#they are a great source of comfort when i need it :] but i dont need it all the time bc i am reconnecting with fam!!

[thewandererh]

goodnight from my children

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[estapa-edwards]

YOU LOOK GREAT - N. MOLDENHAUER

paring: Nick Moldenhauer x fem! reader

word count: 6.6k

requested? yes - "Sorry for borrowing your clothes" "Dont be. You look great in them" w/ nick moldenhauer

warnings: use of y/n. change of povs. 1st to third

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As I stepped onto the University of Michigan campus, I was filled with excitement and nerves. College was a whole new world, and I was eager to dive into everything it had to offer. Little did I know, one of the most impactful aspects of my college experience would be meeting Nick Moldenhauer.

Nick and I met during freshman orientation. He was a towering figure, with a friendly smile and an easygoing demeanor that instantly put me at ease. We were both assigned to the same dormitory, and as luck would have it, our rooms were just a few doors apart.

​​"Hey there," he greeted with a casual wave, his voice carrying a hint of Midwestern warmth. "You must be Y/N, right? I heard we're practically neighbors."

"Yeah, that's me," I replied, trying to match his easygoing tone. "It's nice to meet you, Nick. Looks like we lucked out with our dorm assignments."

Nick chuckled, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Definitely. Who knows, maybe we'll end up being the best of friends."

Little did I know, his words would ring true in the months to come. As we settled into our respective rooms, the proximity of our living quarters made it easy for us to strike up conversations whenever we crossed paths in the hallway or kitchen.

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One evening, as I struggled to navigate the maze of laundry machines in the basement, I bumped into Nick sorting through a pile of clothes.

"Need a hand?" he asked, flashing me a reassuring smile.

I nodded gratefully, relieved to have some company in the otherwise deserted laundry room. As we waited for our loads to finish, we chatted about everything from our hometowns to our favorite sports teams, discovering shared interests and mutual acquaintances along the way.

At first, our interactions were limited to passing hellos in the hallway or brief chats in the communal kitchen. But as the weeks went by, we found ourselves gravitating towards each other more and more.

I vividly remember one chilly October evening when Nick and I found ourselves studying in the common area of our dormitory. With textbooks spread out on the table between us and the soft glow of overhead lights casting a warm ambiance, we delved into a deep conversation about our respective majors.

"So, what made you decide to major in sociology?" Nick asked, genuine curiosity coloring his voice as he flipped through the pages of my textbook.

I shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "I've always been fascinated by human behavior and societal dynamics. Plus, I figured it would give me a better understanding of the world around me."

Nick nodded thoughtfully, his blue eyes reflecting the flickering light of the nearby fireplace. "That's cool. I never would've guessed you were interested in that stuff. I always pegged you as more of a science person."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Believe it or not, I actually considered majoring in biology at one point. But sociology just felt like the right fit for me."

Our conversation meandered from topic to topic, spanning everything from our favorite books and movies to our most embarrassing childhood memories. With each passing day, I found myself drawn to Nick's infectious energy and genuine kindness, his presence becoming a source of comfort and joy in the whirlwind of college life.

Before I knew it, our interactions had transitioned from sporadic encounters to regular hangouts. Whether it was grabbing lunch between classes or meeting up for late-night study sessions in the library, Nick and I were practically inseparable.

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One chilly evening, with the soft glow of the library's reading lamps casting a warm ambiance, Nick and I found ourselves huddled together at a secluded study table, surrounded by towering stacks of textbooks and piles of lecture notes. The gentle hum of students whispering and keyboards tapping provided the perfect backdrop for our intense study session.

As I struggled to make sense of the dense sociological theories sprawled across my textbook, I couldn't help but steal glances at Nick, who was engrossed in his own set of notes, his brow furrowed in concentration. His tousled hair caught the dim light just right, casting shadows across his chiseled features, and I couldn't deny the flutter of excitement that stirred within me.

"So, what do you think about this concept?" Nick's voice broke through my reverie, pulling me back to the task at hand.

I blinked, trying to focus on the page in front of me. "Um, sorry, could you repeat that?" I stammered, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks.

Nick chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I asked what you thought about this concept. You seem pretty lost in thought over there."

I bit my lip, trying to come up with a coherent response. "Honestly, I'm not sure. It's a bit abstract for my liking."

Nick nodded in understanding, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer than necessary. "Yeah, I get that. Sometimes these theories can feel a bit...out there."

His playful tone sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but meet his gaze head-on, the air between us suddenly charged with tension. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though we were the only two people in the world, lost in our own little bubble of shared laughter and lingering glances.

As the hours slipped by and the library grew quiet around us, I found myself drawn to Nick in a way I couldn't quite explain. Maybe it was the late hour or the adrenaline of exam season, but something about the way he looked at me made my heart race and my palms grow clammy with anticipation.

And as we packed up our belongings and made our way out into the cool night air, I couldn't shake the feeling that our study session had been about so much more than just academic pursuits.

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The anticipation buzzed in the air as I made my way to the University of Michigan hockey arena, the excitement palpable with each step I took. It was game day, and as I navigated through the throngs of enthusiastic fans decked out in maize and blue, I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for my friend Nick and the rest of the Wolverines team.

As I settled into my seat, the energy of the crowd enveloped me, filling me with a sense of exhilaration unlike anything I had ever experienced. The stadium lights illuminated the ice rink below, casting a mesmerizing glow over the gleaming surface, and I found myself holding my breath in anticipation of the game to come.

And then, as if on cue, the players burst onto the ice, their skates slicing through the frozen surface with effortless grace. Among them was Nick, clad in his signature jersey and helmet, his eyes focused and determined as he prepared to face off against the opposing team.

I couldn't tear my gaze away as the game unfolded before me, each play more thrilling than the last. From bone-rattling body checks to lightning-fast slap shots, the action was relentless, keeping me on the edge of my seat with every twist and turn.

And through it all, Nick was a force to be reckoned with, his skill and athleticism shining brightly as he darted across the ice, deftly maneuvering the puck with precision and finesse. With each pass and shot, he seemed to defy gravity, his movements fluid and effortless as he propelled the puck towards the opposing team's goal.

As the game reached its climax, with the score tied and the tension mounting, I found myself cheering louder than ever, my heart pounding in time with the thunderous roar of the crowd. And when Nick scored the winning goal in the final seconds of the game, sending the arena into a frenzy of cheers and applause, I couldn't help but leap to my feet in sheer elation.

Amidst the jubilant celebrations that followed, I made my way down to the ice, eager to congratulate Nick on his stellar performance. And as he skated over to greet me, his face flushed with exertion and his eyes shining with excitement, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride for my friend and all that he had accomplished.

"Great game, Nick!" I exclaimed, unable to contain my enthusiasm as I wrapped him in a tight hug.

Nick grinned, his breath coming in short gasps as he returned the embrace. "Thanks, Y/N," he replied, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I’m glad you came.”

Nick's gratitude washed over me like a warm wave, filling me with a sense of contentment that I hadn't realized I was searching for. His words echoed in my mind, each syllable imbued with a depth of emotion that tugged at my heartstrings in the most unexpected way.

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I pulled back slightly to meet Nick's gaze. "Of course, Nick," I replied, my own voice filled with genuine affection. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. You played amazing out there."

Nick's grin widened, his eyes sparkling with appreciation. "Thanks, Y/N," he said, his voice soft and sincere. "Having you here means a lot to me. It's like having my own personal cheering section."

I laughed, the sound bubbling up from deep within me. "Well, consider me your number one fan," I declared, playfully nudging him with my elbow. "I'll be here cheering you on every step of the way."

As we stood there, basking in the afterglow of the game and the warmth of each other's company, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between us. There was a newfound closeness, an unspoken bond that seemed to transcend the confines of friendship and venture into uncharted territory.

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I fumbled through my pockets, panic rising in my chest as I realized that my dorm key was nowhere to be found. With a sinking feeling, I recalled setting it down on the coffee table in my friend's dorm room across campus earlier that evening. It was already late at night, and the thought of trekking all the way back across campus to retrieve it was daunting, to say the least.

"Shit," I yelled, frustration boiling over as I glanced at my watch, the hands ticking closer and closer to midnight. How could I have been so careless?

Just then, I heard footsteps approaching from down the hall, and before I knew it, Nick appeared in the doorway, concern etched across his features.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with worry as he took in my distressed expression.

I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "I forgot my dorm key at Sarah's place across campus," I admitted, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks. "And now it's too late to go back and get it."

Nick frowned sympathetically, his brow furrowing in thought. "That sucks," he said, his voice tinged with empathy. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt for inconveniencing him. "I don't want to bother you, Nick," I replied, my voice tinged with regret. "It's my own fault for being so forgetful."

But Nick simply waved off my protests, his expression determined. "Nonsense," he declared, his eyes sparkling with determination."I'm not letting you wander around campus alone in the middle of the night. Besides, my dorm is just down the hall. You can crash on my couch for the night."

I blinked in surprise, caught off guard by his unexpected offer. "Are you sure?" I asked, feeling a rush of gratitude wash over me.

Nick nodded, a reassuring smile gracing his lips. "Absolutely," he replied, his voice warm and sincere. "Consider it a sleepover. We'll watch some cheesy movies, raid the vending machine for snacks, and before you know it, morning will be here and you can go get your key."

His words filled me with a sense of relief, and I couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for my friend and his unwavering kindness. "Thank you, Nick," I said, my voice soft with emotion. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Nick grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You don't have to thank me," he replied, his tone gentle. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right," I echoed softly, my voice tinged with gratitude. But beneath the surface, I couldn't help but feel a subtle shift in the air, a flutter of something unfamiliar stirring in the depths of my heart.

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As the movie played in the background, the dim light casting a cozy glow over Nick's dorm room, I couldn't help but notice the oversized hoodie I was wearing. It was soft and warm, the fabric carrying a faint scent of Nick's cologne that enveloped me like a comforting embrace.

"Hey, you're wearing my clothes," Nick remarked with a playful grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he gestured towards the hoodie I had borrowed.

