#these are really dumb things to complain about but i feel like garbage :c

[one-winged-dreams]

Woke up super fucking late and went to the store almost immediately, now I'm overwhelmed and stewing in anxiety, whaddahell man

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as ���this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-31

Mainline upd8 before the June break.  More Terezi!  That should put me in a better mood. (1 edit (2020-06-01) since posting)

> CHAPTER 10. 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3

Wait, fuzzily waking up seeing the new planet?

Wait, why is the site background still black?

Wait, is this one of the new alien race members just created?

That would explain the chapter title.  (Especially if they were part plant, but Terezi would say that regardless, when you think about it.)

> ==>

Coming more into focus.

> ==>

Oh!  Back to the normal background.

TEREZI: W3LL

She’s not the one seeing this, so is this an alien perspective or does Rose’s visual processing take a while to turn back on post-warranty-breach?

> ==>

Huh?  It WAS her point of view?

So this:

--is just an attempt at rendering her smell-o-vision?

I know her sense of smell is supposed to be amazing, but this is MARKEDLY less paint-like than previous depictions of her smell-o-vision.  See for comparison:

Was this an intentional difference in clarity? Laziness? Her scent-vision being sharper?  They’re practically making us feel like her eyes are healed again, which would be disastrous, and not something even Ultimate Rose should necessarily be capable of.

(I’m inclined to give them less credit than usual today, though, so a poor visual choice most likely.)

TEREZI: TH4T W4S PR3TTY FUCK1NG STUP1D

Hate-screwing Rosebot?  Why?

I guess it’d leave you sore.

> ==>

TEREZI: F4LL1NG 4SL33P H3R3 1S JUST 4SK1NG FOR TROUBL3

Oh.  Are the new races - or their precursor “experiments” running around?

> ==>

TEREZI: NODD1NG OFF L1K3 TH4T UND3RN34TH 4N 4RBOR34L 4MBUL4TOR TEREZI: WHO KNOWS WH4T COULD H4V3 H4PP3N3D TEREZI: Y34H 4LR1GHT, 4LR1GHT TEREZI: G3T OFF MY C4S3 4BOUT 1T ALR34DY TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 D1D 1T ON PURPOS3

Is Terezi talking to her other selves or something?  Or another brain ghost?

TEREZI: W3R3 JUST LUCKY TH3R3 1SNT 4NY W1ND 4T TH3 MOM3NT TEREZI: 1V3 3ST4BL1SH3D TH4T TH1S 1S WHY TH3Y MOV3 TEREZI: TH3 4MBUL4TORS 4R3 PL4NTS IN THE STR1CT S3NS3, BUT EXH1B1T LOCOMOT1V3 B3H4V1OUR DU3 TO TH31R UN1QU3 CONSTRUCT1ON

Ooh, moving trees.  Nice.

TEREZI: TH3 M41N BODY OF THE PL4NT CONS1STS OF A N3TWORK OF HOLLOW, TUB3LIKE GROWTHS THROUGH WH1CH 41R M4Y TR4V3L TEREZI: TH3S3 N3TWORKS 4R3 SO SOPH1ST1C4T3D TH4T TH3 SH1FT1NG PR3SSUR3 1NS1D3 TH3 TRUNK 4ND BR4NCH3S C4N C4US3 TH3 3NT1R3 PL4NT TO UPROOT 1TS3LF 4ND B3G1N "W4LK1NG", PROV1D3D TH3 COND1T1ONS 4R3 R1GHT TEREZI: TH1S PROC3SS, WH1L3 M4J3ST1C, C4N H4V3 DR4ST1C 3FF3CTS ON TH3 PL4NTS SURROUND1NGS

I know you like to eat them, but when did your analysis of plantlife get so clinical?  Do you have Aranea blabbing in your ear or something?

Oh.  OH, wait.  They have a Command Station.  Is Rose communicating with her remotely via that, and Terezi is just Dave-like vocalizing everything Rose punches into the terminal?  Then that would be Terezi arguing with HER out loud.  And the sudden transition of talk to “I’ve established that this is why they move.” is very Rose-sounding.

> ==>

That lil’ “hup” pose to jump over the gap Terezi’s making is adorable.  Also, those are bad failed experiments y’all have created and you should feel bad, Rose and Dirk.  (Rose is definitely to blame for this spider-bunny nightmare.)

TEREZI: HUP!

Hup

TEREZI: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 >:O

They look like they’d taste like bee spiders with inedible stuffing throughout.

Trolls do find grubs of most sorts appetizing though.

> ==>

TEREZI THOSE ARE NO REASON TO BE HAPPY

> ==>

Yeah, beautiful field-shot aside I feel pretty bad for that creation.  Looks miserable.

> ==>

Now they’re just mashing up consorts.  Are they TRYING to populate the planet with weird garbage for the final products to eat?  (Or fight? Hard-troll-childhood style?)

> ==>

THAT THING IS NO REASON TO LOOK SO HAPPY EITHER REZI

Gosh, at least she’s having fun though.

> ==>

You’re ignoring Onionsan, Terezi

> ==>

I wonder what lazy name this Horsisaur has.

Fun abandoned. Survival instincts fully engaged. Terezi runs.

She throws backward sniffs over her shoulder as she tears through the scrubby cling of the planet’s undergrowth, catching fractured impressions of exactly what has decided to chase her. A shuddering, 20 foot monstrosity that somehow seems to both scamper and glide, like a centipede, rustling like foliage as it moves, as if an entire goddamn forest is bearing down on her.

Between the game and Alternia, you shouldn’t be TOO rusty at this, right?

The problem with using smells to navigate the world is that the unfamiliar can be difficult to parse. Every whiff over her shoulder gives her another blurry glimpse of what this beast is.

Yeah, smell is a little slower on the pickup than sight.

Rose shared her books with Terezi when she was on the ship, and her favorite by far was the compendium of the zoologically dubious. Everything contained inside was just so unbelievably unlikely. This creature appears to be a combination of all of them.

Really? What we see of it doesn’t look THAT weird.  But we only see about half of it from this angle, so.

--Twisted ankle?  Come on, you’re not THAT rusty.

> ==>

It’s fear, pure and simple. Unsurprising, when being menaced by a monster, but it also doesn’t last for more than a second. A cold flame that instantly burns itself out, and all of a sudden she is just deeply, impossibly, indescribably tired. Down to her bones.

You’re already giving up??!?

Honestly, she really has no right to feel this... this fatigue. This crushing embrace of endless struggle. Terezi Pyrope has not had an easy life by anyone’s standards, but so much of her thirteen or so sweeps has just been standing still. Waiting. Huddling blind and half dead in her recuperacoon, the sopor burning the hideous mess that the sun has left her eyes, alight with a hatred so layered and intense that she couldn’t make sense of it.

Dammit, do we have to go SO EXHAUSTINGLY DEEPLY into EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER’S PTSD?!??

It was horrifying--that pain or fury--but also, admittedly, very boring. Then there were the sweeps on the meteor, the endless, gelatinous stretches of time in the chaos of the outer ring, searching for... Vriska, ostensibly, but also maybe just for a chance to dry up. To disappear. Go extinct.

Terezi doesn’t know if it’s an attribute of her aspect, or the sheer psychic damage of spending so long in the company of two humans with god complexes. Maybe it’s just an inherited symptom of being conscious. But sometimes it feels like none of them are going to get out of this, alive or dead.

Fuck, apparently we are.  These writers don’t know how to let up.  Can’t we get a little more retroactive dwelling on how FUN some of their lives up til now were?  And then... maybe NOT only do that to contrast with how depressed they are now??  There was SO much delight in Homestuck amidst the hardship, and if you’re going to show us more of the hardship you have to show us more of the delight, too, or everything just gets pointlessly dark.

--ah, Rose redirected the command console to point to the monster and stopped it that way.

ROSE: I am devastated to report that those are really more vines than tentacles, and even worse, they aren’t mine.

Pff.

...Poking fun at the terminology for Patron Trolls, at this late date of all times.

TEREZI: D4V3 4ND 1 H4D 4 LOT 1N COMMON B4CK TH3N, OR 4T L34ST 1T F3LT L1K3 W3 D1D ROSE: As I have come to understand it, for a while at least, we were all being steered in the right direction by a debatably benevolent force. ROSE: One imposed on us by the game itself, even if we had yet to enter it. TEREZI: ... ROSE: You don’t believe me. TEREZI: NO, 1 DO TEREZI: 1T SOUNDS 1NCR3D1BLY DUMB AND UNL1K3LY BUT SO DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3 TH4T H4PP3NS TO 4NY OF US

Terezi, don’t you know at least half as much about Skaia as anyone else here? Isn’t that what she’s talking about?

TEREZI: SO YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 S4M3 TH1NGS TO TH3S3 CR34TUR3S TH4T SOM3 OTH3R CR34TUR3S D1D TO YOU 4ND YOUR FR13NDS ROSE: I suppose that is a fair assessment. Although we were not our own creators. It was John who— DIRK: I hate to break up the recap episode, but we need to deal with this situation before it gets out of hand.

Wait, she’s talking about the Exiles?  Terezi TOLD Dave about the exiles helping them.  SHE was the one who told us how that worked!  Although I guess you could chalk her questions up to her not knowing one of those “terminals” was involved.

TEREZI: 4ND HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3 4NYW4Y? DIRK: I have administrative privileges. TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4DM1N1STR4T1V3 PR1V1L3G3S TO MY P4LMHUSK DIRK: Yes.

Was Terezi dictating to her palmhusk earlier?  Why was she talking for Rose’s part of the conversation earlier, but not now?  Was that a mistake?  Or did Rose switch off the terminal, despite her apparent confusion with the terminal now???

Opinion of HS^2... dropping... keep it together stop judging the comic so hard... NOT dropping off in quality... shh brain! Shoosh!!!

(Seriously though, don’t put ANY asks in my inbox about HS^2 dropping off in quality, even as much as I’M starting to complain.  Gotta keep my hopes up to keep enjoying myself as I keep going.)

ROSE: Don’t let it get to you. My father has a habit of appearing in places he’s not wanted.

You’re seriously just CALLING him that now?!??

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives.

Ah, that’s why you used the terminology.

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives. ROSE: Of course. I’ll take care of it. DIRK: Appreciate it. TEREZI: 1 W1SH YOU WOULDN’T DO TH4T WH3R3 1 C4N S33 1T DIRK: Do what? TEREZI: TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU G3T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT M3 TO DO WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOU W4NT TH3M TO TEREZI: M1ND CONTROL

Oh, damn.  That was a creepy order, then.  And is Rose STILL not wise to it?  Can Terezi and Dirk just TALK about the narrative control IN FRONT OF ROSE and have her not recognize it because of said control??? :C

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON DIRK: You can make more boots. TEREZI: 1M NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 BOOTS, NOOKBR34TH TEREZI: 1 MEAN TH3 M3N4G3R13 FROM H3LL DIRK: Well, we’ve encountered a couple bumps along the road. TEREZI: YOU DONT S4Y

This is fun, but I can’t help but notice that Rose has completely stopped talking.  Fuck having Dirk flaunt this even harder just ups the creepiness even more.

TEREZI: YOU GUYS R34LLY SUCK 4T TH1S DIRK: Yeah, agreed. TEREZI: ... TEREZI: WOW, TH4T W4S MUCH L3SS P41NFUL 4ND LONG-W1ND3D TH4N 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG 1T TO B3 DIRK: What was? TEREZI: CONV1NC1NG YOU TH4T 4LL OF TH3S3 "D3S1GNS" TH4T YOU H4V3 COM3 UP W1TH SUCK SH1T TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD T3LL M3 TH4T 4LL OF 1T 1S P4RT OF SOM3 "GR4ND PL4N" TEREZI: TH4T TH3Y SUCK ON PURPOS3 OR SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T DIRK: Well, it is a part of the grand plan. And they do suck on purpose. DIRK: But not on my purpose. DIRK: It’s Rose. She is remarkably bad at this. Voluntarily. TEREZI: DO YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S TRY1NG TO S4BOT4G3 4LL OF YOUR GR4ND CR34T1ONS TEREZI: OH POW3RFUL GOD PR1NC3? DIRK: No, she’s playing the game. That part hasn’t been a problem. DIRK: I mean she is just making incredibly nonsensical decisions and refusing to back down, even when I up the ante to preposterous levels. DIRK: You should see some of the shit she’s come up with. I’m pretty sure I watched a vagina on legs walk by this morning. TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 S4W TH4T ON3 DIRK: Despite her initial resistance, Rose has gone completely feral. TEREZI: YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S H4V1NG FUN DIRK: Yes.

You loosened her morals so she’d be conscience-free to go full zoological playground, and she’s GOING full zoological playground.  What did you expect?

TEREZI: 4ND WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH 4 L1TTL3 B1T OF FUN YOUR H1GHN3SS? DIRK: Nothing. I got absolutely no problem with having a good time while we see to the boring and altogether completely frivolous task of seeding the future of this planet. DIRK: But she really TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT3D H3R TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO HOLD YOU B4CK, 1NST34D OF TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND DIRK: No, that's not it. TEREZI: YES, 1 TH1NK 1T 1S 1T

What?  “Holding her back”?  How did this suddenly become about Dirk’s insecurity at his ectobiological skill?

DIRK: By project, do you mean that I expect Rose to be too much like myself? TEREZI: NO, 1 M34N TH3 OPPOS1T3 TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT H3R TO B3 B3TT3R TH4N YOU TEREZI: YOU W4NT H3R TO PR3V3NT 4LL OF YOUR WORST T3ND3NC13S. TH3 W4Y 1 US3D TO W1TH VR1SK4 WH3N W3 W3R3 MO1R41LS

--Oh, you meant hold them back from going TOO FAR.  I see.  And also, the way Terezi and Vriska were “moirails” is the WORST example, and thus quite fitting to relate to this situation.  For their brief pale stint, Terezi never really STOPPED Vriska from doing ANYTHING. She just supported Vriska, while Vriska spewed some flattery Terezi’s way... and then proceeded to do whatever the fuck she wanted. Sometimes without telling her.  It was an AWFUL example of proper moirallegiance, as I covered in the above link.

Dirk wouldn’t know about that, though.  And neither does Terezi, apparently, unless she’s just not admitting it.

(EDIT: Also, Rose never had the slightest chance of ever holding Dirk back like she might have wanted because DIRK MIND CONTROL OVERRIDES HER EVERY TIME SHE HAS RESERVATIONS. The only way a moirallegiance can work at all is if the one being held back is WILLING to listen. Dirk has deliberately and continuously suppressed Rose's ability to even THINK about dissuading him from literally any course of action.)

TEREZI: YOUR3 3XP3CT1NG ROS3 TO C4TCH YOU WH3N YOU GO TOO F4R TEREZI: SH3 1SNT GO1NG TO DO TH4T, 1 DONT TH1NK TEREZI: 1N F4CT, 1 TH1NK SH3 1S MOR3 L1K3LY TO GO TOO F4R TH4N YOU 4R3 DIRK: What makes you say that? TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW TEREZI: JUST 4 F33L1NG, 1 GU3SS. 1 M1GHT NOT B3 4 GOD-MODD3D DORK 1N COSPL4Y, BUT 1M ST1LL A S33R TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4VE SP3NT W4Y MOR3 T1M3 W1TH TH3 TWO OF YOU TH4N 4LMOST 4NYON3 ELSE, WH1CH 1S 1NCR3D1BLY D3PR3SS1NG TO TH1NK 4BOUT

Guh.  A real pair of villains.  Is that REALLY why you brought Rose, Dirk?

