#these notes are mostly for me lol Hopefully I can remember how I went about this going forward | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cinnamonest · 3 years ago

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I’ve actually gotten a lot of requests over time similar to this so I’m finally getting around to it!

Boys’ “Type” of darling:

I kinda went with the general "type" of darling they're most likely to aim for. Some of these I did more of a personality type, some more of a role the darling might play in their lives, or both. I've discussed a couple of these concepts before as well but this serves as some elaboration for the things I've talked about before.

Keep in mind that, much like body types, it's not exclusive and yanderes often find themselves weirdly falling in love with someone they normally would not see as their type because, well, that's how unhealthy obsessions work, but this is more like the types of people they're likely to intentionally target. But basically what I'm saying is even if you're the opposite, don't worry, you're still not safe --I mean, you're not excluded from their love <3

WARNINGS: NSFW, dark content -- the boys are made to be Bad People™, noncon/dubcon (especially rapey for Childe/Scara sections), age gap mentions for Razor, Xingqiu and Venti (or rather, darling believes there's an age gap for Venti even if it's actually the reverse lol), maternal complexes, Kaeya's and Albedo's are particularly dark regarding taking advantage of vulnerable people (includes abusing medical conditions and workplace sexual harassment)

Also note this is also mostly fem reader and explicitly mentions this.

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Kazuha: Childhood friend

Ok hear me out: Kazuha is an ideal candidate for "long-lost childhood friend" trope.

Kazuha often tends to find himself returning to his past. Not only his departed friend and his life throughout Inazuma, but that itself leads him to think about other lost bonds, warmth of companionship that slowly dimmed and died out with time. He remembers you. Your clans were friendly with one another, perhaps. You were a friend he had in childhood, a warm memory of a better time, and when he closes his eyes, he can still just barely remember your face. But that memory grows more and more blurry with each day. He often recalls some sort of specific memory that he plays over and over in his head, a time you brought him happiness and comfort. Once when he hurt himself playing, fell out of a tree or something and cried and cried, and you just held him tight and helped distract him from the pain. Or once when he lost something important, someone bullied him, something happened in his life that made him sad and he went off to be on his own to sulk, and you came looking for him. Found him and held onto him again and made him feel like everything would be okay.

He cherishes the memories of you. It's become something of a lifeline, a default coping mechanism he shifts to whenever he's scared or in pain or the bite of loneliness sinks deep. Like a broken record, over and over, he plays the memories in his head, one of the only sources of comfort he's ever really had, and yet you were robbed from him and left him all alone. Maybe your family moved somewhere else, maybe you simply drifted apart and you didn't want anything to do with him anymore. But he never forgot the good memories. Perhaps even that classic trope where you promised you'd get married one day as kids. Sure, he's not the type to be delusional enough to think those childhood promises mean much, but he thinks the thought that it could be possible is sweet.

He isn't sure what makes it click in his head to seek you out again. One day when the height of his negative emotions hits a point it's nearly unbearable, a single thought comes to his mind -- you're still out there somewhere. Hopefully, unless something horrible happened. But most likely, you're still alive, out there and you surely remember him too. It's surprisingly easy to find a person, you ask around, find people you mutually knew, and soon enough he's at your doorstep.

And you... squint. Oh, yeah... that guy. You kinda awkwardly laugh, hey, uh... and your mind draws a blank, you realize it's been so long you kinda forgot... It's okay, he reminds you what his name is. You seem confused, and a bit annoyed that he even shows up. What does he want, you ask?

And he's lucid enough that he prepared himself for that possibility. Of course, he was hoping you might be happy to see him, maybe even overjoyed like he is to see you. But that's okay. Life goes on, he gets that. Still, he'll have hopes to rekindle that, he believes he can if he tries hard enough.

Bonus points if darling has changed -- you used to be so sweet to him, kind and loving and encouraging... what happened? Now you seem cold, distant, irritated at him for being there. He tries to reason that maybe something bad happened in your life, maybe you distrust him since he showed up out of the blue. Again, that's okay, he understands. With enough time, he can fix the relationship... or maybe the problem isn't the circumstances, it's you. But, again, that's all okay. If necessary, he'll fix you, too.

Razor: patient, transparent/genuine, non-judgemental, teacher-figure

Razor is one of the least discriminate. Honestly, if you happen to be the first time he meets an adult human female, that might be enough to convince him to snatch you away, but if it's an extended thing, where he gradually meets a person and interacts with them, he's likely to attach to someone who is patient, and importantly, with whom he doesn't feel looked down upon.

He's... not the brightest bulb in the box of course, but he's not so dumb that he doesn't have any realization of how he's perceived. In his interactions with humans, he has picked up on the fact that he is treated as something of an "other," that he's someone that people see as not "one of them" -- he's aware that people sometimes snicker at his speech patterns, that people think he's unintelligent and treat him as if he was, that people look down on him to some degree. And that hurts a bit, even if he doesn't really need human approval. It still makes him feel inadequate and embarrassed when someone has to repeat something five times for him to understand, when people smirk and smile when they know he doesn't understand, when people huff in frustration because he doesn't understand what they're trying to tell him, especially because he tries so hard to get better. Baby actually has some self-esteem issues. He doesn't feel like he really fits in -- he knows he's not really a wolf, so he can't feel like he 100% belongs with them, but he can't feel accepted by humans either -- he often feels like there's no place in the world he really belongs, no one who really accepts him.

So, if you show any degree of comfort in that regard, he becomes attached fast. He has an unease with humans, but that one is a good one, he thinks. You don't laugh at the way he talks, you don't get mad if he messes up, and when he forgets how to do something or a word or the like you just smile and say "it's ok." You don't snicker and smirk, and when you laugh, he can tell it's not in a way that's making fun of him. That makes him feel warm inside. And what really makes him fall for you is a darling that doesn't feel the need to change him. You smile and say it's ok, I like you the way you are. That hits him hard because no one has ever said that to him before. The humans are always trying to get him to fit in better, but now there's a human who says it's ok for him to just be how he is? He doesn't understand it, but it makes him feel... happy. And with you, you're very transparent and easy to understand, there's no nuances or subtle things to pick up on, he doesn't feel worried that there's something he's not understanding or a hidden meaning to something.

He'd also connect very well to a teacher-figure, one that helps him and demonstrates patience (you'll need a LOT of it). Your praise and help makes him feel like he's doing good, making progress, it makes him feel happy and even a bit proud, although he can't really articulate the feeling it gives him, he just says it's good. You're good, everything about you is good, the way he feels because of you is good. It's the only way he knows how to describe it. He's very unaware of the feelings and what they mean, so he acts on impulse more than most, just doing whatever he feels like without thinking of how it's perceived, which leads to him being very annoyingly clingy without realizing how annoying it is. But again, if you're a patient teacherly figure, you'll understand that. He's already learned that a lot of people get too busy and don't want to be around him, or even just find dealing with him frustrating... but you don't. Or rather, even if you do, you don't voice it, you don't make it obvious, and that's all the same to him.

It would also help if darling is also "different" in some negative way -- there's something that makes you different from others, particularly in a way that's looked down upon by most people. It gives him a sense of connection. You're more like him! It's a very simple sort of interpersonal relation that he can understand, similarity. It just makes him that much more likely to zero in on you and do whatever the impulses tell him to do from there.

Diluc: nurturing/doting, sweet, forgiving

Mommy?

But in all seriousness (and as many jokes as I've made about this for this poor man), he seriously does really like that... maternal, wifey sort of nature. He's something of a stoic, quiet type of man. He likes having something... Soft. Sweet. Loving. To such an extent that it feels kinda maternal. It's comforting. He doesn't have a lot of comfort in his life, and his work is never done, his job is exhausting and stressful. Feeling like he can come back home everyday and have something soft and warm that he can just kinda wrap his arms around and bury his face into (preferably right at the chest) is soothing, comforting. Much more so if you return the embraces and say nice things, comfort him and dote on him. He's very, very, very desperate for some comfort in his life, someone to channel all his frustration into, and do things for him that make him feel special, you know? So, you know, like a mommy, wife, therapist, and stress-reducing squeezable fucktoy all in one.

The more... motherly? Wifey? You get the idea, but yes the more so the better. Any notions or gestures that are loving and comforting are appreciated. It's likely how the obsession starts, when you're just a maid or a frequent customer or whatever -- you see the dark circles under his eyes, he looks so tired you ask him are you ok? You should take some time off, you poor thing... And you have concern in your eyes, you reach up and pat his head, and it feels... foreign. You're concerned for him? Doting on him? You don't expect him to keep going, to be the strong and tireless person that everyone else expects him to be? It's so unfamiliar. But... it's so good. And then soon after, you do something for him. Something thoughtful. You show up one day with something in tow that you brought for him, be it food or something similar you made or something you bought that you thought might help him with his work. I thought of you, hope you like it... It makes him feel the same weird feeling. But he likes it. He can't stop thinking about it.

So he starts trying to get more of it, but he's very careful (at first) to try to not make it obvious. Unfortunately for him, even if he doesn't realize it, it is very, very obvious. He just stands there. Menacingly. He's not trying to be intimidating, but he just has a natural angry resting face and so when he just stands there and looks at you, you worry he's mad and start apologizing, which just confuses him further. He doesn't want apologies, he just wants you to be all sweet to him again, why is it not working?? So confusing. Ultimately, he ends up basically getting more and more obvious out of desperation, until you give him the affection he's craving.

However, it's worth noting Diluc is one of the most likely yanderes to project the "you" in his head onto the "you" in reality -- even when those two things don't quite line up. In other words, if darling isn't the sweet, doting figure he wants... with time, you will be. He's a little bit on the delusional side in that regard, convinces himself even with a tough, mean, defiant darling that there's a sweet, obedient side of you deep, deep down, and he just has to bring it out somehow. While this might not be too bad with a mild, pushover, worshipping type of yandere, this does not combine well with his low patience and tendency for angry outbursts. What do you mean he can't change your entire demeanor overnight? Hmph. Maybe a more... physical approach to behavioral correction will work faster than just trying to be nice to you until you change.

However, the maternal thing is probably the worst part of what he wants. What's one of the most commonly associated traits for that...? Unconditional love.

It makes him feel reassured if you don't fight it. If you're good and just accept everything he has to give, everything he does. You'll be happy with him no matter what... right? If he gets mad and maybe does some bad things because of it... that's ok, right? You'll still love him, right? And you're not going to complain, you're going to take it and forgive him for everything... aren't you? It would be so nice if you did.

Actually... don't *forgive* him. Just don't be upset over what he does in the first place. Forgiveness is nice, but what would make him really happy, make him feel like you really love him is if you said, "it's ok" or "I'm not mad." Even if you're covered in bruises, even if you're burned. If you don't view the angry outbursts as a bad thing in the first place, he thinks it would be nice if you just let those things slide and shrug them off. If your love was unconditional, like his is for you. Maybe you can be understanding -- he was mad, you can understand that can't you? Besides, you did something wrong to earn it. Maybe you shouldn't be mad at all. And for that matter, you know what else is comforting? A lack of defiance. He has so much stress already... it would be nice if you didn't create more, if you didn't contribute to it. If you do what he says and do it with a smile and reassure him that you don't mind at all. Be it a task you're assigned, or just opening your legs when he wants.

Because, he wants you to be happy. Not in the sense of, "will work towards your happiness and do things to make you happy," but rather, "wants you to be happy with giving him his way." He wants you to be smile and enjoy your life. You don't mind it at all -- being trapped here, being forced to behave in a hyper-specific way, being treated like an object that exists to fill his wants and needs... you like all of that.

Childe: confident, defiant, spirited, enemy

Childe likes someone who... doesn't like him, bothers him, and especially is an enemy to him.

Sounds odd at first, so to elaborate -- the kind of person that would ultimately catch his attention and cause him to focus in on them is someone who he feels defies him. He sees some poor little weak thing struggling to carry some things and offers to help in that sweet, but condescending way of his... but you huffed and said "no." He tries to really put on the charm and be sweet because that usually gets the information he needs, but... it's like you're immune. You shut down any advances he makes. Charm has no effect on you. And bonus points if you call him out on it - you think you can get me to do what you want just because you're a pretty boy? It's so unexpected it leaves him speechless. And later, he ends up seething over that, the fact that you managed to reduce him to being outwardly shocked is enough for him to consider it a slight against him. Yet... that insult was... back-handed. Pretty? The fact that you said that -- that means something, doesn't it? You felt something. There is some form of chemistry, even if you pushed away any attraction you might have had for his physicality alone. The fact that you, at the very least, thought he was physically attractive... that thought lingers in the back of his head.

It drives him up the wall. It makes him mad. He can't stop thinking about that one encounter. It bothers him so much and he swears he'll get back at you the next time he encounters you... which ends up actually happening. And you're the same way -- outright rude to him, condescending even, you glare and defy him and aren't afraid of him. What really bothers/attracts him is if the attitude has nothing to back it up. This works well enough if you're a strong, fighting type, since he's still stronger, but it's even more amplified if you're weak and unfit, and even more so if you're smaller than he is. He could literally rip you apart, you know that? He could throw you around like ragdoll and you couldn't do anything about it. He obsesses over the idea of strength and thinks about how you're so, so naive to the kind of fire you're playing with.

And he likes that. And he hates that. He becomes obsessed with that. It draws him in and ignites the same sort of rush feeling he gets from fighting -- part of him just wants to reach out and grab you, pull you back and... do something to you. But try as he might, when he follows that line of thought, the revenge fantasies all end up going in the same... unwholesome direction. It becomes more obsessive with time, the more encounters you have. He likes to picture it in his head -- what you'd sound like. Probably squealing and begging and crying. What kind of face would you make? Little tears running down your face, lip trembling and body shivering. Oh, how he wants to take that prideful, uptight little attitude and rip it right off of you, wipe that bitchy glare off your face and see what you're like underneath that. It's an intoxicating fantasy, makes his mind go numb.

And it's amplified a hundred times, made so, so much worse if it turns out you're a legitimate enemy of some kind, be it some force directly opposing his own, or just an obstacle in the way that refuses to bend to the will of his organization and give in, someone defiant. The fantasies become stronger -- more violent, more brutal, it becomes something he thinks of just by association, to where he can't interact with you without the mental images in his head.

But don't get him wrong... he likes you. Really. Loves you. Wants to spend every waking moment around you, because that push and pull and the conflict of affection and hate, lust and violence, it all amalgamates to his own twisted form of love.

Because for him, the height of joy with any toy is breaking it. He likes that fire inside you. And he wants to be the one to break you down. Claim you and own you and show you your place and just break you.... but the thing about that is, part of that is making you love him. He wouldn't just hurt you and humiliate you and leave you defeated, no, see, that's actually not good enough. The ultimate, final stage of breaking you would be to make you love him. It wouldn't be as fun if you started off as a submissive, loving little pet from the get go, it makes him feel more powerful and prideful to know he made you that way, broke you and tamed you. Remember how defiant and mean you used to be? But that's over now, right? Now you learned your place is beneath him, and you're happy about it, you love him.

But not completely. He'll never fully break you, because again, that defiance is just so beautiful. Every now and then it flares back up, a little bit of spark of that fire comes back, and he loves nothing more than putting it out.

Zhongli: needy, lonely/NEET

He actually really, really likes feeling needed, or maybe even borderline adored, worshipped -- for all his seeming humility now, sometimes he misses the feeling of reverence and importance to some degree, perhaps even a sense of authority. Human life is nice and peaceful, but it can get a little dull after a while. He really does like the idea of living a fairly stress-free life, without the enormous responsibilities he had before, while also having some area of life where he can still maintain the feeling of being needed and revered... that's where you come in! Wow, things work out so perfectly... except for the issue that he's actually another one of the most likely to project onto you. In other words, you might very well be a fully confident, capable person, but he doesn't see it that way. No, you're needy. Weak. You would never do well on your own, you have to be taken care of. Any evidence you can present to the contrary is simply discarded.

But of course, it helps if you truly are that way, especially if you have outwardly obvious signs that can be used as evidence to present to you that you are, in fact, needy, such as any kind of impairment or naivete or unawareness, or a spacey, gullible person. He would go to the length of setting you up a bit, have you make a poor decision out of naivete or fall for a trick only to expose it to you or leave you to realize it. A safe one, of course, with no long term consequences, just a demonstration. Standing there like an exasperated parent, to tell you see, this is exactly what he meant. This was just for your own good, to open your eyes a little bit.

The age thing is also a factor of how he sees you. See, once you get to live like, you know, several thousand years, you kinda stop perceiving age the same way humans do. In his eyes, no matter how old you are, you're still so innocent and naive. You could be a hundred years old with a lifetime of fighting experience, and he'd still baby you a bit. This can become infuriating, of course, when you're constantly never taken seriously. And to be honest, he likes having that leverage to some degree, hence he's likely to aim for a human, as opposed to a being on a similar level to himself where the power gap wouldn't be as significant.

But also, this desire for a sort of power gap may also manifest as a bit of a savior complex. He just can't help but see many humans as so amusing... especially the odd ones, like one who isolates themselves from others. It catches his attention -- he sees the same figure from his view very frequently, perhaps someone he sees through the window as he works, going about their routine to get necessities, and then locking themselves away in their home, never leaving. Odd. He sees this one human day after day, and yet they never interact with anyone at all? Why might that be?

It'd strange. But it's also rather sad, too. The poor thing is really missing out. He finds himself thinking about that lonely little human quite a bit, they never seem to ever go out to interact with anyone. Maybe they just... need someone to get them out of their shell a little bit. Or rather, no, they don't need to be forced to interact with the outside world if they don't want to, if they're uncomfortable with it, that's okay. In fact, it's for the better -- the world can be such a cruel, difficult place, no wonder you want to stay inside, you probably can't handle doing otherwise. But he can't just leave you all alone, now can he?

Yes, what you really need is to have someone who can be there for you so you don't get lonely, someone to ensure you're okay and help you if you need anything, while also protecting you from the dangers of the outside, allowing you to live the secluded life you desire to the fullest, give you everything you want all while in the safety and seclusion of a nice, custom-tailored, unescapable environment for you to thrive and flourish and be so, so grateful.

Chongyun: kuudere

He does really like feeling helpful. You were just someone who was just going about your life, but perhaps your house was haunted, or you encountered a demon and desperately sought out the nearest exorcist. Or, you may have very well been attacked by a demonic force on the road, just going about your day, and he happened to show up at the right time. He finds that this job makes him feel a little different than his previous ones... he likes your thanks. Something about the feeling of you thanking him, the feeling like he protected you or saved you makes him feel really proud, a swelling feeling in his chest. Maybe it's because you're just pretty... not that he would ever, ever base his helpfulness on the person's appearances, of course, but after the threat is gone, he just can't help but notice that just looking at you makes him feel... weird.

Or perhaps it was a situation not involving demons or malevolent spirits at all, rather, you were an innocent worker somewhere getting yelled at by some big, mean guy. You can't convince me this boy isn't a little white knight. You KNOW he would walk right up to some mean dude, summon his courage and step in between you two, telling him to back off, that he's scaring you and he shouldn't be yelling at a nice girl like that! Surely whatever you did can be paid for, if perhaps you dropped or broke something belonging to the guy, or if you were a worker that messed something up. He'll pay it off, he says, but he manages to keep a cool head as he tells the guy to back off. Eventually he gets the guy to back off and turns back towards you, all worried and asking if you're okay.

And thus, we get to personality types. Perhaps a soft fragile thing, sniffly with tears, nodding your head and thanking him. But... to be honest, he's likely to fall for a kuudere type -- quiet, not very expressive, fairly calm and not easily bothered. You were fine, you say, but you thank him anyway. Again, it makes him feel really proud, like he's some kind of knight in shining armor figure, even though all he did was scare off some mean dude. He tells you to come to him if you're ever in trouble, says he can deal with lots of things! Especially spirits! But uh... people too, if you need it.

