#they are both men but. they can boy lez out

[rustybutterknife]

We got 2 new fictives that just so happen to be my comfort ship and all I can think about is this post

[odettecarotte]

Re: the Kristen Stewart Rolling Stone shoot

It's giving JD Samson. I guess even the gays can have a lil Y2K revival.

(I haven't even read the article. I am purely responding to the images before I go to work LOL.)

The #tag comments begging/joking about Kristen going on T, in her response to her own longing for "a little mustache, a happy trail" are very understandable. You all want to push her gender fuckery from fantasy into reality, from metaphor into the concrete, into what Saketopouou calls "the more and more" of gender OVERWHELM and of course that is HOT!!!

But even before Bella starts microdosing testosterone (or maybe she's already started, more power to her!), let us just pause, and fully appreciate this image in this moment. What if we take KStew at her word? What if this photshoot truly is "the gayest thing ever," in the grand tradition of Deep Lez aesthetics and a certain flavor of lesbian gender (which could never be TERFy because it is so clearly distinct from cis women's genders, is a creative response to different kinds of pain points, both fucking with and getting fucked over).

It reminds me of this passage, quoted in Sexuality Beyond Consent:

"I was female-assigned at birth," writes the queer theorist Kathryn Bond Stockton. "Though [my own sense was that] I was a boy… mistaken for a girl. And though I was, to my mind, the ultimate straight man seeking normally feminine women, I turned out a "lesbian," against my will-though in accord with my desires. As for my girlfriend she grew up, to her mind, normally feminine, as a rural Mormon raised in rural Utah. In her twenties, after her male fiancé died, after she didn't go on a mission, after she walked across the US for nuclear disarmament, she met lesbians and wished she could be one, so cool did they seem to her. But, she figured, she wasn't a lesbian. Long story short: I didn't want the sign ["lesbian"] but was pierced by it; she quite wanted it but didn't think she'd gain it. We have [both] been dildoed by th[at] sign. We've been pleasured by it, as it's come inside us-I've had to try to take it like a man. (2015)

Close up on Kristen Stewart on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. She's rubbing her clit underneath a jock strap. Read Sarah Tomasin Fonseca's essay in "It Came From the Closet" for a little foray into the erotics of jacking off into stolen male underwear. A truly young and otherwise disempowered dyke might steal underwear from a male relative, now we can buy what we like at the store, but the relationality is always there. Although the jock might get the most attention, Kristen is also wearing a pointelle thong in pure white cotton from Cou Cou Intimates, a brand which profits from Millennials sexualizing our girlhoods. They advertise to me on Instagram and I get skin shivers at the ability to choose, buy back and own the thong versions of underpants we wore even before men in AIM chatrooms asked us our bra sizes (when we were 11). And Kristen is wearing this delicate piece of panty in the men's locker room.

Part of the power of dyke sociality and sexuality is exclusivity. A "woman's" right to refusal can mean prioritizing other dykes, and asserting the irrelevance of straight men. And yet, in the realm of the sexual unconscious, we all know about each other. We all must deal with each other. In the words of Avgi Saketopoulou, we are all acting ON each other.

Much as the fetish clothing in the gay male leather scene comes from the uniforms of the armed forces, police, and working class, before it is transformed and inducted into delightful and perverted hiérarchies, Kristen plays with sartorial signals which might have their base in other genders, but which she uses to construct a gorgeous dyke existence.

The juxtaposition with men, not just with masculine trappings or locations, which are more easily taken over, was unsettling for me! I was scared for her! The image of her on the floor, mouth open: She's On Our Backs! But she's not, she's on the cover of Rolling Stone, the largest subscriber base is probably white Gen X men. Kristen on the floor lies in both the power and powerlessness in non-normative dyke sexuality. She's wearing an outfit that might make more sense in a leathermen bar -- decadent black leather vest, exposing jock strap -- in front of an objectified Black man. Who is he, and who is he to her? (Who is he to the dudes who subscribe to Rolling Stone?) He is jacked, with sweat (or more likely oil) artfully dripping down his washboard abs to the visible bulge in his gym shorts. A leather bar is a place to find danger, but this man is not at the leather bar. Together, they are in the men's locker room, a dangerous place for a queer or a woman. However, they seem disinterested in each other and Kristen is not afraid. She's skinny and milky (a weakling in many genders) and sitting like a neurodivergent queer, doing "hysterical clowning" with her knees up and posture hunched in front of a mirror in the men's locker room, next to a faceless white man with perfect posture and impossibly large biceps, and she also doesn't look afraid.

Her bangs have been cut with blunt scissors, messed up and sweaty. Nothing says queer like deliberately fucked up at home haircut. Finger in mouth, which reads submissive in straighter settings, but in queer orality, its giving top (if not dom) energy.

OK gotta go to work now, just wanted to blast off some associations before work!!!

[mag7dumbies]

WHO IN THE MAG7 IS LGBT+ (and who are they dating/Ed)

The Original Sassy Seven+Petra

Chris Adams is Bisexual. and has had sex with Harry at least once. He had a slight romantic relationship with Britt but it was more soft flirtation than anything physical. Of course he and Vin are a couple of marrieds

Britt is Ace. which is why Chris and him did not last long. He and Lee are a couple (I’m not sure if I got that from fic or from canon I just don’t know and I don’t care cause it’s perfect)

Lee is a gay southern belle. he just seems like he is an old queen who has a wonderful relationship with his husband, Britt. and goes to the same gay bar for about 20 years and but will gleefully hit on straighties who try to take over the bar

Harry is like straight but has sex with men HE IS ANCIENT ROMAN. that’s his sexuality I don’t know how else to describe it. But whatever he and Chris have it’s weird and there is not an English word for it (that I know of)

Vin is complicated like he probably wouldn’t have a word for it but he isn’t interested in women that much. But he and Chris are married

O’Reilly is straight like he’s a divorced dad who wears socks and sandals and has a lot of gay friends (that he didn’t know were gay until later)

Chico is very straight and hates his Bisexual wife Petra

Petra is bisexual and does have a girlfriend (they are very off and on and only stop dating after she and Chico get married but they stay friends)

The Boys+Mary,Inez, Raine, Casey and Sarah

Chris Larabee is bisexual. He, Buck, and Sarah were in a poly relationship for about 7 years, he and Buck broke up for good a few months after the fire. Chris and Vin are in love and married (it took a bit for it to take cause both of them wouldn’t know how to deal with those kinds of emotions).

