#they are so fucked up it's kind of worrying

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hey no hold on you don't have to be nice to men who are already actively being mean to you or something. Just don't be a fucking TERF who thinks men are born inherently evil and incapable of change. I thought the point was "if all I can be is a monster then I may as well accept it" not "oh no girls snap at me when I tell them they shouldn't have rights"??

The guy escaped the pipeline but the point of the post isn't about guys who are IN IT it's about boys who aren't. Who are 12, 15, not assholes yet. It's about stopping them from BECOMING alt right, not how to handle people who are already.

Like if you are told that identifying as man or being born in a male body (or both, a lot of people say both) makes you evil in itself. That you are discriminatory by default. You might decide there's no point in being kind because you'll always fail. I know you know men are individuals but just because you know that doesn't mean everyone does. TERFs certainly don't, and radical feminism is popping off at the same time all this other shit is happening. Their whole THING is that men are violent rapists from birth who can never be changed, and doing damage control rather than working for actual equality. There are people who genuinely believe that cis men, and trans men and trans women as well, are all dangerous and need to be locked out of everyone else's spaces.

"but TERFs aren't leftist" firstly they claim to be, but secondly...lots of queer people a d self-described leftists have been parroting their talking points without even realizing it. "I wish I lived in a world with no men lol, men DNI, kill all men hehe" reblogging posts from literal TERFs and not realizing it because they didn't say anything bad about trans people specifically, and because they go "don't worry trans men, you are also included in my DNI and posts about wanting you dead. Also trans women aren't men so I don't want you dead and you can reblog"

"sorry I'll delete that post now I didn't realize the "we should invent a disease that wipes out men" post was made by a TERF whoopsies"

If you already understand that men aren't evil by some god given nature design then the post.... isn't ABOUT you???? Yes there's plenty of people who know better than that but there are also plenty of people who don't. It depends on who you're seeing in your algorithm, or on Tumblr who you're following. Just don't let posts like that spread, so we can hopefully keep them from reaching too many people

You can still tell people who are actively discriminatory to fuck off. And you SHOULD. Sexists and rapists don't deserve to be coddled. But a pipeline starts slowly, creeps up over months or years as you listen to more and more voices of hate. This just helps people from starting that path- because a lot of them would hate the very person they are now in the beginning. It started slow

Edit: for emphasis or in summary i guess, If you already know men aren't born evil then the only thing you have to worry about is shutting down TERFs and people who parrot them. If you think the parroting is done with well intentions then you can always explain why gender essentialism itself is harmful and anti-femenist besides. Stop the rise of that and it can help

"as a guy who escaped the alt-right pipeline, [*blames it on Misandry*]"

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 7/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: AWIUSBSWDN I LOVE your art especially your LMK comic! Wanted to ask if you've seen that one fan art on twitter from @/Jay_chaos_art on twitter (or X) That is the part where little MK is holding Macaque's finger AAAA that scene is too cute! Also poor MK :']

Awww I saw that! It's sooooo good!!! For anyone wanting to see it, check it out HERE!

Anonimo ha chiesto: ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ᴀᴜ ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇsᴜɴ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ? ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɪᴛ's ᴀ sᴏɴɢ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜᴛᴜʙᴇ.ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ!

Aw thanks for the song rec!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If I remember correctly macaque can hear people thoughts so I just imagine mk having thoughts about ✨courtnapping✨ and macaque just hears it

Macaque is just

Anonimo ha chiesto Mei if she knew what was going on inside MK’s head. Mei: it’s called being a “Furry” MK it’s the biggest plus to have in a world filled with anthropomorphic animal Yaoguai. That and the awesome magic stuffs.

me too Mei, the fuck

Anonimo ha chiesto: Soo that time when shadowpeach were at pigzi's and saw tang with the "bite mark"🌝 Did they realise what was goinn on?? Will they like ask mk or smt about it? *I can imagine the shock on their faces*

They don't know if either to be shocked or not since they called it

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I love and hunger for Spicynoodles! 🍜🔥 What if during demon courting season, Pif decides that even though her son is strong she doesn't want to risk her son to end up court napped by some demon stranger that he doesn't even like. She wants him to be happy. So, she goes to MK and tells him about Red Son's feeling for him and convinces him to courtnap Red Son.

asjcajcb can't answer yet bc of spoilers!!

@stardynamite ha chiesto: I was desperately searching for another good fandom fanfic to latch onto here because I can’t draw fanart at the moment and you have saved me for my eternal searching with your lmk au, thank you sire🫡 I am forever indebted to you for thouesth servicesth

Aw thank youu!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: What would a demon do with the other person after they courtnapped them? Like is it just a forced date?

Nah I mean, If they refuse the courtnapping the captors has to release them otherwise they would just look like an asshole. If they agree then it's more of a surprise date.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Other demons who have tried to cournap wukong seeing Macaque do it with ease: HOW THE FUCK DID HE NOT DIE

He has the advantages that Wukong is a Simp

@wolfsonic ha chiesto: AWWWWWW!!! I LOVE THESE MONKIESSS! I just imagine Mk and Mac training with shadows, and Mk decided one day to practice his shadows by trying to tickle WuKong!

betrayed by his own son

@phoenixeclipse-lmkau ha chiesto: Is Macaque going to have to re-courtnap Wukong because they broke up before? Or would Wukong Courtnap Macaque after all this. Or are they just gonna skip the courtnapping part since they already did it in the past?

depends if we go by the headcanon that courtnapping=marriage

@elixcv ha chiesto: HI! first of all, I just wanna say that I LOVEEEEEEE you bio parent AU, it simply scratches something in my brain. I wish you all the good things in the world(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧ Now, in second place, I have 2 questions (and dw, if it's smth u don't/can't answer i don't mind, i just wanna say it, i guess?): 1. In your AU, pigsy is some kind of lower/not-so-strong demon? And, if he is, did he also Courtnapping Tang in his own way? 2. Can the courtnapping go both ways? Like, it just can happen one time per couple, or is a requirement that u have to courtnapping the other person back to show ur feelings? Bc, I can see a MK Courtnapping RS, and then RS trying to Courtnapping back, and in my head is like they're playing around the city in a complicated game of tag, or a hide n' seek. This can also apply to swk and macaque. I appreciate your thoughts about anything of this, even if I'm wrong in every way. I'm so excited about this AU and really love the way you write/draw it (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ (sorry for the bad English, I know to read/hear but the grammatical is always a pain in my ass ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

Yes, he's a lower demon, but in the end, it was Tang who did the courtnapping bc he thought that Pigsy wouldn't date him if he didn't court him the demon way, while Pigsy was planning on courting him the human way.

Yes. I think courtnapping can go both way but it's not a must or expected to.

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I was reading your last post about MK and his mortality and I was wondering, if MK was on the verge of dying and there was no other way to save him would Monkey King give him a Peach of Immortality? Would MK be upset about it? Also sorry if this question is too angsty 😅 Anonimo ha chiesto: Isn't redson immortal due to being half celestial or fallen celestial idk? Wouldn't he try to convince mk to take it if they get together? @purpleprinceblood ha chiesto: I think Wukong desperately wants Mk to be immortal but also knows that a) Mk would hate it and b) Wukong would too Like, dude has severe depression from his immortality and his friends leaving him, I think he would hate to watch Mk deal with that I could see Wukong offering Mk a life span growing thing, like in jttw iirc the peaches add like 500 years to your life span, Wukong just eats so many of them that they make him immortal, so I could see him offering it as a "I'm scared to lose you but also don't want you suffering like I do" @sakurablossoms-world ha chiesto: Wouldn’t MK technically be long-living since he’s the child of two powerful entities, I mean Redson is 500 and he’s considered to be in his early 20’s by mortal comparison, so wouldn’t it be expected that he’d outlive everyone (Redson and maybe Mei being an exception)? So while he would still value his mortality, immortality wouldn’t really make that big a difference in hindsight. Then again I could be mistaken.

I think MK wouldn't like to become immortal against his choice regardless. Yes, in S1 we see he wanted to become one, but I think he still was in that phase were he just wanted to be/do everything like his hero. And that included eating a peach of immortality. I don't think he ever thought of the implication of being immortal

@yainmy ha chiesto: If Mk has been developing more of Macaques powers does that mean he can develope shadow clones like Rumble and Savage? Or will it be a chaotic nightmare like that one clones episode in the series?

He can only control one shadow clone: his own shadow!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello, I'm too nervous to send this non-anonymously, but I was wondering if I could take inspo from your ShadowPeach Bio parents AU for my own AU called Twins Of The Cycle? It's an AU with my oc, I basically just gave MK a twin.

Nope. If you want to ask for permission, you need to ask me not in anounymous.

@oddogoblino ha chiesto: Random but I find it so silly to imagine Wukong doesn't have the courtnapping instinct bc he's just a stone monkey (made up of pieces of heaven itself + the earth bc...stone), so the times he blushes over Mac are just him imagining cute innocent stuff like wanting to hold Macaque super close and cuddly. Also funnier thing, I was playing with the idea of shape-shifting being gender-limited for most beings/demons and Wukong's ability to shape-shift into women being wukong being an iconic monkey again so your latest update is a very fun surprise ! Yippee!!!

waitwaitwait I got it-

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can they monkeys purr like kittens?? It will be SOO CUTE if they can!!!✨

Maybe???

Anonimo ha chiesto: was Macaque ever more reckless than Wukong ? Maybe in their youth 🤔

Oh definetely

Anonimo ha chiesto: did the Brotherhood in your AU know about Wukong being trans or Macaque courtnapping Wukong? did one of them try to courtnap someone, including our fav monkey boys? 👀👀👀

Yes, the brotherhood knew

@blossomhill36353 ha chiesto: AAAAAAAHHHH THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOOD!!! I love u and your shadowpeach AU with all of my heart u know that!!!!❤��❤️❤️ I have a question tho!! Soo about the glamour thing are they can teach MK how to use one? And since mac has already shown without glamour Infront of MK will Wukong do the same as well??

Yes MK knows the basic of glamours. as for your second question, who knows....

@cutvdo ha chiesto: How oblivious / dense do you think Redson is? like would he notices when MK is blushing?

I'll tell you that, in the last comic, he actually did (the crowd goes in a standing ovation for the idiots of the century)

Anonimo ha chiesto: sooooo a lot of ppl like having Macaque having white hair/fur bc BUT does Wukong have any that he’s ashamed to admit?? 👀👀👀👀

he has but they are only stress related

Anonimo ha chiesto: I like how the shadow tickle courtnapping implies that Macaque could've gained the upper hand during any of their fights in the series, but he chose not to because the feelings associated with it were still raw.

Ah. Ok. Well, thank you but now I gotta stay in the corner and cry after this information

Anonimo ha chiesto: If Wukong and Macaque had been around for school who would the school prefer come if they called home Macaque or Wukong. I feel like Wukong because macaque would be overprotective.

They are the meme where MK got into a fight and they come in a hurry just to ask him if he won

Anonimo ha chiesto: I want someone to call either Macaque and Wukong old, and they get super mad and try to say they aren't old but they are

they are. they are very old.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque ever had to deal with Wukong having a period?? Does Wukong even have any if he shape-shifts?? Sorry if this feels inappropriate. Anonimo ha chiesto: WAIT, DOES WUKONG BEING TRANS MEAN MACAQUE HAD/HAS TO DEAL WITH HIS PERIODS?!?!.! ANCHHDMSBJFMDBCMDN 😂

Yup, he still has the normal period symptoms and Mac had to stay with him all the time

Anonimo ha chiesto: Who would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm"

Wukong. And he would do it while shapeshifting as a worm

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they where like super angry at someone or something would Wukong & Macaque hiss (not sure what you would call the noise but, full on fangs out.)

I think yeah.

autism-autobot ha chiesto: Are we ever going to see the pilgrims in the shadowpeach bio parents au?

Nope

k4izershasfreakycanon ha chiesto: Hello,so if you dont remember me i was the one who made a custom outfit for mk! i only have the front rendered and coloref so i just wanted to say that you're always allowed to use it in comics! just please credit me:)

Thank you! But I made already his outfit way prior your own post so I already planned to using my original design.

[a-student-out-of-time]

An Important Reminder In Trying Times

Hey everyone, Mod Bubbles here.

I know that I've said over and over that I don't like talking about politics on here, but I really feel the need to say this:

This Is Not The End.

I understand things probably seem really bleak right now. A lot of people are going to be hurt by this, and the sheer amount of fearmongering and worst case scenarios are inescapable. But the country and the world are not going to change overnight. To be honest, it may not change very much at all in the next four years. I'm not a political scientist, so I can't tell you that for sure. There's a lot to be concerned about.

What I can tell you, as a student of history, is this: not only have we survived this once, we have survived this every time.

Think about it this way: every single tyrant, every single right-wing representative, every single emperor and colonial power, every corporate scumbag and power-hungry lunatic. No matter how many of them have ever come to power, held onto power, and tried to make themselves seem invincible, not a single one has ever held back humanity's progress and not a single one has proven to be invincible.

There were countries throughout history, especially in the 20th century, that fell under brutal dictatorships and saw countless lives lost. Did the people just give up and accept it? Fuck no they didn't. They fought back. Many of them lived to see democracy restored to their lands in their lifetimes, or fought to see it restored in their children's.

From Europe to Latin America, while many countries still have their issues, they endured and their people have survived. Their governments were not invincible, just as none ever have been.

Regardless of the outcome of this election, the world will go on. People will not just roll over and accept whatever horrible things happen, the fight will continue and we will do everything in our power to carry on as we always have. We'll carry on to achieve bigger and better things.

Let me also be clear: if you feel the need to cry, please cry. If you're afraid, don't pretend you're not. If you're angry, allow yourself to feel that anger. But if you're seriously contemplating giving up or hurting yourself, please don't.

You may hear all this news and ask yourself, "Bubbles, what's the point? What can I do about all this?" I've felt that way too, I have for a long time. I understand completely. It's scary and overwhelming, but I'll tell you exactly what you can do to fight against that: you can be kind.

Do you want to know where the most tangible change in the world begins? It's never at the top. It begins with people like us on a communal level, where we reach out to help others. Whether that means we help our neighbors, our friends, or any strangers we can.

Going out of your way to start fights, looking for someone to blame based on the flimsiest justifications, and just being cruel because you're angry, those aren't how you change anything. Those just add to the problem.

Here's just some ideas on what you can do instead:

Get away from the news, stop doomscrolling, mute doomers, and turn the TV and news apps off. This will get you out of a negative feedback loop that'll make you feel worse and more powerless, which is what they're designed to do in order to maximize traffic.

Remember to eat, sleep, brush your teeth, take a shower, take your meds, and do everything else you need to do to stay healthy.

If you or someone else really feel like leaving the country for your own safety is best, you can still work do so. But please don't convince yourself that if you can't, it's over.

Give back to people as much as you can. Show the people in your life who support you that you care, and that all that they do for you matters.

Donate to good causes you believe in.

Stand up to bullshit whenever you see it.

Do not give up on your dreams and ambitions. One bad leader does not mean your future automatically ends. Stop worrying about any potential apocalypse in the future, because you can do that even on the best days, and instead work toward a future that you CAN achieve.

There's this pervasive and very inaccurate idea that it's only the president who gets to enforce policies on the country. This ignores governors, the House of Representatives, Congress, mayors, and the countless other leaders involved. And it ignores you.

You do not have to spend the next 3 years and 364 days doing nothing but feeling miserable. In fact, that's the last thing you should do. Fear and despair are the weapons they wield, and they only have as much power as you allow them to have over you.

If your view of politics is that you just have to vote for the "right one" and then everything will be utopian, or that if people vote for the wrong one" then we're headed for a terrible dystopian nightmare, I have to tell you that that is incredibly reductionist and also very dumb. I can also tell you from personal experience that it's not them who make the real changes where it's needed.

A friend sent me a video that really opened my eyes on this situation: Adam Conover, the guy behind Adam Ruins Everything, said he's not worried about all this. Why? Because he and some friends were able, through their own power, to make real positive changes in their community. They were able to bring homelessness down in their district by over 38% through their own efforts.

And he's right that, as a silver lining to all this, it made more Americans than ever take a stand against all the horrible shit they were seeing and get involved with solutions.

