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turtlemagnum · 7 months ago

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long rant! beware of the long rant!!

not to be an asshole but i am absolutely a "lol, look at this idiot believing in things" kind of person. i feel like a lot of popular deconstruction of social constructs and fixed concepts still come out the other side with the take away of "just because we made it up doesn't mean it isn't real", which i personally find to be a bit silly. "oh yeah, gender is based on popular perceptions of physical reality rather than physical reality itself, but i still believe in its validity as a concept!" this thought process, in my opinion, terminates the truly hard part of coming to terms with the fullest implications of your logic. if a concept has no basis in physical reality beyond what we perceive and enforce it to have, then it isn't really a concept worth keeping around. that doesn't mean you can't keep around the aspects of that concept that you personally find pleasing or useful, but ultimately you should still be conscious of the fact that it only has use insofar as you choose to use them, and shouldn't be adhered to as an ideal

to provide an example of this in practice, here are my views on my own gender and morality. as mentioned previously i don't really view gender to be a valid concept, but in the end i still find i enjoy particular trappings of what i was raised into. by most outward actions and appearances, i'm a man. i actually quite enjoy being big and strong and taking care of those around me to the best of my ability, those are traits conventionally associated with "manhood" that i find personally find quite enjoyable. i also feel completely comfortable crying, expressing my thoughts and feelings openly, and occasionally getting rid of body hair that's grown to bother me. these are, of course, conventionally unmanly things, but i find no trouble in them because manhood is less of a hard ruleset that i feel i must abide by and more a cluster of traits that i can choose from to see if i enjoy them. it's not who i am fundamentally, it's an aspect of who i am that mostly just influences sensibilities in regards to my appearance.

now, morality. i'd consider it to have even less validity as a concept than gender. gender, you can at least usually tell at a glance what somebody is, or at least what they're expected to be. with morality, it purely exists in your conceptions of it and the actions you take to further it. if you stop believing in it, nobody would be able to outwardly tell, and you have no real obligation in everyday life to stick to common perceptions of morality beyond what's legal (and even then, everything's legal if you don't get caught). and i understand that when i say shit like "morality isn't real", most people's first instinct is gonna be like "oh god, this guy's a randian shithead who thinks child labor is 'based' or some shit". but, notice what i said earlier about liking helping people? i don't think humans are fundamentally anything, i don't think you can define "humanity" without excluding someone that i'd still consider to be a human being. so while i don't think it's necessarily in human nature as a whole to want to help and care for others, it's still definitely something i personally find valuable. i lived in a shitty apartment complex for most of my life, and to this day one of the only good memories i have of that place was helping an old neighbor lady get her groceries into her apartment. i didn't quite think the same way i do now, but i know i'd've done the same today because even without morality, that wasn't why i helped her. it wasn't a matter of adhering to a strict moral compass, it was a matter of wanting to help somebody, just because it felt right.

there's this one little quote by hideki naganuma, one where he described music theory as something that people do to music after the fact to try to explain why it sounded good. i think that morality is a lot like that. you're trying to use technical, objective logic to try to prove that something is "right". and like music, it's subjective. you gotta realize that you're applying logic to the illogical, just trying to make sense of an inherently chaotic and subjective existence. sometimes, things happen for no real discernible reason. sometimes you do things for no real reason beyond "because i wanted to". and that's fine! we're animals! not in the conservative "urgh, people are all animals, we need law and order to keep us all from killing and rampaging like a bunch of assholes!", but in the very literal, physical sense. we're descended from monkeys that learned how to bang rocks together good enough that our fur fell off and we started needing clothes. we're not above nature, we're a part of it, and i feel like any attempts to compartmentalize ourselves as separate from the world around us just ends up hurting both ourselves and the world. you don't gotta do something because some dead pretentious white guy said you've gotta do things a certain way to earn as many good boy points as possible. you can eat just because you're hungry

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patheticdarling · 3 years ago

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Better Off

Summary: Loki continuously tells Reader that she’s too good for him, pushing her to go after someone more pure-hearted. But how will he feel when she actually does? Only person he can confide in is his mother.

Warnings: coarse language/mention of suicide/harsh break up/kissing/

(guys, angst is really my favorite to write lol)

*italics=flashbacks*

Word Count: 2516

*NOT MY GIF*

“Loki, please,” your voice shook, “Please just tell me what’s wrong? Why’re you acting like this-”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME Y/N?!” Loki exploded.

“W-What’re you talking about?” you asked, as you nearly stumbled back from the harshness of his tone.

“You heard me,” he spat, “Why do you continue to pester me? To linger around me? When I have never asked you to.”

“Because I love you,” you spoke up. Your voice sounding partially offended at why Loki was asking such, in your opinion, a stupid question.

“Love me?” Loki scoffed, “How could you ever love me?”

“How could I not?” you rebutted, “Loki, ever since I met you, I’ve loved you. From how well we’ve gotten on, I thought you might’ve felt the same.”

He bit into his bottom lip before shaking his head, “Well, you’re wrong. I don’t love you. I don’t love anyone.”

“Really?” you asked, your voice quivering painfully, “That’s truly how you feel?” Silence, “IS IT?!”

“YES!” Loki’s voice shook, “That is truly how I feel. Now, leave.”

You nodded as tears fell from your eyes, “Fine. But I want you to know that the moment I walk out that door, I’m never coming back.”

Loki let out a shaky breath, “Fine.”

“Fine,” you repeated before rushing out of the room, tears streaking down your face.

“AGHHHHH!” Loki scram, throwing his desk from across the room.

That was months ago and Loki learned that you had truly meant what you said. You had never and probably were never coming back. Loki spent nearly, if not all, of his time locked away in his room. Frigga being the main one to check on him, Thor sparingly and then not at all.

“Loki?” Frigga’s soft voice called as she pushed the door open, a tray of food in her hands, “I’ve brought your breakfast, dear.”

“Leave it,” Loki spoke as he sat in a chair in the far corner of his room.

“Well, you should eat it soon before it goes spoiled,” she explained.

“Got it,” Loki nodded, “Goodbye, Mother.”

Frigga took a deep breath, “Actually, Loki, there was something else I needed to see you about.”

“Not interested,” Loki muttered.

Frigga cleared her throat, “It’s about Y/N.”

Loki’s breath caught in his throat before he swallowed harshly, “What about her?”

“Um,” Frigga cleared her throat awkwardly as she sat on Loki’s bed, “She’s getting married.”

Loki felt as if his heart had stopped beating as the words left his mother’s lips. His mind going blank, feeling almost paralysed.

“Loki?” Frigga tried to snap him from his trance, “Are you alright?”

“She’s getting married,” Loki muttered as his eyes brimmed with tears.

“She is,” Frigga answered, “To Thor.”

As if the pain couldn’t get more torturous. His own mother telling him, so plainly, that the love of his life was to marry his older brother.

“What?” Loki spat.

“Thor didn’t want me to tell you but they’ve been courting for a while. And then he asked for her hand,” Frigga explained, “They marry as early as tomorrow evening, your Father’s idea.”

Loki’s breathing grew harsh, “When did this happen? How did this happen?”

“Loki, dear, you have to understand what Y/N went through-”

“WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WENT THROUGH?!” Loki shouted, “Doesn’t that matter to anybody?”

“Of course it does,” Frigga was quick to interject, “But Loki you have to understand. Thor was there for her when nobody else was.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked.

Frigga sighed, “After you and Y/N stopped seeing each other, she got low and I mean really low. I’d never seen a sadder sight than looking that poor girl in the eyes. She never came out of her room. She didn’t eat, drink, or sleep. She refused to talk to just about everybody. Loki she tried..” Frigga’s voice broke a bit.

“What? Mother, what happened?”

“She tried to take her own life, Loki,” Frigga answered as tears fell from her own eyes.

“W-What?” Loki’s voice quivered, “Why wasn’t I told?”

“You told all of us never to mention Y/N to you again. She even said she didn’t want to bother you with it all,” Frigga explained.

“Well, what happened exactly?”

“Thor and I went to bring her dinner and we found her standing on the railing of the balcony. She looked so exhausted, her hair was amok,” Frigga explained, “And she was sobbing. She tried to jump but your brother caught her. If he hadn’t been there, Y/N would be gone. They talked for hours, into the early morning.”

Tears had now fallen from Loki’s eyes as he tried to wipe them away, “I see.”

“Mainly about you, you know,” Frigga sighed, “Y/N was upset, naturally. But your brother, as much as you spite him, spoke very highly of you. Got Y/N to realize why you had done what you did.”

Loki sighed, “D-Do you think she’s forgiven me?”

“I can’t say, darling,” Frigga answered as she tucked a piece of Loki’s tattered curls behind his ear, “I think you would need to ask her yourself.”

Loki shook his head, “She’d never look at me, let alone speak to me.”