I felt a flush of embarrassment creep up my cheeks as I glanced down at myself, suddenly self-conscious under his scrutiny. "Sorry for borrowing your clothes," I murmured, feeling a pang of guilt for invading his personal space.

But Nick simply waved off my apology, his expression warm and reassuring. "Don't be," he replied, his voice gentle. "You look great in them."

His words caught me off guard, sending a rush of warmth flooding through me. In that moment, bathed in the soft glow of the TV and surrounded by the comforting scent of Nick's cologne, I couldn't help but feel a sense of closeness that went beyond mere friendship.

And as we settled back into the couch, our shoulders brushing against each other in the intimate space, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between us, something unspoken and electric that lingered in the air like static electricity.

As the movie wound down and the credits rolled, Nick stretched his arms above his head, a contented sigh escaping his lips. "Well, I think it's about time I hit the hay," he said, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Got an early practice tomorrow."

I nodded in understanding, the warmth of the hoodie he lent me providing a sense of comfort as I curled up on the couch. "Yeah, I should probably get some sleep too," I replied, stifling a yawn.

Nick bid me goodnight with a gentle smile before disappearing into his bedroom, leaving me alone in the dimly lit living room. I closed my eyes, hoping to drift off into a peaceful slumber, but as the minutes ticked by, sleep eluded me.

Suddenly, a shiver ran down my spine as a vivid nightmare gripped my subconscious, sending me tumbling into a world of darkness and fear. I jolted awake, my heart pounding in my chest as I struggled to catch my breath, the remnants of the nightmare still haunting me.

Without hesitation, I sprang from the couch and made my way to Nick's bedroom, my pulse racing with a mixture of fear and desperation. I knocked softly on the door, my voice trembling as I called out his name.

"Nick?" I whispered, my hand hovering uncertainly over the doorknob. "Can I come in?"

The door creaked open, revealing Nick's concerned expression as he peered at me from the darkness of his room. "Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I recounted the terrifying nightmare that had shaken me to the core. Without hesitation, Nick pulled me into his embrace, his arms wrapping around me in a comforting cocoon of warmth and safety.

"It's okay, Y/N," he murmured, his voice soothing and reassuring. "You're safe now. I'm here."

And as we settled into his bed, our bodies pressed close together in the darkness, I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over me

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As I blinked away the remnants of sleep, the warmth of the bed enveloping me in its comforting embrace, I couldn't shake the feeling of confusion that lingered in the air. Where was I? And why did everything feel so... different?

As I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, it dawned on me—I was in Nick's bed. Memories of the night before flooded back, the nightmare that had shaken me awake, and Nick's comforting presence as he held me close, soothing away my fears.

But as I looked around the room, I realized that I was alone. Nick was nowhere to be seen, leaving me feeling a pang of disappointment and confusion. Had it all been a dream?

Without hesitation, I reached for my phone, my fingers trembling as I typed out a quick message to my friends, recounting the events of the night before and the unsettling feeling of waking up alone in Nick's bed.

But as I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up, the sound of the front door opening caught my attention, sending a rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. Was it Nick? And if so, where had he been all morning?

My heart pounded in my chest as I approached the doorway, the anticipation almost overwhelming. And then, as I stepped into the living room, my eyes widened in surprise at the sight before me.

There, standing in the doorway with a sheepish grin on his face, was Nick. He was clad in a rumpled t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair tousled from sleep and a guilty look in his eyes.

"Hey, Y/N," he greeted, his voice tinged with nervousness. "I, uh, didn't mean to leave you alone this morning. I had to run out for a bit, but I'm back now."

I blinked in confusion, unsure of how to respond to his sudden reappearance. "Oh," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "That's okay. I, uh, was just... surprised to wake up alone."

Nick's expression softened, a hint of regret flickering across his features. "I'm sorry," he said, his tone sincere. "I should've let you know where I was going. I just went to get your key.” 

As Nick's words washed over me, a wave of relief flooded my senses. The tension that had been coiling in my chest loosened, replaced by a sense of gratitude for his thoughtfulness and consideration.

"You went to get my key?" I repeated, my voice tinged with disbelief. "But... why?"

Nick shrugged sheepishly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I know how much you hate running across campus alone, especially at night," he admitted, his tone earnest. "And after everything that happened last night, I just wanted to make sure you didn't have to go through that again."

His words struck a chord deep within me, stirring a swell of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me. Here was Nick, going out of his way to ensure my safety and well-being, even after a night that had undoubtedly left him exhausted and drained.

"Thank you, Nick," I said, my voice soft with emotion. "I... I don't know what to say."

Nick smiled, his eyes lighting up with genuine warmth. "You don't have to say anything," he replied, his tone gentle. "Just knowing that you're safe is enough for me."

Feeling Nick's arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm embrace, I couldn't help but let out a shaky sigh of relief. His presence was like a comforting anchor in the midst of uncertainty, grounding me and soothing away the lingering traces of fear and doubt.

For a moment, we stood there, locked in a tight embrace, our bodies pressed close together as if seeking solace in each other's warmth. And as I buried my face in Nick's shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne, I felt a sense of peace settle over me like a soft blanket.

"Thank you, Nick," I murmured, my voice muffled against his chest. "For everything."

Nick squeezed me tighter, his grip firm and reassuring. "Anytime, Y/N," he whispered, his breath warm against my ear. "I'll always be here for you."

And in that moment, surrounded by the gentle rhythm of Nick's heartbeat and the warmth of his embrace, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as I had Nick by my side, I would never have to face them alone. With him, I felt safe, cherished, and utterly, unquestionably loved.

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The euphoria of victory pulsed through the air as Nick and his teammates celebrated their triumph on the ice. The cheers of the crowd still echoed in his ears as he made his way through the bustling streets of campus, the adrenaline of the game fueling his every step.

But amidst the jubilant celebrations and congratulatory pats on the back, Nick couldn't shake the feeling of restlessness that gnawed at his insides. Despite the victory, despite the adulation of the fans and the pride of his teammates, there was a sense of emptiness that lingered beneath the surface—a void that seemed impossible to fill.

So, without giving it a second thought, Nick found himself wandering aimlessly through the familiar streets of campus, the cool night air washing over him like a balm for his weary soul. With each step, he felt the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of freedom and exhilaration unlike anything he had ever experienced.

And then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Nick found himself standing before Y/N's doorstep, his heart pounding in his chest as he hesitated for just a moment before reaching out to knock.

The sound of his knuckles rapping against the wood echoed through the stillness of the night, sending a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins. What was he doing here? What had possessed him to seek out Y/N in the dead of night, with no explanation and no plan?

But before he could second-guess himself any further, the door swung open, revealing Y/N's surprised expression as she took in the sight of him standing on her doorstep, breathless and disheveled from the night's festivities.

"Nick?" she exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. "What are you doing here?"

Nick's throat felt dry as he struggled to find the right words, his mind racing a mile a minute as he searched for an explanation. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I needed to see you."

Y/N's expression softened, a hint of concern flickering across her features. "Are you okay?" she asked, reaching out to gently touch his arm.

Nick nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, I think so," he replied, his voice steadier now. "I just... I wanted to be with you." 

As Y/N ushered Nick inside, a surge of tension crackled in the air between them, palpable and electric. There was a raw vulnerability in the way Nick looked at her, his gaze searching hers with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine.

"Thanks," Nick muttered, his voice husky with emotion as he stumbled into the warmth of Y/N's apartment. "I appreciate it."

Y/N nodded, her heart pounding in her chest as she guided him to the couch, his movements unsteady and uncertain. She couldn't help but notice the way his hand lingered against hers, the heat of his touch searing her skin even through the fabric of her clothes.

As she settled Nick onto the couch, a flood of conflicting emotions washed over Y/N—concern for his well-being, frustration at his reckless behavior, and a simmering undercurrent of something more, something she couldn't quite put into words.

"Here," she murmured, her voice soft as she handed him a bucket in case he needed it. "You should probably drink some water and try to get some rest."

Nick nodded gratefully, his gaze lingering on Y/N's face for a moment longer than necessary. "Thanks, Y/N," he said, his voice hoarse with gratitude. "You're too good to me."

Y/N forced a smile, her heart twisting with a mixture of longing and regret. "It's no problem," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just... try not to make a habit of it, okay?"

Y/N's heart clenched as she watched Nick settle onto the couch, his features softened by the haze of alcohol. She wanted to reach out, to erase the troubled lines from his forehead, but she held herself back, the tension between them too thick to ignore.

"Goodnight, Nick," she murmured, her voice tinged with a mixture of concern and hesitation. "Call out if you need anything, okay?"

Nick nodded, his eyes heavy with exhaustion as he mumbled a barely coherent reply. And with a heavy heart, Y/N turned away, retreating to the solitude of her bedroom, where she could grapple with the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to consume her.

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But just as she was drifting off to sleep, a loud retching sound shattered the silence of the night, sending a jolt of panic coursing through her veins. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Y/N bolted upright, her heart hammering in her chest as she rushed to Nick's side.

"Nick, are you okay?" she asked, her voice trembling with worry as she knelt beside him on the couch.

Nick groaned, his face pale and clammy as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I... I think I puked," he admitted, his voice thick with shame.

Y/N's heart went out to him, her own discomfort forgotten in the face of his distress. "It's okay," she reassured him, her voice soft and soothing. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Together, they worked in silence, Y/N fetching cleaning supplies while Nick slumped against the cushions, his face drawn with exhaustion and embarrassment. And as they scrubbed away the evidence of his indiscretion, a quiet understanding passed between them, unspoken but palpable.

"I'm sorry," Nick whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of running water. "I didn't mean to..."

Y/N placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, her touch a silent reassurance that he was not alone. "It's okay," she replied, her voice filled with compassion. "We all make mistakes. What's important is that you're okay."

As Y/N finished cleaning up the mess, she turned to Nick, her expression soft with concern. "Nick, do you want to take a shower?" she asked gently, her voice filled with compassion. "I can go grab you some fresh clothes while you clean up."

