#these fan fictions are bad for a number of reasons

[mimisempai]

Just a little longer

Summary

For once, it's Aziraphale who wants to stay in bed longer. The problem is that they're expecting visitors, and Crowley has to use a lot of persuasion to get the angel to get up.

Notes

I love a needy angel (and Crowley too)

On Ao3

Rating G -  524 words

"Angel... we really need to get up..."

Crowley tried unsuccessfully to free himself from the grip of Aziraphale's arms around his waist and chuckled before saying, "I can't believe I'm the one telling you this."

Aziraphale grunted and buried his face further into Crowley's neck.

The demon chuckled again.

"If I wasn't sure I was in my own body, I'd think we'd swapped bodies again."

He felt the angel's lips quiver against his skin as the angel smiled.

Crowley almost felt bad for being the voice of reason when Aziraphale, for once, indulged in a lie-in and enjoyed the moment.

Still, he tried to pull away from the angel's embrace, but Aziraphale held on even tighter.

"Angel, you're going to break my ribs!"

The angel grumbled against him, "I don't want you to get up."

"But we both have to get up, since half of Whickber Street is coming to visit."

"Maggie, Nina and Muriel aren't half the street."

"Considering the number of words they speak per minute, they might as well be."

Aziraphale finally loosened his embrace and, pulling back a little, replied sulkily, "I'll only agree to get up if you give me a kiss to cheer me on."

A needy angel was, of course, something Crowley could not resist, so he replied softly, "How could I refuse such a prayer?"

He took the angel's face between his hands and pressed his lips to his own, letting the kiss linger a bit before withdrawing gently. That didn't stop Aziraphale from whimpering as Crowley moved away.

Crowley coaxed him gently, "Come on, Angel, knowing you, you'll want everything to be perfect for their arrival, so it's best to have time to get everything ready.

He gently released Aziraphale's hands from around his waist, but then the angel wrapped them around his neck before pulling him closer and stealing a kiss faster than the demon could react.

Aziraphale took his time, and only when they were both out of breath did he agree to let Crowley pull away. Between gasps, he said, licking his lips, "Now we can get up."

Crowley shook his head in amusement, leaned forward and planted a light kiss on Aziraphale's forehead, then, letting his hand linger on the angel's cheek, said softly, "Stay a little while as I prepare breakfast."

He planted one last light kiss on Aziraphale's lips and rose before the angel could protest.

The last vision Crowley had before closing the door was of Aziraphale gently touching the lips he had just kissed, cheeks slightly flushed and eyes shining.

As for Aziraphale, he watched Crowley leave and sighed as the bedroom door closed behind him.

The sun was already high in the sky.

He knew Crowley was right and he needed to get up, but he let himself fall back onto his pillow before coming around and pulling the demon's pillow towards him, burying his face in it with pleasure. 

After all, Crowley had told him he still had some time.

Inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of the demon in the pillow, the angel giggled slightly.

At worst, there was nothing a little miracle couldn't fix.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

South Downs cottage series : here

Ineffable fan fictions Masterpost : here

[olderthannetfic]

sorry it didn't entirely occur to me that race play wasn't inherently racist. Guess I literally should've just googled that to see, flew over my head. Wasn't intending to be bait or whatever, I was genuinely confused what goes too far in fiction or not, since you could write practically anything including immoral stuff. It was hard to wrap my head around and entirely forgot POC could write stuff that would be considered racist if a white person did it. My bad I understand the reasoning now. Again sorry was genuinely just curious cuz I'm not a "professional" in what's right or not (I usually follow the majority to determine what's right, I'm a sheep, my biggest fear is to be offensive in any way so I try to listen to people who know their stuff and follow), terms and complicated words (at least complicated to me) tend to go over my head. Perhaps I should've used a tonetag to show I was being genuine in my response and meant to be curious and not to harm. I apologize sorry for making you mad have a nice day/night afternoon :) I really appreciate the work you put in this blog, it's very informational for me

--

Oh god. You're in earnest? Well, in that case, you were doing a pitch-perfect imitation of the people you've been reading, and those people are annoying.

--

It's fiction. Who cares what's in it?

The thing that makes it matter is how the fiction is disseminated and the whole context around it. For example, media aimed at young children is held to higher standards because four-year-olds often aren't that competent at telling fiction from reality or understanding that depiction isn't endorsement.

Mainstream US TV shows have millions of viewers. If they reinforce mainstream unconscious prejudices, that tends to encourage the audience to continue unchecked in those beliefs.

Weird niche porn or fanfic on AO3 have tiny audiences, often deal with things that are already contentious, and are labeled as non-mainstream in the first place by their very nature.

"But what if people write immoral fiction?" is itself an unethical position. It is the domain of the religious right, radfems, and other assholes who believe in thought crimes.

Yes, sheep do follow these people. This is an unethical behavior, but it is common.

The tyranny of the majority is not a good thing. The fact that a large number of people on social media say that such-and-such makes them feel gross is not an excuse for them to tell a smaller group with "gross" tastes what they're allowed to do in their own circles. Lots of people are horny over weird shit. This is fine.

The fear of ever offending anyone is a prison that will cause you to make bad choices.

Genuine harm is bad, but lots of people are offended at the drop of a hat. Yes, this goes for nonwhite people too, and it definitely goes for idiots white knighting in fandom spaces and going "You can't write X about characters of color! You can't write Y! Everything is problematic!"

As has been discussed on here many times, a lot of fans, including nonwhite fans, find that kind of behavior stifling to the point where they can't write about those characters at all. The response is often a huffy "Well, they shouldn't feel like that." But they do feel like that. It's not on purpose. Most people feel like that, to be honest. Living in a fishbowl has a chilling effect on art just like being afraid of offending paralyzes you yourself.

Offensiveness is highly dependent on context. Not only will it vary with your cultural background, but a great writer can handle material and make it feel nuanced, while a crummy writer will fall flat on their face with the same material.

If we are too precious about "Nobody should ever offend anyone", we're calling for all fans to publicly disclose their demographic and for all fans to be extremely skilled. Pity the poor, dumb teenager who just wants to write about their black blorbos because they are black themselves... and a shitty writer... who likes sex pollen.

If you look again, you will notice that a lot of fandom drama around offensiveness boils down to "You have a rape kink and that's not okay".

The bottom line, anon, is that fandom has a bullying problem. The internet has a bullying problem. People who are too scared to have their own stance on what's offensive or what's correct behavior are easily weaponized in bullying campaigns. This is the problem with being a sheep. You'll reblog shit saying "Well, I'm not sure, but this sounds important..." and then it turns out to be a smear campaign. Or maybe you personally won't do that, but you will stay silent when you should speak out.

Doing the right thing often involves offending people.

Look, anon, I've been canceled before for supposedly being "fandom's worst racist", and yet there are a bunch of fans of color in my comments section because they're tired of prissy jackasses who won't ever expose themselves by having an opinion, think it's more important to never be wrong than to have a conversation and risk changing their minds, who think only one very specific, very American, and very era/platform/fandom-specific standard is okay, and who hate on kinky fanfic day in and day out.

--

To interact with other humans is to risk offending someone. Yes, I think it's on all of us to at least recognize extremely blatant racist stereotypes, but that doesn't mean agreeing with every single moron who walks up and goes "I had a yucky feeling, and now that's your problem."

A lot of this pearl clutching makes one think of that line from Cold Comfort Farm:

"I saw something nasty in the woodshed!"

The matriarch of the family took to her bed years ago, claiming to have been prostrated by the sight of some unnamed horror (in context, probably people fucking). For years, she has used this supposed ~harm~ to bully and control the rest of the family.

Fandom is also full of this behavior lately. "Other people's fiction made me shake and cry!!!" is not actual harm. It is, at best, people who are genuinely upset but who need to take it up with a mental health professional. Very often, however, it is shitty, manipulative, abusive behavior that is entirely intentional. Do not fall for it.

Some people are just children and need to be told "No."

[elllisaaa]

ONE OF THE GIRLS - G. GUNIL

KINKTOBER DAY 1 - BIG DICK + SMOKING

SUMMARY : you were a groupie, and you weren't afraid of admitting it. and you didn't mind that you probably were just one of the girls, that gunil had surely fucked hundreds of fans at this same exact spot. because it felt good, and you didn't want him to stop.

-> pairing : rockstar!gunil x fem!reader

-> words count : 1.6k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : dom!gunil x sub!reader, hair pulling, smoking, flirting, teasing, semi-public sex, oral (m. receiving), use of 'slut', dirty talk, degradation, gunil has a massive dick, deepthroating, cum eating, face fucking, a zest of angst towards the end

+ the way i'm depicting gunil does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | xdh masterlist | kinktober 2024

“- Hurry up Y/N, or my friend won’t be able to make us cut the line !

- Coming, coming !”

You were just finding your favorite lip gloss as your best friend yelled at you that she was going to leave without you. You hurried down the stairs, trying to not trip on your feet because of the big platforms and heels of your boots. But since she had the chance to get VIP tickets for your favorite rock band, you obviously had to dress up, had to put on these fishnets, this corset, all those accessories that were clicking with your every step and that cute miniskirt. 

The band was starting to get some recognition in the area, getting invited to quite big festivals and able to have concerts in small venues, but they were still underrated enough for you to have a chance to meet them at the end of the show. It was honestly your number two reason for why you wanted to go so bad, why you begged your best friend to get you these tickets. The first reason was obviously that you loved their music so much, but the second was much more carnal. 

Since the first time you saw them performing at a bar, your eyes were caught by the drummer. You always had a thing for men who played an instrument, and the way you could see his muscles flexing while he played, head banging along to the song, sometimes hearing his deep voice singing some words here and there - you quite fell in love on the spot. More likely, your panties got wet, you had to be honest. Plus, he had quite a reputation ; Gunil was known for taking full advantage of his rockstar status to fuck a different girl every night, and let them go just as soon. However, you knew you weren’t in for the long run with him, knew it was only for one night, but others rumors made the thought less hurtful. Every one of the girls he ever slept with were keen on the fact that the drummer had the biggest dick they had ever seen. And that made you curious, you wanted to find out for yourself. 

So you were satisfied with the spot you got : pressed against the front barrier, just below the stage, where you could see them the best. And once the show actually started, you almost forgot about your mission, hypnotized by the music, just excited to be there and to be able to hear your favorite songs live. But even if your eyes went to every member of the band, even if Junhan was insanely skilled, even if Jooyeon’s voice was heavenly, you always came back to Gunil and his bulging biceps, to Gunil and his intense stare that caught yours at one point. It was like all the air was knocked out of your lungs at that moment, as if time stopped. And when he saw the way you were looking at him - probably a mix of amazement and of desperation - a smirk widened on his lips and you almost passed out on the spot. You bit on your lips every time Gunil gulped down some water between songs, wondering what his lips would feel like on yours, on your body. So when the drummer looked at you again later on, you knew you had to make it happen, you knew that you had him right where you wanted him. 

“- You got a lighter ?”

Gunil’s deep voice didn’t even straddle you - you were waiting for him, actually, leaning against the wall, the wind making you shiver but mostly, it was having his gaze on you that made goosebumps come alive on your skin.

“- Yeah, of course.”

