#these hate anons ive been getting have been so weak

[mbat]

💀💀 bruh some anon just tried to send me hate about being a furry and being against proshippers "cause furries are into beastiality and thats worlds worse" my guy literally 99% of furries fucking hate the beastiality losers and being a furry can very much coexist with being anti proshipper, get a better argument that hurts next time

[thejujvtsupost]

hiiii, i just wanna say i love your writing!

is it okay if i request a Gojo fluff of him coming out of the Prison Realm and seeing Y/N? a lil bit of angst and a lot of fluff if you please.

thank you!

have a cookie 🍪

and a lil bit of love <3

byee

-anon :)

The Return

Hi anon! You’re so sweet 🥺💗 here’s a cookie for you too! 🍪 hope you don’t mind but I also added some Nobara copium since her dreaded episode comes out this week. She deserved better tbh.

Notes: F!reader, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, Gojo needs a hug and gets one. Just something extra fluffy for the copium we all need. Also since Nobara’s status is technically ‘unknown’ I decided she’s in a coma for the foreseeable future to make myself feel better. 🤗 I also didn’t know how to end it because I had too many ideas.

He looked like a mess.

You, Shoko and Yaga were the only ones unsealing Gojo, you had no idea what he was going to be like and all the kids had been through more than enough. If something tragic happened, they didn’t need to see it.

The way looked at you, some meters away from where he was unsealed, broke your heart. “Baby?” His scratchy voice was barely audible, likely dehydrated.

His hair was in complete disarray, dirt, dry blood and filth all over him, clothes hanging off of his frame- he clearly lost some weight. He’d been through hell.

None of that deterred you from immediately running into his arms, kissing his cheek and clutching his body close, tight but trying to be mindful of his frailty. His reverse curse technique could heal injuries, but it couldn’t sustain him alone. Especially not for over two weeks.

“God ‘toru never scare me like that again!” You were choked up and overwhelmed. “Are you okay? Of course you’re not- you need water and a fucking meal.”

A look over from Shoko while informing him of the lives lost went by in a blur for you both. You could tell he was having a hard time processing everything. “Nanami? Really? And Nobara’s in a coma?” He refused IV fluids so you were nearly drowning him with water he had to drink. As soon as you got him home he’d eat too.

His sadness was palpable when it was confirmed. “I always thought he’d be able to live through anything…”

“He died protecting Yuuji, Maki, Megumi and the others. He fought bravely til the end. Unfortunately Yuuji saw it happen, he’s been… struggling… but he’s very resilient.” You squeezed his hand and he squeezed it back- the best he could anyway. He was shaky and weak from the toll on his body.

Getting him home was a relief. You got him sat comfortably on the couch, still in dirty clothes (minus his uniform jacket you helped him out of) but you’d deal with that after he ate. You hated the grunts of pain exiting his lips from the ache in his muscles.

“Relax as best you can, I have some leftover chicken takeout I’m gonna heat up and I’ll be back.”

He caught your wrist in a panic. “Don’t leave- need to know you’re real. ‘Haven’t even properly kissed me yet.” He brought some humor and a smile into the room like always, you appreciated that about him no matter how weak it was this time. Even in the darkest moments he made you laugh with his charm.

“My apologies.” You leaned down with a giggle and kissed him gently.

Being alone was painful for anyone, and for Gojo, where he couldn’t even keep track of time, it was agony. He would dream, or perhaps hallucinate about you only for you to disappear when he wanted to touch you. Agony.

Pulling away from him after so long was difficult too. “I’ll just be a few minutes, I promise.”

Gojo let you leave and you talked to him from your place in the kitchen. He never valued being able to see the kitchen from the living room so much until this moment.

You made sure he ate as much as he could before pulling him to the bathroom connected to your room. A shower was next on the list and you had a feeling you’d end up in there with him. He needed some help but he disguised it as being needier than necessary (he was naturally needy and affectionate with you anyway.)

“Turn and lean down a little, you’re a billion meters tall and I can’t reach your hair” he complied and bantered with you lovingly. Not to his usual standards, but you didn’t care about anything other than him being right there under your fingertips. He was real, his voice was real.

And when he finally broke down, his head on your shoulder and arms around you, he couldn’t stop. He sobbed the ugliest of cries that ripped through your own heart and you didn’t stop him, didn’t shush him, just kissed the side of his head and rubbed his back. Encouraging him to let it out. It was a matter of time before his emotions caught up to him.

You spent more time holding him than washing him. Happily.

The water eventually ran clear and sobs turned to sniffles. Only then did you turn it off and help him out with the mutual understanding that his heart needs time to heal before he can talk about the tragedies he let out in the shower.

And finally, getting into bed and cuddling close, he had a death grip around you.

“I missed you so, so much Satoru. Don’t ever do that to me again or I’ll kill you.”

“I missed you too doll, you have no idea how bad I needed to see you and just feel you.” He kissed you just as sweetly as he did gently.

Falling asleep without tears for the first time in weeks, exchanging quiet words of love, was bliss.

A miracle, actually.

Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3

[the-guilty-writer]

A Little Tachy

Request from anon: Hiya, could you possibly do something with Morgan x platonic!bau!reader who has pots, or if your not comfortable just faints? X

Derek Morgan x platonic!BAU!reader

GN!reader

Summary: Reader’s tachycardia is flaring and Morgan helps them through the day

A/N: What a great way to kick off Disability Pride Month!

