#these two. their friendship is Important To Me. theyd be so insane together if they lived in the same house

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DIRK: My roommate and I have started texting each other like democratic fundraising messaging.

--- gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 15:15. ---

GG:

GG: Dirk - it's Nancy Pelosi and I'm asking for your help. When Jane takes out the trash, I NEED you to replace the bag. Otherwise, we're letting MAGA win!! Can I count on your support?

TT: Yep, my bad.

--- gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 15:15. ---

--- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 20:57. ---

TT: I'm in disbelief: Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight just announced we need more boxed mac and cheese for dinner.

TT: -- We're WINNING in Florida.

TT: -- We're WINNING in Ohio.

TT: -- We're WINNING in Pennsylvania.

TT: -- We're WINNING in Georgia.

TT: -- We're WINNING in Nevada.

TT: -- We're WINNING in New Hampshire.

TT: I cannot emphasize this enough: We have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to GO to the store for mac and cheese.

GG: The votes are in: We're getting mac and cheese.

TT: Fuck yes.

--- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 21:02. ---

[alyimoss]

ALPHYS SUPREMACY!!!

so my own view on what happened w gaster is convoluted and incomplete so i will refrain from saying much on that front EXCEPT the fact that i hc that she was 100% close to him and he was close to her, i like to think that he often validated her ideas and her hyperfixations. i think she was super nervous around him always and terrified of disappointing him, but he never thought of her that way. he saw her as intelligent and driven and i love the idea that out of everyone he worked with, hes very happy alphys ended up succeeding him. i love the thought that he basically thought of her as his daughter, like he was so genuinely proud of her and her accomplishments and genuinely happy to see her happy. i think she showed him anime once and he was very so-so abt it and she could tell but he still told her the parts of it he liked and that she shouldnt be ashamed of liking things others might not (which, for my view of gaster, is mildly insane bc i hc him as a man who barely ever talks abt stuff like that but this shit aint abt him)

her and sans's friendship is so underexplored it literally kills me bc what do you MEAN basically noone ever gives a shit abt it???? their friendship is so so important to me. i like to think they met in high school or college, that alphys is a year or two younger but was in all the same classes (and some more advanced than him) bc she really *is* that smart (a fact i think a lot of people forget bc so many reduce her to just "annoying weeb" and it pisses me off) so theyd collab on projects and study together and stuff. she was absolutely a straight-a student but she would panic over every assignment bc of her self-confidence issues and would convice herself that she would fail (she never did. she very consistently scored at the top of the class).

i think she compared herself to sans a lot, too. bc i see him as the epitome of adhd-type procrastinator who still got good grades somehow and seemed to just- understand every concept thrown at him immediately. and she would invalidate her own work over this bc "sans never does anything but hes still at the same level as me. meanwhile i have to do all this work and im stressed all the time. god im such a failure, i wish i could just be flawlessly smart like him" (this is not projection this is not projection this is n) but i dont think she ever said it out loud bc she didnt wanna seem like she was seeking pity or smthn (sans picked up on it anyway bc bro is canonically that observant and he hyped her up in his own way as much as he could without saying anything outright bc if hes anything he is a man who does not want to confrot feelings, his own or someone elses, fucking EVER).

and like during the events of undertale theyre obviously still friends but i think they drifted apart a little. between sans's depression and alphys's own, plus her workload and stress, they didnt really get to hang out much anymore, nor be as close or as open with each other as they had been previously (which wasnt even that much considering. sans. but the shift was still noticeable). this definitely added to her stress and fears (add on to that that mostof their communication was likely thru text and alphys is absolutely a very expressive texter and someone who usually takes like seconds to reply while sans is the worlds dryest texter, would probably leave you on read (not maliciously) for days or not even read your messages until like a week later). but still he helped her out where he could and he kept hyping her up bc thats his fucking friend, man!! and then theres that list in the dog shrine casino on?? whichever fucking console version of ut it is i dont remember that is very heavily implied to be alphys's game recs for sans which i think is so cute.

