#they are R2 and 3PO only done right

[penig]

The caring is also why Gabriel and Beelzebub are allowed to bugger off to Alpha Centauri but Metatron deliberately splits up Crowley and Aziraphale. (Anybody who believes that "Crowley can come too" was sincere needs their head examined; he offered it in the firm expectation of being able to renege on it.) Having given up on the Great Plan and their own power, Gabriel and Beelzebub have given up on Earth as well as Heaven and Hell. They won't do any more to prevent the Second Coming or Armageddon2: This Time It's Personal than they will to bring it about. Morally they are null. They cancel each other out.

Crowley and Aziraphale, on the other hand, look to him like loose cannons rolling unsecured around the decks of the universe, crushing probability beneath their wheels. Together they are unpredictable, uncontrollable, quite possibly unstoppable; and capable of generating a 25 Lazarii miracle when they're trying to be sneaky. Rather than canceling each other out, they increase each other exponentially. From Metatron's point of view, they completely unbalance the game and must be removed from the board.

What Metatron, presumably, does not understand, anymore than Gabriel and Beelzebub understood when they stood there and watched it happen, was that Crowley and Aziraphale, powerful as they seem together, did not stop Armageddon. It was a joint effort involving eight and a half human entities and two and a half supernatural ones (counting Adam into both categories), with the bulk of the heavy lifting devolving onto the humans and the definitive action taken by Adam, who won by abdicating his supernatural power. All Aziraphale and Crowley contributed was a pep talk and some logic-chopping. (Oh, and lots of drama, and a little nudging of humans into the right place at the right time.) Their good faith attempts to interfere directly were foiled by humans making their own choices and mistakes. But at Aziraphale's attempted execution Gabriel tells his prisoner "With one act you averted the War," which we in the audience, and the Husbands, know is nonsense. Presumably Hell is similarly deluded.

I don't know how the sequel Gaiman and Pratchett planned pans out. But I would bet money that the Ineffable Husbands are, however great their emotional stakes and our own investment in them, will not be crucial to the resolution of the Second Coming, except insofar as they prove to be distractions from the real saviors or damners of Earth - humans.

Because Armageddon isn't a game. It's a card trick. And Crowley and Aziraphale are the misdirection.

No but like listen to me, the ENTIRE REASON that Gabriel could throw away everything he had for a happy ending with his demon love when Aziraphale couldn't is that Gabriel never actually cared. Abandoning heaven is easy if you don't believe in anything it stands for and were only ever in it for the power. But Aziraphale? Aziraphale is an idealist. Fundamentally, when he goes against the letter of heaven's law, it's because he believes that he's fulfilling a deeper obligation to heaven's true purpose.

Aziraphale's values and goals are good in the real sense of the word and not merely Good in the visible and performative way that most of heaven operates, but he still believes that heaven can and should epitomise that goodness. Conversely, Crowley (the one being Aziraphale has ever met who actually understands and shares Aziraphale's values) has given up on institutional salvation. He's seen both heaven and hell up close and knows they're functionally identical, except that heaven has nicer views. They want the same things, but they can't agree on how to get them.

Gabriel and Beelzebub don't have this conflict. Neither of them cared about anything enough to put it above their own self interest - it's just that their feelings for each other transformed that self interest into something softer, something that maybe grew into real empathy. This is why the path to their happy ending came easier for them, and Crowley and Aziraphale have to walk a more winding road.

[callipraxia]

Lying here at 7am, sneezing my head off because of ragweed, and I had a thought about the novelization of Revenge of the Sith.

Early in said novelization, there’s a retrospective on a couple of important moments in Anakin and Padme’s early marriage, specifically around how, since Anakin, as a Jedi trainee, doesn’t own things or have much ability to acquire them, which is an Issue when it comes to giving his new wife a wedding present…so he ‘gives’ her C-3PO, to be ‘a friend’ while he is, as he frequently is, absent, and there’s a sweet moment where Padme politely invites Threepio to join her staff, because on Naboo, droids as high-functioning as Threepio are considered beings, not property. Anakin also notes that technically, since his builder (Anakin himself) owns nothing, Threepio kind of owned himself even before this. Then later, she gives him R2-D2 as ‘a friend’ in return, at which point Anakin starts modifying him this way and that until Artoo eventually obtains at least as much cognitive function as Threepio, setting the stage for the bond the droids have throughout the series. All very nice…but then jump to the very end of the book, immediately after Padme dies and Bail Organa adopts Leia. Y’know. The moment when he casually orders that Threepio undergo a mind wipe to forget…pretty much everything. Who “the Maker” was, all about his years of service to Senator Amidala, where the Princess came from and the fact she has a brother, etc. Then cut forward about twenty years to the beginning of A New Hope, where Threepio fussily keeps scolding Artoo about how “Master Luke” is his owner now and he should therefore forget the mission from their previous owner. It never seems to occur to Threepio, after his years on Alderaan, that they could think for and own themselves, even though again, in the novelizations, Threepio has technically done so for longer than Artoo has; the only difference is that Artoo still remembers everything, whereas Threepio only remembers, at most, the past twenty years.

Clearly, droids did not enjoy the same legal privileges on Alderaan that they did on Novelization!Naboo…but why is that relevant? Threepio, recall, was said to have legal rights on Naboo as a member of Padme’s staff. At a stretch, since Anakin couldn’t technically own Artoo either, one could make an argument that Artoo was still legally Padme’s property and therefore automatically passed into the ownership of her daughter when Padme died*, since Anakin and Padme and Threepio seem to have been the only ones who realized at that time how sentient the astromech had become, but there was really no doubt about Threepio: if Stover’s writing in the official novelization is taken as on any level canonical, then Threepio, as a high-functioning droid, was an employee; certainly this is the case within the pages of the book in question, where he meets the same ends. Padme no more owned him than she owned Jar-Jar or the Handmaidens who acted as her body doubles or her other Senate aides...at least on Naboo and areas where its laws applied, like the embassy on Coruscant, I suppose. They were not in Naboo space at the time of Padme’s death, and apparently the idea that droids could be autonomous was culturally alien to Alderaanians…but we see in TCW that Bail had worked pretty closely with Padme for years. They were political allies, but also friends. They’d risked their lives together before - in the Committee of 2,000 conspiracy, in that episode of The Clone Wars where they investigated a murder together, and arguably, Padme had put her life in his hands without a second thought again on Empire Day when she made that “how liberty dies” remark in the midst of the rest of the Senate’s enthusiastic endorsement of Palpatine’s announcement. Padme also was shown to have a real Problem with the discovery that slavery still existed in the galaxy when she met Shmi and Anakin as a girl, and considering she later married an ex-slave who had…rather strong feelings about the subject, it’s hard to imagine that she didn’t get personally emotionally invested in the issue as well. Anti-slavery measures would have probably been part of her political platform, especially in that gap between Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones where there wasn’t a war that depended on slave soldiers to consider. It never, in all that time, came up with Bail? He never said, “It’s strange how you treat that protocol droid of yours - you act as though he were a person,” to which Padme could only reply that “by my planet’s laws, he is”? Padme never voiced any discomfort with the Alderaanian stance on high-functioning droids in all their years of working together? Why would her good friend not think twice about treating one of her staffers as his property before the poor woman’s corpse was even cold? Even if he disagreed, he ought to have at least had the thought “oh wow, I am disrespecting my friend’s memory here,” or even a hesitation about his legal right to give orders about Threepio’s memory, given that there would of necessity have to have been some interstellar agreement on whether Planet A’s laws about droids applied to droids from Planet A when they were on Planet B, especially if Planet B was neutral space like Coruscant, the place where Bail would have been most familiar with Threepio. I’m American and reasonably historically literate; American history was never my favorite branch of history, but I know all about the sort of trouble it causes when people don’t agree about whether laws from one state in a republic apply in another. See also: the American Civil War? And more recently, the issue of gay marriage, back when states determined that individually. Didn’t cause a war that time, but anyone who had the political awareness of a tree branch probably knew of the issue and, however dimly, probably something of why it was such an issue.

It’s now 9am, and yeah, yeah, I know, all this was necessary to protect the Chosen Twins because Threepio is a bit of an idiot, or it would have taken too much time/been too much at the tail end of a plot as dark as that of RotS to have a quick scene where Threepio agreed to become Bail’s property in order to stay with Leia, etc etc. But considering that Bail’s one of the good guys, it’s pretty messed up to realize how casually someone’s rights could just get hand waved away the moment they no longer had anyone politically powerful immediately on hand to defend them. It’s hard not to think…with his memory gone, Threepio doesn’t even know that he was supposed to have rights, and most humans cannot communicate fluently with Artoo. Bit disturbing to put oneself in that position, to wonder, as messy as the world’s getting…who’s the one person standing between us and having our rights almost as casually overwritten? Not quite as casually, I suppose, since mind wipes don’t exist for us (…yet…probably), but almost. Not something Lucas probably meant to put there, given that he didn’t write the official novelization and his apparent failure to think out the droid issue especially well**, but there’s where my brain’s going on this sneezy, sneezy morning.

* Note: this is totally ignoring the issue of whether this is moral and ethical or not. Also ignoring the issue of how that even stacks with the assiduous efforts to conceal that Padme’s child/children hadn’t died with her, in which case, being legally dead/never personified, it’s hard to consider them her legal heirs anyway.