I don’t have POTS, but I’m educated on the condition. One of the things I believe is important to acknowledge is that not everyone with POTS faints, so while the reader comes close to fainting and it’s implied that they have fainted in the past, the reader does not faint during the fic. This fic contains the symptoms and form of POTS I am most familiar with and hear about most often, but it effects everyone who has it individually.

CW: reader almost faints, reader has tachycardia but specific condition is never stated, liquid IV (yes it deserves a warning)

---

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Your smartwatch went off, disturbing the already awkward silence of the elevator. Quickly, you pressed the button to silence it and looked down at the screen that read a number much too high for your liking. The line on the screen climbed with the elevator. Your vision began to fog at the edges and tightness spread across your chest.

Just a few more floors… you thought to yourself, but even that thought was a little hazy. Your grip weakened ever so slightly on the accessible bar. Please, not first thing in the morning… The doors opened onto the sixth floor.

“-scuse me,” you managed to say to the person blocking your way to the door. They scooted to give you room to escape and you managed to dizzily shuffle out of the elevator and into the familiar hallway. With weak limbs and a foggy head, you sank against the closest wall, breathing rapidly.

Keeping your head lifted felt all too much like a chore, so you tilted it back against the wall and allowed your eyes to close. Instead of trying to control your breathing, you allowed yourself to heave with every exhale; it wasn’t worth the extra energy to try to control the muscles of your diaphragm. The alert on your watch went off again, but it wasn’t worth it to turn it off. The sound was annoying as hell, but you didn’t have the strength to turn it off. It should have been alarming to have someone take your wrist while you were in such a vulnerable position, but the touch was so familiar, you knew who it was without looking.

“Thanks,” you managed to get the entire word out without slurring - a good sign.

Derek Morgan sat down on the floor next to you, sighing. “You need me to take you home?” Your best friend’s voice was filled with sympathy.

Sometimes you hated that he worried about you so much, and other times you were grateful you had someone that cared enough to accompany you on the ground.

“No,” you said, your strength coming back to you. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

Your heart came down to a normal (but still less-than-ideal) rate. The pain in your chest faded and the dizziness began to clear. Morgan got up first to help pull you to your feet.

“Thanks,” you said, checking your watch to make sure your heart didn't spike.

“You sure you're okay?” He looked at you with concern.

With your heart staying steady, you cracked a smirk. “A little tachy, but okay.”

The joke was bad, but you still managed to pull a smile out of Morgan. “Take it easy today,” he said.

“I will.”

You walked towards the bullpen, your heart rate rising just a bit as it always did when you were on the move. Derek stood in the hall and watched you carefully for any signs of stumbling. It wasn’t until you were safely through the glass doors, surrounded by people that could catch you if you fainted, that he felt it was okay to go down the hall to his office.

---

You had a few dizzy moments and foggy incidents since your initial extreme tachycardic episode in the morning, but nothing too far out of the ordinary: some lightheadedness when you went to turn in some files and needing some deep breaths whenever you reached down into your bag. It wasn’t technically normal, but it was your normal, and you made it work.

Eleven o’clock rolled around, and just like everyone else in the office, you started to crave caffeine to keep you going. The old coffee maker struggled to keep up with the high demand of it's job. A small line had formed for the chance to grab a mug. You were beginning to wonder if you could convince the section chief to budget for an entire coffee bar.

You saw Morgan at the front of the line, taking his sweet time adjusting his coffee to the exact way he liked it. When he turned to leave, he stopped by you at the back of the line.

“Now, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to make sure I don’t fall asleep,” you replied.

He raised his eyebrows, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a packet of liquid IV.

“Morgan…” you whined. “Please?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

His stubborn attitude was nice, but also annoying. You rolled your eyes a bit, but accepted the packet. “Thanks,” you said with a heavy sigh.

“I’d rather have you passing out because you need a nap than caffeine induced tachycardia,” he said with enough humor to make you smile, but enough seriousness for you to believe him.

You went back to your desk, added the liquid IV to your water and took a sip. It didn't matter what the flavor was, the sharpness of the electrolyte mixture always made you wince at the first taste. “Better than straight up salt packets,” you commented.

Morgan chuckled. “Don't give me any prank ideas.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” you said, then looked over at the rest of the BAU. “For me at least.”

The two of you shared a smirk before he left the bullpen and you went back to work. The great prank planning would have to wait till later.

---

By the end of the day, you were beyond exhausted. Between your heart rate acting up, a lack of coffee, and actually taking a break for lunch, you didn't get as much work done as you planned. Even Hotch had managed to leave the office before you.

You finished a file and put it on the finished stack, then looked at your to-do stack and sighed. With a weak hand you went to grab one.

“Uh-uh.”

You startled, more alert than you had been for hours, but relaxed when you heard Morgan's familiar laugh.

“Are you trying to send me into a medical episode?” You asked him as he leaned on the edge of your desk.

“Come on,” he didn't answer the question. “I'll drive you home.”

You shook your head. “I've gotta finish-”

“You've gotta sleep.”

With exhausted eyes, you looked back at your friend. His gaze was gentle and caring as always.

After a quiet, “Okay,” he helped you pack up your bag and stand up from your seat. From the time you exited the bullpen, until he helped you into the car, he steadied you through every dizzy episode, kept a light hand on your arm to help you walk straight, and gave you gentle reminders to breathe.

It didn't matter if you were having a good day or a bad day, your best friend would always be there to make sure you got through it.

