#these discussion asks exist because the sport is subjective. stay with me now

[verstpn]

All of these takes scream toxic fans… Just let people enjoy Formula One as they want 😂 Who cares it’s all subjective.

what parts of those takes screamed toxic to you? /genq. acknowledging formula one is a business at its basest is, to me, common sense; it works on cashflow. seats have historically been dictated by sponsors.

as for the opinions on daniel ricciardo, logan sargeant, etc. they are objectively true. as much as i liked sargeant, he was miserable in formula one- i really felt for him, but not only that; on a professional level, he was a liability williams couldn't justify. that is also objectively true. daniel ricciardo's points have been on a gradual decline for a few years now. whilst i didn't expect it to happen as soon as it did, the loss of his seat felt like an inevitable conclusion.

the take regarding people perceiving drivers as caricatures of themselves based in fiction rather than reality is a frighteningly real issue, like it or not; it affects the way new fans perceive the sport on a wider scale, and not always for the better.

i am not saying formula one isn't subjective- i'm certainly not telling you how to consume races and interviews. you aren't obligated to read my talks with others on the subject, but thank you for contributing to the discussion.

i appreciate your input, anon!

[makeste]

Do you think Deku will ever get mad at All-Might for keeping so many secrets from him? Deku has been giving All-Might free passes on things he should have known about like AFO, previous holders of OFA and now that Tomura is Nana's grandson. It feels like AM needs to be held accountable at some point.

I think it’s likely; he’s gotten fairly mad at him about this before, back when All Might hid the truth about his falling-out with Nighteye.

and he’s probably going to feel a bit betrayed at the realization that All Might is still keeping things from him even after this conversation. and it’s not like it’s just small things, either; these are some pretty major things that Deku is still getting blindsided by as a result of All Might’s secrecy. it feels like AM hasn’t really learned his lesson at all and is still Dumbledoring his way through this mentorship.

but the thing is, I can understand All Might’s point of view here as well, and I get why he keeps doing it, even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this anyway, especially since it ties into the matter of the Fourth OFA User and his quirk, so let’s take a look at All Might’s ever-growing List of Secrets, because there’s a pattern there.

1. OFA

starting with the big one. now obviously Deku is very much in on this particular secret. however it is still a secret from just about everyone else, and it’s probably the one secret that All Might has been the most adamant about keeping, going to increasingly elaborate lengths even as it becomes more and more obvious that all of these efforts are eventually going to prove futile.

the thing is, it’s pretty obvious why he’s been trying so hard to keep the truth of Deku’s quirk hidden. OFA paints a huge target onto Deku’s back, one that would attract notice not just from the villain side, but from the hero side as well. OFA is basically the ultimate prize. it’s probably the most powerful quirk in existence, aside from AFO. and once word gets out that this power can be passed on to literally anyone simply at will, things could start getting very ugly.

Deku would suddenly come under pressure from all sides, with people trying to use and control him (well, I say “people”, but mainly I mean the HPSC sob). that’s if they see him as a useful tool and a weapon in the battle against the League, mind you. but if they decide that he’s not, or that he’s not ready, there would instead be pressure for him to give up OFA to a “worthier” candidate. either way, Deku himself isn’t going to be taken into account. his thoughts, his feelings, what he wants, what he deserves; none of that is going to matter to these people.

and these are the good guys, mind! that’s not even mentioning the villains, who have already destroyed an entire city in pursuit of him. Deku is in a lot of danger now. and so far, Tomura/AFO have been surprisingly honorable in their attempts to get ahold of OFA, in that they’ve been targeting Deku directly. but AFO is a notoriously underhanded guy, and it concerns me that there are a ton of more underhanded methods still on the table for him to try out. because we’ve already established that Deku is notoriously self-sacrificing. I mean literally notorious, as in both his friends and enemies alike have all picked up on this trait and made a note of it. so imagine if Tomura ever decides to take hostages, for instance. “give me OFA or I’ll kill so and so.” then what?? jesus.

so yeah, all in all it’s pretty clear why All Might has been exceedingly careful about keeping OFA a secret even from most of Deku’s allies. this isn’t even getting into the whole U.A. traitor thing as well, but I mean, you get the idea, right? the reason All Might has gone to such lengths to keep OFA a secret is to protect Deku.

2. AFO

and now we get to the first of many things that All Might kept hidden from Deku himself! and these are generally going to be a lot harder to defend. like yeah, you probably should have told this barely-pubescent child that that the quirk you were giving him came prepackaged with a built-in mortal enemy, All Might. might want to actually lead with that part next time.

so why didn’t he tell Deku about AFO? well first of all please understand that I’m not trying to justify this decision, lol; I’m just trying to rationalize it from All Might’s point of view. he was less than six years removed from his fateful battle with AFO in which the both of them were gravely injured. and yes, he said that he believed AFO had died from his wounds; but if he really thought that was true, why didn’t he listen to Nighteye and pass OFA on to someone else back then? why did he stubbornly stay in the field for as long as he could? his actions just don’t line up. if he really thought AFO was dead, you’d think he would have been able to retire in peace, as there wouldn’t have been such a great need for the Symbol anymore.

so honestly, what I’m learning towards here is that he didn’t really believe it, deep down. but once his powers really started to wane, he felt like he had no choice but to pass the quirk on to someone else and just hope for the best. and then, once he met Deku, I think he really started to want to believe it was true. because he empathized with Deku and he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give him that chance. Deku wanted so badly to be a hero, and All Might saw that he had the heart and the spirit of one, and only lacked the physical ability. and there All Might was, with a quirk he could bestow on him that could potentially make his dream come true. he wanted to believe he could do that. he convinced himself that the threat of AFO really was nonexistent -- after all, it had been six years! -- and that it wasn’t a burden he was passing down onto this child anymore, but a gift.

and so he didn’t tell Deku about AFO because he wanted to believe it wasn’t something Deku needed to know. so in this case it wasn’t just Deku he was essentially lying to, but himself as well. so yeah, not the best rationale in the world, but a very human mistake for him to make, and one that once again has its roots in wanting to protect Deku. or more precisely in this case, wanting to protect Deku’s dream. he wanted to believe it was all right for him to hand down this power which he so strongly believed that Deku deserved.

3. the Vestiges

honestly it’s a bit up in the air whether or not this one was really a secret, because All Might genuinely didn’t seem to realize that the Vestiges were conscious inside of OFA. or so he says at any rate. regardless, I’m going to include it in the list because he was definitely acting pretty cagey about the subject back during the sports festival, and I’ve never been fully satisfied with his explanation.

if you ask me? I think one of the reasons why he didn’t want to discuss this more in depth with Deku back then was because he was afraid it might inadvertently lead to some other topics that he wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

the idea of the previous OFA users living on inside the quirk is comforting in some ways, but that’s also a conversation that inevitably leads to the subject of AFO and AFO’s brother just for starters. not to mention Nana, whose death was deeply traumatizing for him and which I don’t think he was emotionally prepared to bring up just yet.

but I think the biggest factor that led to All Might being mum about this was the fact that he himself was included among the Vestiges. because I’m thinking he might have been a bit paranoid about avoiding a conversation like this:

All Might: “hey Midoriya-shounen, I just wanted to let you know that those weird little shadow figures you saw during your fight were the ghosts of the previous users of OFA, who are all living on inside of the quirk. my master once told me, 'even if I die one of these days, we can always meet again inside One for All.' so you know, that’s nice.”

Deku: “huh okay, so you’re telling me I have the souls of eight other people trapped inside my quirk, well that’s pretty trippy but I’m a weird little boy who lives for this kind of wild quirk shit so I’m okay with it! but it’s not like it matters though anyway since you’re still here to guide me haha! it’s not like you have any reason to suspect that might not be the case in the very near future, right?”

All Might: “...right.”

so yeah. once again, the reason for All Might keeping this a secret is because he doesn’t want to burden Deku. spoiler alert, the next two secrets also have the exact same reasoning behind them. in fact I’m just going to go and lump them both together.

4. Sir Nighteye, and 5. Sir Nighteye’s prophecy

so #4 is the one that actually finally set Deku off in the scene I posted earlier lol. and yeah, All Might should have told Deku, especially since it was inevitable that Deku was going to find out anyway. once he learned about Nighteye and All Might’s falling-out, him finding out about the prophecy was a given. and so once again I want to stress that I’m not actually trying to defend All Might’s decision here lol. just trying to relate to it.

anyway but that said, the reason why he didn’t tell Deku is pretty straightforward: he didn’t want to burden Deku with that knowledge. he knows Deku looks up to him. he knows that Deku looks to him for support. and All Might has spent his entire career doing everything he could to be that strong support for everybody, for the entire nation. he wants everyone to feel secure and safe. he wants nothing more than to be able to keep them safe. and it’s so hard, when you have that mindset, to let yourself show weakness and allow the cracks to show and to admit and accept that you can’t protect people from everything, no matter how bad you want to.

how do you tell the kid you’re mentoring, the kid who’s come to depend on you for so much, that there’s a good chance you might not be around much longer? that there’s a good chance he’ll be left to deal with everything all on his own, the same way that you were? how the hell do you even begin to approach that conversation? especially knowing what kind of person Deku is, on top of everything else. for a hero, someone who’s dedicated their whole life to helping and protecting others, nothing is more devastating than being told that something terrible is going to happen, and that no matter what, there is nothing you can do to change that fate. that alone would have been reason enough to not want Deku to know. he didn’t want him to experience that kind of helplessness.

and Deku is still just a kid!! Nighteye, a fully grown man and a hero with years of experience, completely fell apart after that prophecy. meanwhile Deku just started hero school less than a year ago. he’s only sixteen. he is far, far too young to have to deal with all of this. yes, he needed to know, both as a matter of trust and as a matter of practicality. but the fact that he needed to know is pretty fucking cruel on the universe’s part, and I get why All Might was so reluctant to tell him. I get it.

side note!! I feel like it’s worth mentioning that this one is still a secret as far as a certain other person goes. like, I feel that’s pretty noteworthy. pretty much every other person who knows about OFA also knew about Nighteye’s prophecy, including Rat Principal, Recovery Girl, Gran Torino, and Nighteye himself. (although it’s not clear whether or not Naomasa knows, come to think of it. but it’s likely, since All Might probably physically can’t lie to him lol.) and of course, Deku now knows as well.

but aside from Naomasa, there is one other person who’s notably missing from that list.

Kacchan knows about OFA and AFO, but neither All Might nor Deku have told him about the prophecy. even though Katsuki has firmly elbowed his way into the OFA Scooby Squad and knows about all sorts of other things including SIXQUIRKS and the Vestiges and all that jazz, and he’s been helping Deku train and has been included in pretty much everything for months now, he still doesn’t know about this.

and honestly, this might be the one time where I actually agree with All Might’s decision. I say that as someone who loves Katsuki to pieces and very much wants him to find out about this, because I’m mean and because I love angst. but once again, I get it, though. because you probably don’t want to tell the kid who was thinking this...

...that at the time, when you came to save him back at Kamino, you were thinking something like this:

yeah. I’m just saying. I don’t think it does Katsuki much benefit to know that All Might originally went out to Kamino fully expecting that it would be his last battle, and fully prepared to die the horrible death that Nighteye foretold. like, on the one hand there’s definitely an argument to be made that Katsuki should know about the prophecy just so that he’s prepared in case anything does happen, because he would then be the one to have to step up and replace All Might as Deku’s primary support. (and this is something All Might already seems to have been grooming him for in recent months, which is a bit of a red flag as far as All Might’s mortality prospects are concerned, but that’s another discussion for another day.)

but on the other hand, Katsuki is a pretty smart kid. and if and when he does find out about this, there’s a good chance he’s going to connect the dots and realize that Kamino was actually a hell of a lot riskier than All Might ever let on. and there’s close to a 100% chance that he starts blaming himself all over again if he ever learns that. I don’t think it would set him back too much, because he’s made a lot of progress, but I do think that even now it’s still something that he feels a lot of responsibility for. and so really this is just an additional burden that he doesn’t need to be carrying on his shoulders. Deku’s not the only one who’s still just a kid.

anyway! so tl;dr this is yet another case where All Might was keeping something a secret because he didn’t want to burden Deku. and is, in fact, STILL keeping it secret from Katsuki because he doesn’t want to burden him, either. basically just trying to protect both of these kids here.

6. Nana’s relation to Tomura

almost done with the list now! for real though, it’s crazy how many of these there are. how can one man have so many secrets. like seriously, calm the fuck down, All Might.

so! again, Deku should arguably have been told this as soon as it became clear that the responsibility of dealing with AFO and Tomura was going to fall to him. except, I guess, the thing is they didn’t think it was going to fall to him. or at least they hoped it wouldn’t. AFO was in Tartarus, and Naomasa and Gran were planning on hunting down Tomura and the League themselves. and Deku is just a high school kid with an internship. so in an ideal world, he would have never gotten near Tomura, and vice-versa. the adult heroes in BnHA may be inept as fuck, but I’ll give them credit where due: none of them wanted this kind of responsibility to ever fall on any of the kids until they were ready. even during this arc, the kids were all originally assigned to the evacuation teams, and the handful who were on the front lines were there because it was essential to the mission. and even then they pretty much had assigned babysitters (Midnight, Fatgum, etc.) shadowing them the whole time and ready to haul them back out as soon as their tasks were accomplished. like, don’t get me wrong, the child soldiers thing was and is still very fucked up, lol. but they were clearly trying to keep them out of harm’s way.

anyway! and so of course this applies to Deku as well. never mind that he’s All Might’s heir and well on his way to becoming more powerful than anyone could have ever dreamed. he’s still just a teenager. and we don’t send teenagers out to hunt the bad guys. we leave that to the adults, supposedly. and so in these guys’ minds, there really wasn’t any reason to tell Deku about the whole Nana/Tomura connection, because even if it was true, in their minds it’s not really relevant to Deku. they weren’t planning on him and Tomura becoming arch-nemeses. and so it was really just another thing that All Might presumably didn’t want to burden him with at the end of the day. “by the way, Midoriya-shounen, you should know there’s a possibility that Shigaraki Tomura is actually the grandson of my late mentor whom All for One killed.” that’s basically just a very unfun fact that Deku can do absolutely nothing about, except feel bad about it. it doesn’t change the fact that Tomura is still a mass murderer who’s eventually going to have to be captured or killed. so in All Might’s mind there’s really no benefit to telling Deku about any of this.

anyway! and so now finally, last but not least,

7. the Fourth OFA User

so now we finally get to the one secret we don’t actually know yet! OFA IV, and his whole mysterious deal.

All Might, after doing all that research on the previous OFA users and their quirks, suddenly changed his mind at the last second and decided not to tell Deku about this one specific user and his quirk (and notably, his cause of death). why is that?? “I don’t want to speculate and talk about things I’m not sure of...” really?? so you think the better option is for him to be unprepared and to not have any idea of what’s coming, then??

no, seriously. I’m seriously asking that. does All Might, in fact, think that it’s actually a better option for Deku to not know anything about the fourth user than for him to be aware of it. I am genuinely asking that question, because I truly suspect that this might actually be the case.

because, you see, that’s the pattern. if you look at all the other things he’s kept hidden either from Deku, or from others on Deku’s behalf, that’s the one thing they all have in common. he kept them secret in order to protect Deku. either to shelter him from the burden, or to keep him safe from people who might try to do him harm.

so I think it’s safe to say that even though we know absolutely nothing about this particular secret yet, it’s still going to follow that same pattern. All Might isn’t telling Deku about the Fourth yet either because he doesn’t want to burden him with something, or because he thinks there’s some other reason why Deku is better off not knowing.

here are a few other things we can extrapolate here:

All Might’s next line after this is “because I’m worried for him”, so yeah. whatever the reason, he’s trying to protect Deku somehow.

All Might has a history of avoiding truths he’s not ready to face yet, such as AFO still being alive. so even though he says here that he’s “not sure of” whatever it is he found, it’s very possible that he is in fact pretty sure of it, but just doesn’t want to believe it.

the fact that he wrote something down but then crossed it out would seem to support that as well. he says “not yet”, but I’m definitely not convinced that’s actually the case.

whatever this secret about the fourth user is, it’s something All Might isn’t willing to tell Katsuki either, even though Katsuki specifically presses him about it. this makes me think that it’s not just something shady or unpleasant about the fourth user’s past (like him being a villain for instance), because if it was just something like that, I don’t think he’d be so insistent on hiding it from Katsuki as well. and also that wouldn’t explain why he’s keeping the quirk a secret, especially since he knows Deku is going to manifest it at some point.

so my thinking is that it’s not something about the Fourth’s history, but rather something about his quirk. and after all, the Vestige storyline is mainly about the SIXQUIRKS anyway, so that tracks. and so if it is something related to the Fourth’s quirk, and this something also convinced All Might to hide the Fourth’s cause of death, I think the most likely explanation is that something about the Fourth’s quirk ended up killing him, and All Might fears that this quirk could potentially harm or kill Deku as well.

