#they brought back the fricking car my dude

[doctor-10-swanson]

THEY FINALLY BROUGHT UP LASZLO BEING COLIN'S FATHER

I felt like this was the vibe for the whole ep

[thinking-destiel-thoughts]

So I could go after a bunch of stuff that irks me in How I Met Your Mother but I wanted to post about some of the major things that bother me and see if I’m crazy or if others resonate the same.

First and most frustrating to me: STELLA. nearly everything about this irked me.

The thing with inviting Robin to the wedding…like, yeah, absolutely valid that you don’t want your future husband’s ex to be there. But why didn’t you say that when making the initial plans? Especially when you know she’s one of his 4 friends. Did you really expect him to not invite her??

The thing with inviting Tony…yes, absolutely I get not wanting him there. But Ted has no legal guardianship over Lucy. What exactly was Ted supposed to do? Take a little girl from her father against his will? That’s kidnapping. He has no legal right to take Lucy away from Tony.

Moving into an apartment in New York with Tony after making a massive point about how ridiculous it would be for her to do something like that with Ted. Like…girly…the man wouldn’t move to New Jersey for his OWN child? Ted was like “you know what, you’re right” but Tony was like “nah give up the house” and that was fine??

Going to Ted to ask him to get Tony back for her…my sister in Christ, what the fuck. What exactly did Tony expect Ted to say about the woman who LEFT HIM AT THE ALTER? Did he expect Ted to still be obsessed with her? And WHY does Stella even want Tony back if the man is willing to break up their family for a SECOND TIME bc a man who Stella hurt is not obsessed with her and thinks she’s selfish? Clearly he wanted the out. Why chase him? AND the fact that she literally only apologizes bc she needs help from him…ugh. That is messed up imo

The movies REALLY irk me. Ted is the man who YOU left at the alter and the man who GOT TONY BACK FOR YOU, but you let this man make him the villain for his movie? You not only divulge private shit that went on between you and Ted, but you also don’t stop him from putting it in a fricking movie?? I get Tony having his warped image of things, fine, but Stella really just let that all go down like that?? She just told Tony every single detail and everything she ever learned about Ted and he put it in a movie. WHY

Ted and Victoria, the second time they get together:

One of my biggest issues with this is that for some reason Ted is the one people blame for the wedding not happening??? As if 1) Victoria wasn’t a whole adult who chose to not tell Ted it was her wedding day before agreeing to meet up with him and bringing a car for them to run away together 2) Victoria’s husband-to-be ALSO ran away from the wedding. He literally also left!!

Even if Ted had brought Victoria back, there wouldn’t have been a wedding. Victoria’s dad blaming Ted and expecting him to pay is so crazy to me.

Another issue I have is with her being pissy that Ted wants her ex-fiancé out of his apartment. It’s not like the dude was normal and super chill. He had an aggressive pet that kept birthing babies and biting AND he didn’t respect boundaries. Like if the dude was just chilling and a normal roommate, I’d get it. But I don’t feel like it was unreasonable for Ted to not want him there — he agreed to let the ex stay with him and had no knowledge of the ferrets or whatever pets the guy had when he suggested it.

My last issue with Victoria is that when Ted is like “if you wanted a bigger commitment, you’d tell me, right?” and she’s like “yeah, I’d be direct.” and then continues to be passive aggressive. The man literally told her “I need you to be direct” and she wouldn’t. All of that on top of her thing about getting back together with him on her wedding day meant he shouldn’t be shocked she wants to get married…babygirl…you didn’t want to get married. You literally ran away at the first opportunity when Ted asked if you wanted to catch up

Ted and The Mother: My main issue with them is that SO quick after being ready to MOVE TO CHICAGO bc he loves Robin, he’s just all good to stay for her? Like suddenly the Robin thing is a non-issue??? Like…bruh??? That just doesn’t track for me at all.

I also take issue with him returning to Robin in the finale and the kids encouraging it. Like idk about yall but wouldn’t it be weird for your dad to admit to saying he was so in love with his best friend’s wife that he was moving but the next day fell for your mom? I feel like I’d be kinda like “okay so was mom a stand in for Robin??? is that what the point of this story was???”

Ted and Barney (Robin and the bro code): I’m pretty sure going after your best friend’s ex-wife is a violation of the bro code if going after your ex-girlfriend is. Like this is the one woman your best friend ever REALLY loved…

Plus…was it not a whole issue of Ted being unable to sleep with a woman because he thought Barney was with her first? But banging the woman Barney was married to and consistently slept with is fine?

There’s definitely more that irks me but these are the main things…anyway. for anyone who made it this far, thanks for reading my rant lol

[shorkbrian]

Omg that Tendou in the desert was something I never knew I needed. It was just 👌👌. You just just know dude has fridge full of strange meats and way too many guns.

like I was thinking about this last night while out walking with my dog.

(Tw: blood, gore, poor dog death, ambiguous ending)

Loosing your dog out in the bush, pup took off out of the car during your road trip when you stopped to let them out to pee. ofc you go out looking for them.

Calling their name, whistling for them, begging them to come back. Sun’s so hot on your back, you’re sweaty and thirsty and man, you should’ve brought water...

A rustle catches your attention behind you and thinking it’s your dog, you turn with a smile to welcome/scold ur pup.

But it’s this dude with crazy hair, wild eyes that won’t leave your face, a crooked smile on his face. “Hallooo!” he chirps, and you curse cause holy Frick you were not expecting a human.

You explain the situation, ask if the dude has seen your dog around, what’s he doing out here in the desert btw? The redhead cocks his head and laughs something about a camping trip, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I thought your dog was a stray, not many animals out this way.”

But you’re happy, he’s seen your dog!

His name’s Tendou, and he walks you back to his campsite and listens to you talk about your road trip, how you’re tired and thirsty and sweaty. Invites you to stay a bit at his campsite, and y’know, maybe once you’re reunited with your dog, you will. Have a few sips of water, chat a bit, and then you’ll be on your way.

You get to the man’s campsite, what looks like trash piles in a gulch.

Tarps and junk and a weird smell.

Tendou leads you past all that, past patches of dark brown earth. Leads you underneath a tarp that forms a shade against a side of the gulch, where he’s dug into the side a bit. There’s blankets in the cool earth, in the shade.

“Hm, must’ve run off somewhere again.” Tendou comments, settling himself into the dugout, motioning for you to sit down wherever you’d like. “You want some water? Real hot out todayyyyy-”

“Sure.” You croak, and then the man is pawing at an ice chest, clicking it open to rummage around. There’s......it’s full of ziplock bags, red and bloody. Fresh.

But he hands you a clean, unopened water bottle, and then the ice chest is clicking shut and he’s smiling at you again. God, his eyes are a bit unnerving.

“Anybody know you’re out here? Don’t get too many visitors.”

You get a weird feeling, or maybe it’s been there from the start, but you were so excited to see your dog. Dull metal catches your eye - a pile of guns and bullets tucked in the back of the dugout, some rusty, some unused. Others look newer and well-loved. 

Tendou clears his throat, rocking forward to lean on his palms and bring himself closer to you, encouraging you to speak. 

“Oh, uhm... sorry. The heat’s kinda getting to me. Not used to it I guess.”

“Mmm, things you don’t understand are kinda scary, right? Heh, it’s nice living out here though, in all this heat. Nobody ever bothers me.” Red eyes peeled wide, fixated on your face. You’re thoroughly creeped out. 

But as you go to rise, sputter out some apology and turn tail back to your car, more metal catches your eye.

Bloody dog tags, hanging from the ice chest.

[after-lauhgter]

Hey dude, I really like your music taste so do all the music questions that you didn't already answer 🌚

OK DUDE HERE THEY COME (except 1,6 & 14) ... ok lets do number 1 again  What's a song you've been listening to a lot lately? as the world caves in by Matt Maltese, if I get high by nothing but thieves, and literally anything off waterparks’ new live album, that thing makes me feel so ALIVE bc like LIVE MUSIC  Is there an album you recently discovered and are obsessed with it now? well waterparks live in the uk obviously but if the last 6 months count as recently, then the new abnormal by the strokes. its... absolutely breathtaking. I don't have words. 0 words. except these dudes know what the fuck they’re doing. and then I found the devil and god are raging inside me by brand new and jeeesus. literally Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ was my most played song in 2020 AS IT SHOULD BE bc its EVERYTHING this album is THE SHIT. every song is just *chef kiss* like there's limousine (omg limousine) and you won't know and not the sun and AHH listen to these albums omg  Put your playlist on shuffle and show the first 10 songs. No cheating. i assume “your playlist” means all my saved songs so Topography by Civilian (pls go listen its SO great) Na Na Na by mcr yees issa classic  Du schreibst Geschichte by Madsen omg geeerman  just saying by EDEN (pretty pretty pretty) Westerland von den Ärzten another classic  letdown by nothing,nowhere. sad but the good kind of sad  The Man by the killers making fun of toxic masculinity gives me LIFE  Graffiti by CHVRCHES YES  and death stranding by CHVRCHES too YES SO GOOD simmer by Hayley Williams, a queen  How do you tend to discover new music? If you do at all of course I do enjoy what Spotify suggests, like my weekly mix brought a lot of bops in the past, although sometimes it just sucks lets be real. I also like the artist- or album-radio, when I wanna find something similar to an album but not the album.  and another thing I lovvve is when artists I like recommend music, for example, have you seen dallon weekes instagram stories? THE TASTE? bc yes, someone who writes music like that MUST have a superior taste in music and he fucking does. 

What app do you mostly use to listen to music? Spotify :) Is there an artist that you feel ashamed of listening too? I can't think of anyone so probably not  What is your favorite album cover art? omg. I have to go with more than one. so there's where the mind wants to go/where you let it go by I the mighty, one of my favorite albums of all time, and I'm going to say it how it is, I LIKE THE COLORS. the blue-ish imagine with the red omg. look at it pls.  Also fandom by waterparks looks SO COOL. again the COLORS  and I love the art for Isola by Kent.  I recently discovered you wouldn't believe what privilege costs by civilian and I think that cover is pretty cool too.  well and then there's petals for armor by Hayley Williams, the cover art is so fucking powerful Jesus I get goosebumps just thinking about it. in case you don't know about it, long story short: there's been a lot of shit going on in Hayleys life in the past. relatable imo. then they made after laughter and its been like u know what fuck it we’ll just laugh and dance through the pain. together. and I LOVED the vibe omg it gave me so much. but for Hayley it kinda postponed REALLY dealing with shit. she came home from touring with AL and she also got divorced during the AL era and everything's shit and out of all that came petals for armor. and in it she reclaims femininity, being alone, being powerful, being a women, everything. and ah yeah we were talking about the cover art, the cover is her, having a line of squares on her face, three of these squares are tattooed on her fingers though bc its where her ex husbands initials used to be that she got covered up. WHAT A MOVE. THE POWER.  (if anyone is interested in hearing Hayley talking about/explaining all this, I really recommend watching her interview with zane Lowe. its SO GOOD basically free therapy) How much did your parents influence your music taste? a. lot. my dad listened to a lot of “dad rock” you may call it, I guess a lot of dads listened to stuff similar to this. Deep Purple, the police, simple minds, Green Day, Billy Talent, the scorpions and things like that. what influenced me the most tho was the beatsteaks (german band, very good), die Ärzte (german band, very good) and LAST BUT NOT LEAST the fricking blues brothers. my favorite movie (not the 2000 remake, go watch that in hell where it belongs), a great, charismatic band, unbelievable live performances. very big WOW from me.  Do you own any vinyl? don't get me started omg. I DO. I wish I could take a photo but my records are at my parents house so ill just name my favorites.  -after laughter and brand new eyes by paramore -violent things by the brobecks and their song boring on 7inch (this is very rare ok) -razzzzmatazzz by idkhow in gold :) -may death never stop you by mcr (my first one, I bought it first and then bought a record player for it, that's how it started lol) -omg the black parade is dead by mcr, this was never available on vinyl until record store day 2019 (?) and I hunted that bitch like idek what it was insane but I found a super cute small record store and the owner didn't have copies of it bc NOBODY DID but he fucking CALLED THE LABEL even though it was way too late and he asked if they'd send him a copy and THEY DID I FUCKING OWE THIS MAN  -and omg Isola by Kent (in Swedish tho bc the English version was never pressed on vinyl) this was intense. I searched for like 2 weeks and then, on google results page 8 or something, I found what could've been the only copy on the damn internet and it was very expensive but its MINE NOW -my signed vertigo vinyl by EDEN, its clear and on side D it doesn't have music but a little message engraved it the vinyl IT IS CUTe -Placebos MTV unplugged! I am so I love with this album. SO. in love. and one day, when I was in Berlin to see palaye royale, back when we had concerts, I walked by a random record store and they have like 4 records left bc they were closing or idk and the only one displayed in the window was this one. tell me about FATE  Do you own any cds? not many. sometimes when im at the store and I see ones I know or like, I just buy them and put them in me moms car bc I want her to listen to them. or when I find a cd by a smaller artist I enjoy, I buy it just to push the nachfrage. HI i am HERE and I WANT this music  Is vinyl really better than listening on a digital device? im not gonna be that middle aged white male audiophile that hates on our generation for using Spotify. bc its great. I think its just different. I mean im sorry I don't carry my record player on the bus with me, pls forgive me for using my phone? having immediate access to most of the music that is out there? wow. what a concept. I love the internet. YES TECHNOLOGY. but. vinyls are... different. I feel likes its a different kind of listening. I feel like youre rly LISTENING. and that way isn't better, or right, and im not saying it works like this for everyone. but when I put a record on, my only activity at that moment is listening to music, I sit down and I listen. to the entire album. so skips and no pauses, bc that's how it works. and I think that sometimes, that can do a lot for you. if you let it.  and besides that, physically owning a record makes me happy on a level nothing else really does. fuck I love music so much and when I fall in love with it, I fall hard. and then owning a copy of it, something I can touch, something that is MINE, putting it in my little shelf, looking at it every few days and just being in love? fantastic feeling.  What is a genre of music that you tend to go to for comfort? sad shit. I feel like I can get great comfort from the sad shit. or maybe just slow shit. and songs that mean a lot to me and have been around me for some time, they have this other level of comfort. like for Emma, forever ago by bon iver for example. I have a playlist, maybe I'll reblog this again and link it ;) Do you tend to like poppy upbeat songs, or more intricate and interesting songs? both. sometimes I wanna have complicated stuff and analyze the shit out of lyrics and instrumentation, sometimes I just wanna v i b e If you have a favorite band or artist, tell us about how you got into them I liked paramore before but when they posted the video of them performing last hope at reading? it was over. when Hayley sang the bridge it was over. now im a die hard fan and I never looked back Is there a song that came out this year that you like? maybe after reading all this shit you expected a list but somehow I can't. where do u even start. but the answer is definitely yes.  THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS 

[schrijverr]

Remember me

A destiel re-write of 4x01, Lazerus rising, in which Dean remembers Cas from the time the angel spent in Hell rebuilding his body and falling in love.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: Hell

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slice

Cut

Pierce

Slash.

Dean wasn’t seeing, he was going through the motions.

Just another soul, just another eternity. Hellfire burned, but he was used to it.

He just went through the motions.

Slice

Cut

Pierce

Slash.

He was focusing so much on not seeing what he was doing that he missed the bright light until he it was creating shadows out of fire. He whipped his head around and saw, he saw the most beautiful thing ever created. He didn’t know what it was, but it shone pure light and glowed fiercely while it cut through Hells defenses like it was nothing.

It came closer and closer and Dean, Dean couldn’t do a thing except watch. Slowly the knife he was holding slipped out of his hands and he let his mouth hang open in wonder as he watched this indescribable creature.

When it was close enough he heard it whisper, the voice was deep, but it rang through Deans head like a bell, it whispered: “Come with me.”

And Dean did, he let the tug in his stomach pull him forward into the embrace of this unknown being. The being wrapped him up in its light and moved away from the horror Dean had been surrounded by. Dean could only watch in wonder and the being carried him out of Hell like it was nothing.

But the road was long and a day on earth is four months in Hell. So as the being carried Dean it said: “My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord, I have come to save you and rebuilt your body.”

“An angel?” Dean breathed in wonder.

“Yes, an angel.” Castiel said.

And that is how they met.

~

Every day they grew closer, they watched each others backs and would keep up the chatter while Castiel built. Until one day the angel told Dean: “Dean, did you know that you have 4,892 freckles?”

Dean had laughed a confused: “No.”

“Would you like to keep them all?” Castiel had asked.

“Could you make them disappear?” Dean had asked.

The angel had answered: “If you wish so, I could. Do you?”

Dean had shrugged: “I don’t know, man. What do you think?”

“I think they suit you.” The other had answered and Dean had kept all his freckles.

~

Later Dean had asked: “It feels weird to refer to you as just it or something. What should I call you?”

“I have no preference for any human pronoun, refer to me as you wish.” the angel had answered.

