#they do not have actual names but do have exceptionally tragic backstories and one of them is a prince lol

[koszmarnybudyn]

Wow i actually drew my ocs??? Crazy.. crazy indeed, anyway have some gay pirates that i created at twelve.

[quirkless-and-embarrassed]

Todoroki Shouto

I felt like doing a character meme!

Favorite thing about him:

Is it cheating to say everything? It is? Okay… I love how he’s painfully kind while also painfully bad with people. I love how he swore not to use his fire half, and he took that oath so seriously that he felt pulling Midoriya aside to apologize and explain (in depth) was necessary. I love that his hand trembled when he went to see his mom—especially that he was so afraid of being like Endeavor, he couldn’t bear to show his face to her for years in case she mistook him again. I love how he learns from his mistakes, whether it’s combat-related like blocking his field of vision against Stain or emotional like realizing how his spiteful focus on Endeavor has blinded him to the needs of people around him. I love how he doesn’t feel the need to posture and act like he has the answers: he can openly admit he doesn’t know and that he needs to reflect more to find the right path for him. I love how rude he is. I love how he unquestionably leapt to Midoriya and Iida’s aid in Hosu. I love his fight against Midoriya.

Least favorite thing about him:

Hmm…most of my problems are with Horikoshi, not Todoroki. I like that Todoroki’s reaction to Endeavor vs the nomu was complex, that he was afraid for Endeavor, cares about him, and is ambivalent about the idea of Endeavor’s “redemption,” but I wish his love for his dad had more of a foundation—from what Horikoshi shows us, I have no idea why he cares about Endeavor other than a vague, dissatisfying “he’s my dad” feeling. Why are Todoroki’s feelings more complicated than flawless loathing? What’s the basis for his ambivalent affection towards Endeavor? I wish I knew more.

Okay, for about Todoroki specifically in-universe…I guess I wish he would talk a little more. He seems like he struggles with finding a middle ground between saying nearly nothing and oversharing.

Favorite line:

That’s a nasty scar you got there *SLUUURP* and are you All Might’s lovechild. I also loved it when Todoroki glared dramatically at Endeavor and then failed hard at introducing himself to the kids.

…And I love the line where Bakugo stridently claims no, he will not tell stupid Deku his brand-new, top-secret hero name, and Todoroki cluelessly asks, “Could you tell me, then?”

BROTP:

Midoriya, Bakugo, Yaoyorozu, Iida—I think those relationships really speak for themselves <3

This fic made me love Todoroki and Kaminari, please give me Todoroki working on his sense of humor and he asks Kaminari for help, only to repeatedly and ignorantly roast Kaminari while attempting to learn.

Also, Asui and Todoroki are really underrated; I feel like they’d have understated but interesting chemistry. They’re both exceptionally blunt, and unlike some of the others, Asui is perceptive+grounded enough to notice how awkward and uncertain Todoroki is (instead of the coolest, handsomest boy in class image). I’d LOVE to see them talk about their siblings, since Asui is the oldest and she takes care of her mini frog siblings, and Todoroki is the baby of the family who’s trying to figure out his relationships with Fuyumi and Natsuo (and eventually, Dabi). Oh, and Asui has more respect for authority than Todoroki does, so also seeing them clash over that would be interesting.

Or! Maybe Todoroki finally, accidentally catches Hagakure in one of his area ice moves and feels really bad about it, so Hagakure teaches him to watch out for her by making a game out of sneaking up on him. She also exercises some teenage flirtation in his direction and he has no idea.

Or imagine Jirou trying to figure out if Todoroki has feelings for Momo and accidentally becoming friends as she susses him out and realizes he’s an irredeemable dork instead of ice prince badass. She’s appalled he doesn’t know much about music!

OTP Rarepairs:

Todoroki/everyone basically, so it’s more interesting to talk about my todo rarepairs than run of the mill ships. 

Todoroki/Shinsou is cute…they both enter class 1-a with the attitude “I’m not here to make friends” and get hit with a match versus Midoriya in the Sports Festival—oops! They both became heroes partly from antagonistic spite, to defy Endeavor / the stereotype of brainwashing, which throw long shadows over who they fear they could become, and despite being on the quiet side they’re both pretty dramatic. Idk much about Shinsou’s backstory, but he definitely has a bit of a depressed, wary aura about him together with his fiercely idealistic, “I will never be like that” attitude, a combination that would resonate with Todoroki.

Probably at first Shinsou would be pretty cold to Todoroki, since even after being accepted into class 1-a he’d have some lingering resentment for those who are naturally blessed and admission was a slam dunk, and, in an effort to prove himself against the quietest of the strongest students, he’d make it his mission to provoke+brainwash Todoroki. Despite himself, Shinsou gets attached as he tries to figure Todoroki out, and he realizes the sorts of obstacles this “naturally blessed, slam-dunk admission” student had to overcome to get here.

In short, I’m a sucker for it ok, brotp or otp i’m down, but also in this case the romantic element of seeing themselves in each other gets to me bad.

Second rarepair, Todoroki/Hawks—hear me out ok!! These two would have the funny elements of Hawks/Endeavor but without Endeavor’s grossness. Even after he makes pro, Todoroki admires Hawks as the number two hero whose playful, casual MO is radically different from his own, more solemn style, and Hawks delights in being obnoxious and pokes fun at the straightforward, a bit dense Todoroki every opportunity he gets. Todoroki recognizes Hawks’s playful demeanor and knows he’s joking, but…being a dork…he doesn’t know what to say, so he just responds with total seriousness. Hawks is perceptive enough to know Todoroki noticed the joke, and Hawks’s awareness of that transforms Todoroki’s awkwardness into a dry, deadpan sarcasm, and the two of them can actually, like…have banter.

Working with Hawks semi-regularly, Todoroki has to rise to the challenge of meeting Hawks’s quips with enough insight and empathy to intuit the bleaker truths behind Hawks’s facade as this guy who doesn’t want to work too hard. Todoroki grew up as Endeavor’s tool, Hawks grew up as the hero commission’s tool; Todoroki responded with defiance, Hawks responded with salty compliance; Todoroki prioritizes his personal moral compass over the law/government, Hawks prioritizes the government over both his moral compass and the law; and Todoroki admires All Might, whom Hawks professes not to be so fond of, while Hawks admires Endeavor, knows Dabi, and all the obvious issues that brings up—so I think these two have tons of common ground to build a rapport and also clash with each other in ways that would be interesting for their development. For example, Todoroki can tell Hawks it’s your power and encourage him to take hold of his own destiny instead of being used, and Hawks can help Todoroki work on the shortage of social acuity he inherited from Endeavor.

I love the brotp but the otp has such comedic potential fused with such tragic potential, like by taking hold of his fate Hawks makes some choices Todoroki can’t forgive, and by helping Todoroki learn to connect to people Hawks opens him up for a world of pain when things go south, I can’t resist.

NOTP:

As long as the execution is good, I’m good. A ship that I hate in one person’s hands, I might love in another’s.

Random headcanon:

Todoroki is the #1 cockblocker in Class A. Nobody kills romantic tension like Todoroki wandering in, oblivious to what he’s just interrupted.

Also, Fuyumi gave him The Talk.

Unpopular opinion:

Hmm…not sure how unpopular this is, but while Todoroki understands that Endeavor abused Rei, but I don’t think he understands that Endeavor abused him too. Clearly Todoroki understands that it was bad, but now he’s one of the best students in one of the best high schools in the country instead of on a psych ward (Rei) or in the ground (Touya), so he doesn’t realize just how bad it was. Sort of a, “I was strong enough to take it, so it wasn’t really bad, not like how he was to my mom.”

Also, I love tododeku and I love dadzawa, but I’m frustrated by the number of fanfics that portray Todoroki as meek and crushed under Endeavor’s boot, in need of rescue.

Okay, one last one, because I’m not sure how unpopular any of these actually are. I think Todoroki is actually pretty anxious to fit in with his peers? Like he seems pretty aloof and doing his own thing, but I think it’s more due to uncertainty over what to do than because he’s that naturally withdrawn.

Song I associate with him:

Unbreakable by Miracle, Ember by Katherine McNamara, and Brave by Riley Pearce come to mind.

Favorite picture of him:

OKAY HERE ARE A FEW

VS Midoriya – Todoorki’s whole awakening, self-actualization sequence is beautifully, beautifully animated. I love the flashes to black and white and the graceful, profound arc of Todoroki raising his left hand.

Ch43 – His haunted expression when he extinguishes his fire, forfeiting to Bakugo.

Ch63 – He looks so sweetly earnest when he realizes he screwed up by disregarding Yaoyorozu’s opinion, and he immediately takes action to fix it.

Ch112 – His badass expression when he and Inasa wordlessly team up.

Ch164 – His sour, cross expression when Endeavor embarrasses him.

I had to make some painful choices on which scenes to leave out, but I think five is enough.

I’ve also done these questions for Bakugo, Uraraka, Endeavor, Amajiki, Sir Nighteye, and Shinsou!

[the-archlich]

Clone Wars: The Dathomir Arc

This is one of the biggest arcs we've had in a long time. Not only is it a solid 3 episode story, it's one that actually changes a lot. It really shakes up the status quo of this show and pours on a huge amount of character development for Ventress, something we haven't gotten before. It introduces an interesting new villain (with a bad name) in Savage Opress, and a very interesting character in Mother Talzin.

Things begin with Palpatine skyping Dooku. He's sensed that Ventress is growing very powerful and is suspicious that Dooku is training his own apprentice and will try to replace him. Rule of Two and all that. Dooku insists he's not going to do that, but why would any of us believe that? Palpatine orders him to kill Ventress, which Dooku reluctantly agrees to do.

This does address a question that bothered me when Ventress was first introduced. As far as we knew, the Rule of Two was still a thing; so what exactly was her deal? Given that we've really only seen some limited use of the Force from her, it seems like she was only partially trained - deliberately. Not trained enough to really qualify as a full Sith apprentice, but enough to be useful against Jedi. Sort of a preview of the Inquisitors we'd see under the Empire. And while I don't think the Sith actually care about technicalities, they do care about their own apprentices getting strong enough to kill them before they're ready.

Dooku doesn't do the job himself. When he learns that she's on one of his flagships, he has the rest of the fleet fire on it, hoping to kill her that way along with Obi and Ani. Of course this doesn't work out. He presumes she's killed, but she escapes. She's picked up by some scavengers and takes their ship to her homeworld of Dathomir.

If you've read a lot of Star Wars lore, that name means something to you. As usual I don't know what's canon and what isn't anymore but it's got significant history. It's an isolated world covered in fog, said to be filled with witches.

And witches there are! Ventress arrives and is greeted by others of her kind, including their leader Mother Talzin. To heal her, they perform some kind of magick ritual, during which we see flashbacks to Ventress's past. She was given away as a baby to protect the clan. Her owner was killed by some pirates and she was taken in by a Jedi, who trained her for several years. After her was killed in battle, she lost her shit and went dark. This eventually led her to Dooku, who took her on as an acolyte (their term for those below the level of a true apprentice).

All told, it's a pretty tragic backstory. Up until now we really didn't know anything about Ventress and this really puts her in a new perspective.

Now healed, Ventress is ready to kill Dooku. Mother Talzin uses more dark magic to turn her invisible, along with some other assassins. They catch Dooku sleeping (in his exquisite pajamas) and attack him, but even 3 v 1 and poisoned Dooku is actually really fucking good at this and fights them off.

Talzin doesn't mind that they failed, though. She sees an opportunity in it. So she calls up Dooku and offers him a replacement for Ventress. He takes her up on the offer and comes to visit. Obviously she's going to use his new apprentice as a means to assassinate him.

They talk a little bit about their history. Talzin's group is called the Nightsisters, and evidently they used to have some alliance with the Sith in the past. Of course, she's not willing to pledge allegiance to Dooku, so relations are still a bit strained. But Dooku did her a solid sometime in the past. Talzin brings up Darth Maul, who Dooku only knows by reputation. She offers him someone from Maul's bloodline; given what Maul was capable of, Dooku is in.

There was a time when I would have criticized Dooku for not asking more questions about this. It's suspicious. Right after you betray your apprentice and someone tries to kill you, you get a call from someone you haven't seen in years offering you exactly what you need. That should set off some red flags. But I've seen enough people like Dooku now that while it's stupid of him not to question this more, it's deeply in character. People in those sorts of positions - people born into power, who have had the world handed to them - never question it when they're handed even more. They've always gotten everything they ever wanted, often without even asking. This is normal for them.

We aren't told much about the Nightsisters and their history; Obi-Wan has heard of them (and Mother Talzin) and calls them an ancient order of witches. Dooku indicates they had some past alliance. That's all we're told explicitly. Again I don't know what' s still canon, but as a general statement:

There are Force-wielding traditions outside of the Jedi and Sith. The Force is in all things, and while most need some training, there are individuals so naturally talented that they'll reach out to the Force even without it. Sometimes these individuals are just hermits, or maybe they take an apprentice or two. This sort of thing grows into a local Force-wielding tradition of its own, with its own structure and rules. Traditionally the Jedi leave small groups alone, only involving themselves if they become a problem. The Sith sometimes recruited from among these groups (it's a good place to find potential apprentices) and also tended to ignore them unless they grew too powerful.

A more recent example I can confirm in canon is the Knights of Ren. Ren was the name of an individual who was strong in the Force but didn't have any formal training and followed the path of the dark. He recruited other Force-sensitive people with a similar mindset, forming his little group. While they had some passing similarities to the Sith (both being users of the Dark Side), Ren's traditions and structure were his own. Ben Solo (later Kylo) killed Ren and took control of his group and his name.

The Nightsisters of Dathomir are a similar group. Mother Talzin is obviously a powerful user of the Dark Side, but she exists outside of the Jedi or Sith traditions. If she was more ambitious or more involved in affairs outside of Dathomir maybe she'd warrant being a target for Sidious or Dooku, but if she stays in her lane there's no need for conflict. And she can provide a ready supply of potential apprentices should the need arise, as Ventress and Savage show.

Ventress goes to the part of Dathomir where the men live (because I guess their society is exceptionally gender segregated?) and after putting a bunch of them through violent and deadly trials, chooses the toughest one. Talzin and the Nightsisters use a ritual to make him stronger and more powerful, and more under their control. His name is Savage Opress, because sometimes Star Wars is just dumb.

Talzin presents Dooku with his new slab of beefcake and he's pretty pleased, especially after Savage successfully kills some Jedi. Dooku accepts his present and tells Savage that he does indeed plan to turn against Sidious eventually - because of course he does. That's literally how the whole Sith thing works. We know Sheev doesn't want to play by those rules, but no one should be surprised.

After seeing a video of Savage killing some Jedi, Obi and Ani go to Dathomir to investigate him. This leads them to Talzin and the Nightsisters. Dooku has sent Savage to kidnap the king of Toyderia, and Talzin sends Obi/Ani there as well. Savage fucks up by killing the king instead, so Dooku is pissed and zaps him (his usual method of correction.)

Ventress arrives and attacks Dooku along with Savage. This gives us a pretty good fight scene, although the fights in this show are generally sub-par. (I'll talk about the concept of weight some other time). We've got 3 fighters, 5 blades, and totally different styles. Dooku has his classic, almost courtly style, often with one hand at his side or behind his back. Ventress has a more acrobatic style with two sabers, while Savage is just flailing away with the Darth Maul special (without the technique). What makes this fun is seeing these visually distinct styles of fighting all mashed together. If you removed everything identifying about these characters, you could still tell who was who base don how they're fighting. And that makes for a good fight scene.

The whole fight really breaks down when Savage gets tired of being treated like shit and starts attacking Ventress as well as Dooku. Dooku runs and Ventress pursues, while Savage is left behind and has to deal with Obi and Ani. There is a lot happening.

Savage escapes, but now he's on Dooku's bad side. Obi and Ani get out too. Dooku proves to be too strong for Ventress and she barely gets away. So now there's just a bunch of red-blade assholes running around who all hate each other. And that makes for a fun galaxy. Speaking of...

Savage returns to Dathomir, badly wounded. Talzin tells him that he still has a living brother - Darth Goddamn Maul. She sends Savage off to find him, setting up the storyline that is the reason I started watching this show in the first place years ago.

This is a very good arc. Stories that put a focus on the villains for a bit usually are, because we get to see sides of a story we aren’t usually exposed to. Ventress is a character we knew very little about, and this greatly expands her as a character. Getting a new wildcard in the form of Savage is fun, as is the promise of Darth Maul’s return. And this was good to get Dooku some of his villain credibility back. He’s been rebuilding that lately. If your bad guys never win, they never seem dangerous. So giving him a W helps the show as a whole.

This episode also expands the universe in a a way we haven’t seen any of the TV shows or movies do before. It shows us other traditions of the Force outside of the Jedi and Sith; while those factions are dominant there are others in this world. It’s the sort of thing that really makes you want to know more; and when we get more, we love it. Hell, when I heard Darth Maul was being resurrected for this show, I went back and watched the episodes that were relevant to it, starting with this arc. It was good enough to make me watch a show that I’d previously dismissed.

In terms of character development, plot advancement, and worldbuilding, this is the best arc in Season 3 by a mile. From what I’ve watched this time around, I’d put it just below the Mandalorian arc from season 2. It tells a very good story that expands the world and its characters in compelling ways that make us want to know more; and those promises are more than fulfilled later down the line.

It’s the good shit.

[thecandywrites]

The Perfect Magic Touch

ya’ll I have an obsession. Modern orcs. I have A MIGHTY THIRST for them. So here I am trying to sate my own thirst and if ya’ll like it too, that’s a bonus. 

So- this is Rox- A CEO, a divorcee, a single dad trying to do his best to raise his son with his own dramatic and tragic backstory. Oh yes. All the cliches. And Zara a poor widow who had life do her wrong and has had to pull herself up by her own bootstraps, which again, CLICHE. I know but I don’t care. So enjoy. 

Rox and Zara- The Perfect Magic Touch

You walked into the large office building, your specialized massage chair rolling behind you- a specialty item that had cost you a fortune but that you felt was worth the investment, it was made out of a titanium alloy that was both ridiculously light while also ridiculously strong and wildly adjustable so that you could work on the smallest midget dwarf or the largest orc and accommodate both and everyone in between.

Everyone smiled happily and waived and greeted you excitedly. You were a massage therapist and you had the sweetest gig ever. You came into the office and gave 5- 15 minute treatments to the office workers, usually you’d set up your chair on a floor and treat everyone on that floor that day which kept you very busy since it took you three weeks to get to every floor of the 15 story office building and you got paid in cash at the rate of a dollar a minute and you treated up to 20 patients every hour so you made about fifty dollars an hour plus tips which pushed you into the 75-100 dollar an hour range and you worked on average of 6 hours a day from 9-3 - five days a week at the office and then out of your home on Saturdays and you were making bank. You were incorporated yourself and you were insured yourself and you made your own hours while still being able to care for your daughter Audrey and yourself really well.

And the reason you were exceptionally successful was that you had what your teachers and clients called “the perfect touch” or “the magic touch” or combined and used most often “the perfect magic touch”. You weren’t actually magic but you had a gift and a talent as a massage therapist and your touch was considered to be the holy grail of perfect. You spoke the language of the body long before you had gone to college to learn it formally. You had the kind of touch that was both therapeutic and relaxing while balancing medically corrective, a skill most massage therapists spent years honing but that you just naturally had a knack for knowing and using. And it’s what made you so sought after.  

Plus you made each client feel like you came all the way just for them and you seemed to remember everyone and their names and their spouses names and kids names and pets names and what was going on in their lives because you genuinely cared. And it was because you were genuine that your perfect magic touch was even better.

Even your Saturdays, when you chose to work them in your house, you were booked solid, you felt like a psychologist while you were a massage therapist because you heard everyone’s story and you had the whole picture of what was going on because you got everyone’s side but you never repeated what you heard from your clients and you earned their trust and confidence.

Your first stop after graduation was to this office building and to Mr. Rox Mikael’s office who was the new CEO of Kaziki Enterprises who he himself had only gotten that position a few months prior to your own arrival to the company. And every Friday, your last hour of the day was spent working on him and over the course of a couple of months you got to befriend him and were on very friendly terms with him. You were one of the privileged few who really got to know him as a person rather than just ‘the boss’ a feared and respected one at that. He was a divorcee himself with a son, Atris, only a couple of months older than your daughter and they were in the same grade in different schools, your daughter went to public school while Rox could afford to send his son to a private school. And you two bonded over the shenanigans your kids got into. Atris was always getting hurt playing sports or playing roughly with his friends and Audrey was Extra and Dramatic and you felt like your life with her was part soap opera and you both dreaded and feared her teenage years and you forbid her to date until she was a decade older than she was simply to save you and her some headaches and heartaches.

But today was a little different, today you were a little out of sorts because today was a certain anniversary.  

“You ok?” Rox asked as he stripped his dress shirt and under shirt off because you treated him in the comfort and privacy of his office and he got you for a whole hour so he got a full upper body massage and he always took his shirts off so you could have all the access to his magnificent body you wanted before he came over to your massage chair but paused to look at you while you seemed deep in thought getting your lotion prepped on your hands. And to be honest, him stripping out of his shirts was usually your favorite part of the week. He was built like a god and he had no right to be as gorgeous or magnificent as he was. He was a half orc himself, half orc and half elf which meant his skin tone was much lighter and brighter than other orcs, your favorite color- turquoise, he had cheek bones and a jaw line you could cut a pussy on along with these tusks that while they weren’t as large as others, something about their super bright pearly whiteness banded and inlaid with gold in these gorgeous designs really popped and those big Bambi brown eyes he had made you swoon and he was just as broad as other orcs and just as well muscled and despite his office and desk job and was just naturally thicc in the best way. He had the best ass you’ve ever seen in your life and had gotten the pleasure of working on that you just wanted to sink your teeth into and he had pecks you wanted to motorboat and abs you could wash all your laundry on when you weren’t fantasizing licking the trail of hair that went from his belly button down and you felt you were gifted my the gods themselves when he would “accidentally” sport a boner but he did his best to hide them but you knew one when you saw one and he was packing. And he had a wonderful tuft of super dark brown, almost black- curly chest hair across his chest and it formed the happy trail from his pecks, to his belly button to his groin and god you just wanted to lick and kiss it all and his actual hair on his head was this gorgeous head of hair groomed impeccably well except for a single, big fat braid in the back of his head, which was the tradition of most orcs in this area was to have a single long braid in the back to put all their beads on.

He was your favorite client here. On top of being gorgeous, he was actually, genuinely nice, incredibly respectful, thoughtful, kind and generous. You could not understand how he was divorced. You couldn’t understand how any sane woman in her right mind would ever leave Mr. Perfect for anyone else. It just wasn’t fair and he had fueled so many lust filled fantasies you’ve been having especially since you met him. You were actually interested in him but you held back because you were a larger woman and a human elf mixed person yourself and you didn’t think he would find you attractive.

