#they are literally. playing house. just over and over and over.
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It's obviously not a requirement I look for, whenever I meet someone (friends, bf/gf, doesn't matter - I mean people I want to keep around and nourish a relationship with); but I would love to have a significant other with this kind of mindset. That cooks with joy, plans every mealtime with ease, and feeds on other people's reactions to their food. In fact, whenever I get invited to eat at someone's house, and they complain that the food didn't turn up how they envisioned, or state that «it's nothing fancy» - oh, you have no idea how moments like this warm my body, heart and soul. And I wish I was writing all of this out of nostalgia, with that magical, slow-motion like remembrance about everyone gathered around a table, enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, ... but for me, it goes beyond that.
tw: mental health + unhealthy eating patterns
I try not to feel ashamed by confessing this, but I can't help but notice how people look at me weird. It's such an automated/basic thing everyone does, and I can't do it? «What do you mean? You need food to live, yet you can't cook nor do the groceries? ». Not quite, but I do need a whole day to do it, and a few days in advance to get myself ready for this mundane task. You see, my brain shuts off whenever I look at what's inside my fridge or pantry - if there's even anything in there to begin. I simply cannot put combine ingredients like you do (and it's not due to lack of knowledge). And whenever I can, it will most likely become my go-to meal for the next few weeks. It's a logistical nightmare to even consider going out to the supermarket. Yes, I could order online - but that's another task on itself. 80% of the times this gets me so overstimulated that, I've ended up (discreetly, I hope) crying in public, on a few occasions.
Don't worry, it's not an everyday occurrence. And for better or for worse, I am too self-conscious and pragmatic for this bad habit to take over. But whenever my neurodivergent brain is going through the slumps (you know: those occasional rough patches that resurface every once in a while, sprinkled with anxiety and depression), I prefer to stay in bed, disassociate and lose track of time, with an empty stomach. Even though I merely switched that moment with another filled with more guilt and shame towards myself. And yes, that also includes going out to eat. That's why I (while trying to play it cool) usually choose what somebody else ordered, or what the waiter recommended. This way nobody suspects anything is wrong with me, right?
Now, if this all seems childish and overly dramatic, congratulations: you are a typical functioning human-being. Believe me when I say this: I feel the same way you do, whenever I hear myself complaining about this «first world problem». But unfortunately, this drains the little energy we have to navigate our daily lives as neurodivergent individuals in a neurotypical world. Especially for those with a very tight monthly budget, who live alone or share a place with people they are not close with. Just like you, I used to find unnecessary and environmentally unfriendly all of those pre-packed, peeled and/or frozen meals, veggies and fruits. Nowadays I am thankful whenever I find them, since they quite literally have saved my life multiple times. Chemicals? Not healthy? Never heard of them. I need fuel to get out of bed and to not rot away. And if that fuel is a frozen lasagne with a weird ingredient list, so be it. I promise I'll compensate in a near future, when I am mentally and physically out of the slump, and I feel capable of asking for help (if needed) or to mask myself again as a typical functioning human-being 💪 So, next time you catch yourself complaining about those «unhealthy and ready to eat meals» or any other «unnacessary invention» that promises to make someone's life easier: take a deep breath, question everything but always try to do it out of pure curiosity. This way you're always reach the correct answer, be apart of less judgemental world, with more acessibility, compassion and solidarity towards one another.
Cooking for you is my love language.
#adult adhd#adhd problems#adhd#neurodivergent#estranhossonhos#estranhos sonhos#estranhos sonhos but she is now being serious#mental health#groceries
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Kingdom Come
Erik Killmonger x Reader
Warnings: DUB-CON (bordering Non-Con), mentions of toxic relationship, stalking, implied kidnapping
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies |
summary: You left Erik once, and he goes above and beyond to ensure that doesn't happen again.
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The sound of the ocean waves—something that took a lot of getting used to at first—were now the driving force behind your calm moods these days. Another nightmare had forced you to wake up drenched in sweat, and the only reason you’d been able to slow your breathing was because of the familiar whoosh of ocean water outside of your window.
You didn’t grow up by the water—wasn’t raised anywhere near it—and that sound quickly reminded you that you were far away from home, far away from anywhere familiar, and it filled you with relief. You now spent your days somewhere you would’ve once never considered living, and that was good because it meant no one from your former life would consider it a place for you to live either.
…and they wouldn’t come looking.
You watched the tea kettle heat up with your back pressed to the counter, arms crossed over your chest. Your satin robe stuck to your skin from the thin layer of sweat that still clung to it. Your heart had long stopped racing, but despite that, goosebumps still littered your arms, and you rubbed your hands up and down them. Despite how safe your mind assured you that you were, your body just refused to agree.
The low lighting in the kitchen was the only warm glow that filled the modest house, and you rubbed your head as you turned to get a mug. When you briefly closed your eyes, dark ones appeared in your mind, and you wondered when—after two years—you’d finally stop conjuring him up.
The face belonging to Erik Stevens was one you hadn’t seen in years, but that name was one you never not thought about. Not only had he been a part of your life for too long to just forget him, but the lasting impact he left made him impossible to ignore. You were literally hiding out in a foreign country under a different name surrounded by people you didn’t know because of that man.
There were days where you cursed yourself for ever getting involved with him—recalling your initial thoughts of him and how he looked like trouble—but Erik had a charm that was hard to resist. With a pretty face framed by locs and gold that winked at you whenever he smiled, he wasn’t the kind of man you’d ever be brave enough to bring home, and you had long reluctantly admitted the part that played in his appeal.
He was kind of dangerous…and you’d liked that.
Until it wasn’t random men on the street he was threatening…but you.
The whistle of the kettle pulled you from your thoughts, and you jumped at the sound. You ignored how your hands shook as you poured yourself a cup of tea, exhaling an uneven breath with thoughts of your ex boyfriend on the brain. You never thought that sleeping with the guy who was just way out of your league would change the trajectory of your life. You thought it’d make for a good story to tell to your friends and maybe even a niece or two one day.
You didn’t think that he’d keep coming back, knocking on your apartment door throughout all hours of the night, that plump bottom lip jutted out as you attempted to put your foot down—something something boundaries and respect and all that jazz. The brown-skinned man would slowly blink at you, silently telling you that he wasn’t hearing a word you were saying. The corner of his lips would quirk up into that haughty smirk—something only worn by a man who knew he was going to get what he wanted—and he’d push himself off of the wall, straightening to his full height.
“So you want me to leave?”
The question never sounded sincere, because it wasn’t, and Erik would look down his nose at you while you shuffled your feet, one hand still on the door as you fought with yourself over whether or not to close it in his face. It was useless though because you never not let him in.
You never not took a step back and watched him stride through your door like he owned the place and you with it. You never not watched him peel his jacket off, your own arms crossed over your chest as you committed to being angry for far longer than you actually were. It made you feel like less of a weak willed woman. That too was useless though because its not like you ever stopped him when he turned to you and pulled you closer.
It did no good pretending to be mad when the night always ended the same way.
Erik with his arms around your waist and you with your legs around his.
He was always gone in the morning, until the day he wasn’t, and you couldn’t find it in you to be upset about him sticking around. You actually kind of liked it, and that had scared you. He wasn’t supposed to be there in the mornings, and you weren’t supposed to be asking him if he wanted anything as you stood by the stove. Erik Stevens was not boyfriend material, and yet…
That’s what he became.
Even now, years later, you still weren’t quite sure how that even happened. You didn’t know how you ended up sharing an apartment and picking things up at the store for him and sinking into the warm scented bath water he’d draw for you. You didn’t know how you ended up obeying whenever he’d look at you with those dark eyes before softly demanding a kiss. You didn’t know how you’d started letting him circle his hand around your neck while he was fucking you, pulling words and promises out of you that you’d never say in any other circumstance.
It was something you still couldn’t make sense of, and you desperately needed to if you ever wanted to prevent it from happening again.
“Erik Stevens isn’t your average man off the street…”
That was what they told you when they sat you down in some room that was too bright only hours after showing up at your doorstep. All of it had been too much information to fully retain, but you’d processed the important parts. Erik was military—a SEAL to be more exact—and not just a SEAL but also the kind of man who occasionally dropped off the face of the earth to take out important people. It was a nice way of calling him an assassin, and you remembered how sick you’d felt sitting in that chair, recalling the feel of running your fingers over every raised abrasion along his skin whenever he had his hands on you.
“Is this some frat thing I just haven’t heard of?” you’d jokingly wondered one day.
Erik had simply turned to look at you, a hint of a smile on his lips and a hidden joke in his gaze.
“Nah,” he’d drawled. “They just represent something important to me. Milestones I guess you could say.”
Your determination to be open minded had you relaxing in the arms of a killer—a proud one who wore the name KIllmonger with no shame.
Even still, you hadn’t understood what any of that had to do with you. At that point, you and Erik had been broken up for months, something that hadn’t been easy for you to do. Not just because some part of you still wanted him at the end, but also because a huge part of you was terrified of him. You hadn’t realized that his anger and possessiveness were low on the list of reasons why you should be afraid of him.
“This man is dangerous…and the way you parted ways was…less than amicable to say the least…”
You still hadn’t put the pieces together.
“...and the U.S Government is unable to locate him.”
Winding up in something akin to witness protection because the U.S Government had lost one of their own best ‘assets’ had not been something you ever saw for yourself. To this day, you wondered why the one questionable guy you took a chance on turned out to be far more than just the average jealous asshole.
As you sipped your tea, you thought about the last time you were with him, the way your voice trembled as you stood up to him, telling him it was over. You rubbed your arm, recalling the tight grip he had on it, his voice cold and clipped as he asked you if you realized what you were saying.
“You wanna leave me?” he’d asked, head dipped and brows raised like he wanted to make sure you knew that was what you wanted to do.
You could see then that he’d wanted to fight you on it—probably wanted to do a whole lot more than that—but no one had been more shocked than you when he simply let you go with a soft “a’ight” before gesturing to the door. Everything you wanted to take had been removed while he was out, and you’d been surprised at how sad you weren’t to glance around at the apartment now empty of your stuff.
That was the last time you’d been face to face with Erik Stevens.
Until now.
When the cup that was once in your hands shattered against the floor, you paid no mind to the slight sting of hot tea and ceramic shards hitting your bare feet. Your attempt to turn and leave the kitchen had been thwarted, a tall and broad figure standing just before you in the entrance. The sight of the shadowy figure made your heart drop and your blood run cold. The only light from the kitchen wasn’t enough to reveal him completely, but you’d always been able to recognize him in the dark.
He enjoyed scaring you.
For the first time in your life, your mind went blank, finally understanding that phrase as your lips parted. No sound came out—from neither you or him—and you were sure that the sight of you two just standing in the dark and staring at each other would’ve been comical if you weren’t terrified out of your mind. The figure finally moved to tilt his head, his only movement as it leaned to the left just a tad, and the angle made the light glint off of his eyes in a way that made your stomach churn.
You were quick to search for the big light.
You sharply inhaled at the sight of him, confirming what you already knew. He looked the same and different all at once. He was still handsome and tall and wore that expression like you were just so silly to him. However, his hair was longer and the bands of muscle that were his arms were thicker, and he stood with an assuredness that you didn’t like, at all. The flashy gold tooth necklace resting on his collarbone caught the light, and your eyes were briefly drawn to it.
You traced it, a frown taking residence on your face as your gaze kept going. The casual clothes you were used to seeing him in were nowhere in sight, and you took note of the dark attire he was wearing and its patterns. He looked nice—regal one might say—and you swallowed, a very bad feeling festering deep in your stomach.
“What? You got nothing to say to me?”
Hearing his voice for the first time in years brought up a whole lot of emotions you’d tried and failed to bury. You were reminded of his voice in your ear as he woke you up in the mornings or even when he was whispering the filthiest of things against your skin as he kissed his way down it. But you also remembered the angry tone of it when he was interrogating you about some guy who’d waved at you or was questioning your feelings for him.
You remembered loving him and craving him…but you also remembered how terrified he made you feel.
At that, you took a step back—almost dazed—and the man before you kissed his teeth.
“You still on that bullshit, huh.”
Those words—filled with so much dismissal and arrogance—finally made you find your voice.
“What are you doing here?” you gasped, your question coming out choked. “How did…?”
When Erik finally moved, half of him was bathed in the shadows from the rest of the house, and the kitchen light hit his eye again in the way it did before. It glinted dangerously, almost like a feline if you didn’t know any better, and you took another step back. Erik followed your movements intensely, a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
“How…” he tested the word in his mouth, humming. “How is never as important as why.”
You weren’t amused by whatever he was playing at, and that crooked smile only grew.
“So serious,” he mocked, moving to fold his hands behind his back as he looked you up and down, and you hated the way he swiped his tongue between his lips as he did so. “You’re not glad to see me? Not even a little?”
When you said nothing, you watched him roll his eyes, shaking his head and his locs moved with the action. When his gaze met yours again, all humor had been wiped from his face. His dark eyes were intense as he stared at you, lips pressed together and chest heaving with the deep breath he took. You felt like an insolent child beneath his gaze.
“You know what I’m doing here.”
He was entirely serious, and you didn’t doubt him for a second.
“No…”
“You had to know I was never gone let you just walk away from me like that,” he continued, slowly pacing the kitchen and backing you further into a corner with every step he took.
His words brought tears to your eyes, and in this moment, you hated him. What was the point then? Why did he give you false hope that you were free from him? Was it just to fuck with you? Was it his idea of a sick joke? As if he could read your mind, he elaborated.
“I had some things to do,” he told you. “Some…business to take care of before I came back for you and …”
He shrugged like that explained everything you’d been put through because of him.
“...and now that I got my shit together…got everything I deserved, it’s only right that I come back and get you too.”
A noise of disgust left your throat before you could stop yourself, and Erik didn’t try to stop you as you hurried past him. You didn’t hear him behind you as you made your way to the door, too nervous and fearful to look over your shoulder. However, once you made it to the front door, you realized that you didn’t hear Erik after you because he wasn’t after you.
He felt no need to be…and with good reason.
The statuesque women on the other side of your door made you come up short, mouth falling open as you took them in. They were beautiful and straight-faced, heads smooth and wearing colorful attire that didn’t deviate all that much from what Erik was wearing. The long spears in their hands had you stumbling back, and so in shock, you didn’t even register that you’d stumbled right into Erik.
One of his arms snaked around you while the other gently closed the door, effectively trapping you once again.
The silence was loud, and finally, a few tears escaped.
“Earlier you started to ask how I found you…”
You felt Erik’s lips grazing your ear before moving down to brush along your neck. One hand was on your waist while the other had found a home on your arm, kneading the skin through the thin robe. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent, and you swore that you felt him shudder against you.
The breath you let out was shaky, more tears collecting in your eyes.
“You’d be amazed at what you can do when you’re the king of Wakanda.”
Those damning words had your knees buckling, and when you attempted to throw yourself away from him, Erik’s hold tightened. One hand had a vice grip on your wrist while the other hand snaked around your neck.
“I like to tell myself that I did this because I deserve it, because I was wronged…but that ain’t all…”
When Erik leaned in to press his lips to yours, your mind was finally at war with your heart once again. You’d forgotten what it felt like to kiss him, forgotten what he tasted like, and you couldn’t stop the sharp breath you took as he moved his mouth against yours. The hand on your neck tightened just a tad, like a chain keeping you to him, and you felt him smile into the kiss.
“I like being somebody that you can’t ever leave.”
Those words whispered into your mouth made your heart sink, and your protest was lost as he kissed you again.
You shook in his hold for varying reasons, fear above all else. Erik had his hands on you again, and he had no intention of taking them off. They pulled you and pushed you where he wanted you to be, and it seemed that he decided the couch would suffice. He wasn’t bothered by your lack of consent, and somehow that didn’t surprise you.
There’d been moments in the past when you expressed discomfort or you protested or you rejected him and for the briefest of moments, something had passed through his eyes that made you think he didn’t care. A glint in his gaze that made you think he was going to do what he wanted—take what he wanted—anyway. You’d always had a nagging feeling deep in your chest that Erik was just holding back, keeping himself in check with you because it was socially acceptable and not because he actually wanted to.
…but he was a king, now—something you believed without a doubt—and that title corrupted even the best of men…let alone a man who already wasn’t shit to begin with.
When his bare chest grazed against yours, a shudder traveled down your spine, and Erik reached under you to trace that path with his fingers. One hand was still carefully at home on your neck, and the gold fangs in his mouth winked at you in the nearly invisible lighting. When you felt those abrasions underneath your fingers—every one for a kill—it suddenly hit you that you were underneath him again and for good this time.
“You don’t know how much I missed this pussy,” he murmured into your skin, a hand tightening almost painfully on your waist just as he sank into you.
The feel of his cock stretching you out had your back arching, chest pushing up against his. It hadn’t been just years without sex with Erik but years without sex altogether. Part of it was because you still had some lingering loyalty to the man between your legs, telling yourself he’d somehow know and find you—despite the fact that you weren’t his anymore—and part of it was because he’d simply ruined you for any other man. Either way, it all came back to Erik.
You couldn’t stop the strained gasps that left your lips, the slight sting and dull ache from the stretch making you dig your nails into his skin. This was not what you wanted, but you swore that Erik was stronger now than he ever had been before. The feel of him thrusting himself into you reminded you of all the hours you’d spent wrapped up in each other when things were still good between you. Hell, even when they weren’t, it wasn’t uncommon for an argument to end in you bent over the kitchen counter with Erik’s pelvis pressing against you.
