#they beat NC (who are trash away this year)

[trustherkindheart]

We know KC is more than capable of coming back from being down (rip Reign) but I've been saying since the beginning KC's record is a bit misleading when you look at their results against the top teams

[myfight]

ME AND MY 2 BABIES STORY PLEASE HELP US ANYBODY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Hello Everyone I´m sorry to bother you Guys right now but as of right now i don´t know what else to do im 28 years old born in NC and brought up in NC by my grandmother my mom had 8 of us lol yes 8 of us she dropped us first four off with our grandma for a man so coming up was hard especially been the third oldest i had to grow up fast started cooking at the age of 5 childhood was very messed up and we was highly affected by our mother actions which cause us major pain because of the things we had to go through and hear getting beatings with drop cords switches belts brooms etc whatever they had close by sadly my mother came back to take us when i reach middle school all because my dad gave my grandmother money for taking care of his two he got with my mom me and a brother my mom was money hungry and still is but since he didn't give her the money she came back to take us out of spite knowing she didn't want us have your mother ever told you if her grandma was living she wouldn't had no kids at all or wish she didn't have the kids she got or feel the need to tell her kids how long they gone live in this world and her favorite was we want live to see our old age smh well mines said all of it proudly with a smile we were damage by that as well when i was 16 i moved in with my boyfriend and his family who was next door to my mom i was threaten daily by him and when i would tell my mom she would ask me what did i do to him or say to him as if it was my fault and i actually thought i was the bad guy breaking all the relationship rules then them threats turned into major beatings where i would have to run next door crying with the black eyes busted lips and all only for my mother to say the same thing WHAT DID I DO TO HIM so wrong smh sad but true it was like she didn't want me staying with her because she knew we didn't like her young husband who was beating on her and when we would take up for her she turned on us and was on his side and whatever he say goes so if he didn't want me there even doe i´m her blood she birth me she wasn't gone go against him so i want gone be there smh so i had no where at all to go but back to the one abusing me in many different forms it was like a hobby for him years passing by and beatings getting worst more black eyes bruises and busted lips he kept me in the house from everybody and i mean everybody when i was 20 i was blessed to be pregnant just by the wrong man who i always tried to get away from but i was beyond happy because i would soon see and feel what real love feels like and i thought by me being pregnant with his child the cheating would stop and i would be safe from the beatings but oh no i thought wrong yes the beatings was worst the whole 9 months i had black eyes busted lips etc even was slammed on the ground slammed on top of rocks and all while pregnant with nobody to turn too feeling unwanted and worthless but still happy because i was becoming a mother thinking when i have our baby it would be better for us both and plus i had no where to go so 2012 i had my first real love my baby thank GOD I was crying with full of joy i can say the first 2 months everything was good falling into place for my family no more beatings but then his old ways came back i´m getting beatings in front of my 2 month old even while holding him at times i´m home daily while he out living life because of my baby i kept faith even through the beatings hurt and pain then 2 years later i found out i was pregnant again i was beyond happy again but he wasn't at all so them beatings was way worst now i´m getting beating while pregnant holding my 2 year old mother still next door asking me what am i doing wrong smh he would put crushed pills in my food and drinks he would put a lot of stuff in my food and drinks to make me lose my second child i´m getting stomped and all when he get upset with whoever or when he couldn't get his way or his weed he did so much to try an make me lose my baby i went to my mom house next door while he was working i begged her to let me stay with her into i have my baby and ill do anything she said yes i could but i had to give her 200 in my food stamps every month and i was only getting 300 but i had to do whatever to save my baby this is year 2014 then i finally had my baby while staying at my moms when i was at the hospital he came crying saying all the right things i wanted to hear and now that my baby is here my mom no longer wanted us there so i went back to my baby daddy house the 3 of us everything was okay once again at first when my baby was 2 months he had came home around 3 or 4 am after leaving the club he came in all drunk just all over the place i whisper to him to please not be loud but i was talking to myself he was highly rude and loud now my 2 month old up crying and now he passes out as i´m trying to get her to stop crying he wakes up and look at me and her as we in the rocking chair and says ´´SHUT THAT LIL BITCH UP´´ and i responded back and said ´´MY BABY not NO BITCH AND YOU THE REASON SHE UP NOW¨¨ he responded back by saying the same thing so i said the same thing back as well then next thing i know i closed my eyes they were shut so tight all i could hear was a big boom and my two month old screaming when i opened my eyes all i could see was plate glass all in her hair blanket on her face and body and the same with me i broke down crying he kicked us out in the cold rain for about 30 minutes the next day came he comes in the room sees me holding my 2 month old with my 2 year old standing close by and i was on the phone and he heard me begging for some type of family help to leave from him asap i was crying he told me to get off the phone and when i didn't he throw his cellphone at me his cell phone hit my hand and broke my finger smh he put us in his car he pulled my hair all the way from our little city to the next little city while i´m in the backseat with both my babies holding them crying and that ride was almost a 30 minute ride now my scalp was bleeding and all sadly when we got back to his house i watched him sleep thinking about taking his life for all them years of beatings and cheating crying so bad and then i looked at my babies and said GOD blessed me for a reason and hes not worth leaving them because i´m all they got and want nobody treat them like i do i didn't go to sleep that night the next day he left to go out of town for work and i packed all of our stuff up and left he quit his job that same day and came where we was asking me to come back home and be with him but i was beyond tired now and over it so i said no he said ok you know what BITCH i´m tired of you and all i heard was his gun cock back and he turned around with it in his hand and all i did was fall into the front door of my grandma house on top of both my babies scared out of my mind crying laying on top of my two babies luckily my elderly cousin was there so he didn't shot the gun he said he got something for me and took off i called the law he went to jail he got out and the next day he was already with another woman everyone asked me how he moved on so fast after a day and i told them she was with him as long as i was even while i was living with him like i said before he was cheating and i was getting the beatings but me moving out him moving on didn't stop him from coming and putting his hands on me with his famous line you my baby mama i can do this and that smh never knew how to take him and at this point he would come kick in the door run over my babies bikes and all then call the police on his self and wait for them to come smh crazy right his woman he was with got mad at him and called the Social Services with a bunch of lies and the crazy part about it she called SS because the night before he wouldn't have sex with her childish right but she thought he didn't want to have sex with her because he was cheating with someone else or me baby girl not this one i was THANKING GOD i wasn't the one getting beatings every other day in front of my babies didn't even wish that on her but she texted him and said she was gone hurt him and me by getting our kids taken when i wasn't bothering them she was very close reaching that devilish goal especially with the lies that came out of her mouth but THANK GOD she was a highly sloppy sneaky person because when he showed the text of her saying that´s how she was gone hurt me and him by getting our kids taken SS dropped the case she went to jail too and they broke up for a week then he came back wanting my kids to go with her somewhere i said no he slapped me but that slapped didn't make me change my mind and when i told him its either my kids spending time with him without her because she just tried to have them taken he gone say to me and my kids goodbye he pick her so i said to hell with him he missing out on them growing up but he didn't care he made that clear and i was tired of being the nice person and at least let him try to be a dad he wasn't paying child support and he would see them every blue moon one day we had no food i called him and asked him to bring them a 1 dollar burger a piece he asked me do he look like a damn soup kitchen i said no you would look like a father smh i was working at a fast food place he came to the job bothering me being funny posting on Facebook him and his woman clowning me about where i was working but as a MOTHER a job is a job smh 2019-2020 me and my babies was homeless going house to house very unwelcome and unwanted getting talked about and trashed even slept in a car no help no support so called family talking down about us 3 among each other behind my back then they end up having a falling out and then start telling what each other said about me and my kids in front of me and my babies that shit was very hurtful all i did was cry only for my two babies to say don´t cry we went to stay with my dad my blood dad it only last two days because i woke up to him touching me sexually saying he feel like i´m hurt and unhappy  and he would do whatever it takes to make me happy again and i told him as long as i have them to amazing kids ill always be happy i felt hurt by him doing me like that it messed me up it had me thinking have he did me like this when i was a baby a little girl because why would he try me while i´m a grown ass woman a mother of 2 i covered both my kids body parts mad as hell feeling like he would try them if he just tried me and it was 4 am i texted my sister and told her hurry up and pick us up because i was gone take his life yes my dad i was gone kill him for doing that dirty mess to me my clothes was still on and stuff he was rubbing between my legs on top of my pants while the 3 of us was sleep and i woke up even then he tried to say he was trying to hug me sadly and nasty at 6 am we was gone back to been homeless smh my kids dad making 23 an hour living his best life with his woman without a care in the world about his kids well being i´m their the full time mother and father and i always enjoy it then one day my kids dad called and was trashing me i was crying my baby got on the phone and said  you not gone keep talking to my mom like that at the age of 5 i didn't tell him to say it and it shocked me and a few minutes later my grandma came in the house and said your kids dad outside my son started crying my grandma was like let him just talk to him i´m gone be right out there with him so they walks outside my kids dad made it to his car with my son before my grandma could even get off the porch next thing i know i could hear the horn blowing and my grandma being loud i ran outside he had locked my son in the car with him and was hitting my baby in the head with his hand and my son head was hitting the horn all because my baby said don´t talk to his mom like that smh so i called the law and ran outside with a knife ready for war not my son he let my crying baby out the car and took off he told my grandma that he would spit and hit her in the face like he did me so my grandma wanted us to leave she said she was to old for all that and i couldn't blame her but i was beyond hurt we had no where else to go the safe space ended up blessing us with the help of getting our own place thank GOD and i was working doing PCA Nursing everything going good and that so called mother of mines was working at the same job i had to work on Thanksgiving Christmas and all and it was suppose to be special because it was our first Christmas in our own house but we needed the money the 3 of us then one day that so called mother wanted me to work with her after i had just got done doing a 20 hr swift so she could spend time with that same husband who didn't like her kids who didn't want her to let me and my babies stay with her so we wouldn't be homeless when he lives else where but still control her and her house too the same husband she put before us when i said NO she fired me then called the boss a close friend of hers and told her i was fired and the boss went with it when the 89 year patient said i was the best worker she ever had i treated her like a queen i did her feet and all did things i didn't have to do i treated her like she was my great grandma i  did everything how she loved it and wanted it trying to make her last years her best years i cried like a baby because i loved my patient so much i needed her like she needed me she was hurt and she still hurt now about it so next thing i know our power goes off the end of January 2021 when i called SS to get help paying it they said they can only help once a year and they had made a payment for me already i was lost and shocked come to find out a family member i trusted used my info and me and my kids names to get her light bill paid smh so they wouldn't help us and by me telling them that a family member used my info and i wanted to have them do something about it that family member was upset and called SS made some hurtful reports so my kids had to stay else where since the power was off and i wasn't no longer working so they was at my so called mother house who i wasn't dealing with because i put her in her place about how she treated us coming up and stuff smh she made everything worst for me i mean very worst now February comes lights still off and now we getting evicted as well so now its more then temporary since the eviction and SS don´t want my kids to be homeless again and neither did i they my everything but its a thing called karma my so called mom did me so wrong and i´ve begged and begged so many people to help us but nothing at all no type of help and support but that so called mom of mines got evicted and got into Friday and i found out yesterday that she was evicted and that my kids were crying because they have to move with their dad its killing me to see them hurt if i can get our rent paid and lights on then us 3 can be together or find somewhere to stay we can be together but i have nobody at all just us 3 its killing me that they hurting we always been together i´ve been the mother and father giving them everything i´ve always went without making sure they have i don´t care if i only had one outfit they will forever have plenty of everything i don´t have to eat as long as they full if i could i would give them the world with everyone still on it i need my babies just like they need me i´m their better half and they my better half they give me life they make my life beyond better since day one i cant live without them nor be without them to see my babies crying not being with me and having to go somewhere they don´t want be there never have never will and he even told the social services he don´t want them that hurts but he don´t have to want them i do and always have wanted them and always will if i had the right family and support and help things would be better but i have nobody but them they have nobody but me and i have nobody but them and GOD i´m dying in the inside and GOD knows that if they not with me i don´t wanna be here people will never know the pain i´m going through their dad toke them on his taxes and all he didn't offer us the right help didn't care at all about helping PERIOD my kids are down and out without me scared crying everyday and i´m not eating nor sleeping before i let them suffer and be hurt ill battle my life away for their happiness i´m their mother and father and i got into FRIDAY before my kids go with where they don´t want to be and where he don´t want them to be i´ve email so many people begging for help with some many tears in my eyes with a broken soul about to get a new job next week but i need help now and as i begged for help i gave them my landlord number i don´t need to touch any money or anything i just need a helping hand for us somebody anybody please please ill do anything GOD knows that i cant take it all we need is help and hope i´m breaking down into pieces without my babies everybody know how much i love my babies they my best friends and all we super close just like its hurting me its hurting them and ain´t nobody trying to help us and i thought their would be more people like me when i was working i was buying food for homeless giving them money and all that´s my type of heart and my babies ill give my last to anybody let people live with us now they got their own place and didn't offer me and my babies a place to stay not even one night before they was taken temporarily smh its killing me i need help ASAP PLEASEEEEEE ain´t nobody perfect but i´m perfect for my kids just like they are beyond perfect for me please somebody help us Thank You

[cheeri0-queeri0]

mftl: wlw version

Chapter 4

There’s a near-electric quiet as Emma sits down with the squad.

Ava’s teeth worry her bottom lip before she starts. “There’s a lot about Noelle you don’t know.” At Emma’s stare in askance, she sighs. “She’s… What’s the best way to put this?”

Lauren jumps in with a vicious smile. “Trash.”

Ava runs a hand through her hair, looking downcast. “I was going to say complicated. She’s been in juvie since freshman year. Ever since…” Emma hangs on her words, but the cheer captain shakes her head. “Well, no one really knows what happened.”

Toni’s brows shoot up. “But they say she was robbing Mason’s house.”

Emma’s heart plummets. That....can’t be right, can it? She thinks back on their interaction. The other girl had had a sort of brazen fearlessness, and the way she’d gotten in Darren’s face -- but burglary? “That’s ridiculous.” 

Probably.

Lauren rolls her eyes, leaning forward on her elbows to loom over her. “Don’t be so naive. From what I’ve heard, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

That opens a flurry of rumors.

“I heard she got shot.”

“I heard she got sent to solitary for ripping some girl’s nose ring out of her face and then won a fight against four guards with a toilet seat.” Everyone stares at Iris as she rushes on, barely taking a breath. “And then she, like, stole this piece of metal from the machine shop and used it to carve an escape tunnel hidden behind a poster - ”

The squad exchanges incredulous glances. 

“It’s...possible that’s just a rumor!” Iris finishes lamely.

Emma can’t quite square it all. “I- I haven’t heard any of this stuff!”

Ava puts a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes are unreadable. “You alright, Emma? She didn’t threaten you or anything?”

Emma can’t help it; she leans into the touch. Ava circles her thumb in soothing little patterns, and Emma feels safe, protected.

Except - Ava has a boyfriend, and Emma’s chasing after feelings that’ll only end in heartache. So she pulls back.

“No. No, she was actually kind of sweet?” But what did that mean? 

Iris launches off in another rambling, tangential story that Lauren scolds her for. And it seems like just a warm-up - she then lashes out at Emma, sinking her claws into a particularly sore spot.

“Isn’t it a little weird you don’t know anything about Noelle? Space-case much?”

Emma winces. Freshman year...had been rough. Her mom had had a negative reaction to the anesthesia for her surgery. 

God, she still vividly recalls the chill that had engulfed her when she’d read her father’s texts, the way his voice shook when he answered her call. The rest of that day is a blur, the weeks and months after not much better. 

“That was..” But the words lodge in her throat. 

Lauren huffs. “I heard you were basically a zombie freshman year. Guess it’s true, huh?”

“Lay off, Lauren,” Ava all but growls, glaring. She sends Emma a sympathetic look. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so do yourself a favor and just. Don’t.”

Lauren recoils like she’s been slapped. Her nostrils flare, and she stands up abruptly. “Whatever. I need to get to class, anyway.”

The cheer squad takes that as their cue to break apart. Ava pulls Emma in for a side-hug. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for having my back.” Emma lays her head on the taller girl’s shoulder. “What’s her problem?”

Ava presses her cheek against the side of her head, reaching up to play with a stand of Emma’s hair. “Since you were gone we hung out a lot this summer. She’s actually a super talented cheerleader, but she has a lot of...personal growth to do.”

Toni looks up from where she’d been texting. “She’s gunning for your spot, girl. Both as vice-captain and as Ava’s best friend.”

Yeah, well. Tough luck. She’s not about to give up either without a fight. 

“Now I’m back. And those jobs are taken.”

Emma can feel Ava’s grin. “Exactly.”

-------

School was a whirlwind of catching up with people she hadn’t seen in months, offering up chagrined smiles to the few teachers that took themselves seriously enough to launch right into material on day one. By the time the final bell had rung and she was changed into her cheer uniform ambling onto the track around the football field, Emma was buzzing.

Riiiight up until she sees Ava and Mason standing together.

“Mm, I do love a man in uniform,” Ava teases as Emma walks up, trailing her fingers along Mason’s biceps.

The boy flexes a bit, a twinge of eagerness in his eyes that borders on ‘lovesick puppy.’ “In that case, I really hope I make it into the Air Force Academy.”

Emma knows she should look away, but she doesn’t, even as they lean in. The kiss is long, lingering…

Painful. But at least Mason seems happy. Until --

“Hey.” They part, and there’s Noelle, face impassive as her green eyes slide from person to person. They pause on Emma, before going back to Mason. “Mind moving? Need the track.”

She almost looks out of place without her leather jacket, clad in wondrously skin-tight leggings and a tank with the high school mascot on it. 

