#they are sphinxes just bears instead of big cats

[keydekyie]

Warning: Professional, do not attempt.

[alch3mic]

I have an ask that I'm not sure if you have answered before, but thought I'd toss in in case you might find it interesting

;w;

If, say.... Some sort of magical alteration were to occur (maybe some human mages got too ambitious and their accident altered things within the blast zone, magic-based citizens being most obviously affected?) And the boys were to become more like mythical creatures (or even just primal?), what would each one be?

For examples, was thinking things like lamias, harpies, spider-hybrids, or anything else you could think of

^~^;;;

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit hard to understand in there- I tried to keep it as straightforward as possible

huntsman - a little on the nose but i do think a werewolf would suit him really well. a cute, unassuming skeleton who turns into a gaster blaster like creature, probably able to transform at will to protect his precious little red.

beast - given his beastly nature i’d imagine he’d become something along the lines of a manticore or chimera, with large wings, a tail like a scorpion, larger features and haunched legs like a lion. heck it throw in some horns for fun. who knew this big guy could get more cuddly.

prince - a mighty prince is now cursed as a dragon. too afraid of the skies to ever fly so instead he hides away in his castle. perhaps true love may break this spell? probably not but hey now you have a cute skeleton dragon boyfriend to love!

captain - a siren seems just right for captain, luring unsuspecting souls into the depths of the sea with a quiet midnight song and drowning them. he certainly seems to sing a special tune just for you though every day when you come to visit.

cheshire - given that this cat loves to talk in riddles he’d probably be something along the lines of a sphinx. he’d sure love messing with people even more, especially you. just look at your cute little confused face as you try to decipher a new riddle! you’re too cute.

papa bear - i’m unsure if they have a proper name but i have seen some mythological bears in the past that grew branches or antlers from their head. certainly seems fitting for a skeleton who spends so much time in his den or in the forest. a fierce but gentle protector.

[travelingthemultiverse]

I realized I forgot to share these so uh

Because I’m just like this I decided to do hlvrai but they’re all anthro animals.

Gordon is a rabbit but like, one of the big and very very fluffy ones. The origin for this idea was I could make the ears Gordon’s ponytail.

Benrey is a hairless Sphinx cat. Clearly different than the other guards (which I think would all be like, a variety of shorthair cats) but technically not unnatural

Tommy is a golden retriever, obviously. Sunkist is Sunkist, a normal golden retriever, but instead of being Tommy’s dog she’s Tommy’s little sister/brother/sibling and nobody (but Gordon) questions it. Tommy also frequently switches the gendered terms and pronouns because Sunkist is perfect and is above gender

Bubby is what I call a pseudo-dragon, basically a combination of reptiles with pyrokenisis (the only member of the science team there isn’t art for yet I might just make it chameleon for simplicity)

Dr Coomer is a mantis shrimp. Remember my post about Ali going a mantis shrimp anthropomorphic ? Yeah. That was for dr coomer. In my research for my attempt to draw this I learned there’s like, 450 variations of mantis shrimp so the coomer clones are all different variations of mantis shrimp

Frozen is a polar bear. It felt right

Darnold is a meerkat. It makes sense if you think about it

Gman is.... well gman is kinda undecided but my current favorites are German Shepherd, Doberman, and (this was sigh on a server and sounded super cool) also a golden retriever but like, melanistic (maybe also with his fur shaved down so he looks more serious because it’s a bit hard to be serious with all that floof)

[queer-star]

💡 give me some facts about any of them!

U already asked me the same question on my main so this time instead of doing main chars I'm gonna do med cats edition starting with my Main Bitch™

💡Random fact about them:

Foxspirit: Used to be a very anxious tiny baby with love for healing, has evolved into a sleep deprived lovable grump who actually cares for everyone and is def the only cat with a brain in this god forsaken valley. He's very devoted and although still somewhat anxious he pushes through it to do what is right. He actually ended up fulfilling a prophecy instead of the propheced cat because he just couldn't sit on his ass and let fate take course, instead deciding to do this shit himself.

Echosong: She's Foxspirit's mentor and just a big fluffy lovable grandma. Also she's a munchkin so she's just...really fucking tiny.

