#they go to hell as a fun honeymoon trip actually

[henreyettah]

Anyways I can't wait for Gideon and Harrow to get married On Sight in Alecto

[omkookie]

Bathin head canon ᡣ𐭩

⌈ ⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⌉ Smut, oral, cutesy outdoor sex

Bathin likes taking you on trips around hell. The cozy atmosphere and livelihood of different locations always excites him, igniting his passion to explore.

What makes exploring more fun? Doing it with your favorite person. Naturally, he takes you along on all of his trips around hell. You visit Tartaros, Paradise lost, Hades, and Gehenna. He takes you to every beautiful scenery he knows, showing you every stunning view he can. Each location is special, and visiting it with you makes it all the more memorable. He loves traveling, and he loves making memories with you. The time you spend together is special, and he treasures it.

The thrill of having sex in a different location is also a part of why he enjoys traveling so much. He might show you beautiful sceneries, but the most beautiful one to him is you! Your flushed face, panting and tousling his hair before you pull him back to you, grinding your hips against his face.

He loves fucking you out in the open, with a lovely background in sight. You've come close to being caught a few times, but, Bathin always manages to finish you and himself off then dress up before anyone could catch you. He wouldn't let anyone see your pretty face while he's eating you out or pumping his load into you. You're his sight to behold. He brought you here, and only he gets to look at your cute face since he's your partner.

You're having so much fun together! Your trips are amazing and they feel more like a honeymoon. So, Imagine how fun it will be when you go on your actual honeymoon! <3

Read more! Gusion ᡣ𐭩

[theladyofdeath]

Better or Worse {19}

Nessian. Angst. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Better or Worse Masterlist

A/N: Two more chapters! Thank you all for sticking along for the journey. Enjoy!

The weeks have passed by quickly and in less than twenty four hours I’ll be standing at the altar with my husband, renewing our vows.

Throwing a ceremony together so quickly has been exhausting, especially considering my book released last week, but I’ve actually enjoyed the chaos. My sisters have helped tremendously, even in the moments that I’ve insisted that I didn’t need their help. Nonetheless, tomorrow's success will go to them. We’ve all worked hard as hell, which is why the three of us are currently dressed in our finest and sitting on the rooftop of one of Velaris’ most prestigious restaurants. 

While Cassian, Azriel, and Rhysand are surely at some shithole bar, the three of us decided on a little class in celebration of tomorrow.

As the server fills our glasses and leaves the remainder of the bottle of wine in an ice-filled chiller, Feyre raises her glass in a salute. “I know toasts usually come at the end of the night, but we’ve never been the most conventional bunch. Nes, you and Cassian have been the pillar of strength for our group for so long. When shit gets hard, the two of you are the ones to step up and handle it. Your marriage is no different. Things may have gotten rough for a bit—” I roll my eyes at her understatement, but can’t pull the smile from my lips if I try. “But you didn’t let that break the two of you, you didn’t let that tear you apart like so many others would have. You never gave up on your love, on each other, and I’m so glad we get to celebrate that tomorrow.”

I clear my throat to push away the flood of emotion and we clink our glasses together. “Thank you. But the real toast should be for the two of you because if I had to plan this damn thing alone, I would have died.”

They laugh but it’s no joke.

I think it may have killed me.

Although tonight is supposed to be all fun and games, we go over our checklist one last time. We’ll have to get to the venue early tomorrow and finish decorating, but it shouldn’t be too bad.

“Is it weird that I’m nervous?” I ask, fiddling with the stem of my wine glass. “I mean, we’re already married, but this feels different.”

“I don’t think it's weird,” Elain says, cheeks already pink from the wine. “I think it’s nice. It just means that it means a lot to you.”

“I bet Cass is just as nervous,” Feyre says, chiming in. “And just wait until he sees you in your dress. I’ve never seen anything so sexy and elegant in my life.”

I grin. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been dreaming about Cassian's reaction when he sees the dress I bought. “Having to make it through the entire ceremony and reception is going to be torture for him, and I can’t wait.”

“Sadist,” Feyre mumbles, and Elain chokes on her last drop of wine.

She’s not wrong. The sheath of lace fits me like a second skin, the only ornamentation the occasional pattern of intricate beading and the sweetheart neckline dips just low enough to be alluring without being obscene. The lingerie I’ll be wearing beneath it is another story entirely.

Reaching for the bottle, I refill each of our glasses, setting it down at the edge of the table when it’s empty. “Listen, if he isn’t feral by the time we get home, something has gone horribly wrong.”

Home, because we aren’t going on a second honeymoon. We aren’t taking a trip or going anywhere, that’s not what this renewal was about. Sure, we’re having the ceremony and the party afterwards, but it’s to celebrate us.

Home, because there’s nowhere else we’d rather go and no one else we’d rather be with.

The food is earth shattering. By the time we’re done eating, I’m so full that I can hardly move. Cassian will be jealous that I ate so luxuriously without him, but it was too delicious for me to care. I feel a slight buzz from the wine, but nothing too daunting. I feel carefree and completely excited. 

With our empty plates in front of us, Elain asks, “Any news on the adoption front? You haven’t mentioned it in a couple of weeks.”

“We have a meeting with an agency set up for next week, actually,” I say, almost hesitantly, which earns two sets of worried glances in my direction. I shake my head. “I just kinda wanted to see how it went before mentioning it, I guess. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”

Mine included. I have learned through my struggles with infertility that nothing is to be expected.

Elain reaches over and squeezes my hand. “We only want to be there for you. We’re here with you both on this journey, Nesta.”

Knowing that was the point of telling our family about our past struggles, I nod. “I know, and we've been talking a lot about it for the last couple of weeks, Cass and I. I’m getting…excited.”

The agency we’ve been in touch with works mostly with young, unwed mothers in Velaris who aren’t ready for a child. They know that there are loving families, like us, who would do anything to find that missing piece and they help connect the mothers and families. There’s no guarantee we’d meet the mother, as some women opt for closed adoptions, but we don’t care either way.

We haven’t even been approved to work with the agency yet, so I try not to get ahead of myself.

“We’re meeting with them at their office and if that goes well, we’ll have a home visit a few days after that.”

“A home visit?” Feyre asks, eyebrows rising. “That seems a bit quick.”

“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be,” I reply, swirling the wine in my glass. “This is to see if we even get accepted into the program. I’m sure there are going to be plenty of things we run into in this process that are frustrating, but it’s all going to be worth it in the end.”

“I think it’s beautiful that you want to adopt,” Elain says, eyes misty once again from those mom-of-infant hormones. 

We leave soon after and take a walk around the city before I’m back in my car, driving home. I love spending time with my sisters and I’m thankful for all that they’ve done, but I can’t wait to get home, can’t wait to get in bed. The sooner I’m home, the sooner I’m asleep, the sooner tomorrow will be here. 

Once I’m home, the house is dark and quiet. Greg is sprawled out on the couch and hardly stirs as I pass him to head upstairs. I’m not sure what time Cassian will be home but hopefully it isn’t too late. If he’s drinking, which I have no doubt he is, he needs time to sleep it off before the morning.

We’re not twenty-one anymore.

I sneak a peek in my office where my dress is hanging on full display so that the wrinkles are all out. Cass has been banned from this room and he’s done very good at avoiding it like the plague. He won’t be seeing me in this beauty until tomorrow. 

After I shower, I throw on one of my favorite t-shirts, one of Cassian’s, and brush my teeth and hair before sinking into bed. I just open my newest read when the front door opens and closes. It’s not long after when I hear a bang, clatter, Greg’s pissed off noise, and Cassian’s string of filthiest curses.

Maybe I should’ve left a light on.

I hear noises from the kitchen, noises that sound suspiciously like pots and pans being pulled out. I wait, listening, my book open on my lap, waiting for him to come to bed. Then I hear the microwave open and close.

Sighing, I throw the blankets back and head downstairs, making sure he hears me as I descend into the living room.

I hear a cabinet slam followed by another barked curse. Entering the kitchen, I lean a hip against the table and cross my arms, taking in the carnage around me.

The perks of having a chef for a husband: he makes delicious food for every anniversary, birthday, party, you name it.

The cons of having a chef for a husband: he makes questionable food when he’s drunk.

There’s a pot on the stove, pasta boiling away, while a pan filled with an unknown brown sauce simmers nearby. His trusty colander is already in the sink, waiting to be used, while he’s on his hands and knees, digging through the cabinets, looking for something. The microwave beeps, letting us know its contents are ready to be removed. He doesn’t even hear it.

I cross my arms and wait, thinking he’ll realize I’m here eventually. After another minute, listening to the microwave beep as it reminds us it’s done, I ask, “What are you looking for?”

A loud thump carries through the kitchen as Cassian bangs his head on the underside of the shelf he was searching through. He scrambles backward, which is honestly comical, before getting to his feet and facing me.

He freezes as his eyes rove over my body, taking in the t-shirt and the fact that I’m wearing nothing underneath it. “Mother’s tits, you’re so fucking hot. I’m the luckiest bastard on the planet.”

I smirk, welcoming the praise, but just then the microwave beeps again and he gasps. “Cheese toast.”

Blinking, I wait, making sure I heard him right.

Sure enough, he pulls a plate out of the microwave, consisting of two pieces of sandwich bread with cheese melted over it.

“Hungry?” I ask, chuckling as he tears into the cheese toast.

“Carbs,” he replies around a mouth full of cheese and bread, pointing a flailing arm at the pasta boiling on the stove, as if that explains it all. “Need carbs so I’m not hungover tomorrow.”

“You know another way not to be hungover?” I tease, sauntering over to him. “Don't drink your weight in liquor.”

“Baby, if I drank my weight in liquor I’d be dead,” he says, shoving the rest of the toast that’s not really toast in his mouth. “Have you seen me? I’m gigantic.” 

“Mhmm.” I’m close enough to him now that I brush his hair out of his face. “Where did those idiots take you?”

“The bar.”

I laugh, quietly. “I can tell that much. Which one?”

“Rita’s,” he croons. “They told her I’m renewing my vows tomorrow, and she gave us a free round of shots…multiple…multiple free rounds of shots.”

“Explains the whiskey on your breath,” I chuckle. “Well, I’m glad you had fun. Eat your noodles and come to bed.”

“You’re not staying?” He frowns. “Stay. Eat.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s after midnight. I’m old. I’m tired.”

“You’re not old, you’re…sexy in my shirt.” He grabs the old, thinned fabric and pulls me back towards him, but before he can make his move, the water boils over on the stove.

The words that come out of this man…I married a sailor. 

Despite being three sheets to the wind, Cassian is able to clean up quickly and salvage his meal. He plates his pasta and pours his sauce over it, which is a mix of barbecue sauce, honey, and orange marmalade, and smells much better than it has a right to. Just as I’m about to head upstairs, I pause to drop a kiss to the top of his head, telling him to hurry up, but his arms snake around my waist, pulling me down into his lap.

“Stay with me,” he grumbles, pressing his lips to my neck. “Please?”

“Eight o’clock is going to come super early,” I grumble, leaning back into his embrace.

With his free arm, he twirls the pasta on a fork and takes a big bite. “Sure as fuck is.”

We stay like that until he finishes eating, clearing his plate. I stand to take it to the sink, but as soon as I’m on my feet, he’s sweeping me into his arms.

It’s romantic, but with how much he’s had to drink, likely ill-advised.

“You better not fall down the stairs while you’re carrying me,” I threaten as he heads up to our room.

For a moment, he wavers, but just as I gasp he starts to laugh and straightens himself.

“Just kidding.”

I smack him on the arm which only seems to bring him more joy as he reaches the second floor landing and pads down the hall and into our room. He doesn’t drop me on the bed but brings me into the bathroom with him instead. He sets me on the vanity before pulling his shirt over his head and taking off his belt, giving me one hell of a show.

He knows I’m watching and he loves it, both of us shameless. 

After brushing his teeth and washing up, he kicks off the remainder of his jeans and scoops me up, yet again.

“Your hair is still a mess,” I grumble, my lips pressing against his shoulder.

“Sexy mess or disgusting mess?” He asks, and now that the alcohol is beginning to wear off, I can tell he’s exhausted. 

“Somewhere in the middle,” I say, and he chuckles as he lays me down in bed and crawls up behind me, wrapping me in his arms.

His body is warm, safe, my own personal haven. I don’t even think he realizes it, don’t even think he knows the magnitude of what his arms around me brings. I melt into him and close my eyes, sighing contentedly.

“Remember the night before our wedding?” He whispers into the darkness.

Laughing softly, I nod. “Yes, but I’m surprised you do.”

If I thought Cassian was drunk now, it was nothing compared to the state he was in when showed up on my doorstep at three in the morning. More specifically, the doorstep of my father’s house, where I was staying with my sisters that night. Feyre and Elain were both still in high school and I was never the best at making friends, so rather than going out and getting drunk the night before I got married, I hung out at home with my sisters.

Cassian, on the other hand, hung out with his brothers in our brand new apartment off campus and got trashed, thanks to one of the older guys in his fraternity buying them whatever they wanted as a wedding gift.

Rhys and Az had passed out in the living room and Cass decided it would be a good idea to come see me. So he called a cab and then he was there, drunk and stumbling and making so much noise that I’m sure my father heard him sneaking in. We fell asleep, just like this, in each other’s arms, just like we did every night. We didn’t care about any old wives tales about staying apart the night before. We wanted to be together, so that's what we did.

My father was not thrilled the next morning when he woke up and found Cassian sitting at the breakfast table.

“Dad was pissed.” I can’t help but laugh. “I knew without a doubt at that moment that I was making the right decision, marrying you.”

He hums. “Were you doubting it before my drunken escapade?”

“No,” I say, and run my fingers across the arm that’s slung around my waist. “But that just proved my feelings right. Validation.” 

He kisses the back of my neck. “I didn’t think I could love you more than I did back then. Didn’t think it was possible. But I do. I love you more now than I did then, and I’ll love you more tomorrow than I do today.”

I swallow as my eyes line with tears. “Save it for your vows.”

He huffs a laugh. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. My vows are way more romantic than that.”

I can’t wait to hear them, can’t wait to stand with him hand in hand and celebrate our marriage after all that we have overcome. As I drift off into a deep sleep, I once again know, without a doubt, that Cassian is my one and only, the other half of my soul, my lifelong partner and my best friend. 

I don’t know what I did to be this damn lucky.

[sanvirtheobserver]

SMG4 Fanon: FOOD WARS, The Second Course

I officially bring to you my first fan-written episode, as well as the prologue of my new fanfic Taking Flight.

Hope you enjoy!

____________________________________________

We begin in the gaming room, where we see Tari on the couch playing Lies Of P, Luigi playing some pong by himself for some reason (and somehow still losing), Bob and Boopkins playing that weird ass version of Monopoly they like, and Mario on the computer ordering some Pizza.

Pizza Chef: What kind of toppings would you like?

Mario contemplates the meaning of the question for a moment, wandering deep within the wrinkles of his brain in search of an answer. But that didn't work so he just resorted to smashing the keyboard and bury the digital chef in toppings until we are left with an abomination of an order that will be ready shortly.

Mario: PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And he's off to go get the goods, zipping by Meggy who has entered the room with her own box of goods in hand. Surprisingly enough, we also see Whimpu and Belle tagging along.

Belle: Whats got him all worked up?

Meggy: Eh, you know how Red is around food.

Boopkins: Oh! Ko'nichiwa Whimpu-sama, it's been a while.

Whimpu: It is good to see you too, my Furui Yūjin.

Belle: Oi rags, I got the vials. Bushmaster's blend.

Bob: Oh hell yeah! I'll get the vase!

Belle: Aces.

As Bob go gets the "vase" and the weebs start catching up, We see that Tari has just beaten the Puppet King. She collapses into her seat in releif as Clench starts cheering. And it only took them 35 tries.

Clench: THATS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE MVP! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE GOAT! THE GOAT!

Tari: *heh* Oh, hey Meggy.

Meggy: Hey Tari! Guess what I goooooooot.

She then noticed the box Meggy's hands, which was more than enough to get her on her feet.

Tari: *gasp* Is that.........?

Yep, within the box was none other than Gnomeson's gourmet candies. We look to the window seeing Gnomeson himself.

Gnomeson: TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHER******!

Tari: Oh my gosh, you actually found him!?

Meggy: Yeah, we met up at the gym and he hooked me up.

Tari: Then what are we waiting for?

Meggy takes a seat and they both......um.....I'm struggling to find a cigarette analogy to describe this. Anyway, they both take a lollipop.

We then shift perspectives to SMG3 and SMG4 as they begin to head out.

SMG4: Oh C'mon, Three. This'll be fun! ...........Y'know, as long as you behave yourself.

SMG3: I will, I will! Geez, you're the closest thing to a mother I've ever had.

Just then, Mario triumphantly returns with his bounty of 10 whateverthef*** specials. Nice and piping hot.

Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Hm? Oh, hi SMG4! Hey, where are you going?

SMG4: We're heading over to Bloopersville to meet up with FM and X. Apparently they got new looks sometime after the whole Lawyer Kong thing.

SMG3: Yeah, I can't wait to see how dumb they look now. Just wait until they get a look of me.

SMG4: Yeeeaaaah. Anyways, we're gonna be gone for a bit. Don't you have TOO much fun, now! Heh heh..........also at least TRY not to set anything on fire, okay?

Mario: Pingas.

SMG4: Close enough. Let's go.

Now they're off on their ~~honeymoon~~ trip, leaving Mario with an...........idea.

That's right, IT'S HOUSE PARTY TIME!!!!

The main hall is a buzz with games and laughter. We see Bob and Rob cheering on Kaizo as he bobs for corn, Chris and Swag playing Pin The Tail On The Teletubby with Luigi, Boopkins teaching Jub Jub how to play Bakugan, Shroomy doing some target practice, and Whimpu showing off his cool rock collection to impress the ladies. Well, more like lady since Melony is the only one who's actually paying attention to the shiny things.

Whimpu: And this is Neodymium glass. It can actually change colors depending on the lighting of the surrounding environment.

Melony: Wooooow! That's so cool. What does that one do?

Whimpu: Oh, this is just Mahogany Obsidian.

Saiko: It's a wonder how she's still awake.

Belle: Honestly, I can't blame her. It's like a Spanish soap opera. You don't know what the hell they're saying, but then you start to piece together what's happening then your hooked.

Saiko: You really have gotten a lot softer, haven't ya.

Belle: Oi, Pot. You got something to say to the Kettle?

Saiko: *chuckles* Alright, alright. Forget I said anything.

We see Tari and Meggy headed to the party table with their Gnomish Candies..........where Meggy noticed Mario with his Pizzas coming over as well. Mario then takes notice of the girls and their Candy. It was when their gazes met that thing's started to get quiet. Everybody took notice of the two staring each other down at the party table.

Meggy: Hey there, Red. What ya got there?

Mario: Pizza. How about you?

Meggy: Oh, just some candy.

Mario: I see.

The energy has changed. Meggy turned her gaze to her fellow Sweet Tooths, and Mario turned his gaze to his fellow Greasy Bois. The line has been drawn. The board is set. All the pieces are taking their places. Their gazes meat once again. A fiery determination glowed within both.

Mario: So................what happens now?

A rhetorical question. You know what happens now. Brace yourselves people, for you are about to witness a...........

Mario & Meggy: FOOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

And here we go! The main hall is a Frenzy as sweets, spice, and everything completely unhealthy roars through the air. Kaizo and Bob clash blades, their movements as swift as lightning as sugar and grease flake off like sparks with each strike. Whimpu lays down suppressing fire with a fan of Pretzels as Belle showers the room with a hail of Doritos. Shroomy is blasting condiments in all directions, Saiko's KFC hammer shakes the earth with every impact. Chris and Swag take artillery positions, raining down rock candy artillery as Melony retaliates against Luigi's Unicorn Lollipop Lance with her Pizza Sword, all while Boopkins, Jub Jub, and Tari act as field medics for the Sweet Tooths. We then pan over to Mario using his Pizza Shield to deflect the projectiles of Meggy's M&M16.

Meggy: It's no use, Mario! I have the high ground! Surrender now and we can end this quickly!

Mario: You wish it would be that easy.

Mario throws his hat, but Meggy dodges into the air. She aims down sights towards Mario. All she needs is one clean shot and-

BAM!!!! A surprise sideswipe sends her skidding. Luckily, Tari was able to catch her. Both were shocked to see none other than Pepperman! Mario catches his hat and plops it on with a smirk.

Mario: Thank's for the save, Peppino.

We pan over to see Peppino Spaghetti and his whole crew tipping the balance of the battle. It looks like Mario called in backup this time around, leaving the Sweet Tooths outnumbered by the Greasy Bois.

Meggy: Dammit.........FALL BACK TO THE CAFE!

And so, the Greasy Bois are victorious as the Sweet Tooths are pushed back to SMG3's Café. A Pizza Tower is placed on top of the Castle as proof of their dominion. An impressive win, but this was just the first battle in a war that has just begun.

Behind the Cafe's doors, the Sweet Tooths have regrouped and are now planning their counter attack. Boopkins and Jub Jub are preparing what appear to be makeshift candy explosives. Once the prep work is done, they gather around Meggy as Tari lays out a map of the Greasy Bois' Pizza Tower.

Meggy: We're never gonna end this war if we can't retake the Snack Table, and we can't take back the Snack Table without getting through that Tower.

She points to four different areas of the map.

Meggy: Mario and the Greasy Bois have the Table stashed at the top of the Tower. They may outnumber us, but we'll have a better chance if we can deal with each floor without alerting the floor above. Once we've reached the top and all the ICDs are placed, we deliver our last payload to the Table and bring the whole thing crashing down.

Tari: We lost our last battle because we couldn't take them all at once, so this time we'll need to take them on one floor at a time. It is crucial that we stay together in order to have the numbers advantage against each single floor, so no slacking behind and no rushing in alone.

Luigi: The ICDs are ready for transport Ma'am.

Meggy: Excellent. Any word from our scouts?

Chris: Front door is a no-go. Too heavily guarded. Swag had to stay behind to cover our escape. God be with him.

