#these curated links are mostly for my own reference

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello, please don't take it bad because, through the question maybe the tone can be a bit weird also I know you talked about it hundred of times.

But as a Loumand enjoyer and someone who take them for what they were,creepy,toxic, unbalanced but also beautiful because i like good chemistry and no one can deny their good chemistry right? Jacob and Assad were beautiful together.

What i don't understand is why,i keep seeing from most of the fandom the reasons they don't like them is because they were toxic/weird dynamic, aren't all the relationships in the VC romantic or not,toxic/weird?

I promise i didn't make a fanfic in my head,i knew from the start we were watching a divorce but they still had some on-screen good moments?

They will still be important for each other lives in the future right?

I feel like most of the vitriol i see for them (not from you) is because Loumand feels like a ''threat'' (I can't find a better word) to the existence of the two main pairings.

I don't think they were because of the dungeon scene is a proof they were never meant to be but still I'm sure some people felt threatened.There no other reason i can see.

In the future they will be other weird dynamic between other characters and i can see them receiving such a treatment.

Also I know some Loumand enjoyers are the reason we are seen as the annoying part of the fandom including myself.

All good :) (your tone is fine^^)

Tbh I haven’t seen much of what you refer to (I barely make it out of my inbox and DMs right now 🤪) but I think what you witness now is the backlash after almost two years of “Lestat is an abusive racist and we cannot wait to see Louis in a healthy, wholesome romance with a POC character and nothing of Lestat anymore“.

Like, don’t misunderstand me, I‘m not saying you did this. But this definitely happened. The show never promised Loumand to be wholesome, but since it was commented on as healthy and wholesome on the podcast many took that as fact. Pointing out book canon things were met with “anti accusations“ (even by some I would have never expected it from). Suggesting that the “tale“ might not be correct was taken as racist, and abuse apology bc the black man was “made to be a liar“. No matter the cast and writers and crew comments on this. (But I‘ve been over this in my rant, it’s linked in my bio if you want to read it, not rehashing it all now).

And that for over 1,5 years. There’s comments on my fics you wouldn’t believe. And no pointing out discrepancies, nor book canon facts made any dent into these accusations. It was always argued that the show is its own thing - and that is true - and yet they have now circled back MUCH closer to the book canon than I had actually anticipated.

So.

I get that it’s hard right now? I have said before that I see Loumand as totally valid - but for me it is mostly later on, when it’s on equal level. I think it is totally valid to enjoy them now, too, while being aware of the manipulative layers and the fucked-up dynamics:))

Ultimately… there’s not much for you to do except curate your dash. Go and block haters freely, leave those voices that you like or that disagree with you on a respectful level.

Especially for future (also rather toxic) pairings that WILL come up this will be MO. :) Fortunately tumblr has some practical tools there. ^^

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis (general "sandman meta"-tag, also contains contributions to other people's posts. You can find my own metas grouped into literary/conceptual/psychological, musical and art, and I definitely recommend perusing both links and the main tag)

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join

Sandman Fics (m/f and f/f, both OC and canon pairings) & Poems

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts. I have also grouped them into my own art and art of others). Separate tag for official Sandman artists

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I’ve worked in science/academia, creative/performing arts and mental health. I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.

[m0e-ru]

Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been reading your meta posts about Izanami and Souzai Daigaku and the like and you mention the game script often, do you have a link to the dump or to a big doc containing it? I only saw your Izanami one and it's fascinating, I'd really like to see more! I try to take screenshots of things like minor NPC dialogue but I miss a lot of stuff.

Also, while I'm here I'd like to ask, do you have a link to the Persona 4 Visualives? I know you uploaded them to your YouTube channel (and I'm very grateful 🥰) but I mean the actual files. I can only find dead torrents of them...

Either way, thank you very much for all the thoughts and reading material! #TeamIzanami

HAII HAIII HAIIII /waves violently and i trip on my feet and eat my spreadsheets/ imso happy youre here

i'd be SO HONORED to share my resources and im SO HAPPY SOMEONE'S SO INTERESTED ENOUGH TO ASK  !!!

I've gathered and curated my own resources throughout the years, and I'll be sharing the original mirrors of where I got them. Of course, if any of these links are dead, I always have my own copies so you can ask me again WAHAHA

SCRIPT DUMP

ShrineFox

https://shrinefox.com/apps/textsearch 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/113DuAlmIqb8AU4xBYNuU5FDxPP3mVX67/view 

If you're not already familiar, ShrineFox has been a mod dev in the Persona scene for a while, right now though they're working on a lot of other projects too hehe. They had this "text search" app for a while where you could find text from entire script dumps of a game they had on hand, mostly the Persona games. Right now, the app's taken down, but the whole dumps have been uploaded in this Google Drive!

The _msg files are the ones you're looking for for the text n stuff. The _flow files are for the backend behavior coding and all that. These txt files are really big too, so try opening it with a source code editor like Notepad++ or Sublime Text because it might blow up a normal writer app like Word or Writer LMAO (188K LINES??)

Also, these are really the raw text dumps. There’s a learning curve to how interpret IDs and all that but you’ll get used to it, or just hit me up!

Vanilla JP Dump

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/s7c87y07vsv0t/Game_Scripts_and_Anki_Decks 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ukDIWSkh_xvpppPbgs1nUR2kaEwFaWlsJgZUlb9LuTs/edit#gid=0 

https://www.mediafire.com/file/9mkufgtde42em6v/Persona_4.txt/file 

Here’s a transcript of the JP text of the base game, not Golden. It’s formatted plainly, without the raw code or IDs or anything, so it’s easier to read but hard to crosscheck with the ENG text from the first dump.

MOEL Backroom (my stuff)

kai's spreadsheet of spreadsheets (and other docs)

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/18X2sR-1duXGWtQtJd5mesjrVUorjvUkOiwEjXT25Lmc/edit

Here’s my (supposedly) entire directory of my documents and spreadsheets I made throughout the years! You can take a gander if something catches your eye. I also made a summary of it and more resources on my Neocities :]

https://moel-sekiyu.neocities.org/archive/resources

Steam NPC Dialogue Calendar (P4G Edition)

[disclaimer: big page!!] https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2425834890 

BIG SHOUTOUT TO STEAM GAMER TYSSERR FOR LITERALLY DOING ALL OF THIS MAN YOU ARE SO FUCKING REAL FOR THIS 🫶🫰🫶🫰🫶🫰

This is an entire guide for all the NPCs overworld in Inaba AND Okina, specifically a glossary for each NPC and when they actually show up. I wouldn’t know if this is really complete but it SURE IS comprehensive. If you can navigate the dumps right, you can reference that to figure out what their actual dialogue is and read it in context.

WEATHER CALENDAR

Vanilla Wikidot page

http://persona4.wikidot.com/schedule

P4G Spreadsheet

https://www.reddit.com/r/persona4golden/comments/w8h1fi/persona_4_golden_complete_weather_forecast/

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1iQfD_E2WhbW362puKUN_VJybjWBngUQTC2jI9CUmsLE/edit 

These are calendars that have the weather throughout the game, and the wiki one has events and other stuff too just for the base game. The spreadsheet is a weather calendar throughout P4G, you can make your own copy to annotate if you’d like!

SELF DUMP

If you see throughout my resources, I don’t really source some of them from anywhere else because I dumped the scripts myself! Especially the JP scripts and the Arena/Ultimax story modes.

There’s a lot to say about it considering I learned it while trying to crack into the games files myself and debugging mod files on my own LOL. Here’s a few Amicitia pages as a starting point, and you can ask me for anything else

MSG and BMD (and BF)

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/BMD

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/BF

These files contain text and dialogue and description etc etc. You can check these pages to see how to extract them with tools available. There are .BMD files in .BF files most of the time.

PM1 vs PM2 & PM3

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/PM1

PM1 has text, dialogue etc

PM2 & PM3 only found in main folder (JP assets, not the ENG nor KR nor CN asset folder) deals with environment, models, etc etc

VISUALIVE / the Evolution Direct Download Link

The moment everyone’s been waiting for !! Here’s a link to both Visualives and the bonus content, which I’ve already posted on my YouTube like you said. I will kill this link in a week or so for security purposes and my actual cloud storage. If you want it past this time though, you can always hit me up and ask me personally! I’m planning to properly host it one day, I’m just being thrown against the waves right now.

update: i've killed the link now. if anyone else needs it, you can always come to me personally!

aand that’s it! I’ve actually been writing this throughout the whole week whenever I have the time. Here’s as comprehensive as I’ll get, and thank you SOSOSO MUCH sticking around!!

[notsogreatpotoo]

1, 7, 13 and 17 for your ask game!

hello!! thank you for the ask friendo :]

ask game link for reference

1: favorite or funniest nicknames you've gotten

I haven't gotten a ton of nicknames that I've liked, bc usually nicknames are based off of your 'real' name and I'm closeted to most people I know irl, but one of my friends nicknamed me Emsy, and some of my friends used to call me Mouse in middle school bc I was a very wide-eyed and confused child. but I do really like nicknames when I get them :]

7: an excerpt from your funniest, weirdest, or worst essay from middle school or high school

okay so freshman year of high school, we read romeo and juliet, and i had read it before but not in an academic context and so when my teacher said we were going to write an argumentative essay on which character was to blame for the whole... situation, i was like. no. that's not the point. so i very spitefully wrote an essay that i ended up getting an A on, which was cool because it very much did not fit the prompt. here's the intro:

Placing the blame for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet has been debated for centuries. Their tragic fate leaves the audience wondering: who was most at fault? Can the blame even be fairly shifted onto only one person? In the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, two people become infatuated with each other, but their families have an ongoing feud that limits their relationship. Many characters have expectations set for the two, whether those expectations be that they should be enemies or that their love will fix the feud. They eventually take their lives as the result of a misunderstanding. However, it is clear that Romeo and Juliet’s deaths are ultimately caused by the toxic society and surroundings their own families helped create, and the arbitrary laws of society that their families enforced.

idk, i just think it's funny that younger me was like, i don't want to do this. i'm not gonna blame one character, that's not the point of the story. fuck society.