Nick nodded weakly, gratitude shining in his eyes as he met her gaze. "That... that would be great," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

With a reassuring smile, Y/N helped Nick to his feet and guided him towards the bathroom, her hand a steady anchor against his trembling frame. She couldn't help but feel a surge of sympathy for him, his vulnerability tugging at her heartstrings in a way she couldn't quite explain.

"Here, I'll go grab you some clothes," she said, her voice gentle as she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Just take your time in the shower, okay? I'll be right back."

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As Y/N slipped into Nick's dorm room, the air felt charged with anticipation, her heart pounding in her chest with a mixture of nerves and excitement. She had come here with a singular purpose—to retrieve some clothes for Nick—but as she stepped inside, her gaze fell upon something unexpected.

There, sitting on Nick's desk, was a small velvet box, its lid slightly ajar to reveal the glint of polished metal within. Curiosity piqued, Y/N approached the desk, her fingers trembling as she reached out to lift the lid.

And then, as she gazed upon the delicate piece of jewelry nestled within the box, her breath caught in her throat. It was a dahlia pendant, its petals crafted from shimmering silver and adorned with tiny sparkling diamonds. It was exquisite, a breathtaking work of art that seemed to shimmer and dance in the dim light of the room.

As Y/N's eyes fell upon the exquisite dahlia pendant nestled within the box, her breath caught in her throat. The pendant glimmered in the dim light of the room, its delicate petals crafted from shimmering silver and adorned with tiny sparkling diamonds. It was a breathtaking work of art, a testament to Nick's thoughtfulness and attention to detail.

But as quickly as her eyes had landed on the pendant, Y/N felt a pang of guilt wash over her. She had never intended to stumble upon such a personal and intimate gift, and the realization that she had inadvertently invaded Nick's privacy filled her with a sense of unease.

With trembling hands, Y/N carefully closed the lid of the box, her heart heavy with regret. She had no right to pry into Nick's personal affairs, no right to intrude upon the sanctity of his space. And as she turned to leave the room, her mind filled with conflicting emotions, she vowed to keep the discovery to herself, to respect Nick's privacy and his right to keep his secrets.

Y/N reentered the room, her heart still fluttering with the weight of what she had discovered, yet determined to maintain a facade of normalcy. "I got your clothes," she announced softly, holding out the bundle she had retrieved from Nick's closet.

Nick looked up, a grateful smile spreading across his face as he accepted the clothes from her outstretched hand. "Thanks, Y/N," he murmured, his voice hoarse with gratitude.

Y/N returned his smile, though her mind was still reeling from the unexpected turn of events. She couldn't help but steal a glance at the closed box on Nick's desk, the image of the dahlia pendant etched into her memory.

But she quickly pushed aside her curiosity, focusing instead on the task at hand—helping Nick get cleaned up and settled for the night. With practiced ease, she guided him towards the bathroom once more, offering him a reassuring smile as she left him to his privacy.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

As Y/N entered the living room, her steps cautious and tentative, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease gnawing at her insides. Nick was still there, slumbering peacefully on the couch, his features softened by the light of the morning sun.

With a heavy sigh, Y/N approached him, her heart aching with a mixture of concern and affection. She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for leaving him alone on the couch all night, but the events of the previous evening had left her emotionally drained and uncertain of how to proceed.

"Nick?" she murmured softly, reaching out to gently shake his shoulder. "Are you awake?"

Nick stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he blinked up at her in confusion. "Y/N?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. "What time is it?"

Y/N checked her phone, noting the time with a furrowed brow. "It's almost noon," she replied, her voice tinged with concern. "You've been asleep for hours."

Nick groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he sat up on the couch. "Sorry," he muttered, his voice sheepish. "I must have passed out."

Y/N shook her head, offering him a reassuring smile. "It's okay," she said, her tone gentle. "You needed the rest."

Nick nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Thanks, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with gratitude. "For everything."

Y/N returned his smile, her heart swelling with warmth at the sight of him. "Anytime, Nick," she replied, her voice soft. "Anytime."

As Nick rubbed the sleep from his eyes, Y/N couldn't help but notice the fatigue etched into his features. "You look exhausted," she remarked, her concern deepening. "Did you sleep okay?"

Nick nodded, though there was a hint of hesitation in his response. "Yeah, I guess so," he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "I just... I've been feeling a bit off lately."

Y/N's brow furrowed with worry as she took in Nick's weary demeanor. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Nick hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering away before meeting hers once more. "It's just... everything feels so overwhelming sometimes," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like I'm constantly struggling to keep up, to meet everyone's expectations. And... I don't know, I guess I'm just tired of pretending like I have it all together when I really don't."

Y/N's heart ached at the raw vulnerability in Nick's words, the weight of his struggles evident in every syllable. Without hesitation, she wrapped him in a comforting embrace, holding him close as if to shield him from the world's harsh realities.

"You don't have to pretend with me, Nick," she murmured, her voice soft with understanding. "You can be yourself, flaws and all. I'll still be here for you, no matter what."

Nick's shoulders sagged with relief as he leaned into her embrace, the weight of his burdens momentarily lifted in the warmth of her presence. "Thank you, Y/N," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Y/N held him tighter, her own heart swelling with affection for the man who had unwittingly stolen it.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

As Y/N made her way to the arena, her heart fluttered with a mixture of excitement and anticipation. It was the biggest game of the season—a chance for Nick and his teammates to prove themselves before the playoffs—and she was determined to be there to show her support.

The atmosphere inside the arena was electric, the air crackling with energy as the crowd roared with excitement. Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of pride as she watched Nick take to the ice, his determination evident in every stride.

As the game unfolded, Y/N found herself on the edge of her seat, her heart pounding in time with each pass and shot. The tension in the air was palpable, each moment filled with the promise of victory or the threat of defeat.

And then, in the final moments of the game, with the score tied and the clock ticking down, Nick seized his opportunity. With a burst of speed and skill, he maneuvered past the opposing defense, his stick connecting with the puck in a perfect shot that sailed past the goalie and into the back of the net.

The crowd erupted into cheers as the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game and a hard-fought victory for Nick and his teammates. Y/N couldn't contain her excitement as she joined in the celebration, her heart soaring with pride for the man she had come to care for so deeply.

As the players made their way off the ice, Y/N caught sight of Nick making his way towards her, a triumphant smile on his face. He pulled her into a tight embrace, his joy infectious as he spun her around in a whirl of excitement.

"We did it, Y/N," he exclaimed, his voice filled with elation. "We won!"

Y/N laughed, her own happiness bubbling over as she returned Nick's embrace. "I knew you could do it," she replied, her voice filled with pride. "I'm so proud of you, Nick."

Nick's smile widened at her words, his eyes shining with gratitude and affection. "Thanks, Y/N," he replied, his voice tinged with emotion. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at his words, her smile widening as she gazed up at him. There was a warmth in Nick's eyes, a tenderness that spoke volumes without him having to say a word. In that moment, she felt closer to him than ever before, their bond strengthened by the shared experience of victory and celebration.

As the crowd began to thin out and the arena emptied, Nick turned to Y/N with a serious expression, a hint of nervousness flickering in his eyes. "Y/N, there's something I want to talk to you about," he said, his voice low with intensity. "Something important."

Y/N's curiosity was piqued, her pulse quickening with anticipation. "What is it?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity.

Nick glanced around the nearly empty arena, his expression serious. "Can we talk after I get out of the locker room?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency. "It's... it's something I've been wanting to say for a while now."

Y/N nodded, a sense of excitement tingling in her veins. "Of course," she replied, her heart pounding with anticipation.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

As Y/N waited outside the locker room, her anticipation grew with each passing moment. She couldn't shake the feeling of nervous excitement that coursed through her veins, her heart pounding in her chest as she wondered what Nick wanted to tell her.

Finally, the door swung open, and Nick emerged from the locker room, his expression serious yet determined. Without a word, he gestured for Y/N to follow him, leading her to a quiet corner of the arena away from prying eyes and curious onlookers.

Once they were alone, Nick turned to face Y/N, his gaze searching hers with a mixture of apprehension and longing. "Y/N," he began, his voice soft but filled with emotion. "There's something I need to tell you. Something I should have said a long time ago."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the seriousness in Nick's tone, her pulse quickening with anticipation. "What is it?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Nick took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers as he spoke. "I love you, Y/N," he confessed, his voice raw with emotion. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember, and I can't imagine my life without you."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she took in Nick's words, her heart overflowing with emotion. She had waited so long to hear him say those three simple words, and now that he had, she felt like she was floating on air.

"Oh Nick," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "I love you too."

Without hesitation, she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace as she buried her face in his chest. In that moment, surrounded by the quiet of the empty arena and the warmth of Nick's embrace, Y/N felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be.

And then, as they stood there together in the quiet of the arena, Nick reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. With trembling hands, he opened it to reveal the dahlia pendant, its delicate petals gleaming in the dim light.

"I want you to have this," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "As a reminder of my love for you, and everything we've been through together."

Tears streamed down Y/N's cheeks as she reached out to take the pendant, her fingers trembling with emotion. "It's beautiful," she whispered, her voice filled with wonder.

Nick smiled, a tender expression on his face as he gently fastened the pendant around Y/N's neck. "Just like you," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

I got a little too carried away when writing this. oh well, who doesnt love moldy

[weenwrites]

Hi, can I get headcannons about optimus prime with a human reader,where the reader is struggling with the fact that optimus chose jack over them to guard the key to vector sigma.(optimus is the guardian of the reader and the reader blames mostly themselves for being too weak,stupid and regretting every past traumatic experience they shared with optimus.They dont blame jack or optimus.)The reader tries to hide it bcs they dont want to embarrass themselves(as they see it) any further in front of optimus or burden him,but the thoughts that everyone dislikes them creep up again and so they become distant very quiet/serious.(Actually the reader is super intelligent,like ralphs level of smart,but in every possible area of knowledge not just science with great advices for everyone and everything,basically so caring deep down that they see it as weakness and hate themselves for it)Optimus knows whats wrong (he saw the readers hurt expression when he gave the key to jack despite the reader thinking that they were not noticed) and takes them for a drive after a long time to confront the reader about it.I would like like it as long and angsty as possible.