Oddpaw/belly: He's Foxspirit's apprentice and left his home Clan because of his abusive mum and the fact that Foxspirit was super kind to him and protected the lil kit. He actually didn't have a name for months and was apprenticed very late! He was a very sickly kitten so his bitch of a mum refused to name him or even take care of him, Storm Clan was lacking a med cat so Foxpaw and Echosong came there occasionally to help and Foxpaw helped to deliver the kittens and had to witness Ambergaze being a horrible mum. After she tried to give him some rude ass name Foxpaw chased her off and named the kitten himself, Oddkit after his odd eyes. After this Oddkit decided he wanted to be Foxpaw's future apprentice! He also got the suffix belly bc he's just...really round and soft. Another funfact, he is Thornstar's grandson so he is also related to Foxspirit.

Snowwhisker: Big fluff man, but slowly getting old. Treats Foxspirit somewhat like his grandson since he used to train his mum back in the day.

Mossclaw: She's a sphinx and used to be a rogue. How did a sphinx survive in cold mountains? I don't fucking know tbh. Anyways she's one of the main bads and would totally murder Foxspirit if given the chance.

Cheetahfur: Def the smartest med cat in the valley, she's also the mum friend of the group and the voice of reason. She's like Foxspirit's second mum tbh....or rather third mum. Fourth mum? He's got a lot of parents.

Rabbithop: Foxspirit's friend and Cheetahfur's apprentice, they're just a big lovable ball of baby. Born anxious sweetheart and will die anxious sweetheart, Foxspirit would literally die for them.

Curlywhisker: Ran away shortly after Foxpaw was apprenticed to raise her kittens away from her abusive ex. She's a single badass mama who would supple a bear for her babies.

Tigerpounce: A big, scary, muscular dude. Literally the least cat you'd expect to be a medicine cat, but despite his terryfing apperence he's a very gentle healer. Also a cat of very few words.

Eaglepaw and Hawkpaw: I'm putting them together because their funfact is the same. They're conjoined twins! They're connected by the hip so walking is a bit tricky but they manage. They look like mirror reflections of each other, their parents and mentor Tigerpounce are probably the only cats in their clan that can tell them apart they're so identical.

[nataliesewell]

monster prom pop quiz results

I was bored, so I decided to try and record all the questions and answers in Monster Prom’s Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever(tm). It’s really likely I haven’t found them all, so I’ll come back and add to this from time to time.

The pop quiz consists of three questions; the first two go towards determining your highest stats at the beginning of the game, while the third chooses your possible prom date (this isn’t set in stone; you can still try to pursue a different character in the actual game). The order of the questions is randomized.

Other links: Vera Walkthrough

You can find the questions and their results under the cut!

stat questions

What is your spirit emoji?

a. Caucasian guy with a turban because fuck stereotypes. +CREATIVITY

b. Octopus emoji. Best animal on Earth. I know 5 mixed drinks, 3 drug cocktails, and 17 sex positions that involve one or several octupi. +FUN

c. Snowman, because that motherfucker is in the middle of a blizzard and he’s fuckin’ smiling. He doesn’t give a fuck about blizzards. And he has a kickass hat. +BOLD

It’s your chance to fix global warming. Go ahead!

a. Global warming isn’t real. I invented it, and now science is claiming authorship because science is a lame copycat with no original ideas. +CREATIVITY

b. Nah, the world is doomed. But I’ll start investing in ships and start a profitable business for the “soon to be covered by water” world. +WEALTH

c. It’s time to be a real hero: I’ll lead a mission to the sun in order to... invite the sun to the party of its life! We’ll have so many hilarious misadventures that the sun will eventually become... cooler. ;) +FUN

Be a visionary: what will the next big social media craze be?

a. Bull$hit: it’s Facebook, but each time someone shares news that isn’t supported by real facts, they’re taxed, and the money goes to the people exposed to that bullshit. +WEALTH

b. Greek Agoras: like literal Greek agoras re-instated in our cities. Places where philosophy and arts are discussed by the greater minds. That’s the social media I want to log into! +SMARTS

c. Rbert: from now on, a socially awkward guy named Robert will do everything he’s commanded to do through the app by its users! +CHARM