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, 1F YOU DONT L1K3 TH3 W4Y ROS3 1S DO1NG TH1NGS WHY DONT YOU JUST NOT-M1ND CONTROL H3R 1NTO DO1NG 1T TH3 R1GHT W4Y TEREZI: PROBL3M SOLV3D DIRK: I’ve made the decision to freehand this one. I’m not planning to influence Rose’s decision in any part of the contest. Otherwise it’s too easy, and barely worth doing at all.

Obviously.  And you can’t argue her down the normal way because she was NEVER someone to listen to someone like you in a direct confrontation without any misleading subterfuge.  You would’ve had to Doc Scratch it.

DIRK: So you’re saying you want me to mind-control Rose. TEREZI: NO, 1M S4Y1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 4 COW4RD TEREZI: P3RH4PS 1 W1LL T3LL H3R TH4T YOU H4V3 B33N WH1SP3R1NG YOUR STR4NG3 L1TTL3 1NC4NT4T1ONS 1N H3R 34R OV3R TH3 L4ST F3W SW33PS TEREZI: L1K3 4 CR33PY W31RDO DIRK: No, you won’t. If you were going to, you would have already.

Are you talking about the narrative mind control or are you talking about something else?  Something weirder?  Because calling them “strange little incantations” sounds like he’s been doing some creepily Doc-Scratchy grooming to her like how Doc kinda rage-controlled the trolls to write his genetic code on their walls in their most vulnerable moments.

DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit. TEREZI: NO, 1 TH1NK SH3 W1LL B3 CONFL1CT3D TEREZI: UNL3SS YOU M1ND-CONTROL H3R NOT TO B3 DIRK: Not mind control. TEREZI: WH4T3VER!

And that’s just it.  Rose WOULD have been very conflicted about MUCH of this if you hadn’t used your narrative control to override all her inhibitions.  So instead you get the version of her who would have gone with your plans without hesitation, which is the WORST version of her.  And she doesn’t even have a choice to be better.

Alright, that’s the end of the upd8.  See y’all!  Maybe a bit after the commentary goes up for this (already has for the Influencers bonus) I’ll cover the commentary on both this and the bonus, but that’ll be in at least a few days.  Ciao

[laboratorium2d]

Children's Animated Series, As Graded by a Parent Who Has Watched Far Too Many of Them

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The brony thing is legitimately weird, but this is legitimately a great show. The combination of epic-fantasy plots with a deep dive on friendship is a winner (and has also been deeply influential on kids' television). It also makes the obligatory pro-social messages feel earned, rather than an afterthought. The characters are charming, the writing sparkles, and the animation is still distinctive. Endlessly watchable, which is a good thing when your kid wants to watch endlessly. Fake holidays: Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming Eve, Hearts and Hooves Day. Grade: A+

Avatar: I was fifteen years too old for this when it was on TV, so I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I do. It's epic but not grandiose, funny but not dumb, and morally deep without giving into plot gravity. The world-building, the writing, the animation, the voice-acting, the fight scenes, the side characters: everything works, and everything is pulling in the same direction. (The sequel series, The Legend of Korra, is more of the same, with an interestingly updated setting and better music.) If your kids are like mine, they'll want to talk about everything, and so will you. I guess binge-watching is a family thing now. Grade: A+

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: This show is so gay. However gay you expect it to be, it's ten times gayer. It's also pro-diversity along every axis you can imagine, including body-type. It's completely awesome. It captures the uncannily compelling techno-fantasy atmosphere of the original, and it has characters with the same names, but otherwise it's a total gut rehab. The character studies at its core are compelling, even as the overall plot and action hold a young child's interest. It takes lots of anime animation tropes and tones them down to the verge of naturalism, which I wouldn't have thought would work, but totally does. Grade: A-

Wild Kratts: The big kid was learning biology from this show almost from before she could talk. "Giraffe. Long neck. Eat leaves." The premise of the show is genius: animated versions of veteran kids' wildlife-show hosts Chris and Martin Kratt have suits that give them "creature powers," and they travel around the world having adventures with animals. The science is legit and it's presented entertainingly. And the characters are winners, especially the creature-suit inventor Aviva Corcovado and the colorful villains. The only thing consistently annoying about this show is that it can be shouty. Everyone is Just! So! Excited! About! Animals! Grade: A-.

Phineas and Ferb: The Arrested Development of kids' animation, Phineas and Ferb is impossibly dense with overlapping plots, brick jokes, and a large army of recurring minor characters. Every episode features an original song, some of which are genuinely brilliant ("Squirrels in My Pants" is a household favorite). It is also a wholly, completely sweet-hearted show. Even the antagonists -- Candace and Dr. Doofenshmirtz -- are sympathetic, charming, fully-realized, and allowed to grow and be happy in ways that a lesser version of this show would never even have realized was a possibility. The allegretto pacing and intricate writing keep the show consistently fresh. New Disney at its best. Grade: A-

Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom: From the same team who brought you Peppa Pig, but even drier underneath its treacly trappings. The comedic timing is straight out of classic British sketch comedy. The voice actors are clearly in on the joke, which if anything makes the show more fun to listen to than to watch. B+

Dinosaur Train: Sometimes high concepts work. The show 100% owns its message: dinosaur physiology is a diversity metaphor, presented with just the right degree of insistence. The characters are sketched with grace and sympathy, and the science is pitched just right for its target audience. Over the years, the show (like all railfans) has gotten increasingly obsessed with its train equipment: the aquacar, the submarine, the ... zeppelin. The songs are surprisingly catchy, too: our favorite is probably the Dinosaur Train Zeppelin song, which, yes, is a Led Zeppelin pastiche. Grade: B+

Odd Squad: This one really grew on me. If all you've seen is short clips, it just seems like everyone is shouting about math all the time. But the show overall is delightfully goofy, with a real sense of how to string along a running gag, and some genuinely talented child actors. Grade: B+

Creative Galaxy: Despite being a total Daniel Tiger rip-off, down to the animation style, the obligatory song in every episode, and the live-action codas, this one is actually kind of nice. The art projects are well-chosen both to interest kids and also to actually be doable. Fake holidays: Heart Day. Grade: B

Peppa Pig: It took me a long time to appreciate this show's arch sense of humor. Everyone's pretensions and ambitions are punctured; embarrassing mistakes and small indignities await adults at every turn. Once you realize that the show is making fun of most of its characters but loves them anyway, it's much more bearable. Grade: B

Curious George: Entirely forgettable, with two mildly redeeming qualities. George himself is as charming as always, and the jazzy musical score is pleasant. Grade: B-

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir: It took me a while to understand what this show was doing. It's very, very French. Grade: C+

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Even my kids recognize that Daniel Tiger is needy and whiny. The show inadvertently teaches kids what to be afraid of and how to misbehave. There is also something deeply wrong with the economy of the Neighborhood: everyone seems to have multiple jobs and the public transit system runs on magic. On the plus side, the potty song has come in handy as a reminder: when you have to go potty, stop and go right away. Fake holidays: Love Day, Snowflake Day, Dress Up Day. Grade: C+

Ready Jet Go: I suppose there's some science in here somewhere, I guess. Grade: C+

Tumble Leaf: Reviewers might call this one "gentle," by which they mean "boring." The animation is lovely and the music is calming. But what's the point? Grade: C+

PAW Patrol: Unbelievably, incredibly formulaic. For example: have you noticed that they get in their trucks at exactly the same point halfway through each episode? Just Canadian enough to be noticeably off, but also rah-rah in a George W. Bush-administration kind of way. Sometimes I imagine grown-up versions of the pups. Chase regularly engages in police brutality, Rubble has a drinking problem, and Marshall has joined the alt-right. Grade: C

Nature Cat: Nature Cat is annoying and his friends are worse. I'm not clear on what they're supposed to be learning. And the theme song manages to be both unmemorable and an earworm. Make it stop! Grade: C

Super Why: More like Super Why Does This Exist, amirite? The whole show is oddly paced: I find the story-within-a-story structure confusing and can only wonder how much of it kids actually get. Having each character deal with a different aspect of literacy leaves the show's educational content unfocused. And the Super Letters are like the world's lamest game of Wheel of Fortune. Plus the song is an earworm, and not in a good way. Grade: C

Sofia the First: Empty Disney calories, this show is the reductio ad absurdum of Disney's democratization of the idea of "princess." The plotting, the writing, and the music are technically proficient. The cel-shading effects that give 3D animation the luminosity of 2D hand drawn are lovely. The messages are perfectly innocuous. But the heart of the show is a giant gaping void. Fake holidays: Wassailia. Grade: C

Lion Guard: More empty Disney calories, like Sofia the First but with more obnoxious characters. Inexplicably real holiday: Christmas. Grade: C-

Peg + Cat: All I can remember is that the show is inexplicably drawn on graph paper, and they have a BIG BIG PROBLEM every few seconds. When people complain about STEM, and I remember that this show exists, I have to admit that they have a point. Grade: C-

Martha Speaks: The AV Club's term for this kind of show is "least essential." Even by the standards of kids' shows, the premise makes no sense. Nobody here, human or canine, is remotely sympathetic. And the plot comes to a screeching halt every time it's time for a new vocabulary word. Grade: C-

WordWorld: I have so many questions about this show. If everything is made out of words, what about the ground? The sky? Windows? And what are the letters in the words made of? What is going on with the accents? And who greenlit three seasons of this garbage? Grade: D+

The Adventures of Puss in Boots: This is a weird, weird show. And not in a good way. Grade: D+

Trolls: The Beat Goes On: Quite possibly the most misanthropic kids show currently streaming anywhere. The combination of grimdark setting and hackneyed uplifting plot tropes is somewhere between unsettling and child abuse. Poppy is a walking illustration of emotional labor; Branch has severe PTSD. The show treats both of these as laughable quirks. And I am never going to get used to the Auto-Tune. Grade: D+

Kung-Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny: Pretty much your standard DreamWorks animation. This is not a good thing. Grade: D

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie: The animation and voice-acting are innocuous. But building an entire show around the "if X, then Y" formula led to some disastrous choices. The show taught my big kid how to say things like, "If I see a rock, I just have to bring it home with me." It takes a special kind of kids show to affirmatively instill bad habits. Grade: D-

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2018): An absolute travesty in every possible way. The remake is the direct opposite of everything the original represented: crude instead of clever, manic instead of playful, and mean instead of goofy. Grade: F-

[themandadolorian]

Paz Vizla NSFW Alphabet

Originally posted by coredrive

A/N: okay tumblr was being dumb so I had to re-upload. So yeah, here is my - what is sure to be hot pile of garbage that I wrote at midnight last night lol. Listerally this is by far the most sinful thing I’ve ever written/posted so please don’t come for me. It took everything in me to post this in the first place 🙈

Warnings below the cut

Warnings: Pretty self explanatory? Y’all know how these things work. Smut, Paz has a breeding kink (obvi), and yeah. It’s just a bunch of sin y’all. I’m a hoe for Paz okay?

///

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Okay, as we all know Paz may appear intimidating and brutish, but he is a total fucking teddy bear and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. No matter how slow, sensual, rough, or fast he takes you, he will ALWAYS make sure you are taken care of afterwards. Whether it’s just a warm cloth or a full on shower he will make sure you are both clean before slipping under the covers and pulling  you into his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Okay I feel like Paz is like an ass and thighs kinda guy. I know, I know - super stereotypical guy stuff but like?? He has really big hands okay? And he loves to just grab handfuls of you and squeeze you. He loves wrapping his hands around your thighs and picking you up and pressing you to the wall when neither of you are patient enough to make it to the bed. But he also loves just taking handfuls of your ass in his palms as he fucks down into you.

OOF.

Yeah Paz is definitely an ass and thighs kind of guy.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Okay - BITCH. We ALL KNOW that this big blue bastard has a fucking breeding kink, something that I will discuss further down the alphabet lol. So like his favorite place to cum is definitely inside you. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t on contraceptive (and have had the appropriate baby talk lol).

But despite that being his fave place, I definitely think he has a thing for seeing it on you too. I believe Paz is a very uh…territorial man - and if he’s in the right kinda mood I don’t think he would hesitate to

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Oof okay so thanks to @stubbychaos and @hdlynn for helping me with this one bc I was struggling lol. But this man DEF has a thing for wanting to be the submissive one sometimes. He’s never done it before but he’s always wanted to try it. But he will never for the life of him bring it up to you on his own. He has a reputation to uphold you know? But if you mention it first one day? Lord help him, he won’t hesitate before complying. You being in charge in the bedroom instead of him? Cuffing his hands together and magnetizing them to the hull so he has to beg to touch you?

Phew…yeah he’s into that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Paz is pretty experienced. I think he definitely knows what he’s doing in the bedroom when it comes to the act itself. HOWEVER - I don’t think this man has been in a lot of long term relationships? I feel like that is new to him,so while he knows what he’s doing and how to pleasure you, he is still learning the romantic dynamics lol.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

I definitely take Paz as a no-nonsense kind of guy, when he’s with you in that way (no matter how y’all are doing it lol) he wants to make sure you are getting the pleasure you deserve. And when he’s making love to you? Forget it man. This dude is so fucking serious and soft and just UGH. I don’t think he takes it lightly I guess is what I’m trying to say. Especially if you haven’t sworn the riddurok yet - being that vulnerable with you and placing that much trust in you takes a lot and I don’t think either of you really jokes around in the actual moment.

But Paz is definitely a funny guy. He won’t hesitate to tease you or cast a dirty comment your way when he has the chance. While he takes your relationship seriously he also has a sense of humor - especially leading up to the moment itself.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don’t think Paz really thinks about stuff like that tbh. His life is hectic - he has a job to do and people to protect so I don’t think he concerns himself with stuff like that. Really the only grooming he tries to keep up with is his facial hair, he makes sure to keep it neat under the helmet because if he didn’t it just causes him irritation. But he makes sure not to go completely clean shaven simply because he relishes in the noises you make when his scruff scrapes along the tender skin of your neck when he leaves kisses there - or even better - when it brushes along the inside of your thighs. Yeah, those noises are his favorite.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think Paz is a total romantic and you can’t change my mind.

Like i said before, he’s never really done the long term relationship thing so he wants to do it right ya know? He’s always checking to make sure you’re okay and enjoying what he’s doing. Whispering sweet words of praise and pleasure into your ears as he thrusts into you. He just loves to be with you in every way possible, touching you, holding you - anything.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

He travels alot, and sometimes he’s away from you for longer than usual. This results in some more….depraved evenings alone in the refresher. It’s even worse when you send him a particularly lewd hologram of yourself. Then he definitely can’t help himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay - here we go friends. I am finally going to address two anonymous asks I have gotten in this section, SO:

●      Breeding kink: This man has one, plain and simple. He honestly discovered it by accident once when he saw you holding one of the foundlings in the covert, rocking it to sleep. From that moment he was a goner. The minute you walked into your shared quarters, he had stripped you both down and was on you the moment you were bare before him. Just the thought of you, belly swollen with his child? A future Mandalorian to carry on his name? Yeah. the minute that image crosses his mind he’s gone - spending himself inside you before pulling you to his chest and rolling onto his side, never leaving you the entire time.

