#these donkeys are used for therapy

[icanseethefuture333]

How your voice sounds like & how you talk according to your 2nd & 3rd house 🗣:

Aries in the 2nd house & Taurus in the 3rd House:

Aries 2nd house people usually have a very husky/raspy voice and can talk pretty fast when they're excited or angry. Although, their Taurus in the 3rd house can make them more soft spoken in everyday life. If you get on their good side they will be sweet to you but if you piss them off they won't hestitate to drag you. They can be slick with their words. They are the type to be sneaky with their jokes and tease you without you even noticing till later what they said 💀 (Michael Jackson has this placement and everyone thinks he was so sweet but would literally sing 50 Cent in his car, cuss words and all lmao 😂)

Taurus in the 2nd house & Gemini in the 3rd house:

I know this sounds weird but Taurus 2nd house people talk more with their throat. Their voice sounds either very throaty or very nasally (I mean come on now - Shakira, Rihanna, G-Eazy, Cardi B, Heath Ledger, Stevie Nicks, AND Andrew Garfield. The proof is in the pudding). Their tone of voice is very unique but it's also attractive? They cound sound a little bit like they have a cold, its cute. If they are singers they use a lot of vibratto (don't worry I'll do a post on this too 🙄). Gemini in the 3rd house people could be very expressive with their faces when they talk and show a duality. They could also talk with different accents depending on who they are with.

Gemini in the 2nd house & Cancer in the 3rd house:

These people are very chatty around those they feel comfortable with. If they have a lot of air or fire in their birth chart they are friendly and love to socialize. If there is more earth and water they are shy but like to converse with whoever they are close to. Gemini 2nd house people tend to speak with a vocal fry. They could be emotional speakers as well with their Cancer in the 3rd house or they are good at making people feel heard during a conversation.

Cancer in the 2nd house & Leo in the 3rd house:

Their voices sound as if they're sleepy. Cancer 2nd house people's voices sound soft and airy. With a Leo in the 3rd house, they put some bass in their voice when they yell or get mad. Similar to a cat, they might be chill at first, and pur and meow, but if you piss them off they'll roar. They are very passionate and could choke up a bit or cry if they talk about a sensitive subject.

Leo in the 2nd house & Virgo in the 3rd house:

Leo 2nd house people growl as they talk, sing, or rap. Might even clear their throat before speaking. Could have some health problems with their throat or nose. They have the tendency to be congested. Virgo in the 3rd house could make them sound like a nerd when they talk about their interests 🤓

Virgo in the 2nd house & Libra in the 3rd house:

Virgo 2nd house people have very thin voices and typically sound high pitched, it's like their voices sound like it's struggling to come out (if their is voice is deeper it will sound gravely like Tyler, The Creator). They could require voice lessons or speech therapy at some point in their life. Possibly has social anxiety. Has or could develop a lisp. Talented when it comes to using their voice for entertainment like voice acting, reporting, speeches, singing, rapping, etc. (Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn or Eddie Murphy as Mushu and Donkey). With their Libra in the 3rd house they could have a way with words. They could be very charming when they speak and like to flirt. Might even turn on the charm to get what they want (I'm guilty of this).

Libra in the 2rd house & Scorpio in the 3rd house:

There is two spectrums with these people. On one hand their voices are very attractive and the way they speak can be sensual... or they can be vulgar and/or hilarious (1. Ice Spice, Michael B. Jordan, Usher, Lauren Jauregui, Keanu Reeves, Meagan Good, & Idris Elba 2. Dave Chapelle, Will Ferrell, Tom Hanks, Kevin Hart, & Ryan Reynolds 3. Dolly Parton & Childish Gambino are both great at singing and know how to do comedy). They are great at entertaining a crowd and could be the host at parties. They know how to make people laugh and blush, it's their way of seducing.

Scorpio in the 2nd house & Sagittarius in the 3rd house:

This combination can cause them to be poetic and philosophical. They are great when it comes it expressing their inner most personal thoughts. When angered, they will let you let you feel their wraith (I mean have you heard Beyoncé on her Lemonade album or Doja Cat on her lives? Lmao they do not fuck around). Their language is very blunt and they cuss a lot (Britney Spears: "Holy shitballs!" 😃 *starts spinning*). Scorpio 2nd house people voices are clear and deep (yes, like the ocean) but if they are around someone they talk in a baby voice. It's so funny too it's like they're usually this badass but then out of nowhere there's this silly high pitched voice 😭 (Kendrick Lamar: "put the pussy on a pedestal ~ put the pussy on a high stool ~ that pussy to die for, yeah that pussy to DIE for ~🎵") Honestly they're just crazy lmao

Sagittarius in the 2nd house & Capricorn in the 3rd house:

These people are SHADYYY. They love to throw shade (Prince) or air out people's dirty laundry if you do them wrong (Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, & Halsey have some of their biggest songs about their exes lol). These people are petty as hell! Sagittarius 2nd house can also give good advice and with their Capricorn in the 3rd house, they have a lot of wisdom to share. A teacher to those around. They will also tell you things about themselves but know not to overshare. They like to have the upperhand in a conversation and keep their next move a secret. They tend to speak "as a matter of factually" and come off as having a careless attitude if they smile. A lot of them speak with a similar tone as well (Anne Hathaway, Jada Pinkett Smith, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, Winona Ryder, and Kim Kardashian don't have the same voice but their Capricorn tone and Aquarius speech pattern is obvious to me). The men can seem very cool and relaxed, almost the bad boy type (Justin Bieber, Brad Pitt, Nicolas Cage, Eminem, & Elvis Presley).

Capricorn in the 2nd house and Aquarius in the 3rd:

These people are eccentric and are unique. They like to have a persona so they can keep their personal lives private. Their voices sound a bit quirky (I remember watching a interview with Adriana Lima and a lot of people were surprised to hear how she actually sounded).

Aquarius in the 2nd house and Pisces in the 3rd:

These people sound so cute imo??? Jimin from BTS, Ariana Grande, Zac Efron, Ashanti, & Jordin Sparks all have this placement and their voice is so soft like a cloud. Their sense of humor is weird and silly. They are quiet in comparison to others and are probably told often to speak louder. Or they could be slow talkers. Overall just really mellow people lol

Pisces in the 2nd house and Aries in the 3rd house:

These people are motivational speakers (Barack Obama) and are often being quoted for their iconic sayings (Nicki Minaj, Naomi Campbell, Zendaya, & Alicia Silverstone). They know how to connect to people and they are passionate when it comes to helping others. Most likely will be the person to stand up to a bully and defend the person being picked on. Pisces is caring while Aries is bold yet impulsive. These people need to practice "thinking before speaking" because it has a greater affect on not just themself but those around them.

[mightyoctopus]

Library posts on here have me so conflicted.

On one hand, libraries can provide a lot of value to a lot of people, and it's good to inform people of this. Like, I was recently talking to a friend (grown man in his 40s) who didn't know that you could read books for free at a library. The more people are informed about this matter, the better.

And of course, some libraries also provide other services such as movies, board games, internet, printers, 3D printers, cheap coffee, meeting rooms, courses, etc. Talking about this is also good, because many people can benefit from these services! Especially people who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford them.

But (and here comes the but), I feel like some people on this site are really insistent on claiming that all libraries offer all these services for free, always. And that no library has any flaws at all. And that anyone can access a library at any time. And if you don't, you're a traitor for not supporting your local library.

And like... there is so much wrong with that. First of all, not all libraries offer all these services. And if they do, they might not be available in minority languages. (Spanish in the USA, Turkish in Germany, etc.) And if they do, they're not always free. And this can vary greatly on region and country, too. Not the whole world is the USA. There's places where libraries are rare and spaced very far apart. There's places where libraries are "mobile", meaning they're a car filled with books. Or sometimes a donkey. I think it's great that mobile libraries exist! It's great that people in villages near me can get free books that way. But also, it's absurd to claim that they have the same type of access as someone from a big city. It's absurd to claim that they're class traitors and it's their own fault because they didn't "create demand" and "support their local library." They do not have a "local" library. Not everyone has a local library!

And even if there is a library near you, it's very possibly inaccessible! Most countries do not have laws regarding accessible design, and if they do, they're rarely enforced. Before you go on praising how all libraries are perfect and wonderful, ask yourself, how many are accessible to disabled people? Which disabled people? Wheelchair users? Blind and visually impaired people? Immunocompromised people? There's so many of us. Yet we are so often left out.

Some countries have libraries specifically for disabled people, but most often you need to qualify and prove your disability. I have a membership in such a library. A lot of them will only accept visual impairment and no other disability. I was lucky I was in occupational therapy at the time of my enrollment, because my therapist could approve my paperwork for me. Otherwise I might not have been able to join. It's online only and costs money. It's not free. A lot of books are region-locked since I'm not in the USA. And yet I am so grateful everyday for this opportunity, for this access to books. I know many disabled people aren't so lucky.

My point is not that libraries are bad, but that libraries are very diverse. Pretending like all libraries are not only perfectly alike, but also perfect, helps no one. Libraries can provide vital services, but they do not provide these services equally around the world, and they do not provide these services equally to all people.

If you truly love libraries so much, fight to make them better, fight to make them accessible. Don't silence those of us who are left out.

[mariikado]

Bookshelf in Good Omens 2. What clues to look for and what to pay attention to when reading each book.

And don't show this to Neil! And don't ask him about it!

Carefully! There may be spoilers here.

1. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith.

The main character sits alone and writes a diary. There is also a very interesting love polygon in the book. At the very end of the book there is an interesting moment about the girl’s father, who writes his book in an interesting way.

For me, this was the answer to why Good Omens 2 was made the way it was: incomprehensible, confusing and with a lot of questions after viewing.

2. No Woman No Cry: My Life with Bob Marley by Rita Marley.

This is Maggie and Nina's book.

Look for the donkey, as well as the story of Rita's shooting. Notice what Rita says when she remembers Bob (he's dead, but he's everywhere).

3. The Crow Road by Iain Banks.

Not only discussions about God are important, but also the meaning of the expression “the crow road.” Notice the angelic goats dressed as ravens in the intro. Remember the story of Job, remember those little goats who followed the crow's path. Try to tie it all together.

And also pay attention to the meaning of matches. What do they mean for the story in the book and could they mean the same for our story?

Crowley recommends this book to Muriel not only because it contains a lot of discussions about God. He knows how important the matchbox is in the story, and he wants Muriel to know it too. Muriel must know that matches are the key to solving the mystery. At the very end of the second season, the story is just beginning to develop. The matchbox doesn't appear in the plot yet, but it will happen in the future, and Muriel must know in advance what it means. I think so.

4. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon.

A very interesting main character, with a very interesting perception of the world around him. I think this is a hint on how to watch Good Omens 2. The second season needs to be watched the way this boy looks at the world around him. He also has interesting thoughts, some of which may be important to our story.

5. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

I have identified five characters. One of them is a naked man (note the reason for his undressing), the second character experiences déjà vu and has strange relationships with colleagues, the third character will do anything for profit (even if he has to bomb his own), the fourth character is compared to God (note , what ultimately happens to him), and the fifth is not entirely noticeable, but wears fake glasses and a mustache. Find them all and analyze what happens to them and why, what their goals are and what consequences their actions have. Think about how this all fits into our story and who these five characters are like.

6. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez.

Besides the wonderful love triangle, there are almonds to be found here. This is a small clue to the meaning of almond coffee. The character is a photographer with his secret love - I think this is also a small key to unraveling the mystery of Good Omens 2.

7. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

There are matches here too, find them. Try to analyze the thoughts of the main character. I still couldn't decide who this book belonged to: Aziraphale, Crowley or Muriel. I'm leaning towards Muriel. Although Neil said that Muriel may not be Muriel in season three. So Aziraphale or Crowley could become Muriel in the future. I still think it's Aziraphale.

The main character of this book underwent shock therapy, and this smoothly leads us to the next book.

8. 1984 by George Orwell.

If you still doubt that history is being rewritten within history, do not doubt it. This book is direct proof. I would also suggest that the shock therapy in the book is an analogue to the erasing of memory and reformatting of consciousness in our history. Then that would explain what I said earlier about Muriel. This book confirms all my previous theories and reasoning. Who, for what purpose and how many times rewrites history - we will find out in season 3.

9. The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler.

This book contains another clue to the mystery of almond coffee. The book also features a dead bookstore owner who photographed the character's real killer, who was illegally transporting alcohol. There is a little quote about how everything was planned in advance, and this quote is said during the kiss.

10. In this post I talked about the Bible: here.

But I forgot to mention Aaron's rod. This is another key to almond coffee. Read the story of how flowers grew from Aaron's rod and what it means.

11. The Great Gatsby by Francis Scott Fitzgerald.

Gatsby was a liquor smuggler, he loved a blonde and in the end he got shot because of her, don't forget that. This all dates back to 1941. So who's shooting who?

12. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

To be honest, I have a hard time understanding why this book is on the shelf. The book could be there because of a guy who has a dead red-haired brother (yes, Crowley's brother or twin could very well be real). The book may be there because of the story of catching children over an abyss (the story of Job). The book may be there because of the description of the film, in which a guy loses his memory after a war (after the apocalypse, someone has to survive).

13. A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.

I recommend reading this series of books and also watching the series. I think the books and the show together will help you understand who Sadie is in Good Omens 2.

Also look for snakes, zombies, anything related to crows, secret codes used by characters (Prime uses them too). Look for smart thoughts, there are many of them. Look for librarians, read about the secret society. We ourselves are a small secret society: we collect information bit by bit, analyze it and share it with each other. Everyone notices something different and everyone is right in their own way. There are many clues in both the books and the show. Feel free to draw parallels. There are even moments that are filmed very similarly in both series.

14. Herzog by Saul Bellow.

A difficult book. Lots of talk about God and faith. I relate this book to the character who will survive the whole apocalypse mess in season 3. Read it for yourself, maybe you will have other thoughts.

15. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

This book needs to be read from cover to cover. The whole story with the revolution and the French guillotine. Think about who those same revolutionaries in our history could be.

All moments with similarities between the two main characters, and also pay attention to the spy. Remember that Jane Austen is a spy. I still assume Jane Austen is Shax. In episode 4, Shax becomes Crowley; Before the stunt, Shax becomes like Aziraphale. Thus, in the dressing room there is a spy and two characters similar to each other (you can read about this here). There is a scene at the end of the book that may shed some light on what is really going on in the dressing room.

In the book you can also find a rose on the hat. Think about this character and the reason he put a rose on his hat.

Find this sign “👆” and its meaning in the book.

Find a seamstress in a book who walks hand in hand with someone very similar to the main character.

This book is on many posters in the hands of Aziraphale for a reason.

16. Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad.

Just read Lord Jim's story and apply it to our Jim.

17. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Jim is also in this book. And this Jim stole a treasure map from a bad pirate. We can only guess what Jim brought to the bookstore in our story: a “map of buried treasure,” a book of life, the power of God. What other options?

18. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Yes, there is a very interesting love story and more than one. A parallel can be drawn with both couples from the book. Jane Austen herself also plays an important role throughout the second season.

Read books, look for clues, superimpose season 2 on these books. This is the wonderful world of Good Omens - an incredible work and an amazing journey!

[kuroneko1815]

Penelope does therapy… on Callisto

Callisto: so why do I have to do this?

Penelope: It’s to heal your inner child

Callisto: What’s there to heal?

Penelope looking at her charts: according to reports, you have large scale emotional outbursts, destructive tendencies such as mass murder, an inability to explain your feelings, and a fear of abandonment when it comes to your relationships.

Callisto: My outbursts are within the normal range, so what if a few kingdoms fell? That’s normal. Mass murder is not a destructive tendency, it’s a way of blowing off steam and a fun past time. Who needs feelings anyway? And what are you talking about? I feel no such sense of fear.

Penelope: So if I left and…

Callisto panics: What? Why are you leaving me? Princess, no! Don’t leave me!!! (Clings to her.)

Penelope: You were saying? I was going to say I was going to the Duchy for a bit.

Callisto: That’s mean! Why are you going to leave me?!?

Penelope writes on her chart: Yeah, you definitely need it.

-

-

Penelope: Okay, first close your eyes and focus on my voice, take three deep breaths.

Callisto, holding Penelope’s hands, tightly in fear, does as he’s told.

Penelope: Tell me one thing you smell

Callisto: Your scent

Penelope: One thing you hear

Callisto: Your heartbeat

Penelope: Huh? How?

Callisto: Dragon hearing

Penelope: Okay, moving on… one thing you feel

Callisto: Your hand

Penelope frustrated: One thing you taste

Callisto puts her hand up and licks it: You

Penelope: …

-

-

Penelope: That was a bust, lets try the next one, nurturing your creativity

Callisto: So why paints and paper?

Penelope: try them

Callisto hesitantly touches the paint: Eww

Penelope: What? You’re used to blood and mud but not paint

Callisto: But it’s wet and sticky

Penelope: So’s blood

Reynold walks in: Cool, paints! (Starts painting a stick man of himself standing over everyone as the supreme champion of all competitions and as the ultimate knight)

Callisto eventually gives in to Penelope’s look and draws himself standing over the corpses of his dead enemies and explains it. The other side of the painting is taken up with Callisto carrying Penelope with a whole gaggle of their children.

Reynold: That’s lame

Callisto: Oh yeah? What did you draw?

Reynold: It’s Super Reynold and his side kick spider donkey

Penelope as she watches them argue over who had the better painting: …

-

-

Penelope: How about you try collecting something?

Callisto: Oh, well, that’s easy, I already collect a few things

Penelope: Oh, can you show me?

Callisto: Well…

Callisto shows Penelope his collection of swords from his felled enemies, the collection of the flags of the kingdoms he’s defeated, and his Penelope collection, from strands of hair to gifts she’s given him.

Penelope: … no… just… no…

-

-

Penelope: How about we try visualizing things. Think back to your childhood, what would you think would be your ideal childhood

Callisto: Well, I’d have met you earlier as children.

Penelope: That’s sweet but I’d still be a baby, you’re five years older than I am

Callisto: Then, I’ll steal you away as my bride and lock you away from the world, I’ll take care of you of course. And then it would be better if I can sacrifice my half brother to a volcano. And then maybe feed my stepmother to some sharks… hmm… maybe I’d tear down Delman earlier and kill them all…

Penelope: this just took a turn…

-

-

Penelope: Okay, fine, let’s try some journaling

Callisto: Do I have to show it to you?

Penelope: No.

Callisto: I want to show you

Penelope: Okay

Callisto: Today, I saw Penelope again, she looked so pretty…

Callisto continues to wax poetics about her and she’s blushing: And just before I forget, I also executed some rebels and had so much fun.

Penelope: … you are hopeless.

-

-

Penelope: Okay, last one… let’s try playing

Callisto: Oh (Waggles his brows and tries to strip)

Penelope: What are you doing?

Callisto: You said we were going to play. You know, our code word for fun times in bed

Penelope: No! I mean we play with these children’s toys

Reynold who walked in: Wow! I remember these. (Proceeds to play with them)

Callisto: Why didn’t you ever try these on your brother

Penelope: You think he needs to work on his inner child? He never grew up. That’s his natural state. A perpetual child!

[middlingmay]

Hi 🥰, I hope you're doing well. If it's okay, could you tell us a little bit about your Horse Trainer!Gale and Veteran!Bucky au? It intrigues me a lot. I love reading your various AUs, they're so nice.

Hello! 😊 I'm braw, thank you, I hope you are too? I love your blog! And it's always so nice when you interact with my posts. I'm so glad you like my AUs so far, thank you so much!

I'm going to tag @trashbag-baby666 here, too, because they also asked about this particular AU.

I've written the first part of it, which will be posted in the next week or two, but like most of my AUs it starts a little heavy and before the fellas actually meet.

So! Here's some more lighthearted snippets from that AU:

In a nutshell, Gale runs a therapy clinic for people, and works with horses to help them process what they're going through. John finds his way to the clinic after meeting Curt one night. More on that in Part 1.

Gale never actually planned to open a therapy clinic with horses. It was kind of an accident.

He inherited the land from a grandparent on the condition that he kept all the horses and operated the ranch. And for some reason, people just kind of, arrived, found him easy to talk to, and next think he knew Marge was setting him up as a Charity.

Gale was just treating people like he would spooked horses, and apparently that was helpful, so.

He does take it seriously, once it's up an running though.

He's terrible with donors. They want to be schmoozed and charmed and flattered, and Marge has told him more than once he can be terrible controlling his face when faced with that level of bullshit.

John is terrible with horses, but delights in the donkeys. There's one donkey that runs to the fence whenever it sees John, and Gale doesn't and will never understand their relationship. John will talk to it for ages and Gale's fairly sure the donkey talks back.

John develops a habit of hanging back and watching Gale whenever he leaves on a ride, exercising the horses or heading out with a client. Gale thinks it's concern and John's fear of horses and it's kind of sweet. But really, John's looking at his hips and his ass, because he is a weak, weak man for Gale.

I hope that wets your whistle until I get round to posting part one ❤

[pamsimmerstories]

they had A LOT to talk

previous || next

[avery]: just ask me anything.

[freya]: why did you have to leave...when your dad died

[avery]: i couldn’t breathe, freya. i felt like it was my fault, that night, our first time, just happened because i was mad at him. our last conversation, it was me and my dad arguing. i felt like i ruined everything and i would ruin you at some point.