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

this is long but plz stick with me. i clung to every word u wrote of << the falling >> it makes me happy that u wrote a strong lead. i was able to relate to her… even tho she wanted to give in cuz of the love for joel, she didn’t. i would love if you wrote part #2. i would love it if she didn’t go back to him. ive been there and i know that that’s usually what the heart wants but it’s possible to move on and be happy again… and in a new relationship. well… it took me a while to be in a serious relationship but jumping into something casual made some of my hurt go away. ik the lead is going to europe for some time and as a european i can confirm it’s a fun place where many go to distract themselves… to beginning to end u made me cry cuz it brought an exact scenario (literally the same to the one u wrote) back from my past. im ok now but wow your talent to make me feel everything is amazing. also its not possible now but I was thinking about the cameras in the house and i wanted the lead to give joel one last gift… i mean the alarm system records so… a certain tape can be made. i wanted to vote for revenge with ceo leo but im also glad she was able to pack to leave. ik it’s not what most people want but i sincerely hope she’s able to get a divorce, heal, and find happiness again someday and somewhere else. it takes a lot to leave ur heart behind but joel made his choice and that was to not care about his marriage. thank u and i love everything about ur writing…

My dearest Anon,

Your message made me so emotional, I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel to read something fictional and bring back some of your own memories, especially if they’re that hurtful.. I’m so glad you moved forward and I hope reading this felt more cathartic than painful..

You’d be surprised how many people asked to keep Joel and reader separated.. either because they “hate” Joel, or because getting them back together would make the reader a weak person.

I think human relationships, especially the intimate ones, are so complicated, it’s not just black or white.. That being said, I haven’t decided yet where they’re both going to stand in the future, but I’m gonna give them their peace one way or another..

Thank you so much for taking the time to read something that hits so close to home and I hope you’re having an amazing day 😘😍🫂

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

You're soo sweet thank you so much!! I'll fix some errors and send the angst drabble. Still on the topic of scenes but everytime he says something in a angry tone?? Omfg like imagine you're teasing him and he just raises an eyebrow and says "What's that now?" in THAT tone? WEAK 😩

More Tang “my girl is mad at me I hope I die” erine headcanons

Ok ok but sharing a playlist with tan? Feel like he doesn't listen to music that much so you'll be the one adding most of the songs. At first he'll look like he doesn't really care for it, but when it's only him and lem on a mission, he will pop in one of his earphones and play it while thinking of you and smiling at the silly songs you added. (If you have any songs that remind you of him, please do share!)

This man has no shame doing small things for you. You two are out together and you need to use the toilet? He WILL hold you bag, puts it over his shoulder and all.

Love the 'you’d be best friends as well as a couple' idea. Feel like you'd also gossip about people and stuff (I mean, with a mouth like his, he'll adding so many unnecessary comments just to make you laugh).

I'm sure he keeps a photo of you in his wallet or in his suit. You're on his homescreen too? It'll be a photo he managed to take while you were laughing at a candlelit dinner he took you to.

I don't want to sound like a broken record but I'm so happy I get to write and share my headcanons about this silly brit man I love. Thank you!!  💗 💺 anon

1. ahhh you’re so sweet, thank you honey💓 and YES!!! love LOVE angry tan, or snarky or cold talking tan. what’s that now is just 😩🫠😩 good lord

2. heheheheaaahhh

3. omg shut up I love it!!!! and you know, ive never really thought of it, I kinda feel like oasis, possibly arctic monkeys kinda vibe, but not them. like kinda old (not really) english bands. but I do have a feeling he possibly dabbles in classical music from time to time, he’s got that rich man money vibe as well as the hard cockey lad vibe. the dude is multifaceted, so I think his music is the same. gonna say this now, I feel like he hates jazz

4. YES!! he’s not ashamed to hold your bag, like he would hold it normally, not like holding away from him making it clear it’s not his. hes like yeah it’s my girls bag what about it rather than, this is not my bag, im making it clear this is hers. especially if you go shopping, he’s holding the bags (and paying for it too hehe)

5. omg yes I love it!! I feel like he lets you talk and get things off your chest, but every now and then he’ll add something and back you up. I think I said this in my hc’s, but I like to believe he secretly loves watching ‘girly’ movies with you. he pretends he hates it, but if you put on clueless or she’s the man, he’s sitting down and watching it. or like “really, again?” you’re like “yeah, so? … you’re hovering, just sit down” and he doesn’t say anything, staring at the screen and silently taking a seat next to you HWHEHWH

6. ARGHHH OMG yes!! not to get all sad, but he has a picture of you in an accessible place (in case he yk dies, so it’s the last thing he sees🥲) feel like he has an album on his phone of you and dates and places you’ve been to

7. you’re so cute, and it’s really no problem. you have such great ideas and thank you for sharing them 💗

[aettuddae]

SERING KISS!!! guys admit it, SERING 🗣🔛🔝‼️

alexa play how sweet by nwjns please

im literally screaming (in my head bc it's almost 2am) and kicking my feet in bed rn. ive been waiting for this moment for yearsss. my ship 🥺❤

idk much abt dogs but serim gives me silly black cat vibes, ik ppl see black cats as serious and quiet but some just act like burnt orange cats. and they're just so silly n cute. ningning is def calico, a little silly and orange but also serious when she has to be. I love her sm. also the crying cat pic w its paw in its mouth :3 hehe

as much as I love jimin, toxic yuri, and angst i need jimin to stay away from serim bc she hurts her so much, T^T just let her be happy bro or stop sending mixed ass signals and fix ur shit first.