Speaking from my own experiences as well, when Hurricane Helene devastated my area, it wasn't the politicians who came and repaired roads and power lines, it wasn't them who brought in food and supplies to everyone, and it wasn't them who worked tirelessly to save people still in need. It was everyone in our local communities.

The people at the top have never really cared about anything more than your money and your vote, but the people around you care more than you may believe they would. Hell, even strangers on the internet care more than you'd believe.

Now, even if you've made it this far, you may be wondering "What about when he starts outlawing and banning things?" To that, I say look at Prohibition and see how well that went. Politicians have only ever operated under the idea that banning something will make it go away, and it always does the exact opposite. And if you're still worried, you can get involved with organizations that fight to support these things being available and regulated.

But by now, you may also be wondering "What if I can't get involved? What if I'm too young or I don't have the money, or my parents won't let me?"

Then just be kind.

Stop looking for enemies to blame. Don't martyr yourself for some nebulous cause or the idea that your suffering increasing means the rest of the suffering in the world will go down. Don't torture yourself by telling yourself that you didn't do enough.

Show compassion, show support, show love and genuine care toward people who need it, including yourself.

"But there's so many shitty people in this country and the world, why should I-" Stop thinking that way. This isn't about them, this is about you and how you can make a difference. There will probably always be shitheads and power-hungry morons, but that does not negate the fact that you can choose to be different. You can choose to be kind.

Kindness is a sword that you have to learn how to wield. Wield it responsibly and use it to help others. No matter how small or insignificant it may be, YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I say all this as a 29-year-old who spent most of his life feeling scared and miserable about so many current events, convincing myself I'm useless and selfish because I was worried about so much and I hated myself for all of it. And I've decide I'm not going to do that anymore.

During the last right-wing era, I managed to help build a whole community out of my love for Danganronpa. I created friendships, relationships, and there are people alive right now because I chose to do so. Because I chose to use that community for kindness. I want to keep building from there by going into streaming and reaching out to more people.

I won't lie to you and say that I'm not scared, because I am. But I'm also not going to let fear change who I am. I want us all to be better to ourselves and others, because that is how you defeat hate. It starts with you.

And if you're still concerned, let me share with you a quote from The Great Dictator, a movie made in 1940, when World War II wasn't even at its height yet:

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish…

Please take care of yourselves out there, everyone. We'll get through this, just as we always have.

[not-available-for-comment]

THANK YOU SO MUCH. The attempted rehabilitation of Mrs. Bennet by fandom drives me bananas. My own mother occasionally lacked the awareness to make things easy for me socially but she was NOT a horrible selfish grasping shrew. There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE. The text is clearly and explicitly portraying a bad mother, and showing how her own irresponsible choices make everything worse.

My own mother had a different kind of bad mother herself, so it has always bothered me the degree to which people want to make excuses for mothers specifically, as though bad fathers are the only kind of bad parent that exists. Mothers can also be bad parents and it’s ok and in fact important to acknowledge that. Yeah our parents (even at times our fathers!) have pressures on them that aren’t obvious to us as kids, and I’m extremely aware from personal experience of what those pressures can be. But even people who are making bad parenting decisions for understandable reasons are bad parents. In an IRL situation it is ok to say well clearly you were a bad parent during this period but as an adult I’ve decided to forgive you and continue having a relationship with you and that’s ok too! That’s allowed and is a rough approximation of how I’ve chosen to approach my relationship with my own most difficult parent.

But Mrs. Bennet is fictional. You’re not gonna hurt her feelings by failing to show up for Christmas dinner. She is trapped in amber during the period in her daughters’ lives when she was probably least nurturing and most difficult to deal with, and acknowledging that is honest and hurts no one. A lot of defenses of her boil down to “yeah she was awful but you have to understand that she was worried for her daughters’ future”. To which I have 2 things to say:

Clearly not fucking worried enough, since she chose living vicariously through Lydia and indulging her own tastes over her daughters’s material benefit with incredible consistency.

This argument makes my skin crawl due to how often I see it applied to similarly selfish mothers IRL. We have a wider culture of excusing unhealthy maternal behavior because “her heart’s in the right place”. You know what after a certain point the placement of your goddamn heart doesn’t matter anymore. If you’ve gotta fake good behavior then just do that and leave your hazy grasp of anatomy out of it.

I know this is ranty and less articulate than the posts above, but I think you could argue that this conversation highlights a maybe under appreciated way that Austen is still relevant in the modern era. Yeah there are a lot of differences in culture between her time and ours, and the process of looking for a partner is typically pretty different. But this book also asks the questions “what is a ‘good’ marriage, and what are ‘good’ parents in the context of looking for a spouse?” And provides a really interesting gallery of options in response to both questions. Is Darcy a good ‘parent’ to Georgiana? Who is a better parent to Lydia, Darcy or her own parents? Is Charlotte’s financially advantageous marriage a ‘good’ one? Should her parents have allowed it? What about Mr. and Mrs. Bennett’s? And while Charlotte’s choice is I think probably viewed a lot less sympathetically now than it would’ve been at the time, I’d be fascinated to know how this conversation compares to Mrs. Bennett’s reception at the time of publication. A good marriage looks different now, but good parents? Oh now that conversation is as old as the hills…

For the past several years (and perhaps longer) in the P&P fandom I've seen a lot of people who want to rehabilitate Mrs. Bennet: like, sure, she's uncouth and seems greedy, but it's because she cares so much about her daughters' futures; her situation is actually really stressful and uncertain and she's powerless to change it and her husband makes fun of her, and so it's natural that it would cause her to be anxious all the time; maybe she doesn't have the intelligence or social awareness to understand that her behaviour is actually harming her daughters' prospects, but at least her heart is in the right place.

I'm usually not the type of person who argues that fandom is actually being too nice to a female character, but in this case I don't buy the counter-narrative (which I think is popular enough at this point to be fanon / a narrative in itself) about Mrs. Bennet.

For one thing, she was never really powerless in this situation. These people are rich even for gentry. Mr. Bennet's income was always good, at 2,000 pounds per annum (even though I can't believe he isn't neglecting some practices that could raise it higher). Mrs. Bennet had 4,000 pounds from her parents and a further 1,000 from Mr. Bennet. Invested in the 4 per cents (for example), this is 200 pounds per year in pin money that Mrs. Bennet could spend without touching the principle of her dowry, and without affecting Mr. Bennet's income. This is more than some people's entire yearly incomes.

The picture of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet that we get in P&P is not of people who are helpless against their circumstances, but of people who are extraordinarily neglectful. We're told that:

Mr. Bennet had very often wished, before this period of his life, that, instead of spending his whole income, he had laid by an annual sum, for the better provision of his children, and of his wife, if she survived him. [...] When first Mr. Bennet had married, economy was held to be perfectly useless; for, of course, they were to have a son. This son was to join in cutting off the entail, as soon as he should be of age, and the widow and younger children would by that means be provided for. Five daughters successively entered the world, but yet the son was to come; and Mrs. Bennet, for many years after Lydia’s birth, had been certain that he would. This event had at last been despaired of, but it was then too late to be saving. Mrs. Bennet had no turn for economy; and her husband’s love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their income.

We also know that the "continual presents in money which passed to [Lydia] through her mother’s hands," plus her allowance and food, amount to about 90 pounds per year. Rather than saving up from the beginning in case the entail is not broken, rather than beginning to save once it's clear a son will not arrive, rather than making Jane's dowry the full 5,000 from her mother (which would be something) and saving up for the younger girls' dowries thereafter—which is what would be typical, and that's why Lady Catherine was so shocked that all the girls were out at once—Mrs. Bennet's housekeeping, dress, the girls' allowance, presents of money over and above their allowance, plus whatever Mr. Bennet is spending money on (and other expenses relating to servants, carriages, maintenance &c. which are unavoidable), add up to their entire income. The only reason why Mrs. Bennet doesn't overspend even that is that that's where Mr. Bennet puts his foot down.

Mrs. Bennet is actively harming her daughters' prospects, not even of marriage, but of living respectably if they don't marry, because she doesn't have the temperance not to spend all of the income that is allotted to her. It is the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of the housekeeping, servants, cooking, furniture, and all expenses relating thereto (plus certain attentions to her tenants and any living in genteel poverty in the area, though presumably this will depend on her income and whether there's a parish church with a parson's wife who's doing some of these things). She's an adult who should be competent to manage these things in a reasoned way without needing to be dictated to.

It is supposed to be the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of her daughters' education—and yet Mrs. Bennet did not hire a governess, and Elizabeth says that she didn't spend much time teaching her daughters anything (it's not clear to what degree she's educated herself). Granted, the girls did have masters—but, from the sounds of things, that was only if they requested them. No one was required to learn much of anything, which will probably further harm the marriage prospects of the girls who "chose to be idle."

I think the "point" of Mrs. Bennet is that she is one half of one type of bad marriage which the novel illustrates, in contrast with the Gardiners' marriage. These marriages are two possible models for the Bennet daughters to look to. At one point, Elizabeth's prospective marriage is explicitly compared to her parents', with her in the role of her father: Mr. Bennet says "My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life" (emphasis original).

We might wonder whether Elizabeth saw herself potentially in the role of her father, in a marriage that was very intellectually unequal, when she rejected Mr. Collins; or whether she also saw herself in the role of her mother, married to a man who insults and doesn't respect her, when she rejected Mr. Darcy. Ultimately, she accepts Mr. Darcy after she realises that he is nothing like her father; that he is diligent in attending to his responsibilities, and that he does evidently respect her mind.

This isn't me defending Mr. Bennet, who is also a bad parent and a bad spouse. I do, however, find it a little disturbing when people suggest that Mr. Bennet is at fault for not controlling or curtailing his wife. His wife is a grown woman. Surely we don't actually believe that a situation where a man is legally in complete control over his wife, merely because he is a man and she is a woman, is in any way natural, moral, or just? (This also goes for people who suggest that Mr. Bingley needs to get his sister 'in line' 😬😬😬.)

Mrs. Bennet should be competent to manage her household and her daughters. Given that she's not, yes, Mr. Bennet, according to Georgian and Victorian ideas of the role of a man in a marriage, "should" have stepped in and started dictating to her. But I don't really think that's what Austen is suggesting went wrong here. The models of good marriages we have—the Gardiners, the Bingleys and Darcys after their weddings—are all ones in which the women were basically sensible people to begin with. In the latter two cases, we are told of particular ways in which the men stand to benefit from some mental quality of their future spouse (Elizabeth's good humour and ease in company; Jane's steadiness and determination).

The ideal which some Georgians had of a husband's role being to shape his wife's intellect doesn't seem to be what's being advocated here. If Mr. Bennet made a mistake, it was in marrying a silly, selfish, ill-tempered woman to begin with, not in failing to browbeat her into submission once he found out that she was silly, selfish, and ill-tempered. The idea is that you should choose your spouse carefully. But that message doesn't work if Mrs. Bennet is just a woman in a difficult situation who has her heart in the right place.

[mynameismckenziemae]

Mix It With Rum

Tyler Owens x Female Reader

Warnings: MDNI! Adults (18+) only! Smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, exhibitionism (kind of), a single slap on the ass, dirty talk, creampie kink, etc.

Request from @lexixstewart

Song is Rum by Brothers Osborne

﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼 ﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏

“Oops,” you giggle as you set the drinks down a little too hard, creamy liquid sloshing over the side.

No one can see you in the little outdoor shower attached to your room so there’s no qualms about licking clean what spilled over your hand.

“Yum,” a sigh escapes you as the cool, sweet flavors of pineapple and coconut hit your tongue. It tastes better than the first one you had earlier, putting you on the right side of tipsy.

After starting the shower, you turn on Spotify and strip off your bikini top, tossing it over the top of the wood surround, and smiling because you know Tyler can see it from the pool where you left him when he’d gotten distracted by a bachelor party talking football.

The most fitting song begins to play as your bottoms join the top and you slide under the lukewarm water, humming along as you rinse the sunscreen and sand from your slightly pink skin.

We came out here to do a whole lotta nothin'

And we're doin' pretty good I think

It was the first full day of your weeklong honeymoon and between wedding planning and storm chasing, the two of you hadn’t had a chance to relax in months. The hot sun, even hotter sex, and beautiful beach are just what you need.

Your hips start to sway as you hum along, pausing only to take another swallow of the addicting drink.

The only one thing we need to worry about

Is fillin' up when the ice cubes clink

After the shampoo is rinsed, you lather your body while the conditioner’s in your hair, your skin so soft and smooth from the sand.

Dippin' our toes in the water

I don't care if it gets any hotter

There’s a loud, wet slap and you whip around to a grinning Tyler, his cheeks flushed from rum and sun.

“Tyler James,” you chide, rubbing the burning handprint he left on your buttcheek, “the pool is right there! Anyone could’ve heard that.”

It's you and me rememberin' how to have fun

Let's put our hearts together

He sings you the words as he drops his swim trunks, his cock thick and hard between his muscular thighs as he takes a long drink from the glass next to yours before stepping through the water, back you straight against the cool, damp wood.

“You’re gonna much more than that later tonight for sneaking away on me, Mrs. Owens,” he smiles as his hands find your ass, taking a handful in each before squeezing tightly; a promise for later. “The only other group out there left when I did,” he continues, leaning close to brush his lips over yours before giving you a teasing kiss, “I made sure it was empty so I could do this.”

“Do wha-oh,” you cut off with a sigh when he drops to his knees, lifting your thigh over his sun-kissed shoulder before he surges forward.

Two parts love and a pinch of good weather

And top it all off with the sun…continues in the background as he unhurriedly and messily uses his tongue, lips, chin, and nose to devour you.

When you nearly knock both half-full glasses off the shelf to steady yourself, an idea comes to mind.

The chilled drink is cool against your heated skin as you slowly pour it over your breasts. Tyler’s eyes have fallen closed so he doesn’t even notice until it hits his tongue.

“Taste so good,” he moans, eyes full of lust as he takes in the view, “nothing could get better than this; my wife’s sweet pussy,” he licks a thick stripe through your arousal, “mixed with my cum from earlier,” his dirty words make you whimper as he wetly laps up the sweet concoction sliding down your stomach, “and piña colada. Fuck.”

He slides one hand up through the mess and the other goes between your thighs as he zeroes in on your clit with his tongue. He taps two fingers on your lips, pushing them inside to suck on when you open your mouth while two slip into your pussy to curl against your g-spot.

And mix it with rum, mm, mm, mm, mm.

Already toeing the edge of your release, the vibrations as he hums along is all it takes for you to fall over; your sounds of pleasure are muted by his fingers.

Tyler doesn’t give you a chance to recover before he rises; your legs wrap around his waist by muscle memory alone when he lifts you.

The low, drawn-out groan when he sinks inside your still-clenching body makes you shiver before he sets a quick, unforgiving pace with his thrusts, revealing how just worked up he is.

“Never gonna let you outta my sight again-fuck!” He grunts against your neck when you tighten around him, “Gonna stay in the room the rest of the trip so I can fill you up any time I want,” he angles his hips to catch your clit with each stroke, “anywhere I want, and any hole I want.”

“Yes,” you breathe, tugging him up by his hair to give him a biting kiss, “Please Ty. I need it-need your cum.”

He groans into your lips as his hips slow into a grind, cock twitching as he releases deep inside you; his triggers yours with a soft cry that he doesn’t bother to muffle.

“Love you,” he pants, pressing his forehead to yours as you catch your breath.

“I love you too. And I want you to have me in any and every way you want,” you smile softly, give him a sweet kiss, “but I’m not staying in the room for the rest of the trip.”

“Alright,” he agrees with a laugh, “so a blow job at the beach and anal in the cabana?”

﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏𓇼 ﹏❀﹏𓇼﹏❀﹏

A/N: If you’re wondering where this came from…I would like nothing more than to be a little tipsy, a little sunburnt and a lotta fucked at a beach right now. 😏

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love knowing what you think in the comments/reblogs.

Tagging who I think may be interested (ignore if you don’t want to read this, I just don’t have a ‘Tyler Owens’ taglist yet):

@lexixstewart (thank you for the idea/prompt 😘 I hope you like it!)

@shanimallina87

@dizzybee03

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@bellaireland1981

@blindedbythelightt

@hookslove1592

@seitmai

[kurooh]

★ 02. MORNING ROUTINE !