You end up coming to him for something else, taking him up on his offer, or perhaps doing something in return to thank him -- making him food, taking him out and offering to buy something. He insists you don't have to, but he likes spending time with you! So you end up just... walking around the city, talking. He's sweet, even though he's a little dense. And you, normally so calm and perhaps a bit devoid of emotion, even smile a bit, maybe even laugh. Makes him feel so strange inside, a rushing mania, a high he can't come down from, so warm inside, and... oh no.

He has to start limiting himself after that, he barely stops himself from losing it. He wants to be around you all the time, yet you cause so many problems for him, he has to start finding ways to keep his cool, literally, around you. But he replays that over and over in his head. You're a little expressionless most of the time, he's seen you interact with others, straight-faced and monotone, but you smiled and laughed for him, and just him. It makes him feel special. Makes him feel needed. And it's all downhill -- for you -- from there.

Bennett: tsundere/himedere/gyaru personality, friends-to-lovers, adventuring partner

It's a rather amusing dynamic, but I feel like he would be the perfect type of boy that falls in love with a tsundere (mean externally, vulnerable internally), himedere (entitled, narcissistic spoiled princess type), or stereotype gyaru personality (conceited/self-absorbed, materialistic, short-tempered, good at heart). Poor thing is always trying to do his best! It's perhaps actually unhealthy, but because he's so used to people being mad at him or disliking him, a tsundere type feels like something familiar. Someone being outright sweet to him... he wouldn't know how to handle that, he feels so guilty when people are nice to him, so a tsundere/himedere type always being very hot-and-cold with him hooks him immediately. The "cold" -- when you're mad at him, when you blame him for everything, when you tell him you don't like him -- it feels... familiar. It's what he's used to, and in his mind, what he deserves for being such a burden to you. He doesn't even deserve to be around you, thanks you for even spending time with him.

And then, there's the "hot" aspect. He becomes addicted to the cycle of earning approval. The times he does things the right way, those rare moments where you tell him he did good, or you seem happy. The gift he got you didn't get destroyed in transport, you completed a whole commission without any bizarre mishaps or injuries. And you're happy with him. You smile and that alone takes his breath away, makes him feel such a rush of chemicals and hormones that he doesn't know how to handle. He's not at all experienced with love or romance and doesn't even understand how he feels, just like Chongyun.

As to how he meets you, it's definitely through the adventurer's guild. You yourself are pretty new to this whole adventuring thing, you don't have a team or a guild or anything of the sort. Kathryne says she's got a commission for you, you can team up with the other person already assigned to it, but, ah, well... no, nevermind, yeah you should totally sign up. That's how you end up partnered with Bennett, and quickly understand exactly why Benny's Adventure Team has only the one remaining member. You end up stuck in the ruins, he's apologizing over and over and you huff and grumble and eventually snap at him -- but not for the reason he'd expect. It's not blaming him for the situation, no, you're not yelling about how it's all his fault.

Would you stop saying things like that? It's annoying.

You're not mad about being stuck. You shrug -- yeah, whatever. You say you're not stupid --only followed by emphasis, do you think I'm stupid? Huh? He shakes his head with wide, frightened eyes, but can't bring himself to speak a word. But yeah, you continue, you knew ahead of time this was a risk, so you tell him to shut up about it. His apologizing is much more annoying than anything, you say. He's not sure how to handle it. He feels bad for annoying you, but... if you don't like it, he has no choice but to stop apologizing, right?

It's a habit you slowly wean him off of, you get so, so annoyed by his constant self-deprecation and apologies and constantly end up telling him, again, to just shut up. And... you keep coming back. He's most shocked after the first time, but you... want to work with him again? And again? And... again... the poor thing doesn't quite realize why. You see, your... unpleasant personality functions the same way his bad luck does -- it makes you not exactly popular, and really, he's your only option, no one else wants to work with you, so you're basically stuck with him. In his mind, though, you choose to be with him. It makes his heart beat fast and his chest feel tight in a way he doesn't understand.

But still, you're so mean so much of the time... it's okay, he deserves it, he thinks. He'll just have to work harder to win your approval, and make sure no one else can do so other than him, even if that means having to keep other people away from you.

Xiao: deredere/genki

For Xiao, show concern for him, be sweet to him, pay attention to him. That's... that's almost it, actually. The one side note is you have to be persistent, because at first he's going to push you away. Xiao keeps a distance from people. He doesn't particularly like people, people tend to not get close to him and he doesn't mind that. Complex human relationships would just be a hassle, he thinks, and he has nothing to gain from them, so you have to kinda pass through that exterior.

The type that would get to him the most easily is a very very optimistic, deredere sort of darling, even bordering on the "genki girl" trope -- a ray of sunshine, so to speak. It's a dual thing where it actually kinda irritates him, yet he feels drawn to it at the same time. As for the role... a regular person. He's actually very likely to fall in love with a very average, powerless, regular human who does not really stand out in any way. Perhaps a traveler he happens to stumble upon on the road and save from being murdered by bandits or monsters, perhaps a worker at the inn, etc. A big part of this is because you're so weak to him and it triggers a protective instinct. He worries about you, his thoughts drift to you and whether or not you're okay. It quickly becomes obsessive, he starts feeling the need to watch over you 24/7.

Anyone wanting to get close to him is usually initially turned off by his... well, the way he is. Additionally, the few people that express some sort of desire to speak to him are usually humans seeking adeptal blessing, favors, or they simply find a more non-personal and self-serving fascination, viewing any interaction with him like looking at a wild animal behind glass, rather than trying to approach him as a person. As such, he tends to kind of shove people away when they speak to him, either with his brand of quiet and coldness or, if necessary, more aggressive speech.

And at first, he's more baffled than anything as to why you continue to come back. Why you seem to be interested in talking to him, even though he doesn't think of himself as particularly conversational or interesting. In fact, he's likely to initially start off as incredibly confused by his own emotions and may even interpret the weird warm feeling as irritation -- which it partially is -- and be a bit mean. You make him feel oddly embarrassed, you make him stutter and stumble and feel a lot of weird, complex feelings, he doesn't understand any of it and that makes him even a bit more gruff, but in a defense mechanism sort of way. Yet, this still doesn't drive darling away, it's like you don't care about his more rough exterior. Bonding to him takes time and effort. And that confuses him. Why would you put in effort to talk to him, know him? It feels weird and warm in a way he doesn't understand. And you're so, so sweet, so nice... it feels so weird. In all honesty, he's actually pretty emotionally sensitive, and he's particularly sensitive to how you feel about him. He thrives on the nice things you say and do, even if he's very quiet about it. But you're so nice, does that mean you actually like him?

Finally, he is so, so, so easily drawn in and dragged along with manipulation of sexuality -- a trait usually unlikely in such a darling that he likes, but basically what this means is the ultimate sort of darling for him is one that has the aforementioned personality by day, but inwardly has a highly sexual side -- bonus points for teasing and tempting him but pretending you have no idea what you're doing. Any sort of overtly sexual behavior or accentuation has him like a fish to a baited hook -- low necklines, short skirts or shorts, teasing, putting on a sultry voice or expression. Boy is filled to the brim with sexual frustration and hormones. Of course, he's not intentionally obvious about this (still obvious to anyone who can follow his line of sight, but he doesn't realize that), he doesn't really say anything about it. He hasn't had the same development most boys go through where they learn to control sexual urges (at least to some degree) so the slightest patch of bare skin short circuits his brain. He has a reactive sexuality that responds only to certain people who meet certain conditions -- namely, emotional attachment, which darling now meets. So he's very unused to the feelings and urges and has no concept of control over them, which can't end well.

That sweetness, and especially the teasing, will come back to bite you though. See, it's likely that in this case, it's just darling's personality, you're like that in general, which, while he doesn't delude himself into thinking otherwise, it just never crosses his mind until one day he witnesses you... treating other people similarly. Wait, what do you mean you're nice to other people too? You're not just nice to him? He realizes that that only makes sense, but still, it bothers him. That niceness and smile and sweet voice and warmth is something that should be reserved for him. He knows it's selfish, but it still makes him mad. That's when you go from just a figure of obsession to a captive. Which is why you have to be taken away... you really are a ray of sunshine. You make him feel warm inside and make his world bright and happy. He wants it all to himself, a personal little sun that will keep him happy and love him even in the dark dreariness of the isolated little abode where you'll be staying forever.

Scara: brat, easily broken OR genki

Here we get into the difference between more sadistic-leaning yans like Childe, Kaeya, and Scara. As aforementioned, some like Childe truly enjoy the feeling of defiance, they like the fight in you and never want to see it fully die out, whereas some like Kaeya enjoy the feeling of a darling that will give only very occasional defiance, and that can be easily intimidated and have that defiance easily crushed for ego boost purposes.

Scara's a bit in between. The best way of wording it would be to say he wants someone breakable. He does like the power-trip fantasy of taking someone defiant and bratty and breaking them down, but, uh... deep down, he's not as confident in his ability to take down a truly tough and strong-willed person as Childe would be. A darling that is perpetually defiant and truly has a fire and unbreakable spirit might make him a bit insecure about his capabilities. He wants to feel like he succeeded in breaking you, making you submissive and obedient and complacent... but, simply put, he wants it to be, well, easy.

Thankfully, though, a very long life has given him the ability to read people fairly well, and he can recognize the type of person he's looking for. Basically, a brat. Someone who exudes an air of defiance and fiery spirit, but he can tell that beneath the surface... you have nothing to back it up with. Perhaps that even the aloof, demanding attitude is in and of itself a sort of defense mechanism, a projection because deep down you know how weak and defenseless you are, so you act strong-willed when in reality you would be so, so easy to break apart. That's reassuring. It's a guarantee he can get the satisfaction he wants. A defiant little brat that just needs to get your shit wrecked once and will turn into a sobbing, begging little mess, and not to mention that in and of itself is something you can be humiliated for. Wow, that toughness was just an act, huh. You go down so easily, you're so weak. And you'll recover, maybe in a while, but your pride will never fully go back to being the way it was, you'll never be able to look him in the eye with the same amount of defiance ever again. Sure, you may get bratty and defiant and glare and snap at him and whine, but now when he narrows his eyes at you, you shut up and shrink back, rather than glare back the way you did at first. You have some pride, but its foundations are shaky, fall over with just the slightest push, and perhaps your brattiness in and of itself now is just bitterness over the way you've been humiliated over and over. Either way, it's not a genuinely strong spirit, that's what matters.

That being said, he would also be equally drawn, for essentially the same reason, to a very happy, smiling, spirited sweetheart type. Particularly, one that his demeanor doesn't work on. He likes happy, warm people. Or rather, he likes being mean to them, insulting them and watching them crumble, but... you don't. You laugh off the insults as if he's joking, you seem completely unfazed, no matter how cold and arrogant he can be, or, past that, when he reaches a stage where he's just outright malicious every time he sees you. He starts getting desperate like that, tries to just be as rude as possible to you in hopes of finally getting a reaction. But... nothing. You still smile. You laugh and shrug and act sweet to him all the same. It makes him feel powerless over you and he hates it. It almost feels condescending at this point, you're just so unintimidated.

Eventually, you make him snap over something. You giggle at an insult, call him something like funny or cute or, if you have an especially strong death wish, something physical and belittling like ruffle his hair or pat him on the head. That's enough to just send him over the edge. Not right there on the spot, no, he just kinda looks at you with hands all curled into fists and eye twitching, but says nothing, blank-faced.

Similarly to Childe, he just runs some very dark fantasies through his head, grinding his teeth and seething for a while, but ultimately comes to the same conclusion -- the only thing that can satiate the fury is breaking you down, acting on those fantasies and making them more than just images in his head to calm himself down, but a reality. Let's see how long you can keep that smile up. Maybe in the end you'll have some proper respect. At the same time, the desire for power leads to a desire for ownership, to claim you entirely as well, so don't expect to be able to just run away after.

Venti: shy, reclusive, depressive OR "milf" trope

He has two types that he would go for equally.

Firstly, Venti finds a sort of false toughness adorable. Unlike Bennett, rather than the more spoiled, princess-type of tsundere, he likes the quieter type, maybe even described as a bit reclusive -- as far as "dere" tropes go, perhaps utsudere (depressed, avoidant, untrusting) or darudere (apathetic, lazy, uncaring) with a touch of the more classic tsun -- but primarily, you're just a bit avoidant of others. You don't go out much, and when you do, you don't talk to too many people. When you do, though, you avoid forming relationships with people, for some reason. You're even... a bit of a grouch, putting on an act of toughness, like you don't need anyone or anything, but he senses a vulnerability in you.

He likes teasing, and more importantly, he likes making others happy. Nothing makes his day more than when he sees people looking sad or upset and he can make them smile and laugh again through his words or his music, and he finds himself observing you, hoping he can do the same, but the one time he tried to talk to you, you kinda blew him off -- you're sweet, really, but I'm not interested in hearing anything... sorry. And you left just like that. Hmph. Well, he can't have that, he just becomes more determined to make you happy, make you smile. He finds you again and again and becomes something of a pest in your life, but you know he means well. You can't bring yourself to tell him to buzz off, but you don't want to be vulnerable around anyone or form relationships... but he has other plans. He'll make you happy, no matter what. Even if he has to start showing up at your door every day, forcing you to go out in the sun and spend time with him.

It's a bonus if you respond well to teasing, he can pick on you a bit and while you don't get genuinely hurt, you pout and huff and get all embarrassed... he likes embarrassing you, in a good way, bringing out that tsundere side by pointing out little things, as he's very observant -- wow, you look so nice today... aw, did you dress up just cause you knew I would come? , or oh, you were already ready, were you waiting on me? Little things to make you stutter and turn your gaze away. He's determined to bring you out of your shell... even if you'd rather not, one way or another. It's all bonus points if you were a follower or a nun of some kind, he loves to hear you talk about "Barbatos", basking in your reverence and chuckling with a grin so wide you can't help but suspect he knows something you don't. Maybe once you two get closer, he can tell you, and maybe you'll even worship him directly... he can hope.

Alternatively, for the other type he'd go for, Venti is about to become the Mondstadt resident homewrecker. Oof. See, after all that spying on the nuns he's been doing, he can't help but develop a bit of a fetish... to be fair, he's literally older than any Mondstadt resident, but that sweet lady that waves to him every morning as he plays while she walks to the store or work or wherever, she doesn't know that. To her, he's maybe barely an adult at most, definitely half her age if not less. Not that she thinks much of him at all, other than the sweet, smiley boy that plays his lyre in the town square. And she certainly doesn't notice someone following her home, resting on rooftops and watching her go about her day.

Through this spying, he finds out his worst fears are a reality -- married AND has kids. Oh no. That's no good. Venti's jealousy is a rare thing, and very... quiet. He tries to push it back at first, and it festers. A growing, gnawing irritation that he knows he has no right to feel, but feels nonetheless. And oh, what's this? She is definitely not being treated as well as he would treat her. Ugh. It just makes him feel worse and worse inside, but he maintains the role he has -- just the sweet boy that smiles and waves to her... until he can't handle it anymore. He has to interact with her, finds a way to set up encounters. Unfortunately, she treats him as exactly how she sees him -- far too young for romantic or sexual thoughts to even cross her mind, given her own age. Treats him like a kid, giggles and pats his head when he calls her pretty and tells him he's so sweet, he'll be such a good husband to someone someday. Double ugh. Extra infuriating. He keeps trying to do things to appear, well, manlier (which is... a struggle, given his appearance), and tries to impress her with shows of strength and capabilities, but it stays the same no matter how hard he tries. He'll have to find a way to win her over somehow... although there are some obvious obstacles in the way. Maybe those are the problem, and once they're gone, he'll finally get what he wants.

Xingqiu: doormat, arranged marriage OR teacher

Ah, our favorite rich brat boy. A few major possibilities here. One, he would honestly likely seek out a darling of a much lower economic status than him for the sole purpose of holding a power over them and indebting them to him. Don't worry, he'll pay for everything you need. He'll buy you expensive gifts. It makes you feel like you owe him something. And since he knows you can't pay him in money, well, you can pay him back in other favors.

I feel like arranged marriage trope is appropriate for him -- but specifically he would aim for, again, a slightly lower-ranking family to fill a sort of savior complex. He's so invested in his whole justice-seeker thing because he likes that ego boost and rush of saving someone else, likes feeling like others owe him, likes feeling like some sort of vigilante hero. He feels like he's saving you from that horrible, horrible life lived by commoners! You'll certainly be grateful and adore him for it, now that you get to live a life full of constant materialistic possessions and no stress, he can get virtually anything you want, and you don't even have to work.

Unlike Childe, he prefers actual willing submission from the get-go rather than defiance. Of the sorta-narcissistic quartet between him, Scara, Childe and Kaeya, he likes defiance the least. It's partially part of his younger age -- he's still somewhat childish and immature at times, he wants you to recognize how much better he is than you and everyone from the get-go. So he's likely to not only seek out someone who is far less privileged, but also is meek and won't defy him. A doormat that doesn't know what to do -- you hate getting all these gifts from this boy, but you can't bring yourself to reject them! That would hurt his feelings! You want some time alone for once, but you don't know how to tell him... that sort of thing. That part is more subconscious on his end, it's not like he's gonna consciously acknowledge darling might not always want to be around him, but his subconscious seeks out someone who wouldn't tell him to go away even if they wanted to.

He also likes the non-aristocrat/commoner darling for the purpose of alienation and unfamiliarity -- you don't understand these customs or how any of this works, you don't know the norms, the etiquette, all these unspoken rules the wealthy follow that you can never hope to grasp because no one will teach you and everyone is so judgemental... except him. Don't worry, it doesn't bother him, and he'll help you. Not to mention, he knows full well, having grown up surrounded by them, that the fellow aristocratic class can be so, so judgemental and condescending towards people not as wealthy and uppity as they are, and that will leave you so, so very alone, not to mention probably hurt. He can be right there, in comparison he'll seem so sweet and wonderful, you'll be so distracted by how much kinder he is that you'll forget how pushy and self-absorbed and spoiled he can be.

Secondly, the one that would irritate him more -- a teacher. Similar to Venti's milf, perhaps a nice lady that taught him a thing or two in the Guhua art. A higher ranking than him, maybe even older and/or taller, but that doesn't matter, right? He's so used to being able to impress people just by dropping his family name, surely she'll be impressed and want to marry him the moment she knows he's the son of such an influential and wealthy family, right?

Or... maybe not. No matter. Okay, so teacher didn't practically hop on his dick the moment he started talking himself up... in fact, you smiled and laughed and patted his head, which felt a bit demeaning, but it's okay, he can still recover. He just has to be more impressive. He devotes himself into getting better and better and making sure darling is right there to witness the most impressive and daring of his actions. Surely, that will win her over, he thinks... ok, maybe not. Still treating him like a kid, even though he's not, and he's tried to make that clear. Why do you insist on being so... demeaning?

In the end, he will have to take even more drastic measures to get darling to love him. He ponders it a while and decides the issue is darling's rank being so much higher. It would take him years to reach that rank, which is an issue, he needs darling now and he's not very patient. So if he can't ascend to that level, he'll have to just drag teacher dearest down. Given his father's influence and power, it won't be too hard to slander your name and get you permanently ejected from the clan, frame you for something... but it's okay. Your favorite student still believes you, still has faith in you, even if he's the only one, and will be right there to comfort you and shelter you.

Kaeya: easily manipulated, naive, meek, pleaser

Kaeya's problem is quick, overly strong attachments, although he's good at not letting it immediately show. The truth that he doesn't admit is that, likely due to his... issues, he can and will become incredibly over-attached in less than 24 hours of knowing someone. This applies even platonically, but especially romantically. He's the kind of boy that's thinking about wedding ideas and baby names in his head on the first date, is convinced he's met the love of his life after sleeping with someone literally once. And as such, is very very susceptible to heartbreak. But he's very self-aware of it, and is very careful not to be outwardly vulnerable, even if he's internally very vulnerable.

