#these will be available on my shop when i get back from finland!

[mortiscausa]

young gawain riding gringalot, copper plate etch

[jokeroutsubs]

ENG translation: If we believed that we were "kings", that wouldn't be us

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin for Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published on 24.12.2023. Audio version by IG GBoleyn123

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Lucijan Zalokar for Delo; photos by Jože Suhadolnik; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

With Bojan Cvjetićanin about the international breakthrough of Joker Out, the movie Kaj pa Ester?, about life on the road, football, sociology…

I met up with Bojan Cvjetićanin in Ljubljana's Stegne industrial zone, where the members of the popular pop rock (in their jargon: shagadelic rock'n'roll) group Joker Out created a rehearsal space for themselves two years ago. "Lately we've been on the road a lot, but this is still a great second home. If only you knew about the parties that happened here. There were fifty people dancing downstairs," he proudly looked from a small gallery towards the space that measures approximately thirty square metres. Even though the clock had just struck three in the afternoon, the 24-year-old Ljubljana resident had a long day behind him, which had been entirely dedicated to media obligations.

In journalistic circles, we often hear indignation about how modern day influencers - especially those who had gained their influence on social media - have no books on their shelves. Joker Out are first and foremost musicians, of course, but with 150,000 followers (Bojan's personal profile has 190,000) on Instagram, we can count them among the big Slovenian influencers. And there are plenty of books on their shelves.

I don't want to falsely portray the popular fivesome as enlightened donors to the Slovenian literary market: most of the books resemble those you can buy for little money in second-hand bookshops, or even get for free at library write-offs, but they still deserve praise for both the aesthetic sense and the content.

I also don't want to falsely portray the books as the only notable objects in the rehearsal space. There are also the golden plate for the Eurovision single Carpe Diem, which got over two million streams in Finland, a transfusion bag (Rh-) that Tomi Meglič¹, Cvjetićanin's biggest teenage idol, personally brought to them, and a small shop's worth of props given to them by fans: pillows with hand-embroidered patterns, plushies, bras with Instagram accounts written on them, various sweets, you could even find a vinyl from a Soviet cover band of The Beatles. If things continue like that, they soon won't have any space left for instruments, but those are just sweet worries. Joker Out, who were formed in 2016, are currently conquering Europe in a way that the Slovenian music scene has never seen before.

¹frontman of Siddharta, whose third album was called Rh-

I've heard that you approach your job with the utmost professionalism and that you wake up at five in the morning for media obligations.

That's true, today we started early in the morning in Maribor. The first few hours were the most tiring because we were constantly changing locations and driving around the city. After the third or fourth activity, we relaxed a little because we got to the studio. After that, everyone started coming to us instead of the other way around.

Slovenian cinemas have started playing the movie Kaj pa Ester? in which you play a boy who enrolled in high school just to get close to his ex girlfriend again. Did you have any problems with trying to get into the high school mentality?

We filmed the movie two years ago, when my memories of high school were much more fresh than they are today. But on the other hand, I played a boy who had just finished the ninth grade of primary school, so I had to put myself into the shoes of a primary school kid, which is much harder. We're also pretty different personality-wise. But almost the entire cast was around the same age, so too old. We joked about that a lot during filming.

Still, that's nothing unusual in the movie world.

Of course, there are 35-year-olds starring in High School Musical and no one is complaining.

Could you draw any parallels between a musical stage performance and filming a movie? You have to play a kind of role during a concert too...

I have to admit that it's completely different. On stage, I never feel like I'm performing. Of course I am actually performing, but I'm still in the role of myself, Bojan, whereas in the movie, I'm someone completely different. It might be easier to compare filming a movie with recording music in the studio, but there are big differences there as well. The biggest one is that for a movie, the director has the main and the final say. You have to trust him. When you film a scene, you don't even see what you've filmed for a long time. The movie in which I play one of the main roles will be played in cinemas, and I don't even know what I will look like on the big screen. It's different with music, because us authors listen to the songs a hundred times, a thousand times; we're the ones who make all the final decisions. That's quite a mental leap, but I didn't have too many problems with it, because I knew the previous projects of that team. V dvoje ('In a tandem') is my favourite Slovenian TV series. On the other hand, I needed time to get used to this new method of working. If I asked to see the scene we'd filmed one more time, but the director said it was good, we kept filming without hesitation.

You said that on stage, you are always in the role of yourself. Does the nature of that role change from concert to concert? And what influences it? The audience, the outfit…

The outfit has an influence for sure. More than I initially thought. Lately we've been playing with our stage look a lot and looking for the right combination. I currently find that the outfit suits me very well, it's just the shoes that bother me because they're too rigid. I have to change them. They're huge and massive, which makes me feel like I'm clumsily marching around the stage, whereas during rehearsals I wear sneakers and I'm therefore a lot more in the mood for dancing.

What about the language you sing in? Many people say that they feel as if by switching between different languages, they are also switching between their personalities.

I agree. When you change the language, your voice has a different colour and register, you come up with different jokes than in your mother tongue. If I lead a concert in Slovenian, Serbian, or English, I'm a different dude every time. This is also influenced by my notion that each time, I'm performing for a different group of people who are connected by a certain mentality. In Slovenia, I'm performing as a local for locals, and I feel like there are different "game rules" than for example in Croatia or Serbia. Elsewhere, I feel like I don't even think about this.

How did you get the idea to start creating and singing in English? You already broke through internationally with Slovenian.

Us creating in foreign languages isn't so much a result of wanting to break through internationally and the mentality that only English ensures global success. If we thought that way, we wouldn't have gone to Eurovision with a Slovenian song. We're primarily driven by a desire to learn new things, to push the boundaries... In the studio, it's similar to being on the stage. If you change the language, you're not only a different person on stage, but also inside your head. Your creativity is different. Playing with languages is actually also playing with your own creativity, because you enter a different space, a different mentality. The song Sunny Side of London could not have been made if we hadn't mentally transported ourselves to an English-speaking space. We want many more projects like that, not necessarily in English.

Can you be more specific? What kind of mentality do you associate Sunny Side of London with?

That song is a sort of homage to all the people who have suddenly become part of our story. Sunny Side of London has nothing to do with London as such. I was looking for a name of a well-known place with which to name all our concerts, and I decided on London.

The first time I said the words Are you guys real? – Is this really happening, are you really here and singing our songs? – on the stage, certain English phrases snuck into my mind. What the hell is going on? and so on. We also experienced, for the first time, foreigners coming up to us and talking about their own experiences connected to our music. That was something completely new for us. We listened to all those stories in English, as our fans of course can't speak Slovenian, even though they can sing our Slovenian lyrics. Sunny Side of London therefore emerged as a collection of all the experiences and stories that fans told us after gigs.

You've already touched on fans who sing your lyrics by heart from Finland to Spain. Could you highlight the nation with the best ear for the Slovenian language?

On the latest tour, when we visited Lithuania, Poland, Czechia and Croatia, there were moments when I felt like I was singing in Slovenia. In Prague, I filmed the audience singing Umazane misli without me. As if I were in Križanke, for example. But it's even more fascinating that people sing well in England and Nordic countries too. It's understandable that our Slavic brothers have the best ear for Slovenian, but northerners aren't far off either.

How much of your international success do you attribute to the Eurovision performance?

A huge amount.

If you had to express it in a percentage?

99.9.

Really?

Definitely. It was an incredible catapult. Whenever I ask the audience at our international concerts if anyone was already with us before Eurovision, a few hands shoot up every time, but those are rare exceptions.

How do you explain the fact that you finished in the relatively humble 21st place in Liverpool, but your visibility still grew in leaps and bounds?

We were very, very, very dedicated to the Eurovision project. We put a lot of time and energy into demonstrating to the people who were open to it that we weren't just a three-minute performance, but very much an existing band that has made many songs and that lives on stage. With time, and of course in connection with the Eurovision performance, more and more listeners got to know that. We clearly showed them: we are here, we are real, try it, connect with us.

Because they had so much different content available, this actually happened. I think it was also because they saw that Joker Out really was made out of five completely regular dudes from Slovenia who live a totally normal life, and at the same time we make music and have a great time doing it. That is already a slight deviation from what's been happening recently, when we're being bombarded from all sides by messages that we need to distance ourselves from each other, that we have to hate each other...

That was the sociologist in you talking.

That's true. The atmosphere in society nowadays is such that it emphasises individuality more than building a team. Young people, however, need and want to be part of a community. And we offered them that chance.

Where does your interest in social sciences come from? Your father is a gynecologist, your mother a pediatrician, and you have a degree in sociology.

I had a very good professor in high school. If you wanted to listen to him, he offered a lot of knowledge. Even though sociologists often think about society in an abstract way, the subject always felt tangible to me. I recognised it in very concrete life situations that I was trying to understand. At my final exams, I did a great job with sociology with very little effort – and then made a mistake and enrolled in economics. I wavered between those two options from the start, and in the end, what tipped the scales were the warnings of many people I knew that sociology doesn't have good employment prospects. I gave in to the pressure and very quickly realised I had made the wrong decision. I gave up on economics after the first semester. That was when I seriously threw myself into the band, we made Gola, and then I transferred to sociology and there was happiness all around.

You clearly won't work as a sociologist for a while yet, if ever...

But I am a sociologist.

In your soul?

No, as my profession. Us musicians are sociologists. A lot of sociological terms could easily be transferred into our environment. Locale, for example. In third year, the professor asked me several times: Well, Cvjetićanin, if you have a concert, is that locale or something else? And then I said it was locale and started rambling on. (laughter)

So you are a singing sociologist?

Exactly.

How do you explain the success of Joker Out from a sociological point of view? How do your songs address the zeitgeist?

I write the lyrics exclusively based on stories that really happened. Not necessarily to me, but to people I love. Therefore, I have a strong emotional relationship with the subject matter. My opinion is that there will always be people who will connect with the story if it's real. Because it's easiest for us to connect with real emotions. Our songs are love songs, they talk about finding yourself and personal growth, some are socially critical... I think that I have managed to find the right balance between being direct and being poetic.

I'll word it differently. The Beatles already sang about love and personal growth. And they weren't the first ones by far. Later on, those same themes were covered by hundreds of successful bands and an infinite number of slightly less successful ones.

I think that nowadays, we most often associate societal changes with technological development. Technological advances largely dictate the rhythm of our life. But those advances are mostly just a substitute for something that already existed in the past. The basic emotions have therefore certainly stayed the same. Love, fear, hatred... I think that the use of language is very important here. Even though the emotions don't change, the way we put them into words does. In music, too. I don't sing about a topic the same way my peers would have in the 1970s. Consequentially, our relationship with emotions is changing and evolving as well. As if our entire society is gravitating towards the point of holding the belief that it's better for an individual to feel less and less, and in a more and more censored way.

On the one hand, excessive use of social media and other media causes us to feel like distinct individuals. On the other hand, it connects us to the world and places us into a very wide picture. In every moment, we are only a click away from becoming cosmopolitan and being able to access all the information, events, and people, but at the same time, that's exactly what reminds us that we are a small and actually not very important dot on this planet. The magnitude of everything that's constantly available to us makes us feel small. I think that we mostly listen to, watch, and use those who manage to poke the spot that unnerves people the most in this context. If performers manage to break through the firewall of someone's VPN, then those people will also show their interest in an analogue way. Otherwise, they will only be a swipe away.

And now a question that's more psychological than sociological: do you ever try to get into the heads of the people who time and again show their interest in very analogue ways?

I have an infinite appreciation for their dedication, because for myself, I don't see the chance of a phenomenon exciting me so much that I would be ready to dedicate so much time and love to it.

So you've never been a very hardcore fan?

If, at twelve years old, I had to highlight one musicians that I would've wanted to meet more than anyone in the world, that would definitely have been Tomi Meglič. That hasn't changed to this day. The only difference is that we meet up with Tomi and we're friends. I still feel the highest possible level of respect for him. Every time he calls me, I am extremely proud of myself. But I still cannot imagine going to, say, Berlin tomorrow if Siddharta were playing there and I had a free day. I'd go to Maribor or Zagreb, but absolutely not across all of Europe the way the biggest fans do. Not even at twelve. I could sooner imagine that at that age, a football match rather than a concert would be the thing that excited me beyond all reason.

We're probably talking about two groups of celebrities that get worshipped as deities by the masses in Western society: footballers and pop and rock musicians. And this is probably linked to emotions again.

True. The thing that wakes up a person's sense of smell, sight, and all other emotions that overcame them as a child, is what has the best possibility of succeeding.

Now please explain how this is connected to football.

If I go to a concert by Siddharta, Big Foot Mama, Magnifico, I turn into a ten-year-old kid who will explode from happiness. There's no Bojan anymore. He gets lost. It's the same with football. When I watch it, I dream about how I played for Slovan² as a kid and what I wanted more than anything was to score a goal and for everyone in the stands to yell: Yeeeees!

²ND Slovan is a football club from Ljubljana

You don't score goals, but you are in a similar position that Tomi Meglič used to be in.

All the band members come from very loving families that have always provided us with a very good support system and instilled basic values in us that we internalised deeply. That is why everything that's currently happening around us hasn't gone to our heads in a way that would make us think that we're bigger or more important than anyone else. If we started believing that we were "kings" because everyone was clapping for us and singing our songs, that would probably be a very strong feeling, but that simply wouldn't be us. We mostly love to see all the people, because we know how much we mean to them and how much they mean to us. Without them, we wouldn't be able to focus on what's most important to us – our music. On the other hand, I can say with a thousand percent certainty that I would easily and happily do my job if I was performing at venues like Cankarjev dom. So, in front of a calmer audience, without unreal hype.

But what I would like most in the world is to turn into a footballer for ten seconds and score a goal at an important match. You know why? Because that is the biggest adrenaline hit that exists. When we perform on various stages, there's mayhem around us for two hours straight. But in football, when a goal is scored, that happens in a millisecond. You go from nothing into total chaos. Everyone loses their minds. I'd love to experience that. Well, I did – much like everyone who played football in primary school. When I scored a goal for Slovan and a hundred people in the stands clapped for me, I felt like I was on Maracanã. Imagine what it would be like to experience that on the real Maracanã.

It's interesting that you highlighted a loving and stable family background. Many of the biggest pop and rock stars in the world grew up in a diametrally opposite environment. From John Lennon and Janis Joplin to Prince and Rihanna. There are actually so many of them that we can talk about a pattern.

I know, because I love to read their (auto)biographies, and I agree with your assessment that their family circumstances are fundamentally different than ours. That is always my answer to the question when someone wants to know how debauched our tours are. When I tell them that we mostly drink water and tea on the road, they just can't believe it. But it's the truth, because we've realised three things. First, we enjoy what we do immensely, and from the experiences of many musicians, we know that you can almost definitely forget about a long career if you start doing everything that we perceive as the proverbial rock'n'roll lifestyle. A band like that breaks up sooner or later, either because of frayed nerves, or exploding egos, or because of money. Second, we've all had to go to work hungover and we know very well that it's unbearable. I especially can't imagine how we could stay healthy and keep our strength and our voice if we were constantly hungover on the road. In that case, the only short-term solution is drugs, which we fortunately [knocks on wood] don't do. And third: I'm sure that you have a much better time on stage if you're aware that you are on it.

Your international breakthrough doesn't have a precedent among Slovenian musicians. Would you dare to point out where the difference is, why you made it and not for example Siddharta, who had filled Bežigrad stadium and later did not hide their international ambitions?

We have to understand that Siddharta didn't have the chance to perform at a festival like Eurovision. It's hard to understand what it means for 160 million people to watch you. That is a bizzarely huge number. All this happened in the time of social media, and we had set up a pretty good mechanism in that area even before Eurovision, and then also used it, whereas Siddharta established itself as a band in the time of analogue media. I can't even imagine how it would've been possible to break through abroad from Slovenia at that time. Because even we are already – even though some things have opened up for us very nicely and we've been joined by the right people – finding out how much of an investment going international demands. Dreams of megalomanical earnings and a luxurious life brought on by a European tour shatter quickly. Even when you start filling up venues, you stay in a kind of hustle mode. You fight. Unfortunately, the costs in the music business are so high that performing abroad is more or less just for promotion for a long time.

You're probably thinking of logistical costs?

Yes. Some of my colleagues have total misconceptions about our earnings. They think that we're literally swimming in money, while we actually earn what amounts to a normal salary.

In March next year you will have eighteen concerts. You will start in Helsinki and end in Milan. How will you travel?

With a tour bus. We've rented it twice so far: for the UK tour and for the tour around Lithuania, Poland, and Czechia. There are beds on it, so we can sleep while driving from one concert to the next. The tourbus is prohibitively expensive, you pay almost half of your royalties for it, but it's the only way for a musician with such a packed schedule to survive in the long run. Sometimes people ask me why we don't travel with a van instead, but you have to understand that we sometimes have concerts two days in a row and the venues are 800 kilometres apart. If we spent all night in an uncomfortable van, then looked for a hotel in the morning and so on, we might be able to endure it for a week, but definitely not all month.

Do you ever sleep in a hotel?

Only on free days.

Will the March tour be your most exhausting one so far?

It will definitely be one of the more exhausting ones, but I am definitely happy that we will be able to sleep on a tour bus. We haven't been on a month-long tour yet, so it's hard to predict anything, but on the Nordic tour this year we played six concerts in five days, because we had two concerts in one day in Helsinki. We didn't have a tour bus there, we flew instead. That meant that after the concert, we got to the hotel at midnight, then we had to be at the airport at three in the morning, a few hours later we were already at the new location, we napped for two hours on a couch, had a soundcheck – rinse and repeat for five days in a row.

Let's not talk only about the negative sides of tours…

Of course. I love sleeping on the bus! I fall asleep like a baby who's being taken for a walk in a stroller. I can't sleep more than nine or ten hours in my bed at home, on a tour bus I easily get twelve hours. Maybe it's because it's constantly shaking a little. The other guys also sleep very well on the road.

But the most magical thing on tours is when I visit a city for the first time just because we have a gig there. That seems unimaginable to me. To meet new people, wonderful fans, to bond as a band, experience new, funny situations, to bring home a bunch of new inside jokes and incredible gifts that fans have made themselves. [Points towards a hand-embroidered pillow in the part of the studio where they keep the gifts.]

Elite athletes often lament that it's true that they compete all over the world, but they often only see the airport, the hotel, and the sports venue.

It's similar for us. When we travel with a bus, we only see the venue. If we happen to have a free day, we walk around the city, but we definitely don't visit all kinds of tourist attractions as some people might wrongly imagine. When we go to Paris, we definitely won't go to the Louvre, and we will see the Eiffel tower through the bus window if everything goes well.

But you meet a lot of interesting people.

That's true. I find it the most fascinating if we meet fans when we don't expect them at all. In a restaurant, on a plane… When we were flying to Poland, it turned out that one of the flight attendants was a big fan of ours. She told us that she was going to three of our concerts and brought us champagne and a model of a Lot Polish Airlines plane.

I was even more surprised in Helsinki. I went to some kind of dark club that had a techno music party. Suddenly I was approached by three people, two guys and one girl, and they told me that they were our fans and that they couldn't believe that they met me in that club. I also couldn't believe that people recognised me in the middle of Helsinki. What's going on?!

In the summer, you took a step back from Instagram for a while. What brought you to that decision?

Many things. I felt creatively empty. I also, for the first time in my life, experienced the internet – not just Slovenian, but global – being completely oversaturated with me. That started negatively pressuring me and eating me up. I thought about it a lot, and the first time I asked myself whether I'd be less Bojan Cvjetićanin if I didn't have an Instagram profile, I turned it off. Immediately after that, I wrote three songs; I felt as if I had cleaned up some of the mess that had built up recently. I returned to social media some time ago; with much healthier habits than before, I think.

How do you see social media? As a space for playfulness, for promotion, part of the job, part of private life?

I think that at the time when they started killing me, I perceived them too professionally. I had a feeling that Instagram was a platform through which I had to achieve all sorts of things. Lately, I prefer to joke around more.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, December 5th, 2024.

At your part of the world, is it summer now?: It's currently autumn, verging on winter.