13: something you really want someone to ask you about

i could literally talk at you forever about my oc insert hunger games fic, the first part and the second part (wip) (i have three parts planned) are currently almost 46000 words and the main character is the closest thing i will ever have to a child. i've decided i'm gonna post the first chapter of it on ao3 in a few days and then figure out a regular update schedule after stuff gets straightened out (i'm moving), but if you ever want to get distracted send me an ask about literally any of it

17: government assigned ao3 tag (choose one you really like, one that seems accurate to your life, or find a generator)

one i really like: Mutual Pining

if i'm in the mood to read fics with ships, i'll find one of my fandoms and sort by mutual pining. i love these fics bc usually the complications are internal emotional complications instead of things like cheating. (note: i do not support censorship. just because i don't like reading about cheating does not mean i support censorship of that sort of reading material. curate your own experience, do not attempt to control others'.) i also like fics that have a little bit of emotional build up through pining or smthn bc it helps me get more invested :]

one that seems accurate to my life: Alternate Universe - College/University

mostly self explanatory (i'm in college and it feels like a different universe)

generator assigned tag: Historical Inaccuracy

as a History major that's hilarious

thank you again for the ask!!! :]

[tavyliasin]

Pfp and blog header image by Juiciebox_art also here: @juicieboxart

Welcome to Tavylia Sin's Tumblr

This is your guide to my content and links to all of my most relevant posts and content! Please peruse at your leisure~

I'm going to keep updated links here to my posts, sorted by topic, which honestly it's 50% just for me so I stop forgetting what I've done! Please be aware that most of my content is unsuitable for minors, but I will be marking posts as SFW or NSFW as well as even those 18+ may prefer to filter content which is completely valid, so I'd like to give you that choice. Please use the titles to skim down to what you're looking for! The list in order of appearance: - Abdirak Cameo for Chronic Pain Pals - Essays and Fandom Discussions - Community Posts and Events - AO3 FanFic Directory and About Me - Character Comfort Shorts - Drabbles and Short Fics on Tumblr - Full Chapter FanFic on Tumblr - Ask Box Responses - Other Posts/Misc Side Blogs If you'd prefer reblogs of the works grouped into types: @atavsguide has all of the ongoing longfic ATG, A Tav's Guide. @tavyliaonlyfics is home to all other fanfic and one shots. @tavyliasinessays hosts the essays and thought pieces. @sins-of-the-dragon will house any Dragon Age posts I make (less common but I love DA too) @lostplotbunniesbg3 is a place to send all of your loose fic ideas to find new homes, or to find new ideas to write your own fics.

The Declan/Abdirak Cameo for Everyone Who Suffers Chronic Pain (SFW)

This one was crowd funded by a few Abdirak fans, who tend to have a deeper understanding of pain. Please feel free to share this post to anyone who might need to hear it.

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Essays and Discussions Around Characters and Fandom

These are all deeper examinations on characters, story, fandom, and the ways we connect to those characters~

The Abdirak Essay - Fandom, Pain, and Loviatar's Love (Some Mild NSFW References)

A discussion around how Abdirak helps us to relate to pain, chronic pain, and each other, with a vague discussion around why pain can be pleasurable in kink.

Raphael - Archduke of Asexuals (Mostly SFW)

A look at how Raphael is actually a potential representative of Asexuality in the game, and how those under the Asexual umbrella relate to him - and each other - through this representation.

Villain-Fucker Angst Hours aka The Appeal of Raphael and Villains in General (Some NSFW References)

A general examination of the appeal of villains as romance options, with a focus on Raphael in particular.

The Highs and Lows of Being A Fandom Creative (SFW)

How our moods and confidence levels follow the same cycle, from starting a new work, to posting it, to feedback, and how to deal with those low points when a lack of feedback feels too painful to bear. Not BG3 exclusive, covers all kinds of creative things in any fandom.

Body Positivity and Representation in BG3 and Fandom (SFW)

A discussion - very much open to other experiences and backgrounds - around the importance of representation and the positivity that can be found in fan creations and in the game itself.

Tagging and Censoring FanWorks (NSFW)

A look at what kinds of content needs tagging and why we tag content in the first place. Also a brief discussion on censoring topics.

Curating Fandom Experience Online (Mostly SFW)

An overview of the online spaces we have access to for fandom, and how we can best look out for ourselves and each other when using them.

Beta Reading Guide for Readers and Writers (SFW)

A guide for new beta readers and writers to seek and give useful feedback in order to make fic writing the best it can be.

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Community Posts and Events

This is where you'll find events that I am hosting, or have hosted in the past.

Discord Server I own and run the creative focused fandom server: The House of Hopeful Sinners - see link post for details

Advice on setting up a Discord Server for Fandom (Based on HOHS layout and tools)

Redbubble Shop - silly items for silly people, with only 2-5% markup to keep the prices lower for you~

Active No Active Events

Past Events and Collections

April Foolishness - Comedy Smut Event (NSFW) Baldur's Date Collection NSFW (NSFW) Baldur's Date Collection SFW (SFW) TaValentine's Day Collection (NSFW) GaleCord - Gale-ntines Collection (NSFW)

GaleCord Secret Santa Collection (NFSW)

Baldur's Date Open Creative Challenge! Artists, Writers, Creators of All Kinds! (18+ Only) (But there is an SFW side of the event)

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AO3 FanFic Directory & About The Author

This has a whole lot about me, what I do, and what I aim to write, but if you'd just like the Works Directory then these are the links you need Each directory contains links to the individual works on AO3 as well as a brief summary of the piece and word count.

Carrd - Main Page and Contacts (General links and info) Carrd - Ongoing Series Directory (ATG and Scent of Cinnamon) Carrd - One Shot Directory (Standalone Stories)

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Character Comfort Shorts

Short fanfiction pieces designed to feel comforting to a reader in some way or another. Some are specific to pains (eg, Migraine) but others are more general for any suffering (physical or psychological). They're generally written in 2nd person (you/your pronouns) and are gender neutral.

Abdirak - Migraine Comfort Yurgir - Migraine Comfort Tav - General Comfort, with Audio Multi-Character Comfort Drabbles (Astarion, Halsin, Abdirak, Raphael, Haarlep, bonus from Tavylia)

Please feel free to make requests for these in my ask box, and I will add more as I write more too.

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Drabbles and Short Fics on Tumblr

A selection of short fanfic pieces, each of these is the full piece on Tumblr.

Raphael and/or Haarlep Brat Raphael and Haarlep (NSFW) Haarlep x Non-Gendered Reader/Writer (Mild NSFW) Haarlep x f!Tav x Brat Raphael (NSFW) "Raphael is Bad in Bed" Raphael x f!Tav (NSFW) Haarlep x Raphael x f!Tav (NSFW) Haarlep x Non-Gendered Writer 2 (2nd Person, mild NSFW) Haarlep Won't Let Lia Sleep (SFW, mostly.) Raphael is a Party Favour (NSFW) Raphael and Haarlep on Fiendmas Eve (NSFW) Raphael and Haarlep Drabbles (NSFW) Haarlep x m!OC Soft Drabble (Mild NSFW) Dom and Sub Raphael (NSFW) Falling for You - Soft Raphael/Haarlep (Mild NSFW) Forbidden Papers - Raphael/Haarlep (Mild NSFW) Devil Gets His Due - DomBottom Raphael/m!Tav (NSFW) Haarlep Angst Short - The Price Of You (Mild NSFW) Raph/Haarl Angst Short - All That We Hide (NSFW) Haarlep x GN Tav - Speak of the Devil... (NSFW)

Gale Dom!Gale x f!Tav (NSFW) Dom Professor Gale x AFAB Reader (2nd Person, NSFW) Dom!Gale x Non-Gendered Reader (Mild NSFW) Dom!Gale x Non-Gendered Reader 2 (Mild NSFW) Switch!Professor Gale x Non-Gendered Assistant (NSFW) God!Gale Angst (Mostly SFW)

Halsin Halsin x Reader (2nd Person Short, Not Gendered, SFW) Dom!Halsin x f!Tav (NSFW) Halsin x GN Reader - Flu Comfort (SFW)

Others Volo x Tav (Cursed, NSFW, Non-Gendered Tav) Shadowheart x AFAB NonBinary Tav (NSFW) Daggers and Gods, Shadowheart x Lae'zel (mild NSFW) Drabble Selection Assorted Characters (NSFW) Durgetash Trans Gortash x NonBinary Durge (NSFW) Gortash x m!Tav (NSFW)

These pieces are often warmups, and sometimes from prompts. I use them as a fun exercise to get going before working on longer chapter pieces.

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Full Chapter FanFiction on Tumblr

Complete FanFics available to read in their entirety on Tumblr, no need to go to any external links! Series titles are links to the AO3 collections for the series, individual works chapters link only to those works.

ATG Chapters are reposted on @atavsguide Nothing else is on that side blog just FULL chapters of ATG so I won't list them here too.

The Book Of Loviatar

This series centres on Abdirak and He Who Was. It started as a single one shot that got out of hand, and became so much more. This is the heavy BDSM series so please do not go in expecting only some cuffs and a light whipping. Every chapter has the CWs.

Pain and Penance (NSFW) Suffering and Serenity (NSFW) Agony and Adoration (NSFW)

The Scent of Cinnamon

A series focusing on the relationship between Raphael and Haarlep from the time they first met up to the events of the game.

The Scent of Cinnamon Tumblr Masterlist (NSFW)

Coming Soon

BG3 FicFeb Challenges (some SFW some NSFW)

Daily writing prompts, posted on AO3 and on my main Tumblr here. I will make a link summary compilation post later to go here~

One Shot Fics

A Feast Fit For A Fiend (NSFW) Raphael, Haarlep, and Tav

Iron Flowers Never Wilt (SFW) Barcus Wroot and Zevlor

Above Him, Down Below (NSFW) Yurgir and Gender Neutral Reader

All We Cannot Have (Mostly SFW) Halsin x f!Tav, Angst/Emotional

The Meaning of Pain (Mostly SFW) Wyll and Abdirak discuss pain's purposes.