** See also this video essay: https://youtu.be/WD2UrB7zepo?si=HcttHLpZFGnU5bNb

[ladystoneboobs]

i present: small and non-verbal but very funny star wars moments:

ep. V: the empire strikes back--the millenium falcon achieves hyperspeed again, despite the imperials' best plans to the contrary. admiral piett and his men are terrified of vader's reaction, all trying to stay out of his path. but he's still too busy brooding on his loss of luke to even force-choke anyone. that's how thrown off he was by his newly-mutilated son running away from him!

the sole exception to this collective terror being this guy, so intent on his own important work, that he doesn't even notice his scary boss until darth vader has walked right past him.

ep. III: revenge of the sith--padme's droids somehow getting her unconscious body back on her ship.

in the novelisation, r2-d2 just drags her up the ramp with his gadgetry, but in the script it's c-3po who carried her up bridal style. which would be impossible to film when 3po could barely manage to move around under his own weight. what makes it really funny for me is that there was no need for any of this. why not just have obi-wan pick her up as he's hurrying outta there after failing to kill her husband? i mean, it's surely not good to be lying out in the open on a volcanic world with poisonous gases, but it wouldn't be good for obi-wan running around out there either, and this lady was about to have broken heart as her only known cause of death. when has science ever held back star wars? and i can't imagine that being dragged by wires from artoo or dropped every few steps by threepio could've been too good for her body either. just makes for an absurd little (offscreen) background detail amid the tragedy of the end of padme's life, imho.

ep. IV: a new hope--obi-wan vanishing into thin air when struck down and vader's (very understandable) bafflement afterward.

by this point in the second screencap, luke is shooting at him in retaliation and the stormtroopers are all shooting back at luke, but anakin is still dealing with this unprecendented vanishing and busy searching for any corporeal remains of obi-wan kenobi with his boot. "where did you go, my old master? how could this happen? i wasn't done fighting with you yet."

ep. V: the empire strikes back--vader inviting lando calrissian, chewbacca, han solo, and princess leia to share a meal with him and boba fett, before taking chewie, han, and leia prisoner and torturing han.

i think a lot of people must assume there was no actual meal, but it's not like vader had to go to all that trouble in the first place of setting out an entire banquet table with proper containers and utensils. just because that was lando's pretext to bring them to vader does not necessitate actually having a table set. darth vader could have had them led into any other room with boba fett and stormtroopers waiting to just arrest them right away. instead, as we can see in the second screencap, (over lando's shoulder and leia's bun), vader did sit down at the head of the table, waiting for his prey to join him. and i swear, in one of the earlier drafts of empire's screenplay there is actually a scene showing their awkward meal together. or rather, han and leia being served food and drinks while darth vader just sits there, watching evilly, explaining his great villainous plan to use them to trap luke. it's like dr. evil making austin and vanessa sit down at his table in the first austin powers movie. darth vader really did always live for drama

ep. VI: return of the jedi--leia telling han that she loves luke, but not that way. he's her brother, silly! as if this is something they all knew all along, with zero follow-up explanation. you can just see han wordlessly processing this bombshell of brand new information through his facial expressions alone. (this lasts so long that i wouldn't even count it were it not likely overshadowed by everything else in the ending of rotj.)

wh-what did you say? your brother? since when?

wait-wait-wait. i've seen you mouth kissing luke right in front of me before. i'm so confused now.

just what kind of weirdo family have i gotten myself mixed up with here?

oh, well, she's only kissing me now. that's good enough, i guess. maybe?

hey, as long as you do love me and luke in different ways ...

i don't know much about families, but i've heard they all have their weird traditions. so who am i to judge you, babe? as long as we're together now, that's all that matters.

[veloursdor]

based on this au where anakin died in childbirth and obi-wan is left alone to raise the twins, but he can’t bear to be near them without breaking down because he misses anakin too much.

(578 words)

6 years had passed since Anakin gave his last breath and Obi-Wan had come to realise that people lied when they say ‘time heals all wounds’. His wounds were as fresh as the day when he had held Anakin in his arms as the twins were born, only to be ripped apart from his side when the healers tried their best to save his life.

In the end it had come to a decision between Leia’s life and Anakin’s, and Obi-Wan wasn’t proud of himself to admit that most days than not, he wondered if they had made the right choice after all. 

On good days, he could be there for the children for some time before the wound in his heart started bleeding and made it impossible for him to look at them, let alone spend time with them. However, on the bad days… He was grateful every day that Anakin had had the foresight to program C-3P0 and R2-D2 with everything child care related, in case he or Obi-Wan ever got overwhelmed with parenting and Jedi duties.

He was also grateful for the Jedi, who had stepped up on his worse days. When Obi-Wan struggled to exist or be the parent the twins needed, the Masters around him helped him out by feeding them, changing their diapers… They had stepped up in a way that made him tear up, hateful of the fact that Anakin would never witness the way their family had embraced their children.

As he covered himself up with Anakin’s robe – which had lost his scent months after his passing – the door of his room opened up, the sound of little feet tapping on his floor. He made himself smaller, gripping the robe closer to him.

“Dad?” a small high pitched voice asked, poking his side. “Dad, are you awake?”

“I think he’s sleeping, Leia,” another small voice murmured, sounding sad. “Master Mace says he needs to sleep.”

“It’s our birthday, Luke!” the first voice said, making Obi-Wan wince with its volume. “He never spends our birthdays with us!”

“He misses…”

“I want Dad with us on our birthday!” Leia’s voice exclaimed, making Obi-Wan flinch with the harshness of her voice. “He should be…”

“Leia, he’s gonna wake up and be mad!”

“I just want…”

“Oh, Masters Luke and Leia!” 3PO’s voice exclaimed from the door, startling the children, “what are you doing? You know your father needs his sleep!”

“*beep beep boop boop beep boop boop beep*”

“R2! You know this is a difficult time for Master Obi-Wan! Master Anakin…”

“Get them out of here, 3PO,” Obi-Wan said, his voice rough from all the crying he had done the night before. “Now.”

“Dad!” the children exclaimed at the same time, making him wince.

“Tomorrow,” he said, turning away from the children’s pleading eyes, pulling Anakin’s robe closer to him. “Tomorrow.”

“But… Dad…”

“Now, now, Master Leia, Master Luke, come along. Your father… your father needs his sleep.”

“But 3PO…”

“*boop boop beep beep beep boop*”

“You’re so very right, R2. Children… Senator Organa has brought you presents!”

As the children left his room, Obi-Wan made sure to lock the door with the Force, hoping it would let them know he needed a little time to himself. Tomorrow wouldn’t be a better day for Obi-Wan, as every day without Anakin proved to be more challenging than he’d ever believed. But tomorrow, tomorrow he’d look into whatever it was the children wanted from him.

[calledthezealot]

I started making a thread about this on Twitter but separating posts into tweets is a massive pain in the ass, so I think I'll dump my whole thoughts here.

The "Star Wars suburbs" in Skeleton Crew are terrible. Boring and uncreative.

I'll start by acknowledging there is absolutely a history of Star Wars being heavily influenced by other films and wearing these influences proudly. However, Star Wars ripping aesthetics from its influences 1:1 is a very modern development. It wasn't very common before the Disney buyout.

For example, let's go back to the beginning, Star Wars (1977). Luke Skywalker is clearly meant to be relatable to every kid who feels like they're too big for where they grew up, much like George Lucas himself felt as a kid growing up in dull suburban California. But does Luke grow up in "Space Modesto"?

No.

He's a moisture farmer in the desert, just like his uncle. This science fiction profession is not relatable at all to audiences, but we get it. It's boring, and Luke wants more for himself. That's all we need.

In fact, the alien nature of "moisture farming" ENHANCES the worldbuilding of the setting and helps us get immersed. We barely know what moisture farming is, but we still "get" it. We get what Luke's going through. The Star Wars galaxy is very different from our own, but basic tenets like wanting more out of life and wanting to make the world a better place still carry through. This is worldbuilding done right.

There's countless similar examples you can grab from the movies. The Rebels are based off the Viet Cong, but they hide out in Mayan temples. Han's a cowboy, but he's not wearing cowboy clothes. Every aesthetic choice is deliberate to make things feel "familiar, but not".

To contrast with Skeleton Crew, it's the opposite. How do we show that these kids are relatable to the audience? By having them grow up in American suburbia. That's it. Not even a palette swap. It's lazy, it's visually boring, and it's borderline insulting to the audience.

We know we don't need kids to grow up like this to relate to them.

Luke grew up as a water farmer in a desert.

Leia grew up as a princess.

Boba grew up as a clone of the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter!

So why did the creators of the show go this route? In their own words, they were influenced by 1980s family movies like E.T. and The Goonies, which is also used as the justification for why the suburbs look how they do.

"They're influenced by E.T., what else could they look like?"

Lazy.

As mentioned earlier, George Lucas (and others) took a lot of inspiration from a lot of different films. Take Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress, probably one of the largest singular influences on Star Wars.

The pitch is very similar: two Japanese peasants unwittingly fall into a quest alongside the company of a defeated general to rescue a princess in exile. Very similar to Star Wars, right? But that's not the entirety of it. Lucas even admits in the documentary series Light and Magic that The Hidden Fortress isn't even close to his favorite Kurosawa - he was primarily interested in the idea of telling a grand story from the perspective of the "lowest" characters in the setting (which would become R2 and 3PO). Star Wars is, at its heart, a mishmash of Lucas's (or another creator's!) myriad influences.

Flash Gordon. Dune. Akira Kurosawa. David Lean. Hot rod culture. WW2 serials. On and on and on.

On the surface it might sound like Star Wars is just The Hidden Fortress in space, but Lucas is inspired by so much, that even with a similar overarching plot, you can only just see the broad strokes.

What are the Skeleton Crew influences?

The Goonies? E.T.?

...Star Wars itself?

They get tasked with making a Star Wars coming-of-age story, and what do they come up with?

Goonies, but this time the bikes float.

Alright.

[sleepyandunmotivated]

Continuation of watching Star Wars with my non Star Wars friend, this time, episode 3, revenge of the sith

- “is Star Wars the first to do this paragraph thingy?”

- “so the War is still going?”

- “why’d they even make the clones from Jude?” I respond jango “yeah, jango”

- “oh no, they just decapitated him”

- “he’s got precision” hits obi wan’s ship on accident “oh never mind”

- she got real nervous for r2

- “if something happens to r2 then I’ll be angry”

- “a lot of these robots are smart, if they can think then isn’t it wrong to use them? So many have died and they probably didn’t want to die” she has a point

- “you’d think they would develop anti light saber technology”

- “Do it” (when Anakin is about to decapitate Dooku)

- she did change her mind though about killing Dooku

- “I think the chancellor is evil, I knew he was evil” yeah sure

- “how do they deal with air on the ships? Do they have oxygen tanks?” Valid question honestly

- “is Anakin wearing black mean he’s going to go evil?”

- “if I was evil, I would collect their light sabers too”

- “do they get unlimited light sabers or something? I feel like they throw them around a lot”

- “the people on this planet must be freaking out”

- “I still can’t believe that Anakin is a married man”

- she loves the banter between obi wan and Anakin, if she only knew what was to come

- “upgrades” to 3po

- “everyone is right there, why are they doing this here?”

- gasped when padme said she was pregnant

- “this man is on the verge of death” (to grevious)

- oh god guys, she asked if chancellor palpatine’s child will become Vader or a Anakin’s child, this is going to be a ride

- “he has small nipples”

- “is he going to murder his child?”

- “how are they sleeping together? Don’t the servants know” I did explain how loyal padme’s handmaidens are super loyal to her

- “aw, she still has the necklace”

- “this is not what I expected”

- “I don’t trust him” (to palpatine)

- you know, on a personal note, I feel like had the Jedi just told Anakin that he would not be on the council then things would’ve went better

- we talked about this and how they approached this wrong and she said she didn’t trust him even more

- “this is becoming too much”

- “he probably just wants padme to call him master”

- “obi wan saw a pregnant padme and didn’t question it? Doesn’t he suspect?”

- “he’s a lot skinnier than I thought” (about grievous)

- “this man has asthma” (again grievous)

- “why can’t the Jedi just kill all of the bad guys?”