[freya]: oh, avery...

[avery]: i know... i’ve been working on it on my therapy sessions. i’m far from being the man you deserve, but i’m working on it, freya.

[freya]: you’re perfect for me, avery. since we started dating. and you don’t ruin things... it’s just... life. but i’m glad you’re looking for professional help. because it wasn’t your fault your dad died.

[avery]: i’m working on it, sometimes i know it wasn’t, but sometimes i keep playing our last conversation in my mind and i hate how  he died right after i told him he was just like his mother. i knew he hated that and i said it anyway

[avery]: i just wanted to take all back and tell him how much i loved him. but i was so mad because he kept pushing me to go to college.

[freya]: and are you happy? finishing your degree?

[avery]: i don’t know for sure... i feel like i can do it, for him. so i’m okay with my choice.

[freya]: as long as you’re happy and in peace with your choice...

[avery]: what about you? an actress now, huh? *smirks*

[freya]: *rolls eyes* that’s definitely not for me. but there’s another season. and i signed the contract already. i don’t need to break it. i’ll have to be back in del sol valley in a few weeks.

[avery]: i hate that you’re going away, freya.

[freya]: i hate that, too. but i won’t let go of you while i’m here.

[avery]: *grins* good!

[avery]: and what else do you want to know, donkey?

[freya]: uh... *bites lip* what about you and valentina?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[freya]: ugh! collin is such a snitch!

[avery]: *laughs* he tried so hard to bring us closer together. you have no idea how happy he is right now. i’m so happy that you here.

[freya]: i’m sorry about jasper...

[avery]: why are you apologizing? i broke up with you and i told you to be happy and move on. and you did. there’s nothing wrong with that, frey.

[freya]: i feel terrible about what i did to him... but i really tried to like him. but i never got over you

[avery]: part of me feels sorry for him, but another part of me, a huge part of me, loves that you never got over me *grins*

[freya]: avery! and now you’re living in the same building as him. what if he sees us?

[avery]: i won’t ever do anything on purpose to rub our relationship on his face. but i won’t hide it if we meet him in the hallways.

[freya]: i guess that’s fair. and he knows i love you. that’s why we broke up that night after the bluffs. he thought i was cheating on him, he was gonna propose, i feel like just because he saw you as threat...

[avery]: i guess i have to step up my game now.

[freya]: don’t be silly! i started it... i thought you were having a kid, and sort of asked him to have a baby, too

[avery]: were you trying to have a baby with jasper villareal?

[freya]: hey! you got valentina villareal pregnant!

[avery]: what a pair we are, huh?!

[freya]: i know, right?! god! i was so out of my mind thinking about having a baby so soon.

[avery]: do you still want to have a baby?

[freya]: what are you implying?

[avery]: i didn’t want to have a baby before, but now i do.

[freya]: right now?

[avery]: *laughs* no, geez! i want to enjoy you for a while, for the time we lost... just you, me and finn :)

[freya]: i like that idea

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S3

Michael personally intervening on behalf of all of his friends is SO SWEET. I love him

Honestly I am eating up Tahani’s fake Vogue interview, I love one (1) out-of-touch celebrity

“K, will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be my wife?” Jason proposing to every person he meets is also endearing in its own way. He’s so sincere about it LMAO

Patiently awaiting when he proposes to Chidi and Eleanor. Even Pillboi was not immune 

Honestly sneaking around and altering the mechanics of the universe that more powerful immortal beings are overseeing has worked in Michael’s favour so far, so why stop now?

Silly of them not to caption it, but pretty certain Chidi’s French dialogue exchange was, “T’es prêt, Chidi?” “Allez-y sans moi, je suis là.” “D’accord. À tout à l'heure.” (”Ready Chidi?” “Go on without me, I’m [almost] there.” “Alright. See you later.”)

Eleanor getting immediately defensive about being present for Chidi as if they have not been drawn together in like 800 separate universes:

“Chidi, your brain is broken, you need to fix your brain.” Uzo said: Good friends tell you when you need therapy

“You just march into my office unannounced, tell me your brain is broken, and demand I drop everything and just put you in the university’s 3 million dollar MRI machine?” This is why Chidi and Eleanor are soulmates LMAO. Very goal-oriented 

“You’re so weird. Let’s go!” I like Simone even though I’m certain she’s not Australian

Hahahahahah Eleanor imagining everyone in every story as sexy explains a lot about how she operates. That and she has hot friends

“We torture like 30 billion humans. Why do you care so much about these four?” Glenn asks a very reasonable question

Hahahaha I wonder how they decide what things to describe as objectively terrible in this show. Is it one writer or is it by committee

“Goodness isn’t something that a person inherently has. It’s something that she achieves through her actions.” I love how in every abstract example they use ‘she’ instead of ‘he.’ Both because Eleanor is the main character and because it’s refreshing

“I can’t just do things like that.” Chidi confirming he has never made a move on anyone and has only been subject to his girlfriend’s moves

“I’ve been running simulations on what their kids would be like. One of them is hot enough to be on The Bachelor, and smart enough to never go on The Bachelor.” LMAO JANET 

Also Michael said: Team Cheleanor 4 eternity (me too)

Also also also: Janet finally embracing Michael as her dad for one (1) minute hahaha

Michael’s love and want to help his friends also being their downfall 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭:

“I was never really that into her, no offense.” Eleanor immediately charming Tahani by not caring about her sister hahah

Tahani said: Uno reverse, I’m the Buddhist monk now, Jason

Tahani turning her near death experience and subsequent moral crisis into a self-help book that makes her more rich and well-known than before. Honestly good for her, get ur money girl

“I want you thinking about dance 24/7. That means every day you think 20 thoughts about dance for seven minutes.” Jason’s dialogue continues to be as iconic on Earth as it was in the afterlife 

I love that we’re finally meeting Donkey Doug of the Sixty-Person-Dance-Crew-Boogie-Board-Moral-Relativism story:

Fhfhkfhfkjhfkjfh all the people who walked out because they weren’t allowed to crime LOL

“When I’m with you, I feel like the sky’s the limit.” Pillboi is also a good friend, if not a good person kghjkghgj

“But I met new friends who helped me become a better... person.” I love Michael and Jason’s existential heart-to-hearts. I think he resonates with Eleanor and Jason most for obvious reasons

Also the hesitation for Michael to describe himself as a person HA

I also love the Side Arc of Michael making friends with Burt Hummel, the Doorman to Earth Who Loves Frogs:

“We did it, Janet. We got away with it,” said Michael, in what I’m sure isn’t foreshadowing of this immediately biting them in the ass

OMG NOT THE RETURN OF ADAM SCOTT AS TREVOR THE ME TOO DEMON LMAO

I won’t lie to you, it wasn’t until the whip-it cannisters that I understood that a whip-it is a physical object and not an action, and apparently a more sophisticated equivalent of huffing glue. Who knew? Not me!

“Darling do you remember all the rules about what can and cannot be worn in an MRI?” Tahani calling Eleanor darling <3 Also take off the metal girl 

JANET’S ON EARTH AND READY TO FIGHT FOR HER HOMIES:

(Drive-by commentary that Janet is hot—the uniform suits her!)

Janet and Michael are really struggling to deal with their mortal coil(s)

Firm believer that consensual sex between informed adults is morally neutral, but Tahani and Jason flirting does feel like infidelity lol (poor Janet)

“I’m sorry, but [not being friends] is just how it has to be.” IS THAT TRUE, CHIDI

Demon-All-Knowing-Personal-Assistant-Nicer-Demon standoff in the bathroom

“I got a solid eight minutes, not consecutively, but that’s fine. You’re barely even blurry.” I know it’s probably not in my best interests to strongly identify with Chidi but I strongly identify with Chidi

I’m very glad that Jason and Tahani didn’t drunkenly hook up but I do still view any of their flirting as an affront to Jason’s wife Janet LOL

“I’m asking you as a friend,” said Chidi, while simultaneously also not letting go of the belief that it’s unethical for them to be friends

“These four humans are all I care about in the universe.” MICHAEL ❤️

NOT THE JUDGE BLAMING MICHAEL AND JANET FOR BREXIT AND THE GREATEST SHOWMAN LMAO

I was certain Simone wasn’t Australian but it turns out that she’s British which kind of tracks accent-wise

“Good luck, Frog Man. I’m pulling for you.” HAHAHAHAHA Jeff (Burt Hummel) is a perfect addition to Michael’s incredible group of friends

They also all have in common a disregard for authority

NOT JANET AND MICHAEL STALKING THEIR FRIENDS LMAO

“I’m sad to inform you I’m too stupid and ugly to be in the study and I’m going home to my mommy.” Michael’s schoolyard insults are something else

I do think Eleanor having to work an in-between job would help provide a sense of normal moral conditions for her. Morality does not exist in a vacuum of your closest homies, even if Janet and Michael want it to be so 

“If I’m going to the mall anyway, I might as well pick Jason up some jean shorts. The kind with the frayed edges, where you can see the pockets coming out of the bottom. So that he can study better.” Janet wanting to get her secret husband a Christmas present

Tahani hooking up with Larry Hemsworth who also has self-worth issues in relation to his more famous siblings hahahahha

“You and Jason, imagine that. Actually, I have.” Eleanor is truly attracted to ALL of her friends

“I gotta go barf one last time, and then I’ll be ready to study philosophy.” That sums up my university experience

I know it’s just one little split-screen but Eleanor singing happy birthday (which she said she hated doing for coworkers) while Jason reads a philosophy book on his own time...... I love them

“I can’t wait til we move far away from the likes of you, and I can finally take her last name.” I’m kind of rooting for Larry Al-Jamil

“Feeling like your little team is the last thing standing between you and oblivion, and that at any moment, the universe could fold up around you and squeeze the last breath from your dying lungs.” Michael’s pep talks have gotten a lot more morose since the Sports Bar

“Let’s all stay here, and keep it going,” said Eleanor, in a moment of emotional vulnerability that she is definitely going to regret immediately

Eleanor smashing a cake out of caring about other people too much vs. her first smashing a cake out of caring about her self-preservation too much is really a full circle moment:

“As humans evolved, the first big problem we had to overcome was ‘me vs. us.’ Learning to sacrifice a little individual freedom for the benefit of the group. You know, sharing food and resources so we don’t starve or get eaten by tigers, things like that. The next problem to overcome is ‘us vs. them.’ Trying to see other groups, different from ours, as our equals.” Ohhhhhh we’ve hit upon the moral underpinning of the season. Hello, our new Kierkegarde

“This is all we have, Janet. We have Chidi, and Eleanor, and Tahani and Jason and that is it.” Michael I think it’s time for you to make some new friends 

“Serious question? Should we kill them?” HAHAHAH MICHAEL. He said improvise adapt overcome baybeee

