#these posts are going to be rambles that are purely just for me feel free to mute that tag if you don't wanna see em

[sapphic-haymaker]

Fio Media Log #1: Gen 1 Armored Core Trilogy

Armored! Core!

I'm a mecha gal. I love my robots. but I especially love me some clunky "real robot" style mechs. I only got into Armored Core with 6, and i've decided to take a plunge into the first generation games with, admittedly, not too high of expectations.

And lemme tell ya. I was pretty blown away at how fun these are!

Visuals

Let me start off with the visuals, holy shit do I LOVE the visuals of these games. I grew up with the PS1 as my first console, playing Twisted Metal (Darkside main btw) is one of my earliest memories. I really adore the games that have come out recently emulating the PSX style (Psuedoregalia, Signalis, Ultrakill, etc.)

The blocky aesthetic lends itself well to mecha. A lot of the genre likes to build it's robots in simple, blocky shapes so Bandai can easily make model kits of them, and there's no shortage of obvious design inspiration among ACs

The first mission, which subtly informs you of a theme of the series, has you being paid to go murder some workers striking for better pay and benefits and some other stuff that probably could've been bought with the money they used to hire a 5 meter tall death robot but hey. not our department.

The pitch black background and illuminated bridge makes for some lovely moody atmosphere. A LOT of 1st gen is going to be same-y hallways and tunnels but when they go through the extra effort to make a place look like a place it ends up very nice.

The Controls

Hooooo boy. This was a STRUGGLE for me at first. See this lil game was released a month after Sony's dualshock controllers, the ones with actual analogue sticks and not just a d-pad, hit the market. Which means this highly technical game is going to make you control deliberately hard-to-pilot machines without any sticks! (and they wouldn't add support for them until 7 years later!!!)

I found the stock control scheme where Up/Down was moving forward back, Left/Right was Turn, L1/R1 was strafe, and L2/R2 was aim up/down COMPLETELY unhandlable. Brain could not parse it. But to my shock there was an option in the game settings to rebind the controls! Making all the d-pad buttons be movement and all the shoulder buttons camera controls made things click right away. But that's just for basics. As for advanced movement…. welllll.

Meet [13th Toll], the build I did most of the game on after spending a lot of time experimenting and testing.

You'll notice she's a quad leg type AC! that's because the quad leg type trades the ability to boost on the ground for the ability to have consistent fast movement, meaning you can move fast without actually being good at the game's movement. It was absolutely a crutch but the game never threw anything hard enough at me to stop using said crutch. The gatling gun arms just felt better than any gun in the game having a huge amount of damage and ammo… at the cost of absolutely financially ruining me. @ @

See. Every mission in Armored Core has a base pay, occasionally bonus pay or penalties, and then that pay is deducted by how many resources you used in the mission. Repair Cost is how much damage you took, and Ammo cost is how many bullets/shells/rockets/etc you chewed through. And let me tell you the Gatling Arms are strong but they cost so much money to fire that i ended up LOSING money on several missions due to operating costs.

Scrounging for cash is definitely part of the AC experience, it's not shy about it's anti-capitalist messages, going into enough debt due to failing missions or not performing well enough actually resets the game, having your character undergo experimental augmentation to make them better at paying off the debt presumably (this is kind of an easy mode. I never triggered it as I wanted to do all three games without it. Felt like it was the authentic experience)

The control scheme as noted is incredibly clunky, but in a way that feels befitting of a mech. In AC6 the combat and controls are incredibly streamlined and feel as good as it gets for the most part. But AC1 takes a real-robot approach and imposes some serious limits to how you can move and aim. It genuinely feels like you're fighting the controls trying to aim at a fast moving plane or an AC boosting past you. It's a unique feeling that leaves the player feeling less like an ultra powerful death robot and more a poor pilot desperately wishing something could turn faster than it physically can. I'm a big fan.

I blew through AC 1 all things considered, aside from that horrifically frustrating final mission. (platforming in a game with the worst camera controls ever took years off my life.)

It wasn't a cakewalk per say, but i never felt incredibly pressed to improve my skill or optimize my build all that much in the game. I pretty much did whatever. Very enjoyable experience all in all. Where I think things get interesting is the first expansion…

Project Phantasma

Released a few months after AC1, Project Phantasma is when the game REALLY made me focus in on what i wanted to do and made me sweat. For the most part it's missions are about on par with it's predecessor, with one exception: The Arena.

The Arena is as straightforward as it gets, 49 Enemy ACs, one on one, no distractions. Best Pilot wins. The first chunk of the arena is a joke, but then, out of nowhere, comes

RANK: 30 PILOT: Brutus A.C.: Back Stab

You see this fucker? This was my wall. This is where the real pain train starts and Gen 1 starts to stop pulling it's punches IMHO.

Brutus is an aerial ace. You'll find that MOST of the ACs in the Arena absolutely LOVE to be in the air. this particular asshole has a sniper rifle that will literally stunlock you for long periods of time, is incredibly accurate, and generally just makes your life hell.

Quad legs could not carry me to victory here, they genuinely just do not have the maneuverability to dodge the incoming hailstorm of sniper shots. I tried heavyweight ACs, thinking i could simply outlast him, Dead Wrong. Heavyweights were even more of failure. All that armor did was prolong the inevitable.

This is where I had to bite the bullet and start using regular legs. You move absolutely pitifully slow when not boosting, but boosting takes energy, energy conservation takes practice and skill. I used these next 30 Arena fights to learn how to move and shoot in these games and the experience was so satisfying and rewarding. I felt like I was just as quick as the AI and soaring through the sky right along with them by the end of it.

Meet [Phantom Lambda], she is as fast as I could make her, she is as light as i could make her, she carries a new weapon in the Phantasma expansion, the WG-RFM118 Rifle. Along with a magazine on the back slot, a "weapon" that does nothing but increase the ammo count of your other weapons. 300 shots was consistently enough to take out most Arena opponents aside from the thick armored heavyweight powerhouses.

My weapon choice was simple. It has an absolutely MASSIVE lock on reticle. So I could focus all of my brainpower on movement and avoiding enemy fire. I still had to do a fair amount of aiming, the enemy ACs in the Arena get blazing fast. but this strategy ended up getting me all the way through the game. And suddenly I only had one Gen 1 game left.

Story Tangent

Project Phantasma tried a lot harder to have a consistent storyline which was fine, if a bit clunky. There's a big bad rival mech named Stinger who ends up being pretty pathetic as you thrash him again and again. You get all your jobs from a woman named Sumika who is also a AC pilot, and let me say, I was pleasantly surprised to see a woman in old mecha media that isn't evil and/or dead.

Master of Arena

Master of Arena had a lot more time in the oven than Project Phantasma, releasing in 1999 while AC1 and PP were both 97', and let me tell ya. It feels like a FromSoft employee was watching my Phantasma run over my shoulder when I first booted up the game.

So first things first. My strategy is in goddamn shambles. Not only is my FCS (part that determines lock-on reticle) significantly nerfed, my entire loadout has been nerfed to the floor in the ammo department. Magazines would give 50% more ammo per magazine in PP, and my rifle had 200 shots base. Now Mags give 20% each, and the rifle now only has 160 shots. Meaning I've went from a maximum of 400 shots to a measly 224. Considering how many shots end up missing and enemy AC HP, this means the rifle that carried me is absolutely not an option anymore.

Meet [The Rook], my intent was to find a middle ground where I wasn't totally made of paper like I was in piloting [Lambda Phantom]. Focusing purely on optimized utility in her design, I wanted something mobile, durable, and I needed to fit a weapon that had decent range and some nice damage, I used the WG-AR1000,a mid-range machine gun and doubled up on mags. This gave me a whopping 1400 bullets to bullet hose the competition down.

While the story missions weren't any harder than AC1 and Phantasma, the Arena didn't have a slow ramp up like it did in last one. Right away i was thrown into a fight with a lightweight aerial AC raining pain down on me.

I ended up playing a lot more aggressively this time around due to the machine gun's much shorter range, meeting opponents up-close in mid-air as abusing the RFM118's long range to plink away at opponents wasn't an option anymore. This lead to a lot of problems against enemies with similar weapons like gatling arms, where we mostly just ended up DPS racing eachother, but i only have to win once, after all.

Overall I really enjoyed these games. I think the first one is a fun lil time and onboards you to the systems well enough, and if you're hungry for more the two expansions offer a nice challenge. I'm currently debating if i wanna do the EX Arena in Master of Arena or if i wanna jump straight into Armored Core 2.

I highly recommend you try these out if you've played AC6, it's systems and clunky control schemes are very neat lil relics of game design that feel completely lost in the modern era.

[2smolbeans]

ive seen a bunch of posts about the brothers being obsessed with MC, but imagine the opposite? like MC getting jealous easily over one of the brothers and really possessive, how would they react? the brothers being twisted or not is up to you

Ahshfijwysiq!! Im gonna go on a HUGE ramble lmao- so bare with me. But oh man, I can imagine this being the case if that were to happen;

Mc was an angel from heaven who knew the brothers way before they fell. Every day for years or before time became a proper concept, Mc would stay by their side - fascinated by the way they would think and work alongside Micheal and all the other archangels. The brothers were their idols, something they could look up to, something they wanted to BECOME.

