#these bad dreams keep coming back | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skeletoninthemelonland · 2 years ago

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Violet and Purple are not the same color

#what you assume to be one thing doesn't mean it is #the first one is softer #it does seem confused? as if it forgot something important #hasn't slept well lately #can continue working on it tomorrow #these bad dreams keep coming back #Father said they are tied together #you can go separate ways and still be connected #I can't go to sleep #good night. good night. good night. good night. good night. good night.#tomorrow is another day #starbstalks

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kurthummeldeservesbetter · 2 months ago

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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.

It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.

#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick #the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep #this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding #their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit #one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it #and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart #they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences #the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away #and it’s just science and science and science #that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover #gets tf away from those two #arcane #arcane spoilers #viktor arcane #jayce talis #jayvik #jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki #Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore #AU sky doesn’t die btw #and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me #honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together #these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab

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corpsentry · 6 months ago

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black eyes

#my stuff #my writing #mein fucking goat i cannot keep having dreams about my ex and yet it is happening still #this is one of the less remarkable ones even. i’ve had two in the past month where i try desperately to give them a flatscreen tv #and one of those big ones too. like 40 inches across. i don’t own a flatscreen tv #i’ll admit it being in singapore is hitting me like a brick to the balls and i am grievously unwell #it’s like i come back and all the work i put in to deal with my anxiety and depression gets high in the woods and dies #but that’s not the point. the point is devoid of friends (in fucking america) and a hyperfixation (haven’t found anything that’s stuck)#i am full of nothing but yearning. good ol classic yearning. and i am so moved on from my ex but i keep trying to give them this fucking tv #!!!! ?????? huh????????????? mayne got………#a girlfriend or a cat would fix me. or leaving this country take your pick #working on it #i’ve made a to do list to combat my i have lost the will to do things problem #and on it is APPLY TO JOBS (note; outside singapore (note: outside america too))#i have a plan and it’s to get as far away as possible and live #we’re getting there #in the meantime here’s a funny poem #i was so. in the dream i actually wanted to see them which is crazy. top 10 bad fan characterizations #but it was a dream with a good color palette. all cool whites and grays and a deep deep blue for the night #cold cold white snow. etc. so of course i had to write about it #which i have done. and now i am going to sleep #good bye

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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago

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My current favourite crackship that I just created myself is Hiyori×Alive!Kuina. Just because if she can't get Zoro she'll just go for his cousin instead.

You're a genius. Your brain is huge. Please, let me kiss your brain. This is just amazing. I love lesbians. You're SO real-

Hiyori is easily one of my favorite characters and I love her SO much and people won't stop reducing her to her ship with Zoro. I think she doesn't need anybody and if she did want somebody it should be a girl. Because I say so. And Kuina is just,,, She would've been such a great character. Can't stop thinking about this fanart I found because it has changed my life for the better. She's in Wano to train to become the world's greatest swordsman and I'm just thinking about what if Kuina had been there to help them out too and she had been the one to save Hiyori all those times instead of Zoro.... Thinking thoughts. Like, of course, Hiyori and Zoro also have their moments because I do actually like their dynamic and I think she admires him a lot!! But you know. Kuina saves Hiyori a couple of times (when Zoro was going to do it, actually, she just appears like a second before him and ruins his moment) and Hiyori just melts. Because who wouldn't? Kuina would be so tall and strong and a sizeable woman, and I would personally die if she helped me save my country. Besides, I think they'd understand each other because both are women that have been reduced to that role specifically instead of their ambitions and their power and they're so much more. Hiyori was helpless when she had to see her country turn into this mess and she couldn't so anything else but to pretend,, Like-- If somebody knows how being a woman in the world works is Hiyori, and Kuina would understand. She'd admire Kuina so much for her abilities and her personality and ambitions!!!!!! And Kuina would absolutely love Hiyori's kindness and strength for being able to put up with so much!!!

Not to mention that Kuina would be taller than her,,, And bigger,,, And Hiyori would have to look up,, And this is now just the aesthetic part but God they'd look so different. That's Hiyori's guard dog. Wouldn't it be funny if Kuina were all serious and teasing with Zoro and like "*raises eyebrow* seriously?" type of masc girl, and the second Hiyori is around she turns into the happiest person in the world and extremely protective of her? Zoro judges her but he can't say shit because he's literally the same with Luffy (and Kuina teases him even more because she always has the upper hand and it makes him so angry). They're both down bad. Hiyori is just so nice to her and keeps saying she trusts her to become the world's greatest swordsman but even if she doesn't, she'll always have her heart and a place to stay in Wano. And I am weak, guys, I am so weak for lesbians.