You rummaged through your bag and handed him your pink lighter. The drummer chuckled, but he still took it. You tried to not stare at him too much, focusing on your own cigarette while your heart was racing.

“- So, you liked the show ?”

Every time he talked, your panties got wetter, his deep, raspy tone turning you on really bad. You gathered all the courage you had to look him in the eyes, suddenly a little more anxious now that there were no drums, and no music between the two of you. 

“- It was pretty good, yeah. 

- Pretty good, uh ? You were eye-fucking me for the whole concert, I think it’s worth a little more than just that.”

Your cheeks heated up, not prepared for him to be so straightforward but at the same time, he was not lying. You tried to remain unbothered, expiring the toxic air before locking eyes with Gunil again. 

“- Is it a crime ? Not my fault you’re sexy.”

If he was going to play it like that, so were you. And Gunil seemed to like it as he got closer to you, backing you up completely against the wall of the dark alley you were smoking in. He took a hold of your chin between two of his fingers while he blew out the smoke against your face with a smirk that was too attractive for your own good.

“- Is that so ?”

He was whispering against your lips and you could feel how hot his body was, his smell a mix of sweat and tobacco. But you didn’t mind it as Gunil leaned in to kiss you, his mouth demanding and rough. In the blink of an eye, he had you melting against him, not even trying to fight him for dominance. His tongue was dancing with yours sensually, all the pent up excitement from the concert coursing through your veins as you felt his boner pressing against your thigh, making you gasp because the rumors were apparently true. 

“- What’s going on darling ? Surprised ?”

You shook your head as you let yourself slide down on your knees between his legs, and the view from down there was even better. Gunil smirked at you while taking another drag of his cigarette, running one of his big hands through your hair as your own were busy unbuckling his belt. 

“- No, that’s exactly what I wanted. 

- Then get to work.”

And you did, pulling his cock out of his boxer, and you had to admit you were really impressed by his size. You had prepared yourself for him to be big, yes, but not this big. You weren’t even sure you were going to be able to take him whole in your mouth, but you were never one to back up from a challenge. So you looked up at Gunil as you spat on his cock, spreading your saliva along his shaft as you kitten-licked at his tip. 

“- Such a good girl.”

His hoarse voice made you hum against him as you took him further into your mouth, stopping to breathe through your nose and try to relax for what was coming - you were only halfway through and your jaw was already hurting from how big he was. Gunil stayed silent, fingers brushing against your puffed out cheek with a proud smile, and it was enough to encourage you to continue. You took him down your throat slowly, until you had him whole into your mouth, until tears were prickling at the corner of your eyes, trying to stop yourself from gagging around him.

“- Fuck… Your little throat is so tight darling…”

His breath was short, and you were glad to have such an effect on him, starting to bob your head as his fingers tightened around the strands of your hair he had taken a hold of. You tried to keep a slow and deep pace, twisting your tongue around his dick in hopes it would compensate for you not being able to go faster. And Gunil appreciated your efforts, but he needed more. He let his cigarette fall to the floor, pushing on the back of your hair to bury his whole length down your throat, groaning at the way you gagged around him, your hand grabbing at the material of his pants aimlessly. 

“- You’re such a slut, uh ? You came to our concert just for this, right ?”

You whined helplessly around him, and Gunil threw his head back as you hollowed your cheeks despite your cheeks being covered in tears, your mascara leaving black, messy trails on your skin that excited him even more.  He didn’t care about the way he was harshly pulling on your hair, about the way he was roughly fucking your mouth, about the way drool was spilling from the corner of your lips, he was too close to his release to care anymore, his adrenaline from the concert bringing him to the edge quickly. 

“- I’m gonna cum in your pretty mouth.”

You whined again, looking up at him with your big doe eyes, and Gunil couldn’t hold back his groan of pleasure as he kept the eye-contact while he shot his load down your throat, enjoying the way you tried your best to not lose any drop of his cum. You inhaled sharply as he pulled away, coughing a few times as you focused on breathing normally again. 

“- You’re free next weekend ?”

You looked over at him curiously as you wiped off your black tears and reapplied your lipgloss, but hope was making your heart beat pick up again. 

“- Yeah, why ?

- We’re having another concert. If you come, maybe I’ll pick you again.”

The reminder that you were probably the hundredth girl to blow him right there made the taste of victory bitter. But you still nodded at him as he got back to his dressing room, not even sparing you a last glance before the door closed again behind him. And you knew that even if he probably said that to every one of his girls, you knew you would be there next weekend, you knew you would wear an even skimpier outfit to try and entice him to give you more. You knew it was a bad idea, but you were going to yes every time. 

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations.

xdh masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@lala-----------lala

kinktober taglist (comment or dm to be added) :

@d-dilemma

[canichangemyblogname]

I’d personally like to know what fandom they’re in because every third day since May of this year, I have been subjected to takes that include statements like:

Tommy will cheat on Buck because gay men cheat.

Tommy will give Buck an STI because gay men sleep around.

I hope Tommy dies of AIDS.

Tommy is homophobic for dating Buck instead of a “femme twink bottom.”

If I were Buck, I’d have killed Tommy for flirting with me.

If you like Buck x Tommy, you’re just a fetishizer. Even if you’re a queer man. I said what I said.

We should stone Tommy.

M/M romantic relationships have always centered women.

Temu is a predator for dating a grown man who’s younger then him.

Jakey only wants Buck for his body and youth because gay men are shallow and superficial.

Which crime makes you want to execute Tteokbokki the most? Cutting a date short or calling a man by his given name?

Gay men are never actually gay; they just think they are. They actually like women, but don’t realize it or are lying.

Men like T*mmy should be beheaded for flirting with men the way he has with Buck.

Tommy is such a typical gay man, forcing himself on Buck in his loft and turning him gay.

Gay men are all liars, so I don’t expect Buck to put up with Tommy long.

Stereotypes about gay men obvi come from somewhere, and that’s real life! I have good cause to think Tommy will be bad for Buck as a gay man!

Buck’s not actually into men; Tommy is your typical man and pressured/coerced Buck into a relationship.

Tommy and Buck dating makes light of women’s relationship trauma.

Someone needs to tell Buck that he’s actually in love with his best friend!

The gayest thing to ever happen to Buck isn’t kissing a man or the implication he’s had sex with that man, but the one time he told his best friend he’d beat him up.

Buck x Tommy is problematic because they’re both men.

Tommy is a pedo because queer people prey on children and a teen in the show called him “cool” off-screen.

Any number of takes calling fans of 911’s recent decision to expand queer representation by including a same-sex male couple “bummies” or “bummers” << UK queer people have told y’all to knock it off. It’s a slur.

Also any number of takes saying that Buck & Tommy’s relationship feels “off-putting,” “creepy,” “gross,” “weird,” “nauseating,” or “obscene”

If you flirt with men like Tommy, you’re a predator. Simple.

Tommy is a freak and a fetishizer.

Relationships are only meaningful and worthwhile if it’s a slow burn and you more friends for the better part of a decade first.

I think this queer guy is secretly in love with and pining for his (straight) best friend.

Queer guys and straight guys can’t be friends; the attraction gets in the way.

Buck is going to cheat on Tommy because Tommy’s old and has a low libido and Buck’s a bisexual slut.

Tommy is grooming Buck!

So, yeah, I’d like to know what fandom you’re in where people are being homophobic to real queer people for *not* liking Tommy, because all I’ve seen is people literally sending death threats and CSAM fics to queer people—often specifically targeting queer men—who support 911’s newest canon queer couple. It has been MONTHS of targeted harassment. Months. I’d like to know WHO these people are who are harassing queer people in the name of defending a “homophobic queer character,” and then I’d like to know how that character is homophobic.

Please—I beg—tell me how Tommy is a “homophobic” gay man. How is he anything like the self-proclaimed “homophobic gay men” of buddieblr? Do tell. Without relying on any tropes about gay men being predatory. Because the only reason y’all think he is and can and would “groom” or “prey upon” a grown man is based in very popular irl queerphobic stereotypes about queer men. Y’all have spent the last five months essentially saying: “I want to subject this fictional character to violence because of real life false conceptions about men like him.”

[itsabouttimex2]

I noticed that you write MK to be a teen, when most other people call him an adult. Any reason why?

I’m in general not a fan of the “Megapolis, in spite of being a fictional futuristic high-tech city, has laws that mirror modern day China one to one” theory that most people use to try and prove that “MK is ‘canonically’ an adult”.

Because MK is like… a genuine masterclass in how to write a character’s age in that there are so many signs pointing to teen or adult (and in some very few cases even a child, but only rarely), but never entirely confirming a single number.

Which is just… so good? Because any person of any age can see themselves in MK’s shoes, which makes him much easier to relate to?

And also in general I just hate the “my headcanon is canon because (thing that is not proof)” that people use to bludgeon down other headcanons.

MK is written to be age-ambiguous for a reason! The show is meant to appeal to teens, who exist from “thirteen-nineteen”, so he’s been given traits that could easily point in any which direction for his age.

(He’s also a character in a CHILDREN’S TOY COMMERCIAL. He literally exists to sell expensive plastic toys. Why are people so serious about him “needing” to be an adult?)

Like, yes, he lives alone…

On the second floor of a building owned by his adoptive father, not by himself out in the city away from his guardian. He’s also very bad at taking care of his place, even though it’s a single room. Like, tell me this doesn’t just look like an average teenager’s room. (He also owns a night-light shaped like Monkey King’s cloud.)

Yes, he works as a full-time delivery boy and drives around everywhere…

But Tang calls him a “growing boy” in the second episode, which isn’t the sort of thing you say to a full-grown adult.

He’s given lots of moments to be very adult in ways that are hard to read as “childish”, and childish in ways that are very hard to read as “adult”- BECAUSE HE’S DELIBERATELY MEANT TO EVOKE A VARIETY OF AGES SO THAT ANYONE CAN RELATE TO HIM.

(These two scenes in particular lean towards MK being very young, but it doesn’t mean he’s canonically young, you know? Just like driving and having a job don’t make him canonically an adult.)

So I write him as an age-ambiguous “teen” while never described where exactly he is on that spectrum of “thirteen-nineteen”, which I think is the best way to write an ambiguously-aged character- by leaving them ambiguous! Then he can be an adult or kid or teen in the mind of whoever is reading my fics.

Wow this was supposed to be short but it went a little longer than I expected.

Thank you for asking!

[thearchercore]

As a film major undergrad and then entertainment business major post grad. The artistic elements of the F1 movie drive me insane AND THEN THE FINANCIAL AND MARKETING ASPECTS TOO!!

Apple is pretty notorious for just blowing huge amounts of money on shows and films that no one watches. So, it’s not even the $300 million budget that surprises me . It’s how little anyone seems to understand what this film is about or who it’s even for!! AND I CANT EVEN TELL WHERE THE MONEY FOR THIS FILM HAS GONE EXCEPT ON BRAD PITTS PAYCHECK BECAUSE THE TRAILERS COLOUR GRADING IS SO BAD IT CANT POSSIBLY BE ON POST

Maybe it was just a terrible trailer but the reason films like Rush and Le Mans 66 (Ford v Ferrari in some countries) is that they had something for both racing and non racing fans. 