You wish you were raised by...

a. A mysterious old man who saved me from the streets in order to raise me as his disciple in the ancient ways of rad DJing! +FUN

b. A pack of wild wolves... who also happens to be tech moguls who own some of the most profitable companies of Silicon Valley. They would be kick-ass role models AND wild wolves! Sick! +WEALTH

c. A really progressive marriage between a kick-ass venomous snake and... actual fire. I love fire and I see no issue with being raised by it. +BOLD

You build a 100ft statue commemorating an event so that in 1000 years archaeologists can learn something about the people of our time. What does the statue represent?

a. That glorious instant when your friend stopped you from texting embarrassing stuff to your ex while hella drunk. +FUN

b. That mind-blowing twist in your favourite TV show that clearly changed the life of everyone forever, unlike all that boring stuff they show on the news. +CREATIVITY

c. Your least favourite political figure... being devoured by rabid rhinoceri... which are also covered in badass tattoos. +BOLD

Which is the coolest mythological creature?

a. The invisible hand of the free market. +WEALTH

b. A sphinx... who’s super turnt up and ready to party! And she raps all her riddles (she still kills you if you don’t answer them correctly... but she raps the riddles)! +FUN

c. This weird creature I drew when I was six and which is clearly super derivative from other mythological creatures... but it’s super cool and it’s my OC and my spirit animal, okay? +CREATIVITY

You’re elected president for a day. What’s the first law you pass?

a. You can deduct taxes by writing sonnets instead. Amount of taxes deducted are calculated based on the beauty of the sonnets. +CREATIVITY

b. Trivia fact: presidents don’t pass laws... so is this a trick question or are you just being an idiot? +SMARTS

c. One dollar bills will now include a picture of me and the inscription “Beware: Too Much Awesomeness.” My presidency might last a day, but my fame will last forever! +CHARM

A radioactive possum just bit you... what superpowers did you get?

a. The superpower of always choosing the right combination of emojis to get the desired reaction from all people: seducing my loved ones, burning my enemies, settling an argument, and even conveying complex emotional thoughts. +CHARM

b. Uh, probably rabies? I’d go to a hospital immediately. +SMARTS

c. The incredible power of writing fanfiction so compelling that the actual creators of the TV shows decide to go with my ideas and crazy ships. +CREATIVITY

School is outdated and lame. We need a new school subject asap!

a. Critical thought. I mean... damn, this country could really use a subject like that in schools. +SMARTS

b. Turning people into your puppets through emotional warfare and deception 101. +CHARM

c. How to correctly punch a crocodile without terrible consequences. +BOLD

If you had to have sex with animal... which animal would it be?

(You don’t get six answers; the three answers you get are randomized.)

a. A great white shark. I have to fuck an animal, let’s at least make it a story worth telling! +CHARM

b. A swan. They’re classy. Plus it reminds me of that myth of Leda and the Swan, so at least by bestiality standards it has a certain chic appeal. +CREATIVITY

c. A human being, because I’m the kind of douchebag who loves to find loopholes in stupid questions like this one. +SMARTS

d. A purebred horse. At least I can keep his semen and sell it. It’s worth a lot! Who said there was no silver lining to bestiality? +WEALTH

e. A dolphin. They’re the only other animal that fucks just for pleasure, so at least we can both do our best to have a good time, right? +FUN

f. No on can make me fuck an animal. If I fucked an animal, it’d be of my own free will. As a matter of fact, I already have fucked an animal, so the joke’s on you, pal. +BOLD

The coolest reality show would be...

a. Twelve experts on the various arts of seduction live in a house where they must face a common challenge: seducing a potato into marriage... somehow. +CHARM

b. Eight rich people fight in weekly challenges to see who’s the best at giving money to you. +WEALTH

c. People in various positions of power must face all sorts of questions relevant to their field, and if they fail, they lose their jobs... and society wins. +SMARTS

You get the chance to produce a movie. It’s based on...

