#these last few months alone I've had so much help
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mandalhoerian · 7 hours ago
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forced proximity | baking | wild west au ❅ Leon Secret Santa ( @leonsecretsanta ) ❅ gift for @bonesnplywood !!
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summary: When a wagon mishap in the middle of a snowstorm leaves the new sheriff Leon Kennedy stranded at the local bakery, he’s reluctantly pulled into a lighthearted afternoon of decorating gingerbread cookies with the town’s spirited baker, you.
word count: close to 5K, read on ao3
note: AMBER ITS ME!! YOUR SECRET SANTA!!! THE WORST PERSON THESE TROPES COULD POSSIBLY FALL INTO THE LAP OF!!!! I've never in my life joined an event like this or written about christmas (jingle halal everyone), and i was doomed from the start because wild west is something i know absolutely nothing about 😞 so i had to make insane research on the topic for this, and i mean, "insane" research <2 me>, because i've had to look up things such as sugar, icing (did it exist? what about hot chocolate. plot twist, IT DOES), what they baked, how non-commercialized christmas was like back then, and overall about frontier towns, and i swear i was on the verge of tears about to drop out THIS 👌 CLOSE 😭😭😭 I hope I was at least able to catch the vibes and it's enjoyable, please excuse any mistakes or weird stuff overall that doesn't fit, i tried.... merry christmas!
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Christmas around these parts was a quiet affair, mostly celebrated by children and the devout few who filled the pews of the old church on the hill. There were no garlands or ribbons strung up, no carolers wandering door to door. Folks didn’t have the time or money for all that fuss.
Instead, Christmas was something simpler. Something humbler. A rare pie cooling on a windowsill, the smell of woodsmoke mingling with fresh bread if a family could spare the flour and sugar, stockings, little more than patched-up socks, hung over fireplaces with faint hope... Sometimes, if the weather allowed, neighbors gathered for a pot of stew or shared biscuits, squeezing together at too-small tables and swapping stories to warm the room better than the fire ever could.
And yet, you, neither a dutiful churchgoer nor a small child any longer, cared more about this holiday than most. Actually, scratch that. “Cared” didn’t begin to cover it.
You lived for Christmas.
Always had. Ever since you were small, the holidays had lit something in you. All of them mattered, but Christmas? That was special. It wasn’t just the crisp air or the smell of pine needles in the bakery where you grew up. It was the whole season, the way December turned the world into something softer, kinder. Your father had seen to that.
Every year, he’d throw open the bakery doors to the orphanage down the lane, baking for the children who had no family to celebrate with. The evenings were loud with laughter, warm with the smell of bread and cakes, and rich with your father’s tall tales spun at the dinner table. He’d send those kids home with free loaves to last them through the winter, and no matter how much the townspeople complained about the expense, they’d show up to help--eventually. Even the grumps couldn’t resist the sight of those kids, faces bright with joy, or the way the bakery felt like the heart of the town in those fleeting weeks.
Of course, none of that magic happened on its own. The ingredients alone were a fortune, especially now, and it had taken some creative wheeling and dealing to keep things running smoothly. Mayor Irons had been easy enough to bribe, an extra haul of your famous sweets for his office, a special stash of sugar sticks just for him. The old sleazeball had learned long ago not to ask questions, especially when the end-of-month "bonus" arrived. It was a necessary evil, one you barely had to think about anymore.
This year, though, was different. The snowstorm had rolled in fast, blanketing the town in thick, sparkling drifts that clung to rooftops and piled high in the streets. It was beautiful in the way all fresh snow is, softening the edges of a hard world. But this wasn’t the gentle, picturesque snowfall from a child's drawing. This storm had teeth. Roads were already impassable, and while the bakery’s ovens burned bright and warm, you couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if the storm kept on. Business had slowed to a crawl, but you weren’t about to close the shop, not with so much left to do before the Christmas festival. The Mayor needed his payment. 
Your gaze drifted to the empty shelf behind the counter where sacks of flour and sugar were meant to sit. Supplies that should have arrived hours ago. Supplies you needed for the dozens of gingerbread cookies and other desserts.
Your father had thrown in the towel hours back, muttering that it was pointless to keep the place open when there was nothing left to sell. You, stubborn as always, refused to leave. The wagon train will come, you’d insisted. You weren’t about to trek home in this snowstorm, anyway, and someone needed to mind the fire. But as the wind howled against the windows and the blizzard thickened to a near whiteout, you were beginning to think your father might’ve had a point.
Then, the bell above the door jingled.
You jolted, spinning around.
"Finally," you muttered, brushing flour-dusted hands on your apron as you turned. "Come on in! You're lettin—"
The words caught in your throat.
It wasn’t the deliveryman standing there, but the sheriff—Leon Kennedy—silhouetted in the doorway like a figure out of legend. His wide-brimmed hat, damp and battered, was barely clinging to his head thanks to the string knotted beneath his chin. On his shoulders, six sacks of supplies were stacked so high it made him look almost absurd in the middle of your little bakery. Snow clung to his coat like he’d wrestled a blizzard and won, but that didn’t stop him from nudging the door shut with the heel of his boot and stepping further inside. The quiet thud of those sacks hitting the wooden floor sent a plume of cold air swirling around the room.
You blinked at him, dumbfounded.
“Sheriff?”
Leon straightened, dusting snow from his coat with broad, deliberate swipes. “Sorry I’m late.” He nodded to the sacks, as though hauling half a wagon’s worth of supplies on his back through a blizzard was the most normal thing in the world.
“Where’s the wagon?” you managed, trying to peer through the frosted window before turning back to him.
“Broke down a mile back,” he said, his voice roughened by the cold. “Axle snapped.”
Your stomach dropped. “A mile? In this weather?”
“Figured I’d at least bring what I could carry.” He kicked the snow from his boots, each thud matching the quickening of your heartbeat. “Rest will have to wait.”
You stared at him, then the sacks of flour and sugar piled on the floor. He’d walked through a goddamn blizzard. A mile, uphill, no less—you didn’t even need to ask to know that was the case. You opened your mouth to say something, but all that came out was a breath of air. Finally, you croaked, “I… Thank you.”
Leon just nodded, like gratitude was something he shrugged off the same way he shook snow from his coat. “What needs doin’?” he asked, glancing toward the empty shelves. “Looks like you’re behind.”
You’d just watched the man shoulder a blizzard and a mile of snowbanks, and now he wanted to help you restock?
Your gaze flickered to him—to his reddened cheeks and the tips of his nose, glowing like embers from the cold. The dark leather of his duster was soaked through, clinging to him like a second skin, and the snow gathered on the brim of his hat had begun to melt and drip onto the floorboards.
“Hold on a second,” you said, recovering your wits as you marched around the counter. “You’re half-frozen, Sheriff. Give me that coat before you catch your death.”
Leon’s brow quirked faintly, his lips twitching into something close to a smile. “I’m fine.”
“The hell you are.” You grabbed the hem of his coat, already tugging it off his shoulders before he could protest. The leather was heavier than it looked, soaked through and frigid to the touch. Jesus.
Leon let out a small, huffed laugh, raising his arms in surrender as you worked the coat free. Cedar, you thought absently, catching the scent that clung to him, warm and woodsy even beneath the chill.
“Sit down and warm up,” you ordered, pointing toward the small table near the fire. “You're not going anywhere in this weather.”
“And the shelves?” he asked, ever the dutiful sheriff.
“None of your damn business. You just carried half the territory’s worth of flour through a blizzard—I’d say you’ve earned five minutes.”
Leon’s smile turned genuine then, soft around the edges, and for the first time since he’d walked in, you saw the faintest hint of color return to his face. He nodded, boots thudding against the floor as he made his way to the chair.
As you turned back toward the sacks of supplies, already mentally calculating how much work lay ahead, you couldn’t help but glance over your shoulder. Leon was sitting by the fire now, elbows resting on his knees, hat in one hand and gloves dangling from the other, his gaze distant as he watched the flames. He looked tired. More tired than any man who’d just hauled a mile of flour and sugar should look, but there was something steady in the way he sat there, unshakable, like no storm could ever touch him.
You exhaled softly, shaking your head as you rolled up your sleeves. Christmas was comin’ whether the snow liked it or not.
You busied yourself at the counter, half-focused on the dough you were rolling out and half on the quiet presence of the man. After a while, the silence stretched like the dough underneath your hands, broken only by the occasional crackle of the fire and the soft thud of your movements against your work surface.
He wasn't very talkative in the first place, you knew as much, thinking that perhaps you could have accomodated him better instead of throwing yourself immediately into work the moment you'd gotten what you'd been waiting for the whole morning. The awkwardness that stifled the bakery was bothersome enough that you chanced another glance at Leon, and caught him watching you, eyes briefly darting to the counter before returning to the oven. 
“You decorating all those yourself?” he asked finally, nodding toward the trays of fresh-out-the-oven, undecorated gingerbread men to the side that were cooling off.
You blinked, pausing mid-roll. “I was planning to, yeah.”
He stood, rolling his shoulders as if testing how much energy he had left after the trek. “You’ve got a lot of work left. Might as well make myself useful.”
Your brows rose in mild surprise, but you quickly recovered. “You’ve already done more than enough.”
“Storm’s not letting up anytime soon,” he said simply, moving closer to the counter. “Might as well pass the time doing something.”
He put as much intensity into the staring match that followed as he would into a gunfight. It was inevitable that you'd lose. 
Finally, you reluctantly handed him an icing bag, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Alright, Sheriff. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Leon took the bag, turning it over in his hands like it was a tool he needed to get a feel for. “Fair warning,” he said, “I’m better with a six-shooter than whatever this is.”
“It’s just icing. Start slow and gentle. No sharpshooting required.”
“Good,” he replied dryly. “Would hate to accidentally take out a gingerbread man.”
Was that... a joke? Did he just make a joke? 
You stepped closer to him, catching the way his hands dwarfed the small icing tube as he held it. His brow furrowed in concentration, the usual stoic expression on his face betraying just a smidge of uncertainty. There was something endearing about seeing him like this, someone so strong and sure reduced to puzzling over frosting.
“Here,” you said softly, placing your hands over his fingers, which twitched beneath yours, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he stilled, letting you guide him. The warmth of his skin seeped into your palms, and you found yourself acutely aware of how close the two of you were.
“Hold it steady,” you murmured, your voice dipping low and deliberate, as if sharing a secret. “The trick is even pressure. Like this.”
You shifted your grip slightly, your thumbs brushing against his knuckles with a deliberate slowness. His hands, so large and steady, seemed to falter beneath your touch, the tiniest twitch betraying his awkwardness. You caught the faint hitch in his breath and felt the way his shoulders stiffened, as though unsure whether to lean into your guidance or escape it entirely, yet together with you, he squeezed the tube gently, a neat line of icing trailing onto the cookie below. He wasn’t focused on the cookie, though—not really. The way his hands followed your movements made it clear he was hyper-aware of the closeness, unsure but not resisting. Feeling the heat rise to your face, you quickly changed tack, pulling your hands away with a light laugh.
"You’ve got it from here," you said, stepping back slightly and gesturing to the cookie in front of him, your tone bright and easy.
Leon exhaled slowly, his breath brushing the side of your face. “Guess I was pressing too hard.”
“Most people do,” you replied, glancing up at him briefly. His focus was in front of him, but his jaw was tight. You could feel the tension in his shoulders despite him admitting what he'd been doing wrong. “Relax your grip a little.”
You adjusted his hold, guiding his hand through another clean line of icing, your bodies aligned as if the two of you had done this a hundred times before. When you finally released his hands, the absence of contact felt oddly stark... Thanks to the cold weather, no doubt. 
“Think you’ve got it now?” you asked, stepping back slightly, though your heartbeat had yet to slow.
“Think I’ll need a little more practice.”
That sounded suave at the time, but he was right, in the end. Leon’s first attempt at decorating was, to put it kindly, a disaster.
The icing tube seemed to have a mind of its own, spilling a shaky, jagged line across the gingerbread man’s torso. His frown was growing deeper by each passing minute, and he was constantly adjusting his grip, but it only got worse. By the time he set the tube down, the poor cookie looked more like a battlefield casualty than a festive treat.
You couldn’t hold back your laughter. It bubbled up, light and genuine, as you reached over to inspect his handiwork. “Well,” you said, biting back a grin, “it’s… unique.”
“It’s terrible,” Leon muttered, a touch of color rising in his cheeks as he glanced at your much neater designs. “Maybe I should stick to chasing outlaws.”
“Aw, come on,” you teased, nudging his arm. “You’re just gettin' started. Besides, this is supposed to be fun, not perfect.”
He gave a skeptical huff but picked up the tube again, determined to try. How earnest. You leaned closer, pointing out how to apply even pressure, your hands brushing his as you demonstrated even though you didn't really need to do all of that. Something about enjoying a skilled grown man being awkward about something you were good at and wanting to enjoy moments of making him fumble. 
“There you go,” you encouraged as his next attempt turned out… well, marginally better. “See? Not bad for a first-timer.”
"I feel bad for whoever this will be eaten by," he muttered, referring to the misshapen abomination in his hand that could hardly qualify as a 'person.'
"It's the Mayor," you blurted out without thinking, causing a choked laugh escape past his lips, surprise lighting up his handsome features.
"Really?"
"Yep," you grinned, winking conspiratorially at him. "You're helping me bribe the man to invest more on Christmas. Gotta throw in some of your... specialties in there for good luck."
"You're trying to get me fired," he deadpanned, as dry as the wood stacked by the hearth. "And blacklisted."
A loud laugh tore itself out of your throat, warm and melodious in nature. He looked oddly pleased at having brought it out of you, the corners of his lips twitching up minutely before returning to its neutral position. God, how cute! You wondered what other expressions you could draw out of him if you tried. It wasn't fair how handsome he was when he smiled like that, a real smile, with actual emotion. That tiny change softened the harsh line of his mouth and eased the shadow of exhaustion from his face, making him look like a completely different person, like another version of himself who existed behind closed doors. The image stayed burned into your mind's retina as you resumed decorating the cookies with your nimble fingers, sneaking glances every so often, studying him from beneath your lashes.
You wanted to know more about this man. In a way, this snowstorm had been a good thing. 
“So,” you started, reaching for another cookie to decorate, “what made you take the sheriff’s job? Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t strike me as the type who’d want to babysit a town like this.”
Leon glanced at you, his hand pausing mid-squeeze. “What makes you say that?”
“Oh, ya know.” You gestured vaguely at him, smirking. “That look. Like you’ve seen too much of the world already and don’t trust any of it.”
He let out a soft, humorless laugh. “You’re not wrong.” For a moment, he focused on his cookie again, the silence stretching between you both. Then, quietly, he added, “I figured it was time to slow down. Maybe try something simpler.”
You arched a brow. “Simpler? Sheriff in a town like this? You must not have heard about all the trouble this place sees.”
“I’ve heard,” he said, glancing your way with the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes. “Still beats the alternative.”
The weight in his voice gave you pause. You didn’t press, sensing there were things he wasn’t ready to share, and not your place to know in the first place. Instead, you held up one of your finished cookies. “Well, here’s to slowing down. Even if it means spending your days wrestling with icing.”
“I’ll take it over the wrestling I’m used to,” he said, his lips twitching into a soft smile as he picked up another cookie. "Already like this better. It's nice working with someone like this. Having a calm evening instead of the usual shit I'm doing. Christmas cookie decorating. Who'd've thought, right?"
"That sounds lonely, Sheriff."
A strange, distant look crossed over his face momentarily, something melancholic and longing flitting across his face before it vanished again under the cool mask you were familiar with.
He let out a small, sad sigh. "...Yeah. S'pose it is."
"You know... Christmas is all about coming together. Starting fresh. And sometimes taking a little break from reality to enjoy yourself," you added thoughtfully, trying not to be too on the nose about what you were trying to convey. "We all need a little grace. Especially around this time of year."
He snorted softly at that, amused.
Your hand moved quicker than your mind could react, bringing the piping tip dangerously close to his mouth. "Care to repeat that?"
Leon blinked, momentarily stunned. "Christmas suits you," he repeated, more brazenly this time, daring you to follow through with the implicit threat. "All warm and welcoming." He leaned forward, almost challenging in nature. "Like this bakery of yours."
"Oh, well—" your ears burned hotter at the implications. If anyone saw you like this now, you would've been done for.
You cleared your throat, attempting to keep yourself composed even as Leon's stare bore a hole through your skull. The damn man was just teasing you, looking smug as fuck for figuring out how to make you flustered for once.
"You better watch your pretty mouth, or else I'll decorate it shut instead."
Leon threw you his most innocent, butter-wouldn't-melt smile, and oh—was he laying it on thick just to rile you up. He seemed to have recovered from earlier, all broody and cold-shouldered as he usually was. This new, playful side of him was going to kill you before the day was over, you were absolutely certain of it.
"Maybe next time," he said simply with a nonchalant shrug. 
The man had some nerve. Just the mere implication made your head spin. Did he mean it? Was he flirting? What did that mean for him? For you? You thought back to the few times you'd seen him around town—the polite smiles and nods exchanged at a distance; the brief conversation when your order went missing; the sudden appearance this afternoon that saved your day—and wondered why things were so easy between you despite how limited the interactions. Maybe because you knew each other well enough in name only, without the addition of many personal details beyond those spoken on a passing basis. Or maybe there was something deeper and unspoken that existed between you two ever since that first interaction at the saloon several weeks ago. Maybe you weren't imagining the subtle, shy looks, the hidden smiles, the way he tended to linger by the doorway to watch you work long after he ran out of excuses to be there anymore.
You shook away such thoughts and returned to decorating, not sure what to say in response.
"...Do you ever get the temptation to have any while you do this?" He asked all of a sudden, changing the topic abruptly. "Or wait til the last batch gets done and then have them?"
"These are for Christmas!"
"They are for the Mayor."
You couldn't help but giggle, especially since he said that like someone else would talk about some slimy thing on the bottom of their shoe. "For Christmas's sake."
"Would you eat one? Any of these ones I did?" There was something almost like playful disappointment there, in his tone. "I think we need to do some... quality testing before deciding to send them off to my employer and risk my job while we're at it."