He had a way of controlling a situation, steering it in whatever direction he wanted it to go.
Like now.
How was it that you go into hiding to remain safe from this man only to wind up at his mercy yet again? It was unfair, and you couldn’t stop trembling as you pushed against his chest.
“Erik…”
Your words died on your lips when he shushed you, his locs brushing against your skin as he nipped at your neck and then your shoulder and finally your chest. The light moan you let out was involuntary, and you hated that smug chuckle that escaped his lips.
“You always try to act so tough and shit…but we both know once I get my hands on you…”
Anger bubbled up within you at his words, and you couldn’t resist slapping him. Before where that might’ve pissed him off, Erik only smiled in your face. Taking your hand, he held it tight before pinning it against your stomach, and he looked down, briefly distracted by the sight of his cock disappearing into you. He slowed his thrusts down, and the change in pace almost made you roll your eyes.
“You gone love Wakanda, baby,” he said to you, lips meeting your skin again. “The most beautiful sunsets…”
He nipped at your shoulder.
“...anything you could ever want…”
Another kiss to your lips.
“...and guards to watch your every move.”
His nose touched yours as he said that, and you felt him reach down to hook his arm under your leg. You hissed, feeling him even deeper into your gut as he bent your leg back. Erik didn’t take his eyes off of you as he fucked you, hips meeting yours and the wet sound of his cock dipping into you reaching your ears.
“I came back just for you,” he darkly told you, completely ignoring your hand pushing at his stomach. “...because what kind of king would I be with no queen at my side?”
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#erik killmonger#Erik killmonger x reader#n'jadaka x reader#erik stevens#erik stevens x reader#n'jadaka fanfiction#erik killmonger fanfiction#Erik killmonger imagine#n'jadaka imagine#black panther fanfiction#black panther imagine#marvel fanfiction
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The Great War
A/N: So this was made in response to a request but it ended up blossoming into a full 2K word fic adjacent and I had to split it into two posts! Anyways, if you enjoy sexy and occasionally soft Sevika, dramatic arguments that result in comfort, and mob-wife vibes… enjoy!
Warnings: Not smut but mentions of sex and both characters are D O W N B A D.. A lot of cussing and mentions of violence.
Pairing: Butch!Sevika X Femme!Reader who is super outgoing and forward
🂱 So the two of you’ve met briefly around town, kinda running in the same circles. You notice her right away but you don’t actually talk until she shows up at work — The Last Drop.
🂱 You’re a server and your charisma, magnetism, and punchy/blunt sort of energy makes you well suited to hospitality. You’re the bubbly outgoing type of waitress who gets their table laughing and in a good spirits with ur contagious good vibes.
🂱 You beat the other waitress to claim Sevika’s table, and it’s on.
🂱 She would get a kick out of it — your shamelessness. She really likes the forward thing, timidity makes her roll her eyes. Life’s too short for playing hard to get! Plus, she’s an adult. And a literal revolutionary who quite literally does not have the time for all that.
🂱 Before you learn each others names you endearingly and lightheartedly call her “butchy,” or something like that. She calls you sweetheart.
🂱 You’d pour her beers on the house. You’d lean over the bar counter on ur elbows, making sure ur titties look good and perky. And if it was just the two of you, she would not hide her ogling.
🂱 It’d be a bit of a game to you two. Making the other person crack, being the first to back down/get all blushy. You’d be all flirty-flirty over the bar counter, she’d pull you into her lap during her card game. It’s like how straight guys play gay chicken. Except ur actually gay so it would just be chicken.
🂱 And she’s smoking indoors, as per us. You ask if you can have a hit. She shotguns it into ur mouth and you blow it upward, once again drawing attention to your décolletage, to the girls hehe
🂱 Eventually she just asks you straight up if you wanna spend the night. Maybe you take her up on it, maybe you don’t. Either way, she’s not the fuckboy (fuckbutch?) hit it n quit it type. She’s an adult woman with emotional intelligence and communication skills goddammit and she’s gonna ask you to dinner.
🂱 Takes u to the fanciest place in the undercity, orders everything on the menu trying to flex her wallet and impress u. Whether or not u ask for it she gets you one of those weird rich people desserts where they make part of the preparation an “experience.” like they pour hot liquid over a hollow chocolate shell and it cracks open and reveals a little cake inside. Or something involving a blowtorch.
🂱 Anyways this whole time ur just rubbing ur lil high heeled foot up her pant leg under the table and twirling ur hair, touching her arm, etc. Naughty girl — she mock-scolds you telepathically with a dommy little eyebrow raise thing.
“Here? Now? I pull out all the stops to give you a magical evening and you already wanna leave and bang it out. That’s real classy, sweetheart.”
🂱 You’re both rather bold and upfront, obviously. Strong personalities, fire sign energy — which means you butt heads often. Your relationship is super intense and fiery so every day is like a soap opera, or like The Real Mob Wives of Staten Island in levels of drama.
“Why the hell didn’t you come home last night? And why did i have to find out from Vivi that she saw you cracking skulls in a fishing boat by the pier?”
“Babygirl I told you I was taking care of business. Sweetheart, uprisings don’t happen overnight, it’s all about biding time and strategically applying political pressure in Topside-”
“Jesus, Mary, and the goddamn camels you and your strategic goddamn pressure. I’ll tell you I’ve fucking had it with you and your fucking pressure. You wanna make me look like an idiot? When me and my girlfriends are sitting drinking mimosas for brunch at Jarrod's and they ask me ‘Y/N where’s that woman of yours?’ And i have to look them in the eyes and say “Clint Eastwood was unable to join us as she had a prior engagement strategically applying pressure. To the back of enforcers’ skulls. With a fucking baseball bat. Like a common thug. Mind you, I’m a classy lady all by my lonesome on a Sunday fucking morning-"
“Classy lady I’ll fucking say. You’d think I plan on growing old with Mrs. Fucking Vanderbilt, the way you want to buy ten thousand pairs of red high heels-“
“Omg babe you wanna grow old with me?”
“-that all look exactly the fucking same, by the way. ‘Burnt orange’ and ‘vermillion’ and ‘chartreuse’ or whatever the fuck — You know it’s just fucking red.
“Chartreuse is green, since you wanna be a smartass,”
“Don’t gaslight me, woman. Where do you even plan on wearing those? We live in an oversized sewer pipe. Not the magical land of Oz. I told you who i was when you met me. I told you this is what I do. And you better get used to it if you wanna keep charging my card at every boutique within a ten mile radius,”
“Or what? Gonna give me the spiel again, talk me to death about the uprising and the political elites and the our time is imminent, y/n. Gonna threaten me like you do your little fishing buddies? Gonna apply me some strategic fucking pressure?”
“That’s enough.” Sevika hissed, scary calm. She kicks the pantry door shut and whips around, pointing at you with her cigarette. “I’ve had enough of this shit. You’re done, Missy.”
“Beg pardon? I’ll decide when I’m done, thank you very much. You’ve got some nerve telling me when to speak when I can’t even reach you half the time. I had to track down your little boss the other day — brought him a lovely casserole — and ask if he could pass on a message for me! ‘Excuse me Mr. Scaryman Eye of Zaun, sir, could you possibly ask Zorro if she might head home as soon as she’s done busting kneecaps? And to arrive in a clean shirt, as my parents are in town and they prefer to greet their daughter-in-law when she’s not covered in someone’s intravenous blood. Thank you kindly.’”
“You showed up at work? Wait- you talked to Silco? Babe I told you to stay the fuck away from there!”
“Please. He may be the kingpin of the city or whatever, but I make a gorgeous quiche. Trust me, babe. Once he tastes my cooking, I am henceforth immune to whatever machiavellian basement torture chamber you brutes probably use as your break room.”
🂱 Sorry guys, got a little carried away there. Point is, one minute you’re screaming at each other and dramatically slamming doors and throwing shit, the next you’re fucking on the kitchen floor like the world’s about to end. You guys basically co-authored the book on how to be an absolute nightmare of an upstairs neighbor. The entire building feels the floor shaking and no one knows if the screaming is just you guys having a little too much fun for 2pm on a Tuesday, or if they’re gonna see this on the news tomorrow.
🂱 Kidding! At the end of the day, trust and loyalty are the foundations of your relationship. You love each other wildly, deeply, and passionately.
🂱 Sevika has a strict no going to bed angry policy. If you’d gotten into it that evening you might give her the cold shoulder, curl up facing away from her in the quiet moments before bed. She’s reading by the lantern on the bedside table — an upcycled barstool the two of you stole from your old job at The Last Drop one evening when you were in a particularly silly mood.
🂱 She catches your gaze a couple times as you stare over your shoulder to see if she’s paying attention to you, and then you immediately turn and go back to ignoring her. She takes off her reading glasses, tosses her book onto the bed, and rolls over to you, wrapping her arm around you from the back.
“Hey baby?” She kisses your shoulder and the back of your head since you still won’t look at her, and she continues. “Love of my life? Light of my world? Keeper of my soul and partner in crime through the sea of trials we call the fucked-up game of life?” You turn slightly to give her a glaring side eye.
“…What do you want.”
“Still mad at me, babygirl?”
“Not at all. Why on earth would I be mad?”
“I’m sorryyy,” she draws it out, cooing at you all soft and sing-songy. If the ne’erdowells who often got their asses handed to them by her and her little team could see this Sevika, they’d think they lost their mind. Hell, if any punk on the street could see this Sevika they’d think they lost their mind. It made your knees weak the way she undid herself and softened for you. For only you. You fought the smile forming and she continued murmuring against your skin.
“It’s all this bullshit at work Silco’s got me taking care of. I’m neglecting my little lady, I’m stretched so thin. It’s too much…”
“Too much…?” You echo. “Talk to me, love. Silco’s not letting you catch a breather?”
She grunts in affirmation against your shoulder: “Mm-hrmm”
“Does my baby have the whooole wide world on her poor, tired, buff, strong, sexy shoulders-EEK!” She gleefully flips you over to face her, making you cackle. You’ve been disarmed. At her mercy. You always were.
She leans forward to bonk her forehead against yours.
“Glad someone in this cruel world finally understands me and my line of work,” she says, half-joking.
“No one understands the importance of your job better than me, babe.” You continue, at this point unable to remove the sarcasm from your tone even if you tried. She nuzzles into the crook of your shoulder facedown, head supported by the cushiness of your tit. You weave your fingers in her hair.
“The honorable burden of great duty… The unfathomable smothering of moral obligation, even. One might describe it as an immensely… strategic pressure-”
“-For FUCK’s SAKE”
“You have worker’s rights, you know! Demand an hour off — paid — in your underground torture chamber-breakroom. You’re entitled to relax and sip coffee as you watch the bodies hit the floor, goddammit!”
Feigning exasperation, Sev dramatically collapses backward starfish-style on the old-ass creaky-ass decrepit-ass daddy longlegs convention of a double bed the two of you share; in a shithole apartment, in a shady-ass neighborhood, in a collapsing city. That’s how it was between the two of you. Underneath it all, she trusts that you’ll always be there to kiss her wounds, to make sure her collar is straight and there’s no shmutz on her face. You trust that at the end of the day, it’s you she’s coming home to.
#arcane league of legends#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane s2#arcane fanfic#sevika x reader#arcane fic#sevika arcane#sevika headcanon#butch sevika#sevika fanfic#sevika smut#sevika x y/n#sevika x reader fluff#sevika x reader fic#arcane fanfiction#vamp does sevika hcs#vamp does arcane hcs#vamp does arcane fics#vamp does sevika fics
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Now, I never played Persona 3 but the protagonist looks breedable. So The Persona 3 protagonist (the male one) investigating an haunted/creepy site only to meet an horny male werewolf reader who fucks them 🎃
Author's Note: Makoto truly is one of the hottest persona protags (possibly even one of the hottest characters in general). Not to mention both of his English VAs did a fantastic job! I could gush over Makoto all day…so I'm just going to let the smut to the talking now 😶🌫️
Pairings: Makoto Yuki x male reader
Warnings: Male werewolf!reader, dom/top!reader, paranormal investigator!Makoto, adult Makoto, sub/bottom!Makoto, dubcon, finger sucking, dry orgasms, premature ejaculation(?)
This was supposed to be an easy job for once. Another "haunted" old cabin, multiple eye witnesses and videos and pictures worth of "proof", only to end up being a hoax unintentionally created by some local kids. He's been there and done that, time and time again. So, this place should not be any different, right?
Well… as luck would have it, Makoto would finally encounter something paranormal — a real experience, unlike the majority of his previous calls.
That's how Makoto ended up here; bent over a desk with the air knocked from his lungs while something wet drips all over the back of his body.
Drool drips from your snarling mouth, pooling on the back of the human's shirt, while your cock drips all over the ass of his pants and slides down the sides. You keep one clawed hand on the back of the human's head, and the other on his waist to prevent him from escaping.
The scent of iron and dirt burns Makoto's nostrils, invading every deep inhale as he's just short of hyperventilating. You're obviously not any sort of spectre, nor spirit nor ghostly being—you're really more of a beast, though your features are still quite human in nature. The man's best guess is a werewolf. Whatever you are, he's seen enough to know that he doesn't want to stick around any longer.
Attempts at wiggling free don't go so well, only building up Makoto's frustration and yours. Silly as it may sound to think a beast can understand the human language, he decides to try it anyway. “What do you- hnngh… what do you want?!” he hisses, “Are you the one…causing trouble, scaring the locals?”
You almost want to laugh at that absurd question. Causing trouble, he says. “Me? Please, ask yourself who's the real troublemaker here; the dozens of humans trashing my house and surrounding woods, or me, the guy who's lived here for decades — long before that filth migrated in.” you growl. Ignorant, ignorant humans as always.
“If anyone here is a troublemaker, it's you–” your razor-like nails dig into Makoto's side, and he winces, glaring at you with the eye not covered by his hair. “walking in here with that sexy body of yours, having the audacity to bend over and pick things up and present that fine ass for me.”
The human's heart leaps within his chest, pounding away loudly while he grips the edge of the table harder. “Your job is to help people, yeah? You wanna help these people? Then…” you lean down, covering the human's body with your heat, and whisper in his ear; “…give me the relief I need to not be so fuckin' grumpy, maybe I'll let some of their idiotic actions slide, hm?”
Truly, Makoto should protest, or try to run, literally do anything to fight this situation, but he doesn't. For some reason, he feels like…like he wants to see where this goes.
When you yank his pants down and flip up his jacket, he doesn't stop you. When you rest your heavy, leaking cock in between his cheeks and groan like a perv, he's not disgusted by it. When you let go of his head and stuff your fingers in his mouth, his tongue dances in between the spaces of your digits.
It's a surprise to you too, when the smaller human man lifts his ass up, almost inviting you—giving you permission—to fuck him. And you're not about to pass up a cute slut like this.
Makoto's knees shake when you spit on his hole, giving him at least a tiny courtesy before you break his body with your cock. Your tip pushes incessantly at his entrance, adding slippery precum to it as you swipe your cock up and down, then finally slip the head in. The human flinches, nearly causing himself to choke on your fingers, but he recovers just fine and makes no signs of protest.
Soon enough, you're moving a few inches of your length in and out, enjoying the tightness around only a third of your dick. “Sho mush…sho big…” he slurs, unable to properly enunciate with your fingers keeping his mouth occupied. Little does he realize how big your full length is. You push a little more, and the human moans again, drool spilling out from the corners of his mouth while his ass stretches to accommodate the larger girth filling it up.
“Big, yeah? You think this is big, little guy? This ain't even halfway in yet~” you taunt, keeping a tight hold on his waist. At this point, you're confident that he can take plenty more without breaking yet, so you go a little harder until half of your dick is pumping in and out. “Mmm feel that? Now that is halfway in. Feels even better, right?”
“aAahAAAHhhNn–!! gHNH-!” Makoto spasms on the table, whining something unintelligible while his body twitches. Slightly concerned, you ask him what the hell that was all about, but he doesn't answer you. Frustrated, you remove your fingers from his mouth and yank his body up by his hair, forcing him to stand while you inspect the situation.
It only takes a second for you to notice the puddle of translucent white fluid dripping from the edge of the wooden table and onto the ground, with a matching fluid dribbling from Makoto's flushed dick.
“Goddamn– cummin' before me…I haven't even fucked you yet, little guy. Is it that good for you?” you laugh, pulling the human's head back so far that he's forced to look up at you, meeting your gaze with pink cheeks and cloudy eyes.
With a newfound confidence, and a newfound horniness, you decide that your little slut is more than ready to take it all in. Makoto makes a little noise at first, but when you bottom out and, finally, begin thrusting with intent, those noises turn into happy little moans and whimpers. The fucked out look on his face is proof enough that your fat cock is hitting the right places—filling his tummy with butterflies with every long drag against his walls.
Makoto holds onto your arms for dear life, taking your length like the good boy he is, while you rail him with enough force to knock him over, if you weren't holding his smaller body. “Ah-ah-ah-yes-yes-yes-!!” he stutters, smiling like he's on cloud nine. “Ah! Hard-er! Harderharderharder~!!”
When you blow your first load in him, the tightness of Makoto's ass and the strong scent of his hormones are enough to make your eyes roll back. Your hips slam into him a few times to empty all of your cum in there, and each time only brings the human that much closer to a complete mindbreak.