☆ after filming your first scene and talking it over with your agent, you’re off to your second . . in a maid costume!? once filming is over, you’re roped into an interesting conversation regarding a few other stars.

warnings. 18+ content — mdni, fem! reader, everyone is over 21, oral (f receiving), cum eating, maids, awkwardness, creampie, unprotected sex. | 4.9K words

xoxo, juno. SHES BACKKKKK! comment & rb if you enjoyed! thank u to wolfy anon for proofreading ily ♡

SHOWTIME MLIST.

“hey, good morning,” shinsou rushes up to you at the doors, lightly grabbing onto your shoulder before you can walk into the studio. “how’d yesterday’s shoot go for you?”

“good morning!” you reply happily, lighting up as you turn to face your agent. “let’s get some coffee from the place across the street, and i can tell you while we walk?”

“sounds good,” he exhales, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. “it’s definitely getting colder, god. i could seriously use some coffee.”

“ah, it is. anyway, filming wasn’t too bad. i had director iida, i believe? yeah, he was pretty alright.” you and shinsou walk side by side, stopping to hit the button and waiting for the lights to change.

shinsou gives a small smile, crossing the street with you. “how’d it go with your co-star? i figured he’d be a good introduction for you.”

“shōto was nice,” you say, warmth rising to your cheeks. the memory of being pressed against him and fucking is a little blurry, but just thinking about it has your pussy clenching around nothing. the faint feeling of his touch ghosts across your skin, and you clear your throat awkwardly. “um . . i think we ended up doing well together.”

shinsou’s not surprised. after all, he pulled the strings behind the scenes to get you with him.

“that’s good! i’ve been meaning to ask you about what you’re interested to do today,” shinsou holds the door of the coffee shop open for you and follows you inside. “i’ll get you up to speed after we order, alright? and don’t worry, i’ll just cover your drink.”

“oh,” you’re in the middle of unzipping your purse, “you really don’t have to, shinsou! i’ve got it.”

“i insist, it’s my treat.” he leaves no room for you to fight him any further, and you place the order together once it’s your turn.

“what were you saying about filming today?” you draw his attention back to the aforementioned topic as you sit down at a table together to wait for your drinks.

“oh, that’s right. you’ve been booked by a lot of different people, so you’ve gotta choose who you want to film with today. personally, i think you’ve got some decent options.”

“is that so?” you exhale, wondering if anyone else could possibly top your experience with shōto. but of course, you’re employed at a pornography studio, where dreams become reality and anything is possible.

shinsou’s voice drops to a low whisper, his words meant for your ears only. “well, there’s this . . maid thing, or some kind of bdsm shoot.”

“those are not good options,” you groan, closing your eyes briefly in disgust. “who’re the people booking? anyone important?”

“obviously, the maid film is from denki kaminari. the bdsm is—”

you’ve seen denki kaminari’s videos before. he seems to be energetic and also a little pervy, but he’s good looking and you’re not in the mood to be tied up in ropes or chains.

“i’ll go with the maid film. is he offering a lot?”

“kaminari’s a bit . . eccentric,” shinsou offers, waving his hand dismissively. “he doesn’t usually book with a set amount in mind like everyone else does. he prefers to shoot the film and then pay based off of what it makes.”

so, there are a few financial risks when it comes to choosing denki kaminari, but you sigh and bite the bullet. “that’s not ideal, but i’ll take it. when’s it scheduled?”

shinsou looks over at a mounted clock behind you, “if you’re going for this, you’re supposed to be over there in an hour.”

the barista calls out shinsou’s name, and you pick up the coffees while he sends a confirmation email to kaminari’s agent.

your arrival to shinsou’s office is met with an assistant of some kind dropping off a garment bag. through the fabric, you can see big frills and bows that most definitely will be itchy when you’re going around in it.

shinsou takes the bag with a sigh, and the assistant presses a yellow sticky note to the side of it before scurrying off quickly. you pick up the yellow paper and read the messy writing scrawled onto it.

hey! please change into this before arriving to set, director’s orders. we hope the dress is comfortable, even though it doesn’t look like it.

“i assume this is from kaminari?” you say flatly, tugging the sticky note off the bag.

“of course it is,” shinsou replies, holding the door open for you, “you can change in here before you head over. by the way, you’re heading to the fourth floor and turning to the left.”

“thanks, shinsou.”

unzipping the garment bag yields a frilly black and white dress decked out with bows and all kinds of lace. tucked in neatly beside the dress is a folded set of thigh high socks and a prop duster that looks as though it’s never been used. you pull off your clothes and change into the provided ones with little excitement. at the very least, you’ll get paid well and then end up filming something better, hopefully again with shōto.

shinsou nearly drops his phone when you step out of his office in that ridiculous dress—it looks so good on you, accentuating your chest and complimenting your figure beautifully. you fiddle with the bow necktie, fingers tangling in the black fabric. his mouth goes dry when you look up at him shyly, gesturing toward the necktie as best you can.

“could you help me tie this, shinsou?”

“of course,” he nods politely, snapping out of his daze. his nimble fingers undo the knots you’ve created and he ties it easily for you, pulling it into a snug bow. “you look great, by the way.” immediately after the words leave his mouth, he regrets having added that bit, but you smile at him and give him a spin, letting your skirt fan out.

“thanks. wish me luck?”

“good luck,” shinsou laughs dryly, turning away quickly before you can notice the redness blooming on his cheeks. “remember, fourth floor and to the left. there’ll be a sign or something on the door.”

you wave, thanking him again, and you both go your separate ways. the elevator comes quickly, and you go upwards silently, until the elevator stops a floor too early.

“there’s my pretty co-star!” an energetic voice exclaims, and the owner of it steps onto the elevator, practically buzzing with excitement. “come on, we can head up together!”

you recognize him easily; denki kaminari’s signature blond hair has a streak of black through it, and he’s got a winning smile playing on his lips, showcasing his nice teeth.

“it’s nice to meet you,” you say, offering a hand in his direction. his energy isn’t off putting, just a little . . much for the first film of the day. kaminari instead wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, giving you a warm hug as though you’re a long lost friend of his.

the elevator’s chugging upwards slowly, and kaminari’s still wrapped around you. well, okay. this is slightly weird; you’re going to be all over each other in less than twenty minutes and he’s already this friendly? something about him already has you on edge, necktie suddenly feeling like a noose.

you cough, pulling away and practically skittering into the corner of the elevator. he looks at you weirdly, confusion written all over his face, but you straighten and smooth out the ruffles on your dress.

“i’m sorry, it’s—we just met,” you utter, at a loss for words. maybe this is just how he is, but now you’re starting to worry if you’ve jeopardized your dynamic on set with him.

kaminari’s features soften with embarrassment, cheeks growing pink. then he very obviously panics internally, voice frantic and high as he tries to explain himself.

“oh my god! you’re right, i’m so sorry!” he stumbles over his words, and you wonder if the elevator is stuck with how long it’s taking. “i’m sorry, i really . . i’ve wanted to meet you for the longest time, and now you must think i’m a dumbass—ah, sorry!”

at last, the elevator finally comes to a halt. its doors open and you dash out, kaminari following with his head hanging. before you can open the door, he stops you with a sigh.

“wait, i—i want to redo our first meeting.”

you turn, gracing him with your attention and patience. “and how exactly do you plan to redo it?”

“with a proper introduction and handshake. no hugs, i promise.” he seems genuine, and your shoulders start to relax. kaminari extends his hand, a truce, and envelops yours once you reach out too.

“well, you already know me. just call me denki, though, okay? no kaminari or anything.”

“understood, denki.”

the door is thrown open and director yaoyorozu pops her head out, looking left and right.

“there you two are! goodness, i was about to send out a search party.”

“it’s nice to meet you,” you say, shaking her hand and stepping inside behind her. “in the email, you didn’t have any kind of script . . is this some kind of freestyle thing?”

“i am so glad you asked,” she sighs, pulling the sharpened pencil from behind her ear. “i’ve got a simple idea to go off of, but the rest of it is up to you.”

“up to us?” denki chokes out, sounding shocked.

“um, yes?” the director sniffs, confused. “remember, you came to me with all of this.”

“director yaomomo, i thought you’d come up with a script!” he whines lamely, and she only rolls her eyes.

“kaminari, please. next time you’re booking a set, director, and supplies last minute, make sure you’ve got something for them to work with besides a generic concept.”

“director, the pancakes are finished and the set is ready.” a member of the film crew flashes her a double thumbs up and a smile.

“great, thanks so much,” yaoyorozu gushes before turning back toward you and denki. “so, the theme here is maids, of course. in this film, she’ll be waiting on you and waking you up with breakfast while you’re fake sleeping. obviously, you’re aware of what takes place next.”

“so, minimal dialogue?” you ask, folding your arms as you listen closely.

“the scene may have as much dialogue as you want it to. i’ll let you two head off and prep before we get started, okay?”

director yaoyorozu’s dark ponytail swings behind her as she saunters off toward the set to make a few more adjustments. denki waves at you, then heads off toward the changing area while you sigh.

—

“is everyone entirely ready and in position?”

a few stage crew members adjust the lighting and some microphones before giving yaoyorozu confirmation through raised thumbs. she nods toward you, just as someone places a hefty tray into your hands. the silver platter carries a plate stacked high with blueberry pancakes, drizzled in syrup, and a tall glass of orange juice beside it. matching silverware sits neatly beside the plate, atop a folded napkin.

yaoyorozu crosses her legs in her director’s chair, while you try not to shake with the heavy breakfast platter in your hands. orange juice lurches from side to side in the glass, threatening to spill over if you don’t remain steady.

“action!”

you smile when you step through the doorway, sweat beading along your forehead as you try to mask the nervousness. denki’s shirtless and on his stomach in the bed, a mess of sheets and blankets covering his lower half. trembling, you finally set the breakfast platter down on the bedside table, taking a seat on the bed.

denki’s getting hard just from feeling the shift of your weight on the mattress. the director might have to end filming early with the way his breath hitches at the touch of your palm to his back. slowly, you rub his skin in small circles, encouraging him to wake up. is it possible to be aroused from an almost entirely innocent gesture coming from someone you don’t know?

he stirs with a groan, turning over with a yawn. denki looks up at you through hooded eyes, his lower half still tangled in the bedsheets.

“good morning, sleepyhead,” you sigh, a lot less nervous now that you’re no longer holding onto that damn tray. “i made you breakfast and cleaned around the house. gently dusted your figure collection too.”

“t-thank you,” denki smiles, sitting up. “uh, what’s for breakfast?”

“blueberry pancakes and OJ,” you say automatically, cutting a piece off the sticky pastries with the fork. “i think you’ll love it.”

there’s something too intimate about the way you feed him the piece of the pancake, your eyes on his as he swallows it.

“well?” you breathe expectantly, lifting his chin and tilting it toward you when he shyly averts his eyes. the simple gesture startles him, sends his heart into quite the flurry, and denki finds himself fighting to get a grip. really, he’s never been this awkward on set in all his years as a pornstar—in fact, a film like this would be the easiest for him . . so why’s it so difficult?

a few sparks fly between you when denki grabs your chin in return, tugging you into a kiss. you gasp, startled, and he licks into your mouth, letting you taste the sweetness of the pancakes for yourself. seriously, whoever made them deserves head; they’re sweet and fruity, but maybe they just taste better on denki’s tongue.

he moans deeply against your lips, and you swallow the low sound with one of your own. beneath all the frills and lacy ruffles, sticky arousal begins to pool in your panties, soaking through the fabric far too easily. meanwhile, denki’s trepidation melts away fully; he grows more absorbed in the kiss, until he regretfully pulls away for breath.

you look at him through your lashes, nodding blissfully when he looks toward your skirt. denki slowly slips a hand beneath all the fabric and groans loudly, his fingers swiping at your damp panties before moving past the fabric to stroke your slick folds.

before you can move into another kiss, the director lets out a peeved sigh and shakes her head, “cut!”

denki pushes a finger inside of you, savoring the gasp you let out like a piece of specialty candy. “listen to yaomomo for both of us, ‘kay?”

“b-but they’re not rolling,” you protest in a whisper shout, although your hips jerk toward him when he sinks in all the way to his knuckle.

“no rules against it, baby.” the once anxious denki you met thirty minutes ago is gone, replaced with the confident pornstar you’ve come to know through years of watching UA’s videos.

yaoyorozu claps her hands together, facing you and denki but not noticing anything going on beneath the umbrella-like cover of your skirt.

“you’re both doing well so far, but when i said the amount of dialogue was up to you, i didn’t mean no talking at all.”

“do we have to reshoot what we’ve done so far?” you gasp out when denki curls his finger right against your g-spot, sending shockwaves of heat throughout your entire body.

nobody seems to notice the inflection in your voice, and the director offers a small smile.

“no, it’s alright, we’ll just edit everything together before it goes out. you’re both doing great, by the way!” her praise is reassuring, and she hops up onto her chair again, then gestures for the crew members to position the cameras.

“action.”

denki’s lips find yours in a bruising kiss, tongue swiping against your lower lip impatiently. he’s quick to pull you on top of him too, wet fingers tugging up your skirt to give the camera a full view of your soaked panties and ass.

“what about the pancakes?” you ask, remembering the director’s tip about the dialogue. if she were to call cut again, the interruption would surely drive you insane.

“what pancakes?”

“the ones i made for you,” you breathe against his lips, eyes flicking to the bedside table. “over there, with the—”

he takes your distraction as an opportunity to press his face into your neck, taking in the smell of your perfume and the softness of your skin. low and quiet, he whispers into your ear, “fuck, you’ve got no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this—for you.”

you whine as he kicks the bedsheets off his body, firmly placing you atop his hard cock. through your panties and his boxers, you can feel the ridges of his tip and the heat of his body.

“how do you want it?” denki purrs, hands settled on your hips. “from the back . . bent over?”

the options he gives you only ignite the arousal burning in your core further; you move off of him, settling on all fours. the wild look you toss him from over your shoulder makes him groan, and he yanks his underwear and pajama pants off as quickly as he can, hurling them into a corner of the set.

“fuckin’ soaked, baby,” he coos, flipping up your skirt and slipping a few fingers beneath the crotch of your panties. your cunt flutters around nothing as he pulls the underwear off, with enough force for the microphones to pick up the ripping sound that follows. “is this all for me?”

he flings the torn garment off the bed carelessly, and it silently lands somewhere on the carpet.

“o-only for you.”

denki chuckles, and guides his cock toward your entrance, but doesn’t push it in just yet. instead, he strokes the tip up and down, gathering your wetness to provide extra lubrication. the tease has your toes curling and your eyes rolling back; denki gifts your ass with a slap, letting out a low whistle.

“you’ll get what you want soon enough, baby. i just . . feel like something’s missing.”

you look over your shoulder when the bed creaks, your co star’s weight leaving the mattress. he grabs at the drawer of the bedside table, and the glass of orange juice rattles against the silver platter from the movement. even director yaoyorozu looks a little lost for words, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

the drawer slams shut and denki returns to the bed behind you in a flash, a miniature black and white vibrator between his fingers. yaoyorozu settles back into her chair with a contented expression, signaling for the cameraman to zoom in between your bodies.

the soft, rubbery head of the vibrator nudges against your clit and you gasp. denki slants his body over yours, pushing his cock inside of you shallowly.

“i—i don’t think i can t-take all of it,” you swallow nervously, inhaling sharply when he bucks his hips forward and plunges inside you, bottoming out easily.

“that’s fuckin’ nonsense,” he groans, pushing a hand through his blond hair to get it away from his eyes. then it wraps loosely around your throat before you can protest any further. “‘course my girl can take it.”

my girl?

denki startles even himself. but this is the magic of being a pornstar and filming around the clock. he’s built up a persona for himself that he always seems to slip into no matter how he’s feeling. he’s thankful for this; otherwise, he’d be a bumbling fool who’d accidentally fuck your thighs, too caught up with excitement to get it together.

his teeth sink into his lower lip hard, scraping against the skin rather roughly as the words burst from his lips uncontrollably.

“g-god, you’ve got no idea how damn long i’ve been waiting to fuck this pretty pussy,” the vibrator turns on and presses flush against your clit, already at the highest setting. “ngh, you’re so tight, baby—got me all worked up with the little maid dress, heh. you look beautiful in it, i swear.”

his babbling soon falls on deaf ears, and you unintentionally tune him out, unable to hear him clearly over your ragged moans and cries. denki’s hips set a somewhat even pace, skin smacking into skin while the vibrator seems to only get more intense.