- “I like the sounds that thing makes” the yips

- “What’s the point of getting these crystallized things if they drop them all the time?”

- “I don’t like this guy, what’s his name— palpatine. I don’t trust him. He’s evil”

- “how many siths are there?” I did explain the way siths work

- “his insides are visible”

- “they could use Anakin even if they don’t trust him, he’s still skilled”

- “is darth Vader anakin’s father? When does he come into play”

- “they all kind of suck” (all the Jedi fighting palpatine)

- “just stab him. Just do it” (to windu)

- “Anakin no”

- “he’s definitely evil now”

- “no!” When Anakin was named darth Vader, she looked at me and back at the screen. The reaction was very much worth it

- “I’m done with Star Wars, this is dumb. It can’t be. No.”

- “Obi is going to be so sad”

- “what’s order 66?”

- “is obi wan dead?”

- “what’s order 66?”

- “why did she fall like that?”

- “is he going to kill all the kids? He won’t, right?”

- “padme you fool, I told you”

- “I knew the clone dudes were evil” don’t worry, we will watch the clones wars after where she will get emotionally attached to them and cry

- “why did the clones follow the order? Were they programmed? We’re they just acting friendly?”

- “he did not kill the padawans” and then she went into how sad that they were hiding and came out because they trusted him

- “what’s the name of the Jedi dude? The one died in the first movie?” I answer “quigon, yeah. He put so much faith in Anakin”

- “you lied to me. Anakin isn’t troubled. He’s bad. No redemption unless he saves yoda or something”

- “padme should’ve known when he killed those people with the women and children, what were they called,” I tell her the tusken raiders “yeah, them.”

- “you know he could, he’s literally killed children before”

- “this is baloney and I don’t like baloney anymore”

- “bruh, he did this for her and he attacked her”

- “I kind of wanted his lightsaber to be red”

- “yoda just waddles in”

- “he saw that coming, he put his hands up. I saw that coming”

*going to be honest, I put my phone down because I had to watch the lightsaber duel between obi wan and Anakin but I’ll write down some details I remember

- commented on how padme was really just left up there

- complimented the visual effects and the choreography for the obi wan vs Anakin duel

- freaked out about yoda a bit and called bail a real homie

- was shocked that there were twins but was weirded out that everyone was just watching her give birth

- laughed when Vader yelled “no” and questioned the chancellors lie

- said that Luke definitely got the short of end of the stick while leia is living the high life

- explained to me how quigon had too much faith

- she was confused about the republic vs separatist politics I explained how basically both sides lost

Overall: she felt extremely betrayed. I honestly can’t wait to show her all the different versions and perspectives of order 66 that Star Wars loves to show

Next one is the clone wars movie

[archivyrep]

R2-D2: An Unintentional Archivist? [Part 1]

In the above noted video, a video podcast/vlog, Sam Cross and Jennifer Snoek-Brown, each with their respective blogs (Pop Archives and Reel Librarians) talk about archives themes in Star Wars (especially the themes), specifically noting that R2-D2 is a bit of an unintentional archivist in may ways. In the past I've noted the analysis droids of the Jedi Archives, noted fights over records in various episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and the reprogramming of a droid, Chopper, in Star Wars Rebels as the Empire attempts to learn the location of the Rebel Base, along with any other secrets within. [1] However, I had never thought of R2-D2 as an unintentional archivist, perhaps because at times I see myself at the bit of the fringe of the Star Wars fandom. I tried to approach this article by combining my love of Star Wars with my knowledge of archives, records management, and other topics.

Reprinted from my Wading Through the Cultural Stacks WordPress blog. Originally published on Nov. 9, 2022.

I somewhat broached a similar subject in the past, in respect to Peridot in Steven Universe, determining whether she is a records manager, unintentional archivist, or something else entirely. His official Wookieepedia entry notes that he was "never given a full memory wipe nor did he ever receive new programming" and states that he semi-retires in the Resistance, poring "over several decades of uninterrupted data" and dreaming of his "greatest adventures." That's pretty amazing for a droid who is one of the only consistent characters through the series. Not only does he survive through the invasion of a planet (Naboo), the entire Clone Wars, the Jedi Purge, the rise of the Galactic Empire, the end of the Empire, and beyond!

The entry notes that when he was captured, in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars episode "Downfall of a Droid" as the devious General Grevious wants to "disassemble the astromech droid and extract all information on the Republic's military strategies from him". While he is saved in "Duel of the Droids", this does show that even enemies see his value as a storage place of information. In a later episode, "Evil Plans", Cad Bane exploits this, accessing the memory banks of R2, allowing him to "obtain a technical layout of the Senate Building".

General Grevious personally oversees the disassembly of R2 in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars episode "Duel of the Droids"

To make sure his plan works, he even mind-wipes R2, so he doesn't remember anything! As a note, all of these episodes will be from Star Wars: The Clone Wars unless otherwise stated. In fact, even while C-3PO gets mind wiped after Anakin becomes Darth Vader, R2 does not! This allows him to recognize Ashoka Tano in the series Ashoka and Star Wars Rebels episode "Droids in Distress". A memory wipe is a select or completely erasing memory of a droid, something selectively done. This is basically a disposal process that "results in the obliteration of records", i.e. destruction, rather than disposal or disposition.

Even funnier is the fact that R2 even commands, "The Citadel" and "Counterattack") a whole droid squadron, allowing him to free some of the captured Jedi. Otherwise, he has helped indigenous people rise up against droid overlords, in the episode "Nomad Droids", befriended battle droids in "A Friend in Need". And despite almost being destroyed various times, like in the episode "Point of No Return", or blasted in Return of the Jedi, he somehow survives, as does all the information he stores, despite various reboots if you will.

© 2022 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

Continued in part 2

Notes

[1] In that post, I said "there's also fights over records in "Senate Spy" (S2, e4), "Children of the Force" (S2, e3), "Downfall of a Droid" (S1, e6), and "Duel of the Droids" (S1, e7)." Also, in an August 2020 post, I describe the Wookiepedia entry for Nu, which says that the "Chief Librarian" (actually chief archivist) is assisted by "associate librarians" (actually associate archivists), along with various analysis droids.

[themattress]

The Sequel Trilogy Rewatch

I watched all the movies again recently, and here are my insights after getting to experience the trilogy as a whole unit together, separated from the context of the previous two trilogies.

The Force Awakens - As I’ve said recently, it’s overrated and suffers the most from being derivative. Every rehashing of A New Hope is eye-roll inducing and threatens to take me out of the movie; by the time Starkiller Base enters the picture (”It’s another Death Star!”) it’s really grinding my gears. I understand completely why it was done, but with the thrill of the initial theatrical release gone, the movie suffers for it more and more. The Phantom Menace is a worse film by far, but at least Lucas’ stance of “it’s poetry, it rhymes” wasn’t taken to such a literal extreme there as it is here, making it feel like a more unique, if bad, trilogy opener.

But with that said, let’s give this movie the credit it’s due: everything about the new characters and elements and how they interact with the updated old characters and elements is done legitimately brilliantly. Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8, Kylo Ren, General Hux and Maz Kanata are all just so captivating and interesting and enjoyable to watch on screen, as are the aged Han, Chewie, Leia, C-3PO, R2-D2 and - at the very end - Luke. The actors are giving it their all and the characters come alive as a result; you connect with them and want to follow them. And even though we all know they were made as Mystery Boxes, J.J Abrams truly is a master at making you want to know what’s in those boxes all the same. Who are Rey’s parents and why did they leave her on Jakkuu? Why is Rey so proficient in the Force right away? Is Finn Force-sensitive? Who is Snoke, how did he turn Ben Solo to the Dark Side and what’s his beef with Luke, the Jedi and the Light Side in general? What exactly are the Knights of Ren? Is there some kind of deeper connection between Kylo Ren and Rey? Why did Luke go to Ach-To and split the map that leads there? What’s the deal with Maz? How did she recover Luke’s old lightsaber? What in the fuck was that Force vision Rey experienced when she touched said lightsaber? And just why did C-3PO get a red arm grafted onto him? OK, that last one’s a joke, but you get my point. Questions are raised, and you want to see them answered even if Abrams himself isn’t completely firm on what those answers even are.

Also, this movie has the best pacing in the trilogy. It opens where it needs to, progresses in a natural flow, and ends at exactly the right point it should. Hats off to the editors on this one, and to Lawrence Kasdan, whose experience with writing Star Wars movies helped greatly.

The Last Jedi - I guess this movie is destined to always confound me. Throughout it, I just keep asking “Why?” Why did Rian Johnson do so exceptionally well with the storyline surrounding Luke, Rey, Kylo Ren, the Force, the Jedi, Ach-To and Snoke, only to then do...whatever the Hell he did with everything else in the movie? I love returning characters like Finn, Poe, Maz and Leia, and I love new characters like Paige, Rose, Holdo and DJ. but the story they are a part of and the things they are used to make happen is so dumb. And to quote Rian Johnson’s later (and stronger) work, it’s not “so dumb, it’s brilliant” - it’s just dumb! Seriously, I cannot believe Kathleen Kennedy signed onto what he did with Leia in this movie. If the reasoning was it would be made up for with her in the following film, then...um, whoops. This also creates a huge pacing problem, dragging the movie out longer than usual for Star Wars and having two climaxes. Cutting down on the dumbness would have done wonders.

That’s not to say everything in the better half is perfect, mind you - Luke is way too unlikable before he agrees to teach Rey and I totally agree with Mark Hamill’s concerns about this, some good decisions are marred by bad ones (ex: killing off Snoke so that Kylo Ren can ascend, which is good, without offering the remotest hint as to what his deal even was, which is bad), and God bless Daisy Ridley for keeping Rey an engaging heroine you follow and root for since her writing is a lopsided mess: she fucks up and fails miserably yet is also just perfect as is and needs no real training, she is drawn toward the Dark Side and a big deal is made over it only for her to have zero actual temptation to join Kylo Ren when he offers it, and the revelation of her parents being nobodies who abandoned her for no good reason is meant to be the most devastating thing she can hear yet then her next scene has her happily manning the Falcon’s guns cheering “Woo! I like this!”, and the parents are never brought up again and Rey simply partakes in a happy ending that just feels phony all things considered.

And yeah, doing either nothing with those Mystery Boxes from The Force Awakens or giving them the most purposefully anti-climactic answers possible was...a choice. I can’t entirely blame Johnson, since Lucasfilm didn’t have a firm plan in place and he wasn’t under any obligation to answer anything in any specific way, but it’s still odd that he goes this far in subverting expectations, to the point where it actually shuts off avenues for the subsequent film to explore. He’s treating the middle chapter of a trilogy like a standalone; it’s so bizarre. 

