#these were some really interesting questions
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clini-calia · 12 hours ago
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It's tough. It is.
I'm a 30-year-old transgender man. From ages 16 to 23-ish, I was stuck in the alt-right pipeline, as well. I watched all that stupid bullshit with "feminists getting owned!!!1!" and what the fuck ever else. I think what pushed me towards it was how people on Tumblr used to be upset over EVERYTHING and would belittle me for my masculinity. I remember seeing a post that had a gif of a scene from some anime, I dunno which one, and it was of a naked girl laying down. People were complaining about her breasts not being realistic - it wasn't the size, it was that they weren't sagging or drooping, and that men need to be portrayed with rock hard dicks that never soften or whatever. But I was just sitting there thinking, "She's laying down... lol. Gravity is literally pushing her breasts against her chest, not pulling them down."
Anyway. Posts like that, but they got worse. I've had a lot of people on the left question my gender. "Why would you want to be a man? Women are the better choice." "I don't know why you'd want to do that, why give up your femininity?" I got into a small argument with a woman once on it, basically saying that it felt like trans men weren't really counted much and were largely ignored in the trans community, along with non binary people, who are usually just treated as "Women Lite." She got so angry that she told me, "You probably just wanna be a guy because you're too ugly to get one for yourself."
That's what tipped me over to the right for a bit. Until I realized they cared even less about me and that if given the chance, well. What happened on November 5th would happen, and they'd look for any excuse to strip me of my rights.
For cis, straight, white men it's not so easy to get out of. They're welcomed with open arms, there's no looming threat of having their rights taken away. So the pull of some "brotherhood" is more enticing. I was groomed and sexually assaulted by a man, but I was also sexually assaulted and groomed by a woman. I'll always believe that, no matter what, humans are just humans. White, black, gay, straight, trans, cis, man, woman - humans. And humans can be good, and they can also fucking suck. So I'll never say "all men are trash" or "all women are garbage" or anything like it ever again.
I see men's issues with mental health. I wish they would understand that it's the patriarchy that ultimately fuels those issues, and I wish some women would see how they also contribute to it. I see a lot of younger women these days placing men's entire values on their income, their careers, their appearances, what they can buy for them... I've seen a tweet of dudes just chilling and playing video games, showing off Pokemon cards or some shit and a woman quote retweeted it and said, "Men used to fight in wars. 🙄" Yeah. That'll stop toxic masculinity - tell men they're not real men unless they go to war and give up what makes them happy. Nice...
The patriarchy hurts women by enforcing the idea that they are to submit to men's wishes, stay at home, clean, cook, have babies. That's all women are allowed to experience.
The patriarchy hurts men by enforcing the idea that they are to overwork themselves, abandon any non traditional masculine interests and basic human emotions in favor of that work, and go to fight and possibly die in wars.
These ideals were put into place as soon as different tribes, races, countries and so on realized that, "Oh. There's OTHER types of people, and I want to be the most powerful and rich so they don't take what I have. Hmm. Better make sure women can only spit out plenty of babies and that plenty of those babies are men to be my soldiers and workforce."
If you're a man that supports any of those ideas, fuck you. If you're a woman that supports any of those ideas, fuck you, too. I'm sick and tired of generalizing people. I'm sick and tired of having to give up pieces of ourselves in order to put more money in billionaire's pockets. I'm sick and tired of men being told they're "too feminine" to be a man over being into stuff like sewing, baking, dolls, fashion, cozy games and I'm tired of seeing women being told they're "too masculine" to be a woman for being into coding, mechanical work, FPS games, science and I'm tired of seeing non binary people being told they're too much of one or the other to be non binary.
I'm tired of seeing men put down other men for having a fucking emotion other than anger or goddamn numbness. I'm tired of seeing women put down other women for being more attractive or not attractive enough. Just... stupid, petty bullshit that should have been over and done with decades ago, why the fuck are we STILL here?
It's tough. Because I love men and care deeply about men. But I also don't think we need to baby them and pat them on the back and say, "It's OK that you joined a fascist group of people that openly and proudly call themselves Nazis." And if a man ever tells me or any woman or AFAB person that it's "your body, my choice," I will grab the nearest blunt object I can get my hands on and beat the snot, shit, and blood out of them.
But I do think we need to work harder at not alienating our CIS, straight, white, male allies. We need to stop generalizing everybody and correct our language when talking about people. And we especially need to make it clear that the alt-right only seeks to divide for their own benefit, not for anyone else's. It's money and power that they want. Men, unless you are wealthy, you are just a vote and a pawn to them, nothing else. We need Democrats in the USA to stop rolling over and blowing kisses to Republicans in the hopes that they'll play nice and cut us some slack. It's not going to happen, not in meaningful numbers. And we NEED to crack down harder on alt-right online spaces. I don't give a fuck no more, get rid of that shit, I don't care if it's seen as too extreme or censorship, if you give these dangerous people a place to commune and feel safe with their harmful ideologies, then it WILL spill over into other spaces. And parents of young children: you need to BE BETTER at monitoring what your kids are seeing and doing online. Take it from someone who no-lifes online games: they are going into these spaces and saying heinous, horrible shit. They are being groomed, they are saying slurs and sexually harassing women, they are even seeking sexual attention and guidance from adults and strangers, and some of those adults are sick enough to take them up on their offers. One little trip into a few public instances of games like VRChat will be all the proof you need. I love the Internet, I really do, but I also see how its anonymity has done harm to us and has severely damaged how young people interact with each other, online and offline.
Anyway, sorry that was so long. I've been pissed the fuck off since I saw that Trump "won" the election and this shit has been on my mind for years, just even more so now.
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I couldn't have said it better myself.
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intimidating-fettuccine · 3 days ago
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Silly creep things to try and cheer you up a little bit
LJ will juggle various items at random times, and he often does so quietly, waiting until people notice. They'll be eating breakfast and Jack is just at the end of the table juggling various fruits quietly and intensely, waiting for everyone to notice. It's become such a regular activity that they don't even question it anymore, but those who notice first often have a hard time controlling their laughter. Slender has put limitations on his juggling after he caught Jack juggling several of his very expensive vases one day, although none of the vases were damaged.
Toby is committed to trying to lick the tip of his nose and his elbow with his tongue, but he has so far been unsuccessful. That is also a common thing to see in the mansion, Toby sitting by himself, eyes in full concentration, working overtime to try and succeed in either licking the tip of his nose or his elbow. Tim always ends up having to tell him to stop because he's worried Toby's gonna somehow strain himself, especially when he starts trying to contort his arm to get his elbow closer.
BEN has started being an absolute nuisance to Jeff whenever Jeff is annoying him or picking on him, and Jeff is finally starting to learn his lesson. Jeff with say something to pick on BEN, and BEN will retort back with something worse and then take off running. Jeff, of course, will chase after him, but what BEN has started doing is last minute shifting into his ghost form and slamming a door through his body so Jeff runs face first into the door. BEN has pulled this off a whopping 10 times, and Jeff is now finally realizing that maybe he should not chase after BEN like that. There are various recordings of this happening floating amongst the residents, much to Jeff's chagrin.
Slender is in full baking mode, as he is every fall, and this year he has kicked it up a notch to a point where everyone is getting a little concerned. He uses baking as stress relief, and as he's been particularly stressed lately, he has made, in the last couple of weeks, seven pies, five cakes, and four trays of cupcakes. Despite how many people are in the mansion, Slender makes quite large desserts to combat that so normally everyone can have some, but he's made such a ridiculous amount that they're having a hard time eating through it. They can't get him to stop. He's trying new holiday recipes. He's in the kitchen right now. He's whisking away. He's going to fill the house with desserts and nothing can stop him.
Liu has very recently gotten very into board games, all thanks to BEN for showing him a couple he thought Liu would like. This is good because it's a nice group hobby, and he can teach everyone all of the games and it's a good way to spend time together. The problem is that he's so into them that he wants to play board games all the time. He keeps buying new ones and upon getting home will immediately follow people around politely asking (begging) them to play with him. He will leave the board games out and set them up as a silent sign of trying to get people to ask him if they can play. He can't stop pouting at everyone when nobody wants to play. Jeff is forced into playing the board games the most because he's his brother, and so now Jeff is trying to constantly drag people into it. They enjoy playing the games with Liu, they really do. They just also like being able to sleep and do other things. Liu can't relate. Everyone silently blames BEN for creating this monster but BEN doesn't care and is happy to have someone else around interested in board games.
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purple-plum-petals · 2 days ago
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Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂
⊱ Homicipher Characters’ Reactions to MC Winking at Them and Blowing Them a Kiss ⊰ || Multiple Character Headcanons
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Character(s): Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped, Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (MC’s Lore), Brief Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (Mr. Machete’s Part), Canon-typical Horror Elements (Mr. Gap and Mr. Scarletella's Parts), Cultural Barriers (None of Them Understand the Gesture). Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Platonic or Romantic Relationship Word Count: ~1,880 Request: “Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂” Author’s Note: They all would definitely be confused by the unfamiliar gesture, so I kind of did headcanons about how each of them would react to you blowing them a kiss/how they would go about trying to understand what the gesture meant by using context clues (or just straight-up asking you about it haha). Sorry if they’re not great! I’m still trying to figure out how I want to balance the characters’ personalities as they are in canon while adding some more fun/whimsical aspects of your ask.
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡
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💉: He smiles softly at your cheerful demeanor, yet it falters slightly when you press the tips of your fingers to your lips and squeeze one of your eyes shut in response to him looking in your direction. You remove your fingers from your pursed lips and blow out a puff of air before continuing in the direction you had been walking towards. While he could infer you were in a good mood by your body language, he was curious to know what exactly the gesture meant. 
💉: Instead of lightly treading the question or observing you for any longer to see if he could figure out what the gesture meant by using context clues, Mr. Silvair instead just asks you directly to get an answer as soon as possible the next time he sees you. He deeply enjoyed research and observation, yes, but there was no need to wait to gather information when you were a perfect source of it. 
💉: Of course, it wasn’t easy to explain what “blowing a kiss” was, especially since they didn’t even have equivalent words in their language for “blow” or “kiss,” but you tried your best with what you had to work with. It’s almost funny how earnestly Mr. Silvair is hanging onto every word you speak. He chuckles after you finish explaining, amused by the gesture and its meaning – how quaint, he thinks to himself. 
💉: He found humans to be fascinating and their diverse cultures even more so, so he was of course interested in learning whatever you were able to recall from your previous life in your old realm before you ended up in this one. He treats everything you tell him with an air of respect, and he even documents what you share with him so he (and you) never forget that part of yourself. 
💉: Mr. Silvair finds the gesture to be an entertaining one, but deducts that it’s not usually one humans do with strangers or those they are not comfortable with from your explanation. Does that mean you are comfortable enough around him to express yourself in that manner? How fascinating... Do you care to tell him why you feel the way you do toward him? He’s very much interested in learning the reasoning behind your thought processes. 
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🗣️: Mr. Chopped smiles so widely when he sees you in such a chipper mood, making your way down the hall with a noticeable spring in your step. He likes seeing you happy, so it makes him feel good, too, watching you skip by with such a bright expression on your face! Then, you press your hand to your lips and wink, blowing something he couldn’t see in his direction, and suddenly he’s confused. 
🗣️: Huh… well, that was strange. For some reason, though, the playful gesture seemed almost familiar, yet he couldn’t remember why. He can’t exactly chase after you and ask what that meant, so he’d have to wait until the next time he saw you (which he hoped wouldn't be a long wait – he liked spending time with you). 
🗣️: The next time he saw you, he asked if you could explain what the gesture meant. You did the best you could, but you’re pretty sure he comprehended what you were telling him if the giddy expression on his face was anything to go by. His excitement was quite adorable. However, his expression suddenly falls, and you watch him begin to sulk. How was he supposed to blow you a kiss in return? He didn’t have a body!! The poor man is so distraught. 
🗣️: He gets either Mr. Silvair to help him out or Mr. Hand to, well… give him a hand to enact his plan. The next time you see him, he calls out to you with such a delighted look on his face. So, you make your way over to him and kneel down to his level, watching as the sentient hand comes up to Mr. Chopped’s lips, making the same gesture you did, before he blows you a kiss and winks. He did it! He blew you a kiss!! 
🗣️: Mr. Chopped is very proud of himself and the pleased expression on his face is far too charming for you. He feels a warmth in his metaphorical chest knowing that you felt comfortable enough with him to blow him a kiss, especially since it seems like something humans do with those they are most comfortable with. 
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🕳️: He’s honestly somewhat impressed you knew he was there, observing you through the small hole in the wall while you walk around like you’re on top of the world. He can’t help but wonder what happened that has you so chipper, but his thoughts are derailed a bit when you press your hand to your mouth and blow something at him, closing one of your eyes as you do so… What the hell was that?? 
🕳️: He feels somewhat offended, honestly, and gets that semi-disgusted look on his face before disappearing into the darkness. Mr. Gap understands it’s some kind of weird human gesture, but he can’t really put two-and-two together about what it means. Though, he finds himself continuing to watch you from any nook-and-cranny he could find, observing you to see if you would do the gesture again – you don’t.
🕳️: Mr. Gap ends up startling you while you’re walking down a long, grimy hallway, his hand darting out from a vent to grab your ankle. His grip isn’t tight, but it most certainly scares the life out of you and effectively catches your attention. He finds your scare amusing but ends up cutting straight to the point and asks you why you blew something at him. 
🕳️: Even after explaining what the gesture meant, Mr. Gap still doesn’t fully understand why you did it, so you just tell him it was supposed to be a nice gesture that showed you enjoyed him – playful. That is something he does understand, and it’s almost amusing how the smirk on his face grew. He must be special, he thinks, and his smugness is radiating from his face peeking out of the darkness. 
🕳️: Mr. Gap doesn’t do the gesture back, but he strangely enough finds himself hoping you don’t blow anyone else your kisses. He doesn’t know why the thought of you sharing the gesture with another annoys him a little bit – after all, it wouldn’t make it special anymore if you did it with everyone. He even begins bringing you things, like more crowbars or even pieces of candy he finds lying around. It’s almost like he’s trying to bribe you…
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🔪: He sees you happily skipping around and finds himself having to do a double-take at the strange sight. It wasn’t a bad sight, not at all, it was just weird seeing you so bright and lively. However, his mind buffers a bit when you look at him, pursing your lips and giving him a wink before your fingertips press to your mouth and then flick towards him. 
🔪: Mr. Machete is immediately annoyed, not knowing what the gesture meant, and he assumes you were trying to pick a fight with him. So, he takes his large sword and reels it back, throwing it at you with a strength that still had your eyes boggling. You duck with a yelp as the sword implants itself into the wall behind you. 
🔪: He makes his way over to you with incredible speed, blocking your body between his and the wall as he looks down at you, his head tilted to the side as he asks you if you wanted to fight him. Mr. Machete finds your frustrated expression endearing as you tell him the gesture was meant to be playful and fun. He’s low-key kind of disappointed you didn’t want to fight, but he steps away from you after your explanation without another word. 
🔪: However, while looking down at your angry expression, Mr. Machete suddenly has the urge to squeeze you (I imagine he experiences cuteness aggression regarding you). So, he reaches down and squeezes your cheeks between his large and calloused hand, causing your lips to purse. Even though you hadn’t been in the mood to fight him, now you were. He smirks widely as you two begin to spar all because he misconstrued what your gesture meant. 
🔪: Mr. Machete doesn’t see the point of blowing kisses, and he doesn’t feel any particular way about the gesture. It’s kind of whatever for him, even though he does notice that you don’t seem to do it with anyone else. After the first time (that ended up leading to a spar), though, he notices you hadn’t blown him another kiss since… He ends up coming up to tell you in his gruff, almost rude way, that he wouldn’t mind if you did it again. 
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🩸: He tilts his head to the side at the gesture, his shaggy red hair swaying with the movement. Well… that was new, he thinks. He liked you quite a bit (far more than just a bit, really… my man is kind of obsessed with you), and he had been following you throughout your entire journey in this realm, yet he had never once seen that expression or gesture from you before. Now, he was curious to know what it meant, and he was going to try and figure it out one way or another.  
🩸: He continues to keep his eye on you, following you as you go about your day. Mr. Scarletella likes seeing you so chipper and full of life, especially considering you were someone who tended to take life from others. The dichotomy between your behavior and actions had his heart racing. However, despite what he expected, you never did the gesture again. So, he couldn’t gather information by observing you – he would need to simply ask you directly, then. 
🩸: Mr. Scarletella effectively manages to corner you after some time, catching you completely off-guard. While you two had certainly started off on the wrong foot, you had gotten to the point where you were relatively calm and comfortable around the strange man who was so incredibly down bad for you. He gazes down at you with his lifeless eyes, inquiring about the gesture you made earlier. 