“but if the Fourth’s quirk is potentially dangerous, then wouldn’t it make more sense to tell Deku about it so that he can be prepared?” well, yeah. definitely it would. unless, of course, All Might has somehow concluded that the danger to Deku is actually GREATER if he knows than if he doesn’t know. in other words, the risk of the quirk manifesting with Deku unaware of what it is, is outweighed by the risk of Deku knowing and manifesting it on purpose.

and this, I think, is where the rest of Katsuki’s conversation with All Might in ch 284 comes into play:

All Might has no doubt observed the same thing himself. and so what I’m thinking is that this must be some kind of super high-risk, high-reward quirk that Deku, if he knew about it, would be tempted to use while battling someone like Tomura, even knowing there was a risk of it hurting or even killing him as well. this is Deku, after all. Deku, who takes himself out of the equation. Deku, who is ALREADY pushing himself to extremes with OFA and has been doing so from the start. Deku, who barring a miracle will be lucky to have even 1/10th of the normal function in his arms when this arc is said and done. and that’s just with normal, everyday OFA and Blackwhip and Float. if you were to go and add some sort of super-self-destruct quirk on top of all that?? jesus christ. they’d be picking up the pieces of what was left of him, probably.

so yeah. if this really does turn out to be the case, and the Fourth’s quirk really is a potential suicide quirk? I could absolutely understand why All Might would keep that hidden from him. once again, it’s all about protecting him and keeping him safe.

and it’s problematic though, for sure! and most likely futile just like all of his other secret-keeping efforts have been. at some point he’s just going to have to start trusting Deku to handle this stuff, and letting him know these things. like it or not, he’s not going to be a kid forever, and Destiny is currently being Thrust Upon Him at a fairly alarming rate! pretending like all of these threats will just magically go away all on their own is not it. if you didn’t want peril lusting over him at every corner then you shouldn’t have chosen a motherfucking Shounen Protag as your motherfucking heir, my dude.

anyway! so those are all of my thoughts about All Might and his secrets. I do think Deku is gonna call him out on it again soon, and I think All Might will be apologetic for not telling him about Tomura and Nana, but I don’t know if it will be enough to finally get him to change his ways and reveal everything else. he is an overprotective dad filled with anxiety over his trouble magnet son and his arm-exploding ways, and it’s a tough position for him to be in, knowing that either way there will be pain that Deku can’t avoid. it’s rough. anyways, maybe I’m too soft, but while I don’t necessarily want him to just keep getting free passes on everything, I kind of hope they don’t rake him over the coals too badly for it either. he means well!! he is doing his best. hopefully they can manage to talk it out, sob.

[tf2-headcanons-and-scenarios]

Hewwo! Can I request some headcanons on how each mercenary would raise their daughter from childhood to adulthood? Thanksies!! Also, I adore your writing 😘💞

A/N: A nice short and sweet thing I hope you lot enjoy! My desire to have children when I’m older and married is strong so it fueled this for me :)

Scout:

- Honestly this man has no clue how to raise a daughter

- He knows how to raise boys, but knows nothing about raising girls, so you help him out more times than he wants to admit

- He definitely wants to make sure his daughter stays healthy and active, so growing up he introduces her to various sports

- Baseball, Softball and American Football are among the 3 most played sports between Scout and his daughter

- Early morning runs became a tradition between Scout and his girl growing up. Unless one was injured or sick, they would ALWAYS run in the morning

- Scout looks to you for giving your daughter life advice because try as he might he just can’t seem to give the right advice to her

- Overprotective? Nah, so long as his daughter doesn’t do something incredibly stupid or brings home a very dangerous partner

- When Scout’s daughter reaches adulthood, they continue with their morning jogs and start to play aggressively against each other in sport

Soldier:

- This man goes from hardcore drill seargent to hardcore softie in a matter of SECONDS after meeting his daughter for the first time

- This man is about discipline and self-routine. He’d try to make sure his daughter can look after herself properly in case anything was to happen

- He would definitely give in to the tea parties, he so would

- When she’s old enough, he’d teach her how to shoot a gun for self defence

- He leaves the stuff about school and girl-based advice to you

- He is literally the dad holding a shotgun when his daughter brings home a romantic partner, and he will intimidate them and their loyalty to his daughter

- Soldier will reward good behaviour and actions, often taking his daughter out to see a movie or get some ice cream

- When Soldier’s little girl becomes a woman, he’ll teach her how to use explosives and basically drop in with a packet of bread and stories to tell

Pyro:

- Pyro is just excited about having a daughter, that’s another person to host tea parties with!

- Dear god where they afraid of hurting her, especially since they worked with dangerous amounts of fire 24/7

- Cute clothes for the baby girl? FUCK YES!!!

- Stuffed toys? YOU BET!!!

- You enjoy watching Pyro play with your little girl, and you loved to join in

- All three of you celebrate the holidays like there is no tomorrow, and you absolutely love it

- Pyro surprisingly teaches your daughter how to be safe around fire. The last they want is to see their little girl covered in burn marks

- They are generally good with giving advice, but stuff like puberty is a zone Pyro does not go to, often leaving those questions with you

- When your daughter grows up, Pyro loves dropping in for tea, and definitely loves bringing up baby photos of your little girl

Demoman:

- Demoman is over the moon when he first met his daughter. He forever counts himself lucky he had the eyesight to see her

- Babyproofed the house and never laid a finger on explosives when she was around

- You never thought you’d see the day Demo would stop drinking, but ever since your daughter was born he didn’t touch a single drop

- He never consistently bagged your child about becoming a demolitions expert, but he always had fun making small and safe explosions in the yard every now and then

- He is the parent who sneaks their child a sip of Whiskey on the rocks. You were certainly not impressed when you caught him

- He did return to drinking as his daughter grew older, but he never drinks to the amounts he drank before she was born

- He is really good with life advice (thanks to his own mother), and is the dad that tries to guide his child along the straight and narrow path

- When she grows up he takes her down to the bar to drink responsibly, and he loves telling her stories of his days working as a mercenary

- You bet he tests the romantic partner with hardcore shots of Rum containing 90% Alcohol

- FYI such alcohol exists

Heavy:

- Heavy helped his mother raise his sisters for years, so having to look after a baby girl was easy for him

- Soft lullabies and fairytale stories at night were Heavy’s favourite moments of the day when your daughter was young

- Great with advice and puberty questions, though he sometimes turned to you to ask if he was answering them properly or not

- Definitely teaches his daughter fluent Russian and boxing

- As she gets older he starts talking more about his past as a mercenary and former life in a Russian gulag

- He definitely teaches his daughter the history of Russia and how bad things can be if a bad person was left in power

- When she grows up he is the loving father who loves talking as often as he can with his daughter. No matter how old she is, he would always call her by her childhood nicknames

Engineer:

- Engi wrote down lullabies on his guitar for her even before she was born

- Baby furniture was all assembled by hand by this Texan man

- He loves giving the infant girl cuddles and tries to get her to speak as early as humanly possible

- As she gets older he allows her into the workshop so long as she promises not to touch or break anything important or dangerous

- The amount of times this daughter of his has broken that rule is enough times to give him chronic back pains at the ripe old age of not-even-50-yet and you so very close to banning her from entering his workshop

- He is great with advice and even greater with schoolwork. He loves having discussions with her about subjects she doesn’t know too well. He will leave you with some personal questions if he can’t find the words for it

- He will encourage her to pursue her passions no matter what they were, even if society deemed it inappropriate. If she wanted to be a nurse or a lawyer or even the fucking Queen of England she can damn well strive to be just that!

- He invents various toys and items for her whenever an idea strikes him fancy, and he will teach her how to handle a wrench and a sink at least

- When she grows up he will continue making things for her and send them her way at random times. He will also be the aged father who loves playing the guitar for her

Medic:

- Local medical man knows you were pregnant with a girl before you were 3 months pregnant

- Said medical man was over the moon he had a daughter to look forward to (you found it surprising that he wanted to dress her up in a lot of cute outfits)

- Medic would always take charge with making sure you and your unborn daughter were healthy and happy throughout the pregnancy

- He would also be the one to deliver the baby! The amount of happy tears he shed holding her for the first time was the most happy you had seen him in a long time

- Having a baby kept Medic in his toes. No child of his, daughter or son, was going to go through the night with a cold!

- He is the one who always patches up his daughter’s scratches with bandaids and song-like words that cheer her up

- God forbid him even let her into the Medbay in the middle of an experiment

- Medic would let his child feed the birds, and Archimedes loves hanging around your daughter

- Medic would go to you for help when he needed advice on how to take care of his little girl properly, but otherwise the both of you were just fine

- When your daughter grew up the first thing she did was go to Medical school inspired by her father’s career, and he would help support her as much as he could

- She would also take care of her own brood of doves

- She promised to keep away from experimenting for your sake

Spy:

- THIS MAN WAS A NERVOUS WRECK WHEN HE FOUND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT

- He already failed to raise one child, so why did fate give him another?!

- He promised himself he wouldn’t run like he did with his first child, and stuck with you throughout the pregnancy

- He would not let you mention how much he cried holding your daughter for the first time to anyone else

- He was a very cautious man once your daughter arrived. He even stopped smoking inside buildings to avoid ruining her lungs

- Taught her how to speak French as early as she could understand it. This may have lead her to develop his accent over time but you love it

- Advice was something Spy trusted you to do more than himself. He would never shake the fear he was going to fail at his second attempt at being a father

- You always found your heart melting whenever you caught your daughter and Spy resting with one another after reading a bedtime story

- Even after growing up, Spy always looked out for his daughter, and wouldn’t hesitate to protect her from any of his enemies that try to harm her or you

- He is forever grateful he was given a second chance at fatherhood, and did his best to not let it go to waste

A/N: So I’m back! Hope ya didn’t miss me too much. Thanks for being patient with me!! 💕💕

[jocia92]

(Google translated)

Dan Stevens, who grew up in Wales and south-east England, spent his summer holidays at the National Youth Theater at the age of 15, and he was drawn to the stage while studying English in Cambridge. Since his big breakthrough as Matthew Crawley in the hit series “Downton Abbey”, he has also repeatedly appeared in films such as “Inside Wikileaks - The Fifth Force”, “At Night in the Museum: The Secret Tomb” or “Beauty and the Beast” . Most recently, Stevens played the Russian Schnösel singer Lemtov in the Oscar-nominated comedy “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” from Netflix. At the beginning of June, the German film “Ich bin dein Mensch” by Maria Schrader celebrated at the Summer Berlinale Premiere, which starts on 1.7. comes to German cinemas regularly. Stevens plays the role of a love robot in it. Unlike on the screen, however, the 38-year-old prefers to speak English in the zoom-conducted interview. He chose a brick wall with a lion motif as the digital background. No allusion to the song “Lion of Love” from “Eurovision Song Contest”, but a photo of the famous Ishtar Gate in Berlin’s Pergamon Museum, where “I am your human” was filmed last summer.

Mr. Stevens, in your new film “I am your human” you play a humanoid robot that is entirely geared towards fulfilling the romantic needs of a skeptical scientist. You yourself recently described the film as “delightfully German”. How did you mean that?

I wanted to say that here pretty big questions - such as what actually makes a person or how much perfection love can take - are negotiated in a very light-footed, elegant and sometimes humorous way. In my experience that is a very German quality. At least I have often seen with many of my German colleagues and friends that they are very good at not discussing difficult issues exclusively deadly serious and melancholy.

Where does your personal connection to Germany and the German language come from?

My parents had friends who lived in Bielefeld and we used to visit them in North Rhine-Westphalia during the school holidays. Traveled from England by car! That’s how I learned a little German as a child, and later I learned it as a subject at school. I even did a short internship there through our friends in Bielefeld. I really love the language. Funnily enough, I was later able to use my knowledge of German professionally, because my first film was “Hilde”, in which I was next to Heike Makatsch played the British actor and director David Cameron, who was married to Hildegard Knef. After that, I always hoped that there might be another chance to speak German in front of the camera, because playing in a foreign language is an exciting challenge. When the chance arose to shoot “I am your person”, I could hardly believe my luck.

Did you know the director Maria Schrader who gave you this chance?

Funnily enough, when the script for the film landed on my table, I had just watched the Netflix series “Unorthodox”, which she directed. I had also watched a few episodes of “Deutschland 89”. In general, I knew that she was a great German actress, not least because friends who knew their way around the German theater scene often raved about her. Working with her was a joy now. Her understanding of actors is quite instinctive and brilliant. I have seldom seen someone who can help an actor who is having difficulties with a scene with such simple means.

The fact that you had already seen “Unorthodox” shows, of course, how quickly “I am your person” must have been implemented in the past year …

Oh yes, that was really quick. In March I was still in New York and was about to premiere a new play on Broadway. But then the pandemic came, everything was canceled and I flew back to my family in Los Angeles. A few weeks later, Maria and I met each other via Zoom - and shortly afterwards I was sitting outside in a café in the Berlin June sun for the first time in months to discuss the upcoming shoot with her. That was pretty surreal because I hadn’t actually left the house since March.

Is it correct that you oriented yourself to Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart to portray the romantically programmed robot Tom?

In any case, these were role models that Maria and I spoke about. When you think of the game between the two of them, you always see an enormous clarity and directness. Cary Grant, for example, was always quite funny, especially in his romantic roles, but also flawless in an almost artificial way from today’s perspective. I found that very suitable for a robot. Apart from the fact that the ideas that Tom and his algorithm have of romance and love are certainly also shaped by the classic romantic comedies from Hollywood. Oh, the woman is sad, so I’ll bring her flowers! Such automatisms from the stories from back then were very appropriate for Tom now.

Keyword role models: Who shaped you in your career as an actor?

There were of course many. Jimmy Stewart was certainly something of a role model. My mom and I watched a lot of his films when I was little and I was always impressed by the kind of sweet tragedy that went into all of his roles. But maybe Robin Williams’ work influenced me even more. I always found the incredible variety of his films remarkable. He could make his audience laugh hysterically like no other, but also move them to tears in other roles. I always wanted to emulate this range.

In fact, the range of your roles is enormous and ranges from the Disney blockbuster “Beauty and the Beast” to a comic adaptation in series format such as “Legion” to bulky independent films such as “Her Smell” or the horror thriller “The Rental “, Which we just released on DVD. Is there a method behind this diversity?

Not in principle. I like variety, but I’m not just looking for roles that are as different as possible from one another. Rather, there are always similar factors that I use to select my projects. Sometimes there is a certain director that I really want to work with. Or the role itself is irresistible because it presents me with acting challenges. And sometimes a script is just fantastically written and I am interested in the topics it is about. With “I am your person” it was definitely the latter, especially since the timing was just right. In 2020 there were so many societal questions that ultimately touched the core of human existence. Such a script, which deals with something very similar in a light-footed way, was just fitting.

A few years ago you said in a questionnaire from the British Guardians that your greatest weakness was not being able to make up your mind. So every time you are offered a role, do you ponder whether you should accept?

No, no, when a script appeals to me, it actually does it very quickly. It’s such a gut feeling. If I’m unsure and skeptical, that’s a good indicator that this is not the right thing for me. That with the difficulty in making decisions related rather to something else. For example, it takes me forever to order in a restaurant because I can never decide what on the menu appeals to me the most.

You became famous with the role of Matthew Crawley in the series "Downton Abbey”. Did you immediately suspect at the time that something big was going on?

At first we were all pretty clueless. There are really many British history series, and we were one of them. When the first season aired in the US and was a huge success there, it was pretty unexpected. I never expected the impact the series would have on my career.

Barely ten years later, are you still being asked about the role?

Oh yes, regularly. Probably nothing will change about that either. I got out after three seasons!

In the meantime, however, the flamboyant Russian singer Alexander Lemtov from “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” should also be a character with whom you will be immediately associated, right?

Right, it has been mentioned more and more recently when people recognize me on the street. This charming, silly film obviously had a nerve with the audience last year in the middle of the corona pandemic. Especially since the real Eurovision Song Contest had been canceled.

The film was the number one topic of conversation on the Internet for a while - and Lemtov GIFs and memes were everywhere. Did you follow that?

It was really hard to avoid it. I wasn’t looking specifically for what people were posting. But of course my friends passed a lot on to me, and there were already some very funny Lemtov things. But he’s also a figure made for GIFs.

Another question every British actor under 40 has to put up with these days: Would you like to become the next James Bond?

Oh, of course, everyone gets to hear this question again and again who meets certain criteria. But it is completely hypothetical. Although a few years ago I read in an audio book by Ian Fleming’s “Casino Royale”.

You mentioned earlier that you and your family have lived in the United States for a long time. How big is your homesickness?

I actually feel very comfortable in Los Angeles. But every now and then I miss the sidewalk culture of European cities. People on foot, street cafes, things like that. Last year the longing for it was particularly great, although it was of course clear to me that there was a state of emergency in Europe too. In any case, I found myself reading books that were set in Europe and made me homesick. Which is why the unexpected trip to Berlin was really a boon.

You are also an avid cricketer. That’s certainly difficult in Los Angeles, isn’t it?

There are quite a few cricket clubs here. The only problem is that the few people who do the sport here are so good at it that I have problems keeping up. That’s why I always lose sight of the matter here a little. Even as a pure TV viewer, it is not easy to stay on the ball, because of course there is no cricket broadcast here at prime time. But as soon as I’m home in England in the summer, I really want to play again!

