#thesearemydetectivesocks

[caterjunes]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your photo: I bake pies and raise the dead; I live a very...

!!! very cute

aw shucks

[thentherewasfury]

jackie/wade hp au. or alternatively an elder scrolls au. because reasons.

you say “elder scrolls” and i get stars in my eyes. three-sentence rule what three-sentence rule?

The Black Horse Courier route is as cushy as a daedroth is cuddly: it’s a cross-province trek at top speed in all weather, and Jackie spends a lot of nights bedded down in Bury’s stall because she doesn’t trust that he’ll still be there in the morning otherwise. Most of the innkeepers understand, at least, and only charge her half price, but the Council picks up the tab for the board anyway.

She’s small and thin enough that they keep her on the Green Road track through Sun’s Height, and she tolerates it because that keeps her out of Bruma and Chorrol during the winter. The Nords don’t like Bosmer any more than they do the other elves, and they hate the Dunmer, so her status as a cross-breed doesn’t do her any favors. And amongst the Argonians and Khajiit  she can call herself Jackie, not Jack, without such a cold current of fear in her blood. She gets less time in Cheydinhal during the winter too, on account of the cold, which she doesn’t mind. Full-blooded Dunmer tend realize how far they have to look down at her when she’s not on horseback and get even more aloof.

The Gold Road is fine. Just… it’s fine. Skingrad’s as prissy as they come, and Kvatch isn’t much better, but the Anvil docks are full of raucous, interesting sorts, and the weather is good and the road is safer and easier than tracking through the mountains, so she doesn’t complain.

The Imperial City, though – that’s her home. She doesn’t trust Snak gra-Bura any further than she could throw her, but there are other stablehands who seems less likely to snack on Bury: there’s Winston, the ugliest high elf she’s ever seen, and Regan, a full-blooded Bosmer who clearly likes horses better than people and doesn’t care who knows it.

There’s also Wade. He’s nothing – a wannabe theater performer who bartends at The Feed Bag and sometimes hauls boxes around the waterfront while he waits for the economy to pull itself out of the gutter so theaters will start looking for talent. He’s fine. He’s nice. He’s pretty – Altmer-pretty, Altmer and Dunmer, another cross-breed. Owns a tiny shack down on the waterfront, tidy for all its smallness, has a habit of fostering Thieves Guild members who fall too far onto the wrong side of the law. He’s never going to go anywhere. And he’s always warm, day and night, even when there’s snow on the ground and she’s frozen to the bone. He wants to get a blessing from the Lucky Old Lady statue someday, and to meet M’aiq the Liar, and to watch the sunset from the Anvil lighthouse: silly, romantic wishes, and sometimes she almost says yes, sure, let’s go, but-

But there’s never enough money, never enough time to go away, because there are always taxes due, and Bury needs new shoes, and the Council is mandating that this issue get out now, so help them, Count Kvatch needs to know this (not that she’s ever met Count or Countess of anything – she gets the stewards, sometimes, more often a message runner with snot dripping from their nose and welts on their spine). The Black Horse Courier never has enough riders; there’s always a chance that, next week, a playhouse might have an open spot.

Wade’s not going anywhere, but she always is. If she’s lucky, she gets three nights out of a week in the City – more likely two, sometimes just one during the spring and fall, when she’s riding most or all of the circuit. There are things she’d like to promise about a someday, but she doesn’t want to lie, not to him – she already lies to everyone: Jack, just a stunted Dunmer, not a half-breed; the horse is a nag, he’s not worth anything, don’t take him, don’t touch me.

[pizzafelony]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: piesaltandscars replied to your post: ...

HE WAS SHAVING HIS LEGS AND I WASNT EVEN THAT SHOCKED BUT HE APPARENTLY DIDNT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW SO HE GAVE ME A DEATH GLARE AND I CRIED AND HEGRABBED ME BY THE COLLAR AND ORDERED ME TO CLEAN THE ATTIC AND IT WAS SO INTENSE

PIP WHAT EVEN GOES ON IN YOUR BRAIN WTF

[cloverhoney]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: B(

u okay, hun?

yeAh i'm ok 

[amingusamongus]

Legend of Zelda Business Model

1. Break Pots

2. ????

3. PROFIT

[birdadjacent]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post “[[MOR] i ran out of my antidepressants and my refill hasn’t arrived...”