Buck is pansexual (look labels don’t matter Buck will Flirt, Fuck, and Fist anyone who will have him) he and Chris were a slight item during the war but honestly that was just the war talking and didn’t actually have the love talk until Sarah was in the picture.

Ezra is Ace and genderqueer. That dress came somewhere and it came from his stuff. they will use all the pronouns. Honestly I do ship Vin and Ezra but like my otp is Chris/Vin sooooo uh yeah it is difficult

Vin is non-binary but uses male pronouns but he is still non-binary. Like I said he and Chris are married and I could see he and Ezra having a fling before Vin and Chris were a thing.

Nathan is straight but can admire the male body enough that he can question himself (ATF Nathan kissed a man in college because he honestly was curious, he didn’t hate it but it didn’t feel right)

Josiah is Demi and will fall in love with men and women (India definitely opened many doors for him) but he needs to be mentally stimulated by his company (like when he fell in love with a demon aka Maude)

JD is trans and Straight. You can rip the trans headcanon out of my cold dead hands because why else would he never contact anyone from Boston and go to the west without any plans.

Inez is a lez she will steal your wife and local news women

Mary is bi but didn’t know until her husband died (she and Terry would have been an amazing couple) but more importantly she and Inez settle down and become Gal pals

Raine is straightish kinda in the same boat as Nathan

Casey is bi and she and JD had a very long conversation about how she fell in love with JD when she believed he was full man and just because he was born differently doesn’t mean she sees him as such (terfs are not welcome on this blog)

Sarah is queer she’s kissed men she’s kissed women, she’s kissed both at the same time she’s queer

The Gayest version of the Magnificent Seven ever to exist (so far)+Emma

Sam probably is straight but like I could see him on the aro or Ace spectrum

Jack Horne is also straight

Red harvest also straight but I do like him with Teddy Q

Goodnight could not be bi-er. Everyone knows he and Billy are in love mostly because Goody CANNOT keep his hands to himself

Billy is low key gay and he likes it that way he probably would have stayed by himself if it wasn’t for Goody bombarding into Billy’s life

Faraday is like pretty fluid like he isn’t straight and has had relations with men and women. He and Vasquez may hate each other but it’s mostly because they want to jump each other bones

Vasquez is fairly close to the vest he doesn’t really do the whole having label things. But he is Bi. And he and Faraday are in love

Emma is probably straight

If y’all want I would love to hear your opinions

[noninsigni]

040320201118

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

— all of the time. i always wonder what it’d be like to have a different brain, but i dont wish to be any specific person, just... not me.

2: What is your full name?

— paige marcia thompson, heh.

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

— 20. ive been mistaken for ages 14-22.

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

— i couldnt even guess a ball park number of how many times ive dyed it.

5: What’s your eye color?

— can i lie and say green til its true? jk, brown with hints of green ;)

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

— i mean i hate it but try not to, highly uncomfortable in my skin suit. id tear it off if i could.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

— rose drawing tat, “FIRE” tat lmao, nose, septum and nipple pierced.

8: What would you say is your best quality?

— physically, i have a cute nose. personality wise, open mindedness. personal thing, the way i think heh

9: What are you really bad at?

— relationships.

10: What talent do you wish you had?

— anything having to do with music

11: Are you nice to everyone?

— im nice unless im pissed off, then im mean to everyone.

12: What do you think about the most?

— existence, pre existence, post existence.

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

— LIKE: knowledge, music taste, ability to forgive, sometimes im funny, the fact that my laugh changes daily, the fact that i give drunk pep talks and motivational speeches to people i love hahahaha, how intensely i think and feel about things.

—DISLIKE: emotions control me more than i control them, basically everything physically, how easy it is for me to rage, drug habits, secrets

14: What is your least favorite word?

— panties, clucking.

15: What is your favorite word?

— sacapuntas/muñeca for spanish, idk for english. unofficial word, lachesism.

16: Are you more like your mom or dad?

— i used to always think i was an exact copy of my dad but sometimes i feel a lot like my mom. def still more dad though.

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

— bitch, DAILY

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

— i didnt think my mom would appreciate me at 14 years old telling her i was going to go drink myself to death in the woods. idk LOL

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

— only to myself. these answers are true! my thoughts are lies. hehehehe identity crisis;)

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

— i think the oldest was 33 and i did not appreciate it.

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

— i wish. but no.

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

— with every fiber of my being.

23: Are looks important?

— no, but we’re brainwashed to believe they do.

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

— do what makes you happy. love who you love, but no way in hell am i dating anyone outside of 3-4 years older or a year younger.

25: Would you date someone off the internet?

— it didnt go so well the last time, so no.

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

— ive cried over both!

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

— bitch thats MY TYPE.

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

— love wise, yes. friend wise, yes.

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

— uhhhh, yes. at least 4 people now.

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

— imagine drunkenly confessing your love to your best friend and then just pretending it never happened. hahh.. haha.. ha.

31: How does someone win your heart?

— show me passion. even if its just talking about a very simple thing. teach me things without meaning to. care for me during extreme lows.

32: What turns you on?

— body language, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS FUCK ME, wording, teasing, intelligence, confidence, singing, ability to play instruments, and then theres all the actual sex stuff lol

33: What turns you off?

— bad breath, illness, submissive men, low self esteem, men being animals lol, certain pet names, certain voices

34: Do you get jealous easily?

— oh you betcha. ive punched concrete til my hands bled over seeing a subtle flirt between someone i wasnt even dating & a pretty girl lol

35: What is your definition of cheating?

— anything physical you’d usually only do with your partner that you feel the need to hide from them. sending nudes. das about it though.

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

— in a way, yeah. but mostly no, it sits in the back of my mind always even if i remain in contact.

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

— many times! but guess who cares? not me

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

— indeed. i disgust myself, yeah thats right.

39: How often do you listen to music?

— almost everyday

40: First concert you attended

— Black Eyed Peas!!! hehe fergie was so hot. i remember thinking that when i was 10 and was like o.O am i a LEZ BEE IN?

41: Last movie you watched

— The Gentlemen

42: Favorite type of movie

— horror.

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

— i kinda talk about everything bc the only way i know myself is through the stories ive gathered from living. but idk. there probably is and i just cant think

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

— if i want to, yes. but thats stupid so why try?

45: Do you fall in love easily?

— no. i get interested easily but i slip like sand thru peoples hands

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?

— i think some people say it too much but most people dont say it enough.

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

— christmas i guess but really i hate all of them

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

— i am, sometimes i wish i had higher expectations and more defined boundaries.

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

— hot springs in Lake Arenal, Costa Rica.