[cafeinthemoon]

Headcanons for Founders trio with an s/o who's a bookworm 📚

I don’t know if this has been done before but I myself am a bookworm and when this idea came, it was funny to imagine how each of the founders would react to having a partner who’s passionate about books

Ps: I’m sorry that I’m not capable of writing a short list of headcanons okay I really try but I can’t sorry

Fandom: Naruto | Founders trio

Symbols: 💗 | ◼ | ▶▶

Hashirama

First of all, I don’t see him as a book lover, but neither he’s book hater. He’s just the average person who can live in peace with the fact that there are books in this world without being too attached or disgusted by them

This is bc he probably has some trauma from reading caused by the huge piles of paper he has to deal in his office (he tries to avoid them by procrastinating and then begs for his brother’s help)

But he has a genuine interest in your passion bc well, he loves you, which means he loves almost everything about you and believes that understanding this hobby is a way to understand you as a person

And bc of that he always goes with you when you say you want to go to the library or the bookstore

Hashirama is the guy who’s capable of getting excited with your enthusiasm though he’s not really into the same stuff as you

So he will have so much fun following you around those corridors and shelves full of books

And will analyze every book cover you show him aka agree with all of your reviews on the covers bc he trusts your capacity of analyzing things

He will also hear when you talk about your favorite plots, characters, writing styles and quotes

If you get indecisive between one book and other you certainly will he will try to help you make up your mind by telling you that “this one’s cover is prettier than the other’s” or “I think this one will have more exciting adventures”

He will be content whether you choose this book or the other, and will laugh if you decide to get them both

Plus: Hashirama is good at spoiling his s/o so he will insist on buying any book you lay your eyes on to the point you’ll have to argue for him to let you pay for your own books

And when it’s time to go home, he will help you with the piles of books you borrowed from the library or bought from your favorite bookstore (with a significative % of discount ofc)

So we can agree that despite not having a great love for books, Hashirama will be the most fun company for a bookworm like you 💕

But this doesn’t extend to the occasions when you recommend something for him to read

He always promises he will read that book soon but you know he’s going to forget that the book exists right after you leave it with him and will only remember it when you ask it back 😐

Tobirama

Now, with this guy things are way different

Bc if you think of yourself as a bookworm, Tobirama says GET READY TO KNOW WHAT REALLY MEANS TO BE A BOOKWORM

Seriously, he has been reading since he can remember. It’s a part of him as much as the shinobi life

He reads absolutely anything. Politics? Yes. History? Ofc. Poetry? Same. Cookbook? He had already gave it a try. And do not let him start with Science 🔍

And he has a prodigious memory for what he reads, so he’s capable of spotting any book he has in his personal library with his eyes closed, so that even if you remember only one quote from the book, he will find it for you

The best part of this is that you can talk about anything about any book bc Tobirama probably has read it and will understand your point, and if he hadn’t read it yet, it’s just a question of time until he adds it to his collection

Or he will make comparisons between this book and others that are similar to it that he already has and that’s what he does to understand the whole point

The connection that comes from this is something unique. Your love for him grows as much as your love for the books you read

But everything has its dark side, and in this case it’s called COMPETITION

I’m sorry to give you such sad news, but Tobirama is that person who can turn the most innocent hobby into a competition if he feels threatened thinks you’re becoming more experienced than him in it. So expect to see him become a bit petty

He will not start a proper fight but you will sense that he’s getting into discussions about trivial details more often. He doesn’t need an invitation: if you say something that he mildly disagrees, he will discuss it until he convinces you of his pov (or you say you give up)

If you’re really into discussions and such, you might enjoy it like a sport. However, if you don’t like conflicts, I feel sorry for you lmao

If it extends for too long, it will become a reason for a serious fight, because he will get to the point of saying that “you need to refine your taste for books a little” or that “you should slow your pace in order to pay more attention to what you’re reading and have a better understanding of the book’s subject”

If things get to this point the only person who will be able to help you to make amends is Hashirama. But I hope it never happens

Now, the biggest advantage of being Tobirama’s s/o and loving books is that you almost never need to buy books, bc he’s the owner of the greatest library in the village (he has all the books you won’t find in the public library)

Ofc you manage to buy some, but you don’t use to do book hauls because you don’t wanna end up broken he always gets the books you want

That doesn’t mean you two don’t spend time out on bookstores and get back home late sometimes ❤

Madara

Can’t believe I couldn’t find that gif of him reading a book with his Sharingan

I don’t know but Madara and books in the same sentence sounds peculiar to me lol

I think his attitude towards books is similar to Hashirama’s in some points, except that he promptly recognizes the importance of books as knowledge and intelectual development’s tools. But in general terms he’s not the most passionate person about them

The thing is that he prefers activities outside the house, that push him to the limits of his body. You know, with this man it is about the PHYSICAL

So things like staying indoors, enjoying a good book doesn’t have appeal to him. You might love it, but to him it sounds a bit tedious

But he respects and admires this preference of yours. It’s good to see his s/o engaging in a healthy and safe activity

Sometimes, when he gets home, he might ask casually what you are reading this time, but this is not to be understood as an invitation to a long talk. He just came home, he’s tired and the last thing he wants is to hear about things in which he’s not quite interested, so it’s better just to say the book’s title or the genre

If he’s in a good mood, he will sit by your side and watch you while you read. Getting close to you and observe what you’re doing is a habit of him no matter what task you’re performing, but seeing you immersed in something you’re passionate about is different

He likes to pay attention to the way your eyes go through the lines, your lips move to repeat the characters’ sentences, your expression changing to follow your emotions and the delicate manners with which your fingers touch the pages

If you stop reading to look at him, he won’t even try to disguise 😁

And if you ask him what is it, he will just smug and continue to stare at you

Observing you is like a hobby to him, it’s his way to get in touch with you

Now, talking about your readings is something complicated when you have a partner like Madara

I believe the best way to talk about books with him is doing it indirectly. For example, instead of saying things like “I’ve read it in a book that if you…”, just say “Maybe it’s just the case that they will…”. Just bring out the idea itself and leave the source aside

He knows that you probably found it in one of your books, but he will not be bothered. Instead, he will praise the fact that your readings turn you into a smart and observing person, with a deep understanding of the world and its people

As you can imagine, going with you to buy books is to him what going with a s/o to buy shoes is to other men. Yes, he is that guy that tries to make you walk in another direction so that you won’t pass in front of a bookstore or the village’s library bc he knows that once you step into these places, you won’t leave so soon

Bc of this you use to go alone to do your book hauls or to ask your friends to go with you. Sometimes you wish you could make Madara change his mind, for you love his company, but you’re ok knowing that it’s not going to happen and try to concentrate on being in good terms with him ❤

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//have you ever. sugawara koushi//

Warnings: School Shooting.

Word Count: 2K

Have you ever thought about getting married?

That's the question that spikes your interest and causes you to roll over in your boyfriend's arms as the two of you lay in his bed after a long day of classes and practice. You can't keep the smile off of your lips. "Well, yeah. I am a girl, after all. I think we've all thought getting married," you reply.

"Tell me about your dream wedding," he says simply, playing with the ends of your hair.

"I really want to get married in the spring, when all the cherry blossom trees are in bloom. It'd be an outdoor wedding. The alter would be under one of the cherry blossoms. It will be a fairly small wedding, just some family and friends. My dress will have lace and be so beautiful that it will cause my mother to cry when I try it on for the first time."

"What about your groom? What's he like?" Sugawara asks.

"He's perfect. He's everything I ever wanted. He has the most beautiful smile and he understands everything about me. He makes my days brighter and he's my best friend, so I know he'll always be there when I need him," you explain, a small smile playing at your lips, trying your best to describe the young man in front of you without giving too much away.

"It sounds like a beautiful wedding," he whispers, brushing your cheek softly with his nose. He breathes in your flowery scent, the scent that calmed him so much when his day was not going how he had hoped. He can feel the soft tickle of your lashes against his skin. He's been aware that this was something he dearly wished to have for the rest of his life since the beginning of your second year of college together.

You hold onto his hands, the hands that have been worn by years of playing the sport he so dearly loved. They were hands that you wanted to hold forever if the world would allow it. You desperately didn't want to live in a world where you were not allowed to call Sugawara Koushi yours. You needed to be able to see his smile and hear his voice and watch the way his face scrunched up when he laughed.

"Can I ask you something else?" He asks after the room is filled with silence for a few moments. You just nod. Sugawara leans over the edge of his bed, pulling out a shoe box that he had filled with things he couldn't bring himself to get rid off, a few medals, some old photos from high school, and so many other things, but you notice something different in the box. He picks up a smaller box out of the mess of things before pushing the shoe box back under his bed. Suga sits cross-legged in front of you with the box in the palm of his hand. His teeth have captured his bottom lip and he can't meet your eyes.

"Koushi," you say, lifting his chin so he's looking at you. You watch as he takes a deep breath and gives you a smile that makes your heart melt.

He starts to open the box, but then he shakes his head, "No, I need to do this properly," he mutters to himself. He stands up from his bed, pulling you with him so you're standing in front of him. He takes one of your hands in his and sinks down onto a single knee, his hazel eyes never leaving yours.

Your eyes widen as you look down at him and your mouth hangs open. You see him smile in amusement before lifting the lid of the box and showing you a small diamond ring that he had once told you belonged to his late grandmother.   "I want to be the groom at your dream wedding.  We've been together for almost five years and I want to be with you so many more.  Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He asks, looking up at you with hope filled eyes.

Have you ever thought about having kids?

Koushi asked you this on your fourth wedding anniversary.  It had been over a beautiful dinner that he had prepared for the two of you so you could both spend the evening at home, especially considering that you both had work in the morning.  The question nearly caused you to choke on your wine.

The subject of kids had been something briefly discussed when you two were still dating and had never really come up since.  You both just really enjoyed the company of one another and, up until now, didn't want it to be interrupted by a baby.  You were aware that kids had been something that Koushi did see in the future and he was aware that, while you were hesitant, the possibility of children was something you were open to.  

You were unaware of what to answer in this moment.  Yes, allowing Koushi to be the father of your children was something you had thought about.  But, were you ready for locking in your fate as a possible mother?  You weren't really sure.

You took one look at his face.  His eyebrows were knit together, trying to read you, trying to figure out if he what he had said had been to sudden and abrupt.  Should he have just kept the thought to himself for the moment and shared the desire with you later?  

The look in his eyes was nothing but love and that was what brought your answer from your throat.  "I want kids."  He recoiled back at your answer, completely prepared for rejection, so your approval came as a shock to your silver-haired husband.

"R-really?" he stuttered.

You nod, standing up from your chair.  You grab him by the tie of his shirt, tugging him softly up so he can stand in front of you.  You stood up on your toes, connecting his lips with yours.  It was perfect, as always.  The kisses that you and Koushi shared never failed to disappoint you.  It seemed like every kiss was the first.  You always felt your heart skip a beat when his soft pink lips made contact with yours.  

You pulled him down the hall, untying the tie, and hanging it on the doorknob of your bedroom.  You back made contact with the sheets and Koushi hovered over you, placing gentle kisses along your neck and down to your collarbone.  He was never one to take things quickly in the beginning.  He wished to savor every moment he could as his lips met your skin.  He enjoyed watching the way you would close your eyes and hearing you curse softly when he did something you enjoyed.  He wanted to prolong those moments, proving to you that every touch, every kiss, every movement, was meant to bring pleasure to you, to make you feel the love he held for you.

Have you ever imagined living without him?

No.  You honestly didn't.  You weren't sure you could manage in a world where Sugawara Koushi was non-existent.  And the fact that that world was upon you, shattered your world into a million pieces.  You barely kept yourself together as they lowered the dark oak coffin into the ground.  You six-year-old daughter, whom looked exactly like your deceased husband, clung tightly to your hand, tears streaming from her large hazel eyes, knowing, and at the same time not, that her daddy would not be coming back to her.  

When the breaking news came across the television that Tuesday morning, you had been tucked away peacefully in your office.  Your co-worker ran in, not saying a word, just grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you down the hall to the break room.

The others on the floor were gathered around the small TV, watching the news channel as the news anchor continued to fill new viewers in on the events.  "-student has opened gunfire on hundreds of innocent students and faculty in a Miyagi prefecture high school."  That made your breath catch in your throat.  Part of you was being reasonable.  There were many other high schools in the prefecture.  You didn't know that it was Karasuno, the high school where your husband had taken up a teaching and coaching career. But, if it wasn't, you doubt your colleague would have dragged you away from your work.

"-over thirty victims in the past two hours.  Authorities are currently trying to locate and apprehend the shooter.  There seems to be no real target, just random killing.  We will fill you in on the current situation at Karasuno High School as the information comes in."

You're unable to move.  You're pretty sure you stopped breathing at one point.  There were only thirty dead.  You didn't know that Koushi was one of those thirty.  He could still be alive.  But, Koushi wasn't the type of man to sit back back and watch it happen.  

It wasn't until the following day that the names of the victims were released.  You had been home, watching the late night news after putting your little girl to bed, knowing the truth before even seeing the list.  He would've had someone contact you, no matter his condition, if he was alive.  

You couldn't bring yourself to cry.  Everything hurt too much.  You just felt empty.  Your brain wasn't working and you were pretty sure you passed out for a moment, because when you opened your eyes, you were lying on floor with an awful headache.  What were you supposed to tell your six-year-old when she asked you when Daddy was coming home?  How would you explain that Daddy wouldn't be coming home?  How could you break her heart like that?  How could you break your heart like that?  

This was the first time you cried since the incident.  You passed your daughter off to Koushi's parents after they gave you a tight hug, his mother's eyes stained with black eye make-up.  You had told them that you wished to stay back for a few minutes and to take your daughter with them.  You watched them walk away, their granddaughter holding onto their hands between them.  

You turned your back to them, walking back to the gravestone that had Sugawara Koushi etched across one half and Sugawara Y/F/N across the other.  You knelt down the best you could in your black dress and heels, running your hand over the date as tears fell down your face, soaking into the freshly refilled hole.  

"You weren't supposed to die yet.   You promised that we would be together forever!  You promised you'd walk our little girl down the aisle on her wedding day!  It's not fair!  You can't leave me! Not yet!" You yelled at the headstone.  The tears fell even quicker down your face.  "Koushi, I miss you... It's only been a few days, but, God, I miss you.  I miss your smile and your eyes.  I miss how warm your side of the bed always seemed to feel.  Our baby girl doesn't have her daddy anymore and I don't have the love of my life.  I need you.  I can't do this b-by m-my-" you couldn't finish your words, they got caught in your throat and a sob took their place.  You covered your mouth with your hand, clutching onto the fabric of your dress with the other.  Your whole body ached with sorrow and the intensity of your sobs.

You're not sure how long you were there, but your sobs finally began to turn into muffled sniffles.  "You know how you wanted another baby, Koushi?  Guess what.  We're pregnant," you mumble, running your fingers over the curve of the marble as you stood from the grass, not even bothering to worry that you now had grass stains on the front of your dress.  "Bye, sweetheart.  We'll come see you every weekend, okay?" You smile sadly, walking away from your deceased husband for the first time.

[notyetneedcoffee]

Soul Seer, Pt. 10

Loki Master List

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Only angst and a raging God of Lies in this chapter

Author’s Note: Takes place right after Avengers 1, with time travel elements and hints of Infinity Wars. Does NOT follow cannon after Avengers.

Every screen in the lab displayed analysis of the Chitauri materials or calculations for re-engineering the cities infrastructure. Despite the rapid pace of data collection, only one person worked in the quiet lab. The urge to sneak up behind him, to frighten him and see how tight of a hold he had on his monster, tickled across Loki’s mind. As fun as it might be, it would not be productive. So, Loki purposely scuffed his boot along the floor as he entered the room.

Banner looked up from the computer monitor, removing his glasses. He looked around the room, absently realizing they were alone. “Loki.”

“I would like to speak with you.” He circled the worktable, eyes instantly taking in the data flowing across the screen. Banner was examining his plans for an energy converter. “If you have a moment?”

“Um, yeah.” The doctor motioned to the chair. “What’s on your mind?”

Loki lowered himself slowly into the chair, gathering his thoughts. After spending the night skimming through the recollections of your day in the city, he found himself at odds. The mortals of Midgard never meant anything more than a distraction to him. At the most, they were a means to an ends. They were too fragile, too short lived, to be of any significance. However, after seeing them through your eyes he realized something most distressing. He found something in common.  

On Asgard, he learned at a very young age to conceal his emotions and lock them away. Even though Asgardians reveled in battle and celebrated robustly, they were not prone to the depth of feelings he seemed to possess. Only his mother seemed to understand. He always felt as if it were a cruel trick of the Norns, that they would make him so keenly aware of other’s motivations and yet feel the impact of their actions so deeply.  

Loki had laid beside you, petting you hair as you slept, as he made peace with the realization that for all of Midgardian’s frailties there was an intensity and depth of emotion he understood. He never would have understood were it not the connection he now shared. He’d been blind to it for a millennia.

“What is the status of people?” Loki asked, nothing of his inner turmoil on his face or in his voice.

“The, ah, people?” Banner cocked his head.

“The people of your city? What have your rulers done to assure their safety and well-being? Are they being housed and fed? Have proper tributes been made to the honored dead?” Loki leaned forward, intent.  

“Oh.” Bruce leaned back, tossing his glasses on the table. He rubbed his forehead. “That’s a big question. See, things don’t really work quite the same here.”

“Explain.”

“So, what is this about?” Fury strode down the hall toward Stark and Rogers.

“Banner just asked us to join him and Loki in the conference room. They have something to discuss.” Steve shrugged. He knew Bruce well enough to trust that they would not be wasting their time.

“Apparently, the good doctor has been giving Reindeer Games a civics lesson.” Tony smirked. Fury scowled. “What? This could be interesting.”  

The three turned the corner towards one of the many conference rooms in the tower. Loki’s voice boomed down the hall. “That’s barbaric!” Banner answered but it wasn’t clear. The god’s voice still reverberated down the hall. “And they call me monster!”  

Tony glanced sideways a Fury with a grin. “See? Interesting.”

In the conference room, Bruce sat on the table near one of the big screens showing a long list of statistics. Loki paced along the outer wall, staring out the window. Steve came fully into the room. “What’s barbaric?”  

Loki stopped, hands fisted. He turned slowly towards Rogers. “That the rulers chosen by your precious country, provide neither guaranteed care for their physical well-being, nor recompense for the loss of their domicile or trade during war or disaster.” Loki growled a little deeper. “And there are no tributes given to the honored dead.”

Fury sighed, “There are programs that...”

Loki cut him off. “Oh, yes, I’ve read all about your programs of so-called welfare, and health-care, and other miasma filled bureaucracy. From what I can tell, most of the resources go to those who already have resources to spare. What ruler allows their subjects to suffer so?”

“Oh, so you arrived and blew everything to shit to be a benevolent king?” Fury spat.  

“There is no such thing as homelessness, or hunger, on Asgard.” Loki hissed. “No one dies because their wounds or ailments go untreated.”

“Well, we’re not a world of bottomless resources.” Fury bit back.

“You have more than enough!” Loki stepped closer.

“Loki.” Bruce’s quiet voice cut through the tension. “Let’s dial it back, and get on topic.”

He took a deep breath, giving Banner a subtle nod of his head, before returning to the window.  