●      Biting/Marking: Again, another ask I received that I have been gaining the courage to post lol. As stated earlier, Paz is somewhat territorial and kind of protective. He in no way sees you as some kind of property, but when you are together, he wants everyone to know. The morning After a night of passion when he returns from a mission, he sees the bruises on your hips and the dark purple marks on your breasts and neck and he almost takes you again right then and there. From that moment, he makes it a personal mission of his to leave behind at least a couple pieces of evidence. Not that you are complaining of course.

●      Okay this one is kinda mean I think but - idk why - but I think this man has a thing for making you cry 🙈 Obviously this isn’t in a bad or painful kind of way. More, he wants to see you cry out in pure euphoria. You’ve gone several rounds, and he’s pulled more than a few orgasms out of you and that’s when he sees the wet trails down your cheeks.The first time he was worried - afraid that he had hurt you ror pushed you too far, but you explained that it was just that good - OOOO this man just keeps on going.

●      Finally, working off that last one, Paz 100% has a praise kink. He just absolutely loves hearing your gasps of pleasure and encouragement to ‘keep going’ or ‘just like that Paz, maker-!’. It just spurs him on because he knows he’s doing at least one thing right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Paz definitely prefers either your quarters on the ship or in the covert. He doesn’t really like wearing the helmet when you are together like that and the only place he feels safe enough to remove the helmet is in those two places. Plus, it’s just more comfortable.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

YOU WEARING HIS SHIRTS. That man turns feral if he sees you in one of his shirts. The way it’s so large on you yet only comes to about mid-thigh? Yeah, that is an instant turn on for him 100%.

Also as weird as this might sound he absolutely loves it when you tease him. Mainly because he knows when you do that, that neither of you are aiming for a soft experience lol. Usually when you tease him by wearing those tiny shorts you own or by flirting with someone else just to get his attention, you all won’t even make it back to the safety of your quarters.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Paz will not do ANYTHING that involves hurting you. Period. One of his biggest fears is accidentally hurting or losing the ones he loves, so there is no way he will intentionally cause you pain or harm. I think the only exception to that would be like spanking? But he only does that if you beg him too. But absolutely no knife play, etc…

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man will Happily go down on you. And he’s definitely skilled at it. Honestly I think going down on you is probably one of his favorite things and he does it every chance he gets. Because not only does it bring you pleasure, but he loves the way you taste and the way your fingers pull at his hair as you beg him for release….yeah it’s just all around a good time for every one lol.

He also likes receiving but I think he definitely prefers to give rather than receive.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again I think he’s both. However, I think he leans towards fast and rough, mainly because sometimes all you both have time for is a quick bout before he’s off to his next responsibility or job. But don’t put it past the man to make that up to you. He is always slow and sensual when he gets the chance. Taking his time to touch you and explore every inch of you in an effort to memorize the expanse of your skin and the things that make you tick.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As stated above, I think quickies can be a regular occurrence between you two, but I also don’t see them happening like all the time, if that makes sense?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think Paz is game to try out some new stuff. Again as long as it’s nothing that could harm either one of you, I don’t think he would mind straying from his comfort zone.. Especially if you’re the one asking.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Listen…this man FUCKS. Like a lot and for a really long ass time. Like each round may not last like super duper long (unless he’s feeling like a tease then he will drag each one out as long as possible) but this man can go so many rounds. He fucking loves it too.

Sometimes you won’t even have time to catch your breath before Paz is ready to go again and there are tears in your eyes as he just continues to rail into you despite you both having reached your highs several times. This man’s stamina is like no other y’all.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don’t think Paz is really into toys himself. I mean if it’s something that you want to do/try he won’t say no but I don’t see him being the one to seek them out or own them. And if he did use one it would definitely be on his partner rather than himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Honestly? Paz can be such a fucking tease. I don’t think it’s something he does like all the time or anything but if he’s in a particular mood or you’ve been a brat all day, he will not hesitate to be unfair as hell. Like just going until you are right on the edge of release and then stopping completely, making you cry out in frustration before picking up again and doing the same thing over and over again. He pretty much won’t stop until your sobbing beneath him begging him to let you cum. Them and only then will he relent and finally, finally, get you to that point of release, following not far behind you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

hmmm…I feel like he definitely has a thing for an SO that is smaller than him. More in the sense that they are just shorter. He likes to tease you or put things on taller shelves so you have to ask for his help. But he also loves it because it makes it easier to pick you up and toss you onto the bed. Or, since he’s a lot larger than most people, he loves the way his hands look on your body. The way they just like engulf you and make you shiver - yeah idk. But he’s into that lol.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Do I really even have to say it? Because I feel like we all know lol. But Paz is not lacking in that department at ALL. This man is very blessed, well-endowed, whatever the hell you want to call it okay? Honestly the first time you see it you’re a little bit concerned for your own well being lol.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty fucking high lol. Paz is a horny bitch and that’s a hill I will die on.

He just loves being with you and near you in any way possible, but he especially loves being with you in this way. As stated several times before, having never been in many relationships, he relishes in the trust and vulnerability that he is allowed to have with you. But beyond all of that kind of stuff he just loves pleasuring you. Loves hearing the whines and gasps you let out as he fucks you. He loves the way your hands grip his shoulders or the way your nails rake down his back, reminding him the next day how much you enjoyed it. Yeah, Paz fucks okay? And he enjoys it a lot lol.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I don’t think he’s one of those people to just konk out afterwards lol. But he also doesn’t stay awake for too long. He will make sure you are both cleaned up before slipping back into bed next to you, pulling you to his chest and running his hand gently up and down your back. Tracing every little dip and curve of your body, until your breathing evens out and your warm breath fans over his chest. This is usually when he will fall asleep. He will drift off to your steady breaths and the feeling of your skin against his own.

[chaoscheebs]

Celdic Crew Group Chat Log

So, um, look, I had the urge to type out a fake chat log for Fie, Elliot, and Machias, because they’re probably pretty tight after what happened post Cold-Steel 1/early-ish Cold Steel II.  No serious spoilers I can think of, it’s just a roller-coaster of stuff.

Tl;dr their group chats are wild.

------

Fie: you see this is why i’m the only one of us who’s touched a boob

Elliot: Didn’t Machias technically touch one too?

Machias: WHAT WHEN?!?!?

Fie: oh yeah, in the windmill.  forgot about that

Machias: WHAT I DID NOT

Fie: you were sleeping.  you called me ‘jusis’ and went in for the squeeze. honestly you were doing a pretty good job, i was almost hesitant to smack you awake

Machias: WHAT

Elliot: Man, I still get why you did that, Fie, but did you have to smack him hard enough to make him elbow ME?????

Machias: THAT WAS WHY YOU DID THAT!?!?!?!?  WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?!?!!

Fie: didn’t seem important

Elliot: Honestly, I thought you knew you were Mr. Hands in your sleep already after all the times *I* elbowed you awake too.

Machias: NO I DID NOT YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!!!!  I WOULD HAVE SLEPT FURTHER FROM YOU IF YOU TOLD ME!!!!!!!

Elliot: And let you freeze instead?  We knew the risks after the first night.  D|

Fie: nah he wouldn’t have frozen, it wasn’t THAT cold.  he’d COMPLAIN a lot in the morning tho

Elliot: Oh, yeah, definitely.  Especially since we didn’t have his terrifying favorite coffee blend available there.

Fie: lol yeah

Machias: MY COFFEE ISN’T TERRIFYING AND ALSO DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Elliot: Machias, it has a *caution label* on it to not drink more than two cups of it and you down the whole damned pitcher!  D: D: D:

Fie: it’s honestly kinda impressive, you really are unbreakable lol

Machias: CAN WE GET BACK TO THE POINT ALREADY?!?!?

Elliot: Machias, when do we ever get to the point here?

Machias: . . .  DON’T TRY TO CONFUSE ME WITH LOGIC HERE.  8T

Fie: lol

Elliot: *Anyway*, if we were really upset about it, we would’ve said something, but we knew you really missed your boyfriend, so…

Machias: HE IS NOT—I MEAN HE WAS NOT—ARGH THIS IS STILL HARD TO ADMIT NOW

Fie: that’s the other reason we didn’t say anything, you were EXTRA shouty whenever we mentioned him back then

Elliot: Truth.  You two going from *loudly* hatefucking constantly to actually admitting you *liked* each other was a long, wild ride.  A long, *LOUD* wild ride.  D|

Machias: JUSIS STILL TWITCHES HILARIOUSLY WHENEVER HE HEARS “THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO CELDIC” THANKS TO YOU TRYING TO MAKE US STOP BEING LOUD, BY THE WAY

Fie: so does alisa, she had some choice words about your angry midnight concertos too

Elliot: Oops.  She did kinda live above me, didn’t she?  I should maybe send her apology flowers someday.

Machias: THAT’D ONLY BE NICE.

Fie: i notice you’re not asking for flowers too

Machias: HONESTLY WE KINDA DESERVED IT.  ALSO IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.  SERIOUSLY, SOME STREET MUSICIAN WAS PLAYING IT ON OUR LAST, ER, MEETING AND YOU COULD FEEL THE BARELY REPRESSED ANGER COMING OFF OF HIM, LOL.

Fie: lol

Elliot: Lol.

Fie: so did rean ever realize you weren’t playing unsexy violin ditties because you just love music that much?

Elliot: Not on his own, no.  Emma and I ended up talking to him about several things he was, um, overlooking waaaaaaaaaaaaay back before that school festival at the academy.

Machias: OVERLOOKING, MY BUTT, HE HAD TO BE WILLFULLY IGNORANT AT THAT POINT.  I’M PRETTY SURE EVEN MILLIUM HAD IT FIGURED OUT AT A GLANCE, HOW DID EVERYTHING AROUND HIM FLY OVER HIS HEAD THAT MUCH

Fie: lol wow way to burn yourself man

Machias: IN MY DEFENSE I’M ALSO BURNING JUSIS AT THE SAME TIME, WE WERE COMPLETE GARBAGE HIDING ANYTHING AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

Fie: true, lol

Elliot: Also in his defense, I was also talking about all the *other* stuff that flew right over his head.  Like the fact he kept taking me to *date spots* and also apparently witnessed Laura’s love confession to you, Fie, and completely didn’t notice.

Fie: eh, it was laura.  it flew over her head too for a while.  good thing she’s kinda cute when she’s clueless, lol

Elliot: It’s terrifying that Machias and Jusis were the closest to having their stuff together out of all of us back then, by the way.

Fie: absolutely horrifying

Machias: HEY

Elliot: It’s kinda true.  You two were at each other’s throats for a while there, man.

Fie: and not in the kinky way

Elliot: It’s probably in the kinky way now, tho’.  XD

Fie: no doubt lol

Machias: WILL YOU TWO STOP?!?!?  BESIDES DON’T YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN RIP ON ME????????

Elliot: Not really; my schedule’s clear today.

Fie: the better question is don’t YOU have anything better to do than stay here and get dunked on

Machias: . . . NOT REALLY I’M WAITING ON JUSIS’S TRAIN TO COME IN

Elliot: Well, there you go.

Fie: aww, you have plans then?

Machias: NOT ANYTHING MAJOR, HE’S COMING IN ON BUSINESS AND I THOUGHT WE COULD AT LEAST SQUEEZE IN LUNCH TOGETHER BETWEEN THAT

Elliot: “Lunch.”

Fie: ‘lunch’

Machias: OH GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER

Elliot: So you’re not planning on finding a closet to fool around in, then~?  ;)

Machias: . . . . . . . . . SHUT UP

Fie: this is text

Machias: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!  AND HONESTLY, FOR SOMEONE WHO KEEPS TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME BEING A HORNBALL, YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS KEPT FINDING SOME DOROTHEE-LEVEL GAY SMUT, ELLIOT

Fie: it’s always the cute, quiet ones lololol

Elliot: Hey, Dorothee knew where it was at, guys; you’re all just mean.  :(

Machias: IT ALWAYS SURPRISED ME HOW SHE GOT AWAY WITH AS MUCH AS SHE DID WITH THOSE BOOKS

Elliot: Eh, when it sticks to just text, it’s hard to tell at a glance if it’s “clean” or not without reading the whole thing, and teachers don’t have time for that.  Thank Aidios for exploitable loopholes!

Machias: DIDN’T PROTECT ME WHEN YOU GAVE SOME “LITERATURE” TO READ.  8|

Elliot: That’s because it had illustrations; it’s hard *not* to notice when there’s pages like that.  Quality art, tho’.

Machias: . . . IT KINDA WAS

Fie: ok, first what book is this, and second why didn’t you share with me

Elliot: Because it got confiscated way back when.  It’s out of print now too to boot, dammit.  :( :( :(

Machias: RIP IN PIECES, LOVE’S FIRST BITE, PEPPERONY AND CHEASE

Fie: what

Elliot: Machias, get off the orbal net, we’re worried about you.

Machias: ORBAL NET MEMES ARE THE WAY OF THE FUTURE, DAMN IT

Fie: neeeeeeeeeeeeerd

Elliot: Turbo-nerd.

Fie: lord nerdlinger regnitz-albarea of the nerdlinger province

Machias: DAMN IT DON’T START MARRYING ME OFF WE’RE NOT AT THAT POINT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elliot: Too late, we’ve called Gaius, he’s gonna officiate the marriage.

Fie: he said ‘fucking finally, next we have to get rean and elliot to be a thing’

Elliot: FIE!!

Machias: HA

Fie: it’s true tho, you need to go kiss your husband already, elliot

Machias: SERIOUSLY, I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY YOU TWO NEVER ENDED UP A THING, YOU TWO WERE SUPER-CLOSE EVEN BACK AT THE ACADEMY

Elliot: Rean’s not interested.  End of story.

Fie: did you ask him?

Elliot: Don’t need to.  If he couldn’t tell I was flirting with him, or notice where exactly he kept taking me, he clearly wasn’t into me like that.  End.  Of.  Story.

Machias: ELLIOT, WE HAVE ESTABLISHED REAN IS A HUGE DUMBASS IN THIS AREA.  ASK HIM.

Elliot: I.  Said.  End.  Of.  Story.

Fie: ouch, we found a sore spot  :c

Elliot: Look, I just… I don’t really want to talk about this, OK?  Rean’s never seemed super-interested in… anyone, really, and I doubt I’m magically going to be the exception, and I accept that.

Machias: . . . . . . . . .

Fie: …………………………………

Machias: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Elliot: … you really want to say something, don’t you.

Fie: not saying a word

Machias: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . OK LOOK

Fie: oh boy

Machias: I’D ARGUE YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON HE’S SHOWN ANY SERIOUS INTEREST IN, ELLIOT.  HE TOOK ***ME*** TO THAT DUMB ROSE GARDEN THING FIRST AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS MORE A COUPLE’S THING AND HE STILL TOOK ***YOU*** THERE TOO.  REAN IS AN AWKWARD ***DUMBASS*** ABOUT THIS STUFF, ***ASK HIM***

Elliot: Machias…

Machias: BE DIRECT AND ASK HIM OUT.  IF HE SAYS NO, HE REALLY ISN’T INTERESTED, OK, FINE, GIVE UP THEN.  BUT DON’T GIVE UP BEFORE YOU REALLY TRY!!!!