Learning to Dance on Hot Coals (NSFW) Wyll x Haarlep

More Coming Soon

Current WIPS:

Yurgir x Halsin "The Bear Hunt" (working title)

Planned Fics and Upcoming

God!Gale x Raphael FanZine Works ATG 16 Scent of Cinnamon 7 Barcus Wroot Collab (on hold, release tbc)

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Ask Box Responses

A collection of responses to things that have landed in my Ask inbox! Please feel free to send some in if you like~

NSFW Alphabet - Raphael and Haarlep (NSFW, Obviously) Raphael and Haarlep Works (Nov 2023, NSFW) Raphael and Haarlep Turn On/Offs (NSFW) Raphael, Haarlep, and Jealousy (Headcanons, NSFW) Raphael and Haarlep Modern AU (Headcanons, NSFW) Why isn't Raphael at The Druid Camp (Headcanons, SFW) Raphael Jealous of Tav and Yurgir? (NSFW) Raphael Jealous of Tav and Yurgir? Pt2 (NSFW)

I'll try to get to these relatively quickly if I can!

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Other Posts

Headcanons and Misc that don't fit anywhere else~

A Little Art (Mostly SFW) Tavylia's Raphael/Haarlep Headcanons (NSFW) Fandom Positivity Discussion (SFW) Cerudinae's Art of The Halloween Special (NSFW) Prequel Sample and Haarlep's "True" Form (Mild NSFW) Festive Cards from the BG3 Characters (Mild NSFW) Raphael and Haarlep Lia Fic Links Jan 2024 (NSFW) Tavylia's Top Ten Writing Tunes (SFW) Lia's New PFP by JuicieBox (SFW) Haarlep vs Harleep - A Silly Look At Spelling (SFW)

So there's a nice little mix of things, and more will be added! I didn't link every reblog or short post, just the more interesting ones.

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This list will be pinned and updated with new posts to keep a good log because Lia has such bad memory she can't remember half of what she has written or where~

[vacantgodling]

re. about

ren (or rimz for cool kids). he/him. twenty five. black. queer. neurodivergent.

i'm redoing this because i'm losing steam (thanks work) and i'm pulling back on a lot of projects to mostly focus on things that make me personally happy. as is the nature of my brain, i will still jump back and forth between projects when i lose the flow for another, but i’ve narrowed my important wips down to just three main ones. other projects are currently being shelved, or put to the side as half baked ideas that i still need to keep in the oven before i introduce them to anyone formally.

(so if you don’t see a wip listed in the wips tab, it’s either shelved indefinitely or i want to work on it on my own for a bit. you can ask me about my other wips if you know/remember them but i can’t guarantee i’ll answer about them at this time. this also doesn’t mean i won’t ramble about them when i feel like it.)

important sideblogs = no pressure to follow just fyi

@babylonsfalling -> all my fandom and other nonsense goes here

@todazzlingreading -> this is a personal checklist for things i want to read by y’all that i don’t have time or spoons to get to at the moment i see it. once i read a post there i’ll delete it from that blog and rb it over here with any comments in the tags :3

to find my art commissions, please look here: https://www.tumblr.com/vacantgodling/715216537870532608/commissions-are-open

re. disclaimers / interaction

i mainly write fantasy; it’s a broad overarching label that covers all of my interests and it’s my first love in writing. horror and horror adjacent elements always make an appearance in my works. i emphasize complex mlm relationships and male leads, and romance is a great love of mine as you’ll notice from the king of my current wips. worldbuilding is also a great love of mine. i also love writing smut and talking about my characters having sex.

as such some disclaimers: following me is a very much curate your own experience. i don’t want to hold back talking about adult and mature themes so if you’re uncomfortable with anything i talk about i’d just suggest you unfollow lol nothing personal.

i’m open to asks and talking about anything but there’s no pressure. anons are always cool. i’m probably not gonna do writing based tag games too too much bc writing has been nonexistent lately but character asks or ramble ones i will do :)

also, as a personal ask: please do not refer to any of my characters as babygirl or girlie(s). shit makes me squick thanks.

re. main wips

linked are the main tags & once i finish the wip intros for paramour and tcol (revamping them) i’ll link them as well. feel free to ask to be on the taglist for any of these (i’m going to do better with these) — taglists will be activated for all writing and official posts. this won’t include ask games or random babbling.

PARAMOUR || “saved” from an imminent social death through arranged marriage, HYACINTHUS SHRAPNEL is whisked away to The Chateau aux Aisles D’or, where an unlikely sexual relationship with his butler AMON leads to far more than he bargained for.

THE CHRONICLES OF LATHSBURY (check out the crash course HERE) || The Aegean Guild of Explorers, led by the mysterious newcomer to Lathsbury Madja Fandel welcomes its newest contingent after the guild bid: PIPER FAIRWIND a MBW with a fighting spirit and desire for money and glory, DEUX UNDERSHIELD a naive protector seeking answers for her brother’s spurn, SANDRA “SAN” DEARBORN a vicious hunter with a chip on their shoulder, CLEAR BRIGHTENDALE a medic with a host of dark secrets, and FORTE SYMPHONIA a ranger seeking his own destiny, are as ready as they’ll ever be to enter the fray, to conquer the mysterious and dangerous LABYRINTH. Forces that have been in motion since before their lives even began are finally reaching their peak, and the five of them will have to use everything they’ve learned and then some to stay alive.

re. navigation

talking -> musings and personal thoughts

about renjamin -> insight to me / who i am

ren analysis -> when i get meta about my wips

ren mix -> a treasure trove of my music taste

ren polls -> any polls i make

ren reads -> for my ramblings and analysis as i try to get back into books

friends tag -> talking with friends or boosting my friends work

others work -> boosting other writeblrs work

hall of fame -> praise / things that make me happy that i want to keep

ren writing -> all of my writing in one place

ren poems -> all of my poems in one place

ren fic -> all of my fandom related writing in one place

ren art -> all my art

q eh you eh -> queue

sex mention -> tag for any sexual content.

worldbuilding -> all of my worldbuilding notes across all my wips

find the word tag -> for this game specifically so i can find it

last line tag -> for this game specifically so i can find it

ren hot cakes -> specifically for my overly opinionated opinions

writing recap -> tracking my writing journey so i can hold myself accountable

[idolkilling]

THIS BLOG IS 21+ ONLY FOR OCCASIONAL SEX, VIOLENCE, & “DEAD DOVE” THEMES.  All depictions of crime or taboo are for fictional character exploration and not endorsed in real life.  Please read my carrd before you follow.  Last updated 08/2024. twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se @killshopdeluxe — misc/reblogs

Hi I’m Kill !  Fibromyalgia having broke ass OC drawer and writer… welcome 2 my twisted mind (mostly shitposts and gay ikemen).  I love RP and OC interacts, so feel free to toss your OCs at mine any time!

More info + taglist below 🕺🏻✨

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🚕 SOCIALS

This is a sideblog.  I generally follow and send asks from @idolkilling-alt, but may use a different primary depending on what you post—I curate my dashboards by subject matter, and idolkilling’s is focused on OCs!  That said, feel free to engage regardless of what sort of blog you run; I love to chat! :D

@killshopdeluxe is where I will mostly be reblogging things (OC-related, misc, and fandom) and making personal text posts, to keep this blog organised!

If you know me from my previous kink-focused blogs—I’ll remake them! Just give me some time to set up ^^

My other socials are listed above, but I’ll go into depth here as well!

twitter — I tend to only post my art/writing or RT friends’ works on main, but if we interact a lot (off-anon, naturally), you can request to follow my personal and doodle alt !  I’m always yapping there 🫡

ao3 — Where my polished writing is hosted!  It takes me a long ass time to complete fics or edit RPs though, so I’ll share WIPs/unrefined pieces on this blog.

toyhou.se — My list of active OCs!  I try to keep their profiles short and sweet, so please ask me about any of them you’re curious about!

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⚠️ MY WORKS: TERMS OF USE

DO NOT repost my original work to any site, inclusive of using my art as an icon, banner, or background without express permission.

DO NOT use my works as reference material, inclusive of tracing my art, studying my style, or taking heavy inspiration from the designs or stories of my OCs.  I am a small hobby creator, not a big IP, so people piggybacking off my works to make their own—especially with the intent to publish or monetise—is hurtful (and has already happened several times).  TT

DO NOT tag my OCs as your own characters or use them as references/RP claims.

Any media IP fanworks I make can be reposted ¹ or used without permission, as long as I am credited with a link back to one of my socials.  That said, if I have already posted the art or writing to the intended site (eg. Twitter, Tumblr), please just boost my original post.

¹ caveat: Please do not post my art onto TikTok 🙁

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💫 INTERACTING

Fanworks of any kind featuring my OCs are welcome—and feel free to have them interacting with your own characters! If you make anything, please @ me and tag #idolkilling!  This part is optional, but feel free to also tag the full names of the OC/s depicted (written below in the “TAGLIST” section) ^^  If I miss your post, please PM!

PMs are currently unavailable for this blog, so please use @idolkilling-alt or my Twitter if you want to message me privately (though I’m not very good at one-on-one conversations ahaha). Alternatively, feel free to invite me to your (dark fiction-friendly) group Discord servers, or join one of my own!

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🪐 TAGLIST

It should be noted that I will not usually tag specific warnings for sensitive content, nor will I use Tumblr’s built-in censor/blur.  While the majority of my works on this blog are fairly tame, please beware of occasional (untagged):

violence, gore, body horror, and other grotesque imagery

depictions of abuse or other toxic/taboo dynamics

suggestive or outright sexual imagery, often featuring RACK or monsterkink

For the most part, my “dead dove” works are on the subtler side, but it is there!  If I feel like anything is darker than usual I’ll tag #dead dove: do not eat, in case anyone wants to mute such content.