i think when they did hang, theyd watch anime and eat junk food and watch movies and play video games and just kinda. not talk abt their problems at all, but it still felt nice for both to just hang with someone plus escapism so. also once she got her big fat crush on undyne (and probably before w other crushes but especially with her crush on undyne) shed sit there and tell him all abt it, the things she did/said, how nervous alphys is, how badly she wants to just ask her out etc. and sans, in typical aro/ace fashion, would just nod along, happy for his friend, and, when asked for advice, would just shrug and go "idk talk to her ig?" (pan to undynes house where the exact same conversation happens with papyrus and undyne lmfao)

and like. i think alphys is just in general the type of person to get overinvested in any kind of relationship, even if it seems like the other person doesnt feel the same. like shes probably had friendships in which she was super invested in the other person and so happy to hear from them and worrying when she didnt and letting them vent to her etc only to find out that the other person barely thought of her as an acquintance (this is NOT PROJECTION I SWE)

she absolutely would be into cosplay but initially be too shy and too full of self-loathing to really like. do it. and this is where another one of my all-time fav friendships that NOONE talks abt emerges and that is ALPHYS AND PAPYRUS. LIKE PAPYRUS IS ABSOLUTELY THE TYPE OF PERSON SHE NEEDS IN HER LIFE. he hypes her up constantly, he calls her out when shes being negative abt/mean to herself and tells her how to change that around, hes an absolute beacon of positivity and confidence and the kind of person you really feel like you can be yourself around. theyd fucking cosplay together. theyd sit down and make cosplay together from scratch. undyne would be there too, obv. i think she initially helped out, making like props and whatnot, but she kept getting too excited and smashing them, so now shes just there as moral support + she can wear the in-progress cosplay to like. help them see how its coming along, what they need to change, etc. and i think she still is like. the authority on a lot of weapons (esp prop spears) bc she has experience.

and yknow whod also help them?? toriel. i love toriel and alphys friendship, i think they have a book club-type thing going together. tori would come over and help them sew together fabric and whatnot, and also bring pie bc everyone fucking loves pie (everyone has made pie together with her at some point. even asgore, tho that was long, long ago). sans is there occasionally. noone ever sees him do any work but his parts are always done and noone knows how.

she goes to cons with undyne and papyrus and i think frisk goes w them bc WHY THE FUCK NOT. god she must have been so happy the first time she went to a con... not only is it a whole ass space all abt anime, but theres people *like her* there and suddenly she doesnt feel like the weirdo freak, shes just a girl enjoying her life and her hyperfixation and its so freeing.... she probably stays all days of the con (undyne probably stays with her, papyrus and frisk have to leave but they get photo updated almost hourly)

she probably ends up getting asgore into anime, at least somewhat. she goes over to his house and they drink tea and watch anime and she infodumps abt specific moments with her favorite characters and how important they are lore-wise/thematically and asgore goes "golly!" and listens to all of it and asks questions and alphys is so fucking *excited* bc she gets to talk even *more* abt her favorite thing and she goes into headcanons and theories and then later asgore sends her like. a photo of an anime boy he stumbled on and goes "this reminded me of you!" and shes just so happy abt it. he gives her flowers, also. both in bouquet form and potted plants. she takes care of them very, very diligently.

she still does science stuff on the surface. im not smart so idk what but she does it. she helps frisk w their homework (everyone does but shes in charge of sciency and mathy stuff bc shes good at that) and when theyre done they get boba or something to celebrate and frisk tells her abt school and abt their fellow students and teachers, she talks abt the people at her work. they play video games together (they definitely both play pokemon. they trade with each other to complete their dex. frisk is doing a shiny living dex and giving her their dupes, especially if its a pokemon she likes.) i just love her as like- an aunt/big sister type figure to frisk. theres that one drawing of them that lives in my head constantly but i DONT REMEMBER WHO ITS BY

her playlist is full of vocaloid songs. and ado. she does official sciency stuff to the sound of hatsune miku and yknow what? me too, good for her.

