#these things still make me feel worthless and shitty sometimes honestly

[ljussangen]

I can not believe that within a month or so my man and I will finally meet our little sun. I will miss feeling his kicks and rolls and hiccups, but I am so happy that we will finally get to meet him. To see his face and his eyes, touch his skin and hair, hold him in our arms and give him kisses.

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Glue (Part 3)

Summary: John B and JJ get Reader back but need to have a talk with her about some things they heard her say to Luke.

TW/CW: Routledge!Reader x JJ Maybank, more mentions of gun stuff, more angst.

Requested?: No

Word Count: 1,621

A/N: Part 1 Here || Part 2 Here || I'm honestly glad I only did this in three parts. Imo somewhere around 1,000 words is perfect for an imagine. I hope the ending isn't disappointing... Requests are Open! Much love to all!

(Y/N)’s POV 

The zip ties around my wrists are starting to hurt. I glare at his back, drilling into his spine, “Why don’t you just shoot me already? I’m dispensable.” 

Luke shakes his head, “I’m not gonna fall for that darlin’.” 

“You’re a real piece of work, you know? Your son is the smartest, kindest, most loyal person I know, and you treated him like he was worthless. Hell, you even made him believe it. I spent countless nights bandaging him up because of your shitty little tantrums. I saw him at his lowest and I still don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve his loyalty and kindness that he obviously didn’t get from his piece of shit father.” 

Finally, Luke snaps. He makes his way to me and puts his gun under my chin, “You shut your mouth. That kid ain’t worth the dust under my boots.” 

“I fucking dare you to say that again. If it keeps you away from him, I’ll gladly take a bullet because he deserves all the happiness and love in the world not the threat of his worthless, shitty, man child father looming over his head.” 

He cocks the gun back. I grin, “Fucking do it. Put me out of my fucking misery. I spend every day watching as my friends and brother drift away. I spend every day wishing I was worth something, wishing I deserved the pity they show me. I know that’s all it is. They pity me. If I didn’t have them, I’d have no one and they feel sorry for me.” Suddenly, a loud bang sounds toward the front of the boat. Luke jerks his head toward the noise and then runs off. It’s quiet for a moment before there’s a tap at the window above me. I look up to see JJ lift the cracked window all the way open. He drops into the room, and I jump up, burying my face in his chest.  

He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “I got you.” He pushes me away from him enough to pull out his pocketknife and cut off my ties. He helps me climb out of the window to my waiting brother and then hoists himself up to follow. No one says another word as we race to the Twinkie. 

In the backseat, JJ starts looking me over. I wince as he grabs my shoulders. His eyes widen, “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- “ 

“It’s okay,” I mumble, “Can you pop my shoulder back into place?” 

JJ’s jaw clenches as he does what I asked before returning to looking me over. Having enough, I bury into his chest. He wraps his arms tight around me and kisses the top of my head again. Soon, John B is putting the Twinkie in park and getting out to check on me as well. He opens the side door but finds me refusing to leave JJ’s side. “Come on Little Bird, we gotta get you some bandaids,” John B say in attempts to coax me away from my safety net. 

JJ lifts me up and hops out of the van to carry me into the Sheriff’s Office. Inside, Sarah, Kie, Pope, and Cleo jump up to greet us. JJ carries me to a chair and sets me down. He grabs a first aid kit from nearby before returning to clean and bandage me up. Shoop exits his office, “I told you two we’d handle it.” 

“Well, if you hurry you might catch him before he wakes up and gets free of the chain,” John B declares.  

Shoop clenches his jaw and motions to several officers, giving orders, before coming to squat in front of me. I feel JJ tense up beside me and place my hand on his arm. Shoop takes a deep breath, “You alright, kid?” 

I look to JJ, “I am now.” Shoop nods and leaves us. 

John B joins us, “We need to talk (Y/N), when you feel up for it.” 

Sometime later when everyone’s gone to bed, I find myself sitting on the dock lost in thought. I hear footsteps behind me but don’t bother to look back. JJ takes a seat on my right, dropping his legs over the side of the wooden structure to swing them back and forth above the water. A glance over my shoulder alerts me to John B’s presence. He opted to lean against the banister to my left, staring out at the night sky.  

It’s silent for a few moments before JJ takes a deep breath, “Listen, we uh… we heard what you said to Luke.” 

Involuntarily, I cringe. That wasn’t meant for their ears. I meant every word I said but I only said it because I thought it’d never leave the room. I shrug, “It’s nothing.” 

“It isn’t nothing (Y/N). You’re my little sister. Why didn’t you come to me?” John B responds, sounding hurt. 

“I- I don’t know... I didn’t want to feel like a burden.” 

“You’re never a burden to us (Y/N),” JJ says before glancing up at John B. “I think I speak for us both when I say that we’d do anything to make sure you’re safe and happy.” 

I shrug again, not knowing what to say and feeling my nerves attempting to force me into my shell. John B squats down beside me and brushes hair out of my eyes, “You deserve the world. Anything you want, I’ll do my damndest to make sure you get it and I’m sure JJ would too. You’re the glue that holds us all together and I could never express how sorry I am that we made you feel less than that.” He kisses the top of my head, “If you ever feel like this again, please come to me come to me. If you don’t want to talk to me, talk to JJ. Just please let someone know so we can make it right.” I nod and taking a deep breathe he looks to JJ, “Maybe it’s about time, man.” He looks back at me and offers a small smile, “I love you Little Bird. Don’t ever forget that.”  

I return his smile and nod, mumbling an “I love you,” in return. 

He stands and pats my head gently, “I’m gonna go get some sleep. Don’t stay up too late.” I nod and watch him leave. 

It’s silent for a few heartbeats before JJ clears his throat, “Did you really- Did you really mean everything you said? About me?” 

I look over to him and he’s fidgeting with the rings on his fingers, “Of course I did J. Little does John B know that you’re the glue that holds the glue together.” 

He chuckles a small bit and takes my hand in his, fiddling with my fingers now, “So you’re not mad at me?” 

My brows scrunch together, “Why would I be mad at you?” 

“Because you got taken on my watch by my father...” he trails off. 

“You listen to me, and you listen well. I will never ever blame you for anything that that man does. You are not him and you never will be. Actually, you’re the exact opposite and I’d give anything to make sure you know that and don’t blame yourself.” He looks me in the eyes now, almost searching for something. I tilt my head at him, “What?” 

“Will you pinky promise that we’ll stay best friends and I won’t lose you if I say what’s on my mind?” he ask, offering his pinky. 

I take it in mine, “Of course, JJ. No matter what we always have each other.” 

He takes a huge deep breath, “I love you (Y/N). I don’t mean as a friend. I mean I’m in love with you. I know I don’t deserve you and it’s probably going to be awkward now, but I can’t stand knowing you think so little of yourself when I think so highly of you. You’re insanely smart. You’re hilarious. You’re always there for everyone when we need you. You’re always there for me when I need you. I just can’t-” I interrupt him by kissing him. At first, he seems hesitant but quickly he relaxes. As cliche as it sounds, his lips fit perfectly in mine. I can’t believe I fought so hard to keep from doing this all this time. When we finally pull away for air, he grins “From now on, that’s how I want you to stop my rambling.” 

I laugh softly and fully take his hand in mine, “I love you too, JJ. Like I said, I meant every word I said to Luke. You are without a doubt my favorite person on planet earth, and I want to make sure you know that.” 

His grin gets even bigger, “So, does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” 

I nod, “of course,” before kissing him again. 

We sat there on that dock enjoying each other’s presence and our newfound mutual feelings for hours. We talked about all kinds of stuff and shared kisses under the moonlight. 

JJ’s POV 

As the sun peaks over the horizon, I look down to find (Y/N) curled into my side and fast asleep. I smile to myself and admire the way her hair brushes her face and how peaceful she looks. I never thought I’d see the day where I got to call her my girl. Happiness swells in my chest as I carefully scoop her into my arms and head for the house. She’s still sound asleep when I lay her on her bed and crawl in next to her, pulling her close and drifting off myself with a smile permanently plastered on my face. 

Masterlist

More JJ Maybank Imagines

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Bruce: “Octavia?”

Octavia (Buff Batmom): “Yeah?”

Bruce: “Are you ok?”

Octavia: “…..no, not really.” Bruce: “Wanna talk about it?” *gently holds her hand*

Octavia: “…..*sigh* “Sometimes I wish what you see in me”

Bruce: “What do you mean?”

Octavia: “You see me as this perfect beautiful confident person who always fights back and never let anyone discourage her or make her feel like she’s worthless and you’re right. I don’t care what other people think of me. Is how I see myself is what matters. But in all honestly, sometimes whenever I look at myself. I just….don’t like it. I don’t like seeing myself in pictures or in mirrors especially when I’m upset. I made soooo many mistakes. I wish I could take it all back. Even little mistakes bothers me when it really shouldn’t. *Sigh* I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. I’m an adult, I should better by now but I’m still the same sensitive shitty child who overreact at the smallest of things. *Sigh* something wrong with me.”

Bruce upon hearing that:

How dare my wife talk about my wife like that

Srsly though he's pretty upset that she sees herself that way and is willing to do anything to help her improve her mindset.

[klodizzle]

Sometimes it feels like nobody will ever understand what I’m feeling inside of me, I mean, even I do not understand. I feel like I need to be put in a mental institution. I feel insane. Why do I feel things so god damn intensely? I feel like sometimes I wanna fucking explode, scream to the skies that I want to just be me you know? I wish I could be lazy, I wish nobody ever tried to depend on me, I wish that I could feel normal, I wish that I didn’t explode and then feel immense guilt over it. I just want to be able to feel. I want to be able to mourn my mother, I want to be able to be sad when I want to be. I want to be able to be mad without thinking it’s some terrible terrifying emotion. I want to be able to have conflict without it eating me away. I made my little sister scared today. I honestly scare myself sometimes. Why am I like this? Why do I make myself suffer? Why can I not see myself digging a hole and stop myself? Why do I drink? Why do I smoke? Why do I self sabotage so much? It’s not like I don’t want to be happy, it’s not like i don’t want to be normal. I guess if I want to be honest with myself, I am just trying to avoid dealing with things huh. I want to avoid my mom, I want to avoid everything that happened before and after she shot herself, I want to avoid my life right now, avoid the fact that I thought that after all this I found the love of my life, and now I’m still laying in bed going insane alone. I mean that parts my own fault but hahahaha is it not a motherfucker. I wish I could just believe I am worth something, why is that so god damn hard for me? I know bpd is definitely one of the reasons I see myself as such a pile of dog shit. I try so goddamn hard and I feel like I’m making progress and then I just fucking shit on it. Good going me! Big pat on the back! I am so god damn tired of this but I guess I don’t care because no matter what it still happens, I say this but was it not my choice to drink? I mean I didn’t know this is what would happen but still, it did. I’m just so so tired of dealing with myself, I’m tired of the things I say and the way I act and it makes me want to go back to the quiet little robot I used to be. Some days I don’t want to keep going but then I have to think about all the things that I would be leaving behind, I can’t leave Timmy, I can’t leave Yato, I can’t leave Zach or Maddie no matter how much they get annoyed or tired of me. I just can’t, it’s selfish and what would it help, literally nothing. I am no coward. I will face my shit hole of a life, even if I’m kicking and screaming through it. I’ve dealt with enough fucking garbage. I’ve dealt with never being anyone’s favorite, with my dad trying to kill me, with him abusing all of us, with my friends abandoning me without ever saying why, with me ex being such a fucking pos, with walking into the room seeing my mom after, with my shitty house and my shitty situation. All I want is to have a house that I feel at peace in with someone who really loves me and shows me it. I deserve love notes and flowers and sweet things. I am worth it no matter how bad my brain tells me I am. Maybe have some kids who I love and who love me. I don’t know, my therapist asked me where I wanted to be in five years and honestly all I can really think is fucking healed, done with this, done with feeling worthless, done with thinking that I’m not worth effort, done with being mean to myself and the people that I love. I am sorry

[letterstobojack]

Dear Bojack

Dear Bojack, its actually very strange that Im writing to you. I’ve never wrote a letter to anyone and yet somehow I found the courage to write to you. I just felt the need to tell you that you’re an awesome person, aside from your fair share of screwups you’ve still found it in you to want to help yourself. You never knew how to help yourself and that’s why you found your way into alcohol and drugs. We feel you, for many of us you’re an inspiration. We know the feeling of waking up everyday feeling shitty and depressed, always blaming ourselves for all the bad things in our life. I love how persistent you are at bettering yourself although you constantly stumble. I myself stumble quite frequently. I find myself in countless pits of despair and agony. I wish I could find out what triggers it. Perhaps I should follow your advice and seek a therapist soon. It scares me that I lose a grip of reality so often. What I mean by that is that I constantly find myself lingering on the past, I suspect this holds me back from reaching my full potential. But how could i when it’s just so hard. I know you know it’s hard because of how you were raised. Both parents being dicks, offering little to no guidance as a parent should. I have a beautiful lady in my life that I wish dearly she never saw me like this. I wish she never met this side of me but unfortunately I couldn’t hide it any longer, little by little she saw a glimpse of the darkness that hides beneath my smile... I find it hard to describe to her how I feel because she’s my everything.... when you see someone you love so much hurt to see you sad...... it really fucks with you. This is the reason why I try to hide it so much from her. I’m so used to bottling everything up that it became second nature to just simply smile and hide everything. I’d like to say that I’m a master at it, it’s a skilled art honestly. I could laugh hysterically until tears come out and yet still feel suicidal inside. That’s another topic. That... Suicide. I even hate the word because it sounds so stupid, but of course I only say this now because I’m not in another one of my episodes. No, I’m actually writing this with a very clear head. Suicide is something I kept secret for years. Since the very first time I tried when I was 13 to my most recent episode at 21... I never spoke out on it, mind you, I’ve had past relationships and opportunities to speak out on it but I never could. I hate suicide because it destroys me..... I can’t fully describe how it makes my body feel, I’ll try to the best of my ability.... Typically starts off with a strong urge to get away from everyone. Then I go into silent mode, this one is strange because I don’t notice it. I feel as if I’m just in my own world. Following comes an immense sadness, this sadness manipulates me. It makes me think things that aren’t real or it makes me remember things in the past that I so desperately seek answers for. The sadness drives me to completely isolate myself. Next up comes lingering thoughts as to how it’s my fault and how worthless I am. This is strange because I know how great I am, I know what I’m capable of yet when this sadness comes it blocks off my self esteem. I don’t know how it does it yet I know it does. Shortly after this, I proceed to medicate myself to try and alleviate the feeling. although this usually works, it’s the times that the pain overpowers it that frightens me. Once this darkness breaches my little barrier of self medication it proceeds to keep me in bed sulking and looking for an escape.... this desperate search for an escape is what I believe leads me to look at suicide as a viable option. Like I said, I’m writing this with a clear head and I feel so embarrassed to write this out, it sounds so silly Bojack. Unfortunately it’s not so silly when I fall into an episode. I sometimes catch myself falling into that pit and I feverishly try to divert it. it’s just that sometimes, I can’t. My life has been a repeated cycle of failures for the past 4 years. I used to have so much energy and power. I used to feel like I could carry a car. I used to feel attractive. I used to feel confident. I used to feel brave. I used to be ME..... I played sports, I worked out, I had friends, I laughed..... I lay in bed now, and it’s like the only comfort I feel. I lay at night holding my pillow full of tears wondering why I don’t just fucking go. I don’t even know why I cry I just do. I can’t say what exactly caused me to be like this I just know that I’m tired. I’m even tired of thinking about ending it. I feel something taking over me in the midst of all this, it’s a growing feeling of numbness. I fear it. I know once I become fully numb I’ll have nothing holding me back, I know I’ll just turn cold and empty. But I don’t want that.... it used to be a feeling I searched for but now I know that feeling numb is the scariest part of it all... I often lay here wondering why I could hear people laughing like I mean genuinely laughing, not a giggle or a smile, I mean a full on felt from the heart laugh. I think I’m just missing the part of my brain that allows me to be happy. I keep seeing ads online and on my social media about mental health and about how there’s help everywhere but it’s hard to accept it and finally talk about. I know that if you got help Bojack I can too. “It gets easier. Everyday it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it Every Day: That’s the hard part.”

[flying-elliska]

I came across another one of those "there is absolutely zero homophobia in this story about queer characters that's amazing !!! " posts (Or at least the op was intent on reading no homophobia at all in the text even when it was hinted at). And those types of post always give me such weird mixed feelings. I have seen a lot of them in the last few years.

I'm not discussing anyone's personal preferences - that is entirely up to them. And I also agree that I want more stories where queerness is not a big deal and people's problems come from other places. And queer characters can have the same amount of fun fluffy romance.