Elliot: … ha.  Man, you really can’t stop yourself from talking, huh?

Machias: HEY, I MIGHT BE A DUMBASS ABOUT THIS KINDA THING TOO, BUT I’M A DUMBASS IN A STEADY RELATIONSHIP.  I KNOW THINGS SOMETIMES.

Fie: i can’t believe i’m agreeing with him, but for once, he has a point.  do the thing, go get you your man

Elliot: Fie…  Man, you guys…

Machias: DAMN, I THINK THAT’S JUSIS’S TRAIN.  SEE YOU LATER, GUYS.

Fie: have fun on your ‘lunch date’

Machias: OH DON’T START

Elliot: Yeah, later, Machias.  Um… thanks for caring?

Machias: THANK ME ONCE YOU’VE GOTTEN YOURSELF YOUR BOYFRIEND.  BYE!!

[MACHIAS has left the room]

Elliot: … he really doesn’t understand how severe that sounds at all, does he.

Fie: nope

[omgshewrites]

Miss me?

Pairing: Loki X Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Loki goes away for some days and when he comes back he shows you how much he had missed you.

Warnings: smut, spanking, chocking, edging, unprotected sex, don’t read this unless you’re over 18.

A/N: Hey! This is the continuation of my Prick! smut, althought it is not necessary to read it before you read this smut.

 I was thinking in making this story into some erotic series in which the relationship between Loki and the reader developes both romantically and sexually. If you like the idea or if you have some suggestions and want to collaborate, please let me know!

Also sorry for any grammar mistakes you might find.

✨my masterlst✨

A month had passed since the library incident.

Since I had the guts to call him prick

Thirty days since he showed me against the bed and fucked my brains out.

Since that day everything changed.

I remember waking up in his room, still naked and sensitive from the night before.

It took me a moment and some blinks to understand what had happen.

His big arm in my back made me realize things faster, his hand placed flat in the center of my lower back, one of my legs crossed over his hips, and my head flushed against his chest, his chin resting on my temple.

Somehow he realized I had woken up, rubbing my back he said

“Good morning”

How it could possibly not be a good morning if the first sound I hear was his deep, raspy voice?

“Mmornin’ ” I mumbled back, rubbing my head in his chest.

We didn’t talk about what had happen.

We didn’t make a big deal about it, we took it naturally and keep our facades.

He stopped treating me like garbage but he didn’t cut the sassines and arrogant actitudes, which I replied with bitchy comments, after all that was the normal thing between us.

Nobody suspected anything, they didn’t even had a clue, not even Natasha, who never misses a thing.

Our constant battle of throwing shade at each other made things fun, sometimes he would shook his head in disapproval but with a half smile plastered on his face, like saying “tsk, tsk, you don’t know the things I’m going to do to you for saying that”

Of course it wasn’t all disgust and meanness, occasionally he would look at me a little longer than he should, I would caress his hand with my thumb when I had to pass him the salt, giving him little stares that did nothing but make his cock twitch in his pants.

Varius little acts that showed both adoration and desire, that made things all hot and bothered.

A week ago had pass since I last saw him, he had to leave early on monday morning to solve some issues on what I had hear Thor named “The midgardian congress of dumb magic and tricks”

I felt kinda lost without his presence around the place, around me, without his eyes burning in the back of my neck.

I had been so distracted, Steve had pointed that out every time while training,  Peter had to repeat me everything like three times cause I kept forgetting, and finally Sam joked about how beautiful I looked when I was in silence and not being basically satan, but I heard that, and I didn’t need my magic to shake his can of beer, the liquid sparying all his face and chest, cursing me and himself.

After ignoring and denying Bucky’s pleas for me to cook dinner, we end up ordering chinese food, like every friday, he complained about how much he wanted to eat my special mac & cheese (there was nothing special, just tons of cheese) I laughed and I told him that I would cook an entire bowl just for him one of this days, Steve interrupting his cheers saying that wouldn’t be so healthy.

I was the first one to finish my chow mein, grabbing a bottle of water and saying a general “Goodnight” and then disappearing to my room.

I sighed when I saw the ultimate book he had given me to read, placed in my nightstand, the bookmark in the middle of it, my little notebook beside it along with a pencil.

I closed my eyes, trying to get the thoughts out of my head, trying to get him out of my head.

I decided a shower would be good to relax; I light some candles and some incense, locking myself in the bathroom for a good hour.

When I got out I went directly to the closet, already knowing what was I was going to wear as pjs; a t shirt he had forgotten some days ago, his sent was still impregnated in the fabric, I smelled the second I slipped on it, trying to not smile to myself.

“That suits you” I jumped when I hear his voice, turning in my heels to find him sitting at the edge of the bed.

He looked so unbothered handsome, one of his arms supporting his torso, leaning all his weight in the bed, his hair was in his usual style, tucked behind his ears.

“You really need to stop appearing from nowhere” I said making my way to the bed “You can knock on the door and I would be glad to let you in” I stood in front of him, bare thighs grazing his clothed ones.

“That’s not my style” He said straightening, looking at me from below.

He raised one of his hands slowly through my thigh, stopping at the hem of my -his- t shirt and repeating his movements with his other and in my other thigh.

I cursed myself when I felt my skin goosebumping, the slightest little touch of his made my whole body react.

“Did you missed me?” He asked, his hands rubbing up and down  my legs.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying not to give any importance to the fact that I was yearning for his presence. He smiled.

“There is no point in denying” he said, now his fingers passing the hem of the shirt, grazing at the embroidered seam of my underwear “I know you have”

He talked slowly and deep, his eyes now focused on my hardening nipples; not even five minutes had passed and I was already growing tired of his teasing.

I placed my hands on his broad shoulders, stabilizing myself to put my legs on both sides of his body, straddling him.

Once we were face to face, I talked

“Then why you need to ask?” I let my fingers dance along the muscles of his shoulders, stroking his hair in the process.

“I want you to say it” He said, the shirt had ridden up a little, resting on my hips, his hands running over the exposed skin, I rolled my eyes

“Yes, I have missed you” I finally said, a smile pulling the corners of his lips.

The tip of my fingers on his nape, I leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“What about you, Loki? Have you missed me?” I asked playfully, but I wanted to know the answer.

I pulled back to look at his face, he couldn’t hide his smile no more, his hands stopped his movements, he copied my motions and spoke to my ear.

“Oh I have…” He said “I have missed your sarcastic comments and you rolling eyes”

I could felt his hot breath tickling on my neck

“Your sent and your presence around me” he continued after placing a chaste kiss below my ear, I titled my head back a little, to enjoy the touch.

“I have missed those pretty lips and hands” His hands started to move again in a measured way.

“But what I have missed the most..” He stopped and contempled my face “Is having you under me, screaming my name, begging me to let you come undone”

A moan left my lips against my will, I threw myself at him, pulling him by grabbing the neck of his shirt, crashing our lips together in a hot, steamy and wet kiss.

Our bodies pressed together, touching everywhere we could. His hands cupped my ass, making me grind on him, making me feel how hard he was.

One of his hands slipped through the shirt, massaging my back till he reached my nape, then he lifted us up, my legs around his waist and my hard grip on his shoulders didn’t help me when he throwed me in the bed, I smiled when I saw him getting undressed, cause he would normally use his magic to get us both naked in a second, I did the same, taking the shirt off and then my panties, throwing them somewhere in the room before he could see how damp the piece of clothing was.

I layed on the bed again, rolling my nipples in my hands and looking at him in an amused way. He was now completely naked too, his cock standing proud against his abdomen.

He ran his hands from my ankles to the inner sides of my thighs, stopping when he was about to reach my core.

“You have touched yourself” He affirmed, looking up to me, he looked angry. 

I asked myself how in hell he had found out about that, but I knew I coulnd’t lie to the master of lies.

I simply smiled innocently, that didn’t work; with a smooth movement he had flipped me around, my face flushed against the sheets and my ass in the air.

The loud sound of his hand landing on my ass cheek filled the room, I whimpered.

“You don’t get to touch yourself, not if I don’t say so” He said, another smack on the opposite cheek, I nodded frantically on the sheets, knowing that I would break my promise if he ever leaves me alone again, that thought and another smack made me giggle, wiggling my ass in the air, asking for more.

“You’re not supposed to be enjoying this, little witch” he said, now caressing my arse, then running his fingers to my heat.

I tried not to moan when I felt him collect my juices and spread my folds, but I lost it when his middle finger made contact with my clit.

“Look at you” he said, rubbing me slow and softly, making sure I felt everyone of his movements “So eager to be touch by your master”

His fingers grazed my clit, circling the bud, then leaving it, I breathed heavily when I felt how he introduced his index and middle finger inside me, pumping them agonizingly slow.

Then his other hand went to touch my clit from below, he started to pick up the speed of his fingers, cincronicing it with the rolls of my bud of neves. Little whimpers left my mouth as he fingerfucked me, I heard him groan from behind, I knew the effect my little sounds had on him.

I started to buck my hips against his hand, trying to get closer enough to the release.

When I was almost there, he withdrew all the touch. I whined and incorporate myself to look at him with a mad, flustered face. He smiled cockily.

“Bad girls don’t get to cum until their masters says so”

He covered me, taking care of not crushing me under his heavy weight. I opened my legs for him as he looked at me and reaching to get my hair out my face, his thumb grazing over my jaw, I felt his length slip inside me in one silky move. God, I had missed him so much.

He was smiling when I opened my eyes, he trusted back, reaching deeper this time, his pace was slow, but the swing of his hips made me see starts.

I had one hand on his arm and the other running over his back, caresing him with my nails, not scratching him yet, I grabbed the curve of his ass and pushed him impossibly deep, he groaned, head falling in the crook of my neck.

“You’re so tight, dear” He said in a sigh “so damn tight”

I moaned his name as he rolled his hips again, feeling the pleasure in my belly, he looked concentrated and he definitely not expected my leg raising up to place it in his shoulders, stretching me for him, he started to nibble my neck, after every bite, a kiss.

I didn’t knew if it was his loud moan or the way he was taking me, but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to last much longer.

“Loki.. please” I said in a moan, my hands reaching to pull his head from my neck, his eyes dark and face blushed, hair sticking in his temple.

“What (y/n)? Tell me what you want” He said, his hand grabbed my boob and rolled my nipple in between his fingers.

“Let me come, please” I felt my walls clenching around him as the vein on his neck popped out prominently. “ I’m beggin you, let me come”

He looked at me and nodded, giving me the permission to let my climax finally crash in.

I arched my back, a strangled moan leaving my throat as he held me, still thrusting into me as I came and rode my high.

Once I had finished and fell down to bed, he slipped out, giving me a second to recover.

“You look so beautiful when you have orgasms, I could watch you all day” I laughed and stood up, grabbing the bottle of water in my nightstand and drinking half of it.

I turned around, looking at the wall large mirror, catching his stare at my ass as I made my way to it, his eyes sparkling when he saw what I had in mind, standing up quickly.

I found myself in front of the mirror, his hands caressing my sides, one in my hips and the other in my breast, and then in my belly, and then in between my legs again, I had to place one hand in the wall to keep my balance, although he was holding me in place with the hand in my hip.

His fingers grazed my heart again, but instead touching me, he grabbed himself, lining up with my entrance, and looking me in the eyes through the reflection of the  mirror as he buried himself into me again, thrusting his hips into my ass, establishing a quick peace.

He let his hands ramble all over my body as he fucked me hard, my eyes never left his face, eyebrows furrowed and mouth in a thin line, breathing heavily.

I stood in my tiptoes, bending myself more into the mirror but not touching it, his gaze falling into my ass as he kneeled it before placing a smack, eyes founding mine.

He sighed, pounding into me he said.

“You’re mine” one of his hands reaching to hold me by the neck, his hand covering it all and choking me hard enough “Mine, do you understand?”

I moaned before turning my head a little to say in his ear.

“I’m yours, my king”

The moan that left his mouth made me shudder as I felt his hot release inside me, as he drew his last and deep thrusts, face hiding into my neck, biting my shoulder as he held me tight.

He tilted his head up to look at me again before he slipped out, I whimpered and started to walk to the bathroom, managing to not fall to the ground.

Once there I cleaned myself up just to go back to found him resting on the bed.

I layed next to him, covering us with the covers, as I placed one hand in his chest, he took it to bring it to his mouth, placing a kiss into it and looking at me with a smile.

“That was something else” I said, he chuckled and nodded.

“You’re something else” He said taking my face into his hands, I smiled before I kissed him slowly, deep and passionate, when we pulled away he spoke again  

“So… I’m your king” he smiled mockingly.

I rolled my eyes smiling

“Don’t ruin the moment”  I said pulling him for another kiss.

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[aabaker1]

Just finished Harvey Girls season 2

First spoiler-free Version. Season two of Harvey Street Kids or Harvey Girls Forever call it what you want, was...uneven. The season started and ended in good places, but there was a block of three episodes towards the middle that just fell flat. Good new characters, though only a few of them got developed. And I am really hesitant about the cliffhanger, it could easily go wrong in a lot of ways.

Okay time for the full rundown after the break.

Hoo boy this series had some highs and lows. I’ll break down by episode and then final thoughts.

Raiders of the Lost Park:

Okay does anyone else notice that the episode titles Netflix presents aren’t always the same as the ones on the title card? It’s not that big a deal, but come on, it’s Dreamworks and Netflix. A little consistency would be appreciated.

Nice way to start the series. This was a risky move, introducing brand new characters was one thing, but giving Audrey and Melvin, two established characters, brand new siblings? That was taking a risk. If I had to complain about something the tension and strife Dot caused in the season 1 finale was brushed aside way too quickly, but that’s a nit pick at most.

Dottie Rocket/Weekend at Audrey’s:

Good Dot episode, nice to see her obsessive compulsiveness get the better of her sometimes. But, Dot sill came back down to Earth in the end, even if it took a sugar-induced hallucination to do it.

Digital pets kicking the bucket, sigh, I can relate. But Audrey was just a bit out of character here. Not her recklessness, but her attempts at covering up. Audrey is not the type of person to hide mistakes, get frustrated by them, sure, but not hide them. Okay, she didn’t want to disappoint Lotta, but Audrey just doesn’t have that kind of deception in her.

Boy Story/ Puzzle, Puzzle, Toil and trouble.

And this is what I meant by character development. It’s nice to see that even the Bloogie Boys have limits, and legitimately like more than stereotypical boy hobbies. Also, nice touch remembering Dot and Pinkeye are friends.

Frufru, getting character development? Didn’t we already do this in season one? Okay, I know, people don’t just change overnight. But, for being so eager to be recognized for her brains, Frufru was a bit too quick to cheat. Though nice callback to Audrey Parkour. And I seriously don’t want to know why there’s an old well full of butter, that is just leads to several nasty implications.

Treasure of the Sierra Harvey/ Babies Day in:

And the character development continues, this time for TIny. Also not all old toys are dangerous. The treasure trove of old toys idea has been done before, but this wasn’t a bad example. Though I thought for sure Tiny was going to leave his action figure behind in the storm drain.