Emma’s pretty sure both her and Mason’s eyes boggle, and even Ava gives her a glance over. 

“What are you doing here?!” A switch flips in the footballer’s demeanor, and he squares his shoulders, scowling.

Noelle smiles coolly. “Track,” she drawls, lifting a brow at the end. “Figured someone needed to give these girls a show.”

Now that Emma’s slowly coming back to herself, she realizes there’s other track members loitering on the edge of the field. 

Lauren calls out from where she’s seated on the ground, stretching. “Well then, show us what you’ve got, hotshot.” She hops up, smirking over at Emma challengingly.

Wait -- was that… was she flirting with Noelle? Did she suspect --

Emma schools her features. She’s not going to give Lauren the satisfaction, and she’s certainly not going to let the brat be the first one to find out she’s into girls.

She feels a light pressure on her elbow and looks around to find Ava, a conflicted expression on her face. “Emma…” She shakes her head, whatever she was going to say dying on her lips. “Nevermind. Let’s move.”

They settle a little past the 50-yard line, going through warm-ups but it’s clear the group’s attention is elsewhere. After a girl literally trips over herself when a runner pulls his shirt off on his loop around, Ava claps her hands, brows furrowed in frustration.

“Alright! Since it’s clear we’re a little distracted - ” she eyes the worst offenders, “let’s flip the script and put on a show of our own, shall we?” Her full lips quirk up in a grin, and she winks at Emma. “We could go all out and do the ‘Down and Dirty’ routine from sophomore year.”

Breath, Emma. And don’t think.

“That- that almost got us expelled. Principal Jennings called it NC-17.”

For a very, very good reason.

Ava’s grin turns downright wicked. “Exactly. What do you say?”

It’s playing with fire.

“I…” Well, this year is already shaping up to be hell, so if she’s going to be burned anyway, might as well have some fun, right? “Let’s do it.”

The squad erupts into hoots and cheers. Toni offers to go cue up the song, ‘Forbidden Pleasures’ by Haley Rose, on the PA system, and as she jogs off Lauren frowns skeptically. She pushes back weakly, but relents when Ava tells her she can sit it out if she’d prefer. She grumbles about how Mason would react, but the cheer captain waves her off.

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. And, if he gets a little jealous, too, maybe that’s a bonus.”

Ugh. Because of course it had to come back to the boyfriend or what a boy might think. It’s just so… pukingly heteronormative. For the first time she can remember, Emma feels so lonely on the team. What would happen when - if - she came out? 

The PA system blares out the opening riff throughout the stadium. Everyone at school knew those chords, and the routine that went with it. Within seconds, both the football and track practice grinds to a halt. All eyes were on the squad.

Mason’s mouth hangs open. “No way. They wouldn’t.”

Meanwhile, Noelle exasperatedly waves a stopwatch. “Why is everyone stopping?”

Chad, a lanky football player who’s wandered over to the sidelines for a better view, laughs. “Watch and learn.”

Ava looks so in her element. She surveys them all with her hands on her hips, posture loose and light. “Let’s have some fun.”

Emma lets the music flow through her. As she sways, some of the tension she’d been carrying begins to ebb. Jump, pom poms, jut the hip, and a high kick because she’s feeling herself.

Noelle’s gaze is riveted on her, and something in her look makes Emma’s head rush. “Damn, she’s…”

“Flexible. If you know what I mean.” Chad is practically drooled. Emma wishes he had stood closer, so she could’ve high kicked him in the face.

Noelle grips the stopwatch so hard her knuckles lose their color. “I think you mean impressive.”

Mason folds his arms over his broad chest, muscle on his forehead twitching. “Trust me, Emma doesn’t need you looking out for her.”

Emma can only barely make out their words, but there’s a thrill to being noticed all the same.

And speaking of notice, Ava is shooting her an approving stare. Is it just Emma, or is she checking her out?

Ava flashes her a smile. “Yeah, Emma, work it! Don’t let up now!”

God, now is not the time to blush.

As the field watched, they hit the next beat of the routine and struck a pose. Still feeling off kilter from Ava’s look, Emma opts for a sweet little twirl ending in a fluttering of her pom poms.

“Damn, she’s so cute. Bro, is she single?” Chad wheels on Mason, bro-punching him on the shoulder.

Irritated, Mason shoves him away. “I doubt she’s interested.”

“You don’t know who she’s interested in,” Noelle counters. The comment on its face is belligerent, but there’s a coy little twist to her lips that makes Emma’s knees weak. 

The rest of the routine gets...interesting. Skirt-lifting, near-flashing, winking. It - was a lot. And that was before they lined up to spank each other.

Emma’s just a tad hot under the collar as they get to the end.

“And now for the best part. Pick your favorite person in the audience and blow them a kiss,” Ava reminds them.

Emma hesitates. She watches as Ava’s gaze lands on Mason, and she puckers up, and - 

And her best friend feels farther away from her than she’d ever been when Emma was in Montana.

Belatedly, she looks up and locks eyes with Noelle. She’s sweaty from running, hair tousled, tank top slipping off her shoulder to reveal a dark sports bra beneath.

She’s beautiful.

The girl grins, bringing a hand up to her lips and blowing Emma an air kiss.

Holy shit. Emma miiiight be having a heart attack.

The song ends, and the squad collapses onto the grass, exhausted.

Ava flops down next to her. “How do you feel now?”

Emma lies back, staring up at the sky. How does she feel? She doesn’t really know, everything’s all jangled up together, wired and electric. “Alive,” she answers simply.

“Alive is good.”

Lauren pipes up. “Even I have to admit that kicked ass.” Her voice shifts into a whine. “But I’m tired. Can we go home now?”

Emma chances a glance at Ava, whose expression grows stormy. “Not even close. Practice is just getting started.”

They spent the next hour running through the usual routine. They had to whip into shape for cheer exhibitions coming up. And despite Lauren’s laziness, she was a natural, breezing through the moves like she’d been born doing them.

Emma almost doesn’t notice when her phone beeps. She fishes it out of her bra (what she’d give for a uniform with pants instead of a skirt).

It’s Mackenzie: Emma!!! SISTER EMERGENCY. I need ur help :(

Emma’s stomach ties itself in a knot.

What was wrong with Mackenzie?

[missgeek83]

A Guinness in Galway

TITLE:  A Guinness in Galway AUTHOR: @missgeek83 RATING: NC-17 SUBJECT: Ed Sheeran AUTHOR’S NOTE: Old friends go out for a drink, and maybe a little more. This is my first foray back into the fanfic world. *nervous laugh* Be kind? <3

The bartender handed me my glass and the last lights of day glittered off the sides. The sun was still warm on my back, but it couldn’t compete with the flush I felt when I looked over and caught his eyes. It took barely a second to get lost in them, and I wasn’t even concerned with how my face must’ve looked until I shifted my glass and a beam of light caused him to squint in pain.

“Aye, watch where you’re pointin’ that,” he said with a small laugh.

Oh, shit. I shifted the glass back. “Shit, sorry.”

He was laughing as the bartender handed him his beer, giving the guy a nod as he sat back down.

“They should be here soon, they said they were close...” I rushed my words, trying to pretend I was still casual. (I wasn’t.)

“They’ll be another hour then, yea? Knowing that lot.”

“Well, I mean you’re not wrong.”

A few beats pass and then my phone buzzes in my jacket pocket. I pull it out, raising my eyebrow knowingly at him. I read the message, and laugh.

“Christine says they’re trying to find a parking spot. Soooo, give or take about 15 minutes.”

“Enough time for another drink,” he says with a grin.

The group files in about 8 minutes later, filling the bar with the sound of their feet and laughter. As they all settle at the bar next to us, the whole place seems to come alive. The noise level rises just enough that I don’t feel like I have to fill in the spaces between sentences, which is good because to speak to other people down the bar Ed is having to lean over me and I am absolutely distracted. Christine, who sat to my right, is laughing into her drink when my brain comes back into focus. I shoot her a warning glare.

“What?!” She tries to act innocent. “I heard something funny.”

“You’re gonna see something funny in a second,” I mumble, tipping the last of my drink back.

She starts to speak, but Ed sits down at that moment and asks if I want another drink.

“Uh, well if I’m gonna drive later maybe not?”

He smiles at me for a brief second before waving down the bartender.

“Aye, mate, can we get two doubles?”

“Wait - oh, no, yea ok you’re already gone.” I give Ed an exasperated look. He grins and gives my shoulder a squeeze.

Hours later, we all start to disperse, heading to our cars to figure out who’s going home and who’s going for more drinks. Being one of the lightweights, I’m debating on just calling it a night. Christine is headed with her friend-but-not-quite-boyfriend to a bar down the street, and she wants me to go with. I look behind me, trying to see if Ed is leaving or staying. He’s next to a friends car, but soon gives them a salute and turns toward us.

“Coming to Smithe’s?” Christine asks him, looping her arm through mine and giving me a little tug.

“Might as well.”

“Great!” She smiles and lets me go to catch up with Jon, who is already walking out of the parking lot toward the next destination.

I sigh, then laugh. “She’s going to be the death of me.”

“Probably,” Ed says, putting his arm where hers had been and hauling me with him through the parking lot.

We’re both laughing when we catch up to Christine and Jon at the front door of the bar. We wait to be seated, Eds hand coming to rest lightly at the small of my back. Telling myself it’s just the alcohol, I try to ignore the chill that goes straight up to my brain as we’re ushered inside. The booth they sit us in is like its own little island, nestled away in the darkest corner of the bar. I’m suddenly very aware of how tipsy I am as we all slide in behind the round table; first Jon, then Christine, then me, then Ed last. We all chit chat idly and skim the drink menu until a waiter comes to get our orders. Everyone gets a water, and a drink, and we order the biggest appetizer sampler, hoping to soak up some of the alcohol for the drive home. Once the waiter is gone, Christine announces she has to pee, and after giving me a look, I remember that I, uh, have to pee, too.

We barely make it in the bathroom door before she starts.

“So, who drove?” she asks from her stall. "I did," I reply, staring at myself in the mirror to make sure I don't look as drunk as I feel. "Mmmhmmmmm..." She trails off.

"Once the food settles I'll be fine to drive us home, and he has a thing tomorrow anyway." "A thing for you," I hear her mutter as she fusses with the toilet paper. "Stop that, he doesn't think of me that way."

I'm messing with my hair and watch my own face drop in sadness. All the years we've been friends, never once had I thought Ed saw past the gangly blonde girl who ruffled his ginger hair everyday in middle school. We'd both been outcasts, brought together by our love of music and stuff that everybody else hated, but he'd never shown a romantic interest in me. Most days I was ok with that, because for the longest time I hadn't seen him like that myself. It wasn't until the summer he went away for a music thing and came back all...grown up, that I'd started looking at him differently. He grew his hair out, got a couple tattoos, and suddenly he was this irresistable, unattainable person that I had never really seen before. Maybe it was the months he was gone, maybe it was the change in appearance, or maybe it was just something in the air, but in the two years since I hadn't been able to convince myself he was the same kid. I notice Christine has been talking while my brain has been elsewhere. "...maybe if you did that he would open up." "What? Sorry, I wasn't listening." "What else is new?" She exits her stall and rolls her eyes at me. "I try to impart my wisdowm and knowledge on you and you don't even hear me. No wisdom for you!" We laugh as she tosses her paper towel in the trash and make our way back to our table. The guys are having what I can only assume is an awkward attempt at conversation when we get back because Ed has the most relieved face I've ever seen on a person as we sit down. "That was the most painful five minutes of my life," he mutters to me as I reach for my drink. His is already dangerously low. I snicker and take a sip. "Next time, I'll make her go by herself, I promise." He smiles at that and shakes his head. He reaches for a cheese stick and offers it to me, wiggling it in my face. I reach for it, only to have him pop it in his mouth. "Rude!" I squeal, laughing. The rest of the food goes quickly, and after our drinks are done, I notice Christine giving signs that her night needs to be finished elsewhere. Jon nods at her and they rise from the table. "Alrighty guys, well we had fun! Jon's got work in the morning so I think we're gonna head out." Ed and I get up and hug her goodbye, Jon gets a solid handshake and a big-brother-type threat from him, I get a wink from her, and they're gone. Now it's just Ed and I at the table, nursing the last of our drinks in silence. "So, you...want me to take you home after this?" I ask him, pushing my empty glass aside and reaching for my water. "Uh, yea, got that interview tomorrow so..." I nod. My head is still a bit more spin-y that I'd like, but I know he's had way more than me so I pray to the water gods that I'm sober in the next 10 minutes. Suddenly my right cheek burns hot, and I glance over to find him staring at me. When my eyes meet his he doesn't look away, only holds the gaze and the left side of his mouth tips up into a grin. I give him a puzzled half smile back, unable to look away. My heart pounds away beneath my ribs and I feel my head start to fall forward. His does too. In slow-mo, my eyes drop from his as I watch his lips inch closer to mine, and I feel for a second like I'm outside my own body. I think for sure he's going to pull away, because this couldn't possibly be his intention. My vodka-adled brain is making things up and I'm about to make myself look incredibly stupid...until it happens. His lips brush mine and I instantly melt into him. I'm warm all over and my heart is rattling around my chest at an impressive speed. He presses his lips firmly against mine a second time, and I feel his hand come up to rest against my chin. He tilts it upward, catching my mouth again and again and I can't breathe. Breathing feels secondary to making sure my face stays connected to his. Then I'm drowning; in his lips, in his warmth, in the taste of him...I'm a goner. Then it's over. He pulls his face back and I feel a whimper escape my lungs at the broken connection. When I snap back to reality and open my eyes, he's smiling at me with a soft look in his eyes. His hand is still on my face, his thumb rubbing over my jaw line lightly. I stare back in shock, slowly coming out of my haze and suddenly petrified with fear. He notices the change in my face and speaks first. "Hey, you ok?" "Y-yea...I..." Words don't make sense and I can't think of enough of them to describe a single thing I'm feeling. His fingers are still carressing my face. "Is it ok...that I did that?" He seems apprehensive now, like he's scared I didn't want him to kiss me. "No, no! I mean, yes it was ok. More than ok..." I trail off and bring my eyes back up to meet his. The worry fades and his smile returns. I have to be grinning like an idiot by now but I'm trying to savor every second so who cares? I'm still trying to form more than a few words at a time when the hand on my chin slides back behind my ear and brings our heads together again. The synapses in my brain are exploding like fireworks inside my skull as I fall into his chest and my nose catches his cologne on an intake of breath. He smells woodsy, like sandalwood, but also sweet, and a little bit like Guinness. The slow burn that started in my head after the first kiss is spreading like wildfire throughout my entire system. Even though most of the alcohol has left me it's still propelling my actions forward at what I realize is an alarming rate as I snake my hand up his chest and toward the zipper of his hoodie. I stop myself and pull away from him, as much as I hate the idea. We're both slightly out of breath, and his lips are a lovely shade of red, with just a touch of pink from my lipstick. He looks confused. “I...We should probably...” Eventually my vocabulary will return to me, I'm sure, but it's really causing issues currently. “Somewhere else?” “My place?” he asks, raising his eyebrow with a smirk. I nod and fumble behind me for my purse. He's already sliding out of the booth and tossing some cash on the table as I unlatch my car keys and stand up. I take a deep breath, because despite the lovely feeling rushing over me I'm also scared as hell by what may or may not be about to happen. As I'm gathering myself together I see his hand pop out in front of me. I look at him, then take it, and internally squeal when his fingers lace through mine. He leads me from the bar back to my car and waits as I unlock the doors. It's cold out, and I'm thankful for the heater as I crank it and drive off toward Ed's apartment. We don't speak, but the bluetooth plays songs from my phone quietly in the background, helping keep my mind from wandering too far in the wrong direction. When we pull up in front of his building a few minutes later, I get a chill of anticipation...and possibly a little apprehension. He takes my hand again when we meet in front of the car and walks me to the elevator. His complex is by far the nicest in the county, maybe the whole state, and makes my rental look like a total dump. Except that right inside the front door you can immediately tell it's lived in by a man because there are clothes thrown over the couch and cups in single file in front of the sink. He doesn't bother turning on the living room light, just kicks his shoes off and throws down his keys. Dorito (one of his two feline companions) looks up lazily from the moonlight streaming through the window she's laying in and gives a soft meow. I wiggle a finger at her and from behind me I hear Ed laugh. “What?” I say, a smile playing on my lips. “Don't be pointin' fingers at my pussy,” he jokes. I roll my eyes, but realize he probably can't see it. He slides a hand behind me and lightly pushes me toward the stairs. I step out of my shoes and follow him to the second floor. I've been to his place a million times, slept on his floor, his couch, a couple times even his bed – but never like this. Only in my wildest (to the letter) dreams had I ever walked toward that room with this same feeling. I watch my toes indent the carpet in the hallway as he stops ahead of me to open the bedroom door. There's a pause. “I won't bite,” he says, softer than I've ever heard. His soothing voice convinces me to go inside, and I walk in, resting on the side of the bed I know he doesn't sleep on. He flips on the two bedside lamps from the wall and closes the door behind him. He takes his jacket off and tosses it into the chair in the far corner of the room before crawling onto the bed himself. He scoots to the middle, leans against the headboard, and motions for me to join him. I do, and he wraps me up in his arms as I rest my head under his chin. “We don't have to go any farther, if you don't want,” he whispers to me, fingers slowly working through my hair. I don't say anything. Honestly I don't know if I want to go further. We've already thrown “friends” out the window, I don't really want to risk the rest of the night going badly trying to get to whatever is next. As I try to think of what to say, he starts to sing softly, something I've never heard before. “Dancing in the dark...with you between my arms...barefoot on the grass...” He trails off into a hum, obviously not having found the next line yet. His voice is smooth and sweet, and I never tire of listening to him sing. He sounds so much more British when he sings, his lilt making each word bend and sway like reeds in the wind. He sings me to sleep, which was not exactly my intention, but after all the liqour and the excitement of the night, my brain is exhausted. I wake up the next day, the late morning sun filtering in just above my head. I stretch, yawning as I rub my eyes and open them to find...myself alone in a room that is not my own. It takes a few seconds for the night to play back in my head and I laugh a little to myself, half embarrassed and half regretful that the night had ended with me passing out like a child. I hear some clanging from downstairs and am relieved to know he's still here. I'm still wearing everything except my jacket, and I opt to leave it as I shuffle sleepily downstairs. All the blinds in the kitchen are up, and Ed is at the stove, shirtless and in his sweats, making what looks to be eggs. He turns to grab a plate and the sun bounces off his hair, a small flame atop his porcelain skin. He's singing to himself, and I smile, reaching the last step without being seen.

