#they eat tuna together lmao

[kindred-spirit-93]

hilal and will <3

first draft:

the awesome: floofy haired baby will

the good: baby will solace infodumping abt bugs for the soul

the bad: fixed the blazer to be looser, hair can be better lol

the ugly: messed up the face. pencil lineart was better :')

final sketch:

the awesome: they both look happy aw enjoy it while it lasts :')

the good: the blazer looks much better unbuttoned

the bad: colours could be more vibrant maybe? idk hilal looks washed out (which she is so imma pull a lit teacher move and say its symbolic)

the ugly: im too harsh on myself. not bad (at all) for a first go ^-^

[djsangos]

//me: hmm maybe i'll get some tacos at the convenience store on the way home for lunch...

me: *spends $70 on groceries*

me: .......y'know what i can make lunch at home

[rowanhoney]

Oh OHHHHH I’ve drank sm tea I feel wonderful

[vivwritesfics]

Requesting either combo Landoscar x male!reader or separately x male!reader pretty please (whatever floats your boat in terms of story, I love your writing style)

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! i've actually been thinking about this for the longest time, but every time i sit down to write i forget about it lmao. I used to write male reader all the time and I've missed tf out of it

It was an unprecedented situation, they found themselves in. Drivers being together wasn't. Look at Nico and Lewis, look at Max and Daniel, look at Max and Charles, look at Max and...

Teammates spent so much time together, it was expected that they were to fall into bed together. But this was new. Nobody really knew what to do with this.

Lando and Oscar stood outside of Zac's office, both of them leaning against the wall behind them. Lando had his hands folded over his chest and Oscar's hands were in his pockets. Neither of them touching, but the team knew exactly what was going on with the two of them.

But they didn't know about the man in the office.

No, not Zac (I might throw up at that lmao). The ex Formula Two champion stood in Zac's office, going over his requirements as a reserve driver.

"When do I get to drive?" He asked.

Zac laughed. "If one of those two breaks their legs or something, you can drive," he said.

A grin crossed his face. "I can make that happen."

They discussed when he'd be put into the car for practice sessions and things like that. His media duties with Lando and Oscar and more. They never crossed into the topic of his relationship with the drivers, not yet, anyway. That was a meeting to have with all three of them.

When he walked out of the office, Lando and Oscar straightened up. "So?" Oscar asked as he and Lando walked towards him.

He shrugged, but then a grin crossed his face. "Zac said I can drive if I break one of your arms," he said. "Who wants to go first?"

Lando threw his arms around his shoulders and dragged him away from the office, down the stairs in the MTC. "You're a little shit," he said through a laugh as the three of them made their way outside, to their cars.

"No more than you!" Oscar called as he jumped in. He grabbed him, pulled him away from Lando and into him. His lips met the top of his head as he fished the keys from his pockets.

Lando and Oscar had shown up in their expensive cars that couldn't hold more than two people. Now, that wouldn't do. But it was fine, because he had his shitty little ford fiesta that he loved more than anything in the world.

"I'm driving," Lando said, raising his hand for Oscar to throw him the keys.

"The fuck you are," he replied, catching the keys before Lando could. "It's my car."

Ever since he'd met the two drivers, he'd wanted a truck, one with a bench seat so that they could all sit in the front. Lando climbed into the passenger seat and Oscar climbed into the back. Lando reached forward to touch the radio, but he playfully slapped his hand away as he pulled away from the MTC.

"We're in my car, we listen to my music," he said as he pulled onto Guildford road and headed towards Woking. "What're we thinking for lunch?"

"Waitrose sandwiches?" Lando offered.

"Waitrose sandwiches," Oscar agreed.

The boys got themselves Waitrose sandwiches and got back into the car. They knew a dinner between the three of them would have looked weird, them crowding around a table, trying to eat. (Well, it wouldn't have looked weird, but there was a certain amount of paranoia that came with the three of them being together).

It wasn't romantic, the three of them sat in an empty car park as they ate their sandwiches. The moment Oscar opened his tuna sandwich, Lando let out a groan and scrambled to wind down the window.

"Want some?" He offered Lando. Lando leaned forward and bit into his sandwich, tearing off a corner of it. He hummed as he ate and offered him some of his own sandwich.

Oscar tried to do the same, but the moment he thrust his sandwich forward, Lando pushed open the door to the car and let out a retching noise, pretending to throw up.

"I don't think he's gonna kiss you after this, Osc," he mumbled through a laugh as he dug into his own food.

"Damn fucking right!" Lando shouted, sucking in deep gulps of fresh air, air that didn't smell like tuna.

Oscar rolled his eyes but leaned forward again. As soon as he did, he was kissing him, looking at Lando. Lando who was too busy with his head out of the window to watch the show. "I don't think it's working, Osc," He said against his lips.

He mumbled a quiet fuck it and climbed his way into the back with Oscar. If they were gonna make Lando jealous enough to join them, they were going to do it right.

[anxiouseldergod]

hiii I love the premise of your au ✨️

I was wondering about a couple things..

1. is grim part of it?

2. what about ace and Deuce? what do they do? I think it would cute if they were still super close to reader (I'm totally NOT a huge fan of the heartshackle dynamic /s)

I wrote way more on this then I meant to lmao

While I do intend for this to be an x reader series thingy, this is more of a "how you met" scenario, so it doesn't really have any romance.

It's kind of long, so it's all below the cut!

I had planned to include Grim in my post going over my au, actually! I ended up writing it in the middle of the night though and completely forgot to add him there lol

In my au, Grim lives with the reader as their familiar! Maybe it's an overused trope to make him their familiar in au's, but I have this cute image in my head of him trying to help around both the shops.

struggling to reach certain shelves to fill them with books of magical items, napping on the counters next to you while you're working, going out with you while collect herbs...

I adore my dumbass son.

as for adeuce? I feel like they would be regular customers at the magic shop, always stocking up on healing items.

I see them as rookie (but surprisingly successful) adventurers.

They were trained by family members, Ace learned from his older brother and Deuce from his mom (a now retired adventurer).

They ended up joining the same guild, Heartslabyul, which is based in one of the cities nearby.

As the two newest members, they often get paired up together, much to their dismay.

I feel like they heard rumors of the magic shop in the woods and got curious, wanting to know if it was actually real.

So, they set out, going deeper and deeper into the dark woods. Just when they thought maybe it wasn't real, they stumbled across you.

They were certainly surprised to find you living in the woods with just your familiar to keep you company.

Entering your shop, they were immensely disappointed to see a bookstore instead of a magic shop.

You greet them politely, smiling from behind the counter.

"Welcome! Feel free to look around, let me know if you need anything."

While neither of them are at all interested in the books you have, they decide to look around anyway. They came all this way, after all.

The two boys disappear from you line of sight, conversing quietly as they browse the shelves despite their lack of interest. Grim looks up from the can of tuna he was eating, ear twitching as he stares in their direction curiously.

After finishing his snack, Grim wanders away from you, toward where the two had gone. He weaves through the maze of shelves, peeking out from behind one. He watches the boys argue quietly.

"No, I told you it wasn't real! But you just had to come see!"

"What? How is this my fault? You wanted to come too.."

The back and forth continues for a moment as Grim watches from the side. The whole scene is greatly amusing to him and, without realizing, he lets out a small laugh.

Ace and Deuce pause in their useless bickering, turning to stare at the laughing creature. They look thoroughly confused by him, clearly never having seen anything like him. Ace speaks up first.

"Hang on, is that weird cat laughing at us–"

Grim's face immediately changes as the fire coming from his ears burns a little brighter. He stomps his little foot, tail swishing angrily.

"I am NOT a cat!"

The boys jump a bit, deuce accidentally backing into the bookshelf behind him.

"Why can it talk?!" He shouts, before seemingly remembering the sign that told him to keep quiet. He tries again, whisper shouting this time. "Why can it talk?!"

Grim looks even more upset at this. "Why can you talk? Clearly you don't have anything smart to say!"

Ace laughs at this, snorting before covering his mouth in an attempt to hide his amusement. Deuce notices this and elbows him.

Grim turns to Ace, hands on his hips as he speaks to him. "You don't seem much smarter, you know."

Now, Ace is upset. He yells at Grim, not worried about keeping his voice down. "What would some ugly kitten know about me anyway?"