“Ooohhfuck… haah~ That was fuckin' good er- damn, I never got your name, did I?” The human shakes his head 'no', panting as his dick stays stiff as a board, red from cumming a second time.
He mutters something under his breath, but you can't quite make it out. You ask him to repeat it and he replies, “it'sss…Makoto…” in a sleepy, worn out tone.
“Well, Makoto, you think you're up for more?” you're asking, but not really asking…because you're going to fuck him again regardless. After all, all of these dumbass locals keep you stressed out every damn day — at this point, a full 24 hours of sex probably wouldn't be enough, much less one tiny orgasm.
Makoto lazily nods along, grinning up at you while you scratch his scalp affectionately. He has zero time to react as you begin thrusting again, ready to pound his hole until it's permanently molded to your shape.
His ass tightens around you again, and a third round of cum shoots out of his dick as it slaps against his warm body. His dick seems to stay hard even after that, turning redder by the minute, all while you ensure that his ass will be left gaping and oozing with your seed long after you're satisfied.
By the time you fill him up again, Makoto has orgasmed five times before, and his sixth nearly causes his voice to crack as his whole body convulses in your arms — his twitching cock shoots nothing this time, and the human is left with only dry orgasms for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, you have no intentions of stopping yet, even if it means your new human will fall unconscious—he'll still be your fuck doll while he rests.
#my writing#requested#oneshot#halloween specials 🎃#makoto yuki#makoto smut#makoto x male reader#makoto x reader#sub makoto#persona 3 smut#persona 3 x male reader#persona 3 x reader#sub persona 3#male reader#dom reader#top reader#dom male reader#dom top reader#sub male character#male reader x male character#werewolf au#werewolf reader#paranormal investigator au
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Would love to see Kinger and Queenie, as well as Zooble and Caine drawn in this AU TOO. PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN! Fantasy Winter Wonderland, so perfectly in season. Maybe Caine and Zooble could have a dynamic of some kind, where Caine could be like Zooble's caring Uncle who wears goofy sweaters and tells funny stories about from his imagination about a fictional life in the circus as a ringmaster (he's a chatterbox beause his head is a mouth, lol), and Zooble is like an angsty college student caught in a feud betweenn divorced parents, moving in with her uncle to get away from all of the mess.
I'm gonna make a short story of it, would love to see accompanying art!!!
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Cainooble: A Winter Wonderland Special!
It was a wonderful Winter Wonderland of a day, Christmas had just passed, and everyone was out playing in the snow to enjoy the winter days before the new year. Pomni and Gummigoo laugh and play out in the snow on Gummigoo's new sled his parents got him for Christmas. Gangle watches them timidly as a sort of happy third wheel to their group, wearing a kimono and a fluffy coat as well to stay warm, preferring to watch them play. Ragatha and Jax share a hot cocoa in a nearby house as siblings, chatting away about what they loved most. Kinger and Queeenie in another house enjoy some quiet time together, with a few friends over, including Dobby Dog, Orbsman, and many others.
Then there's Zooble, frustrated 20 something, having just quit he4 job due to transferring colleges, unable to stay at her local college due to how much her parents fought. Zooble was so done with their fighting as an only child, she literally was having trouble with her identity, looking for support and help, but they're too distracted with yelling at each other over such silly things like money. She decided to put her foot down and move to the University in the next town, packing up her stuff to go live with Uncle Caine, his father's brother whom was usually fun to be around and actually cared about Zooble.
She drove up the somewhat icy road carefully, and found herself pulling up to Uncle Caine's nice house. He was A Bachelor who never married, so he had lots of room in his big house for hus precious niece! Zooble, while slightly disgruntled over all of what happened at home with mom and dad, was slightly relieved at seeing Uncle Caine's house.
Not too long after she carefully parked the car in the driveway, Caine came out of the house in a coat.
"HEY HEEEEEY, THERE'S MY FAVORITE NIECE!"
Zooble, seeing Caine, smiled weakly, happy to see Caine after all that she'd been through leaving the house to come live here.
"Thank you do much Uncle Caine. Mom and Dad haven't been their best lately."
"DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD, YOU'LL HAVE A FRESH START HERE IN MULBERRY. It's the quietest town in Minnesota, and it's SUCH A MIRACLE you didn't skid off the roads, they're quite icy here.
They both hugged it out for a moment in the cold, Zooble felt like crying because she was so grateful to her uncle Caine. Caine noticed she's clinging to him as they hug and holds her close as well.
"It'll be okay, Zoobie, it'll be like your last visit, but LONGER! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GET TO STAAAAAY HEEEEERE, FOR AS LONG AS YOU'D LIKE. WE'RE FAMILY AFTER ALL. Go on in, there's hot Cooa in the Kitchen, I'll get your bags! Oh, and feel free to just call me Caine, I think you're old enough to just call me by my first name now, haha!"
Zooble nods silently, her smiling expression more present as she's happy that her Uncle took her in.
Inside, she sips her hot cocoa, and Caine comes in shortly after, with most of her bags, of which he gets the rest in a second trip.
Then he joins Zooble for some hot cocoa once he's fully back inside with Zooble's luggage altogether by the door.
"So Zoobie, what do yoy think of Mulberry? It's so lovely here, no?
"Yeah, it's pretty great Caine, I'm gonna like it here."
"I'm sooo delighted to hear that! It's so nice here Zoobie, you'll love plenty of people your age here, and the college is small and cozy. Mulberry U was my alma mater. Aaah, seems like yesterday when I walked out with my Communications degree! The TV station has been a nice job for me, telling everyone about the weather is certainly a real job, but as Mark Twain once said, make your vocation your vacation, and all will be will, hahahaaa!"
Zooble smiles, happy to see her uncle in such good spirits.
They chat the rest of the night and Zooble gets a good night's rest. As she goes on, she adjusts to her new life Mulberry, and becomes friends with Pomni, Gangle, and Ragatha.
The end.
Knock knock! Guess who's online again! 🥂
For now, check out the sketches of the characters in the form of teenagers / children + bonus ( AIS AU ⛸️❄)
+bonus (I drew the art a long time ago, but decided to show it only now)
Unfortunately, I was away for a long time due to personal problems. The beginning of the year turned out to be difficult.
I was COMPLETELY deprived of the opportunity to draw on a graphics tablet.I also had to move in with my dad after a fight with my mom. Now I'm drawing on my phone in the Ibis Paint X app with my finger, which is unusual for me.
However, there is some good news! It's my birthday next month, and my dad promised to give me an iPad! (I've never used it before.)
Therefore, I will temporarily post less art on Tumblr.(sorry)
#tadc au#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc gangle#tadc gummigoo#the digital circus#tadc zooble#tadc caine#the amazing digital circus au
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hello it’s me again. you’re gonna be seeing a lot of me lmao😌
okay here me out. a wealthy girl meets saebyeok at the park because they both have little brothers. the rich girl becomes really close with saebyeok inviting her and her little brother over often and ends up helping out with her money issues (aka she don’t gotta go to the squid games🙏🏻) and at first ofc saebyeok is against it cuz she doesn’t trust ppl and doesn’t wanna accept help for fear of being vulnerable and owing someone. but the girl is really good with saebyeok’s little brother, and always attentive towards saebyeok, checking up on her, noticing the little things like snacks she likes and such. and saebyeok ends up opening up about her issues and lets the girl help and they all live happily ever after typa vibe🥰🩷 it’s what saebyeok deserves😩
can’t wait to see what u come up with !
-love koogi🍓
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇 | 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐀𝐄 𝐁𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐊 ౨ৎ
pairing : saebyeok x fem!reader
fluff
warnings : none
a/n : this is literally so cute omg ??
𝐓he park was usually a place of chaos, teeming with screaming children and exasperated parents. but today, it felt strangely serene, maybe because you noticed her instantly. she sat on a bench, a fierce scowl etched on her face, her short dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. beside her, a little boy with wide curious eyes was talking to her. he was the reason you noticed her — your own little brother was currently engaged in building a sandcastle a few feet away.
you’d always found the park a good place to escape the confines of your house. you watched her for a moment, the way she’d occasionally throw a glance at her brother, her harsh expression softening just a fraction. there was something about her, a quiet strength that intrigued you.
“hi.” you said, approaching hesitantly. your own brother, looked up, his sandy hands momentarily still. you told her your name.
her dark eyes, sharp and assessing, met yours. “Saebyeok,” she replied, her voice low and a little rough, like gravel. “this is Cheol.” she gestured to the boy beside her.
from that first meeting, there was an unspoken understanding between you, something beyond the shared experience of little brothers. you found yourself drawn to her, to the way she moved, her quiet determination, even in the simple act of keeping an eye on Cheol. you started making it a point to be at the park most afternoons, and soon you fell into a rhythm. the two of you would sit on the same bench, kids playing in the sand between you two, talking about anything and everything, or sometimes nothing at all.
you insisted she and Cheol come to your house for dinner. at first, she was hesitant, her gaze darting around your spacious house like a startled animal. but Cheol was immediately captivated by your collection of picture books, and she couldn’t deny him that. you loved watching her with him, the way she’d ruffle his hair and gently correct his pronunciation, a fondness that betrayed the wall she tried so hard to build around herself.
you started having them over regularly. you’d make pancakes on Sunday mornings, and you’d laugh over Cheol’s sticky face and Saebyeok’s attempts at maintaining a poker face while secretly enjoying the chaos. you’d notice the little things — the way she sat, the way she’d look at you, searching for something in your expression.
you knew she was struggling. you could see it in the worn clothes, the way she’d sometimes space out, her eyes distant. your parents, oblivious to such things, were concerned about your new friendship, their comments dripping with subtle condensation. but you didn’t care. you didn’t see her as some pickpocketing girl. you saw her as someone complex, someone layered with experiences that had shaped her, and you wanted to know her completely.
“you know,” Saebyeok said one evening, as Cheol was finally asleep on your couch after a particularly exhausting day of playing, “you don’t have to worry about food here. or anything for Cheol. we’re good.” she looked at you, her eyes narrowed. “i don’t want your charity.”
“it’s not charity,” you protested, your voice rising. “it’s helping a friend. besides, Cheol loves it here. and so do you, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
she didn’t answer, which, in her way, was an admission. you continued to push gently, not with words, but with actions. you’d buy her groceries, leaving them discretely at her door, knowing she’d eventually use them. you’d invite her to join you on shopping trips, pretending you needed her opinion, secretly enjoying watching her pick out new clothes for Cheol. you’d leave warm tea for her in the middle of the night, if you saw the light on in the window of her apartment, hoping she’d see it as a sign of your care.
slowly, painstakingly, she began to let her guard down. she told you about her mother, her brother, and the struggles she’d endured. she spoke of the fear and the helplessness, the burden she carried on her shoulders. she spoke of her desperation to get her family back together.
and as she spoke, you found yourself falling. falling for her strength, her rare vulnerability, her fierce love for her brother. you loved the way she’d furrow her brow when she was concentrating, the way her lip would twitch when she was trying not to smile. you loved the sound of her low voice, even when she was being sarcastic.
you’d catch yourself stealing glances, your heart thrumming in your chest. the way her eyes would linger on yours a touch too long, the slight blush that would creep up on her neck after you’d brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. it was subtle, almost unnoticeable, but it was there; a connection that went beyond friendship.
one day, you found yourself tracing the outline of her hand with your fingertip as you sat on the couch, your brother and Cheol dozing between you. the touch was light, hesitant, but her gaze locked with yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. there was something in her eyes, something that mirrored the feelings you had been desperately trying to ignore.
she whispered your name, her voice barely audible. your name on her lips was a revelation.
you didn’t say anything. you didn’t need to. you both knew. you were teetering on the edge of something new, something terrifying and exhilarating, something that you both wanted, but were both scared to admit. you were two girls from different worlds, drawn together by little brothers and a connection deeper than anything you’d ever imagined. and the journey from there was a story waiting to be written.
#kang sae byeok#kang saebyeok#sae byeok#saebyeok#kang sae byeok x reader#kang saebyeok x reader#sae byeok x reader#saebyeok x reader#squid game#squid game x reader
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★ comfort
☾ jaime lannister x top m reader
𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴𝘩0𝘵 ⛥ prince charming jaime lannister (s1 jaime) is my fav; also genuinely the first fic of mine where the pairing kisses lip to lip
𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 ⛥ 3.0k words
cw: long intro, lighthearted s*x, reunion s*x, soft, cheating, light incest (don't sue me, it's game of thrones, they're very distant cousins however many times removed) , calling your lover names playfully (bastard, asshole), more plot than porn (entire second part is s*x, but not focused on the s*x)
"Did you grow up with boy-cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stable boys."
"Of course."
"And you... never..?"
"No."
"Not once? Not in any way?"
"Never."
You were never destined for anything.
You were born a Lannister, yes, but you were so far from the main line that you were set to inherit nothing. You were only a Lannister by name, long lines of second sons marrying outside of important houses over and over until your blonde locks were nothing but dirty.
Your father did not own a large sum of Lannister fortune. His greatest achievement was being the squire of one of Tywin's lesser brothers; but his brother never lead any wars, and so that was hardly a feat anyway.
When you were born, it seemed like you would follow in your father's footsteps. There was hardly anything Lannister about you.
Your greatest feat would probably be setting foot in Casterly Rock to shovel horse shit to and fro. At least then you'd get to admire your distant cousins, the glorious ones, the ones you'd use in your fantasies as the shoes you'd like to wear.
Except, one day you stole a sword and caught the eye of Tywin's lesser brother, the very same that your father had squired for. He showed you, in turn, to his brother, Tywin Lannister.
Under the Lord of Casterly Rock's eyes, you showed promise.
Before Jaime Lannister ever took up the sword with a purpose that wasn't "because daddy told me to", there was you in the training grounds as far as he could remember.
There was you, strong, barely a teen yet.
You became friends, then, under the sword. Tywin bid you an example for his son. As a boy, you were hardly fit to be an example, so instead you became friends.
Between his overzealous sister, his outcast brother, his jealous cousins and the frightened servants, you were the best friend he could ever have.
From friends, you became... not lovers, but something close. It was hardly romance, it was hormones, it was just boys being boys, and it was only fooling around. A kiss or two, sometimes longer, sometimes with tongue; playing at maturity.
With you, Jaime got a taste for breaking the rules and the thrill of sneaking out of his bedroom under the bright cast of moonlight. He got his first taste of romantic companionship, and he liked it.
You were only a couple years older then, but Jaime's dislike for letters caused him to be bound to the book for several hours a day, and so you were the stronger swordfighter.
He admired you. You were more literate than him, though most people are, and stronger, taller, more built, more worked.
You knew hardship and, as the heir to Casterly Rock, he didn't.
He got his first taste of hardship when you were summoned to become a King's Guard, and he did not like it.
Jaime had never begged before. "Don't go. Please, don't go."
And you had never denied him. "I must."
That's why, when you left for the King's Guard, he was left in despair. Despair caused impulse, and he fell back to his sister.
You did not send any ravens the years you were gone, so you grew apart. Jaime held some resentment too, for the first couple of years when he became a King's Guard, so you grew further apart.
He had his sister now, and she was a jealous woman.
The older you grew, the more you thought of your little youthful escapades as just that, things of the youth, inconsequential to anything else of your now adult existance.
Jaime came around eventually.
He became the better swordsman. He was quite fine with letters, and stronger, taller, more discreet, more dutiful.
You were lovers once more, but only that. This time, you knew how to please a man, but again he was only learning. You pleased each other under the influence of wine, or maybe not. Maybe sometimes your minds were unobstructed, and instead, you were more truthful, softer... and some rare nights, you only talked, you shared heart-to-hearts.
But you weren't friends, not by actions. You did not talk often enough, freely enough, unguarded. You were just lovers.
Regardless, to Jaime, there was great comfort in knowing that you were somewhere in the Red Keep, still there for him, still alive. It was one of the things he fought to remember during his year-long journey back to King's Landing.
When you open your door to leave your chambers, you are quickly pushed back inside.
Jaime's there. He's different, but he's there, and he slams the door behind him. You take it as another moment where he seeks the comfort of your body, especially after what you heard had happened to him. The idea occurs naturally to you, even after a year apart.
You kiss him roughly, cupping his cheeks in your hands, because you've missed him.
Jaime breaths hard into the kiss. He's breathing hard in general, and it's more evident when he pushes you away.
You lose your footing in a daze and land on a chair. It'd be a great position, and you'd be quite excited in anticipation, if it weren't for the look on his face.
"Jaime?"
"You didn't come see me." He says, angrily. His arms are crossed, hands—hand folded over his inner elbow.
Standing before you is a shadow of the man Jaime once was. His hair is shorter, darker, his skin is tanner, he's got dark circles under his eyes. He looks worn.
This is a man who has gone through hell. This is a man going through his second war, a man who was held prisoner for a time, who had to kill his cousin, and who tracked through mud and shit to get back to his home. He was missing a bloody hand!
And you didn't go see him.
"No, I didn't." You sit up quickly, fixing the smirk on your lips to a neutral one. "I thought Cersei would keep you, or that you'd be busy recovering...or that our family would want to see you."
"Cersei saw me." Jaime said pointedly. The next moment, he's climbing onto your lap, bracketing your legs with his. "I saw Joffrey and Tommen. Myrcella is gone, and I just found out. Tyrion had his opportunity. Father wished to do nothing but scold me. I was recovering from my journey in my chambers for three days. You didn't come see me."