Truly, they were infantuated with the brother's to the point of borderline obession. Of course, they always put their god first, but whenever they weren't devoting their every being to their master- their mind was filled with nothing but the archangels that shined above them.

Mc's fellow angel friends became worried for Mc. Something about them was...Wrong. But they couldn't place their finger on it.

The brother's knew about Mc and their infatuation. Lucifer was the first to discover it before the others would soon realise how obessed they were for them.

Lucifer paid no mind to the lowly angel who fawned over him. It was adorable seeing the ways you devoted yourself to him. Bringing him offerings and words of sweet praise. He hated to admit it, but your sweet honeyed gestures fueled the pride inside him.

Mammon found you absolutely hilarious! The way you would go on your hands and knees just to please him was amusing, to say the least. Sure, he had a bunch of angels who adored him, but you were interesting. Shouldn't you be busy protecting the humans on earth? But over time, he could careless if you were doing your heavely duties or not if it meant that you were worshipping him with those shiny jewls you diligently handcrafted. You can say he got a bit greedy with your kind gifts..

Leviathan was not too fond of you at first. You should be doing your duties as an angel! Why were you so stupidly taking up your time entertaining his older brothers? He found it repulsing how you followed him around like a lost puppy while he ordered the army of angels. Though, he would soon warm up to you the day he saw you stalk him from afar while he visited the earth's waters - admiring the fish and aquatic creatures that happily flourished. You really were hoplesss weren't you? Eversince then, Leviathan clung to you whenever he was free from his duties. Often cuddling onto you while he happily rambled to you about the fascinating cultures and arts the humans had discovered on earth. But sadly, Leviathan would come to hate you out of the jealousy he felt when you began to talk to Satan.. You just loved to go around, didn't you?

Satan was shocked with your intentions when you approached him. Created by god to give Lucifer an angel who was made to follow in his footsteps- a leading example to the other angels on how they should obey and treat their superiors. He thought that you were just a simple angel, looking for advice on how to better the world and very self. But no, you were just fascinated with him for himself. Not for Lucifer, not for the knowledge he knew - but just for him? He was beyond confused. Why? That was odd. So when Asmodeus whisked you away out of pure curiousity, his calm patience had a rude awakening as he clenched his fist with a feeling he was too familiar with. Couldn't you have stayed a bit longer?

Asmodeus was absolutely ecstatic and thrilled when he heard about you from his brothers. A new friend?! Finally! Someone he could talk to! Asmodeus was constantly by your side, always excited to chat with you. How did you manage to talk to Leviathan out of all beings? What did Mammon say about him? Did you see Lucifer smile?! He was always bombarding you with questions that you were more than happy to answer. Asmodeus was a chipper angel who never failed to make you blush whenever he smiled at you. He would often take you to the human world, teaching you how to disguise yourself as a human while you explored the small villages.

Beelzebub and Belphegor were introduced to you through Asmodeus. They paid no mind to you giving them gifts while you happily followed them around. You were fun to be around with. You were comforting. So when they heard that you were close with their older brother's, they were happy. An angel who brought their family joy and entertainment, it was interesting. The twins were a bit skeptical with your behavior, talking amongst themselves about your intentions. You were a bit..Intense. Always fixating on the smallest things they did - pushing away the other angels who tried approaching them. You were always so frantic to be with them and them alone. Were you like this with the others? It didn't matter, though. You were harmless and sweet to them.

When the brothers fell and the celestial war broke out- Mc's illusion of the brothers cracked. They weren’t distraught by the change or the fact that they had fallen and killed their fellow angel kind. Mc was more..Heartbroken. They knew that they wouldn't see the brothers again. So why didn't they fall if they were so devoted to the brothers? Sure, Mc was in love with them- but.. Could they really leave the life they were so used?

You'd think someone so obessed, someone who spent their time worshipping them would follow them to the pits of hell, right? But no, at the time, Mc just stood there - watching heaven's establishment go to war. They had a choice. They weren't pressured to stay and kill their rebellious kind. They chose it.

So when the war had passed and the formation of hell and its establishments were made. Devildom forming on the surface of hell, building a society similar to earth's and the devil himself promoting an exchange program for the three realms to reunite. Mc was the first one to volunteer to attend the so-called 'RAD' education program. Especially when the seven lords of hell were there..

Mc was terrified when they stood there at the chair room, feeling their eyes stare directly into them. Did they remember them? Did they miss them? God, they wanted to hug them and cry on the spot. Staring at them, you felt a rush of nostalgia hit them. Even when they have fallen from grace, they are still always on top of the rest.

So now, onto the question.. How would the brothers react to Mc getting possessive over them?

Well, to be honest- they'd find it hilarious! Almost sad if anything..But still endearing. You've lost them in the past, so you don't wanna lose them again. You're constantly slaving away to their every request and demand. Frantically trying to win their affection and forgiveness. They've already forgiven you - hell, they've waited for the day you'd come back to them. But what's the fun in you knowing that? Plus, it's absolutely adorable seeing you so deseperately hoarding their time and attention for your own selfish needs. For an angel, you aren't really good at keeping yourself humble and graceful. They would have fun with you. Playing with your emotions while they keep you close to them.

"Mc..Do you really care about us? Sometimes it's hard to tell..Espically when you're barely there for us. So why don't you just cancel your plans and spend time with us. We can watch a movie and share our favorite snacks"

"Mc..You'll sleep with me tonight right? I miss the cuddles we used to have back then..You miss it too, don't you? Come on, who cares if you have homework. You came down here to see us afterall.."

"Today I went to the cat Café with Sylia and we got to see all the cute cats. It was adorable seeing her smile..I almost blushed when she looked at me..Oh sorry? Why are you upset Mc? Don't worry, I'll make it up to you okay? Now come closer.."

"Oh, you wanted to be there with me? Mhn..Sorry, I just prefered having them go instead of you. Sorry~ Awww don't pout honey. It's cute seeing your feathers all ruffled up but I hate to see you cry! Come here..I'll treat you to something much better~"

"Why do ya have my stuff? I know I'm absolutely irresistible~ But aren't cha supposed to be charitiable as an angel? Sigh..That's it, if you're gonna be stealing my stuff- you might as well move into my room. Oh what a shame.."

"Ugh, I really fucking hate you. You always move from one thing to the next. I thought you wanted to see me again..Do I have to tie you down just to keep you still? Seriously, it's like your asking for it."

"Starlight...I missed calling you that. Is it uncomfortable? You're not slipping away right? You can always adjust yourself if you're falling off my lap. You're hilarious, hexing those demons for insulting me. That wasn't really nice of you darling~"

.

.

It's addicting seeing their doting dove shove and push others away from them. Seeing how rilied up and frustrated they get whenever they dare look or pay any mind to anyone but them. How they would glare at the other demon while clinging onto them so shamelessly. Constantly shoving themselves into events or conversations they weren't invited to.

Most people would find it annoying. If anything- most of the demons in devildom found it annoying. But the brothers.. They found it amusing. You were so easy to manipulate, to control, to love. You'd swoon over the smallest of praises they gave you, uncaring about the atrocities they were capable of...

You miss them.. You even had a little shrine inside your room with their belongings! They've missed you too.. It's such a shame that you'll eventually return to heaven..

"You love us, don't you? You'd do anything for us, right? So why don't you actually commit to it and join us. Unless.. You want to abandon us. Just like before."

"You don't want to do that, right? The choice is yours."

[miguelsslvt]

miguel o'hara x cheshire cat! spider! reader drabble

word count: 580

TW: angst, fluff, literally makes no sense

A/N: basically as i'm writing a goth girl! reader smut, i was listening to the playlist 'alice by heart' and i just thought of a cheshire cat! spider! reader comforting a lost in grief miguel? i dunno, it probs dont even make sense. but maybe when i'm free next i'll write a smut fic of miguel going to wonderland to capture an anomaly and she ran into cheshire cat who offers him some 'distractions'? ;) anyways posting goth girl! reader smut soon!!! welcome to the club!! ^^

y/n l/n. alias? cheshire spider. from earth-444, also known as 'wonderland'. you were a skilled spider, but very irritating to miguel. he had allowed you into spider society purely for your good agility and strength. agility of a cat, powers of a spider. and the fact that you could disappear and reappear whenever you please was useful too.

on a day you wanted to bug and annoy miguel, you walked in at a bad time. he was looking through past images and videos of his daughter.

'..who's that?' you asked, as miguel's eyes widened in shock and anger. 'get out.' he said bluntly. 'no. who is that?' you asked. 'get out cheshire!' miguel snapped. 'no miguel i want to know who that is.' 'didn't curiosity ever kill the cat?!' 'tell me.' you snapped back. 'i'm sick to death of you cheshire! you just dk nothing but bug everyone, i'm sick to death!!' miguel yelled angrily, as you looked completely unphased. in fact, you smiled.