But hey, what’s done right is done so very right. The cinematography is the most gorgeous to ever be in a Star Wars movie, the atmosphere in every scene (particularly the good scenes) is on point, the action in the film’s last hour is amazing, and as I said before the writing for the film’s core narrative is strong. I especially adore Luke’s character arc once it really gets going; him feeling like a failure because he didn’t live up to “the legend” built around him is the kind of development that makes perfect sense both in-universe and out-of-universe, and seeing him finally learn to embrace himself as the failure of a person he is and as the legend he is regarded as because he recognizes that both are valuable to saving the galaxy...it’s perfect.

The Rise of Skywalker - So, watching it again, did I finally see how bad this movie truly is? Am I ready to eat all my words about enjoying it and defending it? Am I ready to accept that the critics and fandom are right in it not sticking the landing and being a bad conclusion?

Seriously; the editing (especially in the first third) is wonky just to fill a mandatory runtime despite the previous film running overlong, the exposition is often laborious and cringy (“Somehow Palpatine returned.”), and what it all amounts to is just so over-the-top stupid and crazy it’s almost hard to believe. It’s a big, bloated, popcorn movie shlockfest and I love it!

There are three huge things to consider with this movie. One: it had the rawest deal of the trilogy production-wise for multiple reasons and you need to take that into account when considering any choppiness; honestly with the situation J.J Abrams and co. were in, it’s amazing the film came out as coherently as it did! Two: is any disappointment you feel really this film’s doing, or is it the whole trilogy’s and Lucasfilm’s lack of an overarching creative vision for it? Because it feels like most detractors are actually experiencing the latter kind of disappointment and then pinning the blame on this movie for making them realize it. When applying logic, The Force Awakens which started the trilogy with a lack of a firm plan in mind and The Last Jedi which tossed aside all set-up and veered off into a wildly different direction that left the following film facing something of a dead-end have more share of the blame.

And three: this movie actually IS “so dumb, it’s brilliant”. If you read any interview with J.J Abrams and/or Chris Terrio, you’ll see they did their homework. They weren’t interested in trying to conform to an endlessly unpleasable fandom’s serious business vision of what Star Wars is / should be, they were just going to work with what Star Wars actually was when conceived: a goofy hodge-podge of film serials, B movies, comic books, fairy tales and ancient myths, given the most basic of spiritual undertones, and packaged as a feel-good entertaining thrill-ride for all audiences, particularly the young and the young-at-heart. Only as this was the conclusion of a nine-film saga, they took it a step further and made it primarily a goofy hodge-podge of previous Star Wars movies and even some other Star Wars projects like TV shows and comics. They deliberately brought Star Wars full circle, because they knew and loved Star Wars as it truly exists, not as the sacred thing so many fans build it up as. George Lucas himself said it: they’re just movies, you’re just meant to have a good time with them and not think too deeply about it, even if the movies do offer you things to think about (which is how/why expanded universe projects are made). You’re just meant to have fun.

That’s why this movie will always by my favorite one in the trilogy, warts and all. It’s so fun.

But on that note, yeah, the Sequel Trilogy is fun. It’s flawed and uneven, but so are the other trilogies, which also received histrionic flak in their days. I find it morbidly laughable that people, whether they be Star Wars fans or professional film critics, have learned nothing after all this time. Those who don’t learn from history truly are doomed to repeat it, I suppose.

SIDE NOTE: There is one consistency in the Sequel Trilogy that I really feel deserves more appreciation, and that’s Kylo Ren. He gets criticized for us not getting to see his backstory compared to Anakin’s three movies and a TV show showing how he became Darth Vader, and for making some wild swings in terms of actions and plot usage depending on the movie, but I believe that Adam Driver’s performance combined with him being one of the few things in the new trilogy that did have something of a road map attached to him from the beginning counteracts that. He truly is Darth Vader in reverse, and that creates an entirely different sort of antagonist: not a cold, machine-like being that used to be human and became this way as a psychological response to his feelings causing him great trauma and tragedy, but a human who desperately wants and is actively trying to be a cold, machine-like being to escape all the pain that his feelings cause him. And as close as he gets to successfully crossing that line, he never fully does. In the end, he not only surpasses Vader by betraying his master and ruling his empire, but he also surpasses Anakin: rather than his mother’s death leading him down a path that ends in a fiery damnation, his mother’s death directly leads to a watery cleansing and salvation, which culminates in him actually saving the woman he loves from dying rather than trying to do so only to end up killing her. He’s a wonderful character and I adore him.

(Also: these skits. How can you not love the guy for these?)

[crowsandmurder]

[ Continued from HERE -- > @bchemianrhapscdy​ ]

Gazing up into his eyes, Padme could feel how her heart started to beat faster. It was something she felt for him to. knowing she could never feel the same for anything else what she felt for him. It seemed foolish, to fall for the first guy that had crossed her path. But ten years had passed, and the little boy she had adored and cared for so much had become a man. Someone who knew what he wanted, and that he would be fighting for it. He was brave, far braver than she could ever be. And the way he had charmed himself right into her heart so quickly was frightening. Still, Padme knew to love was to get hurt. Maybe not now, maybe not anytime soon. But one day. Both were living a dangerous life, not to mention what they did was forbidden too. But their love was stronger than that. And she knew she would do anything for him.

“This is our language. To impress our love.” her hands moved up, softly cupping his face. “I know that we will survive everything. Together. Even when dark times are coming our way. We will stay together.” she smiled. No matter what the future hold for them.

Anakin knew that the darker times were coming, that as much as he wanted to fight the fact that they were coming, they were. He and Padme had spent as much time hiding away from the world since their wedding as they could, but tomorrow, he had to go back to Coruscant.  He had his Jedi Knight trials, the day after tomorrow. He had also heard rumblings that if he passed, he would be made a General and given an army of Clones.  He felt like he had been a Padawan forever, and now, he was looking at possibly being a General?  When he had brought Padme back to Naboo a couple of weeks ago, things had been different. They had been in love, but it was different. Now, they were married.  

They both knew he had to leave the next day, but had been trying not to think about it. He had told 3PO and R2, to leave them alone for the night. He wanted to spend the evening with his wife, and only his wife.  He leaned into her touch and he closed his eyes.

“I know we will, my angel.  We will always be together, even when we are apart. Know that I will try to get back to you, as often as I can, and when I am in Coruscant, I will spend as many nights with you, as I can. I can’t imagine being apart from you at all, after the time we’ve spent here. It’s been completely amazing, spending time in Naboo, falling in love, getting married, the time since then, everything we’ve done since then, even the things we have done outside of the bedroom, or shall I say, the things that involved clothes? We didn’t always stay in the bedroom. These past few weeks have been the best of my entire life.” 

[mountkennedie]

Not to be cringe or anything but I'm literally so starved in this fandom can you please write something for a C3PO x reader please?

I have no right to judge so

C3PO x reader

Summary: C3PO is taken apart and he only wants you to put him back together

Warnings: I've never done this before and a little angst

*this takes place after he was taken apart in empire strikes back*

________________________________________

You honestly couldn't believe the turn of events that had led to this moment. You were in some random place in the clouds, you all could only get in because of Han's "friendship", and now that friend had betrayed all of you. You of course were nervous for everyone's fate, including your own, but that didn't mean you were a little more focused on someone elses. You hadn't seen 3po since you all had landed and your fear of what could have happened only grew.

You were just sitting alone on a bench next to Leia waiting for Chewie or Han or 3po, just anyone. Leia helped in all ways she could but she couldn't deny her own feelings and anxieties. She worried deeply for Han and you knew that you both felt the same, no matter the encouragement you both gave to each other.

Luckily, the door was opened and Chewie was thrown in. He had something strapped to his back that you couldn't see. Once he turned a little, you realized what, or really who, was there.

"Maker..." you muttered running over to 3po strapped onto to Chewbacca's back. "What happened to you?"

"Hello Y/n," he began softly, "You see I thought I had heard R2 down a hallway, and while I went to see if it was him, instead I saw these stormtroopers! They had shot me and taken me apart. I was nearly scrap metal! Until of course Chewbacca came to my rescue and brought me here. I wish the ride wasn't so hectic though, he almost caused me even more damage!" That earned him a cry from Chewie but you were just happy that he was okay. Aside from the being in pieces part.

"Chewie, how quickly can you get him back in one piece?" You asked.

"It will take some time since I don't have my normal tools," he said. Thank the maker being around Han for long had you pick up on some Shyriiwook.

"Thank you," you replied to the Wooki. You walked back around and told 3po the news, "It's going to take some time since Chewie doesn't have what he needs to fix you. But he said it shouldn't take long for him to do it,."

"I would um- prefer if you repaired me Y/n," 3po told you. "Me?" You asked the droid.

"Well yes, I trust your care with me the most. At least more than this furball!" 3po said, inviting another cry from Chewie. "I'll see what I can do, but not here, I'm far too stressed to be focusing on fixing things. It will be better on the falcon," you told him.

"Thank you Y/n," he replied.

[dexters-bluemilkshakes]

i made "the 501st goes to Target", "the disaster lineage goes to Target", "The Clone Wars Squad ™ (+Satine) goes to Target", "The Rebels go to Target", "The Original Trilogy Gang Goes To Target", and now I give you

The Driods of Star Wars go to Target (chaos ensues):

R2d2: well, he’s been here many times before. He acts like he owns the place. He rolls around the aisles showing bb8 and D-O all the “cool” spots and best ways to cause chaos. Bb8 and D-O chirp excitedly, because if uncle r2 says its okay, then it must be, right?

This is a long way of saying r2 is the best bad influence ever.

oh man, the chaos this little droid causes. Surprisingly, he doesn’t get banned (only bc 3po and Ap-5 talk the manager out of it), but it’s a close one.

r2 runs around screaming, throwing things at his friends. he and chopper WREAK havoc hiding under shelves and pretending to be large plastic versions of themselves (they are, after all, galactic heroes. of COURSE target has plastic figurines of them, some may even be life sized). once they are hidden, they jump out at whoever walks through, friends and strangers alike.

seriously, it’s a miracle they don’t get kicked out.

r2 also rolls around holding a giant yoga ball above his head while chasing AP-5, who is swearing like a pilot.

He and 3po go around the store once everything quiets down. On occasion r2 would project a holo-recording of anakin or leia or obi-wan or luke and it would be like they were really there with them. and at that moment, they were. the memories may be tinged with blue and static, but it was there all the same.

r2 would coo softly when he saw the faces of those he loves laughing and loving him right back. but then the holo-vid ends. and he and 3po are alone once again.

3po: he showed bb8 and and D-O how to shop responsibly and where to find the best deals. He, Ap-5, and k2so all tell their respective crews the odds for different reasons, which they rant about to each other

Ap-5 and k2so love each other’s sarcasm, but

3po is like their older brother and so they make sure he understands their jokes.