HOWEVER in the way ppl talk about queer stories (thinking predominantly abt book related spaces) these days it's often like any kind of obstacles or adversity makes it "bad representation" and honestly...that kind of worries me.

That's partly a matter of personal taste - a while back I went on a sapphic book reading binge and I found too many of them way too saccharine and boring and cutesy without depth.

But also - there is an element of cultural amnesia here that I can't help but link to the way some parts of online queer communities nowadays end up falling for conservative/queerphobic rhetoric often out of sheer ignorance (terfy bullshit, heteronormativity, assimilationism/wanting to be seen as normal at all costs/shaming queer people seen as too weird/gnc, sex negativity, gatekeeping, etc etc). It is still important for queer people who grow up in more progressive environments to know about the resorts of homophobia and heteronormativity. Because knowledge is power, and progress is never guaranteed.

Like it's amazing that more and more young people grow up without having to be worried about that stuff ! That's something the queer community has been fighting for for so long ! But still nowadays, a majority of queer people live in bigoted environments, and a majority of queer people alive have experienced homophobia and bigotry. And there is a subset of young, often very privileged in other ways, queer person generally living in ultra-liberal bubbles that I wish remembered this and was more mindful when they spoke. Because I have heard stuff that really made me angry - about how "tragic gay stories" were tired and annoying and overdone and less valuable. And like, personal taste, wanting more fluff, that's one thing. But calling stories that are often real people's past or even present worthless because they're kind of a bummer and not entertaining enough - well, that's deeply disrespectful, disturbing and circles all the way back to homophobic.

I was thinking about this the other day bc that mindset has influenced me in ways I don't like. I do often write homophobia into my stories and sometimes I feel kind of bad about it, wondering if it's like, perpetuating cliches or exploitative etc etc. But actually fuck that noise. Homophobia had a huge impact on me growing up. I grew up in a deeply homophobic environment - I was called a d*ke in disgust before I was old enough to know what it was, I first learned about queerness through images of characters that were all sinister, ridiculous, pathetic, or predatory ; bisexuality meanwhile was either invisible or supposedly fake or psychopathic ; I grew up surrounded by people making shitty jokes and casually using slurs, bullying people who didn't adhere well enough to gender roles (and a few times that was me, too), my bff in HS was all like "gay guys are ok but queer women are gross" - I soaked up that shit like a sponge and it's no wonder I didn't figure out my sexuality until my early twenties - I had repressed the hell out of that shit because it was so scary. Even though my experiences were not as direct as other people, it was still the ambient background to those very formative years. And still today - like, we regularly hear on the news about lgbt people being attacked, one of those attacks happened a few blocks from where I live ffs, and I supposedly live in one of the most gay friendly countries on Earth ! So I am well within my rights to explore that shit through fiction.

Do I blame people for wanting a break from that ? Hell no ! I do too sometimes. But I do NOT want to hear bullshit about how queer stories that are less than perfectly happy are somehow bad, regressive or less valuable.

I think personally what I truly want is more nuance. Sometimes I feel like we switched right from having mostly super tragic stories where queer characters were completely crushed by overwhelming oppression to a predominant mood that is very, like..."feel good stories only, homophobia is solved!!!!! If you still feel bad it's all in your head you're stuck in the past/annoying and we don't care about your trauma!!!!!" (hmmm big toxic positivity and online performativity vibes). I think the stories that have brought me the most, personally, are those where queer characters still experience some level of oppression but manage to fight the system/find some measure of joy and happiness regardless/crush their bigoted enemies while being very badass about it, all the while having epic romances and very full lives and also other complex problems.

I mean there is probably media that does this that I haven't found yet (pls send me recs if you have any). But it still feels too rare.

I don't only want fluffy escapism or idealism in fiction. I want to get strength and hope from characters who do manage to overcome less than ideal situations, I want to find recognition, I want to learn about other people's lives, and yes, sometimes, I want the catharsis and validation of tragedy.

And also ? I think you can still manage to address these things in stories and also have fluff and a happy ending. It's too often annoyingly one note, like characters who suffer too much are too broken to recover or hope/fluff is not believable in a world where bad things happen or you can't explore heavier topics in what is supposed to be a happier story like ! This feels like marketing segmenting bullshit to me. Life is beautiful and horrible all at once !!! The one doesn't exclude the other !!!!

[shorkbrian]

Jerk

Oh Jesus y’all I can’t handle these thirsts they’re making em flustered as heck oh no.

oh frick but really doe Bakugou is soooo mean and he’s probably the type that’s into degrading and humiliating his partner, totally has dacryphilia and can’t get off unless you’re crying big, fat, salty tears. He honestly likes you, likes having you around and enjoys your additions in class discussion. But you’re just so easy to bully, he can’t help himself. He tells you it’s your fault, if you put up more of a fight he’d back off. If you didn’t just take his insults and jabs at your character lying down, he’d leave you alone. But he never would. nasty dude.

(College au lol)

TW - noncon, NSFW, handjob, crying, Bakugou is not nice but what's new.

Sometimes he’ll corner you on campus, knows you have evening classes and waits to haul you behind the building as soon as your class ends. Talking to you in a quiet, dangerous voice as he forces you back there, his hot hands gripping your arm (far too tightly), his erection brushing against your ass with each agonizing step.

“Hey (Y/N), you little bitch, did’ya miss me? No? Too bad.”

“You better shut your whore mouth, don’t want the entire campus knowing how much of slut you are. Saying “stop” isn’t going to make me do anything but fuck you harder, stupid bitch.”

“What’re you gonna do, tell someone? Who’s gonna believe a pathetic little extra like you, hmm? I’m their quarterback baby, they can’t afford to lose me. No, you’ll fucking do whatever I say.”

Once behind the building, pressed against the wall, he’ll slap your face, once, twice. Red paints your cheeks, and you’re already crying at the sting. Bakugou just grins, enjoying every second as he squishes your face in his hand, bringing his face close to yours. So close, you can feel each hot puff of air on his every exhale. So close, you can see the beauty of his ruby red eyes, darker maroon flecking the bright iris. Pity Bakugou was so mean.

A beat passed, the two of you just looking at each other, breathing each other’s air. Then he kissed you, mashing your lips together, squeezing your jaw until you opened your mouth, let him inside like you always did.

When he pulled away, you were gasping for air, hand coming up to wipe at the tears streaming down your face. Bakugou huffed, before planting both hands on your chest and pushing. You let out a distressed cry as you were shoved backwards, loosing your balance and falling down into the dirt. You’d probably have bruises later. Who were you kidding, you were with Bakugou. Of course you’d have bruises later.

The blonde crouched down, cocking his head to the side as he watched you, eery smile on his face. You didn’t like that look. You scrambled backwards, pushing at the dirt and scuffing your hands until your back hit a wall. Bakugou stayed where he was.

“You’re so fucking stupid, only thing you’re good at is being a shitty little toy for others to push around. You realize that? That’s all you are. Nothing. Worthless little pussy on legs.”

His words stung, and you had to scrub at your eyes again, wiping away the fresh wave of tears. In doing so, you didn’t notice him stand up, stalk closer, until he was towering over your sitting form. When he “tch’ed” you jumped, looking up.

“Get the fuck up.”

You hesitated.

A hand grabbed your hair, Bakugou’s face twisting into a snarl.

“Now.”

You rose as quickly as possible, finding yourself face-to-face with your aggressor once again. Well, face-to-chest. Then you were flipped around, shoved against the wall of the building as hands began kneading at your chest.

“Mmm, shit baby, you’re always so damn soft.”

A gasp escaped you when he started pinching, grasp becoming firmer and more demanding until it hurt, the man pulling at your chest now. The hard, considerable bulge of his erection was humping against your ass slowly, as if Bakugou was savoring each little thrust of his hips.

“So easy. Bet you would bend over for anyone who asked, wouldn’t you? Slut. You’re just a little cockwhore, ain’t that right?”

He took a few steps back, pulling you with him until he could bend you at the waist, still grinding against you. But in this position, his cock was pressed against your clothed cunt, delivering delicious friction to your clit. You resisted the urge to wriggle your hips in order to chase that feeling. “Hey - “  A slap landed across your ass, and even through your jeans, you could feel it burn. “I asked you a question bitch. Answer me.”

You whimpered.

“Y-y-yes Bakugou..... I am.”

“You’re what? I didn’t quite hear that last part. ”

You could hear the sneer in his voice, wincing at the pressure as Bakugou groped at your chest.

“A-a cockwhore.”

“Fuck yeah you are, I can feel you getting wet down here.” He pulled away from your body, lending you relief for a half a second before he smacked your cunt, hard. “You’re so desperate!”

He was gleeful as he turned you around again, pushing you into the wall. He was always pushing. Pushing over your books the first time he met you, pushing your boundaries, pushing for you to come up to his dorm while his roommates are out, pushing your sanity.

You shuddered as the blond unzipped his jeans, groaning as the zipper pressed against his dick as he pulled it down.

Closing your eyes, you swallowed. You didn’t know what he was going to do next, didn’t want to see the manic look on his face as he decided which part of your body to get off on today.

You weren’t surprised when you felt his hands grab yours. He pushed himself flush against you, and you knew without looking that his cock was standing up proudly, bobbing against his stomach. If you breathed in too far, expanded your lungs, your could feel it twitch against your abdomen. You tried to take short breaths.

His hands guided yours to wrap around his dick, and the second you felt the hot flesh touch your hand, that’s when the waterworks really started. You were crying uncontrollably as Bakugou forced your hands around him, thrusting upwards shallowly, head dropping to your shoulder with a choked-off groan. He wasn’t squeezing your hands too tight, enjoying the soft, loose grip for now.

When the man grew impatient of this, he let go of one of your hands, reaching up at swipe at your face. He was trying to wet his hand with your tears.

‘C’mon (Y/N), keep crying.”

You were bawling, tears dripping off your chin, snot beginning to flow from your nose. Just like Bakugou liked it. He kept on wiping at your face, collecting the tears and snot and drool, before rubbing his hand on his cock. Then he’d make you jerk him, testing to see if it was wet enough for his comfort. The more time passed, the more tears fell.

It took a bit, but finally Bakugou was satisfied with the amount of wetness coating his cock. Grabbing your free hand again, he guided it back to his cock. When you struggled to rip our hands away, his grip just tightened, crushing your digits between his hands and his cock.

There was no preamble, no gentle beginning. Bakugou was thrusting like a mad-man, head once again on your shoulder. You could hear him moaning softly, above the slick sounds of the messy handjob. It was sickening. 

When his hips kicked up another notch, plump balls smacking into your wrists with each thrust, you knew he was close. It took just a few more frantic pumps of his hips before Bakugou was spilling over, hot cum dripping out, leaking onto your hands and dripping down to your shoes.

You tried to pull away again, letting out a desperate sob as Bakugou kept your hands anchored, his hips still moving, almost grinding himself up into your hands. His breath was stuttered, heavy and panting in your ear.

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, oh that felt damn good.”

Finally he released your hands. 

Reigning back in your sobs, you looked at them, fingers dripping and palm wet and sticky with the mans cum. You hated him so much.

The sound of pants being zippered drew your attention, head snapping up to look at Bakugou. He was watching you intently, wiping his own hands against his jeans. A sigh of relief. Usually he tried to fuck you, or get you off. It looked like tonight he would be satisfied with just a handjob. You were going to go shower until your skin peeled off, then sleep for a day or two, classes be damned.

“Wipe it onto your slutty little cunt.”

...

“What?? B-b-bakugou you-”

“Wipe it onto your. cunt.”

He leveled you with a glare, hands crossing over his chest. You were frozen.

“Geez bitch, do I need to do it for you? Just fuckin’ wipe that shit onto your pussy, it’s not that hard.”

Trembling, you obeyed, wincing was you stuffed your hands past your jeans, past your underwear. You cringed when you felt how wet your slit was, how inflamed and puffy you felt down there from Bakugou’s teasing rutting earlier. Bakugou watched with a smirk as you pressed your hands against yourself, doing your best to wipe off his cum. 

When you finished, the man looped an arm around your waist, causing you to squeak in alarm. You recoiled from his touch, breathing hard, but he wouldn’t let go.

“What, you thought you were done? Thought a fuckin’ lame excuse for a handjob would satisfy me? God - “ He snickered loudly, beginning to pull you along, forced to walk beside him “ - You really are a stupid slut.”

You bit your lip, tears still wetting your lashes. It was uncomfortable to walk with the amount of wet in your underwear, the thought of Bakugou’s cum just sitting there making your stomach roll, tensing.

“Can’t wait ‘till we get back to my place; shitty roommates are gone for a few days, thank fuck. Can finally try edging you all night, use your body like a toy and shit like that. Fuck, I’m excited.”

You were going to throw up. 

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Baby, You’re Perfect

Pairing: BNHA Boys x reader

Warnings: Weight insecurity, negative body image/icky thoughts, body shaming from relatives, talks about skipping a meal once, general stuff like that. Kirishima’s reader is actively trying to lose weight. Cursing/language throughout (but mostly in Bakugou’s)

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari

Author’s Note:

And here we have yet another request that is super old. I’m talking this has been chillin in my inbox for three good months. My sincere apologies, anon. And again, I’m sorry that that had to happen to you. Your grandma has no right to speak to you in that way. You’re making great progress and that’s amazing! Keep going strong, I believe in you. Anyhow, I had a lot of fun doing this request! We all need more chubby y/n on this website.

Yes, it says Hawks but I contacted the anon and we switched it to Denki bc I don’t write for Keigo (and we had a lovely conversation. they’re very nice :D). 

Also the first two insults are things that have actually been said/done to me irl (hehe tasty self projection) and the last one in Denki’s is from an episode from Tuca and Birdie (it’s a good show).

Anyway, be nice to people. Respect others and speak to them as equals. We’re all human beings here, trying to get by. We’re also like a month away from 2021, I shouldn’t have to say that >:(

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Sugar

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Bakugou:

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were tired of their faces, tired of their words. You were headed home early, and you would not be sorry.

You didn’t hate your family. They could just be a little . . . difficult sometimes.

At first, it had gone well. You’d arrived at your aunt’s house yesterday for a family gathering and met up with everyone. They’d hugged you and asked you how you were doing. They’d even asked after your pro hero boyfriend, who you had chosen not to bring along for the purpose of spending some quality alone time with your family.

But then it happened; the thing you’d been dreading, the type of comment you’d hoped against all things you wouldn’t hear this time. But there it was.

You were nearly done preparing for lunch, helping to place dishes of food out in the backyard for your family meal. Your aunt was starting to serve people food, and you happened to glance up to see one of your cousins making herself a plate.

“Do you want any more?” your aunt asked your cousin, ready with her ladle.

“No, thank you, I’ve got enough.” Your cousin flipped her long perfect hair over a perfectly narrow shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to get fat like—” her gaze wandered over to you, meeting your eyes pointedly, “—some people.”

You faltered. Had she really just said that? About you? Well, it wasn’t impossible that it would come from her, but seriously? Today?

You swallowed a lump that had started forming in your throat, setting down the new stack of paper plates. Your aunt shot you a pitying glance. Was she even going to say something? Would she call your cousin out on her words?

No. She just moved on. Moved on like you should have. But something about it stuck with you. Your cousin’s words and implications rang through your mind, making you feel sick to your stomach. You shouldn’t let it bother you this much. You were doing better, both with your habits and your confidence. So why did it hurt so bad?

The darker thoughts you’d kept at bay began to come back; you were worthless, you were ugly, you were undeserving. Why wouldn’t they stop? Why was your stomach churning and your hand shaking? Before you knew it, hints of tears began to prick at your eyes.

No.

You weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing you this way. But you were no longer interested in staying, any sense of hunger leaving you for sick dread.

Next thing you knew, you had said an early goodbye and put your things in the car, headed back home. Maybe driving wasn’t the best idea, since now you were alone with your thoughts. But crying wasn’t worth it. It was a bad idea, especially since now was the time to focus on the road ahead.

You couldn’t have gotten home sooner, a sense of relief washing over you once you pulled into the driveway. You unlocked your front door, pulling your bags in behind you. You heard movement coming from the kitchen as you set everything down; the sound of the faucet turning off signaling to you that Katsuki had heard you come in.

Heaving a sigh, you tried to chase the negative thoughts from your head. They shouldn’t be there, and it wasn’t something to dwell on. You were home again, and you wouldn’t have to deal with your family for another few months at least.

Bakugou’s head peeked out from around the doorframe, double checking that it was you who had walked in. “What are you doing here?” he called, ducking back to whatever he’d been doing in the kitchen.

“Hello to you too.” You tried to keep the tartness out of your voice, but some of it must have crept back in. The sounds from the other room stopped again, and the house went eerily quiet. Huffing, you dragged your luggage into your shared bedroom.