sorry for the inactivity, ive been mourning the fact that it could have been me watching her live in hk for the concert for the last couple of weeks. my mom and bro went to china and hk to visit family recently I only said no to going bc I can't stand my brother. I should have gone T^T ningning looked so good, I could have def ignored my bro for what, a month? (that's a lie, we can barely sit together for dinner without arguing) I COULD HAVE SEEN NING SAY SMTH IN CANTO!!! smth abt pretty girls that speak the same language has me so weak(mando and canto r similar enough,,,)

haiii, hru btw? hope ur day has been as nice as mine ever since reading the new update :3 hope u have a great day/night and that both sides of ur pillows r nice n cool!!!<3 also sorry for always writing so much. I can't stop yapping

- ur friendly neighbourhood 🦈

i wrote it for those like you who deserved to live sering to the fullest ✊🏼

she could be a silly black cat, i guess. at the end, how jimin perceives her is up to her, the rest we can have our own opinions 😅 THE CRYING CAT PIC, i love you ningning imitating the crying cat every 5 seconds, it gives me a lot of joy

but she's staying away.. kind of.. lowkey.. i mean, she gifted her a hedgehog, but other than that 🫴🏼

i hate to say this to you, but the hong kong concert has probably been the best one so far 😔 but it's understandable, if you went with your brother you would have probably not been able to enjoy it fully, it would have had a bittersweet feeling knowing someone else ruined a great experience for you. it wasn't the moment, anon, you will get to see them in the future, i'm sure !! at an opportunity where your enjoyment and happiness won't be compromised 😌

i'm fine, overall, having a decent streak 👍🏻 happy to know you're doing okay, anon, i'll have a good day, and hopefully you too. take care of yourself, and don't worry about the yapping ! 🫂

[annanother-thing]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@starquestingfordrarry ahhh thank you for tagging me, these are such good questions!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41 +1 unrevealed +6 that ive hidden

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

238,631

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only harry potter atm but i have written other fandoms before and i am psyching myself up to write some pjo/hoo next year

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Best Kept - drarry, secret relationship, EWE, E, 7k

How Does Your Garden Grow - wolfstar, modern au, T, 1.6k (this was the first hp fic i ever wrote back in 2016!)

Sparks - drarry, soulmates au, secret relationship, E, 20k

White in the Darkness - wolfstar, established relationship, possessive!remus, E, 7k

Maybe Love Could Be A Verb - wolfstar, getting together, idiots to lovers, E, 16k (my first fic coming back to fandom last year!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not as much as i should... i hate replying to comments when my work is still anon and i swear this year all ive done is anon fests and then i forget to reply when reveals happen and then my inbox gets super full and i get overwhelmed...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oooh probably Invisible, Inescapable - ghost!reg, house magic, 16k, M - or Non-Existent Hearts Still Bleed - mostly canon compliant Pansy character study, 8k, M

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhh most of them? i dont tend to write sad things

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. all of it. mostly queer but i have done some m/f but mostly in triads and that one tomione dead dove. currently in the middle of kinktober so smut is on the brain

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no theyve never been my vibe

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no thank god

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! well, someone asked, idk if they actually did it. it was my pansromione choir fic from pride fest

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in the day i co-wrote one with my then-best friend - i think it was the first fic i ever uploaded...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

nope. impossible question. my ogs are wolfstar and drarry, but i also adore pansmione/pansromione, fleurinny, ginsy, jegulus, jegulily... so many ships so little time...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i tried to do nano with original fiction several times and none of them really stuck, which im sad about because some of the ideas were banging - lesbian vampires through time, anyone?

16. What are your writing strengths?

ok this is the hardest question by far...

i think i am quite good at the introspection, and characters having to think through their situations, figure out how they actually feel. i blame all the therapy...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

confidence and run on sentences. i was editing a fic yesterday and found a sentence that was nearly half a page...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i dont mind it, but i think it has to fit the story. but one of my pet peeves is when people but dialogue in another language and then put the translation in the chapter notes - i have a goldfish brain and by the time i get to the end of the chapter i have forgotten what the dialogue was about

19. First fandom you wrote for?

kingsman back in like 2014/5

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

dont make me choose between my babies! maybe the one that i cant talk about yet (i feel its the most up to date representation of my writing at the moment), maybe my wolfstar witcher!au (longest uploaded fic, and i really struggled to finish it but im so proud of myself for getting there), maybe my soulmate fest one (i was so not happy with it but everyone seemed to like it and it reminds me that i am my own worst critic)

Tagging: @gloivy @uncannycerulean @silently--here @tracingpatternswrites <3

[between-thepages]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @gabetheunknown, thank you <3

how many works do you have on ao3?

Currently 88, I am determined to make it to 100 before the end of the year.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

29,604

3. what fandoms do you write for?

The Witcher Books/Games, Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings and sometimes Endeavour/Inspector Morse when the fancy strikes.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In the Morning (Glorestor)

Dance to the Firelight (Rorveth)

Eating Love (Rorveth)

Mirror Image (Rorveth)

Body and Soul (Yenralt)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I respond to them, I love comments, but I'm slow. Also, there are only so many variations of "Thank you" one can type in a day before it starts feeling ridiculous. I promise I'll get to your comments before Christmas!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my Iorveth/Cedric drabble from last spring. I had to cope with the Ending of Lady of the Lake.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Beautiful like Starlight, but even that isn't really all that happy... I am writing a followup to it at the moment though.

8. do you get hate on any fics?