i almost forgot mettaton somehow?? but their friendship specifically BREAKS ME bc were shown in ut that theyre not particularly close by the time frisk arrives. that it seems like mmt is more or less using her so he can have his body finished and go on to become a star, but thats it. but like you can tell that 1) alphys knows this and 2) she still cares for him so, so much. and i believe in one of the king mtt endings he explicitly says that, looking back, he recognizes he was *awful* to her, that he regrets it and that he wishes he had been a better friend. and that shit FUCKS. ME. UP.

oh god the fucking conversation theyd need to have. once its all over, once theyre on the surface... bc i do think they had one. they laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling and told each other about their insecurities and their lies. alphys talks about how nervous she was finishing his body, how she felt he would leave her once she did. he talks about how he did think of that, that he was an awful friend for doing so. how he cares about her and hes done letting the fame go to his head, that he wont up and leave her, his first fan as mettaton. his friend. she probably also helps her talk to napstablook and shyren, bc i do like to think he tells them the truth.

i like the though of her, on the surface, sitting on the couch in toriel'd house, drinking a cup of tea, her friends all around her talking and having fun and she just thinks about the type of person she was before all this and she realizes how much shes changed. how much happier she is. how much she loves every single person in that room with her.

alphys... like. the journey to her betterment is not a quick or an easy one. but god... shes just so relatable i do not understand people who dont like her. shes so interesting and deep as a character. shes so... shes so. man....

im running out of steam a little (and need to get back to what i was doing before this) but shes genuinely so epic. shes so awesome and cool and i wish more people recognized that.

alphys supremacy.

alphys is so underrated and everyone says it but nobody does anything about it. alphys’ relationship with gaster. her dynamic with sans. her self loathing eating away at the inside. her literal suicide attempt.??? THE FACT SHES IN ONE OF VERY FEW CANON WLW RELATIONSHIPS OUT THERE????? THE FACT SHE IS THE MOST RELATABLE CHARACTER TO EVER WALK THIS PLANET???? wtf…

i like to hc that alphys is like a sister figure to sans but not quite papyrus. i like to think she was there when gaster fell into the core. i like to think that she spent ages piecing the puzzle together only to have so many missing pieces in the end as to what happened, who the royal scientist before her was, why she remembers things that never happened. i like to hc that the amalgamates were kind to her despite what she’d done, and their attempts at comfort after seeing her guilt only made her feel worse.

i like to think that sans isn’t the star of the mystery science scene because fucking obviously, and his and alphys’ stories are intertwined. i think that alphys helps him with the secret machine in the back of his home. i think that alphys asks sans for favors regarding the amalgamates without him knowing what for (he does know, she knows that he knows, neither talk about it much). i think they’re besties who are both so depressed. i like to think alphys in her free time sits and writes fanfiction about her favorite anime characters going through what she does to cope.

i think she would cosplay but be too scared to go outside in it so she posts one picture online and then hides from her phone the rest of the day. i think once or twice she passed out from sheer exhaustion and stress combined in front of mettaton and he’s been her rock through it all and helped her get to her feet. i hc that she has frequent headaches and a brain injury which gave her a stutter. i hc she and frisk are actually close and they do ‘sleepovers’ where alphys shows them anime and they hang out and toriel gets free babysitting. i like to think alphys, after going to the surface, is more comfortable with being a nerd because wdym humans have CONVENTIONS for her favorite anime!?!??!? and that’s a key part of helping her be more comfortable with herself (undyne cosplays with her voluntarily so alphys doesn’t feel awkward).

i like alphys….

[rebeccasjack]

for the ask meme: 001 - once upon a time 002 - captain swan 003 - ruby lucas pls and thank u

Thank you!!!!