Tony fought to keep the smirk off his face. He never imagined Loki and Banner swimming in the same side of social politics pool. “Yeah, ah, what’s up doc?”

“Loki wants to help with the rescues.”  

“I can locate survivors better than your technology. I can communicate with them if needed when you cannot. Besides, the use of my magic and my strength is as useful as yours in mere physical aspects of reaching the living.”

“Locating survivors would be a big advantage.” Steve easily admitted. “People may not be willing to accept your help, though.”

“There’s no need of them to know it is me.” Loki turned toward the Captain. A green shimmer fell over his body. Standing before them was a man, only vaguely similar in face. His hair was short and light brown. His face sported a light scruff of a beard. His skin took on a slightly more golden tone. He wore jeans and Stark issue pullover.  

“Just can do that whenever you want, huh?” Fury sighed.

“Yes.” Loki smiled. “Man, woman, any shape or form I wish. It is a key part of my nature.”

“Gotta be fun for Princess Buttercup.” Tony mumbled. Banner’s eyes widened. The corner of Loki’s lip twitched.

“Would this take away from the other work you’re doing?” Steve, ever the practical one, wanted to stay on point.

“I do not have the need of sleep that you mortals do.”

“Why?” Fury crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

“What do you mean?” Bruce began, but Fury held up a hand.  

“I want to know why, after three days, is Mr. High-and-mighty all of sudden interested in the welfare of a bunch of mortal ants under his boot.” Fury growled.

“I am interested in fulfilling my vow to the AllFather as completely and as quickly as possible. The century duration of the sentence is at his discretion. I intend to be far away from this rock long before the one hundred years are spent.” Loki lied easily.

Steve knew it was a lie. He’d seen the agony you’d been in evening before. Loki’s concern for your welfare and what he’d witnessed of your connection led him to believe that the Asgardian’s interest grew from his need to understand your pain. It was enough for him to believe in Loki intentions. “Okay, I’m in charge of the rescue effort. Let’s go figure out how to best work you in.”

Loki turned his eyes from Fury, settling instead on Rogers. He gave him a small bow of his head. “I’m at your disposal, Captain.”

You rolled over crawling from the fogginess of deep sleep. The pink rays of early sunlight broker through the cracks in the curtains. Frowning, you realized you were alone. Sitting up, you called out. “Loki?”

“Yes, my pet.” His form simmered into existence at the foot of the bed. “It’s early, why are you not sleeping?”

It took a moment for your brain to catch up with what you just saw. You frowned. “You’re not here, are you?”

Loki smile. “So perceptive. No, little one, I am downstairs meeting with Captain Rogers. Worry not. You should sleep some more.”

“No,” You stretched and kicked off the covers. “I’m up.”

“Mmm,” He purred drinking in the sight of your naked form. “Then I shall complete our meeting and join you shortly.”

You smiled, amazed the Loki standing in front of you wasn’t real. Although, you realized, you couldn’t smell him. He always smelled wonderful. “Finish what you’re doing. I’m just going to take a bath anyway.”

He chuckled. “In that case, I will be there all the sooner. Besides, I have news.”

A/N: Thanks to everyone for hanging in there. I’ve finally circled around to this and have four chapters in the works!

TAGS

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[secondhand-trash]

Hearts to Give

[Requested]

A/N: Cadence back at it again with, you guessed it, even more Shisnou! Thank you anon for this request! I’m not sure if I like the way this turns out but I hope that I did your request justice qwq

Pairing: Shinsou HItoshi x reader

Description: He had no idea that it was you who put paper heart on his desk every day but it was fine, you’ve got plenty of hearts to give anyways.

Word count: 2251

Playlist:

Saw You in a Dream//The Japanese House

I Dare You//The Regrettes

If I Could Tell Her//Dear Evan Hansen

-

You poured your heart and soul into every piece of origami you had ever made.

Perhaps you were linked to this special form of art the moment you first experienced your quirk that you jokingly equalized to a controlled form of a blister. You always felt the most at ease when you were on your own, allowing your hands to follow their instincts and feel what the paper was speaking to you. It had become second nature for you, you did not even have to look at what you were doing in order to fold neat lines or make intricate details on the tiny piece of squared paper.

You were the most honest when you were left to your own device with your stack of paper, whatever on your mind flowing out and transmitted into the world you created for yourself with paper.

When you realised that your recent creations all took the same pattern, there was already a pile of paper hearts pushed to the back of your drawer and you immediately knew who you were thinking of when your hands acted on their own, forcing you to stare at your feelings in its face.

There wasn’t a big moment or a specific event that took place for you to have this not-so-subtle crush on Shinsou Hitoshi, your classmate that you had barely ever talked to. It developed rather naturally, starting off as nothing but small glances at the door whenever the door was opened to show the purple mess of a mop at sharply 14 minutes before class starts every morning to your own wondering thoughts of what he was thinking of when he stared outside the window like it was just him in his own world. There was no reason for it, but you guessed that’s what crushes were supposed to be, unexplained and unexpected. Before you even figured out what that giddy feeling in your chest was whenever he spared a little more than a glance at your direction was, the boy who fought his way through the crowd in the sports tournament was all that occupied your mind.

You started making nothing but paper hearts after a while.

Your very few friends who knew the reason behind your little habit often ask you why you didn’t let it be known that all those paper hearts were made with a certain purple-haired insomniac in mind. You would only smile and shake your head when they pester you, staying silent as you press yet another fold on the thin piece of paper.

He was never supposed to know, because those weren’t for him. The hearts were for you, you and all the feelings that were bubbling inside of you that you had to let out one way or another or else you were sure you would combust.

You felt messed up at your feet at how your heart beat faster whenever his name was mentioned even in a conversation you were not involved in. the heat on your face would not die down no matter how hard you try whenever he did so little as acknowledge your presence with actions so minor like looking at your direction when you got called on in class to answer a question, immediately turning you into a stuttering mess even when you knew that answer by heart before sensing his lazy gaze on you.

Let’s be real, it was probably and very likely nothing for him. You doubted that he even think much about your existence as anything other than someone he happened to be in the same class with. But to you, those rare moments of indirect contact filled your mind with unrealistic thoughts that you tried so hard to push away but only carved into your head in the process.

He was all you could think of but you would never pop up in his mind, and you were okay with it. This little crush, along with all those paper hearts that was threatening to spill out from your drawer, were all for you to keep.

Perhaps it was the love-sick hormones in your brain making you hyper attentive and pick up on the smallest of details, but you noticed that Shinsou looked very tired recently.

Not to say that he didn’t look tired previously because he most certainly did but it got worst for the past few days. He was always slumping over his desk during lectures and there were times when you saw him almost falling asleep only to snap out of it after his upper body lost balance.

Yes, you were looking at him when you thought no one was looking during class but that was a topic for later because right now, you were concerned about the well-being of this person who look like he might slid off of his seat at any given moment.

He was working himself to the extreme. You didn’t even need to know of those training sessions he was having that people were talking about to know that he was pushing his own limits both physically and mentally, maybe a bit too much. What you felt towards him was nothing more than a school girl crush but on a deeper level, you truly admire him for putting so much effort into fighting for a chance.

“Haven’t you heard? That kid with the brainwash quirk might actually transfer to the hero course next term!”

You hated yourself for perking up instantly when you overheard the chatter from across the room when the subject of discussion himself was still lying on his desk with his eyes closed. He wasn’t asleep, you had come to notice that his shoulders were ridiculously tensed up whenever he was trying to catch rest during classes but could not manage to fall asleep and right now, his arms were arched in an angle that was sure not to be comfortable enough to sleep in.

You wanted to smack yourself from noticing these small details. Christ, you even remembered onto the way he sleeps. Could you have been even more of a creep? You thought to yourself as you tried to snap out of your thoughts when the mocking voice from afar made your blood run cold.

“What? Really? Him?” the person snickered as their friend nodded, “I guess they’re just trying to pull all safety measures to stop him from going to the other side, huh.”

Hearing that made your blood coil and you had to remind yourself that you weren’t supposed to get aggravated by something people say about a classmate who barely talked to you. You clenched your jaw at the twisting in your stomach.

Glancing towards where Shinsou was sitting at, he did not seem to be too bothered by it. To anyone else, he was asleep but you knew that he heard it when one of his fingers that was tugged under his arms twitched and he buried his head just a little deeper inside.

He always seemed to be alone. Was he used to people talking behind his back like this? Perhaps it was better than getting snickered at in the face. Your heart sank at the prospect of all the harsh words he must have heard growing up, having the scabs on his mind peeled open again and again until it went numb.

You stared at the tiny heart that was just finished in your hand. You never want anyone to know about the way you feel, ever, especially not by Shinsou but you would hate it for him to think that he was all alone even more. “It’s just a heart,” you thought to yourself, “no one would know.”

You did not miss the way his brows quirked up when he saw the little heart on his desk the next day. He looked indifferent, you forced yourself to look away to prevent yourself from the inevitable heartbreak at any hint of annoyance. To your surprise, a small smile crept onto his face after the initial puzzled look faded away as he tugged it into his bag.

You put a paper heart on his desk each morning when no one else was in the classroom every day without fail and there wasn’t a time when warmth didn’t rush through your body when you saw him keeping each one of them.

“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, tell him that it’s you?” your friend asked, holding their face in their palms while they leaned on their elbow.

You tugged the last flap in place and sighed as you threw the heart into the stash that was piling up in your room. “Why am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, I’ve never talked to you but I gave you all those hearts. Also, I like you a lot.’?”

“Yeah?” you friend snorted and sat back.

You rolled your eyes and ignored them. In all honesty, confessing was never something that you ever thought of doing. What would you do after you confess? You would much rather just admire him from afar.

It’s easier that way, he never need to know that it was you and you never had to deal with the burden that was your feelings.

“Hey.”

You jumped when you heard the voice that rang in your ear all of a sudden. You were going about with your own business as usual, packing your things so that you could go back to the dorms and rest after a long day.

The last thing you expected was for the person you had been crushing on and sending anonymous love notes to to approach you for the first time ever.

All words were caught in your throat and your mind was running in high speed. What is this? Why is he talking to you? Why does his eyes look so pretty up close?

“You’re the one who’s been giving me the origami hearts, right?”

You froze in horror, the tip of your ears turned numb from all the heat that was rushed up and you couldn’t react. He was holding the one you gave him that morning in hand, a tiny heart that was made with lilac paper that you picked up at the store earlier this week. The familiar colour caught your eye immediately.

“Your friend told me that it’s you.”

Traitor.

His gaze was as if it could look through you and pierce into your soul. Should you admit it? It’s not like there’s anywhere for you to hide.

“Yeah.” You managed to force a single syllable out from your tongue that was twisted together. Great, now he knew, then what?

“Oh,” he rubbed the back of his neck and said, looking away from you, “I don’t really get why you did that but... thanks. I appreciate it, I really do.”

You nodded in response and he also returned the nod. The two of you just stood there and said nothing, it was the most awkward thing you had ever been through and you were dying to just crawl into a hole.

“You friend also said something about you having a crush on me but I’m sure they made a mistake...” He tried to chuckle in an attempt to make it slightly more bearable for the both of you but it only made things worse because how were you supposed to say anything to that?

“I didn’t do it to get anything.” You blurted out. It was too much, too painful and you’d rather get it done and over with then to have it last any longer. You already brought enough embarrassment to yourself in one day, might as well lay everything out in the clear.

“I’m not trying to get a date- well, I do but that is not what I did that for. I guess I did it so you’ll know that someone out there thinks you’re pretty great.” you sucked in a breath as the air in your lungs slowly ran out from your rambling, “I... I think you’re pretty great, and I want you to know. That’s all.”

You felt empty inside after all that you had hidden for so long was finally let out and your face was still burning. Couldn’t stand it any longer, you stood up abruptly and sprinted for the door.

You nearly tripped when you heard Shinsou called after you.

“Would you want one?” he paused before adding, “A date.”

Your mind went blank as you processed what he just said to you. Your crush, you damn crush who had you overthinking at night and picking up on his every action like some sort of fool just indirectly asked you on a date, which was too much for your fried brain to handle.

You still haven’t come back to your senses when he stuffed something in your hand and quickly walked away. Finally gaining your ability to think straight once again, you looked at your palm to see a really roughly folded heart. The lines were not smooth and the paper looked like it had been bunched up many times, you unfold it to find a string of messily written numbers on it.

You stood by what you said, all those hearts you made were for you, not for him and you didn’t give them away wanting anything in return. But it didn’t hurt to get something back, not when it was a heart from someone you really, really liked.

[collectsfallenstars]

Gravity: A Summary of the Development of Jeong TaeEul’s Feelings for Lee Gon in “The King: Eternal Monarch (Part 1 of 3)

*spoiler warnings for episodes 1-8*

I’m responding to a specific point that critics have raised about “The King: Eternal Monarch having a slow pace while the romance between the leads have happened at an extremely fast pace.  That, or there has been no development whatsoever.  In the K-drama world, yes it was fast, but in my humble opinion, just because it was fast doesn’t mean it was underdeveloped.  I think it had to be that way because of the kind of characters they were created to be.  And I am going to try and prove this by tracing the development of Jeong Tae-eul’s feelings from the first episode to the 8th only.  I’m leaving Lee Gon out because his emotional journey is different from Jeong Tae-eul’s and he comes into the series with his feelings almost fully developed.  The one that needs to catch up is Jeong Tae-eul so I will follow her.

Now, let’s look at these two characters.

Lee Gon is a mathematician and well versed in scientific matters.  He is a man of logic, relentless in the pursuit of a final answer to any equation. He comes into the series already half in love with Jeong Tae-eul.  Upon seeing that she exists, he pursues her.  His character’s conflict now is how to convince Jeong Tae-eul that what he feels for her is real.  But before he even gets there, he first has to prove that his identity as the King of Corea is also real.  Aside from this, he also has his own emotional journey to take on but that’s another discussion.

This one is about Jeong Tae-eul because it might seem baffling that she spent 6 episodes seemingly annoyed and exasperated with Lee Gon’s crazy declarations of King-ness and her utmost importance in his life, and then suddenly came running into his arms by the 7th episode and ended up confessing to him by the 8th.   It’s not that baffling if you take a closer look at her character.

Jeong Tae-eul is a taekwondo master, detective, not very good in math and science, but well versed in chicken and beer.  What with her being a detective, one would think that she would be as logical as Lee Gon.  She is.

But she and Lee Gon do not have the same kind of logic.  Lee Gon can grasp non-material knowledge like theorems and possibilities of other worlds from a theoretical point of view and only cancel them out when they are proven incorrect.  Like a mathematical equation.  It’s also why, between the two of them, he’s the more romantic one.  But Jeong Tae-eul’s logic is that of a flat-earther. I’m not sure if that brand carries the same stigma in South Korea as it does in the west, but I’m sure that the writer, Kim Eun-sook, did not mean to make her look like a nutter by branding her a flat-earther.  It just means that she’s one of those people who need to see something first before they believe it.  It’s also why she speaks so bluntly.  She says what she needs to say as honestly as possible because she demands the same kind of transparency in order for her to believe someone else.

She was also never really good in school, particularly in math. (Okay, science too.) Even Kang Shin-jae knows it as shown by his tired expression during the time they went on a stakeout.  This means abstract concepts like square roots, quantum mechanics, and parallel worlds fly over her head.  She relies on physicality to navigate the world. That’s what Taekwondo, a contact sport, gives her.  She perceives the world through her senses.  Eating fried chicken and drinking beer satisfy her body, her sense of taste and smell. They’re real to her and so she likes doing it. But if she can’t hold them, see them, smell them, taste them, and hear them, then they do not exist.  

And this is why, when Lee Gon couldn’t produce his identification papers when they first met at Gwanghwamun Square, refused to tell her his name, and told her he lived in a parallel world, it drove her up the wall.  

“IF YOU KNEW I WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOU, WHY SAY SUCH BULLSHIT? SHOW ME YOUR ID”

“I DON’T HAVE AN ID BECAUSE I AM WHO I AM”

If she can’t believe that he’s the unnameable King of Corea, how else is she going to believe that she is as important to him as he says she is?

In Episode 2, she gets his money, fingerprints, and DNA tested – methods she knows will work, and trust to do so. In Episodes 3 – 4, the fingerprints and DNA turn up with nothing.  The money, despite appearances, is proved to be genuine by Forensics by the 4th episode. But her first clue that Lee Gon might actually be telling the truth was his diamond button.  A legitimate jeweler accepted it in exchange for cash in the 2nd episode.

But it wasn’t until the 4th episode that the pieces of evidence began to stack up to support Lee Gon’s claims.  When he left to go home and Jeong Tae-eul saw that Maximus was gone from her yard, she actually searched for Lee Gon’s  movements through CCTV footage.  She found him disappearing into the bamboo forest and that was it. Although she couldn’t confirm that he had an actual home, the fact that he had disappeared into somewhere told her that he must have one.  It was also on the 4thepisode when she lost her ID card and it was reissued to her exactly on the date that Lee Gon told her it would be—Nov. 11, 2019.  This shakes her to the core because her flat world just wavered. And when Lee Gon reappears at the end of episode 4, she tests him about her ID picture and asked if it her hair was up or down and what she was wearing.  He answers correctly and seeing that he was finally getting through to her, he asks the very thing a flat-earther, taekwondo master, detective would want to hear,

“DO YOU WANT TO SEE FOR YOURSELF? COME WITH ME TO MY WORLD.”

She says yes and when she crosses over that barrier, all the flat-earthing walls she put up to protect herself came crashing down.  And when she lands in the Kingdom of Corea to the tune of his guards calling him, “Your Highness,” she finally gets the two things she had asked of him back in episode 2.

“I AM THE KING OF THE KINGDOM OF COREA.  AND MY NAME, WHICH YOU CANNOT SAY, IS LEE GON.”

He does have a home. He does have a name. He is a king.  This means that everything he ever said was true – including the way he feels for her.