Personal

#🌻kill.txt ｜ #🌻kill.abt — personal posts and info

#🪻blog.new ｜ #🪻blog.abt — blog updates and info

Content Archival

#📧OC Q&A — general trivia on my OCs, as well as ask responses

#📁MY OUS/AUS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OUS/AUS ｜ #📁MEDIA IPS

#📁MISC SOLO ｜ #📁MISC RP — works that do not have any specific fleshed out setting

#📁MY OCS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OCS ｜ #📁MEDIA CHARACTERS

#💘SHIPPING — specific ship tags in “OC-Related” subsection

#🎨ILLUST ｜ #📝WRITING — my own works, sorted into the subtags #scrawls, #rough, #clean, and #coloured as well as #drabbles, #oneshots, and #ongoing respectively; #WIPs and #showcase are used for both

#💞TREASURE BOX — works featuring my OCs by other people

#💛OTHERS’ WORKS — works by my OC collaborators! :D

OC-Related

I use an OC’s full name for art, writing, and any information on them (in response to asks or in general musings) I find important/vital. I may sometimes include works by other people in their main tags if I feel they represent the character’s vibes well to people who are not yet familiar with my OCs! I’ll usually tag other people’s OCs by their full names as well, unless the mun has their own tagging conventions (in which case I’ll follow suit).

Most characters’ full names are present on their Toyhou.se profiles, but I’ll list relevant ones here as well (especially since Xero and Velo’s are busted LMAO):

Xero Ouroboros Flamel Nocturne Jabberwock Lacrimosa etc … if you don’t want to remember all that Xero | Ouroboros is fine!

Dimitri Andreyevich Noskov

Reis Cordis ｜ The Lord of the Flies ｜ Navid Veisi

Umetarou Sano Lecce

Velo Velocity

Dr. Evening Threnody

Beyond that, I’ll use their shortened name + a descriptor to organise posts, as follows:

#[OC] by others — works featuring the character by other people

#[OC] info — self-explanatory; includes responses to asks

#[OC] answers — asks or replies where I draw/write the character responding directly

#[OC] core — random things that remind me of the character

Rounding back to shipping, each pairing or polycule has a main generic tag, but may feature subtags indicating top/bottom or D/s order (for sexual, suggestive, or otherwise ‘charged’ works).  The Eastern fandom practise of ordered tags is important to me, as oftentimes AB and BA are their own separate dynamics completely!

#Arizona — ANTE × Zion (Ram’s)

#Atomic Zero — Xero × Zeta (Ram’s)

#Knife Life — Xero × Killer Girl (Kumkrum’s)

#TBA — Dimitri × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA｜dimieros, xerodima — Dimitri × Xero

#TBA｜navitarou, tarounavi — Navid × Tarou

#TBA｜taroureis, reistarou — Tarou × Reis

#TBA — Xero × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA — Zeta (Ram’s) × Dimitri

They’re all just listed in alphabetical order since I wasn’t sure how else to sort them ahaha.  (Also this section is currently WIP as I upload more art/try to think of generic ship names… Bear with me 💀)

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🍳 BLOGROLL

People I OC with a lot 🤼 !!!  Check out their socials 🥰

@mihlen｜twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se

@ramsauced｜twitter｜toyhou.se

@enigma-sanctity｜twitter

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🌻 ABOUT ME

I’m Filipino, born and raised outside of the mainland United States (though I’ve sadgely lost my fluency 😔) and somewhere in the East Coast now.  I’m non-binary (femme [not a woman] + transmasc) and aroace (-spec).  I got that dog (chronic disability) in me so I’m often languishing in bed like a Victorian prince with tuberculosis (but we ball).  Instead of having conventional mento health struggles I got hit with the niche and silly beam (OCD/C-PTSD among them) :(  I suffer the paradoxical curse of being both a high-maintenance extravert who never shuts up and extremely, painfully shy…

Creative works are just my hobby and I do [vague office things] as a job.  An assortment of media I like can be found on my carrd, but in terms of recently popular fandoms, I enjoy Trigun and Deadpool & Wolverine !  I’m mostly a film guy, though.  Beyond fiction I have old person interests like buying seasonal produce, home improvement, and tailoring.

I pretty much exclusively blog from PC—please give my blog’s theme a look on PC browser if you get a chance! :D

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[the-clay-quarters]

Enter the Clay Quarters, you're welcome among them.

Hi! I'm Toffee, I'm 20 and use he/they. This is a sideblog for Fallen London because the special interest has hit me like a truck and I live here now I guess.

Main blog is @toffee-rambles, art blog is @toffee-biscuits, and for other sites I have a carrd.

Asks and dms are open if you want to chat! Keep in mind that I'm slow and also in europe, so it might take a bit for a reply. I use tone indicators when I think it's necessary but feel free to ask for clarification.

I also talk about my ocs! A lot! So here's some basics about them and links to their stuff.

- Flint Silverstein: My main account! A clay man pretending to be human who I adore to pieces. Standoffish and monotone but dependable. Ambition is heart's desire, closest to revs, lives out by the observatory to avoid everyone. [he/him] --- Reference, Tag, Ingame profile, Toyhouse

- Cordelia/Theodore Pembroke: Part high society part adrenaline junkie, pretends to be a married couple but is actually just one genderfluid mess. Somewhat chaotic and a menace, not afraid to cause a scene to have some fun, ADHD vibes. Ambition is bag a legend, closest to society, lives above her own tailor shop, very busy guy. [she/he] --- Reference, Tag, Ingame profile, Toyhouse

- Vincent Bell: Also occasionally known as Vícenç Creuer Libèl·lula, guy who came to the neath for research and has not been having a good time since. High anxiety and a people pleaser, but eager to talk about their research with bugs or topics like language and surface politics. Ambition is light fingers, lives in a small flat near the university. [they/them] --- Reference, Tag, Ingame profile, Toyhouse

Tag list below the cut- these will probably change but hopefully I'll remember to update this post oops

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Tags for filtering - Suggestive: self explanatory, I'm an adult 👍 - Long post: simply my personal vendetta against mile long posts carried over from main (/lh) - FL crit: unsure if I'll actually end up complaining much but putting this here just in case

Post types: - My art / Fic: what it says on the tin! I make things sometimes :D - Originals / Chatter / Asks: various degrees of actual content - Reblog game / Ask game: "reblog and answer in the tags" and ask prompt list type posts - Officially noticed: mostly for my own amusement, posts that have been reblogged by FBG

Reference tags, generally restricted to things between 1850-1920: - Historical art: includes writing, sculpture, etc - Photography: photos and film - Fashion: clothes! mainly dresses - Items: all sorts of things, various bits and bobs - Reference: anything else that doesn't fit these

Content tags: - Sskies / Sseas / Motr: I've played/am playing these! - c: Curators: general masters/curators tag bcus I love them all - c: Manager: the manager of the royal bethlehem/may of the calendar council/This Fuckin Guy, I just think he's neat <3

[vanesastudies]

Productive Studying Resources

Beating Procrastination

15 Ways to Beat Procrastination

What Type of Procrastinator are You?

The 2-Minute Rule

How to Not Procrastinate on Your Shit

5 Strategies to Defeat Procrastination (From Cal Newport’s How to Be a Straight-A Student)

Productivity Techniques

How to Bullet Journal (1, 2, 3)

Pomodoro Technique

Pomotodo [Windows / Mac, Chrome, Android / iOS]

Strict Workflow [Chrome]

The Ivy Lee Method for Peak Productivity

5 Best Revision Methods

The Ultimate Guide for Productivity for Students

The “Secret” to Getting Ahead in School

16 Simple Motivation Tips to Get More Done

Effective studying

Staying Focused

Block distractions

Computer programs/apps

Stayfocusd [Chrome] 

SelfControl / Focus [Mac]

Cold Turkey [Windows / Mac]

Phone apps

OFFTIME [Android / iOS] - I have been using this app for a little over a year now and it has been very good at keeping me off my phone. I use the paid version and I highly recommend it.

Forest [Android / iOS]

FocusNow [iOS]

Study sounds

MyNoise

Coffitivity

White noise generator

Ambient sounds

“study with me” on YouTube

#study sounds on my blog

How to Stay Focused: Train Your Brain

5 Ways to Build Focus [video]

Why you shouldn’t multitask

Types of Study Breaks for Every Situation

How to Succeed with ADHD / Bad Study Habits

How to Stop Being Tired All the Time [video]

Efficiency

Track your time

Why track your time?

RescueTime

Toggl

ATracker [Android / iOS]

How to find your most productive time of day [video]

How to finish homework FAST [video]

[potteresque-ire]

Not sure if this has circulated before, but here’s a link to Henry Jenkin’s reactions to 227, largely as responses to an interview he did with Sanlian Lifeweek magazine (三聯生活周刊), a publication modelled after TIME magazine and published under China Press Publishing group (中國出版集團), the largest and state-owned publisher in China. The magazine asked for Jenkin’s opinions on the fandom-related aspects of 227 back in March, 2020. Henry Jenkins, as many may already know, is among the most renowned scholars of (Western) fan culture ... if not the most renowned.

Personally, I find this article to be quite limited in perspective, because 227 had a significant non-fandom-oriented, sociopolitical component ~ and hence its scope, its chaos, its damage. IMO, 227 stopped being a fan war, stopped being about solos, cpfs, and even Gg the moment AO3 was shut down ~ the powerful Chinese state had intervened, and the incident necessarily became a political incident. That One Fic on AO3, the conflict between solos and cpfs about whether and where That Fic should exist was at most a lighter left at the scene of what would become the blaze; it wasn’t even responsible for igniting the first fire. Most i-turtles (i-fruits?) are probably aware too at this point: if fan wars are sufficient to start 227, then there wouldn’t have been a 227 ~ because 227 would have been every date of the year.

Fan culture is fundamentally transgressive, and what that means can only be defined in the context of the subculture’s “mainstream” sociopolitical and cultural environment. I therefore find the article’s attempt to transplant Western fan culture’s observations / theories / analysis / conclusions to the incident without explicitly comparing, addressing in depth the differences of the pre- and post-transplant environment to be ... prone to rejections (as organs are after transplantations!)—exclusion from being useful or valid. And this article was very short on such comparisons or address. Jenkins being a fandom expert aside (and he was careful about not treading outside his area of expertise), early “antis” of 227 presented themselves as crusaders for the freedom of speech and, by late March when this article was published, the heated debates surrounding the incident on Chinese social media had already led to embarrassment for multiple powerful state publications. It was probably a wise choice to not make another dive into the political aspects of the incident.

