#these two would've ruled the country if they could have

[cosmic-walkers]

one of the most morbidly funny parts in the book, was the scene where thomas and stephen were about to get into an argument, but they stopped midway to make fun of Margaret More begging Thomas to give Thomas More's head back. Like Stephen is like "did you give it back, why did you?" And Thomas made jokes about what Margaret was going to do with her own father's head. And it's like, never mind the fact that Thomas supposedly gets to control where people's heads go, but Thomas More was Thomas and Stephen's friend to a degree, and here they are joking about him being headless and his daughter doing strange things with his head.

LIKE they both ate at his house, together at a point and even left together T-T

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?

I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.

Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.

My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.

Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"

No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.

Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.

There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?

That's not our responsibility, they said.

But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.

My niece gives me Covid.

This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.

The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.

Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.

It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.

[praisethegabs]

OLDER

leon kennedy x reader

synopsis: he's getting older, and he knows that. not believing in luck or in love, leon finds himself in a position of complete misfortune. he convinced himself he's not worthy of love, but that changes when he meets you.

warnings: angst with fluff ending, age gap, leon is very insecure about his age and the reader. strangers to lovers, mentions of smut, ptsd, alcoholism, depression, suicidal thoughts. reader is very delicate, kind, and patient. there's parts from the vendetta book and a few scenes from re6. it starts with re6!leon and ends with di!leon

word count: 15k

a/n: guess who's back? to celebrate the 1 year re4r anniversary, I decided to post this one shot I was working for almost two months. I'm into my angst era again. also i wrote this based on this analysis i read, which made me think about the broken part of leon for a while, also this fic contains part of the vendetta book. feel free to leave comments, reblogs, tips, or positive critics. they're always very welcome ❤️

I. THE WEIGHT ON HIS SHOULDERS

Life can be a bitch sometimes.

This is what he says to himself when he finishes another bottle of whiskey. Every day, when he opens his eyes, he tries to stay positive, hoping his day will be different from his usual schedule; in the end, it is always the same bullshit. Over and over again. No apparent ending; always his solitude. 

But someday it must end, right? He can’t be fighting B.O.W.'s for the rest of his life, can he? Maybe someday he’ll finally settle down and have a peaceful day. Maybe, on this day, his nightmares will stop, and if he’s lucky, he’ll sleep for the entire night. No one can blame him for dreaming of a perfect life, and no one can take this from him. 

The government made him their slave, their deadly pet that follows and obeys every rule and command, and forced him to risk his neck almost every week to keep their country safe. What a bunch of assholes, he thinks to himself. Thing is, Leon hates himself for what he was forced to become. 

There is so much pain. So much suffering. He only wanted to be a cop — nothing more than that. He wanted to deal with simple things — not bioterrorists ready to blow up the entire world, not grotesque mutations that defy the natural order of things. Certainly, if he had a choice to go back and change that night, he wouldn’t go to Raccoon City. He would've stayed in his cheap hotel room; he would have obeyed Marvin’s orders to not go in there. 

But now he’s something else. The rookie cop who had to survive that night died. He can’t even recognize himself anymore, and sometimes, he blames himself for it. No more than he blames the government for it; if he could go back… 

His days are filled with this emptiness — the sensation that he might never see his happy ending. Ada? Yeah, sure. He knows he can’t trust her, and God knows where she is or what she’s doing. He was so naive to fall for her like he did. While on his free day out of the office, he finds himself with a certain envy of happy couples. He can’t stop thinking: why can’t he have the same? Why can’t he be happy for once?

Getting older sucks. At this point, Leon thinks and has already convinced himself that he doesn’t belong to anyone and that he won’t be able to have someone. To experience love and being loved, he wants to be wanted. He’s getting older and still doesn't have anyone by his side. That’s the price he pays for having this life, and he still blames the government for taking it from him. He doesn’t remember the last time he actually felt something for someone, and at this moment of his life, it doesn’t matter to him anymore. Leon had already accepted the fact that he'd die alone. Maybe he’ll get a cat to keep him company. Since he’s not much of a dog person since Raccoon City, maybe he’ll name her a cute name; who knows? That’s probably the closest he’ll get to having something waiting for him at home. 

Leon doesn’t remember the last time he actually felt happy. Since Raccoon City, he doesn't know what happiness means, and sometimes, on very rare occasions, he envies people around him. He feels like his entire life has no purpose and no meaning, and he’s completely faded to emptiness, to a sad existence based on killing bioweapons and serving his country. Does he feel proud about it? No, he doesn’t. 

It’s been a very long time since Leon felt pride. That feeling died and is now buried in the remains of Raccoon City, inside that police station where his life turned upside down. Now he’s only an empty shell of what he used to be. He’s rotting inside, craving something he knows he can’t have, and there’s nothing but a void inside him, consuming every inch of him. 

After serving his country for years, he started to get used to the idea that maybe he wasn’t made for a happy ending, and he shouldn’t bother with such things. He can’t afford the luxury of being with someone, because it means being vulnerable, and it also means he would have to open himself to things he swore he would never feel again. No, thank you. 

Things at work aren’t exactly the best, either. Years ago, Leon started to question himself about whether the government cared about their people, especially the ones he had to kill in order to save others. Leon couldn’t forget what happened in Spain — the entire village he was forced to end so he wouldn’t die. Perhaps they could’ve saved them; possibly they could’ve had a chance; maybe if… and this is where he dozes off thinking about the infinite possibilities. 

After what happened in Raccoon City, Leon knew he had lost faith. He knew things would never be the same after everything he saw that day. Sometimes, he finds himself thinking about Annette and William Birkin. He feels his body shivering when he remembers he had to fight for his life, clinging to something bigger than him. Survival. 

II. RINSE AND REPEAT

He has no social skills, and doesn't know how to interact with people anymore. It all feels weird and uncomfortable, and it makes him feel terrible. Sometimes he feels like he’s stuck in time and can’t have a proper conversation with someone normal. The worst part of his life is that he feels he’s carrying a weight on his shoulders that it wasn’t supposed to be his in the first place. He has the weight of the world with him, and there is no one to help him through it. Life made him depressed, cold and distant. Life has built him this way; he's shaped himself into something he’s not, and he can’t find himself. He’s lost. 

Leon can’t stop having nightmares about Raccoon City.

At this point, he just accepted that they wouldn't go away. It feels like he’s trapped inside his own mind, and there’s no turning back. Sometimes at night, he keeps looking at his ceiling imagining a different life, where he was a cop and happy. Usually, his nightmares are so dark and deep that when he wakes up, he finds solace in the sunlight, feeling relieved that he survived another night. When he doesn't sleep, when he’s too scared to close his eyes, he cries quietly, protected by the walls of his room, searching for assurance and a promise that everything will be fine. It doesn’t always work, but now he knows he can control his fears, and somehow, it helps him feel safe.

This time, his mission nearly got him killed. His entire body was full of bruises and wounds, and every part of him hurt. He felt his body swallowing a little, and he felt terrible again. He has blood under his nails, and he washes himself at least three times to make sure there’s nothing more on him than the burden of being a slave for the government.

Leon is paranoid; he can’t stand the fact that he has blood on his hands. If he sees a spot, he’ll clean it until there’s nothing left, and maybe he’s now too obsessed with the idea of being clean. It makes him feel sick to the bones, because he knows what he does and what it means. He knows that this guilt won’t be washed away like the blood on his hands, and certainly won’t get away from his head like it does from his clothes whenever he launders them. It’s a pretty shitty routine, but he’s used to it. 

Now he finds himself in a very dark place; he can’t eat without feeling guilty. He can’t do the basics of his chores because he can’t stop thinking about his life, regretting every decision he made. Everything he does seems mechanical, like he’s repeating the process over and over again, a perfect killing machine that has no one to care about. On Fridays, he finds himself sitting on his couch, in complete silence, holding an empty bottle. He knows he can’t drown himself in alcohol, no matter how much he wants it or how tempting it sounds, because the liquid doesn’t affect him anymore. It doesn't make the pain go away or silence the horrors he saw during his life. 

After three weeks inside his house, locked inside his room, Leon woke up with a strange feeling inside his chest. Something was telling him that this day would be different, like a big change would happen. For the first time in weeks, he decided to leave his place for a simple walk. He could do that; he could walk into the market and buy some real food or maybe get a haircut. He felt that he was able to allow himself to have an ordinary day. 

After taking a long shower, Leon decided to wear cozy and comfortable clothes. He was so used to his brutal routine that he almost forgot what it was like to have a normal day, but this time, he was willing to try something different. He took a deep breath before leaving his house, and when he felt the soft, cold breeze reaching his skin, he knew he could do that.

Step by step, Leon found himself walking towards the market, even enjoying the lovely view he had from his neighborhood. He doesn’t remember it to be so… gray. Sure, he knows what winter is, but he doesn’t remember the last time he actually stayed at his home during the winter. His lips turn into a small smirk, and he thinks how silly he is. When he reaches the small market, which is more of a store, he walks slowly, looking at what he might be buying - he’s done with frozen food. He stops at the veggie section and keeps looking at it, confused. 

“These aren’t fresh” a sweet voice is enough to wake him up from his trance. He looks in that direction, and all he sees is you.

“How can you tell that?” he asks you in visible confusion, which makes you smile. And that smile was enough to sparkle something oddly inside him. 

“Color, smell, texture,” you explained, still smiling and showing him a fresh vegetable. “This one is fresh."

"Thanks,” Leon replied awkwardly, taking the vegetable from your hand and placing it in his basket.

“You don’t come here very often. I know almost everyone who comes to buy food here,” you said next, glancing at him with curiosity. 

“I… have a busy schedule,” he says, still sounding awkward.

“Really? Well, you should definitely take some time to buy healthy food. I’m pretty sure you do a lot of workouts to keep your body in shape” you giggle, noticing the size of his muscles, which makes his face turn red.

“I’ll keep that in mind” Leon managed to say, although he wanted to dissipate from Earth.

“I can help with that” you suddenly said, analyzing him more carefully.

“With what?” Leon frowned, already feeling his heart beating ten times faster.

“I noticed you’re having difficulty with your right arm, which makes me think you got it hurt. If you’re planning to buy more, I can help with your bags” you offered, very polite and kind, catching him by surprise. 

“Thanks” Leon says, finding himself smiling, which is unusual. 

At first, having some company after so much time alone made him think it was strange. He wasn’t feeling ready to have a small conversation, but you didn’t seem bothered. In fact, you were enjoying walking to this stranger's house in complete silence. Fifteen minutes later, you were in front of his house in an awkward silence between the two of you. 

“I guess this is it” you smiled at him, and Leon found himself lost in your smile. 

“Yeah. Thank you” he said for the fifth time, which made you giggle a little. 

“Anything for a customer” you said to him, giving him his bags. “My parents are the owners, so…”

“You don’t seem too old” he said, and after a second, he felt more weird. “I mean…”

“Nah, it’s ok. This isn’t the first time people say I'm younger than I look”. You smiled again, thinking that this old man was very silly and cute. “I’m 25, don’t worry”

“I’m Leon, by the way” He finally says his name to you, stretching his hand in a very educated way.

“Nice to meet you, Leon” you said before shaking his hand. 

Leon took at least three weeks to return to the market. 

His initial thoughts about you were that he definitely felt weird in your presence. Maybe he felt that way because of his lack of social skills and because he really sucks when the subject is social conversation. He caught himself thinking too hard about the visual and evident contrast between the two of you; you were young, bright and smart, with a great future ahead of you, and plus, you came from a loving family. Leon, on the other hand, was an orphan used and abused by the government, their pet and a man who only knew pain and brutality. 

However, you were the first friendly face he saw after years. The way you were smiling and giggling at his awkward answers, it definitely made him feel something he thought he would never feel again. It was like you found the rookie cop inside him, and despite the fact that he barely said something, he felt normal around you. And that was more than enough. How could it happen so fast? 

“How can I help you?” you said before noticing it was him. “Oh, hi” 

“Hi” Leon is welcomed by that smile of yours. “I… um…”

“You came to buy more veggies?” you ask, still smiling at him. You think it’s cute to see him without any words. 

“No… I just came because I’m looking for food seasoning” Leon said, his face slightly turning red. “I’m trying new recipes, so…” 

“Yeah? What have you been trying?” you ask with sudden enthusiasm, leading him to the part with seasonings. 

“Nothing too risky” he answers vaguely, following you closely.

“What kind of seasonings do you like?” You turn back to face him as you show him the shelves with different types of seasonings. 

“I’m more into spicy flavors” Leon tells you, his attention going to the shelves. 

“It suits you” you said, giving him some space. You saw him smiling again. 

"How does spicy seasoning suit me?” he asks with a hint of curiosity. 

“You might think I’m weird, but… seeing from outside, you look like someone with a rough agenda and, apparently, whatever you do is dangerous. Personally, I think you suit perfectly spicy things” you said, hoping it would make sense. 

“I think I got your point,” Leon said, and then he found himself smiling for the second time. 

“Lucky me, right?” you laugh, walking back to the cashier. “Is this all for today?”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Leon nods, grabbing his wallet to pay for the seasonings. 

“How’s your arm?” you ask, taking his money and counting it. 

“It's better. I had to take a few painkillers, but it’s definitely better” he said, avoiding you for a few moments. 

“That’s great. I know a few herbs to help with the pain” you said, giving him the change from his purchase. 

“How so?” Leon asks with another hint of curiosity. 

“A great sorcerer doesn’t reveal her secrets” you wink playfully at him. “You need to earn that, soldier” 

“And how could I earn your secrets, great sorcerer?” Leon asks, enjoying your playful mood. 

“Maybe you can invite me for dinner and show me your cooking skills” you shake your shoulders and, for the second time, catching him by surprise. 

“You would love that, wouldn't you?” Leon said, and a slight smirk appeared on his lips. 

“Who knows?” You wink playfully at him, with another suggestive smile on your lips. 

The world has gone to hell, Leon thinks to himself. 

He starts to contemplate everything that has happened to him. When did this madness begin? It was back in Raccoon City? Oh, no. It is way older than that. Maybe his collapse started when his family died, and he was left an orphan; what happened in Raccoon City wasn’t really the beginning of his nightmare. It was the cherry on top of the torments that would become his life. 

Now that he’s coming back home from another mission, he can’t stop thinking how his life could’ve been if Umbrella had never happened. If those bioweapons were never created, defying every natural order. He looks outside his window, and he just can’t stop blaming himself for Tall Oaks. 

What has become of this world? Leon thinks. Where did I go wrong? 

His life is an entire mistake. It just goes on and on. His family first, then Raccoon City. Tricell, Los Illuminados, Uroboros and, finally, that nightmare at Tall Oaks. Leon takes a deep breath. He feels his hands shaking and closes his eyes, forcing himself to forget. How silly he is!

The future is a hell that’s only getting worse. 

III. THE PAIN OF REMEMBERING

You weren't expecting Leon to find the note with your number that you left on his seasonings, the same way you weren't expecting him to call you.

However, something about him got your attention the minute he stepped foot inside the store. He wasn't like anything you had seen before; he was definitely something else. 

After almost four weeks since the last time you saw him, you got a call from an unknown number. It was pretty late at night, but your curiosity won the battle within you, and you had to pick up the phone. With a groggy voice of sleep, you saw the number and frowned.

“Hello?” You ask, followed by a big yawning. It was one in the morning. 

“Hi… um, it's Leon” he says with some urgency, to which you jump from your bed. “I'm sorry to wake you up” 

“No, don't worry. I wasn't sleeping” you lied, forcing yourself not to yawn again. 

“I know it's late, but… I was thinking about that dinner…” he says, sounding somehow hopeful. “Maybe you could come later and… talk?” 

“Yeah, sure. Can you pick me up?” You ask him, and a smile appears on your lips as you answer him. 

“Of course. At seven?” 

“At seven, it is,” you smiled again. 

As soon as the call ended, he was in complete shock. For some reason, Leon felt you wouldn’t accept his invitation, especially after being alone for so long. His heart was beating faster inside his chest, and he had to remind himself that it was just a casual date between… two friends? Could you possibly be his friend? 

Leon felt anxious, something he only felt when he was on his missions. 

Suddenly, the mere thought of having you at his home with him sounded terrifying. He felt like it would end in a complete disaster, and you wouldn’t see him ever again. Then, Leon had to stop and calm himself down, knowing it was his trauma trying to get the best of him. After everything he went through in his life, being able to trust someone proved to be a difficult task. He felt scared, and his mind was racing with thousands of different thoughts, each worse than the other. 

Betrayal is the word that defines Leon. 

He was betrayed before and multiple times, which left him with a lot of insecurities and traumas to the point he feels that he can’t trust anyone, which led to another set of insecurities. Leon feels that he isn’t enough anymore, that he can’t provide the proper attention someone might need from him, and that he can’t be in a relationship because of his problems. The truth is, he can’t be in a relationship until he leaves his trauma behind, and he knows it. That’s the easy part, but the hard one is how to let it go. 

Later that day, Leon finally had the courage to clean his house. He needed some motivation to get rid of his depression, and nothing was better than finally allowing himself to have some company besides his solitude. His house smelled pretty good, everything was clean, and his furniture was even shining. He opened the curtains, and the sunlight entered his living room. He took a deep breath with the fresh air that came inside, and smiled, feeling somehow proud and happy. 

At seven, you were waiting outside the store, scrolling through your phone, when you saw Leon approaching on his motorcycle. You were gorgeous, wearing a beautiful dress and covered by a black leather jacket — the perfect contrast that suited you well. Leon was completely mesmerized by the sight of you - so beautiful, he thought. 

“Hey, there” you waved at him as he parked next to you. 

“Hi,” Leon replies, sounding embarrassed. “You look beautiful”

“You too, handsome” you said playfully, taking the helmet from his hand and sitting behind him, your hands holding him tight. You didn’t notice the small blush on his cheeks. 

"Are you okay back there?” Leon asks you, making sure you were fine before starting the engines. 

“Yeah, I’m fine” you said, nodding your head, and smiling when he started to drive his bike to his place. 

You two didn’t take long enough to reach his place. Leon offered you his hand so you had support to get out of his bike, and he even opened the front door for you. He led you inside his house, and everything inside was enough to show you the kind of man he was; his home was big, but simple. He had a lot of comfort there, but it seemed like he didn't spend much time at his place. You saw some photos at the fireplace, a few when he was younger, at some training camp with his possible friends. 

“How old were you when you took these?” you asked him with curiosity. 

“I was twenty-one” he said, grabbing the wine and the glasses. 

“So young” you whispered, noticing that in some pictures, he was sad. 

Leon took another deep breath. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why couldn’t he be just normal for once? Why did everything have to happen to him? You were standing there, so gracefully, observing his old photographs, so young and full of life, with no baggage with you. Someone actually happy and alive. If you knew how much he envies this. 

“People say that our eyes are the windows to our soul” you turn to face him, noticing his sudden silence. “Yours are so sad and broken… what happened to your neck?”

Instinctively, his hand reaches his neck, and Leon feels the bandage perfectly secured on his skin, with a small spot of blood. Gladly, it was enough to change the subject, because he was shocked enough by what you said about his broken soul. If you only knew. 

“I, um… got hurt on my job. It’s nothing.” Leon tries to avoid speaking about his past. 

“It seems pretty bad” you step closer to him, your hand gently touching his bandage. 

“It’s nothing… trust me” Leon smiles weakly, looking down. His heart is beating so fast inside his chest that he could explode any time. “I’m fine” 

“Then explain why you are so nervous around me” you whispered, now softly touching his cheek. 

Leon felt he stopped breathing, like his lungs decided to leave him alone and deal with the matter himself; how powerful your touch felt. It was enough to break every wall he built around himself for years; it was enough to make him break. And it was only a soft and kind touch. He slowly closed his eyes, his breath becoming normal again, and he allowed himself to just feel it. 

“I don’t know what on earth happened to you…” your voice is full of kindness as you speak, now seeing him hold your hand as you keep touching his cheek. “But I’m always here if you decide to talk” 

Leon was reaching his breaking point. 

He was used to being a slave, always using his body, mind and soul to provide safety for the others without them knowing one damn thing about it; he was used to always being alone, to the point that kindness was a strange feeling, almost not existing at all and that he didn’t deserve it. But here you are. 