🩸: You explain to him what the gesture meant for you, that you were simply in a good mood and felt a little bit playful at the moment when you blew him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella smiles at your words, feeling very pleased with the information. So, it meant you liked him, correct? It meant you felt comfortable enough to express your happiness towards him in such a way, right?
🩸: Well, you inadvertently ended up making him even more obsessed with you, and now his feelings become even stronger every time you blow him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella finds the act an interesting way to express your interest and enjoyment of another being, so he begins to blow you his own kisses in return. He is one of the characters I feel would want to learn more about human customs to deepen his relationship with you even if he doesn’t fully grasp why some gestures mean certain things. 
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dynamightimagines · 2 days ago
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Can you write some headcannons of Izuku, Katsuki, Denki, Kiri, and Tamaki Amajiki dating a reader whose quirk is basically her being a magical girl.
Hey hey! Sorry this one took a min! This is so cute I have just been so mf busy with work and everything in like (why is finding new health insurance so mf hard) Hope you like it!! headcannons under the tag!! (I'm switching canon a little around for a few to fit reader into the story!)
Izuku, Katsuki, Denki, Kirishima, and Tamaki with a magical girl! S/O!
Izuku Midoriya
The first time Deku had seen your quirk he was absolutely stunned.
You guys were doing the villain and hero scenario's and you had been partnered with Uraraka to stop Iida and Bakugou from taking the bomb
It was normal at first, until the bright light went off
At first Izuku thought it was Bakugou setting off a particularly big explosion, the white of the blast blinding the cameras they were watching the fight from
But as it dimmed he realized it was focused around you, and as it went away he realized why your hero costume at first was so basic
It had completely transformed, you now adorned in a cute (favorite color) outfit, complete with bows and a small staff now in your hands
You seemed to move faster, even with the complicated outfit you were dodging your enemies left and right, sending out blasts from the staff you now carried
Izuku desperately wished he had his journal right now. How did your entire outfit change? And the increase in your stamina and dexterity?
You were keeping up very well with your opponents, dodging Bakugou's blasts left and right and moving faster than Iida could reach you
You were able to keep them long enough for the timer to run out, signaling your win against the hero team
As soon as you got back to the meeting room you were flocked by everyone, all of them aweing over your new costume and how your quirk worked
Another bright flash was sent out and you were back into your normal clothes, fatigue now visibly apparent on your face
Deku offered to take you to the infirmary to rest since his trial was already done
He tried really hard, but he couldn't stop himself from throwing question after question at you, wondering how your quirk worked, its drawbacks, and what all you could do
You were happy to answer all of his questions, bashful at the idea of someone so interested in your quirk
This blossomed your friendship, and little did you know how far your relationship would go
Katsuki Bakugou
Everyone teased him for your relationship
How did he, the angriest and most volatile student in UA, get together with one of the most upbeat and sociable students?
He made everyone who knew swear up and down they'd never let it out that he was the one that fell for you first
When he first saw your quirk, he thought it was the most obnoxious thing in the world, bright lights and frills and a wand?
But the power you had, the strength and how well you wielded the quirk's possibilities was admirable
Your sociable personality bounced off of his brash one well, making you two a popular couple
He knew you could handle yourself, sitting back during training knowing you'd always kick your opponents ass
Plus, he found it absolutely hilarious to see hardened, scary villains get demolished by you in your adorable costume, like a doll beating down Godzilla
He will also never admit it, but he finds your outfit adorable
He swears it changes a little bit every now and then, morphing to your growing personality
No matter what, its a perfect personification of you, and he will never get tired of it!
Denki Kaminari
The first time Denki saw you in action he swears he died and went to heaven
We know this guy watches anime, so the fact that, right before his eyes, a beautiful magical girl is here, just for him?
Technically just for him, as you two were sparring and you were coming right at him with your staff at the ready
He didn't care if he got teased for the quickest knockout in today's class, the fact that you carried him back to the infirmary and waited for him to wake up is all he needed to see before he decided he loved you
He hits you with so many flirty comments, calling you magical and asking you if you could sweep him off his feet
Luckily for him, it worked, and you two began dating
He will never stop bragging about you, showing off your quirk and cuteness to everyone he meets, daring them to fight you just so he can see you kick their asses, and see their faces as they realize the adorable and seemingly harmless girl they dared to fight could probably send them to hell and back
If anyone makes fun of your quirk he's quick to defend you, threatening to fight whoever dares to be mean to you, even though he knows you can defend yourself
He will never get over your magical girl outfit, begging you to activate your quirk just so he can take pictures of you in it
He will beg Momo to make a replica of it so you can wear it even while not activating your quirk
You are his beautiful magical princess and he will always treat you as such!
Eijiro Kirishima
You two are such a power duo
you both are power houses in a fight, and when you're partnered you are practically unstoppable
Imagine trying to block Kirishima while you're in the back shooting blast after blast of pure power
Any opponent would be overwhelmed quite easily
If anyone doubts you because of how your quirk looks he is the first to defend you, telling whoever is being mean to you that you are probably much stronger than most macho looking guys out there
If anyone's words ever get to you and you start doubting yourself he makes sure to shower you in reassurances, telling you that despite how girly someone may think your quirk looks you are a beast on the battlefield
He would ask you to help him train, to shoot blast after blast at him to help him increase the durability of his hardening
You two are easily the most popular couple at UA, your guys' kindness and strength make everyone feel safe and appreciated
Tamaki Amajiki
Tamaki first noticed you when you got second place in that year's sports festival, just behind Mirio
Mirio quickly became your friend, so of course you became good friends with Nejire and Tamaki too!
You and Nejire became best friends first, two of the cutest girls in your year made you quite popular
Tamaki was very intimidated by you at first, your flashiness and power was enough to make anyone shy
But you were so nice! How could he not respond to you and hang out with you when you asked so politely, and made sure to make plans in calm places so he wouldn't be overwhelmed?
Plus Mirio loved you, so that was good enough reason for him to open up to you
You're definitely the 'leader' in the relationship, taking lead of plans and any interactions you guys had while you were out
"He asked for no pickles" type of dynamic
You thought his power was absolutely amazing, and you never failed to tell him so, even though it made him a blushing mess
You got lots of love letters, many boys and girls alike showed affection for you and it made Amajiki very self conscious
You always reassured him, promising you would never leave him for someone else
He loves you with all his might and he will never stop showing it to you
Can you tell I lost all writing capabilities and motivation half way through this LOL I love this prompt I just suck at keeping focused. Love ya!
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alchemistc · 1 day ago
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911 was always in my periphery bc of how popular Buck x Eddie is on Tumblr and Ao3. I didn't really want to watch a cable network procedural drama, especially one that came off as so unserious. I could also see how such invested shipping by a lot of fans who are young and think it’s ok to demand things from the cast and crew would inevitably become a toxic cesspool. I stand by that assessment of the show based on the behavior of the fandom these last months, as well as the overall quality of the writing and how often good story lines just get dropped or undermined.
However, I heard about Buck coming out. Over the summer, I was going through a lot and feeling aimless, so I finally started watching the show. And I liked Buck and Tommy, but what I really loved was the quality of the fan works they inspired. At the end of the day, I never really had real expectations of high quality television from a show like 911; that’s not what it’s for.
Despite this, what really affected me last night—which was also the first episode I bothered watching live ever because of how terrible this last week has been—wasn’t even how badly it was executed or the fact that they broke up. But how unnecessarily and viciously cruel the whole thing felt?
What was the point of showing Tommy as a caring, supportive, present partner in the previous episode if it was going to lead to an unceremonious break up? What was the point of showing his yearning for connection and family only to see him throw it all away? Why have him say such wonderful things about Buck moments before questioning the commitment of their relationship after six months together? What was the point of Buck getting that speech from Josh and bringing up marriage and moving in together and that Tommy had been a transformative relationship when it was going to end with him being dumped? It just felt so horribly cruel to see a character bare his tender heart and see it get stomped on. He looked so sad at the end.
Up till the very end of the episode, I was actually really enjoying it. Their acting was so good from heart eyes to heartbreak, and the show seemed to understand Tommy’s reaction to Buck getting hit on by those women would cause friction. It even made sense to me that Tommy would recoil at the prospect of moving in together because Buck clearly hasn’t come to terms with being queer yet (sir, you haven’t researched the Kinsey scale? You?) And Tommy is also clearly afraid to reach for the connections he wants and the seeming inevitability of his heart being broken and is masking that with nonsense about Buck needing to play the field and the biphobia present wherein. It was such an interesting depth to his character! I thought the break up speech was so well-acted, and I was so ready for the conversation they were going to have that would address it and let them move on together stronger. To see Buck learn from Josh and see the scars Tommy was unintentionally revealing in that moment and address them.
And then the credits started rolling and I felt like I got punched in the gut.
It was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, with the election and other personal stuff really stressing me out this week. Last night, I felt sick and unable to sleep, and I spent the morning bawling my eyes out. It feels like one of the few things I really looked forward to had been snatched away for the shock factor. I believe the interviews are the definite death knell, but even if you don’t follow the interviews, it was just a cruel way to end the episode. Even if this ends up being a temporary roadblock or they “fix” it, it’ll always leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Anyway, I’m upset that I let a show I always knew wasn’t very good affect me this much, and I regret spending months of my life on it. But the reason I wanted to send this ask was because my real hyperfixation these last few months was never the show itself; it was always the Bucktommy fandom. Reading some of the most beautiful fanfiction, including yours, these deep and intense character studies or au’s or future fics that show more love to these characters than the show does. The stunning art, the lovingly rendered gifs, the startlingly funny and insightful writing. The fandom has been my real love, and I hope that despite this huge blow, people like you will continue being so immensely creative and artistic for this ship.
I’m sorry this has been so long and vent-y, but I wanted to send you this ask because you’re one of my favorite fic authors, and I’ve been following your posts since last night and you’re still responding to anonymous asks. I’ve always been stealth in the fandom to avoid certain parts of it, so didn’t want this on my own blog. If you do publish it, I hope the other authors and artists and creators who have made my life better get to see it too <3 And that they don’t regret the time and passion and love they’ve poured into the last few months. I have appreciated it, if nothing else.
Hi.
First of all, please don't apologize for the length of this.
Everything you pointed out were exactly the reasons people joined this fandom. Everything you listed here is EXACTLY the reason it left such a bad taste in our mouth.
I'm sorry I won't be more eloquent in this post, because this is such a kind and thoughtful and lovely summation of all the things I've been hearing and seeing and feeling.
The point of all that, if we are to believe Lou (which I do, and honestly props to him for being as gracious as he was in those post-mortems: fucking TWO exit interviews for a guest star? wtf abc), WAS to pull the rug out from under the audience. It WAS to end it all on a shocker of heartbreak. They filmed the bulk of Tommy's S8 scenes AFTER the breakup. It is absolutely vicious and cruel and meant to make people talk about it. The engagement they are getting right now is to some extent WHAT THEY WANTED. I went straight to my notes after work and I can't be fucked to check the insta or FB to see if they've posted anything new and/or what the comment count is on the 8x06 posts but THIS IS THE INTENDED RESULT. Broken hearts, upset people, an increasingly toxic fandom crowing.
That's where I'm at. I think that's where a lot of people have landed. And it's so disheartening to see something that really genuinely drew people in because it was handled so gently and kindly at first just be ripped away and the door shut on it.
And honestly if they close the mid season OR open or close 8B on a premise that includes one of them being injured and the other having a Realization™️ I won't trust this team to do it genuinely or truly. Even the breakup would have held so much potential for me, but not like this.
Anyway. I'm sorry you're feeling so disappointed. I am grieving the missed potential of literally every plot they built up this season for every character and if I do watch it won't be live and I will likely have very little trust for it's potential. There has been So Much wasted potential.
And I want to say thank you. Even if you lurked, even if you disengage now, the creators who made those works made them out of love and they wanted to share them and the community around it all has been lovely to see. Thank you.
Some of us will still be hanging around building the world that could have been. I hope, if you feel up to peeking at that sandbox, that you feel welcome to go play in it or even just clap from the sidelines.
♥️
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bxnfire · 1 day ago
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Silver Tongue || Satoru Gojo
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✎ synopsis: after losing a bet to geto, gojo has to go get a piercing of geto’s choice, but this was far from a punishment; you were his piercer, and one thing sure leads to another when dealing with someone with a silver tongue like gojo
✎ content/warnings: piercer!reader x gojo, smut, fluff, oral (f. receiving), semi-public, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, masturabation, needles (?), pet names, dirty talk, mutual pining, flirting
✎ a/n: bra i saw this random mf on tiktok with a tongue piercing and decided my beautiful man should have one as well. enjoy <3!
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Geto and Gojo have been friends for a really long time. Their dynamic is a chaotic one, but it works for them just fine. It is not uncommon for the 2 to go out a lot, but what is uncommon is Gojo losing bets. Gojo was cocky, yeah, but he had a reason to be; he was the kind of guy to be good at what he tried his hand at no matter what, often leaving Geto amused by trying to figure out what it was he couldn’t do.
Turns out, Gojo’s biggest enemy was his very own ego. After a long day of doing random physical activities, Geto challenged Gojo to a simple race. Of course, Gojo was fatigued but he let his ego take the best of him, and thus accepted Geto’s challenge.
“But,” Geto added, “if I win, you’re getting a piercing. Of my choice.”
“So then if I win, you’re getting my initials tattooed on your arm,” Gojo said cheekily, trying to think of the stupidest font to request at the tattoo shop.
“You’re so on,” Geto replied. And with that, they had a race. But much to Gojo’s dismay and Geto’s amusement (or rather, amazement?), the former lost.
That is how the pair found themselves at 1 a.m. at the door of the tattoo shop you worked at. You were a great tattoo artist and piercer, but since you were still in college you were often given later shifts, which allowed you to meet interesting characters, this duo being one of them.
You were sitting at the counter working on some new designs when you heard the door open, and once you looked up you made eye contact with the deepest cerulean eyes you had ever seen. Unaware that you were starring, you got startled once the man next to him spoke to you.
“Hey there Y/n, nice to meet ya,” said the black-haired male, looking at your name tag, startling partly because you were in a trance watching the white-haired guy next to him, and partly because his voice was oddly… sultry.
“Hi, whatcha thinking of getting today?” You ask him, eyeing his piercings.
“Well the thing is we’re not here for me today, though I may come back; we’re here for him,” he smiled, gesturing towards the guy that had you in a trance.
“Yeah…. I’m getting a piercing today,” he said, looking deep into your eyes.
You swallow before replying. “So then, what piercing would you like?”
“What’s popular with girls these days?” He says smirking.
The black-haired guy laughs, slapping him in the back. “You’re so dumb,” he manages to get out between laughs.
“Well,” you paused, genuinely trying to answer his question, “I’ve seen a lot of girls go crazy for some eyebrow and nose piercings. You could also get traditional earrings of course, they’re always good starter piercing.”
“I don’t know if I want it to be so apparent though… but I like the eyebrow piercing suggesting,” he responds, deep in thought.
“Not too quick Satoru, remember our bet: I get to choose your piercing,” he cuts quick, looking at Satoru.
“Oh… Bring it on then, I could rock anything,” he laughed, his pride shining through.
“You’re so damn cocky, I’d like to shut you up… actually, yes, I’ll shut you up,” he then turns to you, “he’ll be getting a tongue piercing tonight,” he says, decidedly.
“I hope you’re not a foodie then,” you say amused, catching on the dynamic between the two.
“Suguru,” he cries, “you KNOW this won’t end well.”
“Well that’s part of the point isn’t it?” He smiles softly, his angelic tone just making it funnier.
“Well, I’ll start setting up my station,” you say, looking through a couple of drawers until you find tongue jewelry. “While I set up, pick one of these, I recommend the first 3 at the top, they’re nicer while you’re healing.”
As soon as you leave, Satoru starts looking through the selection of piercings. Pills, dice, even a marijuana leaf, and he giggles, but in the end, he does take up on your recommendation and chooses a simple, silver stud.
“I can’t wait to hear you speak after this,” Geto says.
“Oh shut up,” he replies.
“Ready! Please come over here,” you shout from your station, putting your gloves on.
“Coming!” Said Satoru, and as he started walking Geto followed.
As he sits down on the chair, he shows you the piercing he chose.
“I see you took on my recommendation,” you say looking at him and smiling, and Satoru felt his heart flutter.
“Y-Yeah, I did,” he replied, trying to hide how flustered he was.
“You nervous?” You ask, catching on to his stutters.
“You could say that,” he laughs, happy he could cover it up so easily.