Both based on true stories, with a compelling emotional core, recognisable actors (appeals to non racing fans mainly). Beautiful cinematic shots of cars going fast appeal to racing fans because those are views that you don’t usually get watching an actual race. 

the fixed cam shots of the drivers in the cars do nothing!! Because non racing fans will find them boring and racing fans would just rather watch a real race. Not Brad Pitt fucking about in an F2 car (which racing fans on Twitter have picked up on already!) The jet shots in top gun maverick (same director) worked because, hey people don’t usually see that sort of stuff, especially not from a pilots POV,  but we see fixed cam POV shots from car races all the time!! AND HOW ARE YOU DOING AUDIO FOR THAT??? is just going to be Brad Pitt breathing heavily the entire time??  

The exaggerated noises and car movements are fun to watch because F1 cars don’t move like that anymore! We don’t get to hear that classic WHOOOSHHH. hell even Michael manns terrible Ferrari movie was FUN because the story was interesting and the shots of the cars driving very fast around very scenic parts of Europe is entertaining. 

F1 (2025) is not based on a true story and the trailer was way more focused on the cringe “car for combat” line rather than what might actually make for an emotionally compelling story. An old racer thrown aside by the sport being dragged back to help an up and coming racer because that’s the only way he’s able to get back in a car. For the first time in his career He’s now the number 2 driver.

But it seems like we will get none of that and if we do the writing will be…uh bad!

ALSO THE TWITTER MARKETING!!! Who is that for!!! The only people who are interacting with that are already your target audience (F1 fans) they know the movie exists, they’ve already made up their minds about whether they are going to see it or not. And if non f1 fans see it they’d just be confused about it being a real f1 team and likely just ignore it. If this is your early marketing what on earth are you going to do next!! You can’t get Brad Pitt to do stunt drives for promotions cause he’ll probably die!! You are relying on name recognition to get non f1 fans to go the theatre and sign up to Apple TV for this and you didn’t even say FROM THE DIRECTOR OF TOP GUN MAVERICK in your trailer when that was the second highest grossing film of 2022 and had pretty much universal critical acclaim!!!! 

Brad Pitts old ass was also a terrible choice for this movie. Micheal Fassbender was right there!!! He’s literally done Le Mans, had an entire Porsche YouTube doc about his training and hypercar race attempts. And at 47, is a very believable age to play “retired driver but still young enough to come back” and he’d likely have been able to a lot of drives/stunts himself. 

I also dread to think how the real drivers are being included in this. I get wanting authenticity but these boys may look like models and actors but they are not!!! If anything I feel like it’d just ruin the emersion of the film because how jarring it’ll be to see real drivers, with their real names in a fictional movie!! 

This movie makes me crazy, it’s only been 1 trailed and some BTS info and I’m already like this. Watching the actual film ( which I do encourage people to pirate btw don’t give Brad Pitt money) is going to kill me 

i will be very surprised if they do pull it off because every move they've done so far was just objectively bad. naming it f1? awful. the ip will get lost in search engine tools because Real F1 will overshadow it. the trailer? no plot. brother is building a car for combat as if the FIA would allow anything like that. the closest we got was mclaren putting spikes on their car this year.

the trailer showed us zero plot, introduced zero stakes in the story. okay you're building a car, why? why do you want to win? what is the driving force of the story? the emotional core? why do i want to root for brad pitt's character if my driver is an actual character in the story??

so far the only people excited for it are real f1 fans that are going to see it to see max verstappen walk in the background in IMAX for 4 seconds. and those people take it as a joke, a hatewatch even.

they all know the f1 drivers can't act... like this whole thing seems so insane to me i cant believe how its an actual thing that's being filmed lol

and dont get me started on how the filming is taking two years (also bc of the strikes last year). two teams have completely different name. cars look different. suits look different...... like if they're fixing all in post god bless that team bc they'll be using more VFX than marvel

[fluffernuttermushroom]

KND Community Challenge

1: when did you start watching the show?

 I think it was near the end of 2023? I was introduced to the fandom by one of the comics that @fallen-gabrielle posted. I was a fan of old fashioned cartoons already and loved the unique art style! A few comics and several episodes later, I was hooked!

2: favorite season?

I haven’t watched trough the entire series yet(Currently on season 3). But Iike season three for all the new characters introduced!

3: favorite episode?

T.U.R.N.I.P.

T.H.E.-F.L.Y.

Q.U.I.E.T.

G.R.O.W.-U.P.

D.O.G.F.I.G.H.T.

F.U.T.U.R.E.

U.T.O.P.I.A.

4: hated episode?

P.I.N.K.E.Y.E. (ick)

5: favorite character?

Favorite character(s)!

Rachel(I often feel her ‘I have been everyone’s councilor at this point and I am tired of people’ feeling. Is this an INFJ thing?),

Hoagie(He reminds me of my cousin + we have the shared love for bad puns & dad jokes!),

Abby(Cool!),

Sally Sanban(I am obsessed with her for some reason),

Nigel’s grandson(Same reason with Sally. Dunno why), 

6: did you cry when you watch OP INTERVIEWS?

I didn't cry but It felt quite bitter sweet. I’m the sort of person who watches the end before finishing a series. So I kind of scrolled through the entire wiki and watched I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S. before actually watching the C:KND. It is an inevitable fate for all kids to grow up to grow old and gray at some point. But I have never seen characters grown up in a cartoon before. The whole episode made KND hit a bit too close to home to me. 

Ironically the episode that made me upset the most ended up being one of the reasons that I like about the KND. 

You will grow up

But you will never grow out of some things

7: funniest moment?

Wally saying “C’mon she already has every single rainbow monkey there is!”

And then watching in horror as the rainbow monkey aircraft coming into view before saying;

“Oh yeah, except that one.”

8: saddest moment?

Abby giving up in Operation M.A.U.R.I.C.E. after facing that every one she knows and loves in the KND will turn into teens & forget about her eventually. 

9: favorite KND artist?

Again, can’t pick just one! This is going to be long so the list of artists and why I like them are listed below

10: favorite canon KND ship?

3x4 and 2x5

11: favorite headcanon KND ship?

Ummm... can’t choose! Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Poly, Platonic I love & have them all!

I have a lot of different head cannons for different scenarios.

But the ones in my fanfiction are currently 1x362, 60x86, 2xAce(the kid), 83x84, 23x35

12: what's one thing you love about the fandom?

The thousands of fan theories, fan fiction with their own interesting head cannons, multiple aus and crossovers, and of course the beautiful fanart with unique art styles!

13: what's one thing you hate about the fandom?

Those weird pedo & insest shippers that keep spawning out of nowhere

14: do you wish there were more die hard KND fans in the fandom?

YES. A thousand times YES.

15: when did you start drawing KND art?

Near the start of May 2024 and have been drawing almost daily ever since! But It’s mostly animation plans and sketches so I don’t post often nowadays 

:P

16: how old were you when you started drawing KND art?

Hm, will answer that on my birthday.

17: how old are you now and are you still drawing KND art?

Same with the answer above! I will answer on my birthday

18: what's one thing you wish would stop in the fandom?

The pedo & insest ships, art thefts, rude requests and just disrespecting other people.

19: quick pick your favorite 2×4?

M.A.R.B.L.E.(Mustardy Armament Releases Big Loud Explosion) and 

G.A.R.G.O.C.Y.C.L.E.(Granite Augmented Rocket Glider Outstandingly Creates Your Cool Looking Escape)!

20: what's your Codename?

Numbuh 9.24!

(KND Community Challenge Template Credits To @arudan)

+Answer to question number 9

@fallen-gabrielle: The one who brought me into the fandom + has a lot of lovely AUs!

@midnight-the-goth-artist: Satisfies my inner goth, has helluva boss inspired art

@gen-toon: Beautiful angles & poses

@numbuh02: The scratchy art style!

@artsygirl0315: Her OCs remind me of ENA! And they interact with the fandom often

@elijaheldridge: FLOOF EVERY WHERE

@mixxxerlyishere: OC with a unique design! 

@scarlett-v-the-fox: The head cannons for minor KND characters are really intricate

@bluccoli: Rare fellow Korean KND artist & takes a lot of requests!

@gettan49: Still reading ‘Operation:  BEYOND’ it’s a really well made fanfiction

@parasite-doll: Always love the creepy art style

@mixx0: The sillies (OCs)

@kandykatz: Uses the tumblr aesthetics to it’s full extent + draws hair really well!

@bluepastels29: Insane attention to detail to her cloth designs

@numbuh900: G:KND OCs!

@numbuh-72: Great at KND edits! It looks like a part of the show if I don’t look closely

@ohlookanothercartoontofallinto: Lineless art. LINELESS ART.

@kndrules: Sector V as grown-up comics!

@sok-knd: Uses brushes really well & has a lot of different art styles 

@kukiiisblog: 3x4 art in webtoon + old cartoon style

@numbuhinfinitys: Reyna and their  cute shenanigans with the delightful children

@your-genious-artistic-girl: I dunno how she makes line arts that clear! Mine are always squiggley

@pennywhistle2021: Numbuh 30c art! Most of the fan art of 30c that I find on deviant art is theirs

@knd1234isme: Numbuh 4 in every form possible

@torra-and-the-toons: Has really specific Nigel head cannons + old cartoons!

@spicedwatermel0n: Not picky with ships & is understanding with others 

@kidsnextdoor-doodles: Moonbabies :)

@pinkmeanschaos: KND genderbend everything! And a fellow 60 x 86 shipper

@bugtoonz: Pastel art! Their art is always easy on the eyes

@rubiisun: The art style always gives me a fluffy feeling

@kommandonuovidiavoli: Everyones favorite grandma :) Penny’s chaotic nature always tickles me

@rainbowbeam231: Uses colors really well with her OCs!

@totallynoteggos: Unique concept with making the (Y/N) self insert as and OC!

@some-loozzr: Good with lighting! + The spank-happy sector V members look so scrappy I love them

[buddiebeginz]

I know some of you B/T fans are queer I'm sure a large number of you are which is why I'm just amazed at how hard you're trying to exclude characters that many lgbtq people see as queer and relate to.

Some of you seriously need to educate yourself on the history of queer media because with most shows and movies queer characters/ships were not canon we literally weren't allowed to be. Even when queer characters were allowed in media it has predominantly been through horrible stereotypes, badly written stories, and tragic endings. The reason there is a long history of the lgbtq community coming up with headcanons for characters and ships is because it was the main and sometimes only way we could see ourselves in the media we were consuming.

You don't have to like Eddie but it’s down right offensive to act like there’s something wrong with people loving this character and seeing him as anything other than straight especially queer people. There are people who feel more seen just because Eddie exists and are waiting for the day he comes out like Buck did. You don't get to make people feel bad about that just because you see Eddie as straight. It's even more offensive that you're trying to gate keep who pride is for and what it's supposed to mean to lgbtq+ people.

Bottom line is this isn't even about pride. The real reason you don't want Eddie included has nothing to do with celebrating canon queer characters over non canon ones. It's because the very idea that they Eddie might be gay terrifies you. You know the minute Eddie comes out your ship is done. But even if Buddie never goes canon (don't worry it will) people will always love this ship and always see Eddie as a queer character. Nothing you or anyone else does will ever change how he's become a fictional queer icon. Years from now when 911 is off the air people will still care about Buddie and Eddie and T*mmy will just be remembered as that guy who was Buck's first kiss with a guy.