a. The most influential Russian novelists of the XIX century... have gone nuts! They don’t remember anything about last night and now they can’t find the manuscript of The Brothers Karamazov; and Dostoyevsky has to deliver it TODAY! +FUN

b. Two cool guys walking away from rad explosions. And they don’t look at the explosions. THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE EXPLOSIONS! They reflect on life and love... AND IT IS SUPER DOPE AND KICK-ASS BECAUSE THEY DO SO WALKING AWAY FROM NEVER-ENDING EXPLOSIONS! +BOLD

c. Something about superheroes, but with a love triangle between a beauty yet somehow relatable girl (maybe she’s always stating she’s a mess?) and two of the super hot superheroes, which are also like vampires or pirates or both. Instant hit! +WEALTH

Democracy is just broken. What would be the best way of choosing the leaders of modern society?

a. Whoever can play the most heartbreaking violin solo wins. +CREATIVITY

b. You put all the candidates in an empty room... with a wild grizzly bear. Whoever kills the bear should be our president. If everyone dies, then it’s obvious: the bear should be our president. +BOLD

c. We create a reality show called “America’s Next Top President” where the candidates compete in all kinds of physical and mental challenges. Voter turnout would increase and we would turn a profit on it! +FUN

If you could put a curse on your worst enemy, what would it do?

a. I’d curse them to fall in love with a wonderful person and be happily married before they realize that all this time... their partner was a wild panther in disguise! Then the panther viciously devours my enemy. Classic! +BOLD

b. The curse of always meeting obnoxious people at parties who are super into new fad diets that feel the need to explain them in detail. +CHARM

c. You can’t rely on the effectiveness of a curse. I prefer to take care of my enemies the old-fashioned way: by exposing them to unsafe doses of radiation over the course of several years. +SMARTS

What would be the coolest prize you could find in your box of cereal?

a. A tiny piece of sharp metal, so every scoop will be full of thrill and danger! +BOLD

b. The phone number of the sexy tiger on the front of the box. He’s so passionate about breakfast and health that he’s surely also a grrreat lover. +CHARM

c. A sample of a more nutritious breakfast option, so people are encouraged to stop eating that colorful crap. +SMARTS

What inanimate object do you think would make the best girlfriend or boyfriend, provided you went criminally insane?

a. A human-size pillow depicting a character created by myself. As a matter of fact, I have all the needed paperwork and I’m only waiting for the conservative narrow-minded laws of our country to finally step forward into waifu and husbando territory, as was clearly intended by God. +CREATIVITY

b. A dildo, duh. +FUN

c. An ATM. Sugar baby life, here I come! +WEALTH

Which god do you pray to each night before sleeping?

a. Praying is kind of lame. I have a group text set up with some deities: Dionysus, Bastet, Loki... coolest cats in town. +CHARM

b. Praying is for fools. I took some compromising pics of a god molesting a tree, and now I blackmail him for whatever I want. A lot more effective. +SMARTS

c. Oh, I pray to all kinds of gods. I have this business where people pay me to deliver their prayers every night. I’ve even started to look for a Chinese factory to outsource the prayers. +WEALTH

prom date questions

What is the sexiest type of knowledge a lover can have?

a. How to set stuff on fire. ❤️DAMIEN

b. All the principles to build a financial empire. ❤️VERA

c. Lyrics to all Disney songs. ❤️MIRANDA

d. Obscure 80s movie trivia. ❤️LIAM

e. Sports things. ❤️SCOTT

f. How to make a killer cocktail out of anything. ❤️POLLY

Your partner just gave you a cool gift for your anniversary but you totally forgot! Quick, come up with an idea for a great gift!

a. The head of their fiercest enemy. ❤️VERA

b. A silly toy that makes silly noises. ❤️SCOTT

c. The abstract concept of gratefulness. ❤️LIAM

d. A pony. Always a pony. ❤️MIRANDA

e. Anything on fire. Or a weapon. No, no: a weapon on fire. ❤️DAMIEN

f. Anything capable of leading them to an overdose of some sorts. ❤️POLLY

What would be a deal-breaker for a potential lover?