And a nice way to show that Lotta’s compassion can get out of hand some times. Also nice way to show that raccoons aren’t always jerks. Just gonna say it now, ninja pajamas, just ninja pajamas. Also, Dot, running bare-foot, outside, in the park? What kind of bizzaro world is this?

The Lice Storm/ Mission Impossibow:

This one kinda fell flat for me. Audrey over reacting is expected enough, but everyone going along with it, including Dot, that was a bit too far. But, the big letdown was the Harvey Avenue Kids. Okay we’ve seen them before in season one, but this was there chance to shine. And most of them came off as background filler, just like before. Penny was the only one who got any kind of development. But, she and bald Audrey did just enough to save this ep for me.

Decent episode and it shows Dot’s possible great weakness. She’s creative, but in a scientific, A, to B, to C kind of way. Imagining fantasy scenarios on the spot is just not in here wheelhouse, props to her stepping outside of her comfort zone.  Bow initiated the plot here, but didn’t get a lot of character development. But, I’m okay with that. The Bow doesn’t really need development. She’s the bow, the weird kid who does her own thing, sometimes you don’t need to add more to make something good. My only complaint is that there just wasn’t enough of her this season, but I guess there can be too much of a good thing. Did I mention Bow’s my favorite character? Could you tell?

Fandom Menace/Moby Dot:

This one was a meh for me. It didn’t do Lotta any favor. I know she’s the trusting type, but she’s not dumb and certainly not the type to willfully delude herself. I think this was a bit of a miss step. Thankfully they didn’t do the cliche of scamming Zoe out of the ticket she sold. Lotta’s online appeal did fit her character and kudos to Crush4you to being stand up guys and respecting their fans like that.

The Cheer Hunter: Dot’s entertainment:

And more character development in an unexpected direction. So far Zoe’s two appearances had her solidly in the antagonist role, but here we she she’s actually a person, not just a stereotype. Also Maria feeling generally dissed by Zoe fast-tracking Lotta felt genuine. It’s nice to see them do plots that don’t involve someone getting their comeuppance. And everybody coming together to cheer Lotta up was a perfect touch. Also, Dot and Stu being completely (whatever) to the whole situation was funny as hell.

And once again we have Dot at her Obsessive Compulsive best. She discovers a new side to herself and like Dot, naturally takes this to the extreme. Also, nice to get a glimpse of how Dot’s brain works.  Also, Fluffy’s still around, what? You do remember that was just a rat covered in garbage can fuzz, right?

I wanna Crush Your Hand:

And this is where the dip in the season started. I’m just going to say it now, I’m not the target demo for boy bands, not by a long shot. But, that wasn’t the problem I had with this episode. No the main problem was Lotta’s obsession taking up the whole spotlight. It felt like Audrey and Dot just got shoved into the background. Plus this episode just dragged. I’ve gotta say it, I think the two stories an ep format works best for this series. The double-length story just doesn’t fit, here.

Beyond Thunder Dot: Ten things I hate about Ew:

And this is where the season hit the valley for me. Seriously, you’re doing the “Let’s shove the environmental message down kids throats” Thing in 2019? I thought that went out of fashion in the 2010s. But, the most galling thing for me was all that character developing they were doing came to a complete halt. Frufru’s character development? Nah, let’s just turn her into a low rent Captain Planet villain. And since when did Dot get that preachy? I’m sorry but this got so painful for me I had to stop the ep and walk away. Ten things I hate about Ew might have been a decent episode, I don’t know. And I never will if I have to sit through this outdated, anvilicious garbage to get to it.

Something’s Glotta Give/Afernoon Contrite:

I think the main thing with this story is it made no sense to me. I thought Gerald and Lotta got together in season one, now Lucretia’s trying to hook them up, what?

This is where the season started to pick back up for me. It’s nice to see that even after the previous character development Melvin can still be Melvin. It’s nice to see that Lotta tries to fix things, even if she did it by accident, but naive Lotta is back and I just don’t know how I feel about that. Still seeing Melvin get a bit more character growth saved this one.

Can’t Hardly Wait/Bring it Prawn:

Ah that’s more like it. This touches my fanfic-writing heart. It’s nice to see Lucretia stretching her active imagination. It’s also nice to see the Audrey Girls and  Tiny encouraging her self confidence. Plus in short order we got return of Audrey the Destroyer, Sci-Fi Dot and Lotta Moon, what’s not to love?

Thank you! Thank you for showing that cartoon siblings can do more than just fight with each other. This almost makes up for the environmental debacle, almost. In one fell swoop we see Maria and Melvin get along and Zoe and Audrey put their differences aside and work together for a common cause. Bonus points seeing Zoe stick up for Audrey. Audrey may be an annoying twerp, but she’s Zoe’s annoying twerp, damn it! Also, anyone else imagine buff Zoe and Audrey when Dot kept saying aabs.

Hover, may I board with danger/free Gilly:

And here’s Stu’s character development. Stu always seemed the odd man out. While Zoe and Maria have Audrey and Melvin to play off of, Stu was just sort of there. Now we see his too cool for school attitude is really a front for him being sensitive and a little insecure, that’s a nice touch. Also Audrey gets to grow as a person. First she was just legit conning Stu for time on the hover board, which was really just a Segway without the handles, but then she genuinely gets into the contact juggling. And one of her plans actually works for once, what? Also, what is up with Bobby this season, last season he was the older kid who doled out sage advice and could be a little jerkish sometimes. Now this season the sage advice stuff is all but gone and we just get the jerk, everyone else gets character development, but Bobby actually backslides a bit, guess they had to cut corners somewhere. 

Finally a payoff to the running gag of Audrey’s goldfish issues. Nice to see that finally wrapped up. But, was it strictly necessary to give the animals voices? Okay, I admit it wasn’t so bad for Bobby the skunk, but every freaking animal? Yeesh, I mean there is such a thing as subtlety.

That thing you Dot!/Where the streets have no games:

You know, at first I thought I was going to hate bring Chevron back, didn’t she and Dot make peace back in season one? But, then I found that I really didn’t hate it. Dot used the wrong word. Chevron is not a frenemy, she’s a competitor and that may actually be a good thing. Dot and Chevron are very similar, they like to take hobbies to the absolute extreme and there’s nothing wrong with that. They two drive each other to succeed. In fact if they didn’t have each other they probably wouldn’t do half as much as they do. And Kudos bring Penny back and giving her a voice, she’s going to be the lead Harvey Avenue kid, I just feel it.

And here we are, okay, I’ll go through ep first before getting to the diamond-studded elephant in the room. Nice commentary on mobile games and how their designed to addict you. And yeah they really are just excuses to gather data. Also, nice touch Lotta and Audrey being the only ones who weren’t suckered in. Sadly Dot’s obsessive compulsive tendencies made her an easy target. But, then we go into that cliffhanger. Yeesh, that cliffhanger.

Finale Thoughts:

I’ll just say it. I know they were going to pull Richie in at some point. But to quote the Bow, not this way. The entire idea behind Richie Rich is that in spite of being the richest kid on Earth, Richie was a normal, average kid, who just wanted to make friends and have fun. He was never portrayed as being snobbish, sheltered or clueless.

Only now it’s clear Richie set up the mobile game and the contest to try to figure out how kids have fun. Not only is being clueless, he’s using money to try to solve his problems, which Richie never did.

And worse it’s predictable. I can tell where this story is going. The Harvey girls together maxed out the fun-o-meter, so Richie’s going to take them off to his estate to be his new friends and the Harvey Girls are going to bring him down to Earth.

But, they shouldn’t have to. Richie has always been portrayed as already being down to Earth. Now they’re going out of their way to portray Richie as a clueless rich kid who doesn’t understand how the real world works, and that is just wrong. That’s not Richie. Although nice touch with the Irona reference.

But, there’s something that worries me even more. Now that you’ve pulled the pin on Richie, where do you go with him from here, does he become a regular? I hate to say it, but I hope not. 

You have to remember, that by default, Richie is the biggest presence in the room. If you over use him he could quickly over shadow Audrey and the others, in fact, he already has once before.

I’m taking about Harvey Comics. For over ten years, Audrey, Lotta, Dot and their friends ruled Harvey comics. Then Richie, Wendy and Casper came along. And within a few short years Audrey and company were all but forgotten. I just hope to go they have enough sense not to try to make this the Richie Rich show. I think they do. I think they understand a way to use Richie right and they already done it in the same episode, with Chevron.

Chevron is a big personality, so they don’t overuse her. So far she’s shown up once a season and that’s just right for her. It’s all she needs. If she were on regularly she’d drown the others out too much. But, this way when she shows up it’s a big deal. I think that’s the perfect approach to take with Richie, less is more. Just don’t turn him into a clueless rich kids, please? 

[mystech-master]

Okay I wanna actually consider the implications of the four series in BBTAG interacting, no simple plots or anything. Cause looking at the spoilers (going to try and provide as little detail as possible so don’t worry), it just feels like, character from world A meets two characters from world B-D and meets another character from any of the worlds, the later teams up with them and fights the next two. There is no casual interaction/meeting that won’t end with a fight in this.

These are my own opinions, and they may vary with yours greatly.

Lemme get into the grit of this, super long post beware:

Blazblue

I’m pretty sure we can ll agree that a large percent, not all, but a good chunk of the BB cast are angsty assholes, or at least not the most pleasant of individuals. They have a reason to be like this, but they are still not the nicest people around.

I honestly feel like half the fight are a result of:

Character A:: hey bitch, obey me and do the thing

Character B: what did you call me? fuck you no way

Character A: do it bitch

C B: fuck you

C A: FUCK YOU!

FIGHT

Seriously if you guys met someone from Blazblue and didn’t know who they were you might be drained dealing with them.

Their situation is a BIIIIT more stressful than anything these other guys have been through, and as many people have said they RE the more powerful characters in the crossover. But not everyone has their....mindset. As we will discuss later on.

Persona

Okay for just a minute imagine that the Persona 3-4 cast aren’t flanderized into fighting gamery where only their base personality traits are shown.

Admit it, how many of you were pissed when Chie was reduced to “KUNG-FU/MEAT!” or Akihito being reduced to ‘TRAINING/PROTEIN!”? Dumbing down their characters into these much simpler versions.

The Persona characters only fought in the Arena games against Shadow Doubles, or because Shadow Labrys was twisting their words, the only fight I recall happening between actual people without this was Kanji being an idiot, to which fighting game logic says “It’s no use, you need to beat the shit out of him”.

Not counting Sho since he’s an antagonist, you’re supposed to fight him.

The Persona characters are all BFFs and Power of Friendship is their thing, so I doubt they would immediately be hostile to anyone.

Under Night-In Birth

Okay I’ve only recently learned about UNI and it seems like an okay premise. But it also feels like they drop the ball a lot in terms of plot and or naming names.

The issue is this: Take a shot for whenever you hear the reason for an arcade mode fight being “Because we’ve met on this night.” That is a bullshit reason. it’s supposed to be some “rule of the night” or some garbage but it just makes it seem like everyone wants an excuse to kick the shit out of each other.

You could easily just say hat the Hollow Night is an inherently violent place, because:

You got Voids running amok during this Night, and you don’t want your existence being destroyed. i mean these things are how people get their powers of course they’re running around.

Rival factions: From Licht Kreis, to Amnesia, to EFG, to Night Blade, you can simply have the fights be due to the rivalry or something.

In-Births who just wanna show off their power. Like Carmine being his Ax-Crazy self, or Enkidu looking for a worthy opponent.

And if those don’t work for the situation, find something. Like Hyde and Yuzuriha can fight because she wants to see if he’s ready to handle the Night. Or he and Phonon fight because he pisses her off when she wants the dominatrix queen vibe and he’s ruining it.

Also a few characters were all “We will now fight In-Birth scum, I will defeat you.” and it’s like “.....soooo, you’re calling them out on being an in-Birth, when EVERYONE here is an In-Birth?”.....logic.....who needs it am I right?

UNI is the least well know of these three franchises and I hope this game gets it into the limelight so we can PLEASE have a continuing story. I mean very new re-release (no, not new game, re-release) just adds new characters, and more backstory. Nothing ever moves forward. We don’t even know what’s anon because all of the Arcade Modes don’t connect..

But in terms of them interacting with the other franchises, it really depends on the character, and if they know this sin’t the Hollow Night (where some kind of magic field heals them, so they don’t have that safety net in other worlds.

RWBY

Okay this is my personal headcanon here but I feel like it sticks

As anime-esque as RWBY is, it ISN’T an anime. It was made by western developers, with western views, and a western sense of humor.

there was originally going to be a bathouse/hot springs scene, but they scrapped it because they are underage. In Japan they would’ve gone full hog with it. Yang’s flirtatiousness never goes beyond the kind of stuff you’d see in a high school sitcom while if it was an anime she’d be showing off WAY more cleavage. Weiss never complains about her rack (or lack there of), etc.

So, IMO, RWBY characters would play the straight-man role to all this anime craziness.

Fighting Games flanderize their characters because you need to have their personalities fit their gameplay quotes. and you can’t re-do ALL of their dialogue whenever some big character development thing happens, that’d be WAY too much work (see the Chie and Akihiko thing above)

And admit it, some.... a LOT....of anime characters have a sort of craziness that mot people wouldn’t not be to fond of in reality. I know Nora is pretty bubbly and weird but she is a bit more tame than say.....Taokaka from Blazblue, or Mika from Under Night. In RWBY Nora does know how to be a bit mature, in a full on anime world, she’d be twice the Cloudcuckoolander she is now.

RWBY, as  a show first and foremost, even with it’s flaws, the characters develop and grow, and aren’t TOO crazy and quirky. They have their roles and character archetypes, but they are able to grow out of their more hostile and worst aspects and become better people, while still being recognizable. While fighting games need to keep a character acting how they always have, or at least keep them close to their base personality because that is what the character is advertised as, plus they need to keep that one Running Gag going.

Plus I just wanna see these non-assholes interact with the asshole BB cast and not be pulled into their gag/bit and call them out on how mean, or jerky they are being. Because be honest do you honestly think anyone from these other worlds would listen to or obey Rachel or Kokonoe if they mocked them or were like “Bitch do the thing”?

BBTAG treats all the characters like they are from the same world/franchise, with the same conventions that govern one world making em do the gag we expect. Persona and RWBY characters wouldn’t jump right into a fight, Under Night I don’t know it depends on whether or not they think this is all part of the Hollow Night, but Blazblue characters are kind of Blood Knights.

Try not to think of them in the context of this game, think of how these characters would act, with their personalities from their original franchises, and NOT twisted to fit the gags and craziness of this crossover. Don’t think of how anime-Ruby would act, think of how RWBY-Ruby would act.

this might just be me taking things WAY too seriously, but that’s what I do. I might be talking out of my ass about how characterization and character development work in two different mediums in two different countries, but it just feels weird to see a character’s personality be tottally twisted mjust so they can fit some gag or play along with another gag that they, in their home series, wouldn’t follow in the slightest.

I apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes here. But if you need to call me out on it, please be respectful. I understand my viewpoints vary greatly from the norm, but don’t freak out. If you must call me out on something, do it calmly.

TL;DR: Try to imagine all the characters in BBTAG with their personalities from their original franchises. Not twisted to fit the jokes of one series, not flanderized. How would the characters, in their original characterization, interact with one another?

