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8x06 fix-it fic: Amnion
Buck doesn't bounce back from Tommy the way he did with all his other breakups for reasons he can't articulate or even look at. He thinks of how long it took him to recover from Abby, but even that felt different, because he'd had hope carrying him through most of it. He doesn't have that now.
The worst part is it's bringing everyone else down. It's starting to affect the job, and he can't take any more of Bobby's pity dinner invites or the kid gloves Eddie handles him with. Then one day, Chimney (in an attempt to lighten the mood) asks Buck if he's pregnant, and it awakens some primordial rage in Buck that he never knew he possessed and damn near rips off Chimney's head about it.
But once the blood levels in his adrenaline start rising and he calms down, he starts thinking about it. Before he knows it he's thinking about it day and night, and now that's starting to affect the job more than his heartbreak had been.
Then one night Maddie invites him over to watch trash TV and eat junk food until they can't feel feelings anymore, but instead of the patented Maddie Hug he's expecting, she hands him a First Response test stick the second he walks in the door.
Five minutes later, he comes out of the bathroom pale-faced and dripping tears because there are two lines in the test result window, and Maddie leads him over to the couch where they curl up and cry together. Just like the old days.
Maddie asks if he's going to tell Tommy, but there's no judgment in her voice, like she's behind him no matter what he decides, and Buck tries to make her laugh when he says, "How do you know it's his? I could've been living it up for the last month. New person almost every night. Exploring myself."
She just gives him a Look. Also patented.
Under the weight of her scrutiny, Buck thinks about Tommy's face before he left the loft that night and how ''Buck'' looked and sounded so wrong coming from him. Like the shape of it was so painful he could barely move his mouth around it.
Finally, he shakes his head. His eyes well up with more tears, which feels impossible, because the human body can't possibly produce this much liquid. He's going to drown them both. "I thought... I thought we had a future, Maddie. I really did. I guess I still get one... but only with part of him."
A couple of months pass and Buck's entire world shifts. The 118 have rallied around him in a way that almost feels like they're closing ranks to every other firehouse. Eddie becomes especially protective and devises a 5000-point care plan that makes him twitch if Buck so much as thinks about deviating from it, but he also keeps telling Buck that he needs to tell Tommy about the pregnancy.
"If only to get his family history," Eddie says reasonably, but there's something pleading in his voice every time, like there's so much more under the surface that he's trying to keep under wraps. Like there's more about this that he thinks Tommy should know.
Chimney's in the middle of explaining why he's stealing the cool uncle crown from Buck and sitting pretty on the throne when Buck asks him about it.
"Is there something about Tommy that no one's telling me?"
It trips Chimney up. Literally. He just barely catches himself from going headfirst into the kitchen counter.
Buck's heart starts pounding. "Chim, does he know?"
"No," Chimney says, firm and almost a little offended. "We promised you we wouldn't say anything. But Buck... you should tell him. You should talk to him."
Part of him wants to whip his phone out right then and there and dial Tommy's number. He could do what he did the first time: ask to meet somewhere and laugh about bad coffee and plead his case for a second chance. He could reach across the table for his hand, but this time, he'd stand up and walk over to Tommy and place it on his belly. "I don't care about firsts or lasts," he'd say. "I care about only's. And you're the only one I want."
But the other part of him, still licking its wounds, hormones in flux and forcing organs to shift and bend as it makes room for the thing he and Tommy made together, bares its teeth and snaps, "He made it very clear that he had no interest in hearing what I had to say."
Chimney never brings it up again.
Meanwhile, Hen goes a little overboard with forcing him to undergo random physicals—she pops out of the shadows twice a day to ambush him with the blood pressure machine, and he keeps threatening to avoid rooms that have doors—but he loves it. His body is a complete stranger to him for the first time in a long time, but the changes he's experiencing are interesting and he's having a blast cataloging every new one. He and Hen have a spreadsheet with like fifty tabs, and she helps him navigate every test his actual OBGYN sets him up for.
He's over her house at least once a week, although pregnancy talk at the dinner table is verboten.
"If one of you says the word 'amniocentesis' one more time, I will start a food fight," Karen had said, finally putting her foot down. Across the table, Denny perked up.
As much as he hesitates to even think the Q-word, it's a pretty quiet pregnancy. The cravings are kind of wild, though, and he goes most of his first trimester feeling like he's going to die if he can't eat rice krispie treats with cottage cheese. Every time Bobby sees him cracking open another container of Hood, it looks like he's seriously reconsidering sobriety.
But as incredible as they are about the pregnancy, they're all tiptoeing around the other elephant in the room: when Buck is going to stop working scenes. He and Bobby have a series of discussions that satisfies neither of them and resolves nothing, and it builds to a big blow-out that ends when Bobby tearfully begs Buck to stop risking his own life and the life of Bobby's grandkid.
After that, it's like some stone thing in him dissolves into sand and he finally eases back a bit in his fifth month. He doesn't put up a fight when Bobby orders him to only handle the winch or stick with hose duty, and if he stays a little closer to the engine because he gets winded so easily these days, no one comments on it.
In his sixth month, the inevitable happens: there's a call out at Palos Verdes and it's all hands on deck, which means the 217 is there too. At first he thinks he might make it through without running into Tommy at all, but he turns a corner and—there he is. Smudged with mud and looking like a drowned rat because of the downpours, but in his turnouts he's big and capable and, for a second, he's walking into First Presbyterian and apologizing for missing the ceremony.
But the memory is easily wrestled back into the past the second Tommy's gaze fixes on Buck's belly.
Buck wants to stage a retreat that would make the Allies at Dunkirk stand up and applaud. He wants to throw his arms open so Tommy can get a better look at it, say something cool and mean, like, "Did you know that INNOTEX makes turnouts for carriers these days? Pretty progressive of them, if you ask me."
He wants to be weak and ask if Tommy will spare him a hug. Just one. Nothing greedy. Just—a moment to soak in his warmth, to inhale the smell of his skin. Enough to carry him through the rest of it.
But he does none of that. He inhales through his nose, lifts his chin, and says, "Firefighter Kinard."
At that, Tommy smiles, and it's completely awful. There's no joy in it. Not even amusement. He looks like he wants to be sick, and Buck feels like a monster.
But Tommy swallows and says, earnest as anything, "Congratulations. I-I knew you'd find it. I never doubted for a second that you'd find the person who'd be your last."
Even as he says it, Tommy's face does something indescribable, but it rips through Buck's chest and shatters his ribs, tearing through pericardial layers until it scores the vulnerable muscle of his heart. It's so shocking that it almost knocks the truth right out of Buck's mouth.
Someone comes over the radio and requests all available first responders with flight experience to report to the B-zone, and Tommy straightens up and locks whatever it was away.
With an unsteady hand, he tips an invisible hat to Buck and says wryly, "Firefighter Buckley," before jogging away.
And Buck stands there like an idiot watching him go. It's that night all over again. It's Buck instead of Evan.
"See you around," he whispers, and then runs back to his post in the A-zone.
+
Tommy gets the call when he's halfway through a burrito foisted upon him by Dana, who had taken one look at him and said, "You look like a flood victim. Eat something before I get HR involved."
He'd taken a mutinous bite and couldn't argue with her. Months later and it still felt like he'd watched everything he loved wash away with a tide he couldn't fight. Except he'd sent the tide himself. He had no business feeling like this.
But they send him to the site of a car accident where a pregnant driver had been T-boned by some asshole who ran the red light, and the RA unit called to the scene didn't have the right equipment to assess the fetus. But the victim's belly was hard enough to warrant a med evac.
By the time Dana gets the victim loaded on the backboard and inside, Tommy's already on with both First Presbyterian and LA General to see whose neonatal surgery team is available.
The door on Tommy's side slides open and Tommy turns in his seat to ask what the hell Dana's doing over there, but it's Hen who's pulling herself inside.
His stomach clenches with dread. "Hen?"
"I'm riding with you," she shouts, taking the headset that Dana gives her.
He looks just beyond her and wishes he'd had the presence of mind to listen to the manifest when Dana had read it aloud to him, because Evan Buckley is strapped to the gurney and looks like he's on a completely different planet.
"Hen." Tommy can't hear him say her name, but he sees Evan's mouth shape the word. Evan reaches clumsily out for her with one hand while pressing the other to his belly.
Hen murmurs something to him that the comms can't pick up, and Tommy wonders if they've notified Maddie, if they've notified the father, whoever they are. If they're already at the hospital waiting for them. If Tommy will have to see them, talk to them face to face.
Tommy bites the inside of his cheek until he feels the hot wash of blood over his tongue, then forces everything down to join the burrito from earlier that really wants to make a reappearance. It isn't his right to know any of it. That went out with the tide, too.
He locks it down tight enough that he gets them into the air so easily they might be a feather on the wind, then he heads in the direction of First Presbyterian. The real start of it all.
They're maybe halfway across the city when Evan shouts, desperation and fear carrying his voice over the rotors, the words sliding together, "Hen, check Nora! Y-Y'need to ch—"
"Nora's fine, Buck," Hen says, her voice clear as a bell in Tommy's ear.
Staring at a skyline he can't see, Tommy says, "'Nora'? Was someone else in the car with him?"
When Hen comes over the comm, her voice is as inescapable as a flood. "Nora's what he decided on for the baby. It's her name."
Tommy's hand tightens on the cyclic so the way it starts shaking won't be so obvious. "Nora was my grandmother's name."
He'd told Buck about the woman who was basically the only family he could stand, who was responsible for not letting him become his piece of shit father, who accepted him when no one else would. She'd meant the world to him. She'd been the world to him. And for Evan to give his kid her name—
Realization hits like a levy breaking, and he turns to look wide-eyed over his shoulder at Hen, because it can't—he couldn't be—
"Patient, male, 33, prenatal course complicated at 8 months gestation," Dispatch had said.
The timeline is right.
Hen stares right back, as good of a confirmation that he could get outside of a DNA test.
Without breaking her gaze, Tommy tells Dana to take over. She gives him an unreadable look but says nothing except, "Copy that," and smoothly resumes their journey while he squeezes into the back. There's hardly any room next to the gurney and his knees are compressing his lungs, but he takes Evan's' hand and stares blankly at the shiner forming around his right eye until Hen breaks the silence.
Why didn't you tell me, he wants to demand, but he knows that if he so much as opens his mouth, he's going to start screaming until someone sedates him.
"For the record," she says, "I hate what you did. I hate what you took from him. But I understand why you did it."
Tommy rolls his lips inward and wants to suffocate himself to death. She understands? Does she? Does she know a life can be obliterated in the span of a minute? Does she know what it is to live a half life, to walk through the world like a five-year old drew a scribble on a blank sheet of paper that was supposed to be a person?
Does she know what Evan looks like when his joy is sucked away? Because Tommy does. She hates what he did? No one hates what he did more than him. No one hates him more than him.
Shakily, he lifts his other hand and touches the tips of his fingers to Evan's birthmark, which used to know the touch of his lips so well that Evan would joke that it was actually in the shape of Tommy's mouth print. Like a brand.
He forces himself to inhale. It seems impossible that Evan's here, carrying their child, their Nora. Evan used to say the lightning strike gave him super powers, made him invincible, and Tommy's ashamed to admit that he almost believed him. It seemed like nothing could ever bring Evan Buckley down, but here he is in Tommy's sky, halfway to Heaven already.
He glances at the LifePAK—where Evan's life has been concentrated into a series of lines and numbers, the reading strong despite everything—and then looks back at Evan, who is still the most beautiful man Tommy has ever seen even now.
"Evan," he chokes out.
There's no answer. At least not from Evan.
Across from him, Hen breathes through her nose and then quietly says, "I'm only going to say this once, Tommy, so I hope you're listening. If you can't trust him to know what his own heart wants, then this flight will never have happened. When he wakes up, you will not have been here. I'll change the manifest myself."
Tommy closes his eyes. Something hot spills down his cheeks.
"I know things haven't been all sunshine and roses for you. Lucy's said you've basically shut down since it ended. I know you're hurting just as much as Buck is... which is why I'm telling you: be sure. He's going to have enough on his plate without worrying about whether or not you're going to swan out of his life again. You need to be sure, Tommy."
Tommy doesn't say anything, but he opens his eyes and holds her gaze without flinching, and he tightens his hold on Evan's hand.
The rest of the flight passes in the kind of silence that feels like a cyst was lanced. Or maybe a boil, as it were.