“It hurts to remember,” he confessed, his voice a low whisper. “I tried to forget it, but I can’t” 

When he felt you wrapping your arms around his body and your warmth embracing him, Leon felt his eyes getting wet. He was so deeply touch starved, craving something so human, that when he got it, he knew he was going to break. His mind was racing, and his body was trying to process the feeling and react in the proper way. He felt so many emotions at once that he thought he was going insane. 

“Please, keep holding me” Leon begs, his arms finding their way through your back as he hugs you back. “Because I know I’ll fall if you let me go” 

After that night, it took almost two months until Leon decided to show up at the store to see you again. He felt nervous, but at this point, he realized that, for some reason, he couldn’t stay away from you; he felt that you had some type of magnetism enough to keep him close, which made him feel comfortable, something he hadn't felt in a while. 

However, before he went to the store to see you, he needed courage. Leon thought you would be upset with him after being ghosted for almost two months, although he felt responsible for it, since he never told you the nature of his job or why he was so absent. Sadly, Leon was again in a spiral of sadness and depression. His last mission was a disaster, and Leon knew he had no control over his feelings again. He was sitting on his bed, contemplating the bottle in his hands. The curtains were closed, and the atmosphere inside his room was darker. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, and then, he’s there again. 

June 29, 2013. Tall Oaks, USA

“It might create more problems than it solves…” the voice of the president echoes inside his head as he points his gun towards the said person.

Leon doesn't recognize the man in front of him, or what he used to be. He keeps his gun raised, his grasp around the trigger getting tight by the second he makes his decision. His voice comes and goes, creating a tense atmosphere around him. 

“Bio-organic weapons are a global threat and we are partly to blame…” Benford said once to Leon when he expressed his desire to expose the truth about the Raccoon City Incident. He looks at the living corpse in front of him. Tick tack. He knows what he needs to do. “I’ve always valued your friendship, Leon… It’s time to take responsibility and end this mess” 

He shakes his head, somehow returning to his reality. 

“Stay right where you are!” Leon said, his voice sounding cracked and angry. The corpse starts walking towards him and as a reflex, his grip gets more tight. “Mr. President!” 

The zombie starts walking towards him and the woman next to him. He hesitates for a moment, unsure and sure about what he needs to do. Every part of him screams and begs, trying to find a solution. He knows it’s too late. He can’t save the president, he can’t save anyone. 

“Don’t make me do this” Leon gritted his teeth, trying to find any reason to avoid what needed to be done. It happens fast. Adam Benford, the former president of the United States and now a corpse, throws himself towards her. “Adam!” Leon screams.

He pulls the trigger. 

And there’s only blood. 

He gets out of his thoughts when he hears someone knocking on his front door. It doesn't take too long for him to finally stand up and see who’s there, and, inside his mind, he’s already preparing himself to tell this person to leave him alone, but his entire demeanor changes when he opens the door, and all he sees there is you. 

“You’re back” you smiled warmly at him, your cheeks red because of the cold temperature. “I wasn’t sure you were home” 

“What are you doing here?” Leon’s first question isn't as welcome as you thought it would be. 

“A friend can’t see a friend?” you answered simply, and the smile never left your lips. 

“I’m sorry” he sighs, giving you space to enter his place. “I didn’t mean to be rude” 

“Don’t worry” you said, removing your scarf and hat. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, I guess” Leon nods slowly, and you notice he’s not entirely well. 

“Breakfast?” you ask him, wanting to confirm your suspicions, and he nods quietly. 

You had difficulty finding yourself inside his place, since you’ve been there only once. You notice that he’s quiet, and despite that fact, which is completely normal for him, you know that there’s something wrong. So, you decided to go simple with his breakfast. Almost forty minutes later, you came back with a plate full of pancakes, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, and some orange juice. 

He leisurely used his knife and fork to eat the food you made. The careful manner in which he ate wasn’t due to his cautious nature, but rather because he had a terrible hangover that messed with his coordination, and rushing could easily lead to a slip of the hand and his shaking. Leon was a pretty man, and he could easily take on leading roles in Hollywood blockbusters. However, he currently sported a scruffy beard, exuded a weary atmosphere, and radiated fatigue and discontent. 

“I think I reached rock bottom,” Leon finally says, but he avoids your gaze at all costs. 

“Then I’ll help you get out of there” you said with kindness, your pinky finger interlocking with his. 

IV. GRIEF AND BARGAIN 

The path to healing isn’t always easy, and now Leon is aware of that. 

The year is now 2014 and he’s struggling to forget what happened a year ago. Sometimes, when his mind is quiet, he starts to wonder. Is it possible that there could have been a world without Umbrella and zombies? Leon scoffed and shook off his sweet dreams. A world without zombies? That's something from a long time ago. The future is only going to become a worse hell. Then, he has to remind himself about the great things he has in life. You are one of these things.

Although he has your support, he knows that he’ll only get better walking this path by himself. The winter deciduous forest looked like branches made of human bones. A mixed forest with a walking path spread out. This is a high-end residential area in Bethesda, Maryland, where congressmen and bureaucrats commuting to Washington spend their nights. In the depths of a thicket, there was a slightly open gentle sloping area where the desired building was located. It was a designer house filled with a sense of openness, with all outer walls covered in glass, and it appeared like a model intended to showcase beautiful scenery rather than a place for people to live in. 

The luxury was excessive to the point where it seemed somewhat like a toy. Leon had hidden himself in the thicket away from the road and was monitoring the designer house through binoculars with night vision capabilities. It was an unacknowledged fact, but a traitor to the country was living in this mansion. Senator Steven Air, who had sold information to a bioterrorist organization, was one of many government officials who had been involved in the incident in Tall Oaks where the President became a victim of B.O.W. Simmons, the President's aide, was among those who betrayed the government. And Leon still blames himself for what happened that night. 

Currently, fifteen members of the Division of Security Operations (DSO) and two stealth drones have surrounded Steven's mansion. It was necessary to capture him and extract plenty of information before bringing him to trial. According to reports from aerial surveillance, Steven was on his way home by car from Washington. The distance from the White House to Bethesda was approximately twelve kilometers, and it would take about thirty minutes if he drove fast. Leon shifted his focus to his shoulder holster with a handgun. Of course, capturing him alive was best, but there was no hesitation in shooting the traitor if he resisted.

Leon suddenly remembers. This is Bethesda. The name is derived from the Bible. From the Gospel of John–

“Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie — the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years."

Jesus healed the man who had been sick for 38 years. God's love and His miracles. Bravo. That's exactly what this world needs in this hell.

"Target approaching."

As he thinks about the Bible, a communication comes through his earpiece. It's a report from the overhead surveillance team flying a drone. A roadway that weaves through a grove of mixed trees was approached by Stephen's white Porsche, an elegant luxury car resembling a graceful white swan. Perhaps dozens, hundreds of people may have died to buy that car. Such is the life of a villain.

"Visual on the target vehicle. Secure upon my GO signal," Leon whispered into his radio microphone. Both the earphones and microphone were of a bone conduction type that excelled in noise resistance. It converts vocal cord vibrations transmitted through the skull directly into voice signals. It was a perfect gadget for special operations where one couldn't make loud noises or miss instructions in the midst of noise. 

The Porsche approached the garage. 

"GO," Leon said sharply. 

At that moment, two SUVs that had been hiding in a blind spot by the roadway started their engines like barking dogs and closed in on the Porsche at tremendous speed, trapping it in a pincer movement as planned. The driver of the Porsche was Stephen's secretary, with a bodyguard in the passenger seat and Stephen himself in the back seat. 

Suddenly trapped from the front and back, they were thrown into confusion. Leon wondered – would the bodyguard or secretary resist? There was no doubt that they were carrying guns. He didn't want to give them unnecessary visibility, but he would deal with it when the time came. The agents jumped out of the trees. In the next moment, Stephen's Porsche exploded. 

A deafening roar and shock. The high-performance explosive device planted under the car's body lifted the Porsche several meters off the ground, engulfing it in flames. And caught up in it, the DSO's SUVs overturned as well. The window glass of all the cars shattered into tiny pieces, the car bodies twisted and burned the people inside. All six agents from the team on foot, including Leon himself, were blown backwards by the force of the blast. Leon still thinks like he’s floating in the air, an eerie feeling of weightlessness that ended when he felt his body slamming against a tree trunk. In those fleeting moments, his consciousness waned, and it was the closest he had come to death.

Yet, it seemed the Grim Reaper was not yet ready to claim him. 

Pain, intense and searing, jolted Leon’s awareness back to life, a grunt of pain escaping his lips. Leon struggled to his feet, and he threw up, retching repeatedly. His consciousness ebbed and flowed like waves, and he knew that rest was essential. Leon suspected that his ribs and collarbone were either fractured or cracked, but, fortunately, his arms and legs remained unbroken. Gritting his teeth, he managed to force his dislocated left shoulder joint back into place, enduring the excruciating pain, as he tried to work out which way was up. 

There are bruises littered across his skin, scratches and abrasions where the bark of the tree tore his flesh. The shock of the explosion and the fear of death… an unpleasant feeling of internal organs turning over welled up. No matter how many times he experienced it, he could never get used to the terror of a close-range explosion. The air was knocked from his lungs; his breathing temporarily stopped; his eardrums were about to burst; and his knees were weak. He can barely stand. Leon finally sits up, willing his agent training to give him a sense of urgency even though his body is screaming in agony. The stench of gasoline fills the air, but Leon can barely smell it. His sense of smell and hearing are both almost gone. What the hell happened? Leon asked himself in front of the burning Porsche.

He feels paralyzed. 

It was three in the morning when your phone started to ring. 

It was an unknown number, and you had to fight the necessity of hanging up; something inside you told you to pick up the call, which you did. It was Leon, and the way his voice sounded on the phone made you aware that something bad had happened. Terrible, nonetheless. You drove to his location, and you found yourself shocked when you found smoke, fire and the smell of gasoline among a lot of government agents and military personnel. You found Leon sitting in the back of an ambulance, his body covered by a blanket, as he was examined by a paramedic. Not only that, but you had credentials to enter that isolated area, and the way those agents were rushing from one side to the other, talking on their phones, made it clear that someone important had died. You made your way towards Leon, not daring to look around, and when you reached him, you saw tears in his eyes. You hugged him tight, like you were holding the world in your hands. 

“It’s ok, I got you” you said to him, your words full of assurance and kindness. 

Leon refused to be taken to the hospital; instead, he asked you to drive him back home, since he felt he couldn’t do it on his own. The ride back to his place was silent, and you decided to respect his space, although you saw him trying to find solace in something real. He couldn’t stop playing with his finger, showing an elevated level of stress and anxiety. You have never seen him like this before. 

“Can you stay?” Leon suddenly asked when you pulled over in front of his house. “I… don’t want to be alone” 

“Yeah, sure” you nodded, noticing how vulnerable he was, which was odd. 

You heard him groaning in pain once he got out of your car, but he refused your help, insisting he was fine. Knowing him well at this point, you gently held his hand, offering nothing but your support, and Leon quietly appreciated your effort. You helped him sit on his couch and heard him mutter something only he could understand. Judging by the look on his face and the way his hands were still shaking, you knew he was in shock. 

“Do you have any first aid kits or something?” you asked him, hoping you would gain his attention. 

“I’m fine” Leon replies, his eyes fixated on his shaky hands. You sat next to him, holding his hands and scratching his skin softly. 

“It’s ok not to be okay." Your voice is almost a whisper as you look into his blue eyes. “You don’t have to be tough all the time” 

You saw him reach the breaking point. 

Feeling embraced by your kindness and safety, Leon finally allowed himself to feel his emotions — the same ones he fought hard to bury deep inside him — in the same place he swore he would never visit again. In the cozy atmosphere of his living room, having nothing but you as solace, the brunette agent gave himself a break, and when he did that, his eyes started to get watery.

After Raccoon City, Leon shut himself up so he wouldn’t be hurt ever again. He used to keep his emotions contained; he used to not think of them. He kept everything bottled up, because he knew he couldn’t handle it. Leon was so traumatized that the way he dealt with his feelings was to pretend they didn’t exist, in the first place. After Spain, it got worse. Nightmares after nightmares, the paranoia of still being infected with Las Plagas, everything that came after this. 

But here you are, telling him that it is ok not to be okay, that he doesn’t have to be tough, and that it is okay to feel and to be vulnerable. He couldn’t stop sobbing; his hands were still shaking, but he didn't even care about this at the moment. Gently, you started to play with his hair, your fingers slowly going up and down on his head, providing comfort and care — exactly what he’s been missing his entire life. 

“I lost them all” Leon started to say through sobs. “I saw them dead” 

“It wasn’t your fault” you assured him with calm words. 

“I failed them," he says as he looks at you, his blue eyes shining with tears as they fall through his skin. 

“That’s not true. You didn’t know the car was about to explode or whatever happened there” You tried to calm him down. 

“We were watching him; it was my responsibility to make sure they would be safe… it was my job to ensure that” Leon sobs again, and you can see he’s struggling to breathe due to his anxiety attack. 

“Listen, you’re too nervous right now. Come on, take a deep breath with me” you said, hoping he would listen and cope. 

Leon nods between sobs and takes several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. You took a glass of water and gave it to him, then you took his hand into yours, whispering words of assurance and kindness. You decided to put him to rest, and it wasn’t necessary to drag Leon into his bed; the moment you step foot inside his room, you can see how severe his depression is. Successfully, you were able to lay him down and remove at least his boots. Leon curled into his blankets and muffled his sobs with his pillows. 

“Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?” you ask, sitting on his bed with him, moving his hair from his eyes. He nodded silently. 

Slowly, his sobs turned into sniffs, and Leon finally fell asleep. It took almost an hour to calm him down completely, but now he was safe and sound into a peaceful slumber, or what appears to be. You don’t recall exactly when you fell asleep on his bed, but you certainly remember when you woke up to the sound of his screams. Leon never told you about his nightmares, and you weren’t expecting that. His chest was drenched in sweat, and he seemed like he couldn’t breathe. His eyes were filled with fear, and he was shaking head to toe. 

“Fuck” Leon mutters, his hand running through his hair. 

“What happened?” you ask him after turning the lights on. 

“Just a nightmare…” he whispers, trying to calm down again. 

“How frequent are they?” It was a bold question, but you needed to know. 

“Every night” Leon ignores your glance, focusing on his shaky hands again. 

“Here, drink it” you give him a glass of water with sugar to calm his nerves. You already had that glass with you the moment you went with him to his room. 

“Do you even like me?” Leon suddenly asks you. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re so kind, beautiful, and young, with so much in your future” Leon sighs heavily. “Why would you be with a… broken man like me? I have nothing to offer but traumas and the big baggage of my shitty life” 

The pressure you put on biting your lip was so intense that it was enough to cut your skin and make it bleed. 

“Who says you have nothing to offer? I don’t think that’s true. You’re a wonderful person, Leon. I can see it every day when you come to see me at the store. The way you smile whenever you are around me, the way your eyes shine…” you said to him, hoping it would be enough to give him some comfort. “I don’t see you as a broken person or a man with the baggage of a shitty life. I can’t imagine what must have happened to you, and I know it must be difficult and hard because that's what I see, but, Leon, the darkness around you doesn’t define who you are. Whatever life did to you, it doesn't dictate your present or future."

No matter how many kind words you say, it isn’t enough for him. Leon blames himself for what happened, and you know he won’t forget it so soon. How can he? Those men trusted him and followed him, and now, they’re all dead. Leon thinks he should’ve saved them, even though he knows he couldn’t guess the car was about to explode. 

“I wish I could heal your soul so you wouldn’t suffer anymore, but I can’t” you sigh, then look at his hand. “I wish I could fight all of your demons, but I can’t do that. I’m here and I don’t intend to leave you alone” 

After holding his hand, it was the first night Leon actually slept without any more nightmares. When he woke up the next morning, he felt his eyes heavy and he instantly remembered how he cried the night before after his entire squad was murdered. Then, he also remembered that you were there with him the whole time. Finally, he noticed how strange that feeling was - the feeling of being comforted instead of comforting others. It was a strange feeling indeed, but it was a good one. 

Lazily, he stood up from his bed and decided to look at himself in the mirror, washing his face and taking a moment to see the collateral damage caused by the bomb. There were a few bruises and cuts on his skin, but huge purple marks on his shoulder, which he dislocated. It still hurts, but it’s enough to keep him in the real world. He’s still alive.  

“Morning, princess” you greeted him in his kitchen. “I made breakfast” 

“You shouldn’t worry about that, y’know?” Leon says, leaning against his cabinet. 

“Too late for that. Now is my job to worry about ya” you said, opening the cabinet above your head on tiptoe, which made him smirk. “Are you feeling better?” 

“Yeah, I guess so” he says, nodding his head and helping you get the cornflakes. “Thank you… for sticking up with me last night” 

“You know I care about you, right? Since day one” you glance at him with a warm smile. “I really do” 

“I care about you, too” Leon blushes slightly. “More than I can tell” 

You know Leon pretty well at this point and you know he has trouble speaking of his feelings. You know he can’t express himself properly, and you ain’t stupid. You know someone has hurt him before and you understand why he is the way he is. Fortunately, you are very patient, and that’s enough for now, because you don’t mind giving him time and space. 

“I can look at your wounds; maybe I can help” you offered, finishing preparing the breakfast. 

“This means I finally earned your secrets?” Leon asks, a small smile on his lips, as he references the conversation you had with him a few months ago. 

“You surely did." You nodded, smiling. “Let’s eat first, then I’ll take a look at it” 

Leon seemed to enjoy the breakfast you made for him, and, for the first time since you two met, he genuinely seemed happy. However, you knew deep inside he was trying and fighting hard to hide his true feelings; losing his squad certainly shattered him inside, and caused more damage to him than you could ever imagine. 

Leon is a master when it comes to hiding his feelings. All over the years, Leon had built around himself an impenetrable shell, not allowing anyone to get closer, and all of that because he is scared of being hurt again. However, if the explosion never happened, if his men never died the way they did, Leon wouldn’t be pretending he’s fine when you know he’s not. The damage is so intense that you’re afraid he won’t recover. It’ll always be there with him, rotting inside him. 

You weren’t expecting so many wounds all at once, but when he took off his shirt and you saw his bruised skin, you took a deep breath. He had so many marks, so many stories. You wanted to ask, you wanted to know, but Leon wasn’t ready to share it yet. 

“I got this one back in Raccoon City” Leon quietly says, pointing to the scar on his left shoulder. “I got shot” 

“How did this happen?” you decided to ask him as you gently cleaned a few cuts he had.  

“I was helping a woman named Ada Wong to get a sample of G-Virus, and only a scientist named Annette Birkin had this sample. We were trying to find her and, when we did, she started to shoot Ada. I jumped in front of her, that’s why I got shot” Leon sighs, recalling the events that happened in the sewers. 

“This Ada seems very important to you” you smiled at him, cleaning the other cut he had on his neck.  

“She was, but it was a long time ago” Leon avoids your gaze. “Not anymore” 

“She was the one that hurt you?” you ask him very carefully. 

Leon didn’t answer, but his silence speaks for himself. You can see the extension of the damage and how Leon still struggles to deal with whatever happened between him and Ada. He stays silent, maybe trying to understand how his life turned into this mess. Then, he starts to count every time he was betrayed before until this very moment. His blue irises meet yours and all he feels is… peace. There’s no inner storms inside him, he feels completely at ease. 

“If I ask you a favor…” Leon suddenly says, changing the conversation. 

“What do you need?” you ask him without hesitation. 

“Could you come with me to the morgue? There’s something I need to do” Leon sighs, preparing himself for what’s about to happen. 

“Of course. I’ll tell my parents I’ll go to the store later” you nodded, quickly picking up your phone to text them. 

Leon partially felt guilty, but you were so willing to go with him that he changed his mind after you helped him dress himself — the way he dislocated his shoulder still hurts and he has difficulty with it. You drove to the morgue and judging by the interior of the building, you found out Leon was some sort of agent working for the government. You were able to read the name of the organization. Division of Security Operations. 

“So you’re a badass agent, huh?” you ask with enthusiasm as you walk next to him. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m a badass” Leon chuckles, still feeling tense. 

“Well, if you put your neck at stake to save your country, then you’re definitely a badass” you added, giving him a warm smile. 

When you both stepped inside the morgue, he reached out for your hand, seeking any support you could give him. The back wall was a box-shaped cold storage room, and a row of dissecting tables lined the spacious room. And on those dissecting tables were numerous body bags. It's a body bag with the DSO logo on it. Do they really need a logo even on something like this? Irony floated within Leon's chest. Are they planning to sell products with the logo on them, like DSO-branded body bags, DSO-logoed cigarette cases, DSO-logoed pass cases...?

