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mimssides · 1 year ago

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Ballroom Dancing Is Not For Everyone

The royal ball is not a fun place for Remus Sparrowheart of the White Valley. But he doesn't get to choose where he gets to be. He never will. Yet maybe, the company he has in his brother will make all of it more bearable. And maybe he will find some new companions at this not-not-so-fun-ball after all.

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Spinning, spinning, spinning.

The dresses spun in circles. The nice dress shoes drew circles. The room was a circle.

The music looped. The dancers looped. Remus’ mind looped.

No straight lines, no edges, no corners. No place where Remus could go and hide. And even if he had been able to hide, he would not have been allowed to. He had to follow protocol, had to be a good representative of White Valley, and play nice and fair and stay put and idle.

He gripped the hem of his white gloves. He never liked the white. It got dirty so fast and he got scolded so often when he ended up with just a little speck of dirt on it. For Roman it was less of a problem, he liked the white and didn’t mind not playing in the dirt so much but he as well would have preferred to wear a more colourful attire than the white suits with the silver accents.

“Do not complain. Silver and white are tasteful and decent without being too obnoxious. We might be royalty but we mustn’t become self-absorbed. Stay humble.”

Remus had woken up screaming that night as he woke up from a nightmare where he had slammed a knife into his mother’s and popped the eyeball out of the socket as if it had been a meatball. He had been lucky that Roman had been in his room already and helped him calm down. No one else learnt of it and so neither twin got into trouble for sleeping in the same room that night.

With a yank, Remus pulled his right glove off. He pushed it into the too-small pocket of his jacket and turned to the side so that nobody could see his full pocket. If they didn’t see him messing with the stupid dress code nobody could snitch on him and get Roman and him into trouble for “misrepresenting the White Valley”. Not that Remus understood why the two youngest teen princes and not the actual prince regent were held responsible to represent the whole Valley. It wasn’t like Roman or he would ever get the crown, and neither did they want it. Well, Remus didn’t want it.

Roman was another story. Remus looked for him and saw him standing next to some other young men on the other side of the room. He was smiling politely and laughing mildly when it was expected of him. The perfect son his mother could have asked for. Sometimes even better than Rasmus but that was usually only said when their mother attempted to make her oldest listen to her. Yes, Roman too was just another kid she weaponized to get her will.

A peckish feeling led to Remus leaving his spot at the far eastern side of the ballroom. As quickly as he could he passed by the other guest, praying that none of them looked too closely at him or just ignored him when they did. Not all of them did though. Lady Whiteleaf from Poppy Fields made eye contact and spoke directly to him. Painfully he was pulled into an empty conversation of chitchat where he was questioned about how travel was, where they were staying and how hot the weather was for this time of year.

It took her ten minutes to lose interest in him and she excused herself daintily smiling to get to her next acquaintance. Usually, Remus wouldn’t have cared about that but right now, as he felt this deep sense of disconnection from his surroundings, her dismissal hurt. Everything was starting to hurt and suddenly, now that he stood in front of the sweets and pies, he wasn’t so sure anymore if he could eat something. Maybe he shouldn’t try. Maybe he should just hide somewhere.

He looked around, scanning for all exits just to realize that all his escape routes were blocked by all the royal partygoers. Of course, how stupid was Remus to forget that hiding was never an option?

Somebody spoke to him. It took a moment until Remus realized that he was blocking the way to the buffet and he quickly grabbed a treat and stood aside so the next person could take whatever they liked. He looked back at the man who had told him to move after stepping away. His mother would have said that it’s impolite to rush people and he would have gotten scolded if he had been the one to tell some guy to move away like that. But well, that lucky bastard wasn’t unfortunate enough to be his mother’s son. Thus, that four-eyed idiot in blue could be as rude as he liked.

Maybe he should get to Roman and complain to him about that idiot. Maybe that would help with the spinning. Measured he took a small bite from the piece of lemon pie (of course he had gotten the one type of cake that he neither liked nor hated but felt completely indifferent about) and looked to where he had seen his brother at last. He didn’t stand there anymore, not that it surprised him, Roman was mingling with many so there was a good chance that he was with a different group now. Carefully he scanned the ballroom, a big round cylinder with a glass dome as a roof. That’s why there were no corners to hide in, Remus remembered and grew a little more nervous.

The nervousness increased with every moment when he didn’t spot Roman yet. Slowly he began to walk along the wall, eyes flying over each inch he hadn’t seen before, yet there was no Roman.

Remus’ heart beat fast. The people around him talked fast. His hands shook fast.

His steps to the hall were slow. The lingering looks from the royals left him too slow. The way his hands trembled in his pockets made him feel slow.

He didn’t know when he walked up a staircase, this castle was too big for him, the halls too wide, the space far too open, but now he was standing in front of a window which decidedly wasn’t 1st story level anymore. He could see into a wide open garden, hedges neatly trimmed and aligned in perfect precision. His stomach turned.