“Okay, I’m gonna go with he, alright? I never had many male friends, so that’s nice?” Dean had said, then he had laughed at the absurdity of the statement.

~

“Dean, you have sustained serious damage in your liver and lungs. Smoking and drinking is bad for you, did you know that?” Castiel had said.

“I know, but in my defense I stopped smoking out of high-school, so that’s just unfair.” Dean had pouted.

Castiel had proceeded to scold him for the harms of different substances before saying he would remove the damage.

~

“Cas?” Dean asked.

The angel answered: “Yes, Dean.”

“What could even kill an angel?”

“Are you planning to kill me, Dean?” Castiel countered with a smile.

“No, no, of course not!” Dean rushed to assure him, “Just curious, I guess.”

“It’s alright.” Cas said, “The only thing that can kill an angel is an angel blade.”

“What’s an angel blade?” Dean asked.

“A blade forged and used by angels and angels only.” Cas explained.

Dean frowned and said: “Is Ruby’s knife an angel blade?”

“No I would survive a stab with it.” Cas said.

“Awesome.”

~

“Do you wish to keep your scars?” Cas asked.

“The ones from the Hellhound?”

“No, the others ones. I could give you a clean slate if you want, but maybe you would rather keep your body as it was.”

“I would like to keep my scars, makes me manly.” Dean grinned, “Right, Cas?”

“Of course, right.”

~

And slowly Castiel had become Cas, consulting had become talking, surviving had become living and friends had become lovers, but the journey was coming to an end. Dean would enter his new Castiel-made body in a few moments and then he would be free from Hell.

Before he could go he asked: “Will I remember you?”

He had refrained from asking, because he had been scared of the answer. A fear that might be correct. Cas answered: “I do not know, Dean. Your memories of Hell could be wiped as you enter your body, but they could remain.”

“Will you come find me when I’m topside? Come help me remember, in case I forgot?” Dean asked, voice vulnerable.

“If I can I will come for you, but I do not know what my higher-ups want me to do. The next time I’m on earth could be well past your lifetime.” Cas answered truthfully with pain in his voice.

Dean was near tears as he said: “I don’t want to forget this, forget us. You’ve been what I’ve been missing and I cannot lose this. You have to make sure, I’ll remember.”

“My grace is already intertwined with your being, but I shall leave a mark that is visible for you. To jog your memories, just in case you forgot.” Cas said.

Dean smiled: “Thank you, Cas. I’ll see you topside.”

“Till then, Dean” the angel answered and then Dean was crossing over to his body.

~

Dean woke up with a gasp, his mouth was dry and his throat wasn’t used to air passing through. His screams for help were hoarse.

Dean felt his pockets for something useful and was glad when his fingers stumbled upon a lighter that worked. When he realized where he was he murmured to himself: “Dammit, Cas, couldn’t you’ve dropped me somewhere else?”

The moment he had said it he gasped. He remembered Cas, he hadn’t forgotten. The crushing fear of uncertainty was replaced by the bubbly happy feeling, remembering brought him. It gave him the strength to bust out of his grave.

Once he was out he looked at the trees surrounding his grave (oh damn that was a strange thought). Still he whistled impressed by the display of his lovers power. Although he couldn’t help whispering: “Drama queen.”

He shook his head and focused on making a list of priorities. First he had to find his way back to people, then he had to find something to eat and drink, then he had to find Sammy and let him know that he was fine and after all that he could figure out how to contact Cas again.

He wanted his first priority to be his angel, but he was starving and he couldn’t go after Cas without making sure Sammy was okay, besides Sammy had the smarts to find Cas, he reasoned. He said: “Sorry Cas, gotta find my brother first.” to the air.

It had become a habit to make little comments to Cas, so unconsciously it had slipped out of Dean. When he realized what he had done he paused for a second, then shrugged and continued walking along the stretch of empty road. It didn’t harm anyone, so what did it matter?

He found a small gas station and stole some food, drink and money.

He also found the hand print on his shoulder and smiled to himself as he traced the outline. It was an obviously male hand, it seemed Cas had embraced the ‘he’ that Dean had called him. Dean blushed a bit, when he realized that the hand print was a claim on him. He said: “Really, Cas? What is this, a fricking angel hickey?”

Just when he was busy stealing the money from the cash register, the whole building started to shake, for a moment he thought it was Cas, but he quickly threw out the thought when he heard the piercing sound. Cas had a nice and deep voice, this was not a nice sound or deep.

As fast as it has come it went, leaving Dean confused and alone once more.

He shook the confusion off and called Bobby when he couldn’t reach Sam, but the man wouldn’t believe it was him, which was fair considering everything, but very inconvenient at the moment. As he hung up he sighed: “Well that went well, eh, Cas.”

Then he stole a car and made his way over to the older hunters house.

~

Bobby didn’t know who the person in front of him is. It’s Dean, sure. He did the tests and the boy passed them all, but it was different. Of course Bobby knew that Hell changes a person, it would be even more crazy if it hadn’t, but this was just weird.

After Bobby had accepted that it was Dean, he asked after Sammy, which was in character for him, but then he started talking about this Cas person. It started when Bobby had asked how he had gotten out and Dean had briskly answered: “Cas” before picking up the phone to call the phone company.

Once they had Sams location Bobby tried again: “So who is this Cas? And how did he get you out? And why?”

“Cas is a dorky dude, okay? He’s harmless, I mean come on, his favourite animal is a bee.” Dean replied with an eyeroll, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well that answers exactly nothing.” Bobby shot back.

Dean sighed and suddenly he seemed years older. He looked over at Bobby and said: “Forget it, okay? If I tell you, you won’t believe me. He came to get me out and he did. I might never see him again, I’m gonna try, but that don’t mean it’s gonna work. He has higher-ups to answer to and he might never come back. So for now, lets just focus on finding Sam and seeing what the Hell he’s been up to since I kicked the bucket.”

After that Bobby decided that it might be better to leave the subject alone for now, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t think about it and to try to come up with a solution to find Deans friend and potentially dangerous creature.

~

Dean was getting pretty tired of getting attacked with knifes by people he loves. First it was Bobby and now Sammy. At least the kid was getting laid. It would have been extra sad if Deans death had lead to Sam becoming an old spinster.

Luckily Bobby was there to diffuse the situation and soon Dean was pulled against his brothers chest. The chick left and Sam asked what had happened to him and how he had gotten out, which was another thing he was tired of talking about. He honestly didn’t know, he felt so confused. He was sure Cas was real and therefore angels as well, but what if they weren’t? He thought about what had happened at the gas station. What if it was something else that had gotten him out, something evil, something dark. Not the bright light that he associated with Cas.

Besides that there was the fact that Cas was a dude, well not really, he was celestial waves or something, but in Deans mind Cas was he and he had talked about Cas to Bobby as if Cas was a he and he wasn’t going to change that. But their relationship hadn’t been platonic and although he was pretty sure Bobby and Sam wouldn’t care, pretty sure just wasn’t enough. Not enough with the uncertainty around it all.

So he answered: “It was Cas, if we want more answers than that we need to find him.”

Sams brow furrowed as he asked: “Well how are we going to do that? And why do you know this guy’s name?”

“Well, maybe we had a chat on the way up and he happened to mention it.” Dean snapped.

“You remember Hell?” Sam replied immediately.

Dean silently cursed himself and lied: “No, not really, okay. Just Cas. He left me this.”

He shrugged off his flannel and showed them the hand print. He didn’t want to show them the angel hickey(oh go he shouldn’t refer to it as that in his head, because he had almost no filter) because it was something private, but if it kept Sammy and Bobby of his back he’s just had to bear it.

It seemed like Bobby knew someone who could help, so they were on their way, before Dean got into the Impala he looked to the heavens and whispered: “I’m gonna find you, Cas, don’t worry.”

Then he got into the car to bitch to Sam about what he had done to his beautiful baby.

~

Dean didn’t know what to do with Pamela’s advances, on any given day he would have been flirting back, but that was before Hell, before Cas. Yet, he knew that of he didn’t Sam would be suspicious. He was thorn for a second and decided that Cas was worth the interrogation and steered the conversation away in such a manner that made it clear he wasn’t interested.

They were sitting around her table and she was trying to pinpoint Cas’s location, or at least that’s what Dean hoped. She said: “Castiel?”

“Yeah, that’s him. Did you get him?”

“Almost, he’s a fighter that’s for sure.” She said.

“Maybe you shouldn’t do this, Pamela.” Bobby cut in.

Dean gave him an angry look, but before he could tell Bobby where to shove it Pamela said: “He’s telling me to back off and not look at his true form.”

Dean frowned, he had no problem with seeing Cas, but that was in Hell, so maybe it would be different here. He said: “Maybe you should listen?”

“No, I almost got him.” She replied.

And that was enough for Dean to shut up. Pamela would know what she was doing, right? Besides if it was Cas, he wouldn’t hurt her. He was gentle and kind, but then again, he had warned her to stay away. Would it be dangerous?

Before he could tell Pamela to stop, that it wasn’t worth it, that it could be dangerous, that they should listen to Cas. It was already too late. Pamela was screaming, her eyes burning.

Dean could only look with a horrified look on his face. This wasn’t Cas, it couldn’t be. Doubt overcame him again. What if he had bought into a lie, what if Cas wasn’t who he said he was, what if Dean was a fool and some evil douche bag was laughing at him somewhere?

He just sat there as a statue while Sam and Bobby rushed to Pamela’s aid. After they had found that she was perfectly fine, except for the eyes, they turned back to Dean. Bobby was the first to speak: “What the Hell have you gotten yourself into now?”

With scared eyes Dean looked at Bobby and said: “I don’t know, Bobby, I don’t know anymore.”

“I’m going to get Pamela here to the ER, just in case. You boys better lay low for a while and don’t do anything stupid. Understand?” Bobby said.

Both boys nodded, then looked at each other while the door slammed closed in the background. Dean asked: “Pie?”

Yeah, he was an emotional eater, sue him, it was one of his least unhealthy coping mechanism.

Sam rolled his eyes: “Sure.”

~

The whole thing in the diner calmed Deans concerns about Cas down. I mean if there’s anything demons would fear, it be angels, right. Besides Dean had seen himself how easily Cas had taken the demons in Hell down. So Dean said aloud: “Sorry for doubting you.”

Sam gave him a weird look and Dean shrugged: “Guess going to Hell makes you the praying type.”

Sam started to say something, but thought the better of it and just got into the car.

They checked into a motel and decided to wait, for now. At least Pamela was mostly okay, that was something. It didn’t help with the guilt in Deans gut, however.

That night Dean woke up because someone is knocking on the door. Groggily he looked up and saw Sams bed empty, the kid must have wanted a drink and forgotten the keys or something. Dean opened the door, but it wasn’t Sammy who was standing there, it was Bobby.

Concern crept up Deans spine, so he called Sam. He heard the kid tell him about a burger he wanted and immediately knew it was a lie, but he had been lying too, so he led it slip. He had something more important to do, at least if he could convince Bobby.

“Bobby, we need to summon Cas” he said.

“Are you insane, Dean?” Bobby said, “Pamela barely looked at the thing and her eyes are gone. Trying to summon him would be madness.”

“It’s Cas.” Dean practically yelled.

“You say that like that means something.” Bobby shot back, “You come back out of no where and suddenly your borderline obsessed with a thing that isn’t human and supposedly got you out the Pit. I mean, you even have a nickname for the guy. Don’t you find that suspicious? Use your brains, boy.”

Dean floundered for a second, then he decided that he needed Bobby to help him, so he said: “Bobby, you don’t understand. I know Cas, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do that. I just need to see him, just to make sure. Please, Bobby.”

And if Bobby wasn’t so familiar with Deans body language and heartbreak, he wouldn't have recognized the look on Deans face, but he did and suddenly it became clear; Dean needed to make sure the person he loved wasn’t gone or evil. So Bobby sighed and said: “Alright, but we are warding the place so heavily that it will survive the Apocalypse.”

Dean smiled: “Thank you, Bobby.”

“Don’t mention it, idjit.”

~

Bobby had done the summoning ritual and now they were waiting. It was taking suspiciously long and just when Dean had made a comment about the waiting time the roof started shaking. Dean and Bobby shared a look, then the front door of the barn burst open and a dude in a trench coat walked in.

The man started walking forward as the lights burst above his head. Bobby started shooting at the man, but he didn’t slow down. Dean just stared at him and Bobby yelled: “You recognize him?”

Dean shook his head and looked down at Ruby’s knife, in his head he apologized to Cas, then he stabbed the man. If he survived then it could be Cas and at least it wouldn’t be a demon. The man didn’t seemed fazed by the knife, he just pulled it out and gave Dean a look. With a deep voice he said: “Dean, it is me.”

Deans bottom lip wavered, he wanted it to be true so badly, but everything that had happened in the last 24 hours had just added so much uncertainty in his head. He bit his lip to stop the movement and said: “Prove it.”

The man nodded solemnly and said: “You have 4,892 freckles.”

Dean face lit up, while Bobbys eyebrows rose up to his hairline (that was pretty specific information to have). The trench coated man got pulled into a hug by Dean. While that happened Bobby asked: “Dean hasn’t said, so what are you, cause you ain’t human that much I know.”

The lights burned bright suddenly and two shadows appeared on the was behind Cas, the shadows of wings. His eyes glowed as he said: “I am an angel of the Lord.”

Dean smiled to himself as he saw flashes of the Cas he knew and fell in love with. The memory brought another question to him mind and he asked: “What’s with the holy tax accounted look?”

Cas looked down to his body and patted it down a bit self conscious, he had tried to find a male vessel that was Deans type, but he knew it wasn’t his body. He said: “This is a vessel.”

With a betrayed voice Dean said: “You’re possessing some poor bastard?”

Cas said: “His name is Jimmy Novak, he’s a devout man. He actually prayed for this. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t necessary, but my true form can be too much to handle for some people, you know what my voice did to that gas station and my body to Pamela.”

“The gas station was you?” Dean asked.

“Yes, my true form is perceived differently on this plane of existence.” Cas said.

Bobby decided to insert himself into the conversation: “So you’re the idjit that pulled this other idjit out of the Pit?”

“That would be correct.” Cas said.

“Care to explain why you undertook that action.” Bobby said, “Unless it was from to goodness of your heart.”

“Bobby.” Dean said, “Don’t do this, man.”

“No, Dean, I want to know what powers are at play and why they’ve made the moves they made.” Bobby countered.

Dean wanted to argue some more, but Cas cut in and said: “No, it is very understandable that he questions my motives and I have to admit, I’m not just here for connection, but on business as well.”

Dean fell silent at that and Bobby nodded: “So, why did you pull him out, not that I’m not grateful or anything.”

“I pulled him out, because God commanded it.” Cas said as if was the most normal thing to say.

“Why? Why would God give a rats ass about me?” Dean asked, silently wondering why he never asked Cas about this while in the Pit.

Cas scrunched up his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side as he said: “You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” Dean stayed silent and Cas went on: “I thought you would have lost a bit of your self doubt with the love I poured into you.”

Dean blushed deeply and looked away from the piercing blue eyes, but by doing so he met Bobbys eyes. Bobby quirked an eyebrow at him, saying everything without words. Dean mumbled a “shut up” to the older hunter.

“When did you two even met.” Bobby commented in return.

“Yesterday.” the angel answered and Dean gave him a confused look as he asked: “Yesterday? It feels like I’ve known you for months.”

“You have.”

“But you just said-”

“A day here, is four months downstairs.”

“So,” Bobby concluded, “four months, since yesterday.”

Cas nodded, while Dean tried to wrap his head around it all. Luckily Bobby wasn’t so easily distracted by everything and he barreled on: “You said you were here on business. What’s the business.”

Cas turned to Dean and said: “We have work for you.”

[dahliawolfe]

Thunder

Ok, guys, this is an original story, but it’s very fandom-like. Picture Trueblood/Supernatural/Roswell, type thing. Enjoy.

Characters: Jordan James (OFC), Tatum Chandler (Tate) {OMC}

Jordan slammed the door of her car and peeled out of the parking lot. It was pouring buckets, and she should have been off of work half an hour ago. But of course, Courtney hadn’t come in to her shift on time, and Jordan had to pick up the slack, as usual.

The mountain roads leading to her cabin are slippery and dangerous, and if Jordan hadn’t been driving them since she was 10, she’d slow down. But she knew every curve and bump like the back of her hand. She’d just come around a steep curve on the last wooded road to her home when she spotted something in the middle of the road. She almost hit the damn thing, slamming hard on her brakes to avoid it.