50: What’s your “type”?

— mentally unstable, free thinker, intelligent, spontaneous, ability to be content staying in or going out

[satannedtrash]

a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?” 

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker 

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

no

at-

no

him 

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord 

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

[burntcopper]

(text below as it’s a premium article, more pictures and such at the link)

Mark Monahan, dance critic

7 MAY 2019 • 7:00AM

It is one of those volatile spring days where the weather can’t make up its mind, and I am in the studios at Three Mills Island, deep in the East End of London, watching rehearsals for Matthew Bourne’s brand-new production of Romeo and Juliet. To judge by the section of Prokofiev’s ever-astonishing score firing from the speakers, we are in the midst of the final, calamitous scene of Act II.

Tybalt staggers on, paralytically drunk. So far, so familiar to anyone who’s seen certain Tybalts in the Royal Ballet’s production – except that he is also clutching a revolver, which he brandishes at the terrified crowd of young onlookers. He then takes Mercutio and Balthasar hostage, forcing them, at gunpoint, to snog each other. As Bourne slyly tells me a little later, “I should say, it doesn’t follow the plot exactly – it is a Romeo and Juliet-type story We have got a couple of surprises up our sleeve…”

How could Bourne possibly not? After all, he is the dance-theatre supremo who, with his company Adventures in Motion Pictures (recast as New Adventures in 2002), has repeatedly put bold new spins on old works, often opening them up to entirely new audiences.

He is most famous for having redefined ballet at a stroke in 1995 by making all the waterfowl in his Swan Lake brazenly bare-chested men. But he also spiced up Carmen with a dash of The Postman Always Rings Twice and set the result in a steamy garage (The Car Man, 2000); transformed an obscure Sixties film, The Servant, into perhaps the other sexiest dance show so far this millennium (Play Without Words, 2002); and risked taking two adored, emphatically cinematic films – Edward Scissorhands and The Red Shoes – and putting them on stage (in 2005 and 2016). It was also Bourne who set Cinderella in Blitz-ravaged London (1997), thoroughly re-cracked The Nutcracker (1992) and sharpened up The Sleeping Beauty with vampires (2012). The fact that this master choreographer-producer and storyteller – already riding high with his superb current revival of Swan Lake – is now tackling the most stirring balletic tale of all makes this the single most eagerly awaited dance show of 2019.  

“I think the key to the success of this company,” he tells me, “is that it brings in people who feel this is not something they’d normally understand, something they’re a bit scared of.”

So, besides the snippet of Act II that I catch, what sort of Romeo and Juliet can we expect when it launches in Leicester next week? The various New Adventures members I chat to prior to Bourne himself maintain an omertà-like silence about it, saying only that it’s set in an unspecified time in the near future, and reminding me that the show’s tag-line is “Imagine a time when love is forbidden …”.

Thankfully, the New Adventures grand vizier himself – remarkably affable and unstuffy in person – is a little more forthcoming. Designed (as usual with this company) by the terrific Lez Brotherston, the show, Bourne says, will be roughly two hours long, in three acts, but with just one interval, with the score rearranged (by Terry Davies) for a 15-strong live band. He also says that his scenario was “very vaguely” inspired by Anna Hope’s 2016 novel The Ballroom. Beyond that, however, Bourne is careful to tantalise rather than reveal, and this spirit of mystery extends to the show itself.

“We haven’t absolutely hit on a definite ‘this is it’ thing,” he says, “We think all these young people are in this institute. I want the audience to ask, ‘Why are they there? Is this to do with mental health? Is this a borstal? Is this a prison, a school? What is it? What’s going on? They’re obviously receiving some sort of medication. What it comes down to is that any excess of feeling is frowned upon and has to be, um…”

Quelled?

“Yes, quelled – good word! So, emotions are kept to a minimum, and they’re all young people who’ve been dumped there, because they’re trouble.”

Tybalt, Bourne explains, is now a corrupt guard. And, although there appears to be no Capulet family in this version, “we still get one set of parents, the Montagues, who bring Romeo there. We see him arrive, and they’re a bit like Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright in House of Cards, a political couple probably, and Romeo’s a bit of an embarrassment. He’s a bit like [the US President’s youngest child] Barron Trump, but a little bit older. He seems to have been locked away somewhere, bless him, poor boy.”

Bourne also hints that he, true to form, will not be holding back on the sensual side of things.

“I felt I could capture something that’s not in the ballet if we set it in a different time, something that was a bit more raw, a bit more like young people really are. I mean, when they get together, they go for it. They’re not thrilled by a kiss on the cheek – if they’re kissing, they’re kissing for hours.”

The regularity with which the word “young” comes up as we talk nods to another remarkable aspect of this new production. It marks the largest confluence to date of the two main strands of Bourne’s company: its fully professional performing side, and the charitable arm that aims to inspire young people to try their hand at dance. In practice, this means that a huge and heartening number of young people are involved in every aspect of the production which features two separate casts, each with their own set of star-crossed lovers.

It’s remarkable enough that two of the Juliets – Bryony Wood and Bryony Harrison – are just 19 and 21 respectively, and that one of the Romeos (Harrison Dowzell) is also 19. But many of the performers will be younger still.

A year or so ago, the company did a nationwide call-out for what they call the “local casts”. It whittled the 1,000-odd trainee dancers who applied down to 97, all aged 16-19, who will now be performing with the company. Throughout the 13-venue tour, New Adventures will be divided in half, with each half leapfrogging the other across the country. So, as one (dubbed the Capulets) starts performing in one town, the other (the Montagues) will begin a week’s pre-show rehearsal in the next. And waiting to join the company in every city, with the adrenalin doubtless pumping ferociously, will be six of those already-prepped youngsters. (The exception is the Leicester sextet, already involved in the London rehearsals.)

This, I suggest to the young-cast rehearsal director Paul Smethurst, looks like a project that could benefit British dance full-stop. “We have definitely found the next generation of star dancers,” he says. “And, we’ve found so many of them.”

What’s more, this youth drive extends to every aspect of the production. For example, young associate choreographer Arielle Smith is just 22. When she insists to me that Bourne often tells her, “Do what you want to do!”, and Smethurst, that “Arielle has a real voice and a real vision that she’s bringing to the piece”, I do privately wonder just how much trust the 59-year-old, Tony- and Olivier-garlanded Sir Matthew Bourne, OBE can really be putting in one so young. Then, minutes later – with Bourne coaching the principals across the corridor – there she is, working with dozens of corps members, and “holding” the room with complete command.