And sure, maybe to you he could, but not to Geto. He quickly caught on the fact that Gojo was flustered because of you. Having known the guy for years, he knew how he reacted to injuries, danger, and even needles, and he never gets flustered, no. He’s also seen him around girls he finds attractive, and while Satoru is able to talk to them, he does get flustered at first. How adorable.
“Yeah, he’s scared alright,” Geto says, teasing Satoru.
“Don’t worry! Tongue piercings aren’t typically the most hurtful ones. Of course, it varies from person to person, but having pierced and heard from several people about them, they’re not terrible,” you say reassuringly.
What an angel, Satoru thinks. Though he’d never admit it to Suguru, he was starting to be glad he got him in this predicament. You were so cute, so sweet trying to make him feel better, and he couldn’t help but notice the piercings and tattoos that adorned your beautiful body. He wondered if there were other masterpieces hidden under your clothes.
Trying not to pry on it too much, he watched you get a marker and come close to him, so close he could smell your sweet scent. Shit, maybe looking at you could be my anesthesia, he thought.
“Alright then! Please take out your tongue, I need to mark the spot where I’ll pierce,” you say.
“Well then,” he says, taking his tongue out. Getting a funny feeling as you mark his skin, he tries not to giggle in fear it’d mess up your work.
You pull away and then put a mirror so he can look at his face. “Do you like how it looks there? Or would you want it someplace else?”
“That looks perfect, let’s do it,” he says.
“Great! Then sit while I get my stuff,” you say.
“What’s your name again?” You ask.
“You can call me Gojo,” he replies.
“Ok Gojo, Take a deep breath in,” you say, and as he does so, you put the needle through his tongue, “then breathe out,” once again, he obediently breathes out, relieved in the little pain he actually felt. This is when you actually put the jewelry in.
“Now I’m just securing the stud. And there ya go, take a look,” you say, bringing the mirror back.
“Wow,” he says, surprised at how much he actually liked the piercing.
“There’s some fun piercings you can put in once it heals, but make sure you’re taking care of it correctly,” you say, and then begin to explain the care process for the piercing.
As you 3 move back out to the checkout counter, you recommend some products to Gojo for whatever he may need. You also say he’s welcome to come back if he feels uncomfortable in any way.
“Or if you’re a busy man, here’s my phone number,” you say boldly, hoping it’s not obvious how attracted you were to him, “let me know if you have any questions as it heals!”
“Thank you Y/n, I’ll let you know if anything happens,” he smiles as he takes the paper with your number, automatically taking out his phone and putting the contact in.
“Alright then, ready to survive off ice cream for a while?” Geto asks.
“Sounds like a sweet deal,” Gojo replies smiling.
“Pleasure to meet you,” you say as they walk out.
“The pleasure was mine sweetheart,” Gojo replies, finding the courage from his new piercing, and luckily for you he turns around, because you’re left as red as a tomato.
As him and Geto walk out, you wonder whether he’ll text you with more than just questions about the piercing. Sheepishly, you go back to your station and clean it up, relishing on the faint smell of Gojo’s cologne that stayed behind.
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While you’re sitting on the train on the home, you get a text from an unknown number:
💬 Unknown: so what did you say helped with swelling again?
💬 Unknown: it’s gojo btw 👅
You smile. As you type up your recommendations and add him to your contacts, admittedly wanting to see him again. So then, conveniently of course, you ask for a contact picture.
💬 You: mind sending me a contact pic?
💬 Gojo 👅: [IMG]
The picture was of him taking his tongue out playfully, showing off the jewelry you had just given him. His cerulean eyes peeked through his round sunglasses, and with that you got flustered yet again, which was ridiculous: to think you had pierced nipples, tattooed in places where sunlight doesn’t quite reach, and you’re flustered over a normal selfie?
💬 Gojo 👅: you did me justice
💬 You: i think any piercing would’ve worked just fine 👀
And on the other side of the screen, it was now Gojo who was flustered at your words. Unknowingly, for the same reason as you, he asked for a contact picture. Bringing out your holder side, you take a selfie from an angle that shows many of your attributes, and Gojo isn’t immune to your charm. As he updates your contact, he can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks… and his dick.
He quickly realizes it was going to be a restless night, or rather, morning? The clock marked 3 o’clock, and whilst the world outside his room was silent, it was easy to fantasize of what it’d be like to have you there with him.
Squeezing his tip through his underwear, he thinks back to your pretty face, so focused and so close to his as you pierced his tongue. He wonders what it’d look like covered in his cum: would you lick it up? Would you clean it with your fingers? Would you make him clean it up for you?
The more he thinks of you, the hornier he gets. Taking his hardened cock out from his underwear, he starts thinking of what he’d do to you. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to see your body before him right now. Is there any piercings he didn’t catch on you having? Tattoos? Would you like him to kiss those on you? Maybe even lick them? You would probably taste so sweet, yeah, as sweet as you smell or as sweet as you sound.
At this point, he’s fisting himself quickly, massaging his balls every now and then, soon to reach his release. He remembers your sweet voice saying his surname, your laugh as you watched him and Suguru’s banter, and your beautiful eyes looking at him. With that, he came all over his hand, deciding he had to see you soon.
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As the days passed, you and Gojo texted more and more. Your conversations always started with a silly question about the piercing from him, and from then on it would range from your favorite subjects to trips you have made and your favorite foods. You found yourself crushing hard on Gojo, taking little notes of the things he liked and wanted to do, and trying to gather up the courage to ask him to hangout.
Lucky for you, he had been feeling the same, except he was bolder than you, and thus, he asked first.
💬 Gojo 👅: y/nnnnn
💬 Gojo 👅: you free tonight??
💬 Gojo 👅: there’s this place i wanted to check out near your job, so maybe before you start your shift we could go?
You were ecstatic. Quickly confirming that you were down, you get dressed and head out for the door. Reaching your meet-up spot, you anxiously wait for Gojo. To calm your nerves down, you scroll through TikTok and find yourself laughing at the stupidest videos. Not noticing a tall presence behind you, Gojo decides to surprise you, crouching down to your level to whisper in your ear.
“What’s so funny, doll?” He asks, completely scaring you.
“Gojo! Dont sneak up on me like that again,” you say, relieved that it’s him and not a weirdo, and he laughs at your scared state.
“But where’s the fun in that?” He asks cheekily, and then he begins walking to the place he wanted to go.
You two chitchat nonstop on the way there. You had nurtured a sweet friendship in the little time you guys had known each other. You really appreciated how funny Gojo was, telling you things that made you wonder just how his mind worked. There truly was never a dull moment between the two of you. The more you knew him, the more into him you became. Sometimes you could feel the tension between the two of you, walking together while your hands brushed against each other, him asking you to check on his piercing often and you having to get so close to his handsome face, and other things like that which gave your stomach butterflies.
After eating at that new restaurant, you suddenly remembered that Gojo’s piercing was now fully healed, and knowing his spontaneous nature, you suggested that he get it changed, just to switch it up a bit.
“Really? What would you suggest, you’re the professional after all,” he says while smiling at you.
“Well, we could go back to the shop and I could show you a couple of cool ones, we got a new batch this week,” you replied, thinking already of which he would like.
“Sounds like a plan,” he says, and after that you two head into the store.
It wasn’t open on Mondays, but given that your manager really trusted you, you had a copy of the keys to the store. Rushing into the shop before other people noticed, you and Gojo get settled in the quiet store. As he waits there looking around the things you had on display, you look for the drawer with tongue jewelry once again, reminding you of the night you met. Smiling softly to yourself, you pull a drawer out and bring it on the counter, the noise of you setting it down catching Gojo’s attention.
He steps closer to it and starts looking through the collection you have. Giggling once he reached the marijuana one again, he asks for the one you like most.
“Well, if I’m being honest the one you have right now is one of my favorite, you can never go wrong with a traditional silver stud. Now, I remember you wanted something to impress girls yeah?” You ask jokingly, and he blushes a little at the fact that you remembered him telling you that when you met.
“In that case, then you should definitely check this one out,” you say as you point to one that looked sort of like a hammer.
“What’s special about that one? It kind of looks like the pill one you got over there,” he asks curiously.
“While this one may look like just a little “pill” to you, it is a vibrator piercing,” you say a little flustered, realizing how intimate it was after you said it out loud.
“Oh,” he says, now looking intently at you.
“Yeah, I don’t really know if you’re an eater or anything,” you joke, trying to bring up the mood, but you notice it only made the atmosphere grow thicker, so you continue, “but this one can really take things up a notch when you’re down there hehe.”
“I’d like to say my head game is strong,” he says suggestively, “but I sure would like to see how this would make things better.”
“I could change it for you if you’d like! Or I could walk you through the process so you know what to do in the future whenever you wanna change it yourself, but trust me when I say, any girl you’re with will be very lucky,” you say boldly, hoping he realizes the piercing is not what they’d be lucky about.
“I think I’ll let you do it this time doll, I wouldn’t want to mess it up,” he says, knowing he’d be too distracted thinking of what he’d like to do to you with this very piercing if you would so desire.
“Well then,” you say, growing flustered as you get near your station, feeling him come close behind. You set him down, and ask him to open his mouth, something that feels oddly intimate considering the fact that you’re alone with him, with no one walking in, and he’s opening his mouth with your face so close to his, to make matters worse, his enticing eyes looking right at you.
You get to work in changing the jewelry as you explain to him how it works. “So, to turn it on, you need to tighten up the little ball at the bottom,” you say as you demonstrate, and then he gets a funny feeling on his tongue as he feels the metal vibrate through.
“And turn it off?” He asks, trying his best not to laugh.
“For that just unscrew it a little,” you demonstrate yet again, and he feels the vibrations coming to a stop.
Feeling the tension between you two, he decides to take it up a notch and test the waters. “I’d love to try it to its full extent,” he says, knowing that the conversation would go back to a more explicit topic.
“I’m telling you, your girl will be satisfied,” you reply, trying not to pry too much on it in fear he’ll see how badly you wanted him to try it on you.
“Well, I don’t really have a girl right now,” he says, not missing the relief and happiness that comes to your face right as he says it, “but there is someone I’d like to try it on.”
“And who might that be?” You ask, almost breathless.
“Take a guess,” he says, not giving you a chance to respond as he’s bringing your face to his and kissing you right on the spot.
After the initial shock of Gojo’s actions and the fact that your very own crush is kissing you, you let your impulse take over as you put your hand on his neck and bring him closer. You lick his lower lip asking for permission to go in, something that he eagerly grants, and your tongues find a rhythm that leaves you both breathless, your cunt feeling something whenever your tongue graced his piercing.
“So, were you able to figure it out?” He asks cheekily, still blushing from the fact that you kissed back and lord, were you a good fucking kisser.
“No, I don’t think you were very clear,” you reply, the fact that you matched his energy doing things to Gojo.
You pull him in this time, but he took his initiative somewhere else. He sat you on his lap and started caressing your sides, not daring to touch your bare skin no matter how much he wanted to, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.
On the other hand, it was getting harder and harder for you to play it cool in front of him. Feeling his big, veiny hands run all over you was making you ache for so much more. Not daring to say a word, you put your hands over his and guide them where you want them to be. You take one of them under your shirt all the way to your boobs, and in doing so you feel him moan into your kiss. Growing more confident at his reaction, you take the other one down to your ass, letting him squeeze to his desire.
He understands what you need want him to do and he starts gently fondling your boobs, switching back and forth between the two, as his other hand guided your movements to grind on his hardened dick.
You start moaning into his lips, and he abandons your lips to go on a trip down your face to your ears and your neck with his own. Finding a spot that seemed to have the greatest reaction out of you, he chooses to mark it for reference, just a little hickey to guide him later on, and one to let others now that you were his.
“This is your weak spot, isn’t it?” He says, relishing on the way you quiver at the feel of his breath on your skin.
“T-That’s one of ‘em,” you respond, giving in to your lust entirely, “but can ya find the o-others?” You ask, wanting to see how far he’ll go.
“Such a dirty doll,” he says, feeling his dick throb at your words, “of course I can find the others, I know you’ll guide me to them.”
Breaking away from you to take your shirt off, you shiver as you feel the cold hit your skin. Your nipples hardened and it was apparent through your bra, which made Gojo hungry for more of you. Taking it off as he plants a sweet kiss on your lips, he licks his way down until he reaches your nipples, and starts licking them and then blowing to keep them hard, something that had you grinding harder and harder on his boner.
“Can I try my piercing on you doll? Please? I need to know how you taste,” he says, drunk on your body, “I’m craving the sweetest treat of all.”
As he says that, his hands find his way to your underwear, and over them he plays with your wet pussy. Circling around your cunt as you whine for more, he takes your pants and panties off, letting him take a look at your naked body.
Admiring it like a master piece, Gojo stood what he’s doing altogether just to get a good look at you, wondering how concerning it’d be if he got this tattooed sometime. You squirm under his stare, and yet, you don’t feel the impulse to cover up or turn any of the lights off, if anything, you wanted him to look at you like you’re the last meal he’s about to eat.
And a feast is exactly what he had. Not even 2 minutes after admiring you like a goddess, he tightened the piercing and started flat-tongued to lick up and down your pussy. Moans quickly filled the room, the wet sensation of his tongue combined with the vibrations all over your pussy quickly overstimulating you. He puts his fingers in your mouth as his tongue finds its way to your clit. Lapping at it with the vibrating piece on his tongue sent shocks through you, making you buck your hips into him desperate to feel more than just his tongue on you. Retrieving the fingers you licked from your mouth, he put one finger inside of you, surprised at how easily it slipped into you.
“You’re so fucking warm and wet,” he says as he feels you on his finger, dick throbbing just thinking of how good it’d feel like once it wasn’t just his fingers inside of you.
Fingering you as he kept his tongue pressed to your clit, your eyes rolled back in pure pleasure, your moans now louder than they were before, sounding even more lewd combined with the sound of your wet pussy taking in Gojo’s fingers and his tongue slurping and keeping in contact with your clit.
With his free hand, he caressed your thigh gently, which seemed almost ironic giving how relentlessly he was pumping his fingers into you, how mercilessly he was working his tongue to please your clit.
You couldn’t take it for much longer. You felt your climax building up in your stomach, and just before you could tell him, you were splashing your juices all over his hand and face, leaving him shocked for a moment.
Quickly realizing what had just happened, he happily licks your cunt clean before cleaning his own fingers up, happily realizing that you’re even sweeter he thought you’d be.
“Don’t think I’m done with you just yet,” he says, getting up to undress quickly as he was eager to fuck you.
Coming out of your post-orgasm bliss, you notice how veiny his long, thick shaft is. Feeling your cunt clench on nothing just waiting for him to come inside of you, a curious hand reached for his dick and gave it a few stokes, filling your fingers get precum on them. Hearing his breath hitch, you quicken the pace of your strokes. This activated that dirty mouth he had on him, making you think that he’s nothing but a silver tongue the way he effectively had you right at his mercy.
“F-Fuck doll, your h-hand feels s-so good,” he moans. “Y-You h-have no idea what y-you do to me.”
You keep going like this for a little bit, until he grabs your hand and kisses it while looking right at you.
“I would love to cum off your hands alone someday,” he says, “but today is not that day, I need to be in your sweet pussy doll, can I?” He asks, placing another kiss, this time in the inside of your wrist.
“Y-Yes please Gojo,” you whine.
“Say my name doll,” he says.
“Gojo,” you respond.
He positions himself right at your entrance. Slapping his dick in your pussy, he teases both you and himself while his pride toys with you until you call him by his name.
“Wrong,” he says, now slapping a bit quicker, the lewd sound of skin slapping combinted with your moans filling the room. “It’s Satoru,” he says, trying his damned best not to moan at the pleasure.
Seeing you lost in that same agonizing pleasure, he dives right into your pussy, touching your cervix in that first stroke, earning a yelp from you. Wanting to keep his little game going, he kept talking. “C’mon doll, it’s easy, it’s S-A-T-O-R-U,” he panted, a stroke for every letter as he spelled out his name.
“S-Satoru! I-It’s so big!” You said, struggling to adjust to his length with how recklessly he pounded into you right off the bat.
“You can take it doll I know you must have a high pain tolerance,” he said, focusing a little too much on the feeling of your warm, soaked pussy, which squeezed his cock so deliciously, he knew he wouldn’t last long.
You, on the other hand, were in a whole other world. Satoru quite literally was fucking you silly, being already stimulated on your orgasm from not too long ago, his big fucking dick just had reached the spot you struggled to reach even with your toys. Blabbering some nonsense amidst of saying his name like a broken record, you feel your orgasm building up once again, something that Satoru quickly catches on to from the way your pussy was gripping his dick.
“You’re so tight doll, you’re going to milk me dry,” he says in between pants, “fuck, can I cum inside?” He asks while looking right at you, doubting how effective he’d be trying to pull out right now, and in all honesty, he was so lost on how good you felt he wanted to paint your insides, leave his mark, make you his.
