#thesis journey

[salvadorbonaparte]

And so it begins...

[aqyasdini]

Tentang Tesisku: Kesepian pada Anak-anak dan Remaja

Dua orang mengirimiku tulisan ini yang dikutip dari sini.

Pertama, aku merasa senang karena mereka mengingatku setelah membaca ini. Kemungkinan besar karena aku sedang meneliti tentang kesepian pada remaja sebagai topik penelitian tesisku.

Kedua, aku merasa bersemangat kembali untuk mengulik tentang kesepian ini, apalagi melihat bahwa orang lain juga cukup relate dengan pengalaman kesepian di masa kecil. Besar kemungkinan bahwa pengalaman tersebut juga berlanjut di masa remaja, kan? Bahkan, beberapa orang juga berkomentar bahwa kesepian tersebut tidak lantas "menghilang" di masa dewasa, melainkan sesuai dengan apa yang tertulis di gambar di atas : they often settle for emotional loneliness in their relationships because it feels normal to them.

Aku menjadi bersemangat karena permasalahan yang sedang aku soroti berarti merupakan sesuatu masalah yang nyata, setidaknya dilihat dari respon orang-orang yang ada di kolom komentar. Meskipun belum menjadi fenomena yang sudah lebih banyak dibahas, seperti halnya kecemasan ataupun depresi, kesepian juga menjadi sesuatu yang layak untuk didiskusikan secara terbuka.

Aku menjadi bersemangat karena aku merasa penelitianku akan dapat menyumbangkan sesuatu yang bermakna bagi orang lain. Aku merasa dapat memberikan manfaat melalui penelitianku. Perasaan yang setelah aku refleksikan lebih dalam bersinggungan erat dengan belief yang kumiliki, yaitu aku harus melakukan sesuatu yang bermanfaat.

Ketiga, berbicara lebih lanjut tentang kesepian, teori menyebutkan bahwa kesepian bisa dikategorikan menjadi kesepian secara sosial dan emosional. Jika kesepian sosial lebih berhubungan dengan kuantitas interaksi sosial atau jumlah teman/relasi yang dimiliki, kesepian emosional lebih berhubungan dengan kualitas interaksi sosial atau kebermaknaan suatu hubungan yang dimiliki individu.

Membaca tulisan tentang kesepian emosional di atas, aku jadi bertanya-tanya, apa yang bisa dilakukan untuk membantu anak-anak dan remaja yang mengalami kesepian secara emosional? Apakah intervensi yang akan aku berikan di penelitianku juga dapat membantu mereka secara emosional?

Sejauh ini, melalui penelitianku, rencananya aku akan mengajarkan cara coping yang adaptif secara emosional, seperti relaksasi dan imagery. Selain itu, format terapi yang akan dilaksanakan secara berkelompok ini diharapkan dapat memberikan sense of belonging untuk mereka yang merasa emotionally lonely. Aku juga berharap proses dalam kelompok dapat membuat mereka merasakan hubungan positif dengan teman sebayanya. Hopefully.

[elodieunderglass]

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

[stargatelov3r]

GUESSED WHO FINISHED WRITING THEIR THESIS

[valarinde]

Do you know what the last sentence of this poem is? MY JOURNEY TO YOU (云之羽)

[herinsectreflection]

It belongs to the Slayer.

(Faith & Buffy / sharing weapons)

[zimszim]

the doctor, faced with the loss of ruby, immediately trusts what rogue says is true (the doctor doesn't know much about these creatures, has never seen them before, has to ask him what age they lived to), and doesn't waste a second to investigate further with the fact that there is no way to save her, bring her back, or even confirm that she's dead. he instead waltzs in to enact his form of justice and when it is revealed that no, ruby sunday is not dead, but she will be as good as by the doctor because of his punishment. his overbearing grief of ruby, his GUILT that he did not save her made him reckless. in him condemning these creatures to a certain type of hell, he would've taken ruby straight there with them. they are only saved by this brave person he's just met, saved from his mistakes. i'm so sick of losing people. oh that is so doctor of him

[thefeastandthefast]

"Yes, every tool has their place, he thinks. You and I will try to build this land with shovel and plow, needle and loom, with ink and paper and pigment. But if there comes a time we must guard the kingdom from its king, we reach for the blade."

[lettersfromn0where]

Himmel is the kind of person who finds fun in the everyday stuff of life no matter what, and we know he had a busy and much-loved life after the Hero Party disbanded, but thinking about how lonely it must have felt to leave this party he cherished at the end of their journey and strike out alone for the first time in his life makes me want to curl up and sob

[identitty-dickruption]

just spent an hour fleshing out my "disability in the bible" point in my thesis and. like. it's only really an aside as it is. but the pull of biblical studies is once again so so strong. rip

[salvadorbonaparte]

Normal postgrad research

[neat-deadandlive-things]

Thesis written

Coffee made

Strange inspirational sticky notes put up

Guess who's thesis will be submitted by the end of the week!