What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest?: According to Google… "Over the year, the temperature varies from 19F to 92F and is rarely below 5F or above 100F." However, a few years ago, we experienced temperatures somewhere around -20* during the day, which is incredibly unusual for us. Also, I believe it was last January, there was one night / early morning when temperatures dipped down to around -17*. I remember that pretty vividly because my dad and I went out to do our weekly shopping trip and one of the cashiers said something about how they wouldn't go out in that weather unless they had to. To me, though, it was simply a challenge to be accepted. ;D

Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now?: Participating in gossip. I'm such a nosy bastard and it's such an easy thing to slip into, particularly when I have my own negative thoughts or complaints about the person in question. It's also hard to avoid because I feel like my silence or noncommittal responses will come across badly to the person doing the complaining, as though I disagree with them or don't support them or whatever. But I'm trying to get to the point where I won't say anything I wouldn't say directly to someone's face. I might be a chameleon people-pleaser, but this is at least one area where I think my morals supersede my desire to be accepted.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town?: It's not that easy. A few months ago, back when we had some significant openings, I remember Leslie saying something like, "We've got 180 applicants and I don't want to hire any of them." To anyone wishing to get in, at least where I'm at, I would strongly recommend volunteering. That way you're something of a known entity. I have extremely limited work experience, but due to my consistent presence and performance, I've been offered a job and would probably be immediately hired if I jumped on the next available cattery position.

When is the last time you went to a fun fair?: I went to the Chili Festival in 2023. I skipped it this year because it was shortly after all that family drama went down and I was NOT feeling it.

How about an amusement park?: I haven't been to one since I was a teen.

Did you/will you take part in your city’s Pride parade this year?: No.

If not, why not?: It's just not my cup of tea.

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not?:

Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?: Assuming it was a proposal from someone I loved and wanted to marry, then I would be absolutely over the moon about it.

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?: No.

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best?:

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?: No.

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish?: It depends on the restaurant. Sometimes I have a few "go-to" dishes or meals I know I would enjoy.

Or do you always try out something new?: I'm more open to trying new things that I was in the past, but I still stick to things that are relatively familiar. However, lately, I've been ordering salads because I can't seem to refrain from stuffing myself on larger meals, which doesn't make me feel the greatest. I think I'm still dealing with a "feast or famine" mindset due to my eating disorder. It's hard to mindfully check in with myself and stop when I'm comfortably full.

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?: An old folks home. I don't want to deal with school traffic.

What was the last game that you played?: I have no idea.

What do you know about Finland?: Not much. Just Moomins.

Where was the postcard from that travelled the longest way to you?: Idk.

Have you ever made jewelry?: Mostly cheap plastic kid stuff, but we did go to this one shop and make somewhat nicer jewelry as part of a group outing when I was in treatment for my eating disorder as a teen.

Have you ever upcycled anything? If so, what?: I haven't.

Which app do you use the most on your phone?: YouTube.

Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one?: Piano (private lessons) and clarinet (through school). I mean, if you consider knowing "hot cross buns" as learning how to play the clarinet. :')

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?: It kind of depends on the day. On my days off, I love spending extra time with my dad and kitties, making art, baking, taking surveys, lazing around in bed while watching YouTube, etc. On work days, I love the quiet moments before everyone shows up - making a pot of coffee, starting the laundry - and the final evening push to get everything wrapped up. I also enjoy the drive home, especially in the dark. Unwinding while listening to classical music. Then a shower and dinner with my dad.

If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.), would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore?: I've been putting off wearing glasses aside from driving. It's just so hard to get used to them in everyday life and I can still function without them.

Do you enjoy being on your own?: I've spent more than enough time on my own over the past decade-plus. I still need my alone time to decompress and catch up on hobbies and such, but being around other people on a regular basis is extremely important for my mental health.

Or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you? Like a massive crowd or just a group of people? Crowds are tolerable to a point and I can be happy in a group depending on the vibe.

Have you ever been to a zoo? If so, which one(s)?: I've been to the zoo within my own city, the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, and the Denver Zoo. Probably a couple of others, but I was too young to really remember them.

How about petting zoos?: Possibly.

Have you thrown your “winter coat” off yet?: No.

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?: I probably have.

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across?: No idea.

What’s a First World problem that you have?: Scraping my car windows on frosty mornings.

Do you use food products that are advertised as more healthy?: Sometimes. I'm definitely not a health food fanatic, but I try to eat…relatively healthily…I guess.

Does it matter to you if the produce you use is organic?: Not really. Like, it's not something I tend to specifically seek out.

If so, why?:

What has been the worst sort of physical pain that you have felt?: Migraines, tooth aches, and that earache I had in 2020.

Are your pains generally more acute or chronic?: Chronic.

Do you collect anything?: I don't.

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be?: Picnicking or hiking in the Mountain Park.

Do you read any web comics?: Not currently. I read a great deal of Homestuck back when that was a thing, though.

Which social media platform do you use the most, if any?: Tumblr and Instagram.

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?: I mean, randomly off the the top of my head, sure. <-Same.

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess?: Probably "pretend" or games like tag, hide-and-seek, etc.

[badhockeymom]

what are your thoughts on staying as a canes fan because as i understand you're quite fond of sebastian (and teuvo and svech and rod etc??) so like could you be able to cheer for a shitty team just for them and see past the idiots or on the other hand could you "abandon" those guys totally? just interested in hearing your thoughts and like would you say you're still a canes fan? and sorry if i sound rude, it's not my intent at all (i'm just very bad at english) I'm just curious.

I've been thinking about this.

I was an Aho fan first, and I became a Canes fan because of him. I hadn't paid too much attention to the NHL before, I think, the spring stretch of Sebastian's rookie season, but before the beginning of his sophomore season (2017-18) I was truly invested in the Canes. This was still the mediocre, Bill-Peters-Era Canes. I was perfectly fine with loving them, but everyone can guess how much fonder my love grew when Rod stepped in and everything looked shiny and new and dynamic and progressive, etc etc etc.

Here are a few thoughts:

It's more than easy for me to go back to cheering absolutely no NHL team at all. I have no illusions that any of them is morally superior compared to the others. Four years isn't enough time to grow that deep roots in my heart.

I can very well keep following the career and individual improvement of my favorite players no matter where they play. Haha, I can in fact start hoping for Carolina to drop out of the play-offs which would make their players available for Team Finland the Worlds that are always widely televised over here.

I can't possibly comprehend any of the moves that the Canes did this off-season and if this shitshow results in them slipping back to the mediocrity that marked the first two seasons of Sebastian and Teuvo playing for the team, I have no doubts that Sebastian will start wanting a trade. He is a loyal person but losing will gnaw that loyalty hollow.

If there is a weird genius master plan behind this weird fire-sale-meets-panic-shopping of a trade season, bad deeds get rewarded and the Canes thrive with this new squad - I won't lie, I'm sure I will be happy for My Boy and a few of his friends, but I don't see myself celebrating it as a fan.

Will they be a good team? Will their system work with the new guys? That's for other people to tell. I'll rather sleep from 2 am to 4 am on weeknights like a normal person, thank you very much.

I know I haven't deleted the Canes bit from my bio (is it there now that it's off-season? I can't even remember haha) or changed my blog theme but it's more me being lazy than a statement.

[awed-frog]

You should look at the twin project re: losing weight. If two people who are born genetically identical can be 2 vastly different weights while on the exact same diet and exercise regime surely that tells you something else is going on 🤔

I’m not exactly sure what study you are referring to, and I’m not an expert in this field anyway, but here is what I think.

1) There is no such thing as ‘exact same diet and exercise’. People are notoriously bad at estimating, or even counting, their calories - studies show that people who’re asked to keep a food diary underreport their daily calories by as much as 45% (and overestimate their physical activity by 51%!). Plus, exercise levels are difficult to measure: sure, you may go to a spin class with your friends, but the level of effort (as measured by your heart rate) could be different, and what you do in the other 23 hours of your day counts much, much more. Unless you’re a pro athelete, exercise burns off a negligible part of what you’re eating.

2) As for twins: one study I couldn’t access was from 1986; another one, that considered hundreds of twins (half of which had grown up in different households) is from 1990. That’s more or less prehistory scientifically speaking. Plus, the second one was about children who’d been forcibly removed from their parents and separated from their twin because their families were poor. I hope they accounted for trauma, because that seems horrific.

As for more recent stuff:

3) Quote from one Finnish study from 2012: “Based on interviews of these twins, there is an indication that both the conscious efforts to prevent weight gain in the lean and the more unhealthy lifestyle in the obese co-twins explains the weight disparities, which appeared at 18 years of age, at a time when environmental influences may also start to diverge as the young adults move out of their parental home and establish more individualistic life styles. The twins themselves pointed out environmental factors in young adulthood such as living alone, irregularity of student life, sedentary work, getting a driver's license (at age 18 in Finland), and marital and societal relationships as provocateurs of weight gain as compared with more regular eating and physical activity habits in childhood.”

4) Quote from a Danish study from 2010: “The evidence for genetic influence on anthropometry has previously been established and has been estimated to be 60-70% based on twin studies. These inter-individual differences can, however, not explain the increase in obesity prevalence during the past 70 years. Environmental factors must therefore play an important role in the obesity epidemic.”

5) Furthermore, we do know from twin studies on cancer - a different disease, but a very aggressive one - that the rate of cancer in adopted children si aligned with their adoptive - not their biological - parents’. This is not surprinsing, considering we now know up to 70% of cancers are actually caused by lifestyle and behaviour, not genetics. In the case of cancer, all of us get ‘faulty’ cells all the time, but very often they can be ‘silenced’ by our bodies if we adopt the right reflexes. 

(And please note I am NOT victim-blaming here: one big problem in our society is that many people are forced into an unhealthy lifestyle, such as dangerous pesticides or additive in foods, dangerous working conditions, food deserts, limited availability of fresh fruits and veggies, stress and overwork, access to a kitchen, little to no preventative healthcare - the list goes on.)

6) One strong indication that genetics is not that relevant when it comes to obesity are the rates of obesity in Japan (2% to 3%) and among 3rd generation Japanese-Americans (23%). As one recent study puts it, “Research has shown that compared to their native-born cohorts, newly arrived immigrants have better health, but their health declines the longer they remain in the U.S. and become more acculturated [...] The obesity rate seems to increase the longer Asian immigrants remain in the U.S.”

7) Finally, a study from last year shows that the BMI of dogs is correlated to the BMI of their owners: obese people are more likely to have obese dogs, and this is clearly not genetic.

So look - it’s always dangerous to say black and white things when it comes to science, because a) the matters involved are generally beyond complicated and b) we’re finding out new stuff at breakneck speed, but I don’t understand why so many people seem hellbent in complicating this issue. Obesity - as in, too much fat on your body - is always caused by caloric imbalance. In rare cases, people have health problems or take medication which causes them to be constantly hungry and/or store fat badly, and that complicates the issue, but for the vast majority of us, that’s not the case. We simply eat a lot more than we should, and we mostly eat crap. I don’t know how old you are, but I saw the change very clearly. Back when I was a child

nobody snacked (children would get a bread roll, a small chocolate bar, a yogurt or a piece of fruit around 4pm, but adults usually didn’t)

nobody drank soft drinks (my local shop only stored Coke, which we used to beg for but was only allowed in special occasions)

dessert and big meals were also more of a weekend habit

fast food wasn’t a thing (the first kebab place opened in my town when I was 17; the first McDonald’s, when I was 25)

if you forgot your packed lunch your only options were a restaurant, a chocolate bar from a kiosk or a bread roll with ham from the butcher’s

walking and biking places was pretty much the norm for a lot of people, as the bus system was inefficient and families tended to have one car (I have vivid memories of biking home 3 miles at 10pm under the rain after basketball practice, it was hellish but normal)

meals were 90% cooked at home using fresh ingredients (non-food available in the shops was limited to one type of crisps, frozen chips, chicken nuggets and a variety of weird-looking candy)

shopping malls didn’t exist (the first one in my region opened when I was 14), so people spent a lot more time outdoor during the weekend - going to the pool, the beach or the mountains, or playing football, tennis and basketball in the local fields and playgrounds.

Compare this to what’s going on now? You go out, and most people are eating or drinking something - whatever the time of day. Children, in particular, are constant snackers, and they snack on horrific things. Supermarkets are 90% non-food - my local shop has 25 different types of soft drinks, and 2 types of greens. We all work longer hours, with longer commutes, for less money, so there’s less time to cook (and less know-how anyway).  Fast food outlets are everywhere and open around the clock (want a kebab with double fries at 9 in the morning or 3 in the afternoon? in the 90s, you would have been fucked - just munch on your brown banana and wait for dinner!). And worst of all, you’re constantly, relentlessly drowning in reminders you should eat more more more, while being surrounded by endless advice on how to drop 20 pounds in 20 days ‘without dieting or exercising!’. It’s a catastrophic social experiment, and the result are obvious - and very profitable. 

Because everyone is making money here. The fast food market size was valued at $647.7 billion in 2019 and is estimated to reach $931.7 billion by 2027. The weight loss market is projected to grow from $175.94 billion in 2017 to $245.51 billion by 2022. The profits of drugs to treat diabetes almost tripled in 10 years, going from $27 billion to $78 billion. Investors are rushing towards potential new drugs, snake oil of all kinds and bariatric equipment companies (as one investment website helpfully puts it, “The increasing rate of obesity among children provides significant opportunities for growth of this market.”).

So the bottom line is, sure - some people have always been fatter than others, and that is probably genetics (some of us get hungrier; we react to stress by comfort eating; we like food more). But the reason why obesity rates are skyrocketing has nothing to do with personal preference or genetic inclinations - it is rooted in merciless capitalism and worsening inequalities. We should stop finding excuses or - God forbid - celebrating fatness and demand better policies and better healthcare before it’s too late.

[you-can-call-me-wanda]

Dressed To Impress

Pairing: Nasty Suicide x Reader

Author’s Note: This is my first ever imagine, so don’t judge my writing skills too hard as I’m still trying to figure it all out. I hope you enjoy though!

You looked down at the address scribbled on the scrap of paper clutched tightly in your hand and then back up to the apartment in front of you. Yep, this was the place. Your brother, Andy, had invited you to come to London to stay with him for a little while. You were only a year younger than him and the two of you were terribly close, so you had jumped at the chance to come visit him. Plus, you would get to go explore London, a city you had always wanted to visit!

Pulling the strap of your bag up higher onto your shoulder, you raised your hand and knocked on the door. From just the outside, you could tell this apartment was going to be a complete mess. It did not look very well cared for and you knew that your brother and his bandmates were probably not cleaning as often as they should (or at all).

The door swung open, shaking you from your thoughts. You didn’t have time to even look up before Andy was tackling you in a hug.

“Agh! Andy!” you scolded playfully, as he caused you to stumble back and drop your bags.

He pulled away and laughed brightly. “(Y/N)! I’ve missed you!”

You smiled. It really was great to see him. It had been a long time since the two of you had gotten to see each other now that he was so busy making music and getting to play all around the world. “I missed you too,” you said.

Andy picked up your bags that he had knocked over earlier and brought them through the door. “Come on inside! I’ll show you around!”

The apartment was just as bad as you imagined it would be. Empty beer bottles were strewn on every available surface, stains littered the carpet and furniture, and dirty dishes and pieces of garbage were thrown about the place. You also could have sworn you saw a rat scurry past your feet and behind the couch which a blonde-haired boy was currently sleeping on, snoring lightly.

“Sorry about Michael,” Andy said, like that was the only issue you might have with his home. “You remember Michael, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said. You had met all the members of his band, Hanoi Rocks, at least once. You had gone and seen them play several times back home in Finland.

Andy just nodded and led you up the stairs where his room was. He kicked open the door and walked in, dropping your bags unceremoniously onto the floor. “You can stay in my room with me,” he said. “How long did you say you were staying for again?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I haven’t really figured that out yet.” You had yet to tell Andy, but you were planning on staying in London for a while, maybe even moving there permanently. Obviously, you would eventually find your own place to stay, you just had to find your footing first.

“Well, you can stay for as long as you like I guess,” Andy said, smiling at you. “If I bring a girl back you might have to bunk with one of the other guys though.” He winked as you made a disgusted face and pretended to throw up, completely grossed out by the mental image of your brother having sex.

“Come on,” he laughed. “Let’s go say hi to the guys.”

You saw Sami first. He was in the hallway, having just walked out of the bathroom. “Oh, hi (Y/N). I forgot you were coming today,” Sami said when he took notice of you walking next to Andy.

“Hi Sami,” you greeted, enveloping him in a friendly hug. You’d known Sami the longest out of all the boys and saw him somewhat like another brother. “How are you?”

“Eh, could be worse, I guess,” he answered. Then, a weird expression came across his face. He smiled mischievously. “Say, have you seen Nasty yet?”

“No,” you said, genuinely confused. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sami’s grin widened. “Like what?”

Andy butted in. “Like you know something we don’t,” he said, his tone laced with suspicion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sami said, causing both you and your brother to groan. Sami was a terrible liar. He giggled before running off to his bedroom.

You and Andy looked at each other and laughed lightly before carrying on through the flat.

The two of you saw Razzle next. You and Andy had just wandered into the kitchen when he came in through the front door of the flat, calling out hello.

You and Andy had both responded in greeting and now the three of you were seated around the rickety kitchen table, talking and laughing.

Razzle had just finished telling you a funny tale about his latest trip to the record shop when Nasty came into the kitchen.

“Hey Nasty!” you greeted warmly upon his arrival. “It’s nice to see you.” You would never admit it, but you had a bit of a soft spot for Nasty. You didn’t know what it was exactly, but something about him gave you butterflies. Maybe it was his kind eyes or his rich voice that had made you fall for the boy some time ago. You had pushed those feelings aside though, worried about what your brother would think, and that Nasty wouldn’t feel the same.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he said, shyly. “It’s nice to see you too.” You could’ve sworn you saw him blush.

He looked a little awkward, standing in the kitchen so you beckoned him over, inviting him to join you guys at the table. “Come sit down.”

He smiled and made his way over to the three of you. He pulled out the chair across from you and took a seat.

Andy turned to him, about to tell him about some lyrics he had started writing when he noticed something strange about the guitarist. “Are you wearing makeup?” he asked.

Of course, wearing makeup was nothing new to the members of Hanoi Rocks. They were all known to dress and look quite glam during their gigs, including wearing makeup, but that was typically only reserved for shows. At home, they all tended to dress more casually and comfortably, trading in their shiny blazers and teased hairstyles for t-shirts and messy ponytails.

Nasty fidgeted in his chair. “What? No.”

Razzle squinted at Nasty. “You are!” he said.

Nasty ducked his head. “No, I’m not,” he protested weakly. “It must just be left over from last night. Maybe I forgot to take it off.”

You examined his face along with Andy and Razzle. He definitely was wearing at least a little makeup. The blue of his eyes contrasted dramatically against his dark eye makeup, though the eyeliner seemed a little too neat to have been slept in. You didn’t mention this out loud though.

Andy narrowed his eyes at Nasty, further examining him. “Why do you look so fancy? You have a date or something?”

Nasty’s eyes flickered to you before he looked down at his outfit. “I don’t look fancy.”

You agreed with Nasty. Sure, he was dressed somewhat nicely, wearing a button-up shirt and some tight jeans, but you wouldn’t necessarily call that fancy.

“Yes, you do,” Razzle said. He then leaned over to Nasty and gave him a sniff. “And you smell nice. Are you wearing cologne?” he asked, tone teasing.

Nasty just groaned and buried his head in his hands, frustrated and embarrassed by the constant questioning especially in front of you. “No,” he mumbled into table.

You laughed good-naturedly. “Guys leave him alone. So what if he looks nice?” You reached across the table to pat Nasty on the back. He lifted his head a little and gave you a smile. “Besides, Michael always dresses up too,” you pointed out, trying to defend Nasty.

Razzle rolled his eyes. “That’s different,” he said. “Mike’s different.”

The conversation about Nasty’s appearance could have ended right there, but something was bothering Andy. He thought back to what Sami had said in the hallway upstairs. How Sami had made such a big deal about Nasty seeing you. Andy glanced over at Nasty who was now watching you talk with Razzle. Nasty’s eyes seemed to light up as he watched you laugh and the expression on his face was one Andy recognized all too well. Love. Suddenly, Sami’s strange behavior made sense. Nasty had feelings for you! Andy’s jaw dropped.

“I cannot believe you!”

The conversation you, Razzle, and Nasty had all started drew quiet at Andy’s outburst.

“Can’t believe who?” you asked, puzzled. You looked around the table.

“You,” Andy said pointing his finger accusingly at Nasty.

“Me?” Nasty said. He looked at Andy with furrowed brows. “Why?”

You and Razzle just looked on, bewildered.

“Because you like (Y/N), don’t you?”

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Razzle was looking at Andy, you were looking at Nasty, Andy was looking at you, and Nasty, poor Nasty, was looking down into his lap, cheeks burning a bright red.