“Careful,” I say in a groggy voice. He turns to look at me. “That's what got me in trouble last night.” He laughs, tossing the eggs and some toast onto the plate and laying it on the bar behind him. “Yea, you were proper tired, ay? After all that and I get snoring as a reward...” He shakes his head in a 'tsk-tsk' way as I sit in front of the plate and scoff. “Maybe your charms need a little more umph to them,” I tease. He rounds the bar and grabs me suddenly, placing his lips against the side of my neck. My eyes flutter closed as he butterfly kisses up toward my ear and then pulls away. “O-or, ya know...not.” “No?” His eyes are mischievous, and also a little arrogant. The bastard. “Water?” I request, clearing my throat to pretend like he hadn't gotten to me. “Say please.” More kisses to the neck, this time crossing my collarbone. “Please?” It comes out as a gasp, airy and hardly a solid word, but it's all I can manage. It's too early for my brain to process any of this and I have no hope of winning this battle. Despite my weakened plea, he continues to kiss across my neck, then up my face, everywhere but my lips. The flame licks at me, reignited from the night before, and my hands slide into his hair. I use it to pull his face up enough for my mouth to find his, and the sensation is enough to blow my scalp clean off. He takes like orange juice, and my hands grasp at his shoulders to pull him closer because the space bewteen us is too much. He steps between my knees, bumping the stool I'm sitting on, and I feel him pressing against my stomach as he tries to right us. The feeling breaks what little control I have over my brain and when our lips separate I can't help the moan that escapes me. I see his eyes roll up, he blinks, then he hefts me up onto the bar. The plate clatters to the floor, but it doesn't stop us. Using my toes, I push the sides of his sweat pants down and after a second they fall to the floor. He's not wearing anything underneath and his erection bounces freely in front of me. He doesn't seem detered by his sudden nudity and tugs at my jeans. I hurry to unbutton them and get them off without being too awkward. The granite bar is cold under me, but every inch of me is on fire. His right hand grips the back of my head and his lips are back on mine. He scoots me to the end of the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist. In time with our kisses, I rotate my hips and rub myself against him. He drops his head to my shoulder for a second and pushes back against me. I see his hand reach to my side, to a black bowl, and bring back a black square. He lifts his head and carefully tears the side off the condom wrapper. There's a small tremor that runs through me, because this is about to happen, this is real. He's rolling the condom on when I snap back, and he looks up at me expectantly. I nod, my chest heaving, and he runs a finger along the top of my underwear. He helps me shove them off and then he spins me around, so he can lay me back on the bar. I use a balled up shirt to put under my head and feel him press the tip against my opening. I take in a big breath, holding it as the pressure subsides and he's completely inside. I can't take the separation anymore and sit up, wrapping my legs around him again and he presses a kiss to my breast. He starts slowly at first, and my eyes meet his. He's entranced, his face full of awe, and I can't look away. I fight back the feeling in my throat, the tears coming to my eyes, knowing that I'd wanted exactly this for the longest time. It spurs me on, and I meet each of his thrusts in earnest. He's breaking a sweat, the sun reflecting off his freckled shoulders. I bite my lip and he closes his eyes.

“I'm close,” he whispers. He can tell I'm not quite there yet, so he reaches between us and uses his thumb to find my clit. I inhale sharply and I see him grin. After a couple seconds I can feel it coming. I moan loudly and I can tell he's done when his face pinches and his thrusts slow. Shortly after I feel the same explosion and everything is white for a second. As my vision clears I feel him holding me, panting heavily against my shoulder. I cradle the back of his head with both hands, mostly trying to steady myself from the last of the tremors coursing through me. It takes a minute or two for our breathing to return to normal, and when it does he slips out of me and discards the condom. I meekly look around for a towel, and snag a few napkins from the far end of the bar. He chuckles. “So...shower?” He extends a hand toward me, his whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. I nod and reach out to him, sliding off the bar onto the floor. My legs wobble beneath me and he quickly puts an arm around me to steady me.

“Damn, thanks...” I say, giggling. He stops and picks me up, carrying me back upstairs. He's careful not to hit my head as we re-enter the bedroom and then the bathroom. He sets me down and goes to turn on the shower. I watch him pull a couple fresh towels from the cupboard, turn around and test the water temperature, then nod for me to get in. He pulls the curatin closed behind us and hands me a bottle. It's my favorite body wash, most likely left here long ago, after a night similar to last night. Except without the kissing and, uh, everything else. I use a spare loofah and start to soap my arms. He does the same, and I catch him looking at me from the corner of my eye.  He doesn't look away, just raises his eyebrows sexually. I laugh and duck my head, stepping into the stream of water. “That's exactly how we got into this mess, you and those eyes.” “Sooo, are you saying you don't wanna be in my mess?” He pretends to be hurt. “Oh, quite the opposite...couldn't you tell from my extreme enthusiasm downstairs?” “I maybe got an idea.” He wraps his soapy arms around my waist and kisses me, so very slowly. But only for a second, then he rests his forehead against mine.  “Are you gonna be my lady?” My heart drops. Straight through the floor, down, down, down. Everything I've longed for is right here. “Is that what you want?” I ask, voice hitching. “Is that what YOU want?” I raise my eyes to meet his. “It's everything I want.” My voice is barely a whisper. “Then that's what you'll have,” he says, and it sounds like a promise. Like a contract we both signed with the kiss he places on my forehead afterward. I don't notice them at first because of the shower over head, but soon I realize I'm crying. Not long after I'm gasping for breath, and he holds me tighter. “Shh,” he whispers, slowly rocking us side to side. He hums a familiar song, the first song we bonded over as kids, and it brings my tears to a stop. “Come on, let's rinse off. Then we'll have a proper breakfast, yea?” I nod, and he kisses me before stepping into the spray to wash off. After breakfast, we snuggle in bed and watch whatever is on the last channel his TV landed on. He twirls my still-damp hair between his index and middle finger absentmindedly. My phone goes off, several texts in a row, on the bedside table behind me and I know immediately who it is. “That'll be Christine, looking for a story,” I say as I reach for it. Whithout looking away from the screen, Ed laughs. “Well, this should be a good one.” “WAKE UP!” “I know you're awake. And you're not at home.” “WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!” “At Ed's. Spent the night. EVERYTHING happened. Literally. Lunch later?” I see the elipses at the bottom of the screen immediately. “WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?! LUNCH?! I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.” Laughing, I put the phone down and lay my head back down on Ed's chest.

“She wants to meet up and hear all about it.” “I'm sure she does.” He looks at his watch. “I've gotta be out in a couple hours, if you wanna pop off.” “She can wait. I'm not done here.” I snuggle as close to him as I can, and close my eyes when I feel him kiss the top of my head. Yea...she can wait. After this long, I deserve to stay here as long as I can. ---------- Masterlist here. 

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to 2017 college football TV watch ‘em ups: week 5

Schedules are getting a little better this week as we get into conference schedules and the Florida teams get back to normal.

I see some pretty strong matchups but the early kick games look kind of bad. Having USC/Washington State and Miami/Duke both playing Friday night in a TV doubleheader seems weird. Could have pushed the ACC game to Saturday morning and nobody would have been the wiser. I guess TV contracts don’t work that way, though, so here we are with this schedule. I feel the need to italicize that there are some strong matchups. It’s not a great week overall.

Times are, as per usual, Eastern and stolen from FBSchedules. All gambling advice is fully backed by RTARL’s “don’t ever ask us for shit” guarantee and comes with all requisite warnings that you are a dummy if you listen to me about anything ever.

Saturday, Sept. 30, 2017

Matchup                                               Time (ET)                         TV

Houston at Temple                              Noon                             ESPNU

I was caught completely off guard by Coach Ryan Gosling limiting Ed Oliver’s effectiveness last week but those things happen. When Khalil Mack was in college there were games where he was worked around by some truly awful teams and he was playing as an off the ball linebacker. Oliver should be back to normal this week.

Maryland at Minnesota                      Noon                                FS1

I can’t imagine looking forward to seeing this game.

New Mexico State at Arkansas         Noon                              SECN

This is a body count game for a middling SEC team and it’s still better than the B1G’s in-conference offering on FS1.

North Carolina at Georgia Tech        Noon                                ESPN2

Matchup of two very interesting coaches but also two not very interesting rosters. Could be a fun watch ‘em up but I won’t call it a “good” game.

Northwestern at (10) Wisconsin       Noon                                  ABC

Among the many things I can’t really explain about my college football fandom is a strong dislike of Northwestern football. Like I’m rooting for Jonathan Taylor to extract blood early and often in this game and I don’t really understand why.

Rice at Pittsburgh                               Noon                       RSN/ESPNCE

It just occurred to me right now that it’s really weird for Pitt to be insanely week in the defensive backfield. I know it’s only his second year there but isn’t Pat Narduzzi supposed to be sort of a scheme wizard on that side of the ball? Pitt has looked so bad so far that this game might not even be a gimme.

(18) USF at East Carolina                    Noon                                CBSSN

ECU isn’t very good this year. They never should have fired Ruffin McNeill. USF looks like they’re getting better every week so this could be a nice bloodbath.

Vanderbilt at (21) Florida                    Noon                                   ESPN

Florida could really lose to Vanderbilt in the Swamp and I wonder if even having two straight division titles is enough to save Jim McElwain if that happens.

Syracuse at NC State                          12:20 pm                     ACCN/ESPNCE

The ACC might be the best conference in the country top-to-bottom and they can still put up clunkers like this. Strength against whatever the strongest thing you can say about Syracuse is with NC State’s pass defense going against the Orangemen’s pass heavy offensive concepts. This should be pretty ugly.

Central Michigan at Boston College   1:00 pm                           ACCNExtra

Harold Landry reminds me of former BC star Mathias Kiawnuka for all of the good and the bad that might imply.

Baylor at Kansas State                        3:30 pm                              ESPN2

With Kansas State looking above average this year they should be able to beat Baylor by at least 30.

Buffalo at Kent State                           3:30 pm                               ESPN3

Florida State at Wake Forest              3:30 pm                        ABC

Undefeated Wake Forest at home against winless Florida State. This will never be true again unless they play each other in a season opener.

(7) Georgia at Tennessee                    3:30 pm                        CBS

If I understand anything about these two programs Tennessee is going to win this game on a Hail Mary after getting down by 30 points in the first half.

Indiana at (4) Penn State                      3:30 pm                        BTN

Saquon Barkley is gonna get like 8 carries, Penn State is going to pull away in the third quarter to win by maybe 20. This looks like torture to me.

Murray State at (17) Louisville             3:30 pm                          RSN

These stats shouldn’t count for Louisville unless they are bad.

Navy at Tulsa                                          3:30 pm                         ESPNU

Navy playing a game on an ESPN feed seems sort of wrong to me. Other than playing Notre Dame on NBC they pretty much only ever play on CBS/CBSSN. Zach Abey has been pretty good this year (not up to his hype level from before last season yet) but Navy’s defense is pretty bad. Every game is an adventure with these guys. Tulsa has been terrible this year but they can score a lot.

Ohio at UMass                                        3:30 pm                       11 Sports

This is one of the worst possible games this season and Ohio will somehow beat UMass on the road by more than Tennessee beat UMass at home.

UTEP at Army                                           3:30 pm                        CBSSN

Last year was supposed to be a step forward for Army’s program but they’ve kind of sucked so far in 2017. This is not an attractive matchup even for a gutter palate like mine.

Arizona State at Stanford                       4:00 pm                       Pac-12N 

How does Stanford keep roping me in with one single player to watch year after year while putting together an offensive system that is dependent on making everybody fall asleep? Bryce Love should go off against ASU and Kalen Ballage should continue to do absolutely nothing against Stanford so pretty much expect both of these teams to look exactly how they have looked for the past four weeks. Stanford will win in a rout, 27-16.

Eastern Michigan at Kentucky              4:00 pm                         SECN

Kentucky lost to an inferior opponent last week so we’ll see how they bounce back against a relatively tough Eastern Michigan team

Iowa at Michigan State                           4:00 pm                           FOX

Iowa missed a huge opportunity last week at home against Penn State so they might be in a bad mental space against Sparty. That’s Michigan State’s best bet because they look just as bad in 2017 as they did in 2016.

Texas State at Wyoming                         4:00 pm                          Stadium

The Josh Allen “I’m not actually good enough to play in the NFL” tour continues with a visit from Scott Bakula and the Armadillos.

UConn at SMU                                         4:00 pm                           ESPNews

UConn football is consistent with two things: being bad and having good defensive backs. That’s all I can think of for a recommendation here. Courtland Sutton could have a tough week but SMU should win. UConn is legit one of the worst teams in the country right now.

Miami, OH at (22) Notre Dame                5:00 pm                            NBCSN

I’m sure there’s a way to look this up quickly but I’m not gonna be the one to do it - how many times has a team played Miami (OH) and Miami (FL) in the same season? Notre Dame is doing it this year. I hope they lose both but last year’s bad luck doesn’t seem to have carried over to this year.

Akron at Bowling Green                         6:00 pm                             ESPN3

Technically speaking this is a football game so enjoy it you fucking weirdos who watch bullshit MACtion.

(24) Mississippi State at (13) Auburn    6:00 pm                             ESPN

I still think of Malzahn as the better schemer between these two but I’m not 100% about that anymore. I think Auburn will probably roll the Bulldogs here.

Air Force at New Mexico                        7:00 pm                             CBSSN

I’m low key enjoying Air Force football this year. This is the kind of trash game that typifies my ideal of Degenerate Football.

Ball State at Western Michigan             7:00 pm                              ESPN3

How does the MAC manage to infect such a huge percentage of the TV schedule every week?

Charlotte at FIU                                       7:00 pm                      beIN SPORTS

For all of the great things he did for The U and UNC’s programs, Butch Davis isn’t really a quick turnaround guy. FIU is starting from the very bottom of the stack in Florida but I’m sure if he gets 4 years there, Davis will have them turned into an offbrand monster. Kind of like what UCF and USF have going right now.

Coastal Carolina at ULM                        7:00 pm                                ESPN3

Yeesh. Gotta respect this game for finding a place to hide. Nobody is going to watch this.

Marshall at Cincinnati                            7:00 pm                                ESPN3

Another kind of awful matchup that’s nicely scheduled for minimum exposure.

Memphis at UCF                                     7:00 pm                                ESPN2

Without looking I would have sworn both of these teams were just barely inside the top 25 but now I am looking and neither one of them is there. Weird. This is a pretty great AAA matchup if you’re into that sort of thing. If you are not into that sort of thing you should be because this is the most interesting conference in the sport. Not the best, mind you, just the most entertaining.

Middle Tennessee at Florida Atlantic  7:00 pm                              Stadium

It seems well nigh impossible to me that Lane Kiffin goes unscathed in the current pay to play scandal even if the investigation never jumps from basketball to football.

North Texas at Southern Miss              7:00 pm                            CUSA.TV

How did so many bad games get scheduled for prime time on Saturday this week? You won’t have to do a lot of channel hopping.

South Alabama at Louisiana Tech         7:00 pm                             ESPN3

This is one of the better games on the schedule at this time and USA has actually sucked badly so far this year.

Troy at (25) LSU                                       7:00 pm                             ESPNU

Maybe Derrius Guice will do something to make this interesting but I wouldn’t count on it.

(11) Ohio State at Rutgers                     7:30 pm                               BTN

If Ohio State really tries for 80 this is worth watching but otherwise it’s just more detritus.

South Carolina at Texas A&M                7:30 pm                            SECN 

aTm has two potential first round talents in Christian Kirk (fading) and Trayveon Williams (only a sophomore) and a head coach who built his rep in the first place as a great offensive mind. Sakerlina has a supposed defensive wizard at head coach and a bunch of early round talent all over the roster. When you say it like that this seems like a fun game but nope. I’ve got no interest in it.

  (2) Clemson at (12) Virginia Tech          8:00 pm                             ABC

Now this looks like a real deal great game to me. Both teams have freshman QBs and I think VPISU’s Josh Jackson is actually the better of the two but he can be that and it still might not matter in this particular game. This is not an easy win for Clemson and should actually be a better game than Clemson’s last “big test.” The Hokies are much better on defense than Louisville and they might be able to get off a few deep burns on Clemson’s secondary.

(15) Oklahoma State at Texas Tech       8:00 pm                             FOX

If Clemson makes me a liar and just stomps over Virginia Tech then you can check in here for what is sure to be a 79-63 kind of a game with over 1,000 yards of combined passing.

(6) Washington at Oregon State            8:00 pm                         Pac-12N

Every week I get to Oregon State against whoever and just laugh to myself that this fucking guy left the head coaching job at Wisconsin to become the guy at Oregon State and every single week they look worse than they did the previous week. UDub should have this one sealed up before the start of the second quarter.