There were very few times Leon Kennedy was described as an optimist, even fewer times he could be considered amusing (the townsfolk seemed convinced he wasn't capable of joy), but hearing him make a joke regarding his 'employer' with you made something flip inside your tummy. It didn't take long for you to cave, popping the partially iced gingerbread man into your mouth.
And that's how both of you ended up sitting down and devouring the whole batch, with two cups of steaming hot chocolate courtesy of yours truly. In true Christmas spirit, Leon even suggested making a gingerbread house from scratch in the shape of the mayor's office (complete with a gingerbread dog) and helping you with the baking process.
At this point, neither of you cared about decorum—the sheriff's sleeves were rolled up high on his arms, and you'd shucked your apron ages ago. Between the pair of you, you had enough raw dough in your mouths to sink a ship, but it was delicious, and your stomach was full of warm gingerbread and sweet cream. All that was missing was eggnog and a roaring fire, and it really felt like Christmas. His company, too, was surprisingly pleasant. Though Leon was quiet—always quiet—he listened attentively to your chatter while you kneaded the dough and he mixed the sugar and eggs while occasionaly going in for the hot chocolate, which was quite endearing for a man you hadn't seen with any beverage other than some sort of alcohol at the saloon.
You leaned against the counter as Leon poured another mug of hot chocolate, his sleeves still rolled up and his hair slightly mussed from pushing it away too many times so it wouldn't get in his eyes while he worked. The snowstorm had calmed some, but the wind still howled outside, leaving little to do but bake another batch of cookies and fruitcakes to pass the time—and keep the shop warm.
“So, about that axle,” you started, reaching for the bowl of flour. “No one told you it was shot?”
Leon shook his head, his expression almost sheepish. “Guess I didn’t ask the right questions. Higgins just said it was ‘good enough.’”
You snorted, scooping flour into the mixing bowl. “‘Good enough’ by Higgins’ standards means it’s one bump away from falling apart. The man’s been patching that wagon together with spit and stubbornness for years.”
Leon’s lips twitched in a faint smile as he leaned against the counter across from you. “Noted for next time.”
“You’re lucky it lasted as long as it did. But you’ll get used to that around here. Everyone’s got their quirks, and most of them involve cutting corners where they shouldn’t.”
“Yeah?” Leon’s tone invited more, his eyes steady on yours as he sipped his hot chocolate.
“Oh, definitely,” you said, grabbing the sugar. “Take Mrs. Winslow, for example. Sweet old lady, bakes pies for half the town out of the goodness of her heart that it's bad for my business, but did you know she’s the reason the post office closes early every other Thursday?”
Leon blinked. “I… can’t say I did.”
You grinned, leaning in conspiratorially. “She’s been having a years-long feud with the postmaster’s wife over some quilting contest back in ‘64. The poor postmaster just shuts up shop early to keep the peace whenever she’s around.”
“Jesus…”
“And then there’s Old Man Miller. Nice fella, always has a good story to share, but he’s also the same guy who thinks it’s a bright idea to milk his cows at midnight to ‘beat the rush’ at the market in the morning.” You laughed, remembering the sight of Mr. Miller stumbling bleary-eyed into the bakery, smelling distinctly of barnyard. “And let me tell you, that man’s cheese tastes like the butt crack of dawn on a Monday morning itself.”
Leon chuckled, shaking his head. “Sounds charming.”
“It is. Charming and... a little crazy, to be honest. But that’s the kind of place this is. We’ve all got our stories, and we’re all a bit touched in the head. Except me, of course. I’m the picture of sanity. Why, just yesterday, I had a completely normal, rational conversation with my sourdough starter as I fed it. It agreed wholeheartedly.”
“I see the resemblance,” Leon joked, his posture relaxing as he took over the task of adding eggs to the bowl, his fingers moving deftly and confidently. “Did the sourdough give you any tips for dealing with the townsfolk, or is that a trade secret?”
"Ah, wouldn't you like to know," you teased, laughing along. "But honestly, the best advice I can offer is to roll with the punches. This place will drive you nuts if you try to understand it. Just let the weird wash over you, and eventually, you'll feel at home."
Leon paused, considering your words. "That might take a while."
“Here's some secrets to keep up... There’s old Tom over at the smithy. He’ll fix your horseshoes for half price, but only if you promise not to bring up the time he accidentally set fire to the mayor’s porch.”
You glanced up to find his eyes crinkling slightly at the edges.
“And let’s not forget about the Reverend,” you continued, emboldened by the sight. “Bless his heart, but he’s been known to sample a little too much of the communion wine. You’ll know it’s happened when he starts quoting Shakespeare in his sermons.”
Leon nodded wisely. “Duly noted. Blackmail Tom, steer clear of the reverend during happy hour. Got any other wisdom to impart, town sage?”
You tapped your chin thoughtfully, enjoying the playful back-and-forth. “Well, if you ever need a favor from the schoolmarm, remember that her favorite flowers are peonies. And whatever you do, do not play poker with the Doc. The man can cheat like no one's business, and no, he's not above using his medical degree to his advantage. Also, avoid the butcher on Tuesdays—he's extra cranky after haggling prices with the ranchers. Oh, and never, ever bet against the blacksmith in an arm-wrestling match. Trust me, I learned that the hard way. Poor Billy. That boy won't learn his lesson anytime soon."
"What about the town baker?" he asked, his tone light, a hint of curiosity in his question, his focus on the dough in front of him, his fingers kneading the mound of flour, butter, and sugar. "Any secrets worth knowing?"
You quirked a brow, a sly smile playing at the corners of your mouth at him taking the first step that he'd been circling for quite some time. What would he have done if you weren't good with signals? Nevermind, though, you liked this brand of shy men. "Well, now that you mention it, there is one thing..."
Leon paused, his hands buried in the dough, his muscles flexing beneath his shirt sleeves. He looked at you expectantly, a glint of intrigue in his otherwise impassive demeanor.
"The baker," you said in a hushed tone, leaning forward as if sharing a secret, "has a weakness for a handsome, helpful sheriff who knows his way around a bag of icing. Especially one who's willing to brave a snowstorm to deliver her supplies personally."
The blush that crept up Leon's neck was immediate, his cheeks turning a delightful shade of pink. You couldn't help but bite your lower lip, finding his flustered state absolutely adorable. His grip on the dough tightened momentarily, and he averted his eyes, his lashes fluttering as he tried to compose himself.
"Ah," he managed, his throat bobbing in a nervous gulp.
You nodded, the grin on your face growing wider. "Mhm. She would love it if on Christmas Eve, that certain sheriff stopped by the bakery to pick up her special order. Maybe even have a drink together. To thank him for all his help, of course. If he's not busy, that is."
Leon cleared his throat, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, his attention still fixed on the dough before him. "I... I'll be sure to check my schedule," he managed, a slight tremor in his deepened voice.
"Good," you replied, straightening up, satisfied with his response. "Now, enough chit-chat, Sheriff. Let's get these gingerbread men in the oven so they can rest and bake, and we can have more hot chocolate and relax in the meantime. How does that sound?"
"Sounds like a plan," Leon agreed, his shoulders relaxing somewhat, though his ears still burned a rosy red.
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cozzzynook · 6 hours ago
Note
Brining back your HC that TFA Bee is half insectacon I have a bit of a sad & sweet idea.
While it had been no one's idea to go the team were forced to head back to Cybertron due to Optimus needing to take part of an important meeting. Of course the Prime tried to go alone but his friends refused to let him go alone just in case he needed help. Since they would be stuck on Cybertron for a few weeks the team decide to explore, meeting up with old friends and family or checking out the city.
Bumblebee on the other hand was just walking down a street alone, he could have gone with Bulkhead to see the new race track that they built or joined Jazz at his buddies party but for some reason he found himself walking alone. Something was pulling at his spark, telling him to follow and quickly. It wasn't long until Bee found himself standing at the border of Iaon city, what he saw next made his energon run cold.
Just as Bee was about to turn back a large insectacon emerged form the shadows hissing and clicking its mandibles as he it approached Bumblebee. Despite its vicious jaws the insectacon never attacks, instead it leans down giving the yellow mech a quick sniff before nuzzling Bumblebee. Insecatcon's can smell one of their own from miles away and being sociable beans they quickly try and pick up any wandering strays, no matter if they are lost or not.
"Hey that tickles!" Bee giggled as he gently pushes the bugs mandibles away before giving his own little greeting chirp. "Its been a while since I've seen you, Snapjaw how have you been?"
"Good, little Bee returns to the hive after so long?" Snapjaw clicked as her wings buzzed happily. "Have the plain mechs been treating you well? Do they know you share the hive's blood?"
Bee cringed a little quickly wrapping one arm around the other as he gave a sheepish smile. "Eh, could be better my team is nice though. But they don't know who I'm really am...yet"
"You should tell them soon, I can smell your brood cycle starting in a few days. Do you have any mates planed?" Snapjaw grumbled already fussing over their small friend.
"Oh scrap, that's starting so soon?!" Panic filled Bee's spark as he quickly ran a hud scan. Just as he assumed a warning pop-up telling him about his frame temperature slowly beginning to rise as well as warning to informing that his tanks will be active in a few days. "Scrap...I forget to take suppressers this month. Thanks for the warning Snapjaw"
"Take care little Bee, remember you're always welcomed with the hive" With a quick buzz Snapjaw opened her wings and took off heading back towards the outskirts.
Quickly heading back into the city Bumblebee made a dash towards for Ratchet's place hoping he could borrow any last moment heat suppressers. While his heat cycles weren't any different form a normal bots there was a down side, he became rather broody and grumpy, if he failed to fill his tanks with transfluid he would end up laying dud eggs, normally he would quickly destroy them before anyone found out that's how he kept bots normally in the dark about his heritage but being on Cybertron and staying in barracks with his team meant the risk of getting found was too great. Bee cursed himself for not keeping better track of his cycles as he barged into the clinic he knew Ratchet was currently helping out at.
_____
The pale lights buzzed as Ratchet quickly rummaged through his first aid kit grumbling. "You couldn't have informed me before we got to Cybertron kid?" The medic turned his attention to Bumblebee who was standing awkwardly in the corner of the room.
"I thought it wouldn't be until much later..." Bee shuffled looking away being unable to look Ratchet in the optic.
"Well, sorry to break it to yer kid, but I'm all out of suppressers. You can try and see if any store has any or try your luck in asking a old friend to see if you can borrow one. Other than that, you're stuck having this cycle" Ratchet crossed his arms giving a soft huff. "Want me to give you a couple of spike wraps just in case?"
"Sure, thanks Doc bot" Bumblebee gave a small smile as he tired not to panic. He knew he could trust his team not to bother him during his cycle but he really didn't want them discovering who he truly was. There have been to many horror stories of hybrid mecha being executed for being 'freaks' and he really didn't want to be one of them. "Mech, this sucks..."
"Sadly, heat cycles are just what happens to young bots. A price to pay in order to make more sparklings" Ratchet grumbled as he handed the wraps to Bee. "Now I've informed the others about this and they should leave you alone, but if you want too you can still ask someone to join you if it helps speed things along. Just be careful"
"I will, thanks again Ratchet" Quickly turning Bee left the room and then headed back out into the city. Dragging a servo down his face he let out a long frustrated sigh already feeling the signs of pre heat. Maybe Ratchet was right, having a partner would speed things along much quicker. Quickly looking down at the spike wraps in his servo Bee then pulls up his comm link sending a ping to one of the few mechs he trusted fully, hoping it wouldn't be so sudden or weird. "Hey Prowl, uh want to help a mech out?"
^_^
SMILEY THIS IS WONDERFUL ALLDIOSIDOOSOKX KAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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purplesaline · 2 months ago
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In our current society (in North America and much of the western world) we can't completely avoid capitalism, but with some work and dedication we can reduce how much we have to participate in it.
Building community is hard, and it often requires a lot of up front investment in time and energy before you start seeing returns on that investment. I know not everyone is in a place where they can make those expenditures without getting anything back right away which is why it's even more important for those of us who can to start building sooner rather than later.
When you have a healthy, thriving community of people you can start withdrawing yourself more and more from reliance on a broken capitalist system. Yes there's mutual aid within a community but what's even more exciting to me is the option of participating in a barter/trade economy because it's so often more empowering for disabled folks and other marginalized groups that struggle in a capitalist economy.
And even more importantly than that, it's how we can survive a political landscape that is openly hostile to us. It's as impossible to avoid the fallout of the current political situation as it is to avoid participating in a capitalist economy, but being part of a strong and healthy community can at least help mitigate some of the harmful effects.
Neighbours sharing produce from their gardens can lessen the chances of food-borne illness as a result of lax food safety regulations.
Creating, maintaining, and sharing resources that help marginalized groups can help protect vulnerable people in your area when the larger resources are being dismantled or when people acting in bad faith are pretending to be a helpful organization.
Communities have more leverage (and resources) when it comes time to put pressure on local government to make progressive changes
As communities grow, empathy and compassion for the people in the community also spreads and that can help create allies against the bigotry and prejudice some of the community members face. When you're in community together with someone it's harder to depersonalize them. They aren't [insert oppressed group] member, they're the person who walks your dog and brings you beets in exchange for piano lessons, or the person who loaned you a spare tire so you could go to work and when you got home that evening they'd fixed your flat tire for free because they had the time and some spare material laying around from a repair they did on their own tire.
It's going to be really easy to give in to despair in the coming months and I'm not going to lie and say you can survive it. Some folks won't. I'm not going to lie and promise if you can make it through that things will get easier, they might not!
But if you can hang on I can promise you there's a chance things will get better, and I can promise you there's a whole heck of a lot of us out there trying to make sure it does get better. I can promise you that building community will help you survive when things start getting harder, and I can promise you that community can be a beacon of light in dark times, a bastion of hope in a desert of despair.
I know you're tired and I'll understand if you can't keep fighting, but I really hope you've got enough resilience left to hang on long enough to find a community to be part of.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 5 months ago
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Villain!Ghost x Pregnant!Wife!Reader
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Synopsis: Your husband wants your company..
A/n: GUYS OMG, I know it's been 1 month and a little more since my last official work. I've been procrastinating on this for so long since I only have less than a week till school again.. Also everyone I love on this app is just disappearing, like @ghost-cyphera just deleted her account 4 days ago and I got the notif but didn't see it in time, I didn't even get to say goodbye. Just wanted to apologize to you guys after being gone for so long as well. Also, another villain!Ghost drabble? 👀
Finding it difficult to walk was one of the least things you've suspected you'd be concerned of upon conceiving, always needing your handmaiden's help in such a mundane task was shameful to say the least but your husband insisted.
If it hadn't been the hand maiden then it would've been him instead, you couldn't keep him from his duties from the kingdom as he carried even yours. Wanting you to turn your attention to the health of the babe growing in you and especially yourself..
"My lady.." you were pulled out of your thoughts by the voice of your handmaiden. You took in a breath from the cool air that blew on your face as you stood by the stone railing..
"Yes, Leticia?" You turned to her..
"The prince consort has requested your company.." Leticia announced, you nod as you removed your hand from the cold stone. You glanced once more to the people of your kingdom, going about their day and life before gently lifting yourself off from leaning on the stone.
Leticia offered you her arm to help you walk more efficiently..
...
"You sent for me..?" You asked your husband, he was sat and signing another set of documents and scrolls. You closed the door, palms gently pushing till you heard it click.
"No, I told them to announce my arrival to you. How dare they exert my wife by giving her false instructions.." he huffed to which you laughed. He wouldn't do anything violent about it, as he so usually does with staff that don't comply but he knew it'd upset you if anything gory were to happen to them.
"I am quite alright, I need to move around too. It's proven to be good for our child." You said, sitting next to the graciously comfortable chair next to his working desk that he had someone make for you.
You felt relief from the pressure previously on your back, hand on the bump of your stomach and with that a sigh came from your lips. Peacefully watching your husband, the sound of the satisfying scratching of the quill on the crisp papers.
You felt his hand grasp yours, he pulled it, lips resting on the back. His affection made your heart beat faster and he felt it, the pad of his index finger on your wrist. The thumping made him chuckle as you smiled and leaned your head on his shoulder.
"You should rest for a while, my love. You'd work yourself to sickness at this point." You kiss his cheek softly. He put his quill down, "If that's my wife wants.." he said.
He wrapped his arm around you, the other hand placed on your baby bump. His thumb gently rubbing, you jolted a bit feeling a strong kick..
It made you groan, how restless the rascal is. Your husband adjusted his hand to feel the next kick.. he'd swear it was a girl, not that he'd care for that sort of thing. He'd kill for them either way, especially for you. He could stare at you all day, swollen with his child.
How glowing you looked wrapped in the finest silk and the gold and jewels in your hair and body clicking upon contact with another piece, he wished he could tell you how utterly speechless you'd leave each man by just walking passed them but to him no word is enough to describe you.
At least he could spend these small intimate moments with just you and you alone, free of the world for even just a few minutes as he needed a break from the work he very much was eager to do to be able to receive praise from his wife..
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle
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hello-eden · 5 months ago
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Unexpected Hope
Damian has been disoriented all week. When he was told that stopping the ritual would have repercussions, he did not expect this. He had been dealing with the memories on his own but unfortunately he could not postpone this gala. 
He had been stopping a ritual that would end up summoning the being he now knows as Undergrowth. Damien does not regret that choice especially now that he has the context. Unfortunately it brought back his memories of Phantom.
He didn't quite understand they were memories for quite a while honestly he was a little bit concerned he got possessed. Thankfully after some compartmentalizing and a little bit of isolation, he figured out what was wrong. It did not help the confusion that comes with being a Midwestern teen and an assassin child put into one body but he has gotten the hang of it. 
Unfortunately Damian did not get long before he was forced back into the presence of his family. he had put off many public family events in the last few months so he was not able to get out of this event. he probably could have faked being sick but he'd much prefer to be able to pass off any of his symptoms from the memories as uncomfortableness being around strangers then be alone with his family. 
He's honestly very happy with his choice after he sees her. He doesn't recognize her at first with the dark auburn braided hair and the dress being something other than black but something made him turn around when he heard her rant.