Bob: Our best chance is to enter through the window of SMG4's room. That will give us the clearest path up stairs.

Meggy: Alright then. Remember to stick together and stick to the shadows. Do not engage unless I give the order. You need to take someone out? Do it quietly. Everybody ready?

The whole team nods in agreement. Meggy turns to Tari, who gives a confident smile.

Tari: We can do this.

Meggy: Then what are we waiting for? Let's give em a good ol' fashioned Sweet Tooth Surprise!

And so the Sweet Tooths are off, preparing to make their move under the cover of night. Kaizo notices them mobilizing as he scouts from the roof of the Castle.

At the peak of the Tower, we see Saiko and Belle dragging Swag to the foot of Mario's Pizza Throne. By his side is Peppino, watching down upon the interloper with a judgemental gaze.

Saiko: Kaizo saw this one skulking around the Main Lobby.

Peppino: I see. What exactly were you doing here, hm?

Swag: Oh, nothing. I was just waiting on a date.

Peppino: Is that so. And who exactly is this date of yours?

Swag: Your mom LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

And just close that, he was sent to THE PIT! Which in reality was just a kiddypool full of Extra Hot Marinara Sauce that REALLY stings when you get it in your eyes. It was then that Kaizo had arrived to deliver the news.

Kaizo: The Sweet Tooths are making their move. It looks like they plan on taking the fight to us. We should act now.

Belle: HA! I say let the Gutbags try.

Whimpu: But if they get here, they could take our table and all will be lost!

Peppino: Indeed. Without the table, our Golden Crispy Kingdom will be lost forever! We must mobilize and-

Mario: No.

All eyes turn to Mario as he walks to the edge and turns his gaze to the Showgrounds below.

Mario: Let them come. Let them see our glory and try to stop us. These Grounds are just the beginning. We shall soon spread across the Mushroom Kingdom. Then the country. Then the world. All shall know the glory of the Greasy Bois! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well that escalated quickly. Though, I've seen worse paths to world domination than a house party turned civil war.

Anywho, the Sweet Tooths enter through SMG4's Room Window, with Meggy and Bob quickly dispatching some Pig Cops.

Bob: I love myself some fresh ham. So good you could ea-

Meggy: Bob I swear to Greg I will actually murder you.

Once the room is secured, the rest enter and Tari is the first to enter the main hall, her Candycane Crossbow at the ready. Luigi and Boopkins are right behind her as they make their way up the staircase. At the door, Luigi uses his Astral projection to peer into the floor above. Apart from a few Cheeseslimes, the coast seems to be clear for the most part. He returns to his body after locating the entrance to the tower.

Luigi: Alright. We should be clear to proceed.

Clench: I don't like this. It sounds like we're walking into a-

?????: Going somewhere?

The trio quickly turns to see Saiko, Kaizo, and Melony on the edge of the balcony. Boopkins quickly aims his Dessert Eagle as Luigi readies his Unicorn Lollipop Lance, but Tari is frozen in fear with her back to the door desperately trying to get it open.

Saiko: Well well well..........

Saiko makes her way towards Tari as Kaizo and Melony face off against Boopkins and Luigi. Tari raises her crossbow as Saiko approaches.

Tari: Stay back! I'm warning you!

She fires a Candycane, but Saiko catches it with ease and crushes it in her hand. She then rips the Crossbow from Tari's hands and pins her against the door by the shoulder.

Clench: Hey, watch it! It takes hours to get a jacket looking this good.

Tari: I.......I'll never surrender to you!

Saiko: Come on, Tari. You can be so much more than this. Just come with us, and we can have a little talk.

Their talk is interrupted by a boot to Saiko's face, courtesy of Meggy. Saiko tries to retaliate with a swing of her hammer, but is intercepted by Bob and sent flying off the balcony with a well timed parry. Chris arrives, pulls Tari aside, and blows the doors wide open with his FR-GL.

Chris: Come on you apes! Do you wanna live forever!?

Bob: Keep going, guys! We'll hold them off!

Tari snaps out of her shock and makes her way through the door alongside Meggy, and Chris. They all make their way to the entrance of the Pizza Tower, where they encounter Shroomy with his dual condiment cannons.

Shroomy: Stop right there! No sugary treats are allowed beyond this point.

Chris: Don't worry. I got this.

Tari looks over to Chris preparing something. He swiftly slides a can of sugar frosted sardines right at Shroomy's feet.

Chris: Wait for it.

Shroomy: I will now require your immediate and unconditional surren-

Suddenly, a bear rips it's way through the woodworks, scooping up the sardines and thrashes Shroomy around before dragging him screaming below the floorboards. Looking back on it, I realize having so much unguarded food in a location surrounded by woodlands that are full of wild animals *probably* wasn't the best idea.

But enough semantics. It's time for our PIZZA TOWER ANY PERCENT SPEEDRUN. Our trio blitzes through each floor with breakneck pace Meggy's aim is swift and true. Chris' explosive ordinance blankets the battlefield, and Tari.......well, she's too busy trying to keep up while also setting up each ICD within the tower. Their progress is interrupted with the arrival of Peppino along with Pepperman, Vigilante, and The Noise. The battle is intense, as each side throws everything they have at one another.

Vigilante: Ya got moxie, kid. But ya'll need more than that.

Meggy simply smirks as she notices Pepperman coming in hot from behind trying to get in another sideswipe. But as Vigilante unloads a hail of bullets, Meggy expertly dodges and Pepperman ends up passing right below her. He gets riddled with bullets as he crashes into Vigilante, taking them both out.

Meggy: That enough *Moxie* for ya?

Pepperman/Vigilante: My scrotums.

We then cut to Chris facing off against the Noise, who isn't really fighting him so much as trying to bore him to death with an "intimidating" speech.

Noise: I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire PT armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my-

Chris just pulls out an RPG and blows his ass to high heaven. That just leaves us with Tari setting up another ICD before being confronted by Peppino, who uses his signature beyblade attack. Tari panicks as she frantically tries to avoid getting ripped up, but is driven into a corner.

Peppino: Give up, blue girl. Your gaming skills are no match for the Spaghetti Family Swag.

It is then that Tari notices a crate next to her labeled "Materiali Pericolosi". Seeing no other option, she quickly rummages through the crate as Peppino goes in for another attack. But right in the nick of time, Tari manages to force feed him a freshly baked pizza. With Pineapple. The crime against Italy is too much for Peppino to handle as he collapses onto the ground screaming and defeated. Tari very awkwardly steps around the suffering Italian man and regroups with the others as the trio makes their way to the final battle. They make their way to Mario's Throne Room, where Bell is ready with her Takigun and Whimpu is using Rob as a Spear as they guard the Snack Table.

Belle: C'mon ya Muckers! Ya feeling lucky?!

Whimpu: Surrender now if you value your lives.

Rob: Please put me down I am very tired.

Meggy: Let us handle the goons. You just focus on delivering that payload.

Tari nervously clutches the last ICD as Meggy and Chris lock and load.

Chris: This is for Swag, you Greasy Bitches!

Chris kicks off the fight with a barrage from his FRGL, while Belle and Meggy exchange hails of gunfire. Tari makes a break straight for the Snack Table. Whimpu is in hot pursuit, rearing Rob for a surprise attack but is then intercepted by Chris's boot.

Chris: Keep going! I'll cover you!

Whimpu proceeds to swing Rob around like a hammer at Chris, much to Rob's motion sick dismay. Belle is still preoccupied with Meggy as Tari see the table. But right as she is about to set the device...........

Mario: Hey stinky!

Tari looks up and is shocked to see Mario standing on top of the massive floating Pizza with a sinister face.

Mario: Your pathetic resistance ends now, Sweet Tooths! Me and Pizzaface here are gonna show you what's for! With our combined pow-

But just then, Pizzaface flips around and flings Mario straight into the floor.

Mario: HEY, WHAT THE F***! We're supposed to be working together!

Pizzaface: YOU THINK I FORGOT OUR LAST MEETING, MARIO? THE ONE WHERE YOU ATE ME?

Mario: Oh.............I sense I've made a mistake of some kind.

Pizzaface then goes on a rampage, crashing into everything in sight. Belle is unfortunately caught in one of Pizzaface's attacks, knocking her unconscious. Whimpu drops rob and heroically catches her in his arms before running away to safety. Chris and Meggy open fire on him, but are then sent flying with a whip from his green pepper mustache. Meggy is flung towards the balcony, hanging from the edge, whereas Chris is flung into the PIT where Swag is.......chilling, for some reason.

Chris: OH GOD MY EYES AAAAAAAAHH!!!!

Swag: Oh hey Chris. I just made some Bloody Maries.

Tari is petrified in fear as Pizzaface stares her down with a sadistic grin. She crumples to the ground, clutching her head as she braces for the end. But just as all seems lost........

Clench: Hey, Tari........

Tari turns her attention to her robot arm.

Clench: We have a mission to complete. Remember?

Tari: I......I don't know what to do. Everyone's down and everything is falling apart. Clench.........

Tears begin to well up in her eyes.

Clench: Listen to me. I know you're scared, but that hasn't stopped you before, has it? Remember that time Waluigi turned everyone into zombies and tried to take over the world, and you saved everybody by beating him at a fighting game?Remember when Meggy was abducted by that lizard weeb guy, and you joined the assault on Anime Island to save her? Remember when that Zero guy tried to recycle the universe and you joined the fight to beat him? And surely you remember the time you were stuck in some kind of bootleg Westworld and created your own pocket dimension to save everybody? Those were all scary too, weren't they?

Tari contemplates Clench's words. Those moments WERE scary.......yet that didn't stop her from helping her friends when it mattered the most.

Clench: You don't need to be fearless to be brave, Tari. You just gotta do what needs doing.

It was in that moment Tari felt something. She got back up to her feet and gazed defiantly straight into Pizzaface's Pepperonis. Her fear didn't disappear......it just didn't matter anymore. Clench was right. You don't have to be fearless to be brave.

Just then, Tari's eyes lit up with a vivid azure hue as a surge of energy coarsed threw her. Meggy managed to pull herself up just in time to see Tari levitating in the air. From her back emerged a pair of translucent blue wings crackling with energy. Tari then flew into the sky, breaching the clouds as the first sight of dawn broke. She then rocketed back down at Mach speed, her robotic arm crackling with power as it made contact with Pizzaface's cheese. The two crashed through the tower's floors, before breaking through the Castle's roof. Both Greasy Bois and Sweet Tooths present ceased their fighting as a massive crash shook the foundations of the Main Hall. When the dust had settled, they saw a crater in the main hall riddled in Pizzaface's mechanical remains. At the center of the crater was severely mangled Pizzahead and an unconscious Tari.

We then cut to later in the morning. SMG3 and SMG4 return to see the Castle abuzz with activity. The war was over, the Pizza Tower was destroyed, The Sweet Tooths and Greasy Bois have reached a truce, and the festivities had resumed. We see Kaizo bobbing for corn as Bob, Rob, and the Noise cheer him on. We see Boopkins, Jub Jub, and Melony sitting down as the Vigilante tells them the story of how the military once bombed his buddy Keith. Whimpu is once again showing off his rock collection to Belle, who seems to be actually paying attention this time. Chris and Swag are laying back and enjoying some Bloody Maries as Shroomy arm wrestles Pepperman. At the foyer we see Peppino and Mario spinning pizzas and playing tunes on the turntables. The SMGs make their way to the Gaming Room where they see Saiko and Meggy watching over Tari as she lays down on the couch.

SMG4: Looks like we missed quite the party, huh?

SMG3: I'll say, judging by the hole in the ceiling. And the Crater in the main hall. And the ambulance outside. And the tower pieces every- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?

Meggy: It's a long story. How you holding up, soldier?

Tari: Just fine, captain. A little dizzy, though.

Saiko: I have to admit. You did quite a number on poor Pizzahead. I didn't think you had it in you to even fight someone, let alone.........THAT.

Tari looks down at her robot arm.

Tari: Yeah. Neither did I.

SMG4: Well, the Castle is still in one piece for the most part, so I guess it's fine. It's definitely gonna delay the second floor, though.

Saiko: Hey, how was your trip to Bloopersville?

SMG3: ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FM GOT ABS AND I DIDN'T! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?

SMG3 continues to be a deva as the camera zooms out from the Castle and into the woodlands, where we see.......something........moving in the trees as the screen fades to black and the credits role.

[roseband]

so like i'm going on vacation at the end of this month (on the cheapest week/days of the year to travel lol and 6 days in nola with flights for two of us (minus food, which we eat anyways while home) is ~1k)

and like, i'm planning a small vacation (for myself and myself alone bc my fiance needs to save his pto for our honeymoon in a year cause I have 2 more weeks than him) for whenever the rose release their europe dates (i'm legit planning on going time zone by time zone for three hours until i snag a vvvip lmao, that will determine where i go, if i don't get a vvvip i probably won't do it)

and like i'm not looking forward to hearing bs from one of my coworkers about this, cause she's already kvetched about vacation #2, cause i went away w/ my family (and only took 4 pto days to do 8 days off by timing it well) at the beginning of the summer, and i have next month planned and put into the system and company calendar

and she's heavily implying that i have other ppl paying my bills (which LOL... nope, my fiance and i split things nearly proportionate (plus i have medical bills that he doesn't on top of our expenses), my mom pays our family plan phone bill, but i pay her coffee subscription and for dinners out to even it out) while she definitely makes more money than me

like girlllllll i spend $1.50-3/day on lunch, u buy lunch out which midtown is at least $15, closer to $18, there's the vacations...... there it is, $15 x 3 (days a week in office) x 4 (weeks a month) = $180/month, there's my extra two vacation compared to yours. That's .....fucking two thousand dollars dude, there's the family trip (which my portion was $750 cause my fiance, mom, and i split a room and divided it equally) and the anniversary trip I paid for both my fiance and I to go on (which is $1k, and my fiance is paying for our food and museum entry while away), you ate ur vacations as overpriced midtown salads....like... $1,750 isn't even all of the difference between home lunch, made in bulk and the $2.1k spent on midtown lunch in tourist hell, there's one of (hopefully) the flights one way to somewhere to see the rose lol

like i prioritize.... spending a week in jazz clubs, or 8 days in a hot tub and water park on a boat with my extended family, or....meeting the rose yet again (lol), over the convenience of midtown lunch (even though the last two weeks i've been super bad about midtown lunch, bc i've been so busy at work and come home and take a nap instead of cooking ;~;...but that's justifiable cause the overtime balances out the $15 lol (i am so tired i have to give another presentation in a half hour ;;;;;))

like the "how do u afford this while making less than me" which turns into "well seems fake tho but okay" is not fun???? because i am NUTS when it comes to money, i had to make myself a budget to make myself spend more on things i like, cause if i don't, i'll legit not spend anything, i will buy liver (yummy tho!!) for meals that cost $6 for four servings, or make BULK bulk chili that costs like $25 for 20 servings (which is actually really good!!! it's good chili i make good chili), every day... w/o my budget app telling me it's okay to spend

like i know she doesn't mean it in this manner cause no one at work knows, but she's literally digging on something i've had to deal with with a literal therapist, out of weird jealousy????? shtappppp like i literally have adhd/ocd combo diagnosed, pls....this is my mental BAD making me a frugal hoarder and i'm trying to stop it lol, and if i cannot defeat the two wolves fighting in my head day to day, i'll definitely go do BIG fun things instead

[moviepixie]

Title: 365 Days: This day

Subtitle: Laura the drama queen

So, I want to start up by saying that this movie is very mature and contains s*x scenes and this review/ recap contains spoilers. That being said, we can get into the review. 

You know the expression “It’s so bad and yet I can’t look away”, that completely describes this movie. 365 days: this day, is the second movie to the first movie 365 days. I have not watched the first movie and admittedly, I don’t think I missed a lot. First off, I’d like my readers to know that his film has a lot of languages, a few i remember and took note of are: Polish, Italian and English

The movie begins with our main girl Laura preparing for her wedding with our main love interest Massimo. It was looking like a small music video because we see her in her dress staring into the Oasis and smiling. Only to have sex with Massimo a few moments later before the wedding! Like what the actual hell! Have they not heard of the statement “it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding”? Anyway, Laura’s Bestfriend stumbles on the two of them, not too long after and breaks them up. 

We are then fed the info dump about Laura having lost the baby that she was carrying for Massimo after an incident that happened in the first movie. She then proceeds to tell us that Massimo must never find out she was pregnant. And you’d think that this piece of information would play a vital role in the story, maybe a huge fight about openness or just her randomly blurting it out in an argument? No, that secret is just between her and her bestie.

Anyway, as someone who is completely new to the 365-day franchise, I thought that the first sex scene was just a part of a few and I would be felt with some steamy drama. Oh, boy was I wrong! I’ll tell you when it became apparent that I had signed myself up for a harsh awakening.

After the wedding, they go on their honeymoon, where they proceed to have sex in multiple locations, from their hotel to a golf course and so on. At this point, I felt like I was involuntarily thrust into their relationship. While they were having sex on their honeymoon, her bestie was in their house having sex with her husband’s assistant!

Anyway, Laura and Massimo both return to their home catching the two in the act though it is casually brushed over. They then are informed that Massimo arranged a trip for Laura and her bestie. And for some reason, Laura takes offence to it. To quote her, “Do you think I’m a piece of furniture that you can move around?”. I have never seen anyone in my life react to a fun trip.

 Massimo soon has to get back to work after they return, what exactly that work is? I have no idea, he is a mafia boss and they don’t exactly have a job description. We soon find Laura getting angry that she does not work while living in Massimo’s house, she then brings up the fact that he kidnapped her (in the first movie I believe) and she likes working. To me, it’s like, why the hell did you marry him in the first place?

Anyway, this leads us to our next male lead, nacho. Nacho is a gardener for Massimo and meets Laura while on the job. They chat for a while about her being unhappy before he leaves her to get back to work.

During Christmas, Massimo gives Laura her own company to make her happy so that she can work. But Laura didn’t get Massimo a gift because he ‘has everything’ and decides to give him a special gift of..... you guessed it, sex. It’s like these people are freaking Rabbits at this point! It was the kinkiest thing I had ever seen. After the deed, Laura basically called Massimo a lonely dude and Massimo suddenly admits that he has a brother, to which Laura gets pissed off because he didn’t tell her. It’s like, sis, you clearly know little about this man and you married him?!

Anywho, fast-forward, they go to a banquet to which Laura acts like a pain in the but because she’s upset, Massimo then decides he needs to go see someone before they left. This leads to her walking in on him cheating on her. She then runs outside and is met with Nacho in a sports car outside who then agrees to take her away from the venue and to his house.

To this, I had to ask the question, how did a gardener have a sportscar and a big house? This dude was living lavishly from cutting some weed and trimming grass? Sign me up! Soon, we see a whole montage of them growing closer together while Massimo was looking all over for her. And as you might have guessed, nacho and Laura eventually have sex! Like girl, you do this every time!

Eventually, while in negotiation with Massimo, Nacho hands Laura over to the wrong set of guards, and Laura is soon in the possession of a different person entirely, Massimo’s twin brother! His twin, Adriano planned to use Laura against Massimo. And now, her two lovers were making haste to find her (technically, they were walking casually while the home girl was in danger). 

After a lot of tension, Laura ends up getting shot while trying to break free in the exchange between all parties as well as Adriano.

Conclusion:

This movie was mostly short music videos and if you ask me, combining all the sex scenes together, would be longer than the amount of dialogue in this movie. In fact, Massimo and nacho rarely spoke in this movie at all! Overall this movie was way longer than it should have been and this summary cut down an almost 2-hour movie! Overall, watching this movie sends you through the spiral of, what could possibly happen next even though it is unbearable to watch. I am currently on the next movie, 365 days: Next day, so you can expect that review soon. 

I can give this movie, 365 days: this day a solid 3.5/10. Because if I’m being 100% honest, my review made it sound a lot more interesting.

Leave your movie suggestions in the comments!

[ceruleanchillin]

Honeymoon Headcanons: Mayans Edition

Characters: Angel, Coco, EZ x F!Reader

Miami (Angel)

It wasn’t difficult at all to decide where the two of you would take your honeymoon. When you weren’t gonna be naked, Angel wanted you in sundresses and bikinis. You wanted him in linen shirts, and to feel him up in a club. Couple that with you both wanting a tropical environment, and Miami it is.

Angel letting you handle the accommodations, because you seem to know more about what you wanna see/where you wanna go than he does. He only cares about a bed and shower for when he’s not taking you in the inappropriate places. He just hands over the cash, though he complains about his hurt wallet.

Angel hard as a rock when he sees your new name on your plane ticket.

The two of you nearly missing your flight because your husband needs to “show his wife he loves her”.

You babying him on the flight, because Angel has never flown anywhere before.

“Mami, it’s perfectly valid to feel like a flying toaster can’t safely get you anywhere but a casket. Which they can’t even put you in, because you’ll be everywhere!”

Cue you distracting him with kisses and dirty words in his ear, which gets you initiated into the Mile High Club

Barely making it into the cute little condo before the two of you are at it again, collapsing in the late hours to jet lag and mutual satisfaction.

Your first official day is spent dragging Angel around the humid streets. Knowing he stresses easily if you plan things too tightly, and wanting to wing it yourself. It’s surprising how well you to fit in, it almost feels like home.

Angel switching from being jealous, because your tiny cotton sundress is attracting more than just his attention, to him kissing all over your dewy skin because so much of it is visible.

You getting as jealous as Angel, because it seems like each place you drag him to has openly interested ladies. It’s the white linen shirt that he won’t fully button no matter how many times you try to make him.

Angel basking in the attention, and even playing it up to force you to be the one to initiate inappropriate public sex.

Smirking when you break after a woman pays for his (and unintentionally yours) order at a small cafe you stepped into and you snap and drag him to a hidden place.

“I only love you querida, mi alma.” he whispers in your ear when he bottoms out inside you.

You two are a beautiful couple. Photogenic as all hell. Alone, neither of you have a problem attracting interest, but together, you make people want to be seen around you. That’s why you have no problem club hopping to all the exclusive places.