In the middle of the road, being blasted by rain, was a large, white wolf. Straining to see if the wolf was breathing from the safety of her car, Jordan leaned forward, toward the windshield. She couldn’t see a fricking thing. Sighing, she unbuckled her seatbelt and cracked her door open. The rain smacked her in the face immediately as she fumbled in the door console for her flashlight. She jumped down from the old truck, landing in a puddle, drenching her legs and feet. She cautiously walked toward the wolf, crouching down beside it to see if it was alive. It was shallowly breathing, and its front left paw was drenched with blood. It looked like the poor thing had nearly had its arm ripped off. And dammit, now she had to take it home. Cuz Sebastian James had instilled one thing in his daughter growing up, and that was to help out where you could, give where it was needed, and not ask for anything in return. Getting down on her knees, eye level with the wolf, she spoke in a stern voice.

“Listen, if you want to live, you need to let me take you home and patch you up. Do NOT eat my face off, or you’ll die here in the middle of the road, in the rain and mud. Alone. Or, well, with my faceless corpse, whatever.” The wolf lightly snorted, and Jordan smiled a little. Straightening to a squat, she slid both arms around the torso of the wolf and heaved the both upwards, or she tried to. “Damn, dude, lay off the venison. Your ass is heavy,” she grunted. Planting her feet, she tried lifting the wolf again. She managed to make it to her feet, as the wolf gave a low growl of discomfort. “Hey, we talked about this now, Fido. No violence, and we’ll be copasetic.” Walking backwards, half carrying, half dragging the wolf, Jordan made it to her truck. Now the hard part. Lifting this goliath of a beast into her bench seat. Deciding to bite the bullet, she propped the wolf against the inner door well, climbed into the seat herself, and pulled. She flew backwards into the other door, wanging her head painfully on the driver’s side window, but she made it. Now, she had a very agitated looking wolf laying across her lap, soaking her good jeans in blood, mud, and rain water. Easing the wolf down into the seat, Jordan reached over and pulled the door closed.

…

The tiny cabin was miles from everyone. It was small, and had definitely seen better days, but it was home. And Jordan didn’t feel at peace anywhere else. She parked in her gravel driveway and went to unlock the front door, propping it open with a chair she kept just inside the doorway. She ran back to the truck, cold rain pounding down on her head and blowing icy needles against the skin of her face. The wolf blinked up at her lazily as she reached in, trying to catch hold and drag it towards her. The mud that her ass landed in when the wolf fell from the truck onto her was cold. It took her breath, and instinctively, she held the wolf tighter, burying her face in the scruff of its neck. The wolf gently licked her collarbone, and she smiled. “It’s ok, that was my bad,” she assured the creature, hoisting herself up.

…

After stitching up the torn skin of the wolf’s paw and leg as best she could, Jordan cleaned the wounds and made a bed by the fireplace for the poor creature. She made sure it drank a little water, then she placed a knitted blanket over it. “I’ll be right in there, Little Guy, you’re not alone. Just rest. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.” Normally, Jordan would ask the town vet to have a look, but there had been a lot of wolf attacks lately, and she knew that Dr. Jacks would just want to put him down. Jordan wasn’t willing to do that. She knew that the wolf could be saved. She just hoped she didn’t get mauled to death for it.

…

His feet padded silently across the hardwood floors as he made his way to her room. The room of the crazy, wonderful girl who had saved him. She could have left him lying in the middle of that road in the rain to die, but she’d stopped. She’d carried him to her home. And Tate couldn’t help but smile. She’s a small thing. Couldn’t be more than 19. But she’d shouldered the considerable weight of his wolf. She was determined. And Tate couldn’t decide if she was brave or crazy, but he could have easily killed her. And she took that risk, willingly. He looked down at his torn-up arm. It would take a few days to heal, but her care for it had certainly helped the process. The cold air blowing across his naked skin brought him back to reality. The sun would be rising soon. She’d awaken. And seeing a large, male, human, naked in your home watching you sleep probably wouldn’t be a good thing to wake up to. He let the familiar, yet still painful sensation take over him. His skin was replaced with white fur, his hands and feet with paws, and his mouth with a snout and fangs. He hobbled back to the bed she’d made for him and laid down, letting exhaustion take over him.

…

…

Groaning, with a stretch, Jordan sat up in bed. Bright sunlight was streaming through her bedroom windows, and she knew that she had to get up and get ready for the day. After a quick trip to the bathroom, she made her way to the living room to check on the wolf. His tail thumped lazily when he saw her. “I guess you’re feeling better, huh?” she greeted, kneeling down to pet the wolf gently. “Hungry? I’ll see if I have any wolf-appropriate food in the kitchen.”

∞

Tate watched the girl walk into the kitchen. Her long, honey colored legs peeked out from under the worn men’s shirt that she was wearing. She hummed to herself as she rummaged through the fridge. She endlessly fascinated him. Finally, she flicked the eye of the stove on and turned to him.

“What do wolves eat, hmm? Deer? Cows? Rabbits?” she placed her palm on her hip and stared down at him. “Oh, wait! I know!” she walked excitedly to the fridge and dug around before straightening up with a triumphant grin. “Steak!” she exclaimed, holding up a package of red and white marbled meat. She hummed to herself happily as she retrieved a plate from the cabinet, dropped the steaks onto it, and slid it across the floor to him. Oh, she wanted him to eat it raw? No thanks. He preferred his meat rare to medium, thanks. Taking his paw, he gently slid the plate back to her, looking up at her expectantly. “Huh? You don’t want food?” He snorted, shaking his head. He then rose gently and trotted to the stove, pawing at the oven door.

“You want it cooked? But you’re a wolf. How do you survive out there?” she nodded outside, but nonetheless, picked the steak up and dumped it in the skillet.

∞

Jordan watched the wolf devour the steak while she munched on her eggs and bacon. Strangely, the wolf had let her prepare her own breakfast before consuming his. Once he finished his meal, he laid on the floor, head on his paws and looked up at her. “You good, Bro?” she asked, wagging a fork at him as he eyed her plate hungrily. “For real? You’re still hungry?” The stare down continued until she sighed and placed her plate onto the floor in front of the wolf. “I’ve got to get ready to head into town anyway.” She made her way to the bathroom to shower, the sound of a hungry wolf’s teeth clinking against her grandma’s china in the background.

end of pt 1. want more?

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Birds of Prey“

*in best Roman Sionis impression*  WHOOO!

Figured I might as well FINALLY watch it.  On with the show!

*silently jams to the opening logos*

This animated intro is great.

*snorts at the little animation of how an egg gets fertilized*

Why is this animated Joker a different (and actually better) character design than what we got in Suicide Squad?  Were we robbed of Letoker in full Joker suited glory?  I think we were.

“Behind every successful man is a badass broad.”  *points at screen in agreement*

I love Harley’s freaking rainbow apartment

The hyena!

This movie has the same amount of color saturation as “Pulp Fiction”

Freaking Bernie the Beaver is holding her tissues!  We stan supportive friends!

*gasp* Cass!

This guy [Roman’s driver] looks an awful lot like Jon Hamm and that is never gonna go away

“It’s not a party without a little drama!”  I love Ewan McGregor

*snorts in hilarity when Harley turns to address the audience about how much she doesn’t like Roman in front of Roman*

“Do give the Joker my [Roman] best.”  Uhhh....

*jams the crap out to “Boss Bitch” by Doja Cat*

*laughs at Harley drunkenly giving relationship advice to a female bust in the club*

“Some people have the Eiffel Tower.  Or Olive Garden.”  Can we please hear the stories about Gotham’s Olive Garden?

Oh that shot [of Harley walking away from the Ace Chemicals explosion] is great

[Four Minutes Ago]  *snorts in hilarity*

So far I actually really like Rosie Perez as Montoya.

Huntress!

*Huntress kills the mob people in the flashback*  That was awesome.  And the way Montoya steps back and forth to investigate the body is great.

“Harley Quinn just called open season on herself.”  And oop.

God, seeing Ewan as Black Mask is really gonna throw me off but man this is gonna be a great performance.

*jaw drops in horror when Zsasz removes someone’s FACE*

JESUS CHRIST HOLY SHIT RATED “R” HUH?!?

“Is that a snot bubble?”  Shit!

OHHHHH THAT SHOT OF ROMAN WITH THE MASK ON!!!  AAAAAAHHHH!!

The SATURATION IN THIS MOVIE

Also the soundtrack and aesthetic in this movie is very... “Suicide Squad”-esque

Man that sandwich looks good

*jaw drops when Harley accidentally throws her sandwich into the road*

Also they de-saturated everything again hahaha

Oh my gosh that guy [”Happy”] is HUGE

[GRIEVANCE:  COSMETIC VANDALISM]  Yeah, that sounds about right

“Par-ley??”  *snorts*

Her [Montoya’s] shirt....

Also why is she wearing that shirt at work?

This movie is giving me huge Tarantino vibes

Why does the actor that plays Montoya’s boss looks familiar?

Oh!  He’s Rufus in “Supernatural.”  Bobby’s kinda buddy!

“Ms. Montoya, we do have a dress code.”  There we go.

They are really just going back and forth in the timeline to cover everything, aren’t they?

Harley’s using nonlethal rounds?

The action set pieces in this movie so far are awesome.

*says “Run, piggy, run!” along with Harley*

Of course Dinah is singing “This Is A Man’s World”

Also I’ve seen like a 20 second Twitter compilation of Roman saying the f-bomb and it’s glorious

“We could make our own family.”  Oh snap.

WAIT THAT’S THE GUY WHOSE FACE ZSASZ REMOVED!

Does... Roman... like Dinah?  Like... that?  Or is this manipulation?

*chuckles when drunk Harley slides up next to Dinah at the bar*

*gets very uncomfortable at a guy trying to take advantage of a drunk Harley*

C’mon Dinah...

What’s the song playing here [when Dinah’s beating up the guys in the alley]?

Uh whatcha doing in the corner there, Zsasz?

“Oh sooongbirrddd?”  Noo...

Did I just see a street sign that said “ANUS”?

So is Cass faking a broken wrist or does she actually have a broken wrist?

So far my favorite characters are Montoya and Dinah.  Not gonna lie.

*has to muffle laughter when Roman does the mmkay hand sign* 

“I mean, I like crossbows!”  *giggles*

Holy shit, Zsasz is jealous of Dinah.

“Look at his little ears, the little haircut...”  *insane giggling*

ZSASZ IS DYING IN THE BACK I LOVE THIS SONG

Dinah is clearly rethinking some life decisions while looking at that statue of Roman

*jams out to “Sway with Me” by GALAXRA*

*Cass robs Zsasz of the diamond*  WHOOP!

*winces when Roman does acupuncture*

“SHE’s a chILDDD!!”  *laughs*

ZSASZ

Ho shit that shot of Roman on top of the stairs looking down at Harley

“VOTED FOR BERNIE” HAHAHA

*Harley completely derails Roman’s villain monologue*  THIS IS AMAZING

HE [Roman] GOT A BOWL OF POPCORN

*Zsasz licks Harley’s cheek*  EEUUUGGGHHH!!

Did that goon just pull a tampon out of Harley’s pocket?

I’M SORRY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PICTURE OF NUDE ELEANOR ROOSEVELT?

*gasps when Roman backhands Harley across the face*

OH HERE WE GO

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GREAT

ROMAN IN THE STRIPED SUIT

THE CHOREOGRAPHY

WHY WAS IT SO SHORT I LOVED IT

Where is this cover at on the official soundtrack?!?

“I’ll give you ‘til midnight.”  Hold on, hold on, what’s the timeline for this movie?

Harley’s just booking it in the background

Aaaand we’re back at the beginning!

Aaand there’s Harley!

Wait there’s about an hour left and we just now got to Harley meeting Cass?

CONFETTIIIII!!

Is she just using paint bombs on all the guards?

Harley, trying to enter the cells:  I AM PRESSING.  EVERY BUTTON.  I CAN FIND.

Why would they put Cass in the cell block with all the adults?

OH HALSEY!  COME THROUGH!

*Harley slides across the floor to knock a guy down*  OHHHH!!!

Daniel Pemberton’s orchestral score for this movie is reminding me an awful lot of “Into the Spiderverse”

Is that Katana’s sword?!?  How the hell did it get there?!?

WAIT SHE’S GONNA HUFF THE COCAINE?!?

Jesus, now THIS is Harley’s fighting style!  Holy crap!

*gasps when Harley gets kicked back and knocks off a car door off its hinges*

*jaw drops*  SHE JUST SET THAT DUDE’S BEARD ON FIRE

How does everyone seem to know where Harley is?

*Smash cut to Harley buying laxative for Dinah in the store*  Hahahahahaha!

“I do not care that you’re [Cass] a kid.”  Yeah, Harley, didn’t you uh... assist in the murder of Jason Todd in this universe?  Hmmm???

Wait so how long ago have Harley and the Joker been together?

Doc calls Harley “lotus flower”!

Those are the nuns from the school in the beginning!

She is actually... talking to the beaver

“[Joker] Sounds like a dick.”  I mean, yeah.

Also I just realized that Harley drew an actual dick in the Joker drawing’s mouth

HUNTRESS!

OH NOW WE’RE GETTING INTRODUCED TO HELENA!

*eyes widen in shock at the Bertenelli massacre*

*chuckles at the smash cut to Helena practicing in the mirror*

*Roman sees someone laughing in the club*  Oh no.

“Get on the table.”  Uh.

Oh no what is he doing?

“DANCE, ERICA!”  Ohh.  Shit.

“Take your dress off.”  *jaw drops in horror*

God, I cannot watch this.  Holy-

*has to avert eyes*

*Roman stops Dinah from leaving*  NO.

“You soothe me, little bird.”  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

OK, I can take a breather now.  Ohhhh my God...

They’re [Harley and Cass] really just having a girl’s night

BRUCE, NOOOOO!!!

“No one knew we were here except-”  DOC SOLD THEM OUT!

“This next bit ain’t very pretty.”  Oh boy.

“I [Roman] own this town.  You have my protection.”  Mmmmm... no?

Whoa this super dramatic cover of “Hit Me with Your Best Shot”

OH HE’S [Zsasz] GONNA SEE THE TEXT SHE [Dinah] SENT [to Montoya]!

*Roman starts to break down*  Oh.  Shit.

OH THIS MUSIC

*Roman puts the mask on*  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

OH THIS IS GREAT

Also of course Joker and Harley had a hideout in Amusement Mile

*winces when Montoya punches Harley right in the boob*

*Harley kicks Montoya out the window*  Oh she dead

*gasps*  Zsasz!

Man that sideways shot of him is terrifying!

OH FRICK NO

JESUS I DON’T LIKE THIS

So is it implied that Zsasz only kills women or what?  I thought he was an equal opportunity killer?

“That’s why he [Roman] needs me [Zsasz] to look after him.”  Dude.

...did they just kill Zsasz?

Everyone except Harley is pointing guns at each other and all I’m thinking of is that scene from “The Office”

*snorts in hilarity for Harley clapping for Helena completing her kill list*

Oh Roman just brought a whole freaking army

OHHHH HE’S GOT THE MASK

Oh this music *chef’s kiss*

Oh my God is Roman gonna find Zsasz’s body?

Oh that crane shot out of the lair and back outside?  That’s some good shit.  Cathy Yan, I see you.

“I [Helena] DON’T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!”  DINAH’S FACE!

*Helena pounces on a goon in the slide down and kills him*  Geez that’s awesome

This whole set is great

*Helena gives Cass her old toy truck*  THIS MAKES ME SAD

Yeah when did Harley have time to put on her skates?

Some dude just gets shanked then leaps back up

That fight scene just went by real quick

*gasps when Roman shoots Montoya*

*jaw drops when Dinah does the Canary Cry*

*Harley gets sideswiped by one of Roman’s goons*  Yeah no there’s like half a rib cage gone

*Harley works on overtaking one of Roman’s goons’ car*  CRAZY TOWN BEEP BEEP!

*Harley backflips onto the top of Roman’s car*  OHHHH!

Founders Pier... geez that looks great

Wait are those all Roman’s goons just lining the dock or are those just statues?

Oh they’re all statues.  That’s creepy.

“exCUUSEE me?!?”  *snorts in hilarity*

*jaw drops when Cass tucks a grenade in Roman’s coat and activates it*

*still shocked when he FREAKING EXPLODES*

I’M SORRY THEY JUST KILLED OFF BLACK MASK

*Cass finally goes to the bathroom*  Finally!

“Does she always [Montoya] talk like the cop in a bad 80s movie?”  *laughs*

Guys Helena is great

*laughs when Helena laughs at the fact that Harley stole Dinah’s car*

“They call themselves the Birds of Prey.”  Yay!  Lemme see them again!

Harley’s jacket has a bedazzled vagina on the back of it

Look at Cass with her jacket and sunglasses!

“Yeah, I made the kid my apprentice.”  Yeah, that’s not gonna last long.