Frigga sighed, “I think it’s worth the try, if you do.”

“I’ll think about it,” Loki answered.

Thor and you were returning to your chambers after a sweet picnic in the palace gardens. Walking with your arm threaded through his.

“I swear Asgardian fruit is better than almost everything we have on Earth,” you giggled.

“Almost?” Thor chuckled, “What could possibly be better?”

“You clearly have never had New York Style Pizza,” you laughed.

“Ahh, Stark has mentioned this,” Thor explained, “He too speaks very highly of it.”

“Exactly my point,” you smiled as you approached your chambers.

“Maybe next time we visit, we’ll have to-” Thor’s words were cut short as your opened chamber doors revealed Loki standing nervously in the middle of your room, “Brother,” Thor cleared his throat, “I was going to see you later. What’re you doing here?”

You could feel your heart racing as you looked at the dark figure, those blue piercing eyes unlocking every bit of your soul with one glance.

Loki’s eyes were transfixed on you before Thor’s question brought him back, “I,” he cleared his throat, “I actually needed to speak with Y/N.”

“Not interested,” you spoke up, “My fiance and I are busy.”

The words stung you just as much as they stung Loki. He hated the way your arm fit with Thor’s, all he wanted to do was rip you away and pull you onto him.

“Y/N, please,” Loki pleaded.

You took your arm from Thor’s, striding over to Loki. His face brightening at the thought of you speaking to him, “Excuse me,” you pushed past him, “I just need my coat.” You grabbed your coat, turning to leave with Thor.

Before Loki’s hand caught your wrist, “Y/N.”

“Let me go,” you struggled, not bothering to turn around.

“Y/N, just listen to me, please-”

Slap, you struck the side of Loki’s face. Your chest heaving as tears fell from your eyes, “NO!”

Loki rolled his neck, gritting his teeth before returning his eyes to yours, “Y/N, darling, please.” His tender and broken tone made you weak in the knees and you felt yourself give in.

You bit back your sobs, “Thor, give us a moment please?” Your eyes searing into Loki’s as tears continued to roll down your cheeks.

“I-I’ll just meet you in the dining room, Y/N,” Thor explained before the sounds of the doors closing followed.

“Make it quick,” you snatched your arm from him.

“First, I want to say I never meant to hurt you as I did,” Loki spoke.

You scoffed, “Really? Because it really seemed like you meant to hurt me as badly as you possibly could.”

Loki shook his head, “That’s not true, Y/N. I swear.”

“And why should I believe anything you say?” you scoff, “I believed you when you said you loved me, and then you were just fine with never seeing me again.”

“Y/N, I’m truly sorry-”

“Sorry?” you interjected, “All you have to say is you’re sorry?”

“Well, I-”

“You broke me!” you sobbed, “I was a shell of a human being because of you! Broken, empty, alone, scared! All because of you! All because of your lies and your empty promises and your backstabbing! You did it all and you had no remorse in doing so.”

Your voice quivered with anger and pain as tears streamed profusely. Loki’s mouth fell open at your words as small tears slid down his porcelain cheeks.

You let out a trembling breath, “I gave you my heart, so willingly. Trusting that you’d never break it. And yet, you shattered it. Into millions of pieces. I gave you my trust and you threw it away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. And that’s all I’ve felt like since you sent me away.”

Loki, for once in life, seemed at a loss for words. His wit and charm out the window as he stared at the love of his life explaining all the ways he had hurt her, broke her.

“I do love you,” Loki finally spoke. You moved to speak, “And I have regretted that day ever since,” he sniffled, “Y/N, you are one of the few reasons I still believe there is good left in the world. You are one of the sole reasons I choose to remain being part of it. My primary reason for existing.”

“Loki-” you whispered.

“Please,” he cut you off, “I just want you to know that you mean everything to me. And all I want is for you to be happy. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you, truly I am.”

You swallowed harshly as you nodded your head in understanding. There was another moment of silence before the doors to your chamber fell open again.

“Oh,” Thor’s voice interrupted, “Are the two of you almost done? Father has requested Y/N and me for dinner to celebrate the wedding. Loki, you’re welcome too, of course. I can tell him that we’ll be there a bit later.”

Loki’s eyes never left yours, “No, that’s alright. I’ve come to say what I needed.” You let out a trembling breath as Loki moved past you. “Congratulations on the wedding. Sorry to say I will not be joining you this evening, I have some things I need to take care of. Good night.”

You wanted to call after him but you didn’t know what you could possibly say. You just stood there, still facing away from Thor as you bit back the sobs.

“Y/N, love?” Thor’s voice approached, “Are you okay?”

You wiped your tears away as best you could, turning to face Thor, “Fine. I-I just don’t feel all too well. Do you think the king would mind if we reschedule?”

Thor nodded, “He’ll be fine. Just try to get some rest. I’ll have one of your ladies bring you your dinner while I dine with Mother and Father, alright?”

“Thank you,” you leaned in, Thor doing the same, before you swivelled to peck his cheek, “Good night, Thor.”

He smiled politely, “Good night, Y/N.”

You were laying in bed, tossing and turning. Thor’s stiff body on the other side of the bed, sleeping soundly. You sat up, pushing your hair from your face. You looked over to the snoring god before pushing yourself out of bed. Maybe a late-night stroll could make you tired.

You sauntered through the palace corridors, with no real direction or any idea of where your final destination might be. That was until you found yourself planted right in front of Loki’s chamber doors, your feet knowing the way as if it were second nature. And before you knew it or could even comprehend it, you had given two soft knocks.

The door cracked open, nobody there to greet you. So, you carefully stepped into the room, unaware of what you’d find. But what your eyes fell upon broke your heart. The room itself was also awry. Furniture scattered and broken all around, bed torn apart as if a blade had sliced through. But an even worse sight shook your core. There was Loki, except it seemed so far from him. His usual neatly slicked back hair was a mess of matted curls and his fine Asgardian leathers were scattered about as he was left in his untucked tunic and pants. And he was sat upon the floor, his back leaning against the wall as he stared out onto the terrace.

“Sorry about the mess,” he muttered, “I wasn’t expecting company.”

“It’s alright,” you whispered as you made your way over to him.

His eyes stuck to the view, “Shouldn’t you be getting some rest? You’ve got your wedding tomorrow.”

“You’re right,” you answered as you sunk down next to him.

“And yet here you are,” Loki spoke.

“And yet here I am,” you repeated.

“Why? Why are you here? What good could it possibly do either of us?” Loki asked, finally shifting to look at you.

You still couldn’t meet his eyes, “I-I don’t really know, honestly.”

“You don’t know?” Loki repeated.

“I don’t know lots of things. I don’t know why I’m here instead of sleeping peacefully next to a wonderful and kind man who has done nothing but treat me with respect. A man who says he loves me and wants to marry me for reasons I cannot explain or fathom.”

“Exactly,” Loki whispered as his gaze went back to the view.

“But, I do know that I cannot marry him,” you spoke as your eyes drifted over to Loki.”

Loki furrowed his brow, “What?” His deep green eyes finally meeting yours.

“I can’t marry Thor,” you whispered, “It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?” Loki asked as his eyes moved between your eyes and your lips.

“He loves me,” you answered, “But I do not love him,” your voice trembled, “Not like I love you.”

Loki let out a sharp breath before smashing his lips onto yours. You could do nothing but sink into the kiss, your fingers entangling in his raven locks.

You finally pulled away, catching your breath as you rested your foreheads together, “Do you love me?” you practically sobbed.

Loki pulled his forehead from yours, lifting your face into his palms and pulling you into another soft yet passionate kiss, “Of course, I love you. More than anything.”

You bit back the tears before nestling up to Loki. His arms instinctively going around you as you both gazed up at the stars that decorated Asgard’s sky.

“What do we do now?” you whispered.

Loki shifted, pulling you closer, “I don’t know,” he shrugged, “All I know is that, right now, I don’t want to let you go. So, whatever we have to deal with, it can wait till tomorrow. Right now, it’s just you and I, my love.”

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gonnahypatia · 4 years ago

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Ch.44 Review: OP is mad at Garden

(Analysis also posted on Wise HQ, feel free to chat with us over there! 🤍🖤🤍)

My my, we have a lot to unpack this week.

Again, forgive me if I say something that someone else has said, I usually work to bring something new/original to the discussion but since the hivemind is so strong it's possible we'll have the same ideas lmao''

First, I'd like to talk about our new mysterious character: The Shopkeeper.