“c’mon, babe, arch a lil more for me,” he huffs, his palm nudging against the middle of your back.

with a whine, you do as he instructs, burying your face in the sheets.

“aw, i still wanna hear you clearly.” denki clicks his tongue, his fingers leaving the sides of your throat and instead tugging on your necktie. he turns it backwards and pulls your head back so you’re not muffled any longer.

“f-fuck, you’re so deep,” you sob, his strokes growing faster and rougher. the bed creaks beneath you, shaking loudly, and despite his panting, denki’s determined to give you the best sex you’ll ever have at UA studios.

“yeah, babe? feel my cock right here in your tummy?” denki’s voice is strained, his free hand wandering to the plush skin above your pelvis. he presses down experimentally, and he swears you get tighter.

it’s only a little pressure, but it sends shockwaves of something intense throughout your body and knocks the breath from your lungs.

“ooh, you’re squeezin’ me real tight,” denki comments breathily, “i want you to cum for me, got that?”

“‘m so close,” you sob, tossing your ass back onto his cock. “wanna—wanna cum on your cock!”

this is it. this is the big moment where he makes you cum twice on camera and shows all his friends who can fuck you the best. his mouth feels dry and he’s unable to say much of anything to spur you on, talk you through it.

the noisy metal bedframe squeaks louder, the mattress sliding side to side from all the movement. denki doesn’t let up, biting down on his lip so hard he draws some blood while he fucks you through the exhaustion and pain in his sides.

at last, highly anticipated euphoria courses through your bodies at the same time, and his cock begins to twitch against your cervix. a whiny moan tears from his lips as he spills deep inside you, trembling hands grabbing at your waist for purchase. the vibrator maintains its high setting, not letting up even once—in the moment, it’s amazing to ride the waves as you cum, but as you’re coming down, you begin to shudder away from it.

“hah—ah, shit,” you cry, voice pitching. denki pulls out of you, eyes widening in delight as he looks over your sloppy cunt, drooling with a mixture of your cum and his own. glossy strings of white leak from your hole, sticking to your thighs every time you jerk away from the vibrator. “i-it’s too much.”

“oh, ‘m sorry babe,” the words roll off his tongue, each syllable oozing with faux sympathy. lucky for you, denki clicks the vibrator off and tosses it somewhere in the sheets. you don’t notice him moving to lay on his stomach, too busy trying to catch your breath. “she’s looking messy down there, hm?”

denki’s breath now fans over your wet pussy, his words low and sultry. you look over your shoulder in confusion, sweat shining on your forehead, bitten lips parting to ask a question, but he interrupts.

“i can clean her up for you.”

with that final statement, denki’s tongue presses flat against your slit and he moans, tasting the evidence of what seems to be his best porno yet. he slurps up the mess eagerly, holding you in place by your hips whenever you try to squirm away.

it’s bittersweet, slick pouring down his chin and making his skin shine while his own cum colors his lips white. you can’t do anything but whimper, looking back at him through hooded eyes that well with tears of overstimulation.

“i know, i know,” he mumbles into you when your body jolts, and you suck in a sharp breath. “i jus’ want to make sure you can’t move after this.”

a thorough pussy pounding and now this? there’s no way you’ll be able to stop shaking.

nimble fingers find your swollen clit and give it a light pinch, then gently stroke over it; he thinks the reaction it elicits from you is absolutely delicious—your expression crumbles and you rock your hips back against his face, dragging your cunt all over him.

he’s drunk on your scent and taste, taking as much of you in as he can. director yaoyorozu looks pleased as she whispers something to a member of the film crew, but you don’t even notice her through the sweltering haze of arousal. denki pushes the skirt further up your body, and the resounding sob that leaves your lips has him smiling against your cunt.

against your slit, his silky tongue paints peculiar patterns that your dizzy brain manages to register as the letters of his name. “fuck, ‘m gonna c-cum, ‘s coming—” your fingers tangle in his blonde hair, yanking him into your cunt as the high hits you, toes curling and teeth chattering together.

denki’s eyes roll back as you cum on his face, but then you’re trembling and moving away when the sensitivity finally sets in. your pussy is puffy and twitching, entirely spent for the day.

“woah,” he catches you with an arm when you drop flat on the bed, shuddering with the aftershocks of it all. “you good, baby?”

his lips press into your temple and you nod, huffing as you try to catch your breath. unconsciously, you start to cuddle into him, arms wrapping shakily around his torso.

it’s hard to remember where you are, stars swirling in your vision, but the sight of the microphone a few meters away snaps you back into professional mode. god, you haven’t been this dazed since your early days at shiketsu, where you’d been booking with some of the biggest men at the studio.

“i-i wish i didn’t have to, but,” you huff quietly, slowly raising from the bed to smooth out your dress and then look for your panties. you make a big show of bending over, giving the camera a great view of your quivering, dripping cunt. you swipe the underwear from the carpet with a relieved sigh, turning to face denki, who’s nibbling at his lower lip, already hard again. “i’m not finished cleaning the house yet. maybe i can make you some lunch later, when i’m done?”

the cheeky suggestion has an unintentional effect, denki’s cheeks darkening perfectly for the scene. he nods slowly, caught in a stupor. you blow a kiss toward him, stepping through the fake doorway and off the set.

after a beat of silence, director yaoyorozu calls for a cut. she hops off her tall chair and claps excitedly, while crew members rush to strip the bed and clean up the set. on jelly-like legs, you wobble over to her, standing beside denki with a small smile.

“excellent, the two of you,” she praises, ponytail swishing as she nods. “i’ll update both of your agents once we get this to the editors. hehe, my intuition tells me this’ll do very well.”

you thank her together, before parting your separate ways toward the dressing areas—at least you try to, but denki trails behind you quietly, cheeks still blazing pink.

“kaminari, is everything alright?” you step behind the shoji screen, the makeshift dressing room. without needing to be asked, his fingers find the zipper at your back and he loosens the maid dress for you.

“denki,” he corrects you with an embarrassed laugh, leaning his body against the shoji in an attempt to come across as relaxed. “i wanted to ask you about—”

the shoji screen topples over the moment his weight rests against it, smashing to the floor with a loud bang! you shriek, gathering the dress up around your chest as your co-star rushes to pick it up before anyone can look over. he is unsuccessful, much to your chagrin.

“oh my fucking—i’m so sorry, shit.”

“what is it you wanted to ask, denki?” you ask, embarrassed. it’s like you’re back to square one again, as if you weren’t just doing the nastiest things together less than ten minutes ago. he throws a hand behind his neck, awkwardly scratching the skin as he tries to calm his nerves.

“okay, look. me and a few friends of mine—UA stars—” he adds in that bit in case you need some extra convincing, “are hosting a little get together. i’m thinking maybe you can come and hang out for a little while? i can pick you up, if you—”

“that’s very nice of you.”

the interruption makes his heart drop straight into his ass, and he immediately looks down at his bare feet. but then you speak up, and he feels a spark of hope in his chest. after all, he did promise his friends that he’d introduce you to them.

“i live nearby, i moved apartments to be closer to the studio,” you admit, fingers loosening on the dress. “what time is it? i’d be willing to meet some other stars, get acquainted with everyone.”

denki looks at you, joy written all over his face. he flashes you a bright smile, nodding as he collects his thoughts. “everything starts at eight. i can just pick you up, ‘kay? here, i’ve gotta give you my number.”

you laugh, pushing him back. “i’ve gotta change first, the dress is really itchy. we’ll work it out when i’m done, sound good?”

he steps out from behind the shoji screen after nodding, gold eyes shining. before he can walk away toward his own makeshift dressing room, you stop him, smiling in a way that makes his heart flutter in his chest.

“hey, denki? by the way, i’m really looking forward to tonight.”

[dark-konohagakure2]

imagine succubus!reader lurking in the phantomhive manor to find a victim for the night cause a succubus gets their energy if they take control but ends up getting caught and noncon-ed by sebastian until she cant take it anymore and begs to stop

UGHHH I HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH THIS IDEA SINCE THE DAY I IMAGINED IT 😭😭 petition for more succubus!reader fics 😔

tw: noncon, succubus!reader, size difference, tail pulling, rough sex, overstimulation, humiliation, creampie

All characters depicted are 18+

Sebastian takes his duties as the butler of the Phantomhive household very seriously, so seriously in fact that he doesn't ever sleep, mainly because demons don't need to sleep, but the fact still remains that there is no butler more diligent than Sebastian. His keen senses are able to pick up on the smallest of noises, even the faintest creak of the floorboards won't escape his notice. If a pin dropping doesn't go unnoticed by Sebastian, then there is no way in hell that he won't notice the presence of another hellish entity in his midst.

He is equal parts intrigued and concerned. Sebastian knows he can effortlessly dispatch any threat towards his master, bit even so the thought of another demon being after him is quite concerning. Never one to waste his time dwelling on any worries he might have, Sebastian will quickly do his part as a butler by apprehending the uninvited guest.

It's comically easy for Sebastian, he's not called a devil of a butler for nothing, he's able to use his superior strength to yank the little demon over to him when she's unaware, grabbing her by the pointy tail, which makes her hiss out in pain like a cat. Sebastian likes cats, even the ones with claws, but he sadly can't pet her, not when she's been such a bad girl as to even attempt to endanger his master.

Sebastian knows precisely how to deal with a naughty little succubus like herself, her kind feed off the sexual energy and desires of men, so he'll give her exactly what every succubus wants, he'll give it to her until she's begging him to stop. It's a fitting punishment for the demonic intruder, and it finally gives Sebastian the opportunity to stop feigning his humanity, even if just for a short while.

"Naughty thing, did you truly believe you could intrude oh my master's property without consequence? Oh how adorable~ I'll be sure to give you something to remember before sending you back to our home~"

His eyes are glowing unabashedly now, the glowing red orbs now having a feral intensity to them as he starts teasing the lesser demon, yanking on her tail roughly as he exposes her holes to his hellish gaze, teasing her sensitive pussy lips mercilessly before he decides to have his fill of her. Sebastian hasn't had a good fuck in a while, and certainly never with another demon that was aware of his true nature, so he's going to savor this rare treat.

Being centuries old, Sebastian is well versed in the art of making somebody come undone around his cock, whether they want to or not. His hips will slam against her from behind, his balls slapping against his ass while he fucks her raw, pulling on her tail like a bully pulling on the braids of a girl he likes. Sebastian's cock is long and thick, even in his human form, so it'll ram against her oversensitive womb with every thrust, forcing her into one mind breaking orgasm after the other.

Demons typically can't reproduce with one another, so Sebastian can cum inside of her to his heart's content without a care in the world, and he won't be satisfied with cumming inside of her just once, he's going to breed her until she's begging him to stop, and for hours after that too. It won't take long for her to go from confident and rude to whining and pleading with him to show mercy, but nothing will come of those pleas aside from her receiving even more mockery and even more loads shot into her already overstuffed womb.

He finds her reactions and pleading to be both adorable and pitiful, not to mention ironic; a creature who feeds off of sex now begging him to stop fucking her, her impish pussy overflowing with cum and weakly gripping his cock, fucked loose from the brutal pounding she's getting. He definitely won't be stopping anymore despite her pleas, after all, lesser demons make lovely fucktoys.

"Oh my~ begging already, little one? How sad, your kind usually loves getting ravished so, you truly are a disgrace from all demonkind~! How cute~!"

But alas, he can't keep this adorable little kitten as a house pet as much as he wants to, his young master would never allow such a thing, but Sebastian takes pride in the fact that he successfully subdued another interloper, and she won't mess with him again, that is unless she wants her holes destroyed again.

[brotherwtf]

I submit this and humbly request your imagination of a scenario

wait wait this got me thinking about frat boy/preppy Gale, someone who's a little shit kind of like how Gale is in canon, quick one liners to easily make fun of people all while looking so innocent

John who's kind of shy, doesn't really talk to people and keeps to himself, but he opens up more with his friends, some sort of tutor and that's why he's always in the library when Gale finds him

Gale's failing english, point blank period, and he needs to save his grade or he's going to get kicked out of his frat, so he finds John in the library and asks for his help.

and John's nervous because he has a couple of classes with Gale, knows he can be outright cruel if he wants to be, knows he has a beautiful girl on his arm, so he hates himself even more when he gets those stupid teenage butterflies in his stomach whenever he sees Gale, all cleaned up and proper and Johns already so far gone

but Gale's a sweetheart, always kind and quiet with John and while he sometimes teases him it's all in good fun, and Johns always a blushing mess whenever Gale sits next to him and he almost can't concentrate on the assignment they're working on

sometimes Marge will tag along, offer up some unhelpful commentary, maybe she mentions something about Johns glasses "they do nothing for your face, hun" and when Gale gives her a look she feigns innocence "what? I'm just stating the obvious," and Johns up and leaving, trying not to look behind him and have his heart broken again

the next time John meets with Gale he wears his contacts, he almost doesn't recognize himself in the mirror but maybe Marge was right, maybe they were the problem, and he hates to admit that he wants Gale to like him the way he likes her

and when Gale sees him he looks confused, like he's trying to place something until he asks "where are you glasses, John?"

"I decided to wear contacts, Marge was right they're not doing anything for me" John shrugs and Gale furrows his eyebrows together

"I thought your glasses made you look cute," and OOPS John's a fucking goner because now he can't talk and he's rendered speechless and Gales acting like nothing even happened as he very casually pulls out his book and waits for John to get his wits together so he can actually be doing what he's supposed to

and it keeps going on like this "that sweater makes you look cute" "I really like those pants Bucky" "did you do something different with your hair? it looks good" all while John is secretly telling him to shut up because he can't handle all of the compliments lest Gale wants him to pass away from all of the compliments

Gale says one day that he broke up with Marge, couldn't handle her negativity, says he likes how positive John is, and then it's quiet for a moment, Gale fiddling with the pages of his book, and Johns freaking out before Gale just kisses him on the cheek, smiles with the faintest blush and runs out of the library before John can even say anything

he texts Gale after, asks if everything's all right, and Gale doesn't respond, doesn't respond for a couple of days and John worries that their friendship is ruined, blames himself for all of it even though Gale technically kissed him first

he's walking back to his dorm one night when he hears someone call his name, and he turns to find Gale running after him, panting and looking like he just ran across campus

"John, I'm really sorry, but I gotta tell you something. I like you, like I like you a lot, and I'm sorry if kissing you fucked up our friendship, you don't ever have to talk to me again, I just felt like I had to say something before you left," Gale confesses, and it's like John was hit with a fire hose

and he can't quite help himself, doesnt know what happened or what came over him, but he grabs Gale's face and kisses him, almost desperately, and he can feel Gale smile into the kiss, hates but doesn't hate how much he loves how it feels to finally kiss him, after so many hours of quietly watching him, it feels so good

anyway I have this sweet hc where Gale just lifts John's glasses whenever he wants to smush his face against John's, pulls them off so he can sloppily make out with him and I just think that's neat :))

[toxicanonymity]

My dearest toxic, I would simply do anything for a NW blurb. On top of the election I'm having one of the worst weeks I've had in awhile tbh. I saw you were doing blurbs/requests and figured I would throw my hat into the ring 🙃 as always, you're the best and deserve all the love and accolades 🖤

tired

JOEL x READER | 1k | NIGHT WALKS AU

You don't have to know Night Walks, but if you care about the timeline: After Menace, before Late Night Dip.

NOTES: I’m so sorry for your week, bestie. Ty for your kind words. I hope he can help some of y'all a little bit. Love you 🖤

WARNINGS: 18+ blog. Unspecified source of angst, crying, comfort, soft but it also gets a little horny.

When you got home, your throat was sore from trying not to cry. You put on your PJs, went outside, and unscrewed the floodlight to be in the dark. Seated on a cheap plastic chair, you looked at the joint and lighter in your hand and didn’t even have the energy. You set them down, bent forward, and buried your face in your hands. Warm tears coated your fingers. Your throat untied itself, your chest opened up, and, physically at least, you felt some relief.

Then a light turned on in an upstairs window. Worried that you were louder than you realized, you got up to take a walk so you wouldn’t have to talk about it.

The thing was, you didn’t really have the energy to walk either. You shuffled along, until you got to the pool. It was as good a place as any to stop. The frogs and crickets made it a comfortable silence. You stood outside the fence with your forearms resting on top of it, doubled over.