'looks like i hit a soft spot.' you said, smirking. you disappeared suddenly, your smiling disappearing last until it first reappeared beside the current video of miguel and his daughter playing together. '..y'know i'm actually good with grief?' you said. miguel raised an angry eyebrow at that. 'what?' he said, confused slightly. 'what, you think none of us cared when alice left us?' you said, raising an eyebrow. '..that's nothing compared to my pain.' miguel spat coldly. 'senseless, heartless. you won't ever give this girl's soul up?' you asked, tilting your head, miguel gave up arguing. he sighed, frustrated. '..my daughter. gabriella. i..i killed her.' miguel said quietly.

you looked down, nodding as you listened. '..was it a multiversal collapse?' you asked, as miguel nodded, looking down. '..some things fall away. you just have to accept them.' you said. 'how am i supposed so accept something so devastating?' miguel asked, sounding offended. '..just cry and it's a crisis. if you let your grief sink in, you'll be able to move forward. losing a loved one is incredibly hard, the mock turtles told me all about that, but you're living in shock here. your heart is cold. how can you protect the multiverse if you're so cold and distant on yourself, let alone your team-mates?' you said, raising an eyebrow.

miguel was shocked. for once, what you said made, some sort of sense. no mockery, no jokes, no riddle. did you genuinely want to help him..?

'i may not know how you feel,, but i'm sure that i can try to help you out of this rut.' you smiled softly. '..why are you so.. different?' miguel asked wearily. 'you're so mischievous, so snarky and sneaky, why?' miguel asked. 'hm.. i suppose that's how i was raised. wonderland is very different to nueva york.' you stated, sitting on his desk table.

'you mustn't grow up, you mustn't disobey the queen, you mustn't be late for tea..' you rambled, before smiling again. 'you mustn't hide within your shell of grief.' that caught miguel off guard. he let out a small chuckle.

'you're right, wonderland is very different to nueva york.' he said, looking down. you two sat in silence for a few moments, but it was.. comforting. the silence spoke thousands of words. it was a.. good silence. miguel hadn't heard of a 'good silence' in a while.

'..maybe you could come visit wonderland?' you offered, smirking. 'no way, cheshire.' miguel replied, breaking a small smile.

[lilac-witch]

Infatuation - Ruhn Danaan x Reader

masterlist

Summary: Ruhn had been in love before, but the love he felt for his mate was all-consuming. Meaning: "a really strong desire to be near or know more about someone" Word Count: 374 Warnings: Strong language

------------

It was blinding, the love Ruhn felt for Y/n. An all-consuming, mind, body and soul kind of love. A mating bond.

The intensity of their bond had always been there, from the moment the pair locked eyes during an Aux mission. The need to be around one another was like a burning fire. Unrelenting.

"You know, you can go and play pool with the guys."

Ruhn glanced at his mate, the blonde he had nestled into his side, the love of his life.

"No, I'm ok here."

Her green eyes crinkled in amusement, a light laugh falling from her luscious lips.

"You're allowed to have fun with other people, Ruhn."

"But I have plenty of fun with you."

The level of attachment between the two was laughable, their friends and family frequently commenting on how the pair were 'attached at the hip'.

Not that they paid much attention to their ramblings. They hadn't met the twin to their souls. They weren't in love.

Y/n pushed away from his, a hand sliding between his shoulder blades, encouraging Ruhn to step forward.

"Go, have fun with Dec and Flynn. I'll be here when you get back."

Ruhn lost himself in the forest green of her eyes.

"You sure? I can just tell them to fuck off."

"Oh yeah, I'll definitely be popular then," she laughed, face brightening in amusement.

Ruhn couldn't look away from the pure happiness radiating off of her. The light to his dark. The peace to his tormented mind.

"Who cares what they think. I only care about what you think," he said.

And it was true. Declan and Flynn were his brothers by choice, not blood. But Y/n was the air that he breathed, the water that quenched his thirst and the food for his soul. She was life itself.

"Careful Ruhn, Flynn might start calling you a simp," she teased, a hand coming up to brush away the stray strands of his black hair.

"Let them," he whispered, fingers finding the contours of her jaw. "I am completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with you. And nothing else matters."

That was the truth. It was him and her, against the world. Now and forever, however long that might be.

------------

Hi everyone! A short story coming off a few days of inactivity. Uni has me swamped so I'm sorry for the inconsistent posting. Please feel free to drop a request in the Letter box, and thank for for all the love you've shown so far :)

[frango-maconheiro]

wow, wow, interaction.

also, there's a stupid meaningless ramble i made out of this incredible petpeeve of mine with EW x reader stuff and it's just down the cut sggkjdfjkk (it's fr just me being extremely salty)

Anyway, hello!

Haha, my curious and lonely ass really thought it was a clever idea to read 'eddsworld x reader' content because it spawned in my timeline.... thinking that maaaybe they actually got good at it and made not too ooc stuff (this is heeeeaavily on matt content)

Now, i am profoundly remorseful of that choice because when i wrote this hours ago woth no wifi, i was arguing with the air.

Like, i won't lie on this. EW x reader.. They have evolved, a loooot since those 2017 fanfics (why were the x yn fics from eddsworld all copy-paste back then???) actually, it really surprised me because i definitely don't have the most cool memories of such fanfics,, Buuuuut, they still have that STUPID FAVORITISM. IT'S SO DAMN APPARENT. YOU THINK WE CAN'T SEE IT???

i get madder from down this line, especially since i was veery hungry when writing this. That's why you should always stay fed, keeps you slightly happier.

nhamnhamnhamm, writes aaall cool stuff for edd, tom 'n tord... maybe with an ooc here and there, but enough to ignore,, but matt? Matt gets so ooc, he can be mistaken for an oc if no name is given.

like,,, did.. did we watch the same dude on screen? i know he was pretty neglected in content, but cmon, what is that?? He's practically a romance repellent with his stupidity (said affectionately)

it's the same 'pipipipopopo just a sweet mama's boy' and 'ooo, he's sooo romantic, look at how much of gentleman he is compared to otheeeers' and 'whaao he so silly ::3 *treats him as if he weren't an adult character' and so much more, all in this weird stereotype

I guess i'm just disappointed,,, all because he just, idk, still feels downright boring compared to how the other 3 are written in these kind of fanfics even thought it's 2024 already and not still 2017-2020 (don't even get me started on the weird fixation on making yn extremely specific which fr also makes me crawl away like a wet cat from EW reader interactive content, they don't even put tags of the gender, aaaaaargh).

y'all definitely have more content of him to write than just the saturation of him painting your nails, or going shopping, or acting like he's the center of the world 24/7, or making him the pure lil' angel, or having his memory issues being downplayed as him acting 'so silly lil' silly', i assure you.

When i tell you i got so invested in this useless anger i mean that i got compelled into writing down a bunch of matt x reader to try and give that man a cooler image,,, and i don't even see him that way (nor any of the characters.) , but GOD ARGHHHV I NEED JUSTICE FOR HIM.

i might be just a lil' hot headed while writing this whole stuff, but this bro got stripped out of BOTH his classic and his modern funky personality in 99% of these fanfics and nobody bats an eye, like, ever, unless they're another fan of the character. Free my ginger rat, pleeeeaaaaseee.

I need any weirdo, edgy, funky, unusual, vampire, zombie(heavily on you zombie matt my beloved), slasher, funny, whack matt written content that is not only interactive BUT friendly to all readers...

i don't even care what Matt is written, modern, or classic. Both types have their own weirdo charm, and i am willing to analyze them for a nice oneshot or spitball post.... where you don't get to a restaurant/picnic and receives flowers and it ends like that, without any more depth of such cute cliche fluff it is, and leaving you like you just licked off the scraps of a dessert from a plate given to you, so damn hungry 'n wishing you had eaten an actual dessert instead of whatever that was.

[mykoreanlove]

Long distance with Taemin

- [ ] He loves his busy schedule and trips abroad but hates being away from you; he’d sulk all day not understanding why you won’t come with him

- [ ] The night before he has to leave is always spent with endless talking, cuddling and make out sessions until you both pass out from exhaustion

- [ ] He would always text you good morning, no matter how busy he is; he’d often call you, too, just to hear your sleepy, raspy voice that feels like home to him

- [ ] He’d be glued to his phone every free minute to talk to you; getting impatient when you don’t reply fast enough or leave him on read

- [ ] He’d always have the shiniest smile on his lips when something reminds him of you

- [ ] He’d always post a story on social media of things that are just typically you - a bouquet of your favorite flowers, a piece of the red velvet cake you like so much or a book you used to read with him

- [ ] Even though he looks innocent and pure, he is very in tune with his body and its needs

- [ ] Would never pressure you into anything, he’d rather give you time to evolve on your own

- [ ] Blushes heavily every time he gets a naughty selfie from you; excusing himself instantly to praise you properly in the space of his confined hotel room

- [ ] Always asks if your voice memos are safe for public after he had accidentally listened to you moan in a room full of people

- [ ] Will ask you hundreds of times if you’re really okay with phone sex; „only if you want to, baby. I’d never made you do something you don’t want. Let’s be comfortable around each other, ok?“

- [ ] He’d be rushing into his hotel room after ditching his crew and producers, to call you and listen to you rambling about your day

- [ ] Taemin always leaves you with a present to remember him by when he’s gone: a scented blanket, a giant teddy, a vibrator

- [ ] „Baby, can you turn it on? I want to hear you fucking yourself. Please let me hear you. Please?🥺“

- [ ] He’d be over the moon when you’d send him videos of you being needy - for him, his plush lips and massive cock

- [ ] He’d send you the dirtiest voice memos describing exactly what he would do to you right now -„… and then I will strip you out of your clothes and bend you over the table, admiring your juicy ass from behind before I’ll go down on my knees and lick you from behind. Would you like that, baby?“

- [ ] Those memos would typically come in the middle of the day

- [ ] He‘s a happy person by nature but staying away from you for more than a couple of weeks would be heavy on him; making him feel blue

- [ ] He’d often talk about quitting it all and running away with you; his one and only runaway bride

- [ ] „Yeah okay, I can keep going a little bit longer. But once I’m back it’s only me and you! You got that?“

- [ ] After living like that for years he’d be sure that you were the one; his partner in crime

- [ ] He’d be shopping rings in hopes that soon you won’t be long distance anymore

[hdra77]

Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself

!! DISCLAIMER !! Btw please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror,dark themes and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !! (they can be filtered through tags but just putting this here as a heads up)

tags are usually: #cw body horror, #tw body horror #cw gore, #tw gore, #cw suggestive, #tw suggestive

Heyy! i'm Soren!