[shuwuwua]

farmboy!joshua

in which your first time in the rural countryside–crap internet, 20 minute drives to the nearest grocery store, random deer in the roads, and all–is not bad. not bad at all. (aka joshua and animals and being very soft) [fluff]

word count: 3k

disclaimer: not all rural areas are the same. you can get high speed internet. (just not in my personal experience lmao)

you were born, raised, and spent most of your livelihood in the same city

a proper skyscraper sort of city, not a “it’s bigger than a town so i guess we have to call it a city but the tallest building here is still only 4 stories high” city

your family wasn’t really one for vacations but this summer your parents decided to switch it up and spend a few weeks with your relatives who live in the countryside

and although you’ve been skeptical as to what’s possibly worth spending that long in the boonies, you figure it’s been a while since you saw those relatives and don’t say much against it

you’ve tried unsuccessfully for the past few days to avoid nature by browsing YouTube, but it’s proving difficult with your relatives’ lack of surfable internet

they finally suggest you go to the petting zoo

and you snort a little at first bc it’s not your ideal pastime but you suppose that’s what you gotta work with now in the boonies

so you drive to the nearby petting zoo. you exit your car.

and your hit with the Smell™ (of dried grass and poop, to clarify)

and you’re like. oh yeah. i’m definitely in the countryside.

you proceed.

as you walk up the path to the main buildings, you see some of the larger animals around you. horses. cows. the pigs are outside feeding at this hour. you’re kind of in awe because you’ve never seen a Live Cow and,,, they’re kinda cool how they’re so chill and they look sorta Smooth like they’d be really pettable and you wonder if you’d be able to milk one or smthn

but you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.

you open the barn door. and are immediately hit with more Smell™

you wonder if it’ll attach to your clothes. you figure you will deal with it later.

there is something else to deal with at the moment.

“wait, no–lucky! come back!” someone yelps as they rush around in front of you, chasing what seems to be a ball of fur that moves at the speed of light

or a puppy. same thing, really. 

that someone takes a giant leap of faith, only to just barely miss the pup and end up face first on the floor, which you can’t imagine being the most sanitary of surfaces

you look away in search of the flurry of fur. you can’t see it, but you can definitely hear it. unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like it has a collar, so you prepare yourself to scoop it up completely rather than grabbing its collar. as expected, it runs into your direction and you launch at it...

success!

lucky squirms in your grasp, barking and sniffing at your shirt. they must decide that you’re an agreeable human, because they start trying to lick your face

“wow, you caught him!” you look up at seemingly the body from earlier

and like,, not to exaggerate but is this what looking at an angel is like?

the boy you’re looking at looks back with such bright eyes and with a gaze full of affection, although after a second you realize the affection is probably for the dog. he has the best smile you’ve seen in a good while, because people you pass by in the city don’t smile that much. he just radiates Warm and Good and is probably great for business, because he’s just as cute as the puppy who is still going at your chin

“i… yeah, guess i did. uh, you kind of have straw all over you” is what you settle on saying to him, because out of all the things you noticed about him, your brain decides that the straw and dirt still sticking to his cheek and various parts of his shirt were the most acceptable features to point out. while they weren’t the more flattering options, they probably saved you from the complete AWKWARDNESS that would have come from mentioning his eyes or beaming smile or really anything else bc the straw and dirt were the only flaws.

“oh!” he exclaims, straightening up and brushing off his shirt

“… here too,” you say, grasping lucky in one arm as you move your other hand to your cheek

of course, he wipes at the wrong side.

“the other side”

“right. ok. am i good? sorry, that’s not a great first impression.” 

he still has a smear, but you decide it’s probably not going to budge and he’ll figure it out later. and he has no clue what a great first impression it was. clearly. “no, it’s fine.” 

he continues to smile at you and you’re still crouched, clutching lucky. lucky then decides to yelp because he’s tired of the severe lack of attention, which snaps you back to the situation. 

“oh, right.” you stand and give lucky back. 

“here he is!”

once lucky is back in the boy’s arms, he immediately starts to lick at his jaw. the boy sighs and pulls a treat out of the pocket of his apron, waving it around lucky’s face. “what are we going to do with you?” 

he turns back to you. “sorry about that, lucky is a very excited young pupper, as you just saw. the most problematic of all his siblings. anyway, i’m joshua! welcome to nabiya petting zoo. is it your first time here?”

you nod. “er. it’s actually my first time in this area, or in this part of the country, really. i’m from a pretty big city.”

“oh! well, a bigger welcome, then. i hope you enjoy your stay.” 

he rubs lucky between his ears. “isn’t it nice to get away from the busy urban life sometimes? i’ve always thought it’s really relaxing around here.”

“yeah, it seems… nice so far,” you say loosely, reflecting on how you haven’t really seen enough to come to that conclusion

he still has that warm smile. “i’m going to put lucky in his pen. hm… you’re the only one who’s come in so far today, so i could show you around if you want?”

“yeah, sure! i haven’t seen a lot of these before,” you reply, going down the list of animals at the side on the wall.

“ok, i’ll be right back!”

when he comes back y’all walk around n look at things and he asks you if you want to hold or feed some animals and you take everything pretty well, more than even you expect

you look at the normal domestic sort of animals like a litter of kittens, and the pen with lucky and his other pupper brothers and sisters

typical farm animals like pigs and sheep

sheep are not as fluffy as you imagine, they’re actually kind of gross looking if they haven’t had a bath recently

nonetheless you find them kind of cute, and you even pet one of the rams, aptly named… sam the ram

something tells you joshua was responsible for the name

you guys go out to the field and observe some turkeys strutting around

“huh so that’s the thing you see in clipart, the thing hanging off their faces”

“yeah it’s called a snood”

“LOL huH”

“only the dudes have snoods”

“um”

“during mating season, female turkeys pick male turkeys with longer snoods. you could say they’re in the snood for love.”

“please stop”

y’all spend a lot of time with the rabbits bc “bunnies are my favorite animal” says josh as he crouches next to a brown fluffball of a bunny, petting it

it’s just such a Good n Wholesome scene you can’t help but let slip “wow ur so cute”

he looks up, but his expression says he is otherwise unbothered

“sorry, what’d you say?”

“i SA ID the buNNY is sO cuTE” panics

“oh” joshua says. “alright” he turns back to the bunny, a tiny smile on his face

before you know it, 4 hours have passed and your stomach is letting you know dinnertime is approaching, so you bid josh farewell and wonder if you’ll ever see him again because that was a hecking nice 4 hours

you find yourself coming back again two days later lmao

today, joshua is putting out slop for the pigs. he grins at you. 

“hey again. what brings you back so soon?”

you find some excuse like “ykno i just bonded with sam the ram so well i had to come back, we’re bros now” and josh just laughs softly at you

“ok. you wanna look at some horses today?”

“whoa. o-okay.”

when he brings them out ngl you’re kinda intimidated bc like,, they’re some toL bois.

one time you saw a pony at the state fair but that was smol n cute and walked at a pace of 3 miles an hour

but these horses?? threatening. now you understand where the horse in horsepower comes from

“hey, don’t look so scared. they’re harmless!” the black stallion chooses that moment to snort and buck a little. 

you gulp.

“no, really.” he pets the stallion. “snuffles has never hurt anyone.”

you blink

“,,, snuffles ??”

joshua gives you a hard stare. “7 year old me thought that was an appropriate name and today years old me still thinks it’s fine”

you raise your hands to say “ok man ur turf ur way”

joshua clears his throat dramatically and turns back to ,, snuffles. “so aNyway, i brought snuffles out because i think he’s the best for a beginner to ride, and i’m assuming you’ve never ridden a horse before.”

“yeah i haven’t… wait did you say we’re gonna riDE them??”

“yeah, we don’t usually let people do that but i feel like you need the whole farm experience so you can go home and tell your friends the country isn’t just yeehaw and old town”

“but like… isn’t this just proving the point of old town? you literally have the horses in the back.”

“however, my hat is not matte black. i don’t even have a cowboy hat. or Wrangler. or anything else the song mentions. just the horses.”

“ok joshua if it makes u happy i will take snuffles to the old town road”

he gives u a big :D

he instructs you on how to mount the horse and stands behind you in case you start falling but thankfully you don’t so we don’t have to go over any kind of cliche

~ gripping of the waist for balance ~

or

~ catching you in his arms ~

scenes

: ))

“hey, good job! give snuffles some pats or something.” you reach a hand out to stroke the side of snuffles’s face. he whinnies a bit. Well frick, you think, that was kind of cute.

joshua decides he’ll walk some laps around with you before letting you actually ride snuffles by yourself. after you seem to be comfortable, you guys walk/trot around some and that’s how the rest of that afternoon goes :)

picture this with me

the sun is low in the sky

and y’all and your horses are just looking out over the hill

skin lookin immaculate bc it’s the golden hour

a massive grin you don’t even realize you have on your face.

and then you gotta go home, as your stomach reminds you again.

over your stay at your relatives’ place, you visit the petting zoo more times

you and josh become pretty comfortable with each other

he always has a lot of time to spend with you bc people don’t come that much this early in the summer, and in general they don’t get a huge amount of traffic but that’s okay financially bc the petting zoo is just a side thing, it’s mainly his family’s farm

and so you learn more things about him and his family from your times together, you guys sometimes sit around with some lemonade and hold some bunnies. lucky has also taken a liking to you, so you hold him a lot.

joshua tells you about his parents having always wanted to live peaceful and healthy lives, eating their own produce, moved to the area before he was born and it just expanded into the farm.

so although no one lives on the farm, they live pretty close by and he spent most of his childhood around all the animals.

you wonder if he was born with the soft, patient, and gentle nature needed to care for all the animals or if the animals shaped him to be that way.

but on top of that, he really loves spending time with them. even though he’s there basically every day, he never seems tired of his job.

“but what about you though? i’ve never really been that far from here, so i wonder what a big city is like.”

you trade your chaotic urban stories for his peaceful rural ones, and he trades his farm accident horrors for your memories of solidarity in the city.

you tell him about all the great food, countless different flavors of restaurants and a bubble tea chain every few blocks

you tell him about the convenience, the variety of transportation and the proximity of things, like basic groceries

the crowded sidewalks, the crowded metro, the crowded shops

the neon signs that light up the night, the period of quiet and calm somewhere around 3 in the morning, when you can open the window and hear the city nightlife in its most muted yet most raw state.

not only has time in the countryside made you appreciate it more, but also your home life more.

while you’re still wrapped in your memories, joshua smiles softly at you from the side. lemonade long forgotten, ice long melted. “that sounds really nice. your stories make me want to visit you in your hometown some time.”

huh. he could’ve just said visit the city, but he said visit you in your hometown. joshua has such a way with making the conversation personal.

you process what he said again and think about what it’d be like if he came. you could take him to all those places you raved about… it’d be like…

,,, a bunch of dates really. your brain frazzles a bit at the thought.

“… yeah! … that’d be pretty cool.”

and that’s how your afternoons pass these days. lemonade at the side, bunnies in hand, breeze passing through hair.

eventually josh asks you if you want to hang out like… nOT at the petting zoo

and you’re like whoa ok what’s your idea

and he’s like “can you meet me at watchtower hill tomorrow at 8pm?” 

he thinks about what he just said and quickly follows with “i know that’s kind of a really late time, but i promise i have no nefarious intent! oh, shoot that makes it seem like i do. i really don’t i promise! i just wanted to show you what the sunset and night sky are like in the countryside. oh, i just spoiled it…” he flashes you an awkward smile and some finger guns. “yep, that’s what we’re doing! no nefarious activities.”

you grin at him. “calm down dude, i didn’t think like that in the first place. i’m usually out even later at home anyway.”

he rubs the back of his head and laughs it off with you.

you do meet the next day at 8pm. he brings some midnight snacks that his mom made. except they’re not really midnight snacks, because you’re not trying to stay out there until midnight (spoiler: you do, because y’all yak a lot)

you guys sit on your jackets, watching the sunset. it’s the kind of temperature that’s says it was mad hot during the day, but now that the sun is going down, it’s cooled into a pleasant room temperature with an occasional warm breeze. 

for once you all don’t say much, because it’s nice to just share the moment. 

you reflect on how you’ve come to experience the area recently. most of it was the petting zoo, but sometimes you’d take up some of joshua’s suggestions about the area and report back to him how the experience was later on. 

looking out at the sun that bleeds out into the blueish black night, you think that it’s been a pretty good time here, and maybe it does have an edge on city life.

as the last of warm colors finally seep out of the sky, the moon takes over the night and the stars become more apparent than you’ve ever seen before.

seriously, it’s a scene out of a movie. you know, the wide screen shot of the protagonists staring at the sky, mystified. the panorama over the constellations that twinkle down at you, a little gift from the galaxy.

“i’ve never seen the sky like this. all the twinkling lights in the city come from the streets, and the buildings. which are pretty in their own way, i think. but Mother Nature… is really something else,” you say.

“yeah,” he says, looking at you as you’re still in awe at the sky. “something else.”

a few more moments pass, but it’s a timeless night as the sky is frozen in space.

joshua lays back on his jacket.

“hey,, maybe this is sort of crazy but.”

you turn to him, raising a brow.

“it’s been really, uh.. it’s been. really awesome getting to know you. i’ve just kind of… seen the same sorts of things all my life. the same sorts of people. i mean! of course, everyone is unique in their own way but! you know.” he takes a glance at you. “rural folks, urban folks. there’s a difference. so I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. uh, i mean i enjoy talking to you regardless of if you’re from the city or not!”

he puts a palm to his face and sighs. from behind his hand, he says, “i just like you.”

“i like you too, joshua! you’re a really great guy.”

“no, not like that. i mean. i like you.” he finally removes his hand.

you blink a little. and finally burst into a grin. “yeah. i like you too. you’re a really great guy.”

it’s his turn to blink

you lie back as well. he slowly starts to smile next to you

the stars above shine on.

yeah. this is a life you could get used to, too.

a/n: i stole the snood puns from a website i was reading sry website. hope you guys enjoyed and i had a lot of fun writing joshua this way (he’s all squishy, not exactly canon i would say lol)

[heart-eyes-kippen]

The spider

@mysticvelociraptorcaphius @byersrainbows

Thanks for the requests!! I combined these two to avoid doubling up.

~

8. “Please just hug me.”

32. “So this is the emergency? A spider?” (Changed slightly to “Is this what the emergency was? A spider?”

~

TJ could honestly say he wasn’t afraid of many things. He liked horror movies, and rollercoasters, and up-close encounters with animals that a lot of people would be terrified of.

However, there was one type of arachnid in particular that never failed to terrify the living daylights out of him - spiders - or as he liked to call them, the literal spawns of satan.

He didn’t know exactly what it was that made him so afraid, he was perfectly fine with most arachnids, but there was just something about spiders that psyched him out completely. Sometimes he couldn’t help but think it was due to some traumatic experience he had repressed from years ago, but at other times he thought it was just because they were downright creepy - anybody could see that.

This was why he was currently cowering under his kitchen table, frantically dialling his boyfriend’s number. There was a large jet black spider crawling across the ceiling, and TJ had absolutely no interest whatsoever in dealing with it alone. It was a Saturday night so his parents were out and Amber was sleeping over at Andi’s house, leaving him completely to his own devices.

TJ couldn’t help but think the universe was being unnecessarily cruel to him at that moment.

“Cyrus!” he practically yelled as soon as the boy picked up.

Not even the sounds of Cyrus’ giggling on the other end could calm TJ down now.

“TJ!” he imitated. “What’s up?”

“You have to come over right now. I don’t have time to explain but it’s an emergency.”

That had Cyrus dropping his teasing tone in an instant. “Um, okay. You know it’s 10pm right?”

“I know, but it’s really urgent!”

He heard fumbling on the other end of the call, then the faint sound of Cyrus replying “I’ll be there soon.”

TJ let out a small sigh of relief as he put his phone down, slowly peering over the edge of the table. The spider was still crawling across the ceiling, and TJ shuddered slightly at the mere sight of it.

“I can’t believe a stupid spider is holding me captive” he mumbled to no one in particular as he returned to the shelter of his kitchen table.

A glance out the window confirmed that the sky had darkened to black by now, with bright stars beginning to dot it. On any other occasion, TJ would’ve been able to appreciate them a whole lot more, but right now was not that occasion.

The next ten minutes were some of the slowest he’d ever had the displeasure of sitting through. He kept an eye on the spider at all times to make sure it wasn’t trying to relocate, and he almost had a heart attack when he found it slowly trying to lower itself onto the counter. To his complete and utter relief, the spider ended up slowly climbed back up its web, clearly sensing his fear and deciding to spare him the misery.

Apart from the occasional car driving past and the sounds of the fridge running, his house was almost completely silent. After about two minutes, he could feel himself going slightly insane because of it, so he began playing soft music from his phone.

He felt his whole body relax slightly when he heard a sharp knock at the door.

“It’s open!” he called, his gaze still firmly on the spider. It was making its way towards the wall now, and TJ had never been so grateful that Cyrus lived relatively close to him in his whole life.

He heard the front door fly open, along with a quiet “frick!” from Cyrus. It closed again with a gentle thud, then TJ heard soft footsteps padding along the carpet, making their way towards the kitchen.

“TJ?”