Because being half elf, meant you got the amazing eyes, great cheek bones and the half pointed ears. But that’s where your elf heritage ended for you personally. From the neck down you were very much human, you had larger breasts but coupled with a gut and butt and thunder thighs and it didn’t matter how much you tried to starve yourself, or go on diet after diet, the weight stayed with you. So after a while and a lot of therapy you simply learned to accept yourself while also really throwing yourself into really good food because if you were going to be big, you were going to enjoy it. Most people assumed you were half orc actually just without the tusks. Your sisters, no they got the more lithe body types and bone structures in their faces that leaned more towards elves, they just didn’t get the eyes. There were many days you’d give up your gorgeous rich and deep turquoise eyes if it meant you were half the size you were simply to keep people from treating you like garbage because you were ‘fat’.

Meanwhile Rox’s ex wife might as well be a super model and you definitely were not, at least in your own opinion, you felt like the moment you hit 30 there was nothing about yourself to be desired anymore. So it stayed a lovely fantasy.  

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just having an off day, everyone has those.” You tried to dismiss with a shrug of your shoulders as your face stayed downcast but he seemed very reluctant to let it go.

“What’s made it an off day?” He asked, his voice surprisingly soft and gentle as he didn’t move from his spot.

Truth be told he had actually become fiercely protective of you since you started here, hell since the moment he met you. He was so proud of your zero flirtation policy because you were a legitimate masseuse and he highly respected you for your skills especially and he would not hear of anyone talking bad about you or gossiping about you or heaven forbid talking licentiously about you. One poor soul actually had the nerve to proposition you for a “happy ending massage” and when Rox overheard it as he was walking by and nearly went into a rage. After that moment Rox changed your contracted agreement so that the company technically subcontracted you out so that you were protected by HR from any and all sexual harassment and even gave you health insurance along with a retirement plan which was the greatest thing ever and so you technically got a paycheck in addition to being paid in your traditional way but you were under no one’s authority but your own, not even Rox could ever boss you around, not that he would but still. And when you started working here- the call off rate dropped significantly on Mondays and Fridays and he could literally track which floor you had worked on the day before because suddenly the performances and productivity spiked the day after you came since the day you were on that floor, it lulled because people were distracted in anticipation of your treatments but the productivity spikes more than made up for it. People did so much better in their presentations because you were there to give them a few moments of treatment before their presentation and gave them pep talks during their treatments which means they usually did magnificently. You were the epitome of sunshine, bright, cheerful, funny a literal joy to be around so to see you down was bothersome. Especially to Rox.  

“Well...” You began before you took a deep breath and looked away, weighing whether or not to tell him. “Rox, this is your time, you should enjoy it. What has made my day an off day is not something you or anyone else can fix.” You tried to circumvent with a halfhearted but brave smile but there was a sadness in your eyes that was killing Rox, like a knife to the heart, liver and kidneys that was slowly being twisted.  

“It’s your time too, if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” Rox invited and you caved.

“Today is my wedding anniversary to my late husband, he died a year and a half ago, today we would have celebrated 15 years of marriage. I was a stay at home wife and mother for most of that time and when he died, he didn’t have much of a life insurance policy and by the time I paid for his funeral and paid off all our debt, which there was a lot of, there wasn’t much of anything left. So I split the last of it to pay for living expenses for Audrey and I- and to send me to college and to support us both while I was in college so I wouldn’t have to keep down a job and be a full time student and this career is something I’ve always wanted since I was in elementary school but I just never got a chance to pursue it before now, and with today being our anniversary..it’s um...it’s difficult. Because a small part of me misses him and a bigger part of me is still mad at him for dying and leaving me in the lurch, the last few months before graduation were really tough because my savings dwindled down to nothing and it felt like it was just me and my daughter against the world, you know? So...it’s just a lot of mixed feelings today, throwing me off kilter.” You informed him as he blinked in surprise. You wore a silicone wedding band while you worked and an actual wedding ring when you didn’t work, everyone just assumed you were married and while you usually always talked about your daughter, he realized, you had never mentioned your husband, or lack thereof before and he felt like a dick because here you had been talking and been friends for months and he didn’t know that about you. And he felt he should have.  

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured as his shoulders literally sagged.

“Thank you, so, it’s a very good thing I’m here today, I’m the kind of person that needs to stay busy and keep distracted and working is both.” You sighed tiredly with a brave smile that didn’t reach yo eyes, which you felt was your only redeeming quality. “So have a seat and let me do that and keep this poor widow from having to tell you her sob story.” You gently teased as you nodded to the chair with another forced smile and maybe your eyes were deceiving you but he seemed incredibly torn, like he wanted to hug you or hold you or something.

“Is there anything I can do? Any way at all I can help? At all?” Rox asked as he sat down into place, you were right, there wasn’t much of anything he could do to fix that and he felt surprisingly powerless and helpless- he hated those feelings, because of his own life experiences, he had worked incredibly hard all of his life to be where he was so he would never have to feel that way again, and here he had spent all this time being jealous of a dead man who had a beautiful, talented and wonderful wife and hoping and wishing and praying that he appreciated you and come to find out, he hadn’t, that bastard. Any man who failed to take care of his own, even in death, was a dishonor and a disgrace. Part of orc culture was that male orcs weren’t allowed to get married unless they could afford a good life insurance policy on themselves so that even in death they could care for their mates and partners for years after they died, usually at least ten. To not have enough to take care of you properly so that you could grieve properly because if his math was right, you would have had to go right into massage school within days, weeks at the most after loosing your husband, even the whole time you were in school you should have been mourning, you shouldn’t have had to worry about anything but getting yourself and your daughter through that emotionally. So to know that you had done so much more purely out of survival- that was unthinkable to him and he was outraged and outright offended, he was furious with your husband for leaving you in the lurch too. He only wished he had known you sooner and would have been able to do something sooner and saved you that hardship. But he would be damned if you ever encountered it again. However, what he hated even more was the see the light and fire in your eyes practically die out, even for the briefest of moments.

You were a trusted friend, one he had learned he could talk to and keep your confidence and he kept yours and you were the highlight of his week. Even getting his own paychecks didn’t compare to the solid hour of undivided attention from you. Because of the situation with his ex wife he had tried to swear off women, thinking they were all the same but you had proved how wrong he was to think that and put faith that maybe he just had gotten a bad one and that good women still existed in the world and that he shouldn’t give up hope that maybe he still had a chance of getting a good one, who would see him for him and not see him a stepping stone to bigger and better things that he couldn’t provide now matter how hard he worked. But you, you worked hard and you didn’t pull any punches and you went after what you wanted and had a fulfilling career on top of being a great mom, he admired you and admired your character and your work ethic, hell just your ethics in general he admired and inspired him to bolster his own. Even your size and shape was especially appealing, his ex wife had simply appealed to what he thought he should want since every other guy said that his wife was perfect. But he knew that she was far from it. She was as shallow as a puddle and so vain and so full of herself and he doubted she ever really loved anything, not even their son like she should. The only thing she ever loved was the money he made and what it could buy her and she was as fake as they came.

But you- no you were real, you were fun with an excellent sense of humor. You were charming and just a general delight to be around. You even cooked. Like cooked cooked, should have been a chef kind of cooked. He lost track of how many times you had brought him food, new recipes you were tying out and he had been ready to try to steal you away from your husband because the food alone was worth trying but he did not want to disrespect you or your own marriage vows and so he withheld himself but it only seemed to fuel his own jealousy while also fueling his own fantasies of pining you down to his desk and feasting on you properly.

So to see you so down actually hurt him and he was surprised at how much it hurt him. Like his heart was taken out of his chest and trampled on all over again. But at the same time, part of him also wanted to pin you to his desk and make you forget you ever had a husband and show you he could take care of you, in every way possible. He mused you could take him, hopefully comfortably. He was willing to bet he could fuck you right out of your funk and make your day a whole lot of better. But that could wait, now he just needed to focus on you.

“Not really no, but thank you for offering. I’m taking my daughter out to dinner tonight, just the two of us, we have a six o’clock reservation at Pappadaux’s, it’s our favorite restaurant besides Red Lobster and that will give me time to go home and get cleaned up and get her off the bus and get her cleaned up and her hair curled and put a tiny bit of makeup on her, just a light shimmering eyeshadow and a bit of mascara and some lip gloss because she’s 8 and she doesn’t need to be dolled up dolled up. But enough that she feels extra pretty and special and last year when we did this we had fun and we only cried a little as we reminded each other of the fun times we got to enjoy since we lost him. Hopefully tonight, we won’t cry at all.” You smiled fondly as you started working on his neck as your own voice cracked as tears began to flood your vision but you willed them away, not wanting to actually cry on Rox. That would be unprofessional. Because the gods knew you just wanted to cry into his chest before asking him to help make you feel better than you ever did...by fucking you senseless. But no, he would never go for that and you’d ruin everything by even asking, even as a joke.

“I hope it turns out that way. That sounds...like a nice way to spend the evening.” Rox murmured as his own voice was thick with emotion and he willed his own eyes not to shed tears either, because he didn’t want to be unprofessional either but still, you were a trusted friend and his instincts were screaming at him as his mind worked into overtime, grasping at straws and trying to think of a way to make it better anyway. And he was just so close to throwing professionalism out the window and make this personal. Well, more personal than it already was. Fuck this was frustrating.

“It will be nice. I get both of us some pretty flowers and we dress up and we get each other some jewelry, it’s lovely.” You nodded as your smile grew more genuine and the tone of your voice got lighter as your tears dried up as Rox’s ear’s literally perked up. Flowers and jewelry, he could do that, he could work with that. That was easy and it was a start and that’s all he needed.

“What do you usually get yourself? Jewelry wise...I’m just..curious.” Rox asked, hoping he wasn’t being too obvious or transparent.

“Oh, necklaces, usually pendants and earrings, I have very sensitive ears, so I need to either get stainless steel or 24k gold, nothing with nickle or zinc in it, I can’t even do 925 silver.” You answered casually as you finished with his neck and started with his shoulders and once done with those you worked on his back and once done there you brought a chair over and worked on his- well frankly- impressive arms that were like tree trunks, you were pretty sure he could heft you up with one arm if he wanted to. Oh hell you had had fantasies of him picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder to fuck you against a wall or on his desk because he was surely strong enough for that. Focus Zara. Job at hand, job at hand.

Because let’s be honest, Rox was..perfect. By any standard. He was gorgeous, he was tall and broad and very well muscled and intimidating when he wanted to be. And he was your favorite color. Even though he was very quiet in the beginning of your treatments, once he got used to you, he opened up and let his hair down so to speak and you two shared a comfortable ease with each other and got along really well and became fast friends and were on first name basis with each other and while you both tried to remember to stay professional, that didn’t mean you couldn’t have fun and you had often told him of the antics of your daughter or other fun things you found on the internet since you saw him last, in fact you usually stayed a whole 10-15 minutes late just sharing funny memes you found on the internet or funny videos. Rox was a very good father, at least that’s the impression you got from him anyway, Rox’s own father was amazing and he was determined to be a good father to his son despite his ex wife who was and who his own mother was, by all accounts, a bitch and had left him for his former boss who was now retired and he had gotten this job thinking his wife would come back to him but she had simply gave birth to a son then gotten plastic surgery to make herself hotter than hot and super model skinny and moved on to ‘greener pastures’, gold digging tramp that she was and was usually on the hunt for sugar daddies since she didn’t work besides fucking said greener pastures.

And you couldn’t understand how she could ever use and then leave Rox, he was actually genuinely nice and kind and thoughtful and so sweet and generous- at least when he was with you otherwise he was revered, driven and focused. He commanded attention and respect everywhere he went, and he worked incredibly hard and led by example and you could do nothing but highly respect that. He dressed really nicely, he groomed himself spectacularly well, he worked out and took care of himself. But even as intimidating as he was, for you, he might as well be putty in your hands because you could bring him to his knees with just the squeeze of your hands in the right spots. But he loved it. He loved it when ‘hurt him so good’ and attacked those knots in his body that he got from working out or bad posture and it cracked you up to hear him whimper and hiss and whine, teasingly accusing you of enjoying hurting him. ‘I’m not sadistic or masochistic either, a little pain now means more pleasure later.’ you had told him a time or two. That and you ended each treatment you gave him with a really good hard back scratch, easily memorizing his ‘itchy spots’ he had. And the groaning and growling he did as he playfully kicked his legs like he was a dog cracked you up and left you laughing quite hard, sometimes to the point of crying and needing to use his private bathroom so you wouldn’t pee yourself. Even scratching his scalp, which he didn’t mind redoing his hair because the scalp massage and scalp scratching was divine and you loved to watch his eyes roll into the back of his head and wondered if he had the same expression when he came too.  

“So, would you and your daughter simply like to go alone or would you mind some company?” Rox finally gathered the courage to ask as he debated the last few long minutes whether or not he should even ask. But he felt like this was his one opportunity and he had to take it. He just had to.

“As in you?” You asked curiously as you paused massaging his arm as you bent over to see his face and give him a curious look.

“Well, me and Atris.” He corrected before you sat back up and continued to work on his forearm.

“Does Atris even like seafood? Pappadaux’s is an expensive seafood restaurant. And nose bleed expensive at that. Audrey and I only go for really special occasions.” You questioned as you realized, if anyone else had asked you would have told them no but Rox...Rox was different...he...he was friend and technically was in your situation and you two had bonded over being parents, he just didn’t know before today that you were both single parents. You had known he was a single parent, you had actually listened to him talk at length about his mother and especially his ex-wife and how he felt uncomfortable trying to date with a son his age and how he felt he had to be picky for his son’s sake but feared his own pickiness was going to lead to his everlasting being alone. And you had never felt more kindred to him than in those moments because you felt the exact same way. And you simply reminded him that he should stay picky because it was better to hold out for a good one than to settle out of desperation and be disappointed again, which is exactly what had happened to you. You yourself never mentioned that you were single because you didn’t want to appear to be a gold digger like his ex-wife, only going after him because he was the CEO and you cherished your friendship with him so much you didn’t want to ruin it. Plus he was an orc, his ex wife was an elf/human hybrid just like you only she got the best of both worlds, she was gorgeous and you worried that he would never look at either humans or elves or any combinations of that kindly because of her. That and you were just a curvaceous, fluffy masseuse, he was a CEO big shot who deserved arm candy half your size and twice as beautiful as you to be his trophy wife. You were no trophy. You felt weren’t even a prize and as close as you were, was as close as you were ever going to get to him. He deserved better. But him asking to go out to dinner with you and your daughter and actually include his son? His precious Atris? Almost too much to hope for. Maybe he was just being nice. He didn’t mean that in a romantic way, he meant that in a friendly manner. Which was very sweet of him.

“Yeah,” Rox confirmed.

“Well let me ask Audrey and see what she thinks and I’ll either call you or text you her answer.” You offered, trying to remind yourself that your daughter was the most important person in your life and she needed to be ok with having your usually private dinner alone open to others.

“Ok.” He agreed as you moved to the later parts of his treatment, a really good back scratch and his scalp.

“There we go, all better?” You asked as you wiped your hands off on a wet wipe.

“Yes, much,” Rox nodded as he got up and put his shirts back on.

“Next time next week?” You asked as you went to your calendar with a pen.

“Absolutely.” Rox nodded and you nodded and put his name in that space as he dug into his wallet and pulled out two one hundred dollar bills, he was usually your most generous client, often gifting you a hundred dollar bill for the one full hour on him and gave them to you.

“Hey, there’s two, did they stick together?” You said as you tried to give him the other bill.

“Nope, just in case I don’t see you again in a few hours, dinner’s on me tonight.” Rox explained.

“So if you do end up coming, do you want it back then?” You asked as you hesitantly and slowly brought your arm back into your body.

“Nope,” he shook his head no with a victorious grin.

“Ok, well thank you very much.” You thanked him as you put the money into your pocket as you broke down your chair and put it back together in it’s suit case form again.

“Hey Zara?” Rox asked as he put his tie back on as he watched you appreciatively, a thousand and one things whirling in his mind and heart to ask you, to tell you and couldn’t decide what to go with first.

“Hmm?” You answered as you paused to look up at him.

“Not to be weird or overstepping boundaries, well anymore than I already did inviting myself and my son to dinner, did you need or want rather..um, a hug?” He asked awkwardly and you couldn’t help but smile. He only ever seemed to be awkward with you. Otherwise he was cool and collected and smooth. It made you appreciate the fact that he was just a normal person just like everyone else.

“I would love a hug.” You nodded as you met each other half way and hugged. You sighed contentedly and happily as he squeezed you, oh this was heavenly.  Shit, fuck. Well, might as well go for broke. “Ok, I need a favor,” you said, your words muffled by his shirt. Not wanting to ever leave his embrace. Ever. Again.

“Anything.” Rox returned.

“Ok so I’m gonna put my arms around your neck and I need you to lift me without hurting yourself and squeeze around me in like my bra strap area to crack my back.” You requested before he pulled away just enough that you could do that and you could feel him smile as he stood to his full height, both arms wrapped tightly and securely around you to keep you securely to his chest so you didn’t have to hold on for dear life and all the weight from your hold around is neck, just enough to give your back some relieving stretching and cracked your back. And not just that area, he changed his hold a couple times to get your whole back. It was magnificently epic. And this time it was your turn to make those pleased growling groans which made Rox rumble a deep chuckle as he just hugged and held you for the briefest of moments but mentally chided himself for relishing every precious nano second of your embrace before he set you back down. Oh yeah, having worked out with way more weight than he estimated you to be just paid off.  

“Thanks Rox, you’re the best.” You thanked him graciously and kissed his cheek super quickly but sweetly all the same as you let go and walked back to your chair. “See ya.” You called after him over your shoulder, your bright smile returning and the fire in your eyes lighting up the room again, not noticing how he seemed to be frozen in place, barely breathing, his big Bambi brown eyes never leaving you until you actually left his sight before he seemed to come back to his senses and shake his head out of his stupor before the largest smile plastered itself onto his face.

He had a date. Oh he was so happy and excited. He immediately left work and surprised the babysitter by coming home on time to get his son off the bus at his apartment since he had his son on the weekends.

“Hey Dad, you’re home early.” Atris noted as he got off the bus and walked towards his Dad curiously.

“Yeah, listen, I’m waiting on a call or possibly a text and we may have plans for dinner so I need you to go get changed out of your uniform and get dressed in something really nice and even if I don’t get the text, we’re going out to eat for dinner.” Rox informed his son urgently because even if Audrey wasn’t cool with company, he wanted to try to sit close to you and pay for dinner anyway even if he had to do it from across the restaurant and hoped that wasn’t creepy as Atris simply gave his dad a curious look but obeyed as they went into the apartment building up to Rox’s apartment, the loft apartment all the way at the top and got dressed out of his school uniform into some nice clothes, suitable for going out to a fancy restaurant.

“So who are we going out to eat with?” Atris asked as he emerged from his room in a nice polo shirt and a pair of slacks. Hoping this was nice enough.

“Zara Oliver and her daughter Audrey.” He answered as he kept refreshing his phone and turned his ringers all the way up to make sure he didn’t miss the text or the call. Trying to give you time to get your own daughter off the bus and ask Audrey while you helped her with her homework.

“Who?” Atris asked, not recognizing those names.

“Zara is my massage therapist.” Rox supplied.

“Like actual massage therapist therapist or “massage therapist”.” Atris asked for clarification with air quotes as Rox narrowed his eyes and gave his son an unimpressed look.

“Medical massage therapist, legitimate, she has her degrees and certifications and everything and before you ask, no this isn’t a date date. Today is Zara’s wedding anniversary, but her husband died over a year ago so we’re just going to keep her and her daughter company for the evening, you will behave and you’ll be charming.” Rox commanded his son firmly.

“Ok, what’s this Zara like anyway?” Atris asked.

“Lovely.” Rox answered as he turned back to his phone as a grin broke out on his face.

“What’s her daughter like?” Atris asked.

“Dramatic.” Rox snorted a laugh which got Atris to snort one too. “Oh so normal?” Atris teased.

“I guess.” Rox shrugged before you texted.

“And how old is Audrey? Do I get to babysit her or something?” Atris asked.

“She’s a few months younger than you so no but it would be nice if you conversed nicely with her.” Rox answered.  

“I’ll try but if she talks about My Little Pony or Littlest Petshop, or something else super lame, I’m playing Candy Crush on my phone.” Atris warned his dad. Who spared him another warning look.

“Or not.” Atris gulped.

‘Audrey said yes, I already called the restaurant to change the reservation for four so I’ll see you there at six.’ Rox shook his fit in victory.

“Yes!” Rox cheered. “Ok, we gotta go, we gotta pick a few things up.” Rox informed his son as he seemed to spring into action and quickly took his son to the florist, to the jewelry store and to a chocolate store before they headed to the restaurant.

“So, let me get this straight, we’re not going on a “date” date but yet you’re giving this woman and her daughter, flowers, chocolates and jewelry…?” Atris asked as he sat in the passenger seat of his dad’s car and held everything as he scarfed down from his own box of chocolates.

“...Yes. Ok, I’ll level with you. This woman that we’re meeting tonight, is the single most attractive woman I’ve ever met, she’s amazing and gorgeous and even if her daughter is the biggest hellion brat, I would still give my left nut to just go on one date with her and if this is my one date, I’ll take it. Everyone in my company tries to flirt with her but she has a zero flirtation policy and so far she’s dropped clients left and right for even trying to cross the line and so even I don’t flirt with her while she’s working. We’ve kept things friendly and professional and I’m praying I don’t screw this up because if I do, I’ll have to find another massage therapist and no one compares with her. She’s human and she has these beautiful tiny delicate hands and she could bring me to my knees, has brought me to my knees crying because she’s a medical massage therapist and her treatments are painful but medically corrective rather than ‘relax make you feel good’ massage. Ok? So yeah I know, it’s overkill and a bit much, but this is my one shot and I gotta go big or go home you know? I didn’t even know she was single or a widow until today when she told me it was her anniversary with her late husband and she told me she was going to spend it alone with her daughter and I couldn’t... accept that so I offered for you and I to accompany her and her daughter for dinner and she accepted and I think she only accepted it as friends. I didn’t ask to do this under any other circumstances.” Rox explained.

“Oh so she friendzoned you like everyone else and you’re trying to get out of the friendzone.” Atris realized with a grin.

“...yes.” Rox huffed as his shoulders slouched as he grumped at his windshield.

“Ok,” Atris nodded in understanding before they sat in silence for a while.