Grim is even more offended now. In his upset, he gets the bright not idea to scare the two with with his fire magic. He breathes a blue flames toward them, successfully scaring them like he had intended.

However, he didn't account for Deuce's reaction.

"I summon thee, cauldron!"

A large cauldron comes crashing down from seemingly nowhere. It hits the bookshelf beside them and sends it crashing to the ground,

Grim manages to mostly avoid the disaster, but ends up getting his tail smashed by a stray book. A rather large one too. He yelps in pain, shooting more fire magic out reflexively.

Ace and Deuce look on in horror as the book shelf falls over completely, Grim's flames catching on the books. The smoke builds up around them, making it hard to see.

Suddenly, the fire is put out all at once.

As the smoke clears, the three of them see you angry face as you survey the damage they caused.

Grim scrambles behind your legs, holding his sore tail and glaring at the adventurers.

Deuce is practically tripping over himself trying to apologize, but is abruptly stopped as you inspect the cauldron on the ground.

"You use magic?"

You can see the color drain from their faces at your question. Their both stammering, coming up with lame excuses or trying to change the subject.

Ace is sure you'll snitch about Deuce's magic, and he'll get busted for keeping it a secret. He's (overly) confident that he can escape the law if he has to, but he's more worried about how his brother will react.

Deuce is sure he'll never go another quest, then he'll never achieve his dream of becoming a legendary adventurer! He can already see his mother's disappointed face when she hears that her only son was locked up due to illegal use of summoning magic. Which is why he's so confused when he hears you laugh.

"What a terrible display! You're not very experienced are you?" You say, a smile growing on you face. You turn to Ace. "I'm assuming you use it too, right? Actually, no need to answer, I can sense your magic energy."

Grim looks up at you incredulously. "Why are ya laughin'? Aren't ya gonna tear into 'em for the mess they made?"

You smile to yourself, closing your eyes as you think for a moment. "Oh, you're all in trouble, Grim. But I think this might actually work in my favor."

You turn back to Ace and Deuce, who stand there in confusion. "You were here looking for The Moon's Alcove, right? Come with me!"

Bewildered, the boys and Grim follow you from the chaos of your destroyed bookshelf. They watch as you unlock the door in the back. You lead them through it, into your magic shop while ignoring their awed expressions.

"Here it is!" You exclaim, arms out as you gesture to your secret shop. "I run the place. Here lately I've had more customers than usual. It's difficult for me to mange the shops and gather materials for potions and other items. Obviously, I can't trust Grim to go alone."

Your familiar makes an offended sound from beside your feet.

"As payment for the damage you've caused here today, I'd like the two of you to gather my materials." You explain.

"Like, a job?" Ace asks, sneering at the thought of extra work.

"Mhm! Should be easy since adventurers like you are always exploring and foraging anyway. I'll even pay you, you'll get extra if you can find me some magical items or artifacts."

Deuce puts his hand to chin, looking around the colorful shop as muses aloud. "I mean, if it keeps us out of trouble..."

You clap your hands together, magic flying from them in little sparkles due to your excitement. "I would never snitch! I'm in no position to anyway. So, do we have a deal?"

The boys look to each other, shrugging as they come to a silent conclusion.

"I guess?"

"Great!" You clap again. "I actually forgot to mention something though, since this is to repay me for the damage to my precious books, I actually won't be paying you the firs two weeks."

"What?!" They exclaim in unison.

Ace crosses his arms. "Repayment of not, what makes you think we'll do this for free? What if we just run off and don't come back, huh?"

Before they can complain further, you take a small pouch from your pocket. Carefully, you pour a small amount of red powder into you hand and then toss it into the air above their heads. It drifts down onto them as you say a few mysterious words with your hands clasped together, they glow slightly.

"There! Now if you try to weasel out of this, your heads will explode!"

The boys look horrified at this statement, backing away from you quickly. Ace takes back his previous words, assuring you he they'll do their job well.

Eventually, a few more terms are worked out between you and them and they leave. It's agreed that they'll spend the next few days searching for the materials you listed and then bring them to you at a specific date.

Not long after they leave does it begin to grow dark out. You sit on your bed, gently applying a mild healing ointment to Grim's sore tail.

After a moment of silence, he speaks. "Are ya really gonna explode their heads if they don't listen?"

You laugh, shaking your head. "Of course not, that's way too far."

"Then what was that powder you put on 'em?"

"Paprika."

[kojitheopossum]

ur sirensong au is so cool dude i would love to know more about bdubs and etho if u have the chance. like is etho a mammal. is he so big because because of polar gigantism

Hehe tysm !!! You have no idea how excited I am to answer this one, i’m going to be majoring in biology lmao. Etho is not a mammal although that is an interesting idea. He belongs to a family of sea serpents, which evolved from a common eel like ancestors millions of years ago. These creatures all tend to be somewhat similar, varying in size, color, and hunting styles. His species is the newest evolved, but the other genus members/transitional forms died out from competition as the oceans climate warmer and pushed them further together in the north for food. This was also influenced by their solitary and very territorial behavior, which is also why they originally started attacking large boats, mistaking them for other leviathan. Quickly they learned that the creatures on these structures were a good food source. Although most sea serpents still stuck to eating either lots of small fish at a time like whale shark or hunting larger prey like whales, humans soon became a reliable food source and thus the species etho evolved quickly to become specialized at hunting them. The more human like the fish appeared, the more likely it would live to reproduce. Like I mentioned in a different ask, he mainly uses aggressive mimicry. Siren are typically depicted in this worlds media as more human sized purely because of how young they are when they are encountered by humans. Ethos size is absolutely influenced by polar/deep sea gigantism like you mentioned, but his species is also one that more or less doesn’t stop growing. That being said, his growth has become exponentially less over time, so he’s practically hit the limit.

The fact he’s stayed alive so long is competely due to him staying put in an area with few visitors. Although he is specialized to hunt humans, sirens still hunt other fish, typically sharks and tuna, and that’s what he mainly relied on. Etho is also very cautious when it comes to members of his own species. He was attacked when he was very young by a much older siren, and since then he stayed mostly hidden from fear. The only time siren are seen near each other is to mate, but etho couldn’t care less. He isn’t sure if other siren are also conscious like him, but he’s sure that there’s a large chance he’s not alone. Also, in one of my concept sketches I think I claimed etho was Wellll over 1000 years old but i’ve since retracted that, he’s actually around 800. He spent more than half of that time asleep though, spending months drifting along the bottom of the ocean half awake after hunting. If i get around to it, this is a plot point in the story, so spoilers ig, but etho while in captivity is much more awake because he is fed much much Much less, thus relying on being fed daily instead of being able to go for months without food.

Etho’s long sharp teeth resemble fangtooth moray eels, and similar to the moray uses these teeth to puncture and hold prey in place rather than actually kill. However, unlike the moray, he doesn’t have multiple sets of jaws. The one he does have splits open at the bottom, so he can open his mouth much wider when hunting then a regular human like mouth would normally allow. His jaw is also very strong, being able to crush prey once it’s captured. The spiky fins lining his dorsal and ventral region are not to aid in hunting, but as protection from other siren. He is also able to wrap around larger prey to either strangle or just hold them in place.

Sorry i just ranted about etho and didn’t mentions bdubs, he’s just a normal dude. If you are curious about him, he grew up in the country working in his family’s building business before getting bored and moving to the city to figure out what he really wants to do. The reason he’s working for the aquarium is entirely because he needs a job since getting booted from his last one at a cafe, and his friend scar knows a lot of people. That’s it lmao.