[mp100secretsanta2017-blog]

All I Want For Christmas Is... You?

From: hydrachea

To: mysteriousknifedad

Message: Merry Christmas! I wasn’t entirely sure what you wanted, art or writing, so… I did both. Have some Christmas-y ekurei, and a bonus as the end! I hope you spend a nice holiday!

______________

“I can’t believe this. You’re still here?”

Reigen raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the familiar mocking tone, barely looking up from the screen of his laptop. He finished typing out the last words, closed it, and leaned back into his chair, taking out a cigarette and searched his pocket for a lighter.

Then his other pocket.

Then his suit.

By the time he had managed to fish the lighter out of the mysterious depths of his back pocket, all the others were turned inside-out and a number of objects – including an expired bus ticket, what looked suspiciously like a peach pit, and exactly three coins – were scattered on his desk among bread crumbs and bits of paper. His unexpected guest had the generosity to remain silent while he fumbled with his clothes and muttered curses under his breath.

He lit his cigarette and opted for option B among the three the situation offered, which could be summed up with “Pretend the five minutes of searching and dumping the garbage in your pockets onto the garbage that is your desk didn’t happen and act like you have the dumpster that is your life together.”

Finally he looked up at the green spirit hovering above him, who seemed to be visibly battling with himself about whether he wanted to judge Reigen for being a mess of a human being and being completely unable to hide it after 7pm, or to make fun of him. Or both, knowing him.

“Really,” Dimple scoffed, “Christmas Eve and you’re still locked in your office?”

“I don’t see the problem,” He raised an eyebrow. The other, this time.

“Shouldn’t you be outside? I don’t know, on a hot date or something? Even Shigeo has plans, you know.”

He did know. His student was spending the evening together with his friends, and Mob had asked him if he could have the day off. He’d accepted, of course. The kid had seemed as excited as his blank expression could show, and he didn’t get to hang out with all his friends too often.

Of course Reigen didn’t have any plans of his own. Of course, Dimple knew he didn’t have any plans. Mob must have asked Dimple to leave him and his friends alone for the night, and so the spirit was left with nothing to do, and as a result he was pestering Reigen.

Well, that was still a more pleasant company than a silent phone. And despite their constant banter, he didn’t dislike having Dimple around–it was more of the opposite, actually.

He took a drag on his cigarette, and blew smoke rings around Dimple.

“So? What are you going to do about it? Are you here to ask me on a hot date?” He grinned, a vain attempt to make his poor excuse for a flirty suggestion believable. Oh how smooth, Arataka.

What he hadn’t expected was for Dimple to pause, lose himself in thought for approximately one minute and a half, and simply disappear. He suddenly found himself grinning awkwardly at empty air in an equally empty office. He blinked back to reality with a hiss when his forgotten cigarette started burning the tip of his fingers.

Had he hallucinated, or had Dimple’s color slightly darkened and started faintly glowing after his suggestion..?

______________

A knock on the door interrupted Reigen’s passive admiration of the Christmas lights outside his window, which he had absorbed himself in after reaching the fifth stage of grieving his short-lived company. He managed to avoid jumping in surprise, despite knowing full well that the office was empty and that there wasn’t anyone but himself to judge him – by god, that was plenty enough.

An unfamiliar figure was waiting for him on the doorstep. A man, by the looks of it, taller than him, more muscular – enough for it to be visible under several layers of winter clothing – with black hair cut short. He had prominent eye bags that didn’t quite match the toothy grin he was wearing. Before Reigen could ask – or, arguably, shout – anything about who exactly the man was, he noticed the red dots on each of his cheeks. With that in mind, that grin looked suddenly familiar.

“Dimple?”

“The one and only. You didn’t screech or try to punch me, that’s disappointing.”

“Were you expecting me to– no, wait, wait, wait,” he interrupted himself, raising both hands in front of him before pointing at the man’s chest. “Who is this?”

“What do you mean? You just said it, it’s me.”

“Don’t– stop playing dumb, whose body is this? Is this even consensual possession? Did you steal an entire man?”

Dimple snorted, so did the man he was possessing – which was a weird thing to focus on but not the weirdest thing Reigen had done – and shook his head.

“I wouldn’t have thought a fraud like you had that kind of morals – just kidding, god, loosen up. I’ve been borrowing his body every now and then after Claw was disbanded–”

“This is a member of Claw?”

“Just a security guard! It’s true that you didn’t get to see when I was first possessing him but calm down, he’s just a normal guy. And so to answer your first question, yes, this is consensual.”

“Okay,” Reigen inhaled, sighed, taking in all the information. This wasn’t how he had expected his evening to go. “Okay. So you borrowed this guy, and now what?”

Dimple blinked. Then his grin grew wider and his slid an arm around Reigen’s shoulders, pulling him into his firm chest – why was he focusing on that – and causing a startled yelp.

“Now I’m taking you on a hot date!”

It was Reigen’s turn to blink. Had he heard that right? Knowing Dimple and remembering what he had said earlier, there was more of a chance that he’d heard that right than not. That, or he was passed out on his office chair and hallucinating attractive men possessed by annoying spirits.

“You’re what.”

“Taking you out. I’m a benevolent future god who isn’t going to let you rot in your office with cigarette smoke for your only company.”

“Aren’t you basically smoke, too ?” He raised an eyebrow, unconvinced but far from uninterested. Whatever Dimple had planned was guaranteed to be more interesting than staying in his office all night

“I’m essentially ectoplasm,” Dimple had the decency to look offended. “And I’m way better company than cigarette smoke.”

“And where are you planning to take me?” He asked, remembering Dimple’s status as a spirit without any belongings and suddenly feeling concerned for his wallet.

Dimple shrugged.

“Let’s go have takoyaki, I’m not missing out on that now that I have a body to taste food.”

“Takoyaki?” The second eyebrow went to join the already raised one. “That’s not even a Christmas meal. You’re already a terrible date.”

“Like you’re a halfway decent date.” The spirit rolled his eyes. “Are you coming or not?”

Reigen weighed his options.

A, he could refuse, repeat what he did every night and every Christmas Eve and simply stay in his office, by himself, surfing the web and smoking and probably order takeout.

B, he could accept, go get the takoyaki with Dimple, and then go back to his office to proceed with option A.

C, he could accept, go get takoyaki with Dimple, and go along with the “date” plan for the rest of the evening, breaking a several years long tradition of lonely holidays and enjoying, for once, company. And, cherry on top of the Christmas tree, rather handsome company.

He didn’t have to think too long about it.

“C it is.” He nodded to himself with the beginning of a grin.

“Come again?” Dimple blinked down at him in a beautifully accurate depiction of pure incomprehension.

“I’m in.”

Dimple grinned back at him, and wound their arms together.

______________

Exactly two minutes and a half passed after the two left the office before they hurriedly turned back to grab a coat and a scarf as Reigen realized he was not, in fact, dressed to go outside on a December night. They wandered in the streets of Seasoning City through couples, couples, and more couples for thankfully not too long, and finally sat next to each other at the counter of a takoyaki stand. Reigen had expected it to be full, but it was, on the contrary, nearly empty. I guess people would prefer something more fancy on Christmas Eve, he shrugged as he took off his coat.

Next to him, Dimple was looking through the small menu. Seeing the owner turn toward them in the corner of his eyes, Reigen snatched it from his hands and ordered the cheapest on the list before Dimple could say a word. He gave him an annoyed look, tossing the menu to the side.

“Really, the cheapest? You were complaining earlier but that’s not exactly a date meal.”

“You’ll lecture me about date meals when you’re able to pay for them.”

Dimple seemed to look for an answer, and defeat showed on his face when he found he had nothing to say. He turned away, but not fast enough for Reigen to miss the obvious pout he was clearly trying to hide. It was kind of cute.

Was it getting hotter, or was it just being in a warm place after walking in the cold?

The two sat in increasingly awkward silence until the owner set their orders on the counter – though it was arguably closer to slammed, causing Dimple to snicker as Reigen jumped in surprise.

“The greatest embarrassment of the 21st century.”

“Do you ever shut– i’m not paying for your order if you keep that up.”

“Is this how you treat all your dates?” Dimple gasped, putting a hand over his heart in exaggerated shock. “How heartless.”

Though Reigen rolled his eyes, he felt a faint smile form on his lips. Dimple was unbelievably annoying, terribly irritating, and infinitely embarrassing, but this was already the most fun he’d had on a Christmas Eve in years. He picked a takoyaki, ready to start eating and conveniently end the conversation, but a hand grabbed his wrist – gently – before it even touched his lips. He turned to face Dimple in confusion, finding him looking almost boredly disapproving.

“Don’t eat that now, you’ll just burn yourself. I’ve seen it happen often enough, and if you start spitting takoyaki everywhere they’ll kick us back out in the cold.”

He blinked, set the untouched takoyaki down mechanically, staring at Dimple until it became obviously awkward for the both of them.

“… What? Is it that big of a deal? Are you gonna go all sappy on me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself so much,” he shrugged. “I just didn’t take you for the type to notice that.”

“What, you burning your tongue with hot food and spitting everywhere at least several times a week?”

“I don’t spit everywhere–”

“Yes you do. You’d think hot stuff can handle hot food but here we are with yet another talent you’re missing.”

That left Reigen speechless as he processed the words.

“… I definitely understand why Mob didn’t want you around,” he groaned. The light red dusting his cheeks contrasted with his annoyed expression.

Dimple looked entirely too satisfied when he turned back to his food.

______________

“What now?” Reigen asked as they walked out after finishing their takoyaki, shivering in the cold. “Did you have anything else planned or are you just winging this date as you go?”

“Let’s say that whatever my answer is, you don’t know enough about dates so as long as I don’t tell you you won’t be able to tell.”

“Do you ever stop being so annoying?”

“No,” Dimple grinned, his breath leaving his mouth in little clouds. “You’re way too easy to irritate.”

Reigen glared at him, ready to unleash a clashing reply… And sneezed. So much for looking convincing. He rubbed his freezing nose, glancing at Dimple who had turned away. Facing away from Reigen didn’t manage to hide the fact that he was laughing at him.

“Are you done?”

“Sorry,” Dimple chuckled, looking at him again. “For a ridiculous, barely functional man, you’re very cute.”

“You always have to insult me when you compliment me, don’t you?” He sighed, trying to hide his small smile behind his scarf.

Dimple didn’t answer, but the single gesture of raising an eyebrow at him said enough. Though this time, while it still obviously made fun of Reigen’s signature gesture, there was something other than mockery in it. That glint in Dimple’s eye had something almost fond in it. Reigen wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it, and was even less sure what to do with himself. He ended up huffing and looking away, mumbling.

“Just pretend to be a respectable gentleman for a little longer and walk me home.”

“Yes, yes.”

As they started walking, he shivered and wrapped his scarf a little tighter around his neck, attempting to protect himself from the cold. Despite his warm clothes, his hands felt numb, and he found himself wishing he had brought gloves.

He was taken completely by surprise when a warm hand slid into his, entwining their fingers and slowly rubbing them to warm them up. When he looked up at Dimple, he couldn’t tell if his suddenly significantly redder cheeks were from the cold or from something else.

He didn’t say anything, but left his hand in Dimple’s slightly bigger and so much warmer one. They walked in silence, hand in hand.

It was a date, after all.

[earlgraytay]

kronecker-delta replied to your post “…Why do I get the feeling most of the people complaining loudest about...”

Man, don't even look down that rabbit hole. You'll find people that think she's 'under age coded' or something before too long.

Unfortunately, I follow a couple of blogs that mock bad female armour designs, mostly because a) pretty redesigns of stupid costumes!, b) they also post some really nice beefcake in the name of ‘what if they dressed dudes like this???’

And one of them posted this. And I laughed and appreciated the beefcake, and then I ... kinda cringed, because it hit me. The person who runs the blog  doesn’t seem to know much about NieR other than a) “boy howdy there’s a lot of pervy 2B art”, b) “Kaine has a really stupid design”, c) “Taro-san has said some garbage in interviews”, d) “your pants come off when you self-destruct”. That might be uncharitable of me, but considering that they didn’t even mention the stupid upskirt ‘achievement’*, I’m guessing what they know about NieR is mostly through osmosis.

.....and it’s a shame, because design-wise? I honestly think the male and female characters in Automaticdoor are about equally sexualized, allowing for the fact that I’m not that far in the game and there’s not many easy ways to sexualise a man that don’t look silly or distracting to a modern audience. 

2B and 9S look like they came out of the same loligoth fever dream, and they’re both dressed in ways that make them look tiny and fragile and vulnerable. Adam and Eve are dressed equally skimpy when they’re dressed at all. All the members of the Resistance, male and female, are dressed practically and without dumb things like boob windows. And of course none of the machines are really sexualised thus far- Simone is clearly female, but she’s also clearly not designed to be sexy, she’s strung up with literal corpses, that kind of gets in the way of any sex appeal she might have.

 There are plenty of stupid sexist things in NieR in general, and even in Automatomato’s costume design there’s a lot of really dumb avoidable sexist crap-- the Ops uniform is just silly on every level, the LPer I’m currently watching had to double-take to make sure the Commander was wearing something under her open skirt, and  WHY ARE ALL THE YORHA AGENTS IN HIGH HEELS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, THERE IS NOT A LESS PRACTICAL SHOE YOU COULD BE WEARING IN THE POST-APOCALYPSE, JUST GO WITH WEDGE MARY JANES, THEY FIT THE AESTHETIC BETTER ANYWAY.  </pet peeve> 

But like... this particular blogger says that they want men and women in media to be dressed equally a lot, and it’s a shame, because I feel like Automata comes pretty close to the mark on that. It’s not perfect, but like... I get the feeling if there were another kind of male android in YorHa, they’d be dressed just as stupidly as the female ones, in a masc-presenting way. 

(also I can’t fault this person for not knowing this but knowing Taro-san is a known troll who doesn’t like interviews puts a slightly different complexion on that answer. Not that different, but a little different.) 

*Are most of the ‘achievements’ in Automatatas supposed to make you feel like a tool? Because so far I just know about that one and “you get an achievement for killing non-hostile androids, which in context is ALSO supposed to make you feel like a tool” .

[haiky-u-lously]

Haikyuu:R/FY/N

Chapter 11                 Chapter 12: Tsukishima Kei                Chapter 13

You felt your (dominant side) shoulder starting to tense as you took the last swig of (favorite drink). Then closed the bottle and stuck it into your bag until you could pass a garbage bin.

Feeling an intense…something…reach the back of your neck, you figured you needed to roll out your shoulder. Which you proceeded to do.

Whatever the feeling was didn’t go away and you worried you’d have to record the rest of the interviews on your phone. You didn’t mind recorded interviews, but they were more challenging to use as reference points for when you sit down to actually write, and you wanted to avoid that interview option for as many subjects as your body would allow you. So, you continued stretching your arm out. Completely oblivious to the fact that the near burning sensation was caused by Tsukishima’s hard stare.

You thought you heard your shoulder pop, and immediately stopped stretching. If that’s not good enough, then I guess it’s oh well for the written notes, you thought to yourself as you clenched your hands, just in case.

When you turned back to face the team, having had plenty of time to calm down from your embarrassment, Daichi had just walked in and was asking Suga what the team worked on in his absence. You smiled at his ability to jump straight into the captain role so quickly, even though his back was to you.