Being a new(-ish) turtle who joined the fandom a full half-year after 227, I’ve been backtracking, trying to really understand the incident, which remains very much beyond comprehension in many aspects. The discussions I’ve dug up that have most fascinated me have been those in non-fandom spaces, by non-fandomers / politics enthusiasts who barely knew who Gg was, who didn’t know That One Fic involved more than one idol and had zero knowledge about solos vs cpfs. In these discussions, “antis” are not referred to as “antis” because while the action of the so-called “227 coalition” was to kill Gg’s career, that wasn’t considered its ultimate goal ~ its ultimate goal was to warn whoever tried to clamp down the freedom of expression that their opposition was strong enough, populous to fight back and take away whatever, whoever those who attempted the clamp-down care the most about. In this case, “Gg fans”—I put this in quotes because eventually, no one would know who would lurk behind those pro-Gg Weibo IDs (and the anti-Gg ones as well)—were the perceived enemies of creative freedom. Gg, assumed to be the one, the symbol of what “GG fans” cared about the most, naturally became the target of the coalition.

Gg wasn’t special in that sense ~ and that was perhaps, the saddest thing I found about this incident as a Gg fan (without quotation marks); Gg could be any idol who achieved top fame at the moment, who had enough fans to make the point known. The coalition was therefore not “anti-Gg” in its ideological sense. It was anti the fan circle culture that had cemented Gg’s popularity, that had already been known to deal extremely poorly with dissent—complaints had been abound that c-ent was no longer fun for bystanders because the latter could issue no critique, not even doubt, about an idol without the fear of being reported, torn down by fans. The coalition eventually grew to include anti the many happenings, the many censorships and imprisonments in the past few years that had silenced the creative crowd in China, happenings people dared not speak about beyond a loud grumbling ...

The coalition tried to take down Gg, because they couldn’t take down the force that had shut down AO3, that was truly responsible for the silencing. They played the Hunger Games in the Weibo arena instead of challenging Who The Real Enemy Was, because some might not have given much thought about  The Enemy; some might have thought the Enemy too invincible to be worth the effort; some might have got too carried away by their blood thirst, the cruel schadenfreude of shredding a beautiful, successful young man into pieces, and forgot why they were there in the first place ... 

And that was only the political side of 227. 227 was also widely suspected to have a commercial component, which added another layer to the symbolism behind Gg the Idol ~ pretty much as soon as 227 happened, netizens investigated, tried to uncover the chain of capital behind Gg. With the scent of money was the memory of filth associated with it, in a country not exactly  unknown for its corrupt business practices. Much like in The Book of Exodus in the Bible, the Idol is believed to be forged with gold; it is ungodly, tainted. Whether Gg the Person was identical to Gg the Idol, Gg the Symbol mattered to few. That Gg *was* a person seemed lost to many ... 

I’ll have to dive into the non-fandom aspects of 227 with more rigour. As much as I'd love to leave 227 behind, every time I see Gg, I see its legacy on his face, in his smile, and perhaps, I’m not the only one ~ ADLAD cast him as Patient #5 because of 227′s effect on him. Put it another way, 227 is already modifying, writing Gg’s career trajectory ~ a trajectory that is undoubtedly under scrutiny by many who wish to duplicate his success but circumvent his pain. And every time I see a young idol—Gg, Dd, and anyone else—I wonder if the hurt of 227 can happen to them (again) because the crux of the incident has never been resolved; the oppression and silencing have remained strong as ever. 

Anyway (sorry for the rant) ... what I found noteworthy about this article was the quotes the magazine highlighted in its published form (in Chinese), which weren’t highlighted by Jenkins on his own website. They reflected what the magazine would like to be the take-home messages of the interview. I’ve listed them below; all of which had Jenkins as the speaker:

[Pie Note: About Real Person Fiction (RPF) in Western fandoms]

“American fans often do have some shared norms about what is and is not appropriate to write, mostly having to do with protecting the privacy of other people in the star’s life. Writing about the star is seen as fair game; writing about their family members is not.”

---

[Pie Note: About GG being “cast” as a transgender woman in The One Fic that started the incident; gender in fandom]

“We write fan fiction as a form of speculation and exploration. For some people, it may be one of the few spaces in the culture where they can express who they are, what they are feeling, what they are desiring. And for others, it is a place of “what if” where they explore in fantasy things they would not necessarily desire in reality.” 

---

[Pie Note: Whether GG should be held responsible for his fans’ behaviour]

“Under these circumstances, I would not hold a performer responsible for his fans’ behaviors but the performer is responsible for their own behavior and fans may respond negatively to performers who over-react to the existence of alternative fantasies and insult or hector their audiences.”    

---

[Pie Note: About AO3 and why fans were so upset about its closure] “Keep in mind that AO3 is a particular kind of platform. Alongside Wikipedia, AO3 is one of the greatest accomplishments of participatory culture in the digital era.”

---

[Pie Note: About the “problematic” content on AO3]

“Among my findings were that fan fiction sites can be a valuable space for young people to acquire skills (and receive feedback) on their writing from more experienced writers who share these same passions ... That said, while teens have participated in fandom, a large part of those on AO3 are adults, engaging in adult conversations on adult topics.”

---

[Pie Note: About media text in the new media era]

“First, I would stress the proliferation of media texts at the current moment ... We have access to a much broader range of media content than ever before and in this context, fans play a constructive role in curating that content, helping some shows get greater visibility ...  Second, these texts have become more malleable”

---

[Pie Note: About idols not producing “good” media texts]

“Rather, the question should be what are fans finding meaningful about these performers and the texts they generate. I start from the premise that human beings do not engage in meaningless activities. I may not immediately recognize why something is meaningful but my job as a scholar is to understand why cultural materials are meaningful to the people who cherish them.”

---

My understanding of this selection of quotes is this: this state publication (as others) was quite ready to forgive Gg, to put this incident behind. It could choose to not publish this interview; it could choose to leave out certain quotes, or not do the highlighting that cast both AO3 and Gg in a positive / innocent light. But it did all these things. This article furthers my impression that the state never intended 227 to blow up the way it did, and that it did—enough for stories about it to be found in non-China websites, and in English—was what I’m still trying to comprehend. 227 was, admittedly, how I was first introduced to Gg beyond Wei Wuxian. And as I got to know Gg, like Gg, my want to understand 227 only becomes stronger, perhaps because only through comprehension I feel I can find peace for the GG fan (again, without quotation marks) in me.

Maybe I should email Dr Jenkins and ask if he’s looking for a PhD candidate. 5 years of research and thinking ... maybe that’s what it’ll take. 

I feel I’ve already started anyway. 

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

[disorganisedautodidact]

Autodidact’s Library No. 12: David Markson, Wittgenstein’s Mistress

I have mixed feelings about this book – I almost stopped reading a couple of times but everytime I decided it was annoying or boring, I got to a passage that made me laugh or impressed me, so I read the whole thing. The main character and narrator is alone in a world mysteriously empty of all humans (this is never explained), surviving physically on whatever the disappeared have left behind and wandering the world – originally in search of others, but by the time of the narrative, pretty much aimlessly. The writing shifts into unreality, enumerating things which are “the case”* but then constantly contradicting them, creating a fundamental uncertainty about what is, in fact, the case or whether that question even makes sense. The excessive use of words like “doubtless”, “certainly”, “unquestionably”, “assuredly” only makes this atmosphere of uncertainty starker. (Although, quite frankly, I think using the word “doubtless” four times on the same page is overdoing it.)

Often several sentences/paragraphs are spent clarifying every possible misunderstanding about the sentence before (an example: “Actually, the part about the dog is sad, it being the dog who is the first to recognize Odysseus when he returns to Ithaca after having been gone for ten extra years after Troy but then dies. Ah, me. At least it would appear to have been some pages since the last time I did that. Or at least noticed that I did. What I meant was hardly that it is Odysseus who dies after returning to Ithaca, obviously. Obviously it is the dog who dies after recognizing him.”), which I find both relatable and amusing. It also fits the theme of the book, grasping for certainty or clarity like for soap in the bath.

What struck me was that while the narrator is alone and suffering from it, the focus is on the whole of missing humanity and its intellectual remains (museums, books, art, … - mostly parts of the “Western canon”, which probably doesn’t mean anything other than the author was a white American who wrote about what he knew), NOT the narrator’s lost personal relationships or practical survival, both of which are only vaguely touched on – we know the narrator had a lover and a son, but they do not take up very much room in the text. In fact, the narrator talks more about characters from classical Western literature than about her own friends, family or lovers. Though relationships and art are clearly linked for her, she says of her former lover: “And he is obviously in my head. But then what is there that is not in my head? So that it is like a bloody museum, sometimes. Or as if I have been appointed the curator of all the world.” People, like artworks, only exist in her head now.

 * Significance of the title: A reference to Wittgenstein’s Tractatus logico-philosophicus, “The word is everything that is the case.” In fact, the whole book could be (and has been) read as imagining what it would be like if the world worked the way the Tractatus describes it. The copy I read came with an afterword by David Foster Wallace, which analyses the relationship of the novel to Wittgenstein’s philosophy better than I can be bothered to. There are aspects of Wallace’s writing that are problematic, but I like his description of Wittgenstein’s Mistress as “a kind of philosophical science fiction”.

[gazeboarcade]

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

GOSH this is a lot of questions, lemme give it my best shot.

1.) I sometimes still post art on my art instagram, but I prefer not to cross the beams of that and my tumblr so much. If someone rlly wants the handle tho, feel free to ask. 

2.) If this means like...nicknames, too many to count. One of my first URLs was something like “pensword,” which was a reference to Percy Jackson!