Instead, he develops a sort of complex to appear exactly the opposite -- act like he doesn't need anyone, puts on airs of being unattached so that, he hopes, you will feel like it's an honor just to have his attention, not the other way around. He wants to feel like he has power over people. It's a common complex found in people who have gone through similar life experiences to him -- they want to be the one with more leverage, more power, in any interpersonal relationship they have. They want the other person to need them more than than they need that person, or at least create to the other party the illusion that they don't need them. It makes them feel safe and assured that that person won't leave them. The best way to do that is to find someone who needs him, or whom he can make need him, and especially someone he feels he can manipulate.

He would be likely to attach to someone he feels is particularly gullible or naive. This can come in many forms, example being a non-native to the area who can easily be convinced that the "customs" he made up are true. Also, anyone with a social impairment of any kind, especially those that prevent one from reading others very well/understanding tone and facial expression. He can convince you that see, that person actually hates you, this person was trying to trick you, that person was taking advantage of you -- make you scared of others. See, aren't you glad you have him around to help you? Who knows what would happen to you if he wasn't there to guide you! If you have any sort of challenge, he can convince you that well, you're lucky I don't see that as a burden like everyone else would. That sort of thing.

Which, again, draws us to the idea of a darling being naive. Not only can he use this to manipulate you, but he hopes to obtain a darling that won't be able to see through his obvious manipulation. He uses every toxic, manipulative trick in the book -- gaslighting, guilt-tripping, reverse psychology, love-bombing, virtually every form of psychological manipulation you can imagine, and the less aware you are of it, the better. A darling that realizes it, or even worse, calls him out on it, that feels threatening, and he doesn't like that.

However, he's content with one that is aware of what he's doing, but just... doesn't do anything. A meek, mild pushover who would just take whatever he does. This would be especially true for darling being a subordinate of some kind, this man is the living embodiment of workplace sexual harassment. So when he meets a literal doormat of a human being, well, that's heaven for someone like him. He can do anything to you and you will just try to force a smile. And over time, he's become very, very good at spotting such people -- he already knows how to target them for doing work he doesn't want to do and other such things, why not apply the same strategy in the romantic, sexual sense?

It's a bonus, to him, if you have some kind of emotional damage, some kind of trauma -- he knows exactly how to manipulate you with it. Particularly abandonment trauma like his own, because he knows exactly what it feels like and can work well with it -- very much the type to pull a "no one will ever love you but me, you know" line. Or if you have any difficulty navigating the world, for whatever reason, be it a mental or physical impairment of any kind -- it's "you know, you're lucky I don't mind helping you, anyone else would think you're a burden." Anything to make sure you stay right where you should be, in his clutches and his alone.

Albedo: needy, doting, comforting

He's pretty easy to please, actually, as far as personality goes. Similarly to Xiao/Diluc he's likely to fall for someone sweet to him, someone who smiles in his presence and seems happy to be around him. However, Xiao would end up finding himself drawn to a ray of sunshine, genki-girl type, whereas Albedo is more likely to be drawn to someone quieter, softer. Still sweet and kind to him, but not requiring him to expend any significant amount of energy. He's a fairly low energy person himself, so it works better to have someone who won't be too loud. And he, too, likes someone who goes out of their way to show interest in him. To be honest, a lot of people he meets think he's either eccentric, weird, or boring. Having someone who actually wants to get to know him is something that stands out to him.

That being said, perhaps oddly, he kind of likes the idea of a darling that is... below-average intelligence, especially if they're naive to the world as well. For normal people, he likes intelligence, but for someone in the role of a romantic partner, he sort of feels more comfortable when he has some degree of superiority and power over you. He's smarter than you, you know. You don't need to worry your pretty little head over anything... he knows better than you and he'll take care of everything for you, just sit back and accept what he says and does, and what he wants you to do.

And combining the two, it's sweet if his unintelligent, unknowledgeable darling shows interest in his work. It's cute because to you it's just... wow! Sciencey things! What does this do? You're fascinated by very simple things and he finds it endearing and adorable. He just combines simple chemicals to create a reaction like color change or fizzing and darling's mind is blown, he thinks it's cute and he's glad you're easily impressed.

However, at the exact same time, he can also go in the opposite direction -- an intelligent darling, one who understands the things he does. This is basically the opposite of the first darling, it works a bit similarly to the Childe/Scara darling where his attachment actually starts off as the fact that something about you gets under his skin, infuriates him, makes him feel inferior or powerless and it bothers him so much he ends up developing an obsession over you filled with conflicting feelings of both irritation and feeling threatened while also slowly developing an infatuation. He's a bit less confident, but he likes the fact that he knows he still knows more than you do. You may be smart, but he'll always be a step ahead, and he subtly enjoys that, especially if it bothers you. And if you're getting a little too good, he'll be sure to put you down a bit, make you doubt yourself and how good you thought your hypothesis was - no, no, it's all wrong, see? Maybe you should just let him handle it.

He likes to feel useful and needed. Stemming back to when Rhinedottir used to tell him she'd leave him if he wasn't good enough, he now has developed a complex revolving around that fear -- that he has to be useful to you. He has to be needed. If you have any kind of need, he can take care of it, so a darling who is especially needy is a very good thing to him.

Regarding that, a much darker aspect of a darling he would latch onto is medical needs... he sees opportunity. A darling with any kind of medication or medical impairment is one he can work well with. Even if he's never heard of your condition, give him 48 hours and he'll know more about it than you. He's not by any means medically qualified, and what he works with has very little to do with such, but he's just really, really good at memorizing information very quickly. He can become an expert on it pretty quickly. And thereby, how it's treated, what signs are, what medicine you take, etc. It goes without saying that medication will be tampered with -- if your medical condition is physical, such as medicine that helps with pain or relieves debilitating symptoms, they may be replaced with placebos. It's ok. He'll come up with an alternative, one only he knows how to create, one that you'll need to stay with him to obtain. Immune system related? Why did the pills stop working, why are you getting so sick all the time? Hmm, perhaps your body built immunity, he says. It's ok, whenever you're sick, even bedridden, he'll take care of you. Perhaps the medical condition is mental, requiring medications. He can make some... alterations. Keep the things that actually cause suffering at bay, he wouldn't want you to have that, but make sure that you might become a little more attached to him. Those amphetamines or antidepressants make you a little too social and productive, maybe you should have your dosage unknowingly lowered so that you won't talk to others so much, so you'll stay inside, so you'll look for alternate sources of serotonin and he'll be right there to provide you with what you need.

#scheduled post

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mcwriting · 4 years ago

Text

lab partners

Um pls be advised that I wrote Tom as a lil soft nerdy college boy and it's a lil angsty at one point but I promise it has a sweet ending :)

Ship: Soft!College!Nerd!Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 2383

Warnings: some angsty vibes, cussing

Not a warning but I talk about chemistry some so sorry if you're not a chem person lol

⚛

You shuffled through your chemistry notebook, trying to decide the most efficient way to get all of the necessary supplies before the experiment started.

That would, of course, require your lab partner to actually show up.

Tom was never actually late to the chemistry lab, but it wasn't unusual for him to show up with only a minute or so to spare.

As if on cue, he clambered through the door, taking the essentials from his backpack before stuffing it into the cubby next to yours. You pretended not to notice him as he slid onto the stool next to you.

"Mornin' sunshine," he said cheerily, setting down his gloves, goggles, and notebook. "What're you up to?"

"Just reading over my notes, as usual," you answered, closing the notebook and sliding it away from you.

"I'm hoping we can get out of this lab quickly today. Woke up late and didn't have time for breakfast," you yawned. "Hopefully they'll still have muffins at the dining hall when we're done, I'm craving banana nut."

You heard it as soon as you said it, and Tom's face lit up.

"I know of a banana with some nut you can have," he started, but you gave him a shove and quieted him.

"Shut up, you total weirdo," you laughed, hoping the other lab groups hadn't heard him. Couldn't let anyone think you and Tom actually had something going on.

Not that it mattered, but you didn't want to give off the wrong impressions. Maybe one day someone would take an interest and ask you out, excluding Tom, of course. That would be weird.

Not weird in a sense that you wouldn't say yes, though. It's just that after being lab partners for almost a year now he was just a friend and you were too close to really...

Oh forget it.

"Okay, okay." Tom conceded, hands raised. "But seriously, there is a granola bar in my bag if you want to eat it after we get the lab started. I'll watch the stuff and you can go in the hall."

You grinned. He may be an idiot, but at least he was a sweet one.

Really, though, he wasn't that much of an idiot. Not in the booksmarts sense. He definitely knew his stuff when it came to all of the concepts you'd learned.

More often than not it was you going to him to ask how to do certain problems or compare homework answers.

He was especially good with titrations, the experiment you were doing today.

You prepared to answer him about the granola bar when the TA started class.

"Okay, guys. We aren't having a quiz this week and you should already know the basics of this experiment, so you can get started with it as soon as you get your things together. The acids are under hood 1, pH meters are over there, and the indicator and solid base are on the counter. Let me know if you have any questions."

With that, you quickly got to work, splitting up to get things done faster.

The goal of the experiment was to calculate the concentration of an unknown acid based on how concentrated of a base solution you made.

After a previous incident that caused quite a large percent error (and wasted perfectly good product), you had kicked Tom off of weighing duties, instead leaving him to measure out the volume of liquid acid needed.

You were adding water to the solid base in a beaker when you heard a voice say "ah shit" under his breath. Any time you heard Tom say that, you knew that meant something was up.

When you turned, you found that Tom had spilled some acid on the counter, just a few inches from your laptop.

"Dude!" you exclaimed, grabbing it and setting it on a higher platform quickly. "Am I gonna have to take you off all measuring duties?"

Tom gave you a worried look.

"I'm sorry! I was trying to add it to the beaker from the graduated cylinder but some of it stuck to the side and spilled."

You furrowed your brows.

"Wait why did you measure it in the cylinder? You know the beaker has lines on it, right? We just have to factor the error into our calculations."

Tom went to facepalm, but stopped when he remembered the gloved hand he'd raised had acid on it.

"Now you remind me..." he muttered.

"Why don't you go waste what's left and clean this up while I measure some fresh into the beaker," you smiled patiently, knowing that small mistakes like this flustered him easily.

When you came back, Tom was washing the burette with a few milliliters of the base you had made over the sink. You looked down and saw a couple of drops had fallen from the base beaker.

"Well lets just hope that neutralized the acid he spilled," you thought as you went to wet a paper towel.

He saw you wiping up the spot when he came back to set up the burette.

"What are you doing? I already got the acid."

"I um... I spilled a little drop of my own. No biggie," you lied, hoping he wouldn't press it.

"I spilled some of the base, didn't I?" he asked flatly. You cringed but nodded. "Great. This really is my day so far."

You felt bad. Sure Tom could be clumsy or a little slow when it came to "common sense," but usually it was just one small thing towards the end of the lab, definitely not successive.

"Hey, look at it this way, the only 'bad' thing you did today was spill some reagents. And you already got it out of your system before we even started!"

"I'm not sure that's helping as much as you think it is, but thanks for the sentiment, y/n."

You scrunched your nose at his answer, but moved on, wanting to get the first titration done quickly, since you'd need to repeat it 2 more times.

Thankfully the first went by without a hitch. The numbers all seemed to be in order and it wasn't long before you were starting the experiment again to collect new data.

A while had passed, however, and your hunger was starting to make itself apparent. You tried to talk to Tom to distract yourself, but your stomach started growling enough that even he took notice.

"Seriously, y/n I'll get that granola bar for you if you want it," he offered again.

"No, I'll be okay. It looks like we only need to take a few more data points so we'll be done with the third trial in no time. Thanks, though."

As expected, you finished the second quickly and moved on to the third.

"Hey I'm going to clean up some of our glassware real quick if you don't mind taking measurements," you said, wanting to get ahead on cleanup so you could finally grab a meal. Tom nodded and you took some beakers to the sink.

As you were drying them, you saw Tom give you a nervous look from your station.

Oh no.

You quickly shoved the glassware in a drawer and walked over to find the solution had changed colors and all of the base drained from the burette.

"Tom what happened?" you asked, afraid that this meant you would need to do the trial again.

He looked worried as he held up a plastic piece. The stopper had broken off.

"Tom what the hell! We were almost out of here!"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry but maybe the TA won't make us do it again? I was like.. basically to the endpoint."

You called the TA over, who looked at your data and sighed.

"Look, I know this is your last run but you've still got some base left, so why don't you do it one more time. You two are still a whole trial ahead of everyone else so it's not like you'll have to stay late," she said.

Internally, you were fuming, but thanked the TA and waited for her to leave.

"Why can't you just do something right for once!" you breathed, exasperated. You felt tears forming out of frustration.

Tom looked at you with glassy eyes of his own and you immediately felt like the worst person in the world.

You knew the hunger was getting to you but it didn't excuse your behavior. You tried to soften your expression.

"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean it like that-"

"Like what, y/n? What other possible way could you have meant that? I get it, I'm a fuckup. Why don't you just do the last one and I'll write down the numbers. Surely I can do that right," he bit back, getting up to get you a new burette to replace the broken one.

You did the rest of the lab in silence. You'd tried saying something here or there, but he wouldn't even look at you, instead copying numbers into both his and your notebooks.

Your guilt had made you almost forget about your hunger, but it was still tugging at the back of your mind.

When you were done, most of the other groups were finishing up as well, so you and Tom wordlessly split up the tasks of cleaning things up to work around them.

You were putting the smaller glass pieces back into a casing that fit in a drawer when Tom went to grab his backpack and put away his notes.

As you did the same, you saw Tom's hand move before he zipped the bag and headed out quickly.

Left on the counter next to you was the granola bar he'd offered up earlier.

Now you felt even shittier. Here you were lashing out at the guy and he was still trying to take care of you.

You zipped up your bag as quickly as possible and stuffed the snack into your pocket as you ran out of the lab, hoping to catch up with him.

It was still another half hour or so until the normal class change, so the hallway and rest of campus was mostly empty. You easily spotted him opening up the door to your left.

"Tom, wait!"

He glanced back but didn't stop, stepping out into the sunshine.

You ran that way, bursting through the door as Tom was stomping away.

"Tom! Please just listen!" you exclaimed, running to catch up to him. He didn't stop, instead picking up the pace.

"Why should I listen to you? I am keenly aware of what you think of me."

"Because I don't really feel that way, Tom! You're not a fuckup."

Finally he stopped under a large tree.

"I may not be that but apparently I can't do anything right so take your pick on what's worse."

He looked angry and hurt, justifiably so. You grabbed his arms and looked him in the eyes.

"Tom, I am so, so sorry for what I said. I was hungry and frustrated and not at all patient with you. We all have bad days, and I shouldn't have forgotten that in the heat of the moment."

"That's the thing! My bad days are every day! I can't get through my day without tripping, breaking something, spilling reagents all over the lab! You weren't wrong about me and that's what freaks me out the most."

"But, I was! You aren't that person I mean-"

"Y/n just accept it. I've had girls break up with me because of this. My own roommates, hell my family, get pissed at me constantly because I can't do things right. I was naive enough to think that I was doing something right with you but here we are."

Tom hung his head before realizing what the implications of what he had said, popping back up to look at you with wide eyes. You could only smile.

"I like to think you were doing something right with me all along. I'm the one who messed everything up today. Tom, you are one of the sweetest, most genuine people I know. You're funny, hella smart, adorable. I don't deserve an incredible guy like you in my life. I mean, after what I said, you were still willing to give me your food? I can't think of anyone else who would do that for me."

Tom perked up some, a grin coming to his face.

"You needed it a lot more than me. But do you really mean that? You feel that way?"

"Of course I do." You paused, studying his face.

After a few seconds you reached up to grab his shoulders and kissed his cheek, then pulled him into a hug.

"I really hope you can forgive me. I truly think the world of you," you whispered.

He pulled back and brushed a strand of hair from your face. Both of you had watery eyes but grinned. He nodded, the did the unexpected.

He pressed a gentile kiss to your lips.

You both let out a chuckle in both relief and nervousness as you pulled away. You wiped your eyes as he did the same. There was a lull in conversation until you remembered something.

You patted your pockets, finding and fishing out the granola bar. You held it out to his and he gave you a confused expression.

"I, um. I think you should keep this for now."

"What do you mean? I gave it to you to eat."

"Well yeah but it's just... how would you like to join me in the dining hall instead? Call it a date, call it a post-lab meal. Either way, I'm hungry and would really like you to join me."

He thought about it for a second, but finally smiled and took the bar from your hand, sliding it in the side of his backpack.

"Come on, I could use a snack too," he answered, sticking an elbow out for you to wrap your arm in. "You think they'll have your banana nut muffin still?"

"I don't really care about that anymore, I think I've got a perfect muffin right here. But we should probably still hurry before the lines get too long."

⚛

A/N: I'm sorry but writing soft Tom was ??? Precious? I made myself feel so bad for him and he literally has never been, nor will ever be, in this situation but I mean come on.

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#lab partners #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland x you

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rival-rook · 3 years ago

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Today Laika and I took the biggest baby step towards scooter joring: actually running with a scooter! It went so well, I honestly wish I'd had someone to video it bc I'm so proud of her 💖 I really think this will be useful in her conditioning and we both had a lot of fun! The rest of this post is a training journal type thing and it's not terribly interesting, please feel free to hit "j" to skip.

THINGS THAT WENT GOOD:

-as expected, Laika is not afraid of the scooter or the noises it makes. She started a little bit when we went over a curb and everything jostled but settled back down immediately

-her "detangling" commands worked well but she still needs a fair amount of hand luring if the leash isn't providing pressure in the correct direction. She continues to not understand chirality but tbh me neither bud

-her gait transition cues worked!!! I did not anticipate that at all, I worked on those very briefly months ago but she picked up canter* within one or two steps of the command! This is going to be really useful as an indicator of her energy as when she got tired she would no longer canter even with a lot of encouragement.

- her "wait" command is... Good enough. She mostly still bases it on if I seem like I'm slowing/stopping rather than the command, but she's very tuned in to what I'm doing so it works well.

- directions are a mixed bag. "Gee" is right on the money, "haw" is a little laggy and more based on my telegraphing. "Over" (side/half pass to the left) is 100%, "closer" (side/half pass to the right) might as well not exist apparently lol. We have a specific part of our daily walks where we use "over" a lot, so I think intentionally adding a time where we use "closer" would fix that. I'm not sure what's going on with "haw" except that my partner apparently only turns to the left when walking her bc she likes saying "gee".**

- zero issues with squirrel chasing/being distracted by other dogs. Very much had her working brain on!

- cheese worked great as a reward during high activity. I usually use kibble for training but she tends to swallow those whole and then cough them back up if she's too active, cheese apparently can be swallowed whole with no issue.

THINGS TO WORK ON:

- I also need a lot of conditioning and to remember my inhaler lol. I think I went right to the limit of my endurance but only really took the edge off her energy lmao. I also need to work on my form/biomechanics but that mostly only affects me so I'm not too worried about it

-i also need to wear gloves bc the vibrating sensation thru the handle bars is Bad

- at this point she's primarily choosing a loose leash heel to the left, occasionally out in front when cantering. I'm fine with this bc I want to build up her muscle+get a proper harness before I ask her to pull anything, but I did expect that she would be out in front more since that's her preferred position while walking. However, she's only ever pulled from a heel before and she's never had cheese reward for being out in front. So I'll need to work on positioning as well as letting her know it's ok to pull in the new harness

-related to the above, the six foot lead is a little long for a heel position but about right for out in front. I definitely don't want one of the eight foot bungee leads but I think a six foot one would be ok.