3po makes a sarcastic comment to r2 after hanging out with Ap-5 and k2so and r2 didn’t know if he should break the two droids or cheer. (he short circuited instead).

he did the shopping, of course. after all, he was the oldest, and he knew exactly what to buy and where to buy it. bb8 and D-O excitedly rolled after him and took mental notes on how 3po was shopping, before getting distracted and rolling off to play w Az.

3po didn’t mind, he was happy to watch the two young droids play.

r2 came over to 3po after the shopping was done and he was just looking around. at first, 3po was wary, because he thought his companion was trying to get him involved in a prank, but nevertheless, shuffled after r2.

they want from hall to hall, looking at holo-recordings that r2 had saved of their friends. the last one r2 played was in the hair product aisle, and he projected a video of obi-wan and anakin bickering over shampoo and over if obi-wan uses that fancy pomade or not. then ahsoka comes over and they start arguing over 3-in-one shampoo (anakin is all for it, obi wan is appalled, ahsoka doesn’t even have hair and she knows that 3-in-one is horrible).

the recording ends and the images freezes and so do their friends. the smiles are still on their faces except for when little bits of static disrupt the image.

3po and r2 stand looking at the images for a long time. 3po’s hand resting on the dome of his silver little friends. they wished the smiles in real life could have stayed on their friends' faces as long as they did in the images frozen in time.

Bb8: he had never been to a target before. Poe preferred space-costco, so this was a new experience for bb8. D-O had never gone either, so bb8 and his friend raced around the hallways, ricocheting off of the shelves as they rounded counters.

3po taught bb8 where to find the best deals on groceries, even though bb8 wouldn't actually need to buy food for himself. r2 the reminded 3po that astromechs don’t tend to buy groceries for their owners, but bb8 wanted to learn anyway.

D-O got bored and rolled off with r-2 after a bit, but bb8 spent nearly a half hour eagerly listening to Professor 3po.

at the end of the day, he used his allowance to buy Poe a target gift card, just to have an excuse to come back with him.

K2s0: he jokes around with the employees. They make jokes about idiotic customers and how stupid people can be. The employees say that some of the worst customers are the obnoxious ones, to which k2s0 replies that he is unfortunately good friends with a lot of those customers.

As if on cue, r2 and chopper come screaming around the corner, with bb8 and D-O on their heels.

“Like them,” one of the cashiers say.

K2so just sighs and gives them each a handful of credits and then jogs off to catch his friends.

Later, he runs into a very grumpy manager who k2so has seen yelling at employees and making them cry for doing nothing.

So, naturally, k2so trolls him big time. He pretends to joke around with him the same way he did with the cashiers, but this time he is absolutely making fun of him. Once the manager catches on, k2s0 bluntly admits to trolling him, tells him his shoes are dumb, and then books it out of the store, carrying D-O underhis arm.

When they all get home, he lectures them all on being more well behaved because they were making the employee’s lives harder. He did this in a very sarcastic way, of course. It was like if space-john mulaney gave you a lecture.

To his credit, r2 and chopper were a little quieter the next time they went to the store.

AP-5: wants to spend as little time in the store as possible. He plans to get the groceries and g o. He doesn't want to be around people or droids or anything that can hold a conversation, he just wants to get a box of bolts to fix Sabine's bedroom doorway with, and some instant space-foods since The Ghost was going to be traveling in hyperspace for a really long jump. But when is he ever that lucky?

The version AP-5 tells Hera is that Chopper was running around screaming (which, to his credit, is not untrue), and that he had to intervene.

The truth is that AP-5 helped chopper create a chaos prank because he knew it was going to happen either way, and he wanted to mitigate the circumstances. He told sabine and kanan the truth when they cornered him bc they didn’t believe him (neither did hera, but she knew he would never fess up to her bc she would make him babysit as punishment. again).

The actual truth was that AP-5 came up with the idea, which he and chopper then executed, and later came up with a worse version that AP supposedly mitigated.

They said chopper was going to just knock down a bunch of shelves.

I n s t e a d he would take things from people’s cart when they weren't looking while Ap-5 distracted them, and then like put them on a shelf later, or in their cart right as they are loading stuff onto the belt.

When he wasn’t making customers question their sanity, his cargo manifest instincts kicked in. he found himself taking inventory of the whole store though multiple rounds, and would tell the employees when he noticed a shelf ran out of a popular item, much to their severe annoyance.

But he had fun.

He also bought a stuffed space-bird creature, the ones that surrounded him when he was floating and space and having a *main character moment*.

Chopper: chaos. Only chaos.

He spends his time scaring the living starlights out of people, screaming (crying, throwing up), freaking out customers by moving their items around, being a bad influence on his younger brothers (bb8 and D-O), buying himself a new cat toy to add to his now-too-big collection, and buying a birthday present for Hera. the wholesomeness ruined his chaotic facade, but hey, he has to stay the favorite kid somehow.

K2sO loves chop. Or, rather, he likes watching chopper cause chaos, until chopper upsets his new target-employee-besties, and then chopper gets yelled at by k2.

It made it into chopper’s top five most terrifying experiences, right under when Ezra once told Luke that chopper was like the r2 of the ghost, and r2 almost strangled ezra. It was hard for even chopper to tell who was more insulted: r2 or chopper (or luke tbh).

He and r2 are literal besties, despite r2 being like nearly two decades older and technically in charge. Chopper did at one point ask if they could steal a mannequin to put in a closet and scare ezra, and r2 said no.

However, he promised he would carry Ap-5 to a closet on the ghost when he was in recharge cycle to make up for it.

Chopper also bought ezra a can that when you open it a fake snake pops out, just in case the Ap-5 plan never follows through.

D-O: baby’s first shopping excursion. The little droid didn’t go out much before, especially not on shopping trips. The sith in him makes him a little chaotic, but that also be bc of his big brother chopper and uncle r2.

yeah, it’s definitely because of chopper and r2.

D-O is eager to learn anything, everything he can. 3po is happy to teach him about stores and deals and shopping. bb8 was interested for a short while before running off with r2, but D-O remained FASCINATED for as long as 3po was talking.

He is technically older than bb8, but everyone forgets this and treats him like the baby, including bb8.

D-O doesn’t mind.

AZ: so, AZ not only didn’t know Target existed, he had ever heard of the concept of a store before. Everything he ever needed was on Kamino without fail, and it wasn’t in his programming to inquire where it came from. He doesn't know what anything is so he constantly asks questions about everything, even items that he literally has seen before (like bowls or shirts). He would ask why they were here and not on Kamino, and if Tipoca City got their supplies from target.

No one knew how to tell AZ that it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like Tipoca City needs much of anything anymore.

He gets a little overwhelmed in the best way at all the cool stuff. He zooms around, picking up one thing only to drop it again to go look at something else that caught his eye. 3po trailed behind him to out everything back properly, and K2so followed AZ to make sure he didn’t overload his circuits, and to catch him if he did.

Az was dismayed at the medical aisle section, especially at the % bacta in the ointments and band-aids and whatnot. He thought it was an outrage that there was so little bacta in the disinfectant and bandages, and asked how this would heal a blaster wound.

K2so then informed him that most people wouldn’t go to the target pharmacy to treat a blaster wound.

After the initial ten minutes of chaos and questions, AZ settled down and quietly hovered around, before buying a kid’s t-shirt that was meant for a birthday, thought AZ wasn’t sure why it resonated with him so much since the shirt was plain and only had a single number on it:

5.

[qqueenofhades]

so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…

what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?

favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!

go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)

tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky

Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.

Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??

Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!

But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”

Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/

Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)

Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.

Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.

So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.

So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.

(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)

sleepover weekend asks

[brandonjg227]

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope 45th Anniversary

Star Wars is considered to be one of my favorite franchises and the most popular franchises of all time. Releasing back on May 25th, 1977 the film original just called Star Wars released to the public. The film became an instant classic and quickly rose to being the highest grossing film at the time. All of this was possible because of the wild imagination of one man, George Lucas.

After he had finished his first feature length film, THX 1138, Lucas was inspired by old Flash Grodon movie serials and wanted to develop something in the same vein. After he was unsuccessful in acquiring the rights to Flash Gordon he decided to create his own mythos with a unique setting and characters.

The inspirations for the story and setting include classic science fiction settings like Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers and JohnCarter of Mars, Akira Kurosawa films such as The Hidden Fortress and the studies of well known theologist Joseph Campbell and his book “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”.

After making American Graffiti with Universal Lucas had a meeting with then 20th Century Fox president Alan Ladd Jr. Ladd, impressed with Lucas decided to give it the go ahead. Lucas went on to say “Ladd invested in me, he did not invest in the movie.“.

At the time making a big budget space fantasy film was not seen as very profitable. Up to that point the most successful science fiction film was 2001: A Space Odyssey. While 20th Century Fox has done the classic Planet of the Apes film series from 1968 – 1973, something at this scale was unheard of.

Filming began in 1976. Lucas wanted to have relatively unknown actors play the leads, so actors Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford landed the lead roles. Veteran Actor Alec Guinness played the wise Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Peter Cushing played Grand Moff Tarkin and both David Prowse and James Earl Jones played Darth Vader (Prowse as the physical Darth Vader and James Earl Jones provided the voice). In addition actors Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker all played the more bizarre characters of Chewbacca, C-3PO and R2-D2.

While the filming went mostly smoothly the special effects at George’s ILM (Industrial Light & Magic) were going horribly. George Lucas himself had to come in and provide hands on aid to help with the process. The reason why it was so difficult was due to many effects having been never before seen on camera. It was a very hectic process of trying to figure out how to properly make space battles on screen.

When the movie as all finished the first rough cut was considered unwatchable. It wasn’t until Lucas’ then wife Marcia, as well as Paul Hirsch and Richard Chew, were able to make a better cut and that was when the film finally came together.

The film released on May 25th, 1977, the Wednesday before Memorial Day. Only 37 theaters agreed to show it as at the same time 20th Century Fox released The Other Side of Midnight which was seen as more anticipated film. But those who saw the film experienced something they had never seen before.

The film became an instant success, earning $775.8 Million on an $11 Million budget, becoming the highest grossing film up until that point. Soon everyone was greeting each other with “May the force be with you“. Eventually when Kenner released their Star Wars toys they also became highly sought after.

With the success of Star Wars Mattel created He-Man, Hasbro revived G.I. Joe and Paramount revived Star Trek. In a way Star Wars can be seen as the force responsible for the pop culture boom of the 1980s. The original Star Wars films have entertained people of all ages for decades. Taking you to a galaxy far, far away, to see different cultures and a wide variety of different lifeforms. Not to mention the mysterious ways of the force and the Jedi. Of course we later got the Prequels, and while not quite as good as the originals they do have their highlights. And the less said about the more recent films the better. Thank you George for creating one of the greatest film series of all time. You have both entertained and inspired millions for decades. And hopefully they will continue to inspire generations to come.