3.) I was KINDA in it in 2017 when the first movie came out, but it didn’t hold my attention too much. In September 2020, I really got into IT, tho! I got into it because I realized it was coming up on a year since I saw the second one in theaters (during a wind advisory night in the city I go to college, on Halloween). For a couple of silly reasons (my ex belittling IT a little and me being weirdly internalized homophobic abt it) I was scared to enjoy it publicly haha

4.) My favorite ship in the fandom, ofc, is Reddie! I am kinda basic so I also really think Ben and Bev are sweet. I also really liked Patty and Stan together in the book... they were so achingly sweet together that the bath chapter made me cry for a HOT MINUTE.

Richie is my all time favorite character for reasons I could probably write like 50 pages on! Some of those reasons are like super-duper personal lol so I pull punches on just dumping them on my blog haha! I just really really related to him for a lot of reasons (the humor coping mechanism and the werewolf thingy, to name a couple) so it was only natural I latched onto that boy and went full send kinnie moment!

Eddie is my second favorite bc I love him and wanted the best for him (I don’t want to start disc horse on tumblr, but my gf and I have schemed abt who should have kicked it at the end and it ain’t him). I also have a soft spot for kid Ben in the book, bc I really thought he was a sweetheart (I mean, cmon, walking around whispering Bev’s name? Adorable! Hiding away in libraries? Relatable!)

5.) I’ve done a bunch of stuff! This blog has a ton of IT content. I have made a bunch of fan art (most of which hasn’t been posted sdjbvkdsjbvk). I have written a couple fanfics (a finished oneshot and one unfinished longer one that will...probably stay that way). I have a reddie playlist on spotify, too.

6.) There’s been a few people who’ve done some IT stuff I’ve really liked! Uhh @stitchyarts  wrote some fics and has done some beautiful art to go with it that I really liked!! @skelesocks did some HELLA charming art, tho is now mostly Queen blog. No shade there, I have a Queen blog, too, lol. Ask for the URL if you want it. Both of them focused on the miniseries tho.

There’s a couple artists who have done Reddie stuff I have really liked, too, which is super inspiring. here’s a few of those: @trashcanprince @mxgicdave @meowsteryyy ..... tbh fave IT blog of all time tho has to be my gf, em, @dr-kaspbrakmd , bc she got me full swing obsessing and also it was a big bonding thing for us early into the relationship *pauses for crowd to say AWWWWW*

7.) Assuming this means fanfics, like I said, a lot of Stitchy’s works, especially Tinted Windows and TV Guides (which now i rlly want to re-read lol). I kinda have a hard time with fanfic reading bc im picky and sometimes it’s better to daydream my own stories. The other Reddie fics I’ve liked will make yall get the shepherd’s hook and yoink me off stage for public indecency for sure so I’m gonna leave that to ur imagination <3

8.) I feel positively heinous and pick-me trying to get ppl to read my old reddie fics that I wrote during the crushing weight of crippling lonliness so no. they r also not rlly that good so you’re welcome <3

9.) No actually! I have thought about it. I have also schemed the idea of starting my own reddie zine and being super choosey about who gets in but that’s just me wanting to curate content I like lollll.

10.) uhhh decorum, understanding of complex relationships/emotional situations, and the common sense not to fetishize gay men <3 that sounds rlly snotty but there’s some activity tm in this fandom that yucks me out big time. Also, I wish more ppl would have seen the miniseries/read the book but that’s just me being choosy.

Anyways, I’ve been running my mouth for WAY too long but I hope this answers the questions you had good enough!! Thanks for asking!!

[brokenbuttonsmusic]

Laura Cantrell: Nashville-born, New York-based, Acclaimed Country Singer-Songwriter & DJ (& Kitty Wells Fanatic)

This post is a near- transcript of the Broken Buttons: Buried Treasure Music podcast (episode 2, side B). Here you’ll find the narration from the segment featuring the pioneering rock band Fanny, along with links, videos, photos and references for the episode.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Anchor or Mixcloud.

Music blog Stereogum used to have a running feature called “Quit Your Day Job” where they interviewed indie musicians about their current or former jobs. There was one with Marty and Drew from the band Blitzen Trapper. The two discussed being torn about walking away from teaching as their third album, Wild Mountain Nation, was starting to blow up. There was another where the lead singer of War on Drugs detailed some of the disgusting things he had to clean up while working as an apartment property manager. Mostly dead rats and clogged toilet stuff, but he did walk into an apartment that had been converted into a porno set. I remembered this discontinued “musician day job” feature while reading up on my next featured artist and it got me thinking. 

How many professional musicians do you think have a full time day job? How many juggle multiple side gigs and still manage to tour and put out records regularly? How many have really successful careers all while trying to make it as a musician? 

I don’t actually know. I did some research and there aren’t any reliable stats that I could find. There is a lot of anecdotal discussion on the topic. The consensus seems to be that most musicians are not getting by with music as their only, or even their primary source of income. I don’t think anyone is surprised by that. 

One Reddit user said less than 5% of musicians derive all or most of their income from music. He didn’t offer a source or anything, but he seemed very authoritative in his post. And then after a few more Google searches I lost interest and listened to more Laura Cantrell. 

Laura Cantrell’s story is what got me pondering how indie musicians go about juggling making art with the necessity of, you know, making a living to survive. In 2003, after two critically acclaimed albums, including a tour opening for Elvis Costello all across the United States and Europe, Cantrell was at a similar crossroads. Laura had risen to the position of Vice President of Equity Research at Bank of America in New York. Yes, you heard me right. Laura Cantrell was working as a corporate executive and touring with Elvis Costello at the same time. She actively worked on the road during the day and then performed for thousands of people each night.

Before we get further into what led up to this point and what came after, let’s hear a song from Laura Cantrell’s debut album, Not the Tremblin’ Kind. Here’s the title track.

That was Not the Tremblin’ Kind from Laura Cantrell’s first album back in the year 2000.

Laura grew up in Nashville. She played a little bit of piano and sang in the church choir, but did not get into performing music and playing out until her college years. As a teenager she worked at the Country Music Hall of Fame as a tour guide. This job, in addition to the influence of the diverse musical tastes of her parents, sparked an interest in traditional music, particularly classic country. She also became somewhat of an aficionado in this area. 

This love and knowledge of the early days of country music would help differentiate Laura as she honed her sound and selected her songs while developing as a performer down the road. Before that, however, it would make her an excellent college radio DJ and later an even more excellent DJ at WFMU, one of the best and longest running free-form radio stations in the country. Out of the New Jersey/New York area, WFMU is awesome to this day, with a wide array of programming where DJs still get to play whatever they want. 

Laura is my favorite kind of DJ, and the kind that has been dwindling in numbers since the rise of music downloads, which then gave way to streaming and endless algorithms. First off, she’s knows her stuff. She carefully curates each shows, and thoughtfully sequences each set within every episode. She packs in history, context and story to create something that transcends your typical weekend-afternoon-background-radio-soundtrack. I know this show is about under appreciated bands and artists, but Laura Cantrell’s contributions to radio deserve to be heard by more people. You can find her past WFMU shows, called The Radio Thrift Shop, archived on the WFMU website. You can hear her present day on her “States of Country” radio show on the Gimmie Country radio app, or on her SiriusXM George Harrison themed show “Dark House Radio,” on The Beatles station.

This concludes the part of the show where I babble my enthusiastic endorsement of Laura Cantrell’s past and present radio career.

Laura began playing music with others in college at Columbia University. Her jam pals included Andrew Webster, future member of Tsunami Bomb and Mac McCaughan, who would go on to form Superchunk and Portastatic + found Merge Records. The friends would call their band Bricks. A lo-fi, mostly apartment recording projects that played sporadic gigs over the years. 

Here’s the Brick’s song, The Girl with the Carrot Skin.

Living in New York, Laura began playing guitar and writing her own songs. She also plucked some choice classic country finds and incorporated them into her own performance catalog. One day she met a guy named John who asked her to sing on a song that would appear on his band’s next major label release for Elektra. 

That’s The Guitar from They Might Be Giant’s 1992 album, Apollo 18. John Flansburgh asked Laura to sing on that recording. It was the first time Laura recorded in a professional studio. John Flansburgh became a fan of Laura’s music and released her first recorded material as part of his Hello CD of the Month Club, an EP called The Hello Recordings in 1996. 

Let’s hear another Laura Cantrell song. This time one that she wrote with Amy Allison. From Laura Cantrell’s 2014 album, No Way There From Here, this is All the Girls are Complicated. 

That was Laura Cantrell with All the Girls Are Complicated from her last full length release, No Way There From Here. Actually, that was her last full album of new material, but Laura did release an album a few years back of her BBC recordings on John Peel’s radio show. That album is called At the BBC: On Air Performances and Recordings 2000-2005. 

I mentioned earlier that Peel was a big fan. Again, here’s John Peel’s full quote about Laura’s first album, Not the Tremblin’ Kind: "[It is] my favourite record of the last ten years and possibly my life.” Having the endorsement of the legendary English disc jockey was enough to give Cantrell wider exposer throughout the UK. She developed a loyal fanbase through regular appearances on Peel’s show, as well as US and European tours, including the opening slot for Elvis Costello. Which brings us back to Laura’s fork in the road. Before her third album, Laura decided to walk away from the corporate gig. She was excited to focus on music full time, but a little worried about walking away from the security of a successful career she liked and position she was good at.

From a spotlight CNN Business did on Cantrell in 2004:

“For several months until she finally quit, Cantrell balanced her day job with a growing schedule of rehearsals, gigs, recordings and publicity. On the day she appeared on the Conan O'Brien show she was at her desk until lunchtime.”

“And while life as a professional musician is a dream come true, Cantrell still looks back with fondness on more than a decade on Wall Street.”

“‘I came into Wall Street with a very typical kind of stereotype that it was all going to be people just obsessed with money. What I found was that there were just loads of interesting people who were a lot like myself, just doing it as a job and who had lives that were full of other things.’

‘So I miss some of the contact with people I met. Ironically it was a very supportive environment for me as an artist.’”