- "wait", "closer" and "haw" as noted above

Overall, very very fun!! A great option for when I can't take her to the dog park to run and hopefully will help her get back to a higher level of fitness!

*I use a terrible mix of horse, livestock, and dog terms sorry. I'm sure there are ppl talking about training specific gaits in dogs but I'm doing it horse-wise.

** I use gee and haw backward for synesthesia reasons. Gee is closer in color to left and vice versa for haw, so that's how I use em bc Laika doesn't know the difference and I literally could not remember them the "right" way around. Will this bite me in the ass at some point? Possibly but I hope it's funny when it does

#Laika #mine #best dog #my outfit was very... practical lmao #she looks so little in that picture... my tiny 50lb baby...#open to constructive criticism and advice from ppl who know what they're doing!

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whatifxwereyou · 4 years ago

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The Oncoming Storm Part 17: Blackout

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Oh no, you made things complicated. Lol. I'm having more fun writing Kung Lao than should be allowed. Hopefully you guys enjoy! And yes, I know this is tropey but I also don't care LOL, it's a fun trope.

Part 16 Part 18 Chapter Index

The hotel was surprisingly crowded. You weren’t sure what you’d expected but you hadn’t expected it to be bustling with tourists. There was a festival happening, you should have expected this. A bit outdated, the hotel was still clean and inviting. A welcome reprieve from the stone walls of Raiden’s Temple. You’d arrived early and still had to wait in line. Raiden had ‘transported’ you there which had been a wild experience in and of itself. You’d walked into a bolt of lightning and had come out in a quiet alley unseen.

It had been so long since you’d walked amongst the average civilian that it felt straight up bizarre to be walking along the streets of the modest city, especially in your hanfu. It was all you’d had, after all. No one looked at you twice other than to greet you politely. Most of the other folks staying at the hotel for the festival were couples on a romantic getaway which had made it instantly weird to be waiting in line with Kung Lao to check into your respective rooms.

Thankfully, the line moved quickly and once you’d checked in, you dropped off the few belongings you’d brought with you. The room was tiny with a single bed, a desk taking up nearly the rest of the room. Atop the desk was a television and beneath that was an old, ancient mini fridge. It would do well enough. This was the most technology you’d seen in weeks. Afterwards, you’d found Kung Lao and told him that you would meet him in an hour. You’d made note of a clothing store down the road and wanted to see if there was anything worth buying.

He, of course, decided to join you. No one trusted you alone anymore. He didn’t say it like that, but you knew that Raiden had told both him and Liu to keep an eye on you. You felt like a ticking time bomb.

Once at the shop you were disappointed to find that it sold mostly yukatas and kimonos. You supposed it was better than the flowy hanfu. At least you could pick out something that would be your own rather than something that had been handed to you.

Boy, you missed the internet.

You picked out a few pieces that you could work with a bit easier. Most of the hanfu were dresses or long flowy robes. Here you’d been able to find a few women’s kimonos that had hakama pants as an option. You had never been so excited to see pants in your life. You didn’t need the whole kimono, just the pants. Some constricted around the ankles while others were left open. You grabbed both and were extremely pleased.

“Sometimes, you’re a very simple woman.” Kung Lao had patted you on the back when you’d showed him the pants in excitement. You had to agree. In that moment you were very simple. Pants had brought you joy. You’d wandered away from him after that to find a few tops, belts, and jackets. Thankfully, you’d had your wallet on you when this had all begun so you had some money on you. In Raiden’s Temple, money hadn’t been necessary, so you were happy to spend it on the few things you did need.

They weren’t jeans and a t-shirt or even cute dresses, but it felt like a step in the right direction toward feeling like yourself again. You hadn’t realized how much it had bothered you until then.

Kung Lao had purchased just enough for the day in flattering red and black. That seemed to be his aesthetic though you could picture him in blues too for some reason. Then you made your way back to the hotel and to your rooms on the top floor. You had gotten rooms next to each other. You went to get changed and were happy with what you saw even in the half mirror on the desk. You stood on the bed to get a better look. Black hakama pants and a grayish-lavender and black top with a white sash tied around your middle. You then pulled your hair back in a ponytail and admired yourself in the mirror. Even though your hair was a mess you looked much more like yourself.

Your white roots had grown out a couple of inches now. It didn’t look bad, but it definitely didn’t look like it was on purpose either.

Oh well! You jumped off the bed and then left the room to find Kung Lao waiting for you, leaned against the wall next to your door. He had one foot propped against the wall, arms folded across his chest, hat obscuring his face as it often did. The clothing he’d bought wasn’t too terribly different from what he usually wore with the notable exception that he had sleeves which was truly a shame. He tilted his head up just enough to greet you before stepping away from the wall. You hadn’t left him waiting that long and yet he acted as though he’d been there for ages.

You noticed the jade ring from his usual outfit was woven into his outfit with the sash around his waist laced through it. It was kind of sweet that he always seemed to have it on him.

“Is that significant in some way? Special?” You asked, gesturing to the ring. He looked down at the ring in surprise and then nodded down the hall. You walked slowly through the hotel toward the stairwell.

“It’s a relic from my ancestor, the Great Kung Lao.”

“Oh, wow. About that, though… I’ve heard people mention him, but I had never heard the name before you. I know that he’s of some importance which has made you important…”

“I am incredibly important, thank you.”

“Yes, very. Keep talking.”

“He was the first champion of Mortal Kombat who had come from the Shaolin Order of Light. He defeated Shang Tsung and won the tournament.” Kung Lao seemed as though he had told this story a hundred times but was still proud to tell it. It was oddly sweet. “He was champion of Earthrealm for fifty years before the tournament was corrupted and he was killed. Even so, he is held in great reverence. He was a remarkable warrior.”

“Is that why you have a dragon mark?”

“Yes, that is why I have the mark. It’s also why I was sent away so young. I’d already been training long before I’d met you. When I left it was because it was time for me to go live at the temple.”

You stopped walking before the stairs and he stopped just in front of you and turned to face you. “Then why were you so bad when we would pretend to fight?”

“I held back. I wanted you to have fun too. Besides, it felt nice to be normal back then.” He laughed and you caught up to him and started down the stairs. “I was thinking that we should come up with a story as to why we’re here.”

“Should we?”

“Obviously. We need a reason to be here.”

“Other than the reason we actually have?”

“And when a bunch of strangers ask you why we’re here, are you going to tell them the real reason we’re here?”

“Point taken.”

“We need a cover.”

“Do we really though? I don’t remember ever having to justify my actions that intensely to strangers before. We can just be visiting.” You jumped down the last two stairs to the landing between flights. Pants felt great. Kung Lao seemed to either be overthinking your trip or grasping at straws to get to some end point. Or he was going to cause trouble. You would never forget the look that both Raiden and Liu had given him on their way out.

“I’ve been asked three times what brings me to Mount Osore during the festival. I came up with a lie on the spot but I’m no terribly proud of it or anything.”

“And what is this lie you came up with?”

“I said I was here on a date. Everyone else seems to be here on a date, so it was the first thing that jumped to mind.”

You rolled your eyes at him and he laughed in surprise, waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. You caught up to him. “Really, Kung Lao?”

“What? It’s the first thing I could think of! The people asking me were on a date and so I stuttered that I was too.”

“Kung Lao, no.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“Can’t we just say we’re visiting and that it’s no one’s business?” You walked into the lobby and he hurried in front of you and took your hands, clasping them between his. You sighed. “Would you…” The lobby was very crowded.

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Would you,” he continued, talking over you, “do me the honor of going on a cute little pretend date with me so that we can sneak into an ancient Buddhist Temple built within the caldera of a volcano so that we can uncover an ancient and possibly cursed artifact together?” You stared at him in disbelief, but it was taking every ounce of your energy not to burst into laughter. He was such a dork. “I will get down on my knees and ask you again if you don’t answer me.” He got down on his knees and you broke. Laughing, you pulled your hands free, grabbed his arms and tugged.

“Oh my god, get up, Kung Lao.”

“It’s a great cover, Y/N.”

“It is an exactly okay cover. But fine. I haven’t done something terribly embarrassing in a while, so I guess I’m overdue for this.” You agreed at least. He was right. It was a good cover considering this whole place was filled with couples. Besides, if it got Kung Lao to drop the subject then you would be happy to agree. The whole display had made your cheeks burn.

“Embarrassing, huh? Come on, Y/N. It’s not such a bad thing, is it? Could be worse looking guys to end up with, right?” He walked at your side again, making a teasing kissy face and leaning close to you. You leaned away with an awkward and nervous laugh.

“If you keep doing things like that then you are going to get smacked.”

“Worth it.” He held the door open for you and together you left the hotel. Outside a bus waited to take tourists to the shrine for the festival. People were already loading onto it. Kung Lao offered you his hand and you looked to him skeptically. He grabbed your hand anyway and then you walked onto the bus. “You’re going to have to get better at pretending.” You found seats near the back of the bus and even as you sat, he didn’t let go of your hand. You felt incredibly silly. Yet, it also made your heart flutter. As much as you had given him a hard time, you also happened to think it was an incredibly sweet and kind of wholesome idea.

Funny enough, you had thought of this moment before but in a much different context. Maybe in a life where your childhood together hadn’t ended so traumatically. Where you’d stayed close friends and he’d have asked you out when you were old enough. In a way, you felt like a silly schoolgirl, something you hadn’t felt in years.

If he hadn’t died then this was exactly where you would have wound up. Somehow that made you feel much less silly and you finally relaxed. Kung Lao pointed out several interesting things on the side of the road through the window and you listened to him chatter on until the bus was pulling up to the shrine. You waited for the others to get off the bus and then you walked ahead of Kung Lao and stepped off it.

The shrine was huge and it took your breath away.

So much so that it made you dizzy.

A river flowed before you then beneath a red bridge. To the left of the bridge there was a white beach lining the bluest and most artificial-looking water that you had ever seen in your life. Rocks were piled alongside the shore in strange formations. Beyond the bridge there was a stone path that led to the shrine in the distance, and it was lined with old lanterns. You walked to the edge of the stone path where the bus had dropped you off to try and get a better look at the water.

That was a teal color you had never seen before in nature. In your mind’s eye, you recalled your vision and it made your stomach drop. You took a step further and were suddenly grasped around the waist and pulled away from the edge of the stone. Then Kung Lao looped his arm in yours. “You looking to take a dip?”

You hadn’t realized that you had almost walked right into the river. You hadn’t been thinking. The water had bewitched you, it seemed. You needed to get a closer look at it but now that you’d been turned away from it, the feeling had gone. From there you could smell the acidity in the humid air. That was likely why it was so blue. “Pay more attention, okay?”

You weren’t sure what to say to him. It was surreal being there. This place was exactly the same as it had been in your vision but also years, possibly centuries had passed since then. The shrine buildings themselves were much larger than they had been then. They were even a different color. Your head was spinning as you tried to take in everything at once. It was an overload. You grabbed Kung Lao’s arm to try and ground yourself. You felt as though you were floating and the wind would take you away.

Kung Lao led you onto the bridge and at its apex you sat and watched the water trickle beneath it. He helped you lean your elbows against the railing and then placed a supportive hand on your back.

“It’s okay. Take a second.” He seemed to realize that you were having a difficult time. How could you explain that you were struggling to wrap your mind around being in a place where you’d had such a vivid and violent vision? You were grateful for him. Your heart was racing and you watched the water flowing beneath the bridge, over the rocks. Your stomach had dropped. It felt as though you were intimately familiar with this place, as though you had spent years there, but you had never once seen it before. At the same time, everything felt completely new. Your brain was waging war with itself. “You okay?”

“Yeah, this is just… surreal.” You were finally able to collect your thoughts enough to talk.

“You went a bit gray. Figured you needed a minute.”

“I appreciate it.”

“So, where do we go?”

“There’s a well inside one of those buildings.” You nodded to your right where the shrine was at the end of the stone path.

“Vague, but okay.” He peered to the right and then pointed. “It’s off limits.” From there you could see a series of ropes that blocked off the building from visitors. “Great.”

“It’s crowded enough here. I’m sure we can sneak in just fine.”

“Of course.” He leaned next to you on his forearms, hands clasped together. “This place is a little spooky.”

“It is. I read a brochure from the hotel lobby. The monks here believe that it’s the gateway to hell. The river beneath us is supposed to represent the Sanzu.” You pointed below you. It was a little spooky, you supposed, but it was also incredibly beautiful.

“I read about that. I also read that there are holy water bathhouses and volcanic cauldrons with crazy colored water.”

“Yeah, and a lake of blood.”

“I hate that, Y/N.” He stuck his tongue out at the idea. You laughed. He was too funny. He had this way of making you feel at least even about the big and often uncomfortable things sometimes. Other times he drove your anxiety through the roof. Thankfully, this wasn’t one of those moments. “What do you say that we get to sneaking in and find this thing so that we can have a bit of fun for the rest of the day, huh?”

“That sounds nice.”

He took your hand once again and you walked over the bridge and along the stone path. The lanterns were decorated for the festival along with the rest of the shrine. Monks walked about, greeting visitors and answering questions while explaining various attractions. Most visitors, and there were many, were straying from the temple in favor of the white sands or the volcanic cauldrons. You and Kung Lao walked until you reached the ropes before the shrine. You stood there for a time in the shade, waiting for your moment to sneak in unseen.

“Coast is clear,” you whispered and turned to keep watch while Kung Lao snuck into the shrine. Once inside, you waited for your opportunity and followed him. Inside, the building was ancient but to you it seemed oddly brand new. It wasn’t the same shrine that you remembered from your vision. Much had changed since that wicked man had been there.

No one was waiting for you inside the small entryway or in the room beyond. That seemed like the central room, with space for prayer and a dip in the center for dining. The floor was lined with tatami mats and the ceiling was high, windows on the second floor spattering sunlight throughout the room. Halls branched off in each direction and you suddenly felt overwhelmed with choice. It had seemed so much simpler in your vision.

“Lead the way but be cautious. We’re not alone.” Kung Lao spoke in a hushed tone, staying close to you but alert.

“Yeah.” You started through the room and down the closest hallway, checking to see if it was empty first. Kung Lao took your hand and you urged him along with you. Your stomach was in knots and his hand there continued to keep you grounded. Several times you encountered monks going about their business and you had to duck into other rooms or sneak back around corners. You somehow managed to remain unseen, having to huddle together in strange spaces and hide in enclosed areas. It would have been fun had it not been so damn frustrating.

None of it made sense! As you turned down another hall, you sighed in frustration. You’d wound up there twice already. Your gut kept sending you there and back to the central room but there was no indication that it was the same place that the vision had taken place in. Kung Lao suddenly pulled you back into the side room and held you against the wall near the door. There were footsteps in the hall, and you held your breath until they had passed. You made to go back into the hall, but Kung Lao pinned you in place.

“You’re leading us in circles.”

“I know. It’s hard to explain. It’s like someone’s moving everything around while we’re walking. It doesn’t make any sense. I think I’m going one way and then we’re back to where we started.” It was making you sick to your stomach, as a matter of fact.

“You can do this. Just focus.”

“Kung Lao, you have no idea what’s going on in my head right now. I am focusing.”

“You’re right I don’t. So, tell me.”

“I’m not sure that I have the words to explain that the room we’re looking for should be right around the corner but then it isn’t.” It really was disorienting to expect to be in one place and end up in another. “It shouldn’t have been this far back but also this place is ten times bigger than it had been in my vision.”

“I need you to try still.”

You were mixed up. It was like someone was moving rooms in your head and before you knew it, you had once again led him back into the central room which made both you and Kung Lao groan in annoyance.

“Oh good. We’re back. I was worried.”

“It should be right here, but everything looks so different!”

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’ll figure it out.”

“It’s not okay, Kung Lao. It should be right here. I wish I could just show you.” The frustration was radiating off you, you were sure. “I can’t-”

“Is someone there?” A voice from somewhere down the hall called and footsteps approached from a distance.

“Fu…” Kung Lao whispered and then grabbed you and searched for somewhere to hide. The closest hall was too far. You were caught. “Don’t panic.” He urged you to the wall with surprising care and you made a sound of surprise. What did he mean don’t panic? You were instantly panicking. Don’t panic? What was wrong with him? He leaned against you and tilted your chin up and his head toward you like he was going to kiss you, obscuring you both with his hat. “Act natural, Y/N.” His lips brushed against your cheek, just next to your lips. “I swear, you’re terrible at this.” You were stiff as a board, so he had every right to scold you, but also he was pretending to kiss you so what the hell were you supposed to do with that? What was natural in this case?

You gave him a swift but soft punch in the gut and he laughed against your cheek in return. That made you feel a bit better. He lifted his head just enough and you peered toward the door nearby, waiting for the monk that would inevitably kick you out. You could have had time to hide at this rate. Kung Lao’s lips were pressed against your cheek and they were soft even if it was just in a mock kiss close enough to your lips to look like you were sneaking a private moment.

You peered around the corner, thinking maybe you were in the clear. Kung Lao did the same and when you turned back to tell him that maybe the monk had decided to turn away, you found him extremely close to you. Intimately so. His dark eyes were serious and that always scared you for whatever reason. He tilted your chin toward him and all other thoughts slipped out of your brain.

What were you doing there? Where were you anyway? And why? Did it matter?

Not right now it didn’t.

His hand was on your chin, thumb brushing just below your lip, urging your lips to part just enough. You dared not breathe to break the tension of the moment. The sneaking and searching were gone completely from your thoughts. All that was left was the boy that you’d so admired in your youth grown into a handsome man with his hand against the wall at your side, the other inextricably lost below your lower lip.

His eyes were searching you, but you dared not look back into them for fear of what you might find, for fear of what it might reveal to you. His breath warmed your lips before they were on yours, parting them like a blossom in a soft and singular tender movement. A far superior kiss than the one he’d pretended to give you for the sake of saving your skin.

His lips were sweet. Not like sugar or candy, but sweet like the lingering taste of honey at the bottom of a cup of tea. It was a feeling of sweetness rather than a flavor. The moment was still and soft, his lips treasuring yours as though they were something sacred and special. They pulled back just enough from yours that you could feel your lips resisting to part as if they had minds of their own. His eyes were searching you still for answers and in wonder, but you didn’t dare meet them. Yet, you could feel his gaze and beneath your fingertips, that had betrayed you and now rested on his chest, you could feel his heart beating almost as hard as yours.

His breath graced your lips again, but you dared not breathe. You wanted to say something, even just a whisper of his name, but no words would come and you sat there, lips parted in waiting, avoiding his eyes, hand clutching the cloth at his chest, unsure of where you even were or why. This was Kung Lao.

Your Kung Lao.

A soft sigh escaped his lips as they were on yours again, but the softness was gone, though there was something about them that was still sweet even so. The force of his kiss pressed you against the wall, leaving you no escape- not that you wanted to escape. This was a moment that the ten-year-old inside your head had both longed for and not understood. You would have been a fool not to return his kiss, to taste and experience his lips the way that he was with yours and so you did. You kissed him and it was like a storm inside you beyond your control, building with electricity with every moment that passed.

There was a tender moment of acceptance where it felt as though time stood still. The soft moment faded quickly to frenzied desperation. There was no space left between you. Kung Lao was pressed against you, body warm and strong, hat nearly pushed back off of his head as he favored kisses over his possessions. Your hands moved up his chest, to the sides of his neck, fingertips then tangling in the short, messy tendrils of his hair at the base of his hairline. Your heart was doing flips, brain completely turned off to anything that had happened before this, even if somewhere in the distant reaches of your mind you could hear your instincts telling you that you had to stop. Whatever muting effect had been triggered in your brain had seemed to impact Kung Lao as well.

In one swift motion, fluid and strong, his hands were at your thighs and he had lifted you and pressed you against the wall, urging your legs to wrap around him. Your arms slipped naturally around his shoulders, pulling him closer between hot and increasingly sloppy kisses.

