#these two are an awful combination
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The stranger's stare, it's piercing, emotionless. Lynette wonders if this is how she appears to others since she's been told that her own gaze is equally void of feeling or thought. ...She shan't look away before the stranger does. This is a contest she is intent on winning. / @dhahabibi
#dhahabibi#––– ❛ threads 【 lynette. 】#their stand-off shall be legendary#like omg#these two are an awful combination#in all the best ways
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Just imagining Widogast being in the presence of Fearne and Ashton for longer than 10 minutes and going “ what the absolute flying fuck”
Just, the morally dubious Fire Fey and Dunamantic Earth Genasi shall be his Bisexual Maelstrom 2: Electric Boogaloo, but in the “I want to study you like a very intriguing bug” wizard-type fashion
#anyways I think Caleb awed by the raw combined power of these two#fearne sets herself in fire and Caleb just jaw drop#though tbh she has that effect on everyone#critical role#cr spoilers#sorta
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y'knos what, let's make another deal.
The public receives: Catboy Charles (Bald Era to be specific)
You receive: $25 from whoever's willing to pay
put the wallet down this is the most youre getting out of me
#IM NOT EVEN TAGGING THIS THIS IS AWFUL#snap chats#i love bald men and i love bald cats but combining the two organically............ its not... thats not working in the brain i fear...
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DIVERSITY WIN!
the cannibalistic, skin stealing, eldritch abomination ROBOT is a LESBIAN!!!
Oh my! Now this is a LOVELY piece of fanart! The details you added are absolutely stunning! I adore the hearts you added.
You definitely got my good side, dear.
#// I'm gonna sob... You combined my two favorite edits of Cyn and drew them together#// I love the detail of Cyn hiding behind her hair like that's perfect omg#// This is so beautiful like I'm in awe here#// Thank you SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THIS!!!#// Everyone PLEASE REBLOG THIS!!! IT DESERVES ATTENTION!!!!#snowiwyvern#Fanart For Cyn#Murder Drones#MD#Cyn#Cyn Murder Drones#Murder Drones Cyn#Uzi Doorman#Serial Designation N#Serial Designation V#Tessa James Elliot#Glitch Productions#Liam Vickers Animation#Liam Vickers#GET SNUCK UP ON!
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'Blood and Gold' Anne Rice + 'Lolita' Vladimir Nabokov (fragments)
Marius talking about Armand // Humbert Humbert talking about Dolores parallels
#i wanted to make a post that would include humbert humbert marius and paul gauguin and maybe more#but turns out i forgot how similar humbert humbert and marius sound#they would be best friends I'm sure 🤢#DON'T BE FOOLED BY EITHER OF THEM#that's the whole point. don't get fooled#i had WAY more quotes but tumblr has 10 pictures limit#and it's a lot of reading anyway#but you get the gist#marius#armand#dolores haze#humbert humbert#also lolita described as auburn-haired and brown (i know hh meant tan shh) funnily enough combines the book and show armand's looks#i just think it's interesting that's all#marius 🤝 hh = flowery language covering up the truth of what they did#they're fascinating characters and awful people in-universes i want to study them like two strains of toxic mold#marius de romanus#more like marius marius
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animal death cw //
might be slowing down for real soon. we’re (tentatively) making plans to put spike down next week or sooner, depending on if he can recover today
#im not surprised and ive honestly been processing this for a while now bc hes on borrowed time as is#this is why i havent posted pics of him. he looks and feels awful and it feels wrong to post that online#but todays been awful for him. he hasnt eaten much the past two days and he couldnt keep down what he has eaten#his nose is dry#im just sitting with him right now making sure my brothers leave him alone and to have someone by him#idk if ill be less online bc honestly going online and ignoring reality is sorta My Thing but this combined w current events is just#a bit much for me so i may retreat into a healthier thing instead#echoed voice
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i feel the warmth in my chest (and the chill on my skin makes it that much clearer)
(1,964 words)
Evan and Gregory, while waiting those few agonizing hours before Halloween can truly begin, go outside into the chilly weather and play in the leaves.
🎃🍫👻
It's a crisp Autumn afternoon when Evan steps out onto Gregorys porch. The screen door slams behind him, and the air transitions from warm to chilly in only seconds. The breeze washes over his face like a wave, and Evan finds he dosnt mind the cold that much in this moment.