a. The person lacks taste. ❤️LIAM

b. The person is mediocre. ❤️VERA

c. The person is a coward. ❤️DAMIEN

d. The person is boring. ❤️POLLY

e. The person hates the outdoors. ❤️SCOTT 

f. The person lacks manners. ❤️MIRANDA

What would be a killer accessory?

a. Sunglasses... at night. ❤️POLLY

b. A fabulous purse made from the skin of your worst enemy. ❤️VERA

c. Coolness itself. ❤️LIAM

d. Fancy brass knuckles. ❤️DAMIEN

e. A necklace with your own name... in case you forget! ❤️SCOTT

f. Shiny armor. ❤️MIRANDA

The world will end tomorrow... What will you do today?

a. Nobody ends the world but me! I’ll end the world today. ❤️DAMIEN

b. It’s okay! We invented the apocalypse to take care of the overpopulation of commoners. ❤️MIRANDA

c. I’ll finish my novel... whoever comes after the end should know my legacy! ❤️LIAM

d. 100 push-ups... no, no 200 push-ups! ❤️SCOTT

e. They always tell you the world is ending... I’ll profit on other people’s hysteria. ❤️VERA

f. I always party as if there were no tomorrow... so who cares? ❤️POLLY

Which criteria would you use to name your children?

a. Meh... no name? It’s just too much work! ❤️POLLY

b. I will research for a name that is pun-proof and joke-proof. No one will pick on them. ❤️VERA

c. A non-heteronormative name to give them freedom to define themselves on their own terms. ❤️LIAM

d. Just a swear word. ❤️DAMIEN

e. My name + “II” (the Second). ❤️MIRANDA

f. Something simple and friendly, like Bobby or Mary. ❤️SCOTT

If you were an ice cream... which flavour would you be?

a. Double creme de la Gruyere and meringues. ❤️LIAM

b. Spicy chocolate. No... chocolate on FIRE! ❤️DAMIEN

c. Success. ❤️VERA

d. Tequila and coke. ;) ❤️POLLY

e. Rainbows and gummy bears. ❤️MIRANDA

f. Meat! ❤️SCOTT

What would be your dream first date?

a. An art exhibition experimental enough to give you a seizure. ❤️LIAM

b. A sweaty and manly wrestling match. ❤️SCOTT

c. A professional meeting where you charm your date with some astonishing business advice! ❤️VERA

d. A wild party in international waters. ❤️POLLY

e. A lovely walk in the forest... after rescuing your date from a dragon! ❤️MIRANDA

f. Crimes. ❤️DAMIEN

You find a genie in a bottle. You can ask for whatever you want. What do you ask for?

a. A rainbow that you can eat! ❤️MIRANDA

b. I don’t ask for anything. I drink the genie from the bottle. I can grant my own wishes! ❤️DAMIEN

c. Before asking for anything, you try to negotiate up to the three standard wishes. ❤️VERA

d. Infinite confetti! ❤️POLLY

e. ...His friendship! ❤️SCOTT

f. Him to not be so cliched. Genies and wishes... so mainstream! ❤️LIAM

What would be the most appealing in a love partner?

a. A big... horn. ❤️DAMIEN

b. Sharp wits. ❤️LIAM

c. Kawaii eyes. ❤️MIRANDA

d. A very tsundere personality. ❤️VERA

e. Soft fur. ❤️SCOTT

f. A taste for party. ❤️POLLY

[thehobbem]

Chases, escapes, true love & miracles Part III

“I don't like this.”

Phichit pretended not to hear, trying instead to focus on the map in front of him, despite the sickening sway of the boat. If he ignored the protests, they would go away, taking the ones in his head along with it. Right? Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

But like any other problem, the protests refused to disappear, in an excellent demonstration of just why they were problems.

“What's gonna happen when we leave him there?” asked Otabek. He looked as impassive as always, and anyone would've had an easier time trying to decipher what a Sphinx was thinking than trying to read him.

“That is not our problem,” Phichit replied, and he could almost believe he'd sounded as nonchalant as he'd planned to. ‘Almost’ being another key word he would like to to ignore.