[levitatingbiscuits]

Re: Luminara helping Anakin compartmentalise during a war. There’s a episode where Anakin has to rescue R2D2 and many clones die for that to happen. I’m always thinking about how fandom pretends Anakin is the only Jedi that cares for his men and how those deaths that could have been avoided if he followed basic military protocol and not left sensitive material on his droid (droid rights are a mess I’m not gonna get into).

Anakin really goes all out if he personally cares for you (e.g Ahsoka, Padme, R2) but the men under his command get dragged along to accomplish those goals and don’t get treated the same way. And idk, Anakin has that brilliant problem solving creativity but he also can’t grasp the bigger picture or look beyond his personal circles that make me think he is really unsuited for command.

I agree completely. Anakin is a good general in that he is always on the front lines willing to risk his life in the fight, but he is VERY reckless with the lives of his men. Anakin’s problem is that he’s TOO powerful, TOO cocksure, and really only cares if the people he likes live.

I know droids rights are a tricky topic, but c’mon. They aren’t people. If they break they can be put back together fairly easily. C-3PO got decapitated for comedic relief, but Jango sure as hell didn’t walk it off a few minutes later in the film. R2 regularly survives various explosions, space battles, getting dropped in swamps, etc. 

Anakin didn’t just risk his men for his mission to retrieve R2, he risked AHSOKA, a 14 year old child in his care who ended up facing Grievous ALONE after he killed her entire squad of clones in front of her because Anakin was cared more about finding R2 than keeping his padawan safe on an enemy ship. You think he would’ve done that if Ahsoka was Padme?? I doubt it. 

I love R2, but ethically I believe those clones had more of a right to life than a droid. Unfortunately, Anakin thought they were expendable, and that his robot was not. R2 doesn’t even qualify as a pet, he’s a hunk of military hardware! Say what you want about the other Jedi but I highly doubt that anyone other than Krell would have so callously ordered his men to die for so petty a reason.

Anakin’s habit of valuing the objects he’s attached to over HUMAN LIFE was never healthy or kind or fair. He’s friendly to the clones but he obviously doesn’t value their lives, save perhaps Rex’s. And if you’ve read the Darth Vader comics you know he often slaughtered them for no reason as a way to express his rage. AHSOKA is better to the men in her command, and she’s a child. At least when she gets clones killed she expresses remorse, and it’s never for petty reasons like wanting her droid back. 

It’s like people forget that Anakin became a bad guy BECAUSE he thought he had the right to use the lives of those he didn’t care about like bargaining chips. But hey, a lot of Anakin stans also excuse his on-screen murder of children soooooo...

[chokemeanakin]

First Kiss - Anakin Skywalker x gn Reader

Summary: Anakin treats you to your first kiss ;)

masterlist

Read it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469749

It happened on Tatooine. Anakin didn’t want to come back, but you had begged him to show you where he grew up.

“I grew up with Obi-Wan, travelling the galaxy,” Anakin corrected, a scowl clouding his face. “Not on Tatooine. I was just a slave there.”

“But it’s got your history,” you argued. “It’s where Qui-Gon found you. It’s where you build C-3PO. It’s where your--”

“It’s where my mother died,” he bit, jaw tense and eyes shadowed. “I know.”

“Maybe we could visit her.”

Anakin closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He did that a lot, ever since he came back from the dark side, to calm the anger inside of him. His hands clenched over the controls of the pod, then suddenly relaxed. When he opened his eyes, he was considerably less tense.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I think she’d like that.”

*********************

“I hate sand,” Anakin muttered as he hopped down from the ship. His boots landed on the ground, sending dust to cloud up around him. He swatted it away from his face.

“Oh, quit pouting,” you take his flesh hand, then raise it over your head with both of yours. “You’re home!”

“This is not my home,” he tried to sound angry, but his face softened when he looked at the smile on your face. He could see you were excited-- for what, he still didn’t understand. You would have to stay in the remote parts of the planet because Anakin would never be welcomed back after what he did to the sand people. You wouldn’t even be able to see the market or Jabba the Hut’s pub, or the place he used to live. Not that Anakin ever wanted to go back to any of those places, anyways. They came for one reason-- to see his mother.

Anakin led the way to the grave. It was just a plank of wood sticking up from the sand, so you weren’t sure how he even knew this was hers. But it was the only thing out here for hundreds of miles, and the somber look on his face was proof enough. This was his mother.

You sat on the sand in front of the wooden plank, drawing shapes in the course minerals. You didn’t say anything, and neither did Anakin as he sat down beside you. The silence was comforting, and just being there was enough. Anakin closed his eyes and his face was peaceful.

You watched him, his face unmoving, as you thought about Anakin and his past. This was where his life began, as a slave, working in a junk shop while his mother struggled to get by. He built his own pod and would race because he was good at it. He built his mother a robot so she wouldn’t have to work so hard. He could still speak the language, as sometimes he would mutter what you were pretty sure were swears under his breath in the foreign tongue.

This was where the sweet, unsuspecting, hopeful little kid who loved flying and wanted to be a Jedi grew up with his mother. He had left her to do just that, and that was the beginning of the end. He never got to see his mother again before she died in his arms. The Jedi Council consistently underestimated his power and belittled him. They alienated him from the one thing he was destined to be. No wonder he turned to Darth Sidious, who was the only person who seemed to trust him in those harrowing times. He had fallen, like Icarus from the sun, like an angel from heaven, and fell and crashed and burned.

But now he was back. He was here again, that same sweet, hopeful boy who just wanted to be a Jedi. And he was sitting before you, with his mother-- a family again.

You were there for hours, until the suns began to lower in the sky. A gust of wind blew sand in your direction, and Anakin cracked an eye open.

“We should get to higher ground,” he said, standing and holding his mechanical arm out for you to take. He helped lift you up, and then brought you in close so he could share his cloak with you, shielding you from the sand. “The wind should let up as the suns go down. For now, we can watch them set from the pod.”

The two of you climbed on top of the ship and sat with your legs dangling off the edge, watching the double-suns inch toward the horizon. The sky seemed to bleed when the lower sun crashed into the sandy mountains, but then melted into a melon-orange glow as the higher sun followed in its wake. Soon, the whipping sand clouds calmed and the sky turned to a deep purple, then black, dotted with thousands of stars. You wondered how many times Anakin had watched this sunset as a kid, and if it’s changed at all since then.

“You’ve come a long way,” you told him, breaking the silence. He lowered his head and looked at his hands.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”

“But you always come back,” you said. He lifted his head and his eyes connected with yours, but they were far away. He was deep in thought, and there was something warring behind them. Guilt.

“I left you,” he said, and it’s barely above a whisper. “We were friends, but as soon as Padme came along, I left you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You were happy with her.”

“I was happy with you, too.”

The confession caused an eruption of warmth to blossom in your chest. You smiled at him, a genuine, delighted smile, and knocked his shoulder playfully with yours.

“You have me now.”

At this, Anakin lifted his arm and wrapped it around your shoulder. He pulled you close for a moment, then relaxed with his arm still around you. For once in your life, you didn’t move away.

Anakin was warm. You basked in the weight of his arm around your shoulders, the feeling of his torso pressed against your side. Your thighs were touching and you realized that this is what you needed, this is what was missing all along, this warmth. Suddenly, you felt complete.

“Why haven’t you ever been with anyone?” Anakin asked suddenly. You tried to fight back the blush from your face at both the question and the fact that his fingers seemed to be absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm. Suddenly he paused. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you told him, and he resumed the patterns. “I just… have a hard time connecting with people.”

“Because of your mother?”

“Because of my mother,” you confirmed, and he coaxed every bit of information out of you on how your mother was strict and mean and cold and judgmental, and your father watched as she stripped your humanity away. He listened attentively as you told him of the suitors you’ve failed with in the past, and his arm tightened around you.

“I just get nervous,” you frowned, twisting your fingers in your lap. “Like the closer someone gets to me, the more they’re going to realize I actually suck.”

“I don’t think you suck,” Anakin said, his voice that sweet, comforting timbre with a gentle rasp that you loved so much. He always sounded like that when he’s spitting off orders to R2 when piloting, or late at night when he’s half asleep and doesn’t know what he’s saying. He also had that stupidly soft look in his eyes, and that half smile you’ve only ever seen directed at Padme.

God, he’s so pretty, you groaned inwardly, unintentionally tensing up when you realized just how close you were sitting. And he was looking at you so deeply, and man, his eyes can be so intense sometimes-- your face burned and you ducked your head so he couldn’t see.

He caught your chin with his gloved mechanical hand, cradling your chin between his index finger and thumb. He turned your face to look at him straight on, right in the eyes, and all you could see was Anakin. He was so close, and he was getting closer. Your eyes shifted to his lips, the same ones you had fantasized about for years, and hoped he couldn’t notice what you were thinking.

“Have you ever been kissed?” you could feel his breath on your lips, your heart pounding against your ribcage. You blinked madly, breathing erratic, palms sweating. Every single atom in your body was buzzing with energy-- excitement, nervousness, fear. You wanted to pull him in and kiss the living daylights out of him. You wanted to push him away and run as fast as you could until you got to a cliff high enough you could jump off and never wake up. You wanted to explode.

“You’re trembling,” Anakin’s eyes shifted across your figure for a split second. “Do you want me to let go?”

“No,” you begged him, your hands shooting out to hold onto him without your permission. They landed on his thighs, and your face burned harder.

“Do you want this?” his thumb stroke your chin. There was nothing you wanted more.

“Yes.”

You weren’t sure how he even heard you, as you barely uttered the word. But before you could do or say or think anything else, Anakin was leaning in. Your eyes closed on instinct and you felt, very softly, the brush of his lips against yours. The volcano was back in your chest, spurting lava all over your insides as you realized, holy shit Anakin Skywalker’s lips are on mine. Holy shit, Anakin Skywalker is kissing me!

The feather light touch tickled more than anything, and you could feel his mouth twitch into a slight smile as your hands’ grip tightened on his legs.

“This okay?” he pulled back a centimeter to ask. “You want more?”

“Yes,” you said again. It was the only thing you could manage to say, the one syllable word, and you began to wonder just how much of a lost cause you were if a simple brush of his lips against yours could render you brain dead.

He muttered an ‘Okay’ and then brought his flesh hand up to cup your face, fingers sliding along your neck and locking into your hair as his thumb stroked your cheek. You shivered, goosebumps staining every inch of your body with the touch. His gloved hand stayed on your chin, tilting it up toward him for easier access.