"I didn't... and now I see I have no excuse." You keep your eyes on him. Past his heavy lids and dark circles, his eyes are the same as you last saw them, a beautiful green.
"All I could think about was getting back to you." He says through gritted teeth, and though it was a lie, you would believe it. He shifts his hips to rub against your length, a subtle grind.
It loses all subtlety when he continues, over and over. Pleasure rises.
"You are." You say with shaky breaths, heavy enough to mirror his. Your eyes close instinctively, head tilted down to the source of your pleasure.
You haven't had him in a year. You miss him, his body. A brothel whore cannot compare.
"Look at me." His teeth are still gritted. He grasps your face with his hand, squeezing your cheeks in the pull to make you look at him.
"Jaime." You say, acknowledging him, looking at him once more.
He looks angry. It's in his gritted teeth and wide eyes and his heaving chest, it's in his words—but he's not violent, no, never to you.
You kiss him, lick into his mouth to urge his tongue to meet yours. His teeth separate, not with a screeching difficulty, but easily. It's almost familiar, the way his tongue feels against yours, the taste of his saliva.
You have known this man longer than you haven't. Perhaps he is missing a hand, perhaps he is wrinkled and older, but he is still the same man you tousled with in your youth.
You find yourselves eventually on the bed, like you have a hundred times before. You on your back, him on your lap.
Except this time it is not quite as swift, and this time he is struggling with the clasps of your armor.
"Let me."
"No."
You do it anyway. Jaime watches you sit up and he sighs. He thinks of himself as helpless, a mope of a man settled on your lap like a peasant sitting on the Iron Throne.
He sighs out of his nose once more, but to you, he only seems like a sad puppy. "Knights can hardly do this themselves. That's what squires are for. I'm sure you've never heard of a one-handed squire."
"That's not helping." Jaime huffs.
"Look," You say, with all the parts of your chest plate, shoulder parts and neck pieces off. You fix his arms around your neck, "you can still wrap them around here. That's all that matters, hm? All you need is to hold on tight enough."
"Asshole." Jaime says as he pushes you onto your back again, though there's a bit of a lift to his lips.
It's the third time he pushes you. "Pushy."
"Asshole." He repeats.
There's little else to remove after that, just the flowing scales covering your crotch that he removes easily with new determination, and your shin guards, but those won't obstruct the path to your dick.
He undoes the laces of your pants with two harsh tugs and then your cock is free to him. With the way he's looking at it like a meal, you're sure he's missed it.
"Do you still keep oil behind the curtains?" Jaime asks, already reaching behind the canopy's bedpost, where the curtain is usually wrapped securely around the flask.
"No." He looks disappointed then, for a moment. "At least it means I've been loyal to you?"
"It can just as well mean that you've only been visiting brothels." Jaime laughs, leaning his forearms on either side of your head to kiss you before you can protest.
You like this, it's easy; it's carefree and humorous. You can feel his smile against your lips.
He shifts his position to press his ass to your cock and grind against the length of it, swallowing your groan with his lips. You hardly noticed when he tugged off his own pants.
For a moment you think that might be how he gets you off, but then one of his arms leaves the mattress, and his fingers are gathering precum from the tip of your swollen head.
It sacrifices his balance, and you catch him before his full weight falls on you. "Bastard." You breathe out a laugh.
"What?" Jamie returns a grin, though it falls open just slightly when he stretches himself out with your precum as lubrication. Quite the sight.
"One journey from the North to King's Landing on foot, and suddenly you don't care for cleanliness?"
He winces slightly, "One, I was also tricked into drinking horse piss. Two, you're cumming inside sooner or later, it's not very different, is it?"
"One," You mirror with raised eyebrows, "what in the Seven Hells? Two, fair enough."
Holding up his thinner body with one hand is easy enough, and if it weren't, you'd have sacrificed the possibility of him falling onto you for the opportunity to hold his face.
You cup his cheek. In another time, a year ago, your fingernails would've been tickled by boyishly long hair. Now, his hair is only prickly.
"Will you grow it out again?"
Jaime thinks on it. He thinks about how it stuck to his face whenever it was dirty with muck or grime, about how easy it was to tug at his hair, how it was used to tug him backwards into horseshit or some other crazed punishment... but he also thinks about how much you liked it, how you often sweetly pushed it off his forehead when it stuck, how tugging at it did feel good in intimate situations such as this.
"I might." Is what he settles for, and he relishes the sight of your smile.
He's good at prepping himself and keeping a smug face. You've seen it thousands of times before, when he's tired of being ordered around and decided he needed to take control for once. You've seen him the other way around just as many times, quite willing to give up the reigns because he's just so tired.
There's just something about another person's hand.
"Oh..." Jaime moans as you push his hand away and replace his fingers with yours.
Furtheremore, you let him slump forward. You're almost—nay, you are cuddling in this way. Your legs even tangle. You've got him right on top of you, one hand over his back and the other prepping him, letting him just relax.
"That feel good?"
He's practically melting on top of you. It's rather funny how nonchalant he replies with the subtle nod of his head and, "Yeah, uh-huh."
You drag your other hand over his spine and up to hold the back of his head. "Tell me about your journey."
"Okay," He hums pliantly, "Robb Stark captured me in an ambush... which, though it cost me hell, is quite admirable for a boy born after the war. I spent several months travelling behind the army convoys as a prisoner, without a roof, without a floor. Just a stick in the mud and a shitty cage."
He recounts the journey while you prep him languidly like you have all the time in the world.
You don't have all the time in the world. You'll only have tonight, and perhaps the next night, thought it is quite unlikely. Before long, you're sure, Cersei will stop this grudge of hers and Jaime will be gone again, only crawling back after another lovers' quarrel.
"Are you listening?" Jaime suddenly asks, voice rather soft. He looks up at you, beautiful green eyes batting under his eyelashes. Yes, you're looking.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm listening." You say dismissively.
"Hold on a moment."
Jaime sits up to straddle you once more. You watch him go up all the way, eyes locked onto his. He's beautiful; different, worn, but still beautiful.
He shakes his head with a small laugh, "What are you looking at?"
You're so distracted with his face that you don't realize him sliding down onto your cock in one swift motion. "Fuck."
"Fuck is what you're looking at?" Jaime teases.
"Bastard."
"Ah, ah, ah," He tuts his tongue, hand on your abdomen as he rolls his hips. "you already used that one once. Be a little more creative, for once?"
You roll your eyes yet reply anyway, "Dickhead."
Jaime grins, "Better."
You settle a hand on his hip, helping guide his movements as well as make sure he doesn't lose his balance, what with the hand and all. It's... he's probably fine, but you can't help but be cautious.
You wrap your other hand on what remains of his wrist, almost as if to hold his hand. He notices the gesture.
His voice is soft when he says, "As I was saying?"
You nod your head, "As you were saying."
"About losing my hand... suppose I was way in over my head. I'd managed to convince that bastard of a man, Locke to leave lady Brienne untouched. I thought I could convince him to do more, to give me a decent meal and a fire, but instead, he convinced me that he was following along with my orders. Next moment, his men are pinning me down and he cuts my hand off himself. For the next months, he ties the bloody thing around my neck and I can't even take it off."
Grueling business to talk about while he rides you, but you've never held off from venting during these moments. It makes release all the sweeter, releasing your problems as well as your pent up sexual frustrations.
It's soft, all of it. The hand holding, the slow pace and desire to clench around every part of your cock, the eye contact, the easy way he tells you the entire story without sparing details to save his dignity.
"I should've gone after you." You sigh, kissing his bandaged wrist.
"No, you're a King's Guard, not a foot soldier." Jaime shakes his head, heaving a sigh. "You–"
You flip him over easily. "I should've gone after you." You say, and it's almost like you have authority over him, leaning over his body. You do, really, you're in control of your pleasure now.
Speechless, Jaime doesn't fight you. "Yeah."
You start up slow again, but quickly build up in chase of his pleasure. Jaime breathes out a shaky sigh, breaths growing heavier with each thrust.
"I'm sorry for all you've been through," Jaime has half the mind to protest, but you give him a look and continue, "and I wish I could kill every man that wronged you myself. I'm glad for Catelyn Stark, and glad for lady Brienne. I'm also happy that you're back, back to me. Happier than women leaving Maester Pycelle's room."
He wraps his arms around your neck, like you'd showed him earlier, and his legs around your waist. He's holding you close, for comfort, as if to make sure you're really there.
It's silly to do so. You're in front of his very eyes, your cock is fucking him open, and you're very much real.
"I'm happy I'm back with you." He mirrors with a grin, "Happier than even your cock is, I'm sure."
You kiss. No teeth, no tongue, just him and you holding it for as long as possible.
Maybe he will go back to Cersei. You think it almost inevitable; but at least you're sure there's a little part of him that loves you dearly, even if you might never admit it to each other.
For tonight, he's yours.
Yours to lavish, yours to pleasure, yours to fuck.
Yours to love.
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i read your post about punkness and thought i'd ask you since i love this account. i saw a tiktok (i know not a great place already) that said that you can't call yourself punk/be punk if you don't go to shows. is that true...? im severely disabled and deaf so i can't really listen to music and leave my house, but i've always identified myself with the punk/goth scene. i know music is a huge part of subcultures so i've always felt very left out of (online mainly) punk/goth spaces even though i try and participate in other ways.
hello there!
not only is that not true, but it's ableist and lame as hell. that is so pretentious, i am so tired of online punks distilling punk to "listens to loud music". and further more, people trying to create a divide between "real and fake punks." this is just the "POSER!!!!!!" fake goth shit from the 2000s all over again. punk shows are genuinely dangerous for a lot of people for quite literally no reason whatsoever. like they're enjoyable for many, but they are NOT accessible to disabled people in general. some places im sure go above and beyond but most are organized by someone who's intoxicated, or thinking about the "wow" factor more than anyone's safety or well being.
i don't go to shows anymore. i did for the better part of a year and then stopped because i am also disabled. most of the venues are VERY small and crowded. there is no room for mobility aids. i've had to be out on the floor with other people dancing and moshing without even a cane. you can very easily get pushed or hit or knocked down and people may or may not help you get up. also the crowds get filmed without anyone being informed beforehand that there might be filming happening and that might not feel welcoming to paranoid people
there's almost always flashing lights at shows for some reason, which can be extremely dangerous for epileptic and photosensitive individuals. these sorts of spaces are hell on earth for anxious people, people with PTSD, autism, schizophrenia, ADHD and many other kinds of neurodivergence and mental illness. there's generally not really spaces where you can decompress or stop hearing loud noises for a while. i literally just hung out outside most of the venues because the music was so loud it was making my ears ring. people with tinnitus and misophonia are going to struggle greatly in these environments
alcohol and drugs are the norms at these shows. often times, minors are not carded, and are in fact given booze and alcohol anyways because the show organizers just don't see that as a bad thing. i witnessed show organizers in my own area giving drugs and alcohol to minors and not carding anyone. i was offered so many different types of drugs and offered alcohol so many times it made me dizzy. i had issues with alcohol in the past and have trauma surrounding it and being around drunk people. these environments are NOT friendly for addicts and substance users who are trying to maintain a healthy relationship with substances, or those who need to be away from them in order to heal
like you mentioned, a lot of d/Deaf and hard of hearing people may not feel included in these spaces. not only that but shows can CAUSE hearing damage and loss, due to the fact that no one is making sure that the music is being played at a safe volume. most of the time it's as loud as the speakers will go, or close to it. most of the instruments are either intentionally poorly tuned, or tuned in such a way where they sound harsh, aggressive, avant garde and unique. as a result, this can hurt a lot of people's ears, overstimulate them, or cause them to faint if it's certain tones or decibels. i know many punks who developed hearing loss due to this
i tried to point out that saying that punks HAVE to listen to punk music is ableist toward d/Deaf and hard of hearing people but for whatever reason that pissed people off. but i'd like to stress again: if you assert that punks HAVE to listen to punk music, you are leaving out people with hearing difficulties. not all d/Deaf and hard of hearing people can't hear anything at all, I understand this. but saying that punks HAVE to listen to music is leaving out so many people with hearing difficulties or those who are in danger of losing their hearing. please be compassionate. this is a serious issue.
it's not virtue signalling to say that this affects deaf and hoh punks in a very serious way. thank you for reaching out to talk about it. honestly, shame on everyone who said it's virtue signalling to point out that punks saying you have to listen to music is a slap in the face to a lot of deaf and hoh people. i hope this gives you something to think about. you really need to consider people on every side of a spectrum when it comes to a disability. you need to care about people with significant or total hearing loss, too.
anyone who tells you you HAVE to go to shows and listen to punk music is a cop without realizing it. they're policing who punks are and what they do. that's gatekeeping. that's policing others' identities. that's literally unpunk. as long as you resonate with punk ideals and aren't a cop or other kind of fascist, you're a punk. it really is that simple. it's an entire subculture outside of just the music. i get how important the music is. but it's literally so ableist to say that punks HAVE to listen to music and HAVE to go to shows.
also, not all punks have the time. some punks have a family to care for or careers they enjoy. not all punks have a local punk music scene at all. that's a very privileged approach if you ask me.
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Twilight New Age
After inheriting her grandparents house in the Quileute reservation, La Push, Y/N moves to her home rez. Hoping to start a new life she is soon involved with what she thought were just old legends.
Paul Lahote x Reader
Romance | Fantasy | Drama | Angst
CHAPTER 3
<<CHP 2
The music was playing loud with the help of Embry’s subwoofer. Everyone was feeling the drinks as the group talked over one another. Only the older members sat around the bonfire. Consisting of Y/n, Quil, Kim, Emily, Leah, Sam, Embry, and Jared.
Leah and Embry sat beside y/n on either sides. Emily and Kim eventually found their way to their respective partners. Kim and Jared sat next to each other basically fondling one another. Emily and Sam were too absorbed with one another to even join the group conversation.
Almost an hour and a half had passed since Paul had left. Y/n still sat with her heart racing out of her chest as she barely finishing her first drink. Still nursing what was left in the can. Wondering anxiously when Paul would get back. Feelings in turmoil as she switched from feeling desperate to frustration at herself.
The three outside of y/n seemed to take no notice or care about the couples. It seemed that it was just something normal for the others. Y/n faded in and out of the conversation, thinking of him, then snapping into reality. She wondered if he’d even come back.
She was getting along with Leah, there were some qualities they shared, even some interests. Y/n was relieved to know she wasn’t as scary as she thought. She was one of the most welcoming and generous people out of the group aside Emily.
“So your grandma said you’re living all alone down at her old place?”
“Yeah just me out there at the moment”
“Seems a lot of work for one person. How are you handling it all?” Leah asked with serious concern. Y/n nervously laughed “I’m handling it so far yeah. It’s true it’s a lot of work for me but not much besides the house I have to look after. I’ll worry about the yard once the snow is fully melted.“
“Well if you ever need any help I live nearby your place. I’ll give you my number in case of anything. Or if you just want to hang. I’m sure you can handle but it’s still scary for a single girl to live alone there. It’s a pretty isolated area”
“Really? I appreciate that it’ll help. I’ve been worried about the recent wolf sightings in my area. Least I know you’re around”
Leah fell silent after they exchanged numbers. Embry she enjoyed as well but y/n found it hard to befriend men most of the time. It never lasted long with her guy friends in the past. Besides she wasn’t sure if she was wanting to just befriend him.
Other times she’d be really enjoying herself. But after feeling that intense connection earlier from Paul she wasn’t sure about much now. It didn’t help the fact that Embry and Leah kept bickering with one another quite loudly.
“So how are we feeling tonight y/n?” Embry asked catching her attention. He wore a soft smile on his face. “Great. How’s your night so far?” She asked earnestly with a smile as he leaned in closer. Her cheeks flushing at how close they were at the moment.
“Same here. You’re not much of a drinker are you” He asked looking down at her empty can. She shrugged her shoulders “Usually” she said as he scoffed. “Usually? Why not tonight? I thought you were having a great night” he asked with a worried look.
“I mean I am but—“ y/n trailed off nervously. Embry shook his head slightly. “But?” Gazing into his eyes he gave off a unique Intense energy. An unsuspecting darkness was hidden inside him. He must’ve noticed from Leah and y/n’s reaction how he was behaving. Leaning back slightly away from her as Leah got up to leave.
“I just…” Y/n trailed off trying to figure what to say. Explain that she somehow missed Paul even though they literally just met? She wasn’t sure If one could even call that an introduction.
“Look, I get that you’re not used to being around people like us. We can come off how do I put it. A bit scary? Intense? I dunno but personally I hope you have a good time here with all of us. In the meantime can I get you a new drink?” He offered which made y/n smile.
“Sure, thank you” she answered as Embry stood up. But before he could leave she pulled onto the edge of his sleeve. “I just wanna say I am having fun. I don’t wanna give off the impression I’m not. It’s just that I didn’t realize how tired I am y’know? But I’m sure a drink will help with that”
He smiled slightly at her nodding in acknowledgment. Leaving to get a drink out of the cooler for her y/n sat in thought. Her heart beat was still pounding loudly. The lingering energy settled over her and her heart.
It wasn’t as if she thought everyone was scary. They seemed interesting in a way she couldn’t describe. A certain mystery that she wanted to unravel about all of them. They seemed so close and familiar. It made the feeling of being a new person all the more obvious.
The evening was great so far, but with how much time had passed, she wondered if Paul would return. Would she even cross paths with Paul again? She wanted to rid herself of this inner conflict she was going through already.