Now, these are, of course, gender-fluid times, especially in the eyes of the young. Besides which, Hackney-born Bourne (who these days lives in Islington with his partner, fellow choreographer Arthur Pita) has often toyed around with sexuality in his productions. Was he, I wonder, tempted to make his Romeo and Juliet a gay romance?

“Well,” he says, “I suppose years ago I may have gone with that. But, following on from Lord of the Flies [revived in 2014 with a largely teenage cast], which was all men, I didn’t feel this was the right time to go all male. So I thought, no, this is a chance to work with young people of both sexes.”

That said, Tybalt’s viciously enforced embrace does suggest that Bourne is up to plenty of gender-related mischief here.

“Oh, definitely, yes,” he confirms. “We wanted to have all life is here a little bit, especially with all the young people involved. I give them a bit of freedom with whatever sexuality they choose to be – how their character identified was important. For example, Mercutio’s got a boyfriend in this – that’s Balthasar. And there are a couple of girl characters who identify as gay, with one, Frenchy, who’s in love with Juliet.”

If anyone can get away with all this sort of thing, it is Bourne. His theatrical instincts have seldom let him down over the years (2008’s Dorian Gray the exception that proves the rule), and the brief section I see rehearsed – despite the absence of proper set, lighting, costumes and live music – is genuinely thrilling. What, I ask him, is the secret of his success? How has someone who didn’t even start dance training until he was 22 (at the Laban, in south-east London) made such a colossal mark on the dance world?

He credits his famous obsession with character – with giving every single person on stage a backstory and a purpose – with having collaborated on various non-New Adventures shows with “great directors” such as Trevor Nunn, John Caird, Sam Mendes and Richard Eyre. He also adds, “I think the key to the success is that I’m also quite reverential. I love the ballets, I love the scores, and I don’t want to mess with them too much. I want to honour the composers in a way that I feel is OK. And I want to tell a story to people.”

And want to get the audience involved?

“Yes,” he confirms. “And it just comes completely naturally to me. It’s not something I work at. I’ve never thought, ‘How do you get an audience on-side?’ It’s just completely the way I think about things, and I don’t see the point of it otherwise.”

Matthew Bourne’s Romeo + Juliet opens on May 13 at the Curve, Leicester, and tours the UK until October. Details and tickets: new-adventures.net

[isitneccessary]

[Morning Musume ‘18] Haga Akane has no interest in boys, has never fallen for one

(This turned into a bit of an obsessive oshi post. Wota get excited over the dumbest things. That includes both me and the people in this thread.)

[original thread]

1: 2018/07/22(日) 01:56:04.11 0.net

Source is YoungTown

れい@ri_hrk

Haga “Since long ago, I’ve had no interest in men, and I’ve never liked a boy.”

Sanma “Do you see Kudou as a romantic interest?”

Haga “What do you think?”

#yando

10:45 - 2018年7月21日

3: 2018/07/22(日) 01:56:41.77 0.net

What’s so strange?

You’ve never fallen in love with a woman before either.

4: 2018/07/22(日) 01:57:15.72 0.net

Was she a lesbian?

5: 2018/07/22(日) 01:57:26.50 0.net

I stan!!!!!!!

7: 2018/07/22(日) 01:58:43.80 0.net

That’s the best!

10: 2018/07/22(日) 02:02:59.84 0.net

It’s a pretty high ranking thing to say.

8: 2018/07/22(日) 01:59:34.40 0.net

I’m guessing she’s trying to appeal

12: 2018/07/22(日) 02:05:12.85 0.net

Someone who hates men would never become an idol to begin with.

16: 2018/07/22(日) 02:08:34.04 0.net

Iikubo once said that she cancels out her desires towards males by reading manga, didn’t she?

13: 2018/07/22(日) 02:06:15.01 0.net

Her first love is yet to come

6: 2018/07/22(日) 01:58:13.22 0.net

It’s cuz she was always bullied lol

17: 2018/07/22(日) 02:09:03.56

She’s said she was at the top of the school caste at times and that she was bullied at others so I can’t believe what she says.

2. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 05:33　id：3q.ibW1v0 (comment from matome site)

>>17

Going from Elementary school (Nagano) → Middle School (Nagano) → Middle School (Tokyo) is a big change in environment, so it wouldn’t be strange that her social standing in the school also changed.

19: 2018/07/22(日) 02:10:07.89 0.net

She’s bragged that she’s never lost an argument because she tires out the opponent or says things that make them wanna leave

She challenged Ogata-san (Risa) for no real reason but was defeated, and the fact that she opened her heart to her after that is pretty cute.

20: 2018/07/22(日) 02:11:05.58 0.net

21: 2018/07/22(日) 02:12:53.16 0.net

Her b**bs are pretty big.

That’s nice.

22: 2018/07/22(日) 02:13:24.75 0.net

She fell for Kudou in the all-girls school way

24: 2018/07/22(日) 02:16:32.22 0.net

Didn’t she just like Kudou while thinking of her as a guy?

25: 2018/07/22(日) 02:16:40.85 0.net

I love her.

31: 2018/07/22(日) 02:20:24.25 0.net

No choice but to stan

35: 2018/07/22(日) 02:29:11.64 0.net

As expected of a Reina Child.

34: 2018/07/22(日) 02:28:05.71 0.net

How many times are you people going to be tricked by this lie?

37: 2018/07/22(日) 02:30:18.64 0.net

With that face and those boobs there’s no way she’s not popular

40: 2018/07/22(日) 02:32:06.63 0.net

There’s no way there’s no way.

41: 2018/07/22(日) 02:33:58.36 0.net

People who say stuff like this are the exact ones who suddenly announce marriage and pregnancy.

I know it.

42: 2018/07/22(日) 02:34:45.20 0.net

I bet she recently got a guy and is feeling guilty about it so she ended up saying this.

43: 2018/07/22(日) 02:34:57.85 0.net

The law is idols who say this unprompted always have a man.

46: 2018/07/22(日) 02:40:37.59 0.net

By that law you must think Michishige is a total slut lol

45: 2018/07/22(日) 02:39:25.64 0.net

A real lez, as expected of a Sayu successor

48: 2018/07/22(日) 02:59:01.65 0.net

It would be interesting if she was HelloPro’s first lesbian but saying she’s never liked a boy just has to be a lie.

(”first”)

58: 2018/07/22(日) 06:42:11.61 0.net

In Akanechin’s case, she might actually be a lesbian, which is scary

51: 2018/07/22(日) 03:10:25.50 0.net

Too bad for the gachikoi wotas.