By the time a twig snapped behind you, you must have been ugly crying.

Your skin prickled until his smooth, deep voice sliced through the tension. “Wanna talk about it?”

When you didn’t answer, you heard and felt him come closer. Joel was like a furnace, and the heat reached you without contact. When you didn’t answer him, he joined you against the fence, both of you looking toward the pool. His hand was resting a few inches away from your elbow.

“Hmm?” He prodded.

You shook your head, sniffled, and dabbed your eyes. “You wouldn’t get it,” you told him.

“Maybe not,” he conceded. “But I still got ears.”

“I’m okay,” you lied.

He answered, “Don’t have to be,” then laid his big, warm hand on your back and it brought a crescendo of emotion. Grief, gratefulness for him, and guilt for selling him short. He was more than a sleaze, he just didn’t tend to show it.

He rubbed your back as you took ragged breaths and tried to stop, then he got closer.

“It’s not just–it’s everything,” you sniffled. “It’s a lot.”

He kept rubbing slow circles on your back for a minute. Then, with a lighter tone, he offered,

“Who do I gotta fight?”

“You don’t seem like the fighting type,” you replied, then finally looked at him.

“I can be,” he cocked an eyebrow, and faced you with one hand still on your back. Your eyes settled on his strong pecs and biceps stretching his tee. And yeah, he could’ve been a fighter for all you knew. He could for sure fuck someone up. The small tattoos you saw in the shower crossed your mind. Then your thoughts drifted to the rest of him.

“I’ll be anything ya want, pumpkin,” he murmured as he got behind you and moved his hand to your hip. He thumbed the waistband of your bottoms and chuckled. You were dressed alike.

He nosed your hair and inhaled deeply as he wrapped his arms around you. You kept your arms resting on the pool fence, but your body relaxed into his embrace. He held you, with his feet bracketing yours. For the first time all week, you felt safe on some level. And not so alone.

It was the first time he’d hugged you like this. Holding you without a hard-on poking you, and–yeah, nope–there it was.

Not raging, but it twitched and made itself known.

He dipped his head and murmured into your neck, “Let’s go have a beer, watch a movie or somethin’," and his hips pushed forward, making you throb. But at the same time, you tensed at an assumption that he had expectations all along.

“Yeah, I know,” he acknowledged, without backing away. “Too damn hot, pumpkin. I just wanna hold ya, now I got two things in the way.”

“Two things?”

“That fine ass and this cock.”

You had been enjoying the softer side of him, but the harder side sure did make you tingle.

“I just wanna rest,” you answered.

“We'll just rest, then,” he replied. “We can just sleep if ya want. Can’t promise I'll behave in the *mornin’*, but…”

“Feels good out here,” you said.

“Alright pumpkin,” he agreed. “We’ll stay here a while.” Then he asked with light-hearted skepticism, “Feel good against this fence?”

His arms relaxed around you, then fell away.

You felt cold as he stepped aside, but he took your hand and gently pulled you to the pool gate. He reached his free hand over and unlocked it. The metal creaked as he pushed it open.

“C’mon,” he led you in, all the way to the edge of the pool. He dropped your hand to roll up his pj pants, then while he was down there, he rolled yours up, too. You both slipped of your sandals. “Sometimes I just look at the water….all lit up. Speakin’ of,” he reached in his pocket and showed you a joint.

“Not now,” you answered, and he tucked it behind his ear as he sat down on the edge.

You sat down an inch or two away from him, and he scooted over to close the gap. He placed his hand on the back of your head and you leaned into him. He put his arm around you. “Ya know pumpkin… it’s gonna be okay.” Your throat tightened again. He continued, ”There’s been times I thought it wouldn’t. But it always got better.”

You both watched the light patterns dance in the water, and he added, “Might’a taken time, but it did.”

“I dunno,” you sniffled.

He rubbed your arm and said, “Well, you’re not alone, anyway.”

And you couldn't help but laugh, “yeah I've noticed.”

--------

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Thank you for reading 💙🫂

[ankoluvly]

how likely are the Slytherin boys to be toxic?

Characters: Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle

Cw: Toxic relationships of course

- ♡ 𝒟𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑜 𝑀𝒶𝓁𝒻𝑜𝓎 ( 6.5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Draco is definitely an asshole in the earlier movies and i don’t feel like his attitude would just magically change to drastically. He’s still stuck up.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d be more on the possessive side of abusive. he can be sweet and kind to you, but at the same time he gives you almost no freedom and tries controlling your everyday.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll demand to know where you are 24/7 and expects you to tell him everything. He gives death glares to any of your guy friends and so on.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . And don’t get me started on manipulation. he’s the KING of manipulation. he’d make you think that all your worries are just in your head. Or he’d make you think it’s your fault and you’re the problem.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d act all sweet and make little jokes that you’re to oblivious to pick up on.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I own you, don’t i sweetheart?

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “All i do is try to care for you and you get all stuck up with me. Now is that fair dear? All i am is concerned.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Why is everything always my fault? can’t you understand that there’s the possibility of a war right around the corner?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You get with me knowing who i am, then try to change who i am. You don’t see a problem with that?”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝐿𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓏𝑜 𝐵𝑒𝓇𝓀𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝑒 ( 9/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My baby Lorenzo is definitely bipolar. You’ll have a few months, or days, or weeks, of peace.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ‘The calm before the storm’

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Lorenzo’s the mind fuck type. He’d most likely only ever lay hands on you in bed, in a kinky way. He just love’s to let out random shit that gets you mad.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Also a possessive type. But unlike Draco, he doesn’t care about your self respect. Threaten to break up with him? one of your nudes with just your face blurred out is sent ‘round the school. Or maybe he’ll pay some random guy to pretend to be into you just to fuck with you mentally.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . During arguments it’s insult galore.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Now he’s not always just calm, if he feels you’re gone for good he pulls out the manipulation.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll find a way to ruin every aspect of your love life while manipulating you into thinking he’s changed, he’ll show up to your house with flowers and ‘sad’ eyes: “I’m so sorry baby, please, let’s start over. I love you so much and i just don’t know how to express it, i promise i’ll do better. I’d do anything for you love.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You’re such a sweetheart hun,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Break up with me? hm… didn’t you say that ten different times in the past, but you’re still here?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “If you’re gonna act like a slut i might as well treat you like one.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Really? well i thought you would’ve loved for them to see you half naked with how much you were eating up their attention last night.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Please sweetie, You know i was just mad. Nobody loves you like i do.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “We’re bad for eachother, that’s what make us.. well, us.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝒵𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓃𝒾 ( 4/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My mans mother raised him right.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s such a gentlemen.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He may be a little passive aggressive when upset but overall he knows how to keep his cool. His cold exterior would warm up when it comes to a women, not wanting to make them uncomfortable or feel like a nuisance.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But just because he respects women doesn’t mean he’s a push over, if you’re a bitch he’ll probably just leave you.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The most he’ll be ‘toxic’ is just sometimes being a little over jealous and sometimes little insults fall past his lips.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The best example being when you finally saw one of your long-term friends and you three had dinner (courtesy of Blaise) just for you guys to get in the car after and he’s all moody. He can be a bit of a drama queen at times.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Honestly he’s just so loving most of the time <3

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You ok?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Well if you like him so much maybe you should go home with him instead?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m not mad just… disappointed.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Perhaps we should both just leave each other alone for awhile and calm down.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝒯𝑜𝓂 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 10/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Is anyone surprised? It’s Tom Riddle we’re talking about.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He likes a woman that’ll have an attitude with others, but you better get rid of that attitude when talking to him.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s a silent guy, so it’s easy to take advantage of that and flirt with other guys etc. But there’ll be hell to pay after.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s not the type to beg for you to stay with him if you want to break up, because he simply won’t let you go. if he has to tie you down to the bed he will.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He doesn’t care much for your comfort. He’s willing to use you for his plans if he feels it’ll be beneficial. If a guys acting like a creep he still expects you to keep up your act.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Depending on your house, he won’t bother to hide his disgust in himself that he fell for you (especially if you’re a hufflepuff). He won’t even be ashamed about hiding your relationship while the two of you are still at Hogwarts.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He fucks with you by how neutral he always seems. He can say that most hurtful shit to you but have little emotion, as if he was just stating a casual everyday fact.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You can and Will take it.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “But i didn’t ask you if you wanted to, did i? now go.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You should be glad i’ve kept you alive. If it weren’t for the fact you’re useful, You would be long dead, ‘hufflepuff’.” (because we all know Mr. Tom Riddle doesn’t admit to loving someone)

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seems you’ve gotten a little carried away,” *Definitely grabbing you by your face aggressively.* “You can talk to others that way but don’t think you can speak to me, your superior, that way. Be grateful for once.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝑜𝒹𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝓉 ( 5.5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Theo doesn’t necessarily seem like the intentionally toxic type, but he’s like one of those guys that are too ‘nonchalant’.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d unintentionally come off as bored or cold when you two would be doing something or you try talking to him. Or when you’re trying to get on his nerves but he has almost no reaction.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d unintentionally make you doubt your two’s relationship even if he’s happy with it. Which, from personal experience, fucking sucks.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But if you tried talking to him i feel it may depend on his mood, but overall i think he’d take what you said to heart. However still struggle to really change.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . At the end of the day it’s on your preference and if you can deal with a relationship like that or not.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Hah ha very funny,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m going out with Blaise, maybe later?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Yeah it’s cool.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon sweetheart, you know it’s not like that.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’ll work on it, promise.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝑀𝒶𝓉𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑜 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Mattheo isn’t the type to really be toxic when in a relationship. He’s the type of guy that wouldn’t get in a relationship with someone he doesn’t like. If he just thinks they’re hot he’d hook up with them, no need to get in some committed relationship.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Although he is cocky, and his cocky attitude tends to strain some of his relationships. Though it’s all in light fun, not everyone can deal with it.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He also has a bad habit of not working on his negative traits. Which would also strain your relationship. When you mention any of his negative traits(But can this man have any?) he’d get defensive instead of trying to understand where you’re coming from.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . So like Theo, i feel like it’d depend on your personality and what bothers you. Overall he’d be a pretty lovey boyfriend.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I would be happy too. Dating *The* Mattheo riddle,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon you know you love me,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . *In some goofy mocking tone* “Why so serious?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seriously? you’re being overdramatic and you know it.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “That’s whats got your panties in such a twist? seriously?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Written by ankoluvly, 2024 on tumblr!

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Just wanted to write and post something quickly because i feel shitty not posting anything.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I wrote this before bed then lazily proof-read it in the morning, so sorry about spelling mistakes.

[chameleonwritess]

Incoming essay about Yuzuru Fushimi and why I believe he is the least normal Ensemble Stars character

Before we begin, I’d like to thank @normalestenstars both for giving me the motivation to actually write this at last, and for the polls that have allowed me to ponder over the normality of each enstars character, along with how normality would even be gauged. I’m aware that the concept will have differed from person to person, and so I’ll attempt to explain my metric of normality in order to explain why, say, Kanata, Wataru, or HiMERU aren’t my ‘least normal’ character (okay, what is it with blue hair and insanity in enstars, bc Tatsumi is kinda making the most insane list too). I'll also put the essay under the cut because... it got long. But if you wanna learn about Yuzuru, you came to the right place!

I was judging normality to be a combination of life experiences through from childhood to adulthood, behaviour, current responsibilities and activities, ways of reacting to situations, ways of interacting with the world, mental headspace and its subsequent projections, and any juxtapositions between those- particularly with regards to internal and external worlds of a character (this might not make any sense… it made sense to me but I’m hardly a most normal character myself).

First up, as Kanata was dubbed the audience voted least normal, I’ll touch  briefly on which specific aspect differed here between Kanata and Yuzuru that made me choose Yuzuru over Kanata. Both by the general audience and by the characters within the world of Ensemble Stars, Kanata is perceived as weird and strange, and his backstory explains that weirdness very well… perfectly well, basically. Of course he’s weird and outlandish given he grew up believing he was a living god. Meanwhile, Yuzuru is deemed as pretty normal by both characters and the general audience. At least on the surface! The amount of enstars fans I’ve heard call Yuzuru boring just confirms this, really. Who would ever dream of calling Kanata boring? But the characters who know Yuzuru better, or for those who finally get to interact with him more than very surface level, they suddenly uncover that oh shit hang on this guy is TERRIFYING and INSANE and what the actual FUCK IS GOING ON??? (See: Resort Live when Adonis is in the water and when Yuzuru dives to fetch him he felt like he was being followed by a wild carnivore and was confused as to how the hell Yuzuru had hidden that kind of aura up until now). Love how I said brief and then reached this length BUT essentially it’s the juxtaposition of Yuzuru’s external perception versus his actual reality that puts him on top of the weirdness ladder for me. Kanata’s weirdness is very in line with his history, giving him an aspect of normality, or at least expectedness, in my opinion (I’m in no way denying that Kanata is NOT NORMAL, though, don’t worry. My only actual denial of any not normal allocations is Wataru… but we’ll get to that in another essay xoxo)

RIGHT now let’s start with the Yuzuru focus. We’re gonna go back to his past to begin with. And no, I don’t mean the military camp, actually (although the very fact I just said those words should hopefully be clueing you in to Yuzuru’s abnormality). I’ll leave a list at the end of this of all the stories I got my facts from, as well as some key Yuzuru focussed readings if you want to learn more hehe. Saying that, I talk about Yuzuru’s past pre-military because it starts off as a wild backstory even before we get to the slightly more unhinged stuff. He was born into a family of butlers, and thus was fated to work for the Himemiyas and serve them… WHAT???? Yuzuru’s family are essentially slaves, and we know next to nothing about his parents. So many enstars characters are highlighted for having abusive families as an aspect of their abnormality and the weirdness with which they were raised, but yuzuru never gets brought up amongst those. How does this scenario even happen in the modern world???? I am SO CONFUSED and we have basically no answers. Does Yuzuru get paid?????? He’s been a butler since he was BORN so… probably not?? Is he essentially a slave???????? I suspect maybe!! We already know the Himemiyas are NOT EXACTLY THE EPITOME OF MORAL CORRECTNESS (see: they run an orphanage that filters into a fucking military training facility) so I would not put it past them. So- backstory and utter weird environment to be raised in? CHECK!!!! Yuzuru might have been raised in the weirdest environment out of all enstars characters except perhaps Kanata. Or joint weirdest WITH Kanata!! He grew up being trained to be perfect and to be entirely subservient. He had no interaction with peers, no downtime, doesn’t even have his own house given he lives at the Himemiya’s mansion. It’s absolutely insane if you stop and think about it for more than five seconds, and no one ever seems to talk about it??? Yuzuru Fushimi, man.

And we don’t know much about Yuzuru during this time (probably for good reason- he is cagey about anything that makes it look like he doesn’t enjoy his role and boy does this time include those feelings!), but we do know from Tori that he was not naturally talented at being a butler, would make loads of mistakes, and would hide in the shadows and cry over it. Yuzuru was just a KID. He’s only one year older than Tori, but he was expected to perfectly master pretty much every skill ever. He’s way too over-competent at seemingly everything, and as easy as that is to attribute to the military training…. a lot of stuff doesn’t make sense for that. He was trained to do e v e r y t h i n g. Child abuse, yay!! That’s essentially what it is when you think about it!! Were his parents trapped like this too?? How did his parents meet?? Are they the ones trapping him in this role, or is it the Himemiyas??? Because Yuzuru certainly seems to believe that his parents hold the authority, but idk how much of that is a biased perspective from what Yuzuru saw and knew as a child.