OUAT

Favorite character: Emma & Alice 

Least Favorite character: Gothel

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): CS, curious archer, rumbelle, snowing, outlaw and dragon queen (im cheating lol)

Character I find most attractive: Regina

Character I would marry: Emma or Belle

Character I would be best friends with: also belle lol but also charming

a random thought: alice and robin had like an actual ouat style royal wedding, everyone showed up and it was just so big and they looked super regal and gah i have a lot of opinions on that

An unpopular opinion: i think jefferson had a pretty complete story??? the last time we see him he reunited with his kid so i dont feel like his story needed more closure as compared to other characters

My Canon OTP: CS or curious archer (their both tied for me lol)

My Non-canon OTP: Dragon queen

Most Badass Character: Alice “the guardian” jones or Emma “product of true love” swan

Most Epic Villain: pan or zelena (i like her as a regular character but she was a lit villian)

Pairing I am not a fan of: lolllll sw@nfire but also $q but i really tried to like them for a long time but long story short both ships……not it lmao

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): august tbh, he existed in the first season as a friend of emmas and someone who was young and could not live up to his dads expectations and then they retconned the shit out of him and he helped send her to jail at 16/17 and he so rarely gets mentioned again, hes a boy and then a man but also the “one real friend” emma had??? even tho he was barely a friend to her lol, i really did like him and the actor who played him was amazing and ya…..wasted potential

Favourite Friendship: huh i ship like all my fav friendships lol but frozen swan or captain charming

Character I most identify with: ALICE!!! or killian (mainly the original version)

Character I wish I could be: idk charming??? he has a great wife and then i could protect emma with my life idk i think being him would be cool

CS

When I started shipping them: ive been watching the show live since like mid season 2 but i was hella dumb when i watched 2x06 and im the only cs shipper who didnt see how obvious the set up was lol but ngl i just……hated ne@l and it lead me into the anti tag where i read so many meta posts about how killian was the “anti” ne@l and how he would be good for her and i just remember i was like “well anything’s better than her ending up with him” but when 2x22 aired and hook turned his ship around for her i was like oh shit oh shit 

My thoughts: they’re everything???? true love lost souls who find home in each other (which is the BEST kind of trope) excellence. they were both so BROKEN when we met them and when they met??? and they helped HEAL each other and learn to love again??? their so powerful and i adored them with my whole heart; no show ever did with another ship what this show did with them 

What makes me happy about them: thinking about 2x06 and how closed off they were and then they found each other and got a FAMILY and someone who loved them unconditionally and they both DESERVE it

What makes me sad about them: huhhhh i just miss them. i do wish jen stayed for s6 but im not like angry or resentful 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: ooffff uhm??? i dont wanna say anything too specific fanfic writers are AMAZING. but ive always been more on the swan believer deserves better side which is really just that idk ive read fics where sometimes emma came off as a bad mom so killian could be the “hero” dad and it always feels hella heteronormative (it exists with a LOT of m/f mom/dad fics *cough cough* bellarke) and it bugs me a lot it always comes across as icky 

Things I look for in fanfic: i absolutely adored cs neighbours fics idk why??? it fits them so well but also enchanted forest aus are so good especially bc given canon we have so many of those aus and them as kids is really great: it takes away a lot of their individual pain so its always a fun au

My wishlist: we were so spoiled so im not gonna like beg for more but let me just say; in 4x12 when she was putting his heart back the “ive never done this before” “held my heart; believe me you have for much longer” lines SHOULD NOT have been cut

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: uhm killian with milah and emma with elsa

My happily ever after for them: i have different ideas of their jobs but pretty much got everything i wanted for them and more??? they have a home and two kid(s) as well as amazing friends/family and theyre living their happy beginning as they SHOULD

Ruby Lucas

How I feel about this character: a BISEXUAL legend; thank you for ur service we all thank you. shes amazing and we deserved to see her again for the final season and her storyline in season 2 was so important to me??? her episode where she was all “i choose me” to her mom and she realized she wasnt the monster was all so good i loved her

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: SHES SO SHIPPABBLE lol; snow, belle, charming ( as like an ot3 with snow), mulan, dorothy

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: well her and snow were never romantic so ya snow??? their scenes were probs some of my fav in like the entire show ngl but also granny 