Maybe then she could actually focus on her surroundings. She kept getting flashbacks to her dreams. Running in the woods wildly, the light of the moon, with the sounds of howls echoing the valleys. Chills ran down her back all the way across her spine.
Embry came with her new drink in hand. She kept harshly blinking as to help with her vision, fading in and out of reality, then back to her place in her dreams. As she reached for the can she saw a flash of fierce piercing grey eyes in her mind. Making her gasp in surprise she almost dropped her drink.
The loud noise of truck pipes echoed as a black truck rolled up. Instantly catching the attention of everyone as the driver slammed into park. Y/n once again felt a wave of chills go through her. She knew there was only one person it could be.
Paul had returned with Seth by his side. He wore a completely different outfit than the one had a few hours ago she noticed. Glancing up he found her and locked eyes instantly. She was frozen in place as he made his way down to the area.
Sam rose to greet the two as Paul kept his eyes on y/n. The rest of the group eventually stood along with y/n. At this point all y/n felt she could do was look away and stare into the fire. Feeling his intense look baring down into the side of her neck.
“Paul you made it” Sam said as he was almost instantly ignored. Embry stood beside y/n not bothered by his entrance. Paul was glaring at him, while y/n scanned Paul once more, looking upon his face closely.
“So” His voice was smooth but gruff. He had a slight smirk across his face standing in from of her. Y/n looked up as she breathed in regaining composure. All everyone else could do was watch and wait in anticipation.
“You’re her aren’t you?” Paul said in a tone that made her heart race. “Her?” She answered as he wore a stern expression. One that seemed like he wouldn’t let up. His intensity was something y/n had never experienced before.
“The one. Everyone has talked about you at least once a day since you came” He said making y/n lift an eyebrow, she felt he was somehow annoyed, at how much everyone was excited over her. “Yeah well that’s me. And you are?” She asked as he smiled slightly at her response.
“Paul” he said causing a short pause between the two. For both it felt like an eternity fit into a second. Y/n’s eyes trailed from his eyes down to his lips. Down to his neck and chest focusing on his collarbone. She was too busy taking in his features to realize he was also.
“I never got your name” he said as she felt the warmth on her face spreading. “My name is y/n… Not just the one” y/n bluntly corrected Paul. He smiled finally breaking the harsh exterior he held. “I’d hope not” he said as y/n felt somehow more at ease now that he was back.
The rest of the guys broke the conversation by pulling Paul to the drinks. Catching both of the two by surprise. Everyone erupting into conversation as y/n caught her breath. Separating into their respective corners.
She felt her nerves calmly settling down. As her heart beat steadied she sat down clutching her chest. Embry took notice as he joined her side once more. “Hey you okay?” He asked worried as she nodded her head.
“I’m fine it’s just a bit cold out here. Still getting used to it I guess” she tried to assure while he shook his head. Embry wore a thick fleece lined flannel jacket which he was trying to take off.
Leah instantly as she seen the sight and got up to intervene. Knowing how the situation would bode with a certain someone. Paul was already shooting deathly eye glares from his corner. Leah rushed over with a blanket, wrapped up y/n, before Embry could place his jacket on her.
Y/n flushed red as Leah wrapped not only the blanket but her arms around her. “Here” Leah said looking down at her, she could smell her scent waft past, which was a mix of rain and lavender. Embry frowned as he shuffled his jacket back on.
“Even from where I sat you could see how cold you are” Leah smiled teasing y/n who was bashful. As Leah rubbed her shoulders for warmth before sitting back beside her. “Thank you. I’m not used to the weather here just yet” y/n replied in a soft tone.
“Is it bad if I hope you don’t?” Leah said as she peered in close to y/n. Gazing at her through her thick lashes y/n felt flustered. Noticing how close the distance was to the two. Jared and Kim sat with Paul who was sitting on the edge of his seat.
“Now why would you hope for that? You wish for me to be freezing all the time?” y/n answered trying to focus. But Leah had her own intensity to her that y/n struggled to match. Leah in the other hand couldn’t but find her demeanour cute.
“Because. Then I wouldn’t be able to warm you up like this” Leah made y/n instantly blush heat spreading across her face. Leah sat with a sly but subtle smirk as she stifled a laugh. Quil on the other hand was sick of watching everyone fight over his cousin.
Everyone was acting different since she arrived he noticed. It was as if they all forgot how to act in the first place. When did everyone get so sweet? He rose from his seat eager to march right over. Paul determined to follow him but Sam whipped a glare to him.
The loud sound of a car arriving interrupted everyone. As they all shifted their heads to see who had pulled up. Y/n felt her heart drop into her gut in an awful way. Everything in her body told her she should flee. Instead her body froze stiff in place.
The men all stood up on alert before the truck could even fully park. Sensing something that y/n was somehow also reacting to. Paul whipped his head over to Quil then y/n. Embry left y/n’s side walking over to stand by Sam.
Quil marched over to y/n taking Embry’s place at her side. Y/n noticed Quil’s protective stance as everyone else stood up alert. Leah also rushed in front of y/n as if to block her from something.
Out from the truck was Jacob and the girl Renesmee. Y/n stiffened again as the two immediately locked eyes. Sam rushed up to meet with Jacob who walked with Renesmee in stride.
The two men began to talk in harsh but hush tones to each other. Renesmee kept her eyes on y/n who was trying to stray away from the girl. Looking down eager to avoid y/n felt utter chills throughout her body.
“Hey there. It’s me from the diner remember?” Renesmee beamed innocently with a bright smile. Strolling over past the two men and the rest of the group confidently over to y/n. Everyone eyed her with wild and fierce eyes shocked.
Y/n slightly gasped upon hearing her voice, seeing her coming over, she felt her self hesitate. Quil and Leah immediately closed ranks sliding close to one another. Shoulder to shoulder they blocked Renesmee from approaching further
“Just the other day was when we met. I’m sure Quil remembers. I didn’t think you’d be here what a nice surprise!” The girl continued as Quil nodded with a straight stern face. “Yes it’s good to see you too” he tried to dismiss her. But to no avail as she peered over and in between the two to look at y/n.
“Yes hi Renes—”
“Jacob” Paul called out in a serious tone as he hovered close by. Arms crossed as he showed obvious discontent. “Renesmee” Jacob called out making the girl look back concerned. In a brief moment she sighed and joined his side once more.
Y/n couldn’t help but notice everyone’s strange behaviour. How the energy shifted as soon as these two pulled up. But she wasn’t quite sure how to react given the mood so far. Kim and Jared looked at one another before they separated.
“C’mon y/n I think we should go for a quick cruise. Leah come with us. We’re almost out of drinks” Kim chimed in as y/n looked back up at Renesmee. A sad look upon her face as she gazed into the fire. Kim quickly linked arms with y/n pulling her away from the area.
“Em you too” Leah spoke in a firm tone as Emily nodded. The four left together explaining they’d be right back. Y/n didn’t know what Kim meant by saying there were hardly drinks. When there were at least two coolers full still. She understood there was something weird going on they didn’t want to say.
Whatever it was had to do with Renesmee somehow. Or at least Jacob she decided in her mind on the drive to the liquor store. Even the girls didn’t dare bring the two of them up. Leah drove since she didn’t have anything to drink.
As she parked the car y/n made the other two girls go inside. Wanting to sit alone with Leah for a moment. Y/n waited for Leah to light her cigarette. Watching as she exhaled her smoke into the air.
“So that was Renesmee and Jacob huh? I remember Jacob but I’m not sure who the girl is”
Y/n tried to make her intentions discreet. Leah took a long drag, thinking of what to say, she took a moment before answering. “I thought she said you met at the diner” y/n agreed but quickly dismissed her.
“But that was quick I barely spent a minute with her” Leah nodded slightly. “Yeah well that might be for the best” Leah answered as she took a drag. Her ash lighting up as she inhaled. She seemed so reserved y/n thought as she looked at her.
“For the best? What do you mean by that?” Y/n peered curiously. Wondering what could be so wrong about Renesmee. “I hardly know the girl either. Just that her and Jacob have been gone for like 3-4 years until now. The girl can be a bit much at times from what I remember” Leah continued.
“And Jacob? Is that his…” y/n trailed off unsure whether to say it out loud or not. Leah glanced over with a small smirk. “His what?” Leah questioned as y/n blushed. “I mean is that y’know… His girlfriend?“ Leah laughed slightly as she flicked her cigarette out the window.
“No that’s not his girlfriend. They’re close like…” she struggled to explain as y/n tried guessing. “His little sister?” She answered as Leah agreed. “Yeah… Yeah something like that…” Leah finished her cigarette putting it out. The two girls were coming out the store now with small bags.
Once they returned y/n noticed how they came with more bags of ice than anything. More so than the booze they were supposedly getting. She didn’t want to question since no one needed to black out tonight. Hopefully these boys weren’t black outs who’d fight each other when wasted.
“Good to see Jacob back isn’t it?” Kim brought up lightly, her and y/n sat in the back, as the other two sat quietly. “It is yeah…” Emily said drifting off onto something unrelated. The topic of Renesmee wasn’t brought up in the slightest. It was like she didn’t exist to these people.
Getting back to the beach Jacob and Renesmee were gone, everyone explained they just came for a bit, since Renesmee was supposedly tired. Jacob decided to bring her home instead. Explaining he won’t be able to make it back until another day.
Unadmittedly y/n was disappointed to know she was gone. There was something about her y/n felt she needed to uncover. Why does she keep haunting her dreams with her presence? It all wasn’t making much sense to her. Figuring if she got to know her maybe it’d explain somethings.
Jacob as well she surprisingly missed. She’d cross paths with him as a child growing up. Since him and Quil were always close, she had hardly recognized him, not like she knew him that well anyways. But it was a missed opportunity she was hoping to get another day.
She tried not to focus on it too much and instead focused on visiting here. Tonight would most likely not be different than the rest. Renesmee would likely be awaiting for her in her dreams. As she went to sit down on the logs with the rest Paul came towards her.
She felt nervous as he stepped close, in his hands were a warm blanket, looking up at him he wore a stern expression. “Have this” he said bluntly making her quickly take it in her arms. “It’s cold out tonight. You’ll need it to stay warm” he said very matter of fact. He smelt of firewood smoke and a faint smell of cologne.
“Oh okay…Thank you” she said softly as he handed her a drink, the kind she was drinking before, instead it was a fresh one. Before he walked away satisfied back to his seat. Wrapping herself in the blanket she couldn’t help but blush at the interaction. How thoughtful she thought as the rest watched closely.
The rest of the evening y/n spent with Kim and Emily. Despite y/n’s attempts hardly anyone spoke of Renesmee. The conversation always somehow leading back to Jacob. It bothered her since she was overly curious of the girl.
“So y/n what do you usually like doing around here? Now that you’re fully moved back?” Emily had asked y/n. “I mean there’s not much to do around here really. Well at least from what I remember” she said making everyone laugh.
“That’s quite true” Emily said as she calmed down. Y/n couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed for the comment. “I love going to the beach but it’s not warm out yet. Hiking too but again it’s so cold yet. I’m mainly at home unless I travel out to the city” she said trying to shift the focus off of her somehow.
“Well how about sometime this week you come over for dinner? I usually cook big meals and we’d love to have someone new come by. I can show you what we do for fun here” Emily was sincere and kind which y/n was glad for. “Yeah of course I’ll come” y/n said eagerly making the rest smile, except for Paul, who looked over to Sam and Emily concerned.
“Just let me know what kind of dishes you like. I can cook whatever it’s no issue. Since these guys hunt I usually have a variety of wild game” Emily insisted sweetly. Ignoring Paul’s glares and Sam’s concerns.
“Wow really? You guys hunt?” Y/n asked the rest of the men who were surprised by the sudden attention. “I mean yeah all the time” Embry said in a semi sarcastic tone that y/n caught. Y/n frowned slightly as she turned away. Soon as she did Paul elbowed Embry’s side harshly.
“I can bring by some meat to stock your freezer. I know you love elk meat” Quil chimed in making y/n perk up. “Really? I’d really appreciate that since I haven’t eaten it in so long” y/n said as Quil nodded.
“Wait a minute. I knew I recognized you! But I wasn’t sure from where. You’re the cousin that Quil took to prom right? What was that? Junior or sophomore year?” Jared exclaimed as he finally remembered. Both Quil and y/n’s face flushed with embarrassment.
“Yeah it was grade eleven I came out for the prom. It was a goodnight” y/n explained much to Quil’s objections. “Sorry I didn’t remember sooner. But damn that was bugging me for a while” Jared said relieved.
Everyone got a rise out of that as they shared stories of that night. “I remember because everyone thought she was your girlfriend. Awe man most of the guys were so jealous until they knew she was your cousin” Jared continued on.
It was starting to annoy Paul as much as Quil. “Yeah well I had the prettiest girl on my arm that night that’s all that mattered” Quil defended his self while the boys continued to tease him.
“That’s because you couldn’t get a real date” Embry started as the two broke into rough housing one another. “Fuck you, you didn’t even show up with a date, at least I did” he bickered as Embry tried choking him.
The conversation trailed off into what the guys wanted to show y/n. Once the two broke apart thanks to Paul. Which was just basically a variety of the sports they all played. She got along with Embry and Quil the most. Since they all had somewhat nerdy interests. Embry’s sarcastic humour was starting to rub off on her.
Y/n had started to notice Paul’s presence more with each passing moment. Eager to steal secret glances to look at him, but their eyes would meet each time, making her heart skip a beat. It was as if he was staring at her long before she could look at him.
It caught her off guard in some moments. Or how if she shifted her position and seat he’d find a way to sit directly across her. How he leaned in each time they spoke to one another so far. Just their few passing words was somehow enough for her to feel smitten.
The visit was cut short since Sam got a phone call. Apparently the majority of them work on as a type of security, for the community, Sam was one of the leadings officers. All eventually decided to leave and end the night.
“It’s not unusual for Sam and some of the guys to leave like this. It takes some getting used to” Emily explained as she sighed. Trying to hide her obvious disappointment at her fiancé leaving.
Y/n laid in bed that night tired and tipsy. Thinking back on what had happened. She was glad to have met everyone so far. But Paul stood out amongst the rest even against Renesmee. How intense she felt being near him, in some moments she felt her heart beating so loudly, thinking it’d run right out of her chest.
Paul made her feel things she never thought she could. Tossing and turning her mind was filled with Paul. Despite the erratic emotions she felt somehow at ease also. Each time she closed her eyes to sleep it was as if he was staring back at her.
A howl echoed in her mind as she was lulled to sleep. It was the first night she didn’t have a weird terrible dream. Instead only remembering comfort that came in waves and the howl that echoed.
Y/n finally felt refreshed and rested after what felt like forever. The weird dreams were really messing with her quality of sleep. Thankfully not much happened last night to disturb her. The only thing she couldn’t get her mind off was Paul. Somehow switching him for Renesmee in her mind.
It still freaked her out about the other day with Kim, how Renesmee was in the middle of the road, that she couldn’t explain. In all honesty it messed with her confidence driving. Honestly her confidence in general.
She seemed so alluring and captivating. Despite only spending a few moments with her. Coming off as somehow hauntingly sweet. It wasn’t so great thinking so much of her. Luckily she had the thought of Paul distracting her.
Getting ready for the day she continued with her chores. Continuing to clean and tend to the house. She gradually felt cooped up and uncomfortable, surrounded by chaotic mess, boxes and items left scattered everywhere. She texted Kim to see if she wanted to hang.
But after waiting a minute Kim didn’t respond. Unusual since she always answered quickly. Deciding to just suck it up she wanted to go to the book store. Have a day to herself of shopping and being spoiled.
A chance to get over her nerves and get out. She finished what was left of her chores. Putting on her coat she grabbed her keys out of the bowl by the door. Once last look in the mirror she headed out.
Leaving the house she turned to lock the door. Only to hear a ruffling noise coming from the trees. Whipping her head quickly to see a huge gray wolf, shocked she dropped her keys, but for a brief second she made eye contact.
It was true there were wolves around here! Would it leap and attack her she thought? But the serene energy she felt told her otherwise. Holding the eye contact before the beast turned running into the forest.
She stood for a moment in disbelief. And also just to make sure there weren’t anymore around. After realizing what just happened was real and not a dream she gathered herself. It was her first time seeing a real wolf. Picking up her keys and driving down the road.
The sight of the wolf made her wonder. In all seriousness y/n was spiritual especially with how she grew up. Wondering if this was the same wolf that plagued her dreams and thoughts. Her grandfather always said there was a power, a certain energy, to the wolf.
Overwhelmed y/n knew she needed to just focus on herself today. Everything since moving here was so weird and different so far. She just needed to do something normal and docile. Something that was familiar to her. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any wolves on her way back.
Driving she listened to music to calm her nerves. Getting into a better mindset she got herself a coffee through a local cafe, going through the drive thru, before heading to the stores.
Shopping around a few clothing boutiques she wandered around. Finding a new small store she explored. Not realizing it was an indigenous owned store. There was a wall filled with jewellery. Different types of beaded, dentillium, shell earrings and jewelry.
Coming across a stunning pair of wolf earrings that were beaded. It was more intricate and detailed than what she’d found. She was so taken by them the lady at the register even noticed.
“Those were all made by local artisans in the community. Every item bought a portion goes back to them”
“Really? Do you happen to know the name of who made these?” She asked as the lady who looked at the earrings. “Usually these have a tag with their names and contact info of the artist. But this is missing one” she showed the other earrings with tags.