She was giving a humanitarian speech to one of the investors. At first he got closer just to hear about it. It's always funny to see the faces of the imbeciles when people don't bow to their wishes.
Damien thought he finally found someone who was not a gold digger or a social climber. What made him really stop in his tracks was her body language. It was like a neon flashing sign opened up and said ‘hey this is Sam Mason’. 
Damien walked over with hope in his chest that he was not alone. she eventually seemed to get tired of the man or maybe he was able to scramble an excuse and walk away. he couldn't quite hear but by the time he walked over there it was only her.
 “you seem to be quite passionate,” Damian says, trying to start a conversation and figuring out how to ask the hard question.
 What is he exactly supposed to say? ‘Hey, are you my best friend for my last life or hey do you remember being on my ghost hero vigilante team that ended up with all of us being Undead royalty.’
The girl looks him over, probably trying to figure out what he wants. 
“Are you here to argue?” She says angrily, obviously ready for another fight.
“Your speech reminds me of someone, have you ever heard of Samantha Mason” Damien says trying to be nonchalant.
Her eyes seem to widen and look him over again.
“Where'd you hear that name.” She ordered.
“I've heard enough of her rants to be able to pick it out from a crowd.”
 “Danny,”  She said softly her grabbing his hands and squeezing as she looked around to make sure no one saw. “what how I thought it was the only one” Hope seemed to be filling her eyes. 
“Hi Sam” Damien Whispers just as softly just as glad he is not alone. 
Without another word Sam drags them to the stairway rushing up to the floor upstairs and trying to find a room that isn't being used. She eventually finds one two floors above the room they were using for the gala and pushes him into what looks like a break room.
 “How the hell did you get your memories” Sam demands 
“Why are you yelling at me? You have your memories too obviously if you are recognizing your name” Damian says shouting back at her. 
Sam always has a way of catching him off guard. She was happy just a minute ago. 
“yeah well I did something stupid which means I know you did something stupid” Sam said pointing her finger at him.
“ Well I may have accidentally stumbled upon a ritual for summoning an ancient and when I stopped it the backlash gave me my memories back. ” Damien stumbled over their words trying to justify themselves. "What stupid thing did you do?”
“The girls in my stupid Prep School in my grade went through a very witchy phase. there was a slumber party and they were stupid enough to actually find real magic. I had a cut on my hand earlier in the day and try to freak them out by adding a little bit of my blood. apparently my protection spell is literally stuck into my soul, so things went down” Sam says just as hesitantly as Damien
 “you have zero leg to stand on okay fine we were both stupid” 
They both sat there in silence for a while, mostly just basking in each other's presents realizing they weren't alone anymore.
“it's good to have you back," Damian says, giving her a weak smile and running his hands through his hair.
He'd been trained out of all of his nervous ticks but it probably makes her more comfortable to see him just as nervous as she is.
“it's good to see you too da- do you have the same name?” both of them don't seem to realize at the same time that they didn't get each other's names. 
“Damien” he says as he pulls his hand out of his hair and puts his hand out for a handshake. 
“Sarah” she says, grabbing his hand and giving it a shake.
the two of them shake their hand for a moment before they look at each other's eyes and burst out giggling. 
Damien's really glad he decided to not pretend to be sick.
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yndrgrl · 1 year ago
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katsuki bakugo is the only man who can help bunnygirl! you during heat.
established relationship. normal! au. first time as a couple.
warnings: nsfw, lowkey angst ngl, fellatio, praise, slight degradation, creampie
if you're here for the nsfw part, i marked it >:)
a/n: dude, idk why my last fic has that "mature" label 😭 also is this a hypersexual comfort fic? yeah.
---
"are you okay? you look hot?"
"your forehead is on fire!"
"you look red. drink some water."
you've been hearing that non-stop all day. of course, you know that everyone has good intentions, but it was so annoying.
no, you didn't feel fine, nor did you feel sick. it was a strange, embarrassing thing to admit. in a world full of truly remarkable quirks, you just had to get a basic one. your quirk was rabbit. you know mirko? yeah, well you two are in the same boat.
you have floppy bunny ears the same color as your hair, a puff ball of a bunny tail, & muscular legs. all so cutesy & alright to deal with. the behavioral traits were what got you though. increased hearing, jittery/easily scared, & most annoying of all, the heat that came with it.
though it wasn't unusual to have heat, it was definitely not something you mention in a passing conversation. heat made it hard to focus on anything except for breeding & sex. your senses are enhanced, making clothes feel itchy at all times. your train of thought always derailed to live making. that's why you were prescribed heat repressant.
no side affects & it worked like a charm.
however, this month you forgot to stock up on them, & you just so happened to run out. you would've just skipped school to get some, but it was midterms, which comes with tests & presentations that simply could not be made up. it was either fail your classes or bite the bullet.
"oi! what's your deal?" someone barked at you. ah yes, your boyfriend of six months, katsuki bakugo.
"nothing," you said with annoyance. another thing about your heat is that you get irritable because of the overwhelming feeling of needing to do a certain activity. "don't worry about it."
taken aback, katsuki reached out for you & spun you around. your eyes welled with tears of frustration & utter embarrassment, the tips of your ears were red, & every thread of your clothes made your skin crawl. "hey, what's going on?"
"i-it's nothing, just leave me alone. class is about to start." you understood how much katsuki prides himself in his academics. you're not gonna be the one to drag him down; that's not very amazing-cool-awesome girlfriend of you, after all.
he wanted to say that he didn't care & let's just ditch class, but you both knew you couldn't. the exams were too important. luckily for the both of you, the last period of the day was study hall. most kids just skip it, starting their free time early.
just a few classes, then i can go get medication, that's not bad at all, i've been through worse, you thought in attempts to calm yourself.
yeah, but imagine how could it would feel to be absolutely railed, oh fuck, imagine katsuki-
you had to cut yourself off, he was standing right beside you after all.
your relationship with katsuki has been slow, healthy, & true. the most you two have done in the span of six months is make out, grind, & grope each other clothed. both of you saw a future together so having sex didn't have to happen right then & there. if it happens, it happens, but there was no need to have it to connect.
you didn't want you first time with the love of your life to be because of your current circumstances.
"did i do something?" he asked, making your ears twitch.
"no, it's not you," you reassured, "there's nothing going on." you both entered the classroom, & you could feel katsuki's worried stare focused on you the entire time.
you took exam after exam, which, in of itself, is a long, stressful process. the bell rang throughout the school, & your classmates shuffled out of the room to go to their last period. finally, it was study hall. you threw everything into your backpack without a care. you were practically panting.
throughout the school day, the pressure building inside of you only gotten worse. you couldn't stop thinking about katsuki. his god-sent body, his perfect face, his rugged voice. god, he turned you on so much-- too much, actually.
you felt bad for ignoring all of his texts throughout the day. if you didn't, however, you had a feeling you would've sent some embarrassing messages.
as you exited your class, someone grasped your wrist, dragging you out of the school. their touch lit you on fire. you knew exactly who it was. "let me go, katsuki."
"no, not until you tell me what i did!" he growled at you. he doesn't even realize how wet i am for him-
you had to shut off your thoughts, but that's easier said than done.
"i told you already. you didn't do anything."
"well something is going on with you. tell me what's happening," he raised his voice, a vice grip still hanging onto your wrist. you were getting overstimulated & overwhelmed. once again, you couldn't help the angry tears from forming. you couldn't help but hyperfixate on your panties brushing against your sensitive clit. you couldn't help that your nipples were painfully perked.
you can't just admit that though. it's such a stupid problem to you. you felt so wrong & disgusting for thinking about sex all day. "you wouldn't understand!" you finally yelled back. "you wouldn't get it."
he didn't respond. katsuki continued to drag you throughout campus, leaving you with your thoughts.
god, i made him mad, you mentally cried out. hopefully he'll hate fuck you then-
you want to rip out your own brain & throw it on the concrete. it was a constant cycle of that the entire walk.
a few moments later, you realized you were in his dorm, sitting on his bed with him across from you in his desk chair. both of your hands were in his as he brushed his thumbs against your knuckles. that alone gave you goosebumps. "please tell me what's wrong, baby," he said in a hushed near-whimper. "i'm worried about you."
"you really wouldn't get it, katsuki," you whispered, finally letting a few tears roll down your cheek.
he placed his index finger underneath your chin. he gently raised your head, your gaze following suit. the two of you locked eyes, his swirling with worry & yours sprawling in uncertainty. "then make me understand."
"it's my stupid quirk," you exasperated. you tried coming up with ways of how to say what you want to say without scaring him off.
"what about it?" he asked.
"you have such a nice quirk, you know," you started, avoiding his question. "it's just so much flashier & cooler than mine. there's already a rabbit hero!"
"what are you talking about? you do have a cool quirk."
"i'm a bunnygirl. nothing more. people already know what to expect-"
"what is this really about? you brag all the time how you get to come up with new ways to make your quirk yours," he countered, not convinced with your answer. "there's something more, isn't there?"
katsuki was so good at reading people-- at reading you. the other times you've confided in him, your voice lacked clarity, stability. why would it be different now? it wouldn't, that's why.
"yeah, there is," you admitted, tugging on his hands so he'd get closer. "i just don't know how you'll react or how to even say it-"
"it's fine. just tell me, i won't get mad or judge you or whatever," he assured. you began to cry even more, staining his dress shirt.
he smelt so good, i can feel his muscles through his shirt, he's so sexy-
"i need you," you muttered into his chest.
"what was that, baby?"
you glanced up at him, eyes glossy, lips pouted. "i need you."
katsuki's breath hitched, "what are you talking about?" yes, he's had theories about your quirk & its drawbacks. was this it? was his theory correct?
more tears of frustration rolled down your cheeks as you tried to explained, "i have... you know."
his cock stirred, scolding himself mentally for getting hard during a time like this. "have what?" he wanted you to say it, confirm his suspicions.
you took a deep breath. "i have this thing every month or so, & it just makes things so much harder."
"tell me." his stern voice sent shockwaves through you.
it made you obey him automatically, robotically. "i'm going through heat." a silence followed. "it's normal for people with quirks like mine to go through this. i usually have repressants! & i know this probably makes you so uncomfortable; i understand if you don't want to be-"
-- nsfw starts here --
katsuki cut off your rambling, almost offended. "don't ever say that. i want you, all of you."
"p-please don't say such things," you begged him as you felt your pussy throb. "i'm r-really trying to hold back-"
"let me take care of you, princess," katsuki purred, finger tips ghosting over your exposed thighs. he buried his face into the crook of your neck. "do you want this, y/n? because i want you right now. if you tell me you don't want this, i'll stop."
all you could do is nod, your breath turning uneven.
"say it, y/n."
"i need you so bad. please, katsuki," you cried out as you rubbed your legs together.
he smirked into your neck before he started kissing your neck. you couldn't help but whimper. he noticed you holding back, so he bit your neck. he sucked hickeys all over your neck. your unsteady breathes turned into needy moans.
"t-take off my shirt, please-"
katsuki took in your demand by ripping it off your skin as if it were poison. he unhooked your bra, throwing it on the floor. "ah fuck," he groaned, cupping your breasts.
"are they o-okay?"
"you're fuckin' perfect, baby."
with one, he replaced his rough, calloused hand with his mouth. you grinder against his thigh as flicked your nipple with his tongue. "k-katsuki~"
he switched to the other one, giving it the same treatment. "all mine," he growled in between. he nipped at the skin around your nipples. your neck & chest were soon littered with purple marks & bites.
"let me touch you," you begged & you began to fidget with the buttons of his shirt. "take this off~"
"so needy, aren't you, princess," katsuki teased, yet he gave into you. he threw off his shirt, looming over you. goosebumps pricked at your skin, all over your arms down to your legs. you found yourself trailing your hands all over his abs, his muscular arms, around his back. it was like your hands had a mind of their own.
you flipped the two of you around, so now he was under you. "c-can i please mark you?"
he let out a laugh of amusement, making your face turn a deep red. "you don't have to ask, baby," he told you. as a response, you mimicked his actions from earlier. your lips kissed all over his neck, leaving marks in its wake. you trailed down to his chest, then his abs then his v-line until you reached the band of his pants.
the entire time, he was groaning, feeding you praises that shot straight through your core. when you stopped, he looked down at you, & there you were, staring back at him with eager, wide eyes. he could read you so well. "go ahead, y/n. pull them down."
to which you did. you hands hooked both his uniform pants & his boxers. you pulled them down, & your mouth watered when his cock sprung out. "i-it's so big," you moaned; you meant to only think that, but you couldn't help it.
his mushroom tip beaded precum, his veiny shaft twitched in anticipation. "you see how hard i am for you? all for you," katsuki told you, watching your eyes dart to his then back down to his cock.
you started licking him to test the waters. you saw as his eyebrows furrowed together, his mouth agape, narrowed eyes. your licks evolved into you sticking his tip into your mouth. your tongue flicked around his cock. you crossed your eyes & whined when you tasted his precum. thanks to his quirk, it tasted almost sweet, salty, & god, was it addicting.
you bobbed your head up & down his thick rod. the tip hit the back of your throat while spit flooded your mouth. it was hard to breath, but you didn't care. having katsuki inside of you was more important than breathing. "slow down. you're gonna make me cum, good girl."
that was enough inspiration for you. you needed his cum. you forced your head all the way down his cock, your nose buried in his pubes. your eyes watered (for the fifth time today), & you stared into katsuki's eyes. both of his hands tangled themselves into your hair. "i'm gonna fuck that slutty, little throat, okay? just tap if it's too much," he informed, but he had a feeling you were going let him do whatever he wanted.
you moaned as a way to let him know that you heard him. the vibrations quivered his tip. "mmm, fuck. you're doing so good," he praised, jutting his hips forward the drawing them back.
his thrusts at first were small, in fear he was hurting you. however, as he looked down at you, your eyes rolled back, drool spilling out of your mouth, rubbing your aching clit for some sort of release, he couldn't hold back. he started using your throat as a fuck toy.
fast & rough, & all you could do was take it. take it, even though you're crying & it's hard to breath. "i'm close," he uttered out in between moans. his sultry voice turned a pitch higher in a humiliating tease, "you want my cum, baby? huh? c'mon, tell me you want it."
you choked out muffled, "yes please" & "cum down my throat please." he laughed at you trying to form sentences with your mouth stuffed. "such an eager bitch. fine, i'll give you what you want."
he thrusted his hips forwards, keeping your head in place. you face smushed against his hips. his cock twitched as he unloaded spurts of cum down your throat.
he pulled away, & strings of saliva mixed with his semen leaked onto your skirt. you looked back up at him, finding his cock still erect. "you look so surprised," katsuki said as he caught his breath. "i'm still so hard for you. after all, i told you i was going to take care of you."
"p-please have sex with me," you barely even whispered.
"what was that?"
"please-"
"i still can't hear you," katsuki told you, stroking his dick. he really knew how to push your buttons
"please fuck me, katsuki! i need it, i need you so bad~ i need your big cock inside of me," you blurted out. you finally let you stupid, nasty fantasies get the better of you.
judging from katsuki's smug expression, he wanted you to indulge in them. "alright, alright. you've been such a good girl for me. it's the least i could do," he shrugged before flipping you over so you were trapped under him. even in your most intimate moments, he was cocky. & god, did it make your pussy wet.
as he started to pull your skirt down, your hands shot to grab his wrists. "no, fuck me now, i can't wait. it hurts too bad," you whined, your glossy lips pouting.
"of course, princess," he said with a smirk. "whatever you want." katsuki's fingers dove under your skirt to push your panties out of the way. he held your legs up, placing your calves over his shoulders.
he lubed the tip of his dick with your juices by running it through your folds. "you're so wet for me, good girl."
"it's all for you, katsuki~" you purred, anticipation practically killing you. you felt pride as he turned his head to kiss the meat of your calf in approval.
"can't let it go to waste," he told you. he lined his thick, heavy cock with your entrance. something must've taken over you because, the moment it lined up with your hole, you shoved your hips forward with your entire body.
you let out a squeal of pleasure, your pussy stretching to accommodate for katsuki's lengthy cock. "shit, baby, you almost knocked me over," he chuckled as he readjusted. both of his hands were on your hips.
"shut up & fuck me," you growled at him. his cock twitched, brow raised in amusement.
"yes ma'am," he replied, "but remember you said that." from the get-go, his thrusts were powerful, immediately finding the cervix. your nails dug into his biceps down to his wrists. moans, whimpers, & screams spilled out of your lips.
katsuki took his fingers to your mouth & demanded in a low voice, "suck."
the action made you quiet down. he found your g-spot soon after, & you felt lightheaded. with his fingers down your throat, his cock abusing your most sensitive spot, & katsuki whispering dirty nothings into your ears, you shut your eyes & released all the tension building up.
"f-f-fuck, i-i'm cumming, katsuki," you rasped, voice having a small lisp thanks to his fingers. you squirted all over his abdomen, breath heavy & uneven.
he didn't stop though. he still rammed his big fuckin' dick in & out of you, not letting you calm down from your euphoric high. in fact, his hand that you slobbered all over found their way to your clit. he drew small circles around it. "ah, katsuki!" you moaned. "it's too much!"
"you'll be a good girl, & take it, won't you? i haven't cum inside you yet," he responded while his other hand pinched your nipples.
"i-i-i'll be a good girl, katsuki~" you slurred, speaking on beat with his thrusts. he made you cum three more times then you felt as his hips became more robotic, shorter, uncalculated.
"i'm cumming," he groaned through gritted teeth. "i'm cumming. fuckin' take all of it." thick jets of hot, white cum stained your walls. his dick pulsated inside of you. you came again; who could blame you?
he took a few deep breaths, collapsing on top of you as he pulled out of your pussy. cum spilled out of you & onto his sheets. he embraced you, whispering, "round two?"
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megalony · 3 months ago
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Birthday Wishes
I've been on a roll with writing recently and have quite a lot of fics done so I thought I would post a new, fluffy Evan Buckley one today.
I hope you will all like it.
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17
@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22
Evan Buckley Masterlist
It's Bubba
Summary: Evan's birthday is drawing nearer, and so is (Y/n)'s due date. And as luck would have it, the two combine.