You felt drained, that was the only way to describe it. You couldn’t even bring yourself to hang your clothes in the closet. Giving up, you laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. You couldn’t help but hear your cousin’s words ringing over and over in your head, reminding you of the countless years of both internal and external torment you’d gone through regarding your weight.

The sound of footsteps in the doorway made you glance down, registering a spiky blond head of hair approaching you on the bed. You said nothing as the mattress dipped next to you, indicating that Bakugou had come up on your side.

The two of you were silent together for a long moment, and a stolen glance told you that Katsuki was mirroring you with his head resting on his arms as he stared at the blank ceiling.

“Are you going to tell me what’s got you in this mood?” he finally asked.

You sighed. “My cousin can just be a pain sometimes.”

“She the one you were telling me about or is it someone else?”

“Same girl.”

“Hmm.” Bakugou continued to keep his eyes trained solely up above. “What did she do this time?”

“Called me fat.” You tried to keep your voice even. You were simply stating a fact. It shouldn’t bother you like this, right? Even so, the tears you’d been forcing back once again rushed to your eyes, causing your tone to pitch. You swallowed them down again, blinking rapidly. This wasn’t something to spend time crying over.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Katsuki said, a little unhelpfully. “I don’t want to see you hating yourself.”

You frowned at this. “I don’t hate myself,” you said, thinking about your words for a moment before you spoke them. “I don’t hate my body. It’s just that . . . sometimes I wish it looked a little better, a little different. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough as I am.”

“Don’t tell me you think you’d be happier looking like everyone else.” Bakugou’s gaze had shifted from a blank one to a glare.

“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging. “It’s just . . . hard sometimes. Being like this.”

Finally Bakugou rolled to face you, taking one of your hands in his. “I know you . . . struggle with your self-image or whatever, but you can’t let it take over your life, got it? You can’t just waste it worrying about what everyone thinks of you. You’re never going to be able to please everyone, but if they’ve got a problem with you, then they can go fuck themselves. You want to know the one person’s opinion who matters most? Yours. You have to be the one who’s taking care of yourself.” Katsuki paused for a moment, absentmindedly fiddling with your fingers as he considered his words.

“You want to know who’s opinion is the second most important?” he continued, his voice starting to get a little more mumbly. “Mine. I picked you because I love you. I love everything about you, from your shitty, annoying personality to your gorgeous body. You are so much more than just ‘enough’ for me, so don’t go worrying about that. You’re everything to me, and you know that, right? I love you no matter what, so don’t let this ruin your whole day.” He kissed your knuckles, signaling that he had said his peace.

You smiled at him, a tear or two finally sneaking past your defenses. “How—how do you do that?”

“What?”

“Sometimes you say something horribly stupid and I swear I hate you, and then next thing I know, you’re telling me everything I need to hear.”

“Tch, I can be eloquent whenever I want. It’s a choice.”

“Alright.” You rolled over so you could properly face him. “Can I have a hug?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes, but nevertheless held open his arms. You happily snuggled into the hard, built muscle enveloping you, offering a beautiful contrast to your own soft body.

“Do you need me to talk to your cousin?” Bakugou asked. “I’ll do it.”

“Nah, let her go.” You nuzzled your nose into his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

______________

Kirishima:

You honestly expected your family to last longer when it came to keeping from upsetting you. Nevertheless, maybe you were being a little too optimistic. But come on, did they have to ruin everything the literal second you walked through the door?

Even after the scathing comment, followed by a half-hearted, hasty brushing off, you forced yourself to spend time with them. It wasn’t often that you got to see this half of your family, so you decided to ignore it with the rest of them.

But as you sat on the couch sipping tea, you were unable to focus on the light conversation buzzing around you. The event that happened mere minutes before played over again in your mind, causing you to wince.

You’d walked into the house, prepared to greet everyone and have a nice time, when your aunt looked up from her position on her arm chair. “Hello, (Y/N),” she’d begun. “Ah, look, you’re still fat.”

Your heart had almost literally stopped beating in your chest as you froze in the threshold. Had she just said what you thought you heard? You must have been mistaken, right?

Any positive anticipation you’d had of seeing your relatives had plummeted to your feet, and you strongly considered turning around in place and leaving without another word.

But you couldn’t do that, of course not. Then your aunt had begun to babble something about how it made you look cute like a baby, but her words had already done their damage.

You tolerated the rest of your afternoon with them, but it was a great relief to you when you were finally able to leave and go home. As soon as you pulled into your driveway, you exhaled a sigh of relief. It was over with, and it hadn��t been that bad.

Eijirou wasn’t home, but you knew he wouldn’t be long after you. You went about making dinner, knowing he’d appreciate it once he got home. He was always so tired these days.

Even so, as you stirred broth in a pot, your aunt’s words rang in your head. You vaguely remembered telling her about your weight loss a month ago. You figured you’d been making considerable progress, and you knew that no one was more proud of you than Eijirou himself. But had it really made a difference?

After a moment of fretting, you turned off the stove. You walked into your shared bedroom, flicking on the light. Your eyes caught sight of your reflection in the mirror. You frowned, going up to it. Turning your body this way and that, you tried to see if you recognized a change in your appearance. You lifted your shirt, only to wince at yourself and tug it back down. You pinched at your arms, your thighs, and your cheeks, growing almost angry at the way your fingers sunk into the flesh.

Maybe you hadn’t been making as much progress as you’d thought. Or the progress you had made wasn’t enough. Without you even realizing it, your mind began to toy with ways to speed things up. Guiltily, you found yourself wondering if Eijirou would notice if you just skipped dinner that night.

You shook your head to clear away the intrusive idea. No, that wouldn’t solve anything. Eijirou had told you that he’d help you lose weight the right way, so you’d stay healthy and be able to keep it off. It would be best to listen to him.

Still, you found your eyes glued to your reflection. You wouldn’t consider yourself vain, but there was something in the way that your eyes traced over your curves, wondering just how they might look on you if only you were a little smaller . . . .

Movement behind you in the mirror caught your eye, and you were quick to recognize a head of spiky red hair. You must not have heard Kirishima come in through the front door.

“Hello,” you said with less cheer than usual.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted you, coming up from behind to give you a hug.

You leaned back into his chest as you both stared at each other’s reflections.

“Checking out my perfect girlfriend?” he teased, referring to how your eyes continued to trace down your body. “That’s my job, you know.”

You snorted, gently rubbing at his forearm.

“So how was your family?”

“Okay,” you shrugged.

“I saw you left something on the stove. Are you doing okay?”

Oh, Kirishima. How did he do it?

You shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really have a good time there. Got a little upset is all.”

Eijirou frowned. “What happened?”

You took one of his hands in yours and began to play with his fingers, now determined to keep your eyes from catching another glimpse of yourself. “My aunt told me I was fat.”

You missed the flash of genuine anger that shot through Kirishima’s eyes. He knew this was something you’d struggled with for a long time. Your aunt had no business making comments like that about your body, especially now.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, deciding to keep himself calm for your sake.

You continued to fiddle with his large hands. “I just worry sometimes that I’m not doing enough,” you mumbled. “What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m just meant to look like this?” You sniffled, hating the sudden tears that were beginning to fill your eyes.

“Honey . . .” Eijirou spun you around and held you to his chest, running a hand down the back of your head as you finally let the tears slide down your face. You nuzzled into his shirt, appreciating the warm, familiar feeling of it. “Even if you weren’t able to lose more weight, you know I’d still love you, right?” he said in a tender voice. “I’d think you’re beautiful either way.”

He tilted your chin up so he could look into your eyes, giving you one of the most loving gazes you’d ever seen. “And besides, we’re not together because of how you look. I love you for you. I love your personality, and how you always say and do the cutest things.” He bent down for a quick kiss, caressing your cheek as he pulled away. “I love your laugh, and I love looking into your beautiful eyes . . . .” He kissed you again, beginning to gently guide your bodies to the bed at the other wall.

Eijirou laid you down in the center of the mattress, hovering over you as he went in for another kiss. “I love your body too. This body, just the way it is. I love how it feels to hold you at night—” he kissed your neck. “—I love your chest, your butt, your arms, your thighs—” he nuzzled his nose against your face and neck. “—your cute tummy.” He pushed himself up and gazed down at it with such a genuine expression of love, you almost started tearing up again. “The cutest tummy in the world. And I love it because it’s yours.”

With that, he bent down again and lifted up your shirt just enough to give it a little kiss. You couldn’t help but let a giggle slip from your lips, which only made his ruby red eyes dart up to meet yours mischievously.

“You like that? What if I did it . . . again!” He placed a second kiss in a different spot, going for another and then another. You broke out into laughter, the sensation of his lips and nose brushing over your sensitive skin making you squirm in his hold.

Soon, he was laughing himself. He nuzzled into your skin one last time and blew a raspberry against your skin.

“Eiji—!” you began to protest through a laugh.

“What?” He smirked at you, moving up and settling his chin in the valley of your chest.

You smiled right back at him, bringing up your hand to brush the backs of your fingers against his cheek. “I love you.”

Kirishima took hold of your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the backs of your knuckles as he looked into your eyes. “I love you too, baby.” He held your hand in his, getting lost for a moment simply looking at your face.

Eventually he sat up, laying down next to you and pulling you into his chest. “I’m proud of you too,” he told you, tucking your head under his chin. “I know you’re actively making a change for the better, and you’re doing really well. Results won’t happen immediately, you just have to stick with it sometimes.”

You sighed through your nose, taking his hand in yours again. “I know. I just get discouraged sometimes is all.”

“And I’ll just be here to put you back on track. You’ve got this, you know.” He hugged you tight against him, rubbing your back. “Are you hungry?” he finally asked. “I’ll help you make dinner.”

“Sure,” you said, chuckling lightly.

“What? We both have to eat, and you know me. I’m a hungry shark.”

You laughed again, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Yeah, a bit.”

“Well, there’s always more where that came from.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m here for you, okay?”

______________

Kaminari:

If there was one thing Denki hated more than anything, it was seeing you upset. 

He could tell something was off the moment you came through the front door. You were too quiet, and that bothered him. When you finally made it up to your shared room, Kaminari was already watching the doorway for you.

He noticed immediately that your eyes were puffy and a little red. Even your posture looked defeated and slumped over.

“Hey, Denks,” you said once you noticed him stretched out on the bed. His heart broke even further when he saw you try for a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” Kaminari got up, clearing the space between you so he could put his hands on your shoulders.

“I—I just,” you began to stammer out, feeling the flimsy dam you’d placed behind your eyes begin to falter. “I . . . don’t know if I want to talk about it right now.” You covered your burning face with your palms. “It’s stupid anyway. I shouldn’t let things like that get to me.”

Kaminari frowned, trying to figure out what might have made you so upset. But he wasn’t one to pry when it came to situations like these, and he knew you’d tell him on your own time.

Even so, he led you to where he’d once taken position on the bed, pulling you up with him. He knew that sometimes you simply wanted to be distracted from things, so he decided to do just that. Allowing you to settle in next to him, he picked his controller up from the covers again where he’d set it down.

You noticed he’d been playing Minecraft. You let yourself take a mild interest in his mining session that you caught him in the middle of. You watched him wander through a cave system; placing torches, killing the occasional zombie, and mining out various ores he happened upon.

What you didn’t see was how often he shot you glances, studying your face for any signs of you getting upset again. He saw when you finally took your eyes off his screen, frowning distantly as you twisted the material of the blanket underneath you.

Before he could ask you again what was going on, you opened your mouth to speak. “Do you think this outfit is too much?”

Denki faltered, confused. “No? What do you mean by that? I think you look really pretty.”

You pursed your lips. Clearly that wasn’t the answer you’d wanted. “I just—I don’t know.” You frowned and went back to avoiding his eyes.

“Are you going to tell me what happened today?” Denki asked. A sudden idea struck him. Before you could answer him again, he stood up on the bed and walked over to a shelf you kept just above it. He pulled down a large stuffed Pikachu he’d gotten you a few years ago, and went back to sitting next to you. “Would it be easier to tell him?”

Denki positioned the toy in his lap, grabbing hold of its little arms and letting it go through various motions, starting with a little wave at you.

You couldn’t help but snort at Kaminari’s antics, looking from the plushie to the curious but concerned expression on your boyfriend’s face.

“Your Pikachus are worried about you.” Denki lifted it up higher on his chest, continuing to fidget and wave the arms back and forth in a little dance. “You saw your family today, right? How did that go?”

Your face fell again and you shrugged. “It went well I guess. My grandma just said something dumb and it made me upset.”

Denki frowned, lifting the arms of the Pikachu so its hands were on its pink cheeks. “What did she say?”

You shrugged again. “I was messing around with my cousins and I said I looked like a snacc. And then she said that snacks were probably what made me so fat in the first place.”

Denki’s frown deepened. “That’s not very nice.”

“I don’t think she knew what I was talking about, to be fair. And maybe it’s a little funny. I mean, she’s not wrong.” You rested your chin in your hands, sighing. “It just caught me off guard. It’s a dumb thing to be upset over, like I said—”

“Hey.” Denki met your eyes. “It’s not dumb. You have every right to be upset.” He held his arms open to you. “Come here.”

You sat up, letting him embrace you.

“Do you need me to remind you how beautiful you are and how much I love you?” he asked from next to your ear. “Because I’ll do it.”

He took your shy smile as a yes, letting you settle back as he proceeded to lift up the stuffed yellow toy.

“Are you hearing this, bro?” he addressed it, throwing a serious look on his face. “The most gorgeous person on the planet is sad. We have to do something about it.”

Denki put the Pikachu’s paw on its chin, tapping it for a second before removing it again. “What’s that?” he asked it. “You have an idea?”

He lifted the toy to his ear, pretending to listen to it for a moment as he nodded along. Once he was satisfied, Denki scooched himself even closer to you. He brought Pikachu’s nose up to your cheek and made a kiss sound with his lips. Setting the toy down beside you on the bed, he motioned for you to come sit in his lap.

You obeyed, settling yourself in between his thighs and wrapping your legs around his hips.

“There you go,” he muttered, slotting his nose beside yours as he touched foreheads with you. “I love you and you’re the most important person in my life. You know that, right?” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “And I know that you can feel a little insecure sometimes with how you look. You’ve got bad days, and you have good days. It’s my job to be there for you on these bad days, and you can be there for me when I have mine. I want you to know that you’re so beautiful and I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

He connected your lips to his for a long moment, trying to convey all his feelings for you into it. “And don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less-than. They’re not the kind of person you should be listening to. Trust me when I say that you’re perfect just being you.” Denki wiped a tear trail off your cheek with his thumb, leaning in to kiss the skin there. 

“Thanks, Denki,” you said, your voice just above a whisper.

He gave you a soft, caring smile; his fingers still lingering on your cheek. “Is there anything you want to do together to make you feel better? We could watch a movie, we could snuggle, whatever you want.”

You leaned in and hugged him tight. “I love you.”

He hugged you back. “I love you too. You’re my sunshine nugget, and it would take a heck of a lot to ever change that.”

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Taglist: @basicaegyo​ @fourteenow​ @iiminibattlehero​ @katsugay​​ @nabo39​ @onepieceask​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sendhelpimstupid​ @xoxopam4​​ 

[anarcoqueer1994]

So I wrote this and I'm pretty proud it. Some pre-serum 1930s Stucky, period accurate homophobia. If you like it I linked my ao3 for the other two chapters. Am I cringy? Probs but whateves

It is probably one of the coldest winters Bucky could remember. He was thankful that the end of the day was finally here. The biting temperatures were amplified by the air off of the cold water. More importantly though, going home meant he could go check on Steve, his tenement mate, and long-time best friend. Steve have come down with a bout of pneumonia a couple weeks back. He is still fighting to get his strength back, still breaking out in coughing fits and struggling to get around. His weak immune system made sure that it was not going to be easy to get over this. Honestly, Bucky hated that he had to leave him alone all day to work, but they needed the money to afford the rent, even if their tenement was too small and the heat wasn’t the best. So Bucky just spent the day going through the worse possible scenarios in his head. What if Steve got worse while he was away? What if Steve fell somewhere in the apartment because he is too stubborn to stay in bed, and now couldn’t get up? Was he laying their freezing not able to get back to his bed? What if he…dies because I am not there to help him? But now he could get home and check on Steve.

“James!’ Bucky turned around to hear Bill calling after, as he walking away for the day. Bill was another one of the grunt workers at dock. Nice enough guy, kind of rough. Probably his closest “work friend.” Bucky waits for him to catch up.

“Yea?” he says casually, trying not to show the impatience in his voice for the man that is unknowingly delaying him from getting to Steve.

“Want to go get a drink with some of the guys? Maybe we’ll run into some dames desperate enough for a good time to give your ugly mug a chance?” He wiggles his eye brows jokingly.