“Beka, let it go,” said Yuri from his corner on the deck as he sharpened his dagger again, and Phichit winced. Blades. So uncivilized. Yuri continued, over the unpleasant sound of blade scraping stone. “What matters is the money.”

Phichit latched on to that. “See? Yuri gets it. You’re not thinking of the big picture, Beka. Think of the rest of the payment!”

With that payment, Yuri could go on his quest throughout the Great Six Territories, Phichit could start his own troupe, Otabek would finally be able to go back home, and all of them would still have a little leftover for a rainy day. That was some serious money.

As if reading his mind, Otabek shrugged. “It just seems like a lot of money for such a simple task.”

“They’re also buying our silence, mind you,” Phichit pointed out.

“Are they, though?” said a fourth voice, and the three of them turned around in tandem. Their hostage was awake, and placidly watched their conversation with what looked like only mild interest. The fact he was tied to the main mast didn’t seem to faze him.

“You don’t really think they’re buying your silence, do you?” he continued, unperturbed by Otabek’s wary look or Yuri’s scowl. “You’ve just kidnapped a prince, and that’s punishable by death. The money is not your reward. It’s bait,” he finished in a pleasant tone of voice, as if he was the one in charge, with Phichit and the others at his mercy.

Well, the last thing Phichit could do was look perplexed, no matter how much he actually was. He put his hands on hips and raised an eyebrow. “You don’t say. Bait for what, if I may ask, Mr. Prince?”

“For us,” said Otabek quietly, right behind him. “To convince us to do the job.”

“You’re not seriously—”

“And once the job is done,” the prince went on, unmistakingly cheerful now, “you three are a risk. Who’s to say you’re not gonna name names when people come asking? I am sorry, but you were extremely naive, I’m afraid.”

Yuri looked dangerously close to having a stroke, but Otabek looked unsurprised by the prince’s words. And Phichit, regardless of how much he’d wanted that money, couldn’t deny all the times the same thought had crossed his mind: that once the prince was delivered, the three of them would instantly become disposable, and a liability while alive.

“This is ridiculous,” huffed Yuri, getting up from his corner. “If anyone comes after us, we run; if they catch up, we fight, what’s so hard about that? Why are we even listening to this guy?!”

“You know, the boy is right,” said the prince, and everyone ignored Yuri’s splutter at the word ‘boy’. “There’s no reason whatsoever for you to be listening to me. So if you’ll just untie me, I’ll be on my way, thank you very much.”

Phichit’s eyes went wide, and Yuri’s silence was… scary. But to his surprise, Otabek snorted.

“I like him,” he said with a tiny smile, in response to Phichit’s horrified look.

“You listen here,” said Yuri, crouching down and pointing his dagger dangerously close to the prince’s jugular. “You keep joking around and I’ll make sure you don’t have a tongue to help you with that anymore, understood?”

The prince seemed genuinely surprised. “I assure you that was a serious proposition! Makka’s waiting for me.”

“Who the hell is Makka?!”

“My dog! No one’s gonna take care of her when I’m gone!”

Yuri blinked, and with an eye roll and not another word, he stood up and went below deck. Coincidentally, that was where his cat Potya waited for him, and Phichit could well sympathize: he felt like checking on his hamsters now, too. The thought of leaving them behind all on their own was too heartbreaking to even bear thinking about.

Still. A job was a job.

“Sorry about your dog,” he said, and he meant it. They really should’ve brought her along, now that he thought about her whining as they took the prince away. They could’ve… figured it out. Somehow. “But it’s still a no.”

A tug on his sleeve. “Phichit, look at that,” said Otabek, pointing at something behind them.

On the horizon, an enormous black ship flying a red Jolly Roger seemed to be going the same way they were.

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<<From the beginning

[bravehyde]

So one of my mentors in Seminary said she had a friend who actually has DID (she brought this up because I started talking about who Moon Knight was). Apparently, her DID friend has 8 alters and two of them aren’t even human they’re some kind of half dragon half human creature from a video game (I can’t remember the name) and I was like, what!? I knew that alters could be animals but like, imaginary creatures?!