[poptabcat]

my plan ~` (under 550kcals!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hello ! this is my written plan and what i will be eating for my weight loss, obviously random things like binges and purging will be thrown in at times but this is the main thing and over time i will likely made edits and additons! any tips and advice is welcome :3

breakfast|○ two eggs, either scrambled, sunnyside, or hard-boiled. and maybe a piece of bread or a piece of bacon :3

lunch|○ hummus with carrots or cucumber (or) 8 strawberries with 2 tsp of greek yogurt

snacks|○ low cal jelly (or) a 5oz can of water GV tuna (or) 1 serving size of jerky (or) an orange

dinner|○ none, or js alot of warm diet coke.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how many cals/protein in everything and added up:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(any number ending in g is hw many grams of protein)

70cals 6g in an egg and x2 = 140cals, and 12g 75cals 2.7g in a slice of bread 43cals 3g in a strip of bacon … 25cals 1.2g in a tbsp of hummus and, x4 = 100 and 4.8g 4cals 0.1g in 1 baby carrot, and x15 = 52cals and 1.5g 45cals and 0.65g in 1 cucumber 40cals and 5.36g in 8 strawberries … 5cals 1g in 1 cup low cal jelly 80cals 17g in a 5oz can of GV tuna 80cal 12g 28 pieces of jerky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

all added up:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVERYTHING, together is 660cals and 60.01g ( i think, im bad at math lmao)

319 cals and with just the eggs, bread, and hummus and carrots (minimum and probably all i will be eating, along with the additional snacks :3)

just breakfast (everything): 258cals and 17.7g

just lunch (everything): 237cals and 12.31g

just snacks (everything): 165cals and 30g

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and there u go!! ill likely update this soon and alot of times but thats js the basics for now! :D along with everything ill be chugging alot of water, tea, and diet drinks :3 <3

love u guys~ :3

[fyodors-husband]

I love your newest hcs! I was wondering if you could make some fyodor x shibusawa headcannons? Sfw and nsfw? If not that’s Okie Dokie! Have a good day!

thank you anon!!!

I'm so happy more people are requesting, it gives me motivation to actually write lmao

I will absolutely I am the No°1. ShibuFyo fan. It's one of my top 3 BSD ships

CW: Slight OOC, nsfw, dragon traits described, dead apple spoilers, some angst (?), fyodor is a manipulator 😔

°~•~○~°~•~○_FLUFF BELOW THE CUT_○~•~°~○~•~°

They definitely took some time to accept they liked each other

Was probably one sided at first

They both have a hard time showing affection, especially in public

Their PDA is litterally eye contact

When their alone they'll watch movies together, might hold hands when they do

Shibusawa puts on a Japanese movie and fyodor can barely understand it

Fyodor puts on a Russian (probably soviet) movie and shibusawa is just lost

(Fyodor strikes me as the type to like soviet cinematography)

If they end up having enough time to cook at home they'll fight over who gets to cook because they both think the others food is weird (until they try it and like it)

Shibusawas favorite thing that fyodor makes is probably beet and prune salad or syrniky (no idea how to spell it in English, it's like pancakes sort of)

Fyodors favorite thing that shibuswa makes is probably tuna onigiri or soba noodles

they like to eat in silence, maybe some music in the background

Once they get close enough they sleep in the same bed, cuddling isn't huge (when their awake)

They'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed and then wake up smoshed and snuggled together

°~•~○~°~•~○_NSFW BELOW THE CUT_○~•~°~○~•~°

Takes alot I mean ALOT of time for them to get to this point

Like years (This is in character, if we're talking OOC maybe a few months like normal relationships)

The reaaon I say it takes years is because they both have their own belief system about it, and their bith not very trusting people

Once they finally do get to this point it's going to happen fast and slow at the same time

they genuinely fight over who tops

They end up switching who tops everytime because neither of them like being controlled by another person

The first time it's pretty basic and slow, getting used to each other and things like that

After they've done it a few times it gets rougher, as I said they fight for who tops so obviously whoever gets top os going to be cocky about it

And whoever doesn't is going to be not necessarily a brat but close to

Shibusawa is bigger than fyodor (don't attack me I'm sorry 😭)

Shibusawa has scales, definitely, mostly by his important organs and on his back

Since scales are mostly used as armour for dragons anyways

i thought I would have more for NSFW but when I try to think about it in character I don't have that many actually 😔

Sorry it's short anon, I wanted to make it as in charcter as possible and even though I LOVE shibusawa I haven't done as much of a deep dive into his character as I have others, once I do trust i will make better HC's

Thank you all for reading, likes and reblogs help if you enjoyed!

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@ckfemslashnetwork

COBRA KAI SAPPHIC SUMMER WEEK 1 HEATWAVE

***

I don’t want no drama But I know you’re looking at me Got the body of Madonna Like a virgin, make it sticky, sticky

Take me to nirvana Get me up out of this city And I know you got a woman So the situation’s sticky

Know you like what you see You look so damn good on me Like you’re good enough to eat Now you’re stuck in my teeth Got me picking out a ring Baby, I got an idea

Hey, I should be your next girlfriend And she should be your ex girlfriend Hey, you should be my next girlfriend La-la-la, ooh, mmm, la-la-la

Hey, I should be your next girlfriend And she should be your ex girlfriend Hey, you should be my next girlfriend La-la-la, ooh, mmm, la-la-la

California summer Like a popsicle, it’s dripping You’re an Arizona stunner Like a tea, I wanna sip it, sip it

Let me give you sugar You’re my spicy tuna, sticky, sticky Spicy like a rumor You’re my hallelujah, sticky

If you like what you see You look so damn good on me Like you’re good enough to eat, ah-ah

Now you’re stuck in my teeth Got me picking out a ring Baby, I got an idea

Hey, I should be your next girlfriend And she should be your ex girlfriend Hey, you should be my next girlfriend La-la-la, ooh, mmm, la-la-la

Hey, I should be your next girlfriend And she should be your ex girlfriend Hey, you should be my next girlfriend

***

AKSDJNHKUYFGDRKY YES ONE LAST MINUTE SUBMISSION BEFORE THE EVENT IS OVER I KNOW I'M CUTTING IT CLOSE

So this was actually the first fic I started writing specifically for this event, and then I didn't get anywhere near how much I wanted of the preview done by the end of the first week D: So I'm submitting what I have now! Still didn't get to what I was really hyped about (i.e. the spicy bits lmao), but oh well! Can't have time for everything, I guess. At least this post probably won't get filtered now?

So since this was the first fic I wrote for YasMoon in a while, it was absolutely the clunkiest when I went back to edit ^^; I had to spend way more time than I thought just cleaning the damn thing up and getting it on par with my later (and comparatively much better) fic snippets for the femslash event XD With that said, forgive me if it's still a little rough--I was kinda rushing to finish by the event ending D:

For anyone wondering about the ship tags--I know this is YasMoon-centric right now, but I promise MoonPiper will play a bigger role in the finished fic! Moon is dating Piper at the time this fic takes place, which is, ah...definitely going to complicate things. And also make Yasmine really salty. This girl is not one bit happy that she missed her chance like an idiot XD

BTW that top left pic of Yasmine giving Moon a once-over is the Screenshot of All Time. Girl is so ready to take her on the floor that instant. Like!!! Get it together, Yas!!! You are in public, babe!!!

Yasmine's older influencer sister Rosalie who lives in Big Bear makes an appearance here!!! I really love writing about her for some reason. Like I genuinely can't remember the last time I've been this jazzed about fleshing out a fandom OC, aside from some ship lovechildren I made ages ago XD But idk idk I just think she's neat!!! And I wanted to give Yas a family member she has a quasi-good relationship with, since I HC she has difficulties with homophobic parents.

CW for open-ish discussions of teen sexuality and some dirty innuendos.

***

“Thanks for coming out with me today.”

Yasmine watches Moon climb in the new Porche. Hair tied back, smile relaxed, patterned orange dress sweeping in a delicate cloud around tanned legs.

So much of her’s just the same. Impressive that a whole summer full of karate drama bullshit didn’t even bruise that carefree, easygoing spirit.

If anything, it strengthened. Perhaps out of spite, whether or not Moon was consciously aware of it.

Some parts have definitely shifted, though. There’s an iron resolve that’s grown under those thin shawls and short skirts. An extra coat of armor she’s sprouted, thanks to Hawk. Thanks to Yasmine.

Her stomach twists guiltily. It’s the kind of protection someone like Moon should never have to develop.

The world is a cruel place. Unfair, cutthroat, brutal to anyone who doesn’t fit the proper “mold.” Yasmine’s always known that.

She just never thought she’d be the one to teach it to Moon, with her friend’s wide-eyed naiveté and innocent hope that no one was that shitty a person—only misguided.

Yasmine knows she’s the exception to that rule.

“Are you okay?”

She blinks. Reclined in the passenger’s seat, Moon’s fixing her with the kind of concerned gaze she almost never deserves.