“No thanks, I’m good, actually.” Bucky replies, turning to leave.

“Oh come on, you never come out. Let loose a little, pal.” Bill pushes.

“I just need to get home…” Bucky responds, a little annoyed at this point because of the hold up.

“What’s the rush?”

“It’s just Steve is at home and he’s expecting me.” Bucky lies. Steve wouldn’t care if he went out. He would tell Bucky he deserves it. In actuality, he was too worried to go out and have fun, not when Steve was at home, miserable.

“Come on then, invite him out too. You guys can meet us at the bar.” Bill offers.

“Maybe another night, Steve is pretty sick. Getting over pneumonia.” Bucky goes to turn away again.

“Then why are you in a rush?” He laughs. “If he’s sick, he’s probably just laying down in bed. No need to babysit.”

Bucky ignores he question and just repeats, “Like I said, maybe another night.”

Bill lets out a little amused huff. “Interesting.”

His tone of voice gets the better of Bucky. “Interesting? What is that supposed to mean?” Bucky interrogates.

“Nothing, man. Forget about it.” Bill half-heartedly replies.

Bucky of course will not forget about it. “No, what did you mean?” His voice a little more irritated sounding then he intended.

Bill shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “It’s just some of the guys…”

“Some of the guys, what?” Bucky urges.

“Some of the guys say you’re a little funny, you know.” Many of the guys on the crew have grown up in the same neighborhood as Steve and Bucky and as such have known them, or at least seen them for a long time.

Bucky feels a sudden weight on his chest but does not let it show. “Funny how, Bill?” though he is terrified that he know what he means.

“You know, you and that roommate are pretty close and have been for a long time. Sometimes it just appears…” he hesitates, thinking about how to say it. “It appears like you treat him how you would treat a dame you were into. It just seems a little queer.” From behind Bill, he could see some of the guys eavesdropping. Some are smirking, and a few other are snickering. Some even are shooting disgusted looks at Bucky.

Bucky stops his face from faltering from the apathetic look he has put on. He replies loud enough for those assholes who are listening in to hear. “Well, I can assure you Bill, that Steve is my best friend, and that’s all, okay?” In reality, his heart is beating through his chest. Had it been that obvious that he liked Steve? How long have they been passing stories about this.

Bill cracks a smile and slaps Bucky on the shoulder. “Yeah, okay. I knew those guys had to wrong about you. Come out and join us later if you change your mind.” Bill gives Bucky the name of the bar they’ll be at, as he politely listens, not intending on changing his mind. As he leaves, he can tell a lot of the guys do not seem to believe him.

Walking home, Bucky was stuck in his head. He didn’t think people could tell how he felt about Steve. Did he act more like Steve’s fella than his friend? How could they tell? To be fair, he hadn’t been lying about Steve just being his friend. Just because Bucky was a little “light in the loafers”, did not mean that he feelings for Steve were requited. Steve was such a good guy and a model Catholic. No way was Steve into him the same way.

Probably for the best since guys liking other guys that way wasn’t looked on very favorably. The anti-sodomy laws made that clear. Plus, he didn’t particularly like the idea of having to get into fist fight with guys who may make a remark at him…or god forbid Steve.

He shakes his, getting himself out of his own thoughts. He didn’t want to think about these what ifs anymore. Maybe he would try harder to act less like a boyfriend to Steve and more like his super manly, non-homosexual, best friend. Its’s not like he didn’t like women, he just preferred Steve more. But he could be less doting. He didn’t need to babysit his best friend. Bill was right, Steve was probably just sleeping and didn’t need him. Maybe he would just stop at home, check in momentarily, and then take them up on his offer to drink with the guys. He hypes himself up in his head as he reaches the steps leading up to his door. These thoughts left his head as soon as he opened the door.

He could hear a pretty bad coughing fit from the bedroom. The place was freezing. The shitty radiator must be on the fritz. It was warmer than outside but not by much. It couldn’t be more than 40 degrees in that house, the paper-thin walls doing little to keep the heat in. Bucky makes his way to the little gas stove. The tenement was only 3 rooms, the front room that consisted of a little seating area and a modest kitchen (if you van call it that. It was a little sink and gas stove, with one cupboard), the bathroom (the only room with a door), and their share bedroom. He turns on the oven, and leaves it open so the heat could radiate through out the place. He discards his shoes and jacket in the front room. Then he quietly makes his way to the back bedroom, not knowing if the previous coughing fit indicated if he was a wake or not. If Steve was asleep, he didn’t want to wake him.

When he walks through the doorway to bedroom, his friend is huddled under some the blankets. He notices that Steve is still covered in his own blanket, as well Bucky’s blanket that he had laid on top of him this morning when he left for work. Steve’s face sticks out slightly even though he pulled the blanket over his head. He is definitely not feeling great. He is awake but kind of staring off in the distance. His usual pale features somehow look paler when punctuated with the dark circles under his eyes. Of course, he hasn’t slept well in a while, constantly being woken up in fits of coughing and wheezing. He hasn’t noticed that Bucky has walked in. There is no way Bucky can leave and go to the bar though after seeing this.

“Hey Stevie.” Bucky puts on a smile, knowing that Steve hates when Bucky stares at him like some pathetic sick thing. Steve looks up and for a moment it looks like a light entered his eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago. Bucky likes to think he did not imagine it and Steve genuinely lights up because of him. Probably wishful thinking but it’s a nice though.

“Hey Buck!” He tries to sound stronger than he felt. He hated making Bucky worry but he knew his friend, He inevitably is. He pushes himself up lamely to rest his back against the wall behind his mattress. He is still wrapped up in the blankets, still shivering faintly. “So how was work?” Steve asks, just kind of wanting to talk to Bucky. He would never admit it to Bucky, but he hated feeling alone all day while the other man was at work.

Bucky makes his way across the room, sitting on the little wooden stool by Steve’s bed so he could face his friend. His smile had disappeared momentarily when Bucky thought back to conversation he had right before leaving. But he recovers quicky to reply. “Nothing special. Cold as hell though. And this damn apartment is freezing, not making it any better.”

“Yea, I think the radiator is busted. Tried to tell the sup, but I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m sorry Buck.” He gives a sad smile. Times like this made Steve feel so useless, couldn’t even make sure the heat was working so Bucky was cold after working outside all day.

“No problem, pal. Tomorrow’s my day off. I’ll handle it.” Bucky smiles before realizing how sad Steve still looks. He leans over and puts his hand on Steve’s blanket covered shoulder. “Buddy, I promise it is not a big deal, you cannot help that you are sick.”

Steve sighs miserably. “Doesn’t mean, it doesn’t make me feel pretty worthless. For god sakes, look how pathetic I am. I have both blankets and am still shivering like some babe.” He averts his eyes to his lap, avoiding Bucky’s gaze.

This breaks Bucky’s heart, to hear how little Steve thinks about himself. Steve Rogers had the biggest heart out of everyone he knows. He has gotten into so many fights (that he could not win) just because he saw some in justice. Steve was the best person he has ever met so hearing this from him is difficult. “Stevie…” the familiar nickname instinctively causes Steve to look back at Bucky. “I hate to tell you this, bud, but you are wrong. You are pretty great and all this stuff about being worthless or pathetic, is bullshit.”

Steve lets out a nervous huff before quietly whispering “Thanks, Buck…”

“Anytime.” Bucky smiles back at him.

“But, umm hey Bucky…”

“Yeah?”

“Here...” Steve starts to shimmy out the outer blanket belonging to the slightly older man.

“Hey no…” Bucky puts up his hands to signal to stop. “You need that, it is freezing in here and you are sick.”

“Yea but we can’t have you getting sick, either Buck. You may not have my immune system but you can get still get sick.

“Steve.” Bucky says firmly. “I will not take that blanket from you.”

Steve sighs, sometimes Bucky can be as stubborn as he is. “Fine but I can’t have you freezing to death. Come up here. We can share the blanket,” Steve says it so matter-of-factly, like nothing he said was weird. And I guess it wasn’t it is not like they haven’t shared a bed before. Except, in light the conversation at work Bucky can’t help but to start to over think it. Luckily for him, Steve clears his throat to get Bucky’s attention when he notices him staring off. “Hey Buck…did you hear me? Come on, get up here.”

Bucky wants to get up there, god knows he does. To Steve it seemed to be a very practical thing, cold apartment, limited blankets, two bodies make more heat than one, etc. But to Bucky, it felt like so much more. He loved being that close to Steve. And that was his problem. Thinking fast he says “I should start supper. I’m going to heat up the stew for us that Mrs. Andrews dropped off yesterday.” Mrs. Andrews being the nice widow from upstairs.

“Oh…” Steve says before letting a smile come back to his face. If Bucky didn’t know any better, he would say Steve almost sounded disappointed. He did not allow himself to dwell on it too long. Instead, he quickly stands up and makes his way to the kitchen. He throws the small pot of stew on the stoves so he can warm it up.

After a few minutes, he hears Steve shuffle into the room. It really was much warmer in that since the oven, and now the stove, have been on. Steve takes a quiet seat at their modest table.

“You didn’t have to come out. I would have brought you dinner, Stevie.” Bucky says, eyes on the pot in front of him.

“S’okay, I needed to stretch my legs…” No sooner did he say that, did another coughing fit came on. It sounded almost painful, and Bucky could only imagine how raw Steve’s throat must feel. He made his was to his friend, carrying a handkerchief to help with the mess of snot and flem coming from the other man. He stops in front of his friend, crouching down to be on his level. Bucky patiently waits for it to pass before handing his friend the little piece of cloth.

“Thanks Buck…” Steve said almost like he was embarrassed. Bucky instinctively squeezes Steve’s knee reassuringly, before smiling softly and getting back up. He walks back to the pot on the stove. Okay, he thinks to himself. I may be a little too doting. What Bucky did not see when he turned around was Steve smiling at him.

The rest of dinner is uneventful, give or take a few coughs and shivers. When they finished eating, Bucky has to turn off the oven He doesn’t want to leave it on all night, doesn’t want to risk a fire. It is still pretty early in the evening, only about 7:30 but he can see Steve is exhausted.

Steve stands up, but momentarily loses his balance. Bucky, overreacting, stands up and catches Steve before the smaller man can even try to catch himself. They find themselves in a precarious situation. Steve is leaning is weight against Bucky’s chest, as Bucky’s arm is wrapped around the skinnier man’s waist. Bucky’s cheeks turn red as Steve stares curiously at him.

After what felt like years of silence, Bucky lets go of Steve, realizing his friend must be confused. “Uh sorry, thought you were going to fall.” Bucky nervously rubs the back of his neck.

Steve yawns and says “Thanks, I almost did.” He actually flashes bucky a warm smile that honest to god gave the brunette butterflies. Get it together, Barnes. He thinks to hisself, as he watches Steve walk away to their room. He follows noting the apartment temperature going down again.

When Bucky gets to the room, he finds that Steve has set his blanket on his bed. “I told you Stevie, you need this more than me.”

“Don’t be an idiot.” Steve says between shivers under his own blanket. “Can’t have you getting sick too. And you are being weird.”

“What do you mean by weird?” Bucky cocks his head to the side.

“Well, it would make more sense to share a bed, two blankets and two bodies would be warmer, and we have done it a thousand times. But ever since you got home from work, you seem off. So take your blanket, punk.” Steve stares at his bewildered friend.

Bucky hates that Steve is so observant. He hadn’t meant to be weird. But now his stubborn friend was going to freeze tonight because he refused to not let Bucky have a blanket. He lets out an exasperated sigh, plays up the drama of course. “Fine. You win. Sharing a bed it is.”

Steve beams at him. Bucky should of know Steve would win this out. With Bucky, Steve could have anything he wanted. He had to face it, he was wrapped around the younger man’s finger.

Bucky makes his way to a pile of books on the ground, grabbing his copy of The Hobbit, before stepping out of his pants, leaving him in a shirt and briefs. He takes the book and his blanket over to Steve’s bed. He scoots into bed with Steve, both men adjusting so that the blankets now cover of them, their bodies inevitably touching on the small, twin size bed. Bucky sets his book on the nightstand, knowing Steve will fall asleep first and he’ll probably do some reading.

Bucky suddenly freezes when he feels Steve lie his head on Bucky’s chest, his arm thrown over the other man’s abdomen. Bucky’s arms are currently under his own head. This is new. Usually, they only got in this position through accidental readjusting while they are sleeping. Stuff that Bucky could just brush off. But now an awake Steve Roger’s is cuddling with an awake Bucky Barnes. He hopes that Steve cannot feel his heart racing in his chest. He continues to look up at the ceiling, hoping to nullify the blush creeping up his face.

Steve doesn’t seem to notice the other man’s reaction, or if he does, he hides it well. He whispers “Is this okay? I’m really cold and I guess I am trying to steal your body heat.” Steve’s voice sounds shy, almost embarrassed.

Of course, when Steve puts it like that, how can Bucky say no? He internally scolds himself for reading more into it. He tries to let out a casual laugh, though it sounded way more choked then intended. He lamely jokes. “That’s why you were trying to get me into bed. To use me?” He finally looks down at his chest, trying to see if his friend laughs. Instead, he is met with questioning blue eyes, genuinely concerned if this was alright. Even with only the dim light of a small bedside lamp, he can’t help but notice how those eyes sparkle. Bucky lets out a small, controlled, sigh and quietly whispers, “Steal away, buddy.”

“Buck?” Steve’s voice sounding even smaller this time. Bucky can’t remember Steve sounding so nervous about anything. He begins to panic internally even as he tries to stay cool externally.

“Yea Stevie?”

“You can say no, okay?” Steve whispers nervously.

“Steve what is it?” His voice more audibly concerned this time.

“Will put your arms around me? I feel like I just can’t get warm.” The way Steve asks is heartbreaking to Bucky, like he was worried Bucky would be upset.

For the first time, Bucky notices that Steve is still shivering. He had been so wrapped up by the way he felt having the smaller man so physically intimate with him, that he didn’t realize that the cold really was getting to Steve. He can tell by the way Steve was acting, he was embarrassed to make these requests. He knows Steve could be a proud man and to be in the position where he had to be so vulnerable was probably hard for him. So Bucky didn’t want to make it a thing, where Steve would feel obligated to have to say more. This was obviously tough enough. So without a word, he wrapped one arm around Steve, as the other fell over his own chest so that he cook connected his hands, locking Steve in, and trying to pull him as close as possible, trying his hardest to warm his sick friend.