My unpopular opinion about this character: huh some people shipped her with victor and i never really saw it??? they were insanely popular in s2 and they had like a nice scene together but i just didnt feel much at all. also red snow >>>> red beauty (but l like them as well)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: she STUCK AROUND!!!! and met more disney princesses 

Favorite friendship for this character: maybe her and emma??? i could never get into them as a ship either just cause i remember this one fic where she told emma that snowing were gonna make her godmother and i realized how true that probably was but i like them as friends and i wish we got more 

My crossover ship: idkkk uhm (i wish she got to meet elsa and killian tho)  and they could lead emma defence squad but maybe rebbekah from tvd i feel like theyd be bisexual queenns together lol

[mattyslittleworld]

Never Meant

I hear “What are we going through? You and me?” as I watch the sunlight literally tear through the black clouds that were hanging over my town. This is my favorite song by The National - Hairpin Turns. It’s so fucking brutal, and it seems like, to me, he is absolutely desperately fucking annihilated by losing whoever he lost. I’ve been there. And I thought I was going to be there again, pretty soon. I am currently pulled over in my car in a parking lot, as I was on a little drive through the neighborhood. Coffee and some beautiful, subtle music. The sun was out all day, and it’s t shirt weather. So me and Gionna’s ex boyfriends American Nightmare shirt (lol) went on a windows down stroll until suddenly the bright sky was filled with darkness. My one moment to forget about all of this madness was being pushed aside, I just wanted to pretend it was summer, shit was normal, and feel calm and collected, as if literal iced out trucks weren’t being filled with corpses outside of hospitals. We’ve all lost people, in a week, 5 deaths close to my immediate family, bringing my family itself stronger and closer together. Here I am driving into a storm, in a t shirt, just like the current state of American Society. Until.....the clouds part....and as I drive slowly down 35 north....the sunlight starts dancing in the most beautiful way. It was almost an epiphany and it made me think. It made me pull over - within the beautiful chorus of this National song...eloquently tiptoeing in the background. I felt calm. I smirked. If there was a god up top, I thank my guy. But it made me think - hey - we may be walking into a black cloud in just a t shirt, for we’ve been blindsided, but if you walk forward....maybe the sun will come and shit will be better than expected if we stand tall and be brave and love. 

“What are we going through? You and me...”

Currently writing at 2:15 am - two days later than what appears above this. 

I didn’t record any music today, unlike every single day of this quarantine we’ve all been locked into. I wake up, walk over to the mic, which is brand new - and pull up beats or pick up the guitar and hack away. Even if its horrible, its just important to me to get it out. Stack and stack and stack and stack. Ive discovered that during this quarantine - the isolation is making me look inward, and subconsciously pick away at the thing I’ve been chasing for the past few years that ive been so curious and scared about cracking open. But with no distraction of the outside world…because its literally shut down…it makes sense the little bits and pieces of this thing that’s been bleeding into my music….like I said with no distractions…POURS OUT OF ME effortlessly. Im like okay this makes hella sense. With dark city lights and the cage shit and even with the Albee shit I was like…okay this is a NEW DOOR. But do I walk through it? What do I wear? Can I walk back out or will it lock once I get in there? Is it a trap? I need more information. I need more clarity. So without me really knowing what’s in there - I feel like little bits and pieces have been bleeding into my work. And now I finally busted that fucking door down and it wasnt a room…it was the exit to the trap I was existing in my whole musical career. Now liberated. Now free. Now born. This has been so inspiring to me because what people don't really realize about this genre is that its a full on contact sport. Its competitive. Its similar to being an athlete. Which I was my whole life. Similar to basketball - you gotta stay in the gym and the more work you put in...the more shots you take...the better your jump shot is. same with this...theres a fucking skill to it. You can be really good at it. Or you can be trash. And you can utilize it in the most combative ways. It gives me something to attack and focus my need of competitiveness on. Another thing I can obsess over. The samples ive been using in my beats have not ever been used before. These ideas are brand new in this shit. The topics I am spitting about are so serious to me. I want nothing to do with the stereotypical rapper aesthetic - the gimmicks - the drugs….all that can fuck off. I want to make a difference and tackle drug abuse, depression, anxiety, anger, the violence ive seen my whole life, hardcore, my old friends, my new friends, my love life, everything ive experienced. Im using actual real names, with actual real life things that happened with 0 apology about how you feel about it. I want to utilize this to up the worth of my words and vocabulary and paint the portrait of my life. I want it to mean something. I want to make change. Even if its on a small level. Man I feel everything. Its insane how this could all be so evident with just non stop self reflection. You vs. You….who will you become? Like I said…wake up. Hit the mic or bring up beats and just cook. If that hits a wall…just study study study study podcasts and interviews for hours and hours and hours. After that ill play basketball, run a mile, work out, and take it down to Ozark lol. Im invested. I don’t do anything illegal cause im a lil bish ass pussy but I wanna do some crazy shit lolol. 