Once again the rules of the afterlife seem so unfair because they learned about it by accident and they’re just people who really love their friends

I love how absurd this show is. I 100% accept that time in the afterlife moves in a Jeremy Bearimy and that nothing never happens on Tuesdays and July

“Now that I know how it all ends, I just want to be virtuous for virtue’s sake.” Tahani takes down the concept of moral desserts in one single sentence:

Also her skin is literally sparkling, everyone in this show is SO pretty

Honestly shocked it’s taken this long for Chidi to quote Nietzsche 

Chidi said: I heard you were calling everyone hot, I would like to submit my name for consideration:

Also Chidi finally fulfilling the ‘surprisingly ripped’ prophecy with a full-length shot of himself shirtless LOL

“And then, a recommendation of how we feel the afterlife could be improved. And we turn ourselves in, we’ll give it to the judge. Hopefully she’ll read it. We failed, Janet. But maybe one day, someone else will succeed.” Michael having goals of improving the afterlife beyond his immediate circle of friends 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘 I LOVE ONE (1) DEMON

 The little nod to the young-person-older-person tech divide with Michael

“In America, everyone does what they want. Society did break down. It’s terrible, and it’s great!” HAHAHAHAH I know someone enjoyed writing that

Eleanor going on a whole adventure for this man’s wallet ❤️ That’s my girl

HAHAHHAA is the concept of getting into heaven the only thing between Chidi and knocking around mountains of junk food shirtless at a grocery store:

Chidi’s boisterous “Hello!” after the morose groceries got me 

The cut between Chidi giving up his car and not really seeing anymore purpose to anything he does in life and Tahani and Jason joyfully chucking money to people is this meme:

Also Jason offering money to the baby is PERFECT, I LOVE HIM

“I could’ve gone to a real doctor, instead of pretending I was a big dog, so I could go to the vet.” Will someone save the United States of America

If Canada ever privatizes healthcare, I will have to move or die

It’s actually the mark of a good bank that they won’t just let Tahani impulsively transfer all her money, prevents financial abuse

“You’re a good person, Eleanor. I really hope my daughter turns out like you when she grows up.” ELEANOR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

HAHAHAHHAAH CHIDI’S STUDENTS WATCHING HIM MAKE M&M-PEEPS-CHILLI

“The actual ethical system that you should all follow is nihilism.” The meme was foreshadowing. I don’t know why I didn’t expect it become explicit, he is a moral philosophy professor

CHIDI TRYING TO TAKE THE CHILLI WITH HIM LMAO:

NOT JASON AND TAHANI GETTING MARRIED. WHERE DOES BIGAMY FALL ON THE POINTS SCALE LMAO

Appreciate the immediate clarification it was platonic tho

I don’t blame Tahani for forgetting Larry Hemsworth because I also forgot Larry Hemsworth until he reappeared even though it was literally one episode ago they established their engagement kghkjghg 

All of them deciding to be better people for other people’s sake, including Janet and Michael, who are not people 💗 [CHIDI VOICE] SIMPLY PUT, WE ARE NOT IN THIS ALONE 

“Nathan Burlingame.” “Didn’t like you.” “Kylie Mansnard?” “Thought you were cool but intimidating.” “No way! I thought she was intimidating. That’s why I shoved her into that creek.” I love that we’re acknowledging Eleanor’s bisexuality outside of her friend group

Happy Pride Month to Eleanor, whose methods of showing affection are consistent

“I’ve done that to dozens of people, and all of them got over it.” “Actually, none of your exes have ever got over you.” “You’re damn right they didn’t.” Hee hee hee Eleanor 

“I’ve heard you mention your friend Pillboi many times, but I’ve not heard you mention your father once.” “What do you mean? I talk about Donkey Doug all the time.” WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! HONESTLY THIS HAS SHOCKED ME MOST IN THE SHOW SINCE THE REVEAL OF THE BAD PLACE

Jason’s Dad Donkey Doug 🤝 Eleanor’s Mum

Immediately hitting on their child’s partner when they meet

“That’s the first time that line has ever failed.” Jason touching his heart like he’s proud of her for not having sex with his dad LMAO:

“Do you spray it on yourself, or do you drink it?” “You both it.” Someone give Pillboi an MBA

“More guys should be bi. It’s 2018. It’s like, get over yourselves.” HAHAHAH Eleanor, defeating internalized biphobia, one guy at a time

Michael 🤝 Chidi

Fixing all of their problems with reset buttons

Unequivocally, someone dumping me while giving me a puppy would be the best way to break up and I would forgive them immediately. Chidi has cracked the code:

HAHAHAHAH ELEANOR USING HER TIME IN THE SIMULATION TO VIRTUALLY MAKE OUT WITH SIMONE 

“You hooked us up with [redacted] channels every year since the third grade.” MAYBE DONKEY DOUG SHOULD BE IN JAIL

“What a weird creep. Why was I friends with him?” HAHAHA Tahani finally name drops someone who she dislikes and it’s Elon Musk, perfect

[Talk-To-The-Hand Gesture] “Ya dumped.” KHGHGKHGKJ this is what happens when you spend so much time with Eleanor. Also how did we get from puppies to this

“Hey, call me Donkey Dad.” Awwww. I don’t think prison would make Donkey Doug better but he definitely made the right call in taking the blame for the factory robbery

“My feelings have changed. I wish I could tell you why, but I can’t.” This is both honest and also alludes to the fact that Chidi can and will have feelings for Eleanor

Michael’s little [“you okay”] smile to Janet when Jason calls Tahani his wife ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Tahani’s immediately hostile expression on learning that one of Eleanor’s parents is alive and made Eleanor mourn them or no reason:

Love this episode of Tahani and Eleanor confronting their family trauma head on

“Can we do this for all the paintings?” JANET-JASON BONDING TIME ❤️❤️❤️ THEY ARE THE SLOW-BURN ROMANCE AT THE HEART OF THIS SHOW

“Young lady, you will stop this nonsense, go to the PTA meeting and support your mother, I won’t hear another word about it.” AWWW MICHAEL TRYING OUT THE DAD VIBES

“All of your fears are mine now.” Lmao @ Kamilah sussing out the one thing that could disrupt Chidi’s pursuit of helping his friend

Michael The Eleanor’s Dad Friend and Torture Architect and Dave The Eleanor’s Stepdad and Regular Architect is sooooo cute. I love when Michael makes new friends

“Why can’t you accept that she might be living a good, honest life? That she’s an attentive partner and a good mom?” “Because I wanted that mom!” Wow this really is the sibling trauma ep 

 Michael referring to himself as Eleanor’s self-appointed father figure 😭❤️

 “They were wankers, weren’t they?” THIS IS SIBLING CULTURE!!!!

Hahahaha Michael’s little suspicious side comments about human things like going to the bathroom kill me 

Also the fact that they have human bodies on Earth but no digestion LMAO

“I’m glad my mom has changed, but that doesn’t fix all the damage that she did to me.” A healthy and honest way to look at it ❤️

“I have no real ability to gauge physical attractiveness in humans.” Michael said: Don’t ever ask me if you looked hot again, Eleanor, it’s icky and I hated that

I love the Mirror Centaur, it’s both a good bit of self-reflection for Tahani and an expansion of the lore

Eleanor and Chidi’s love story is cute but I am threatened by title of the ep (The Worst Possible Use of Free Will)

“There’s no such thing as soulmates, you dingus.” OMG MICHAEL

“It’s a basic reality show playbook. Put a bunch of attractive young people in stressful situations, so they act like idiots and have sex with each other.” ELEANOR EXPLAINING HER FEELINGS AWAY WITH DETERMINISM AND REALITY TV

However, she makes some pretty good points lmao 

I love seeing what they write on these Split-Second Prop Boards LOL:

“What if all YOUR choices are predetermined?” Eleanor said I see your 15-million-point-torture-plan, Michael and raise you one (1) frustrating woman who has studied a lot of philosophy and hates admitting to affection 

“Because if everything is determined and we have no free will, then all this stuff we’re doing to put more good into the world is pointless. And I want to believe that it matters.” MICHAEL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ WE LOVE ONE (1) DEMON WHO LITERALLY UNDERSTANDS THE MECHANICS OF THE UNIVERSE AND STILL CHOOSES TO HAVE HIS OWN BELIEFS

Omg hey Vicky aka Real Eleanor, long time no see

I have no idea who they’ve cast as the model of Humanity’s Potential for the Good Place in Rural Canada but I am hoping and placing my bet that it’s William Daniels (Mr. Feeny of Boy Meets World)

Update from 10 seconds later: IT’S NOT, IT’S DOUG FORCETT, THE GUY WHO GUESSED MOST OF THE AFTERLIFE

Ggkhgjhgkjh all these reflections on how people help each other to become better, and Janet and Michael choose Doug Pisswater, Friend to Snails, as their new Jesus

I love when Jason and Chidi hang out. It teaches Chidi to chill out!! The lessons go both ways

“When is the right time to tell someone you were passionate lovers in an alternate timeline in the afterlife, but he doesn’t remember because technically none of that happened in this strand of the multiverse?” I feel like this is a better question for Eleanor to ask Janet than Tahani

Hee hee hee, Jason and Chidi bonding is soooo cute:

OMG THIS HAS ESCALATED SO FAST, THE BAR OF DEMONS HAS ARRIVED

Still kills me that Bambadjan is playing Bambadjan

Also, HOW DOES DOUSING A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL IN ALCOHOL NOT ACT AS AN ACCELERANT 

“Screw this. Let’s fight.” YEAHHHHHHHH JANET, GET ‘EM

Honestly, for a show about morality, it has been surprisingly void of fight scenes until now

“Is it just me, or is Janet a straight-up hottie right now?” I gotta applaud Eleanor for her consistency

“I don’t want just any wasp nostrils, I want these wasp nostrils.” I guess Janet and Michael have inadvertently made their friends the most desirable people for the Bad Place because it’s been so hard to keep them in hell LOL

[Kicks Shawn through a portal] “I mean, why let the guy keep saying mean stuff?” Michael and Janet are an unbeatable duo

I love that they’re starting to actually interrogate the system itself:

Season 1: Something is wrong in the Good Place - we will learn about ethics to earn our place here

Season 2: We need to escape the Bad Place - we have learned enough to justify not being punished for moral failures we have made progress on

Season 3: We have escaped death, but now we need to decide what goodness in people actually means, and why we are even subscribing to this model to begin with

Incredibly impressed by D’Arcy Carden’s ability to embody each of the other four main characters. I wonder if they did this shot for shot with the other actors!!!

