#these stories aren't being told in ways that are compassionate and like... good

[sleepiestoken]

i've just pulled out some interesting quotes from the metal hammer article for myself and anyone else interested. anything bolded for emphasis by me.

-

George Lever [Sleep Token producer 2016-2021]: The starting point was removing this idea of the music you listen to being related to the person making it. By being anonymous, the listener is forced to relate to what they're actually hearing.

-

James Monteith [Tesseract guitarist/publicist at Hold Tight PR]: I was approached by Tom Quigley, who was a scene regular and ran a few blogs at the time. He said he was working with this new band, would we maybe be interested in doing their press? We ended up talking for an hour, and he rolled out the whole concept, the imagery and everything about it... other than the music.

George: The lore/narrative was pretty loose still, but it definitely existed.

James: There was nothing specific as such, more this idea of creating an occult vibe and feeling, led by this prophet-like character who leads a religion.

-

George: A lot of the first EP was actually us trying stuff out. We recorded the drums on a whim at Monnow Valley Studio in Wales. I introduced him to one of my friends, who actually still drums in them now.

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James: We always got requests [for interviews], but the band said from the start they were anonymous and wouldn't do them. It helped create more curiosity because nobody could get access to them.

Matt Benton [Metal Hammer writer]: You can't do an introductory piece without an interview. We managed to get an agreement for an email interview with Metal Hammer. Even then, the band knew they didn't want a voice.

Matt: It's one of only a few interviews they've ever done. It's something I'm glad exists, because it's like getting the Word Of God.

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George: I had freedom to offer interpretations of what I was hearing. It was a very fortunate combination of personalities and ideals. There was never any, 'We're going to take over the world' -type chat. It was more, 'Do we like this? Let's do more of that.'

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Nathan Barley Phillips [co-founder of Basick Records]: Trying to keep some sense of anonymity was a real mission. Particularly getting them to and from the stage [at Great Escape festival 2018] without anyone seeing who they were.

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George: We did Sundowning in three months - we went from demo to final master being released in just 12 weeks. We didn't have days off; we'd do seven in the morning until seven, eight or even nine at night every day for three months. We were in each other's pockets; we'd go to the gym together, swim, do the sauna... All this stuff to recover from being sat down all the time. There was a lot of time to spend holistically being friends making this record. We didn't know how to make this thing, but we had a confidence that we'd get there in the end. That's my favourite three-month period of my life.

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George: We started making [TPWBYT] and the first day was when lockdowns began. Tomb... was tough for all of us emotionally. There were lifestyle pressures as a result of the lockdown that made it not very conducive to making art that is supposed to be welcoming. A lot of those songs are, in one way or another, about love, love being lost or remorse, they are compassionate tales that are designed to bring the listener towards the artist. It's hard to do that when it feels like the world is going to end.

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Matt: I've got friends in merchandising and they say Sleep Token shift more merch than any other UK heavy band - more than even Iron Maiden.

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Nathan: Bands like Ghost and Sleep Token aren't successful because they wear masks. They're successful because they write great music. Masks don't mean anything if the music isn't any good.

Matt: I'll be interested to see, when the first official TV movie of the band gets made, the difference between the reality of what happened and the story that gets told. In a way, the myth becomes reality.

[flat-neines]

Ok. Polychromy got hands to spare. But I did say that I'd talk about nyx being a nightmare kid but not in a cool way.

(This has some references to abuse, racism, sa and systemic misogyny that happens in canon, this could be triggering to read for people. Rant is under the cut)

It's often discussed or speculated in anti spaces (and fellow mutuals) on how nyx possibly grows up to be everything rhysand hates, rebelling against the night court for illyria, etc. all while lamenting that it would never be canon and I find myself enjoying them all the same but.

What if nyx grows up to be worse than feysand could ever be?

Like. It wouldn't even unrealistic for it to happen either, just unforseen from the perspective of feysand. Imagine this: a tentative peace has settled over prythian despite the growing conflicts in the continent and human lands or the looming threat of the deathless. Rhysand and feyre promise to do better and never be like their parents.

This is a nice sentiment, and nyx grows up wanting for nothing* (to the visible eye) due to both his parents being daemati. Nyx has every comfort. And every entitlement.

Children are mirrors and sponges with people not realizing how much a kid can internalize from watching an adult behaves towards someone else. And it almost always, always starts with the family.

I don't believe feyre (or rhysand for that matter) would immediately mistreat their own child**. But I don't think they'll ever grow up, change their behavior towards anyone else and take accountability. This is where the problem lies.

Nyx would be taught to be kind and compassionate but watch as his father coldly allows innocent people to rot underneath a mountain or the steppes and his uncles callously using them for cannon fodder. He would be told to treat others with respect as he watches his aunts constantly trampling the boundaries of his other aunt and his entire family disregarding sovereignty of other courts and nations. He would be taught to be just, and see how his family shackles his own aunt (and cousin possibly) into a life debt over something that wasn't even her fault. Nyx wouldn't grasp treating women well with how feyre herself looks down on femininity and does fuck all for the women in her court. And consent and privacy? Out the window the moment he had enough consciousness for rhysand to claw into.

And this is the tip of the iceberg too, as I don't really want to touch on feysand's personal issues (or the political implications). Nyx is going to be taught to be a good person as he observes how his family enforces segregation, child marriages, misogynistic violence towards women and institutional abuses both domestically and internationally with their behavior. He's going to internalize this as normal. "It's just a mask" does not work as an explanation to someone who wouldn't completely understand the concept. Besides the obvious 'cool story, you still killed people though'.

Nyx is going to grow up having entitlement worse than feyre and deliberate cruelty that makes rhysand pause because he believes that this behavior is acceptable, correct even. And while feysand and the ic would shield him from actual consequences (reinforcing the attitude) they'll also be scratching thier heads "on how did he get so bad??" while never examining their own actions.

Evil and cruelty are ultimately banal things. Rhysand and his little circle aren't special for being snarky, unfunny assholes; you can find them a dime a dozen. And if you [feyre], who has given them the world on a golden platter, has no motivation to make an effort to be better; why should your child have it either?

*this talking about physical safety and needs, not emotional ones, though meeting both is necessary for raising healthy children. Feysand are incredibly emotionally immature people and wouldn't be able to meet that requirement irregardless of what they do.

** I'm not going into the fact that rhysand would drop his kid into a war camp or blood rite and thinking it's perfectly acceptable to do so. Or the fact that feyre might groom her kid into a clone of her mate and think it's a good thing which is why I say immediately not intentionally here.

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 7

Chapter 6 His Side Story

Thank you @shatcey for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

I'm carried by the Living God, briskly transported to the depths of the temple.

With my body under the influence of the aphrodisiac, I can't move carelessly, and all my effort goes into not being conscious of the warmth of his touch.

(At this point, I don't care if it's for a fee or whatever. If there's a way to break free from this situation—)

Azel: Now, pray sincerely to the God.

Azel: Simply clasping your hands and praying is not enough. You must convey your sincerity to the God.

Azel: Fortunately, the God loves fine cuisine. By offering a special dish that will make him smack his lips…

Azel: The God will hear your prayer and dispel the affliction that plagues you.

Azel: See? It's easy, isn't it?

Emma: Yes, it is. I'd like to try it right away.

Emma: —Did you think I'd fall for that!? This is no different from usual!

Azel: Do you usually offer prayers? You didn't seem like the type.

Azel shrugs theatrically as he sets me down on the kitchen floor.

The compassionate smile that existed just seconds ago shatters, and the greedy, evil God descends once again.

Azel: And also, don't come near me.

Emma: I wouldn't come near you even if you asked me to.

Azel: That's good to hear. Well then, do your best with your prayers.

Azel: Oh, and I'll add the information fee from just now to your bill.

Emma: It's profiteering to charge me for just that information!

Azel: You're calling it profiteering without even trying it?

Emma: You're just using the aphrodisiac as an excuse to exploit me as usual, aren't you?

Azel: That's right, but?

(He's refreshingly honest!)

Azel: In reality, the aphrodisiac will naturally leave your system with time.

Azel: All you can do is sleep or distract yourself. Those are your two options.

Emma: Then I'll sleep.

Azel: Rejected.

Emma: Why!?

Azel: I'll get hungry, won't I? You might as well use your time effectively.

Emma: ......

Azel: And also…

Azel's gaze shifts slightly, and as if on cue, the door opens.

Appearing in the kitchen is Kamal, who, as always, possesses an eye-catching beauty.

Azel: Thank you for your hard work.

Kamal places the hemp sack she was carrying on the counter.

When our eyes meet, she gives me a bewitching smile, and despite being the same gender, I almost feel my heart skip a beat.

Emma: What's this?

Azel: A change of clothes. You don't want to stay in that outfit forever, do you?

Azel: After all, that outfit is an indecent one that women in the harem wear only to attract the king's attention.

(What? No one told me that!?)

Azel: Oh my, that reaction… You didn't know? Poor you.

Emma: I was told it was a fashionable outfit in Tanzanite…

Azel: That's not wrong. It's a fashionable outfit in the "harem" of Tanzanite.

(...Shoot, I was tricked…)

I thought it was just a revealing outfit, but I didn't find it odd because I'd seen women in the castle wearing similar clothes from time to time.

The maids' intentions are clear, and I clutch my head.

(There are traps everywhere.)

(...I'm starting to feel like I can't trust anything.)

Of course, the perfume and the harem outfit might have been prepared out of goodwill.

However, there's nothing in it for me to be happy about.

Azel: Kamal, thank you for listening to my sudden request.

Kamal conveys something to Azel with a hand gesture as Azel smiles.

Azel: I understand what you want to say, but let's talk about that later.

(Come to think of it, when did he have Kamal prepare the change of clothes?)

(Azel has been with me ever since we arrived at the temple.)

(He shouldn't have had time to talk to Kamal.)

While pondering this, I peek into the hemp sack.

The dress Kamal prepared for me is so beautiful that I can't help but gasp in admiration.

The dress, made of a fabric that looks like it's woven with stardust unique to Tanzanite, has a peculiar shape when you look closely. Even when spread out, I can't tell where to put my arms through.

Emma: Living God, may I ask a silly question…?

Azel: Ah, you don't know how to put it on?

Emma: …It seems so.

Azel: You just have to wrap it around yourself.

(If Kamal wasn't here, I would have been made fun of.)

Azel approaches, takes the dress from me, and puts it over my head with a gesture devoid of any tenderness.

Perhaps he was trying to wrap the hanging cloth around my waist, but his hand touches my body for a moment—

Emma: Ah…

(...!)

My sweet voice melts into the silent space filled with nothing but the rustling of clothes.

(I hate this…)

I'm so embarrassed I want to cry, I want to disappear, and I bite my lip so hard it almost bleeds.

But Azel ties the cloth without changing his expression and moves away.

Azel: I apologize… I'm not good at tying.

Azel: The shape is messy, but you understand how to wear it, right?

(Did he perhaps not hear my voice?)

(...Thank goodness. It's a small mercy.)

Azel: Once you've changed, don't leave this room.

Azel: Or rather, I'll lock the door so you can't leave even if you want to.

Emma: That sounds like confinement—

Azel: It's protection. By the way, I'm in the mood for freshly baked bread today. With cream.

Azel: I'm looking forward to it.

Leaving only his selfish order, Azel quickly leaves the room.

Kamal, who follows him, glances at me and leaves with a meaningful smile.

(What was that just now?)

-

The God, who had left the kitchen, walked down the hallway and stopped abruptly when he reached the entrance.

Azel: That was a blunder.

Kamal: Indeed. But her being an idiot is nothing new.

The bewitching beauty smiled and leaned against the railing as she spoke.

Kamal: How much did you see?

Azel: Everything, of course.

Azel: You can move right away, can't you?

Kamal: If I can use Izzet.

Azel: I don't mind. Finish it by today.

Kamal: What will you do with the hunted prey?

Azel: The God himself will show them a nightmare.

Azel: A special nightmare that will make them unable to wake up again, a living hell.

The incoming light enveloped the God, creating deep, dark shadows.

There was no compassion there, only disgust reflected in his star-filled eyes.