Cyrus sounded completely bewildered, and TJ honestly couldn’t blame him. His boyfriend was currently sat alone under a table in a dark kitchen (he didn’t want to risk dashing out from the cover and turning the light on) with 80’s music playing from his phone.

He poked his head out with a sheepish smile, pausing the music. “Hey, Cy.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh slightly as he flicked on the lights, shaking his head in amusement.

“May I ask what you’re doing under there?”

TJ shifted nervously, an embarrassed blush staining his cheeks. “Well...about that...wait! Don’t come in!”

Cyrus stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widened slightly. “Why not?”

“Because there’s a demon on the ceiling!”

Cyrus just rolled his eyes and placed a hand on his hip. “Seriously, TJ - what’s actually going on here?”

The boy sighed heavily. “There’s a spider,” he mumbled and the words were so incoherent that Cyrus didn’t catch any of it.

“I think you’re gonna have to speak up, babe.”

TJ sighed again, bowing his head in shame. “There’s a spider,” he repeated, clearer this time.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Cyrus was putting a hand over his mouth to stifle the shocked laughter escaping his lips.

“Cyrus!” he accused, unable to contain a small smile of his own.

“I’m so sorry!” the boy exclaimed, still laughing slightly as he rushed into the room and sat himself on the floor beside TJ. “It’s just...Is this what the emergency was? A spider?”

TJ took a moment to look past Cyrus at the demon as it crawled down the wall. He repressed another shudder, before shifting his gaze back towards the boy.

“Please just hug me,” he practically whimpered.

Cyrus’ smile softened at that, and he moved forward to engulf his terrified boyfriend in a hug.

“You’re so adorable,” he mumbled, smiling as he pressed kisses all over TJ’s face. The athlete blushed slightly at this, forgetting for a long moment why he was even in this mess to begin with.

“Cy,” he complained half-heartedly, not meaning it in the slightest.

The boy laughed slightly, giving TJ a pat on the head. “Okay fine, I’ll stop.”

“Wait no - don’t stop actually, it’s nice.”

Cyrus quirked an amused eyebrow at that. He climbed onto TJ’s lap for a more comfortable angle (and to avoid straining his neck) before starting up the kisses again. After a few seconds TJ felt himself melt against his boyfriend, and his eyes fluttered shut.

“So where’s the spider?” Cyrus mumbled against TJ’s lips. The athlete tensed slightly at those words, and the other boy seemed to feel it because he quickly brought his hands up to TJ’s shoulders, trying to relax them again.

“Um...” he trailed off, feeling panic begin to rise in his throat as he glanced around the room. “Oh wait - it’s above the sink!”

Cyrus followed his gaze, nodding slowly to himself. “I’ll take care of it real quick, okay? You stay here.”

“The light of my life,” TJ sighed, smiling wide at Cyrus’ responding giggle.

It was well and truly dark out now, and TJ couldn’t be more grateful that Cyrus was willing to put up with his ridiculousness at this hour. He tapped play on his music again as he watched Cyrus scan the kitchen, clearly searching for something to use.

“Can I use a page out of this?” the boy asked, lowering TJ’s large sketch book into his field of view.

“Yup!”

Cyrus nodded and carefully tore out a blank A4 page, setting the book down on the table and heading over to the spider.

“I’m sorry spider,” he began gently as he slowly positioned his cup and his piece of paper. “I’m sure you’re a cool dude, but my boyfriend doesn’t like you very much so I have to bring you outside. Is that okay?”

TJ watched the boy with a fond smile.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Cyrus said, before quickly covering it with the cup. Once he managed to slide the paper underneath, he carefully lifted it from the wall and began making his way toward the front door.

TJ couldn’t help but laugh. If Amber had been there, the spider definitely would’ve been dead within seconds.

Cyrus returned a minute or so later and washed his hands, before walking back over to TJ with an amused smile.

“Okay, babe. The threat has been officially removed.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” TJ asked him, picking his phone up and accepting the hand that Cyrus was offering.

“Many times!” he responded cheerily, interlacing their fingers. “But I love you too.”

For a few moments they lingered there, neither of them saying anything.

“TJ Kippen is afraid of spiders!” Cyrus exclaimed suddenly, before bursting into giggles. TJ fondly rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders, pulling him in.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Cyrus calmed down slightly upon hearing those words, a soft smile on his lips.

“I love you.” he mumbled, burying his face in the crook of TJ’s neck.

The athlete pressed a quick kiss to Cyrus’ hair. “I love you too,” he mumbled back, fighting back a wide smile.

[blommis-writes]

tbh I’ve always quite imagined it to be similar to my own specific experience: living in a small town which was however still bigger than the surrounding ones (of which half were crime-infested) thus having most high schools of the town being 3/4 made up of students from said surrounding crime-infested places and only the remaining 1/4 being students of the actual town... that being said, as much as I have no idea how bad public school in the US apparently is, here’s the kind of stuff that happens at an Italian highscool that’s 3/4 frequented by young aspiring criminals:

- couple of years before I started there, some dude placed a bomb in the bathroom because he had gotten a bad grade (luckily the bomb was found before it could do any harm --my third year physics teacher loved to tell us the tale of how one of her students had found it and given the warning)

- my first year there, a guy from another class got stabbed with car keys outside the school, by a guy from another school whose girlfriend apparently cheated with him

- don’t remember if it was my first or second year, one guy in my class basically built himself a small flamethrower using a lighter and a modified can of deodorant (it was full of criminals but it was still a stem-oriented highschool, hey) and at one point brought into class a bag of ping pong balls to burn holes into during break time. I hadn’t been paying attention to the shenanigans so I don’t know what and how it precisely happened, but it turns out that when under extreme heat, ping pong balls can kinda make a small explosion, and when they do they smell like Satan’s godforsaken farts.

- related to the ping pong ball episode (see above), my whole class needed saving from mass detenction because the stench was so strong it could be felt till the next hall, so even while being absolutely furious at the dumbass-ness of my peers I proposed the masterplan that would save us all, because otherwise the detenction would have been given to the class as a whole and holy cow it was not fair because I had had nothing to do with the whole thing. Better to become a criminal mastermind to avoid unjust detenction than to get assigned said unjust detenction, duh. 

- not gonna spill the beans but the plan kinda involved breaking a couple of door handles and some classmates having to get out through the window (our class was at ground floor so no biggie)

- having the classroom at ground floor meant that often some of my classmates avoided punishment for arriving late (after the school gates closed but before the professor had entered the room) by entering through the windows

- someone once shortcircuited the electric network using fricking chalk powder to avoid a test, and school was out for a whole ass week while they got it back up online

This is just the things I remember but boi those five years were sure eventful, trust me guys public school in gotham would be such an Experience™

imagine how funny it would be to go to public school in gotham

[officially-tonynat-shrine]

How the world works

Ok, so this is my very first one shot and I'm fucking excited for it. This is for @captain-ariel-barnes 4k writing challenge (Congratulations on that one!❤️). Criticism- good or bad- is welcomed because if I intend to continue I need tips. I am hoping that you like it! Also, there are a lot of time lapses. And it's long. Probably boring too since it has very less dialogues. (I was also supposed to post this on Steve's birthday buuuttttt--- eheheh)

Summary: Soulmate AU wherein the first sentence spoken appears on the left arm one to three months prior the first meet and vanishes immediately after.

Pairing: Steve x female reader // Timeline: Set after AoU

Warnings: Swearing. Foul language. Weird swears (that's on me, I'm sorry). A little OOC Steve??, nonsensical logic, // Words: around 3K, I guess?

----•••----

The 21st century was progressing faster than ever. And not only in terms of time. People were catching up with the technological advances; some easily whereas some were just coping. Steve considered himself in the second category. Anyone who knew him would definitely agree. After all, that's what happens when one decides to take a nap and wake up 70 years later.

The sudden boost in the living conditions, the sky rocketing buildings and especially the immense development in technology and science baffled him to a great extent.

But in all of this chaos, Steve found solace in the fact that soulmates still existed. It was one of the few terms he was already familiar with. Some things never change. And he fervently hoped that this never would either.

He was sitting in the common room of the new headquarters when Sam barged in. Steve looked up from his iPad and raised his eyebrows, silently questioning his partner. Sam opened his mouth and all but panted for more oxygen.

"Sometimes I think you are the old man, Wilson." Steve smirked at his friend's discomfort. "Shut up, Steroids. I got wonderful news."

Steve bolted upright upon hearing those words. They has been searching for Bucky for quite some time now. Sam recognised the anticipation in his eyes and the former's grin fell slightly.

"Sorry, Cap. No word about Weiner's whereabouts."

"I- Will you stop calling him that?!"

"Hey! We needed a code name so that people won't understand who we're talking about!"

"Yes! But" -Steve let out an exasperated sigh- "never mind. What news was it?" "I found her," Sam grinned. This was the first time he had seen Sam smiling so widely. He knew what the man meant immediately.

"Your soulmate?" "Yes." "Which store was this again?" Steve smirked. "This was the 36th store I had visited. Har har, Steve. So funny." Sam deadpanned. "I bet you'll do the same when you get yours," he added.

Steve's smile faded as he took in Sam's words. "Prepare to lose then, Birdman." He shot Sam a weak grin. Sam's shoulders slumped as he joined Steve on the couch. "Come on, man. Everyone has a soulmate! Why would you think that you won't meet yours? And" -he raised his hand stopping Steve from answering and continued- "if you think that they'll be bothered about your job then dude, you need to think again. You're Captain fricking America!"

"It's not that, Sam." "Then what is it?" "I know that I won't be seeing words etched in my skin because they don't appear twice."

Steve sighed as his fingers grazed the words on his left arm again. It wasn't necessary to know who his soulmate was when he knew he was going to get rejected anyway. Who would want a 90 pound asthmatic riddled with all the diseases in the world as their soulmate? Heavens, he couldn't even walk five yards and not get beaten into pulp.

Did you have something against running away?

Peggy Carter was one of the few people that encouraged him to keep going. He knew she wouldn't look down upon him. She wouldn't edge away in disappointment. Yet, his confidence -or lack thereof- kept him from talking to her. Then, he was taken to the lab. There, in that car, the words on his left arm vanished. And he knew that he was the luckiest of them all.

"Something's bothering you." Her voice brought him back to the present. He had immediately left for the hospital after the encounter with Sam. She was basking in the glow of the sun. He knew that what they had was now lost forever but his love for her never diminished; nor did his respect or admiration.

He smiled, trying to word his thoughts. He should have known better than that. She had always understood him even if he hadn't said a word.

"You'll find someone, Steve. My husband wasn't my soulmate, yes. But we bonded over what we had lost and we truly loved each other. That's all it requires. Faith and love."

"I don't know if I can give them the best life, Peg." "Then don't. If someone loves you wholeheartedly, then they'll love every quirk, every weakness and every strength of yours with their whole being. And when they do that, they accept you the way you are. Not the way they want you to be. All that will matter is to be by your side and lead a life together."

Steve smiled uncertainly, silently hoping that maybe -just maybe- he'd be able to achieve the same happiness his soulmate had experienced. Back in the 40s, Steve had cherished the thought of having a soulmate. A better half, figuratively and literally in his case, to spend the life with. He had been ecstatic, extremely so, when Peggy had spoken the words. But his bliss had not lasted long. The events of the war had not only taken away 70 years of what his life could have been, but also the prospective of growing old together with his soulmate. And now that he was confronted with the options of either loving someone who could eventually find their soulmate or living his life alone, he did not know which one was better.

••••×ו•••

Three weeks had passed after his chat with Peggy. After a rigorous training session with Wanda, Steve had settled comfortably on the couch and was checking out the current internet slangs. When his forearm started pricking, he assumed he must've been sitting still for too long. Nevertheless, he didn't move. A few moments later, his arm pricked again.

At first, he passed it off as an itch. Then, when the pricking persisted, he recognised the sensation. He dropped his iPad on the couch and ran towards his room. As he rolled up his left sleeve he could feel the itch subside. His heart dropped. The words had filled his forearm. He stared at the black ink. Fate was cruel. And far more so to him. His heart sank as he eyed his mark. The very first word was another man's name. He did not even bother to read the rest. Wrapping a spare bandage so that it covered his forearm, Steve swore never to look at it ever again.

||»»||

When (Y/N) was younger, she had always wondered how she'll meet her soulmate. She had heard wonderful anecdotes from near and dear ones. She would eagerly await her maternal grandparents' arrival. Their stories about soulmates were always fascinating to her. Her favourite was certainly the beautiful tale of her grandparents' meeting. But all of it changed when she turned ten. When her mother met her soulmate.

(Y/N)'s grandparents were lucky enough to have met their spouses at an early age. Her parents were not so fortunate. Simply put, they were not soulmates. Her father had met his soulmate but fate had snatched them away from him. His wounds were still fresh when he had met (Y/N)'s mother. They had been cautious about their feelings for each other due to obvious reasons. (Y/N)'s mother had waited patiently for months for her soulmate mark to appear. When months turned into years, they couldn't deny the inevitable attraction they felt. Within a year of marriage, (Y/N) was born and their family was happier than ever. That was until her mother's mark had appeared.

By age fifteen, (Y/N) had two dads whom she loved equally and a mom whom she loved unconditionally. She thanked the Lord everyday for such caring and understanding parents. But now, at twenty four years of age, she had started to wonder whether her fate would be like her father or her mother.

•

She wasn't exceptionally late for her evening shift- only by five minutes. She was sure that her boss would excuse her for her slight tardiness. (Y/N) started folding her pyjamas when she felt a jab in her left arm. She dropped the cloth and yelped. As she drew her arm nearer for better view her eyes widened.

"What the fuck?!" (Y/N) was positive that her screams had reached her neighbour's apartment but she couldn't care less. She scrambled around and picked up her phone to call her boss.

"Hey, Francine! I'm so sorry for such a late notice but I won't be able to make it today. I'm really not feeling well. I'll make it up by working extra tomorrow, I promise. Can I take a leave today, please?"

After being assured by Francine that there was no need to work extra the next day and to take care of herself, she cut the call. Hastily grabbing a jacket she ran out of her apartment praying that her best friend would be home at this hour.

(Y/N) rang Claire's bell three times and waited. She had called her up on her way to the latter's house and explained the situation briefly. It would have hardly been a minute when she heard a string of curses from inside the house. The door opened to reveal Claire with an anticipating look on her face. She pulled (Y/N) in and shut the door.

"Did you really get your mark?!" She screeched happily.

"Hi, (Y/N)! I haven't seen you in so long! You got your soulmate mark too! I hope you two live happily, (Y/N)!" taunted (Y/N).

"Oh hush, you finally got your mark!!! Will you show it to me? Please?" Claire begged.

"Patience, my dear Claire." The former teased her friend.

"Oh please, I'll learn to be patient when you learn to swear less." "Touché."

(Y/N) rolled up the sleeve of her jacket and thrust her arm in Claire's direction.

"What the fuck! Who even speaks like that?!"

"I know, right! I just hope whoever they are, they turn out to be drunk. That's the only plausible explanation to this." (Y/N) frantically points at her mark.

Claire was pleasantly surprised by her best friend's mark. Out of all the hilarious marks she had seen or read about online, this had to be the most absurd. Nevertheless, she vowed never let (Y/N) live that down.

••••× Five Days Later ו•••

Tony had decided to visit the new facility and Vision had taken to giving him a tour of the newly renovated spaces.

Wanda and Vision, both, had noticed something off with the Captain for quite a few days. He would always be agitated. Quite a few times, Wanda had even managed to get him startled and she recalled that every single time she had touched his left shoulder. They had consulted with Sam, who himself was worried about his friend, and had decided that they'll all talk it out of him during dinner. Tony being present had added to their manpower. Consequently, the billionaire was made aware of the plan too.

Dinner was usually a loud affair in the new Avengers Headquarters. But that night, the awkwardness could be sensed from a mile away. Steve was getting irritated by their vague behaviour. At last, he broke the silence.

"Alright, which one of you is going to tell me what happened?" Wanda and Sam had been eyeing each other for the past five minutes.

Sam cleared his throat before asking, "What is up with you, Cap? You are always distracted. Have been for almost five days now."

Steve's eyes widened at the accusation- however accurate- Sam had thrown at him so blandly. He composed himself as quickly and shook his head, refusing to open his mouth lest he blurted out everything. The futile exchange went back and forth for a few minutes until Tony, who had quietly been watching, spoke up.

"Listen, Spangles. We are all worried about you. And if you deny anything these three have said" -he waved his hand at Wanda, Sam and Vision, before continuing- "then I'll tell you want they have been wanting to say but can't just because they respect your stupid ass decision to not speak out. I call bullshit. Cap, if you say that you haven't been acting weird then I'll kindly remind you that this building is run by F.R.I.D.A.Y who'll be more than glad to show footages of anything I ask. Look," he sighed, "we are a team, man. And if you don't trust us then we can't help you. You'll have to open up, dude."

Steve stared at Tony, overwhelmed by his speech. He blinked a few times and sat straight, clearing his throat in the process.