He walked between the body bags to the sound of his boots. Unlike normal bodies, the victims of b.o.w - related incidents were usually sent for examination to specialized research institutions. Although this time the cause of death was due to a bomb, not a zombie attack, the instruction from above was to send the bodies to various laboratories, so they followed suit. This DSO branch’s mortuary was a relay point for passing the bodies from the scene to the laboratory, like a baton in a relay race. It wasn’t easy to simply bury them in a graveyard. The morgue itself wasn’t scary, but the corpses were scary because they stimulated the imagination. 

“Would they suddenly start moving? Would I end up like this too?” Leon thinks to himself a little bit loud, enough for you to hear him.

“You won’t” you whispered, squeezing his hand to let him know you were there.  

Watching the corpses closely would cause a moment where the elongated shadows would appear like monsters. However, that was before Raccoon City. He had seen too many moments where the dead came back to life. 

“I’m not scared of the mortuary anymore; recently, I’ve been thinking about it a lot” Leon frowned as he moved towards the back while swirling his thoughts. He thought he heard a sound from there minutes before. 

“What do you mean?” you ask him with curiosity as he approaches one of the bags. 

“I was constantly thinking about death and ending everything. I was depressed and thought I had no hope left” Leon confessed, his eyes locked on the body bags in front of him. “But now… I don’t think about that anymore”

He glances at you, finally. Slowly, his eyes meet your hand while you’re holding him and there’s a small smile on his lips, then his blue irises find yours again. 

“I used to be scared of the morgue… but coming here with you… is something else” Leon says next. “I couldn’t do this alone” 

“I’m glad I can help” you said to him with your usual kindness. 

But he stops and turns his attention back to the body bags and sighs. His entire demeanor changed and suddenly, he found himself fighting hard to keep doing this. He needed that. He owed his men at least this final goodbye. 

“What kind of adult did I want to become when I was a child?” Leon thinks to himself as he approached one of the body bags. 

The zipper was slightly open, and the body bag seemed like it was about to move any moment. It’s common for something that seems like it’s about to move to actually move.

Leon carelessly closed the zipper. Was it because of the sharp sound that, suddenly, another body bag bounced behind him? Inside the body bag, the zombie was wiggling and struggling. It seemed unhappy, as if it had been woken up from a deep sleep by force. Leon pulled out his gun from his holster and squeezed the trigger. 

“What kind of adult did I want to become? I definitely didn’t want a life like this” 

V. ACCEPTANCE 

After everything that happened with his squad, Leon knew he needed time off of his office. Decided to get his mind off everything and take a break, Leon chose the Rocky Mountains in Colorado as his destination. Instead of going there alone, he thought it would be good to spend more time with you, mostly because he felt safe around you and due to the nature of his job and everything he saw, he needed to feel that safety only you provided him.  

You had to explain to your parents why you would be going on a vacation, but they understood with no problems; they didn’t know about Leon because you were fearing some trouble because of the age gap, so you felt they weren’t exactly ready to meet him. How could you explain to them you were apparently dating a man eleven years older than you? It would be one hell of a surprise. 

It was 9 a.m. in the mountainous area near Rocky Mountain National Park, located in northern Colorado. The national park was about a two-hour drive from the state capital, Denver. Along the way, there were several viewpoints where numerous travelers parked their cars to enjoy the scenic beauty. Even in the mountainous region of the Rockies, the mountains around this area were not exceptionally high. They were just before the tree line, covered with spruce and fir trees on the subalpine slopes. The forest appeared like a beautifully groomed brush, while wildflowers bloomed modestly, sheltered by large rocks.

“This place is incredible” you sound mesmerized by the incredible view from the hotel. 

“You haven’t been in places like this before?” Leon asks you with curiosity. 

“I barely leave my house” you chuckle, leaving your bag on the bed. “I just work at my parent’s store and go to college” 

“It feels like I’m dating a baby” Leon chuckles, also leaving his bag next to yours. 

“We’re dating, huh?” you teased, taking off your sneakers. 

“Yeah, we are” Leon nods his head, smiling. “I know I haven’t officially asked you, but I’m too old for that” 

“It’s fine, old man. I’m just messing with you” you said, playing with his fingers. 

“Old man? Now I’m offended” Leon teases back, smiling. 

“You said it first” you replied to him, your hands reaching his brown hair. “By the way… I have something for you” 

Leon glanced at you, frowning. The mischievous smile on your lips immediately told him you were planning something. He sat up on the bed and kept his eyes fixed on you, waiting patiently for whatever you were about to do. 

“I got you a birthday present” you said with enthusiasm, catching him by surprise. “I know I’m a few days late, but I wanted to give you something for your 37th birthday” 

“You didn’t have to” Leon whispered in shock as you gave him the small box. 

He unwrapped the present you gave him and found a beautiful dagger, silver and shining, also pretty sharp. Leon knew immediately that you probably paid a lot on that and he felt bad. He took a deep breath and glanced at you. 

“This was very expensive. You shouldn’t waste your money with me like that” Leon says to you. 

“It’s a gift. You can’t give it back” you said to him, a hint of playfulness in your voice as you insisted for him to keep it. 

“That’s not fair” Leon complains, laughing softly. 

“It’s pretty fair to me, though” you said to him, smirking. “It’s just a dagger, not a diamond or something related. I know your job is kind of dangerous and you might need it” 

“Okay, you win. I’ll take it” Leon sighs in defeat. “About my job… I know I haven’t been extremely open about it, but…” 

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to feel forced to share this with me if you don’t feel ready” you stopped him before he could finish his sentence. 

“I wish I could be more open to you” Leon glanced at his hands, feeling bad because of that. 

“Start simple and small. You don’t have to tell me absolutely everything at once” you placed your hand on his shoulder, petting him. 

“Simple and small? How could I do that?” Leon frowned at the idea. He always thought it was impossible to open up about his trauma. 

You pondered for a few moments, thinking about a way to help him talk about his issues in a positive way. 

“Start with something like… why don't you like dogs?” you suggested. A while ago you noticed Leon had a certain aversion to dogs. 

“I… um… I was attacked by dogs in Raccoon City. They weren’t common dogs, they were infected, something like that” Leon found himself surprised by the way he spoke about this issue so easily. “Then, at Spain, I had a few encounters with wolves also infected with a parasite, monstrous things” 

“See? That one was pretty easy” you said, encouraging him to keep talking. “Wanna try to say something else?” 

Leon thought about your question for minutes; inside his head, everything that has happened to him was like an endless movie. The trauma, the pain and the events that seem to be haunting him to this day. It was hard to pick one, but then, he reminds himself of your words of being simple and small. He takes a deep breath and quietly, he convinces himself that he can do this. 

“Back at Raccoon City, it was my first day at the force and I was 21 at the time” Leon starts, his eyes focused on something else. “I was late, but I think that’s why I’m still alive” 

While he was telling you the horrors he saw, you gently placed your hand on his, to let him know you’re there for him. It was a simple and kind gesture, but for him, it meant the world. Leon was only familiar with danger and brutality, so having you by his side providing comfort was enough to penetrate the depth of his former persona. It was enough to rescue the rookie cop buried inside those walls. 

“After that night… everything changed. I’m here because of what I did to survive and I’m not exactly proud of it. I can’t stop blaming myself for my past actions, but…” Leon suddenly stops, taking another deep breath. 

“You can’t control everything around you, Leon. And not everything that happens to us is our fault. You couldn’t know you were going to be stalked and nearly killed on your first day… you didn't know that there was a virus outbreak in Raccoon City that night…” you said to him, placing your hand on his shoulder. “You need to understand that this isn’t your baggage to carry. What happened that day wasn’t your fault” 

Leon had your words playing on repeat inside his head. Even though he was early in the morning drinking his sorrows away, he was still thinking about what you said. He also felt partially guilty for leaving you asleep in the bed while he was drinking, but the other part of him told you knew him pretty well and you wouldn’t be judging him for this. His head was a roller coaster and at this very moment, he wasn’t at the top. 

Leon sat on the first floor of a lodge-style hotel in the rural town. The hotel was two stories tall, made of reinforced concrete, but designed to resemble traditional log construction. There was only one waiter and one chef, making it far from a trendy establishment — a rather run-down place. He was having breakfast in the first-floor restaurant. Though the restaurant wasn't popular, the food was decent. Approaching footsteps came from behind him — two sets of them.

"--To come fully armed to such a peaceful town," Leon said without turning around.

"Leon S. Kennedy, the ace of the DSO, a special agent organization directly under the President of the United States," a voice replied.

Finally, he turned around to see Chris Redfield and Rebecca Chambers standing there.

"Chris and... oh, the renowned expert in biohazard research, Professor Rebecca Chambers. What do you want?" he asked.

"It's work. Cooperate," Chris said in an uncompromising tone.

Chris and Rebecca sat across from him. And it was noticeable that he wore an annoyed expression. 

"I'm on vacation." 

"...In the past, while protecting the President's daughter, Ashley Graham, you fought and annihilated the cult group Los Illuminados. They were using special bio-organic weapons called Plagas," Chris said.

"I've forgotten about that old stuff," Leon replied simply.

"Do you plan on loafing around in this town for another week?" Chris asked.

"I don't know what will happen in the future," Leon retorted.

"Beer, please," Rebecca chuckled at the reference to an old movie, while Chris wore an unamused expression.

Leon called over a passing waitress with a casual wave to place his order, but Chris interrupted him.

"Cancel the beer."

"No, it's not canceled."

“Come on… what the fuck?!”

"I don't need any more alcohol."

"Cut it out. What's going on?"

"That's my line."

The waitress looked between the two of them suspiciously and before walking away. Eventually, Leon pulled out a flask from his back pocket and took a swig as a substitute for the additional order that couldn't be fulfilled.

"You–!" Chris leaned forward.

"Enough, both of you," Rebecca interjected. "--Leon. We apologize for disturbing your vacation. However, we need the information you possess," Rebecca said.

Finally, Leon showed a willingness to listen.

"...What's the situation?" he asked.

Chris and Rebecca had to explain to him what happened earlier at the university. The case was simple. Glenn Arias was a new threat and they needed to stop him at all costs. However, they didn’t know how Leon was suffering inside; they couldn’t know about the recent events. Leon wearily intertwines his gestures and continues, 

"Just before I took my vacation... I was involved in a DSO mission in Bethesda to apprehend a treacherous senator who was selling internal information to a bioterrorist organization." 

The disgusted irritation was evident in his movements, his expression, and his voice. 

"You know..." Leon begins. "Here's the thing: the informant we used betrayed us. We fell into a trap instead. A massive explosion killed many of my colleagues... and then there was the incident with the resurrection of the corpses you guys were involved in... It's all a mess," 

Leon explains, letting out a heavy sigh. It's a sigh that escapes unintentionally, like a burden he carries.

"I had planned to become a police officer in Raccoon City. It was my dream job. But on my first day, there was a massive zombie outbreak, and from there... it never stopped," Leon pauses and shakes his head. "I've been fighting this whole time. There's no end in sight, and it only keeps getting worse. Have I been living just to fight zombies and the people who create them?"

"What are you trying to say? That you don't want to cooperate with us?" Chris asks.

"It's not that..." Leon's tone is uncertain, "Well, maybe it is."

With a hesitant tone, Leon continues

“What exactly is our goal? How far do we have to run? Do we have to keep running endlessly? The villains keep coming, one after another, while the good people keep dying. Maybe it's better to lose our minds."

Then, Chris found himself forced to explain to Leon what they were facing. He showed pictures of Cathy White, the agent that was turned into a bio-weapon. And worse, her son she killed. He showed the photos taken during the autopsy and how Glenn turned people into something else purely because of power. 

"Killing him is the goal," Chris declares.

"That's only your goal, not mine," Leon retorts, his voice filled with resentment.

Tension fills the air between them once again.

"Hey," Rebecca interrupts, breaking the silence just as she did before. "So, Leon, you're exhausted," Rebecca points at Leon and then gestures to Chris. "And Chris, you're frustrated. There's one thing both tired people and irritable people have in common."

"What do we have in common?" Chris asks in response.

They both look at each other with a wide-eyed grin.

"You only think about yourselves," Rebecca replies. 

"I–" Chris tries to interject, but Rebecca continues. 

"Chris, all you talk about is wanting to kill Glenn Arias. After helping me, you didn't say a single word mourning the sacrifices of our colleagues. Leon, you're acting like a college student in their moratorium period. People get tired of running. But if we stop running, more people will lose their lives."

Rebecca takes out a trigger-activated needleless syringe from her small bag. In front of the bewildered duo, she abruptly presses the syringe against her left forearm and pulls the trigger, causing her blood to collect in the test tube attached to the syringe.

"I'll tell you something important. We're already infected," she says.

"What?" Leon's expression tightens in response.

Rebecca continues speaking in a tone reminiscent of a teacher addressing a poor student. 

"The truth is, it's difficult to estimate just how many people have been infected by Arias' new virus. The problem is, we don't know the identity of the trigger that activates it."

As she speaks, Rebecca removes the test tube from the syringe and seals it with a cap.

"The virus is activated by something only Arias knows. When that happens, the dead rise, and living humans become bio-weapons."

Rebecca glances lightly at Leon. 

"If things continue like this, this city will eventually become a living hell. There won't be any safe places."

Leon remains silent, averting his gaze.

"Just so you know, a prototype of the antivirus has been developed," Rebecca says. "It actually worked on me. However, the effectiveness of the antivirus is unstable without knowing the conditions for the activation of Arias' virus. When to administer it and how long it remains effective..."

Rebecca then places the sealed test tube into a small protective case and puts it on the table. 

"My blood should provide valuable data. If I die, make sure it reaches a reputable research institution that you can trust."

"You're not in danger. We'll protect you," Chris says firmly.

"What?" Leon asks, confused.

"It seems like you're misunderstanding, BSAA soldier," Rebecca lightly dismisses Chris's assumption.

There’s a slight smirk on Leon’s lips as he hears that. 

"The forefront of pandemic response is not the BSAA, but the research field. How many doctors and colleagues do you think I've seen die in conflict-ridden African countries or small Middle Eastern nations used as testing grounds for bio-weapons?" Rebecca questions.

Chris tries to say something in response, but his voice gets stuck in his throat, and only faint breaths escape.

"After I left the team, you two might have fought against plenty of mad scientists. But science can only be countered with science. Unless benevolent technology advances, we will never have a chance of winning. We fight not only for ourselves but for others. Have you both understood at least a little of what I'm saying?" Rebecca asks.

She stands up and adds, "Cool your heads," before leaving her seat.

"She's a great woman," Leon comments.

"We can't handle it on our own," Chris remarks, watching Rebecca leave, and he and Leon exchanged a wry smile. 

And then, here it comes. The urge to talk about what happened one year ago. 

"Leon, China was tough," Chris says, referring to that incident.

"Yeah, it was like a zombie version of Black Hawk Down." he nods in response. 

"At that time, I wanted to quit the BSAA so badly," Chris admits, surprising Leon, "After getting involved with Umbrella, I witnessed too many deaths. We..." 

Chris trails off. His expression was heavy, as if lead had settled in the depths of his heart. Then Chris realized: Why does it make me so angry to see him like this? He was too much like his old self.

"It makes you want to quit... makes me want to quit," Chris says, emphasizing his point. Leon falls into silence. And Chris delivers the final blow. "But, the moment we quit, all of our subordinates and friends will have died in vain. We are the survivors of Raccoon City. We carry that burden."

Chris falls silent, and the air becomes still. The waitress looks annoyed by the silence. For a few moments, there’s nothing but the said silence. 

"Leon, I always thought you were a cheerful guy no matter what," Chris breaks the silence.

"No one is like that," Leon replies, “Well… I’m not. I've always been a stress-tolerant guy. I've been able to do what I've done because of it. But now look back on it. In Tall Oaks, I killed the president.”

"Technically, you had to save the President infected with the virus," Chris quickly adds, trying to provide some context.

“But,” Leon shakes his head, "But the fact remains that I pulled the trigger, I shot him, and I was even suspected of assassinating the President afterward. Although I managed to clear my name, the mastermind behind that incident turned out to be the President's aide. The DSO was once called the 'Sword of the President,' but now it sounds ironically fitting."

Chris remains silent, attentively listening to Leon's words.

"Chris," Leon continues. "I've returned to active duty, but every time I face the new President, I feel anxious. I can sense his unease as well. The President's aide had sold his soul to B.O.W. terrorism. Who's next? The Secretary of Defense? The Vice President? What's become of the foundation that supports the soldiers in the field? They keep using us, while the higher-ups continue to flounder, grow bloated... They only think about shifting blame onto others."

He pauses for a moment. There’s so much pain. 

Leon furrows his brow and lowers his voice. "Perhaps the reason entities like Umbrella persist is that our society harbors a fundamental evil... I can't help but feel that way now."

Even agreeing with this stupid mission, Leon can’t go without saying goodbye. He feels guilty, but the moment he sees you, everything feels completely right. He sat at the bed, watching you perfectly asleep, imagining what kind of dreams you were having. Leon sighs and shakes his head. 

“Hey, sweetheart” Leon says when he sees you waking up. 

“Hi” you whisper, rubbing your eyes. 

“Listen… something happened and my colleagues need me. Will you be okay here?” he asks you, his thumb trailing your cheek. 

“Will you come back?” you ask him, sounding a little groggy. 

“And leave my baby girl here all alone? Of course I’ll come back” he smiles sweetly at you. 

“Ok… I’ll be here” you nodded your head, closing your eyes to go back to sleep. 

Something about you made him see, for the first time, the bright side of things. Maybe it was the fact that you were younger than him, and also the fact that you were full of energy - he was just an old and bitter man. But, hey, he’s learning how to cope with every shit that has happened to him. 

Before you, Leon was ready to die. 

He was ready to embrace death, he already had made peace with his inner demons. But everything changed when you came into his life. Suddenly, he thought he could live and find happiness and death wasn’t in his thoughts anymore. It was like you were able to bring him back from his darkness. He wasn’t rotting inside. You were able to rescue him from himself and return the light he needed. 

But if he thought he wasn’t close to death, he was wrong. Leon never thought he would face something like Glenn Arias and come close to death, but he had his job to do. Chris needed his help and Leon finally found closure to something that was weighing on his head; the death of his squad wasn’t his fault and he found the real culprit. He found the peace he was desperately looking for. And he was able to see another sunrise and come back to you. 

It was a repetitive cycle. Leon recently started to wonder if anything he did was futile. That's why he took a vacation and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. It was a kind of protest, perhaps. A protest against the grand concepts of this world and destiny. A statement of "I’m not going on like this forever, I’m not going to do it," or something of that sort. But fate was cruel. In the end, human life rarely goes well by one's own choices. Perhaps humans are merely chosen by fate without their consent. Yet, Leon now felt that it was okay like that. Being chosen doesn't make him a hero by default. He becomes a hero reluctantly because he was chosen. And that's fine. 

The merged form approached Leon with an eerie growl, swinging its massive fist. Leon leaped back to dodge it, and the merged form's punch shattered one of the spires on the rooftop into tiny fragments. It had the destructive power of a construction hammer, with each strike resembling the impact of a tank cannon round. Leon intentionally slid and jumped into the merged form's feet, thinking that at such a large size, close range might become a blind spot. He positioned himself beneath the massive body, lying on his back and firing his handgun. The shots were practically point-blank, but they were still deflected by the hardened muscles and exoskeleton. 

"Doesn't matter," Leon muttered involuntarily. "I'll do whatever it takes, even if it's futile. Today's a good day to die anyway."

The merged form kicked out.

The enemy's movements were deceptively swift, and Leon was sent flying as if hit by a car. His body tumbled through the air until it finally collided with a gargoyle statue, coming to a stop. The impact was so intense that his breath nearly ceased. However, the merged form continued its pursuit. It threw a straight punch, a blow that would surely result in instant death if landed, but Leon managed to evade it with a jump. Not only did he dodge it, but in mid-air, Leon twisted his body and unleashed a spinning kick. His boot-clad foot connected with the grotesque face of the merged form.

Whether it would have any effect or not didn't matter. This strike was my will. Of course, a kick from a mere human wouldn't have any effect. The merged form retaliated with its opposite hand, grabbing hold of Leon.

"Gah!" A groan escaped Leon's throat involuntarily. The massive fist tightened around him like a vice, and within a few seconds, he felt himself being crushed like a tomato.