Anyway it got me thinking, if Marc had an alter that was some mythological creature what would it be? I finally decided on a Hieracosphinx (lion body, falcon head, wings). Mainly because a Sphinx is Egyptian but the falcon head instead of a human or ramb head because Khonshu has a falcon head.

The Sphinx’s name is Hyrum and he is another gift from Khonshu (like Mister Knight). Like Moon Knight can actually transform into a Sphinx. He looks beautiful and fierce, but he is actually baby. Very sweet, rubs against people like a cat, purrs, very protective of Marc/Steven/Jake/mister Knight and will sit on them like a mother hen. Very scarred, memories of being abused, scares easily, doesn’t like big crowds, but will go beserk/mama bear if the boys are threatened.

I’m sorry, this so random, but you’re the only person I feel like really gets Moon Knight, and appreciates his character.

I love this so much, he should absolutely have a sphinx. One of the things that I also like about him is his connection to Judaism, and even though I’m not Jewish, I constantly hunger the Judeo-Christian parallels in literature. I’m mainly saying this because if it wasn’t a sphinx, I think it would be an angel. Not just like a person with wings, those terrifying fuckers that always had to warn humans not to be afraid when they appeared. I really like just going off on random mythologies so if you don’t mind me rambling here are some fucked up little creatures known as angels that deserve to be scary bitches and not just a twink with wings. Also yeah I want to write more where Marc has the cat, because he has Rand’s cat now he’s not going to just get rid of it, but I don’t know where to put that. He’s definitely a cat/sphinx person in my mind, even though Jake prefers dogs and pretends to hate when dear Miss Maloney snuggles up to him.

Cherubim: four heads (lion, ox, eagle, and human). Could definitely be representative of how he sees his alternative selves (Marc is human, Knight is a lion, Jake is an ox, Steven is an eagle). They have four wings (that’s just cool) and cloven copper hooves instead of feet (often used in devil imagery). They use one set of wings to cover their body (or their purity) and one for flight (because how scary is that thing if it flies).

Seraphim: six wings, two to cover the hands, two for feet, two for flying. Second highest in angel rank (almost like being the…right hand?) and just weird looking little freaks.

Ophanim: interlocking wheels (like wheels from a cart) with a hundred eyes on their spokes. Oh yeah, they also fly. They seem to be the highest ranking according to Ezekiel so thanks dude for making just the weirdest description to anything ever.

[mdwatchestv]

American Gods 1x03: Eye See You

There have only been three episodes of American Gods so far and yet I feel like I have experienced hundred of hours of storytelling from this show. That is 100% meant as a compliment for a show that has managed to take a massive magical universe and make it feel immediately accessible. This is due in large part to the number of vignette scenes, the "Coming to Americas" or "Somewhere in Americas" that are my personal favorite part of each episode. Honestly I could watch an entire series of these almost standalone scenes stitched together, one after the other, until the sky bear consumes the Earth. Very rarely do drama television shows have scenes that could stand on their own two feet outside the greater context of the series. American Gods boasts many of these scenes, even many of the scenes in the "primary" storyline with Shadow feel as if they could be appreciated independently. The strength of this storytelling means that what could easily be a daunting magical universe, is made easily digestible. But enough of that, let's talk about the collection of scenes that made up this week.

Instead of our usual Coming to America we instead had two Somewhere in America's. The first depicted a woman's accidental death and her journey into the underworld under the guidance of Egyptian god of death Anubis (Chris Obi). Anubis leads Mrs. Fadil into an afterworld limbo area where he weighs the deeds of her life against the weight of a feather. Even though this depiction of death is a somewhat peaceful one (especially compared to the other deaths witnessed so far) there is still an ominous element as Mrs. Fadil's sphinx cat unceremoniously pushes her spirit through a doorway into an eternal mystery plane. But that's cats for you. Students of Egyptian mythology or this book will know that cats are considered the children of the goddess Bast, and that in the context of this story...well let's just say sexy cat goddess is very on brand for me.