Kamal: …You're angrier than I expected.

Azel: I'm not angry, just disgusted.

Kamal: Either way, this isn't an unexpected turn of events, is it?

Azel: No. The God can perform divination that's equal to clairvoyance, seeing into the future.

Azel: However, all I can predict are "events."

Azel: I don't care what people think or how they feel as a result of those events.

Azel: Even if I can make statistical predictions, they're not always accurate.

Kamal: So, she reacted in a way you didn't expect, and you felt sympathy?

Azel: No way. It's just…

Azel: If she's a victim caught in the crossfire, she should be angry or scolding me, but she gave me the most difficult reaction to deal with.

Kamal: How unreasonable.

Azel: Unreasonable is fine. That's why I hate good people.

Azel: Even when faced with absurdity, they try to swallow it all. They should just lash out at something.

Kamal: Ah, I know. There's one troublesome child like that. He's a relative of mine—

Azel: Shut up.

Kamal: Oh, scary.

Azel: … Sigh…

Kamal: So, what are you going to do? If she returns to the castle, she might face even worse humiliation than today.

Azel: In that case, the Rhodolite guests won't stay silent.

Azel: It wouldn't be bad to deliberately cause trouble and have Tanzanite withdraw.

Kamal: Logically, yes. But what about her heart?

Kamal: An ordinary girl is given an aphrodisiac and forcibly exposed in such a way?

Kamal: And if the timing is bad, it could happen in front of everyone.

Azel: ..........

Kamal: Shall I protect her?

Azel: You don't want your true colors revealed, do you?

Kamal: How cruel to call it my true colors!

Azel: It would be traumatizing in a different way, so stop it.

Azel: Besides, I want to avoid you attracting the apostles attention by acting rashly.

Azel: Especially not now.

Kamal: …That's true.

Azel: I'm the only one who can protect her.

Azel: But I don't want to let her live here. It's disgusting.

Kamal: Then you have no choice but to abandon her.

Kamal: Oh, how pitiful. Dragged into this by the God's whim, she'll be left with emotional scars that will never fade…

Kamal: Her dignity as a human being will be shattered, and yet she'll still smile bravely. That type of girl…

Kamal: She doesn't want to worry others, so she keeps all her most important feelings bottled up inside…

Kamal: Well, I'm sure the God knows everything even if I don't say it.

Azel: …That's true.

Azel: Even if that happens, it has nothing to do with me.

-

(I wonder when this will go back to normal…)

I knead the dough vigorously in the bowl.

Several kinds of freshly baked bread have already been made, and the counter is bustling.

There's no need to make any more, but I couldn't let go of the only way to calm my agitated heart.

(Azel said it would subside with time, but my body is still hot.)

My escaping breath is strangely seductive, and the shame almost brings tears to my eyes again.

Whether it's because of the aphrodisiac or my worn-out spirit, I still can't shake the feeling of my wet cheeks.

(Will I be drugged again when I return to the castle?)

(...It was a good thing only Azel saw me today, but if…)

(If I suddenly end up like this in front of a lot of people, I might not be able to recover.)

Just as I slam the dough against the bowl once more, the lock clicks open.

Azel: Thank you for your hard work. You're quite the baker.

Emma: …I had a lot of time.

Azel: You were able to spend it meaningfully, right? You should thank me.

Emma: …

Azel: Oh my…

(Did he see the tear stains…?)

I hurriedly lower my eyes and focus on the dough.

I knead the dough over and over again, even though it doesn't need to be kneaded anymore—

Emma: I think it's better if you don't come near me until the aphrodisiac wears off.

Azel: I wouldn't come near you even if you didn't tell me not to, but we need to leave soon or it will be night.

(It's already that late?)

(...I have to go back. I don't have the courage to walk through the desert at night.)

Emma: I'll bake the rest of the dough when I come back.

I cover the bowl with a cloth to let the dough rest and place it in a cool, dark place.

Carefully, with slow movements, so as not to aggravate the itchy heat in my stomach.

Emma: Can I return to the castle wearing this dress?

Azel: Do as you like.

Emma: Thank you.

Azel: But it'll cost you.

Emma: …I thought you'd say that.

Azel: There's nothing scarier than free goodwill.

Emma: That's a nice way to put it.

I quickly finish cleaning up and try to head for the exit.

But the God blocks my way, and I can't go any further.

Emma: The confinement is over, isn't it?

Azel: …

Emma: I made your meal for today.

Azel: …

Emma: I should be able to go home now.

Azel: You have something you want to say, don't you?

He hits the mark, and my shoulders shake.

Azel, with his arms crossed and leaning against the wall, gives me a quiet look as if he's trying to gauge my mood.

Azel: Speak.

Emma: …

Azel: I encouraged you to pray to the God, didn't I?

Emma: If I pray… will you listen?

Azel: Who knows. At the very least, the Living God chooses who he listens to.

Azel: It depends on your attitude.

(Maybe it's because he's a God. It feels like he can see right through my heart.)

Encouraged by his mystical eyes that hold the starry sky, I somehow manage to gather my scattered words.

Emma: …From tomorrow, I would like to have at least meals with the Living God.

Emma: After what happened, I've become scared of the food at the castle…

I try to smile and appear calm.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm smiling properly because I'm desperately trying to suppress the heat raging inside me, but I didn't want to blame Azel excessively.

(Because… I'm not the real victim.)

Emma: Is that not allowed?

Azel: …

Emma: …Living God?

Azel: …

Emma: What's wrong—

Azel: …Damn it—!

(!?)

For some reason, Azel suddenly punches the wall and glares at me with a grim expression.

There's something so terrifying about him that it makes me freeze.

Azel: Get angry if you're angry, cry if you want to cry, just pick one! It's annoying!

Azel: Don't try to endure it with that creepy smile, it's a critical hit to my mental state.

(To… To think that Azel would be concerned about such a thing…!)

Azel: You never worry about me, do you?

Azel: I'm allowing your rude behavior, so stop making that face that clearly hides your true feelings.

Azel: You should say something like, "It's your fault, so hurry up and prepare a bed for me somewhere other than the castle," or something.

Emma: …Well, that's partly incorrect.

Azel: Then what is it?

Emma: I don't think the Living God is "in the wrong."

Emma: The ones in the wrong are those who try to impose their selfish desires using such underhanded methods.

Azel: …

Emma: Just because you're a God doesn't mean you have to accept everything with compassion.

(The more clearly I express it in words, the more I understand how I feel.)

(It's true that I'm just caught up in this mess with Azel because of the debt, but…)

(Azel isn't using me because he wants to, either.)

Emma: …It's not fair.

Emma: The Living God answers the prayers of the people, but the Living God's prayers don't reach the people.

Emma: Then I wondered who would help the Living God…

Emma: When I thought about it, I realized that I might be the only one right now, so I couldn't bring myself to blame you.

Now it's Azel's turn to be dumbfounded.

The awkward silence weighs heavily when the loquacious God becomes speechless.

Emma: But… um…

Emma: If… If I may speak my mind…

Emma: …I still don't want to go back to the castle…

(Azel said I don't have to endure it.)

(Maybe he'll change his mind and try to help me—)

Azel: That's rejected.

Emma: The flow of the conversation clearly indicated that you would listen to me!?

Azel: I didn't make any promises, please don't misunderstand.

Azel: Honestly, I don't care if you're drugged with an aphrodisiac or whatever, as long as I'm safe.

Emma: That's cruel.

Azel: Thank you for the compliment.

Azel: I want you to return to the castle as soon as possible, but…

With a disgruntled attitude, Azel reaches for the freshly baked bread.

The God takes a bite of the bread I baked with cream, as requested, and furrows his brow in a complicated manner.

Azel: Well then… For the sake of the freshly baked bread, I'll consider giving you an employment test.

Emma: Employment… test…?

Azel: I have no intention of keeping an incompetent person by my side.

Azel: But if there's a benefit to me having you live and work here, that's a different story.

(...!)

The God, showing an unprecedented compromise and willingness to meet me halfway, forms a compassionate smile that seems to radiate a halo.

Azel: What can you do for me?

.

.

.

Chapter 8

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[ask-postcrash-curly]

I'm sorry cap, but the things you keep saying don't make any sense. You keep contradicting yourself every time we try to talk to you about Jimmy.

You say that intentions don't make a good man - I won't disagree with you there - but every time someone talks about how Jimmy treated you, you defend his intent. "It was an accident" or "he wasn't doing it on purpose" or "I should've been able to stand up to him." Would you ever say something like that to Anya about him? No, of course you wouldn't.

Bad relationships aren't always one sided - I think that should be obvious by all the stories we've been telling you. But it doesn't justify him lashing out at you. You say you could have walked away at any time, that you're a grown man - guess what? So could he. He could've gotten help.

You can't depend on anyone else to fix you. You can only fix yourself. Because despite your past, you are everything that's wrong with you. And only you have the capacity to change that.

You say we aren't slaves to the past, you defend Jimmy like this over and over - but you won't forgive yourself for the mistake of... being his friend? You've heard it from us firsthand, you're a sweet and compassionate guy, but the lack of it towards yourself is so obvious. You have to forgive yourself to be able to make a change, cap. If you keep torturing yourself then you will keep repeating the same mistakes. Like Jimmy.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to rile you up or make confrontation. I'm glad you don't shut down on us when we try and tell you these things. We really just want you to understand.

Well, yeah, of course I do. Jimmy's a mess of contradictions.

I'm standing by what I said, but intentions matter, at least. You all wouldn't have so much sympathy for me if I hadn't wanted to protect the crew, yeah? It matters to me that it wasn't malicious. I don't know what was going through his head when anything happened between us, but I believe there was a reason. Something he wanted. Something I was giving him. Something that was more than the desire to cause me pain. Okay? Of course I'd never say that to Anya. It's different. Why he did that to her, I don't— no reason would make it any better.

He couldn't have walked away. He didn't have anyone else.

Yes— yes, exactly that. I'm everything that's wrong with me. I had issues before I met him and I had issues after. Nothing that happened between us can excuse who I am.

I'm not trying to defend him. I just— God, if anything that makes it worse. It would be easier if I could say he was a monster. That he always had to be this way. But he didn't. He didn't have to be. He can get better and he doesn't. That's not a defense, that's a fact that pains me more than you know. I don't— I don't think being his friend was wrong all along. I told you he was— he used to be better. He was a kid, when I met him. He wasn't... I could have helped him more. He wasn't this way. He was a fucking kid and I wasn't wrong to be his friend, not then. And after that, well, how could I leave after so much time had...? No, no, my worst moments were right here on this ship. He got one thing right. Everything that happened on the Tulpar is my responsibility— my fault. What he did to her, what he's put everyone through, it is my fault. Hell, even his presence here is my fault. He never would have wanted to work for Pony Express if it weren't for me. We aren't slaves to the past, but we are defined by it. I can't just forgive myself for letting this happen. Not when it's still going on. Not when she might not ever forget that night. I haven't done anything to fix it. I haven't earned any forgiveness.

Why would I keep repeating the same mistakes? If I had the physical choice to make or not make a mistake, you can't think I'd ever let anything like this happen again. Forgiveness won't help with that. If anything I need to hold myself to what I did so that I never do it again. That— that doesn't make me like him. Does it?

...I know. I know you want to help me. But that can't be by erasing what i've done.

[paperclvps]

hi chauncey. *cocks a fucking gun* it's your turn. you should tell me about twisted wonderland. NOW

(please keep in mind all i know is what vanny told me please)

Hello, Mul! Well you've walked right on into the autists grotto. Welcome, welcome. Sit tight!* *and forgive me for any incorrect info; most of this is off of the top of my head.

To begin, I should probably give you the basics.

Twisted wonderland was developed by Walt Disney Japan; and published by Aniplex. Twisted wonderland is a mix between a rythm game, a battle game, and a visual novel with a gacha system to get cards of the characters. Said characters were designed by Yana Toboso, who created Black Bulter/Kuroshitsuji, if you're familiar with that title. They also are/were in charge of the original plan, and the main script as far as I am aware. Though the game has been available in Japan since early 2020, it took until January of 2022 to be released in America and to be given an english translation. I don't think it's been released all over the world though, as I've had to download the game via quoapp and I live in the uk.

Since this is a disney game, our roster of characters is inspired by Disney Villains from various franchises- much like the dorms. These dorms, Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde and Diasomnia. They are each inspired by the 'spirit' of one of the great seven.

But who are the great seven, you may ask? To explain, there are seven influental figures in the world, called The Great Seven whose deeds are told through many legends. This group of characters are the following- The Queen of Hearts, The King of Beasts, The Sea Witch, The Sorcerer of the Sands, The Fairest Queen, The King of the Underworld, and The Thorn Fairy. I'm sure you're able to figure out which villains each of these is based off of via their names, so I won't go into that.

The great seven, in the world of twisted wonderland- aren't considered to be villains. The statues of them at night raven college- the setting of the game, speak only of their good qualities. Such as the following; 'A compassionate sea witch who dwelled in a grotto deep beneath the waves. To repent for past misdeeds, she devoted herself to helping troubled souls, guiding even seemingly hopeless romances to a true happy ending.' To put that into perspective, these 'villains' are highly respected.

I would like to say from here, that despite their similarities, the characters you interact with at night raven college are NOT related to the great seven, or their henchmen and the likes. They're inspired by them, though, and 'twisted' from the characters. But, Azul, the Ursula inspired character does not equal the sea witch.

In the game, you as the player take the role of 'Yuu'- or whatever you choose to call yourself. The protagonist. Despite having no powers of your own, being a completely ordinary human- you are taken to the world of twisted wonderland via a magic mirror. You find yourself at night raven college; a magic training school for boys. You need to find your way back home, but the headmaster- a man called Dire Crowley- offers you protection until a way to do so is discovered. You, or, Yuu, is placed in an unnamed, run down dormitory outside of the main campus, and throughout the game you will be partnered up with Grim, A hot headed fire monster cat who originally made attempts to steal your spot at the college. Chaos ensued, but after the events of the start of the prolouge, you and Grim end up enrolling as one student- since you are unable to use magic.

Generally I just find it to be a fun and (mostly) light hearted game, although some of the overblot storylines hit me in the feels and resonate with me a lot. ('Overblot is a form taken by those who overuse their magic and let their negative emotions "blot" their magic wands.')

You can play twistunes, which is the rythm game part, decorate a 'guest room', partake in battles, and read vignettes or the main story to get to know the characters better.

You mentioned to vanny that you wanted a more simple explanation, so I wont go any further unless you have questions, but please feel free to send a follow-up ask if anything is confusing!

Tldr, normal human gets sent to magic world and magic school, needs to find a way to get home, interacts with the other students who are inspired by disney villains along the way and you get the treat of watching one of them traumadump after you beat their overblot boss battle. It's also silly.

Just a note if you want to play the game, it can be quite grind-heavy, so if you dislike repetitive tasks it may not be the game for you.

If you read this far here's me and my boyfriend vvvv

[sokkastyles]

You say you want a good faith argument but then dismiss the discussion about misogyny with "Oh you're just saying that because of any discussion of flaws that aren't fandom sanctioned." The words you use don't indicate that you are arguing in good faith. And I could tell even before you said it that you don't like Katara very much and that your attempts to "discuss" are leading in that direction. I talked about misogyny in my last post because that is what it is when Katara is expected to be nurturing but then told she is too mothering and no fun for it, expected to be moral but then told she is self-righteous for it, and then when she gets angry in the ways other characters do, told that she's out of line for it. That is misogyny and a large part of Katara's narrative conflict is about that. There can be no discussion of what you call Katara's "flaws" that doesn't acknowledge that. I did not tell you you are willfully ignorant. Up above I just assumed that you didn't know. But your negative response to being told about it does imply willful ignorance.

And might I remind you that this did not begin as a general discussion of Katara's flaws where I just threw out the word misogyny to deflect. Your original argument was that the reason Aang tried to enforce forgiveness of her mother's murderer onto her was because "that was the image she projected." The idea that a woman can't be angry about her mother's murder because she's kind and compassionate and moral elsewhere is nonsense, and it is exactly what I was referring to when I said Katara is expected to be a Madonna (and is even portrayed in a literal Madonna pose at one point in the show). It is because of misogyny that women's personalities are polarized this way, and that is even more true when it's her narrative love interest doing it in the episode. No amount of kindness or goodness Katara shows means she deserves to be told that she's a bad person if she doesn't forgive her mother's murderer. Even if she herself believes that, and I do think that on some level she does, as at the end of the show she lingers over whether she did the right or wrong thing. But that's also why it's so frustrating to see Aang and Sokka try to act like they need to be her moral compass, as if Katara already doesn't carry this burden, as if she hasn't told herself every day since she was eight that she's a bad person because her mother died in her place, or because she feels angry about what happened.

I think it's also important to understand that Katara's moral standards also come from that inner conflict within herself, the guilt and anger she feels over her mother's death.

We tend to give male characters this understanding by default, but less so with women, and it's because of misogyny.

And, honestly, I also do not think the narrative portrays her as always right. There are many places where she is right but the narrative portrays her morality in a negative way for laughs, and that comes from misogyny, too. See the repeated joke about how she was "so full of hope" in Ember Island Players. There is nothing wrong with Katara's hope, and in fact it is the catalyst for the story's start. So why is it mocked by the narrative? The answer is because it is a traditional female trait, and those are worthy of mockery. While also being the expectation. The Southern Raiders is an episode that specifically deals with Katara as a person and how her personhood clashes with the expectations put on her by others, and a lot of that does have to do with misogyny, so ask and you shall receive my answer, even if it's one you don't want to hear.

To continue the discussion re: Katara and forgiveness I have a scalding hot take. It's important for me to disclaim that I don't fault Katara for wanting revenge on her mother's killer, nor have I ever believed she was in the wrong for feeling that way. However, sometimes I think Katara is expected to be an eternally forgiving Madonna figure because that was the image of herself she herself projected. From the very start of the show she's been rather self-righteous and never had doubts about her indestructible moral compass. Her line from Spirit Lady about never turning her back on the people who need her just gave me the impression that she has a mighty big savior complex. I know most people are endeared to her for those reasons but due to my own personal tastes it had the opposite effect for me (and I'm worried I'll get some flack for saying all this). I love characters who struggle with doing the Right Thing (tm) SUE ME. And now comes a situation where she finally FINALLY has a major moral quandary. She's manufactured this image of being perpetually virtuous. But now the illusion is shattered when there's discordance between what she wants to do versus what is the right (albeit, subjectively so) thing to do. You know, something every other human on earth has struggled with and that for a while she had distanced herself from. It was refreshing to see this major conflict between her and the people in her life. I just wanted to share my two cents (and friendly reminder I acknowledge that it's a scalding hot take) and I hope my criticism of Katara doesn't evoke too much anger from the ATLA masses *Sweats nervously*

To be honest, I think it's odd to say that Katara has always portrayed herself as perpetually virtuous when she's introduced to us in the very first episode yelling about having to wash Sokka's dirty socks. Right off the bat, we are told that she is a character who does NOT accept the role of the perfect, quiet, subservient, nurturing female. That's what I mean by a Madonna figure. It's a specific term used to describe misogynistic standards placed on women. Standards Katara speaks out against, loudly and openly, in the first few seconds she is introduced.

Katara's strong sense of morals is another matter. Katara has a defined sense of right and wrong and that means she holds herself to high standards, too, but that is a big part of her moral struggle. And that's been a part of her arc since early on, too, when she ran into conflict with the earthbenders or Jet in season one because they didn't live up to her moral standards and because she didn't know what the right thing to do was when the people she expected to be the heroes wouldn't step up in the way she expected, or turned out to actually be the villains. Katara has a certain way she expects the world to be and throughout the show that ideal is constantly fighting with the reality of the world and its expectations.

But all of this also occurs because of the pressure she feels to fit a certain standard, and to say that Katara imposed this on herself is kinda ignorant of the institutional nature of sexism, to be honest. Katara may think it's her job to take care of everyone, but she was eight years old when she began to internalize that, and it didn't happen in a vacuum, it happened due to the expectations that already existed for girls to take on a motherly role plus the trauma of her mother's death.

That's one of the things about sexism. It says that girls and women need to behave a certain way, then treats that prescribed behavior like it's a natural trait instead of a learned one and makes it the subject of mockery. Katara is often treated this way by the narrative, too. And then when she acts in a way that is counter to that prescribed behavior, it's portrayed as weird or out of line, even though that part of Katara has always been present throughout the story, and in fact one of the reasons she was so angry in the Southern Raiders was because the others kept acting like she was somehow not herself instead of recognizing where her hurt was coming from.

Sorry, I find this take to be luke-warm, at best.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Hello, m'lady!

If you don't mind, here are some incoherent thoughts about some of the Bois that came to my mind after reading around in your brilliant writing. You said you wouldn't mind my incoherent thoughts, so I thought I'd share them! (I'm still working on my incoherent Bad Batch thoughts, btw)

I want to hug Jesse. Like, he's hot as hell no questions asked, but I also just want to hug him. Like, a long hug. And tell him that he's loved and that he's enough and wonderful exactly as he is.

Also, I want to cook for all the clones, but these vibes are the strongest with Wrecker, and, for some reason, Hardcase and Fives.

Also, my ideal date is going to one of those public strawberry picking fields where you can just... walk around and fill your basket with strawberries, and afterwards go home and bake strawberry cake, and I'm going to drop that in this context.

Also I find it so interesting how non-commitical Rex actually is; like, who would've guessed that a guy with such a spit-death-in-the-face attitude on the battlefield would be so scared to let someone into his heart.

Also, I low-key wanna call Cody Marshall Commander, Sir and see what happens >:3

I haven't even consumed any Delta Squad material, but solely the writing on this blog made me love them all and (idk, maybe they've met in canon XD) I think Boss and Cody would get along.

And someone should tell Fixer to go tf to sleep, I'm sensing that he doesn't do that *nearly* enough.

Someone should also tell Kix that always putting others first and neglecting his own needs is not what being a good, compassionate person is about, and that he's worth it.

I could go on and on, damn, but lemme just say that your depiction of the Bois really helped shape a more 3-dimensional and rich picture of them in my head and that is awesome :)

Also thank you sm for my date set-up again, I'd 100% ask the dear commander for a second date.

I've been thinking about these gems nonstop since you dropped them in my inbox! 💙 I love getting thoughts like this so keep them coming! I don't get to talk about these wonderful clone men IRL so this is my only outlet 😅

And just so you know, I did intend to respond like a normal person and just... piggyback on your thoughts, share a few of my own, call it a day... but then my hand slipped and now I have 8 whole one-shots to share instead 😳😳

So, in honor of May the Fourth, I've got my 8 stories queued up to post throughout today (5/4), all based on what you shared here! We've got hurt/comfort, we've got silliness, we've got slice-of-life, we've even got some spice.... I had so much fun writing these and I hope you all enjoy them! 

Thanks for the inspo, friend! Wishing everyone a fantastic Star Wars day! 🌟

JESSE

Jesse definitely needs a good, solid hug every once in a while. Be prepared for his reaction, though, it'll be quite an emotional moment for him...

WRECKER (+Fives and Hardcase)

They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...

BLACKOUT

Why not go on this ideal date with your new beau, Blackout? 😃

REX

His fear of commitment is interesting, huh? But he does have many loved ones who will help him work through that fear...

CODY

Oh boy, you'd best be ready for a long night after a line like that...

BOSS & CODY

They're leaders with different styles, different responsibilities, different crews... and yet they're bonded together like two old men who just met in the power tools aisle...

FIXER TECH

Actually, I headcanon that Fixer is an early bird. It's more likely that someone would tell him to go back to sleep.

Tech on the other hand...

KIX

There aren't a lot of people Kix would listen to if they told him that. Thankfully you're one of them...

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Mad Love] Chapter 25

Chapter 24 Premium Story

♡———♡

If life were a fairy tale, it would be easy to find happiness.

All you'd need to do is be kind, compassionate, and full of love.

Usually, people like that are the protagonists of stories... and "protagonists" usually end up happy.

But what if you were an irredeemable villain,

and on top of that, fell in love with someone like a "protagonist"?

The chances of a happy ending for you would be incredibly low.

In my case? Well, what do you think? Which one do you believe?

-

– One month later, as promised.

Victor looked up contentedly, holding the final report I had submitted.

Victor: Thank you, Kate. You kept our secret and documented their crimes.

Kate: I'm relieved to have completed the task I was assigned.

Kate: I believe I've honestly recorded all actions that are clearly crimes according to the law and ethics.

Victor: Yes. And on top of that, your "special notes" that you always include were quite interesting.

Kate: I wanted to add what I saw and felt with my own eyes...

It was a desperate measure for me, who couldn't write that obvious crimes were "not crimes" out of personal feelings, nor could I write that they were "crimes" in a rigid manner, excluding all personal feelings.

In reality, what Alfons does is like a mirror, where good and evil are two sides of the same coin.

He shows illusions and drives people mad – but some are saved by it.

The work of taking lives is a serious crime – but there are also lives that cannot be saved without doing so.

Victor: I actually think these "special notes" are important and valuable.

Kate: Huh...?

I looked at Victor in surprise, and he gently narrowed his eyes.

Victor: I told you at the beginning, didn't I? I want you to write down what you think is a crime.

Victor: In your eyes... they were not cursed beings destined to commit crimes.

Victor: Reading this, it's clear you saw them as human beings.

Victor: And it's that perspective, the ability to look at the person in front of you, not their status, title, or superficial impression...

Victor: I believe that's what will lead this country to a better place.

Victor lovingly gazes at the words. It's the same expression he sometimes shows when looking at the Crown members and me.

Kate: Victor and William – why did you two establish the Crown?

Victor: Hmm? Well...

Victor: Just as everyone living in the bright places of this country wishes it could be that way for everyone...

Victor: We wished that those who can only live in the darkness of night could also spread their wings freely... I guess.

I probably still only know a fraction of the dark world they fly in.

But I had no anxiety about diving into it.

Victor: Now, you are officially free.

Victor: Can you tell me? What do you want to do from now on?

Kate: Yes, Victor.

I lift my chin.

Kate: Please let me continue my work as a Fairytale Keeper.

Kate: I want to stake my life on defying Alfons' fate.

Like a flickering illusion, Alfons' true form has slipped through my fingers countless times, leaving my heart lost and wandering.

But each time, hope also appeared before me.

Kate: Investigating with Roger, I felt that there are things I can do.

Kate: Besides... memories become more deeply etched the more you trace them.

Kate: If I deeply engrave them in my eyes, ears, nose, and entire body, something might remain.

Victor smiled with narrowed eyes and firmly shook my hand.

Victor: ...That's a wonderful decision. I'll support you.

Kate: Thank you.

Victor: So...

Victor: Have you told him about it?

Kate: That's...

-

Kate: So, I look forward to continuing to work with you.

Roger: Yeah, same here.

I handed him a summary of the report to Her Majesty, specifically the part detailing what I knew about Alfons' curse and abilities.

Roger grinned.

Roger: You're a naughty girl, aren't you? Leaking the report to Her Majesty.

Kate: Primary sources only gain value when they're in the hands of a skilled researcher.

Kate: There's no researcher in all of Britain who investigates curses as earnestly as you, Roger.

Kate: If this advances research on curses even a little...

Kate: It would be beneficial to Her Majesty, who bears the burden of the cursed for the sake of the country, wouldn't it?

Elbert: ...Hehe.

I looked up at the sound of laughter, like sunlight filtering through thin lace curtains.

The beautiful person who had been watching us from a simple examination bed was laughing.

Kate: Is something wrong...?

Elbert: No... your way of speaking has become a bit like Al's, I thought.

Kate: Huh?

(Did I sound like him just now...?)

My face suddenly felt hot, and I hurriedly searched for another topic.

Kate: Um, Elbert, why are you here? Are you injured somewhere?

Roger: He was stumbling around from lack of sleep, so I just forcibly put him to sleep with sleeping pills.

Kate: Are you alright...?

Elbert: Yeah. It's common... don't worry about it.

Elbert: ...If you have any trouble, tell me. I'll do anything I can.

Elbert: This time, for sure... so that the happiness of "both of you" won't be broken.

("This time, for sure"...?)

It bothered me a little, but Elbert's eyes were somewhat sad, and I couldn't ask.

Until something decisive happened, like Alfons leaving a will and disappearing, it feels like Elbert has always been watching us from a slight distance, like this.

(Will I ever understand the meaning of his words and the reason for his sad eyes...?)

Kate: ...Elbert, if there's anything I can help you with, please tell me.

Elbert: Thank you. ...If you could be happy with Al, that would be the best.

Roger: So, the Fairytale Keeper will continue her exclusive contract with Al, huh?

Roger: ...So, on this momentous contract renewal day, where is the man himself?

Kate: That's...

Kate: He's not here... nowhere to be found...

-

I haven't told Alfons about anything yet, including what I told Victor and the others about my future plans.

It's all because Alfons went off somewhere and hasn't returned to the castle.

Kate: Where did he go...?

He should know that today is the day of our promise.

(Doesn't he care if I stay at the castle or go back to town...?)

Feeling uneasy, I quietly returned to my room and found an unfamiliar envelope on the bed.

(Th-this incredibly illegible handwriting... it's Alfons...!)

I hurriedly opened it – it only said "Post Office."

Kate: Wh-what...? Does this mean I should go there? What does it-- Ugh!

Unable to stand still, I rushed out of the room.

-

Director: I'm glad you came to say goodbye after sending such a polite resignation letter.

Director: If you have any trouble at your next job, you're always welcome to come back.

Director: Oh, right. I have an envelope for you that I was asked to give you when you came.

The next envelope said, "At the pub...".

-

Manager: Oh, it's been a while, lass. Al hasn't been making you cry again, has he?

Manager: If he's been giving you a hard time, just say the word. I'll smack him with one of the bottles he keeps here.

Manager: Oh, I almost forgot. Here, Al told me to give this to you if you came by.

-

The next one was the market where the boy I saved from the Docklands fire worked.

Youth: Ah... M-miss...

Youth: Um, at the harbor warehouse... th-that fire... th-thank you for saving me.

Youth: I-I'm... working here now, thanks to a referral from the person who got me into the hospital...

Youth: I didn't know there was such a warm life.

Youth: Ah, this... the man from that time told me to give it to you if you came.

-

Kate: Huff... huff... In the end, back to the original place...!?

By the time I got back to my room, following the instructions in the letters, it was already completely dark.

The last envelope was tossed on the bed, just like the first one.

*"Welcome back. I'm sorry to bother you when you're tired, but would you like to have a party tonight?"

*"If YES, dress up and come to the dining hall."

Even I think I'm an idiot for obediently dressing up according to this unreasonable message.

While even the Alfons in my head mocked me for being so serious, I entered the dining hall...

-

Kate: Alfons, what are you up to...!?

I gasped as I saw the dining table adorned with a luxurious dinner.

Alfons: Even after being so unreasonably dragged around, you still follow me.

Alfons: You really are an idiot, aren't you?

Alfons, who had been sitting leisurely in a chair, stood up and approached me, gallantly extending his hand.

Kate: What's going on, all this...? Did Victor prepare this...?

Alfons: No? I prepared it while you were running all over London, buying me time.

Alfons: Amazing, isn't it? Please praise me with all the vocabulary you can muster.

Kate: You prepared all of this, Alfons...?

Alfons: Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm good at cooking.

Alfons winked, saying so.

Alfons: Perhaps it's a reaction to having eaten nothing but garbage-like meals, but I have a weakness for delicious food.

Alfons: It's a surprise.

And so, he escorts me, who is dumbfounded, to my seat.

Alfons: Say, Kate. How was it breathing in the London air today?

A napkin is spread over my lap, and a chuckle brushes past my ear.

Kate: Huh...?

Alfons: The post office, it must have brought back memories. You're so straightforward and serious, I bet you missed it.

Alfons: You probably don't have many good memories of the pub. Well, the place itself isn't bad.

Alfons: The boy you saved must have blended into the peaceful everyday life of London.

Alfons: ... Didn't you want to go back?

The man next to me is smiling like a devil.

The real purpose of having me run around today wasn't to buy time for a surprise.

-- Wouldn't you be happier if you went back?

He toyed with me all day just to dangle that devilish whisper.

Kate: You're really the worst, you know.

Alfons: Oh my, how hurtful.

Kate: If I said I'm leaving the castle and going back to my old life... what would you do with this feast?

Alfons: Of course, I'd have to tearfully eat it all myself.

Alfons: You'd be spared from the tragedy, and I'd just continue dancing merrily as always.

Kate: I see...

Kate: Then... this is my answer.

While staring back into his eyes as he leaned in, I pressed my lips against his.

When I gently bit his lip, Alfons narrowed his eyes.

It was a smile like that of someone watching a kitten playfully biting their fingertip.

Alfons: ... I understand very well.

A whisper melted into the space between our lips, and my breath was taken away again.

Kate: Nn... -Kyah!

He lifted me up like a child and placed me on the dining table, and the napkin on my lap fluttered to the floor.

Alfons: The return for your kiss will be directly on your body.

--CHOICES--

After taking a bath

You have bad manners

After moving to the room

---------------

Kate: ... On the table? That's... improper...

Alfons: The one being improper is you, seducing me in such a sexy dress.

My protest is ignored as a matter of course, and my entangled hands are pressed against the table.

Alfons: Heh...

Kate: Nn...!

His palm slid through the slit of my dress, slowly crawling up my thigh.

My body jumped, and the wine glass tipped over with a clink.

Alfons: Besides, you already know...

Alfons: ...that I don't have the integrity to value manners, don't you?

Alfons looked down at me as I collapsed onto the table, laughing happily, then stood up and threw off his coat and leather gloves.

The gesture makes me forget where I am, and my body heats up.

(All day, I wanted to see you... my chest aches from longing.)

Kate: ... All day, while I was walking around town, you were all I could think about.

Kate: I kept thinking maybe I'd see you at the next place...

My longing grew so strong that I grabbed his tie and pulled him close.

The weight of him leaning over me filled me with such love that I wanted to cry.

Kate: There's no room for my old life anymore... everything is filled with you.

To be toyed with, manipulated, and then face tragedy in the end...

Kate: What's so bad about tragedy...?

Kate: I'll make you laugh so hard you'll fall over on stage—

Kate: I'll turn it into the most delightful tragedy in the world.

Alfons: ...Hehe, I see. A delightful tragedy, huh?

Alfons: If you're my dance partner, that sounds rather interesting.

Alfons: You know, Kate... In truth, today was all for this.

Memories from the night they met intertwine within their overlapping gazes.

Kate: For this...?

Alfons: Your words just now, the angry look on your face when you burst into this room,

Alfons: The anticipation that, despite being so angry, you dressed up so beautifully for our party,

Alfons: To savor the genuine love that seeps through all of that... That was my aim.

Kate: ...Nn, ah...

His naughty fingertips tickle my skin, lighting a fire in my core.

The place where he pressed his hips against, spreading my legs, was hot and throbbing.

Just like what you said… He, who seemed like an illusion slipping through my fingers, craving my love so greedily,

If he did something as foolish as this,

I'd be so happy, so filled with love, that it would hurt.

(Tell me more. Brand me deeper.)

(Your words, your heat… your truth.)

Alfons: ...Tonight, unlike last time with the cupcakes, you're not saying anything about dinner, are you?

He looked down at me with amusement as I stumbled over my words, my expectations laid bare.

Alfons: What happened to your earlier bravado? Come on, tell me.

Alfons: When two people truly love each other, what do they do... at a time like this?

My heart is pounding so hard it's hard to breathe.

Because beyond the vanished mirage, I can now see your true smile.

Kate: ...D-dinner can wait.

Kate: We... we get messy and make love, that's what.

His thin lips slowly curve into a smile.

Alfons: -Ah, good.

Alfons: Actually, the menu is full of dishes that are delicious even when they're cold.

(W-what...)

Kate: You...you planned this from the start...?

Alfons: Aha! Don't make it sound like I'm just after your body, that's not a nice thing to say.

Kate: It's half true, though...

Alfons: The other half might be sincerity, love, or something like that.

Alfons: Whatever you want to believe is the truth.

An outrageous, good-for-nothing, immoral, and unfaithful man, like a nightmare.

He hates tragedies, loves cats.

Delicious food too... and probably me as well.

That's the Alfons I know—the truth I never want to forget.

Alfons: You won't say you've reached your limit, will you?

Alfons: ...You'll entertain me more, won't you?

-

I don't know if our ending will be a tragedy or a comedy.

But that's what makes a story interesting.

The characters just believe in the ending they want and push forward.

Whether this love is a spice that makes the tragedy more cruel,

Or the key to turning it into a comedy—

The "truth" I want to believe in is already decided.

FIN

-

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Mad Love Chapter 25 His POV

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[highlyillogicalandroid]

Jew with a degree in religious studies and a rabbi for a mom chiming in! (Long addition ahead...)

I think it's important to remember that while Neil is Jewish, he's playing in a different sandbox, as it were. The angels and demons of Good Omens, and the broader institutions of which they're a part, are fully inspired by Christian tradition. Heaven doesn't work Like That in Judaism, ask 5 Jews what hell is and you'll get 10 answers, and we certainly don't have the antichrist or the second coming as part of our tradition. (We believe, broadly speaking, in the first coming of the messiah, which has yet to happen.)

What is very Jewish about the story, as the ever-amazing @actual-changeling points out, is that asking questions is good, actually! AND that learning, which arguably necessitates changing and growing as a person (or celestial being) is quite literally a mitzvah--a religious commandment (technically specific to studying Torah, but this includes a good deal of philosophy and ethics, so let's count it).

I believe that's why we as the audience are meant to empathize with Crowley. If you told a Christian, "One of the main characters is a demon from hell" with no other context, I would guess they'd immediately think that character was a Bad Guy, and they might have a much more visceral reaction to that than I as a Jew would. But Good Omens tells us that angels and demons aren't inherently good or evil. They're just very powerful beings in the midst of a conflict they have little, if any, power over.

Crowley isn't compassionate and kind in spite of being a demon. He's compassionate and kind because that's just who he is. Gabriel isn't a dick in spite of being an angel. He's a dick because he's a dick (sorry, Gabe).

What's really interesting to me about the story Neil and Terry chose to tell is that it feels like they were asking, "What if we applied the philosophy and values of Judaism to a Christian paradigm?" and then went for it. The best kind of fuck around and find out, if you will.

I also feel like, to a Jew, playing in this sandbox must be so cathartic. Christianity was born of Judaism. Heaven, Satan (literally the "opponent" or "adversary," from the Hebrew, rather than a Name), angels, demons, are all present in Jewish tradition, but in a very different way. It's a lot more nuanced than simple good and evil. For example, demons are more a folk tradition for us, kind of like ghouls, not necessarily evil but often naughty or mischievous. So reading and watching Good Omens, to me, feels almost like a reclamation of my culture.

What does that mean for G-d's role in the series? Perhaps very little. Or maybe it means everything. We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.

I have thoughts about Good Omens that are driving me crazy. (Spoilers ahoy for season 2)

Like

Was Crowley set up for the fall? God made him with a curious nature and questioning mind, how can she then punish him for asking questions? It is part of his design. Was that her plan for him all along? The question of whether Adam and Eve were set up for the fall is a fairly big question in Philosophy, which Crowley references in season 1. I do wonder if his fall was just as planned as humanities.

Was he punished perhaps not for the questions, but because he found the answer? There are several instances where he meets angels and demons from his past and he has no idea who they are. Did he learn Gods ineffable plan, and have his mind wiped?

Or worse, does God need him as part of Her plan, as a Wild Card on Earth that will gladly work against both heaven and hell? If his fall was by design, then he has a purpose on Earth.

Is God dead? We had no narration in season 2, no voice of God essentially. We established that the angels plans were seperate to Gods ineffible plan, and that they can fall to tempation. Is Metatron moving against God, or filling a power vacuum left by God?

If Crowleys fall was planned, then was Aziraphales? Angels seem to have free will in GO (not so much in scripture though which is interesting. Maybe they dont at all in GO, just an illusion of it, which would then support the notion that Crowley and Aziraphale are supposed to work together). Together he and Crowley are more powerful then any arch angel, is that by design? Was whole point that angels and demons if they learned to work together would become more powerful than either faction? Or is it just because of how utterly in love and in sync with each other they are? Was he created to help guide Crowley, or vice versa or both. I kind of like the idea that God made them for each other.

Is this the reason Metatron wants Aziraphale? He is threatened by them as a pair, and wants to seperate them?

This is the probelm with an all powerful God and free will. How much of events are by design, and what is screwed up because angels are acting against their orders/natures? As Metatron said, people are predictable, and then he went on to play Aziraphale like a fiddle. Is that what God does too? She knows how each of her angels will behave and puts them on the path they need to be on?

I have some confusion. Sorry for the ramble. I studied Philosophy and Theology in college, and though that was a long time ago, this show has triggered something in my brain.

[everybody-loves-purdy]

OK, Cinderfur was never forced into any role. She WAS told that she would probably never become a warrior (in a time period where no one was guaranteed to be a warrior because they hadn't recognized the cruelty of their systems yet.) She then spent a lot of time with Yellowfang in the medicine den that helped her grow and rediscover herself after her world suddenly changed, and was given an opportunity by Yellowfang she had never considered before. She chose to become a medicine cat.

You can read ableism undertones into it for sure, it isn't perfect, but she is never depicted as being forced to learn medicine or take the role like later cats. Nobody thought about her being a medicine cat except Yellowfang, after she witnessed how happy it made Cinder and how good she was at it. She was given an option every step of the way and that's the one she chose. Maybe insecurity played a part in it to some extent, but she is shown to be satisfied and happy with her choice.

Her own sister is living proof that just because someone said she would never be a warrior doesn't mean that statement is true. It was a statement by more orthodox cats who could not recognize the cruelty of their traditions as something that could change. And both Cinderfur and Brightheart were part of the generation led by Firestar who brought about that change by defying that cruelty and reshaping their society into a more compassionate one where cats like them are allowed the same opportunities as everyone else and aren't just thrown out as cautionary tragedies.

I know it might be difficult, after time upon time later on in the series where cats were forced to take up the role because starclan said so, but Cinderfur was never FORCED into anything. Cinderfur's path in that just happened to take her into the realm of medicine instead, which has only long after her time in the series since been boiled into a terrible cliche forced upon other cats. given the presence of deadfoot and brightheart and several others, everything from that time points to it being entirely possible for her to have become a warrior if she chose to pursue it, most certainly so by the time Firestar was leader.

It was only later narrative choices that tried to change this for the worst for plotlines that even they realized were stupid and awful, and so dropped. (Coincidentally, all done within the same period, late-tnp through tpot, that was super dense with ableism in general.) Cinderfur was not forced to be a medicine cat.

I generally agree here. It is definitely something she grew passionate about under Yellowfang’s guidance and it is something she genuinely loved and enjoyed. But I feel that the forcing issue comes from in the first place how she never seemed to get to chance attempt to see if she could still adapt and become a warrior (at least as far as the the audience sees anyway).

But yeah prior to the whole reincarnation mess Cinderpelt loved being a medicine cat and it was a path she chose herself. Yellowfang noticed her growing passion for being a medicine cat and so offered her the chance to become one, which she readily accepted of her own free will. I hate how her story was soiled on by adding the “oh she was so unhappy we just had to reincarnate her and not the countless dead kits who never got the chance to even become apprentices”

[swordofsun]

Wheel of Time episode 5 - Blood Calls Blood

Here be book spoilers. Just all the book spoilers. I take no responsibility for you being spoiled after this point.

I think I need to break this up via character. Possibly my favorite episode and I didn't expect to even think about throwing out the word favorite without even seeing Siuan or Min. The next three episodes are going to destroy me, I can tell already.

Rand and Matt (and Loial):

Again their story stays a bit simple, but lovely and full of foreshadowing.

Mat is increasingly paranoid which is great, but I wish we got to SEE the dagger a bit more. Like we got to see him clutching it, but it wasn't obviously the dagger.

That scene with Logain huh? They are keeping his Talet of seeing ta'veren it looks like. Seeing both Mat and Rand together must've been a trip.

At least Rand didn't climb any fucking walls here.

Rand picked up a book of Dragon Prophecies! Hell of a thing for an inn to just have on a shelf.

I know the ogre - ogier thing was for rv watchers, but it really gave a shout out to what a nerd Rand is in the books. We've all had that moment where we realize we've only ever read a word and don't actually know how to pronounce it.

Speaking of Loial I'm sad at the lack of ears, but understand the practical application was probably too hard and expensive.

Overall liked Loial, very excited about the humans and wants to make friends

Although a bit odd they kept the "chased through the city" stuff when changing the meeting to Tar Valon. Says a lot about Ogier that they aren't recognized on sight in Tar Valon of all places.

Rand recognized Dragonmount! That is both your birthplace and your grave you little ray of sunshine! I can't wait for the emotional and mental torment to really start destroying him. Not to mention the physical. (I heard Joshua was excited about the box. Can anyone confirm?)

Nyneave!:

I love that everyone was assuming the previous episode was her first time touching the One Power. Or course they haven't been spending the past month pushing her to break her block, they don't realize she has one!

Nyneave best still have her block. It's fucking important to her character.

Then we get Nyneave telling Rand about Egwene and the break breakbone fever! Her actual first Healing.

Side note I love Moraine's whole everything when Liandrin tried to suggest Nyneave might end up anywhere but the Yellows.

Nyneave's continued distrust of Aes Sedai and how little they are doing to fix that. Nyneave never fully buys into the White Tower propaganda and I love it.

The Warders:

I really liked how much time they spent on Stepin. So important to show the effect of the bond breaking, of a Warder losing their Aes Sedai.

Nyneave spending her time worrying about him and offering what comfort she can. She's been giving him sleeping tea! She told him his pain would never go away when it was exactly what he needed to hear! Such a good and compassionate healer.

I adore the deatb rituals shown. One of my favorite things about New Spring is the hints of actual spirituality RJ put in and the show expanding on that is perfect.

Alanna singing, the candles, arranging the bodies in a motherfucking circle!

"May the last embrace of the mother welcome you home." Don't mind me sobbing.

Everyone in Tar Valon knowing what an empty horse with a backwards boot meant. Such a small detail, but so good.

Warders returning their Aes Sedai's ring is such a good detail. Give them a reason to make it home and try to keep them alive.

The way all the Warders stood in quiet solidarity. I love the bits of Warder culture we got in the books and this adds to it so well.

The discussion about being chosen as a Warder and the honor in it.

How everyone was sad, but not surprised, that Stepin killed himself.

Stepin's funeral! I really like the idea that everyone morns, but one person is choosen to vocalise that grief. It takes the silly single wail we see so often in shows and movies and makes it a group expression of loss.

Moraine and Nyneave reaching for each other. I want them to be uneasy allies.

Moraine:

Between her discussion with Alanna and the funeral scene I think the groundwork for what she does with Lan's bond has been well laid. Especially because she can see how much Lan and Nyneave care for each other already.

Her shared grief with Lan. The pain and loss unique to Aes Sedai and Warders.

Her sexy silence about Siuan. I can't wait for them to finally have some scenes together.

Thought: If we're getting Min in Fal Dara it's likely Moraine has spent time with her before and perhaps been given some of Min's foretelling. Her expression during that talk with Alanna makes me wonder if she doesn't know that she'll be dying before Lan.

Egwene, Perrin, and the Tuatha'an:

I love that we got our first look at Tuatha'an dedication to non-violence at the same time as we got to see how far White Cloaks will go.

Poor Aram just left knocked out on the ground. We'll see you later!

Egwene being Egwene! This is the Eggy we know and love. Core of iron and unbreakable. Her entire discussion with Valda had me internally screaming about future Amyrlin Seats. So good.