"Okay, I- Look, this is- well, extremely weird and I, I didn't want to burden you guys. But-" "Spit it out, Steve." Wanda reprimanded him lightly.

"My soulmate mark appeared a few days ago." He put his head in his hands and sighed defeatedly.

•

Laughter rang across the room as Sam tried to support himself on the dining table.

"You have got to be kidding me," he barked out amidst coughs. "Do I look like I am kidding you, Sam?" Steve snarled. "My god, Cap. I want to meet this person. They sound wonderful," Sam wheezed.

"Sure, I'll tell them that you're a fan of their work methods." "Stop sassing me, old man."

After a hour of relentless pestering, Steve had undone his bandage and read out his mark- or had at least tried to read it out aloud, before turning red in embarrassment. Wanda had tried to avoid laughing in his face but Tony was laughing so hysterically that it set her off too. Steve's only consolation was that Vision was smiling apologetically at him. As he tuned out his surroundings only one question lingered in his mind- How was this possible?

||»»||

(Y/N) had almost completed her evening shift when she heard the shop's bell ringing. She looked up from the shelves she was arranging and plastered a smile to greet the newcomer. It did not last long.

"Andrew." She seethed.

"Why, hello (Y/N)." The man in question drawled amusedly.

"What do you want?" (Y/N) couldn't avoid the distaste in her voice.

"Can't I drop by to say hi to you?" Andrew flashed a smirk. Annoyed, you quick to reply.

"Well then, hi to you too. Now if you're not going to be buying anything then please leave."

"Ah,in that case, I happen to remember something I had to buy!" He threw a sly, victorious glance at the woman and sauntered towards the grocery aisle. (Y/N) bit her tongue. She had dug her own grave and now she had to lay in it. Furious, she went back to rearranging the shelves.

||»»||

Steve was craving for a few hours of peace. After the eventful dinner, Steve decided to retire early and returned to his quarters. He sat on his bed, resting his head on the wall for a few minutes. He remembered storing some of Thor's infamous Asgardian Mead in his room. He took a bottle out from the wine cabinet and downed it in one go. Wrong move on his part but he wouldn't regret it until later. Yearning some clear air, Steve grabbed his hoodie and walked out of the tower. He informed F.R.I.D.A.Y. of his plans and exited the compound. He walked onto the busier streets and scanned a few shops hoping to find one without many people. The night crowd was chattering away, not sparing a single glance at him. As he neared the quieter end of the street he peered inside a modest general store. He thanked his lucky stars and entered the nearly empty shop.

||»»||

(Y/N) did not hear the door bell chime as she muttered angrily under her breath. But she did hear footsteps approaching her. Her thoughts immediately went to Andrew, and, without releasing that he had already left the shop she spun around and spewed curses at the poor unsuspecting soul.

"Andrew, I swear if you as much as open your mouth I'll cut your dick and shove it in your fucking mouth."

"OMG, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to- wait what?"

Steve's jaw slackened as he registered the words the employee had uttered. He tried to subtly observe her. She looked beautiful. Of course, as he later reflected upon his thoughts, his opinion would be considered biased.

The duo hurriedly checked their left arms only to see the last trace of their soulmate marks vanish.

It's him. It's really him. (Y/N) gaped at the burly man in front of her. He looked familiar but she couldn't place her finger on it. The man lowered his hoodie and she couldn't help but gasp.

"You're fucking Captain America!" (Y/N) yelped.

"No, you mig- NO, no! I'm sorry, ma'am! I shouldn't have barged in like that." Steve mentally slapped himself for trying to crack such a vulgar joke. He made a mental note to not drink so much of the Mead and to stop spending time with Sam and Tony when they were drunk.

(Y/N) raised her eyebrows indicating that she had caught onto the unintentional innuendo. She tried not to laugh when Steve became all flustered and stumbled apology after apology.

When Steve heard her giggle, he stopped blabbering and glanced at her.

"Okay, how about we forget what happened and start afresh? Hi, I'm Steve." He smiled at her hopefully and extended his hand.

A smirk formed on her lips as she shook his hand, "Oh no, we most certainly won't forget it. I'm (Y/N)."

•••×ו••

It had been a month after they had found each other and Steve and (Y/N)'s relationship was evergreen and blossoming. Steve had taken (Y/N) to meet the Avengers. Much to Steve's dismay, they had bonded over making fun of him. The unfinished innuendo was now a running joke amongst the heroes. And although Steve would never admit it, he secretly cherished the fact that his family and his girlfriend - gosh, he still couldn't stop the smile from adorning his face at that thought- got along so well.

(Y/N) had kindly returned the favour by introducing Steve to Claire who, after the initial shock (and fainting which she would deny until her dying day), was over the moon.

Andrew was surprisingly never mentioned again and the pair was happy to keep it that way for sometime.

But as the days passed, Steve's thoughts dwelled on the impossibility of the situation. He was growing more anxious to know the answer to his query.

"You're killing me there, Cap. What's bothering your old brain?"

Steve broke from his reverie to see Tony standing in front of him. There was no one else in the common room that day, to Steve's astonishment. He sighed and signaled Tony to sit down with him.

"I still don't get it, pal. Two soulmates for one person? Is that even possible? The more I think about it, the more it feels as if this will be snatched away from me."

Tony regarded Steve's words and said, "You remember what you had told me after Ultron? Outside the facility?"

"That I wasn't sure about a family?" Steve scrunched his eyebrows. "Yeah, I do. But what does that have to do with this?" He asked, puzzled.

"Remember you had told me that someone else had come out of the ice? See, soulmates compliment their partner's souls. Not the physical body. You may look like the same person, even behave the same but your soul has changed, hasn't it? You see things very differently than the way you did before. Granted, this happens to others too but the magnitude isn't as great as yours. Your outlook on the world and yourself has changed drastically. Okay," Tony waved his hands around, " this isn't making much sense, but maybe that's how the world works. You've been out of the ice for quite some time now and (Y/N) has always lived here. There was a heavy chance that you could've met before. But your mark appeared only after you accepted that the person you are now and the person you were before are not at all the same. Then, Peggy complimented your soul. Now, it's (Y/N)."

"I think I do get it, Tony." Steve smiled at him. "Maybe that is how the world works."

[we-killed-parker]

Deadly Deals

Class of 198x 

Ships: OT4, but Amanda and Mike are the only characters present.

Note: Fake 198x/Fakes of 198x/Fake8x, I don’t know what to call this au 😅 In this AU, Mike doesn't work with his SO's very often, preferring to stay clean and manage his moving company, but he lends a hand when any of them need his help. AU co-created by @ryanthemadbitch! Warnings: there’s guns, there’s a fight, everyone makes it out alive.

Read on Ao3 // Read the other fic from this AU

“I don't understand why I'm here.” Mike grumbled, glancing up and down the back alley for the twentieth time. They stood against the wall next to a dumpster, a dim bare bulb above them casting shadows across their faces.

“Cause I need backup and Sam and Hannah are busy.” Amanda said. She crossed her arms, her shiny blue purse dangling from her forearm. Mike didn't want to be there, he had made it abundantly clear the entire way over and for the past five minutes as they waited.

“What are they doing?”

“Restocking. Tito tipped Sam off to a small stash down at the precinct and was going to make sure they were clear to get to it, though only through the vents, so Sam and Hannah would be the only ones that can get to it.”

Mike shook his head, “I still don't trust Tito. I don't know why you guys deal with him.”

“He's dirty and cheap to pay off, and he's been more helpful than anything so far. Don't worry hon, we're keeping an eye on him. If he so much as thinks about turning on us, we'll make his life hell.”

Mike grunted. He saw no reason to trust the dirty cop, but he didn't doubt his three significant others could handle him.

Amanda glanced down at her wrist, noting the time on her watch when Mike elbowed her and she looked towards the mouth of the alley. Three men in button up shirts and suit jackets had just turned the corner and were walking up to them, a cocky swagger in their steps. The two behind the leader carried a crate between them.

“Was about to think you weren't coming,” she said in greeting, pushing herself off the wall. Mike stood next to her, tall and intimidating at her shoulder. She could see the lead guy eyeing Mike up, his expression wary. Good. That's what she had hoped for bringing him along.

“Wouldn't miss it for the world, baby girl.” The leader took his eyes away from Mike and purred at her. She felt like she was going to hurl, this guy was actually trying to flirt with her? She could hear the change in Mike's breathing, evening out as he attempted to keep himself calm.

“Yeah, we're not going there, Allen, just show me the goods.” She said.

“You got the money?”

“Show me the goods, Allen.”

Allen glared at her, but snapped his fingers as he stepped back. The two dropped the crate at her feet and pulled the lid off. In the crate was a pile of weapons, on the left were three pistols, each wrapped in police standard leather holsters, and to the right was a box of smoke and fragment grenades. She could see at the bottom of the crate there was the rifle she had requested as well. On top of it all though was a wooden bat, the handle wrapped in red and black grip tape.

“Didn't ask for a bat.” She said.

“Oh gosh, how did that get in there, that's my favorite bat.” Allen said with badly feigned surprise. He scooped up the bat, twirling it by the end of the handle before leaning it against his shoulder.

“We said no weapons, Allen.”

“Could say the same thing to you.” He said, side-eyeing Mike.

“I'm not allowed to bring a partner when you brought two?”

Allen shrugged and gave her a lopsided smile. “You want this or not?”

“Not. Have a good night, gentlemen.” She said, pivoting on the heel of her gogo pumps.

In an instant she heard the snap of Allen's fingers, followed by the crack of a gunshot and Mike's hand was on her shoulder shoving her to the side. She stumbled and barely got her hands up to protect her face before she landed hard on the ground. She rolled onto her back, her feet caught between Mike's as he stood over her. She looked up just in time to see Allen strike Mike in the side, the bat connecting hard with his ribs. Mike grunted but retaliated with a punch, the hit swinging just past Allen's nose as he ducked back. The goon with a gun turned it on Mike, who grabbed the guys hand, forcing his arm up just as he fired, the bullet whizzing over Mike's head and into the brick wall of the alley. He twisted the guys wrist and forcibly disarmed him, throwing the gun away. The other goon came from the other side and landed a punch to the side of Mike's head, making him stumble back and fall to one knee with a grunt.

“Mike!” Amanda shrieked, trying to sit up and help him. He extended his arm behind him and held his palm towards her, signaling her to stop, stay back and stay out of danger. She didn't want to listen, but she couldn't get up with the way he was straddling her legs.

He managed to get to his feet, stepping to the side to have solid footing without her legs in the way and getting into a stance before the now weaponless goon was on him, a flurry of punches that he managed to block with his forearms. He shoved the guys arms outwards, leaving his chest open and landing a solid kick to his chest, sending him reeling backwards.

Before he could get his feet back under him Allen was swinging for his ribs again, this time landing a hit hard enough to break ribs with a sickening crack. Mike roared at him, swinging wildly with his fists. Allen weaved and bobbed, avoiding every punch before rearing back for another swing of the bat.

It struck true on the right side of Mike's head, sending him reeling. He spun nearly all the way around and collapsed, landing heavily on Amanda and driving the breath out of her chest. She lay there gasping, trying to get even the smallest amount of air in her lungs.

“Well, that went a little far. Do you still want this?” Allen asked, gesturing to the crate. He stepped next to her, placing a boot on Mike's back. She could only lay there glaring up at him, lack of air leaving her silent. “No, you don't? How about your purse? I assume that's where the money is?” He pressed down on Mike's back, putting more weight on her chest. The only response she could give was a wheeze. “Alright, no response is a yes in my books, so I'll be taking that too.” He reached down, snatching the purse from her arm. He slung it over his shoulder, striking a pose with it and the bat being used as a cane before smirking at her and walking back to the crate.

“Hey! Hey, are you ok?” Someone hollered from the street. “Oh shit, what's going on here?”

Allen snapped his fingers and his goons scooped up the crate between them and all three booked it down the alley in the opposite direction of the bystander.

As soon as she could breathe again Amanda started shrieking, her throat burning as she screamed for someone to help. Mike's head was just off her shoulder, his breath inconsistent against the side of her neck and she could see blood spreading through his hair. “Help! Somebody help! We've been robbed!”

The man that yelled was next to them in short order, his feet skidding on the cracked pavement. “Miss? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine,” she said. She couldn't get up, laden as she was by Mike's weight and her arms pinned at an awkward angle. “Mike! Mike, wake up. Please, Mike!” Her eyes watered, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks at the sight of Mike so still, so limp against her. “Please, I can't lift him.”

“Shit, yeah, he's a big guy,” the man commented, rolling Mike off of her.

She latched onto Mike, making the man drag her with him with her fingers knotted in Mike's t-shirt. Her eyes burned with tears and she could feel her throat tightening, a sob ripping its way from her chest painfully.

“Ma’am, please let go,” the man said, putting his hand firmly on her shoulder, “Let me get a look at him.”

“No, he’s my boyfriend! Mike, please wake up!” She couldn’t stop babbling. No matter the risks they took, the fights they got in, she could never get used to seeing any of her partners injured, but Mike most of all. He was always so strong, so steady. She had seen him fall before, almost lost him a couple times even, but it was painful to watch every time. God, what she would do for one of those tubes of healing goo right then. He wasn't even supposed to be here, he didn't want to be involved in this part of her life and yet here he was, bleeding in an alley he never should have been in.

She barely registered the man asking her questions until he put his hand on her shoulder again. “Ma’am, I need to go get help, will you be ok for a couple of minutes?”

She nodded, sniffing back tears as she tried to compose herself. The guy took off out if the alley again, barely disappearing around the corner before Amanda was trying to wake Mike.

“Mike? Can you hear me? Come on big guy, we need to get out of here.” She said, tapping his cheek.

He groaned, rolling his head away from her and then blinking his eyes open. “'Manda?”

“Yeah, it's me, I'm here Mike!”

“Are you ok?”

“Am I ok? What the fuck dude, you just got your ass beat and you're asking me if I'm ok?” She couldn't believe he was actually thinking of her at this moment and slapped his chest.

That was a bad idea. Mike clenched his jaw and his whole body nearly curled in on himself, his arms coming up to protect his ribs. “Ow! What the frick, that hurts.”

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry, that was so stupid and I shouldn't have done that.” She winced, pulling her hands away.

“I'm definitely awake now,” Mike coughed out.

“Can you stand? We need to get out of here before that guy comes back.”

“One way to find out.”

It took a minute of moving very slowly, but Mike was finally on his feet, leaning heavily on Amanda for support as they walked deeper into the alley and out the other side to where their car was parked. With Mike in the passenger seat and Amanda driving, they started the drive back home. Amanda hoped Sam and Hannah would be home by the time they got there to help take care of Mike. She felt so guilty, asking him to come with her only to wind up with him so injured.

It was quiet in the car for a few minutes, Mike had slouched in his seat against the door with his eyes closed. She glanced over at him a few times until he finally broke the silence.

“If you have something to say, just say it. I can hear you thinking from here.”

“I just… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bringing you along and getting you hurt.”

He half opened one eye, squinting at her. “And what would you have done without me? If Sam and Hannah couldn't be there and I wasn't there, I don't think Allen would have let you off easy.” He closed his eye again. “And I don't know what we would do without you.” He added with a whisper. Amanda was surprised to feel his hand on her arm, gently tugging until she took her hand off of the steering wheel and letting him fit his fingers in between hers. He didn't initiate contact very often and she nearly swerved off the road in shock.

“I-I don't know what we would do without you either, Mike.”

Mike squeezed her hand and let their hands fall to the seat between them, fingers still entwined.

“You saved my life.”

Mike grunted in agreement.

“Thank you.”

Another grunt and then silence filled the car again.

“I'll probably do it again, but please. Just leave me to my boxes when possible.” Mike said, the hint of a laugh in his voice.

Amanda squeezed his hand before letting go to turn into their driveway to park next to Sam’s van. “I'll do my best,” she said with a laugh.

[shirtlesssammy]

7x23: Survival of the Fittest

The Road So Far:

I just want to give a GIANT shoutout to everyone in fandom that survived this and stuck around. I know in my heart my interest would plummet without Cas. Season 7 was brutal.

Now:

We find Crowley and Dick Roman sharing a business Scotch and negotiating how they’re going to divvy up Earth once the Leviathan master the human race. Demons get Canada. Leviathan need America though. (“They’re so fat.”)

In return for this generous offer? Crowley must give “Frick and Frack” imposter blood (as part of the cocktail that will kill Dick Roman.) They agree, and because Dick Roman doesn’t “kiss on the mouth” to seal his deals, Crowley unfurls a standard writer that stretches 10 feet. Lol.

Sam and Dean, meanwhile, are on the road trying to locate a righteous bone. Sam suggests contacting Cas again. For the record, I believe when Dean says “Dude, on my car” he’s making an oath that Cas made an appearance naked and covered in bees, not that he showed up naked, covered in bees, on Dean’s car. Either way, Dean was there and Cas was naked. But there were bees.