Angel taking photos and videos of you dancing because he’s so enthralled. He can’t wait to show your kids one day when they ask why he fell for you, and he explains how full of life you are.

Getting enough liquor in Angel to get him dance somewhere away from the club, especially since he (lies) and says he can’t.

You and Angel competing to see who can get the most people to buy your drinks + the two of you losing track because you both get drunk.

A quickie in the coatroom is the prize, Angel fucking you to the hypnotic beat.

Spending a few hours apart the following day, only to still keep texting and FaceTiming each other until you met up, touch starved, at a small restaurant.

Deciding to spend the rest of the day at your Airbnb laid up under each other after Angel scores weed. Teasing Angel about his monetary complaints when you spend all night enjoying the small backyard pool.

Angel thanking God for getting an adventure loving woman as his soulmate when you wake him up the next afternoon to inform him you rented jet skis for the day.

You being impressed when, while jet skiing, Angel silver tongues your way into an invitation to a nearby yacht party out of the host.

FaceTiming Gilly to make him jealous that you two are doing Hookah and drinking Casamigos in a hot tub.

Angel ramping up the mockery when EZ and Coco appear on screen, attracted by Gilly’s whining. Everyone looking overworked and salty, while you and Angel are living your best non-sober lives.

Slipping away from the party to one of the rooms on the boat, because once again, you and Angel never know when to stop teasing each other before it ends up in sex.

Feeling bold enough to suggest that since Angel’s been documenting so much of the trip, that maybe he should film this too.

The aftermath being a surprisingly sweet series of kisses and confessions where the two of you express how thankful you are to have found each other. How you can’t wait to build a forever together.

Marfa + Roswell (Coco)

No one knew how you got Coco to agree to travel for your honeymoon until you finally revealed where you were going. Splitting a week between Marfa and Roswell.

You and Coco are that “weird” conspiracy, incense, and weed couple, so it makes sense.

Giving Coco an edible before you leave, because like Angel, he doesn’t fuck with air travel like that.

“They got me with that bullshit in the military, but that was out of my control. You askin’ a lot right now, you’re lucky you’re cute mujer.”

Coco getting progressively handsy during the flight as the edible hits. Eventually, you stop fake-fighting his neck kisses and forward touches.

Also like Angel in that he’s unafraid to become a member of the Mile High Club.

The ride from the El Paso airport, to the car rental place, to Marfa takes far longer than Coco would like.

He’s used to long stretches of trip on his bike, and when you notice him becoming antsy, you distract him with interesting facts about Marfa.

The entire time, Coco can’t help but think that you’re the perfect road trip co-pilot, only to realize he actually meant his life in general now.

Coco proud as hell when you fall in love with his accommodations choice like he did. The colorful airstream trailers of the El Cosmico hotel are the two of you through and through.

You both trying to be responsible adults and refresh after travel, but continuing to get lost in each other during the whole process.

Shower sex -> Making out while drying off -> Touching while searching through your bags for something to wear -> bed sex -> repeat

Looking thoroughly mauled when you finally manage to get Coco off of you and into the car in search of food the next afternoon.

Coco being happy you can’t cover up due to the heat, while you wonder what superpower he and his boys have that let them wear flannel and long sleeves in the heat.

Dragging Coco to a cute cafe you saw on instagram, and him knowing, by the hipster design of it, that his wallet is about to cry.

Stealing food from his plate, and laughing at him sucking his teeth and whining when he catches you.

“You’re stuck with me forever now Johnny sooo….get used to this.”

“Small price to pay for that I guess.”

Finding small shops to go to and being Siamese twins in every one. Coco showing he has good taste in a lot of things one might think he wouldn’t. Him opening up his wallet at everything you 'ooh' and 'aww' at. He can’t help it, he likes you happy, and your kisses and adoring looks are addicting.

For almost everything you get, Letty gets something too. Neither of you wants that tantrum when you get back.

You fighting yourself to avoid the art supply store, and Coco not having it.

“I have so many supplies already, it’s an addiction at this point.”

“So? Get some more. It’s our week, we shouldn’t stress about shit.”

Coco bragging on your talents and successes to the art shop cashier when you checkout.

“Cocoooo.” you murmur hiding your face in his shoulder, arms around his waist.

“Don’t be shy ma, you’re fucking amazing. I love your skills.”

Cue the cashier swooning at the two of you.

Finding unique liquor stores and getting tipsy on samples. It becomes twice as fun when locals, and other tourists alike, start discussing the Marfa lights with you, and you and Coco impress everyone with your ideas.

Being invited to a bonfire smoke session with the other El Cosmico guests when you get back.

Sketching Coco by the firelight, because he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in that moment, and now he’s officially yours.

The sex being on another level of intimate that night, because all day you and Coco have been engaging in your respective love languages, and it culminates in mutual need for each other.

The drive to Roswell being more tolerable for Coco, but he still misses his bike. Your excitement about AlienFest is so palpable however, he quickly forgets.

Your hotel being more conventional, but the people you meet making up for it. Finally, you and Coco aren’t the weirdest ones in the room.

Taking the time before the festival starts to check in with friends and family and accumulate odd souvenirs for them. You believe Coco is intentionally getting them stuff they’ll hate.

“Taza won’t wear that baby, he has better taste in jewelry than UFO earrings.”

“Ok, but can he bitch about us not getting him anything? Plus, you can guilt anyone into anything.”

Doing cute edible pastries at the festival.

“You know Aliens are demons right? Jack Parsons and L. Ron Hubbard were doing summoning rituals in the Mojave in 1946, and Roswell was the following year.”

“Word?…Shit. Tell me that again when we’re not rolling. I wanna read about it………you’re so smart mami.”

Coco realizing between every snack stop, every dance he shares with you, every trinket you pick up, and every little conspiracy tidbit you share, that you’re his wife now. That the peace he’s been feeling all week, that he thought he’d never have, is going to be his new normal.

New Orleans (EZ)

You and EZ both enjoy engaging with history and culture, and felt that your honeymoon should be built off of your shared interests. During your meticulous wedding planning, it was decided New Orleans would be the honeymoon destination. It didn’t hurt that you missed your southern roots too, even if you weren’t from New Orleans.

Traveling with EZ is a dream considering you’re both pretty organized, together people. He’s not afraid of flying, but you’re always a little nervous.

EZ being Best Husband™️ and soothing even the most minor of your stresses by turning your attention to the excitement of your trip and your new relationship status.

Teasing EZ in-flight won’t get you Mile High Club initiated, because he finds it much more entertaining to punish you by letting you work the both of you up, and making you stay that way for the duration of the flight. He’s got enough will power to suffer through it, because your soft whines make it worth it.

The airbnb is everything it was promised to be, and you’d appreciate that later, but all you can think of is your husband when you step through the door. That’s the other half of why EZ likes to leave you waiting. Your aggression and exclusive desire for him gets, and keeps, him hard.

It rains the following day, which is just as well, because neither of you are quite ready to stop physically expressing your love for each other. The day consists of ordering food, falling out of your clothes and onto each other, separating to read, falling back on each other, and quick naps.

Angel sending mocking texts in your Reyes group about how you’re trying to turn his brother bamma like you, only to stop when you threaten him with no souvenirs.

EZ and you taking responsibility for your own tour because let’s face it, you both know exactly what you want to see, and can plan a more satisfying tour for the both of you. You take turns deciding where to go next.

When it’s his turn, EZ picks an art museum, and can’t quit smiling about it. You think it’s because he picked a place he really wanted to go to.

“Babe, I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” your excitement always makes EZ’s heart race with his own.

He hands you the guide brochure he picked up at the door, folded to the section he wants you to look at.

“Faith Ringgold exhibit?!”

He hums and nods, grunting when you knock into him with a hug.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I love you.” you look up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears and he just kisses you, afraid he’ll cry if he says anything.

The two of you avoid the tourist trap spots for lunch and find a cute family owned cafe. You order for the both of you based on what you know about southern cuisine and both of your tastes.

You love watching EZ fall in love with the food as he keeps asking “Can you make this?” about everything he eats.

The two of you walking through the Garden District in the evening. Hands swinging between you with no plans but to admire the beautiful homes and foliage.

EZ noting how awestruck you are, and you describing what you love about the historic, towering homes.

He catches that when you describe what your dream home in the area would be, he and your future children are mentioned frequently, and it makes butterflies dance in his stomach. He can picture your family in the yards around him.

The two of you almost make it back to your Airbnb, but give into your baser urges after all the domestic conversation. EZ pulls you into an alley for a quickie, the two of you fighting to silence the other’s vocal expression.

You teasing EZ after that he’s more like his brother than he thinks. Him teasing back the two of you would’ve been caught and arrested if he was like Angel.

The following day is relaxed and less planned. The both of you getting thoughtful gifts for each member of your family, blood and otherwise. EZ scores major points for the gifts he suggests for your mom and dad, and you kind of want to jump him again.

EZ is glad you’re impressed, but it’s nothing to him. It all comes naturally because he loves you so much, and refuses to be anything other than the husband he knows you deserve.

AN:

I didn’t want to add this, cuz I wanted to end on a sweet note, but you just know Angel would accidentally send that vid to one of his boys.

Personally, I lose it for shit like this. Anything domestic in writings is my jam, so I decided to make these headcanons.

- Fun fact: Jet Ski is kind of like Bandaid in that it’s become the generic term for “personal water vehicles”, but it’s actually a specific brand’s name for their PWVs. I learned this while writing this enjoy💀.

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn, do you have any recs for good rom coms?

okkkkkk strap in lmao

I actually wrote this LONG ASS email to my friend recently when she asked for "escapist romance reads" (for grownups) -- I assume that is what you are asking for? All of these are grownup books - I'm just literally cutting and pasting that email.

So some are more "rom" than "com" but they are all FUN and A DELIGHT.

All Emily Henry books - BEACH READ, PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION and the latest BOOK LOVERS (about an agent and an editor!!) -- these are pure perfection, IMO.

I love all Jasmine Guillory books, they are an absolute auto-buy for me. Her latest is a bit of a departure, it's called BY THE BOOK and is a contemporary Beauty and the Beast reimagining -- it's a lot of fun. (Though I personally prefer her other series, this one is def "escapist" and delightful!)

THE FLATSHARE by Beth O'Leary -- it's about a girl who works days, and a guy who works nights. They share a flat in London that neither of them could afford on their own -- but they have NEVER ACTUALLY MET. They just communicate via post-it notes they leave for one another. Until.....  (I also really liked another book by her, THE ROAD TRIP, about a two exes that unexpectedly have to share a ride to a wedding of a mutual friend, and the trip encounters a lot of snags...)

All 3 of the Talia Hibbert Brown Sister's books (ACT YOUR AGE, EVE BROWN -- TAKE A HINT, DANI BROWN, etc) - Each book is about a different sister, all of them posh Black women in London, all of them close to one another, but that's where their similarities end -- each one has her own issues holding her back in one way or another -- each of these romances is STEAMY and full of BANTER and just basically delish.

An older rec so I may have said it before, but: Any Alyssa Cole book - I'd start with A PRINCESS IN THEORY. It's about a girl who keeps getting these spam messages saying something about an African prince and a betrothal, and she's like YEAH RIGHT, DELETE -- but then he shows up on her doorstep. Very "coming to america" vibes, so cute.

BATTLE ROYAL by Lucy Parker - All of Lucy Parker's previous books are set in the world of London theater/acting communities (and I really liked all of them) -- but this new one is set on the set of a Great British Bake-Off style show. The one super uptight "fancy" man judge and the new judge (who was a previous contenstant, specializing in frilly, sparkly bakes) get along like oil and water... *cough*

IT HAPPENED ONE SUMMER by Tessa Bailey - if you liked Schitt's Creek or Northern Exposure kind of vibes - it's about a super-hot party girl (think Alexis in Schitt's Creek) who has effed up one too many times in LA and is relegated to a small fishing village in the pacific northwest. So cute (and hot) - and the companion book, about the party girl's sister, just came out - HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.

And I really liked THE UNHONEYMOONERS by Christina Lauren -- about the maid of honor and groomsman at a wedding who -- when the ENTIRE bridal party and everyone gets horrifically sick at the reception, are the only two left standing. They hate each other -- but the bride insists that they take the amazing, non-refundable honeymoon on the bride and groom's behalf. And they only have to pretend to be married. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?  (Yes, I guess I really like enemies-to-lovers) -- this is the one that got me out of a horrible year-long book slump last year!

Bonus.... Just a couple to round out the list, a couple of legit funny historical romances!

Courtney Milan - HEIRESS EFFECT: All of Milan's books are terrific, but I really love this Brothers Sinister series. In this one, an extremely rich girl who is not marriage-minded does everything possible (short of contracting a contagious disease) to get potential suitors to stay the hell away from her. Witty and fun and oh also I totally ugly-cried at a certain point. I think this will make you want to read ALL the books.

Tessa Dare - ANY DUCHESS WILL DO: All of Dare's books are delightful - most set in the little village of "Spindle Cove" (aka Spinster Cove), a beach community full of ladies who are pretty much off the marriage mart for one reason or another. In this one, a Duke is charged by his mother to get married. She declares she can make any lady into an appropriate Duchess, so he just needs to choose. NOW. So he picks the most inappropriate wench he can find, determined to foil his mother's plan. (Bonus: has a bookselling subplot!) Again - this is just one book in a totally delightful series.

[sixthwater]

🏵️Synastry and: the Friends V🏵️

Exploring more platonic synastry~! Oh my gosh I don't know what to put here and I don't like faking enthusiasm oh my goodneeessss ok let's go

Note: This is using and based off of personal experience, I will be using specific people and referencing them throughout the post

Me & 🌸's placements

☉: Cancer / Cancer ☽: Taurus / Pisces ☿: Cancer / Cancer ♀: Cancer / Leo ♂: Virgo / Taurus

We're the iconic kyoani duo and then this friendship (gif) hits you from your blindside (as well as whatever the hell you call bokuto and kuroo)

See it's funny because that gif actually happened

🌺 Overlays

Me: Sun & Mercury in 9th / 🌸: Sun & Mercury in 5th

Learning to better mingle with their family meets destroying the other in video games. These overlays play out a lot more straight-forward than the previous ones. We tend to delve into deep long topics and get lost within them because we get side tracked Very easily, but they are usually under the broad umbrella of psychology and human empathy and junk like that. Our last conversation was about how we've been affected by certain personal situations within our lives and how 'it's so weird how certain things from our childhood snowball into us being thrust into this caretaker role' and that was a like a 40 minute conversation that took place after we were talking about Dominos Pizza on a bus to New York, and then we immediately changed the topic to bubble tea. On the other hand, I want to better communicate with some of her family members so I wanted to take it upon myself to learn their language. For the 5th house: video games. She kicks my Ass in about nearly all of them, but I still enjoy playing them with her all the time. Besides that, I like going on trips to Aquariums, Museums, etc--because I know we'll have fun no matter where we end up.

Me: Moon in 7th / 🌸: Moon in 1st

Honestly, I have to talk about these two as if they're a combined overlay. This combination is a crutch for the fact that my moon is rarely aspected by her (and if it is she struggling). This is attributing to the fact that we constantly see ourselves in kyoani pairs in particular I believe--because while my previous friend has a red/blue dynamic and we can find ourselves in multiple places, we usually only find ourselves here. It has a lovers feel to it because the 7th creates this rosy feeling that you feel like you can be a little giddy and you've found someone that understands and appreciates you for your 'hidden' qualities (since the dsc has to be uncovered or worked for), whilst the 1st overlay is always in awe of the qualities of whatever planet is there, and said planet will encourage that native to not be so shy or embarrassed of themselves and bring them out more. Examples (🌸 & Me) would be: Kumiko & Reina (Hibike! Euphonium), Tamako & Midori (Tamako's Market), extra note for Bubblegum & Marceline. Bottom line is that this energy gives off couple/honeymoon lover vibes.

Me: Mars in 11th / 🌸: Mars in 3rd

Remember when I said we talk for just like 40 minutes in the weirdest spots about random junk. Yeah. This can send a lot of stimulation and energy towards hobbies and we can energize each other at times. We also share a lot of hobbies, and if we don't we don't mind watching the other person enjoy themselves (for the most part).

**We have an overlay with my venus in her 9th and her venus in my 7th, but it just sort of repeats the energy of having fun and enjoying each other's company and the rose colored glasses blah blah blah

💐 Aspects

Alright so!

My Moon Square 🌸's Venus

Multiple Squares between My Mars & 🌸's Personal Planets

This can lead to some slight tension. I can be too emotionally sensitive and respond too volatile or aggressively, and sometimes my words can stab 🌸 where it hurts. This is a guess however, because we've never had a full blown argument or even really had a tit-for-tat. If anything, we've only gotten under each other's skin by slightly annoying each other by things we've said or just. Generally being annoying. If anything, with my Mars being the one squaring everything, I'm the one more likely to actively respond and the source of that will be because I've felt slighted, and it will be because 🌸 said something hurtful without realizing it.

Besides that our synastry chart is pretty normal. She is heavily water influenced and more emotional whereas I have things to balance it out a little bit more, but my responses to things are a lot more delayed so it looks like I'm blowing up for nothing while she let's herself feel things more healthily (aspects granted).

[necros-writing-stuff]

Could we get wedding HC's with Bailey, Eden and Mason? The sort of ceremony they have, where it is, how intimate it would be, how they wreck PC's insides on their wedding night, the sort of langire they'd like to see their spouse in, who's invited, who's NOT invited, what kind of honeymoon they'd have, how long would it be, etc 😇

I know jack shit about dresses and fancy clothes

NSFW below

Bailey

There's a prenup. No chance in hell they're giving you even the slightest chance of running off with their money in a divorce.

Your idea, and it'll take a long while to get that yes.

Would prefer for you to grab a witness and just elope at the town hall, but you have to make it difficult and want a ceremony.

It's expensive, you know? Flowers alone can cost several thousand.

Whos gonna give you away? Doren? Your English teacher? Well alright then.

Let's you plan, and by letting I mean hovers over your shoulder and makes constant comments that what you're doing is wrong.

Pulls in every favour to cheapen prices.

Expensive ass showy rings, though. The best of the best.

Classic black tux for masc Bailey. Nothing too fancy or boring. He hates how he looks in all white, reminds him of those shitty Vagas weddings you see.

Short sleeved, open back white dress for fem Bailey. Shows off her tattoos nicely.

If you're making a big show out of it, then may as well use it as a publicity stunt.

The orphanage is there - and they're all on their best behaviour. Smile and wave at the lovely people, maybe you'll attract customers so Bailey can make their money back.

Quinn is there, too. Maybe the local news paper. There's a lot of people you don't recognise but Bailey says they're important.

Hires security. Probably knows about people like Whitney or Kylar that might gate-crash and won't let them in.

Acts perfectly charming and like they're enjoying themselves the whole time. They might be enjoying themselves, actually, that smile looks real.

Chokes a little seeing you walk up the isle/walking up themselves. Has to clear their throat and blink a few times to regain composure.

Uses the ready-made vows. Not about to be vulnerable in front of an audience.

Surprisingly soft when they kiss you.

Okay so this is fun. It's a break from work, there's tons of free gifts, you look amazing and the cake is delicious.

The honeymoon has to be short, Bailey can't leave the brats for too long.

A trip out of town, a week or so away with just the two of you. Maybe a spa, with couples massages and hot tubs. And wine.

Regardless of your gender, Bailey wants you in lingere. Wants to unwrap you like a present, watch how the material bunches in their hands as they slide it from your skin.

Will spend so long fingerings you into overstimilation, having you lie across their lap and drool into the bedsheets while they talk dirty in your ear.

Eden

You're already married, what are you talking about?

Oh you mean legally. Right.

Doesn't see the need. Hates that much attention on themselves, doesn't want to be in town, doesn't want anyone at the cabin, doesn't need a piece of paper to say they love you.

Might give into a small ceremony, by the lake, just you, the officiate, and a witness.

But Eden chooses them both, control freak that they are.

Reluctantly goes shopping with you to find your clothes. Does not believe in silly things like not seeing the bride in the dress, so will show you which ones they like and ask you to try them on/watch them do so.

A little self conclusion being dressed up. Would prefer to do it in their own clothes, if only you'd let them.

Gets handsy in the changing room.

Or helps you handmake a dress.

Gathering wild flowers for the bouquet and to add to your hair or theirs.

The day comes and the witness turns out to be Bailey. You ask about it and they'll just shrug and say "Don't really know anyone else."

File away into things to investigate later.

Prepared their own vows actually. They stumble through them, eyes flickering to the ground but it's heartfelt and real. You may end up crying.

Very harsh, possessive kiss. Lasts only a few seconds though, there's people watching.

Thanks Bailey and the officiate before sending them off with the signed papers.

Honeymoons are difficult to have when you live in the forest. Maybe Bailey hooks the two of you up with a hotel, for a price, a chance to relax. A chance to eat so much.

Eden is going to abuse that room service.

Meal after meal they don't have to prepare? And you don't, so they can fuck you till it arrives? This is amazing.

Now picture Eden in one of those massive robes, lounging in a comfy bed, satisfied smile on their face from having a full gut and their spouse at their side.

Does the tearing the garter off with their teeth thing if you're wearing it. Immediately goes down on you when it's off.

Breeding kink turns up to 1000%.

Getting Eden a ring that has a matt black texture to the metal so that light is less likely to reflect from it and spook their prey.

Mason

Oh look a normal person.

Proposes to you, very flustered and scared you'll say no.

Plans the proposal out, has a lovely dinner, takes you for a walk, does it in front of a view.

Cries and hugs you tight when you say yes.

Planning together, going on food testing days, touring venues, finding your perfect rings. Not too expensive, but still pretty.

Tells you all about their family, gossiping about who does what and where to sit people.

Warns you about certain relatives being rather traditional, so if anyone asks you're both virgins.

Even if Mason has ruined you pretty much every day since you've moved in.

Is curious about who you'll invite. Who's going to give you away?

Having to deal with Bailey seems like a bad idea if you need someone to give you away, you should probably choose someone else. Sam? Sam could work. Maybe Darryl, even Charlie.