55: 2018/07/22(日) 06:30:51.71 0.net

I always thought she was a fairy girl. I guess I wasn’t wrong

(not the English slur for fairy as gay just like literally a fairy)

61: 2018/07/22(日) 07:14:28.98 0.net

Supposing this is true, when she falls in love for the first time

She’ll jump to the very top of Musume.

Whether you believe it is up to you.

62: 2018/07/22(日) 07:21:04.37 0.net

Virgin big boobed angel Akane

66: 2018/07/22(日) 07:59:43.69 0.net

Girls who have never liked boys wouldn’t become idols

They won’t have motivation.

There’s already people saying this, but

67: 2018/07/22(日) 08:05:38.04 0.net

I wonder if she’s had bad experiences with boys before.

75: 2018/07/22(日) 18:52:27.43 0.net

It’s okay if you fall for me, Akane.

76: 2018/07/22(日) 21:14:53.86 0.net

It’s rare for you guys to think a lesbian appeal might be for real.

78: 2018/07/22(日) 23:50:55.76 0.net

She bought Maria’s photobook with her own money, so basically...

Some matome site comments:

10. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 18:06　id：u7s6Z.Zu0

Hating men and not liking men romantically are different things entirely. To begin with, wota, whether male or female are like a strange animal more than anything so counting one as a man or a woman is suspicious.

11. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 20:52　id：bzQt7u1G0

Nechin is strong willed, a celebrity even if it’s temporary, and apparently the daughter of someone with a lot of influence in her hometown, so it’s not surprising that boys would be too scared to confess.

13. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月24日 12:26　id：mMWQlCrF0

Girls who are strong-willed, beautiful and tall are the type guys keep their distance from.

Obviously you can never know anything for sure, but I do have an opinion on this matter, so here’s a video of Akane gushing about Duu and her favorite girl/girl couple IshiDuu.

This articulate and obsessive fervor is basically how she talks about these two topics at all times, and her obsession with Duu has continued on with the not at all masculine Hayami Umika. 

The thing about Maria’s photobook is true, by the way. She also bought the photobooks of Duu and her favorite actress, Yamamoto Maika.

And then here’s an excerpt from her blog post about Ogata Risa aka Marunee, her second favorite person in the world after Duu. This blog post was a special post where she made a holiday on August 8th for giving thanks to Marunee, like mother’s day or father’s day, but the way she talks about her here is how she always talks about her:

Somehow Marunee,

I think it’s natural for her but,

She totally matches my sense of humor lol I don’t laugh at all at a lot of comedy stuff but,

Marunee is really good at making me laugh.

So when we’re together, it’s super fun~♡ Whenever I’m texing Marunee,

I’m always laughing.

She’s so funny!!!!!!!!!

Once, I told her “I had a really nice dream last night”

And she said “Good for you! Sounds delicious!” (lol) So when I replied “What do you mean delicious???”

“Eh, why did I say delicious again?” was what she said!!!! I was laughing so hard lololol But the thing that made me laugh the most recently was when I wrote her “I love you the second most in the whole world!! Second most! But really it’s more like 1.5th most”

Sending her my love as usual← “I thought you might say that (lol). I thought I might get up to 1.5th place or 1.1th place (lol)” is what she said (lol) For me that’s a total bullseye hehehe I thought, How did she see through me! (lol) She can make me laugh just through text,

Well, she’s probably not meaning to but,

That’s why she’s the best ♡♡♡

Then more than anything, we just click!!! There’s so many things I can only talk about with Marunee... Things that other people would definitely call “gross”,

Marunee will definitely understand.

Of course, there’s lots of things we talk about besides that……... Also, she’s my number one source of healing

Her minus ions are amazing!!! When I’m tired, or feeling sad,

If I hug Marunee, I’m healed…... Thank you so muuuuuuuuuuch!!!!!!! The person who makes me smile the most,

The person who I trouble the most

And therefore the person I want to thank the most.

That’s Marunee!!!!!! lol

Thank you for everything!!!!!!!!!

I love you!!!!!!!

Take this information as you will.

[scarecrowandmrking]