Steve didn’t say a word, just flashed a tiny appreciative smile. They laid there in silence for a while before he finally heard Steve’s breath steady in a way that indicated that sleep finally overtook him. Bucky frowned because even in his sleep, the other man’s breaths seemed labored and congested. He hated that this was Steve’s life, that he couldn’t fix this for him. But at least he could help him for tonight. Bucky would be content spending the rest of his life as Steve’s best friend, even if it broke his heart know he could never be with Steve the way he wanted to be. This could be enough.

~~~~

A few hours pass by. Bucky had fallen asleep a little bit ago, still with his arms wrapped around the blonde. It is around 1 am when Bucky is disturbed from his sleep. He had become alarmed when he realized that Steve was no longer beside him. He sits up and desperately looks around the dark room, unsuccessfully scanning for his friend. That’s when he spots the soft glow of candlelight through the doorway coming from the front room. He notices both blankets are still in bed with him, so he worries about the offending temperature in the other room where Steve must be.

He makes his way out of bed, wrapping one of the blankets over his shoulders, and walks to the front room. Luckily, he found when he got in there, that Steve had turned one the oven filling the tiny front room with warmth. He spotted Steve sitting on their tiny old couch, kind of staring off. Bucky clears his throat, but Steve doesn’t seem to notice, still lost in his thoughts.

So, Bucky steps a little closer, stopping when he is a few feet away from his friend. A candle sits on the little crate they use as side table, the dim light barely illuminating his friend’s face. “Hey, bud. Couldn’t sleep?” Bucky says softly.

Steve doesn’t bother looking up, just keeps staring a head. He mumbles. “Was woken…up by something. You can go back to bed.” Steve looks visibly shaken and Bucky was absolutely not going to be able to just go back to bed.

Bucky instead takes a seat next to his rigid friend. Something was definitely not right. The way that Steve was sitting so stiffly, his face was distorted into a broken frown. At this level, Bucky can also tell his friend had been crying, blood shot eyes lit a glow from the candle. “Steve…buddy what’s wrong?” Bucky instinctively goes to rest his hand on the other man’s boney knees. To his surprise, Steve pulls his knee away, repulsed, still not looking at him.

Fear flashed through Bucky’s head. Had he done something? Had something happened while they were sleeping. Had Steve realized the way Bucky looked at him was wrong. He was trying to panic but that seemed fruitless. “Stevie…did I do something wrong?” Bucky didn’t recognize the voice that came out of his mouth. It seemed so broken and pathetic.

Steve let out a pained sigh, before momentarily pressing the palms of his hands over his eyes, like he was forcing back tears. Finally, he turned and looked at Bucky. He sounded frail; his voice laced with sadness. “No Buck…never. You could never do anything wrong. Its me…I am the something wrong here.”

Bucky immediately got defensive, worry coating his words. “What are you talking about? You didn’t do anything wrong? Please tell me why you would say something like that?” He may have been a little louder than he intended, as he felt terrible as he watched Steve recoil at his tone. He lowers his voice before softly placing his hand back on Steve’s knee, this time the younger man letting it rest there. “I’m…I’m sorry for yelling, Stevie. Can you please just tell me what happened. I am sure you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He watches as a tear starts to well up in Steve’s eye again, as he obviously tries to will it to stop before it falls defiantly down his cheek. The dam is broken and Bucky watches helplessly as his best friend falls apart in front of him. Without thinking, he throws his arms around Steve pulls him into a hug. Steve buries his head in Bucky’s shoulder, repeatedly whispering “I’m sorry.” Bucky quietly shushes him, while running his hand over the back of Steve’s neck, trying to sooth his friend.

After what seemed like an eternity, Steve pulls away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Bucky’s eyes are still riddled with worry, his eyebrows scrunched together trying to figure out what could be wrong. Steve whispers “I might as well show you; you will see eventually anyways.”

Bucky feels his chest tighten. What could be so bad that Steve would be this freaked out. He tentatively nods his head, preparing for whatever it could be.

“Buck?” Steve questions.

“Yea, buddy?” He replies automatically.

“Thank you for being my friend and …” There was a sad hesitation in his voice before he continues. “And I get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore after tonight.”

That thought breaks Bucky’s heart in two. A choked breath escapes him. “Trust me…that’s not going to happen. “

Steve can only give a disbelieving, sad smile in reply. Bucky is now terrified at what could have caused this all.

Without saying a word, Steve picks up the candle and walks to the door that leads outside of their tenement. Bucky gets the idea that he should be following him. When Bucky catches up with him, he notices Steve’s hand shaking as he reaches for the doorknob. Bucky does not rush him, knowing that whatever this was, it was hard. Before long though, Steve opens the door and steps outside. Bucky follows close behind. For as cold as it was inside, the outside was colder. Steve didn’t even seem bothered though, too consumed with grief about something to care.

Steve stopped a few feet away from their door and turned back around to face it. For a moment, he thought he was turned around to face Bucky. Bucky starts “Why…why are we out here, Stevie? It is freezing.” Bucky still only in a shirt, underwear and a blanket. Steve had been a little better dress but not sufficiently enough. The only thing that left Steve’s mouth was. , “Look.” As he pointed behind Bucky at their door.

Bucky turned around and he felt like he got punched in the stomach. On the ground around him were a few broken glass bottles, but that wasn’t the issue. The pale light from the candle illuminated 7 angry red letters, painted sloppily in red on their door. Bucky reads the word out loud, simultaneously deflating with each syllable. “FAGGOTS.” He feels like his world is spinning. Did someone know…about him? Was this the guys at his job? Had to be, after the way they looked at him earlier, knowing he was lying. Worse yet, they are throwing Steve into this. Steve didn’t deserve to be taken down with him.

He was broken out of his thought by the weak voice coming from the man slightly behind him. “I…I was woken up by the sound of these guys laughing outside. They sounded drunk…and you know how much of a light sleeper I am. I thought they were going away but then it sounded like they were at the front door. They were still laughing and I heard glass breaking. You were out.” Bucky silently curses that he was such a heavy sleeper as he continues listening, eyes still fixed on the door. “So, I got out of bed to see what was going on. By the time I get to the door, they are running off, and one called me…this before disappearing down the steps. I tried to go after them.”

“Of course, you did…” Bucky replies, not processing it all.

“Yea, well it was too icy and I am too sick, so I couldn’t catch up to them. When I turned to go back inside, I seen this. And…and I am so sorry Buck.” Steve’s voice crumbles, sounding pathetic and sad, and full of hurt.

That’s when Bucky finally turns to face Steve. “Sorry? Sorry for what? None of this is your fault.” His voice is soft, only focusing on his hurting friend, ignoring his own hurt and panic.

Steve lets out a sniffle, Bucky unsure if from the cold or from fresh tears. “That’s where you are wrong. They did this because of me…”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky stares in confusion.

“These guys…they must have found out…found out that I …I am one.” Steve looks to the ground, terrified of Bucky’s reaction. Tears falling to the frozen ground, his skinny body shaking.

Bucky is overwhelmed with emotions. The most prominent of these emotions though was sadness for his hurting friend. Understanding the irony, he was still heartbroken that Steve thought he had to keep this his dirty little secret. This is why Steve thought they wouldn’t be friend anymore. He was lost for words but needed Steve to know that He was there for the long haul and this wasn’t going to change anything. For the second time this evening, he found himself pulling the younger man into a hug, the candle dropping, putting itself out. “s’okay Stevie…it’s okay. I promise…” He keeps repeating as his arms threaten to never let go of Steve again.

After a few moments though, he noticed the blonde shivering. It was still the middle of winter after all. Without saying another word, Bucky pulled away from the hug(reluctantly) before grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. He drags him to the bedroom where the warm bed wait, Steve not putting up much of a fight. When they get to the room though, Steve pulls his hand away and quickly makes his way to his bed. When Bucky makes his way to Steve’s bed, Steve puts up his hands to make the other man stop in his tracks.

“Buck, thank you for not kicking my ass.” Bucky puts on a hurt look, not believing that Steve actually thought he would. Steve explains himself. “Most guys would have knocked someone out if they found out their best friend was a fairy. So, um, thank you for not doing that.” Steve nervously puts his hand on the back of his neck before continuing. “But you don’t have to lay with me anymore. I get that can be weird now knowing…” Steve still refuses to meet his eyes.

Bucky lets out a huff. He can’t let Steve sit here and feel like he is alone. After what Steve confessed, he thought it was only fair. Ignoring, Steve’s protests, Bucky walks to the bed and sits on the edge, facing Steve. The streetlight out the window dully lighting their faces. He rests his hands on his own thighs, suddenly clammy despite the freezing temperatures. He says “I know…” He stutters “I know… who did this.”

“Who?” Steve sounds surprised despite himself.

“Some guys from the job.” Bucky says sadly.

“Why would they do that?” The smaller man responded, confused.

“Today…they asked me if I was that way you know? They thought that I treated you differently then how a guy should treat his friend.”

“Oh…” is all that escapes Steve’s mouth, Bucky watching an “O” form on the other’s lips.

“I…um of course…told them they were wrong but I guess they didn’t believe me. I’m sorry Steve. I guess…um…” Bucky stops, unsure if he wanted to finish.

“You guess what?” Steve asks, curiosity getting the best of him as he finally locks eyes with Bucky.

“I guess I was too obvious, Stevie. Look, I…I don’t know if I am that way. All I know is that I only got eyes for one person and that person is a fella.” Bucky’s face turning pink with the admission.

Steve stares, visibly confused, unsure exactly what Bucky is getting at. He dumbly asks “Who?”

Bucky gives an uncomfortable laugh, obviously apprehensive. “Are you that oblivious, pal? You…Stevie.” As the other man’s name slips from his mouth, he finds himself trying to look anywhere to avoid the gaze of the blue eyes staring into him.

All Steve manages to choke out is “Really?” His voice sound apprehensive and shy But to Bucky’s surprise, it also sounded hopeful. Yea, he already knew Steve was queer but that did not mean that he automatically like Bucky back. But maybe…he did?

It was this hopefulness that gave Bucky the courage to look back at Steve, his own light eyes staring into Steve’s. He can tell his friend was blushing hard, It was adorable, and pretty impressive for someone who was so pale moments ago. Without thinking about it, Bucky reaches his hand across the bed, and rests it on Steve’s shoulder, still safe in the platonic zone if they wanted to turn back. He whispers almost too quietly for Steve to hear. “Yea…really. You know how much I love you, Stevie, Always have. And for a long time, I thought that love was just because you were my best friend, you know? But overtime, I came to accept that the love I felt for you went way beyond that of a friend, even a close friend.” He looks down before looking back up, sporting a small mischievous grin. “Plus, I think you are really fucking hot.”

Steve somehow manages to blush eve harder, Though he was blushing, Steve was never one to back down from something he wanted. With the knowledge that his best friend was just as into him as he is to him, He scoops forward down the bed, so he very close to Bucky. Bucky’s hand had made its way off Steve’s shoulder, to now gently rest on his hip. He moves his head close to Bucky’s. The older man could feel Steve’s breathe on his face as he replies with a nervous smile “Good, because I’ve had eyes for you since were teenagers. I always got jealous when I seen you with a random skirt instead of me.”

Now Bucky was turning as pink as Steve, red hues covering his face and ears. He made Steve jealous?! He couldn’t believe it. Steve really wanted him. He takes his free hand and moves it to the back of Steve’s neck, wanting so bad to kiss him. He whispers “Can I kiss you?” It sounds so silly coming out of his mouth but he doesn’t want to push Steve.

Unfortunately, to his dismay, Steve says “No, Buck…”

Bucky looks down, suddenly feeling defeated. Had he read the signs wrong. Was Steve admitting he loved him too but did not want to pursue such a risky relationship. His head began to spin as he pulled away. “Oh, I/m sorry.”

Steve lets out a little laugh, grabbing his hand as he went to pull away. “I said no because I am still sick, jerk. Trust me I want to kiss you.” Bucky can’t help but laugh at himself too. Steve continues, “But I would like you to stay in bed with me tonight, if that is still okay."

“Of course, it is...anything for you.” He beams.

A few minutes later, they were laying down, Steve’s head on Bucky’s chest like earlier. Except it wasn’t just like earlier. The action was the same but the feelings were different. Earlier, there was tense atmosphere of secrets they were both hiding. But now it felt like it should have always been like this. Like they were complete more complete. Something that had always been there could thrive. Bucky lazily runs his fingers through Steve’s hair as they begin to drift back to sleep. “Buck?” Steve sleepily asks.

“Yea?”

“So you are my best fella now, right?”

Bucky chuckles to himself that Steve would even worry enough to ask. “Right, Stevie.” only getting a soft okay in response. Bucky lays there, waiting for Steve to fall asleep first. Thoughts run through his head, uncertainties about what to do tomorrow about those asshole, and how this is all going to work. But the one thing he doesn’t worry about is the fact that Steve is his and he is Steve’s

Other two chapters, poorly written smut in the second half of chapter 3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30749381/chapters/75892694#workskin

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

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Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

[angstywishes]

Whumptober Prompt 3 - Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But...

(i'm sorry i keep posting a bit late (┬┬﹏┬┬) i'm swamped with schoolwork right now unfortunately but i'm doing my best. hope you guys aren't sick of beau yet!)

(CWs: alcohol, bar fights, taunting (obviously), some things that come off kind of like victim-blaming)

Going out for drinks is meant to be fun.

Even if you don't have any friends to do it with, it's generally meant to be a decent way to spend a night. You get wasted, chat up strangers who sit next to you, watch garbage local sports teams on televisions too far away to gather much information from.

Of course, nothing ever really goes well for Beau. He knows this by now. Nothing new on that front.

So really, it doesn't come as any surprise at all when he winds up making a few bad choices that end with him getting thrown out the side door, a few scrapes and bruises added to his collection.

Blood slowly trickling down his forehead.

They really don't know how they keep getting in bar fights. Honestly. It's almost as if alcohol affects your emotional inhibitors, or something.

Regardless, it doesn't matter now that he's drunk, alone, and beaten up in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night. How fun.

Wobbly as he may be, he gets to his feet. He steadies himself on a dumpster, grimacing at the smell. Not like it was unfamiliar, just unpleasant. Like so many things.

He stumbles towards the exit of the alley, hoping that this time, he can make it to his apartment. They've had enough of passing out in public spaces, and they really need to be back home so they can pay their rent.

They've been home less and less these days, but that's not really their fault. They just keep getting.. Tied up in other things, for lack of better phrasing.

But it's dark out, now.

And his eyes aren't exactly working too well right now, what with the however many shots of whatever he'd been drinking in his system.

It stands to reason he doesn't make it very far.

In fact, he has to stop right by the entrance of the very bar he's been kicked out of for the umpteenth time. His legs won't carry him far, and he knows that, but there's no way in hell he's getting a ride.

Owes the cabbies too much, for one thing, and for another, hitchhiking while drunk isn't a smart move, even for him.

He'll just have to take it slow. No worries. He'll be okay, he can just sit for a while. So long as nothing else happens tonight.

"Is that Beau fucking Triste?"

As usual, the city is not so kind. Before them is.. An old friend, or maybe an ex, all they can recall is that this is someone who assuredly hates them. Adrian, maybe, or Adam? They have trouble keeping track.

"..A.. Adam?" They venture, and are met with a dry chuckle.

"You sound like you're not even sure. What happened, pal, have one too many and get cut off?" He sounds spiteful. Beau doesn't blame him. "No, no, that's not your style. Let me guess, you smashed a bottle over someone's head, and then got your ass handed to you. Again."

That's closer to the truth.

But Beau doesn't respond.

Adam leans closer, narrowing his eyes at them, before cracking a cruel grin.

"Betcha' wish you had a ride to your shithole house, huh? Or are you even still living in the same place?" He spits out, smile falling into a sneer. "That's so like you, you know. Moving place to place so every person you fuck over can't keep track of you."

Internally, Beau winces. It's not even like Adam is wrong. That's the worst part. He borrows money he can't give back, steals things, lies, betrays.

He can't seem to go a day without making an enemy of someone, and for the life of him he can't seem to stop doing it.

"I almost feel sorry for you sometimes," Adam keeps talking, keeps driving that knife of guilt deeper. "It's really kind of sad. You've got no one to blame for the shitty things you do but yourself."

And he's right and it hurts and he doesn't need the truth right now—

He misses when there was that one person, just the one, who used to tell him such beautiful lies, let him forget that he's so worthless for just a minute.

Of course, he's unable to avoid it now.

And then, there's a hand brushing his hair back, pressing into the cut on his forehead left by shards of green glass.

It stings, it hurts worse than the actual act that caused it, the pressure on the wound.

But it doesn't hurt as much as the words.

"I bet you don't even remember who did this to you, huh, you fucking degenerate?"

Biting their lip, Beau shakes their head.

"I'll tell you who's to blame, asshole." Adam shoves them down, slamming the back of their head into the brick wall. "You."

Beau ignores the feeling of liquid soaking his hair, and watches as Adam dusts his hands off and walks away, mumbling something Beau can't quite make out.

It looks like he'll be passing out away from home again. But really, it's what he deserves, don't you think?

[maybebanks]

You Know I’m a Minor Chapter 10

SERIES FINALE

ch01- ch02 - ch03- ch04- ch05- ch06- ch07 - ch08 - ch09 -ch10