:( im sorry. that sounds really rough. im in a situation where i can sort of fumble through without my anxiety medicine but thats just because im having a good run atm. v__v i hope things run as smooth as possible for you.

so like i have three jobs this semester, and i'm writing my thesis, and i'm having the sort of existential crisis that used to send me into panic attacks all the time and i was rly proud of myself becaus i thought i was handling this all remarkably well?

i think today has proven that it's not me, it's the meds helping me through it (which, like, i know is nothing to be ashamed of) but still

i just hope nothing upsetting happens before my meds come in the mail

and i hope things keep running smoothly for you too!! i had a while when i ran out of my antianxiety medication and i was pretty much in the same situation as you are right now so i feel u

[deathnoting]

breaking story: aiber spurs identity crises among teens

[gemrys]

piesaltandscars said: almost two hours. SO PROUD OF YOU  thesearemydetectivesocks said: *pats* im so proud of you but omg

*pOUTS* IM SO MAD ThA T WAS SO DUMB IM SO TIRED I Can T BELIEVE SOME OF THE THINGS I RESORTED TO IN THAT GAME

IM A CHANGED PERSON

[humandisastersquad]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: ...

dude omg thats cool. i wish i could go lower than my “low voice” my range is basically “kinda low. average. high. and mouse noises”

yeah idk with my voice it goes all over the place although one thing i cannot do is sing, eSPECIALLY high notes like my voice actually cracks at a pretty low threshold compared to some people like just about all of my irl friends who sing for the choir what even

[caterjunes]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your photo: hello friends i am here

i like your smile crinkles uwu

omg

thanks ^uuu^

[thentherewasfury]

A Big Fuckin' Post of Yogi Photos

awww lookat the cute little dodoheads - i think this was from february or march-ish? (wow my hand looks really nice here good job self)

ignore the shitty excuses for paddocks this was our old barn and i love the people but they didn't have enough room for sixty fucking horses

he's at a better barn now you'll see in a minute

what's that song? gurl look at that body? idk

he's such a cutie patootie don't look at me

*gross zombie noises* bugabooooooooooooo

oh this is great i love this one BODY SHOT PRE-MUD-PUDDLE (look at that shiny coat do you know who did that i did that BOOM)

aaaaand post-mud-puddle (note the saddle in the corner of the shot because i was supposed to be riding in twenty minutes goddamnlfgnfdklgndfl)

look at him and tony being bros they were so cute until tony bit him

the next thing i would put up is that video i stuck at the end of mud with him in the field - don't worry i have photos too, and he's also out of that barn because they weren't taking care of him properly and i decided i wasn't leaving my goddamn world with them for nine months when i was 2,500 miles away

HE WAS SO HAPPY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH A WHOLE FIELD IT WAS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING EVER

oh god i just found all the pictures from the fourth of july all the bb trainers were half-wasted and half-high and pretending to be sober it was great

this is at the barn where he is now with his summer coat all filled in, nomming on lunch

monstah :3

my friend flo made him a nameplate is that the coolest shit or the coolest shit

i'm gonna show you the one i just got sent the other day and then i'm gonna go cry because i miss him so much AND HE APPARENTLY WATCHES THE BARN ENTRANCE ALL THE TIME WHEN HE'S IN HIS STALL WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT I WANNA GO HOME

look how fast his winter coat filled in he's so

i'm so

*runs 2,500 miles home to him, sobbing the whole way*

[pizzafelony]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: i had the nicest dream last night and im still...

i had a dream levi made me clean an attic where a titan was who tried to tell me a knock knock joke and i cried

whAT

pip

why

[cloverhoney]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: ...

OMG PLS also yeah i keep SEEING NEW SCREENCAPS OF IT AND IT LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER THAN IT DID WHEN I WAS INTO IT OMG

ye ah the art got nicer but the humor and stuff is the same 

[amingusamongus]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your post: thesearemydetectivesocks ...

practically tumblr famous

One day I may get there. If only I had the charm, wit, or luck of those mighty people, those gods of Tumblr.

[birdadjacent]

thesearemydetectivesocks replied to your photo “i went to the store to get chocolate covered pretzels but they didn’t...”

omg perf

i finished it

i regret my life choices

[dairykings]

oh no