He/Him

You can call me zarou or dra

I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)

i really like cybercore,webcore,warcore aesthetic it may not look like it right now but expect a whole bunch of techcore designs soon

Oh and i am also a huge fan of astronomy,space and all of that sort. Along with post apocalyptic settings,body horror elements and eldritch beings.

Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.

Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.

my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general

my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:

Rainworld

Marikinonline4

Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft

Warrior cats

My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)

Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-

My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!

My socials:

Twitter - HINDRANCE77 (!! page contains some suggestive themes !!) Youtube - HINDRANCE77 Tumblr - hdra77 (you are literally here right now)

My tags:

#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts

#fishdoesart - all my art comes here

#fishdoesdoodles - random doodles and some occasional shitposting, mostly on ms paint

#fishdoesrequests - all my art requests comes here, so far this is where you find my ship requests (still open for now btw)

#wips - wips

#fishbites.txt - ramblings

#othersart - gifts/fanarts! Sometimes some reblogs

#asks - all of my responses comes here

My other blogs:

@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!

@fallowclans-unruly-demise - for a warrior cats clangen blog, still stuck in hiatus void

My Rainworld AU tags:

#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too

#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?

#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes #into the sigverse - technically considered an au. this is just a silly little askblog about different versions of NSH interacting because for some reason they can now magically interact with different alternate universe versions of themselves. ocs being used to interact is allowed to!! anyone can use this tag however they please you don't have to send me asks to be a part of the sigverse

My Rainworld Oc tags: #Sector7c - official oc local group tag!

#7c dystopian arbitrary

#7c golden life

#rw ocs #ocs

-- still WIP --

[yaoiconnoisseur]

♠ Knight of Spades - Mari ♠

〈 Protector of Innocence 〉

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Ahhh I finally get to post this :D It was an honor to be able to contribute to the amazing project that is Yuri!!! On Cards from the Yuri!!! On The Web Discord server!

You can see the entire project via this masterpost! If you'd like more context for this gigantic YOI AU, head over to this blog post for an explanation of everything.

I'd like to give a massive shoutout to @arom-antix and @lines-on-ice for basically putting this all together and making this amazing idea a reality. I know Arrow credits me as one of the admins of this project, but I really only made a Google Drive and did a little research for the artists on how to format their cards haha

I had a ton of fun coming up with Mari's design as the Knight of Spades. I knew right away that I wanted Mari's design to reflect her Japanese heritage since the suit of Spades is a fully Japanese cast.

I've cut me talking about the art itself and my thought process while working on it so I don't nuke your dash, but if you'd like to read my ramblings feel free to

Making Mari a samurai was an easy choice since, one, that's basically what a knight was in Japan (albeit there was no legal binding between a daimyo and his samurai), and, two, I've always HC'd Mari as a protective older sister in the sense she'd be fairly hands off until someone made the mistake of bullying her little Yuuri.

I wanted her armor to be blue since that was the overarching color scheme for Spades, but choosing what blues to use was.. Difficult. There needed to be enough contrast between the different pieces of her armor to show that the armor is made of multiple parts while keeping the hues and brightness values close enough to still look cohesive. I also wanted to keep the blues relatively low saturated to bring our Mari's blonde highlights.

(As I was coloring her armor I realized half way through that I basically drew a Samurott ginjinka oops (￣▽￣*)ゞ)

I had originally intended for the sarashi (the belt) to be pure white, however when I put all the base colors down I realized the white was too much and pulled your eyes away from Mari's overall form. I knew having the belt be pure blue would make the belt blend in too much with the rest of the armor, so I ended up making the belt mostly blue with white accents as a compromise. I still wish the belt could have been white, but oh well.

As for the katana.. That was originally going to be pure blue, but like the belt problem, I had issues keeping the katana from looking muddied. I ended up trying five different variations of black/dark gray until I settled on what you see above lol. It was really difficult making the hilt of the katana look nice because if I went too dark with the blacks I would lose detail on the hilt, but if I went too light I would lose the contrast with the hilt's blues. As for the saya (scabbard/sheathe) I wanted it to be black, but I ended up matching it to Mari's armor instead because a black saya with a mostly black hilt somehow made the entire katana look flat.

The color palates I used for everything else was just me eyeballing her fleshtone and hair color through various screenshots I ripped directly from the show.

The background gave the the most trouble out of everything though because I'm not particularly great at making interesting, minimalistic backgrounds for my art. The card looked to plain without some sort of variation of color behind Mari, but since her armor was already so complex I needed a background that didn't take away from those complexities and didn't muddy the entire piece. I had originally planned to do a sumi-e type background, however I found that no matter what I did the sumi-e designs took away focus from Mari. Eventually I settled on a default abstract Procreate brush and drew lines until something stuck.

Overall I had a blast making this and also the borders for the rest of the cards! I learned a lot about how to format and prep digital canvases for making a card deck, too lol

[minniiaa]

Luffy’s transition from ‘cute lil guy’ to ‘he will blow someone’s back out so hard it’ll feel like they got hit by a goddamn semi truck but it was so good they’re begging for more’ needs to be studied bc he was always just a special lil guy with crazy abs but Wano made him a MAN (he’s still a special lil guy though)

I thought there was a 0% chance I’d ever simp for this little rubber man. Then I saw him in Wano and was like oh god. Oh no. After that, I finally started thinking about how Luffy would be as a lover (if you do not want to listen to me ramble feel free to stop reading here. My point has been made thank you for your time.)

(They/them pronouns bc I don’t think Luffy would think twice about a persons gender. He likes people for being who they are inside and is totally unfazed by “social norms”)

Luffy is def a virgin who never really considered sex. He would never be the one to initiate it first but if he deeply trusted the person and they told him it would feel good he’d do it without a second thought.

In the beginning he would be sloppy and pretty clueless, lots of teeth and tongue. But he has insane adaptability and sense for other’s emotions and after a little bit it would all make sense to him. Once he gets it they are toast and he’ll have them melting into a puddle under his fingers within minutes. He loves to bite and lick but he knows exactly how to use his mouth to drive the person wild. His kisses are harsh and definitely still sloppy because he’s greedy. He would slurp the person up like they’re grape juice and tell them how amazing they taste. He’s loud and talkative too, not afraid to tell and show them just how much he likes it.

Luffy also has ungodly stamina and even if his partner is already fucked out of their mind he’d just be like “sorry, can’t stop yet feels too good. just hang in there” until he’s had his way with them.

Afterwards, he’d be grinding against their leg like a dog in heat begging for more because he’s never satisfied. He’ll give up eventually purely because he can tell they’re exhausted and would never actually hurt them. He’d wrap them in his arms and give the best cuddles on the planet because touching the ones he loves is like a drug to him. He gives lots of praise and affection not just because he cares about them but because sex is almost as good as meat—both make him feel good and are delicious and just like meat he will always tell them that they’re so good.

Sex with this person would become Luffy’s favorite (well 2nd favorite let’s be honest meat wins) thing and after he got a taste of it that person is toast. He’s never letting them go. He’s finding them and dragging you away to the nearest private place the second he gets hungry for them. If he’s not fucking they they’re by his side. They’re in his lap or vice versa, he’s napping with them, touching their arms, or he’s just talking to them constantly like the rest of his crew.

As for romance, Luffy doesn’t really understand romantic love, he may or may not feel it but he simply doesn’t care enough to think about it. All that matters is that he wants that person by his side forever and would do anything to ensure it happens. He’d sacrifice himself to save their life without question. He’s a ride or die type till the very end.

In conclusion, Luffy would be the best lover/partner and this totally was not meant to be a Luffy character analysis/thirst post but here we are. I have no shame.

[banes-favourite]

Hello, you of so many wonderfully angsty Gortash headcanons... I'm looking for inspiration on situations that the little tyrant would cry? I... may or may not be kicking around a sort of '5 times a Banite cried + 1 time he didn't' kind of fanfic idea...

Ohh that's such a fun concept!! I have a few ideas constantly rattling in my head, but feel free to search through my #asks tag for more, I ramble a lot about him on there. (Also pls tag me if you ever post the fic!!)

(tw for abuse and child abuse below)

- The day he was sold to Raphael! Very underwritten scene but very angsty too. Did he notice his parents discussing it? Did he know? Did he try to run away and fail? The scene of Korrilla taking him away without his parents doing anything about it would be pretty angsty in my opinion, his first day(s) in the House of Hope too as he gets used to this new and strange environment.

- Anything with the House of Hope, literally anything! I think the idea of a child slowly learning the rules of being a slave would be tough, even if he was smart enough to pick up on them quickly. How fast was he in figuring out what he could and couldn't do? Was he punished often? I just bet he was, both physically as well as emotionally. Explore that! How does a child grow up in such a hostile and abusive environment?