Leighton is not invited. Whitney is banned. Robin can come. Kylar is also banned.

Doren will be there, maybe River, maybe Winter. Doren is the only one that looks genuinely happy to be there out of the three.

Modest dress for you/them. Again, it's the traditional thing. But it's beautiful all the same.

Won't see you the night before the wedding, but will sit on call with you all night even if their bachelor/hen party tries to pull them away.

Refuses to go to a strip club, goes to a fancy restaurant instead for the bachelor/hen party. Or maybe even laser tag.

Also prepares their own vows. Cries when you/they walk down the Isle.

The kiss is long and accompanied with a bone crushing hug.

A proper honeymoon, takes you someone tropical!

Swimming in the ocean together! Even going scuba diving or in shark cages! Going to theme parks, tanning on the beach. Possibly going to a nude beach, you're in a foreign country, no one would know.

So shy when you both strip out of your clothes on the first night, like it's the very first time again.

Tells you they love you every five seconds, bangs you on every surface, can't walk properly the next day.

You in lingere will send Mason nuts. Especially if you give them a lap dance, they won't be able to stay still.

Also intent on indulging their breeding kink.

[initiala]

Oh hai.

It's not dead or abandoned! Remember how I started this for @cssns​ 2018???? Just, y'know, life happening, and also several global catastrophes. But it turns out that writer's block is really cured by procrastination, which is why I was able to finally figure out some spots I was stuck on while not packing up my apartment to move.

Please enjoy this overly delayed post-wedding fluff and smut.

Also on AO3 and FF.Net

______________

The holidays weren’t really something she paid attention to, not after her parents died. Her mother had loved any excuse to have a party and Emma had grown up with the nondenominational trappings of Christmas in their house, but the tradition had died with Snow and David when she was sixteen. She normally spent the last week of December pulling extra shifts at work, covering for people who had families and wanted the extra time off, and never had a second thought about it. The Pack had their own holidays, particularly around the solstices, but nothing compared to the warm, colorful parties of her childhood -- and frankly, nothing ever would. 

So when their short honeymoon fell over Christmas Eve and Day, Emma didn’t think anything of it. Killian made no indication that he celebrated it, and when they returned home on Boxing Day it was to a chilly apartment without any of the decorations that dotted the windows up and down their street. She turned up the heat a little while Killian took their bags back to the bedroom to be sorted out, and she double-checked the windows were locked tight while turning on a few lights in the living room.

The colorful twinkle outside meshed with the light snowfall in a way that made her heart twist painfully in her chest, a flash of her mother’s laughter ringing in her ears and a brief memory of her father cornering her mother under the mistletoe. Her thumb went to the band on her finger, a lump forming in her throat, and she remembered why she normally worked herself to the bone this time of year.

Work was a distraction from missing them.

“Emma?”

She whipped the curtains shut to put an extra layer between the cold glass and the warming room, between herself and her memories, and turned to face her husband as he came into the room. “Love, what’s wrong?” She shook her head, but his large hand engulfed her own as it went to discreetly wipe at her eyes. “Darling, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten this but I can smell when you’re sad,” he said, his voice soft as he pulled her into his embrace. “We’ve been home five minutes, you can talk to me.”

Fuck, she hated talking about her feelings and her parents and particularly her feelings about her parents. But she’d promised -- she’d vowed -- that she’d be more open and honest with him, and she was fairly sure he wouldn’t be able to get lucky and guess what all of this was about. She hadn’t told him enough about her parents to let him put all of the pieces together. “I just… I miss my parents,” she said softly, and let him hold her as he made a sympathetic noise and murmured soothing things in her ear. “Mom really loved this time of year. She threw the best parties, one year she actually got fairies to make it snow inside and me and the other kids had a snowball fight. She loved the colors and the whole family thing and she really loved the smell of pine trees -- it kind of gave my dad a headache. But we made it work because Dad always said how it put an extra sparkle in Mom’s eye and he loved her enough to put up with it. I normally try to work a lot through this time of year, everyone wants extra time off, but I was kind of hoping this year we could have some new memories to make this time of year less sad. And it helped, it really did, but then I just saw the lights outside and the snow and it just… it hit me a little harder because I’ve been trying so hard not to think about them. So I miss my parents and I’m sorry this time of year is going to suck no matter what and--”

Killian shushed her softly and she realized she was crying as he thumbed the tears from her cheeks. “You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. “If I’d known… well, I don’t know what I would have done. I can’t blindfold you everywhere -- well, I could, but not in the fun way --” He grinned as she swatted him on the chest. “So testy, my love. You don’t have to be sorry about missing your parents. You just need to let me know, so I can comfort you or let you sit and mourn them in peace, or drive you to distraction. And if I need to do so more this time of year, well, let it be my burden to bear. You don’t have to bear this alone, Emma, you can always rely on me.”

And didn’t that just make her get teary all over again? “How the hell do you always know the right thing to say?” she asked, burying her face in his chest.

“Because I’m magic,” he rumbled under her and she pinched his side. “And we’re too alike, you know. Now, what do you need?”

She sniffled and took a breath, taking mental stock. They really needed to unpack and get everything sorted out for laundry, but while that would keep her hands busy her mind would wander and she really didn’t want to keep thinking about the past. But she knew that leaving everything until tomorrow or the next day would bother Killian; she didn’t want to be alone right now, either. “Can we bring the bags back out here and watch TV while we unpack? I know you just put them away but--”

He was already nodding, though, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Whatever you need, love.”

Since he’d been the one to put them away and she was being the emotional asshole, she figured it was only fair that she bring the bags back out. She had no idea how he’d done it all in one trip, not with how narrow the hall was and how much she disliked scuffing her baseboards with the wheels, and surreptitiously eyed them as she made multiple trips back and forth.

No scuffs. “I’m magic,” she mumbled in a sarcastic imitation of her husband’s accent, shaking her head.

Killian had the TV on to the classic movie channel and the unmistakable scent of chocolate lingered in the air. “Dash of cream liqueur, whipped cream, and cinnamon,” he said, handing her a mug as she sat down.

Emma smiled into it, letting the warmth of the drink and the liqueur slide into her belly. “Did I ever tell you Mom’s the reason I like this?”

“Mm, no.”

She watched as he deftly unzipped the largest bag and started sorting through it; she’d done little more than toss everything in without caring about wrinkles, and the whole thing reeked of sex and wine -- they’d had not nearly enough of both over the last few days, but apparently enough to let the scent sink in to all the fabric. A different kind of warmth settled under her skin, but she wasn’t in the mood to act on it just yet. “According to my dad, Mom drank this all the time when she was pregnant with me. Her biggest craving; not that she didn’t like it before, but it was like another level. So then it became our thing, once I was old enough to have some, just sitting together on the couch or in the kitchen or wherever, with our matching cocoa with cinnamon.”

Killian glanced over at her, a glint of mischief in his eyes, and her heart swelled suddenly with reaffirmation of how much she loved him. His bangs fell over his forehead in a way some might call rakish, but when he looked at her like that -- lips quirked up in amusement at his own joke he was about to tell, unable to hide his glee at his own cleverness -- she could only call it boyish. “Sweet tooth before you were even born, eh Swan?”

Maybe not a joke then, but teasing, like they were twelve and he was pulling her tail. “I’m a wolf of taste,” she said loftily, setting her mug aside and pulling up another suitcase to go through. “Unlike some mangy curs around here.”

“Mangy cur?” Emma squeaked as she found herself pinned under him on the floor, his nose brushing against hers and heat flooding her body. His grin promised absolute filth, the hard length of his body pressed against hers deliciously, and the scent of his arousal was enough to make her dizzy. “Didn’t realize we were comparing pedigrees here, princess. Too bad you’re stuck with the mangy cur and not some stuffy purebred.”

“I happen to like the mangy cur,” she whispered, their lips close enough to tease.

“Good,” he growled. “Because he likes you too.”

She moaned into his kiss, which was far gentler than she was expecting, and he let up on her arms enough to allow her the space to embrace him. Her fingers threaded through his hair, then down his back, where she teased the patch of skin revealed by his sweater riding up. “Emma.”

He pulled back and she smiled at how he already looked wrecked. She glanced over his face, refamiliarizing herself with the little details she already had memorized but still loved looking at: the old scar on his cheek, the ginger hairs in his beard, the little freckles and the way his eyebrow seemed to jump up on its own when he got curious about something. He caught her eye with his again and one corner of his mouth ticked up, a sudden shyness in the way his eyes darted around, like he wasn’t sure she was staring at him . “What?”

She shook her head, reaching down and slipping her hands into the back pockets of his jeans, earning a surprised -- and pleased -- noise from him as she pulled him in for a quick kiss. “I just… really love you,” she said when they parted.

His cheeks reddened, but just around his cheekbones, and she loved that she knew that detail about him. If she was further back, she’d be able to see his ears turning the same color, and if she really got to him she’d be able to get his nose to match. She liked the way he could get around her, quiet and unabashedly himself, someone who couldn’t take a compliment seriously and waved off words of praise. It drove her a little crazy, but she’d made her vows to voice her feelings to him and she was going to make good on those vows.

“I love you too,” he said, his nose brushing against hers, and he leaned in to kiss her again.

The laundry could wait.

 ---------------------------------------------------------

“ There she is!” Ruby hollered, ignoring the glares from the other bar patrons.

Emma also ignored the knowing looks on both Ruby and Dorothy’s faces as she shrugged out of her coat. She knew her hair was mussed and she had beard burn on the side of her neck -- Killian had a particular fondness for this dress and the lack of coverage it provided -- and she was definitely late for their night out, but she only felt the slightest hint of guilt over that. Besides, both Ruby and Dorothy knew what it was like to be newly mated, so they could cut her a break. “Hey, thanks for saving me a seat.”

She flagged down a waitress to take her drink order and then grabbed a handful of peanuts. “So… how’s it going?” Ruby asked in a sing-song.

“Babe.” Dorothy elbowed her.

“What? She’s got sex hair and she reeks of it. If that’s her excuse, she’d better dish.”

Emma rolled her eyes, cracking open a shell. “We didn’t have sex, thank you, he just… made it hard to leave.”

“Oh I’ll bet something was hard.”

“Ruby.”

The waitress arrived with Emma’s drink and they ordered one of those mixed appetizers platters to share, as well as another round of drinks. Emma gulped half of her drink after the waitress left again before saying, “I won’t kiss and tell.”

As Ruby made a face, Dorothy reached for her own peanuts. “Some of us appreciate that.”

Emma downed the rest of her gin and tonic; she hadn’t really taken the time to appreciate it, and seeing as how this was a wolf bar the drinks were made to match their metabolisms, but this was the first time she was getting to hang out with her friends since her wedding and she wanted to have fun. Tipsy, ridiculous fun, with no husbands and no responsibilities. Girl time. Catch-up time.

Only, she realized as the conversation started to actually move towards catching up on each other’s lives, she just had stories about Killian.

“Okay, I forbid you to talk about your husband for thirty seconds,” Ruby said, pointing a french fry at her for emphasis. The appetizers had been replaced by entrees, and Emma rolled her eyes as she took an enormous bite of her burger. Fine, she’d just chew instead. “You have to have been doing something other than banging each other silly or going to work.”

Emma took her time with her food, drawing out Ruby’s challenge and taking some small joy in the agitated tick in her friend’s eyebrow. “Well it’s not like you don’t know what I do for work,” she said finally, reaching for the ketchup. “And we’re in a post-holiday lull, so it’s gonna be a bit before things get interesting.”

“One of us has got to get a different job,” Ruby declared, while her mate rolled her eyes indulgently.

Emma didn’t bother to respond, instead flagging down the waitress for another G & T. There was definitely a happy buzz going on under her skin and she wanted it to continue; the burger would only dull the effects before too long.

“Bitch on the prowl, ten o’clock,” Dorothy said suddenly, looking towards the door.

Emma and Ruby turned to look, with what felt like most of the bar’s patrons and staff following their lead. A woman she didn’t recognize was taking off her coat, revealing a dress that would send normal humans rushing to her side in an instant; here, it only added to the allure of her scent. She was obviously in heat, unattached, and looking to rectify the situation.

Already two men were walking towards her, jostling one another to make her acquaintance first; Emma just looked back to her tablemates with a look of resignation. “They’re not wasting any time,” she said.

“Neither is she; she must be the first one of the season,” Dorothy said, watching the situation near the door with mild interest.

“Just glad it isn’t me this time.”

“If there wasn’t any concern about like, us not being turned into a science freak show, I would absolutely watch our version of a trash dating show.”

“Babe, we have too many seasons of Love Island on the to-watch list as it is,” Ruby said.

“Correction, we don’t have enough seasons of Love Island on the to-watch list.”

Emma glanced back at the display happening on the other side of the bar, letting the sound of her friends teasing each other blend into the rest of the noise. This woman was definitely taking no prisoners, making eye contact with one of the men while her hand rested almost possessively on the arm of the other, her lips spread into a wide smile. Hell, she was charmed by this kind of display, especially when the woman demurely glanced at the second man under her lashes for a moment. Maybe Dorothy was right about a dating show… She watched as the woman laughed at something one of the men said, throwing her head back to give everyone a good look -- and smell -- at her neck, and Emma found herself dazedly wondering when she might be able to slip away back home and ravish her husband.

“Oh no, we’ve lost her.”

“Pheromones side effect, tragic really.”

She blinked back to attention. “What?”

Ruby looked annoyed, but Dorothy at least seemed sympathetic. “She’s still in the honeymoon phase, babe, it’s gonna be a while before everything settles down. The coming season doesn’t help.”

“Okay, you can stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Emma snapped. Her drink had been refreshed without her notice and she downed it. “I get it, I’m sorry, I’ll shut up about Killian and whatever.”

Ruby started to respond, but Dorothy silenced her with a look. Whatever silent argument they had, Ruby lost and she huffed as she went back to her meal. The reaction stung -- it’s not like Emma hadn’t sat through hours of Ruby pining and then gushing over her own mate, she could stand being the recipient for a while -- but Emma felt it wasn’t worth it to argue and ruin the evening by just turning it into a fight.

Eventually, they started talking again, Ruby breaking first with some pack gossip. The night never got to the raucous levels any of them might have hoped it could get to, but was overall a nice time and Emma even forgot about getting her feelings hurt. It felt good to get out of the house for a while with friends -- but when someone wolf-whistled as the woman in heat from earlier waltzed out with an entirely different man clutched possessively at her side, Emma thought it might be even better to get back home to her mate.

Even short periods of absence seemed to make the heart grow fonder.

 --------------------------------------------

As the new year rolled through to its second month, Emma and Killian quietly celebrated the one-year anniversary of their meeting, marveling at how much had changed in just a year. Killian noticed that Emma seemed to greet each day with increasing wariness, and his own awareness of the mating season coming into bloom turned into some kind of insatiable itch under his skin.

He’d never participated in mating season before meeting Emma. He’d been soured from pursuing any sort of relationship after the disastrous affair with Milah, and even when he’d been half underwater with alcohol he’d decided he’d never again get snared by any she-wolf’s trap. And to his embittered mind, mating season was just another trap, luring men into siring pups or trying to turn a one-night tryst into a long-term commitment. Even after he’d sobered up and straightened himself out, he’d still felt the sting of rejection in his phantom limb and did his best to stay occupied and aloof in spring.

Until Emma.

He’d known from the start that she was different, that chance encounter with her packmates. She had fire, and the way she’d immediately come at him on the offense had piqued his interest immediately. Then the wind had shifted and he’d immediately known what the source of the problem with her packmates had been, the full-blown scent of a bitch in heat burrowing down to awaken his most basic instincts. He’d done his best to remain a gentleman and let her walk away, as she’d clearly had no interest in acting on her own hormones, and once her scent faded on the wind he’d walked away as fast as he could without rousing anyone’s suspicion. He’d thought that was the end of it, until a chance meeting at a bar led to a delightful night of conversation and drinks…

And the most wonderful, passionate woman he’d ever had the pleasure to offer himself up to the next day.

Poor love had been so miserable when he’d come to see if his magical hangover remedy worked for her that he’d hardly reacted to the overwhelming bouquet of Emma in heat. He’d acted immediately to try and rectify the errors in her spice cabinet, mixing his potion and letting her recover. And as he tidied up the mess he’d made, it became increasingly hard (in many senses of the phrase) to ignore the fact that he was absolutely surrounded by pheromones and the obvious lingering scent of everything she’d done to relieve herself of the ache over the last several days. And when she’d emerged from her blanket nest again and stood there with only a shirt and her knickers and legs that went on for miles and giving him every last chance to run before they’d do something they’d regret?

He’d never wanted someone more in his entire life, mating season or not.

It wasn’t long after he returned home, he realized that long weekend in her bed (and her shower and her kitchen… and one particularly enjoyable occasion with her back pressed to the window and the lights in the living room turned off to keep the outside world in the dark to their activities) would never be enough for him. Liam accused him of moping, his friends thought he needed to get out and meet someone new to get Emma out of his system.

Looking up now, watching her enter the room shyly and holding out a simple padded envelope, he knew just as well now as he’d known then: he could never get her out of his system, even if he tried.

“What’s this, love?” he asked, accepting the envelope from her as she settled in the crook of his arm.

“Early valentine’s present,” she said simply.

They had a reservation at a restaurant that day, so he was a little confused as to why she didn’t want to simply wait until then. “Any particular reason why this is an early gift?”

Her scent changed, a little surge of arousal, and amusement laced her voice, “I kind of figured it was safer to give these to you in private.”

Well now he was intrigued. “Very well then, thank you and I accept.”

Reaching into the envelope, he felt photos -- a stack of actual printed, glossy photographs. He glanced down at his wife -- fuck, he’d never be over that, his wife -- and watched her chew her bottom lip nervously as he pulled the photos out. 

Each photo featured Emma in some way, posed and primping and perfect in all her glory. These weren’t amateur photos by any means, and even her hair and make-up looked like someone else had done the job -- not that Emma did poorly at her own appearance, but she wasn’t one to add such accentuation to her eyes to give them that smoky effect. Killian swallowed hard as he went through each photo, his heart thumping especially loud in his ears: Emma looking directly at the camera in some sort of modernized glamour shot; Emma from behind, shot from the waist up, looking coyly over her shoulder as she slipped a shirt -- was that one of his? -- down her arms to expose her back beneath a wave of blond curls; Emma laid out on dark satin, her hair spilled around her like a halo, wearing what was definitely one of his button-downs and nothing else from the way she gripped it closed. “Emma, how did you--” his throat felt nearly as tight as his pants as he paused at the next photo, her eyes downcast as she lay on her stomach, the curve of her breast visible in the opening of his shirt.

“I am people who know people,” she said simply.

On and on it went, all of them sensual or titillating without pushing the envelope enough to qualify as lewd, until the last one: she reclined on her side, propped up on her elbow, on a pelt that matched her own. Completely bare, her back faced the camera, her hair spilling down her shoulders as she looked to the side, not quite looking over her shoulder but enough to give the viewer a look at her demure profile in an otherwise completely shameless photograph.

“Jesus Christ, Emma…”

She rested her head against his shoulder, by all appearances merely a content wife who was pleased her husband liked her gift, rather than the mischievous seductress she truly was. Minx. “You like them?” she asked.

“Very much. And may I add, excellent call on a private viewing,” he murmured, nosing her hair. “Had anyone else even glimpsed these, I would have had to rip their throats out with my teeth.”

She hummed and he grinned as her scent flared. “The whole murderous, possessive alpha male thing shouldn’t be such a turn on,” she commented, and squeaked as he hauled her up in his lap.

Placing the photos on her lap, he tapped the last one with one finger. “This one should be blown up and professionally framed, I might hang it up in my office. Your arse is a work of art, love.”

“It is,” Emma agreed, “but wouldn’t that go against the whole ‘if anyone else saw these I’d kill them in cold blood’ thing?”

He tweaked her nose; she really was a terrible mimic of his accent. She always made him sound like a Mancunian somehow. “I didn’t say it had to be the main office, and while I admit that intimidating any potential contractors to a better profit turnover would be better, I can’t say I’d be able to get much work done with such a distraction.”

“And it being in your home office would do any better?”

“Well,” Killian said, drawling on the l’s, “for one thing, I wouldn’t have to travel far to take care of any, ah, problems that might arise from a viewing.” Emma snorted, no doubt feeling exactly the sort of problem he spoke of pressed against her bottom. “Though why would I need to look at this if I have the real thing waiting for me?”

“Who says I’ll be laying in wait for you?” she asked, poking his chest. “If our history says anything, I’m the one who pounces on you the moment you walk through the door.”

“Or sooner.”

“Or sooner,” she said. Looping her arms around his neck, she tilted her head. “You really like them?”

He opened his mouth, prepared to remind her that he’d already answered that, but then he noticed the slight furrow of her brow, the nearly invisible downturn of her lips, her wide eyes flicking between his as she tried to read his expression. Killian softened, in several ways, remembering how difficult she found it to be vulnerable; he suspected the act of posing and taking the photographs had been easy -- Emma was a beautiful, confident woman and she knew it -- but now came the hard part: seeking approval. “I love them,” he told her seriously, tightening his hold around her. “A pale substitute for the real thing, but this on my desk,” he flitted through the photos to the glamor shot, “will remind me of the gorgeous woman I have waiting for me at home. And get me through the long , hard days when we don’t see one another.”

She gave him an overly patient look at where he’d emphasized his speech. He leaned down and kissed away the wrinkle between her brows, breathing her in. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone such as you, my darling, but I’m grateful every day to whatever thread of fate drew us together.”

Her breath hitched and her arms tightened around him. She shifted, tilting her head up to kiss him; the intensity of it nearly overwhelmed him, telling him without words how much she loved him and appreciated what he’d said. He felt her fingers in his hair, grazing the sides of his face and neck, her lips moving against his with a hunger he recognized well. “Let’s move these,” he rasped, doing his best not to just throw the pictures all over the floor, “before we make a mess of them.”

Killian gladly let Emma take control then, pushing him flat on his back on the couch and straddling him. “Show me what you really think,” she said, and whipped her sweater over her head, the offending garment falling almost protectively over the stack of photographs on the floor.