I'm already missing Bluw's design because the assassin granny was just the best, but I can say that Endo's choice was very interesting this time. Since I'm not sure if the Shopkeeper has confirmed pronouns, I'll be using they/them when referring to them. What stands out to me about them at first is that they're, apparently, non-white and if I had to make bets, I'd say Endo wanted to code them as Indian/Middle-Eastern, considering the deep eyebags and the collar of the shirt. If we wanted to go even further, I'd dare to point out their garden doesn't look very Western to me. I don't have words to describe it well, but this garden has a more "busy", crowded and stuffy feeling when compared to western gardening styles, which usually have a lot of open areas with grass. Also, we can see that tower/turret thing at the background that has a more Indian architecture feel to it, so Idk, either Endo put a lot of depth into this character or I am reading too much into it as always lel'. If any Indian / Middle-Eastern folk can confirm or debunk my analysis of fictional gardens, please feel free to hit me up at the DMs~~

About Shopkeeper's opinion on Yor's marriage, I can't say I'm surprised about them not being 100% on board with it and how it affected her job, but it intrigues me how apparently (as Tare pointed out on Discord based on the Indonesian translation) Yor presented this as a real deal and not a scam marriage purely for hiding her Thorn Princess persona. If the Shopkeeper knew it wasn't real, they wouldn't be so worried about "testing" Yor as soon as they met, right? Maybe they're being overly cautious, who knows, but it fills me with all the sad/fluff feelings the thought that Yor presented her family as a real one to a person she shouldn't have to hide anything about, considering her job should be top priority. And talking about hiding stuff...

Garden is with the Mob... And I don't know what to say about it lol'

I had my theories they were still legal to some extent and part of a shadow government that had the official one as a puppet, but their involvement with the Mob makes things kinda tricky (we can also imagine the Gretcher organization is anti-Westalis as well but still...). In a way, I think I'm still right, otherwise I doubt Yor's manager at City Hall would be involved with this as well, so I still stand by my Legal Garden flag.

However, Yor's principles here also make me throw fire at my planning boards because sweetie, this is the f*cking Mafia. To what extent goes the gray morality of Garden and their underlings? Shopkeeper does say the Gretchers have controlled Ostania's underworld in "an honorable fashion". Just what does it mean? To shed the less blood possible? To not allow petty criminals go rampage? Or just eliminate every single enemy in the radar so now they finally managed their revenge in killing the male heirs? There's too much going on here, help.

I would also like to dedicate a minute to our new favorite milf.

God, I am going to simp for Olka hard, I bet on it. She's so pretty, just look at her! Also, sorry to rain on everyone's parade, but while I really crave some mothers bonding time between her and Yor, I have a feeling this lady will be very evil when the time comes. She shouldn't trust nobody at this point, so if there's a moment if she has to sell out Yor, even knowing she has a family of her own at the ship, I feel like she'll do it in a heartbeat, in a twisted way of showing how far a mother's love goes for their children. Again, guys, she's a Cool Mom, but she's also Mafia. Endo already has shown to not pity these gray characters with angsty pasts, so I can see this is as a good opportunity to stop this soft filter / romantization in Yor's lines of work and show what Garden really stands for.

Now, finally, the start of this chapter and arc: Yor.

Gosh, I'm worried. I'm worried for Yor and I'm worried about having too many feelings about a fictional character a.k.a Yor.

During all this time, we were under the impression Yor enjoyed her job due this sense of duty

towards her country, making it even with how it brought her a comfortable life when she was younger and had to care for Yuri. We could even point out that she enjoyed being the Thorn Princess so much she was willing to be part of a scam marriage to appear more normal and not call the attention of authorities.

However, now we see that's not all of it and apparently her worries about Yuri were the very main reason she took this life, to the point that now she realizes Yuri has a life of his own, she doesn't feel the need to do this kind of work anymore. Did she truly feel comfortable with it in the first place? The fact that she "needs to get her motivation" for it truly bugs me and makes me wonder how much of her mental state was sacrificed over these years until she got used to the killing. And while we're on the mood for angst, let's talk about a (not very plausible) scenario in which this is her last job and she manages to leave Garden. Then what is the point of their fake family? It appears to me her new most important matter is Loid and Anya and she wants to put them to safety by not being an assassin anymore, but it still worries me she'd feel out of place somehow, which is a shame because we can really see how she wants to spend real moments with them without worrying about work. Grrr, Endo better treat my girl right or else he'll get these online fists (9`へ´*)9

Well, that's all for this week, let's get our hopes up for the next chapter!! ❤️

#spy x family #sxf #yor briar #sxf meta

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cautionworks · 4 years ago

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Okay, so I wanted to write some NSFW Headcanons for Hisoka. All of these headcanons I said are purely based on my interpretation. I have read some other Hisoka headcanons before but I forgot about them a while ago. Plus I know nothing about actual sex. So I'll have fun writing this. Here we go lol.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

It depends on who's he with. If it was just a one-night stand he won't attempt to be comforting or try to care about the other party. The most He'll do is clean himself and nothing more. If he had a "significant other" that's a different story. He would cuddle the hell out of you. I imagine him as a clingy person (Which I hate). Once he's finished he just wants to fall asleep with you under his arms. He finds it relaxing to have your back against his chest. Especially when it's soft.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

The back. I do not know why but I have the feeling that he would like a person's back. Especially if the person has slightly defined back muscles. Something about a person's back seems so vulnerable to Hisoka that he leans towards it whenever he’s behind someone he finds attractive. It's part of the reason why he likes to be behind people. Because he feels it's the most vulnerable place and he won't hesitate to take advantage of it when it comes to his enemies. Seriously don’t have this man around women with shirts that expose the backside. Or bikinis. He will not stop staring. Now I think about it I think he’ll like a virgin sweater.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

Hisoka will eat it/swallow it. He's no stranger when it comes to being nude in his abode. So him being in his natural self, he won't hesitate to taste his own or his partner's bodily fluid. (Not pee you weirdos).

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hisoka is a secretive man. It's literally what his name means. When asked direct questions he'll find a way to dodge them without seeming suspicious. And he's a liar. But when it comes to the bedroom. It's another side of him. He's not so secretive about it. It's just no one asks him about it and so he never felt the need to mention it. But when he did he will say it all. This man has done very risque things in his life. He once fucked a girl in an office building right after he killed her boss. There’s was a huge gathering of people including the girl's boyfriend. And he did it in one of those rooms where there's a glass that's see-through on one side and the other is not. Which the boyfriend happened to be there. You can guess which side he did it on. In the end, that girl was left with the time of life of her life and the loss of her partner and her job.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Extremely experienced. I'm sorry I'm a firm believer that Hisoka got laid many times by various women and men. If he's so strategic and calculated in fighting people then it's no surprise that he has skills in the bedroom. Plus he needs the release. I can't imagine how bored and frustrated he is when he can't kill anyone or there are no strong opponents. So it's understandable that he looks for partners to ease his stress. If there's nobody available at the moment. Then he will do what any man would do. Le master debate.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Again this one depends on who's he with. If he just with one of his late-night booty calls he would do the normal doggy style. If he's with someone he's heavily interested in. He will do all sorts of positions. His favorite position is where he can always see your face. Because one he wants to know if he's doing a good job. Two. He likes to watch your face morph into different facial expressions as he touches you in different ways.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He can be hella silly sometimes. If he's having sex with you for a while he will feel comfortable being playful. Of course, he can be serious if he needs to. But that rarely ever happens. The only times he would get serious if he was actively trying to get you pregnant for whatever reason. Which is not an issue. He uses bungee gum. It contains rubber and gum. Free condoms everyone. (Lol)

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Oh hell yeah the carpet matched the drapes! You were surprised that it was the same hair color as his hair. You were so in disbelief that you considered that he just dyed it. Which was not the case. Let's just say Hisoka likes to keep things short. Normally you would find it to be shaved. Yet, sometimes he'll leave some hair to grow. A little hair never really bothered him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

*sigh* This one depends. Ima skip this one because Hisoka is not romantic. Just kidding. Because I think he would be good in the bedroom, I think he CAN be a romantic partner. Romantic how? I don’t know he can be that’s all there’s to it. (Talk about laziness)

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it more often than the average person. Like I said in my (E = Experience) Hisoka would do it if there’s nobody available at the moment. What I didn’t say is where and when he would do it. He’ll do it anywhere. This man has no shame. He will do it in a church, public bathroom, or hospital bed. Inside or out. It did not matter to him. Unless if it was raining. That would be his own little rule but he breaks it all the time. For some reason, many opportunities for sex happened to be on rainy days. When? He’ll do it even when he has a mission to do with Illumi. If he’s in the middle of a job and He's in horni mode. He’ll find a way to release without anyone knowing. He could do it right in front of a person without them knowing. Sometimes he just stands there with an orgasmic face on. The only way he’s able to masturbate in public is because he is using bungee gum. I know for a fact he’s use’s this ability in his sexual encounters with people especially for himself. This man could just stand there and you wouldn’t know if he was just being weird or he’s just doing it again.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

KINK SHAMING IS HIS KINK! I’m just kidding. Without a doubt, Hisoka would have one or two kinks. Bondage. Bondage. Bondage. As boring and well known this kink is. It makes sense at least to me it does. Hisoka bungee gum ability can grab, stick or even trap a person. So he finds pleasure in watching his partner's skin be wrapped in his bungee gum. He has so much control over it. How tight it can be. How rubbery or gummy it can be depending on the situation.Another thing I’d like to say. Hisoka is A SADIST AND MASOCHIST. He likes giving and receiving pain. That’s just how it is.