"Leon!" Chris emerged from the penthouse.

In his fading consciousness, Leon thought about you. The way you smiled whenever you were with him and the sweet perfume you love to use. The way your hands embrace him at night, helping him sleep safely, without any nightmares to harm him. And then, he doesn’t want to die anymore. Please, God, don’t let me die this way. 

Chris picked up the fully automatic handgun that Arias had dropped along the way and unleashed a barrage of bullets at the merged form. For a brief moment, it seemed like the merged form's focus shifted, and its grip loosened slightly, but that was all.

Was my life meant to end here, crushed by this grotesque monster? Leon wondered, his pessimism threatens to shatter him. Leon wasn't the type to easily get this depressed or overthink things too much. Still, he felt more than a little exhausted.

What kind of adult did I want to become when I was a child? I never imagined I would be burdened with the stigma of assassinating a president. At least, I didn't want a life like this ― It doesn't matter what I want. There's no such thing as a person who can live the life they desire. Arias must have felt the same way. In the end…

VI. ABSOLUTION

When he came back, you noticed something inside him had changed. 

After the fight with Arias, Leon noticed that life was much more than death, darkness and depression. At least, he started to think like that when he almost got killed. And his only thought was coming back to you. No, he couldn’t die like that and leave you alone. His arm was injured, but he was alive. And he was back. 

“What happened to your arm?” you asked him when you saw him entering the room. 

“Remember that day in the morgue when you told me I was a badass government agent?” Leon asks you back, sitting on the bed next to you. 

“Yep, I do” you nodded, starting to massage his tense muscles. 

“Well… I’m not this kind of agent. I work under the president’s orders. I fight bioweapons for a living… since that hell in Raccoon City” Leon sighs, finally opening about his job. 

“Bioweapons? Like zombies and shit?” you ask him with curiosity. 

“Worse than zombies, but yes” Leon nodded with a slight smirk. “It’s dangerous, and this time I nearly got killed… thing is, my job requires a lot of my time, it forces me to not be around for God knows how long. It scares me because I don’t know if you can live this chaotic life with me…” 

“Wait, wait, wait… slow down” you held his hand and squeezed it softly. “Everyone deserves a second chance in life, Leon. You were alone for too much time and I don’t mind if you need to go somewhere else to fight bioweapons. If this means I get to see these pretty eyes of yours and this sweet smile every time you come home… I’m willing to live this chaotic life with you” 

Leon couldn’t believe your words. After being deprived of something so human and getting used to it, Leon felt he was about to explode. It was too much for him to handle. At this point, he knew perfectly he was experiencing anxiety. But it was a good one. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt. If we do this, I’m gonna get you wrapped up in something bad someday… and I’ll never forgive myself if this happens” Leon tells you, sounding extremely worried.

“I know you won’t let anything bad happen to me. And besides, I can take care of myself. I made self defense classes” you laugh sweetly, a symphony to his ears. 

“Are you sure?” Leon asks, and those big puppy eyes of his wanting nothing but assurance.

“Honey, if this wasn’t true, I wouldn’t be here” you chuckled, kissing his forehead. 

After what happened, you decided to introduce Leon to your family as your boyfriend. But before that, you convinced him he needed to improve a little. Getting rid of the alcohol was the first step. He started to see a therapist and work harder on his issues, which influenced a lot of your relationship. He was more happy and willing to do things he and you both liked. One year after that incident with his squad being killed and his mission with his friends, you noticed he was ready to meet your parents. 

“I’m nervous” Leon tells you when you both were entering your home. 

“Why? It’s not like we’ve been dating secretly for almost three years. Besides, they’ll think you’re cute, don’t worry” you giggled at him. 

“I’m not so sure about that” he muttered, following you inside your parents place.

You could clearly tell how anxious he was. However, he always felt at ease on your side, and it was like you had the power to make him relax, like nothing could harm him and the world was finally at peace. When you stepped inside the house with Leon right behind you for a Christmas dinner, your parents were already expecting both of you. 

“Mom, dad… this is Leon. The guy I was talking about” you introduced him to your parents with certain expectations. 

“You clearly got my taste for man” Leon heard your mom whispering to you, which made his cheeks turn red. 

“So… um… how long are you two hanging out?” your dad asked and you glanced quickly at Leon. 

“Three years, I guess. We met at the store” you tell your parents. “I didn’t tell you before because Leon has a busy schedule. He’s not always in town, so…” 

“Well, moonpie, if you’re happy, we’re happy too” your mom says with a gracious smile on her lips. 

Leon wasn’t expecting to be so welcomed into your family, but the fact that your parents treated him so kindly melted his heart. He got himself thinking about the dinner for at least one week, mostly because part of him was still thinking it was weird to receive so much kindness and affection, especially coming from a real family. He wasn’t expecting to be playing cards with your dad while you and your mom were in the kitching talking about girl’s stuff, but it was enough to make him see he made the right choice. That it was okay for him to finally experience love. 

“I like your light brown hair now that you finally stopped dying it” you said, sitting between his legs in the living room. 

“My emo era is over” he chuckles sweetly, like a melody. 

“May it rest in peace” you made the signal of the cross. “

“Changing the subject, tomorrow I gotta go to San Francisco. Work stuff” he says to you, softly kissing your neck. 

“Yeah? Am I getting some gift?” you whisper, feeling the shivers down your spine with his lips against your skin. 

“Do I ever go on a mission and come back empty handed?” Leon asks you, his soft lips pressing more against your neck and you can feel him softly biting you. 

The thing is, Leon is like a porcelain doll. He needs to be treated with softness and kindness, because deep down, he is vulnerable. The way his lips met your skin was a clear sign that he was ready for you. He was finally ready to be yours. However, loving Leon also needed patience, and after three years, you could tell he wanted that too. 

“Do you want to do this before you leave, handsome?” you ask him teasingly, holding his hands as he keeps kissing your neck. 

“Yes, I do,” he nods, almost moaning in your ear. 

He gently took you to his bedroom, the place was almost a sanctuary for him. He laid you down on his bed and removed his shirt, and this time, he didn’t seem ashamed of himself. You stood up from his bed and sat him on the edge, your hands trailing down his skin like he was a roller coaster. He closed his eyes, his breath soft and calm, although he anticipated what was about to happen. Leon craved for you. 

“I’ll take care of you” you whispered, leaving soft kisses across his neck and chest. 

You sat gently between his legs, your sweet and soft fingers removing his pants and reaching his already hardened cock. He sat there, observing you with those big and blue puppy eyes, like he was savoring your image. When you took all his length inside your mouth and gently started to suck him, Leon felt he was in heaven. It felt so good, so powerful. 

Tears started to fall from his eyes and he cried. Not because you were hurting him, dear lord, of course not! It was because he finally felt that he deserved to be loved. Your tongue did an amazing job on his cock and when he came, he felt his body at ease. Leon moaned with the sudden sensation, it was stronger than he last remembered. But it was because of you. 

“I love you” he says when you touch his face, wiping his tears. 

Loving Leon needed patience, you knew that already. 

However, living with him brought new challenges that you weren’t expecting at all. He would be gone for weeks, then he comes back out of nowhere. He always forgets to send you a message to let you know he’s coming back, but that’s okay, because his lack of patience to deal with technology amuses you. He always sends an emoji out of context, which makes you laugh and you find it very cute when he gets disappointed for misunderstanding those little and yellow faces. He’s getting there, don’t worry about that. 

When he’s at home, things turn out differently. He always helps you with the chores, likes to tease you whenever you’re cooking his favorite meal and at the end of the day, you two are together on the couch watching some silly movie while he complains about it and softly scratches your leg. Sharing a domestic life was something he never thought he would have, not after everything he went through alone. 

Now that he's back from whatever he did in San Francisco, you have another job to do. Tend to his injuries. It’s a small sacrifice to pay whenever he comes back hurt; this time he has purple marks all over his body and face. You don’t ask what on earth happened, because you know he can’t really give details, but at least he’s safe and sound with you again. 

“Stop moving, old man!” you tell him, trying to clean a small cut he had on his neck. 

“That hurts,” Leon replied back, flinching slightly. 

“I know, but someone has to clean it” you rolled your eyes, applying a Barbie band-aid on his neck. 

“Please, don’t tell me I got the Barbie thing on my neck” Leon closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

“Next time I’ll get you a cat one” you wink playfully at him. 

After so many death experiences and the inner wish of being dead, he’s glad that he found the absolution that he always wanted. He looks at you with amusement, part of him finds it hard to believe that he’s so lucky to have you, but the other part is glad that you are real and you love him for who he really is. You took every damaged part of him and loved with such intensity that it was enough to bring him back from that dark place he was at. He forgave himself, allowed his soul to heal and to be loved. Life had gifted him with the second chance to live, made him see the beautiful things again. You took him in when he was on the lower part of his life, and your love brought him back. He knows he’s getting older, but he doesn’t mind spending his days with you, because you are the only thing in his life that makes sense.

And he’s fine with that. 

[keyotosprompts]

not easy to please ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

alternatives to popular tropes

⇴ siblings's worst enemy

they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.

⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker

how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).

⇴ marriage of inconvenience

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)

⇴ forbidden hate

your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.

⇴ no more second chances

sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?

⇴ not so secret identity

everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!

⇴ separated from each other

they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?

⇴ "you deserved it."

a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?

⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."

they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to

⇴ the one that is still here

everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.

⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play

he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.

⇴ nobody wants the bad boy

he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.

⇴ "you must be delusional"

lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.

⇴ loving someone to save them

none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.

⇴ too smart to live

you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.

⇴ different worlds (revised)

you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.

⇴ one-sided blind date

rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.

[chlorinecake]

🎙️ star-crossed lovers 【 薄幸な恋人 】 ⛦

summ✩ry Forbidden sparks fly between you and Enhypen’s main dancer upon dorming together, but what happens when your bandmate threatens to expose this reckless romance?

p✩iring idol!niki x popstar!reader ✩ EPISODE 1

genre band au, fluff, secret romance cw swearing, slightly suggestive, mild bullying, kissing, girl drama, reader is younger than Niki wc 4.5k

"Where were you last night?” Haerin asked with a whisper, removing the tape-seal from her container of apple slices.

It was early in the morning when you, your bandmates, and the Enhypen members got up for breakfast in the Hybe cafeteria.

Getting up early proved to be a challenge, especially considering your late night adventures with Niki and unbreakable inability to sleep in beds that aren't yours.

You couldn't help but wonder how much better you would've slept if Niki stayed next to you-

"W-what are you talking about, Rinnie?" You stuttered unintentionally, taking a sip from the coffee you prayed would help you get through another busy day in Korea.

"Don't play dumb, ____. You know what I saw," she sighed, meeting your nervous eyes, "You really shouldn't be disobeying the curfew rule, not to mention how dangerous sneaking around a foreign country is."

"I appreciate your concern, Haerin, but I promise, you have nothing to worry about," you said with a smile, "I just wanted to get some extra practice time in, that's all."

The sound of approaching footsteps cut your conversation short, the Enhypen boys and your bandmates finally joining you two at the table.

"Ooo, are you guys telling secrets? I wanna hear," Jade cheered, placing her food tray on the table.

Apparently you and Haerin looked a lot more suspicious than intended, but then again, two girls whispering always looked a little fishy.

“Hehe, no secrets over here!” Haerin covered, shoving her mouth with apples to avoid anymore questions.

"Riiiight," Jungwon smirked, revealing his soft dimples, "Anyways, how’re you all enjoying the roommate pairs?”

"I’m actually quite pleased with our group, right boys?” Heeseung joked, exchanged high fives with Jake and Jay to which Sunghoon rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure you guys took a while to get used to each other," he mumbled sarcastically, "What do you think about us, Serenity?"

"Hmm," she began in thought, "wellll, Sunoo's kinda vibey. He has a lot of fancy skincare products that he shares sometimes, so that’s been nice. Sunghoon's also really easy to look at so..."

"Easy to look at, huh? Is that your way of calling me hot?"

"Heyyy, I never said you could use my stuff," Sunoo blurted out, interrupting Sunghoon's attempt at flirting.

"Moving on," Serenity chirped, redirecting the convo, "What about you, Mr. Leadernim?"

Jungwon took a bite of his scrambled eggs before answering, "Honestly, Jade and Haerin remind me of my sister. We get along pretty well and they're not too troublesome, I guess."

"Yeah, Jungwon's pretty cool, too... aside from his tendency to hog the shower," Jade teased back.

“Okay, now what about you two?” Heeseung started, sending Niki a funny look that made him choke on his water.

“Alright, you can answer ____ while he keeps drowning,” Heeseung chuckled, passing Niki a napkin to wipe the water from his now shiny lips.

You still couldn't believe that he actually kissed you WITH THOSE LIPS-

“Uhhh,” you began nervously, trying to think of something normal to say, “N-Niki... w-well, he's uh... Niki, he's—”

“My GOD, the look on your face right now makes it seem like you’re in love with him or something,” Serenity gawked rudely, dramatically throwing her hands in the air as she successfully got everyone’s attention with her big mouth.

“I mean,” Niki started with a plain expression, “its not like I’m entirely against the idea of having a girl fall for me...”

“Yeah, happens all the time to guys like us,” Jake winked, immediately cringing at his own words.

Step, step, step, signaled Miss Kim’s signature black booties across the tiled cafeteria floor, “Good morning, my little minions. Now what’s going on over here with all this chatter?”

Turns out Miss Kim only worked as an activity assistant for Enhypen, though, she always had a way of waltzing into every room like she owned the place.

“Not much,” Jake answered, “We were just discussing our practice schedule for the day.”

“Mhm, so that means the few of you are well updated on your instrument rehearsals this evening, yes?”

“Instrument rehearsals,” Jade repeated yet asked.

“Exactly. Jade, Serenity, and Jay will play a guitar riff during one of the stages, so you’ll meet in the recording studio at 4pm today.”

“Sweet,” Jay smirked, playing air-guitar while mimicking the Karma instrumental.

“Also,” Miss Kim continued, “I can’t really remember, but which of you here is struggling with the choreo?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to you as you raised your hand shyly.

“Oh, ____,” she said, dragging out your name, “perfect! Niki, you’ll be skipping vocals today to help ____ catch up in the dance studio.”

You couldn’t hold back the smile that grew on your face at her words: maybe some extra dance practice wouldn't be too bad after all.

“Alright, I'm headed to the fashion department to check out your stage costumes. Heeseung and Jungwon, please make sure everyone follows today's schedule accordingly.”

“We won't let you down, Miss Kim," Jungwon nodded as the stern lady turned on her heel, beelining to the cafeterias coffee counter a few feet away from your table.

"Alright guys, you heard the boss lady. Let's wrap up breakfast and meet in 10," Heeseung said, getting up from his seat first as the rest of you followed shortly after...

To Room 10: Hybe's indoor gym and workout center.

The intense exercise routine left you feeling pretty worn out.

Your mind was mostly focused on getting all your reps in without passing out, ignoring the overflow of sweat that kept seeping from your pores. You all had just finished the last part of the workout: a mile outdoor run around Yongsan Family Park.

"And you're telling me we still have rehearsals after this?" Serenity huffed, taking yet another large gulp from her jug of Gatorade.

"Yes," Sunoo answered plainly, taking the blue drink from her hands and pouring it into a nearby bush.

"Dude, what the hell?" She yelped, backing away to avoid the splashes, "Don't tell me you're still mad about that 'skincare' thing."

"If you had any idea how many added sugars people put in that stuff, you would've poured it out yourself," Sunoo replied in a sassy voice.

"Well if it wasn't obvious, I couldn't care less about whatever you just said," she sighed, sadly watching as the blue liquid trickled past the leaves, soaking the soil, "you totally owe me a drink after this, by the way."

"Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea! We should go out for drinks tomorrow night," Jake cheered, using the back of his hand to catch his sweat, "everybody down for splitting the bill?"

"Yeah, but we can focus on that once we get back up this hill," Jay replied, encouraging the rest of you to keep on treading.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

Later in the rehearsal studio, practice started off a bit slow with a warm up session before actually breaking down the choreography.

Apparently, the official dance composer for the upcoming stage changed a part in the performance for you and your group to follow, adding a trick move with Haerin and Jade.

Meanwhile, the Enhypen boys were working on perfecting their routines, as they had already memorized the whole thing a lot quicker than the Riot Grrlz.

The main practice session lasted close to two hours before the talent supervisor called for a break, sending the other members off so you and Niki could have the studio to yourselves.

Finally.

"So what was that all about earlier?" He asked, kneeling down to stretch his legs.

"In the cafeteria this morning?"

He nodded in response, guiding you to the floor to help you stretch with him.

"Well, Haerin said she saw me last night... Sneaking out, I mean. She didn't say anything about you, but..."

You couldn't help but giggle at the way his face dropped.

"What the? I could've sworn everyone was asleep when we came back last night," he said with an awkward smile, holding onto your wrists as he pulled you toward your feet on the ground, "what'd you tell her then?"

"I told her not to worry about it, but I avoided mentioning too many details," you said, squeezing your eyes at the painful stretch you felt in your hamstrings.

"Welp, all that means is we'll have to be more careful when we sneak out again tonight," he winked, finally letting go of your wrists so you could relax.

"Tonight, huh? I'm surprised I've got you hooked so fast. What's it been, like three days?"

"Four, actually. But I'm surprised by your sudden confidence. You could hardly form a coherent sentence about me, earlier," he teased, offering you his hand to help you up from the ground.

"That had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way you almost died while drinking water," you returned before dramatically reenacting the way he struggled, pretending to choke on the air, "I was nervous... for your safety, of course."

"Mhm. I'm sure you would've saved me though... Nothing a little mouth to mouth can't fix," he smiled, looking at your lips before looking away, trying to maintain his focus, "You remember how the choreo starts, right?"

"Uhh," you started, scratching the back of your head, "With the little arm-move-thingy?"

"Sure, you could call it that," he chuckled, "Now just follow my moves like we did at the skate park. I'll go slow at first and speed up as you catch on."

"Okay," you said, watching his movements in the mirror as if hypnotized.

It amazed you how even while practicing the moves in slow motion, he still looked effortlessly talented.

"Good!" he encouraged, observing how much you improved with the footwork compared to day one, but there was something about your hip movements that he thought looked a little stiff.

"Okay, hold on," he started, walking up to you and placing his hands at your waist, "Try to be a little more fluid with this step, otherwise it looks kinda awkward."

"Like this?" you asked, keeping his hands in place as you rolled your hips in front of him, trying to follow his instructions.

You didn't even realize how close his body was pressed against yours until a loud slam startled you both.

Niki's gaze immediately darted to the source of the sound, seeing none other than Serenity barging through the studio door, marching in with a cattiest look on her face.

"Ummm, how can I help you, officer?" Niki asked playfully, stepping away from you and crossing his arms.

That's when Sunghoon and Sunoo ran in behind her, trying to catch their breath while spitting out a few words, "We tried to stop her," Sunoo started, "but she wouldn't listen."

"Aha! I knew there was something going on between you two! Don't try to back away now, Niki! I guess you couldn't wait to loosen up each other's buttons again, huh?!" Serenity rambled, making an utter fool of herself.

"We were rehearsing the choreography, genius. Like Miss Kim told us to," You retorted, not being in the mood for her games at the moment.

"Mhm, without leaving room for Jesus, I see! Speaking of Miss Kim, just wait til I tell her about this!"

"What are you two doing here?" Niki asked the two frustrated boys, trying to redirect the conversation.

"We were in Room 10 doing our cooldown when Gossip Girl over here started interrogating Haerin," Sunghoon sighed, "One thing led to another and before we knew it, Serenity was bolting out of the gym like a crazy person."

Your eyes went to meet Serenity's frame, who stood with her hands on her hips and eyes narrowed as she wrestled with whatever angry thoughts ran through her brain.

"Ren, please don't tell Miss Kim. This was obviously a huge misunderstanding," you pleaded with her, trying to be mature about the situation.

"No… little kids like you need discipline. Though," she paused, twirling a strand of her chocolate brown hair, "I might consider keeping your little secret if you resign from being captain over the Riot Grrlz."

You scoffed at her offer, "You're delirious. And for the last time, there isn’t any secret for you to spoil, anyway."

"Fine,” she grinned, a little too wide, “I tried to be nice about this, Niki, but your girlfriend has left me with no other choice but to come clean about this matter.”