Scarecrow and Mr. King: Devils and Angels

          "Well, what do you want me to fucking do?"            I gritted my teeth, my knuckles turning white as I held the phone in an iron grip against my face. The back of Glenny's, the strip joint I worked at, was filled with dancers running back and forth in varying degrees of undress. Several made sure to knock against me where I stood using the phone. I hadn't made a lot of friends here. And my slightly protruding stomach made some of the girls think I was on my way out so it was alright to act a fool.            "I want you to act like a fucking man, Johnny," I screeched, making the head of one of the bouncers turn to me with a look of alarm on his face. I ignored him and kept on yelling.            "I told you I'm gonna do this. What's the problem?”            "You're never around. You ain't got no fucking job. That's my problem. Grow the fuck up."            I slammed the phone down. Hard to believe just three months earlier I was Donna Masterson, cafe waitress and aspiring actress. Sure, life sucked, but it was my damn life. Days spent running around from set to set. Campus to cafe. And yeah, Maybe the  guy thing was never ideal. I was never really a stunner like my best friend, Jenny Anderson. But I did ok. Now I was fucking pregnant by one of the biggest douchebags god ever put on this green earth.  And forced to go back to stripping to make ends meet. God, it sucked balls.            My name got called over the loud speaker from the stage. Well, my fake name: Luci. It was a funny homage to the nickname they gave Lucifer on Supernatural. I chose it because my friend Jenny was dating the actor who played him. I'd even worn my devil costume tonight. The cute little get up with short red dress and devil horns and tail.  Jenny had told me Mark had been in something of a slump lately and wanted to cheer him up. I have to admit, thinking about how sexy the man was, I was pretty happy to oblige.            I got my shit together as Dorothys Raise Hell started to play in the club. I let the music wash over me, remembering all the dancing lessons I had taken as a kid. The way you breathe and hold yourself. Let yourself become one with the rhythm of the music. I never let myself think of the men looking at me in the seats beyond the stage. Yeah, I took their money. But they weren't real to me. They couldn't get to me. Get under my skin. Even if they were getting an eyeful of everything else.            I wasn't surprised to find that Jenny and Mark were seated in a tiny alcove in the back of the club. Nobody would have spotted them unless they'd really been looking. And who would? At the moment all eyes were on me. Including Jenny's and Mark's, I noticed. Never thought my pal had a lez bone in her body before, but I could tell as I swayed to the music she was feeling something. You dance long enough, you can tell. Helps you work the right customers with the right wallets. I wasn't up here to go hungry, after all.  Mark was harder to pin down, though. His face was impassive, eyeing me without the faintest hint of interest on his face. It pissed me off so much went over there, making sure to drop my top along the way.            "What's your pleasure, sir?" I cood, reaching out to stroke his shoulders.            "I'm here with her," he says with a grin on his face, nodding towards Jenny, who I saw now was wearing an angel's costume. Pretty, white wings crushed up against the back of her chair.            "And I say all work and no play makes Mark a dull boy," I say just loud enough for my two friends to hear.            I moved my hips back and forth to the fast moving beat, noticing at this close an angle the obvious bulge in Mark's pants. That's all the encouragement I needed. In one swift move I was on his lap, running my hands along his broad chest and shoulders. Hell, he felt good. My wet pussy rubbed against his crotch and I could tell from his sudden jerk away from me that he had felt it through the fabric of his jeans.          "Well, this is getting interesting," he said. Looking over at Jenny, he fixed her with an inquiring look as if to ask if this was her doing.           She got to her feet and offered Mark her hand. He stared at the two of us, looking for all the world like a lamb being led to slaughter. With a sigh of resignation  that didn't seem quite genuine, he got to his feet and allowed himself to be led to one of the dark little rooms at the back of the club. This was the place the real money got made. And rules got broken, depending on who you were and how much money you were willing to spend.           This room had a long black couch running the length of the wall. I had taken the liberty of bringing a chair in earlier. I sat Mark down in it while Jenny went and sat on the couch to watch this new show. the one where I did things with her boyfriend and she imagined fucking us both. I'd done this act before, but never with people who I saw as people. And I have to admit it turned me on like hell.            The song had changed from Raise Hell to Imagine Dragons Thunder. I slowed my movements down a little, letting Mark's gaze roam over my now naked body. I noticed his eyes linger for a split second on my slightly rounded tummy. I refused to let insecurity seep into my performance. Fuck, Mark already knew I was knocked up, why the hell should it matter if he thought I was showing a little? I let the thought drift away, moving once again to straddle his lap.            Grasping his face in my hands, I leaned in to crush my lips against his.  He nearly pushed me to the floor in his attempt to spring to his feet.  Two hands held him down by the shoulders. I looked up to find Jenny standing behind the chair. She had a firm look on her face, one hand reaching up to tangle in Mark's hair. She twisted it. Hard.            "Now, you and I came here to have fun. And you are making me very angry. And you know what I do when I'm angry."            The two stared at each other and I could feel Mark's cock stiffen even more against my wet pussy. I grinded against him instinctively and, for the first time, he pushed back.           "Good boy." Jenny smiled. She reached down to kiss his forehead.           "Now let her suck your cock. But you can't touch her."  Jenny pulled out two long white ties from some damn where on her skimpy angel costume. I giggled for a second, wondering just how much of this she had planned ahead of time. Fuck, she was a kinky bitch.           "Yes, ma'am," Mark whispered, his gaze going from Jenny to me. There was a vulnerability in his clear blue eyes I'd never seen before. This was the private Mark. The one who let his guard down when his hands were tied and his ass was owned. And it was one of the most erotic things I had seen in a long time.            Slowly, I undid each of Mark's buttons, kissing the bare flesh all the way down to the crotch of his jeans.            "Jenny," Mark moaned, his eyes locking with his girlfriend. She had taken a spot behind me. Her hands stroking my full breasts.            "No, Mark."            Jenny grabbed my head and forced it down onto her boyfriend's cock. Under regular circumstances, I wouldn't have liked something like that. But this was my friend, so the pressure on the back of my head didn't really bother me. She set the pace, moving me up and down on his cock. Using my mouth like a sex toy to please him.            "Does that feel good?"            She pushed him into my mouth so deep I gagged. But she wouldn't let me up until Mark had made a moaned yes.            Over and over Jenny did this. Torturing me with gagging and tears unless Mark gave her what she wanted. When she was satisfied, she allowed me to get up.            Mark was a real mess by this point. Hair all messed up. Clothes disheveled. Saliva slick cock hanging out. He eyed Jenny like some sort of goddess. And at that moment I had never wanted anything more in life than to fuck them both.            "Now you're going to fuck that knocked up pussy and fill it full of cum for me," She commanded, pushing me towards her lover.            This woke me up a little. I hadn't agreed to this. Play with Mark, yeah. Suck his dick, whatever. But fuck him and let him cream me?  Only three guys had ever done that. That was a special thing. Not a casual fuck thing for me. Nope. No way.            "Jenny, uh, no."            She just eyed me for a moment, not saying anything. Then she reached out and stroked my pussy with knowing fingers.             "You want his cum inside you. Look how hot for it you are. Its nice and warm when he fills you up. I promise. And he makes the sweetest little face when he cums."           Fuck that bitch. I couldn't say no to that shit.           I got on top of Mark and took his thick cock inside of me in one savage thrust. I was nothing but an animal at that point. Riding his body to get off. He took turns moaning Jenny's name and mine, his face pressed against my shoulder. The tenderness of the gesture just made me feel more savage, increasing my pace and clawing into his back.            Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He was an amazing kisser, seeming to know every place I liked to be caressed and bitten. I felt the added sensations of kissing and wild fucking pull me closer to the edge. I bucked my hips hard, wanting to take him over with me.            "You can cum, Mark."            The words had barely left Jenny's lips when I reached. My head flew back and I lost control of myself as I came harder than I had in fucking forever. The sensation was followed by a warm gushing feeling deep in my pussy and I glanced down to see Mark breathing hard under me. He really did have a sexy  look on his face when he filled a woman up. I sat on his cock as he continued to squirt inside of me. It felt so damn good I squirmed a little, making him thrust upward to stay locked inside of me.          When he was done creaming me, I got to my feet.          "You gonna untie me?"          Jenny stared down at Mark, an angry expression suddenly crossing her angelic face. Her hands were suddenly tangled in my hair again. But this time she was guiding me towards her own crotch.          "Fuck you, Mark. Now its your turn to watch."