He ran now. His feet made a clicking sound on the marble floors because his soles were too hard and too flat for running around. He ran still. He ran and ran until he spotted a door which seemed to blend into the wall, a door for servants, for brooms and dirty scraps maybe. He opened it and went inside, no looking back. It was dark and nobody said a thing so it was fine. It was safe. He was safe. He fell to his knees, his chest hurt, his head hurt. Breathing was hard. Stab your mother with a dull gardening shovel. Claw her eyes out with your fingers. Drink the eye juic-

“What’s the fucking matter with the stupid eyes lately?!” Remus whimpered and pulled himself out of the thought by pulling his hair.

Helplessly he pushed his face against his thighs and let his fingers scratch his scalp. He didn’t think about how it would mess up his hairdo or how it could hurt him or how his mother would be angry with him for doing so. He just needed the thoughts to stop.

A warm hand was settled on his own. A soft thumb run over the back of his hand, easing it to let go of his head and hair.

“Well done, Emu. You do well.”

Rapidly Remus blinked. Immediately the voice shooed him, told him to slow done and Remus listened. He listened and was good and well and only sat up to look at his brother when his hands weren’t cramped anymore, and his thoughts didn’t hurt so miserably anymore.

“You found me.”

Roman laughed shakily and leaned his forehead against Remus’. Then Roman closed his eyes and took a watery breath. His hands settled on Remus’ shoulder and suddenly Remus understood. He laid his arms around Roman and pulled him close.

“The room started spinning for you too?” Remus asked.

Roman winced. Of course, he did. He hated it after all when he couldn’t do things the way their mother expected him to. When he was a little too similar to Remus for her liking. When he was too unpredictable to be the manipulatable puppet she wanted him to be.

Remus sighed and readjusted their positions, so he ended up sitting next to his foolish brother and could hug him from the side. It had always been easier for Remus to relax around Roman, while Roman only was able to let out or give in to his emotions around Remus. Not that Remus minded that he was emotional or messy around him, but he could see that Roman avoided him for that very reason and he wished it wasn’t that way.

Yet now, none of that mattered. Now, they sat on the floor of a supply closet, as Remus now realized and just tried to get their composure back. They would have to return to the baller sooner than later otherwise their mother would hear of this and that wouldn’t end well for anybody.

So it was time to just breathe and calm down, Remus decided and took a deep breath.

The door opening rapidly and two other people storming in didn’t help to calm either twin down though. Neither when the smaller one audibly hyperventilated and the other one frantically slapped the wall to find a light switch. Neither when the other one hit the light switch and revealed that Janus Myrrth, first son to the Myrrth’s and heir of the Golden Garden estates, and Virgil Myrrth, second son of the Myrrth’s of the Golden Garden estates, were the ones who had chosen their little chamber as their escape place.

“You truly are unbelievable-” Janus hissed but abruptly stopped.

So did Virgil’s hyperventilating as he and his older brother looked down at the twins huddled against a shelf filled with jars of berry jams. Remus' body felt like static and his eyes ran over the matching black suits, Janus’ decorated with gold patterns and a warm yellow ascot and Virgil’s with silver trimmings and a simple purple tie. It looked rather nice, his mind helpfully added, and he slowly let his arms drop from his brother.

Roman next to him was stiff as a board, looking directly at Janus’ birthmarks covering the left side of his face. The heir noticed and Remus immediately rammed his elbow into Roman’s ribs to keep him from staring. His twin yelped but finally unfroze and lowered his face in shame before he perked up again.

“I apologize,” he said formally and got up from the floor. “I was rude. It seems we’ve occupied a spot you are in need of. Please, let us forget about this and-”

Roman didn’t get to finish as Virgil started to hyperventilate again, with much more force than before. That did the trick and Roman sprung into action. Without much thinking, he sprang to the younger prince and guided him, without ever touching him, to a barrel which was standing close but not too close to the shelf they were all huddled around. With gentle but certain words he told him to sit, to breathe, to not fret.

Remus raised from the floor, his hands falling leisurely in his pockets and watching his brother being in his element. With a grin, he glanced to Janus who eyed the spectacle with a cold glare and only after a moment realized that he was being watched.

“And what of you, Sparrowheart?” the older teen snarled.

Remus chuckled and garnered a death stare of Roman for it. But here Remus didn’t care what people could possibly think of him being loud and not perfectly polite and palatable.

“I am not the one who got angry at his hyperventilating brother, J-anus. And to speak of it, we were here first. Go and find your own closet to be an asshole in,” Remus said cheerfully.

The undignified stare Janus shot Remus could have murdered but the glare he felt shooting through his back from Roman was torture. Maybe he did go a little too far?

“Pff,” a tiny voice began to wheeze and all turned their attention to Virgil.

The youngest prince was laughing into his hand. His shoulders shaking with amusement, only getting stronger when Janus told him to get a grip.

“He called you J-J-anus” Virgil giggled and pressed his hands against his hurting stomach.

Perplexed both twins looked from him to Janus, who visibly blushed at his younger brother’s words and tried to say something only for Virgil to interrupt him again.