Flipping her hair, she marched towards the door, looking back as if waiting for you all to follow her, which you did, all the way to Miss Kim in the fashion department.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

To no one’s surprise, Miss Kim wasn’t happy to see the five of you crowding her during her shift, especially not when you were given specific instructions to follow the schedule while she was away.

After Serenity expressed that their was “a breach of the rules” between you and Niki, Miss Kim summoned all of the Riot Grrlz and Enhypen members for a disciplinary meeting.

"Oddly enough, my disappointment doesn't fall on Jungwon and Heeseung, even though I put you two in charge of everything," the lady began, holding her hands behind her back as she paced around the table you were all sat at.

"Serenity has brought to my knowledge that some of your are struggling to follow the strict rules in place here. Are there any witnesses to this claim?"

Serenity kicked Haerin's leg from under the table, trying to get a word out of her, but she remained silent thankfully. You couldn't help but feel guilty though at the sight of Jungwon and Heeseung hanging their heads in shame.

"Very well then... and are any of the accused parties willing to come clean about the alleged incident?"

Niki peeked at you for a second as if waiting for you to say or not say something first.

"I..." you began timidly, "I did stay out past curfew last night, but only to practice."

This was a partial lie, but you had no intentions on bringing Niki down with you. After all, it's not like he forced you to sneak out with him, as you most definitely wanted to.

Miss Kim's eyes widened slightly at your sudden choice to speak, "Go on," she said, stopping in her tracks.

"And about what Serenity saw in the rehearsal studio... It was nothing. Me and Niki were only trying to practice like you said."

She hummed at your words, "I appreciate your honesty, ____. And Serenity, it would bring me much joy if from now on, you would focus more on working than running after silly rumors."

"Soooo," Jake started, "are we free to go now?"

"Not just yet," Kim answered, clearing her throat before continuing, "From now on, your curfew will be pushed back from 11:00pm to 8:00pm."

A loud groan filled the room at her words, but a satisfied look remained on Serenity's face until the next part of Kim's rules were announced.

"A piece of blue tape will be lined at your bedroom doors, so anyone who tries to leave after 8 will have a tough time hiding it once the tape is torn. Also, expect to be waken up extra early tomorrow for exercise. No breakfast."

"But Miss Kim," Jade began, "Maybe you can give us another chance, there's no proof, anyway."

"Proof or no proof, my rules will stand in place until further notice. And for the record, this is not a punishment."

"Yeah, more like a freaking detention center! I knew it from day one," Serenity whined, the taste of her karma unfortunately falling on the lot of you.

"If that's what you wanna call our home to multinational superstars, so be it," Kim retorted, making her way to the office door, "hopefully there will be no more disruptions for the day."

Slam.

The door was closed, and with that, your busy schedules re-open and waiting to be completed.

"____," Haerin spoke quietly, shyly meeting your eyes as she walked up to you, "I'm really sorry that I brought that up this morning, Serenity must've overheard us talking."

"It's okay, Rinnie. This isn't your fault," you smiled, patting her head gently to cheer her up.

"Mhm, well that's sweet. Thanks for getting us on probation, lovebirds," Jay sighed, getting up from his seat and walking out of the room.

"Yeah, so much for stopping Serenity and her big mouth, you guys," Jake said, giving Sunghoon and Sunoo a look before walking out too.

"Guys, Miss Kim said this wasn't a punishment. Like ____ said, this isn't anyways fault," Jungwon said, trying to convince everyone to see the situation in a more positive light.

"Whatever, I'm gonna join Jay in the instrument room. Don't take too long in here, Ren," Jade sighed, running a frustrated hand through her hair before also leaving.

"Cool, I'm gonna go get lunch because I don't work well when I'm hungry," Heeseung huffed, walking past Niki and towards the door, "I taught you well, brother, but please, stay out of trouble from now on."

Serenity's initial pitiful look returned to the sassy one she wore before, watching as Jungwon, Sunoo, and Sunghoon followed after Heeseung, closing the door behind them.

And then there were three.

"Miss Kim thinks that some silly tape and a bedtime will stop you two, but just know that I'll be watching for myself," Serenity threatened, staring you and Niki down from her seat.

"Got it, officer," Niki teased, walking up to you and taking your hand in his.

"And where do you two think you're going?"

"To complete our schedules? Now we've all had enough with your Nancy Drew act. It's time to put your working face back on," you replied, mirroring her cattiness, "You're gonna be late for your rehearsals with Jade and Jay if you don't hurry up."

"Gosh, you two can be so annoying sometimes," She exclaimed, fixing her hair before marching out of the office, leaving you and Niki alone again.

With your hand still in his, he turned your body to face him, taking your face in his hands and looking at you with the most loving expression.

He just can't get enough of you.

He reached for your wrist, drawing your attention to the bracelet he gave you the other day, "You still trust me, right?"

You couldn't help but look away from his face for a second. If he held that intense eye contact with you for any longer, you're sure you were gonna explode.

"Stop, you're too shy," he giggled, turning your chin to face him one more time before kissing you on the lips, a pink hue raising to his cheeks. You got lost in his touch for a second, hardly remembering that this reckless romance is what got you in this room in the first place.

"Niki!" You yelped, suddenly feeling his hands tickle you under your shirt, "You never answered my question, silly," he chuckled, backing away as you tried fighting him off.

"I trust you, stupid, now stop tickling me before someone catches us," you sighed, trying to catch your breath from all your laughing.

This boy was making your heart do things you're sure it's never done before. Backflips, cartwheels, splits, you name it!

"So does that mean you're still down to hang out with me later tonight," he asked, pouting at you playfully, "unless, you don't think it's worth it."

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

Your evening ended on par with Miss Kim's revised schedule, everyone completing their assigned tasks before showering and heading to bed at 8 o'clock sharp. And to your surprise, she wasn't joking about the blue tape thing either.

You and Niki waited til an entire hour had passed before initiating your escape plan, just to make sure that everyone was asleep.

Dressed in the best "incognito" outfits you could find, Niki tied a few bed sheets together to make a rope, tying it to your bunkbed for you to climb out the window with.

He went first because you were too scared.

"Alright, you're coming?" He whispered from the ground, watching you shyly peek from the window.

"You look tiny from up here," you giggled, pointing at him playfully.

"____, stop stalling and get down here," he chuckled back, motioning with his hands as if encouraging you.

Sticking your right leg out the window, you said a small prayer as you gripped onto the makeshift rope, climbing down with your eyes closed to keep yourself from chickening out.

"That's it, there you go!" Niki cheered, clapping for you as you finally made it down... the 10ft wall.

"What if someone sees the rope just hanging here?"

"They won't."

"Well... what if a little raccoon were to get cold out here and sneak into our room for comfort?"

"Come on," he smiled, taking your hand in his as he skipped from the building, adjusting the sunglasses to his "costume."

He wanted to show you around the city of Seoul, taking you to one of his favorite Japanese food stands to get filled taiyaki's because they're his all time favorite. He ended up doing most of the talking while ordering, thanks to the language barrier.

You both wanted chocolate filled, so you ended up just getting one large taiyaki to share.

He tore a piece of the fish pastry's head before putting it in his mouth, careful not to get any chocolate on his face.

You took the snack from his hand before taking a small bite yourself, surprised by the initial crunchiness of the pastry that soon melted into a softer texture, coupled with an equally delightful taste.

Now you see why Niki likes these so much.

"This is crazy, you know that?" You said, taking in the beautiful city scenery that made up your surroundings.

"Of course, especially with everyone reminding me all the time. But what was that you said again? About breaking rules as long as it's worth it?"

Both of you started to walk a little slower, not really paying attention to where you were going, just enjoying each others company, "You're never gonna let me forget I said that, are you?"

"Nope," he smiled, looking into the distance, "because those are the exact words that got us here in the first place."

"And where is "here," exactly?" You challenged, going for another bite of the snack before handing it back to him.

"Alone, outside, past our curfews, holding hands in this beautiful park while dressed up as anonymous wanderers..."

You giggled in between his rambling-

"...Waiting for the right moment to kiss each other again."

A certain feeling of butterflies ran through your stomach at his words.

Was risking your career really worth all this? You'd vote one hundred and ten percent yes.

🎆 Pop!

The sight of fireworks bursted into the night sky before you two, shattering into a glittery shower of colorful sparkles.

"Oh my God," you jumped in shock at the loud noise, making Niki chuckle at your startled reaction.

"Jeez, you're gonna draw attention to us if you keep jumping like that!"

"Ahh, how was I supposed to know they were going to be fireworks tonight?"

"We're just outside of Yeouido Park. The officials here are probably rehearsing for the upcoming firework show," he said before filling his mouth with yet another bite of taiyaki.

From the looks of it, a few more people started to crowd the area, pulling out their cameras to take pictures of the occasional fireworks that splashed into the clear night sky.

"Maybe we should get going now," you said shyly, adjusting the silly scarf you wore around your neck to keep yourself undetectable.

Confused at first by your initial prompt, Niki took a look around before now seeing a few photographers pointing cameras at everyone.

"Yeahhhh, you're right, let's go before we get caught," he smiled, picking up the pace of his steps as he turned around, beelining back to the Hybe building with his hand still in yours.

The time had just hit somewhere around 10 o'clock, so you and Niki got a good hour to yourselves after your long day of work.

Luckily, his makeshift rope was still hanging outside your dorm room window when y’all got back, and once again, you successfully snuck out together undetected.

Or at least, that’s what you both thought until the morning came…

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

There was a certain news feed circulating around the web, originating on that same Korean Pop media website you were stalking before your trip.

You weren’t surprised to find Serenity with her bright blue eyes practically glued to her phone screen, announcing the blog’s title out loud as you and Niki came down together for warmups in Room 10:

Young Stars Spark Romantic Rumors After Photos of Them Kissing in Yeouido Park Circulate the Web.

Oh no, this can’t be good.

Niki had already informed you a few minutes ago about the post popping up on his phone, "There's no way we got caught. I made sure we blended in with the crowd,” he said, not being able to hide the worry growing inside him.

“And besides,” you replied while whispering, “we didn’t even kiss.”

But as to be expected, Serenity was having a field day rubbing the news in your faces.

“Starting mess at work again, I see?” Sunoo pointed, rolling his eyes at her words, but she ignored him.

“Ren, did you even look at the pictures going around?” Haerin offered as she adjusted her workout clothes, “Those people look nothing like Niki and ____.”

“Let me see,” Jade said, reaching for Serenity’s phone and scrolling past the title to analyze the pictures that revealed two older idols who didn’t even match you and Niki’s heights.

The fear boiling in your stomach suddenly disappeared.

“Oh, and their names are right here!” Serenity pointed out before zooming in, “Nevermind, I can’t even pronounce that.”

“Great, so that means we can get back to practice now, yeah?” Jungwon said, trying not to sound as annoyed as he truly was.

You and Niki just bust out laughing.

“What’s so funny,” Serenity scowled, obviously dissatisfied with the reality of the situation.

"Just the fact that you genuinely thought we'd go against Miss Kim's rules… Besides, how would we have even gotten out last night?" Niki tried, kneeling down to tighten his shoelaces, “I’m sure you checked the blue tape by our door. It stayed intact the entire night.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, obviously not wanting to engage in the conversation anymore, which you were thankful for.

The fitness coach started explaining the workout to Jake so he could translate for you and your group, outlining that the session would start with some intense weight lifting before cardio, a.k.a, a 2 mile run around the park.

Great.

Heeseung encouraged you all with his bright smile, “Alright, guys, let’s get moving!”

And that’s exactly what everyone did for the next three hours, keeping a shared goal in mind to follow Miss Kim’s activity schedule perfectly: Day five’s schedule outlining an in-person fan meeting that evening.

🎙️ For my baby, @microwvdstrawb3rri3s, and the lovely 🐥 anon ~ Episode 3 coming soon 💕

⛦ Tags: @squoxle @ashgonedash @nikimeows @nikipedia07 @3ngene--frvr @illymontyshit @filmofhybe @whoslug @nikiiitties

🎙️ Feel free to check out more fun reads on the pinned post at my home page ~

[nabi-unveiled]

Treasure Hunt: Who Owns the Phone?

After my post about the broken SIM card, @lostanxiousfool suggested that the breaking of the SIM card signaled the end of Sei's codependency on Fujisawa as the phone was actually Fujisawa's.

Was the phone Fujisawa's? That would definitely be a more optimistic take (although the two takes are not mutually exclusive).

You know my brain isn't just letting it go. Let the treasure hunt begin.

Clue #1: Japanese law

I'm no expert in Japanese phone laws so this next bit is based purely on my internet based research. No way that could be wrong, right? Some countries have pretty strict rules about phone ownership and registration. Japan does require IDs to buy/register a phone. However, it does look like a single person could own more than one phone. What does that mean? It's possible the phone is Fujisawa's.

Clue #2: Fujisawa/Sei's Dynamic

Fujisawa definitely pays for the condo.

"Something like that" is because really Sei is nowhere in that apartment. He lives there, but everything in it pretty much matches Fujisawa's choices and design aesthetic. We also know that Sei's clothes came from Fujisawa. It's not out of the question that Fujisawa would have bought Sei his phone.

However, Sei DOES have his own job which means he has his own money. He CAN buy his own phone. He feels like "a parasite" which could go several ways. It could mean Fujisawa pays for everything OR it could mean Sei would try to pay for as his own belongings to assuage his guilt at not being able to help much with the rent.

Clue #3: The Phone Case

The phone case is The Starry Night by Van Gogh. It carries a lot of meaning. None of that meaning would apply to Fujisawa. It is 100% related to Sei as a character. Also, this phone case does not match Fujisawa's aesthetic at all. It's the ONE thing in their condo that actually seems like it belongs to Sei.

Clue #4: Dialogue & Symbols

I've said it before. I'll say it again. The symbols are everything to me in this show. Feel free to disagree. Phones carry meaning in this show, and it already told us that all of our secrets are on them.

Does this preclude the phone from being owned by Fujisawa? No. Absolutely not. But it does imply that phones are personal.

Clue #5: The E-mail Address

Subtitles always have a chance of being wrong; however, the subtitles indicate that the e-mail is indeed Sei's. The kanji also match what was later shown in the company e-mail/directory for Sei.

We know Fujisawa didn't read the e-mails until after he answered the phone. I 100% believe that if he had control over that e-mail address, he would've been reading them all along. Him reading it now is no different than Kaori reading Hagiwara's emails, and we don't doubt that Hagiwara owned his own phone.

So why does it say Kazuaki? Quite likely because Sei was crushing on Fujisawa. We're on Tumblr people. Even if you don't have one, you've seen 100s of usernames that are based on that person's blorbo(s).

If the e-mail is in Sei's name, why didn't they realize it was each other? There's a couple of possible reasons. Hagiwara is a very common surname in Tokyo, and Kazuaki is a common given name. It wouldn't be unusual for there to be more than one of them in Tokyo. Sei's name is definitely more uncommon though.

These are NOT their company e-mails. That was confirmed during the treasure hunt. When Hagiwara gets the e-mail about his new ID card, it comes to his company e-mail. It comes from Sei, but the e-mail address says S.Nakarai@isakado.co.jp.

As Hagiwara always refers to Sei as "Nakarai-san", it makes me wonder how often he encounters Sei's given/lower name at work. He definitely knows it. The kanji says it, and it matches the name on the personal e-mail. However, he doesn't use Sei's given name. It's probable he wouldn't connect the stranger's e-mail to the man at work. The world is large.

As a fun side fact that turned up during this treasure hunt. When Sei invites Hagiwara to call him, he uses the personal e-mail.

However, when Hagiwara wanted to call him after Kaori took his phone, Hagiwara looks Sei's number up using the company directory.

It means Hagiwara had access to Sei's phone number this whole time. He still didn't call Sei until Sei invited him to do so. I know that's common courtesy, but I still found it interesting.

Clue #6: Sei DOES break the SIM card, and he gets a new phone.

We end episode 6 with Sei in the condo alone. He has a new phone that he's using to listen to the rain 😭.

The phone looks black on the edge, but we can't really see the case. This could mean he broke out of the asylum and is now free. It could mean he's in a dark place. Hard to tell. Hagiwara's case has always been plain and black. I will assume that Sei did buy this one himself.

So DID the original phone belong to Fujisawa?

There's no way to know based on the evidence we have currently. There's layers upon layers of nuance and multiple interpretations of almost everything. Like many things in this show, you'll have to decide for yourself. I know that frustrates some people. It's what makes this show beautiful to me.

I've now written WAY too much about this show. For those that want to read it, here's a master list. I'll keep updating it as I add new posts.

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 6

one again i lied and we have probably a couple more parts after this

Morning came, and Steve had never been happy at the fact that his date wasn't lying next to him. He liked to imagine it now though, Eddie lying shirtless in bed, his curls strewn about the pillows. He wondered how far those tattoos went. He woke up around nine, but since Eddie said brunch, he let himself laze about for a bit before rolling out of bed. He had taken the soiled panties off last night, so he was bare from the waist down.

He grabbed a robe and wrapped it around himself, then went to the kitchen to start making something to eat. To his surprise, Eddie started the call. He picked up, smiling as Eddie's face filled the screen.

"Mornin' beautiful."

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

"I bet it would've been even better with you in bed", Eddie said.

Steve heard the familiar sound of a toaster popping something out. "And what are you making for brunch?"

"Pop Tarts", Eddie beamed, reaching over to put them on a plate. "And you?"

"Just a Hot Pocket", Steve said, half-honest.

"Aaaand?"

"....And some toast."

"What kind of bread, Steve?"

"...It's homemade milk bread."

"Aha! Culinare Extraordinaire strikes again!"

"Okay, but I made it days ago and it's just down to the nubbin and I thought I might as well go ahead and use it and-"

"The what?", Eddie interrupted.

"What?"

"Did you just call the end of the loaf the 'nubbin'?"

Steve's toast popped out and he began to butter it. "What do you call it?"

"What everyone else does: kiss bread."

"Alright, you gotta explain kiss bread to me", Steve said as he took his plate to the table.

Eddie was already seated with his food and some orange juice. "Because it-well the two ends...you know I don't know why, but that's what it's called. Not a nubbin."

"Well you can be wrong wherever you are. If you want to change my mind, you'll have to hop on a plane and come here."

"Speaking of...", Eddie started.

Steve raised a brow. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I think now is good. Last night my higher brain functions were, let's say preoccupied", Eddie smirked.

Steve crossed his legs, wondering how Eddie would feel if he knew he was currently bottomless. If he was here, what would he do? Probably feel him up under the table...God, it would break his and Robin's rule but he'd let Eddie take him right here in this kitchen if his actions were as good as his words last night.

"You still with me, Stevie?"

"Mmm, I'm thinking that I might need to invest in a few more pairs."

"Baby you could get me to commit murder with the right lingerie", Eddie admitted. The 'right' kind being any kind really. The panties had been a much appreciated surprise but anything that showed off his thick, hairy legs and that bulge would have seduced him thoroughly.

"Could I convince you to meet me somewhere? In person?", Steve asked, batting his lashes without meaning to.

"You can put those eyes of yours away, darlin'. I was already thinking of how we could meet. I really wanna see you. And touch you. All of you, not just your dick."

"Me too. So um, we could probably figure out a good, like middle ground?"

Eddie nodded and Steve was already running the numbers for taking a plane across the country and when he'd have a full weekend to do so when Eddie told him that he not only lived in the same state but in literally just the next town over.

"Eddie...are you telling me that you live thirty minutes away?"

"Steve, are you telling me that my town is thirty minutes away from yours?"

"Are you telling me I could've passed by you on the street?"

"There's a lot of telling-not-telling going on here", Eddie laughed.

"Looks like I won't need a plane ticket after all."

"Not unless you're gonna shell out for a crop duster. We could make it real dramatic", Eddie said. "Picture it. You step out of the plane in a suit and fedora. I'll be standing there, the wind blowing my coat as I run into your arms."

"Sounds romantic", Steve sighed.

"Well if it's romance you want, I might have an idea of where to go..."

While Steve and Eddie hashed out the details of their meeting, Robin came in, looking for pleased for just finishing a 'walk of shame'.

"Hey Robs. Good night with your date, I presume?", Steve smiled.

"Is that the infamous Robin?", Eddie asked.

"Is that the infamous Eddie?", Robin asked right back. She went to the coffeemaker to start brewing a pot.

"I'm told I have you to thank for Steve's outfit last night", Eddie smirked.