[cheriiepies]

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, enemies to lovers

Note: This is my first fiction, and I know it is not perfect. But I will try to improve. Btw, big thanks for @papaya-twinks as she helped me with this fiction a lot!! SO THANK YOU POOKIE(((ＵωＵ｀ *)(* ´ＵωＵ))).

Since the karting days the relationship between you and Charles was sour. It felt like any opportunity for bonding or getting to know each other was filled with long arguments over stupid things, fights, battles (and stubborness)

It was a race weekend and you were walking in the paddock towards your team ready to do some media work and content for the fans with your *favorite* teammate, Charles. Those challenges you did for the youtube or instagram is always filled with passive aggresivness or extreme competition.

As you were reaching the Ferrari garage you heared a familiar voice calling you over:

-"Y/n! Charles! Here you guys are. I need to speak to you two , alone". Charles glanced at you briefly:

-"What did you do now?"

-"Well hello to you too, Charles. I am fine how are you? And for the record the last time we were called in his office was when you fucked our race up!"

"Oh, get over it. Not my problem that you cannot control a wheel". You rolled your eyes at that trying very hard to not bite back

They entered the office seeing a very serious Fred looking at them.

"I hope you guys know that I won't tolerate any crashes that happened between you because you were too stubborn to listen to your race engineers!"-he said his voice rising at the end as this was certeanly not a rare inCHident(got that?). "We have the ability to get the podium as the car is perfectly suited for this circuit. P3 and P4 are not a bad starting position. We have to get the most out of this opportunity. Understood?". Both of them agreed, trying to talk less as it would cause more arguments.

"I won't let you ruin my race again y/n" charles said as they were leaving the office for an interview that would start in 20 minutes. "Can say the same about you. You can not tolerate me being ahead of you. It seems to be hurting your ego. The only reason you can secure podiums is because of the team orders. " He could only chuckle at that finding the idea amusing. "Well, the reason is I am the better driver in this team, so you do as the orders say." "Fuck you Charles! You act like you are all that, when in reality, all you do is blame the car or me when something fucks your race up, but it is you. Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and realise that you are not as good?" Ypu knew he was a good driver. But you still liked pushing his buttons. Charles could only glare at you not wanting to say things he will regret later. It was just a silent walk after that as they all sat in their beloved places during the interview.

Timeskip: the race

-“Right, Y/N, we’re starting in P4, let’s see if we can optimise this position,” your engineer spoke calmly. You replied with a simple and calm ‘yes’, knowing fully well of your own motive. Beat Charles. He’d already been a right ass about having qualified P3, one spot ahead of you, by less than a tenth, and what you wanted? To wipe his filthy little smirk away.

And so the formation lap begun, your eyes fixed on the rear wing of your teammate’s car, watching as he drove round the circuit. Five lights. Out. Instantly, you tried, and failed, to overtake him, feeling the threat of the number four car behind you. “Fuck,” you hissed, pressing harder to get away from him, your eyes trained on Charles. Sure, the team HAD warned you two on how these constant fiery battles could end up costing you the win or points at the minimum, but you were not one to back down. And neither was Charles, apparently. After 40 laps the cars ahead of you were starting to pit. It was an easy overtake to p3 and charles p2. But you wanted more. So you tried to overtake Charles even if your race engineer told you not to, as it is not safe with the tyres and they did not want to risk anything. As you were trying to overtake the wheels touched and it sent the both of you out of the track ulitametly crashing each other.

"What the fuck was that!" Charles was rigtfully angry. It was the perfect moment to secure P2 or even get a P1. You both got out of the car. You wanted to apoligize for ruining his race.

"Hey, I am sorry it was an accident, I miscalucilated and- "shut the fuck up! You always do this, why couldn't you just listen?. And now we are both out of the race. Do you realise how dangerous your driving is? Maybe they were all right about you. You do not deserve your seat! It is a miracle you could even get out of F3 alive!" He kept going on about how undeserving you are of the seat. It hurt you more than you cared to admit. Even if you disliked Charles(or so you thought), his validation and approval was still something you craved. You admired him since the beggining of your F1 rookie season. You looked up at him trying to hide your tears- " I said sorry, mistakes happen. I hope you forgive me . I have to go". Charles felt guilty at his harsh words suddenly realising that you did not deserve all that shit. He wanted to apologize but you were already gone. He was zoning out while the reporters asked about the crash, replaying it on the screens. All he could think of is how sad you looked when he was lashing out on you. He did not see you all day, not on the paddock not,after the race. You where nowhere to be seen.

It was already late, he could not sleep. The guilt was eating Charles up, his harsh words replaying in his mind. The way you looked so sad. It bothered him a lot, he did not actually wanted to hurt your feelings, he wasn't thinking right saying those things. With out thinking much his worry carried him towards your hotel room. Charles slowly knocked on the door, not hearing anything he slowly opened it.

" y/n? Are you here? I am so sorry about what I said. I wasn't thi-". Charles stopped talking as soon as he saw you laying on your bed with red teary eyes. Hair disheveled, laying on your bed trying to wipe your cheeks. "Hey, hey. Are you crying because of today? " he instictively came closer to you, wanting to comfort you. "I am so sorry, I did not want to ruin your race! You were right about me , maybe I am a bad driver. You have all the rights to hate me"- you rambled, trying not to cry again. "I was mad and said things that weren't true. You are a great driver y/n even if I tell you otherwise. I was an asshole and it was unfair of me to say hurtful words like that. Accidents happen. And for the record, I do not hate you. " Not realising Charles was holding y/n close, hugging her, not wanting her to cry anymore. Charles denied his protectivness over y/n, though his actions spoke otherwise. It made her feel butterflies in her stomach even if she tried to deny it.

"I forgive you too. You had every right to be mad at me. And I do not hate you either. Not at all. " You suddenly felt shy at the position you were in. But he still kept you close, gently looking at you. There was something else happening at the way you looked at each other so softly. He slowly leaned in, giving you the chance to back away if you did not want this. But you both wanted this. His lips were soft and gentle as he held your cheek and carrased your hair lovingly. As you pulled away, he gently whispered, "I can never hate you."

[archiveikemen]

『 Dark If 』 Story Event: Chapter 2

Jude Jazza

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

I immediately started doing my research on curses and magic in the library.

Due to my sheltered upbringing at the castle, every piece of knowledge I gained from the books was new to me.

Kate: “Time is not irreversible, and space is not unchangeable”.

Kate: “Like a complicated intertwining of threads, the past and the future, as well as different worlds can be connected”.

Kate: … This might be why I have memories of living in both England and this fairytale world…

They once existed separately, but they were now connected into one.

Just like two pieces of thread being intertwined.

The pages of the book rustled as I flipped to the page with information on fairies.

Fairies possess extraordinary powers and are rare in number. They often cause disputes between countries.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for them to be targets of assassination by other countries, as killing a fairy would give them an advantage in terms of war strategy.

(Fairy can easily plan the overthrow of an entire country, and so everyone who refuses to join the military is often imprisoned or executed—)

Kate: … So that’s how it is…

(The overprotective King and the country’s military meekly accepted my situation, just because he’s a fairy…)

I felt furious and ashamed at my lack of knowledge on what was happening around me.

Jude: What have you been doing here every single night?

Kate: Jude…

The moment I saw him, I instantly regretted the things I said to him a few days ago.

Kate: … I’m sorry for saying that you're being targeted because of your bad personality.

Jude: Huh? I don't get what you're talking about.

Kate: Like you said, I’m too ignorant about many things. I realise that now.

Kate: So, for you to listen to what I want… I’ll try to discuss them with you on equal terms.

Jude: … Hah.

Jude scoffed and hooked a fingertip under my collar, pulling my face closer.

Jude: I assumed that you’d be an overly pampered and spoiled brat because of the sheltered upbringing you received for many years.

Jude: What nice eyes you have. Makes me want to make you cry.

Kate: … W-What?

He looked down at me with his usual sadistic expression. And yet, for some strange reason, I felt rather uplifted this time.

(Not that I’m happy I got some form of validation from him or anything… I think.)

Jude: Hm, hope you try as hard as you can.

Jude let go of my collar and left the library.

(— Now that I think of it, he calls me a servant and makes me wear a collar.)

However, apart from leaving the castle, there was nothing else I wasn't allowed to do.

“I’m safe here, so please don't send any soldiers over. That will only result in unnecessary deaths”.

Ellis delivered my letter to the palace, he had been kind enough to help me communicate with them and assure them of my safety.

(If this curse is because of a grudge he has against me— I might have done something wrong to him in the past.)

(But why do I have no recollection of it…?)

To vent my frustration, I completely drowned myself in researching curses and magic.

…

Before I knew it, days went by—

Kate: Oh, good morning, Jude.

Jude: … Are you doing that on purpose?

Kate: … What do you mean?

Jude: Bed hair.

I hurriedly apologised and roughly combed my hair with my fingers.

I lowered my face to hide that my heart fluttered.

Jude: Pfft, you turned red over something like this. You’re so childish.

Rather than being used to his sadistic attitude, I found myself beginning to be slightly attracted to him.

(Um… this must be one of those tropes in fiction where the victim falls for the kidnapper, something like that.)

(This isn’t love… yup.)

Kate: You spent the whole night in your study last night, right? Have you been sleeping well?

Jude: Hah, what’s this? Is the little one worried about me?

Jude: Worry about me after you know how to fix your bed hair and greet me properly in the morning, Princess.

Kate: Ouch…

My forehead stung when he flicked me with his finger.

Jude: You like the pain, huh.

I averted my gaze, avoiding his mocking yet attractive smile.

Kate: I don’t. … Please lift the curse today.

Jude: Ah, ah, you're getting snappy. Looks like I won’t lift the curse today too.

Jude laughed at my request and left for work as usual.

…

Time passed by without mercy, my search for the missing piece in this world and my pleas for my curse to be lifted both remained fruitless—

(Jude…?)

There was one day where Jude was out of the castle for an usually long time and only returned at midnight. I happened to see him when I was peeking out of the library.

Right when his back disappeared into his study.

I noticed something on the carpet—

(Is that… blood?)

A shiver ran down my spine, and I immediately rushed to the study.

…

The study was filled with mountains of books — there Jude was, slouched in a chair at the center of the room, looking pale.

Kate: Jude… are you hurt…?

Jude: … Did I not say that no one is allowed in this room without my permission?

Jude: It’s just a scratch. Hurry up and get out.

Kate: Even if it’s only a small matter, I can’t leave an injured person alone. Let me help you treat your wound.

I approached Jude against his will and saw the piles of papers and documents on his desk.

Kate: … You shut yourself in your study every night. Just what exactly are you researching?

Kate: Is it also the reason why you were out late today…?

Jude: … So what if it is?

Kate: You’ll damage your health if you keep this up.

Kate: Putting your life at risk because of a promise… it's as though you’re the one who’s in danger, Jude.

Jude: … What?

Kate: — It’s like a curse.

Jude: Hah… you actually said it.

Without delay, a hand wrapped around my neck like a snake.

It was as if he wanted to remind me that he was the one who cursed me, and that my life was in his hands.

Kate: … ggh…

My collar was tightened, making me struggle to breathe.

