hippocrates460

[hippocrates460]

posted on Kate Bornstein's substack

[hippocrates460]

tipsy girl at the club is a kind of paladin

[hippocrates460]

[hippocrates460]

Figure, curled - Heather Horton  , 2024.

Canadian , b. 1974 -

Oil on canvas, 36 x 36 in.

[hippocrates460]

becoming president just to put lumen, decibel, and size restrictions on vehicles.

[hippocrates460]

Search is turning up nothing, but that's Tumblr even if there is something, so:

Have I told you guys about my many adventures with the brothel massage parlour around the corner from my house yet?

[hippocrates460]

https://twitter.com/coff33detective/status/1271463582312673281

“make yourselves impossible to ignore. 10,000 signatures on twitter is a lot but 10 unique personal emails is enough to derail an entire council session.”

[hippocrates460]

Someone at an old job asked why I wanted to write up the meeting minutes for our team and I said 'i wanna control the narrative' and they were like 'what' and I pointed out that no one was gonna remember what we said in six months and so my interpretation of the meeting would dictate the assumed reality of what happened

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"

That's how several coworkers decided I was a supervillain and how I learned several coworkers didn't understand record keeping as like a CONCEPT

[hippocrates460]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[hippocrates460]

i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

[hippocrates460]

Mohammed Sami (Iraqi, 1984), Displacement, 2017. Acrylic on linen. 52 x 80.5 cm. UK Government Art Collection, London

[hippocrates460]

i like the genre of animal photos where you can tell they just dipped their face into a carcass and they dont even care (artistic interpretation)

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HELLO???????

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who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[hippocrates460]

I think my favorite jokes are the ones that weren’t even all that funny until I was an adult, and now they’re fucking hilarious. I’m not even talking about the dirty jokes. I’m talking about in Finding Nemo where the sharks are having fucking AA for fish eating. Remember that shit? “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.” Who ever thought of that? That was brilliant. Or what about that time in Shrek 2 where Shrek and Donkey infiltrate the castle pretending to be union workers? Little me didn’t give a shit about unions but big me is remembering Shrek going “It’s okay buddy, we’re from the union” and the desk worker secretively “we don’t even have dental,” and Shrek just shakes his head and looks at Donkey like he can’t believe this shit and goes, “They don’t even have dental.” What the fuck. I’m dying of laughter. Who comes up with this shit.

[hippocrates460]

Stupider things have been done in the name of lesbianism. Don't forget that.