Okay. I think I’ve set the scene for why Yuzuru is insane and weird as fuck. I’d also like to give a brief breather from the agonising lore (bc it’s military time next) to let you all know that I’m writing this whilst desperately smacking auto-live bc I’m grinding for Ghostic Treat House Yuzuru <3 fine I love you <3

That’s all the reprise you get, trauma time again! So, you’re probably aware if you only watched the enstars anime to gain familiarity with ! era lore that Yuzuru spent time at a military facility with his good childhood friend Ibara (he would stab me for saying that lol). But that’s not all! So yes, Yuzuru was sent to the Himemiya’s military facility, where they were actually trained for wars, given the Himemiya’s army are actively fighting ppl during the events of Primavera (lol so much for me saving references to the end). Did Ibara and Yuzuru actually see the battlefield? Textual evidence would suggest perhaps, because Ibara mentions it being funny how a man who can face enemy forces alone is afraid of dogs. But that could be a metaphor and it may have just been training. Either way, definitely had to learn battle relevant skills and were given brutal training. But that’s still not all! From what we can gather from Yuzuru’s internal musings (although he is a somewhat unreliable narrator like 50% of the time tbh), he was sent to the military facility to learn better discipline so he’d stop acting up and play the role of a butler properly. This, combined with the crying when he messed up, gives two plausible reasons for him being sent. 1. he was considered too incompetent and the military was supposed to train him to be more competent as a butler, or 2. he was acting out big style and they wanted to quite literally beat him into submission so he’d treat his role more seriously. There is a scarier third possibility here, but that’s coming hehe don’t worry (: 

What happened when Yuzuru got to the military? Because so far yeah this is a wild situation but it doesn’t highlight Yuzuru’s utter insanity quite as well as I advertised. Ohohoho, don’t worry. Yuzuru was somehow so naturally gifted at being in the fucking military (whilst not being naturally gifted at being a butler, I remind you all!!) that he rose up to leadership and became an instructor IMMEDIATELY. He was in charge of Ibara, and assumably other people too, despite being the same age as him (and quite probably younger than others). Is it possible he rose through the ranks because of his status? No not really. He’s a butler to the Himemiyas, not an actual family member!! And he’s essentially been cast out by them, so why would they care?? It’s also implied and makes all Yuzuru lore add up if he was just… incredibly and terrifyingly talented with weaponry, fighting, tactics, etc etc don’t ask me what military things are important i don’t know. So I’m choosing to believe that the lore all checks out and that Yuzuru was made an instructor because he was freakishly good. Now about his role as an instructor!! 

Most of our info does come from Ibara which is… likely to be negatively biased, but we also have actual flashback scenes which legitimately support Ibara’s perception. Which was, in short, that Yuzuru’s training was spartan. He was harsh and ruthless and ruled with an iron fist… but he also genuinely cared about his pupils (and again, we infer that he had multiple bc he calls Ibara his favourite pupil. Although funny if he’s his fave by default lmao). The military is also the first time Yuzuru gets the chance to be a kid, which is ironic given he is AN INSTRUCTOR IN THE MILITARY. But he gets the chance to sit and talk with Ibara in between training and attempting to murder each other (which is like the closest thing to playing tag that Yuzuru has ever participated in, I reckon). I could write a separate essay about how important Ibara and Yuzuru are to each other, but that’s for another day (pls pls pls ask me to write it pls i just need the excuse). 

We find out some interesting things from Yuzuru’s conversations with Ibara. He hopes to die on the battlefield to show his parents (haha remember that scary third option…. what if this was their plan HAHAHAH). He wants to die out of spite, and he wants to die for the freedom. He hopes he never has to return and be a butler again. He feels free at the military camp, which is ironic given the intent was to trap him there to teach him a lesson. It’s also ironic, given both Ibara and Yuzuru refer to the training camp as an awful, horrible place. 

That definitely isn’t the end of me talking about Yuzuru and military experience, but it is the end of it in this linear fashion I’m taking to explain why Yuzuru is so fucked up and weird and insane.

So, he returns from the military! Read: he is forcibly taken back to the Himemiya mansion. And when he returns, Tori cries and hugs him and begs him to never leave again because he was so lonely without Yuzuru and scared etc etc. And we know that Yuzuru looked at him crying and decided that actually, this was something worth treasuring and putting his life towards. Tori was worth serving- he cared about Tori and wanted to protect him, and he had the abilities now (and probably always) to do exactly that. Was this inspired by Ibara saying he just wanted something to treasure and dedicate his life towards keeping/obtaining? Yep!!! Same story!!! Yuzuru took Ibara’s goal and went ‘snatched, mine now’ but fr… they had such an impact on each other. So, Yuzuru is ‘happily’ being a butler now. In other words, he’s taking his fate and making it his decision, as much as he can (or probably to convince himself hmmm). But where’s the insanity here, before we reach idol time? Well, here we discover that Yuzuru contemplates murdering Tori multiple times!! As a means of escape? As a reflexive urge to kill that he’s developed/been suppressing all along? Who knows! I still can’t quite believe that this is even canon but yeah!!! It’s not always a joke when Yuzuru says scary things to Tori and threatens him with weapons! He has legitimately contemplated murdering him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuzuru Fucking Fushimi, folks!!!!!!!!

This section is also where I’d like to discuss Yuzuru’s fear of dogs, because he also had to acquaint himself with King (Tori’s dog) during these years. Do you know the reason why Yuzuru’s afraid of dogs? I hear you ask, because I am inside your walls rn. Was there an incident? At the Himemiya’s? At the military camp? No!!! Tori says he’s literally always been afraid of dogs, and Yuzuru confirms this and gives us an explanation as to why! He says that dogs are inherently ferocious hunters- killers at heart- and yet they wear an innocent, harmless mask of being ‘man’s best friend’, covering up the human lives they have taken and are easily capable of taking at the smallest provocation. He fears dogs because he fears their true nature that they’re hiding behind their perceived harmlessness. They’ve masked their bloodlust with domestic obedience- a facade many dogs have tricked themselves into understanding as reality. When I thought about Yuzuru’s explanation for about five minutes before I started this essay, it suddenly slid into place in a way I’d never studied Yuzuru’s fear of dogs before.

Yuzuru fears himself. This checks out with the dog metaphors he makes of himself, of Ibara, that Ibara makes about Yuzuru and of himself. Obedient lapdog, untrained mutt, guard dog etc. etc. The parallels were right there. Yuzuru is an obedient lapdog for Tori… but he’s a predator by nature. A born killing machine whom everyone trusts without hesitation because of the loyal and obedient facade he parades, convincing even himself is reality. Yuzuru is afraid of the hunter he is and when his true nature might escape. I don’t read it as a ‘being afraid of when others will find out that he’s secretly evil’ sort of situation. More a ‘being afraid of when he won’t be able to stop himself & the mask will disintegrate forever and reveal the hunter within. Being afraid of when he might attack’. Ouch. Yuzuru can I give you therapy pls I’m begging. ANYWAY Tori then gets into idols and Yuzuru is dragged along to fine shows, and when Eichi sees him in the audience (ignoring the fact that his first thought is ‘damn that bitch fine as fuck, i love a guy with blue hair purple eyes and a ponytail, smash’), he says Yuzuru looks wild and rugged (i’m going off memory I cba getting Daydream up just trust xoxo), which is interesting given he’s trying his best to be a loyal butler right now. He’s not quite mastered the mask at this point, I suspect. Other things we know from this era are that Yuzuru helped sneak Tori out to go to karaoke as idol practice. I wonder how he felt getting to sing and dance for the first time.

Fun fact in case you hadn’t noticed by now- I’m not very good at staying on topic bc I loooove to go on random tangents of character analysis. I swear this is still about how Yuzuru is the weirdest enstars character… somehow….

So! We’ve finally reached canon timeline in the chronological part of this essay (HOW LONG IS THIS THING GONNA BE?? I hear you worry because, once again, i am in your walls). Yuzuru joins fine yayyy and he’s a transfer student to Yumenosaki given he’s just following Tori. So… did he even go to school before??? Given he has to follow Tori??? Did he take a year out? I’’m so curious as to Yuzuru’s history because how tf did his childhood work? He passes the fine test easily bc turns out he’s also very naturally talented as an idol. He’s very physically fit so it’s unsurprising. What’s sooo fun to know about his joining fine, though, is that he immediately knows exactly what Eichi is like, immediately gets links with the StuCo and joins Keito’s club to get In There with the top people (networking innit and also… club with bow and arrows. Tsukasa confirms he’s freakishly good wow who would’ve guessed Yuzuru would be so naturally talented with a weapon), and apparently immediately developed an escape plan for him and Tori so that if Eichi ever tried to destroy them, he could take Tori and dip. I wonder if that escape plan is still in place, now! Anyway, we also learn in this era that Yuzuru starts to love being an idol and finds he’s genuinely enjoying it. However, the reasons he’s enjoying it are… not exactly normal. He loves being an idol because he’s surprised that it’s able to spur the human emotions of anger and frustration within him (basically, he’s surprised that being an idol brought out his painstakingly buried emotions). We also learn that he’s extremely envious that Tori and Eichi were able to escape their fates laid out by their parents to pursue being idols, but he immediately tries to suppress thoughts like this. The difference between having money and not, huh? Tori and Eichi could escape. Yuzuru was always going to be trapped :( Yuzuru also starts to experience having friends for the first time (does Ibara count as a friend?? It was way wilder and more insane than that) so essentially Yuzuru’s first ever experience of normal teenager things is when he is 16/17. But at least he gets to have a pillow fight and absolutely destroy everyone! And get yelled at by a teacher!! Proud of him for having fun. 

This era is also where we get Yuzuru completely lying to himself, us, and his peers. Everyone is quite conscious of getting Yuzuru to enjoy his life outside of being Tori’s butler, and he’s very much manipulated everyone (including the audience even though we can compile the evidence to discover otherwise) into believing that he’s always been such a loyal and simple butler with no thoughts of his own aside from those that are wishes to serve his master. We know this isn’t true… and yet Yuzuru tries to convince us and everyone in the story that this is reality, to the point that we get people being proud of Yuzuru for coming so far. We get Tori being proud of him! And feeling guilty for him always sacrificing his life for him. Ugh I love Tori actually. The second I started reading stories about Tori and Yuzuru it hit how much guilt Tori has over Yuzuru’s fate and AGHHHH oops I got sidetracked again. Anyway. Yuzuru’s an unreliable narrator and that’s important to his weirdness, because he hides his true utter insanity from even us as the audience!! He lies to himself, to us, to his peers, everyone!!! You cannot fool me, Yuzuru Fushimi. I see through you. I’ve figured out your utter unhingedness. The complete juxtaposition between the very ordinary bland background character you depict yourself as versus the utter fucking WEIRDO that you actually are <3

Moving onto !! era, Yuzuru introduces himself in the main story by being INSANE and everyone seems to forget about it? The first thing he does is discuss how beneficial it is to show up first to important events and prepare the drinks because you gain the upper hand of knowing you could’ve poisoned them and everyone knows you could have, but that he’d never do that because everyone would indeed know it was him. And that’s one of the joys of being a butler! HELLO??? YUZURU WTF BABE????? But that’s always just glanced over. Also there’s the whole insanity of Eichi reminding us that Ibara is the only person whom Yuzuru shows this other side of himself around, and by that we mean the side where he… openly threatens extreme physical violence. Also frontline watchdogs happens. And we learn that Yuzuru still very obviously cares about Ibara gahhh. Anyway, back to insanity time, Wataei are kinda mean to Yuzuru in this era, because they do end up toying with him quite a bit, and we get a lot of Yuzuru dealing with thoughts regarding the Himemiyas and the impact of ES and stuff, because he can’t even just be an idol, he’s also essentially in charge of Tori’s responsibilities until Tori is ready, AND he’s becoming an actor because wow how surprising he’s really good at fighting roles and getting into character (sarcasm, bc… it is not surprising. hey who wants to hear me scream into a forest about wataru and yuzuru and facades it’ll be super fun I promise). Other insane stuff includes the time Yuzuru thinks Ibara is holding Tori hostage so he walks into a room and straight up STRANGLES IBARA because he knows how Ibara responds to being tortured for info so knows he’ll get the truth here. He also proceeds to reveal he’s learnt vocal mimicry from Wataru and will fuck shit up if Ibara tries anything using that trick (how did he learn that???? Plus Wataru is cagey about teaching new skills so it is either an omg yay wataru and yuzuru getting close moment or a…. yuzuru did you just analyse his ability and somehow replicate it??). Also in this era, we learn that Yuzuru accompanies Eichi with a lot of business related things, because of course he gets to be involved in the big ES happenings, and that he’s become wayyy more petty and rude to Eichi. It’s a big step for Yuzuru, who’s been forced to be so polite to his superiors. Like can you believe it. The Himemiyas’ butler being rude and passive aggressive and turning down THE Eichi Tenshouin?? He’s wild for that, but he knows Eichi well enough to know he’s safe because Eichi loves it. Yuzuru is so good at reading people. Oh yeah the other !! era moment I was going to mention was the time he took both Adonis and Hiiro in a fight. Canonically strong guys with training in martial arts/defensive techniques. And he legit scared Hiiro with how suddenly his demeanour changed from passive butler to ‘don’t hold back on me >:)’ oooo I love the utter thrill he always gets when he can go all out and attack people!! He’s so fucked up!!

And now on the theme of that, we have !!! era, because pretty much all he’s done since this new era began is fight people. In his cross scout with Kaoru, he gets disappointed in himself when Nagisa outruns him. It’s interesting to note that despite the lack of practice of his abilities Yuzuru gets outside of situations often purposefully set up so he can fight (usually by Eichi and/or Wataru like the incident in Fist of Idol Togenkyo), he still assumes himself to be… the best at any sort of combat out of everyone in his current environment. Do you know what I would give to see Yuzuru and Kuro fight??? I would LOVE to witness it, but I know neither of them would be willing to go all out on each other :(. So when Nagisa ends up out-running/outmanoeuvring him, he’s peeved. Like it’s not a surprise given Nagisa is genetically created to be The Best at Everything, but damn, how highly does Yuzuru think of his own combat abilities? It never really hit me until this point. Not only is he trained at combat, but he very much thinks/knows he’s good at it, and essentially takes pride in that fact? He’s such an interesting critter. Then we have the shuffle unit, too, where Yuzuru gets to go all out and apprehend a thief and he VISIBLY has fun doing it, as well as internally discussing as much. But we also have textual proof from someone else (a random director) that Yuzuru’s ‘snap’ is a thing. He can switch between this polite, passive butler and a bloodthirsty beast in SECONDS, and the joy he feels from being a vicious hunter is probably palpable. Other people can see him essentially change mask at the flip of a switch and become someone else entirely, and it’s wild. The fact Niki is the other person who does this is also beautiful because Niki in hunger mode is also a terrifying bloodthirsty beast. Can’t believe he won most normal, even with CrazyB being CrazyB.

I’ve finally covered somewhat of a chronological series of events for Yuzuru’s character that have led to the juicy stuff of why I view him as the straight up weirdest and least normal character. Whilst that was a lot of character analysis to do with who he is at his core, as well as his background and where he’s at mentally and in terms of progression in the story, now is for a beautiful collection of utterly unhinged things he’s said/done that make me go ‘what the FUCK Yuzuru’. Which, admittedly, I do a LOT. 

he MCs for the new year live featuring Trickstar and Akatsuki and decides to fuck around with Keito because he looks too serious. He then gets drunk on the joy of fucking with Keito and just keeps screwing with the scoring system and everything whilst Keito is seething with the betrayal

he used to genuinely think his drawings were lovely, but then according to others they looked like ‘horrifying yokai thirsting for blood’, ‘vegetables committing cannibalism’ or just ‘makes [them] anxious looking at it’ so wtf is actually wrong with his perception???

has said he feels the urge to kill Tori sometimes, but ‘a true gentleman suppresses his anger’…. JUST SIT WITH THAT ONE FOR A WHILE

He’s said he wants to dissect Wataru… medically… bc of his stamina levels

He’s also threatened to take Wataru to a secluded area and cut off each of his fingers with a bradawl. YUZURU??????

Nagisa is surprised at his dexterity when he very competently ties Jun to a pillar

He cleans ES and Yumenosaki in secret because he doesn’t trust other people to do it right. Not the most insane thing ever but it adds to his issues. Also cleaning is his favourite thing to do. Cleaning. This man has a body count and I mean in the murder sense

He loves to draw even though he’s shit at it. It’s just really funny to me that he’s very dexterous and talented at pretty much everything except the one hobby he wants to have

He can pilot a helicopter- only he and Madara are known to be capable of this

He’s the best at archery and at using firearms in Yumenosaki. And most likely ES. But he’s careful not to show off his talent and ‘true nature’ because he’s an idol and doesn’t want to scare people off

He has abs. Multiple characters have commented on this. Koga has felt them up

When he gets lost in thought he tightens his grip ridiculously tight. Figured this out due to him subconsciously tightening his grip on both Ibara’s neck during SS and Tori’s clothes during Resort Live

He speaks overly politely, but with the exact same dialect as Ibara which- i’m gonna lose my linguist status for the way I’m about to butcher this- from what I can gather is easy to interpret in a rude and sharp/passive aggressive tone. I’m going off characters who say Ibara and Yuzuru speak exactly the same, and the way Rei and Eichi highlight how Yuzuru says polite words but they’re very rude and barbed despite the politeness

His dancing is sharp and impeccable and his physical abilities are apparently ridiculously impressive, far above what would ever be expected of a butler (who’s surprised?)

His administrative abilities are incredible because he’s just overall a freakish genius apparently

He can completely hide his presence. He managed to scare Nagisa during the recent Halloween event and Nagisa is a very literal freak of nature who has been lab made to be a perfect specimen with like every skill ever soooooo terrifyingly impressive imo

Now, to conclude this insanity is my main point as to why Yuzuru takes the cake as the most insane enstars character to me. And whilst yes it’s obvious from all of this that he’s absolutely batshit insane, so are many other characters, but the reason my vote goes to Yuzuru over anyone else is because of the disparity between his public perception vs. who he is. And I mean both in game and out of game. I asked my lovely partner whose biggest flaw is not giving a flying fuck about my beloved Yuzuru Fushimi no matter how many times I yell about him what their opinion was of Yuzuru prior to knowing my insanity about him. I’d like to highlight that my partner is a big fan of Ibara, so knew about Yuzuru’s backstory at least, but was otherwise oblivious to most fine lore outside the main story, being a CrazyBP. My girlfriend said that, to them, Yuzuru was just a mild mannered butler who doesn’t come across as a big personality, especially next to the rest of fine. She said he’s very overshadowed when you have 2 characters very in-your-face personality wise and Eichi Fucking Tenshouin in your unit. Further thoughts were that whilst some characters you can soak up information of via osmosis, Yuzuru isn’t one of them.

And this was INSANE to me. Because how is it possible to be an Ibara fan and a NikiP who loves Niki’s kitchen and somehow no Yuzuru lore has seeped into your awareness???? And this is what makes me go oh yeah. Yuzuru is the least normal character from a character perspective as well as within the narrative. How do you write a character THIS INSANE with this many unhinged things being said and done in pretty much any story he shows up in, but the fandom who don’t pay attention to him just,,, completely miss it all and view him EXACTLY AS HE TRIES TO PRESENT HIMSELF TO OTHER CHARACTERS: as a mild-mannered, overly polite butler who loves servitude?? Yuzuru Fushimi has not only bewitched the characters into believing his facade, but he’s thoroughly hoodwinked the general audience of ensemble stars too. No one believes Wataru to be normal and casual, and arguably he’s the most normal of fine (at least in terms of upbringing, consistency, motivations etc….. but also he is literally me and i’ve been told I’m devastatingly Not Normal, so maybe that doesn’t count). No one would claim to call Kanata normal. No one thinks HiMERU or Mayoi or Shu & Mika, or the twins are normal. Everyone knows, at least in part, how insane they are, whether they produce the unit and know the lore or not. But Yuzuru!!!! He has fooled you all!!!! He has fooled everyone, and that’s exactly what he wants to do but exactly what he is terrified of doing, too. He fears the utter insanity inside him, but he’s also desperate for any chance he can find to unleash it and, for lack of a better phrase, go beast mode.

Yuzuru Fushimi, folks. He is one hell of a character and I hope you’ve enjoyed my ridiculously long essay on exactly why he is the craziest son of a bitch in ensemble stars. At least to me <3

And now for an incomplete list of references because I legit forget where half my knowledge comes from, I just read it once and forever absorb it into my brain:

! Era:

RESORT LIVE!!! lots of Yuzuru insight

Noble game. A lot of Yuzuru, specifically within his Butler context

GANG!!!! This is the backstory & ibayuzu lore story and it kills me every time

Flower Fes. Not huge on Yuzuru lore but gives an insight into his beginnings at Yumenosaki

Toyland. Yuzuru’s drawings and feelings about being an idol come up here. As well as Tori’s guilt about Yuzuru

School Trip. Aka Yuzuru unreliable narrator the novel

!! Era:

FRONTLINE WATCHDOGS!!!! It’s the Ibayuzu lore of !! era. !!’s answer to Gang

SS finals. It’s really long so specifically the chapters with Ibara and Yuzuru are where the lore is

Fist of Idol Togenkyo. I didn’t mention it much here but it covers Yuzuru’s acting and fighting quite well

Tempest & Primavera are the fine stories that discuss Yuzuru’s current role in ES and Tori’s life best but I didn’t reference them loads

Fair Waltz. It’s a short scout story but it’s so good for Yuzuru & Eichi dynamic & Yuzuru fighting

Grand Slam. There’s like one chapter during the sports festival about Yuzuru and guns lol

Yuzuru idol story episode 3. Ibayuzu reflect on their past & I cry

Seasoning as you like (Niki idol story). Niki’s kitchen revealing some of Yuzuru’s violent tendencies

!!! Era

Intelligence. Cross scout with Kaoru where the Nagisa incident happens

Ballade of the Lost Ones. Shuffle Unit!!!! Yuzuru goes wild!!!

[aihoshiino]

chapter 165 thoughts

Aqua Hoshigan Status: It's Officially Hoshinover

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 1

damn i guess they really did just kill his ass

I'm gonna be so real with you gamers, I kind of don't have a lot to say about this one either lol. Which I acknowledge sounds completely wild given the Everything that happens in it, but most of my meat and potatoes analysis in these reviews comes from breaking down characterization and we're flying through everything at such breakneck pace that we're barely getting any characterization.

It continues to drive me bugfuck insane that Ai is completely absent from this finale despite the importance of 15 Year Lie. Its imagery is plastered all over but whenever we return to it, we just see Aqua. Not only that, but Gotanda is the one who insists on pushing the movie through for Aqua. 15YL as a story about Ai's true self and her tragedy is now officially taking a backseat to being about Aqua's tragic death and legacy. It was already bad enough that we spent so much time in the Movie Arc not actually focusing on Ai to the extent that, as everyone pointed out, based on what we saw on-page it was basically a Sad Kamiki Movie, but this really is just pissing right in the wound at this point lmao.

The funeral scene also serves as the final nail in the coffin for any Secretly Alive Aqua copes, which is kind of a relief. I still don't like how Aqua's death played out, but I think dragging it out for four chapters then going "sorry you thought i was /srs when i was just /jk" would have been infinitely more insulting. I don't like this ending, but I can respect that Akasaka seems to be sticking to his guns on it, even if we still do have like a whole chapter left for him to whip around and go "I WAS /JK ALL ALONG!!!!" but I don't see it happening.

Anyway, yeah! The funeral! Uh. Is it gonna sound weird if I say I felt kind of like… grossed out reading this the first time? Like, I really don't know how else to explain the visceral "why the fuck is the author making me read this" reaction I had to it. I think it's just because Kana is so fucking distraught here and the drama is just so hammy and so over the top that it feels kind of… ech. I dunno. I just really didn't vibe.

It doesn't help that this is part of a much broader pattern in the back half of OnK of Aka getting us right up close into the gory details of a character's complete mental breakdown and suffering and then spend zero time or focus on their recovery. This happened with Ruby all over the Movie Arc and this many times and with this little runway to the end of the series, it just starts to feel exploitative, like a way to cheaply pull at our heartstrings without doing the work to build everyone back up after tearing them down.

also pre-emptively dreading all the fuel this is going to add to the fires of People Who Are Weird And Misogynistic About Kana but she could die saving innocent children from a burning building and people would find reasons to be shitty about her lmao

we really are not seeing ruby's reaction to finding out her brother was dead huh lol

I will say the one thing I didn't Actively Dislike about this chapter was Ruby, though. I was honestly starting to get pretty skeeved out with how many people were gleefully predicting or actively wishing for her immediate suicide purely for ship motivated reasons and I was also worrying that the story was going to pretend that Ruby doesn't like. Have a life and support system outside of Aqua. Yes, she should absolutely be affected by his death but this period of her shutting down only to drag herself back onto her feet that we seem to be getting feels way more in line with pre-Movie Arc flanderization Ruby and I'll take that W where I can get it.

god. I haven't even talked about Kamiki's supposed serial killer cult. I just don't have the strength. Like… that's self-evidently stupid, right? I don't need to explain to you why that's ridiculous and unbelievable? You don't need me to tell you why it's fucking crazy that we're getting this information about the alleged overarching antagonist of the series not only in the second-to-last chapter of the entire series but after he was already dead, right? We can just move on? Ok good. jesus christ.

FINAL CHAPTER NEXT WEEK…

[thedream14]

I really love the idea of ​​Logan assuming that Wade has always been a mutant, only to find out in some random way that Wade was actually a “fail” experiment.

In his home universe, Wade Wilson was a human with extraordinary physical abilities and reflexes, but not a mutant. So, upon seeing his face for the first time in the Void, Logan automatically assumed that this variant of Wilson was definitely a mutant. Besides, it made sense that he wasn't a human. Deadpool could survive literally anything.

(superrrr Angst/Fluff stuff over here)

****

The prompt would go something like this:

One day, while walking through Central Park, they came across a small exhibition of mutant artists. This caught Logan's attention, as he has always openly supported any kind of mutant project.

Without explanation, he dragged Wade towards the exhibition. From the beginning, Logan could notice Wade's nervousness and discomfort. He had become strangely rigid in his movements and for once… He shut up voluntarily.

Feeling a little weird with his partner's attitude, Logan decided to get away from the crowd with Wade. Once in a more private place he asked:

- Ok… Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong with ya, bub ?

- Ahhhh nothing, noopeee, nada !

- You know that I can tell that you are lying, right? Like literally I can Smell it all over you…

- Well… It's pointless really… like really dumb. You don’t have to worry about it…

- Quit the bullshit, mouth! If it was a “dumb” thing, you wouldn't be like this. You didn't even comment on one of the paintings with a fucking tennis ball on it

- Gagged ! No pun intended.

- You fucking idiot - Snikt!

- Ok ok relax !!! Pull the kitty claws away…

- I swear, I never thought I'd say this, but starts talking Wade…

- Ok, it's just that... I felt a little out of place. All those mutants… like everybody was happy and talking to each other, I don't know... It's not that I have anything against mutants, of course not, I support the cause. I fuck with all the equal rights for mutants and stuff… it's just that, I don't know... I felt like I shouldn't be there... Also, what if you were recognized, Peanut? Then your community would associate you with me and let's be honest, almost nobody wants that... Nobody wants to be seen with lil old Deadpool, imma right?

Logan is a man of few words. He has always kept control of his thoughts and actions. There are very few times when he decides to remain silent, simply because his mind has gone blank. This is one of those times.

- Hey !!! Earth calling Wolvie… are you okay? Holy shit I think I talked too much again… Look, I’m reeeeeeally sorry…

- What the actual Fuck…

- Excuse me… what?

- Like What the actual Fuck, Wade… I don’t understand. How can you feel out of place among your own people? And what is all that shit about me being seeing with you?

After Seeing his partner's worried face, Logan decided to be a little gentler with his words. He didn't want to close the opportunity of communication between them. Also, Logan didn’t want to make him feel even more insecure.

He really didn't understand the situation and wanted to know what’s going through his lover mind. Soooo with an extreme delicacy, he grabbed his partner's hand and with a sweet gesture, he commented:

- Ok… Princess, don’t worry. I just… want to understand you. Please walk me through it…

- I mean… If you ask that kindly - Respond Wade with a small smile. - Like I told you, I don’t feel welcome between mutants at all… Like the X-men didn’t want me close…

- Fuck the X-men! If they don't want you around, it doesn't mean that any other mutant will feel good in your company. I love your company. As mutants we have to watch our backs together…

- Wait wait wait… I truly loveeee all this sweet speech of yours, I truly am… but peanut… Their is a detail. I’m not a mutant… or at least, I wasn’t born as one… you knew that, right? Righttt ???

Again, mind blank. This is a record, Logan should treat Wade with an ice cream as a reward.

- Ok… Well, I guess you didn't know

- How?

- Excuse me, love… How what exactly?

- How you become one? I mean… you are saying that you aren’t a mutant. Then what happened?

- Ohhh Peanut, buckle up for a sappy Origen story !!!

To say that Logan was not prepared for the story would be an overstatement. He had no words to describe the pain that was crossing his heart.

Logan could empathize with Wade's suffering, but fail to assimilate the fear and hopelessness that Wade probably felt in those darker times. It’s not easy to accept the end of the road when you have loved ones around you.

- And like I told you, I'm not exactly welcome anywhere… I'm not human enough to be well regarded on the streets and I'm not mutant enough to play nice with the X-Men and their little joy club. It's not like I want to be with them either... They're all idiots who can kiss my disfigured fucking ass ... But I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't like to belong somewhere... I don't like feeling lost, Logan. That’s why I take good care of my family… That’s why I try to take a good care of you…

- Wade… I…

- Nope, no words Peanut. It’s ok. I’m used to it. I… I just need time. Besides, I don't want to cause you any trouble. Like I said, I want you to be happy. I don't want any doors to be closed to you because of me. I would hate myself even more if you were excluded because of me. That's why I'm worried that you'll be seen with me in such a public way…. I love you and I want the best for you, Logan…

- Wade… This is too much… I

- Ohhhh I’m sorry… I don’t want to be overwhelming… I just…

- No… It’s not that… It’s too much to process… I… Wade, I love you… I truly love you. I’m not good with words, but I could tell you how much I love you and how much I love and crave your company. I don’t give a fuck about anybody else… I want you by my side all the time.

- Ohhh Peanut, it’s ok…

- No, it’s not ok. Stop it. It’s not ok what you been through. It’s not fucking ok how you being treated and I swear to god, it’s not ok how you been excluded by the people that was supposed to help you… So fuck it ! Fuck them ! Fuck all of them !!! We don’t need them, princess !!! We are better without them !

- Come Logan, don’t say that ! That’s why I didn’t want to tell you…

- No, Wade. Don’t ever lie to me about this things. We are partners, lovers, whatever you want to call us. We are together. If you are not welcome, neither I am.

With even a greater gentleness, Logan released Wade's hands to hold his face. His eyes were tearful with emotion.

At that moment, Logan remembered how beautiful the love of his life truly was. He also made a promise to himself, he would never let anyone hurt Wade again.

- I need you to engrave this inside your head my princess, I would never be ashamed of loving you. Of holding your hands, kissing your face and hugging your body. I will never regret chosen you !

Immediately, Logan ended that promise of love with a sweet and slow kiss.

Wade did not deserve to be an open secret. Wade was his mutant lover and no one could change that fact.

***

I was cooking this in my sleepless nights… I need to rest, but my insomnia is severe and F up…

I hope you liked this 🤯

[clementine-kesh]

#Tom: I've accepted these things about myself~ #(Maybe you should work on improving some of these things?) #Tom: I've accepted them v_v #There's a sort of sadness in that Tom's main issues upon introduction are that he never really wanted to be starfleet #and only joined to gain his dad's approval (to be rejected utterly by both after The Incident) #and the happiness he finds involves just basically being right back where he started Pre-The Incident only with a wife and kid now #He's matured definitely but ultimately he's back where he started: Daddy loves you as long as you're a good Starfleet boy #sort of like B'Elanna only B'Elanna has it even worse where she doesn't even have the assurance of being accepted by Starfleet & Society #etc after returning to Earth (She's Maquis & She's Klingon & Her parents aren't Admirals) #It really shows just HOW performative Tom's rebellion was even if he doesn't see it that way #Even if we didn't have the fact that he joined the Maquis NOT out of any moral dilemma he had about the Federation's actions #but essentially to stick it to his dad #A great microcosm of how Tom thinks is that when B'Elanna says she might wanna break up with him because of xyz he proposes to her #It's a large change which might seem like progress because of how flighty he is and his struggles with loyalty/ fidelity #but in actuality it's just a way to maintain the status quo without addressing any of the underlying problems B'Elanna brought up to him #Instead of 'how can I improve our relationship?' the question is 'how can I get her to stay?' #He IS an interesting character but ONLY if you're willing to admit that he's kind of a shitty guy from beginning to end even if the #narrative is trying to tell you otherwise #something interesting I noticed is that I don't THINK Tom ever worries about going back to jail?? #he was told that Starfleet would essentially just put in a good word* for him if he helped them out with finding the Maquis #but he doesn't worry about returning to jail upon returning to Earth #Meanwhile B'Elanna worries about being thrown in jail even though they've both been equally loyal to Voyager - B'Elanna #perhaps even more so (didn't get demoted for disobeying orders) #*NOT that he'd be free (via @bumblingbabooshka)

yeah!! as always you’ve really hit the nail on the head here wrt the inherent tragedy of tom paris being a character who is bad at the status quo because he’s so flighty and self-interested yet is never able to truly break free from it. and the show presents that as a happy ending!! very sad and fucked up. also this is why i think he and post-picard seven would have a lot in common lol

i do actually like that tom’s arc in voyager works out to be about a guy who sucks ass and slowly gets better but is still kind of a shitty person at the end of it. it’s unfortunate though that both the writers and many of the fans don’t seem to realize that just because he’s dealt with his daddy issues and found acceptance in the voyager family doesn’t mean he doesn’t still suck by way of being racist and misogynistic and generally self-centered

[netscapenavigator-official]

I'm sorry if I alarmed or worried any of you last night. I've had some time to sleep... what few hours I got. Now that the dust is starting to settle, I find myself asking, "what now?" The reality is donning, and no amount of fantasy, wishing, or hoping is going to change it. So what now?