- Bane Bane Bane. Religion in and of itself is a concept that can hide a ton of angsty subtext, and Bane's church is a particularly harsh one. Did Gortash struggle when he first joined it? Or was he the first to establish it after House of Hope? Either way, you can't go wrong with some good old fashioned religious guilt. Maybe he feels he's not working as hard as he ought to, or he's not as harsh as he'd like to be in his early days or he's just realised that he's in love with Bhaal's chosen. No matter the scenario, you could write about a Banite prayer of forgiveness and the self-torment that comes with it. Get creative!!

- Durgetash, just in general. Guilt, manipulation, forbidden romance, it's a can of worms but replace worms with angst. How did they meet? When did they start falling for each other? Was their first time together traumatising or liberating?

- Speaking of, have Durge react to Gortash's many flaws. An argument that quickly heads south and turns physical for example, that reveals Gort's scars from the House of Hope. Would he be embarrassed? Unbothered? Either way, Durge would want to know about them, with all of what that entails.

- Just write Gortash having a bad day. After Durge's disappearance perhaps, or just generally being stressed out. Overworked, exhausted, running purely on caffeine and cigarettes, have him cry over something small and insignificant (ie he drops his mug or misspells a word) that just breaks the floodgates open. Have him react with violence or anger or just straight up depression. He's a very sad character in essence, and that definitely should be used more.

Anyway, I hope I helped at least a little bit!!

[lennadanvers]

Hi! I'm Lenna (you can call me Len), 21 y/o, she/her, native Spanish speaker but most things here will be in English.

You're more than welcome to send asks, I love to read what you think/would like to read/want to share

You can find me in ao3 with the same name

This is a safe space for everyone, but there might be NSFW content, so please stay away from that if you're a minor

I'll mostly write for afab/fem reader x masc character bc that's just what I like to consume in the fanfic area, but I also post other stuff that you may like, so check that out

Yes, this list has even the stupidest things I have to say, I'm just a fan of having things organized and would probably bleed to death if I couldn't find a silly post I made five months ago. Feel free to go straight to the actual fics

Fandoms masterlist

COD:

- Thoughts on the 141: Charlie

- Soap:

Neighbor Soap, NS continuation

Dog Soap, More Dog Soap

Roomate Soap, pt2

Thoughts on Soap: piercing

- Ghost

Three times Simon wanted to hug you (and the one time he did): First Time, Second Time, Third Time, The First Time

Every coin has two faces (ask)

Mercy (ask)

Thoughts on Ghost: driving

Winter back home

Good Girl

Stranger Things

- Eddie Munson:

Good Boy Eddie

Eddie gives two tipes of hugs

Eddie's unrequited love

Dustin's Mom

Eddie's double heartbreak

Pure Imagination

Toughts on Eddie: nerd theater kid, flirting, ace Eddie

Danver's Delirium

This is mostly so I can keep track of my ramblings. These are just thoughts and stuff, but you can pick any number you like and see where it takes you.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

[munchboxart]

Possibly graphic (I drew something that involves melting faces + something that looks like a blood transfusion) but I'm just gonna be talking about my headcanon about the biology of Inkfish, so I will be going into blood details and such

This is such a long post so warning for that too

Ok so I've been floating around the idea of internal ink, which is what keeps the Inkfish's body structure.

To get this out of the way since I think I remember hearing someone mention about Inkfish not having blood because Ink sac make's them explode etc etc. I don't think Inkfish evolution would go as far as to remove their essential internal body parts, especially when blood is what keeps most creatures alive, especially fish. I still think Inkfish has blood and such. It's what keeps them alive and works exactly the same as all living creatures including us.

So what about internal ink? I believe there needs to be a set amount of internal ink that let's Inkfish control their body structure (like how they can switch forms and such). Though if one loses too much, they won't be able to hold their form for too long, which includes their internal body system and such and will die since their structure collapses.

I got this idea from how they melt/dissolve in water because there's an imbalance of ink (I forgot the word I'm stupid) and so they can't hold their structure because there's too much other liquid (if I'm remembering this right). Though they still come back from that (same with enemy ink and such). I don't know why, I don't know how, maybe there's just enough ink for them to recollect and coagulate together since it's not the internal ink that was lost (though I remember hearing that the ink sac is what explodes them or something, I don't know if this is right, if it is then ignore me for what I'm gonna say next).

If someone loses too much internal ink, I'd imagine you can get some sort of transfusion for that from another inkfish, either directly from the ink sac or maybe some sort of ink veins. Also since like, Inkfish output a lot of ink, I think there could be like, 2 types of ink, input and output. Input is a lot denser (aka the body), output is more loose whatever that means. So Inkfish can put out a lot of ink but still have enough to regulate their body.

How someone can lose their internal ink? I think you can lose it from having an imbalance for too long (so like your ink doesn't get recovered/inkfish soul thing that flies around after you get splatted(?????) stays too long in other liquids). Maybe you some how got separated from your other ink (in terms of physical distance) that you aren't able to regulate your body anymore. Maybe your ink sac being infected/too damaged (although if the exploding ink sac thing is real, then ignore the 2nd part). Maybe a mix of blood loss for fun? MAYBE you lost so much ink at once somehow and aren't able to recover in a short amount of time (maybe unlikely. Though possible for older Inkfish since they do dry out...). I don't know I didn't think this far 😭

Anyways the next part is me explaining the image above and it's purely just my insane rambling about JunMui, you're free to go.

Ok so I had the idea of Mui losing a lot of internal ink by losing so much at once that his body is having a hard time recovering, so Jun does a direct ink transfusion, but so much was lost that his structure also starts to melt. He's going to recover, it's just that it's going to take some time compared to Mui who lost way more.

Sorry this is a lot, ramblings of an insane person LOL Though feel free to let me know what you guys think, just don't be mean, I'm fragile LOL

I like to stick to canon too as closely as possible but I might ignore some stuff because 1 there's a lot of interviews 2 I'm lazy (sorry....) 3 I probably didn't know

[huntingrays]

For the Spotify ask thing:

27

If you have done it already sorry 😭🫶

27 - illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

so i think like originally it was going to like an actual affair but like neither of them would ever be cheaters so i just made this like a forbidden romance instead! the ending is a little rushed but eh. also ignore my random fantasy world building, i can’t stop rambling whenever i start. this took a lot longer than i expected bc writing for vg week but i finished those so we’re so back bby 😎

next fic may take a while to bc my thoughts went crazy with it…. but yeah this is just sad

Original Post

“Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else”

“You’re going out into the woods again? Seriously? If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re secretly dating a nymph.”

Leo winked at Piper. “Please. You know I only have love in my heart for my inventions and Festus.”

A look of mock hurt appeared on Piper’s face. “And not even for me? You’re so cruel, Valdez.”

Piper was Leo’s best friend at The Academy. Though he had other friends, like Percy, Calypso, and Annabeth, Piper was his best friend. She and Festus, his dragon, were the only things keeping him sane at the school. The Academy was grueling but it was the best school for fae. Though Leo was intelligent, he doubted he would’ve gotten in if he hadn’t been an elemental. A long time ago, there were a bunch of fae who were blessed by the gods, giving them the power to summon one of the elements. They were called the elementals. The gift could be passed down to their descendants, but it was rare. The Academy sought out any elemental fae to teach since it was a valuable gift. Leo could summon fire. He only knew of one other elemental fae, which was Percy, who could summon water. Fae were powerful magic users, but elementals were even more powerful.

Leo had no desire to be a fighter like many of the others in his class. Instead, he just wanted to be an inventor and dragon rider. Leo had already bonded with a dragon - Festus - so he was already solid on that goal. With how much time he spent on his studies and his forest escapades, he didn’t have much time to spend inventing. Most of his inventions were made out of spite whenever he was slightly inconvenienced. He would feel upset over something minor, like how long it took to preen his wings and would make a whole invention just to make his life easier (and the lives of his friends, as long as they paid him in food or favors to use his inventions - though Piper got a best friend free pass).

Leo had been at The Academy for years, ever since his fire powers developed when he was eight years old. Most other fae joined when they reached their teen years when the board could properly evaluate the power of the ones who applied and would choose the best of their applicants. Only elementals, like Leo and Percy, got in early, so The Academy could hone their powers better. Percy was very talented and strong; he was one of the top in their classes (only beaten by Annabeth). Leo wasn’t as gifted in the strengths or power department but made up for it in intelligence. With all his years at The Academy, he should have thought of it as a second home. Despite his years there, the place wasn’t even close to home. The professors were too strict, the environment too stifling, and the halls too cold. To Leo, his home was his mother and his friends. Most kids were able to visit home during the weekends, but Leo could only return home when their classes wrapped up for the year since he lived far away. It took a day's travel on his dragon to reach home. So, Leo could only see his mother for a fraction of the year. He sent as many letters as he could, but he still missed her dearly.

Around the end of Leo’s first year were when his forest escapades began. At first, it was just something pure and innocent, just Leo wanting a friend. As time went on, however, it became something more, something intimate. Now that he reached eighteen, he was certain he met his soulmate, met the love of his life.