It makes his nose numb and his fingers freezing, but unlike how he usually feels about the cold, he welcomes it. He takes a deep breath, smelling the scent of fallen leaves and crisp air and the pumpkins Evan had carved with Gregory last week sitting by his feet next to the stairs. It fills his lungs, and alongside the aftertaste of Aunt Chicas cookies on his tongue, the chill is pleasant, unlike how its usually so unbearing and biting in his own home.
It doesnt take long for the temperature to wash over him fully. By the time hes stepping down the stairs, his thin,white overcoat flowing behind him, its left his shoulders shaking and his teeth chattering.
But so like he's not used to, the deep, bone chilling cold only adds onto his excitement. It's that type of chill you can only get during Halloween, with that specific vibe and feeling coming along with it. Evan has never liked that unmatched feeling. All it ever told him was that Halloween was on it's way, and along with it, Michael and his pushing and pulling and jabbing and messing with. With the addition of the neighborhood kids jumping in if they'd see him walking down the street on the one night of the year it would be acceptable to scare him with scary masks and bloody fingers and camouflaging cloaks, it made for a pretty dreadful day.
He takes another look at his costume, a ghost, with white flowy sheer fabric that makes him look like he floated right down from the clouds. Underneath is a white sweater and pants, and his makeup is done to make him appear ghastly and, well... dead. Eyes sunken in with deep shadows and complection pale.
Gregory is matching with him, kind of. Gregory's costume is of a murder victim. Hes wearing sort of varsity jacket with a plastic knife stabbed in his gut, and his face is painted with bloody makeup and a faux black eye. Gregory hadn't explained the specific costume he called a 'Zombie Murder Victim High School Football Star', just gotten excited over the fact that they matched with their undead themes.
Its Evans first year matching with someone. His first year having someone to go trick or treating with. Theres something about this year. It doesn't leave him guessing. It doesn't leave him on edge, wondering who will strike first, all while being so uncertain but sure at the same time that something will go wrong. This year, he has Gregory and his family. This year, he has people who actually care about how he feels, and understand how to have fun.
This year, he knows Michael will be across town with his friends, and that his father will lock himself in his workshop. He knows that the neighborhood kids wont dare mess with him now, because of how many times Gregory has shown them a thing or two over the better part of this year.
This year, Evan isnt dreading the coming hours. He isnt hiding in his room, celebration or joy for the Holiday nowhere to be found, because he has to watch his back and sides. This year, he isnt considering running away for the night, even though he had always known he would never be brave enough to do it.
Instead, he's going trick or treating with his best friend, and he only feels excitment and anticipation, compared to the stark contrast of last year where all he felt was on edge and trapped in his own house.
The sun is only just setting by the time he steps onto that little pathway leading to the backyard from the front porch. Waiting for it to get dark has been agonizing. It had only gotten too much when he and Gregory were sat in front of a movie they'd seen a thousand times, makeup and costumes done, and unable to sit without wiggling or fidgeting, and Gregory had jumped up and gone "That's it! I can't just sit here anymore!"
That's why Evan's followed him outside. For the better part of the day Gregory has been more restless than a bored puppy.
Evan thinks the description fits when he finally catches up to Gregory and finds him digging through the shed in his backyard. Evan doesn't really know why he came out here. Theres much less to do outside than there is inside, but his intentions become clear when he moves to stand by Gregory's shoulder, and he goes Aha! while retrieving something.
Evan stares blankly when Gregory pulls out a rake, turning to face him and grinning at him. "Want to build a leaf pile and do cannonballs in it?"
He doesn't even have to ask.
It's not long before they're trekking through backyard, browning leaves crunching under their sneakers as they head to that big tree in the middle of the yard. When they get there, they waste no time grabbing the big rake and making the inklings of a pile on the flattest bit of ground.
The rake is heavy, and Evan can barely control it, if how it swings around and almost hits Gregory in the face is any indication. The handle is ice cold on his fingers, but it only makes Evan that much more aware of the excitment thrumming through his veins.
With Evan using the rake, Gregory takes to getting on his knees and shepherding the leaves to the pile with his hands. Gregory laughs over the dirt under his fingernails and how the still-damp leaves from the light shower earlier are chilly on his hands, and it makes Evan abandon the rake and get on the ground with him.