(Prequel to It's Bubba, but can be read alone)
Enjoy
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Twisting to the right, (Y/n) leaned down to take one of the many boxes piled up just in front of the lift. She hoped no one would want to use the lift within the next hour, it would be easier for them to use the stairs at this point.
They had taken up most of the corridor with boxes, bags, two suitcases and a few little cabinets and tables.
(Y/n) turned on her heels and backtracked down the corridor towards Chimney's apartment. Maddie had taken a big step by agreeing to move in with Chimney and just like last year when (Y/n) and Evan helped her move into her own place- after two months of living with them. Now, they were helping her move again.
The couple didn't mind, they were happy Maddie was settled and that she trusted Chimney enough to move in with him after all she had been through with Doug.
She barely reached the apartment door before a pair of hands were suddenly stealing the box from her arms.
"Thank you."
A frown etched onto her face and she moved her empty hands down to plant on her hips. Her brows rose and she tilted her head to the side when she looked across at Maddie who spun round to take the box inside and find somewhere to put it.
(Y/n) huffed as she watched her sister in law walk inside. She could carry a box. She may be eight months pregnant, but (Y/n) was more than capable of carting the smaller boxes from the lift all the way here to the apartment. She had helped load up the lift downstairs with Maddie while Evan did the heavy lifting, bringing everything from the van inside the building.
With pursed lips, she spun on her heels and trudged back towards the lift. She scrutinised the boxes and went with one full of nicnacs and letters and certificates. Easy things. Light things that wouldn't be classed as 'too heavy'.
She passed Chimney in the corridor as he went out for the some of the last few boxes to bring in. A smile flitted across her lips when she walked inside and she could hear the music blaring out from the tv. (Y/n) had a feeling Evan was the one in control of the tv remote this afternoon.
Her eyes glanced around the apartment once she was inside, trying to see where was the best place to start stacking the last of Maddie's things when there already seemed to be very little space left in the apartment.
But just as (Y/n) walked over towards the living room, a gasp tumbled past her lips when the box was taken from her hands much the same as the last one had been.
"Give that to me."
She tilted her head back, staring up at her husband as he walked past her and set the box down on the sofa along with the large bag of books he had hooked on his elbow as if it weighed nothing.
"Why am I here if you won't let me carry anything?" (Y/n) tapped her foot against the floor while her arms folded over her chest.
She may as well have stayed at home if everyone was going to dictate what she could and couldn't carry. Evan barely let her get anything out the van downstairs and she had scarcely been allowed to get in the lift with everything and bring it up to this floor. (Y/n) was here to help, she didn't want to feel useless or like she couldn't do anything.
Her eyes followed Evan as he walked towards her with a smirk dancing across his lips and his hands reaching out for her. He held her hips and tugged her closer until her bump was pressing into his abdomen.
"You're already carrying precious cargo." He glided his thumb up and down the side of her stomach.
She had been having back ache for the last week or so, Evan didn't want her carrying anything too heavy and making herself feel any worse.
"You can always organise while we unpack everything." Maddie gave (Y/n)'s shoulder a squeeze as she walked past them both and placed a bag down on the sofa. Thank God everything was almost moved into the apartment now, or else they would run out of room.
With a huff and a smile she tried to hide, (Y/n) wormed around Evan and slowly sat down on the sofa in the small gap between the arm rest and the boxes piled onto it. If they were going to try and make her 'take it easy' then she may as well sit down for a while.
She smiled when Evan perched on the arm rest beside her and she cuddled up into his side and perched her chin on his thigh. It was soothing to feel his hand running up and down her back and she could feel his leg jittering every so lightly as he tapped his heel against the floor in a rhythmic pattern.
They both watched Maddie as she looked around the living room, both pleased that practically everything was finally here. But also overwhelmed at the effort it was going to take to unpack everything. She decided to perch down on the coffee table to face her family, they may as well all take a little break before busying themselves tidying this stuff up.
"So what are we doing for your birthday?" Maddie ran her hands up and down her thighs while she grinned knowingly at her little brother.
He was turning twenty-six next week and he had yet to say what he wanted to do and what their plans were. At least Maddie already had his present sorted. She had conferred with (Y/n) over a month ago so they both got some personalised gifts sorted for him.
"Eddie's organised to go to a few bars the day after my birthday, so that'll be fun."
Eddie already knew that Evan would want to be with (Y/n) on his actual birthday and when he asked (Y/n) if she would mind him stealing her husband the next day, she happily agreed. So Evan was going to be trolled around all the bars in town with the team.
"Can we do a party?"
"No." Evan's reply was instant and the way he rose a brow caused Maddie to frown deeply at him.
He didn't want a party. Evan couldn't remember the last time he had a good birthday party- well, he could, but that was because it had been the only proper party he had. When he was twenty one he had a party organised by his friends from college, it had been the first time in his life where his birthday was properly celebrated.
And not just with a loving present and a cake from Maddie because their parents were always too plagued by memories to celebrate Evan's birthday. He got used to not celebrating his birthday and just relishing in Maddie celebrating his day with him. It wasn't until he got together with (Y/n) that he really began going out for a meal or drinks and he felt happier celebrating the event that had never been special in his household growing up.
But he was going to make sure that things were different for his baby. Evan wasn't going to make his kids feel like they weren't loved or special or cherished on any day of their lives. And their birthdays were always going to be celebrated and made into a loving event. Evan wanted his kids to have a happy childhood, the opposite of what he had growing up.
"Why not?"
Evan glanced his eyes between his sister who looked genuinely dismayed, and his wife who looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep.
"Because twenty-six isn't a special number, Mads. Besides, I don't want one." Parties were all well and good if they were celebrating someone else, but Evan never knew what to do if he was in the spotlight.
"Well every birthday party after this year will have to be child friendly." (Y/n) muttered softly into his leg.
She had been very happy Eddie suggested taking Evan out the day after his birthday to go round all the bars. Because after this year, all their birthdays would be spent with their baby. So parties after this year would need to be refined and controlled because their baby would be with them.
"Just the way I want it." Leaning down, Evan pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head and weaved his arm around her waist so he was moulded around her.
"Okay, so if we're not doing a party, can we at least go out for a meal? Maybe just the four of us." Maddie still wanted to do something to celebrate Evan's birthday, they always did something. Whether it was going bowling, going out for drinks or a meal or just watching a movie together, they had to celebrate somehow.
"Five of us." Evan muttered quietly whilst moving his hand round to cradle (Y/n)'s stomach. But when Maddie rolled her eyes and nodded, he grinned. "Sure, that sounds good."
***
"Baby…" Evan's tone, although sugary sweet and melodic, was laced with sleep and had a gritty edge that gave away he had been soundly sleeping just a few minutes ago.
(Y/n) hummed, unsure who he was talking to considering he had his face meshed up into her side with one arm slung around her waist, cradling her bump. She often thought Evan was talking to her, only to find out he was having a different, endearing conversation with their baby.
He nudged his head back on the pillow and cracked an eye open to look up at (Y/n), considering he was laid down and she was sitting up. Propped up by a mountain of pillows in a vain attempt to make herself comfy.
"What're you eating?" Evan tried his best to open his eyes properly and look up at his wife.
He wasn't sure what time it was, but he judged from the dreary look in (Y/n)'s eyes and the tiredness written across her face that it was late. He had been at work today and he hadn't gotten a single chance to sit down, so the moment he climbed into bed, Evan had gone out like a light. He didn't know how long he had slept for, but he could just feel that it was late.
He didn't know what woke him or how long he had been dozing in and out of sleep, but he could suddenly hear (Y/n) eating something. It didn't bother him, once Evan was asleep he could sleep through a tornado. But he was curious to know what exactly she was munching away on that sounded so crunchy. To Evan, it sounded like she was crunching on broken glass.
(Y/n) paused, sucking her lower lip between her teeth as she glanced down to her right where Evan was looking up at her through tired, squinted eyes.
She could feel an apologetic smile pulling on her lips as she tilted the plastic bowl down so Evan could see what she had gotten as a snack. But when he couldn't seem to figure out what it was, (Y/n) popped one into her mouth and leaned down to kiss his temple.
She felt the way Evan sucked in a sharp breath and jerked against her when her cold lips touched his forehead and she pressed the cube of ice against his temple as if she wanted to give him brain freeze.
"Ice?" He murmured into her chest, confusion laced in his tone while he twisted to push himself up on his left elbow so he could be level with her.
"Want some?" She was only joking, she knew for a fact Evan wasn't going to dive into the bowl of crushed ice she had been eating for a while now. But (Y/n) loved the dazed look on his face and the quirky smile that pulled at his lips.
"Why are you crunching on ice, baby? There's ice cream in the freezer, and I'm pretty sure there's doritos in the cupboard." Evan took another glance in the bowl she had resting comfortably on top of her bump before he leaned up and captured her lips in a kiss.
Out of all the things she could eat, Evan found it bizarre to find her eating ice. It didn't exactly have any flavour like an ice pop, and Evan had gone to the shops yesterday for a few bits. He specifically remembered picking up ice cream, and he knew (Y/n) had been fixated on doritos for the last week or two so he stocked up on those too. There were much better things to be eating in the house than just plain ice.
"Ask your child. They are craving ice cubes, not ice cream." (Y/n) popped another cube into her mouth while she dropped her head back into the mountain of pillows.
She had seen the ice cream in the freezer, but it didn't take her fancy. For some unknown reason, she was craving ice. The sensation made her ears pop with every crunch and her mouth had gone numb from the temperature, but she was fixated and just kept crunching away on the cubes.
At least it kept her hydrated.
"My baby's crazy." Evan mumbled with a cheeky grin and he leaned over to press a kiss to (Y/n)'s stomach before he hooked his arm back over her waist. But just as he went to lay down, his eyes caught sight of the clock on the side table. "It's late, baby, aren't you tired?"
He didn't want to say she looked tired, he dared not say that, it wouldn't be the kindest thing to say to his pregnant wife. But she did look exhausted and it was past midnight.
"My back kills, and the baby won't settle so I can't sleep."
She wanted to. (Y/n) was desperate to lie down and go to sleep, but her back was twinging every few seconds and it didn't get any better when she tried to lie down. Then when she had laid down earlier, the baby kicked up a storm and started wriggling around, making it impossible for (Y/n) to manage any sleep. She thought she may as well stay up and try to watch a tv show if the baby was going to insist on keeping her up.
"Lie down sweetheart, I'll tell them to sleep." Evan waited for (Y/n) to turn the tv off and try to shuffle around to get comfy before he dared to close his eyes. He let her wriggle back into him and he draped his arm back around her waist, tucking his face into the crook of her neck.
He could feel her knees pulling up against her bump and she shimmied around a few times, clearly trying to lay in a position that didn't make her back twinge or disturb the baby. He attached his lips to her neck while his hand slipped beneath her top and his fingers danced across her lower abdomen, drawing aimless patterns and nonsense words to try and calm both her and the baby.
(Y/n) was sure she felt Evan whisper "It's time for bed," while his hand roamed her bump and she shuffled back into him. Snuggling into his chest that was like a radiator giving off waves of heat.
Hopefully the baby would listen to him.
"Hey baby, Mads wants to know where we wanna go for dinner, what'd you think?" Evan ran the towel over the back of his head to dry off his hair which was already turning crimped, he could feel it.
His bare feet thumped against the stairs with enough force to make echoes vibrate around the house. If he were feeling more alive and awake he would have walked with a bit more spring in his step and less sluggish movements, but he was tired. He shouldn't have picked up the extra shifts this week, but whenever Bobby asked him, Evan didn't have the heart to say no.
That shift yesterday had drained all his energy, and when (Y/n) couldn't sleep, Evan tried to stay awake with her. He didn't like the thought of going to sleep and leaving her awake in discomfort on her own.
Once he was downstairs, Evan headed into the living room and made a beeline for the sofa where he could see (Y/n).
"Where do you fancy going?" He tossed his phone onto the coffee table and moved to plonk down next to her.
His birthday was three days away, but Maddie wanted to get a table booked in advance for wherever Evan and (Y/n) decided they wanted to go for dinner. They had said that Evan and (Y/n) would go and do something together in the morning, and then all of them would eat together late on in the afternoon. And then Evan would be roaming round the bars with Eddie and the rest of the team the next day.
Evan was glad Bobby had given him five days off in a row to have his birthday with (Y/n) and then some time to recover the drinking escapade they would be going on.
When Evan leaned his head back on the sofa and looked to his right, he felt a wave of dread washing over him.
(Y/n) had one of the cushions pinned into her chest with one arm strapped over it like a barrier while her other hand was pressed against her mouth so she could bite down on her nails. But it was the tears beginning to trace down her cheeks which made Evan's heart sky rocket in his chest.
He sat up straight and leaned over towards her, moving his hand to gently rest on her thigh while his other hand moved towards her face. He carefully swiped his thumb over her cheek to dry away the tears and he turned her head so she was looking at him.
"Hey, hey what's the matter sweetheart?" He continued to trace his thumb over her cheek while he gauged her face to try and see what was wrong. "Did we run out of ice?" He tried to joke when (Y/n) didn't answer, but she wasn't in floods of tears which made him think that this wasn't a horrible or dire situation, thank God.
(Y/n) sniffed, trying her best to stop the tears but she couldn't seem to help it and more trickled down her face like a leaky tap.
She pinned the cushion tighter to her chest while she inched to the left and leaned over until she could pull out of Evan's grasp and lean her head on his shoulder instead. She nuzzled her nose into his neck while she felt his arm weave around the back of her shoulders to keep her tucked safely into his side.
"What's up?" He murmured softly into her hair while he glided his hand up and down her arm.
He waited patiently, but his brows lifted in surprise when (Y/n) let go of the cushion and instead grabbed his free hand that was still curled around her thigh. She pulled on his hand until she could press his palm rather forcefully into the underside of her abdomen. He could feel the way she was twitching and shifting in her seat every few seconds, but he couldn't exactly feel the baby kicking.
"Evan, it- oow, it hurts." (Y/n) felt the way he tensed up when her words registered in his ears. "I think it might be contractions."
She wasn't sure, but (Y/n) was rather positive that this was the beginning of labour. Heck, last night's discomfort and unease might have been the actual start, and now the odd pains she was getting every now and then could possibly be contractions happening.
She was almost thirty-eight weeks along, so labour was possible at any time now, but this was so close to Evan's birthday. His birthday was in three days time, and now (Y/n) had gone and ruined all the plans they had made.
"I- I'm sorry," (Y/n) closed her eyes and burrowed her face more into his neck until she felt him leaning back to try and look down at her.
"Sweetheart, what are you sorry for?" The lighthearted tone in Evan's voice took (Y/n) by surprise and when she gingerly lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him, she found a bewildered smile playing on his lips.
"You- your birthday, we had plans. I've spoiled them all."
When her lower lip started to wobble, a quiet sound passed Evan's lips and he leaned down to give her a soft kiss. He traced his thumb along her jawline while his other hand stayed lovingly on her stomach. The panic in her voice made his heart break, but the nervousness surrounding her made Evan fall in love with her all over again.
"Oh baby," He murmured quietly as he grinned against her mouth and kissed her again. "You really think I'd be unhappy about this? I'll get to spend my birthday with my baby, this is great."
The excitement in Evan's voice made (Y/n)'s heart skip a beat and she found herself smiling through her tears.
She thought this would be a bad thing. They had plans, they were supposed to be going out for a family meal together with Maddie and Chimney. They had planned to go out and spend the morning together. Evan was meant to be going out for drinks with the team and having a break and some fun away from work and stress.
Having their baby now wasn't something (Y/n) had planned for and she didn't want to have them yet. She wanted to spend Evan's birthday and the days leading up to it trying to spoil him and show him how loved he was. She didn't want to take the attention away from his birthday by going into labour now.
His parents had taken the attention off of him all of his life, (Y/n) didn't want to do it to him now.
"If my birthday is me sitting in a hospital chair next to you, cradling our baby, then that's the best birthday I'll of ever had."
Evan would happily ring Maddie and explain that they might have to postpone their dinner to next week. He would gladly ring Eddie and say that a night out would have to wait a month or two and he would call Bobby and say he needed to have his three weeks off now for being home with his new baby.
If Evan ended up on his birthday, sat in a hospital room with his family, cradling the most precious life in his arms, then he would be the happiest person in the world. He couldn't think of a better way to spend his birthday than being with (Y/n) and their baby and showing off that he was now a dad.
"Really?" Her voice wavered but her smile looked radiant to Evan and he leaned his chest down into hers to steal a deeper kiss.
"Really. Now let me go find the hospital bag and ring Maddie to tell her the good news."
***
*Any news yet?? xx *Not yet, shouldn't be too much longer. xx
Evan slid his phone back onto the little table beside the bed before he shuffled closer on the edge of the chair so he could reach over for (Y/n)'s hand. He tangled their fingers together while his free hand slowly began to card through (Y/n)'s hair. He brushed her hair away from her face and ran his fingers through the back of her hair in rhythmic strokes.
The only person who knew (Y/n) was in labour was Maddie. Evan had rang her to let her know that (Y/n) had gone into labour and they would have to cancel his birthday dinner. But he thought it better to wait until after the birth to tell the team. He couldn't wait to ring and announce that his baby had finally arrived, the suspense and shock would make it better.
Maddie was a little eager to know whether she had a niece or nephew and had been texting every now and then to see how things were going.
Evan felt bad. (Y/n) had been in labour for two days but it felt like two weeks had passed. This last hour had finally given them some hope because the contractions were almost constant, giving them a bit of hope that they might finally have their baby now.
He brought (Y/n)'s hand up to his lips so he could kiss the back of her hand. His eyes raked up and down her frame, watching the way she winced and coiled her knees up tighter to her stomach. She was laid on her side with her right arm tucked beneath the pillow and her other, trembling hand in Evan's grip.
"Alright you two, shall we take another look?" Their midwife, Moira, peeked her head around the door and wore a tender smile.
She had been feeling very sympathetic for them both when, every time she came to check on them and see how dilated (Y/n) was, she had to tell them they weren't ready yet. At one point, (Y/n) had started crying.
(Y/n) croaked out a quiet "Oh God," when another contraction splintered through her muscles.