“Excuse me?”

Ah, yes. The monk. That was right.

You stopped kissing him.

Kung Lao’s lips finally pulled from yours and you could feel that your own were left slightly swollen from the desperation and passion of those precious few moments. When had you gotten so tangled up in each other? His chest was rising and falling against yours quickly and even though he’d pulled back his lips lingered close to yours as if to consider defying the monk further.

“My apologies.” The monk sounded embarrassed and bowed multiple times. “This area is closed to the public for the festival.”

You finally managed to regain your thoughts and untangled yourself from Kung Lao. You placed your feet on the ground and cleared your throat though your face was likely as red as his robes. He released you from his grip though he made no effort to step away. You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat and forced your brain to work.

“Is it?” You sounded surprised and were grateful that you had. You hadn’t expected to be a very good actor after all that, but you had been surprised to be interrupted and also confused as to where your mind had gone. It was more feigning innocence than lying. The monk nodded and looked as though he sincerely felt bad for interrupting you. “I’m sorry. We had no idea.”

“It’s no worries. I will happily escort you back to the festivities. Follow me.”

“Sorry about that.” Kung Lao, who you had never seen at a loss for words, seemed to finally regain himself. Just like that, he was back to the goof he’d been when you’d first arrived. “We were just sneaking off to have a private moment. Didn’t realize it was off limits.”

“It happens all the time. You’d be surprised.” The monk led you back through the central room and into the entryway. You elbowed Kung Lao as you followed the monk and he laughed beneath his breath. Once outside the monk bowed to you and then left you alone. You leaned your head back and stared into the sunny blue sky with a sigh. You needed a new plan. That one had gone off the rails in a way you hadn’t expected.

#kung lao #mk kung lao #kung lao x reader #liu kang x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #kiss #romance #fluff #mortal kombat 2021 #mortal kombat movie #kung lao x you #kung lao/reader #kung lao/you #max huang #ludi lin #angst

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 5 years ago

Text

loving you is the antidote

Summary:

Harry meet you at the gala and you both spent the whole night talking. He didn't get your number and he thought that was the end of you both, but later you both found your way back to each other while filming the Golden music video in italy.

Warning: fluff

Word count: 3.9k

Title: loving you is the antidote

Pairing: harry styles x reader

author note: been waiting to post this lol

Masterlist • requested closed. Don't send any!

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. Comments and reblog welcome!

Here's how it started.

You woke up to your alarm blaring. Any other day you would hate that, but today you were quite grateful for it. You were going to the met gala for the first time in your career as a model. It was exciting.

You hopped out of the bed. Before you left your room you grabbed your phone before walking down the hallway to the kitchen.

It was 11 in the morning, birds were chirping and the sun was casting light on your kitchen. It felt nice against your skin as you pulled out your cereal and milk. You walked over to the island and took a seat and began to eat your breakfast while you scrolled through Instagram.

You didn't notice it at first, but you got a dm from someone you really adored. When you finally noticed, you gasped loudly

It was Harry Styles

You just couldn't believe it. The spoon in your hand, feel from your fingers as you pressed his contact. A message popped up and you began to read them.

Hi it's Harry styles. I just wanted to say I really admire what you do. I hope we can meet if you're going to the met gala tonight because I am. We can talk if you'll like, just really want to meet you. See you then hopefully. Love H.

The last bit made you smile a lot. You were really thinking about messaging him back, but you decided to surprise him until you got to the gala.

You finished up your breakfast with a racing heart. Harry styles out of all people liked what you did; he admired it. That made you shocked, at the same time giddy, also nervous.

After you finished your breakfast, you got up from the table, placing your bowl in the sink. As soon as you turned your phone began to ring. Walking back to the table, you picked it up seeing that it was your manager Sara.

Quickly you picked up. "Hi Sara." You practically screamed into the phone. You already regret it.

"Wow you're quite exciting. What happened? it's almost 9 in the morning, you're never this happy." Sara chuckled. You knew she was shaking her head.

"Sorry Sara. It's just… I got a message from someone special today."

"Ohh who?" She asked flirty. You laughed. "It was from harry styles. He wanted to see me at the met gala. He said he admired me." You began to beam as you remembered that message.

"Wow y/n lucky you." Sara laughed. "Well if you're going to see him at the gala then me and Jenny have to come over and get you ready."

"I'm ready to get ready." You nodded even though she couldn't see you. "Okay well I'll see you in about…" Sara looked down at her watch. "In about an hour. I'll see you till then ok?"

"Okay Sara." You said your good-byes to each other and ended the call. You exhaled after sitting your phone down on the kitchen counter. You were going to take a nice warm shower before Sara got here because it was always needed

You walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, to the bathroom. You inched over to the shower, turning the on knob to the hot water. While it got warm, You began to stare at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes, Harry styles still on your mind.

When you noticed you were daydreaming you quickly snapped out of it. "Gosh." You muttered to yourself. You turned to the shower seeing the glass steaming with fog. You began to strip from your pajamas until you were bare as the day you were born.

Slowly you got under the warm shower. Your muscles relaxing as a sigh passed your lips. Water trickled down your skin as you stood under the shower head. It felt amazing, and you'll love to stay in there forever, but you had things you had to do and that wasn't an option.

You began to wash your body. After about 5 minutes you were satisfied by how clean you were and turned off the shower head. You got out, right after wrapping a towel over your damp body, before you walked over to your vanity to begin your morning routine.

You bopped your head to Golden that was now blasting on your phone as you got yourself ready. You just loved Harry's angelic voice as he sang from his heart.

You were so in your element you didn't notice Time was moving quickly. The doorbell rang making you jump slightly. You got up out of your vanity chair and Walked to the door.

Opening it, you were met with Sara and your makeup artist and stylist. "How are you y/n?" Jeffrey, your makeup artist, asked as you let them all in. "Um…" you drew a long breath. "Pretty good."

You shut the door behind you before turning to look at them. "That's amazing. I heard the very famous Harry styles adores you." He gave you wiggly eyebrows as he sat his makeup case down. You began to blush at his knowing.

"Yes he does adore me. He wants to see me later which is pretty exciting." You clashed your hands together, smiling widely. Your stylist Maria laughed, "well take a seat. We're going to glam you up for this big day." You smiled at them and took a seat at your dining room table. "Work your magic."

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

two hours later they were all done. Your makeup was done, so was your hair. You decided on a white Versace dress to wear to the gala because it made you feel sexy and look sexy. Your team agreed on that last statement when you walked out of your bedroom with it on.

"Oh my gosh y/n you look amazing honey." Jeffrey said.

You twirled around, showing off the lace dress. "I love it, it looks so nice." Sara walked over to you. "Are you ready to go?" She smooths out the dress before looking at you.

"I'm more than ready." You said, beaming. "Alright then," Sara clashed her hands together. "Let's go then."

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

The drive to the gala didn't take long. You were so giddy to go. It was probably mostly because of Harry. As you pulled into the driveway of the art museum, Jeffrey made sure your makeup was perfect before you even stepped out of the car.

Sara stepped out first before a guard helped you out. You took a deep breath as you saw people everywhere. You put on a smile as the door was shut behind you.

Slowly, you walked up the steps, the photographer calling your name for you to look at their camera. You posed, giving them every angle.

You eventually reached the top of the stairs. Waiting up there was an interviewer wanting to interview you.

"Y/n, how are you?" She asked you, holding the microphone up to you. "I'm great. Really excited to be here." You looked at the interviewer, ready for her next question.

"What are you wearing tonight?"

"Um… I'm wearing versace. I've wanted to wear this dress forever. I'm very excited to be wearing it." You laughed at the end of the sentence before smiling.

"Well it's your first time to the gala, are you excited to see anyone?" She looked at you, waiting for your answer. You were dying to say Harry styles, but you know what kinda drama that could start. So you said some other people you were actually excited to see. "I'm excited to see Blake lively and Zendaya." You kinda lied.

The interviewer went with it and asked you a few more questions before she ended. Sara then led you to where the party was. You breathed a sigh of relief, but your heart was beating fast. Harry styles could be anywhere in the building. That excited you a lot. A waiter came over to you with a glass of wine. You took it right after you thinked him. You stood in the back and looked around at the sea of people. They were dressed beautifully from head to toe. You felt kinda shitty because your dress wasn't much compared to others. But a voice made you forget about the others around you.

"You look stunning."

You turned to your left to see the one and only harry. Your eyes met with his emerald eyes and it felt like you both were the only two in the building. A smile appeared on Harry's face as he walked closer to you. The pit in your stomach filled with butterflies the hurted, but in the most amazing way.

"How are darlin'?" Harry asked. "Um… I'm great." You were flustered and Harry noticed. "Don't worry, I'm not going to bite." He winked at you, making you giggle a little.

"Uh so you want to talk?" You asked him, sitting the champagne glass on the bar top that was behind you. Harry nodded lightly. "Yes, I would like to talk. Follow me."

Harry began to lead the way. You followed him, trying not to freak the hell out. Harry led you to a room where only a few people were. They were in their own little world so of course Harry brought you back there.

"Here sit beside me." Harry sat down in a chair and you sat in the one beside him. "So," Harry started, looking at you. "I just wanted to chat with you because you're pretty amazing."

You felt your face heat up at his words. "Thank you. You're pretty amazing yourself." Harry smiled, showing off his dimple. "Stopped, you're making me blush."

You chuckled at him. "No seriously you are. Your singing is unbelievably amazing and it just makes me forget about the world and smile." You looked off into the distance as you thought about those nights where you were belching lights up in your house by yourself.

"Thank you for making music." You turned back to Harry seeing him look at you with a smirk. "You're a doll. Well I'm going to say your modeling is awesome. I hope that doesn't sound weird but yeah it is."

“No it’s not. Thank you again.”

You and Harry kept talking. You both were flirting with each other like crazy. You would notice Harry's eyes falling to your lips as you talked. It made you flustered. You weren’t going to lie, you were doing the same thing.

You both didn’t notice that you had been talking for an hour until Sara came and told you that you unfortunately had to go. You looked back as Sara walked away.

“Well i gotta go.” you stood up and exhaled. “It was nice to meet you.” you turned to see harry getting up. “Same here.” he stood in front of you. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked into your eyes. You smiled slightly as shivers ran across your sink. Harry inched closer and closer to your lips, his eyes flickering to yours and to your lips. Both yours and Harry's hearts were racing.

Time stopped as Harry's lips touched yours. Your whole body tingled as he kissed you. The kiss was sweet, but had so much passion in it. You wanted to stay like this forever but you knew you couldn’t. You pulled away from Harry's lips, resting your forehead against yours.

“I have no words.” you muttered as you opened your eyes. Harry pulled away, looking at you. “Same. I really enjoyed this day with you, hopefully we meet again.” Harry said as he took his hand, brushing it over your cheek bone. “Well I should go before Sara comes and yells at me. Bye harry.”

You waved to him as you walked away, leaving his sight. Harry watched as you walked away. He knew you were going to be on his mind all week and he wouldn't have minded that.

Harry sat back down in the chair. A smile appeared on his face as he leaned back. You were something special.

-:-:-:-:

It's been a whole month since you've seen Harry. He was on your mind constantly. You loved every thing that happened on the night of the Met gala, but one thing you regret was not getting his number.

On the other side of the world, Harry was feeling the same way. You flooded his mind constantly. He fell asleep smiling as he thought about you. He wished he would've been smarter and got your number, but he couldn't go back and now he had to live with it.

Harry sat on his couch, his guitar tucked in between his arms and his thighs as he strummed away. He was coming up with some new music for his next album. The sound of his guitar filled Harry's ears. This song he was playing was about you and how close he was to getting you. He was really indulged in singing, so much when his phone rang it startled him.

He picked it up seeing that it was jeff. “Jeff?” Harry said. “Hi harry, so i was thinking we could do a music video for golden. What do you think?”

Harry suckedin his breath as he thought. “Um… I do like the sound of that. When do you want me to do it and where?”

“Um I was thinking today you can go to Italy and film like a 70s style music video. And I have the perfect girl for the video.” Jeff laughed on the other end of the phone. Harry smiled at Jeff's words, getting extremely curious. “Who is it?” Harry questioned. Jeff sucked in his breath. “Uh you have to go to italy to see.”

Harry shook his head laughing at jeff. “Okay you convinced. I’m going.” Harry got up and finished the call with jeff. After he hung up, Harry made his way to his bedroom to pack. He opened his closet and pulled out his suitcase. He began to stuff a few pairs of pants and trousers in his suitcase. When he had enough for a few days, he zipped up his suitcase and walked out of the room with it.

Harry wondered who Jeff was going to pair him with for the music video, but he’ll eventually see. Before Harry left he called Anne to tell her where he was going. She was still a huge Mama Bear. When he was finished with the call, he drove his way to the airport.

Watermelon sugar was blasting on the radio. Harry could help but belch out the song because you know it's his song. After about 15 minutes Harry arrived at the airport. He parked, got out of his car before making his way to the airport. After going through security he walked through the terminal. Of course while waiting to board some fans asked for a picture. He didn't mind so he took some pictures with a few. When Harry was finally in his seat by the window, he put in his airpods to listen to some 80s music and began to read a book.

2 hours and 30 minutes later Harry arrived in italy. Harry quickly unboarded so he wasn't seen. His taxi was already waiting for him when he exited the huge building. Harry put his bag in the trunk before getting into the back. The driver pulled away as soon as Harry buckled his seat belt. He was making his way to the hotel where Harry would be staying. While the driver was driving to his destination, Harry's eyes were outside of the window.

He loved italy a lot. It almost felt like his second home. He just felt so safe and welcome here.

"Alright we're here sir." The driver looked at Harry through the mirror. Harry looked at the guy, "okay, thank you." Harry said, reaching for his wallet. He tipped the guy a generous amount which earned a thanks. Harry smiled slightly at the guy before opening the door, taking his baggage and walking into the hotel.

Harry was quickly checked into a room. Once he got the key card he was off to the elevator. He was hoping to get in a nap before they filmed anything.

With his slinder, run clad fingers, Harry pressed the up button. It didn't take long for the door to open up. Harry walked in and sat down his luggage with an exhale. The door was about to shut 6 seconds later, but Harry heard a distant voice.

"Hold the door please."

And Harry did. He put his hand out and the door opened again. The voice that Harry heard now had a face to it. You walked into the elevator, smiling, not even aware who was beside you.

"Thank you for that. You pressed your floor before turning to see who it was. Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when you saw Harry.

"Harry!?" You were shocked. You didn't think you'd meet him again; yet here you both were in the same hotel.

"Y/n… How.. how are you?" Harry asked, stumbling to find his words. "I'm okay. I'm here to do a music video with someone." You said smiling.

"I'm doing a music video." Harry said. "Wait that's why Jeff was so giggly, it was you." Harry smiled causing you to do the same. "Well I guess our managers were thinking the right way." You laughed. "I'm happy I'm here. Especially know that you're as well."

Without hesitation Harry kissed you. God how you missed his lips. His tongue ran across your bottom lips before he kissed you zealously. You moaned a little as you cupped his cheeks deepening the kiss.

Unfortunately you both pulled away when the elevator dinged. You were breathless and so was harry. "This is my floor." You picked up your bag. "Um I'll see you later?" You said looking at Harry.

He nodded, "of course” you smiled at him as you walked out of the elevator. As soon as the door closed you squealed excitedly. Smiling, you walked down the hall to your suit that you were staying at. You struggled to get the key card in the slot from smiling so much but you eventually did and walked straight, tossing your bag to the ground. You fell back onto the bed with your arms wide open. You couldn’t stop smiling.

The italian sun outside of your window cascaded down on your body making you feel golden.

----

Harry was feeling the same. As soon as he entered his room he started doing his happy dance. He was more than happy, he was ecstatic. You did that to him. Harry calmed himself down before plopping down on his bed. He ran his hands over his hands trying to stop the smile on his face. He knew he couldn’t so he decided to sleep on it for an hour or so before he started filming.

Harry changed into some joggers and pulled off his shirt before getting comfy under the blanket. He fell asleep with a smile on his face(and also on his tummy hehe).

About an hour later, Harry woke up to his phone ringing. He adjusted from his sleep before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. “‘Ello?”

“Harry,” it was jeff. “ are you ready to film?” Harry sat up as soon as Jeff asked that. “Yeah. I just took a little nap.” he cleared his throat. “Okay be down stairs in 5 minutes, bye.” Jeff hung up before Harry could say bye, which Harry thought was rude.

He just pushed that out of his mind as he got out of the bed. He put on some shorts and a white button up shirt. Before he left the room he made sure his hair was perfect before grabbing his phone leaving the room.

Down the hall, near the elevator you were waiting for him. Harry of course smiled when he saw you because he didn't expect you to be waiting.

“Hi, what are you doing here waiting for me?” you walked up to him “well I ‘m scared of elevators.” you pouted your lip as you joked. Harry laid, “alright come on.”

He pressed the down button and waited for the elevator to open. “Wait how'd you get up to my floor then?” Harry asked, looking over at you. The way your eyes grew large as Harry caught you in your lie made him laugh.

The elevator opened and you and Harry walked in. you pressed the main floor and watched as the door closed. As you both went down, you couldn’t help looking over at harry. He was looking at the floors as they changed. You can see slight dimples in his cheek telling you he knew you were staring at him. You just chuckled softly before turning back, turning away, looking back forward.

The elevator soon came to a stop letting you and Harry off. Harry politely let you walk out first before he followed. Some crew that was helping film were waiting for you and harry to take you to the location you needed to go. You and Harry followed them outside before walking in the warm sun a block down to the filming location. When you arrived the director gave you and Harry simple instructions.

“Harry was up first driving the car and running. You watched as his curls blowing in the wind and how he made funny faces. You couldn't help but laugh to yourself at how adorable and hot he was.

you didn’t do much during your takes. so it was mostly you and Harry doing a little talking, giggling, and danced playfully. He was such a fun person to be around and you wish you could be with him Every day if it was possible.

After filming various takes the director called it a day. Your eyes were on the sky watching as the sun rays painted a golden picture on the sky. You didn't notice but Harry was looking at you with a smile.

Your skin glowed so nicely as the sun shined on you. A little smile played on your face making Harry chuckle quietly to himself.

He took it upon himself to walk over to you and wrap his arms around your waist. Of course you knew who it was - it made you smile.

"Hi Harry." You said leaning back. Harry looked at you as you looked up at him. "Hi y/n." Harry looked at the sky before speaking again. "You know something, when I left the gala I couldn't stop smiling. You were the first person that ever made me feel so free and so not famous. And when I forgot to ask I thought I lost my chances with you forever. My mind was going crazy; couldn't stop thinking about you for a second and how stupid I was to not get your number. But you know what?"

Harry looked at you. "What you mumbled. "None of that matters because I'm right here with you right now and there's nowhere I want to be."

You smiled softly at him. "I can say the same." You turned in Harry's arms. "I was going through a hard time before I met You. Not to be cliche or anything, but loving you is the antidote and I mean that."

Harry smiled before he cupped your cheek, kissing you tender and sweet.

The end

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

I love this. My longest fic too

best believe I got more coming

@captainamerica-is-bae

#harry styles #Harry styles x reader #Harry styles x black reader #Harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x female reader

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gaymershigh · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! I hope you’re having a great day! May I request a scenario of Malleus grieving over his s/o’s departure from Twisted Wonderland, then fast forward years later they accidentally stumble back into the Valley of Thorns? Please and thanks!

Angst with a happy ending...yes...something that I always crave in my entire life...this is gonna be g/n reader by the way because..why not? ╮(╯▽╰)╭ also please forgive me Crowley stans for demonizing him for most of my fanfics- I'm sure he's sweet at some point but uhm, not really for most of the time, lol.

Note: Myn lynkyng means "the one I delight in, the one who gives me pleasure" but it's nothing sexual in this context.