Your attempts to get away from JJ were unsuccessful when your foot made an unbalanced step at the edge of the doc and you stumbled off the edge.

“Y/n!” JJ shouted. You felt his hands grip your waist in an attempt to pull you back, but your center of gravity was too far gone, and instead the both of you splashed into the water.

You gasped for air and JJ immediately sprung up beside you.

At first he wanted to laugh, but he didn’t.

You were snapped back to reality, and you saw JJ. His wet hair was almost in his eyes, but he just looked concerned.

You frowned and watched him as he swam to the latter and climbed out of the water.

You followed him and accepted his hand to help you up.

“You know I’m JJ now, right?” JJ asked.

In times of trauma, your mind could play tricks on you. You truly had seen Rafe. You felt him touching you in places you didn’t want him to.

“I..um..fuck,” you muttered, “I just saw...when you were...” you struggled to form an explanation, would JJ hate you now.

“What happened at midsummers? Becuase I know you were alone with Rafe, and now I know..that he did something,” JJ said. He didn’t want to admit it, but the thought of any guy messing with you, especially Rafe Cameron, made his blood boil.

“We weren’t alone,” you correct.

JJ furrows his eyebrows.

“His boys. They just watched,” you admitted, forcing yourself not to shiver in disgust.

“He fucking hit you? That mother fucker,” JJ assumed angerly. He started walking away, and you assumed it was to come at Rafe with revenge.

“No,” you said meekly, he was walking away, but he heard it.

“He didn’t hit me. He..uh..” your voice was shaking you knew once JJ knew he would never look at you the same.

“What, Y/n,” JJ demanded.

JJ read your expression, you were afraid, and that’s when JJ knew. Rafe plaid dirty. Rafe knew the best way to get at his girl was by taking her first.

“Y/n, did he,” he paused, “did he touch you? Like for sex-“

JJ stopped taking when you wrapped your shaking arms around his torso. His hands lay at your waist.

“I just- I keep reliving it. I’ve been through worse...like with my dad, but this? If my dad hadn’t come-“

“You don’t have to explain, Y/n. I’ll only kill Rafe if you want me to,”

—

You wanted to let go. Let go of everything. So when JJ pitched his idea, it was music to your ears.

“We should just dip, I mean really. Like Yucatán,” JJ suggested.

“Are you kidding?” John B asked.

“Nah man, I gotta get out of this place,” JJ said. You looked up at him from leaning on his shoulder. You were sitting with him against a tree, you could feel the soft fabric of his worn shirt on your cheek.

Your fingers danced along his wrist as you contemplated this idea, then you placed your hand in his and held his hand.

“I’m in,” you responded.

John B scoffed, “great guys. With what money?”

“We could surf all day, and live off of lobsters we catch with our bare hands,” JJ responded.

You felt a drop of rain, land on your leg. Another followed shortly after. JJ smudged it off your cheek and you smiled softly.

“I have to cover the Pogue,” John B says, heading to the boat and adding a cover so the rain doesn’t damage it.

JJ helped you up and you stood closer than expected.

“I should go home now,” you say.

Before you could turn around, JJ’s hand carressed your face and he leaned in. You could feel his breath fanning over your face.

It all happened so fast.

You wrapped your arms around JJ’s neck and your lips pressed together. Your eyes were closed and you missed looking into his ocean eyes. Your lips moved in just the right way. His soft and gentle kiss causing your blush to deepen.

When you pulled away, he smirked, “Just how you imagined it?”

You scoffed and laughed quietly, “not even close,” you replied, and then moved towards him for another kiss.

Moments later, John B announced that he was heading off to pick up some supplies for the boat.

You and JJ shared a look at the news and laughed as he lead you inside.

You both headed into a bedroom and jumped on the bed.

You and JJ continued to kiss. He pulled away to remove his shirt.

Then, the fact hit you, like a ton of bricks.

You looked down at the floor. Was he..? No. You can’t do this. JJ has slept with so many tourons and lost contact quickly after. You couldn’t loose him. You couldn’t let your father be right.

“Hey, what’s-what’s wrong?” JJ asks.

“Um..I just don’t know if...if I want to do this,” you admit.

“Y/n, if this is about-“ JJ began, he lifted up the hem of your shirt and saw the bruises again. They were healing, but still there.

“No, it’s just..my dad said that all you wanted was sex. And-“

JJ reacted quickly, “whoa. Hold up. That is not fucking true. And the fact that you believe that y/n?” JJ sounded offended.

Your heart rate picks up, “you-you hook up with girls, and then...” you couldn’t bring yourself to finish that sentence. Your throat was dry and you were struggling to breath.

“Y/n, you are definitely not just a hook up to me,” JJ paused and took a few deep breaths. You could tell his mind was struggling, “I...I love you,”

Your eyebrows furrowed, that wasn’t a phrase you’ve been called in a long time.

“When’s the last time you said that?” You said softly, a smile forming on your face.

“A long time,” he chuckled.

You got up and straddled him and he laid back. You leaned down so your head was on his chest.

You just stayed there for a moment, your ears hearing every beat of his heart.

“I love you too, JJ,”

—

“It’s too hot,” you groaned, flipping your leg out from under the covers.

“It’s not that bad,” JJ replied, wiping his forehead.

You studied him. And then, reluctantly, turned the other way and pulled off your shirt.

You weren’t wearing a bra, to JJ’s surprise. So he was blessed with the view, of your bare back.

You shuffled over and turned onto your stomach. Then looked up at JJ.

He smirks, “you’re gorgeous,” he smiled.

You smiled, and shushed him. Finally, sleep took over.

-

It was finally morning. JJ was a light sleeper, so the rooster woke him up around 6:00am.

His arm was draped across your stomach as he spooned your.

The thin sheet covered your bare chest. JJ felt comfortable against your bare skin. It was a level of intimacy he had been craving.

Suddenly, you stirred beside him. When you felt his hand on your bare skin, you panicked and jumped up.

You strapped your forearm across your chest to cover your boobs.

“Good morning,” JJ said.

“Oh, JJ. I’m not used to waking up with people. You scared me,”

“Sorry bub. What do you want to do today? I think we should take the pogue out alone. I want to show you this spot in the marsh. I think you’ll love it,”

You smiled, looking around for your shirt, “actually, JJ, I have to get some stuff done at home. But we should hang out Wednesday?”

“I can’t wait two days to see you! What’s so important at home?” JJ groaned.

“Just..certain errands. I’m sorry JJ. I promise to hang later?” You offered.

“You’re staying here for breakfast though,” JJ added.

He found your shirt and he helped you pull it over your head, still keeping your chest covered.

You noticed his hair was a complete mess, his blonde strands pointing in all different directions.

“Bed head,” you smirked as you shuffled his hair around.

He laughed, “I’m gonna get you back for that,”

“You gonna have to wait until Wednesday. I gotta head home,” you said, kissing him on the cheek, and getting out of bed.

JJ followed you to the door, but before you could open it wide enough to walk through, he slammed it shut.

“Wha-“

“No way in hell,” JJ said.

“Excuse me? We’ve been over this, JJ. They’re is nothing-“

“Your bruises are just starting to heal! I’m not going to let him make more,” JJ explained.

“What happened to ‘you’re not what he did to you’? Was that just bullshit!”

“It’s not about the bruises. It’s about you letting him hurt you,” JJ replies.

“He’s my dad! My fucking dad! The one person that’s suppose to love me no matter what. I know he does. I just make him mad sometimes. I’m gonna be better,”

“ No. No no no. This?” JJ paused and featured towards your injuries, “this is not your fault. You don’t understand, I’m trying to keep you safe,”

You rolled your eyes, but truly, you were fighting back tears, “so you’re saying that my dads just a shitty person? That I don’t deserve it?” your voice cracked.

“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’ve learned that the hard way,”

“But...but he told me all the bad things. He told me I deserved it,”

“What did he say? That you’re a failure, a worthless piece of shit? What have you done with your life but smoke weed and live on the south side?” He was referring to himself, telling you what he’s been through.

“No one will ever love me.” you replied, “he’s the best I got,”

“Can’t you see me Y/n? I’m right here,” JJ answered.

“But it’s temporary! What if you give up?” You whimper.

“I’m not gonna give up on you Y/n. Not ever,” JJ assured.

After a few seconds of silence, you opened the door.

“I have to go home JJ,” you said quietly.

Did what JJ said mean nothing to you? JJ thought.

“I’m not letting you,” he said stubbornly.

“It’s not your choice,”

-

-

-

-intermission babes. go get some water, or a snack or smth 🦋

-

-

“I need you to help me out. And honestly, I don’t know anyone else better,” JJ began.

“I’m listening,”

“So. I know I can’t just throw accusations around like this. But right now. If one of your deputies come with me. I’ll have proof,”

“What exactly is the crime?” Peterkin asks.

“Domestic violence.”

-

JJ, Peterkin, and some random deputy, were at your house. A stakeout, if you will.

No one has said anything, and truly, JJ didn’t know if he could handle seeing you hurt. When he saw your dad choking you at midsummers, he nearly lost it, and earned a black eye from your father.

A few minutes later, you arrived. You had stopped at the Wreak to pick up your paycheck after waking up with JJ.

You entered through the front door, and slammed it a little too hard.

“Look who...decided to show up,” your father slurred, his voice raspy from just waking up.

“Hi dad,” you greeted, there was evident fear in your voice, or at least that’s what JJ heard.

“Why don’t you come over here? I can’t see you,” he asked.

You stepped closer to him, hesitantly.

“Where were you last night?” He asked. Your father was quite controlling, that was the difference between you and JJ.

“Working, again,” you replied, attempting to dodge him.

He laughed satanicaly, “see that’s funny. Because I went to the Wreck, and they said, you don’t work on sundays, ain’t that funny?” he said sarcastically. 

“Well, I-“

“You’re playing hookie. And you know what happeneds to naughty girls,”

“Dad, please,” you tried. But when he backed you against the wall. You flinched as he threw a punch at your ribs.

“Just,” he paused to punch again, “obedience, dear,” he continued to hit you, adding kicks too.

From outside, near the window, JJ and Peterkin had a clear view of everything, JJs eyes darkened in anger.

He couldn’t do anything to help, he stared at Peterkin and the deputy to see if they had a plan.

“Are you gonna do something?” JJ asked angerly.

“Be patient,” The deputy said.

JJ grabbed the deputy by the collar and forced him against the house, “he’s fucking beating her!”

“Stay calm, boy,” Peterkin ordered, “the longer he admits to doing it, or we have proof, the higher the charge,”

JJ put his head in his hands. He couldn’t let you suffer any longer.

So, he lead Peterkin to the front door and the deputy protected the back.

Peterkin told JJ to wait in the SUV so he wouldn’t get the blame, but JJ wanted to be here, helping as much as possible.

Peterkin brought her fist up to nock. She nocked twice and the noise inside haulted.

JJ stepped back when the door swung open.

He felt some fear of his own, but he pushed it down for your sake.

Your father presented a tough exterior, even though he seemed to notice a negative fate when a cop was on the other end of the door.

“Officer. What can I do for you?” He asked.

Peterkin took in a deep breath.

“May I have a look inside sir?” Perkin asked.

Your father nodded, allowing Peterkin to step inside. JJ waited until they were further inside to join.

When they entered, you were nowhere to be found.

There was some blood on the ground, and some broken glass. But no sign of you.

///

“Who are you?” You asked the man in uniform outside your door. You had decided to head out the back.

“I’m deputy Thomas,” he introduced.

“Oh. Well nice to meet you. But I have to get doing,” you muttered before trying to get around him and run in the other direction.

“Actually miss, I can’t let you leave. You are going to have to stay here,”

“Make me,” you stated and attempted to run past him.

It was a good attempt, until he caught your shoulders and grabbed you securely. He pulled you closer to him and hand cuffed your hands together.

“Hey! I didn’t do anything you prick!” You shouted, squirming and struggling against him.

Not gonna lie, it was painful after the shots you had taken.

\\\

JJ stood humbly back, away from the gaze of your father.

“Sorry about..the mess,” your father began, “my daughter and I had a little argument earlier. No harm done, I just don’t believe in her fuckin’ every boy in town. Poor thing has gotten hooked on some bad drugs, I can’t seem to control her. It’s hard to admit, as a father,” Your dad said.

It was a lie. A complete lie.

JJ hoped Peterkin would see that.

“And do you know exactly who is supplying her?” Peterkin asked.

“Some kid livin on the Cut,” your father shrugged.

JJ hated the familiarity of the house, there were beer bottles in every corner, and dishes piled up in the sink.

Suddenly, Peterkin picked up a dispatch on her walkee.

Static, “Peterkin. I’ve got the girl out her. Cuffed her because she’s trying to get away. She’s got major injuries, call it in. Over,” deputy Thomas says.

“Let me go!” You screamed, you scratched against his arms and punched his chest. But he was unfazed.

Peterkin muttered the law and rights as she pronounced your father under arrest. She cuffed him, and lead him to the car. Locking him in.

Then she retreated to the back of the house. They needed you to come into the station, take photos of your injuries, for evidence.

You knew how it would go. And you didn’t want any part of it.

You continued to struggle and squirm, insulting the officer in every which way.

But when Peterkin and JJ turned the corner. He let go, and run ran into JJ’s arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Y/n. I set this up. You’re free now,”

“You idiot! There are legal things I have to do now. I’m going to go into foster care, I have to get stripped naked and photographed for evidence! Do you have any idea what you did JJ?” You cried.

JJ hung his head low, “he can’t hurt you anymore Y/n. It’s okay. Calm down. Just let me hold you,”

“JJ...oh my god. I can’t do this...” your tears streamed onto JJ’s shirt.

“I’ll go easy on ya darling,” Peterkin says, “less questioning, and I’ll deal with your foster care situation. See if I can loop you in with John B,”

“Your boy did the right thing,” she said as she unlocked your hand cuffs.

You stared at JJ, he looked like he was about to cry.

“My boy,” you said softly. He kissed you on the forehead and you hugged him close.

“You can’t just make foster care disappear Cheif. You know she’s a minor, right?” Deputy Thomas asked.

Peterkin just shushed him, and told him to drive your father to the station.

Peterkin was the cheif of Damn police. She’d get them off your back.

Love this cute lil tag list all of y’all are amazing and supportive: 💞

Taglist: @p0gue420 @kristinaxilliano @belledutchess @maebanks @omgpankow @kaylinfayezink @dolanfivsosxox @thesurfingsnail @obsessedweirdo @dudebroskiprn @milked-down-coffee @jjsthumbring @rafescameron @traumaflavouredjuulpod @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @popcrone818 @stellastars22 @runway-to-my-aid @jeyramarie @no-shxt-sherl @queenofthebees003

thanks for going on this journey through this story! hope u had funn { here’s more: MY JJ MASTERLIST }

series masterlist: You Know I’m a Minor

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10 FINALE

Dear anyone who reads this, I hope you find yourself a JJ Maybank (if you’re in love w him)! I hope you have an amazing day. Even though there are less than amazing things happening. I truly thank you all🤍

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers and motherly figures out there! This story is kind of inspired by my relationship with my older sister, who was honestly more of a mother to me than our actual mom. She’s awesome and I wish I could see her today but quarantine sucks lol. 

Also, too me Logan Lerman is Tim. He’s just so awkward and cute and nerdy, and I think he’d be a great Tim. 

Mother’s Day pt.1           

 “What the hell are you doing, Drake?” Damian’s snippy voice cut through the empty living room like a knife.

           The once comfortably silent room, now held an awkward and thick tension as Tim Drake popped his head up from his work, annoyed at being interrupted.  He looked back down at the paper and other supplies cluttered around the coffee table for a moment, not even embarrassed at being caught. It was a normal thing that he started doing shortly after moving into Wayne Manor all those years ago; Damian was still the one who was the odd one out.

           “Making Mother’s Day cards; what else does it look like?” Tim rolled his eyes, motioning his hand with a slight wave to the finished card at the edge of the table. That one was meant for his mother, he made sure to finish it first, wanting to drop it off at the post office tomorrow after school so it’d get to her in time.

           “Tt.” Damian shook his head, crossing his arms against his chest. He took a seat at the other end of the couch to look over the older boy’s work.

           Damian Wayne wasn’t the type for such sentiment. He scoffed at the idea of Mother’s Day. Could you just imagine him, an al Ghul, giving his mother a card? Though, he didn’t put it past someone as pathetic as Drake to be one to celebrate the commercial holiday. Even Grayson and his father celebrated, and their mothers were dead. They’d both journey to the cemetery and placed roses on their mother’s grave. But that made much more sense to Damian, than making a card, they were paying their respects, while Drake was just giving his mother a worthless piece of paper.

           “A simple piece of paper will really satisfy your mother? Tt.” Damian leaned back into the couch, arms still crossed but now lifting his leg to rest on his other thigh.

           “Yes. It. Will.” Tim gritted, not in the mood for Damian’s taunting and insults; he was actually in a genially good mood for once.

            He moved to open his mouth again, clenching the marker in his hand tightly; who did this kid think he was? He was glad the kid was over his phase of trying to actively kill him but he still found pleasure in making Tim’s life miserable. He tried closing his mouth, not wanting to get into it again but the third Robin still felt the need to defend himself against the spoiled blood son. He pushed the disappointed look Bruce would surely show him away after the old man would end of having to break up another fight between the two boys.

           “I’m not just giving her card; I’m also sending her a gift card to her favorite restaurant and another one for a trip to this day spa. It makes her happy and since I’m not around I want to make sure she knows I miss her. You know like normal mother and son stuff, not that you would know anything about that.”  

           Tim cursed to himself as soon as the bitter and smug words left his mouth. Shit.  He went too far; the dead silence that followed told him that much. He didn’t dare look up to see Damian’s face. He could practically feel the scowl, the deadly glare, beaming into the side of his head; it was like he was being blasted by Superman’s laser beams. Maybe that was being a little dramatic but Tim knew he shouldn’t have said that. He was better than stooping that low and saying something that brash. Even with the pair being fair from close, barely even being on speaking terms, Tim still knew how sensitive Damian was about his relationship with Talia.