“Yeah.” It comes out sharper than she means. A habit she should probably work on. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You…were staring at me and idling the car. You’re kind of out of it. Should we stop for iced coffee?”

“Right.” Yasmine forces a smile. “Was just, ah…thinking about how I’m relieved we can hang out again. Don’t make fun of me for being a sappy bitch, but I missed you.”

Moon laughs—and oh god, she missed that too.

Not that she’ll ever admit it aloud, but it was horrendously stupid to think she could cut Moon off. To think she wouldn’t come crawling back, mesmerized like some idiot in a spy movie falling into the world’s most obvious honey trap.

Not that Moon would ever intentionally honeypot anyone. But she has a way of making you care too much, and not realizing it until it’s too late to save yourself.

“Same,” Moon says. “Actually really glad you’re not still mad at me.”

“Oh, no, I am. Incredibly lame of you to ditch me for a guy who looks like the main character of a budget Sonic the Hedgehog live action remake. But I guess I’ll let it slide this once.”

Moon bursts out snickering—the same way she always has when Yasmine’s bluntness catches her off-guard. There’s something comforting about the familiarity.

“Appreciated,” Moon says.

As they weave out of the hilly Encino neighborhood, Yasmine’s grip on the steering wheel loosens. She didn’t even realize she was squeezing.

“Although I’d be an idiot to turn down iced coffee,” she adds. “Maybe if we wait ‘til we get there, we can Instagram it.”

“Damn. If I knew you were in the mood, I would’ve made you some for the cooler.”

Yasmine winces.

It was a habit they’d fallen into their freshman year. Moon fiddled around with her parents’ coffee machine, using Yasmine as her guinea pig to test out various experimental lattes. Yasmine had tried just about every plant-based creamer under the sun now—and shockingly, even found a handful that didn’t taste like shit. It never failed to make her feel pampered and cared for, even if some of Moon’s combinations were a little…unconventional. (She’s pretty sure Moon spiked her oat milk hazelnut latte with hemp once.)

Something about Moon being so ready to pick the kind gesture back up—after everything—makes Yasmine feel like a horrible person all over again.

“It’s fine.” Her voice is tight. “My mom doesn’t give a shit if we get some food on the credit card. And those kinda covert promo posts get more likes, anyway.”

They turn onto the 405 entrance ramp, where 11 a.m. traffic is already moving as if the entire freeway is stuck in a swamp. Apparently they aren’t the only teenagers trying to get in one last beach trip before the school year.

Speaking of. Moon’s end-of-summer party is in a few days. Which Yasmine will have to miss because…reasons.

Or one reason, mainly. One sharp-eyed, curly-haired, leather-jacket-wearing, much-hotter-than-Yasmine reason.

Ugh.

Her concern isn’t her and Piper getting catty with each other—although she certainly wouldn’t rule it out. She’s much more worried about what’ll happen if she actually likes Piper.

Because Moon deserves someone kind and considerate who treats her well. And the past year or so, she’s had pretty shit luck with that.

And yet. Yasmine has a feeling Piper could be the best girlfriend to ever grace the planet, and the sight of her would still feel like a knife to the gut.

I’m sorry, I wish I could. Ros is having this influencer mixer thing in Big Bear and my parents will kill me if I don’t go.

She’s ironed out the excuse a thousand times, and it sounds plausible enough. Moon knows Yasmine’s parents are crazy, and obsessed with everything their precious Rosalie does.

Hopefully it’ll suffice to not further strain an already-frayed thread. A thread Yasmine’s trying to duct tape back together.

“It’s a shame Sam couldn’t make it,” Moon pipes up suddenly.

Yasmine freezes.

She’s not sure where she and Sam stand. If Yasmine had her way, they’d be done. She seriously doubts there wasn’t any truth to what Kyler told her and Moon.

Besides, Yasmine would bet good money Sam’ll throw her lot in with Aisha next year, now that Aisha’s everyone’s favorite fucking wedgie-giving bitch, apparently.

But Moon’s fond of Sam. Apparently, they rekindled their friendship while she was in France.

While Moon still didn’t know if she and Yasmine were going to patch things up. While she believed it was best to let Yasmine go and make things right with all the people her ex best friend hurt.

And Yasmine doesn’t think trying to get her way in the Sam matter will do much to help her hold onto the friend that, against all odds, she managed to get back.

“Yeah,” Yasmine lies. “A shame.”

“Guess she’s too busy with her new dojo boyfriend.”

Moon snickers again. Yasmine glances over, eyebrows raised.

“Her what now?”

“Didn’t you see her Instagram story? She and this guy she met through karate, they’re totally—wait.” Moon’s eyes widen as Yasmine frowns in confusion. “Did you unfollow her?!”

Yasmine’s eyes flick back to the road, chest turning in embarrassment. Before she can think of an excuse, Moon gasps in smug delight.

“Oh, you petty bitch.”

Yasmine huffs. “Look, her stupid ex-bestie embarrassed me in front of the entire school! Forgive me for thinking we weren’t really on following terms.”

Her friend only laughs, seemingly content not to rib any further. Another thing Yasmine’ll have to add to the list of neverending things she’s grateful to Moon for.

How annoying. She already owes Moon so much, and it’s only getting worse.

“Then I guess I’ll have to catch you up myself,” Moon says. “So when Sam started doing karate again, her dad was training this other guy, too. They hit it off, apparently. But she hasn’t told her dad they’re together yet because this kid’s also living with them because his home life is really bad so the LaRussos invited him to stay in their spare room so he could actually get regular meals—”

“Wait, wait.” Despite herself, Yasmine’s overcome with morbid curiosity. “Miyagi Do or whatever, right? Please tell me Sam’s new boytoy isn’t the same freakshow who tried to hit on me on my birthday. Donatello, or whatever the fuck you said his name was.”

Moon chuckles. “What, Demetri?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Yasmine makes a face. “The I-promise-I’m-not-a-stalker-I-just-watch-you-across-the-cafeteria guy. I’d honestly be shocked if he ever landed a girl.”

“Well, he does karate, too. Not like Miguel and Robby, though.” She lets out a dreamy sigh, gazing out the window. “I’ve gotta take you to the next AVT. So many hotties there.”

Yasmine might be sick.

“Right, yeah. Totally my dream to land some shrieking, possessive, testosterone-loaded freak who tattoos my name on him without me asking and then tries to use it to guilt me to stay with him after he beats people up over Yelp reviews. Husband material right there.”

Moon winces. Yasmine doesn’t hold back a smug grin.

The hopeful naiveté can be endearing, but Moon really should have known better than that one.

“They’re not all like that,” she mumbles.

“Come on.” Yasmine scoffs. “In what world would I want some gross, sweaty braindead maniac rubbing himself all over me and acting like I’m his pretty little bitch on a leash? Hard fucking pass.”

She’s thrown off by Moon’s dubious look.

“Didn’t you used to get Kyler to beat up anyone who got in your way?”

“Well, yeah, but that was different. It was a convenience thing—I didn’t get some disgusting girl hard-on because of it.”

The very thought makes her shudder. Boys are good for intimidation purposes, but their uses end there.

Yasmine shuffles her legs, stomach tightening. If…well, that was the rent she might have to eventually pay for guys like Kyler to do her bidding, then to hell with it—she’d do her dirty work herself.

***

“So Rosalie really got lost at the Cannes film festival.”

Moon’s body bends gracefully as she flaps the beach towel out behind her. The wind catches it perfectly, straightening it as she guides it to the ground.

Yasmine tracks her movements, insides aching. Gleaming, sun-kissed skin, perfectly curved body, silky chestnut hair…

She’s such a fucking tease. And from the way she’s deliberately taking her time squatting to put down the towel and stretching up again…

She damn well knows it.

Well, two can play at this game.

“Oh, yeah.” Yasmine sets their cooler down and strides over to her friend. “She knows some actor who was supposed to get us into this premier, but he got sidetracked schmoozing on the main walkway. Apparently Christopher Nolan was there, and—”

Moon begins to open their umbrella. Yasmine gently but firmly takes it away. “Here, let me.”

“Are you sure?” Moon looks worried. Cute. “It’s big, Yas. It’ll crush you.”