University of Mississippi, Oxford at (1) Alabama    9:00 pm          ESPN

On the one hand Shea Patterson is extremely talented and 27 points is a huge line for a conference game. On the other hand Mississippi got worn the fuck out by the Antifa Bears who don’t even have a real roster put together yet and Alabama could sleep walk to a 30 point lead here. It’s just a matter of how much Alabama wants to stomp them out. All of that recent history of upsets and close games is history, this is not going to be close.

Nevada at Fresno State                          10:00 pm                         ATTSNRM

Fuck yes, this is West Coast trash and I love it. Neither of these teams is particularly good (I mean like any good at all) so this might not be watchable but I sometimes get into this sort of thing.

California at Oregon                                10:30 pm                              FS1

It’s not time for either of them to have a national following yet but I like where both of these programs are headed. Cal having a decent defense overnight seems like a road map to an exploitable market inefficiency in college football.

Colorado at UCLA                                     10:30 pm                        ESPN2

Seeing them side by side like this makes me realize that Colorado already exploited that inefficiency that the Antifas are moving towards and started from even farther back in the pack. I just thought of this comp for Josh Rosen and now I’m buying into it: Russell Wilson. He’s obviously much taller than Wilson but the pluses and minuses to their games overlap a lot. Rosen won’t have a 5th year in a new uniform to broaden the scope of his game so he’s probably looking at one year or more as a redshirt in the NFL to put things together but I think I’m onto something here.

NIU at (19) San Diego State                     10:30 pm                        CBSSN

I ran out of space and felt like I already had enough running backs on the RTARLsman list but Rashaad Penny is definitely still one of my guys. I’ll check in on this one if I can but it should be a pretty big win for SDSU. That came out weird, I love terrible late night blowouts but I don’t want to misrepresent what it is I actually want from this game.

San Jose State at UNLV                            10:30 pm                         ESPNU

I kind of wish it hadn’t occurred to me how odd it is for UNLV to be named Rebels because that’s all I think about for them now. This game is a pretty strong contender for worst teams to play each other in 2017, if you’re wondering about that side of things.

Colorado State at Hawaii                          11:59 pm        MWN/Spectrum PPV

This is a beautiful terrible game. I want so badly to watch but it could really lead to a divorce. I’m sure this holds true in some form for almost everybody reading this. If anybody reads this part. Mountain West Network can’t have a subscriber base larger than like 100,000 households can it?

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[thecollegefootballguy]

2019 Top Games of the Week: Week 5

Week 5 isn’t as good as Week 4 if you’re into good, meaningful ranked matchups. The few matchups between ranked teams have little to do with the Playoff. But that’s fine, this is the space where this blog thrives. It might not look like it on the surface, but there’s a ton to watch if you’re willing to look underneath the veneer of the Playoff race. Let me show you...

The Top Ten Games of the Week

10. NC State 3-1 (0-0) at Florida State 2-2 (1-1)

After Clemson the ACC Atlantic race is WIDE OPEN. NC State was a favorite to compete for the runner-up spot, but the Wolfpack’s loss to West Virginia has thrown that assumption into question. Florida State is slowly clawing their way back to relevance. It’s not happening fast but I think it’s happening. I’m not sure the Seminoles will win here, but they have the raw talent to do it at least. That’ll put FSU back on track to making a bowl, which is honestly a big step here.

9. #12 Penn State 3-0 (0-0) at Maryland 2-1 (0-0)

Boy this one lost a bit of shine after Maryland’s faceplant against Temple. Then Temple lost to Buffalo lol. It’ll be interesting to see how the Terrapins rebound from that embarrassment. We’ve seen what their offense is capable of when running correctly. Penn State will probably stomp the Terps here, but I’d love to see what happens if it becomes a shootout.

8. #5 Ohio State 4-0 (1-0) at Nebraska 3-1 (1-0)

I still can’t believe this is where Gameday decided to go. Ohio State is going to come to Lincoln and whip the Cornhuskers just as they have for the previous two seasons. I think the Huskers are getting better, by the way, but I’d be surprised if this isn’t another blowout.

7. Duke 2-1 (0-0) at Virginia Tech 2-1 (0-0)

Hell, as far as I know this will decide the ACC Coastal. I mean, probably not, but you never know. Duke has taken care of business after losing to Alabama in very predictable fashion. Somebody has to come out and challenge Virginia for the division. It could be the Blue Devils, or it could be that team that never ever loses to the Hoos. Virginia Tech has, frankly, looked like trash all season. I don’t have high hopes for the Hokies, but Duke is a pretty good intermediate opponent before the real heavy hitters come along. This is a pretty good opportunity to start looking good.

6. Washington State 3-1 (0-1) at #19 Utah 3-1 (0-1)

This probably would have been the #1 game of the week if things had gone differently in Week 4. Utah’s loss to USC has now put the Utes on their back feet in the PAC-12 South race. They pretty much need to win out to have a good chance at repeating as the South champion. Wazzu was once again looking like the North dark horse before a stunning upset at the hands of UCLA last Saturday night. The Cougars similarly need to step up their game to compete in the tougher of the two PAC-12 divisions.

5. Mississippi State 3-1 (1-0) at #7 Auburn 4-0 (1-0)

I think I’ve misjudged Auburn so far this season. The Tigers passed their first SEC test against Texas A&M, but the schedule doesn’t ease up. Mississippi State is no pushover and the Bulldogs are reorienting their offense, hopefully for the better.

4. #18 Virginia 4-0 (2-0) at #10 Notre Dame 3-1

I’ll put a ranked vs ranked games behind games featuring an unranked participant if it’s warranted. I think in this case it’s warranted. I’m very proud of Virginia and I hope they continue to have a good season, but I highly highly doubt they’ll be able to even threaten Notre Dame. Maybe the Irish will have a bit of a hangover after losing to Georgia but I don’t see it.

3. Arizona State 3-1 (0-1) at #15 California 4-0 (1-0)

Cal has shown a whole lot of upside, and the offense finally started scoring against Ole Miss last week. Arizona State is modeled in a similar manner, though perhaps not as successfully as the Bears just yet.  I would not at all be surprised if this game ends 12-10 or 9-7 or something godawful like that, but that means either team has a good shot at winning based on field position, turnovers, and penalties. Can Cal remain the PAC-12′s surprise dark horse?

2. #24 Kansas State 3-0 (0-0) at Oklahoma State 3-1 (0-1)

With how fascinating the middle of the Big 12 pack is, it’s surprising only one game from that conference makes the list. The rest of the games this week aren’t all that interesting in my opinion. We’ll find out a whole lot about who’s going to be chasing OU and UT as more of these teams play each other.

1. #21 USC 3-1 (2-0) at #17 Washington 3-1 (0-1)

This is the only game this week where two Power 5 teams with a real chance of finishing first in their division are playing each other. It could also be a preview of the PAC-12 Championship Game. USC is leading the South after the Trojan’s win over Utah. Washington is still reeling from their loss to Cal two weeks ago, but the Huskies can still get right back to the top of the standings as they host Oregon, Utah, and archrival Washington State. Last time these two played, USC upset #4 Washington during College Gameday to spoil an undefeated regular season for the Huskies.

-

5 Group of 5 Games of the Week

5. Coastal Carolina 3-1 (0-0) at Appalachian State 3-0 (0-0)

I had a couple of good candidates for the #5 spot this week, but I ended up picking this conference matchup in the Sun Belt East. App State has a very real chance of going undefeated. Failing that, the Mountaineers should win the conference yet again, but that means taking care of business against Coastal Carolina, who have a P5 win (even if it’s Kansas).

4. Arkansas State 2-2 (0-0) at Troy 2-1 (0-0)

Two of the Sun Belt’s stalwarts square off in Troy. The winner will have some nice momentum before likely losing to App State at some point.

3. BYU 2-2 at Toledo 2-1 (0-0)

Here’s a pretty neat non-conference matchup. BYU has demonstrated how serious they are at competing at the highest level. The Cougars have taken down blue bloods Tennessee and USC and are looking to make a big statement this year. Toledo is usually one of the best MAC teams but the Rockets are going to be up against a very stiff challenge from Brigham Young.

2. Cincinnati 2-1 (0-0) at Marshall 2-1 (0-0)

The best G5 non-conference matchup for the week is definitely the bout between Cincinnati and Marshall. The Bearcats are fighting uphill in the AAC East race and the Thundering Herd look like the out and out favorites to win the C-USA East division.

1. Navy 2-0 (1-0) at Memphis 3-0 (0-0)

The AAC West is going to be a fascinating race. Memphis is definitely the favorite, but with Tulane and SMU seemingly on the rise, the Tigers are going to have some competition. Navy had a tough time in 2018, but the Midshipmen dispatched East Carolina with such ease they’re looking like they can pose a much bigger threat this year.

-

FCS Games of the Week

7. #20 Delaware 3-1 (1-0) at Pittsburgh 2-2 (0-1)

I wouldn’t put it past Pittsburgh to lose this one right after beating UCF.

6. #10 Towson at #9 Florida

I’m just saying.

5. #12 Nicholls State 2-1 (1-0) at Texas State 1-3 (1-0)

All joking about the previous two FBS-FCS matchups aside, this looks like an upset waiting to happen. Nicholls has plowed through their first two FCS opponents with ease and will be heading into San Marcos with a full head of steam. The Colonels used to play Texas State every year in a rivalry game. I’m not sure if the Paddle Trophy will be exchanged here.

4. #18 Montana 3-1 (0-0) at #4 UC Davis 2-2 (0-0)

The Big Sky is usually good for at least one good football game a week, and Week 5 is no exception. Montana comes to Davis with the hopes of wresting away one of the coveted Playoff byes from the Aggies.

3. #12 Maine 2-2 (0-1) at #8 Villanova 4-0 (1-0)

The CAA is usually good for two good football games a week. Maine and Villanova have already had a few contests on the FCS Game of the Week and will probably play several more as the best league in 1-AA sorts itself out.

2. #2 James Madison 3-1 (0-0) at #24 Elon 2-2 (1-0)

The best squad in the CAA faces their first tough FCS road game this year as the JMU Dukes head to Elon to face off against the rising Phoenix.

1. #5 Weber State 1-2 (0-0) at #9 Northern Iowa 2-1 (0-0)

The FCS does such a better job creating exciting non-conference matchups than the FBS. Almost every week for the first month of the season we get a top ten matchup. Weber State and Northern Iowa have only lost (barely) to FBS opponents so far, so this is a real Playoff preview here.

[jwallenfishing-blog]

KBF The Ten @ Bienville Plantation

 “Because in life, there are places that we must go and share together. The things in life that are most important to us.” I read this on a promotional video highlighting Bienville Plantation’s trophy bass fishery.  As, I sit back a day or two removed from experiencing this fishery first hand at the Kayak Bass Fishing (KBF) “The Ten”, I now have a profound understanding of what exactly the quote was referring to.

 I was fortunate enough to be atop of the best 10 anglers in the Angler of The Year standings for the 2016 KBF tournament series. The 10 of these anglers received invitations to fish a no entry fee, all expenses paid tournament on the incredible Bienville Plantation property on January 27th & 28th. The winner of this event would walk away with a $10,000 purse!

 Leading up to this event, I had daydreams about what all I could do with the $10,000 that I knew I was going to win. I was frantically preparing my tackle to go down to Florida to flip and punch heavy matted hydrilla and milfoil grass beds. I was learning new knots, organizing soft plastic baits, weights, hooks, pegs, line, rods and reels. I studied lake maps and Google Earth for hours. I rigged up my new Hobie Pro Angler 14 with all the gear it could hold. Then the day finally came for me to hit the road, leaving behind a frosty January in Kentucky as well as a girlfriend that was very jealous of all the sun and warmth I was about to enjoy.

 Upon arriving, I was greeted with beautiful weather and the bassiest water I have ever seen. I made my way to our lodging, reserved for “The Ten” anglers. Can you imagine 10 guys all staying under the same roof preparing to fish against each other for $10,000?! The amenities provided at Bienville Plantation are incredible, we all stayed in a 5 bedroom 5 bath cabin that slept 10 very comfortably.  The first full day was reserved for navigation; we were allowed to pedal/paddle around the two lakes reserved for us, Purvis and Thomas; however, we were not allowed to cast a line.  After the navigation day, I was chomping at the bit to get out there and actually fish. I saw HUGE females milling around already prepared nests with big males ready to eat anything that got close. My Lowrance Elite-7 Ti graph stayed completely full of big fish arcs and bait balls all over the lake. I knew that this event could be won sight fishing beds or even from staging females hanging out deep.

 The evening before the tournament was spent with “The Ten” anglers all making their final preparations for one of the biggest competitions any of us have ever been a part. I soon realized what great individuals we have in our sport of kayak bass fishing.  We all shared some insights of what we thought about the waters and cut up with each other a bit, including a little friendly trash talk throughout the evening. I could see myself just meeting up with any one of these guys and just going fishing together as friends, but here we all are trying to beat each other for $10k, any other group of guys would cut throats to get at that prize purse; not with this group!

 Day 1 started in the dark, lines in at 7:00am. I pedaled my Hobie Pro Angler 14 into the darkness with only Supernova Fishing Lights to show me the way. It did not take long until I found some shallow reeds and saw several good-sized swirls that told me there were aggressive bass close by. I made a few cast with a small finesse worm and soon hooked up on a little buck bass that jumped his way off the hook. Since the Hobie is so stable, I stood up to get better leverage on my hooksets and good thing I did. The very next cast my worm got thumped and started taking off to deeper water, I took up the slack and buried the hook into a fat 20.50” largemouth. I got the fish on the Hawg Trough measuring board and snapped the picture all ready to submit to Tourney-X to be judged. The very next cast a little further down the bank of grass; my worm got slammed again by another monster fish, measuring at 20.25”. I worked the area a little more and caught a few smaller males in the 15-16” range. About 20 minutes after landing that last big fish, the zoom worm decided to move off to deeper water all by itself, I didn’t feel the bite but knew one had it. I rammed the Gamakatsu hook as hard as I could, immediately a giant bass went ballistic on top of the water and pulled drag and my Hobie all over the bay I was in, and after a lengthy battle, I finally landed the mean 20” fish.  I continued fishing down a bank with very few bites and nothing but small males. I decided to cover some water in search of some active fish. Picked up a Picasso Lures Shock Blade and it didn’t take long for it to be mauled by a healthy 19.75” bass. So, here I am with 4 good bass on the board for 80.5” and I’m thinking, If I can just get one more good bass I’ll have the best 5 fish total I’ve ever had and might actually have a shot at winning this thing. The day soon wore on and that final piece to the puzzle was seemingly out of reach, I just could not find another kicker. About 2:00, I went back to the area where I caught my bigger fish in the morning and picked that worm back up. First cast, immediately got pounded by a 6+ pound largemouth and the fight was on. I seriously thought that fish was going to break my line, my rod or my arm! We battled each other for a very long time, I finally got it to my R-S Nets USA landing net and knew I had “The One” she measured 21.50” and was well north of 6 pounds.

 That fished pushed me to a Day 1 total of 101.75”, the largest 5 bass (total inches) in KBF history.  I knew I had a good five fish limit but Mr. Ron Champion was right on my heels with 100.75”.

 That evening we all had dinner together at the Bienville Plantation restaurant with great meals provided by Chef Rose Morgan. Chad Hoover of KBF had us doing media updates through Facebook Live all evening long, while in the back of our minds we were all thinking about tomorrow and that $10,000!

The cabin was a little quieter that night, as everyone stayed focused on what he would have to do the next day to bring home the victory.

                    (Ron Champion with a giant Lake Purvis Largemouth)

Day 2 rolled in with a dramatic Florida cold front and that warm Florida sunshine was but a distant memory. I put my Columbia beanie and fleece on and prepared to hit the foggy waters of Lake Purvis once again. The big females that were once up shallow were nowhere to be found, at least for me. I was only able to catch smaller male bass in the 16” range, of which I must have caught 2 dozen.  While I was struggling to put together a decent limit Cory Dryer and Ron Champion were going toe to toe trying to win the first ever “The Ten”. Of course, when you get those two, who are two of the best kayak bass anglers on the planet; what happens? A tie.

 T hese guys put up awesome numbers and after two days and ten bass, they both had scored 195”, with the tiebreaker of big fish going to Cory Dryer with a 23.50” freak of a largemouth! That one fish turned out to be worth $10,000!  

                           (This is what a $10,000 bass looks like)

 Once the dust settled the final standings of the first ever “The Ten” was as follows:

 1.       Cory Dryer (NC)- 195”

2.       Ron Champion (GA)- 195”

3.       Jamie Dension (NC) -  190.75”

4.       Jason Broach (FL) – 188.5”

5.       AJ McWhorter (KY) -  187”

6.       Jay Wallen (KY) - 184.25”

7.       Clint Henderson (GA) – 176”

8.       Joshua Stewart (TN) – 169.75”

9.       Jody Queen (VA) – 142.5”

10.   Mel Ashe (MO) – 87.5”

*Note that there were 6 anglers competing out of Hobie’s and they finished 1st thru 6th!

 What I soon realized is that this event was not about winning $10,000. This event was about going to certain places that we must, and share them together and the most important things in life are the relationships you build with each other. These “Ten” will always share a bond from our time at Bienville Plantation and I personally consider Cory, Ron, Jamie, Jason, AJ, Clint, Joshua, Jody and Mel all brothers from this point forth.