“Nasty,” you started, causing the raven-haired man to look up at you.

Nasty opened his mouth, trying to find words to explain, to try and say something that could remedy this, but his mouth just opened and shut silently.

Then, Razzle began to laugh. “Oh my god, this is golden!” he howled. He turned to Nasty, “Is that why you got all done up?”

“Shut up,” Nasty said, sounding genuinely hurt. He looked to you and your wide-eyed expression. It was clear to him that you weren’t happy with the feelings he had for you. He stood from the table and walked off quickly.

You turned to your brother, angry at him for revealing Nasty’s feelings in front of you and Razzle like that. “You’re an ass.” You said, getting up and following after Nasty.

The door to Nasty’s room was shut when you got upstairs. You raised your hand to knock but lowered it before you could build up the nerve to bring it to the door. You weren’t quite sure what you were going to say to Nasty. You had been shocked when Andy had called Nasty out for fancying you, but now that you’d had some time to process it, you were happy. You’d always tried to bury your feelings for Nasty, thinking that he would never want to be with someone like you, but now you had a chance.

You took a deep breath and knocked on his door, determinately.

There was no answer.

You knocked a second time.

Again, silence.

“Nasty,” you called, “it’s me. Can I come in?”

For a minute you didn’t think he was going to answer but eventually you heard shuffling on the other side of the door and a few moments later, the door was opened. Nasty stood in the doorway, looking upset. He frowned and bit his lip when he looked at you.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey, can I come in?” you asked.

He nodded and opened the door wider, allowing you entrance. You walked in and took a seat at the foot of his bed.

He sat down next to you but left a few feet of space between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” he finally said after a minute or so of silence.

“What for?” you asked.

He shrugged and picked at a loose thread on his quilt.

“Nasty,” you said. “Nasty, look at me.”  His sad blue eyes looked away from the bed and met yours. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.”

“Yes, I do,” he said. “I never meant for you to find out, at least like that. I ruined our friendship and I’m really sorry (Y/N).”

Nasty looked so hurt and uncomfortable and your heart ached for him. You scooted closer to him and placed your hand on top of his. “Are you kidding? You didn’t ruin anything. I, I’m so happy to hear you have feelings for me. Sure, maybe I would have rather heard it from you instead of Andy, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still feel the same way.”

Nasty’s lips curled into a small smile. “You do?” he asked cautiously. “You don’t have to say all that just because you feel bad.”

“Nasty,” you said, lifting your hand and placing it onto his cheek. You leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his. You heard him gulp and chuckled. “I’m not saying this because I feel bad for you. I like you, Nasty. I’ve liked you since I first met you. I just, I didn’t say anything because I thought you wouldn’t feel the same.”

This time Nasty smiled for real. “God, we’re stupid,” he said, rubbing his nose softly against yours. The closeness was making you dizzy, and you looked down at his lips as he spoke. “I thought you wouldn’t like me.”

You chuckled. “Idiots in love,” you murmured, before pressing your lips to his in a soft but sweet kiss.

“Whoo! Go Nasty, get it!”

“Sami, don’t encourage them!”

“I think it’s cute.”

You and Nasty broke apart to see Sami, Andy, Razzle, and a sleepy, confused-looking Michael peering around the doorway watching you.

Nasty rolled his eyes at his friends whilst you got up to close the door. You stuck your tongue out at the eavesdropping boys before shutting the door in their faces. Turning back to Nasty, you grinned.

“Now, where were we?”

[jimlingss]

Chess of Ice 3 [Finale]

Read the Original 

Read the Sequel

➜ Words: 14.9k

➜ Genres: 70% Fluff, 30% Angst, Sports!AU

➜ Summary: Jeon Jungkook is a star, aka. a valued member of one of the best mixed curling teams in the world. He has everything he could’ve ever asked for and more — a family in the sport that he’s grown to love, his beloved girlfriend whom he adores, and the fact that made it. He’s finally here at the Olympics. All his dreams have been fulfilled. But when he comes face to face with the people of the past, he comes to question if this what he imagined his dreams to be like.