“So, literally the entire universe is against you.” Poor four humans, caught in the middle of an interdimensional ethical struggle

“If I’m right, we will find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system.” Call me crazy, but I think the underlying issue is the existence of a point system, and I hope there’s something beyond that scope that explains why the afterlife is so fucked up

“We’re in a void, in the body of a white lady--” “Not a lady.” I also love this consistency and Janet’s she-her-and-Not-a-Lady energy

“Let’s all say white people things. ‘Billy Joel.’ ‘I found it on Etsy.’ ‘There was nowhere to park.’ ‘Did you refill the Brita?’” HAHAHAHHAHAHA I also love that 3/4 of the people Janet is embodying are not white. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I died and woke up white. I don’t think I’d do well as a white person

ELEANOR USING THE VOID TO SUMMON A PUPPY FOR CHIDI. I LOVE HOW MANY DOGS CHIDI GETS TO PLAY WITH THIS SEASON, IT’S SO MANY MORE DOGS THAN ANY PREVIOUS SEASON

“Richard Moore of Sugar Land, Texas, hollowed out an eggplant and filled it with hot sauce and nickels.” I don’t know why this is so funny, but it is

Eleanor 🤝 Chidi 

Using philosophy lessons to explain away your feelings

“Just because you don’t remember doing something, doesn’t mean you didn’t do it. I have no idea how it happened, but there is definitely a tattoo on my butt that says, ‘Jasom.’” Jason’s philosophical commentary is both practical and true 

Michael is so mad for humanity not being allowed into the Good Place ❤️‍🩹

I’m now leaning towards the idea that there ISN’T a Good Place. Why haven’t we met anyone from there, expect that one person in that Mindy St. Clair video LOL

“I was just chillin’ being nothing, and then all of a sudden, I was.” Hahahah, Void Pillboi thinks, therefore he is 

“When was the last time someone got into the Good Place?” “The last time someone got into the Good Place was... 521 years ago.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The real question is how Jason-Janet and Eleanor-Janet managed to switch clothing without Chidi-Janet noticing LOL they’re all in one void

[In falsetto] “I’m Chidi, I’m Eleanor, I’m Arizona shrimp horny.” Every line on this show, but especially Jason’s, deserves an Emmy

I just looked it up and this show didn’t receive a SINGLE Emmy? Whack

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WE ARE FINALLY GETTING JASON TO KNOW THAT HE AND JANET WERE MARRIED AGAIN (this is also how I feel when I look at Jason:

“If he’s not gonna to fix this, who is?” “You, Michael.” DEMON FRIEND GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Chidi monologuing everything he knows about Eleanor to save her identity because who she is matters so much to him 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT A SIMULTANEOUS JANET/JANET, ELEANOR/JANET, CHIDI/JANET KISS. INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I need one of you to volunteer to do something outrageously insane that will either make you cease to exist or be really fun.” JASON JASON JASON

HAHAHAHAHAH the immediate follow-up in them realizing it didn’t actually give them any information by having Jason go up the mail tube first

“Holy forking shirtballs. We’re in the Good Place.” WOO, GO TEAM COCKROACH

“What kind of a messed-up place would turn away refugees.” SO many, Jason 

HAHAHAHAH Jason adding insane and bizarre details to their lies, but to be fair in a Good-Place-Accounting-Bad-Place trichotomy I guess it is somewhat believable to be chased by a Dracula with a bazooka

Awwwww now Chidi is comforting Eleanor about her Good Place crisis! You know what that is! Growth

I love Gwendolyn the Good Place Mailwoman With No Follow-Up Questions

“I feel bad that I sort of like, read her diary, and she doesn’t know.” Jason has his own moral code and it incudes minding ya business ❤️

“Why not have our first date four Oreos away from paradise?” Chidi DOES have a romantic bone in his non-corporeal body

“Every single Bad Place employee is a disgusting monster.” Awww, poor Michael

“Are all humans as attractive as you two [Tahani and Jason]?” [Chuckles] “No.” TRUE LMAO HOTTEST FRIENDS

CHIDI DRESSING UP A SEXY MAILMAN FOR THEIR FIRST DATE. BEST BOYFRIEND

How is letting people be tortured for hundreds of years a morally neutral action? I just don’t believe that this version of the Good Place exists

TAHANI MAKING AN DEATH DID US PART CERTIFICATE SO JANET AND JASON DON’T FEEL BURDENED BY THE TAHANI-JASON MARRIAGE. I LOVE THESE FRIENDS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“’There is only one time that is important, now. It is the only time when we have any power.’“ I love Chidi’s philosophy comments that are driven out of love from the people around him. I know he’s quoting Tolstoy but still

“You gotta try.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ELEANOR SHELLSTROP, PHILOSOPHER

Eleanor using this as an immediate segue into sex HAHAHAHA

“There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions. Feels like a game you can’t win.” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING

TAHANI AND JANET CRYING BECAUSE THEY LOVE THEIR FRIENDS SO MUCH AND JASON CRYING BECAUSE HE LIKES TO BE PART OF THINGS:

“Any chance I can change real quick?” “No.” TIME TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE AS A SEXY MAILMAN, CHIDI

“Do you wanna try being boyfriend-girlfriend?” “I’m not a girl. But yes, I’d very much like to go on a date with you, somewhere, sometime.” JASONJANET IS BACK BAYBEEEEEEEEE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

“I never yelled at Big Noodle for being late again, because I knew hard it was for him to be there.” I LOVE philosophy lessons with Jason

Michael keeps saying if people don’t agree with him, they can kill him and his homies, as if he has not, at every turn, gotten his friends out of harm’s way every single time someone has wanted to get rid of them, and literally in the same episode said he would throw them into the next dimensional portal to keep trying. Michael said: My moral code is Janet’s ride-or-die protocol

“Also, I guess I’m Black, and they do not like Black ladies down there.” HOW CAN THE ALL-KNOWING JUDGE OF THE UNIVERSE NOT KNOW ABOUT RACISM AND MISOGYNOIR???

“Oh no, you are nobody’s problem, sweetheart.” Finally someone other than Eleanor appreciating Chidi for his looks hahahahah

Jason and Janet are so excellent at communicating their feelings. ALSO I LOVE JEALOUS JASON, RECIPROCITY:

It has not been lost on me this whole time that Janet and Jason, and Chidi and Eleanor, have had to fall in love at least three separate times over three separate universes over three separate seasons. I can’t wait for them to get some time to actually BE in love, together, continuously

Also I hope Tahani finds someone she loves (though gunning for it not to be a white man though LOL)

NOT ELEANOR REQUESTING TO LIVE IN THE TORTURE CLOWN HOUSE ❤️ I ALSO KINDA MISSED IT

OMG NO THAT’S SO SAD, THEY’RE GONNA MAKE THE FOUR HUMANS EXPERIENCE ACTUAL TORTURE (NOT JUST EMOTIONAL TURMOIL) FROM THEIR BEST DEMON BUDDY’S FACE

“It’s going to be so amazing watching your four BFFs look so sad and betrayed and confused, as you, their reformed demon daddy, unleash a swarm of... penis-bees.” EVEN SADDER, THEIR REFORMED DEMON DADDY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL!!!!!!!

Michael experiencing his first panic attack in the very first step of the experiment lmao

HAHAHAHAHAHAH Eleanor immediately jumping in as architect. There were so many better ways to handle this. Just have Janet knock him out again 

“You’re like the Blake Bortles of whatever’s going on right now.” These is a very good compliment from Jason, he holds Eleanor in high esteem

ALSO JASON BEING BACK IN HIS JIANYU OUTFITS HA

NOT JOHN BEING THE PEREZ HILTON OF THE GOOD PLACE

I like that Simone’s back, and I hope she ends up as Tahani’s lover this time around, that’d be fun and a nice way to wrap up the couples

Chidi requesting for a mind-wipe to avoid his ex so he has to fall in love with Eleanor a fourth (FOUR HUNDREDTH) TIME OH MY GOD 

“This is a classic human situation. Your friends are going through something awful, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Harsh but true

“Every time you see me get a stomach-ache, imagine I’m thinking of you.” “So, all the time.” 😭😭😭😭😭

Of this whole romantic montage of all of Eleanor and Chidi’s memories, it’s them on the boat together that got me. Eleanor being part of Chidi’s idea of a perfect day. Something something existing in each other’s comfort zone

I did not expect for anything to make me tear up but Chidi’s voice breaking as he said he was going to miss Eleanor got me

“Time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We’ll get through this, and then you and I will chill out in the dot in the i forever.” Chidi is SO romantic now. That’s growth!!!!!!!!!!

Eleanor and Janet have truly been on the same romantic page this whole time. They have parallel journeys of love and loss

“In the words of the man that I love: I got you dog.” JANET 😭❤️ 

I really do love this show so much 

[cielettosa]

Levi's monologue when he was beating the shit out of eren

I can't believe it. I mean, really, can you? It's like a twisted, messed-up joke that humanity's last hope is pinned on a group of bumbling, power-hungry, so-called leaders. These guys couldn't even lead a donkey to water without getting lost in the desert...

And don't get me started on the Yeager brat. Ugly as a Titan's backside, but they want to barbecue him like he's the main course at a Titan buffet. The poor brat is scared out of his mind, stuttering like a broken record, begging for his life every few seconds. Newsflash, brat: nobody understands you when you're gagged. It's like trying to have a deep philosophical debate with a brick wall.

Nile Dok, the shining beacon of all that is pig-headed and self-important. Head of the Military Police, they call him. But from where I'm standing, he's the grand poobah of all things nonsensical. And let's not forget Nick, the Minister Shitface, holding the prestigious title of vice-judge. It's like a match made in heaven – two peas in a pod of bureaucratic incompetence.

Erwin, on the other hand, well, he's got his own history with Dok. Something about stealing Erwin's girl, Marie, way back when. The details aren't clear, but you can bet your boots that it's a festering wound that still stings. You see, Eyebrows may look as calm as a tranquil lake, but beneath that serene exterior, there's a storm brewing.

Minister Nick and his never-ending religious sermons. He's all about that Walls mumbo-jumbo, but honestly, I've got more important things to do, like keeping your sorry butts alive in this Titan-infested world. If I did give a damn about religion, I'd want a better spokesperson than this guy. I mean, really, it's like having a dung beetle as your life coach. Nick's "inspirational" speeches would put even the most dedicated insomniac to sleep. But hey, maybe that's the secret to his survival – bore the Titans to tears. While he's preaching about the great beyond, I'm out here in the real world, making sure you have a future to even worry about.

If there's a heaven, hell, or purgatory, I hope they've got better entertainment than this holy bore. Dok's playing puppet master to Zackly, and it's a damn puppet show I'm not willing to watch any longer. The clock's ticking, and I can't let this charade continue. The jury needs a reality check before Dok's nonsense becomes law.

Erwin, my partner in crime, gives me that unspoken signal, and it's like we share the same damn brain. Twins, they call us, and they might be right. But let's get one thing straight – I got the looks, and I've got the, well, length, if you catch my drift.