✎A/N: I'm assuming you mean angsty as in this is written from the Reader's POV, and we see all the self-deprecating thoughts and then Optimus approaches them, but my writing focuses more on the character than the reader insert, so I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

It's difficult to hide your feelings from him. He's very perceptive, much more than you'd expect, and even if he doesn't pick it up from you directly, he can pick it up from the way the rest of the team positively speaks about you. It's like how a kid thinks they're keeping something under wraps, but the adult already knows everything about it.

As your friend, he readily offers any and all support he can give. Optimus attempts to console you by expressing that by no means are your past contributions considered "small", and for each and every one, the team is grateful. But your worth isn't determined by your ability to contribute to the team, he's sure to add, as the team also values you as a friend whom they can look to for comfort or advice whenever they need it most.

He urges you to not let your own pain blind you from the truth, and he keeps reminding you of all the times you've aided the team in one way or another with your sharp wit and emotional intelligence, such as how you helped to coordinate the effort to seize the space bridge.

Though you see traits such as kindness as weaknesses, he sees them as some of your greatest strengths. Your compassion can be a source of hope and comfort that the team was able to draw from during their darkest hours. It can be difficult to recognize the affect you have on everyone around you, but it's there and he's seen the evidence. Even if you don't see it, you've changed the team's lives and he's grateful for your unwavering kindness, even in the face of adversity.

But he understands that internal conflicts can be among the most difficult to overcome, and so he knows that his words aren't an instant remedy to your insecurities. Your own doubt and insecurity can make you blind to your own strengths and exaggerate your weaknesses, making it hard to accept or believe any remotely positive thing that someone says about you. But Optimus wouldn't lie, these things he's said to you are true and honest, yet it's most likely still difficult to accept them at face value. That's alright, he'll sit through it with you.

[urautismdiagnosis]

A Really Self Indulgent Sea Monster AU

the design is inconsistent because I drew them on different days lol

theres lore after my doodles

spider

we still love you <3

i feel the need to clarify that he's doing that snake thing where they stick out their tongue to sniff things, bro is not coming in for a smooch, he's trying to see if barnacles has more fish biscuits LMSO

"big kitty <3 he loves me and I love him<3"

"he brought me food so I have to stay"

alright so this au is basically "lol he talks about sea monsters all the time what if he WAS one?"

first off, what even IS he? well he's sorta a fire spirit with some inspiration from Japanese yokai! split tails and split ears in cats are representative of nekomata. I'm not really extremely well versed in Japanese yokai or their possible alternate stories, but from what I can tell nekomata are essentially older domestic cats that have a more sinister side and strange abilities that are often associated with death and manipulation? anyways side tangent over-

Time for weird *ss biology that doesn't make sense!

The fur is actually more like sharp quills

venomous biter, for the main mouth and the snakes

the fire on him isn't actually fire, it is energy and it is warm, but it shouldn't actually hurt you, if anything its more of an illusion

^^^ however if the fire makes contact with the venom it is... very explosive and can cause real actual fires that are very hard to put out

he scampers like a weasel or a marten on all his legs

like 14 feet tall at full strength

very bendy, great climber and jumper, very twisty, can also swim very well too

snakes have lil gills and the eye on his underside (under the first chest) is actually a false eye, its still sensitive to light, but it really acts as another source for breathing in the water lol (or spitting out venom at things trying to get his more soft and sensitive underside)

gonna be real he absolutely would eat a deer alive womp womp

6 eyes on the face, the two main ones function like normal, the two lower ones kinda work like a snake seeing heat and the two top ones are less "eyes" but more like electricity sensors lol

yes he's so over done and over detailed but he's not supposed to be a natural creature, he's supposed to be a giant freak and I love him with all my heart

also he has absolutely zero braincells like this

THE THREE SNAKES AYY!!!!:

Ok so, the snakes are essentially just his subconscious brought out,

Noodle: Survival and awareness, very serious always alert

Worm: Nuturing and seeking comfort/shiny things

Aepep: Has adhd

Noodle is more physically seperated from worm and aepep and has more length to move around. Each snake has one "eye". Noodle has the normal eyesight, while worm has the infrared and aepep can sense things the same way a hammerhead shark can. they can all sniff, only noodle can spit venom tho, but dont tell the others theyre not venomous or else that WILL hurt their feelings.

the snakes themselves can function independently with their own behaviours and even interact with eachother, however they're still part of the main entity.

Kwazii can choose to look through them (would have to close off all eyesight from his face though, it would take at least 10 minutes to get it back) or they can basically "tell him" because they are literally his subconscious. he cant "see" what they do when they tell him things, but its more of just an innate understanding? like closing your eyes and still being able to tell what you're touching with your hands ig

because he's so long and large he also uses the snakes for balance and as a way to prevent injuries. them being able to move on their own uses a lot less of his mental energy and helps him be able to prioritize his focus, which is important when u got SO many limbs

He also sees the vegimals as little kittens just thought I'd share that

anyways onto the ACTUAL AU

i havent really developed it all that much ngl, I just wanted to make a Feral Lil Guy

but essentially the idea is that kwazii got cursed a long time ago while treasure hunting and grabbing the wrong treasure or something (thats a lie, he was the treasure being hunted LMSO lil runaway babyyyyyyyyyyyy

(the idea is that essentially that there was some treasure or something that was more like a source of energy or whatever the hell, and if some forest animals went "damn people keep trying to get this rock so they can ruin our houses and nests>:( ooh! lets get rid of it by throwing it at the next person we see!" and then they kinda just threw it into a lil kitten kwaziis skull (who was out exploring alone when he shouldnt have been) and then it just... went straight through him and he just... fcking absorbed it....

lil guy didn't even know until some years later when "SHT went down" and oh nooooooooo another evil pirate clan against ur lone crew because they think u have some weird *ss treasure y'all haven't even heard offff who could've foretoldddd... Oh noooooooooooo you discovered that you're a daemon in the worst way possible, talk about a crazy puberty transformation

all he remembers is a storm and that he's cursed and was the only one to make it out smh <:(

ill probably change the details later tho ngl but this is what I have for now LMSO

anyways he managed to seal it away, but it comes back out if he breaks the seal. how is the seal broken? why by stabbing right where the "eye" on the abdomen is, right below the rib cage! wonder how they'll find that out :)

Alot of this will probably change but this is what it is rn

If u couldn't tell by now he can't really talk like this, also the size and amount of limbs and etc is pretty dependent on how safe he feels?

So basically when the seal was undone it was just... releasing repressed emotions is what I'm now realizing

And also it kinda happened as a last resort kinds thing that was very dangerous...

I'll probably get into some of my ideas for that later on a reblog or seperate post,cuz my little "plot" for what happens isnt really that developed other than "omg he calms down when barnacles plays his accordian shttily 🥺" and "oh he brought them a dead deer like how irl cats bring mice after he realized that they weren't dangerous "

If yall have any ideas tho I am interested 🥰🥰 cuz I'm still developing the plot or whatever yk?

[starsandmoonsbelow]

Living HelPol: Day 7

Meet, Greet, Doubt?: Tarot Cards Pt. 2

Hope this helps someone feel more comfortable with their readings and getting confused sometimes because I think I just fumbled the first actual conversation with my deity and it’s PRETTY hard to top that.

I put the whole reading for anyone curious about the entire embarrassing scene but I just thought this was a great example of me being a dunce and being so nervous to talk to Ares that I convinced myself it wasn’t him. Sigh.

What deity?

Death; “Ending of a cycle” | Also one of the cards of Ares, so when I pulled it I couldn’t believe so much that I pulled TWO MORE CARDS and confused myself throughout this entire reading.

Queen of Wands; “Courage / Nurturing of action” | If the last one wasn’t enough to convince me I was talking to Ares THIS ONE SHOULD’VE BEEN but instead I went “queen of death? Courage? Athena?” When I knew damn well a queen card DOES NOT automatically mean girl deity.

10 of Swords; “Defeat / The peak of loss or crisis” | This is what I meant by I should’ve stopped because this confused me OUT MY MIND. I pulled this and went “loss and defeat? I dont think Ares would describe himself as a loser, but would Athena? No right?” But what god would?? I should’ve realized that the card meant (I think) that this god BRINGS defeat…as in theyre strong…AS IN THIS IS ARES AND I NEED TO STOP CONVINCING MYSELF OTHERWISE

If he wasn’t sick of me before, he is now.

What should I know about them?

(Reversed) 8 of Cups {Emotion}; “Trying one more time” | This one usually means walking away but I accidentally began reading the flipped definition after picking it up wrong and decided to keep it so yeah…I hope I haven’t ruined me chance if that is directed towards me /hj

Page of Wands {Action}; “New action” | Either in relation to the last one and he’s doing something new, or this has something to do with me trying something new. I’m more inclined to think the second because I really hope the internet is hard lying to me and he has more people working with him than I’ve been led to believe.

What can I do to strengthen our bond?

The Hierophant; “Tradition, institutions, but also self and general development?” | I’m realizing that I need to revisit my sources on this card because I don’t understand, but with the card definition itself makes me think that I should be looking for more ways to actually practice the religion and tributes to Ares. Also I’m realizing this might also have to do with me skipping my journaling these past two days so…uhm,,,

9 of Cups {Emotion}; “Emotional fulfillment” | I pulled another card because the last one I didn’t know how to interpret but this one was also confusing because some sort of emotional fulfillment is what I’m trying to achieve.

10 of Cups; ”Divine love / Happy ending” | I think this was just an emphasis on the last card which is… ;-; I’ll figure it out.

What do they wish for me to know?

Ace of Swords; “Mental clarity / New action or conflict” | Thanks, Ares.

Future relationship?

Temperance; “Balance / Harmony” | I hope so too.

What’s holding me back?

The Tower; “Chaos / Sudden change” | You know what? Yeah…this is all new for me and I’m having a hard time accepting it

The Devil; “Temptation / Attachment” | After pulling this card I realized that out of ANY of my questions I only pulled “bad” cards when I asked a negative question. Which also sent me for a loop because what are the chances of that??