Robin stuck her tongue out at Steve in an 'I told you so' move. "You can thank me by not going into details."

"She doesn't like details?", Eddie asked Steve.

"Only when they're gross or embarrassing", Steve answered.

"Hmm, so she wouldn't wanna hear how gorgeous you looked while you were-"

"Lalalalalaaaa! I don't hear this!", Robin sang while waiting for the coffee to be done.

"Oh but I looove hearing it. Tell me more, Eddie. How good did I look when I-"

"LA. LA. LA! If you're gonna be gross, you make my coffee! I'm taking a shower!" Robin shouted her demand while covering her ears and rushing out of the kitchen.

"Don't we know how to clear a room?", Eddie grinned.

"Looks like we won't ever be strapped for alone time."

They talked some more and by noon, Steve had a date to Eddie's axe range next weekend. And damn if the week never felt so long. Even though he was getting more Eddie than ever. They still texted at least once a day, called every other day, and even started following each other on their socials. Steve even stalked the account of Bullseye Axe Throwing just to watch the couple of promo videos that had Eddie in them.

The night before their date, they were talking on the phone, too excited to sleep.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to see you tomorrow." Steve was lounging in bed, looking at his date outfit as it hung on his closet door.

"Me neither. I'm still not totally convinced you're not just some dream made up by AI."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended. AI images can be downright scary."

"Take it as a compliment", Eddie said. "I get more points when you like me."

"...And you're still okay with Robin coming?", Steve asked for what must be the third time.

Eddie understood her concern. Meeting someone could be risky, no matter how much you talked. And he was the one that invited Steve to a place filled with weapons. It wasn't the most traditional date spot but Eddie had always dreamed of bringing someone there and showing them how romantic axes could be. Maybe Steve was that someone.

"Baby, I don't mind. I already told you. I'd love to meet the person who has intimate knowledge of your underwear drawer."

Steve blushed. He and Eddie hadn't really done anything since their last date, besides a couple of suggestive texts. He was sure that on Saturday night, all Eddie would have to do is shake his hand and he'd crumble.

"You know if you're good, you'll get to see it all first hand", Steve reminded him, his voice low now.

"Oh I can be good. You know I can be good."

Steve knew very well. So well that he'd touched himself to the idea this past week and after saying so to Eddie, Eddie had admitted the same.

"You shoulda called me, baby", he had said. "We could've coordinated our horniness."

Suffice to say, the anticipation for their first in real life meeting was thicker than a souffle pancake. When Saturday morning came, Steve felt like he was going to throw up. What if Eddie saw him and decided he didn't like him? They'd only seen each other through screens and Steve tried to only let his best angles be seen.

What if he didn't like....what if he didn't like his ears? Or his elbows? Or something else Steve had never even though of? What if he said the wrong thing and wasn't interesting enough?

"I can tell you're spiraling", Robin said from the couch where she was eating cereal and watching the news.

"Eddie is-"

"Just a man. A man who would be lucky to have you."

"Lucky to have me. Eddie would be lucky to have me", Steve repeated like a mantra, then sat next to Robin.

"You're a catch."

"I'm a catch."

"With an ass that won't quit."

"My ass has never taken a day off", Steve nodded to himself. "Okay. I'm good. Any cereal left?"

"Only the health stuff."

"Why do we buy that again?"

"So we can live long enough to grow old in the same retirement home", Robin reminded him.

Steve smiled. She really was his forever girl. And tonight she'd be going with him with what could be his romantic soulmate. No pressure? No pressure.

Tag Team (CLOSED)

Next part

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[hide-in-imagination]

Alright, I'm gonna talk about Margarita and why many viewers prefer Marrey over the main couple because the first season of Margarita just ended and I need to cope somehow.

Fair warning, this will be long, full of spoilers, rants, memes, and some references to Soy Luna because I can't help myself.

Okay so, just to give some context for whoever hasn't watched this show and came upon this post by coincidence: Margarita is a show by Cris Morena (same as Casi Ángeles) and works as some sort of continuation/spin-off of Floricienta because it follows the life of one of Flor and Maximo's children: Margarita.

The thing is, Margarita doesn't know she's Margarita, daughter of Flor and Max, because when she and her brothers were babies, some military man took over Krikoragán (the country Flor and Max ruled, yeah, they were royalty) and so everyone had to run for their lives, basically. Margarita grew up as an orphan because Cris Morena loves orphans, is obsessed with orphans, she can't not have orphans in her shows.

Anyway-- The main couple of the show, which is obvious from day fucking one, are Margarita and Merlín, who happens to be the son of the military man who dethroned Flor and Max lolol

Now, I know this sounds like epic romance, like, the daughter and son of enemies falling in love, blah blah blah. It could have been that way-- If Merlín wasn't so fucking stupid.

Cause here's the thing: Merlín is not a bad person, okay? He actually feels a lot of guilt because of how his father took over the country and basically destroyed Florencia's and Maximo's lives (who btw are M.I.A), so what does he want to do? He wants to marry the exiled princess Margarita as a way to return the throne to them. Noble, right? Sure. The problem is that, as I said, the real Margarita doesn't know she's Margarita. Instead, there's been a fake Margarita walking around all these years (who was tricked btw, she doesn't know she's a fake, she truly believes she's the princess), who everyone calls Daisy.

If you're thinking "Oh, this is giving Ámbar is season 2 when Sharon told her she was Sol Benson so no one would find out it was actually Luna" you are absolutely right, it's pretty much like that. The only difference is that Sharon was already rich before this; in this case, Delfina, Margarita's aunt, needed to lie and say she had found the real Margarita so she could access the fortune.

Anyway, moving on. The thing is, the show starts and Merlín is immediately going after Daisy and flirting with her, because again, he wants to marry her so he can give her back Krikoragán's throne. But at the same time, he and Margarita kinda fall in love at first sight (cause remember, they're the main couple of this show), so he's also seeking Margarita all the time and flirting with her.

So, we're not up to a great start, because it's literally episode 1 and this guy is already playing around with two girls at the same time. And listen, this could've worked, okay? Like, I get it-- He loves Margarita but because of his honorable desire to return the throne to the exiled princess, he has to go after Daisy, even if he doesn't want to. This really could've been a conflict of Love vs Duty, and it would've been fine... but. this. BITCHHH sdjkfnsdkdf.

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, MERLÍN IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!! The number of times Daisy asked him if he had feelings for Margarita and he lied in her fucking face!! Even after Daisy finds out that he wants to marry her to return the throne to her, HE STILL INSISTS THAT THAT'S NOT THE REASON WHY HE WANTS TO DATE HER, HE STILL INSISTS THAT HE TRULY LOVES HER, EVEN THOUGH HE IS GIVEN 94823489 OPPORTUNITIES TO SAY THE TRUTH. And what reaaallly annoys me is that Margarita wants to tell Daisy the truth, because she's her friend. And keep in mind that at no point does Merlín stop flirting and seeking Margarita out, nonono. So, of course, our girl Margarita is like "If you say you like me so much and neither of us can stop feeling this way about each other, then we have to tell Daisy, because otherwise, we're just going to hurt her."

And you know what really annoys me? That Merlín agrees. He agrees, and he tells Margarita yeah you're right let's do that, they had an AGREEMENT-- But guess WHAT? Later that day, Margarita finds out that he didn't tell Daisy ANYTHING. In fact, I think he told her again that he loved her for real, u know, like a LIAR, and Margarita is like ??

"Bitch, didn't we agree we were going to tell the truth?" and Merlín is like "Nah, sorry, babe. I still love you tho." LIKE THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR HE IS.

Listen, when I tell you Daisy sat them both down and literally ASKED THEM, 100% sincerely and with no ill intent, if they had feelings for each other because if so she would step aside, AND MERLÍN STILL LIED. FUCKING BITCH.

This could've been so different if Merlín actually tried to fall in love with Daisy. Like, if he told Margarita "I really like you, but because of duty, I have to be with Daisy" and stopped flirting with Margarita and actually focused on Daisy. Like, of course they would still yearn for each other secretly, but that would be the fun angsty part of it that would make all of us ship it. If we saw Merlín really try to follow duty but being unable to let go of his love, and eventually Daisy realizing this too, that her friends are in love with each other, and freeing Merlín from his responsibility toward her so they can be together. IT ALL WOULD'VE WORKED OUT FINE. Especially considering that Margarita is the real princess, so when that secret came out, Merlín wouldn't have to choose between duty and love because he could marry for love.

But no. They had to make him a detestable cheating liar. Because, do you think his history with lies ends there? NONONO, MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD, SIT DOWN, THERE'S MORE!

Eventually, Daisy doesn't believe his lies anymore (GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL) and is heartbroken but totally breaks up with him. And you, as a viewer, would think "Oh, okay, so he can be with Margarita now, there's nothing stopping them--" WRONG. Because then Petra shows up: Merlín's arranged betrothed. And Merlín makes eyes at her and seeks her out. And, okay, to be fair, he wanted to convince her to renounce her titles of nobility along with him, but did he need to make eyes for that? Debatable. Anyway, that's not even the main issue. The problem is that Petra somehow CONVINCES HIM to pretend to be ENGAGED FOR REAL, OUT OF LOVE, and show it to the world in a LIVESTREAM, so that they can later on renounce of their titles before the wedding and therefore making it a much bigger scandal internationally than if they just announced it on a regular Wednesday.

And since Merlín is a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, he AGREES TO THIS!!! This stupid, unnecessary plan!!!

And, of course, for this plan of theirs to work, they have to keep it a secret that the engagement isn't real, so Margarita is none the wiser. Merlín, for once, actually wants to tell her the truth, which would be okay I guess, if it weren't because the main reason why he wants to tell her is because MARGARITA IS DATING SOMEONE ELSE.

Please, picture this for a second. Margarita has been led on and then disillusioned by this guy for like two months by now. Eventually, she decides that enough is enough and she needs to find a new love (GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL). She does find a new guy to fall in love with, who also falls in love with her, and they start a very cute relationship, and then, THEN, THIS FUCKING COACKROACH, BLOODSUCKING PARASITE, has to come SEEKING HER OUT AGAIN because he just can not fucking let her be happy, I swear to god!!

So Merlín goes after Margarita, desperate to tell her that the engagement to Petra isn't real, tells her to keep the secret, and also that he loves her, and that he knows she loves him too, so they have to be together, and she can just forget about her boyfriend because she obviously doesn't love him like she loves him either way.

And listen. Again. This could've worked under different circumstances. If Merlín was somehow forced to pretend to be engaged to Petra for some reason or another, or if he was dating Daisy for real, like I said in the previous scenario, but seeing Margarita with someone else finally made him realize that he couldn't choose duty over love and so he begged Margarita to be with him, it would've been fine. I mean, still shitty for the third-wheel guy, but as an audience, we would've supported it, because they're the main couple and he's the main guy and we want them together.

But NOOOOO because Merlín is literally only doing this out of selfishness!!! I mean, let's keep in mind that the whole world really believes he's really engaged to Petra, and they have to keep it that way for their plan to work. So, when Merlín seeks out Margarita now, telling her that they love each other so they have to be together, what is he really offering her? He literally can't offer her more than dating in secret from literally everyone, because otherwise, his plan with Petra would go to hell. And did he ever consider that Margarita might not be happy with that??? To be his dirty little secret?? Like- she's already dating this other guy, who wants nothing more than to make their relationship public because he really likes her, and Margarita is supposed to set that aside for... secret kisses behind closed doors with Merlín??

No wonder Margarita tells him no. MORE THAN ONCE. And she tells him it's too late now because she's with someone else.

BUT DOES THAT STOP MERLÍN? NO. BECAUSE HE'S NOT ONLY A MYTHOMANIAC BUT HE ALSO CAN'T RESPECT MARGARITA'S WISHES TO SAVE HIS LIFE!!

Remember when they agreed to tell Daisy the truth and he didn't? Yeah. And now Margarita wants to move on but he's like "Nah." And in future episodes, he quite literally puts her on a plane and takes her to Krikoragán with him AGAINST HER WILL !!! I---

And they wanted to make it look comical, I'm sure the idea was for it to be funny, but by this point, we're so upset with Merlín that he could cure cancer and I'd be pissed about it.

I just think it's frustrating because I know what they wanted to do, I know what the writers wanted this story to be, but I'm sorry, you wrote this guy so completely wrong that we can't even sympathize with his struggles anymore. I just don't care if he doesn't want to be prince or whatever-- cry me a fucking river somewhere else.

And here's what's really frustrating about all this.

Let me introduce you to Rey. Real name: Juan, but everyone calls him Rey. Also known as: the third guy in the love triangle. Also known for: EXCELLING AT EVERY SINGLE ASPECT IN WHICH MERLÍN FALLS SHORT.

1. Doesn't lie: Rey is very honest and direct about what he thinks and what he feels. When Margarita asked him at one point why he knew how to pick locks, Rey could've lied and make up some excuse, but instead, he honestly said that his dad is a thief, and so he taught him how to steal from a very young age, but Rey doesn't want that life. Which brings us to the next point:

2. Has a more compelling/interesting backstory: Rey starts off as one of the bad guys of the show. He's conceited, mean, and bullies the neurodivergent kid of the group to the point that he leaves the house they're all staying at (he comes back tho). At first, no one likes Rey, the audience doesn't like Rey, because we have no reasons to. BUT it all changes when we start to see different sides to him. We come to see his mean behavior as an act, an armor he puts on because in the family and socioeconomic context he grew up in (aka, thieves, thugs, the strong devour the weak, bully or be bullied) he had to be like that to survive. We see how incredibly sweet he is with his little siblings and how he works his ass off to give money to his mom now that his dad is in jail. In summary, Rey is the typical character who comes from a shitty situation and wants to escape it, be better. He sees the art he makes as a way of salvation, his ticket to a better life, and when we, the audience, see that, we can't help but support him. It's a tried and true character arc and dynamic: people always root for the underdog.

Compared to his struggles, Merlín's theme of 'I don't want to be the prince, I want to return the throne to this other girl' simply... falls short. Especially when you've got Rey's dad threatening Rey with separating him from his family if he doesn't help him in his bad deeds, and actually does separate him from his family later on in the show, much to Rey's hurt and frustration. Compared to that, Merlín's goals and obstacles seem simply superfluous.

3. He's direct with what he wants/doesn't go after two girls at the same time: Rey, being a bad guy at the start, had a thing going on with the bad girl of the show, Única (picture Ámbar for reference, except Ámbar is MUCH better, maybe I'll talk about that at some point.) Rey wanted an actual relationship with her, but Única was being hot and cold, so, Rey told her that he wasn't interested in being played with and took distance from her. Then he took an interest in Margarita, and when she asked him about him and Única, he was being 100% sincere by saying they had nothing going on anymore and he was 100% single and available, because it was the truth, not at any point did Rey continue to make eyes, flirt, or anything with Única after he took an interest in Margarita-- UNLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE.

And once he started liking Margarita, he was honest and direct and told her. He told her he felt some chemistry between them and he was more than interested in seeing it through, and Margarita doesn't really deny there's something there (because she likes him too), she just says it's not the right time (she's still hung up on Merlín)

Which brings us to...

4. Respects Margarita's wishes: Sure, Rey flirts a lot with Margarita at the beginning-- he gets all close, tries to go for a kiss-- and some people could say he was being pushy, but considering Margarita was about to kiss him two times prior to that, it wasn't like he didn't have reasons to believe she might want to. When push came to shove though, Rey asked her: "How long are we going to keep fighting this pull between us?" And Margarita was honest in her reply: "I like some other guy, but I do have feelings for you, I just don't think right now it's the right time. When I feel like it's the right time, I'll let you know." Rey accepted that and he didn't push-- He still spent time with her, but he didn't try to kiss her again or anything like that. He waited for her to make the first move.

And she did. Margarita was the one to initiate their first kiss, in a moment when Rey was being completely vulnerable and HONEST (he could've hid the fact that his dad was threatening him to do bad things but instead he opened up to Margarita about it (MERLÍN COULD NEVER)), and it was a great moment.

5. LITERALLY TOOK A KNIFE TO THE STOMACH FOR MERLÍN: That bad thing Rey's dad was forcing him to do? Well, he wanted him to help two thugs kidnap Merlín so they could ask for ransom, but Rey stopped the kidnapping, getting stabbed in the process of protecting Merlín. Following this, Merlín tells him that he now considers him his brother, because he saved his life.

But how did Merlín repay Rey, his "brother", for saving his life?

BY STEALING HIS GIRLFRIEND.

HEAR ME OUT:

6. Respects Margarita's new relationship instead of trying to sabotage it: Remember how I mentioned before that Merlín could not fucking let Margarita be happy with someone else? Well, this is what I was talking about. Merlín knows Margarita is with Rey and doesn't give a shit. He keeps going after Margarita, telling her they love each other so they have to be together, meanwhile, let me remind you, HE IS PUBLICLY ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE. And sure, no one can 'steal' someone else's girlfriend, said person has a hand on it too, BUT considering Merlín literally put Margarita on a plane and took her to Krikoragán against her will... well, I'd say it was pretty close to stealing.

Keep in mind that Margarita told him several times to back off but Merlín did not, Rey also told him to back off and focus on his own girlfriend (RIGHTFULLY, BC WTF ARE YOU DOING FLIRTING WITH THIS OTHER GIRL WHEN YOU'RE ENGANGED?) but Merlín did not, and even after Margarita explicitly told him "It's too late, I'm with Rey now", Merlín still proceeded to take her to Krikoragán with him. He just doesn't give a shit what everybody else wants, apparently.

And, sure, let's be fair and mention that, by the time he took Margarita to Krikoragán, her and Rey were pretty much broken up-- BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE HE SABOTAGED THE RELATIONSHIP. RELENTLESLLY!!

I mean, remember: Rey is direct, Rey is not up for games. Rey asked Margarita if she still had feelings for Merlín and she lied to his face and said no. Later, when he found Merlín and Margarita alone together for the Nth time, he was rightfully pissed. He told her, quote: "If you want to have two guys fighting over you, be my guest, but I don't want any part of it. I'm not interested in being in a relationship with a girl who isn't sure of what she wants."

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 ICONIC BEHAVIOR. All second male leads should learn to be like him, tbh.

Now let's take a look at the reverse. When Margarita and Merlín start dating in the last few episodes of the season, does Rey try to get between them? No. And he's still in love with Margarita, the show makes sure to let us know that. But he doesn't try to sabotage it in any way despite this, in fact, he tells Merlín he's HAPPY FOR THEM ????? EVEN THOUGH HE'S CLEARLY BROKENHEARTED??

MERLÍN COULD NEVER.

7. Has better words of endearment for Margarita: Rey calls her Bonita (like Simón calls Ámbar, yes, we stan) and also Marbonita, which is a mix of her name and bonita, which, in case you don't know, means 'cute/pretty'.

Meanwhile, Merlín's love declaration to Margarita right before their first kiss was: "You are the queen of garbage and the queen of my heart <3"

Seriously, who wrote this? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS ROMANTIC? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

Which brings us to:

8. He's simply better in every way: Seriously. Name any aspect and Rey is far superior to Merlín. The only things Merlín has that Rey doesn't are 1- Money 2- The ability to make Margarita queen by marriage. But Margarita is not some social climber interested in money, so these shouldn't be important factors.

I would say Rey even has more emotional responsibility than Merlín, because even after he broke things off with Margarita and was angry at her for sneaking around with Merlín behind his back, he apologized for it ??? He was literally like "Hey, I'm sorry for being cold and rude towards you lately, I don't want to treat you like that, I'm just still hurt about what happened."

I-

AND YOU STILL EXPECT US TO SHIP HER WITH THE OTHER GUY???? BE FOR REAL !!!

Even in the final fucking episodes of the season Merlín could not stop lying. His uncle was threatening him with killing his little brother if he didn't immediately return to Krikoragán and marry Petra, but did he tell Margarita about this? NoooOoOoo. Their last interaction was him being all romantic and assuring her that this was not a goodbye, even though it WAS A FUCKING GOODBYE AND MARGARITA POINTED OUT THAT IT FELT LIKE A GOODBYE, BECAUSE HE CAN'T. STOP. LYIINNGGGG. Literally, it costs zero dollars to tell the truth, Merlín. He wasn't even threatened to keep the whole thing a secret, it wasn't like his uncle told him "Oh, and tell anyone about this and I'll kill your brother", nonono, he had complete liberty to tell Margarita what was happening, but he. chose. not to.