+
Buck wakes up in stages to find he's in a hospital bed, and when he puts a hand on his belly it's smaller and almost deflated beneath his palm. He is just starting to hyperventilate when suddenly Tommy's there, murmuring to him, "You're okay. Everything's okay, I promise, she's fine. She's fine. Look."
And Buck, heart racing, forces himself to breathe slowly while he follows Tommy's gaze down to the bundle in Tommy's arms. Then he stops breathing altogether.
"She's fine," Tommy says. "A little early, according to the doctor, but absolutely fine."
Buck collapses back to the bed and weeps in relief, because she's fine. She's here and she's fine and she's perfect. Tommy gently places her in Buck's arms before retreating to the chair next to the bed which has a dent in the vinyl in the shape of his ass.
But Buck is enraptured with Nora, who smacks her lips in her sleep, and he marvels aloud, "She has my mouth."
"Thank God for that," Tommy says with a laugh. "It'll help take the focus off my nose. Poor kid."
It hits Buck like lightning that Tommy is here. He's in this room and talking about Nora like—like he knows. And there are things Buck should probably be saying, like apologizing for not telling Tommy about her as soon as he found out, or asking why he's there at all, but the words are crowding in his mouth and he can't figure out which ones should go first.
Tommy's lips twitch in a smile that is awful to look at, like he completely understand Buck's struggle, but his voice is soft and even when he says, "I need you to know that it wasn't about you. Not you personally. It never was."
Buck stops trying to speak and just stares at him, because that is bullshit, and oh, he knows which words should come first, and he opens his mouth to release them into the wild but Tommy holds up a hand.
"I know," he says. "I was a coward and an asshole, and I'm more sorry than I can possibly say. I won't ever be able to make up for what I did. But I need you to know why I did it."
And, in fits and starts before he finally finds the thread, Tommy tells him about Jeremy.
After Tommy ended things with Abby and then finally came out, he dated around for a long time before he met Jeremy, who was brilliant and fun and new. Tommy was the first man Jeremy had ever been with, and Jeremy was the first person Tommy saw a future with. He'd been so sure about Jeremy. He'd believed that Jeremy was it.
Until, almost two years in, Jeremy ended it. He'd sat Tommy down and said kindly, cruelly, "You're amazing, Tom, but you're just the first. You can't be my last." And then he'd left Tommy completely shattered in the rearview.
"That night, when you asked me to move in... it was like I was watching him put on his coat all over again," Tommy says shakily. "But what I felt for you was lightyears beyond anything I felt for him. I'd fallen so hard for you that I knew if I had to watch you walk away I'd never get up again."
Buck stares at Tommy, eyes rimmed red, and says, "So instead you made me watch you walk away."
It must land like a fist because Tommy exhales sharply and hangs his head, bowing around the pain. He sits like that for a moment, absorbing it, before he lifts his head and nods. "Yeah. That's exactly what I did."
There are deep, dark circles under Tommy's eyes that speak of a hundred sleepless nights, and his body is sharper, leaner, trimmed entirely of anything soft. He's made entirely of angles. He's so unfairly hot. He's miserable to look at.
Buck swallows and murmurs, "You look like there's no love in your life, Tommy."
Sucking in a trembling breath, Tommy smiles weakly and sketches a shrug. It looks like the fatigued steel of his edges are starting to crack.
"I left all my love with you that night." His gaze darts down. "Among other things."
Buck looks down at Nora, who's sleeping the sleep of someone already exhausted by existence, or maybe just by her fathers' drama, and thinks that maybe he really has been carrying all his love plus Tommy's around. Because otherwise he has no idea how he's so full of it.
"She's absolutely perfect," Buck says, smiling dopily.
"She's... more than anything I could've ever dreamed of."
He looks up in time to see Tommy drop his gaze to the floor at the same time his shoulders lift and lock like they're bracing for a blow. And in a voice so thin it's barely a sound, Tommy says, "I know I don't have... any right to ask, but is there any... any chance I could be part of her life?"
The tears that have been languishing at the edges of Buck's eyes finally see an opportunity. He doesn't think he could've held them back any longer if he tried.
Mouth trembling, he whispers, "Just hers?"
At that, Tommy looks up, eyes wide, disbelief and hope chasing each other across his face like dogs. He jerks a little in his chair but he doesn't move. He doesn't move.
Buck stares at him, a tsunami pulling everything back from his shoreline, and bites out, "Thomas James Kinard, if you don't get over here and kiss me, I swear to Christ—"
But Tommy's out of the chair and at his bedside, cupping Buck's face and tenderly smearing a kiss over his open mouth, licking the relieved gasp right off Buck's tongue.
Between them, Nora makes a tiny noise, and Tommy startles away just enough that he can press the side of his head to Buck's and gaze down at her with a tremulous smile.
"She really is something, huh? Sorry about the nose, kiddo," he says softly.
Buck knocks their heads together and says, "I happen to love that nose, thanks. And like you said, my lips will help balance it out."
Huffing a laugh, Tommy kisses Buck's lips. And the side of his nose and the bolt of his jaw. Then he leans down and presses a kiss to Nora's little pink and blue hat.
"I'm sure if you are," Tommy murmurs, tilting his chin up so he can flash a brave smile up at Buck, who smiles back.
"I was always sure."
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#tevan#tevan fic#mpreg#911 8x06#fix it fic fest 2k24#fun fact: i originally wrote this in the tags of another post but guess what! there's a tag limit! and i lost 2/3 of it#it forced me to actually write it as a story instead of tag fic though so... thanks tumblr?
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My Home : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz
summary: the journey of how your long distance relationship is reunited once again 🛬
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liked by charles_leclerc, ynusername and 892,742 others
carlossainz55: day 50 of missing my best friend and all the little ordinary things that she somehow made feel extraordinary ✨⛅️
42,068 comments
username1: it’s so impressive how these two make long distance work so well 🥹
ynusername: can’t wait to come home and be back with you again 💞
carlossainz55: @/ynusername just a few more days to go amor 🥺
username2: is it bad that I’m also counting down the days until they’re reunited again??
danielricciardo: you two are incredible managing to keep things going even though you’re so far apart 👏🏻
username3: carlos always knows how to break our hearts with a soft caption 💔
charles_leclerc: you’ve managed to do a really subtle job of letting us all know how much you miss her 😂
username4: the fact that he trusts her enough to cook with her too…
alexandrasaintmleux: if it makes you feel any better I also can’t wait for yn to be home 🥳
username5: can’t wait for these two to be back together again and blessing us with content!
landonorris: I keep telling you that we can go for coffee together but you don’t listen!
carlossainz55: @/landonorris there are certain things that just aren’t the same with you 🫢
username6: 50 whole damn days since we last saw the dream team side by side 😭
georgerussell63: and here I am thinking a week is a long time to be without my girl…
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liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 113,048 others
ynusername: day 64 of being away from your handsome face. can’t wait for beach days like these once again soon 🩵
15,897 comments
username7: sorry yn but do you expect me to be okay after posting that middle photo!?
charles_leclerc: btw he’s had a countdown going down on his phone everyday since you left 😂
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc embarrassed to say I’ve got one too, on my home screen as well 😊
username8: please someone just end their suffering already and reunite them 💕
maxverstappen1: pls come and get your man soon, fed up of dealing with his lovesick whining 😝
username9: how anyone could survive being away from that handsome face is beyond me 😂
landonorris: just to clarify, you’re talking about carlos’ handsome face…you never know, it could be mine 😇
ynusername: @/landonorris as happy as I am to see you soon, it’s definitely carlos’ 😂
username10: he really is the definition of a soft boyfriend isn’t he…
alexandrasaintmleux: cannot wait to see your beautiful face opposite me at a coffee table soon ☕️
username11: over two months they’ve been apart and now in a matter of days they’ll be together again, like a fairytale ✨
carlossainz55: home is ready and waiting for you, as are my open arms 🫂🥰
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I can’t wait to be back in your hold again 😍
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 128,069 others
ynusername: race day -1, settling down for my last race away from home, you got this darling ❤️🏎️
17,492 comments
carlossainz55: sorry that I couldn’t bring home the win love, maybe next time when you’re back there with me 💞
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 ik you were secretly holding on so I got to be there in person 😂❤️
username12: I can’t begin to tell you how happy this post makes me knowing you’ll be home soon 🥺
username13: now this is the kinda setup I need for race day!!
carmenmmundt: wish I was there to snuggle under that blanket with you
lilymhe: @/carmenmmundt I’ve already bagsied the blanket for movie night when yn’s home 😘
username14: notice how it’s carlos in the lead with yn watching too ☺️
charles_leclerc: thank god I don’t have to deal with his moping around without you for anymore races 🙌🏻
georgerussell63: petition for you to make hot chocolate for all of us when you’re back in the paddock too 😏
ynusername: @/georgerussell63 not a chance with how needy you guys are 😂
username15: it’s adorable how yn has always made sure to be watching the races even though she’s away with work
landonorris: I’ve lost count of how many times he’s told me that you’ll be at the next race, he’s so excited yn!!
username16: their interactions somehow melt my heart every single time they update 🫠
danielricciardo: on behalf of every driver, please save us from carlos telling us how much he misses you constantly asap
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri and 1,583,293 others
charles_leclerc: my last few days of filling the large yn shaped hole that has been in my sweetie’s life ❤️🥹
104,587 comments
username17: I’m not ready to say goodbye to this pairing soon 😭
ynusername: thank you for taking such great care of my best friend leclerc ❤️
username18: charles has somehow become carlos’ emotional support system over the past couple of months lmao
danielricciardo: I also don’t think I’m stable enough for this bromance to end just yet…
username19: I’m sure yn is beyond grateful for the fact that carlos has had you by his side charles
carlossainz55: what would I do without my honey right by my side!?
username20: I’ve got high expectations for alex next time yn has to go on a work trip 😂
landonorris: guessing that carlando means nothing to you anymore then @/carlossainz55
carlossainz55: @/landonorris every time I came to you you just laughed in my face remember?? 🙄
username21: why do I get the feeling yn is coming home just to be a third wheel…
alexandrasaintmleux: can you boys just get a room and have done with it please 🤦🏻♀️
charles_leclerc: @/alexandrasaintmleux just tell us you’re jealous without telling us you’re jealous
username22: the way he just calls him sweetie as if that’s the norm 🥹
alex_albon: please come and meet me to pass on all your tips and advice for next year 😂
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liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 129,573 others
ynusername: day 1 of being back in my favourite place on earth…home 🏡❤️
21,958 comments
carlossainz55: the house finally feels like a home again with you back inside 💕
username23: I can’t believe they’re finally back together again, this is so exciting!!
charles_leclerc: welcome home yn!! can’t wait to catch up with you this weekend!!
username24: apparently carlos was front of the line at arrivals making sure he got to her as quick as he could 😭
scuderiaferrari: we’re looking forward to welcoming you back into the garage this weekend ❤️
ynusername: @/scuderiaferrari can’t wait to catch up with the whole team and watch a race again!!
landonorris: I’m happy you’re reunited but I’m more happy that he’s finally gonna have a smile on his face again
username25: the way he carries her suitcase so effortlessly has me all kinds of giddy
georgerussell63: welcome back to monaco, we’ve all missed you so much!
username26: I’ve never been more excited for two people that I don’t even know…
maxverstappen1: he cancelled our game of padel today for this…I’ll let him off just this once 😂
ynusername: @/maxversrappen1 if you ask carlos he’ll say it’s definitely worth it 😂
username27: this means we finally get to see yn back at race weekend again 🎉
alexandrasaintmleux: I need to see you asap, missed you so much 💞
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liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55 and 124,068 others
ynusername: reunited with my second home, I forgot how good red looked on me. good luck to the best team on the grid this weekend, so happy to be back and cheer you on in person 🫶🏻☺️
22,604 comments
username28: damn we really did miss seeing you at a race weekend yn 🏎️
carlossainz55: you have no idea how happy I am to have you back with me again 💞
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I bet it’s just as happy as I am to be back with you and the team again ✨
username29: hoping for a great result this weekend now that carlos has you back again
landonorris: patiently waiting for you to come and visit me, or do you plan on betraying me like carlos did??
ynusername: @/landonorris I promise I will come and see you at some point this week 🫂
username30: what are we supposed to do when red no longer is your colour next year??
danielricciardo: you must be pretty close to trying on every colour of the grid now 😂
carmenmmundt: um excuse me there better be a carmen plan somewhere in your schedule for this weekend 👀
username31: the camera somehow focused on you more than the cars in quali today 😂
oscarpiastri: it was lovely to finally meet you after hearing SO SO many stories about you!