The boys arrive at a nunnery crypt and find the perfect bone, Sister Mary Constant. “Let’s bone this nun.” Oh Dean, always a way with words.

Crowley and Roman finish their negotiations.

Sam and Dean perform a summoning spell for Crowley. (Ah, was it during Dean and Crowley’s summer of love that they finally got him on speed dial?) Crowley doesn’t show, but Meg does. And she has a friend along with her: Cas.

He’s currently jamming out to some serious emo soft rock in the car. 

(Sidenote: Cas and Jack wave the same way. My heart.)

Dean is showing very, very, very little patience for his dear, damaged friend, but I know he cares so I’ll let his posturing and toxic attitude slide for right now. Cas does have serious questions about monkeys and cosmetics. Indulge the angel, Dean.

Once inside, Cas continues to act and say strange things. In his own broken way, he lets the brothers know that the angel garrison protecting Kevin is gone. Dean, in his usual football coach aggression, scares Cas, who does not want to deal with conflict. (I do love Dean’s line “We’re worried.” His worry manifests itself through anger throughout the series.)

Meg notices the demon summoning spell materials and is about to ditch when Crowley finally makes his appearance.

Crowley is less than pleased to see the angel. Cas dives into a nice, rambling diatribe about insects and honey (and a THOUSAND Cas + bees fics were born.) There is meta out there about this but I just can’t find it right now. Sigh, it was really good. Crowley doesn’t want to torture Cas if he’s not all there, so he hands the boys his blood, or is it? He says it is, but also says not to trust anyone.

He then tells Meg that she can stay with Cas until they handle Dick Roman.

Meanwhile, Bobby in the body of a hotel maid, is well on his way to becoming a vengeful spirit.

Dick Roman makes plans in case Crowley double crosses him. It involves an arm.

We briefly check in with Kevin Tran at SucroCorp Headquarters. His allies aren’t the sharpest blades in the drawer.

The brothers soak the righteous bone in the blood.

Nothing happens so Sam and Dean have no idea if it worked. Cas flaps in (I miss his wings) to present the (I proofread that as “his”. Brb, weeping) brothers with sandwiches. (His monitoring of the ingredients and comforting the pig before slaughtering it? Don’t touch me.) 

And when Dick Roman asked for the arm, he meant a literal frozen arm, wristwatch still intact.

While Kevin awaits his fate, he’s presented with dinner, a Biggerson’s burger. “I’m a vegan.” Not for long, buddy. You’re going to be living off of hot dogs soon enough.  

Kevin escapes with the help of his purloined hairpins and overhears a board meeting fronted by Dick Roman. He's discussing business strategy, including how they're going to divide America up to perfect their plan of industrialized leviathan feeding. This is all delivered in a cheerfully upbeat business-speak manner as they enjoy sushi made from fresh orphan.

When Kevin's heard enough, he heads straight for the exit, but is confronted by Dick's assistant.

Dean and Sam sit in a car and tap into Sucrocorp's security cameras. (They thank Charlie for it and I smile just to hear her name mentioned.) To their dismay, they discover that Sucrocorp is now overrun with Dick Romans, or a bunch of dicks, as the show might phrase it.

In the boardroom, Dick has Polly take off her dress and draws attention to her slight build. (Gross) He injects her with a drug that will be targeted to all skinny Americans. As it takes effect in Polly, she begins to spasm and foam at the mouth. She collapses quickly to the floor.

Sam notices a truck pull up outside of Sucrocorp and recognizes the maid as she gets out of the truck. He sees ectoplasm dripping from her, puts two and two together, and bails on the stakeout so he can go retrieve Bobby. He confronts Bobby in a back alley as the security camera whirls around. Bobby brandishes the knife at Sam, telling him to leave. When Sam refuses, Bobby slams Sam against the side of the car and chokes him. It's only when Bobby sees his reflection in the side of the car that he withdraws, horrified.

Back at the cabin, we learn that the woman Bobby possessed is doing much better. Sam then switches over to talking about the leviathan hunt and reveals the multiple Dicks. Cas looks perturbed by the news. “Hey, Shifty, what's your problem?” Dean asks. DEAN

“Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?” Cas says, deflecting. (Me: But seriously, YES) He refuses to get involved since he destroyed everything.

“Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess,” Dean shouts. This causes Cas to flap off and Meg informs Dean that Cas is the only one who can recognize the real fake Dick. They need him.

Later, Sam and Dean spin their wheels trying to figure out how to tackle their Dick problem when Bobby appears. He tells them he's going vengeful now that he's in the Veil, and begs them to burn the flask. Cut to a little while later, standing around a bed of hot coals. It's all feelings and no hugs in this little funeral scene and Dean chucks Bobby's flask into the coals. As the flask burns, a light illuminates Sam's and Dean's face. And then...Bobby is gone.

Jump to later, where Cas is busily playing games when Dean approaches him for help. He's not asking for a soldier. Instead, he just needs a lift to get to his car. They flap into a little storage garage with a covered car. Cas muses on their approaching assault on Sucrocorp. If Sam and Dean die, they're heroes. But if Cas dies he's just doing what he can to fix his own stupidity. Although, he also entertains the possibility that he'll die and get brought back again. “It's a punishment,” he tells Dean about his last three resurrections. OUCH, man.  

Dean delivers his own brand of pep talk in reply. “I'd rather have you, cursed or not. Nut up, alright? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you?” He's angry and defensive, but Cas starts to smile anyway. He detects a note of forgiveness in Dean. Cas vows to go with Dean and help out.

It's gray, it's rainy, but that doesn't stop Baby from squealing tires and generally being amazing. The Impala tears into Sucrocorp headquarters to the strains of Born to Be Wild.

Meg emerges, armed with borax and a knife. Dean, Castiel, and Sam are already inside, having slipped in while Meg distracted security outside. They hastily go from room to room checking for Dick Romans.

Outside, demons accost Meg. Crowley is moving in.

Sam rescues Kevin, who convinces him to stick around and blow up Sucrocorp's lab. In the lab, Dick is delicately sampling lethal creamer when Dean and Cas show up and slice up the chief lab tech leviathan. 

Dean pulls out the bone weapon, Dick lunges for Dean, and Cas tosses Dean out of the way and hurls himself at Dick. Dick easily chucks Cas across the room. This gives Dean the perfect opportunity to stab Dick right in the chest, but it seems to have no effect. Dick's still walking and talking and being smarmy. But then Dean opens his jacket and pulls another sharpened bone from a front, inner pocket vast enough to hold and conceal a giant bone (who MAKES these coats and where can I find one?) Cas pulls Dick's head back, baring his throat long enough to allow Dean to stab Dick right through the neck.

Dick Roman snarls angrily and begins to pulse with energy. He cackles before exploding into black goo.

Sam picks up his head to look around the lab moments after the explosion. It's empty of anyone but him and Kevin. While it's spattered with black goo, Dean and Cas are gone.

Enter Crowley, who happily tells Sam that without Dick Roman leading them, the leviathans are easy picking for his demon army. The bone weapon had a kick and dragged Dean and Cas off to Purgatory. Crowley nabs Kevin for his own, then leaves Sam alone in the lab as he silently freaks out.

Dean wakes up in a forest to Cas tersely ordering him to wake up. Cas tells Dean that they're in Purgatory and it's full of monsters and...even worse...leviathans. Dean turns to see red eyes glowing in the woods and tells Cas it's time to go...but Cas has already flapped away, leaving Dean alone. 

Random findings and food for thought:

7x23/13x10 parallels

Dean needs Cas to get Dick

Starry, Starry Quotes:

Here we are, negotiating like proper psychopaths.

Let's bone this nun

Go ask him, he was your boyfriend first.

How important is lipstick to you, Dean?

You have no sense of poetry.

Where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles

Please accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.

We should play Twister.

I see now. It's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[bigfanofyoi]

I get the arguments but like??? Who will buy the toys/installations?? With what money?? With what time will I play/stimulate him ENOUGH??? And heck, where can I install these sheds and stuff???? With no back yard?? And while renting rooms???

As for the toys mentioned in posts above, he really did not interact. When he had some available previously, he did not give a rats ass about them. Too much pride to engage.

Congrats on your gardens and wall sized windows though, definitely representing an average household there

I turned 22 on 19th, he turned 13 on 20th, do the math before y'all sweep in with the whole "you shouldn't be buying a pet if you can't afford him" argument

I provide him with water while he's outdoors, expensive ass food and meds, and sunscreen and he spends all his time while I'm away working just chilling outside

He welcomes me home, spends some time at home with me then begs to go right back out.

So far he's only killed 3 shrews that he's brought back home. 0 birds. Infact, he ignores them. Pays literally no attention to them, likely because he isn't fit enough to hunt them down.

We play occasionally, but he gets overstimulated and runs away. We go on walks (I walk, he follows and climbs me in case of danger). He's super curious, but only goes to public footpaths when he feels adventurous during evening/night. Other than that he just sleeps in the hedges awaiting my return/for me to take him on a walk while I'm home.

You're damn right about him being a dumbass with a high chance of him playing stupid around cars over but other than that, what else can be done?? He was so depressed (although I definitely felt WAYYYY more love as he'd do everything with me) when he was home at all times aside from 30 odd minutes daily while I lived solo in a house and could afford to keep the front door open for a bit. He just sat on the porch and stared. Poor thing couldn't even get around. Tried taking him on walks on a leash twice. We got attacked SEVERAL TIMES in that goddamn park because idiots do not leash their fricking dogs. Never again. My cat won't approach other animals and will stay by my side during leashless walks, and is a stubborn lil shit when leashed, despite me trying to train him in this new area too, he just never took to it.

This doesn't work for everyone

I wish i had the privilege of setting my pet up with the very very best but literally ALL of my money that doesn't go towards bills goes directly to fund his survival. No extras can be afforded. Feel free to donate and I will purchase enrichment stuff (and provide proof) if you wanna help out with this situation, but other than that?? Me letting my cat do what he enjoys doesn't make me a bad owner. He's not hurting anyone but the single digits of shrews either. Let the old dude live his last decade on Earth in peace

Feel free to unfollow me right now if you believe it’s okay to endanger your house cat or the local native fauna it absolutely will kill by allowing it outside unsupervised/off lead.

Outdoor cats have a lifespan of 2-5 years. Indoor cats regularly live 15+, even getting up to 20+ sometimes. Unsupervised indoor-outdoor cats often don’t make it past 5 and the ones that do are a very lucky exception. Why?

They get hit by cars. They get attacked by other animals (predators or other pets like dogs) including other cats. They eat things that are toxic to them. They get killed by other humans. They contract diseases like FIV and FelV.

Even if your cat DOES live longer than 5 years, cats that go outside are responsible for the deaths of billions of birds and other small fauna per year. There have been studies done on this. It’s not people pulling stuff out of their asses, it’s something scientists literally studied and reported results on. Don’t believe me? Google “do cats kill wildlife” and have a read. They’re on the IUCN’s list of worst invasive species and have contributed to the extinction of 60+ species, and they continue to cause a problem for other threatened species of small animals.

If you think it’s okay to expose your cat to these hazards and potentially cut its lifespan by more than half, if you think it’s okay to allow your cat to kill native fauna to indulge it’s “natural instincts” instead of, I don’t fucking know, playing with it with toys literally designed to allow it to safely indulge those instincts, then you have no business following me.

I’m not here to indulge your whimsy about how cats “need” to be outside unsupervised to be stimulated and lead a happy life- I can assure you, they don’t. There are p l e n t y of enrichment devices and structures people can buy or make to ensure that their cats lead happy, full lives indoors to the ripe old age they are supposed to lived to.

You also have the option of lead training your cat if you really believe they need to go out. This is something that proponents of “let cats go outside” ignore almost completely. They somehow believe that it’s all or nothing- either the cat lives 100% indoors without ever seeing sunlight OR it’s let outside without supervision where it can be injured, killed, or cause harm to the environment. Those aren’t the only choices. Cats adapt to leads very easily. They don’t like it the first couple of times, usually, but also usually when they figure out lead=outside, they get over it and the best of both worlds gets to happen- your cat remains safely under your supervision where it cannot come to or deliver harm, and it gets to go outside.

TL;DR Letting your house cat outside unsupervised is extremely dangerous both for your cat and the local wildlife and people arguing otherwise can see themselves out the door because I’m not about people endangering animals out of willful ignorance. You, along with every other pet owner out there, have a responsibility to protect your pets to the best of your abilities, and choosing not to do so in some misguided attempt to indulge their whims is poor animal husbandry. Any argument to the contrary is just an excuse to continue doing things which put animals in danger.

[jonathantaylorthomas]

Spencer Pratt’s track by track reputation review

1. "...Ready for It?"

It’s such a "here we go, boom," turning the ignition on her Lamborghini or whatever she wants to have. That’s the vibe it has. "In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby" — that right there, even with all the new songs, hits me so hard. I’ve heard it now a thousand times and every time it makes me sing to the clouds. That is poetic, like some shit Robert Frost would have been writing back in the day. Now that I know it’s the first on the album, it’s just even more powerful. It’s showing the swag that she’s gonna bring. Are you ready for it? I wasn’t actually ready for it. And the "let the games begin" — she already knows all the haters are gonna be out here. All the little blogs, all the little posts. Let the games begin. She knows she just brought this heat on so many people.

I’m so torn because I’m such a Kardashian diehard. I’m in such a weird predicament in this situation because she gets me so angry at Kim and Kanye on this album. It’s gonna be weird being a Kim fan post-Reputation. I’ll see how I can handle it. Maybe I’ll just only love Kris Jenner because you can’t blame Kris for anything.

2. "End Game"

Here’s the thing with "End Game." Future is one of my top 10 all-time, so when I saw the track list leak and I saw Future on it I was so excited. Heidi thinks it’s fine. She thinks I’m way too Swift ganged out, she’s like, "He barely spits eight bars, Spencer." I’m like, "Yeah, those could have been eight bars of Taylor lyrics." That’s how deep I am right now in the Taylor gang where I didn’t need either of them on that song. I don’t need to hear Ed Sheeran rapping. When he started singing I was like, "OK, homie’s got pipes." I’m feeling those singing parts. But him rapping with his Irish accent, I was like, "Come on now." I don’t need this in my life. I don’t need Taylor to be on any records with anybody, just like I wouldn’t need Michael Jackson to be on a record with somebody. At a certain level you’re only wanting to hear that person because they’re a damn superstar. But I started liking it because my conspiracy mind was like, "Ooo, maybe Future doesn’t like Kanye and there’s more to this." Like he hit Taylor up like, "Yo fuck Yeezy, let me get on a record with you." Future’s eight billion times doper than Kanye so it’s kinda like, "I don’t need Kanye West I got Future on my team." I hope Kanye’s now like, "Damn, Future’s riding with her." That makes me like it, if there’s a conspiracy that Future wanted to piss off Kanye.

3. "I Did Something Bad"

This should be the next single, one billion percent. I hope she spends $10 million on the damn music video. I don’t know what she did bad, so I think that’s the joke. I feel that. Because I didn’t do anything bad and I got straight up hated on The Hills for somebody lying about their own thing they were lying about and I become the liar and the leaker. I love this because I’m like, "OK, if I did something bad it feels so good because you’re the damn liar." I’m thinking she’s referencing this whole Snapchat thing, I don’t know. I’m sure the Swiftie YouTubers will break it down better than I will. For me, I relate to it because I didn’t do anything bad and I got hated and I have no idea why people hate on Taylor. Because she wants to have a really good image? Because she didn’t go out like Katy Perry and act like she’s some damn politician in the media? I don’t know wanna know who Taylor votes for. I don’t care. I wanna hear hit damn records out of her and that’s it. I wanna see her go on dates in Rome with frickin' Tom Hiddleston. That’s what I wanted to see, not her running around with Hillary Clinton. I’m sure people are like, "She could have stopped Trump." No she couldn’t, people! Hello, Hillary won the popular vote! What, is she gonna switch the electoral college vote? I don’t think so, so everyone needs to move off of, “Oh, I hate Taylor because she didn��t campaign enough.” I hate that shit. She’s a frickin’ pop star.

4. "Don't Blame Me"

This one’s amazing. This is what I imagine I’m gonna play when I’m feeding my hummingbirds. My hummers are gonna love this one. I also love it because I just had a baby and my baby’s definitely like my drug that I’m straight high off of, snorting his little hair off his head daily, so again I feel like she’s writing for me. I know she’s talking about Joe or whatever. By the way, I need to do more research about Joe because this guy is frickin’ Romeo on steroids. He’s got Taylor so damn sprung it’s overwhelming. I feel like she just made her own Ex Machina robot Ava but Joe. She went to the mountains to live next to the waterfall and had Google make her a boyfriend.