So far, only from a certain someone for shipping the wrong characters, but i usually have my comments restricted to logged-in users, so leaving Anon hate isn't really possible.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I will write everything once and then decide if I'll do it again xD Expect it to be at least somewhat kinky.

Also, it has to fit into a drabble or two, I can't really write long-form smut.

10.do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't yet, I will write a Witcher/Silm crossover one day, just so I can get some of the ladies to meet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know, but I doubt my drabbles are interesting enough to steal.

12.have you ever had a fic translated?

Not officially, but I am trying to translate some of my fics myself. No idea when I'll be done there, though.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

14.what's your all time favorite ship?

As a multi-shipper, all time favourites are hard, because all i need are three compelling arguments and I start shipping another pairing xD

I guess Fingon/Maedhros is one of the pairings where I am least likely to read a fic if they are partnered with someone else.

15.what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll burn with a light of my own, because I started it for a flashfic challenge right before my silm hyperfixation hit full force, so Witcher is a bit on the back burner at the moment. It also needs some serious plot outline to develop further, so the continuation really depends on my interest the next few months.

16.what are your writing strengths?

I have been told I am good at writing short stories, which is great because I love writing drabbles.

17.what are your writing weaknesses?

long plots, probably. I always struggle with reaching wordcounts and making my stories interesting.

18.thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the language and usage. I love things like terms of endearment in another language (I made up a nickname for Isengrim to use for Iorevth, after all), but I do sometimes get annoyed with the random elvish words in Tolkien fics.

The best use of other languages is if it is used to confuse the POV character, but then it has to be somewhat consistent.

19.first fandom you wrote for?

Sunrise Avenue xD But I never published any of it. The first fanfic I published was for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

20. favorite fic you've written?

She came in through the window because it got me into a new kind of rarepair hell <3

Tagging @she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats, @aretuzagradschooldropout and @gleamingsilence, I'm late to this so I really hope I haven't accidentally tagged someone who already did this <3

[babygirlboeser]

thank you love. i kinda have a headache cuz i’ve been crying all day. what about luke taking care of you when you’re not feeling well?

- luke anon

oh i also need this rn ive been feeling really sick all day😭 luke would be the sweetest taking care of u. he hates seeing u in any pain and it breaks his heart a bit to see u hurting. he 100% babies you. cooks for u, goes to the store to get whatever u may need, so many cuddles and kisses, brings everything to u because he wants u to get rest. he reminds u that u have to be drinking water and if u hadn’t been able to eat anything that u should try and at least have something small. u tell him u don’t want anything and all u wanna do is lay in bed and do nothing, but he’s so adamant. he knows he can’t force u but he does what he can to try and get u to have at least some water. keeps a drink and a snack on your nightstand just in case u do want something. while u may not want to, he talks u into having a nice warm shower because he knows it’ll feel nice. sometimes if ur feeling really shitty he gets worried you might pass out or get dizzy, so he either makes u leave the door open or showers with u. if he knows ur too weak to do it yourself he’ll gladly help u in the shower and help u get ready for bed. luke will lay with u as long as u need and give u cuddles, which always help. whether u wanna be little or big spoon, lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, have him lay on ur chest while u play with his hair, etc, whatever u want goes. he’s at ur beck and call, always, but especially when ur feeling shit he will do absolutely anything for u. and if ur sick he’ll still cuddle and doesn’t really care if he gets it too. he knows cuddles make u feel better which makes it entirely worth it. he hates leaving when u don’t feel good but if he absolutely has to, because of practice or games or whatever it may be, he makes sure you’re as taken care of as possible before he goes. leaves meds and water with u, makes sure there’s something for u to eat, brings u a fresh cold cloth, or the heat pad, or whatever u might even possibly need. he makes sure ur comfortable and taken care of because he doesn’t want u to have to get up any more then necessary. when he gets home he’s getting ready for bed asap and climbing in next to u, giving u all the cuddles and sweet little kisses. overall he just fucking hates when his girl isn’t feeling well and does whatever he can to make u feel better.

[gu6chan]

Aaaa I'm so happy you wanna hear the ramble! Fellow Caionard minds united,,,, here goes:

Leonard -> Caim "To love you is to sacrifice myself, to become the cage locking you in, to be the leash you pull on. If I can direct all of you into myself, no one else has to get hurt." Plus the belief of being unworthy of receiving any positive emotions, and Caim's love, no matter how twisted it is, is more than he feels he deserves, yet it also serves as a punishment for him for all his crimes (some sorta "you are a cruel but just punishment" thing's going on here)

Caim -> Leonard "You are weak, and pathetic, and naive and loving like a child. Like a naive child, a child I used to be before everything turned for the worst. I hate the reminder of who I could've been, of what I was before I was forced to change. A mirror into a happier alternate me. Weak, foolish, and stupid. And kinder than I have ever been. Kind enough not to push me away, even if it is your way to punish yourself. You would take my hand made of swords? You would embrace my bloody and tainted heart? Though it hurts you, the blood you bleed warms us both. Only for a moment, maybe, but it is warm nonetheless."