It's time to step up, cut through the crap, and bring some order to this chaotic world. Because if there's one thing we don't need, it's more clowns in this circus of despair. It's time for the Survey Corps to do what we do best – kick some Titan ass and take names.

It's a damn shame that I have to resort to beating the living daylights out of Eren Yeager to make a point. But let me tell you, it's like a twisted kind of therapy for me. The kid's got a hair-trigger temper, and it doesn't take much to set him off. I mean, everything makes him lose his marbles.

You'd think we were living in a world where Titans are the least of our worries, with the way Eren goes ballistic over the smallest things. It's like he's got a personal grudge against serenity. But hey, if my fists can knock some sense into him, then I'll gladly be the bad guy. In this world, losing your cool can get you killed, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep this circus from turning into a bloody tragedy.

Mikasa, the black-haired girl, can't seem to stop gushing over "Ereh!" like she's some kind of Titan-slaying goddess. The way she clings to that Titan-spitface is almost comical. Kid's got herself a full-blown crush on Mr. Yeager.

And sure, I've heard it before, that Mikasa Ackerman looks a bit like me, despite us having zero ties. But let's get one thing straight – I'd rather be related to a sack of potatoes than be associated with a brat who's obsessed with Eren.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, but between her and me, I'm the hotter one in this messed-up circus. Beauty might not save the world, but it sure beats being infatuated with a Titan-transforming teenager.

It's not the stench of their porky existence that gets to me, although that's a close second. No, it's the fear that I feed on, thrive on, and let me tell you, it's a feast.

Dok and Minister Nick are probably soaking their pants, and also shitting right about now, knowing that in my mind's eye, I'm picturing them in Yeager's shoes. There's something satisfying about watching them squirm, knowing that their day of judgment might be just around the corner. It's like a sweet symphony, and I'm the conductor, orchestrating their fear, one crescendo at a time. This world is a savage playground, and I'm the merciless player.

Wait shit, was that a spit and blood covered tooth? Holy hell, it doesn't matter. I need to pull back. Just one more kick.

Okay, maybe one more for good measure. Can't leave things unfinished, right?

And one last one, just to make sure things are nice and tidy. It's not often I get to let loose like this, so might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Another kick for the sake of, well, cleanliness.

TLDR: Shipping between Levi and Eren won't be tolerated, it's disgusting.

[selfox]

The ark of Ungrateful from Random Tales of Drakgo by @gothicthundra

I thought that I laughed hard before, but for now, this takes the cake

(1)

Of course, Shego, you wanted to annoy him. Totally. Not even once you wanted to actually see his fam. Ma'am, you are going for the big guns Estelle, I love you. Idk why, but this simple detail of *him* grabbing *their* bags is so... Heartwarming 🤣🤣🤣 spoke too soon. I loved that switcheroo. ....... I believe me and Drew have similar room vibes omg 🤣🤣 Shego, so much for fighting the biiiiig dokidokis SHEGO Hello, Estelle ~ you two are buste~~~~d Mother knows best~ (Tangle au intensifies) I'm grinning so much while reading this. Yes, Shego, she did imply Oof, oof. Elderly cranky grandmas, oof. Oh boy, Estelle and Michelle... Shiiiiiit, yep it is your funeral Oof, that lady is straight forward. Oof. Drew, your family is something. That feeling that what I've been saying is applies here - he is the most “normal” in his family ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 🤣🤣🤣🤣 SHEGO OMG YOU TWO ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE DORKS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KISS HER I WILL BE PULLING SEBASTIAN Sha la la la la la, don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl SERIOUSLY MY DUDES OYL GRRRRRRR

Second reread:

(by the way - GORGEOUS ART)

Fixing his collar ; 0; how come you guys have such a great level of physical intimacy? Drew, your mom knows that Shego is so much better at keeping your appointments.

He is a dork and I love him so much.

I still adore that switcheroo, but still him being ready and unprompted to take their bags out 👌to be fair, rewatching the show as an adult, I've started to notice specific details like him holding a door to her.... heh, using Shego's words "That's so sweet"

Grand return of Shego the cat. She is being so Shego xD

I applaud to Estelle.

Once again, I am left with a strong desire to see baby pictures of Drew and Eddie. These 2 sound so adorable.

Once again, my heart bleeds for Drew at his interaction with his nana. I don't know why it hits so hard, as I've never experienced this from my own grandmas, luckily.

The war of Elles. F Shego.

... I think, I too need a drink of my own too. Hell.

Drak, she still loves you.

The night gown~

JUST TALK YOU TWO ABSOLUTE DONKEYS! EVOLUTION GAVE YOU MOUTHS AND ABILITY TO SPEAK, SO SPEAK YOUR FEELINGS LIKE ADULTS THAT YOU AREN'T. ┻━┻ ︵ ＼( °□° )／ ︵ ┻━┻

To be honest, if they actually shared this bed and something would have happened, I doubt that they would still realize that they like/love one another

I love those two and their banter, especially Shego's jabs about his virgin bed, but I still have the urge to shake them to get some sense into their heads. Probably wouldn't work either.

MA'AM 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Though to be fair, she uses HEAVY hinting guns.

No, don't get up, just *moves their heads closer* c'mon grrr

I will be singing again

OTL

(2)

OUGH OTL girl, he was expecting the plasma blast You guys are awful at communicating OTL Shego if he had heard you... OTL Morning shenanigans hdhdhd Oh, the horrors! Hello Ed! Cannot believe I say it, but I'm with Ed Well, that's one way of being in a closet🤣 Oh, Nana ＞︿＜ Ooh, hi Misty. Hello namesake 🤣🤣🤣omg BABIES, I WANNA SEE THAT PICTURE Kitchen. Gosh golly, the tension between them will soon make sparks fly *noise that definitely wasn't made by human* ACTION

Second reread:

once again - gorgeous art!

I guess it's how realistic it is... this whole miscommunication of two people who are very awful at feelings... you guys need therapy among other plethora of issues you have

SHEGO, YOU ARE MISREADING YOUR SIGNALS COMPLETELY

*puts my head in my hands* they are hopeless.

"Motor Ed... was in the bathroom... I can't unsee... what I saw." heh.... considering what me, Flower and Ker drew *sips* I wouldn't say it's that bad. Yes, it was a shameless plug.

Agree, Shego, he is very much a dork. No. Dork, capital D

What happens in Vegas.... not always stay in Vegas.

DRAK NO

I NEED THOSE BABY PICTURES (ended up drawing baby Ed and Drew myself lol)

"Our family doesn't know we're villains. " *are you sure about that gif*

Ouch oof, OTL such a bittersweet moment right in the kokoro

I am withholding my 1 specific reaction to this until part 4 cus I first had this grand realization there and I am mad that I only got that during that time and not effing earlier.

I don't even care that I spilled the beans over my name. Different spelling.

This family is something else entirely, and I love them for it.

Good lord F, Dr D. Getting shivers all over, I dislike liver.

The sheer amount of fluffy flutters I have in my system, it's hard to contain. Surprised that I'm not coughing up butterflies. I want to squeeze those two so much.

.........

.......

......

*face plant on my book and desk*

and here all flutters are gone, and all is left is desire to SHAKE THEM

Hi Kim.

(3)

OMFG F EDDY Welp, there is the tape I'm laughing so hard I even get light headed RON NO OMFG CHAOS CHAOS PURE CHAOS 🤣🤣🤣🤣 IM DYING That feeling that it's true. Great grandkid. Yep. Now I know where Drakken got it LMFAO THIS WHOLE FAMILY IS A GEM!! I love them, I need more Dr D, admit if it wasn't you, you would laugh just as much CALLED THAT LINE

Drak, at this point, they are a part of your family........... even if there was absolutely nothing regarding the donor thing. They always will be there at your family gathering. Just accept it.

I guess your voice had the BOOm in it.

Yes, I'm still losing it in laughter. "Your wife's a stripper?"

Grand return of the tape🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DO NOT KIM

Hashtag teamwork

Ah I see, Lois/Beatrice (lol Tris), Michelle/Estelle..... Edward/Dreward 🤣🤣🤣🤣

F Drew.

The secret spy agency drakgo and co khsfdblvj ssad and co

"Zip it, Pumpkin" - got it from dr d

And I got a whiplash... WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SPEAK? AND WITH THERAPIST AS A MEDIATOR??? SOMEONE CALL DUFF!

I am barely holding myself from screenshotting the whole scene. From very implying Kim(she is our girl, one of the first drakgo shippers dfkjh) to Drakken being ready to obliterate Ron.

BABIESSSSS Ronald, be wary of what you desire.

heheheheheheheheheheheh

Once again, now I know where Drakken got his dramatics from 🤣🤣🤣

Drew, admit, you would laugh just as much if it wasn't you. Imagine if it was Dementor in this situation.

Careful with your wishes~

He is the sanest

(4)

AWWWW BABOON ????!!! GT THIS IS GENIUS Yep, he is the sanest one I love this fam Yes, Shego, you are his date .... WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE IS THAT LYDS AND Betty??? AS IN BETTY JUICE??? THE BEETLEJUICE??? BEEJ??? OMFG EVEN IF IT ISN'T OMFG THANK YOU FOR MENTAL IMAGE MY FRIEND IS GOING TO YELL (upd: he DID yell) I pretty much died till ... Holy hell, this is some drama, oh so drama lol dhcnf This fam. I love this fam.

*cracks fingers* I will tackle this. i will come victorious!! I've made a mistake of taking the break in the middle and then got swarmed with work. I WILL NOT BE SWAYED!

Shego, be careful with your desire to see the chaos. It can double.

Shego is getting butterflies in her stomach, precious~ Girl, wait till he knows how it affects you.

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) Off-base as you are more of his wife~ yes i am taking back my first reaction's statement.

AND YES IT TOOK ME WAY TOO FUCKING LONG TO GET ITS LYDS AND BEEJ. Well... Betty. I am severely disappointed in myself.

OTL poor baby Drew. EDDIE WHT THE HELL ILL SPORK YOU

Steph... Steph... keep your mitts offa Rufus.

I love this family. They definitely feel like cousins. ALSO IT WAS IN HERE I FINALLY GOT IT.

This is "stop saying everyone I am dead" but in reverse with Stew.

Which is true, Eddie, he is his son dun dun DUUUNN

F Betty. Cousins for the win.

"Well we can't all be aspiring villains, can we"... Estelle. I think she knows. She must know. At least about Leviathan... maybe? Unless this helped her escape??

Jesus Christ, chill people, chill.

I applaude to Kim and Ron for helping them. I am so ready to smooch both of them. Holy hell, even if i already read this part before, I AM STILL ON THE EDGE WITH TENSION

CHAOSSSSS

FAMILY ACTIVITY - SEARCH FOR A DEADLY DEVICE THAT CAN POISON AIR!