Triggers: None

I can't handle being here without you | Malleus x g/n reader

I finally found a way back for you to go home, isn't that wonderful?" You wish you could feel the joy as Crowley is feeling now but that's not just possible. Why would you want to go to a place where you barely even have any memories of than stay at a place filled with your best friends and a place where you met your forever lover, Malleus? It's been only a year that you guys are together, sure but your love for eachother is like if you were married for 80 years already. Throwing all that away like it was nothing but just a dream feels like something a villain would do, like betraying Malleus after all this time you've been together. But what can you do? You didn't really think it through and underestimated Crowley far too long for you to even remember that he actually does research your way home but he just takes a painfully long time and you doubt that he'll easily accept the fact that you now don't want to go home.

"ah...is that so?" You couldn't sound less enthusiastic, you were so disappointed that even the principal realized. "What's wrong? You don't sound excited." His expression changes to a more serious look as he peered at you with concern. "it's just that..I don't really know. I don't even remember how my life is back then except where I live. Here however..I know everyone here and I have people to assist me." You sighed in frustration, does your parents even remember you? How many years could have passed by? "I'm pretty sure they're missing posters and news of you everywhere! No matter how long it has passed. If someone found you, they'll definitely lend you to the professionals and they could guide you back to your home place!" his utterance went back to a cheerful matter. Jeez. He really doesn't want to deal with you anymore, does he? Oh well, that just sums it up that your protests won't do anything. You sighed in irritation and gave in, which made him smile even more. "But what about Grim? How should I tell Ace, Deuce and the others about this?"

"No worries, prefect! I shall take care of him. Ace and Deuce? Ah, your friends. Unfortunately, the only way for you to go without making them hurt is to just keep it a secret or else, they will try to stop you." It felt cruel to leave them behind without a single goodbye but he was right. Knowing them, they will be in tears trying to stop you from getting near that mirror and you can't bear that side. You guiltily nodded, before looking down in sadness. What about Malleus? you thought. How is he going to handle this news? You know that you wouldn't live with him for the rest of his life but you're going to separate faster than that and this made you torn to just run up to him and hug him to either say your goodbyes or secretly stay with him forever. Though, you feel like the latter is impossible so you'll woefully take your current path.

After your unforseen departure, news will start to spread. From Grim he will tell the news to your closest friends and they will spread it to other peers you have interacted to and later that will definitely spread to other than Malleus. "I'm hesitant to say that, (Y/N) when back to their world and I'm unsure if they will ever come back." When Lilia let those words roll out of his tongue, the fae was dead silent. The only thing that he spoke was a small 'oh' and nothing else but it was incredibly obvious he was devastated. Malleus got up from his chair and told the others he's going to his room which Lilia nodded, knowing exactly as to why. He really wanted to respect your choices but..he just couldn't. After everything, why did you go? Without even a single trace either other than the Ramshackle dorm to visit but that's not enough. Maybe adopting Grim could suffice but not now. He laid on his bed and sighed in sorrow. You're the only human- no, person who he has trusted and fully poured his feelings onto. Yes, he has Lilia and his two trusted bodyguards but it just doesn't feel the same. Your love is something that he knows that he won't physically receive forever as your time in the world is very limited but he knows that your love will be something that he could receive secretly while you're looking at him from above but knowing that you're still alive and you might never see each other ever again makes him anxious at the fact that you might find someone else.

Every single second you spend your time with him feels like heaven and is something he treasures deeply. From the first time you met to now, he remembered everything vividly. When you disappear out of the blue, his heart shattered to pieces like glass. Not only that, your friends have been in a dark, gloomy place and Sebek having mixed feelings about you. Even if your actions are selfish and wounded the young master, you're still the person who made him find his identity rather than just a servant. But Malleus cannot stay grieving forever, he is a prince who will soon be responsible at taking care of the Valley of Thorns and you're gonna go someday anyways, so it's not like he's going to be isolating himself all over again, right?

No, absolutely not. It's been a year since you're gone and he still just couldn't get you out of his mind. The only person that he gave all of his fondness and tenderness is gone and he can no longer feel that warmth of yours that you possess. No one, not even Lilia can rise up his mood every time he fortuitously passes by the Ramshackle dorm or stares at your closest friends just going about their day. He gets envious looking at other couples passing by every time there's an event where visitors are allowed. He wished he could learn about phones so maybe he could have kept in touch with you digitally? But it doesn't seem like you're communicating with your friends due to some problems occurring, Sebek saying your number is not available or something like that. He doesn't know what that means fully but just knowing that there's no way he can communicate with you at all breaks him even more. All of his cloud of thought is filled with you and the memories you two have created together. From just the regular chats to the first time you two shared that magical kiss. He really doesn't want to sound selfish but he prays that you don't forget about him as he will never forget about you. Even more so moving on and finding someone new.

Even if you're trying to forget about everything, it's impossible. You still have thoughts and dreams about your dreams and the memories you have created there. Mostly, was about Malleus. No matter if the dream is good or bad, you'll always wake up with tears streaming down your face. It has been a year but dreams about your Tsunotaro makes it feel like it's just yesterday. Sure, you found your parents/guardians and have had an ordinary but still a good life but..it just feels empty. Like there's a void in your heart that nothing can fill the gaps other than the horned boy. Everyone that tries to hit on you no matter how attractive, never intrigues you. The only thing that pops up in your mind 24/7 is Malleus. Malleus this, Malleus that. It feels empty but no matter what, you just couldn't stop thinking about him. What's he doing now? What's he thinking after your leave? Has he moved on and has a new lover? Hopefully not. You couldn't witness that but you're never gonna meet again so what's the point of hoping. Oh well, let's just wish that a sudden miracle will come out of nowhere and maybe you could meet again? But that's just impossible. Or is it?

It's been 4 years since you left. You weren't as torn as you were before but you still have dreams of Malleus and get quite sad about them yet happy as this is the only way to remember them. It was a casual day, you went to the store to get something to eat, accidentally stumbling across some of your new or old friends by accident as you were on your way home. You did the usual, make some food to eat, wash the dishes, yadda yadda. It was getting rather late, one in the morning to be exact. You closed your phone and went to your room but when you close the door, something started to glow up. The mirror in your room was glowing. Seemed familiar, no? You approached it, thinking that maybe it could be a way back to Twisted Wonderland perhaps? You doubt it but it's still a possibility. If it wasn't and just a different world then whatever, you could probably embark a new journey but you're hoping it's Twisted Wonderland. You took the risk and hop in the mirror, relieved that you weren't just hallucinating and didn't bump into your mirror like an idiot.

You fell face plant onto the floor, the fall was gentle and wasn't high up so it didn't hurt or anything. You got up, looking around, the place didn't seem familiar but the atmosphere of the place is very familiar. Nevertheless, the place is very intimidating and it didn't help that the mirror disappears into this air, meaning that it will take you a long time to get out of here like what happened in Twisted Wonderland or just no escape in general. There were spiky thorns everywhere, the whole area as you walked around feels like some sort of dungeon in an rpg game and you felt like an outcast by the way you dress. You felt like you're screwed, walk anymore further than where you fell and you could die any second. Everyone is eyeing you either because of how you dress or how you look like you're going to burst out crying like a baby koala any moment from now, probably both. You thought all hope is lost and you're gonna have to dig your own grave until..

Malleus Draconia is there. Right in front of you, his back facing you with some bodyguards which you just assume are other former Diasomnia students each at his side. You were hesitant and looked down to your feet, you really want to run into his arms and tell him how sorry you were for leaving without saying anything but will he forgive you for putting into the torment you possibly put him to? Did he met anyone new? Does he hate you for doing this to his heart? Will his bodyguards approve your appearance. Does he even want to see you anymore? These negative kept lingering your mind when you try to take a step closer. You felt like tears started to ran down your cheeks.

"Child of man?"

You looked up from the floor to see the three of them looking at you, Malleus with shock written on his face. "Tsunotaro.." You faintly mutter out your nickname for him. You were too timid to even move and thankfully he approached you. "We will be retreating back to the palace, I want to have a word with this human." The escorts nodded and you followed them back to where you assumed to be Malleus' home. You knew that Malleus is a prince but you didn't expect the castle he lives in to be that big. You presume this is his homeland, Valley of Thorns and my god can this place be even more medieval. You followed him to where you believe, is his bedroom. As soon as he locked the door, silence was deafening the room. It was never awkward when with Malleus until now. You decided to break the silence with an apology.

"Tsunotaro, I'm really sorry for leaving you! The headmaster found a way for me to go back home and I didn't have an alternative! He told me to not tell anyone and..and-" your sobs kept cutting your words and you tried all your best to wipe your tears away. He caught you off guard by wrapping his arms around your figure, rubbing his hand behind your back. "myn lynkyng, all of those sorrow that you made me went through aches my heart but all that is swept away when we finally able to reunite and see your beautiful face once again." he stroked your hair with pale long fingers and gave you one of his lovable sweet smile. "After all this time, I still love you with all my heart. No matter how many years have passed by, your face and everything we have done together still linger in my mind. Now that you're here, you don't mind that if you.. stay here for a little longer?" his smile turned into a rather cheesy grin. "Oh, Tsunotaro. I'll stay here forever if you want." You leaned and kissed his beautiful lips, which he did back immediately. He gently set you to his bed, lovingly caressing your cheek. "That's wonderful to hear."

I really need to work on my angst ╮(╯▽╰)╭

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst writing #twst malleus #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland x reader #x gn reader #gn reader

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writingbeary · 4 years ago

Text

VLIVE with Minyoung

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Wooyoung was scrolling through his phone trying to find something to do when he thought he could just do a short stream to pass time and hopefully catch up with the fans. He went to a free studio in the company setting up for the live. The other members were either stuck in the practice room or at Hongjoong’s studio but he made sure to message them where he is. He was in the middle of telling the events of the day when he heard a knock from the glass door. Looking up, he waved the person signaling them to come.

“Come here and join me. Did you just arrive now?” Wooyoung asked the person behind the camera.

“The shooting took longer than expected. Oh. Are you live right now oppa?” Minyoung’s voice could be heard in the background. The chat started flooding in asking what shooting and if she can join the live.

“Yeah and Atiny wants to see you. Come here for a bit, you need to at least say hi to them."

Popping her head in the frame a bit, she waved smiling. “Hello~ how are you all doing?” Wooyoung patted the chair next to him motioning for her to sit down.

“But this is your solo live oppa-”

“Nonsense. Just sit down and hang out with me and Atiny.” he reached out to her arm and dragged her to the chair.

“Okay. We now have a special guest everyone. Send in your questions for Minyoung! I’ll make sure that she answers them all.” Wooyoung laughed as Minyoung lightly smacked his arm. They both interacted with fans with Wooyoung mostly doing the talking and Minyoung reading through chat.

[you look great our minyoung-ie. did you all have a schedule today?]

Wooyoung read the chat and turned his seat, looking at Minyoung. “You did leave earlier today. Did you go to the hair shop?”

“Ah yeah. I had to shoot something this morning so I did my hair and makeup. You’ll see it in a few weeks. Where’s the others? The group chat has been really quiet since lunch.” Minyoung asked as she looked through the comments on her phone, shooting hearts when she sees mostly positive ones.

“Hongjoong-hyung is in the studio with Jongho. I’m not sure with the others. Oh right! Before you arrived, I was telling Atiny about what happened this morning. Minyoung woke up early today and was sitting in the living room like a statue. She never wakes up that early, you know?” he said laughing, suddenly remembering the scene

“It’s because I have a schedule today that I got up early. Ah! But I probably scared Yunho-oppa when he went to get a water. You should have seen his face! He suddenly backed up trying to ask me something. Maybe why I’m up that early.”

The live continued on with Wooyoung and Minyoung talking about what happened almost forgetting to read through chat.

[TMI for today?]

“TMI..hmm..oh! Jongho and I played Kart Racer yesterday and I lost so I’m treating him to dinner later." Minyoung pouted at the camera making fans coo at her

"Only Jongho? Let me join too."

"Ehh. But you said you didn't want to play when I asked yester-"

"I just want to eat with you two. Besides, you always hang out with Jongho lately whenever you're free."

As soon as he said that, a flood of chat came making Wooyoung laugh out loud pointing them out to Minyoung.

[2young moments!]

[wooyoung is officially vitamin minyoung-deprived lololol]

[minyoungie give the kid some attention too! kekeke]

"See even atiny knows you don't pay me enough attention."

"I got it. I got it. We can go as soon as Jongho is ready. Why do I get the feeling that this will soon turn into a group outing though?" Minyoung laughed taking out her phone and messaging Jongho about the new arrangement.

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for fun. Thank you for understanding.

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner

Truth be told. I thought I already published this but apparently I clicked save as draft hahaha! My dumb self also thought I had to write things in order but then these are scenarios that can stand alone from each other lol I can always just put part 2 for those scenarios that need continuation which also made me hold posting of my drafted posts 🤣 I'll post them one by one and if needed, I'll just include a note if a specific time/era is portrayed before the post.

-Mimi

#kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #ateez 9th member #ateez oc #kpop oc #ateez #atz #park minyoung #minyoung masterlist #writing beary #atz au #ateex au

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ishikawayukis · 3 years ago

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Tbh I dont really know anything about colombian accents but now im curious!! I grew up hearing mexican Spanish frequently, even before I started formally learning it in school, so that's always what's most familiar and easiest to understand for me. That's really funny that so much shade is thrown at Chilean Spanish though LOL but also do you have a video you could link as an example? Quechua got mentioned in every single Spanish class but I don't think they ever showed us Chilean Spanish...maybe on purpose

Yza what are these notes!!! Please share with the class 👀👀 don't just tease me

Awwww yay! Can i ask what your costume was? That's.... bizarre that your body did that but I guess it's good that it worked out?? You've been okay since?

Thank you for saying such nice things :') I didnt really do anything for Halloween since im still pretty anxious about covid but my roommate and I went on a nice hike and painted pumpkins while I tipsily showed her kpop videos (mostly svt) LOL the hike included crossing a creek several times and I definitely slipped and fell in a couple times and my roommate got a picture of one of them 😭

i don't remember who was it, but a dude that learned spanish in colombia and then came here thinking cool i can properly communicate! only to be faced with the sad reality of how we speak LMAO and oh man i'm trying to think of any videos, but the ones that come to my mind are memes and most of them are from people in the, oh man i hate saying it like this, but the lower class and they tend to speak worse too because ~classism~. but the podcast that my brother listens to, tomás va a morir, it's a pretty good example tbh

hey hey yza babe @woozi you're getting a free pass here to clown me LMAO

i was belle from the beauty and the beast LMAO but with the blue dress not the yellow one, i've always wanted to dress up as her and well now i was like why not! so i just, made the dress LMAOO

on a hikeee!!! that's so fun, and paiting pumpkins too! i've never done that since besides dressing up and now kids going trick or treating halloween has never been a huge thing here. also mood about showing friends kpop videos while tipsy have done it more times than i'm proud. and lmaooooo would they be a good friend if they don't take at least one pic of you tripping tbh, you're gonna look at it and remember it fondly hopefully :')

#asks #spanish learning anon

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thevividgreenmoss · 4 years ago

Text

My grandfather was awake and lucid for a longish while between late Friday night and Saturday morning apparently first time since this past Sunday when we all thought that was It and crammed ourselves seven people in one sedan that got a flat on the way over of course (as we were leaving the handle of the screen door came off in my hand as I was closing it behind me so the vibe was very on the nose things farcically falling apart that whole goddamn day lol) but then when we made it he was smiling and laughing and talking to and teasing everyone that was there, albeit with much more effort than it would have taken him even just a week earlier when he was already in a really frail state because of his hip surgery. My sister happened to be up later than she usually ever is and got to video call and chat with him for a bit I wanted terribly for my cousin in Colorado to be able to also but by the time he could get through my grandpa's blood pressure had suddenly spiked or something and he'd drifted back into that borderline unconscious state so they didn't get a chance to talk which makes me want to claw my fucking skin off of my face but who knows maybe another opportunity will present itself hopefully it does like he suddenly became really talkative and energized the other day after not having said more than maybe a couple sentences over the few previous days like I was there with him for several hours on Thursday and the entire time he didn't say a word and only opened his eyes once for like half a second and even that I might have been imagining after sitting there sleep-deprived and holding his hand trying not to cry because then my mom would start crying and then my aunt and on and on and if he's conscious at that point he'll start to get worried and his heart rate will destabilize but after that for this one stretch without anyone expecting it he was really talkative and alert and joking around with the nurses and doctors and all that for a while but then later yesterday afternoon he started to get disoriented and drift in and out of the present in between dreaming and waking again at one point apparently he kept saying 'look at my shoes' to my mom and her sisters and they thought it was just just the medication/pain-induced delirium talking but he kept insisting and eventually said 'you're not taking me seriously' and I guess gave up? Or said it a few more times I'm not clear on the course of events I only heard all this secondhand when my younger aunt, who also got diagnosed with cancer late last year but thankfully is more or less in the clear now, got back home last night and she and I went into his room and took all the shoes out of the cabinet he keeps them in and like looked inside and turned over and examined the soles of every pair, took the cushion insert things out of the ones that had them, checked for scooby doo-esque hidden doors, all that but there was nothing there just shoes. Her kids flew back out yesterday morning, the older one's tentatively returning to Toronto in the next week or so she had a painfully rough time in some ways her first couple of years and then abruptly had to be uprooted and leave because of covid then everything with her mom and in time honored eldest daughter tradition bearing the brunt of the familial frustration and insanity associated with that and now everything with our grandpa I really really want her senior year to go smoothly and be enjoyable and memorable in a manner opposite to how this past year+ has been I'm so worried about her and her little sister's starting freshman year there in the fall and I'm terribly worried about her in a whole different way like she's still really attached to her parents in this innocent way that still strongly resembles like a baby's adoring my mom hung the moon type attachment and it can be especially hard being away for the first time ever when that's the case...like she's hyper hypersensitive even by my family's standards lmao but she does have this sort of self-possession and inner groundedness that no one can quite pin down but it's

definitely there and maybe that

could carry her through I really hope so...they were saying to come up to visit them in the fall hopefully I can find a job soon after returning to Texas and like be able to afford to do that and also like keep paying the bills and shit lol in either case I hope so so badly that they'll be okay like I think they will be the women in my family are all really strong but they've also had to be because of various fucked circumstances and I don't want that to keep having to be the case...my grandpa's a Strong Woman in a certain way also honestly lmao like my mom's aunts have always been like your father raised you in a way beyond even most mothers which like who fucking receives let alone genuinely deserves that kind of praise from their in-laws lmao let alone a man from a notoriously patriarchal culture of a generation when fathers from any culture barely had any involvement in their children's upbringing at all which I mean most still don't but even more so back then and like literally everyone we've been hearing from or seeing drop by at the hospital has a story of how at one point or another my grandpa was there for them when no one else was like distant cousins variously removed and loose family friends all with something about how he comforted me when no one else could, I remember word for word what he said to me when I suffered some loss of my own, he's the strongest man in our family, the best times we ever had were when he was near us, when he'd take us out, his youngest brother's children saying he cared for and spoiled them as if their were his own after their dad died suddenly when they were just kids, my mom's third cousin whose own father was with her till a late age saying that he was even more of a father to me than my own father, his other brother's son who was ostracized for decades by his immediate family on some straight up racist ass bullshit on the part of his mom and older brother because he married a black woman but my grandpa stayed in touch and made sure my mom and uncle did as well and made sure we all got together when he'd came to the states, like even now lying there on what very well might be his literal deathbed when he can barely talk he was telling my uncle he's worried about him and he needs to go home and rest, asking who's taking care of the house, are the kids all okay even at this point his thoughts are for others. After I put his shoes back in the cabinet I closed it and opened the one beside just in case I guess just in case what I don't know but it was just like standard cabinet stuff clothes a shaving kit and a couple of what I assume are photo albums that I didn't feel like I should open for some reason and a few old books, a collection of Ghalib's which I can't really read very easily if at all because it's in Urdu lol, a history of government college of Lahore where his father was teaching at the time of his death and the two philosophy textbooks my great grandfather had written himself, Inductive & Deductive Reasoning, and inside the latter I found a handful of yellowed pages torn out of an old notebook upon which mostly seem to be translations of french poems and I think maybe a song or two? I guess old coursework or just for funsies I'm not sure whether written by my grandfather or his own father. My khala was mentioning just the other day that she'd kept one of my grandpa's old notebooks marked as having been designated for biology but inside it were no actual notes just urdu poetry which she wasn't sure whether it was his own original tossed off work or something the lifelong frustrated creative transcribed while bored in class. The night I got here I was looking through his bookshelves after everyone had gone to bed and then a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the living room by myself watching archer when my cousin came and sat down next to me upset and unable to sleep on her own first night here and I held her and tried not to cry and then went through the same bookshelves again, this time with my cousin who we came to Pakistan for the first time after moving to the US