Anyway, original point, I didn’t record any music. I was feeling restless and packed my shit and drove for literally 5 hours tonight. Went up 287. Hit a few nostalgic spots that I love so much and hold close to my heart. I listened to all the music ive been making. But mainly the objective was to just take a day to free myself of this grind and quarantine and be a fan of music….in the world….and reconnect with that feeling it gives you. I listened to early Alicia Keys, first Drake album, some Russ, some old folk shit, so much beautiful music. Damn it really moved me. 5 hours I drove around just visiting places that my heart are attached to. Those milestone places. Little ones….like a diner in Clark I went to once but something important started there. Or a venue in Hackensack called School Of Rock that I met my boy Alex at…when we attend a Horse The Band show together with a few homies and I got yelled at by some girl by the Merch table cause I used to be so fat and moshed so hard and punched like 14 people in the face and it was so not cool and so out of place lmao. I was in a awkward dress shirt I looked straight out of fucking Billy Madison. Horrible. Its always so interesting to me to return to places like this…after years and years and years of it only being a distant memory…to kind of return and prove it was real. I am such a different person now. As we all are. But I really drifted into a whole other land of opportunity that exists outside of everything I grew up around. Socially too. So sometimes it really does feel like everything and everyone I loved….everything I experienced…was just a dream and didn’t exist. It’s so odd. People I knew for 20 years…have no idea about anything I do now. They just see my social media. But that line is drawn. And vice versa - everyone in my life have 0 idea of my life prior. The people, the interests, the stories I tell are foreign. They’re like hardcore? Whats that? And meanwhile that was the most important thing in my life for literally 20 years….and if you told the people in my life at that time that the people in my life in the future wouldn’t even know what hardcore was….theyd be thoroughly confused as to why I was lying to them. But life goes on…and hey…sometimes you gotta take a trip down memory lane and cry in your car tears of joy that you don’t have to fucking fight loading in your gear anymore and you get to have platinum selling artists touch your beats. Or you get to sing songs with billboard charting artists, who have the biggest billboards you ever seen ,light up Times Square right above the spot you found a 100 dollars with your first love. If you told me that when I found that shit years ago id be like eat a dick we’re going to see Ceremony at the warren American legion peaaaaace lolol. 

Side bar - im listening to the national again. 

But this time the song “Quiet Light” and I want to point out that I think its magnificently adorable that a lyric is

“Im not the spiritual type…I still go out all the time to department stores” 

I have literally no idea what that means but I think its mad cute.

Department stores are cute as fuck because “things” are cute.

Like little things to put on bigger things yanno lol?

I think this song is entirely too amazing to be released to the public, it really makes you question everything you ever made, and reality.  I mean the line “between you and me I still fall apart at the sound of your voice”…OOF. Im just sitting here at 2:46 am on this Sunday, with my eyes closing for small moments to really soak in the beauty of this master piece. Whoever he is talking to ruined him. Ive been ruined, I understand and empathize with this. Primarily making rap and pop music it really opens up my taste to this indie type shit…really falls right into that open wound in the best way. It stings because it hits home so hard, but its so eloquent at the same time. Almost addicting. I want to take a lot of these sounds recreate them, and apply that to the music im making now that exists outside of this genre. I think it’d be crazy and it’d cross two worlds that haven’t been crossed. Damn im out here giving away the tea to you useless fuckers. 