 ------------------------------------------------------

The dream started the way it always did: she was sixteen again and her body wasn’t cooperating as she tried to climb the height to the challenge grounds. Most of this was pulled from memory, the sounds of her mother and Regina fighting, the bitter cold, the tang of blood on the wind, but while the stones under her were covered in ice and snow, she’d been able to climb with only a little trouble. She’d been more worried about what she’d find than making sure her feet were going in the right place.

In the dream, though, it was like moving through molasses. Images came in flashes -- her mother lunging and scoring a blow on Regina’s side, Regina’s snarl and the moonlight glinting off the ceremonial silver knives, her father bleeding to death on the ground. Her voice stuck in her throat as she tried to scream for help, like her mouth was sewn shut.

She was helpless to stop what was happening; she always had been, and even in a dream she couldn’t change the reality that her parents had been murdered in front of her.

But for the first time she was able to get to the top, only to find Regina fighting Killian instead of Snow. He had no knife, no weapon at all, swinging wildly with his fist and kicking where he could, but Regina seemed to have the upper hand as she dodged his every move. It looked like she was completely fine with letting him tire himself out first before she had to do anything; Emma tried to scream, tried to get them to stop -- why would Killian be fighting Regina? -- but her mouth wouldn’t work.

Killian lunged and Regina dodged with ease, moving on the offense for the first time as she slammed her elbow into his back. He fell with a cry and suddenly a rifle was in her hands. A crack sounded in the frozen night and then Killian lay still on the ground.

Her body moved, freed from whatever had trapped her in place. Regina was gone, and Emma flung herself at her mate’s form. He lay sprawled on his stomach, a dark, wet patch spreading across his back in the same place where he’d been shot last fall. She packed snow against the wound, an animal cry ripping from her throat in a desperate plea for help. She turned him over, trying to see if he was conscious, but he was white as death and as cold as if he’d lain there for hours instead of moments --

Emma woke, a scream stuck in her mouth as she fought to get the blankets that were tangled around her and constricting her movements off. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tumbled to the floor; the solid impact shook off the confusion between dreams and reality, but it couldn’t get the image of Killian bleeding out in the snow out of her mind. She curled in on herself as her mind blended it with the same sight of her parents that she’d relived over and over again for more than a decade, her chest aching as she tried to stifle her sobs.

It was late, but she hadn’t gone to bed as Killian had still been at work. She’d dozed off on the couch, something she hadn’t done in a long time—in the last few months, the combination of Alice’s crystal magic and the ever-present scent and feel of their mating bond in the bedroom had helped ease both of their night terrors. Their den represented safety and security, giving them peace of mind to rest easily.

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep.

Emma took deep breaths, trying to calm down. She reached for where she’d left her phone, using the hem of her shirt to scrub her face dry with her other hand, and checked to see if there were any messages. A few warm tears leaked out still, even as she checked the time and noted that Killian had texted not long ago to let her know he was on his way home.

As if on cue, the sound of keys in the hall reached her ears, and a moment later they scratched at the lock and then the door opened. “Sorry I’m so late, darling, I—what happened?”

He was at her side in an instant, gathering her into his arms. She lay her head against his shoulder gratefully. “Bad dreams, it’s nothing.”

“Sweetling, the fear-scent hit me full in the face when I came in, it’s not nothing.”

His heartbeat under her ear soothed her, some of the lingering tension in her shoulders easing with the steady thrumming. Her arms went around him and his hold tightened, just a little, as if he could protect her from her own demons just by holding on tight.

She wished he could.

“Bad dreams,” she said again, clearing her throat after her voice came out thick. “A lot of the same, mixed up together in a shitty new brain cocktail I didn’t order.”

He knew about the recurring dream with her parents, and the newer ones from the incident in the fall, so it wouldn’t be hard for him to put together what she meant. He kissed the side of her head. “I’m sorry, darling. Why didn’t you just go to bed?”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here. I was waiting for you to get home and just nodded off.” Her book, forgotten until now, lay face-down on the floor, pages bunched up and wrinkled now from when it had fallen from her lap in sleep. “If I’d known you were staying that late I would have just gone to bed.”

Killian sighed. “I’m sorry. I was working on a contract and needed feedback from the overseas partner; it’s morning in Singapore so I knew I could get prompt replies. I should have said something earlier.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, but I still feel terrible.” He kissed her again and stood, bringing her up with him. “Come on, let’s have a nightcap and you can tell me how to make it better.”

She smiled wanly. “I just need you. That’s all I need to make it better.”

Emma allowed him to lead her to the kitchen. “You have me, Swan, you know that. You’ll always have me.”

 -------------------------------------------------------

She woke slowly to the gentle, teasing press of lips against her own. There was a murmur in the back of her mind that sounded like ‘ wake up, darling ’ and she had the bewildering sensation of being in two places at once before a finger brushed against her neck and arousal surged through her body. Instantly she felt more alert, kissing Killian back with newly awakened vigor, and he groaned as she pushed him back, reversing their positions so she lay atop him. “Cheater,” she accused, only allowing them a moment to breathe before coming together again. 

He stroked her mate-mark once more and the swell of arousal almost hurt; she clenched her thighs together, trying to ease the ache that lay between them, but Killian’s hand moved down, coaxing them apart to tease his fingers between her folds. “So wet for me,” he murmured.

“Yeah, I wonder why,” she said, biting her lip at the feel of his fingers on her flesh, the warmth pulsing through her body, the sparks of pleasure with every stroke. He ducked down, pressing his lips against her neck and she whimpered at the touch, feeling like she was melting into putty in his arms. “ Tease .”

“I’m a cheater, a tease,” he murmured against her skin, punctuating each word with another kiss. “What’s next? Scoundrel ?”

She cried out as his fingers thrust home, filling her with that delicious stretch she craved. She could feel him moving his fingers inside, teasing her further, and she didn’t know how she wasn’t just soaking his hand with how turned on she was right then. With each thrust of his fingers, he seemed to lift her up and it took her far too long to realize it was a combination of his own urging and her unconscious compliance as she rose up above him. She threw one leg over his waist and felt the head of his cock bump against her thigh; Killian withdrew his fingers and she looked down to watch him rub her juices off his fingers onto his cock as he took it in hand, quickly positioning himself in place for her to sink down on top of him. "Oh fuck me," he moaned as she began to move, her lips finding his mate-mark.

His fingers dug into her hip as she rode him, skin slapping as she chased her pleasure. The combination of their teasing each other’s mate-marks was driving her nearly insane with lust -- she barely noticed when she peaked, the need for more clawing its way through her veins. Killian protested when she lifted herself off him, but he seemed to pick up on the general plan when she turned and got on her hands and knees.

She gasped, sharp and shallow as he pushed in again, her hand grabbing a fistful of blanket for purchase. He felt so much bigger this way— always had since the way he’d taken her that first time. "If we're going to do this like animals, might as well look the part,” he’d said then, and she certainly felt like an animal now as she pushed back onto him in earnest, back arching and throat rough as she keened, pleading for more.

“Greedy girl,” Killian panted through grit teeth, his hips slamming against hers as she cried out. “Drenching my cock, begging for it.”

“ You woke me up,” she retorted, gasping again as he hit a good spot. “There--do that again, fuck .” His hand found her hip again, nails stinging into her skin just enough to pull a groan out of her. Again, he snapped his hips forward, but it’s less frenzied than before, sharper, calculated, and the breath that punched out of her lungs at the next thrust felt laced with fire. She turned to look at him over her shoulder, felt her heart stutter at the way his mark stood out dark against the morning light.

She slipped against the sheet, nearly buckling, but his hand was there before she could, sliding up the length of her torso to curl his fingers around her shoulder. Too-fast, she found herself surrounded by him, his weight half-draped on top of her as he pulled her flush against him and oh, oh . Fuck tumbled out of her again as she twisted to claim a rough kiss. Distracted, his hips slowed at the contact, but she pushed back again with a roll of her hips.

The hand on her shoulder urged her down, his weight shifting off her back as he reared back and her head pressed against the mattress. The angle was just right, a keen tearing from her throat as he resumed speed, driving into her hard and fast and -- “ Fuck, Killian! ”

His hand slipped under her, between her legs, found their way to her overstimulated clit and teased, drawing circles around it and pressing--

Killian’s phone started to vibrate on the nightstand. Emma felt her orgasm slip beyond reach for the moment, her concentration broken, and she groaned in frustration. She didn’t even know what time it was, but it had to be too early for anything but an emergency. “Killian, you should see who that was,” she mumbled, her head shifting against the mattress as he pounded into her.

Her husband snarled and that sent a little thrill down her spine, reigniting what had been lost. “Whoever it is should fucking know better than to call when I’m balls deep in my wife.”

She had no idea how to articulate how absurd that was, but he moved his hand again and squeezed her breast, leaving wet streaks of her own arousal along her skin and her core clenched around him in anticipation. He exhaled sharply, another little growl escaping him, and she pushed back against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. She felt his fingers move along her skin, dancing up her back and nails scratching just enough to leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake, until they found her mate-mark once more and started tracing around it, lightly circling, pressing just enough--

She saw stars. Burst of color behind squeezed eyelids and an impossible wave of pleasure crashing through her, her legs feeling numb and buckling under her as he rode her through her orgasm until she heard a grunt signaling his own. She slid weakly down onto her stomach, her skin still tingling and her core still shuddering, dragging air into her lungs as fast as she could to try and calm her racing heart. She felt the bed shift behind her, heard Killian’s heavy breathing, then felt him settle between her legs. Before she could fully understand what was happening, she felt his nose brush the sensitive seam of her ass, and then dip lower as his tongue found her dripping, abused, and still fucking aroused cunt. “ Jesus --”

Emma tried to push herself up on her elbows, tried to army-crawl up the bed and away from her insatiable husband’s questing tongue, but he satisfied himself with only a few laps before pulling away. She twisted, flushed and glaring at the smug grin on his face. “Who’s greedy now?” she asked.

“I do love the taste of us together,” he admitted, righting himself and settling back on the pillows.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes and summoned all of her strength to get up and go clean herself. Wobbly as it was, she managed the trip to the bathroom and even brought him a washcloth to clean himself up before giving her weary legs a rest and laying next to him. The heady feeling of arousal still burned inside, though more like a smoldering ember pile than the full-on inferno he’d worked her into before, but she pushed it away; she wasn’t in heat yet and her body had limits.

For now.

“So what was that for?” Emma asked.

“Do I need a reason to wake my wife and lavish her with my attentions?” She poked him in the ribs, a particularly ticklish spot, and he squirmed. “Cut it out,” Killian said, giggling. “Your smell woke me.”

She raised an eyebrow. “My smell?” she asked, her voice flat. “You know, from anyone else those might be fighting words.”

He took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips. “And far be it from me to challenge you, darling. No, I believe it may be close to time, your scent has… shifted somewhat.”

Emma let her head fall back with a groan. Motherfucker. Well, it was to be expected; it’s the normal time for her to go into heat, it was just… the worst. Though, having a mate would make it exponentially easier than previous years; she had that to look forward to, at least. She just hated being completely ruled by her hormones, hated having so little control over her own body. And of course Killian would be the first to pick up on it, of course he’d know her so well that he’d pick up on even the slightest change in her scent. Idly, she wondered if he could tell because he’d smelled her in full-blown heat before, but in truth she believed he’d know any changes in her body and her scent almost before she did.

Puts the kibosh on any cutesy surprise things whenever we get around to having pups , she thought wryly.

“Judging by your enthusiastic response, you’re still unhappy about the prospect,” Killian remarked.

She sighed. “It’s not that. I love nothing more than using you as my personal sex toy, I just… hate everything else about it.”

“We could try a last-minute honeymoon,” he suggested. “We did talk about going somewhere this spring.”

“It’ll be wicked expensive, not to mention both of our bosses would kill us for leaving so last minute. And don’t even try to tell me Liam would be understanding, he’d find something to harp at you about.”

“Technically I’m my own boss.”

“Yes, but what captain leaves the helm to go fuck his wife silly for a week?”

His teeth flash in a grin that sends a shiver down her spine. “I’m sure plenty do, particularly when the captain’s wife is as beautiful and alluring as you. And I do have minions to keep things running, you know I don’t do everything right?”

“You have to stop calling your officers ‘minions’.”

“I pay their salaries, I can call them what I like. Besides, which is less of a mouthful, Chief Operating Officer or minion?”

“Coming from the man who takes an hour to tell a five minute story.”

His grin widened. “One of the many charms you love about me.” She rolled her eyes and the bed shifted as Killian reached for his phone, which pinged a reminder that he had a missed call and a voicemail. “Though I could have reason for it, seeing as how one of them called at a most inopportune time.”

Emma worried her lip between her teeth as he listened to the message, the tinny voice reaching her ears perfectly as questions even she knew could have waited a few hours were relayed. If he was right, and it was reasonable to assume he was, then it would be easier to just combine the honeymoon and her week in heat. It was extremely annoying that there wasn’t any way to really tell when her body would go into heat, outside of paying attention to signs like any subtle changes in scent, and they couldn’t have planned this ages in advance. The thought of paying all the last minute booking fees made her skin crawl, but she also knew he wouldn’t suggest such a thing if it wasn’t feasible.

Marrying up a couple of tax brackets was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Killian tossed his phone back on the bedside table, muttering darkly to himself, and she settled against him again. “How about this,” she started, “we take today to make sure a quick getaway isn’t going to be a problem, and then go in a couple of weeks? I don’t think it’s going to happen in the next few days and we need some time to get our shit together.”

“Eloquent as always, Swan,” he said. “And the full moon is next week, so we should schedule around that as well.”

Remembering that gave her another sense of relief: for some reason, it wasn’t common for their kind to go into heat the week of the full moon. Some did, but it was extremely rare, and always led to complications with the litter. She thought it might have something to do with how her monthly shifting stopped when she’d been pregnant before, nature realizing that changing forms while pregnant wasn’t good for the mother or the fetus, but it wasn’t like there was anyone she could ask about that. Again, something else that the more scientific-minded of their community were studying, but it was difficult.

And it wasn’t like there was The Scientific Werewolf Monthly to publish any of that research.

Maybe there should be.

“Well, that settles that,” she said, her mood buoyed by the lunar calendar. “We’ll go in a couple of weeks. Plunk me on a beach somewhere that’s not Boston in winter and I’ll be set.”

Killian’s expression was a thrilling mix of joy and sin. “Then I’d better make sure it’s a private beach, because I have no plans of letting you wear anything more than a bikini the whole time we’re gone,” he said, shifting to loom over her as he spoke, the last words breathed against her lips before he caught hers up in another kiss.

 ----------------------------------------------------

The wave of pleasure that had been building inside finally crashed over her, sending ripples up to the top of her head and down to the tips of her toes. She sighed, sated for the time being and pushed away the latest of her spent toys, reclining back on the silk maroon sheets to watch as he took his leave from her bed. They all knew the drill, the men lurking in wait for her summons; she hated for them to linger, but she did indulge in the view as they stumbled away from her room.

For now, though, Regina was tired. That was the third one today, and it was barely noon on the first morning of her heat. She rolled her head on her neck, as much as she was able, joints cracking and muscles stretching. She wasn’t a young pup anymore, as difficult as it was to admit some days, so while being ravished three times by three different, handsome young things in one morning certainly sounded like an ideal way to spend one’s time, it was proving to take a toll on her.

She didn’t like to think too much about what that would mean.

She didn’t care for the reminders, the lines at the corners of her eyes getting a little deeper if she looked too long, the silver strands she kept carefully colored, and now her body tiring a little sooner than it had the year before.

Any slip might give rise to rumors, and rumors often lead to those same men lurking downstairs foolish ideas about power.

No, for now she would rest a bit, take lunch, and assess what else she could do to keep her hand on their leashes until just the right moment.

Her phone rang midway through lunch. Annoyed, Regina answered in her usual, clipped way. “This had better be important.”

- She’s leaving town for a week, her and that British wolf of hers. My sources say it’s probably their honeymoon, but we have to remember the season. If she comes back pupped-- -

“I can make my own conclusions, thank you Sidney,” she snapped, her mood darkening. “Keep tabs on them if you can, and the Nolans. We may have to move faster than anticipated.”

She hung up before he could agree to anything -- it didn’t matter, he didn’t have to agree. He just had to follow orders.

She sat still for a moment, staring at her plate, then moved suddenly, throwing her tablet against the wall. The news that Emma Swan, previous heir apparent to the pack she now ruled, had taken another mate after all the work she’d done to destroy that last relationship had sent her into a rage that kept her people on their toes for weeks. She didn’t need any reason to allow support of any kind for that little bitch to rise, and a newly mated pair with a fresh litter on the way would definitely give reason for people to remember and feel sympathy for the girl. To start rumors or petitions to restore her place.

To revolt.

She’d put in too much work expanding, improving, and keeping her pack in line to let the memory of the old alphas resurface.

Snarling, Regina got to her feet. Rage mixed with arousal, the need to take control of something overpowering anything else, and she pressed the intercom that would summon another one of her playthings to the bedroom.

She hoped he had stamina, though she didn’t quite care if she ended up breaking him in the end. He was easily replaced, just as all the others were.

She was in control here. Not them. Not any of the hotheads she dealt with on a regular basis.

And never, never Emma Swan.

[everlarkficexchange]

The Barrier

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 77: Married Everlark are coworkers and their marriage is on the rocks. They’ve been sleeping in separate rooms. Divorce looks inevitable. On a business trip, there is *dramatic pause* only one bed. Does the forced closeness lead them to really talk for the first time in months or does it drive them further apart? Smut not required. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Ratings/Warnings: M; allusions to infertility, divorce, self-loathing

  “What do you mean there’s only one bed?” Katniss hissed at her husband. “We were supposed to have our own rooms, and now you’re telling me we have to share a bed? Did you do this on purpose?”

Peeta glared at her, fury flaring in his blue eyes. If she weren’t so furious herself, she’d push a little harder, but the flint-like nature of his glower convinced her that she needed to steer clear, if only by shutting her mouth once she’d voiced her opinions.

“What kind of idiot do you think I am?” he practically spat at her. “It’s not like I want to spend time with you. I get enough of that at home.”

“A big one.”

“A big one, what?”

“You asked what kind of idiot I think you are. I think you’re a big idiot.”

“Enjoy sleeping on the street,” he said with unnatural calm and turned sharply on his heel. He’d only taken three steps before she crumbled. She had no interest in sharing a bed or a room with the man she’d married a decade ago, but she definitely didn’t have any desire to sleep in the hotel lobby, or worse.

“Oh, come on!” She called after him and hurried to catch up before he made it to the elevator. “You’re not going to leave me hanging. We’re here for work, and neither of us can afford a bad performance review this year.”

“It’d be worth it,” he groused.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Peeta stood to the side so those inside the elevator could clear out and then stepped into the box with his suitcase. He punched the button for their floor and leaned against the wall without bothering to glance her way as she struggled to get inside with her bag.

“Can we not?” he asked tiredly. “You can yell at me all you want in the hotel room, but it’s unseemly in public.”

“Unseemly?” She almost said more, but bit the inside of her cheek instead. She could wait until they reached their room to see how bad the situation was going to be before she said anything else. This whole thing probably wasn’t fair in any way, but she couldn’t help but feel like this was somehow all his fault.

The elevator ride concluded in silence, as did the walk from the elevator to their room. Peeta fiddled with the lock for a full minute and cursed as the red light flashed several times before finally figuring out how it worked and popping the door open to allow them to enter. He flipped on the lights as he entered, and she almost smiled at the familiarity of him scanning the corners for someone hiding in the shadows. He’d started that habit on their honeymoon when they’d not bothered to look before going at it against the door as soon as they closed it behind them. An errant cleaning lady who’d only been dropping off extra towels and pillows had gotten quite a show, very likely one she’d had absolutely no interest in viewing.

The honeymoon was a long, long time ago. So long, in fact, that Katniss wasn’t even sure if she even liked her husband anymore, let alone loved him. They hadn’t been intimate in forever, it seemed, and she hadn’t missed it at all. Well, that wasn’t true. She did miss it. She just wasn’t interested in doing anything with him. All the sexual tension, passion, and lust that had existed between them had simply dried up as real life got in the way. They’d taken out their frustrations and irritations on each other instead of looking for comfort in the other’s arms.

“Do you want to use the bathroom first?” Peeta asked as he set his bag on the edge of the bed and unzipped it.

“First, yes. If it’s okay with you.”

“I don’t care. Knock yourself out.”

He turned his back on her and stripped off his tie before unbuttoning his shirt. He got it over his shoulders and was working on his belt before she shook herself out of her daze and closed the door to the bathroom behind her. Taking her time, she showered and re-braided her hair before brushing her teeth and applying moisturizer. She was just about to pluck her eyebrows when a pounding sounded on the door.

“Can you hurry it up? I’d like to go to sleep sometime tonight.”

Irritated, she jammed her beauty products back in her toiletry bag and ripped open the door. Haughtily, she glared at him and swept by to head to the bed. When she saw what he’d done, she froze.

“What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“Why are all these pillows in the middle of the bed?”

“They’re making a barrier.”

“Yes, I can see that, jackass. Why is there a barrier of pillows in the middle of the bed?”

“To separate us.”

“But you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“Why the hell would I sleep on the floor?”

“Because we’re not sharing a bed right now. We don’t even sleep in the same room at home anymore. Why would you think we’d do that here?”

Peeta gaped at her, completely dumbstruck. It took a while for him to put words together, but when he did, she wanted to smack him.

“Katniss, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to sleep on the floor of a hotel just because you decided you don’t want to be married to me anymore. I’ve tried to be understanding, but this is bullshit. I’m not a puppy you can kick.” Peeta shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed and his lips together. She knew that expression because it was one he’d shown much too often in the past several months. That was the look he made when he was about to lose his temper. “Now, I’m going to shower. If you have shit to do, I’d suggest taking care of it while I’m in there because I’m tired, and I’m going to sleep once I’m done.”