➜ Warnings: implied smut

He keeps himself going.   The roars pierce through his muffled hearing, the audience going wild. The coldness of the ice wafts over, making the air frigid. His breath is seen each time he exhales, cheeks becoming rosy in the cold. He can’t feel anything, not his hands or the tip of his nose. The edges of his fingers tingle, mind tickling pleasantly. This is where he’s meant to be, where he worked so hard to get to.   The neon lights are flashing, reminding him of strobe lights at a club and it blinds his vision completely, but Jungkook welcomes it. The cheers are loud in the stadium, echoing in every corner and leaving no space untouched with sound. The music is deafening as well and he feels like a world famous superstar stepping out like this. There’s so much going on that Jungkook can barely focus, but he forces himself to keep walking and not freeze up on television like some idiot.   He can’t believe he’s here.   “Oh my god.” Yoonji is rapidly blinking, rendered speechless and it’s not like her to be like this.   Taehyung’s mouth has dropped to the floor, welcoming flies on the palette of his tongue. “This is amazing.”   “Wave, you guys!” You’re chirpy, grinning and jumping on the spot. The camera pans over, announcing your country over the intercom and everyone gives big waves. Yoonji jumps on top of Taehyung like she’s tackling him and she looks the happiest she’s ever been. Everyone’s laughing and waving their arms over their heads, bubbling with excitement and as eager as Jungkook is, he muses how cute everyone else is being.   The parade continues. The ice-skaters ahead are holding the country’s flag, letting the fabric flutter in the air. Jungkook keeps walking, trying to let it sink in that this was indeed the opening ceremony, that he was in Beijing, that this was the Olympics.   He knocks his head back, staring up at the stars that are almost drowned out by the lights, how there are millions of people surrounding him, how he can’t seem them all individually. Their screams are passionate, full of vigor, and everything is breathtaking. But for a moment, something catches in Jungkook’s peripheral vision, a group of guys that are familiar, that he used to know well, standing a few meters away. He looks away in a millisecond, afraid to confirm his suspicions.   Instead, Jungkook focuses on you.   “I can’t believe we’re here.”   “I know, it’s amazing, isn’t it?”   The boy has the urge to kiss your soft lips, wrap his arms around your waist, lean you back till you’re on a single foot and grabbing onto him not to fall, and he’s smothering your yelp, relishing how tightly you’d latch onto him. But he resists and reaches over to hold your hand instead.   Your palm immediately welcomes his, fingers lacing together as normal and you squeeze, coming to stand with your country.   Namjoon and Adora are standing by as well, equally enthusiastic and bursting with awe. All of you are only able to stand here after two years of top performance, shedding blood, sweat and tears. It was through hard work that you scrapped a victory at the World Mixed Doubles Curling Championships, coming out as the winner.    It wasn’t easy in the least bit and unfortunately, the men’s and women’s curling team got cut a few months beforehand. Another group outside of Namjoon and Adora’s coaching was representing the country instead in those categories. But they still rooted for you, some at home and others here sitting in the stadium. There was a lot of pressure to give it your best shot and while Jungkook was excited, he was scared.   Only by standing next to you are his nerves eased.   “Take a look at that,” Taehyung’s leaning over to shout above the ear-piercing music. No one can hear well, but he points to a lean figure skater from Finland standing ahead of you.   “What?” Yoonji screams above the celebratory music and building snare drum. “I can’t hear you!”   “I said take a look at that!”   “Take a load of what?!”   “Take a load of that! Wait- no, take a look!” Taehyung’s throat is straining in blood-curdling shouts, veins popping out as his face reddens. “She’s hot!”   “You’re feeling hot?! You have a fever?!” Instead of being concerned, Yoonji is pissed off like his potential illness will inhibit the team’s performance. “What the fuck!”   “No!”   Adora leans over. “Can you guys shut up?!”   Namjoon who’s standing right beside her turns his head towards her. “What?”   “I said shut up!”   “What?!”   “Shut up!” The female coach is shrieking and the ski jumpers look over at the ruckus.   “What?” This time, Namjoon accidentally lets his grin slip, making it known that he’s purposely playing dumb. Adora stands back, rolling her eyes and probably mumbling a thousand curses. In the meanwhile, Yoonji and Taehyung are still confused and Jungkook exchanges an expression with you. The pair of you burst into laughter.   Once the parade is over, everybody takes their seats and the performances continue. It’s definitely entertainment, watching skaters glide on the ice, dancing to songs while mascots coming out to greet everyone. When it’s time for the fireworks, Jungkook slings an arm around your shoulders and you cuddle into him, watching the magnificent show.   He’s proud, content. All of you finally made it.   //   It’s an unusually relaxed atmosphere. It’s simple to assume that everyone would be at their most tense, surrounded in their competitors, so close yet too far from their victory. But it’s not like that at all — for most athletes that’ve had intense lifestyles up to this point, hours of practice and restricted diets. The Olympic village is the most freedom they get.    No reporters. No family. No prying eyes.   It’s Disneyland and summer camp combined into one.   Athletes can roam however they choose without many constraints. Everyone made it this far after all, they deserve to relish in every bit of it. And it’s not like much practice can be done once you’re here. Even Adora and Namjoon are at ease, savouring this moment of paradise.    You and Yoonji take the liberty of wandering around and checking out all the facilities that are available in the village. There’s shopping centers, stores, a beauty salon and a million condom dispenser machines— “You gotta cover your stump before you hump,” Yoonji passingly comments and when you make a disgusted expression, she scoffs. “Don’t act like you and Jeon don’t go at it.”   You mumble how it’s not anyone’s business what your private relationship’s like and she gives you a look of disbelief as you enter the grand dining hall. Quickly, your attention is brought back to your surroundings and you’re amazed once more.    Yoonji, on the other hand, has eyes for something else. “Oh lord, would you take a look at that hunk over there.”   She’s not even whispering, openly ogling and she has to suck back in her saliva pooling in her mouth. Yoonji’s staring directly at the male Chinese bobsleigh team like a tigress about to pounce on a group of antelopes. They’re gathered in a group by a cafeteria table, laughing and goofing off like a normal bunch of guys, but testosterone is practically emanating off their muscular biceps, aura amplified by ten when they’re together. Everyone who likes a little dick is staring at them with half-lidded eyes, nearly bumping into pillars and chairs.    “Yoonji,” you roughly mutter her name in embarrassment. “We’re not here to window shop for guys.”   “Damn straight we’re not.” She rolls up the sleeves of her black tracksuit jacket to her elbow as if she’s about to do some laborious work. “I’m about to make a purchase.”   You ignore her. “Yoonji.”   She crosses her arms and turns to you with a scoff. “Don’t act like you’re so innocent, Miss. how-many-times-can-you-have-sex-in-a-day.”   Your entire face heats like a furnace. “I’m never letting you google anything on my phone again.”   “You should learn how to erase your history, it might help.” Yoonji is amused, wearing an endeared and humoured expression much to your dismay. But she doesn’t allow the topic to change and nudges you. “C’mon. You gotta admit there’re hunks everywhere. And you know they’re in great shape and got great bodies underneath all that clothes too.”   It’s not a myth that a lot of sexual intercourse happens at the Olympics — you’ve heard your fair share of stories and it seemed like some people were already getting a head start on it. It’s obvious with the way some are pulling others along and there are a handful who have stopped by the free condom dispenser.   “I guess….that guy seems nice.”   Yoonji follows your line of sight towards a snowboarder who caught your eye earlier at the parade. He’s lean and tall, cute face with big, doe eyes. “You got a type, don’t you, Y/N?” she muses with a smirk and scans him from his head to his toes. “But I can appreciate this. What is he? Six feet two? And what are those colours? Sweden? Damn. I bet he has a big coc—”   “What’s going on?”   The two of you are interrupted by your boyfriend who slings an arm around your shoulders.   “Hey.” Your entire face unintentionally lights up at the sight of him and he grins. Jungkook’s chest feels warm and instead of responding to you in words, he leans in to plant a chaste kiss in your lips as a greeting. It’s soft and fast, saving any real intimacy for later.   Yoonji’s nose wrinkles and she looks like she bit into a lemon. “Ugh, right in front of my salad?”   The pair of you ignore her and Jungkook looks straight ahead to see what you were both intently staring at. “What were you talking about?”   “Y/N was just saying how hot that Swedish snowboarder is.” Her chin motions to the poor, unsuspecting athlete who’s just picking out some chicken breasts at the buffet table to snack on.   “I didn’t say he was cute!” you defend. “I said he was….nice.”   “He’s a whole damn meal, you got that right.” She slyly smirks and nudges you again. “You should go talk to him.”   “What?” You’re shy, directing your vision away from the snowboarder wearing his blue and yellow tracksuit that seems all too tight in all the right places. “I’m not going to talk to him, Yoonji.”   Her brows lift. “Why not?”   Jungkook clears his throat obnoxiously loud and pulls you closer, arm still on your shoulder and now the side of your body pressing into his comfortingly. “Excuse me, I think you’re forgetting I’m standing right here.”   “No one cares about your possessiveness, Jeon. Let your girlfriend play a little. This is the Olympics for god sakes. What happens here stays here. Better yet, if you want to join in the fun so badly, just have a threesome. Don’t you want to be a little more adventurous in your relationship?”   “No, thanks,” you interrupt.   “We have all the adventure we need.” With his free arm, his hand slips into his jacket pocket and out comes two condoms between his fingers as if he’s revealing his secret weapon. Jungkook glances at you and winks, making you sheepish.   Yoonji is not impressed. “Ew, can you guys be gross somewhere else?”   “Fine by me. We’re going back to the apartment then.” Jungkook lets you lead the way, cutting through the ginormous dining hall and while he holds you close and a few seconds pass, Yoonji hears him mumble, “You really thought that dude was cute?”   Your voice is fading off but Yoonji sees your smile. “I think you’re cuter.”   Yoonji scoffs. If there was anyone disgustingly cute, it was the two of you.   Of course the both of you were too oblivious to notice how a handful of girls around are openly disappointed when they find that Jungkook has a girlfriend, and how that snowboarder you commented on was staring at you from the corner of his eye before Jungkook came along.    The female curler pushes away her jealousy and psychs herself up before sauntering to the bobsled team she chose earlier.   //   “What are you doing here?”    She is not entertained whatsoever and her spitting image scoffs. “What do you mean ‘what am I doing here’? What do you think I’m here for?”   “I don’t know. Speed skating.”   “I’m here to support my lovely sister.”   “Bullshit. You’re here to pick up chicks.”   In the midst of their banter, Taehyung’s mind is boggling as he looks back and forth between the two. They’re so similar, almost like they’re the same person or like they’re talking to their own reflection. More importantly, the intimidating aura emanates in the air and sends goosebumps all over his arms. “Hey...I think the match is starting.”   They ignore him.    You approach, clad in your uniform, tracksuit jacket in the color of your country and matching the others. “Hey, Yoongi.” You smile at him and he greets you. “How was the fight?”   “Crowded, but not bad. I’m staying at a nearby hotel.” He points off in the distance as if the walls aren’t blocking the view. “So I’ll be able to catch all your matches. Since my parents couldn’t come, I have to be the Min family representative, right?”   Yoonji scowls. “Nobody asked.”    You smile, glad she has some outside support here for her. Your own parents and Jungkook’s, as well as Taehyung’s family and his entire extended family with his millions of cousins, are probably up at the stands. Namjoon and Adora are on the lower, ready to cheer you all on.   You wonder how Yoongi managed to wander into this restricted area or if he smooth talked his way in. But there’s no time to dwell as you look off at her. “You ready?”   “Course I’m ready.”   “Let’s do this then.” Taehyung bounces on spot. “Figure skating starts in two hours and I wanna make it!”   The three of you and Jungkook step out onto the ice. Seven trials in four days, two games per day, and going against seven other teams representing their country was not going to be easy. The first game was versus Norway and luckily, they were a friendly bunch who chatted about the games last time in Seoul and how the sheet seemed bumpier than usual then.   But as nice as the atmosphere was, the pressure was still on as people cheered on passionately. It wasn’t like any other game. The stakes were much higher. And these were fans that truly cared about the sport, intense. Yoongi was also rooting loudly in the stadium, voice heard all over and making people turn around to stare. His husky voice moves up to shrill screams, sounding as if he’s being murdered, taking full advantage of the situation to embarrass his sister. It’s to the point where the cameraman has to walk over and politely ask him to be quieter.   It starts off with guard shots and they also place their own guard shots, blocking a clear direct path towards the house. “Right up! Right up! Okay. Right off!”   Yoonji and Jungkook stop sweeping. The stone bumps one of the opponents off the house and cheers erupt from the stands, applause and screams, the flag lifted in the air. “That was really good, Taehyung.”   He grins, prouder of getting a compliment from you, the skip, than from spectators. “Thanks.”   He and Jungkook switch places and you exchange a serious expression with your boyfriend, gathering close to strategize. The other team goes, doing a takeout of your stone and getting their own cheers. It’s a close match. But you and Jungkook decide to continue on your defensive strategy, and to organize a draw shot.   He gets down onto one knee, positions himself and with a deep inhale, throws the rock straight towards the target. You’re low, next to him, eyes narrowed in. “Hard! Hard! Harder!”   “C’mon, Taehyung,” Yoonji encourages.   “Got this,” he mutters back, sweeping hard with the broom and putting muscle into it. It reaches the house and you scream for them to stop. The stone halts right on the button.   There’s a whole wave of cheers and you and Jungkook exchange grins.   After eight ends, the match finishes and it’s a victory for all four of you.   Finland shakes your hand, acknowledging that it was a good play.   //   “We were so good,” Yoonji emphasizes.   Taehyung adds on, “We crushed it.”   “Yeah.” Her expanding grin dies at once, lips pursing in a tight line and her eyes drooping to be half-lidded. “So I don’t get why we have to go to the gym.”   “Just cause we won a game doesn’t mean we can let our guard down.” You drop the ten pound dumbbells back onto the rack. It doesn’t help that she’s complaining incessantly when you’re trying to do some reps. Your best friend is the opposite of a motivator. “We gotta keep in shape. And haven’t you noticed? Namjoon and Adora’s been side-eyeing the two of you for piling fried chicken on your plates during dinner.”   Taehyung pouts. “It just tastes so delicious, I can’t help myself.”   “This is supposed to be paradise.” Her little body is sweating already, bob-haircut gathered into a tiny low ponytail. She’s using three pounds, grunting as she curls her arms, on her first set of them. “N-not hell. Not everyone’s like your muscle rabbit boyfriend.”   “What?”   Jungkook’s busy doing pull ups on the nearby equipment and he lands on his feet swiftly, not even breaking a sweat yet on his count of thirty four. Taehyung and Yoonji glare at him for making them look bad.   He’s a gym rat, probably the only curler with actual abs and muscular arms. It’s his hobby to workout and he relishes how exhausted his body feels after — Yoonji just says he’s a masochist who thrives on pain and a freak of nature. But you don’t mind. It’s cute how much he likes to work out and you like it if he likes it.    “Jungkook?”   The four of you are suddenly interrupted by three tall, lean males. They’re in tight tank tops and Yoonji’s brows lift. Jungkook, on the other hand, visibly pales. He turns like a robot, cranky and stiff, swallowing hard only to find his mouth dry. “J-Junmyeon?”   “Oh, dude.” Without thinking twice, he reaches over to give a half-hug and then lets go, fist-bumping Jungkook. “Thought that was you!”   “How’s it going, man? Jeez, it’s been a while.”   “I know. I’m good.” He laughs tensely and goes over to do an elaborate handshake with one of them that makes Taehyung offended and jealous that they don’t have their own special handshake. “How about you?”   “Busy, I guess.” The princely male has a sharp nose and eyebrows, but a rather kind smile.   The puppy-like boy beside the stranger has brown, ruffled hair, but a leery gaze as he scans you up and down, making you uncomfortable. “And this is…?”   “Oh, this is my curling team. Taehyung, Yoonji, and Y/N.” It’s an awkward introduction and he never thought his new world and old world would be colliding in such a way. “And these are some of my old hockey teammates I used to play with. Junmyeon, Sehun, and Baekhyun.”   “Why so formal, Jeon?” Sehun barks with laughter, rather handsome with his distinct features and dark hair, but his loud voice startles you. He throws an arm over Jungkook’s shoulder. “When was the last time we called him Junmyeon? Might as well call him Mr. Kim.”   The one in question is unamused. “Can you please stop calling me Suho? I’m not going to sue any hoes.”   He wears a shit-eating grin. “You’re not, but they’re going to sue you.”   “I thought that joke was dead.” Jungkook laughs and looks off at you three who are completely confused. He explains the joke, “He...uh...went out with a girl named Irene once and she threatened to sue him after he dumped her. Got a court order and everything. It was crazy.”   “She wasn’t just a girl.” Sehun corrects, “She was a psycho hoe.”   It’s easy to talk to them. For a second, Jungkook doesn’t know why he was so afraid of confronting his old teammates. When he speaks to them now, it’s like no time has passed.   Like nothing has changed.   “Okay, okay.” Baekhyun tries to placate the other, but he still wears a mischievous grin. “Don’t get our captain mad.”   Jungkook stands straighter, put on alert as he looks at his old friend. “Oh, you’re captain now?”   “Yeah.” Junmyeon’s smile softens, maybe even sadly. “You should come watch us at the preliminaries. We have one tomorrow at three.”   “I’ll see what I can do. But I think...uh...I have practice that day.”   Yoonji exchanges a knowing look with Taehyung at Jungkook’s remark.   “Okay, enough talk about hoes.” Sehun’s hasn’t moved on, still hung up on the other topic. He leans down slightly to whisper, as if you, Yoonji and Taehyung aren’t awkwardly standing there. “Have you seen the chicks around here, Jeon? They’re thirsty for some good dick after spending their entire lives practicing. They’ll hop on you and bend over whenever, wherever.”   “Can you guys not?” Junmyeon is once again not impressed.   He rolls his eyes. “Don’t act like you didn't break the back of that figure skater, dude. She was so fucking loud last night, I thought you were killing her.”   “Killing her with his dick, if anything,” Baekhyun snickers and then muses, “great choice though. That ass was nice. Aren’t those skaters flexible too?”   “I..ummm….” Jungkook glances at you. He doesn’t want to say anything or announce you’re his girlfriend — for one, it’s nobody's business and he doesn’t want them to call him a pussy or whipped or for them to stare at you and bombard you with a million questions. Then again, Jungkook has nothing to hide and he’s not ashamed to be in a committed relationship with you…...but the pressure gets to him and he decides playing along is just easier. “....yeah.”   You wear an impassive expression, but Yoonji’s left eye twitches.   “I know someone you’d really like,” Sehun mentions with roaring laughter. “Super cute, a little timid and innocent. Your type, right? More importantly, she got those double Ds.”   “I...I’m good.”   “What?” He smirks. “Don’t act like you don’t like that, Jeon. We saw you with Lee Soongyu.”   “She had a great body,” Baekhyun agrees. “Too bad she was clingy, huh?”   “You don’t even know. You wish you had a piece of that ass.” It tumbles out of his mouth on instinct, making the others baffled. Jungkook’s slowly getting into the flow of it again, remembering how he used to respond to these things.   Baekhyun grins, making a jab back, “At least I wouldn’t hit up her younger sister the day after. That’s just cold. Should’ve just convinced them both to go at it at the same time.”   Jungkook begins sweating, not sure how to respond to that one. At the remainder of his past self, he shifts in discomfort, feeling gross. Luckily, Junmyeon saves him. “You’re disgusting, dude. No wonder Nayeon dumped you and slapped you in front of the entire team.”   Junmyeon glances at him with a smile and Jungkook grins.   Baekhyun bites back, “At least I don’t get threatened with court orders by crazies. Listen, you gotta have some fun, Jungkook. Before—”   “C’mon.” The captain interrupts while checking his phone. “We have practice to get to.”   “Alright, alright. See you around, Jeon.”   “Bye.” He waves as they walk away and disappear after turning the corner to the men’s locker room.   There’s silence.   “I didn’t know you were in a frat, Jeon,” Yoonji enunciates his name sharply and then struts past him, making sure to purposely bump into his shoulder.   “I’m not.” He turns, voice following after her. “They’re just my old hockey team.”   You feel distant from him, disconnected, like he’s universes away and you don’t understand who it is that’s standing beside you. But once they’re gone, Jungkook’s back. He’s looking at you, lost, and you smile at him, opening your hand for him to take. “C’mon. I’ll spot you if you need me to.”   Jungkook sheepishly smiles, happily holding your hand. “Okay.”   //   The arena is cold, ice far away, but still making the air frigid.    The frost lightly nips at Jungkook’s nose as he sits on the bench. Rarely does he get to observe or be a mere spectator, but tickets were nabbed by Namjoon and Adora who are also watching and writing down jot notes on strategies. It helps to take an outside point of view and watch other people’s skills to improve his own. The men’s curling game was impressive too, people getting wrapped up in it, cheering, clapping, shouts echoing.   It would be a great game to watch….if Jungkook wasn’t so uncomfortable.   Yoonji's plopped herself beside him and made you sit next to her brother, who only came for fun. But while she blocked him from being with you and had made a visible effort to sit beside him as if she had something important to say, she wasn’t speaking whatsoever. Instead, Yoonji was giving Jungkook the cold shoulder, pouting, frowning.   “Hey, if there’s an issue, can you just tell me?”   He’s annoyed. He didn’t do anything to piss her off and yet he feels like he’s been put in timeout.    “You wanna know what the issue is, Jungkook?” Yoonji uses his full first name for once and turns to look at him, arms crossed, keeping her voice low so no one else can hear in the midst of the roars. “It’s the fact that you’re a completely different person when you’re with those guys.”   He connects the dots. “How?”   “You’re an ass.”    She’s blunt and straightforward, sinking her words that have sharp talons into his skin. Yoonji continues while he’s speechless, “When you’re with them, you’re everything I thought you were. A prick, an asshole, a fuckboy. Thought you proved me wrong, but guess not.”   Jungkook scoffs. “I didn’t even do anything.”    “Exactly,” she spits out with narrowed pupils boring into his own. “You didn’t defend Y/N when you should’ve. You didn’t even mention her. You acted like you weren’t in a long-term serious relationship, that you haven’t been dating her for a goddamn year now. Talking about fucking bitches too.” She rolls her eyes, making him feel small. “Are you kidding me?”   “I didn’t talk about that,” he defends. “They did.”   “And you didn’t stop them.”   “What did you want me to do?” His voice is moving up octaves, increasing in volume but you don’t notice, preoccupied with Yoongi. “To tell them to fuck off?”   “Yes!”   “They’re old friends that I haven’t seen in a long time and…” He’s at a loss, stressing, “It’s not that simple.”   “Obviously. You didn’t want to go to their game.” She softens around the edges and sighs. “Look, Jeon. I don’t know what your issue is with them, with having to pretend like you’re someone you’re clearly not, with having to lie about practice, but don’t be an idiot and hurt Y/N.”   “I won’t,” he mumbles.   “And don’t be an ass. It doesn’t suit you. Makes you uglier.”   There’s a moment of serene quietness. But Taehyung leans over with the bucket of popcorn in his lap almost spilling out. “Is everything okay?”   In the meanwhile, Yoongi is watching the game and chatting with you. “—tickets were cheaper than the other events and I wanted to see another curling game, so I can actually gauge how good you guys are. Yoonji keeps telling me you guys are the best.”   “Well, I don’t know about the best….” Your voice trails off. It’s nice to talk to Yoongi like this. It’s normal and you’re no longer nervous. The two of you are good friends and that fact puts you at ease, enough to turn and say, “Hey, Yoongi. Can I ask you something?”   “Depends on what it is.”   “D-Do guys prefer double Ds?”   The dark-haired man whips his head around, no longer watching the match. “What?”   “N-nevermind.” A long sigh squeezes out of your lungs. Yoongi doesn’t push, but he tells you that you can talk to him about anything if you want, that it’s okay. With that in mind, you nod and brace yourself. “Do you….ever….get….bored in the bedroom?”   Yoongi’s doubtful Jungkook would ever say that to you. So, he doesn’t know where this is coming from, but he still chooses his words carefully, “Sometimes. When I was dating, of course things became pretty regular after a while. I think that happens to everyone at some point and it’s not a bad thing. We kept things exciting by changing them up every once in a while.”   “Changing...things up?” You wait patiently for him to elaborate. The last thing you wanted to discuss with Yoongi was this, but you figured he had the most experience out of all people you knew.    You just want to keep up with Jungkook. It might be petty and dumb, but you have a desire to be better than his past relationships and be the best.   “Yeah.” He nods awkwardly and leaves it a bit vague. “Sometimes we introduced toys, different positions, or someone took charge. Made things more fun.”   There’s a long pause as the both of you watch the curling game, how the Switzerland team does a smooth takeout of the opponent's stone. For a moment, you forget about the conversation, cheering with everyone else. But once it dies down, you look back at him. “How...how does one take charge?”   Yoongi smirks, the corner of his mouth tugging as he realizes he could give you any advice, but he decides to play nice and be real, “You just gotta be bold. Take what you want. Don’t think twice about it.”   “And...that’s not weird?”   “Nope.” Yoongi shakes his head. “Jungkook would probably like it. Or you could always ask him to make sure.”   You’re flustered, but you nod. “Thanks, Yoongi.”   He hums a note to acknowledge your gratitude, acting casual, but he makes a mental note that Jungkook owes him one for the fun he’s about to have.   //   His feet are flat on the pedals, riding the bike forward, but he stops for a moment, letting the built momentum carry himself forward. It’s sunny, the warmth of the rays kissing his cheeks, cool breeze carding through his hair. He hums a song underneath his breath, enjoying the surroundings.   “So slow, Kook.” Taehyung grins, riding past and disrupting the peace when he puts his arms in the air and hollers, waking up the entire block. “Can’t remember the last time I did this!”   “You should be careful,” Jungkook shouts above the wind. “If you get hurt, Coach and Yoonji will kill you.”   He looks over his shoulder, giving a cheesy smile. “You’re beginning to sound like Y/N.”   “Well, she’s always right so…”   They both ride downhill, moving past a group of female cross-country skiers walking together and Taehyung winks at one of them, making her swoon. Jungkook scoffs with a grin.   It was nice to be out with his best friend, renting bikes and cycling through the village. It was like the pleasantville universe was encapsulated in one tiny space, contained by these walls and kept safe from the chaotic world. Jungkook could spend the rest of his life like this. Everything was perfect here.    Until….he makes it down a block and spots two figures walking side by side.    Jungkook slows down and spots you in an instant. “Y/N?” And you’re with someone else that he recognizes.   He stops meters ahead, delayed and he turns around. Taehyung ahead has noticed too and halted. “Jeon!” Junmyeon is grinning, lightly jogging up to him. “I see you’re enjoying yourself.”   “Yeah...ummm…” The boy glances at you and then his old friend.   “I was looking for you and I ran into him,” you explain, “He was just telling me some stories about you.”   It’s strange and he stares at his old friend skeptically. “What...kind of stories?”   “Nothing bad, I promise,” he laughs. “Just how you used to sign hockey pucks and toss them over the glass barrier to kids, even though coach told you not to. Oh, also that time you fell on your ass on the ice and bruised your tailbone and you had to sit on one of those donut pillows for like five months—”   “That hurt, you know,” he exhales in defeat. Taehyung approaches with his bike at his side, grinning from the story.   Junmyeon smiles. “You guys should come watch us at the hockey quarter-finals. It’s happening later today.”   “You guys passed the preliminaries?”   His grin widens. “By a landslide.”   “C-Congratulations.” Jungkook genuinely means it, slightly surprised but mostly proud.   His old friend’s smile softens and he repeats, “You should come to the quarter-finals, Jeon. I could get you tickets no problem. It would be nice to have you there...for old times’ sake.”   “Oh, we have practice.” Jungkook looks at Taehyung who slowly nods, deciding to back up his claim while you don’t say anything at all. “So I don’t know if we can make it…”   “Then you should come to the after party,” he suggests. “It might be a celebration or a pity party, but either way, it’ll be nice to have you there. The team actually misses you a lot and they’ve been hounding me to invite you. So if you guys have time, you should swing by.”   It takes a delayed second for him to nod and when he doesn’t say anything, you step in. “Good luck. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”   “Thanks.”   “We’re rooting for you,” Taehyung cheers and starts singing the national anthem much to the hockey captain’s amusement who ends up joining the sing-along.    There are a few more words exchanged before Jungkook makes an excuse to go. Taehyung rides off while Jungkook convinces you to get onto the back of his bike on the rear seat. With your legs lifted on the side and your arms wrap around his abdomen, Jungkook rides off, leaving Junmyeon in the dust.   He won’t go.   Jungkook doesn’t want to. Yoonji’s words ring inside his mind. And he doesn’t like himself very much when he’s with them either. If his memory hasn’t failed him, he was indeed an ass and he doesn’t need that in his life. It’s all in the past and should be left there. Plus, he much prefers hanging out with Taehyung in the gaming lounge.   The two of them end up winding down with controllers in hand. “Go, go….”   Jungkook is quiet, concentrated, brows furrowed and even more serious than when he curls. Taehyung, on the other hand, is louder, shouting and getting wrapped up in it. He’s making a ruckus that’ll probably warrant someone stomping in and telling them to shut up. But for now, the round ends and with the loading screen, he leans back, giving his vocal cords a slight rest.   “You know, I wouldn’t be mad if you ditched me to go,” Taehyung mumbles.   He sips on his banana milk that he found in the vending machine. “Go where?”   “To the party.”   Jungkook glances over and their eyes meet. “I wouldn’t ditch you go to a dumb party, Tae.”   “But you should.”   He frowns. “Why?”   Taehyung shrugs. “You and I always hang out. When do you ever get a chance to hang out with those guys anymore?”   “I don’t want to hang out with them,” he mutters and spams the buttons on his controller. For some reason, the loading screen is taking excruciatingly long. “Goddammit…” Jungkook ends up sliding off his beanbag chair and he pounds his fist at the top of the console. He considers resetting it, but doesn’t for the sake of not losing all progress made.    “I still think you should go, Kook.” It’s out of the blue and he’s being oddly insistent. “They used to be your friends, right? If it were me and I hadn’t seen you in a long time, I’d want you to come.”   The dark-haired boy remains quiet and Taehyung continues, “Just saying, we always hang out. A chance to go to a party doesn’t come often. Should take advantage of it. You know, so you won't regret it later on. At least check it out.”   “I know what those parties are like. It’s nothing exciting.”   “Then there’s no harm in going,” the brunette points out. “We’ll have many times like this again. Trust me, Kook, I have lots of plans of crashing your apartment and raiding your fridge and couch surfing and playing video games with you till early morning and our eyes are burning.”   The corner of his mouth threatens to tug. “I’m not letting you in.”   “Too bad, I’ll get you a copy of your key. I know you keep the spare in the potted plant.”   Jungkook scoffs and turns around to face his friend instead of trying to run away again. “Why don’t you come with me then?”   “Nah, I don’t know those guys like you do. Plus, I’ve made some friends with a few short track kids. I’ll be fine.”   A small smile plastered on his face. “Are you trying to ditch me so you can go hang out with your new friends?”   “Don’t expose me,” Taehyung quips mischievously.    Jungkook takes a deep breath. He wants to stay, but another part of him tells him to go….so he braces himself and gets up, deciding to just give it a good ten minutes. He can always come back here and play for the rest of the night.   The curler ends up marching across the village to a different apartment area where loud music is already beginning to rumble the ground and the walls. It’s deafening and there are a bunch of people he doesn’t recognize around, girls and guys from every nation giggling and leaning against each other.   It’s déjà vu.   It feels like he’s stepping in a time machine, going back years ago when he didn’t know much, when he didn’t know loss or pain, only passion and hard work and this….   “Holy fuck! Is that Jeon Jungkook?!”   There’s howling and roaring from the team as he steps into the room and immediately, a grin spreads into his face. He’s bombarded and body slammed. “Fuck, Chanyeol. Chill, dude.”   “Thought I’d never see you again!”   Yixing approaches, shoving Chanyeol out of the way to engulf Jungkook an in a drunken hug, slurring something barely coherent, “—disappeared off the face of the fucking earth. I missed you so much, bro.”   “I- uh...missed you too.”   “I’m glad you could come.” Junmyeon pushes himself out of the dancing crowd, holding his red cup in hand, wearing a smile towards him.   “Glad I could make it,” he responds with his own smile.   “Hey! Someone go get Jongin, he’s gonna cry when he sees Jeon!”   “Someone get this man a drink,” Minseok shouts above the crowds.   “On it!” Jongdae holds his red solo cup over his head, cutting through the masses. There are a bunch of eyes pinned on Jungkook, wondering who he is for this many to be catering to him. There are girls interested in him too, coming closer, but he doesn’t notice them, focusing solely on his friends.   There’s barely time to breathe, much less to allow anyone to chat him up. Jungkook drinks, plays a few rounds of beer pong and takes the shots shoved into his hands. And he’s passed around from buddy to buddy, having never been touched so much. Literally. They’re handsy when they drink and sentimental. Jungkook is pulled into half-hugs, full-hugs, fist bumps, rough pats on the back, fancy handshakes he barely remembers and obnoxious team cheers.    It’s a whirlwind. He stays longer than intended. But it’s fun.   Jungkook forgot it was like this and he doesn’t know why he was so afraid of this atmosphere, afraid of confronting his old teammates. In fact, he misses it. Then Jungkook remembers that he never chose to leave this, never voluntary. It was ripped away from him, by the injury he caused himself...   There’s finally some peace when Baekhyun decides to do keg stands and Sehun holds him up while the rest of the idiots cheer them on. Kyungsoo is leaning against the wall, wearing a poker face as he drinks. It’s quiet and nice, allowing Jungkok to regain his energy. “You’ve been doing….curling?”   “Yeah. It’s cool.”   “Heard you were good.”   “Really?” He’s pleasantly surprised. “From who?”   Kyungsoo shrugs. “Just around. You like it?”   “I do.”   He hums, wearing a kind and small smile. “I’m glad you’re doing something, Jungkook.”   “I would never leave the ice for the world,” he says and they exchange knowing smiles.   “Coach was right.” Kyungsoo sips his vodka-mixed drink and their private conversation isn’t tense or wistful, but filled with the shorter male’s admiration. “No matter what you do, you’d be good at it. There’s no one else who can survive like you can.”   “That’s not true.”   “You don’t think so?” His cup motions over to the group. “If Baekhyun or Yixing ever went through what you did, I doubt they’d be able to cope. Probably would be laying in bed somewhere, wasting their lives away...not that they already aren’t wasting their lives away.”   But Jungkook doesn’t feel powerful, resilient, or strong.   Once he’s overcome his fear of confronting his teammates, he’s filled with sadness.   He’s getting glimpses back into the life that should’ve been his.   Jungkook drinks and drinks, doing shots, taking anything Jongin gives him, what Minseok passes into his hands. He takes it in to smother the emotions in the pits of his stomach, to drown them away.    Eventually, when the party dies down, some of the members go off with girls and others pass out on the floor. He, on the other hand, waves his hand and rejects the offer of sleeping on the couch.   Instead, Jungkook stumbles around Olympic village at two in the morning.   He feels like singing, but keeps quiet with his mission in mind. There’s something he wants to do badly, someone he wants to see.    Jungkook’s vision warps and he leans on the wall for leverage, heavy breaths drawing out of his lungs. He barely remembers going into the apartment and up the elevator, but here he is, staggering down the hall.   He finds the door and begins to pound his fist on it, letting the sound boom down the corridor. From the deepest part of his voice, Jungkook shouts your name. “Y/N! Y/N!”    He’s not sure how long he does it for, but soon, the surface his fist is smashing against moves away from him. The hinges creak and he greets the dark room. You’re clad in your pajamas, bed-head and all, sleepiness making it hard to muster the energy to be angry. “Jungkook? What are you doing here? Yoongi’s asleep! Are you drunk?”   The boy doesn’t say anything and you don’t need a verbal answer when he reeks of alcohol.   But you’re unable to say any more when he falls forward, arms wrapping around your shoulders, abruptly hugging your body. His own frame overtakes yours, covering you fully like a shield. Jungkook holds you tightly as if he’s too afraid to let you go and while you’re caught off guard, you ease into his grasps. Your own hands lift up to his back, patting him gently as he squeezes you.   Jungkook’s black mop of hair shags down over his red eyes, downcast head slumped onto your shoulder and he whispers, “I missed you.”   You smile softly, feet bare on the carpet and not ready to greet the cold temperature in the hall, but you’re warm from his embrace. “We saw each other a few hours ago.”   You underestimate Jungkook’s current state, not aware of how emotional he’s feeling. So it’s another surprise when he suddenly begins to cry into your shoulder.    Soft sobs break out of Jungkook’s body, making your pajamas wet, but you hold onto him, letting him quietly cry into you. You pat him gently, soothing him and listening to his soft, drunken sobs as he lets it all out.    “I...I miss hockey.” Broken words tear out of his constricting throat and you realize he’s not just hugging you, but you’re cradling him in your arms, providing him comfort and security that he’s desperately seeking.   “I know,” you murmur back.    The pair of you stand there for a long moment, halfway between the bright hallway and the dark room. It’s quiet with people sleeping in their quarters, peaceful as you hold Jungkook, bodies pressed together, and he drunkenly cries on you. You can hear his heartbeat and the way he eventually quiets and hiccups. But even when he finishes, Jungkook doesn’t want to let go.    You’re not just his teddy bear. You’re his person.   Someone who stays by his side through thick and thin, someone that is not said but promised, the human being that is closest to him of all human beings, unconditional. You go beyond being a best friend for Jungkook, beyond a mere girlfriend or partner. You are everything that really matters and that fact won’t ever change no matter what form your relationship takes.   “C-can I come in?”   “You have to be quiet, alright?”   “Okay.” He nods and you let go while still holding his hands, shutting the door and helping him slip off his shoes. You lead the drunken boy into your room with Yoonji on the other side meters away, curled up in her lump of blankets, snoring and oblivious to what’s happening.    You bring your boyfriend to your bed, not letting him stumble into the furniture and you tuck him in, pulling his blankets up. But he still tugs you into him, cuddling your body, nuzzling into your hair and the pair of you fall asleep with arms and legs tangled together.   //   Morning comes with blinding sunlight, stirring him awake to a massive headache. You’re still asleep, so Jungkook carefully crawls over you, rolling his way to the washroom. He grabs the new toothbrush that the accommodation gave, tearing the plastic to open it and he squeezes out your toothpaste……….all while Yoonji is glaring at him in the mirror, standing next to him at the sink.   He’s not allowed in here and thus, when she woke up and saw him across the room, Yoonji was not amused. But Jungkook doesn’t particularly care that she’s glaring with him. He’s too busy nursing a hangover and that’s not even the worst part — he remembers how he used you and cried on you pathetically without providing much context, also nearly waking up the entire goddamn apartment building.    Yoonji spits out her toothpaste, rinses her mouth and splashes water on her face. She brushes her hair roughly while Jungkook finishes up himself. “You guys didn’t have sex when I was sleeping a foot away, right?”   “No,” he answers honestly.   “Good.” Relief overtakes the female curler. “I don’t want to be involved with you freaks in any shape or form.”   It’s true that he didn’t do anything to that extent, but the bar is set low. He still showed up unannounced banging on your door. If he had woken up Yoonji, he probably wouldn’t be alive anymore. But even if that didn’t happen and the only punishment he has for last night’s bad decisions is a hangover, he still feels like an ass — for irresponsibly going out drinking and making you take care of him afterwards, for treating you the way he did in front of those guys, for not talking much these days or telling you what’s wrong with him. Not to mention, he hasn’t been out on a date with you in the recent weeks leading up to getting here.   So he slips out before you’re awake, going down to the shopping center for overpriced flowers.    Jungkook’s stared at by many, wondering who he was buying them for, overhearing that it’s a sweet gesture no matter who it could be, but he knows it’s not enough to make up for these past few days. Yet somehow, you still grin when he hands them to you and it’s infectious enough to make him smile too.   “What are these for?”   “It’s Valentine’s today.”   “It is?” Your surprise morphs into dread. “I...didn’t get you anything!”   “It’s okay.” Jungkook laughs. “We agreed we weren’t going to do it this year, so it’s okay. You didn’t forget anything.”   “Then what are these for?” You dig your nose into the bouquet, smelling the pink tulips.   “It’s just something I got when I was thinking about you.”   Your smile is sweet, but eyes have a glimmer of mischief. “Not as a thank you because I let you in last night instead of kicking you to the curb?” You don’t mention the crying part as if it’s too intimate to poke fun at and make him embarrassed about.   “No.” He pouts. “But maybe that too.”   “If Adora or Namjoon saw me sneaking you in after hours, he’d give us another earful. Remember last time when we were at WMDCC?”   “It’s not like the others aren’t doing it.” He plops down, sitting on the edge of your bed that still hasn’t been made, sheets ruffled with your nice scent clinging onto them. Jungkook watches as you put the bouquet down on the nightstand, propped up against the lamp. “Taehyung banished me from the room. He’s off with some figure skater he met in the dining hall.”   You hum. “Yoonji’s having fun with some cross-country skier, I think. So...we have the room to ourselves.”   He smiles, nose wrinkling slightly, teeth shown. “What are you insinuating?”   “That we celebrate Valentine’s properly.” You shove Jungkook’s shoulder and he falls back onto the mattress, allowing you to come up and straddle his hips. His smile wipes off, brows lifting, entertained at the new change of pace.   “I don’t have a cond—”   “It’s okay. I have some. Took them from the dispenser machine.” You sit right where his cock is hardening, letting your weight sink onto his bulge and he chokes on air, hands coming up to hold your waist. It’s supposed to be him making it up to you and rather than feeling guilt, he’s beginning to feel more rewarded.   “Is everything okay?” Jungkook has to ask, too curious for his own good. Usually you’re more coy, but he doesn’t mind as long as it’s you.   It’s a question you should be asking him, but it seems like an afternoon where things are happening the other way around.   “Why?” You’re on slight alert, apprehensive and watching his reaction. “Is this weird?”   You’ve taken Yoongi’s advice, trying to be bolder, but deep down you’re still self-conscious. Thankfully, he shakes his head. “No. I like it. I like you. It’s just different.”   “Y-yeah.” Your fingers tremble as they play with the hem of his shirt, lifting it slowly like you’re trying to steal a peek and as if it’s not already meant for only your eyes in the first place. “Just wanted to try something...different.”   “Different isn’t bad,” he comments and you reach down to kiss him. Jungkook grabs the back of your neck, deepening the kiss until it’s wet and warm and good enough to make your toes curl. His kisses aren’t as shy as they used to be — it’s more comfortable and practiced, knowing you well enough to eagerly welcome you on his tongue.   And once you break apart, your lips are swollen and red in the same shade. “I wanna be better than those girls,” you admit thoughtlessly in a whisper, playing with the zipper on his jeans and wanting something underneath it.   “What girls?”   Jungkook blinks, sincerely having no idea what you mean. In the meanwhile, you continue to fumble with pants again, a bit more nervous. “No one. Never mind.”   “I love you,” he confesses quietly. Those words have only been said a handful of times before, so he means it. Jungkook’s past relationships were derived from peer pressure, reckless and immature. It’s so much nicer to be with someone, to touch someone when there’s that emotional intensity. And as he mulls over such thoughts, he pulls you down to kiss you again, gentler this time. “You know that.”   “I do.” You smile once you pull away. “And I love you back.”   Jungkook’s grin could make his cheeks burst. “Good.”   His declaration makes you happier than you’d like to admit. And once you rip off Jungkook’s pants once and for all, he’s also happier than he’d like to admit.   //   “Alright, gather up!” Namjoon’s voice roars in the empty space, sound echoing loudly even when all four of you are standing just meters away. Adora is placed beside her partner in crime, hands on her hips as she wears a stern expression. “We realized recently that we’ve been too lax with you guys here. There’s been too much slacking.”   “Oh, please.” Yoonji rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to lie to motivate us. We know we’re the best team you guys have — that’s why we’re the only ones here, right?”   Adora points her clipboard at the female. “That kind of arrogant talk will make you get bronze.”   She gasps, wholly offended by the idea. “Bronze? I’d rather get nothing.”   “At this rate, you’ll get nothing,” Namjoon interrupts with a sigh. “We might have passed all seven trial games, but we need to focus for the semi-finals. We’re going up against the Beijing team. This is their home turf, so we can’t let our guard down. Got that, Yoonji?”   She mumbles with a pout, “Yes…”   “There’s just a few pointers we need to go through. Remember to take advantage of the free guard zone.” All of you have watched videos of the opponents, taking notes on their techniques and strategies, and they have it down solid. “They’re good. We should make it tough for them. Make them play pressure shots. And if we get the hammer shot, then aim to get multiple points. But sometimes, it’s okay to take the single.”   He continues to elaborate as you listen and then Adora steps in. “You guys already make eighty five percent of your intended shots. Majority of the shots are made and as much as we go over strategies, it’s difficult since decisions have to be made in the moment. So for today, I think we should practice some takeout shots and do a defensive play and make sure we get that fifteen percent that you guys are missing.”   “Aye-aye, captain!” Taehyung grins, saluting the coach much to her dismay.   Yoonji goes first as usual.   She gets down, feet a few inches apart with her slider foot slightly forward and her weight put on the hack foot. Her shoulders and hips are level and she feels the weight of the stone, pulling it back to the toe of her hack foot. She moves her slider foot straight back, weight transferred onto it and her hips raise. The weight moves back and she pushes out, releasing the stone in a smooth motion.   It curls down the sheet, heading closer to the button of the house. Your eyes narrow and you begin to shout encouragements. Jungkook and Taehyung both begin to brush, arms working fast and once they stop, the stone halts right on the button…   ….   The crowd erupts in cheers.   The team members on the opponent side grin, nodding and talking amongst themselves, obviously impressed with the play.   The semi-finals should be nerve-racking.   Your body should be slick with sweat, hands trembling, mind numb as you consider this is one of the most important games of your entire career. But instead, you find yourself having a lot of fun. While the opponents have tricks up their sleeves, surprising you every so often, you have your own.   The crowd also hypes the players up. Their howling, cheering, chanting sets the perfect mood for the game. It’s hard to find people as passionate about curling as you are, but here, everyone cares about the sport wholeheartedly and their applause is music to your ears.    Taehyung swaps with Yoonji and they high-five each other as they pass.   “You got this, Taehyung,” you encourage him, glad that practice went well enough to give him more confidence. It was going exactly as planned.   He smirks, arrogantly even and you muse how Yoonji must be rubbing off of him. “I know.”   The brunette makes you scoff, but his remark is well deserved when he manages a double takeout of the opponent’s stone. It’s still a close game, but Taehyung’s following plays remove their stones from the house and Jungkook sets up the perfect draw shots for you.   In the heat of the moment, you decide to take on a bold tactic, continuing to score despite inadvertently giving them the hammer. It’s risky, but you’re still ahead. And with eight ends finishing and only one more, your breath is bated, watching as their last stone takes only one of your own out.   It’s a steal in your end.   The people around the stadium stand in cheers, sound erupting. Jungkook runs over, nearly tumbling on the ice but he catches balance and engulfs you in a hug, swinging you up and squeezing laughter out of your lungs. Namjoon and Adora are losing their minds, grabbing their hair and mouths dropped in disbelief. Taehyung and Yoonji are in a similar state, screaming with their arms in the air. The China team claps, having tried their best and giving you a minute before they go over and shake your hands.   The four of you are going to the finals, taking silver or gold home.    Either way, you’re guaranteed winners.   //   “You think my dad would like this shirt?”   You hold up the white sleeveless tee with the brown bear mascot printed on it. It’s horribly obnoxious and makes Jungkook grin. “No. But if you bought it for him, he’d still wear it. He’d wear anything you buy him.”   “Yeah, but he’d secretly hate it and I’d feel bad.” You smile, putting it back on the rack properly.   The two of you are walking through the shopping center aisles together, looking at knick-knacks and souvenirs to bring home. Jungkook’s following along — and you muse that you’re not the only one who steals clothes from him. He’s wearing your oversized pink hoodie, three sizes too large for you that fits him perfectly. It’s a bright, cute colour that makes him soft and you have to resist the urge to hug him; lest Yoonji somehow show up and mutter something about how gross you two are.   “Hey, what do you think about this?”   “About what?”   Jungkook gingerly plops a headband on your head and you turn to glance in the mirror, finding yourself with bear ears. When you turn back to Jungkook, he’s wearing the cheesiest smile, endeared by you. “It’s cute.”   You grab another headband on the shelf, reaching up to put it on his own head. “You’re cuter.”   “I doubt it.” Jungkook pulls you in to share a discreet kiss between the shopping aisles. It’s short, but enough to make your toes tingle and he smiles against your mouth before pulling away. A group of girls walking past and peeking down the aisle are disappointed, having been using him as eye candy.   You continue walking with him, wearing the headband and deciding to buy them before you leave. “Hey, Jungkook…”   “Hmm?”   “You know I’ll support you in whatever you want, right? That includes if you want to continue curling or try hockey again.” You turn to him, serious, lips fallen into a straight line.   “I...I can’t—”   “You haven’t tried yet,” you tell him. “We both know there are athletes out there who come back after injuries that are supposed to end their careers. I know there’s not a lot of them out there and chances are slim. But if there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you.”   There’s suddenly heavy pressure placed upon his shoulders.   Jungkook begins to break out into a sweat. He doesn’t know what he wants anymore. And his lips part to say something, but you continue, beating him to the punch.   “If you give up curling, that doesn’t mean you’re losing me. I’m mutually exclusive from it. You know that, right? That it doesn’t matter to me — curling or hockey or anything else. Even if you wanted to retire from sports. You’d still be my best friend.”   He smiles softly. “What about being your boyfriend?”   “That too.” You continue walking with him alongside you. “If you miss the ice, we can learn how to skate together again. If you want. But one thing’s for sure, you can’t be as bad as I am.”   “You’re not that bad.”   “Really?” Your expression is overcome with disbelief and it makes him laugh which in turn causes a smile to pull up into your cheeks. “I want you to be happy.”   He assures you, “I am happy.”   “Happier, then. I want to help you achieve whatever you want.”   Jungkook’s heart feels warm. It goes quiet for a few minutes, you checking out the snow globes while he’s leaning against the shelves, staring. It makes you self-conscious, palms clammy and you’re about to ask him to stop looking at you like that, but this time, he’s the one to speak first.   “Do you want to come with me? I...heard the hockey team has their semis tonight.”   You smile, elated at the invitation. “I’d be happy to.”   The promising words that draw out of your lips might not seem much to you, but for Jungkook, it provides him relief that you’re here to stay — a constant in his life.   //   It’s crowded.   There are more people here than in curling games, understandable considering hockey is a popular sport, but it’s a whole nother category of passion. There are people wearing the player’s jerseys, faces painted in their nation’s colours, carrying signs with them and even holding hockey trading cards.   A few people recognize Jungkook, gasping when they see him, and he smiles meekly, mumbling a few ‘hellos’ as he shuffles past. The roaring music and cheers make goosebumps run up his arms. He has an urge to turn around and book it out of the stadium, but with you by his side, he’s able to muster enough courage to keep going.   Jungkook expects to sit there, watch the game and then leave when it’s over. But what he doesn’t anticipate is to run into a familiar man on his way up the stands. “J-Jungkook?”   “Coach...”   “Oh my god.” The old man’s mouth has fallen open and then he chuckles deep within his chest, grinning and coming over to hug Jungkook, wrinkling his own suit in the process. “They really weren’t lying. I didn’t know I’d see you here. I...I can’t believe it.”   The boy laughs as he’s being let go. “Well, believe it, old man.”    “You made it. You’re at the Olympics.” He pats him on the back, radiating pride. “I knew you could make it, Jeon.”   Jungkook grins. “Thanks for believing in me.”   Coach looks over to you. “This is….?”   “Y/N.” The boy happily announces, “My girlfriend.”   The older male shakes your hand firmly. “Nice to meet you.”    “This is my old coach,” Jungkook introduces to you.   “The one and only.” He smiles before looking at the former hockey player. “You should come say hi to the team.”   “Oh…” Jungkook glances at you who encourages him to go. But, he still hesitates. “Aren’t they going out soon?”   “In a little bit, but I think seeing you will help motivate them.”   He nods and while you go up to the stands to save your seats, Jungkook goes to the back locker rooms. The other members greet him with hugs and fist bumps while he wishes them good luck. They end up dragging him to do the usual chant, huddled up together, heads down, jumping in a circle as they hype each other up. It’s nostalgic. The smiles are infectious too but as they go out one by one, Jungkook’s left behind.   After a moment, their backsides disappear beyond the doorway and he strolls back to join you at the stands. It’s a good spot, overseeing the entire rink. Jungkook’s also comforted that you’re here and he’s not alone. But before the game officially begins, the national anthem plays and the players skate around, exchanging hand shakes with their opponents. Jungkook takes the time to teach you the game.   “So the line in the middle is called the centerline and the blue lines divide the rink into three zones. There’s the neutral zone in the middle and two end zones, and the red lines at the end are the goal lines. The dots are the face off spots—”   “I know,” you laugh, saving him from having to explain the rules. “I’ve been to hockey games a couple times before.”   “You have?”   “Yeah. I watched you play before.”   “You have?” Jungkook’s more surprised than before, not knowing that you actually saw him.   “I...was your fan actually,” you admit sheepishly.   “Well, I knew that.”   It’s your turn to be shocked. “How?”   The boy in the blue toque and red mittens shrugs playfully. “Just a feeling. But I didn’t know you actually came to my game. Why didn’t you ever approach me or talk to me?”   “Why?” You giggle, the answer obvious. “You didn’t know who I was and I doubt you would’ve given me the time of day.”   Part of Jungkook wants to say that you two could’ve started your relationship sooner instead of meeting you for the first time when he joined curling. But then again, he was an ass back then — exactly what Yoonji had initially assumed about him. He played around a lot, but he’s certain that…   “I still would’ve liked you.”   You smile, appreciating his sentiment.    The game begins and the two of you watch intently — three periods that are twenty minutes each and two intermissions where you and Jungkook stretch your limbs, waiting. But during that time, he ends up getting caught up in some fans who knew him, signing someone’s jersey and taking a few pictures. It’s cute...until a stranger asks him for his number and that’s when you make your appearance, scaring her off much to Jungkook’s amusement who considers you too adorable to actually frighten someone.    Jungkook feels like a retired celebrity and he channels his cockiness which makes you roll your eyes. The game eventually continues and he loses his annoying persona.   It goes twenty minutes into overtime until Junmyeon scores straight into the opponent’s net.   Everyone watching in the stadium stands on their feet, cheering, hollering and clapping. Your boyfriend screams out his friend’s name loud enough that the hockey planner actually spots him and waves.    It’s strange. Jungkook doesn’t feel burdened or jealous. He’s proud.   //   The stadium slowly files out, people leaving one by one.   You’re off, meeting with Yoonji and Taehyung down the street for the hockey team’s after party that all you were invited too, but Jungkook stays behind. Just for a moment to himself. And he finds himself walking down closer to the rink until he’s leaning on the railing, staring at the surface that’s no longer smooth, intricate grooves and designs made from the skates.   He looks up, allowing the bright lights to shine into his eyes and burns his vision. Jungkook imagines the stadium filled with people again. In his fantasy, this time it’s him who’s skating on the ice. He can still remember when he was the one to shoot the winning goal, how his friends piled on top of him and his coach stood proud amongst the crowd, his parents clapping at the stands while people screamed his name.   It’s different now — but also very much the same.   There’s still people clapping, shouting his name, parents and coaches cheering for him. He’s still on the ice with the lights shining down and his friends always pile on top of him in hugs of victory….   “Hey, you alright?” Junmyeon exits the locker room, clad in his dark tracksuit, and he drops his duffle bag on the floor, throwing the towel from his shoulder down to join him.   “Congratulations, dude.” They both fist bump and half hug each other, patting one another on the back.   “Thanks.” The shorter male grins. “You looked like you were deep in thought. What’s up?”   “Nah. It was nothing. Maybe just considering that you were great on the ice. It was a good game and fun to watch. I never got many chances to just watch back in the day.” Jungkook musters up the courage to deliver the words he’s been thinking, “You deserve to be captain, Junmyeon.”   He smiles softly and they both lean on the railing, looking out to the rink, cheeks cooling down from the cold temperature. “I don’t know about that, Jeon. I had big shoes to fill. I still do.”   Jungkook smiles. “That’s not true.”   “It is. You’d be surprised.” The hockey player glances at him. “When you left, it was a huge loss. It was hard for us and we couldn’t even imagine how you were feeling. I’m glad you’re doing well, Kook.”   The curler takes the words in somberly. “I’m sorry I avoided you guys. I….didn’t want to see you or talk and I ended up shutting you all out.”   “Hey, man…” It’s an awkward heart to heart, but Junmyeon sympathizes and pats him on the back before retracting his arm. “...that’s understandable….”   “I was scared of coming today, you know that?” Jungkook knocks his head back to stare at the fluorescent lights again. They don’t seem so dazzling right now. “Of watching a game. Of that stupid party. I was scared of all of this….scared that I would miss it. Of missing hockey.”   “Do you?”   “Yeah,” Jungkook answers after a second of consideration and he looks at his friend. “I was mad, you know. I was angry and upset about that injury that I caused myself.”   “You didn’t cause it yourself—”   “I was the one who pushed myself. I should’ve….” There’s so many things he should’ve done differently, he doesn’t know what to start with. Jungkook wonders at what point he started to harbour so many regrets. “Should’ve known better.”   It’s one thing to retire. It’s another for it to be taken away from him.   It’s so goddamn unfair. Jungkook wants to cry again.   “Don’t blame yourself. It was us who should’ve helped you. We’re a team,” Junmyeon says with his brows furrowed, “But we don’t act like it.”   He sighs, running a hand over his face, other arm dropping over the railing as he leans over with his entire body weight. “I don’t feel like a survivor, Jun. Everyone has so many expectations for me, even now. It’s a miracle that I’m here...that I made it in another sport. But I don’t feel like I’ve beat the odds or that I’m some kind of genius golden boy who’s good at everything he does.”   “You are a survivor.” Junmyeon grins, looking at his friend. “I know people’s expectations might seem a lot to handle, but you still made it, dude. Your injury was supposed to stop your hockey career, but here you are. Anyone else who was in your position, they’d be broken.”   “I was broken. I was lost.”    “But you’re standing at the Olympics. You did it through hard work, not just luck or natural skill. Or by some miracle. You worked your ass off to learn a new sport, to keep the name you had for yourself. You deserve the praise. You’re fucking amazing.”   “I’m not.”   “Just take the fucking compliment.” He laughs quietly. “It doesn’t have to be that deep. If you’re feeling pressured about expectations and how people see you, then stop giving a shit.”   He scoffs. “Easy for you to say.”   The hockey player smiles. “You might not be a hockey golden boy anymore, Jungkook. But you’re still an incredible person. You’re still you with or without hockey. Nothing was lost.”   Jungkook scoffs again, but this time his vision is blurred with tears. He rubs his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket and if Junmyeon notices then he doesn’t say anything.   He continues, “You know, I’ve noticed something about you these days, Kook. You seem a lot happier. I don’t know about you, but the days leading up to your injury, everyone was worried. The pressure was real, but you were especially tense and stressed. I know how it can get when you’re captain, trust me, I know now. It feels like everyone’s riding on your shoulders. But back then, I could tell it was getting to you and the entire team...we were all drifting apart and growing distant from each other. But you seem a lot better now. Healthier. Happier. Back to your old self.” Junmyeon smiles. “If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought that you willingly retired from hockey because you it got too easy for you and you told the rest of us to fuck off.”   Jungkook laughs, sound ringing from his chest. “I’d never do that.”   “I’m not so sure.” Junmyeon stands straighter. “You were real intense back in the day and man, could you imagine the media outlets freaking out that one of the best players said the sport sucked? That would’ve been a real power move. Big dick energy right there. Like Albert Einstein saying physics is for idiots. Damn. Would’ve made the rest of us look like fools.”   He grins, finished wiping his eyes. “Do I really seem happier than before?”   “A hundred percent,” he responds without a beat of hesitation. “That’s what Kyungsoo told me too. That injury should’ve ruined your life but here you are, riding bikes and shopping and you learnt a whole fucking sport in two years and made it to the Olympics. You came out on top with a smile. Happier than before. Fuck. If I didn’t know you, I’d be freaked out. You’re a beast.”   “You’re not just saying this shit to make me feel better, right?”   “No. I fucking suck ass at comforting people, you know that. I speak only truths.”   Jungkook smiles again and then he exhales softly. “Well...it’s not like I can change what happened to my injury.” The road to acceptance is long and instead of running away like he’s been doing, he’s slowly coming to terms with it. Even if it’s painful. “I had to make do with what I had.”   “And this is where you are. Better than before, I might argue.” There’s an extended moment of quiet, both looking out to the rink. Junmyeon pipes up, breaking the silence, “If there’s one thing I learnt ever since stepping up as captain — it’s that it’s not about the sport, Jungkook. It’s about the people too.”   “Are you still listening to those podcasts trying to be woke?”   “A little,” he admits with a grin. “But I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, those guys on the hockey team are hard workers and they’re great, but they’re also a toxic wasteland. It’s easy to be swept up in their idiocy. The pressure gets to you sometimes and you know that best.”   “Yeah….” Jungkook hums a note, feeling oddly introspective. “That was actually something I had to get used to when I joined this new team. They’re not like us, Jun.”   “Not like a frat house on fire?”   Jungkook laughs and nods. “They’re family.”   Men’s, Women’s, Mixed — everyone greeted and welcomed him warmly. Maybe because they’re older folks that are wiser, knowing what’s important in life and not concerned with partying or status. Jungkook always felt like they were dependable people. People who wouldn’t judge him wrongfully. Who saw him as one of their own, a son, a friend, not someone to be competed with.    It’s joining the curling team that Jungkook learnt what teamwork meant and knew what it’s like when everyone truly cares for each other.   “Wow,” Junmyeon exhales. “Are you trying to make me envious right now? I told you I was already intimidated by your hard work, okay? No need to make me jealous too.”   He lightly scoffs. “I’m not.”   The conversation simmers down and the curler takes a deep breath, tiny smile placed on his features as he stares out at the ice, less bitter than he was before. It was nice to talk like this, to have someone know his predicaments and not only lend a listening ear, but comforting words.   Jungkook thought that it would be hard to go to a game, to see his old friends again. But it wasn’t. Not at all. It was easy even. Sure, it brought up bad memories he wanted to run from, made him feel nostalgic and regretful and sad, but Jungkook also realizes that it wasn’t as great and grand as he had previously remembered.   He wasn’t that happy in the face of fame, of intensive struggle with people who encouraged and fueled his bad behaviour. It was only when he got away did it occur to him that he didn’t like the person he was and the person that he was becoming.   And it was only coming to this game did Jungkook realize that things weren’t so different now. He was still drowning in a sport he loved. He was still playing. He was still in a team. He was still under the fluorescent lights with people cheering him on. He was still on the ice.   “She’s a good fit for you, y’know,” the hockey player suddenly pipes up, interrupting his train of thought. “Y/N. She’s a nice girl.”   “I know.” Jungkook’s smile to himself softens.   “The moment I got a chance to talk to her, I thought ‘fucking hell, Jeon has it all, doesn’t he? He finally has his perfect girlfriend too.’”   “Perfect girlfriend?” The curler’s brow lift, tone less threatening and more mischievous.   “Perfect for you,” the hockey player clarifies with a grin, trying not to step on his friend’s toes by coming onto his girlfriend, “not for me.”   “How’d you know she’s my girlfriend?”   Junmyeon shrugs. “I just knew. Seemed like your type and you both looked happy as shit when you saw each other. It was actually pretty obvious. Damn. Now I’m really jealous of you. You’re just oozing with joy and happiness, aren’t you? Fucking rubbing it in all our faces that you’re better off without us.”   Jungkook bursts out laughing and pats him on the back. “I’m sure Irene would take you back.”   “Fuck no! Are you crazy?! I’d rather date car-keyer Jisoo than her again!” He visibly shivers and the Jungkook laughs again.   “You guys should come watch me curl,” he invites. “We’re having the finals in two days. And it’s not as dumb as some people might think. The sport’s pretty intense actually.”   “I heard.” Junmyeon smiles. “I heard you were good too. That true or just another rumour about the Great Jeon?”   “You have to come check out for yourself.”   //   The stadium is roaring.    People are stomping twice and then clapping once, letting the beat echo as they create their own music and drown out the commentators on the intercom. He can barely hear his own thoughts and Adora is wearing earplugs while Namjoon is relishing it, pretending he’s the king of this sport.    There are flags swirling, held up by people. Singing, cheering, hollering, blood-curdling screams, there’s everything. It feels more like an MMA fight than a curling game. And it’s scaring all four of you. Taehyung is shocked, mouth dropped wide open. But more importantly, the colour of red and white fills the crowd.   “Damn Canadians,” Yoonji mutters, knowing full well how crazy Canada is about curling.   “It’s kind of fun, huh,” you muse with a laugh, smiling towards the Canadian team that nod in acknowledgment.    Taehyung comes over, flinging his arm over your shoulder and Yoonji’s. “Well, let’s make the best of it. Either way we’re leaving with gold or silver.”    “If we win gold, what if they riot?” Yoonji asks with raised brows.   “Nah, they wouldn’t. Canadians are too nice for that.”   “You haven’t been to a hockey game in Canada,” Jungkook comments before catching someone up on the stands.    It’s his old coach and the rest of the hockey team, sitting awkwardly at the center of the stands, all too out of place. The visual makes Jungkook grin. “Is it always this crowded?” Minseok leans over to ask Junmyeon as if he knows.   Yoongi, beside them, turns his head. “You have a lot to learn around here.”   “This is a legit sport, huh?” Jongin is amazed, blinking twice as he gawks.    “Course it is. What did you expect?”   “I don’t….know.”   Chanyeol leans over to Sehun, shouting when the music begins again. “I don’t think any of our hockey games had this many people!”   “Oh shit!” Baekhyun is screaming, looking down at the curling sheet as players begin to move. “What’s happening?!”   “It’s a coin toss,” Yoongi says loudly, unimpressed by their stupidity. “Winner goes first.”   “Jeon’s going!” Yixing yells and then all of them stand up, screaming from deep in the pits of their stomach. Their competitive fire ignites inside of them, trying to beat the Canadian spectators in their cheers.   “Let’s go, Jeon!” — “Get that fucking coin toss!” — “Beat them, JK! You fucking got this man!”   The group is so loud that Jungkook notices in the midst of the noise and turns, waving to them with a ginormous grin. Junmyeon laughs his head off as the spectators in the stands continue to cheer, audience going wild.   The coldness of the ice wafts over, making the air frigid. His breath is seen every time he exhales, cheeks becoming rosy in the cold. He can’t feel anything, not his hands or the tip of his nose. The edges of his fingers tingle, mind tickling pleasantly. This is where he’s meant to be, where he worked so hard to get to.   The moment is perfect.   Taehyung and Yoonji are by his side, holding their brooms. More importantly, you’re here too, giving him a firm nod to go ahead. And Jungkook flips the coin, tossing it in the air and letting the surface shine against the bright lights.   The game ensues.