Last night I had a dream about an old friend, that I don’t think is healthy in this time of my life to be around….but damn…it was like I relapsed on the heroin of our friendship. It was the realest shit I have ever dreamt. I woke up - with the exact feeling you get when you go home after you hangout with somebody in the flesh. This whole day it was very real, and felt like I spent a whole night with them, and all my wounds were reopened, all the great times were revisited, and it was just brought to the forefront of my mental. As if we just met. Its crazy dreams can do that. Its just sad that this is such a toxic relationship, and the inevitable cannot be avoided, and a true bond that exists somewhere, deep deep deep down in it, has to be supressed because of the negativity it brings. In the dream we were older, existing without issues, exploring that bond, with issues pushed aside. It was beautiful. I woke up genuinely upset, confused, with a wish that maybe one day we could meet again In a place that’s safe and relevant to who we are. Im at a point in my life where I haven't answered the phone in month for anybody, answered text messages, my bags are packed waiting for this shit to be over with so the rest of my life can begin. Theres no time for friends, love, social activities, or anything that doesn't have to do with business. But there will be a time in the future. This has visited me in the past before. Its interesting when you have to suppress shit that’s extremely bad for you, because its the right thing for you to do…but then the universe bypasses that completely and shakes your fucking soul. During the rest of my day I started realizing that I am really not okay with this person not in my life, like deep in my soul. Its too much of a damn shame, we’ve been through too much together. Every huge milestone in my life as a kid was shared with this person…years and years of growth. Every story I share with people in my life now, was experienced with them, every amazing time, every horrible life altering time. I learned so much, and even taught. I became a young man with them, and then a man. How is it that these new people around in my life have my time…but this person doesn’t? One day we will meet again…when the time is right…..in a different time of our lives. When it’s right. For us. You were my best friend, and no matter how far we are from each other….I got you. In the  depths of my soul and heart. Id literally kill somebody and go to prison for murder for you. But if you happen to read this - you already know that. 

I am listening to “Never Meant” by American Football.

To quote Mike Kinsella 

“Lets just pretend

Everything and

Anything between you and me

Was never meant

Was never meant”

-1-

[officialgleamstar]

[mashing scary and normal together like barbie dolls]

i just think they have such a fun dynamic. i have said before that i dont think theyd date for quite a few years post-canon, and i stand by that, but i think their relationship now is just really good construction blocks for a slow burn friends-to-lovers type arc.

obviously, like, their friendship in canon? peak. chef's kiss. i want a return to early season friendship between them, where scary was more defensive of normal, "hey only i can make fun of him!" type relationship, and i do think we are returning to that as the teens work past scary's betrayal!! she's on their side again, she's seeing that willy is using her, and that's really important steps to all of the teens reconciling back to a good place. especially with the moment scary and normal shared in the newest episode (i am insane over that still and everyone should know it), they specifically are in a good place. they care about each other and it makes me really happy :(( before anything else, i love the season 2 PCs' friendship, and so that's what's most important to me

BUT LIKE. JUST. AUGH. im such a huge friends-to-lovers fan, ESPECIALLY when its a relationship that utterly blindsides the people in it. and i do think that trope fits them sooo well. they are both so the type to go "kiss them? ewww no! thats my friend and they have cooties" (exaggerated but like THEIR VIBES. YOU GET ME), especially about each other; scary loves picking on normal, normal is prone to bickering with scary, theyre friends but they like to argue and rile each other up. theyre utterly the LAST person either of them would expect to date, and i love the thought of them just being hit over the head when they realize oh. i really really really like them.