I love this family.

DREW YOPU ARE OVERTHINKING THE OVERTHINKING STOP PLEASE I BEG ALL OF YOU NEED A THERAPY AND LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY

Same.

OTL ouch... Eric... ough oof...

ouch nice save with fudge

... Yeah thats Lydia, alright.

You two are a bunch of overthinkers. I need a drink.

That's so precious how Shego doesn't even realise the fact that she considers them her family that, of course, visits for Christmas. And she is planning on doing that in the future and potentially many, many, many years into the future.

iwannaseeeeeeepiiicturesonthewalllandseeebaaaabiesss!!! Especially Dr. Drake too.

AAAAAWWWWWWWWWW THE PICTURE I KNOW AAAAWWWWW

OH HELL YEAH MORE ABOUT THE COMPANY

Wwait .... is Sweets too .... relative of someone over there in The Company??? How else did she get... unless some research.... huh... ah got it. Old lairs.

Hi, Drakken, join us in the attic.

Welp... the brawl of cousins.

yep, knew it. Shego almost married Drakken.

Ouch, Drew.

IS MICHAEL A GHOST???

I love this family, guys.

EDDIE

Those 4 are just one family unit.

F Shego that was PERFECT, Drakken, you are a gonner!

I DID IT, PARTY PEOPLE! The Ungrateful Ark is finished and I can read further!

That was a delightful experience! I love this chaotic, crazy family. Can't wait to see more if there is any XD

All I can say is thank you! :3 time to read more hehe

[miracles-and-butterflies]

Luisa: Yeah, so let’s just review the most important things we’ve learned from today’s family dinner.

Luisa: One, Camilo should never be allowed to shapeshift into any of us again; two, Isabela should never be allowed to grow carnivorous plants as a party trick; three, we need to stop inviting Mariano around for dinner because it goes wrong every time; four, Dolores cannot be trusted to keep her mouth shut; five, Mirabel is emotionally traumatised and extremely claustrophobic from almost dying in Casita, and shouldn’t be allowed to keep her subsequent nightmares to herself in the nursery; six, I have only just worked number five out and absolutely hate myself for every hug I have given her since. Yay!

Dolores: You should really see someone about that.

Luisa: I’ll deal with it in therapy.

Isabela: Therapy is not overworking yourself until you stop feeling, Luisa.

Luisa, holding back tears: I’m sorry, are you a trained psychologist, Isa? Are you someone who knows what is best for me? No? I am. And I will prescribe the treatment method I believe will work best, as such I require to get the hell out of here and start gathering all the donkeys right now! Okay?! Goodbye! *storms out*

Isabela:

Camilo:

Dolores:

Mariano:

Camilo: Well, that was a fun dinner party. Should we do this same time next week?

[macksting]

I'm gonna try to find other places my favorite people here are, that are not X or Tumblr. I'm gonna try to retain my contacts here. But I'm leaving again. I don't feel a need to get myself banned to make some point, and it looks like that's easy to do for now. He wants us off this site? Fine, I'll go. There's better places to be anyway.

But before I go.

I apologize in advance to any Christians who feel unfairly hurt by what I'm about to say, but: I don't hate Christianity, but I hate being unable to escape it anywhere I go. In the same way that a Christian atheist may still have a rabid hatred of Muslims, I find Christian and ex-Christian trans women still want our suffering to be holy, to be martyrs. Mostly they don't go running into the mouth of hell to suffer, if nothing else because that'd hurt and most of them aren't that devoted to this mindset; and some of us fly too close to the sun not out of masochistic death cultism but out of just being at heart a bunch of pains in the ass, so I ain't talking about that either. I'm talking about needing to be seen as suffering, as more suffering than others, as a kind of social oneupsmanship. And it's not better to do so in some kind of communion or solidarity or whatever, it's still ridiculous no matter how you do it.

We should be learning about the means of each other's oppressions, to better understand our own, not turning it into a fucking pissing contest.

And I cannot escape these mindsets. I see these baffling crab-bucket behaviors in these shitty online spaces that I almost never see in real life, with real world groups and people, because... iunno, maybe because I live in the PNW and a lot of folks didn't grow up being told that suffering is the highest form of virtue and therefore that if you are not suffering enough then you are not virtuous enough, and since real suffering sucks, it's best to just make people accept that the level of suffering you're going through, which is bad, is superior and unique and untouchably awful.

My friend Michael says it's also kind of a white thing. By creating a hierarchy of who is most oppressed and placing yourself on top, you can make yourself feel immune to criticism, and apparently this is just something a lot of white folks feel they need. Myself, iunno, I'm white too, I hope I don't do that, but I suspect my particular brand of OCD means my anxieties in that regard can't be alleviated without significant therapy and medication, which is not better but it does seem to make me a little less likely to try to put myself on top of hierarchies out of sheer terror of myself.

I seriously cannot escape this shit. I dunno how much I've got to go dismantling my own bullshit, but at least I wasn't raised Christian. It must be so exhausting. If you see me posting something positive that's happening, believe me, it's not intended as toxic positivity. It's intended as a radical statement that a better world is possible. It's radically asserting that life is not pain, and that our pain has causes that can be dealt with. And I dearly do hope it pisses someone off to see someone living their best life in spite of the horrors. A car outside our homeless shelter says, "Birds sing after the storm, so shall we," along with countless Christian statements scrawled all over it, and I am not waiting for some storm to pass. It won't pass in my lifetime. I'm singing now. And some of those songs are happy, and some of those songs are angry, and some are both.

If all you want is the aesthetics of suffering or the aesthetics of social justice, fuck off. I don't need more Christendom. I'm trapped in this place, and I am so fucking tired of it. I feel like Shrek yelling at Donkey, "can you please stop being yourself for five minutes!"

[sapphyreopal5]

Sapphyreopal5 Index 5

This Index page is dedicated to my anti Gen and anti Jarevieve posts. I'm anti Genevieve for multiple reasons, which has nothing to do with jealousy or some other silly emotional reason like this.

She is extremely inconsistent in what she stands for. Are you an environmentally friendly homestead mom, wife and actress (definitely is one but not as much on TV anymore), or are you an influencer who encourages people to buy "environmentally friendly" brands to line your pocket?

I am 100% certain she's into witchcraft and has conjured for Jared and to have his children from the beginning, please see the posts I've linked to of mine below explaining why this is. I don't think witchcraft is evil so to speak but if you ask me, when you start conjuring to gain a specific person as your spouse, that's black magic territory.

There's no way I can take her seriously as a so called influencer. She tries to make herself out to be quite relatable as a busy mom... but in multiple ads and posts you can see a nanny showing up. Don't sit there and tell me Gen does all that laundry herself or cleans that giant house herself, because I can guarantee you she barely lifts a finger to keep that house clean.

I also can't take her seriously as an influencer because she has no sense of brand loyalty. She makes her ads making you all believe she actually uses these products on the regular. All you gotta do is go look on her Instagram and go look at her Wellness and Beauty Instastories she archived on her page. You will see the lack of brand loyalty she has. Sorry honey, you can't convince me you use any of those products on the regular. You rotate what ones you do and don't use on the regular. Show me some brand loyalty and prove you look great without filters, then I'll be more convinced the products you use actually work.

I think she overshares things with her kids. I don't care about an occasional school first day picture or whatever. I do care when kids get involved/exploited for any influencer's ads or shares photos/videos when they are at a low moment or feeling vulnerable. I have a lot less respect for most of these mommy blogger types who have nothing else to talk about (and spend most of their day on social media). Don't make being a mom your entire personality for God's sake, have other interests besides your children!

She comes across as fake nice to me. I don't believe she cares for Jared at all based on analyzing body language between them in panels, interviews, etc. (especially clear on her part). Listen, I wish I could believe they're happy. I wish I could believe everyone was happily married, I REALLY DO! But, I don't for good reasons.

I will say this. If you don't like my stuff or even me, that's totally cool! We can't all like each other or even agree with each other. I do ask if you are going to debate my stuff, stick to the point. No need to be an asshole and turn mean about it. I've been blocked by some people for calling them out and I'm fine with this. I don't really attack people, I attack their arguments. Have fun reading!

Anti Jarevieve

She likes to be married for the perks, that's it guys!

And it's for their status

Warning Gen & Jared Tarot Reading

Jared Gen Questions (Warning Tarot Reading Pt 2)

Apple Podcast Bathroom Chronicles- Thoughts

No longer soulmates

I've Never Said This Before Tommy DiDario Podcast Episode 48

Jared thinks he doesn't deserve real love?

Is it parenting great though?

Wolves, 3, 4, 11, Walker and The Prophecy

2024 Belgium Trip and Witchcraft: 2015 History Repeating Itself?

Did Gen possibly tell the press over 9 years ago Jared went to the clinic?

Body Language Guys

Pulling away kisses/misses

Who gives the donkeys all this extra attention?

"In this moment, my daughter, Jared's girlfriend, is hugging his wife", Arlo the therapy dog steps in as Jared is clearly uncomfortable after overbearing, creepy mom's comment

What do we have here???

Sandy and Gen My Ride or Die: Copycat?

Nanny speaks out

* fake or "fake" because you don't like it?

Italy 2024 "Family Fun Vacation"- Stuck or What?

Jared in Geneva while Gen in Venice

Met up a day earlier than I expected

Hooters 2021 LOL

Anti Genevieve

Atlanta Comic Con Panel Reading Answer Criticism

Dave Hollis Episode 119 Podcast

Gen profits off of Jared's face (but we already knew that!)

Gen "wants to represent the family well" but "we take on different kids on different schedules"

Just can't with the crunchy mommy blogs exploiting their children

Gen oversharing Shep and Jared moment

was Shep upset here?

Can't handle sister's crisis, so makes pregnancy status her crisis

Does Gen read the blogs (including mine, oh my!)?

Sure seems like she's reading them

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire (Inconsistencies!)

July photoshoot at the ranch ('cause your hair ain't long anymore sweetie)

TOWWN post 9/14/2024 "Don't Buy Shit You Don't Need" No. 4 (Skincare haul, 'cause Gen likes to have a 7 step skincare routine)

But are you actually grain free?

Cancelled Dragon Con 2024

Is she sick?

Working out hard less than a week after announced being sick

No clue how to resolve allergy face my ass! Zyrtec allergy ad from 2018

Mono vs Flu

Gen into witchcraft?

Astrology Chart Partial Analysis (Black Magic)

Nice try, this No Nom ad was shot weeks ago 'cause your hair was just done sweetheart, remember?

Sexual libido supplement showing up yet again (want me to redo your astrology chart Gen?)

Black Magic Confirmed

Seems time is coming up

Fowl Play?

Please do a video on her and Dee doing black magic?