She waited until he’d closed the door to the bathroom before ripping the pillows off the middle of the bed. Hell if she was going to sleep in the same bed with him. He’d made a mistake to leave her alone if he thought that was going to happen. She piled the pillows back up against the headboard and then climbed into bed. Once she was directly in the middle, she pulled the covers over herself, set an alarm, and turned off the lights. If she tried, she might actually be asleep before he came back out, and then he’d have to take the floor. They’d barely seen each other in the past few weeks, let alone touched. She certainly didn’t want to start that the night before a big meeting.

It felt like she’d hardly closed her eyes when Peeta exited the bathroom and walked over to the bed. Smirking to herself, she rejoiced in her petty victory. Except… The mattress dipped under her, and she jumped as her husband climbed in behind her. With a shriek, she sprang from the bed and stood clutching the sheets in front of her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Indignant, she wanted to smack his face. His eyes shone wide and blue with faux innocence that quickly shifted to a self-satisfied sneer.

“I’m going to bed. I told you that before I went into the bathroom. Really, Katniss. You should pay closer attention when I tell you what I’m planning. Someone might think you don’t listen. Not very good for a relationship, you know.”

“I was there!”

“And I put up a barrier, which you demolished. Seemed like an invitation.”

“You are such an asshole,” she sputtered. “Get out the bed.”

“And you’re being a total bitch. Get back in bed, and we’ll stick the pillows back between us. I’m not sleeping on the goddamn floor because you’re too stubborn to actually talk about what’s wrong between us.”

“I’m not sleeping in the bed with you!”

“Then, have fun on the floor.”

Infuriated, she fumed at him with a slack mouth and a hollowed out chest. He knew exactly what to say to hurt her, and maybe that was the problem. He knew her too well, knew all her vulnerabilities and insecurities and disappointments. Because of that, she could hardly look him in the face. If she did, she’d have to admit all the flaws she had, and if she did that, he’d know the same way she does that she doesn’t deserve him. Not in a million lifetimes.

Gutted, she ducked her head as tears pricked at her eyes. He reached for her, but she flinched away from him. She couldn’t handle his compassion, which he offered even when they were at their worst.

“Don’t touch me,” she ordered as strongly as she could, which was a pathetic attempt at regaining control. “Don’t touch me. Just put the pillows back. Please.”

He nodded, and it was almost her undoing. Turning her back, she waited until the rustling stopped before climbing back under the covers and settling on her side. The silence was louder than any noise she’d ever heard. It was matched only by the rush of blood in her ears. She stifled a sob and squeezed her eyes closed as tightly as she could. It wasn’t until she was almost asleep that she heard him.

“Goodnight, Katniss.”

She didn’t bother to answer.

****

Katniss woke to a streak of sunlight on her face and a warm fuzzy feeling that stretched from the pit of her stomach to the tips of her fingers and toes. Safe and warm, she nuzzled into the pillow, only to realize it was hard muscle covered in soft cotton, and there was something stiff poking into her thigh.

She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to risk losing the feeling of being loved and protected and cherished. There’s been so little of that in her life. Since her father died, the only person outside of her family who loved her was Peeta. Peeta Mellark, her childhood sweetheart turned fiancé who became her husband way too young, loved her. Maybe he still did, but it was hard to cling to the possibility. More likely, he wanted a divorce. She’d probably face the rest of her life alone.

She closed her eyes and floated in the sensation of being cared for by someone who didn’t have to want her. The press of muscular thighs and cut hips and…hell, she wanted that. She needed it. Desperate, she ground against the thick shaft and moaned low in her throat. It was matched by one just as frantic and eager.

“Katniss,” he whispered, and she tipped her head back to accept his kiss. He’s a dream, someone who could see past everything she couldn’t accomplish, every failure, every disappointment. “Sweetheart, you feel so good.”

He rolled on top of her and hitched her legs around his waist. They rutted against each other, groaning and whimpering at the pleasure they received from their connection. He made her feel so much better. He made her feel like she wasn’t a failure. He made her feel worthy.

“I’ve missed you so much. Missed you so much.”

Hands scrabbled at her sleep shorts. Heat flooded between them and deep in her gut. She wanted him, craved him inside her, longed for acceptance. Something about him—

“Stop!”

Peeta froze on top of her. His reaction was immediate, which only made her feel worse. She’d lost herself, forgotten who it was in bed with her. She’d led him on and allowed him to think their marriage could survive this when he’d be a million times better off leaving than staying with someone who couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Katniss?”

“Don’t,” she warned. “Don’t talk to me like you can fix things if you only talk slowly and calmly enough. I’m not a child.”

“Sweetheart, please. Please let me in. I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered fiercely. “Please don’t do this to us.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what I did. Why did you pull away from me? What did I do that was so terrible?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly, but sobs choked her. He hadn’t done anything. He’d only ever been a wonderful husband, and all that did was remind her that she couldn’t ever live up to what he should have. He was loved and respected and admired by everyone, and she was suspicious of the world. He could make anyone laugh, while she stood by awkwardly with an uncomfortable expression on her face. There were a million things like that, but the worst was what she couldn’t quite process enough to allow herself to embrace what he wanted to give her.

He wanted children, and she couldn’t give them to him.

She burst into tears, which she knew was the only guaranteed way to get him to back down from the brewing confrontation. He wasn’t so much of a masochist that he’d purposefully provoke a weeping woman, particularly not his wife, no matter how strained their relationship. Like she knew he would, Peeta released her and flopped onto his back on the mattress next to her. He didn’t try to comfort her. Instead, he allowed her to sob as her tears quickly converted from fake cries to full-fledged howling.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, and he accepted her apology without even demanding to know anything else. She knew he was frustrated, but he held the space for her, without pushing, as she worked through her outburst. Finally, she quieted, and he rolled onto his side and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

“Better?” he asked with such gentleness in his eyes and voice and touch that she broke again.

“No!” she wailed. “It’s not better. It’s never going to be better.”

Exasperated, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Without a word, he stalked to the bathroom, and she heard the shower turn on and the unmistakable sound of him stepping into it. Embarrassed, she closed her eyes and tried to still her rapidly beating heart. Nowhere in her plan for this trip did she anticipate break down in front of her husband, but she also hadn’t foreseen that they’d have to share a bed. It wasn’t like they’d been doing that at home. Not for months.

“Shower’s free,” he announced as he re-entered the room with a towel slung low on his waist.

His hair, usually ashy blonde and wavy when it was dry, clung to his head as water droplets traced down his chest. A jolt of lust shot through her, something she hadn’t felt for a long time. Without a word, she passed by him to get ready. When she was done, he’d already left for their meeting. The day passed quickly, and too soon they were back in the room together with an awkward silence hanging between them. Peeta didn’t even bother to talk. He simply got ready for bed and curled up on his side with his back to the wall of pillows between them.

Katniss attempted to fall asleep for what felt like ages, but the only thing she could do was listen to the steady in and out of Peeta’s breath. The sound was so familiar to her, and it was even more dear than that. She missed him so much, and, if the morning was any indication, he wanted her as much as she needed him.

“Peeta,” she hissed. When he merely grunted, she moved one of the pillows that separated them and reached across the barrier. “Peeta, wake up.”

“What do you want?” he grumbled without turning toward her. “Sleeping.”

“I want you.”

Peeta rolled over, but he didn’t make any effort to touch her. Pillows still separated them, but the wall they’d built between them was much worse than the temporary barrier. They needed to talk, but she didn’t intend to. She could distract him, she knew. She’d always been able to with a smile and a kiss and her body.

“Talk to me first.”

“Why? What good will it do?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it would fix everything. Maybe, just maybe, we could save our marriage. If nothing else, it might make me think you want me and not just a night of meaningless sex. It’s not like we’ve exactly been jumping each other for the past several months.”

She sniffed at his sarcasm, although she couldn’t blame him. He’d put up with a lot from her, but he’d been kind of awful, too. His kindness earlier in the day didn’t make up for some of the cutting remarks and nasty actions he’d resorted to when he was frustrated. Still, his desperate plea for her to let him in struck at her heart, and she didn’t want to lie to him anymore. If she could just get started, the barrier between them could be dismantled.

“You wanted a baby.”

Her voice waved, but it was out there now. She knew it wasn’t her fault, had gone over the medical issues repeatedly, had processed all of it. Still, she felt like a failure. Knowing and feeling were almost never the same thing when it came to pain and disappointment.

“So did you.”

“It’s not the same.”

He signed loudly. Shifting away from him, she curled into herself at his irritation.

“Sweetheart, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Yes, I wanted a baby, but I want you more.”

“You don’t mean that,” she protested.

“I really, really do.”

“How am I supposed to believe it?”

Peeta sat up and grabbed the pillows between them and tossed them to the floor before grabbing her arm and tugging her toward him. He put his mouth next to her ear and hissed, “I want you more than anything else in the world. Do you feel that? Can’t you tell how much I crave being inside you?”

She shivered at the feel of him hard and plastered against her thigh. How he’d gotten there so quickly, she had no idea, but it gave her ideas, especially since she did some quick math in her head and realized it had been over six months since she’d slept with her husband. They still had a million things to talk about, a thousand misunderstandings to navigate, and a ton of baggage, but the removal of the barrier had begun.

“Peeta?”

When he hummed, she leaned in to kiss him. They had one more night in their shared hotel room. Katniss decided to take full advantage of it, and it didn’t take long before Peeta let her know how enthusiastically he agreed with her plan. Maybe they couldn’t fix what was between them, but it couldn’t hurt to try.

[spnae]

Chapter 21 Our Expert

The two vampires made their way down to the front entry hall. Spike bounced on the balls of his feet while Angel leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest. Angel eyed Spike with annoyance, “So I see you found her alright. Did she even really need your help?”

“I managed to get to her in Paris before it did. We took down the nasty together. Sort of solidified the bond between us.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Thing’s blood had certain mystical properties, we both got completely drenched in it.”

“That sucks.”

“Not as much as you might think. Turns out that back in old times they used to use this thing’s blood for marriage rituals as a test of true love. Couples that shared real true love got over a weeks worth of seriously incredible sex and the couples that had anything less than the real thing just went completely mouth-foaming, bug-shagging mad. Normally ended up with the unhappy couple killing each other before morning according to Little Red. These folks would do it on purpose as a test of love and fidelity. It just sort of happened to us. We didn’t find out about the strings attached until well into the next day when Wil called to tell us about it.”

“And since neither one of you is dead or insane…”

“Course, Buffy and I hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. We just thought things were amplified because we’d been apart for so long. Couldn’t keep our hands off of each other, you see. Didn’t really leave the room much that week… or the next. Nothing quite like Paris in spring,” he smiled serenely, gloating.

“Are you done? You got that out. Played your little mind game and had your fun?”

Spike grinned, “Not just messing round, Angel-cakes. Every word is true. Best. Sex. Ever. And I do mean, ever. Not to mention it seems to have left this sort of connection between us. Like a psycho-sexual thing, hard to make out sometimes if we’re not actually touching or in the act, but it’s coming along, getting stronger. Growing. That one wasn’t in the books, we’ve been figuring it out on our own since it happened.”

“Bet you’re loving this.”

“Damn right I am.”

“You’re twisted.”

“Yeah, a bit. At least I know how to have a good time.”

Buffy came jogging down the stairs dressed for fall in jeans, a sweater and running shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a severe braid. When she got there she pulled a messenger bag down from a hook by the door and slung it around her neck.

“Ready boys?”

Spike smiled at her fondly while Angel looked like he might be sick. She shifted her gaze between the two, “You told him about Paris, didn’t you?”

“You know I couldn’t resist.”

“I thought we agreed we were going to wait to tell him about that.”

Angel looked at the two of them, “Seriously?”

Buffy sighed and opened the door leading the way in across the lawn towards the duplex, “Nope, it’s all a figment of your imagination and you’re going to wake up soon. What the hell do you think we are doing here anyway?”

“Each other apparently…” he grumbled as he followed them across the lawn, “I don’t know, I assumed training Slayers. But you two seem more like honeymooners than teachers. So you tell me.”

“We wanted to take a trip together but thought we should come up here first. Do a little actual work and take things from there—“

“Then Giles broke his leg, and we decided to stay on a bit longer. Had planned on a little sightseeing tour of Edinburgh this weekend, and now we’re entertaining out of town guests,” Spike interjected.

Buffy shot Spike a quick nod, “Right now we’re just sort of rolling with it.”

“You always did like rambling didn’t you, Spike?”

“Figured the lady deserved a bit of fun for once; before we decide to settle down for good,” Spike rested a hand on her shoulder as Buffy stopped to unlock the front door. The three of them stepped inside without any resistance. For now the two vampires still didn’t need an invitation.

“So what is this place anyway? Looks like you’re starting renovations in here,” Angel said as he looked around the living and dining rooms and followed Buffy through the kitchen and into the basement.

“Yup. We just got the place cleaned out, renovations will be starting soon.”

“Are you going to start keeping the girls in here?”

“Not exactly,” Buffy said, dismissively as she pulled out a map, “look this is where Wendy said she and her girls found the baby.”

“Don’t you think maybe we should’ve brought her with us, Love? The redemption bit?”

Buffy frowned a little, “Honestly at this point, I don’t know if that would be a good idea. She’s been seriously off since it happened. Obviously it’s important for her to have a role in fixing this, but maybe just not tonight.”

“Fair enough, I just work here.”

“I’m not your boss, we’re partners.”

“Can we move this along?” Angel asked impatiently.

Buffy folded the map up and handed it over to Spike for safekeeping, “Ready to see something cool?” She asked Angel as she made her way down into the basement, stake at the ready. Once again the basement was empty. She went over to open the tunnel door and it swung open.

“Nice,” Angel grinned approvingly.

“I know right?” Spike agreed as he pushed past him into the tunnel, “Dead convenient.”

It didn’t take them long to find the tunnels Wendy had noted on the map. Angel led the way until they came to a large curved room with a small altar in the middle. There was a single older looking demon standing near the altar. He had blue skin a little darker than the baby’s and was wearing green robes with black trim. He had been lighting a series of candles on the altar. He was mostly bald, which made the three small horns on each side of his head seem larger than the ones on the stocky male demon they had seen in the tunnel before with the mother. The old demon in front of Angel had several eyebrow piercings and a large ring through his nose and a thick white beard.

Angel held up a hand signaling for Spike and Buffy to hang back while he took several more steps into the room. He waited a moment then cleared his throat before speaking in the odd language Buffy had heard the parents of the child speaking. The conversation seemed to be going well until the older looking demon suddenly tilted his head looking confused.

Angel fumbled for a second, “Spike? Help me out here.”

Spike cleared his throat, “Ah well, I think you just told him you know the location of the missing cabbage.”

Angel grimaced, nodded once, “Always get those words mixed up…” he said under his breath before he continued on.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present our expert,” Spike murmured low into Buffy’s ear.

Buffy glared at him and turned her attention back to Angel trying not to smile. Angel continued his conversation with the old looking demon. After a moment he bowed his head. Angel imitated him then turned around to Buffy and Spike. “This is Elric, he’s one of the elders. He is willing to arrange a meeting with the other elders tomorrow night. The girls involved will have to be present.”

Buffy stepped forward, “Do we trust this guy? How do we know they won’t hurt them?”

“It’s not part of the process. They wouldn’t do anything until they talk to them first.”

“Ah hum, ok… do we bring the baby?”

Angel turned back to Elric, asked Buffy’s question and turned back to her, “The elders will need to see the baby, but they can not accept him at that time. If things go well tomorrow, then we can bring him back the next night when the girls will have to present the parents with gifts. If they accept their gifts then we can give them back their son.”

“Ok. And if they don’t?”

“Oh the usual.”

“Great, I love the usual,” Spike quipped.

“Speak for yourself,” Buffy intoned flatly.

********************

They had no more than got back into the kitchen at the duplex when Angel’s phone started ringing. He checked the phone and held up a finger. “I’m going to have to take this,” he excused himself walking away from them and into the empty living room area.

“Hey, is something wrong?” he asked quietly into the phone, “No, of course not. I don’t mind.”

Angel listened intently for several minutes before answering, “I’m in Scotland on business right now…” another pause, “It might be a few days but I can meet up with you if—“ Angel stopped talking abruptly, “Yeah alright, sure. I’ll be in touch. Hey, thanks for calling. It was really nice hearing from you. I’ll see you soon.”

He flipped the phone shut and looked up to find Spike and Buffy both watching him. “That the werewolf?” Spike drawled.

Angel looked at the phone and back up at them, “Wh— oh no, that was just— it’s not important,” he slipped the phone back into his pocket then rubbed his hands together. “Ready to get out of here?”

Buffy eyed him, “Sure, sun up isn’t really that far off, probably a good idea.”

As they made their way across the lawn Angel spoke up again, “By the way, where’s Dawn? I’m surprised she’s not here with you.”

“Taking summer classes in Rome.”

“And you’re here, with him?”

“And she’s almost eighteen, living with a super powerful witch and a Slayer; not some random guy. I have met most of her friends and she hangs out with at least one Slayer nearly all the time. Plus there’s this thing called a telephone that’s super handy for two people to communicate with.”

“Hard to believe she’s that old already.”

“Yup…”

“Wait; Did you say Rome?”

“They’re still in the same flat,” Spike interjected.

“What school is she at?”

Buffy told him and then raised an eyebrow at him when he stopped dead in his tracks. “What’s the matter with you?” She asked.

He shook his head, “Ah nothing, I just know someone else who is taking summer classes there,” he hitched a thumb behind his shoulder gesturing towards the duplex, “Kind of a crazy coincidence… the phone call I got in there… just letting me know he’s—“

“You gotta be kidding,” Spike and Buffy said in unison as they both stared at him.

“I—“

“No seriously, you gotta be kidding me,” Buffy repeated, “If you tell me your kid is at the same school as my little sister… that’s some coincidence.”

“What?”

“Oh right, so how many college-age kids do you know?”

“You expect us to believe that your kid just happens to be taking a summer semester at the same school her little sister is?” Spike asked.

“First of all, I don’t have much contact with him. He calls every once in a while to give me updates. I knew he was planning on taking a summer trip somewhere in Europe. I didn’t know he’d be in Rome. Or there. It’s a big school, they might not even meet.”

“They’re taking summer classes at the same school, roughly the same age, both speak English, come from LA, and both exist because of some major cosmic rewriting. No, they won’t stumble into each other at all.”

“Probably shagging already,” Spike said nonchalantly.

Buffy and Angel both glared at Spike, “What? Like you’re not thinking it too? I know you are, Pet. Probably what Dawn has been so squirrely about.”

Buffy turned to Angel, “How long has he been there?”

“Humm, I’m not sure, maybe a month? He had some trouble with housing, he was just letting me know that it finally got sorted out and he was settling in.”

“Be funny if he’s just crashing with Dawn. He knows Willow right? It’s not that far of a leap, is it? Friend of dad’s, bonus cute girl… just saying,” Spike said.

Buffy rolled her eyes towards the sky, “William, Honey, please shut up…”

“Slayer, I’m just elaborating on what you already said. You know as well as I do, how this stuff works. I can’t be the only one who’s noticed how the Powers That Be, love to screw with anyone in the know. Sounds just like their brand of screwy. Your mystical sister getting it on with his mystical son. Both of whom shouldn't actually exist. You see what I’m getting at don’t you?”

“That’s just what we need…”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Connor is a good kid… now… Look, I was already thinking about heading down that way when I’m done here. That’s what we were talking about. I can check in on Dawn at the apartment too if you want.”

Buffy shot Spike a quick glance, “Yeah, I think I’d really appreciate that. As much as I don’t want to think about it, Spike is right.”

“Only if Dawn has started wearing leather and slaying,” Angel mumbled under his breath.

Buffy caught it and looked at him strangely, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Just that he, ehh… has a type… wears leather, can fight… and he may or may not have a thing for Slayers…” he trailed off.

Spike opened the castle door and let them all in, “Must be hereditary… but Dawn’s not a Slayer,” he pointed out.

“No, but I have taught her to fight and she does have full access to my closet…” she said grumpily as she hung up the messenger bag she had taken with them.

Spike smirked as he shrugged off his long leather jacket, “No telling what sweet delights are hiding in there.”

“I’m going to see if Willow or Dawn emailed me back yet. Maybe they’ll tell me something that cancels out this whole stupid conversation,” She paused abruptly and shook her head, “You know what, no, I’m done worrying for tonight. Now we have a game plan for getting the kid back. I feel a little better, like I can breathe.”

Spike and Angel exchanged glances.

“You have something planned for tonight, Pet? Letting go of worry and all…”

Buffy thought for a moment looking between the two handsome vampires. She had a brief daydream of the two of them standing in front of her shirtless on some tropical beach at sunset. Buffy cleared her throat, “Humm, not really. Maybe a glass of wine and a movie, then I can check my email.”

“Switch wine for whiskey and I’m in,” Spike shrugged. He brushed her hair behind her shoulder and ran his hand down her arm taking her hand in his.

Buffy smiled, “Movie night?”

Spike swung her hand once and smiled at her, “Alright, but not another chick flick.”

“I was thinking of a comedy. I need a laugh. Get my mind off Dawn and all this baby stuff for the night,” Still holding his hand, Buffy turned to Angel, “What do you think Angel, join us for movie night?”

“Yeah, what do you say, Mate? Bury the hatchet and try doing the old-friends bit. At least for tonight. Try it on for size,” Spike said in a tone that dared Angel to refuse the olive branch.

Angel glared at him then glanced at Buffy. She was still holding Spike’s hand. All she was asking for was a little civility and an escape. “It’s been a while since I’ve watched a movie.”

“I’ll get the popcorn!” Buffy withdrew from Spike and shot off towards the kitchen.

Spike watched her for a second then turned towards Angel, “Come on then, let’s find something to make the girl laugh.”

Angel hesitated but followed Spike into the large living room. Spike immediately started rummaging through the extensive movie collection, pulling out a couple of Buffy’s favorites along with some random ones she might be interested in and laying them down on the coffee table to give her the final say.