The other Somewhere in America was the big ticket item this week. Hyped as having what would be a seminal gay love scene, and also more on screen erections, the pressure was on to adapt this famously graphic scene from the original novel. If there is another thing I am loving about this show, it's that Fuller and Green are GOING FOR IT. If any element of American Gods fails, it will not be because anything was done halfway. In the case of Salim and the Jinn, the going for it is not just in the sense of explicitness or nudity, the story also "goes for it" in terms of emotional vulnerability and connection. Although LGBT sex scenes are more prevalent on television than  they once were, they are still few and far between especially in portrayal of intimacy. As a result this scene's coupling of graphic depiction and heart wrenching romance was probably something most casual TV viewers had never seen before (I know I haven't and I am a semi-professional TV viewer). 

What's more, showing such a scene between two Middle Eastern men is essentially a political act, and Fuller has made crystal clear that was his intent.  This was also an example of the writer's taking a scene for the novel and successfully expanding it (in the book Salim just gives the Jinn a fiery blowie) which is a very positive sign for the future of the show. Also would like to recognize Omid Abtahi (Salim) and Mousa Kraish (Jinn)  for their outstanding performances, and commitment to physical and emotional vulnerability. "But isn't that their job as actors? To do what is required to tell a story?" you ask. Valid, but you'd be surprised. Or maybe you wouldn't.

                                                         Eye

In some ways it is difficult not to compare this show to The Handmaid's Tale which is currently on Hulu. Both shows are airing at the same time, both cover topics of religion specifically in America, and both are aiming to expand upon their original source material. While there is a lot I love about Hulu's Handmaid's Tale (namely the spectacular performances), the past episode left me fearful that in an effort to appeal to a TV audience that expects the sensational, the series is starting to miss the meaning and intention of the original story (personally I think Hulu made a huge mistake not hiring a female show runner and it's starting to show. But this is another blog topic or you are welcome to @ me about it). American Gods on the other hand has been able to take the theme and tone of the book and expound upon it in ways that not only enhance the books original message, but also modernize it for a new generation (the book was originally published in 2001).  Right now my money is on Gods to be able to produce continued successful storytelling in their world.

Phew, all of that writing without getting to Shadow and Mr. Wednesday's main story! A brief shoutout to Ricky Whittle whose performance of Shadow is getting stronger by the episode. Even as the caliber of co-star he has to contend with continues to sky rocket, Whittle is able to not only hold his ground, but also able to effuse just as much charm and charisma as the best of em. Yeah, I'm talking about the marshmallows line, it was adorable and we all know it. Anyway Shadow meets the third Zorya sister, Zorya P, who rounds out the crone, mother, maiden trio as well, the maiden. Zorya P likes standing around on roofs at night in nightgowns like a Victorian ghost, and I really appreciate that aesthetic. After admonishing Shadow for losing the golden "sun" coin he won from Mad Sweeney, she plucks the moon from the sky and gives it to Shadow as a new lucky coin. Flush with moon coin granted confidence, Shadow challenges Czernobog to one last game of checkers in order to grant a stay of execution. And he wins! Yay!

                                                      See

Mr Wednesday and Shadow then use a classic con to rob a bank, as one does, and Mr Wednesday entreats Shadow to think snow into existence. Which  he does, or doesn't, or believes he does, or can't believe, and then is left to grapple with the disparity. But by belief, will, magic or all of the above, snow it does. 

The pair also have a brief run in with Mad Sweeney who's luck has taken a turn for the worst. I'm not sure what sort of accent Pablo Schreiber is going for, but I am entertained by whatever it is, so I'm going to allow it. Mad Sweeney's misfortune though is a blessing for us all  as it leads to getting to see a shotgun wielding Beth Grant, and Scott Thompson in a cameo that would make Hannibal himself crack a smile. Despite the chaos and bloodshed, Mad is able to make his way to Laura Moon's grave where Shadow left tossed his lucky gold coin. However upon arriving it appears as if the coin has burned right through the coffin lid...into an empty coffin! See I told you that coin flip was important for plot reasons.  

                                                   You

Next week we finally get into the story of Laura Moon, the woman who set this whole plot in motion. Don’t know about you, but I am looking forward to more of the brazen fearlessness the show has presented thus far in it's search for the heart of America (aka "the only country that doesn't know what it is").

XO MD