       (Jamie Dension with a bucketmouth that solidified his 3rd Place finish)

 *A special thank you to Jimmy, Rose and the Bienville Plantation staff. Chad Hoover, Kristie Hammonds and Joe Haubenreich of KBF for putting on an incredible event that I will not soon forget. Thank you to Picasso Lures, Livingston Lures, Tourney-Tag, Cal Coast Fishing, Yeti and Bending Branches for providing incredible sponsor support. I would be remiss if I did not also thank the people who support me personally and allow me to travel this great country and chase bass around in a kayak; Hobie Fishing, Backwater Outfitters, Picasso Lures, Xcite Baits, Cal Coast Fishing, R-S Nets USA, Supernova Fishing Lights, SC Wake and Columbia Sportswear.

[ta1lulah]

yep. so apparently this is what i’m doing with my quarantine time now.

i am going to rank every travis scott song from his studio albums. there are quite a few instances where i find it impossible to put one song over the other, so the top 1-10 is pretty interchangeable to me. including the deluxe edition songs, there are 47 songs for me to rank in total.

this is in no way me trashing trav’s music (if you don’t know me i literally live so far up his ass that if he sneezed i would come out of his nostrils and have done for many years), it’s just something that i am scarily qualified to write about and should entertain me for a while.

just as a quick pre-cursor to the list: birds is my favourite trav album by far and astroworld had a lot of skips for me, so of course that is reflected. if you don’t agree with that i don’t really care; my mind cannot be changed.

yes i am aware that owl pharaoh and dbr exist.

i’ll explain my choices as best as i can, let’s go

47. wonderful

i fucking HATE this song. ruins the entire vibe of birds and the only song on the entire record that i will ever skip. after having the ends as an intro and apple pie closing off rodeo, i just don’t know what this song is doing. it needs to be deleted

46. nc-17

it’s ok. i just always skip it and it’s very plain to me, i’m not mad at it

45. stop trying to be god

SO overrated. i don’t get it at all. boring fucking song to me

44. rip screw

as above

43. carousel

loved it when i first heard it but it got old super quickly and has little replay value to me. bangs when you haven’t heard it in a while

42. coffee bean

in theory i should like it but i just don’t like the execution. i appreciate it but it’s not for me

41. flying high

i know this song gets trashed on a lot and i dont agree with that completely. it’s a good song but again doesn’t have the heavy replay value that the majority of rodeo has (not to mention it ruins the flow of rodeo, in my opinion)

40. houstonfornication

OVERRATED. when astroworld dropped i saw so so many people putting this in their top 3 off the record and i simply don’t get it at all. it’s a solid song but it’s boring, i never find myself putting this song on voluntarily

39. sicko mode

it was inevitably going to come in low. you may know that i dont trash talk drake, but seriously fuck the second half of this song that drake RUINS. i could happily go about the rest of my life without hearing this song ever again. trav’s first verse is the only reason this is not placed in the 40’s

38. ok alright

from this point on i dont dislike any of these songs and this was pretty painful to place. this song goes, but i am unable to place it any higher. it just feels like a (very good) throwaway track that got slung onto the deluxe edition. also q and trav should sound better than this, i think they could’ve made something better than this track together, i wanted their song to sound like it could’ve been on oxymoron (a wholly flawless record).

37. who? what!

i’m actually really fond of this song and listen to it a lot. to me it just sounds out of place on astroworld and was definitely a huncho jack throwaway

36. stargazing

the beat change aged like old milk. i will admit when i first heard this though, i loved it so much. and the feeling you get when the intro to stargazing starts playing before trav comes out on stage is unmatched, so it has a special place in my heart for that alone. in terms of astroworld as a whole, i think it’s the perfect first song for the album

35. goosebumps

maybe ive heard it way too many times, i’m not sure. but it would feel wrong for me to place this in my top 30, i dont find myself putting it on ever. a classic nevertheless

34. pray 4 love

i used to fuck with this song so much but recently it’s just not doing it for me. something about listening to it now just makes it sound corny to me. “wanna know my dick longer than a pringle box” will live on forever

33. wake up

bangs, but again this song is corny as fuck (maybe it’s just the weeknd as i’m seeing a theme now)

32. 5% tint

solid song, can’t put m y finger on it but it just lacks personality, outro is godly though

31. guidance

i love this song seriously, but i can understand why lots of people don’t. it fits perfectly on birds and it’s placement within the album is stunning, but as a standalone track it’s pretty weak. i would love trav to make more songs in this style

30. wasted

this song is slept on, i love it so much. but if the yung lean version had made it onto rodeo this would be a top 10 track EASY.

29. butterfly effect

we all know this song goes, i listened to this way way way too much when it was first released

28. outside

this was painful. the 21 savage feature is flawless, this song is so interesting to me. beat is gorgeous

27. astrothunder

pretty song, didn’t blow me away but i’m super fond of it. the way tracks 11-15 of astroworld play is perfect and really redeemed the album for me

26. 90210

yep. honestly if this is in your top 3 favourite travis songs i have nothing to say to you. beautiful song, second half is stunning, we all know that, but how is this top 3. LISTEN TO BIRDS IN FULL!!!

25. yosemite

i really like this song but i can’t take it seriously because of nav microphone-gate. (u know)

24. lose

i LOVE this song, but it’s not strong enough to be top 20. it’s a cute song, i dont know

23. piss on your grave

this song has such a special place in my heart. the motherfucking visuals!!!

22. 3500

the future verse. that is all.

21. beibs in the trap

the way this is placed on the album are you kidding me?! perfect. and yes, because it’s nav it missed out on a top 20 spot. it is what it is (the trav verse is absolutely flawless in every way)

20. never catch me

this deserved to actually be on rodeo rather than a deluxe track. the production wooooowwwweeee

19. maria im drunk

i cant even put into words the way i felt hearing thug say “travis scott” on this song for the first time. and the fucking justin bieber verse! godly

18. sweet sweet

such a *sweet* little song, i have an extreme soft spot for it

17. antidote

i dont have to explain this.we all know this song. if you havent seen it live all i can offer you is my deepest condolences

16. through the late night

kid cudi means everything to me and this partnership was always going to create something sensational <3 it is everything i was expecting and more (side note: i am coming back to this a couple of days later after THE SCOTTS has been announced, yes my entire life is made, and when the joint album drops best believe i will be writing a several thousand word post about it)

15. pornography

there couldn’t possibly be a better opening track to rodeo. this shit is like onomatopoeia, i know u know what i mean

14. skeletons

travis and kevin parker working together! of COURSE the song is this beautiful!!! i need an entire joint album plzzzzzzzzz

13. the ends

3 stacks. no more needs to be said (actually i will say that the fact that he was supposed to narrate this album like ti did for rodeo and that it never happened routinely keeps me up at night)

12. apple pie

this was my favourite song off rodeo for a loooooooong time. im a loser and still tear up when i listen to the record in full and hear the last lines

11.  no bystanders

purely for sheck’s “BITCH!”

10. can’t say

it’s true i do transcend every time i hear “gotta take a long drive up the hill”

9. sdp interlude

perfect in every single way. how/where it’s placed on the record is breathtaking. would be in the number 1 spot if it was longer

8. nightcrawler

oh the sosa verse really means everything to me

7. pick up the phone

come on now. all i will say is this: experience this song live, do yourself a favour. i have a fantasic video of trav and thug performing this live at wireless 2019, but unfortunately my manic screaming/crying ruins the whole fucking video. so just take my word for it

6. coordinate

i genuinely cant fathom how perfect this song is. i hate to use the word “vibe” but jeez the *vibe* this song gives off is unlike any other. THIS is my favourite style of trav’s music

5. impossible

legitimately get chills every time i hear “split a pack of the woods down”. yes. the production!

4. way back

everything about this song. the  second half. again, see this song live is a spiritual experience. also, i couldnt love this song any more but then uzi samples this and it just gave me a WHOLE other layer of appreciation for it. what a fucking song (both prices and way back)

3. i can tell

just listen to this again. the “take it up another notcher” part. how is it real?!!!

2. first take

SOOOOO underrated. never in my life would i ever think that the sentence “bryson tiller killed that” would leave my mouth but here we are. the way this transitions into pick up the phone.

1. oh my

we made it!!!! honestly i struggled so fucking much to find a #1 but i think it will have to be this song because it is just so sentimental to me. when i first listened to rodeo this was immediately my favourite song off it and it still remains perfect in every way several years on. quavo in the second half of the song is STUNNING, words just dont do anything about this song justice

if anyone read to the end here we go, if you think my choices were fucked up and idiotic feel free to send me hate via instagram dm (@ta1lulah, plug!)

my actual favourite travis song of all time fucking ever is skyfall, but as i put earlier i was only ranking songs from studio albums.

in conclusion, birds is a criminally misunderstood masterpiece -ta1lulah

[placetobenation]

SmackDown on Fox Episode #10 SmackDown Episode # 1,059 Fayetteville, NC – Crown Coliseum 12/6/19

We open the show with a video highlighting everything that happened last week between Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt.  The Miz will be kicking off the show tonight. Miz talks about how he was supposed to have Daniel Bryan as his guest on Miz TV, however, nobody has heard from Bryan since The Fiend got a hold of him last week. The Miz says that while he still doesn’t like Bryan he realizes how much Bryan means to both the fans and the rest of the boys in the locker room, The Miz vows to find out what happened to Bryan.  Wyatt then appears on the screen and says that The Fiend may not be done with Bryan and that The Miz doesn’t want to know what The Fiend did to Bryan. Wyatt alludes that Bryan may not make it to TLC and asks Miz if he wants to play instead. Wyatt talks about how he used to have a family (as we see flashes of the Wyatt Family) but now he has a chance to join a new family as he holds up a picture of The Miz and his family. Wyatt then asks The Miz if he wants to play now as Miz marches up the ramp with a purpose and we go to commercial. As we come back from commercial we see The Miz talking to Maryse on the phone and telling her to lock up the house as Bray is unpredictable. Miz tells Maryse that he is leaving the arena immediately and will be headed home.  Match #1 Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville vs Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross As Alexa makes her way to the ring we see two giant 3D yellow heads that are supposed to be Alexa and Nikki that were equally cute and ridiculous looking. Also worth noting that Jessika Carr is refereeing this match and will now be a permanent member of SmackDown’s referee roster. The two women lock up and Alexa takes down Mandy and holds her down until Mandy throws her off and tells Alexa not to touch her face. Alexa gets out of a rear waist lock with a back elbow and a drop toe hold which causes Mandy to roll outside and take a powder. Mandy moves out of the way as Alexa attempts a baseball slide and then she nails Alexa with a bicycle knee strikes that she thankfully landed this week. Mandy slams the face of Alexa on the apron before rolling her back into the ring where she gets a 2 count on a pinfall attempt. Mandy grounds Alexa and then rubs her forearm across the face of Alexa. Mandy then removes Alexa’s eyelashes as the announcers freak out as if they had never seen fake eyelashes before.  Alexa tries to make a comeback but Mandy takes her down with a dropkick and then goes for a cover, but the referee won’t count as Mandy’s foot is outside the ring. Mandy looks to hit the Bed of Roses but Alexa blocks it and then turns an attempted bicycle knee into a roll-up that gets a 2 count. Mandy starts smacking Alexa around while talking trash and saying Alexa will never look like her, eventually, Alexa has had enough as she grabs Mandy by the throat. Alexa has a look on her face that reminds you why they call her the “5 Feet of Fury” as she slams Mandy to the mat. Alexa hits Mandy with a couple of nice right hands and follows up with a basement dropkick. Alexa steps onto Mandy’s body while she uses her foot to repeatedly bash Mandy’s face into the mat. Alexa hits the first part of Insult to Injury but then has to knock Sonya off the apron, Nikki takes care of Sonya with a crossbody off the steps. Mandy tries to pick up a win with an O’Connor roll but Alexa kicks out and then hits Mandy with a wrap-around DDT that didn’t look good at all as Mandy bumps a second before she is supposed to. Alexa goes up top and hits Twisted Bliss to pick up the win in her first match back. Winner: Alexa Bliss via Pinfall    Match Rating: ** First off, I declare this match to be known as “The Battle of the Buns”. It was great to see Alexa back and even better she is back as a 100% babyface (I know she was a babyface before she left but it feels more concrete now than it did then) although she has always been a babyface in my heart. I liked the eyelashes spot as it was something different and actually got the crowd into the match. I was glad to see Mandy hit the bicycle knee this week as that is one of my favorite moves and more times than not she is able to hit it with perfection. I’m curious what they have planned in the future for all four women in this match as it feels like this feud is just a holdover to get through the holidays and hopefully as the new year rolls around they have something bigger planned, but then again I wouldn’t be surprised if all four of them are in the battle royal at WrestleMania.   We go to the back where Drake Maverick approaches Dana Brooke once again and asks what Dave Bautista has that he doesn’t, this leads to Elias coming into the picture and singing a song about Drake not being able to get any nookie and then ends the song talking about Drake’s wife in his bed. Drake slaps Elias and then walks off.  As we come back from a commercial break Drake Maverick is in the ring and is tired of everyone making a mockery of him and his marriage, he wants to fight Elias. Elias comes out and as Maverick charges toward him, Elias is able to hold him off with one hand before bending him over his knee and giving him a spanking before literally kicking him in the butt and sending him out of the ring. Dana throws Maverick back into the ring and Elias hits him with the Drift Away, Dana comes in and puts her foot on Maverick’s chest while Elias counts to 3.

I honestly don’t know what to say about this segment other than why? I have to imagine this leads to a Batista appearance in the future, I could see a segment where Maverick convinces Batista to beat up Elias and then after he does that he turns around and takes out Maverick as well leading to Batista and Dana kissing in the middle of the ring. It’s either that or Maverick and Renee Michelle are revealed to be swingers and they swing with Dana and Batista, that sounds like a crazy idea but at the rate, WWE is going right now I wouldn’t be surprised.  We then go back to The Miz who is on his way out of the building when he is stopped in his tracks as out of the corner of his eye he sees a mysterious room with red lighting, as Miz enters the room he sees the same picture that Wyatt showed earlier only this time it was Bray in the picture instead of The Miz. Bray (who is in his Funhouse gear and not dressed as The Fiend) tells The Miz to say cheese and then lays him out with a Sister Abigail before singing a song about being home for the holidays.  I like how they have changed things up from what we expected as I’m sure everyone was expecting The Fiend vs Daniel Bryan at TLC but instead they were able to build a side feud with Wyatt vs Miz to get through the rest of the year so they can save the big rematch between Bray and Bryan for the Rumble. I like how they are involving Miz’s family in this as it gives the viewers some reason to want to see the match despite knowing for sure that Miz is not winning the match. The most noteworthy thing coming out of the interactions tonight between Miz and Wyatt was the fact that for the first time it was Wyatt attacking someone and not The Fiend, this is a new wrinkle to the story of Bray Wyatt and The Fiend that I am interested in seeing develop. As we come back from commercial we see a referee helping The Miz out as Miz wonders where the picture of his family went. We see the first of two plugs for Tribute to the Troops that they put on earlier that day and I assume will be shown on TV in the next couple of weeks.  New Day makes their way out as they will be on commentary for the next match where the winners will face New Day at TLC for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship. 

Match #2: Mustafa Ali & Shorty G vs Heavy Machinery vs Lucha House Party vs The Revival (4 Way Elimination Match) Shorty and Metalik start the match out with some nice chain wrestling before Shorty makes the tag to Ali. If the pace wasn’t quick enough already Ali and Metalik turned it up to max speed as they did a sequence where they were countering and dodging each other’s moves, the sequences ended with Metalik cartwheeling out of a running hurricanrana from Ali. Metalik tags in Dorado and then Tucker tags himself in. Tucker shows his agility by flipping over Dorado on a drop-down and then both men hit simultaneous dropkicks. Tucker and Dorado show respect to each other which draws the ire of The Revival who come in and are quickly taken down by Tucker and Dorado with dropkicks. Tucker picks up Dorado in a back suplex position and uses him as a battering ram to knock the other teams off the apron. Dorado hits a handspring stunner on Tucker and then both men make tags to their respective partners. Dorado takes Otis down with a dropkick and then Lucha House Party hit simultaneous moonsaults to the outside onto their opponents. Dawson hits Dorado with a suplex on the outside and then Metalik springboards into the arms of Otis and this leads to Heavy Machinery hitting the Compactor to eliminate Lucha House Party and this sends us to commercial. As we come back from commercial Shorty is working over the arm of Tucker until Tucker makes a comeback and slams Shorty. Wilder tags himself in and then cuts off Tucker before he can make a tag, Wilder takes Tucker down with a double leg only to get pushed back into the corner which allows Shorty to tag himself back in. Shorty runs into a big hip toss from Tucker and as he rolls into The Revival’s corner Dawson tags himself in. Dawson gets hits with a back body drop and this allows Tucker to finally make the hot tag to Otis. Otis slams Dawson and then gives us a striptease as he pulls his shirt off, Otis then Hulks up and suplexes Dawson across the ring. Otis hits Dawson with an avalanche in the corner and as he does Wilder makes the blind tag. Otis hits the Caterpillar elbow drop on Dawson but as soon as he does Wilder catches him with a sunset flip which is enough for the 3 count and just like that Heavy Machinery is eliminated. There is a staredown between the two remaining teams that turns into a brawl that goes to the outside. The Revival taunt New Day and try to throw Shorty and Ali back in the ring but the babyfaces counter and end up sending The Revival over the top of the announce table and into New Day. We go to commercial as all three teams are arguing at ringside.