2 of Swords {Thoughts}; “Making difficult decisions” | Even my instinctive doubt can’t make sense of how accurate and on the nose this part of the reading was. Like how…? But also this is so cool?

Am I making progress?

Knight of Wands; “Movement / Inspired action” | WHAT. ARE. THE. CHANCES. The KNIGHT of WANDS? The MOVEMENT of ACTION??? Basically meaning that yes, I am making good progress and I think it has something to do with me doing this reading and beginning to ask my own questions without a template at this point.

Should I focus on that instead today?

9 of Pentacles {Possession}; “Fulfillment / Self sufficiency” | “What does this mean? That I’ll benefit from finding out for myself? No, wait does it mean I should and will benefit greatly from it?…oh It says literally says yes on the card.”

Anyway really fun experience, here’s hoping that one day I get my Autism diagnosis and stop asking the same question 14 times when the answer is right there.

[pines4thetwin]

RE; https://www.tumblr.com/pines4thetwin/766541554302222336/dipstan-dipford-implied-with-a-hint-of-stancest?source=share

Saw this post and for some reason it spiked the thought in me of both Dipper AND Mabel doing this (I think because I saw a post with a similar premise but with Mabel? You might've written it I dunno...)

And so it kinda spiked like. What if Mabel and Dipper try and hide that they're doing that from each other, until one (or both) of them get so bottled up with their thoughts they just randomly blurt it out, and both of them have a moment of "oh em gee, you too???"

Idk where else that could go but it was a silly thought and I wanted to share with someone, so. Idk hope you like this!! Even if you don't it was nice to get it out of my head :)

Ahhhh your brain!!!

Idk why i didnt think of this!?!?

I did in fact make a similar post about mabel with her writing fanfiction about stancest, getting a crush on them and peeping on em. (idk if thats the one youre refering to)

But i love this idea, dipper and mabel both sneaking tryna catch a glimpse of the grunks together, running into each other *spiderman pointing meme* but not realizing why the other is sneaking around.

Mabels writing poly fanfic of her and the grunks and Dips got his journal where he's writing all his filthy lil thoughts, not quite outright fanfic.

I dont know what would cause it but i can totally see mabel being like "omg i love them so much. Need those old men to sandwhich me. I need to be between them right now." Maybe she's writing her fanfic and just starts fujoing out loud and dips like "huh?" But it doesnt quite click yet. He assumes she's talking about some fictional men from whatever fandom is her current hyperfixation cause why whould he assume she's talking about the grunks.

I can see mabel as being slightly more laid back when shes not fangirling to herself while writing her fics. She's capable of being normal around the stans. But dippers is actually going insane, bro is zoning out staring at either of the grunks, definitely almost slips more then once and blurts out his feelings to them. He's just struggling for real.

He'd be the one to burst and end up revealing his feelings with mabel being "oh em gee, me too!!!" He's going on a full rant talking about its not fair and theyre old and gross or at least stan is. And mabel definitely protests at that because how dare he... stan is wonderful and amazing but dipper keeps ranting, not paying attention.

"He shouldnt be hot. I shouldnt think theyre hot. Whats wrong with me. Its not fair. Why'd i have to go and fall in love with both of them" And mabel would politely wait for him to finish his rant but he just keeps going and going and mabel slowly starts to get fed up so she grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him till he shuts up.

"Dip-dop." She'd say slowly, as if talking to an idiot. "Me too."

Dipper would tilt his head, eyes studying her in confusion as if trying to figure her out. "You... too?"

And shed give him a look because he's definitely smart enough to put it together instead of standing there staring at her like she has two heads. He'd get it after a moment.

"Ohhhhh! You toooooo!..... You too?!?" And then they'd talk about it. Mabel ranting about how great stan is and how hot both the grunks are and how she wants to be sandwiched between them. She'd definitely be more open about it. Dipper is hesitant at first. Its clear that he's more comfortable talking about his feelings for ford then he is with his feelings for stan.

Mabel would share her poly fics with him and offer to write some with dipper as their third and at first dipper just wants him x ford fics but eventually he caves and asks her to write him all types of poly stuff for him and the grunks. (And even some of him x stan)

He even shows her his filth journal so she can incorporate some of his fantasies (dont imagine them drawing ship fanart together sharing a hiding spot. Adding to the pile like they're penpals passing notes back and forth)

(And if you like pinecest too)

Mabel eventually starting to write pinesot4 fics and being hesitant to share them with dipper at first cause yeah she has always had a teeny crush on her nerdy twin but he's never indicated reciprocating those feelings and yeah they both have crushes on/are in love with the grunkles but this is different. This is them.

But then he goes all red and hesitantly kisses her. And now theyre sneaking around just as much as the stans are. She convinces him to dress up Mystery Mystery for her (like he did in that one ep) and they sometimes take turns roleplaying as the stans for each other. (Imagine one dressed up, role playing stan and the other as ford at the same time. Mabel would make all the jokes about double twincest. Twincest² if you will.)

Theyre still lil peepers but now they talk to each other about the things they catch glimpses of. Stan and ford kissing, cuddling on the couch, the secret little convos they have. They defintely do the silent eye contact twin telepatgy thing when they happen to catch the stans groping eachother on the sly.

Sometimes they just lay up at night, cuddled together (dipper is forsure little spooning lol) and talking about their feelings. Them talking about how they love seeing their grunkles together just as much as they love the idea of being between them or of all of them being together. Just talking about how amazing it would be if the four of them could share their love and falling asleep with their hands intertwined, wishing for something just outta reach.

Okay imma stop this here. Sryyyy for yapping i just love them soo much!!!

Ending with a customary: "Sorry if this isnt what you asked for, its all i got."

[lil-vibes]

Hi! Sorry for notification spamming you but wanted to tell you that your TROD tags made me lol, I LOVE your art so much and I’m interested in your AU too. Anyway, love your blog!

P.S. maybe I missed it but you said somewhere that your Narinder was pretty messed up for a few years post revival. Could you give some more details on that? Did he try to hurt them? Who had to take care of him, the lamb? What’s been the downstream effects? Basically, how is this cat still messed up lol.

dont be! everytime i get a notification i go yuppiee!!! im glad you enjoy my art :DD

okay okay its prime yap time under the cut oof i love my fucked up cat sm

Lambert, mainly, took care of him! They made sure that every comfort he needed was provided and were worried out of their mind the entire time. Their disciples helped watch over Narinder when he was unconscious, just so he wouldn't bolt the moment he awoke, and Witness Allocer stitched some of his wound and prepared a special painkiller blend for him. (in my au the high priests, aka the mini bosses, and the witnesses were very close to the bishops! Allocer made the same painkillers for Shamura as well.)

Okay so obviously his wrists and ankles were pretty fucked up from being chained for a thousand years and he's got a lot of internal damage as well bc some of the chains went through him (og Stychu hc that I adopted bc it's so good). Also just general wounds from the final fight and the unfathomable pain of shrinking down from his godly form.

Upon being spared, he did attack them in a post battle adrenaline and hate fueled delirium, right on the indoctrination stone and not only broke his arm (bc he put too much weight on it), but probably gave himself a heavy concussions by slamming his head on said stone seconds after the break happened lmao. After waking up in,,, just a Haze of agony he tried to get up and run away bc he was scared that the lamb would just keep him existing in this special Purgatory and shattered his opposite calf so there's that as well. Unlucky tbh

He bleeds like,,, constantly. All of the time, for literal years on end. From his eyes mostly, but also nose and ears and he throws up ichor a lot in the beginning as well bc his body is adjusting rapidly to being smaller and there's just No Space for the ichor to go, other than out. He’s constantly exhausted and spends a lot of time sleeping, and is very frail physically, if snapping two bones by simply putting weight on them didn't make it obvious enough lol

All and all not a great shape to be in, but! His wounds aren't actually what caused him to be bedridden for so long. It was the fact that he no longer saw himself as a god while still being one and suffering injuries befitting of one!

His body/the Red Crown isn't healing him as much as it’s literally regenerating parts of itself while he suffers everything that comes with that, alongside being out of the Veil/Gateway for the first time in forever and emotionally dealing with the deaths of his acolytes and the supposed betrayal of the one he allowed himself to trust after his family. In fact, Narinder barely heals at all for a while bc he was just mentally stopping the process. And also unconscious for a lot of it.

The other big reason is that god hearts are a great power source, but his heart has been in Lambert's chest since Silk Cradle. So he is Struggling ™ but he’d actually rather die than take his heart back he’s a simp like that smh

After he inevitably breaks and he and Lambert finally talk, he gradually starts seeing himself as a person again and his healing process gets easier. He still has chronic pain for his joints but eventually everything else heals alright :3

On a side note, his siblings bleed excessively and are disoriented for the first couple of days but are ultimately fine within the week. They are kind of horrified to learn that their brother is STILL struggling with the side effects of his imprisonment

[arsenicosises]

things to do when u realize u feel shitty

so i have alexithymia (emotional blindness or challenges in recognizing, expressing, sourcing, and describing one's emotions) and i often dont realize why, whats causing me to feel that way, or even if its mental or physical shittiness. so here are things i try to do to reset.

so the first step is obviously realizing the feeling at first, is your brain making you feel bad about yourself? do you feel like theres no point in doing things? do you feel stuck? or has there been any drastic change in energy in a short time? these may look different for you, but learning to notice even something as small as do i feel Good or Bad, you dont need to get caught up in what specifically it is.