“I’ll still get them if that’s alright” y/n insisted as the lady happily rang them up. The earrings were too pretty to pass up. Especially after that encounter with that gray wolf. These ones had a gray wolf with an orange sunset coloured background.
Reaching the bookstore she noticed it was also indigenous owned. Something she wasn’t used to where she lived with her parents. It made her excited since she needed more indigenous literature on her shelves.
The man at the counter greeted her as she entered. It was semi busy with people mingling around. Looking around she found a section dedicated to Quileute knowledge and history. Which immediately caught her interest as she went towards it.
Scanning through she found a book on Quileute myths and legends. It reminded her badly of her grandfather. Growing up when she’d be at their house he’d always tell stories. Passing them down from his grandfather to her and her cousins.
Most were stories of his time as a child. Before diving into myths and stories he knew about. She and Quil spent the most time with him out of the grandkids. He’d always take the time to explain what each story meant.
Skimming through she was entranced by the story she landed on. It reminded her of a certain story she had trouble remembering of his. Because he only told it maybe once in her lifetime. Reading the title of the chapter she began reading further.
“Myths and legends of the Quileute tribe
In times before the white man came to the country, the Quileute tribe have been a small but resilient people, with their own unique traditions and power. Recognized and respected by the surrounding communities as fierce warriors.
They are also recognized for their mysterious ‘gifts’ and so called ‘blessings’. Some say they have multiple types of strong magic and power. One being their connection to the wolves. Accounts from other surrounding tribes speak of their unnatural abilities and ties.
The Makah people specifically, have certain accounts, and stories of such abilities. For when encountering them in battle, the Quileute owned what was believed to be direwolves, which are now extinct to the modern world. They’d send them out to assist during battle. Many believed they raised and trained them among their own. But there’s no such evidence to support that.
The direwolves were said to be as big or even bigger than the average horse. A different breed of wolf that was uncommon in the Washington area. On the battlefield they would announce their arrival by howling. Sometimes striking so much fear into the enemy they’d flee.
The Quileute people say otherwise about the direwolves. Claiming that they themselves were the direwolves. Denying that they ever raised such beasts, hence no evidence, but there was no proof to support their original claim.
As a tribe they were used to human threats. Other men trying to conquer their tribe and land. All until the arrival of the ‘cold ones’, people that were made of hard stone, and an unnatural thirst for human blood.
Claiming that the reason they could shift into the powerful wolf, was to kill such horrific creatures, in order to best protect not only their people but humanity it self.”
It sounded like they were describing vampires y/n thought. She only had fuzzy faint memories of her grandfathers story. Surely she would’ve remembered if he mentioned talk of vampires.
The thought of them sent shivers down her spine. How could vampires even be real? The way her people described them made her feel scared. How would they even come across one, let alone many, and also be able to kill them?
Just how big did these wolves get to be? What was shifting exactly like? It was almost describing a werewolf. Intrigued by the idea y/n continued further.
“The cold ones were creatures born of the night. They are unnatural and forever ravenous. Wishing to only feed on human flesh, the Quileute describe them as cannibals, cursed to live forever for their sins of eating human flesh. They appeared as attractive and seductive. With cold solid skin that shimmered like the sun on the water.
Their ability to transform into wolves they say came from one man. Whose name was name was long forgotten. As was his bloodline, they say the last of his line, died honourably to save the tribe. He was named as the last shifter and last wolf of the tribe.
A cold one had strayed from his partner and the trail. Belonging to a group of French colonizers who were trapping. The man found the village first, coming across a band of women and children, bathing and washing by the river.
Legends say the last shifter had to sacrifice his self to save the tribe. Other say it was him and also his sons who died in battle. All the stories end the same way. Wth both of the cold ones being killed and burned to ash. Stating that the cold ones ate many women and children before the last wolf could stop him. Their bodies looked deflated, pale, and flat for they had no blood in their bodies”
An image was attached, a hand drawn depiction of the grimly scene, a woman being sucked at the neck with bodies surrounding. The cold one’s eyes looked dark and ominous. Her eyes were piercingly light as she dressed in fine furs.
“Found yourself a good book I see?” A familiar voice chimed behind y/n surprising her out of her trance. It was Renesmee who stood with a sweet smile. Giggling slightly at y/n’s scared reaction.
“Renesmee! I didn’t realize you were here” she replied as her nerves settled. “I seen you come in earlier but you looked interested in reading. I didn’t want to disturb you but I wanted to say hi. I wasn’t able to talk to you at the bonfire the other night”
“Yeah sorry about that we thought the cruise wouldn’t be so long. I was hoping to see you too”
“Jacob ended up wanting to leave. I think he was too tired to be honest. But anyways I heard from Jacob you recently moved back here. Is that true?” She asked with eyes full of wonder. Y/n couldn’t help but take notice of her ethereal beauty, how perfect her brown hair was, or how her skin glistened under the sunshine.
“I mean yeah but I’m not new to the area—”
“Great to hear. That means I can show you around. Y’know I’ve read this book before and it’s a great read” she said as y/n clasped the book close. “Y-Yeah it has been so far. I think I’m going to buy it actually. I want to read it more” she said her hands covering the front of the book.
“Wait… I’m not sure this is the same one I’ve read actually. Can I check the cover?” Renesmee asked as she reached to flip the book over. “Sure—“ y/n replied before her hands touched her, as they did the air from her lungs sucked out, and her field view changed before her.
She was stuck in the middle of the forest again. The same exact spot she had been stuck in the past. Another flash and the sky was no longer night but day. With a blinding sun that shined down on her.
The next was the moon flashing in her face. With the same intensity as the sun somehow. The sound of heavy footsteps on soft earth intensely struck the ground. Shocked and scared she couldn’t move not even a budge.
All she could see now, was a pair of eyes, glaring at her in the dark. Peering out through the darkness as it came forward. Gray eyes revealed to be the gray wolf once more. As he stepped out of the shadows to reveal itself.
Renesmee’s grip loosened as y/n stumbled backwards. Air rushing back into her lungs. Dropping the book to the floor suddenly. A cold sweat was running down her back as she looked up at her. Renesmee’s eyes fixed onto her neck, before looking back up at y/n, as she smiled Innocently.
“What’s wrong? I don’t want the book *that* bad. I said I read it already *remember*?” she said with such a nonchalant tone. Y/n felt her stomach instantly turn into a big huge knot. Something was *off* and she *needed* to leave.
Picking up the book Renesmee helped her with it. “Here. You have to be careful“ she said in a sweeter and much softer tone. But not enough for y/n to feel even slightly normal. Rushing to get up she felt her gut turning worser by the second. Her hand somehow brushed against hers once more.
Flashes of red filled her vision, similar to a strobe light, it made her stumble down again. “Are you sure you’re fine? You keep stumbling all over the store here” she said clutching y/n’s arm. Upon her touch she writhed away from Renesmee’s grip.
Turning around immediately she slapped a large money bill on the counter. “Thank you?” The man behind the register said as she practically ran out. Renesmee stood quiet as she watched her take off.
In a panic she ran down to her car. Only to be met with something in front of her stiff as concrete. “Woah there. You okay?” A voice said making her look up, it was Jacob his self, he held her shoulders as he helped her steady.
“Y/n?”
“Jacob?”
She asked bewildered by the encounter. “Yeah I’m okay you just surprised me” y/n replied as he smiled. “Me too. You came out pretty quickly. Like a bat out of hell. You okay?—“ he tried asking again but it only triggered her flashbacks to the vision. She could see sharp teeth snapping down, the sound of growling and snarling, as the wolves ran beside each other.
Y/n’s face drained of its colour turning her pale. Jacob noticed as he furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” He asked with a genuine concern. His face somehow reminded her of the weird visions she was plagued with.
Renesmee stepped out of the book store. Jacob turned and greeted her like normal. But y/n fled down the path way with no shame or warning. More focused on her and her own sanity.
Y/n hopped into her car and sped home. Hoping and praying she wouldn’t come across Renesmee on the road. She so much as didn’t even want to think or utter her name. For fear of somehow summoning her.
Her grip was tight on y/n’s hand but she felt warm. At least she was warm instead of having an unnatural coldness. It actually surprised y/n she was warm, but it didn’t rid her of her suspicions, there was something about Renesmee that was different.
If she was a cold one, like she suspected, what could she even do? They were cannibals, literal blood sucking monsters, how could one defend themselves? They had to be just some stories elders told to keep kids inside.
Ridding the thought of her she hustled back home. It was raining outside, not as much as usual, it was more of a spit than anything. The smell was calming her down somewhat. Not as much as she wanted or hoped really.
There was no way she could think otherwise if she wanted to feel safe. That girl Renesmee just had to be a sweet normal human. And something else was plaguing the mind of y/n. For her to even experience something as this so often.
How far would these delusions go? It wasn’t as if she was this fascinated by such fantasy’s. Vampires never interested her much. Werewolves also she never paid attention to any fiction such as that. It was a big question on why y/n kept having such delusions.
Flashes of what she experienced kept coming to her. How Renesmee’s eyes although sweet were filled with a never ending darkness. Last she seen her eyes they were so dark. But this time they were a lighter color, a brown almost auburn, how could she never notice?
Her hands were practically shaking as she gripped the steering wheel. Driving fast she kept her eyes on the road. As the rain continued to pour down onto the ground. She could see something following her in the corner of her eye. But she dared not to look away from the road.
Although y/n wanted desperately to go back home, to her safe space, in her gut she knew it was a bad idea. Since Kim didn’t want to answer she knew who she could rely upon. Her grandmother Molly, she was a great comfort to her, anytime she was in need she answered. Even now she answered her obscure call.
“Gramma? Are you home?” She called out with clear desperation in her voice. “Yes. Whats wrong?” Was all she said to make y/n melt into a child again. “Nothing… I’m just missing you and wondering if I would be able to sleep over?” Although y/n was trying to be discreet Grandma Molly could sense her true intentions.
“I’ll be home my girl. Drive safe it’s raining out” Grandma Molly knew she’d arrive sooner than later. Y/n needed to grab clothes but she dreaded going back home. Pulling up to her driveway she sat in the car for a moment.
“Shit” y/n said out loud as she groaned. The anxious feeling churning deep in her. It’ll have to be quick but simple in and out. Stepping out she rushed to the door, still worried about the wolf from earlier, almost dropping her keys out of fear.
Getting inside the house it was quiet and undisturbed. Taking a second to pause and wait. A wave of peace fell over her in the moment. Debating if she wanted to stay and just visit her grandmother. Come home sometime later this evening. It’d be great if she could truly relax.
All until she could hear creaking floorboards in the upstairs hallway. The sound of weight shifting around the floors. A sinking feeling made her stop in her tracks.
‘What the fuck?’ She thought frozen in place again, a familiar eerie feeling washed right over her, she knew it wasn’t right to come here. A moment passed as she awaited for something she didn’t know.
Pulling her courage from somewhere in her. She grabbed the baseball bat she left hidden by the door. Y/n marched right up the stairs into her room ready to face whatever it may be. She wasn’t dumb enough to not have a weapon nearby. Especially as a young woman living alone.
Her bedroom window was open slightly with watery tracks everywhere. Nothing was taken or trashed but someone was inside. Only her bedroom was on the second floor. Who knew how to climb and then open her window?
After checking the house top to bottom with no intruder in sight. Y/n packed up a bag to go and see her grandmother. Locking every single window and door in sight before leaving.
Arriving at the house she felt relieved. This was the familiarity she has been searching for. Since y/n moved in the house her grandmother moved in with her sister Melissa. Everyone in the family called her “grandma Milly”. Who was Kim’s direct grandmother, since they were getting older, they decided it best to look after one another.
“My girl” Molly cooed as she hugged y/n tightly. Sinking into her arms she felt the comfort she needed. “What’s wrong?” She immediately asked y/n once they both let go. Shaking her head profusely “Nothings wrong. I just miss you is all” y/n answered.
Grandma Molly looked at her searching for dishonesty. Y/n didn’t feel it’d be appropriate to tell everything so far. She would eventually but for now she just wanted peace. As if she knew grandma Molly didn’t push any further. Instead bringing y/n inside for dinner.
“How are you settling into the house? Are you feeding yourself? You look pale” she fussed over y/n at the table. “I’ve been feeding myself yes—“ she tried to say before grandma Milly cut her off. “Are you sure? You look thinner than last I seen you”
“I’ve been adjusting to living alone. I don’t think I’ve withered away that much” y/n joked but the two didn’t let up. “Hm” was all Milly said as they finished dinner. Eventually she cleared everyone’s dishes. The two could sense something was up with y/n very quickly.
Settling in the living room they spent the evening watching TV together. Checking her phone she wondered about Kim. It was unusual for her to not answer. Chalking it up to her being busy, she wished she would answer, she needed her support.
“I’m going to go rest. My meds are kicking in” Milly said as she left the room. Bidding goodnight to the two girls. Y/n continued to watch tv as her grandma looked over at her with worry.
“My girl are you sure you’re okay? I don’t mind a surprise visit like this. It’s just… You seemed panicked earlier when you called” Grandma Molly pushed her. Seeing it was just the two of them alone y/n sighed in defeat.
“I mean I am fine. It’s just ever since I got here I just… I don’t know” y/n struggled to find the words. “I love the house. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve given me so far. So I don’t want come off as rude”
“I knew it! The house is too much work for you isn’t it? I was worried this would happen but I figured you wanted your own space. Quil was so adamant you get the house when we talked about it—“
“No no that’s not the issue here. The housework I can handle” y/n explained making her grandma sigh in relief. “It’s just ever since I moved in… a lot of stuff has been bothering me—“
“Oh I know you loved your grandfather. It’s a hard loss for everyone and a big adjustment—“
“I mean like actually bothering me” y/n almost spat out making Molly sit up. “What do you mean? I thought I told you to smudge the house after I left. You know it’s important especially since we cleared everything from there. You don’t want something else moving in” Milly explained as y/n sighed deeply. Figuring out the best way to explain.
“I did smudge with sweet grass even. What I’m trying to get at is my dreams have been crazy lately. And I can’t help but feel like they’re trying to tell me something. Show me something anyways…” y/n trailed off unsure on what her grandmother would say.
Molly sat quiet for a moment as she looked at y/n. “What did you see?” She asked as y/n looked up into her eyes. “The first couple of times I’m lost in the woods. I’m being chased or else I’m running to find something. I’m not sure really“
“Oh I’m sure your dreams are just reflecting how you feel here. I’m sure you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by everything” Molly tried to understand. But all y/n did was shake her head.
“I seen grandpa in one of them” y/n said making the expression on Mollys face drop completely. “What happened” she asked with quite a serious tone. “It was… strange to say the least” y/n shivered thinking back on it. Molly awaited for y/n to continue.
“Each time in my dream I’m in the same spot in the forest. Confused and lost. All of a sudden, in this one dream, someone had asked me if I was lost. I looked up and it was grandpa. He laughed, went behind a tree, he came out as his younger self” hearing this made grandma Molly gasp. And tear up at the thought as she covered her mouth.
“Aw well that tells me he’s doing well. Don’t you think so?” She asked y/n who sat quietly. A solemn look on her face told Molly otherwise. Raising her eyebrows at her granddaughter y/n gave in.
“When he left he… he was… I swear he turned into a wolf and ran into the tree line” y/n finally confessed. Y/n expected her gramdma to chalk it up to some crazy dream. That stress had been affecting her and her sleep so of course she’d dream crazy.
Instead grandma Molly sat quiet with a hand on her mouth. Staring off into the distance in deep thought. “Gramma?” She peered curious thinking it’d snap her back to the conversation.
“Have you seen Kim lately? Did she or anyone else come talk to you yet?” She asked making y/n confused. “No she didn’t answer me. What do you mean talk to me yet?” Molly sat up and held y/n’s hand in comfort.
“You must be tired. What with all your stress. For me the dream is just grandfather coming to visit you. You know how he’s always been attached to wolves and their spirit. Rest easy and have some peace of mind” Was all Molly said as she basically dismissed the conversation. Feeling like there was a blockage y/n settled with just going to bed.
There was no dream or nightmare that night as well. Maybe it really was just stress y/n thought. Eating breakfast with her two grandmothers they discussed their day ahead.
“Me and Milly here have to attend a meeting today. You’re welcome to stay here if you want while we’re gone. Fridge is stocked and the TV will be free”
Y/n knew her grandma Molly was a councillor. But grandma Milly wasn’t, she questioned what meeting they would have together, but instead of being too nosey she let it slide. She wasn’t quite sure what grandma Milly did to be honest. Besides bingo and chain smoke everywhere she went.
“Yep you’re lucky my show isn’t on today” grandma Milly teased her making the two chuckle. “No that’s okay grandma I think I ought to head home. There’s some things I left unfinished” y/n picked her fork around her breakfast. She wondered about Kim for some reason.
It was quite unusual for her not to answer y/n, especially since it’s been a whole day later, surely she wasn’t upset at her? Or even worse she was in some danger? It seemed ridiculous but y/n knew Kim was never not on her phone. The ignorance from Kim seemed deliberate.
“Well you’re always welcome to stay again anytime. Me and this girl aren’t usually this busy most days”
“I’m glad I came, I really needed this visit, thank you guys” y/n smiled at the two. Finishing up their breakfast the three departed on their separate ways. Y/n wasn’t lying about having a great visit. It’s just she left with more questions than answers.