“Oh, please. I’m taller than you! Besides.” She fixes Moon with a conniving smirk. “You and Sam aren’t the only ones who get to feel up long, hard rods.”

As she slides her fingers across the umbrella handle, Moon giggles, scandalized. “I…didn’t know you liked that sort of thing.”

“See, umbrellas aren’t whiny, boring little shits who never shut up about how great their handle is, or cry when you tell them a different umbrella has a better handle.”

“Anyhow.” Yasmine slung the umbrella over one shoulder. “Ros’s actor friend vanishes, so she runs off to find him, right? In, y’know, that one slutty green gala gown she wears in all the party makeup tutorial livestreams. She got yanked into some side tent because they actually thought she was co-starring in the new JLo movie! Was like an hour before we found her.”

She saunters across the towel and plants the umbrella in the sand as she recounts the story. Moon’s eyes wander across her, as palpable a sensation as heat rays tracing her back in a tanning salon.

Yasmine smirks. Moon likes strong people? Girls in leather jackets and boys who dive into punching showdowns?

Hell, she can be strong, too. Just because she prefers others to do the work for her doesn’t mean she’s not capable.

She stands on her toes as she cranks the umbrella open, making a point to flex long, thin legs as she does it. She takes her time adjusting the thing, letting the sun catch a blinding gleam in her summery cyan manicure.

A breeze ruffles the skirt of Yasmine’s sundress, cool air brushing against her back legs. She makes no effort to stop this.

Maybe Moon will enjoy the view. Would do her some good to remember what she’s missing.

“You, um…you doing okay with that?”

Moon’s completely flustered. Yasmine’s so self-satisfied it could eat her up.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” she says airily. “Just a bit awkward. But if Kyler’s not gonna be around to lift shit for me, then I’m not about to wait around for someone else who will.”

“I mean, I could go bat my eyelashes at one of those surfer guys and get them to help us. Not like it would be hard.”

Yasmine shudders.

“What, and have to deal with him trying to menage-a-trois us all day? It’d cause more problems than it’d solve.”

She loosens her fingers—strategically enough that the umbrella tie toppling to the sand looks like an accident. As it hits the beach, she groans.

“Ugh. Damn thing.”

Yasmine slowly inches her feet apart, bending at the waist and making sure her…well, her back end is as noticeable as it will go without looking ridiculous.

Maybe it’s her imagination, but she swears Moon sucks in her breath.

Yasmine spends several seconds plodding through the sand, umbrella tie in full sight the entire time. When the search is convincing enough, she grabs the tie and quickly stands back up.

“Did you just use the Legally Blonde Bend-and-Snap on me?”

It’s Yasmine’s turn to blush.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on. The thing where you pretend to drop something so you can lean down and get it and show off your ass. I know you’re not that openly slutty unless you want someone to see.”

Yasmine stares at the umbrella, face probably making her look like she ditched the sunscreen today. She’s not about to let Moon see.

“Oh, don’t be so enamored with yourself! Not everything is about you.”

Moon snickers. “Yeah, but that sure was.”

“Ugh. You can’t prove that.”

“I may as well be able to. Your aura’s all full of it.”

Yasmine fingers the hem of her dress, growing more and more flustered.

Moon didn’t used to be this cheeky. Or this…bold. Learning to stand up for herself sure gave the girl a self-made remodel.

And it’s driving Yasmine absolutely insane.

She wants to scream. Wail. Pull her hair. Beat her fists in the sand.

Anything to fight off the effect this New Moon is having on her.

But to hell with it. She hasn’t pulled her last ace yet.

“So are we ready to hit the waves or what?” She takes a deep breath, finally turning back to Moon and gesturing toward the lapping ocean. “It’s hot as shit out, and I didn’t come here just to tan.”

“Sure. But let me grab a drink first.”

As Moon reaches into the cooler, Yasmine starts to peel off her hot pink sundress. She makes a point not to rush, wanting to savor her friend’s reaction.

Oh, she’ll love this.

When Moon turns around, she nearly chokes on her Arizona iced tea.

“You didn’t.”

Yasmine smirks. “I did.”

The other girl shakes her head, mouth tightening. “You really just—ugh.”

“What?” Yasmine bats her lashes, feigning innocence. “It’s a perfectly good bathing suit! What’s the problem?”

Moon groans, yanking off her own sundress in one frustrated motion. “Well, one of us is going to have to change!”

And for a moment all Yasmine can do is stare, taking in the tie-dyed blue, black, and white bikini identical to the one she’s sporting. Matched not for some giggly best friends stunt, but out of a sort of mutual pettiness that still lingered from that fateful night by the bonfire.

The next moment, she’s howling with laughter.

“Oh, you catty bitch. And here I was thinking you didn’t have a mean bone left in your body.”

Moon crosses her arms, glaring. “It was my bathing suit to begin with,” she says, tone snippy. “You were the one who copied my style!”

“Yeah, because I thought it’d be cute if we matched. And you thought so, too, until you went drooling after Spikehair McRage Issues. And now I’m ripping you off? Convenient.”

Her smirk widens as Moon splutters incoherently, arriving at some kind of logical dead end.

“Come on now.” Yasmine pushes her bottom lip out in a fake pout. “All our drama’s water under the bridge, isn’t it? It can be a quirky bestie thing again, you know.”

She knows damn well Moon’s annoyance goes deeper than having her outfit plagiarized. And she also knows that playing dumb as Moon gets more and more quietly exasperated is one of the funniest things she’s ever seen.

Yasmine’s willing to let bygones be bygones. But the Old Yasmine—the one with her heart still torn out from the only person who mattered to her abandoning her at a moment’s notice—can’t resist a few jabs here and there.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why I’m upset.”

Yasmine blinks, taken aback.

So Moon’s directly voicing gripes regularly now. That wasn’t just a one-time thing.

It’s a little intimidating.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” She keeps up the act, wondering how far she can get.

Moon takes a long swig of tea before speaking, as if to gather strength.

“When you posted those social media pics over the summer…you wore it as a dig at me, didn’t you?”

She opens her mouth, trying to think of a justification and coming up short.

“Not about to believe you ‘just felt like it’ or ‘just forgot.’” Moon snorts derisively. “I know blue tie-dye’s not your style. You only ever got one of those because I did, and you thought it’d be funny if we looked the same.”

Yasmine hesitates, a stone forming in her stomach.

Perhaps if Moon’s ditching her filter, then Yasmine doesn’t need one either. Perhaps brazenly voicing the unsaid with 0 reservations is their new normal.

Strange as that would be.

“I wanted to remind you what we were,” Yasmine admits quietly. “What we had, that you…decided you didn’t want anymore. And I guess also remind you that you could like…turn your back on me and do the ‘reform’ thing all you wanted, but that wouldn’t ever change the fact that you were my best friend. That there’s a lot about us that’s exactly the same, and you can’t pretend you didn’t go along with all the shitty stuff I did for a long-ass time.”

“But I stopped. I apologized to people. I tried to change.” Moon frowns. “Isn’t that what matters?”

“I’m not saying you’re not like…a way better person than me.” Yasmine smiles sadly. “I’ll admit that now. But you’re not some flawless saint. And you can’t just erase the person you were when you were with me.”

“I guess not. But I was never that happy when I felt like…like I was your obedient little pet or something.”

The words cut deeper than Yasmine expects.

“Is that—is that really how you think I saw you?”

Moon realizes she’s hit a nerve.

“I—I don’t know.” Some of the steel is gone from her voice, guilt poking through. “It felt like that sometimes. I know you cared about me, and you were working through a bunch of shit and couldn’t be super open about it. But you always made everything about you.”

And fuck—Yasmine can’t argue with that. She stares at the beach towel, shuffling her feet.

“And why did you wear it today?” Moon’s voice hardens. “To needle me again?”

Yasmine crosses her arms, finally looking up. “And why did you wear yours?”

Moon stops, caught at an impasse. Yasmine’s smirk returns.

“See? We’ve still got a thing or two in common.”

She saunters over, swaying her hips and shifting the tie-dye bikini back and forth.

“I knew there was some mean bitch left in you. Otherwise you’d never have agreed to hang out with me again, hmmmm?”

She smiles, and it’s every bit as smug and conniving as the mask Old Yasmine always hid behind. Moon inhales sharply, leaning back as Yasmine sweeps through more and more of her personal space. By the time her friend gets within inches of Moon’s face, she’s a tensed-up, flustered mess.