“Y-Yes!” You do your best to say, finding it hard to get the words out. It doesn’t take long from here for you both to finish, Gojo making a mess of your pussy as by the time he pulls out both of your juices and his and intermixed coming out of you. He fingers you once more, this time to help you take his cum out. He then carries you bridal style to the bathroom so you can pee, in the meantime finding some paper towels to clean himself up and a little bit of the mess you left behind.
When you came back, he carries you back to where you had just fucked, and lays you on top of him to cool off together after such steamy sex you had.
“So… did you like the outcome?” You ask giggly, breaking the ice.
“Fuck, if getting piercings means I’ll get to be with you more then so be it. I’m coming every week for a new one,” he says, genuinely thinking of what he could get next.
“No need, I’d make time for you even if you didn’t get any more piercings,” you say, blushing at your little confession, immediately putting your head on the crook of his neck out of embarrassment.
He pulls you back, forcing you to look at him. You’re blushing, hair messy, and eyes slightly glossy after the intense moment you just had, and you’d never looked more beautiful in his mind. Smiling like an idiot after just looking at you, he says “you’re truly just as sweet as you taste,” and with that, you blush even harder.
“So then, will you be my girlfriend?” He asks suddenly, leaving you dumbfounded.
“I know it’s a bit of a rush and maybe not as romantic as I would’ve liked for it to be,” he admits, “but I must confess that I’ve had a thing for you since we met, and I couldn’t live with myself if you weren’t mine after today.”
You’re blushing so hard right now, but also matching his love fool smile, happy that he liked you back. “Of course, Satoru, I’ll be yours, but only if you’ll promise you’ll be mine,” you say, snuggling up to him and looking deep into those beautiful eyes.
“Oh doll, I have been yours ever since you merely looked at me,” he says, then he kisses you gently, you can feel his love through this kiss, which unlike the others you just shared, this one was filled with pure love and admiration, and much like the other kisses he had given you today, these were addicting, immediately making you ache for more.
For the rest of the night, you guys just stayed there talking to each other about anything and everything. Making silly plans for the future, confessing the way you both had been pining for each other, and just laughing at how funny this all was, how crazy it was that it took you two less to have sex than to confess to each other, but, it was just as meaningful nonetheless.
Going back to your apartment, you two settled in your bed, ready to sleep after such intense night. There, basking in his warmth, you realized just how lucky and happy you were to have your job, because after all, if it weren’t for that you wouldn’t have met Satoru, the boy of your dreams, and next to you, Satoru was thinking just that, and even if he’d never admit it to Geto, he was so grateful to have lost that bet and swallow up his pride, because now, he had something truly worth boasting about: you. Who would’ve thought a piercing would change his life? Certainly, he wouldn’t have guessed it, but at the same time, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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casurlaub · 2 days ago
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There's no way of knowing for sure but I think it's an interesting question to discuss...
I assume that you'd need to recognize your fear on some level for the Boggart to represent it... We see a lot of pretty 'childish' (not meaning this in a condescending way) fears displayed in PoA when they have that Boggart lesson... Not so many dead bodies or even abstract fears (like being lonely), as you would expect from adults. And it all makes sense because they are children but you simply can not tell me that Hermione's greatest fear really was McGonagall telling her she'd failed all her classes. Of course fear of failure is a valid fear (all fears are valid?) and believe me, I can relate, but with everything they had gone through already? Also... Remus asking them to take a moment to consider their greatest fears implies to me it's something you're aware of on some level.
So... What is/was Remus aware of?
The moon obviously is a very obvious choice - from a young age on its there, it's visible, it's easy to blame for him reliving excruciating pain and fear (and lose of self-control) every month.
And when we see him facing his Boggart, it's indeed the moon. Not being shunned by other wizards, not side-effects of lycanthrooy but the moon. Of course it's a symbol for his lycanthropy but as it's the full moon it's obviously linked to the transformation into a werewolf. That's what he is most afraid of. But which part? The pain? The lose of self-control? Reliving trauma? All of it?
It's interesting to note that the moon is Remus' Boggart even in a time in which he had access to Wolfsbane (PoA) which means in a time in which he did not experience lose of control (of course it's a possibility that by then it's been ingrained into his mind so there was no simple 'rebooting' it). So maybe it's not the self-control thing? And if it's not and the pain has always been there, does that mean it's always been the moon?
I don't know if it's as easy as that... Because in PoA Remus misses classes for days because of the moon, Wolfsbane and all. We don't know for sure how it has been when he went to school but I personally don't think he was out for that long. Because I can not imagine that no one except for Snape picked up on his absence if he missed days and days every (other) month. But also because of Sirius' (insensitive) 'wish it was full moon' comment. Yes, Sirius can be cruel but I can not imagine him making such a comment if Remus spent a considerable amount in the hospital wing every month. No, we're led to believe the full moons were fun, adventures. Remus tells us so himself and calls them the best times of his life? Now he is obviously lying a bit (because the transformations were still painful even though he now had company and didn't hurt himself anymore and I do believe he was playing it down out of gratitude and guilt towards his friends.. along the lines of 'they already became animagi for me, don't complain about feeling sick now') but isn't there a bit of truth in there still?
So the full moons obviously were still painful but he has company, roamed the grounds with his friends and didn't need as long to bounce back? Is that enough to assume the moon wasn't his Boggart at least through a few 'happy' years?
I honestly don't know. I can see him having a different Boggart in that short period of time between them becoming animagi and the war picking up... I can see it being something about abandonment (which is also the reason he did never say something about them bullying Snape?). And I think it's safe to assume he was aware of that fear (the Snape thing, him looking grateful in that photo on Sirius' walls, his behaviour as an adult even when he continues to defend them..) But I don't know if it's about losing people in the sense of them dying...
His Boggart is still the moon in OotP when he yet again had someone to lose (if not Harry then Sirius - old friends and all..). But maybe by OotP he has realised that he could survive on his own, that, while it wasn't pleasant, he didn't need his friends.
I can also see his Boggart changing after Teddy was born (or, before Teddy was born that he had infected Teddy with lycanthrooy - actually I think that Boggart is very likely), but that is also just speculation.
Long story short: I don't know but I find it interesting to explore and I think there's enough ground to argue in different directions. But I do think as a teenager/young adult it's less about losing his loved ones than his own deep-rooted abandonment fear (being worthless...)
Was Remus' boggart always the moon, or did it only become that when he no longer had to fear losing everyone he loved?
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therealcocoshady · 1 day ago
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Prank gone wrong
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A/N : I recently saw this reel in which someone gives a baby a fake knife and family members freak out and I thought to myself « OMG that would have been such a great idea for that Knife Play Kinktober prompt » 👀. Anyway… I couldn’t resist using it for some Marshall and Lily cute moment 😅. I hope you like it ! ✨💕
It was one of those rare, quiet mornings when Marshall had the house to himself with Lily while you were out with some friends, trying on wedding dresses. The wedding was fast approaching but you had yet to find the gown of your dreams. You had been overwhelmed with the wedding preparations, work and Lily. Your fiancé had offered to look after Lily so that she’d be out of your hair and you could enjoy a relaxing day to yourself. The air was filled with that kind of calm that came with slow sips of coffee, the distant sound of cartoons playing, and Lily’s soft babbling as she toddled around the living room.
Stevie, however, had other plans. When Marshall had introduced you and Lily to her, she had been quite wary but, recently, she had been warming up to Lily a little more. She seemed to find her new little sister’s endless curiosity both annoying and adorable. And, being a typical teenager with a bit of a mischievous streak, she saw a golden opportunity for a prank that would be, as she put it, “hilarious.” So, while Marshall was engrossed in his coffee and a half-hearted attempt to read the morning news, Stevie slipped into the living room, handing Lily something she’d picked up from a novelty shop for some artistic project—a realistic-looking toy knife with a shiny, dull plastic blade that looked disturbingly real at first glance.
With a wide grin, Stevie watched as Lily took the “knife” with both hands, her little eyes lighting up as if she’d just been given the most interesting toy in the world. She toddled into the kitchen, clutching it, her innocent little face beaming as she approached Marshall. When he looked up and saw her holding what looked like a real knife, his heart stopped. “Lily!” he yelped, practically leaping out of his chair, his coffee spilling all over the table as he scrambled to reach her. His face went pale, his mind racing through all the worst possibilities as he lunged forward, carefully taking the “knife” from her tiny hands. Lily blinked up at him, her face full of confusion as she tilted her head, clearly not understanding what all the fuss was about. “Daddy?” she mumbled, her small voice soft and questioning.
Marshall took a deep breath, clutching the toy knife in his hand as he turned and saw Stevie standing in the doorway, grinning from ear to ear. His face tightened, and a flash of anger crossed his eyes. “Stevie,” he said, his voice low and controlled but unmistakably stern, “what on earth were you thinking?” Stevie’s grin faltered slightly, but she shrugged, trying to play it off. “Relax, Dad. It’s just a toy. I thought it’d be funny.” Marshall clenched his jaw, his gaze fixed on her. “Funny? You think it’s funny to give your little sister something that looks like a real knife? Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be, or how it could have freaked her out?” Stevie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms defensively. “It’s not like she was really in danger! I was right here the whole time.”
Marshall took a deep breath, fighting to keep his cool, but his voice was still firm. “Stevie, she’s two. She doesn’t understand the difference between a toy and something that could hurt her. And you know better than to mess around like that.” As his voice rose, Lily’s lip began to tremble, her big eyes filling with tears as she looked up at him, clearly distressed by the sudden tension. She toddled over to Stevie, clutching her sister’s leg and looking up at Marshall with pleading eyes. “Daddy, no!” she whimpered, her voice breaking as she tried to shield her sister.
Marshall’s anger softened instantly as he saw the look on Lily’s face. Her small hands were gripping Stevie’s pants tightly, her little face scrunched up as if she was about to burst into tears. She didn’t understand what was happening, only that her dad was upset with her sister, and that was something she couldn’t bear. Marshall took a deep breath, letting the anger slip away as he knelt down, reaching out to gently pull Lily into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her small body shaking as she let out a heart-wrenching sob, clinging to him as if to make him stop yelling. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Lil,” he whispered, his voice full of regret as he rubbed her back gently. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I scared you. Daddy just got a little worried, that’s all.” Lily sniffled, her head resting against his shoulder as she peeked over at Stevie, her small face still damp with tears. “Daddy… not mat at Stevie,” she mumbled, her voice muffled but full of sincerity.
Marshall felt his heart soften, his frustration melting away as he looked at both of them. Here was his little girl, protecting her big sister, even when she didn’t understand why he’d been upset. He glanced over at Stevie, who looked down, clearly a bit guilty but trying to mask it behind a casual shrug. “Alright,” Marshall said, sighing as he reached out and gently ruffled Stevie’s hair. “I’m not mad anymore. But, Stevie, just… be careful with the jokes, okay? I get it—it was meant to be funny. But let’s keep the pranks a little less, uh, heart-stopping?” Stevie nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips as she reached out, giving Lily’s hand a little squeeze. “Got it, Dad. Sorry about that,” she said, her tone softened with genuine regret.
Lily, sensing the tension was gone, brightened up immediately. She looked up at Stevie, her tears already forgotten as she gave her sister a big, toothy smile, as if nothing had happened at all. Marshall held her close, feeling a mixture of gratitude and affection. Watching Lily defend her sister, even in her tiny way, reminded him of just how much she adored Stevie, even if their bond had been a bit rocky at first. Stevie hadn’t been Lily’s biggest fan in the beginning, but now, it was clear that they’d formed something special, something that only siblings could share. As he sat down on the couch with Lily still snuggled in his arms, Stevie plopped down next to them, giving her dad a small, teasing smile. “You’ve gotta admit, though, Dad, your face was priceless.” Marshall chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook that easy.”
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traegorn · 2 days ago
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hi! this is a loaded question but you're a voice i really appreciate. genuinely thank you for keeping calm and moving forward.
i was wondering: why does the left seem to have less "loyalty" to their biggest political party? i'm not trying to say we should be doing this, but the contrast between us and the right is so interesting to me. trump's numbers are generally similar to what they were, with some decrease. just personally, i know so many people who voted for trump despite assuring me that they dislike him, because his vision of america is apparently closer to what they want. and these are not maga, #get-rid-of-all-immigrants type people. they're moderate, in their own words. this has been consistent for the past few years; obviously i'm not a perfect representation, but i do meet a lot of people because of the nature of my job (and generally check in with them again after some time has passed), and this hasn't wavered.
there's a level of "will vote republican even if i hate it and am embarrassed by some of their stances" that i don't think many democrats have? maybe it's just the social media bubble but to me it feels like democrats struggle everyday to maintain the people they have. even some good legislative successes seem to be quickly followed by "ok but that's not enough", and when there are issues because of conservative control, even then democrats are blamed for. i guess. not having power and not blocking this?
or maybe you disagree entirely! just wanted to know your thoughts.
The answer is more obvious than you realize:
The right wing is built on authoritarianism, and authoritarians are more likely to fall in line with what they've been told.
That's it. It's really that simple.
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imaginespazzi · 2 days ago
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First game of the season down (guys it's literally March Madness already) and as per usual I have thoughts for the three people who actually read my long ramblings tee hee :)
SARAH. STRONG.
JANA. EL. ALFY.
That's it those are my thoughts. MY POST DUO IS GONNA LEAD US TO THE FUCKING NATTY YOU GUYS.
But to expand a little more, I thought I was impressed by Sarah at the exhibition but oh my god I'm something more than impressed tonight. She just doesn't look like a freshman. Beyond just being naturally good at the sport, she's just so insanely smart, and watching her play is just beautiful.
My Egyptian queen, the 8th wonder of the world. A DOUBLE-DOUBLE OFF THE BENCH. And guess what, she's only gonna get better. Listen it's an exhibition and no one matched her size and so it'll be interesting to see what she does against real competition but like I always say hustle translate and Jana has plenty of it.
Paige Bueckers statsheet stuffer extraordinaire strikes again. As per usual she did a little bit of everything to lead this team to success. If I have to deal with the Passive P narrative every time (especially because it's an inherently flawed narrative that one day I will do a proper rant on) she doesn't score 40, I might lose my mind. And honestly expecting her to tire herself out with that aggression in games like this is simply not worth it.
Kaitlyn and Ashlynn both did what they were supposed to do. Again, the competition was mediocre and they played like good players on the better team. I do think Kaitlyn should have more than 3 shots in a game but again this game isn't a great indicator. Ash disappeared a little in the 2nd half but again not a great indicator and I really liked the 3 steals so hopefully that is an indication of steady growth on defense.
KK BLOCK!!! We love to see it. She looked really aggressive out there and I think she's going to be a really good spark off the bench for us.
Ice played okay but it's a really simple math thing here. 17 and 11 vs 4 and 2 like it's really just common sense. She also makes some really questionable decisions sometimes and the finishing wasn't great. Experience is a good thing but the numbers are what they are and I think it's pretty self-explanatory who should be starting.
Morgan and Allie are shooters and I love to see it. Girlies did what they were supposed to do and hopefully they get substantial minutes against real competition as well.
My more general thought about the game is that it was basically a tale of two halves. First half UConn was great and that team is a very complete team who has a very high ceiling. Second half UConn, but more specifically that third quarter UConn, well that was the same team we saw in the exhibition. Again, this is a new team and it will take time put a perfect 40 minutes together. But scoring droughts like that should not be happening against a team like BU and they absolutely cannot happen against better competition.
ALSO LAYUPS UCONN PLEASE
Azzi and Aubrey both participated in warmups and it's like sunshine and rainbows in my mind :)
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monophobix · 21 hours ago
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INITIAL THOUGHTS ON ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT 1 (EPISODES 1-3)
(i’m not good at putting my thoughts into words so feel free to give your own opinions, i rlly wanna hear them)
SPOILERS AHEAD///
ok so my biggest critique is the pacing. everything is very quick very fast and a lot is going on. i understand that this is immediately after a large event which of course caused a reaction however it was just very intense and a lot to keep up with especially considering the amount of new and confusing things introduced throughout the three episodes with minimal slow down. it was alittle difficult to keep up. the timeline of the show is confusing and i have no idea how long it has been between scenes. viktor was barely in that weird healing chamber for a few scenes before he was emerging as someone new. caitlyn and vi were going from loving to fighting to understanding to fighting again very quickly with little time to develop independently, their kiss and divorce weren’t even 30 minutes apart from each other. also, who the fuck is this kid hanging around with jinx?? why is she following her, why doesn’t she talk, what’s her name, how long has she been with her?? this lack of time to let things develop has caused these episodes to feel rushed.
with this introduction of many new things some have left me with a lot of questions. my biggest issue revolves around the arcane. i literally do not recall it being mentioned or being an important topic in s1 but all of a sudden jayce knows a fuck ton about it as well as heimerdinger? when did he learn this? i assume it’s from viktors notes and research but that still fails to cover the amount of knowledge jayce now possesses.