Angel eyed the movies, “I’ve never even heard of half of these,” he said skeptically as he eyed the small stack of movies including, ‘Death Becomes Her’, ‘Scooby-Doo’, ‘Men In Black’, ‘Dazed and Confused’, ‘The Burbs’, ‘Saving Grace’, and ‘Bedazzled’.

“Not surprising. You really got to get out more.”

“When did they make a ‘Scooby-Doo’ live action movie?”

“It’s pretty new. Haven’t watched it yet. But look at the front. Daphne’s never looked better, she’s seriously hot.”

Angel eyed the movie case, “Looks like Buffy with red hair.”

“Like I said, seriously hot.”

Angel looked at it again and set it back down. Buffy came in a minute later with a big bowl of popcorn and she set it down, “If you two want blood you can help yourself.”

Spike raised a hand absentmindedly as he continued looking through the movies, “Just whisky for me, for now.”

“That’s what I forgot,” she said as she went to retrieve her wine, and the whiskey and glasses for the guys.

She came back in, set down the glasses, a bottle each of wine and whiskey. Angel watched with interest as she stripped off the sweater she had worn out. Now they were inside, she was getting warm again. Buffy didn’t notice his gaze and picked up the stack of movies. She threw one back down and handed the rest back to Spike to put away. He shifted through them before putting them back in the bin, noting which movie was missing from the stack and grinned.

“Go on, Pet. Let’s see what happens when cartoons come alive.”

Buffy got the movie started and went over to stand by the couch, “I’m honestly just hoping for a good laugh.”

“Freddy looks like a real winner,” Angel scoffed as he sat down.

Buffy looked almost offended, “Maybe not the hair, but I thought the actor was pretty damn cute.” Both vampires looked at her, “What? I’m allowed to look,” she said indignantly.

Spike stood up, suddenly wrapping his arms around her and pulled them both down onto the couch. Buffy let out a squeal as she landed on top of him awkwardly and laughed. She swatted him playfully and Spike loosened his grip, letting her up. He sat up a little with her. Their eyes locked as he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, “As long as you know where home is.”

“You know I do,” she said low in his ear. Spike leaned down to her for a kiss. It was sweet and passionate and left them both wanting more.

Angel fought the urge to vomit. Instead he just reached for the remote and hit play on the movie, “Could you please not do that? Movie night was your idea, if you two need to go upstairs then go,” his tone was grim and he said it without looking at them.

Spike smirked at Buffy, “What say you, Pet? Do we need some alone time?”

“Shhh, the movie is starting,” she said in her most innocent tone. She pulled the popcorn towards herself and settled into the crook of Spike‘s arm leaning up against him comfortably.

The movie had barely started when Faith came into the living room carrying a glass of ice and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. Spike and Buffy cuddled on one couch and Angel sitting alone, sullenly on the other.

“What the hell is going on in here? What happened tonight; did you meet with the elders?” Faith asked indignity.

“Movie night. We will go back tomorrow and the next night with Wendy’s group and the baby,” Buffy answered without turning towards her.

Faith sat down with a huff on the opposite side of the same couch Angel was on and grabbed the popcorn off of Buffy, “Nice of you to see if I wanted to join. Where’s the love, B?”

“Got wine and whiskey, get yourself a glass,” Spike added.

“Already got one. Felt like having one on the rocks so I came down for some ice. Guess that explains why I couldn’t find the bottle in the kitchen. Sounds like my kind of movie night. What are we watching anyway? Is that— is this Scooby-Doo? Are they getting stoned in ‘The Mystery Machine’, what the?”

“Everyone knows Shaggy’s a stoner. Now shut it, watch the movie. Drink,” Spike said simply.

Faith leaned forward to grab the whiskey off the coffee table. She poured herself a glass and glanced over at Angel. She caught him stealing a quick glance at Buffy and Spike, and filled his empty glass. Angel grunted a thanks and sat back looking dejected. Faith stretched her legs out on the couch, her feet not quite touching Angel’s thigh. He didn’t seem to notice. In fact he just sat there staring at the television rather than actually watching the movie. Faith rolled her eyes and directed her attention back to the movie where Scooby and Shaggy were doing something goofy.

Spike and Buffy both laughed at the antics on the screen. He murmured something into Buffy’s ear that Faith couldn’t hear and Buffy laughed again. Angel furrowed his brow and downed half of his glass of whiskey. He held the glass to his forehead as he glanced at them again.

Faith kicked him with one sock covered foot, “Let it go,” she mouthed to him.

Angel let out a sigh and relaxed a little before finishing off the contents of his glass and poured another drink. He continued drinking, sipping slowly rather than pounding shots, throughout the rest of the film. Casting a glance at the happy couple nearly every time Buffy giggled.

The moment the movie ended, both Buffy and Spike practically shot off the couch. Buffy muttered something vaguely apologetic about going to bed early and she and Spike made their way up to their bedroom.

Faith got up, “How about another movie?” She asked Angel.

He turned his head back around to look at Faith, “As long as it’s not based on a cartoon.”

Faith rummaged through the movie bin and pulled out ‘Lethal Weapon 3’ without asking what he wanted to watch. As Faith sat back down with a fresh glass of whiskey in her hand. The movie started and Angel patted the top of her foot, “I know what you’re trying to do…”

“Is it working?”

“I’ll let you know.”

Faith eyed him before taking a sip of whiskey and turning back to the TV, “You got to lighten up dude. I’m not saying get your happy on, just ease up a bit.”

“Not sure that would help the situation.”

“A little levity helps in like 80% of all situations. Maybe you should give it a shot.”

“I can be funny. I make people laugh all the time,” he said with a pout.

“Ah huhh, sure, whatever you say,” she added as she rolled her eyes.

*********************

Upstairs in their bedroom, Spike pulled Buffy to him. She placed a hand on his chest, “Thanks for tonight. I think Angel is finally starting to come around,” she said softly.

“No he’s not. Just because he’s playing nice doesn’t mean he’s on board with you and me shagging every chance we get. Might not be such a bad thing if he never does.”

“Now that’s just evil.”

“I don’t mean it like that,” she gave him an angry look, “No honestly,” he said defensively, “Think about it like putting an extra lock on Angelus’s prison. Even if he does get back with his werewolf chippie or finds someone new, he can be happy without being TOO happy.”

“So you’re saying flaunting our happiness in front of him is for the greater good?”

“Basically, yeah. It’s also a hell of a lot of fun. Throwing all that nonsense of his, back at him.”

“Yeah I’m not sure how I feel about that. I get that he’s put you through some shit but I refuse to be a pawn or worse, some ridiculous prize, in some kind of sick game between you two idiots.”

“You know that’s not how I think of you, don’t you? You are so much more to me than some stupid prize, Buffy. I love you, all of you.”

“I know. I just can’t stand the stupidity of it all when you two get together.”

“Not really much I can do about that, Pet.”

She glared cooly at him. Spike sighed, “I’ll do what I can. But only because it’s you, Slayer.”

Buffy let out a huff and dipped her head before looking back up to him, “I’ll take the nice act for now.”

“That right?” His tone was seductive as he let his hands roam over her body.

“What do you say to trying a little meditation?”

“Not exactly what I was hoping you’d say,” he arched an eyebrow at her.

“Oh I think we could make it interesting if we try,” she smiled wickedly.

“Alright, where do you want me?”

Buffy threw a couple of throw pillows on the floor and got out some candles. Once the candles were lit she sat down on one of the pillows. Spike kicked off his boots and mirrored her. They sat cross legged across from one other. Buffy held out her hands for Spike. His fingers glided over her palms. A subtle electric current passed through them both as their fingers intertwined. Buffy let out a small sigh.

“Ready for this?” She asked.

“Ready if you are.”

She nodded, “Close your eyes and clear your mind. Focus on me. I’ll do the same. We’ll try sensing each other and sending thoughts back and forth.”

“Sexy thoughts?”

“Let’s try small and work our way up,” she winked, “Although I wouldn’t complain to a little sexy.”

Spike cracked his neck and settled down. Closing his eyes he started picturing himself kissing Buffy dressed just as they had been. The kiss was slow and tender. Buffy pulled back from him a little.

So far so good, can you hear me okay? She thought.

Loud and clear, he responded.

A moment later the mind-scape shifted slightly. The kiss resumed and they were floating through space.

Spike? What just happened?

Just roll with it, Love. In his mind's eye he tangled his fingers into her golden hair and pulled her head back kissing along her neck and down to her exposed breast. They were both naked. Interwoven and floating. He imagined taking one of her breasts in his mouth, nipping at the tip with a little more force than he normally would. He heard Buffy gasp and realized it must have worked. Buffy’s eyes suddenly flared with desire.

Two can play that game, she thought. She ran her mouth along his neck and throat. Down towards his collarbone and back up to his ear as she ran her hands through his hair. She wrapped her legs around him, then ran a leg down the back of his thigh and hooked her ankle around the back of his knee. She ground down on him, rubbing herself against his hard member.

You’re in for it now, Pet. Spike growled and his eyes flashed yellow as he reached a hand down working his fingers over her. Slowly he worked his way in. Buffy moved to take him into her warmth.

He had barely worked himself in all the way before Buffy pulled back and opened her eyes, breaking the connection. They were both still sitting in the middle of their bedroom on the throw pillows. Buffy was panting. Spike looked at her with a combination of lust and confusion on his face, “Why’d you break it? It was just getting good.”

She rocked up onto her knees pitching herself into his arms, “Because as awesome as that was, I need you. The real you. I need to feel you inside me.”

He smiled, “Bloody hell yes!” he pushed himself up to his knees to meet her lips. Buffy stripped his shirt from him and ran her tongue along the well defined line bisecting his amazingly chiseled torso. She bit at his hip. Spike’s eyes flashed open turning from blue to yellow and back again.

He gripped his fingers into her hair pulling her up to kiss him again, “I love you, Buffy,” his growl came out from deep within his chest.

She knew his demon self was hovering just below the surface and didn’t care. She kissed him as she reached for the hem of her own shirt. Spike ran his hands up her smooth taught stomach and up over her bra. He pulled back to look at her as she pulled the shirt off revealing a pale purple bra.

“This a new one?”

“I held back a few surprises from our shopping trip.”

“Keeping thing’s interesting are we?”

“Always,” she said as she shimmied out of her jeans.

They kissed again as Buffy pushed Spike back onto the bed. She unfastened his pants and slid them down. Spike sat up to remove his shirt, and she straddled him. Buffy took out the hair tie still holding her hair back in a tight braid and shook out her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.

“God you’re beautiful,” Spike exclaimed softly. He ran his fingers lightly along her hips stopping when he felt little bows of ribbon on the sides of the little matching panties.

He looked down and grinned, “I like this set,” he said as he pulled a ribbon on each side before pulling them off completely. She shivered as the fabric passed over the sensitive skin. Then he reached up until he found the clasp of her bra and undid it with a practiced hand. Buffy arched her back, letting the bra slip down exposing herself fully to him. Spike gazed at her atop him, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

Buffy grinned at him, “What's that look for?”

“Just appreciating the view” he lifted a hand, trailing his fingers from her collarbone downward. She shivered in anticipation when he passed down over her breast. He brushed the soft toned skin of her abdomen and continued down her body, moving slowly and deliberately.

Buffy moved her hips, slowly rocking herself over his fingers as he rubbed her gently. Buffy was starting to feel desperate now. Her need for him growing. She raked her nails lightly down his chest as she went in for another passion laced kiss. Spike deepened the kiss as he adjusted himself and pulled Buffy down onto him in one fluid motion. Buffy let out a little gasp as he pushed his hardness into her completely. Giving her exactly what she wanted so badly. The connection between them intensified as they sensed each other’s needs and deepest desires. Spike nearly lost control for a moment, feeling his fangs descend. Buffy watched. Then leaning down she grabbed his hands and using her strength she pushed his hands up over his head pinning them there. In retaliation Spike took one of her breasts in his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. Buffy gasped when he bit lightly. It sent a shock of pleasure and pain through her that had her right on the edge of release. After several minutes she let his hands go. However, he held them in place, reaching up to hold onto the headboard.

He watched her with hungry eyes as she pulled back, sitting up and rolling her hips sensually as she felt him gliding inside of her. They were both lost in a sea of sensation as they moved their bodies together in writhing synchronized motions. Suddenly it was as though they were connected in both the physical world and their shared mind-scape. The feelings were intense as they explored each other both inside and out. The mind Spike was the one in his vampire form, the demon inside him joining in the fun. She opened her eyes to look at the real Spike pressed into her, realizing his face hadn’t actually changed at all. She kissed him and they kissed in the mind-scape too, in spite of his fangs. With a thrill Buffy realized she didn’t mind either way and deepened both kisses.

When she opened her eyes again Spike really had let his face shift, “Are you sure this is what you want?” He rasped quietly.

“I want you, all of you. The monster and the man, inside and out.”

Spike growled as she brought her mouth back down onto his, carefully keeping himself from hurting her with his fangs. She moved back over to his neck and ear, sucking and flicking with her tounge. Can you be gentle with those things? She asked inside her head without ever lifting her mouth from his ear.

“What did you have in mind?” He gasped aloud when she bit his ear with blunt teeth.

Buffy sat up a little, offering her other breast to him. He took it gleefully. As he rolled his tongue along the tip the way she liked. He gave a little nip with his teeth. She gasped. Little pinpricks of blood met his tongue making him shudder involuntarily. Did I hurt you? He thought to her.

“A little. Don’t stop,” she gasped again as he continued to tease. The sensation over took them both. He ran his tongue around soothingly, tasting the little hints of blood on her skin. He loved that taste but never wanted to really hurt her. He thrust up into her as hard as he could and Buffy shuttered as the first orgasm hit.

Spike let go of the headboard. He grabbed Buffy’s hips, suddenly lifting her up and pulling her forward towards him. He let his face melt back into his human form before grinning up at her. “Wouldn’t want to damage your sweet spot, Pet,” he growled low, “I want you.”

Buffy grabbed hold of the headboard and pressed herself against it as he dipped his mouth under her. Tasting her. He teased her with his tongue relentlessly and dug his fingertips into her hips and thighs as she pressed herself to his mouth asking for more.

Buffy screamed as he continued to pleasure her. His hands wandered over her lower back and up to her breasts. She released her grip on the headboard and grabbed his hands signaling him to let go. She ran her fingers through his hair roughly. Spike let out a low sexy growl. Arching her back, Buffy reached behind herself rubbing her hand against him. He was still slick and wet from being inside her. Electricity shot through them both as Buffy screamed again, “William!”

Buffy moaned again, and gripped a handful of his hair, thus spurring him on harder. A scream escaped her lips again before lifting herself up. She swung her leg around so she could move to the side, going down on all fours. Communicating her needs through their link.

Without saying a word Spike got up, and positioned himself behind her. She pushed back into him and he glided into her deeply once more, feeling her clamp down around him. Buffy straightened up, pressing her back against his chest as they continued moving in rhythm with each other. Spike growled and kissed her neck, tasting her salty skin. She moaned in appreciation and reached one hand to grab his hand on her hip, moving it down between her legs. Then she turned as she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to her for a kiss. He bent towards her, accepting it like a living man might accept an oxygen mask.

As their lips and tongues kneaded each other, Buffy felt herself building towards another release. The kiss deepened. Spike moaned into her open mouth as he continued to drive into her steadily. She let out another little cry of delight as he moved his other hand over her breast pinching gently. Buffy released her hands and moved slightly as she pressed them against the headboard for leverage. Spike increased his pace, sending them both over the edge.

He held her in place with his hands on her hips as Buffy steadied herself. She reached her arm back again pulling him into another kiss, this one slow and tender. They turned to face each other and resumed the kiss as they laid down on the bed. Buffy struggled to catch her breath as they lay there intertwined in postcoital bliss.

Spike rested his head against hers and smirked, “That was incredible.”

“Yeah it was,” She panted as she pulled herself a little closer to him.

“That’s a mind game I don’t mind playing.”

“Think we’ll ever get the hang of that without the sexcapades?”, she teased.

“I’m not complaining.”

Buffy laughed, “Yeah, I didn’t think you would,” she passed the moment relishing in the feel of his arms around her, “I love you.”

“Still getting used to hearing that,” he said softly.

“I love you,” she repeated earnestly.

“I love you too.”

Buffy wiggled a little in his arms as she readjusted herself on the bed with him, “I know I don’t say it enough… to anyone… I just really want you to know how much I really do, love you— you know, with Angel in town and all… I just want—“

“I’m gonna stop you. You don’t have to prove anything, Love.”

She took a deep breath, “Liar,” she laughed, “You say that, but I know you. You wouldn’t be so damn insecure around Angel if—“

Spike huffed, “You have no idea how much of that bloody nonsense isn’t even about you, Pet. You’re right about one thing, I’m still working through it a bit. Did a lot of that in LA but it’s still there; a bit.”

“You’re sure that’s all?”

“I’m sure. Think of it like serious daddy issues— except not— and way more twisted than the average.”

“Yeah, I can’t think of you two like that—“

“Like what? A freaking twisted family? That’s sort of what we are, Pet. A little like the family you’ve built for yourself around here. Except way more buggered.”

“I so don’t need to hear this. Why not go with something less— icky than daddy issues?”

Spike chuckled, “Dru always called Angelus ‘daddy’,” he shrugged, “Then he wouldn’t think twice about shagging her just to annoy me,” he cleared his throat, “I see your point.”

“Yup. That and it sounds like you’re still hung up on Dru.”

“Pfft, not bloody likely,” he paused a moment turning his face towards hers with a wicked grin, “So what do you think, Love, round two? Or would that be three with the whole mind thing?”

“Oh yeah, color me totally reassured,” she snorted delicately and grinned.

Still grinning, she tilted her head for another kiss and let herself melt into him. He pulled her hard against his naked body. Letting out a gruff moan, he kissed and gently nipped her neck. She ran her fingers in his hair and gripped hard. Setting up the mind-scape once more they dove in. The physical and the mental intertwining until they lost themselves in the other. There in that bramble of mind and body they found themselves and each other over and over again.

They moved against each other. Feeling, touching, and tasting every inch of one and other in slow sensual movements that consumed them both in sheer ecstasy. They let their minds wander in and out of each other, heightening the experience exponentially. The sun had risen long before they finally fell asleep, still intertwined in a tangle of limbs as they slept.

[collecting-stories]

Ten Years - JJ Maybank

Request: could u write something abt y/n and jj who have been together since they were like 12 and just make it super fluffy🥰

A/N: so there wasn’t really like, a full plot request so I just kinda went with this...hope you like it!

Outer Banks Masterlist

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

JJ stood in the entrance to the dressing room, phone in hand as he texted back and forth with Pope and swiped through different online stores. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of actual trousers, a far cry from the cheap ones he used to wear when he bused tables at the island club. He was supposed to be trying on different suits but it’d taken you an hour just to get him into these pants, you couldn’t imagine how the rest of the shopping trip was going to go. 

“Matching sweatshirts?” JJ asked, holding his phone out to show you a picture of dorky matching sweatshirts that said ‘player 1’ and ‘player 2’ respectively.  

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you rubbed a hand against your forehead and took a deep breath. You should have known that trying to shop would go south with JJ. “I love you so much but there is no way in hell I’m wearing matching sweatshirts with you.” 

“I can’t believe you’re not gonna wear matching sweatshirts with me.” JJ whined, pulling his phone away to send the picture to Pope. “I’m gonna get a new girlfriend who will.”   

“Ask Pope.”

“I am.” He replied, continuing to text.  

“Not right now JJ! You’re supposed to be getting a suit anyway, not standing around on your phone shopping for cheesy sweatshirts.” You sighed, finally standing up from the ottoman that was available for seating outside the dressing room. You tried to grab his phone from him but he slid away, socked feet gliding on the laminated floor. He backed further into the dressing area, toward the stall you’d ushered him into earlier.  

“What if you didn’t have to wear it out?” He asked, holding his phone out of reach when you tried to grab it again. As much as you enjoyed the sight of JJ in nothing but a pair of nice pants, and you did enjoy the sight quite a lot, he was starting to get on your last nerve. Especially when he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you against him, still holding the phone away with his other hand.  

“So what I’m just gonna walk around our house wearing a sweatshirt?” You asked. The little blue ranch house that you and JJ were renting on the cut was set back a little from the road but it wasn’t entirely void of neighbors. Not to mention the amount of times any of the pogues dropped in without warning. When you looked up at him you realized his eyes had glazed over, pupils dilated as he stared, completely unashamed, right down the front of your tank top. “JJ!”

“What...you in only a sweatshirt? Let’s skip all this and go straight to the honeymoon.” He suggested, grinning as he leaned in to kiss you.  

You let him, though you finally gave in to the eyeroll as he pulled away from you. It was like trying to corral a child into doing something. “Not exactly doing the big tent wedding here J. Now pick a suit.” 

“But if you don’t have to go out?” He whined, mind still on his stupid sweatshirt idea. You’d never matched clothes before and you’d heard him on more than one occasion mock couples who did, so why he was suddenly interested in the cheesy tradition was beyond you.  

“Oh my god, buy the sweatshirt, please.” You groaned, stepping completely away and heading back out of the dressing room, “but finish trying on suits first!”  

“Love you!” 

Your mom wanted a big wedding with all the people she was friends with invited as well as family members none of you had even seen in your lifetime but you had refused. It felt silly to do the big white wedding, silly and costly and not like you and JJ at all. The money saved for it had been spent on converting a VW bus that was a nicer version of the Twinkie, that he had parked out front of the house you’d been renting together since you turned nineteen.  

Still, even without the wedding, you wanted a semi-nice dress and him in a suit when the two of you went to City Hall at the end of the week to get married.  

Married. You were waiting for the word to make you feel different but so far it just felt normal. Like it was just supposed to happen.  

-

“Why are your eyes covered?” You laughed, walking into the living room to see JJ standing there in his suit with his hands covering his eyes. He’d obviously just been smoking before you came in because his juul was still in his hand too, trapped between his fingers.  

“I don’t wanna see you before the wedding!” He exclaimed.  

“You’re driving,” You laughed, grabbing at his hands. When you pulled them away he had his eyes shut. “JJ, open your eyes.” 