“What are the chances her daughter is cute?” Atis asked.

“100%” Rox answered without hesitation.

“Really?” Atris blinked in surprise as a little grin grew on his face.

“Yeah, she’s shown me pictures, Audrey is gorgeous just like her mother.” Rox admitted.

“Like how gorgeous are we talking here?” Atris asked curiously.

“Long blonde hair down to her butt, bright turquoise eyes, gorgeous.” Rox recalled.

“Ooh,” Atris oohed.

“Yeah and we’re both going to be perfect gentlemen got it?” Rox urged.

“Got it.” Atris nodded and grinned giddily.

Once at the restaurant, Rox and Atris both stopped in their tracks when they saw you and Audrey relaxing on one of the couches in the little garden area by the fountain as the air in both of their lungs crashed from them and left them both breathless. Rox had only ever seen you in your scrubs with minimal makeup and your hair up in either a pony tail or a messy bun. Now, you were in this beautiful flowing blouse and leggings and your long hair was down in ringlet curls and your make up was full on ethereal goddess and even Audrey looked especially darling. He was not worthy. Don’t fuck it up Rox. He thought to himself.

“Dad, please tell me that’s her.” Atris murmured to his father as he looked from Audrey to his dad.

“Yeah, that’s them.” Rox confirmed as he willed his body forward and tried not trip over his own feet as he suddenly felt extremely clumsy and awkward like he did when he first met you.

“Hey, you guys made it.” You greeted cheerfully as you turned your head and saw them, their movement catching the corner of your eye as you and Audrey found your feet to greet them.

“You must be Atris, hi, I’m Zara and this is my daughter Audrey, thank you guys so much for joining us tonight.” You introduced as you held your hand out for him to shake as he finally tore his eyes off of Audrey to look up at you as Audrey half hid herself behind you shyly.

“Hi,” Atris greeted but his voice cracked something awful and his cheeks instantly blushed a deep green as he shook your hand and then pulled his hand back and you could tell he was embarrassed.

“Atris, it’s ok, my husband was well into his thirties and his voice still cracked. Even my voice cracks from time to time in fact it did this afternoon when I was talking to your dad so it’s ok, no need to be embarrassed.” You reassured him as Rox smiled gratefully at you.

“Thanks.” Atris mumbled before he offered the flowers in his other hand towards Audrey. “These are for you.” Atris said as Rox seemed to remember he was holding flowers too and handed them to you along with the gift bag that had the chocolates and the jewelry in it to you as well, the jewelry being slipped into the bag from the chocolate store.

“Aww, thank you.” You smiled happily as you graciously took them from him as Audrey mirrored you.

“Thank you.” Audrey said softly as she happily took the flowers and smelled them. “So how do you know my mom?” Audrey questioned Rox directly. “Do you pay her to hurt you?” She asked pointedly as you burst into laughter as both of you blushing as he was laughing too, albeit a little nervously while Atris was all kinds of confused.  

“Baby, again, you can’t say it like that. Yes I treat him with massage therapy but when you say it like that- it makes it sound like an innuendo like I’m a dominatrix who specializes in actually inflicting pain with hot wax, gags, whips and chains and things like that, and I definitely do not do that, so you need to stop asking everyone that. Because when you do you can embarrass them and me.” You explained. Even though Rox was now envisioning just that with you in a black leather corset with fishnets and thigh high heels and a riding crop with himself gagged with his hands tied behind his back as he whimpered around his gag for mercy and release as his cock would be hard enough to fuck through steel and having the hardest time not physically reacting to that. Oh fuck, too late, uh, dead puppies, dead kittens, grandma naked, his ex wife fucking a ninety year old man geizer, there, that killed his boner.

“Ooh, so that’s what a...” Atris began to say before Rox reached out and pinched the back of Atris’ arm to keep him from finishing that sentence as he gave his son a warning look and sharp shake of his head ‘no’ as he cleared his throat as you bit your lips as you realized you may have been inappropriate yourself.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to uh..?” You apologized with a grimace to Rox who waived it off before the buzzer went off that your table was ready and the four of you made it inside, Atris getting the first door as Rox got the second for you all as you went to the podium and handed in your buzzer and were shown your table.

“Woah! Look at those lobsters!” Atris marveled as you passed the giant lobster tank that had lobsters of various sizes, mostly large 7, 8 and 9 pound ones.

“I know! How hungry are you? Could you eat a whole one of those?” You asked as you held Audrey’s hand and led her to the table where all of you sat down at the table, you and Rox sitting kitty corner from each other as Atris and Audrey did the same, both Atris and Rox pulling out your chairs for you and Audrey which made you and Audrey smile brightly before they themselves sat down.

“I don’t know.” Atris shrugged.

“Have you ever had lobster before?” You asked Atris thoughtfully.

“Have I?” Atris asked his dad who shrugged as he looked over the menu. As your eyes got wide, oh gods, what if he was actually allergic to shellfish? Some kids were so picky they never tried seafood until they were in situations like this.  

“You’re not allergic to shellfish are you? Have you ever had shrimp before?” You asked Atris carefully.

“Yup, they’re really good.” Atris nodded yes and you blew out a breath of relief as Rox simply grinned, seeing you so concerned for his son was just heart warming and just endeared yourself to him further. His ex wife wouldn’t have cared enough to ask or remember.

“Good, well shrimp, lobster and crab are in the same family called crustaceans so if you’ve had one of those three and weren’t allergic to it, you’ll be able to eat the others without too much trouble. Now they have something here called crawfish, which is like a lobster that’s the size of a shrimp but they do all the work of cracking them open and taking the tails out and frying those so you eat them like popcorn shrimp and those are our favorite.” You explained as you gestured to Audrey and yourself as Rox nodded in understanding to that and stored that little fact to his memory along with all the other information he was able to glean from you and continued to look at the menu for a moment before the waitress came and got your drink order, yourself getting the sweet sangria as Audrey ordered an IBC rootbeer which Atris got the same thing, wanting to match her and mirror her so she would like him as Rox got a mixed drink too and then surprised you with getting a few appetizers for all of you after you put in an order of the alligator since that was one of Audrey’s favorites as Atris lit up at the prospect of getting to try alligator, which to him was very cool and so far even Audrey was cool and he liked her immediately. His dad had been right, Audrey was beyond cute, she was gorgeous.

“Thank you, you ordered my favorite.” You smiled at Rox who lit up at that. His own eyes dancing in delight.

“Yeah? Which one?” He asked giddily, barely able to contain an excited giggle even though inwardly he was cheering and jumping for joy.

“The fondeaux, it’s in the app trio.” you specified as you pointed to it on his menu.

“It sounded delicious.” Rox nodded before Audrey started talking about her new Tik Tok video she watched that she liked as Atris lit up, really loving Tik Tok videos too as they eagerly and excitedly started talking about their favorites as Rox and yourself listened and watched as Rox noticed you were leaning in your chair towards him slightly which he liked very much as he debated whether or not to reach out and try to hold your hand under the table or not as you and him simply shared your favorite vines.

A few moments later your server came back with your drinks and got your dinner order and you got your favorite, the Pappadaux’s platter with broccolini and weren’t surprised when Rox ordered two entrees, the prime rib with a whole 7lb lobster along with the Texas red fish Pontchartrain or when Atris ordered the shrimp and cajun chicken tenderloins entree with french fries because orcs had really big appetites because even Audrey had a big appetite when she was going through growth spurts since she got the fried shrimp and crawfish platter with broccolini and dirty rice. You noticed Atris small look of disgust when Audrey ordered broccolini before he looked up and that look disappeared from his face in an instant as Audrey asked him excitedly if he had ever had it before and he admitted that he hadn't but seemed tickled that she was going to share some of hers with him because sharing food was seen as an intimate gesture to orcs and humans alike.  

“Hey if it gets him to eat vegetables,” You murmured to Rox who snorted a laugh. Atris was typical because he hated vegetables. Audrey was different because she loved vegetables, you and her always had a vegetable garden together every summer and grew your own and she loved broccoli, since she could eat solid food broccoli and broccolini were her all time favorites along with green beans and peas and carrots and corn.

When the appetizers came, you all passed them around, getting tastes and bites of each one as the conversation turned more towards the mundane and what was going on in school and things and you couldn’t help but feel like you were a family sharing a meal together, it was nice. Like a whole family rather than two splintered ones. Not that you were any less legitimate or valid or whole as a family or that Rox’s family with his son was either, but since your husband’s death you felt like your family was less whole without your husband being a part of it. And you knew Rox kinda felt the same way with his own son. But he couldn’t help who Atris’ mother was.

And after a couple of drinks both you and Rox seemed to relax and cut loose more and the gentle teasing and laughing really flowed as dinner was served and then it was quiet as everyone dug into their food before the sharing began since you all got something different as you continued to pass plates around until you got to try a little of everything from everyone and then when the dessert tray came though your jaw dropped when Rox ordered one of everything and then asked for one check for all of you which you blew out a small breath of relief for because two hundred bucks was not going to cover this, hell you didn’t think four hundred would either.

“Thank you Rox for dinner.” You thanked Rox as you nudged Audrey under the table to thank him too.

“Thank you Rox.” Audrey repeated pleasantly before Audrey excused herself to go to the bathroom before Atris got up and ‘escorted’ her to make sure she made it there safe which left you and Rox at the table which you were grateful for. Because you had wanted to really talk with him openly and couldn’t do that with your kids there.

“Alright, you and I need to talk.” You informed him as you turned in your seat and turned towards him as you saw his eyes widen a smidgen as he gulped and immediately clasped his hands together in his lap anxiously.

“You’re not in trouble, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.” You reassured him when you saw how tense he suddenly became. Those knots in his shoulders were not going to be fun getting out.

“Are you trying to impress me?” You asked gently and delicately.

“Yes,” Rox admitted guiltily.

“Ok, you don’t need to do that, you really, really don’t need to blow what will probably be 500 dollars on one dinner to try to impress me or my daughter, that’s more than we spend on groceries in a month, I’ve seen you shirtless, trying to hide a boner and made you beg for mercy and ask for help, that’s all the impressing I could ever want or need, not that I’m shallow and after you for your looks which I’m not but I’m very attracted to your physical person in addition to your personality which is more important to me because who you are as a person should outweigh what you do for a living and how much you make doing it. Next, please don’t try to buy me off or buy my daughter off,” you pleaded as you picked up the jewelry box from the bag from the chocolate shop for emphasis before you put it back. “All that will do is make both of us feel cheap because any woman who can be bought isn’t worth having to begin with- also I don’t want to send the wrong message to your son thinking all he has to do is shower enough gifts, attention and kindness into any girl he wants to get what he wants from her like she’s a vending machine or something and I don’t want him thinking that myself or Audrey are those kinds of girls either, second I don’t want to send the message to my daughter to simply hold out her own affections and only bestow them for whoever can get her the latest and greatest and the bigger and the best. She’s already been approached by modeling agencies as was I when I was her age before I grew old and fat and I was younger than she was and I have done what my mother has done and turned them down because my mother didn’t want me growing up thinking that my looks were more important than anything else, more important than being a well rounded person with intelligence, morals, ethics, integrity and a depth of character deeper than a puddle and I am doing all that I can to teach the same things to my daughter.” You explained calmly and simply as Rox seemed to be a bit embarrassed as he realized what kind of impression he just gave you and Audrey and wanted a redo. He had blown his chance and missed his shot by a lot.  

“Now, because I know you and I know you probably didn’t mean any of that and the fact that you’re not arguing with me or trying to justify yourself which tells me you see my point and accept it and because I genuinely like you, I’ll give you a do over how’s that?” You offered and smiled wider when he seemed to finally exhale in relief.

“Yes please, thank you. I didn’t even...realize..” Rox tried to tell you before you saw the kids coming back and you reached over and simply squeezed his arm.

“Don’t worry about it. You just probably fell back on the habits you acquired when you were courting your first wife right?” You guessed as Rox blinked in surprise as he didn’t even realize that about himself as you saw the lightbulb go off in his head.

“Yeah, I’m not like her- in hopefully any way and I didn’t want you thinking about tonight and rehashing and come to that realization on your own and then suddenly suspect me of being anything like your ex either.” you offered with a meaningful look.

“Thank you.” Rox smiled appreciatively at you as he gently squeezed his hand over yours before stealing a very quick kiss from the back of your hand right before the kids came back and sat down just as all the desserts came. And that kiss, although small, was huge. Because HOLY SHIT ROX WAS TRYING TO COURT YOU OMG. And you were beyond happy and excited about that. You wanted him to. But you wanted him to understand that things were complicated because of kids, especially impressionable ones and you had to walk a fine line.  

After dessert you and Audrey opened your gifts, Audrey being totally thrilled and tickled that she got a really nice cat ear headband along with a unicorn one too and you were actually impressed at the gorgeous jewelry set he got you and you were also impressed because he obviously was listening when you talked about chocolate because you recognized all of your favorites in the boxes, one for you and one for Audrey even though you couldn’t really eat them because you both had stuffed yourselves with dinner and dessert but you thanked Rox and Atris for them all the same before you went your separate ways but not before you made plans to hang out the next day at a jump park.  

“So...how did that go?” Atris asked his father as they rode home even though he didn’t see you hug or kiss his dad and thought that his father perhaps struck out since to him, you were standoffish. Polite but standoffish.

“It went exceedingly well.” Rox smiled happily as he drove them back to his place.  

“How...could you tell? She didn’t even hug you or kiss you or anything.” Atris pointed out.

“And she was right in not doing so.” Rox nodded in agreement as his smile just got brighter.

“What?” Atris blinked in surprise.

“Ok, let me explain something, just because you give a girl or woman or what-have-you, a gift, she doesn’t owe you a damn thing in return, least of all affection or attention, all she owes you a simple word of thanks.” Rox grinned happily. “Remember in Daredevil when Nelson Fisk was asking Vanessa out on a date and when she told him that she couldn’t go that evening, he simply and very respectfully withdrew and simply said ‘another time then’ and she was surprised that he didn’t “try harder” by trying to buy out the gallery so she could get off early?” Rox tried to get his son to recall.

“Yeah.” Atris frowned in confusion.

“Do you remember what he said to that?” Rox instigated.

“No.” Atris frowned deeper.

“He said ‘A woman who can be bought, isn’t worth having.’ So he was being very respectful in declining even trying to see if she had a price such as buying out a whole gallery because he wanted to make sure she knew that she was priceless and worth while because he was going to put forth effort in courting her rather than figure out how much stuff it would take for her to like him because no one should be liked because of what they can give the other and affection should never be measured in stuff either.” Rox explained. “And what you saw tonight was a prime example and perfect example of how a really classy woman handled that and should handle that. Because I went overboard and it gave the impression that that’s what I was trying to do and she saw through it and saw through me, just like she has since day one and while she was polite and gracious, she made it clear that she wasn’t that kind of woman that could be bought or charmed for the price of flowers, chocolate and jewelry and she’s doing everything she can to teach her own daughter to not be that kind of woman either and everyone should respect that. You’d think I of all people would appreciate that the most and I do.” Rox just shook his head and grinned wider and prouder.

“But you didn’t mean that did you?” Atris asked.

“Nope, I sure didn’t mean any of that but and that’s what she saw, she simply saw that I was trying, that I went about it wrong but that I was trying and the second chance she’s giving me to get it right is tomorrow when we get together then. And it’s really important for you to understand that she’s not after me because of what I do for a living or how much money I make or anything like that, she doesn’t need anyone or anything because she’s a self made woman and those are the best kind there are.” Rox praised.

“Yeah, no, I got that, she was polite and nice about it but she didn’t go for it. I respect that. Same thing with Audrey, she seemed grateful but she’s weary of you because she sees what’s going on too because the reason we took a little while is because she pulled me aside and asked me if you were trying to date her mom.” Atris informed his dad.

“And what did you say?” Rox asked his son.

“I told her the truth. That you were.” Atris answered. “Then she asked me what your deal was. Which I gotta respect her for being straightforward and not pulling any punches.” Atris grinned.

“And again, what did you tell her?” Rox asked worriedly.

“That you were divorced but that this was the first “not a date” that you’ve been on since the divorce because you’re picky as hell about who you let be around me. Which I wish mom was that way and she seemed appeased by that answer.” Atris retold. “Was I wrong?” Atris asked.

“Nope you got it,” Rox shook his head and blew out the breath he had been subconsciously holding.

Meanwhile in your car.

“So, what did you think of Rox and Atris?” You asked nervously yourself as you did your best not to hold your own breath.

“I like Atris, I don’t like Rox.” Audrey sustained.

“Why?” You asked in surprise.

“Because he was trying to buy your love by buying you stuff and you have taught me to stay away from guys like that.” Audrey insisted as she gave you a meaningful look as you bit your lips.

“I have taught you that. But I hope I also taught you to be understanding of other people and other cultures. Remember how some things mean something different to different people? Like how the orcs you go to school with give each other beads and how that means something to them and how each bead means something?” You recalled.

“Yeah.” Audrey nodded.

“Well, honey, I’m not an orc, the way orcs court each other is different than how humans do or elves do or even dwarfs and Rox and I are both mixed so we both have blendings of different cultures. He was trying to be orcish with his approach because that’s mostly what he is and the one person who he dated who he ended up marrying, that’s what she liked, she liked it when he bought her things. So that’s all he’s known.” You tried to explain as Audrey seemed to consider that.

“What do you know about the woman he was married to?” Audrey asked warily.

“She is a very selfish, self centered woman, she’s what I would call, a gold digger because she was only with him because he had a good job and could take care her and treat her like a princess and Rox did that and he did it very well but it was never enough for her. But she didn’t take care of him in return. What she did was simply give him a son and thought that’s all she had to do to be set up for life, she didn’t know how to clean her own house and instead of learning, she hired someone else to do it. She got a nanny so she didn’t have to stay home and take care of Atris so she could go shopping all the time without a stroller and she spent much more than Rox could make and got him into debt over his head without telling him. She went to a plastic surgeon and made herself as pretty as she could be on the outside and then she did the worst thing a marriage mate could do to another, she cheated on him and didn’t cheat on him with just anyone, she cheated on him with his boss, and left him for someone who made a lot more money than he did because to her, that’s all that matters. She hurt him and betrayed him and was unfaithful to him and when they got divorced, she got custody of their son, solely for child support payments which she doesn’t even spend on Atris, Rox buys all of his son’s clothes and pays for him to go to a private school and pays for his tuition and school supplies. When he gets home from school through the week, he has a nanny to take care of him and he sees more of her than he does his own mom and his mom doesn’t even know how to cook and never wanted to learn. All the “cooking” she does is cookies because she can spoon some dough from a tub onto a cookie sheet and make it look like she can cook. Otherwise she has a personal chef to cook for her. And while that sounds like a nice life, it isn’t. Do you want to know why?” You asked her.

“Why?” Audrey asked.

“Because the guy she’s with, while he may take care of all her bills financially, he demands that she look perfect and act perfect all the time. She’s not allowed to have a bad day, even a bad hair day. He expects her to always agree with him whenever they talk about anything and even when he’s mean and he’s in a bad mood, it’s her job to cater to his every whim and make him feel better, whatever it takes to do that and when he tells her to jump she’s expected to ask ‘how high?’and then jump twice as high as he tells her to jump, metaphorically speaking. She’s not allowed to tell him no, ever. So when he wants sex, even if she’s not in the mood, even if she’s mad at him, even if she’s sick or not feeling well, she has to have sex with him anyway and she’s not allowed to fight back or stand up for herself in any way. She’s not her own person, he owns her and all she is- is property to him and he treats her as his slave and she isn’t allowed to have self respect or dignity unless he’s the one to give it to her and tell her it’s ok for her to have it in very small increments and for very brief amounts of time and he literally embarrasses her every chance he gets, he makes fun of her all the time and she’s the butt of every joke she tells and she’s not allowed to get mad about it, she’s expected to laugh along with him and go ‘you’re right sweetie, of course I’m a stupid whore who only knows how to spend money and can’t even do simple math’,” You twisted your voice to sound like a valley girl which made Audrey frown.

“And how I know this is because I’ve seen her at that office when I first started there, she and her current guy were picking up something and the way he treated her filled me with rage. And I can tell you right now that Rox never treated her that way, Rox has never even treated me that way. He actually respects me as a person and a human being and on days when I’m having a bad day, he’s the one to ask what he can do to make it better. These chocolates that he got me? Are all my favorite kinds, which means when we’ve talked about chocolate, he listened, and paid attention and paid enough attention to remember to get them for me. And these flowers? Again, my favorites. He didn’t have to do anything tonight, he didn’t have to buy dinner and he didn’t have to order half the menu. He only did it to try to help because of what today was. He was the only one who noticed I was having a rough day today because it’s my anniversary and Daddy isn’t here to celebrate it with me and he was the only one who cared enough to notice I wasn’t normal and ask about it and then asked if there was anything he could do to help and coming to dinner tonight was the first thing he thought of so that you and I wouldn’t have to be alone. He cares because he’s my friend. He has been since the beginning. And I know he went overboard and went about everything all wrong because he likes me and he’s allowed to like me and he wants to date me and I want to date him but I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want him to think that I’m anything like his ex wife and please understand that I didn’t ask him to do anything, I didn’t ask for anything from him- he just gave because he’s generous and because he could. So when you went to the bathroom I explained to him that I am not like his ex wife and that I didn’t need all of that. But I understood that he was just trying. And just the fact that he tried his best was enough just like I keep telling you that at school, as long as you tried your best and gave your best effort, that’s all I’ll ever ask of you. I never ask that you get straight A’s. I do my best to never ask more from you than what you’re capable of giving but that you continue to grow and learn. So think of this as a learning exercise for all of us. I’m glad that you like Atris though. He seems like a good kid, even though he has a challenging home life and I know Rox does all he can with him to be a good father just like I do all I can and do my best to be the best mom to you that I can be. So how about you cut him some slack and let him try again and don’t write him off just yet. Give him another chance. I know that if our positions were reversed, he’d do the same for me. Everyone usually gets the first time they try something new- wrong. And if he’s going to do his best to try again, then we are going to be gracious and accept that.” You insisted.  

“Is that what you did for Daddy?” Audrey asked softly as she finally dug into her chocolates.

“So many times I lost count. I gave Daddy all the tries he wanted or needed until he got it right and helped him get it right too.” You nodded.

“Ok, fine.” Audrey caved as you grinned victoriously.

“Plus, I mean maybe my eyes were deceiving me, but did you and Atris actually...you know...get along?” You gently teased.

“Maybe we did, maybe we just were trying not to be as awkward as you and Rox were.” Audrey sassed back.

“Oooh, really?” You laughed heartily.

“It was almost as awkward as a school dance.” Audrey giggled.