Apophis Asteroid: 4/13/2029 Payment Due Date for Black Magic?

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Why I don't like HER doing witchcraft

[madiwadikinz]

SKINCARE MASTERLIST

HITS

drugstore

la roche posay

micellar water

neutrogena face wipes (should NOT be your only cleanser)

cetaphil

cerave

ELF (BUT ONLY the lip balms/scrubs/masks)

aveeno (iffy, but she’s cute)

byoma is OKAY, but packaging gives childish/overcompensating

a gua sha is key

affordable

inkey

the ordinary

french pharmacy

RHODE by hailey bieber

saltair lip balm

TULA (really only things i have used myself were the lil stick balms for ur face,,, they were GREAT)

SNAIL MUCIN!!!! (don’t knock it b4 u try it!!!)

OMG KOSAS!!!!! YES

DRMTLGY

peach & lily

luxury

drunken elephant

elemis

fenty beauty

r.e.m. beauty (most of the makeup is genuinely garbage cuz miss grande is on meth & dating spongebob BUT her skin card does NOT decline REGARDLESS 💜)

LANIEGE LIP PRODUCTS ARE GOD

summer fridays lip balm 🤪

ILIA IS INCREDIBLE

RED LIGHT THERAPY MASK!!!! when i say this, i mean the mask that covers all of ur face bc red light therapy is ineffective unless it is on your face for a prolonged period of time

MISSES

drugstore

ANY MICROBEAD OR WALNUT SCRUBS/FACE WASHES DO NOT BE DOING THAT

neutrogena face cleanser (YUCK)

honestly anything neutrogena besides the damn makeup wipes

OLAY more like oNAUR

No7!!! (number 7) too expensive to be in the drug store & too inneffective for pricepoint

PACIFICA OMG NOOOO

PIXI!!!! this brand surfaced when i was in MIDDLE SCHOOL & i was obsessed… notice how i said middle school bc it actually sucks donkey ASS

affordable

medicube: gimmicky; anyone u’ve ever seen speak positive words is getting paid by tiktok shop creator fund 🤪

pretty much any television commercial advertised acne brand… they will fuk ur shit up frrrrrrr

PROACTIV cuz NAURRR

OMG YALL IM SO SERIOUS DO NOTTTTT BUY MARIO BADESCU

truly beauty 🫣😣

tower 28 👎👎👎

luxury

la mer: WAYYYY TOO EXPENSIVE

glow recipe: gimmicky; for children

glamglow: fell off GOD KNOWS how long ago but history repeats itself

farmacy (specifically the halo cream that the tiktok shop creator tab is paying people to promote on a commission basis)

murad (was relevant too long ago & rightfully fell off)

OGEE: ‘skincare makeup’ fluke ahhh brand; if u like feeling like a tube of grease that is also solid is ur makeup be my guest (NOTE: some ogee products aren’t terrible but overall not worth pricepoint considering their makeup SUCKS)

kylie skin: ur telling me a billionaire made a walnut scrub… i’m sick

call me controversial,,, but the SUNDAY RILEY alien ceo oil or whatever u wanna call it smelled so fucking bad that i could hardly apply it

CLINIQUEEEEE nope

estee lauder 🫣🫣🫣

controversial, but MEDICUBE DEVICE IS A NO

[mordenheim]

“The Good We Do Is Magnified”

The following flash fic is tied into my own "Travels in Equestria" series, however this is specifically meant to be a birthday gift for @ask-de-writer, a friend who has inspired me to keep reading and writing for several years now. Thank you, old friend.

It had been almost a decade since the tall, slender zebra had wandered, filthy and starving out of the Everfree. Some ponies had been welcoming of the skinny creature, even pitied him a bit at first. Others saw him as a target for ridicule and distrust. He had been accused of witchcraft, demon summoning, even cannibalism at one point.

When he decided to set up a clinic at the edge of the woods, just outside of town it caused quite a stir. First the Ponyville Medical Society tried to get it shut down, even trying to drag Princess Luna into the mess. That backfired for them horribly. Some ponies tried to scam money from him and religious zealots picketed his clinic. All the while he merely spent his time helping who he was able to and doing his research in private.

Eventually, he ran afoul of a group of zebra supremacists who demanded that he leave the clinic and share his research with only them. He refused and later that night they returned and burned his clinic to the ground.

Hours later, his battered and broken body was found in the bushes near the still burning clinic by an older blue unicorn pony with a white mane and beard. Having watched what the zebra had done from afar, he teleported him far away.

When he finally awoke, Victor was in a bed he didn't recognize in a place he did not know. The old pony introduced himself as De Writer and told him that he had been watching the doctor for a while now.

Over the next month, they talked and got to know one another as the zebra healed from his wounds. He was left with a few more scars to go with his missing eye and the scars on his neck and chest but otherwise seemed even stronger than he had been before. When asked about his healing, he told the tale of his travels from a far different Equestria and a curse given to him long ago.

It was a new day, though. The old pony stood in front of the large building that was put up in place of the old clinic. He tilted his head a bit as he saw the sign above the door was covered up with a tarp. Within moments, the zebra had found him, greeting him with an oddly sharp-toothed smile and guided him inside.

Within, creatures of all races were working together. Gryphons manning desks and helping pegasi patients. Donkeys helping to research magical maladies and guiding people where they needed to go. Dragon sterilizing equipment and helping with physical therapy. Diamond dogs helping find mineral buildups in other creatures' bodies and helping test the purity of metal in various instruments. Every creature you could imagine seemed to be here, either to work or in need of help. Nobody was turned away or looked down on, all working in harmony with each other.

Everywhere he turned, a new breakthrough was seen. Neurological interfaces to help creatures with nerve damage. Special injections and physical therapy programs to rebuild atrophied muscle rapidly. Artificial legs, wings, hooves, tails, even eyes that seemed to function perfectly normally. There even seemed to be some sort of research into magically growing internal organs for transplant. It was all so much.

“I could have grown bitter and hateful” the zebra confided, leaning down as he wrapped a foreleg around the unicorn in a gentle hug. He made sure to pause for a moment to ensure that his limb wouldn't pass right through. “But you showed me true kindness and friendship in spite of our differences, so I decided that I needed to show the same to every other creature. Please, I have just one last thing to show you.”

They walked back through the front doors, the unicorn almost in a daze with everything he had seen. Trotting down the stairs at the front of the building, nodding in greeting to others using the ramps on the sides, the zebra led him down to the small courtyard in front of the building.

Grinning to himself the zebra gave out a shrill whistle and a gryphon and a pegasus flew up to the tarp covering the sign on the building. Lifting it away, a huge brass plaque was revealed:

“The De Writer Center for Inter-Species Medical Research”

“This is the end result of your kindness. You showed me that everyone deserves a chance, no matter their species. We will continue to work diligently every day to honor your name.”

[romanarose]

Ship me!

I think you know me well enough to just go for it. You know I'm married to Marc Spector, but like aside from him...

I will also accept a Pedro answer, but I only know his 2 Javi's, Dieter, Din, Joel, Maxwell, Frankie, Oberyn, and of course we can all speculate about the new Marcus

Here are my biggest relationship things:

loyalty, sincerity/authenticity

sense of humor a bonus, I can live without it, I think

I like PDA (be a little possessive)

But at home, I need my space. (Not a huge cuddler)

Can we cook together?

Does he like outdoors?

Can we nerd out together?

^ Does a man like this even exist??

after careful consideration, I ship you with Frankie!

I think Frankie's humor is more subtle (You know i ship fishben, i think part of the reason is bens humor is more brash and loud, Frankie I think is subtle, more dry like the office.) However, he can absolutly be a goof. I think outside of life or death movies lol, he's kinda like jim from the office. I watched TF with my mom and she said while she really liked Will (he was rational lol) Frankie was the most enjoyable to watch. Watch Triple frontier again and pay attention to his faces, especially after the donkey falls and almost takes frankie with it and everyone is arguing and he rolls his eyes XD

Biggest is he IS sincere and loyal. You will never ever wonder where he is and with who and why. Never gives you a single reason to think he's cheating or hiding anything except , MAYBE depending where he's at in life, his drug problem. However, I don't think his drug use is that bad in the movies? He goes to colombia without any withdrawl syntoms. Maybe just encourage him to go to therapy <3 but honestly he's very straightforeward. He just says things as they are "hey princessa Im going over to Santi's, Ben and Will might show up, wanna come?"

I think the slight switch is the affection public and at home. In leather and lace you dont see him and jana together again and much of Take Your Time is them fighting for their lives lmfao but For the Longest time they are together and HAPPY. Frankie is not naturally inclinded to kissing in public I think. I think he's easily embaressed. But hes also very protective and possesive. He's the type to have a hand on you in some way, mostly hand holding, maybe his hand on your hip to keep you close if he's on high alert. He knows how men are, especially drunk men. In LAL universe he's very aware that Jana is fucking stunning and my dude is constantly fighting for his life as she gets hit on , even 8 months pregnant XD He'd be the exact same with you. I think he'd WANT to be progressive and not like a caveman, but he'd be seething in anger (not at you if some man talked to you even though they CLEARLY saw you come in with him!!)

At home thought I think he's quite touchy and likes to be close. Im sure though communication you can work it out, like one of you can explicitly state i need space or i need to be close. I think Will is touchy while Lorelei is like you, more personal space. She can often be found with her feet propped up on his lap but oppiset ends of the couch. Maybe something like that (compare to Santi and laci who will just suck each others face in public and need constant skin to skin bc they are both traumatized)

Nerd out, yes. I think Frankie is highly intellgent but in a sciency way. He wont know wtf you're talking about with daredevil and moon knight but boy, he will listen. He will go to every movie premire with you, even read a fanfiction should you care to share.

outdoors are a YES just dont make him go up into mountains again. Maybe some hills. thats it.

[crookedmoth]

Hiya everyone. I’ve been on tumblr for a really long time but would use my acct for mostly venting so I wanted to start fresh and make a new account. I’m going to try and keep it positive but I may vent here and there and yall are welcome to as well. Now more about me:

I’m Shelby, I’m 24 as of writing this post, biracial transracial adoptee, neurodivergent. A few of my favorite interests are the Splatoon series, Donkey Kong Country series, and SpongeBob.

I’ve had a lot of issues and trauma but working to improve and currently on a waitlist for therapy so it’s a work in progress.

I’m an artist, an aspiring tattoo artist though right now I’m just focusing on improving my art as a general standpoint as there aren’t many shops in my area. But tattoo artist is my dream job 🩵

I play flute, piano and teaching myself bass guitar at the moment. I might post some videos of me playing once I’m a little more improved. Will also post art and such.

I’m really socially awkward both irl and through messaging but feel free to message/send asks if you want.

Nice to meet y’all and I hope to post more soon 💙