Would nothing explain these crazy delusions she’d been having? Perhaps she needed to just focus on self care, cut out her stress somehow, to make it all stop. But it all didn’t explain the possible intruder in her home.
It wasn’t like she just dreamt up the wet muddy tracks in her room. But really what could she do about it? She lived alone and it wasn’t like her grandmother could do anything. She’d tell Quil but what would he even say or do? Most likely just call her crazy and be bothered she made him check the house.
Getting back to the house she sat in the car for a moment. Her beloved childhood home was starting to feel different. She knew the energy would change once it was just her in the house. She didn’t want to think it, but sadly, it was starting to feel unsafe.
With a deep sigh she stepped into the house. Pausing for a moment to hear anything. Doing a quick perimeter check there was no one around. In moments such as this she wish she had someone to rely on.
That evening she did what she could to cheer herself up. Deciding to clean up her room and area. Before doing a complete pampering routine, a hot bubble bath, fit with a sheet mask to keep her skin soft. Doing what she could to also make herself feel comfortable being here alone.
Watching reruns of her favourite tv shows, she kept all the TVs in the house on, as a way to fill the eerie silence. Cooking her favourite foods she settled in somewhat. Praying that her windows would stay shut tonight.
As she slept she had a very lucid dream that freaked her out. It started out with her in laying bed like usual. Opening her eyes a few times to her room like normal. Until in the corner stood a dark shadow, a woman with long hair stood, just out of sight. But y/n knew she was there watching.
As her vision faded in and out the woman eventually stepped out. The light from the window shined down on her. Only to reveal the one and only Renesmee, her eyes dark with a straight expression, her mouth slowly started to open wide.
Revealing small but sharp fangs it made y/n startle out of her sleep. As she sat up Renesmee wasn’t in the room as she thought. Her window wasn’t open and there weren’t any tracks on the floor. But her heart was racing more than ever.
It was five am and y/n couldn’t go back to sleep for the life of her. She was way too freaked out to even think of lying down. Instead she hyped her self up with many cups of coffee. She did message Quil to try and hang but no answer from that guy either.
She was already not trying to overthink about the bonfire. But now she was starting to wonder did she mess up somehow? Or maybe their friends didn’t really care about her? She wasn’t sure but it was unusual for those two to ignore her.
Everything so far was making her feel so isolated. Was it truly a good idea to come back to the rez? This was what she was trying to escape, being alone in isolation, but it seems it what’s she’s walked into. Maybe even a worser case now with the delusions.
All day she spent it on the couch, the heavy rain seemed to match her mood, as she anxiously awaited nightfall. What would await for her when she fell asleep? She didn’t even want to fathom it. Listening to the rain pour down onto the house it calmed her slightly.
Watching the tv she began to slowly drift off to sleep. Feeling somehow safer on the couch with the dim light of the grey clouds. Eyes and body heavy as her eyes fluttered shut. It’d be best to get sleep while she could. Hoping not to see Renesmee once more.
Suddenly someone was knocking and pounding on her door. In a very erratic and panicked manner it shocked her. Sitting up she checked her phone but there were no messages. No one called her either it confused her who would be there.
“Please! Open up it’s me!” The girl begged as y/n recognized the voice. Rushing to open the door to reveal a rain soaked Kim. Standing there with tears streaming as she sobbed hard. “Kim?” y/n asked worried and concerned. “I need you” Kim sobbed out as she grabbed y/n’s shoulders.
Chapter 3 is finished 🤍 Finally settled into my home after moving in a short while ago. Got caught up with writing more. I wanted to write more insight into an outsiders perspective. How shifters and vampires would look like to ordinary people. Especially the tribe’s over all insight. The next few chapters will be interesting🤍
#twilight#twilight renaissance#twilight saga#twilight pack#twilight wolves#twilight wolf pack#quileute#twilight fanfiction#paul lahote#paul lahote x y/n#paul lahote x you#paul lahote fanfic#Kim Conweller#sam uley#emily young#jaredcameron#embry call#quil ateara#leahclearwater#seth clearwater#jacob black#renesmee cullen#twilight imagine#twilight new age
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This is very true, and I completely agree. I think we also need more context of how Michael was raised and his understanding of “normal”.
He grew up in a 672 sq ft house. He shared a bedroom with all of his siblings. And when he and his brothers toured as kids, they shared a living space with numerous adults and even piled into the same bed as adults. This was completely normal to him. Consulting adults and befriending them as a child star was probably a daily occurrence for him.
He was, in a lot of ways, playing that same role that previous adults had fulfilled for him to other kids who were child stars. It’s not really hard to understand when adding context, imo. Michael didn’t have a normal life or a normal upbringing. We’re talking about a guy who was famous at 5 and who never came down from that fame—and in the short time he had before that stardom exploded into fame the world had never seen, he was constantly surrounded by adults and viewed many of them as close friends and mentors which he then became to other kids later on, like Macaulay for example. Macaulay Culkin has said many times that Michael was genuinely his best friend for years and that they related to each other over being child stars, and that Michael was a safe person to go to amongst all of the abuse he went through.
Also, Michael was genuinely friends with many of his fans, that’s true like OP mentioned. He even knew many of their names and where he had met them, how long he had known them, etc.
Michael was so open to people and so accessible, that he would walk around the street and invite total strangers to Neverland. Keep in mind, this is literally his house. He would also have busloads of children brought to Neverland as part of Make A Wish and other such organizations. He personally helped care for said dying children, as opposed to letting some employee do it.
Michael was just like that. He was raised to be extremely generous, and was raised to share everything with others.
However, I should note that Michael didn’t just let random kids sleep in his “bedroom” without parental knowledge. The parents of these children literally knew and were asked to give permission. And Michael himself never invited this. He only allowed it when a child would ask and said parent stated it was ok.
Speaking of said parents: they were practically always there with their children. In fact, said parents often times slept IN the room. Some even slept in the same bed with Michael and the kids. They even testified to it. And when asked, these people all said “nothing happened”. They were having sleepovers in the most literal sense of the word.
People can’t fathom that in relation to someone of MJ’s status because they don’t know who he was or how he was raised. They only know of the superstar. They can’t fathom that a celebrity of his status enjoyed having simple fun like sleepovers and piling onto a bed to have a movie night to try and feel normal. That doesn’t make sense to them bc they don’t understand MJ. He was just a regular person underneath that celeb status. He liked playing games and having water balloon fights. This was his idea of a good time. Unconventional? That depends on who you ask. But it doesn’t make him a criminal.
I feel like people miss a significant piece of who MJ was, and how he lived, when they weaponize the infamous *bed sharing* against him. People who have a casual knowledge of Michael Jackson don't know how ridiculously accessible he made himself to fans and people in general.
Michael Jackson was the kind of star who not only would call back fans who wrote to him, and have lengthy phone talks with them, he would literally invite these same strangers to Neverland, to visit and sleep, even when he wasn't there. There is this tension to Michael Jackson way of living where he made himself super elusive and mysterious to journalists and paparazzi, but very easy to reach to the "common people" and, to my understanding, that was the mix that bred mediatic disaster.
What people fail to mention is that, MJ didn't just have phone calls, sleepovers, trips with children. He did these things with people from all walks of life: old people, adult people, poor people, rich people, everyone. Basically, his door was open to pretty much everyone and surely that was a totally reckless life choice for someone (let alone someone with high risks at stakes like him) to have, and probably irresponsible, but imo that's also what made MJ so special to the eyes of people who today still remember him with fondness and are extra defensive of him:
They remember the megastar who was "man of the people" enough to actually reach back to fans and spend quality time with them, play with them, eat with them, yeah even sleep with them. That's why to me, every parallel or discourse about comparing modern stars to MJ, or who surpassed him, always fails. Because these discourses miss a fundamental ingredient to the magic formula of Michael Jackson: he was the man of the people. Modern stars of today aren't humble enough for that. People like Michael Jackson, and of course someone like Princess Diana, were. And of course, I don't blame celebrities or artists for being inaccessible to day to day people, because you have to be smart and keep yourself safe, Michael Jackson probably wasn't and his reputation ultimately paid for that, but it also made him human in a way that a Beyoncé, a Taylor Swift or a Weeknd can't relate.
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Birthday Party | Jimmy Uso
Images/GIFs aren’t mine, credits to rightful owners.
Pairings: Jimmy Uso x black! OC
Warnings: none just fluff, drinking
Summary: Jimmy and his wife Alexis are going to Jey’s house to celebrate the twins’ birthday, and the night is more fun than they could’ve imagined.
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: Not me writing for one of the twins?? I changed it up fr. Writing Jimmy is so funny to me because I can literally hear his voice in my head saying the words
“Baby, can you please hurry up? We gon’ be late!” Alexis heard Jimmy’s voice from the other side of the wall.
They were getting ready to head to Jey’s house for the twins’ birthday party and Alexis wanted to make sure her makeup came out perfect. They had all ate brunch together earlier with Jey and his wife, and Roman and his wife. But this time, all of their friends and family were going to be there.
“Babe, I just need like 5 more minutes!” Alexis called back out as she was halfway done with placing her lash clusters on her second eye.
He better be glad she was already dressed. She wanted to be more casual but still steppin’ out, so she picked out a white tank top with baggy jeans, a black NY cap, and some black pointed toe heels.
“Yea, you said that 5 minutes ag-” Jimmy stopped in his tracks as he walked in their master bathroom.
Alexis paused and looked over at him, smiling.
“Damn girl! You look good.” He said dramatically rubbing his hands together, walking closer to Alexis.
He wrapped his strong arms adorned with Samoan tribal tattoos around her waist and nuzzled into her neck.
Alexis’ smile deepened and she tried to pull away from him so she could finish her makeup faster. “Babe stop! I’m forreal almost done.”
But Jimmy wouldn’t let her go. “You smell good too. Aye, what you think about if we just stay home?” His hand was travelling down south to softly grab her ass.
Alexis slightly turns her head toward him, putting on blush. “I know you lyin’. I did not spend 2 hours on all of this just for you to mess it up, boo.” She motioned to her outfit, hair, and makeup.
Jimmy playfully smacked his teeth and pulled away. “Aight. But you know the party start at 10:00 and it’s 10:30?” He tells her as he sees Jey calling him, again.
“Man, that’s Alexis making us late.” He greets his twin brother as he leaves the bathroom. Alexis just rolls her eyes and laughs.
After another actual 5 minutes, she’s finally done with her look. She leaves her scattered makeup on the bathroom counter, noting that she’ll clean it tomorrow.
She grabbed her phone off of the bed and walked into the living room, seeing Jey standing by the door.
“Wow, thank you God! She’s done!” Jimmy says when she enters the room.
“Boy hush. And you’re supposed to be late to a party, anyway.” Alexis responds, grabbing her black purse and they both walk out of the front door to the car.
Jimmy opens the passenger car door for Alexis before walking around to the driver’s side so they can be on their way.
Jey’s house was about 10 minutes away, so Jimmy was trying to find a good hype song to play for the short drive. He couldn’t find one he liked that fit the birthday mood, so Alexis took his phone with a song idea in mind.
“Hold on babe, I got you.” She tells him. She knows he likes Lil Wayne, and she quickly finds Right Above It with Lil Wayne and Drake.
Jimmy hears the horns at the beginning and immediately recognizes the song. “Oh damn babe, okay! What you know about this?” He glances at her, smiling.
Alexis giggles and just turns the music damn near to 100 volume.
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only Heaven’s right above it
We on
It’s Young Money motherfucker
If you ain’t runnin’ with it, run from it motherfucker, alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch
And I got my B’s with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig
I got my gun in my boot purse
And I don’t bust back because I shoot first
Jimmy and Alexis rap all the lyrics, as they pull up to Jey’s house. Alexis reaches to turn down the volume a bit so they can hear each other talk.
“Damn, everybody and they momma here!” Jimmy says, seeing all the cars in the driveway, and on the side of the street. He just decides to park behind Roman’s car on the side of the street.
He puts the car in park and turns the ignition off, then walks to Alexis and opens the car door for her.
“Thank you honey bun,” She sweetly says to him before puckering her lips for a kiss.
“I got you girl.” Jimmy says after kissing her. They hold hands as they walk up to the front door and open it.
As soon as they open it, their ears are met with rap music and eyes are met with strobe lights.
“Jimmy!” Everyone around them yells out, people dapping him up and patting his back, wishing him a happy birthday.
Alexis smiles and keeps her eye out for anyone that she knows. She sees one of the Bella twins, but couldn’t tell if it was Brie or Nikki.
She walks over to her and seeing her up close, it was Nikki. “Alexis! Hey gorgeous!” Nikki says, giving her a hug.
“Hey sexy.” Alexis cheekily says back to her.
“You want a drink? I’m trying to get in Brie mode.” Nikki asks, holding her red solo cup that’s filled with God knows what.
“Ugh yes please.” Alexis sighs and Nikki grabs her hand and leads them both to the kitchen where the liquor/seltzers, soda, and juice was.
Nikki was a pro at making anything containing liquor; margaritas, daquiris, you name it.
Alexis just watched her, looking up ever so often, when she saw Jimmy, Jey, and Roman with glow in the dark glasses, necklaces, and rings.
“Oh my gosh…” She says lowly.
“It’s just us uce! We the ones!” Jimmy shouts out, while Jey and Roman hype him up.
“Yea girl, you’re gonna need this.” Nikki hands Alexis her newly made drink. Alexis downs half of it.
“Aye there go my wife!” Jimmy, somehow already tipsy, says pointing at Alexis.
All three men walk over to Alexis and Nikki. Jey is the first to hug her, then Roman.
“How ya’ll doin? Ya’ll doin good? Aye, the DJ is taking requests by the way!” Jey shouts over the music, his words slurring a little. The most sober out of the three seemed to be Roman. Nikki and Alexis looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.
Roman just shakes his head in defeat. “Jey’s been pregaming all day.”
Jimmy was about to drink on his mixed concoction, but Alexis took the cup from him. “Babe don’t drink so fast or you’ll have a hangover.” She pours it down the sink.
Jimmy smacks his teeth. “Alexis, it’s my birthday baby.”
“You’ll thank me later. Let’s go dance!” She grabs his hand and they all go to where there’s a hole in the crowd.
What’s Your Fantasy by Ludacris was playing and Alexis started dancing on Jimmy.
As she danced, she looked around, noting all the people she had either met or were friends with.
They were mostly friends of Jimmy, Jey, and Roman who were also in WWE.
The DJ got on the mic, interrupting the music. “Aye everybody! Let’s wish the twins, Jey and Jimmy a happy birthday one mo’ time!”
Everybody in the house says, “Happy Birthday!” The twins go to the DJ and he hands them the mic.
“Yo, thank you to everybody that’s here. We love you guys!” Jimmy says to everyone.
“Yea! And ya’ll need to drink! It’s in the kitchen don’t be shy.” Jey says into the mic.
They hand the mic back to the DJ and go back to Alexis, who was talking to Galina and Takecia.
“Takecia yours is the worst.” Galina teases her while they all look at Jey who is getting closer and closer to being fucked up. She just shakes her head.
“Ya’ll want him?” She replies and they all laugh.
Jimmy grabs Alexis and pulls her in so his hands are dangerously low on her waist and her arms wrap around the back of his neck.
They sway to the music and just enjoy each other’s presence.
“I love you babe.” Alexis says so only he can hear it.
“I love you more.” Jimmy sweetly says and kisses her on the forehead.
They partied for about 2 more hours and Jimmy surprisingly listened to Alexis when she told him don’t drink too fast.
Jey was outta there.
Roman had sobered up.
Jimmy was only slightly drunk.
Roman had to help Takecia get Jey up the stairs and to the bed.
“Man that boy gone!” Jimmy says to Alexis and Galina, as more people left, saying goodbye as they did so.
“At least you didn’t get the crazy one.” Galina laughs. “Girl, they both crazy.” This makes Galina laugh harder.
Roman comes back down the stairs, and over to them. “Is he okay?” Alexis asks.
Roman nods. “Yea, Takecia got him for sure. Ya’ll leaving too?”
Alexis nods while Jimmy shakes his head no. She sees it out of the corner of her eye. “Um, boo. I’m driving and we need to shower.”
Jimmy’s shoulders slump, but then he perks up. “And then what we gon’ do?” He says suggestively. He was always a flirty drunk. But only with her.
Alexis rolls her eyes for what feels like the billionth time. “Sleep. Now come on birthday boy.” She grabs his hand and all four of them walk outside to their cars.
“Where did ya’ll park at?” Roman asks.
“Behind you actually.” Alexis responds, walking to Jimmy’s grey Audi.
“Oh okay. It was good seeing you Alexis. Later uce and happy birthday again.” Roman hugs Alexis and then Jimmy.
“Bye Alexis! Text me so we can go out to eat later, okay?” Galina hugs Alexis.
“Okay I will!”
Roman and Galina get in their car and drive off.
Thank God that Jimmy was not too drunk and that he could walk right and everything. She gets in the driver seat and adjusts it and the mirrors.
She felt Jimmy’s hand on her thigh. “I really love you baby. Thank you for everything.” He gently says.
Alexis softly smiles and they both lean over the armrest to meet each other’s lips in a long kiss.
Jimmy pulls away. “Hey, we could get it in right here, these windows tinted.” He playfully bites his bottom lip.
Alexis pauses for a moment. “If you eat when we get home and sober up a little more, I’ll give you your other birthday present.” She winks at him before starting the car up.