“Wow!” You cackled. “Yeah, well would you rather I fall all over him? Hugging him and kissing him and making googly eyes at him? I could totally blow obnoxious kisses at him too.” You teased back as Audrey made a sound that was half way between gagging and like she was a cat that was dying.

“Nooo!” She howled as you both dissolved into giggles. “Come on Mom!” Audrey pleaded. “You’re not gonna do that tomorrow are you?” Audrey asked with a wincing grimace.

“I don’t know, depends on Rox doesn’t it?” You put to her. “Just do me a favor and keep trying to get along with Atris and if it doesn’t work out between Rox and me, hopefully you’ll gain a friend in Atris either way.” You shrugged.

“That would be nice.” Audrey nodded in agreement.

“And if you could give Rox the benefit of the doubt and try to get along with him too, I would greatly appreciate it.” You requested.

“We’ll see.” Audrey huffed.

“And I feel I need to make something clear- you will not use Rox or gods forbid Atris- to get what you want, don’t see Rox trying to date me as your chance to ask for anything and everything you could ever want, like he’s a genie and will grant you any wish you make, like toys or whatever. You will not sell your pleasantness and niceness to him for stuff. Ok? Because girls who do that, especially at your age, end up like his ex wife and I will be damned if that ever happens to either you or me. You’re better than that and you’re not a spoiled brat. If anything I hope you’ve learned that you need to work for what you want and get it for yourself and earn the things you want.” You insisted sternly.

“Ok,” Audrey agreed.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Exit Rant: Mr. Sunshine

[This is intended to be a spoiler free review of Mr. Sunshine but it may include a few minor spoilers throughout. It’s also long as all hell. Enjoy.]

Wow, here I am with my Mr. Sunshine review and it's only...*looks at wrist despite not wearing a watch* nearly three months after the final episode aired. Totally in keeping with this blog's commitment to publishing consistent and relevant content *manic laughter*.

The truth is, even if it hadn't been bad timing schedule-wise, Mr. Sunshine was going to be a difficult drama for me to review. This drama has so much to recommend it in terms of beautiful production, epic scope, unique period setting and blockbuster cast. There is something conceptually mesmerizing about Mr. Sunshine that engaged my basest fangirl and aesthetic sensibilities, but the actual experience of watching the episodes does not live up all the premise promises. What Mr. Sunshine delivers as a drama is, paradoxically, less than the sum of it's parts.

Let's focus on the positive first.

The cast in this drama is god-tier. You're rarely going to find an ensemble cast like this outside of Chungmuro. Your first, second and third leads all can and have headlined films and dramas of their own, and a lot of the stars here (like Kim Tae Ri of The Handmaiden fame) have critically acclaimed film pedigrees.

There's a lot to say about the actors and the performances, and there's no way I'm going to get to all of it. The extended cast is large and exceptionally great, and I'm not going to be able to remember and talk about everyone by name, so I'm going to have to limit myself to the main cast.

It's really the cast that moves heaven and earth to make this script work. To the degree that sometimes it felt that each actor lived in their character and lent flesh and texture where the writing let us down. Kim Tae Ri, played Ae Shin with so much fierceness and unshakable dignity that I couldn't stop cheering for her, even when the plot sidelined her character for what felt like episodes at a time.

For many people, the rousing showstopper performance of the drama was Yoo Yeon Seok as Gu Dong Mae. Early in the life cycle of the drama I recall hearing that Kim Eun Sook got herself embroiled in some controversy because people felt that the Japanese-sympathizer Dong Mae was far too likable considering his political ideology. Some hasty shuffling was done and rather than being characterized as a bald-faced fascist, Dong Mae became more of a freewheeling mercenary gangster-type. This was a positive change in my opinion. I don't want to retread what has already been said (a lot of it by me) about Dong Mae, but YYS has never been and may never be as interesting or as sexy as he was in Mr. Sunshine, in my opinion. He plays the morally grey character with edge and blazing charisma and, if nothing else does, makes the drama worth checking out.

Information broker and enigmatic owner of the Glory Hotel, Kudo Hina, as portrayed by Kim Min Jung and (my personal favorite) and the soulful Hui Seong, born into a blood-soaked privilege he can't escape, played by Byun Yo Han, wonderfully round out the cast and are, if anything, tragic underutilized by the plot. The only person here who perhaps underwhelms is Lee Byung Hun as the titular main character. I don't have strong feelings about him as an actor or as a person one way or the other. I've enjoyed some movies he's been a part of. I do feel that visually he looks too old for baby-faced Kim Tae Ri, but I'm almost used to that kind of thing in Dramaland. His performance is perhaps meant to be restrained--nigh on repressed--but it comes off as a bit bland and wooden. Which isn’t to say he’s bad, and I feel Eugene had a lot of potential to be a very interesting character just...decidedly less interesting than everyone else.

A lot of praise has been heaped on the way this drama looks, and I will agree, it’s a very pretty show. Personally, I disliked how heavily color graded certain scenes, especially outdoor scenes were. I found it a bit distracting and it took away from how otherwise gorgeous some of the scenery in this is when the sky is tan or everything in a scene is tinted blue for some reason. But the production deserves a lot of credit for creating a full and lived in feeling world, for the beauty of the sets and the costumes, the sheer attention to detail, and the way they used all four seasons to set the tone and give you a sense of the passage of time.

And let me just state that during Mr. Sunshine’s run I was decidedly obsessed with it. I posted about it, I talked about it to my friends, I talked several of those friends into watching it with me...and a few of those people still speak to me to this day. When I start criticizing it here in a few seconds, know that doesn’t mean I didn’t get a lot of hours of enjoyment out of this drama or that I think I’m too good for this show. I’ve seen 4 of Kim Eun Sook’s dramas so far and this is easily the best one. It’s not just better than Goblin, DOTS and Heirs, it’s miles better. Is that everything? I think that about covers it.

Now for the bad stuff...

I’ve said this in the past in relation to Goblin, but it bears repeating: Kim Eun Sook is good--possibly even great--at creating singular, iconic story moments and absolute rubbish at developing a cohesive plot that builds tension over multiple episodes and pays off in a logical way. At the time I said it I was basing it off of relatively little experience with her writing, but I’ve seen the pattern repeat itself two more times since then and I’m increasingly convinced that I’m a genius.

I do believe there are extenuating factors that account for the poor pacing of her dramas. The number of episodes and the episode length might not be within Kim Eun Sook’s control and she’s not responsible for poor editing either. Both Goblin and Mr. Sunshine suffer a lot because of bloated run time, and maybe that’s the network’s fault but it leaves plot feeling thin in places, even like it’s futilely spinning it’s wheels waiting for the next important event to come along.

With Mr. Sunshine the issue wasn’t even that there wasn’t enough interesting plot or character backstories to fill 24, hour plus episodes, possibly even more, it was that at times it felt like the drama flatly refused to delve into the interesting details, preferring to leave us miserably treading water in the doldrums of the story. It felt like we had to beg and wait for even morsels of backstory about certain characters--the drama was especially mum regarding Kuda Hina’s history--while the two leads endlessly mooned over one another. How many scenes did we need to watch Eugene and Ae Shin soulfully stare at one another?

Mr. Sunshine never successfully builds momentum until the last 2 or 3 episodes of the run. And while there is a lot of lip service paid to guns and glory and sad endings, but much of the drama feels like it's milling around with hands in pockets waiting for the tragic curtain call. Even the badass sniper heroine is frequently sidelined. It feels like the story remains stubbornly in the set up phase, one step forward and two steps back. It's as though Kim Eun Sook has all of these wonderful toys--great characters, huge budget, interesting time period/setting--and she simply doesn't know what to do with them.

Consistently my frustration with Mr. Sunshine was its inability to effectively incorporate the extended cast into the plot. It feels like all characters exist in separate bubbles waiting for their turn to have a scene. Those scenes are interesting but maddeningly brief, and then they are shuffled backstage once again until it's once again time for their requisite 5-10 minutes of screen time per episode. 

This problem is especially present in the main cast with Dong Mae, Hina and Hui Seong. And that is what is so deeply exasperating about this drama, because there is just enough good peppered in to keep me invested, so many great elements poorly employed. It makes one want to take KES's script away from her and take it home and fix it yourself, because you just know she's not treating it right.

When calamity comes, and it does, it feels disproportionate and somewhat unsatisfying, because the build up didn’t do it justice. The drama ends with a rousing crescendo, but it feels that the individual character arcs were never allowed to reach their full potential. I’m not one to shy away from tragedy, but it left me feeling rather empty.

I wish I could a finer point on it than that, but it’s a murky issue to me. I know I’m not connecting with the story as much as I want to, but it’s hard to put my finger on the exact reason and that just adds to my frustration with it.

I stand by my assertion that this is still the best KES drama I have watched. Thought admittedly I’ve still only seen 4 of them, this one shows the most promise and, I think, the most growth. But it’s not there yet. I don’t know if I could ever watch it again, but I’m glad I watched it once. If for nothing else for the fantastic performances of several old and new favorites. I give Mr. Sunshine an 8.5/10, which is probably too high considering everything I’ve said about it up to this point. However, it’s just too strong in terms of overall production and cast for me to feel good about rating it any lower.

[pokemonruby]

10-16!

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

i don’t think i have an oc with a complicated design? primarily because i’m not much of an artist so i’d rather not give myself the burden of illustrating a relatively difficult design. 

i can’t draw oswald’s hat to save my life, though. or his hairstyle.

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

DEEP BREATH

TOMI IS THE VERY EMBODIMENT OF SUNSHINE--

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

elias you should know that i have an intense crush on your ocs, roxxy and daichi. it’s not even funny i would literally give my life for both of them. 

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

there’s a famous phrase that goes a little something like - “rules are meant to be broken”, which is xavier’s entire ideology. xavier is the very definition of a troublemaker and goes out of their way to ostentatiously reject authority because they simply don’t agree with the laws implemented by selfish people in power.... aka their entire personality is a middle finger @ society. 

i love my problematic child. 

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

i mean, i don’t think i’ve ever conceived an oc without a tragic backstory of some kind - particularly because i oftentimes imbue them with my own struggles. for example, emmett and i have almost identical pasts - what with an abusive parental figure in our childhoods & our lack of, well... friends outside of one person who’s stuck with us throughout all these years. of course, he isn’t a straight-up self-insert as i’ve taken creative liberaties with his backstory and overall character in general. 

i’d say xavier has the most tragic backstory out of all my ocs, though... i’m afraid it’s a tad too dark for me to casually discuss right now, but i am planning to write a one-shot detailing their struggles at some point. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

ABSOLUTELY. you don’t understand how enthusiastic i get when people ask about my ocs. i’m like a parent mollycoddling their children. 

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

elena 100%. she’s the designated science nerd amongst my ocs. in fact, her occupation is something akin to a scientist/researcher... although she investigates a number of different topics outside of the scientific field, such as medicine and anthropology.

[flower-of-the-desert]

I don’t know the context of that gif with Izzy and Maia yet, but I’m really annoyed with the mere idea of Izzy confronting or even telling Maia about not being there for Simon. Izzy was out of line once before with how she preached to Maia about needing to give Simon a chance when she barely knew her. It would be really gross and uncalled for for them to have Izzy all in Maia’s business once again when the only Shadowhunter Maia interacts with is (rightfully) Jace. She needs to mind hers.

My thoughts exactly.

To be fair, like you said and other people have pointed out, we dont actually have all the context of the scene to know what exactly is going on so it wouldnt be entirely accurate to jump to conclusions based only on that gif and I am trying to keep that in mind.

But.

It’s exceptionally hard to do so when we know how the writers like to do things. They wrote Maia out of the finale (and let’s not get into the fact that they made her leave when the entire season she was strongly against letting others - namely Jordan - leave and avoid facing hard truths) for the specific purpose of having Izzy be the one to comfort Simon so they can ~bond~. I knew they would use that to set up S*zzy but I didnt think they would go as far as have Izzy guilt-trip Maia for leaving, if that is what’s going on.

The other thing that makes it really hard for me to think Izzy is doing anything other than acting superior and condescending towards Maia in that gif is, again like you said, Izzy already has a history of doing just that to DWs in general and Maia specifically.

We had that terrible scene where Izzy tries to tell Maia how she knows all about losing control “better than anyone” because she got addicted to vampire venom like 2 days ago. And even leaving aside that nonsense, she still tried to “teach” Maia about how she should take a risk for love and not give up and blah blah. Without knowing shit about Maia’s history or why she was hesitant to give Simon a chance. And you know what, even if Maia didnt have a Tragic Backstory to explain why she’s not super into the idea of dating, she’s not obliged to go out with anyone if she doesnt want to. Izzy had absolutely no rght to butt in there even if she was just trying to help out Simon because in the process she acted terrible towards Maia. Then again, it’s not the only time she’s been terrible towards someone else for the sake of someone she cared about without even acknowledging she’s being terrible.

And like I’ve seen some people say that this couldnt be what’s happening because it’s out of character for Izzy and I’m sorry what? That’s nonsense. It’s perfectly in character for Ms Isabelle I Can Banish You from This City Bcause I Feel Llike It Lightwood.

That’s why if in that scene we really get Izzy berating Maia for not being there, I will not be surprised. Dsappointed and angry but not surprised.

[rebrandingplsstandby]

VOLTRON ASK GAME

I was tagged by @silverineontherun (thank you so much) and immediately knew I had to do this!

How did you discover the show?

Back during the summer it first came out, I remember seeing it come up on Netflix a few times and I remember feeling like I should watch it, but hesitating because it seemed like any y-7 Western version of a mecha-anime...which at that point I wasn’t sure I’d be into. But I love animation, and I may have seen a thing or two about it on here, so eventually I was like ‘eh, why not? I’ll put it on while I work on my own animation project.’ And so I did :)

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the show?

Yes and no! I was immediately drawn in by the characters and the animation but the plot did take some time to grow on me. I knew I’d stick with it from the first season, but it wasn’t until the third season that I was stuck. I think it was at that point that it became clear to me that this show had a carefully laid plan for each of its characters and the story as a whole, and everything was really starting to take off. 

Do you have a favorite episode?

This is a difficult one...because with me there’s never just one episode! Taking Flight will probably always be my fave from s1, and the eps introducing the BOM and Keith’s backstory are my faves from s2, but after that it gets harder because I love pretty much all of s3, s4, s5 and s6 equally (and A LOT).

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

Weeeellll Keith has been my icon for a while. But if there’s anything I love about Voltron, it’s that it’s so easy to love and care about ALL of the characters for different reasons! So if I HAVE to pick one, then Keith for the first half of the show. But you know what? I have a feeling that from now on it’ll be Lance because I feel his story starting to take off and I’m actually so ready. But, as I said, these two are just barely my faves--I truly love them all. 

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fave Paladin, why?)

I never really thought about it before but I have to say Blue. She’s been there from the very beginning, and I love that she’s like the ‘mother’ lion. I trusted her with our boy Lance and now I trust her with our girl Allura <3

Do you have a favorite villain?

Lotor lol. Zarkon was boring AF (except in the flashbacks from before he turned) but as soon as Lotor came in I was so ready for whatever he was going to bring to the show. Admittedly, I did have a tiny bit of hope that he wouldn’t be as bad as he turned out to be, but as a villain his story is equal parts chilling and tragic and that works for me. I’m hoping Haggar/Honerva steps it up though, maybe it’ll be her soon.

Do you have a favorite Alien Race (Recurring and/or minor)

Hmmm...not really? I find them all pretty cool but I’ve never considered what my favorite would be. Maybe the Balmerans though, since they’ve been around from the start.

Favorite side/other character(s) - Rebels, Generals, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

Krolia. I mean we’ve only had two episodes somewhat devoted to her so far, but  I already know I’d die for her. And I love that she’s on the team! I’m actually excited to see how both she and Romelle will work with the others. It’s always wonderful to see more female characters join the crew! Aside from that? Matt, of course! He’s so fun. 

How/Why did you join the fandom?

I blogged a little about Voltron before s3, but I didn’t actively engage in the fandom until s3 and beyond. By that point I couldn’t help it! I was too invested to contain myself. And I also think that it had to do with the fact that I had fully accepted Keith and Lance as probably LGBT rep and I needed to see what other people were saying about that possibility. And actually I got more into the fan theories in general by that point. So, yeah! No matter how messy the fandom might seem, I figured I’d be able to find what I would enjoy and ignore what I wouldn’t. 

Care to share your favorite headcanon?

Hoo boy. I don’t make a lot of headcanons because I’m very invested in canon, but I do like headcanons that I think work exceptionally well with canon. That being said I don’t really curate them so nothing specific is really coming to mind? Maybe the one that Hunk cleaned Keith’s paladin armor while he was away because that’s so cute and I can see Hunk doing that. Oh, and just for laughs, I love that we call Keith’s dad Texas to the point where I kind of hope we never find out his real name.

What do you think is the best part of the show?

The characters and the animation! The fact that both are as well done as they are is what makes Voltron such a fixation for me. I truly feel for and care about every single character, and I love that none of them are perfect and that you can track their growth! That and the fact that the show lends itself so well to theorizing!

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes/seasons?

LGBT rep is a big one, but--as I referenced earlier--I think that’s in the process of happening, and you also know which character(s) I think that’ll be! Other than that, I want to see more dual-wielding Keith, Lance with his sword, I want to see Lance and Hunk’s families on earth, and I want Allura and Romelle to bond! I also just want Romelle to become part of the team in general because I think that’ll be an interesting dynamic. 

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

No question! I, for one, am more excited than ever about where the show is going, and it would take a lot for me to drop it. I’m not worried about being disappointed though--I’m not saying it could never happen, but that’s not something I think about. As much as I love theorizing and reading other people’s theories, I’ve gotten to a place where I’m very content to wait and see what they throw at us. 

All righty, now to tag someone! I haven’t really gotten to know many of you on here, and I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to participate if they don’t want to, but I’ll tag @lanceprance cause you’ve been around for a while! But literally anyone who sees this pls feel free to do it I’d love to see what you all have to say!

[xtruss]

East Asia

The South China Sea: What’s Really at Issue

— Modern Diplomacy | September 13, 2020 | By Eric Zuesse

The South China Sea is basically China’s export waterway to Africa and to Europe (among other markets), but in order for China’s enemy (aspiring conqueror), America, to harm and weaken China maximally, and to use the United Nations assisting in that aggression, America and its allies have cast this vital trade-waterway as being instead basically just an area to be exploited for oil and gas, and minerals, and fishing. The American Government’s aggression — its effort to strangulate China’s international commerce — thus becomes ignored by the U.N., which is consequently handling the entire issue under its law which pertains to a nation’s (China’s) rights to exploit the natural resources of and under a given waterway.

The international legal issue, which is being applied, is therefore the 1982 U.N. Convention on Law of the Sea (UNCLOS). This treaty (law) has been ratified, or at least signed, by all countries except the United States, whose hold-out for 12 years had blocked the Convention even from coming into effect. Then, finally (when Guyana, on 16 November 1993, did, after so much delay, become the requisite 60th country to ratify the Convention, so as to bring it into actual effect), the U.S., on 29 July 1994, went through the mere formality of signing the Agreement, because Part XI of the Convention (“to authorize seabed exploration and mining and collect and distribute the seabed mining royalty”) had, by this time, become modified, to the satisfaction of Exxon and other U.S. oil-and-gas corporations, so that U.S. President Bill Clinton had UNCLOS signed by the U.S. — but not sufficiently satisfied to have it ratified by the U.S., which nation therefore still remains the lone holdout amongst the 179 U.N. member nations that had been invited to join it. (Some countries are entirely landlocked.) So, ironically, the lone holdout-nation, U.S., is now militarily threatening China (one of the Convention’s actual member-nations), for its allegedly violating that Convention, in regard to what is, in fact, China’s essential exportation (and importation) waterway, even more important to China than its being a potential Chinese natural-resource asset.

Furthermore, China has long wanted to reduce much of its need to ship through the South China Sea, by means of building what for China would be equivalent to what the Panama Canal is for the U.S., but this new canal would be located in Thailand, which America conquered in its 1948 coup — the CIA’s first. If built, this Thai Canal would significantly reduce China’s costs of importing oil from Iran and Arabia, as well as its costs of exporting goods to India, and to Europe and Africa. Therefore, the U.S. regime is willing to pay whatever the cost might be in order to bribe Thai leaders to continue saying no to that canal-proposal. (But, will China ultimately outbid America? There is a tug-of-war in Thailand about whether to participate in China’s proposal.)

The U.S. thus blocks China, both via the UNCLOS, and via China’s main potential method of avoiding its need to rely so heavily upon its usage of the South China Sea — the Thai Canal.

This is consequently a good example of how the imperialistic U.S. Government, which is uniquely hostile toward the United Nations, nonetheless exploits the U.N., and yet still receives deferential treatment from it — so that the U.S. can actually use the U.N. as a tool to advance its own imperialistic objectives of conquering yet more territory, additional vassal-nations or ‘allies’.

The U.N. is, furthermore, exceptionally proud of its achievement in having finally passed UNCLOS into international law. As it says, “‘Possibly the most significant legal instrument of this century’ is how the United Nations Secretary-General described the treaty after its signing.”

None of this can be understood outside the context of international law itself, which is tragically corrupt, as a result of the following history, the backstory here:

Though the U.N. was invented and even named by America’s President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR), he died just before it started, and his successor Harry S. Truman shaped it by modifying FDR’s plan, so that the U.N. would gradually fail, and, instead, the U.S. Government would itself emerge effectively as being the global government over all other governments — America’s Government would become a global dictatorship over nations, instead of the U.N. coming into existence as the global democratic republic of nations (FDR’s U.N.) that FDR had aimed for it to be, controlling international relations after World War II, in such a manner as to prevent a WW III.

We thus live in Truman’s post-WW-II world, definitely not in FDR’s.

After World War II (in which the U.S. and UK were allied with the U.S.S.R. against the fascist powers that had invaded countries which had not even been threatening them), America soon launched a string of coups and invasions — overthrowing and replacing governments that hadn’t even posed any threat, at all, to America’s national security — and the world thereby became increasingly accustomed to the fact that America’s military and CIA are, in fact, the world’s new invading military force, replacing Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, and the Emperor’s Japan, in that capacity, as international dictators. (That’s something which FDR had been planning to prevent any nation from being.) The first four U.S. coups were against Thailand in 1948, Syria in 1949, Iran in 1953, and Guatemala in 1954; and each American coup replaced a moderate leader with a brutal fascist regime, crushing democracy there. (The U.S. takeover in Syria lasted only a few years.) America also engaged in numerous outright military invasions, many of them using hired proxy forces (U.S.-funded mercenaries), instead of using U.S. soldiers, as being the U.S. regime’s “boots on the ground,” to do the actual killing and dying. America thereby became the invading country throughout the world, which is what the fascist powers had been in World War II.