[fisheito]

What is this weirdly feelyweely status exclusive to yakumo

[stargatelov3r]

Eyyyy guess who just reached the minimum word requirement for their thesis!!!

[bununuu]

just a note that you can read Siegfried's Journey, 1916-1920 (published 1945) on the Internet Archive! https://archive.org/embed/in.ernet.dli.2015.209620 this is the vol where he talks about his relationship with Wilfred (on p. 58-76ish)

apparently people took some offense at the time to how he described Wilfred, but honestly i think it's really sweet :(((

[the-monkey-ruler]

My theory is that Wukong was laying it on thick because he was guilty and ashamed of how his actions led to the death of so many of his monkeys and he knows fighting Erlang in revenge would be futile anyway. Make friends with Erlang to hopefully stay his hand in the future. I feel sorry for Wukong to be honest because I don’t think he killed anyone in Heaven unless I misremembered. Oh and I could see Erlang being the type whose a good son who is good to humans but he didn’t see the monkey demons as his equals which would’ve made it easier for him to enact the revenge.

I personally think something different.

First I'm like 90% sure that Wukong definitely killed celestial soldiers. We don't get any gory details unlike with the property he writes about killing demons but he was in war and did treat 100,000 more as canon fodder in his way rather than actual battles so that has to be taken to interpretation.

Erlang Shen is such a complex character with a varied past and history but when it comes to who he is as Yang Jian is fascinating how he could view himself or heaven. He was birthed to his mother, someone whose job was to help gods hone their emotions and fall in love with a mortal, thus having him and his siblings. He loses more than half of his family in a single day, his older brother, his father, and his mother, leaving both him and his sister to be on the run from heaven. And from there while a lot of stories show that he saved his mom he was still under heaven's rule as he and his sister take their right to heaven by force even if they are seen as lesser than.

Erlang is the one fighting heaven's rule and is still considered 'unruly' as he doesn't even live in heaven. He sees someone like himself, Sun Wukong fighting for his place in heaven and demanding to be recognized. But the difference is that while Erlang Shen can see similarities with Sun Wukong he also sees faults. He knows that Wukong isn't going to stop, even when he does get what he wants until he is putting all of heaven and earth in danger for the sake of his arrogance.

And I think there is this common theme of Erlang Shen seeing himself in his enemies and making them even MORE determined to break them. In Lotus Lantern he sees his sister doing the same act their mother did, and sees that she is risking everything putting his husband, herself, and now their newborn son in danger for what he considers a selfish act. He has been the hero in so many tales but it's only when it's personal does he stand as the villain, becoming the same thing that he once fought against because he thought THIS IS FOR THE BEST. That this is right and that Yang Chan should have learned from their mother better and that Liu Chenxiang needs to learn he isn't going to get his way.

And I think he feels similar to Wukong, seeing someone he relates to and feels responsible for being the one to shut them down. That the harsher the punishment the more likely that they will not get back up again. They will stay down and accept things how they are rather than asking for more.

I don't think Erlang Shen would look down on the monkey demons as he doesn't show he looks down on Wukong, at least for not being a Yao. Rather he thought that it was deserved for Wukong to learn, to lose his family just as he did if that meant Wukong would finally stop. It might not be said but I think Erlang was very emotional during the whole ordeal, enough to push him to these extremes.

That is were things get really interesting!

And Wukong, rather than holding a grudge, forgives Erlang. For whatever reasons he has I think that he never wanted it to come to that but he isn't willing to try to act for vengeance again. They have both fought heaven, they have both got titles they wanted but neither got what they really wanted. Erlang being his family back and Wukong being everything he thought he deserved. One accepted with what they got and they other kept pushing for more. But in the end, I think Wukong was the one to really understand what it means to let go and to grow as a person, not by rejecting past mistakes but by accepting them and living with them.

Wukong wouldn't call killing his family a great kindness and this is where the theory that Erlang Shen prologued the burning of Flower Fruit Mountain to give the remaining monkeys time to hide from the fire under the bridge. Some even said that Erlang Shen was the one to protect the monkey to a certain point until Wukong was released giving up his duties as the monkey said that only in the last two years when Wukong came back were they being hunted.

Nothing is really cut and dry and considering that this is a very old story may be subtle hints of what really transpired are overlooked or lost in translation but I do think that both Erlang Shen and Sun Wukong have a great amount of respect for one another and while they were so similar they were almost too alike in that they could see their own flaws on the other, making the rivalry even more intense and more dramatic.