[readbookywooks]

This is the bright candlelit room where the life-timers are stored – shelf upon shelf of them, squat hourglasses, one for every living person, pouring their fine sand from the future into the past. The accumulated hiss of the falling grains makes the room roar like the sea. This is the owner of the room, stalking through it with a preoccupied air. His name is Death. But not any Death. This is the Death whose particular sphere of operations is, well, not a sphere at all, but the Discworld, which is flat and rides on the back of four giant elephants who stand on the shell of the enormous star turtle Great A'Tuin, and which is bounded by a waterfall that cascades endlessly into space. Scientists have calculated that the chance of anything so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten. Death clicks across the black and white tiled floor on toes of bone, muttering inside his cowl as his skeletal fingers count along the rows of busy hourglasses. Finally he finds one that seems to satisfy him, lifts it carefully from its shelf and carries it across to the nearest candle. He holds it so that the light lints off it, and stares at the little point of reflected brilliance. The steady gaze from those twinkling eye-sockets encompasses the world turtle, sculling through the deeps of space, carapace scarred by comets and pitted by meteors. One day even Great A'Tuin will die, Death knows; now, that would be a challenge. But the focus of his gaze dives onwards towards the blue-green magnificence of the Disc itself, turning slowly under its tiny orbiting sun. Now it curves away towards the great mountain range called the Ramtops. The Ramtops are full of deep valleys and unexpected crags and considerably more geography than they know what to do with. They have their own peculiar weather, full of shrapnel rain and whiplash winds and permanent thunder-storms. Some people say it's all because the Ramtops are the home of old, wild magic. Mind you, some people will say anything. Death blinks, adjusts for depth of vision. Now he sees the grassy country on the turnwise slopes of the mountains. Now he sees a particular hillside. Now he sees a field. Now he sees a boy, running. Now he watches. Now, in a voice like lead slabs being dropped on granite, he says: YES. There was no doubt that there was something magical in the soil of that hilly, broken area which – because of the strange tint that it gave to the local flora – was known as the octarine grass country. For example, it was one of the few places on the Disc where plants produced reannual varieties. Reannuals are plants that grow backwards in time. You sow the seed this year and they grow last year. Mort's family specialised in distilling the wine from reannual grapes. These were very powerful and much sought after by fortune-tellers, since of course they enabled them to see the future. The only snag was that you got the hangover the morning before, and had to drink a lot to get over it. Reannual growers tended to be big, serious men, much given to introspection and close examination of the calendar. A farmer who neglects to sow ordinary seeds only loses the crop, whereas anyone who forgets to sow seeds of a crop that has already been harvested twelve months before risks disturbing the entire fabric of causality, not to mention acute embarrassment. It was also acutely embarrassing to Mort's family that the youngest son was not at all serious and had about the same talent for horticulture that you would find in a dead starfish. It wasn't that he was unhelpful, but he had the land of vague, cheerful helpfulness that serious men soon learn to dread. There was something infectious, possibly even fatal, about it. He was tall, red-haired and freckled, with the sort of body that seems to be only marginally under its owner's control; it appeared to have been built out of knees. On this particular day it was hurtling across the high fields, waving its hands and yelling. Mort's father and uncle watched it disconsolately from the stone wall. 'What I don't understand,' said father Lezek, 'is that the birds don't even fly away. I'd fly away, if I saw it coining towards me.' 'Ah. The human body's a wonderful thing. I mean, his legs go all over the place but there's a fair turn of speed there.' Mort reached the end of a furrow. An overfull woodpigeon lurched slowly out of his way. 'His heart's in the right place, mind,' said Lezek, carefully. 'Ah. 'Course, 'tis the rest of him that isn't.' 'He's clean about the house. Doesn't eat much,' said Lezek. 'No, I can see that.' Lezek looked sideways at his brother, who was staring fixedly at the sky. 'I did hear you'd got a place going up at your farm, Hamesh,' he said. 'Ah. Got an apprentice in, didn't I?' 'Ah,' said Lezek gloomily, 'when was that, then?' 'Yesterday,' said his brother, lying with rattlesnake speed. 'All signed and sealed. Sorry. Look, I got nothing against young Mort, see, he's as nice a boy as you could wish to meet, it's just that —' 'I know, I know,' said Lezek. 'He couldn't find his arse with both hands.' They stared at the distant figure. It had fallen over. Some pigeons had waddled over to inspect it. 'He's not stupid, mind,' said Hamesh. 'Not what you'd call stupid.' 'There's a brain there all right,' Lezek conceded. 'Sometimes he starts thinking so hard you has to hit him round the head to get his attention. His granny taught him to read, see. I reckon it overheated his mind.' Mort had got up and tripped over his robe. 'You ought to set him to a trade,' said Hamesh, reflectively. 'The priesthood, maybe. Or wizardry. They do a lot of reading, wizards.' They looked at each other. Into both their minds stole an inkling of what Mort might be capable of if he got his well-meaning hands on a book of magic. 'All right,' said Hamesh hurriedly. 'Something else, then. There must be lots of things he could turn his hand to.' 'He starts thinking too much, that's the trouble,' said Lezek. 'Look at him now. You don't think about how to scare birds, you just does it. A normal boy, I mean.' Hamesh scratched his chin thoughtfully. 'It could be someone else's problem,' he said. Lezek's expression did not alter, but there was a subtle change around his eyes. 'How do you mean?' he said. 'There's the hiring fair at Sheepridge next week. You set him as a prentice, see, and his new master'll have the job of knocking him into shape. 'Tis the law. Get him indentured, and 'tis binding.' Lezek looked across the field at his son, who was examining a rock. 'I wouldn't want anything to happen to him, mind,' he said doubtfully. 'We're quite fond of him, his mother and me. You get used to people.' 'It'd be for his own good, you'll see. Make a man of him.' 'Ah. Well. There's certainly plenty of raw material,' sighed Lezek. Mort was getting interested in the rock. It had curly shells in it, relics of the early days of the world when the Creator had made creatures out of stone, no-one knew why. Mort was interested in lots of things. Why people's teeth fitted together so neatly, for example. He'd given that one a lot of thought. Then there was the puzzle of why the sun came out during the day, instead of at night when the light would come in useful. He knew the standard explanation, which somehow didn't seem satisfying. In short, Mort was one of those people who are more dangerous than a bag full of rattlesnakes. He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. The Creator had a lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it understandable hadn't been one of them. Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals. His father was yelling at him, as usual. Mort threw the rock at a pigeon, which was almost too full to lurch out of the way, and wandered back across the field. And that was why Mort and his father walked down through the mountains into Sheepridge on Hogswatch Eve, with Mort's rather sparse possessions in a sack on the back of a donkey. The town wasn't much more than four sides to a cobbled square, lined with shops that provided all the service industry of the farming community. After five minutes Mort came out of the tailors wearing a loose fitting brown garment of imprecise function, which had been understandably unclaimed by a previous owner and had plenty of room for him to grow, on the assumption that he would grow into a nineteen-legged elephant. His father regarded him critically. 'Very nice,' he said, 'for the money.' 'It itches,' said Mort. 'I think there's things in here with me.' There's thousands of lads in the world'd be very thankful for a nice warm —' Lezek paused, and gave up – 'garment like that, my lad.' 'I could share it with them?' Mort said hopefully. 'You've got to look smart,' said Lezek severely. 'You've got to make an impression, stand out in the crowd.' There was no doubt about it. He would. They set out among the throng crowding the square, each listening to his own thoughts. Usually Mort enjoyed visiting the town, with its cosmopolitan atmosphere and strange dialects from villages as far away as five, even ten miles, but this time he felt unpleasantly apprehensive, as if he could remember something that hadn't happened yet. The fair seemed to work like this: men looking for work stood in ragged lines in the centre of the square. Many of them sported little symbols in their hats to tell the world the kind of work they were trained in – shepherds wore a wisp of wool, carters a hank of horsehair, interior decorators a strip of rather interesting hessian wallcovering, and so on. The boys seeking apprenticeships were clustered on the Hub side of the square. 'You just go and stand there, and someone comes and offers you an apprenticeship,' said Lezek, his voice trimmed with uncertainty. 'If they like the look of you, that is.' 'How do they do that?' said Mort. 'Well,' said Lezek, and paused. Hamesh hadn't explained about this bit. He drew on his limited knowledge of the marketplace, which was restricted to livestock sales, and ventured, 'I suppose they count your teeth and that. And make sure you don't wheeze and your feet are all right. I shouldn't let on about the reading, it unsettles people.' 'And then what?' said Mort. 'Then you go and learn a trade,' said Lezek. 'What trade in particular?' 'Well . . . carpentry is a good one,' Lezek hazarded. 'Or thievery. Someone's got to do it.' Mort looked at his feet. He was a dutiful son, when he remembered, and if being an apprentice was what was expected of him then he was determined to be a good one. Carpentry didn't sound very promising, though – wood had a stubborn life of its own, and a tendency to split. And official thieves were rare in the Ramtops, where people weren't rich enough to afford them. 'All right,' he said eventually, 'I'll go and give it a try. But what happens if I don't get prenticed?' Lezek scratched his head. 'I don't know,' he said. 'I expect you just wait until the end of the fair. At midnight. I suppose.' And now midnight approached. A light frost began to crisp the cobblestones. In the ornamental clock tower that overlooked the square a couple of delicately-carved little automatons whirred out of trapdoors in the clockface and struck the quarter hour. Fifteen minutes to midnight. Mort shivered, but the crimson fires of shame and stubbornness flared up inside him, hotter than the slopes of Hell. He blew on his fingers for something to do and stared up at the freezing sky, trying to avoid the stares of the few stragglers among what remained of the fair. 