As we come back from the break we see that Dawson has Shorty in a Gory special which Shorty turns into a roll-up for 2. Dawson makes a tag to Wilder who cuts Shorty off from making the tag, but this would end up backfiring as Shorty hits a German suplex on both men. Ali tags himself in and we get a German suplex and superkick double team spot on Wilder that got them another 2 count as Dawson broke up the pin. Shorty knocks Dawson and himself over the top rope and to the floor with a running crossbody. Ali tries for the roll-through X-Factor but is caught with a nice lariat by Wilder, Ali then tries for the tornado DDT but Wilder turns that into a power slam. Wilder tries for a suplex but Ali is able to escape and get Wilder in a pinning position only to be kicked straight into the corner where this time Ali hits the tornado DDT.  Ali goes up top looking for the 450 but Dawson pulls Wilder out of the ring at the right time but instead of crashing to the mat Ali is able to roll through it. Ali gets caught on a tope attempt and is tossed into the timekeeper area only for Shorty to take The Revival down moments later by diving off the apron. Shorty looks to hit a top rope moonsault but Wilder gets his foot up only for Shorty to catch the foot and lock in the ankle lock. Wilder rolls through to get out of the ankle lock and sends Shorty right into an uppercut from Dawson and then moments later The Revival hit the Shatter Machine to pick up the win. Winners: The Revival via Pinfall    Match Rating: ***¼

I really enjoyed this match as it was action-packed and ever never slowed down. I really liked everything in the match involving Lucha House party especially when Metalik and Ali were in there together. I really hope in the future once they decide to split the Lucha House Party that they give Metalik a decent push as he is so good and deserves a bigger spotlight be shown on him. I look forward to the New Day vs The Revival match at TLC as I feel these two teams have yet to have that classic match that has everyone talking.

After the match, The Revival cut a passionate promo about being sick of the New Day’s jokes and silliness but that will end when they become SmackDown Tag Team Champions. The Revival vow to take things back to the old-school with some old-school tag team wrestling. The Revival tells New Day they can go back to doing their podcast so they can tell the world they just got beat by the best team in the company. 

We get a video recapping what happened last week with Reigns delivering a proper ass whooping to Robert Roode. Roman is interviewed backstage and says that he plans on embarrassing Corbin in their TLC match at the TLC PPV. Michael Cole hypes the fact that CM Punk will be back on WWE Backstage next week.

We see another video from Sheamus to hype his return. Match #3: Lacey Evans vs Haley Jones Lacey’s opponent for this match must have come straight from her day job of being the ringmaster at the circus. They lock up and Lacey tosses Haley down and then hits her with an arm drag which leads to Lacey working on the arm for a minute. Haley gets to her feet but Lacey slams her right back down to the mat. They lock up again and Lacey backs Haley into the corner which leads to Haley trying to make a comeback with some weak forearms. Lacey counters a whip to the ropes and hits the Woman’s Right to pick up the win. Winner: Lacey Evans via Pinfall  Match Rating: DUD

After the match, Sasha Banks comes out and says that Lacey had better not lay a finger on her or Bayley again and mentions something about Lacey’s daughter which gets an instant reaction of Lacey who tells Sasha that she better never mention her daughter again. Lacey talks about being a marine and says she will drop Sasha where she stands. Lacey throws a feint woman’s right and Sasha falls back as she was anticipating the punch, but instead, all she got was an embarrassment. As Lacey is walking up the ramp she is attacked by Bayley, the Boss N Hug Connection beatdown the Sassy Southern Belle and stand tall above Lacey.

After two weeks I have to say I am liking babyface Lacey and according to tonight’s crowd, the fans are liking it as well as they chanted Nasty toward Sasha. I thought Lacey cut a really good promo and I’m happy to hear that she is talking more natural and no longer has the long drawn out cadence to her promos. I liked how Lacey got some shine on Sasha by making her look a fool while and then immediately turns around and gets her heat back as she helps Bayley beat down Lacey, as all three women got over in the segment. This is one of the matches I’m looking forward to at TLC. I couldn’t help but laugh a little when Lacey said something about not only being a mother but also being a marine because there is a commercial that I see for an attorney that is based here in South Carolina (as well as Georgia) where the main selling point as to why you should come to him is that he is a former marine, all she had to do was tell us to call 999-9999 and she would’ve just done a commercial for George Sink.  After a commercial break, we get another video package focussing on Tribute to the Troops.  Match #4: Roman Reigns vs Dolph Ziggler The tights that Ziggler wore in this match looked like they came straight from Brutus Beefcake’s closet. Ziggler tries to go for a single leg takedown but Reigns grabs a front face lock which gets broken when Ziggler reaches the ropes. Ziggler kicks Reigns in the knee and then delivers a neck breaker for a near fall. Ziggler rakes the eyes of Reigns before grounding him with a rest hold until Reigns fights back and gets to his feet only for Ziggler to slam him back down to the mat by his hair. Ziggler waits for Reigns to get up so he can hit a stinger splash in the corner, but instead, he is met with an uppercut from Reigns. Ziggler rolls to the outside so he can sucker in Reigns and sure enough, it works as Ziggler dodges an attempted Drive-By and sends Reigns into the steps as we go to commercial.

We come back from break and see that Ziggler has Reigns grounded and is working on the arm, Reigns tries for a roll-up out of nowhere that gets a near fall and then Reigns is hit with a dropkick. Ziggler then starts toying around with Reigns which only fires Reigns up as he comes back with a couple of uppercuts before he is sent face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Reigns rolls outside which allows Ziggler to throw him into the barricade and then right back into the ring where he gets a 2 count off a pin attempt. Ziggler grounds Reigns once again with a chin lock, eventually, Reigns escapes the hold and delivers a couple of clotheslines one of which takes Ziggler over the top rope to the floor. Reigns leaps off the steps looking for a Superman Punch but ate a superkick instead. While both men are down at ringside we get the arrival of King Corbin who is being carried down to the ring on the royal sedan as we go to commercial.

We come back to Reigns signaling for the Superman Punch but Ziggler dodges it and then Reigns catches the foot of Ziggler on a superkick attempt only for Ziggler to dodge an uppercut and hit a big jumping DDT that gets a 2 count. Ziggler waits for Reigns to get to his feet and when he does Ziggler goes to hit the Zig Zag, but Reigns hangs onto the top rope only for Ziggler to hit a sunset flip for a 2 count. Reigns finally hit the Superman Punch but it only gets him a 2 count. Reigns goes for the Spear but Ziggler cut him off with a kick to the head and then throws Reigns into the corner shoulder first. Ziggler is able to hit the Zig-Zag finally but that isn’t enough to get the job done. At this point, Corbin comes down from his sedan and gets on the apron to distract the referee only for Reigns to knock him back down to the floor with a Superman Punch. Ziggler tries for a roll-up but Reigns kicks out and then hits Ziggler with a Spear to get the win. Winners: Roman Reigns via Pinfall   Match Rating: ***

After the match, the men who carried Corbin to the ring on the sedan attack Reigns and after fighting them off Reigns is attacked by Corbin momentarily before Reigns fights him off only to be hit with a superkick from Ziggler. Ziggler grabs a set of handcuffs from under the ring and with a 6-on-1 advantage, the heels handcuff Reigns to the ring post in a position where his arms are held up over his head. Ziggler then reaches under the ring once again and this time he pulls out cans of dog food and just as you would expect they poor the dog food all over Reigns and rub it into his face, Corbin delivers the final blow when he hits Reigns with the scepter. The show ends with a handcuffed Reigns covered in dog food and screaming out in anger. I thought I was going to be able to write a review about a good episode of SmackDown, but as expected WWE screws that up as they took two steps backward by booking Reigns to be the sympathetic (and this week you can add humiliated) babyface rather than continuing on from last week where he looked like a badass. The logical booking for this week should’ve seen Reigns taking out Ziggler so that Corbin would be on his own at TLC, however this is WWE and they rarely think logically for long periods of time so instead we got Reigns handcuffed to the ring post and being covered in dog food (I guess we can be thankful it wasn’t dog shit, shoutout to the feud between the British Bulldog and The Rock back in 1999) because that is a sure way to get people to want to see this match. It sucks for both Reigns and Ziggler that people will be talking about how bad the post-match stuff was and completely forget the match they had that was good. With the exception of the dog food part at the end of the show I think this was one of the better shows I have reviewed, there were two good matches, we got more acquainted with babyface Lacey Evans and she is doing great in that role so far, we got the first Alexa Bliss match on SmackDown since she returned last week, and probably most importantly we got a segment that added to the Wyatt character as he attacked someone not dressed as The Fiend. 

That’s it for this week I hope you enjoy the first review that I wrote from my new Microsoft Surface Pro X which was a Christmas present from my mom. 

[mystlnewsonline]

New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/least-10-deaths-snow-ice-record-cold-south/69247/

At least 10 deaths from snow, ice and record cold in South

ATLANTA/January 17, 2018 (AP)(STL.News) — Snow, ice and a record-breaking blast of cold closed runways, highways, schools and government offices across the South and sent cars sliding off roads Wednesday in a corner of the country ill-equipped to deal with wintry weather. At least 10 people died, including a baby in a car that plunged off a slippery overpass into a Louisiana canal.

Icicles hung from a statue of jazz musicians in normally balmy New Orleans, and drivers unaccustomed to ice spun their wheels across Atlanta, which was brought to a near-standstill by little more than an inch (2.5 centimeters) of snow. The beach in Biloxi, Mississippi, got a light coating. And the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill canceled classes as the storm unloaded at least 8 inches (20 centimeters) of snow in Durham and Greensboro.

Even the best drivers had trouble: Retired NASCAR champion Dale Earnhardt Jr. tweeted that he had just used his winch to help pull a car out of a ditch when he drove off the road and into a tree in North Carolina.

“NC stay off the roads today/tonight. 5 minutes after helping these folks I center punched a pine tree,” he reported. A spokesman said Earnhardt was not hurt and his pickup had only minor damage.

Though skies were sunny and bright in many places, temperatures remained below freezing throughout the day in much of the South.

Thousands of schoolchildren and teachers got the day off. Many cities canceled meetings and court proceedings, and some businesses closed. Slippery runways and the need to de-ice planes forced cancellations and delays in New Orleans; Memphis, Tennessee; and Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. Electricity usage surged as people struggled to keep warm.

In Alabama, where some places got at least 3 inches (7 centimeters) of snow, dairy farmer Will Gilmer bundled up for the drive to his milking barn before daybreak in rural Lamar County, the thermometer reading 7 degrees (minus 14 Celsius).

“I probably had four layers on and then insulated coveralls and a heavy coat on over that. I made it OK except for my toes,” he said.

The mercury dropped to record lows overnight in several places in Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana and Mississippi. It was 21 degrees (minus 6 Celsius) before dawn in New Orleans, breaking the city’s record of 23 (minus 5 Celsius), set on the same date in 1977.

At least four people died in Louisiana, including a man knocked off an elevated portion of Interstate 10 in New Orleans when a pickup spun out on ice, and an 8-month-old baby in a car that slid into a canal in suburban New Orleans. The baby’s mother was in critical condition.

Two others died along an icy stretch of I-75 southeast of Atlanta when a driver lost control and hit them, one of them inside a stopped car and the other standing beside it, authorities said.

One person died in a weather-related traffic accident in West Virginia. In the freezing Houston area, a homeless man was found dead behind a trash bin, apparently of exposure, while an 82-year-old woman with dementia succumbed to the cold after walking away from her home. Also, a woman was discovered dead in a snowy park near City Hall in Memphis. The temperature was around 10 degrees (minus 12 Celsius) when she was found.

Snow fell in a wide band that stretched from southeastern Texas all the way to western Massachusetts. And along the Gulf Coast, ice pellets covered the tops of sago palm trees, and stretches of I-10 were closed in Louisiana and across Alabama’s Mobile Bay.

Downtown Atlanta — the corporate capital of the South, notorious for its heavy traffic — was eerily quiet.

Susan Luciano, walking in snow-blanketed Peachtree City just south of Atlanta, was delighted: “It is the most romantic setting. It is beautiful. This is God’s masterpiece … a living postcard.”

Still, dozens of accidents were reported across the Atlanta metro area, one involving a salt truck.

Southern states and cities don’t have the large fleets of snowplows, salting trucks and other snow-removal equipment common in the North.

“Y’all aren’t going to make it!” a driver in a pickup truck yelled at two drivers in compact cars that were spinning their wheels on an icy boulevard near SunTrust Park, where the Atlanta Braves play. “You’re going to slide back down the hill! Turn around!”

Adrian Benton, a 26-year-old native of snowy Buffalo, New York, tried to help.

“The up-north way of dealing with snow needs to come down here,” Burton said of snowplows and salting up North.

Yet one weather expert who grew up in brutal Michigan winters and now lives in Atlanta said Southern winters have the North beat.

Ryan Maue, a meteorologist with the private forecaster Weather.US, said Atlanta’s mostly untreated roads were fraught with icy peril during his car outing Wednesday to the supermarket.

“My little car was struggling even to move,” he said, adding he worried just as much about Southern motorists risking their necks — and those of others  in their “non-winterized cars.”  But he told The Associated Press that Southern comfort is on the way, with the mercury to start rising above freezing by midday Thursday in the region and even into the low 60s (15 Celsius) in spots by the weekend.

Said Maue: “We should feel a widespread warming throughout the South. It will feel wonderful.”

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Reeves reported from Birmingham, Alabama. Associated Press writers Jeff Martin in Atlanta; Jonathan Drew in Durham, North Carolina; David Warren in Dallas; Rebecca Reynolds Yonker in Louisville, Kentucky; Adrian Sainz in Memphis, Tennessee; and Heather Hollingsworth in Kansas City, Missouri, contributed to this report.

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By KATE BRUMBACK and JAY REEVES, by Associated Press – published on STL.News by St. Louis Media, LLC (Z.S)

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[racingtoaredlight]

Degenerate’s guide to college football season 2018 week 8 tv watch ‘em ups

I’m not about to make this a Michigan Wolverines blog but I’ve got to say it warms my heart the way Jim Harbaugh has risen back up in the rankings after being left for dead a few weeks ago. And now he’s facing the football avatars of the sickly Michigan State University so I kind of feel a pull towards rooting him on.

I can’t do that. I would be murdered by my wife and her family. But I might do it.

There’s other stuff happening but with Navy and Miami both effectively dead in the water I’ve already fallen into the mode of only hoping for chaos. There are so many teams that I wish ill upon.

See below for details!

Times are eastern. You can guess whatever else. I might be around to watch with you and I might be outside taking advantage of temperate weather in the desert.

Saturday, October 20

Matchup                                           Time (ET)                 TV/Mobile

Auburn at Mississippi                    12:00pm                     ESPN

Mercifully this one gets rid of itself quickly. Both these teams are bad and the rumors they are a-flyin that Gus Malzahn has all but announced his retirement. Or quitting or whatever. I don’t know if he means to quit coaching altogether or just wants out of Auburn. The racist south lost their best player but he’s a WR and they have three more superstars in that position group. Expect everything to happen and all of it to be inexplicable.

Buffalo at Toledo                             12:00pm             ESPN+ / WGRZ

If things break a certain way, Tyree Jackson could be the #1 quarterback in the 2019 draft. I think he’s probably third at best but somebody could really fall for his potential. Is he closer to Josh Allen as a prospect than he is to Andrew Luck? Absolutely. But imagine the delightful disaster that could be the Giants taking him in the top 10 and then thrusting him into starting duties before he’s ready. The franchise could never recover and isn’t that what we all want? The line has swung towards Buffalo to the point where they’re now favored. Maybe don’t bet this one, though.

20 Cincinnati at Temple                   12:00pm                    ESPNU

Things are setting up nicely for Luke Fickell to return to Ohio State as head coach.

Illinois at 23 Wisconsin                    12:00pm                       FS1

Paul Chryst has a whole season he needs to resurrect if he’s going to live up to his surname. To start he needs to beat the spread against shitty Illinois and that means he needs to beat the hell out of Illinois. The betting public does not trust him to do so but I sort of do. Wisconsin by 40.

Maryland at 19 Iowa                          12:00pm                     ESPN2

The most depressing healthcare story in football comes to the most heartwarming stadium in football and hell if it doesn’t seem like Maryland is the better team, records aside. The spread is shrinking and so is the over under. I don’t feel safe predicting much for either team in terms of outcome but 44 total points? That looks like free money.

Miami (Ohio) at Army                         12:00pm                   CBSSN

This game is crap.

6 Michigan at 24 Michigan State        12:00pm                     FOX

The capacity is limitless for each of these teams to fuck up to the point where you’re not sure whether they mean to play football or not. If I were you and you were betting, I as you would take Michigan State to cover +7.5 and pound the under (40.5.) 

Northwestern at Rutgers                     12:00pm                      BTN

Holy hell this is almost a MAC game.

9 Oklahoma at TCU                              12:00pm                      ABC

Wouldn’t that just be so Gary Barnett to beat Oklahoma right now and kind of fuck over the Big XII Conference. Oklahoma fired their DC last week and here they are favored by 7.5 on the road with an O/U of 61.5. The average total of a Big XII conference game is 94.3.

Tulsa at Arkansas                                 12:00pm                      SECN

Arkansas has started showing signs of life and I don’t know why and I really don’t know why they’re playing Tulsa right now.

North Carolina at Syracuse                  12:20pm               Raycom Sports

If you are unaware, the ACC is full of bad teams this year. UNC might just be the worst of the bunch. So of course they’re going to beat Syracuse today.

Virginia at Duke                                      12:30pm                RSN/ESPN3

The straggler of the early slate is a soul crusher just by listing the teams. UVA is coming off a big upset of Miami that has the Miami faithful, er, questioning their faith. Duke has only 1 loss and a terrible QB who has an odd distribution of hype.

Bowling Green at Ohio                           2:00pm                      ESPN3

Good job by Bowling Green to be bold in a bad situation by firing their coach. 1-11 just feels better without all the extra questions.

Idaho State at Liberty                              2:00pm                      ESPN3

Go Idaho State.