Jude: Being cursed to death for the entirety of your long life over some stupid promise is a pretty big deal.

Jude: You’re worrying about me — and yet, you’ll still fall into a deep slumber tomorrow because of your curse. Have you forgotten all about that?

Jude: Go back to your room right now if you don’t want your head blown off, Princess.

He then slammed the door loudly in my face.

That’s right, before I knew it, my birthday was — tomorrow.

…

(At this rate, I’ll really fall into a deep sleep for 100 years, just like I’m cursed to.)

(Not knowing why Jude cursed me, what’s the missing piece in this world, nothing at all…)

While I was feeling restless and having difficulty sleeping, I suddenly heard the ear-piercing sound of glass shattering.

(Is someone attacking the castle again…?)

I should've been used to the noise by now, and yet… it felt especially unsettling this time.

(There are more voices and footsteps than usual today.)

(Ellis is staying overnight in a town at the foot of the mountain tonight to purchase some items, and Jude is injured.)

Kate: … [worried]

I quickly flew out of bed and ran into the hallway.

…

Jude: Tch… why did you come out here for? Go back to sleep.

Kate: Please don’t say such absurd things in the midst of this ruckus…

Soldier: Princess Kate!

(— Soldiers?!)

Kate: Why are you… I’ve already informed my father than I’m safe…!

Soldier: Your Highness, tomorrow is your last day as per your curse.

Soldier: His Majesty ordered us to take you back to the palace at once, as he wants to see your face for the last time!

(Father…)

Jude: — Unfortunately, the Princess won’t be going home with you.

As if hiding me from the soldiers downstairs, Jude pushed me down with one hand.

Kate: Jude? You’ll be treated as a traitor if you do this, and be an even greater target…

Jude: Hah, you’re worrying over nothing. Besides, you’ll die if you return to the palace now.

Kate: What…?

(What do you mean by that…? My curse is to fall into a deep sleep for 100 years when I prick myself on the spindle of a spinning wheel.)

But, just now, Jude clearly said that I would “die”.

Kate: Are you saying that there’s something else that could kill me, apart from my curse?

Jude: … The incompetency of the doctors at the palace.

Just then, I saw a blazing arrow flying towards Jude—

Kate: … Watch out…!

Jude: !?

In an attempt to shield him from it, I lost my balance—

Jude: … Kate!

— I fell headlong into the atrium, and into the arms of a soldier sent by my father.

Soldier: Princess Kate! Are you hurt!?

Kate: Is Jude…!?

I looked up at the mezzanine — Jude seemingly got distracted by my fall and was subdued by the soldiers.

Jude: Damn it… why did you fall, you idiot?!

Kate: … P-Please, he’s injured… please don’t be rough with him!

Soldier: We will be detaining him for the abduction and confinement of the Princess.

Kate: P-Please wait… listen to me—!

...

No one heard my cries… and we were brought to the palace in separate carriages.

(What should I do… Jude was captured because of me.)

Based on what I’ve read in books about how fairies are treated, I had a rough idea of Jude’s fate.

In place of overlooking his crimes, Jude would be forced to protect our country by attacking enemy countries.

(Jude still has a promise to fulfill…)

— “I won’t ever break this promise, even in death.”

Kate: …?

I thought I heard someone’s voice.

Immediately, the scenery before me distorted and I felt myself being pulled by some unknown force.

(W-Wha…? Did I hit my head—)

…

I shut my eyes tightly due to the dizziness, and when I opened them—

I found myself in an unfamiliar back alley.

(... Where is this place…?)

I saw that my reflection in a building’s windowpane appeared childlike, approximately 10 years old.

(Is this… me as a child?)

Judging from my dainty and expensive-looking dress, it was unlikely that this was the “me” who lived in England.

Right at that moment— the angry voices of a few grown-ups could be heard from outside the alley.

Man’s Voice: Get him! We want him alive!

Man’s Voice: You little pest… making things difficult for me—!

I peeked out of the alley and saw a little boy around my age being chased by a group of grown-ups.

He was covered in wounds; and his eyes looked like they had a roaring fire burning inside them, as if he bore a grudge against the entire world.

The boy was about to pass by the alley, when—

Kate: … Hide—!

Boy: Huh!?

I pulled him into the alley and heaved a sigh of relief as we hid behind a stack of wooden crates, listening to the footsteps of the grown-ups fade away into the distance.

Kate: … Looks like they’re gone now. Why were they after you? Are you hurt—?

Boy: … You don’t know me. I’m a wanted person throughout the country.

Kate: You are? But, why would they be after such a young child…

Boy: A young child? Aren’t you about the same age as me?

(Ah… could it be—)

Kate: Are you able to use magic?

Boy: — So what if I am?

The boy very clearly became increasingly wary of me.

I recalled the heartless words “children of fairies are often wanted as a valuable asset, thus they may be hunted down”.

Kate: Don’t worry, I won’t capture you.

Jude (The Little Boy): … Who knows if you’re telling the truth. Looking at your clothes, you probably a noble’s daughter or royalty. People with money and power are untrustworthy scums.

Kate: I’m telling you the truth! … I think that it’s wrong for someone to be wanted, targeted, and stripped of their freedom when they haven't committed a crime…!

I remembered Jude being attacked at his castle in the mountains nearly every day.

My words involuntarily came out of my mouth, expressing all the pent up frustration I had from my days spent at that castle.

Kate: Ah… sorry for raising my voice.

Boy: … Pfft, why apologise? It’s fine. I agree with you.

Boy: … And your face doesn't look like you’re capable of lying.

Boy: You don’t seem intelligent enough to fool someone for your personal gain— huh?

Boy: Oi, show me your face.

Kate: Huh? Wha—

He brought my face closer and examined it closely, seemingly trying to see something.

(His eyes… they look cold, yet so beautiful.)

Boy: Tch… you look like you have some kind of disease.

Kate: A disease…?

Boy: You have about 10 years left to live.

Kate: W-What…!? Are you saying that I’ll die in 10 years time…!?

Boy: I owe you for saving my life, I’m not going to let you die.

Boy: 10 years later when you’re about to die, I’ll make time stop.

Boy: I don't know how many years will it take to find a cure for your disease… 100 years should suffice.

Kate: H-Hold on… what do you mean by that?

Boy: You slow princess. I’m saying that I’ll save you. Go on and cry tears of gratitude for me.

Boy: I won’t ever break this promise, even in death.

The boy poked my forehead with a finger.

Boy: 10 years from now, you will prick your finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and fall into a deep sleep for 100 years.

Kate: W-Why do I have to prick my finger on a spindle…?

Boy: Maybe it’s just the way you look, who knows. Besides — you seem to enjoy pain.

His thin lips curled into a mocking smile.

Kate: — Have we ever met somewhere before…?

…

— I found myself back in the carriage I was forced into.

(That dream… it felt oddly real.)

I could still feel the sensation of a finger touching my forehead.

“Time is not irreversible, and space is not unchangeable. Like a complicated intertwining of threads, the past and the future, as well as different worlds can be connected.”

(The past and the present… connected…?)

I came to this world from England — and now, I have a promise with Jude from the past.

That idea should've been ridiculous, and yet the dots connected perfectly and formed a truth.

Kate: So, the present day Jude is currently imprisoned — and then there's the curse.

Kate: What about the promise we made just now…?

– Flashback Start –

King: … That night, you had a quarrel with me and ran away from the palace. You then lost your consciousness and collapsed in an alley.

– Flashback End –

Thinking about it made me finally understand why I had no memories of back then.

It was because the “me” who met the young Jude in the back alley, was “me” from the present day.

I came into this fairytale world, and made a promise with Jude from the past.

That’s why, before I met Jude from the past, I didn't have any memories of making that promise.

(But, still… I’m certain that I wasn't scared of the curse.)

(Because Jude didn't curse me out of spite.)

(He cursed me to buy time, so that a cure for my disease could be found.)

That means, according to the curse, I need to be pricked by a spindle.

It was the only way to fulfil our promise, which was for me to fall asleep and stop death from reaching me.

Kate: A spindle…

Kate: I have to look for a spindle—

[beerok23]

It's Fan Fic Friday!

In the aftermath of the worst news ever, this week I want to suggest a few WIPs!

If you want a movie themed AU, my very own silly Runaway Groom

Anthony J. Crowley has been writing a column about queer facts in The Guardian for 15 years, but lately he has lost his touch. One day, when he’s struggling to meet a deadline, he hears a story from a man in a pub, and he writes an unflattering article about Aziraphale Fell, a mechanic who has apparently left a number of fiancés at the altar in the small town of Tadfield, earning the unfortunate nickname of ‘The Runaway Groom’. When Aziraphale, who’s getting married��again, has Crowley fired, the journalist has no other option but to travel to Tadfield in pursuit of vindication. But he will find so much more than that. A human ‘Runaway Bride’ AU.

2. If you love fun and jokes, my friend @ineffablerainstorm's Sweeter than Fiction AU

It wasn’t so bad, misinterpreting the bookseller’s intentions. Sure, Aziraphale had a partner, and sure, Crowley had gotten his hopes up for a meet-cute straight out of one of his romance novels. But at least he’d walked away with an idea to break his latest spell of writer’s block. It wasn’t as if Crowley would ever see the angel again. No chance that Aziraphale would discover that he’d been the inspiration for N. Ashtoreth’s newest love interest. No possibility that Crowley’s creative gamble could come back to haunt him. ***** “Shit!” Crowley swore as the manuscript pages fluttered to the ground. “You?” Aziraphale asked with a laugh. “What are the odds of bumping into each other twice? I’m so sorry my dear.” Ohshitohshitohshit!

3. If you want some fluff, my friend @pookasluagh's Dead Right AU

“You are not selling your books to try to get back what’s already yours! Listen, Aziraphale. I know you’re opposed to the idea of an arranged marriage—” “A fake marriage,” he clarified, voice like ice. Ana ignored him. “—but it’s time you see sense. You will find someone, and you will marry him. You will inherit your property properly, and after a reasonable amount of time to deal with any legal challenges, you will divorce. It won’t destroy anyone’s future, and hell, maybe you’ll actually fall in love.” Aziraphale snorted. “Don’t count on it.”

[lovelycupid47]

Yandere! Kim Taehyung College AU! One-shot

a/n: This is my first fan fiction in a while. I'm trying to get the storyline readable and not cringe. So, if it does, I'm sorry

pairing: yandere!college student! Taehyung x college student! female reader.

TW: manipulation, slight abuse, and one swear word.

Everyone was jealous of you. They envied you. The reason is your boyfriend, Kim Taehyung. Your boyfriend was the most handsome, kind, loyal, and perfect man that every girl wished they had. Your boyfriend made sure that everyone knew that he belonged to you. Always staying by your side, blatantly ignoring any girl that tries to flirt with him, leaving hickeys every time you stay over in his dorm, deleting any messages from women that would try to seduce him, and even tattooing your name on his collarbone. Yet it has become overwhelming for you.

You met him in your first year of college. You were struggling to make friends and were finding adjustment a little difficult. It wasn’t until you met him through a classmate who invited you over to a club. You guys hit off great. You thought he was such a gentleman and handsome guy that befriending had become easy. Oh, how so wrong were you? 