Laura’s first two albums were released on the the indie label Diesel Only, which was founded by her husband, Jeremey Tepper. Her third album was released by Matador Records, also an indie label, but with an impressive roster that included Liz Phair, Modest Mouse, Pavement and Sleater-Kinney. Released in 2005, Humming By the Flowered Vine continues Cantrell’s classic country sound, but with some evolved production and arrangements. Laura’s mastery as a song selector gets more and more impressive. This album includes a cover of a rare, unreleased Lucinda Williams song form 1975 called, “Letters.” 

In fact, Lucinda Williams herself was thoroughly impressed with Laura’s cover of “Letters.” She attributes the cover to bolstering her confidence to go back through her earlier material and look for her own buried treasures. 

From Blurt Magazine: 

“The inspiration for her journey through the past struck when she heard Laura Cantrell’s version of her song ‘Letters,’ which Williams wrote around 1975 and recorded on a demo but never officially released. Explains Williams, ‘She got a copy from a mutual friend and did a beautiful, really sweet version of it that made me think wow, she brought this early song back to life, maybe I should go back and review some of my old stuff. I’ve got all these tapes of old little songs, but I never thought they were good enough to do anything with.’”

You know you’re an ace at finding under appreciated gems when you surprise Lucinda Williams by helping her discover one of her own songs. Let’s hear Laura Cantrell’s version of Letters.

That was Laura Cantrell with Letters from her 2005 release Humming by the Flowered Vine.

In 2008, Laura returned with an EP called, Trains and Boats and Planes with 9 songs about… trains, and boats and planes. It’s very good and it includes a fun cover of New Order’s Love Vigilantes. 

Throughout this time, Laura continued her radio show. She also started a family and became co-owner and co-operator of Diesel Only Records. 

In this clip from an interview with Face Culture, you can really hear Laura’s passion for country music and its roots. She talks about the importance of country’s influence on rock n’ roll, and how each artist is inspired by something great that came before. 

And Laura continuously pays tribute to the greats that came before through her radio show and on her own records. In 2011, Laura released a tribute to Kitty Wells called “Kitty Wells Dresses: Songs of the Queen of Country Music.” The collection includes nine Kitty Wells covers and one original, the title track, Kitty Wells Dresses.

From the Washington Post:

Here’s Laura talking about the inspiration for the album. 

“Kitty wore very typical stage clothes for women who performed at barn dances and in early country music shows,” says Cantrell, a Nashville-born, New York-based country singer and host of an old-time music show on the legendary radio station WFMU.

“They were these frilly gingham dresses, non-threatening and cutesy. It became this uniform that all the women of the era wore, and I always thought it was a great metaphor for how you can underestimate the strength of the person or the value of the artist underneath.”

That was the song Kitty Wells Dresses from Laura Cantrell’s tribute album of the same name, released in 2011. Wells was the oldest living member of the Country Music Hall of Fame upon its release. She was also the first woman inducted into the hall. Cantrell met and talked to Kitty about her album. She said that Kitty asked which songs were selected and as Laura began calling them out, Kitty would sing each one. 

I’ve mentioned all of Laura’s past and present DJ efforts, all of which I’ll link to on my website, brokenbuttons.com. Laura also continues to release music. She had planned a host of special activities for the 20th anniversary of Not the Tremblin’ Kind, which had to be put on hold due to all things 2020. 

You can contribute to Laura’s IndigGoGo campaign to help fund her new digital singles collection that she’s already started releasing. The plan is to release six singles with an A and a B side, all working with different musicians and producers. I’d recommend the $50 Kitty Wells Dresses Pack, which gets you access to the digital singles as their released, a signed CD copy of both the singles collection and the Kitty Wells Dresses album, as well as a copy of Laura's essay on Kitty and Patsy Cline from the book "Rock and Roll Cage Match: Music's Greatest Rivalries"

Laura Cantrell is the rare performer whose work is deeply rooted in its original source material while still feeling fresh and exciting. Laura’s radio shows can be described the same way. A buried treasure unearthing buried treasure and taking the old and classic and making it new and lasting and so much sweeter. Laura Cantrell.

References and other stuff to check out:

Laura’s Indiegogo campaign for her digital singles series

The Radio Thrift Shop - Laura’s prior radio show. You can stream past episodes and check out her playlists

Gimmie Country, where Laura hosts her current show States of Country. New episodes air 3:00 Monday EST. Laura chats during the show with listeners in the app.

Darkhorse Radio on Sirius XM. Laura’s other show dedicated to George Harrison. New episodes air Thursday at 3:00.

John Peel wiki entry about Laura

TMBG wiki entry about Laura

A Wall Street journal feature on Laura

An NPR feature on Laura

A CNN Business Week feature on Laura

Stereogum archive of the Quit Your Day Job feature

[sonofsallyjackson]

A World Not Quite Her Own (pt 1/3) - The Estelle Fic

So here it is, my first foray into the Percy Jackson fandom despite being obsessed with the books when I was in elementary/middle school.  This started as my take on Estelle’s childhood, but morphed into something more with a Percabeth wedding scene in chapter 2.  AO3 Link Here.

Estelle Blofis had never lived in a world without monsters.  Many people in this world would have been driven mad by this knowledge. But for Estelle, it was a simple fact of the universe like humans need air to survive, or blue chocolate chip cookies are the best dessert.  Maybe knowing about monsters should have made her scared, but all it did was show her the heroes who would always come in and save the day.

Many of those heroes made the best babysitters.  

Sally always let out a sigh of relief when Grover was in town.  The Lord of the Wild didn’t even grumble good-naturedly as he took on his excitable charge for the day.  Grover didn’t need the promise of Sally’s seven-layer bean dip or the collection of recycling curated for maximum crunch to make it through their outings.  He had always wanted to teach humans to appreciate the wild, treasure it, and protect it.  Grover might not be able to teach all humans, but he certainly could teach Estelle.   They sat in an isolated corner of Central Park together, occasionally bothered by druids, but mostly it was just the two of them.  They would sit directly in the grass, Estelle’s orange tutu and rainboots regardless of the weather stretched out next to hairy legs that Grover mostly didn’t bother to cover anymore.  While Estelle likely fidgeted just as much as she listened (spinning breaks were deemed a necessity after a single outing), she did listen to him.  Grover was the best at answering questions and like any small child, Estelle had a lot of questions.  So as she grew,  Estelle sang hi to the individual trees on walks with her parents and proclaimed solemnly in pre-school that “Pan was dead”  (a reference that thankfully her teacher didn’t understand but had resulted in a headache-inducing conversation for Paul).   

In comparison, babysitting with Rachel was essentially one long arts and crafts session.  Finger paintings completely covered the fridge by the time Estelle was three.  They’d repainted the mural on Estelle’s bedroom wall about four times by the time she was ten, with each rendition more fantastical than the last.  Occasionally Sally regretted the afternoons spent writing with Rachel over once she discovered the paint covered mess that once had been her daughter, but overall with the sound of laughter echoing through the house (and only one minor prophecy), she supposed things could be a lot worse.  

On days where snow piled up outside their window, but Estelle adamantly refused to wear anything but a swimsuit and a feather boa,  Paul frantically phoned Piper.   She was at the top of a very short list of people who could make Estelle dress appropriately for the weather.  No one was sure if it was a form of diluted charmspeak or just Piper’s knack for finding outfits that technically could be worn in public but still fit the (unfashionable) vibe Estelle was going for.  

Tyson was never allowed to babysit Estelle by himself, but he made up for his clumsiness and general lack of knowledge of human safety measures with an excess of enthusiasm.  He took to having a baby sister so well that no one really bothered to explain that technically the two of them weren’t related.  Still Tyson’s one eye seemed just as normal to Estelle as his hugs or extremely calloused hands.  

Nico really wasn’t her babysitter.  He would stop by the apartment looking for Percy or Sally, but would end up staying because Estelle had him wrapped around her finger.  The first time they’d met Nico had come over with bad news regarding Apollo’s quest.  Estelle couldn’t actually remember what had happened since she was so young, but Sally liked telling the story, complete with pictures, so Estelle knew it by heart anyway.  Percy hadn’t been home yet and since he was with mortals working on a group project, Iris messages would have been a no-go even if the cosmos weren’t trying to prevent demi-god communication.  So Nico had sat on the couch in the living room occasionally pestered by Sally’s “Are you sure I can’t get you anything to eat?” and “You look tired, sweetheart.  You have time for a nap if you want one.”  

In the end, Nico hadn’t gotten that nap because he’d been greeted by tiny hands pulling themselves upright on the couch cushion next to him.  Estelle’s face had been alight with mischief that Nico would have previously sworn was only possible from a child of Hermes.  Her black curls swung wildly around her as she wiggled her way onto the couch and into Nico’s lap.  Estelle made herself comfortable while Nico looked ready to throw up.  At fourteen, he’d fought in two different wars, but one crawling 10-month-old seemed to be enough to break him.  As Estelle grew older, her little chants of “Nico! Nico! Nico!” had so much power over the boy who wanted a family more than anything else in the world.

Annabeth was one of her most frequent babysitters.  She practically lived at their apartment when she wasn’t at school, or helping her cousins or the camp.   She did keep Percy from giving into Estelle’s every whim which wasn’t ideal, but Estelle could deal with eating a full plate of vegetables if it meant hanging out with Annabeth.  Unfortunately,  Annabeth did not share Estelle’s undying love for all things Little Mermaid and often muttered “Seaweed Brain, I don’t know how but this is your fault.  If I have to hear Under the Sea one more time, I’ll-“ under her breath whenever just watching Disney movies was suggested.  So spending time with Annabeth often meant playing with Legos, creating a disjointed collection of buildings. Mini replicas of New York landmarks would be dwarfed by uneven towers because Estelle cared more about height than stability, aesthetics or really any other architectural principle.  When Annabeth entered school, she was less inclined to spend any bit of free time still thinking about architecture.  So she gave Estelle a little potholder loom and taught her the basics of weaving.  Sally had ended up with more neon-colored monstrosities than she knew what to do with, but the girls could spend hours in relative quiet, so it seemed a small price to pay.  