[swipestream]

Wargame Wednesday: Les batailles des Quatre Bras, Ligny, et Mont Saint Jean

Hat tip (and maybe eventual blame) to commentator Terry from my Avalon Hill Battle of Waterloo post.  He recommend La Bataille de la Moscowa and I recently bought three Clash of Arms games from the same series: La Bataille de les Quatre Bras, La Bataille de Ligney and La Bataille de Mont Saint Jean, which is the expansion for Ligny and Quatre Bras.

The price was right but I hesitated as these games require a significant investment in time and finding an opponent will be problematic. A look at the maps and the ability to link all three games into a massive Waterloo campaign gave me no choice but to buy and start diving into the rules. This game was first published in 1991 so one day I hope to follow up and let you know if this game system has stood the test of time. A 2013 edition of Quatre Bras is available and I may investigate that later.

The Clash of Arms team were Napoleonic wargame fanatics. Check out this link to see they have most of the major battles of the period covered and have been producing these games since the 70’s.

Currently, I’m slogging through the Quatre Bras rules, divided into the Standard Rules (27 pages with an additional 8 pages providing examples of play) to be followed by the Exclusive Rules of almost 3 pages which refines the differences between the different nationalities (e.g. French horse batteries limber on a roll (1D6) of 2-6 as opposed to horse batteries of the King’s German Legion who can limber after rolling a 3-6 or the less proficient Brunswick Horse battery which required a roll of 4-6) and terrain modifiers. The scale of the games and complexity of the rules are mitigated by a rule governing regular movement (Manoeuvre Exploiter) under the title: Errors in Judgement.  Each player only gets 10 minutes, then must stop moving his units and the rule book suggests use of “…a chess clock, stop watch or egg timer”.

This regiment of 2000 infantry is deployed in a line 400 meters long (500 men per hex)

From the rule book: “Each 16mm hexagon represents an area roughly 100 meters across. Each turn represents 20 minutes of time. Each increment of strength represents 100 infantrymen (a pied); 50 cavalrymen and their horses (a cheval); or a section of guns (2 to 4 depending on their nationality)”.  Players will maneuver corps around the large maps and the corps’ divisions are comprised of counters representing either a regiment (usually 9 to 18 strength points or 900 to 1800 infantrymen for the French) or two to three counters representing the regiment’s battalions. The front of a counter only reveals the unit’s apparent strength and movement factor but the back side, face down until engaged in combat, lists combat values for fire, melee, skirmish, morale and range.

Leader counters “represent the interjection of personality at an important place and time on the game map” and the front of a leader counter only reveals the rank and movement potential of the leader while the back side contains the Leader’s name, and how he modifies dice rolls for units he is stacked with.

Quatre Bras is played on one 34×22 inch map and what a map it is. Each hex representing a village or chateaux is unique while the color scheme is pleasant.  One really gets a sense of the countryside with woods, orchards, cultivated grounds, sunken roads and hedgerows adorning the battlefield.  I believe some attention to detail has been applied to the map creation. I did a spot check on the church hex located in Frasnes and the modern Eglise de Frasnes lez Gosselies seems to be in the right spot though it seems that the Bois de Bossu, which effectively prevents the French from flanking Les Quatre Bras to the west is now the Pierpont golf course.

Various attack factors at three different ranges on the left and maximum range, morale and melee value on the right.

It is possible to link both the Quatre Bras and Ligny maps together and recreate the two battles fought on 16 June. That would be one heck of a team game but finding room for all four of Ligny’s maps, not to mention the fifth map for Quatre Bras will take a very large playing surface in an area free of cats and other disturbances for a long period of time.  Still, I can’t wait to learn the game.

  Quatre Bras map on the upper left with the four Ligny maps.

  Wargame Wednesday: Les batailles des Quatre Bras, Ligny, et Mont Saint Jean published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames