#these qs are making me soft

[ladystoneboobs]

@sunflowersansa, #catelyn was raised to be hosters successor for almost a decade wasnt she?

the annoying thing is we don't have an approximate age for edmure, nor any age for cat when minisa died (in childbirth with a last, stillborn son, not edmure). i've seen fanart depicting him as anywhere from a toddler to a younger teen/tween when catelyn and lysa were teenagers. but i feel pretty confident in my estimation of ~7/8yrs age difference between eldest sister and baby brother, and not just bc of symmetry with the next generation. my reasoning is thus:

we all assume catelyn had some grooming as an heiress, rather than it just being a nominal status in early childhood. how much training can one really give a 3 or 4yo, y'know? we know rickon never had any manly lord lessons from ned since he was still so young when they parted. if she was closer to 7 or 8 when edmure came along, that leaves more realistic time for education, and a sizable number of years with only daughters for hoster to try to accustom himself to lack of a son and make do accordingly. even only 1 or 2 years of rulership lessons would still matter when minisa's death left hoster more dependent on her as not just hostess but later a trusted confidant of a sort until she got married.

ned thinks of edmure as "the boy" in his pov when hearing of the mountain's first attacks in the riverlands. we know ned's not great with keeping up with ageing from his earlier comments about tommen, and he surely hasn't seen edmure in many years, but this tells me that when they did meet at riverrun, edmure was not that close in age to himself, catelyn, and lysa. (i think it's less likely to see someone as frozen in childhood if they're anywhere near your age cohort.) ned could still be wrong about edmure's age thinking he couldn't possibly be at least 25 and any green knight younger than that was still a boy or youth, but that miscalculation makes more sense to me if he was around ~26 rather than a fellow thirtysomething or a guy pushing thirty.

we also know that edmure acted as brandon's squire in his duel with littlefinger, which i read as more someone playacting at some squirely practice when not yet consideed old enough to be anyone's assigned squire, with the informal nature of the duel which meant lightly-armored littlefinger having no squire of his own, and brandon having an actual squire who likely could have been present. so that lines up with a ~10yo edmure to 15yo littlefinger, 16yo lysa, 18yo catelyn, and 20yo brandon. (this is admittedly the most subjective point and i wouldn't consider it strong evidence if not consistent with the rest.)

catelyn doubted her memories of her mother, including her appearence, which in this world strangely devoid of portraits, still makes me think she was quite young when they lost her. so, yeah, not a large gap between edmure's birth and minisa's death in her next childbirth. if catelyn was 8/9 or even 10 when her mother died and she became de facto lady of riverrun, that could line up with the lannister twins losing their mother at 7 and not having strong memories of joanna.

idt catelyn really did think of riverrun as her birthright when her brief time as conscious heiress was a small fraction of her life, with at least 6yrs knowing she'd move away to be lady (consort) of winterfell instead and the rest of her life living out that responsibility as northern wife and mother. but it must still sting to be used to such a position of importance in her earlier time in riverrun and have no real authority when she returned to live there again as an adult, especially when edmure still seemed to act (to her) like the baby of the family not entirely matured into the authority he held all for himself. there's a part in her time in renly's camp when she thought robb was years younger but still knew what he was doing more than the southern king and his knights of summer playing at war. i'd imagine a simaliar feeling whenever edmure annoyed her. that's another difference between robb and edmure, that robb was a dutiful eldest sibling like his mother, formerly catelyn's baby but never anyone's baby brother. while edmure, even if he was (my by headcanon) a few years older than renly and unlike renly was meant to be a male heir from birth, was still a youngest child of 3 like renly.

[toxicanonymity]

i need more raider joel more than i need air in my lungs

Night air.

3500 words, raider!Joel x f!reader | ✨gif

Raider master list ⭐ Joel master

reader-curated playlist | sweet pea (smut songs)

“‘s’too cold out here, sweet pea. put on a shirt, would ya?" Your heart flutters at the implicit invitation and you return with a flannel over your nightie. . . He makes room for you, but doesn’t take his eyes off the fire as he lets you climb into his lap. You study his face and see something new flickering behind it. Worry.

You want to ask him what’s wrong, but you don’t.  "When are you gonna come to bed?” you ask instead.

SUMMARY: Joel brutalizes a bad guy, gives it to you hard, then works on something for you and gives it to you slow. His POV is revealing. WARNINGS: I8+, POV alternates, ANGST, Joel's trauma, overkill violence, dubcon (stockholm syndrome) unsafe P in V x2 (hard then soft), dark fluff, f masturbation, somnophilia, staying inside, NO Y/N. A/N: ty @milla-frenchy for Qs & recs 🖤

—--- JOEL——

Yeah, Joel killed two of his own men, and they had it coming.  He caught them red handed on their way into your room in the stash house. It still makes his blood boil to think about. If they hadn’t walked into that room talking about you like a piece of meat, those two men would be alive. Joel would do it again in a heartbeat.  

He’s not surprised when the others are shaken, but if they’re good men, they have nothing to worry about.  When things remain tense longer than he expects, Joel rounds them up for a group meeting. He puts you in the usual room with his trusted guard Carter posted at the door.  The meeting becomes heated. 

“No one’s gonna be left at this rate,” one man barks.  “They ain’t gonna say it,” he gestures behind him to the other men, “but I will. She shouldn’t be here.” 

Joel’s voice raises with his blood pressure. He asks, “What’d you say to me, Harold?" as he stands up. 

Louder, maybe loud enough for you to hear, Harold repeats, “She shouldn’t be here.  It’s bound to happen.” Bound to happen? These low-lifes are bound to put their hands on Joel Miller’s girl? Joel can feel the beat of his rage in his veins. All his muscles tense. 

He takes a deep breath, exhales sharply, then says matter-of-factly, “I’ll show ya what else is bound to happen.” 

Joel picks up his rifle. 

"Yeah, kill me," Harold chides. "Kill us all."

Joel shakes his head no. His voice is deep and flat.  "Not until ya beg me to." Now he’s gotta make an example out of someone. 

Joel forces Harold outside, then puts his rifle behind his back and lets Harold take a swing at him, just for fun.  When Joel gets this wound up, he needs to feel something. After getting clocked square in the jaw, Joel beats him until he’s barely conscious. Then, Joel hoists Harold, who is not a light man, and impales him on a sharp, severed fence post. 

Joel puts his rifle around front again, leaving Harold alive but doomed, and heads back toward the house.  He’s almost to the door when Harold manages to groan through his gurgles.  Joel turns around, calmly raises his rifle, shoots him in the head, then keeps walking. He goes back inside, chest heaving, wiping blood splatter off his face with his wrist. The rest of them are still inside. No one came to Harold's defense or ran. Joel stares down the men, and based on the faces he sees, he’s not worried about any of them.  

“Rest of ya got nothin’ to worry ‘bout,” he reassures them. “long as ya leave her ‘lone.” 

The men nod. Joel thinks about adding, and I’m not the only one you’ve gotta worry about, tempted to warn them that you know your way around a pistol and can handle yourself. One bullet, right between the eyes of that fucker. Joel thinks about it all the time. There’s something about his little sweet pea being a badass. And thank god, because he almost lost you. 

“Now back to business.” 

They discuss the rival crew they think sent two guys to Joel’s trailer, only for Joel and you to kill them. Joel doesn't think the crew is stupid enough to cause any more trouble, but agrees someone has to keep watch Just in case. 

Joel almost reminds his men that he holds all the smuggling routes and contacts, just in case they’re concerned enough to pull something.  But he doesn't need to say it. He dismisses them and grabs a duffle bag before collecting you from Carter. Carter asks what to do with Harold, and Joel says leave him for a while.

–

When the two of you get back to his trailer, Joel is ready to fuck out his anger. He sees himself in the mirror, chest heaving, veins about to pop, blood splatter on his hairline. God damnit, Harold. Joel  showers because he doesn’t want any part of Harold getting close to you. Not even his blood. 

You’re in the kitchen getting a glass of water when Joel walks out of the bathroom in just a towel.  He crosses the kitchen, drops the towel, and pins you against the counter, pressing his hardness against your ass. He backs up enough to scrunch up your dress and growls, "good girl," when he finds you panty-less and wet. You knew. You were ready for it. 

He grunts as he shoves himself into you, and he gives it to you good. "No one’s," he thrusts, "gonna," he grunts "touch ya." He plunges into you twice more, breathing heavily, then adds, “but me.” The power of his hips sends you to your toes with each thrust. He wraps an arm around you to hold you steady and watches over your shoulder as your tits jiggle with each punch of his hips. It doesn’t take you long to come.  Then he curls his hands under your arms to hold your shoulders down from the front and begins to pulse with a low groan. He leans his head against yours and cradles it from the other side as he catches his breath, then asks, “you good?”

You nod, “mm-hmm,” and he pulls out, feeling better. 

“Good.” 

-

In the following days, things settle down in Joel’s group and get back to normal. The rival crew doesn't show up.

—--

One night, Joel leaves you inside the trailer while he sits out by the fire, as he often does.  What you don't know is that he's not just sitting, drinking, and thinking.  He’s working on something.  He’s been making things for you. He hasn’t given you anything because nothing’s good enough, and it’s probably not going to get any better, but he keeps doing it.  Sometimes he feels a little silly, but they’re things that will help both of you.  Practical things. 

He made a thigh holster for your gun. There was an old one without the straps in the weapons cache which is just a small room of chaos in the stash house, no telling what else is in there.  He used part of a belt for the top strap and some black ribbon on the bottom, for the time being.  It would be better than nothing, but he hasn't given it to you in case it wouldn’t work. Maybe it doesn't matter. As the weather changes, you'll probably need new clothes, anyway. Maybe even pants, he internally grumbles. Sweaters, too, so your chest won’t be exposed. 

Tonight, Joel has another strap of leather with him, one that wasn't right for the holster. He also has a pot of water and a steel nail with a makeshift handle so he doesn’t burn himself. He heats up the tool and uses the hot nail head to emboss the strap with bold letters. He’s been working on it all week, and he’s only on ‘E.’ It’ll be first name only at this rate. You might not wanna wear it anyway, but it’s for your own good.  

Joel’s almost lost you twice now. If there’s anything he can do to make someone think twice about touching or taking you, he’ll do it. Because Jackson, may he burn in hell, was right. Joel can’t have his eyes on you every single second. He's told you before: you tell’em you belong to Joel Miller. They’ll back right off when they hear it.  But it doesn’t hurt for them to see it, too. And of course Joel wouldn't mind seeing it himself. 

Joel’s fingers are too big for work this small.  He accidentally makes the vertical line of the E slanted. Ah hell, this whole thing is no good anyway. You may never see it at this rate. But it feels good working with his hands, especially on something he thinks could help keep you safe and keep you his. You're a good girl, his good girl. 

He should be thinking strategy, what’s going to happen with these warring crews, but that’s just not where his head’s at.   

—--- YOU 🌸🫛—-----

You listen to the fire crackle and pop, longing for Joel to come to bed, longing for him to hold you, and more.  He seems to stay outside longer than usual. When he adds a new log to the fire, you get impatient and decide to go out. You put on your shoes and go to the door, pushing it open just an inch. The rail to the stairs is blocking your view, but he's looking down at something. His jaw clenches in the firelight and he raises his eyebrows as he looks up.  You slowly open the door, stepping out onto the stairs in your nightie.  He puts something down on the ground, out of view.  

“‘s’too cold out here, sweet pea. put on a shirt, would ya?" Your heart flutters at the implicit invitation and you return with a flannel over your nightie.  As you approach, he takes a swig of whiskey and puts the flask down.  His eyes are dark as he watches the flames.  He makes room for you but doesn’t take his eyes off the fire as he lets you climb into his lap. You study his face and see something new flickering behind it. Worry. You want to ask him what’s wrong, but you don’t. 

"When are you gonna come to bed?” you ask. 

His brows knit as he looks at you. For a few seconds, he concentrates on picking lint off the flannel and smoothing your nightgown. 

“I dunno, sweet pea. Got some stuff to figure out.”  

“Can I help?”

He shakes his head no. You put your arms around his neck and rest your cheek against his shoulder. Then you slowly roll your face against him so your lips touch his warm skin and your nose rests on top of his shoulder muscle.  You close your eyes and stay like that for a moment.  He doesn’t stop you. Then you dare to press your lips ever so slightly into his skin before pulling your face back to look at him, your lips disconnecting with a barely perceptible smack. Joel’s still looking at the fire, but he allows himself a subtle smile as he exhales a silent laugh, then cradles your head.  “Go to bed, sweet pea.” He kisses your temple. “I’ll be there in a li’l bit.” 

You take the flannel off and get in bed, still smelling like the fire. You think of getting naked, eager to feel Joel however he wants you. But maybe he likes undressing you, and it’s chillier than normal, too.  You lay under the covers getting wet and tingly thinking about what he'll do when he comes to bed.  

The fire is still blazing.  There’s no sign of him putting it out.  It doesn't seem like he's coming in soon, but you're too turned on to just go to sleep. You close your eyes, recalling the feeling of Joel’s warm skin on your lips by the fire.  The way his eyes sparkled. The way he always opens his arms for you to get in his lap–that seat is always yours whenever you want it. 

You think about how handsome he is. Even, or especially when he’s looking rough.  All dirty and beat up when he got home that one night, muscles pumped up. His sexy stitches. You play a montage in your head of all the times you’ve heard him yell, seen him stomp around ordering guys to do this or that. How fiercely he protects you. Your lip creeps under your teeth and you close your eyes. 

All the way turned on, you slide your hand down between your legs and imagine him walking in and ravaging you.  You recall how urgently he fucked you at the kitchen table after he thought you almost died.  You recall the time he fucked you naked in missionary and and marked your neck.  You try to visualize the look in his eyes.

And then, when you’re just about to come, you remember that one morning. Those few seconds you kissed, when he kissed you back. He had pulled you into him before he knew what he was doing. You still savor that fleeting moment he was grinding against you, his plush lips locked with yours. You can practically feel it.  And that’s enough to put you over the edge. You turn your head into the pillow and brace for your orgasm. 

—----- JOEL —------

You must think Joel can't hear your pretty little sounds when you touch yourself, but over the crackling of the fire he could swear he hears you moan into a pillow. His nose can't help but twitch into a little smile. He lets the fire die as he finishes the 'E',  then he comes inside and washes off the smoke in the shower. By the time he gets in bed, you're asleep on your back with your left arm on your chest. 

He carefully gets into the bed, spreading his weight out to not jostle the mattress. He's to your left, lying on his side, facing you. You’re so pretty and peaceful with your eyes closed and your sweet lips just slightly parted. An urge has been growing in his chest. He’s tried to push it away, but it's only grown, and he's afraid he can’t stop it happening. 

He can’t bring himself to do it when you’re awake. He can’t let himself see how happy it makes you. The loss feels inevitable, and it gets closer and closer.  The panic he felt when FEDRA had you on the ground.  The devastation when it sounded like you were shot outside his own trailer. It gets worse every time. And last time, there was something new. Two losses flashed before his eyes.  The loss of you (in the present and future), and the loss of what could have been–at least for a while, when he had the chance. The worst part is, he doesn't know which would hurt more.  

His eyes fall on your mouth again. 

If he does it now, it won’t mean anything. It won’t change anything. If he does it now, maybe this urge will stop pulling at him every time you’re close.  And then he can tell himself it never happened. Yeah, if he does it now, it can be like it never happened. Like he never let himself get that close, never gave you hope that he could be anything more than the terrible man he is. 

His lip twitches as he watches you sleep.  Then his breathing syncs with yours, and for a moment, everything fades away but you and him and the physical need that's tugging at him.  

Joel leans over you, careful not to wake you, and he hovers over your pretty face. It's happening. His heart races as his face drifts toward yours, drawn to you like a magnet. 

He closes his eyes, presses his lips gently into yours, and something rushes through his blood to every part of his body.  Fuck.  He's instantly soothed. With your lips still locked, he takes one breath through his nose then pulls away. He takes a deep breath, expecting the buzz to fade, expecting to hate himself. But you're so pretty and your lips were so soft. He almost chokes on his own saliva.  He's quickly gotten hard.

Still fast asleep, you sigh and your nose twitches. You hum the prettiest little "mm," and roll over on your right, facing away from him like you normally sleep. 

He pinches his eyes shut tight. He has to have you. 

–

Joel curls himself around you, inhales your hair, and cups your breast. He presses his cock against you, hardening to full strength by now.  He lets out a deep but quiet, "Mmm," not enough to wake you up. The exposed skin of your back and shoulder is so inviting, he's salivating. His arm slides from your breast down your nightie to your mound and you sigh. He lifts his head to see if you're awake as he aimlessly caresses you over your nightie. Your brow furrows with his light touch. Aw, sweet pea, he thinks to himself. You're just so cute. He presses a gentle kiss into your neck where it meets your shoulder, and he begins to ghost your clit through the fabric. 

You sigh again, but still don't seem to wake up yet. He presses your mound so your hips tilt for him, and he pulls up the nightgown. He tests you with a finger and finds you wet but pulls back and pauses to add saliva to his tip.  He teases your entrance with his cock, and you sigh "Mmm, Joel," as you begin to stir awake. He pushes the curve of his tip just slightly inside, then holds your breast. 

He asks, “You 'wake?” 

“Mmm,” you answer weakly. 

"wake you up?" His cock prods at your tight, wet entrance, pushing in a little further.. He's itching to be inside you, but he's taking his time, captivated by your peacefulness. 

Your spine arches and you push back on him, taking another inch of his cock in with a moan as you stir awake. "Joel,” you sigh. 

He presses his lips into your neck and lets them linger.  You ask, "are you awake?" 

"Mm-hmm," he answers, his voice deep and gravely.  He groans softly as he pushes his cock into you. He takes a deep breath as your insides make room for him. It dawns on him that he's never taken the time to savor the moment your bodies are joined, but shit, it feels good. He didn't know it could feel so good like this. He’s feeling every groove of you in slow motion. Each centimeter of you greets him with a tight, warm hug.  You push back on him with a moan, bringing your bodies together. 

Oh, sweet pea. You want it so bad, and you take it so good.

—---YOU 🌸🫛—---

Joel’s cock spreads you apart and he buries his length in you slowly at first, palming your breasts. He pauses, all the way inside you, and removes your nightie so your naked bodies are flush. It feels like a dream. The way he kissed your shoulder, the way he’s fucking you right now with his whole body cradling yours, each thrust so deliberate, you can’t help but still wonder if he’s truly awake. If you're truly awake. He grunts softly each time he bottoms out. His sighs and moans are deep and gravely. 

“Sweet pea,” he whispers against your neck, “ohhhh, you — ohh, you take it so good, baby.” His hand slides down your stomach, between your legs. He whispers in your ear,  "God DAMN, youfeelsogood,” he inhales sharply, then sighs your name.  Your nipples harden and you get goosebumps. 

“Joel,” you whimper at his fingers on your clit.  The fullness of his cock was enough, and the addition of his hand has you twitching already.  

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he whispers, and his voice is so soothing, you relax again. He slows down his pace, his length sliding snugly into your warmth slow enough to feel the drag of his tip inside you. He touches your clit and you whimper again. He adjusts his hand to touch it less directly, pulsing his flattened fingers.  That’s what you need. You moan. 

“Good girl.” 

You wanna ask him again if he’s really awake, but you don’t want to break the spell. You let the silence linger, peppered with moans and sighs from each of you. You’d love for this to last forever. You love every way he gives it to you, but the newness of this is something to savor. After a few minutes, sweat begins to bead and run between your bodies.  You’re both breathing heavily. He gropes at your breasts and the entire front of your body, like he can’t get you close enough. His breathing gets ragged.  You memorize the feel of his cock dragging thick and slow inside you.  Then he adds his hand again. His thrusts become more powerful.  “Come for me, I want you to– nnngh.” 

“Joel,” you whine. 

‘Ohh,” he moans. 

“Joel, I’m–”

“Go ‘head, baby—ugghh—-you can do it”

Your upper back presses into his chest.  He groans and holds you tight as you convulse against him and choke his cock with your climax. “Ohhhh, baby, mmmm.” He bottoms out and pulses inside you as you’re still coming.  He sighs "ohhh," as he fills you up with his warm release. Your body hugs him more with every pulse of his cock.  

When you’re both finished coming, your bodies are still joined. You relish the fullness of him inside you.  You expect him to pull out any minute, but his breathing regulates with yours. 

At some point, Joel's breath stutters abruptly, and you realize he's fallen asleep like this. Holding you close, body curled around you, cock gradually softening inside you. It isn't long until you drift off, too. 

-

Smut continues here: asleep inside

Next major chapter: hunger

-

Thank you so much for reading and engaging. Please consider commenting or reblogging to show raider Joel your love, even if this post is old. 💖 Love you guys. I love your passion for him. Your engagement motivates me. <333

Friendly reminder that there will be no pregnancy in this fic, Joel was snipped pre outbreak. 

----

@toxicfics for notifications, make sure your phone is set to enable push notifications from tumblr. Some of my fics are pretty dark!

⚠️ Since so many people are saying tags aren't working, I may discontinue the tag list soon, sorry ⚠️

All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname   @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret @bean-is-reading

[darqx]

Snakes on a post

Another particularly long answer dump since i, once again, have a backlog of things to potentially answer |D

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

Got jumpscared with my own old art for a hot minute there LAUGHS.

(For those wondering, the naga doodle from here was attached to the ask)

That is every other Royal that exists in the Nether and also at least some of the demons that challenged him for his Royal title lol.

Believe me, no one was or is more surprised then me XD;

So, the thing about where Rire's ichor manifests is that it kinda exists and doesn't exist at the same time. Meaning that his upper back is where the manifestation point is anchored, BUT it can still manifest with a bit of space in between it and his back hence why it will manifest over his clothes and not through them.

So if you touch where the manifestation point is sans the ichor, than you are just straight up touching his back. With the ichor, he still gets sensory input from the tentacles to his back but it's a lot more soft and muted esp the further away it gets from him. As you've seen implied though, he would feel a very sharp pain if a great deal of damage was done to the ichor where it clusters at the manifestation point, since he'd DEF be feeling that straight in his back lol.

He is definitely a top and the only way he would bottom for anybody is if they somehow forced him to.

Ah i knew i'd answered this a long time ago [finally found it]! Holy crosses (those that have been blessed) can also burn him but they would need to be in contact with him the entire time. Being a Royal he also has more of a tolerance to these than normal demons.

Well, unless said person actually has the undeniable ability to make good on their words, Rire would just stand there rather genially with that little smile he sometimes has and let them finish.

And then he might use them as reverse suggestions for dealing with said person (why would you give him any ideas!!?)

both

In BTD canon it is quite possible that they actually haven't in person. But we are using creative license here haha.

Rire heals a lot faster than a human. Cain is not my character so I don't know how his stacks up.

I've grouped these asks cos they kind of have similar answers - 360° (jk sorry sorry to the second q that is just a very common spelling mistake and I couldn't resist XD; )

Now, even though we mashed all the characs together in BTD, they all actually come from different storylines and so their canons outside the "BTD canon" may differ. This tends to bleed in. With this in mind:

The rules of Rire's canon (eg the concept of Battle Royales and how to become a Royal) don't apply to Cain. Anyway, they don't live in the same place either.

Cain is canonically the oldest and most OP character in BTD lol so yes he is stronger than Rire - you might've noticed, but Rire is never in the same drawing as Cain voluntarily. I play with this along with the "natural weakness" aspect - which I've also referred to as scissors-paper-rock rules XD Basically; demons beat humans, angels beat demons (purely because demons have weakness against holiness).

It would (be insane) but I hope you are not looking at me to fulfil this :d

Not really

His coronation day is a public holiday in his sector so yes XD

Aww thank you very much for your interest! ≧(´▽｀)≦ It's really cool that some of you guys want to actually fund such a thing - I'd have thought you'd have enough of him killing you in BTD1 XD Unfortunately, I have no plans for a Rire game at the moment as I'm working on a webcomic which looks like it will take up all my free time (that being said, he will be in the webcomic at some point).

Nope! Although i can kinda see why you might think that lol.

Whatever that one is where he doesn't particularly care what someone else identifies as. It really makes no difference to him or how he will act.

There are viruses in the Nether that if contracted could potentially kill you, yes. Part of being a Royal is becoming a lot more robust than normal Demons though. As for if/when Rire dies, I dunno maybe either in a Battle Royale somewhere thousands of years down the line or by old age (which is rare for a Royal but not impossible if you play your cards right).

If you are asking if he has a heat/rut of some sort, he does not |D

[followthebluebell]

my cat has a poopy bum and won't let me wipe it :(

advice welcome but this ask was mostly to exasperatedly sigh with a side of "same hat?" (I remember Qs bum woes)

(it's my understanding that cat anuses aren't something to discuss with the general population 😅)

[sigh]

Same hat. A lot of the ragdolls came in with parasitic infections which resulted in a LOT of poopy bums and, with those luxurious soft coats, poopy bums quickly become poopy everythings. AND a lot of the ragdolls were very... Unhappy at first, so unfortunately their introduction to me mostly involved being wrestled into a sink, hosed down, and then trimmed (or shaved in a few cases) and then medicated.

No one was a happy camper. Everyone was discontent. No one was happy in a tent.

I had the luxury of having a LOT of drugs on hand but like... I don't think most people have a pharmacy right there. I mean, I guess they do if they consider the slightly shady gentleman on the street as a pharmacy, but i don't think you should feed anything he gives you to your cat.

ok but really: this may be a two person job. One of you needs to swaddle the cat as much as possible. Just make a very big purrito (or maybe a grrito, depending on how spicy your cat is). Someone needs to hold him still while the other person wipes. If it's drying out, you may need to grab a damp washcloth. I HEAVILY advise you have this ready beforehand because holding an angry cat is quite similar to holding a grenade that can and will poop on you.

If you need to use a bit of soap, that's fine. You can use some watered down dishsoap. It's not ideal but neither is having a poopy bottom.

It's fine if you don't get it all; your cat has been licking his own butt his entire life. He can continue to do so.

[chaotic-iguana]

Hushed loving

lawfirm partner! joel x paralegal! reader

request by @suckerforfanfic : the reader and joel having a secret relationship based on i can see you by ts, which could include like little smutty scenes

wordcount: 1.1k

warnings: smut. sexy times, falling in love ish, power play, boss/employee relationship

a/n: thanks for answering my random law related qs @theywhowriteandknowthings vi ur the best 

masterlist

But what would you do if I went to touch you now?

What would you do if they never found us out?

What would you do if we never made a sound?

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do, baby, if you only knew?

That I can see you

“Shhh honey, can’t let ‘em hear us,” a rough whisper came from behind you as a large hand clamped over your mouth, his other hand snaking around your waist to snap the band of your underwear against your skin, making you squirm. 

“So fuckin’ needy, aren’t you?” a soft coo into the back of your neck; a frantic swipe of his fist ripping the ruined underwear off of you. It takes all your focus to clear the haze in your mind and just nod desperately.  

“Almost think you like the thrill a’ gettin’ caught. Would you like that, baby? For everyone to know you’re being fucked by the boss?” The mere thought makes you moan and throw your head back into the warmth of his broad shoulder, a garbled yes tumbling from your lips. 

It had taken months for Joel to so much as look at you. The intern, the nobody who was lugged with every menial task no one else bothered to do. You’d been working at his firm for nearly half a year, when an extremely late night at the office had you accidentally falling asleep on your desk instead of finishing up the brief you needed to have at Joel’s desk by the next morning. He was the first one entering in the morning, and when he found you slumped over your desk with files scattered everywhere, he’d started yelling at you until he saw the exhausted tears in your eyes, the slump of your shoulders, and how uncombed your hair was. His piercing gaze had softened, hands smoothing over your shoulders as he tidied your desk up and put your computer in your bag before he turned to you with a familiar scowl and told you to get the hell out before you tank anything else, sweetheart. 

He looked at you more often after that. Thanked you for the coffees his colleagues forced you to get as a cruel joke. Two weeks later, he recruited you in a permanent paralegal position, claiming he was impressed by your work for him so far. It had taken a few drinks and yet another late night for him to pin you with a dark stare, a rosy flush spreading down his cheeks and chest.

And now, months after that, here you were. At his mercy in an empty conference room while literally every single one of your colleagues were in the bullpen right outside. You were so sure everyone knew by now - it was practically obvious. Both of you always left the office within twenty minutes of each other, his so-called lectures to you had way less bite than before - he even called you sweetheart during one and your heart nearly leapt out of your chest until you realised everyone else took it as condescension - and oh, god the looks. Joel was always looking at you now. From across the room, from the other side of the glass pane of his office, in meetings, in hallways. In all honesty, you weren’t much better. A frenzied need for him overtook your mind at all times, rendering you entirely mindless beyond him. 

His rough hands groped the inside of your thighs, nudging you to spread your legs as he leaned back into the table behind him, settling you on his thigh. The palm clamped on your jaw moved down to curl around your neck, cutting off the whimper that escaped you while his thumb grazed your folds, an arm hooking under your thigh to hold you to him as your hips bucked. Two fingers inched into you, making your breath hitch as Joel curled them slightly and began pumping them rapidly. 

“Lookin’ so goddamn pretty in this skirt. Had to show you my appreciation, sweetheart. Fuckin’ love ruining you at work.” Another muted moan, your nails biting into his forearms as you let out a high-pitched whine at his words. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening, your thighs beginning to shake at the onslaught and Joel picked up on it immediately. 

“Shit-fuck are you about’a come? Already?” At your nod, he huffed and sped up his fingers, angling them so his thumb was circling your clit furiously. “Think you’ve earned it? Botched a fuckin’ meeting with a client thanks to you. Maybe I shouldn’t let you come until we get home. Leave you high and dry, hm?” 

Your eyes went wide and before you knew it, you were pleading him. “N-no, Joel, please. Need to come, need it-“ His scoff cut you off, movements getting more brutal; more honed to the spots Joel knew made you see stars. 

“Need it?” The mocking words made you shut your eyes in embarrassment before Joel continued rasping into your shoulder from behind. Another mumbled please had him flat out laughing at you. 

“Well, I gotta give my girl what she needs, don’t I?” and with that, you were coming, hard. Trembling in his arms, you clenched around his fingers hard enough for him to choke on his breath as he muttered praises into your hair, working you through the high before you went limp in his arms. 

Hands that had groped, spread, and bruised you began gently fixing your skirt while pocketing your ripped panties, smoothing out the wrinkles in your clothes before he looked down at you with a glint in his eye. 

“Prep the paperwork for Johnson’s case. Get it done by tonight, and I’ll make you some chicken alfredo when you get home.” He dipped to peck your lips once, lightly - as if he was choosing this moment to be bashful - before slipping out of the room. 

His footsteps were interrupted by the sharp, irritating voice of his colleague - the one whose client you were supposed to have spoken to twenty minutes ago, which in your defense is what you stepped into the conference to do before Joel found you - a man who found every opportunity to point out flaws in your work. And you were about to give him a smoking gun. 

“Hey Joel, where’s your favorite paralegal? I’ve been looking for her for the past thirty minutes and I can’t seem to find her anywhere. Some kid said he saw her go into that conference room you just came out of. She still in there?”  

There was a pause of silence, and you could hear the sheer panic in Joel’s voice when he finally spoke. 

“Uh, I don’t have a f-favorite paralegal. And if she’s in there I definitely didn’t see her. She must have gone in and come out a long time ago. Because why would we both be in the same room for so long, right?” 

His rushed, shitty explanation made it so fucking obvious what was going on - as if the many, many sounds slipping from the crappily sound-proofed room didn’t. 

So much for keeping it quiet. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist (message me if you want to be taken off): @imherefordeanandbones  @theywhowriteandknowthings , @josephquinnswhore ,@millerscoffee , @nostalxgic , @sscorpiiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @its-nebuleuse , @sofiparallel , @mandoisapunk , @bastardmandennis , @evyiione , @breakfastatjoels dividers by @reveriesources

[prettiestboyreid]

fics that have altered my brain chemistry (eddies/joe qs version)

okay so ive been in an adhd brain rot?? where im just fucking HORRIBLE at reblogging fics that i enjoy and honestly it was my whole reasoning behind making this blog FOR GIVING WRITERS THE LOVE THEY DESERVE i just wanted to give a shoutout to these writers (and stories) they’ve made that just fucking messed with my brain (and in a good way okay??) over these last few months. please check them out and give them all the fucking love they deserve

like a poem (FINISHED series, but sometimes if you ask nice enough she will throw a blurb in there) - im so very fucking biased because i love her to the moon and back, but she writes the best fucking stories of joe that will keep you up all night having you rethinking all of your life choices. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME to pick out a story that i wanted to highlight in this post, but the whole reason i fell in love with her writing was because of bookstore!joe and he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. love you boo

plot: “Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then also, it’s Joseph Quinn.“ from the authors page

echoes (FINISHED, series) - again im so very fucking biased because she is the sweetest person you will have the pleasure of knowing BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT - she writes so fucking beautifully she will literally have you CRY and this will forever and always be my favourite fic of hers. she deserves all the love she gets, and then even more so read it!!!! (she will make you cry its not on me tho)

plot: “When she laid her emotions out for her best friend, the last thing she expected was for him to turn around, walk away and never speak to her again. Years after, they meet again - different people, different feelings. Or are they?” from the authors page

the hideout (FINISHED, oneshot)- this was one of the first fics i read and fell in love with. it was in that timeperiod where all i could do 24/7 was read eddie munson fanfics and this was one of those fics where i went “holy SHIT??” and honestly i dont think there will ever be a time where this isnt just some % on my mind??

plot: “Eddie Munson made it big. Now, when he returns to Hawkins for a hometown concert with his band, he is reminded of the girl he’s been in love with for the past 6 years when Steve Harrington calls.” from the authors page

vintage reeboks (FINISHED) - this is one of those fics where you’re like???? holy shit i wish i’d come up with that?? i remember reading all of this in one day (summertime, sweating very fucking much) and its just?? holy shit its perfect?? the way eddie is in this??? and its something i could never think of would be this perfect?? i swear i think of this fic at least once a day??

plot: “The gate at the bottom of Lover’s Lake was meant to spit the quartet out in the Upside Down. Steve, Nancy, and Robin were meant to be there. He wasn’t meant to be alone. But when Eddie comes to on the shoreline, you’re there. It’s not the Upside Down. It’s not Lover’s Lake. It’s not 1986.” from the authors page

twenty four hours (STILL GOING) - the way this has me in a chokehold?? im a fucking sucker for when fics have a nice layout??? and this is just so pretty to look at?? like whenever i see its been updated my whole body is SHAKING?? i dont even know what to say?? this is just so amazing and the whole?? will they wont they?? i love them?? i want them both to fight with me all night long??? i CANNOT wait to see where this ends

plot: “in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?” from the authors page

to know you’re mine (FINISHED) - i saw someone talk about this in the “eddie munson x reader” tag, and DEVOURED the chapters that were up in one whole day?? the way eddie is so fucking soft and nice and the best fucking gentleman in this?? and also?? the relationship to steve in this is amazing??? but THE RELATIONSHIP TO EDDIE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING?? such a fucking fantastic author please go EAT all the chapters right now

plot: “You know the rules. You'd been there when your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, discussed them with the others. There are only two.Number one: Only play when everyone's together. Number two: No finishing inside each other's girls.You'd agreed to these rules, same as Chrissy. Same as Eddie.But then there's rule number three, and though it remains unspoken, it's by far the most important. And you have that feeling again, like when you propped yourself up against the barstool, straining to see him on that stage, craning for a glimpse as his husky voice reached inside you. Now, his dark eyes are doing the same thing: pulling at something buried deep, tugging it into the light where it can't be hidden. And, sure, of course, you didn't intend this. But what are intentions in the face of such things? Needless to say, every rule gets broken.” from the authors page

the customer’s always right (STILL GOING) - hehhehe im a hoe for cutie virgin eddie??? but they way she always manages to capture eddie in her fics?? fucking amazing??? and her writing??? yes PLEASE so do yourself a favor on this fine friday AND READ THIS AMAZING FUCKING SERIES because eddie will make you fall in love in this???

plot: “eddie munson is a virgin and doesn’t want anyone to know (because being an adult who’s never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.” from the authors page

sincerely yours... (STILL GOING) - like i’ve told her before - her eddie is fucking amazing and so very much to the point!! im so excited for this one and cannot WAIT to see where eddies teasing will make him end up!! the last fucking part of this??? amazing

plot: "Untouchable, is what he called you. Dating Jason, the captain of the basketball tea, most would call you the same. Living your holier than thour life, something else he said, you can’t seem to swallow the need to prove him wrong” from the authors page

burn one (FINISHED) - this is just the perfect fucking combination of smutty and sweet??? like this is just how i imagine eddie and this is so fucking sweet and perfect?? had me thinking about this for WEEKS UGH

plot: "When you move to Hawkins to start over, your new unexpected friendship with your weed dealer next door is your saving grace. It was never your intention to fall in love with him though.” from the authors page

Disjointed (STILL GOING) - this fic has me feeling ALL the feels in all the chapters?? makes me GIGGLE, makes me CRY!!!, i’m in love with all the chapters and i CANNOT WAIT to see them live happily every after

also now that i’ve finished, i’ve just realised this is a lovepoem to my favourite authors on this app heheheh im sorry but i DO love you guys. please do go and read their stories, and send them all the fucking love in the world!! they do have so many amazing stories on their masterlist you will not be able to sleep tonight!!!

authors mentioned in this post THAT YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT!!: @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @inknopewetrust @storiesbyrhi​ @ghost-proofbaby​ @blue-mossbird @lovebugism​ @plumxwrites​ @loveshotzz​ @boomhauer

[lordwoolselytaxservices]

2, 12 and 22 from fifty more rook qs?

Thank you so much for sending me an ask! 💖 As of right now, Fivren is my canon Rook so I’ll answer for her.

2. A scene from Rook’s year with Varric and Lace

���Pay up old man” Fivren demanded jokingly, a large grin on her face and her hand outstretched, beckoning the coin from the table.

“All right, all right,” Varric replied, counting out the gold before handing it to her. “You win this round. How did you get so good at Wicked Grace anyway? I thought the Lords of Fortune were more prone to taking rather than gambling.”

“The Lords are prone to any means necessary to get their treasures.” Fivren responded, dropping the coin into the embroidered pouch that hung from her belt. She ran over the threads that covered the leather of the small bag. Brilliant blues and greens made the leaves and petals of a crystal grace flower, her finger stopping on the bright magenta that created its filament. It had been him who had taught her the game. Her eyes lost focus, the blue thread reminder her of the color of his eyes before…

“Good news, we got word from Inquisitor Trevelyan.” Harding stated as she took a seat. “She says there’s reports of suspicious activity happening near Raven’s Brook. It’s not far from here. We should see if it’s connected to Solas.”

“Rabbit would be rolling her eyes at you for calling her Inquisitor Trevelyan like that,” Varric chuckled. “But you’re right. It’s worth checking out.”

“What about Neve?” Harding asked.

“I’ll go with you,” Fivren offered, slamming down what was left in her mug. “You might need backup. And Varric can…”

“I’ll head to Minrathous. Just don’t get yourselves killed all right?” He said with a smirk, his eyes giving away the concern he felt. He held up the deck of cards, “One more round before we call it night?”

12. An argument between Rook and the LI(s)

Fivren pinched the bridge of her nose as she sighed in frustration. Taash could be so indifferent about things sometimes, even things that felt important to her. “You can’t just say that!”

“Why not?” They countered, arms crossing their chest as they shifted on their feet. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that it isn’t a big deal but you’re making it into a big deal!”

“How exactly?” The qunari replied as their brows furrowed further.

“Because!” Fivren shouted, her arms throwing up in the arm in frustration. “All I said was that I like to sneak truffles to Assan and instead of seeing that I enjoy doing it and that Assan enjoys it and it helps us bond you have to give me a lecture about how feeding him too many truffles is a bad idea.”

“Well… it is,” Taash shrugged, their indifference seeming to grow.

“It’s not like I’m giving him a ridiculous amount of them. I’m talking like one, maybe two mushrooms every once in awhile.”

“I mean, I guess that’s not so bad. Just don’t spoil him because then he’ll expect it and if he doesn’t get enough he could act out and misbehave.”

Fivren sighed again, dropping into the sofa and allowing her head to fall into her hands as her elbows rested on her knees. She took a few deep breaths before Taash sat next to her, placing their hand on her back.

“Hey I’m sorry all right? I didn’t mean to make it like… a thing.”

“I was just telling you about my day and trying to be playful with you,” the dwarf replied in a soft yet stern voice.

“Oh, right,” they said letting their hand drop back to their lap. “Sorry.”

“It’s a good thing you’re adorable,” Fivren smirked, pushing into them with her shoulder.

Taash rolled her eyes, “Don’t get all mushy on me now.”

Fivren smiled, “I won’t.”

22. In Rook’s opinion, what’s the best meal Bellara prepared? And Lucanis?

Fivren really enjoys Lucanis’ seafood paella, especially if he uses shrimp but won’t hesitate to eat more than her fair share no matter how he prepares it. For Bellara, Fivren really enjoys her forest fruit cobbler. It often changes depending on the fruits that Bellara manages to find during her travels but she always grabs seconds.

[whumpdreaming]

prompt for Barbara Summers if you have time!!

... ELECTROCUTION // unconsciousness // "Say please!"

(same anon who sent the Qs for Barb. i love her. gonna start using the Christmas tree as an identifier. also will most likely send more asks)

—🎄

Thank you so much for the ask!! This and the questions have very much helped to flesh out Alessandra since I was kinda unsure on her character beforehand. It seems she gets very pissed off when she doesn't get what she wants 🤔I hope this is ok!!

Barb flinches as the cattle prod hits her again, crackling against her skin, making her bite down so hard on her tongue that it draws blood.

"We can be done with this any time you want," Alessandra says pleasantly. "Just say please."

Barb does not plan to say please. She isn't going to let herself be pushed around like this. Metaphorically, at least. Her hands are bound behind her back, left in nothing but her underwear, letting Alessandra shove her back up against the wall and shove the cattle prod against her thigh again.

Barb does her best, against the white-hot feeling of the cattle prod against her sweat-soaked skin, but isn't able to keep herself from screaming. Her thighs are pink and raw, with some parts slightly blackened, and she's pretty sure she can see a thin column of smoke rising from one area. The worst burns Barb had before this were nothing more than holding something hot for a few seconds, or maybe that time she spilled coffee all over her shirt, but even that was very little compared to this.

Alessandra forces her down to the ground, laying on her back, crying. Alessandra tucks her hair behind her ear to keep it from hanging in her face, sitting down on Barb's torso, making it difficult to breathe. She seems.. very angry.

"I told you. If you want it to stop," she hisses through closed teeth, grabbing Barb's soft upper arm and shoving the cattle prod against it, making Barb flinch, "then say please. Let me hear it, bitch."

Barb is still crying, but she won't let Alessandra win. Whatever "winning" entails. She wishes she had something to bite down on, because it feels like her entire body is burning and raw.

Alessandra slams the cattle prod into her side, so harshly that it pierces the skin, and Barb screams again, nothing less than blood-curdling. Alessandra doesn't let up, growling "Say. Please. Say. Please. Say. Please," over and over, but Barb doesn't let up either, and eventually the pain knocks her unconscious —

[swampstew]

Raven my beloved!! I'm so sorry the day is kicking you around, omw with snacks and some herby goodness 💖🫂

I've got some Qs too, to distract you, if you'd like !! If not, we can just cuddle pile with Kid and Killer and write the day off. 💖💖💖

1. What's one thing about Kid that Rowena cannot stand? (Is it the night farts? The chainsaw snoring? The ugly ass pants? 😂😂)

2. What's three things Rowena absolutely ADORES about Kid?

I love you super duper very much and I hope the day gets a little better for you my love !! Sending Kid to snuggle up with you right meow !! 💖💖💖

MANDIE I AM SO SORRY HOW DID I MISS THIS!!! I am having another rough week so its approps to answer this lol

One thing Rowena cannot stand? Probably the cabbage roll farts XD there is Very little Rowena is bothered by, she's been through a lot and seen some shit. Bad farts are the worst that can happen to her and she'd be ok with it at this point!

2. Three things she absolutely adores: 1.) Kid's craftsmanship, especially when he makes animals out of his scrap. The metal butterflies are her favorite. 2.) His relationship with the crew, he acts big and tough and he certainly is - the crew wouldn't dare step out of line - but at the same time, the way they act around him can be so funny, one minute he's being loud and demanding and everyone is obedient, and then the next minute he's unbothered by the shenanigans they do throughout the day. Pranks, tricks, etc. Some going as far as treating him like a little brother, which he kind of is. He's just very chill with them and she loves seeing his duality. 3.) This is very far into the future...but when the time comes...Kid is an amazing father to their children. When he builds everything in the nurseries, the toys, the way he talks to the babies in a soft voice but like they're little people who can totally understand what he's saying. "See squirt, the nuts came loose on this rocking chair and if Dad didn't catch it and fix it, your Mommy would fall down on her aaaa---ahem butt and then be very pissed at me when I laugh, so I gotta take care of this now. Watch carefully and maybe you'll be as good an engineer as I am."

Let's snuggle up with Kid and watch scary movies together!! Bring the chocolate drizzled popcorn pls <3

[smallumbrella369]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @blackandwhiteandrose!

How many works do you have on ao3? 18

What's your total ao3 word count?

158,583

What fandoms do you write for?

I have only written for Schitt’s Creek 

Top five fics by kudos:

My Heart is like paper

Bloom

You are Gold

Ocean and Sky

The poem you make of me

Do you respond to comments?

Oh absolutely, I do! I always want to show my appreciation if someone takes the time to comment.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m angst averse so I don’t write angsty endings! 

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of the endings are happy.

Do you get hate on fics?

Fortunately, I have not. 

Do you write smut?

Yup.

Craziest crossover:

I’ve not written a crossover

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I’m not sure I have the disposition for it

All time favourite ship?

 Forever and always - David & Patrick 

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ooo I don’t like the word doubt.  I have a few that I want to finish and I struggle with each of them in different ways. And while it’s possible something may never be finished, I don’t want to say that I doubt I'll finish. I am going to try to finish all my wips. 

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m decent at emotional tone. And occasionally I can make a really pretty sentence. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

Oof. Punctuation, commas in particular. I know I tend to over-write and often end a paragraph with a sentence that stomps on the previous ones. Oh, and I love a flowery description. 

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I’ve only done it once. It’s fine? 

First fandom you wrote in?

Schitt’s Creek

Favourite fic you've written?

Probably Heart/Paper. It’s a world I’d really love to live in, even if David and Patrick weren’t there. But I have a soft spot for each of my fics. Writing them brought me immense joy.

@madlori @missgeevious @chelle-68 @apothecarypants @five678patty @jamilas-pen

@statueinthestonetoo

@ramonaflow

@flowertrigger

@jamilas-pen

@statueinthestonetoo

@ramonaflow

@meadowharvest4856

[chelemlem]

please i love the love island AU!!!! some questions if you don't mind: 1) if lando/carlos were the runner's up, who won first place? 2) what was lando's reaction when he realized oscar is helping him 3) was oscar ever jealous watching lando crack on with other folks and what did that look like 4) WHO DID OSCAR FIGHT AAAH

HELLO ANON 🧡 ofc i don't mind !!!!

1. going off irl popularity it was probably maxiel lmao. even tho it's hinted daniel gets kicked i can see him having a midseason ~comeback a lá molly marsh in s10 a lá real life

2. tbh ! i don't think lando is toooo aware exactly how much oscar "helped" him... he's like okay sure oscar has a soft spot for me but also my longevity on the show is prolly bc i'm a good actor (he's not) and the public find my twinkish gremlinisms endearing (they do)... meanwhile oscar is behind the scenes cherrypicking edits to ensure he comes off as likeable and inducing chemistry w his partners via tswift soundtracks

3. WELL in my hc oscar's been working on love island for 2-3 years already and is extremely clear-eyed about the Showmanship Of It All and contestants Faking Sentiments To Secure The Bag but sometimes he'll be watching back footage of lando getting it on in a challenge all [bored professional voice] "yeah it's a good shot keep it in" and some1 (logan) has to be like uhhh m8 you're like. crushing my notes. let go

4. honestly this is up to interpretation lmao! timewise i see it happening right before the finale so it makes sense tensions are running high

THANK U FOR THE ASK <33 i had a lot of fun imagining how the grid would operate in love-island specific scenarios (casa amor homewrecker sharl anyone???) sgndkd i hope some of the subtler details came across (eg. lando "picking" george for the date implying he was an early bombshell vs one of the ogs). i love talking abt this au so feel free to ask as many qs as u want lmao <333

[wearingaberetinparis]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @mppmaraudergirl!

How many works do you have on AO3? Currently, I have 62 works on A03! That is going to change in the next few weeks, but I have to say that I cannot believe that there's 62 works on there.

What's your total A03 word count? My word count is currently at 1,254,232 words.

What fandoms do you write for? I only write for the Harry Potter fandom. I used to write some Gilmore Girls fanfiction, but that's over a decade ago by now. I was very, very, very young when I wrote those fics.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I find it incredible to see that a fic that I wrote in the summer of 2017 is still the fic that received most kudos... anyway, here you go! 1. Game of Thrones 2. It Only Takes A Taste (When You Know It's Good) 3. Call It What You Want 4. Knocked Up By My Ex 5. Shout Out To My Ex You can find them all on my AO3!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I generally do! I have been slacking a bit for the past four chapters of Call It What You Want, but I will reply to those in time too!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I tend to write angst with - in general, I would say - a happy ending. One of the angstiest works I have ever written is probably Gold-Plated Love.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I would say that all have a happy ending, especially considering all the ignoring of Jily canon I do. I will, I think, leave this up to my reader!

Do you get hate on fics? I get the odd comment every once in a while. I have to admit that I'm not very good at not letting it get to me. I am trying to be better about it and also am thinking that if 98% of the comments I've ever received are positive, I should not complain.

Do you write smut. If so, what kind? I do, yes. It's all Jily smut and my latest work Call It What You Want - which will be complete tomorrow - is the smuttiest thing I have ever written.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? No, I have never been interested in doing so. I write loads of AUs, but crossovers don't really appeal to me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, I am fairly certain no one ever did translate one of my fics. Someone once created a podfic for one of mine.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No! But I'm looking to change that. @athenasparrow and I are cooking something up.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Jily. There is no other answer.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doublt you ever will? I plan on finishing all of them, but I can't finish them all at once. Maybe some my extremely old ones... I think I'll want to rewrite them completely if I open them again.

What are your writing strengths? Oh, that's a difficult one! I think one of my strengths is conveying emotion. At least, I hope so, because I work very hard on that one.

What are your writing weaknesses? I am afraid that people will sometimes find my writing repetitive, boring and/or long-winded. But I hope that's not the case.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Only when it makes sense. It would feel weird if it's out of the blue.

First fandom you wrote for? Gilmore Girls, I wrote Rory/Logan fanfiction. But I must have been 12-14 at the time.

Favourite fic you have ever written? Oh, that's difficult and very much depends on the day and the mood I am in. I have a soft spot for all of my works. But today I'm excited about finishing Call It What You Want, so let's say that one is today's favourite.

Tagging @athenasparrow, @annabtg, @practicecourts and everyone else who would like to be tagged. No pressure on anyone, though!

[chthonicgodling]

For those qs: Hypnos 2, 14 and 18!

thanks!!! this got craaazy long cause of course it did so. bbbeeehind the cut I go-

[send me a question from here with an OC from here!]

2- Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? 

the world Known Now as the Elysium’verse began with me messing around one million years ago specifically Maci, Seph, and Meli - then Fenixe and I met, Tory got involved, and SPIRAL. but Hypnos was actually floating around in that weird pre-Elysium era to then transition into a cameo character in the early days! (Actually Fenixe and I used to pass him back and forth before I retained custody fgkfkf). However… Hypnos was made AFTER Thanatos. oops! they were a set pair from the get-go but Hypnos came about cause like, well I couldn’t have one without the other—

so yes, his entiiiire design was born solely from selecting opposite details from his twin brother - the opposite color scheme, softe hair, angel wings. everything about Hypnos - tragically terribly - has revolved around thanatos forever….. even his character design rippp

14- If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

I love this question bc as we know the Elysium’verse is RP based and so this is like my constant notes to self while cycling through characters esp when a pile of ALL MINE end up talking to each other. Hypnos, despite his important history with Maci, IS in canon mostly appearing still as side cameo character or often used for brief plot Purposes (can zap anyone to sleep)/ for comic relief (can barely get through a sentence without falling asleep). yet in the back of MY head his two defining core features anytime I’m writing him is:

number one! that Hypnos has spent more time than literally anyone else with Thanatos breathing down his neck. for thousands and thousands of years. since BIRTH. they’re TWINS. even after Than was “stopped” in the Maci Days - he just receded to Hypnos’s side like up until Thanatos was arrested WHEN NEO WAS BORN A MERE SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO, Thanatos was harassing Hypnos! Luckily for him, Hypnos is married to the goddess of anti-anxiety and like. has coped healthily with her help and guidance all things considered but it’s his defining trait for sure. Hypnos is skittish and meek and prone to cowering - this was the way to Survive his brother and because of this it’s his defining and core personality trait. (how is he more functional than Maci is literaly tho lmao)

number two, though- is that Hypnos is NICE. He’s very deliberately purposely nice, again because he grew up with Thanatos, usually literaly at his side while Thanatos bullied his way through the underworld for years and years. And there went Hypnos slinking behind him apologizing quietly and trying to pick up any pieces he could (while being too afraid to confront him - but if he could make up for Than’s intense cruelty and general… asshole personally by counteracting with niceness then!! maybe that helps!!) hypnos’s single act of wrath was secretly cursing Chal with eternal insomnia out of sheer desperation (thanatos kept hurting icy what was he supposed to do!!) and even before he knew Chal was able to be redeemed he felt guilty about it every day. But Hypnos is an opposite balance to Thanatos AND to Maci, his best friend! he’s a foil! HES A FOIL!! Calm and nice with the respective most explosive and the meanest gods spending the most time at his side dfkfkfkf

18- What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? 

idk the last time Hypnos appeared or did anything in canon lol I think back when Chal got knocked up with N and was hysterical constantly Hypnos got called to put her to sleep a few times?? )you see this is his primary role lmao). BUUUT

Hypnos’ “newest” developments came during the dionysus adventures last year since deciding that Di was Pasi’s father meant, retroactively, that Hypnos and him surely had to have to interacted. WE ALLLL SAW THAT COMIC

So this led to the revelation that Hypnos is absolutely AND TO THIS DAY completely terrified of his father in law. Does Di realize this!! I think it’s actually infinitely funnier if he has no idea but realistically he probably knows - everyone SHOULD be afraid of him, of course, cheers ;) ok no but really Di reminds him of a more unhinged thanatos which. is. aahhhhh. AAAAAAHHHHH. AAAAAAAA—

the end sorry I wrote soo Much lmao!! if u made it t the end yayay ily

[covenofwives]

Until I catch up even more on the lore and end up with more detailed lore questions, here is a list of one off question I've had that are too random and also too short to be in an ask of it's own ahfkbsjs:

1. Do the gods have a heart? Any internal organs at all?

2. What is XDs favorite mortal game

3. What is XDs favorite item he's shown off from the mortal world to the other gods.

4. Can/do the gods sing? Can they use their multiple voices to harmonize with themselves.

5. Do the gods eat? If so what :0

6. Do the gods have birthdays, and do they celebrate them?

Oki that's all for now for random small qs

(no rush answering these, they're small questions but there's a good amount of them ahfkbdks)

-emmadoodlewrites

Quick fire questions! I love it!

1. Do the gods have a heart? Any internal organs at all?

Yes! Gods definitely have a heart. I am terrible when it comes to designing and planning internal organs (for example for XD's four arm thing to work then he'd need to have 4 pecs and 4 shoulder blades) so I'd say their internal organs and how they look inside are different. I have it sketched somewhere that XD's blood is glowy so it's probably different in certain ways but not others. For sure they have a heart though, no matter what form they take.

2. What is XDs favorite mortal game

XD honestly likes games were it shows off mortals competitive natures. Stuff like sports games and competitions. I like to think his favourite would be something simple like wrestling. Something one on one. BUT if we're talking fun party games then Truth or Dare is his favourite

3. What is XDs favorite item he's shown off from the mortal world to the other gods.

Brushes. :) The kind to brush hair and the soft fluffy variety.

4. Can/do the gods sing? Can they use their multiple voices to harmonize with themselves.

YES YES YES okay so for HD and 4K's voice examples they're both singers. And idk but I always pick out singing as good voice examples cause it just helps me cement a voice to a character better. So HD and 4K can sing for sure. HD used to sing sweet lullabies to baby George :( As for the double voice thing that's so interesting to think about! I'd have to say for sure because they have full control of both their voices so they could sing in english and then a more quiet, harmonising voice of their other language. XD I think has probably never tired to sing, but probably hums which I think could sound cool with his double voice.

5. Do the gods eat? If so what :0

The Gods do not need to eat for energy and simply eat for pleasure. XD joins in with meals but does not go out of his way to eat. His favourite stuff is savoury things like meat. HD likes to snack on fruits occasionally (though hasn't for a while since living in the Godly Realm) and his favourite fruits were strawberries and grapes.

4K. Is. An. Absolute. FOODIE. 4K loves food in all it's ways. He loves eating food, he loves watching people make food and he LOVES cooking. He is a lover of all flavours though he doesn't get to have/try many since the Nether doesn't grow much but it is a hobby he is always developing.

6. Do the gods have birthdays, and do they celebrate them?

Yes, and no. So, most of the Gods (especially the older ones) consider the day they turned into a God being their birthday rather than the day of their actual birth. Sort of like a reborn thing. And since majority of the Gods were all turned into Gods on the same day it's not so much a birthday but more a widespread holiday in all of the realms. HD and 4K are included with that. The only one to not have this mindset out of the God Siblings is XD, because his birthday and God day are on the same day, but he doesn't celebrate it. He only makes a fuss if it's Dream or Drista's birthday.

[snow-and-saltea]

for the wip teasing game: ❄️🌧️🌈

thank you krys!!! also i remembered why i dont do these often haha i always find it a pain to double check if im answering the right qs. i wish it was easier to do it on mobile somehow >:TT

❄️: snippet from a wip of my choosing

people looked at him for his beauty, but never more than a fleeting glance. for people of stellis, beauty—commonplace or otherwise—was all the same. although he was often lathered with both exaltation and trepidation for his silver hair and golden eyes, to stellis, to her, his sort of beauty was not one to be evangelized, but revered in a quiet awe. next to the joy of seeing cats in the street, next to the relief of seeing a stranger be helped with directions at a crossroad. under her gaze, he felt that the shadows that outlined his solitary figure faded and blended away with other-things, becoming some-thing different altogether. like who he was was in direct relation with the things he was surrounded with and was touched by, and it reminded him that the shadow he casted on the ground was not only his own.

about vynrosa! i kinda just wanna make the entire piece about just Worshipping rosa tbh

🌧️: something angsty from my wip

a few years pass, and albert went to live above ground because he didnt want to be like his father. he changed his name to vyn, because he didnt want anyone to figure out he was a noble from his name. eventually, he meets a girl named rosa, who is very brave and kind and passionate, and he falls in love with her. they have some Struggles, but eventually he tells her his full name—albert, and all the painful and heartbreaking things he experienced, and how that led to falling in love with her. they get together, but one day someone attacks rosa because they thought she was too loud mouthed about bad deeds that she was a thorn (haha) in their side. at her dying breath, he gives her another name: whirlpool in the water, a maelstrom, because whatever crushed her hurt him all the same, and a part of him followed her when she left. vyn was not raised a liar, and he had no beautiful things to speak of, so he said: “you are a maelstrom, that which pulls me beneath with you. when you die, my heart will follow.” he remembered vaguely that he was born from his father, the prince of beautiful things, and realised that beautiful things are also ones that die the quickest. he bought her into the water as her grave, and the blood that had seeped from her wound flowed and dyed the waters a deep red, the colour of wine. blood blossomed from her wound and she became a lotus upon the water. out of anger, bitterness and vengeance, he takes on the name richter instead—judge of all things, the most noble and righteous of anyone: that way, no one could take away anything from him ever again. and he becomes the wicked witch of the seas, making trades and granting wishes to fools in love, wanting to help them see through their love of beautiful things to its bitter end.

:3c vyn chara study / mermaid au!! tehepero!

🌈: soft / fluffy from my wips

the light will return. like a half-asleep child, tumbling and bumping into the corners of your bed to ask you for a hug. the light will return. it always does.

i don't even remember that i wrote this haha. i think i was prolly in the Depths of it that i needed to write something to remind myself to endure it for a bit more :'))

[spiraledfaun]

2, 14, 18, 20?

Ty for Qs!

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

It depends on what's rough about it! everything else can b rough and like hot and heavy, but if anything actually Goes Inside, u gotta b nice to me... so like. Rough coating but a soft inside ^-^

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Um so I gotta b real, whatever kinks are being invoked makes that decision! but probably receiving? but even that is rly specific,,, i've been told im pretty good at giving oral on all types of equipment tho :3c

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Wearing a special outfit? Oh ya, gimme some long socks n booty shorts n a hoodie tshirt ✌🏻

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

UMMMM so pls don't take this as a cop-out but my honest answer isssss a hypnotic tentacle monster?

i, i might b a monsterfucker slut oops 😅

THANK U FOR ASKING 💚💖💚💖💚💖