Aghhh this is SO good. Somebody make them kiss. I- This is great. Oda could just say "ah yes Kuina actually escaped her hometown on her own and faked her death and traveled to Wano" and I'd believe him wholeheartedly because I want her back. I also want Hiyori back. I miss Wano sometimes a lot.

Also, Kuina sees Zoro with Enma and she goes:

Kuina: Oh cool, you got Hiyori's sword. Good luck with that one. Zoro: Do you want it or what? I am not giving it to you. You'll have to fight for it. Kuina: Nah, when I win our fight I want to win against the king of hell. Nothing less. Zoro: Where's the 'I can't win I'm a girl' bullshit now? Kuina: Stayed with the girl. Now I am a woman and I am going to beat your ass.

And Hiyori looking at them having the biggest lesbian moment in the world kicking her feet and blushing and Momo is next to her like "hehe you have a crush-" and he doesn't get to finish what he was saying because Hiyori hits him so fucking hard he faints. Don't tease her. Poor girl. She's in love, leave her alone.

#please i know i am the first one to explain the meaning behind kuina's death but the way op treats women is just not it and i want her again #also hiyori is the love of my life she's precious to me idc she's my princess i am in love with her #i thought this post would be only about a silly crackship but they're actually consuming my brain oh my god #and when kuina has to go away from wano because she has to go achieve her dream and she goes 'i don't expect you to wait for me but-'#and hiyori just holds her hands and says 'my mother waited. i've waited. and i will keep doing it as long as you come back to me'#or something like that. and i want to cry-#i am vibrating in my fucking chair god please i love them now i need more of them so fucking bad #one piece #kozuki hiyori #shimotsuki kuina #hiyoku??? kuiyori???#i have no idea what to call this ship tumblr do your thing somebody should choose the name for me i suck at this thing #roronoa zoro #zolu #bc zolu mention there and in my head it's a very common topic between kuina and zoro okay she won't stop teasing him about it #+

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clownjacket · 9 months ago

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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.

#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream #Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name #Brennan literally rolled #and we know she was in Porter’s office #so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it #Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene #Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM #Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP #know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple #Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive #knew her name #Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore #But #Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her #domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain #And idk #A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex #who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life #One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids #and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death #that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it #especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back #especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter #Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna #Please world let me have this I’m on my knees #dimension 20

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cottoncandylesbo · 7 months ago

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I forgot how exhausting it is to sob, actually scream cry. it feels good and bad. my eyelids sting. i keep trying to get up and do things but everything just makes me feel sick.

#i know grieving is kinda universally difficult but like #the last time i truly needed to grieve sometjing was so long ago #this feels new again and its so hard #i just. i just keep turning around expecting to see him there #waiting for me #like it was all a bad dream #because it all happened so fast.#the animal er visit was like two hours tops. i thought id take him and theyd fix him up #get him home #i had no idea i needed to make that decision on the spot #really i had like five minutes to think about what to do for him #it was nightmarish honestly maybe thats why its not sinking in #it just all felt so cruel #i dont. i didnt want to believe it to be true #i still donr #please come home to me max #please come back i dont care if you bite me or bark at me #please just let me see you one more time

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hirokiyuu · 7 months ago

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look at my alternate yuu concept boy

#i just think the idea of isekaing at age 22 and being shoved into high school is so funny. shes just here now #185cm makes her the same height as leona btw. nearly six foot one. absurdly tall #she did not have friends b4 twst bc she had a Lot of ppl approach her bc of her parents #was very good at keeping a polite distance and went a little insane in twst as a result #fails all her classes at nrc bc she is going home at the end of this to her Real life so who cares shes here for a Good time #girl w/no subconcious desire to stay in twst tho i do think itd be good for her in the long run #she wants to go back to her own reality bc she wants to finish her degree. she was so close #Everyone's Big Sister (self-proclaimed) and incredibly obnoxious abt it #gets on v well with kalim and lilia and then cater is there in the background like. Please Let Me Out.#shes in gargoyle research. malleus is a little brother to her and i think he actually does see her as family more than a romantic partner #WHICH IS RARE FOR ME im usually all abt malleus > yuu but here it makes sense. they are platonic. u kno how it is #book 7 is a really bad time for her bc she learns all of lilias backstory and realizes how much shit he wasnt telling her #as if she were telling him anything serious abt herself LMAO but him leaving w/o sayign + finding out his backstory from a dream is just. h #book 7 i think is whats solidifying her desire to return home. she has a place where she belongs and its not here.#anyways ironically despite how much ive written here + how much ive thought abt her shes only a secondary yuu. yjn comes first always <3 #i do really like her shes a lot of fun to think abt. very Messy and impulsive unlike yjn whos thoughtful and deliberate. u kno #god this was a tag essay. ok.#how do you art #twst oc #myuu stuff

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bonestrouslingbones · 19 days ago

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now realizing that i haven't seen an edgepuff fic any longer than a oneshot since fucking. 2022. and not even a oneshot since 2023. god.