The post-WW-II America thus emerged as standing above international law, ever since the 1945 end of WW II. In effect, America’s Government has internationally become the world’s government — by force of arms. Other countries are subject to international law, but the U.S. is not. The U.S. has emerged as the international empire, taking over, and dominating, in more and more countries, until it now openly demands compliance from all countries, and even threatens Iraq’s Government, that if Iraq tries to expel the U.S. occupying forces, the U.S. will permanently destroy Iraq.

America’s imperialist fascism has become so bold, for so long, so that news-media don’t even report it. If one lays a WW II ideological template over the world’s nations today, then today’s U.S. and its allies are much more fitting the mold and form of the Axis powers, than of the Allied powers; but, this time, instead of there being Germany and its allies as the imperialistic fascists, we today have America and its allies, as constituting the imperialistic fascist nations. America assumed this role gradually, first as that role was ‘justified’ supposedly as being an ideological contest between democracy versus communism (which, on the U.S. side, was merely an excuse, not an authentic explanation); but, then, increasingly, without any such ideological excuse, as being, simply, America’s alleged ‘superiority’ (such as the recent U.S. President, Barack Obama, repeatedly asserted, that “The United States is and remains the one indispensable nation,” which means that every other nation is “dispensable”; only America is not). It is now as flagrant with America as it had been with Hitler’s Germany (“Deutschland über alles,” etc.). The gloves have finally been taken off, by today’s U.S. imperialist fascist regime. The U.S. even has the world’s highest percentage of its own population being in prisons, a higher imprisonment-rate than that of any other country. This is very appropriate for the world’s most totalitarian country. So, the dictatorship isn’t only international — it is even intranational, inside the U.S. And it very much is in control over the nation’s news media. It’s a two-Party dictatorship.

When U.S. President FDR died as WW II was ending, his dream for the future was that America and its allies in WW II would create a democratic super-nation controlled by all nations, a United Nations that would have the military force throughout the world to enforce international laws, which would be made democratically by the U.N., through its Security Council and General Assembly. But, nowadays, instead, the U.S. and its allies are free to invade anywhere they wish, and — unlike what happened to the fascist leaders during WW II — the U.S.-and-allied leaders get away with it, and they aren’t even charged by the International Court of Justice and the International Criminal Court. They stand above international law: precisely the sort of situation that FDR had aimed to prohibit.

For example, one of America’s allies — and thus immune to international law — is Israel; and, on September 3rd, the international news site South Front headlined “Israeli Forces Rain Down Missiles on Syria”, and reported that:

The Israeli Air Force conducted a second round of missiles strikes on Syria in less than a week.

Late on September 2, Israeli warplanes launched missiles at the T4 airport in the province of Homs. According to Syria’s state media, the strikes were conducted from the direction of the US-controlled zone of al-Tanf on the Syrian-Iraqi border. Syrian pro-government sources claimed that a large part of the missiles was intercepted. …

The most recent previous Israeli strike on Syria took place on August 31 targeting the countryside of Damascus city and the province of Daraa.

Syria does not invade Israel, but Israel routinely invades Syria, and long has done so — and yet Israel’s leader, Benjamin Netanyahu, is not being strung up and executed by an international criminal court, like the leaders of Germany and Japan were supposed to have been, after WW II. That Judgment at Nuremberg, and similar trials against some of Japan’s leaders, were actually only victors’ ‘justice’ against some of Germany’s and Japan’s leaders, but (at the time) the victorious Allies claimed it to be the start of international justice, and to be the enforcement of international law — even though the trials were held only against Germany’s and Japan’s leaders, but not also against Italy’s. (Italy had signed with the Allies the Armistice of Cassabile surrendering on 8 September 1943, and this was part of that deal — Italy’s Government wasn’t quite as horrific as the other two, which held out till the bitter end.) These trials were prosecuting against “aggressive war”: the charge was that the imperialistic fascists had invaded countries that hadn’t invaded them — exactly what the U.S. and its allies constantly and now routinely do, after WW II (overthrowing and replacing governments that had not even so much as threatened the U.S. and its allies).

The U.S. and its allies are today’s imperialistic fascists, and the U.N. can do nothing against them. The U.N. can do nothing against the leaders of America and its allies for doing what had been done by the leaders of Germany and Japan during WW II.

Hitler’s and Hirohito’s spirits thus now rule in the self-styled (but now only formally) ‘democratic’ countries, whose rulers reign with far nicer rhetoric — far more hypocrisy — than their 1930s fascist predecessors had done. And the U.N. is dead, because it became created by Harry S. Truman, instead of by FDR.

Consequently, let’s consider, in more depth here, the example of China:

China is a communist country, but its communism is drastically changed from the time when Mao Tse Tung founded it, and its Marxism is unrecognizable, no longer a “dictatorship by the proletariat,” but instead one-Party rule by a Party that anyone, of any economic class, is invited to join, and which is widely considered by the Chinese people to be a “democracy.” (A far larger percentage of Chinese consider their Government to be a “democracy” than the percentage of Americans who consider America’s Government to be a “democracy.” Chinese don’t consider the number of political parties to be any indication of whether the nation is a democracy as opposed to a dictatorship. They are correct in that. In fact: America’s own Founders had aimed to be creating a nation which would have no parties at all.)

FDR made a clear distinction between a national democracy and an international democracy. He believed that international relations should be an international democracy of independent nations that deal with each other on a cooperative instead of coercive basis, and that international laws should govern this, coming from and being enforced by the United Nations. By contrast, national democracy was to be a choice that only the people within a given nation should determine, and the U.N. should have no relevance to, or control over, that. “Human rights” are individuals’ rights, and are an internal matter within each nation, whereas the rights of nations are very different, and are the purview exclusively of the U.N., as FDR was planning it. This was how he planned for there to be a post-WW-II world which would have no World War III.

By contrast, today’s U.S. regime claims, for example, the authority to dictate what countries should control which international waterways. This is clearly infringing on the U.N.’s area of authority; and, so, Truman’s U.N. has no control over the matter, though it does have vague laws which pertain to it. Today’s U.N.’s laws ignore one cardinal position — a cardinal geostrategic principle, the Westphalian principle — that FDR and the Soviet Union’s dictator, Joseph Stalin, agreed upon and which Winston Churchill opposed: the view that each of the major world powers should be allowed to intervene in the internal affairs of a foreign nation only if that foreign nation is on its borders or at least nearby (which was undefined). This was the Westphalian system, but enhanced so as to be explicitly anti-imperialistic, because both FDR and Stalin believed that both World Wars had resulted from imperialism. Both leaders rejected imperialism but accepted that there exists a distinction between major and minor powers, such that the nearby surrounds of a major power need to be entirely nations that are allied with that major power, or, at least not hostile toward it — not allied with any major power that is hostile toward itself. In other words: both men rejected Churchill’s demand that empires be allowed, which could extend beyond a major world power’s own “neighborhood.” Churchill wanted to continue the British Empire. Truman accepted Churchill’s view, and rejected the view of both FDR and Stalin. Consequently, Truman and Churchill agreed together to move forward toward an all-encompassing U.S.-UK Empire. (Though, nominally, the Westphalian principle had already become a part of the U.N.’s subsequent Charter — because of FDR — as being Chapter 1, Article 2, Paragraph 7, it was ignored from the outset, and the U.N. organization itself became set up so as to hide the entire Charter from the public. The numerous deficiencies in the Charter — such as its failure to include any clause describing a process by which the Charter could be amended — thus have likewise been hidden from the public, and not debated, nor discussed; and, thereby, the U.S. and UK have been able to have their way: the system for future global dictatorship was thus born.)

Consequently, geostrategic issues were prohibited by the U.S. regime from being subjects of international law. Though international law allowed vague references to “aggressive war,” simply because FDR’s U.S. had already established the system to pursue and hang German and Japanese leaders for their having done that, the concept of “aggression” became smudged in international law, instead of defined; and, so, aggression is practically absent as a topic of international law as it currently exists. This is how the South China Sea issue came to be treated only as being an issue of natural-resource rights. The U.N.’s Charter is essentially irrelevant to what is the most important. (Even its Westphalian clause — which is only the original, weaker, empire-accepting, form of Westphalianism — is irrelevant, since it’s ignored.)

China’s ability to ship its products westward via the South China Sea is crucial to China’s economy. Consequently, the imperialist fascist regime and its allies are trying to reduce that ability. Because this is Truman’s, instead of FDR’s, post-WW-II world, the existing relevant international laws lack sufficient clarity, and the U.S. and its allies can, under existing law, gradually choke-off China’s exports.

Katherine Morton’s 20 July 2016 article, “China’s ambition in the South China Sea”, in the journal International Affairs, argues that China’s ambition in the South China Sea is primarily driven by China’s thousands-of-years-old commercial policy, of being a maritime nation, a nation whose economy is based upon international trade. This is not imperialistic, but it instead concerns international rights that every nation ought to have. (Until 1912, China was ruled by imperialistic Emperors, but afterwards it was no longer imperialistic and has instead been defending itself against imperialistic powers.) Morton argues that China’s objective is not any grand design to achieve maritime hegemony — such as the U.S. regime has, and such as England, Holland, Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, Germany, and Japan, previously had done. It’s not imperial rule over countries that aren’t in their own neighborhood. It’s not conquest; it is instead self-defense. America and its allies do the coups, invasions, and international economic sanctions (economic blockades, even), but China does not. That, basically, is Morton’s argument (though she doesn’t put it in those clear terms). She says that China’s “attention is primarily focused upon demonstrating political resolve to defend China’s maritime periphery. Yet conclusive evidence that the Chinese leadership is intent upon dominating the South China Sea for the broader purpose of building a Sino‐centric maritime order in east Asia is difficult to find.” (The obtuseness — if not self-contradictoriness — of her writing might be due to her desire not to offend the U.S. regime’s own imperialistic sensibilities. Such a style is common amongst international-affairs scholars in the U.S.-and-allied world.)

However, the U.S. regime claims that China, instead of America, is the imperialistic power. The U.S. regime, as usual, claims to have the international right to enforce its will in international affairs anywhere on the planet. Sometimes, today’s U.N.-based international laws are in favor of outcomes that the U.S. regime wants. Thus, we have the matter of the South China Sea, where the U.N. body, UNCLOS, ruled on 12 July 2016 that the only relevant question is which nation is the nearest to a given part of a waterway (so as to have the right to explore and exploit there). The international laws by today’s U.N. ignore geostrategic issues, such as both FDR and Stalin wanted to include in them, but Churchill and Truman wanted international laws to ignore such matters so that UK and now U.S. could jointly pursue world-conquest. Since the UNCLOS ruling in 2016 opposed China’s claims, by ignoring its major-power concerns about its self-defense, the U.S., under the hyper-aggressive ruler, Donald Trump, recently came out publicly committed to enforcing that 2016 ruling by the U.N. body. On September 1st, Reuters headlined “Special Report: Pentagon’s latest salvo against China’s growing might — Cold War bombers”, and reported that:

On July 21, two U.S Air Force B-1B bombers took off from Guam and headed west over the Pacific Ocean to the hotly contested South China Sea. The sleek jets made a low-level pass over the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan and its escorting fleet, which was exercising nearby in the Philippines Sea, according to images released by the U.S. military. The operation was part of the Trump administration’s intensifying challenge to China’s ruling Communist Party and its sweeping territorial claims over one of the world’s most important strategic waterways. While senior Trump officials launch diplomatic and rhetorical broadsides at Beijing, the U.S. Defense Department is turning to the firepower of its heavily armed, long-range bombers as it seeks to counter Beijing’s bid to control the seas off the Chinese coast. …

The U.S. Army also intends to spread forces through the first island chain and other outposts in the Western Pacific. It is planning a series of major exercises this year and next where troops would deploy to islands in the region, according to senior commanders and top Pentagon officials.

The U.S. regime is using, as its excuse, its backing the territorial claims of what it claims to be its ‘allies’ against China — such as Vietnam. Meanwhile, the regime is applying diplomacy and other means, in order to encourage those ‘allies’ to insist upon, and not to compromise or weaken, those claims. Vietnam quickly responded to America’s active backing, by “Vietnam Threatens China with Litigation over the South China Sea”.

What’s at issue there is underwater oil-and-gas exploration-and-development rights of the various nations’ corporations. If China truly does not place its corporations’ commercial interests above the Chinese nation’s self-defense interests, then it will sacrifice the former for the latter, and it will cede those other nations’ rights to exploit that oil and gas, and will settle with its neighbors, for an agreement by all of America’s ‘allies’ to support and endorse China’s rights to traverse unimpeded through those waterways.

If the U.S. regime then would continue its heavy military fortifications surrounding China, then China would (in accord with its agreements that it will have reached with Vietnam and those other neighboring nations) be receiving, from those nations’ endorsements of China’s rights in that regard (for China’s self-defense), and from those nations’ public requests for U.S. forces to depart from their region, support for China’s shipping rights, which would be at least as valuable to China as whatever the natural resources there are worth.

In regards to the 12 July 2016 ruling by UNCLOS, it concerned specifically the case between China and the Philippines, and it presented the Philippines’ challenging China’s claims, which claims were/are based on arguments such as (regarding “Scarborough Shoal”) that “Since the Yuan Dynasty, the Chinese people have never stopped developing and exploiting Huangyan Island and its surrounding waters and the Chinese government has exercised effective management and jurisdiction over their activities all these years.” The ruling replied to that assertion by saying, “The Tribunal’s conclusions with respect to” that area are “independent of the question of sovereignty.” But, whatever the ruling was based upon, what’s relevant here is that the U.S. Government has no right to be sending its warships and other weapons into the South China Sea in order to ‘enforce’ UNCLOS’s ruling. And whatever China’s claims are or were in this matter, they cover(ed) a very large area, which encompasses almost all of the South China Sea — it encompasses the area that’s within the “nine-dash line”, which is shown here in green. Although UNCLOS (actually the U.N.-authorized body that administers it, the International Seabed Authority) is legitimately involved in this matter; the U.S. Government is the opposite: it is instead an international-law violator and has no right to be involved, at all, and is illegally throwing its weight around where it doesn’t belong and should be expelled — and would be expelled if this were FDR’s U.N., instead of Truman’s U.N.

Another way that Truman’s U.N. helps the U.S. regime geostrategically against China is the issue of Hong Kong — an internal Chinese matter, which wouldn’t even be a U.N. concern if the U.N. had been created instead by the U.N.’s inventor, FDR. (Even the original, weaker, form of the Westphalian principle — the version that’s in the U.N.’s Charter — would prohibit outside involvement in this matter.) As Reuters headlined on September 3rd, “U.N. experts decry Hong Kong security law in open letter to China”. Any U.N. that gets involved in any nation’s internal affairs, and in such things as ‘human rights’, should be simply dissolved, because it is advancing imperialism, instead of preventing it.

Basically, today’s U.N. is just a talking-forum, a PR vehicle for its member-nations; but, actually, at the deepest level, it’s a propaganda-agency for imperialism. That’s what it was designed for.

If China can win the support of its neighbors in the region to kick America out, then the sacrifice of such assets as oil and gas there would be a relatively inconsequential price for China to pay. Unfortunately, today’s U.N. must be eliminated and replaced by one that builds upon FDR’s intentions, because today’s U.N. — Truman’s U.N. — is exactly the opposite.

America’s having its weaponry and forces on and near China’s borders is even worse than when in 1962 the Soviet Union placed its forces in Cuba — and nearly precipitated WW III. America has no right to be there. And today’s U.N. has no justification to continue its existence — a replacement of it is direly needed.

Details of the existing U.N.’s deficiency in the present situation will here be summarily stated: UNCLOS asserts: “Every State has the right to establish the breadth of its territorial sea up to a limit not exceeding 12 nautical miles.” That’s the outermost limit of any coastal nation’s “sovereignty.” Furthermore: “Non-compliance by warships with the laws and regulations of the coastal State. If any warship does not comply with the laws and regulations of the coastal State concerning passage through the territorial sea and disregards any request for compliance therewith which is made to it, the coastal State may require it to leave the territorial sea immediately.” But Truman’s U.N. possesses no military force of its own and therefore that “coastal State” is provided no protection by today’s U.N. Furthermore: UNCLOS even allows an enemy nation’s naval vessels into that 12-mile limit, but “submarines and other underwater vehicles are required to navigate on the surface and to show their flag.” There is no limit upon how near the shore an enemy’s warships are allowed to come. Yet the U.S. violates UNCLOS routinely. What military force exists against its doing so? What legal tribunal exists that covers this? Furthermore: The agreement by FDR and Stalin, that any major world power needs to have some sort of right to veto or block any nearby nation from coordinating with any other major power that is hostile toward that given major world power, is entirely absent from the existing U.N. — existing international law. Consequently, for example: The U.S., under JFK in 1962, was acting in violation of the subsequent 1982 UNCLOS, when he ordered the Soviet military to depart from Cuba — that was beyond the 12-mile limit. Existing international law has to be replaced. It ignores essential geostrategic concerns to prohibit imperialism and to minimize any likelihood of a WW III. It needs to be replaced.

And that’s not the only reason why the current system of international laws needs to be replaced. The existing international dictatorship, which is the U.S. regime, is even more conservative than is Truman’s U.N. For example: As of October 2019, there are 37 “Treaties Pending in the Senate” (the U.S. Senate). These U.N.-backed treaties all are of a progressive nature, asserting the rights of workers and obligations of employers, etc.; and, in fact, the first three of these treaties deal specifically with workers’ rights. The earliest of them, activated in 1949, is the “International Labor Organization Convention No. 87 Concerning Freedom of Association and Protection of the Right to Organize, adopted by the International Labor Conference at its 31st Session held at San Francisco, June 17 – July 10, 1948 (Treaty Doc.: Ex. S, 81st Cong., 1st Sess.); submitted to Senate August 27, 1949.” President Truman could not get Republicans to back it, because they opposed workers’ rights. They still do, and the Treaty still isn’t joined by the U.S. regime. Indeed, as Roncevert Ganan Almond noted, in his 24 May 2017 article in support of “U.S. Ratification of the Law of the Sea Convention”, “Even treaties that flow from American leadership, in areas like protecting rights for persons with disabilities, are rejected.” They’re always being rejected by Senate Republicans. (Truman, of course, was a Democrat; and, on most issues, the leadership of that Party is less conservative than is the leadership of the Republican Party.) Thus, though Truman’s U.N. is conservative, it isn’t as conservative as is the U.S. regime itself, which is even more conservative than Truman himself was. Physically, Hitler and Hirohito lost WW II; but, spiritually, they turned out to have won it. The reason is that FDR tragically died too early.

[historic-homosexual]

Pls pls pls do all the oc questions!!

jokes on you I was already doing that and planned on just putting it out there but now I can use this as an excuse,,hah someone wants to know thisI’m sorry for how long some parts got, I noticed how much I wrote on Célestin and tried to keep it down from then but that didn’t completely work,,,And actually I dare/tag you to do these too. I know that ain’t normal proceedure w ask memes but I do a thing called what I want

1. Your first OC ever?

I think my first oc was your typical mary sue, named Angel, whom I used for basically every fandom I got in then. I’ve since reworked her because I couldn’t leave her the mess she was lmao

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Not really, tho I have to admit I have some that I’m especially fond of, but that’s still like half of my ocs

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Not a full character but a friend of mine made the design for Charlie years ago

4. A character you rarely talk about?Sadly that’d also be a couple of em, for example Eleonore or Otávio or my monster ocs

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

That’s a difficult one…Brist is pretty worked out and good so maybe him, or Eligos bc I’m proud of their design

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

I’d never noticed it before this but Seth and Elijah oh geez

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?I have a bunch of ocs that are part of my own work, which I refer to as ‘Golden Empire’

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

I privately rp w @spokoystviye, namely our ocs Regulus and Adelais. We used to do Gregory and Jason too but ever since we worked on the time it plays in that’s stopped lmao.

So Regulus it is: Regulus Whitlock, living in France during the French Revolution. He’s originally from England, where he grew up the son of a Blacksmith. Regulus is exceptionally tall for the time he lived in, very soft hearted and believes in “dressing like a gentleman,behave like a bastard”. Most part of his life he works as a Blacksmith from his shop, that he took over from his father after the man died. Regulus took on a ‘side job’ as a hunter, smart, a good shot and with a great need to help people. But he’s of too good nature, ending up taking in a Vampire of all things, despite better judgement, not able to leave the woman to her death.

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I don’t think I could give an oc to a random person, that is one that I’ve worked w a lot. Just making a design and such for the purpose of giving it away in the first place would be fine

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

Gerwyn is relatively complicated to draw solely because his base design is full body armor lmao. Besides him maybe Susanna and Nathanael since their design is hard to make it look accurate especially without colouring it

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Seth, definitely, he’s the most positive and sweet of all my Ocs

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

Both @bruhchantite and @spokoystviye have ocs I love, like Bruhs Arcana Oc Nien, whom I like a lot, and Leander has Adelais who’s a sweet baby deserving protection [also Adelean is hot shit]

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? There are quite a few I’d say lmao

But most of them I’d consider more violent than troublemaker, so Jonathan probably (whos still violent but who was a troublemaker even before that)

14. Tragic Backstory

Gregory and Annora have a tragic backstory as well but I’m gonna go w Célestin rnTw: Rape, Abuse, Homophobia

Célestin Villeneuve grew up in France to very religious parents with strict views.  Célestins mother had unhappily carried out Célestin, having gotten pregnant at a very young age. Both her and her husband being strong believers, they considered abortion a sin and kept the child. Her own parents threated it like a shameful secret, making their daughter and her boyfriend marry, despite them being 16 at the time. They moved to the next town, where they were unknown and had everyone belive that they were both adults, their child concieved properly, after marriage and willingly.

Not having finished their education properly, Célestins father lied in order to get a job, his wife mroe than willing to keep up his tales, in fear of being ridiculed by the community. Appearance and what others thought of them became the most important thing to Célestins mother early on, drilled into her by her own parents.Célestins father craved to be popular and keep his image in the town.

They were active in church and his father insisted on going to every sunday mass, prayers before lunch and his child confessing his sins to him.Punishment often consisted of simple bread and cheese and water for meals, a swat ont he back of his head if it was particularly bad in his parents eyes.

Célestin had always been a perfect child, smart and following his parents wishes, sitting in church, firm in prayer.He considered his parents treatment right, and, as he kept from sin, was confident it would never get any worse.However, he was gravely mistaken.As he got older, Célestins parents would get worse in their punishment, afraid their child would sully their image, as they themselves had, with the early pregnancy.

Things reached a peak when Célestin discovered he was gay. Knowing it to be a sin, he told his mother, asking her for help to free him of this condition, telling her he’d accept the punishiment if it’d only make him right in God’s eyes again.