Interesting how her feet stay planted when it’d be easy to back up. Maybe that new assertiveness of hers is pressuring her to stand her ground. Or maybe…

“I think we’ve both been feeling a little petty about that whole mess on my birthday, haven’t we?” Yasmine murmurs the words against Moon’s lips, tantalizingly close. Their bodies are brushing now, electricity fizzing under Yasmine’s skin at every point of contact.

She’s burning to know if Moon will close the distance. Give into temptation and finish the job, like Yasmine knows she wants to.

Moon’s eyes start to shut, lips pursing. Yasmine’s smile widens, reaching out manicured cat claws and devouring the metaphorical canary.

In one quick motion she turns, sweeping one arm around Moon and using her other to pull out her phone and snap a selfie. Then she’s gone, stepping away to drop the photo on Instagram and type a caption.

“Twinsiessss!” she hums, reading it aloud. “Missed beach days with this girl. X x x x.”

Moon shakes her head, scoffing. You tease, her glare says.

Well. It’s only payback, isn’t it?

“We’re ridiculous,” she says, sighing. “This is one step away from those annoying ‘his’ and ‘hers’ t-shirts.”

The implication isn’t lost on Yasmine—and it’s all the proof she needs that Moon was one bad decision away from breaking Piper Elswith’s heart.

Is it wrong that she takes a fucked up sort of pride in it?

Shoving the quandary from her mind, Yasmine claps her hands. “Okay, enough of all that. Let’s go for a fucking swim.”

She crams her phone in their swim bag, haphazardly throwing a spare beach blanket over their belongings. Grabbing Moon’s wrist, she tugs them toward the sea.

It’s nice to hold her again. That tanned, lotioned-up skin never fails to feel perfect under Yasmine’s.

Moon laughs, expression coy. “Feels strange to be running around in our bikinis again. Brings back memories, doesn’t it?”

Yasmine’s face grows hot. It’s Moon’s turn to get her blushing, apparently.

“You remember the last time we did that?” Moon prompts. As though one rubbing around the sensitive spots of her memory wasn’t enough to trigger them.

“Oh, yeah.” She chuckles, and it’s a little bittersweet. “How could I forget?”

***

Random author's notes, in no particular order:

I realized that I put not one but two spy movie mentions in my recent YasMoon fics...so now I have a headcanon that her dad is super into James Bond and spy/thriller movies and that's how she's familiar with all the tropes! I like to think it's one of the few things they can still bond over and enjoy together, since I HC that Yasmine's relationship with her dad has gotten more and more strained over the years as she feels like she has to hide the fact she's a lesbian (and he's probably also out of the country a fair bit, if S4 is anything to go off of).

I actually find Yasmine and Sam's relationship so interesting??? Like Yasmine showed 0 guilt when she dropped her in S1 and readily sided with Kyler over her (in contrast to Moon, who looks guilty about cutting Sam off and seems upset by Kyler's public slut-shaming stunts). But then come S3, they're friends again??? I'm left to think they only really made nice because they both care about Moon and want to make her happy, because otherwise I don't think they'd have any reason to forgive each other. (Which kinda further proves my point about Yas being gay for Moon--"ugh I can't stand this shit-talking blowjob-giving bitch, but I'll be nice to her for you and you ONLY, babe!" Like Moon is really the only person who can keep Yasmine's bitchiness at all under control lmao. Even Demetri does a shit job of calling her out XD) And then by the time S5 rolls around, she and Sam seemed to have developed some genuine friendly affection for each other--which I think is kind of neat! The power of Moon's influence, amirite???

Yasmine's hapless lesbian ass really can't think of any better way of flirting than being like "oh nooooo!!! Kyaaaa!!! The wind went under my skirt!!! KYAAAA!!! I bent over to pick something up and you saw under my dress!!!" like a cringey anime girl. I would attest in a court of law that she is just THAT much of a disaster when it comes to openly and publicly flirting with girls. Like she hasn't the faintest idea what she's doing!!! She wants to get the point across but god forbid anyone notice she's gay!!! It needs to look accidental for plausible denial reasons, okay!!! Oh, the joys of writing a deeply closeted sapphic flailing her way through life <3

I just KNOW that Yasmine and Moon know Legally Blonde. Like how could they not??? The main character is a California valley girl XD Yasmine claims she watches it over and over because she loves Elle's aesthetic, but she secretly envies how smart Elle is and kind of wishes she could get a high-end kick-ass businessy job she could show up to in a bright pink suit. She also aspires to have a little purse dog, although she's partial to pomeranians and Japanese spitzes a little more than chihuahuas.

It's our lord's year 2023 and I am still saying the matching bikini bit from S2 was gay as fuck. Like Yasmine definitely knew what she was doing and she definitely wore that shit on purpose. And girl has enough basic fashion sense to not get an identical garment as her bestie unless she wants them to be matchy matchy. Y'know. Like a couples costume. Pretty damn fruity innit

Writing Yasmine as the most unapologetic lesbian tease is so funny. Like by god this girl WILL seduce women with everything she's got while wanting every dick on earth at least 400000000 feet away from her at all times. Iconic!

[kaerichan-yatta]

struggling harder today cause possession problems turned on my violent side at school

i spent the first hour of lesson crying in the bathroom with my friend trying to calm me down

luckily me no one pissed me off at school today and i kinda had a good day exept for the first hour

then passed out for twenty minutes at the fourth hour cause eh- food sucks in this period for me

didn't go to tennis cause my head was killing me and my legs gave out on the bus

felt like i had a huge hole on the side of my head as i felt my heart racing in my ears

but eeh- i took a nap and i kinda feel better now but food still sucks i'm forcing myself to eat dinner now

it's not like i ate that much in the past week tho

the thing i remember i ate was a can of tuna together with a can of mushrooms. i like the combination of these tastes.

anyways, i'm currently working on comfort fics on wattpad, so i'll leave it here (there are A LOT of t-stories on my wattpad tho. some are a bit bad cause i wrote them when i was younger and still in the undertale fandom💀lmao)

my wattpad is k_kaeri-chan

please don't mind me shipping myself with skeletons.🥹🫶

that's all for today, bye ^^<3

[seaquestions]

hi i finally used a can opener correctly

[sadweatherchildren]

tag 10 people you want to know better

i was tagged by @pablohoney1993, very delighted as always by Harley's continued presence on my dash 💖💖💖

relationship status: I'm engaged to @greylunar ! We've been together for almost 7 years (in December).

favorite color: grey, but specifically Sabre Grey from Benjamin Moore. I'm very dull.

favorite food: rice! with! ingredient! specifically spicy tuna...last semester I gave myself very mild mercury poisoning by eating it every day for several weeks.

song stuck in my head: All Ours by Talos -I'm making a character for a new dnd campaign, so I've been listening to songs nonstop to put together a playlist. This is 1 of 3 I've deemed appropriate for him so far.

last thing i googled: on my phone it's "[redacted for privacy] college fall 2023 schedule" so I can tell my manager when I'm transferring and on my laptop it is "blind mickey's blues lithograph 1997" for my internship 💖

time: 3:35 (no fun numbers here, I just got off of work lmao)

dream trip: For almost a decade I've really wanted to visit the Zadar Sea Organ in Croatia. If I had to pick a domestic trip, I would want to go visit my friend @astralprotecting in Seattle and then take the Coastal Starlight amtrak down to California to visit @thecuntofamontillado with Casper. That's been on my mind lately, given my fondness for train travel. Apparently it's supposed to have some of the most beautiful scenery of any Amtrak tour... 😳😳😳

@fig @smileboyo @catgirlkaiju @astralprotecting @thecuntofamontillado @greylunar @thegreening @sammanson @8x23 @twohauntedhouses

[fyexo]

210215 Baekhyun Twitter Updates

Fan: Baekhyunnie where are you FK

Baekhyun: Why are you getting so mad!!! haha

Fan: Baekhyunnie, whenever you can pleaaasee do Beret Selca ~ㅜㅜ... Beret ...ㅜㅜ

Baekhyun: Mygreyhair.that.colour.won’tmatchnicely!? hehe

Fan: Baekhyunnie who’s still in the process of growing up (stayed up) till dawn???