Margarita found out later anyway and called him, right as Merlín's plane was taking off, and you know what his last words to her were? "Please wait for me. Wait for me for your whole life."

WAIT FOR ME FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE?? MY DUDE, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE. YOU WANT HER TO STAY SINGLE INDEFINITELY WHILE YOU SOMEHOW FIND A WAY TO EITHER 1-DIVORCE OR 2- GET PERMISSION TO HAVE A MISTRESS?

And I know this was supposed to be a very emotional moment. Merlín was crying and everything. The actor is good, don't take me wrong, we have nothing against him. But the characteeerrrr. I just can not sympathize with him anymore. He always has 49238 chances to be honest and communicate and make things less complicated, but he ALWAYS. CHOOSES. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE !!!

And I'm not saying his character should be perfect-- ALL characters are allowed to have flaws, in fact, they have to have them, otherwise they wouldn't be believable. But when the same character keeps making the same mistake over and over and over again, I'm sorry, but my patience only goes so far.

(Also, a lot of people like to point out that Merlín is 21 and playing around with two 17-year-old girls. Personally, I wouldn't criticize him for it because we don't know how old Rey is, and if later on we find out he's 21 too or something, everyone's going to have to swallow their words 😂)

Alright, so this was my rant about why the main couple of Margarita is so annoying and most people in social media are begging for #MarreyEndgame

Do I actually think Marrey has a chance to be endgame? To be honest, no. Looking at the narrative, I don't see how they could make it make sense after the ending of season 1. If the ending had been different, there could've been more hope, but with the way things are, it just makes more sense for Margarita to end up with Merlín. How could they make her end up with Rey without the viewers being genuinely confused? Because everything is set up to build Marlín. The only way to get Marrey would be to kill Merlín off (*cough* like in Floricienta season 1 *cough*). Or, I don't know, have Margarita lose her memories?? And while she has amnesia she falls so in love with Rey that once she gets her memories back she's unable to get back together with Merlín?? But I can't see the writers doing something so drastic.

Of course, they could just say fuck it and give the people Marrey even if it doesn't make any sense in the narrative. By this point, I'd be cool with that, but I don't think Cris Morena cares enough about what the audience wants to do that. She knows the story she wants to tell and she's not going to change it because some people are pissed about it. Because when you're in this industry, you learn that you can't please everyone-- Why would she try to do that now? For numbers? For money? Would it really make that much of a difference if she doesn't make Marrey endgame? Doubtful. Sure, some people will not watch season 2 if there's no Marrey, but even then, people have to be watching to find out if there is Marrey or not, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, this was long, so if you read all of it, I'm both grateful and very sorry kdfjns.

RIP Marrey, you were bigger than the whole sky, you were more than just a short time 🥀

[generallemarc]

On the subject of Louis and lying/hypocrisy.

Louis's big thing is that he "never lies"-that he's been honest about what he wants from the very start and that most people are just lying to themselves to various degrees when they assume they'd be better off under his rule if they themselves lack the physical and mental strength he's expecting. But there's two massive exceptions to this, alongside one instance of staggering "wait, do you not remember your own backstory?", the latter of which I think is one of the games relatively few subtler moments. Firstly, at one of the several "final" confrontations with the party, Louis boldly declares to the crowd at Grand Trad that he will "offer his shield" to those who would join him in making his new world. Sure, he follows that up with the typical "anyone who opposes me dies", but that's still him directly making a promise he has no intention of keeping-he'll not be "shielding" anybody. If they can't make it on their own in his new world, they die, simple as. At this point the party has either forced him to start lying to maintain his position, or they've gotten under his skin to the point where he's now willing to compromise how he'd previously acted for the sake of getting one over on them.

WARNING: ENDGAME SPOILERS FOR THE OTHER LIE AND MOMENT OF HYPOCRISY

At the end of that same confrontation he only doesn't lie by the most paper-thin of interpretations, as he's very clearly trying to make the crowd believe that protag-kun turned into a human specifically because he was Elda, when in fact the magic Louis uncovered could do that to anyone, and did. When it's that blatant, a lie by omission is basically a lie outright. And as for the hypocrisy, this all started because Forden attacked the Eldan sanctum and killed everyone Louis loved, destroying his life and dreams. And Louis tries to finish off the party's hopes by...attacking the Eldan sanctum and killing the person they're fighting for, destroying their lives and dreams. This, I think, is supposed to be our first clue as to just how utterly broken Louis is, our first glimpse of his true mentality behind that dream that he's convinced himself he's following purely out of conviction. At this point, he's starting to take the party's goals personally. How dare they try and achieve the impossible like this, and more to the point how dare they get so far? A better world is only possible through the complete destruction of the old one, and the more they start catching up to him the more he wants to force them to see the "truth". Kill the prince, drive the country mad, whatever it takes to show them how things really are...or rather, how they have to be. They can't be any other way, or else his entire life would've been dedicated not to a grand, visionary plan to fix the world, but to running away from the real solution. And he can't accept that. Better to try and force reality to conform instead.

[litnerdwrites]

"We don't treat Elain and Nesta the same because Elain Apologised,"

Elain and Nesta aren't the same people. They can't be compared. While I understand that Nesta said some cruel things in that cabin, so did Feyre. While Nesta could've made things a bit easier on all of them, so could Feyre. They both have reasons to apologise to one another, so if you're going to condemn Nesta for not doing so, then Feyre deserves the same treatment.

But if Nesta did want to apologise, what makes you think it would be the second that Feyre got back? And in front of fae, no less. Nesta is complicated character who carries herself with pride and is considered a very private person, and is described as being queen like multiple times. The two have more issues to work through than just a few mean comments, and the moments they have the most sincere heart to hearts, are when they're alone. Without Rhysand peering from behind a door way, listening in and commentating whenever he feels like.

Looking back, in ACOTAR 1, we learn some of the myths humans tell about the Fae including that they can't lie, and they have to and that if you catch one, then it has to tell you what you want to know. Both of those turn out to be false, since fae can lie, and Ianthe caught the Surreal, but we learn in ACOWAR that it wouldn't tell her anything.

We can assume this means that the rules the fae follow in our mythology are the same ones that humans believe about fae in ACOTAR, meaning it's a fair assumption that one of the many stories about fae include never letting yourself be indebted to them. Saying things like 'thank you' or 'I'm sorry' comes across like as owing them something, and Nesta is, at this point, under the impression that doing so will cause the fae to hold it over her head and use to demand things of her for as long as she lives, if not ask something straight up impossible to make her more indebted to them.

On top of that, Feyre just asked her for a favour that could get her and Elain killed. The Mortal Queens could've just decided to have Elain and Nesta arrested and executed for collaborating with fae, or have them exiled even. It wasn't a small thing that Feyre asked for, and basically peer pressured her into, with Elain. So it's understandable that pleasantries and apologies are the last things on her mind, when her and Elain's life could be forfeit at any moment.

Even if Rhysand offers to protect them, what could he do? Nesta's under the impression that the Fae hate humans, look down on them and would treat them horribly if she crossed into their lands. Moreover, she has a whole life there, that they're suggesting she could drop to move to the other end of the country without so much as a message to their father? Or an idea of what's waiting for them? To abandon their home, friends, family and peoeple?

For what? Potential servitude? Amongst creatures she were taught were slave driving monsters? To live under her little sister's rule (cause even if she wasn't HL at this point, as fae, she has significant power over Nesta. Plus the ruler of said land they're offering to take her too openly favours Feyre, and kind of Elain but hates her, so she'd basically still be living by Feyre's whims) for the rest of her short life? Literally what part of that is appealing?

So Nesta not apologising to Feyre at that dinner, makes sense. Our girl had bigger things to worry about. She probably would have if she Feyre didn't outright abandon her to deal with her trauma alone, only showing up when she wanted to parade Nesta around at parties for her own joy, without considering how it feels to her. Or when her court, who don't like her and whom she doesn't like either, show up to insult her, and blame her for having trauma.

If Feyre and Nesta had more moments like the one in the library, or the one all three had after Az and Feyre rescued Elain, Nesta would've likely healed and apologised on her own. If the IC had just stayed out of it, then all three sisters would've figured things out, on their own. The IC just want something to complain about, so like the CON and the HC, they make a problem, and they complain that it exists.

Also, if I remember right, Feyre herself said she wanted to start over at that dinner. So unless Feyre or Nesta want to bring it up or talk about it, why does any of her family get to hold it over her head for the rest of immortality? Feyre literally just called it water under the bridge and all three of them were going through their own shit at the time, so let them actually work through their own issues privately, and I'll bet that they'll solve it on their own within a year.

[two-white-butterflies]

As Lovers Often Do - c.5

Description: Alyssa Strong was born to be Aemond's wife. As the dance occurs, certain consequences are levied upon her.

"An eye for an eye. A son for a son."

series masterlist | part four

“She would take him to faraway lands to observe foreign ways, so he could get closer to the strangeness within himself.”

― Fatima Mernissi

"You've been sending letters to my mother?" Alyssa peeked her head inside of Queen Alicent's solar - to see her lover casually lounged upon the leather seats. "Nothing but conversations that siblings ought to have," Aemond humored - eye flickering towards her direction. In all the years of seeing Alyssa, her beauty never ceased to amaze him. "How is the babe? Have they come out?" she inquired, settling beside him and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Not yet, but the midwives say that it is soon." he responded, forgetting about the book on his lap - giving her his full attention. "My mother has always been strong - this pregnancy does not seem to have a toll on her. I worried about her, truthfully. The gods have never been kind to our kin." she breathed, inhaling his scent of cinnamon.

He grimaced at the thought of pregnancy. His mother had a hard time carrying Daeron - it was her last pregnancy. He's also heard stories about Queen Aemma - giving birth took her life. A Targaryen Princess' battlefield is the birthing-bed. "It is a price that we pay," he could only respond. "Enough of babes - rather, let's talk about the progression of your relationship with my mother. I never thought I'd live to see the day that you'd two get along," she chuckled.

She gathered her gowns - taking a small step towards the table that held all the beverages. She fills her goblet with wine even though it was far too early to get drunk. "I could say the same thing, Isa. It comes as a surprise - I never expected Princess Saera to be civil." he stopped the words that were coming out of his mouth.

Her eyebrow raised, taking a sip of her wine. "What do you mean by that?" she asked - and he froze in his tracks. He's been taught that his half-siblings were enemies - that the only person that he could rely on was his own full blooded siblings. Rhaenyra wanted the throne; his mother said, and she wouldn't hesitate to kill their family. But Rhaenyra was different from Saera, right?

"There's always been a war between Queen Alicent's side and Queen Aemma's side. A silent one - I-I always assumed that Princess Saera would take Princess Rhaenyra's side."

"She wishes to remain neutral, I assure you. But what is there to fight for? Aunt Rhaenyra is made heir to the iron throne - it's been six and ten or six and seven years since the birth of Prince Aegon. If muñazma wanted him as King - he would've already done so." Alyssa was quick to apprehend.

Her relationship with Rhaenyra was always - stale, but having her aunt as Queen would be a wonderful precedence. It would show that women especially in this country had a right to society. A right to raise their voices and rule kingdoms. It was pure Valyrian prowess - and it was why she admired the older woman.

"The people of Westeros do not like her?"

"You mean the lords of Westeros? There are as much ladies in court than there are lords - we prefer the Princess Rhaenyra. That is of course, assuming that she isn't the only choice."

Recognizing that it was a losing game, Aemond only smiles. He'd lose everything if it meant being loved by Alyssa. He'd change himself. Love makes you want to be a better person - but it also gives you permission to just be yourself. "Is there something that you are not telling me, Aemond?" Alyssa inquires and he shakes his head.

A decision already formed in his brain - when the time comes ... when his father dies. He will bend the knee to his older sister. It was the right thing to do - the only thing that would make Alyssa happy.

"Nothing, merely politics."

(ALYSSA II)

I always knew that my uncle had a terrible habit of hiding his feelings. He would sooner put the realm to torch than tell me what he truly felt. He promised me a few fortnights ago that he'd ask my mother for my hand - marry me in the traditions of our house, but he hasn't done that yet. He's told Queen Alicent - but not my mother. He's afraid of her and Uncle Daemon.

I've also noticed another thing about my uncle; he's made of fire and gold. While other Targaryens are purely forged of fire - never forgetting, never forgiving - he has a cursed aspect to him. According to my mother, gold came from a star in the sky - it crashed down into earth and engulfed this planet with that beauty. It was a cursed beginning - and thus its existence was also cursed.

People fought for gold - people killed for gold.

Aemond is exactly that; cunning, chivalrous - but also homey. He knows his limits as a man. I could not stop loving him.

My mother whelped again sooner after - a girl. Her name was Viserra, after the doomed daughter of King Jaehaerys. The bards sing about her joyous nature, always smiling even as a babe. The King joked that I had finally found a worthy rival; I mused and joked in return.

But in truths, I felt replaced.

I was half-Strong - but this girl was a pure dragon.

"Will you visit your parents in Dragonstone, child?" my grandfather turns to look at me and I nodded. "Yes, I've been itching to see Viserra. I wonder who she looks like the most?" I replied with a smile.

Yes, I did feel replaced - but I was happy because I finally had a younger sibling. "Our men write that the birth was difficult. Have you asked Daemon about Saera, husband? Will Viserra be their only child?" Alicent asks her husband - cautious as always.

"Ah, yes. The birth was difficult but Saera affirms that they want more children. She has always been a responsible girl. She will pull through." Viserys talks about his daughters with joy - an opposite to the way he looks at his sons. "All is well then?" I ask and the King nods happily. "You know, your mother was about your age when she married your father." Viserys remembers, I freeze.

"You should already be searching for suitors, child. Fulfill your duties as a princess of the realm." Viserys teaches; I could swear to hear Alicent mumble 'lady' in correction. "There are still many things that I wish to achieve in this life, your grace. My lessons are not yet done." I reasoned, this was going to be something I regretted.

"For gods' sake. Have lovers - be happy. You are a Targaryen." he encouraged, much to the dismay of his wife. "That is not something a lady should do," Alicent argues with a scowl. "- it is about time that we engage Aemond with Alyssa. Mend the bonds that have been broken and unite our family." Alicent said something right for once.

"I will give you an ultimatum, Alyssa. Five years - find someone that you'll cherish - and if not, we'll make that choice for you." Viserys concludes, the Queen's eyes relax for a moment. "It is very important that we give the children their own choice - I've learnt that the hard way." Viserys chuckled, taking a sip of his milk of poppy.

"It was basically an indirect approval," Alyssa opened her mouth and Aemond seemed to be deep in thought. "First of all, congratulations on the birth of your sister. Second of all, I've already told my mother." Aemond comforted - seeing that surprised look on his beloved's face. "Why don't you tell my mother?" she questioned and he took a deep breath.

He looks to the side.

"I'm not exactly what your mother would want for you to wed. Didn't she promise you to love in a beautiful house near the sea? I've got no land, no rights, no titles of my own - what face can I show your parents? What face can I show the Lady Regent of Harrenhall or the prince that wields that Dark Sister?" he told himself.

In short words; he was not yet worthy of Alyssa - but he plans to be. "You are a Prince and ... I love you." she tilted her head. He seemed to be surprised too. It was the first time she's ever told him that. "You love me?" the sides of his mouth turned upwards. "You know what I mean - I see a future with you. A safe and comfortable one." she expanded - but the smile does not leave his face.

"You have to go through the formalities first - touring around the realm in search for a suitor - even though you've already found the one... Let me ask you something, Isa. When do you plan to get married?" he inquired and she shrugged. "Mayhaps a year or two from now?" she concluded and he nods.

"My mother has already been negotiating our engagement with Lord Larys - they're finalizing it. Making sure that it's perfect so that Princess Saera would have no choice but to agree. Of course, I've started being friends with your mother a few weeks ago."

"Calm down, Aemond. You're thinking about it too much. My mother has always adored you - she's always loved her siblings regardless." Alyssa reassured. "I am thinking about this too much indeed," he breathed. "Take care of the details, Aemond. I'll deal with the delivery." she placed a hand on his shoulder.

He was adorable.

"Marriage! By the gods. When I spoke to you about marriage, I did not assume that you already had your mind set." Viserys took a sip of his medicine. It always a pain to look at his oldest granddaughter. She looked too much like Aemma - but to hear that she already made her own decision, it reminded him of his own mother. "But do not tell my mother, please." she takes a step forward, staring deep into her grandfather eyes - that often looked like a mirror of her own.

"Oh my dear, do not pull me into trouble that I did not begin." he raised a finger and she sighed. "My mother is sick with childbed fever. I'm afraid that the news would shock her and be detrimental to her health. Please kepa, keep this secret for a few months - or at least until she gets better. Then, I will tell her myself." she promised - feeling that familiar anxiety gnaw at her bones.

She loves her mother - but she would not approve. Saera has loved Daemon since she was a child - but getting married young was wrong in her eyes. Her mother wouldn't approve - not even the King could stop her. "Alright, alright." the King relented, feeling his knees buckle at the weight of his own body.

"But I expect that you keep your distance from Prince Aemond until your engagement is formally announced."

>> next chapter

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A/N: I'm sorry for not updating in months. I had to take a step back after my boyfriend cheated on me to the thought of his cousin. (His cousin is a wonderful human being, and I admire her.) Please do not comment hate comments about him since we're still in the process of talking about things and such... I just hope that I'll look back on this one day and have a good laugh.

[morihaus]

Breath

"I thought it would make for a good story!"

A son of Skyrim sits on a log far, far away from the snowy shores of his birth. Beside him sit two fellow warriors, one from this land of dragons in the East, and the other from a land of swords even further East than that. When Njorri bellows out his explanation, the Yokudan cracks a small smile, while the Tsaesci's eyes bore into him.

"It's a lovely fine country you have here. It's hot! But not as hot as Morrowind, so it suits me more! And I ain't got any ash in my beard, like my cousin Holf is always complaining about."

"That's why you're interfering with our sacred hunt?" Siek-Shirue asks, eyes sharp like her tongue.

Njorri laughs and waves a massive hand. "Oh, nooo, I wouldn't say 'interfere!' I'm fit to help you! My da use to hunt dragons all the time."

A laugh bubbles up from Ensaf, the third who has merely played the spectator up til now. "Quite the name to live up to."

"Ain't nothin' special. Not like traveling all this way out East-- across that cursed ocean no less!"

The armored Akaviri turns to Ensaf now. "And why are you here?"

The trained fighter can recognize an itchiness about her 'host's sword-arm, the way her hand sits on her opposite thigh, inches from her scabbard; she knows that, even without any apparent weapon, Ensaf could produce one out of thin-air with only a breath.

"Me? Well, I'm looking for a story of my own." She adjusts herself on the log, easing up on her posture to try and relax the other woman. "You see, in the land where I come from, just about every swordsman's done something incredible. There's nothing left to make a name for yourself. But here... I can do something no one else has. At least no one from Yokuda." Leaning back, she tears her eyes away from her host and looks up at the clear skies of the steppe where the day is giving way to nightfall. "I'd heard rumors from sailors about an island full of dragons to the West... wasn't sure they were true until today."

"You've got no dragons back home?" Njorri asks, leaning over Siek to do so.

Ensaf shakes her head. "Afraid not. Plenty of serpents, but none that fly through the air like that... I would've picked a better opening if I had realized how fast they move."

"No dragons??? Skyrim used to be lousy with dragons, and so did this place, I hear, before Sek here and her pals--"

At this junction, Siek shoves the tall Nord back with a sudden burst of force, barking out a single syllable as the thrust of her hand sends him spilling across the grass of the camp. "Siek." She affirms, curling her lip up at the boisterous foreigner. Her fellow blades look over at the commotion, hands at their swords before she waves them off, assuring them things hadn't broken down... at least not yet.

Ensaf narrows her eyes in the split second it takes place, perking an ear and trying to tune in. As Njorri's dusting himself off, she leans forward again and looks to the Tsaesci. "That was the same technique you used to disarm my Shehai, wasn't it?"

Siek turns to face her, but defensive walls are clearly still up. After a moment of eyeing her up, she replies. "Yes. The Kiai is the greatest power we wield as Tsaesci."

"It's a lot like the Thu'um!" Njorri remarks, unbothered as he returns to his seat.

Siek whips her head around to him, riled up by that notion. "NO, it is not!

"You shout, things happen, sounds like Thu'um to me."

"You are a moron and an interloper! Your know nothing of what you say!"