Taehyung thought you were amazing and beautiful. Seeing your smile created a spark in his stomach that he didn’t want to go away. When he saw you in the sunlight, he believed that you were an angel that was sent to him since you were so perfect for him. He was so perfect for you. He knew he had to have you, so he asked you for your number and you being naive, said yes.

It started with texting each other every single day to daily luncheons to dating by the end of your freshmen semester. You guys were the perfect couple and everyone on campus knew you two could never be separated. It’s not like you want to separate. It's more like he doesn’t want to at ALL be separated away from you. At first, it was lovely and sweet, but your friends started noticing some signs that weren’t so lovely. 

“I thought you told Taehyung, you are spending time with the girls.” One of your blonde friends, Nayeon, said.

“I did, but you know him. He gets really anxious when I don’t text him back over 30 minutes.” You defended. 

“Isn’t that a little too much? He has been nonstop texting you since you sat down.” Your Burnett friend, Jihyo, questioned.

“Yeah, but he has really bad anxiety, so if I don’t text him quick enough, there is a chance he can get a panic attack. Last time, I forgot to text him before my test and he ended up calling me 20 times and left 50 messages about if I was okay and if I was in danger.” 

Both of your friends looked at each other wearily and back at you who was oblivious to how manipulative it sounded. Taehyung had never acted like this before, especially since they had known him longer than you. They've seen his previous relationships, and he never acted that way with any of the girls. This raised concerns among the girls and gave them a slight suspicion of something that wasn’t right. Since then they started observing you guys interaction in public. 

What they noticed was how subtly possessive he could get. It started with just grabbing your hand and never letting go unless you need to use both hands. They saw how he would beg for your attention when you were talking to another guy. The worst of all is the death stare he would give to any guy or girl who tries to flirt with you. Instead of voicing their concerns to you, they kept quiet. 

You, Taehyung, and your friend group decided to go eat out since exams were over. It was a moment to destress and eat/drink all of their worries away. It was going so perfectly until your boyfriend took it too far. 

“Who are you texting?” Taehyung asks.

“Oh a relative, they are wondering if I’m coming home during break.” You proclaimed. Out of nowhere, you felt arms wrapping around you and a sudden whine.

“Who told you you can leave me alone? Who is going to cuddle with me at night then? What about our morning breakfast together? You can't leave your boyfriend here by himself.” He whined out loud. Usually, this behavior would be cute to your friends, but now it has become really annoying. 

“You can wait a couple of months without her. It's not like she dying,” Nayeon mumbled, head down and moving her food around. 

“No, that is a crime. I need the love of my life with me at all times. She is my other half.” He defended while slightly glaring at her. 

“Well, have you ever thought that maybe giving her space?” Jihyo argued back with the same glare intensity as him. “It becomes overwhelming when you don’t leave her side, especially when she needs to use the restroom.”

You didn’t like where this was going, especially since it started raising some tension on the table. “Are you tired of me, baby?” Taehyung pouted pulling his most unforgiving puppy dog's eyes. The eyes he knew that you can’t say no to. 

“O-of course not!” You defended, “I would never think like that because I know how much it affects you, and you know how much I love you. I-I love the affection you give me.”

“Yeah, it is endearing, but Taehyung, it does become overwhelming even for us when all you talk about is Y/N. We get it, you are a hopeless romantic and are head over heels, but hearing about it even when she is not with us is getting really annoying.”Jungkook, Taehyung’s best friend, retorted. He heard from both Nayeon and Jihyo how Taehyung doesn’t set boundaries and is always in your space. At first, he didn’t believe it, but he started paying attention and saw what the other two girls were mentioning. Whenever Jungkook and Taehyung hang out with other guys, Taehyung is always gushing about how pretty and wonderful you are. Then he would be stuck on his phone texting you instead of talking to them. There was even one-time Taehyung yelled at Jimin, a close friend of theirs, for telling Taehyung that he could do so much better than you and that you were just going to be a college fling that he would forget about in the future. Jungkook remembered that day being the only time he saw Taehyung almost get physical with someone. The rage he saw in Taehyung’s eyes was something he could never forget and would haunt him in his sleep. 

Taehyung didn’t say anything. He was looking down at his lap staying silent making you even more worried. “Guys, I understand your concerns, but I don’t mind it. Besides, you guys are not considering his separation anxiety. I thought you guys knew about his trauma. So, leave him alone, please.” You begged, it hurts seeing your boyfriend being judged by the people he trusted the most. 

“Y/N, he doesn’t have separation anxiety. He just saying that so you can feel pity for him. I asked his mom two days ago and she said he never experienced any trauma.” Nayeon bickered. At that, it was Taehyung’s last straw. He stood up and grabbed your hand. “We will be leaving. Seeing as none of you guys support our relationship.” And you both left the restaurant without listening to your friend’s protest. 

The car back to your dorm was silent. No words were coming out of him. You tried lightening the mood, but all you got was one-word answers. It was concerning to you because you never saw him like this. It has been close to two years since you guys started dating, and you have never seen this side of him. Yes, there were also arguments between you, but he was always the one asking for forgiveness whenever you made a move to leave the room.  This is something that can actually take a turn in your relationship. 

Once at your dorm room, it was just you and him. Your roommate already left back home once exams were finished, so you had the room all to yourself before you headed back home. “Y/N. Give me your phone.” Taehyung demanded in his monotonous voice. A voice he avoids using on you. He was standing by your bed while you were still near the door.

“Why? Can we talk about what happened back at the restaurant first?” You questioned. In the car, you thought about what Nayeon said. Was it true? Were you being lied to?

“I don’t want to talk about it. Especially with people that want to separate us. Now give me your phone.” He extended his hand out expecting you to oblige to his demand, but you were hesitant.

“Those people are our friends. They weren’t trying to separate. They are just concerned for my well-being because you can become overbearing!” Yeah, you were mad at your friends for ganging up on your boyfriend, but they were your only friends since Freshman year. Besides them, no one wanted to be your friend for some odd reason.

“So you agree with them. You can’t stand being with me... Am I annoying you with my love, babe? Is my affection and love something you don’t like? Do you not love me anymore? D-do you hate me?” Taehyung gave you the most heartbreaking expression that you have ever seen. 

“Taehyung, you know that is not what I mean.”

“Really? Because it sounds like you don’t love me anymore. Is it because Jihyo and Nayeon are brainwashing you to stop loving me.” He started advancing towards you.

“They have nothing to do with this Tae.” You started slowly backing away.

“They have everything to do with this since they started the whole thing. Obviously, they are trying to persuade you to leave me. Unless…” He had you against the wall while gripping your shoulders tightly. 

“Are you cheating on me with Jungkook? After all, he is the only man you interact with and he was quick to make sure to separate you from me.” He was staring straight into your eyes which were diluted with anger while his grip on you was tightening every second. 

“Taehyung you are hurting me! You are jumping to a conclusion. There is nothing going on with me and Jungkook, okay? You know that I love you and only, so why would I want Jungkook.” You try reasoning with him, but it seems like nothing is getting to him.

“Prove it. Block them.” He declared, and from the expression on his meant he was serious. 

“Block them? Do you mean our friends? The one that has been with us since the beginning? Taehyung this is getting out of hand.” You tried getting out of his grip but he ended up digging his nails into your skin.

“The friends that got us in this argument. The same friends that insulted me in front of you, your boyfriend. The same friends that made fun of my condition, Y/N. What about the time that they picked on your outfit because it was too childish? What about the time they talked shit behind your back and yet you forgave them. You know and I know that they are the toxic ones, so I’m going to ask you one more time. Block. Them. Or help me god I will do it for you.” You were helpless because you knew he was speaking facts and you couldn’t argue back. To you they were facts, but to him, they were lies that he made up and manipulated to make sure you believed him. You defeatedly handed your phone that was buzzing with missed calls from your friends. 

He grabbed it and blocked your friends on your phone and any other social media platforms. He wanted to make sure that none of them had any contact with you. Heck, he would even make sure that they don’t even be in the same room with you. 

“See, was that hard.” He cupped your face with his veiny hands and kissed your tears away. You didn’t know you were crying until you felt his lips on your eyelids.

“Don’t worry. We have each other. Isn’t that enough? We can be even more affectionate without the nagging people insulting us.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders while you wrapped your arms around his waist. His head was lying on top of yours while swaying you both from side to side. 

“It is me and you against the world. Forever.” If only you saw the smirk he had on his face, you wouldn’t be nuzzling his neck.

[olympeline]

Been thinking about why I found Arthur in the Dark so impressive and it made me realise something kinda significant. Something significant that I’m going to put under a read more because it revolves around a heavy subject. So I wouldn’t advise looking beyond the cut if you’re sensitive to that kind of thing.

Less important, but everything below is a big spoiler and, guys seriously. If you like USUK and can handle darker fiction - no pun intended - give AitD a try. Don’t spoil yourself here. Go try it first and then come back if you’re interested. Try it if you’re neutral on USUK. Or, heck, even if USUK is a ship you dislike but isn’t an outright NOTP. I’d still recommend checking out this comic. Arthur in the Dark is still worth a read in my opinion. It’s that good. But enough gushing. Read on for the meat of this post.

Ready? Here we go: Arthur in the Dark has one of the best depictions of rape I’ve ever seen in a piece of media. “Best” as in most skillfully crafted for narrative purposes. Honestly and truly. Not even kidding. Which is kind of amazing considering it’s a depiction that came from a fan comic based on a jokey, anime gag series. Why do I feel this way? A couple of reasons:

Firstly, the rape in AitD is frighteningly, tragically realistic. Something the majority of fictional rapes are not. We tend to think of rape as taking place in a dark alley in the inner city. Stereotyping up a scene of a bottom feeder, criminal man dragging a (young, attractive) woman away to violate her. They’re usually total strangers and it’s always violent. These kind of rapes do happen, but statistics tell us they’re the minority. The majority of rapes happen like the one in AitD did: between two people who know each other well. Friends, romantic couples, even family members, make up the bulk of rapists and their victims.

Most narratives prefer the less common type of rape. Usually because the creator doesn’t want to tell a story about rape. Not really. What they want is a gut-punch to add easy drama and darkness to their creation. The sliding scale of “irredeemable bad guy” roughly goes: murderer → cold blooded torturer → rapist → child rapist. Making a villain a rapist is one of the worst things he - because 99% of the time it’s a he - can be. Conversely having a character be raped gains them instant sympathy because people are moral and empathetic creatures at heart. Most creators know this and throw in a rape for the shorthand: “Look how evil our villain is!” Which often makes the rape and its aftermath feel artificial. In no small part because the rapist characters, by virtue of being written to be the worst of the worst, don’t come off as very human. They can’t be when their main purpose is to be loathed by the audience. I could go on because there’s tons more to unpack about rape in fiction, but you get the point.

The rape in AitD isn’t like that. America and England know and love each other. Their relationship is complicated (oh boy, is it ever!) but that part of it is never in doubt. They’re each other’s most treasured person and have been for centuries. They’re not a duo made up of a flat, hate bait, villain on a collision course with their victim. Who’s doomed to suffer and be pitied until the creator decides the audience has had enough of their trauma and shuts it away so the story can move on. America and England are two people living together, going through a period of immense change and stress, trying to manage as best they can, and sometimes getting it very wrong. From a narrative point of view, this makes what happens between them so much better and so much more upsetting at the same time.