His mother was shocked, less so because of her sons sexuality, but more so because she had seen the violence raging in her husband and was well aware that he would no longer keep the punishment to a few slaps.Talking to her husband that night, when Célestin was asleep, she attempted to sway her husband, who was as she had expected, beyong angered.

He however knew of her fear for being casdt out of the community and explained that not punishing and correcting such behaviour would result in Célestin believing it was normal and flaunting it around for everyone to see. Riddled by fear, Célestins mother accepted her husbands preposition as what would happen to her son.

While Célestin had expected punishment, nothing would have prepared him for what would come for him as his father would drag him out to the field each day anew, whipping him until his back was bleeding. His wife was fobidden to tend to her sons wounds and was often standing by staring into nothing while her son begged for forgiveness.

Célestin learned how to poorly tend to his own injuries, some getting infected at the lack of proper treatment. To his own shock no beating did help to cure him as he had desperately hoped to happen to stop the violent treatment. Unsure where to turn, and why God would have him suffer like this, despite all attempts and prayer, Célestin went to the church to confess and ask a pastor for help.The man was shocked and appalled at what he heard and even more so at the fact that Célestin was under the impression that this was right.

For the first time Célestin was told that he was treated terribly, and that he had done nothing to deserve this. He went away with odd feelings in his mind and the first seeds of doubt. Attempting to help, the pastor went to talk to Célestins parents a few days later, when Célestin himself was in school, trying to sway them in their ways, telling them that they surely had to know that he had to report such behaviour.

When Célestin returned from school, he found his mother crying adn his father angrier than hed ever been. They’d not taken the pastors warning to take their son away to their heart, seeing their fault in their actions but instead saw nothing but the ridicule they were about to face, as well as the authorities coming up. Célestins father feared to loose his job, and face, more than he feared for his sons life. He beat Célestin again before dragging him into his parents room, where a middle aged woman was waiting that was known throught the town for offering any kind of intercourse for the right money.

Saying that there was only one way to truly fix him, Célestins father forced his son to have sex with the prostitute, watching with a belt in hand to make sure the intercourse was actually carried out. During it he would often ask his son if he was still filthy, wanting to do this with ofther men and woulod generally insult and hummiliate him. Whenever his son would answer with crying or begging his father to stop this, he would simply pay the woman for yet another round.

When it was finally over, Célestin was left laying in his parents bed, listening as his parents were having dinner in the kitchen.Filled with shame he declined everything when the authorities came knocking at their door the next day, nodding of his fathers claim that he had made it all up.

The pastor attempted to speak to Célestin but when he asked to see the boy the evening, he and Célestins parents found his room empty.Célestin had ran away.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

Gosh I love it I wish I could do it more. I feel if u actually have some else to chat ocs with it leads to ur oc getting more and more fleshed out

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

I think Helva would take the cake on that one

17. Any OC OTPs?

Regulus/Adelais, Caspian/Nadia, Hunter/Piper and Araan/Dorian,,,,If I can be honest, I hardly have the amount of Oc ships as I would lmao,,,my ocs do function on their own but there are so I’d just love to ship lmao

18. Any OC crackships?

Not really any, I shortly thought about just taking a random oc from u/Leander and pairing them randomly w one of mine for the laughs of it.But then I felt it would maybe be inapropriate to do that lmaoo

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

While all my Ocs mean a lot to me I chose Brist for this because he’d the first Oc I made for a game, fallout new vegas, which I love a lot. He pretty much develpoed all by himself while I was playing, and is really fleshed out now. I’m super fond of him somehow.Here are a couple of things about him:

Brist was born 2225, the son of  caravaneers, somewhere on their travels and therefore does not know where exactly he was born. Deciding that raising a child at such young age while traveling would not work well, they settled near the ruins of Ashton and Hopeville, where a small community was build.Brist spend his childhood in the Divide and soon began traveling alongside his father, keeping the community flourishing as the only connection between it and the rest of the land. When the Divide and the road paved by Brist came to attention of the NCR, they cooperated to protect the supply line and keep it open for other traders. With that done and his home taken care of, Brist left the Divide to travel further, exploring New California as a drifter.  

Brist came to enjoy the life of a Drifter, occasionally taking small jobs and living from day to day up until returning to the divide a last time, making a delivery that would cause his home to be destructed.Not knowing of what had happened, Brist returned into the Mojave desert, further traveling New California before joining the Mojave Express.2281 he was hired to deliver another important package, once more without knowledge of what it would cause, and was shot in the head by Benny in Goodsprings.

He doesn’t sleep too much, and he’s not at all picky about where. He prefers having some sort of mattress but if he’s tired and there’s none he’ll sleep on the floor.

Brist is an Courier and Explorer at heart, determined to finish his jobs, power through them. Even if that might result in physical pain or poisoning. Brist has the constant need to be on his feet all the time, traveling, looking around or doing things for people and he often does not sleep, eat, shower or talk during these travels. Sometimes he’s so focused on the road ahead that he misses the explosive traps right in front of him.

He notices that he is doing this, and he can sometimes be heard muttering to himself how he’ll see a doctor in the next town and so on, but those good intentions always get lost along the way. Brist hates missing traps and such, but he doesn’t quite see that those thigns could easily be avoided if he’d be more careful.

He is suffering from Radiation Poisoning, he could easily be treated for it at the early stages but he literally does not care enough to see a doctor or get some RadAway. He keeps delaying it in favour of missions and traveling and stuff

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Charlie sings, more for herself actually, than for anyone else but she’s quite good at it. She’s constantly humming when she’d focusing on something and sometimes doesnt even notice when she starts singing along to songs. She simply loves music a lot and lets herself be taken along by the songs. Has no real preference for genre but she likes happy go lucky songs most

21. Your most artistic OC

Richard aka Dick. He’s at tattoo artist and leaves cool little doodles everywhere. Especially great with colours. The most colorful the better

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

There aren’t really any, since my ocs arent popular or anything. Someone did sometimes, but it was more forcing their ideas or their own thoughts w their own ocs on mine,,,

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Gregory, as you see below has changed quite a bit. While the overall design is the same, now he looks  as nasty as I imagine him to be, a lot less soft.Character-wise my ocs didn’t change drastically

Only the fact, in Gregory’s case, that he got more fleshed out, and the time he lives in changed, to the 50sI’m trying to not write to many long things here lmao.Especially since just u and Leander will read this and Leander knows himst and Regulus already.

Dr Gregory Thomas Landon was born 1911 to Sybill and Raphael Landon. While the first world war almost went by without having any impact on the family, Raphael was pulled into war when America joined in 1917 and died in combat.

With her husband gone and her son just 6 years old, Sybill took a job as a secretary to make sure of her and her sons survival.Sybill had grown up the youngest child (of those who had survived) out of 5, always too smart and abitious for a woman in her time. Her father was Doctor and she would often sneak into his office room to look through notes and books on human anatomy and patient records.She had written down what she believed could be links between illnesses,behaviour and anatomy, finding the greatest interest in the still very new field of psychology. Of course her father wanted to hear nothing of it, Sybills oldest brother being the one ment to inherit their fathers office and place as a doctor.

But Sybill had never stopped being interested in psychology, following the work of Edward Titchner, whod brought psychological studies to America, as well as the rise of ‘structuralism’ ,as close as possible.Unlike Titchner, who excluded the study of children, Sybill wondered if it was the childs mind that should be studied to find the roots of all things. Perhaps it was bitterness above all that drove her to the treatment of her son in the following years. Sybill had lived her life knowing that she had no possibility whatsever to porperly study psychology and work on her theories. But hearing about Margaret Washburn, the woman that had been able to become a psychologist, Sbyill turned anger and disappointment to her son, whom she viewed as the reason she had to stay at home and be a mother isntead of trying to achieve what Ms Washburn had.

Quickly she realized however that she did not need a title or be thought by a Doctor to test her theories, deciding to conduct them on her son, who had kept her from fullfilling her dream. While Gregory was not the perfect research object, already six years and not a infant, who Sybill believed to be the ideal stage, she attempted to see if continous infliction of pain would change her sons behaviour.

She was especially curious if such pain inflicted on the brain would influence Gregorys personality, perhaps causing of curing misbehaviours and such. Gregory would grow up very intelligent but withdrawn, hardly finding kinship with people his age, spending his time reading. Like his mother before him he became interested in the human mind and, unlike Sybill, was able to study, earning him a Doctorate in both psychology and psychiatry

While he remained living with his mother he would sometimes roam the university campus, especially after long nights of studying, observing the people around.

It was there that he, at age 19, that he met a young woman that had been wandering around, lost and visibly pregnant. Seeing her caused a deep shock in Gregory as she resembled his mother in looks like no other woman he’d even seen before. Unbeknowns to his mother, Gregory had suffered great damage from her treatment of him, which had lead to violent thoughts and great apathy. Had the girl not approached him, she would have lived but she decided to ask him for help, ending in her death.

This remained the only unplanned murder commited by the Doctor, who hid her body, laying awake at night, working out what to do with her. He had carefully opened her up, not focused on her death as much as on causing her pain for as long as possible, but as he hadn’t been very ecperienced yet he had made quite a mess. The young woman would turn to the first in a row of women that caused Gregory to perfect his work and disposal of the bodies.

World War Two brought a sudden end to the Doctors murder streak. Age 30 when America entered the War he was pulled into it as a medic, despite not being properly trained as a Doctor 

However his talents that he had perfected during his murders had been of great use during the war that had only led to Gregory becoming even more cold to death and gore. Returning from the War he was offered a position at a instiution, as the need for Psychologists arose.

However Gregory saw no great interest in treating shell shocked patients for too long, he instead chose to focus on the psychiatric field, working in an asylum from then on. Gregory is, while extremely smart, speaking four languages and being a Doctor, unable to form any bonds with people.

He’s terribly arrogant and aware of his intelligence, viewing it as a superiority to other people. He suffers from antisocial personality disorder/ psychopathy and is addicted to nictotine.

He’s a very cleanly person, almost to a point of it being an obsession. He smells of Nicotine, Disinfectant and a neutral perfume.

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Oh geez, well I’d rather meet an oc of mine thats like, one of the chill ones. Maybe someone about my age.

Someone like Friedrich or Violet. It’d be easiest to talk to them, and I know they are super nice. Meeting Brist, Araan or Caspian would be cool too tho, so many stories and questions there

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

There used to be the joke that Friedrich is basically a tall, muscular version of me. Funnily enough I now have the chin beard as well, and I’ve discovered that I’m as much of a nerd and work focused person as he is. Still while we share some similarities, we’re p different still lmao

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Not really, only changed things to be more accurate and stuff but that aint against my will or anything

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Nope

28. Your most dangerous OC?

There are a couple, such as Cenric (being a crazy, megalomanic, narcisstic, manic Emperor), Gregory and Jonathan (literal serial killers), Crya (cannibalistic monster) and Eligos (p much does body disposal). 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Eddy and Dick, they would tell each other because they’d go together lmao. Paula would want to and just before going there she’d chicken out of it

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? Quinn, he’s tall and grown up but he loves small and cute things

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Friedrich II:Would have a super cool layout that he coded himself, and would offer the theme for people to use, as well as giving people tips on how to easily do cool things w their themes.

His icon would’ve been fairytale themed for a while until he posts his first selfie for pride month, then it’s a picture of him with a pride flag. He’d reblog peoples art of fairytales, and he’d especially love peoples new interpretations of them

Would reblog thing about rats and post pictures of his own rats with cute captions. Reblogs peoples selfies during pride and other pride days ( like trans day of visibility n such), always adding super nice things in the tags.

He posts his first selfie during pride and it gets quite the reblogs and people asking to see more (half of them are thirsting after his body) Declines the request to post full topless pictures because he says that his blog is sfw and he doesnt want to mix fairtales, rats and codes with nudes.

He would have a nsfw blog tho,,,hes horny He’d give it to those over 18 that’d ask, reblogging gifs and stuff there and yeah thats where he posts topless pictures.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

I’d like to say Brist because that would be funny as hell and he would actually explore everything, pretty unfazed by what is going on. But honestly Annora is already living a horror game pretty much, that is with loosing her parents, fighting for survival,being used by the revolution group as a ‘chosen one’, and especially because she has to encounter the wandering twins, which are creepy as heck. She’s a fighter against will but she pulls through and shes careful enough not to do something stupid.

33. Your shyest OC?

That’d be sweet, pure Charlie

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Oh yes, Eddy and Dick; Jae-Eun and Jae-Hyeok; Nathanael and Susanna

35. Any sibling characters?

There’s a lot coming your way

Cenric and his younger sister Annora

Sadira and her older brother Arshad

Gregory actually has a halfbrother that’s not really developed, named Maximilian 

Charlie and her younger sister Paula

Olivia and her older brother Bill

Arthur and his younger brother Jonathan

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

The above mentioned Adelais who belongs to Leander, is let’s say semi-paired w Regulus

Established girlfriends Sadira (who’s my oc) and Elizaveta (who is his)

Violet (mine) and Cole (his) sweet young love

And an AU Version of my oc Echo is the ex of Ninas OC Crem

Charlie used to be w the oc Amy of a friend but idk if that’s still a thing

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

There are a few, like Myka, Viida, Amodis,Brist, Rovhen and Araan but I think I’ll go with Cyra

Cyra, or ‘Venus Cyra’ is not as developed as some others here so not to worry about too long of a text,,,,I hope

Cyra is meant to exist around the 50s funnily enough, just like Gregory, which I really didn’t intend lmaoShe is,a s the question suggests, not quite human, despite maintaining a relaticely human appearance for most of the time. Cyra lives in a house in the fictional Bloomstreet, which has been declared haunted decades ago because of a man living inside of it that took great joy in messing with his neighbours.

Crya believes herself to have lived in the house all of her life, with no memory as to how she got to come there and why she can’t leave it.In truth it’s told that she moved in with her grandmother when Cyra was just a baby, having lost her parents. If you were to believe the whispers and legends the old woman was very poor, hardly able to keep the small house for her and her granddaughter.

She would wear the same old clothes she had arrived in, the young girl wearing a worn out dress with a pale blue bow. Legends say that they were so poor that the grandmother couldn’t afford to buy much more than bread and water.

A police man came to their door one day because the old woman hadn’t been able to pay for her house anymore. Desperate, it’s said that she hit the man across the head as he had bend down to say hello to Cyra, who looked famished and sick at that point.

Not sure what to do with the body and knowing that her granddaughter needed more than bread to survive and grow, she went to butcher the man and cook him into stew for herself and her granddaughter to eat. As she saw that Cyra became more healthy and stronger at the meat consumption, the old woman, desperate and hopeful to keep her beloved granddaughter alive, fully turned to cannibalism.

It’s said that the grandmother died a couple of years later of old age but legends have it that she is still in the house as well, a half dead monster. Cyra, having eaten human flesh all her life is said to have turned into a wendigo like creature,fully turning into a gruesome beast during the nights, to feed on the flesh of people that dare to enter the haunted house.

She is called Venus in some tales because a man claimed to have seen her one day, watering the roses in the lawn of the house, more beautiful than anything he had seen all his life, calling her ‘a sight like the goddess Venus herself’

Cyra isn’t fully aware of these legends, but she is aware of her monsterous nature, that she is unable to control. She believes she was cursed to stay in this house, a monster taking her place during night, leaving her with the remains of peoiple and the ravaging craving for human flesh.

She loved taxidermy and moths, and tending to flowers.

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

Irina is a professional ballet dancer so I’d say she’s the best out of my Ocs

39. Introduce any character you want

Alright, because I’ve tought about them recently, I’ll cheat a bit and introduce two ocs: Susanna and Nathanael, whom I mentioned somewhere above briefly as ‘The Wandering Twins’

They are part of my Golden Empire universe and are the heads of one of the groups that build after the collapse of most of what we know of the Earth.

They play a part in Annoras journey to find her brother as both a danger to avoid/defeat, as well as potential allies. Susanna and Nathanael are twins that are both about 1,90m tall and are constantly veiled, having stapled veils to their faces and necks.

That adds to their ghostly,creepy appearance. You could describe their group as a cult,as it is religiously motivated and their followers are devoted to Susanna and Nathanael, who they call ‘Mother’ and ‘The Priest’

That could come fromt he fact that Susanna wears the traditional headwear of a nun, while Nathanael looks somewhat like a Priest and carries a bible around. Christianity is considered an old and outdated religion in the times that GE plays in, practiced by a very small amount of people before the collapse. It’s generally thought of as outdated and outlandish, with stories too wild to be real.

However some of the old text have been recovered or been carried on over generations by those that remain firm believers in the Christian God. Susanna and Nathanael were raised by such a family and spread their belief to vulnerble and scared people after the collapse that latch onto it as a form of explanation easily.

The Twins view the collapse as a sort of apocalypse brought by God to punish Humanity for their sins, they believe that they must attone and suffer now as Earth was made their purgatory. If one is firm in belief and enough suffering is done, so they say, Heaven will open up and they will be taken by God to heaven, forgiven and able to forget the horrors they went through on Earth.

They expect that suffering to be done by their followers, who all walk barefoot, some of them having blinded themself in order to see nothing but God in their lifes. Susanna and Nathanael as well as their group wander in order to spread their message, taking in new followers if they prove their faith by stripping themselves of their footwear and walking through the ruins of cities with them until their feet bleed.

Only if they are willing to shed blood for their sins will they be taken on and be bathed and baptized in a river and dressed in simple gowns.It is considered the highest honour to be veiled just like Susanna and Nathanael. They seem to be able to appear out of nowhere and have a settlement in the woods that they return to.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

I love developing oc things w my friends, its always a lot of fun and I wish I could do that more. Especially nice was cosplaying Gregory and Jason w Leander,,,cosplaying ocs is rad af, would love to do that again

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

Yeee, mostly you and Leander actually, but a couple of others too. Let me see if I can show u a favourite oc art from u and from Leander

@bruhchantite listen,,,this is so fucking cute, I love seeing our kids all together. All art of them is always so happy and positive. I love every piece u did of em but this one especially bc,,,bringing star wars into it??Power move

@spokoystviye okay listen you made soo many great pieces but this one,,,this one idk maybe its because I love Brist so much but,, this is simple yet amazing. I love the small light play u got in here and just how u drew Brist,,,thats me boy!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Cenric, I’d say. He thinks of himself as a god after all. I think he’d like the imagery of it all

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Oh geez well,, I generally make my ocs older than me, like most of them are in their late 30s/40s, I have more ocs heading 60s than I have heading 20 lmao. My ocs are more often male than any other gender and more likely to be lgbt than straight. I like nice and clean looks, Leander can tell a great deal about how much I care for a clean look lmao. Most of my ocs have their life in order, and most of them are on the taller side

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

I put thought into my characters,so I think that makes them interesting and fun. And I try very hard to havbe them make sense and be time/lore appropriate.

45. A character you no longer use?

I did drop some Ocs a bit ago that never got much work and that I didn’t think interesting enough to work on. Sadly enough I don’t do as much w my ocs as I’d like to generally.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Nope, I’m generally kind to my characters lmao

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

both Nina and Leander did and I think it’s v sweet hell yeah

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Charlie and Caspian, truly good and pure, and positive

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Seth would definitely love memes. So would Kylan but he’d like the really weird ones best. Eddy and Dick would constantly send memes to each other, effectively annoying everyone else. Paula would like memes when they are already outdated

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Generally special universe oc seem to be more interesting than like,,basic universe ones but I wannt quickly talk abour my OC WilliamI love him okay? He’s from Russia, where he grew up in a tightly knit family. He’s a childrens Doctor and was married to Nahia, who’s an ER Doctor. They met in med school and got along super well, they both were used to the whole early marriage idea and marrying someone you like so they did just that. They both always wanted to have children and kid. It’s very important for them to be there for thgeir child despite their jobs. William is such a dad, he loves his child so much, he’d do anything for em. He and Nahia are best friends, even after the divorce, which happened after long talks because they had noticed that something was off. It led to William confessing that he thinks he might be gay and they ended up divorcing because it turns out yes he is. William probably would’ve stayed w Nahia, also for their childs sake but she wouldn’t hear anything of it. He’s a very kind man, calm and I love the thought of him being able to explore who he is even at his age. He’d be so new to everything,,sobs,,angel

[crabbiestseaman-blog]

character questions

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?  No direct siblings! But if I app to DA7, my character will be around Adachi’s age and related to him. This is true no matter which of my top 2 choices I go with, really.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Very positive! She babies him a bit too much, and he gets a little annoyed with this. That’s about the extent of the negativity in their relationship.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? Adachi’s dad had a heart attack and then quit crab fishing, divorced Adachi’s mom, and fucked off to who-knows-where. What a weird mid-life crisis!

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? I’m pretty sure he’s watched someone else drown on at least one occasion but I regularly forget about this like a good roleplayer lol

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? keys, phone, (unless he’s at sea, in which case why even bring your phone if there’s not gonna be reception) gun, ammo. his coat has a specially designed concealed carry pocket. i hate this.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? who tf knows

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? now? lots of nightmares of suddenly falling ill and dying. thanks, chou! (dis a Joke i personally stan for chou. seriously go have your OC interact with her, hear her out, and you’ll stan too)

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? sIFUISGHJDGKSJGSGhskJGSHJKSDGKJHGSDKGJHUGJKHSGK yes, but he only shoots large animals because they’re larger, easier targets. (also, birds + rabbits are too cute to kill.) first target was probably a rabbit at the insistence of his peers and he cried afterwards.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? not really! adachi’s dad may have fucked off to the middle of nowhere, but he inherited his dad’s job. so they’re still making a comfortable middle class income.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? well i mean he grew up in alaska and prefers not dying of hypothermia so

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? ch8 lol

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? who kno

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? no

Does your character remember names or faces easier? both fairly easy. he notices small things about people easily.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? he’s preoccupied with making an income, on account of uh. being forced to be the primary breadwinner of his household for a while there. but for that same reason, he’s also preoccupied with not spending it recklessly. he prides himself on keeping a fairly large rainy day fund in case of emergencies. he’s probably legitimately saving up for retirement at the age of 19. i hate this

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? success, because you kind of have to uh make an income if you want to be happy and not a homeless bum like his dad lol

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? guns

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? both are important

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? what the fuck is tact or making an effort to be friendly and agreeable ever. tbh the crab fishing didn’t help, because it’s a REALLY REALLY toxic working environment. consider it a less-organized military setting, in terms of toxicity. adachi pissed off his irl friends back in alaska and now they’re not friends anymore. now he’s living in japan and well, if you’re rude even by american standards, you’re not gonna get along with people in japan either

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism? “iiiiiii’m the best” - captain kaito adachi, 2017 (in all seriousness he’s somewhat more inclined towards self-reflection these days)

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? “FUCK YOU EVERYONE IS TO BLAME BUT MYSELF” -capt. kaito adachi (unless it was very very VERY clearly his fault in which case he’ll fess up quickly b/c he’s an honest man. he’s not tactful, but at least he’s honest.)

What does your character like in other people? drive, work ethic, honesty, not being a goddamned moron, sharing his basic philosophy towards this whole murder game thing

What does your character dislike in other people? being an idiot, laziness, dishonesty

How quick is your character to trust someone else? Not Very you have no idea how many kids in this game he didn’t trust right off the bat LOL

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? Very fast, he has a tendency to jump to one conclusion and stick with it tbh. But he’s not 100% unreasonable surprisingly

How does your character behave around children? you know when you go over to your friend’s house and you get weird vibes from their dad, but it feels more like they’re Just Like That rather than that they’re actively going out of their way to antagonize you. it’s like that. for the record, he grew up in a fairly conservative household where men weren’t supposed to have “caretaker” roles, so he’s kind of internalized that a lot. it’s more that he thinks this is how he’s “supposed” to act around children than anything.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? he doesn’t “deal with it” he starts it LOL

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? actually usually pretty slow believe it or not. but he’s in a. murder game setting. so there’s that. for the record, at the moment he’s not going to resort to violence anymore except in self defense/defense of people he cares about.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? a crab man. he is now a crab man. thanks, life.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? not much considering he’s a pretty disgusting person himself

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. The Sea

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. The Land

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? surprisingly willing to improve if the point is driven home hard enough but if you don’t get to that point, he’s just going to be defensive.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? keep trying the solution/method that didn’t work the first time. no his first guess was right damnit

How does your character behave around people they like? surprisingly agreeable

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Hiss

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? status

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? whatever’s most practical for the objective of self-preservation (and the preservation of those he cares about). much more inclined towards removing the problem/threat tho

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? one time he got run over by a moose he failed to shoot and that’s his traumatic backstory. he doesn’t trust those damn things anymore

How does your character treat people in service jobs? neutrally. it’s the manager’s job to determine if the employees are doing a good job or not, not him. when back home in america, usually tips well but will only leave an 8% tip if the waiter is clearly being exceptionally rude.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? Earn Your Keep, Greenhorn. I Had To, Why Can’t You. (kill this man)

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? he has a step-dad does that count

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? nah

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? very very difficult. adachi cannot say it without meaning it.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? adachi’s parents are irreligious - they’re not Rigid Atheists, it’s just that they grew up in japan in fairly secular households. by contrast, adachi himself grew up in a rural american town that was mostly christian. throughout his childhood, adachi’s friends were fairly pushy about their christianity - and to be frank, he found this culturally insensitive. as such, he’s a bit averse to traditional christian ideas of heaven/hell/etc. as for what adachi himself thinks happens after he dies, he’s not totally sure, but he’s also not sure he cares. he’s determined to live life to the fullest, and whatever happens afterwords is not something he needs to worry about right now.

[skullinacowboyhat]

Partners & Preparation (Part One)

The next part of my Natila fic, in which she meets her new partner (a charming Cathar) and gets the plan set down, yadada yada yada. This instalment is waaaaayyy longer than the first, so prepare yourself. 

The trip to Nar Shaddaa was long but pleasant. Natila had taken a public shuttle there, as using a Republic ship would definitely cause suspicion.

The planet was large and colorful; spires covered in advertisement holos scraped the skies, cantinas and casinos filled up every empty space, and people from all across the galaxy crowded about in marketplaces and shops.

The electric atmosphere, however, was a thin veneer hiding the true, and exceptionally dangerous, Nar Shaddaa.  Gangsters, slavers, crime lords and pirates; they all called this moon home, earning a living off the backs of innocent civilians.

Natila shoved her way out of the shuttle and through the busy spaceport. After handing in her fake ID docs at the security kiosk, she made her way to the rendezvous point where she would meet her new partner.

Section 23B was a little ways east of the space-port, near the enormous Star-Cluster Casino.

She slowed as her navigator beeped rapidly; she was at the meeting point. She glanced about her, eyeing the territory and searching for any potential SIS agents.

Natila positioned herself in the shadows, right next to a booth selling rotten-looking snacks and beverages. In the distance, she could hear the sounds from the casino; yells, laughter, music, gossip. The street on which she was standing was quieter than the rest she had been to. Full of booths and shops filled with necessities, the only people who came here were looking for something in particular, rather than entertainment or consumer therapy.

Ten minutes passed before her partner arrived. Walking casually through the street, he had approached a couple of booths, never purchasing anything, all the while eyeing the nearby people.

To anyone else, he would have appeared to be like any other person, but to Natila, it was obvious who he really was. It was the way-too-casual walk that gave it away.

After a moment, the man approached her.

He was tall and heavily built, with blue cat-like eyes, tan skin, that upon closer inspection, appeared to be fur, a handsome face and a long mane of brown hair tied back in a low ponytail. A Cathar. He was cute.

“Lovely weather,” he said, humming to himself.

“Yes, but I always bring an umbrella. .”

The code phrase did its magic. Natila and the Cathar turned towards each other and shook hands.

“Andrin Kor.”

“Natila.”

Andrin smirked. “Do you have a last name or is that something I find out later?”

“I don’t have a last name.”

The Cathar lifted an eyebrow teasingly. “Going for the mystery. I get it.”

“Makes it more fun, doesn’t it?” Natila smirked. Maybe having a partner wouldn’t be so bad.

“Shall we?” Andrin gestured to the end of the street. The safe-house.

Natila nodded.

“So, what’s your story?” Andrin said.

Natila drew her head back in surprise. “You’re a bold one. We just met.”

Her partner shrugged. “I don’t like to waste time.”

Well, if I have to have a partner, might as well have some fun with it.

“Well, it’s too soon anyways,” Natila teased, “The tragic backstory is to be found out later. After we face some enemy and start to respect one another.”

“Oh right,” Andrin smiled. He had a nice smile.

The two approached the safe-house; an apartment above an empty, battered shop. They checked to see if anyone was following them, then unlocked the door and entered.

The apartment was dark and musty, outfitted with a holo-projector, a couch, a fresher and two beds, all covered in a disgusting layer of dust.

“Lovely place,” Andrin said, setting down his pack near the door.

“Well, it’s better than a fancy hotel where they serve those creepy glowing drinks,” Natila swatted a cobweb out of her face.

Andrin looked at her in surprise. “You don’t like drinks that glow?”

“They’re creepy. I’m not putting that in my body.”

Her partner looked at her in amused confusion, then shook his head. Natila activated the holo-projector and entered a data-card into its receptacle.

The schematics of the Hutt headquarters lit up the room, slowly revolving to give a view of all sides. Andrin walked over to the projector and crossed his arms.

“Where did you get this?”

She smirked. “I have friends on Nar Shaddaa, buddy. Been working on connections in the underworld for years.” Her words trailed off as she fiddled with the controls.

“Oh yeah I forgot,” Andrin said, glancing down at her, “You’re not actually an SIS Agent.”

Natila scoffed. “Yeah, I’m just an official contact. But the SIS is getting so desperate that they’re using non-Agents on missions like these.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Anyways,” she continued, glancing up at her partner, “I have a plan to infiltrate the headquarters.”

“Show me.” Andrin crossed his arms.

“Tomorrow, according to my contacts, the headquarters is hosting a party to celebrate Gero the Hutt’s one year anniversary on Nar Shaddaa, which makes it the perfect time to get the information. To be specific, he used to be situated on Coruscant, before he was discovered and exiled from Republic space. He’s a crime lord and a slaver. Now, we can sneak into the headquarters through the tunnels here-”

Andrin lifted up a hand to stop her. “It would be better if we infiltrated the base through the party. Meaning, we disguise ourselves as guests. As long as we have good covers, no one will suspect us.”

Natila thought for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. I wouldn’t have thought of that. But we would definitely need good covers. And Coruscant would never make or send them in time.” She smirked. “Luckily, I know someone right here on Nar Shaddaa.”

“Sho Jivan is situated in the industrial sector,” Natila said, gesturing vaguely as the two partners walked down the street, “She’s one of the best at forging fake identities.”

“You just know everyone, don’t you?” Andrin said.

“Oh only a couple underworld gangs, identity forgers, spies…” She winked up at Andrin.

“Yeah yeah yeah!” Her partner waved her words away and smiled to himself.

“The industrial sector is quite a ways off,” Natila said, “So we’ll probably want to hitch a ride somewhere.”

“There’s probably a taxi droid around here,” Andrin said, arching his neck to look down other streets.

Natila searched the crowd, narrowly dodging a group of drunk Weequays. “Bingo.”

Across the street, half-hidden by an unusually large Nautolan, was a taxi droid.

“Nice spotting,” Andrin said, jogging over to the droid.

Natila watched him for a moment. She barely knew him, but he seemed agreeable, friendly and charming. She liked him.

She sighed and followed Andrin. He was negotiating with the droid, handing it credits and pointing in the direction of the industrial sector.

“.....as soon as possible,” he was saying.

“Got us a ride?” Natila fidgeted with her jacket.

“Yeah,” Andrin said.

The taxi droid was quiet on the way to the industrial sector. Natila and Andrin less so. They talked about anything and everything; it was strange how well they got along.

“Okay okay okay, but how long have you been working for the…..corporate office?” Natila laughed.  

“Ten years.”

“Ten years?”

“Yeah, I joined after I finished school on Ord Mantell.”

“Huh. I wouldn’t have pegged you for the patriot type.”

Andrin shifted in his seat, his fur bristling as the speeder sped through the streets of Nar Shaddaa. “Why?”

“You seem to be the rogue scoundrel type.”

“Huh.”

“But I guess everyone has that secret or true nature that you don’t first see.”

Andrin looked at her for a moment. “What’s yours?”

Natila leaned back and tugged her jacket close. “Maybe the fact that this wasn’t my plan.” She gestured vaguely.

“What do you mean?”

She bit her lip for a moment. “To join the SIS. To be involved in Republic issues at all.”

“Not the political type?”

“No, that’s not it……” Natila trailed off as the speeder halted. “We’re here. I’ll tell you about it later.” She absentmindedly patted Andrin’s face, then climbed out of the speeder and paid the droid.

Her partner sat in the speeder for a moment, then followed her, a look of confused thoughtfulness across his face.

“Sho’s place should be a couple of streets from here,” Natila said.

The industrial sector was scarcely populated; people were replaced with over-flowing crates and pipes strewn all over the place. The streets were dimly-lit and covered with puddles of some sticky liquid Natila didn’t want to think about.

She could hear footsteps behind them. She whipped around, grabbing one of her guns and holding it up high.

“Hey what-?” Andrin began, but he was cut off by more footsteps, louder this time. He too drew his blaster.

More footsteps, more whispers.

Natila pressed her back against a crate and unholstered her other pistol.

“Get out of our territory!” a gruff voice rang through the street.

“Great…..gangs…” Natila muttered.

A group of leather-clad aliens sauntered into view, carrying all kinds of deadly weapons.

“And who are you?” Andrin lifted his chin at the leader, a human covered in ugly cybernetics.

“We’re the Blue Bantha Gang!”

“Yeah they got the smarts of a Bantha too,” Natila whispered to Andrin. Her partner bit back a smile.

“You’re in our territory!”

“Right then, we’ll just…..get out of it,” Andrin smiled.

A Rodian at the end of the group drew out his blaster. “Crossing into our territory is unforgivable!” He and the rest of the gang opened fire. The street erupted in blue blaster bolts.

Man they’re really going for the whole blue theme.

Natila sighed and fired back, dodging the bolts with inhuman speed. Her partner glanced at her in wonder as he shot at the gang.

“How are you doing that?” Andrin shouted over the noise.

“Tell you later, buddy!” Natila shot down the nearest gang member, an unfortunate Zabrak.

In the corner of her eye, she could see a small, round object flying through the air.

“Grenade!” she yelled, ducking behind the crate. The ball exploded, releasing a strange, muddy liquid. She couldn’t tell where Andrin was, but hopefully he was alright.

“Buddy, you okay?” She pounced out from behind the crate, avoiding the goo, and fired at the remaining gang members.

“Still living!” Andrin appeared on her left, his firing arm covered in the muddy substance. He wasn’t showing any signs of pain, which meant that the liquid was most likely just a distractor, rather than an actual weapon.

Natila ran forward, slamming into a skinny Mirialan and forcing him to the ground. Bolts flew past her head and narrowly missed her lekku. She ducked as a grenade soared over her head and exploded on the side of a crate.

She growled and fired at the offender, a big Gran. “Konpa mi, sleemo!”

The alien collapsed on the ground, chest full of blaster holes. The street was silent. Behind her, Andrin was dispatching the last of the gang.

“All good, friend?” Natila holstered her blasters.

Andrin smoothed out his fur. “Yeah. Shall we continue?” “Sure. I’ve had enough of the Blue Banthas for one day.”

Sho’s place was set in a brightly-lit street, right next to an abandoned droid factory. The facade was covered in out-dated advertisements and posters for shows that had long since passed to the next planet. Natila could hear loud, pulsing music from inside.

She halted outside the building, lifting up a hand to stop her partner as well.

“Just so you know….Sho is a bit of an….acquired taste….”

Andrin lifted an eyebrow but said nothing.

A bell rang as they walked through the door. The room was lit with a blood-red light and outfitted with numerous tables covered in datapads, pictures and stamps. The music was even louder inside.

“Sho? You here?” Natila craned her neck to look over a particularly large desk.

“Tilly honey!” A shrill voice came from her left. She winced; she hated that nickname.

A tiny female Zabrak came out from underneath a table, green eyes magnified by goggles.

“Sho! It’s good to see you!”

“And who is this?” Sho eyed Andrin; her expression was making Natila uncomfortable.

“My partner, Andrin.”

The Zabrak looked surprised. “But...you’re a lone wolf, Tilly!”

“Not anymore, Sho. New regulations. But we’re not here to talk about that. We need covers.”

Sho laughed hysterically and nodded. “That’s what I’m best at!”

At a lower volume please. I’m still gonna need my hearing after this mission.

“I know, that’s why I came here,” Natila rubbed her ear-cones. She could see Andrin doing the same.

“What exactly do you need? Wanna be a gang leader? A pirate? Oh no no no no. A DUCHESS!” She laughed even more.

“No, we need a cover for a party at Gero the Hutt’s headquarters, celebrating one year of criminal activity on Nar Shaddaa,” Andrin said, “We’re gonna need IDs and invitations.”

Sho frowned and thought for a moment. “I’m thinking…..I’m thinking…..I’m thinking……”

Natila lifted an eyebrow as Sho threw up her arms in fake frustration.

“I’ll holo you later with details, Tilly! I need to do some serious brainstorming!!”

“Oh, right. Thanks, Sho. We’ll need the covers ready by tomorrow morning.”

“No problem, honey! Anything for my FRIENDS!!”

“I’ll wire you the money after you have our covers. The usual price?”

“SURE HON!!”

Andrin and Natila left rubbing their ears and ear-cones, respectively.

“I can’t hear anything at all,” the Twi’lek groaned.

“Lucky. I can’t get that music out of my head,” Andrin replied.

More to come in the next couple of days!

[uncannycookie]

1, 14, 28 and 43 :3

HALLELUJAH more OC rambling! :D Beware, these ones get pretty wordy^^

1. Your first OC ever

Answered here

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

… no one’s gonna be surprised to hear that I don’t really have any OCs with a happy backstory, huh? Though, honestly, there aren’t that many with a downright tragic one either.

Well, Emri is practically my main OC, so it seems right to go into more detail about him.

This is the basic premise: All children are raised by the priesthood and assigned points of potential worth for society. Emri is assigned zero points.

Usually he’d be killed off, but he works hard to keep proving his worth to everyone. His entire childhood is spent studying his ass off, because intelligence is especially valued in this society and he’d literally die if he got anything less than an 80% score on anything. There is exactly one priest who actually wants to help him, but she does so in, uh, a very questionable manner.

Namely, whenever she’s worried the higher-ups might start sending assassins after him at night, she spikes his drinks with a drug that keeps him awake for multiple days and alert enough to fend off any attackers. Emri just thinks his sleep schedule is naturally messed up.

So it’s a nice surprise for him when, after the kill order on him actually gets signed off on and he’s on the run at age 12, he also suddenly has to deal with withdrawal on top of everything else. He is a high functioning addict for most of his life, basically.

His best bet of survival is to join the plague doctors, who are an independent organisation outside the priesthood’s jurisdiction. Of course that’s not exactly fun for him either, because the doctors are very much their own private microcosm of power struggles and deadly infighting and he still counts as the lowest of the low among them with his zero points.

Also, there is a plague. Lots of death and suffering.

But, yeah, that’s his backstory. I am a nice person and I treat my children well.

28. Your most dangerous OC

Emri is very, very powerful with his magic - but he mostly uses it for peaceful de-escalation and only few people would actually need to seriously fear him.

So… the most dangerous one is actually Ysp. His magic isn’t half as powerful as Emri’s, but he is so much more scary in his way of using it.

Ysp knows fire magic and nothing else. He was never taught how to use it properly so it goes haywire any time he gets stressed out.

The first time a bunch of people died in a fire he caused, he was still pretty young. Because of circumstances, people thought him causing that fire was due to divine intervention, so lil’ Ysp went right ahead and adopted the mindset of If the Gods want me to burn shit down, Imma fuckin burn shit down alright.

So, yeah, he’s a loose cannon. He’s not evil, mind you, he doesn’t go out in search of people to kill or anything, but he pays zero mind to collateral damage.

Basically what I’m saying is, do not mess with Ysp, do not mess with Ysp’s friends, do not under any circumstances mess with Ysp’s pet monkey. You’re going to burn. You and everything around you in a ten mile radius.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

I do T-T

Generally speaking, I tend to make my characters very smart, or at least exceptionally gifted in one area or another, to the point of making them overpowered. One reason I kept reworking Emri’s character was because I made him way too perfect at the start, he could literally do anything and - okay yeah I admit it he was a Gary Stu. There, I’m crying, are you happy now.

I’m improving in that area though. I still like characters that are really good at something, but I don’t forget about their flaws anymore.

But. And this is a big one. I still struggle with female characters. This is my greatest shame.

Needless to say, I write fantasy. I write about magic and elves and dragons and all that good shit. Only problem is, the works of that genre that inspired me as a kid really didn’t have that many female characters. So I kinda fell into this habit where every new character I create is male by default, and it’s terrible and I’m trying so hard to get rid of it. Took me forever to even notice I was doing that.

I’m now at that point where, every once in a while, I will stop and look at a bunch of characters, and I’ll ask myself “do they need to be male? Does that influence the story in any way?” And if the answer is no, there’s a good chance I’ll rewrite half of them as female.

So… I’m getting there, I guess. Slowly, but there’s progress. Please don’t judge me T-T

[fairytail-whathesays]

I have seen your post on Zeref. What do you think should have been done with him for his character to be at the least DECENT?

Hooooly shit. Let’s enter that hurricane and try to find the eye.

1. Stop trying to weave together every single plotline into Zeref.

The big, overarching villain does not necessarily need to be connected to every single story in the series. And when they are, it takes an exceptionally skilled writer to pull it off, and Mashima is frankly a good ways under par. Untangling this mess is the first step towards finding a place from which we can launch an actual character. To that end, I suggest cutting out:

Irene Belserion’s backstory, obviously.

Anna Heartfilia and the Eclipse Gate. That one falls apart rather easily. The dragonslayers did not need to come from 400 years in the past.

Zeref’s story with Mavis. There is far too much interweaving between Fairy Tail and Zeref and it’s basically driving this shitty Alvarez arc.

If you absolutely must keep Natsu being Zeref’s brother, then do so, but that plot point is so overused it’s fast approaching cliche levels. There really should be other ways to tie the central characters into Zeref if they have to be.

2. Explain Ankhseram.

Ankhseram is an actual, divine god of life and death that was awake and willing to curse two teenage individuals over messing with life and death in ways that would end up causing more mass death. In present day Fairy Tail, there has not been a single hint of any divine presence at all beyond Chronos, who in himself is just sort of there to give DiMaria an unfair power. In case anyone is confused at why Ankhseram is important:

It literally caused every single important event in the goddamn manga with its actions.

And yet, it has received no fleshing out or explanations beyond those backstory actions. It is literally just a very important chunk of backstory with no substance. We do not know who exactly Ankhseram is, why he felt it important to curse Zeref and later Mavis over his transgression and her own much smaller one, why it has not been seen or heard from since, what its laws and rules surrounding death are, or how it feels about the events that have unfolded as a consequence of its curses. Ankhseram is literally “a mean god came and cursed Zeref one day so that’s why he’s bad” and that’s it.

3. Do better when it comes to “snapping” Zeref.

People have heard me mention that what Mashima wanted when creating Zeref is the story of a good person who just suffers way too much trauma and tragedy before that one last thing happens to completely break them and turn them into a monster that can’t be saved. I have also mentioned that he failed, badly. And that’s because the catalyst for Zeref “snapping” was Grimoire Heart’s war with Fairy Tail on Tenrou Island. I should mention that Zeref gaining control of his death powers goes hand in hand with his loss of care for humanity at large–one can’t happen without the other. I should also remind everyone of the terrible, traumatizing, and tragic displays of human violence and aggression that have happened during Zeref’s 400+ lifetime, including recent ones like: the cultists of the Tower of Heaven running an immense slave labor project using kidnapped and abused children, the many millions of people across the many towns Grimoire Heart slaughtered without mercy looking for ‘keys’, the Edolas Anima project run by a mad king that would’ve ripped away everyone in Earthland and murdered them……and yet, what tips him from  his life of willful seclusion and love for humanity into nihilistic omnicidal insanity, is…..a war with Fairy Tail that Grimoire Heart started and subsequently lost, badly, wherein no one died except people who died at Zeref’s hand. This is not exactly a believable catalyst for me. I have trouble, considering the depth and scale of this manga, believing that this is what turns a good man into a psychopath. Do better.

4. Stop mixing “kind” and “murderous”.

I will state right here and now that we are supposed to perceive pre-Tenrou Zeref as good. Flawed, maybe, but good. After all, he fell in love with Purity Sue Mavis, and taught her and the other Fairy Tail founders their magic. And he participated in a project to dethrone a homicidal dragon king. All of his horrific experiments started with him just trying to revive his slain brother. That meanie Ankhseram is to blame! All those demons that have hurt and threatened countless people are “misunderstandings”–they were for the purpose of suicide, not killing anyone else! And he banded together 730+ guilds both light and dark to overthrow a tyrannical monarch!