Perrin finally told someone about Laila. That was such a good scene. He really needed to hear that it wasn't his fault.

Egwene splitting the threads! So sneaky and great!

Egwene just straight up stabbing Valda. Loved it!

Goldeneyes!

Perrin is a bit more werewolfy then in the books. I like it.

He starting to understand the wolves and realize he's been adopted.

As gruesome as it was I adore the wolves just tearing apart the White Cloak camp. Saving Young Bull and being terrifying.

Are we gonna get Elyas next episode?

This has gone on too long so final thoughts:

I heard they 3D printed a lot of the set for the White Tower and cannot fault them if true. It looks gorgeous and the sort of intricate stonework the books talked about.

Was Alanna eating an apple or a peach? I need some better screencaps because it looked like a peach and I am not okay with that.

Peaches better still be poison. I need that bit of bizarre canon.

Still got penis mountain and vigina island.

[signedaiko]

May I get an amica endura matchup for TFP/MTMTE?

I’m a proud autistic, queer, indigenous two spirit who prefers males and goes by they/them and xe/xem pronouns.

I’m 5’7 ft with brown eyes, wavy, brown hair,and tan skin. My face is heart shaped with acorn shaped eyes and a curvy, hourglass figure. I have stretch marks on my chest, hips, and belly from growth spurts and weight gain (which I fondly call my ‘lightning strikes’).

My sun sign is Gemini, my moon sign is Cancer, and personality type is INFJ.

I’m schizoaffective but I’m on the right cocktail of meds that allow me to function and have a great quality of life. That being said I’m not the least bit keen of being taken advantage of or manipulated, I shut that shit down real quick and without mercy.

Personalitywise I’m adept, intelligent, thoughtful, imaginative, creative, compassionate, intuitive but a bit dopey and blunt at times.

Towards my friends I’m attentive and warm, always finding ways to make them laugh without meaning to (I’m told it’s endearing) and encourage conversation and fun.

With my life partners( platonic, alterous, or otherwise) quality time and communication is everything! I give them gifts and always plan something fun or rejuvenating to do.

Thank you for reading this and I can’t wait to see what you think 🌈😊

You got…Ratchet + Deathsaurus!