Now, I know what you’re going to say.  She can’t have fallen in love with him in one day just because he’s got a home and a name. Honestly though, I’m pretty sure most of us have fallen in love with undeserving men for less than that.

Episode 5 may have been very significant when it came to a shift in her feelings but, things have been brewing beneath the surface since their first meeting.  She just put a lid on it because she couldn’t properly identify him and what he was.  Now that she has no excuse anymore, standing on his kingdom and even brazenly saying his name aloud, she’s now forced to confront this strange pull that this man has on her. It took her 8 episodes to explore this gravitational pull she has with this man and it is developed in an uneven pace.  

Episodes 1 – 4 are slow paced but with a huge amount of screen time.  By the 5th episode, their interactions become fast and heavy, but they begin to share less screen time together, making all their moments even more bittersweet up up until the 8th episode when Jeong Tae-eul properly tells him that she loves him.

EPISODE 1

On their first meeting, he hugs her with his eyes wide open.  He has pined after her for 25 years. What started out as deep gratitude for his savior had grown into a balm for his lonely existence as a young monarch. He wanted to find her and he did.  This is probably why he couldn’t even close his eyes when he embraced her—someone he had searched for for so long was finally in his arms and he didn’t want to miss a minute of it.

EPISODE 2

In the precinct, Jeong Tae-eul continues to interrogate him much to her annoyance but didn’t miss the fact that he said, “I have finally met you.”  Her brain tells her this is strange, but obviously, not enough to make her fall.  Nevertheless, it got her attention. And his answer will continue to boggle her mind.

“I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT YOU AND I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU A LOT. YOU ALSO LOOK BETTER IN REAL LIFE”

She gets a weird answer, and then a compliment. Her brain latches on to the weird answer and sets aside the compliment.  However, the weird answer also suggests the pre-existence of a connection between them that she knows nothing about. This draws her into his mad world.  

“THE PROOF IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.  I CAME FROM THE OTHER WORLD.”

He fixes his steady gaze on her after saying this.  The subtext here is, “I came from the other world to find you. I exist now, because of you. And now you’re questioning my existence when you’re at the root of it all.” But of course, all this is lost on JTE. However, she does notice that something more is bubbling beneath his words and his very still form because she then asks,

“WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT?”

“HOW ELSE SHOULD I LOOK AT YOU?”

He answers maddeningly. He says this in a teasing manner, breaking his intense eye contact.  But even if the manner is meant to irritate her, it also carries another layer of meaning known only to Lee Gon and the audience, “I don’t know any other way to look at you except with awe and love given that I’ve spent the last 25 years searching for your shadow.”

All throughout this episode he drops heart bombs on her one after another, including a proposal/command to marry.

“ARE YOU LEAVING? WHY? DON’T GO. IT TOOK 25 YEARS FOR ME TO MEET YOU.  I HOPE TODAY WILL BE A LONG DAY.”

“I HAVEN’T DECIDED YET. I SHOULD HAVE, BUT I POSTPONED IT FOR LATER. I LIKE BEING HERE WITH YOU LIKE THIS.”

“JTE I TAKE YOU TO BE MY WIFE, THE QUEEN.  YOU JUST BECAME THE REASON WHY I SHOULD STAY IN THIS WORLD.”

However, she ignores all this, ridicules him, or changes the subject. Also, she behaves this way because she doesn’t seem to have any romantic bone in her body.  However, only this one incident seems to have visibly affected her. He plays up the entire issue of tasting food for poison before he eats their chicken dinner and uses it to tell her this:

“THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. BECAUSE YOU EXISTED SOMEWHERE, I WAS LESS LONELY FOR THE PAST 25 YEARS.”

For one, imagine being someone’s salvation from a lonely life for 25 years.  It was a declaration too heavy and too earnest to dismiss and Jeong Tae-eul stares at him, almost frozen. You can see her lips move so minutely, it would be easy to miss, as if she’s trying to say something, respond or change the subject as she usually does when she’s made uncomfortable by his sudden declarations of affections.  But for the first time, she can’t.  It is Lee Gon who changes the subject by advertising the chicken he’s eating.  

Her inability to dismiss this shows that she listened to him this time.   She doesn’t believe his words yet at this point, but something in the way he said them made it hard for her to respond in her usual brusque manner. This stays with her.

Towards the end of the episode, she left Lee Gon standing alone in the middle of her yard, possibly cold and hungry, to grab some chicken and beer with Sin-jae and Eun-sop.  However, upon remembering what Lee Gon told her last night, about being the the reason why he hadn’t been too lonely and trying to find a reason to stay in this world, she went back for him.  She actually gives up chicken and beer for Lee Gon.

EPISODE 3

Lee Gon’s geeky comparison of Jeong Tae-eul to Zero was beautiful but I’m pretty sure she understood none of it. I understood only half.  Having understood none of it, she remains unaffected. His DNA results haven’t been out at this point in time yet so she remains doubtful and issues a challenge for him to take her to his parallel world.

Their walk through the bamboo forest, fruitless of course, irritated her. But three things of significance happened that time. She found out from him that his parents died and that his first duty as king at 8 years old was to bury his father.  Just like before, she couldn’t respond to this and it is Lee Gon who changed the subject when her face started showing signs of distress.  He doesn’t know it yet, but Jeong Tae-eul’s mother passed away when she was very young so she knew a thing or two about losing a parent.  And she just realized that Lee Gon lost both of his.

Being able to put herself in his shoes makes him real person for her, a scary thought for someone who still doesn’t believe anything he says.  And because Lee Gon allowed himself to be vulnerable, to be open, with her, it became easy for her to do the same for him.

When he asked her a personal question about why she chose to be a cop, she had actually answered honestly.  This event is the 2nd significant event for this episode.

“WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A COP? IT’S A DANGEROUS JOB.”

“NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD CAN BE BRAVE.  SO I DECIDED TO BECOME BRAVE.”

This was probably the first real connection they ever made.  It will be later revealed in one of those extended flashback scenes in Episode 4 how they had this actual conversation in the bamboo forest.  But as of Episode 3, this detail about one of her most important life choices is revealed by showcasing Jeong Tae-eul and Kang Shin Jae fighting a pack of goons while at work, while the voices of Lee Gon and Jeong Tae-eul having this short conversation are played on screen throughout the fight, as Lee Gon observed them from a distance.  This might make him look like a ponce, like a King who would never dirty himself with a street fight. But what this scene shows is how Lee Gon respects her as a soldier, a warrior even.  

Now, given that Lee Gon knows why she became a cop and how important it was to her, he had respected her enough to not intrude in her fight, in her work.  This is Lee Gon recognizing how capable she was to fight and defend herself, and trusting in her abilities enough to not intervene.  And for a woman who prides herself in her strength, this would register in her mind, despite Lee Gon still being a source of annoyance to her at that point.

And lastly, on their way back, he put his coat over her shoulders because in the middle of her frustrated rant earlier about following him on this foolish errand, she said she was cold.  This appeared to have touched her quite a bit.  She has been helpful to him, yes.  But she had also been mocking him, ridiculing him, and doubted him every step of the way.  And yet here he was, still being very considerate of her. This also means, he listens to her.  How can that not be attractive for any woman? A man who actually listens.

EPISODE 4

“SO THAT’S MY STORY. TELL ME WHAT KIND OF KING YOU ARE. A YOUNG, HANDSOME, AND RICH KING?”

More of their conversation in the bamboo forest is revealed in this episode.  This line is significant for both Lee Gon and Jeong Tae-eul. By asking him this question, sincerely, without any trace of sarcasm or ridicule, she opens herself up to the possibility that he has been telling the truth about who he is all this time. She openly acknowledges his identity as a king, for the first time.  And if you look at her eyes, they are a little softer now, not as sharp as when they bicker. (Of course, the bickering can be considered foreplay or unresolved sexual tension.) Anyway, this goes without saying that her question was sincere too, in response to his earlier sincerity.  She genuinely wanted to know what kind of king he was. Furthermore, she also openly acknowledges his handsomeness.  She has eyes, of course she knows.  She stated it as an observation. Now, it’s supposed to be a compliment, but she cleverly sandwiched it inside a question, so it doesn’t look she gave it at all.  This could very well be a very very mild case, of Jeong Tae-eul flirting. But just a mild one.

Deeper into the episode, we see her in the library, reading up on the existence of a parallel universe.  So now, she’s also acknowledging the possibility that he could have been telling the truth about where he lived.  So she sits there, trying to learn his world.  An episode ago, he sat in the same library, on a chair opposite hers, trying to learn about her world.  And then we are treated to a beautiful split screen of Lee Gon, sitting in the same library, but in his world, missing her, not knowing that across the universe, she was doing the same thing.  She’s not exactly missing him with the same fervor as he is with her.  But she is making leaps in bounds in the romance department here because she is essentially trying to learn more about him.  You know when you have a crush on someone who likes Star Trek, and you’ve never seen an episode, you start to look up stuff about it, trying to learn something that is of interest to him so you can have common ground? That’s kind of what she’s doing here. She is trying to understand him. It is ironically at this point where they are farthest from each other, that they were actually becoming closer.

By this time though, all the evidence Jeong Tae-eul has of Lee Gon all point to the fact that he was telling the truth (button, DNA, fingerprint, money bill, disappearing into the bamboo forest from the CCTV).  Then the last piece of the puzzle came to her in this episode – her ID card issued on Nov. 11, 2019. So by the time Lee Gon showed up at the end of this episode, she had no excuses left. Everything he told her had been proven true, and all pointed towards an existence beyond her world.  She tried to test him one more time by asking what she wore and how her hair looked in her new ID picture.  HE answered both correctly in the most tender way possible, because he wasn’t just answering her question. He was reliving every day he had spent staring at her picture for the last 25 years!) Anyway, when he answered both questions correctly, the flat-earther in her was left with no more questions except for the first two that she had ever asked of him.  His name. His home.  And because he had waited until he had gotten rid of all her other questions save for those two, the moment he asked her,

“DO YOU WANT TO SEE FOR YOURSELF? COME WITH ME TO MY WORLD.”

there really was nothing left to do but to give in to whatever was pulling her to Lee Gon and his world.  She wanted to know those answers.  She wanted to know him. And of course, the start playing Kim Jong Wan’s “Gravity” in the background. A song about surrendering to an undeniably pull you feel towards someone who is destined for you.

[dear-selena]

Sketchbook (Peter Parker x Stark!Reader): Chapter 1

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (Female) 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Summary: (Y/N) never understood science based subjects, despite putting all her efforts into studying them. Kids at school bullied her, her father, Tony Stark, was disappointed in her, and the Avengers looked the other way. Peter Parker, her best friend and secret crush for almost two years, was always there supporting you when you needed someone. However, since he became an Avenger and your dad’s ‘favorite kid’, you don’t know how much longer he’ll be around for you. 

You find yourself struggling to exist with everything working against you, and instead of asking others for help, you turn to your sketchbook. 

Warnings: angst, bullying, mentions of depression / suicide 

A/N: Hey everyone! This is a story idea I’ve had for a while, and I have to say this is the most intense writing I’ve ever done. Because of how massive I’m making the character development, and the fact that I’m going back to college in two days, my updates for this story will not be quick. I can guarantee that I will not drop this story, as I have already written half the chapters. All I’m asking from you, if you’d like to follow this story, is to be patient with me as I update. I was planning on creating a mood board and everything, so I really do have confidence I will complete this story XD. 

With that said, this story is going to have heavy themes of depression and suicide, especially in future chapters. If this is triggering to you in anyway, please feel free to skip this story. I will be tagging the triggers, and will warn of any serious themes throughout this story. If there is anything else I can do to be aware of safety for my readers, please reach out! 

Hope everyone is well! Enjoy the first chapter of Sketchbook! 

Chapter 1: Flashes and Shades

Words: 1962

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Shaking your leg under the desk, you anxiously wait for your chemistry midterm to return to you. 

As your teacher, Mrs. Smith, slowly passes exam books back to each student, you couldn’t help but pray for a good grade. ‘Please, at least a B this time… at least a B’ repeats in your head over and over. You studied your butt off the past two weeks for this exam, yet nothing would click in your brain. For some reason, balancing equations, differentiating the elements on the periodic table, and identifying every single scientific law known to man never came easy to you. 

You hope the extra studying you did would finally pay off. 

Mrs. Smith eventually came up to you and hands your exam back to you face down. Not being able to hold in your anxiety, you flip the packet over immediately, only to be met with disappointment and a wish that you never got your exam back at all. 

Written and circled in a bright red marker, a D+ mockingly spat at you. 

Eyes going wide and heartbeat accelerating, you quickly hide your exam, making sure none of your classmates saw your poor grade. You look around at your classmates to see them showing off their grades to one another, most of them with A’s or B+’s. Before you could let the significance of your peers get to your head, the bell rang. You quickly shove your failure into your backpack, and make your way to your next class, English. 

English wasn’t a hard subject for you. In fact, you enjoy the readings that were assigned and always participate in discussions. However, that didn’t really matter at Midtown School of Science and Technology, one of the top college prep schools in New York. Subjects like physics, biology, and calculus truly matter to faculty and students. 

Too bad you practically failed those classes. At least in English you could breathe easy for 90 minutes. 

As you make your way to your next class, you feel eyes following your every move. When you would look up however, students quickly look down, as if they weren’t watching. You knew they were. You’re (Y/N) Stark for God’s sake, daughter of Tony Stark, certified genius and team leader of the Avengers. Even though you were a Stark, you were a certified idiot, and everyone at Midtown knew that. 

You absolutely hate it. 

Negative thoughts start to come into your head, ones you wish you could push away. You mostly thought about your existence, how it would be for everyone if you simply weren’t there. Before your thoughts could elaborate and get more intense, your phone vibrates in your pocket and you see that Peter Parker, your best friend for the past two years, has texted you. 

From: Peter

I hope you did well on your chem midterm! I can’t wait to see you at lunch :)

You smile at your phone, practically beaming at Peter’s kind words. Peter always knew how to cheer you up and snap you out of your bad thoughts. You have no idea how he does it, but nevertheless, you love that about him. You’ve loved Peter for a long time, ever since your father took him in as his successor. But you knew he was out of your league. One day though, you hope you can share your feelings with him. 

Before you could respond to your best friend, a booming voice calls out to you. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss Stark herself.” You look up to see none other than Flash Thompson approaching you with a cocky grin, ultimately souring your mood. Flash likes to pick on Peter with dumb nicknames, but with you, he’s a bit more relentless. “How’d that chem test go?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Why does it matter to you?” 

“I’m just looking out for you sweetheart,” Flash leans in close to your ear, grabbing your shoulders firmly. “You know, so you don’t flunk chemistry again.” 

Quickly pulling away from Flash, you try to hide your face so he can’t see the tears starting to burn in your eyes. He’s right. You took chemistry last year with Flash, Peter, and many other students in your grade. Peter would try to help you in class, and that helped a lot. However you didn’t quite make a passing grade, and when you saw how disappointed your dad was, you knew you had to retake the class and get a better grade. 

“Oh sweetheart,” Flash coos in a mocking tone. “You don’t have to be ashamed around me. A pretty girl like you can always cry on my shoulder.” If you weren’t in school, and if you weren’t your father’s daughter, you’d have spat at him. 

“I have to get to class.” You quickly say, trying to walk away. However, Flash never made it easy. 

“You don’t have to run from me (Y/N),” Flash starts, and you reluctantly turn around. “So what that you aren’t at all smart? At least you can still go here with all the money your daddy’s paying for you to stay in. That’s some lucky wealth you have at your fingertips.” 

Before Flash continues, you turn and quickly walk to the nearest bathroom, tears already falling from your (E/C) eyes. You hate it when people brought your father’s name and wealth into the picture. Logically, someone that fails classes at Midtown, especially a science one, wouldn’t have a GPA high enough to stay enrolled. But despite your poor grades that never seemed to improve, you still roam the halls of Midtown. You knew your father has something to do with it, but you’re too ashamed of yourself to talk to him about those logistics. 

As you find your way into the bathroom and lock yourself into a stall, you let your frustrations come out, silently sobbing. Things Flash would say directly to you was ultimately what your peers would say behind your back. Almost everyone at school knew you were the dumbest kid there, and they made no efforts to hide their thoughts. No matter how hard you studied or how well you took notes in class, your efforts were never enough. 

It made you struggle to find a reason to stay around. 

------------- 

Lunch rolls around quickly, and after humiliatingly walking into English late, you want nothing more than to see Peter. You knew Peter always supported you, but you didn’t know how much longer he’d be there for you. Sure, you love Peter, and he likes you as a friend (at least you hope he does). But he’s been getting all your father’s attention for quite some time now, practically taking the spot on the Avengers team you’ve yearned to have for so long. You never know what your father says about you to Peter, and you really don’t know if he thinks you’re worth it anymore. 

You’d rather not think about that right now. 

You were also close to Ned and MJ, but you found yourself super cautious around them. They never brought up how you were a Stark or practically failing school, but you never knew what they truly thought of you, and that was scary. 

At lunch, Peter saw you gloomily walk into the cafeteria and immediately knew it meant bad news from your exam. Instead of asking you about it however, Peter compliments your outfit, a gesture that makes you blush. 

Peter and Ned were talking about their AP Physics assignment, you longingly listening into their conversation, when MJ comes over and sits next to you. 

“Hey (Y/N), small question.” MJ proceeds to take out her sketchbook and open it up. “I feel like something is off in this drawing but I can’t figure it out. Can you help me?” 

She slides the drawing over to you, and you start to admire her work. It looks like she started a portrait of someone, and you have to say it looked really good! The line work was already traced with pen and she started coloring the character in black and white. However, you did notice what was off about her work. 