Shaking your head, you looked at the players.

Your (E/C) eyes were thoroughly and wholly pulled to a pair of near golden ones. The fire dancing in them made you feel as if you were being dragged in. Luckily, when the pull had forced you to take a step forward the gaze was broken and you were able to breathe again.

What was that? You thought placing you hand over your chest, taking a few breaths to ensure you were getting enough oxygen to your brain.

Turning your attention to the face that held the eyes, you caught the signs of a smirk. The blonde boy was undoubtedly smirking at your reaction to what just happened.

While you wanted to pout, you also felt as though his smirk was a challenge. I can’t be the one to back down right now! With that thought, you sent your widest smile to the boy before winking at him.

His eyes blew wide and his smirk was replaced with a very-welcome ‘o’ shape. You laughed and started looking amongst the players again.

Tsukishima would not allow you to pick someone else.

He had been the first to catch your attention after the captain walked back in, it was only fair for him to go next.

He was so focused on being next that he somehow didn’t realize that he was one of only two left.

Asahi looked at you while his captain spoke, wondering if he’d be next or have to wait for last. He didn’t really want to go last, because then Suga and Daichi would expect something grand from him.

However, he also didn’t want Tsukishima to go last, because he knew the boy had spent the entire practice planning out a big gesture to impress you somehow.

The rest of the team already had ideas of where they thought they stood with you, and were content with focusing on the rest of practice. Mainly, because they all thought the same thing:

Once I get to my phone…I’ll be able to talk to her again.

You couldn’t tell who was left just looking at the players.

It also didn’t help that in the span of thirty seconds the entire group had re-positioned themselves four times. You kept losing track of your secret roll-call.

When you saw the tall, glasses wearing-blonde you had messed with a minute ago, you decided that it was fine to interview him next. You didn’t know his name, so that meant you hadn’t interviewed him yet. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Catching his attention, you tried waving him over.

The boy just nodded to you, and took a few steps.

Once he stood near enough to talk, he asked, “Could we go on the upper level? I would like to watch the practice as we talk.” He seemed to scowl, and you wondered if you had angered him with your teasing. “If that’s alright that is.” He added.

You quickly gave consent, and moved to head towards the steps.

Blondie just followed you.

Reaching the top of the platform, Tsukishima took the lead and stood facing the court below. Leaning against the rail so he could easily watch his team practice below.

He smirked down at Hinata and Kageyama as the two couldn’t hide the obvious anger they felt towards his actions.

He thought he’d done well. Daichi wouldn’t be able to yell at him because he didn’t leave the gym. Suga wouldn’t complain because this was actually a safer place for you to be with all the balls that would be flying around during the serving rounds. The second years could keep their jealousy to themselves, because it wasn’t his fault they were too dumb to think of this. Yamaguchi had done well enough, but he wasn’t going to back of just because his shy friend couldn’t do more. And, god, he just loved seeing those looks on the idiot duo’s faces.

It caused his smirk to grow.

Tsukishima looked over to where you still stood at the top of the landing, and motioned you to come join him.

When you did, his smirk turned into a smile.

“Oh, so you can smile too,” You said, releasing a laugh, “And here I thought you could only smirk or look surprised.”

The boy’s scowl returned, and for the second time you wondered if you were wrong in thinking you could be more joke and sarcastic with this boy then you had been with the others. But that thought vanished when the slight tilt of his lips accompanied his own comment, “And here I thought You could only be overly happy or freaking out. But I see you can have a somewhat thoughtful expression as well.”

You returned his previous scowl momentarily before bursting out laughing. Thinking, well I do prefer to be happy…but don’t most people?

“Hahah, okay. Well then, Blondie, why don’t we start this interview.” You flipped your notebook open and looked to the boy expectantly.

He hummed in response, “Blondie is a new one. But, I’m not sure it’s any better.”

When the boy didn’t say more you sighed, “Well what should I call you? If you don’t tell me anything I’m putting your name as Kinirome Megane-san.”

You would have missed it if you weren’t watching him. But the sudden jerk of his body told you he had laughed at your statement. You mentally high-fived yourself. Who knew calling you Mr. gold-eyed glasses would make you laugh.

“It’s Tsukishima Kei.” He said turning his body away from you.

“Oh!” You snapped your head down, writing the name quickly. “You’re Yamaguchi-san’s friend Tsukki!”

Because he was turned away, you didn’t see the evident blush that crossed his features at you using the name his friend dubbed him with. “Y-yes. But only Tadashi calls me that.”

Your features become sad. You had hoped it was a nickname anyone could use because you thought it sounded really cool.

“However,” He looked towards you, “If you agree to exchange numbers with me after this, I won’t complain to you picking up the nickname as well.” The smile and wink he sent you made you shiver.

Is he flirting or teasing? You asked yourself.

Sending a smile back, “Okay Tsukki. You’ve got yourself a deal.” You frantically nodded a couple times to the boy, in a way to sign the invisible contract. In another way, to be able to make up an excuse in case he decided to mention your blush.

“So, then what now? Do I just talk or do you have specific questions, or..?” He asked, once again facing the team below him.

You flipped your stance to put your backside against the railing. “Well, I have some questions but you can start by introducing yourself a bit more?”

He just gave you a look that said, ‘are you serious?’

“Or, I can just ask some questions.” At his approval to this suggestion you went through asking a question for everything you could think of.

You found out Tsukki was a first year like you. He was in Yamaguchi’s class, which meant he was one class below you. He had been playing volleyball for as long as he could remember and thinks he started because of his brother but emphasized that his brother was not the reason he continued. He admitted to you that he had only really begun liking the sport during the latest game when he blocked out one of the nation’s top hitters. When you tried to ask more he ignored you until you moved on to a different topic.

He told you about his experience with being Karasuno’s tallest player, and how he had always anticipated his height would be a factor for his club activities since he was a child. The way he answered your questions, being so efficient in his use of words, it seemed as if he had thought through all his answers before you even posed the inquiry. After some prodding and him finally detailing some play he had a major role in, you believed you understood his personality a bit more.

“You’re a strategist.” You said bluntly.

The tall volleyball player just looked at you, silently questioning for you to say more.

Sighing you turned to face the same direction as him. Resting your arms on the rails, your shoulders landed a bit too close to Tsukishima’s for your comfort, but since he gave no inkling of caring you made no indication to move. “You stay calm and collected even in some situations where the rest of your team doesn’t. You use those abilities to make fast-paced decisions, and analyze not only your actions but the actions and movements of those around you. You direct others in a way to fit those split-second decisions and whole-heartedly commit to those that will ensure a favorable outcome. So, basically a strategist. You think through everything you have access to, and use it to make the best or most informed opinion. Relaying it to your team when you have the chance. It’s actually quite astonishing you can do something like that in such a fast-paced sport like this.”

“I see.” Tsukishima responded. You felt riled up that that was all he could respond with, but when you finally locked eyes with him you realized he was thinking through every little thing that had passed your lips. The complete blank that stood in place of his previously smirking expression, shocked you as you practically watched the gears turning in his head.

After a few seconds he seemed to pull out of his trance, and scowled at the proximity of your face to his. You waved away his scowl, asking, “So what’d you think Mr. Strategist, did what I say make sense?”

“Tsk,” He scoffed, “Obviously. I’m not dumb like Hinata and Kageyama.”

Despite the fact that he insulted your new friends, you found yourself smiling at Tsukishima. “Well, I’d hope not Tsukki-san. You are in class 1-4 after all.”

“And, you’re in 1-5. Should I know why we are stating what are obviously facts?”

You laughed, “Your memory is pretty good. I only said that once right when I got here!”

The boy just smirked at you. “Oh, but I knew it before then too.”

“Huh,” you stalled, “How?”

Tsukishima crossed his arms over his chest, his smirk deepening, “Because I’ve seen you this week obviously. I thought I was trying to get away from stating obvious things..?”

You didn’t miss the challenge in his voice. “But, Tsukki-san, if we don’t state obvious things, how can I tell you a list that would most definitely, OBVIOUSLY, be my number?” You cocked your head to its side, and pulled the cutest face you thought you had. Letting a finger tap your pencil against your lips as you finished your teasing question.

He took the pencil from your hands and held it over the bars, acting like he’d let it drop to the court below.

Instinctively you reached out for it, and the boy just side stepped while moving to hold the pencil with his other hand. With it closer to the wall and without risk of falling an entire floor you scowled at the smirking blonde. “I want my pencil back.”

“Too obvious.”

You put your hand out, “Will you please give me my pencil back?”

The boy in front of you faked a thoughtful expression. You realized it was fake when he copied your ploy of taping the eraser end of the stick to his bottom lip. Shock, embarrassment, and slight anger rushed through you as you grabbed it from his hand.

Only to have his other hand wrap around yours to hold it in place.

You were practically steaming now. Your favorite pencil was being so mistreated, and you just wanted it back.

Tsukishima spoke after what seemed like forever, with the two of you having just stared challenging-ly at one another. “Let me see the notebook first.”

You conceded.

After the quickest scribble, he put both items back into your hands. Whispering that he enjoyed talking with you and hoped the two of you could talk more, before he left you to stew and went to descend the stairs.

Putting your arm over your mouth, you muffled your screaming so that no one in the gym would hear.

Unfortunately for you, the boy you thought had already returned to the first floor had just reached the staircase and not only saw your action but heard the muffled cry as well.

“Good call, Kei.” He whispered to himself, “good call.” Thinking, I’m so glad I got these reactions to myself.

a/n: So I have the last boy’s chapter, then I’m doing a whole team chapter, then the ending few. Still taking input on who will be the boy. Thank you!

[cosmosogler]

today my brain, like some kind of drunk frat boy, said “remember that bs we did yesterday? let’s do it again! round 2!!!” in my head i am imagining sam rockwell’s voice.

i didn’t sleep well at all. my eyes felt bruised. my jaw feels bruised. my teeth hurt all the time.

i did, however, manage to shower, eat, clean up after snoopy, and pack and leave by 9:05. so i was in the physics building at 9:30. i had trouble getting settled. i was workin by 10:10 though.

snoop and i are having a disagreement about where the litter box should be. i think that it should be in an area that’s easy to keep clean. snoopy thinks it should be on top of my couch.

i worked until about 12 when i took a break for lunch. my lunch was pretty bad though and very much not enough. i felt sick even from a pbj. i managed to talk harrison into grabbing some lunch from the food court (by talking him into it i mean i asked and before i could finish he said “yes”). pizza was a bad idea... i felt sick after that too, but less like i was gonna shrivel up from lack of food. i might still be losing weight. hard to eat.

that took longer than i wanted it to so i sat back down and continued reading my textbook at 1:15-ish. i have two assignments due tomorrow... i was going to start them today. i was. i wanted to finish reading the textbook so i wouldn’t feel lost and overwhelmed when it came time to solve problems. reading is such slow going though... at 1:50 i stopped to go to my appointment with disability resources. i was there for about 50 minutes. i started feeling really upset when we went over rudimentary study strategies and what, exactly, happens when i try to take tests. danielle said she remembered that i had told my case worker that i’d passed out during the prelims.

i tried to focus on some goals. i half-joked that i was hoping she could get me reading the textbook four times as fast after my appointment. she said to focus on feeling less isolated and to try to relax. she gave me some mindfulness exercise mp3s from a web site so i downloaded a couple that looked interesting this evening. i haven’t tried them yet, but i stuck to the ones that were 5-10 minutes long.

it feels like relaxing only works half the time. last time, when i took my finals in undergrad, i felt relatively confident going into my observational astronomy test. like, i’d studied for 5 days, i hadn’t used ALL the strategies but i did go over all the material. and i got a 50% on that test. it brought my grade down from a solid b into c- territory.

so it’s hard to see the point of being less stressed when i go into tests. because now i know that being less stressed won’t actually help. that stresses me out more.

i noticed when describing how my semester has gone so far that i seem to really know what i’m talking about when i’m talking with my classmates about physics. as soon as i gotta prove that i know stuff to my professor, though, it’s all gone. and when i calm down a little and get working on problems, my brain reaches for stuff i know to connect to the questions, and it picks the wrong stuff. but i don’t notice i am using the wrong stuff, because my brain pulled it down from the shelf and told me it’s what i needed. and at that point i’m so relieved to feel like i know what i’m doing that i just do the problems completely wrong and i look hella dumb.

scrambled connections. 

so that’s where i seem to be at. some insight, maybe? after that i went back to the department, got distracted talking to suzanne (her fiance’s cousin died and they are leaving for his funeral so she won’t be around this weekend), got some cookies with keegan and harrison, and then sat down and worked for another hour and a half. 

i got that feeling, like, where if you’re doing some form of hard physical activity, stamina wise. when your stamina is gone, and you kind of realize it’s gone a few seconds before your body gives and breaks. i got that deeply uncomfortable, wrong, “it’s time to stop right now” sort of feeling. so i went home real quick after that even though i still hadn’t started my homework problems. i’d made good progress on my reading... i hoped i could read a little more at home even though it was a long shot.

when i got home i didn’t feel like washing my pots to cook anything so i made a microwave meal. i took some time to brush snoopy. i opened the window to let in some fresh air and looked out over the courtyard. i fudged around with youtube for a little bit and did some administrative emailing. i had a couple oreos, maybe three.

then i actually, honest to god, sat down and read the textbook. it was incredible. when my timer went off i took a break and stretched while snoopy watched. then i just laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling for like three minutes. 

i got back to it after i checked my updated comics! i finished the chapter, which was my goal actually. some of the work is in chapter 4, i think... the professor wants us to be 3/4 of the way through chapter 4 by tomorrow morning and we all had a good chuckle over that.

i asked around a bit and it seems like not a lot of the other students read the textbooks. i dunno. i know it’s hard, and i know it’s kind of helping me procrastinate on the actual homework, but i do feel more comfortable in lectures when i’ve read the section. it’s easier to keep track of where the professor is going. and it’s easier to figure out what the questions want me to do, and where to find helpful stuff in the book. 

some of it’s helpful, some of it’s not. i emailed both my professors in the afternoon and told them i didn’t think i’d have my assignments done by tomorrow morning. the classical professor said to just bring it in on monday which is a relief. my quantum professor didn’t get back to me. i didn’t see him in his office either. i hope he’s ok.

i finished that around 9:40. now it’s 10:15. stretching really did help a lot. might need to do that after i get home every day. stretching my back has helped a little bit, but if i do everything then i might actually feel better instead of just “not worse.” 

i somehow pulled both of my shoulders in my sleep the other night though and wearing a backpack’s been agony. it might help to get a backrub but i wouldn’t let anyone massage my back or shoulders even if i was dead. if someone came up behind my corpse it would fly away like a thrown muppet.

i don’t like massages, or spas, or that kind of stuff in general. i can tolerate being emotionally vulnerable sometimes but the idea of being physically vulnerable is like a cold wall of fear and uncertainty and anxiety. i’m already physically vulnerable. if you wanted to grab me or hurt me there’s not really anything i could do about it. but specifically relaxing, in water where it’s hard to move, or laying down or letting someone stand around behind me, feels like it’s inviting problems. can’t do it. 

that and my back has all kinds of nerve damage from my heart surgery. when people touch the area wrong or it gets bumped on a table my whole side either feels like knives or just goes fuzzy and numb and i can’t move my arm any more. neither of those feels good!!!