It takes longer than it should to finish the pile. They keep getting caught up in throwing the leaves at eachother like snowballs and using their hands to push waves at eachother like they're in a pool. The leaves end up more scattered than the were originally, and Evan has to get the rake again.
By the time they finish and theres a huge pile of damp leaves sitting in front of them, the sky is a dark, deep blue with the horizon a yellow. The sun is only barely peeking through the trees, and it's enough for the automatic porch lights to come on.
With the lack of sunlight, it's gotten that much colder. Evan's shivering enough that it makes his laughs warble, but he doesnt care. He doesnt care about the cold.
They only take a short break before they jump in. Evan lays flat on the ground, damp excess leaves and ice cold dirt underneath him. His throat is dry from the chill and how much he talked, and laughed, and his cheeks are sore from smiling too much. His nose is numb, and the thin, cheap Spirit Halloween costume does nothing for keeping him warm, but he doesn't need it.
Through the cold, it makes the warmth blooming in his stomach that much clearer. It makes the laughter bubbling in his chest and the excitement that the fun isnt even over, yet, he still gets to go trick or treating with Gregory after this, that much more apparent.
He has the warmth that spawned inside of him from spending time with his best friend and having fun with him to keep him toasty. So unlike his own home, where the chill is all there is. No warmth or comfort to adhere for that fact.
It's only now that Evan thinks that maybe, he doesn't really dislike the cold. Just how the cold is what comes with his unfeeling house and unpleasant family members and uncomfortable atmosphere.
Because here, right now, as he lays on the freezing ground, sky darkening above them and the last bit of leaves on the big tree in Gregory's backyard fluttering in the chilly breeze, he realizes he likes what comes with the cold, and not what the cold comes from.
With the cold comes the awareness of the warmth unfurling in his stomach. With the cold comes drinking the delicious, steaming hot chocolate Aunt Chica made. With the cold comes bundling up with his favorite sweaters, cuddling up under a fuzzy blanket, and watching a movie with Gregory.
With the cold comes those agonizing few hours before Halloween truly begins, and making a leaf pile with your best friend.
Evan knows his all-white costume is dirtier by the time he finally gets up, the knees of his white jeans brown and dirtied, but he doesnt have time to dwell on it when all he hears is a breathy laugh before hes shoved face first into the leaf pile.
Even through the leaves submerging his head, he can hear Gregory cackling. He sputters when leaves get in his mouth, and while regaining his footing after rolling around a few times, he wastes no time shooting up and grabbing Gregory by the shoulders.
Gregory yelps when hes yanked down with Evan, and all Evan is aware of when his eyes shut in glee from how hard hes laughing is the soft, scratchy, earthy leaves beneath him, the breeze in the air that just screams Halloween, and Gregory's body fallen on top of him.
Gregory grabs some leaves and smushes them into his hair. All Evan can do is screech at the wet chill before grabbing his own fistful and doing the same. Leaves fall over them like a wave when they roll around, wrestling in the yard.
They only stop when they get too tired to keep going. His costume is definitely dirty by now, damp like the leaves and dirt. The scent of wet earth and the cold and Halloween washes over him, and all he can find in himself to do is grin, and giggle breathlessly and chatter with Gregory as he lies on the ground, shoulder to shoulder with him.
Its almost pitch black by the time Freddy opens the door leading to the backyard, stepping outside, Frankenstiens monster costume and all. "Kids? Are you two ready to go? Its almost time for trick or treating!"
Evan only shares a fleeting look with Gregory before they both shoot up, previous exhaustion from their little fight completely gone. Evan runs side by side with Gregory to the door, his costume with the mud stained hem flowing behind him, and all Evan can feel in this moment is warmth, despite how his nose is numb and his shoulders are shaking and theres this chilly, floaty feeling in his chest.
He knows that there are definitely leaves in his hair when he steps inside after Gregory, and when the heat of the home blasts him in his face, making his freezing face tingle, the warmth prickling and sharp, Evan finds that with the cold can come the warmth, and maybe it isnt so weird that Evan feels nothing of the sort when it comes to his own house, and his own family.
It was never about the cold.