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri I can only apologise for how much he talks about me ☺️
username32: the moment we’ve all been waiting for for so long 🤩
username33: please never leave us for a race weekend without you ever again!!
charles_leclerc: this has by far already been my most peaceful race weekend in a very long time all thanks to you!!
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liked by landonorris, ynusername and 1,048,271 others
carlossainz55: turns out my lucky charm really was the missing piece all along. thank you my love for coming back home and bringing me the luck I needed to be top of the podium again 🏆😍
89,473 comments
username34: does this mean that yn is never allowed to leave for a race ever again???
charles_leclerc: couldn’t be prouder of the race you put together this weekend, good job sweetie!!
username35: we’re all so proud of you carlos and your lucky charm 🫶🏻
scuderiaferrari: congratulations on such an amazing result carlos, the whole team is so proud of you ❤️🏎️
username36: he really was waiting for the moment for when yn could be there to celebrate too 😭
georgerussell63: that was incredible, saving your best for your girlfriend I see 😉
alex_albon: smashed it my friend, there was no catching you today 🚀
username37: this weekend has just reminded me just how much I adore these two humans!!
landonorris: buzzing to see you back where you belong on that top step mi amigo
username38: yn has to stick around forever now if she’s a lucky charm!
danielricciardo: it’s funny the effect a loved one can have isn’t it!? we all knew you were racing just to impress yn anyway 😂
username39: this weekend really couldn’t have gone more perfectly 😭
ynusername: I didn’t think you were being serious when you said you were waiting for me 😂
carlossainz55: @/ynusername a race win isn’t a win without you by my side 💕
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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Hellooooo my favorite catlover/writer
I got another pop up idea this morning (happens way too often)
But first of all ! Don’t wear yourself out ! You write a lot and it’s amazing ! But prioritize yourself first. Don’t let requests put a pression on you ❤️
I know how it feels
Anyways
I’m not a morning person like most of the population except SOCIOPATHS.
And I imagined what it would feel like having the emt!marauders watching you up since they have to go to work early. You know like kisses, shoulders massages, soothing words as they try to calm your rise and everything…
If you don’t like it that’s ok! Don’t write it.
Love you, rest well. (Drink water)
Thanks for your request babe! Hope you're resting well and drinking water too <3
emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 654 words
You stir when you feel Remus shifting underneath you. He reaches over to shut off his alarm, hand coming back to rest over your head placatingly. The appeasement doesn’t last long; when he goes to move out from under you, you make a soft whining sound.
“Dove.” His voice is husky with sleep, but there’s fondness to it. It makes you want him to stay even more.
The mattress creaks at the other end of the bed as James gets up. Sirius grumbles, scooting closer to you and shoving his face into your neck in rebellion.
“Don’t let them take me,” he mumbles pitifully.
“Baby.” Remus sounds more exasperated and also more amused now that both you and Sirius are half atop him. You’re not sure which one of you he’s talking to, but it hardly matters. “Come on.” His lips touch down on your head. “You can sleep, but we have to get ready.”
The bathroom light turns on. Both you and Sirius moan tormentedly.
James’ laugh is too loud for the early hour; you’ll never understand how he wakes so quickly. “Need some help, love?”
“Please,” Remus replies.
Sirius makes a half-asleep sound of protest as he’s dragged away from you, James speaking to him in a low, amused voice.
“Alright,” Remus murmurs, kissing your head again, “my turn.”
He eases your head off of his chest, setting it gently on the pillow before getting out of bed. You mourn the warmth of his spot next to you.
James is ready the fastest, back to press kisses to your pouty lips and soothe his big hands over your shoulders. “Do you want me to make you something for breakfast, lovie? If you get up now I’ll whip you up a fancy coffee.”
“James,” Remus chides from the bathroom, “let her sleep.”
James sighs but bends to mush loving kisses into your neck, murmuring nonsense at you all the while.
“I know you don’t like the bathroom light on, but if you think about it, we’re the ones who have to endure it. Sirius is in there halfway to a temper tantrum because his hair won’t behave, and you’re here all warm and cozy in bed. You look terribly cute like this, do you know? It’s really cruel of you, it ought to be illegal, and if Sirius were awake enough to form a thought he’d agree with me.” His kisses turn ticklish, and James chuckles when you wriggle. “Really! I mean it, you don’t know how lucky you are getting to stay here in bed and looking so adorable. Remus is about to drive us to work, and Sirius is going to insist on laying down in the backseat and moaning about how much he misses you all the while, it’s terrible. I ought to take a picture of you to console him.”
“Don’t,” you mumble. You find one of James’ hands with your own, dragging it underneath your pillow for safekeeping.
James laughs again, and another chuckle joins him as Sirius comes out of the bathroom.
“What’re you doing to her, you relentless pest? At least one of us should be allowed to sleep.”
James makes a soft grunting sound as the bed dips. You don’t have to open your eyes to know Sirius has draped himself over his boyfriend’s shoulders.
“Don’t worry, gorgeous, I’ll get him away from you,” Sirius promises. “Jamie, I require one of your fancy coffees.”
“Me too,” says Remus from the bathroom.
James succumbs to the weight of peer pressure and goes, and a short while later the bathroom light shuts off. Remus crouches by the bed, kissing you softly.
“Sleep well,” he says, brushing some hair away from your face. “We’ll see you after our shift, dovey, okay?”
You mumble out a response, already falling asleep again in the returned darkness of the bedroom.
Remus’ thumb skims fondly over your cheek. “Love you too, sweetheart.”
#emt!marauders#emt!marauders x reader#poly!marauders#poly marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly marauders x reader#marauders au#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders one shot#james potter#james potter x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#marauders x reader
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Chosen p.t 2 || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader love island au
Summary: read part one here
Warnings: angst
Word count: 1,173
A/n: help i forgot i had this in my queue LOL mb!!!
MASTERLIST (love island au masterlist)
divider by @h-aewo
You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Rafe’s absence a hollow ache beside you. You’d grown used to the warmth of his arm around you, the gentle rise and fall of his chest that lulled you to sleep each night. Without him, the bed felt colder, lonelier, and you couldn’t shake the memory of Kayla’s confident words as she chose him, as if she held a secret you didn’t.
Leah rubbed your arm in comfort, her eyes softening. “Yeah, must be tough after last night. The whole situation was shit. I don’t know what Kayla was thinking.” You managed a small smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Neither do I, honestly. Rafe said there was nothing to worry about, but then she just… picked him. It just doesn’t make sense.”
You caught Sofia’s gaze, and she gave you a small, reassuring nod. “Maybe it’s not as deep as it seems,” she offered. “Maybe she just picked him because he looks good on paper—he’s confident, attractive, all that. She probably just wanted attention.” You nodded, trying to take comfort in her words, but the unease still simmered.
You nodded, trying to find comfort in her words, but the uncertainty still twisted inside you. Rafe had reassured you last night, had looked you in the eyes and held your hand with that steady, familiar touch that always made you feel seen. But now, with the memory of Kayla confidently choosing him and the doubt simmering beneath, it was harder to trust that feeling.
Leah’s voice broke the silence, softer now. “Have you talked to him about it?” You sighed, closing your eyes briefly as if that might ease the knot in your chest. “He tried last night. But I… I couldn’t. I was too hurt, too angry. I didn’t even know if I could believe him.”
Sofia’s hand found yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I think he’s probably feeling the same, People make decisions that don’t always make sense because they’re worried about what everyone thinks.” You leaned your head back, closing your eyes for a moment as you tried to steady your breathing.
Maybe they were right—maybe it was all just the game getting in your head, Kayla’s pick a calculated move, an attempt to create drama or stir things up. But the memory of Rafe looking away as Sophie announced your single status felt too raw to ignore.
~
Later that morning, as you sat in the makeup room, humming softly to yourself as you applied your skincare, a knock sounded at the door. The other girls exchanged glances, then called out, “Yeah, we’re dressed!” The door creaked open, and Rafe peeked in, his gaze instantly landing on you. He lingered in the doorway, holding a tray with coffee and breakfast.
“Hey,” he said quietly, his expression somewhere between hopeful and tentative. “Brought you breakfast.“ You blinked, caught off guard by the gesture. “Thanks,” you replied softly, surprised at how sincere he looked, how he seemed to truly want to make up for the night before. He set the tray down beside you and took a step back, as if unsure whether he should stay.
“Could we… talk?” he asked, his gaze flickering to the other girls, who quickly exchanged sympathetic glances. Leah gave you a small nod, then ushered everyone else out with a quiet, “Alright, let’s go, girls.” You sent her a grateful look as they slipped out, leaving you alone with Rafe.“Can I sit?” he asked, watching you closely, his eyes searching for any sign of welcome.
You nodded, and he pulled up a chair, watching you as you took a sip of coffee. It was exactly how you liked it, and that little detail twisted something in your chest. Neither of you spoke for a moment, the silence thick with unspoken words. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to meet your eyes.
“I need you to believe me,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper. “I swear, I didn’t think she’d actually pick me. I thought I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested.” You looked away, biting down on the emotions that threatened to spill over. “Rafe, you don’t understand. You were there, comforting me, telling me everything was fine… and then she chose you. It felt like a slap in the face.”
He nodded, his expression pained. “I know. And I’m so sorry. I tried to make it clear to her, but I should’ve done more. I shouldn’t have let her think there was even a chance. I just… I don’t want to lose you over this.” For the first time, his words began to chip away at your hurt. His eyes held that raw sincerity, the vulnerability that he rarely let anyone see.
And as much as you wanted to cling to the anger, to shield yourself from the fear of being hurt again, a part of you knew he was being honest. You bit your lip, studying his face as he spoke, trying to gauge his sincerity. He looked back at you, a hint of desperation in his gaze that you couldn’t ignore. “You have to believe me,” he continued, voice almost a whisper. “I don’t want anyone else. It’s just you.”
Your shoulders relaxed, the anger ebbing slightly, though the doubt was still there. “Okay, Rafe,” you said finally, your tone soft but uncertain. “But actions speak louder than words. If you really mean it, you’ll have to prove it.” He nodded earnestly, relief flickering in his eyes as he reached for your hand.
“I will,” he promised. “I’ll prove it every single day if I have to. Just… give me a chance.” You nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, then smiled—a genuine, soft smile that reminded you of all the moments that had made you fall for him in the first place. “Finish your breakfast,” he murmured, nodding toward the tray. “I’ll be right here.”
#love island!rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#outer banks#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron smut#outer banks fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#drew starkey#drew starkey x y/n#rafe cameron x kook!reader#drew starkey x reader#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron outer banks#outerbanks x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and y/n#rafe cameron and reader
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[7:27 am]
You sat up abruptly, your phone vibrating incessantly on the bedside table. You blinked as the filtered sunlight streamed in through the blinds, how long had you been asleep? It felt like days. Damn, how deeply asleep were you?
You reached blindly for your phone, answering groggily and blindly, "hello?"
Beside you, Chenle shifted, still asleep, but not as deep after your abrupt wake up. He always slept more soundly knowing that you were asleep right beside him. It was common that you would wake up first and a few minutes later Chenle would follow. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, his body didn’t want to waste a single waking moment without you- or even sleeping moment.
Your conversation starts hushed and quiet as your best friend tells you all about her night out. You laugh as she tells you about a guy she met and Chenle turns in your direction, his eyes still shut and still asleep.
"No! You didn't!" You exclaim as your friend loudly laughs about how she turned this guy down.
Chenle sighs, he's actually awake now. His eyes are shut but your exclamations of disbelief have woken him up with no chance of going back to sleep. You don't even notice as you laugh loudly and unapologetically.
His eyes are open now, in a cold, hard glare, but he's glaring at your back. He loves your voice, your laugh especially, but he could do without the loud sound waking him up. Maybe if you asked him up with soft giggles and kisses, not the sound of your friend screaming from the speaker. You start to speak again, "I mean he totally deserved it he jus- mmmm mmmm."
Chenle has pressed a hand over your mouth and snatched the phone from your hand. Your friend is still talking, so loud, as he hangs up. He looks at you with an unimpressed look, "do you know what time it is?"
"It's seven twe-" you start to say.