I think this election demonstrated something I've been worried was true for a long time: The only allies we truly have are ourselves. Women, queer folk, people of color? At the end of the day, the only people we can truly trust to be there for us are those in the same shoes we are. The Democrat party, our once only major ally in American politics, is in pieces. I don't know if it'll ever be able to meaningfully repair itself. If it can't, I don't know if a new party will replace it in time for future elections. If there will be any. We are alone, now, and this election marks a new truth: The allies we once had aren't there anymore, and if they are, they don't care enough about us to show up for us. So what now?

Well... maybe we disappear from the public view for a while. Maybe we go underground for a while. Maybe we have to hide who we are and live in secrecy... but what else is new?

When has it ever been easy to be us? When have we ever faced a day where hate and dehumanization, on a systematic level, weren't on the table. To be who we are means to be at the receiving end of what happened last night. So what now?

We will survive. We will fly under the radar. Some of us will die. It's an unfortunate truth, but we can't do anything about it now. The best we can do is do what those before us did: Keep on going. Queer people, women, people of color? We'll band together. Maybe not all together. Maybe in each of the three communities. I don't know. We don't have politicians and we don't have allies anymore. All we have is each other. But we are the Tardigrades of the social political world. We will endure.

Whether with public support or without, we will find ways to exist and thrive. The people of color, the women, the queer folk before us... they all went through the ringer too... and they survived. Not only that, but many of them thrived.

Things may be fucked on a systematic level, but we're far smaller than the prying eyes of the government can see. They don't see people. They see groups. And so, as an individual, you can thrive in personal ways. Maybe the world of politics is hell. That doesn't meant you have to give up on your hobbies. That doesn't mean you have stop loving those you do. That doesn't mean you have to stop petting your cat. That doesn't mean you have to stop reading books. That doesn't mean you have to stop looking out your window and going, "what a beautiful day!" That doesn't mean that you have to stop enjoying anything.

Life is complex. It's multi-faceted. Some doors may close on the joys we once had, but new ones will open. Excitement will come from places you never saw yourself in. Joy will still come from the small, mundane things you already love.

It's impossible to understand what we're in for. And so, the best thing we can do is stop catastrophizing. Let the horrors find you and spend the meantime making the best of it. Don't anticipate stuff and spend the rest of your time being miserable. Maybe the time you have left is short. Maybe it's long. Maybe it's somewhere in between... That doesn't mean you have to give up on making the best of it. Thrive, if not for yourself, then out of spite for those who pray on your downfall.

Be happy. Be kind. Like the minorities before us... we will survive. A bad government doesn't mean we have to live a bad life. I wish you all the best. Stay safe. <3

[scratchandfriends]

Apologies and Insecurities (+18)

Pairing: Gale Dekarios x Female Tav

WC: 2400

Summary: You’re so sick and tired of hearing about your lover’s toxic ex. It comes to a head and you’re ready to either break it off or kill him, he finally comes to his senses. 

*author’s note* let’s assume mama Karlach has had her second upgrade and can touchy feely, yes?

TW: SMUT! Praise kink, good boy Gale, unprotected sex, attempted murder? Arguments, make up sex, cream pies, oral sex f receiving, fingering, love making idk?

— — 

The party had made camp early. The sun was still out, but just starting to make its gentle dive into the horizon. 

Shadowheart, Astarion, and Wyll were seated side by side on a fallen log being used as a makeshift bench at the campfire circle. 

The smell of cooking meats wafted throughout the camp. The unlikely trio shared a bottle of stolen Elsmetar Red as they watched the evening’s entertainment unfold. 

*wOOOOOOsh* *rip* *THWACK* 

The sound of an arrow piercing tent fabric and lodging firmly into an oak tree rung out. 

“OH right, Gale, SURE! Just the same as it is every time!” Tav, bow in hand storms around the rocky outcropping obscuring Gale’s tent from the rest of the camp. Her footsteps stomp across the dirt, headed back to her own tent, kicking up pebbles in her wake. Tav’s face was bright red and her knuckles were ivory white from the tight grip she had on her weapon. 

“My darling, please!” The wizards voice sounded both apologetic and irritated resonating from behind the rocks as he exited his tent to follow. “It’s really nothing! I don’t see why you’re turning this into-“

“You don’t? Famed “wizard of waterdeep” fails to see the reason his lover is upset?” Tav huffs, still making a beeline across the camp, not even bothering to turn around. “Arcane knowledge can’t replace common sense, it seems.” 

*ppfftt* Astarion spits out a sip of wine, desperately trying to hide the sound of his chuckle. 

“Wow, a storm cloud hovers closely over the island of paradise it seems.” Wyll comments softly with raised eyebrows. 

“Will you shut up? I want to see if she kills him this time.” Shadowheart remarks, taking a sip of wine and enjoying the show. 

“If you can’t appreciate a bit of commentary, you don’t know good theatre.” Astarion says, smugly. “What do you think he did? Said Mystra’s name at the peak of climax? Bit her hand when slurping down another amulet?” 

“You’re terrible.” Wyll scolds while taking a drink. “… I’d put 50 gold on the first one.” 

Astarion smirks and holds out his hand. “Shake on it.” 

Wyll clasped Astarion’s pallid hand with a guilty looking grin. 

“Sweet love, all I asked is if you wanted a piece of cheese!” Gale pleads as he speed walks to keep up with Tav (running wasn’t his strong suit). 

Tav spins around on her heels and comes to a stop. 

“NO, you didn’t ‘ask if I wanted a piece of cheese!’” Tav yells, eyes wild. “You said ‘here, have a piece, you love blue cheese.’” She continues to seethe. “I FUCKING HATE BLUE CHEESE!” 

“I merely forgot! You can’t put an arrow through my chest because I had forgotten what kind of cheese you prefer!” Gale says, exasperated. 

“You said you knew I loved it! That’s not me! That’s stupid fucking Mystra, you gods-damned ignoramus!” Tav rushes towards her lover, angry tears pricking the corners of her eyes from the frustration. 

“If you had told me the wizard would die over a slice of Roquefort, I’d have sent you to the healers.” Astarion says with a smirk. “This is good.” 

“Should we be worried? Do you think the orb will explode if she kills him? Should we leave?” Wyll asks. 

“If that’s the way I die, so be it. This is too rich to miss.” Shadowheart says as she sits up further in interest. 

“Darling I must protest. I cannot thrive under these ridiculous expectations. You’re stifling me with your constant accusations! It’s been an age since Mystra and I promise I-“ Gale’s expression turns from apologetic to angry. 

“You just don’t fucking get it, do you? You can’t-” 

*THUMP*

The camp was silent. 

Shadowheart and Astarion gasp. 

“He did NOT just magically silence her, did he?” Wyll says with raised brows. 

“Oh he’s positively done for.” Astarion remarks with a devilish giggle. 

The trio watched Tav emote and scream in complete silence due to the magical effects cast by her wizard. She grips an arrow from her quiver and loads it into her bow. 

Just as she pulls the string back another voice echoed throughout the camp. 

“ALLright Soldier, that’s enough of that.” Karlach had emerged from her own tent and approached Tav’s raging form. “Come on, no murdering our friends.” 

Karlach bends down, scoops Tav up by her waist and throws her over her broad shoulder. 

“You’re going for a dunk in the river to cool off. If you still can’t play nice after that, we’ll have to try something else.” Karlach says as she affectionally pats Tav’s leg draped over her glowing chest. Tav silently kicks and screams in protest as the tiefling carries her much smaller body off into the woods. 

“Aww. Such an unsatisfying finale.” Astarion pouts as he takes another sip of wine. 

— — 

After a long soak in the cool river and a heated venting session with Karlach, your temper had subsided along with the searing sunlight of the day. You had forgone the normal revelry of an evening at camp to brood alone in your tent. Most of your companions had gone to bed you could only hear the dirge of crickets from the forest outside your tent. 

You stared at the peaked, cloth ceiling of your tent as you laid on your beck on your bedroll. You had been trying to sleep, but the anxious gnawing of your argument with Gale and the frustration of feeling like you’d always be second best were keeping your eyes pried open. 

How could you ever compare to a literal goddess? 

She was powerful. Beautiful. Inspirational. Celestial. 

Was he thinking of her every time he laid with you?

Tears threatened to form in the outer corners of your eyes again but you blinked them away. You hugged a pillow close to your chest to comfort yourself as you rolled onto your side. You let out a long sigh. 

As you gazed towards the opening of your tent, you see a flutter of movement agains the fabric near the door. After you watch whatever it was take a few fumbling brushes against the outside of the tent, the tent flaps separate and you see something enter your tent. You sit up on instinct and reach for your bow. 

Your heart rate slows when you see a translucent blue hand holding a large, beautiful, albeit clumsily put together, bouquet of daisies and baby’s breath. You snort a laugh, but make no move to accept the flowers. 

The hand wiggles the arrangement in your direction tentatively. You reach out and roll your eyes. You take the flowers from the magical, disembodied hand and set them at the side of your bed roll. 

“You can come in, Gale.” You say loudly. 

As if by magic, Gale steps sheepishly through your tent flaps and makes sure they’re closed properly behind him. 

“Good evening.” He says with a soft smile, standing awkwardly. 

“Thank you for the flowers.” You say after an uncomfortable silence. You swallow. “Come, sit.” You pat the bedroll across from your seated form. Gale sits gingerly across from you, his body not facing you fully, not wanting to seem too familiar. 

“I shouldn’t have tried to shoot you with an arrow. That was an ov-“ You begin. 

“No.” Gale interrupts you. “I will accept no apologies, for I am the one who is here to make amends.” 

You quiet yourself. You were the one who flew off the handle over cheese, for gods sake. You couldn’t form words. 

“Tav, I was being selfish. I didn’t think of the way you felt, being with someone whose last lover was a god. I was only thinking of myself… something I’ve been apt to do in relationships…” Gale hangs his head. “Something I need to be kept accountable for. It wasn’t about the cheese, I know that now.” Gale turns and looks into your eyes. “I come here to beg you for another chance.” 

“You needn’t beg, Gale.” You smile sympathetically. “Of course I’ll give you another chance. Daisies are my favorite flower, after all.” You reach out and take his hand in yours. 

“So you’ll give this old, bumbling wizard another shot at love?” Gale grins and squeezes your fingers in his. 

“Old bumbling wizard? Elminster is here?” You jest. 

“Thankfully no. It’s just you and I, my love… always.” Gale chuckles before reaching out with his free arm and pulling you close. “You’ll let me prove how deep my love for you is, yes?” He asks, wrapping his arms around your body and gently pushing you to lay back on your bedroll. 

“I’ll allow it.” You say playfully as Gale hovered above you. 

Gale hums and lifts your tunic over your head, you sit up to help him in the process. You go ahead and shimmy down your trousers, leaving your body completely bare on your mattress. Gale’s face is immediately buried in your neck, littering it with wet, open-mouthed kisses. His stubble scraped your flesh and your hips twitched in response. 

“How lucky am I…” Gale murmurs into your neck. “… that I get to have you like this…” He brings his hand up to squeeze your breast roughly, the way he knows you like. You moan softly at his touch. 

His kisses trail down your sternum while smooth, uncalloused hands pinched and twisted at your nipples. Hands never leaving your sensitive chest, Gale kissed above your navel, then your lower abdomen, then your mound before nuzzling his face into the coarse patch of hair here. The wizard takes a deep inhale. 

“So lovely, as always my sweet. Can’t wait to taste you…” Gale pulls his hands from your breasts and uses them to push your thighs apart as he settles himself between your legs. “Mmmmmph..” He moans even louder than you do as he delves his tongue between your lower lips. 

“Shit-“ You sigh out and instinctively tangle your right hand into Gale’s brown locks. 

And just like that, all transgressions and arguments were slingshotted out of your mind. The way his lips closed around your sensitive clit and suckled gently had your eyes rolling back in your head. You bring your left hand to grip your own breast, losing yourself in the pleasure Gale was bestowing upon you. You grind your hips further upward into his face, met with contented hums from deep in his chest. 

“You taste so sweet.. could drink you forever, darling…” Gale mumbles as he comes up for air, placing a gentle, wet kiss on your inner thigh. He shifts his position so he can bring two fingers and rub them messily up and down your slit. Your body jolts every time they brush your clit. “My my, what a sight.” Gale smirks before pushing those two digits into your sopping hole. He immediately curls them upward to pull and tap on your favorite spot. “Need you to cum for me, love… let go for me….” He coos before returning his lips to your clit. 

You cry out and arch your back. Your walls start clenching involuntarily and you feel a familiar pressure build in your abdomen.

“Fuck- just.. like- that-! Ah!” You dig your nails into Gale’s scalp as you reach your climax. You barely notice the slowing of the wizard’s fingers inside you as you ride out your orgasm. Your eyes flutter closed and you try to catch your breath. “Good boy.” You pant out with a dazed grin on your face, still staring at the ceiling of your tent. 

The bedroll shifts and you feel a soft hand pull your legs apart. 

Gale had shed his clothing and was now between your legs on his knees, straddling one of your legs while hauling the other over his shoulder. 

“You can’t say things like that…” Gale warns as he uses his hand that wasn’t holding your leg to his chest to guide his leaking cockhead through your soaking folds. “You know what that does to me…” He whispers as he slowly rubs his tip across your clit. 

You smirk and rake your nails down his chest. 

“Maybe I do…” You buck your hips, wordlessly begging him to enter you. 

Gale can’t resist the wetness of your sex any longer and pushes his member inside of you slowly and deliberately. You both let out relieved gasps as your hips become flush with each others. Without pulling out completely, your lover slowly grinds himself into you, pelvis rubbing your clit with every movement. 

You feel a gentle kiss pressed to the side of your knee. 

“Gods you’re fucking gorgeous. So perfect…” Gale praises as he brings a hand to pinch your nipple. 

Completely lost in pleasure, you arch your back and moan, not caring if anyone else in the camp hears you… they had already heard you argue earlier, this couldn’t be much worse. “Gale!” You cry out. 

“Yes love, I’m yours. Only yours.” Gale pants out between rough thrusts, the allure of his own end overwhelming him. “I love you, only you..” He drops your leg from his shoulder and leans over you, capturing your open lips in a searing kiss. 

“I’m-“ You whimper out, breaking the kiss after a few moments, feeling the tension in your sex threaten to release. 

“I know, I know, me too…” Gale huffs, forehead pressing against yours. 

“I love you.” You say as you grip Gale’s hair again, keeping him as close as you could physically have him. He continues grinding his member vigorously against the most sensitive spot inside of you. Your pleasure crested and you tipped over the edge with a cry. 

“I love you.” Gale mirrors and grunts before his hips stutter and you feel him pumping you full of white hot spend. Once the twitches of his cock slowed, he slumped over to your side and pulled your panting body into his chest. 

“So… you’re staying here tonight?” You ask as you draw lazy patterns on Gale’s back with your fingernails. 

“Oh without a doubt. Astarion was still up when I came in here. Called me names the entire time. There’s no way I’m going out and looking at his smug face now.” Gale says. 

“Such a plagued, little wizard you are.” You tease. 

“Plagued, yes. Little, no.” Gale protests. “I think you can attest to that.” He says with a charming smile. 

“Shut up and go to sleep.” You roll your eyes.