Baekhyun: It’d be so nice if i’m (really) still growing up.... ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Fan: I need information on that fluffy white blanket in Baekhyunnie’s bubble... I'm curious about everything about Baekhyun..

Baekhyun: I’m changing my blanket this time...heh

Fan: It’s my first time seeing a T-Zone so clear. Baekhyun-ah do you know who stepped on my T-Zone..? (T-Zone = Forehead, nose, chin)

Baekhyun: T-Zone where did you go~~

Fan: Baekhyun-ah, what’s your dinner menu today?_?

Baekhyun: I’m currently thinking about what to eat...

Fan: Baekhyunnie who just woke up, are sending bubble messages and on twitter. Why are you so cute

Baekhyun: Hehehh

Fan: spoiler fairy Baekhyunnie, aren’t you sharing anything today~?

Baekhyun: SHINee hyungs’ MV was crazy good is all i can say, I did a reaction video yesterday

Fan: Baekhyunah...The suspenders are really really too much, I fainted, and the hair extension came out so goodㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Baekhyun: Oh I think the suspenders came out well too?.. I guess I’ll wear it more often!

Fan: I am someone who thinks that blankets have a big impact on your sleep quality, but baekhyun’s wool blankets are more than just a blanket ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ♡ Did Baekhyun who delicately chooses his pillow cover and his fabric softener, also chooses the blanket himself ?.. I’m in love with this guy’s choice in blankets...

Baekhyun: I’m in trouble...hehe I’ll be careful!

Fan: Baekhyunah there’s Pork Rib Hangover Soup at my house, come..

Baekhyun: But it’s really your home right!? I’ll come even if it’s just Bean Rice Cake..I'll go if the Corona gets any better. But I could be a nuisance to you! I’ll definitely go if it’s a restaurant!$•^^

Fan: How does baekhyunnie likes his pizza and Bulddak ramen??????

Baekhyun: Pizza and hot chicken ramen?..

Fan: Baekhyun oppa, i’m sorry but do you hate Malatang..?

Baekhyun: No, but there are people who likes it! But my stomach is weak so it hurts after eating it no matter how mild it is! Uh I think it’s because of that flavor...that thing that looks like a bean!

Fan: Baekhyunah have you tried Rose Tteokbokki

Baekhyun: There’s Rose Tteokbokki!?

Fan: Baekhyun oppa don’t ever go to KkungDeok I’ll get jealous

Baekhyun: You come too

Fan: Baekhyun-ah you should try Rose-Bulddak~

Baekhyun: I’m going to eat so much now...

Fan: Baekhyunah!!! Pizza and Makguksu combination, it’s crazy ㅠㅠ

Baekhyun: Huh?... .Combine what?.. 

Fan: Baekhyunah sushi and seasoned crab’s sauce are super delicious, It’s super awesome if you eat them together~~

Baekhyun: Waah that sounds yummy huuu soy sauce crab are already delicious... Not too salty and not too sweet, MGRG? You Know? Huuu

Fan: Will baekhyunnie’s face come out on my costmetics too

Baekhyun: ...Wi..Wipe them out.... (T/N: What he said in the CF and also a term often said in Hip Hop)

Fan: Baekhyunnie I sincerely recommend honey combo Yeoptteok. If it doesn’t taste good, I’ll pay for you instead.

Baekhyun: But I don’t enjoy Yeoptteok well...

Baekhyun: Because they are too spicy ㅜㅜ

Fan: Baekhyunah!! Soba noodles and buckwheat pancakes!!!!! They are really good

Baekhyun: True.. I really wanted to eat the buckwheat pancake made by my grandmother right now...since it’s the New Year! But I can't eat it, but my grandmother’s buckwheat pancake is the best  ❤️ hehe

Fan: Baekhyunah my mom...is waiting for you. She said she wants to feed you 5 times in a day ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Baekhyun:  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋYour mother knows I exist?... hehe

Fan: Then I guess Carbonara Bulddak is spicy for you too.. (RE: Yeoptteok)

Baekhyun: Yup that’s spicy too!

Fan: Baekhyunah, my mom’s glass noodles are really delicious.. I want to eat them too..

Baekhyun: Let’s go eat together later hehe

Baekhyun: You all are like Tteokbokki Master ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋIt’s so funnyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋE-bokk-ri , E-bokki feeling

Baekhyun: But while receiving all these food recommendations, why do I feel like you guys like Tteokbokki so much!!?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋEveryone!?ㅋㅋㅋㅋWhat’s going on!

Fan: I had Tteokbokki today. Isn’t Tteokbokki the best Baekhyunah!!!!!???

Baekhyun: Is this the Rose Tteokbokki!?

Baekhyun: I don’t usually eat Tteokbokki! I guess our taste don’t match with this one??...

Baekhyun: Those who have eaten a lot of Delivery-Tteokbokki, which one would you recommend?..

Baekhyun: Since I have to order it, should I try Rose Tteokbokki today

Fan: Rose Tteokbokki and Buckwheat Noodle Tteok is best eaten together baekhyun..

Baekhyun: I’ll...eat them together...Ehem

Fan: [ACCOUNT LOCKED]

Baekhyun: Who’s no. 1

Baekhyun: A lot of people are saying to order the Buckwheat Noodle Tteok side too

Baekhyun: The side dish is out of stock ㅜㅜㅜHuaaaaang

Should I add cheese...?? I already added two eggs

Baekhyun: I added a little sugar and also tuna mayo and some tempura

Baekhyun: I’m letting you know my menu

1 Rose Tteokbokki - Mild flavor

Buckwheat Noodle Type, a little sugar, 2 eggs

Side dishes: Tuna mayo don’t go rolling rolling 1 (it rhymes lmao tuna mayo rolling rolling chujimayo)

4 crabsticks, 2 hashbrowns, 1 fried hotdog, 2cheese stick, 4 seaweed rolls, 1 mini fish cake soup

What else should I add!

Fan: Baekhyunah  the mild flavor doesn’t taste good. Even if you don’t like it you should’ve gotten the spicy flavor..!!!! Also you should get the squid..... ...

Baekhyun: Ah really!? Alright

Fan: Baekhyun-ah, I’m getting my tattoo retouched but I’m so nervous

Baekhyun: I also want to get a tattoo

Baekhyun: I’m going to go shower and come back  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Let’s eat the tteokbokki together

Baekhyun: It’s arriving in 90 minutes...today...

Baekhyun: I’ll go prepare for a live

[irikahkrios]

some irikah headcanons related to food for no reason other than i'm feeling like it:

- loves spicy foods! she's very particular about hot sauce (it has to be spicy enough but at the same time there has to be more than just heat, it's got to have a good flavor too), and sometimes ends up just making her own from scratch.

- likes meal prepping when she has the time, since it saves time and money later on. on her days off she'll often make a big batch of soup (usually a particular soup that's traditionally served cold and made with this slimy aloe-like plant and hot peppers; for many drell it's got a reputation for being one of those foods that you either love or hate. she loves it, thane and kolyat both hate it) to divide up and bring for work lunches so she isn't tempted to just buy a cheap little lunch at a food cart or something.

- when she needs comfort food she tends to fall back on certain recipes she would make for herself and her little siblings after school when they were young, dishes she's made so many times that she could probably make them with her eyes closed at this point. it's usually inexpensive but filling stuff like spicy noodle dishes and various preparations of a cheap canned fish product popular on kahje that's basically the equivalent of canned tuna. this kind of food is nostalgic for her and often sends her into nice memories from when she was a kid, but it can make her a bit sad as well, especially when she and thane start to really struggle financially and she finds that a lot of the time these cheap meals are all they can afford to eat (bonus headcanon: because of this, a lot of these same foods end up being pretty nostalgic for kolyat as well when he gets older).

- one of her dads worked at a local fishery (a rough job for drell due to keprals concerns, and usually filled by those very desperate for work), working to farm certain types of fish popular with hanar and tentatively adopted into drell cuisine. he sometimes got to bring home fresh fish, and would bring little irikah into the kitchen to watch him prep and cook them, eventually letting her help and teaching her how to do it herself once she was old enough to handle a knife. some of her fondest childhood memories are of cooking fish with him.