Florida Atlantic at Marshall                     2:30pm                   CBSSN/FB

Luther Campbell’s favorite coach is favored in the road for reasons unknowable. Bet on Marshall here.

Utah State at Wyoming                            2:30pm                      ATTSN

Utah State is a darling of computer rankings and they’re favored by 14 against Wyoming. I’ve got no advice to pair with these things.

Charlotte at Middle Tennessee                3:00pm                      ESPN3

I defy any one of you to offer a cogent expression of expectations for this game.

Eastern Michigan at Ball State                 3:00pm                      ESPN+

Look at all this stupid goddamn MAC football.

Western Michigan at Central Michigan    3:00pm                      ESPN+

At least it’s all happening at once and I won’t see it.

Akron at Kent State                                    3:30pm                      ESPN+

None of it.

1 Alabama at Tennessee                           3:30pm                        CBS

Tennessee got their first conference win in 2 years last week and this week they’ll be slaughtered.

Coastal Carolina at UMass                         3:30pm                     ES/NESN

This is an absolutely perfect weekend to skip football watching.

Colorado at 15 Washington                        3:30pm                        FOX

This is an OK game but it shouldn’t be a contender for best of the week. Brutal slate of games.

Houston at Navy                                           3:30pm                   CBSSN

Ed Oliver had 5 TFL, including 2 sacks, last week. You’d think that would be tough to duplicate against a Navy team that never throws but in two previous games against the Middies Oliver has 25 total tackles, 5 TFL and 2 sacks. He’s a defensive tackle. I understand why he isn’t going #1 overall next year but he should probably go #1 overall next year.

16 NC State at 3 Clemson                               3:30pm                     ESPN

GAME OF THE WEEK! CONTRACT THE ACC!

18 Penn State at Indiana                                  3:30pm                      ABC

I’m not just saying this because I hate Penn State - that 14.5-point line is mighty tempting to bet the Hoosiers. I wouldn’t take Indiana to win but that’s a lot of points to give at home against a team that hasn’t really played up to their rep so far this season.

Kansas at Texas Tech                                       3:30pm                       FS1

My prediction is lots and lots of turnovers from both teams and a final score that’s very disappointing for anybody that roots for and/or bets for the Kansas Jayhawks.

Louisiana at Appalachian State                       3:30pm                     ESPN+

Minnesota at Nebraska                                      3:30pm                     BTN

Our collective dream of an 0-12 season for the Cornhuskers is going to get a serious challenge this week from a pretty bad Minnesota team that isn’t so far away from questioning their own expensive coaching hire.

SMU at Tulane                                                      3:30pm                  ESPNU

The fuccponi’s travel to New Orleans for a debauch and a football game. As far as gambling I wouldn’t touch this one but if you want to see some interesting offensive concepts get in now on Tulane’s modern-ish twist on an option offense. They don’t have any high level talent to speak of but somebody with more to spend is going to scoop up Willie Fritz in the near future.

UTEP at LA Tech                                                  3:30pm                   ESPN+

You aren’t going to see Louisiana Tech favored by 24 over a lot of teams but UTEP isn’t just any shitty team.

Wake Forest at Florida State                               3:30pm                   ESPN2

Florida State is a lot closer to being good again than most people realize. Vegas has noticed and has FSU favored by 10 this week. The rest of you will notice when they beat Notre Dame next week.

California at Oregon State                                    4:00pm                Pac-12N

This is a great Pac-12 After Dark game that is seriously undermined by an early  afternoon start.

Memphis at Missouri                                             4:00pm                    SECN

Drew Lock versus Darrell Henderson in a key RTARL-American cross conference matchup.

Georgia Southern at New Mexico State     6:00pm     11 Sports / AggieVision

SEE FOOTBALL THROUGH THE EYES OF AN AGGIE WITH INCREDIBLE NEW AGGIEVISION VR GLASSES!

22 Mississippi State at 5 LSU                               7:00pm                    ESPN

This is the kind of shit game you can set your watch to. Both of these teams are ranked and, I guess, deservedly so. But that doesn’t mean you should expect good football out of them. Montez Sweat is one of the best players in the country this year and he’s somehow going to get 3 sacks in this game but also lose by 15. Yep, I’m predicting an 18-3 final score.

Texas State at ULM                                                7:00pm                    ESPN3

They got the degenerate part down pat for this one.

10 UCF at East Carolina                                         7:00pm                  ESPN2

The nation’s longest winning streak gets tested by... Whatever. Sometimes ridiculous things happen and ECU winning wouldn’t compare to Old Dominion brutalizing Virginia Tech a couple of weeks ago in terms of insane upsets.

  UConn at 21 USF                                                    7:00pm                   CBSSN

USF and UCF are barreling towards a huge end-of-season showdown and UConn shouldn’t really put up much of a fight here. The Bulls are favored by 32.5 at home and it would honestly be a big disappointment if they don’t beat the spread. One of my favorite things each week the last couple of seasons has been seeing the hilarious final scores of UConn games.

UTSA at Southern Miss                                          7:00pm                   ESPN+

I don’t like this ESPN+ nonsense one bit. Because I haven’t ever figured out what the hell it is and a game like this screams out for the CBS Sports or FOX regional treatment.

Fresno State at New Mexico                                   7:30pm                  ESPNU

ESPNU, on the other hand, I understand. This trash is in its perfect place as a game you put on the tablet to stare at some bullshit while whatever you actually are watching is at commercial.

North Texas at UAB                                                  7:30pm        beIN SPORTS

Oh, hell yes. This is beautiful. I’m rolling with the UNTs +1.5 and over 54.5.

2 Ohio State at Purdue                                             7:30pm                ABC

I find Ohio State football to be deeply and eternally unsatisfying. I can’t count on them to win or lose the way I like. Oh, well, as long as Dwayne Haskins keeps racking up 5 or 7 passing TDs a game they can do whatever the hell they want in every other facet.

Old Dominion at WKU                                               7:30pm              ESPN+

If ODU can finish 1-11 this season we are all winners.

12 Oregon at 25 Washington State                           7:30pm               FOX

I hate the national scheduling making this start in daylight hours but I love everything else about this game. Both QBs were on the RTARLsman list this week as one is the legitimate best QB in the country and the other is leading the country in most counting stats.

Rice at FIU                                                                   7:30pm               ESPN+

Holy crap does Rice suck. This is better left out of sight out of mind.

Vanderbilt at 14 Kentucky                                          7:30pm               SECN

Kentucky being ranked in football is unnatural and bad and I hope it stops soon.

USC at Utah                                                                 8:00pm               Pac-12N

No idea what to expect from either team and I still don’t think of it as a conference game but I find these two uniforms to be aesthetically pleasing.

Arizona at UCLA                                                         10:30pm            ESPN2

Now that UCLA has won a game I don’t know what to do with my hands. I kind of want Sumlin and Kelly to work out for at least a little while in the Pac.

San Jose State at San Diego State                            10:30pm            CBSSN

SDSU isn’t the best they’ve been in recent vintage but SJSU is an abomination of a team that might just be the worst in America. Classic degenerate watch ‘em up. Sometimes San Diego State wears cool looking unis and the contrast between their shiny maroon and black should be very nice against San Jose’s blue, yellow and white.

Nevada at Hawaii                              11:59pm     Spectrum/Nevada Sports Net

Hawaii disappointed me greatly last week but I still love them eternally just for playing so late when they’re at home. This is kind of an ugly uniform matchup but it could still be a fun, wild and crazy game between middling teams that do cool stuff on offense.

[junker-town]

Hey Ohio State, Iowa just gave you a Stone Cold Stunner in a surprise bar fight

The Top Whatever is a weekly ranking of only the college football teams that are ranked in The Top Whatever.

1. Iowa.

The Top Whatever does whatever it wants and what it wants to do. What it wants to do this week is put Iowa at number one.

Why? Because of all the cataclysmic beatdowns, ass-handings-to, and defeats handed out on Saturday, none — we repeat, none — were more unexpected, complete, or stunning than Iowa beating Ohio State 55-24, effectively throwing the Big Ten’s Playoff hopes into the river and handing Urban Meyer the starkest loss of his lifetime.

Don’t say you saw this coming. Maybe you hoped for a solid Ferentz-ing, sure, in which Iowa turns the game into a whole lot of nothing, like Iowa’s 14-13 upset of Michigan in 2016. Some other inert foolishness like a safety or two or a blocked punt would happen.

Playing an underdog Iowa and losing is supposed to be like being crushed to death by a refrigerator. It’s your fault for trying to move it alone.

This was not that kind of Iowa win. This was three hours of raining sledgehammers without a single piece of shelter. This was a battering. This was the point in a wrestling match when a desperate wrestler reaches for the rope, almost grabs it, and is then dragged back to the middle of the ring by their heels, kicking and screaming.

It’s not just that Iowa pulled off the Stone Cold Stunner. It’s that Ohio State sold it so theatrically, with J.T. Barrett throwing four INTs and the defense giving up over 500 yards to a team that struggled to score 10 on Northwestern ... in an overtime game. I mean: Iowa QB Nathan Stanley — who’s fine, but not the quarterback on the field being considered for the Heisman — threw for five TDs.

That stat alone is spitting out the beer on the flop, Ohio State, but if you’re into history: this was the most points an Urban Meyer team has ever given up, ever. The list of teams Iowa scored more points than in that data sample includes the scorching 2008 Oklahoma Sooners, who scored an FBS-record 702 points that year before only getting 14 in a loss to Florida in the title game. (The offensive coordinator for that team, Kevin Wilson, called the game for Ohio State this Saturday.)

Iowa topped that, and even threw in two fakes, including a fake punt deep in their own territory when up by 35. Iowa is a mild-mannered account manager most of the time, just hoping to mostly go 8-4 and get a nice vacation in Florida once a year. Then, one night a year, they get way too drunk and start a bar fight with someone who wakes up on the floor, thinking, I did NOT see that coming, and certainly not from that guy.

It’s your floor, Ohio State. Lay down on it for a minute. Find a pizza down there. It’s been there way longer than five seconds, but it’s a bit late to care about food safety.

The Big Ten’s reaper wears black and gold, and he runs outside zone all game long.

2. Clean underwear

TOUCHDOWN WAZZU wait what the hell http://pic.twitter.com/QNedfGhaSL

— SB Nation (@SBNation) November 4, 2017

Your parents might not be happy with you charging the field to celebrate, sir. But they are happy that when you did it, at least you had a clean pair of drawers on to show that you were raised to make yourself presentable.

3. Georgia.

Defeated South Carolina 24-10. The teams most people rightfully compare this Georgia team to are Nick Saban’s Alabama teams, and that’s fine. They play suffocating, pattern-reading defenses, run the hell out of the ball, and get timely play from their quarterbacks. Like a lot of Saban teams, the smartest guy on the team does happen to be an inside linebacker.

In this case that’s Roquan Smith, who knows exactly what your play is at least 90 percent of the time. Smith is a football genius, and watching him diagnose plays in real time is mandatory viewing for football geeks.

But — and this is no small compliment — it’s also hard to not compare them to the undefeated 2004 Auburn team. There are two running backs, presenting different challenges to defenses, but each strong enough to carry a team by themselves if necessary. There’s a mobile quarterback who refuses to make mistakes. There’s a rock-solid defense.

The one key difference, historically speaking: 2004 Auburn played The Citadel, ULM, and Louisiana Tech, while UGA played fellow Playoff contender Notre Dame on the road and won. That might make all the difference in the world when selection time comes.

If this offends Auburn fans, that’s also fine. The Tigers host Georgia this Saturday. They can shut down this comparison themselves, if they like.

4. Miami.

Led Virginia Tech around by the nose in a 28-10 win. Since we’ve been saying this for a month now, we’ll keep saying it: the Canes are the team that’s totally comfortable in a close game, because they’re the source and solution to all of their own problems.

Miami took a 14-0 lead, then helped give that early lead away when QB Malik Rosier threw two interceptions, allowing Virginia Tech to creep to 14-10 in the third. Counterpunchers are happy to wait. The Canes waited for VT to make a mistake — a fumble for turnover, followed by a penalty for a late hit on Rosier — and then capitalized on a deep strike to Christopher Herndon IV that effectively put the game away.

The rest was Virginia Tech thrashing away in vain, followed by shots of Jennifer Lopez holding up her own turnover chain. It’s not science, but when a team has a pet celebrity mascot or two, a couple of good props, and the ability to stay chill in single-score games, the issue of having overwhelming talent doesn’t matter much.

This is all working, and if it works against Notre Dame in Miami this coming week, everyone will have to come around to America’s Most Relaxed Team being a Playoff contender, single-digit wins and all.

5. Turnover Plank.

Kennesaw State is 8-1 and defeated Montana State 16-14 yesterday. They do not have a turnover belt, turnover chain, or turnover trash can. They have a turnover plank.

Why aren't we all discussing @kennesawstfb turnover plank? http://pic.twitter.com/xbQ6P5myqw

— Mike Foster (@MichaelFosterSN) November 5, 2017

That’s an Ed, Edd, and Eddy reference on a college football sideline. It does not overstate the case to say that I would take a knife for Kennesaw State and the Turnover Plank right now.

6. Notre Dame.

48-37 over Wake Forest reminds us: Notre Dame is so good that we can all start drafting compliments based off their innate strength. If a good chunk of Georgia’s excellence is based off beating Notre Dame, why not note Wake Forest is pesky as hell and pressed the Irish harder than a lot of other, allegedly better teams on their schedule? That’s how good you are right now, Notre Dame. We can talk about how good the other team was.

What isn’t good is Brandon Wimbush suffering a nasty contusion to his hand when a Wake defender ran helmet-first into it or running back Josh Adams missing the second half with what Brian Kelly called “not feeling right”, whatever that is. Also, the Irish gave up over 500 yards offense to Wake Forest, including 331 yards through the air. Miami might notice that.

They might also notice that, even without Adams, Notre Dame still ran for 380 yards, because 2017 is the year the best teams all decided the forward pass was overrated.

7. Oklahoma.

62-52 over Oklahoma State on the road in Stillwater. The entire box score is summarized below.

BAKER MAYFIELD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MAGIC

There is not a game Oklahoma’s defense cannot lose, and there is not a game Baker Mayfield’s offense cannot win. He threw for 598 yards and 5 TDs — and also two INTs, including a late pick in the redzone to give Oklahoma State its last chance.

Any Playoff involving Mayfield vs. the Alabama defense is a matchup we would endorse. Win or lose for Oklahoma, it would be four quarters of breathless, hell-for-leather football, and at the end, everyone would be very, very tired.

After Bedlam, the combined offenses of Oklahoma and Oklahoma State have gained six miles of offense this season, or double the three miles or so of distance gained by the combined Florida and Florida State offenses. The worst offense for this in the country is UTEP, which has gained just over a mile through nine games. UTEP can’t even get you to the nearest gas station, man.

8. Alabama.

24-10 processing of LSU. Speaking of excellent teams who believe the forward pass is a detriment to American society, Alabama had one of those games when, for a few tantalizing moments, it looked vulnerable.

LSU outgained Alabama, outrushed the five-headed Alabama running attack, and did a few things downfield to suggest Alabama’s defense might let a competent team push the ball around. Alabama is basically running Kansas State’s 2014 offense with five-star talent, right down to the pop pass over the middle of the field. Better teams, like LSU, know it’s coming and can sometimes clamp down on it.

Unfortunately for everyone else, this is usually when Alabama sees this on tape, too, and locks down those weaknesses in the system. The Borg didn’t get the whole galaxy scared by being sloppy for long, y’all, but it does knock them down a few pegs for the week.

P.S. The Borg also need to work on that strength of schedule, but it’s not their fault they’ve laid such thorough waste to everything around them that finding a test is a real challenge.

9. Clemson.

Outraced NC State 38-31, because this NC State team and this Clemson team under current management only play close games. Kelly Bryant is coming along nicely after an ankle injury, and the defensive numbers might be a bit deceptive because a.) Ryan Finley is an underrated QB, and b.) Clemson forced turnovers when it had to, including a game-clinching INT with NC State driving in the waning seconds.

The Tigers also made an NC State fan so mad he did this, and I believe this is a bullet point on their Playoff resume.

Everyone gets the finger!!! #madncstatefans http://pic.twitter.com/DNrpBKQXrK

— billy weaver (@billyweaver14) November 5, 2017

10. TCU.

Winners of a rare Big 12 slugfest with Texas 24-7. A loss to Iowa State and an otherwise clean slate? TCU is basically Oklahoma minus one Mayfield and plus one very good defense. (See: Allowing Texas to rush for exactly 27 feet.)

Everyone’s forgotten about the Horned Frogs after that loss to the Cyclones. Everyone should remember them real quick, provided they get a chance to beat Oklahoma and then finish out the rest of their schedule against Texas Tech and Baylor. Let’s check the schedule ... ooh! Guess who they play this coming week?

Surprise! It’s Oklahoma.

11. Wisconsin.

Suddenly the obvious best and purest team in the Big Ten, following a 45-17 dispatching of Indiana. The Badgers still haven’t played anyone, but as if on cue: Iowa, fresh off that epochal cratering of Ohio State, comes to town. Combine that with a hypothetical win over whoever shows up in the Big Ten Championship, and the Badgers have a chance at the Playoff.

P.S. WATCH THE HELL OUT FOR IOWA. THEY’RE ON ONE.

12. Washington.

38-3 over Oregon, a team that once upon a time used to beat Washington like a rented mule. Dog. Whatever, I don’t even know if you can rent dogs. Change it back to a mule, but the point is that Washington has now fully reversed the order of power in the Pac-12 North. Last year, this defeat for Oregon seemed like a reckoning. This year, it barely raised an eyebrow, and not just because the Ducks lost their starting QB to injury last month.