Just like how the warmth with Gregory and his family has never been about the temperature.
He only has time to grab his candy bucket (shaped like a mummified teddy bear) before he and Gregory are shooting through the front door, racing to Freddys car. He smiles even wider when the cold air rushes across his face again, and he can hear Gregory's footsteps next to him and Freddy and the others' voices behind them.
ao3 link
#feel like having a family that actively is out to get you and hates you would be awful on holidays.#in a way it makes you feel worse because maybe nothing is different#but the fact that its a holiday and youre supposed to be having fun but youre sitting here on edge and scared and miserable as usual just#makes you more upset#with evan its not even just the usual#really.#its the combination of having your mood soured because everybody is having fun celebrating and decorating with their families#but your family just. doesnt do that.#plus michael probably notices evans mood and gets his tons of scary masks he now has access to because of the halloween season#and torments evan times two. and now he has all of the tools at his disposal with multiple masks to choose from to target evans phobias#but anyway hes chilling now! literally.#he has people who love him and have built him up all this time and its not perfect#but man is evan happy he has them.#he gets to be a kid and relax and it makes his house a little more bearable when he knows thats not it for him#flashlight duo#gregory and evan#pandas writes#oneshot#halloween#fnaf gregory#evan afton#flashlight duo modern au#my fics
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I’m feeling very sick and honestly I can’t tell if eating would help or not.
#Pretty sure it’s from the combination of getting about two hours of sleep last night and trying to hold the fort down#And work. Work was awful.#I could not be a parent.#Mad respect for mothers.
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second question actually hey do you think people Know that muse is controlled. do people know that there's Nothing going on up in there and he's just a thing being piloted/puppeted/used by the trickster. or do people think that he is actively a person who is Choosing to do all this... side note almost accidentally it/its-ed muse here and i'm really feeling Some kind of way about that actually!!!!!! lays down and dies.
GOD OKAY. HM. both of those are so fucking good. god. i mean i think the people who Know Him (wards, mark, tide, etc) know that its not him. he would never do that. and besides the wards saw him with the trickster before he was even muse so theyd know he was controlled and would probably tell their divorced dads (or. tide at least) BUT LIKE. TO EVERYONE ELSE??????? WHO KNOWS. god. i mean like. the puppet strings Are visible so i think anyone with any familiarity with the tricksters powers would recognize it. but for the people who dont know the trickster..... i think they'd just see muse as his own person unless told otherwise. fuck!
#in my mind i know the trickster doesnt usually Go With Him but i almost always picture him there. which like. isnt the case.#god. fuck!!!! yeah. outsider pov he would probably look like just. a person who is choosing to do all of that.#i think its relatively hit or miss on whether the trickster makes him talk. i think muse has two modes and its either#eerily cackling as he destroys things (awful reflection of what the trickster is doing as hes controlling him!) or just like. deathly silen#which is ALMOST WORSE. scion ass vibes.#but like. obviously. not scion levels. hes not as scary as scion. ppl wouldnt compare him to scion AT ALL EVER#i just mean in the fact that theyd be. like. eerily quiet.#goddddd muse i love you muse#i think when he speaks its like . awful combination of ashes voice but the tricksters inflection.#sighs wistfullly. my boy he deserves to level a small town i think#asks#new haven wards#friends!!!#intertexts
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Mute Mario developing arthritis in his hands and having to find adaptive ways to keep using sign language, because signing is starting to hurt just as much as speaking does 💔
#🙃#why don’t I just combine these two headcanons/concepts I’ve been throwing around huh?#but also of course he’d find a way to keep signing#just more vague gestures instead of precise hand movements#deaf/hoh ppl obv get arthritis too so it’s not like the end of the world#but just another obstacle that makes him feel awful for a while 😢
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Important Ezra updates:
- I've doubled my salt intake to 6,000 mg/day (2 of the NaCl+KCl plus 2 of the 1g NaCl BID with food). This seems to allow me two hours of walking per day/4-6 hrs if combined with a corset. The cost is that my mouth tastes like salt at all times. Doesn't increase my thirst so it's still hard to get 2L of liquid in. So far no gastrointestinal consequences so my previous mishaps were probably due to too much citric acid in the electrolyte drinks.