“Oh! You didn’t highlight their face all the way.” You say simply. She raises her eyebrows curiously, but hands you her pencil so you can explain further. “You got the dark tones on their face just right, but there’s not really any white tones to balance it.” You start to lightly erase some of the pencil work. “I like to leave white sports around the nose and cheeks like this to give the face more depth.” You hand the pencil and sketchbook back to MJ. “You try it.” 

MJ takes the pencil back and starts erasing lightly, starting to see what you mean. “Oh! Thanks (Y/N). I tend to forget about that stuff.” 

“It’s all good. It comes with practice.” You say, going into your backpack and taking your own sketchbook out. Your sketchbook was practically a safe haven, filled with doodles, designs, and poems from over the years. Whenever you find yourself struggling with negative thoughts or even wishing you were gone, you turn to the moleskin covered book and just let your mind wander. Over time, the simple doodles and haikus turned into intricate drawings and full on hand-written stories. 

Opening your sketchbook up, you turn to one of your early doodles, a drawing of your father in his signature Iron-Man suit. “I drew this of my dad a few years ago, and you can tell I didn’t know what I was doing.” You laugh at yourself. 

MJ’s eyebrows furrow. “What are you talking about? This looks amazing!” You look back at the drawing in confusion. MJ just rolls her eyes. “I mean, it’s not shaded, but you got some really good detail on your father’s suit. It kind of looks like you can even see wiring in it.” 

Sending MJ a small smile, you can feel your cheeks turning red. “Thanks… I just think my more recent drawings are a little easier on the eyes.” With that, you turn to some drawings you worked on last week, ones you did after a typical scolding from your father about your grades. These drawings were more intricate, small shapes dancing across the pages in a contemporary pattern. 

MJ’s eyes pop out of her skull. “Whoa… Can I just look through these for a bit?” 

You nod, letting her know of some pages to avoid. You told her they were crummy sketches, but in reality, those pages were filled with words that… might cause some serious concern. 

As MJ intently looks through your most prized possession. You feel eyes on you again. At first you thought your classmates were pitifully staring at you again, but to your surprise, you see Peter looking at you, biting his lip in an attempt to hide a smirk. 

“What?” You ask innocently, unsure of why Peter would be staring at you that way. Was he trying not to laugh at you…?

Peter blinks, realizing he’s been caught. “Oh, n-nothing.” He sends you a sheepish smile. 

You simply smile back at the boy, a blush once again creeping onto your cheeks. Before he could see it though, MJ starts to ask you some questions about the drawings in your sketchbook. In moments like this, you were thankful that something distracted you from your crush. After all, you were nowhere in his league. He’s a superhero with crazy abilities, one of the smartest kids in school, and your father’s most cherished mentee. 

All you are is a dumb girl with a sketchbook.

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-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut

-Permanent Tag List-  

@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny

[mcnished]

So last week De Limburger published a pretty great interview with Robin Frijns, so I tried to translate it. Short warning, I’m no professional translator so the translation won’t be perfect. It’s a long one folks, so get yourself some coffee because you’ll need it. All the credits go to the original author, except for the translation, which is mine. 

Robin Frijns puts past behind him: “Formula 1 was very unfair for me.”

Yes, he admits he had been jealous when Max Verstappen rapidly broke through in Formula 1. Why didn’t he get the chance? But Robin Frijns has put the past behind him. “Sometimes I think: would Formula 1 have made me happy? All those fake friends, everyone trying to profit from your success.”

Right in the hallway of his lily-white, freestanding house in Lanaken, a little across the border at Maastricht, it becomes clear why Robin Frijns (28) was accredited with a bright future in Formula 1. His biggest trophies are displayed like a hall of fame, won on circuits across the globe. With his status as a future racing talent, he was standing on the doorstep of the pinnacle of motorsport, even before the rise of contemporary Max Verstappen, but nonetheless, his dream was shattered. A sensitive subject matter which we, so we guess, could best wait to discuss until the ice is broken. But we’re barely seated when Frijns opens it up himself, determined to clear the air. 

Press agency ANP published in 2012, right before you were testing a car with Red Bull, an interview in where you proclaim that “Red Bull drivers are treated like dogs”. You contest that you’ve never said that. 

“That story is completely false. The conversation with that journalist took place two weeks earlier, over the phone. He screwed me. He wrote down things I’ve never said. I spoke to him once, after that never again. I’m still waiting for him to call. No, I won’t say his name.”

Did he put the words in your mouth?

“No.”

Did he make up stuff?

“Yes. Look, Red Bull has always been known for quickly putting aside drivers if they didn’t perform. Dropped. But that’s the truth, everybody knows that. Every once in awhile it isn’t fair, that depends on the situation. That came up in the conversation, but the word ‘dogs’ was never used. I have friends who were at Red Bull. Okay, they have had it rough, but it’s thanks to Red Bull that they’ve come so far.”

What would you like to change about yourself?

“That people who don’t know me get a better idea of who I am. That image was created in the past. I’ve been with Audi for years, if they didn’t appreciate me, I would’ve been long gone.“

What was the last time you cried?

“Good question. (long silence) When my dog died, in 2012. His name was Bikkel, a Bordeaux Dog. He was only three years old. In the morning I found him in his kennel, a heart attack. Cold as ice, stiff, I’ll never forget that.”

What do you regret?

“I regret that I’ve trusted people too easily, managers for example. I didn’t have the right people around met at the right time. One manager once demanded three ton from me. He lost that case. I recently ran into me, he shook my hand. What I think when that happens? Absolutely nothing.”

Who would you like to spend 24 hours with?

“Ayrton Senna. He always said how it was, was passionated, loved his country. He never forgot where he came from. Some people compare himself to him, like Hamilton. Senna stayed himself, Hamilton didn’t. I appreciate his driving skills, not his personality.”

Are you still being haunted by that publication?

“Yes, still. That stone started rolling and it feels like it has never really stopped. For some, it’s rolling still.”

If you’re so convinced about being right, why have you never taken action?

“If so, I, a layman from motorsports, would have to take it up against a journalist of ANP. Against such a big corporation.”

You didn’t have any good experiences with Bild, the biggest tabloid of Germany, either. 

“My manager at the time had contacts there. He let them record that I’m so difficult to work with. That hurt me even more than the whole Red Bull story. We split after that. Later teams said to me: “you are so difficult”. Where is that coming from, I thought. That image caused a reluctant effect on people who didn’t know me. Only after I’ve tested for them, did they know who I really was.”

How do you describe yourself? 

“I don’t like dishonesty, I can’t work with it. I’m very direct. Say what I want to say, but always based on something. And I never show myself when I don’t know someone. That’s a disadvantage... I have to get to know them first.”

You’ve been a test driver for various F1 teams in the years following that infamous ANP piece, but you never got a real chance. Why didn’t it happen?

“De F1 world was very unfair for me. At certain moments I drove faster than the drivers who did have a seat. Like Hülkenberg. Or Ericcson. But I didn’t bring millions. Others did. They shook my hand and I could leave. How unfair is that? I didn’t feel appreciated. That’s when the joy vanished. Compare it to football: if you move from Ajax to Barcelona, but you spend the whole year on the bench, what did you gain?”

Did you ever try to get those millions yourself?

“I have tried to play the game, but I missed the background in that world to achieve it. There were businessmen with interest in F1, but they all came from above the rivers. They didn’t see me as Dutch. Because I’m from Maastricht.”

Did your reputation play a part in this?

“People in business don’t read that stuff. It’s about investments, I think. “

How long did you need to process this broken F1 dream?

“At least two years. I just wasn’t feeling well. Constantly annoyed.”

Did you have someone to cry with?

“No, I did it on my own. My father struggled a lot, he’s just like me. He felt that injustice as well. Support? My parents have always supported me, up to a certain point.”

Are you guys talkers?

“A little. I’m from a family who isn’t involved with motorsport at all. The whole family loves football, my brother played for MVV [Maastricht’s football club]. I rolled into that world, without knowing where I’d end up. My father is a real businessman in the steel industry. He doesn’t understand the racing world.”

Not long after you Max Verstappen rose through the ranks, at lightning speed. He’s a world star now. Don’t you think: this could have been me?

“Of course, yes. I have never driven against Max, so I can’t say who’s better. That comparison is bullshit. But I certainly would have been at the same level as Max.”

Are you jealous of his success?

“Maybe a bit in the beginning. But not for the last three, four years. There’s always a pro and a con. I talked to him a few times. I don’t have anything against Max, amazing how he’s doing, a lot of respect. Especially for his dad, I know him much better than Max. But I don’t know if I want to be in the position he’s in.”

Why not?

“I want to be free in the things I do. If I were Max. I’d live in Monaco. Something I absolutely do not want. When I’m home, I want to be home, close to Maastricht. If I were at Max’s level I wouldn’t be able to go to a terrace, drink coffee in peace. That’s the flipside. Of course, at the track, a lot of people come to you, nothing wrong with that. But at a certain point, especially after a shitty race, you think: please leave me alone. 24/7 attention, it would drive me crazy.”

You currently drive in both Formula E and DTM. Does that give you enough satisfaction? 

“I joined Audi three, four years ago. That’s when it started to go better. They really appreciate me, they know me and they work well with me. With DTM and Formula E, I’ve found the fun again. The future? I want to be competitive, that’s the most important thing. When I’m 36 or 37 and I notice I’m no longer competitive, I’ll retire.”

Sustainability is a big theme nowadays. Do you think Formula 1 will merge with Formula E? 

“I think Formula E will fight Formula 1. But they can’t compete yet. FE has only existed for six years, F1 for almost seventy. Although I see that a lot more racing becomes electronic. You have Moto E, rallycross E. If you ask me now whether it has a future, I’d say yes. But maybe it will be different in ten years.”

Does idealism play a part in your choice for Formula E?

“That’s the same thing as not eating meat because you’re against animal cruelty. Honestly? A little, I think. Of course, it’s more about my career. But I do see the dense smog above China. You don’t have that in Maastricht.”

Your father once mentioned on the radio that he doesn’t like it at all, that speed. Does that affect you?

“I think every parent feels like that. The worst thing that can happen to you, is losing your own child. I’m very sober about this. It’s a dangerous sport. If you crash, so be it. But it does something to you when you hear about one. When I was on holiday in Santorini this summer, I got a text from Linsey, a good friend I’ve known for twelve years. She wrote: if you do this to me, I’ll kill you. I thought: what is she talking about? When I searched YouTube, I saw that Anthoine Hubert had a fatal crash in Francorchamps. I was quiet all day. I notice, the older I get, the more it affects me. I too want kids, in the future.”

Do you have a relationship?

“I’ve been together with Maike, a German, for over a year. She is a communications officer at ABT Sportsline, the DTM team I drive for. She lives 700 kilometres away, south of Munich. We see each other every weekend, I’m happy with her. It’s a long drive, I once did it in four hours. At night. Cruise control, 300 per hour, you’re there in no time.”

Was it love at first sight? 

“No, I don’t believe in that. Win trust first, that’s how I am. If I enter someone’s house, it’s never, hey, here I am.”

And then you give all of you?

“Yes. But when someone turns their back to me, it’s over quickly with me. For me no means no. A lot of people know that. If it’s a disadvantage, I don’t know. It does have something, I think.”

Formula 1, is that book closed for good? 

“If I could prove myself at a decent team, with a multiyear contract, I would consider it. But if I would want it? I don’t know. Sometimes I think: would Formula 1 have made me happy? All those fake friends, all those people who try to benefit from your success. No, that doesn’t make me happy. I know who I have now. Parents, friends, my girlfriends. People who only want what’s best for you. People who value you. If you’re world-famous, those are hard to find. 

[h-styles-babes]

ELEVEN

Week Three

The first time Harry and Sia spent time together outside of their working hours was with Mitch in tow. When some of the other techs had suggested a night out in the city, Harry and Sia had both declined. Sia was not up for the sweating that was sure to take place in whatever bar or club they ended up at, and Harry was sort of enjoying just being able to relax between work sessions. Mitch wasn’t up for going out if the two people he liked the most were staying in, so he’d also declined. They’d all figured they’d go their separate ways for a relaxing night by themselves, but when Harry ran into Sia in the kitchen, who was popping a bag of popcorn in the microwave, he asked what she was up to for the night.

“Figured I’d settle in and watch a movie or summat,” she said, walking toward the wine fridge to find a bottle that struck her fancy.

“I was actually gonna watch somethin’ out here. Care to join me?” Harry was sure she’d decline the offer, seeing as it appeared that she wanted a night to herself. He figured he’d just put it out there, since he wouldn’t mind her company, but he wouldn’t be all that disappointed if she said no.

Sia took a few moments to think about it and let the question linger as she went about finding a cork screw. She finally looked up at him and smiled. “Sure. But no Notebook. God knows I could go the rest of my life never seeing that movie again and it would be too soon.”

“Notting Hill?” Harry suggested without missing a beat. He already knew Sia held some sort of grudge against The Notebook, so he’d already planned to watch a movie that she could actually stand to watch. She was a sucker for Hugh Grant films.

“Aces.” She went to grab herself a wine glass. “Want some?” she asked over her shoulder.

Harry turned the bottle so the label was facing him and agreed when he saw it was a dessert wine. He liked to pretend that his wine taste was refined, but really he liked the sweet stuff, especially when he was just sitting back and relaxing for a night.

Harry was just pulling the bag of popcorn out of the microwave and putting another one in when Mitch emerged from the hall. He was in sweats and a baggy t-shirt, with his hair pulled back in a low ponytail, and Sia smiled at how comfy he looked. Not that Mitch was ever really overdressed, but she couldn’t say she’d ever seen him in anything but a jeans and vintage band tees. She’d never seen him in sleep or loungewear. He looked cosy.

“Movie night?” he asked, looking at the goings-on in the kitchen.

“Wanna join us?” Harry asked, waving a bag of popcorn at him.

“What are we watching?” Mitch asked, going to find a big bowl to put the snack in.

“Notting Hill,” Harry and Sia answered at the same time.

Mitch looked between the two of them as they went about the tasks they had assigned themselves. He could very clearly imagine them working in together in perfect harmony like this, maybe sending each other sly grins and every one in a while rubbing up against each other innocently but lovingly. He could see how they would have been such a great couple. Even with their current tiffs, they complimented each other in a way that Mitch wasn’t really sure he’d ever seen before. While it could have been a result of being together for years and being friends for even longer, he was pretty sure it was just because they fit together. They were supposed to be in each other’s lives. Being separated for nearly a year didn’t dull any of their natural proclivities as a couple. Merely existing beside each other didn’t seem possible for them.

“Sounds great,” Mitch agreed.

“Wine?” Sia asked him, already pulling out a third glass.

“Thanks.”

The trio settled into the plush couch in the living room once they’d made all the arrangements for their snacks and beverages. Sia plopped herself right in the middle of the couch, because that was the most central view of the telly. The boys settled in around her, Harry on her right and Mitch on her left. Mitch watched them both closely out of the corner of his eye as Harry turned on the TV, looking to see if there was any lingering weirdness between then. Sia had told him that they’d called a truce, but he was unsure of how that was actually executing itself.

When he looked at them, he didn’t see any outward signs that either of them were uncomfortable. Sia actually chuckled at something that Harry said, probably some stupid joke that Mitch had learned to expect from him over the last couple of weeks. Mitch could physically feel the relaxed atmosphere around them, too. Compared to the previous two weeks, it was a big improvement, and Mitch hoped they could maintain it, both for the of the album-making process and for the sake of their tenuous relationship.

~*~*~*~

On Monday afternoon, Sia called Ellen during her lunch break. She hadn’t spoken to her friend on the phone since their discussion after she’d blown up on Harry in the studio. They’d sent texts back and forth, but it was mostly Ellen checking in to make sure Sia wasn’t completely tearing herself apart for what had happened. This was the first chance that Sia was getting to call her when it was a reasonable time for both of them, given the time difference.

“Sia, darling, how are yeh?” Ellen answered chirpily, sounding way too happy after a long day of work.

“Why do you sound so chipper?” Sia asked, genuinely confused. Mondays were typically Ellen’s least favourite day of the week, and she was usually grumpy after she got off of work. This was out of character for her.

“Because I got approved for time off in four weeks time!” she nearly squealed, the sentence practically bursting from her mouth.

“Please tell me you’re comin’ to visit me,” Sia nearly begged. For how much she was actually enjoying being around the people she worked with and the friendship she’d forged with Mitch, she missed her best friend. They hadn’t seen each other since Sia had left the UK earlier in the year.

“What the fuck else would I use my holiday for?” she asked, sounding affronted.

“Fuck, I’m so excited. I’ll have to come up with some stuff that we can do while you’re here.”

“I’ll let yeh know when I get flights arranged. Now, yeh didn’t answer my original question. How are yeh? How are things going?”

Sia laid herself back on her bed, propping her head up on her arm. She took a deep breath before unloading all that had happened in the last few days. Starting with her chat with Mitch about the real reason why she was so broken up about and upset with Harry and ending with the relaxing night at home she had with both Mitch and Harry on Saturday. Ellen applauded her for calling the truce with Harry, and she also sympathized with her for all she spilled to Mitch. El knew it was a really touchy subject for Sia, despite the months of therapy and separation from what had happened, but she was really proud of her for being able to talk to someone about it, beside El and her own mum. It was another big step closer in being able to heal from what happened, and El was sure to acknowledge that.

Sia shed a few tears while recounting her busy weekend, so she quickly wiped them away when she heard someone calling for her from down the hall. She was glad that she was able to keep it to just a few tears running into the hair at her temples.

She sniffed and sat up in bed. “Gotta go, El. Lunch is up and I need to get back in the studio.”

“Alright, love. Call me when yeh next get a chance. And I’ll email you my flight information when I get everythin’ arranged.” El paused for a few moments after Sia hummed her agreement. “I’m really proud of you for telling Mitch about what happened. I know it was hard, but your therapist is right: Telling trusted people will help you tell Harry. And then hopefully the real healing will begin.”