FIRST and foremost, medications. did you take your meds? vitamins? please do so if you can. if you've missed the time window that you are meant to or cant for another reason, no guilt please, its ok we all forget.

move! change locations. even if its just where you are sitting in bed from one side to the other and sit up if you can. i try to move to my desk chair. sometimes just sitting up can change the way you feel drastically.

this could also mean move as in take a walk around your room, stand up on your phone instead of laying down.

do a Task, or Activity. copy a journal spread from pinterst even if it takes like 3 hours. write some lists, make a bracelet, play a game. focus on something you like. very cliche advice i know but its great to allow yourself to do something you like.

get a snack/water. unfortunately hydration is important even tho its annoying. make it super cold, put some lemon or mint in there if you want. its all about making it a) more fun and b) different sensory experiences. if you are hungry go down a mental list of most to least effort meal and find what you can do (cook from sratch, add stuff to ramen, eat it plain, get a handful of nuts or fruits, etc)

open the curtains/blinds, let the outside in a bit. even if its dark out open them and look around and close again.

face feels gross? do some level of skincare, exfoliate your lips and put on some vasesline, brush and floss your teeth (love floss picks). if you have bangs wash them in the sink.

if weather + mental permits, go outside. even for 2 seconds to look at it

shower=full reset and rebirth. not a bath, a shower. let the water hit you and soak your hair. do as full of a shower as you can. use so much moisturizer (if you can) with a scent you love. sensory goodness is very helpful. this usually works for me to pull me out. often the reason why i feel shitty is actually just me not realizing my hair is dirty, or i need alone time, etc which is acheived by showering.

aligned with that, put on new clothes, either comfortable and lounge clothes that are good sensory, or you need a new fun outfit because you have been wearing the current one for too long and its irritating you in a way you dont notice.

clean something, same as the food go from most to least effort and find out what you can do. organize 1 drawer or your whole house. my go to is usually rearraging my bedside table top and drawer. because for me thats where i keep things like my journal, headphones, letters from friends, body butter, etc its a chance for me to help future me access this little self care station.

make your bed so you have a clean cozy place to lay and sit, unfortunately a made bed is more comfortable

in general, treat yourself like a littel guy, talk to yourself like a toddler even if it feels silly, the part of you that feels bad is basically a toddler throwing a tantrum tbh. silliness is often a precursor to feeling Good. these things feel so so hard but each time you do them despite feeling bad it will get easier i promise you, you will get good at what you practice so practice trying.

if all of these things seem too hard, or you cant do them, the main thing is thats ok too. and if you dont feel 100% better after doing these things, that is also ok. the truth is some days things will be hard and that is your body telling you to relax, or sleep, or that it just wants to have an off day. no day is wasted if you are still here to see it.

(a lot of these tasks can be made easier by doing prep when you are feeling Good, which is part of the reason why i made this list, but i might do another post on prep stuff. )

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/757046870112681984/httpswwwtumblrcomyouremyheaven75703907683788?source=share 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ohh my god really my college boys are so immature 😫😫 that's why they treat my freinds like this btw your 24 are you pursuing you master's or job really i am studying in college and intrested in vedic ans stuff but bruhh i hate my college boys they are just 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 we all need a responsible man just like him hope i find one can you tell what your experience in first relationship and firt time in ✨️it ( if you not comfortable don't tell just need some advice) AND FOR YOU I AM MANIFESTING THAT GUY AS YOUR HUSBAND

Cheek dapat dam dam chuu swaha ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ heaven giel get this guy as husband with more greatness 👏

😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺you're SOOOO SWEET, pura ka pura cutie pie <333

i graduated already and im just working at the moment. i dont really feel like studying further tbh lmao and im entering an industry where work exp matters more than degrees so✌🏻

and yes college boys will always be shitty, dont lose hope, after college you'll meet better guys!!! <3 and the thing is dudes under 25 are just little boys,, veryyyy few of them are mature and this guy is the rare exception

NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI

my first time was when i was 16-17 and the guy was 18 and a major asshole and he forced me to "date" him and then he r*ped me 🤡🤡🤡so i technically lost my virginity to r*pe but i dont want to think about that or consider that as my first time

i had my first "real" boyfriend in 12th grade and on Farewell day (its like the Indian version of Prom for all of you non-desis) he took me to his house and no one was home so we banged hehe<3333 he had a huge dick and it hurt and im pretty sure the whole thing did not fit lmao

i feel like a lot of virgins dont understand this but (and this also depends on the guy's penis size) penises dont often go all the way in when you're having sex for the first time!! and it takes a while for your punani to stretch comfortably and "take" d*ck. ALWAYS USE LUBE, the more lubricated you are down there, the easier it will be to take him in. your partner should be understanding and considerate of the fact that penetration is a physically painful experience initially and they should do whatever they can to make it less so.

that said, penetration SHOULD NOT HURT after the first few times, it SHOULD feel good. you dont have to be waxed bare down there or anything, obviously its nice to be groomed but its okay to have a little hair (or a full bush, thats up to you but i feel like first impressions matter so i like to keep it trimmed hehe, ik a lot of feminists are going to be like 😠😠no i wont shave for a man😠😠 but honestly he's shaving his balls for me and id feel a bit awkward if he was veryyy hairy down there so i get it and dont mind grooming in return<33)

sex should be enjoyable for both parties??? and remember real life is not porn!! he's not going to last for 6 hours and neither do you want him to because being pounded into for more than like 10 mins is annoying tbh and you'd just wish he'd come asap ,,, remember that sex is like physical exercise so u get tired after a while,, the whole "fuck all night" stuff is rare and mostly happens in movies lmao,, as long as you have time with them, you can go multiple rounds but feeling tired is real asf

ALWAYS USE PROTECTION, they might try to pull the "my dick is too big for these local condoms/it doesnt feel good with condoms" etc excuses BUT TRUST ME THOSE ARE LIES,, just USE PROTECTION

in india, we have something called an "i-pill" (morning after pill for non desis) and its less than 100 bucks at the medical store. no one will ask you anything for getting it, they usually dont care so dont hesitate!!! its better if the guy can get it for you and if your guy wont even buy you an i-pill then should you even be having sex with him????

there are side effects to taking the i-pill, your period may be late/have heavy flow/irregular bleeding, or you can experience nausea/dizziness etc after taking it. thankfully i have no symptoms and it feels normal ish but exercise CAUTION!!!

put a pillow under your back when you have sex, it helps make it hurt less!! bc your back is supported.

always clean up after you have sex!! go take a shower, gargle your mouth, make sure you dont have any of his cum near your kitty because semen will find its way inside you in mysterious ways 💀💀

STAY SAFE, HAVE FUN <333

AYYYYY 😭😭😭idk about husband stuff yet but I do hope my future husband is just as attentive, caring, considerate, loving, warm and kind as him

but u are soooo sweet MWAH MWAH

love,

Heaven

[lakka-arts]

HI heres a list of really great mcsm artists (personal recs)

mainly made for my friend @glitxhy-b0yy!!! :D who is a FANTASTIC artist themselves and has some great content on there!!

also partially as a self indulgent post to compliment my friends so lets go!! (yes this does mean that my opinions are going to be bias asf dont come for me--)

this is not a COMPLETE list but its just the artists that i can come up with off the top of my head-- might add more later!

polarized-here

polar's artworks is what i like to describe as comforting as it consists of neat lineart and cell shading with glowing effects! they're probably most commonly known for their admin!jesse au, which is a fucking BADASS au with the coolest concept artwork that i've seen?? like hands down, stunning with a stunning execution of it. polar's artwork are like,,, holy shit man. they're such a cool person :)

terracomets

rusty is a phenomenal artist AND writer who has an au series that i cannot recommend enough called Misfit Mania!! He has a BUNCH of great character designs, including ocs and other medias too! i consider him a jack of all trades bc no matter what fandom, no matter what kind of character it is, rusty always succeeds at great portrayal of them :DD his fav character is axel and as a result, he's got a bunch of fantastic axel artwork on his blog!! :)

mcs-art-etc/lukasdoodles

lukasdoodles has genuinely one of the most unique art styles that i have ever that is both adorable AND menacing /pos at times. their artwork consists of colorful lineart, and INSANELY detailed clothings, like oh my god. they're also INSANELY creative when it comes to it as well, putting in so many ruffles, and belts, and!!! so much more!! not only that but they have a bunch of blaze rods drawings on their blog!! including gill, who i think is one of the underrated characters in mcsm! they also do some animation every now and then, which is always so cool to see!!

zonerz

zonerz is one of those dual part artist and dual part writers with their great artwork and writing! they're really good at putting together lore and is super in-depth when it comes down to the nitty gritty! their armor drawings are really well done and i admire the attention to details with every single one of their drawings!!

zoomire

fel is one of the coolest fucking people i have ever met and #1 cassie rose fan. their artstyle reminds me of traditional paintings that you would find in a museum, like it is so refined and their character anatomy is ON POINT with how they draw muscles and scars so realistically. their aiden design is also one of the most dazzling to me bc of how they incorporate lightning into his scars. ALSO a huge aidrose fan if not THE president of the goddamn ship. they have so many character analysis on them both together and separately and they're always written SO WELL WITH SO MUCH RESPECT TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

a lost crow

crow has a bunch of fantastic mcsm content but one of their most fascinating ones is their command!lukas au, which has a whole story to go alongside it but i won't spoil it ;) and their individual jesse au where every single jesse has their own personality traits and they're so unique and well written!! absolutely love both au to bits!

acraftedmistake

acraftedmistake's art is unique in the sense that it is purely traditional and takes great advantage of paper texture as well as textures from markers and pens to make its presence known! to add to that, they do a bunch of mcsm work themed around horror! i do need to put a warning that they sometimes involve gore though it is very artistically done!! phenomenal artist!!

zhezhy

Zhenya has enough content to the point where i can make an entire POST this long to talk about her and the absolutely stunning drawings she makes about mcsm, particularly about the old order of the stone. she excels at drawing ivor, harper, and soren the most, though she has dwelved into other characters that haven't had the most light shed on them. my absolute favorite thing about her artwork is her artstyle because it is this GORGEOUS sketchy style where both the colors and the lines express themselves SO WELL and SO EFFECTIVELY! i can go raving mad about it honestly

offeathersandcube/novatheastropirate

Nova's artwork, i would like to define it, is filled with love and care. Her lineart and coloring patterns are colorful and light, as if they were drawn for the illustration for a book series, filled with so much delight. Nova's specialty is how she both writes and draws Ellegaard with so much appreciation for her character and through her portrayal of her. It's nothing short of dedication and heart. Nova's other works are also great as well and they do a lot to show Nova's artistic talent.