Normally, fae would be able to tell when they met their soulmate - he remembered witnessing what happened with Percy and Annabeth, then their years of ignoring their bond - but it didn’t work if their other half wasn’t fae. Leo was sure there were other ways to check if his secret lover was his soulmate, but he didn’t care to check. He simply knew that he was the one for him, that he was the only one he’d love.

None of his friends knew about his lover. He knew they likely wouldn’t care, but they would worry about him. He knew how this would end but he refused to accept it. He knew his heart would be broken in the end, yet he still held out hope. He didn’t want their pity.

Different species had different opinions on relationships. With fae, they tended to accept queer relationships. With their magic and soulmate bonds, they tended to have no objections, especially with physical proof of love. Also, they couldn’t even object to them not being able to have kids. Thanks to fae magic, things like the same reproductive organs, infertility, or risky childbirth could be worked around. Leo couldn’t exactly explain how it worked since it differed due to many different solutions.

However, the fae weren’t entirely accepting. Though they may accept or merely tolerate queer relationships (it differs from person to person), interspecies relationships tend to be frowned upon. A lot of it was due to not being able to have kids (unless the partner was human) and no obvious proof of a soulmate bond. Interspecies relationships weren’t illegal, but those in them were often frowned upon and shunned.

Since Leo was in a relationship with a man who wasn’t fae, he was sure his peers would be scandalized if they found out, especially since he was an elemental. It wasn’t law, but elementals were encouraged to have kids so they could pass the gift on. They were strongly encouraged to have kids with other elementals since it would almost guarantee having a kid with the elemental gift. Leo was sure that if Percy and Annabeth weren’t soulmates then he’d be encouraged to get into a relationship with him. Leo felt lucky that none of the other elementals at The Academy were around his age. He didn’t want to deal with that.

Though Leo knew his friends weren’t bigots, he just couldn’t gather the courage to tell them. None of them knew, not even Piper.

He kept his secret and he intended to do so until he miraculously got the courage to fess up.

“Why should I have love in my heart for you? You stole my stash of sweets and ate half of them,” Leo responded to Piper.

“But I apologized for it!” Piper insisted with a whine. “And I even replaced the ones I ate.”

“Nothing could ever be as good as my mom’s sweets.”

“Also I convinced her to send you more!”

“She would have done it anyway because she loves me.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible. I hate you.”

Leo laughed. He strolled over to Piper and kissed her cheek. “Love you too, Pipes!” With that, he rushed over to the door and left the dormitory to the sound of Piper’s protests and complaints. He grinned as he pulled the hood over his cloak over his head.

The walk to their meeting spot was long. The path was confusing but Leo was sure he could do it with his eyes closed due to how many times he walked the path.

He discovered the secret spot when he went out walking after exams, drained and wanting a quiet escape. He’d been exploring a cave behind a waterfall when he slipped in the dark and tumbled down a path that had been nearly impossible to see in the dark. From there, he wandered until he was in a hidden grove. Leo wasn’t much of a nature enthusiast, but even he couldn’t deny the beauty of it.

Leo only had a few minutes to look around, admiring the flowers that grew so beautifully, unlike anything he’d ever seen, the glittering pond that was as clear as the sky, the trees that contained species he’d never seen before, and so much more. Leo concluded that it was enchanted, so someone could only enter through the path, invisible to everyone except those who knew about it and those like Leo, who stumbled into it unknowingly. It must’ve been hidden for years judging by how pristine and magical it seemed, with types of fauna that even Leo, a fae, couldn’t identify (though that wasn’t saying too much since Leo’s knowledge of plants wasn’t the best).

Leo would have loved to sit there all day, but his admiration for the place was cut off by a low growl. He spun around, his thoughts screeching to a halt when he saw the wolf behind him. He’d been expecting a wolf the moment he heard the growl, but he hadn’t been expecting a pup. The wolf had a beautiful mix of white and silver fur with clear, blue eyes. Leo didn’t know how to translate wolf years to human years, but he didn’t think the pup was much older than he was.

Leo should’ve been scared. He stumbled into a place that was unknown to him and now was faced with a wolf growling at him.

Leo wasn’t scared. However, he was a reckless idiot. Leo couldn’t help but find the wolf… cute. It was cute and highly amusing to Leo’s worn-out brain. He started laughing.

The wolf abruptly stopped growling, caught off guard by the fae laughing at him. Leo couldn’t stop giggling now that he started. “Aww, is the puppy mad at me?”

The wolf, angered by his taunt, started barking at him. Leo kept laughing and mentally concluded that the wolf must’ve been a werewolf, judging by how he seemed to understand Leo. “You aren’t intimidating at all, puppy. Your barks are too cute.”

The wolf growled in warning before lunging at Leo. Leo easily dodged the attack. Leo must’ve had a death wish because he kept taunting the wolf. “Is your bark worse than your bite? With a bark like that, I’m dying to see how pitiful your bite is.”

They kept up their little squabble for a few minutes, with the wolf trying to attack Leo and with Leo dodging seamlessly and taunting the poor guy. Eventually, the wolf got tired and fed with Leo. He waited until the right moment to strike, when Leo took a step back and stumbled over a tree root. Before he could right himself, the wolf lunged at him but transformed back into his human form mid-attack. In a matter of seconds, Leo was lying on his back in a strange grove, pinned to the ground by a very pissed-off boy who had a firm grip on his wrists.

Leo was right with his age estimate. The boy looked to be the same age as him, with short, blond hair, sky-blue eyes, and a small scar on his lip. He looked pissed enough to kill Leo, but Leo wasn’t scared. He hummed as he evaluated the boy. “You were cuter as a puppy.”

The boy’s grip on his wrists tightened. “Shut up! I could kill you if I wanted,” he growled out. Leo was being threatened but he couldn’t help but find the boy cute. He was trying so hard to be scary, but it wasn’t working on Leo in the slightest.

“Uh-huh, sure you could, puppy,” he shot back.

The boy glowered at him. Leo continued to grin at him.

“What are you doing here?” The boy asked. “You don’t belong. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Would you believe me if I said I wanted to see your cute face?” Leo asked. The boy was silent, continuing to glare at Leo. “I just stumbled upon it, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to enter any private, magic, wolf property.”

The boy suddenly halted, confusion dawning on his features. He tilted his head as he puzzled out his words, which made him look even cuter than he already had. “What? But that’s impossible. Unless…”

Suddenly, the boy leaned down, sniffing at his neck. Leo couldn’t even make a snarky comment about it because the boy suddenly jerked back, his eyes wide. He suddenly moved off of Leo, stumbling a few feet away in his haste to get away from him. Leo sat up, frowning in confusion. He didn’t get the whole scent thing with werewolves, but he felt a little hurt that the boy disliked his scent so much.

The boy looked furious. He looked even angrier than he had earlier. He was so angry that his body was shaking with it, face red.

“Go. Now.”

Leo quickly rose to his feet, confused and finally a little scared. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on your space. I promise I won’t-”

“Go!”

The boy looked away from Leo. He walked away to a tree stump and sat on it, sitting with his anger as he ignored Leo. Leo wasn’t sure what he did. Did he smell that bad? He made sure he bathed regularly. Did he just naturally smell awful but only to werewolves? He wasn’t sure but he didn’t want to upset the boy anymore. Teasing him had been fun but this was something else, something different. He seemed genuinely pissed off.

Leo paused before taking off one of the thread bracelets he was wearing. One of Leo’s friends, Annabeth, had taught him how to make magical bracelets to help him destress before finals. Finals in general were stressful, but it was even more so for Leo since he was so much younger and behind his classmates. The bracelet-making had helped him destress a bit. Of the bracelets he made, only two were decent. One was a red one that he was still wearing and the other was a light blue one that he’d taken off.

Leo gently placed the bracelet on the ground, near the boy. “I’m sorry, really. Here, you can take this gift if you want.”

The boy’s shoulders tensed. Leo didn’t want to get into a genuine fight, so he fled, leaving as quickly as he could.

Later that week, he heard rumors around The Academy about a werewolf pup that had been spotted lurking around the grounds. The students didn’t seem to think it was a threat, it was just a pup that ran off whenever anyone got too close, but it was strange. Werewolves lived nearby - there was even a huge wolf pack located within their town - but they tended to stay away from the school.

Leo would bet money that the pup was the one he met earlier that week.

Leo waited until the evening, when the grounds were nearly empty, to sneak out of the dorm and wander off into the woods right off the grounds. He wandered around, hoping to find the werewolf pup and not wind up torn apart.

Leo found the werewolf within a minute of wandering around the woods. He paused, staring at the wolf pup, who stared back at him. The wolf walked over to Leo and grabbed the hem of his cloak, tugging on it.

Leo quirked an eyebrow up at the wolf. “Do you want me to follow you? Or do you just want to eat my cloak?”

The wolf growled and continued to pull on his cloak.

“Okay, okay, I’ll follow you! You know, you could shift back and talk to me.”

The wolf ignored him and let go of his cloak. He walked off and looked over, waiting for Leo to follow him. Leo sighed and followed the wolf.

The wolf led him to the secret grove. Once they were there, the werewolf finally shifted back into his human form.

The boy fixed him with a firm stare.

“You smell weird,” the boy told him.

“Is that why you suddenly got upset with me?” Leo asked.

The boy blushed and looked away, fiddling with something on his wrist. Leo realized it was the bracelet he’d given him. He felt happiness fill his chest.

“More or less.”

“And… why did you drag me back here?”