5. "Delicate"

I love this one. I know people are gonna be like, "Are you crazy, it’s nothing like it," but to me it reminds me of my wife’s song "Fanatic." I love when the beat comes in. The production on this album is just phenomenal. Her voice sounds the best it’s ever sounded. Everything just sounds so smooth and glossy and just makes me wanna drink red wine and eat cheese and crackers. I love “my reputation’s never been worse.” That’s why I’m riding Taylor so hard lately because fools are on the timeline hating on her like Spencer 2009. I’m telling you, the last time I saw this type of hate was targeted at me. When did Taylor become as hated as Spencer Pratt?

6. "Look What You Made Me Do"

It’s so unique. It could have been the first song instead of "...Ready for It?" To me, she’s snapping on this album. That’s why I love "Look What You Made Me Do." That’s why I keep playing it. That’s why as long as I have Snapchat it will be go-to, because there’s just moments throughout the day where I just feel like, "Look what you just made me do." That’ll always be my favorite Taylor Swift song for life. The second that dropped I was like, "Oh my god, who is this? This is Taylor Swift?" I feel like I’m rising up from the dead. I feel like I’m just coming in the game like Taylor. Taylor and I are on parallel journeys right now.

7. "So It Goes..."

This’ll be good in a movie scene or something. I don’t wanna say least favorite, but this is on the bottom of my rotation. So far I’ve probably played this song maybe twice out of ones I now played probably 100 times. The thing about certain songs though, if it’s in the right setting, like if I was late night in London and this came on and I was sipping tequila on ice and maybe the vibe was right, I could see it. Right now it’s definitely not getting in my Snapchat rotation which tells you the level, but I’m not gonna go and say it’s a bad song. There’s such insane records on the album I don’t know how it made the cut, let’s just say that.

8. "Gorgeous"

"Gorgeous" to me will always remind me of my baby being two weeks old and how beautiful his little face is. There are better songs on this album but "Gorgeous" should win a Grammy. That’s how crazy this album is, that this is now going probably toward the bottom with "So It Goes..." which is so trippy. It’s a perfect Taylor song. This is what people want from her. It’s less flashy. It seems like it was from the Red album or 1989. It still sounds fresh but the vibe is the pre-dead Taylor.

9. "Getaway Car"

The best part about Taylor’s life is that I really listen to these lyrics trying to decode her life. Very few artists have lives so wild that you can care so much about their lyrical content. This hook is unbelievable. It sounds like an '80s jam. It seems like it would be in the new Goonies movie. [Tom Hiddleston] was like a James Bond to her! He was doing that dope-ass spy TV show, he’s probably all spy swaggy. I really loved them together so I’m still kind of sad about [their breakup]. I wish they would get back in that getaway car. The fact that he really wore that "I Love T.S." shirt when he was pretty much an A-list movie star and was out there at that barbecue — he was all in. She got him. People were like, "That was fake." He was not about to look that corny with his brand unless he was really all like, "Oh my god, I love this little hundred-millionaire girl."

10. "King of My Heart"

"King of My Heart" is not one of my favorites. Girl, don’t give Joe your soul yet! You just started dating.

11. "Dancing With Our Hands Tied"

Ooo, I love this one. This reminds me of "“Style." It may be one of my top three favorites. The music video is gonna be just so Fifty Shades of Grey-ed out. The ones that are super positive have to be Joe. She’s not about to give any of those dudes positive content at this point. This is just fire.

12. "Dress"

I hope she told her mom and dad, "Don’t listen to this one." At 0:49 when she starts doing the pant-y breathing? I think that’s one of her best moments of singing. That hits my fricking holy damn spirit. Bless. "Carve your name into my bedpost?" Whoa, girl! She is out here living her best sexual life. "Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about..." That’s Speidi right there, girl! She’s pouring her life onto these pages. She has nothing to lose now. She wanted to just open up her heart to everyone. She doesn’t need to do interviews if she writes songs like this. She doesn’t need to reply to people, she just can write these hits. "Flashback to my mistakes." Damn, she’s just telling everybody what they want to hear. Like, "People, I’m just a human. I’m just out here trying to live my life. Why do you judge me so hard for trying to be a girl out here and trying to find love?" People are on her case so hard. Leave Taylor alone!

13. "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

I don’t think it’s about Kanye. Would she have really called Kanye a friend? I don’t feel like she ever let him into her life on a friend level. I think it’s one of those girls. I feel like Karlie Kloss got clipped the hardest out of the squad, but the whole squad got clipped too. How is Spencer Pratt riding harder for Taylor Swift’s new singles than any of that clique that she had at all her barbecues that I’m sure she sent Hermès bags to? Cars, who knows what Taylor gift levels are. Her fake-ass squad pisses me off so much, how they didn’t step up during all her drama. It’s mind-boggling. Maybe not all the squad were real friends, but I think at least Karlie Kloss looked like a real enough fake friend. Where are you, girl? Where have you been? Don’t even get me started.

14. "Call It What You Want"

"Call It What You Want" is just beyond beautiful. My homie that does not listen to pop, he said, "Man, those lyrics are like straight trap lyrics." The lyrical swag in his one, just like "brought a knife to a gunfight," "all the liars are calling me one" — those lyrics right there will go down forever to me. This is top-four I would say. I love "all the jokers dressing up as kings." That’s definitely Kanye. He’s always dressing all, "Oh, I’m so fashion, Mr. Fashion King," and she’s just calling him a straight clown.

15. "New Year's Day"

This just made me so sad that I’ve never been invited to any of Taylor’s parties. This one kind of got me emotional. None of those squad members deserve to be at any of those catered events. I’m so glad she eliminated all those people from her life. Those were all leeches. It’s great everything turned out the way it did.

[britishchick09]

it happened one night livewatch

last week this movie was on tv and i watched some of it in between classes, but was over by the end of school :/

luckily the library exists and i was able to get it! so in honor of my first half day of the year, i’ll be watching this classic movie!

first of all the dvd is cute :)

the old columbia logo is so neat! and the music is great too

ooh it was a short story! coolio

clark gable’s in this *cue girl swoon*

captain: “huuuunger striking?” lol

yo this captain dude is MEAN

is this girl a hostage? wait did she say king? OVER 21 WHAT’S GOING ON

claudette girl: “i thought i told you not to bring any food in here!”* guy backs away* lol

WOAH DUDE DON’T CALL HER A STUBBORN IDIOT >:(

OMG THIS GIRL JUST FLIPPED A TABLE THE FRICK

YO SHE”S A SAVAGEEEEEEE SHE JUS JUMPED IN THE WATER LIKE BLIP

soldier: “she’s too smart for you!” dam right she is ;)

hey is that clark gable in the phone

wait is that a black guy who is that

news boss: “you wouldn’t know a newspaper if you kicked it in the pants” lol

oh it’s clark gable sounding cool kewl

yo prohibition’s over LET’S DRUNKENLY CHUG FLASKS OF WHISKY AT THE STATION WHY DON’T WE

where’s the girl she’s awesome and i miss her

just sit on the newspapers clark gable it would be neat :D

sock him sock him sock him SOCK HIM SOCK HIM SOCK HIM

“oh yeah????” JUS SOCK HIM PLZ

...oh no sock :/

OP DERE HE IS! ...or dere she is ;)

claudette girl and clark gable are sort of like anna and kristoff when they first met! :D

cool train it has a lotta license plates :D

fun fact: if you took a drink every time someone in this movie smokes you’d probably die

*screen fades* commercial break!

yo claudette’s smoking it must be cool don’t smoke kids :D

she just threw her cig LITTERBUG

she didn’t notice that it was gone SEE CIGS ARE BAD

4 dollars is like 100 bucks today cool :D (jk it’s 77)

woah that horn sounds like an electric guitar ROCK ON????

why must old men snore :(

just chuck him across the room claudette it’s cool

sit on clark’s hand it’s cool

*claudette and clark stare at each other* awk-ward!

awwww she’s hugging his arm! ♥

she’s gonna be like OH CRAP when she awakes huh (she did but not much)

they cute together ♥

clark: “you look kind of pretty asleep” awwww

claudette: “i’ll be a few minutes late please wait for me.” conductor: “oh yeah????????”

ooh the night bus cool :D

guy: “the bus is gone.” oH yEaH??????

claudette: “that’s 12 hours from now!” so it’s 8 am now kewl

she calls him young man although he’s older than him lol

her last name is andews so is her first name julie....?

awww it’s ellen :/ still cool tho

she pawned her watch for clothes sorta like how anna bought her travel clothes with her coronation dress neat-o (frozen ihon au?)

ooh telegrams asoue reference

lol the telegram lady can’t read his words lol

2.60 is probably 50 bucks wowza (i was right it’s 50.62!)

the train announcer sounds done with his life poor guy :/

shapely: “you have class with a capital k” ...lol

shut up shapely plz

shapely: “shut up my big nasty mouth!” YES PLZ SHUT UP

shapely: “i could go on you in a big way.” ...oh no

awww clark just called claudette ellen his wife awwwwwwwww ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

shapely: “no offense doc!” bugs bunny who

clark: “you’re as help

buying cigars and cigs on a train what a time

the chocolates are 1.67 that’s like 30 (it’s 32! i’m good at this inflation stuff)

yo it be pouring where’s morton salt girl when you need her

omg this is the part i saw last time i think!

claudette: “your ego is absolutely colossal” tell that to captain man lol

claudette: “there’s a brain behind that face isn’t there?” lol

the hotel is 2 bucks a night which is about 50 huh not bad! :D

awww that’s cute a little privacy screen :)

awwwwwww she gonna wear his pjs!

omg he’s undressing in front of her i thought he liked privacy

this is just for the clark fangirls isn’t it

OMG HE DOES SHOES BEFORE PANTS THE FRICK

clark’s singing the big bad wolf song nice timely reference bro :D

omg we’re FINALLY FINDING OUT CLARK’S NAME HOW DID IT TAKE 30 MINUTES

peter warn nice name :D

claudette: “i don’t like it.” ...oh :/

omg airplane cool :D

wow they have a plane table cool :D

the plane flying overhead reminds me of the planes that fly past here sometimes it’s neat

awww he bought a toothbrush and pressed her clothes so sweet!

clark: “all the best houses have showers outside!” huh idk bout that...

wow this is so domestic

he said her hair was cute awwww!

lol they saw her xd xd xd xd lol

DID THAT LADY JUST STICK HER TONGUE OUT WOOWWWWWWW

wowza you really miss a lot in between classes huh next thing i remember they were stealing a car

clark: “that’s your ration for lunch” world war who

kewl they have a donut

claudette’s kinda cute when she smiles :)

oh no the guys are there!!!!!!!!!!

plz don’t recognize her

clark: ‘dOn’T lOsE yOuR tEmPer!!!” woah mocking spongebob who

lol dat was funny good trolling :D

it’s at 42 minutes HOW IS IT NOT HALFWAY DONE

omg wait i think this is the next part i saw

awww there’s a pic of her on the dad’s desk ♥

cool radio broadcast and newspapers AND WIRE PICS IT’S THE FUTURE MAN

is there a radio on the bus cool

oh it’s just real guys ok cool

ok wow everyone knows the flying trapeze song is this a musical now

wowza this song is from 1867 coolio! :D

are they singing the whole flipping song get on with the story plz

ok wow that guy just DROVE RIGHT INTO A LAKE

OMG SOME KID’S MOM DIED :(

awwww clark’s comforting her bless ♥

the guy said ‘behind the 8 ball’ last decade slang reference :D

WAIT WHY DOES CLARK HAVE FLIPPING MACHINE GUNS??????

10 thousand bucks is like a million billion (it’s 193 million i was close)

WOAH THAT WAS SHAPELY HE HAS KIDS WOWZA!

bugs dooley more like bunny :D

they left the bus so this when they steal the car????

10 spot is like 193 wowza

awww they be going piggyback

abe lincoln is a ‘natural born piggybacker’ confirmed

THE FRICK DID CLARK JUS SLAP HER WHY

oh wow they’re sleeping in hay kewl

clark: “you can’t be hungry and scared at the same time!” hmmmm.......

oh no what happened to peter :(

awww he brought food but she’s scared and not hungry huh i guess he was right!

awwww his coat’s blaket!

OMG KISS KISS KISS KIS

awww no kiss :/

hey it’s like modern times when they walk away from the camera :D

this is the other part i saw the car stealing’s coming up! :D

he’s picking hay out of her teeth how domestically romantic ♥

YO RAW CARROTS THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH YOU BOI

oh wow clark has a lotta hitchhiking moves

claudette: “o that’s amazing.”

you thumbed too late clark you thumbed too late

claudette: *raises her skirt to above her knee* oh dang victorian swoon

OH DANG THAT DRIVER STOPPED!

the driver’s probably thinking of the will smith meme now (DAS HOT! DAS HOT!)

claudette: “the limb is mightier than the sword.”

i remember the driver guy he’s funny :D

he’s just singing and clark’s like ‘oh god please for the love of god and holy stop’

the driver’s so happy i love him :D

his face after clark shuts him up is like ‘hmm’

now i understand claudette’s face when clark suggests a carrot lol :D

clark be like HOP outta that car!

DANG clark beat the driver MAN THAT’S ROUGH!

awww claudette’s wiping clark’s brow what a mom

how much is 10 gallons of gas like 40 bucks or something (it’s 19 cents each which is about 18.34 huh!)

the car’s oinking a bit like the car in the 11 year old senpai newsreel!

now they’re at the hotel place and i guess the owner’s living with his mom???

clark saying claudette will be in her husband’s arms and her pausing is sort of like kristoff saying anna will be safe with her true love bish hans :)

ooh nice rug cover :D

clark’s not that hot shirtness sorry fangirls :/

omg claudette bra wow :o (it’s sorta cute tbh)

oh wow they got in their pjs fast

clark: “i want someone more real, more alive!” claudette’s right there bro

clark: “the stars are so close you feel like you could reach up and stir them around” awww ♥

oh no he doesn’t love him but she truly loves him :(

heartbroken claudette ellen isn’t cool :(

wait was the claudette bra actually a slip or something why is that a wonder?

awww clark’s wondering if she’d really go but she’s asleep

25 bucks is about 300 bucks (it’s 476 kewl)

aww the guy has a hat :D

typewriter!!!!!!!!!!!

AWWW CLARK WANTS TO MARRY HERRRRRRRRR

THEY’RE IN LOOOVVVVEEEEE!!!!!!!! ♥

who’s zeke is this a bob’s burgers crossover

oh the hotel guy huh!

they found claudette in the bed it’s like snow white :D

mom: “i run a respectable business!” too bad you’re not your business OHHHHH

oh hey clark kissed the office gal :D

wowza the paper guy has a lotta phones huh

and a candle stick with a dial phone? wowza!

this place is busy huh

kit was right that typewriter sound is the best :D

oh no clark’s not gonna see her there :/

THOSE POLICE CARS SOUND LIKE SCREAMING KIDS WHY

he’s calling the car ‘baby’ how about the lindberg baby CUZ YOU STOLE IT!!!!

omg hoboes on the train it’s not just a kit thing!

CLAUDETTE’S WITH HER DAD GO TO THE RESCUE CLARK!!!!

the car horn be going ‘de de de de de!”

oh no car gone

wowza that’s a lotta papers!

she’s home but what about her true love?

also are movie newspapers actually created on newspaper i’ve always wondered that

oh no claudette’s marrying insert sad clark here :(

what a pretty gown! very shiny and flowery ♥

awww claudette ellen and her dad are so sweet together!

she wants clark pete doesn’t she

claudette ellen hasn’t cried since she was a baby huh

dad: “tell me you haven’t fallen in love with the bus driver!” it’s worse... THE MILKMAN!!!!! :o

claudette: “i practically threw myself at him!” yeah you kind of did back there....

omg her dad knows peter awesome!

cool a typewriter letter :D

OMG IT BE CLARK PETE!!!!!!!

oh wow he just ran in there and it was awkward with the pappa

HE CALLED HER DARLING!

AND THEY KISSEDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥

there’s 10 more minutes it’s getting JUICY

8.60 is probably 70 (it’s 170!)

a buggy ride wowza that’s old fashioned right there

awww clark doesn’t want to admit that he loves claudette but he does

wait is she already married

ooh claudette’s dress train is nice :D

OOH HELICOPTER i thought that was a ‘39 thing!

it’s an airplane with copter blades wow extra much king wesley

ooh the peanuts kids are the chorus people nice :D

the movie camera is a crank cool!

wow dad don’t call your daughter a sucker WOW

39.60 is like 700 bucks probably (765!)

i hope claudette says ‘i DON’T’

dad speak up plz SPEAK UP SPEAK UP

king said ‘i will’ why IT’S ‘I DO’

ooh claudette’s hesitant SHOOT SHE RAN AWAY

the cameras be crankin’

she just drove away like that wowza what a gal

omg the dad’s drunk af what a sad boi

100 thousand is probably a billion AND HE SAYS DIRT CHEAP

awww did claudette and clark go to jerico?

awwww they married!!!!!!!!!!! :D

so that was the movie! it had a lot of funny and memorable parts, but some parts were a little long so i’ll give it a 8/10

what a great movie!