[reverieaudios]

ALTAIR WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I CATCH YOU ALTAIR. WHEN I CATCH YOU—

UGGHH im so excited and terrified to see what happens next!! also love that we got confirmed shifter Honey (them being a coyote threw me off tho lol) and BUG??? BEING ATTUNED???? THE PLOT TWIST NO ONE SAW COMING????? oh poor Gage...

what the hell is happening to Sweets and Dove. are they okay. please dont tell me they die. theyre my comfort characters (they do not have voices and live purely in my head)

from what it looks like, whatever happened is something magic related, and its maybe amplifying everyone's magic to the point where it's debilitating?? hence why the shifters are stuck in animal form, Sweets and Dove are going through it, Law and Cyril and Bug(?) are also going through it but less.. also what was up with Casey being awake, despite not being attuned?? bc Gage and the rest of the passengers were knocked out, and the only reason Gage woke up is bc Law healed him. hm. hm hm. i think i can see where this is going.

sorry to flood your inbox like this but GOD i just need to yap abt this rq 😭😭

great work as always, and hope the surgery + your recovery goes well!! :D <3

Lol I did say things were gonna happen in this one, and I greatly enjoy being a source of chaos for you all

And thanks!

[drdemonprince]

hi devon! love your work so much and also just rly want to take an edible with you and shoot the shit but my actual question is as an autistic person who was taught to orient around other peoples needs how can i re train that laser focus to kind of hone what i need/like/desire? i feel really lost and spend so much time thinking about what other people may like or want i have no idea what i want even at 29

oh my goodness, my entire next book on Autism is all for people like you! I believe that part of unmasking requires that we learn how to disengage from the opinions of others, widen our distress tolerance, get more acclimated to the possibility of change, learn how to initiate the activities we like more, and just generally get more in touch with our bodies and our desires. this is a lot of work but it's all in the realm of skills that can be practiced... which is why i'm currently trying to sell a book that is entirely research, examples, and exercises around these things. i will also be publishing lots of small tastes of this work pretty regularly on my substack in the next few months.

in the meantime, i would encourage you to start reallllly really small, by taking greater notice of what you don't like. and i mean really start out with miniscule declarations of negative feeling. "i dont like this song, can we change the channel on the radio?" "i dont want to eat at the olive garden actually" "im cold, can you turn up the heat or tell me where the blankets are?" "this bar is too loud, i'm going to have to leave." REALLY small stuff. even stuff of that scale probably feels TERRIFYING. start with these things, and ride out the initial discomfort or embarrassment that arises when stating a need or preference.

you'll notice that each of these "no's" is actually getting you closer to figuring out what you want as well. you're saying you dislike something, or that you are uncomfortable -- but you're also practicing articulating a thing that you actively do want, whether that's a blanket, a more comfortable place to spend the evening, or something better to listen to or to watch. it's hard to ask oneself massive existential questions about who you truly are and what you want out of life. but asking yourself if anything small in your immediate environment is uncomfortable is far easier.

the great thing about this method is that you can practice it all the time. any time you're in a new space or situation, just take a moment to ask yourself: what would i change? the goal is to always find something you could advocate or ask for. this flips the masked autistic instinct to never ask for anything until you're in absolute agony completely on its head. you are LOOKING for things to request, LOOKING for sources of mild discomfort to voice -- and youll get better and better at noticing what you like and what you dislike the more that you do this.

with time, you will be able to articulate far greater wants. i dont want to spend my weekend at my grandmother's house. i dont want to live in an apartment with someone who is constantly criticizing me. i want to live by the water. i want a job where i can control the temperature of my workspace at all times. i want dogs. i want to be able to go running in the morning. i want a bathtub. i want to paint and listen to music. i dont want to marry this person. and so on!

this is a massive oversimplification, but there you go. a little bump of the full supply that hopefully will hit bookshelves early 2025 if i play my cards right

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

I'll Look After You - Part 3 Bucky x Y/N

I feel like I'm slowly getting the hang of actually making posts on tumblr. I'm still not great but bare with me. I'm still utterly obsessed with John 'Bucky' Egan and since I'm running out of fics to read I feel I need to make my own. Part 2 kinda got away from me but I think I have a bit more of a clear direction for this now. This includes jealous! Bucky. Enjoy:

When Bucky awoke the next morning, he was dissapointed Y/N was not by his side. He had hoped he would get to see her beautiful face again when he woke up. But the chair was empty and the book left on the bedside table. She must have left once I fell asleep he tought to himself. And who could blame her? That chair hardly looked comfortable. I wonder is she working again today? Maybe she will come by again soon. He looked to the book on the table. The hairpin stuck between the pages told him there was still a few more chapters left to read. His chest swelled with hope. She might come back again tonight. Bucky thought about relaxing into the small hospital bed and being comforted by her beautiful voice once more. As he imagined that gorgeous voice, he heard it from a short distance away. Almost as if he had magically made her appear. He couldnt see her, thanks to that godforsaken curtain; but it was her. He heard her melodic laugh. Who is she talking to? Whats so funny? Bucky couldn't help it. Suddenly he felt.. jealous. Why on earth would he feel jealous? Because he wanted to be the once to make her laugh. Thats why. But Bucky did his best to quell those jealous thoughts. She was probably just talking to one of the other nurses.

'I couldnt help it, I just started spewing everywhere!' It was awful.' Bucky knew that voice. That was not a nurses voice. 'Oh Major Crosby, why on earth did you become a flight navigator if you suffered from air sickness!' She said in between giggles. Crosby. Crosby was making her laugh. Well at least she was laughing at him. 'I didnt know I suffered from it till I was already in the air! You gotta help me Y/N, I need more of the stuff the doc gave me but he's not back till Monday!' 'Okay, okay, here you go.' 'Thanks Y/N I really appreciate it.' 'No problem Major.' Bucky heard footsteps, then Croz's voice again. 'Y/N?' 'Yes Major?' 'Please, call me Harry. I was just wondering if I could pay you back, for the pills?' 'Oh theres no need Harry.' 'I know, but I want to thank you properly. Are you working tonight?' 'No, thankfully for the first night in what feels like weeks I'm off for the night.' Bucky's heart sank at this news. There goes his plans of a lovely nights sleep. 'Oh great! Theres a dance on tonight in the main hall, are you going?' 'I hadn't thought about it, but I guess it would be fun!' 'Oh great, well I'll buy you a drink there, to thank you.' 'That's very kind Maj- Harry. I'll see you there.' 'Great! I'll see you there Y/N!'

Bucky's blood boiled. Croz was going to be at the dance with Y/N. Croz couldnt even dance! She would have a terrible time with him. It should be Bucky buying her drinks and sweeping her off of her feet. Not Croz. Pukes-a-lot Croz. If only his ribs would hurry up and heal. Then he could go to the dance and show her a real good time. Bucky tested himself, trying to get out of bed. It was painful, but maybe managable? Just as his first socked foot hit the ground, the curtain swung open and there she was, Y/N.

She went to Bucky's cubile to find he was already getting to his feet. 'Haha! Great minds really do think alike! I was just about to get you for physical therapy.' Bucky looked at her like he was caught with his pants round his ankles. 'Physical therapy?' he questioned. He sat at the edge of his bed, one to look 'non-chalant' and two because he was afraid his legs would gave in from under him with the pain in his side. She smiled at him 'Yeah, didnt the doctors tell you? It's about time we get you up and moving Major! Cant expect you to be in the air if you cant even be on the ground. Come on.' She stepped close to him and held out her hands, waiting for him to take them. He stared. 'Come on, lets go for a walk.' He did want to, but he felt angry. How could she be so kind and nice and smile so beautifully at him when she had just agreed to a date with Crosby. He looked at her, eyes shining and smiling a smile that could probably wrap even Hitler himself around her finger. He gave in and put his hands in hers. It was electric. He never wanted to let go of her perfect, soft hands. He didnt think it was possible, but her smile grew even bigger. Maybe she feels it too. This connection between us. She stepped back, giving him room to stand. He towered over her. She looked up at him, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her. All her had to do was bend his neck a bit, tilt his head to the side slightly, and his lips would be on hers. But no, she was Crosbys girl. He was the one going to kiss her. His blood started boiling again at the thought. 'Lets get this over with.' He said with a scowl. The sooner this was over, the sooner he would hopefully be able to stop thinking about her. As if I could ever think of anything but her. He thought. Her smile faltered, not expecting him to be anything other than his charming self.

They made it to the hallway, their steps slow and steady so not to hurt Bucky too much. Y/N tried to be encouraging, often praising him at how well he was doing. But Bucky barely responded. Eventually, she decided the silence was too much. 'Whats your favourite type of cake?' she asked. 'What?' he looked at her confused. 'Cake! Mines chocolate. I absolutely love chocolate cake. Whats your favourite?' 'I don't have a favourite type of cake.' he said. 'You like them all then huh? That's fair. If I'm honest I like all kinds of cake. Except carrot. Carrot and cake should not mix. Everything else is great -' 'I really don't care for or about cake!' Bucky snapped. As soon as he said the words he regretted it. Her bright smile vanished, and she physically recoil from him. She put as much distance between them as she could. Deciding she no longer needed to hold his hands. He immediatly missed the warmth of her hands in his. Longed to grab them back and never let tem go. 'I think you're okay with walking. Turn around back to your bed. I'll be behind you if you need me.' Bucky didnt know what to say, so he just turned around and slowly walked back to his bed. She was right on his heels though, being a good nurse and making sure nothing happened to him. He could sense her hand hovering over his shoulder, ready to catch him if he faltered. She never said a word though. Bucky wanted to break the awkward silence, but how? He had no idea what to say. She helped him back to bed and made a quick exit. 'Anoher nurse will be around later for evening rounds. I'm done for the day.' Without another word she walked off. Bucky cursed himself. He was a dick to her even though she was always kind to him. He would be pushing her even further into Crosby's arms now.

The day turned into evening, the evening into night. Everyone else in the infrimary was asleep, but not Bucky. He didnt know what was keeping him from slumber; the thought of nightmares or the thought of her and Crosby at the dance. Y/N and Croz at that dance is my worst nightmare. Bucky realised. What if they're dancing? He's a terrible dancer. I would be far better at dancing with her. What if they're slow dancing. What if he holds her a little too closely? What if he kisses her? Bucky tried to stop his racing mind before he had a stroke. He looked at the book again. Exactly where she left it. He didnt even want to read it. He knew the story word-for-word by now. He just wanted to hear her read it. That wasnt going to be happening tonight.