You closed your eyes again, and he leaned in, and this time he really, actually kissed you. He applied the slightest bit of pressure, then he did it again, shifting his head and capturing your lips in his, pulling back slowly only to do it again.

You were in heaven.

You forgot to respond at first. All you could think of in your short-circuited brain was how Anakin smelled so good and his lips were so warm and he tasted like the stars. Oh, he definitely knew what he was doing, with the way he was moving his lips and the confidence he did it with. You had no idea what you were doing, so you let instinct take control.

You unclenched one of your fists from his leg and raised it to place on his shoulder, pushing just a bit to get a bit of leverage, get a little bit closer so you could respond in earnest. You opened your mouth and closed it over his lips, your stomach cartwheeling as you hoped you were doing this right. It felt right. It felt good. So you kept doing it, and Anakin’s metal arm dropped from your chin and fell to your waist as you rose onto your knees, hands finally tangling into the soft curls of his hair, kissing him like you’ve wanted to kiss him for years.

When Anakin pulled back for air, you realized just how starved you were for oxygen as well. You didn't even notice. You panted, fingers loosening in his hair, lips tingling and burning. Anakin was looking at you like you were everything he wanted, and his eyes caught the twinkle of the stars. This is right where you belong, you realized, right here in Anakin Skywalker’s giving arms. Your breathing evened out, and you seemed to be thinking the same thing.

You leaned back in.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Star Wars and the Space Opera

In 1941, a writer by the name of Wilson Tucker coined the term: ‘Space Opera’, used to describe what he called the “hacky, grinding, stinking, outworn space-ship yarn”.  This derogatory term followed in the footsteps of words like ‘Soap Opera’, a familiar term used even today, and ‘Horse Opera’ a less-used word referring to a cheap western.

However, in the years following this initial term creation, the words ‘Space Opera’ soon became associated with a different connotation.

Today, well, we’d probably call it ‘Soft Science Fiction’.

The term ‘Space Opera’ as we know it now refers to a story set in an unfamiliar galaxy, full of space faring civilizations with access to wonderful technology that isn’t terribly important to the story. Space Operas are epics, action/adventure stories spanning solar systems and galaxies, full of political intrigue, romance, huge space battles, sprawling empires and planets, and larger-than-life heroes and villains playing out the age-old good vs. evil conflict.

The total opposite of hard science fiction, Space Operas are concerned with characters and stories, rather than how the warp-drive works.  In the years since its original examples in the days of Buck Rogers, the term has lost nearly all of its negative connotations.  No longer looked down on, many writers and moviemakers have come to embrace the Space Opera.  Science fiction author Brian Aldiss even wrote a poem describing the steps that every self-respecting Space Opera must take in order to be an example of it’s subgenre:

The world must be in peril.

There must be a quest,

And a man or woman to meet the mighty hour.

That man or woman must confront aliens and exotic creatures.

Space must flow past the ports like wine from a pitcher.

Blood must rain down the palace steps,

And ships launch out into the louring dark.

There must be a woman or man fairer than the skies,

And a villain darker than a Black Hole.

And all must come right in the end.

There have been plenty of Space Operas in recent media history, ranging from the Dune novels to television shows like Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek.  However, easily the best known and most recognizable example of a Space Opera ever created is obvious: George Lucas’s science fiction epic from 1977: Star Wars.

Star Wars was more than a film.  Like Star Trek, it was a cultural phenomenon, sweeping the world immediately and paving the way for stories like it to find success in the future, as stories either inspired by it or intending to cash in on it were created in the years following.  While hailed as the start of a renaissance of Science Fiction in film, it was more accurately the start of the Space Opera in modern popular culture.  While set in space, the film states its scale firmly from its opening words: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Star Wars wasn’t concerned with telling a story about science or logic.  It was a story about heroic rebels rising up and fighting back against an evil empire.  It was about big H heroes, Cool Starships, and Saving the World.  Star Wars was the shift in connotations for the Space Opera.  It was Star Wars’s thouroughly ‘space fantasy’  nature that changed the term ‘Space Opera’ from an insult to simply a genre.  

As such a game-changer, it bears some discussion.

Star Wars was the template used in countless science-fiction films after it, whether outright copied by films like Starchaser: The Legend Of Orin or spoofed in films like Spaceballs, creating a series of characters, scenarios, locations, and technology that has inspired multiple stories since it’s release over forty years ago.

The fact that Star Wars has become such a codifier of Space Operas makes a lot of sense, considering that it almost follows Aldiss’s poem to the letter.  While it does put an entertaining, fresh spin on a lot of fantasy and science fiction conventions, it doesn’t stray from those conventions.  In fact, it embraces them.

Hence our discussion.

Today, we’re going to be analyzing the 1977 film Star Wars in the context of the Space Opera, using Brian Aldiss’s poetic criteria above to analyze how George Lucas, whether knowingly or not, managed to create the perfect Space Opera, starting with, of course, point number one:

The world must be in peril.

To start, let’s look at the opening crawl.  Spoilers below!

It is a period of civil war. Rebel

spaceships, striking from a hidden

base, have won their first victory

against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed

to steal secret plans to the Empire’s

ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an

armored space station with enough

power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents,

Princess Leia races home aboard her

starship, custodian of the stolen plans

that can save her people and restore

freedom to the galaxy….

The story of Star Wars begins in an era of galactic unrest.  The evil Galactic Empire rules with an iron, tyrannical fist over the planets under it, squashing attempts at resistance, but stubbornly, the Rebellion fights on.  However, even their attempts are hopeless in the face of this new weapon: the Death Star.

The stakes for the story are established immediately.  By introducing the idea of a weapon powerful enough to destroy a planet, the audience, themselves only confined to one planet, immediately understand the threat that this weapon holds.  Billions of people extinguished in one shot, and the people with the only hope to stop them are on the run, in danger.

It looks grim for the galaxy.

At the beginning of Star Wars, it’s the End of the World as We Know It, and it’s not just an idle threat.  The Death Star is fully operational, and we see its effects as it destroys the homeworld of Princess Leia, Alderaan.  Billions of people are destroyed instantly, and the weapon won’t stop there.  

The galaxy is definitely in peril, and in order to prevent its destruction, the heroes must obliterate the weapon first, which, of course, answers our next line:

There must be a quest.

The quest is twofold.  The immediate quest is a small-scale one, a quest as old as fairy tales: rescue the Princess.

After Princess Leia is captured by the Empire, she sends the plans for the Death Star, and a message pleading for help, in a droid, R2-D2, trying to get them to an old Jedi Master, (The Mentor and Wizard of the story) Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Unfortunately, the droid (along with fellow robot, C-3PO) end up in the hands of farmboy Luke Skywalker.  Luke, recognizing the name, takes them to the Jedi, and ends up whisked away, determined to rescue Leia.  As he finds out more and more, the second part of the quest, the larger one, becomes clear:  Destroy the Death Star.

In order to prevent the destruction of the Rebellion, Luke must go on a journey, traveling through interesting places, all while learning the secrets of the Jedi: a power known as the Force.  Throughout this journey, he learns and grows, becoming better equipped to complete his quest along the way.  As Luke passes through criminal-infested cantinas, the Death Star itself, and the Rebel base on Yavin 4, he gains new understanding and perspective, all while focusing on his main goal: Rescue the Princess.

This version of The Quest storyline falls under the ‘Overcoming the Monster’ quest, a single-minded one focused on the end goal of the story.  Rather than focusing on a series of smaller quests that tie into the large one, the story of Star Wars revolves around the final act, with the characters pushing to Rescue the Princess and destroy the Death Star.  It’s concise, simple, but solid enough to work, propelled forward by the characters in the narrative.

The Quest directly overlaps with the famous Hero’s Journey narrative, seen in countless stories on the page and screen.  The combination thereof gives us a story where the focus is on the Hero’s growth and development as Luke finds his destiny, reacting to events pushing him forward, all while striving towards the end goal of the story.  It’s a very compelling narrative, traditionally done as a fantasy story, which naturally makes it perfect for the standard Space Opera story.

Which brings us to our next point:

And a man or woman to meet the mighty hour.

Of course, the man of the hour in Star Wars is farmboy Luke Skywalker, whisked up seemingly by accident into this world of Jedi, Evil Empires and Rebellions.  As with most Space Opera/Epic heroes, he isn’t terribly complex.  There are no moral struggles for Luke Skywalker, he knows what he has to do, and with determination, he strives for it.

In many ways, Luke Skywalker is the quintessential Hero archetype.  When we first meet him, (stage 1 of the Hero’s Journey), he is living on a desert farm that he desperately wants to get away from.  He craves adventure, excitement, and information about the father he never knew, constantly badgering his aunt and uncle for a chance to leave the planet Tatooine.

Luke is a big H hero, good and pure, bent on achieving his goal.  He’s an archetype, as old as stories themselves: the Ideal Hero, determined to finish the quest, stop the villain, and rescue the princess.  He’s new to the galaxy at large, serving also as the audience surrogate as the other characters explain and teach him about the more mysterious elements of the galaxy, but he proves a quick learner, also able to (clumsily at first) wield the powerful Force to assist him in his quest.  He even inherits the lightsaber (the science fiction equivalent of a sword) of his father, further adding to his Knight in Shining Armor role in the story.

Despite his good qualities, Luke isn’t perfect.  He’s inexperienced, and naive.  He’s a good shot with a blaster, and a better pilot, but he has problems with patience and anger, and has to be reigned in by other members of the cast.  He also doesn’t always get along with everyone else on his team, as evidenced by his arguments with reluctant partner and Lancer Han Solo.

Oddly enough, Luke’s motivation to start this journey is mixed.  While it would seem like he must want to Jump at the Call, when initially offered the chance for this adventure, Luke turns it down, citing his aunt and uncle as reasons not to go.  Unfortunately, the Empire, in search of the droid in Luke’s possession, burn down his homestead, killing his aunt and uncle in the process.  With nothing left of his home and family, Luke embarks on the adventure he seems to have always wanted, being pushed into the role of unexpected Hero.

While initially starting the story in a role akin to The Load, it doesn’t take long for Luke to go through some Character Development to rise to his full potential.  When dragged into the belly of the beast, trapped within the Death Star where Princess Leia is being held, it is Luke who assembles a plan, convincing the pilot who brought them, Han, and his copilot, Chewbacca, to assist him in rescuing Leia and escaping the Death Star.  Later on, it is Luke who exploits the Fatal Flaw of the Death Star design, destroying the weapon and saving the galaxy (for now).

Throughout his Hero’s Journey, Luke inevitably fulfills the next part of our criteria:

That man or woman must confront aliens and exotic creatures.

While most of the characters are examples of Human Aliens, not all of the beings in this galaxy are.  Good Space Operas tend to have interesting aliens to populate the planets the characters travel to, further spicing up the environment.