HOWEVER THE ARCANE IS VERY COOL AND IM VERY VERY INVESTED. i absolutely love the changes to viktor, his weird apathy and changes are definitely rushed but so interesting to see, his design and behaviour are so very compelling and im very excited to see the development. additionally, this group dynamic between jayce, ekko and heimerdinger is soooooo fun. it offers a break from the intensity with some silliness i think is desperately needed, plus it’s super satisfying to see the trio bounce off each other. that final scene of them in ep3 was visually incredible and i loved seeing the effects upon the hextech weapons during the jinx, sevika vs vi, caitlyn fight. the scene of viktor amongst the shimmer infected was very interesting and it was so cool to truly see the severe effects of shimmer and the inhumanity of viktor is making a clear route towards his glorious evolution which is am keen to watch.
that ambessa reveal at the end was INCREDIBLE. i genuinely didn’t see it coming and it made my jaw DROP. the quiet, smart suspicion from mel is always incredible to see, her political mind and morals conflicting is so very engaging and she’s really developing into herself in these episodes which was a joy to witness. the mystery of her brother is compelling and links well through s1 and s2 to make the storyline fun to follow. i also simply must compliment the designs revolving around the noxians and animal-esque (sorry idk what they’re called) people. the absolute variety and inspiration from real life cultures is beautiful to see. i am incredibly confused about the magic and that one lady (amara?) but i assume that’ll be answered in later episodes.
jinx is not looking good lmao. i love her design being so corpse-like and deathly, it really fits well and really embraces the differences between powder and jinx. but i do wish we saw more of her. i see her actions but i lack understanding for some of them, primarily revolving around the child (isha?) and why the kids even there but the newfound bond between sevika and jinx is refreshing to see. the scene of them in silcos old office brought a smile to my face and the design of that fucking arm is soooo cool i love the clownish purely jinx vibe to it.
caitlyn is probably the stand out character so far (plus maybe viktor). her absolute grief and seeing her facade break down throughout the episodes was heartbreaking, the tentative yet conflicting moments of softness with vi were beautiful yet had that perfect undercurrent of tragedy that arcane masters so well. her rage and break up with vi was easy to see coming yet so incredibly jarring to watch, that harsh and merciless behaviour is so different from s1, the development is well done and a morbid pleasure to see. and that final episode. oh my. the shock to acceptance of darkness was fantastic, ambessa truly is a master at manipulating weakness in even the strongest of people and seeing this duo is going to be so soul crushing that i’m itching for more.
vi felt very rushed to me and alittle dry? idk why tho i can’t really explain it. i understand her choices but it felt like something was missing until that final scene with cait. that was an absolute masterpiece. seeing her realising that the horrors of war is corrupting everyone around her and pleading for it to please not happen is so so SO fucking sad and my heart was breaking. i loved seeing her moral strength and solidity to her values which has always been a key part of her character so i appreciate the consistency. idk why something about her was just… different.
the opening scene was incredible. the absolute horror of it was so clear and i was literally shaking the entire time. 10/10 opening.
overall, i hope things slow down alittle but i greatly enjoyed season 2 and im very excited to see the characters develop and to see even more of this beautiful world.
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weltraum-vaquero · 1 day ago
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Swan song
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Professor Viktor x TA Reader
[PART 1]。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆[PART 2] ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆[PART 3] (coming soon)
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆[AO3 link] ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。
Summary: You’re a bright phD student who won’t shy away from a challenge. Getting the most notorious professor at the University of Piltover to hire you as his assistant is one of them.
Tags: Modern AU, SFW (for now…), DILF professor Viktor, romanticizing and eroticizing borsht, lab shenanigans, reader being filled with equal parts shame and lust
Word count: 7.8k
Notice: This fic is written with a transmasculine reader in mind, but that won’t come into play at all until the final third chapter of this mini-series.
Notes: A little something something while we await season two ;] The draft for this post deleted itself twice now. If the formatting looks wonky (especially in the texting section), NO, it doesn't. Shut up.
He didn’t lie. 
Which is all the more shocking, considering you attend his 8AM lecture on the very same day, and he seems more bright and alight than you’ve ever seen him.
When did he find the time?
Though there isn’t a daunting amount to your thesis just yet, you still want to believe you’ve written something quite substantial over the past months. 
You toss one glance around yourself before you follow him into his office after his lecture, and you find the stack of papers you’d left on his desk last night looking positively devoured, in the most… academic way possible. Scribbles and notes litter the margins, the edges of the papers are already somehow lightly worn. 
He must have read it multiple times.
“Coffee?” He offers.
“Yes, please.”
As he gropes the machine in search of its switch again, he cocks his brow at you. “And what was that for?”
You frown. “What was what for?”
“That… glance, before you followed me into my office.” The switch clicks, the light comes on. “Looking around like you were being followed.”
“Oh,” caught in the embarrassing act, you shrug. “I don’t know. Being cautious, I guess. Students have been looking at me a little funny, lately.”
“Much too late for caution, I’m afraid.” 
Uh oh. 
As he retrieves two paper cups, you’re left wondering what exactly that should mean.
“Why’s that?”
“I thought you were well aware of the fact that rumors would start, um… circulating the moment I made it public that I had hired an assistant.” Coffee trickles into the cups, a soothing little melody. Viktor leans against the wall beside the machine as he watches the cups fill.  “I’ve always been adamant about not needing one. It is natural for people to have questions — and to come up with, eh, answers — when I suddenly do.”
The notion of the answers students might have come up with swirls around in your brain. 
You wish they were right.
You’re glad they’re not.
You look at Viktor.
“Do you mind it?”
The coffee stops pouring. Viktor does that thing again, spreading long fingers apart to grasp both cups. And he’s quiet — for a beat longer than he should be.
“No. There are more important things to worry about than… gossip.” He sets the cups on the table, then takes his seat. He hesitates for a brief second, craning his neck before he fixates on you, motionless. Waiting. “Do you?”
“Trying not to.”
The answer makes him… deflate, somehow. It’s barely visible, for just a fraction of a second his chest sinks, before his tone is back to his composed cadence.
“You will get used to it,” he assures. “Now, onto more interesting matters — your work.”
Thank god. You don’t know how much more of the awkward tiptoeing you could have handled.
“Yes.” Your heart leaps into your throat. Acting normal has never been so difficult. “What did you think?”
“Very impressive.” He slides the stack of papers towards you. “I have made some… suggestions here and there, should you wish to take them into consideration. But, I think you struck gold with your hypothesis. Should you need a conversation partner, guidance, anything at all — I would gladly be at your service.”
“Thank you, Viktor. I really appreciate this.”
At the sound of his own name coming from you, something in him shifts. Shifts with an unfamiliar near bashfulness, he stifles a little smile into the rim of his paper cup, the corners of his eyes crinkle, he settles into his seat a little further.
“But you never held up your end of the bargain,” you point out. That snaps him out of it.
“Ah, yes. I did not.” He continues to hide behind his cup, before he finally seems to decide to take a metaphorical leap, as he sets it down and stares down at it. “I fear the unfortunate truth may be that when it comes to research, I either work better with a partner, or that… Cecil is right and I need to slow down. Though I’d guess the former is more likely.”
“You used to work with, uh…” you’re not sure how to approach the topic, “Talis, didn’t you?”
“The five basic principles of applied arcanism are commonly referred to as Talis’ princies, you do not have to feign uncertainty to appease me.”
So you drop the attempt to tiptoe around the subject, and ask, plainly:
“Why wasn’t your name added on?”
Viktor scoffs. “Talis-Sidorov-Sviboda has a terrible ring to it. Or so he’d said. And admittedly… I was more of a conduit than the co-author of his idea. He said we would name the next big thing we would discover after me, but… well, you know how it is. I dedicated myself to teaching, he retired to lead a quiet life in his gaudy mansion with his sports cars and his purebred German shepherds after he married some businesswoman.”
Though his story does line up, those aren’t necessarily the rumors you’d heard. There’d been talk of more than just a mild dispute of names, and… well, there had been… something between Talis and Viktor. But that’s about all you know.
Under your gaze, Viktor grows suddenly uncomfortable — both with the subject and the fact that he might be able to tell you know more. He’s quick to redirect the conversation.
“As for my research: I have been studying the laminal hexoin cascade in stabilized hexgems in various matrices. And though bold, I have been attempting to figure out the ideal matrix — something that will allow for close to a hundred percent energy renewal and render all other sources of energy obsolete.”
”That is bold,” you say. Your other thought, you keep to yourself: it also sounds impossible. You suppose stabilizing hexgems 20 years ago was also something thought impossible — and yet, Viktor hadn’t shied away. If anyone is apt for the job, it is him. “Any luck so far?”
“Partially. They have been yielding favorable results, but not enough to be viable energetic alternatives as of now.” He takes his cup again, bringing it to his lips in a rushed movement, drinking a mouthful, rather than a sip. Once Viktor sets it down, his hand remains on the table, fingers tapping on the shiny surface once, twice— “I could use a theorist to assist me with a few things.”
The implication dizzies you. Is he…?
But then he slides another one of his drawers open, and retrieves a stack of papers. Slanted handwriting, barely legible — you’re by now intimately familiar with it: his cursive. It litters the pages, in different inks and in pencil, diagrams, sketches… just looking at it makes you hungry to read it.
He smiles as if he’s read your mind, again.
“I was thinking it could be you.”
You’re invited to his office for lunch break the very next day too. And though he assures you there is no pressure in having to read through his notes by then, you disregard it.
It takes you a reread to be able to make sense of all his scribbles, but… it’s brilliant. He’s brilliant. 
It should stop surprising you by now — his ideas, his drive, his curiosity, his mind — but with every single time Vikror impresses you anew, he becomes something more distant.
As you’re marveling at his intricate weaving of concepts, it strikes you, unpleasantly, that this is the same man you’d wanted to devour just days ago. The man who’s made you coffee, the man whose sharp eyes fold at the corners when he smiles. 
You’d have deified him, had he been your teacher. You still do, especially now, after you’ve seen more of what his mind is made of. The mere notion of him becomes terribly out of reach, and you’re plagued with guilt for that night. Guilt for having tainted such a man with your thoughts. 
And yet, you still can’t help but think of his neck, the soft pink of his chapped lips, the hollow of his cheeks. You wonder what his mouth tastes like, and you want to slap yourself on the wrist for it. You should have, because minutes later, you wonder about worse things too. The scent of his skin, the coarseness of his body hair, how far up under his navel it might reach.
And when you finish reading his notes a second time and bring the paper to your nose to sniff it — hoping for a trace of him — you realize you have a problem. A serious one.
It torments you for the rest of the night, through the hours you spend writing up some suggestions and ideas, all the way to when you switch off the light, and hug whatever pillow’s within reach close.
When you get the urge to tilt your hips against it, you decide to get up and splash your face with water.
And you wish you could do the same thing the very next day on your lunch break, when you’re standing in the doorway of his office and he’s eating borscht. The sweet-tangy smell of vegetables, beef and beets makes your stomach growl, but your physical hunger is long lost on your otherwise preoccupied brain.
The beet red of the soup has pigmented his lips. They look kissed raw, puffy, ripe. A lavish speck of colour on his otherwise pale face, it draws your gaze and does not let it stay somewhere more respectful.
You want to taste them.
He does it for you, raspberry pink tip of his tongue darting over the plush of his lips before he swallows and finally greets you.
“Sorry,” you say, and it comes out tense, near horrified. You’ve caught him eating soup, for chrissakes, not being bent over his table. Oh, god. Why did you have to think about that? ”I’ll come back later.”
“No,” Viktor gestures to the empty seat across from him. He screws his thermos shut, and puts it away. “Please, I’ve been waiting for you. Sit.”
And you do, like the dog you feel like you are right now.
“Did you manage to find the time to read my notes?”
Oh, did you.
“I… followed your example and made some suggestions of my own. But on separate pages. Here.”
His reaction is more than what you’d hoped for. It’s more than the impressed raise of thick brows that had kept you fueled last night, it’s more than the smile you’d been hoping for. 
“You are unbelievable,” he grins, and takes what you offer, pushing his glasses up his nose before he starts reading. You selfishly use the distraction to stare at his lips again. He mutters to himself as he reads, pink mouth molding around whispered jargon, nodding. “Yes, this… this is exactly what I’d hoped for, when I’d asked for your assistance. Your fresh set of eyes is invaluable. I hadn’t thought of approaching the modification from that angle.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
He doesn’t take his eyes off the page for even just a moment, flipping it surprisingly fast, and taking it with him as he leans back in his seat. 
And decides to torture you.
Viktor traces the pad of his own thumb over the curve of his bottom lip as he takes in your handwriting. The give of the flesh under his fingertip hypnotizes, the slight drag of rough skin on soft pink one, your mind is long gone.
You think of rough fingertips on his lips, on his chest, rough fingertips on the pasty white of his gaunt lower stomach, rough fingertips in coarse hair. Rough fingertips dipping between his milky thighs, rough fingertips on where he runs just as pink as he does on his lips, rough fingertips dipping, slipping on slick skin—
You need to stop.
And you most certainly need help.
“Is something the matter?”
It feels like you’ve swallowed your own brain whole when he speaks, because your skull rings hollow when you try to come up with a reply that isn’t incoherent babble.
“Wh— me? No. Why?”
And because embarrassment loves to stick around once it has made its presence known, the stars align for the next social disaster: your stomach growls. Loudly.
“Did you not have lunch?” Viktor asks.
“I… didn’t get around to it,” you admit.
“I won’t take up too much of your time, then,” he assures. If he knew just how much of your time he’s started taking up — and the fact that you wish you could give him what is left of it to him, too.  “I would like you to work alongside me on my research. But if you don’t feel like you can squeeze another project into your presumably busy schedule, I understand. I would be glad to have you merely as… a colleague to consult with, as well.”
Is that even a question? He’s offering you the opportunity of a lifetime. You would be an idiot not take it. 
And an even bigger idiot to turn down more time spent with him.
“You don’t even have to ask,” you joke. “Yes. I would be thrilled, Viktor.”
This is his first smile you witness when his pretty boyishness doesn’t shine through. It’s a gentle quirk of his lips, no teeth to be seen, just tenderness. It makes your heart leap to be the cause of it.
“Thank you,” he says.
“Thank you.”
Silence.
Just as you’re about to breach it — he does it first.
“Would you be free for lunch tomorrow as well?”
He watches you from below long, dark lashes as you give a breathless yes.
“I brought you something.”
It’s the last thing you expect as you step into his office at noon, upon exchanging hellos.
You’re alight. With curiosity, above all else. And with worry — why would he bring you something? What will you do to reciprocate? 
“Thank you,” you say, though you have no idea what for just yet. “What is it?”
“I saw you eyeing my borscht yesterday.” There’s a glint in his eye that suggests more, so much so you can’t decide between flirting or digging a hole for yourself in the hardwood floor of his office. 
The middle ground is standing in his office awkwardly as he unzips his backpack.
He retrieves two thermos bottles: the one you’re already familiar with, and another that looks older, more worn, and sorely lacks the sticker you’ve so come to love and fixate on and dream about. “I, eh, I made you some. In case you wouldn’t get the chance to eat before you came here.”
Your chest swells so much it hurts. 
He made you soup?
“You… Viktor, this is… thank you. You shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to. Have a seat.”
You practically jump into the seat across the table from his — a seat you’ve come to associate as yours, in spite of being well aware of the oppisite.
As he screws the bottle open and pours some steaming soup out into a paper bowl — god, he’d brought paper bowls — his eyes flick to you.
“But if you don’t care for borscht, you don’t have to—“
“I do care.”
And that rings true not just for the borscht.
It rings true for the soup he brings you the next day too, it rings true for every word that passes his lips. And it rings true for the time you start to spend in the insane coffee shop queue to surprise him with his preferred order and a slice of cake (a different one each day, until you figure out his favorite: cinnamon coffee), it rings true for the dark blue roughed up thermos he lets you take home the day you don’t finish the soup he brings you because you’re just so busy talking.
It’s November before you know it.
As the days grow colder, it’s not rare to be finding warmth by lavishing in Viktor’s attention as you ramble on about ideas — either for his research, or your thesis. All while he intently follows your thoughts with a smile, stopping just to shave another mouth-half-full’s worth off his cake of the day with his plastic spoon.