Which brings me nicely to reason number two of why this particular rape works: the build up. Like everything else in AitD, America raping England is carefully planned out and set up. The chocolate bar scene, man. Brilliant, I have to say. Alarming, uncomfortable, and brilliant. The scene in the garden is not just sprung on the reader for a jarring “Oh no! Oh shit-!” moment. If your typical under written rape is a cheap jump scare, the rape in AitD is a carefully crafted slowburn dread. Early on we start to become aware we’re building to something bad. From the foreshadowing, the art, the atmosphere, etc. We just know a storm is coming. It’s done without America acting OOC too, which is very important. It’s how he can come back from what he did. Something that would be impossible if the author didn’t handle this setup well. America’s actions aren’t right, but they are understandable. That’s the crucial distinction. The psychology of the whole thing is so very well done. America was in love with England and had been for a long time. The guilt he felt tormented him because of what their relationship was in the past. Caught between his human side and his immortal one. The guilt helped keep America in check because he didn’t want England seeing the lustful way he’d begun to look at him. Then they started living together and England was suddenly vulnerable. Vulnerable in more ways than America was aware. Which is another vital detail of how the creator keeps America sympathetic, but more on that in a moment. England willingly went blind so he wouldn’t have to see when America - the man grown from the child he raised - looked at him with lust. The guilt America felt peaked, only to clash with the realisation that he could freely indulge in his fantasies. Indulge and push (again, chocolate bar scene) now the usual moral restraint - England seeing his desire - was removed.

Meanwhile, England himself felt that same guilt but his was also laced with panic and despair. He didn’t want to lose or strain his relationship with the most important person of his centuries long life. Pulled between human standards of morality and the very inhuman existence of nation-people. Incidentally the clash between their existence as humans, while also being something more than human, is brilliantly done in AitD. It’s something that’s hard to get right - especially involving such taboo topics - but Hotama nails it. USUK usually handwaves the implications around England raising America, but here it’s made part of the narrative. Part of the tragedy, part of the resolution. Good stuff. Anyway, England begged Arthur to take his sight away so he wouldn’t have to see the way America looked at him. Then banished Arthur back into the dark in an attempt to run away from his problems. But without Arthur - without his strength - England couldn’t stand up to America when he needed to. Not that America was aware of any of this because he never knew about Arthur. Which brings me to point three: nuance of blame.

“Blame” is a very loaded word in this context, so I’ll do my best to talk about this carefully. Rape in the media is almost always black and white. Absolutely evil, irredeemable rapist. Absolutely blameless, sympathetic victim. But real life isn’t always that simple. Obviously the rapist is always the perpetrator and the one most in the wrong. I need to make that very clear. But the scene in AitD illustrates that sometimes a victim could have done more to help themselves. Not always, but sometimes. This is a delicate subject so I hope you understand I’m not trying to victim blame. Just saying that rape, like all crimes, doesn’t always deal in absolutes. Unlike media, real life is often complicated and tragic. Good people can give in to temptation. Be weak, do bad things, or allow those bad things to happen. England told America to stop, but failed to follow it up when needed. When America pushed for more and used England’s own words to argue he’d already been given consent, that was when England needed to push back. Interpretation comes in here but, personally, I think if England had told America to stop when prompted, America would have. But England didn’t and he gave in instead. Something America took as a tacit “yes.” Again, not right, but understandable in how it could happen. Their power imbalance had grown extreme, stress and feelings were running high, they were struggling to connect as they used to, England’s prior cowardice and separation from Arthur prevented him from being strong when he needed to be, America was ignorant of his problem, and it all came together in a horrible, tragic mistake. All throughout, the rape continued to be brilliantly, awfully realistic. America not noticing - either genuinely or from denial - that England was not enjoying what was happening. England quickly becoming too distracted by the pain to do anything other than focus on enduring it. Then the aftermath where America didn’t realise what he’d just done due to coming down from a post-sex, post-stress euphoria. Awful, miserable, horrifying, tragic, perfectly crafted scene.

Which brings me to my final reason why this comic impressed me in its depiction of rape: where the story goes from there. Where it goes and how the narrative builds from the rape instead of trying to move on because the “shocking” part is over and now we’re in diminishing returns. Going back to my first point, too many stories see rape as something that happens in an isolated part of the narrative. It happened, it was shocking and brutal, now it’s done and we can move on because we didn’t plan to interweve the rape with the rest of the story. So we won’t give it the weight it needs. At best the victim might get a few scenes expressing their trauma later on - maybe a callback or two - but that’s it. It’s shallow. Plenty of fictional rapes could be replaced with a savage beating and nothing would change. In the worst cases you could remove the rape, not replace it with anything, then run the story with minimal problems. Not so in AitD. There, the rape isn’t just another semi-important plot point. It’s a crucial one which couldn’t be replaced with anything else. The whole first part of the story, the engine of the narrative, is built around America and England failing to deal with their changing relationship. A relationship between a pair of humans who also happen to be strange, immortal beings that ordinary humans can’t understand. Changing from platonic/familial to romantic over hundreds of years. With romance comes lust. Lust can be perfectly healthy just like any other bodily appetite. In this case it became twisted by circumstance, and the only “suitable” narrative payoff was rape. Nothing else would have had the necessary impact.

Then there’s how the rape compares to the final sex scene in some classic narrative juxtaposition. The final sex scene which happens to be the only one in the comic that’s fully consensual on both sides. The one that goes beyond sex and becomes real, honest to goodness lovemaking. It’s a perfect contrast. The rape scene had all the trappings of a classic romance. Right down to it being their first time and taking place in a rose garden. But it’s tragic, horrifying, and deeply unsexy. Then, near the end of their story, America and Arthur get lost on their road trip and have sex in their car. Their crappy, cramped car, where they’re surrounded by ordinary luggage, both of them sweaty and a little cranky with each other after a long day. It’s awkward, ordinary, imperfect and gorgeous. If we didn’t have the rape before to show us the nadir of this relationship, the healing and the dawn that came after wouldn’t be half so meaningful. A very strange thing to say without context, but it was a perfectly done rape that gave the audience the payoff of perfectly done lovemaking. It’s no small feat to get a reader to cheer for a romantic resolution after all of the above. Kind of in awe of Hotama’s skills, I tell you what.

Up to this point and I don’t know what else there is to say other than, geez. This comic, man. Blew me away. I’m so happy I rediscovered my interest in Hetalia if for no other reason than I got to read Arthur in the Dark. I’m a bit of a bookworm in my spare time and I’ve read quite a lot of classic literature over the years. Classic literature with rape scenes not crafted half so well as AitD did. Really think about that. An amateur fan comic based on a jokey gag series about national personifications being silly with each other. Did better at something than the books we hold up as the best of the best. Can’t really say anything else than that is genuinely bloody amazing

[firstruleofmethclub]

Ranking the Primarchs specifically by how good an idea it is to name your children after them:

1. Konrad Curze. This is great because it’s the cool name of a guy I love, and a multi-faceted reference, but basically just a name you’d see in the wild already. I think Konrad is better spelt with a K than a C anyway, and if you’re worried about the last name, you can either go to its inspiration and use “Kurtz”, or simply substitute with your own!

2. Rogal Dorn. Now I’m not a fan of the character, but the name is a great one-two punch. It’s phonetic, it’s unique enough to be noteworthy, but not bizarre enough to cause the kid too many problems. You can substitute Dorn for your own family name, but honestly with this one, I recommend you keep it. Maybe change your own family name to match.

3. Magnus the Red. Now if you’re putting a “the” in your kid’s name, and following it by a “2nd”, you are already causing them enough grief, but if you’re putting anything other than a number there, it’s gonna be ten times worse. That said, Magnus in isolation is both a great name, and a real one that won’t turn too many heads. It’s maybe a little pretentious, but if the greatest chess player in the world can’t be pretentious, then who can be?

4. Lorgar. Basically just the poor man’s Rogal Dorn, naming your scion Lorgar will give you the chance to have them carry your own surname, instead of a fictional one, but it’s unlikely this will result in one as iconic as our VIIth or VIIIth Primarchs. While rating these, I tried to think how a teacher doing their first roll call of the new class would handle reading the name, and I think they could handle “Lorgar”, and your kid probably will suffer only minor teasing for it at absolute worst.

5. Vulkan. A pretty legit name! The thing here is, everyone will be assuming you named your kid after an entirely different space thing. And the ones who see it written will think you don't even know how to spell it right. My partner thought me putting Vulkan this high was stupid, but then I read out some of the other names that are coming up and she was suddenly much less bothered by Vulkan making #5.

6. Horus. Everyone who hears it spoken will assume it's "Horace", and everyone who sees it written will assume you named them after Egyptian mythology. But still not a bad get.

7. Jaghatai Khan. Now this one’s just a variant spelling of a famous guy from actual human history. That might get noticed by a few people, and some others might have a lot of trouble sounding it out at a glance, but honestly, if my roommate can order pizza exclusively using the name “Atilla the Fun”, you can name your kid after Chagatai Khan.

8. Lion El’Johnson. This one is a mixed bag. I’m often thinking, you could just take the first name from a lot of these, and ditch the surname, but that’s a bad idea here. If you pull straight from the inspiration for the first Primarch, and name your child Lionel Johnson, you’ll be fine. But if you’re at a kid’s birthday and your poor baby has to introduce themself as “Lion”, that’s gonna cause a world of hurt for them real quick.

9. Leman Russ. Now honestly, taken as a whole, this one’s actually a pretty bad idea. Anybody who sees that you called your kid “Leman” will think you wanted them to have a bad life. "Lemon" might not the most wounding of jibes, but the real reason this one gets even as high as a middling rating is because if you name your kid “Leman Russ X” on paper, and just call them “Russ” in day-day-operations, like people do with middle names, that’s actually not bad.

10. Mortarion. Mortarion is a pretty cool name, that belongs to a man whom it suits very well “Death guy, the guy of death”. For sure. But I want you to imagine this: You’re a single parent, you’re at the park, there’s another good looking single parent by the bench. You’re ready to make your move. You help your kid down from the monkey bars and make your way over, holding their hand. You say “Hey, I see you around here a lot. I’m just here with my child, Mortarion”. You see where I’m going. +1pt for Morty.

11. Roboute Guilliman. This is one that almost seems like a real name. Almost. I’ve come to this list with a very Western-focused mindset, just because that’s where I live, but no matter where in the world your child grows up, you’re putting them through pronunciation hell by naming them Roboute Guilliman. +1pt for sharing the very generic nickname of just “Rob” or “Bob” though. This is a genuinely bad idea, but naming your progeny after the big blue boyscout is gonna seem like a great idea compared to basically the very quick slide downhill we have from this point on.

12. Fulgrim. Has definite potential as a last name, but the teasing potential is high while the resemblance-to-an-actual-name factor is low. Saving grace is its mercifully low syllable count of 2.

13. Sanguinius. Could make a great last name, maybe even middle name, but it's an absolute mouthful to put on a kid as a first name. A similar situation to the above, but with twice the syllables. Very little nickname potential.