Sia took a deep breath, letting the crisp air from the A/C cleanse her lungs. She reckoned a walk on the beach after sunset was in order to really help her keep her calm. Maybe even some light yoga, just to center her.

“I know. I’m workin’ on it, El. And thank you.”

~*~*~*~

At the end of their recording session that day, it was just half five. It was still hot outside, but that wasn’t going to deter Sia from doing her yoga like she had planned. Maybe the sweating would make her feel better, like purging all the bad juju from her body through bodily excretions. So, she went and changed into a sports bra and yoga shorts and grabbed a beach towel. She hadn’t thought to bring a yoga mat and there weren’t any already in the house, but the grass outside was plush enough and the landscape was even, so it wasn���t really necessary.

People were milling about in the kitchen, preparing themselves dinner and just hanging out when Sia walked past. Harry was sat at one of the barstools at the counter, eating baby carrots out of a platter that was placed towards the center of the counter. He caught sight of Sia and perked his head up when he saw her with a towel but not in a bathing suit.

“Where yeh going?” he asked her, gently catching her attention with a hand on her shoulder as she got close to him. She looked like she was pretty deep in her own thoughts, and Harry didn’t want to frighten her.

“Gonna go do some yoga outside. Wanna join me?” Sia wasn’t sure what part of her brain allowed her invitation to slip past her lips, since she wasn’t really used to inviting Harry into her life anymore, but she realised just a second later that she really wanted the company then. Mitch didn’t really strike her as the yoga type, so Harry was her best bet.

“Sure, lemme change. I’ll meet yeh out there,” he agreed easily. He was really glad Sia was being so accepting of their new agreement. He was really hoping they could be friends again. He knew it would never be like it used to before they started their romantic relationship, but at least he would have his childhood friend back.

Sia didn’t have to wait long before Harry joined her outside, laying out his own beach towel beside hers.

“I’m just going easy today, so don’t get any ideas about that crazy shit you like to try,” Sia warned him, softening her statement with a light laugh. Back when they were still dating, Harry liked to talk Sia into trying some crazy acrobatic type yoga that didn’t always go well. They had to lay out several mats when Sia agreed to that, and she wasn’t willing to try anything similar on the grass.

Harry chuckled and flopped down onto his back on the towel. “Wouldn’t try that out here. Floor’s too hard. I’m okay with going easy.”

So, together, just like they’d done so many times before, Harry and Sia went through the motions of a thirty minute, breezy yoga routine. Harry would call out a pose every thirty seconds or so, and they both would arrange themselves into perfect forms. It was the quiet, centering activity that Sia needed after all that had happened that weekend, and she was glad to see that she could relax so much in Harry’s presence, to the point that she nearly fell asleep when they went into child’s pose at the very end to wind down. Even though their movie night before had been relaxing in its own right, this was different. This was something Harry had introduced her to when he’d first started touring, and it was something that they’d always done together. They grew together in their abilities and enjoyed taking the time out of their days together to do this. It gave Sia hope that she was getting closer to being able to confess everything to Harry.

It wasn’t happening any time soon, but she was working toward it. And for that, she was proud. She’d have to tell her therapist the good news.

[hippocrates460]

Click the read more for the full text! Holland’s Magazine 

When A Woman Is Not Married

A Message from a Contented Spinster to Other Women Are Partly and Might Be Altogether as She Is

I have just been reading the notice of another of those magazine “open forums” – or is it for a? – for the discussion of the question: “Why I Did Not Marry.” And I shudder when I think of the oft-garnered crop of soul-revealing letters that will presently advertise to the world how many blighted beings of my own sex think they have made an abject failure of life because they did not marry when they could; how many others couldn’t marry though they would; and how many others are still longing for light on the dark subject, “How to Get Married When Single,” so as to avoid the aforesaid blighted and desolate existence: It seems to me it is high time for somebody to come forward and reveal the fact that – in spite of so much epistolary evidence to the contrary – there are such things as contented spinsters in this world! And more desirable still that someone should beg those lamenting spinsters to remove their harps from the willows, “think of their mercies,” and let the law of compensation get in its happy work.  And someway I flatter myself that I am the proper person to do both these things. To begin with, I’m a spinster – the family Bible reveals that fact unblushingly – tell-tale that it is! -  and so does the numeral of my college class.  And I am a contented spinster – thank Heaven! – and for good and sufficient reasons. First of all: I support myself by work which I thoroughly enjoy. I didn’t fall into it, either. I tried things out until I found my “job” like the funny private in Ian Hay’s “First Hundred Thousand” who finally magnified the office of first assistant to the official chiropodist. And I firmly believe that everyone, married or single, has got to find her real every-day happiness in her “job” or she won’t find it at all. Let me hasten to avert a storm of protest by adding that the job may be home-making, of course. Secondly, I have no regrets over the men whom I might have married and didn’t – I fancy that we regard each other with equal satisfaction as we tabulate the marks which Father Time has set upon our respective persons, habits and manners. And it amused me no little to have their wives look at me commiseratingly and say: “Really I cannot understand why you never married! Men are so blind!” (This is supposed to be a compliment!) Personally, if I were a married woman I’d never dare to say that to any old friend of my husband’s. Still, after all, why not? Let the spinsters enjoy their innocent sense of humor. Maybe that is why they are spinsters. Who knows? Thirdly, there isn’t a man in my acquaintance that I would marry if he asked me tomorrow. Since I’m writing under the shield of anonymity, nobody can mistake this for a dare. This doesn’t mean either that I underestimate the charms of an “ideally happy” marriage. I’m not so foolish as that. Everybody of sense knows that an “ideal” marriage is the happiest possible life for a woman – or a man either. But not having that is nothing to break your heart over, dear but melancholy sister. How many ideal marriages do you know, anyway? I myself have an unusually wide acquaintance, in various cities, and I know two – possibly three, I’m not quite sure. (Let me interpolate right here, that if any of my married friends guess who wrote this and ask me who the two are, I shall throw truth straight into the discard and say to each and every one: “Yours, of course, dear, for one, but I refuse to tell about the other.”) The percentage then seems to be about as small as the percentage of geniuses. And very few people allow their lives to be blighted because they are not geniuses. 

Putting the question of the ideal marriage aside, then, and the problem of those people who are definitely in love with somebody who doesn’t reciprocate – poor dears! – may I say a word to those people who are merely in love with matrimony and wail because they have missed it. They are the people to whom I long to say “Brace up” and “Look for the compensations.” For it’s pretty foolish, isn’t it, to consider your life spoiled and a failure because you haven’t made a perfectly ordinary marriage with just any ordinary man with whom you’re not at present in love? Think of it! Aren’t there plenty of compensations for that? Brace up and look for them! Or if you can’t quite consider them compensations, call them “the advantages of your disadvantages.” First of all – you’d think I was an old time person, wouldn’t you – there’s that question of supreme importance: your “job.” If you were married, you’d probably be tied down to housekeeping and child-tending, whether you were fitted for it or not. Now you are free to try your hand at any one of the fascinating jobs opening up for women, until you can find the one which means the happiness of self-expression for you. Secondly – and following directly from the first – the compensation of having your own money to spend as you choose. Oh yes, I know there’s a popular theory that most men give their wives an allowance now-a-days. It’s a delusion! They don’t – not the rank and file of men. And were discussing not the ideal husband, you know, but the average one. Just casually bring up the subject of Easter hats, for instance, in any group of women, and note how many of them tell how they went to work to wheedle a certain one out of “Himself”; and how many others laugh over “big rows” when the bills come in – “only it was worth it.” And wouldn’t you hate that? Wouldn’t you rather spend your own small salary as you liked than have a great deal more that you had to coax for and explain about? And (thirdly) your friendships. Think of the nice men friends you can have, because there is no jealous husband to object. Think of the way you can keep up with your old friends of your own sex. I make wonderful long visits every year to some of my old school and college friends – visits which no married woman could possibly make; and I know they broaden and enrich my life to a wonderful degree. 

And aside from visiting, theres travel. I adore it. Don’t you? Just getting on a train to go to some new place gives me a thrill; and as to automobile trips – there’s nothing like them! But what ordinary mother of a family can gallivant like that? To say nothing of leaving Himself. I have deadfully strict notions, you see, of how a wife should stand by her husband. So have most of us spinsters. And then there’s reading. I love to read. A new book in the house is a constant siren-call from duty. And now if I want to be so foolish as to stay up late and finish it, there’s nobody who has the right to be annoyed. A charming married friend vame to visit me the other day and exclaimed with delight over the reading light by the side of the guest-room bed. “Don’t be alarmed if you see that light burning at all hours,” she cried. “I adore to read in bed and Ive not been able to do it since I was married.” A small compensation for the loss of home and husband, you say. True, but don’t forget that every little bit counts in the big sum of content. There’s another kind of amusement too. Now I personally loathe to go to vaudeville shows. Most husbands – to put it mildly – do not. And average husbands have a way of bringing home tickets for the things they themselves like. And it’s a very unusual one who buys seats for Grand Opera of his own volition. “But,” you mourn, “I’m lonely!” So are plenty of widows, and wives too – unfortunately. And a lonely spinster can frankly admit it and start right out for company and consolation without having to explain why and apologize for John’s absence. And as to children – of course that point is bound to come up – most spinsters look at children as well as matrimony through a rosy haze. All children are not assets, by any means. Some of them are liabilities. And anyway, if you are sport enough to chance the liabilities, why there are plenty of nice children to adopt – especially now. And the most doting mother that I know is a spinster with an adopted baby. She lies awake nights “just to hear it breathe!” Yes she does, she says so! So, as I said before: Brace up and count your mercies! You probably have more than I have – different ones anyway. There are no end of good things in life besides husbands. Remember the oft-quoted remark of the old mammy about “the single life being the happiest of all – once you quit struggling.” It’s funny, but there’s a great deal of truth in it.

[greengargouille]

So like I've been scrolling through some of your Ass Class stuff because your posts are neat, and I kept seeing villain posts mixed with your 3-E posts, which made me think of a weird question: If we ignore the fact the villains did bad things to the Class E characters, like if we have an AU without Takaoka punching kids or Gakuhou enforcing unfair rules, who do you think each student would get along with most? You don't have to do all the students, just maybe a few of your favorites!

Aww, thank you Anon for this sweet message! And for your patience because I sure took my sweet time writing this. Also it’s going to be long. Be warned.

To be honest… I’m not sure how to tackle this question. If Gakuho don’t enforce unfair rules, then class E as it is can’t exist, ie no separate building, no ‘only one teacher for all of them’, no exclusion from club activities. Which means the story of AC can’t exist, as Korosensei’s presence would be found in like… three days. And without Korosensei around, you don’t have Shiro, Takaoka or Nidaime. Which is kinda a problem if we want them interacting.

So, for this, let’s just ignore all the reasons all those villains would or would not interact with class E students. They’re just… here, I suppose.

Now, let’s go on and define who do I include as villains. Of course, we have the main four, Gakuho, Yanagisawa ie Shiro, Takaoka, and 2nd gen God of Death aka Nidaime. But… should we include every antagonist? I’m sure you will agree that Gakushuu and the other Virtuosos, while big rivals, don’t really count as ‘villains’. Nagisa’s mother? She’s certainly a villain, and actually my current favorite of the lot, but also she doesn’t have enough development to really see how she would act without the abuse. The three hitmen? End up being friendly in a way, if you include then you must also include Irina, Itona and Kayano to the villain lists, so no, they’re antagonists. Then I guess there’s Houjo or that random soldier in the anime, but nobody care about them. You might as well talk about Kunudon instead. Is that your true goal, Anon. Make me talk about Kunudon. Right, I thought so. Let’s just talk about the main four instead.

Before we go into which student would have who of the four as a favourite, we need to understand how would they interact with them without punches, kidnappings and all that.

Gakuho is probably the easiest to imagine, from his flashback personality and his post-assassination attempt moments. A cordial man who have his students’ interests at heart, able to speak about many subjects (and might brag a little about that), but have a few tricks up his sleeve to get them to study (like how Ikeda had one daily chance to defeat him every day), or just casually insert learning opportunities in conversation (the way he suddenly ask Terasaka how much chances Korosensei had to win). Frankly, the only students who would have a problem with him are probably the Terasaka gang, as they aren’t fond of authority figures, and Takebayashi, who don’t dislike authority figures so much as would feel a lot of pressure in interacting properly and leaving a good impression. Strangely enough, I feel like Karma would get along very well with him, as Gakuho would probably take him seriously and try to find challenges to nurture his potential. Plus, Gakushuu would be so annoyed that those two get along, it would be hilarious.

Now, the whole “have plenty of talents and can probably talk about various subjects (and is proud of it)” is also something you will find in Nidaime, but as for interactions, he would have no interest in teaching the class E students, nor is he in a position above them (as far as they’re concerned), so it would be way more casual. I’m not sure he would actually care much about them, without the whole assassination thing- it would be more of a business relationship, and just him being cordial whenever they happen to pass by, as part of his persona of the kind neighbourhood florist. He might end up having discussions with them on the subject of flowers or plants in general, which would certainly interest Kurahashi and Kanzaki (a former Ikebana club member), and maybe money-related subject (how to save money, how to make people pay more…) which Isogai would be really invested in.

Now, on someone who actually wants to teach but of a completely different character, we have Takaoka. Even without the punching, kicking, and all the physical violence, he’s a very tactile guy. Pat on the shoulders, slap on the backs, pulling someone almost like an hug… He’s also a loud and very enthusiastic guy. This kind of overbearing personality can be really divisive, you either like it or hate it but it’s hard to stay indifferent. Mostly he will make the shyer, calmer ones a bit uneasy, while people like Sugino or Okano would probably really be into it? And also, he buys lot of sweets. Which is automatically an A+ for the sweet alliance club (aka Hara, Kurahashi, Fuwa and Kayano).Which leave us with Yanagisawa. Which is a really tough case, as I just don’t see him interacting with children or teenagers more than he have to, and even less than that. Too emotional, too stupid for him. Plus, Yanagisawa… even taking into account that the whole tentacle experiment must have been a really stressful/tiring time, and that he was in a superior hierarchical position to everyone else in the lab… in the flashbacks, he was kind of a jerk. And I see him as one that lack the self-awareness that he’s a jerk, which make it really troublesome to interact with him. Sure, he can be a pleasant person whenever he wants to (as Akari explains to her big sis, ‘he looks fine on the outside’)- but why would he want to be pleasant to a bunch of 14 year olds who don’t have anything to bring him? (Or at least in this AU- this is why Anon’s question is tricky, as in a Korosensei setting it might happen differently).However… despite this, I feel a few students could still approach him.Okuda, without a doubt, as her fascination with science surpass any apprehension she could have to any potential hostility. She is a girl that stepped out of her comfort zone plenty of times, and she doesn’t seems to care about past reputations, if we consider her friendship with Karma? So, surely, she would certainly find the courage to ask questions about Yanagisawa’s work, because it must be so interesting. Plus, for all the disdain he can have, I don’t feel like Yanagisawa would be one to mock a particular science subject (for example, physicists that downplay how hard chemistry is), as the whole tentacle thing touched on both physics, biology and probably chemistry? So, really, as long as Okuda don’t try to ask for an internship under him she would probably actually appreciate him.Takebayashi… would probably respect Yanagisawa’s achievements, but I don’t see him going out of his way to interact with him. Mostly, if he pass by and the conversation peek his interest, he might end up exchanging.

Then we have Yanagisawa’s other interests. We do see him do magic tricks, notably some with doves. He also play with a rat in some chapter that he absolutely did not eat, what the heck Matsui, that was so…. So there are chances Kurahashi might just coo at the birds and find a common subject to talk about, pet raising and maybe insects? I could see Yanagisawa appreciating entomology.Another thing he seems to like is mangas- or at least the WSJ he’s seen reading. So, of course Fuwa have ignored all her previous assessments of the man just so she could talk about the latest chapter of whatever is trending. And Yanagisawa is sure to have very different point of views from her, so it’s bound to be interesting! How many times do you bet he actually root for the antagonist and defend the villain’s side. Or point out how stupid a plot point is. Or how science don’t work that way.

So! With that in mind, here are a list of which student would get along best with which villain, in this strange AU where they’re just here and not doing anything villainous; an incomplete list, as I only put the cases I felt really sure about:

Karma would, surprisingly, be partial to Gakuho? Because he’s paying attention to his students and also one who would actually try to challenge Karma intellectually. Plus, he likes to brag about his own son, and that’s just free teasing material against Gakushuu. What’s not to love about this situation.

Isogai would probably like Nidaime more. All the good advices for money savings and how to get a good relation with one’s clients that he could reuse as a waiter. 

Okano and Kimura, I’m replying for them together because it’s a similar reasoning. They’re both physical, simple people, which I feel would get along more easily with Takaoka.

Okuda’s favorite would probably be Yanagisawa, at the surprise of most in the class, because really, how interested in science is she to ignore his unpleasant attitude, but most of it goes over her head in the first place.

Kanzaki… probably Nidaime due to her club, as mentioned earlier? And then it is revealed that, among all prizes and titles the Chairman got, he also won some video game competition that just make Kanzaki wants to challenge him.

Kurahashi is the girl that get along with everyone because she’s just like that. Incredible.

Sugino’s easy, he’s an enthusiastic guy who get easily friendly with people and who put a lot of efforts toward his sport of predilection, so he would probably go along well with Takaoka.

Takebayashi could go either with Yanagisawa or Nidaime, which is funny since they’re not really alike, but then that’s often the case with Takeban, isn’t it? Model student, with a good understanding of science and a respect of high achievements (but that would probably feel too pressured talking with the Chairman of his school), but also one that want to trace his own path and might be more dangerous than one might think at first. 

Nakamura likes to be silly and want to have fun, so it might seems she would be partial to Takaoka, but I’m not sure she wouldn’t appreciate Nidaime more? More… mischievous, I guess.