-... That's it for health progress. I was really hoping for better from literally doubling but it's only been a few days so maybe there'll be more benefit from sustained therapy. Doc thinks we might need to double again, which I honestly don't know how I'll afford esp if I go back on Vyvanse. All that with T would have me at nearly $200/month out of pocket starting in January. But the salt is considered over the counter so even now the salt is out of pocket.
-having said that this morning I was able to do all the farm chores by myself without an episode. It wasn't safe and I'm pretty grumpy with my partner for not waking up to help me even tho we planned it around her sleep schedule. But I fed and milked ten goats by myself with minimal mishaps (they are naughty babies and I had limited ability to curb the naughtiness so there was a fair amount of illicit apple eating). And then after breakfast I was able to walk from the barn thru both pastures and back up the hill. I've had to rest since then and in between but it's so nice to be able to move my body even that much.
#it's hard to be in my parents house. does weird stuff to my brain#and like...idk. there's things that I'm like this is the normal gross of being a farm but my partner is grossed by it and i feel like me#by extension but also there's so many things that are actually gross and my parents are not on top of and that would require hours of work#to remedy. and i hate how Mom is managing the goats and the feed storage is awful and i hate the breeding decisions she's been making#tho it has made one or two nice animals almost by accident. if you combine nice stock randomly you will win now and then
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...dare i start writing it?
#my qualifications? NONE!#EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IVE ACTUALLY READ AND ENJOYED THE BOOKS#AND THATS CLEARING THE BAR IN THE STANDARDS OF ALL THE ATTEMPTED ADAPTATIONS#like who in their right mind made those adaptations? they were AWFUL no wonder they didnt get picked up smh#also. considering making this a musical inspired by Laufey's music? would it be awful to combine my current two hyperfixations? my only iss#e would be making some songs duets. otherwise like. i could just write my own music for it. it would just take a long time because I am a)#ever alone (i can only write music when im home alone) and b) not AMAZING at writing songs#but maybe thats just a normal songwriting thing cause i think i could rock the SHIT out of musical songs#the only reason i bring up laufey is because i think Questions For The Universe is so America Singer coded
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the implication that "Thomas Zane" isn't Thomas Zane at all anymore, but is the "Bright Presence" who has lost the plot and is having an extended identity crisis..... I'm going bananas over it actually. reverse Taken or Hiss
#like the ''thomas zane'' in the AWE cutscenes.... is it scratch? bright presence? some combination of the two?#who is he....#alan wake#remedy posting#*posts
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you know your boyfriend? yeah he smote our ruin on the mountainside so yeah sorry darkness took him and he strayed of thought and time. stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life age of the earth. but don't worry he's fine now and now also i heard he got a real rack. some might even say big n
#rowan screams into the void#lord of the rings#gandalf big naturals#im sorry i just had the awful idea to combine the two memes
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genuinely shocked that I'm not actually 17 anymore
#i remember being 17 much more vividly than 19#the glitter shimmering on my high school friend's cheekbones under the disco light#the taste of those chocolate chip cliff bars i always brought to school as an afternoon snack#the way i would unlock the lock combination in between classes and how cold the metal was#the pinks and oranges of the sky above the setting sun through the window on a day i stayed late#i remember so much of it so vividly that i'm surprised to realise that it wasn't just a few months ago#granted it was lockdown when i was 19 and it was pretty awful so i forgot it on purpose or something like that#it is so much of a blur. but still#i read books with characters who are in their late teens and catch myself going oh yeah they're around my age#no they're not xD#anyhow Thoughts!! i have age on the mind since i'm turning twenty two in a few months (which is surreal)#in more ways than one i still FEEL seventeen#songbird again
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I wish. I was better at answering messages
#if anyone has ever sent me a message. I am so sorry.#I get distracted and forget to answer#or I am all socialed out and have too low of energy to answer#or some combination of all three#and then too much time passes and I feel bad#I just see the length go up#one day. two days. three days. a week.#and I just. I feel so awful like I wanna answer but I can’t sometimes and then it’s been too long#so I put it off more but then it looks like I’m DELIBERATELY ignoring ppl#and I’m not!!!!!#well. I mean. I am. but not like THAT#it’s just. ugh. idk. I feel bad but I also don’t know what to do about this#kaz rambles
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