He opened one eye and then the other, slowing smiling as he took in the sight of you in the simple white dress, you’d picked out with Sarah a few weeks ago. It’d been sitting wrapped up in the closet so he couldn’t see it without you in it. “You look really beautiful.” He finally said, kissing you. “You’d look even more beautiful in matching sweatshirts.” JJ teased.  

“Oh my god JJ. I’m not wearing matching sweatshirts to get married.” You replied, taking the juul from him so you could put it away.  

“Then I guess the dress works.”

“Wow thanks.” You laughed.

Before you could walk away from him JJ grabbed your arm, drawing your attention back to him. “Hey, before we go-“

“We have like thirty minutes to get there.” You said, cutting him off. There was no way the two of you were going to make it in time.  

“It’ll be quick, promise.”

“What?” 

“I know we’re not doing vows but I didn’t exactly get any points for a romantic proposal either...considering. So I just wanted to say something before we leave, without everyone else around.”   

JJ’s ‘proposal’ had come about on a Tuesday morning. It wasn’t romantic, there wasn’t even a ring picked out yet. Instead JJ had been sitting on the other side of the island, trying to steal pieces of bacon off of Pope’s plate while he was in the bathroom, when you told him that your mom was giving you a hard time about the two of you living together.  

Your mom’s favorite words were ‘just a phase’ when she talked about you and JJ. It was just a phase that you were going through that had you attracted to someone she viewed as a ‘bad boy’ in every cliched sense of the term. Though you highly doubted at 22 that it was a phase. Especially when you’d spent the last ten years basically dating. Since the 6th grade winter formal when JJ asked you to dance with him.  

“She said ‘once you get out from under that roof you’ll see’ and I told her that I’m never moving. We’re gonna like get married and get a cat and have windchimes like Lana.” You had said, smacking JJ’s hand, “stop eating Pope’s food.”

“He abandoned it.” JJ pointed out.

“He’s in the bathroom, stop it.” You said, waving the spatula at him. “Anyway...she just...” you groaned, “I can’t stand when she does that like. We’re not in highschool anymore. Why can’t she drop the whole ‘this is temporary’ thing like...do you see these four walls? Not temporary.”

“Marry me?”

“What?” You froze, spatula in hand, staring at him in surprise.  

“Marry me.” He shrugged. “You said it yourself, this isn’t temporary. So, marry me.”

The wedding day, though it wasn’t really a wedding, had come quicker than the two of you had expected and now, if you weren’t out the door in five minutes, you knew that you’d be late. JJ was an erratic driver but nothing would get you to the other side of the island on time.  

“You’re gonna make me cry before we even get to the courthouse?” You asked, already feeling yourself get teared up. “That’s mean JJ.”

“I just want you to know,” He started to say, trying not to laugh when he realized you were starting to cry, “hey, come on...I didn’t even say anything yet.”

“I know, I know I just-” you looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times, “oh god this mascara isn’t waterproof.”

“We’ll survive if your makeup doesn’t stay intact.” He promised.  

“JJ!” You laughed. “Okay fine, go, I won’t cry. I just...won’t look at you.”  

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Just say the thing.” You insisted, waving your hand for him to go ahead.  

“When I asked you to marry me it was spur of the moment but it wasn’t just something I said because I thought it’d be fun or cute or whatever. We’ve been through...hell...together and I know how hard it's been and there isn’t any guarantee that it won’t be hard-”

“That sounds awesome,” you laughed but JJ could already hear the slight crack in your voice.  

“-shut up. You never let me finish anything.”  

“I do too!”

“You literally just interrupted me trying to be nice and tell you something romantic.”

“I’m sorry...go ahead.”

“No, the moment’s ruined.” JJ shrugged, grabbing his backpack off the table so that the two of you could leave.

You grabbed JJ’s hand, trying to pull him back toward the middle of the living room and away from the door, “no finish, tell me!”

“Fine, fine. You’re such a brat.” He laughed, “I was gonna say-”

The door opened and you groaned as Pope stuck his head in, “yo...guys, lets go.”  

“Hold on!” You whined and JJ wrapped his arms around you, holding you close and kissing your forehead.

“I’ll tell you later, while we’re in our matching sweatshirts.”

“Unbelieveable.”

-

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[soyouthinkucanwrite]

Chapter 1 - intentions, a Tom Holland series

The name of the series is super random, don't mind me. No warnings. Reader is a postgraduate student at NYU, made a docuseries on her research and the show got picked up by Netflix. She goes on press tour and meets Tom on a ‘chat show’. This could be an amazing few days or more? It’s been interesting writing how they’ll deal with distance and tight schedules once ‘honeymoon’ is over...

(y/f/n) = your first name

(y/l/n) = your last name

(y/n) = your name, complete or not

1.8k words

Chapter 1 - A new city

Chapter 2 - Show time

Chapter 3 - Unexpected texts

Your docu-series was doing better than anybody expected, well, anybody but you, it was a project that you really believed in. You sold the first season to Netflix with its 10 episodes shot all in NYC and they premiered with almost no press or promotion. But still, the wholesome moments and captivating stories had already become viral and people were so impressed by you. The text was amazing, and your improvisation and good mood lifted the spirit of the whole thing, making it the new feel-good show everybody was binging and talking about.

Better late than never, Netflix decided to promote the show and so they sent you to give interviews and go on talk shows. You still didn’t have an agent, something that you were in desperate need of, because your phone was blowing up all the time with offers for publicity deals, new interviews, and even some job offers. You couldn’t think about that now, you had to focus on making this “press tour” the best possible so, in the next meeting with the Netflix executives, you could close at least two more seasons for your show (and maybe score some other deal for yourself). With all this, you still had to worry about grad school (you still had at least one more year ahead of you until you get your PhD, if you managed to get time to write the dissertation)! You’d have lost your mind for sure, if it wasn’t for your producer and partner in business, David. He was helping you schedule everything and organizing talking points for the promotion tour, but ultimately you were the face of the operation. Fair is fair, that’s why you got to find an agent ASAP.

Currently, you and David were in London for the last bit of the trip, after tomorrow, you guys were going back home to NYC. One thing at a time, you thought to yourself while he talked on the phone with his fiancé outside of the coffee shop you guys were grabbing a bite at lunchtime.

You looked outside the windows, this was your first time in London and you couldn’t stop thinking about how it looked exactly like everything you ever imagined but so much more at the same time. Just like NYC, in that sense. You smiled thinking about maybe shooting a season here someday.

“Hey! Did you order something?” David snapped his fingers and to get you out of your trance.

“Huh?” you looked up.

“Earth to (y/n)? I thought you were hungry?” He laughed at you.

“Sorry, but common, look at this city! You can’t blame me for getting hypnotized.” You answered while he went straight to the counter to order some food and beverages for you guys.

“Yeah, it's beautiful. But this weather, how can someone function with this much moisture all around? Is like the air is heavier.” He said sitting back.

“The air is heavier because of the pollution, probably.” You joked back. You always loved big cities, but that didn’t mean you’d close your eyes for their problems, you just had a better tolerance for this kind of stuff. “How’s Lukas anyway? Everything alright back home?” You asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. He’s just touring wedding venues. He was really happy with the sudden budget increase.” He answered.

“Well, if he waits long enough, his budget might get even bigger. Speaking of which, we got to talk to some layer about that meeting next week. I think we’d be smart to go in there with our terms very well thought about.” You said.

“Right. I’m looking into it. You worry about finding that agent. One thing is the show, the other is your image. And something tells me the more you’re valued in, the more we can negotiate for the show.” He reasoned while the waitress walked towards the table with two plates.

“Own! Is so sweet to have a friend looking out for me!” You joked and threw a napkin at him.

“I am! You’ll see that when your huge face it's on Times Square and you’re closing the deal on some penthouse at 5th.” He laughed.

You shook your head and rolled your eyes at him. David was sweet, but he wanted nothing to do with the celebrity part of this project of yours and you knew he said this kind of stuff in a condescending kind of way. He wasn’t wrong, but you also couldn’t say you didn’t enjoy the attention you were getting because of the show. Maybe he didn’t felt like that because he had Lukas, but you were more than ok to take a few selfies with strangers and doing some photoshoots here and there. You liked the attention, but as long as you were concerned, penthouses and money deals weren’t included in your idea of happiness. Regardless, everything was so new and fun. Thrilling, if you didn’t spend too much time thinking about it.

“Is everything ok for later? Is just this one today, right? Then Radio One tomorrow morning?” You asked him before taking a bite of your sandwich.

“Yes. Yes. And yes. Mary sent your clothes straight there and someone from the show will make your hair and makeup. I think we should go right after here? We’ll have some time to kill there, but I think we can hang out backstage.” He answered.

“Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking maybe we could walk around. Get to know the city? Maybe visit-”

“Excuse me?” You were interrupted by two girls, apparently close to your own age.

“Hi!” You answered happily, but you could see David recoil in his seat (probably already expecting to be asked to snap the picture).

“You’re (y/f/n) (y/l/n)? From that Netflix show?” One of them asked the blonde one.

“Yeah…its (y/l/n), actually, but that’s fine!” You laughed and tried to be friendly.

“Oh! Sorry! We thought the show was so cool and you’re so beautiful!” The other friend said, the one with black roots and blueish tips.

“That’s sweet! Thank you for telling me! David helped me produce it, did you know?” You pointed to the guy extremely uncomfortable in front of you. You loved messing with him.

“Hi.” He said uncomfortably. There was an awkward silence.

“Anyway, would you mind taking a picture with us?” The girl with blue hair asked you.

“Sure! No problem!” You answered quickly and got up to pose.

After you guys took some selfies and David took some pictures of the three of you, you insisted he was in the shot too and the girls agreed politely. He wanted to kill you, but you didn’t care, you were only messing with him. How often you had the chance anyway?

“Thank you so much! Bye!” They said as they left you two to finish your meal.

“If only every teenage with a phone was this civilized,” David said grumpily.

“You complain too much. They were sweet! And they liked our show! That’s awesome!” You seated back.

“I guess that’s pretty great.” He smiled at you. But his smile died once he looked at his clock.

“Anyway, finish eating. I don’t think we’ll have time to even hang around backstage. They told me we’d have to be there at 3” and its already 2’30!” He told you while signaling the waitress for the check.

When you got to the studio, which was in central London luckily and not far from where you guys had lunch, there was a corridor with some doors and your name was in one of them. The Graham Norton Show was super fun and guests sat together on the same couch while being interviewed at the same time. You hadn’t even thought about who the other guests would be yet, but you had to put on the outfit that Mary, the Netflix stylist, had prepared for you and get your hair and makeup done.

“Hey! Can you find out who the other guests are while I change?” You asked David.

“Sure! I’ll be right back!” He answered opening the door and letting a small middle-aged woman inside.

“Hi!” She greeted him. “I’m Rosie. Here for makeup and hair.” She announced.

“Hi! I’m (y/n)! I’ll just change real quick, do you have a cape we can put over the outfit so it doesn’t get dirty?” You asked already undressing in front of her, David was long gone by now.

“Sure, sure. We have to be quick though darling, you’re going on in 30 minutes.” She said opening the little suitcase on the counter under the mirror.

You put the dress on and sat on the chair in front of the mirror.

“You can keep it simple, all the way. I get more nervous if the hair and makeup are too pretty, afraid of ruining it with my movements and sweat. Which of course, only makes me move and sweat more!” You laughed, trying to make conversation and relax.

“Relax, you’re already beautiful! We can just make some curls and after I’m done with your skin, a good eyeliner and pink lips?” She asked. You were glad she was nice and chill about it.

“Sounds perfect! Do you know who the other guests are? We were kind of squeezed in today.” You laughed again.

“Oh! Yeah! Its -” She started to say but was interrupted but David coming abruptly inside.

“Ok! Don’t freak out!” He said.

“I already am! Why would you come in like that? What is it?” You asked already freaking very much out.

“Its Tom Hanks. And -” He said.

“WHAT? Are you serious? What the hell man?” You tried to move but Rosie pushed you back on your seat.

“Yeah. And Jake Gyllenhaal and Tom Holland. And Stormzy is singing later. They’re promoting Spider-man and Hanks is here for the new Toy Story.” He explained.

“I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m going to die.” You mumbled.

“Well, which one it is darling? I’ll just add some more blush anyway.” She laughed at your reaction.

“Fuck David, they must really be betting on us. Why else would they put us on the same couch as Tom Hanks and those guys? Super-hero guys!” You reasoned with him.

“I was thinking the same thing…” He started to talk but he noticed your expression.

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Relax! You’ll be great! You’ll do great! They were really excited to meet you actually! They love the show!” He told you trying to calm you down.

“Oh, man! What? They’re out there? And they want to meet me? And I’m in here? Oh boy, they must think I’m so rude!” You thought out loud.

“No! No! I told them we were late and you had to get ready. Yes, I chatted with Spider-man and Bumble Boy.” He gloated.

“Bumble boy?” You laughed at him but thanked him with your eyes because you knew he was just trying to distract you. There was a knock on the door and a stage assistant pecked inside.

“Hi! Is Miss (y/l/n) ready? We’re starting in 5 minutes.” She said.

“All ready!” Rosie answered.

“Oh lord. Thank you Rosie.” You were freaking out but didn’t want to forget to thank her.

“Oh! I forgot to mention. Gwyneth Paltrow is here too.” David said before running out of the room.

“WHAT?” You wanted to chase him but were scared to fall from low blood pressure.

[tanoraqui]

okay I have to do this today because even I wouldn’t do it after the godforsaken finale airs, and it’s basically my specialty and I did spend like an hour thinking about it last night while washing dishes. Definitely partly inspired by @words-writ-in-starlight​‘s insightful post on everything Supernatural did wrong, and apologies in advance to all the characters for dragging them into anything related to Christian mythology:

Wei Wuxian’s parents die in a house fire when he’s 6(? I refuse to look anything up) months old

Jiangs are a hunter family I guess? That whole disaster of a family dynamic, except WWX dips out at some point to be idk an environmental activist bc at the time, that seems like the larger threat to the whole world. “Mom and Dad went on a hunting trip and they haven’t come back”, “bitch” “jerk”, 2 brothers in a beat-up old car, you know the drill

Jins are also an old hunting family, but more Men of Letters energy - they have a fancy bunker and do research and avoid getting their actual hands dirty. Jiang Yanli ducked out of the active hunting life a few years ago to be happily married to her peacock and settled down with a baby and she’s fine. We’re not going to bother Yanli. She’s safe and happy and doesn’t need to involved in any of this

so, WWX is the demon blood child developing exciting new abilities like telekinesis, mind control, exorcising demons by sheer force of will...etc, and Jiang Cheng is the Righteous Man. Lucifer, Michael, etc.

s1-3 probably proceeds more or less as spn canon...which I more or less remember...by the time they find their parents at the end of s1, Jiang Fengmian is...ugh, we probably shouldn’t kill him offscreen, I mean, we should probably meet him before he dies. I guess. Madam Yu lasts longer because I’m way more interested in her. But we do know that both Jiang parents are totally inclined to fling the boys into a metaphorical or literal escape boat and go hold the line for as long as possible, so...that’s spn energy...

Xue Yang is the one who’s like “fuck yeah, demon powers” and opens the gates of Hell, because I want him to have nice* things

*nice for Xue Yang

from characterization rather than memory, I’m 90% sure that Dean tried to hide his crossroads deal from Sam, but Jiang Cheng does it...better. I think it does come out, though. Right before the hellhounds do.

here’s where it starts to go farther off from spn canon. Jiang Cheng crawls his way out of the grave, gets stalked by a menacing presence that explodes windows for an episode, incidentally can’t find WWX...*Lan Wangji voice* “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition” (a baller line then and a baller line now)...and then the next episode starts with them all awkwardly standing around, and JC is like, “ok well let’s go find my brother then”, and you think there’s going to be an mdzs-riffing JC+LWJ Roadtrip To Find WWX...and they’re immediately attacked by like a dozen demons

in fact, the first time we see WWX in s4 is here, wherein he goes toe to toe with an angel and...holds his own. that’s new and terrifying! also is leading a squad of demons??

because here’s the thing: for the last 3(?) months, there’s been war in hell

because unlike Some People Mooses, upon finding out that his brother’s soul was legally nearly-owned by a crossroads demon, heir-apparent-to-Satan!WWX went, “actually fuck that” and kicked open the door of Hell (metaphorically, not loosing any demons this time) and was like, “who do I have to beat the shit out of to get a specific crossroads contract around here”

this did not work, obv. He didn’t know until it was too late, Lilith had already snapped up the contract, etc. etc.

obviously he also tried to offer himself instead, and got rejected for some reason

Since Jiang Cheng died, however, there’s been a war for control of Hell. Leading one side, Lilith, the Original Babe, who wants to break all 666(?) seals keeping Lucifer bound and in the meantime, break the Righteous Man so Heaven won’t even have Michael’s destined host ready for the Final Battle. Leading the other side, Wei Wuxian, infamous upstart, who wants to rescue the Righteous Man and restore him to life, tear Lilith’s guts out through her nose, and also stop her from doing the Lucifer thing because Wen Qing explained that yes, that’s a Thing, and it’s Bad.

Wen Qing! I’ve decided to combine Bela and Ruby’s roles and let WQ be both the cool badass example of how demon deals can go Bad and the demon deliberately leading our heroes astray for most of s3-4. Wen Qing is a very new demon; she used to be some sort of herbalist/witch but then she sold her soul in a crossroads deal to cure her brother of some lingering illness. 10 years of happiness and then boom, hellhounds. WQ is so obviously competent, though, that they (Lilith, I guess?) immediately offers her a job, with the promise threat that gee, that’s a nice brother you’ve got there, even with his Designated Chronic Health Condition getting all relapse-y. It’d be such a shame if something were to...happen to him...

we find this out at some point in last s3 I guess? some Monster of the Week case involves WN as a witness or something, or possible next victim, and WQ shows up to be A Normal Amount Of Invested In This, while desperately trying to avoid actually interacting with her brother (who thinks she’s dead). YES, the truth comes out; YES there’s a tearful reunion

now in s4, Wen Ning is fine actually, health-wise, bc he maybe made a crossroads deal with Wei Wuxian personally, and Wen Qing may or may not have admitted that she’s supposed to be working for Lilith to get WWX ready to host Lucifer? Or potentially that comes out later, idk. Either way, she’s 100% his top lieutenant in this exciting Hell War they’re waging

[insert whatever the hell (ha) happened plot-wise in s4 of supernatural]

we obviously mix up the relationships, too, bc it’s like, *LWJ internal monologue* I’m too young to remember my brother Lucifer as he was before he Fell, but surely Wei Wuxian is his Heir and Destined Vessel in truth, for he is Charismatic and Charming and Makes Me Feel Things, with his Clearly Feigned Righteous Drive and Compassion for All God’s Creatures and - why does heat keep pooling in the lower abdomen of my vessel when I look at his lips, which I am definitely doing a Normal and Not-Weird Amount - I’m just keeping an eye out for the famed Silver Tongue, and not in any way wondering how it would feel in my own mouth -

it’s actually DEFINITELY plausible for Lucifer to still be released even if our designated Heir Apparent is using his demon powers to his full potential and no one’s lying to each other about their motives. You just need to let Lilith be more scary too, and especially bc by “no one” I mostly mean Wen Qing; the angels are still totally hiding the fact that they, too, want to jumpstart the shit out of this apocalypse.  LWJ decides at the last minute that that’s a bad idea actually, gets himself discorporated to send JC to intercept WWX because he accidentally releases Lucifer, etc. etc. Oh yeah, the boys were def fighting before this, bc JC has actually fairly reasonable concerns about the sort of things WWX is getting up to in his quest to become King of Hell...

SO

...I neither know nor care what happens in s5

it does end with both Lucifer and Michael locked in the cage probably, bc I rather liked that solution. Fuck both of ‘em, basically.

I was toying with the idea that WWX also found Madam Yu in whatever hellish torment she was suffering after making a deal so her idiot son(s) would survive, and she was leading forces for him in the war against Lilith as well. If she came back to life somehow, body and all, it’d probably be compelling if she offered her own body to Michael - bc it’s her lineage! - and we’re all led to believe that she’s, uh, being a bitch and actually wants to risk destroying the world in order to destroy all demons...but then she seizes back control and flings herself/Michael and Lucifer into the Pit, because she’s just That Hardcore?

which means we’d actually have had her around and having characterization for most of s4-5, too, which would be fun

More importantly, it ends with newly crowned King of Hell Wei Wuxian appointing Wen Qing as Queen-Regent and ditching to go on an indefinite honeymoon with his new angel boyfriend (they’re going to fuck for like three weeks straight, then roll up their sleeves and go conquer Heaven in the name of free will), and Jiang Cheng gets to live out his hitherto-unknown-to-himself life’s ambition to be the sugar baby of the Queen of Hell. It’s very Hades/Persephone, except he goes back down to the underworld at least once a month. He gets his own demon squad whom he trains up in all the hunting techniques and it’s gr9. Wen Qing is reforming the crossroads deal process to make it more fair to the humans.

the end

Addenda:

it should go without saying but Jiang Yanli is definitely a recurring character, like, at least once a season there’s a filler episode where they go to Jiang Yanli’s for dinner and have to get along as a family, and also do the much easier job of defeating some sort of terrible demon that gets loose in the bunker and turns the evening into a horror movie. She’s their main research/emotional check-in person, a la Bobby, more often appearing in later seasons when there’s, uhhh, more to emotionally check in about.

Jin Zixuan is actually a perfectly competent hunter; he’s just a priss and we don’t Like him

we like Mianmian, though. Oh, I guess the official Hunter’s Guild or w/e tries to declare WWX a public enemy on account of the whole “King of Hell” thing and she’s like “actually what if you’re morons and assholes?” and joins hte team in s4 or 5? Yeah.

idk how the 3zun disaster happens in this ‘verse but I do encourage it to be happening in slow motion as a recurring subplot for several seasons. NMJ is a hunter, LXC is obv an angel, and JGY is...I wanna say one of the more human monsters, like a vampire? Or, you know, something that could be born from JGS sleeping with someone/something he shouldn’t have