L = Location (Favorite places to do they do)

Anywhere that has a good spot to fuck you against something. Any surface that he can place you on. But if he were to have a “favorite place” it would be in places that are morally wrong to do or somewhere exciting like a carnival/circus. Hisoka hasn’t set limits to himself so usually, it's his partner that sets the boundaries.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If he sees you in revealing clothing (Especially if your back is completely exposed) his wood is rising. You could just be lying on your stomach on the couch, scrolling on the phone. If you’re wearing a bra or nothing on and Hisoka happens to be there. There’s no doubt he'll find ways to lay his hands on you. It's not just the back that could turn him on. THIGHS AND HAMSTRINGS will have the man going. In particular, he likes it when it's Thicc/meaty. My man likes dem Thicc thighs. (Lol)

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

This one is only one of my most important headcanons ever. And I won’t accept anything other than this. Rape/Noncon. Hisoka does not find any joy in forcing himself on his partners. It’s not fun for him if his partner isn’t enjoying it either. The biggest turn-off for him would have to be anything related to bodily wastes like pee or poo.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh, he likes receiving it more than giving it. But that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy giving his significant other pleasure too. I would say his skill level is pretty good. Let’s just say when he does it, it's more than enough to please his partner. When he receives it expect lots of hair pulling and heavy groans.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fuck! It depends on his mood. Normally he likes to do it slow and sensual. But on a bad day, he does it rough and fast. A Good example of this was after Chrollo told him he can not use nen. Hisoka kept his emotions to himself. The only face he allowed himself to show was his normal displeased face. But inside he’s pissed. Once he leaves the troupe he heads back to his partner's place and sleeps with them. At least he released his frustration without killing anyone. (Omg Imagine fucking Hisoka was the leading cause of people still alive) Other than that he just aggressively masturbates.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

*Deep inhaling* Hisoka IS THE KING OF QUICKIES. He’s a master at it. While he’s patient for riping fruits he rarely has patience for sexual activities. He's on the go constantly. If he finds someone that catches his eye he’ll go after them. So a nice quickie is great and all but it doesn’t entirely satisfy him. Because it doesn’t satisfy him overall, a proper well spent “shagging” (This will be the first and last time I’ll ever write “Shagging”) He’s happy. Just happy that he can give his all. Which he can not do often.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Absolutely! Hisoka has his life on gamble all the time. Whether it may be life-threatening or a simple card game. Risking taking is his character. Even if it's too crazy. He’ll do it anyway. He's an exhibitionist for sure. He’ll let people watch as long no one touches his partner.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

To my knowledge. IRL men need a break after sex. In the show, Hisoka was able to clear the hunter's exam easily. So we know Hisoka has a lot of endurance than the average human. He’s stronger and faster. So that means Hisoka will not get tired after one round of sex. I think he can go at least 10 rounds. Of course, Hisoka would get tired at some point. He’s still human. Hisoka just has a lot of stamina. And that’s a fact.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Yall are probably gonna hate me for this but Hisoka doesn’t own toys. If his partner wants it during their time together, he will not hesitate to get it/use it. He doesn’t feel the need to use it since he’s very confident in his ability to please his partner without the use of toys. For himself? if wants something inside him then he’ll just look for a guy that’s decent for his standards. But that doesn’t stop him from using a dildo/vibrator for himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Hisoka is a sadistic devil. He can be cruel sometimes. One time he had this girl close to climax and he stopped in the middle of it. Or He would cause arousal to his partner and pretend it was all an accident. He’s a huge teaser. He likes to watch his partner be in ecstasy and switch to fits of anger.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s a fucking whale. (LMAO) He’s the reason why kids know what moans sound like. He’s hella vocal in his private moments. He so loud that almost every troupe member recognizes his moans every time they hear them. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be quiet. Contrary to popular belief, Hisoka can be dead silent when he needs to be. He can be quiet as a mouse. Even quieter than the mouse. Now, what does he sound like? Well, we all heard his moans his fights. But I think it's different. I think his moans in fights are different while masturbating/sex. Just a slight difference. His moans would be more intense and he's a heavy breather. His tone of moans is a bit feminine with a tint of masculinity. He has the best of both worlds.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He likes to have pictures of you. Like a lot. He has a private gallery full of pictures of you on his phone. That’s why this time he actually takes care of his phone. He’s prone to get his phone destroyed in his missions. So he’s much careful with it now. These pictures can range from cute photos of you and him together to butt naked pics of you not looking.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture, or words)

Now you horny Hisoka Simps think he has a 12-inch dick but I don’t think that’s the case. (I mean come on) I know there are Chinese HxH fans who took the time to measure his length by looking at manga panels. Based on what I found. Hisoka is 5 inches long (aroused) and 6 inch Inches long (aroused). To make him above “Average”. He is 6 inches long (aroused) and 7 inches Inches long (aroused). Beyond that I don’t know how a female or male have can have a size like that fit in them. Or maybe I’m not educated enough on this topic. I don’t know and I don’t care.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Very High. A lot of people who write Hisoka smut fics tend to make him a horny bastard. For me, I think that is the case. But my reasons are different. As I said in my E = Experience. Hisoka would look for partners to ease his stress. His obsession with finding/fighting strong opponents takes a toll on his mental and physical state. So once he can't think of another outlet for his tremendous amounts of energy, he'll use it to please himself with different partners.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

I'm going to say that depends on the person. If he only did 2-3 rounds of sex with an average person he's not going to fall asleep easily. Eventually, he will. Due to being bored and little tiredness. If he were to do it with a skilled nen user like Machi. He would get tired a lot more.

Oh woah that took forever to write! Let me just say it again this is purely my own headcanons. The questions are not mine only my answers. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

#hisoka x machi #machi x hisoka #hisokansfw #nsfwheadcanons #hisoka headcanons #hisokansfwheadcanons

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woosansang · 3 years ago

Note

hohoo I want to hear some unpopular opinions from you 👀

Oh god okay let me think. Obviously im just gonna talk abt ateez i hope everyone knows that AKSKSJSHS. I'm sort of worried that anything I say could be seen as hating on the members lmao but ah well yall know I love them to pieces but they're not flawless so let me just say a couple of things that I think a lot of ppl might disagree with bc that's what sofi wants to hear :D

San sometimes goes too hard on stage. Honestly like until a month or so ago, fireworks era San was just okay to me, I wasn't nearly as into him as I am now and even now sometimes I'm watching a fancam and I'm like... dude please calm down. I've really grown to love how he performs fireworks more recently but yeah, there are moments when I just roll my eyes a little because he's over-dancing and the comments are going crazy abt him being the best dancer ever. Performer as a whole? Unmatched. Pure dancer? No. Since I'm talking abt fireworks specifically, I think Seonghwa and Yunho execute the choreo the best. Seonghwa gets the "I'm possessed by a demon" vibe down much better than San in fireworks performances, and Yunho's dancing is always clean and precise and never over the top.

You said opinions so here's another one. I don't like Eternal Sunshine as a song. As a whole performance, it's adorable (although half the time I was very confused abt what the stylists were thinking with some of those costumes). But I frequently skip the song on shuffle because it's really really not my kind of vibe. I like rock music lol and alternative punk pop and metal, not boppy happy pop music. It's also way too autotuned for my tastes in the recording. Watching live stages is a whole different story, I'm just talking about the studio recording here.

Anyway nobody better get the wrong idea here. I fucking love San and I'm very clearly obsessed with fireworks!San at the moment, and I adore watching them perform etsun. Don't come for me 🔪🔪🔪

Sleepover time! Send me things and ask me questions!

#thank u for sending me something and sorry i wrote a whole essay lol #it was just nice to have something concrete to focus on #asked #jazzy has opinions #soppa #sofi��🐱

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lost-in-the-80s · 4 years ago

Text

You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 8

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,969k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In this chapter: Is Paris really the city of love? Y/N and Duff are about to find out.

A/N: This chapter is pure fluff! There is a line in French, but the translation is below in italics. The high school story is true btw, I was the one who stayed sleeping lol

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @vinylvintage @metalupyourash add yourself to my tag list :)

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A week passed after that morning, nothing very exciting happened in Y/N's life. Guns n Roses did two successful shows in Scotland and soon after they got on the bus towards France.

They got there very early in the morning, after a long rainy night. Drops still dripped from the leaves of the trees and the asphalt had taken on a darker shade of gray, while the sun fought for space between the clouds that covered the sky.