Maehara… oh god, wouldn’t that be really ironic if his favorite was Takaoka? I mean, Maehara’s a bright young guy that was in the soccer club, and also pulled some nice dance moves in Korotan D, wasn’t he? But then, being around someone like Nidaime would be a real lesson on how to seduce the ladies and gentlemen too

…As you can see, I’m missing a lot of people on the list because I’m not sure what to think of them. Terasaka’s gang, for example, would probably not get along with Gakuho because he’s a symbol of authority, and neither would they appreciate someone like Yanagisawa; but would they actually get along with Takaoka, who’s someone uncomplicated, and also a physical kind of guy, but at the same time one who ask people to be really invested in their activities? Even for Hazama I’m not sure; she does stay around the rest of the gang, so it’s not like she feels uncomfortable with those kind of people. Plus, the whole enthusiastic thing, as one can see with Kurahashi that it exaust Hazama (well, starve her from her darkness) but at the same time, ‘They say that darkness is drawn to the light… ‘

In fact, on the subject of Takaoka, as I said he’s really divisive, and on the ones not on the list, I feel he probably wouldn’t be a favorite of the less social ones like Chiba, Hayami or Sugaya. Given Mimura’s awkward face in some panels I would say he would have an hard time, too. And I don’t really see them get along with Yanagisawa, so really, it’s a matter of chosing between Gakuho and Nidaime, and I can’t really tell which one they would chose.

Hara, on the contrary, is one that’s ‘good at handling the boys’ and is part of the sweet alliance, but would that be enough for her to choose Takaoka over one of the other not-villains?

…And I still have no idea for Kataoka. Neither for Fuwa- I evoked earlier she had a common ground to speak to Yanagisawa but that just mean I don’t exclude him, so I have even less of an idea what she would do. I absolutely don’t know about Okajima either- Gakuho probably knows about photography because he knows about everything, but he would probably be jugemental of Okajima’s other hobbies. Well, I guess Nidaime would be great at photography too that’s a basic spy/recon skill, gotta have that blackmail material. And Yada? I feel like she would appreciate Nidaime more but I don’t really have a basis for it?

Akari-Kayano, too, she could go a lot of ways- except one because her ex-brother-in-law is totally her unfavorite, for reasons that might all not be all that objective.

…Who’s Nagisa. Now you’re just inventing students.

[fyrapartnersearch]

A chance meeting.


Greetings to you again my fellow drifters and roleplayers ～ I hope to catch some flies with some honey. I would like to post my ad once more with a more specific request / intent in mind. You may call me Aylo. I am specifically searching for partners who sport the same interests, passion and dedication as me. Regarding myself I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you wish to know more about me, feel free to ask me through email. Age: 20+ years Gender: Female Occupation: Full time student with a side job Timezone: CET 
Experience: 11 years If you wish to get in touch with me, here’s my email for contact :)

EMAIL: aylosreverie@gmail.com

What I’m looking for in a partner: If you write to me, tell me about yourself, particularise what you would like to do, where your interests lie in and how far you will go limit-wise. To be clear, I will accept 20+ partners only! I am sure there are roleplayers below that age who are wonderful writers, however due to legality issues and the age difference, it would feel awkward… Sorry ;__;


This will be a mature themed RP and that means it will include very heavy topics that may not be for the faint of heart. So be sure to read every word carefully before you message me, because these kinds of misunderstandings can be easily avoided. I am currently on the hunt for a literate, erudite and witty writer with a creative mindset who can cross the line with me. I don’t care what gender you are or what your timezone is, as long as we correspond well, we should be fine.

Also to note, I am looking for a longterm and dependable partner. If you are not sure if you can fulfil either of these, feel free to scroll past my ad! It won’t be held it against you ^^
 Platforms I prefer to write on are: 

Email and Google Docs. I try to get myself a Discord as soon as I get a new PC. How to I write, my limits and preferences. Be sure to read them carefully:

Cravings: What I crave at the most, almost always, is the topic of supernatural and urban fantasy. Though I can be persuaded to go more into pop culture (like superheroes or crime). Personally what I would like go for is an original story or anything fandom related that I have listed down below. If you are not sure which I am open to do at the moment, feel free to scroll down and see for yourself if we’re compatible or not. Although I am versatile when it comes to genres, I am only currently seeking someone who would rather do something more supernatural inspired, including demons, spirits, monsters, gods and angels. I do have a few ideas in my repertoires that I would like to pitch, but I prefer to talking to my partner first before setting anything in stone. Interests: My line of interests are very electric when it comes to genres. I love conceiving my own lore inside a stories, be it an original or a pre-existing story. Gothic fantasy among others are one of my favourites. I am not opposed to tapping into science fiction, conspiracies, intrigue, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, in fact I encourage it. Inspirations for me are Lovecraft, The Tudors, Gotham, Hellsing, Blade, Underworld, etc. As for the fandom inspired RPs, I am more than willing to bend some rules and be a little indulgent. Writing: 3rd person perspective. My writing is expansive and flexible, which means that frequently, word count will go up 1000+ per reply - though it highly depends on the situation and partner I write with. Quality over quantity as they say - but why not both? I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in knowledgeable writing. I also double! (preferably, but we can always discuss whether it makes sense for our roleplay our not.) When I double, mostly I would like to do it in fandom roleplays. Originals are a different matter. World building & plot: You should be active and help me shape the world around our characters. Even if we discuss many things during and before the roleplay, how we wish for things to play out and take its course, I am always happy to be surprised with a secret of my partner’s character I didn’t know before. You don’t need to lay out all your cards on the table… keep it a little mysterious and suspenseful. Just enough so we can work with the ideas, but not completely kill off the suspense.

Characters: I write canon as well as OC characters. Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely sufficient. Whatever floats your boat when it comes to visualising your character and their backstory, I’m on board. Characters should be flawed, unique, talented, heroic, villainous, spiteful, angry, and everything in-between. In other words, don’t be scared of making them ‘human’, even when they are non-human. Romance: Openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might be more savvy in this one. If the chemistry of two characters compel me, I will ship them no matter what! Classic fangirl shipper here! Ayo, where my shippers at? 
When it comes to sexual scenarios and intimacy (intercourse, foreplay, all that jazz) I will not fade to black. I encourage erotism, but in a tasteful manner (that goes for romance as well). The passion must be felt through the screen, even if its just an description of someone’s deep train of thought. Content: Drama, violence, sex, metamorphosis, horror, symbolism, action, romance, pretty much everything is a-okay. I am unbothered by certain subjects that may or may not be uncomfortable for the general public. Roleplays are fictional stories and we best keep viewing them as such. If there are things you are uncomfortable with, name them and I shall respect those boundaries. But don’t be surprised when suddenly one of our characters bites the dust, or gets tortured. It may be difficult to write and read, but it is all part of the story and furthering the plot. My roleplays imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture as well as other things. But I also endorse beauty, serenity and placid moments, scenes or characters. I love it when it comes full circle… everyone- and everything has their beautiful and hideous side. Both should be embraced. Communication: OOC-chat friendly! I love meeting new people and making potential friends. Plus it strengthens the compatibility between us. Communication is the alpha and the omega. If there is something that bothers you, or if you think you are left out in some way (be it a mistake on my part or we’re both at fault here), don’t be scared of telling me. Really, it won’t be taken personally - since I know that we slip up every now and then, we’re only human after all. It is also completely sufficient if you only type out a few messages per week. I am super chill about it. It doesn’t bother me re-writing a scene to fit the narrative more. If there are mistakes, they can be corrected - just to get that out there. We can always exchange opinions and see what would benefit the story most. I will also voice my opinion should something arise that could be bothersome. World building & plotting: An active roleplayer is wanted without a doubt. Can’t do the thinking for two now. Let’s row this boat together Limits: My only limits are pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia , pedophilia, scat, furries and some other bizarre fetishes. Also no one-liners or text-talk messages. The sentences have to be cohesive, coherent and somewhat structured. On my shipping list, the ones that are marked in bold are the ones I am craving at the most right now!


Shipping list:

Corrupted x Innocent

Demon x Human

Devil x Human

Cop x Criminal

Bully x Bullied

Bad boy (delinquent) x Good girl (or the other way around)

Mentor x Apprentice

Angel x Human

Angel x Demon

Vampire x Human


Bureaucrat x Soldier

Scientist / Doctor x Patient / Experiment

Vampire x Vampire

Vampire x Dhampire

Noble x Peasant / Regular citizen

Vampire x Werewolf

Werewolf x Human

Monster x Human

Hybrid x Hybrid

Hybrid x Human

Hybrid x Full fledged (whatever it may be)

Dominant male x Dominant female (or other genders)

Etc.


Fandom list:


Films:

Marvel cinematic universe

DC (preferably the comics or animated films / shows)

Alita Battle Angel
Riverdale

Harry Potter (Next gen)


Animated:


Castlevania

Hellsing

Voltron

Fate Stay Night / Fate Zero


Comics:


Justice League (also Dark)


Teen Titans

The Darkness

Witchblade

Loki - Tales of Asgard

X Men



Looking forward to talking to you ～ Adios

[alj4890]

Chapter 42 Confusion and Consolation

The Royal Romance Fan Fiction (Liam x MC*Riley) (Maxwell x OC*Amanda) (Drake x Olivia) (Hana x Rashad)

These characters are from the amazing writers of Pixelberry's Choices stories: The Royal Romance and Red Carpet Diaries. The only character of my own is Duchess Amanda Bridgerton of House St Orella.

Masterlist of The Other Friend TRR

Chapter 42 summary: Olivia and Amanda meet with Sir Francis to discuss Olivia's marriage contract. Maxwell and Drake run into Bertrand. Liam and Riley rush to the hospital to see Constantine.

Chapter 42

"So, what you are saying is that I do not have to marry this Justin?" Olivia asked.

Sir Francis removed his glasses as he focused on the duchess. "Your grace, according to the requirements in this contract, you do not have to neccessarily marry this particular young man. There are stipulations though that many of the young men possess."

"What are these stipulations?"

"The man must be worthy of the Nevarkis name. He must be either titled or wealthy. Justin Anton Severus comes from a wealthy family. His mother has a minor title. From what I gathered from your aunt, this was why he was chosen. He is an only child like you and will inherit his family's entire fortune."

Amanda glanced at Olivia's face, furrowed in confusion. "Sir Francis, are you saying that she cannot marry someone, like a commoner?"

Olivia snapped her head at Amanda, shocked at her for asking.

"That is correct, your grace. The man she chooses must meet at least one of these requirements."

"Is there a possibility to overturn it? Could the king do something about this?" Amanda persisted.

Sir Francis sadly shook his head. "I'm afraid, due to past history with the Nevarkis family and the crown, that King Liam can not dissolve this contract."

Amanda sat back thinking, defeated by his words. What about Drake? He had no title. He had no fortune. Surely there was something they could do to make this right. Somewhere, somehow, there had to be a way around this. She had seen the bond forming between the prickly pair. It needed to continue.

Olivia felt an anger unlike any other at her ancestors. She was having to pay for their stubborn, ridiculous ways. She was exhausted from having to fix past problems. Her parents had nearly run the duchy into the ground. Her aunt had abandoned her and the family's land, yet now felt the right to push her into marriage. She was sick of it all.

Sir Francis was sympathetic to Olivia's plight. "If you have any more questions, Lady Olivia, please do not hesitate to call upon me." With a bow to both ladies, he left the room.

Olivia began to pace as she tried to come to terms with the contract.

Amanda watched her, knowing the frustration of realizing you have no choice. "I know it looks like your trapped, but I believe we can find--"

Olivia snapped. "Spare me your positive thinking speech, Amanda! You at least were given the man you wanted in the end. You had him in the beginning too. There is nothing that can be done. It doesn't matter anyway. It's not like I'm in love with anyone or have any promises I need to worry about."

Amanda stood and hugged her. Olivia struggled a moment then clutched her as she cried. She let the tears take out all those ridiculous dreams she had held close to her heart. She let them take the loneliness and frustration. Why could she not catch a break? Had she not been through enough?

Maxwell and Drake were downstairs in the hotel's restaurant waiting on Olivia and Amanda to finish their meeting. As they were talking, Bertrand came up to their table.

"Maxwell!" he exclaimed. "How dare you go to Savannah and encourage her back to Cordonia! I had hoped that there was one last shred of loyalty to your family's name. I see now how greatly mistaken I was. Do you realize the situation you are creating for me and Madeleine? When people learn of that child's existence, it will ruin us."

Drake shot out of his chair and punched Bertrand in the jaw. Bertrand fell back a couple of steps, then threw an uppercut followed by another punch to Drake's eye. Maxwell jumped between them pushing them apart.

"That's enough! Bertrand, I will see my nephew. Just because you refuse to claim him, it doesn't mean that I will go along with it. You have no right to keep Savannah out of Cordonia. Now I suggest you leave. We have nothing to say to each other." Maxwell turned to go back to his table.

"I should have known this was a pointless endeavor. After you married that Hollywood harlot of a duchess, you've ---"

Maxwell whirled and launched himself at his brother. He knocked him into a table, crashing to the ground. He rammed his fists into Bertrand's face in quick succession. Drake ran over and pulled him off of him. "You stay away from me, my wife, my nephew, and Savannah! If I see you even look in their direction I will shove your head so far up your own ass that there isn't a protologist in the world that will be able to help you." Maxwell was breathing hard and struggling against Drake holding him back.

Bertrand pulled himself up, wiping the blood from his face, and stumbled from the restaurant without another word.

Drake started laughing. "No protologist in the world. Really?" He was snorting now with his laughter. Maxwell let out a burst of laughter. "I don't know where that came from." Amanda and Olivia found them laughing and sporting ice packs.

"What happened?!" Amanda rushed over and looked at the bruises on Maxwell's face and hands. She moved the ice pack to see the cut above his eyebrow. Olivia gently touched Drake's jaw and the darkening bruise.

"Hmm. Uppercut, followed by jab." she muttered. Drake's eyes widened. "Yeah. How did you know?" Olivia smirked. "I'm a Nevarkis. I know all types of fighting styles and the resulting marks they leave behind.

Drake grinned. He watched her as she examined his knuckles. She was being very kind. He could see the redness of her eyes. He felt his heart sink. It must have been bad news in the meeting. He wondered if she would tell him about it.

"Who were you fighting?" Amanda asked.

Maxwell glanced at Drake. "We had a difference of opinion with Bertrand."

Drake snorted. "A big difference of opinion."

"You mean, you two lost a fight to Bertrand?" Amanda asked in disbelief.

"What! No! He definitely walked off with more bruises and blood." Drake exclaimed

"Yeah, the cut over my eye was from knocking him into the table. It must have caught me too." Maxwell touched the area around the cut.

"Why were you not thrown out of the restaurant?"

Drake chuckled. "Apparently Bertrand got on the manager's bad side here. He actually gave us free drinks while we waited on you."

Amanda shook her head at the two of them. "Now tell me why were you fighting."

Maxwell stared at the table. "He said some things that he should not have and we expressed our not liking them."

"Couldn't have said it better." Drake clinked his glass against Maxwell's.

"Good. He has needed to be knocked off his high horse for a while now." Olivia waved the waiter over to their table. Everyone placed their orders. Amanda sat there silently, listening to them talk around the subjects that they were all interested in.

Finally, Drake asked Olivia about the meeting. "Are you stuck? Will you have to marry Justin?"

Olivia froze for a moment. "I don't have to marry Justin, but I am stuck with stipulations."

Maxwell looked at her and Amanda. "What are they?"

Olivia continued to pick at her food. She glanced at Amanda, silently asking her to explain.

"Olivia has to marry someone who either has a title or a fortune. Liam will not be able to dissolve it, due to some ancient agreement made by her ancestors." Amanda said softly.

Drake felt like he had been punched in the gut. He did not know why it would hurt like it did. It wasn't like he was in love with her. Right? They had made no promises or plans for the future. It was just nice. Which was weird. They seemed to fit well together. Camaraderie. That's what it was. No heart stuff involved at all.

Olivia glanced at his face. He looked shocked. Did he feel it as acutely as she did? Did he wonder why it hurt like this? There was no reason for it...was there? She stood up and told them all she needed to be alone for a while. She promised to see them later at dinner. As she walked to the elevator, she knew she needed to think about her future. Whatever that could be. The only thing Olivia knew for certain, was that she needed some space from Drake.

Liam and Riley were facing their own trial. Constantine had been unable to breathe and had been rushed to the hospital. A frantic Regina had called them, begging them to come. Riley knew how difficult it was for Liam to play the doting son after all his father's words and actions.

She laced her fingers through his as they sat in a private waiting room. Liam squeezed her hand. Thankfulness did not begin to touch on how he felt having Riley with him during this time. Liam could not imagine having to face this alone. When the doctor came in to tell him he could see his father, she wrapped her arm around him and walked beside him.

Liam took a deep breath and walked into the room. Constantine was laying very still. The beeping of the machines was the only sounds in the room. He turned his head to look at them. "You did not have to come, Liam."

"Regina asked me to. How are you?"

Constantine shrugged. "Dying. Slowly, but still dying."

Liam nodded. He honestly had no idea what to say to this man. Riley asked Constantine if there was anything she could do for him. He began a fit of coughing, while telling her no. "I only require rest."

"Then we will leave you to it." Liam placed his hand on Riley's back to leave. He opened the door for her and began to follow her out, when Constantine asked to speak to him alone. Riley kissed Liam's cheek and stepped out of the room.

He turned back to his father, waiting on him to break the silence. Constantine coughed. "How are your friends?"

Liam glared at him. "I know what you have been doing to them. It ends now. As your King, I am commanding you to cease your schemes."

Constantine returned his glare. "Just like you you followed your king's orders?"

Liam refused to back down. "My friends did nothing wrong. They do not deserve whatever torment you have planned."

Constantine let out a bitter laugh. "Disobeying one's monarch leads to repercussions. You will see that one day. Drake, Maxwell, and Amanda will learn their lesson. You will be forced to watch it all."

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