OKAY first of all anon i am so sorry its taken me a couple days to reply, for the longest time i had no idea HOW to really even begin because???? when you said ramblings I was EXPECTING peak but like i clearly was NOT fucking prepared for it BECAUSE?????? HOW DID YOU COOK SO HARD??????? literally im going to be thinking about this for the rest of my LIFE i havent stopped thinking about it since you sent it i told my bud about it in private when i first got it i was SO flabbergasted like??? and like even now i still dont really know how to respond in a way that like,,,, really encapsulates just how fucking FERAL this made me to the point i feel a bit bad about responding at a time im exhausted and can't think right kashfgksdhbjfj but hopefully these screenshots of me rambling about it to my friend help encapsulate just how INSANE this made us like

so to break down:

anon, the caionard community (3-4 people including me and you) are obsessed with this and hope you have exactly what you need tomorrow

my buddy says they owe you their life and that they think you're the GOAT (this is true!!!!!!!!!!)

i really don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said other than that this HAS gotten me through work since the day you sent it in and it's getting me through work tomorrow and also definitely the day after that

you DID mention that you never got around to making art for this and im CERTIANLY not the strongest conceptual/metaphorical(??? i dont know how its called) artist, but like.... if you'd be okay with it and i admit i might never get to finishing it myself i would LOVE to do a doodle or so of or based around this concept like im insane im INSANE over this i love it so much........

anon by any chance if you write fanfic or so this alone would go hard as FUCK on AO3 i will be your biggest fan and make t-shirts and little caionard baseball caps with this whole rant on the brim written in your honour, i really wish i could say how much i love this and your writing.................... "the blood you bleed warms us both. only for a moment, maybe, but it is warm nonetheless" i hope you know im like a whole different person reading that i am NEVER going to get over that and have been cycling it around in my brain since the moment you sent that in............. im going to DIE

is there anything else i can say that i can reasonably put into words...... i think to cap off, the idea of leonard feeling undeserving of ANY love, even if it is as "punishment" coming from the hands of someone he is so inherently REPULSED by (I refrain from saying hates, i feel like that's part of it but oversimplifies it too much lmao) is such an interesting concept i haven't considered the psychology of and it INTRIGUES me ive also been spinning that concept around in my head since you mentioned it...... i havent drawn any strong "conclusions' or, again, any coherent lines of thought from that idea, but i am OBSESSED with it and will be sure to yap about it either via a reblog or its own separate post the SECOND i get anywhere further than "woagh.......... cool................................ :0" either way, thank you SO much for sharing this anon, your writing is fucking amazing and i havent been left this shell-shocked in a LONG while, this was so refreshing in a way i cant really describe but you are lifting the whole caionard community on your shoulders, and are ALWAYS welcome in my home <3 thank you so much again for choosing to share this with me, anon, it's an honour QwQ/"

[theramblingvoid]

Different anon. If i am the blog you and another have been vaguing about, ive opened up my own anon asks so if a direct approach is too awkward, there's that.

If ive been radicalized, i didnt notice. In all honestly i just dont think anyone should be dying and ive never understood war. Ive been called naive before and i doubt ive changed much since, so im willing to listen, and i hate arguing.

Whatever's going on feels too complicated to put into an ask or even a post and i feel like my words always fall short of my intent to begin with (or end up in the opposite direction). Im not even sure if i should send this so im going to end it here

Hello anon! It's perfectly alright that you sent this and I respect you a lot for doing so. I am admittedly extremely sleep deprived right now, so my words and thoughts might be a little jumbled, so I'll do my best.

Long post ahead, but I think it's very worth it.

The main couple of issues I've seen with the posts you've reblogged (if you are the same person) is that, first of all, they either minimize or blatantly ignore the death toll and suffering in Palestine, and secondly, they tend to link human rights activism (a separate thing from political support) as well as political support of Palestine to having antisemetic motivations 100% of the time (for example, that post claiming that scrolling down on "any" blog that speaks up in support will reveal antisemetism). This is harmful because of the leaps in logic that the posts are designed to make you overlook. It makes a false equivalency between caring about human rights of a population and a stance in favour of a terrorist group working from their country, and then claims that is the same as a hatred of a cultural/religious group that is much more expansive and varied than just the country of Israel. The aim is to have readers accept these jumps so that they stop believing anyone cares out of true empathy, and start associating people speaking out against the killing with antisemetic bigotry.

Similarly to a lot of conservative talking points, these posts also tend to fixate on terminology and technicalities to either minimize an issue, or make it look like something it often isn't. For example, a large number of the posts get quite angry about the current events being called a genocide and claim that it's been definitively proven not to be, but that is blatant misinformation. There is disagreement as to whether Israel's actions qualify as genocide or if ethnic cleansing or a variety of other terms might apply, but it has never to my knowledge been proven in court not to be. They have very proveably been systematically driving Palestinians from their homes in a pattern moving south, hitting civilian targets such as hospitals and refugee camps, and using many other tactics typical of genocide, but in order to be officially named that there has to be intent to wipe out a culture or group and intent is hard to prove. If you'd like more information on where the debate stands, you can find it in a fairly readable format here. (Apologize for using Wikipedia as a source, I am quite tired.) All that aside, though: treating what this mass killing is called as more important than the fact that it is happening is a distraction tactic and an overall weak defense against how horrific the scope of what's being done to Palestine is.

I know this post is getting long, but if you don't mind bearing with me for one more moment I can share some of the news I've seen that the people who focus on tearing down activists are overlooking. I have spent a good chunk of time collecting info from credible sources like CNN, the United Nations, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders, and I highly recommend reading a few of these articles all the way through. (They are very easy reads and shouldn't contain anything descriptive enough to be triggering, based on a quick scan by me.)

- 47.3% of Gaza's population is under 18 (this source also contains a lot of useful information on the ongoing effects of oppression in Palestine prior to this year) (keep in mind that it was written in 2023 so the death toll numbers are no longer relevant)

- Israel is a top 20 global military power with an estimated 670,000 active military personnel. The total population of the Gaza strip in 2022 was only an estimated 2,375,259, with no official military.