For Star Wars, one need look no further than the cantina sequence in Mos Eisley.  The scene is filled with odd looking creatures, some of which even assault Luke.  Earlier on, there are the Jawas, a species of scavengers who are responsible for C-3PO and R2-D2 ending up in the hands of Luke in the first place.  But both of these examples are minor in comparison with the token alien of the team: Chewbacca.

Chewbacca is Han Solo’s copilot, and a Wookiee.  Large, furry, and unintelligible, Chewbacca’s contribution is invaluable, being the decoy prisoner, and the Big Guy of the team.  The Bruiser with a Soft Center Mr. Fixit, Chewbacca is presented as more than an alien, but a character who happens to be a different species as the rest of the cast.  He serves as a constant reminder of the ‘otherness’ of the galaxy, a constantly present ‘exotic’ creature to drive home the Space Opera atmosphere.  As the co-pilot and mechanic, it is also part of Chewbacca’s job to keep the iconic Millennium Falcon running, and fly her when Han is needed in the gun turrets.

Speaking of the ships:

Space must flow past the ports like wine from a pitcher.

The galaxy is a big place.  In order to move the plot forward, the characters need to get around, fast.  Unfortunately, space is so large that characters would likely die of old age before reaching anywhere interesting, so a faster method must be developed.

The problem of slow space travel has long been ‘fixed’ in science fiction stories since the ‘60s, with Star Trek’s warp drive being a prime example.  In Star Wars, a similar idea is used: that of the hyperdrive.

In order to get anywhere, the ships in Star Wars travel faster than light, enabling them to hop from location to location speedily, as well as engage in high-speed chases and dogfights.  Indeed, it is due to this that the Death Star is such a threat.  Being able to travel quickly, it could destroy multiple planets that much faster.

Using the hyperdrive, the Millennium Falcon is able to travel from Tatooine to the ruins of Alderaan, to Yavin 4 quickly, adding to the urgency and allowing the characters to keep moving.  As useful an invention the hyperdrive is, though, there’s more to the use of speed in space than just travel.

Star Wars ends, not with a sword fight or shootout, but with a dogfight.

The battle of the Death Star is a tense action sequence making up the climax of the film, reliant entirely on the forces of the Empire (flying TIE fighters) versus the Rebels (flying X-Wings and Y-Wings).  The fast pace and high stakes combine to make a tense ride, and an unforgettable ending.  Neither the Death Star trench run, nor the escape from Tatooine would be possible without the Handwave to physics, but in a Space Opera, it doesn’t matter.

All of this talk about stakes leads us right into the next line:

Blood must rain down the palace steps,

Victory does not come without a price.

Throughout Star Wars, lives are lost.  Owen and Beru, Luke’s Aunt and Uncle, are the first notable victims, although the death toll is surprisingly high.  Princess Leia’s entire planet is wiped out with one blow.  Obi-Wan Kenobi is killed, sacrificing himself to allow Luke and the others to escape the Death Star.  And the final Death Star trench run ends with a victory for the Rebel Alliance, but only after all but three of their ships (and pilots) are killed.  These deaths are not without purpose within the narrative, demonstrating the severity of the Empire’s threat, as well as serving as reminders that more peoples’ lives are at stake.  These horrible events push our heroes on, forcing them to always consider the cost as friends are lost.

There may not be a palace, but there certainly is bloodshed.

And ships launch out into the louring dark.

Spaceships, like mentioned above, are absolutely essential to the quintessential Space Opera.  They are beyond forms of transportation, they are characters in their own right.  From the Empire’s menacing Star Destroyer to Han Solo’s beat up freighter, each ship has its own unique look and ‘personality’.

Star Wars coded it’s ships in a very specific way.  The Empire’s ships are shiny and sharp.  They are grim and foreboding, all greys and blacks, well-put-together and dangerous looking.  From the tiny TIE fighters to the imposing Star Destroyers, the Empire’s fleet is both foreboding and numerous, a frightening force pitted against the small Rebel Alliance.

The Rebellion ships, on the other hand, look a bit different.  From the Tantive IV vessel to the tiny X-Wings, the ships of the good guys look a little more worn down, a ragtag assembly of ships that are utilized to the best of the Rebel’s ability to fight the Empire.  The X and Y-Wings are small but fast, evocative of our own fighter planes, bringing home the imagery of the space-dogfight.

But no ship says ‘personality’ like the Millennium Falcon.

The Millennium Falcon is, to quote Luke Skywalker, a ‘piece of junk’.  She looks awkward, clumsy, cobbled together, and at times, she doesn’t seem to work all that well.  The ship is easily recognizable, with a unique design, and she seems to have a personality of her own.  A faithful ship, despite her flaws, the Millennium Falcon is fast, very fast, and maneuverable.  It is her speed that makes Obi-Wan and Luke choose to hire Han and Chewbacca to pilot them, as the Falcon turns out to be quite a match for TIE fighters, and is able to outrun the Empire’s forces.  It is Han and Chewbacca flying this trusty hunk of junk in for a last-minute rescue that enables Luke to destroy the Death Star, cementing the Millennium Falcon as a ‘Hero’ ship.  In fact, it’s the Falcon’s speed that made a lot of the rescuing possible.  Speaking of which:

There must be a woman or man fairer than the skies,

This one depends on how attractive you find Han Solo, but in the story proper, the ‘fairer than the skies’ part seems to land to Princess Leia, the Damsel in Distress who is the one giving the quest in the first place.  However, Leia is a subversion of the typical Damsel and Quest Giver character, as being a leader in a Rebellion, she is no stranger to battle, and once rescued, takes charge, and gets in on the action.  Leia is beautiful, and it is remarked upon by Luke, but her royal station and her position as a prisoner does not stop her from being a Royal Who Actually Does Something, and is quick to take up a weapon to help fight her way out of the Death Star.  In the end, she is the beautiful Quest Giver, but Damsel in Distress?  Only slightly.

But we can’t talk about heroes, quests and battles without talking about the other side.

And a villain darker than a Black Hole.

Every Epic story needs a villain, and the bigger, the better.  The Dreaded Evil Overlord is a staple of the Space Opera genre, the very epitome of villainy.  In the case of Star Wars, thankfully, the villain bases are covered.

Besides the overarching evil that is the Empire in general, there are specific villains in the story for our heroes to overcome.  Grand Moff Tarkin, a cunning, proud military leader, is in charge of the Death Star.  He orders the destruction of Alderaan, and is a cold-blooded killer, also willing to terminate the captive Princess Leia.  He presses in on the Rebel Base with the Death Star, intending to wipe them out, and it is his pride and arrogance that keeps him from being concerned about his superweapon’s fatal flaw.

Despite how horrible Tarkin is, he is not our villain ‘darker than a Black Hole’.  That would be, of course, Darth Vader.

Darth Vader has long been heralded as one of the greatest villains of all time, and with good reason.  With an iconic, unique look (dressed head to foot in black armor, with a mask obscuring his face), Darth Vader, much like the rest of the Empire, is unquestionably evil, the epitome of darkness to contrast with Luke’s light.  Despite the fact that Tarkin commands the Death Star, Darth Vader’s power is greater.

Like Obi-Wan, Darth Vader is also a Force user, but one who uses its power for evil.  It is Darth Vader who tortures Leia for information (which she resists), and Darth Vader who strikes down Obi-Wan in the Death Star.  He is a foreboding enemy, and his skill with the Force, the lightsaber, and as a pilot is a triple threat to the Rebels.  He also plays a large part in the Death Star trench battle, picking off many Rebel pilots and nearly finishing Luke off as well.  Only Han Solo’s last-minute entry into the battle stops him, sending Vader careening off into the galaxy, defeated, but not destroyed.

Unlike most variations of the villains of Space Operas, Vader does not stick close to his base.  He ventures out, actively hunting down and destroying the Rebels.  He commands his officers, but seems to answer to the Emperor himself, setting up the idea that he may not be the Evil Overlord he seems to be (revealed to be the case in later films).  Darth Vader is incredibly dangerous, however, cunning and powerful, and it is telling that, at the end, he is not destroyed with the Death Star, but merely taken out of action for the time being, indicating that he will return.

But although Darth Vader isn’t entirely vanquished, the day is still won.

And all must come right in the end.

Although Luke’s family is gone, Leia’s planet destroyed, Obi-Wan dead, most of the Rebel Fleet destroyed, and Darth Vader still out there, there is still a Happy Ending.  The Death Star has been demolished, proving that the Empire is not invincible, and Grand Moff Tarkin has gone with it.  The Rebel Alliance survives to fight another day.  Luke Skywalker has found his destiny and become a hero, pulling together his band to do so.  Han Solo managed to find a selfless side, joining the fight as well.  Leia has been rescued and can return to helping lead the Rebellion’s fight against the Empire for the future.  There is a New Hope for the galaxy.

Star Wars, like most Space Operas, is an idealistic story.  The villains are defeated, the heroes are triumphant.  Good wins over evil.  It’s a good ending, a happy ending, well-earned by our heroes.

The ending doesn’t feel saccharine, either.  It is a hard-won victory, and many lives have been lost.  It is an against-all-odds victory, one not without cost, but thanks to the courage and sacrifice of people who believe in freedom, the Rebellion has a fighting chance, and the Empire is that much closer to destruction.  It’s a Happy Ending, and more importantly, it’s the right ending, perfectly matching the tone and characters of the rest of the film.

Star Wars is not about how the hyperdrive works, or the technology required to build the Death Star.  It’s not about how humanity contends with it’s own creations, or how we live in a technologically advanced society.  In fact, it’s not really about ‘humanity’ at all.  It’s just about people.

Star Wars is a fantasy epic set against a backdrop of stars, set a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  It’s about good vs. evil, about the defeat of tyranny.  It’s about a heroic farm boy, a rogue smuggler, and a brave princess.  It’s about heroes and villains, magic and battles.  It’s a fairy tale.

All of the above comes together to make Star Wars the definitive Space Opera.  Every point is perfect, every element in place, so much so that it seems paint-by-numbers.  But it’s not.

Star Wars relies on tropes that are almost as old as stories themselves, but it all feels fresh and new.  By developing interesting worlds, compelling characters, and a moving conflict, Star Wars managed to rise above the standard, taking the term ‘Space Opera’ and turning it into a defining subgenre, rather than an insult.

Star Wars single handedly changed a genre thanks to its earnest storytelling and characters, proving definitively that Tropes Are Not Bad, and that any story, no matter how ‘old’ it is, can still be made something fresh and beloved.

Don’t forget that the ask box is always open for anything from suggestions and discussion ideas to questions and conversations!  Thank you guys so much for reading, and I hope to see you guys in the next article.