She gave a weak tug on Evan's hand and she tried in vain to smile when he helped her carefully twist onto her back rather than her side. She lifted her arm from beneath the pillow and slumped it over her eyes to block out the light while her other hand pulled Evan's hand to rest his arm across her chest.
"Okay, I think your wait is finally over. Let's have this baby."
Evan kissed the back of (Y/n)'s hand when a smile lit up her face and he could almost feel the relief radiating off of her in waves.
It felt strange to have a monitor on her stomach, but (Y/n) rather liked the soft sound of the baby's heartbeat lulling in the background. She could hear Moira milling about the room, presumably getting everything set up and ready while they waited for another contraction so they could begin the last part of the process.
"Can I stay lying down?" (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and Evan could feel his heart igniting at the tender look on her face as if she thought the midwife might conduct her to move and become uncomfortable.
"You lay however you like, whatever works for you."
When she tugged on Evan's hand, he took the hint and stood up so he could move to sit on the edge of the bed. He rested their entwined hands on his thigh while his other hand roamed along the side of her stomach and moved about like he had too much nervous energy.
Neither of them had gotten much sleep over the last few days, but they weren't tired. Evan had panicked about an hour ago when (Y/n) got a sudden burst of adrenaline that had her trembling like she was being shocked. But he calmed down a little when the nurses assured him it was normal.
Evan turned his head back to look at the midwife when (Y/n)’s hand tightened around his own signalling she was having another contraction. He cringed when (Y/n) started pushing and her groan rebounded through his ears and made a shiver run down his spine. And he could feel her shaking and trembling which rocked into him and had shivers coursing through his blood.
"Here we go," He murmured quietly, going back to carding his fingers through her hair because he could see the motion seemed to calm her down quite a lot. And he watched as she dropped her arm from over her eyes to scrunch around the bed sheet, giving herself something to cling to and ground herself with.
"Okay, head's born now, well done."
Something akin to a smile fluttered on (Y/n)'s lips when she felt Evan move as soon as the midwife spoke. He kept hold of her hand and his other hand moved to her shoulder but he leaned down to look at their baby.
Evan had delivered a few babies over the years of being a fireman and nothing really shocked him anymore. But this was different. That was his own little baby that was coming into the world and there wasn't a sight that would ever match that. Seeing any other woman give birth was never going to make Evan's heart clench or send his stomach rocketing like this.
His baby.
"That's it, push again (Y/n),"
"Almost there, sweetheart." Evan leaned over her to press his lips against her temple that was burning up as if he were trying to kiss flames.
Tears tracked down (Y/n)'s face and she felt like she was on fire when she heard the midwife say that the shoulders were born. Then the arms. Finally, it would be over soon. Their baby would be in their arms in no time. All the waiting and the hours of agony with no end in sight were behind them now.
(Y/n) felt like she was being electrocuted and as if her legs had been burned off at the thighs when she heard a sudden cry. Her body started to shake and she couldn't hear whatever Evan said even though she could feel his lips moving against her temple and his voice vibrated against her skin.
The feeling of Evan's fingers raking through her hair seemed to ground (Y/n) and gave her something to focus on when she finally heard Moira telling her it was all over. The baby was born. She had done it.
"Does dad want to cut the cord?"
(Y/n) patted Evan's arm and gave him a little nudge, nodding in reassurance that she would be fine if he let her go. She felt him press a sloppy kiss to her temple before he reeled up and shuffled down towards the end of the bed.
His fingers briefly skimmed across (Y/n)'s ankle and up the back of her leg before he took the medical scissors from the midwife and tried to stop himself from shaking. She held the cord up where she had clamped it off and Evan cut it just like he had done at least three times before when he was on shift. But this was so much more exciting, this was his little baby.
"You have little boy."
A grin broke out on (Y/n)'s tear-stained face and her arms moved up to curl shakily around her baby when the newborn was placed down carefully over her chest. She brushed her finger across his head, feeling the tiny wisps of sandy hair that matched Evan's.
She could feel her cheeks hurting from how wide she was smiling and she barely managed to tear her eyes away from her baby boy to look up at Evan when he shuffled back up next to her. A quiet hum left her lips when she realised Evan had shed a few tears and his eyes had reddened.
He cradled the back of their son's head, brushing his thumb up and down his temple while he leaned down to peck (Y/n)'s forehead.
"Shall I spruce him up for you, then the proud dad can have a hold?"
(Y/n) nodded and let Moira carefully ease the newborn from her chest to get him cleaned up and swaddled in a blanket.
Her eyes lifted to look back at Evan when he cupped her cheek and leaned down to press a searing kiss to her lips that stole the little air she had left in her lungs. She could feel him smiling against her mouth, unable to stop himself and he traced his teeth along her lower lip before finally pulling up for air.
"He's perfect." Evan could already imagine the phone calls he would be making in a while to everyone. He would be proudly telling them all he had a beautiful little boy and he knew Maddie would be down here as soon as Evan called her.
"He is… can you help me up?" When Evan obliged and looped her arms around his neck, (Y/n) smothered her face into his shoulder and pressed a few, tender kisses to his exposed skin. She smiled into him when he helped her sit up before he pressed the button to tilt the bed up so she wasn't lying down anymore.
They stayed like that for a few moments, tangled together in a hug that was making (Y/n) tired now that all her energy had been used up. But Evan finally pulled back and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek when Moira came back over to them.
"And here's your little charmer, born at three-eighteen in the morning."
She eased James down into Evan's waiting arms and he almost jumped up from the bed when a jolt of excitement shot through him. This was his boy. This was his little baby, his first born. He had a son, and he was perfect with a tiny button nose and little pale lips that were curved into a heart-shaped pout.
"Oh, God."
"What?" Evan bounced his arms up and down, carefully rocking the newborn while he looked down at (Y/n).
She looked like a light bulb had just sparked above her head and for a moment he thought something was wrong. Until her lips melted into a smile that made his heart burst and had his brows raising in happy confusion.
"Happy birthday, baby."
Her hand cupped the side of Evan's face and she gently pulled him down to her so she could press a sweet kiss to his wet lips.
It was now morning. Neither of them had been taking a close look at the date or time and the last six or seven hours had gone by in a flash. The last time (Y/n) heard the time, it had been roughly nine at night. If it was now morning, that meant that their baby boy had technically been born on Evan's birthday.
He shared his birthday with his son.
When (Y/n) released him from a kiss, Evan made sure their boy was cradled in the crook of his left arm before he reached out for his phone on the side table.
Huh. It actually was his birthday. Time had become scrambled ever since they turned up at the hospital. Evan had been expecting their baby to be born the day before his birthday. Technically, he thought (Y/n) would of given birth two days before his birthday, he didn't think she would spend almost three days in labour like she had.
How immensely beautiful that labour had lasted long enough to allow Evan to share a birthday with his baby boy. It was as if the universe knew that Evan had never thought of his birthday as a special day and had now given him a purpose to celebrate the day like he should.
"Oh, don't tell me father and son now share a birthday? What perfect timing." Moira placed a gentle hand on Evan's shoulder and smiled at him sweetly while she looked down at the little boy in his arms. Clearly this didn't happen too often on her shifts.
"This is the best gift I've ever gotten." Evan murmured quietly and raised his arms up so he could delicately kiss his son's temple.
***
"Buck?"
"Hey Eddie," A quiet, breathless laugh followed Evan's words while he reclined back in his chair and stared down at the best birthday gift he had ever been given.
His eyes delicately cast over to (Y/n) who was laid on her side, head burrowed down into the pillow and her body curled up like she was a little fox in a burrow. She had finally managed to fall asleep and while she was resting, Evan had begun the phone calls. He had spent the last twenty minutes on the phone to his sister, telling her everything from how long it had taken to what colour hair his boy now had.
Now Evan was spending some precious moments with his boy, and he knew it was far too early in the morning to be ringing anyone but Maddie. She gave him permission to call at any time day or night to let her know the outcome and if everything was okay.
Evan knew he shouldn't be ringing Eddie at this time in the morning, but he was too happy to contain his excitement and he just wanted to ring round and tell everyone.
"Listen, I know it's now your birthday and all, so happy birthday. But did you seriously wake me at four in the morning for that?"
The gruff tone in Eddie's voice gave away that he wasn't happy about an early morning call. He could gather by Evan's voice that this wasn't a panicked situation or anything bad, which was good, but Eddie didn't like to be woken up early.
"You'll never guess the present (Y/n) just gave me."
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celestialprincesse · 11 months ago
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John Price's secretary 💌
John was adamant that he was fine working alone - desperate to convince Laswell that he didn't need help with the mounting paperwork and mission reports piling up on his desk. The last thing he needed was some airhead flitting around base and getting in everyone's way with the sole purpose of lessening his workload. He was a captain, should've been able to file his own paperwork just like the rest of his men.
That's why on your first day, he was no less than brusque with you. You who strode into his office with a polite smile and a practised firm handshake, introducing yourself to him with the obvious statement of your name and position. He couldn't help but immediately think to himself how lovely you were, how out of place the radiance of your smile was in such a dark place as this. His introduction was as gruff as yours was gentle, listing off your duties to you like you didn't already know what they were, a tablet already in hand as you took note of any extra information provided to you with a stiff reluctance, nails tapping away at the screen before you, his calendar already jotted meticulously down to the hour.
"Anything you want me to prioritise?" You chirped warmly, ignoring the way his eyes had already returned somewhat dismissively back to the screen of his desktop. In a way, though, you were almost relieved he wasn't looking at your expression, wasn't looking to see the way your eyes went wide when he pointed at the box of unfilled paperwork stored messily in manila files, dumped on the floor beside his desk, piled so high they leaned. You were sure that even one more piece of A4 thrown on the pile would have the whole thing come tumbling down like depressing corporate Jenga.
The paperwork had you drowning until lunch, heel tapping rhythmically against the linoleum as you stamped off and filed, stamped off and filed, hours crawling by at a snails pace whilst your desk became increasingly cramped for space. The paper overrunning your desk also occupied your mind so much that you didn't notice the tall shadow of John Price looming over you until he cleared his throat, making you jump with a squeaked out "Oh!" and a hand clutching at your chest in surprise.
"Didn't mean to startle you." He rumbled lowly, his warm, apologetic tone making you blush, unintentionally fluttering your eyelashes up at him, an action which causes him to inadvertently ball his fist, trying to hide the appreciative glaze settling over his baby blues. "You haven't eaten." His voice came out softer, trying not to startle you again.
"No. I guess not." You muttered softly in response, torn halfway between staring back up at him and shying away from the intensity of his gaze. "S'pose I got too caught up in all of this." A hand indicating to the paperwork drowning your desk made him chuff out something which sounded pleasantly like a laugh.
"Would you like some lunch?" Had you nodding emphatically in response, not even realising how hungry you'd become in your intense focus.
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
The next few months were much the same, paperwork lumped on your desk, working until John came and offered you to join him for lunch. With every meal shared you learned more about him, and with every guiding hand he placed on the small of your back when he walked you to the mess hall, you grew more - appreciative? Your guilty little work crush grew harder to suppress.
It was hard not to be into John Price, with his gruff demeanour and contradictorily soft eyes and gentle hands, you couldn't help it. He was a good, kind man, so different from the others who haunted your past - a fact which you struggled to forget when he'd walk you to your car after working late, occasionally even bringing you coffees on early mornings.
".. You with me?" His voice snaps you from your reverie, his fingers drumming on the wood of your desk, one eyebrow raised in intrigue.
"Sorry?" You murmur in confusion.
"Said I've got a work dinner tonight with some important people. Need you to come along, take some notes for me."
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
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The Prince - Chapter Four
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A/N: Hello friends! This chapter is one of my favorites, full of angst and longing (my favorite things to write). I got to write from Rhaenyra's perspective, too, which was a new challenge. Please let me know what you think and if you'd like to be tagged! Thank you for all your support of my writing! It's been so long since I've been invested in a story and part of that is due to your encouragements. <3
Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader Word Count: 3.8k Synopsis: Things come to a head, as a tense argument breaks out in the Dragonpit. Jace reaches out to his mother for help.
Tag List: @rinisfruity14, @gaiaea, @rexorangecounty
Previous Chapter - Next Chapter
The next few days pass in a blur. Jace is embarrassed; you rejected him. But more than anything he is frustrated. You didn’t reject him because you don’t share the same feelings, you did so because there is not a chance for the two of you to be together. Jace can’t change the fact that he is a prince, and even if he wasn’t betrothed to Baela, you are still titleless.
The truth of what you said in the gardens settles within him. So few got to marry for love. But his intentions have still not changed. He will keep fighting for you, he will find a way to change the current situation.
He spends the next few days staying away from you, shielding his pride, and coming up with a plan.
When he arrives at his mother’s door, a few nights after the garden, he doesn’t even realize he has come there, until he is knocking on the door. He is let in right away, and he finds his mother dining alone, smiling at something Elinda says.
“Mother,” he says. He cannot remember the last time he came to his mother’s chambers like this, upset and unexpected. His mother looks up with a smile, at the sound of his voice, but it falls when she sees his face.
“Jace?” she asks, standing up, “What is it?”
“I request an audience with the queen,” he says, straightening his spine, hoping to emphasize the severity of his arrival. A hesitant smile breaks across his mother’s face, and she lets out a chuckle.
“What is this?” she asks.
“Please,” he says. Something in her face changes at his look. She gives a curt nod to the maids, and they scurry out of the room. Once they are gone, Rhaenyra leans against her dining table, looking at him with curious eyes.
“You have the floor, Jace,” she says. He takes a breath, giving himself one second before he throws his entire life into disarray.
“I want to end my betrothal with Baela,” he says.
Rhaeynra knows Jace completely. He is part of her, after all. Her first son, her rock in so many ways during the war. But sitting at the head of her table the next day, watching her son speak with Baela, she is seeing someone new.
Jace has had a hard life. He’s seen so much heartbreak – chief among them, the loss of his brother. But through it all, he has always been a prince. Strong when he needs to be, with a kind heart, and a devotion to duty. She has never known him to bock at responsibility, in fact, he often seeks out more. He is the example of a perfect prince, a perfect son.
She chides herself for not realizing sooner that something has changed with him.
She remembers vividly the day he came back from the North, so many years ago. Just that short trip had made him grow up so much. She had foolishly assumed it was only due to the loss of his brother, that had flung him into adulthood. But he had grown on that trip, excelled with the lords and ladies he met with, brokered deals for her, and apparently, had fallen in love.
There were thralls of guests at her table, but Rhaenyra didn’t pay them any mind. She barely even looked at Daemon next to her, or Joffrey on her right. All night, her eyes were on Jace, and his were on you.
Rhaenyra didn’t know much about you. You arrived in King’s Landing about two months back. When Jeyne Arryn had requested you to take ward here, Rhaenyra had thought little of it, so entrenched in the war. Even when you had arrived, she didn’t think much of it. There were so many faces coming and going in the Red Keep, you were just another one, albeit a beautiful one.
She knew that you were close with her younger boys, and Rhanea, too. She had seen Jace spending time with you, but she hadn’t noticed his feelings. She sees them now, though.
You are a beacon for Jace. Every move you make, whether it’s to laugh at your tablemates, or simply flicking your long hair over your shoulder, Jace’s eyes follow. And to Rhaenyra’s surprise, your eyes search for him just as often. A few times, your gazes collide, and a blush forms on your cheeks.
She thinks back to Jace’s words in her chambers. She had been completely blindsided. They had grown apart, now that he was older, and the war was over. They had begun to explore separate paths. But she thinks, even if they had been as close as they used to be, she still might have missedthe change.
“I want to end my betrothal to Baela,” he says. Rhaenyra looks at him, speechlessly, shaking her head to make sure she heard him correctly.
“What?” she asks.
“I want to end my betrothal.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“I have fallen in love,” he answers. She studies his face, as if she hasn’t seen him until now.
“With whom?” she asks quietly.
“Y/N Arryn.”
She believes him now. She had been worried, when he told her, that he was being compelled by lust. But watching him now, it was true love in his eyes. And beneath that, lay a sadness she knew all too well.
Rhaenyra wants him to have everything. He deserves everything. But he is a prince, and he has a duty to his country to marry well and produce noble heirs.
If it had been another highborn lady he was betrothed to, the choice might have been easier. But this was Baela. Rhaenyra loves her, and she knows Jace does, too. Just – not in the way he feels for you.
“What would we tell Baela?” she asks.
“I- I don’t know,” he says, shaking his head. “But it’s killing me, not to be with Y/N.” Rhaenyra frowns at her son, cupping his cheek gently with her hand.
“I made a promise to Rhaenys years ago, that I would wed our families together.”
“I know,” Jace says, his voice hollow.
She searchs his face for a long moment. She wants to tell him no. There is no way it would work out, but he had already seen so much heartbreak in his life. And she knew the pain of an arranged marriage.
So, she hadn’t told him no. She told him she had to think about it. But she saw, it wasn’t going to be an easy answer, either way.
The next morning, Jace finds you reading in a corner of the castle, alone. It is the first morning you’ve spent in so long without Rhaena at your side, talking over suitors, or meeting with those suitors themselves.
Seeing Jace, at first, makes you blush, remembering the night in the garden. But then you settle when you realize how much you’ve missed him. He has become one of your closest friends here, regardless of the feelings you have grown for him, and not seeing him the last few days had hurt.
“Good morning, My Prince,” you say as he sits across from you.
“No one is here,” he says with a frown, “You can call me Jace.”
“Why are you up so early, Jace?” you ask. He gives you a soft smile and sighs, hopefully letting out the tension in his shoulders.
“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I might see Vermax, go for a ride,” he says.
“Is it tiring to ride a dragon?” you ask.
“It can be, I suppose. Although Vermax is gentle, when he wants to be.” His eyes flick to yours, and for some reason, you get the sense you aren’t just talking about his dragon anymore.
“It’s hard to imagine a creature of that size being gentle,” you say, closing your book.
“You should come see for yourself,” he says simply.
“What?”
“Come with me to the dragon pit. I’m sure Vermax would love to meet you,” he says with a smile.
“I don’t desire being burnt alive,” you say quietly, leaning in conspiratorially. Jace laughs softly, the dimple in his cheek prominent.