Statistics still love the Huskies, even if the polls and national punditry don’t. Math isn’t a friend, no matter what your teacher in middle school told you. They were saying that to make you feel better because they were kind and because lying is free.

While we’re lying: you’re still in this, Washington! Even though you had the weirdest loss a really good team had this year, one that not even your friend Math can explain!

13. UCF.

31-24 over a very game SMU, but that’s deceptive thanks to three turnovers by the Knights. They still had an obscene 615 yards despite SMU stacking the box against UCF’s run.

TWO-LOSS TEAMS THAT EFFECTIVELY ENDED THEIR PLAYOFF RUNS BY LOSING THIS WEEKEND AND ARE NOW PLAYING FOR SPITE

Oklahoma State: Bedlam’d, still going squirrel-hunting today, because life goes on.

Penn State: Tedium only makes Michigan State stronger, and nothing is more tedious than a huge weather delay. Penn State never really had a chance, and that’s before you take Spartans QB Brian Lewerke throwing for 400 yards into account.

Ohio State: good lord what the hell was that

Virginia Tech: Not the first to wake up disoriented in Dade County after a long night.

MEMPHIS?

Got the palindrome going by beating Tulsa, 41-14, and preserving an 8-1 record. Props to Tulsa, though, for Goldie the tee-fetching dog and Goldie’s best friend, a 135-pound Newfie named Willis.

Yes, they have a social media presence.

Willis and I are ready for the pupsidedown as @gatenm123 and @milliebbrown! #utulsa #Howloween #trickortreat #HappyHalloween #StrangerThings http://pic.twitter.com/W7meN9I09l

— Tulsa Goldie (@TulsaGoldie) October 31, 2017

[nowytarg15-blog]

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[racingtoaredlight]

What else are you gonna do with your stupid life? College football watch ‘em ups for week 2 (officially) of the 2018 season

I’m all in on the rebirth of the run & shoot and don’t know if I have enough caring in me to write about every game this week. FUCK IT WE’LL DO IT LIVE!

Disclaimers about time zones and other sites and what the fuck ever go here. It doesn’t matter, we rake in like zero ad dollars from these posts.

This week is an oddity due to a lack of off-day games. Just one Friday and no others. I kind of wish every week was like this but I think this is the only one for the year.

Saturday, September 8

Matchup                                                     Time (ET)                 TV/Mobile

Arizona at Houston                                   12:00pm           ABC/ESPN2 (RM

Khalil Tate and Kevin Sumlin might just be a match made in hell. Ed Oliver has personally humiliated some great dual-threat QBs in the past but I don’t know if Tate is actually a threat through the air. Not sure what that means for the all-important stats.

Duke at Northwestern                               12:00pm                    ESPNU

Northwestern sucks. I’ll still root for them but they’re not good.

Eastern Michigan at Purdue                      12:00pm                      BTN

The nation’s leader in all-purpose yards at home against EMU? Hell yes.

Georgia Tech at USF                                   12:00pm              ABC/ESPN2 (RM)

I almost made a national champions joke but USF and UCF are actually different schools. Not by much, mind you. Based on one week against stiffs I have the impression this is a good year for the Ramblin’ Wreck.

Liberty at Army                                            12:00pm                       CBSSN

Army doesn’t even play a cool version of the option. This game is a pox.

Mississippi State at Kansas State              12:00pm                        ESPN

A bunch of guys who will play in the NFL next year are playing against each other for teams that will combine to lose 10+ games this year. This is a headache in a bag. I think I’d take KState +8 and the over of 54.5.

Nevada at Vanderbilt                                    12:00pm                        SECN

Oddly enough, I’d be totally into this one if Vandy were flying West for a 10pm kickoff. This version looks terrible, though.

New Mexico at Wisconsin                            12:00pm                         BTN

Can’t wait for Hornibrook to end up getting a Heisman invite. He’s Wisconsin’s answer to Gino Torretta.

Towson at Wake Forest                                 12:00pm                   ACCNExtra

I’ve always thought of it as “Nextra” but then I saw it written as ACCNE and now there’s no going back.

Western Michigan at Michigan                      12:00pm                        FS1

I know I’m stupid and crazy but I haven’t sold all of my Harbaugh stock just yet. I’ve heard about how he’s not a college coach and he’ll be back in the NFL next year but I can’t shake the feeling that he can still get things to click with just a little more time.

Georgia State at NC State                              12:30pm                       RSN

NC State lost a ton of talent to the pros this year and the next in line from QBU isn’t really as great as his offseason draft hype. Georgia State is absolutely going to beat the spread.

Holy Cross at Boston College                         1:00pm                     ACCNExtra

Somehow this battle for Boston reminded me of somebody explaining in excruciating detail about how BC isn’t in Boston and it just makes me hate that place and its people all over again.

UCLA at Oklahoma                                           1:00pm                        FOX

UCLA generally doesn’t do very well in early games and Oklahoma’s talent level is very obviously higher than the Bruins at every position. I don’t know what point to make here. Hopefully Rodney Anderson gets more than 5 carries this week but he might not need to.

Air Force at Florida Atlantic                             2:00pm       CBSSN / Facebook

FAU got murdered by Oklahoma last week so I’m a little bit intrigued by how Lane bounces back. Vegas really likes the Owls but I’m not really sure why.

Portland State at Oregon                                 2:00pm                    Pac-12N

This is some high quality trash. I won’t watch it due to dumb circumstances but I’d enjoy it if I could.

William & Mary at Virginia Tech                       2:00pm                ACCNExtra

The Hokies looked pretty good against FSU. I forgot all about Josh Jackson since he missed the 2017 season but I think he’s a pretty good college QB.

Kansas at Central Michigan                            3:00pm                  ESPN Plus

What can you say about Kansas football without laughing maniacally?

Arkansas State at Alabama                             3:30pm                    ESPN2

Red Wolves vs. Crimson Tide should be some sort of rivalry. Bama looks every bit as good as expected so this will probably be a bloodbath. In red.

Ball State at Notre Dame                                 3:30pm                     NBC

Notre Dame gets to walk around like a top 10 team for now but a 7-point win over Michigan at home in a game that felt like a blowout doesn’t strike me as a springboard to a CFB Playoff berth. Brian Kelly is still a shitty murderer so fuck him.

Buffalo at Temple                                              3:30pm                    ESPN3

Tyree Jackson threw 6 TDs last week while Temple was losing to Villanova. The result? Temple is favored by 5. That seems wrong. Are there really people betting their hearts in what looks like a classic degenerate’s matchup?

Colorado at Nebraska                                       3:30pm                      ABC

Big 8 rivals square off in the first game (probably!) of the Scott Frost era. Smart money is probably on Colorado.

Georgia at South Carolina                                 3:30pm                     CBS

If Coach Boom is going to make the most of his great roster he needs to spring the upset here. That doesn’t seem crazy to me so look for UGA to win by 40.

Howard at Kent State                                        3:30pm                ESPN Plus

A bunch of 1-AA teams are in the watch ‘em ups for a second time this week but Howard is closest to my heart. Love the Bison to trample the Gun Girls.

Memphis at Navy                                               3:30pm                    CBSSN

This is the only game most years where I cheer against Memphis. I don’t have a great feeling about this Navy team, though, so my advice for you who are wondering is to put the mansion on Memphis to win by more than 6 and for the over to hit some time in the third quarter.

Morgan State at Akron                                      3:30pm                  ESPN Plus

I’ll leave this one to Soused.

North Carolina at East Carolina                       3:30pm                     ESPNU

This game was in the maybe watch column on SB Nation’s grid this week and I can’t comprehend why this is anything but AVOID!!!!! even if they don’t offer that designation.

Rutgers at Ohio State                                        3:30pm                       BTN

Ohio State is out here with a boatload of talent and a scheme that mostly runs itself in games like this. I wish all bad things on the Ohio State football program but they have some really great players that I don’t hate.

Wagner at Syracuse                                           3:30pm                 ACCNExtra

Eric Dungey’s quest for a rushing title continues.

ETSU at Tennessee                                            4:00pm                      SECN

Without looking I think Tennessee is probably favored. By too much.

Lamar at Texas Tech                                          4:00pm                 FSN / FSGo

I make jokes about Lamar being just some dude every year and it’s dumb but I can’t look at Lamar and not think it’s just some dude instead of a team.

Southern Illinois at University of Mississippi    4:00pm                     SECNA

What’s up with fixing the mascot name but not the other super racist allusion in your sports programs? Progress of some sort, I guess. This is a body bag game of the lowest caliber.

Iowa State at Iowa                                              5:00pm                      FOX

Potentially cool game at college football’s most heartwarming stadium. Nothing here not to love.

North Dakota at Washington                              5:00pm                  Pac-12N

Is this the same school that Carson Wentz went to? I’m not looking it up. A lot of you were all in on Auburn trashing UDub last week but that didn’t actually happen. Washington could still win 12 straight and end up back in playoff contention, even without their star LT.

Appalachian State at Charlotte                          6:00pm                ESPN Plus

Wild to think this is 1-A on 1-A.

Maryland at Bowling Green                                 6:00pm               ESPN Plus

It was funny to see Texas lose and all but let’s all remember to hate the fuck out of Maryland’s coaches and program from here to eternity.

Savannah State at Miami (FL)                             6:00pm               ACCNExtra

There is no reason for most people to give a shit about this game but I’m interested to see if the freshman QBs are really bad or if Mark Richt is just being way too conservative with his roster by starting Malik Rosier. My gut says nobody is worse for this team than Rosier. I know Ahmmon Richards, for one, agrees with me.

SC State at UCF                                                   6:00pm                  ESPN3

Here’s the national champs. Not gonna lose the winning streak here.

UMass at Georgia Southern                                6:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Now we’re getting into some good degeneracy. There are too many other games at this same time to really dive into this shitfest but it’s real as hell to me.

Youngstown State at West Virginia                     6:00pm                    ATTSN

I was looking at games on CBS Sports and they didn’t have a channel listed for this game. ATTSN = AT&T Sports Network, guessing a DirecTV exclusive? I love Holgo even if I kinda hate the Air Raid.

Eastern Kentucky at Marshall                             6:30pm                 ESPN Plus

Here’s another great backup game. I don’t know if anybody good is on either team this year.

Baylor at UTSA                                                     7:00pm     CBSSN / Facebook

Ugh. Fucking Baylor. Go the fuck away forever, Baylor.

Clemson at Texas A&M                                        7:00pm                      ESPN

Until about 5 years ago Clemson and aTm were actually the same program. Now Clemson is a legit 5-star program and I fucking hate it. Not enough to root for the Aggies, mind you. Talent watching is pretty good in this one but the idea of Jimbo Fisher falling flat on his face in Aggieland is too good not to dream about.

Florida A&M at Troy                                              7:00pm                  ESPN Plus

Let’s go Rattlers!

Indiana State at Louisville                                   7:00pm                 ACCNExtra

Petrino might be on the verge of sunsetting unless he flukes his way into another megastar. Louisville looks like the most ACC of ACC teams right now even though they have no business being in the conference. This should be an AAC team all the way.

Southeastern La. at LSU                                     7:00pm                    ESPN2

I want to whisper to all of you that LSU really isn’t all that good but I’m typing and you’re maybe reading it instead.

Southern at LA Tech                                            7:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Louisiana Tech is one of my pet stupid programs. I always think they’re one random star recruit away from becoming the next offense lab in college football. This probably isn’t the year, though.

Texas Southern at Texas State                           7:00pm              KNVA/ESPN3

If anybody has more than a gambling interest in this one I am dying to hear about it. Seriously. Explain yourself.

UAB at Coastal Carolina                                      7:00pm                ESPN Plus

Last week I insulted UAB’s football program and they went out and won 52-0, their first shutout victory in 10 years. So let me continue my campaign for them to drop the program again.

ULM at Southern Miss                                          7:00pm                 ESPN3

I don’t think I realized until right now that CUSA is the surviving shell of the old Metro Conference. I thought the Metro just died. Anyway, CUSA football is MACtion for degenerates. Meaning that I like it. This game got a shoutout on the NFL’s season opener so maybe it will draw an audience in the hundreds.

UT Martin at Middle Tennessee                           7:00pm               ESPN Plus

The Tee Martins are back! How does it feel to play football your whole life and go to college for football and then realize that you’re playing for the team that’s being paid to lay down to Middle Tennessee State? Not even like Wake Forest or somebody like that - worse! It still sounds kind of fun but embarrassing at the same time.

Wyoming at Missouri                                             7:00pm                  ESPNU

Drew Lock has some similar physical traits to Wyoming’s QB from last year but I think he’s gotten better coaching. Similar arm talent(!!!) at least. I don’t know about the raw athleticism which, no shit, Josh Allen has tons of. Anyway, Missouri should stomp all over Wyoming.

Samford at Florida State                                       7:20pm              ACCNExtra

The Bobby Bowden Bowl! The immediate reactions to Willie Taggert at FSU were loud and angry but he needs some time to sort through the weird mess that the team devolved into last year. I don’t think he can keep running the offense he had at USF with this roster, though, and he needs to figure that out quickly.

Alabama State at Auburn                                       7:30pm                SECNA

The Littlest Iron Bowl! Auburn is another team that didn’t look great to me in week 1. And they don’t have any obvious path to the playoffs.

Arkansas at Colorado State                                  7:30pm                CBSSN

This might be the farthest an SEC team has traveled for a regular season game this century.

FIU at Old Dominion                                               7:30pm          beIN SPORTS

Keep the faith in Butch Davis. It’ll turn out pretty well in the end. I think.

Fresno State at Minnesota                                     7:30pm                   FS1

I think CSU-Fresno had the highest point total in the country in week 1 but it came against 1-AA Idaho State. Yeah, I just wanted to drop a mention to Idaho State as a (once again) 1-AA team. This game is probably trash but it has the decency to be a dumb night game that nobody will notice unless it gets wild.

Incarnate Word at North Texas                               7:30pm             ESPN Plus

This is truly bottom of the barrel stuff but UNT does have the nation’s leader in passing yards per game!

Kentucky at Florida                                                 7:30pm                  SECN

UF is really heavily favored to win their 32nd straight against Kentucky but why? The line is only 14 but odds are weighted like 88% for the Gators to win. Kentucky sucks but doesn’t Florida?

Maine at WKU                                                          7:30pm             ESPN Plus

A lot of oddball evening games this week. I like it.

Utah at NIU                                                                7:30pm             ESPNews

Northern Illinois got blown out by Iowa last week. Utah looked like hell for the first 30 minutes against Weber State. I don’t have a point. Utah will probably win by 20.

Virginia at Indiana                                                      7:30pm                BTN

UVA and IU are more similar than dissimilar historically speaking. This game makes me annoyed just knowing that it’s going to happen and that it’s on Big Ten Network. Get your shit together, Hoos.

Western Illinois at Illinois                                          7:30pm                BTN

It would be so Lovie Smith to lose this game.

Cincinnati at Miami (Ohio)                                         8:00pm   Raycom / ESPN3

I agree with what Ohio State fans were saying a few years back: Luke Fickell sucks.

New Mexico State at Utah State                              8:00pm           Facebook

Facebook? For this one? Boo hiss. This is prime gambling athletics, nobody should be tracking you as you watch this one.

Nicholls at Tulane                                                      8:00pm              ESPN3

Nicholls! The Nicholls Nickels! Tulane doesn’t get a lot of easy wins but I think we can all agree with some bit of confidence that Tulane may suck loudly but they’re still better than Kansas.

Penn State at Pitt                                                       8:00pm               ABC

I have an unhealthy and unrealistic need for Pitt to win this game.

Sacramento State at San Diego State                     8:00pm             No TV (!!!)

What in the goddamn fucking hell is SDSU doing with no TV coverage in 2018? Christ almighty. This is hilarious.

South Alabama at Oklahoma State                          8:00pm                FSN

I wish South Alabama was good enough to at least put the fear of god in Okie State but they really aren’t. Expect a typical early season massacre from the Cowboys.

Southern Utah at Oregon State                                8:00pm             Pac-12N

What the hell is this?

Tulsa at Texas                                                             8:00pm                 LHN

Tulsa only beat Central Arkansas by 11 last week but Texas lost to Maryland. 23 points might be too much to expect for the Longhorns at this juncture.

USC at Stanford                                                          8:30pm                 FOX

The Pac-12 is known for two things: bad scheduling and bad referees. Also, bad defenses so that makes three things. This is bad scheduling. Why is the most marketable game of your whole conference year happening in week 2 at 8:30pm EST? This is absolutely moronic.

UTEP at UNLV                                                              9:00pm               ATTSN

Ever since it popped into my head last year or the year before I just can’t get over UNLV being confederate-themed. What the hell is that?

California at BYU                                                        10:15pm              ESPN2

This is actually beautiful scheduling which makes me think BYU came up with it themselves. Great uniform matchup even if both teams stink.

UConn at Boise State                                               10:15pm    ESPN2/ESPNU

Haha, UConn. What are you doing? How did this program actually make it to major bowl game in the last 10 years? They’re 31-point underdogs playing past their bedtimes against an OK-at-best Boise State team. This somehow feels earned.

Michigan State at Arizona State                               10:45pm               ESPN

Really not sure how Sparty agreed to this one but if I have one strong conviction from week 1 it’s that Herm Edwards should have stayed a TV talking head and left the coaching game to everybody else.

San Jose State at Washington State                         11:00pm           Pac-12N

Very fine watchin’ ‘em up here. You have to catch them all.

Rice at Hawai’i                                                              11:59pm          Spectrum

Spectrum is a station? Spectrum is a cable company. Anyway, Rice played Ed Oliver last week and now they have to face early RTARLsman frontrunner Cole McDonald. I’m cautiously bandwagoning for Hawai’i.