- the UN states 34,622 Palestinian people have been killed in Gaza since October 7th, including 7,797 children, 4,959 women, 1,924 elderly, and 10,006 men. This does not include an estimated 10,000 not recovered from the rubble. Only just over 1200 Israeli people have been killed in the same time period, the majority on October 7th.

- Israel has been unlawfully attacking residential buildings in areas they promoted as safe for civilians to evacuate to

- Air strikes by Israel on refugee camps

- Israel has banned Gaza residents from collecting rainwater

- Israel has used drones that play recordings of babies crying and people screaming for help to lure out and kill people who come to investigate

- Israel is blocking humanitarian aid shipments containing essential food, medical equipment, and generators from entering Palestine

- Israel targets journalists who try to document and broadcast what is going on

Antisemetism is an undeniable fact that is ongoing in the world around us and is causing active harm. There are no doubt people using this conflict as an excuse to further their own bigotry, and the people suffering from that have every right to speak on it and point out ways it might fly under the radar. When they do it by minimizing the gravity of the tragedy Palestinians are experiencing right now, though, and by implying dissent against a brutal colonizing government is the same as antisemetism, they are only making the issue worse by attaching the struggles of real individual Jewish people worldwide to the defense of sickening acts against humanity by Israel.

I hope this has been informative and kind as it was intended to be, and I hope you can leave better equipped to spot the differences between honest spreading of awareness and veiled bigotry, and decide which approaches to the situation you would rather show support for. Thank you again for opening yourself up to discussion like this. I think it's a deeply valuable and necessary tool against the Internet's current decent into echo chambers.

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[manie-sans-delire-x]

Lol you’re actually not hot. Or loved.

Lol look anon, I dont know what your problem with me is, but lets address this on-going issue. I literally dont even know who you are, and your one-sided obsession with putting me down in any way you can is getting pretty old and by this point, its past pathetic. Youre getting desperate, grasping at every single thing you could say "nuh uh actually youre dumb/ugly/etc" to me about. Its not the first time someone has become obsessed with me. But yeah I dont think about you at all, and you clearly think about me quite a lot. You are so filled with hate and bitterness that Im genuinely starting to feel a bit sorry for you, because happy, healthy people dont feel the need to do this.

You are too cowardly to even come off anon. How do you feel after sending these messages? Proud of yourself? Ive worked with kids who curse you out everyday and physically attack you, so you think you accomplished something with doing that? Your attempts at making me sad is a gnats bite, sorry. Youll have to do a lot worse than some meany words.

(Ok wait something Ive genuinely been curious about- You know those typical 10 IQ bully tropes in movies? What do people like you think when you watch those scenes? Do you agree with the bully? Do you even realize youre the same? Do you realize everyone else who watches hates the bully and thinks they have low intelligence and are pathetic and weak? Like no seriously Im actually asking, I wanna know how self-aware people like you are. Because seriously, look at what you just send me. Its like a lazy, unoriginal writer writing a schoolyard bullys dialogue. "Youre actually not hot. Or loved." Heheheeee!) (Unless you are actually are a middle or high schooler, which, if thats the case, makes a lot of sense. If thats the case please let me know, as I would talk to a kid differently to how I would speak to an adult. Otherwise I will continue to assume you are an adult.)

You clearly are projecting some kind of personal issue onto me, I think you may be perceiving me to be someone that I am not, or think something that I do not, and with all sincerity, I suggest you look internally to resolve your clear unhappiness and lack of self-confidence. Being a bully never looks good on anyone, and it wont make you any happier or get you what you want. In fact it will only lower your self-esteem, because no matter what you portray outside, you see yourself doing this, so inside you will always know that you are a pathetic, jealous loser who bullies strangers behind the shield of anon on tumblr.com lmao. Using your one life well I see.

Is this some misguided attempt at asking for help? You must want something from me, to keep coming to bother me. Im always willing to counsel, even for you, even though youve been nothing but vile to me for no reason. If you want to talk about something thats going on, you can dm me. Im willing to start over. If youre polite, Ill be polite. Its that simple.

Otherwise maybe do something that you can feel proud of, that makes you feel good when you go to sleep tonight. Create art, show kindness to others, meditate, do something for your future. Read a book. Go help your mother.

If you choose to continue this bad behavior and send more hate messages, I will not be responding and they will simply be deleted.

Try to have a good day today, yeah? Im going to go make a blackberry and vanilla milkshake, would you like one?

[xplrvibes]

“People getting mad at Colby for random shit is just a normal Tuesday, at this point”

whaaat?? ive heard this a lot actually, like he’s the one everyone bashes. for what, tho? he seems so quiet on social media and he doesn’t have an active yt channel anymore so what’s he doing that causes people to have a go at him? is he kicking puppies on a secret insta acct I haven’t seen?

genuinely i’m curious 🧐- aussie anon (also i realise i am bombarding you with messages and i do apologise)

Ooooh boy is that a loaded question, lol.

I do want to say for the record that Colby also gets a lot of love, and a lot of attention. He is a magnet. I equate him to a bug light, and everyone around him are just moths getting sucked into the light.

It's scary lol.

But anyway, with that love and that attention and that obsession comes a dark side. A lot of people are obsessed with him on the hate side of the scale, whether it be because of jealousy or insecurity or just fomo cause they can't have him or whatever, there's just a lot of hard feelings there sometimes to go along with the love.