[Epilogue]   The door opens.   You barely have time to take off your shoes, running towards the tiny fenced area in the living room. “Where’s my baby?”   Jungkook enters, flicking on the lights in the foyer to shed the darkness away. In the meanwhile, you’re reaching down, arms holding his tiny body to Jungkook’s slight amusement. You’re cooing at it, apologizing for going out for dinner and leaving it alone for so long.   “We’re not going to keep the bunny, Y/N.”   “Why not?”   “Because we found him in front of our apartment and he could have rabies.”   “That’s why I set up a vet appointment on the weekend. And he’s not a wild rabbit. He’s a domesticated bunny that was in a cardboard box. Can you really let this fella go?”    Suddenly, the rabbit is shoved in his face. It’s ears are perked in the air, rounded eyes completely black, nose vibrating as it sniffs his scent. It’s a furry brown thing. Kind of cute. But he won’t let himself be swayed.   “Yes, I can.”    Jungkook moves away from the rabbit, stepping to the side, preferring to stare at you.   Your love for animals since childhood extended into adulthood and now you had enough money and independence to build your own zoo in the apartment without your mother saying ‘no’. On the bright side, at least capable of taking care of them. Jungkook still doesn’t like the bunny though.   It had to go.   “But it looks just like you. It’s adorable.” You’re squealing, gazing at the rodent with endearment that leaves Jungkook speechless. “I can’t let him go and risk Yoonji finding him and throwing him on a barbecue.”   “That was a joke,” he reminds and muses that Yoonji’s dark sense of humour finally matched with his own.    You’ve been spending so much time with that damn rabbit. More than him. At this point, Jungkook can’t help but look at the animal and think that it knows exactly what it’s doing. He wouldn’t be surprised if one day the damn animal was cause for you to kick him to the curb.    Mr. Steal Your Girl was very real and it came in the form of a disgustingly cute bunny.   “You know I don’t appreciate that joke.”   He sheds his taupe coat off and you put the bunny down in his large fenced area, petting him once before allowing Jungkook to help take off your own coat to hang up on the rack. “Who’s gonna watch it when we’re on our honeymoon?”   “Since when are we having a honeymoon?” You move to the fridge, looking for the celery. “You’re going to need to propose to me first before that happens. And if it ever happens—”   “When it happens,” he corrects.   “—Taehyung can watch him for us.”   “Taehyung can’t wipe his own ass.”   “Hey,” you twist around to defend your friend. “That only happened once because the men’s washroom ran out of toilet paper. What else was he supposed to do?”   “That’s what he says.” Jungkook grins, nose wrinkling. “I think he just forgot to wipe.”   You tottle over with celery in hand, leaning over the fence to feed the rabbit. At the same time, Jungkook’s phone lights up and he looks over the screen. “Namjoon just texted the group chat. He wants us to meet him at the rink.”   “But we just got home.” You pet the rabbit before leaving it alone, standing straight to pout at your boyfriend. Then, your expression lights up and a new idea spills from your lips— “Should we ditch?”   “Little Miss. Goody Two Shoes wants to ditch?” Jungkook grins and throws his phone on the couch, abandoning it to circle his arms around your waist. “Unheard of.”   “Only cause I’d rather go to bed and cuddle with you right now.”   “Sounds like a plan.” But before anyone moves, Jungkook can’t resist the urge to kiss you. He leans down, softly sealing your lips with his, gentle and saving more for later. It subtly takes like that vanilla ice-cream you two had for dessert and your smile against his mouth. Jungkook eventually pulls away and in the quietness of your shared apartment, except for the damn animal a few meters away still nibbling on a celery stalk, he whispers, “I’m so glad….”   “For what?”   “I don’t know. That I got to meet you. That you decided to actually talk to me instead of ignoring me.”   “I already apologized for that,” you sulk. “And it was because you were so insistent on getting to know me.”   He laughs and sighs softly, leaning his forehead on yours. “I’m just...happy to be here.”   There’s a pause. “You’re not proposing to me right now, are you?”   “No…” Jungkook moves away, knowing he’s treading on dangerous territory. He’s uncertain as he reads your expression. “...unless I should be….”   You giggle, poking his chest and he lets go of you. “You probably need a ring first. And please don’t bring Taehyung or Yoonji when you go ring shopping. She’d make you get something outrageous just to see you go broke, and don’t tell Taehyung but he...kind of has bad tastes.”   “What do you mean? I love that vase he got us during our housewarming party.” The pair of you look over to the coffee table where the flesh colour vase is. It’s a swirly shape, slightly curved and reminiscent to an erect dick — that’s what art is apparently. “I mean...the vase he made us.”   You tear your eyes away from the show stealer of the room, going back to the main conversation at hand. “Bring Junmyeon. He’s sensible and reasonable and he’d follow the budget. Or maybe Yoongi. I feel like he’d have a solid opinion.”   “Okay. But who says I don’t already have it?”   You step back in surprise, eyes wide. “Really?”   The phone abruptly rings. The sound is loud, interrupting the intimate moment. One glance at the screen and you two find Adora calling, probably angry that you’re ignoring the messages.   “We should probably go before she gets mad. Unless...you were serious about ditching.”   “No. Yoonji or Taehyung might end up breaking down our door. C’mon.” As tempting as it is to just curl up in bed with Jungkook, you have tomorrow and the next day and the next day after that to be with him. Years and years, in fact. So you muster up energy, walking over and tossing him his jacket. “Let’s go.”   Jungkook walks out the door, fingers laced together, holding your hand tightly. You leave together, perhaps to prepare for another competition, another match, another game. No matter what it is, he feels at ease that you’re here — chest warm, the regrets harboured no longer important.   Jungkook could take on anything.   Before the front door shuts, the lights in the hallway catch the display case by the television.    The two gold medals inside glimmer.