Y/N was enjoying the dance. The music was great, and everyone was in good spirits celebrating someones 25th mission. Harry was ever the gentlemen, buying her a drink and making sure she was okay. She liked Harry. He was kind, funny and charming, dispite his issues with air sickness that everyone cruely made fun of him for. She sat at a table with some of the other nurses and a few soldiers. 'Would you like another drink?' Harry asked her, noticing her empty glass. 'Oh I'm fine, thank you Harry.' 'How about a dance?' his hopeful smile was too much for her. 'I'd love to.' They made their way to the dance floor, a lively jazz song being played by the band. Harry wasnt the best dancer, but he had fun and made her have fun too, which was the most important part.

After their dance, Y/N needed to catch her breath. It was then she looked up at the clock and saw the time. 'I didnt realise it was so late! I better get going.' 'I'll walk you home.' Harry said, holding out his elbow to her. 'Oh thats very kind Harry, but theres no need. I'm going to head to the infirmary to check on some patients before I go to bed. You stay with they guys and enjoy the party.' 'Are you sure?' Y/N could sense some dissapointment in his tone, but chose to ignore it with a warm smile. 'I'm sure. Enjoy yourself.' She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and headed for the door. JUst as she was about to leave, she remembered she was meant to grab something...

At midnight he was still awake. He knew the party would be ending soon. He thought of Crosby walking Y/N home. Ever the gent. What if he tried to kiss her? would she accept his kiss? He hoped not. What if she did? He couldnt help picture Harry Crosby with his hands on Y/N, kissing. Hands moving to places he would sell his soul to touch. He was fit to scream. He couldnt hack it. Just when he was about to bang his head against the wall to rid himself of the terrifying mental images, he heard a voice. 'I'm not too late am I?' I'm hallucinating, Bucky thought. The pain meds must be very strong tonight. Y/N stood at the foot of his bed. Wearing a beautiful red dress, hair in flowing waves. Red lipstick he would love to smudge. 'What are you doing here? Weren't you at the dance?' She smiled, 'I was, but when it was almost over I thought I'd come check on you. Not that you deserve it. You were very cranky earlier.' 'I'm sorry Y/N I-' she cut him off 'There's no need to appologise. Physical therapy can be very difficult. Your body has been through a lot it's okay if it takes time to recover.' She was a literal angel. After how poorly he treated her, she still showed him so much empathy. More than he deserved. Even after her date with Croz, here she was checking in on him. 'Thank you. There's no need to check on me though. I'm fine. You should head back.' She moved closer while pulling a paper bag from behind her back. 'The dance is over now. Besides, I think theres about two chapters of Great Gatsby left. I brought some treats for us to eat while we read it.' She pulled out two small pieces of cake from the bag, white frosting on each piece with jam in the middle. 'You wouldn't tell me what kind of cake you liked, turns out it didnt matter because by the time I got to it this was all that was left anyway.' Cake? She had brought him cake? She was at the dance, with another man, and she thought about bringing him cake in the middle of the night? Bucky almost cried. 'You didn't have to do that, thank you. That's very kind.' She looked at the chair next to his bed. Her back already hurt before she even sat on it. 'Do you mind moving over a little? That chair is horrendous.'

Bucky was sure he heard her wrong. She wanted to sit in the bed with him? He stuttered out a response as he slowly moved as much as he could in the small bed. 'Sure, be my guest.' She sat beside him with her back againt the headboard. The sides of their bodies touching from their shoulders to their ankles. If Bucky's heart wasnt racing before, it was now. She handed him his piece of cake and picked up the book. 'It was when curiosity about Gatsby was at its highest that the lights in his house failed to go on one Saturday night....' She read to him, occasionally taking a break to bite into her cake. They sat like that, eating and reading, with Bucky never taking his eyes off of her beautiful face. Slowly, his tired eyes fluttered closed. He dreamed of cake, Gatsby's mansion, and her.

[objecthusbandry]

keeping objects as pets #4: fruits!

hi there! in this series, i’ll be going over basic descriptions of commonly-kept object species (and some rare ones too!), facts about them, why you might want one as a pet, their basic needs and necessities provided you want to house one, and things you should NEVER do. for the fourth post in this series, we'll be going over fruits, berries, melons, gourds and similar species!

description

as with the plants they mimic, these creatures are wildly diverse and come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors. their limbs are furless and leathery, with tough skin. each hand has five fingers with opposable thumbs and each foot has four toes. they don't have claws. they're adapted to be primarily arboreal, living high in trees in the wild; they rarely leave forests and don't feel comfortable without leaf cover. their teeth are flat for grinding plant matter, and aren't known to bite (fortunately for the anons i keep getting).

facts about fruits

just like with their objects, the terminology for these can be... confusing, to say the least. tomatoes are fruits, by the way! they live off of plants in the wild, always near sources of water, such as ponds, lakes or streams. they tend to stick with other members of the same object species, but finding a bushel of varying fruits together isn't unheard of. they're a very physically active species, typically - they love to run and play whenever they're not sleeping, which they do a lot. these guys LOVE to sleep - when they're not climbing or playing, they're almost always curled up for a nap.

why as a pet?

fruits are absolutely amazing to watch! their high levels of activity make it a delight to see them in action. they're intelligent and happy-go-lucky most of the time*, which makes them great for people who are just as active as they are. they're great for organic weed control, too, since they can just eat them. unfortunately, they can contract most diseases that plants can, which can cause sickness and death if not treated properly. always get your objects vaccinated!

basic needs + do’s and dont’s

fortunately for people who don't like insects, these are strictly herbivorous animals and they need a steady diet of vegetables and lots, i mean LOTS of water. they HAVE to have an available water source at all times or they will dehydrate! they also need a lot of sunlight, which is why i only recommend them as an outdoor pet.

housing

these objects need a lot of outdoor space. they will not be content to be indoor pets. since they're natural climbers, you'll need a large fenced-in area with an enclosed top to prevent them from leaving. for indoors, fruits can and will climb anything that they can, so you should be careful to move any fragile objects that they could potentially knock over. their preferred places to sleep are in enclosed pet beds, so make sure to have one handy!

*depression

this species group is unfortunately prone to depression when their needs aren't met. we aren't fully sure what causes this, but it's important to note for anyone who is considering one of these as a pet.

that’s all! hopefully this helps educate anyone who is considering this species!

[charmedreincarnation]

https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/716304528371236864/httpswwwtumblrcomcharmedreincarnation7161223?source=share

Hii its me

I copied my ask earlier. Although I am feeling slightly better and confident I would really do with your help 🥺

I so badly want to have my desires yet when it comes to doing the work I get lazy because I am scared the same thing is going to happen all over again. I will do great and then some negative thoughts that dont even make sense will ruin everything. I want to tap in the void state but I have ao many irrational fears piled up. As soon as I put my focus away from the void these fears make zero sense but as soon as I start to work in my void concept these fears become so real and annoying tht at this point am scared to even start working on my void concept because I only get false hope and exhaustion when I try to work towards my goals. I thought I will manifest my desires my jan but it passed then I thought it will be by feb but now even april is over. Its been four long years like this. I came to know about the void in dec 2022 and I thought I will tap in but I feel like the exception. My self concept is trash I go to work on it but fail miserably because every single thing tells me the opposite even if 3d is just a reflection its hard. I thought I will tap in the void and change my sc but even the void feels far far away. I wanted to get in the void in jan and I feel stuck. Everyone is making great progress but me. I will be 19 soon. I feel like a failure. I hate to live like this. Maya please guide me and help me please. I see so many people deciding that they will taap in tonight and they do or people simply affirming and getting in even some people with bad voidconcept. I really need help and guidance. My appearance, mental health , studies ,body, social life everything has degraded so badly I cant eben express the pain.

I understand that you are feeling frustrated and scared about your manifesting journey. Remember, Assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled and observe the route that your attention follows. This means that by focusing on the end result and experiencing the feeling of having already achieved it, you will naturally be guided towards your desired outcome.

Do not let fear and negative thoughts hold you back from your desires. "You are the operant power,babe, you have the power to change your reality through your thoughts and beliefs.

"Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live." The key is to focus on the version of yourself that has already manifested your desires, and live as if that reality is already yours.Do not compare yourself to others or their progress. Your own wonderful human imagination is the actual creative power of God within you. Trust in your imagination and your ability to manifest your desires, regardless of what others may or may not be doing.

I promise, you are never too old or late to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Your age nor date does not define your ability to manifest your desires, and it's never too late to start working towards them.Be kind to yourself, practice self-love, and believe in yourself and your ability to manifest your desires. Assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled, and feel grateful for the desire already being fulfilled. Thank yourself for already granting your desire, and trust in the process.

As for your 3D I understand how hard it is. But again, "You are the operant power." No matter what your 3D reality may seem like, you have the power to change it through your thoughts and beliefs. Focus on your desires as if they have already been fulfilled, and live from that state of being.

As Edward Art said, "Great things never came from comfort zones." Push yourself out of your comfort zone and imagine the reality you truly desire, despite any limitations in your current 3D reality. Visualize your desires and hold onto the feeling as if they have already been fulfilled. "The more we practice, the easier it gets, and the more expansive our lives become."

As Edward Art also said, "Action is the physical manifestation of thought." Take inspired action towards your desires, no matter how small the steps may be. You can start with not being so harsh to yourself. Your imagination will reflect regardless but don’t be kind to person you are now just because you’ll love the person you’ll be in the future

You can Believe you can and you're halfway there already, so just accept it’s yours and that’s all. Believe in yourself, trust in yourself and ability, and let go of any limiting beliefs or doubts. You have the power to manifest your desires, no matter what your current 3D reality may look like I promise.

This is the last ask I’m answering until I return, but I really hope to see more success stories :)! We all deserve our dreams lives and ily all so much,including you anon 🫶