“Oh hell yeah!” He claps and Alexis laughs as they drive home.
#jimmy uso imagine#jimmy uso fanfiction#jimmy uso x black oc#wwe fanfiction#wwe imagine#the bloodline#the usos#jey uso#roman reigns#the tribal chief#the og bloodline#wwe fluff
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there is nothing "natural" about the fires in LA right now. from 200 acres to 2000 in twenty minutes, on land that has never burnt before, in january.
no matter how much the media says it is, this is not a "natural disaster". this is a direct result of western politician's complicity in genocide and climate terrorism.
i have seen more videos in the last half an hour of this "natural disaster" than i have at all of the scenes in gaza over the christmas period. where medical workers were stripped and led out of the last 'functioning' hospital - a hospital that was subsequently bombed and set on fire. of the car with 5 journalists inside that was set on fire, 5 of countless people that have been burnt alive by israel. time and time again we have seen palestinians be led to a new "safe zone" only to then have bombs dropped on their tents and for them too to be burnt alive. over and over and over again.
and that's not to play the oppression olympics or to downplay the effect that this is having on individual lives, of course not, but it is to point of the irony and hypocrisy in this being framed as "natural" and in everybody (politicians, celebrities, online LA influencers) coming forward to share links.
this is not a "natural" disaster:
in the first 120 days after october 7th, the planet-warming emissions in gaza exceeded that of the ANNUAL emissions of the top 26 climate-vulnerable countries (individually).
the first 60 days of israel's genocidal actions was equivalent to burning at least 150,000 tonnes of coal.
by december 4th 2023, 133,000 tonnes of C02 was emitted just from the us cargo planes transporting military equipment to israel.
on october 11th, white phosphorus was used for the first time in gaza - this has a long-term environmental impact on the environment, human health, and agricultural land.
every 7 minutes, 1 ton of explosives is dropped on gaza.
by march 2024, nearly half of the tree cover and farmland in gaza had been destroyed.
in june 2024, gaza was declared an environmental wasteland that was insufficient to support human life.
it is estimated that the rebuilding of gaza's infrastructure will emit 30 million metric tonnes of greenhouse gases - every 4 minutes, 1 housing unit is bombed by israel.
in the middle east, temperatures are rising on average twice as fast as the rest of the world.
in the first two years of russia's war against ukraine, the emissions produced were greater than the annual emissions generated individually by 175 countries.
by june 2024, russia's attacks had generated a minimum of 175 metic tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalent (includes C02, nitrous oxide and sulphur hexafluoride) - see here: russia deliberately targetting energy infrastructure, generating about 14 metric tonnes as a result of the methane released.
and this is just a handful of never-ending statistics.
at COP28 there were no outcome documents that mentioned the contribution of military activities on climate change. not one. COP29 did not discuss this either.
the reporting of military emissions to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change is optional. most do not do this.
biden has approved another $8b in arms sales to israel.
the LAFD had $17.6m cut from their budget.
there's a saying that goes along the lines of "when you are born into a burning house, you think the rest of the world is on fire so you don't bother calling for help" and i've been thinking about that a lot today. thinking a lot about palestine, the middle east, ukraine, every genocide and war torn country that has been screaming to be saved from their burning homes, and now the same american politicians, celebrities, and online influencers that covered their ears are starting to get flamed too.
there is nothing natural about anything that is going on in the world right now. these are not natural wildfires, this is the result of complicity in genocide. it's literally climate terrorism.
#obviously my heart goes out to everybody affected and i hope theyre as safe as they can be#but i cannot handle seeing this be framed as a natural disaster one more time without going insane#NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NATURAL !!!!!#NOT ONE LITTLE BIT#watching people on tiktok with millions of followers put up a fucking paypal link#because they were actually always able to use their platform ! just when it directly affects them#'i cant believe we're watching whole lives get des-' WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN !?#oh wait the victims are rich and white this time IM PULLING OUT MY HAIR#okay im done#robyn is ranting sorry
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MARS SQUARE NEPTUNE SYNASTRY | ASTRO SYNASTRY SERIES . . .
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MARS SQUARE NEPTUNE
This synastry aspect is going to require a lot of explaining because the Mars person just does not get it and by it, I am referring to the Neptune person. We have to take into account astrological laws. Each planet has a ruling God / Goddess and as we know, some Divine beings have more power than others. Ares, the God of war, is not only mortal but also governs the planet Mars. Poisedon, the God of water, is not only immortal but also governs the planet Neptune. Here we have the Mars person representing masculine energy and the Neptune person representing feminine energy. The Mars person considering the square, has qualms with the Neptune person and experiences constant stress and frustration because they are unable to get what they want from the Neptune person. The Neptune person just always seems out of reach to the Mars person and this becomes exhausting.
Imagine that you are traveling to a foreign island and that’s all you can think of. Arriving to this island is all you want therefore, you are up for the challenges of traveling but during your journey, everything seems to go awry. You lost your passport, the pilot or driver gets lost, technology fails, the boat hits a rock of ice and now the boat is sinking or maybe you missed your flight etc. We can imagine how frustrating any of those situations would be especially when you didn’t plan for it and the Mars person always has plans. My question to you is whether any of those situations would deter you? Would you give up and just go back home or is your desire to arrive on that island stronger than all the setbacks? How far back are you willing to bet set until your desired outcome is just no longer worth it? That depends on the signs and houses Mars and Neptune reside in. In continuation to my example, the Mars person needs (or thinks it needs) the Neptune person, in which is equivalent to someone feeling like they need to arrive to that island, no matter what. However, that matter may overpower the mind especially for the Mars person.
Mars is a mortal God whereas, Neptune is an immortal God. In other words, mars is an human trying to challenge a God, a higher power. We see this all the time where humans think they can overpower and or outsmart a higher power until things backfire, like losing your passport and only realizing it at the airport for example. Your plans just got derailed and lost in translation- how in control are you now?
In brief, this describes the dynamic with Mars squaring Neptune.
The Mars person is attracted to the Neptune person because they see the Neptune person how they want. The Neptune person is quite literally the Mars person’s fantasy. When we fantasize, we don’t necessarily think of obstacles and challenges. It is only when we try to make the fantasy real is when we are met with challenges and obstacles that we didn’t plan for in the fantasy stages. Fantasies are dreams that are usually pleasant but nightmares are dreams as well. Eventually over time, the Neptune person becomes the Mars person worst nightmare. I do not know about you but whenever I tried to force my will on God or a higher power- if you will, my life took a turn for the worst and the same can be said for the Mars person.
The Mars person is only motivated by selfish desires and will resort to playing games aka. manipulation, force and strategy to get what it wants and in this case, the Neptune person. However, the Neptune person doesn’t respond well or too kindly to the efforts of the Mars person. The more the Mars person pushes the more their efforts gets lost in translation in which creates the square. The Neptune person is intuitive and more than likely knows what the Mars person is after so, unconsciously or not, the Neptune person will give the Mars person a run for their money. How bad do you want me? Says the Neptune person. Since the Mars person likes challenges, they’ll have to prove it. Just when the Mars person thinks they have the Neptune person interested or attached, poof! The Neptune person disappears and or all the efforts from the Mars person gets lost forcing the Mars person to start all over. Imagine going through the motions of trying to gain someone’s trust and then something happens big or small and now whatever trust gained is now lost. Or, imagine asking someone on a date and secretly hoping for sex afterwards. On the date you are on your best behavior and looking good however, your date asks you a dealbreaker question. You answer the question wrong or not to their liking and now your chances of sex afterwards are ruined. How frustrating! You put in all that effort to get some and now you are forced to start over!? Your fantasy about how good the sex would be; worth having to start back at base one?
Imagine being the Mars person and actually accomplishing having sex with the Neptune person. You think the sex has secured an attachment between the two of you and then the next day you cannot reach the Neptune person. They seem to have disappeared and or suddenly there’s an aloofness in their demeanor towards you.
What the hell happened?
The Mars person asks.
Well now I’m asking is it worth the effort of trying to get the Neptune person to open back up to you? Considering this synastry a “hit or miss” is debatable. With the exclusion of transits, this compatibility is a miss. If the right astrological transits hits- then it hits resulting with the Mars person finally getting whatever they dreamt about with the Neptune person. Think of the Neptune person as the Genie in the Bottle- if you will.
Approaching this with a different perspective, the Neptune person may intentionally cause confusion or delight in making things difficult for the Mars person. Unconsciously, the Neptune person may make themselves sick or experience bouts of illness rendering them dependent on the Mars person, who, feels responsible to take on the role of the provider, protector or healer/ caretaker. The square in such case would be the burden of having a family member and loved ones depending on him/her. Whichever way we spin this, the bases of it all results in the Mars person feeling burdened or worse- defeated.
This synastry aspect is a little different in comparison to Mars Opposite Neptune, where the Mars person needed to change and learn acceptance. With Mars Square Neptune, the Mars person usually feels defeated, embarrassed, revengeful, confused, regretful- maybe? You choose. The Mars person cannot get over it wherein lies the obsession fueled my passionate hate or in a caretaking way-passionate resentment. This is due to the Neptune persons unrealistic expectations of the Mars person. The whirlwind the Neptune person creates for the Mars person should be considered an Olympic sport. The house and sign each planet resides in will determine the type of whirl.
The Mars person may be up for the never-ending challenge as this secures constant stimulation. In any case, this would be a great synastry aspect to have when you desire a partner who only wants you and still chases you, years later, even in marriage. Mars usually has reputation of engaging in short term relationships. Once they get what they want they’re on to the next. Considering the Mars person wants the Neptune person but can never seem to acquire them, this in turn keeps them interested and more determined. It can also play out where the harder the Neptune person makes things the more turned on the Mars person becomes for the Neptune person. Again, it depends on the signs and houses involved to determine how these energies combined will spin.
In extreme cases, the Mars person may be abusive towards the Neptune person or they have BDSM sexual fantasies that they'd like to enact with the Neptune person. There is undoubtably a sexual undertone within this synastry that may be hard for the Mars person to express. This synastry reminds me of having a passionate desire for a celebrity, for example. You want them so bad and enjoyed a few private sessions alone fantasizing about them. Never in a million years, realistically speaking, have you thought about meeting them in real life. Let’s say by fate or chance you do meet them. The square would be you acting weird, quiet, unpleasant and or annoying in front of your crush. It’s like you finally get the opportunity to meet who you’ve been fantasizing about and you freeze up?
The Mars person may feel intimidated or fearful of the Neptune person especially in their presence- which isn’t usual for Mars. Back to my initial example, Mars is the one who really wants to arrive on the island but when it comes time to swim across the water (Neptune) to the island- the Mars person gets scared or can’t swim.
In conclusion, the Mars person may challenge or feel challenged by the Neptune person.
#krisluxxeeempress#astrology#astrology observations#astro community#astrologer#astro observations#astrology aspects#astro notes#synastry astrology#mars square neptune#neptune synastry#mars synastry
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What other hobbies do you have in life besides BDSM Art, Anime and Videogames?
I really like music! I've been doing music-related stuff since I was in elementary school. I can play a couple of instruments, I like to sing, I know my way around a DAW and I've produced some stuff of my own under a different name.
I also like to dance. For the past couple of years I've been secretly teaching myself stuff from YouTube tutorials. I'm way too shy to do it in front of anyone else though. I literally only do it in my basement with cardboard duct taped over the windows lol. When my wife saw the cardboard she got scared because she thought someone had broken into our house or something.
This one is really weird and nerdy, but I used to mess around with prediction markets a lot and consistently made money on PredictIt back when it was more active. It was very stressful and distracting. Now I just buy index funds and sleep much better at night.
I like to program. Sometimes I do problems on leetcode just for fun. For a while I've also been working on making my own (not-kink-related) game off-and-on. It's a total mess but maybe someday I'll throw it up on Steam. 🤷♀️
I actually don't watch very much anime. The last series I got really into was Cyberpunk and that was already a couple of months ago for me!
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Button ups are queer culture and i do not care what else you think!
Mike wheeler in the yellow button up undone and over a T-shirt is literally so queer coded, they may as well put him in jorts, i know it’s not the same time period but he so for real right now because this f4g canonically put this together as an outfit.
stranger things costume designers really said: “what’s the gayest outfit we can give him?” because no matter the hurry he was in, remember he left the house wearing this.
he put the purple shirt and shorts on and went ‘you know what’d go really well with purple? yellow’ so then it was the minion button up and then the fuck ass hat and glasses and not even socks and shoes
my man is in jandals 😟 flip flops even.
because yeah, you haven’t seen your girlfriend in a year and instead of… you know, dressing similarly to the other on screen encounters we have of your gay ass dressed well normally? what happened to the t-shirt and shorts? he didn’t have to wear his hellfire shirt, of course. that’d be rude because his ass saw a metalhead with tattoos and long hair and joined his D&D club after not playing D&D with his best friend for like… ever? (i know what you are wheeler.)
i saw someone headcanon that Max convinced Mike this is what people wear in california. This is why i don’t think this is the case;
Keep in mind, Max has been avoiding everyone since Billy’s death and started seeing a shrink. She probably had bigger issues than going out of her way to gaslight Mike into wearing… this.
I just don’t believe anyone for that matter convinced him. This was a conscious decision.
Mike also got on the plane to California and looked around and still decided the fit was fire? This was the fit he’d show up to greet his girlfriend with?
He got off the plane, had to go through customs and all that. He had the time to stuff the button up in his bag or take the hat and glasses off,
But no.
Now, as a gay mlm man i can confirm button ups are peak fashion in summer, @danni-california101110 can confirm the fit i’m about to show you is one i actually was going to wear
ok. but like i said, i’m a gay man. i’m a boy kisser (not really, no boy would want to kiss me)
Mike Queerler is supposed to be meeting his girlfriend he hadn’t seen in a year.
but guess another gay icon that comes to mind who also wears button ups over shirts? it wouldn’t be maybe…
another finn wolfhard character? who is also in love with his best friend?
Button ups are queer culture, fight me
Because for me, whenever i search up “masc outfits” or “masc summer outfits” on pinterest, there’s these fruity guys in button ups!!
Also do not forget about my pookie Rodrick Heffley from the live action Diary Of A Wimpy Kid
he is not getting out of this because there is no heterosexual explanation for this man.
So button ups are queer culture, and i’m right because im always right.
Mike Wheeler is gay, he wear button ups over a t-shirt
gay, end of story.
#byler#mike wheeler i know what you are#mike wheeler is gay#mike wheeler kinnie#mike wheeler#mike queerler
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introducing … tomboy! & fratboy! chris
tomboy! reader 🕸️
19. confident. “not in pink”. spiderman + any superhero. no set face claim. education major. small hidden tattoos all over her. hella piercings: both lobes (upper ones too), right industrial, left cartilage, both helix's, belly button, and her nostril. beanies. silver jewelry. dog person!! scared she isn't feminine enough. hidden hour glass figure. bruno mars + tyler the creator + sza + luke combs. “let’s just assume everyone in here doesn’t like me” - flynn rider
fratboy! chris 🕸️
21. dealer. "dont look at me like that". commitment issues. video games. lowkey fw readers music, but will never admit it. backwards hats. king of rolling joints, can do it with his eyes closed. pepsi. kendrick lamar + travis scott + king von. extremely gushy and soft if he gets too high. hates labels. lowkey, highkey, wants a lip piercing. used to play hockey in high school. 2 numbers; a personal one, and one for 'business' purposes. "i got a bitch that text me she dont got no clothes on" - big sean.
how they met ....
it was three weeks after the start of the school year, the air still filled with excitement, however, not for the 21 year old. he was actually pissed off, his frat house had hosted their second party of the year. he had fucked a random girl there and now she had somehow gotten ahold of his personal number, refusing to leave him alone
his mind wandered as he blasted 'Crazy Story' by king von on his airpods, allowing him to forget about the endless messages he had. for now at least
unfortunately, in his music dazed state, chris had actually forgotten to pay attention to his surroundings, ultimately crashing into something, someone.
SLAP!
a stack of papers hits the ground, accompanied by a couple boxes of crayons. 'wonderful' he thinks, 'this day cannot get any better'
"great" he hears, followed by a deep sigh. "sorry man, wasnt looking where i was going" she laughs out, trying to break any tension that may form between the two
chris was planning on ignoring her, not wanting to converse with this rando, when suddenly she looks up at him. "hey asshat, i may have bumped into you, but i apologized, least you can do is pick my crap up"
he smirks, squatting down
he grabs the stack of papers and boxes of crayons, "hello kitty and spiderman coloring sheets, what are you, 5?" he remarks, handing her her things. "nope, but my kids are" she replies, smiling at him, and not just one of those random smiles, a smile you give someone you've known for years, a genuine smile
taking the lollipop out of her mouth with a loud pop, she extends her hand out, "y/n, education major. econ, huh? took that last summer, it actually sucks" she introduces, noticing the book he was carrying. chris flicked her hand away, he didnt do this. he didnt talk to girls, he either, A. fucked them or B. sold weed to them, then left
simple
did she not know who he was? or his reputation? something about her intrigued him, the way she so confidently held him accountable. how she didnt suck up to him, desperate for some dick
as she walked off, adjusting her beanie, he smirked, continuing his way to class, wondering if they'd cross paths again
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a/n: HIIII please be nice 🙏🏼 i literally do not know how to write, but i really wanted to try sum 😜
pls suggest ideas for this pair cs i have no clue what im doing 🙏🏼
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo x reader#tomboy#sturniolo fic
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