[With TFP Ratchet] You are his serenity. In a place so full of chaos, new surprises and extravagance there is at least one person that he can rely on being the same. The Constance that keeps him from blowing a fuse. Of course, you didn't need anyone to care for you, so were didn't exactly have a charge until Ratchet offered. It was helpful to have someone specific to rely on, but neither of you often left the base. He appreciates your kindness. Maybe you aren't the most level-headed person around- but you have an understanding most lack. That's where you two get along. Never had to lecture you; in fact, YOU have lectured HIM once. It was a very extreme circumstance that now was nothing more than a chance to laugh. He plays gramps for the bots, and you play grandparent for the kids. When Miko needed a new guardian to live with, you were the one who took her up on the offer. Overall, two good friends that suck at combat but keep this place running.

~~~~~~~~~

[With MTMTE Deathsaurus] You would thrive on his ship, and I mean THRIVE. A lone human lost to space, they picked you up because Deathsaurus believed that anyone could join the crew, so long as they didn't hurt anyone. Not only did you not cause problems, but you ended up becoming the center of attention for many groups. Curiosity about the earth, humans, what a life without war looked like, your compassion and your talents. You introduced sea shanties to them; now, they sing war songs and alternated shanties together to lift up the mood, all with you leading them. Deathsaurus appreciates your leadership and open-mindedness that came with bonding to a group of mechs who could cause you all kinds of danger; you quickly became friends simply due to your care for the crew. Jokingly earned the title co-captain on the ship. Though it kind of checks out now.

———-

Authors Note - Ugh this was so much fun, you really inspired me on this one haha thank you! I had to stop myself from writing you a whole story with Deathsaures especially.

[indyflanery]

Fallen AU Best Lines Pt1

@halfoceanhalfsky

Rafael ignored the comment about his wings. Indy would know soon enough, he guessed; no need to spoil this reunion moment. "We are all called to different places. I would guess any place I am is a 'me' place. Those back roads and tucked away towns weren't necessarily me, they were just where you saw me most. I seem to remember big cities with you, Venice among them..." His mind wandered off a little but he still clung to Indy. "Did you know....they have a Venice here? Not the same, I know, but it is rather amazing...they have everything."

"Yeah, they spared no expense," Indy said, pulling away slightly to look at Rafael. He looked off; Indy could see it in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good now that you're here." He leaned in and kissed Indy, softly as if to affirm that fact, and then buried his face back against his neck.

____

"This isn't you at all. Not the you I know, anyway. You need to tell me what happened...Please?" Indy brushed his thumbs over Rafael's cheeks.

Rafael brought up one hand to rest over Indy's, fingers curling around Indy's wrist. "This is who I am now. I told you what happened. I am no longer in my Father's grace." His eyes opened fully and he looked into Indy's. "This is me, just without those moral filters."

The full weight of the statement hit him hard when Rafael looked at him. The pain in his eyes was stark and Indy couldn't see that something extra that he'd always attributed to Rafael being what he was. "You aren't an angel anymore, are you?" he whispered.

____

Oh, he was absolutely going to get in trouble. Probably more than he already was because he had a very strong feeling he was somewhat responsible, if not directly so, for Rafael's current state of being. "These are those perks you've been talking about?" he murmured when they broke for a breath. "Because we've definitely done this before."

Rafael shifted to his knees, rising up, and guiding Indy's hand over the front of his pants. "That's different, isn't it?" He looked down at Indy with a crooked smile, settling back down, but this time half into Indy's lap with one leg wrapped around him.

____

"The champagne...other things...they don't last long in my system. I guess I'm only human to a point." He pressed his chest to Indy's. "This is all me, whatever hybrid I am of the two, not belonging in either world."

That sounded incredibly sad and he tightened his arms around Rafael. "Do you really need the 'other things'?" he asked softly.

His hand smoothed through Indy's hair. "I need you."

____

Rafael moaned with the touch to his hair, curving [his body] against Indy. "We won't have to stop," he whispered. "I know you don't like when we have to stop."

"I don't, but I do because you asked me to be okay with it," he whispered back. "You're more important to me than sex."

"You've been...so patient...so understanding." He touched Indy's face, the hand that had been at his back coming to clutch at his side. "I loved you from the first moment I saw you, do you know that?"

Indy felt his heart flip and drop at the same time. He had a feeling Rafael didn't mean in the compassionate way he had been given to acting with humanity. And because of that, the fear was still in the back of his mind that everything was his fault. He cupped the angel's jaw. "I thought you weren't allowed to love like that."

"Still happens...did happen. One of my siblings seems to think that small bits of us were needed for the creation of man, and on the rare occasion there is a concentration of our own essence in a solitary human, those are the ones we are drawn to. I think the theory is a story in absence of knowing what it really is." He swallowed and placed his hand over Indy's heart. "For each of us, that drawing expresses differently, but mine is love."

____

"Fate..." He touched Indy's hair, rubbing a lock of it between two fingers. "Is it fate you are here now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I came because you asked me to."

____

Indy smiled at Rafael, brushing their noses together. "You should know something," he whispered, pressing soft kisses to the angel's cheeks, eyes, and lips.

Rafael closed his eyes with the soft affections, opening them as Indy spoke, his long lashes rising slowly. "What's that?" he replied softly.

"It's not something I'm good with saying, but..." He swallowed and paused. Even if Rafael was not welcomed in whatever equated to heaven, Indy would keep him. And even if the angel lost himself in whatever vices he could to dull the pain, Indy would still help him find his way back. "I love you. So much. Even when I knew we shouldn't have, I couldn't help it. I still can't." He let his fingers play over warm skin as he kept eye contact. "I feel like your siblings were right. A part of me has always felt like I was coming home when I am with you."

He placed his hand open-palmed at Indy's cheek, his thumb brushing along his bottom lip. "I keep my promises...you will never be alone."

____

The angel had always had a beautiful voice, Indy had listened to him sing many times, but to hear him cry out in pleasure...That was a whole different story. Indy barely hesitated in his nod, lips finding Rafael's shoulder as he leaned back just enough to let him get both hands between them.

____

He felt a subtle jerk as their hands moved over Indy. He knew from his own exploration it would become more pronounced as they continued and he made a soft noise with the memory of how that had felt. "Are you?" he asked, lifting his eyes from the physical display to look at Indy's own. "With someone?"

Indy liked Rafael's noise in response to the way his body reacted, glad he was enjoying the bold spur of the moment decision on Indy's part. He tightened their holds slightly and started to move into a proper rhythm, making his breath hitch. "I'm with you. It's always been you from the second I saw you again on that stage playing for a backwater dive bar."

"For that long?" he asked, his free hand curling beneath Indy's thigh, as his other hand moved in tandem with Indy's, working to pleasure the length of him. He could feel a knot growing beneath his stomach, a tight fist of tension and need.

His breathing had deepened as they worked him, and the hand curling around his leg was a hot point of contact that made him tremble slightly. "For that long," he echoed simply, letting the angel see in his eyes how much he'd been in love with him.

____

Rafael was going to ruin him no matter what he said to the contrary. Indy's eyes slipped closed with the touch that made his sensitive muscles jump slightly. "Was that your plan? Go through the entire Kama Sutra?" he asked softly.

"You tell me. I'm following your lead on this...I am a fast learner though, especially through practice." He leaned in, nudging his nose against Indy's cheek before turning his lips to kiss him.

____

His breaths came slowly as Indy's eyes took him in, his words soft and mesmerizing. Even when he said the word 'fuck', it sounded like poetry. "There are sides I've never shown you, sides that might scare you or repulse you. Right now, I choose to be soft and vulnerable. No matter what side I show, you need to know I choose to be by you, willingly, despite any higher purpose or condition, maybe even because of it."

____

"Is this fucking? The rubbing? It's not how a man and woman fuck." He blinked shyly at Indy but kept a steady gaze. "Can we fuck?"

"Jesus Christ," he groaned, avoiding Rafael's eyes. Putting his own curse aside, he'd never heard the angel utter the word before or even anything that frequently. "I know you have a lot of questions to ask and are curious, but you definitely have no right to be appealing while you do it." The corner of his mouth was turned upwards in a half smirk to show the angel he was not mad at him.

____

Indy tightened his hold on Rafael, squeezed his hand, and kissed his shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, I like the other stuff too. But I don't think I could get tired of just laying here with you. Everything seems...simpler in a way."

"Simpler?" Rafael asked.

He just kept putting his foot in his mouth didn't he? "There's no rest of the world," he elaborated. "It's just us."

____

Maybe it was just Rafael himself, but when they repositioned, he [Indy] settled easier into sleep. The familiar weight around him was a comfort.

It felt good to lay like this, like he [Rafael] could still be the protector and keep Indy safe from everything and everyone. He wasn't sure that was the case any more; he still had yet to test the limits of that. But this felt like anything was possible.

____

"Am I still good, really?" He rolled more into a half straddle of Indy's leg, eyes burning through him in an intent stare. There was no intimidation or anger in his voice.

Indy swallowed audibly with the press of Rafael against him. He could feel the hard length of the angel's cock pressing against his thigh and it was more of a turn on to be pinned than he thought it would be. Even losing his celestial...essence or whatever it was...Rafael's gaze was still otherworldly. "I think you're hurting," he replied carefully, "And you don't know what to do about it. Or what to expect." He touched the angel's side to try to reassure him. "But I don't think just because of whatever happened it makes you not good."

He was probably right, able to see through to the heart of it. He was hurting and that was not something he experienced as an archangel. "So what do I do about it? How do I make that stop?"

He smiled sadly. "I wish I had an answer to that. We can find out though."

"You'd do that?" he asked as he pressed against Indy.

Indy pulled Rafael closer. "Been telling you the past few hours I'm not leaving you alone."

____

"None of that matters now." He lowered his voice, pushing back his hair that had fallen into his face. He smiled down at Indy. "We can have both the physical and the attachment."

Indy chuckled, reaching up to play with a stray curl that came free from Rafael's effort in pushing his hair aside. "Or just an attachment and everything that comes with it."

"We're too late. An attachment happened a while ago." His smile widened. "This is the everything that comes with it."

____

"As long as you aren't scared off." He laughed quietly. "Never know, sex with an angel, even a fallen one might open some sacred seal or something," he teased.

Indy stilled immediately as he went to pull his fingers free so he could add a third. "Is...Is that a possibility?" he asked.

Rafael smiled over his shoulder. "Don't worry, you're safe. Lightning won't strike you or anything."

He blushed when he realized Rafael was teasing him. Narrowing his eyes, even though the corner of his mouth turned upwards, he slid three fingers into the angel and aimed right for his prostate. "Be nice."

Rafael gasped, rolling his hips away from the touch and then back into it. "I am nice...most of the time." He laughed lightly.

____

"I've never been under the illusion that there isn't a violent side to you. I did my reading way before we even met. But like you said, you chose to show me the compassionate side first which says everything I need to know." He reached out to find Rafael's hand so he could lace their fingers together. "Remember I thought you were a serial killer when we met?" he teased. "You've never given me a reason to actually believe it."

When Indy laced their fingers together, he grounded himself in that physical touch. "Come to think of it, we probably do give off that sort of vibe at times. It's a similar energy. I have siblings that channel that side more easily." He sighed out. "That compassionate side has gotten me in a fair amount of trouble at times. I suppose we wouldn't be here now if it didn't."

Indy pressed his cheek to Rafael's back and closed his eyes. "Your compassionate side is one of the best parts about you," he reassured.

"What if that is gone now?" he asked quietly. The closeness of Indy as he pressed his cheek to his back comforted him.

"The fact that you're worried about it says it's not," came his reply before he shifted to lay on his side and pulled Rafael into him to hold him close. "Whatever dark side you have to you, it doesn't overshadow the lighter part. And it wouldn't make me love you any less."

He curled back into Indy as he shifted. "You are so confident in that."

"I may not know every side of you, but I know enough." He pressed his lips to the nape of Rafael's neck.

____

"With no hope of heaven, what is to keep one good?" he replied flatly. He tossed the shriveling fruit aside and squared up his shoulders. He shifted to his knees beside Indy. "Maybe I'm just clinging to shreds of how I used to be. Maybe that is holding me back from reaching my true form."

"It's a very human feeling isn't it?" he replied, cocking his head to look up at Rafael with the slight height advantage he now had over Indy. Now he was feeling uneasy with the way the angel was talking. "'True form'?" he echoed.

"The hopelessness?" he asked as he placed a hand on Indy's shoulder before swinging his leg over Indy's lap in a straddle. "Or desire?" He refrained from lowering his weight into Indy's lap, but his semi-erect cock touched against his stomach. "True form would be giving over to that darker side, letting the restraint give way to desire."

____

"You're mine," he answered, the hand not holding Rafael's thigh around him finding one of his and lacing their fingers together with a tight squeeze. "I'm yours. I'll always be yours."

"As you always have been," he affirmed, squeezing back as Indy laced their fingers. He caught Indy's low huffs of breath with a kiss.

____

Rafael laughed softly. "You didn't think I randomly dropped in on humans regularly, did you?"

"You might have. I don't know what you got up to when you weren't around. Or before we met," he replied with a grin.

"I guess not...it wasn't the usual...how much I would run into you. I was drawn to you...even then."

"Because I was this missing piece of your soul?" he teased. Although, despite his playful tone of voice, the thought was quite romantic. Especially when considering the way Rafael had explained his siblings' views on why they could be drawn to certain parts of humanity.

"Something like that." He smiled up at Indy, tightening the hold with his wrapped leg to urge Indy closer. "You're mine now."

____

"What I want is to feel things...do things...all the human things." He frowned just slightly at the thought of talking about what happened, but he quickly replaced it with a smile. "They call this Sin City, right? Do you want to sin with me?" he asked almost innocently.

Indy stared at Rafael like he was speaking a language he didn't understand, which would have been a feat in and of itself. "Umm....I don't know if you and I have the same definition of sinning. How about we take it one day at a time?"

____

Indy was studying the very fancy walk in shower with one part appreciation, one part awe. He definitely wasn't accustomed to this kind of set up and reflected for a moment on how this place did indeed cater to excess. Half in, half out of the cubicle, he glanced over his shoulder at the angel. "There was always that line we weren't going to cross...How do you work this thing?"

He pointed to a panel on the outside of the shower. "From that, you can turn it on and control the temperature. It does other things too like control lights and music and temperature. I think you can order room service through it too. I'm not sure what all it does."

Indy blinked and looked between the shower and Rafael. "Holy shit. That's insane. I think you're going to be the one to show me how something high tech works for once."

Rafael laughed. "I just push buttons and talk to it until something comes on. Humans make things so complicated when they don't need to be. Bathing in the river worked well enough for a long time." He pressed the picture of a water drop several times. "You are more tech savvy than I am, I'm pretty sure."

____

"[My voice] Still works magic on you, huh?" He smiled at Indy. "Maybe I'm still your angel even after falling....I just hope I haven't dragged you down with me."

____

Rafael dropped to his knees. "I want you to...but it feels selfish." He captured Indy's hand in his lap between his own. "I want to protect you, even if that means from me."

____

He was glad he at least made Rafael smile since he wasn't sure what kind of reaction his statement would earn. "A little, but more for the fact that I never saw them [your wings]," Indy replied, watching the way the washcloth moved over a shoulder blade. "I expected, I don't know, marks or something where they might have been," he mused further before glancing sideways at Rafael. "How would they deactivate? Like you have them but they're not functional? Just extra appendages that make you look like a big bird if I could see them?" He grinned with his questioning, trying to keep it light even though he was very curious, and always had been, about the celestial differences between them.

____

"They are the forgotten ones," he replied hollowly. He knew of fallen angels, had even visited them in his time, but this was different, archangels didn't fall. "They usually fall in with demons or worse, a few still live as if they haven't lost their grace. Those usually go insane. Your human world is not the kindest of places." He pressed his hand to Indy's chest. "Archangels falling is not a common occurrence."

____

His fingers of his free hand tangled in the damp hairs at Indy's neck. "You won't forget me?"

Indy scoffed. "Impossible. I think the more realistic question is, you won't forget me?"

"How could I? I may have lost a lot, but my memory doesn't seem to be part of that. If anything, I will be cursed by my memories for years to come."

____

"I'm truthful," he murmured, lips turning up as Rafael's cock twitched against his own. Indy caressed Rafael's chest worshipfully, paying attention to a nipple with his lips and a sigh. The water of the shower's spray tasted good on the angel's skin and he moaned softly, continuing to kiss and suckle while gripping his lover's backside firmly, kneading and squeezing with complete devotion. "And the truth is you'll always be beautiful to me and I'll always want you."

____

The uncontrolled nature of Indy's kiss was welcomed. From their very first kiss they had been so controlled and contained, Indy respecting the unspoken boundaries. But now those boundaries had fallen away and he was a quaking needy mess, wanting to be taken and claimed again.

____

"But are they [former lovers] still in love with you?" He liked the way Indy's arm felt around his waist and how close they were like this.

"I don't know," he replied with a frown. "I hadn't really thought about it." He shrugged. "I imagine not. Why?"