#I CAN'T KEEP MAKING MY OWN FOOD WHEN I ONLY GET MOTIVATION TWICE A YEAR AND BURNT OUT FOR THE REST. SOMEBODY ELSE DO IT PLEASEEEEEEEEEE #coffee shop mafia au fic that i stopped commenting on bc of burnout pls come back................i miss u so bad...........................#sigh. it doesn't help that with selfcest fics ao3 search is borderline unusable i'm not gonna lie #click on any tag that even remotely specifies what ship it is and get sent to the papyrus/papyrus tag. its all spicyhoney now fuck you #then even if u grab the search function by the neck and force it to specify the actual ship nobody tags their shit consistently 😭😭#sometimes it's the actual word edgepuff by itself. sometimes it's edgepuff - relationship. sometimes it's Ut Papyrus/Uf Papyrus - Freeform #sometimes it's undertale papyrus/underfell papyrus. sometimes it's papyrus/underfell papyrus #all of these tags need to be manually typed out in the additional tags filter and you can only search one at a time #but no matter which tag it is the most recent fic is a 1 chapter smutfic from 2023 by someone who primarily writes fontcest #sometimes i hate my ability to happily sustain myself without needing anything new. things would be so simple if i could just Move On #alas if i had the ability to lose interest in things due to lack of content i would have left the undertale fandom by like 2018 #and well. happy new year #i kinda failed at my resolution to get more cringe on the normal blog last year tbh. maybe i should go even harder now to make up for it #i gotta talk about the intricacies of edge wanting to get dicked down by russ in the middle of snowdin forest on main. for my health #a full essay about russ's biting kink and why it makes their ship a whole different level of complex and compelling 2 me....i can dream

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cloudcountry · 1 year ago

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i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

#auburn's rambles <3 #i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot #and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel #like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was #like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD #THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT #idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand #my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her #and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore #and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet #anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight #FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here #muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams

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the-casbah-way · 1 month ago

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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry

#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad #i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad #trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself #idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out #but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it #i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk #like i’m not even supposed to know he existed #idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists #me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised #idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid #it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad #every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me #and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could #him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar #so i know he must have been special too #i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once #but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine #so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind #and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that #i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up #nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again #i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself #and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time #but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way #i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it #he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker #i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like #he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead #he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will

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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago

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every time. every time without fail, that i go on a Dethklok/Brendan's music overall binge as I have been lately. I find myself looking at my guitar like. If only i knew how. if only i could do it right. I could hold her and shred and have fun making music.

alas. my skills are too lacking*

*to clarify, I struggle to read music & learn by ear, but my memory also struggles with remembering chords/finger placements/tabs so even tho i can usually hear how a song should go enough to identify notes & whatnot, and can, with enough time spent noodling, eventually recreate it on guitar. That is not conducive nor useful in actually playing and getting better at it and makes it feel like an Impossible Task lmao.

#text post #tbh it probably is actually impossible bc like #i briefly got a few heavily discounted lessons re: voice guitar and piano w/my old hs choir teacher #and we had some heavy talks abt brains & things and #eventually he was like. u can *technically* play music and sing #ur voice is *unique* like tom waits or bob dylan (read: bad or considered bad by many at least lmao) but u CAN sing #and u can play piano & guitar *in theory* but not with enough understanding to get good at it #his concern kept coming back to my maths learning disability bc he thought that was also fucking up how my brain parses certain music things #and tbh? he's probably right lol #but still. i look to her my shining axe with strings in need of tuning but eager #and then i look away bc it's a nice dream. but im probably never going to be able to achieve any level of skill let alone mastery #I've tried so many times and my brain just can't keep all that info in & parse it all consistently. & it sucks but also it's ok #someday I'll pick her up again and attempt to play and let myself suck at it & b content with that #not today lmao but someday

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dreampearls · 2 years ago

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i really do enjoy nahida sooo much conceptually shes 100% my favorite archon i just wish she wasnt the lolibait oneeeeeeeeee