And once he savors the last bite, Viktor almost always flips it hollow side down, sliding it down the swell of his tongue within his mouth, removing it from between puckered lips. His cheeks hollow, he holds eye contact all the same, and it’s a mental image that haunts you. A mental image you project in your mind, nestled between the apex of your thighs. The thick of his tongue. The cushiony seal of his lips, the suction of his cheeks. 
It never becomes any less distracting than the first time it happens. 
You startle when Viktor speaks as he sets down the plastic spoon into the now empty packaging. 
“I would like you to accompany me to the lab sometime soon. When would you be free?”
You’ve been before — but just a handful of times. Mainly for him to demonstrate or disprove certain guesses, or test conclusions you’d reached together. 
“I’m free right now,” you suggest.
Viktor shakes his head. “I have a lecture in an hour.”
Right. 
“I mean… I think we could make it in an hour.”
“I prefer to take my time.” Viktor leans back in his seat, stares thoughtfully at the clock on his wall for a moment. “Would seven PM work for you?”
“Uh…” you mentally go through your schedule for the day, “yes. It should. I might be a little late, though. How about… seven fifteen-ish?”
“Good.” The flow of the word is syrupy, yet his next sentence comes out surprisingly peppy with excitement: “See you then.”
Though you’re well into the final week of November, it never stops bothering you just how quickly the sun sets. By the time you get to the lab, the air’s gone cold, dry, and the darkness is heavy and thick.
Viktor waits for you just outside the university lab, under the halo of the street light — perhaps just a hint overdressed for the cold, in your opinion. It’s certainly trench coat season, though his is surprisingly long, reaching somewhere along the middle of his shins. The hand he hasn’t tucked in his pocket holds his cane and is clad in a leather glove. Around his lengthy neck, a red knitted scarf lays in chunky, impenetrable layers, reaching almost all the way to the swell of his top lip and his ears. You can hardly see his smile from underneath when he spots you — but his eyes give him away. 
“Right on time,” Viktor’s tone has just as much pep to it as a few hours ago, perhaps even moreso. He rolls his shoulders, before he subtly nuzzles further down into his scarf, shying away from the biting cold. “Let’s get inside.”
He leads the way into the building, its warmth embracing you the moment you step in. The tip of your nose and your fingertips feel like they’re beginning to thaw, tingling just a hint. As you go to take off your coat, you notice Viktor isn’t in a rush. He rests his cane against the wall before he unwraps the thick, wide scarf from around his neck, folding it. He sets it on a nearby table, shucking off his trench coat, slender shoulders under a wool sweater. You watch closely as he then takes his scarf and stuffs it into the sleeve of his coat before he hangs it up. 
There’s something stiff, painful, about how he moves. You wonder if it’s the cold.
“What?” He watches you with appeased amusement.
Caught red-handed, you jump, still halfway clad in your coat.
“Nothing,” you reply, scraping for a way to deflect from your obvious staring. “Not a big fan of the cold?”
“Never.” He says it like it’s a very serious matter. “I still don’t know how I made it through my first eighteen winters in St. Petersburg.”
“You grew up in Russia?”
He laughs through his nose like you’ve told him a half good joke. “What gave it away? The accent? The surname?”
“No, I just thought… Svoboda is a Czech surname.”
With how his smile turns knowing, self-satisfied, you’re suddenly back in his office again, uncertain and nervous and asking for a job as his assistant. He could taunt you with the knowledge that you’ve looked up his last name, embarrass you a little, play with you.
But he isn’t that man anymore — not to you. This time, he feeds your curiosity, albeit just with crumbs.
“My mother’s,” he clarifies. “Sidorov is Russian — my father’s.”
Oh.
“It’s nice that they used both their names. I’m assuming that wasn’t… common, back then, and back there.”
“It wasn’t, and they did not.” Viktor waits for you to hang up your coat, watchful gaze making your every movement feel loaded with static that’s about to snap. “I added hers when I changed my name.”
Changed his name?
The image of the sticker on his thermos turns up fresh in your mind, and you can’t help but wonder…
“Well? I was hoping we could discuss more in the lab, but if you prefer the coat hanger…”
Goddamn it. Focus. You need to focus.
“Sorry.”
You catch up, then slowly follow Viktor down the hallway, into the small lab he has been assigned. It’s one of the less grand ones, but it has all it needs — from a pretty new hexion accelerator to a humble whiteboard. It smells sanitized, sterile, ozonic.
You assume your usual seat by the whiteboard while he sets up. It still doesn’t feel… right to let him do all of that by himself, but he insists upon it, so, you stay out of his way. Viktor tidies up the space just a little, finding his goggles among the mess. He slips them onto his head, elastic pulling back his soft hair into a fluffy grey and brown mess. His cane thumps against the linoleum with every hurried step — though he doesn’t seem to be hurrying on account of you being there as much as excitement to show you.
Once he’s done, he sits in front of the accelerator, slipping his goggles on, and nods for you to come. Which you do — you’d be at his beck and call beyond just the academic context. For a moment, you pluck the inviting tilt of his head and the quirk of his lips out of their context, and you plant it atop your own bed, him in just a loose shirt, underwear, lax with freshly received pleasure. More comfortable than he’s ever been, all because of you. Beckoning for you. Come here. Smiling at you when your knee dips into the mattress, tucking his index under your chin as you crawl to him, reeling you in for a kiss.
“Come closer.”
God help you.
You comply with a wildly beating heart, stepping forward until you’re close behind his sitting form, watching the accelerator over his shoulder. 
He smells nice. Like an indistinct, aromatic cologne, covering up the natural, gentle musk of his skin. You have to resist the urge to dip your head down and trace the tip of your nose along his spine, from where the bones of his neck show to where the scruff at the back of his head goes thicker, fuller. You wonder if he’d shiver as you let the scent of him imbue you… you wonder if he’d lean into it, if he’d tilt his head for you, let you dip your face into the slope of his shoulder, where his scent’s more potent.
The mere thought of him, vivid in your nostrils and clinging to your palate and the floor of your brain, rattles you with a shiver.
“I thought I’d rather show you than tell you,” he explains, wrapping both pale, bony hands around the handles of the accelerator. Steam hisses from the exhaust, flooding the room with more ozone, and gently, but certainly, the gem starts to spin behind the glass panel, beginning to levitate out of its socket, illuminating the room. 
God, you should have put on goggles too, it’s making your eyes hurt. It’s a welcome reminder as to why you chose to spend most your days staring down a blackboard rather than the thing itself. The screen right above it is more of a familiar sight to you: numbers, reading the rotations per minute, as well as energetic output, steadily increasing. 
It whirrs, magic static whirling up around the blue orb, electricity crackles. 
You can see the appeal of this over a blackboard. But you’d still take the chalk. Especially considering the deafening noise. 
Nevermind the damn goggles. You need to remember to bring some ear plugs.
“Watch the panel.” Viktor raises his voice over the hum of the machine, and turns to you, watching you from behind foggy lenses with a smile. You wish you could see the way his crow’s feet deepen. It rumbles harder, so much so Viktor almost has to shout the next thing he says, which is a shame, because his usually playful lilt is lost in the noise of it. “Not to… spoil the outcome of this experiment for you, but I implemented the conclusions we came to last week, and, it is safe to say…”
With a well-timed click and tug on a lever, the machine disengages, and the gem drops back into its socket under the influence of gravity. Its violating light returns to a faint, blue glow, like an artificially lit aquarium; fluctuating and undulating gently in its intensity. The potential energy indicator’s numbers climb back up, steadily, but faster than what you’ve seen before. 
Much faster.
You can’t help but grin with excitement. “It’s regenerating fast.”
Viktor smirks at you over his shoulder like you’re sharing a sacred, intimate inside joke. 
“It is.“
You await the verdict with a bated breath.
“How much?”
Viktor’s smile only grows, like he’s about to give you a present. And, all things considered, this is going to be one, in months’ or maybe even years’ time.
“A thirty-seven percent recovery after usage within an hour.” Viktor spins in the lab stool to face you with the theatrical self-satisfaction of a magician who just sawed his assistant in half and is waiting for the applause. You nearly forget to step back to give him the space for it, so much so your knees knock together. But there is no chance for you to apologize, Viktor is unbothered, sliding the goggles up his forehead enthusiastically, his show of complacency ditched in favor of pure excitement. “That is more than I’ve ever achieved thus far. Thanks to y—” 
His voice sticks in his throat, turning into a pained hiss.
His hair’s tangled in his goggles.
“Oh, wonderful,” he grits out sarcastically. 
A frustrated half-sigh half-groan rumbles in his chest as he pulls again and only makes things worse.
“Could you get me a pair of scissors? I should have some in the third drawer over there.”
“Wait. At least let me try first,” you insist. Reluctantly, you step closer, and after a moment’s hesitation, Viktor lowers his head for better access like a feral animal letting itself be pet for the first time. He sits still, the sound of both your breaths suddenly loud in the tall, quiet room as you’re forced to step even closer. “Could you…”
You nudge his ankles apart with the tip of your shoe.
He listens.
After a stuttering, fragile exhale, Viktor spreads his thighs. 
You take the space offered. And you try not to think about kneeling, about making a home for yourself between his thighs.
“Do you think you can do it?”
You wish he’d asked you that about any number of things, except for the goggles tangled in his feathery, soft hair.
But yes. You think you do.
It would have been a terrible shame to cut it — though some shorter, bluntly cut hairs that sit a little further back near the top of his head tell you his suggestion was not the product of a new idea. Carefully, you pull whatever hairs are looser from between the lens and the bridge of the goggles, though a strand remains stubborn. 
You try to ignore the warmth of his breath on your shirt, the intoxicating, soapy, yet distinctively human smell of his scalp, and the mesmerizing ratio of grey to dark brown, the subtle heat on the sides of your palms and wrists, resting on his head for stability.
As you separate another few hairs from the stuck strand and accidentally tug at them, Viktor has no reaction. Beyond swallowing thickly, and sitting through it dutifully. 
You wonder if he’d act just the same, had you bunched his hair into the spaces between your fingers and tugged — simply biting his tongue and chewing through the pain — or if he’s leaned into the force, moaning with it, and god, you’ve hurt him, and you haven’t even apologized.
“Sorry.” You sound twice as genuine — mainly because you apologize for much worse than the inflicted pain. “Almost done.”
“The scissors would have been faster,” he half-jokes.
His voice sounds different. A hint more… strained. He shifts in the seat, wipes his hands on his slacks.
“Would have been a shame, though. You have pretty hair.” The last part of the sentence positively escapes you, and once you hear it, you freeze. Your brain scrambles itself trying to add something that will fix the inherent following awkwardness, the horrifying realization you just called your boss pretty, the fact that it’s true, the fact that—
Viktor flinches with another accidental tug of his hair, and so do his thighs — jumping with the surprise, clenching together until they squeeze around yours. But they’re gone just as fast, flinching away with horrified urgency. Before you get to savor the supple flesh pressing into your own in another new perverted way, before you get to imagine his ankles locking behind you, tilting and rubbing your hips into the hug of his thighs.
You need. To get. A grip.
“Sorry.”
You continue on in silence, and thank everything above he at the very least can’t see the way your hands shake, because he’s staring at the floor like he could drill a hole into it with just his eyes. 
You should have gotten the damn scissors. As if through divine intervention, the rest of his hair comes loose not soon after.
“Okay. All done.” You smooth the slightly crinkled, but now free strand back down into the rest of his soft hair. 
Viktor’s dainty features come into view from below his face framing pieces as he tilts his chin up. His lips quirk into a gentle smile, his eyes sparkle in the faint blue glow, soft shadows under the hollow of his cheeks and the swell of his lip and the tip of his nose and the bone of his brow. You wish you could immortalize him in whatever way he’d let you — a sculpture, a painting, a poem. He looks ripe for kissing, eyes half-lidded and twice as dreamy as he peers at you.
You’re going to see him like this in your mind’s eye later tonight.
Nestled between your thighs, or kissing down your stomach, molten gold under long, dark lashes, sitting atop carved marbled bone.
“Thank you.” He says it quietly — like it would break the sudden holiness of the moment to say it any other way.
He’s so warm. 
You could kiss him. See what the ozone of the room tastes like in the slick of his mouth. You wonder if he’d let you, if he’d suckle your tongue into his mouth in a show of submission, or if he’d bite your lip, licking your teeth, pressing, pushing, make you earn the privilege to taste him. 
You wonder if he’d hold you, or if his curious hands would roam, tracing the front of your stomach, or your spine, or press to the middle of your breastbone like he wants to see where you’d split open for him down the middle like a ripe peach. You wonder if he’d let you dip a hand down the front of his slacks, you wonder if he’d tilt his hips into it like he’d been aching for it, aching for you. Scorching your hand with want, materialized in slick or straining hardness. You wonder which it’d be.
From where you’re standing, the distance between the apex of his chin and the space where his slacks stretch between his thighs is small — and your gaze takes the leap, searching. But the material dips and curves in such a way that you’re left none the wiser, and with nothing but a disgusting realization.
You’re staring at your boss’ crotch.
You step back from the heat between his thighs, painfully awake, aware. It squeezes and wriggles in your chest like you have a parasite lodged in the chambers of your heart. 
You’re disgusting.
You need to put an end to this.
“You’re welcome, professor.”
With that, you’re practically bolting from between his thighs, to stash the scissors away again.
You’re neglecting your job, you’re putting it in jeopardy. Putting yourself in jeopardy, risking all the rumors circulating becoming a shameful truth, you’re risking the first man who ever kept up with you, followed you where you wanted to go and took you further — you’re risking it all because he makes you unbelievably fucking horny. 
And it’s absurd. Embarrassing. You need to get a hold of yourself. 
“I was… thinking, actually,” you begin, and want to punch yourself over how Viktor perks back up from where you’d left him. “About some things regarding my thesis that I’d like your thoughts on.”
“Oh. Of course.” You have got to be imagining the subtle disappointment in his tone. The second you let yourself believe it’s more than just a figment of your make-believe, is the second you will be doomed. 
Viktor, with all his years and experience, would and does know better than to fall for his assistant. You know he does.
“What’s on your mind?” He prompts after your prolonged silence.
If he knew the half of it.
You’re late.
And it’s a direct, shameful consequence of last night’s lusting, the time you’d spent frustratedly tossing and turning and thinking of his mouth and his eyes and his scent, before you’d given in past midnight, and humped your hand into completion.
Thinking about him under you, about pressing your face into his neck, about pressing him into the mattress and rutting into him until he gushes and his tired body sings for you and his voice cracks. Until he breaks for you, until pleasure itself oils and unscrews all the biological cogs of his body and he comes out unstrung, reborn.
Viktor’s in a wheelchair. 
And he looks worse for wear than you’ve ever encountered him before, slumping in the chair and massaging his eyelids with his thumb and index, seemingly gathering his thoughts. He’s dressed even warmer than usual, in a loose but thick, dark red sweater. There’s a colorful knitted blanket folded and set over the tops of his thighs. 
Viktor doesn’t acknowledge you when you come in and sit near the whiteboard, simply resumes his lecture as he regains his mental footing. And he goes on for a while, not sparing you a single glance, as he goes through powerpoint slides today, instead of his usual writing and hand drawn diagrams. 
He’s at it for a while, not as fast as his usual pace, but undeniably concise, certain. Until…
“The energy output increases proportionately to the spin, and, with powerful enough matrices, some hexgems can create force fields of their own. This is a particularly common phenomenon in unstabilized gems as well, though with the activation of their force field, those tend to also create… eh…”
Viktor stops, sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose. He frowns, mumbling something in another language, which, judging by the heavy consonants and squeezed vowel, you’d assume it’s Russian. The word must be slipping his mind, so you decide to help out.
“A shock wave.”
Viktor’s gaze cuts. He’s looked at you with disinterest before, sure, but this… 
He doesn’t even turn his head to look at you, just eyes you from the corner of his vision like something unworthy of acknowledgment. You wish you could swallow your words back up.
“Yes,” he says. “Thank you. A shock wave.”
You don’t say anything again for the rest of the lecture. 
Once the door falls shut behind the last few students who have left the room, Viktor turns to you. You wish you could shrink; and it feels like you do, when he finally speaks.
“I appreciate your intention to help — but do not interrupt me again. I know what I’m trying to say.” He sounds utterly unlike himself, both spent and angry. “I don’t need help. Especially not in the middle of a lecture.”
“Sorry.”
That alone softens him up a hint. He looks away, rubbing his thumbs against the wheels of his chair, before he speaks again. Calmer. 
“Just… do not let it happen again.”
As he slumps in his seat, massaging at his temples, you understand that his anger… might not have been as directed at you as you’d initially thought. He’d been snippy when his back hurt — having switched to a wheelchair must mean he’s in a lot more pain now.
And you understand his frustration. He’d just gotten himself an assistant a few months back, and started a new project — looking like he requires help in front of his students is certainly not doing his reputation right now any favors. 