"Exactly," Chenle tuts, "it's seven in the morning. It's our day off. I— we, should be asleep."
"I didn't mean to wake you, baby. I'm sorry, I got carried away. Go back to sleep. I'll be quiet," you promise sympathetically, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Chenle burrows under the warmth of the covers once again, but feels the bed shift and suddenly most of the warmth was gone. He pries his eyes open with a frown, "where are you going?"
Your face is one of confusion, "I don't want to keep you awake any longer and I'm not tired anymore. I was going to go make coffee.”
"Oh, so you wake me up and now you deprive me of cuddles?" he sasses back in genuine shock.
“Well, I was also going to call my friend back—”
Chenle groans loudly with a pout, “just say you hate me! You can call later! Cuddle me now!”
You laugh softly, crawling beneath the covers once more and allowing him to pull you against his chest, “you’re so bossy.”
“Shhh!” He hisses, “no more talking. I’m sleeping.”
#kpop imagines#kpop au#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#nct#nct imagines#nct x reader#nct fluff#nct timestamp#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream timestamps#nct dream fluff#chenle imagines#chenle x reader#chenle fluff#chenle timestamps#chenle blurb#chenle scenarios
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texting Stan and Ford headcanons
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Stan Pines
✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.
✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.
✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”
✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”
✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”
✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”
✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.
✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"
types of messages Stan texts:
"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"
“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"
"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."
"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"
"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"
“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”
"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”
"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."
“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ford Pines
✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.
✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."
✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.
✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."
✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.
✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments
✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”
types of messages Ford texts:
“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."
sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”
“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”
“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."
"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose?
“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"
"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."
"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”
ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL
lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))
#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#x reader#gravity falls#gravity falls smut#ford pines x reader#ford pines smut#stan pines smut#stan pines x reader#stan pines x oc#stan pines x you#ford pines x you#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#gravity falls headcanons
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i'm literally so flattered by this. i wish i'd come up with a more thought-out argument so i could properly fight your student. i can do the counterargument now if you'd like.
i'm not scared of generative ai. i'm genuinely concerned for the impact it'll have on the neurological development of young people if they become overexposed to the instant gratification of "bringing their ideas to life" and never practice or develop the skills and labour actually associated with creating something from nothing. it means that if the ai gives you dogshit (and it will), you don't have the ability to fix it, because you're so alienated from the process of creating (writing an essay, drawing a picture, organizing a playlist, composing a song, listening to and analyzing and summarizing the art you're examining) that you don't know what isn't working or how to make it work correctly. if you don't learn how to analyze, if you don't train your brain to do these things, they don't stop needing to be done. you will be dependant on ai, or on others to do these things for you. others, you can sometimes trust, but it really helps to be able to really grok the difference between a grifter, an ignorant person, and a person who knows what they're talking about -- and again, the more you alienate yourself from the construction of their arguments, the less you are able to take them apart and see what isn't adding up. and ai is dogshit, frequently incorrect and incapable of doing the small calculus the human brain can do (if you train it to) to tell the difference between quality of sources and reliability of data, so it should never be trusted, period.
the only part of this "new technology" that i'm scared of is based on a history of ideas that i have actually studied. historically, the more we alienate ourselves from the process of labour, the less we are able to grasp it as a reality, and the more people are able to use that fact to exploit us. if you look at, say, the paper coffee cup on your desk, really look at it. where did that come from? it didn't spring fully formed from someone's imagination. someone had to design the shape of that cup, engineer it so it could contain a hot beverage and keep it hot, come up with the sleeve to make sure the drinker could actually hold it, but there's even more to it than that. someone had to make the cup. someone had to source the paper (or the compound) for the body, the material for the lid, the glue that holds it together. someone had to harvest those materials, in whichever country they were sourced, and someone had to package them and transport them to the company responsible for assembling the cup. someone designed the logo and the pattern on the outside, and someone is monitoring the machine that prints those images on the cup. someone will be responsible for picking up the waste and transporting it to a recycling plant, or to the landfill where it'll end up. let's not even start on the drink inside it. farming, harvesting, shipping, receiving, assembling, serving. it takes time to manifest something, and you are in a position of immense privilege to not have to think about where it all comes from on a regular basis. but what happens when the supply lines get shut down? what happens when there's a failure of irrigation or something in the paper mill and the glue holding the paper together doesn't work? do you know? i don't, personally. but there is someone along the line whose job it is to know, and i appreciate the work they (probably aren't paid enough to) do so that i can grab a coffee on my way into my own work. i have to appreciate it because i know that if the process goes wrong somewhere, i have no fucking idea what to do about the problem.
but i'm not pretending to know. i'm not applying for a job at the papermill to work for pennies instead of someone who does know the perfect chemical makeup of coffee cup cardboard because i can order a ton of coffee cups online from amazon in bulk. that's why generative ai offends me. the work that goes into creating art and writing still has to be done, because all generative ai knows how to do is steal, and it doesn't steal like an artist. artists look at the works of others and think, oh, i see how they did that, i want to try doing that, and then they can, because they learned how to appreciate the process. they've actually worked, and practiced, and spent time engaging with the process step by step to create something they find pleasing. generative ai looks at art and spits out a copy by comparing one image to another and assuming based on Uncredited Data that sometimes, pictures have hands in them, and hands sort of look like this. and the computer doesn't have a goddamn clue how many fingers the hand has, or how to translate that data into a visual. you know what does? the human brain. you know what you can do instead of bemoaning that you, a high school junior, can't produce a rembrandt on your first try? you can actually try drawing something.
you can actually try to turn your ideas into a drawing. you can do research into how to make it look the way you want it to. who knows? you might actually have fun doing it. because the creative process can be fun! it isn't for everyone, but unless you actually sit down and try, you won't find out, and if it's not for you, you'll never grasp on that physical experiential level that the creative process is actually a lot of fucking work, and we should respect artists for being able to sit down and do it so we don't have to, same as we respect the farmers who grow our food or the plant workers who mix the slurry that becomes our coffee cup cardboard.
i'm not scared of spotify for pushing ai bullshit down my throat. more than anything, i'm kind of offended, because i do put a lot of work into my playlists, and i have a lot of fun doing it, because i like listening to music and analyzing lyrics and relating the themes of songs to my little characters. i took it so personally because i Want to be involved in the process. i'm paying spotify a lot of my real adult money to have access to music and the tools i can use to entertain this pastime of mine, and it's kind of fucked up that they're raising their monthly fee to fund a tool that makes me, the user of their product, motivated to use their product less. insulting, even. why should i pay more for a computer to do a worse job than me at Having Fun? making a playlist isn't even that fucking hard.
i'm just tired. stuff takes work to make. it takes care and time and effort to create something from nothing, and a lot of the time, the process is necessary to make the thing good, because it forces you to take the time you need to spot and fix mistakes. i hope by now that it's self-explanatory why i don't want an entire society run by a dipshit program that doesn't know how to do what it's doing and doesn't know how to solve the problems it creates faster than human hands could ever manage, and i hope the dipshit machine and the grifters who push it are inextricable from each other in the minds of anyone who's read this whole post. i don't want them to run society either, because they Know that generative ai sucks and can't do anything right, and they're still trying to tack it on to everything to devalue the labour of artists and make a quick buck for themselves.
the best quote i've ever seen about generative ai is "why should i bother reading something nobody bothered to write".
we are a social species. alienation from labour alienates us from each other, from our communities, and makes us feel alone. when we're alone, we're vulnerable down to our core psychology, and there are a lot of people out there who know better who want to take advantage of vulnerable people to manipulate society at large. they want to make money off of your suffering. they want to reduce you to a number for their own convenience so they can use the One Life You Have On Earth to play their own personal tycoon game and get a slightly higher score. they want you to spend less time having fun, creating art, spending time with your family, thinking about what they're Doing to you, so you don't ruin their good time. i'm not scared because it's new, i'm pissed because it's the same old late capitalist shit i've already been dealing with, and i'm sick of seeing it everywhere because it stands a very real chance of turning everyone's brains to even more detached-from-reality mush than late-stage capitalism already has already.
And, on top of all of that, spotify's algorithm sucks shit already, so why on earth would i want it to make my playlists for me. the other day i saw it put zombie by the cranberries on a halloween playlist. she doesn't know dickety shit about my ideas or vibes or anything. so
no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder
#loquor#seems ironic considering how i started the post but i'm really not looking to fight with anyone about this#i'm just worried for people. i'm worried for myself#long post
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Lucanis and Crows snippets, under a cut due to spoilers.
How would Viago and Teia react to a Crow Rook being romantically involved with Lucanis? "Teia is going to plan the wedding, and insist that Viago give Rook away at the ceremony. Viago will sigh dramatically, lecture Rook about it, and then spend a week picking out the right gloves to wear." [source]
With Rook romancing Lucanis, is it possible that Spite could become affection or benevolence? "Spite's basic aspect is defiance. He can be more or less difficult depending on influence (rebellion vs. vindictiveness, etc), but at his core he's always going to be a spirit of "NOPE"" [source]
Lucanis' mother was the heir apparent to House Dellamorte [source]
Does Spite have any kind of feeling about Rook? "Spite is fond of Rook in his own Spite-like way. He and Lucanis agree on the point of trusting Rook over and above other people or themselves. He does go to Rook for help with Lucanis, after all." [source]
For the Lion King reference in Murder of Crows, Mary Kirby went to the cinematic animators and described it as Illario's "Scar at Pride Rock" scene [source]
User: "I cut Lucanis' hair and shaved his beard and I almost feel like I should apologise to him" / Mary Kirby: "Now he can't tell himself from Illario, and you've given them both a complex." [source]
Teia and Viago were half-written by Mary Kirby and half-written by Luke Kristjanson [source]
Lucanis likes his coffee black [source]
Would he judge your coffee order? "As long as it's not boiled, or instant coffee, or whatever that stuff from a can is, he's fine with it. Or at least, he will only judge you silently for it." [source]
What kind of treats does Lucanis like? "Sweet, because it goes better with his coffee. Savory, if somehow he is NOT drinking coffee at that moment." [source]
Lucanis grew his beard and long hair while in the Ossuary. "He hasn't exactly had a haircut in a while." [source, two].
Would Lucanis make Powerpoint presentations about jobs or to talk? "No, he doesn't want to talk to anyone, let alone explain things and present them. That's 300% an Illario thing. That man has a powerpoint to introduce his powerpoint about why you should listen to his powerpoint." [source]
"Lucanis would never be on social media. He'd be on YouTube watching videos of people restoring rusty cutlery with no dialogue until four in the morning." [source] Could he tell when content is manufactured? "Yes. And he gets upset and finds Bellara or Neve (whichever is unluckier) to rant about it." [source]
Lucanis' favorite stove burner? Right front [source]
"Spite doesn't have any concept of physical appearances. It looks the way Lucanis sees himself. Lucanis is never relaxed, even in casual wear." [source]
Along with Lucanis Mary Kirby also wrote Spite [source]
Mary Kirby wrote Illario, Luke Kristjanson wrote the Crow faction quests [source]
Lucanis' perfect date night? "I'm gonna be honest: There is a non-zero chance it would involve assassinating somebody and getting coffee, and I'm not entirely certain which would come first." [source]
Lucanis "has so much [trauma] to sort through, and he could really use some help. Like, a Marie Kondo level of help with that." [source]
What sparks joy for Lucanis? "Coffee, paella, wyverns, knives, REDACTED, book club, REDACTED, revenge..." [source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#<- this is my spoiler tag#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost
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apologies ၄၃
𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ : angst to fluff | arguments | cursed words |
୨୧ : your boyfriend didn't replied to your texts and calls after leaving for a long mission.
Smau + written part below ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹
Satoru sighs in frustration. He hadn't replied to your texts and calls because he was way too busy with work and.. forgot about you. So when he saw your texts he knew he fucked up. He continued his day, trying act everything was normal. Teaching his students then going on other missions blag blah. As always he came home late. Instead of using keys he teleported to your sharing apartment. There he saw you talking with someone on the phone, maybe shoko? Utahime. (Yes)
"i don't think he'll come home tonight" you sighed while talking on the phone, you were wearing on of his shirt, eyes puffy wnd tears stained cheeks, you didn't noticed satoru
"if you're not his top priority just leave him already"
"you don't understand,utahime. He didn't meant it like that but.."
"but what?"
"the way he told me i am not his top priority and if i don't understand i should just leave him,i don't know what to say but i got hurted so bad.."
With that you walked off to bedroom. You didn't noticed him standing Infront of your main door. The dinner left cold on the table. He felt guilty but didn't said anything. He got day off for few days. He sighed. He knew you wouldn't talk to him until all the anger you have disappeares.
-
He puts your portion of the food in the fridge after finishing his dinner. And then lays down on the couch , too scared to enter your room for now since he heard you sobbing there..he felt way more guilty than before but..he wasn't confident enough to approach you now. He sighed, thinking of ways you could forgive him. all the thinking took the best of him and then finally he fell asleep
You woke up a little later than usual,when you came out of your room and you saw satoru sleeping on the couch. You frowned seeing him like that. All you could do was covering him up with a blanket in the cold room. You called yaga asking if satoru got a day off or not,so when you heard he got few days for himself you sighed in relief. Leaving a simple breakfast with a too sweet coffee for satoru before you left for your work. Teaching the students as always, sparring and doing the usual things . But you were still sad about how satoru behaved with you yesterday. You weren't able to see him and now you ended up making things even messier. You don't know how you will greet him when you get home. After the long day when you finally arrived your shared apartment,you hear some noices coming from kitchen,when you go to check whats going on there you see satoru cooking something,hes face slightly covered in flour. A cake in the oven. Him trying to make steak for you on the other side. His six eyes immediately noticed you, looking at you with a nervous smile.
"sweets..your too early.." he mumbles, trying to find any kind of anger on your face. You sigh,trying not smile at him
"what are you doing.." you said as you make your way to satoru standing beside him with a soft frown on your face
Satoru sighed, finally giving you his full attention.
"i just wanted to apologise..for yesterday by...making you a dinner.." he pouted slightly, looking down. Looking like a puppy caught stealing food. He thought you'd say something like 'fuck off' but instead he hears a soft giggle, when he looks up fully he sees a soft smile on your face. You hand covering your mouth "your lucky iam not mad" when heard you say that it felt like a heavy weight got off of his back. He attacked you with a bone crushing hug with kisses and multiple 'sorry's about yesterday. You couldn't stop smiling,cheeks hurting from smiling actually, just like satoru. You helped him with making dinner. You don't know when was the last time you had a proper dinner with him. It doesn't matters now. All that matters right now is satoru.
#jjk smau#jjk x you#jjk x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru#trending#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk fluff#satoru smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru smau#smau#gojo angst#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo imagine#viral
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HC: Lucanis and Spite in a Relationship
I am so down bad for this stoic Crow and his quirky demon, so this is what I think they would be like in a relationship.
Lucanis might not visibly respond when you flirt with him but his thoughts are going a mile a minute on the inside
He is so protective, always on guard in your defense, no threat is too big if it means keeping you safe
He remembers the little things about you: favorite foods, small habits, how you like your coffee or tea, which shoe you put on first things like that
If Lucanis is protective then Spite is possessive. Nothing can have you, nothing but them and Maker help anything that stands in the way
You are always welcome among the Crows, Lucanis would have it no other way, if you are there you are shown respect
Spite will state your mood by explaining how you smell to Lucanis, something that is a bit odd but he uses to know what you need
Lucanis likes to buy you little things, if he sees something you may like he picks it up. Spite does this as well but he chooses the oddest things. What do you mean you don't need an eye-patch, everyone likes eye-patches!?
Lucanis is a cuddler, he sleeps best pressed up against you, his face close to yours, his body closest to the door
Spite finds out you like to watch his wings and now they are around all the time, if you kiss in public he uses his wing to screen you from view
The wealth of the Dellamorte family is at your disposal, you are welcome to the estate and all the amenities that are on it. Lucanis likes nothing more to see you sitting in the gardens or enjoying any of the rooms in his family home
His grandmother takes to you, even if she pretends not to at first. She becomes the kind of woman that drawls about having/adopting grandchildren and makes sure that your clothing fits right
Lucanis doesn't have to worry about Spite wandering him off when he is asleep, because Spite only wants to be with you. He'll stay in the room you're sleeping in, on guard or entertaining himself in some way
He shares his coffee cup with you and you alone
In true Crow fashion and especially because he has someone to show off for Lucanis makes sure to always be well dressed, hair brushed, beard trimmed
Spite gets irritable if he goes too long without the chance to talk to you himself
Wherever you are from Lucanis makes sure to learn recipes that you will have known from your culture and takes a great deal of pleasure in cooking for you personally
He gets a certain thrill out of you wearing his clothes, doesn't matter what it is. Spite likes it just as much.
Over time Lucanis gets more blunt with his flirting, usually accompanied by his dry humor
Though he does not like to be touched, you are the exception, the only one he doesn't flinch away from
Lucanis likes to mutter exit strategies in your ear when entering a new space so you're prepared for a fight
You bought him a knife and now it is his prized possession that he keeps on him all the time
Spite makes it his goal to make you laugh, telling strange jokes that don't tend to land on others but work on you
If you are harmed, Lucanis and Spite both agree that the only course of action is to make them pay in blood
#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#datv#dragon age the veil guard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#datv headcanons
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Hope you're doing well. Just wanted to ask the genie for one wish... to swap bodies with my dumb sweaty bear of a roommate. We couldn't be more different, I'm a clean twink-ish comp sci major and I don't even know what he's majoring in cause all he does is eat, game, and work out. I complain about his lifestyle but secretly... I'm jealous. Jealous of how little he cares about grades or hygiene. Only caring about muscles and sports. I just want to know what it'd be like to be in his shoes for once even for a day. Then he'd be the one complaining to me about how much the house stinks and I'd be the one without a care in the world.
Took me a while to even see this one, but sure your wish is my command a big muscled sweaty bear who stinks? easy enough. first you start with your muscle mass, slowly pumping up, splitting through your shirt, growing more and more by the second, you can't help but flex and worship yourself as your muscles expand to freakish proportions.
its almost impossible for you to keep your hands off yourself as you moan in pleasure wanting more, to grow bigger, to get bigger,
soon a thick beard starts to grow from your jawline making you look like a beefed up lumberjack who works out non stop. A potent BO fills the room as your pits grow damp and start to stink, sweat drips down from them trailing your lats making you look like you just finished a workout.
You feel heavy trying to haul around your big muscular body, which doesnt help with the sweat, each step is an effort in itself causing you to sweat. You feel the fabric of your underwear strain and get wet around your groin and in between your ass as your body over produces sweat.
You begin to huff, each movement you perform leaving you out of breath. As you sit down the the couch to take a break you feel the cold wetness as the fabric absorbs your sweat.
A moment of peace passes as you try and catch your breath then your stomach growls. You do remember you wished to be a bear? six pack abs aren't very fitting.
You gut grows tight and you moan in pain as it growls, before long it starts to puff forward, looking bloated before shortly being covered in a layer of fat and hair.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP
you belch without warning, the powerful smell of protein feels the room and you look down to see the new you.
Big and Bulky are the words that best describe you now. A giant bodybuilder covered in a winter layer of fat, a true muscle bear.
Suddenly your door swings open as your roommate walks in. You expected to see the beast you'd gotten used to living with but instead a clean cut jock walked through the door carrying a pizza, protein shake and a box of chocolate muffins. You threw them down on the coffee table in front of you.
"got you what you asked for dude" instantly without saying thanks, your dove for the food alternating between shoving multiple slices of pizza in your mouth and chugging the protein shake, the shake dripped down the side of your lips and ran onto your chest.
"god how do you live like this you freak"
Hearing his words made your ears perk up, but not enough for you to stop eating.
"you are such a fucking slob dude"
You dick suddenly became hard hearing him insult you.
"and your fucking reek, jesus christ, you eat like a monster, stink like 40 gyms combined and have such a grotesque amount of muscle on your body"
Instantly you blew your load into your underwear hearing him talking about how much of a fucking slob you are.
You'd never felt so turned on, being so big, being so hungry, being humiliated by such a hot guy.
you had forgotten you even made a wish to begin with, and were ready to spend your life as a beasty bear.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP
#male transformation#muscle#muscle transformation#male tf#tf story#transformation#reality change#musk#gay transformation
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instagram feeds - mgg x snl cast member gf ⭐️
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hey guyss so this is not the promised piece because im still working hard and hardly working BUT i am happy with this sort of trailer for concept 😌
all pictures are taken from Pinterest but collages made by me !
instagram feed concept entirely inspired by @gibson-g1rl i love your insta aus 💗💗
hope you enjoy and i cannottt wait to get the full works out xx
y/ny/l/nforreal
❤️112k 💬 9k | liked by gublergram, marcellohdz and others
y/ny/l/nforreal not a moment of peace in this office @snl
marcellohdz: who is that dashing gentleman in the first pic
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: @marcellohdz idk I think it’s Colin Jost?
longfellow_michael: YOU are the reason there’s no peace.
❤️ by author
—> egonwodim: longfellow_michael disrespect my baby one more time. 😡
martinherlihy: Hey so I think you put the wrong selfie because I’m not in that one lol 😂😂
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: Noo i dont fink so
criminalmindsfanatic: MATTHEW LIKED???
—> hotchqueen4: HELLO??
—>mggrumple: THR FRIENDSHIP WE NEVER KNEW WE NEEDED
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mggupdates
❤️8k 💬358
mggupdates: Matthew with mystery girl in New York City, rumored to be comedian and SNL cast member y/n y/l/n
y/nfan: YUPPP THOSE ARE HER NAILS AND SHE HAS THAT RING!!!
—> unknown9495: @y/nfan I noticed that too!!
mggy/nfanclub: someone posted that they saw them it’s def her!!!
—>user63: @mggy/nfanclub pls tag me omg
movieluvr: livinggg for this friendship/relationship 😫
—> girlpwr88: @movieluvr46 i want him so bad
—> prncsspch: @girlpwr88 him?? I want HER
spencerreidswife: we lost him guys 💔
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y/ny/l/nforreal
❤️ 116k 💬 13k | liked by gublergram, marcellohdz and others
y/ny/l/nforreal recently in nyc
marcellohdz: sonny ANGEL 💜
—>y/ny/l/nforreal: @marcellohdz you need to be stopped
gublergram: rubber duck
❤️ liked by author
—> randomuser281: @gublergram MGG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??
—> whore4spencerreid: @gublergram HUH??
—> mggstan: @gublergram oh they for suree dating
—> spencerreid2005: @mggstan they could also just be good friends??
—> emilyprentissfan0: @randomuser281 someone PLEASE tell me if they’re dating
janewickline: coffee dates with my wife >>>
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: @janewickline marry me.
—> janewickline: @y/ny/l/nforreal I do. 💍
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y/ny/l/nforreal
❤️106k 💬18k | liked by y/ny/l/nforreal, yourbsfuser and others
y/ny/l/nforreal my friend wrote a book and it is quite nice. now he’s giving free copies out on his book tour which is why he’s broke anyways go read 💚
gublergram: thank you y/n this is the best publicity I’ve ever recieved!
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: @gublergram sure thing do you need a money loan too
—>yourbsfuser: @y/ny/l/nforreal Y/N 😭😭😭
—>spencerreidwhore: she ends him every day and I love to see it
y/nfancentral23: BROKE SHE CAME FOR HIM BYEEE
user18834: FRIEND?? we were all ROOTING for you 💔💔
randomuser: can we talk about how cute it is that she’s promoting his book 🥹🥹
—>matthewy/nshipper: @randomuser890 IK I love them so bad 😭
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gublergram
❤️382k 💬30k | liked by y/ny/l/nforreal, kirstenvangsness and others
gublergram you make me laugh every day. maybe it’s because you’re a comedian im not sure happy birthday 😊
y/ny/l/nforreal: wow thanks get rid of these pictures
—>gublergram: @y/ny/l/nforreal no
cmaddict: he’s def so in love with her omg
—> snlbiggestfan: @cmaddict1 I meannn who wouldn’t be
—>randomuser: THE it couple I love them so bad
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gublergram
❤️300k 💬27k | liked by y/ny/l/nforreal, aubreyplaza and others
gublergram bet you didn’t know y/n is also a professional makeup artist. i look spookier than ever @y/ny/l/nforreal
y/ny/l/nforreal: I just screamed
❤️ by author
cmfan3747: stoppp she’s doing his gublerween makeup now 🥹🥹
—> hater123 @cmfan3747 she’s almost 20 years younger than him. mad weird
—>yourshipnamestan @hater123 so they’re both adults hope this helps! ❤️
y/nfandom45: when is it my turn for a relationship like theirs 💔💔
—>user284: real asf 😖
—>troller293: so you want an inappropriate relationship with an inappropriate age gap?
—>user48: bro shut up
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y/ny/l/nforreal
❤️130k 💬 22k | liked by gublergram, marcellohdz and others
y/ny/l/nforreal it appears your smile has always been contagious. happy birthday old man
gublergram ❤️
gublergram: old man? i retract my previous comment.
❤️ by author
bsfsusername: THE LAST PIC HELLO
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: @yourbestfriendsuser the og hitch hiking ant
marcellohdz: gross ushy gushy caption delete this
—> y/ny/l/nforreal: @marcellohdz I still love you!
—> marcellohdz: @y/ny/l/nforreal better. 😊
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mgg x SNL cast member tag list <3
@sarcasm-and-stiles @mystargirl-interlude @rubyirene @ashrrams @ghostatrixx @forevermorepassionate @saint-boudica @reidmarieprentiss @awakeforu @spencerlicious @kittycat-april @baudarling @delusional-4-fake-people @avenlymars @angelinajolie0213 @arusio @littleslayofhorrors @jezabelle9299 @jaemnationnn
#spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fandom#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x you#mgg#mgg x reader#mgg fanfiction#mgg fluff#mgg x snl cast member
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HII are ur requests open? I love ur writing style sm that I actually wanted to requesthswiwjwo it's my first time,, Can I request a platonic Alastor x toddler!daughter where she was his biological daughter when he was alive but she died first due to being murdered(due to some enemies of alastor that were jealous of him)? And like, after many decades, he and Charlie visits heaven right?? What if he spots his little girl, but she doesn't recognize him because of his demon form ? 🥹
Dearly Departed
Thank you for my third ever request!!! I'm sorry this took a while the election lowkey made me have a breakdown. I'm very happy with how this turned out!
Alastor x Toddler Daughter Reader (PLATONIC!!!)
Summary: A look into the past life with Alastor and his beloved little girl that he holds most dear. However, when her life is taken far too soon, Alastor is given the chance to see her once more.
Warning!!: child death
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
Another day has just begun, the sun was shining its morning hue, birds were flapping their wings as they gather breakfast for their chicks, quite like how Alastor was doing right now.
The sizzling of the bacon is music to his ears as he looks towards the stairs. “Sweetheart?!” Alastor yells, “Come down and get your breakfast!” He hears the pitter patter of feet running on the floorboards. “Don’t run in the house my dear!” He calls once more.
Eventually you make it down the stairs, “Sorry papa!” You hold your hair ribbon in your hand as Alastor looks down at you with your hair in disarray.
“What on earth have you done to your hair!?” He turns the knob off the stove and bends down to your level, “Now, now this won’t do!” Alastor shakes his head, “Come along now darling.” He picks you up and goes back to your room upstairs.
Alastor sets you down on your chair by the vanity, grabbing your brush and tending to your hair.
“This papa! I want this on my hair!” You show him your red hair ribbon, “Please!!”.
“I’ll see what I can do!”
You giggle as he kisses your cheek.
“Almost done now cher!” Alastor puts the final touch on your hair by placing the ribbon he recently bought you. Lately all you been doing is requesting that he put that ribbon on you. “I love, love, love this ribbon papa! I want to wear it forever and ever!” you had said to him when he showed you.
Alastor smooths down your hair one final time, “There you are! All done! Can’t having you look all messy now, can we?” He laughs.
“Thank you, papa!” You jump off the chair and race down the stairs.
“No, no my dear what have I said about running in the house? You could fall!”
“Whoops sorry papa!” You stand at the end of the stairs, “I’m just happy today!” Alastor picks you up again.
“And why is that my dear?” He walks towards the dining table and places you in your seat.
“My teacher says we get to go on a trip today!” Alastor finishes up the meal he was cooking, for you, two pancakes with a slice of bacon and side of scrambled eggs for him… just a cup of coffee.
“Really now, why was I not made aware of this?” He places the plate in front of you.
You shovel some of the eggs into your mouth, “I did-“
“Don’t talk with your mouth full darling.” He hands you a napkin as you drink your water.
“I did tell you papa! And you signed the papers on Tuesday remember!?”
Ah yes, he does remember signing something for you. “Where is your teacher taking you again my child?”
You take the slice of bacon in you hand, “She said that we are going to be looking at the.. the flowers and rocks for our science class in forest where that big”, You take a bite out of the bacon, “bridge is.”
“My that sounds like it will be a lovely trip.”
“Mhmmm!” You finish up your meal, “Thank you for the food papa!”
Your books were already ready at the door by the table since Alastor knows you might forget them, “Wash your hands my dear!”
“Okay!”
Alastor laughs slightly as he sees you scurry off to the sink while holding your books in his hands.
“All done papa!” You reach for his hand.
“Are you sure you have everything you need my dear?”
“Mhmm! Gots everything!” You tell him while jumping slightly on your tip toes.
Alastor takes your hand as you both walk to his vehicle, placing you in your seat then taking his.
“Now my dear, when you get to that forest, I want you to stay by your teachers side no matter what.” Alastor looks at you in rearview mirror. “Don’t you go anywhere without telling anyone.”
“I won’t!” You say while kicking your feet.
Alastor parks the car by the school, steps out and picking you up placing you in his arms.
“Look, look there’s my teacher! Oh! Look papa, there’s Jamie! Hi Jamie!!” You wave your hand to your friend.
“Yes, yes I do see them my dear.” You start to wiggle in his arms. “But you do remember what we talked about in the car, hmmmm?”
“Yes I remember papa.. I will stay by the teacher and….. I’ll…”
“You will tell someone where you are going.”
“Yes! I’ll tell someone where I am going!”
“Good girl.” He places you down in front of the school doors.” I love you my darling.” He kisses your forehead.
“Love you too papa!!” You hug him one final time, “Bye papa!” You wave him goodbye as you catch up with your friends.
“Goodbye my darling! I’ll be here to pick you up as soon as school is out!
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
As Alastor drives away he fails to notice two men watching him closely or more importantly watching his daughter.
“That’s him, right?” asks the one with blonde hair.
The one next to him breaths out smoke, “Yeah that’s the fucker.”
“Shouldn’t we follow him?”
“No.” The man taps his cigar on the window.
“Why the hell not?”
“We are going after his brat.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to just kill him instead?” The tattered blonde man asks, sounding a bit worried.
“Nah, that fucker has the audacity to ruin our business, our fucking fun and for what? That shitty radio host needs to pay.”
“But that’s a kid..”
The smoker looks at him, “Are you a pussy Johnny? Too afraid to kill a fucking kid?”
“I-I’m not.”
“Then man the fuck up. The boss wants this done.”
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
“Okay children! Remember stay close to me and pay close attention!” Mrs. Amber, your teacher, says. “Today will be picking up a few rocks to bring back to our class for our geology work. You may pick a few by the lake but don’t go into the water. As for the flowers you make gather some of every color.” Mrs. Amber passes some plastic bags, “You can put the rocks you find into the bag.”
“Okay everyone you may gather your rocks and flowers now! Just stay where I can see you and come back here when I call you!”
“Yes ma’am!” a chorus of children say.
You begin your pick of the rocks, picking out the most shiny, exotic ones. “Oooo this one can be for papa.” You say as you pick out a red one, placing it in the bag. You manage to gather a total of nine rocks. “Now for flowers!” You see your classmates’ carrying loads of flowers.
You turn your head to see if there are any flowers left on the ground as soon as your about to reach for one a girl, Vicky Valentine, snatches it away from you.
“Hey! I was going to grab that one!”
“HA well you snooze you lose Y/n!” She sneers at you and walks away.
You huff and look around once more and there you spot it, in the darker part of the forest there with its orange color reminding you of a sunset. “So pretty…” But the flower is nowhere near where your teacher can see you. “It’ll just be a second.” You promise yourself. “I’ll grab it and go…”
“Tell someone where you’re going darling…” You hear your papa’s voice in your head.
“Hmmmmmm…. I’ll only be a second!” you tell yourself as you walk over to the flower.
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
“Get ready Johnny… and stop your fucking shaking.”
The forest seemed to get darker, almost as if it was closing in on the little girl.
She picked up the flower.
“NOW!”
Johnny grabbed the girl as she screamed.
“Shut your fucking mouth!” The smoker smacks the girl in her face. “Hurry up!”
The girl begins to punch but they mean nothing. “SHUT HER UP DAMNIT!” The orange flower falls.
Johnny grabs the girl by her neck pushing her to the ground, tightening his grip. She tries to push him away, scratching his face.
He feels it before he hears it. The snap. The crack. The lifeless look in the girl’s eyes.
He never bothered to learn the girl’s name.
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
“WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER!? You were supposed to be watching her!!”
“I know Mr. Hartfelt I’m sorry b-but once we heard the scream I g-gathered all the children away I-I’m so s-sorry!” Mrs. Amber cries out.
“Mr. Hartfelt please calm down!” The principle tries to tell him.
“NO! My daughter isn’t here… SO DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” He starts to breathe heavily. Alastor runs back to his car, passing all the parents holding their children, driving over the speed limit heading to the forest where they left you, how… how dare they leave you behind.
He feels the tears going down his face but quickly wipes them away.
Alastor swerves as he makes it to the trail of the darkening forest. He races out of the car calling out your name.
“Where are you?!”
“Darling! Please answer me!”
“Y/N?!”
There in the shadow of darkness lays a body.
He treads there carefully almost as if his body was moving on its own.
An orange flower lays near your hand, a bag of rocks in your other, your eyes are shot open. Fear. There is, no, there was fear in your eyes.
His legs sink down to the ground, almost consuming him.
“Darling….?” His hands caress your face. “No…no… no” Alastor pulls your body to his, wrapping his arms around you, cradling the body of his beloved daughter, rocking her as if she still were a baby. “My daughter….” Tears began to fall down to your face.
Your life taken too soon, his darling daughter, his little girl, the light to his darkness was now gone forever.
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
PRESENT DAY
“Why did we have to bring Alastor with us?”
Vaggie walks beside Charlie as they begin their tread towards heaven’s gates.
“Well, he’s a big part of the reason why we have the hotel in the first place! And I believe he is here for… moral support!”
Alastor pats Vaggie’s head “Easy now! It’s not like I’m here for anyone’s souls! Ha-ha!!” Vaggie immediately pulls his hand away from here and sneers.
“You better not cause any trouble here!”
“Vaggie calm down please!”
“I am simply here for Charlie’s sake! Besides I might not ever get to see heaven so I might as well indulge myself for the time begin! Ha-ha”
As Saint Peter begins to search for Charlie’s name Alastor’s mind begins to wander.
Truthfully Alastor could care less about supporting the princess at this very moment. While the hotel might be his little passion project for now, he came here for one reason only. His daughter. The memory of his little girl flashes in his mind. Always happy. Always so lively. He wonders if he’ll get to see her here today. Of course, there’s no doubt in his mind that his daughter is in heaven. There would have been no reason for her to be in hell. But he still checked anyways. In the end, however he was glad he didn’t find her. She deserves to be in heaven, but she should have never been taken from him far too soon.
The little angel finally opens the gates alongside two others who appeared to be seraphims. Everything truly is brighter here as they say.
While the little seraphim speaks to Charlie, Alastor scans around the area with a stretched grin…… and there she was.
There.
Right there was a little girl with a red ribbon tied to her hair. His little girl, Y/n…
He watches as she laughs with the other small angels as they play in the grassy area surrounded by different colored flowers.
Alastor walks over to the carefully….why do his legs feel shaky? He hears Vaggie call out to him but doesn’t bother turning around.
“Hello there! My, my you seem to be having quite the afternoon here!” He tells the little angels with a wide grin. The two next to you fly off but you stay there staring at him with a smile.
“Yes! I’m having fun!!”
“How delightful my child!” He says as he pats your head.
You giggle, “Do you want one mister?” you say handing him a bright orange flower.
Mister? Do you not recognize him? “Darling… its me.”
You tilt your head, “Huh? I don’t think I know you mister….” You look at his face and set your sights on the top of his head or rather his ears. “Hey! You’re just like me!” you say while pointing at his ears and touching yours.
Alastor’s smiles softens, “I do believe we are similar….would you like to feel them darling?”
“Yes! Yes! Please!!” You jump up from your spot on the ground, excitement running through your body.
Alastor chuckles, “Alright then,” he picks you up and you immediately touch his ears.
“There sooo fluffly!!” you giggle once more.
Alastor hums and brings you closer to him, wanting to give you a hug…. If you do not recognize him… then this what he’ll settle for….
He hears his name called once more and gives a huff.
“Alastor! What are you doing?! Put that angel down and get over here!! Now!!” Vaggie yells, startling the other angels passing by.
Charlie pats her lovers’ shoulder and walks to Alastor.
“Alastor we should be heading to our rest area now!” Charlie grins slightly, hoping not to panic the little angel that Alastor is holding.
Your hands come to a stop, “You… have the same name as my papa…”
Charlie’s eyes widen.
Alastor holds you tighter, “I suppose I do…” his radio voice turned off.
“I miss him a lot… I hope he’s not mad at me for not following his rules…” You begin to sniffle.
“He’s not mad at you…. he could never be mad at you.” He feels his legs collapse to the ground.
“I don’t know where he is…..” You sob holding on to Alastor.
“He’s right here… I’m right here…”
You look up at the deer man in front of you, tilting your head… “Papa?”
Alastor closes his a for a second then reopens them to look down at you, you with your bright red ribbon, with your tearful gaze.
“Y/n… yes its me.”
“Papa!!” You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug, sobbing. “I’m sorry…. so s-s-sorry! I didn’t mean t-to leave I s-swear… I’m sorry!!”
He pulls you closer, “Don’t be sorry don’t ever be sorry.”
Charlie watches from behind, hands wiping her tears away as Vaggie stands in shock.
He knows that he may never see you again after today… but just knowing that your safe and nothing bad can every happen to you is all that he needs to hear. No matter how much he wants you to stay with him. He knows that this moment is only a moment. He’ll have to go back down to hell… he’ll have to be separated from you once more. Maybe he’ll change his mind about redemption, but that of course will not work on him. So for this moment and this moment only will he hold his daughter tighter than ever before and dream that he stays here with her forevermore.
•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.
I hope you liked this, almost started tearing up towards the end! Thank you so much for requesting again hopefully this is what you meant!
Requests are open !!!
Wordcount: 2609
#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel angst#alastor angst#alastor the radio demon#alastor x daughter reader#x reader#hazbin hotel child reader#hazbin hotel x child reader#hazbin hotel platonic#platonic
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Hi!! I had surgery a few weeks ago and I’m definitely hitting a wall mentally. I’ve been so sad with recovery and I’m so exhausted and cranky (unfortunately). I was wondering if you could write an emt!marauders or poly!marauders w reader going through that?? Thank you! Your writing has been a huge comfort for me during this time 🩷
Hi lovely! I realize it's been a while since you sent this so I hope you're feeling much much better now! Thanks for requesting <3
cw: post-op recovery, shoulder injury
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 727 words
James enters the bedroom to witness three stages of wakefulness. There’s Remus where he left him, fluffy haired and squinty eyed scrolling through his phone. One of Remus’ hands is toying idly with the ends of Sirius’ hair, who’s still dead asleep next to him, on his stomach with his face pushing into the pillow (James has never been able to figure out how he can breathe like that). Then there’s you, just sitting up with a groan and a sour look on your face. His angel.
“Here, love.” James sets the coffee he’d brought for Remus on the nightstand, making sure the handle is facing him. Remus’ thanks is croaky with drowsiness, his smile gentle. James says to you, “Morning. How’d you sleep?”
“Hard,” you mumble. You shrug your one shoulder experimentally, and grimace. “Too hard.”
Remus makes a sympathetic sound, looking at you over the rim of his mug. “Did you sleep on it wrong?”
“No.” You sound a tad defensive. “I was on my back all night.”
Remus hums. “This is what happens when you don’t do your stretches at night, dovey.”
You scowl. James ruffles Remus’ hair. “Be nice,” he chides. “You could do some stretching now, angel.”
Sirius makes a disgruntled sleepy sound, rolling onto his side to wrap his arms around your waist. He settles his head contentedly on the plushness of your thigh. “Everyone shut up,” he grumbles. “And stop getting up.”
“We’re not getting up,” James placates him. “She’s only doing her stretches.”
“But it hurts,” you whine.
“That’s why you do your stretches, sweetheart.” Remus gives you a look.
James can feel you getting irritated. You’ve been recovering from your surgery for weeks now, and you’re growing exhausted not only with all the things you can’t do with your shoulder but also all the things you have to do to build back its strength and mobility. He goes to the dresser as you slump forward into your own lap, hapless.
“Come on,” he laughs, tossing you your towel. “You can start with the towel one first. That one’s fit.”
You look up at James. “It is not.”
“Y’always look good, babe,” Sirius mumbles into your thigh.
“See? And extra good when you stretch your arms like that.”
“He’s dead to the world.” You roll your eyes, though you’re petting Sirius’ hair fondly. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
Still, you sigh and pick up the towel when Remus nudges it towards you pointedly, rolling your neck in preparation. James feels a bit of warmth come to his face (he was only partly joking about how attractive you are when you stretch).
It’s a bit difficult for you at first, clearly, the result of growing a bit lax about your stretches over the past few days. James can see Remus’ lips press together like he’s physically restraining himself from commenting on it. A low whine builds in your throat.
“There you go,” says Sirius in a salacious tone. James is beginning to suspect he’s more awake than he’s letting on. “Tell us how you really feel, sweetheart.”
“This is so pointless,” you grumble. “It’s too lame to do anything.”
“Don’t say that,” James chides you. It’s not his intention to make you feel like you can’t vent to them, but James is firmly of the belief that ceasing negative talk will eventually lead to an abatement of negative thoughts. “It’s working, you just need to give it time. You’re tons better than you were a couple of weeks ago, right?”
“If you mean I can pick up an empty soda can,” you say drily, “then yes.”
“That is what I mean. Empty soda cans are a big step.”
“It’s a process,” Remus tells you in a more placating tone. “You can’t expect to be all the way better overnight. Especially not if you’re not doing your stretches.”
You don’t miss the judgment threaded through that last bit, your expression turning sour again. Sirius appears to sense this without opening his eyes. He hugs you around the middle, smearing a kiss over your thigh.
“You’ll get there, lovie,” says James. “And hey, if it’ll help, I can sit with you while you do your stretches every day. I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
Remus snorts, and Sirius mumbles something into your skin that sounds like “I’ll bet you wouldn’t.”
#poly!marauders#poly marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders hurt/comfort#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders scenario#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders one shot#poly!marauders oneshot#james potter#james potter x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#marauders x reader
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SVT when you can't sleep
Requested? No! (But they are still open!)
Genre: Comfort
A/N: This is entirely self-indulgent because I woke up at 3:45am and couldn’t go back to sleep. For this reason, please forgive any typos or mistakes.
Seungcheol
Deeply disturbed when he finds that you are not next to him in bed. Gives it a few minutes, thinking you might have just gotten up to go to the bathroom or get some water, but when the time ticks by, he gets up to find you on the couch, watching TV. “Baby, what are you doing up?” He’ll ask concerned, glancing at the clock. When you say you woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, he’s plopping onto the couch with you, making you curl into him. You feel bad because he needs his sleep, but he’ll brush you off, saying he’ll stay up with you any night. You do eventually doze off in his warmth while reruns of some sitcom play on the TV and he’ll carefully carry you back to bed.
Jeonghan
He feels you tossing and turning for what feels like hours. He’s tired and maybe even a little bit irritable when he touches your back, asking why you’re still up. He immediately feels bad for his irritability when you say you’re sorry, but that you had a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep. He’s tugging you into his side, patting your head in a ‘there, there’ sort of motion, asking you to tell him all about it. It becomes clear that you’re not going back to sleep anytime soon, but that’s okay, because he’ll just lie there next to you and talk, no matter how drowsy he is.
Joshua
Seems to have a sixth sense about when you get out of bed. You’ve barely got your slippers on before he’s asking where you’re going. When you say you just can’t sleep, he looks at the time, which is somewhere around 4am. He shrugs, getting out of bed as well, despite your insistence that he needs his sleep. He starts the coffee pot and gets a skillet out to make breakfast and you’re resigned to the fact that you both are now up for the day. He doesn’t have any complaints, not even when you both are dozing on the couch by 2pm.
Jun
When he realizes that you never actually got to sleep and are just laying in bed scrolling at nearly 1am, Jun simply takes the phone out of your hands and puts it back on the charger. “Play a game with me. Eye spy with my little eye…” You have to laugh because, well, it’s totally dark in the room now. But you play along because everything in your bedroom is familiar to you, even in the dark. You’re kind of touched at how aware of the little things in your room he is, even if he doesn’t live here (yet). Like he knows that you left a blue sweatshirt on the back of your vanity chair, or that there is little green detailing on your jewelry box. You doze off by about the tenth round and Jun keeps quiet after that.
Hoshi
He comes home late from practice and finds that you’re still awake, tossing and turning, and he’s concerned. When you say you just haven’t been able to settle down, he thinks for a split second and says, “Well, I was about to shower. Come with me, maybe the warmth will help.” There’s absolutely nothing suggestive about the idea. He even washes your hair for you, letting you relax as he scratches your scalp for way longer than was probably necessary. You’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Now showering before bed, especially with him, is a regular occurrence to wind down.
Wonwoo
When he rolls over in the middle of the night to find that your beside lamp is still on and you’re still reading, he glances at the clock and then raises an eyebrow. “Must be a good book,” he mumbles. When you hum and tell him that it’s actually not, but you just can’t sleep, he’s sitting up next to you, leaning against the headboard. “Just how bad could it be?” He doesn’t acknowledge the ‘can’t sleep’ comment out loud, plucking the book from you and reading to you. He has to admit, the book does kind of suck, but he’s relieved to see that you’ve dozed off to the sound of his voice within a couple chapters.
Woozi
He knows your sleeping habits and also notices some of the things that don’t help it. But he’s hesitant to correct you, so he tries correcting these bad habits by correcting them in himself. Say you’re hanging out late with him while he works. The first thing he’ll do is turn down the caffeine at a certain point, saying he wants to actually get some sleep tonight. The second thing is that he’ll subtly rush to wrap things up quickly for the night so both of you can get home at a decent time. This technique won’t work every night because sometimes you don’t follow his lead or it’ll just be an exceptionally late night for him, but both of you tend to get better sleep when you keep a routine and cut the caffeine.
DK
Didn’t you see this coming? The moment you say you can’t sleep, he’s serenading you. Sometimes it’s sweet and soft with the intent of soothing you, and sometimes it’s goofy and animated with the intent on making you lighten up when you’re particularly frustrated by your bad sleeping habits. Sometimes you scold him to rest his voice, but he Will. Not. Be. Stopped. He’ll sing entire albums for you until you’re sleepy again, so don’t test him.
Mingyu
Prepare to be cocooned the moment you say you can’t sleep. He’s so sweet and he also doesn’t work out for no reason. He’ll literally wrap you in the blanket and hold you tight against his chest, talking sweetly about what might be bothering you. Even if nothing in particular is bothering you and you just can’t sleep, that’s fine too. He’ll stroke your hair and keep you warm until you’re ready to sleep.
Minghao
He absolutely thinks it’s stress. He notices the pattern - when you have a lot going on a work or in your family life, you’re extremely restless. Like Woozi, he might make it seem like it’s for him when he says he wants to try out a new bedtime routine. He likes meditating and decides to do it before bed, asking you to join. Then, when you both are done, he pushes you towards the bedroom, following you with two cups of tea. It doesn’t work right away, but the longer he keeps up this little routine with you, the more he notices that your shoulders are more relaxed and you fall asleep faster.
Seungkwan
One night, you’re exceptionally restless and he asks what’s wrong. You complain that the street lights coming through the windows and all the city noise have been bothering you lately. He lets you be for the night - if you want to toss and turn for a while, if you want to get up, if you want to cuddle, whatever is fine with him. But the next night before bed, he hands you two small boxes, one with a brand new sleep mask and one with small noise cancelling earbuds, encouraging you to try them out. These two things will constantly be replaced and upgraded as needed as long as they seem to help.
Vernon
Might be a little dead to the world when he sleeps, but if you happen to nudge him in the middle of the night saying that you can’t sleep and you seem upset by it, he’s automatically offering to take a walk, no matter how groggy he is. Throws on some clothes and splashes his face with cold water in the bathroom so he can get with the program for you. Walks for hours if you need it - talking or in total silence, headphones or no headphones, holding hands or no physical contact at all. Absolutely does not matter to him. He’ll get back to sleep when you do.
Chan
Another one that makes it seem like it’s for him. He’s noticed your sleeping habits and how run down you seem by it, but doesn’t address it directly. Instead, he says he read an article that described how bad blue light was for sleep and he thinks he wants to try an electronic cleanse a couple hours before bed to see if it helps him. “Are you okay with that?” He’ll ask hopefully. Of course you agree, because it’s for him! He’ll resist the urge to giggle to himself when you pass out almost immediately when your head hits the pillow on the first night of this so-called electronic cleanse. He did not expect it his little plan to be successful so quickly.
#seventeen#svt#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#dk#mingyu#minghao#seungkwan#vernon#dino
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Omg, this is so cute. I love this so much! I love roommate Bucky. 💗 Bucky is so soft and caring 🥺
The pancakes he would bring to your bed - because you were too grumpy to leave it - never satisfies the nourishment your soul craves. The pain relievers he would put on your nightstand, already there when you’d get back, would only serve as a cruel reminder that nothing could relieve the ache inside your chest.
I love how caring Bucky is 🥺
He would cook with and for you, make you coffee in the mornings, distract you with terrible jokes when you had a bad day, and leave you to it when all you needed was some me-time, only checking in when he needed to be sure you were okay.
Bucky is so sweet 💗
“We don’t have to talk about this right now, doll, I just-” So many emotions are swirling in the depth of his blues, his worry still the most outstanding. “Just wanna make sure you’re okay,” he whispers. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”
Aww🥺
Casual Sweetness
Pairing: Roommate!Bucky x reader
Summary: You seek out your roommate and best friend Bucky for comfort after a girls night out leaves you shaken up.
Word count: 2.3k
Warnings: slight mentions of handsy strangers at a bar (nothing graphic); so much comfort
Author’s note: I don’t know where this came from. I started writing it, then finished it and now it’s existing and I’m putting it out there.
Masterlist
Never once has a night out with your girls left you this unsatisfied. Or, shaken, really. Every pre-planned rendezvous or spontaneous meet-up at a local bar with Wanda and Nat had always been a reliable escape from the daily grind.
You three like to cozy up at home, preferably at Wanda’s, and binge-watch a worthy series. And while that held its certain appeal, every once in a while you would find yourselves dancing and drinking, surrounded by people who wouldn’t remember enough of you, if the amount of liquor drove you to making decisions that sober you wouldn’t have even thought of. It has always provided an outlet for stress and helped you recharge.
Not tonight though. The strangers in the new bar you girls tried out tonight were far too handsy, your head started pounding uncomfortably even before taking the first sip and thinking about the bartender only makes dread pooling in your gut.
You also weren’t able to distract your mind, or rather your heart.
Usually, you would think about getting an Uber to meet up with your friends but Bucky always insisted on driving you when he wasn’t busy. But really, he never seemed to be, anyway. Not when it meant you would have to leave the apartment on your own. Nothing had his priority other than chauffeuring you around. You never asked him to do that, he just had a habit of insisting and there was nothing you could do. He had told you as much.
And tonight was no exception. He had sprung up from the couch, movie already paused, and keys in hand when you had emerged from the bathroom and practically ushered you into his car to drive you to the bar you girls had agreed on meeting at.
“Just don’t like the idea of you sitting in the backseat of some car, looking all pretty and dressed up with some guy in the front, thinking god knows what. Not taking any chances, doll, let me drive you.”
You always roll your eyes and scoff at his exaggerated concern, reminding him that it was said guy’s job to drive you to your wanted destination. You usually ignore the rest of his words. A simple shirt and jeans would hardly qualify as ‘dressed up’ for you and the idea of you being ‘pretty’ was something you would usually laugh at.
But it was hard to laugh at that when it came out of Bucky’s mouth. Your roommate. Your friend. Maybe even your best friend. But that’s where it stopped because nothing more ever happened. And you doubted it would.
So you let his words slide and let them wash over you because if you would address them, you would start thinking. And think, you do not want to. Because thinking only leads to foolish hope. A hopeless belief, that perhaps Bucky feels what you feel and suppresses it the same way you are. A ridiculous belief that he has the same overwhelming feelings about a friend that goes way beyond what friends normally feel for each other.
So you never let yourself think too hard, shoving those feelings into a box at the very back of your mind and swallowing down the key with the hard liquor when you went out for some drinks. It always burns on its way down. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s that lingering ache. It really is not clear to you, but it does offer you a sense of reprieve, if only temporarily.
With every hungover the next day, follows the inevitable onslaught of that knot inside your chest and that rusty key resurfaces, reopening the box and unleashing a fresh wave of longing.
It only worsens in the way he would take care of you.
Every glass of water, each soft touch, each softly whispered inquiry is a gentle prod to the already gaping wound that was caused by the feelings of unrequited love.
The pancakes he would bring to your bed - because you were too grumpy to leave it - never satisfies the nourishment your soul craves. The pain relievers he would put on your nightstand, already there when you’d get back, would only serve as a cruel reminder that nothing could relieve the ache inside your chest.
With every “You feeling better, doll?” and “There anything else I can do for you, sweetheart?” the ache deepens, spreading like wildfire through your veins, reaching your bones and searing through them like branding irons with the intention to leave marks that you believe to be permanent.
The hangover eventually leaves your body, but your heart festered.
However, the ache is not always the dominant emotion in Bucky’s presence. It isn’t always the first thing you acknowledge. First and foremost, being in Bucky’s proximity elicits a profound sense of comfort and warmth.
It let the butterflies in your stomach flutter uncontrollably with every belly laugh he let out unabashedly, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut, crinkles forming at their corners.
Your heart does unwanted flips at every pet name Bucky lets casually slip passed his lips, seeming so nonchalant about calling you ‘doll’ and ‘sweetheart’ but to you it means everything.
Every tender gesture leaves you breathless. You had been living with him for nearly a year now and you had come to acknowledge how sharing a space with him had become a delicate balancing act between euphoria and agony.
Bucky would bring you a hot water bottle at times when your cramps got too bad, or simply when you experienced menstrual discomfort, trying to soothe you with sweets he extra went out for.
He would jokingly chastise you to fold your clothes before storing them in the closet to prevent them from wrinkling and tease you when you didn’t. But it always ended with him taking matters into his own hands and carefully folding your clothes while you watched him from your bed, making fun of him when he turned red attending to your undergarments, despite trying to remain indifferent.
He would cook with and for you, make you coffee in the mornings, distract you with terrible jokes when you had a bad day, and leave you to it when all you needed was some me-time, only checking in when he needed to be sure you were okay.
His casual sweetness was a constant assault on your composure.
But right now, as you klick the door to your shared apartment shut and slip out of your shoes with a heavy sigh, it is all you can think of. His gentle touch, the sparkling blue of his eyes, the cheerfulness of his smile that makes your insides do somersaults.
It is still early. Earlier than you had ever been home after a night out and you’re sure Bucky is still awake. The lights in the living room are out which means he is in his room, perhaps engrossed in his laptop, reading a book, or idly scrolling through his phone.
Yet, you hesitate, staying rooted to the spot in the hallway. It was nothing unusual for you to knock on Bucky’s door, sometimes simply barging in if you felt particularly bold or just wanted to annoy him. But you had never sought him out before simply because you needed him. Needed his comfort, his reassuring whispers, the warmth that radiates off him and seeps into your skin.
So to buy some time, you retreat to the bathroom; emptying the contents of your bladder, splashing water on your face, and brushing your teeth.
There is only so much time you can stall, and soon enough you find yourself standing in front of Bucky’s bedroom door, clothes discarded and changed for more comfortable sleepwear. There is no noise filtering through the wall of his room but the soft glow seeping beneath the door offers a glimmer of hope.
You try to soothe the shakiness of your hands and rub them along the fabric of your shirt before lifting one hand to knock on his door. The sound is softer than intended, but Bucky’s gentle ‘come in’ was immediate.
Opening the door slowly you find him leaning against the headboard of his bed, dark sheets loosely draped around his waist. His grey shirt makes him look cozy and in his lap lay a book. One you had recommended him to read.
Your body reacts in an instant, shoulders dropping ever so slightly and a breath leaves your lips at the comfort he already provides.
“You’re back early,” he starts when you keep standing at the door unmoving, “didn’t expect you home til’ midnight at least.”
The familiar cadence of his tone provides you the sense of stability you had needed to let go of his doorknob, however, the teasing in his voice wasn’t lost on you. He seems to have expected you to tumble through the door at an ungodly hour, dropping in your bed and waking the next morning with a hangover worse than the last time.
You assume the bottle of water and the painkillers already found their place on your nightstand.
A huffed laugh leaves your lips but your expression remains unchanged as you shift awkwardly in his doorway. “Uh, yeah, we decided to leave earlier. Weren’t really feeling it, I guess.” You shrug, attempting to sound nonchalant, but Bucky’s brow begins to furrow softly and he shuts his book, placing it on his nightstand without taking his eyes off you.
“You alright, doll?” His voice was devoid of the teasing tone he had held moments before, “did something happen?” His eyes are intense, scanning your face and you break eye contact, letting your gaze wander across his room as if you see it for the first time.
You take a deep breath, hands twisting nervously and your heart picks up in pace. “I, uhm…It’s-” You stumble over your words, a shaky breath escaping your mouth instead of a coherent answer.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Bucky shift on his bed, straightening as if preparing to come closer to you but your next words halt him in his movements.
“Can I maybe stay with you? Tonight?”
It comes out more pleading and quieter than wanted but you don’t care about that right now. Not with the way Bucky looks at you. He is halfway out of the bed already, sheets thrown back onto the mattress but he still doesn’t take his eyes off you.
“Course you can stay, doll! Of course you can.”
Bucky’s voice holds a reassuring firmness, while he still talks softly. Your teeth clamp down on your lower lip, watching him cross the room to you and placing his hands gently on your upper arms to take a better look at you. His eyes move between yours, brows deepening, concern etching itself into every line of his face.
“You wanna tell me what happened? Somebody make you uncomfortable?” There is something in his tone you can’t concentrate on, only shaking your head at his questions.
“I don’t- Can we not-” Your words were cut short by the gentle touch of Bucky’s hand on your face. His thumb begins to steadily swipe over your cheekbones so tenderly, a shiver rushes down your spine. He had never touched you like this before and you are trying your very best not to let your eyes droop and melt into him.
“We don’t have to talk about this right now, doll, I just-” So many emotions are swirling in the depth of his blues, his worry still the most outstanding. “Just wanna make sure you’re okay,” he whispers. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”
His thumb doesn’t ease the motions over your skin and it is that you realize your hands stopped shaking and your heartbeat fell back in place without conscious effort. He has done so much for you already, without knowing it.
A deep, audible sigh escapes your lips and you offer him your first genuine smile of the night. “Just wanna stay here with you,” you whisper, your gaze locked onto his and if the world stopped moving for a second you would be none the wiser.
The comforting circles of his thumb paused and you feel that damned rusty key turning in the deadbolt of the lock to the box of your feelings, opening them with a screech and letting the contents spill out, open for him to see. And there comes the hope again. The belief that the depths of his eyes reflect the very same emotions you have plastered on your face.
But how can you not believe it when his expression holds something that looks to you a lot like love. A love, an affection, that, as you’ve established goes way beyond friendship.
Warm lips brush against your forehead and you let your eyes close for a second, savoring the feel of them. Gentle hands guide you towards his bed and you move like putty, allowing yourself to be enveloped in the soft sheets, full of his scent.
Bucky crawls in beside you, laying his body to face yours and you can’t help but study the way the soft glow of the moon that seeps through the curtains, reflect on the planes of his face, after he shut off the little lamp on his bedside table.
“Thank you, Bucky!” you whisper, the sound almost getting lost in the sheets, but he hears you, a soft smile forming on his lips, the moon allowing you to see it.
“Not for this, sweetheart. Never for this,” he whispers back and you let your eyes fall shut with a content sigh.
Right before sleep can claim you, you feel the comforting weight of his hand, covering your own over the sheets and silently linking with your fingers.
“I’ve found a natural drug for all of my panic, anxiety, and anger. It’s his voice. It’s him.”
- J.R. Rogue
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