The boy shifted on his feet. Leo could tell he was nervous and unsure of himself, that he was wondering if he wanted to do what he was about to do.

“I was thinking… we should become friends.”

That hadn’t been what Leo had been expecting.

“Really? You want to be friends with me, puppy?”

The boy scowled but quickly cleared up his face, appearing calm.

“Yes, even if you are annoying. This place… it thinks you’re worthy, so you must be an alright person.”

Leo looked around the place. “It’s very beautiful. What is this place?”

The boy seemed to calm down. He looked around the place, a small smile on his face. Leo thought he looked the best when he was smiling. “It belongs to my family. It’s been in our pack for generations. The future pack alpha is decided based on whoever this place grants access to. My family have been the pack leaders for three generations.”

“So does that mean I can become pack alpha?” Leo asked with a teasing grin.

The boy rolled his eyes. “Obviously not. You’re a fae, not a werewolf.”

“Then why am I allowed in here?”

The boy suddenly looked nervous. His cheeks flushed as he looked away. “It’s… complicated. Let’s just say it thinks you could be… a trusted companion of mine.”

“Does my new puppy companion have a name?”

The boy didn’t look upset or done with his teasing for the first time. Instead, a glint came to his eyes and he smiled at Leo.

“Jason Grace. And does the little fairy have a name?”

Leo barked out a laugh. He thought they would become good friends. “Leo Valdez. You better not forget it, puppy.”

And he didn’t. Their friendship slowly grew after that day. They would meet once a week every week Leo attended school until they were fourteen, which caused them to meet up much more often, practically every other day. Their friendship had been innocent at first, though Jason had a habit of giving Leo gifts. After they became friends on that fateful day, Jason had given him a crescent moon necklace, his face bright red as he put it on Leo. Leo wore it constantly. He rarely ever took it off, it was his prized possession. There came a point where the bracelet Leo had given Jason had worn down and would also no longer fit on his wrist. Leo offered to make him a new one, but Jason refused. Instead, he just attached it to his belt. Leo felt touched that he still kept the silly, little thing.

That wasn’t the only thing. Jason not only kept giving him random gifts, mainly food but also kept scenting him. Leo didn’t get the whole scent thing with werewolves but he let Jason do it anyway since it made him happy. He wondered why Jason would do something so risky. He thought it might cause complications if one of his pack smelled the scent of the future pack alpha on some fae student. However, Jason had assured him it would be okay, so he never brought it up. Besides, he didn’t know anything about werewolf customs and traditions anyway. Scenting could be a thing friends do.

Their friendship went from when they were eight to fourteen. At that point, Leo had feelings for Jason and couldn’t keep being just friends with the boy. So, he gathered up his courage and confessed to his friend.

After his confession, Jason just looked puzzled, tilting his head to the side. “I would hope you have feelings for me. It would be awkward to be courting someone who didn’t even like me.”

That was when they realized there had been some misunderstandings due to differing customs. Apparently, when Leo had given him the gift of the bracelet, without specifying what kind of gift it was, it was a signal that it was a courting gift, that it was a message that he was open to courting. Then, Jason gave Leo the necklace, which he not only accepted but wore every day. So, Jason had been courting him from that point forward. Leo asked why he wasn’t courting Jason if he gave Jason a gift, to which Jason rolled his eyes and told him that it was because fae don’t court others, courting was a werewolf thing.

Jason figured Leo must’ve known he was courting him since fae were supposed to be smart and Jason was doing everything you’d find in a basic courting guidebook. He made it as obvious as possible.

That confused Leo, though. “But why would you want to court me? I was such a little shit to you back then.”

That was when Jason got flustered and explained what true mates were. Apparently, according to the laws of their secret meeting place, the only people who could access the place were the pack alpha, the future pack alpha, and the true mates of the pack alpha and future pack alpha. He said that werewolves could tell who their true mate was because of their scent. Leo didn’t understand the whole scent thing, but Jason just said that the scent of their true mate ‘smelled right.’ He said that it was a scent that was most pleasant to them, that it somehow conveyed that they were the one.

When they first met, Jason was so upset because he found out the mean fae who bullied him was his true mate and thought the world was out to get him. He was determined to ignore it but, after being around his pack witnessing Hazel, a new addition to their pack, and Frank realizing they were true mates, he decided to give it a second shot. He figured he could court Leo and see if they would work well together. They had, and the two had been courting ever since.

“So, how do we get together after courting?” Leo asked.

Jason grinned and moved closer to Leo. He moved a hand to Leo’s neck, touching it gently. “Well, full werewolves have a mating ritual but we can’t do that since you’re not a werewolf. But… you can kiss me. You kiss me and I bite you, making you my mate.”

The two of them should have thought of the ramifications of a fae smelling like a werewolf and sporting a mating bite, but they didn’t. Instead, they were two dumb teenagers who were in love. Leo had kissed him and Jason had given him the bite.

Ever since that day, Leo wore shirts with a high enough collar to hide the bite, which wasn’t hard considering it was on the junction between his neck and shoulder. The two had been happily together since then.

Leo was brought out of the memories and into the present as he walked into the hidden grove. Jason was already waiting there and he beamed as he saw him. “Hey, puppy!” He bound toward Jason but frowned when he saw the expression on the other boy. He looked stressed and in mourning. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Jason looked up at Leo, his expression faltering. He stood up, pulling Leo into his arms. Leo paused, his hands slowly coming up to rub his back. “Puppy?” Even after all the years, his teasing nickname for Jason stayed and became affectionate.

Jason nuzzled Leo's neck before pulling away. He looked pained like he was about to do something he didn’t want to. Leo felt his stomach doing nervous flips. “Jace?”

“We need to talk,” Jason murmured, sounding more serious than Leo had ever heard before.

“What’s going on?” Leo wanted to make a joke but his brain wouldn’t work. He couldn’t think beyond his racing thoughts, wondering what happened to Jason. Was he okay? Was he hurt? Did something happen to his pack?

“One of the members of my pack found out about us,” Jason explained.

Leo felt his stomach drop. He knew they weren’t subtle, but he never thought this day would come. “Seriously?”

Jason nodded, expression growing grimmer. “Yes. He brought it up in a meeting. It caused a huge argument in our pack. I told them you were my true mate but they didn’t care. They… decided what to do going forward. They said… that we aren’t allowed to be together. I’m supposed to lead the pack and create future generations. They wouldn’t accept an outsider as my right hand. They wouldn’t accept… half-breed children. They’re going to set me up with a werewolf girl from another pack. One of the members of my pack is going to meet you next week to magically snap our mating bond. The bite will end up healing, but not fully.”

None of this made sense. Going into their relationship, they both knew this was a possible ending, that it was the most likely ending, but he never thought it would come. He felt like he was dreaming and this was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up to a reality where this wasn’t happening.

“Are you serious?” Leo asked, his voice trembling. It was useless to ask such a stupid question. He knew the answer. Jason would never lie to him.

Jason nodded. “I’m serious. I tried everything I could but with no luck. My dad was having none of it. He’s still the pack alpha, so I have to listen to him.”

Tears burned in Leo’s eyes. He furiously blinked them away, not wanting to show Jason how much this hurt him, but some tears managed to slip out and roll down his cheeks. Jason noticed and carefully wiped the tears away.

“Why do we have to listen to those stupid, stuck in their ways werewolves? Why can’t they accept us?” Leo asked, his voice cracking.

Jason pulled him into another hug, holding him close. Leo let himself cry into Jason’s shoulder.

“I don’t know. If I knew how to change their minds, I would. I'm sorry. I didn’t want us to end like this.”

“Do we have to?” Leo asked, his voice small.

He heard Jason inhale sharply. “I think so. The pack will be watching me closely until my new mate arrives. After she comes and the ceremony is done… well, it won’t be pleasant to… be with anyone else, romantically or sexually. Also, she’ll be able to know my emotions and some of my thoughts from our bond. I know my pack. They will choose someone who will be loyal to them. I don’t think we’ll be able to slip one past them.”

“Well, can’t we just… run away? Can’t we leave all this behind us? We’re adults now. We could leave and go live on our own,” Leo suggested.

He heard a heavy sigh. Jason pulled away from the hug, looking sadly at Leo. “As much as I love you, I can’t do that. My pack… I love them so much. They’re not just my family, they’re so much more. Even if their views are backwards, they’re still my pack. I can’t leave them.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” Leo asked, getting angry. “You would do it if you truly loved me.”

Jason’s expression turned stern and Leo realized he might have crossed a line. “I can’t. You want me to leave behind everything I know and everyone I love. Would you leave behind all your friends and family if I asked you to? Leave your friends without any way to contact them since you’re now a traitor? Leave your mom abandoned and alone?”

Leo hadn’t considered it like that. He hadn’t thought about Jason, about all his friends and family he would be leaving behind. If he left a traitor, he wouldn’t be able to contact any of them. Leo wouldn’t be able to do that. He thought he might be able to do it if it was just his friends he left behind, but not his mom. Leo could never abandon his mom, never leave her behind. He loved her more than anything. He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry.” His hands clutched Jason’s shirt. “I don’t want to say goodbye. I… can’t lose you.”

Jason gave Leo a sad smile. “I know. I feel the same way. I wish we could be together. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. You’re… one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’ll never, ever forget you. Not even the gods could make me forget my love for you. I… don’t know how I’ll get over the loss of losing my other half, of losing my better half. I love you, Leo Valdez. I always have and I always will.”