"I just can't imagine not loving you."

____

Rafael laughed softly. "I love you as one of my father's own, but I love you more than that...You are special; you always have been."

Indy smiled, brushing his thumb over Rafael's cheek. "I don't know about that. I'm just...me. But if you think so, then that's something."

He kissed Indy, leaning his weight against him. "You're something....and you're mine." The edge of possessiveness was something didn't matter in this fallen form, maybe it was even expected.

____

Rafael grabbed a towel and placed it around Indy's shoulders. "You weren't a temptation." He nudged against Indy's cheek. "You are so much more than that."

"Was I? And what am I then? I'm your soulmate? How is it fair that you get punished in the end because you did something I asked you to?" His voice went a bit hysterical as he got worked up over the whole thing. "That you love me and you say we're fated...it implies inevitable...It's inevitable that you suffer because you love me more?" His clenched fists landed on Rafael's shoulders and one thumped against him pointedly. "It's cruel...It's wrong...I don't..." His breathing hitched as he tried to get himself under control before he let out miserably, "I don't understand it."

His hand slowly closed around Indy's fist. "It isn't fair," he said softly, breathing out and positioning himself closer to Indy. "I don't really understand it either...but does it matter? If we're together?"

____

"There is light drapery to keep the sun off, and I suppose humans like to lay about in the open air. It's been that way for as long as I can remember. Air conditioning is a rather new human invention."

He hummed. "If it's cool enough, that does sound nice...how close is the next balcony?"

"Several floors below; this penthouse is laid out for privacy." A smile broke his face. "Why? Do you plan on being loud?"

His mouth dropped open and he sputtered, still unused to Rafael being so suggestive. "I had the strong impression that you weren't going to allow me to put on clothes and wasn't planning on being an exhibitionist...Don't distract me with ideas."

____

His arms wrapped around Indy's waist, settling at the dip of his back. "You'd follow me anywhere, huh?" he asked teasingly as he leaned in to kiss him.

Indy smiled, draping his arms over Rafael's shoulders, allowing the kiss. "You are a hard act to follow."

"Are you...flirting?" He grinned.

He chuckled softly before giving Rafael another kiss. "Partially flirting but mostly being honest." His fingers carded through damp curls thoughtfully. "How can another human compare to an angel? And even then, how can anyone compare to you?"

____

"It is possible some of us [angels] were never meant to be warriors in the first place, while for others it is their nature. You'd be surprised if you saw that side of me, I think." He leaned into Indy. "There is a difference between tending and caring, and caring so deeply."

____

He looked up at Indy as he held his face, feeling very small in that moment. "I know that life is suffering, but if I can spare you even a sliver of that I will."

Indy smiled sadly at Rafael, brushing his thumb over his cheek. "You're always going to be that angel who cares, even if you don't think you are."

____

"Thanks for depressing me," Indy replied sarcastically. Sighing heavily, he tried to collect his thoughts. "There's nothing that can be done, is there? You're stuck here and there's no way someone so loyal and caring could actually be forgiven?" He scowled. "Scratch the depression. I'm incredibly angry on your behalf."

"I don't know the protocol. This doesn't happen very often." He skimmed his hand over Indy's face.

____

"Michael tends to think in black and white. There isn't a grey area for him." Rafael's eyes softened. "He's become much more cynical lately as well. After the Crusades, I saw a real shift in him."

Indy blinked. He always had so many questions when Rafael mentioned things like that. "Well, two centuries of warfare would do it," he replied flatly. "I'll take it he doesn't appreciate you caring like you do."

____

He smiled at Indy, his eyes flickering over his body before staring deeply into his eyes. "You're going to feel so good, aren't you?"

"You're going to have to tell me, aren't you?" he countered with his own smile. Tightening his grip, Indy lined up and sank down onto Rafael.

____

"I trust you. Trust me," he urged gently, nuzzling into the touch and kissing Rafael's palm. His nervous, still a bit of a virgin, angel...Indy kissed the angel's jaw, trailing affection down his neck and chest. "Whatever has happened, whatever you are now, I know you won't hurt me."

"Be careful with that trust," he said softly, feeling a glowing warmth in his heart. He turned his head to capture Indy's lips, wrapping his arms around him to urge him closer.

____

The only reason he was loud was because he had been assured of their privacy, but if his voice happened to carry at least no one would know it was him. The jerk against him that the angel gave had him letting out a pleased rumble that echoed in his chest as he looked up at Rafael. Watching him fuck him was intense and Indy was yet again struck by how beautiful he was. With flushed skin from cheeks to chest, long sweat-dampened curls bouncing around his face and lean corded muscles flexing with the effort of keeping Indy aloft as he thrust, his angel was so beautiful that Indy felt a fierce rush of emotion. Love, lust, and adoration mixed together, waring with possessiveness. Indy was Rafael's and Rafael was Indy's, and he wouldn't accept anything different.

____

He hummed, melting against the angel and rocking on him. "Exactly." He returned the affection by kissing softly at the base of Rafael's neck. "You're so hard still..." he whispered. "How? I know you said you can control it, but you haven't even come once yet. When I was, you know, fucking you, you came both times. Easily."

"Control," he whispered against Indy's shoulder with just a hint of growl. "I'll come when I'm done fucking you."

____

"I promise." He kissed along Indy's neck. "Nothing will keep away from you. I won't let it."

He ducked his head to shift Rafael's attentions from his neck. He cupped the angel's face in his hands and stilled on top of him, watching him close. "I'm yours. For the rest of my life," he promised back, brushing his thumbs over Rafael's cheeks.

He looked into Indy's eyes as the other held his face, his hands settling in the curve of Indy's waist, fingertips smoothing along his spine. "That's not long enough," he said with a sober seriousness.

Indy felt his heart break just a little more. As much as he wanted to promise forever, he knew he couldn't, not to someone who it applied to literally. "I know," he murmured, pressing their foreheads together. "I wish it could be for longer. If I knew what came after this, maybe I could promise," he said, trying to tease the angel into giving up some knowledge he probably couldn't before sobering. "I'm sorry I can't promise you more. You have no idea how much I wish I could."

Rafael rubbed his forehead against Indy's, closing his eyes.'You are nothing more than dust, and I'm nothing more than light.' It was what he wanted to say but knew it would hurt the human more than help, and it was oversimplified. "Just promise me now, this moment, and moments that follow."

He could feel his angel's sadness and he leaned into Rafael, swallowing as he tried not to cry for him. "I'm pretty sure I already did," he settled on, smiling a bit sadly.

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Ok. For you, my dear @eames-with-a-rose I will come here TODAY of all the days to try to explain this particular picture that hunts Tumblr every April 1st.

First, origins. This is from know your meme.

Please take note of this year and particular month, Comic Con 2009 was from July 23 to July 26.

This is the "official" Misha first impression about the Mishapocalypse.

And what happened to Misha around the time this picture was taken? The following interview was one of the first recollections that Misha told about the bike accident:

Misha Collins Interview - Comic Con Press Room 2009

Written by Alice Jester

Category: Interviews

Created: 27 July 2009

Our roundtable time with Misha Collins was the least, only about four minutes. Still, we got some great sound bites regarding his recent nasty bicycle accident, being pranked in season five by Jared, and how Castiel has taken up crochet. And is learning how to ride a bicycle. As usual, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

Misha gingerly worked his way over to our table, and we could tell he was in some pain. We all asked how he was. “Terrible, how are you?” Of course he was joking, but in a way he really meant it.

Why are you terrible?

MC: Well, I’ve been in the hospital. I crashed on my bicycle going about 55 mph. 

(Something about it being stupid muttered in the background).

MC: You’re right, thank you, I haven’t gotten that reaction yet. “You are stupid.”

Were you wearing a helmet?

MC: I was. Still, crashing going 55 mph is stupid, in my opinion.

Only if you did it on purpose.

MC: No, I didn’t do it on purpose.

Are you a little banged up?

MC: I’m a little banged up. I just tore some muscles and I’m missing a lot of skin. My shirts are sticking to my scabs. Other than that…

So you’re being a method actor since Castiel was basically destroyed at the end of last season.

MC:  Exactly, I wanted to know what that felt like.

Source:

I copied this “interview” from a known Bibro site. To show a recollection of a “neutral” source about Misha's health. Meaning, these aren't the ones that will exaggerate or take an overwhelming compassionate take about this incident and current state ON THE DAY THE INFAMOUS PICTURE WAS TAKEN. As you can read in the last question, they practically dismissed the accident.

Now, let's hear the recollection of this story from him several years later. Please go from the fresh fish story until the end, the last part of the bike crash.

I'm sure numerous hard core Misha fans will know about this story. He told it on many panels, in different kinds of focus of the story. Occasionally, he tells it like a joke and the classic IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME, Misha moment. In others, he tells this story about why he wants a tattoo of a sockeye Salmon.

I choose this particular one because even 6 years later, you can tell how emotional he feels about watching his best friend covered in blood.

I prefer, first, to put on the table these two facts for context. And any person beyond his fan base can put themselves in his place, of why Misha wouldn't like this picture. That may remain him of a dark moment when he believed HE could have died or, worse for him, lost his best friend. Because I don't have a link, or a filmed explanation of why Misha had said didn't like this particular picture to be part of the Mishapocalypse.

But many of us read a post about a Meet and Greet, that I can’t find right now, when one of the attendees asked Misha about this picture, the following year, when the Mishapocalypse was a “success” on tumblr. She basically asked him what he was thinking to make that “particular face” that now was being multiplied over tumblr and had expanded over other SM.

For what I recall, he explained kind of seriously and kind of as a joke. That that was his pain face, at the time he was heavily medicated because the accident occurred early in that month. Because he HAD TO ASSIST TO COMIC CON, a date saved in advance, a work thing he MUST assist. (This kind of reminds me of that time the CW didn't let him assist to his daughter's birth because they were filming. Now you know Why I have the nasty feelings for the WB and CW people). Moreover, because it was a memory of one of the worst days of his life, when he thought he was going to die, and how because of some stupid competitive moment he could have lost his best friend.

As much as we know about Misha (or think we think we know). I mean, what I can infer about the past 6 years of watching his panels, interviews and reading his books. I have a grasp of how Misha uses self—deprecated humor, makes jokes about heavy personal issues and events in his life, and tends to get in serious trouble, but stills makes jokes and dismiss those events, once time and trauma had passed by. I tend to do the same, better laugh about your horrible experiences as a way to feel you completely overcome them. Than keep being a victim of their consequences by let those memories hunt you by giving them a solemn importantce.

Currently, I can only hope this picture flooded Tumblr just for today. Because I know that making an issue about it, or asking publicly for people to not use it, is sometimes to ask for the trolls to come out from their caves and do it twice as much.

I'm sorry I couldn't post this earlier, but I was busy and tend to skip this day on Tumblr to avoid the controversial image, that I, personally, dislike ever since I learn its origin and what Misha feels about it. Even now, ten years later, I can speculate Misha forgot about it. Probably it's just a past joke for him, either way it can reach him through Twitter or Instagram where he is more active, and some "fans" decided to migrate this tumblr thing beyond.

Still, for the little I can consider myself as a Misha connoisseur, or just a fan, I think he isn't the kind of person that will make a big fuss about these things, even if it can still affect him. Albeit, little we can really know or understand about the real meaning or trauma this simple image can carry for him.

In the end, the thing, it's out there. The Mishapocalypse is still a THING, apparently. And like I said, trying for people on the Internet to do or not to do anything, sometimes brings the opposite effect and spawns large debates I don’t have the energy or time to participate in.

I can offer alternatives images as usual…

I must confess, I participated in the 5th Mishapocalypse before knowing the origin of the image. Since then, I tried to make alternative takes on this day, like celebrating the wonderful human being Misha is by posting facts about his life and good deeds. But this year I decided to be away for this ¿"celebration"? Because this blog is a 24/7 tribute to him and to Castiel, now his new project Harvey Dent. So, you see, for me, every day is a Mishapocalypse, where I can post nicer and least traumatic images of The Hot Overlord, now the Zaddy Dent.

@eames-with-a-rose ♥

P.S.: @shedontlovehuhself I know you have a Bible size of evidence of Misha “embracing” this picture. That's nice. But I hope you didn't know about this little trivia of the context of this particular image. Because I know, you have an answer to everything and first-hand information about what Misha Collins Thinks and wants. Please go on your merry way and do as you please on your blog. But kindly stop berating my posts with your editorial corrections.

When did misha say he didn’t like this image?

@magnificent-winged-beast im trying to find posts, but barely, it was 2019 and before, Raven do u have links, please help?

[books--andt]

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas Review!

Hey Bookies!

The Hate U Give is an important book. It deals with REAL events that have happened in the past, are happening today, and will sadly, most likely continue to happen in the future.

It follows Starr Carter, a sixteen year old black girl who lives in a poor black neighbourhood but attends a higher class private school mostly populated by white people.

Starr is at a party in her neighbourhood when she runs into her long-time childhood friend, Kahlil. Her and Kahlil reconnect and drive off once the party gets violent and rowdy. As they are driving home, a white policeman pulls them over. After asking Kahlil to exit the car, he shoots Kahlil. Starr is the sole witness and knows the true story; Kahlil was unarmed; Kahlil was non-violent; Kahlil was murdered. But Starr has a weapon--her voice. It her choice to decided if she is to indeed use it.

The synopsis of this book dragged me right in. Not only that, but that fact that is is being transformed into a movie with Amanda Sternberg playing Starr had me running RIGHT in. I can't wait!!

I really appreciate the choices Angie Thomas made with this book. I read in an interview that she calls this an "unapologetic black girl story" and it certainly is just that. There are no restraints to the realism in this story, or the emotions that Starr is facing. It's important to not have limits when discussing a topic that is serious, or one that you are passionate about. I commend Angie Thomas for doing so.

While I had a difficult time relating to this story, being that I am white, and haven't been in the same scenarios that Starr has been in, not just with the murder of her friend but also with living in her neighbourhood and attending a fancy-ass school. I did however relate to the family relationships. I LOVE books that have strong, compassionate, relationships between families and friends. I loved how supportive her mother was, and how in love her parents were. I loved how her family has each others backs, and this is something I really related to as my family is the same.

If you are teetering between reading THUG or not I recommend you do. It's insightful, heartbreaking, and hopeful all at the same time. Perhaps it will inspire you to speak up for what you believe in. I know it inspired me.

***SPOILER thoughts below!***

Another choice I really enjoyed Angie made was the fact that Starr's uncle Carlos is a cop. It would be easy for Starr to get angry, and blame every cop, and assume that they are all racist and bad people. But because her uncle was a cop, it made her stop and think, maybe they aren't all bad. She trusts her uncle, she loves her uncle, and this gives her hope. I also really liked Chris as a character. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't imagining him as Nick Robinson ;) I liked how he accepted Starr for who she was--who she truly was. He could joke with her, and he stood by her in all the hardships she faced. When she wanted to have sex with him and he stopped her because he said she wasn't feeling right... Points for being a good boyfriend/human being! I also think that him being white and doing these things were intentional. Especially since Starr looses her friend Hailey, who is white. Chris shows her that she isn't betraying her blackness by being with him, and that he can care just as much as any other person.

I also appreciate the ending because it is REAL. This story and the way it was told has the reader RILED UP and wanting that police officer thrown in jail for murder. But it doesn't happen. He isn't convicted and it makes you mad! It shows the reality; how a horrific event like this can effect not just one person, but communities, and families, and the world! It shows that even if you stand up for what you believe in, things may not always go your way. But that doesn't mean you stop fighting. You rebuild. And you fight. Over and over.

This story was sad. But it didn't really hit me until the end of this book. Starr and her family are at their dads burnt down store, helping clean up and Starr is thinking about how it would be easy to quit fighting for a better ending if this situation only involved her and Kahlil and the cop. But it doesn't. And she names her brothers, Seven and Sekani, her friends, Kenya and Devante. And she proceeds to list the names of REAL black people who have been shot by policemen. This is where the hurt started for me. Because this is where the fictional parts of the book struck with reality. The first name Starr lists is Oscar, and I apologize for not remembering his last name, but I read an interview with Angie and she said that the death of Oscar, killed by a white police officer, is what first inspired her to write this book. The list continues and I even recognize some names like Trayvon Martin. At the end of the list she says it's messed up that there are even more, and it truly is. Way to throw a punch at the end of a book and make you think/reflect.

Like I said, I've never read anything like THUG before. I'm not much for a rap music person, so I didn't even know that Tupac had given THUG it's acronym. Heck, I didn't even know it had an acronym! Haha! But life is about learning, and I've always been interested in other peoples outlooks on life, and learning about different cultures and communities. I'll definitely read more books by Angie Thomas!

4/5 stars. Thoughts on this book??? ALSO what should I read next?? My heart has been torn about recently, first by ACOWAR and now THUG... I think I need to read something more happy and... fluffy haha.

Thanks for reading!

- T