“Vermax would never hurt you if you’re with me,” he says. “I promise.”
“Well, I did come to King’s Landing to further my education. Feels wrong to come all this way and not see its dragons up close.”
The entire walk down to the pit, you are anxious. Your heart thuds and your breathing is shallow. You are starting to regret your agreement in coming down when Jace grabs your hand for one second and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“You’re safe, Y/N,” he says as he guides you into the entrance of the Dragonpit. The look in his eyes makes it easier to believe him.
The pit is dark, even at the first light of morning. The temperature is at least ten degrees warmer, and there are sounds you can’t begin to distinguish coming from somewhere deep. Jace leads you to a long platform that looks over a slope. Glancing down at it, you see the tread of giant clawed feet. You take in a quivering breath as Jace greets one of the dragon handlers and requests that Vermax be brought out.
“Doing alright?” he asks, coming to your side.
“Yes,” you say, in an unconvincing manner.
“Vermax is on the smaller size,” he says lowly, “Although I wouldn’t repeat that to him.”
“Even small dragons are massive,” you say. Jace looks at you with a smile, opening his mouth to say something, when you hear a sound coming from the dark entrance to the pit. You move behind Jace out of instinct, as a very large green dragon walks towards you. Jace laughs to himself.
“You’re alright,” he says softly as the beast comes to a stop. Vermax turns his attention to Jace and lets out a breath of steam. You grasp onto Jace’s shoulders, momentarily terrified.
“Hello to you, too,” Jace says with a laugh. You sigh when you realize the steam must have been a sign of affection.
Vermax moves his massive head closer to the two of you, close enough that Jace can pat his snout. You want to shrink behind Jace, want to run, but you know that quick movements around a dragon are not wise.
With his other hand, Jace reaches behind himself, and grabs hold of yours. He doesn’t let it go.
“Do you want to say hello?” he asks, and you aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or the dragon. Vermax’s eyes look to you then, and a shiver of fear races over you. “I promise, he’s scarier than he looks.” Vermax chuffs in response to Jace.
Slowly, you move to Jace’s side, dropping his hand for only a moment to switch which one you’re holding. You give yourself a moment to relax before meeting Vermax’s eyeline.
“Okay, now slowly raise out your hand,” he says. You do as he says, your limb shaking at the movement. Vermax’s snout, which is a good five times larger than your hand, sniffs at the palm. You wait with bated breath, until he nudges against it, and lets you rest your hand on him. You let out a sigh, relaxing as Jace smiles.
Now that you’re this close and settled, you realize that Vermax isn’t entirely green. There are spikes of orange-red that run down his neck. The contrast is striking.
“Oh,” you say with a sigh, “He is beautiful.”
“I’m in love with you,” Jace says in response. You whip your head to him so quickly, something in Vermax’s demeanor changes. Jace tenses and puts out a hand to the creature, at the same moment, pulling you back a step. It’s only a second, and then Vermax eases. Jace turns back to you and reads your wide, sad eyes.
“Whatever you’re going to say,” he says, “Don’t. It’s going to hurt me, and Vermax won’t like that.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you say, whisper soft. Jace shrugs.
“I don’t either.”
“We talked about this in the garden, it’s not something—” You stop when Vermax shifts again. Another breath of steam washes over the two of you, but this one somehow feels warmer, deadlier. Jace sweeps you behind him, holding you close to his back.
“Y/N is our friend,” he says to the beast, his words firm. “Our friend,” he says, and this time, chances a glance back at you at the word, friend.
“Maybe I should go,” you say. You realize you are still holding onto him, and then how much you don’t want to let go.
“He’ll settle,” Jace says, his hand covering yours, resting on his shoulder.
“Yes, but will I?” you ask, making him let out a tut of laughter.
“Alright. I’ll be back in a moment,” he says to Vermax. The dragon trills in response. Jace takes your hand and guides you back towards the Keep. “Don’t worry, everyone feels like this when they meet a dragon for the first time.”
“He really is beautiful,” you say, “In the most terrifying way possible.”
“Vermax is well tempered,” he says, “Be grateful you never saw Vhagar.”
“The stories were horrifying enough,” you say as you come to a stop outside the door to the castle. Your hand is still in Jace’s, the Dragonpit far behind you. You drop it, trying to do so indiscreetly, but Jace notices the absence and sighs.
“You were going to kiss me, you know. Back in your chambers,” he says. You stutter over a response, shaking your head in disbelief.
“There was one moment, yes,” you say, “But then I came to my senses.”
“No, Brigitta walked in,” he says, stepping closer to you. “That’s why you didn’t. And now, you can't even hold my hand.” He gestures around the empty space. “No one else is here!” he shouts. Below, Vermax calls out in response.
“You don’t get it,” you say softly, trying to keep your frustrations at bay.
“What don’t I get?” he asks.
“Do you know what I risk, just being alone with you? You are our crown prince, Jace, there is very little you can do to damage your reputation. If one person gets the wrong impression about us, if we give in to this feeling—” You stop when he moves closer still, his eyes alighting. 
“I would be ruined,” you say. “It wouldn’t matter that you are the prince. I would be tainted goods.” He snarls at the description.
“Y/N,” he starts, but you reach for his hand, stopping him.
“Jace,” you say breathlessly. “I wish there was a way but—”
“What if there was?”
“There’s not.”
“I asked my mother to end my engagement.”
“You what?!” you ask much too loudly, stepping back from him.
“I assumed you’d be pleased,” he says, hurt etched into his features.
“What did she say?”
“She is considering it,” he says. You sigh, leaning against the rocky cave wall. “There are a lot of moving pieces.”
“Of course there are. You and your family just went through so much grief to assure your mother’s claim to the throne. Why risk any of it again?”
“Because I love you,” he says plainly.
“We shouldn’t even be discussing this. We need to forget this; you need to forget me.”
“You act like it is so easy,” he says, approaching you again, “Tell me, have I confused your feelings for my own?”
“No,” you say quietly. “It’s not easy, at all. But what makes it harder is the fact that you keep bringing it up. You keep giving me hope,” you say, meeting his eyes. His are wide and nearly pull you in with the affection you find there.
“But there is hope.”
“Your mother is not going to cut Baela out like that,” you say, “And even if she did, I am no queen.” He looks at you sadly, like he wants to argue.
“You would make a good queen, Y/N,” he says delicately. You scoff. “Don’t you think I’ll be a good king?” he asks.
“Of course I do.”
“Then you know that I wouldn’t make the wrong woman queen.” He moves closer, taking your hands in his. He studies the way your hands fit into his, before speaking. “But even if my mother doesn’t agree, who is to say we have to be married? That we have to fight our feelings?”
“You’re suggesting I become your whore,” you say, face paling as you pull away from him.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he says, reaching for your hand. You stay just out of his reach. “You would be taken care of—”
“Think of what you are saying,” you spit, “I would be an outcast. I would be your whore, and Baela your lady wife. Any children I bore you would be bastards. Is that what you want?” you ask. You think there might be tears forming in his eyes.
“Of course not,” he says firmly.
“As much as I wish things could be different, Jace, I just don’t foresee them changing. But you wound me, every time you get my hopes up.”
“You are not the only injured party, Y/N” he says. “What would you have me do?”
“Let me find someone else,” you say quietly. “Let me do what I came here to do and then I’ll be gone.”
“And I’ll just have to watch you with someone else?” he asks in disgust.
“Is that not what you just suggested I do with Baela?” you ask. He groans, gripping the railing along the walkway tightly.
“So, let’s say I agree to let you find someone else.”
“Let me?” you ask incredulously.
“That I stop fighting for you,” he corrects with a roll of his eyes, facing you again. “What if my mother changes her mind?”
“She won’t.”
“What if she does?”
“By then, it won’t matter to you anymore!” you exclaim.
“What?” he asks, brow furrowing.
“These feelings will die, if we let them. You’ve had this crush for so long, you think that our story must end with us together, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”
“Y/N,” he says with a shake of his head.
“Let’s just call this what it is – an attraction that we danced around for too long.”
“Do you think me so foolhardy? That I would confuse lust with love?” he asks, taking your face in his hands, so you can’t turn away from him. “I am not that boy you met in the Vale years ago.”
“I know,” you say, putting your hands around his wrists.
“I have laid with women before.”
“Jace.”
“I have even thought I was in love,’ he says. “But never, did I feel anything close to this.” You close your eyes with a sigh, leaning into his palm. His thumb brushes your cheek as he frowns at you. You are speechless. You believe him, want to believe that his hopes can come true, too, but the logical part inside of you is more insistent than your heart.
“I just—” you start, sighing when his face falls. “Jace,” you say smally. He pulls away from you, retreating. “I think we need some time apart, to figure things out.” You are certain there are tears in his eyes now. He bites the inside of his lip and nods.
“I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t be,” he says.
“Jace,” you say, “We have to try.”
“Okay,” he says with a shrug. He looks so broken, you don’t want to leave him there, but you know there is nothing you can say right now to make him whole. You slip out the entrance, and it’s not until you get to your chambers that you let your own tears fall.
You are filled with so much anger. Anger at your father for fucking up your life in the first place. Anger at Lord Yorbert for arranging your initial betrothal. Anger that Lord Blacktyde left you so cautious about your next match. And anger that no matter how much you know you need to stay away from Jace, you can’t seem to.
You think you know the reason why, but you aren’t ready to face it yet.
Jace spends most of the day flying. The fresh air and altitude seem to clear his head a little. The moment in the Dragonpit never fully leaves his mind. He wants to do what you ask, because of the pain on your face, the pain he could practically feel himself.
But he loves you and doesn’t want to be apart from you. He thinks he might go see his mother when he lands, plea to her again. He needs advice at least on how to navigate this next bit.
When he gets to the Dragonpit, though, his mother is already waiting for him. He dismounts and moves hurriedly towards her.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, breathlessly.
“There is trouble in the Iron Islands,” she says. “It seems skirmishes have been breaking out since my ascendence.”
“Ser Tyland?”
“He’s there now, fighting for what he claims is Lannister territory.”
“You want me to go lend our assistance?” he asks. She searches his face, a sad smile on her own.
“It will be dangerous.”
“I assume so,” he jokes, making her laugh to herself. “I’ll be careful,” he adds.
“I know you will.”
“I’ll leave tonight,” he says, “There’s just something I need to do first.” She examines his eyes, like she knows what he has to do, but she doesn’t argue. She just nods and leans in to kiss his forehead.
“Thank you, Jace.”
Night has fallen over the keep, and it is improper for him to go to your chambers this late, but he wants to see you before he goes. He must. The hallway is empty, save for one guard posted at your door.
“Your Highness,” he says, standing up straight. Jace knocks on the door and your maid, Brigitta, comes to answer it a full two minutes later. She does not look surprised to see him.
“Your Highness,” she says in greeting, curtseying as the door shuts behind her.
“I need to speak with Y/N,” he says. The color drains from Brigitta’s face.
“I’m sorry, My Prince, Lady Y/N does not wish to see you,” she says, whisper soft. Embarrassment floods his cheeks at the uncomfortable looks the guard and Brigitta give him. He isn’t sure why he is shocked at this answer, you had said that you needed space.
For one horrible second, he thinks about ignoring your request and ordering his way into the room. But he knows that would just make you angry.
“Very well,” he says with a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Brigitta says again.
“Don’t be. Can I request a favor?”
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nicka-nell · 6 months ago
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Getting interrupted during sexy time
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Pairing: Osamu x, Ushijima x, Iwaizumi x reader
Warning: fluff, slightly nsfw, mdni, 18+
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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You are in Osamu's and Atsumu's apartment. Atsumu is at his training and you are alone with Osamu. 
Due to the construction of his onigiri store, you've hardly had any time to spend together in the last few weeks. So you were all the happier to be finally back in his powerful arms. Even if he smells of paint, sweat and food. 
"Samu, I love you, but you really stink," you say as he holds you tight in his arms and can't help but laugh. 
"Sorry, I should probably go take a shower and then we can watch a movie in bed and..." he grins mischievously at you, watching you raise your eyebrow. You know exactly what he has in mind. And it's definitely not watching a movie in bed. "We could just take a shower together. I'll help you soap up and..." you say playfully and feel Osamu's hands move from your waist down to your legs. He lifts you up without hesitation and walks towards the bathroom. "Your plan sounds much better, baby." 
It's not long before Osamu rips the clothes off your body, takes his off just as quickly and throws them into a corner, just to pull you into the shower. "Shit baby, did I tell you that you're the best for telling us to make sure we had a big floor-level shower when we bought the apartment?" Osamu says between your passionate kisses, before closing the shower curtain and turning on the water. 
Your kisses get wilder and wilder. His hands press you against the cool tiles of the shower when you suddenly hear the door to the bathroom open.
"Oi Samu, m'back. Sorry if I'm disturbing ya, but I have to piss so bad. I must have drunk 2 liters of water during training." Says Atsumu who rushes into the bathroom and opens the toilet lid and starts emptying his bladder. "Oh shiiiit, that's so fuckin' good," Atsumu sighs as you stare wide-eyed and angry at Osamu, who narrows his eyes in frustration. 
"Are ya fuckin' serious, Tsumu? I'm taking a shower!" grumbles Osamu. But Atsumu doesn't seem to care. "So what? Should I pee in our plants or what? We're twins. I've seen yer dick more often as a child than yer sweet wifey." Atsumu replies before pulling his pants back up. 
You hope so much that he just disappears quickly and you can hit Osamu for not locking the door. 
"Gosh.... When you're done, go. For fucks sake just go. Just because we're twins doesn't mean ya have to hold my hand while I shower." Osamu says annoyed. Atsumu however, just sighs and is about to leave before he turns around again. "Then just lock up next time. Oh and... by the way, hi, favorite sister-in-law." You don't have to see it to know that Atsumu is looking towards the shower curtain with a big grin on his silly face before he leaves the bathroom. 
Embarrassed, you slap your hands over your face. "Shit, he's seen the clothes," you say, knowing full well that he'll be teasing you for months. You're probably not even thinking about sex now. 
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Ushijima is not someone who would sleep with you in the wildest or riskiest places. On the opposite, that kind of intimacy takes place in the bedroom. Well, maybe occasionally in the kitchen when he's watching you prepare his food and just looking sexy. 
So it's not really common for the two of you to be caught by anyone. Actually…
It's a normal evening like any other when you walk into the bedroom to Ushijima, who is already in bed. You snuggle under the covers with him and lean against him while he sets his alarm for tomorrow on his cell phone. 
You caress his bare abs, feel yourself wanting more than just to go to sleep and start playing with the waistband of his trunks. 
"Honey, I have to get up early tomorrow," Ushijima interrupts you, putting down his phone and looking at you with his rather monotone gaze, but you recognize a small smile. 
"We don't have to prolong it artificially..." you say playfully and sit down on his pelvis.
Ushijima says nothing more. Instead his hands automatically move to your hips, gripping them tightly while his gaze becomes increasingly hungry. 
He watches you as you take off your top, your bare breasts visible, as you sit on him in just your panties. 
You lift your pelvis, pulling slowly on your panties to pull them down slightly and tease Ushijima a little as he grabs you and switches positions. Now you're lying on your back, Ushijima in front of you before he quickly pulls the panties off your legs. "You said we wouldn't drag it out unnecessarily," he says in a low voice before he takes off his trunks and bends over you. "Do we need lube?" "Hell no, just start." you say greedily. 
Ushijima does as you command and starts thrusting into you, lifting your pelvis slightly upwards and looking deep into your eyes. "Mhh baby yes." you moan, enjoying this moment when suddenly his cell phone rings next to you on the bedside cabinet. 
You both look at his cell phones briefly. Tendou Satori....
Seriously... now? "Toshi, baby, you can call Satori back later," you say as you feel his thrusts slow down a bit. 
"But what if it's important?" he asks. "If you stop now, that will be the last time we have sex," you say angrily as you pant.
"Then I won't stop... but then try not to be too loud," he says suddenly, leaning forward towards you and moving his hips more aggressively again as he reaches for his cell phone and clicks accept. 
He turns the cell phone to loudspeaker, puts it next to you and buries his head in your neck. 
"Hey, Satori, are you okay?" Ushijima tries to say as neutrally as possible while he's balls-deep inside you. You try to shut down your moans, finding the situation surprisingly arousing. Probably because you've never done anything so 'risky' before. 
"Hahahaha Ushiwaka did you really just answer the phone while you were sleeping with your wife? Ui ui ui you really have a lot to learn. I only know stuff like having sex while talking to someone on the phone from a filthy manga. But well, next time pay attention to whether you're being called by video call or by normal call. Your camera is on." Tendou laughs in his usual crazy way as you both get wide-eyed and look at the phone next to you, which reflects Ushijima's naked upper body. 
Ushijima hastily grabs the cell phone and presses the hang-up button with the words "I'll call you back." 
Sighing, he leans his head against your chest, and while you take it with humor and can't suppress your laughter, Ushijima will certainly never do anything else when you two get intimate. 
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Iwaizumi and you are visiting Oikawa in Argentina with your friends and have booked a two-week vacation. You are all staying in a hotel. Everyone has their own room, but of course you and Iwaizumi share one.
During the first week you have already done a lot with your friends and you have once again realized how annoying Oikawa can sometimes be. He was always teasing you two "lovebirds". Of course, he always meant it sweetly, but today you were happy to be alone with Iwaizumi in your hotel room in the evening and to go to dinner with him in the hotel restaurant. Alone!
Freshly showered, you come out of the bathroom and are about to go to the wardrobe to pick out an outfit for the evening when you can't take your eyes off Iwaizumi. 
Iwaizumi is already an attractive man. But what makes him even more attractive than he already is? Right when he stands in front of the mirror in his suit trousers and a shirt and rolls up his shirt sleeves to show off his muscular forearms. 
"Oh baby, you're playing a dangerous game," you say in a seductive voice as you walk towards him, still with your towel wrapped around you. 
Iwaizumi turns to you, eyeing you with a grin. "I'm playing a dangerous game? Says the one who comes out of the shower looking so sexy," says Iwaizumi, and pulls you close to give you a kiss. 
You push him away with a giggle and look at him sheepishly. "The towel is still slightly wet... you're ruining your clothes," you say, pulling his shirt back into place. 