“But if there’s other things I can do to make your day a little easier, I’d like to do them.”
“No, thank you.” He shakes his head, before he grabs both wheels and advances to where he’d left his bag. As he starts packing his things, he stops again, quietly groaning somewhere in the back of his throat. “Where did I put my pen…”
Viktor eventually finds it right behind his water bottle on the table, tossing the both of them into his bag, shutting it tightly. You expect him to wheel himself over to the ramp that leads to the exit, but he just hangs his head, massaging at his temples again, before he looks at you.
“Actually, I’d like it if you went to my office and got me a silver tin box in the… fourth drawer on the left side of my desk. Do you have the key with you, or should I give you mine?”
“I have it. I’ll be quick.”
“Thank you.”
And you deliver on your promise. You don’t run, but you power walk there, and you’re back with (hopefully the right) tin box in the same lecture hall before his break ends.
Viktor takes it from you gladly, popping it open. It contains two foils of painkillers, one already half empty, a small ziploc bag of… gummies, and at the very bottom, some dark chocolate. 
You must have pulled a bit of a face at the contents — particularly the gummies — because Viktor cocks a brow at you, before he faintly chuckles under his breath and pops three painkillers in one go.
After depositing the foil back in the box, he fishes out the dark chocolate bar. It looks to be the expensive kind, something Belgian — Viktor breaks off a piece, putting it in his mouth, before he holds it out to you.
“Peace offering,” he clarifies when you hesitate. 
You’d be a fool to turn him down. You take some — it’s rich, buttery, and melts on your tongue. It coats your mouth with its taste, dark and aromatic and unfortunately not as sweet as you thought Viktor preferred. He’d always favored the almost disgustingly sugary cakes.
“Didn’t think you’d like something so bitter,” you say.
“I do not. It sometimes helps with my migraines,” he tells you. “Sugar makes them worse. A very… devastating discovery to make, as I’m sure you can imagine.”
You wonder if right now is the right time to be curious — and you decide it might be.
“Do the migraines also affect your leg? Or the other way around?” 
“No.” Viktor shakes his head, popping off another piece of dark chocolate. “This,” he gestures at himself, the wheelchair, “was just a very unfortunate… overlapping.”
“Oh.” You grimace in sympathy. “Fun.”
“A punishment for it, more like.” 
What’s that supposed to mean?
“Let’s hope my migraine eases up on me throughout this lecture.” He smiles at you — and for the first time you’ve known him, he looks old doing it. Exhausted. The face of a man who’s seen enough hardship for a lifetime, but has yet to cave under it. 
You wish you could hold him. You wish you could melt it away, kiss it better, love it better. Whatever he’d let you.
You surprise both him and yourself when you lay a gentle hand on his shoulder and let your thumb rub a small circle over the wool. 
Though he flinches at the first contact, once something in his brilliant mind unfurls and settles, so does he. Through the cracks, tenderness shines under the fatigue. Viktor can be soft — in spite of everything im his body and his past that protests against it. “Thank you.”
You take your hand away sooner than you’d like — but at the ideal time to keep it from being anything more than a friendly touch.
“I’m glad I could help,” you say.
Viktor isn’t there at all next week. 
You come in on Monday to find his office empty during lunch break, and when you attend his lecture, it’s another professor from his department teaching it. The students don’t seem all too excited about the change either — and you leave before it even starts.
Heimerdinger is none the wiser about Viktor’s situation when you talk to him — in spite of their shared history. He simply tells you he’d taken the week off and had arranged for substitutes.
You consider messaging him… and ultimately end up doing so, after some internal debate. You simply text him to get well soon and that you hope he’s getting some well-deserved rest. He replies with just a plain thank you.
Tuesday is quiet. You receive a stack of midterms you need to get through from the substitute, and you do, by Thursday morning. Which is when Heimerdinger messages you.
Dr. Prof. Cecil B Heimerdinger
Good morning! I’m well aware this is on very short notice — but the substitute professor has unfortunately suffered a minor car accident. Not to worry; they only sustained small njury. However, I am finding myself forced to task you with Viktor’s lectures today. Do you think you could take care of that? Thank you.
-Cecil B. Heimerdinger
9:32
Just the thing you needed — teaching two full lectures, entirely unprepared.
Alright. You’ve got this. You’ve got this. You just need to find out what’s even on the agenda for today. You could text Viktor, right? If he answers on time, that is… he’s sick, he might as well be asleep right now. You could call, but… he said only to do that in the case of an emergency when he gave you his phone number. 
Would this count as an emergency?
Your phone beeps.
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
There should be a black flash drive in the third drawer on the left in my desk. It has all my lectures.
9:34
Today’s topic is LHC segments naturally occurring in unstabilized gems. Feel free to use my work laptop to familiarize yourself with the presentation before the lecture.
9:35
Me
Thank you so much! 
9:35
His answer comes a few minutes later, just as you fish the flash drive out of his drawer, and plug it into his laptop.
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
Good luck 👍 
9:42
It would be a lot easier to get caught up in the desire to snoop around on his laptop if you didn’t have less than 20 minutes left until the lecture. His background is disappointingly the default image, but some of his folders look undeniably tempting — not just the scientific ones, which take up most of the space. There’s some photo albums titled with the year and location: Germany 2011, Czech Republic 2009, among many others. There’s also a photo album titled Persichka. 
Who is that? 
You almost click it. But then you check your watch again and realize you only have 15 more minutes until the lecture, and decide against it.
For how utterly unprepared you are, it goes surprisingly well. You stumble, once or twice, but you’re glad to see that even by the end of the lecture, you still have most students’ attention.
After you dismiss the class, you don’t expect questions. But a good handful of them, a little under ten, approach your desk, whispering among themselves, before a hastily appointed representative emerges. 
“We were just wondering,” she awkwardly begins, “if professor Sidorov-Svoboda is alright. And when he’s coming back.”
“Oh.” You hope they’re asking because they understandably prefer him, and not because you did a particularly shabby job. “He texted me just today — he’s doing alright. But I can’t give you an exact estimate for when he’s coming back just yet.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
With that, all of them turn to go. After the last student has left the room, you reach for your phone, and pray you don’t see any other day-altering messages today. 
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
I did not mean for you to have to do this. 
10:11
You unlock your phone and jump straight into the chat.
Me
Don’t worry, it’s alright. I handled it :)
12:02
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
I knew you could.
12:02
Thank you.
12:02
Me
Focus on resting up and getting well soon! 
12:03
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
I have been. I actually feel well enough for company now. Coincidentally, I’ve gotten some ideas for your thesis and I would like it if we discussed them sometime. Would you be free this weekend?
12:05 
He wants to meet? Outside of the university? Undoubtedly for academic purposes still, but your heart squeezes and bounces and pops with the implications. 
No. You shouldn’t let yourself hope for more than just a few formal, at best friendly hours spent together.
Viktor doesn’t want you. He would never want you — he knows better. You know better.
Me
I’d like that! Saturday works for me. Where would you like to meet?
12:05
Dr. Prof. Viktor Sidorov-Svoboda
If you’d prefer somewhere on academy grounds like my office or the coffee shop, either would be fine.
12:06
My apartment is also an option.
12:06
The choice is obvious.
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crooked-wasteland · 2 days ago
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The court scene in hazbin leaks seemed empty .
Lute had no arguments, she was yelling in void, the seraphim and female stolas were just there waiting for plot to happen, Sera answer to anything lute saying was "shut up" literally, which isn't only unprofessional for a governor to do but also it helped at portraying lute as crazy hysterical woman no one respect without the presence of her man.
If hazbin hotel was really interested in discussing the concept of good and evil then here's the right moment, we could take this scene as opportunity to talk about the the justice, lute should represent the concept of the justice is inflexible only bound to the rules that kept people safe for decades . her arguments is that they are currently in war with hell and they can't let a sinner in might be dangerous he might attend some harm upon them or play the role of spy for the morningstars . Emily or stolas-evil-twin or anyone, will represent the concept that there's no justice without mercy and rules should have an exception for cases like this their argument is his sin didn't come from malicious place but rather from a genuine fear so is his act of redemption and therefore we have right to assume that his soul is inherently good and he attends no harm and we should welcome him in heaven .
And I remember a saying in writing goes like :"write an argument where everyone seems to win"(I forgot the actual quote) and I think this one of the scene where we should apply that in order for scene to have a depth
I agree, except on the account of Lute's argument being pointless. Unfortunately, you need the other leak of Seraph talking to Able and the one of Vox to grasp the points being made.
Major spoilers incoming!
The argument Lute makes in the courtroom is nonsensical because we were never given the information. At the start of the season, Charlie has a fairytale book of her parents and it mentions Lilith using music to rally demons against heaven. Vox says this explicitly in a reminder lore dump of 12 whopping seconds that Lilith was prepared to go to war with Heaven before vanishing.
So there's that aspect of the world we never had mentioned or hinted at in the main series. It would have actually helped a lot with incorporating Lilith's army waiting for her in Happy Day in Hell. It also could have been tied back to Rosie and her cannibals. Maybe hinting at the Rosie and Lilith connection more appropriately, or at least opening the idea that Lilith had an army waiting on her still.
Additionally, Seraph mentions how Hell will "want revenge". So even if Hell wasn't a threat before, her greenlighting a genocide is going to make peace a relative impossibility. It's inevitable for Hell to fight back, so now Heaven has to figure out if they will risk their own safety by ending the cullings, or continue and admit they are oppressors keeping Hell weak intentionally. It would make the suggestion of redemption unappealing, regardless of being possible.
But the issue the series will have to patch over is the idea that Sinners would want to be redeemed if it wasn't for Heaven's yearly census shaving. The conflict in the pilot was that Sinners wouldn't want to be redeemed. The exorcists were actually a believable motivation for why anyone would even consider redemption when you have the right to suffer and cause suffering forever in Hell. The issue of the Sinners' immortality questioning how the show is going to believably instill the idea that the discomfort of staying the same is going to outweigh the discomfort of change. And the exorcists seem, frankly, necessary to maintain the pressure on Hell to give Charlie a chance. Meanwhile, maintaining a genocide is going to turn away people who are probably good at their core. The pressure of being oppressed will leave them nowhere to go and without options that don't in some way contradict their own values.
So the story is actually focused on the major plot issue for once. However it isn't staying there. Then we have to remember the sneak peek Medrano shared of Baxter and how the concept of Redemption at all is what is being challenged. Not if Redemption is desirable. So that is where the two sides of the story lose cohesion. Honestly, the Heaven storyline will be far stronger than the story taking place amongst the actual main characters. And between the Baxter/Alastor/Lute reveals, I'm wondering what time there is left to even tell any story about the main character. Once again, we're looking at too many plot threads not being given enough time to expand.
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clementine-thedestroyer · 2 days ago
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Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming with college professors Ghost and Price x TA!reader
This is just my typical brand of shameless bullshit- you’ve been warned. There’s a wee bit of angst and a hint of smut at the end, but it should be safe besides that.
You were a graduate student, working on your masters degree while working part time as teaching assistant to try and make ends meet. And somehow, you’d managed to fall into bed with two of the best looking men on the entire campus.
The conflict of interest is minimal- the two of them work in a completely different department than you (probably history or math, if we’re being honest) and you know that they’re both mature enough men that if something did happen between the three of you, they’d be able to stay professional afterwards.
And even if did work in your department, christ- you may gone for it anyways.
John was tall and strong, always wearing some variation of the same slacks, dress shirt, and tie with a dark brown linen jacket on hand for colder days. The shirts he wore always seemed to fit him perfectly, tucking into his slacks with just the right amount of fabric left over to emphasize his figure without being too tight. There’d been a week where the A/C had been on the fritz- in the middle of a heat wave, naturally- and you were blessed with an entire week of watching John lecture from the chair behind his desk- rolled-up sleeves straining around his thick arms as he gradually gets more and more red in the face as class goes on.
And Simon- he was taller than John, but just barely- no more than a few inches. He was quiet at first, avoiding speaking directly to you until Price had made his interest clear.
You’d always been intrigued by the both of them, really. But with the mask Simon wore- both the figurative, and literal one- on a day to day basis, it made sense that you found John easier to approach.
Your first date with him had been nice- pleasant. It was everything you expected of a typical first date while still being the best one you’d ever had, by far. It wasn’t until a few days later that you learned about Simon’s place in the whole thing.
Of course, you’d known what an open relationship was before then, but you hadn’t really had much experience with them, and you certainly hadn’t been expecting to learn that John was in any sort of relationship at all.
It had been a point of uncertainty for you, at first. You’d be going into a situation where these two had been together for years- would it even be possible to be involved with them without being left feeling like an awkward 3rd wheel? There were so many possible points of contention- of conflict. You were just… worried.
John had told you that he’d understand if you decided you weren’t interested anymore- but he’d also told you that both he and Simon were interested in at least getting to know you.
So you’d agreed to give it a try.
At first, it was a bit difficult- you’d tried talking to Simon a few times- getting to know him, ect- but he’s always seemed so cold towards you. All of your attempts at small talk or asking questions about him were met with grunts or sharp, one word awnsers that sometimes didn’t even awnser your questions in the first place.
You’d taken the hint- slinking off back to John with your tail tucked between your legs like a scolded puppy.
John had laughed when you confided in him your suspicions that Simon did, in fact, hate you and everything you stood for. He’d laughed, patting you on the back as he told you that no, Simon didn’t hate you. In fact- he’d been the deciding factor in involving you with their relationship in the first place.
But try as you might, you just couldn’t reconcile the way Simon seemed to loath your very presence with the idea that he wanted anything at all to do with you.
So you’d started avoiding him. Nothing much- just not going out of your way to talk to him unless he noticed you.
In the mean time, your relationship with John progressed. After about a month or so, you’d had sex with him for the first time, and things were good between you- even if you felt a pang of guilt, feeling that you were keeping John from Simon whenever you were with him. That must be why Simon hates you, right? You’re keeping his partner away from him. Sure, you knew that he was okay with it, and that it was something they both agreed on, but there was no way he didn’t resent you the slightest bit for taking up John’s time.
It was for nearly three months that you believed that, at least until the first time the three of you had fallen into bed together all at once.
You’d been sitting with John in his office, waiting for him to finish up some work. At some point, your impatience and borderline bratting must’ve worn too hard on John’s nerves, because he’d given you a final warning: if you didn’t quit with the attitude, you wouldn’t like what happened.
Of course, with him saying that, you couldn’t just stop.
One more taunting line was what it took to make him snap. He’d stood up and grabbed you by the wrist, practically dragging you to his desk before bending you over his lap- yanking down your bottoms and shoving two thick fingers into your cunt.
He’d let you rut your clit desperately against the leg of his pants as he tried to get some work done, but every time you got close to cumming, he’d withdraw his fingers and force you to still with a heavy hand on your hip.
You’d been acting pathetic, really- whining and whimpering like a little bitch as you desperately tried to wiggle your hips enough to get off. You don’t remember how long you’d been doing that, but at some point, Simon had walked in.
Heat immediately flodded your face at your state of undress. You try to sit up, only for John’s free hand to catch you and push you back into place. Being effectively pinned in such an embarrassing position by John triggered a different kind of heat in you.
John had three fingers stretching you open by now, pistoning in and out of you at a lazy pace without a care in the world.
Simon is staring- standing in front of the door, teeth clenched and eyes fixed on where John’s hand is disappearing into you, transfixed on how your hole stretches and swallows the intrusion and by the shine and sheer amount of your slick on John’s fingers.
You try and call out for him- pleading for him to save you from your embarrassment- but it just comes out as a pitiful, garbled moan. Simon’s hand forms a fist, and you watch as he digs his nails into the skin of his palm. It was a reaction you’d easily mistake for anger, had you not just watched the rapidly growing bulge in his pants fill out further at your cry.
You’re sure you look absolutely pathetic right now- your cheek is smushed against John’s thigh, and your face is mess of smeared tears and drool.
But that doesn’t stop Simon from dropping to his knees and eating you out, keeping with John’s goal of edging you until the brattiness is well and good out of your system.
After that, Simon’s behavior towards you had completely changed.
He would touch you, for one, and seemed to enjoy when you would do the same to him. He spoke with you more too- cracking horrible jokes, poking fun at your quirks, ect.
Or maybe you’d just become better at interpreting his actions. After all, he was still often quiet- you’d just come to see it as him preferring to listen, rather than as a sign of dislike. Same with his responses, the curt, one word awnsers that you used to take as a sign of annoyance, you now see simply as how Simon speaks.
Either way, whether it was Simon’s attitude that had changed or your own, there’d been no more painfully awkward moments or feelings of guilt for you. The three of you got on together like you’d known them for years, and you couldn’t be happier.