[discotenny]

Corner Store [1]

Description: Arthur Kirkland has owned and run a corner store for the past 15 years. He is determined to go through the rest of his life with minimal change. However, when he takes notice of three high school boys, his world gets turned around as he tries to piece back his life in a way that he thinks it's supposed to be. Word Count: 2,104 Warnings: Obsessive behavior, underlying issues, panic attack Characters in Chapter: Arthur Kirkland [Britain], Francis Bonnefoy[France], Alfred Jones[USA], Gilbert Beilschmidt[Prussia], Matthias Nillson[Denmark], Abel Sinterniklaas[Netherlands] Characters Mentioned: Peter Kirkland[Sealand], Toumas Nillson[Finland], Matthew Bonnefoy[Canada], Elizabeta Héderváry[Hungary], Ivan Braginsky[Russia]. Yao Wang[China], Lukas Nillson[Norway] Ship/s Mentioned: RusAme[Alfred & Ivan] AU: !Corner Store AU! !Human AU!

I know I know, this is a far division from the usual content I post on this blog haha. For those not in the loop[literally everyone who follows me], this is for a project and fandom dedicated to Hetalia! While it has had its ups and downs it remains an important part in my life for introducing me to this website + helping me discover writing for fandom lol. My part of the project is two chapters of a story idea I’ve had in my mind for a while. Also, consider this my official return from my [short] hiatus! -Mod Ioten <3

The coffee wasn’t in the right place. Nothing bothered Arthur more than when his store was out of order. An itch crept up into his hand, something that always appeared when anything wasn’t in its place. Several cans of instant coffee were right next to the bags of chips, but they were supposed to be in between the tea and coffee creamer.  He used to personally stock the shelves, but lately there were some issues he had to deal with at home and he had to hire someone to help him out. No matter how much he didn’t want to. Francis still had a lot to learn, but he did bring in more business; customers seem entranced by his charm, something Arthur didn’t understand. “Francis!” Arthur called, picking up a can. The Frenchman strutted in from the other side of the store holding a broom.

“Oui?” He gave a sly smile, and Arthur couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

“You put some of the coffee in the snack shelf while they’re supposed to go on the shelf above it.” Arthur began to move the cans, one by one to the correct shelf. Turning to his employee he asked, “Did you restock the milk yet? We ran out of whole and 2% yesterday.”

“You only had 2% in the back, no whole coming in until tomorrow,” Francis replied, sweeping the floor around them. Sighing, he stopped and looked up. “Mon ami, have you ever considered getting an air freshener around here? I’m tired of coming in and smelling dust, plastic, and prepackaged food.” Francis frowned, kicking a cobweb that nestled itself under the shelves. 

Arthur scoffed in reply, “It smells perfectly fine here. No one has complained so far, and no one ever will because the store smells fine.” Francis gave him a weak smile. 

“If you insist….”

Francis continued to sweep the floor, and Arthur finished fixing the shelves. Taking a step back, he smiled proudly at his work; despite how meaningless it may seem. Everything was in order, and the itchy feeling in his palm was gone. Checking down at his watch, there were twenty minutes until school ended for the nearby high school. Though Francis would be checking out soon to pick up one of his sons, and Arthur could always handle the influx of customers that came in at the time. Whether it be the high schoolers themselves, teachers, or random people who just happened to stop by, people would always come by the shop. Getting behind the counter, Arthur got himself comfortable for the afternoon rush. He took out one of the newspapers he sold. 

He tried to focus on the horrible news in the paper, yet Arthur’s cynical mind drifted to his customers. No one came in yet, no one ever came in at this time. The store stayed silent with the exception of the soft music coming from the radio that drowned out the pouring rain. But the same set of customers would soon come in once the final bell rang. The same three boys, always buying relatively the same items. One of them, Alfred, was Francis’ stepson. Despite not being blood-related, Arthur could see that Francis cared deeply about him. Alfred was a decent enough kid, a little too eccentric for Arthur’s liking, but he reminded him of his own son. Arthur was moderately familiar with Matthias, as Arthur used to tutor his younger brother, Lukas. Gilbert, Arthur only saw when he came in with Alfred and Matthias. 

Arthur moved his arm to check his watch again. Five minutes before the school bell rang. Humming quietly to himself, he took a look around the shop. For the past 15 years, this is where he’s been. Such simplicity, and yet it meant so much to him. It was absolutely, positively, completely perfect the way everything looked. 