And then there was Percy, the biggest hero in Estelle’s eyes.  Her love wasn’t like the hero-worship of new demigods, who idolized him for defeating the Titans, surviving Tartarus, or going on countless quests.  Estelle believed more than anything else in the world that her brother would be there to catch her whenever she fell and there was no monster he couldn’t beat.  

Even before she could walk, Estelle had seen her brother’s powers.  Some things were easy to miss, like the way Percy could wash the dishes without getting wet at all, but others stood out to her. The waves at Montauk had calmed so he could teach her how to swim but were quick to come back to life if anyone stared too openly at Annabeth or his mom.   While Annabeth built elaborate sandcastles, Percy added fantastical moats and laughed as Estelle roared like a minotaur to tear it down.   He could hold his breath forever, which seemed awfully unfair the first time Estelle had tried to swim underwater and ended up with a mouthful of saltwater.  Percy was always willing to translate for the fish at the aquarium, although Estelle was pretty sure he did the funny voices for her benefit.  When Percy had landed Blackjack on their apartment’s roof after being called back to camp for an emergency, he had translated for his old friend too. Estelle loved those translations the most, even if they weren’t entirely accurate.  

“Seriously, Blackjack, can you cool the language around my little sister?”  

By age five, her older brother had bought wooden swords for the two of them to practice in the living room.  Percy kept the moves simple, demonstrating before lightly wrapping his fingers around her tiny wrists and guiding her through the movements.  Estelle would copy them intently with her nose scrunched up and her tongue stuck slightly to the side in concentration.   They focused primarily on defensive strategies, but still had practice fights where Percy pretended to die dramatically.  

“I don’t think this is a good idea Percy,” Sally had said after they broke their second lamp.

“Mom she can see them. And as long as I’m around Stella will always be a target.”  

There was an unspoken promise in his words.  I’m always going to be here Mom.  I’m still alive, but I can’t lose anyone else, especially not my baby sister.  

Estelle hugged her mother’s leg tightly, looking up with pleading eyes.   “Please Mom I’ll be careful.”    

Eventually, Paul signed Estelle up for fencing lessons because there had to be a better way to teach her to fight that didn’t involve the two of them wrecking the living room every time Percy visited.  And if the way, allowed Paul to share his old fencing passion with his daughter, all the better.  The living room still ended up with the furniture pushed to the side on a regular basis though because Estelle needed to demonstrate everything she’d learned for her big brother.  

When Tyson had come to her sixth birthday party, his present had been a small bronze sword that transformed into a charm bracelet so Estelle could always be prepared.  He’d look so proud and Estelle kept touching it reverently, but Sally had not been amused.  She had wanted her daughter to grow up safe from this madness, even if she knew that wasn’t entirely a possibility.   It was bad enough to have one child constantly in mortal peril and disappearing on dangerous quests.  

“It can’t even hurt her; it’s celestial bronze.  The first time I met Rachel I ran her through with Riptide and she’s still fine.”  

Rachel flicked her red curls over her shoulder.  “Worried for your sanity, but physically fine.”  

Neither of them was as reassuring as they thought, but Estelle did get to keep the sword for emergency use only.  This was after all a world full of monsters as well as heroes.

[aurorajay]

I love making costumes but I always feel bad about my skill level being far below everyone else’s. Even though I love making costumes they never look good quality. Any advice?

It's easier to answer specific questions about a project vs. a general "how to be good”, but I'm gonna give it my best shot.

First off, go easy on yourself, you're learning! I know I'm still learning. Hell, the seasoned pro of 3 decades is still learning! Every fuck up and mediocrity is a step of improvement. I won't tell you that practice makes perfect, because it doesn't. It will make you better, great even. But it won't make you perfect. No one ever achieves perfection. And that's okay! Literally every single piece I've ever made has multiples elements I would change if i could. Even the ones that look good, like the now-popular moth cape. I will do lots of things differently when i make my next one.

Also, I know from experience how hard it is to avoid comparing yourself to others, especially online. So when we (inevitably) do, I think it's important to remember that there can be a BIG difference between in person and photos. That cool looking cosplay armour? Upon closer inspection it might be held together by hot glue. That pretty formal gown? It might have a real shitty fraying seam down the back. All we see is a carefully curated version of reality.

It's hard offering practical tips without more info to go on, but hopefully some of this will help. I think what makes a good looking costume can be broken down into 4 basic elements, so here’s what I think are the most important things to consider

Design: This is the part that people seem to have the easiest time with, and I can help the least with. Coming up with the idea. And when you’re costuming just for the pure enjoyment of it, there are no bad ideas! Now everyone approaches this differently, whether it's sketches, moodboards, or diagrams. Unless someone else is executing the concept, it doesn't even need to look remotely good! As long as you understand what the design is supposed to be, it works.

I will say to design with practical considerations in mind though. Think about where, how, and why it will be worn. Plan for things like zippers and buttons to get in and out, the weather where it will be worn, how much movement will be required, etc. You don’t want to end up sweaty and stuck in a polyester bodysuit that can only be opened with the help of two assistants in say, an outdoor summer event in LA.

Materials: This can be tricky, because it’s dependant on your resources. Materials are expensive, and quality ones even more so. But researching options and picking the best fit for your project is important. Making a historical piece? Stick to natural fibers. Cosplaying a superhero? You're gonna need spandex.

If you're short on funds, going through second hand stores can be real handy. Bigger ones will sometimes have actual yardage, but you can find sheets, curtains, saris, and all sorts of things to take apart and use. Get familiar with the properties and names of different textiles. You'll eventually develop a skill for spotting the nice stuff.

More specialized tools/materials like say fosshape or sewing machine attachments are harder to stumble across, but there will be online sales. If i find something good for cheap I buy it and hang onto it for later projects. If possible, take advantage of sales and rare finds while you can. You're a dragon and materials are your hoard!

Construction: Obviously you want your costume to be well-made, but this means knowing and mastering different techniques. It's a slow process, but one everyone is capable of undetaking! Firstly, you need to familiarize yourself with technical terms to make finding the actual tutorials easier. One of my go-to resources for this is The Sewing Book, by Reader's Digest. (There’s also a newer version available, I’ll include it below). It covers a wide variety of techniques, materials, etc. and has fantastic diagrams. Can’t recommend it enough

Companies that sell specialized stuff like thermoplastics or casting resin often have tutorials on their websites which can be indispensable to learning to use them properly. As well as very important safety precautions. They will also sometimes list external how-to sources or sell instructional books.

Take a close look at clothes and costumes you own to understand how they are put together. Figure out what techniques are appropriate to use where. A flat fell seam is great for jeans and french seam is perfect for chiffon, but try the reverse and it will be a pain. Take pictures and make sketches of interesting details that catch your eye. You can come back to them for ideas later.

I try and incorporate at least 1 new technique into every project I make, that way I'm always learning. But don't jump straight to trying it out on the final piece! Always make a sample (or several) beforehand. And keep the samples for later reference! I'm trying to amass a big scrapbook-style binder of samples, which is sooo so handy to come back to when it's been a while since you've done something.

Fit: This is the final, and possibly most difficult element of costuming. No matter how cool the design, how fancy the materials, and how good the construction, if something doesn’t fit right it’s going to look and feel wrong. Most of us here are making costumes for ourselves, which means you're going to need help. Measuring and fitting clothes on yourself is a nightmare, so enlist a friend or family member to give you a hand.

The other thing you can do it is to get a dress form/mannequin. These are pricey, and will probably need to be customized with padding and such anyways, so I recommend you DIY it. Again, you will need a helper, because the easiest way to get a custom dress form it to just straight up duct tape yourself into a crappy old shirt, cut it off, then stuff it. There’s tons of tutorials online for this, it’s a tried and true cheap method.

I highly recommend learning some basic pattern drafting, and that’s honestly the hardest part. You can rely on store bought patterns, but they are extremely variable in quality, and unless you’re in the rare minority who are a sample size, it will need some altering to fit you right. They can be a good starting point, but ultimately I think pattern drafting from scratch is much faster and more adaptable, if you're able to learn it. This is where you will need some good books or video instructions. I don’t have one single resource to recommend for this, but I will list some books at the end. If you personally know ANYONE with this skill, try and get them to teach you everything they know, because they are worth their weight on gold.

It’s important to note that some pattern drafting is easier than others, Stretch fabrics are MUCH more forgiving in this area, and that’s how i got started. Because the fabric will accommodate your form, the pattern requires fewer parts and darts, and there’s more leeway for mistakes. The one downside is that stretches can be more difficult to sew. Personally, I feel like they more than make up for it by being simplicity of drafting. The resources I’ve linked are geared toward drafting for non-stretch, but if you’re not following a similar tutorial i recommend stretch.

One last thing in regards to fit. ALWAYS MAKE A MOCKUP. You can work out so many fit issues just by making your costume in crappy material first, taking note of the fit issues, and adjusting them with pins, marking them with a sharpie, etc. Then you can change your pattern accordingly. Whether it’s a breastplate made of cardstock or a dress done in old sheets, you should always make a mockup. Sometimes several! The material doesn’t matter as long as it behaves roughly like the good stuff you plan on using. Don’t use a heavy blanket for if your costume is going to be a gauzy nymph robe, for example. But it doesn’t have to look nice. It just has to be wearable.

Resources:

*These are mostly tailored towards women’s garments. A lot of the same principles apply, but making men’s costumes will have some separate considerations not covered here. Just something to keep in mind if you want to draft for guys. These are all just starting points anyhow. There’s tons more out there

https://www.amazon.ca/Sewing-Book-Alison-Smith-2014-02-03/dp/B01JXQQ9Y2

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Sewing-Step-Step/dp/1606522086

https://www.handimania.com/diy/your-own-shape-sewing-mannequin.html

https://www.fearlessmakers.com/measurements-for-pattern-making/

https://opensourcestitches.wordpress.com/2010/07/14/pattern-drafting-101-drafting-the-basic-bodice-block/

https://opensourcestitches.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/pattern-drafting-101-the-mens-shirt-block/

http://isntthatsew.org/pattern-making-101/

https://sewing.wonderhowto.com/how-to/draft-basic-pant-pattern-0126850/

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/063206501X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1