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bgomtori · 3 days ago
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☆ casual - cbg
synopsis -> was everything casual? or something more?
-> beomgyu x afab!reader
-> friends to lovers?.. "more than friends less than lovers." angst, fluff, suggestive
-> warnings! situationship typa problems :( , self-harm, implications of self isolation, beomgyu can be an ass if you think about it.
-> note! this has been on my mind for a while now, sooo as a way to comeback to tumblr, i'm writing this :D BUT IM BACCKKKK!! i actually have 1 paper left but it's fairly easy to score soo i have a LOTT of time to write now!! also i'm really rusty right now SO IM SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES 😞🙏🙏
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was it casual now?
beomgyu was confusing, so confusing. one second he’s all over you and affectionate, the next he’s just friendly and nice. you’ve always tried to let it slide but it has been eating you whole from the inside, no ‘platonic’ friend would do this, what the hell does he want from you. a relationship? a regular friendship? you can’t even answer it, not even your mutual friends can answer that question. you’ve constantly been caught in the pretense of a friendship or something deeper, you definitely wanted the latter.
beomgyu has always been close to you, you met him in middle school, at the playground, where he invited you to play a lame game of ‘freeze tag’ with a bunch of his friends. fortunately, or unforturnately, the friendship stayed throughout the years of ups and downs, but now you are stuck with the constant thought of, ‘is this something friends normally do with each other?’. how can it be casual when you know how soft his lips were against your skin, how he tasted like, how his body felt like against yours? these questions were left unanswered.
was it casual when you kissed all my scars and told me that there was more of me to love?
highschool was a rough time for you, having to balance studies, co-curriculars and your social life was not easy. you often found yourself mentally drained, and always out of it. beomgyu noticed all of these signs, yet you wouldn’t tell him anything, which eventually upset him. what was so secretive to the point you had to hide it from him. your best friend.
beomgyu needed to know, he didn’t want you to suffer alone, he wanted to be your light, your pillar of support. he went over to your house one day, just to chill. as soon as you opened the door, he noticed how detached you seemed, he could see it in your eyes even if you looked perfectly normal. he shut the door behind him, following you up to your room after greeting your parents. when he entered your room, he was shocked to see how messy it looked, which was unlike you at all.
“sorry for the mess, i didn’t have time to clean up at all..” you mumbled a quiet apology, sitting on your bed, looking up at him as he stood there.
“no, it’s alright.” beomgyu shook his head, making his way to your bed, sitting beside you. his eyes scanned your figure, before falling onto your arms. there were scars, scratches? no. he knew it wasn’t that, no cat would scratch a person that many times at the same spot. beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed, how did he not notice? was he blind?
“yn. let me see your arm.” beomgyu asked, his voice sounded firm and worried. you started to panic, you forgot to cover them up before he came.
“it’s nothing beomgyu..” you denied it, unable to make eye contact with him, the floor of your room suddenly being the most interesting thing you’ve ever chanced upon.
“i’m not dumb yn.” you’ve never heard him this serious before, you reluctantly extended your arm to his direction, letting him inspect it. beomgyu winced at the sight, some were fresh, some were old and recovering. he shifted closer to you, his hands intertwining with yours.
“please.. tell me everything, all your worries and concerns, i don’t want you to suffer in silence anymore yn, you’re very dear to me.” beomgyu’s thumb brushed against your knuckles as if reassuring you that everything is going to be alright. your breath hitched, words stuck in your throat as yout lips quivered slightly. beomgyu noticed this, pulling you close and hugging you. his tight embrace triggered something in your head since you started to bawl your eyes out, letting out everything at once.
beomgyu listened intently, his chin rested on top of your head as he rubbed your back consolingly. he didn't care if you stained his shirt with your tears and snot, he just wanted you to be okay, to find solace in his presence.
after a while, you finally calmed down, your breathing becoming more steady. beomgyu lifted you up from his chest slightly, looking at your red, puffy eyes and pouty lips. his thumb carressed your cheek, wiping away the stray tear that fell from your eye. beomgyu's hand fell from your cheek to your arm, rubbing it.
"you're so strong, i'm proud of you for coping this much.." his words were genuine, so.. comforting. he took your arms, leaving chaste kisses on your scars. at this point, you felt as though the words 'let me kiss your pains away' had come to life. your heart began to race at the sheer feeling of his lips against yours.
"there's more of you to love, so please don't look down on yourself like that again. if you ever feel like your world is crashing, come to me, i'll always be here for you yn." beomgyu mumbled in between his kisses on your arm, his words providing you with perfect reassurance.
the words, "yeah.. i will." was all that you could utter out. beomgyu smiled against your skin, pulling away as he brought you closer to him again, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.
"that's my girl."
was it casual when we went stargazing and you told me that my eyes reminded you of the galaxy?
beomgyu knew you loved space, you've always had a fixation on them, whether it's about meteor showers or the stars beyond, you'd always talk about them. thus, on one random day, he brought you out to a secluded field, away from the chaos in the city.
"why are we here?" you asked beomgyu, following him closely through the grassy field. beomgyu smiled at you.
"stargazing, you told me you've always wanted to do it, so i decided to do my research." beomgyu said, his eyes looking up at the sky, "saw that this place was perfect for stargazing, plus it's close to our neighbourhood, so why not."
you felt your heart skip a beat, he actually listened to your constant whining about wanting to go stargazing but not having anyone to go with. you allowed beomgyu to drag you to the perfect spot, in the middle of the field, to just sit and stare at the stars. the two of you talked as per usual, ranging from harmless bickering to deep talks. your heart swelled in contentment, continuing to watch the stars shine back at you.
little did you know, while you were rambling, beomgyu would take his gaze away from the night sky and look at you, admiring the way your eyes would light up everytime you talked about something you liked.
"y'know, your eyes remind me of the galaxy." beomgyu suddenly muttered out, your eyes widened, along with his. he could feel his ears growing warmer with each passing second.
"huh?" you looked at him, still in disbelief.
"i meant what i said.." beomgyu sheepishly admitted glancing back at you, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. he smiled to himself, before looking back at the pretty night sky.
"yeah i definitely meant that.."
was it casual when you kissed every inch of my body, comparing me to the stardust i was made of?
"do you trust me?" beomgyu whispered, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. you gave him a quick nod, giving him some sort of approval.
he looks at you with affection and tenderness, each glance warming you to your core. his hand reaches out, fingertips grazing along your jawline. his gaze dips down to your lips, closing off the distance between the two of you. as his lips finally met yours, the kiss was slow, gentle, filled with unspoken emotions, his hands cupping your face carefully as if you were glass. beomgyu was savouring every moment of this, the world around him disappearing.
he pulled away, just to look at your flustered face and to catch his breath. you looked ethereal in his eyes, from the way your lips were swollen from the kiss to how red the apple of your cheeks were. without saying anything, he pulled you in for more. his tongue pushing past your parting lips, exploring your mouth. he pushed you slightly, making you lean on the headrest of your bed.
beomgyu continued on, leaving opened-mouth kisses along your jawline, moving down to your neck and collarbone.
"you're perfect.. so pretty." he mumbled against your skin, his hands intertwining with yours. he lifted his head to look at you, smiling at you fondly, he added on, "you're like stardust, so quiet yet filled with depth and light.."
"since when were you so poetic." you joked, looking straight into his eyes, it was corny, but it made your heart race. beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head.
"not sure, it just comes to mind when i'm with you." he shrugged, his lips meeting your forehead, placing a gentle kiss. your eyes roamed his face, scanning it for no particular reason, you words coming out without even thinking.
"what are we?" your voice was soft, barely a whisper. beomgyu looked at you, raising an eyebrow, "friends. are we not?" your throat went dry at his non-chalant response, fuck you hated it. you were disappointed, at him and at yourself, how could he do all this without any attachment? and why did you wish for so much?
"right.." you mumbled under your breath, letting him kiss you again.
is it casual now?
now that you're older, you noticed how beomgyu runs around, talking to other girls, not bothering about your feelings and the relationship between the both of you. you were pissed, he still had the decency to kiss you behind closed doors, but act differently around you infront of others.
he was in your dorm, laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist loosely, giving you light pecks on your lips. however, you stopped him.
"beomgyu, we can't keep doing this." you pushed him off, scanning his face for any reaction. he looked at you slightly stunned, speechless.
"what?"
"i mean what i said, we need to stop this, you can't keep acting like we're not more than friends. i'm tired of it, it hurts you know." you explained yourself, letting your emotions get the best of you. beomgyu still looked at you speechless, unable to say anything, you took this as a sign to continue.
"if you only see me as a girl that you can just screw around with, then our friendship is done. if the 12 years of us being friends mean nothing to you, then we can stop all of this." beomgyu's eyes widened at your words, panic filling his eyes.
"no, no please don't.. i really didn't mean to hurt you, i'm so sorry." beomgyu shook his head, "please don't leave me, you're everything to me. i'm sorry that i felt you in the dust, i'm sorry that i flirted with other girls, knowing that i might hurt your feelings, i'm sorry for neglecting your feelings everytime. i'll change please yn.."
he was desperate, he couldn't bear seeing you leav him. the only reason why he decided to continue was because he felt like this was the only way he could have you, without the fear of rejection. he hated himself for hurting you like this out of his own selfishness.
"i'll change, we'll be more than friends, i'll drop the act now. i'll continue loving you like how i always did, i won't ignore you anymore." beomgyu begged, rubbing your arms gently. you listened to his words, not knowing if you could trust him.
"we'll start over. i promise i'll be the man you want." beomgyu mumbled, hoping that his proposal would gain a little bit of your trust. you slowly nodded your head, "you break your promise and i'll kill you."
beomgyu chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, leaning his head against your chest, "my life is yours then.."
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translatemunson · 3 days ago
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file 001 — call sign: Hyde
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chapter one of death defying acts
masterlist | next chapter
cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader (i'm really trying to keep my descriptions of her and her background to a minimum so i can be inclusive to all people, but let me know if i can improve), no use of y/n, reader has a call sign (i had to pick one, it makes sense for the story), innacuracies about the navy, topgun and army (i did my best guys), this takes places after the events of the movie.
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It has been the longest 48 hours of your life.
You were supposed to touch down in San Diego on a Monday, but because of an airline error, your flight was postponed to late Tuesday, from an airport 2 hours away from Fallon, Nevada. When you arrived, Tuesday night, there was no time to unpack your stuff, just to find a clean uniform in the boxes, pack yourself a bag for your first day, check if your father got enough gas on your car, get your bed ready and sleep.
You were expected in the San Diego Naval Air Station North Island at the break of dawn. You would be lying if you said you weren’t excited or anxious to work in such a historical place like North Island. Your mother told you stories from when she worked there, decades ago, and your dad said the best teams were assembled there, amongst the Top Gun students. The pressure was on.
You joined the Navy in your home state, but you were transferred around during your fighter pilot training, and then again for Intelligence officer training. After completing the training, you transferred to Nevada to get a more in depth experience on Air missions with the Top Gun graduates, but that didn’t lead you to working with them during real missions.
Now being in San Diego, you knew it was your chance to impress the higher ups and finally earn some well deserved respect for your work. Intelligence Work was just as hard as flying those jets, but there was something always making your next step even harder inside those officers and mission control rooms.
The guy at the gates checked your ID. Once he cleared your entry, you drove to the Administration Office, ready to get your new credentials and get the job done. You parked your black Renegade, texted your mom — Hey, it’s gonna be a busy day. I’ll call you on Friday. —, grabbed your backpack and entered the place like you were on a mission.
It was like being on autopilot: waiting rooms, greetings, new credentials, a quick introduction to your new Intelligence team, a look at the following weeks schedule, a long meeting with Admiral Simpson — call sign Cyclone — discussing all the classified information you had to know about the team you would be working closely with. Names, call signs, previous missions and confirmed air kills. Familiar faces, new ones, a few last names you knew came from a line of ex military parents, just like you.
It was way past two when you were clear from all the first day activities. The Admiral ended the presentation just as his secretary entered the room to let him know he was needed in the meeting room.
“Don’t hesitate to stop by if you have questions, Officer. Your father spoke very highly of you and your work.” Oh, of course, he knew your father. Everybody was familiar with the teaching techniques from the one and only Warbird. “I believe Captain Mitchell is conducting flying exercises on Hangar One, if you’re interested in meeting the Dagger Squad.”
“Thank you, Admiral.” You collected all the files that were designated to you. “Will do.”
It was a good idea to just turn to the parking and go home, but you were curious to meet part of the team. Differently from other previous missions, all your analysis and suggestions would go through the captains and admirals before they made any decisions. But still, it was very important for you to understand what was at stake and which suggestions could be made right away.
You stopped by your car to throw your bag on the passenger seat and followed the path to the hangar. The waiting room was empty, but you saw a few silhouettes on the tarmac, going through the end of the day checklist. You turned the volume of the radio on, trying to gather some information about who was on the air. Besides a few directions here and there, they were useless to find out who those pilots were.
You could tell one of them was arrogant by their tone, maybe even too snarky and impatient. Based on their banter, it was clear they were doing basic maneuver training, and Maverick was the one chasing them. Some good old flight training tactics, you see. For a team that just got back from a dangerous mission — barely in one piece, but still — you were wondering why they kept those guys back for another one instead of taking advantage of Maverick’s skills and getting a new team there. Maybe even with the almost mission failure, there was potential amongst those aviators.
“You’re out, kid.” You heard Maverick on the radio, and more grumblings from the other guy.
You left the waiting room and finally walked to the tarmac. Arms crossed over your chest, you were looking forward to the following day, where you would gather details about their flight styles and their skills during missions. You had something around ten weeks to settle down and learn everything about the team before you’re deployed to a mission.
The F/A-18s landed graciously, and that constant nostalgia hit you again, leaving you wondering how would it feel to be back on a jet, what would feel to be on an official mission. Those days were far gone for you, the idea of flying just in case of traveling, and maybe a few minutes in one of your dad’s planes. But just for a moment enough to pump some adrenaline, landing on the tarmac just before your mind picked up the speed.
“Do my eyes deceive me?” You turned around and smiled at the sight of a familiar face.
“You wouldn’t be backseating if your sighting was bad, Robert.” You joked. Bob joined the Navy in the same period as you, and you trained together until the very last day you hopped on a jet. “Heard you managed the impossible.”
“Just doing my job.”
You hugged him, and finally those aviators started to pay attention to you.
“Who’s the pretty face, Bob?” A tall, tanned skin and blond aviator asked. “Your girlfriend?”
“Keep it in your pants, Bagman.” A woman came from behind one of the jets.
“Glad to see you’re still as sharp as that one training in Nevada, Phoenix.” You were happy to be back with Natasha Trace. She was one of the Navy aviators in one of the mission simulations you had back in Nevada, two years ago. It was one of the first times you stepped in as mission commander, and while other aviators weren’t happy with your orders, Phoenix was one of the few that happily followed them — and succeeded in the simulation.
“What? Did I miss any memo about a new pilot?” Bagman turned around.
“Not a pilot, Seresin.” Maverick finally showed up. “Officer, glad you could join us.”
“Captain, would you have a minute to discuss a few details about next week's mission simulation?” Time was precious for you. As soon as you could align the information you had in hand with the captain, the easier it would be to come up with plans for action.
“Definitely not a pilot.” Just like a shadow to his father, Bradley Bradshaw even carried the same mustache you saw in your dad’s pictures. You two had never crossed paths during your career in the Navy, but aviators would talk a lot over a few beers and drinks. And you were not looking forward to working with him.
“I’ll meet you in the office in 5,” he replied and went his way.
You turned around, now facing a bigger group of curious aviators. The Dagger Squadron. You knew their names and faces now, but that didn’t matter a lot.
“Ok, so who are you exactly?” Bagman, or Seresin, asked.
“People call me Hyde.” Even though your last name was embroidered in your uniform, people tended to ignore it. Your call sign from when you were flying jets carried over to the Intelligence rooms because of your reputation. “I’m part of the Navy Intelligence, and I’m gonna be training closely with you,” you looked around, “and be part of the next mission.”
You weren’t planning on being there for longer than one mission: you needed to prove yourself to your superiors in order to get assigned to missions overseas, with international teams. It was just another mission for you.
“We’ll be seeing each other soon. Have a nice evening, aviators.”
You turned around and walked back to the hall, but before you could be out of reach, you heard someone saying, “Who the hell does she think she is?”
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a/n: hello everyone! first fanfic for top gun: maverick, let me know what you guys think! i believe this will be more fast paced, focused on reader and her life as an intelligence officer (i made up most of the stuff for it since it's not easy to find info about it on the internet). huge shout out to the lovely @live-love-be-unique for indulging in this universe with me! i'm taking requests for this fic, so feel free to reach out via asks or dms! see ya soon.
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