14. Omegon. One of the somewhat subtler references, not even everyone with a passing knowledge of Primarch lore is aware that this guy is one. But this mainly just means people will think you named your spawn in anticipation of your soon-to-be-released laundry detergent, instead of a secret space baby. I’m only gonna defend this if you had twins, and unfortunately, you’re probably need to name the other one #16. +1 pt for “Meg”.

15. Corvus Corax. Definitely the one that’s most likely to have people asking “What did you name your kid after?” They might not know it’s a Primarch, but they know it’s some dumb nerd shit. Alliterative names are fun though, and they sound like they could make friends with Michael Corvin in class for “Names we rejected for the dude from The Crow”.

16. Alpharius. While certainly not the worst case scenario for pronunciation, it’s definitely gonna be a struggle for your young’n. The real kicker here is that you’ve named your child after a nigh-immortal demigod from the far future, and you’ve managed to pick not only one of the ones that dies, but you haven’t even picked one with a cool name. If we’re throwing practical out the window, it may as well at least not be lame. +1pt for “Alf”. Mm. Maybe make that half a point.

17. Angron. Much like the real Angron, this one seems like you're setting your child up to be saddled with rage issues. +1pt for “Ron”.

18. Ferrus Manus. Comes with a built-in surname, which could be a pro, but more likely it just causes problems, especially when that surname is “Manus”. Even if you don't use it, you're still stuck with Ferrus as a bad first name. You could make "Rus" a nickname out of it I guess, but there's Leman Russ above, which is just a much better use case for that argument on all fronts, including the extra s.

19. Perturabo. Not a great guy, very little nickname potential, directly attached to the works of a real-world insane cultist, doesn't sound too good as a new name, big struggle with these letters that look like they're about to all spell different things, and to me, Perturabo as a word sort of always evoked… I dunno. Tantrums and illnesses. Not something you want for you and yours, I’m sure. Also, “Perty”? Eugh.

20. The Purged. Seems like it'd be tough to get past the naming convention requirements of most countries.

21. The Forgotten. Has the same problems as the above, but it's much cooler to be purged than to be forgotten. Plus, this would be super rude, no? Like, Bart from the Simpsons out in the rain not being picked up by his dad, but that's your NAME.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #43 – Witch King by Martha Wells

Last Hugo (novel) nomination of the year! And I actually read them all before worldcon for once. (Maybe I should actually buy a supporter ticket and vote next year.) Unlike most of the other nominees, I walked into this one with pretty firm pre-existing expectations – I am an absolutely massive fan of Wells’ Murderbot books and so have a generally quite high opinion of her, but I have heard rather mixed things about the book from friends who’ve read it before me (some very positive, others quite harsh). Unfortunately, I mostly have to side with the negative appraisals here.

Well, ‘negative’. The book was fine. If it had been a hugo nominee last year it probably would have been in my top three (happily, in 2024 the competition is much, much tougher). So most of this review is going to come across as very hostile, but to be clear I read the thing in four days or so, it was never offensively bad or anything. It’s just its flaws are most of what seems interesting to talk about as I sit down and think about it.

The book follows Kai, a demon prince left stranded wearing a human body after the passage between the mortal and demon worlds is sealed off. The story begins with him being woken after being imprisoned in an ancient tomb for nearly a year, and jumps between the present day (where he is escaping imprisonment and investigating what happened and etc) and about a generation previously, where he is a key part of the beginning of the rebellion which overthrew the Hierarch's empire and created the world which now seems threatened.

My biggest issue with the story, I think, is that it felt unfinished. Both in the sense that it could have used a sharp editing pass on cutting some fat, and that it only felt like the first third or so of a story. The past timeline is basically the first act (if not the prologue) of a traditional epic fantasy story, while the present day storyline ends in a complete anticlimax, and in any event turns out to be a sideshow to and cleanup of the real actually important plot that had all occurred offscreen before Kai was captured. In both cases there were many scenes where when reading them I was left wondering why this was what the book was spending precious, finite wordcount on.

The comparison I’d draw isn’t Wells’ murderbot books, or even really any traditionally published books at all – it’s serial fiction. When an author is publishing chapters week-to-week, you naturally end up with many scenes that exist because they were easy or fun to write, and the author needed to build themselves up a buffer while they figured out where the story was actually going. Which is frankly just a necessary fact of life in that medium, but far less understandable when you are trying to fit a complete, compelling narrative into 400 pages. I wouldn’t otherwise care about the sheer number of words dedicate to describing seemingly every supporting character’s outfits or the architecture of random hillforts, but as I saw the amount of book left shrink they did start to grate (I would have found the drawn-out-yet-tensionless action scenes annoying regardless).

Which is all very irksome, because there is a very compelling story there – the immortal companion to the heroic rebel, helping him overthrow a cruel empire and establish a new, peaceful and liberated order, only to grow increasingly disillusioned as he watches his friends son try to cement his grip on power and create a new empire in all but name. Pathos, intrigue, meaty character drama! It’s all there! And it just all happens off screen and entirely between the two stories, for some inexplicable reason.

So leaving aside plot, there’s the setting. The book goes out of its way to draw the readers attention to it, with epigraphs at the beginning of chapters lecturing on some bit of sociology or history, and lots of exposition within the main text. There’s a half dozen different cultures and ethnicities with their own naming conventions, political systems, and styles of dress. It’s clearly presented as something impressive – and it just all feels very surface level?

And okay, I am someone who reads an essay series on the economics of premodern wheat agriculture for fun, my expectations in this realm are atypical and probably unreasonable. But, like – this is ostensibly a setting without elves or dwarves or any non-human races besides demons. But the Hierarch’s empire only makes sense if they’re just literally orcs. Crossing an ocean to conquer a new continent seemingly just so you can massacre and depopulate it is not really normal human behaviour! It’s not like they were colonists settling the land, either – it’s explicitly mentioned that much of the continent is just a desolate waste. I kept waiting for some dark wizard ritual or eldritch scheme to explain the why here, but despite repeatedly teasing some secret about their homeland, this wasn’t something the narrative was actually interested in.

The nations of the Rising World Coalition aren’t really as load-bearing to the plot, but still – the idea that there was this whole state system of premodern principalities and republics that had no institutional memory of war kind of beggars belief, and I’m left slightly annoyed that there was a implication-laden conversation about witches being so profoundly weird that they had no renegades because ‘there was nothing to rebel against’ despite clearly having institutional lineages and elders, which was absolutely never followed up on. But all that is admittedly picking out quite tiny nits.

Of more significance is the fact that the societies and politics of the world feel like set dressing for the actions of the dozen or so people who are powerful and Important enough to actually matter, with everyone else helpless against their influence. This is the issue with having a book that wants to be about the importance of doing politics and forging alliances and convincing people of a better way forward, but which has no interest in actually showing what goes into any of that onscreen – so you end up with a prince whose just supernaturally charismatic and persuasive, and a demon who reveals that they already won at court intrigue five years before the story began.

Character interactions are a big part of the real meat of the story, and I leave them for last because I actually do have some nice things to say here. The jumping between past and present letting you see how the relationships begun back then developed and ended up panning out makes everyone’s dynamics very fun (even if doing that you probably could have been a bit less obvious about the foreshadowing in the past too. Bickering reluctant allies to lovers is a fine plot, but if you’ve already revealed they’re going to end up married you don’t need to signpost it so obviously in every single scene they have together in the past too).

By far the most compelling relationship to me was actually the one between the imperial agent who ends up tagging along and helping in the present (who was several decades from being born in the past timeline) and Kai. In large part because there was a real sense of ambiguity and tension there, and subtext that wasn’t instantly dragged up into the foreground.

Anyway, yeah, I probably went into this with expectations too high – but oh boy does it not live up to muderbot.

[itsclydebitches]

Okay, so I saw this RWBY meme made by a fan and I can't remember it completely but it was about Emerald switching sides. What stood out to me was the language used and how Ruby's group was specifically referred to as "The Good Guys side" and if that doesn't show how broken this show's morality is then I don't know what does. Emerald switched to the side of good, not just Ruby's side. The side that is specifically good because it's Ruby side. You're either with Ruby or against her with no in-between. Compare this to Aang's group in ATLA, affectionately called The Gaang by fans. A term that collectively refers to the group without proclaiming them as THE good guys. We know they're good because their actions show they are good. It isn't just a title grafted on because they're the stars of the show. And while they have an official grouping in the form of Team Avatar. It still isn't used in the same manner as RWBY fans calling all who agree with Ruby "The Good Guys".

Decided to start answering backlog asks! We've officially entered the post-RT discussion era. Fun! 😬

You know, RWBY is compared (unfavorably) to Avatar a lot, but this comparison is particularly interesting to me because Avatar is, well... Avatar. That's a title. And it's a title built into the fictional world, one that's so significant it's worthy of being the name of the show. The Avatar is a combined destiny/job description that, in the words of the wiki, is the "human embodiment of light and peace." Obviously free will still comes into play - I'd never ignore the significance behind Aang's personal choice of how to bring balance to the world - but there's an element of fate here, of self-fulfilling prophecy, and fourth wall-breaking knowledge. In-world, benders are (presumably) not chosen if they're unsuited to be this embodiment of peace. Once someone knows they're the avatar, they can more easily find the courage/determination to meet such high standards because this is how it's "supposed" to be (regardless of whether anything cosmic is actually ensuring their success). And the audience knows, by virtue of that title and our opening, how we're meant to view Aang: as the Good Guy of the story. All that already exists outside of the actions he takes within the show, helping to soften anything potentially suspect with a "Well, he's just a kid" or "Well, everyone makes mistakes," or whatever explanation that's technically true in any harrowing story featuring a young protagonist... but continually falls flat with Team RWBY.

Because RWBY didn't do that same work. RWBY doesn't have a handle on its own identity the way Avatar does. It laid some of the groundwork early on but then never capitalized on it, which is why I'm endlessly groaning over the failure of not doing anything with Ruby's status as a SEW/simple soul. Those could have easily been titles the way "Avatar" is a title, something that the people of Ruby's world see as cosmic evidence of her purity and inherent ability to lead them in this war. Instead, it's just a one-off, ambiguous statement and a very badly used skill.

So yeah, Emerald joins The Good Guys, which wouldn't be bad if, as said, the show had shown the group unambiguously being Good people in a war with black and white solutions. Or, if we had some reason to believe that Ruby is The One True Leader, destined/worthy of bearing this burden no matter the number of mistakes she's made. But RWBY even undermines the title aspect by making Ruby herself fairly inconsequential in later volumes. Yeah, the show is also named after this team/our protagonist... and yet that began to feel incidental as the cast grew AND many of the characters brought new - arguably better - perspectives + powers into the fray. Avatar made the simple but VERY important decision to say, "This is the ONLY GUY who can do this job. Sure, he's going to need a lot of help and saving the world is absolutely a team effort, but that team revolves around him because he is, again, the ONE PERSON who can accomplish this." RWBY failed to set that up and (arguably) failed to show the group being The Good Guys, at least to the extent that the whole world would understandably put their faith in a teenager who, frankly, just keeps making things worse. Like, that's a big consideration imo. Ruby's intentions have always been good and most fans are fully on her side regarding justifications for her choices, so in that sense she is absolutely The Good Guy, but beyond that she's just really bad at saving the world. So if she's not somehow ordained to do it and continually shows a severe lack of skill in this regard... why are the characters/the viewer rooting for her again?