Open-mouthed, Y/N admired the city through the bus window, her dream had always been to meet Paris, unaware of Duff's gaze fixed on her expressions, making a smile appear on the blonde's lips.

"I can't believe we're in Paris!" She exclaimed, her eyes shining with joy.

"Me neither," Slash said smiling, the realization that his band was touring Europe was still going on, and he couldn't be more proud.

"I always dreamed of coming here, but I never thought it would come true." She smiled, turning to the boys, her back facing the window.

“Well, we have the day off. You can enjoy doing what you've always wanted to do here! ” Izzy said, he was sitting next to her.

“I'm going shopping! Then I want to have coffee in one of those bistros that we see in the movies.”

"It looks like you already have a plan then." Izzy smiled slightly at her.

"Is there room for one more in this plan?" Duff asked. He was sitting across from her, smoking a cigarette.

"Sure! We can go out right after breakfast if you agree. ”

"It's fine with me!"

---

After a tasty breakfast, the two of them met in the hotel lobby. Duff in a leather jacket and black jeans while she wore a red sweater with jeans and black high boots.

Walking side by side, they followed the receptionist's recommendations, walking just a few streets before reaching downtown.

Entering a busier street, several people came and went along the sidewalk, making it difficult for them to move.

In a quick, almost unconscious movement, Duff took her hand, guiding the way through people until they reached a quieter street.

As soon as his skin touched hers, she lost herself, her legs still moved in rhythm with his, but her mind moved as fast as a hummingbird's wings.

His fingertips were dry and callused against the thin, smooth skin of her hand. Her fingers were so small compared to his that they almost disappeared during the gesture.

However, Duff didn't realize what he had done until they arrived at a peaceful avenue full of shops. He felt her hand tightly holding his and a small smile appeared on his lips. For a few seconds, he feared she would let go of his hand, after all his help was no longer needed, but she didn't.

In fact, she only let go of his hand when they entered the first store, needing both hands to feel the fabric of a sweater and go through the hangers.

They visited many stores and although Duff thought he would be bored to go shopping, he ended up having fun. Not because he liked to stand beside her while she went from hanger to hanger, or because he liked to carry the bags for her, but because he was with her.

Every time she left the dressing room asking for his opinion, he couldn't contain the small smile that formed on his lips.

Leaving what appeared to be the thousandth store, she suddenly stopped in front of a window. Its glasses had frosted glass details and clothes in shades of black and brown were exposed.

"What's it?" He asked worriedly.

"It's Chanel." She said with a sigh.

She looked at him and saw his brows furrowed. "It's my favorite griff."

"Let's go in then!" He said, pulling her hand into the store.

The floor was light marble and the walls were white, there were adorned pilasters in the corners and the ceiling was very high, decorated with a large crystal chandelier.

Passing slowly on the hangers, Y/N touched each fabric subtly, feeling the material against her skin and smiling without believing that she was in Paris, personally looking at the fine clothes that inspired her so much to study fashion.

"Bonjour je peux vous aider?" A middle-aged saleswoman wearing a bun approached with a friendly smile.

"Good morning, can I help you?"

"What?" Duff asked.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were tourists." She smiled gently. "Do you need any help?"

"I'm just looking around, I studied fashion in college, I always wanted to see your store in person." Y/N smiled.

“You have a degree in fashion! That's great!" The saleswoman raised her eyebrows in admiration.

"Yes. Chanel has always been my favorite griff, it influenced me a lot to choose the fashion college. ”

“In this case, come with me to the second floor. We have beautiful dresses from the latest collection there, you will love them.”

The saleswoman guided them up an arched staircase with marble steps and black handrails to the second floor where the dressing rooms were and a session full of dresses and party clothes.

“This one is one of Karl's favorites, do you notice the ruby details on the collar? They're from Australia.”

"It's beautiful!" Y/N responded, lightly touching the white dress that the saleswoman was showing her.

Passing the countless hangers, Y/N lifted her hand to her mouth when she saw a red dress, full of small sparkling stones. The dress was the most beautiful she had ever seen.

“Ah, this is Louise. It is inspired by Italy. ” The saleswoman approached explaining. "These little stones are quartz, they fit a lot, don't they?"

“Yes, they really do. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen in my life.”

"Try it," Duff said, drawing the attention of the two women.

“Yes, you should try it, dear! I'll see if we have one in your size, I'll be back in an instant. ” She smiled leaving the two of them in the room.

Putting the hanger back in place, Y/N turned to Duff. He smiled in her direction and she almost forgot what she was going to say.

"Duff, you know I can't afford a dress like that."

Before he could answer the saleswoman returned.

"I think this one will look perfect on you." She went into one of the changing rooms, hanging up her dress and turning on the lights for her.

Reluctantly, Y/N entered the dressing room, changing her clothes for the dress. The saleswoman offered to help her with the zipper, entering the dressing room and closing it quickly.

"Wow, it looks beautiful on you, dear!" She exclaimed.

She wasn't lying, the dress was really beautiful on her, fitting so perfectly that someone could think it was made especially for her.

"You need to show it to your boyfriend!"

"Oh no, he isn't-" Before she could finish the woman opened the door, stepping out of the way so Duff could see her.

"Wow." He sighed. "You look beautiful!"

She felt her cheeks flush as she murmured a "thank you".

“You should take it, dear! It looks great on you. ”

"Oh no, I can’t affo-"

"Here." Duff took the wallet out of his jacket pocket, offering the saleswoman a card. "Use this card please."

Smiling, she took the card and went down the stairs.

"Duff, you don't have to pay for the dress for me!" She crossed her arms, she didn't like to depend on others.

"I don't need to, but I want to."

"But Duff."

"Y/N, the dress looks beautiful on you, it would be a mistake not to take it."

She stopped for a moment looking him in the eye. "Fine." She said subtly before entering the fitting room to remove the piece with the help of the saleswoman who had already returned.

---

"What do you want to do now?" Duff asked when they left the store.

“How about we go get something to eat? I'm starving."

"Finally you talked about food, I was almost eating one of my fingers," Duff said laughing, looking at his fingers with a weird expression.

Arriving at a bistro, they chose a table on the sidewalk of the establishment, so that they could admire a little more of the city while eating.

"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" Y/N said when she finished eating.

"Yes, very beautiful," Duff said, filling his mouth with what was left of his croissant, making her laugh slightly.

"What do you want to do afterward?" She asked.

"I don't know, we could go to that park." Duff pointed to a park directly in front of the bistro.

"Good idea!" She smiled

"I'm going to pay, then we go, okay?"

“No, no, no! I’m paying." She stated, looking for her wallet in the bag.

"Why do I get the impression that you are going to buy me coffees until you match the value of the dress?"

"Because that’s exactly what I am going to do." Getting up, she walked quickly into the bistro.

---

The park was extensive, its trails were made with small white cemented stones and the trees around it seemed to be very old, although they had lost all their leaves during the winter.

They walked for almost an hour, admiring small art exhibitions and talking about long stories from the past.

The temperature started to drop and the sun started to set over the horizon, bringing a purple-gray color to the city.

Y/N had her arms crossed in front of her, trying to keep her warm, while Duff rubbed one hand against the other in hopes of warming his cold fingers.

“My class was super excited, their dream was to go to that exhibition, while my best friend and I were just going to miss two days of school” She was telling him the story about her trip in her senior year of high school.

"We spent the whole morning in a park and while everyone went to take pictures, she and I stole two scooters for hire and we kept walking around the same block of the park all morning."

"What? You stole a scooter!? ” Duff said laughing. "I never thought you were like this, Y/N!"

"What could I do? We were bored! .... And in the afternoon it got even worse! We spent an hour and a half visiting the exhibition, after that we got tired and realized that we had 5 more hours free, but nothing was interesting to do. We sat in a less busy area and I read while she slept.” She laughed at the memory.

"So you didn't enjoy the trip at all?" He asked laughing.

"Nope."

"My God." He laughed. "And where is this friend of yours?"

“She lives in Norway now. We speak in letters every month, but we haven't seen each other in years. ”

"It’s a shame." He stopped in front of a fountain. "Maybe it’d be possible to visit her after the tour."

"Maybe." She smiled slightly.

"Three days is not enough time here, there is so much I wanted to see." She sighed.

He didn't answer, and she turned to face him, he was looking at her, his eyes full of a glow that she had seen before, but she couldn't identify.

"What's it?" She said softly, putting a lock behind her ear.

He took a step closer to her, their bodies mere inches apart.

"I want to kiss you..." He said in a low tone, licking his lips, as he leaned slightly towards her.

"But I'm only going to do it if you want to." His hand touched her face, his cold fingers making a shiver grow on Y/N.

His lips were so close to hers, she could feel his hot breath against her skin.

She froze, her heart raced and she couldn't formulate words so she just nodded slowly.