normal would take this realization in stride but utterly bury all of his feelings. in general, i think norm is the kind of guy to just... crush on all of his friends to varying degrees. very much the type to be willing to date any of his friends, he finds the line between platonic and romantic feelings confusing, and so realizing he has a crush on scary is just kind of like "oh, alright! we're doing that now? that's cool!" meanwhile, scary is utterly flabbergasted. her entire life has been flipped upside down, shes pacing around her room and making mental conspiracy boards to try and figure out why that happened, she is DISTRAUGHT. thats her BEST FRIEND, she cant like HIM, this is the END OF HER LIFE--

okay ive written a whole fic about that so i dont have to get into it again but like. I JUST THINK. they would both approach the relationship differently, and its interesting. peak teen disaster romance where they both take it way too seriously but in wildly different ways. normal would try (and fail) too hard to be an adult and mature about it instead of being gushing head-over-heels teen crush about it, because he wants this to work out and thinks scary wants a cool guy. she does not. she likes his cringefail energy. hes going to try way too hard to be really mature and adult anyways though and he is going to fail at it and shes going to laugh at him and its going to be the highlight of his entire week.

meanwhile, scary is experiencing Teen Girl Brain 24/7 where this feels like its the be all, end all of her entire existence, and any time anything small happens, she loses it. because shes tired of being dramatic about huge world-ending issues. its time to be dramatic about average teen girl issues like your boyfriend not adding a heart to the end of his text even though he ALWAYS adds a heart to the end of his texts. trying to plan a date with these two would be a nightmare but post-canon, i think all of the teens would be like... codependent. lol. so ultimately, it really comes down to them realizing that "we dont have to try so hard to have good dates because we are always together anyways" and learning to embrace time together as it comes along ...

and of course ive discussed this but scary does break into normal's room at least once a week to sleep in his bed instead of her own. i think, post-canon, that scary would have a lot of issues sleeping in general because of everything going on with willy vis-a-vis the sleeping cap, and so she would find it reassuring to share a bed with someone. and oh, good, she has a boyfriend who is warm and cuddly and always forgets to lock his window (he purposefully keeps it unlocked so she can come in, he just doesnt admit it because he likes to complain about how she should use the front door). rebecca thinks its adorable. veronica and sparrow are both constantly this 👌 close to losing it at scary because please stop sneaking out/in without alerting a single authority figure please but scary just does not care. normal thinks its funny, if somewhat stressful because it gets him in trouble, but after four years hes pretty used to all of his closest friends getting him in trouble constantly. ITS CUTE!! I THINK ITS CUTE!!!

okay ive gotten side tracked severely from the point i wanted to make with this post - I THINK normscary works well because i think that they have similar issues and theyd find a lot of comfort in one another. obviously, all of the teens are struggling with issues with their parents, its the point of the podcast. but both normal and scary specifically want their dad to be proud of them, even if its pretty different situations, and i think they would really uniquely be able to reassure one another in regards to that. for normal and sparrow: literally just gonna kick yall over to baba's post about this, because i absolutely love how she talks about it. and she is WAY more concise than i will ever be. but building off of that for scary! i am really endeared by the thought of normal being helpful to scary in growing past her dependence on her biological dad as well. obviously, an important part of normal's arc is realizing that he cant fix people, i want to shy away from any implications that these two can or should "fix" each other. but i think normal's commitment to himself in spite of sparrow's disapproval, the way he drifted from his identity but then decided that he did have the right to cling to it after all, would be really eye-opening to scary. if normal, who clearly loves his family so much, doesnt need his dad's approval, then why should scary? what would it mean for her to stop torturing herself hoping that her dad would come back? etc etc

i just think they would be good for each other. i think they would have a really cute dynamic. i love love love the idea of scary's pessimism and how it clashes with normal's bright-eyed attitude, and i love the idea of normal making scary see things in a sunnier light, and i love the idea of scary grounding normal in reality and helping him when he lets his hopes get too high. i think, when theyre not arguing ghjbfhjdfj they balance each other out really well!!! theyd just be really cute :( let them into your hearts

If there is one thing that is true about me, it is that I am going to get overly emotionally attached to a rarepair