"You know... we've been traveling all week... what do you say we order the food up here today? Room service? Then we'll have a bit of time to burn off a few... calories beforehand? What do you think?" Iwaizumi whispers in your ear as he pulls you close again and starts kissing your neck. 
How can you say no to this offer? You think to yourself, already feeling the warmth rising to your head. With a pleasant murmur, you agree before moving your hands from his collar to the buttons of his shirt, opening them bit by bit to touch his abs with your fingertips. 
"Let me just order room service. For in an hour?" he asks as he gently starts kissing your neck up to your shoulder blade. He pulls on your towel before it falls to the floor and he pushes you onto the bed behind you. 
"Sounds good." you say, biting your lip as Iwaizumi eyes you hungrily. He takes a deep breath before forcing himself to concentrate on the phone call for just a moment longer. 
While he calls room service and orders dinner, you sit upright on the bed and start undoing the belt of his pants, pulling them down, including his boxer briefs. 
The call is over in seconds when Iwaizumi quickly takes off his open shirt and leans forward, grasping your face with his hands and pushing you back down onto the bed. "Oh baby, you don't know how much I want you right now," he moans with a deep voice. 
You don't want to wait any longer either and wrap your legs around his hips. 
You kiss passionately, his hands caress your body as if you hadn't seen each other for months and it doesn't take long before you give in to your lust completely. 
Iwaizumi knows exactly what you like, how he has to move so that you moan for him in the most beautiful tones and, as expected, it doesn't stop at just one round. 
You're like new lovers who can't keep their hands off each other, while you've already forgotten the number of orgasms or how many rounds this is now. The fourth?
"God baby I love you." moans Iwaizumi, on the verge of cumming, when suddenly someone knocks on the door. You both flinch. Out of breath, you look up at him. 
"It must be room service with the food," you say as your chest heaves up and down, your legs already trembling from all the heights.  "Yes... wait, stay there, I'll take care of it." Iwaizumi says, a little exhausted by now, sweat glistening on his body. He carefully detaches himself from you, gives you another gentle kiss on the forehead before grabbing a bathrobe from the closet and wrapping it around himself before heading for the door. "Coming..." he says, opening the door just a crack to take the food so that the hotel employee doesn't see your naked body lying in bed. 
However, it is not the hotel employee standing in the doorway. It is Oikawa, Matsukawa and Yahaba. Oikawa happily pulls the door open and is about to enter the room with the words "Let's eat together! We've got pizza and drinks!" when the three men see you in bed with and how you quickly try to cover your body with the sheets and before they can say anything, Iwaizumi throws them out of the hotel room and slams the door. "I really don't need your face here right now, Shittykawa! Get out of here!" 
The second week of vacation you all planned together was a mixture of awkward eye contact and teasing from the others. 
A vacation with friends is no longer on your list for a long time. 
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somewhereincairparavel · 2 months ago
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Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.
after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.
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annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.
let's start off with the lost hero
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when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.
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this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.
both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.
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They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.
they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.
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we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.
moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.
jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.
while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.
and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.
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annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.
whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.
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annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.
they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.
fatal flaws:
annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.
and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.
as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.
she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.
and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote
[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]
which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.
jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].
both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.
annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)
they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.
speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.
this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.
I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!
@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms
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edenesth · 3 months ago
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[2:49 AM]
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"Home at last," you murmured, leaning wearily against the door after tossing your keys aside. You let out a sigh, glancing at the time on your phone. You were just now getting home after work—nearly three in the morning.
And you... you needed him, but Seonghwa wasn't here. Last you heard, he was overseas for work. With a heavy sigh, you turned your gaze to the rain-streaked windows. The world outside was drenched, the ground slick with water. You hated it. You loathed it—the rain, the dampness. It felt as if even the gods were weeping over how miserable life seemed right now.
Okay, maybe you were being a bit dramatic, but work had been a nightmare for months. You were so close to that promotion though, so you just had to push through. And you could handle it—life was never easy, after all. But on top of the stress, your growing health issues lately felt like a battle you couldn't win.
Life had been... exhausting lately.
And the one person who could make it all feel better deserved someone who could give him so much more than this. You wondered if he was asleep now, if he was dreaming of you, just as you couldn't stop thinking of him. Or maybe it was better if he wasn't.
Despite your exhaustion, the last thing you wanted was to return to the same empty bed that had been without your boyfriend's presence for so long. Sometimes, you wondered if your relationship had reached that point—where both of you had bigger, more pressing things like careers to focus on, instead of each other.
Before your thoughts could spiral any further, you set your bag down, and your gaze landed on the vacuum he had given you for your birthday last year. He'd gotten it to help ease your back issues, hoping it would make cleaning less of a strain.
Cleaning—his favourite thing.
Ironically, you hadn't even used it yet, despite it being a gift from him. Seonghwa always ended up coming over and doing the cleaning himself before you could even get the chance. Maybe now would be a good time to finally put it to use and take your mind off things. As he'd often said, cleaning could be therapeutic.
Only one way to find out.
"What the—" he jolted awake at the sudden noise from outside. Who on earth would be vacuuming at—he glanced at the digital clock beside him—three in the freaking morning?! Tossing the comforter aside, he shuffled to the door and swung it open.
"I swear to g—babe?"
You froze. Were you hearing things? Slowly, you switched off the vacuum and spun around, only to see your boyfriend standing there at your doorway in his favourite worn-out t-shirt, his hair adorably tousled.
"H-Hwa? What are you doing here?"
"They let me off a few days early, so I came home first. But what about you? You promised to stay at your parents' whenever I wasn't around. You know how much it scares me to think of you alone here."
Your lips quivered as he stepped closer, gently taking the vacuum from your hands and setting it aside before guiding you to the couch. "I... I've been needed at work a lot lately, so I've been staying here since it's closer to the office. But—wait, why did they let you off early? Are you not feeling well?" you asked, panic creeping into your voice as your hands flew to his face.
He chuckled softly, holding your hands and pressing his forehead against yours. "I guess you could say that," he murmured. "My heart hasn't been feeling too good."
Your eyes widened in alarm. "Your heart?! We need to get you checked—" You tried to pull away to grab your phone, but he gently pulled you back by the shoulders.
"It's okay," he whispered, a teasing smile on his lips. "It just... misses its owner."
You blinked, confusion clouding your gaze. "Its owner...?"
"Yes, you. It belongs to you, doesn't it?" he said, his voice tender.
You sighed, finally calming down as the worry ebbed away, replaced by overwhelming relief. When was the last time he'd said something this sweet? Tears filled your eyes as you melted into his arms. "I missed you too, Hwa," you whispered softly.
Home... at last.
It didn't take long before your body went limp in his embrace, exhaustion finally catching up to you. His heart clenched painfully as he held you close, stroking your hair gently. Truth be told, he'd found it hard to focus on work ever since he realised how much of a rough patch you'd been going through. The distance, the long hours, and the silence between texts—maybe it had all taken more of a toll on you than he'd allowed himself to see.
Perhaps if he'd been more present, more attentive, things wouldn't have gotten so overwhelming for you. Guilt gnawed at his chest, and he hoped—prayed—it wasn't too late to change that now. You deserved someone who made you feel safe and loved, not someone who put everything else before you.
Carefully, he shifted you onto the couch, laying you down gently as if you were made of porcelain. His eyes softened as he pulled the blanket draped over the back of the couch and tucked it around you snugly. You looked so fragile like this, traces of stress still etched on your sleeping face even as you finally rested.
"I'm here now," he whispered softly, brushing a thumb across your cheek. He leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
With a deep breath, he sank down beside you, not quite able to leave your side just yet. He reached out, his fingers tangling lightly with yours, and watched as your hand unconsciously tightened around his. A sad smile tugged at his lips.
He could see it now—all the times you'd put on a brave face, all the moments you'd said you were okay when, clearly, you weren't. And he'd been too wrapped up in his own responsibilities to realise. But no more. He'd make it right.
From now on, no matter what, he'd put you first.
With that thought, he settled in beside you, keeping a watchful eye as you slept soundly for the first time in what felt like ages. He could feel his own eyes growing heavy, but he didn't move. For now, he'd stay here, where you needed him to be. Finally, he let himself relax, his heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time. Because he was where he belonged—right by your side.
Watching your chest rise and fall with each steady breath, Seonghwa's heart ached with a mix of relief and regret. He'd almost forgotten how peaceful you looked when you were resting. When was the last time you'd fallen asleep so easily? Had you been spending these nights alone, tossing and turning, fighting your own thoughts?
Guilt twisted in his gut as he brushed a few stray strands of hair from your face. His eyes trailed over the faint shadows beneath your eyes, the stress lines that seemed so out of place on your once-bright features. What had he been doing all this time? He'd known work was tough for you, yet he'd kept pushing himself to focus on his own projects, thinking he was doing what was best for your future together.
But what good was any of it if he wasn't there when you needed him most?
A wave of self-reproach washed over him, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He'd been chasing after goals, believing it was all for you, yet somewhere along the way, he'd let you slip through his fingers. You were right here, yet you'd never seemed further away.
Drawing in a shaky breath, he tightened his hold on your hand, as if afraid you might disappear if he let go. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly, his voice trembling with emotion. "I should have been here. I should have listened better... I didn't realise how much you were hurting."
The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of rain outside and your even breathing. He watched you stir a little, brow furrowing as if sensing his distress even in your sleep. He quickly leaned forward, his lips brushing your knuckles in a feather-light kiss.
"I promise, I'll do better," he murmured, a fierce determination settling in his chest. "No more empty beds, no more lonely nights. We'll figure this out together, okay?"
It was a vow, one he intended to keep no matter what. Slowly, he shifted to sit on the floor beside the couch, resting his head near your shoulder. He didn't care if it was uncomfortable—he just needed to be close, to feel your warmth. The distance that had grown between you over the past few months felt insurmountable, but he'd rebuild it brick by brick if he had to.
He wasn't going to let you carry everything on your own anymore.
Eventually, he felt your fingers tighten around his hand, just slightly. His heart skipped a beat, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips.
Maybe... just maybe, this was a start.
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ATEEZ MASTERLIST
Thank you, pookie, @itstheghostofmypast, for the idea! I just love how this was supposed to be a lighthearted and funny timestamp but my reality took over and here we are.
Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this self-indulgent little piece. As always, let me know your thoughts! <3
General ATEEZ Tag list:
@aurasblue @marievllr-abg @itsvxlentine @minghaoslatina @huachengsbestie01 |
@evidive @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr @cheolliehugs @ho3-for-yunho |
@the-kpop-simp @itstheghostofmypast @vantediary @green-agent @skzline |
@sharksandminhos @writingwieny @heyitsmetonid @tinyteezer @hollxe1 |
@pandabur666 @vampzity @tournesol155 @lilactangerine @oddracha |
@haven-cove @idfkeddieishot @vic0921 @vnessalau @apriecotte |
@bangtannie7 @vtyb23 @khjoongie98 @scuzmunkie @anxiousskylar |
@bunny4yungi @zl-world
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All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.
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pia-nor481 · 1 year ago
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Hearing your voice
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Lando Norris x reader smut
Words: 2.7k
Warnings: “Daddy”, “Good girl”, “Slut” Lando being dominant, the word “Cunt” I guess. Idk
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Lando had been away for a few weeks now, and so she was getting lonely, desperate for attention. They had almost no time for calls or messages; this left them with nine minute voice notes left on delivered for hours. Lando was was either racing or training for racing, and so he was missing her too. Usually this would hinder a relationship, but not them. There was so much pure love that they could handle the wait. She would watch all of the races, eyes never leaving the orange car, often adored in Lando's clothes. The worst part was the inconvenience of time zones; he would be a few hours ahead so he would be asleep when she was free from work, or he would be a few hours behind, and so she would be asleep when he was free from racing or debriefs, and he wouldn't dare interrupt that. So much so, that when he was streaming he'd often pull his mic closer, and opt to speak at a lower level. 
Night quickly approached Monaco as she laid in Lando's bed, the smell of him was long gone. She stayed still for a while, unaware of what she was thinking about. She didn't feel the first call, thoughts occupied with him, then when the bed began to vibrate again, she scrambled to the phone. "Hey, Babe." She could hear the smile through the call, just the idea of speaking with him perked her up. "Can we facetime, I need to see your beautiful face." Her smile soon dropped after processing his words. "I'm sorry, my camera has been broken for a while, but I've not had the chance to get a new phone yet." This answered his unasked question of 'Why hasn't she sent any images through out the day?' Lando was just as disappointed as her, they couldn't touch and couldn't see, it was devastating. "That's okay, I know how much you love my voice." If you had asked her one month ago is she would have confessed to her boyfriend that his voice alone would get her wet, she would have called them delusional. But now, after Lando's infamous twitch streams, it was something he would tease her about at any chance he could get. "I know you're blushing." He laughed out, pressing his phone closer to his ear and turning the volume up, not wanting to miss a sound. "Don't start, it has been far to long of a day for that, as much as I'd usually love it."  She huffed out the last of the sentence, head falling atop the pillow, well, Lando's pillow. "Are you sure? I could go all night." She shook her head as he laughed a little too much. "Oh I know all about that." 
"So what are you supposed to be doing?" She asked, knowing it is likely he will be in trouble tomorrow. "I should be going over data, but my girlfriend is more important." He smiled, making sure his hotel door was closed. "So, what have you been up to today? You only left one message, no voice notes either." She almost groaned at the question, "Nothing really, work and cleaning, but I have been sat in bed for a while, again doing nothing." Lando was surprised at the statement, usually she would be so busy that there was no time to rest for hours. "Feeling needy?" He huffed out, feeling the exact same. "For you? Always." There's no other reason for her to be in bed at such an hour. 
"Are you feeling a little bit turned on baby? Yeah, Need help?" Her only response was a whine. "Well, I'm going to instruct you on what I want you to do, and you are not going to cum until I say, do you understand?" It took many people far too long to realise that Lando was in fact a dominant man, they only began to notice this after an interview where he explained that he loved being in control, what he left out, was his love for controlling her. "Say 'Yes Daddy'." She did as she was told, fearing that if she disobeyed that she would be punished. "Good girl... Good girl." They had been together for long enough that Lando knew that praise was very important for her pleasure. "So, there's going to be lots of teasing and touching...But you'll only cum when I tell you, and i promise you baby, I promise you, it will be so fucking worth it." She squirmed just at his voice, just at his explanation, just because of him. 
"But now, just start teasing your thighs for me, don't get anywhere near your cunt yet, Do you understand?" His laugh at the end of the sentence echoed through out the hotel room. "You are such a slut." A small frown appeared on her face upon hearing the new name. "Only for you." She was right, this gave Lando a sign to be careful with his words. She was tapping lightly at the top of her thighs before running them lower as he began to speak. "Just tease the inside of you thighs for me, stroke up and down, and creep towards your cunt, but don't touch, just tease yourself; Imagine it's my hand, drifting up those sexy thighs of yours, willing you legs to spread open for me, and I know you would spread so fucking quickly for me." She did as Lando told her, moaning into the speaker of the phone. "Yes Daddy." she was quick to exclaim, not wanting to disappoint, he chuckled at her obedience. "Good girl, just one slow caress over your thighs and you open up for me, so eager." 
"That's it, really rub, caress those thighs...keep teasing your thighs with one hand, take the other and start teasing your breasts for me, ugh those beautiful breasts. Just tease them, pinch your nipples, squeeze." He chuckled out the last word. She was quick to pay her phone on the pillow and put it on loud speaker. "I am going to get you so wet, before you even touch yourself properly... This is all just a warm up. Mhm lets get both hands on your nipples now, both hands; Just cupping, pinching, pulling.  That's it, you see if I was there right now, id be doing exactly what you're doing right now, with one hand, yeah that's right, but on the other nipple I use my mouth; id lick and suck, Mhm, that's right baby, and you'd fucking love it, you'd fucking love every second of attention that I give you. But just as you are really enjoying the suction, and the attention from my mouth, I would just switch to the other nipple, only occasionally stopping, just so I can appreciate your sweet reactions." He paused to take a deep steady breath, giving her a second to strip of all her remaining clothes. "Good girl, now i want you to keep teasing one breast, but your other hand must slowly, and I mean slowly, to drift down towards your stomach, and I want you to stop, stop, at that little area just above your cunt. Now don't you dare touch that clit. Not yet." He moaned at a low pitch, a noise of satisfaction. "There's just that little area above your cunt, and I want you to push down on it for me, just push down because, if my dick was inside you, that's exactly he area id push. And when I do, it really stimulates your g-spot." He laughed at the brash statement as soon as it left his lips. Lando never thought he would be good at dirty talk, yet now, it just felt so natural. 
"That's right, baby. And as you push down on that spot, just realise how empty your cu t is, So push down and clench for me; clench your cunt around nothing.. and feel the urge to have something inside of you grow. Fuck it's so much fun to tease you, so much fun."  She moaned rather loud, not just at his verbal teasing, but the physical. "Back to your thighs, or your breasts, i don't mind, maybe both, as long as you don't touch that cunt. You have no idea how much i would torture you, just to make you so desperate. How badly do you want to touch your cunt right now? Come on, tell me." She had to bring her focus back from touch before speaking, "So much." He chuckled at her simple response, knowing she couldn't think about too much at the moment. "Say 'Please', say 'Please Daddy'." She did so immediately, already struggling with the teasing. "Say 'Please can I touch my needy cunt.'" Lando was getting drunk on the feeling of being in control, he could make her do or say anything he pleased, and he enjoyed the feeling of power. "Say for me, 'I am a good slut, with a needy cunt.'" She couldn't resist the urge to please him as the words came quickly from her mouth, and he laughed teasingly as he heard it. "I think.... Just hearing yourself say that would drive you crazy. Am i right? of course i am." 