Closing the distance between them, Duff pressed his lips gently against hers, moving away after a few seconds.

She opened her eyes and saw his gaze fixed on hers. He still kept his hand on her face, waiting for some kind of reaction.

Gathering all the courage she had, she stood on her tiptoes and pulled him closer by his jacket, smashing her lips against his and enveloping him in a hot, passionate kiss.

One of Duff's hands found her waist, bringing her even closer.

His tongue asked for permission to invade her mouth and after getting it, their tongues danced in synchronized ballet, as if they had already rehearsed hundreds of times.

"You don't know how long I waited to do this." He whispered when they pulled apart.

---

The way back to the hotel was quieter, the night had reached the city and the cold wind was blowing against them through the streets of Paris.

Duff had his arm around her shoulders the entire way, while she hugged his waist.

Arriving at the hotel, they walked slowly through the corridors, so slowly that Y/N could have counted all the chandeliers on the walls.

They had all the time in the world and weren't ready to say goodbye yet, but the number 25 appeared, it was her room.

"We’re here." She said calmly, looking into the blonde's eyes as she came out of his embrace.

"See you tomorrow?" He took her hand, intertwining their fingers.

"You know you will, Duff." She leaned against the door, lifting her chin to keep her gaze fixed on his.

A light laugh left his lips as he remembered that fateful night in Scotland.

"What?"

"I had a dèjá vu" He smiled, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"What do you mean?

"That night in Scotland."

She frowned.

"Don't you remember?"

She shook her head slowly. "No."

He laughed again. "You were standing just like this." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Asking me to kiss you." A smug smile appeared on his lips.

"Oh my god!" She closed her eyes, wishing it had just been his imagination.

"It would have been an interesting proposition if you weren't so drunk."

"I'm not drunk today, am I?" She bit her lower lip, smiling.

A smirk appeared on Duff's lips as he leaned down to kiss her again.

"Good night, Y/N," Duff said as he backed away.

"Good night, Duff."

He leaned down kissing her forehead for a few seconds before slowly letting go of her fingers and heading towards his room.

---

The next morning Y/N woke up with the biggest smile, she still didn't know what was going on between Duff and her, but she was happy.

Entering the hotel's restaurant, fear took a hold of her heart. She didn't know if Duff had told the rest about them, and the last thing she wanted was for them to be making jokes, like that night when they slept together.

The first thing she saw was Duff, he looked up from his plate, looking her straight in the eyes, almost as if he had felt her presence before he even saw her.

He gave her a small smile as he followed her every move.

Taking a cup of coffee and a slice of pie, she sat between Steven and Slash at the table.

"Woke up late today, Y/N," Axl said. "Did you come back too late yesterday?"

"Not really, I arrived around seven."

"We passed at your room around six, we were going to a restaurant, but you weren't there," Steven said.

"Ah, it’s okay, I ordered room service." She smiled slightly.

"What made you wake up so late then? You are usually the first to arrive." Axl insisted on the topic.

"It took me a while to get to sleep last night."

"Insomnia?"

She looked at Duff, seeing him smile slightly. "Something like that."

---

The afternoon soon arrived and Y/N left her room to go to the soundcheck with the boys.

Looking across the hall she saw Duff, propped up against his door.

"You’re beautiful today." He whispered as he approached her, leaning over to steal a small kiss.

"Thanks." The compliment had made butterflies rise in her stomach.

A door opening made Duff take two steps back.

"Were you waiting for me?" Steven asked, smiling as everyone walked towards the elevator.

"Uh-huh." She said quickly.

Arriving at the lobby, Y/N was stopped by Izzy.

"Y/N, I need you to do something for me."

"Sure, what’s it?"

"Erin will be arriving at the airport in about an hour, I need you to pick her up and go with her somewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't take her to the soundcheck."

"Why?" She frowned.

"Axl does not concentrate when she is there, we have to do everything twice ... Go with her to a beauty salon or whatever."

"Fine..." She answered slowly.

"Here, take the band’s card." He handed over the card before heading towards the bus.

"Ah!" He turned around. "Here... for the taxi!" He handed her 50 euros, finally leaving the hotel.

In the distance, she could see Duff looking at her without understanding what had happened.

She shrugged, offering a small wave before Izzy pushed him into the bus and closed the door.

---

The day was starting to get boring. Erin's flight was delayed by almost an hour and all she could think was that instead of being with Duff, she would have to spend the rest of the afternoon with her.

Not that she could complain much, Erin was a nice girl, kind of an airhead, but a great company to have fun with.

But she would rather be watching Duff playing his bass while wearing his Cowboy hat.

Her flight finally arrived, and Y/N moved to the line of people waiting for passengers, holding a papal with Erin written with pink lipstick.

A thin scream filled the airport when Erin identified Y/N, making people around look at them.

She took a few leaps until she reached Y/N, wrapping her in a hug.

"Hi, Erin!" She said hugging her back.

"I missed you!" She smiled.

"I missed you, too, Erin!"

"I was upset that you never called me when you were on vacation." She pouted, making Y/N give a nasal laugh.

"Sorry, I was very busy."

"I forgive you, but only if you promise to call me next time!"

"I promise, Erin."

"Let’s go then? I'm missing my little redhead." She started walking.

Y/N took a deep breath not to laugh at the nickname. "The plans have changed, we only go to the arena when the gig’s about to start."

"What do you mean?" She stopped, turning to the other woman.

"Izzy told us to have a girls' day. I thought we could use a massage."

"Izzy said that?" She frowned.

Y/N nodded in agreement.

"That's weird."

"Weird or not, I have the band's card." She held up the card, showing it to the girl.

"In that case, let's go! A full massage can take more than an hour!" She started walking quickly, making Y/N quicken her pace.

---

After nearly an hour and a half at a massage parlor, Y/N and Erin went to a coffee shop, ordering cake and hot chocolate.

The place was small and cozy, the walls were painted in shades of cream and the chairs had flowery green cushions.

Taking a table by the window, they started talking.

"Has Axl given you a lot of trouble?" Erin asked.

"No, he's been calmer these days. The biggest problems are Izzy and Steven."

Erin looked her in the eye, encouraging her to continue.

"Izzy is a pain in the ass when he's high, and Steven doesn't even know where he is when he uses it, I have to act like his mother."

"That sucks! Good thing Ax doesn't have any problems like that. But I think it's just because they're on tour, as soon as it's over they'll get better."

"I hope so," Y/N said smiling. "And how are things between you and Axl?"

Erin stopped with the cup halfway, not knowing whether to speak or not.

"Things with him are ... complicated…. He can be romantic and kind when he wants to, but most days he ends up taking his anger out on me."

"What do you mean?"

"We fight a lot, but I love him, and I know he loves me, so eventually we will get better." She gave a small smile before bringing a piece of the cake to her mouth.

Y/N nodded as she sipped her hot chocolate, deciding not to dwell on it.

"And how’s Duff going?" Erin smirked.

Y/N's eyes widened. "What about Duff?"

"The last time I was here he was hopelessly in love with you. Axl said he spent all day talking about how beautiful you are."

A smile appeared on Y/N's lips.

"Don't tell me he hasn't made a move yet?"

"He actually did." Her smile got bigger.

Erin propped both elbows on the table, looking intently at the girl in front of her, curious to know more.

"He kissed me yesterday."

Erin shrieked, smiling at the news.

"The boys must have gone crazy!"

"They don't know yet."

"Why not?"

"Because even I don't know what we are yet. Besides, I work for them, I don't want to say anything before I'm sure it's serious"

"Yeah, it makes sense. Do you want me to be quiet about it then?"

"Please."

"Relax, my lips are glued together!" She said laughing.

---

Arriving at the arena, Y/N walked calmly through the countless corridors next to Erin, while listening to her chatter about the Christmas party at her father's house.

She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw red hair entering a room.

"Axl!" She screamed, running towards the door when he stuck his head out.

She threw herself into his arms as he hugged her tightly, mumbling how much he missed her.

Y/N smiled at the scene when she was pulled by the arm into a room.

The light was off and the only illumination present was the reflection of one of the stage spotlights that reflected through the window.

Adjusting her eyes to the brightness, she could see the figure of Duff in front of her, covering her with his height.

"I missed you." He said before pressing his lips against hers.

His hands found her waist, pulling her closer as her hands went up to his hair, tangled in its strands.

Their tongues danced together as he guided them until she leaned against cold material.

Using one hand to feel the surface, she realized it was a table. They should be in a dressing room.

Y/N sat on the table, increasing her height in a few inches, making Duff's job easier.

She tangled her legs around his waist, bringing him closer, while he lowered his hands to her ass, squeezing her flesh tightly, making a small moan leave her lips.

Starting to apply kisses to her neck, Duff was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Duff!" It was Slash.

"What!?" He pulled away from her neck, shouting towards the door.

"We have to go on stage, we’re already late!"