- if she were to splurge on expensive food as a treat, she would probably decide to try some specific fruits and other foods native to rakhana that the drell were unable to bring with them due to difficulties cultivating them on kahje. many of these foods are available to buy on kahje and in other places (where other species, particularly the asari, have developed a taste for them), but are too expensive for many drell to regularly buy because of the cost of having them grown on/imported from another, more arid planet.

- she technically Can eat dairy but doesn't because she thinks it's gross. in particular, she will never understand the appeal of cheese and has no desire to.

- disliking dairy means ice cream is a no, when it comes to cooling down with frozen treats on a hot day she would rather go with sorbets and popsicles instead.

- generally likes fruit-based desserts, especially ones with some kind of sour or spicy element to cut through the sweetness. she likes sweet stuff, but prefers flavors that are a bit more complex instead of just one-note sweetness.

- she likes chocolate well enough, but only if it's dark. milk chocolate is way too cloyingly sweet. she enjoys those dark chocolate bars with fruit fillings.

- loves to drink strong tea, steeps it for way too long so it's really sour and bitter, and drinks it straight without sweetener or anything. her coworkers like to joke that her tea could strip the paint job off a ship, and that it's a hazardous material that she shouldn't even be allowed to bring into the same building as their delicate vaccine research.

- has a bad habit of drinking too much caffeine too late in the day and being up for most of the night. though it has led to some good conversations, because she and thane both get really introspective late at night and when neither of them can sleep they'll often just curl up on the couch together and have long, deep talks.

- doesn't drink alcohol often; back when she was younger she would maybe enjoy a few drinks with her friends or coworkers on occasion, but that stopped when the family went into hiding and she had to stay alert at all times. i think after they're safe and she has the luxury of unwinding and relaxing again, she might have the occasional cocktail while out for dinner with thane and potentially a shepard who romances the two of them. there's an emotional headcanon hiding in there re: romanced shepard making both irikah and thane feel safe enough to let their guard down like this and trust that everything will be okay with shepard there, and what a big deal this is in the healing process, for her especially. but i think this post is long enough already lmao

[stinkrascal]

Hey jaiden! This might be a weird question, but I recently started living by myself, and one of my biggest struggles lately has been figuring out what to eat everyday, cause I have to find cheap and easy stuff since I’ve never been a really good cook lol. For some reason I thought you might know of some recipes that might work for me? You don’t have to answer this, but thank you so much if you do ❤️ hugs

i'm not a very good cook tbh, and my taste in food is especially bland, but i can share the few things i do know! i'll put it under the cut bc ik i'll ramble lol

i stock up on sandwich ingredients since it's cheap and easy to make and u can make a bunch of them!!! if u have money for a frying pan u can make sandwiches soooo good. i make a lot of grilled cheese in the frying pan!!! i just put 4 slices of turkey w a slice of american cheese in the middle and top it with white bread, then coat the pan in butter and fry the grilled cheese on either side for about 1-2 mins on low temp, until the bread turns golden brown, n that's it!!! u can add other stuff im just rlly bland w my food yk. i also make a lot of tuna fish sandwiches lol, i just mix tuna with mustard and mayonnaise (you can guess how much you need of either tbh) and put that between two pieces of toasted white bread, u can add seasonings to it but again im bland lol

SALAD STUFF is a huge one for me, i always try to have salad ingredients at the house bc its such a good snack!!!! the way i make salads is really easy, i get spinach and spring mix salad, cut up 2-3 strawberries depending on their size, then throw in blueberries, purple and/or green grapes, a can of mandarin oranges, and top it off with a FUCK TON of feta cheese, and that's it!!! u can top it off whatever dressings u like, idrk what dressings would go good w this so use your own discretion ig but yeah its super easy to make, this is one of my go-to meals!!!!

if you have a frying pan, tilapia is really easy to make and it's cheap too!!! you literally just brush the top of the tilapia with olive oil, season it with whatever seasonings you like (i usually only put a little salt, pepper, and a light dusting of tony's chachere's) then fry it on both sides and then you're done!!

i make a lottttttttttt of smoothies, which you do need a blender for, but if you do have one they're really filling for meals!! my favorites are strawberry banana and peanut butter banana smoothies. i just put a cup full of crushed ice, a single banana, 3-5 strawberries depending on their size, a tablespoon of sugar, guess the amount of milk needed, then blend that all together!!!!! the peanut butter banana recipe is the same, except instead of 3-5 strawberries i put in a tablespoon of peanut butter!! theyre both soooooo good and filling and easy to make, definitely would recommend!!

generally a lot of small grocery stores will have weekly sales papers at the front of their store that are free for customers to take, it's good to get in the habit of getting those papers and basing ur meal preps off that!!! some stores will have better deals than others for the same thing, the sales papers helps to keep track of it all :') maybe that's basic info to some of u but i literally didn't know this until i met my bf's mom and it has changed my life lol

otherwise most of the food i eat is canned/refrigerated meals or store bought pizza tbh it's embarrassing how little i know how to cook lmao, but there are tons of recipes on the internet! i find a lot of helpful tutorials on youtube, instagram, and tiktok!!

[spoonfullasugaaa]

!

Today was successful. I drove to whale daddy’s crib Upstate. I rolled 2 dutches for the drive and brought febreeze vent clips since he always insists on carrying my bags from the car into the house. We usually go out to dinner at the only 5 star restaurant in town or we cook together. Today, I get there at 4 and he has a full spread for me! Tuna steaks, a salad he made from his garden, and home made sweet potatoes he made in the airfryer. Also lots of fancy foreign cheese lol. 

I was like this is super nice, but aren’t you ready to fuck??? He said he wanted to wait so I was like whatever. He usually tries to fuck me as soon as I get there, but maybe ya boy has learned something. (Doubt it.) So we eat, chat, I tell him about my life and school (I spew the usual lies lmao.) He apple pays me for the stay, gas, and a lil extra. But he always does this. 

At this point I’m ready to get the deed done with. Nope! My boy wants to go ride ATVs on his property (like 100 acres). I’m like ughhh okay let’s go ride. So we do that for probably a half mile and then he asks me for a bj which i promptly oblige because that’s what the fuck im here for and that’s how you be a good sb bitch ur here to please!!!! He’s thrilled with the ATV blowjob. He says it’s a first. (Rich people love firsts.) It’s all he talks about for the next 40 minutes.

We ride back to the house, and now he’s ready to do it so we do. It takes about 30 minutes total. Whale daddy is fucking awful in bed but he spends a while going down on me so I don’t mind. It’s now 6:00 lmao. He’s like hey go shower and chill meet you in the theater in an hour for a movie, chocolates, and tea. I’m like cool lmao.

NOW! He put me in his upstairs suite where I have my own bathroom and living room. WHEN I TELL YOU IT IS HOT AS FUCK UP HERE!? (87 degrees F) Like i’m cooking as i type this. I usually stay in the basement suite where he takes his concubines, but apparently I’m a bit more “special” now so I get to stay upstairs??? Which I don’t get because i have a sitting area in my suite down there AND my own bathroom as well??? lmao puhleeeeze im like put me back in the hoe house ! But i digress.

So I shower, open all the drawers and closets, start touching shit because i know his ex gf used to live here and I was never allowed to come upstairs because this was “her suite.” Whatever, she didn’t leave shit worthwhile behind other than some Laura Mercier skincare items that I will be taking to go lmao. 

Anyway, I go downstairs around 6:45, make some tea and take some snaps. He comes out at 7, we grab some snacks and head to the theater where I suggest we watch Kill Bill. He searches through 10000 films and then proceeds to finally get his dusty ass up to get the kill bill dvd. *eye rolls.* Dusty ass. So i watch it while he half falls asleep, and by the time the movie ends it’s about 9:30. He was so thirsty to go to bed at this point he went straight upstairs after the film and told me to do whatever i wanted lmao. I touched more stuff, drank tea out of his versace and took snaps all over the house like a thot. (No cameras inside.) 

So now I’m ready for bed, I crack my bottle of wine open (he hates smoking and drinking lmao) and make my way toward the bedroom. Yall it is 82 fucking degrees in this bitch!!! STILL!! I’m sweating my ass off so bad guys its nuts !!! I turned on the AC and that shit is blowing hot air out!!! What a life. I’m leaving early in the morning. Sick of this shit lmao.