my side gets sore when it’s muggy out too. since the scar tissue is on my right side, having my whole dominant arm be kind of weak and fussy is really irritating.

i know it could get worse. i know things could be worse. but that doesn’t mean they are good now.

thinkin about that makes me miserable.

it feels like a got a lot done today. but it also feels like i got the wrong stuff done, even though i know that my homework would have been frustrating and basically impossible without doing all this reading first. i hate sitting and reading the textbook and my classmates look over and ask how much of the assignment i’ve got done and i have to say “none” even as the sun goes down and the staff goes home.

it feels like i didn’t try hard enough, even though i literally could not have done any more today. my best just isn’t good enough. baby steps aren’t what my professors want. they want me running the marathon with everyone else. i mean, yeah, walking a bit is better than laying on the ground, but i’m still not gonna hit the finish line by the end of the day. it’s so, so hard to get to the end of the day and praise myself for doing just a little bit, even when i feel like hot garbage and one problem was a gargantuan effort. it’s so discouraging to look at my work and be like, “yeah! i did it! i read for an hour today, even though i was very depressed!” when i needed to read for five hours, and now tomorrow to catch up i have to read for another five hours plus the four i didn’t get around to that day.

i mean, it’s not ten hours i need to catch up on. it could be worse. but nine hours is still not good. nine hours is still really bad!

i mentioned a stupid thing before the “read more” cut that i didn’t get around to during the bulk of my entry. i had another panic attack for like forty minutes. right when i left my apartment before i even got to the elevator i felt sick and sweaty and breathless. i wanted to complain to someone but there wasn’t no one there so i just struggled to breathe by myself for a while. it was basically a repeat of yesterday. angry about a big dude grabbing me in the dark and instead of apologizing, saying “i’ll touch you whenever i want.” REAL COOL!!! he’s my step dad. not technically related. 

i don’t like having panic attacks. don’t get a lot done when that’s happening and afterward i just feel drained and that makes it hard to get moving again. i’m still upset. but i really don’t feel comfortable making myself all gooey and weak in front of these people i hardly know, especially when they ain’t really talked about any of their problems either. i don’t wanna freak out at someone i don’t know that well four weeks into the semester. that would be bad.

anyway i’m going to go to bed on time for once tonight, so i gotta wrap it up here. i’m so tired. i’m going to do that five-minute meditation thing and see if that changes anything.

(edit: it helped.)

[auburnfamilynews]

A look back at Gus Malzahn’s first signing class.

Next Wednesday, Auburn will close on another signing class. Afterwards, everyone, including yours truly, will attempt to explain to you dear readers why this is a class you should be excited about based off the bits of film they’ve seen of said signees. Some will explain how the fact that one class has a higher player rating average means that their class is in fact much better than their rivals’ ranked 3 spots higher while others will point to the sheer depth of their class as why it is in fact the best.

But the truth is we actually have no idea how good or not good a class is next Wednesday. Yes, it’s been shown over and over again that schools who typically finish ranked higher tend to be more successful. You will never hear me debate that fact. However, the level of success of a class can’t really be judged until those kids hit the gridiron. So this week, we here at College & Magnolia have taken the time go back and re rank Auburn’s signing classes based on their actual success on the field. It will be interesting to see if some classes that were thought to be poor end up strong while great on paper classes turn to disappointment upon reexamination.

I should point out that we are ranking based on the success of the player while at Auburn. We aren’t concerned about where they landed in the NFL Draft or any success they might have had after leaving the Plains. We are grading strictly on how these players produced while donning the orange and blue. Our final rating is an average of grades (1-5) given to signees by the majority of the brain trust here at C&M. You could call it a C&M Composite score if you so felt inclined...

Anyway, enough rambling, onto the re-ranks!

Consensus Five Stars

We start first with the folks that we all agreed were 5* impact players for the Tigers. What we defined as 5* is pretty subjective but for me at least it’s someone that was not only ultra productive but raised the level of play of those around him as well. Three 5*s in a single class ain’t bad at all.

#14 QB Nick Marshall

247 Composite: 3* | #27 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO QB | #6 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 320-532 (60.2%) 4,508 yards 34 TD 13 INT 147.5 QBR 325 carries 1,866 yards 5.7 avg 23 TD 3 rec 51 yds 17.0 avg

C&M Composite: 5.00

This was the easiest rerank of the class. Marshall was the engine behind Auburn’s high powered offenses in 2013 and 2014. I will completely admit to the fact that I was very confused on why Gus would take a flyer on a 20+ INT thrower from some JUCO when he had the stud QB of the future coming in the same class back in 2013. But you see, there is a reason I am an internet blogger and not a multi million dollar head football coach.

#18 K Daniel Carlson

247 Composite: 3* | N/A OVR | #2 K | #6 CO

Career Stats: 198-198 XP (100%) 92-114 (80.7%) TD

C&M Composite: 5.00

One of the dumbest things recruiting sites do is give kickers a ceiling of 3*s. Not here at College & Magnolia. Our experts here understand the value of kickers especially someone like Mr. Legatron whom not only leads Auburn in scoring but the SEC overall. That’s right, no human being that has ever played in the best football conference in America has scored as many points as Daniel Carlson. Did you see that Mike?

#55 BUCK/DE Carl Lawson

247 Composite: 5* | #22 OVR | #1 WDE | #3 GA

Career Stats: 67 tackles 24.5 TFL 14.5 sacks 3 FF

C&M Composite: 5.00

There will always be a feeling of what if with Lawson. What if he had not missed all of 2015? But that one year actually helped prove just how valuable a player he was to that Auburn defense. Teams always had to account for Lawson which opened up opportunities for guys elsewhere and his leadership was special. He’s now making a bunch of NFL front offices look super dumb which is just an added bonus honestly.

The Four Stars

What you are going to notice about this class is it is very top heavy. In some other re-ranks I will have to delineate a bit at the 4* level but in 2013, guys were pretty clearly either a consensus 5* or a consensus 4*.

#23 S Johnathan “Rudy” Ford

247 Composite: 4* | #306 OVR | #22 RB | #13 AL

Career Stats: 280 tackles 12.5 TFL 2.0 sacks 5 INT TD 11 PD FR 3 FF

C&M Composite: 4.17

Auburn flipped Ford from Vanderbilt late in the 2013 class and brought him on as a running back. He switched to defense before his sophomore year where he became an instant impact player and led the Tigers in tackles the next two seasons. I still think he could have been a dang good tailback if he left on that side of the ball but hard to complain too much about how his career turned out.

#1 Montravius Adams

247 Composite: 5* | #10 OVR | #3 DT | #2 GA

Career Stats: 147 tackles 19.5 TFL 10.5 sacks 2 INT 3 PD 3 FR TD 3 FF

C&M Composite: 4.00

I was a bit surprised to see consensus across the board that Adams was a 4*. This was a tough one because we all love Adams and there’s no denying he had a productive career for the Tigers. But consistency eluded him and he just never seemed to have that one big game changing moment in his career. If I were fully re-ranking the 2013 class he might be a 4* but he would be a top 50 player just outside the 5*s. If you disagree, feel free to make a passionate case for Adams in the comments, chances are high you will convince us.

#44 Cameron Artis-Payne

247 Composite: 3* | #60 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO RB | #17 JUCO CA

Career Stats: 394 carries 2,218 yds 5.6 avg 19 TD 14 rec 151 yds

C&M Composite: 4.00

I vividly remembering telling my buddy with me in Atlanta when Artis-Payne broke off that tremendous late TD run against Missouri that the Tigers would be just fine at tailback in 2014. Artis-Payne was another successful JUCO hit for Malzahn and I think is overlooked in Auburn RB lore. He was insanely light on his feet for a 210 lb running back and delivered more blows than he took that season.

Borderline Four Star

Here resides one player where the C&M crew had mixed thoughts on his rank. The 4s outweighed the 3s though.

#25 Peyton Barber

247 Composite: 3* | #482 OVR | #30 RB | #42 GA

Career Stats: 248 carries 1,071 yds 4.3 avg 13 TD 11 rec 112 yds 10.2 avg

C&M Composite: 3.83

Barber’s career has been far from typical. A nasty knee injury robbed him of his junior year in high school and resulted in him not being as highly pursued as he probably should have been. He redshirted in 2013 and took garbage time reps in 2014 before emerging as the lead tailback for much of the tumultuous 2015 campaign when all of Auburn’s other more highly rated backs were all hurt. Then, after a fantastic redshirt sophomore year, Barber shockingly declared for the NFL though he gave a pretty good reason for it later. Now he’s Tampa Bay’s starting tailback after going undrafted and battling a learning disability all his life. Keep doing you Peyton.

Three Star-ish

Here we find a trio of key contributors that didn’t necessarily have consensus on their rank. One had a few more 4* votes while the other two picked up some lower 2* and even a 1* rank.

#80 Marcus Davis

247 Composite: 3* | #865 OVR | #69 CB | #126 FL

Career Stats: 83 rec 650 yds 7.8 avg 3 TD

C&M Composite: 3.33

Davis’s best year ended up being his first one. He never broke the 200 yard barrier after a strong debut season in 2013. But I will never forget that wheel route catch against Texas A&M.

#53 Devonte Danzey

247 Composite: 3* | #106 JUCO OVR | #2 JUCO OG | #18 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 10 starts

C&M Composite: 2.83

Danzey was never a star for the Tigers but was a crucial backup in both 2014 and 2015. He started 7 games at left guard in 2014 and filled in for an injured Xavier Dampeer at center the final 3 games of the 2015 campaign.

#50 Ben Bradley

247 Composite: 4* | #16 JUCO OVR | #6 JUCO DT | #3 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 36 tackles 6.0 TFL sack

C&M Composite: 2.50

Bradley was an important rotational piece for Auburn’s defensive line in 2013 and 2014. Never a major impact player, Bradley saw plenty of action and was a useful backup for the Tigers when Adams or Dontavius Russell needed a blow.

The Two Stars

This is an interesting category. Some names here I feel might have been judged too harshly while others probably given too much credit. As you can see, this 2013 class was very top but filled with a lot of signees who never really made a huge impact.

#8 Tony Stevens

247 Composite: 4* | #130 OVR | #16 WR | #23 FL

Career Stats: 50 rec 751 yds 15.0 avg 5 TD

C&M Composite: 2.33

I was a bit surprised to see Stevens rated so low by some of my esteemed colleagues. I personally had him as a clear 3* talent but can understand some of the harsh grading. Stevens would have moments where you believed the top 150 talent was showing out but would often times disappear for long stretches. His inability to stay healthy undoubtedly played a large role in those consistency struggles as well.

#6 Jeremy Johnson

247 Composite: 4* | #164 OVR | #11 PRO QB | #7 AL

Career Stats: 179-282 (63.5%) 2,223 yds 20 TD 11 INT 73 carries 210 yds 2.9 avg 9 TD

C&M Composite: 2.33

There’s no point in rehashing this story that has been told plenty. All I will say is that I greatly respected the way Johnson handled his struggles both during his collegiate career and after. He’s still got a fan in me.

#29 Brandon King

247 Composite: 3* | #176 JUCO OVR | #14 JUCO S | #28 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 19 tackles FR

C&M Composite: 2.33

Despite having a pretty nondescript career for the Tigers, King has carved out a niche in the NFL as a special teams beast and is finishing his 4th year with New England. Not a bad way to make a living.

#47 Cameron Toney

247 Composite: 3* | #433 OVR | #28 ILB | #15 AL

Career Stats: 7 tackles

C&M Composite: 2*

I really liked Toney coming out of high school but there were some concerns about his athleticism. He proved too slow to play linebacker and not big enough to play defensive line. I think though he could have been a half decent Buck if he could have played in Kevin Steele’s system. Muschamp moved him there in 2015 before he left the team.

#75 Deon Mix

247 Composite: 3* | #459 OVR | #25 OG | #7 MS

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 2.00

Mix was a career backup for the Tigers before transferring to Houston. There was always talk he was in the “Mix” at center but it never came to fruition. Sorry, just wanted to type that sentence.

The Busts

Probably harsh but this is a harsh business. There’s an uncomfortable amount of 1s in this class though it’s not a huge surprise considering that Gus had to scramble to put this class together after being hired.

#22 Khari Harding

247 Composite: 3* | #635 OVR | #45 S | #5 OK

Career Stats: 4 tackles

C&M Composite: 1.17

I loved Harding’s tape coming out of high school and was so excited when the Tigers stole him away from the Hogs. But sadly, illness in his family cut his Auburn career short and he transferred back to Tulsa where he never really made much of an impact.

#44 Kenny Flowers

247 Composite: 3* | #67 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO ILB | #13 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 9 tackles TFL

C&M Composite: 1.17

Flowers was a hard hitting backer out of JUCO who looked poised to find a role early on a defense that needed help at linebacker. That never materialized and Flowers left the Plains without ever hearing his name called much on Saturdays, though he did win the Defensive MVP in the 2014 A-Day Game.

#97 Elijah Daniel

247 Composite: 4* | #55 OVR | #6 SDE | #2 IN

Career Stats: 23 tackles 5.5 TFL 3.5 sacks

C&M Composite: 1.00

Daniel was a nice signing day surprise that did not work out. After an encouraging sophomore campaign that saw the Indiana native make the move inside where he proved more effective, Daniel was dismissed from the team after being arrested for burglary.

#83 Dominic Walker

247 Composite: 3* | #500 OVR | #71 WR | #76 FL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1*

Walker decided to join teammate Tony Stevens on the Plains in 2013, flipping from Nebraska which did not go over well with the typically pleasant Bo Pelini. Sadly, Walker’s career didn’t amount to much on the Plains and he transferred to Troy after redshirting.

#37 Kamryn Melton

247 Composite: 3* | #542 OVR | #40 CB | #18 AL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1*

Melton was apart of the DB migration in 2015 when Will Muschamp came back to town. He ended up playing two solid seasons for Troy in 2016 and 2017.

#21 Mackenro Alexander

247 Composite: 3* | #585 OVR | #40 S | #86 FL

Career Stats: 4 tackles 1.5 TFL

C&M Composite: 1.00

Auburn’s first attempt at a package deal under Gus went poorly. Clemson landed 5* Mackenzie Alexander who went on to have a brilliant career for the purple shaded Tigers. Mackenro picked Auburn where after two seasons of not contributing he transferred to Iowa State where he had a solid senior year.

Earnest Robinson

247 Composite: 4* | #296 OVR | #43 WR| #11 AL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1.00

Robinson failed to qualify after signing with the Tigers and then was arrested for setting up a man for a robbery a year later. Kid had immense talent but that can only get you so far.

This class was ranked #10 overall in 2013 which was only good for 6th in the conference because that’s life in the SEC. It proved incredibly top heavy with three clear 5* impact players, one more borderline 5* talent, two outstanding tailbacks and then a whole lotta meh. This was really Gus Malzahn’s Year 0 class considering he didn’t have all cycle to recruit these kids. So while this class lacked depth, it did provide plenty of punch at the top of the list to make it a solid first signing class for Malzahn. Tomorrow, we will take a look at the very interesting 2014 group.

War Eagle!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/1/29/18196000/re-ranking-auburn-signing-classes-2013