"Shit," Duff murmured. "I'm on my way!" He shouted for the door.

"I think I'm going to have to leave you alone now." He smiled, stealing another kiss from her. "Come and see the gig."

"I'll be there in a minute, I promise." She smiled at him, kissing his lips one last time before he walked out the door.

Alone in the dark, Y/N sighed, her fingers went to her lips and a smile appeared on them.

"Well, I think I can get used to it." She murmured.

#harley writes #you don't want my love #duff mckagan #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan fic #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan x reader #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fic #guns n roses x reader #gnr #gnr imagine #classic rock #classic rock imagine

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years ago

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For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash

if you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Note: sorry, shinee loving anon! I kinda cheated and based your Tatemae - Taemin request on 4 O’Clock! that wasn’t the intention when I started the drabble, but it kinda just went in that direction. Will I ever write about Taemin outside of this universe? stay tuned to find out lol

based on this list of prompts. please feel free to send a request!

tatemae // 建前 (japanese, n.) - what a person pretends to believe; the behavior and opinions one must display to satisfy society’s demandsv.

Soulmates are not real; they are only figments of dreams, and the problem with dreams come true is that you always wake up or the dream becomes a nightmare.

Love is never pure; and if it ever is, it's only pure for a second or two before devolving into a selfish craving— a desire to own and strip and steal and devour.

Nothing lasts forever; connections with others— especially the heart-fluttering kind, the hand-holding kind, the lip-locking kind, the living by the light of the moon kind— are only temporary.

Taemin never wants to believe that. He never would have considered any of those statements had they not been drawn by the hand he holds in dreams. Although he knows that she is wiser and more articulate than he could ever be, he can't quite resign himself to her beliefs, probably because he knows they were formed in the darkness of fear or under public scrutiny.

"You're wrong," he wants to tell her every time he sees her, especially when they find each other in the rose garden under the moon's careful watch. "Soulmates are real, and you are mine. Love is pure when it is true, and I truly love you. Some things last forever— like my love for you, like my willingness to find you, like my willingness to wait for you."

And he does tell her all of this and more over time. He does not tell her all at once, mostly because he struggles to find his voice on that night in the garden. By her tears, his tongue is tied, and his heart is topped, and his breath is stolen, and all he knows—

All he knows is that he cannot restrain himself for another moment.

Taemin pulls her close and holds her head against his chest, where she can feel the steady beat of his heart that beats for her. He waits patiently until the sobs finish racking through her body.

And as terrible as this is— watching her release every pain through tears— he knows that this moment marks a necessary chapter in their story. This moment turns a page. As terrible as this is, it isn't nearly as painful as the moment she lifts her head and slinks to her side of the bench.

There it is again: the distance between what could be, what should be, what is destined to be, and what is. There it is again: the quietly screaming fear that maybe, this time, life will not abide by the book she wrote. There it is again: the desperate urge to beg in a whisper the wind would probably carry far away, "Come back. Lean on me. Let's rush the hands of time. Let's close our eyes and wake up in the part of our story where we have surrendered to who we were born to be to each other instead of who strangers see when they see our picture. Please."

Of course, Taemin says no such thing. The urgency of his pleas pales to his calling to remind her of who she is— one of the brightest people in the world— in case nobody else has ever held up a mirror for her.

It is never hard to say what she needs to hear, what she deserves to hear. If ever he feels heavy with the weight of all he cannot yet say, he reminds himself that the burden is not his alone. One day, she will wake up and feel it too— the weight of all that could have and should have been sooner, if she could just let go of those beliefs formed in the darkness of fear.

And his role, Taemin believes, is to make the weight manageable by releasing them through his words, one by one: his beliefs formed in the light of their days spent together in the pages of her book.

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taetaespeaches · 4 years ago

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favorite albums of twenty-twenty:

I’m indecisive, so disclaimer lol. But I wanted to be self-indulgent for a moment and share my very favorite albums of 2020. In a year where I felt both alone and lonely, music was massively important to me. I tried to limit this to my top ten but I’m too indecisive and a lot of amazing music came out this year so there’s eighteen albums lol. Why not. So yeah, enjoy or ignore, I just had the urge to do this. (This isn’t in order except BE, D-2, Maria, and Map of the Soul: 7 are all definitely in the top five.)

Also, if you see this and want to do your own, tag me! I’d love to see your top albums <3

↬ BE — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Telepathy, Blue & Grey, Fly To My Room, Disease, Life Goes On

I mean come on. This was the pandemic album we all needed and I will forever be grateful for this masterpiece. I think this is an album that will grow with me and will kind of act as a companion throughout my life. The musicality, the lyrics, the variety, all of it, it’s just perfection. It feels like a friend who gives you comfort but also makes you confront your emotions, and that was everything I needed this year. I will forever be obsessed with this one. BE is my friend.

↬ D-2 — Agust D

⟶ Top Tracks: People, Moonlight, Daechwita, What do you think?, Dear my friend

Agust D came back and he fucking owned it. The amount of pure talent and passion in this mixtape is un-fucking-real. Yoongi is just unbelievably talented and this album perfectly displays that. Plus, these songs have been my ride or die since May, like, there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t listen to this album in full at least once. Just incredible.

↬ María — Hwasa

⟶ Top Tracks: LMM, Maria, Intro: Nobody Else, WHY, I’m bad too

This album is so connected to my fucking soul. I swear, Ahn Hyejin and I’s emotions are so similar and the way we process them is soooo similar, this album just honestly means the world to me. Plus, it’s amazing. Every song is a masterpiece. Obsessed. Much like D-2, I listen to this album at least once a week. And the number of times I have cried listening to it is unreal. Intro: Nobody Else is very much how I felt this year and LMM has made me cry more times than I care to admit. This album makes me feel what I’m feeling, gives me comfort, and helps me pick myself back up again. Another one that will grow with me. This year through the loneliness and in times that I felt I had no one, this was my companion.

↬ MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Black Swan, Interlude : Shadow, My Time, ON, Friends, Moon, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal, Outro : Ego

Come onnnnnn. Perfection!!!! Quite literally the album that has been there with me through every step of this pandemic. I still cry watching the Ego mv. Why? No clue, just makes me sob tears of happiness. Black Swan? Possibly one of my very favorite songs EVER. OF ALL TIME. My Time? Relatable as fuck. Friends? The cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Moon? I’m sobbing again, that’s my emotional support Seokjinnie. Just, the album is a goddamn masterpiece, I don’t care who disagrees, my opinion is fact on this one.

↬ love is not dying — Jeremy Zucker

⟶ Top tracks: full stop, oh, mexico, hell or flying, lakehouse

Jeremy is another one that I just feel emotionally related too. Like I just get what he says and means and it hits me right in the heart and mind and gut. Another companion album. I think full stop is one of the most relatable songs I’ve ever heard- lyrically and the way it builds and becomes a bit chaotic… like whoah. I feel that in my chest. Also, oh, mexico is another song I related to so hard this year. This album has just made a massive impact on me and I love it.

↬ folklore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: seven, peace, the lakes, the 1

So Taylor surprised everyone with an album. What the fuck, ma’am? This is my second favorite Taylor album to date, second to only her second surprise album of the year. Like what? I’ve cried listening to this album and absolutely sobbed listening to seven. She just really popped off with this one and I don’t think I need to explain to you all why this album is so good. If you’ve heard it, you know.

↬ evermore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: ivy, cowboy like me, long story short, coney island, gold rush

Oh here we have another surprise album, and now my favorite album by Taylor. I think this album perfectly displays Taylor’s insane lyricism better than any of her works. This album just hit really different for me, every song was my favorite on first listen and I still have the hardest time picking favorite tracks. It’s just beautiful and it’s great and I love it a lot.

↬ SAWAYAMA — Rina Sawayama

⟶ Top tracks: Fuck This World (Interlude), Tokyo Love Hotel, Bad Friend, Comme Des Garçons (Like The Boys)

Have you heard it? If so, you know why it’s on this list. Pop perfection. Rina is a goddess. That’s that. It’s just amazing. Rina is a visionary and this album displays that perfectly. Comme Des Garçons was the first song of hers I ever heard and I was immediately obsessed. Next level, this woman. A queen.

↬ Petals For Armor — Hayley Williams

⟶ Top tracks: Crystal Clear, Why We Ever, Over Yet

Wow. Just, bless Hayley for this. Crystal Clear has quickly become one of my very favorite songs ever and Why We Ever is a little too relatable. And I distinctly remember hearing Over Yet for the first time in May and feeling joy for the first time since the pandemic started. This album is one to listen to when you’re mad, sad, when you need comfort, or when you’re ready to heal. Honestly, another companion.