Leo felt completely hopeless. This was it. Their relationship was ending. This wasn’t a nightmare he could wake up from or an illusion he could snap out of. He would never be able to see Jason after this. He would be losing not only his soulmate but his best friend as well. It felt wrong that the world wasn’t ending when it felt like Leo’s world was crashing around him. He didn’t know how to go back to his normal life after this. Leo signed up for this life and this inevitable pain, but it was so much worse now that he was finally feeling it. He cursed the gods and every being he could think of. He cursed their lives. He cursed their forbidden love. He cursed Jason for making Leo love him. He cursed himself for making Jason go through this pain.

Leo leaned in, kissing Jason even as tears streamed down his face. It was a sorrowful kiss, filled with their sadness and mixed with the salty taste of tears. Despite never wanting it to end, Leo slowly pulled away. Jason was crying now. Leo hadn’t ever seen Jason cry before.

“I love you. I love you so much. I wish we could be together. Maybe… someday in the future. I don’t think I’ll be able to love anyone else. Maybe… we’ll be able to be together, whether it’s in the future, our next life, or another universe. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I have to. There is no world in which I wouldn’t love you. I love you, Jason Grace. I always will.”

Leo took a few moments to admire Jason. This would be the last time he would ever see him. He took in all of him, all the features he grew to love. He was still so handsome, even when crying. It wasn’t only his looks but all of him, all of Jason. Whatever werewolf they chose for Jason would be lucky to have him.

With what little strength he had left, he kissed Jason’s cheek before turning and leaving. He didn’t let himself look back. He knew if he did, he wouldn’t ever be able to leave. He hesitated for a moment at the entrance of the grove before leaving. Jason didn’t call after him. Leo didn’t stop or look back.

As Leo walked back to The Academy, tears streamed down his face. He didn’t know how he’d explain away his red eyes to his friends. He figured he’d finally tell them the truth.

The only comfort he had was that they would have a chance to be together in another life, in another universe.

What he didn’t know was that the two of them were doomed in every life, in every universe.

[rosemaryreaper]

“Are we the baddies?”

Another post-Blind Betrayal snip! Set earlier in the timeline than the last one I posted. At Listening Post Bravo, Haylen has a sleep-deprived identity crisis. Danse hasn’t completely worked out the finer points of this whole “emotional support” thing, but he’s trying.

Overall not too dark, but CW for death mention and a brief implied reference to a suicide attempt related to the canon events of Blind Betrayal. So with that, uh, enjoy?

* * * *

Obviously choosing his words carefully, Danse said, “You look tired.”

“Shift change,” Haylen said, deliberately not looking up from her task. “Half the station’s knights got sent to the front. It was supposed to be temporary. Just until we ‘won’.” She made air quotes over her shoulder. “Naturally most of them got shot. Or blown up. Not Cal. He got stabbed in the neck with a flag pole, for variety. I saw his body later. Points for creativity.”

Danse made an unintelligible noise in his throat. She knew she sounded unhinged. She didn’t care.

“Of course Rhys has been going on and on about how we’ll avenge them. We’ll make sure their deaths mean something. Like that’s even possible. Like that’s supposed to make me feel better.” She wrenched the plate off the suit’s arm with more force than necessary. It hit the concrete floor with a harsh clang. “Such a waste,” she muttered, driving the screwdriver between the exposed struts. “Such a waste. Who are we even fighting? Because it’s definitely not the Institute anymore. Maxon makes it out like we’re against some great enemy of the Commonwealth, and I would almost believe that—if they weren’t farmers. Not ferals or mutants or mad scientists—honest to God farmers. We’re fighting the people of the Commonwealth to protect the people of the Commonwealth. What kind of rad-addled nonsense—”

The screw refused to budge. She hit the screwdriver against it for no reason other than to make a sound. In the corner of her eye, Danse held a hand out in offering. She ignored him and tried again.

“I’m sure there’s more to it than that,” he said.

She exhaled through her nose. “There is. Of course there is. The Minutemen helped the Railroad. The Railroad helps synths. All synths are bad. That makes the Minutemen bad. End of story. Except, I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe even that anymore when you—”

She didn’t complete her train of thought. She didn’t need to when she met his gaze on a whim, just in time to see his raised brows lower and knit together. His hand was still outstretched.

She didn’t know how close she had come to losing him, when Delaney had tracked him to this bunker. I got there in time, Delaney had said. In time. How many seconds had been left in that time? Had the gun already been in his hand, the barrel already tucked beneath his chin? The example, not the exception, he’d said. All threats had to be eliminated, even if their only crime was simply existing.

But he was Danse. He had always been, pure and simple, Danse.

“I’m rambling,” she said, unnecessarily.

He stepped into her space, pulling the screwdriver out of her grip as he did so. By virtue of being a foot shorter and half his weight, she had no choice but to move out of the way. He took over the battle with the stubborn screw, which gave way bit by bit.

“You should rest,” he said. “When you’re tired, your work has a tendency to become…” The screw twisted free. He pinched it between his thumb and forefinger. “…uh, inefficient.”

She would have preferred he’d stabbed her with the screwdriver.

Her silence must’ve registered, because he looked up from his progress with the next screw. “You know better than to take offense to that.”

She did. She hadn’t—not to anything he’d said out loud, anyway. It didn’t change the fact that she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Or vomit. Whatever would get rid of the hot, sick feeling that writhed all the way from the pit of her stomach up to the base of her throat.

“I don’t want to be a scribe right now,” she said quietly, before her brain had the chance to manually approve the words.

Too late, she realized they wouldn’t have passed peer review—because Danse looked at her like she’d grown two extra heads. But she couldn’t take them back now.

“Is it too much to ask for a single minute as, I don’t know…just a person?”

With a rare touch of wryness, he said, “You’re asking the wrong nonhuman.”

“You’re a person.”

“Not the same way you are.”

“I’m a soldier. Lately, it hasn’t felt compatible with much else.” Less and less so each day this pointless war went on.

“What do you want me to say, Haylen?”

She wished she knew. She had the horrible suspicion words didn’t exist to describe the horrible sick feeling, never mind to ease it. So, she did what she did best: she backpedaled, and she pretended like it didn’t matter.

“Nothing. I’m exhausted and angry and grieving. I’m not thinking clearly. Forget I ever said anything.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” He hooked the screwdriver on his belt, giving her his full attention. “I’m concerned.”

She fiddled with her glove, not trusting the wrong words to stay put if she opened her mouth too wide. “Sorry.”

“Are you thinking of quitting? Leaving the Brotherhood?”

“No.” She said it too sharply. Danse’s brows raised, even as she softened her tone. “Of course not. The Brotherhood’s family. Where would I even go?”

[our-lesboy-experience]

hello, questioning lesboy here? just wanted to ramble a bit in a safe space, you don’t have to say much of anything in response if you don’t want to.

i’m genderfaunan. it’s similar to genderfaun, the difference being that it means i *can* experience feminine genders, but only if they’re masculine in some way, making them androgynous. personally, i still don’t have them very often.

i definitely experience some sort of queer attraction towards girls. i’m not quite sure *what* kind of attraction (not sexual. romantic?? queerplatonic?? other???), and i get dysphoric if i’m called a girl (even during the rare times i am kinda one. :/ ) i used to call myself panromantic, but nowadays i prefer to use the label achillean. i like putting emphasis on the mlm/nblm/nblnb aspect of my identity, and achillean implies that maybe i’m attracted to girls without saying “this person is for sure attracted to girls in these specific ways.”

but as i was reading through your blog a while ago during my quest to learn more about “contradictory” labels, i was surprised to find that i kind of like the term lesboy? idk if it’s just because “boy” is in the name, and my brain is going “look!! look!! another way to call yourself a boy!!” but i don’t hate it.

i’m hesitant to call myself a lesboy though. it puts a word to the basic idea of “boy(ish) and experiences queer attraction to women,” but i’m worried it’ll still cause me dysphoria. and there’s a couple of people in my friend group who are very against the whole “contradictory labels” thing, at least the last time i talked to them about it. there’s maybe been a few signs a couple of them have changed their minds? i’m at the point where i don’t really care what they think, and i have a few good links to share if the topic is brought up again. but still.

(i have similar feelings about the label boydyke. i might like it slightly better? purely because it puts “boy” first and that could lessen any dysphoria? saphboy isn’t too bad either. honestly, i might end up choosing between labels based on flags alone skdhsk)

…and that’s pretty much all. just wanted to write out my feelings in an anonymous place where people with similar experiences could have the choice to respond. if anyone knows of any similar labels that they think might fit me better, definitely feel free to suggest them!

(also, mod, i saw your post about you taking a break, and i understand if you don’t answer this for a while. hope the internet and elsewhere gets kinder to you <3)

thank you for sharing, I get being worried about the possible dysphoria when trying on these labels. lesbian, dyke, sapphic, etc. still normally have strong connections to womanhood, even if not inherently. also another reason why I think these labels that specify and put an emphasis on how exactly you describe yourself with them is helpful. I like being a lesbian (most of the time) but I love being a lesboy because it acknowledges my bigender/genderfluid identity, it puts the most important parts of myself into one word. no one is making assumptions about my gender, or even really anything else of what I can and can't do because of it being known among inclusive communities