“I never heard anybody say that to your face! That’s hilarious!”

“You are such an uncultured child”, Janus chided.

His voice didn’t carry any actual sharpness though. Part of his initial anger seemed to have simmered away and given way to relief. Maybe he wasn’t quite as much of an asshole as Remus had initially thought. Maybe he had just been so high-strung because he was worried for his younger brother.

Before anything else could be done with that realization once more the door to the supply closet got opened. Four pairs of eyes me the sights of two princes dressed in shades of blue.

“That’s the idiot who told me to move my ass at the banquet!” Remus blurted and pointed his finger at the taller one in blue.

Now that he got a better look at him he realized, that he probably too was along their age, maybe a little older and spotted the Whiteleaf crest on his left breast pocket. He blinked.

“Fuck. That was stupid,” he cursed and glared at his shoes.

He heard the familiar voice of Logan Whiteleaf, heir and the first son of the Whiteleaf’s and of the Poppy Fields, scoff at that just as a second not familiar voice perked up.

“What did you do this time, Lo! It’s not nice to tell people to go away!”

Promptly Remus looked up. The smaller teen, he was for sure a year or two younger than Remus, had turned around and stared at Logan with an impressively disappointed pout. Logan looked back with an impressively annoyed eyebrow raise.

“I didn’t do anything scolding-worthy. I simply told this adolescent to step aside so I could get to the buffet,” Logan retorted.

The tween shook his head and went on: “How long did he stand here? Did you say it kindly or were you being too harsh again? You know what mama says about keeping your voice in check.”

At that Logan simply rolled his eyes and sidestepped him to look at the rest of the people inside. His eyes flickered from Remus to Janus in recognition before they fell on Virgil and Roman. And as he looked at them his face fell. Immediately Remus' attention locked onto his twin. He cursed and pressed past Logan to get to Roman’s shaking side.

“Oh no! Did we scare Vee’s new friend D:”

“How on earth did you make that sound with your mouth?”

“Virgil is not friends with one of the stupid Sparrow twins!”

“Janus! Don’t be mean to them either >:[”

“Are we truly glossing over the fact that Patton just…”

Remus didn’t listen to their voices in the background. He just tried to slowly, so slowly, inch closer to Roman. His hands were barely allowed to move, so slowly did he raise them into Roman’s field of vision. Which was quite a feat since Roman had basically rolled into a ball and his face was hidden against his arms.

“Ro, it’s okay,” Remus tried to coax him weakly. “I’m gonna take the blame. I mean I was being stupid not you, so it’s only fair and she can’t always make you responsible for my actions.”

Roman shook more.

“Right?” Remus added with a shiver.

Roman didn’t say a thing. Of course, their mother would make Roman responsible for Remus’ missteps. One more reason why Roman should hate him. Maybe he hated him already but was too nice to say a thing.

A gentle pull on his sleeve got Remus’ attention. Virgil had crouched down beside him and was staring at Roman as well. His lips shivered but he looked much calmer than before. He met Remus’ look and quietly pointed his chin towards Roman and asked almost voicelessly: “Is he scared of being scolded?”

Remus didn’t even think before he already nodded. The other boy's face turned into a surprisingly sad frown, and he leaned towards Roman and patted his shoulder.

“’s okay,” Virgil whispered, “that you’re scared. But you don’t need to worry anymore. Logan and J-anus over there won’t snitch on you or your brother.”

With a flinch and heavy panting Roman lifted his head just a little to look at Virgil’s face.

“Why w-wouldn’t they?” he asked with great doubt.

A tiny smile stole its way on Virgil’s lips, almost a cute one in Remus’ opinion, and he said: “Because they’re both soft idiots and have to be nice to people their younger brothers’ like.”

“You like us?” Remus and Roman said surprised in unison.

Virgil snickered, again rather cutely in Remus’ opinion, and from behind the three of them a light blue whirlwind stormed towards them. With a yelp, Remus and Virgil toppled against Roman as the tween crashed against them in a very enthusiastic hug.

“Yeah! People who help my friend Virgil are my friends too!” the boy in light blue said with a wide smile.

This close up Remus’ brain finally registered that he was just getting hugged and offered friendship by Patton Whiteleaf, the third and youngest son of the Whiteleaf’s of the Poppy Fields.

Baffled Roman looked at him and Remus snickered a little hysterically before they both looked at Virgil who snorted and teased them that they took Patton’s declaration of friendship even worse than he had at first. Roman made a hurt sound whereas Remus jolted forward and lifted Patton off the floor with a happy yelp. Logan and Janus just shot each other a tired look as the four younger teens broke into chaotic chatter.

Well maybe, in the years to come, they might think a little differently about the wild first encounter they had that with the Sparrowheart twins. They certainly wouldn’t admit it though.

At least not out loud.

#eir writes #sanders sides #ts remus #ts roman #ts virgil #ts janus #ts logan #ts patton #older work for a gift exchange i now finally put on tumblr #remus angst #cw abusive parents #cw anxiety attack #fluff/angst #they are all teens in this

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