#they do and the assumption that I'm going to be a parent or get married is like...urgh; I have been fundamentally misunderstood.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Maybe it's just the day today but idk what it is about finding out that people my age (or at least in my generation) have kids...on the one hand it's like, Aw, cute - kids, but on the other hand it's like Oh god that will NEVER BE ME [being a parent] AND I'M FINE WITH THAT BUT ALSO ?????? and I don't know what the '??????' means, except it kind of depresses me.

[unforth]

I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

[clarencethemouse]

Bleeding Light (pt. 1)

Nightcrawler x reader

because I'm feral and no one can stop me :)

This has been festering rotting in my brain for a week. This reads like a whole story (and a long one, because I have a lot of thoughts), but my brain spouts better as bullets. So it's bullets. But as a story. Enjoy :))

(also I totally may write out a proper story later. But you get the lore right now)

the Pining.

let it be known that it was mutual. And it was mutual for a Long Time

You were already with someone else when you two met. With his never-ending charm, wit, and kindness, it didn't take long for you to hit it off as good friends.

this soon became a close friendship, often closer emotionally than you were with your partner. You were a mutant, unbeknownst to your partner (out of shame). You trusted them, and they respected mutants, but by the time you gained the courage to tell them, you felt it was too late to risk losing their trust over such a crucial lie. So you maintained this front, masterfully, for over a year

with Kurt, you didn't feel the need to hide. He understood. With him, you could bond and relate life stories in ways you could never with your long-term partner.

it was soon that you began to realize your feelings for Kurt were stretching farther than any other friendship before. And that you liked Kurt more than you ever loved your partner

this tore you up, and you became wracked with guilt. You didn't know how to end it with your partner, though you knew it had to be done. You still loved and cherished the person you spent the last year with, but it wasn't fair to them

over the last several months you two had planned a future together. It was a critical time of your life to gain independence, move out of home, and start your own journeys of life. For so long, you wanted to start this new life with them. It wasn't so simple as breaking up. Their, and your, near future was built upon the assumption that you would marry, as you did love them.

but not as much as you liked Kurt.

Your choice was made when you finally sat down with them and revealed your mutation. One thin cut was made on your hand. Light poured from the skin, igniting both of your faces in shock and fear. As the white blood trickled down your palm, your partner demanded why. Why could you keep this from them? Why did you withhold such an important part of you for so long?

when you could provide no answer they deserved, they walked out.

with your future with them obliterated, you had nowhere to turn. Nowhere to go to escape the psychological torture (and emotional abuse) of your parents' failed marriage. When you turned to Kurt for a deep shoulder to cry on, he provided an answer. An answer he knew would be best for you, and cursed himself that he was more excited about what it could mean for him. The X-Mansion

it only took mere days before you packed everything of value and were stationed at the mansion. It didn't take long for Kurt to convince the professor to let you stay, at least for as long as it took you to get on your feet on your own (and he wanted you to stay because... reasons).

you were more than happy to suggest doing your part as a teacher for the school

settling into the flow of the school, and life so close to people just like you, was a struggle eased by Kurt. He was the new kid before, and just as he had Rogue, you had him.

soon you built your own social circle and support group of friends, fitting perfectly into the puzzle that is the X-Men family. Soon, you were able to grieve your lost love and move on with the world you were always meant for.

...it did not take long for everyone to notice the brighter smiles you offered Kurt. The glances you sent him after making your witty, slightly dirty comments. How he was the first person you sat with during movie night, resting your head on his shoulder as you both grew tired. How you distracted yourself during end-of-the-day classes, searching for him in the hall through the window in your classroom door. How he was the only one you didn't hide the blinding paper cuts and golden scraped knees from.

and it did not take long for everyone to notice the way his tail whipped more excitedly the instant you entered the room. The way he recalled you explaining your day so enthusiastically as if you were the brightest, most wise creature to grace the planet. The way he was always the first to appear by your side after a more gruesome training session, examining every inch of your visible body more thoroughly than Beast. The way when he would let you down after a piggyback ride, his smile faltered ever so slightly to stop touching you.

so Rogue and Gambit formed a plan. Because that's what good friends do

she worked on whittling you down to admit it to yourself. He was happy to encourage Kurt to take more forward action with you. Jubilee soon joined in the plan, and soon there was a whole network of friends conspiring to get you two together because GOD WE ALL SEE IT. THE STUDENTS SEE IT. THE PIGEONS SEE IT. CHARLES AND JEAN HAVE TO SEE IT IN YOUR MINDS EVERY DAMN DAY. GET A ROOM.

and it works

Rogue got it out of you quickly. She was able to help you sort out your feelings and stop feeling so guilty about the past. You did what had to be done, and you never would have been truly happy with your old partner living a life of lies. But you can't lie to Kurt. He knew you deeper than anyone without even trying, and you wished to God he could know you a little better.

it took a month before Gambit was finally able to convince Kurt that you were struggling just the same. Because as much as the man flirted, teased, and worked himself into our attention by any means possible, he could not shake the dreaded pit feeling that you were still someone else's. You were still just out of his reach, and he would never know the feeling of your beautiful lips; your hands beyond high fives and thumb wrestling matches. Never have the honor to show the world everything he wished he could have with you

Kurt met you on the mansion roof. You were minding your business; reading a book and playing with light over the shadows. You didn't want to come inside. And if you were on the roof, that's where Kurt was gonna make himself comfortable. He would hang by the cell tower by just his tail if it meant you would talk to him. Anything if it meant he could tell you the truth.

it started with you looking over at him in a moment of silence, when you truly had no inclination to think he was there with any ulterior motive. Just one thought on the tip of your tongue

"You're so beautiful."

kurt.exe has stopped working

neither of you left the roof. The night wrapped with your head on his chest and his hand in your hair, him wondering where the absolute Hell it all went wrong.

you did wake up around 2 a.m. Sitting up abruptly at the surprise of your position, you were met with Kurt's golden eyes already awake and on you. No one beyond you two knows what happened on the roof that night, but your relationship changed. No more hiding.

when you returned to your lives the next morning, the others didn't need to be told that the mission was successful. Your smiles and bright eyes shared the whole story

[dreamofbecoming]

more stobin nonsense from your resident trash goblin. feat. shitty harrington parents, lavender marriage, full party found family shenanigans, steddie flirting, steve&will bonding, and a severe lack of dialogue tags

rating: t wc: 5k ao3

“I knew it!”

Steve sighs. Listen, he knew the minute he opened his mouth that this was coming. There was always a zero percent chance Dustin was ever gonna let him get out the whole thing before bursting in with this exact interruption, but that doesn’t make it less annoying. If the little shithead would just let him finish--

"I knew you were perfect together, I can't believe you didn't tell us you were dating! How long have you been a thing? I have money to collect! Can I be your best man? Never mind, obviously I'm gonna be your best man. You so owe me for not telling me sooner! I cannot believe-"

"Henderson!"

"What?"

"We're not together like that."

In fairness, Dustin is not the only one to give them an incredulous look for that one.

"Steve. You literally just announced you and Robin are getting married. What is even the point of pretending you're not in love anymore? What are you still trying to prove? Just admit I was right the whole time!"

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and forces himself to take a deep breath, instead of wringing Dustin's weird little boneless neck. It's not his fault, he reminds himself. They haven't gotten to the second part of the announcement, so his assumptions are natural.

Now, it is Henderson's fault that they haven't managed to say the rest of what they came here to say, so maybe he can keep blaming him after all.

"Do you remember when we sat down and we asked you guys to let us say everything we were gonna say without interrupting?"

"Uh, yeah dude, it was like ten minutes ago. We're not stupid."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe we weren't done saying everything we were gonna say, considering I was halfway through a sentence when you jumped in?"

"I mean, I guess, but like, it's pretty obvious where you're going with this, Steve. You're not a complicated guy, no offense. Now, where did we land on the best man issue?"

Nancy must see the offense very much taken on his face, because before he can open his mouth and say something probably horrifically rude that would feel amazing in the moment and which he would immediately regret, she jumps to his rescue.

"Dustin, you're being very rude. Steve and Robin came here to talk to us, and we promised to listen. Let them finish."

It's nice of her to back Steve up, considering how weird this conversation must be for her. Hopefully it gets less awkward soon.

Henderson grumbles mutinously, but years of dealing with first Mike and then the rest of the little dickheads have left Nancy's control ironclad, and he waves sarcastically for Steve to continue.

This kid is spending too much time with Eddie, the attitude is getting out of hand.

"Right. Thanks, Nance. As I was saying, Robin and I are getting married, yes. But not because we're in love. I mean, I love her, obviously, but as a friend. Only a friend. Or, well, I guess a friend and soon a...friend...wife? Frife? Wend? You guys get it."

"We very much don't." Alright, well, fine, add Max to the shitlist.

He looks over at Robin, hoping for help, but she's stiff as a board and trembling all over.

He doesn't want to be the one to say the words for her. They agreed together to tell everyone the truth, it was her idea even, but the last thing he wants to do is steal that moment from her.

Maybe he can just…talk around it, until she feels up to it. And if not, he’ll just tell them his part of it and call it good.

“We’re getting lavender married.”

Okay, so that’s probably not like. A normal way to say that or whatever. Robin just used that term like fifty times last night, alright? She was really excited about the article she just read about it, something about how it was a thing in, like, olden times or whatever, and now it’s coming back because Reagan is a fucking tool, Steve’s not sure, he was only kind of listening. Regardless, now it’s stuck in his head. Sue him or whatever, geez.

Anyway, he isn’t sure how many people in this room will actually understand what that means, but Nancy’s mouth drops open in a perfect little O the way it only does when she’s genuinely surprised by something, and there’s a tiny gasp from over by the table that he thinks might have come from Will, and Max mutters to herself “Oh shit, that explains so much,” so it’s not none of them, which helps. No pitchforks yet, at least.

Jonathan is eyeing him speculatively, and Argyle is offering him an enthusiastic thumbs up, which is nice.

Unfortunately, the other boys and El are giving him blank, expectant stares, and Erica is eyeing him with both confusion and annoyance, so it looks like he still has some explaining to do.

“What the hell does your color scheme have to do with this? I’m not helping plan the wedding, dude, I don’t care that much.”

Steve mumbles a “Language,” on reflex, but his heart isn’t in it. This is somehow more nerve-wracking than evil Russians.

“Mike, that’s not what it means. Now shut up and listen, or I’ll tell Mom how that red sock ended up in her load of white delicates.”

“Oh come on, she’ll kill me!” When all he gets in return is a single raised eyebrow, he groans and slumps further into his seat, glaring at Steve.

“Right. Okay. So basically, last night, my parents--”

“I’m a lesbian!”

There’s a beat of dead silence, which in this group is more unsettling than just about anything else.

Steve keeps his eyes on Robin, who looks just about as shocked at her own outburst as everyone else in the room. He takes her hand, squeezing gently until she unfreezes a little and looks back over at him. She looks terrified, and it breaks his heart a little.

“You okay, babe?” He keeps his voice low, murmuring just loud enough for her to hear. He knows this moment is the opposite of private, but she needs him to pretend for a second, so that’s what he’s gonna do.

She nods, a little jerkily, but she grips his hand back and intentionally evens out her breathing. She’s so fucking brave. He would burn the world down for Robin Buckley, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

He can’t believe she’s willing to do this for him, but he’s so grateful he feels like he’s choking on it.

“Henderdork will literally never shut up and let you live it down if we do this and he doesn’t know the truth. Not even for a single second for the rest of forever, and I, for one, am not putting up with that shit until death or legal marriage reforms do us part, Dingus.”

It was a solid point last night when they came up with the plan, curled on her bed while she stroked his hair and generously pretended he hadn’t soaked the shoulder of her shirt with his sobs, all his worldly possessions packed into a duffel on her bedroom floor, but he knows her insistence was more about knowing how much he hates lying to the kids than it was about protecting herself from irritating teenagers.

He doesn’t think there’s enough room on the whole planet to hold all the love he feels for her, even if you count the Upside Down and any other weirdo dimensions floating around out there waiting to ruin his day.

“I’m okay, bubba. Don’t let go?” Her hand is shaking in his, but he just squeezes harder.

“Never.” He turns back to the room, eyes hard as he scans the faces of their family for any hostility. He wouldn’t have agreed to this part of the plan if he thought any of them would be a problem, but he’s not taking anything for granted with Robbie’s safety. Not now, not ever. "Everyone's gonna be cool about that, right?"

"Of course we are, right, guys?" From the pained grunt that follows her words, Steve assumes Max has dug her elbow into Mike's ribs.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"I suppose this makes you slightly less lame, Buckley. It's definitely better than when I thought you liked this loser." Wow, okay, thank you Erica.

"Yeah totally! Thanks for trusting us, Robin." Lucas is a sweetheart, he really is. He's also glancing surreptitiously at Will while he nods enthusiastically, who is still staring open-mouthed at Robin with wide, shiny eyes.

"Yes, thank you for trusting us, Robin." Nancy is smiling kindly, but she's got that glint in her eye that Steve knows means she just came up with more questions and is waiting for the right moment to strike. Fair enough, at least she's letting Robs have her moment first.

He finally drags his eyes back to Dustin, who he doesn't really want to admit, even to himself, he's a little worried about. Not that he'll be shitty about it, necessarily, but there's nothing that brings out Henderson's bitchy side like being wrong, and he's been so fucking wrong this entire time. It's bound to upset him.

And maybe Steve will never say this out loud where the other kids might hear, but the truth is that Dustin's opinion matters to him more than just about everyone else's. Dustin was the first person in the whole world who saw Steve, the real Steve, and decided he was worth keeping around. If Henderson can't accept this part of Robin, it means he can't accept this part of Steve, and if that happens...if that happens Steve isn't sure he'll be able to come back from it.

So he's...not worried, okay? Worried is not the right word. Anxious, maybe. Concerned.

Okay fine fuck off he's worried.

Dustin...looks like he's about to cry. Shit.

"Did you think you couldn't trust me?" His voice is so small. Steve doesn't think he's ever heard it so small. It feels wrong. Henderson's voice should fill every room he's in, always. "You didn't have to lie. You could have told me the truth."

Aw, fuck.

"Buddy,--"

"It's not that simple, little man."

Steve whips back around to look at Robin. Are you sure you’re up for this? She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. Yeah, Dingus, this is my mess. Let me clean it up. Put the lance down, White Knight. Well, alright then. He waves for her to continue, ignoring the looks the others always shoot them when they do their silent conversation thing. Not his fault they can’t read each other as well, it’s not like it’s hard.

"Before today, Steve was the only person in the world who knew about me. And honestly, I don't know if I would have told him if we weren't both coming off torture and truth serum. I've worked hard to hide it my whole life, baby Dingus, that's not an easy thing to stop doing. It's scary."

"But we're your friends. We're your family! We saved the world together! You should trust your family, right?"

Aw, jeez. Steve forgets, sometimes, how young they are. They've been through horrific supernatural trauma, but they're still the kind of kids who think life is a story with a happy ending, like their little dragon game.

"Yeah, bud, you should, but it's not always that easy. There can be really serious consequences for telling the wrong person. Like, last night my parents found out I'm bisexual by accident and now I...well. Now I don't have parents anymore." Oof, okay, little blunter than he meant to be, but Robbie's getting anxious again so he has to take the focus back.

There's an eruption of sound, as every voice in the Party starts shouting all at once, turning the Wheeler's basement into Steve's own personal migraine generator.

"Did they kick you out?"

"You're bisexual?!"

"What's bisexual?"

"They can't just do that!"

"Does this mean we have to find somewhere else for Hellfire nights?"

That last one earns Erica several Looks, but she doesn't flinch. "What? I'm just being practical."

He wishes Eddie was here. The gremlins actually listen to him, unlike Steve, on account of as their Hellfire DM, he has leverage they care about to threaten them with. Well, most of them, but it's definitely a help when he's around.

Sadly he and Wayne are at some kind of Munson family reunion down in West Virginia this week, so Steve is gonna have to do this whole spiel over again when he gets back. He and Robin thought about waiting until he got back and the whole Party could be together, but the kids would definitely notice him not living in Loch Nora anymore pretty much immediately. And Steve hates the idea of telling him over the phone, so double coming out/engagement announcement it is.

"Alright, Jesus Christ, enough! One at a goddamn time, you animals."

He looks back at Dustin, who's definitely crying now. "Yeah, buddy, they kicked me out, but I'm okay. I'm staying with the Buckleys for now, and Rob and I have been saving up to move in together soon anyway, so all this did is move up our timeline. I'm safe and I'm fine, okay? I promise."

Dustin plasters himself to Steve's front, squeezing like he's worried Steve is going to shatter into pieces and he can hold him together by sheer force of will. It's very sweet, even if it's crushing his lungs a little.

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me." The words are muffled in Steve's chest, he's not sure anyone else heard him.

"Aw, kid, it's okay. I trust you, alright? Always. You die, I die, remember? I was just...figuring my shit out, that's all."

"Your parents are mouthbreathers." Steve chuckles a little at the mutinous glare on El's face, not pausing his hand where he's stroking Dustin's hair.

"You're not wrong, Supergirl. But it's fine, honestly. They've always been dicks, I've been planning to move out for a long time. They just...gave me the final push, is all." He's definitely leaving out the part where he broke down sobbing in Robbie's bed last night, asking her over and over why he was so broken that his own parents couldn't love him, but the kids don't need to hear that part of the story.

"Does this have something to do with your whirlwind engagement?" There she is, ace reporter Nancy Wheeler. Observant as always.

"Yeah, pretty much. They disinherited me, but they're still legally my next of kin."

"And Dingus has had far too much head trauma for me to trust he's not gonna end up back in the hospital for something at some point, and the last thing we need is Mr. and Mrs. von Child Neglect getting that call. And I was just reading about gay men and women who are marrying each other so they can have someone allowed in to see in them in the hospital, because of the virus, you know? And I thought, hey that's not a half bad idea! We're gonna be living together anyway, and it's not like I'm marrying anyone else, and it'll be good for both of us to have someone who knows about, y'know, monsters and all that jazz, to do our power of attorney stuff, so, voila! Mr. and Mrs. Bucklington!"

"We are not changing our name to Bucklington."

"Well Harringley is worse, so suck it up, buttercup."

"I'm not interested in keeping the Harrington name, Bobs, I'd rather just be a Buckley."

"Aw, bubba, you're gonna make me cry!"

"You should both become Hendersons! Then we'd really be brothers!"

Steve erupts into laughter, the tension effectively broken by Dustin's wide, toothy grin. "What d'ya say, Bobbie? Steve and Robin Henderson?"

"Would we get access to Claudia's lasagna recipe? Because if so, I'm behind this plan one hundred percent.”

"By 'we' you do mean me, right? Because I love you more than life, Bobs, but I'm not letting you anywhere near a casserole dish. I've learned that lesson."

"It was one time!"

"It took me three days to get all the cheese off the ceiling! There's still a stain!"

"Well good! Ceiling grease stains can be the Harrington's problem now, anyway. They deserve it!"

Argyle is nodding sagely from on top of the incredibly deflated bean bag he's sharing with Jonathan. "I do like Bucklington, it makes you sound like a fancy butler. But family is important, brochachos, and so is lasagna. I vote Henderson."

This spurs impassioned arguments from all corners, which Steve is more than happy to relax into the couch cushions and let wash over him.

There's a light, bubbly feeling in his chest. For the first time since his dad walked in unannounced yesterday, interrupting his phone call with Robin at the worst possible moment, the knot of fear and grief in his stomach starts to loosen.

Robin smiles at him, and he grins helplessly back. Who needs parents when he's got a soulmate? They're together, they're safe, they're surrounded by their family. Steve holds Dustin tighter to his side and lets himself feel loved.

He takes advantage of a lull in the Last Name Wars to get out the last of the speech he'd planned. "Anyway, we decided to tell all of you the truth when we came up with this plan last night, because we do trust you and we didn't want to lie to you, and also because we knew you shitheads would never shut up about us being in love if we didn't and that sounded awful."

He laughs delightedly at the chorus of indignant outbursts this gets him before continuing.

"It's really important that you don't tell anyone outside the Party the truth, alright? We're gonna tell Eddie when he gets back, and we might tell Joyce and Hop eventually, but that needs to be our choice to do. You can't do it for us, and you absolutely can't tell anyone else. The whole point of this is to keep us safe by keeping people from finding out the truth, okay?"

El looks vaguely uncomfortable, but not upset. "Will you tell my Dad soon?"

Steve glances at Robbie, who's looking anxious again, and then over at Will. His shoulders are tense, hunched up around his ears, and he's staring intently at the table in front of him.

Steve isn't sure if anyone else knows what he thinks he knows about Will, but he's pretty sure he recognizes the specific flavor of isolation he can see Will struggling with sometimes, and he's definitely sure he recognizes the looks Will shoots at Mike whenever Wheeler isn't looking. Tommy used to look at him like that.

Either way, he knows the kind of fear the kid must be suffering, just like he knows how terrifying today was for Robin. For Steve, the worst case scenario has already happened, so he has a lot less left to lose. He can afford to smooth the way a little, to test the waters and make sure they're safe for everyone else.

It's not that different from his normal role in this group anyway, just a different kind of monster. He's always been good at taking hits so the others don't have to-- this is just another threat to step in front of.

"Tell you what, Ellie, I'll talk to Hop and Joyce this weekend, that way you won't have to keep secrets from him for too long. I'll just tell him about me, though, at first, okay? That way we'll know if it's safe for Robbie." Or anyone else, he doesn't say.

Jonathan hears it, at the very least, and shoots him a look that's equal parts surprised and grateful. Maybe Will has someone else in his corner after all, then.

El nods happily, satisfied with that.

Before anyone else can jump in, there's a clattering on the basement stairs. None of them have time to tense up too badly before the door bursts open and Eddie comes tumbling through it in a flurry of dark curls and frayed denim.

"Fear not, my wayward wastrels, for I have returned from far off lands, bearing tidings and the promise of libations!"

Steve only recognizes, like, four of those words, but seeing Eddie gives him the same happy, fizzy feeling in his gut that it always does these days, so he grins.

"You're back early, Eds, everything ok?"

Eddie blinks at him, then around the room, looking surprised to see it so packed.

"Yeah, my cousin Clarence accidentally broke my MeeMaw's pasture fencing and set all the goats loose in the hills, and if we stuck around we were gonna have to help round them back up, so Wayne and I snuck out early. I was coming to invite the gremlins out for pizza to tell you all about it, but this is more people than I was expecting. Y'all having a family meeting? Without little old moi?"

Steve valiantly suppresses the shiver that the twang in Eddie's voice triggers. Steve's not sure if Eddie notices the way his accent gets stronger when he's been talking to family, but he's had to work very hard to make sure he doesn't notice the way it affects Steve.

Steve has barely tested the flirting waters with Eddie since admitting his crush to Robin, he's definitely not jumping right in with 'It makes me tingly all over when you start talking with a drawl, wanna call me darlin' and see what happens?'

Luckily Bobbie notices his inner struggle and comes to his rescue.

"It was kind of a time sensitive issue- not a life or death one! Or like. Not a monster one, anyway. But shit went down last night and we needed to brief everyone before the geek squad figured out something was funky and came beating down the door. Steve wanted to tell you in person so we were gonna wait til you got back, but here you are!"

Eddie's looking at Robin with an amused smile on his face, one eyebrow raised and his lips quirked in a lopsided grin that is, frankly, unreasonably attractive. "Here I am indeed, my fair Lady of Feathers. So what's the scoop?"

He plops down next to Jonathan and Argyle on the beanbags, nearly sending them all toppling before Argyle hooks both of them around the waists and drags them practically into his lap.

Steve is not seething with jealousy. He's not.

A half a dozen voices chime out all at once.

"Robin's gay!"

"Steve's homeless."

"Robin and Steve are getting married!"

“Purple married.”

“It’s lavender, dummy.”

“Lavender’s a kind of purple!”

"They're gonna be Hendersons!"

"No they aren't, weirdo, they're gonna be Buckleys."

"Bucklington is clearly the superior choice, even if Argyle was right about the butler thing."

“Bucklington my ass, y’all dumb as hell if you think Mom and Dad aren’t gonna try and make him a Sinclair after this.”

"Mama and Papa Harrington didn't like that Stevie boy has double the love to give. Totally bogus. Bi bros for life, man."

"I still call Steve's best man!"

Eddie blinks a little when everyone quiets down, looking vaguely shellshocked. "That was. A lot of information to get in thirty seconds."

And, listen, Steve is like, 97% sure Eddie's cool. More than cool, even. He moves that bandana to the same pocket every time he changes his jeans, no matter what outfit he's wearing. There's no way that's an accident. But if Steve is being totally honest, which he's trying to do more these days, at least inside his own brain, this is maybe not the way he'd have chosen to come out to his crush. It's somehow way more nerve-wracking when he didn't even get to say it himself.

Oh well, it's out there now. It's fine, probably.

Still, there’s a definite feeling of relief when Eddie turns that megawatt grin on him again.

"Man, I wish I'd known there were other queers in Hawkins, I might have listened sooner when Henderson told me how cool you guys were!"

Steve laughs, only a little hysterically. "Dude, if you thought you were the only one, what the hell have you been wearing that hanky for? Who are you hoping will see it?"

It's a little gratifying to see Eddie go flaming tomato red in seconds. "I am not talking about that in mixed company, Steven. There are children here!"

"Ugh, we're literally teenagers."

"Tiny baby infants! If you're so curious, you can ask me again later."

"Promise?" Steve can't stop himself from grinning wolfishly.

Eddie tugs his hair in front of his face to hide, and the frantic little giggle and the quiet "Oh my god," he lets out both sound more than a little strangled. Steve's having the time of his life right now.

"Gross." Ugh, rude. He glares at Robin for ruining his fun. She sticks her tongue out at him.

Before they can devolve into the inevitable slapfight, Nancy cuts in again.

"Alright, unless anyone else has anything to share in private, I think we should take Eddie's suggestion and get something to eat." Good thinking, Nance. "To celebrate the happy couple, of course," she adds with a smirk. Yeah, that makes more sense.

"Onward then, my noble companions, to pizza and to paradise!" Eddie vaults off the beanbag, sending Jonathan and Argyle tumbling. Argyle laughs and accepts Eddie's hand up, while Jonathan just rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

Eddie slings an arm around Robin's shoulders as they head for the basement door. "So, Birdie, what's this I hear about a wedding? I need context."

As the kids go thundering up the stairs, arguing about who gets to drive in which car, Steve lingers. He noticed Will hanging back from the others, and now they're the last ones left, Will still slowly packing up the pens and notebooks he seems to carry around with him everywhere. Jonathan is hovering anxiously in the doorway, so Steve sends him a nod and waves him off. He's got this.

"You ready to go, kid?"

Will fidgets with the zipper on his bag for another few seconds before looking up at Steve through his, frankly tragic, fringe. "I'm sorry your parents suck."

"Yeah, man, me too." Steve shoots him a wry little smile. "It's alright though, sometimes we're better off without them. I've got plenty of family here that love me, I'll survive without Richard and Diane."

Will studies him for a minute. Steve's not sure what he's looking for, but he hopes he finds it.

"That's what Jonathan says about Lonnie." Steve nods, trying not to wince at the memory of the things he spat at Jonathan that day in '83 when everything changed. "I used to think it was my fault he left, but Jonathan says he was just a bastard, and it's better he's gone anyway."

"I didn't know Lonnie," he's careful not to say your dad, "but from what I've heard, Jonathan's probably right. And he's definitely right that it's not your fault."

"Like it's not your fault your parents kicked you out?"

"Yeah, exactly like that. If it was my fault, that would mean I did something wrong. The only thing I did was exist, and be different than they thought I would be. If they can't love the kid they had, then they shouldn't have had a kid at all. That's their problem, not mine. There's nothing wrong with me."

It doesn't matter if he heard all of these things from Robin first, if he's still trying to learn to believe them. Will needs to hear them like they're true, the same way Steve does.

"Are you sure?" Will's voice is trembling now. He's looking at the floor, but Steve can tell there are tears coming. "How can you be sure this is how you're supposed to be? Wouldn't you rather be normal?"

Oh, kid. "I mean, yeah, maybe it would be easier if I only liked girls, but I don't. I tried for a long time to pretend that I did, but it didn't make it true. And yeah, part of me wants to hate myself, because that's what they taught me to think, and I still kinda wish doing that would make them love me, but it won't. But honestly, you wanna know the biggest thing?" Will nods.

"I can't hate that part of myself without hating Robin, and there's no universe where I could hate Robin. Robin's perfect. She's the best person in the world, and she's gay, so being gay can't be bad. It's impossible. So whenever that voice in my head starts saying shitty things to me, I just think about how much I love Robin and tell it to shut up."

There's a beat where Will seems to be absorbing this.

"How did you know it would be safe? To tell us the truth?"

"I didn't."

Will stares at him in shock.

"Not a hundred percent, anyway. I was pretty sure, but it's never a guarantee with stuff like this, you know? But the other option was never telling anyone, and that...it gets tiring, you know? Always having to hide. Always having to check yourself. Lying when people ask the wrong questions. It wears you down. And I've fought monsters with you guys. I've been tortured by spies with you guys. If I can't trust this group to have my back, I can't trust anyone, can I? And I didn't want to live a life of not trusting anyone. I didn't want Bobbie to live a life like that. So, we took a chance. And it paid off, because all of you are the people we thought you were, and we were right to trust you. But it was a leap of faith, dude. It always is."

"What if I'm not ready?" Fucking shit, this kid. He's been through more than any of them, except maybe El, and he's still so goddamn brave. Steve would have crumpled like a tin can in his place.

"Then you're not ready. It's not a test, Will. There's no right or wrong answers. But I will say that every single person out there loves you, and they'll keep loving you no matter what you do. They're not like my parents, or Lonnie. Our friends aren't broken inside the way they are. Their love isn't conditional. You won't chase them away. You couldn't if you tried."

Will lets out a shaky breath, clearly fighting back tears. Steve leans against the table and keeps his head down, offering the kid the illusion of privacy while he pulls himself together. After a few minutes he speaks up again.

"You ready to go, you think?"

Will nods. He goes to walk past Steve to the stairs before hesitating and, to Steve's surprise, wrapping his gangly arms around him in an awkward hug.

"Thanks, Steve," he mumbles into Steve's shoulder.

Steve runs a hand down his back uncertainly. "Anytime, kid."

He keeps his arm around Will's shoulders tentative, but when the kid doesn't shrug him off or move away, he lets it settle more firmly, tugging him closer.

“Come on Baby Byers, let's go get some pizza. You think I can milk the disownment thing to get Eddie to pay for extra toppings?"

Will snorts. "I think Eddie would pay for as many toppings as you want as long as you do that little eyelash thing at him again."

Steve throws his head back and laughs, long and loud from his belly. Yeah, it's gonna be a good night.

my head hurts too much to keep writing this but please know that the pizza parlor engagement party involves plenty of arguing about roles in the wedding party, resulting in MOH erica/best man dustin (scoops troop babeyy), flower girl team lumax (max demanded the role bc her wheelchair means she can carry extra baskets of petals, and lucas will be pushing the chair so her hands are free. he's just excited to be there.) nancy/el bridesmaids and byler groomsmen (mike grumbles and groans but he's secretly thrilled). jonathan does the pictures and it turns out argyle got ordained back in cali as a joke so he officiates. eddie plays crimson and clover for robin’s wedding march. there’s a bit of a kerfuffle when claudia and the sinclairs both try to claim steve as their son, but after someone makes the argument that charles and sue have two kids to carry their name while claudia only has one, they end up hyphenating and becoming the buckley-hendersons. yes, claudia cries. yes, they get the lasagna recipe.

(at the pizza place, eddie asks what his role will be and steve says he doesn't know yet, but he'll save him a dance regardless. eddie has to hide in the bathroom to stop blushing.)

[dezznuggz]

The Parents Of the Friend Group |PART 2

Steve Harrington × reader

~moments where you and Steve do in fact argue like a married couple and moments where it clearly shows and proves how Steve is the mom and you are the dad.

Warning: mentions of the upside down, mentions of S2, S3, S4. A little emotional at the end, still slight bullying of Steve, mentions of possible death, use of y/n, reader pronouns she/her

------------------------------∆-----------------------------

Fall of 1984:

Your plan was to go on a date with some new guy and go home debating whether or not 'he could be the one' but your plans drastically changed when an anxious Dustin bangs on your door like a maniac. "Y/N! OPEN UP! HURRY! OPEN UP!" was the noise you kept hearing on the other side of your door that caused you to rush out of worry and swing open the door for the frantic kid. "OH MY GOD, what? What is it?" You say in a little annoyed tone but also in a little bit of a relief seeing that at least one of your many kids isn't hurt.

"We gotta go, fast and NOW!" Dustin practically screams at you before dragging you by your arm and out of your house. "Woah dude I can't, I have a date. He's already on his way" you say trying to resist and pull away from Dustin's hold, "I'm telling you right now y/n your plans can wait cause this is 10× more important than you making out with some guy" Dustin says still not letting go of you and dragging you out of your front porch. Dustin then halts in his tracks, "wait a date? I thought you and Steve had a thing going on?" Dustin says with a little bit of a disappointed tone, "what NO, never, we never and WILL never have a thing going on are you kidding!" You say trying to defend yourself from the stupid assumption that Dustin made about you and Steve. "Are you sure, cause every time I'm with y'all, you guys won't stop giving each other googly eyes" Dustin says which caused you to set your arm free and walk away, "you know what Dustin, call steve for this one, I already have plans and they're not going to be destroyed cause of some stupid joke you wanna pull on me!" You say loud enough for Dustin to hear as you walk off and head towards your house. "Okay okay I'm sorry but this is really important I won't say anything bad again" Dustin apologizes and pleads for you to come with him, "I don't wanna hear anything that will annoy me come out of your mouth do you understand me?" You say as you point a finger at his face, "yes I understand" Dustin says quietly, "I'm sorry what'd you say?" You say as you purposely try to prove a point that you're the one that's in control right now.

"I said I understand y/n now can we get going" Dustin whines and begs so you just let him grab your wrist and lead you to wherever you need to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here you were standing behind Dustin with an annoyed face and crossed arms, "son of a bitch, you know you're really no help" Dustin says in an annoyed and frustrated tone as he walks off which left me standing in front of mr.wheeler, "you outta put soap in that boys mouth, he's too young to be using that typa language" he says as he points a disciplined finger at you, "wont happen again i swear, its just he gets it from his mother" you say politely as you also walk off and follow Dustin.

"are those for Mr and ms.wheeler?"

No?- HEY!"

You heard Dustin and Steve talking but then Steve goes quiet as he sees you not so far behind Dustin, "what is she doing here? And why are you wearing a skirt?" Steve asks as he points at you and looks you up and down, "I don't know what I'm doing here, he just dragged me along" you say while raising your arms and dropping them dramatically. "Do you still have the bat?" Dustin asks Steve which causes Steve to break his stare from you in a skirt, "what bat?" Steve asks still trying to process what's going on, "the one with the nails Steve!?" Dustin says as he gets frustrated at Steve for being slow. "Ye-yeah I have it, it's in the trunk, what do you need it for?" Steve asks as he slowly catches on to Dustin's attitude and he's not liking any bit of it. "I'll explain everything in the car, HURRY UP!" Dustin says growing even more frustrated at Steve's slow movements, "okay Jesus dude, wait hey get in the back" Steve stops Dustin before he can sit in the front, "wha-?" Dustin gets cut off by a hand pulling his shoulder, "you heard him now get in the back" you say as you push him aside and sit in the front seat but not without hearing Dustin grumble about something.

After Dustin explains what he needs us for, he also gets in a little argument with Steve for not believing him, "how do I know it's not a lizard?"

"yeah how do you know it's not a lizard?!"

"because it's face opens up and ate my cat!!" Dustin says loudly which causes you and Steve to go quiet not knowing what to exactly say to that. The silence gets too much for you so you decided to break it, "what were you doing at the wheelers with flowers?" You ask Steve while looking at him, "umm...I don't even know man" Steve says while avoiding eyes contact but you can read and see through Steve, you know he's lying, "don't tell me they're for Nancy" you say and the only response you got back was a quiet sigh, "oh dude I told you not to apologize to her, it's gonna make everything worse" you complain to Steve for his actions, "okay I'm sorry but one simple apology wouldn't hurt you know and I was a little bit of in the wrong!" Steve says while trying to defend himself, "except it might hurt", you say and although it does sound a little harsh, it's the only way that your words are able to go through Steve's small little brain. "Okay alright I get it but why are you in a skirt?" Steve asks in need of changing the subject so he doesn't look stupid in front of Dustin. "Oh um....I had a date" you say hesitantly, "oh really with who?" Steve asks wanting to know who the 'lucky guy' was, "...um... Aiden.." you say quietly but not quite enough for Steve to not hear, "AIDEN?! The one I play basketball with!?" Steve says very loudly just for clarification. "Yea but he seemed really nice and he was gonna pay for dinner tonight so I couldn't say no" you say trying to calm Steve down.

"oh my God that dudes a total meat head, Aiden T, we're talking about Aiden T right? The one that chews with his mouth open. THAT'S THE ONE YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH?!" Steve yells as he tries to make a point that Aiden just isn't the right guy, "yes Steve that Aiden and he doesn't chew with his mouth open, he just chews loudly" you say mostly to not change your perspective of Aiden, "he's nice to every girl, trust me when I say this but he's just not the guy that you think he is"

"Jesus Steve you're just saying that because you had beef with him in like 7th grade, you're gonna have to get over it you know"

"that is not the reason I don't want you going out with him okay, first of all he only washes his hair once a week and second he doesn't brush his teeth, all he eats is mint gum."

"blah blah blah, Steve I can't hear you!" You say as you try to end the argument with Steve. Aiden might not be the ideal guy but it would atleast be fun to just play with him you know. With you making noises to block out Steve and Steve trying to talk over your noises it has Dustin let out his opinion, "I thought you guys liked each other" Dustin says loud enough for you and Steve to go quiet, "omg not again." You let out a groan and roll your eyes, "what not again, what are you talking about Dustin?" Steve asks now wanting to know why it causes you with such a dramatic reaction. "I'm just saying..." ,

"Dustin don't say it-"

"I thought you guys liked each other or something I don't know" Dustin says while completely ignoring your attempts to stop him from letting out his opinion. "That's so stupid henderson you know that" Steve says which causes Dustin wanting to prove his point more, "it's not stupid actually, I mean everyone thought you guys liked each other. Steve is always protective with you, y/n and she always defends you when you're not around. " Dustin once again had everyone in the car go quiet, Steve kept looking over at you to see your reaction but it's kinda hard to read your facial expression if you're covering your whole face out of embarrassment.

------------------------------∆------------------------------

Summer of 1985:

Dustin has practically called himself the match maker. With the conversation that you, Dustin, and Steve had back in fall, it kinda made you and Steve snap into the fact that you guys in fact like each other. Now with you and Steve together, you guys became inseparable. The kids found it cute for only a short time period until they kept walking in on you and Steve having alone time. Sometimes the kids would cockblock and join in on y'all's dates or sometimes they would call out of nowhere and ask for a pick up or drop off.

With Steve now working as an ice cream scooper at the new mall that just opened up, it was better for the kids to get through the movies without paying and today was one of those days. "Have a nice day" Steve calls out to the mom and her kid that just ordered ice cream before zooming to the back of the shop and telling Robin it's her break time. "Robin your turn to be up front I'm on break" Steve says frantically as he collapse his lips on your, "aw dude let me get out before you start making out..gross" Robin says as she walks out with a disgusted face.

"I missed you so much"

"you saw me an hour ago"

"I know, tell me about it" Steve says as he kisses all over your face which causes you to giggle and before Steve can kiss you on the lips again, y'all get disturbed by the sound of the bell on the front desk running non-stop. "Hey dinguses, your children are here" Robin calls out from the front also annoyed by the constant ringing of a bell. "Again seriously?" Steve says as he opens the little window of the shop to see the kids, "hi kids", you say in a cheery tone while popping your head out from behind Steve. You then open the back door for the kids to pass by and they all say hi to you before Mike makes a joke about your lipstick being smeared. "If anyone finds out-"

"we're dead!" The kids cut Steve off cause this isn't the first time that Steve tries to discipline the kids for how they're using Steve, "have fun" you say loud enough for the kids to hear, which they respond back with a wave to show that they heard you, "Jesus those kids are smart and all but they sure don't know how to say thank you" Steve says before walking back into the back room and sitting on the table, "they're just kids, they'll appreciate you one day" you say trying to cool down Steve from officially putting a stop to the kids ability of free movie access "I know but a little 'thank you Steve you're the best' wouldn't hurt you know" Steve says with a pout on his face, "aww don't get pouty now Stevie, they do say thank you just not to you" you tell Steve in a mocking baby voice and squeezing his cheeks as if he was a little boy. "Jesus stop" Steve says as he laughs a little.

------------------------------∆-----------------------------

Spring of 1986:

Nothing can compare to how you feel right now. With finding out that max is cursed, it completely has your whole blood run cold. The kids have dealt with multiple death experiences but this one is just max being on a thin line of death. It worries you to be honest, in fact it scares you. You don't wanna show that you're scared or freaking out cause you don't wanna scare the kids or Steve. So you try your best to keep it together for the sake of max and the kids.

Robin and Nancy are out getting information about this vecna creeps while you, Lucas, Steve, and Dustin are sat on the couch staring at the back of Max's head as she writes down God knows what. "I can feel y'all eyes boring into the back of my skull", max says which causes everyone to look away, you then started picking at your nails as if they needed to be fixed (they are doing perfectly fine). Max then walks in front of y'all with envelopes in her hands but no one looks at her in fear that they might make her uncomfortable with their stares, "you can look at me now" max says as if it was common sense, "thank you" "sorry" "yea sorry", was the response she got from them. She then hands everyone an envelope with their names on it but before she gave you your envelope, she hesitates and says thank you before giving it to you which leads to you being confused.

You and max both turn your heads when y'all hear the boys about to rip open the paper but completely stop when max tells them to. "Don't open it now, it's for later" max says quietly but that leads Lucas confused "later for what?" Lucas asks max, "just in case things don't end well or if I don't make it, I want y'all to read it until after" max says which causes you to feel sad and heartbroken and before you can say anything Lucas tells max that we're going to get through this together but that doesn't convince max, not after what she heard happened to the other people who were cursed just like her.

You zone out with your thoughts racing around your head until you see max walk towards Dustin's walkie talkie, "do you think this can reach till east Hawkins?", Max's question leads Steve to being confused, "why are we talking about east Hawkins?" Steve says while looking around but stops when he sees you have a sour expression on your face, this lets Steve know that it's another idea that he's gonna disapprove of, "oh no..no...No!" Steve says in an attempt to stop any new ideas to come in.

That didn't stop max as she speed walked out of the wheelers basement with everyone trying to catch up to her. Steve was practically running after her while complaining her ear off about not letting her go, "if you think I'm going to spend what is likely my last days in the armpit of Mike wheeler's basement then you're out of your mind" max says while still walking away from Steve (who looked back at you and the kids waiting for someone to butt in), "so you can either take me where I need to be or tie me down which is technically kidnapping of a minor and i swear to god steve if i live to see another day, i will prosecute" max stops Infront of Steve's car trying to open the door but seeing that it's locked, "open the door" max says demanding Steve "uh no" Steve says while still flabbergasted at max, "I know a good lawyer" max says while raising her eyebrows as if shes challenging Steve to go against her.

"woah okay let's calm down now guys" you finally step in. The kids practically walk all over Steve and it never usually ends with Steve's idea but instead it ends with the kids idea which is weird mostly knowing that Steve is older than them. With the kids knowing that they are able to take full control over Steve, it takes you to step in and put a stop to everything. "Alright let's talk about it and no one's calling any lawyers alright?", you say as you step in the middle of the little stating contest that max and Steve were having. "Max I totally understand where you're coming from but this is a life or death situation so we can't just wander around when your life is on the line. Okay I know that sounds bad but it's true and you're scared and we're all scared but I would rather prefer you staying in the Wheelers basement than leaving and going out in the public where anything can happen. So trust me when I say this but it's better to be safe than sorry" you finish your ramble as you step in front of Steve to show that your full attention is on max and that you're not taking anyone's side. Max doesn't say anything but instead she stares into your eyes. You don't wanna give in but staring into Max's eyes is like staring into a kicked puppy's eyes and you're currently trying not to give up but instead stand your ground. You couldn't stare into the eyes of a girl who you practically called a daughter and not feel guilty for not letting her go out on her (most likely) last days.

You close your eyes and let out a sigh then turn to Dustin, "Henderson...that super walkie talkie thing of your better reach to Penhurst" you say as you move to the other side of Steve's car and open the door to get in the front seat, "woah what!?!?" Steve says while being confused on how you went from going with him, to against him. "Babe I'm not on anyone's side alright just take her there and we'll come right back, promise" you say as you finally sit down in the front seat, "no one listens to me, THEY NEVER LISTEN TO ME!" Steve complains as he starts the car.

------------------------------∆------------------------------

Everyone had one hell of a day. Everyone was rather overwhelmed or exhausted from the shit they saw, dealt, or heard in the last 12 hours. Everyone was ready to call it a day and go to sleep but with max almost dying there had to be someone watching her, even if she was asleep. You volunteered to go first mostly cause you weren't sleepy at knowing that max could've died in front of y'all in just the matter of minutes. You stayed up for God knows how long until you started getting sleepy so you tell Dustin to take over night watch he complained for a little bit until he went quite seeing that you were stressed out and tired.

You went asleep on a chair that was way too uncomfortable with Steve having his body lean on the chair that you were sleeping on. You were woken up by the sound of someone calling for Dustin, "hello Dustin?!? Earth to Dustin!!??" The voice was coming for Dustin's walkie talkie thing, you got up carefully to make sure you didn't hit Steve or anyone without making noise. "Hey its me y/n what happened?" You asked still half asleep, "oh thank God, hey uh you think you guys can make a food delivery, I mean unless y'all want me to go out there and-" Eddie gets cut off by you, "no don't do that, we'll come by sometime today" you say as you look around the room to make sure everyone is okay but your heart drops to your stomach as you see the couch empty. max is supposed to be asleep on the couch.

"...cause you know a 6 pack could really cool my nerves right now-" you once again cut Eddie off by telling him you have to go, "wait wait don't go wa-!" You shut off the walkie talkie thing and immediately went to wake up Dustin. "Dustin, Dustin!" You say try saying loud enough for only Dustin to hear while also shaking him awake. Dustin eventually wakes up confused and looking around trying to figure out why you're working him up. "What- what happened?"

"were you the last one to night watch!?"

"yea why?"

Then where is she?!" You say impatiently with Dustin not taking a hint about what you're trying to find out of him. "She's right there-....well she was right there just a second ago" Dustin says before taking a look at his watch "I swear I was only asleep for......an hour" Dustin says with a long pause which causes you to let out a frustrated groan with how reckless Dustin became. You grab Dustin's ear and drag him up the stairs in a rush due to the feeling of worry and panic since a lot can happen in just one hour. Relief washes over you and Dustin as you see max at the dining table with holly while listening to music and coloring. After reassuring Ms Wheeler that everything's okay, "you know I think it's so cute that you guys decide to stick together while everything's going on right now" Ms Wheeler says with a jolly tone that is so heartwarming but mr.wheeler makes a dry and rude remark that ended with me walking to max and Dustin asking for some food.

"may I?" Dustin asks as he moves closer toward the pile of freshly made pancakes, "of course go ahead, you guys know you're very much welcome here" Ms Wheeler says as she gives Dustin a clean plate for him to get breakfast, "of course you guys are like family" Dustin responds to Ms Wheeler while adding some pancakes onto his plate, "sure why dont you take for all we're worth" mr.wheeler says in a very much sarcastic tone but that encouraged dustin instead of stopping him. "Thank you" Dustin says with a gummy smile and adds more pancakes to his plate, "Dustin!" You call his name before he grabs another pair of pancakes but instead he takes out 2 pancakes from his plate and puts them back in the original pile after you give him a look to act right, "sorry about that, he gets that from his mother" you say while smiling sweetly at mr and ms.wheeler hoping that you innocent look makes Dustin's actions acceptable.

Dustin sat down and started eating his pancake with his hand which you completely gave a disgusted look and gave him a napkin and a fork that was near Holly's plate. While you and max discuss what she saw when she was in a trance at the graveyard then Dustin decided to butt in, "maybe you infiltrated his mind just like how he did with yours" with Dustin's statement it made you think how that is a possible answer, "like freddy Kruger's boiler room" Dustin mentions and it caused holly to wonder who freddy Kruger was, "he's this super burned up guy with knifes as hands, and he kills people in their dreams-" you cut dustin off from continuing, "Dustin...she's a kid" you say the last part through gritted teeth and gave him a look to cut it out, "it's a movie, he's not real" Dustin says after looking at you for approval to make sure that his excuse to not scare holly was good enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later:

Everyone came back alive but mostly injured really badly. With max in the most critical condition Lucas didn't help the wheeler family pack up as he preferred staying at the hospital with max. Everyone evacuated Hawkins so people started packing their stuff up and leaving as fast as they could. You and everyone else were helping put boxes in Nancy's car when Ms Wheeler said something made you and Dustin perk up, "who ordered pizza?" You and Dustin looked up real fast mostly out of hunger but also out of confusion. Y'all see a pizza truck honk and pull up in front of y'all then see El, Mike, Will, and Jonathan get out of the car.

El runs into your arms as you start tearing up with joy. You then break the hug and look at El fully and correctly to see that she looks different from the last time you saw her, "oh my God what happened to your hair", you say while laughing to prevent your tears spilling out your eyes, "what happened to your face?" El says with a both worry and joking tone, "some type of monster beat my ass" you say laughing and going back to hugging El.

Steve was watching from afar with the most cheeky smile spread across his face. Seeing how happy you are when you're around the kids even if you don't say it often but you love them and you would do anything for them to be happy. With Steve seeing how welcoming and happy you are with the kids, it gets him excited about his future with you.

Request me more ideas and I hope you enjoyed it.

[leclerc-s]

so american

series masterlist

logansargeant posted a new story

hey! this pretty girl has 5 extra songs coming out soon! go stream or else!

liked by lilymhe, maejonesverstappen, logansargeant and others

zoyatorres we're so american

tagged: logansargeant

view all comments

logansargeant POOKIE I LOVE YOU!

↳ zoyatorres NO POOKIE, I LOVE YOU!

user92 see we knew the song was about him but the caption is still so cute.

lilymhe when is it my turn to get a love song written about me?

↳ zoyatorres this just means alex_albon needs to step up his game!

↳ alex_albon how am i supposed to compete with 'he's like a poem i wish i wrote' i can't!

isabellaperez WRITE A LOVE SONG ABOUT ME NEXT!!

logansargeant keep this shit up and i'm going to marry you

↳ zoyatorres logan sargeant are you proposing to moi?

↳ charles_leclerc i sure hope that's not on how he plans to ask you.

↳ jensonbutton as do i. i taught you better than this logan.

↳ logansargeant IT'S A LYRIC IN THE SONG!

user45 no one is doing it like them.

irisapatow okay, i guess you guys are cute.

↳ logansargeant POOKIE! I GOT THE APPROVAL!

↳ zoyatorres LET'S GO! IRIS I LOVE YOU!

user31 those are my parents guys!! they're so fucking cute!!

user20 it's such a cute love song for a girl who's never released a love song before. (i'm not talking about gross!)

rhysjones just two americans in love, for once. everyone seems to love dating people from different countries.

↳ isabellaperez i would argue against but it seems to be true. they are the only couple from the same country.

oscarpiastri you wrote a love song about the guy who tripped over air and ended up covered in mud before your first date?

↳ logansargeant SHUT UP? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?

↳ isabellaperez it's okay logan, he almost shit his pants the first time he met my mom and brother.

↳ oscarpiastri do you hate me?

maejonesverstappen this is so cute. the song is so cute, i'm obsessed one could say.

↳ rhysjones that was a horrible joke, never joke again.

↳ maejonesverstappen i will revoke your paddock passes.

user04 i sincerely hope logan knows how lucky he is to be dating zoya.

↳ logansargeant i am very much aware.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @suicidepanda07 @minmira95 @vroomvroom95 @scuderiadevils @lilsiz @ssararuffoni @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @cowboylikemets1989 @rmeddar123 @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @natcha888

not taggable: @Mimolovescookies @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @Smnthnclj @melissayalene @nothanqks @ragioniera @anytimeanywherebitchblog @burberryfilms @lorenaskaspersen @My-fangirling-outlet

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! i am devastated about what williams decided to do, but that is because i have a soft spot for my fellow american, so this is what happens. it's a little short but that's okay. lastly, manifesting points for williams tomorrow. hope their decision works out for them.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[antimony-medusa]

This is verging on discourse, but I have to say, as someone aroace with the emphasis on the aro, it's a trifle disheartening to ever try to look for queerplatonic relationships that look like mine within this fandom. QPRs can cover a broad spectrum of experiences, and it always seems that within MCYT what a QPR looks like has calcified into this one depiction that is very close (but not actually crossing the line) to shipping, just without kissing or sex! With emotional connections that are very similar (but not quite) to romance, hitting many of the same beats. And that just doesn't reflect my experience at all. Personally, I have more fun reading about straight ahead romance than a qpr that hits almost all the same notes, but just doesn't quite go there, that never digs into an aro or ace experience that I recognize, and that is always what I seem to find when I go cruising the tags.

For one thing, QPRs are not just an ace thing, and they definitely don't have to be a sexless thing! You can be aroallo and in a QPR and have sex, or you can be ace and in a QPR and have sex for the sake of your partner, or just for fun! Sex is fun for a lot of ace people, including those in QPRs, and using QPR eternally to mean "sexless" cuts off a large swath of the population that DOES have sex, for whatever reason. And there are tons of ace people who are extremely fine with kissing, including people who are sex adverse, so using a QPR are a shorthand to mean "sexless and also kissless" is only depicting a very narrow slice of the experience.

And QPRs in practice often look very different from romance, including with people who are romance-adverse, and who don't want any of the trappings that normally come with romance (marriage, specific terms like "love" or "darling", metaphors or positioning like "half of my heart" or "soulmate"), and I just never get to see that. A QPR can be two people who sleep in seperate rooms co-parenting a kid! (Or more than two people!) A QPR can be people married together and sharing a bed and holding hands at the movies and calling each other "darling", or it can be people who signed legal paperwork together who call each other "bro", and those are BOTH valid QPRs. But I only ever get to see the one that looks so close to romance that it's alienating to me, while people tell me that I should be happy to be depicted. (I'm not depicted.)

And I'm also frustrated because I have read QPRs that are sharing all the same hallmarks-of-romance-but-no-sex that I would theoretically have a problem with, but they also ring as true to me because people actually talk about what the relationship is and isn't to them, and I go Yes! Not me but I am on a similar wavelength! But so many people just go "QPR" but never unpack the actual ace/aro/aroace experience, so again I'm left with something that is using all the romance and affection tropes that I've come to expect over decades of living in an amonormative society, just slapping a "but it's platonic" on it at the very end. Where's people making assumptions about your relationship that you have to consider whether to correct or not? Where's the inside jokes? Where's the intimacy negotiations and teasing each other about what you want in terms of touch+? Where's the doing life together in a non-romantic way? Where's the epic friendship? Where's the aro experience? (If we're mutuals, you probably write all of these things, and I'm not complaining about you, you're good.)

And it's hard to escape the feeling that at least some of these people are writing QPR because they're afraid of shipping, as I see the tags scroll endlessly by, not because they actually want to depict the a-spec experience.

Some of it is just people not used to writing affection outside of the romance tropes in our society, and some of it is that so many guestures of affection in our society get romance-coded when like, holding hands is not inherently romantic, I know. But sometimes, man, I want to tell people that it's okay to romantically ship, they don't have to keep it platonic, if they're going to write something that is so similar to shipping but has a giant "don't worry, these guys don't fuck" stamped on it.

I don't know, maybe there are even less people like me than I thought. Or maybe the people like me aren't writing fanfiction (lol).

I don't know. QPRs are more varied than they get depicted, and the a-spec experience is special to me and I wish it got written in its diversity. It's frustrating to see only ever one type of QPR, one that is exclusionary to me. I wish I could see the tag and not know exactly what that relationship looked like, or saw something that I felt was strongly influenced by what the characters are, instead of the same sort of sexless romance-lite every time.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

I've stumbled upon your staticradiodad au and I'm in LOVE. If I'm allowed to ask, what were Alastor and Vox's reaction to being called dad? I imagine Vox is shocked and maybe cries. I can can see Alastor maybe shrugging it off, but later in an office or something going "....Fuck." bc holy shit is he getting attached now?

Alastor never expected it, but in hindsight it wasnt much of a surprise either. He's essentially a glorified babysitter for Lilith in the beginning, although after a while it did start to feel like Charlie spent more time with him than her own mother, especially when Lilith would go off and do who knows what for days or weeks at a time. Still, Charlie did have a father already, and though it seemed recently she'd stopped talking about him so much (for a long time she'd kept asking where he was, when she could see him again, Alastor didn't know the answer) it wasn't fair for him to assume that he'd be a replacement, no matter how much he'd grown to care about her. When it finally happened, Alastor stared at her for a few seconds expecting it to be a slip of the tongue, but there Charlie was, holding a drawing in her hand out to Alastor after saying it to get his attention. He stayed calm for her sake, but it hit him like a truck later how much responsibility this actually was now. The anger at Lucifer developed over the years, because if he wasn't going to be around then you better believe Alastor was going to be the best goddamn parent. He wouldn't let Charlie grow up with the same type of childhood he did

Vox was never supposed to get involved- He knew that full well. He'd only "kidnapped" Charlie the one time to get Alastor's attention for a conversation, and while it was worth it even when Alastor tore him a new one afterwards, the last thing either of them expected was for Charlie to ask when she could come back as they were leaving. So this back and forth continued, Vox had a certain time when he'd "steal" Charlie away to spend the day with her, usually conveniently at a time when Alastor had other tasks to be done that Charlie wasn't allowed to witness, and Alastor would "rescue" her at the end of the day. It made her happy, and if she was happy Alastor was happy, and that was a good tradeoff, plus she was a good kid and its not like Vox minded being around her. Charlie was a smart child, and the reason she first called Vox 'Dad' was the assumption that well, he and Alastor seemed to be so close and Alastor is her dad, so Vox must be too, right? Vox calls Alastor in a mf panic because he has no idea what to do or how to respond at first. Alastor has a talk with her later that night but Charlie had already made up her mind, and if her dads aren't already getting married they will be soon, she's determined to make it happen

That was a lot of words

[electra-jolts-magnetism]

...or...or reverse adopt

Griselda: Why did the girls give me a mother's Day card?

Griffin: I got a step-mom card.

Faragonda: I got a mother's Day card too.

All three: ...

Griselda: Did the girls really just adopt us as mother figures?

Winx: We did it in first year actually!

This reminds me of a post I reblogged 😂 It said:

Yes it's sweet when your fave adopts the plucky child they've just met, but the best trope is when the child finds the tallest, gruffest old man they can find and says 'yeah, I'm gonna be his problem now'.

The Winx spend more time with Faragonda and Griselda than their parents at this point, and those girls know something is going on between them and Griffin. They’ve been calling them their Moms for years (In the beginning, The three of them always chalked it up to an accident as it wasn’t unusual for students to call them “mom.”)

After graduation, The Winx realize that this could become confusing and decide that their Birth Mothers (& Vanessa) would be “Mom”; Faragonda would be “Mama”; Griselda would be ”Mother or Ma”; Griffin would be “Step-Mom or Wicked Stepmother” (because they think it's hilarious); and that Faragonda, Griselda & Griffin would be their “Bonus-Moms”. However, when referring to All of them, the Winx call them their “Moms”. And yes, the specialists are aware.

[Most of these take place after graduation, but some can take place before]

===== Bloom =====

Person A: What’s it like having two moms?

Bloom, looking through her phone: Five.

Person A: What?

Bloom, holds up her phone and shows them a picture of Vanessa, Marion, Faragonda, Griselda & Griffin having tea: Five moms, and It’s pretty nice.

Bloom, counting on her fingers as she lists them off: When I experience culture clashes, I talk about it to my adoptive mom because she can understand my point of view. (Vanessa)

Bloom: I’m able to get to know my birth mom and learn how similar we are despite not being raised by her. (Marion)

Bloom: Mama is always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on and offer advice. And when she has time for tea, she will tell all sorts of stories about my other moms, especially the embarrassing ones. She also gives the best hugs. (Faragonda)

Bloom: When I was falling asleep during my classes, the professors eventually stopped waking me up; I later learned Mother told them to let me sleep. She would then go over everything I missed one-on-one during detention or let me sleep through detention if I was in there for another reason. Now, she lets my friends and I nap in her office and will make time for us in her absurdly busy schedule if we need her. She also gives surprisingly good hugs if you’re brave enough to ask. (Griselda)

Bloom: And if the Winx and I are ever in trouble or end up in jail, our Step-mom will bail us out and not tell any of our other Moms. (Griffin)

===== Stella =====

Stella, hears someone talking shit about Faragonda: Keep my Mama’s name out of your fucking mouth.

–––

Stella, hears someone talking shit about Griselda: Keep my Mother’s name out of your fucking mouth.

–––

Stella, hears someone talking shit about Griffin: Keep my Step-mom’s name out of your fucking mouth.

(This one, in particular, has led several people to wonder when Griffin married one of her parents; Luna is the usual assumption)

===== Flora =====

Helia, over the Phone: The guys and I are wondering if you and the girls are free this weekend?

Flora: I’m so sorry, but we all have plans.

Helia, a little curious: Really? What are you all doing?

Flora: Well, Mama’s taking Bloom and me to that new Botanical Garden that recently opened.

Flora: Mother got tickets to a Ballet that Musa and Aisha have been talking about for months and is taking them both.

Flora: And Stella and Tecna are going to watch a Meteor Shower with our Step-mom.

Helia: That sounds incredible. I hope you all have fun!

Flora: We will!

===== Musa =====

Some Asshole to Musa: Well, at least I have a Mom!

Musa, without missing a beat: Actually, I have three, and each of them could kick your mom’s ass!

===== Tecna =====

Timmy, staring at the device on the table in disbelief: Where did you get this?

Tecna, speaking casually as she typed away on a laptop that wasn’t even available for purchase yet: Mother made some calls. It turns out a lot of people owe her favors.

===== Aisha =====

Nabu or Nex: Hey, Aisha, can I ask you some quick questions?

Aisha: Sure, what’s up?

Nabu or Nex: Why do you have a dagger strapped to your leg? Where in the Magic Dimension did you get it? Do you even know how to use it? If so, who taught you? And do your parents know?

Aisha: My Bonus-Moms firmly believe you should never go anywhere without a knife.

Aisha: It was a gift from my Step-mom.

Aisha: Yes, I do. Mother taught me, and she wouldn’t let me go anywhere with it until she was confident that I knew how to use it.

Aisha, Smirking: Mama asked, and they said No.

[orangeytree]

I'm new here at your account. I don't want to share this at a point but I want to get this outta my head. It's been 4 years since I've been trying void,i know for a fact that void is real,i tried numerous methods still nothing. I saw your recent post and i know my anxiety/stress is one of the thing that is limiting me. Idk how to don't get anxious, i live with my family which is the main point of my stress. I'm 22,not properly educated,no job too. If i atleast got a job i can leave here and focus on myself, don't stress etc. but idk what to do anymore. I feel so lost, feel like I'm wasting my life. Parents are trying to get me married,i don't want a partner rn. I'm not ready but I can't hurt them anymore.

Sorry for trauma dumbing

RELAX. You’re stressing yourself out because you haven’t realised that you’re the creator. Life is not happening to you, it is happening from you. Decide that your life is perfect. At this point the void has become a hindrance for you. Go back to core LOA teachings.

Affirm that you’re not anxious. Read edwardart and Neville Goddard. Go back to basics.

When you say things like “parents are trying to get me married” that becomes an assumption which then reflects in the 3D. Change that assumption change your assumptions and forget the void state for now. It is not serving you.

[menofsweaters]

okay so

y'all seemed unusually chill about my last Endeavor rant, and that has lulled me into a false sense of security. General disclaimer that everyone is allowed to engage with media however they want and no one is ever obligated to like/appreciate/forgive/whatever any character and this is all fictional barbie doll playtime so who cares -

BUT

Whenever I see a lot of anti-Endeavor rants, it just screams to me that the person posting has maybe not fully internalized the idea that parents (and adult figureheads in general) are human beings who are quite fallible and capable of making terrible mistakes just like everyone else.

Most people who abuse and neglect children do not realize that they're abusing and neglecting them. I know this is a tough pill to swallow.

Heck, most people who abuse other people in general do not realize they're causing harm. We as human beings generally like to see ourselves as the main character - as a person who's making the correct choices, who knows best, who's out for the greater good.

When parents and guardians abuse and neglect their children, they're generally not thinking "I want to hurt a child," they're thinking that they need to teach the child discipline, or that the child is ungrateful, or that they're somehow doing what's right for the child and the family even if it's hurtful at the time. Or, perhaps at the same time, they're not examining their actions at all, due to lack of understanding, mental health issues, addiction, etc. Makes me think of that post that circulated about how "child abuse is inherently irrational" because YEAH. IT IS IRRATIONAL.

This all very much tracks for Endeavor, who married Rei and started having children when he was quite young, and by all accounts did not have anyone in his life to offer a good example of what a healthy, loving family looks like. We also see his descent into emotional disturbance pretty starkly when you look at the memories of Touya and Fuyumi when they're very young versus the at height of his abuse. We also don't see any other heroes of Endeavor's age who are parents in canon.

Endeavor's thoughts were always "I need to protect Touya from hurting himself, and the best way to do that is by distancing myself so he stops wanting to be a hero" and "I need to train Shouto to be as strong as possible so that he can surpass both me and All Might and become a great hero." Both of these are selfish and short-sighted to some extent, but they're not sociopathic.

He was never thinking, "I want to hurt my children and my wife." No one thinks that way. That's some family annihilator thinking, and there's no indication that Endeavor thinks this way. Very, very few people are that cartoonishly villainous in real life, and Horikoshi has made a point of showing that Endeavor is multifaceted. He only recognized his own shortcomings with his family when he was older and saw the consequences. Would it have been better if he realized these things earlier (and maybe got some damn therapy)? Yeah, of course! That would have been way better!!

Anyway, I think the point that I'm trying to make is that people seem to have this assumption that Endeavor KNEW what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway, when that's simply not what's shown in the canon and also is not realistic in terms of actual bad parenting.

Not to get too deep on main or whatever, but as a survivor (ugh) of childhood abuse, and someone who's dealt with abusive partners as an adult, letting go of the idea that abusers are fully aware of what they're doing and are purposeful with the harm that they do was a HUGE hurdle for me to overcome, but it made my life way better to accept that people are just selfish idiots who have no idea what they're doing in most cases. This doesn't mean that abusers are innocent in any way, or that they can't be held accountable for their actions, or that you have to forgive blah blah blah, but I really genuinely encourage people to reexamine the idea that abuse is always purposeful because it very much is not.

Thanks for coming to my rant, no tags because I don't want to get harassed by teenagers. This is just me spitting out my internal thoughts on the internet and I have no desire to engage in arguments about it.

[aokoaoi]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫.

֎ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗌𝗎𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗉𝗈𝗌𝖺𝗅 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝖽𝗀𝖾. || ᵖᵃʳᵗ ᶠᵒᵘʳ

֍ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : 𝗌𝗁𝗎𝗋𝗂 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋.

֍ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : realizing this'll be a slow burn fic. takin things slow cuz I don't wanna rush this fic and mess shit up ooooo

The Wakandan watches as you shuffled around the humongous library with your head focused on a book you were reading. It's honestly surprising how you weren't bumping into any shelves right now considering how you weren't even looking at where you're going.

You were doing your daily studies, but today instead of studying you got your head caught up in a book you've never seen before. Shuri insisted that she'd just follow you around since she didn't have anything particular to do in the palace. And she certainly did  it want to get caught up in your mother's gossips.

Shuri leads back on the soft seated cushion, watching your every move. She tried reading a book you gave her earlier to keep her busy instead of just staring at you all the time, but the book bored her the second she read the first paragraphs.

Her mind then drifts off to the marriage proposal you got set up on. She's got to admit, even though it is too soon to judge, the prince did seem like a genuine nice guy. Who knows, maybe he got set up in the proposal as well.

Arranged marriage was common in your family. Your great grandparents were in an arranged marriage, and trust her when she says this; the marriage was not pretty.

She didn't know much about your parents marriage, but your mother and father seemed like to genuinely love eachother. Your father absolutely treasures your mother like she's gold, and your mother is full blown smitten with your father.

Sometimes those twos affection together made you and the Wakandan turn away in embarrassment.

Shuri truly didn't know how to feel about the proposal as well. Apart of her was displeased about the idea of you marrying someone else. What would happen if the ceremony happens? Would you two grow apart? Will you slowly start to love the prince and forget about her?

The Wakandan hopes not. She'll be destroyed if it did happen.

She doesn't want to place assumptions on the prince, the poor royal is already looked down by the both of you. Although if he ends up hurting you no matter if you didn't have a ring yet, she will make his life living hell.

No, not another war. Just simple threats thrown around the table.

But perhaps this marriage will benefit both nations. Still though, your feelings and opinions should matter, but sadly enough your mother couldn't respect that.

You snapped a finger infront of the Queen's face, snapping her out of her own thoughts that seemed to drown her big smart mind. The Wakandan hadn't realized she was staring, making you grow a smug look on your face.

"What's the my lovely Queen thinkin' about, hm?" You coyly questioned the girl, pressing the palm of your hand on the edge of the table, relying your weight on the posture as you leaned against the smooth surface. The said girl couldn't help but match your smug grin at the nickname you just called her.

"I'm thinking about the prince."

Your smugness immediately dropped at her bold words, the previous look being replaced with confusion. You masked the disappointment you're feeling by playfully pouting like a child.

"My Queen is thinking about someone else when I'm right here infront of her? How heartbreaking." You placed a hand over your heart, faking an ungraceful sob like a heartbroken teen. Shuri only laughs at your actions, amused, but then again it was something you'd do anyway.

"It's not in that way, Princess. Just thinking about if he's.. just fake or genuinely nice." At her response, you couldn't help but snort.

"That's not something you should worry about, lovely. Don't fret your pretty self over it." You retorted, placing a book you almost forgot you were holding on the tables smooth surface with a soft thud. The Wakandan couldn't help but put up a frown across her beautiful face, your words lingering in her head.

"But it is," at her words, you focused your attention on her, interested in what she has to say. "You're my friend.. best friend, (name). I care about you so much, even the general thinks it's too much. If you even get heartbroken by that man, I will end it for him." She mutters the threat, but you end up hearing it anyway.

Despite the threat, you couldn't help but feel touched by her words. You leaned on the table, grabbing her hands with your own as a close lipped smile casted on your face. "I care about you too. But I'm capable of handling myself, I promise you this. No man will ever be able to hurt me ever again." You strictly state.

The Wakandan Queen was still hesitant, but decided to agree with you. You were an independent and strong woman, you indeed are capable of yourself. But that doesn't stop her from worrying about you.

"Anyways, all this studying is starting to bore me." You muttered, fixing your posture immediately when you realized you were bending far too down in the table.

"You were barely studying, (name). You found a novel when you were looking for more books to study about, and then got hooked up by it the soon you opened it." The Queen snarkily remarks, and you huffed. You dislike it when she proves you wrong, but it is funny sometimes.

"Don't call me out like that, I deserved that book break, okay? Plus, I wanna spar." You state, watching as the Wakandan raise a brow, a challenging aura filling up the room from the two of you.

"Oh, you're asking the black panther to a spar? How cute." Shuri smirks slightly. You ignored her confident words, only mustering a challenging nod of your head. "Yes. You're more of a tough challenge to train with. I like tough challenges."

The Queen hums, raising a brow. "You do? Usually you whine and complain to me about it." You stiffened at her words, slightly glaring at her. "Don't go there."

"Aw, did your lovely Queen strike a nerve?"

"Save that damn confidence on training grounds!"

The Queen hurriedly stands up from her seat when you began chasing her around, her loud laughs echoing on the palace halls as you furiously chased after her, trailing right behind the Wakandan.

The palace workers only looked at you two confused as you dashed past them, amused by the boths childishness. The two of yours energy always managed to chase away the suffocating seriousness inside the palace interior, and that's why they like the Wakandan and yours duality so much.

You both were pretty much inseparable, even when you two are in different nations.

very short:( got caught up drawing today. also the word smirk makes me ick so i try to replace it with smug/grin. just a random fact idfk why i had to share that imao ! part one. part two. part three. part five. || tagging : @ilacknames @sokkasbae225 @puppykitt @ziayamikaelson @katefullerrr @retirement-home @jelliesstuff @honey-teaaaaaaaa @imshurisbabymama @adharaoaklyn @melodykisses @skimm0nzz @nikilvr @shurilover @itsmaniii @just-levyy @bitchsmasher5000 @minallie @whatawonderfulusername

[quinloki]

Hey bby, idk what's going on but distractions incoming!!!

I've started writing what I think is gonna end up being a pretty long post-apocalypse AU with my OC that I'm really excited about!

My cat Pickle IS adorable but you're just gonna have to trust me because she has run off downstairs to beg for my parent's fried chicken.

If Shanks was real and suddenly appeared beside me I do believe he would simply dive into my bed where the heated blanket was and i'd have to minimal explaining about the odd layout of my room otherwise. The smooches that man would get (consensually) sighs

Favorite jam at the moment is wild blueberry jam that we got from the farmers market that we are, sadly and alas, almost out of.

What kink, hhmm. the branch off from cnc where you get chased/hunted as foreplay. into that to a frankly worrying degree. OP offers some truly excellently matched blorbos for that one tho.

Also quick rapid fire FMK: Shanks, X Drake, Shaka (the Vegapunk) (my blorbo plus some I haven't heard you talk much about, just outta curiosity :3c )

ILY tons and I hope everything is okay!!

Any cat named Pickle gets like +5 to cuteness, because i love pickles and cats and the combination is simply cheating, the judges are deliberating AS WE SPEAK.

XD Shanks would be a pretty chill guy to have show up. I have to admit I'd be okay with Marco for similar reasons. The explanation of things and stuff would be a pretty calm issue.

oooooh, Primal Play. And for what it's worth, I don't think any kink reaches a worrying degree as long as you set the lines beforehand. Communication can be difficult, or even just awkward, but it's not just about consent, but also safety. Assumption can lead to bad ends, and not the sexy kind.

Hmmm FMK Shanks, Drake and Shaka...

Shaka gives me Marco vibes, so I'd go with marry even though I haven't seen his face, I like everything else about the guy.

Gods between Shanks and Drake... Augh... Fuck Drake, and Kill Shanks - but admittedly because it wouldn't work anyway. That observation haki of his is broken as hell.

If we says Kiss vs Kill, then I'd swap Shanks and Drake. Between the two I'm well aware of who would be better in bed.

[ckret2]

Hi! I don't remember if anyone, including me, asked this, but do you have any headcanon about Dipper and Mabel's parents? Especially when scared Dipper has woken everybody at home because of Bipper nightmares.

This is gonna sound like a bit of a cop out; but honestly?? My biggest headcanon about them is that they're Whatever They Need To Be To Not Impact The Story I'm Telling.

Outside the matter of sheer necessity I've got a few small headcanons for them. It's the dad, not the mom, who's part of the Pines family (just because that's how surnames usually work round these parts). The dad's Jewish but the mom isn't (operating under the assumption that this is yet another place where Dipper & Mabel's upbringing echoes Alex Hirsch's), and I feel like they still recognize some big events that are important to the extended family (like making sure Mabel & Dipper got their bat/bar mitzvahs), but otherwise they're fairly distant from Judaism and the dad hasn't done very much to pass it down to his kids.

Since Mabel has a picture in her scrapbook of them all kickboxing, I imagine that both parents are into it and did it a little (though not much) with Dipper & Mabel; the dad got into it as a kid because Shermie decided any kid of his should learn to be tough for his own good, because Shermie's dad wanted his kids to be tough for their own good, and that's been passed down the family tree.

The dad moved to California probably to go to college and definitely to join in the burgeoning tech industry in the 90s, then got married and settled, so the only Pines on the west coast are his branch of the family in Cali, and Stan (and now Ford) in Oregon.

The dad never met Stanford before he got portaled, and he grew up believing that "Uncle Stan" in Oregon had been a child prodigy who'd burned out after college and became a recluse rather than slink back home a failure. He was probably told he had an Uncle Stanley who got kicked out for being a dangerous criminal in the making and it was a sad but relieving bit of closure when the family heard he died: at least now they know what happened to him. That's all he knew about Stanley.

And that's about all I've got. Everything else is a matter of convenience.

The story I'm telling right now doesn't involve D&M's parents and I don't particularly want to get them involved; so, by logical necessity, they need to be people who wouldn't have a detectable impact on this story. I wanted D&M to go back to Gravity Falls the next summer, and I didn't want D&M to come into the story dealing with heavy trauma from last summer—light trauma, sure, but not something that weighs on them day and night—so this is my most salient and important headcanon about their parents:

They're the kind of people who could hear all about the Stanley/Stanford switcheroo, the portal, the evil triangle guy, and the end of the world, and then: 1. believe their children, 2. send them to therapy, and 3. somehow still decide to entrust these kids to the same grunkles the next summer. That's it. They need to be whatever kind of people they need to be in order to play that role.

Beyond that: they have to be whatever kind of people they need to be in order to have raised someone like Dipper & Mabel. Everything else about their identities is subservient to these necessities. And I haven't really felt compelled to dig into them further.

[phillipgraveshusbandfr]

Because I'm getting back into writing, how about I write when Lynx and Graves met and fell in love :3 --------------------------------------- (Lynx POV with notes from Adler as he was the one who picked Lynx up from the airport. Written like a Journal) March 2019 I fucking hate customs. Of course I was pulled aside for being of Russian descent. They questioned me for hours (5 minutes - Adler). They mostly questioned about my prosthetic arm. The drive was long. I'm used to long (European long is like 45+ minutes - Adler) drives, but this was loooong. Who knew that going from New York city to Lancing, Michigan would be 10 FUCKING HORUS!! (Not that bad to be honest - Adler). We stopped a couple times for food and bathroom breaks. Adler had to do most of the talking since I only spoke Russian and broken English (And a couple other languages, Lynx's father taught him well - Adler). It was close to midnight when we finally got to Adler's house. A medium sized house in the suburbs. Close enough to the inner city for it to not be a bad drive and far enough so that the sounds of the city are quieter. He had a couple extra rooms. One for his son who visits occasionally, and a guest room for some of his old friends. I took the guest room with the assumption that his son would visit while I was staying (He did and now their married - Adler). It was nice, once I fully learned English, I started helping out with some chores. I even got to go shopping with Adler. We ran into an entitled bitch who I humbled (He threatened her in Russian. It was fun to watch. - Adler). ---------------------------------------- (still Lynx. It was a time skip. No more notes from Adler) August 2019 Adler has been pacing around for a while. His son is coming to visit and he's nervous because they've been talking to each other about me. Something about Adler being worried that I won't be what his son is looking for. I don't know what he means by that. August 2019 Holy fuck he's adorable. Phillip Graves, that's his name. Adler explained that his ex wife, Phillip's mother, took Phillip in their divorce and changed her last name back to Graves. It's a nice name. Phillip Adler doesn't have the same ring to it. No offence to Adler. Phillip runs a PMC called Shadow Company, says he wants me on the team. Thanks but I don't want to join another military group after what I went through in Konni. September 2019 I caved and joined. Shadow 0-2. That's my callsign. Most of the other Shadows are American. I felt out of place being there. I was put as second in command almost immediately. I don't think anyone liked me. October 2019 I'm having second thoughts about joining. I've tried being kind to the other Shadows. I'm mostly in my office working on paperwork but I also have to run training. They don't fucking listen. Found a raven near the lake behind base. It was hurt and I brought it in. Phillip was nice and helped me get it out of the water. I named him Reaper. November 2019 Had to break up a fight today, that might have gotten the Shadows to respect me. Phillip jokingly (God I hope) said that I looked hot disciplining the Shadows who got into a fight. November 2019 Found a little area where I can catch a break from the Shadows, my office and bedroom aren't safe, Shadows like to pester me while working and Phillip keeps breaking into my room. December 2019 My parents invited me back to Russia for Christmas, I want to go but at the same time, I'm kinda the reason my brother is in the Gulag. I've gotten closer with Phillip so I might spend Christmas with his family. One of the only times that Adler willingly goes to visit his ex wife. We're taking a train down to Mrs. Graves' house. ---------- This has gotten to long for Tumblr to autosave it lmao I will Reblog this with part 2!!

[hpowellsmith]

Since it’s not really mentioned I was wondering how are trans people viewed in the CDLC universe since polyamory and same sex relationships are pretty normal.

Brief sidenote - in Westerlin and Zaledo polyamory isn't legally supported. In Westerlin it's considered fairly unusual compared to a two-person romance; in Zaledo it's more commonly seen, but there isn't legal marriage for more than two people. Elsewhere - Jezhan and Teran in particular, since those are the places I've written about most - it is both socially normalised and legally supported.

Relationships and marriages regardless of gender are socially normalised and legally supported throughout the Creme de la Creme world, and it's considered commonplace for people to have kids regardless of their anatomical setup. (You don't get people quizzing parents about how their child came to be.)

Nonbinary people are considered as ordinary as someone whose gender is binary. People commonly use they/them pronouns and it's not considered something notable.

The above is all pretty supported by the games; there are people in same-sex relationships who are married, who have kids, and there are various nonbinary characters who living their lives. The MC can be nonbinary and use they/them pronouns (and in later games choose their own) and other characters take that in their stride.

Where it becomes more complicated is that neither the NPCs or the MC talk about being nonbinary (this is the case for Blood Money too, where the characters aren't gender-selectable). When I was first writing Creme in 2018 I thought it would be cool to have nonbinary characters with their gender unmarked - showing that the world understands their gender straightforwardly. On a personal level I was also having a lot of gender feelings and I felt nervous about going into more specificity - even a step removed from my own experiences, in a fictional game. (I feel nervous talking about it now!)

I don't think having unmarked nonbinary characters is necessarily a bad thing! But it does mean that nonbinary MCs miss out on being able to discuss shared and differing experiences with nonbinary characters, or being in community with these other people with shared identities.

On that note, in Royal Affairs, Creme de la Creme, and Noblesse Oblige, you can choose pronouns but can't state specifically that you're a trans man or woman, nor are there explicitly trans women or men onscreen. I don't go around saying "hello this character is cis" in or out of the narrative, and I don't make any assumptions about characters' or MC's anatomy. So it's possible to interpret that characters or the MC are trans and I welcome that... But equally if it's left up to interpretation like that, it makes it possible to play the game assuming that there are no trans women or men around.

I don't want to say "yes, trans people are loved and celebrated in this setting" without explicitly backing that up in the games themselves. Trans people are loved and celebrated in the Creme de la Creme setting, but going forward my goal is to reflect that more fully in the text itself. Which is what I'm doing with Honor Bound, both with characters in the game and with the MC - and, I hope, in a way that feels good for me and for players. So: in Honor Bound, there are explicitly trans major characters, the MC can be explicitly trans themselves regardless of their pronouns, there can be more shared chat on the subject of being trans and/or nonbinary if the MC wants to chat about it, and there is more specificity about how nonbinary characters relate (or don't relate) to their genders.

Thank you for the ask - I know it's been a long time. I didn't set out to post this on Pride month but here we are: it's a nice coincidence!