           He was half expecting to feel a punch come down from him, or a shove, anything that would physically harm him in response but much to Tim’s surprise he was just met with Damian’s signature sound, ‘Tt’, and then him shifting in his place. Tim scratched the back of his neck, unsure why Damian reacted so calmly, not that his body and pride weren’t complaining. He mentally shrugged and went back to making his second card.

           The younger boy watched as Tim got back to work. He wanted to lash out at Drake’s dig at him and his mother’s relationship but Damian didn’t want to give Drake the satisfaction of knowing that he was insulted. He thought back to his father’s speech after their last fight about how they both needed to learn how to be the bigger person. Damian rolled his eyes at the memory and instead quirked an eyebrow up as he watched Tim begin to get back into making what appeared to be a second Mother’s Day card.

           “Correct me if I’m wrong but last time I checked you only had one mother, Drake.” Damian said, nodding towards the second card.

           “You would be correct.” Tim nodded, not looking up this time as he spoke. He reached for the blue Sharpie instead, filling in the bubble letters he wrote with it.

           “Then why are you making another card? Did you realize how stupid that other one is and are starting over?” Damian pressed, leaning back once again to get comfortable.

           Tim huffed, already over this conversation. It was times like this that he wished Dick and Halley still lived at home. Damian would be Dick’s shadow if he was here and not bugging him like this. With Halley, she’d swoop in the moment she felt a fight forming and would’ve gotten the demon spawn to shut up by now. But now that they were the only two left living at home Damian was all Tim’s problem. Maybe it was time to go back to the Titans?

           “No, my mother’s card is done. This is for someone else.” Tim said, using his minimum art skills to draw a decent flower next to the y in Day. He huffed again when Damian responded immediately asking who specifically it was for. Tim let the marker drop from his grasp, losing his nerve. Rubbing his head, he pushed the hair fallen in front of his face out of his face, letting out a deep breath. Why did he care what he was doing? Damian has shown more interest in his current activity than he’s shown in anything in Tim’s life since they met.  “It’s for Halley.”

           “Tt.” Damian rolled his eyes, smirking. “Halley isn’t your mother, Drake.”

           “No, but since I’ve moved here, she’s always been there when I need her and she’s done so much for me so this is my way of thanking her and showing that I love her.” Tim let himself get cocky again, snipping right back at Damian. He put emphasis in his speech, knowing that not only was it true but it would rub Damian the wrong way. “I do this for her every year and every year she gets all mushy and loves it.”

           Damian narrowed his eyes at the older boy. Was Drake questioning his relationship with his older sister? They may only be half siblings but that was more blood than she shared with anyone in the bat family. When the pair first found out they shared the same mother, Damian had been less then enthused about no longer being an only child and furious at his mother for failing to mention her having a child with Deathstroke. Halley had been just as shocked and angry, but at her father for never telling her. She wasn’t surprised but still angry. Though unlike him, she quickly rushed to try and get closer to the boy. Even though Damian wanted no part of it, Damian was clearly her favorite brother; right?

           Drake said this was a yearly thing but why has he never noticed before? He did know that they would occasionally spend what they grossly called Mandatory Sibling Bonding Day together, where’d they’d go out just the two of them, much to the annoyance of Damian. He didn’t understand why she wasted her time with Drake; what could they possible do for fun together? Granted, she did do the same with Grayson whenever they were around at the same time. The pair of them also being close, Grayson having been the one to help get her out of her old life with her father, Slade Wilson.

           Damian thought about how his sister had a close personal relationships with all the Robin’s and Batgirl’s, even the failure that Damian deemed as Stephanie Brown; Halley was close to them all, all but him. Though that wasn’t completely true, they did have somewhat of a bond. They both had what she phased as shitty-ass parents, her father being Deathstroke himself while his was the Dark Knight, and they shared the same mother, Talia al Ghul. They’d never known about the other until Damian was brought to live with his father by their mother and Halley had long been taken in by Dick and Bruce.

           He still remembered their first meeting, they hadn’t yet known about sharing the same mother but yet she was still eager to accept him. He of course didn’t share her gusto, especially after Slade revealed that Talia was her mother after he attacked the League of Assassin’s and killed his grandfather. Damian wasn’t keen on having an actual sibling, especially one with the blood of Deathstroke. But they also shared the same al Ghul blood and was quite the efficient fighter. But they were both incredibly set in their ways and persistent, as she was dead set on getting the younger boy to open up while he was dead set to prove that he was the most worthy al Ghul.

           It infuriated him enough that she said she didn’t care about being an al Ghul, having  no memories of being with the League of Assassin’s, as Slade and Talia agreed that she would go off to live with her father for her training. Damian said she was unworthy of the blood they shared and she didn’t deserve it. Though even now, he wouldn’t admit it but sometimes he swore he could still feel the pain from the beating she gave him when he tried to kill her in her sleep his first few months staying in the manor whenever he looked her way.

           That was something he admired about his sister, again not like he would ever admit it, but her persistence was something he looked up to and even came to appreciate. Even after trying to kill her, being cruel, and treating her like how she treats Drake, at first even worse, she never gave up on him; a feat that no one else could say they’ve come close too; perhaps Grayson, but there were times where even the star-child of Bruce Wayne’s collection of wayward children would walk away from Damian’s outbursts because he simply had enough of the all give an no take. But not Halley; she’d stay every single time and with that she’d even give him a smile at the end of it.

           She understood what it was like. Being raised by Slade Wilson was basically the same as being raised by Ra’s al Ghul. They never had a conversation about it, Damian always calling her a fool, she didn’t know what his childhood was like and then brushing her off. But who was Damian kidding? She made her first kill by age eight, so did Damian. She had expectations placed on her that no child should’ve been held up to, as did Damian. They shared bruises, scars and nightmares.

           Grayson had tried with him, after his father failed but Halley was the one who truly helped him adjust to this new life he found himself in without even knowing it. What Grayson and his father didn’t understand was that you just couldn’t stop being who you were raised to be in a second, it took time, and Halley had been through the same transition. Granted she was looking to escape the life she had with her father whereas Damian was forced to be with his by his mother, but there were just some habits that where hard to break.

           “You good there?” Drake’s voice cut Damian out of his thought process.

           Damian snapped out of it, narrowing his eyes down at the card, noting Tim had stopped working on it and was looking at Damian as if he was a frozen computer screen. Scoffing, standing up to his feet, he uncrossed his arms, pointing a finger at the card for his sister. Trying to hid the fact that Drake caught him in such a deep thought, he cleared his throat before sneering,  

           “Her favorite color is purple, not red.”

           Tim watched, mouth left agape as Damian made his way out of the room without another word. He took another look down at the card and grunted, reaching for a new piece of paper, getting ready to start all over again. What a kid, he thought as he got back to work.

[qqueenofhades]

(1/2) Honestly, Hilary, you are a blessing. I want to scream about your amazing Fic, how I love Immortal Husbands and the whole Immortal Family and how I had more fun learning history from your writing than in my whole damn school. But I also want to appreciate your TOG answers and meta. All the more because my friends outside the internet saw TOG as some boring movie with shitty plot and I'm just here in the corner, wanting to scream at someone who will understand about FINALLY seeing...

"(2/2) ...some GOOD queer representation, without throwing stereotypes in our faces, and I can't even begin with the found family trope because THE FEELS. Anyway, what I was trying to say with this rambling: thank you. <3"

....I’m sorry what. Who. Who is saying this. Straight people? I feel like the answer is definitely straight people. Because they have had EIGHTY FUCKING THOUSAND shitty action movies with the Boring White Man Hero, the disposable Muslim-coded (or actually Muslim) villains, the equally disposable eye-candy female love interest who either gets fridged or is secretly evil, Grimdark Everyone Is Secretly Bad And Nothing Matters crap philosophy, Moral Hand Wringing Over Superhero Violence, on and on. So of course they can moan and whine about “iT’s nOt OrIGinAL” and apparently not sufficiently Grimdark and Amoral, and how the dynamics of the team are completely reshuffled in a way that actually doesn’t prioritize THEM, and like.... this is why I never trust media only beloved by straight people, and only ever watch anything after it’s been recommended to me by a trusted queer friend. Because sometimes I remember the difference, and WHOOF.

Because: the gays and people of color DESERVE formulaic action/superhero movies as much as the Generic White Bro (in fact, we can all agree, far more than the Generic White Bro). This is the trap where every piece of media that’s not made by a Mediocre White Man has to be the best all-time of its genre, apparently, rather than using some of the same well-loved storytelling tropes but recoding them and re-deploying them for a more diverse audience. Instead of the Hard Bitten White Man Action Hero, we have Andy and Nile (two women, and Nile as a young Black woman who literally cannot be shot to death, in the year 2020, is fucking revolutionary on its own don’t @ me). As I said in my first meta, even Booker, who comes closest to fulfilling that trope, is made the closest thing to a “villain” there is on the team and even then for entirely sympathetic motives that rest on him having teary-eyed conversations with Nile about how he misses his family and feels like he failed them. His emotions help drive the story in an actually GOOD and useful way, rather than sacrificing everyone else to coddle him through his feeble heterosexual manchildness (why yes, I AM staring directly at the Abomination without blinking). Nobody in the story is EVER penalized or made a fool of for loving their found family (itself an intensely queer trope, even before the queerness of the individual characters) or trying to do the right thing even in the middle of the horrors, and frankly, I just want to consume more media with that as the main message. I’M SO FREAKING TIRED OF GRIMDARK. GOD. IF I WANTED THAT I COULD JUST TURN ON THE NEWS.

And of course, my BELOVED Joe and Nicky: an interracial, interreligious gay couple that has been wildly in love for literal CENTURIES and gives me the opportunity to do things like write the most self-indulgent historical romance backstory fic ever with DVLA. They met in the embodiment of religious conflict and have transcended that, there are never any cruel jokes or expectation for you to congratulate the narrative for being so beneficent as to give you “an exclusively gay moment” (fuck you Disney!). Joe and Nicky’s love story is central both to who they are as characters, doesn’t revolve around them being suffering or being Tormented over being gay (when the cops pull them apart for kissing, they beat the cops the fuck up, WE STAN), gets to unfold naturally in the background of the story with these beautiful little beats of casual intimacy (the SPOONING /clutches heart) and since THEY LITERALLY CANNOT DIE, no chance of the “burying your gays” bullshit. Even when they’re captured first by the bad guys, and I briefly, upon first viewing, worried that they were going the Gay Pain route just for cheap emotional points, they remain constantly united and fighting together and able to do stupid things like flirt when they’re strapped to gurneys by a mad scientist. Then the rest of the team ends up right there with them, so it’s not something that happens to them alone, and Nile comes in to save everyone’s asses, and Joe and Nicky get ANOTHER beautiful moment of fighting the bad guys and being worried about each other and tender even in the middle of this chaos and GOD! MY HEART! MY WHOLE ASS HEART! I LOVE THEM!

And just the fact that it’s not the Evul Mooslim Turrorists or Boilerplate Scary Eastern Europeans or whoever else who are the bad guys, but Big Pharma, nasty white men with too much money and not enough ethics, the CIA (at least tangentially; they could have pushed a lot harder on that but I’ll give Copley individually a pass), and the very forces that want to stop the Old Guard and discount what they do (helping the little people) as worthless... GOD. That is fucking POWERFUL. They literally take the time to explain with Copley’s Conspiracy Wall that even the little things the team does, when they can’t see it themselves, spiral out through centuries and have positive effects down the line. And it’s NOT just in the Western world (no scene in the movie takes place in America, none of the main four characters/heroes are American, and they only go to England when the English villains capture them). They’re in Africa, in Asia, in South America, in all these places where the Western/imperial world order has harmed people the most and in a way that Euro/American audience often gets to forget. On the surface this might be an action movie with Charlize Theron beating up men (which I mean, that alone is fine if you ask me) but there are SO MANY WAYS in which it achieves these deeper moments of meaning and subversion of the narrative that we are so often fed and the ways it could have done this (i.e. the same old Mediocre White Man ways).

I love the fact that the team unabashedly LOVES each other as their family members (I will never get over them all liking to sleep in one room even in their safe house in France), even when they struggle, and that they continue trying to make it right and never consider leaving Booker behind, because he screwed up but they still love him (and he them). I LOVE LOVE LOVE that this movie gave me not just Joe and Nicky but Andy and Quynh: two completely badass queer couples who kick tons of ass and have romance and Drama and rich and well-realized lives outside being used as emotional manipulation or suffering porn for straight people. (I realise it’s only been two weeks since the first one released, but where is my sequel, I have Needs. Especially Andy/Quynh and Quynh/Joe/Nicky needs). I was disappointed that they’d gotten rid of Quynh in a Bad Medieval Way to cause pain for Andy and then shocked and DELIGHTED when she turned up alive in Booker’s apartment at the end of the film. I LOVE that this movie gave me Nile Freeman and everything that she represents in the middle of this hellish year. I even love Booker! BOOKER! When he’s usually the character type I can’t stand and have the least patience with!

So yes. I have watched it three times already. I am sure I am going to watch it several times more. It just makes me so happy.

[unabashegirl]

Enticing (25)

Author’s note: LOTS OF DRAMAAAA. Hope you like it!

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WORD COUNT: 2K

They lay in the pure intimacy of their bedroom after their lovemaking session. He has just asked her to travel with him to a country that she has always dreamt of visiting. She is a bit surprised by his sudden proposal. He has gone on business trips alone before. So, what has changed?

“I don’t even own a passport.” David groans as he raises to his feet. He faces Y/N from the end of the bed before bending down and reaching down for his phone. He begins tapping on his phone, clearly texting someone else.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll fix that for you” David has enough connections to be able to get her a passport before they arrive back in the city. He is still pretty surprised that Y/N hasn’t had the opportunity to see the world. That single fact instantly makes the trip more important to him. He is going to be able to show her the world.

“What about Henry? Is he coming with us? Who is going to take care of him?” She sits up in bed and begins readjusting her top and tying the bottoms that David had undone.

“He is staying in New York. He is still too young. I’ll get a babysitter” Y/N perks up at the mention of the babysitter.

“He already has me, David. It’s my job to take care of him. That’s what you are paying me for” Y/N gets off the bed in search of a mirror to fix her crazy hair.

“That’s something I need to talk to you about” David has given it a lot of thought. Ever since he first asked her to be his. He doesn’t want her to work for him anymore. It all feels wrong. “Although we’ll talk about that when we get home” He dismisses, not sure how that particular conversation is going to go. He feels they should be in the privacy and coziness of the penthouse before he drops the bomb on her. “Henry is not coming babe”.

“But…”

“I just said no” His voice is rougher like the one she hears him use towards his employees. “Period. Henry is staying and that’s final” She bites her own tongue, stopping her own fingers from continuing to go through her hair. She can see him through the bathroom mirror. He is frowning as he finishes tying his swimming trunks.

“Fine” She snaps back as she tries her best not to feel offended by his sharp and demanding tone. “When are we leaving?” She exhales as she turns to face him, leaning against the bathroom counter. David’s frown softens and his demeanor instantly changes. The dark cloud over his head seems to evaporate in seconds.

“A week from today” He hates using that tone on her, but his temper runs short when people defied him. He still feels shitty because he knows that she only meant well. “Come here” David reaches out. She cautiously walks up to him. His hands make their way around her waist before nudging the side of her head with his forehead. He puckers his lips asking for a kiss. She can’t stop a smile from spreading at his soft gesture. She gently gives him a chaste kiss. “Let’s go upstairs. My mom is probably waiting for us”.

The rest of Dobrik’s clan is waiting for them. The food has been served on the big table on the sun deck. All types of meat including lamb and a bunch of sides have been placed on the table. Y/N grips his hand tightly as they approach the table, she can’t help feeling like everyone knows what they were doing.

“There you are! I almost went looking for you” Mrs. Dobrik calls out, “Please sit and enjoy” David pulls Y/N’s seat out for her before sitting beside her. They quietly start serving themselves meanwhile Y/N tries to ignore Mr. Dobrik’s hard stare.

“Is there something you would like to share, father?” His stare certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by his oldest. Mr. Dobrik looks over at David with pursing lips.

“I don’t think it’s a dining table conversation son. It’s best if we leave it for later” David raises an eyebrow at him as he tries to figure out what he is referring to.

“Then I suggest you stop starring at my girlfriend and making her uncomfortable” Y/N’s eyes widen as she turns to look at David, wanting to smack him for his bluntness. If she wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, she certainly is now. The entire table is completely quiet. It is a staring contest between the men of the family aside from Nathaniel, who seems too invested in his food to participate.