to see being born who turned three

the day we arrived on what until this current trip was the last time I was here her little sister having just been born earlier that same year (whose life I may or may not have saved when I caught her after she was dropped by the person holding her (the fact that (parentheticals within parentheticals!) I may or may not have been the one who dropped her in the first place is immaterial imo not that I'm the one on trial here but what's important is that I caught her and if anything this would be an even more athletically impressive and frankly heroic incident if I'd been the one that was holding her to begin with since I was 8/9 years old at the time and there wasn't much of a distance for her to fall and yet I kept her from hitting the ground like talk about reflexes like that's what's important and what's more important than even that @ my year older cousin (whose younger sister was the first baby in the family after myself whose arrival in this world when I was three had me positively giddy in the way that young children get when witnessing the miracle of even younger children, who's the only other one of the cousins that's been here during all this, just me and the three I got to see as darling little babies) who was the only other person in the room with me at the time, is that we take this to our fucking graves no one can hear a word of this least of all any adults in the house who like not that they're the ones on trial here either but like who allowed for this scenario to transpire in the first place where two children and an infant are in a room by themselves unsupervised in retrospect that's somewhat irresponsible not that I'd ever hold it against them or even mention it because then they might get mad and not let me hold my little cousin anymore and I do love holding my little baby cousin and carrying her around everywhere, mostly without incident)) neither of whom I'd see in person again until we visited them in Canada the summer after I graduated college the trip during which I finished the last of the Neapolitan novels the day after landing and turned 22 the day after their mother, my younger khala, turned 43, looking through my nana's bookshelves with my baby cousin no longer a baby but a U of T classics major entering her senior year, noting the overlaps with our own, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, George Eliot, the same exact copies of Cheever and Kafka's collected shorts, Umberto Eco, Proust, wondering what the various titles meant to him or what they might say about him, wondering how much of even the version of him that can be hypothesized based off his library I'm missing now that I'm limited to the much reduced version of what had been in his old home in Lahore (when he visited us after my junior year of hs and my mom was trying to convince him to downsize and move in with my other aunt with whom he's been living the past several years, the one who most resembles my grandfather the only one that has his cheekbones my khala whose eyes have sunken all the way into her skull before my eyes with exhaustion and grief over the past two weeks, when my mom was like what's the point of just hanging onto a bunch of books that you've already read: I look at them [dramatic pause], and I feel happy [my mom sighing equally dramatically in.exasperation, me cracking up in the background]) the city I was born in the house where I spent the first almost five years of my life before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd moved back shortly after my mom became pregnant with what turned out to be me, abu nana's house with the garden we'd walk through every morning holding his hand and following along as he puttered around with his plants in the garden in the house in the city he had to leave to move into my khala's house in Islamabad where I've been the past almost a month now where two weeks ago he suddenly came down with pneumonia and had to be dragged to a hospital in Rawalpindi where he's been since, not in his house, my nana's house, with the garden in the city I haven't seen since the last time I was in this country the

summer I

turned nine the day after my khala turned 30 the day before my other khala turned 32(?) the summer I first remember obsessive compulsive disorder becoming an overwhelming aspect of my consciousness although it was there before, the first summer of the Iraq war and being terrified watching the Iraq war unfold on the BBC evening news my nana would turn on

at dinner time and hearing for the first time or maybe just the first time I remember the night we left the phrase 'the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer' from my younger khala talking to her sisters and some family friends that had come over to see us off feeling terrified and cold then embarrassed because she noticed my face visibly fall from across the room and told my mom and I was like godammit everyone knows I'm scared now smhead then crying the entire flight back home because I missed everyone and maybe had a little kid premonition that I wouldn't return to my nana's house and I would be years and years till I saw any of them again some I still haven't or maybe there was nothing premonitory about it but in either case that's the way it turned out. I do feel grateful I got to see him again at all, when he last came to the US late 2016-early 2017 I was sure it would be the last time we would be in the same room. I'd make breakfast for us every morning and we'd eat together and the entire day I'd sit next to him inhaling secondhand smoke and talking and reading. I was in the midst of my initial aborted attempt to read Swann's way when he arrived. I'd gotten to Guermantes way last summer but I couldn't find a secondhand copy so I had to read it via ebook and that didn't feel right so I abandoned it until now I've been reading a copy pulled from his bookshelf. Last he visited was the first time I learned we were both Garcia Marquez-heads which I'd kind of assumed before and I showed him Mad Men which he heavily fucked with and also every John Le Carre adaptation I could track down online. From the first time I read one hundred years of solitude the summer after freshman year of college the passage describing Colonel Aureliano Buendia's death already absolutely and unbearably heartwrenching enough immediately brought thoughts of my grandfather, aching aching sorrow over the solitude that he himself existed within in all the fucking pain his life has been inordinately filled with grief over the knowledge of this inevitable final separation from him after so many years and so much distance already having separated him from the people he loved and cared for and he loved and cared for so many people so deeply with such sincerity and beauty and endless endless warmth and compassion and humor when Gabo wrote of the colonel trying to reach back through to his memories and being unable to after previously recalling that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice even years later, as he faced the firing squad, at the moment of his death like a 'baby chick' my poor frail beautiful grandfather appearing exactly the same way when he'd take off his dentures and curl over to the side to sleep, then when awake but still half asleep hearing your voice having brought his apple cider vinegar and garlic concoction or a cup of tea or just coming by to hold his hand or play with his beard the way all of his grandchildren have at one point or another and smiling with his eyes still closed smiling bright and wide the expression of a precious little cat purring as you scratch under its chin always the most beautiful smile and even as his hair turned white and his body withered and wrinkled and shrunk his cheekbones while still not bad long ago ceased being the way they were in that picture from his wedding day back when he he looked like young Robert De Niro's much much prettier Kashmiri cousin from then until now always that same radiance and those same quick-witted and kind and bright bright bright sparkling eyes. The past month and a half I've been feeling like I'm seeing my own mother dying before my eyes along with her father, my adorable beloved abu nana, I can't even begin to comprehend how she must be feeling right now I feel like I'm witnessing her death in advance through all of this and losing the part of her that is him even though I know that's not actually the case. Things have been so fucking painful and complicated between us but the one thing we've shared that's never

been painful is our love for him. When he left after his last visit four years ago I spent the next two days barely able to even talk. Compliments or like any positive comments directed in my directions have almost always caused me this reflexive discomfort and uneasiness but whenever he or anyone else would say that I'm his favorite grandchild I'd want to hold on to that as closely as i possibly can. I don't want him to leave us and more than that I want for whatever happens to at least happen with him back at home but neither of those things seem likely right now although who the fuck knows. I hope his last thoughts can be of flowers, like Kafka's, and Lispector's, or of love, wherever he is I hope it's not asking too much to hope for that at least. For someone that spent his life so deeply immersed within that Garciamarquesian solitude he never made those around him feel any way other than at home, safe and warm and loved and adored and adorable and lovable and at home not because of a place not even the garden at the house in Lahore but with him always always I've never felt more at home than during the times I spent near him, and his love and his flowers

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ais-n · 4 years ago

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hi!!! firstly i just want to say i LOVE ICOS with my whole being. i read it for the first time in high school abt 5 years ago and read it again over quarantine last summer and it drew me in and wrapped me up wholly, i couldn’t put it down. i love the story and characters so much.

i also love writing very much and have always written small stories, fan fiction etc., the past couple weeks i’ve felt inspired to write fiction of my own, a novel of sorts with my own original plot and characters, and i wanted to ask you for some advice/ words of wisdom.

how did you plan out the characters you wrote? or did you more just let them write themselves? and did you plan out chapter by chapter how the plot would unfold before writing, or again let it happen as you wrote it? i’ve found it easier for me personally to let things happen as i write, and that the characters do things and say things i never planned for, was wondering if you felt the same or if you were more organized lol.

also what platform did you use to write on?

sorry for the long post, i hope you’re doing well.

Aww thank you, that's so sweet! I'm glad you like it :)

Side note, before I forget to mention - I just made a subreddit for my writing/stuff which will include ICoS things... I'll be adding more info on there this weekend hopefully, and I'm sure I'll do another post over here too but the link if you want it is https://www.reddit.com/r/aisylum/ It may be a place to find some other stuff in the future if you think of anything. I was thinking of doing an AMA or Q&A type thing over there too. Obviously, always feel free to ask here too <3 I love either place. Just wanted to mention while I'm thinking of it :)

I'm so happy you've been inspired to write - good luck and great job! I think that sounds absolutely awesome and I bet your story will be fantastic :)

We kind of did a bit of a hybrid.... I really wish I had the original bulletpoint list for what the book was originally going to be, but "Sonny" and I had opposite ways of looking at things. "He" would delete things as we went, and I would squirrel it all away until later lol So "he" deleted a bunch of bulletpoints/early info as we went because neither of us actually expected anything to come of any of it, so I also wasn't super anal about keeping track of things way early on. I might still have some documents buried somewhere with info but offhand I don't know where.

Anyway so I kind of am more like you in the way you write, but I will sometimes make the effort to try to plan a bit, especially if there's a cowriter. For ICoS for example, we had a rough outline planned of what was going to be the story, we started writing, we let the characters/plot/etc go where it needed to go, that meant things we hadn't planned from the start came in. The original story was basically mostly Evenfall, then skip Afterimage and Interludes for the most part but not entirely, and then we didn't really have a hugely detailed end initially from what I recall but we knew generally what was going to happen, so some of the stuff from later Fade would probably have been in the bullets. But when we got to the end of Evenfall, whatever was our next bulletpoint just did not feel right; we knew all the other stuff that starts Afterimage would happen instead.

For my long ongoing LGBTQ+ fantasy series I'm working on, the first book is finished but I'm editing it to change/add some significant stuff. I have a whole bunch of info on that which I've compiled over the years, so to an extent I have a general idea of plot things that will go down in the rewrite and also in the future into the other books, but a lot of details and even bigger points are left untouched. I prefer to let the characters/story/world/plot go where it wants to go, and I just have general points that I know make sense or have to happen eventually, and I look for how to fit them in as organically as possible to the way the story is going. If that makes sense. I will occasionally try to really work out exact storyline bullets but I get so bored so quickly that I never finish.

Because I like world-building and character development, I actually find it more fun and more useful for my organizational skills (any that exist, anyway, lol) to be aimed more toward that. Rather than focusing on the story and what the plot will be and what character will say what in which chapter, I prefer to dig into the past of the characters, dig into the world, the magic system or whatever is relevant, and have that info all squirreled away somewhere if needed. That way, as I'm going forward with writing the characters/story more organically, if things are going around what I initially thought the plot would be, this gives me something to then pull from for inspiration on how to incorporate this new plot/etc into the world more seamlessly, and make it feel more at home. And if you have all that info on characters, it also makes it easier to throw in things that flesh the character out more, and that can all lead toward character development in the future.

Boyd, for example - when we first had the valentine thing come up, it was just going to be a thing that happened that showed their miscommunication and how fucked the Agency was. But then it didn't make sense to me for it to just be a thing mentioned once and never again. So then that added to Boyd's story; now he was a valentine, so if it made sense or it was relevant, that was a thing that could or should come up. As the story progressed and the world grew, and with that the Agency and other factors were more fleshed out, it became more and more relevant. Then, by the time Fade came around, it was fully integrated into Boyd's story because by that point it would be weirder if it weren't - and because it made total sense in the characters' perspectives and the different organizations' perspectives and the story as a whole for the things to happen the way they did. But all of that, of course, then informs Boyd's mental health, physical health, and overall stability. Which then affects how he interacts with the world and other characters, which then affects the plot to an extent because of the choices he would make that may be different now, in the context of these life experiences, compared to prior to those life experiences. If the valentine thing never happened in Evenfall, a lot of Fade would be different. When we had that coming up in Evenfall, we didn't know another book was coming at all, let alone 3, let alone that it would end up having such a significant impact on the story and character development. But that's just kind of an example of building on things as you go, which is what I tend to do, personally.

As for the program - in the beginning we just used Word I think, and talked on AIM or something. It's been so long I don't totally remember. But for most of it we used Google Docs because that made it easy to share and write/edit at the same time.

Also, haha never be sorry for long posts - as you can see, I will almost always go longer ^_~

Hope you're doing well too! Thanks for your interest :)

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #icosbooks

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kuiinncedes · 4 years ago

Text

and you knew what it was

author’s note: i don’t know what the fuck this is i was bored at the beginning of my break lol and i wrote some stuff based on a prompt list and a random number generator that gave me “here, drink this. you’ll feel better” and it kinda like ,, grew ,, into a lot

i’ve been sitting on this first part pretty much completed for a while and i think i want to just post it and i have two other “parts” that are sorta connected and idk yeah lmao they’re in progress rn and hopefully i can finish them soon if i post this one i just feel kinda stuck rn :P anyway idk lol i like this part tho hopefully i don’t change anything massively in the other two that would have to change something here XD

basically 1539 words of shadowhunter!quinntina hurt/comfort (or an attempt at it) maybe like sort of warning for mention of death and injury tbh am i trying too hard to be a ya fantasy writer lmao

title from “you are in love” by taylor swift <3

as always lmk if anyone wants any shadowhunter things to be explained lol :P

***

“Here, drink this,” Tina says, voice shaky and quiet, unsure. “You’ll feel better.” She helps Quinn sit up a little and slowly drink the whole glass of… something.

Quinn wrinkles her nose at the aftertaste coating her tongue and throat. “What was that?” Her shoulders are propped up against her pillow, and she awkwardly tries to situate herself somewhat upright.

Tina shrugs, setting the cup aside. “Something Mike whipped up. Said it should help your strength and energy a little?” She crosses her arms, lightly gripping the fabric of her shirt at her sides—hugging herself.

“Mike needs to add some sugar or something,” Quinn tries in a joking tone. Tina smiles slightly but won’t really make eye contact with her.

The room falls silent and Quinn watches Tina, recognizes the expression on her face, her defeated posture, her smaller, quiet demeanor. Her outfit—a lot darker than what she’s often in these days, when she’s not in black gear.

And Quinn remembers a few months ago, when Mercedes had her own complicated encounter with demon poison. She remembers how Tina cares, how she loves, how beautifully, how much.

“Hey,” she says softly, and Tina finally looks up to meet her eyes. “Mike and the Silent Brothers said I stand a good chance for full recovery, right? So no tears,” Quinn urges gently.

Tina huffs a light laugh and wipes under her eyes. “No promises,” she says hoarsely. Quinn wiggles her fingers and Tina releases the hand clutching tightly at her side and obligingly takes Quinn’s, who squeezes reassuringly.

Tina keeps sniffling though, and it seems to be getting louder. She covers her mouth with her free hand when Quinn looks over and says quickly, “I’m sorry, I know, sorry, it’s Kurt’s turn to see you anyway, I should go—” and starts to untangle their fingers but Quinn holds fast, squeezing again and she looks into Tina’s tear-filled eyes.

“Come here,” Quinn says quietly.

“What?”

“Help me lay down, then get in bed with me.”

Tina pauses. “Are you—I don’t know if—”

Quinn smirks a little, starting to push herself back into a horizontal position. “I’m the one who’s injured, and I’m cold and I need my girlfriend close to steal her warmth, okay?”

Tina swallows and nods a little, replies barely above a whisper, “Okay.”

Once Quinn is lying down comfortably, Tina climbs under the blanket, facing her. Quinn tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear, wiping some of Tina’s still-coming tears as she retracts her hand.

Tina holds her wrist, lightly, almost only with the tips of her fingers, and presses a soft kiss to her palm. She lets out a slight chuckle. “Shouldn’t I be the one taking care of you?”

Her tone is lighthearted but bitter and Quinn brushes her fingers through Tina’s hair. Her eyelids flutter, half closed, and she releases a small, comforted breath.

“You’ve definitely already done a fair amount of taking care of me. And I’m fine,” Quinn assures, and she really is fine, aside from the fact that she just missed a few days being knocked out from the worst kind of demon poison and she’s still feeling the effects of that, probably will be for a while, but that’s getting out of her system now, and with its complete departure her strength (and ability to move without pain) should also return, if Silent Brother healing magic and knowledge is to be trusted. “On the other hand, you look like you haven’t slept in days.” And knowing Tina, it’s all too possible that she hasn’t.

Tina shrugs a little. “Maybe.”

“Do I need to call Kurt in here to tell me?”

“Fine,” Tina grumbles halfheartedly. “I haven’t.”

But do you blame me? is her unasked—and unanswered—question.

(Quinn doesn’t.)

Quinn tilts her chin forward a little to kiss Tina’s nose gently. “Go to sleep,” she says.

“Here? I shouldn’t—Kurt wants to see you,” Tina starts and Quinn shushes her again.

“Yes, here. Kurt will live without it, he knows I’m okay.” And Quinn knows Kurt is okay, and presumably will understand Tina staying for longer if he’s been around her the past few days.

She just hopes—knows, really—that Kurt has helped Tina, that they help each other. They’ve always been close on account of being the two who could always be found awake in the latest hours of night, talking to each other and recently, working on designs and drawings together.

But it’s still different right now, for these past few days, and Quinn thinks that if either of them slept at all, it wasn’t much. Especially Tina. Kurt had the parabatai bond’s assurance while Quinn’s been out. Tina had Kurt’s assurance, but it still couldn’t have been as good as knowing it herself. And at night, Kurt had the bond as an extra layer of assurance when he went to sleep, but Tina didn’t, and Quinn knows how Tina’s worry keeps her up sometimes, and how she sometimes chooses energy runes instead when she knows something is weighing on her mind too much for her to sleep.

“You need sleep, love,” Quinn whispers, and she feels the resistance fade from Tina’s body. She pulls her closer, tucking Tina’s head under her chin.

“I missed you,” Tina says with a small gasp, voice cracking a little in desperation. “I’m so sorry.” Quinn can feel her tears on her collarbone and she hates it—hates that she’s the reason Tina’s crying and she can’t do anything about it because she was unconscious and on the verge of death for three days and then the Silent Brothers kept people away for a few more and Tina didn’t know how she was for a week, and Quinn really just woke up again and she’s mostly fine and she feels fine but Tina hasn’t slept for days and Quinn understands.

“It’s not your fault. And I won’t ever leave you,” Quinn promises.

“You can’t say that for sure.”

“Shh,” Quinn breathes, thinking about both statements. Tina’s right, she can’t say it for sure, and she knows that. With their life and what they do every day, it’s the most unsure thing in the world. Even just a week ago, she could’ve died if the demon’s stinger had gone in a little higher, she could’ve died if there were any more of them left, she could’ve died if Tina wasn’t there. Tina could’ve died if Quinn wasn’t there. (Would have, a voice in the back of her head creeps in, less than a breath, and she suppresses the shiver that it brings.)