He's very polarizing, I guess. People will either jump in front of the train for him or push him onto the tracks. No in between.

Now, he has gotten himself into some controversies here and there - nothing earth shattering, but there have been some things that have happened over the years that he's had to address and correct. And he does; he addresses stuff and tries to smooth over ruffled feathers and tries to fix things. And while that's nice, in some cases, it also kind of shows people that he has this desperate need to be liked and he will try his damndest to stay liked, and that just brings some sharks circling around from time to time. There have been some really pointless "cancelations" that have gone on over the years, and Colby as the pretty popular one who is desperate to please tends to take the brunt of it.

Sam skates cause Sam usually ignores shit (present situation excepted), but also cause people tend to be so obsessed and so focused on Colby that they kind of ignore Sam or even actively protect Sam at Colby's expense. That's also part of the resentment bred against Colby, btw - some people think that in order to lift Sam up, Colby has to get knocked down. So they treat Sam with kid gloves on one hand while consistently holding Colby's feet to the fire with the other. To me, that defeats rhe purpose, cause you're still just obsessed with and showering more attention onto Colby. But whatever lol.

There are also people who just don't like Colby, whether because of some of his past controversies, or because they don't like his personality or whatever...which is fine, like whoever you like and dislike whoever you dislike - but because he's so damn magnetic, they can't just stay away from him. They gotta hate watch him with the hopes that they can witness his downfall in real time, which means they're waiting for something to happen that they can use against him at any point in time.

Anyway, the reason Colby is so quiet on socials these days is because years of this shit (and the death threats and the meddling in his life and the bullying disguised as "jokes") got to him and he pulled way back for his own sanity and mental health. I actually don't know if that did more harm or more good to the way people treat him, but that's why he's not as active on certain platforms anymore.

That was super long and kind of all over the place, sorry! TLDR: he's a polarizing figure with a magnetic personality that makes him way more popular than some people think is warranted and has a weakness in the form of a desperate need to be liked.

[leclercenjoyer]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

helloooo i was tagged by my darlings @boxboxbrioche @vicsy and @golden-fairylights

1. How many works do you have on ao3

12 total, including 1 on anon! (anon because it is unfinished and so no one can hold me acountable)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

36,202! im baby

3. What fandoms do you write for?

formula one babyyyyyy

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

something borrowed (265 kudos)

no poor substitute (261 kudos)

tip of the tongue (252 kudos)

treat with care (216 kudos)

helping hand (143 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i want to but i never know what to say 😭😭😭 somebody please help me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably muscle memory, i think thats the only one ive written that doesnt have a happy or hopeful ending

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

almost all of them are happy ending but i think anything, everything might be the most explicitly happy ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i havent thus far but this may change

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do!! most of what i write is in the realm of what i would call "tenderhorny" because thats what i enjoy writing, porn with feelings. thats the most fun thing to write for me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i havent!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 😭

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not yet!!! if anyone... wants to... hit me up...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO BUT I WANT TO SO BAD im planning a very special fic with a dear friend, for when i am freed of my school obligations... and possibly another with another dear friend... i wanna play in the sandbox with people...

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i am a pierresteban girlie through and through. they gripped me by the throat when i was less than two months in and they havent let go

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well. my unfinished anon wip sdjhkjsd but there are... so many wips in my folders that ive started and abandoned that i doubt will ever see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

ive been told my writing feels very grounded and in-body, and im very deliberate with my word choices when im trying to create a mood

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

once again being deliberate with my word choice means i agonize over the smallest sentences 😭 and i have "say as much as possible in as few words as possible" disease so i often struggle to like. Elaborate. and i am the slowest writer on this planet i think.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if the POV character doesn't understand what is being said, keep it in the language its said in. if the POV character understands what is being said, just say "blah blah blah," he says in [language]. thats my hot take. i dont know if its particularly hot. is this even what is being asked? i have holes in my brain.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ive written assorted snippets for many but f1 is the first fandom where ive written and actually finished and published fic.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

its a tie between muscle memory and something borrowed, the former because it took me forever and im so proud to have finished it and how it came out, and the latter because it was my first fic and my baby and i could not have dreamed of the reception it got, its so special to me and everyone was so kind to me and made me believe i could actually Do This

i dont know who all has done it already 😭 if you see this and you want to do it consider yourself tagged

[lulu-nightbon]

Why don’t you ignore the hate you get? If you don’t give them any attention and just delete them they’ll go away eventually

Also you can block anons too if they’re all that persistent!

oh i tried that. that made it worse. and then they found a sideblog of mine that is very uh... sensitive, i guess? to me at least. they found it through the reblogs of the post i made asking for enough money to get out of my current living situation (as it is... not the best. to put it lightly.) because i reblogged it on all my blogs and uh... well, let's just say that they're still upset over something that happened a month ago that was resolved between all parties actually involved, not to mention they decided to deadname me in my own inbox and just casually be transphobic. i have received multiple anons of uh... disapproval for even having that blog, and let's just say the transphobia has only gotten worse (even if they are pulling out weak shit for it, ive seen better from the "we can always tell" crowd that almost always end up being accidental allies). i was deleting them but if they're gonna keep going i dont really see the point, i dont exactly get a lot of inbox messages even with people not using anon, so...

plus, they've been pulling out more and more stops with it. they'll probably just keep going farther, and it's not like i ever thought i didn't deserve it, so. they'll just keep going. and i just won't answer them. keep them around as reminders.