“Forgive me, Y/N. I didn’t mean to be rude” Mr. Dobrik tears his eyes away from his son’s that look so much like his mother’s. He is apologizing, but Y/N could see that he didn’t mean a single word.

“There is no need, Mr. Dobrik. It’s no big deal” Y/N fakes smile at him before staring down to her food. Mrs.Dobrik exhales loudly as she tries her best to thinking of something quickly to break the awkward tension.

“Snorkeling or tubbing next, Y/N?” It is Allison who finally interjects as she reaches out for the giant bowl of cold pasta salad.

“Tubbing? On what?” Y/N giggles; thankful to have Allison around.

“On a hot dog or burger. It’s your choice” David’s younger sister knew how uncomfortable her brother and father can make guests feel. Allison is reliving the same situation that she endured when she had brought Nate home. Her father had treated him like shit. It wasn't until Allison put her foot down and David almost threw himself on his father that he stopped his snarling and condescending comments towards Nate. Either way, he still treated him unkindly at times.

Allison knows that it’s worthless to stay mad at her father. He has always been this way. They have all tried to change him, but they haven’t had much success. Allison just doesn’t understand why her mother never says anything and allows their father to walk all over them.

“Hot dog sounds fun” Y/N smiles as she looks back down at her food. The altercation had honestly ruined her appetite.  David seems to have no problem eating. He looks unbothered by it, but in reality, he is fuming from inside. He is beyond pissed. He just can’t wait until everyone leaves and he can have a moment alone with his father. Mr. Dobrik was going to get a piece of his mind whether he likes it or not.

Allison and Nate are the first to excuse themselves after coffee and dessert. Mrs. Dobrik rises to her feet and looks over at Y/N who seems uncomfortable.

“Let’s go honey” She stretches out her hand for take. Just as Y/N pushes her seat away from the table, Mr. Dobrik’s hand smacks against the table. All the plates, silverware, and porcelain shake; startling the women.

“You leave,” Mr. Dobrik says as he looks at his wife. “This has nothing to do with you”.

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Dobrik asks back with her hands on her hips.

“I told you to leave. Don’t make me ask you again because it won’t be nice” He snaps at her, causing her for her demeanor to instantly changed. That tone is too familiar to her and hearing it only brings dark memories. Horrible memories enough to make her feel scared and bite down her tongue. 

“Do not talk to my mother like that” It’s David’s turn to snap at him. He can’t sit back and watch how his father verbally abuses his mother. He might not be hitting her, but he knows that his words have the same effect. His words sometimes hurt her more than his fists.

“She is my wife! I can talk to her however I please!” Mr. Dobrik responds. Not fone bit aced by his son's harsh tone.

“Honey, just listen to your father. I am fine” She feels like a fool for believing her husband's promise. He had promised her that he wouldn’t cause a conflict.

“Go with my mom, babe” David can change the tone of his voice for her as he sees his girlfriend’s concern expression. Y/N quickly stands up to comply with his demand. 

“NO! This is concerns her therefore she should be here” Mr. Dobrik exclaims making both women shake. Y/N stops moving as Mrs.Dobrik continues walking out and gives her a reassuring nod.

“I just told you to leave, Y/N” David’s protecting side arising. He doesn’t want her around just in case it gets uglier.

“It’s okay” Y/N knows that his father won’t back out and whatever he has to say she can take it. She isn’t going to hide behind David. She is a strong, independent woman that could take the ignorant opinions of an abusing man, especially with her boyfriend by her side —at least that what she thinks. David purses his lips and looks back at his father.

“It’s funny how your girlfriend has more balls than you, David” Mr.Dobrik sarcastically chuckles as he looks over at Y/N. “I am surprised, Ms. Y/L/N. I didn’t think you had it in you”.

“You don’t know many things about me, Mr. Dobrik. You would be astounded to know that I am not like other women” She snaps back as tries her best not to feel intimidated.

“That is certainly true. I was surprised to find out that you aren’t who you say you are, Ms. Y/LN. Did you know that, son?” He asks as he looks over at his oldest. “You have no idea who you are sleeping with”.  David chuckles but continues to listen to his preposterous statements. “Is Y/N even your real name?”. 

“It is Mr. Dobrik and I’ve been nothing, but honest with your son. Therefore, I would love to hear an apology coming from you” She kindly smiles at him. 

“She is a fucking nanny, David!” He snaps, Y/N calm demeanor is easily getting under his skin. “She doesn’t work for Alessandro. Is all bullshit. “She is probably some gold digger” He looks at her with disgust. 

That was enough for David.  

“Don’t you fucking dare to talk about her like that” Mr. Dobrik smirks pleased with the reaction has he has just gotten out of him. “I am well aware that she is a nanny, father” David chuckles as he crosses his fingers with one another, entertained by the show that his father has just put on.

“She doesn’t even come from a proper family. How do you think that the media will react when they find out that she is nothing, but your son's nanny?!” He spats. 

“I took her to the gala, father. They already know. We were seen by hundredths and a bunch of pictures where taken of us” David rolls his eyes before rising to his feet. “Instead of making a big altercation of this, you could have just asked me about it and I would’ve told you. I am not hiding her”. David takes Y/N hand, ready to leave. 

“Her father is dead, David.  God only knows who and where her mother is!” Mr.Dobrik says just before they can leave the room. The small comment is enough for Y/N to let David’s hand go and turn back.

“You have no right to talk about my father, Mr.Dobrik. Let alone about my mother or anything that concerns my family. You might have all the money that anyone could dream of, but not everything can be resolved with money. You are an abuser and at least my father never touched or thought about hurting any of us. Instead of continuing to mistreat your family maybe you could thank them for all the abuse that they’ve had to endure. You should also worship the ground that Mrs. Dobrik walks on because she deserves an award for keeping up with your horrific personality and cruel attitude”  His snarly comment about her father had been enough to set her up in flames. No one would ever mess up his memory especially when she was around. She loves her father and all she has left of him is the fun-loving memories of him and she isn’t going to allow anyone to change that.

TAGS: @getmepizzza​, @yourwonderbelle​, @nohalohoseok​, @lavendercuddles​, @2007rh​, @jeezkiddo​, @beeechhh​, @duh-dobrik​, @kllycole​, @meanlopz817​, @snazzydobrik​, @frickin-bats​, @wonderlandlovelove​, @millie-753​, @cubanidiot​, @itsdaviddobrik​, @justlikehufflepuff​, @clarissahunter​, @saltysebastianstan​, @galaxy-moon​, @alyssajunell​, @crowdedimagines​, @pineappledobrik​, @roxyedobrik​, @owenniasstars​, @didyouheartherain​, @marvelgirl2118​, @daviddobrikssflamethrower​, @kennedyf16​, @meleniearaujo9​

[justanotherlifeff]

Hi I saw you were doing bnha x readers, I was wondering if you could do a bakugo x reader where they go one their first date or one where bakusquad tried to set them up cause they both like eachother please fluff and IDC of it's smut or not

Phase 2

"Bakubro, you're already 25. Don't you think you should go for a serious relationship by now?" Kirishima asked the explosive hero infront of him, who only glared at the hardening hero. "You don't get to tell me what to do shitty hair! My goal is to be the number 1 hero. Not play house." Bakugou barked at Kirishima, making Kirishima sigh. The two of them were good friends since their UA days and while Bakugou was more matured than he was back then, that explosive attitude surely didn't change at all. "What about after being the number 1 hero? Do you even have any plans for then? Bro, right now, fighting and having random hookups may sound nice but in the long term, when you’ll have to retire at some point, you're gonna regret wasting away your life just for one goal." Kirishima tried to reason. "Shut your trap, shitty hair. I don't do love or any sappy bullshit like that." Bakugou grumbled, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. "Unless it's (Y/N)... Too bad that she friendzoned me to oblivion..." Bakugou thought internally. At the moment, Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari were in a bar after a long day of hero work to catch up. Bakugou still hung out with the infamous Bakusquad every once in a while, though he usually hung out mostly with Kirishima or you. "Bakubro? Are you scared of the responsibility that comes with relationships? Didn't take you to be the one to be scared of something like that... Even I had the courage to get Kyoka with me." Kaminari teased Bakugou on que. "HAH? I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING DUNCE FACE! FUCKING THROW A RELATIONSHIP AT ME AND SEE HOW I HANDLE THAT SHIT!" Bakugou barked at Kaminari. To that, Kirishima and Kaminari fistbumped behind their backs as their plan was going perfectly.

In a completely different bar, you were sitting with Mina and Sero, sipping the (Drink/N) in your hand. "So, (Y/N)! When are you gonna bag a hot guy into your clutches? My married ass can't see you single for any longer and I am itching to play cupid at this point." Mina elbowed you with a smile. "Sero's single too. Why don't you bother him?" you scoffed in answer, gulping your drink. "Hot guy my ass... The hot guy I like is an egoistical bastard..." you thought internally. "Actually, I'm not single? I kinda started dating a colleague last month..." Sero countered your statement bashfully. "Seeee? You're the only one between us who's single. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!" Mina slammed on the table to make a point. "Zeez... Calm your tits Mina... I'm single cause not everyone is manly enough to actually marry the girl he dates. You're one lucky bastard Mina, bagging Kiri like that... The guys I have a thing for usually ends up being fuckboys who only want a one time thing and I'm not into that shit. So it's best to stay single and not get hurt." you sighed. "Alright, (Y/N), if we can get you a guy who isn’t a fuckboy, would you finally go on a date?" Mina asked, looking all mischievous. "Why do I feel like you're plotting something?" you sighed, looking at Mina, tired of her antics.

You became a part of the infamous Bakusquad back in your first year at UA. You were in class 1A and Mina pretty much adopted your antisocial ass into the group. It wasn’t that you were introverted because you talked enough. It was just the fact that you were way too straight forward, to the extent that you sounded kinda rude. However, you tried to be a nice person in general. While it may come as a surprise, the only other person you were close to most in the group except Mina was Bakugou. That was probably because Bakugou respected your brutal honesty and the fact that you could shove reality on people's face without a second thought. Not to mention that Bakugou was quite fascinated by your quirk too. You were interested in Bakugou for the exact same reasons though you found him to be unnecessarily rude sometimes. With time, the two of you started having a thing for eachother, which was pretty much common knowledge within the class when you all reached your third year at UA. However, that's when everything went wrong. Bakugou had finally manned up enough to ask you out at the end of your third year and you made the mistake of hugging and calling him "the best FRIEND you can ever have" after he took you on a date. In your defence, he never mentioned that it was a date and you figured that the two of you were hanging out as friends. Hell, you didn't even know that he had a thing for you as both Bakugou and you were completely oblivious when it came to feelings. Unfortunately, Bakugou felt as if you completely and utterly friendzoned him at that moment, and stopped trying to win your affections and instead, went for random hookups while you were deeply saddened by your crush's sudden change and you pretty much stopped having a love life.

Did that stop the two of you from all the passive agressive flirting you threw at eachother? No, it did not. Infact, to both of your surprise, you two ended up hanging out quite a lot. Ofcourse, they always ended with a weird giddy feeling in both of your stomachs and blazing anger in your minds as the two of you pissed eachother off quite a lot. To be fair, Bakusquad was tired of you two pining on eachother for 9 whole years. They had no idea about Bakugou trying to ask you out at some point as Bakugou would never reveal a failed attempt at sonething. To Bakusquad, enough was enough. After all, who the fuck pines on eachother for 9 fucking years and not make a move? Ever since Kirishima and Mina got married to eachother, they had enough of your and Bakugou's shit. Like every other happily married couple, they decided with the squad that this time, they would finally set the two of you up together. Hence, it all led to them planning the entire thing out and you were now sitting at a reserved table at a fancy restaurant after taking a day off from hero work so that you could meet your mystery date. Did you know why you even agreed to this? Blame Mina for bribing you with the entire series of a very rare first edition of a manga signed by the author himself that you have been saving up for. You honestly expected it to be a rather boring date as you had no interest in being with a random dude and you were only here for the manga and the food. However, you did not expect that random dude to be Bakugou.

Did Bakugou expect to see you instead of some random woman sitting there on the table that Kirishima forced him to reserve for the so called date? No, he totally didn't. You looked as surprised as he did when he entered the restaurant and found you sitting there. This was one of the extremely expensive restaurants in Tokyo and Bakugou always chose the best even if it was some stupid worthless date because it was either classy with Bakugou or nothing. Upon realising the fact that none of you expected something like this, Bakugou felt the bad memories of him trying to date you years back plague him, drowning his self confidence to some extent which in return pissed him off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Bakugou asked you with a scowl as he approached you. "Guess our idiot friends were trying to get us together." You sighed, motioning him to sit on the chair infront of you. "Fucking shitty hair..." Bakugou grumbled, not looking at you. "Mina lost her damn mind... Here I was looking for a loyal dude and she sent the Ground Zero who's specifically known to be a womanizer." you teased Bakugou, trying to ease up the gloomy mood. "Ya know, you could leave if this isn't your thing." Bakugou looked at you and stated with a scowl. "Meh, Mina bribed me enough to stay. Plus we didn't hang out in a while so it's a win win for me. I honestly thought I'll have to make a conversation with some random weirdo." you answered carefreely. "Did she bribe you with that rare first edition manga that you were obsessing over?" Bakugou asked, raising an eyebrow. "Guilty as charged" you answered, winking at him. Only if you knew that your action made him literally have butterflies in his stomach (something he would never admit).

Kirishima, Mina and Kaminari were hiding outside the restaurants, looking over at you and Bakugou by the window of the cafe. "Bakugou looks too constipated... Ya think we need to get to phase 2?" Kaminari asked. "Uh... I still don't think that's a good idea..." Kirishima tried to reason with the two weirdos beside him but Mina was already calling the cafe to prepare for the said 'phase 2' of the plan.

Bakugou was already uncomfortable about the entire thing from the begining but now that a random dude came at them with a violin and started playing some sappy romantic music, Bakugou was this close to losing his temper. It didn't take long for you to notice Bakugou's dilemma. "You wanna get out of here? Our friends clearly crossed the limit..." you asked him. Without any hesitation, he said, "Fuck... Fine, let's go." before he stood up and left the restaurant with you following him, leaving the violin man and the waiters confused as to why you left without your order even after you already paid for it. "Wow, that was intense." you laughed as Bakugou sulked about how shitty their friends are. "Well, how did they convince you to get here? Didn’t you tell enough interviewers that you 'don't do love'?" you asked Bakugou, teasing him though you were kinda curious. "Shitty hair asked me about what I'd do after I retire and said that I'll regret not giving love a chance so I decided to give it a shot." Bakugou grumbled without looking at you. Ofcourse he wasn’t gonna tell you that they got him into their trap simply by challenging him cause you'd tease him to death over it. "Oooo someone's growing up. Good for you." you answered him with a smile before continuing, "I guess I listened to Mina about this shit cause, well, I used to like this guy but it wasn’t mutual and I guess I wanted to forget about him for a while. I mean, I pretty much never had a love life so...". "Dude must be dumb. You're cool." Bakugou answered, not looking at you as the two of you entered a park that was nearby. "Nah, he's amazing. It's just, love isn't really his thing and I can't exactly change his views." you muttered sadly. "Well, he's still a dumbass." Bakugou huffed in answer. "Okay? I guess he really is a dumbass. I mean, I'm quite sure he came into this date cause Kaminari or Kirishima challenged him to and he actually thought I wouldn’t figure it out." you scoffed, looking away from Bakugou.

Bakugou's face was priceless. At first, he was pissed that you called him a dumbass but then it hit him. "You... You like me?" he choked out, looking shocked. "Well, wasn’t it obvious by now? Our friends set us up together and there was a weird dude playing violin. It seemed that Mina understood that I have a thing for you and did all that. Mina or Kirishima wouldn’t want me to be hurt as they are my friends and if you didn't like me, he wouldn’t set me up with you given that you have serious fuckboy tendencies. Well, it doesn’t really matter if I like you anyway cause you're not into long term shit." you answered his question with a sigh. "Ya know (Y/N), I only got into this fuckboy phase cause you rejected me once." Bakugou muttered. "Huh? When did I reject you? What are you talking about?" you asked, visibly confused. "Don't you remember that day at the end of third year? I took you out on a date to see that sappy ass movie together and you hugged me and friendzoned me?" Bakugou accused you. "That was a date?" you asked him with an incredulous expression. "Hah? You didn't realise that was a damned date?" Bakugou barked at you. "OFCOURSE I DIDN'T! YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT IT WAS A DA..." Bakugou didn't let you complete that sentence as his lips were already on yours. After a kiss that took your breath away, he pulled away, leaving you completely flustered. "I'm not gonna date you if you're gonna fuck around." you stated, still out of breathe from the kiss. "Ofcourse I won't you dumbass! We are fucking official from now! Tf do you think I am?" Bakugou snapped at you? "Idk, you called yourself a dumbass a while back?" you teased him. "DIE!!!!" Bakugou barked at you to that.

"Well, I guess that worked?" Kirishima muttered as they were hiding in the park, watching Bakugou chase you with small explosions in his hands as you kept cackling with laughter, running from him. "Phase 2 never fails." Mina and Kaminari stated in unison with smug expressions as Kirishima looked back at them in disbelief.