But if Quinn has any control over it at all, it will be true. She tells Tina as much. “I won’t leave you,” she says again, quietly but as vehemently as she can, and Tina relaxes a tiny bit in her arms.

And then for the other thing. “And there’s no way it’s your fault, okay?”

“If I wasn’t so fucking careless, you would be fine—”

“You didn’t push me into a demon’s stinger, did you?” Quinn continues to run her fingers through Tina’s hair. “You didn’t take its poison and inject it into my body. And you were killing the other ones. We could both be dead if you weren’t, okay?” Her tone is more blunt than probably necessary and she brushes Tina’s temple slightly in apology.

Tina burrows her face deeper and Quinn knows she’s winning, if only because Tina’s tired. But she needs her to know…. “It would never be your fault,” Quinn whispers. “Ever. Tell me you know that.”

After a second, Tina nods. “Yeah,” she says in a small voice. “Okay.”

Quinn can tell Tina isn’t completely convinced, but it’s a conversation for another time, another day when Tina isn’t running on a ridiculously small amount of sleep and probably an unhealthy number of energy runes, and only just coming down from the emotional rollercoaster of the past week.

Quinn presses a kiss to the top of Tina’s head. “Go to sleep, love,” she says again.

“Wake me up if I hurt you,” Tina breathes, on the cusp of sleep.

Quinn smiles, runs her hand up and down Tina’s arm. “You won’t,” she promises, voice hushed.

It’s a testament to just how exhausted Tina must be that her breathing evens out within a few seconds, and her body is still and loose from exhaustion, mind finally quieted, for now, close to Quinn and reassured, and Quinn continues to rub her girlfriend’s arm gently and thinks.

She thinks about the word she just used—twice, and for the first time. Not the first time in her head, but the first time out loud. But unlike countless other times when she’s questioned her decisions and even after so many that have hurt her, so many choices that have led her astray—led her heart astray… she knows it’s right this time. Now, here, in her room, in the Institute that changed her life for the better, her family within the building’s glamoured walls, next to the one person she would always want to be next to, she doesn’t need to question it. And she closes her eyes and follows Tina into a hopefully peaceful sleep.

#no one: me: writing the same shit in the shadowhunter au #lsdkhglksfj like this is just the same as my klaine one but a little different with elements from another quinntina one and just lk;j;kgjsal #original ideas we don't know her #hhhhh idk how i feel about the end but oh well #it;s so random :') fuck lmao stop complaining about ur own writing that ur posting XD #lmao me writing over my break: RUN ON SENTENCES GALORE #this and my jatp fic that i posted a little bit ago lol anyway #ummmm is that it (no it's not but i can't think of anything else i wanted to say lol)#quinntina #glee #glee fic #my ficsssss #how do i tag this shit #it's been a while lmao #me: feeling like shit bc i feel like everyone hates me bc i can't just text my friends without feeling like i'm being annoying #me: POST A FIC FOR VALIDATION #also me: posts shadowhunter quinntina shit catering to an audience of: me #anyway #yk what lemme ramble for a sec bc i don't want to make a post about it #i want to ask my friends if they wanna plan something but like it's always been me texting them about stuff lately #which is DUMB that i feel weird about that but that's always the thing like #i always feel like i'm absolutely no one's like 'favorite' person and like everyone has people they'd go to before me :DDDDDDD #which isn't like just me but still i just this combined with idk today just my brain being dumb and being really self deprecating and dumb #i feel like i'm not actually close to anyone and i don't think i ammmmm #anyway no one asked for this in the tags of a fic post lmaooo

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tsukishumai · 4 years ago

Note

(feel free to keep this to yourself or delete or whatever ik it's long so if you don't want it to take space on ur blog I get it!!! ❤️❤️❤️)

Ok im the anon from last night and im gonna try to fit my somewhat clear (still mostly jumble) thoughts into one ask! Maybe 2 if i absolutely cannot fit but anyways i went to bed last night thinking “damn idk who i want reader to be with” but uh based on the tiny notes i took when i reread it there is a clear favorite O.O

Anyways im not sure if Bo just doesn’t know that he likes reader or what??? Why is he LITERALLY BRINGING ANOTHER GIRL HOME to presumably sleep with and then act all >:( when reader leaves w kuroo??? Absolutely not !

Also im sorry but the “shes like my sister!” comment absolutely killed me, i remember when that happened to me and i made a BEELINE for the bathroom right afterwards to cry about it lol but speaking of crying!!! Idk how reader kept it together when she was helping Bokuto dress up because seeing someone i like put so much effort into a date with another person would have destroyed me….and then when he spun around and was li e “how do i look?” ABSOLUTELY NOT it would have been OVER for EVERYONE.

AND ALSO the whole assigning colors to people part is so lovely and jehfbrwuifekj im a huge color/number person when it comes to emotions and people because I feel like everyone has their own unique color for them? Sometimes numbers but for me it’s only when i really know the person but anyways this is as much as i can say without going over the limit so in conclusion, i LOVE your series and i’m so excited for future updates and you seem like a really cool person so i’ll hopefully be back in your ask box soon!! Kissies and hugs kjednfkwjef pls have a spooky october!!!

🧡💚🧡💚

Love Galore

i'm not gonna lie i've been keeping this in my inbox FOR DAYSSS BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T STOP RE-READING IT AND I W ANNA KEEP IT FOREVER T-T but i don't want you to think i ignored this sweet message BECAUSE FUCK!

it honestly still BLOWS my mind whenever i get asks like this, because honestly it makes my heart fucking SIIINGGGGG hearing your thoughts about Love Galore!! AND YOU TOOK NOTES I'M ACTUALLY CRYING LMAO I LITERALLY LOVE YOU fsadas but anyway i just have to know, who are you rooting for? lol

HONESTLY Bo is just as confused like he's kinda self-centered you know! not in a bad way, like he's nice and caring to his friends but ultimately everything he does everything for his OWN self interest, and someitmes when ur so tunnel-visioned like that, it's difficult to understand the feelings of those around u!!! cause in a way he only cares about his own? it's kinda contradictory LOL

AND BESTIE IM SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOUFFSDA being sister-zoned is absolutely not a curse i would wish upon my worst enemies smh and i have NOOO idea how y/n did i could fucking NEVERRR i'd just tell him like 'go watch a youtube video or something' like SHE DONE HELPED SHIP HER MAN OFF!! UR CRAZY!! but at least she got to spend time with kuroo lmao

im so happy u like that part bc i feel the same way i love associate people with colors ij ust feel like color plays such a big part in our life and i love assigning colors hahah but anywayyyy

THANK YOU SO MUCH from the absolute bottom of my heart for reading and letting me know your thoughts on Love Galore it honestly means a lot to me and i hope i see you in my inbox more ofteenn!!

#anon!#love galore

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olivieblake · 4 years ago

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i watched your video today and then went on twitter and immediately saw a viral tweet of a teenager teling a 23 year old she was prehistoric and to get off instagram and get a job (she was mad that she wouldn’t give up her insta name ahaha) and the comments actually were full of people saying they can’t believe she’d argue with a child lol. i laughed a little cause it was extremely timely but it made me glad you shared these thoughts and hopefully if we all continue doing our thing we can keep pushing forward the idea of what womanhood looks like. something you said though about how we even very recently really weren’t even able do do anything besides marriage and motherhood made me think of a conversation i had with my sister the other day which started as me saying i don’t get when adults make their kids use prefixes when saying my name as a sign of respect (seriously i’m supposed to let them call me a dinosaur and say oh how sweet but if they don’t refer to me as miss thats disrespectful? make it make sense! i’m rambling 😭) anyway so i was saying there are so many titles for woman it’s confusing, men only have to use mr. so it’s hit me now that a woman’s age and martial status was so important that society had to create a way to be able to sort you by those markers. like when i was in grade 2 , so i was 6 turning 7 after a few months my teacher was a ms. and i remember thinking how embarrassing that would be cause it would mean you were old and not married. how horrible of me to think that! no wonder it’s so hard for people to view woman and as more than wives and mothers though like i have no idea where i would have gotten that thought about embarrassment from but clearly this way of valuing ourselves as woman starts so early. so ya thanks for chatting about these things with us 💖 also none of this was what i came here to say i got distracted what i wanted to say was i watched today’s video and your hair looked so beautiful and shiny and was curled so nicely and your star background is a thing of dreams truly just delightful

oh my goddddd that twitter scenario. when my sister turned 23 she said “I’m old now” and I was like that’s objectively absurd and also your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25 and she was like “okay :/” and like, WHY do we do this to ourselves?? a mystery. at 23 I had moved in with mr blake and my extremely catholic mother (who I was terrified would be furious about all the implied pre-marital sex) just said “oh, thank god someone is taking care of you,” because at 23 you are a Mess who is still mostly a Hapless Child and everyone knows this to be fact

anyway

hahaha prefixes oh god, good point. isn’t it horrific to think how early it starts??? it’s amazing how quickly we can teach girls to both feel and impart shame about other women. mildly related, I have this private joke in My Mechanical Romance where a female teacher, ms. voss, is referred to by the teen MC as being “like, forty,” which will not be funny until someone who looks like me plays her in the netflix adaptation (in my head ms. voss is in her late twenties or something). anyway now *I* am rambling but on that note, mr blake asked his middle schoolers to imagine where they’ll be in twenty years and they all submitted pictures of very old people, and he was like okay no in twenty years you’ll be about my age, I am not in a walker and do not have an oxygen tank but thank you guys for your Opinions. I’m totally off topic again but the point is you make a valid point

I know I already said it, but it really has not been very long that women have had the freedoms that they do!! seeing women who are in their thirties and publicly enjoying their hobbies is not something we have a lot of examples for because it was either not an option or we did not have the means to see them do it. I think it matters what we do with that awareness, especially when it comes to observing and self-correcting our biases and noticing how we view other women. it’s okay to notice that we have those biases as long as we self-investigate as to why, and then make sure we don’t unintentionally contribute to a culture or create an atmosphere that makes that kind of stigma okay

also, I actually DID DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH MY HAIR so thank you! my hair has a different texture now and is a lot straighter than it usually is, so I curled it very quickly with a large barrel and brushed it out, and then to avoid flyaways I rubbed a teensy amount of jojoba oil in my palms and smoothed it over my ends. so hooray! I’m glad it looked shiny, a rare day of looking human for me, thank you very much I love you

#olivie blake is not writing #my mechanical romance #antisocial-kk

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itzagothamcitysiren · 5 years ago

Text

Welcome to the Family

So yesterday was Tim’s birthday and I had planned out a fic for it BUT I’ve been working a lot and just hadn’t had the time to sit down and write it out. I had kinda forgotten about it and when yesterday came around I was annoyed BUT I was given this idea after going out for the day with my niece.

We had drove by a Red Robin after eating somewhere else and I was mad salty, cause yesterday would’ve been the perfect time to go. Then for dinner we ordered take out and I kind you not, our delivery driver was named Timothy. Like what the hell? lol, I was dude I need to write something now.

So today after work I sat down and wrote this. It’ll be three parts, taking place after my mother’s day story. I’ll post up part one and two tonight, and once I finish three I’ll post it tomorrow hopefully :)

Tell ‘Em That It’s My Birthday pt. 1

“What day is it?!”

Halley’s voice seemed to shriek through the room, causing her now startled teammate, Kori Anders, to jerk her head up from her laptop. The girl’s off guard silence caused Halley to go bug eyed, repeating herself but more frantically. “The day! What day is it?”

The alien princess stared up at the wide eyed brunette unsure as to why the younger girl was so frantic suddenly. The coffee mug she held paused as it touched her lips and now was being held still. Cocking an eyebrow up, Kori gave her a soft and hesitant response,

“Monday?”

“Yes, I know its Monday. The date, I mean the date!” Halley shouted back, using one hand to run it through her hair as the other reached for her phone that she had tossed across the couch only seconds ago.

It was only minutes ago that the device was being held in her hands. She had been ordering herself and her team dinner from their favorite Thai place via Door Dash, it being her turn as Kori treated them to an array of Sushi the a few nights ago. She had found herself chuckling at the realization of the name of their Dasher. His name was Timothy and she couldn’t help but think back to yesterday when she and Kori were out on one of their many shopping trips. They had drove past a Red Robin and she had joked about how if they hadn’t already eaten lunch that they should’ve gone there and taken a picture outside the sign and send it to her Tim.

Why hadn’t it clicked then, she cursed to herself once her phone was in her hands. She let out the loudest groan she felt like she ever had when the date haunted her vision. It was July 20th; fucking July fucking 20th, she cursed to herself again, furiously rubbing her face with her hands as the phone dropped back down onto the couch. She was literally the worst sister in the entire universe.

She had been so consumed with her own life that she had completely spaced that Tim’s birthday was yesterday. She’d never done so before. She had never forgotten a birthday or any day of importance; she’d always made sure to leave herself reminders and be on top of stuff like that. Of course there were times where she would let certain things sneak up on her but she usually had a pretty solid excuse for days like those. But now that she was officially graduated from college she had no other big obligations to keep her truly and utterly distracted.

Sure, she was offered a job at the Gazette, but she didn’t have to start until the fall when they had a spot for her open. One of their tenor reporters was moving to Metropolis around then and Halley was more than okay with being able to take the summer off until then. Kori had asked for her help with getting the new Tower back up and running so it was ready for their new team of recruits.

The team of Titans she knew were mostly disbanded, having gone off to do their own things or another, a new team, a team Tim was a part of, taking over their Tower. Now Dick was in Bludhaven, Hank and Dawn giving up the hero life, Victor now joining the Justice League and Wally and Roy off somewhere no one really knew. Kori had reached out to Halley, asking her to help train her new recruits; Halley agreed and had been here for the last two and a half months.

But this was Tim. How could she just up and forget his birthday?

“Fuck, fuck, I need to call Tim,” She let her hands drop and grabbed her phone once more.

Going to her favorites, she clicked on the second name, dialing his number within seconds. She tapped her fingers against her thigh nervously waiting for the other line to be picked up. Her heart dropped when it had only been brought to voicemail. She didn’t wait to leave a message, hanging up and calling again. The phone brought her straight to voicemail.

He was ignoring her, she gulped.

She held the bridge of her nose, pinching it as she listened through his voicemail, waiting for the beep before opening her mouth to speak. When the beep rang she found herself unsure of what to say. She couldn’t just wish him happy birthday a day late through a voicemail. Biting the inside of her cheek she quickly composed herself, saying, “Hee-hey Tim. Uh it’s me, Halley er-. Look, can you call me? Please? Okay, love you, bye-,” Stupid, she hissed to herself as she hung up.

“Well that was almost as hard to listen to as Garfield when he flirts.” Kori chuckled, watching the girl hang up the phone and let her head drop into her hands.

“Shut up.” Halley spat but was muffled by her hands. She took her head out of her hands, leaning back into the couch and looking up at the ceiling.

Maybe he wasn’t actually in Gotham. Maybe he was with his own team of Titans. Yeah, maybe he was. And maybe he was on a mission and that’s why he couldn’t answer the phone. No, she frowned. She knew that he was in Gotham. Steph had sent her a snap a few days ago of the two of them out at Bat Burger. Wait, she though, bringing the phone back up to her ear. She dialed the blonde’s number but was met the same fate as with Tim’s.

“Ugh they hate me!” She cried out, finally meeting Kori’s eye. “I forgot about Tim’s birthday, Kori. He’s hates me now.”

“Tim would never hate you.” Kori rolled her eyes, waving the girl off and turning back to her laptop and work. “He looks up to you. He’ll understand that it just slipped your mind.”

“Yea but it shouldn’t have slipped my mind. And he’s clearly mad since he’s ignoring me!” Halley yelled, standing up. “Let Gar or Jaime have my plate; I need to catch a flight to Gotham.”

“Halley, wait a bit for him to call you back, don’t just jump on a plane.” Kori squinted at her, noting how similar to Dick she had gotten over the years. He had done the exact thing to her once, way back when she hadn’t answered her phone.

“No, you don’t get it, Kor, we always remember and I can’t believe I forgot.” She frowned, grabbing her phone and heading out of the common room as quickly as she could.

She was so mad at herself. She knew that Tim wasn’t one to just ignore people and send them right to voicemail. She knew he was mad and she was worried that if she waited for him to call her back it would take a couple of days. Halley wouldn’t wait that long, already trying to think of an apology as she looked up flights on her phone as she power walked to her room.

As her head was buried in her phone she found herself walking into a hard chest, instantly looking up with narrowed eyes. In front of her stood one of the last members to join the Titans before the newest kids and Halley showed up. The firm chest of the Atlantean sidekick stared her straight in the face as she slowly craned her head up to make eye contact with his purple eyes.

“Hey Garth, sorry” she said offhandedly, side stepping and moving to walk around him. She frowned when she felt his hand reach out and grip her upper arm, making her stop. “Come on, I gotta go. I have to go to Gotham; it’s an emergency.”

The Atlantean frowned his playful smirk now showing concern as he let go of his grip. He began to follow her to her room, walking a few steps behind. “Is everything okay? Do you need me to go with you?”

“I don’t think the Batclan will want an Atlantean in Gotham. No offense,” She smirked at him, looking him up and down. She pressed down the hall further, “But no, it’s not that kind of emergency. I’m an asshole and forgot Tim’s birthday.”

“You are an asshole.” He teased, stopping behind her when they reached her door. He laughed, raising his hands up in surrender and protection when she turned around to smack him. “Hey, I’m not the one who eats their boyfriend’s kind.”

“I said I was sorry about that!” Halley snapped, giving him a playful push before opening her door. She didn’t bother to close it, knowing he’d just follow her in anyway. “I told you I would be more mindful; I ordered Thai food tonight, no fish.” She pointed out, laughing at the incident that happened when Kori bought them all home sushi a few nights ago. The Aqualad was less than thrilled about her choice and even less than thrilled when Halley openly dug into roll after roll in front of him. “Also, you aren’t my boyfriend last time I checked.”

He watched her as she moved to her closet, pulling out a Superman backpack and throwing random articles of clothing into it. His face flashed from frisky to almost jealous, her words throwing him off as he had already assumed they were a thing. They’d met years ago when they were teenagers and Garth would be lying if he said he hadn’t gotten a crush on her back then. But he had only been with the Titans for one mission back then and quickly went back to Atlantis. When he was offered a full time spot on their roster he was excited when he found out Halley would be joining them for a few months.

It took some time but the pair hit it off, Halley at first reluctantly agreeing to go on a date with him but eventually growing to like the Atlantean. She had only just started dating a few months prior and it was all so new to her but it was somewhat comfortable with Garth. She wouldn’t say that she was falling in love, she was far from it. But she did feel something towards him unlike other’s she dated; she wasn’t bored. It wasn’t as awkward as it was with civilians who knew nothing about her nightlife and it was nice to talk to someone outside of the family who had shared life experiences. She also found herself not constantly comparing everything about him to Jason or holding him to the unreasonably high standards she had to match him.

“Well I haven’t gotten around to asking you yet.” He shrugged but kept a firm face, wanting to show that he was seriously thinking about asking her.

“Oh,” Halley said, placing the last thing she needed in her bag. She zipped it up, trying to shove away her sudden nervousness. She hadn’t thought about getting that committed to someone yet. But as she bit her lip, she looked up at him unable to stop herself from speaking. Giving him a sly look, she spoke “Well, when I get back maybe you can get around to it if you want.”

“I’ll have to make a note of it,” Garth smirked at her, crossing his arms against his chest. “For now let me at least bring you to the airport,” He offered, his eyes followed her as she walked around him and grabbed her phone charger of the plug in the wall and a book from her nightstand.

“Do mermaids know how to drive?” She teased him before heading out the door.

“Wow, you really are an asshole.” He teased right back as he followed her back into the hallway, leading the way down to the garage.

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