He looked up from his paper to look at the window beside him. The clouds looked angry, and the rain got heavier and heavier to signify a storm approaching. People were walking down the sidewalk, and he could hear commotion making its way towards the store. The chime of a bell, signifying a customer entering, made Arthur unconsciously smile. Shuffling could be heard, and Arthur took a sip of his tea as wet footsteps approached the counter. “This will be all,” the low mumble was almost barely audible, but Arthur could recognize the person just by the items they bought. Never buying the same thing, Abel always bought the off-brand items due to how cheap they were. Tea biscuits, lightbulbs, and canned asparagus were his purchases for today. 

“If you looked next to the eggs we had some herbs for sale,” Arthur hummed. “Some celery was there as well.” The aura around Abel stiffened, and the large Dutchman tried his best to resist the temptation Arthur laid out. No matter how much he wanted to say otherwise, his soft spot for his rabbit outweighed his yearning for cash. 

Abel shakily sighed, “Is that so?” He had to keep his eyes from drifting away to the open-air fridge. Arthur felt a smile creep onto his face, keeping his head down as to not let his customer see. 

“Yeah, and Yao usually sells them for more than double our prices,” The words fell out of Arthur’s mouth smoothly, preying on the fact that the Dutchman couldn’t resist the best deal possible. The air between them was cold, Abel’s stiff stature slowly cracking away with every word that Arthur said. It was a battle that occurred between them often,  Arthur usually winning.

“Kip has been behaving nicely....” Abel muttered, reluctantly letting his shoulders relax. Giving out a breath, he gave into Arthur’s tactics. With a short cough, he let Arthur have his win, “I will buy a stalk.”

Looking up, smiling as if he wasn’t already gleaming, Arthur replied, “Perfect! I’ll add the price of the stalk to your total and you can be on your way.”

Abel grunted, aggressively grabbing the paper bag Arthur pushed his way. As he walked out, he could hear the shop owner telling him that he’ll see him later, and he just raised his hand in reaction. 

The smile never wavered even as Abel left his shop. There were a few customers that would make their trip to the counter once they were finished. Arthur’s attention, however, was on the trio of highschoolers that followed in after Abel left. “I don’t know how I failed that chemistry quiz, my grade’s totally down the shitter!” Alfred groaned loudly as he struggled to close his umbrella, it resisting no matter how hard he tried to pull it into place. “How the hell does Francis work this thing.” He yelped as the umbrella snapped down once he clicked the button. 

“It’s ‘cause you were staring at Ivan the whole study period yesterday, that hunk of a Russian keeps distracting you,” Matthias teased, walking to the sweets aisle. The other two boys followed, Alfred quickly grabbing a bottle of soda from the freezer.  

“Hey, Mattie told me to get some milk before I came home, I’ll be at the counter,” With a peace sign, Alfred departed from the trio. 

Gilbert scanned the shelves for his desired treat; a bag of  Haribo gummy bears. And although he looked up and down the shelves, his favorite candy wasn’t to be seen. “Hey store man!” He yelled, and Arthur piped up.

“Yes?” Arthur got up from his seat and walked towards the isle the voice was coming from. 

The German pointed to the empty hook which once held what he was looking for, “Do you have any gummy bears available?”

Arthur thought back to earlier today, where one girl bought the rest of his gummy bear stock. “Ah, I’m sorry about that. Earlier today a young lady came in and purchased my supply. We won’t be getting more until Friday I’m afraid.”

Gilbert stared at him for a moment, processing what the store owner said. “By any chance…” He mumbled, and Arthur almost couldn’t hear, “Was the girl wearing a flower pin with pink and orange carnations? And was she wearing one of these uniforms?” Gilbert tugged at his uniform with a blank expression.

“She did! Do you know her from school?” Arthur questioned, fighting a sickening smile that threatened to creep onto his cheeks. 

The boy’s blank expression turned to one of anger. Matthias started laughing at him from behind, and Gilbert turned around to tell him to shut up. “She’s our- uh- friend!” Matthias butt in, grabbing Gilbert’s shoulder with his empty hand. In the other, he held a bag of black licorice, one that Arthur recognized immediately. 

“Lovely, if you still want your bag of gummies, I might have a couple of those gummy roles made by the same company,” Hook, line, and sinker. 

The greyish haired male’s attention perked immediately, and Arthur couldn’t help the smile that approached his face. “I suppose that would do…” 

“Excellent!” Arthur waved his hand to symbolize that the boys needed to follow him to the counter. 

“Yo Mr. Kirkland! No red milk today?” Alfred asked as Arthur got closer to the counter. 

“Red milk?” Arthur had to think for a while about Alfred’s choice of words, “ Ah, whole milk. We ran out yesterday and your father could only find 2%,” Arthur gave the signature smile that he learned to give whenever childlike ignorance was at play. “I can check Alfred out first. If you boys want to buy anything else just let me know,” He slipped himself behind the counter and took the milk and soda from Alfred. 

“The weather’s getting pretty bad…” Matthias muttered, taking a glance towards his friends.

Gilbert sighed and looked out the window, “Ja, news says that the storm won’t let up until like three in the morning. Do you just wanna grab a bus or something??”

A loud crack suddenly made its way into everyone’s ears. Gilbert and Matthias’ eyes quickly darted towards Alfred, who was visibly sweating despite the cold weather. Alfred took a big gulp of air, and gripped the side of the counter tightly as he tried to steady himself; failing as his body slowly sunk closer to the ground. “You okay man?” Matthias grabbed his shoulders and tried to bring him up. 

Alfred looked at the ground sickly, attempting to steady his breath and contain the tears that threatened to leak out. “I-I’m uh-” his speech started to stutter, something Arthur never saw from the energetic American. His palm started to itch a little bit.  “I’m- I’m fine,” he assured. “I’m fine,” Alfred repeated again, almost as if he was trying to convince himself of the same thing. 

Arthur had to grab his wrist tightly so he wouldn’t begin to scratch his hand, “Are you sure? I can give you so-”

“I’ll call Toumas so he can give us a ride home safely. Is it okay if we wait here a little bit Mr. Kirkland?” Matthias asked, getting his phone out and putting the bag of licorice on the counter. “I’ll pay for Alfred’s stuff. Can you get him, Gil? I’ll buy your stuff too.” 

Gilbert nodded and grabbed Alfred, pulling him to the side despite the protests. “Of course, I have a couple customers still needing to pay though, so once you pay make your way into the back exit.”

Matthias nodded, and looked behind him, muttering a small apology to the people politely waiting for them to finish. “Thanks a lot, Mr. Kirkland. Alfred uh- doesn’t deal very well with storms.” 

Arthur nodded understandingly and separately bagged the three boy’s groceries. Matthias made his way towards his two friends, grabbing the bags and thanking Arthur profusely. Despite trying to grab Alfred’s shoulders again, he pushed both of them away, insisting he didn’t need to be helped. 

Bringing his phone closer to his ear, Arthur could make out tiny bits of conversation from the Dane’s side. “Hej Toumas! Can you give Gil and Al a ride home? We’re stuck in the storm at the corner store near the school…. No, not the grocery run by Mr. Wang, the one run by Lukas’ tutor…. Yeah, that one. Ten minutes? Alright, I’ll tell the guys, thanks Toumas!” 

The Dane clicked off his phone and gave a thumbs up to Arthur. He smiled back and centered his attention on the lady waiting at the counter. “My apologies for the long wait ma’am, those boys needed assistance.” 

The itch in Arthur’s palm didn’t go away until long after the trio left. 

[letterboxd]

How I Letterboxd #1: Lise

In this first instalment of a new feature, long-time member Lise, of Canada, answers our questions about how she uses Letterboxd, and why you should join her March Around the World challenge.

Hi Lise! How long have you been on Letterboxd? Lise: TV was still in black and white.

What do you mainly use Letterboxd for? Just a diary? Long reviews or shorter takes? Hilarious lists, or very f—king serious director rankings don’t @ me? I use the whole shebang: diary, reviews, ratings, watchlist, comments and lists, lots of lists. But mostly I use Letterboxd to keep track of when Jonathan is out to lunch (shameless plug for my He Says She Says list).

Do you rate films? Absolutely. I rely on ratings to add stuff to my watchlist, and I rate to let others know if I liked the film. I don’t read reviews for films I haven’t seen, so without user ratings I’d be snookered.

Tell us about your March Around The World challenge, in which Letterboxd members sign up to watch and review 30 films from 30 different countries during the month of March. How did it come about, and what’s involved? I took over the challenge from Berken, who created it and hosted it for the first year. I thought it was a brilliant way to explore the world on the cheap. The review component is important because it expands Letterboxd’s database, especially for under-seen films. It’s been a great success. Many participants like to create lists, and if they can’t watch them all in March they go at it for the rest of the year, which is great. The most important rule about the challenge is to forget the rules and watch international films during the month.

Still from Djibril Diop Mambéty’s ‘Touki Bouki’ (1973).

What are some of the interesting statistics you’ve noticed from your Marches Around the World? I consolidated all of the spreadsheets I’ve created for each challenge, and there were some surprises. The most viewed film is Touki-Bouki from Senegal (average rating of 3.7). Less surprising is that our most-viewed director is Ingmar Bergman (although I was happy to see Aki Kaurismäki from Finland in second place). The most-viewed countries are France, Japan and South Korea. Another surprise, the best decade is the 1920s (with the 1950s in a close second).

How has March Around the World enhanced your life? I’m not the sentimental type but when we get a new participant in the challenge I get the warm and fuzzies. If the genie were out of the bottle I would request that all overcome the ‘one-inch barrier’ (subtitles). Watching films ‘from away’, as our East Coasters would say, is one of the simplest ways to combat fears and/or prejudices about other peoples/nations/ways of life that we often don’t realize we have. Every time we identify or root for someone who is ‘other’ it chips away at the walls, and as Maya Angelou has said so eloquently, we discover that “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike”.

What are the responsibilities involved in hosting a Letterboxd challenge? It doesn’t have to be complicated. A challenge can be as simple as “watch ten films from your watchlist this month”. It’s all about tags. Define a tag, have people add it to their films and their lists, and then you can easily search for and filter those tags. Easy peasy. Mine is a bit more challenging because it has so many requirements, but thanks to some fantastic Letterboxders who volunteer to help with my spreadsheet (you know who you are), it all gets done in a timely manner.

How do you find the time to watch all those films in a single month?! Jonathan and I have never completed the challenge! Our best year was around 26. That year we got up earlier in the morning and watched the films with coffee, before going to work. That was the best. Nice and fresh and open to anything. Bonus is that we got to think about the film all day and the review-writing in the evening was easier. If it were up to me that’s the way I would watch films all the time.

What other challenges have you taken part in, and how have they enhanced your experience of watching films? Back in the day everyone was making a list tagged with List of Shame that you filled with all those “You seriously haven’t seen that yet?!” films. I’m still chipping away at it, but of course for every film you watch there are ten more you have to see. To help with the List of Shame I participated in Mr Dulac’s 5×5 series, where you selected five films from five directors and watched them at your leisure. It was a great way to complete filmographies. I still go to that list when selecting a film to watch.

Wong Kar-Wai’s ‘In The Mood for Love’ (2000).

What are your four favorites on your Letterboxd profile, and why? In the Mood for Love, because forbidden love is the saddest thing ever, and I could watch Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung go up and down those noodle-shop stairs all day long. The Thin Red Line, because it provides a great sense of place and it’s about the soldiers, not the war. Whispering Star because it is so quiet and touching.

I keep my fourth slot open for a rotating new favorite film that I want everyone to see. I could change these for a different set, but, oh, who am I kidding. I always feel terrible at the thought of ‘demoting’ a film.

What is your favorite or most useful feature? The watchlist, filtered by service. It is my dream-come-true feature. I sort by genre, hide short films, select ‘Stream only’ and ta-da! A list of films I’ve been meaning to see that are available to stream. (Now if only I could do the same for films that I own!) [Editor’s note: filtering by your own personal set of streaming services is a Pro feature.]

What’s a movie you’ve done a 180 on because of other Letterboxd members’ opinions? Great question. Memories of Murder is one of them for sure. I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was when I first saw it, but so many of my friends gave it five stars that I watched it again and understood. And just this week, Moaning_Slug posted an interesting comment on my review of Buñuel’s Viridiana that actually makes me want to take another look.

What’s a movie you’ve really had to dig in on your feelings about, despite what everyone else on Letterboxd thinks? I am not easily bothered by or influenced by others when it comes to the films I love or despise. I seriously disliked Her and Boyhood and pretty much anything by Wes Anderson and all the high ratings have zero effect on me. The technical prowess of a film would never be something that could change my mind (here’s looking at you John Wick: Chapter 2 and 3). What would make me take a second look is if someone were able to point out that I missed something about what the film was saying. I’ve yet to review Jojo Rabbit because while I think poking fun at someone who aspires to dictatorship might actually prevent it from happening, I don’t know what to make of it when it’s making light of a historical or current [aspiring dictator]. Reading reviews about this could definitely influence my take on the film.

Colin Firth in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ (1995).

What’s your go-to comfort movie? The one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, the one with Chris Pratt and the talking ‘rat’, and the one with Tony Leung as badge No. 663 starring the Mamas and the Papas.

If and when you go to the cinema, where do you prefer to sit? Behind the shortest person in the room, near the back (I hate looking up—it’s a neck thing).

You’re Canadian. What’s the best Canadian film of all time? South of Wawa, about a donut-shop waitress who receives tickets to a Dan Hill concert in Toronto for her 35th birthday. Okay, so it’s not the “greatest film of all time” but it is my favorite, and it’s got the best last line ever!

These are the Canadian films I’ve seen in order of preference, this is a substantial list of Quebec films and [Letterboxd member] puffin has an extensive Canadian films list (stops at 2018). And I must mention these NFB short classics: The Cat Came Back, The Sweater and one of the most beautifully animated shorts, The Man Who Planted Trees.

When Parasite won Best Picture, what was the reaction in your household? We tested the bounce on our floor boards at Best Director. We tested the bounce on the ceiling boards at Best Picture.

Please recommend three other Letterboxd members we should follow. I can’t count, so here goes. I think everyone should follow Punq for the sheer number of films he watches and reviews, but mostly because I don’t think there is a film made before the 60s that he hasn’t seen. Graham Williamson is a good bet as well. His tastes are eclectic and his reviews are always packed with good observations and information. And I also have to recommend fellow Canuck puffin. I don’t know how he manages to watch so many films and review them. I always enjoy reading Melissa Tamminga, who asks questions and is very thoughtful in her reviews, and I have a soft spot for Peter H, who again personalizes his reviews. Nepotism be damned, Jonathan White always writes honest, interesting and personal reviews.

You also round up Letterboxd members who attend TIFF each year—what’s been a good thing about meeting Letterboxd people in real life? It’s great! Without naming names, I discovered that I could drink a 6'2" Norwegian under the table; a particular New Yorker is so stingy with his ratings that when he gives anything beyond three and a half stars you just have to watch the film; and a New Zealander personally knows anyone who is anyone in the industry over there and can give you all the dirt! Whenever we consider not doing TIFF we are always reminded that it would involve missing our Wednesday meet-up (as well as most other nights where we undoubtedly meet up for beer and film-related arguments), and we easily change our minds.

P.S. In the spirit of connecting Letterboxders… before the TIFF list I thought it would be good idea to create a ‘Letterboxd in [insert City]’ list, Toronto being the first one. It took off, and many users from different parts of the world created lists for their cities; the tag is letterboxdcity.

The March Around the World challenge starts 1 March 2020. Tag your list with ‘30 countries 2020’ and it’ll be added here.

[berlinaura]

Man it has been an eventful week. After settling down to my room and unpacking my things I listed down everything I need and went for a long shopping day on Wednesday. I bought for example a plastic container for leftover food (our fridge is ridiculously small!), hangers, extra set of bed sheet and food.  At first I thought I would have to dry my laundry in hangers but then I realized that we have plenty of equipment from laundry racks to cleaning supplies that I had nothing to worry about. I already washed my first batch of clothing successfully even though I had no idea what each of the 9 programs of our washing machine do.

Thursday 3rd of October was the national holiday of Germany, der Tag der Deutschen Einheit. A celebration of the German reunification. My buddy invited me to go to the celebration in Brandenburger Tor so we went. We enjoyed the market and live music and went for a long walk in the area of Reichstag building and Hauptbahnhof. We thought (falsely) that the only place where we could get snacks for a movie that would be open would be the main train station. Then we walked to Sony Center in Potsdamer Platz and watched two movies in a row. At first I thought it would be absolute madness but then I realized how genius it is! Gemini man would get a 3/5 from me and IT part II 4/5.

On Friday my roommate asked me if I wanted to come to a museum with her and her new friend. Of course I’d go! We visited Neues Museum at the museum island. We observed some bath tub looking sarcophagi and saw Nefertiti herself.

I wasn’t supposed to do anything outrageous on Friday because I had been feeling a bit ill and wanted to have a rest before the upcoming orientation week. After the museum visit my roommate threw a pre-drink gathering at our apartment and I had a moment of weakness so I joined and went clubbing with them. I am glad though because the evening was fun!

In my opinion the club was no different from the clubs I’ve been to in Finland. As I heard someone say earlier, the erasmus parties aren’t probably the best Berlin club parties there are. For my first party in Berlin it was good enough though. And I am a bigger fan of the pre-parties and casual pub evenings anyways.

On Saturday I woke up feeling okay and wondered about it for a moment. Then I stood up and realized I was still drunk. I used this energy to clean up the kitchen because flies around stacked beer pong cups aren’t a pretty sight after a night out. On the late afternoon I went thrift shopping to Humanas and found a cute skirt I can wear the next time when going out. I felt like I didn’t really pack any clubbing clothes so I had a mini crisis on Friday and ended up going in just jeans and a T-shirt.

Sunday was my chill day. (As if everything before it was such a hard work!) I binged Shameless UK on Netflix for a couple of hours until me and my roommate went to get a drink at Boxhagenerplatz. The place was full of cozy bars and I thought I’d definitely be going there again! I had probably the best gin & tonic I’ve ever had in my life. 

Monday was my last day before orientation week. I was hanging out in Alexanderplatz, getting some final school supplies and I thought��“maybe some erasmus students would like to meet today” so I sent an invitation to our facebook group. Luckily a shit ton of people were interested! People wanted to meet quite late but luckily I got a Swedish and a French girl to meet up with me beforehand. I was asked if I know any cool bars in Berlin and all I could come up with was the place I was the day before so we met at Boxhagenerplatz “:D” but it was good and the bars were great! 

Later we met with the whole group in a bar called The Castle and it, once again, is a bar worth going back to. The bartender was super nice as well as the atmosphere. We talked and enjoyed drinks for several hours until I had to do the adult thing and go home to get some rest for the first day of orientation week. 

 Navigating through the campus was less stressful when you already knew some people. The room of the information session was so retro. Some parts of the campus seem so modern and beautiful. There’s this one place that looks like a museum because it is so aesthetically pleasing. Then there are these run-down hallways and classrooms that look like they’re from the 70′s. Nevertheless the info session was somewhat useful as was the campus tour afterwards. 

TUB makes some administrative matters a bit too complicated and they know it! For example, when I want to search through the courses, I go to the course catalog (Vorlesungsverzeichnis, available only in German) to see the name of the course and the timetable. When I want to know what the course is about, what are the prerequisites and how many credits it is worth, I go to MOSES. Then there’s a different place for the material, possible course sign up, exam sign up etc. This all makes me appreciate the compact student portal we have in Finland. 

Another thing that makes me go WTF is that most of the courses don’t require a sign up! We just go to the first meeting, greet the teacher and announce that we are there to learn. We don’t even sign up for exams because we “don’t exist in the system”. 

I also knew that Germans like to use cash but I wasn’t prepared for this!! We need to pay at school cafeterias with a Mensa card but the machines that allow us to load money to the card only accept cash money (and not even coins). Many bars only accept cash and the ones that proudly advertise they accept card payments have a 5-10€ minimum limit for the purchase. This is something that I’ll probably get used to and I hope that a proper wallet makes my life easier. I should have thought about that before coming here.

Because of the program for the orientation week was sold out in such a short time, I could only get tickets for two events: visit at Urban nation museum and a walking tour in Kreuzberg. Many didn’t even get that so I am lucky. To compensate the lack of official events, we decided to go bowling with a group of people I got to know on Monday. Turns out Alexanderplatz is a pretty popular place to go bowling even on Tuesday evening so we didn’t got in the first place. Luckily the second one was just a 10 minute walk away and we had a nice game there. Afterwards we went for a drinks in Hackescher Markt and I ordered my first lager! 