Yeah, there’s a bit too many problems with this. For someone who hadn’t seemed to have had his “snap” yet, Zeref pre-Tenrou is surprisingly uncaring about loss of life that comes as a direct result of his actions. That stuff I mentioned in point three about possible catalysts for Zeref to snap over human violence? A lot of that is blood on his hands. The Tower of Heaven was started in his name, to bring him out of his supposed sleep. So were the mass killings committed by Grimoire Heart. In addition, the demons that he created are either vicious killing machines (Lullaby, Deliora) or are incredibly hostile to human life (Tartaros), an idea that was apparently programmed into them. For someone whose decision to slaughter the entirety of humanity down to the last child was born as a result of one final anger with humanity’s senseless violence against itself, Zeref has still done more harm to humanity than it has ever done to itself, by far, and is either too selfish or too hateful of humanity to begin with to acknowledge it.

This really just comes with a problem I’ve pointed out before, which is that Mashima has no sense of delicacy or subtlety when writing antagonists even if they’re supposed to be anti-villains or tragic villains. “The Black Wizard Zeref” being a misunderstanding kind of plays off how many people were torn apart by Zeref as though he didn’t very much earn that name.

5. Cut his love story with Mavis.

This was just so unnecessary, not to mention a monumental dip into the pedophile-pandering jar. Even if you had to maintain Zeref’s connection with Fairy Tail (you really didn’t), a love story was not the way to go. It has now started its entire own arc, and a very poorly done one at that. You know how I would’ve won the war with Alvarez? Walked up to Acnologia with Mavis’ crystal in hand, said “hey, eat this” or otherwise told him to fling it into the sea, or in some other manner had it delivered permanently from Zeref’s grasp. The fact of the matter is that Mavis should have remained dead, because her being alive has been a tool used for Zeref’s character and not to its greatest effect. 

6. Explain what exactly is necessary to kill Zeref.

Another one of those things that was never really explained about Ankhseram (that really should have been) is the immortality he cursed Zeref with. The most we’ve been able to guess is that it’s sufficient power, as E.N.D. is described as being the most powerful of Zeref’s demons and thus able to kill him. So, uhh….? Have Acnologia do the job? It’s canonically greater than Zeref’s equal, easily so. Or, I dunno, wait a few years and Laxus or Gildarts will get to that level, I’m sure [shot]. Oh, but Zeref wants to destroy Acnologia! (Strange thing, as setting Acnologia on a rampage would be the easiest route to wiping out humanity, which is Zeref’s main goal). That’s what he wants Fairy Heart for: to destroy Acnologia. But couldn’t he also use a power source that great for his suicide? 

If all he needs to die is power, than what exactly is stopping him? If it’s not power, than what is it? We’re getting kind of close to the end of the manga here, and why exactly E.N.D. should be the one to kill Zeref instead of anyone else hasn’t exactly been explained. 

[recentanimenews]

Off the Shelf: Cautiously Optimistic

MELINDA: Well, hello, Michelle! Can you believe we’re back again in just two weeks? I hope you’ve had time to come up with a new joke.

MICHELLE: That last one I made was so very bad, I’m starting to feel remorse for inflicting terrible dad jokes on people at the start of these columns. So, you get a reprieve, everybody!

MELINDA: I dunno, I think you may be disappointing more people than you know!

MICHELLE: If you actually miss the terrible jokes, leave a comment and I’ll do better next time. How about that?

MELINDA: Fair enough! Well, if we’re not telling dad jokes, I suppose we’d better talk about some manga. What have you been reading this week, Michelle?

MICHELLE: I finally took the plunge and read the first two volumes of Fruits Basket Another, the three-volume Fruits Basket sequel by Natsuki Takaya. I was wary about this one, but though it has some significant flaws, I liked it more than I expected to.

In volume one, we’re introduced to Sawa Mitoma, an exceptionally meek girl who spends so much time thinking things like “Why do I always irritate others without even realizing it?” and being perhaps the most passive protagonist I’ve ever seen that she actually becomes irritating to the reader. She has just started her first year at Kaibara High School, and soon encounters “an incredibly sparkly boy” when she drops her student ID. This boy looks a lot like Yuki Sohma and, surprise, it’s his and Machi’s son, Mutsuki. Be prepared for a bunch of this sort of thing, because in short order we learn that Hanajima’s little brother is Sawa’s homeroom teacher and that Makoto Takei (remember that overzealous student council guy?) is a teacher whose obsession with Yuki has now transferred to Mutsuki. (He’s really creepy about it, too, and desperately needs to be fired.)

Sawa next meets Hajime, the son of Kyo and Tohru, who is serving as student council president. Mutsuki is the vice-president, and soon Sawa’s been drafted to be the first-year member. Over time, she meets more Sohmas, including Riku and Sora, the twin children of Hatsuharu and Rin. She gains confidence by being useful to the council and Riku helps her realize that by always keeping her head down, she’s missing opportunities available to her, like the nice girls in class who want to ask her to have lunch with them.

By the end of the second volume, Sawa has become a much more sympathetic character. Not just because she finally starts taking the initiative and actually engaging with life, but because readers can finally see what Takaya-sensei was doing. It turns out that all of Sawa’s issues stem from her abusive mother, who doesn’t come home for long periods of time, and when she does deign to appear, demands gratitude and apologies from the daughter she viciously belittles. No wonder Sawa got warped into thinking everything she does is wrong and that she’s a useless lump who causes trouble for others!

In the end, the not-very-subtle premise of the series seems to be “this generation of the Sohmas all love their parents very much, so this time they’re going to be the ones to save and accept a girl cursed with a shitty home life.” The execution is rather clumsy, however, as the Sohma offspring talk about their parents way too much for normal teenagers. I did like that Ayame’s son, Chizuru, struggles because he’s the normal one in his eccentric family, and that Mutsuki’s love for his parents is partly due to realizing not everyone has it so good. There’s one worrisome panel that suggests young Mutsuki witnessed Akito protecting her and Shigure’s son, Shiki, from Ren wielding a butcher knife! I hope that’s explained in the third and final volume, as well as whether Shiki was responsible for getting Mutsuki to help out Sawa in the first place.

In any case, I liked it enough to finish out the story, and that’s more than I expected.

MELINDA: Okay, so I’ll admit that the parade of Sohma children just reminds me how irritated I was by the neat pairing-off of everyone that happened at the end of the original series (Ayame, seriously??) so it’s probably getting off on the wrong foot with me from the start. But more than that, I’m struck with your description of the kids talking soooo much about their parents… like, some kind of weird collision of “let’s make more money off of Fruits Basket” and “let’s assume that nobody actually read Fruits Basket and we have so much explaining to do!” Or maybe it’s just “let’s make more money off of Fruits Basket, but in only a few volumes, so DUMP THAT INFO.”

Honestly, the only thing that gives me hope is that butcher knife. Akito with a butcher knife is keeping me alive here. I might read it just for that.

Do we have to have the creepy teacher-student obsession, though? I let that stuff go with older manga, but seriously. It’s 2019.

Or wait. Is it Ren with the butcher knife? I think I added a comma in my mind to draw my attention. Without the comma, I’m suddenly less interested.

MICHELLE: Yeah, it was Ren with the knife. She didn’t go away just ‘cos the curse was lifted, so she’s still around being horrible, apparently.

And yes, after everyone paired off neatly at the end of the main series, all of the couples seem to have stayed together for the next twenty years, judging from the age of Hatori’s daughter. At least Hanajima didn’t marry Kazuma! The parent talk isn’t as bad as recapping the events of the original series, at least, but there is a little bit of explanation when introducing new Sohmas to Sawa. Like, no one says Momiji’s name or what particular business he’s doing, but we know he’s extremely successful at it, which is kind of nice.

It’s more like someone saying, “I want to be like them,” which is still more than teenagers generally say, in my experience.

MELINDA: So, okay, you’re enjoying this more than you expected and you’ll likely read to the end. Should I be following your lead, or should I just reread Fruits Basket? I do suddenly have an urge to reread, especially since I recently lent out the first few volumes to one of my teen students!

MICHELLE: I honestly don’t know. I think it might bug you somewhat more than it did me. Maybe wait until volume three comes out and I can give a definitive answer as to whether this series adds anything to the Fruits Basket experience.

What have you been reading this week?

MELINDA: This week, I dug into the debut volume of For the Kid I Saw in my Dreams, a new series from the creator of Erased, Kei Sanbe. Like Erased, it was originally serialized in Kadokawa Shoten’s Young Ace and is being published in English by Yen Press.

Senri Nakajou had a twin brother, Kazuto, with whom his connection was so strong, they experienced shared vision and literally felt each other’s pain when one was beaten by their abusive, alcoholic father. As the older of the twins, Kazuto was intensely protective of Senri, and would manipulate his way into taking the beating for both of them, to spare them “double the pain.” He’d also insert himself between their parents when they were fighting, to spare their mother from the father’s abuse. On those nights, Senri, hidden in the cupboard under the stairs, would experience Kazuto’s pain as he took their mother’s beating on himself, until one night, when the beating never came. Instead, Senri emerged from his cupboard to find both his parents murdered and his twin missing. Based on the two brief visions he shared with his twin afterwards, Senri is certain that his brother was kidnapped and murdered as well. Now, Senri is a high school delinquent, still searching for the man who murdered his brother.

It takes a chapter or two for Sanbe-sensei to introduce Senri’s twin into the story—a choice that pays off, I suppose, by denying us full insight into Senri’s state of mind, which makes his morally-gray existence hit a bit harder in the beginning. The first things we find out about him are that he was discovered sitting in a pool of his parents’ blood as a child and that he now helps run an ongoing con in which his partners steal someone’s money and then Senri gets paid to pretend to recover it for the victim. He’s so cold and remorseless, we’d wonder if he might have murdered his parents himself if we weren’t also looking at his terrifying childhood drawings in which he repeatedly depicts the murderer (whose head he eventually lops off with a pair of scissors). Then the twin revelation transforms him from typical anti-hero into a scarier but more sympathetic anti-hero, which works much better, for me anyway.

While Senri and Kazuto’s extreme twin connection doesn’t so far reach the supernatural heights of the protagonist’s time-traveling in Erased, there is a bit of a similar feel in this series that I admit I’m hoping might pan out into something just as fantastical, because an average tale of vengeance isn’t all that interesting to me. That said, there’s a lot going on here, and I am not at all sure where it’s leading. There is quite a bit of mystery introduced in this volume, beyond the identity of the murderer, and there are some supporting characters I’m already very fond of, including Senri’s grandparents, who raised him after he was orphaned, and his childhood friend, Enan, whose backstory is nearly as tragic as his own.

MICHELLE: Aside from an aborted attempt to read volume one, I haven’t read any of Erased, which I’m hoping to rectify this year. And this certainly sounds a worthy successor! I’m a little concerned I’ll have trouble getting into it, as I generally don’t love narratives that focus on remorseless anti-heroes, but it seems like the mystery of what happened to his parents will compel me forward. I confess that, even with this brief synopsis, I’m already expecting kind of a Loveless outcome with the older brother.

MELINDA: Well, maybe I’m overstating the antihero-ness? He’s got a lot of compassion in him (he’s the one who reached out to Enan when they were young and accepted her when nobody else would). He’s just very much intent on being the one to kill his brother’s murderer and it’s what drives his whole narrative at this point. He also tends to inflict physical pain on himself a lot, and I don’t know whether it’s an attempt to recreate the shared pain he no longer can with his brother or a survivor’s guilt thing, but he’s definitely a sympathetic character.

You’re not the only one thinking Loveless here, though. I’m also absolutely expecting that the brother is alive.

MICHELLE: Alive and potentially culpable! This really does sound pretty neat, though. I do like a good mystery.

MELINDA: I’m certainly intrigued! So would you like to talk a bit about our mutual read this week?

MICHELLE: Sure!

Ran and the Gray World is a seven-volume seinen series by Aki Irie. In this first volume, we’re introduced to Ran, a headstrong fourth-grader, who lives with her father and older brother, Jin. Ran and Jin’s mother, Shizuka, doesn’t live with them because her presence is required elsewhere to keep a pair of mysterious giant doors from opening. She’s a Grand Sorceress and it soon becomes apparent that Ran, at least, has inherited her mother’s abilities (and impulsivity). I’m assuming Shizuka also gave her the sneakers, currently far too large, which allow her to transform into a teenage version of herself. For his part, Jin has a magic coat that allows him to transform into a wolf, perfect for tracking Ran when she goes off on ill-advised adventures.

Insisting she’s already grown-up, Ran dons the shoes and hitches a ride with strangers to go visit her mother and, inspired by a special lesson from her kindly science teacher, attempts to fly from the school roof. She has some success at the latter and winds up in the garden of a rich guy named Otaro, who doesn’t endear himself to me when he returns to his apartment building naked, exposing himself to a couple of kids in the lobby in the process. Jin rightly pegs him as fishy, and it’s clear by the end of the volume that he’s become obsessed with Ran. Despite declaring he’d never touch a kid—she’s in teenage form for the entirety of their acquaintance—he soon suggests they become more than friends. He’s a creep, and I’m so glad Ran whisks herself off when he embraces her (“I’m outta here!”) but I do worry about what lies ahead.

MELINDA: I love a lot of things about the premise, and the art is freaking gorgeous, which is what drew me to the book in the first place. I’m also pretty into what’s going on with Ran’s family dynamic, MAGIC (always a winner), and wow, her mom and brother are both absolutely fascinating characters with so much going on. But I am super creeped out by Otaro and worried about what’s going to happen there. It’s funny as someone from the Big generation, I suppose, that I’m so disturbed by a story in which a young girl is inhabiting a much older body. But at least in Big (and I suppose also in something like 13 Going On 30), the young character is at least at an age where they are already experiencing sexual attraction and an interest in romance, so it somehow didn’t feel quite so incredibly wrong as this does. So I’m worried about where this story is going to take Ran in that regard, but trying to be optimistic, I guess?

MICHELLE: Yeah. At the very least, she’s able to extricate herself from these kinds of situations when they arise, but I can’t say I have any faith that she’s going to get any more savvy any time soon.

Jin is hands-down my favorite character in the series. He’s like a Doumeki type or something. Knows that magic exists, but sensible. Looks dour, but actually kind. And so, I side with him where Shizuka is concerned, finding her to be profligate with her magic when she comes to their house. I mean, it looked like people genuinely had car accidents when she rained giant desserts down upon the town!

MELINDA: You have hit the nail on the head with Jin as the Doumeki type! And that explains why I like him so much, too. I always identify with the Watanuki characters, but I adore and crave a Doumeki for reasons that are probably obvious. Kind of ironic, isn’t it, that the loose canon character here shares her name with him. Shizuka is a terrifying mess and her power lets her get away with it, so I feel that we can count on her to provide plenty of conflict here. We don’t need the creepy dude!

MICHELLE: Definitely not. Perhaps she’ll do us all a favor and turn him into a turnip.

MELINDA: I could get behind that!

Despite my reservations about Otaro and where that storyline might lead, I am probably more excited and intrigued about this series than anything else we’ve discussed here today. It’s whimsical, original, filled with mysterious potential (what’s behind those doors??), and I can’t overstate how beautifully drawn it is. With the artwork alone, I’m besotted.

MICHELLE: I failed to say this the first time you mentioned the art, but I absolutely agree. There’s a certain retro, Moto Hagio-ish quality to it that’s very appealing.

MELINDA: Yes, it’s sort of Heart of Thomas meets Bride of the Water God, art wise—detailed and ornate, but also flowing, always in motion, like Ran’s personality. I’m definitely looking forward to more!

By: Melinda Beasi

[destimonde]

A [maybe not so] quick word on 13 Reasons Why

Okay. *takes deep breath, cracks knuckles* I generally don’t like drafting entire discourses about anything for the internet, particularly in this reigning era of online misinformation. However, I’ve been seeing a lot of strange backlash against the Netflix adaptation of Thirteen Reasons Why, and it’s struck a nerve, so here I am. (Also, saying this stuff on tumblr feels safer somehow than replying directly to comments on Facebook. I’m not necessarily asking you to agree with me, I’m just asking you to hear me out.)

Before I get to the nitty-gritty, a disclaimer: I first read Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why my freshman year of high school and loved it. I thought it described the ethos and pathos of teenagers pretty accurately, and the idea was so original and thought-provoking to me at the time. I’ll admit I might view this story with rose-tinted glasses, but even so, I think the criticism against the show has been exceptionally harsh. 

From what I’ve seen, 13 Reasons Why audiences have strong issues with Hannah - the girl who commits suicide before the start of the story, for those who don’t know. They argue that she is petty (for a myriad of reasons ranging from flirting too much/not telling protagonist Clay that she likes him, to making these tapes at all since they “blame” seemingly innocent kids), that she didn’t stand up for herself or take responsibility for her actions, and that she is utterly selfish in taking her own life without thinking about how that would affect her peers (I’ll let you chew on the irony of that for a moment). I’ve seen arguments that rail against Hannah for putting herself into difficult situations, for disobeying her parents, for never openly talking to anyone about how she was feeling... you get the idea. Of course, some of these accusations are true. There are many moments Hannah narrates in which she does not take responsibility when it would have been important for her to do so. She does break curfew rules and makes some questionable decisions. The issue here isn’t whether or not Hannah has done these things; it’s the rhetoric of “she did a bad thing/she flirted too much/she made a selfish decision, so she’s an inherently bad person and deserves what she gets” that terrifies me. Instead of opening dialogue about the issues raised in the episodes, instead of discussing what Hannah could or should have done as a learning opportunity, naysayers are focusing on minor character flaws and difficult situations as proof of the show’s ineptitude. In doing so, the criticism is proving, at least to me, that (just like nearly every other social issue) there is still so much bias and misinformation about mental health, particularly in young adults. 

I may be alone in this, but watching the show put me right back in the head-space of my teenage self. There are plenty of things the Netflix series gets wrong: heightened drama, intense focus on the supporting characters rather than their tapes or Hannah’s story, and some unnecessary parental conflict, to name a few. But one thing I think the show succeeds at is relaying the emotional experience of being a teenager in high school, and particularly what it feels like to think that you are utterly, completely ostracized in an environment which forces you to face the same people day in and day out for several years. 

At least, that was my experience in high school. Like Hannah, I felt inexplicably alone and unable to reach out to anyone. By my junior year, I had probably as many rumors and unwanted sexual attention circulating around me, even though I went straight home after school or rehearsals. (I never got invited to any parties, nor did I ever sneak out of my house, so I hope that at least shows you can be a “good kid” and still have these kinds of things happen to you). The heckling and whispers and rumors wore me down. I was already a melancholic kid, so it was all too easy for me to sink into a deep depression. Also like Hannah, I had a few close friends, but no one who was really willing to stick up for me - one of my best friends at the time openly chose to believe a rumor over what I was telling her. In fact, I tried in vain to tell as many people the truth as I could, and it didn’t help in the slightest. You can imagine that made it even harder for me to reach out. Before long, I genuinely believed that I didn’t matter, that if I suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth, no one would bat an eyelash. That made it easier for me to sink even deeper into myself, to avoid sharing how I truly felt. And for those who have not experienced this kind of intense depression during your teen years, you may not know that this way of thinking opens your psyche up to making all kinds of stupid decisions. What does it matter if you start to sneak away with boys in their cars, when you’re not worth anything anyway? How can math be that important when it pales in comparison to the sheer concentration it takes to ignore the people sneering behind your back? 

Hannah’s story is definitely much harsher than mine, but the feelings still feel very similar. Luckily, I understood the consequences of suicide, and could never imagine myself actually going through with something like that. It has taken me several years and a lot of mental effort just to dig myself out from that trench, and still I’m haunted by that time of my life when I think back on it. I think I have Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why to thank, actually. The book ultimately demonstrates that even the little things can affect great change in a person’s life. Empathy is a skill most teenagers don’t have just yet, but the novel begins to open that dialogue. I also think that it opened discussion generally about mental health and suicide for young adults in a direct, creative way, ultimately showing adolescent readers the tragedy up-close by having Hannah co-narrate with Clay. If I had not read Hannah’s story and seen myself in her, and if I had not had Clay’s reactions to it (clearly she was not just a blip in people’s lives) immediately following it, it would have been hard for me to grapple with such a daunting topic at that age. 

As for the show, I think it’s important to remember that it’s attempting to do the same work. It makes sense for the show, technically, to focus more on the cast of characters; but perhaps this is why I’ve seen so many arguments against Hannah and for the people on her tapes. The tapes, remember, are simply an engaging way to describe all of the “harmless” backstory leading up to Hannah’s final decision. This is where it’s important to recognize that the tapes are a device, not a “revenge fantasy”. And, by the way, Hannah never outwardly blames anyone on her tapes for her death. Her suicide is her decision. But she tells her side of the story in the only way she feels she can, and her story is just as valid as any of the other students’. What they do with that information, what decisions they make after receiving the tapes, are ultimately up to them. The guilt that they do or don’t feel doesn’t come from Hannah’s “petty” suicide note - it comes from the characters’ conscience. It serves as an example for viewers of how not to treat others, even if they think what they’re doing is harmless. In the case of the school counselor, it’s an example of how those in authoritative positions can sometimes also make mistakes, and proves that institutions need to change outdated or comfortable policies for people, particularly young girls, looking to them for help. 

Am I saying that Hannah is completely free of blame for her misdeeds? Of course not. Is it out of the realm of possibility that she witness something like sexual assault or a car accident and yet do nothing about it? Of course not. That’s the point, I think, of these moments in the plot. In reality, most people make these kinds of mistakes every day. It’s a dangerous mindset to say that Hannah deserved to die young because she was a fallible teenage girl with a lot left to learn about the world and herself. To the argument that the show (and book) promotes and glorifies suicide, I disagree; the book focused on Hannah’s story leading up to her death, shining a light on how teenagers treat each other. The show instead chooses to depict some of the scenes in an incredibly visceral way. But it’s all in order to ultimately point to the incredibly tragic and terrifying realities of suicide. I won’t even get into the backlash against her flirting or putting herself into “dangerous positions” - there is so much anti-feminist rhetoric and rape culture that need to be sifted through on that one. 

What I’m getting at is that although Hannah is a flawed character, that in no way makes her an evil person deserving of death. Criticizing her for keeping silent about her struggle and yet typing #goodriddance at the end of your rant has a real-life consequence. How can you expect people suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts to open up when the prevailing rhetoric tells them they are villains for feeling how they do, or because they are making mistakes, or because they can’t connect to the people around them? 13 Reasons Why is a highly dramatic form of visual storytelling for a real-life problem. If you can’t empathize with your adolescent self, at least recognize that your anger towards a fictional character won’t solve anything; it might actually hurt someone in a very real way, and perpetuate false stereotypes and ideologies of mental health.