Ensaf interjects. "Care to explain what it is then?"

"Ooh, please! I'd love to hear a story from a Tsaesci!" Njorri enthusiastically chimes in, the two warriors looking to their interrogator with inquisitive eyes.

She stops and takes a breath to center herself, finding it important to tell this story right, even if it's only for the benefit of two strangers who meddled with their hunt.

"Long ago... these lands were ruled by dragons. Our ancestors worshiped them as gods, fearful of their power, but in truth, their power came from the spirits of the world itself. Our arbitrary masters had stolen it with their domineering language. Our Mother, Tserida-Shak, learnt this from the Teacher, Boesha, who taught her the path of Tsaescence and the secret language of creation. Using the world's alphabet, Tserida-Shak spoke the first Kiai into the world, using it to kill the word in the dragon's throat. With our new martial art, we began our hunt to destroy all dragonkind and our duty to defend creation."

Njorri and Ensaf listen intently, poring over the words of this legend.

Predictably, the affable Nord replies first. "Not a bad story, but, it's a little tired, ain't it?"

"What?" Siek asks, disgusted.

Njorri waves his hands to and fro as he talks. "Men ruled by dragons, someone teaches them how to fight back, they do-- I mean, we Nords for example, we learned it from Paarthurnax, since Kyne told him so--"

"'Paarthurnax?'" Siek grows suddenly inquisitively, as well as revolted. "A dragon??? You were taught by a dragon???"

"Well, sure! How else do ya expect a man to learn dragon’s talk?"

Siek suddenly regards Njorri with an odd mixture of pity and loathing, wondering whether his people were still living under a different sort of tyranny, or if they were all-too willing servants who traded their dignity and humanity for power over other mortals.

Ensaf cuts through the tension. "It's actually not too different from how we learned sword-singing..." She offers, successfully distracting Siek from her disgust. With both of the other warriors looking at her, she elaborates. "Our people have always had many enemies, without and within, and many gods of the sword took pity on us. Onsi taught us how to make them, but it was Leki who sang us the secrets of mastery. She made the sword our soul. From there, we learned to make our souls to swords."

The Yokudan stretches out her open hand and begins to speak, or sing, her own language, belting out a few syncopated notes. A bright glow emanates from her whole body before beginning to coalesce, traveling down her arm and taking shape in her hand. With a flash, she now holds a long, curved sword that seems to shimmer like the surface of a pond. Even as Ensaf stops singing, Njorri and Siek can still hear the blade humming the tune.

"That's..." Siek begins, her voice fallen to a hush.

"Shor's Bones! You're doin' that all on your own???" Njorri interjects, leaning in closer to inspect the weapon. "That right there's some clever craft if I've ever seen it! Never thought of usin' the Thu'um for somethin' like that!"

Ensaf laughs, taking the Nord much more lightly. "I'm not sure it's all too similar to what you two do with your voices... I'm not communing with any spirits. Put simply, this is all me." She takes a moment to admire her Shehai, a great point of pride for her as a Sword Saint. Even if the battles she's won or the quests she's gone on pale in comparison to many of her illustrious peers, this sword still stands as her one grand accomplishment, totally unique to herself.

"You're right..." Siek is still quite amazed at the display. "We use our own spirits in the Kiai as well, but we don't... at least, I have never heard of a Blade who could call upon such a well of power from within." She manages to tear her eyes away from the still-singing sword and look Ensaf in the eye. "That aerial slash of yours-- I thought Ilni's winds had carried it for you, yet it was this 'Shehai' of yours?"

Ensaf nods. "Though now that you mention it, I suppose I could've used some help in landing it. Maybe next time I'll ask them." She offers Siek a smile along with this well-meaning jest. In all honesty, the woman's story had piqued her curiosity. It could be interesting to bring a few of her tricks back to Yokuda with her.

Njorri loudly concurs with Siek's observation. "I've heard rumors-- tall tales and all that, not so trustworthy as they are entertaining-- that some Tongues can use the Thu'um to change themselves, the way we can change the Qethsegolle by arguin' with 'em."

"Arguing?" Siek interjects, glancing back at Njorri as he once more leads her to question his morals.

"Aye, arguin'. Y'see, we Nords can't go about it exactly like dragons. With dragons, they just shout so great and loud that the Qethsegolle go 'alright, alright!' and do whatever it is they want. Blast this mountain over there, blow these clouds away, set that man on fire-- that sorta thing." The way he describes the interaction so simply, like a children's game, rubs her entirely the wrong way. Whether Njorri is blissfully ignorant of this or simply affords fellow men the same irreverence as he does the spirits, she does not know, but he continues speaking nonetheless. "We men ain't as loud as dragons by nature, so we've got to be a little more subtle, eh? Persuade the spirits! It's all about spinning the right words with the right tones, making this-do-that or you-go-here or whatever it is you're tryin' for! The Qethsegolle aren't a prickly sort-- 'least most of 'em aren't. They're busy keepin' the house Shor built standin' upright, so they're distracted most of the time. It's easy to slip things by 'em if you say 'em right."

It sounds like just another deceit to Siek, but Njorri, of course, views it all in good fun.

He turns back to Ensaf and guffaws. "Guess your sword-singin' cuts out the middle man, eh?" The Nord bellows out a laugh.

Ensaf joins him, but she also notices Siek still hasn't quite come around to the two strangers just yet, fascinated as she may be by her Shehai. If they were going to have any chance of sticking around and seeing this hunt through, they'd need to find some more common ground.

Her spirit sword still singing, Ensaf looks up at the stars above them. "We have a lot in common... but there's an old saying in Yokuda: 'you can't see the view from atop his feet.'" She gracefully turns the point of her blade down to the ground, resting it against the earth. "No two people can really, truly see the same thing the same way. Right now, we can't see the same stars, because I can't sit where you're sitting. I don't know anything about dragons or earthly spirits because we couldn't be farther apart when we were all children. We could spin yarns all night and we'd still be no closer to understanding it all."

Njorri easily accepts this treatise on subjectivity given his cultural proclivity towards tale-telling, though Siek waits to hear where the Yokudan is going with this.

"But different as we may be, I've always seen two things that all us folk have in common." Ensaf smiles. "We breathe, and we sing."

"Sing?" Siek raises a brow.

"Oh yes! We Nords love to sing! I s'pose I should've guessed Yokudans do, given the sword and all!" Njorri cranes his neck down to look at their captor. "What of you, Siek? Do the Tsaesci sing?"

"Well of course." She replies almost defensively. "But I don't see why that--"

"Go on, share a song with us." Ensaf urges. "All this talk of your great hunts and dragon-slaying, you must have some raucous ballads."

At the continued insistence of these two interlopers, Siek-Shirue relents. She begins to regale them, softly at first, with some anthems of war, rhythmic lyrics that sing to the glories of Tsae and the noble cause of the Tsaesci. Njorri begins to slap his knee to the beat, while Ensaf nods her head and taps her foot. The two even start to pick up some of the words.

Their impromptu and largely unintentional revelry does not escape the attention of the rest of Siek's unit, who become easily gripped by the infectious songs of their people. Before Siek knows what's happened to her, she's leading her whole company plus two foreigners in the devotional ballads of Boesha 1-13.

It's only natural that a Tongue and a Sword-Singer would take to song so easily, learning more, perhaps, from the joint fervor of this merry ritual than they ever could have through idle conversation. As the night wears on and tensions subside, they even share some of the songs of Skyrim and Yokuda with their new fellows, and just as they had learned, now the Tsaesci learn of their new companions through the most expedient method: their breath, and their songs.

[minetteskvareninova]

I finally realized why it always rubs me the wrong way when people compare Alicent to Hürrem: despite multiple genuine similarities between the two, people often use it to imply things about Alicent (and Rhaenyra) that are just plain untrue. Notably, Hürrem has legitimate reasons to worry about her sons' lives, while Alicent... Just doesn't. I am sorry, she really fucking doesn't.

First off, let's make something very clear - recent history of their worlds is very much on Hürrem's side, while with Alicent, it's a lot less clear. Notably, while the oldest members of the Ottoman dynasty, when the empire was just really just a small emirate in Anatolia, were able to peacefully coexist with their brothers and other male relatives that could challenge their power, as the empire grew, so did the propensity of potential candidates for the throne to fight over it. By the time Süleyman I. became the sultan, fratricide was very much an established practice. Ottoman succession laws were rather murky, and at the time the show takes place, the good old "to the strongest" principle was in place when it comes to deciding which prince was to become the next ruler. There was some sense that the oldest has more right to the throne than his brothers - hence Mustafa being considered the strongest candidate, along with his general popularity among the janissaries - but Selim I. did win the throne from his older brother, so it was hardly set in stone.

Then there's Westeros, which is a lot more complicated. Sure, you did have Maegor I. usurping and murdering two of his nephews, where the third was only saved by going into hiding, but notably that was only after the oldest one rose in open rebellion towards him. Now, Aegon the Uncrowned wasn't really in the wrong there, considering Maegor had at that point already burned the Starry Sept and generally showed himself to be the absolute worst. Aegon was fully within his rights to be worried about the fate of himself, his own family and the whole country. But it's worth noting, because even the most tyrannical king Westeros had up to that point didn't just shank his nephews completely unprovoked (as was at the time the show was set already an established practice for the Ottomans). Hell, Maegor previously fully supported the reign of his older brother, apparently for no other reason than because of affection between them. Even after they had a falling out because of Maegor's bigamy, Maegor went into exile rather than directly challenge his brother's rule.

Then we have Viserys I., whose claim was also contentious, but after it was cemented trough legalistic means, noone ever went directly against him. It's worth noting that Rhaenyra's claim too was established trough legalistic means (her father's decree) and just like Viserys' claim, it also went against the common practice of Westerosi succession. Admittedly, Rhaenyra's claim was much less stable, mostly because of her gender, but still. In addition, there is absolutely no indication that Rhaenyra would ever go the Maegor route if her throne wasn't usurped; admittedly, she would've kept a close watch on her brothers (and they might be in danger if there is ever an unrelated crisis during Rhaenyra's death - possibly, maybe), but that's far from the "certain death" scenario Alicent presents to Aegon the Trashy. And considering the alternative is a civil war, which also endangers the lives of her children... Yeah, keeping your head down and trying to appear as faithful as possible to Rhaenyra suddenly seems like a pretty viable option, doesn't it?

But that would mean Alicent has to firmly go against her manipulative father and place her trust in Rhaenyra just after she lied to her about *gasp* having premarital sex, and she just isn't emotionally ready for that.

Look, I am not saying Alicent doesn't have good character-driven reasons to be horribly, horribly wrong. But she is. By God is she wrong. Superficially, hers and Hürrem's situation are similar. But one of them is probably right, while the other is just wrong. And that makes all the difference.

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

you know...there's a chance sayaka's murder plan might've actually worked if she hadn't targeted somebody so fucking athletic. like, leon was one of the best athletes in the country and given a damn title because he was so athletic. he himself admitted he was the best player on his team despite hardly even trying, he was so gifted. i understand why sayaka targeted him - we saw him trying to impress her with his musical aspirations/"talents" earlier in the chapter, and he definitely seemed the most likely to be swayed by a summons from her. but like girl you didn't foresee that it might be difficult to overpower a renowned athlete? sure, he's not SUPER tall (5'9") or super heavy (148 lbs - about average for his height but light for a baseball player), but he was strong and had excellent reflexes. not to mention that she herself is pretty dainty. like there were a LOT of flaws in the "i'm going to surprise him and overpower him" plan when the target she chose was a damn ultimate athlete

so the hypothetical question is: could the plan have worked if she'd targeted someone else? let's look over the options. given who she is and what her general plan was, it feels obvious that she was going to target a boy, because boys are generally a little bit more swayed by her. so our non-leon options include byakuya, hifumi, taka, mondo, hiro, and makoto (no one knew chihiro was a boy at this point, so chihiro isn't included in the list). we can take makoto off the list, since he's the one she was trying to frame. byakuya and taka i don't believe would have actually responded to her summons each for different reasons (taka because it's against their decided-upon rules to be out at night and also a boy and a girl being in each other's rooms at night is "unwholesome" according to his own words lol, and byakuya cause he simply wouldn't give a shit and also would not think it was a good idea to listen - evidenced by him not responding to sakura's similar summons in chapter 4), so they would not be good options. mondo is a pretty huge and muscular dude who had exhibited some aggression and anger issues at this point (we all remember him knocking makoto out cold on day 1), so there's no way she ever would've chosen him as a target

which leaves us with hiro and hifumi as the options. and honestly...i think either of the two might've worked. yes, hiro is notably taller than leon (6'0"), and hifumi has a considerable size advantage on sayaka. but neither of them are athletic. hifumi obviously, and while hiro is pretty tall he never displayed any particular athletic prowess and in a later chapter it's shown that he is indeed susceptible to being snuck up on. i think they both would've responded to her letter and shown up - hiro ended up doing exactly that twice in later chapters (3 and 4), and hifumi later fell for and was manipulated by celeste's feminine charms AND in sayaka's murder trial said "who could resist the charms of the ultimate pop sensation?" (or something along those lines) so i'm positive both would've shown up at her summons for one reason or another. as for her actually sneaking up on them and overpowering them when the time came...it's possible. hifumi can't react quickly and could not run away fast, so she's got a shot if she can stab the right part on his body. not to mention he hated the idea of hurting girls or whatever so he might not have fought back anyway. hiro has proven he can run alright but his reflexes probably aren't the best and he can be snuck up on, and he's also on the stupid side, so if she gets the jump on him it's possible she can do it. this is all assuming she doesn't ultimately chicken out no matter who it is

so i actually really do think her murder plan might've worked if she'd chosen a different target, particularly one of those two. and then the whole of the DR universe is irreparably changed

[lihhelsing]

Unkiss Me

Eddie had decided he would play it cool. He was the coolest, chilliest person on the planet. Hell, even on the whole Universe. No one would be as cool as him even as he was about to ring the bell of his ex-boyfriend’s house. The one he was definitely not still hung up on even if they hadn't been together for an entire year at this point.

Nope. Definitely not still thinking about him every day.

Just play it cool, Munson.

The party inside Steve's house was loud, as usual. He hadn't been there for more than a year but it was just like he remembered.

Steve lived with Robin, who was the whole reason why Eddie was in this mess to begin with. He had run into her at a bar the weekend prior and she had insisted he had to come to her birthday party next Saturday.

Eddie had played it cool, like he always did apparently. Said he would be there, of course, especially when Robin said they shouldn't have stopped being friends for such a silly thing like him and Steve not being together anymore and Eddie had fucking agreed.

Why had he fucking agreed with her? Why on earth would he agree that he should absolutely stay friends with the only person on earth Steve shared a fucking brain cell? Sure, he could be friends with people that were also friends with Steve but he knew damn well Robin was forbidden territory.

Trying to stay friends with her was crossing a line and he knew it and still, he was there, standing in front of their house like a jackass.

To be completely honest, he had thought Robin was probably drunk when she invited him and that she would've forgotten all about him by the next morning. But then on Thursday night a formal invitation had showed up on his phone alongside a knife emoji that Eddie could interpret very well.

She would kill him if he didn't show.

Maybe Eddie was just really fucking dumb.

x

After realizing no one would be coming to open the door, Eddie let himself in, figuring he could find Robin and say happy birthday and then be out of there without ever running into Steve.

Everything would be ok. Completely fine.

He had tried begging Gareth to go with him but Gareth had plans with his parents on the other side of the country so, you know, Eddie was on his own.

Things with Steve hadn't really ended well. It was already established that Eddie was a jackass, so no surprises there. They met when Eddie's band went to play a couple of gigs at the club Steve worked in and hit it off instantly.

How could they not? Steve was just the hottest person at the club and Eddie always had a weak spot for pretty boys with little to no clothes.

Fuck, he was thinking about Steve naked again and that wasn't good for him.

Eddie grabbed a beer that someone left unattended knowing pretty well that wasn't the safest behavior but he just needed alcohol in his system so he could stop thinking about Steve for a second.

Sometimes he wished he could shut up his own brain for an hour or two.

The party was full, as was every single party thrown by the Harrington-Buckley duo. They both worked at the same club, Robin as a bartender and Steve as a stripper, and even without trying, they were always mingling with new people and throwing parties and being funny and popular.

No, Eddie did not resent them for that one bit.

He found the kitchen and opened the cabinet where he knew they kept the good stuff, so he could find a good tequila that would help him with his plan of getting shit faced so he wouldn't think of his ex or the impending possibility of running into him inside that house.

If he knew anything about Steve, he knew he was probably sitting on the couch, a string of girls and boys trying to get his attention with something silly and dumb like winning at beer pong or seeing who could keg stand for longer without throwing up.

So the only rule of his plan so far was to avoid that part of their rec room like his life depended on it and he would be fine.

Everything would be just fine if Eddie had the right amount of alcohol in his blood and just a tiny bit of luck to see Robin within the next ten minutes. If the Universe was nice enough he could be drowning his sorrows with a burger and a beer at his place in less than an hour.

But of course, Eddie Munson was never the lucky one.

KEEP READING

[justabigoldnerd]

Find The Word Game

Haha thank you so much for the tag again, @the-golden-comet !!

Rules: Share snippets of your work containing each of the words the previous poster selected for you (optional addition: if you can't find the word in your WIPs, or you simply don't have any WIPs, you can just write a sentence around the word)

My Words: hope, realize, tandem, fall

Your Words: chain, country, neutral, instinct

Hope: (From an unnamed MCD ficlet I may or may not have the balls to finish lol)

What if Gaby was right? It wouldn't be unlike their American partner to fake his death. But he would've told them somehow, wouldn't he? Gotten word to them so they didn't think he was actually dead. The CIA, then? Severing the last of his connections to people he cared for, who cared for him? Surely, when Illya opened the left eye, he would see that the man on the table wasn't his Cowboy. Taking a deep breath, Illya pushed upwards, revealing a thin, dull ring of blue in the center of a blood-filled eye, almost swallowed by the blown pupil. A knot formed in Illya's throat. A knot of hope.

Realize: (From "Never Fall In Love With A Stranger", a Library AU)

Illya loves this library. He's been going to it since his mother moved them from Moscow when he was twelve years old. The staff were always kind when the kids at school weren't, so he'd end up there most days. Then when he got older and began getting into fights, Ms. Kathy from the Children's Center always had an ice pack, butterfly stitches, and a snack ready for him. They never asked why or how he ended up with split lips and bloody noses, they just cared for him when he felt that no one else in the world did. He knew every inch of the building, from the aforementioned Children's Center, to the Reference Desk and non-fiction section, even the older ladies in the Heritage Center that he only visited to chat with. So when the first new face in almost twenty years shows up behind the Reference Desk, Illya notices immediately. And he feels….angry, for some reason. Betrayed. He isn't sure why, but the change makes his heartbeat thunder in his ears. There is a stranger in his library. A toddler shoots past him from the Children's Center, and only then does Illya realize he's been rooted to the spot. His face heats and he shakes himself out of his frozen state, pushing forward and resolving to spend the day with Mrs. Denise and Mrs. Patricia.

Tandem: (From "I Am Your Lover (I Am Your Jailor)" . I actually had to write a new sentence to include this word lol I've never written it!)

The sunlight was warm and soft, reflecting off of the last of the dew dampening the forest and making it glitter like emeralds. Solo's jaw was set in a purposefully neutral expression, but his knuckles were white on the reins. Parsdorf shook his coat to shake off some of the tension he was feeling, and Artem, riding tandem to him, sighed heavily.

Fall: (From "The X-Men From U.N.C.L.E.")

Gaby kept a two-way radio hidden on her at all times. She could tap into the frequency of it somehow and hear through it. That was how she was able to hide her deafness for so long. She was in high-school when a pack of boys a grade above her cornered her and took her radio, plunging her back unto silence while they laughed and jeered and threw it between them. The leader of them crouched in front of a trembling Gaby and spat something at her that she couldn't hear, waggling the radio in the air. When she didn't respond, he stood up and let it fall from his hand. Gaby flinched and tears stung at her eyes, but she kept her glare level, even as he stomped it to pieces.

No pressure to make a new one or use these new words for anyone who has already done/is planning on doing on of these!!! Gonna no-pressure-tag my usuals anyway 💕💕💕

@pippinoftheshire @yallwildinrn @huggiebird @too-young-to-fall-in-love @times-up-alone-tonight

@cha-melodius @heytheredeann @thattripleabattery and anyone else who wants to join!!