"Okay Baby... It's time for you to touch your clit. but i want you to slowly, slowly and gently graze your hand over your clit. As you feel the pleasure from that needy throbbing clit of yours i want you to say 'Thank you, Daddy.'" He paused, waiting for her to follow the instructions. She let out a sigh before speaking, "Thank you, Daddy." And a moan once finished. "Good girl, my good girl. You're welcome sweetheart, I do love teasing you, and you are doing such a good job for me." Lando quickly recognised that she needed a little more praise after calling her a slut twice. "So well behaved, so patient, so needed, so desperate, so cute, I fucking love playing with you." Lando moved his phone to the other ear before speaking again. "Keep rubbing your clit, but keep the pressure gentle, for now. That's it baby." She whined, she so desperately wanted t cum, but she had to wait, knowing the punishment would be harsh. "Now i think its time for you to have something inside your cunt. What do you think? Don't you think it would feel better if your cunt was filled... Okay baby, you can grab any toy you'd like, or you can just use your fingers... Actually no, you don't get the choice baby. Your fingers are nowhere near the size of mine, go grab a toy." She practically jumped up from the bed and reached for the bedside table, he didn't begin speaking until he knew she was settled on the bed again. "But don't put it inside yet... You are going to do exactly what i would do with my cock, which is just tease the entrance, up and down...feel your body begging, the desperation to be filled." He was taunting with a sweet laugh and it was torture. "Now I want you to slowly slid it in, just the tiniest bit, just the tip of the toy... and then back out again, then go back to teasing up and down."
"all the while pleasuring your clit, in fact, you can speed up a little now. Just a little faster for me. Now a little bit further into your cunt...Mhm... and back out." She could hear the stupid smirk on his face, the satisfaction he was feeling from being in complete control of her, so she whined. "You just want to be filled don't you, just a little bit further this time." She whined again, not out of annoyance, but out of pleasure. "Aw its okay baby, you can go all the way in, i want that toy all the way inside. Just clench, clench around it. Good girl, clench around it, just as you would if you were around my cock. That's right, as if you were trying to pleasure me, by squeezing and clenching; i want you to do that exact thing. Now with your other hand, i want you to try and push down on that spot, just above your cunt, see if you can really start to get that g-spot going." Lando was practically laughing down the phone at how needy she was, yet every now and then he was pushing down on or squeezing his cock tight, trying to relieve himself of the pressure building up. But he couldn't lose his composure. "More pressure on your clit now, faster, get into a good rhythm for me. You feel full? Yeah? Good girl." She let out a quiet sigh at the name. It was all starting to go to her head. "There seem to be so many different ways to pleasure a slut like you. But I know you love all of the. Don't you?" Lando paused to catch his breathe, "Fuck, I'm so hard for you, just thinking about you, thinking of how needed you are. More pressure on your clit for me, faster... then you can just keep squeezing that toy, or maybe you can fuck yourself instead." He stopped to think, making her wait for his decision, tripping on power slightly. "Actually yes, fuck yourself for me. Good girl, always a good girl for me. Go faster for me, faster on your clit, faster with that toy; both of them working together, to make you um, but don't cum yet, don't you dare cum yet. But i know that the combination will make you cum, you'll cum so hard, my perfect girl, following instructions so well. Fuck yourself, fuck yourself so hard for me. That's it, Good girl." Her hips began to lift off of the bed slightly, breath becoming more ragged with her chest rising and falling so quickly. 
"Just let it all girl, any noise you want to make, let it go, just feel good for me. Just get faster; get more needy for me. Until the orgasm feels inevitable, so much so that you cant stop it from happening." She gasped loudly, voice echoing off the walls, Getting the permission to do such a thing only heightened the pleasure more. "Are you ready? Are you ready to cum for me? say 'Please Daddy, please can i cum.'" Lando paused, keen for her response, which he got almost immediately. "Good girl, I'm gonna count you down from five, when i reach zero, only then you can cum. Do you understand me?" Initially she nodded, forgetting that Lando could not see her. She was so overwhelmed at the feeling, and thought of cumming that she couldn't think about anything else, being on edge for so long just made the pleasure all that more powerful. "Okay...Five." He had already paused, one number in, to call her  a good girl. "Four....so fucking sexy for me......three, so desperate, so needy, yet so obedient." Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the words that left his mouth only make her want to cum more. "Two...So perfect at following instructions .So close the the edge, its gonna feel so fucking good." He waited even longer to say the last number. "One...Are you ready to cum for me? Yeah, you are aren't you. Zero, cum for me baby, that's it, good girl, cum for me, let it all go for me. Let that orgasm overwhelm you, baby. Good girl, that's it. You deserve all that pleasure. So good for me." Lando practically whispered out the last sentence know she would not be able to understand his words, the orgasm so powerful that she could hear, only seeing stars. "Fuck, I love playing with you. So perfect for me." 
"I love you, baby." Lando waited for her to come back down from the high before speaking, it was so important that she heard such things, especially as he couldn't hold her in his embrace. "I love you so much, Lando" He shot up straight upon hearing his name. "Hey now, after all that, only 'Lando' unbelievable." He feigned annoyance, and she only laughed out a response. "Thank you, Daddy."
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Masterlist
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Voicelines about you
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Arlecchino x Reader
Includes : Tartaglia, Wanderer, Charlotte, Lynette, Lyney, Freminete, Navia, Chiory and ofc Arlecchino
Note : This has been rotting in my Samsung Notes since months lol
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Tartaglia
- Have you heard about the Knaves poor spouse? Sneznayas Darling? No? Well, I have seen them only a few times since they decided to reside in Fontain. Or since she made them, it wouldn't suprise me, the woman is intimidating and knows her way with words, who knows what she did or does with them...
Wanderer
- Who? Hmmm, they usually are always by her side, she had never move them an inch from her, or atleast that was before she had them stay in Fontain. But the last time I saw them, I could swear that the ligth had dissapeared from their eyes. And who can blame them, with that wolf of a wife... hehe, she must have ripped them limp from limp by now.
Charlotte
- The Knaves spouse! Of course! They are a hard catch these days! Not that I could Photograph them though, they're the same as the Knave in that regard. If they are dead? I can assure you they are not! I always see them at the mornings when I run to work! Sometimes alone, sometimes with the Knave, but I only have ever gotten a wave out of them. Such a mysterious figure...I wish I could just get one interview, I even tried to write to them! But only the Knave responded, denying it...such a shame.
Lynette
- Huh, I will assume you got that information from Childe. 'Mother' is...different from 'Father' to say the least, they are gentler, have a softer voice. Though if you upset them, that soft voice will turn solid. I've seen it before when a few of my siblings tried to slack off to much. They are even more strict than 'Father' in some cases, but, none of us blame them and whoever talks bad about them...well...you don't wanna know.
Lyney
- So you have heard about them? Was it from the rumors that 'Father' has killed them? Or from Childe? Childe, really? Interesting. Well, when Lynette and I were younger, we have noticed that 'Father' would treat them differently. Just not in a positive ligth, while we liked them. They were... different from the other caretakers, and so we spun a little matchmaking with the help of Freminete. I remember it all quite fondly.
Freminete
- You've heard of 'Mother'? They are kind, I think. Sometimes...sometimes when I wanted to cry when I was younger, they would pull me aside and have me silently cry in their lap, even let me stain their clothes...they would never mention it to 'Father', and act as if it never happend.
Navia
- I thougth they were dead for the longest time! That was untill I overheard the Knave ask one of her soldiers to deliver the message that she'd need to stay a bit longer and for them to prepare the soldiers. I never meet them in person, but...I'd suggest you to be careful with them too. I don't think a Harbinger would choose their Partner ligthly.
Chiori
- I am not really one for rumors, let us just say that I thougth they were made up, but that was untill they came into my shop just five minutes after I opened it on a Monday. They were very adamant about the fabrics I should use and what they wanted, also having their measurements along with them already. I like customer's that know what they want. How I knew that they were the 'Mother'? The presence of the Knave in front of the shop was a big indicator for it, as for some other clues, like the ring, and the fact that they kissed, and maybe because they called her their Husband.
Arlecchino
- My spouse, of course, I've gathered that you have already heard about them.
What I can say about them? Well, as the 'Mother' it is their duty to stay by my side and support me in my work. They do so quite well. You say that, that sounds as if they function as the 'First Lady' or 'First spouse' in this case? Well, I suppose that's true.
- Oh? You wanna know even more about them? Maybe I should get you to meet them then, they have been asking me if they could meet that famous traveler everyone has been talking about, we could arrange something, just be careful, they have been quite timid lately. But I'm sure you'll get along well.
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inbabylontheywept · 8 months ago
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So: You have depression.
I'm 27 now. The last time I had a major depressive episode was when I was 16. I still have depressive episodes every now and then, but the worst tend to be a month, and most I can generally get through them in about a week. It took me a while to kind of figure out how to handle depression as a recurring thing, and so I thought I'd make a little welp-I-got-diagnosed-now-what guide.
So, first part of the guide: When I first got depressed, I thought that depression was the terrible, sad hopeless feeling that I had. It isn't. That terrible sad hopeless feeling is a symptom of prolonged depression. By the time I get to that point, I'm pretty well cooked and it takes a lot longer to bounce back. Avoiding getting to that point is a vital part of living with depression.
So what does depression feel like?
I am going to hammer this point home a lot of times while writing this: Depression is an anesthetic. It is not felt as a presence, but as an absence. The first absence, for me at least, is when life stops being fun. Every movie feels boring, I can't get more than a few pages into any book, and everything just seems... bland.
This is the best point to catch it at. I have found that consumptive patterns of entertainment do not do anything to help depression. Some people have told me that producing art at this time really helps them, but personally, I can't imagine trying. Instead, I just do tasks that I know inspire physical satisfaction. Which sounds like jerking off (I don't actually reccomend that route) but really means things like: Going for a walk in the sunshine. Working out. Cleaning the house in a fairly exhaustive way. Scrub the baseboards, wash the sink, clear the fridge, etc.
I recognize that doing those is really, really hard while depressed because depression causes physical weakness and exhaustion. The best I can do is, unfortunately, encourage vigillance. If you suspect you're getting into a funk, start on this before you get really deep into the mire. People that get into the mire can get out, but it's not self-help read-a-book type shit, it takes therapy and medication and patience and it is so much easier and cheaper and faster to just avoid letting it get that bad then crawling out once it's sunk its teeth into you.
I have found that for things that work almost by exposure alone, spending time in the sun and talking to people are borderline magical, with the caveat that talking to people about being depressed tends to make things worse instead of better. Talking about anything that cuts through the anesthetic of depression is ideal, or if it's sunk in deep enough that you're having trouble finding anything, talking to someone else about what they're passionate about. Ideally, you'd find someone passionate about a thing you know you're passionate about but are struggling to enjoy right then, and then you'd just let your mirror neurons run amok. Bonus Points
So, you're already depressed. Like, pretty fucking depressed, and you fucked up, and you let it slide. What then?
This is my I-Fucked-Up-And-Got-Big-Sad, Salvage-My-Weekend, depression routine. You'll need to make one for yourself at some point, and yours will work better for you, but this is mine and I think it'll work okay-ish for you. Until you get your own, at least.
I have to get up before 10 am. Staying in bed later than that gives the depression such a huge head start on my day that I just basically can't catch up. If I can't just brute force get myself out of bed, I will throw my blankets and sit cold on my sheets until that gives me the motivation I need. If I cannot work up the guts to throw my blankets, I will actually roll off the bed, flop gracelessly onto the floor, and then stare wistfully up until I can will myself to stand. It helps that every bedroom I've had either had freezing cold tile, or itchy coarse carpet. If you have a comfy floor, maybe buy a very scratchy rug? I cannot emphasize how important this step is. It's like, half of the whole thing.
After getting up, immediately go outside and sit in the sunshine. This provides free executive function, and getting it ASAP will make everything go much smoother.
Talk to someone while outside. If you have a roommate, they work great. Face to face conversations tend to be the best, but phone calls with loved ones are like at least 80% as effective. Calls to family members tend to be better than in face conversations with acquaintances or people you're mostly ambivalent about. Don't do chat messages. Worse than nothing.
This should have scrounged up enough free energy that you can clean something. I always start by trying to clear a part of my counter off. If that's all I got, that's all I got, and I still feel good about it. If that inspires me to do more, I'll run with it until a whole room is up to snuff. I don't do more than one room while I'm this crispy: The goal is not really to clean the house, but to work through a series of tasks that require some initial level of executive function but provide a larger amount back once completed. Life has a lot of these deals that are like, give me $10 and I'll give you $12, give me $12 and I'll give you $20, on and on, and the hard part is really just getting the $10. Some people wake up with $10. Most days, you will wake up with $10. But not when you're like this. You're gonna have to earn it. I'm sorry.
I am going to reiterate: This is what I do when I feel a funk coming on. My life and my schedule are not always this regimented. Living with depression doesn't mean never sleeping until 10, or having a weekend where you don't talk to someone, or take a break from cleaning. Living with depression just means never, ever, leaning into the depression when you feel it coming on. Even when it starts out feeling cozy. Even when you want to just snuggle into it and sleep and sleep and sleep. The first day or two will feel luxurious, and the next week will feel terrible, and the longer you wait the harder it will be to get out. You are always going to have to worry about that. Again, I'm really, truly sorry.
Bonus Bonus Points
I am not a psychologist, but I do have a theory about why depression exists. Remember how I said it's anesthetizing? I think that's what it's there for - getting rid of emotional pain when it isn't being helpful. People often get depressed after a major injury. Boredom is normally nature's way of punishing you for just curling up and doing nothing, but depression can be the emergency override on boredom. It makes sense for you to sit still and do nothing while your body is healing, so maybe nature temporarily removes all your motivation with depression and then just lets you be a limp noodle until you're healthy again. Maybe?
Back to the emotional level, though, depression might also be a way to muffle pains that would otherwise be so intense that people might not remain in control of the faculties. The pain of losing a parent is notorious for driving people so mad with pain that they ruin their lives, but depression is there to at least try and keep us sedated until the nadir has passed.
It is helpful to know what the purpose of depression is, because you will eventually get it from an "intended" cause, and reflexively fighting it then probably isn't good for you. And at the very least, knowing why this stupid thing exists makes the world feel like less of a cruel place.
There are a lot of interesting studies on the physical effects of depression - things like muscle weakness, increased pain tolerance, muscle relaxation, etc. that I won't go into, but it does so many things at once that it almost doesn't feel like a fuck up, but a feature that we just kind of lost the plot on. Not gonna deep dive on it, but it is something that probably shouldn't be confined to just a mental disorder.
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worksby-d · 2 months ago
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Lying in your arms, so safe and warm
Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader
Summary: After spending Father’s Day with Andy’s son and your newborn daughter, you'd like to give him one last gift once you're alone, but maybe you're not ready yet. (Longer version of this ask I answered in June.)
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Warnings: Talking about SEX
Word count: ~800 
a/n: We’re celebrating Father’s Day in October and we're gonna like it damnit!! This is ~technically~ part of this series, but can be read alone.
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It’s your first night alone in nearly three months. 
Jacob so graciously offered to take Evren for the night after the long day the four of you had and neither you or Andy could object to that. 
It's late now. Andy thinks you're in the bathroom getting ready for bed, your usual routine. 
He’s talking out loud as he strips his own clothes off in search for something comfier. 
“It's so quiet here without Evie,” he chuckles, shaking his head to himself. “I don't think I remembered what this was like… I know it's only been a few months, but—”
When the bathroom door opens, he looks over his shoulder and short circuits stops mid-sentence as he watches you walk into the room. 
“Wow…”
Evidently, he forgot how to pick his jaw up off the floor. 
His eyes follow from your soft smile, down your body, admiring the silk and lace cami and shorts set that you haven't worn since before you were pregnant. 
He used to joke it's one of his favorites because it's easy to slip off of you. 
His eyes come back up to meet yours as you step toward him. 
“You talk too much for me to remember the quiet, by the way,” you quip, having heard his every thought albeit the door separating the two of you. 
You lean in to kiss him and he laughs against your lips, pulling you closer. 
“What are you doin’?” He mumbles, bringing a hand up to caress the side of your face. “Hm?” 
Pulling away enough to look at him, he doesn't miss the teasing glint in your eyes. 
“Didn't think I'd let Father’s Day end without giving you one more gift, did you?” 
You don't have to ask him twice—or at all—to get in bed with you. 
It's like he's a step ahead of you, blindly moving closer to the bed to pull you down with him. 
“Andy,” you laugh, landing on top of him. 
Your fingers brush through his hair as his lips meet yours again. The kisses are deeper now, slower and more breath-taking — ones you feel like you haven't had time for in ages. 
He's sure as hell not going to complain if making out is all you do tonight, but he has an inkling you had a plan for more.
However, he knows your body and he can tell you're not completely relaxed. He’s well aware it's been a while and rushing you is the last thing he wants to do, but he can feel you're holding back.
To see if it's a matter of needing him to take the pressure off a little bit and take the lead, he moves the hand he has resting on your thigh up higher, over your hip to push the soft fabric of your top up. 
Your heart races even faster than it already is when you feel the warm palm of his hand against your side, his thumb stroking against the skin of your stomach. 
The hand you have on his cheek slips down to his wrist to keep him from undressing you any further. 
He breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against yours. 
“It’s okay if you're not ready,” he whispers. 
You let out a sad-sounding laugh. “That sounds familiar.”
He said those exact words to you the night after your first date. You froze in bed then too.
He can't help but smile. “I meant it then just like I mean it now.” 
“I know,” you sigh, dropping your face to hide against his neck. 
He smooths your top back down to cover you, moving on to rubbing your back instead.
“I'm not an animal, honey,” he jokes. “I can go a few months without sex.”
Frustrated with yourself, you let out a deep breath. 
“I'm sorry,” you say quietly. “I've never been self-conscious with you… I don't get it. I just wanna feel like myself again.” 
“You will,” he assures. “Don't apologize.” 
Through the silence that settles between the two of you, he finally feels you relax against him. He can't help continuing his mission to make you feel better. 
“I've changed too, you know. I'm no spring chicken…” 
“Please,” you scoff. “You're just as sexy as the day I met you. It's not fair.”  
“I could say the same about you,” he promises, hugging you tighter. 
You sniffle and he feels a twinge in his heart knowing you don't quite believe him right now. 
“Sorry,” you exhale, not letting yourself cry. “It's your day and you're the one comforting me.” 
“That's what I'm here for,” he whispers. “Always.” 
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