The evening was successfull but unfortunately I also got to see two rats! I was told to get brave and set a goal to get rid of my rat fear by the end of my erasmus year but I’m not sure if I can do it. After seeing the rats I do feel a bit less nauseated by mice though so maybe it will be possible to get over my rat fear as well.

Today we went to listen to another info session at campus. This one was about courses, the sign ups and all that. Everybody is just as confused by the lack of an official sign up - why can’t TUB just come to this century and open an online sign up for courses!! After the info session I decided to go for a walk so I decided to go to Märkisches Viertel in Norhern Berlin. I wanted to see the place after hearing Sido’s “Mein Block” and also just get a walk because the sun was shining and for once I had no rush to anywhere. Judging by my short visit, Märkisches Viertel is like the Hervanta of Berlin. 

Of course as soon as I was on the border of Berlin so pretty much as far as I can get from the city centre, some people at the erasmus group wanted to meet in the centre with a short warning. I decided to skip it all and headed home for a nap after which I finally sorted out my courses. My timetable is currently very full but I don’t want to have the risk of failing a course and then not getting enough credits. I want to a have the possibility to drop a course if it feels too difficult. 

I am looking forward the rest of the week! Tomorrow I’ll go to the campus again because there’s some sort of fun (?) meeting planned with the buddies and exchange students of TUB. In the evening I’ll go to the movies again to see Joker! On Friday there’s the museum visit and an international erasmus party at the same club as last week. This time there will be people from TUB so I am excited to go again. On Saturday late afternoon (important and calculated factor!) there’s the walking tour in Kreuzberg. I haven’t been to that area so much so it’s nice to check it out. And then for Sunday I plan to go to see the Reichstags dome from the inside and maybe do something with the roommates. 

# livin the dream

[mcrmadness]

7, 13 & 19, bitte. Of course English is alright :)

Wow more questions, thanks! :)

7: Lieblings-Bandmitglied?- Hmm. This is again gonna be long answer so I think I’m gonna say a bit of all three: Usually my fave DÄ songs are from Farin so musically it’s him. I like his voice the most. And obviously can’t say much about their personalities as I don’t think anyone of us can really know what they are like behind the scenes, but from what I have been able to gather about Farin from numerous texts and videos (like, their books etc.), I feel like his personality is a lot like mine, but sometimes I feel like maybe even too similar so I don’t know how well I could get along with someone like that :D But then I feel like I would get along best with Bela, I have some interests that I have in common with him, for example movies and comics; and when I became a fan, I was a really embarrassing Bela-fangirl for some time XD Thank gods (BFR?) I got over that phase eventually, and I’m glad I kept that fangirling only to myself too. (And well, know Tumblr knows about this too……. Anyway, I blame the fact I was eating antidepressants back then and they made me biiiit too “normal” and too open. I became myself again when I stopped eating them 6 years ago :D)Can’t leave Rod out either, I don’t know much about him, he’s kinda mystery for me. But I haven’t really even read about him, and he doesn’t talk much during interviews. But I (also) think he’s genius and I like his songs a lot, and tbh, I like Bela’s songs more when he has made them with Rod. My absolute favorite from Seitenhirsch/Outtakes is Bang Bang. I normally don’t go speechless because of songs, but that one was just so mindblowing I was just sitting here trying to comprehend, what the hell I am hearing, because that song is GENIUS :DSo basically I’d say Bela is my favorite, but I don’t really want to say just one because as you can see, they all have different “features” I find important in each.

13: Hast du Bandmerch?So far I only have all studio albums and compilations, a few singles and EP’s, few vinyl records, all dvds, Farin’s and Bela’s solo cds, and I was able to find King Kong cd even tho I haven’t even listened to King Kong yet :DDD Oh but I do also have both of their biography books! And one official poster, but it’s not on the wall yet cos I want it framed and official frames cost too much for a poor… not even a student anymore, just unemployed person, like me. It’s quite hard to get merch as nothing is sold in Finland (except I found couple of albums from online second-hand shop and I still don’t understand WHO brought those to Finland! This year I found Das ist nicht die ganze Wahrheit… on vinyl!!!), so I have to order stuff from online and I bought everything from EMP until they stopped selling them. Now there’s stuff again, but I mainly have everything from there, and atm the shirts available there or in DÄ’s own shop don’t really please me that much. I would like to have a shirt which would state the band’s name properly without cryptic ä or ? as in Finland no on would understand what that mean.

19: Wie stehen deine Freunde zu DÄ?What friends? :D No but… I think this is asking what they think about DÄ, so forgive me if I understood this question incorrectly: I do talk about DÄ occassionally, but not really that much as people I know don’t really find them interesting. My dad and my both siblings like them, tho. And with everyone else I have completely different taste in music. I have showed videos to people online too, but they don’t usually get them. That’s why I used to befriend German or foreing DÄ-fans over internet, cos that has been the only way to talk to people who like them or are fans. I am sometimes quite lonely with this tho, because I just don’t seem to get people like them that much and also atm there’s I don’t even have online friends who would be as huge fans as me. And it’s still not the same to like something together with your siblings as it is to like something together with people who are not your blood-relatives… but I’m glad I at least can talk about them with some people, and it’s also always fun to talk about DÄ with my dad.

[juniorformulamotorsport]

Monday, 17th September 2018 – Day 1, Kiev

Finding myself in Kiev for a 2-workshop and meeting session with the rest of the 12-strong team I am part of, the London contingent (two of us) were on the ground and in our hotel about 3 hours ahead of everyone else, so with the dispensation of our lovely manager, we didn’t have anything to do until the others showed up. With that in mind, and arriving on a gloriously sunny afternoon, I persuaded my colleague that we really, really needed to go out and do some sightseeing. It was too good an opportunity to waste. Based in the Park Inn hotel, right next to the Olympic stadium which is now home to Dynamo Kiev, we were well situated to walk to the main attractions of the city centre.

Armed with the Lonely Planet guidebook to Ukraine, and a free Kiev map from reception, I now knew where we should aim for, and so cameras in hand, we walked up towards Taras Shevchenko Park initially, along Velyka Vasylkivska Street and over to Lva Tolstoho Street, admiring the variety of architectural styles which ranged from Stalinist flats to turn of the 19th/20th Century blocks with fabulous decorative features, some of them more “foreign” looking than others.

We also encountered the first of many, many terraces which seem to be attached to every restaurant no matter how basic or how grand. Later some of us would come to think these might not be such a good idea, for a variety of reasons, not least the prevalence of both cigarette smokers, and for that matter, shisha pipe users, mostly young women, who seemed not to care how far and wide the awful perfumed fumes spread from the damn things!

We also found the first of many, many murals, usually beautifully done, and covering the entire end walls of numerous buildings around the city. These apparently sprang up everywhere after the 2014 revolution and the plan is to have at least 200 of these instances of street art. There’s even a map of all of them.

This was also roughly the time we realised that crossing the road can be something of an adventure in Kiev. The traffic is heavy, and despite the crossing lights counting down how long you have to cross, and making it very clear that you are allowed to cross, car drivers still try and come round the corners and carry on regardless. You have to adopt a very determined demeanour and trust you’ll survive! Fortunately for the viability of the local population the really big road junctions have underpasses, complete with doors which I assume are especially necessary in the winter to stop the tunnels filling up with snow. The result is a number of underground spaces, full of ad hoc shops, selling all sorts of stuff you never wanted, or in fact never knew existed.

We survived the crossing to the park, and found quite a few things to amuse us. Temperatures were in the high 20s, so pretty much anyone with nothing better to do was perched on the benches in the cool shade of the trees. And the thing is, the benches themselves came in all manner of shapes that can only be described as playful, with no one bench the same as its neighbour. There were fountains, and flowerbeds full of marigolds, and statues of course, including this rather splendid – if rather gloomy – one of Mr. Shevchenko, the multi-talented national poet himself (which probably beats Austrian nymphs on plinths into a cocked hat).

It’s a very busy place, with all sorts going on, and with cafes and coffee shops and pretty much the entire student body of the university across the road sitting talking, dancing, playing music and generally living life outside. Even late in the evening it remained busy (as we discovered later in the week). We continued up Volodymyrska Street, passing the rather fabulous Taras Shevchenko Ukrainian National Opera House on the way.

The Golden Gates of Kyiv (Золоті ворота) were the main gates of the 11th century fortifications of Kyiv, the capital of Kievan Rus’, and were built between 1017 and 1024 (6545 in the Byzantine calendar) at the same time as The Cathedral of Saint Sophia, which was where I was keen to get us, was built. The whole thing was demolished in the middle ages, and was completely rebuilt by the Soviets in 1982, presumably entirely from their imaginations, because there are no images of the original gates available. The whole rebuilding was extremely controversial, and I did wonder why people were visiting it apart from out of curiosity. Hopefully, they don’t think they’re seeing an historical structure.

It was shortly after this that things started to get weird. Across the square from the gates we found this.

It’s part of the same initiative as the murals. It’s all part of the “ArtUnitedUs” iniative, which is the biggest urban street art project in the world. The hedgehog is a monument to a cartoon, “Hedgehog in Fog”, which was produced in 1975, and it’s the work of the Kyiv Landscape Initiative. The claim is that in 2003 a survey of 140 cinema critics and animators declared it the best cartoon in the history of animation. How true this is, I have no idea, but it seems reasonable. And it certainly wasn’t the only odd art work we encountered. There was a cat made out of white plastic forks (by Constantin Skretutsky)…

And also, in the grounds of Saint Sophia’s cathedral, a squishy piece of work (by Beata Korn) that has a sign asking visitors not to cuddle it. You can see why because it’s oddly irresistible. This is part of the art-project “3D.Public Art” and if you can read Ukrainian, then you’ll know a lot more about it than I do!

We had enough time to investigate the cathedral, but not the rest of the “territory”, so handing over a very small sum of money, we went in. I wasn’t allowed to take photos, which was a shame, but understandable. To give you a taste, I’ve found this on the Wikipedia page for the cathedral.

The building work started somewhere around 1011, and it was founded by the Grand Prince of Kievan Rus’, Vladimir the Great, and building has 5 naves, 5 apses, and 13 cupolas, which is not normal for Byzantine churches. it has two levels of balconies on three sides and it’s full of the most stunning 11th century mosaics and frescoes. I can only imagine what it must have looked like when the mosaics were new, with gold everywhere, and paintings on pretty much every surface. The Kievan rulers were buried here, and the grave of Yaroslav I the Wise is still there.

It has suffered substantial damage more than once, and the hands of Andrei Bogolyubsky of Vladimir-Suzdal in 1169, then the Mongolian Tatars in 1240. By the time that Poland and Ukraine were trying to unite the Catholic and orthodox churches it had pretty much fallen into ruin. Repair work was finally undertaken in 1633 by the Italian architect Octaviano Mancini in what is known as Ukrainian Baroque, at least on the outside, while still preserving the interior art.

Its fate was in the balance again in the 1920s, when the Soviet government wanted to destroy the building (a fate that did befall St. Michael’s Golden-Domed Monastery on the other side of the massive square from Saint Sophia’s). It ended up being re-classified as an architectural and historical museum, a function that it still fulfills now. In a side area there is currently a display of some of the art that was saved from Saint Michael’s prior to its demolition. There was also an interesting work made out of thousands of Ukrainian pysanky eggs, highly decorated Easter eggs. The work, a depiction of the Virgin Mary in the cathedral, is by Oksana Mas, and is made out of something in the region of 15,000 eggs, all different. It’s really impressive, and it takes the eye a moment or two to realise that it is actually made of individually painted eggs.

Back outside we admired the bell tower, which, like those we saw in Finland, stands separate from the main body of the church. It’s beautiful, and apparently affords some fine views over Kiev. We didn’t think we had time, though. I took a few photographs, and bought a guidebook before we left to head back to the hotel to meet up with our colleagues.

The park was still buzzing, and the roads were as lethal as ever. I did spot another of the rather fine murals as we were walking along, and if/when we get back (there’s a suggestion of a repeat visit in Spring) I want to see how many of the 200 works I can find.

We were back at the hotel by 18:00, after a couple of hours of nosing around, and I know my impression of the city was pretty positive already, though I was slightly startled by the presence of a bagpiper outside the Metro station opposite the hotel. It wasn’t that he was playing an instrument most people assume to be Scottish, because I know enough to know that it’s a very common instrument worldwide (after all, it’s really just a bag with hollow pipes), it’s just that I’ve tended to regard the playing of bagpipes as an act of war! The Ukrainian version is called a volynka, and originates in the Carpathians.

It remained to be seen what else we might find, as we were due to be taken on a short tour by our Ukrainian colleagues at 18:30. Sadly, the Danes had fallen victim to a taxi driver who had misunderstood his instructions, and they were now on a misguided tour of the city as he tried to find his way through the rush hour gridlock back to the Park Inn from the Holiday Inn. By the time they finally made it in the door, it was dark outside, and the place we were headed for was close to closing. At least the two of us had seen something of the city.

Travel 2018 – Day 1, Kiev Monday, 17th September 2018 - Day 1, Kiev Finding myself in Kiev for a 2-workshop and meeting session with the rest of the 12-strong team I am part of, the London contingent (two of us) were on the ground and in our hotel about 3 hours ahead of everyone else, so with the dispensation of our lovely manager, we didn't have anything to do until the others showed up.

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

[perfectirishgifts]

The Best Things I Ate - And Watched - In 2020, Pandemic Edition

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The Best Things I Ate - And Watched - In 2020, Pandemic Edition

Go Ice Cream’s chocolate sorbet was one of my favorite dishes this year.

Normally, at this time of year, I’d be making a trip to Chicago to see the city’s Christmas tree, or taking the train to Toronto for some shopping and dining.

This year, I’m not going anywhere — just like much of 2020. Leaving Michigan has been off limits for me since the pandemic began, and that’s affected my ability to list my favorite dishes of 2020.

But, I’ve discovered some treats, thanks to a little indoor dining and a lot of carry out. And I’ve also gotten to watch some enthralling and comforting food television. Here is my list.

Favorite Dishes

Go Ice Cream Chocolate Sorbet. In February, my friend Margaret Petersen and I set out to find the best local plant-based ice creams for my story in the Ann Arbor Observer.

The tour followed a story I wrote last year for FORBES that featured Brooklyn’s Van Leeuwen ice cream, which actually offers more plant-based flavors than dairy ones.

We found one of the best at Go Ice Cream, a small but growing business in Ypsilanti, Mich., Rob Hess’ chocolate sorbet is creamy, chocolatey and sweet, but doesn’t have a drop of dairy.

You can find it at markets in the Ann Arbor area, or by ordering ahead and picking it up at Hess’ window in a downtown Ypsilanti alley.

A variety of Sweetwater’s donuts.

Sweetwater’s Donut Mill Boston Cream Pie Donut. In August, I made one of the longest trips I took all year to Battle Creek, Mich, about 85 miles away.

I was picking up the six free donuts that Sweetwater’s Donut Mill gives you on your birthday, with the purchase of another six.

The Boston Cream Pie donut is worth the drive. The donut is deliciously yeasty, the cream filling is like the creme patisserie you see on The Great British Bake Off, and the chocolate icing is lick—it-off-the-top worthy.

If that’s not your style, you can choose from 54 other flavors.

KPOP Foods Honey Glaze sauce. Earlier this year, flavorist Donna Wamsley predicted that Korean flavors were about to head into the mainstream.

That prompted Theo Lee, the co-founder of KPOP Foods, to offer some me samples of his Korean-inspired sauces.

Three of them are based on gochujang, the traditional Korean chili paste that’s a popular ingredient and condiment. The Honey Glaze sauce is dynamite, to quote BTS.

It’s sweet and hot, and I’ve used it on everything from roast cauliflower to rice and salmon. It would be great on a burger, and of course, on barbecue, whether Korean or American.

Zingerman’s Roadhouse Chicken and Waffles. On March 15, I ate my last meal to date at the front counter of Zingerman’s Roadhouse, the sit-down sibling of Zingerman’s Deli, that serves classic American dishes.

Cases of COVID-19 were climbing, and we all figured Michigan would join Ohio and other states in issuing a stay at home order. I wanted one last meal at the counter, where I ate almost every week.

The fried chicken was crisp on the outside, juicy on the inside, and the waffle was both crispy and tender. I waved to the kitchen staff, and took selfies of them and the food. Sure enough, the state shut things down the next day.

I’ve eaten Roadhouse food since, but mainly from carry out boxes. The counter where I liked to sit has remained closed. But I fondly remember that last meal in normal times.

Brisket tacos from Ricewood BBQ.

Ricewood brisket tacos. Before the pandemic, I had discovered Ricewood BBQ in Ann Arbor, which operates out of a window inside York, a gourmet store and cafe. Ricewood has been winning awards for its rice bowls, topped with barbecue meats, Asian sauces and condiments.

As a special, Ricewood offers brisket tacos on Thursday. They’re nice and flavorful, and you can get side dishes like sesame cucumbers, kimchi and red cabbage slaw.

Since it’s all take out, you can use York’s outdoor seating, or look for a nice spot around Ann Arbor to enjoy your food. I often found a picnic table at a nearby park.

Favorite Food Shows

Phil Rosenthal has a loyal band of fans.

Somebody Feed Phil, Season 4. Phil Rosenthal lives a charmed life. He was the executive producer of Everybody Loves Raymond, which maintains a loyal following 15 years after it went off the air (it lives on in continuous reruns).

Several years ago, he launched a series on PBS called I’ll Have What Phil’s Having. To put it gently, the concept was good, but the show needed some work.

There were an awful lot of corny jokes, and many critics wondered why Rosenthal got a food show when he’s not a chef or a cookbook writer.

However, he clearly loves dining and travel. Over the years, he’s eliminated some of the eye-rolling jokes and focuses on the people, places and dishes that he profiles.

As a result, he’s brought attention to locations and local purveyors, whose business has been boosted by his loyal band of fans.

I’ll forever be grateful to Rosenthal for this season’s episode in the Mississippi Delta which features the late Julia Reed. Her death this summer saddened so many of her friends and admirers, who deeply miss her witty writing about the South.

This series also takes viewers to Singapore and to Seoul, where another one of my favorite shows this year is set.

Hello! First Time In Korea, Finland. My friend Luke Song, the noted milliner, was born in South Korea and avidly keeps up on shows from his birthplace. During the pandemic, he’s sent me links to shows he thinks I might enjoy.

One is a series called Hello! First Time In Korea. It’s a pretty simple premise: a foreigner living in Korea invites three friends from their home country to visit. A camera crew follows them around Seoul and to spots around the country, as they sample Korean culture.

Episodes of the show can be found on YouTube, with English subtitles. Hands down, the most popular visit was by three young men from Finland, who came to see their friend Petri, an entrepreneur and official at the Finnish embassy.

The trio – Vili, Vilppi and Sami — enchanted Korean viewers with their love of the country, especially its food.

The program is a master class in all manner of Korean cuisine, from chicken and beer to live octopus and the sprawling variety of Korean table d’hote.

The Finns were such a hit that they were invited back to film a second series, and all the episodes have significant food elements.

You can find clips of just the eating sequences, but you shouldn’t miss the charm of the friends exploring South Korea.

You’ll see Korean beaches, national parks, museums, saunas, and a memorable baseball game.

Terrific drinking manual, plus regular social appearances.

Drinks with David Lebovitz. In 2020, cookbook author David Lebovitz published Drinking French, a lovely handbook to all kinds of French beverages, including cocktails, hot chocolate and aperitifs.

With his book tour scrapped by the pandemic, Lebovitz became one of the many writers and chefs who offer Instagram Live presentations. His have featured his drinks, food, his hilarious partner Romain, and various culinary guests.

Follow him on Instagram or Facebook to find out when he’ll be offering his next video.

Flavprful Origins looks at foods in China.

Street Food Latin America and Flavorful Origins. Both these programs are available on Netflix NFLX , and they’re culinary educations in places that aren’t often seen in food documentaries.

Street Food Latin America is the successor to Street Food Asia, and depicts a number of chefs, cooks and vendors across South and Central America. Many of those featured are women, and many have plied their trades for decades.

One takeaway is just how hard these cooks and vendors work to produce their authentic dishes.

Flavorful Origins is a series of vignettes on dishes in different regions of China, easily binge-able. In Series Three, the filmmakers visit the sprawling Gansu province in Northwest China.

You will see everything from hand-pulled noodles to mutton, lily plants to buckwheat, and up close views of all the steps that are required.

Hopefully, by this time next year, we’ll be able to travel to China, or Paris, or Seoul, and taste all these dishes for ourselves.

From Food & Drink in Perfectirishgifts