↬ Nectar — Joji

⟶ Top tracks: Like You Do, Your Man, Sanctuary, MODUS, Run, Mr. Hollywood

I could honestly list nearly every song on this as a top song. Holy shit. Joji is another visionary. He’s insane and I’m obsessed with this album. I swear, every time I listen a new song jumps out as a favorite. Like You Do is a song that just means so much to me. A masterpiece. This album is my go to when I’m looking to get into my feels. Also Daylight isn’t listed in the top tracks but what a fucking bop. I’m just in love with this album. For real, obsessed.

↬ Plastic Hearts — Miley Cyrus

⟶ Top tracks: Angels Like You, High, WTF Do I Know, Midnight Sky, Never Be Me, Plastic Hearts

I’ve never been like an avid listener of Miley, just a few tracks, but this year I got more into her. And this album, goddamn. Every song is a contender for top track. How does that happen? Midnight Sky? Huge for me this year. Like I cannot tell you how massive of an impact this song made on me. Angels Like You is such a perfect song. High is a little too relatable. Just seriously, wow. Kind of speechless, I just adore this album.

↬ Positions — Ariana Grande

⟶ Top tracks: pov, obvious, 34+35

The way I cried my first time hearing pov. Ari what are you doing to me? That song is just such a beautiful way to look at love and this whole album is just so healing. A happy spot on this whole year. 34+35 is a thot anthem and I’m obsessed. This album is just another example of Ariana’s talent and we were all blessed to be able to hear it.

↬ CALM — 5 Seconds of Summer

⟶ Top tracks: Wildflower, Lover of Mine, Best Years, Teeth, High

I don’t care if y’all think it’s cool to like 5sos or not, this album is so fucking good. It far exceeded my expectations. Some of these songs are some of my favorites for the year. Wildflower is a fucking happy pill and Best Years makes me fucking cry. High is too relatable, and Teeth may as well have been written about me. And Lover of Mine perfectly relates to the most important relationship of my entire life. I’m gonna say it, Luke Hemmings is such an underappreciated lyricist. The man is good. I love this album a lot.

↬ Manic — Halsey

⟶ Top tracks: Finally // beautiful stranger, SUGA’s Interlude, Forever … (is a long time), 3am

I never really listen to Halsey so it took me a long time to give this album a try and wow I’m so glad I finally did. It became an instant fav. Honesty, anything Yoongi touches is a favorite for me so obviously that song would be in my tops, but Forever … (is a long time) is so relatable and just so fucking good. And Finally // beautiful stranger is honestly my favorite Halsey song ever. It’s stunning. This album is amazing. Period.

↬ Future Nostalgia — Dua Lipa

⟶ Top tracks: Pretty Please, Cool, Don’t Start Now

This album is just disco pop perfection and I’ve been obsessed all year. It’s the perfect album to listen to when you just wanna fucking dance and forget about all the shit that 2020 gave us. The perfect escape and it’s so so fun and the songs are just bops. I’ve probably listened to this album a hundred times because it’s just the perfect escape. If I wanna let go for a bit, this is my go to.

↬ Punisher — Phoebe Bridgers

⟶ Top tracks: I Know The End, Chinese Satellite, Garden Song

This album makes me feel some shit. Like holy hell we are in our feels. Phoebe’s songwriting is superb and these songs just hit. I honestly only listen to this album when I really need to get in touch with myself because it literally doesn’t allow me to avoid my feelings. But it’s pretty much perfection and I think it’s going to grow with me throughout the years. I just love it. I remember being blown away on my first listen, it’s just unbelievably good.

↬ Ungodly Hour — Chloe and Halle

⟶ Top tracks: Tipsy, Baby girl, Ungodly Hour

I don’t even know how to explain how good this album is. Like, have you heard it? You get it. These girls went the fuck off and all we can do is thank them for it. Thank you for your service ladies. This album is just a vibe from start to finish. And Ungodly Hour is one of the best title tracks of the year. That’s just that on that. Give them all the awards.

↬ IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? — DPR LIVE

⟶ Top tracks: OH GIRL, NO RESCUE NEEDED, KISS ME

This album isn’t just an album, it’s an experience. This man takes you on a musical journey. It’s a story. It’s flawless. I adore it. DPR LIVE is so underrated and I can’t wait for him to get the hype he deserves. This was the most surprising find this year and I’m so thankful I found it. Just so god. From start to finish, you just get sucked in and then it ends and you’re just left like, whoah. Amazing.

#ayyyy i can't sleep so i thought i'd post this since it's been in my drafts for a couple days #bc why not i guess #bullshitting with liv #you could say music was a lifeline more than usual this year #thankful to all the amazing artists who put out music this year #we all needed it #top albums of 2020

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joonietonin · 5 years ago

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Ethan Ramsey- Sugar & Ice (Analysis #2)

Hi! I’m back with another in-depth analysis about Chapter 5 and well, I am very very late! Sorry, it took me so long to write this up, I had been sick these past few days. Anyway, something that I am always in awe of, is how well-written a character, Ethan Ramsey is? I do not think there is another character/LI who has even come close to the amount of depth and progression that Ethan has had over the last few chapters and of course, throughout Book 1. So here I am analyzing Ethan all over again because, damn, this man has had the best character development in the Choices universe. Hold on tight because this is gonna be a longgggggg ride. (Literally, it's the longest post I have ever written so far!)

Note: This is an analysis based on my thoughts and interpretation of a character owned by Pixelberry Studios. My MC is female, pronouns: she/her. I will be writing this post from her perspective. If your MC is male or non-binary, I request you to change the pronouns accordingly. I will be working towards bettering my writing skills using they/them pronouns. English is not my primary language, kindly pardon my mistakes.

Taglist: @choicesyouplayandmore @freeasafishinthesea @openheart12 @junehiratas @lion-ess24 @junggoku @silverlitskies @paulfwesley @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @reaverisabitch @binny1985 @binny1985 @desmaranj @lilyvalentine @soft-for-drake @mangoruby @mrsmatsuo

Let's start off how interesting it is that the first time I wrote about this man, it took me 13 chapters to really assess his depth and development and now in Book 2, it barely took 2 Chapters to provide a in-depth analysis. Yes, character development is key but the time span within which one grows is equally important.

• Ethan, then and now: Ethan, with his hardass, no bullshit and stoic persona is a man with strong opinions. And rightfully so, a person who is around 8-9 years your senior is bound to have more experience- be it in their professional field or their general life experiences. Ethan has always had this strong set of beliefs that were impossible to change, unless you were MC of course. Before Ethan even knew what was happening, MC had already started to infiltrate his steel walls going right towards his heart. MC may be a dumbass but she’s not illogical. I believe that her straightforwardness has always been the reason for Ethan to be drawn towards her. Throughout his whole career, he has only seen these insipid, incompetent people sucking up to him expecting that they would step up in their career. Then came MC, who was never afraid to go against the rules if it meant the well-being of her patients. She proved to him that she was indeed the “someone who could be great, truly” as Ethan had told her in Chapter 5 of Book 1. Ethan supported her at all instances because he had so much of faith in her, even if he did not show it outright.

• MC, a silver lining: For MC, Edenbrook was never entirely about money. So when Ethan tells her about the government deciding to cut down costs of Edenbrook, depending upon your interaction, the last thing MC is worried about is money. Since then she has done everything in her power to prevent that from happening. When that didn’t work, she discovered another path that could potentially save the hospital.

• To be or not to be, morality edition: And even though she anticipated what Ethan would think about the idea, she still took her chances to let Ethan know about this opportunity that could probably put Edenbrook back in the top ranks. And obviously, the hardass Ethan refused. But what’s interesting here is how calmly Ethan reacted. He did not shout, he did not jeer at her. He responded calmly with a simple no. Even when a furious MC charged him for the reason to refute her idea, he simply said that it would ruin the actual purpose of the diagnostics team- which was never meant to cater the rich, rather help those who were truly in need. And even though his intentions were morally correct and heartfelt, MC knew that this wasn’t the time to play with a moral compass.

• Ethan, the "professional": So MC did what she always does: go beyond the rules. She did what Ethan had once told her- “to stand up for what’s right”. So she went behind Ethan’s back and contacted the Instagram celeb Gwyneth Paltrow Monroe and Ethan was obviously furious when he found the whole camera set up in the hospital. And what seems like forever, Ethan regards her as 'Rookie' but this time it is not endearing. MC tries to justify her actions but Ethan, in his classic Dr. Ramsey style, shuts her out and tells her that they had more pressing matters in their hands aka the patient. But, but.. he does not shut her out completely, he says “We’ll talk about this later.” Now if this were the old Ethan Ramsey he wouldn’t have bothered even once to hear anybody’s justification for a matter of fact. But now, Ethan wants to listen to her. He wants to work out their differences. He does not want to leave this matter hanging. He does not want to cut her off due to professional disagreements. Even though Ethan claims that there is nothing but professionalism between them but his actions contradict his words. His actions show that he is truly trying to make things work between them. Ethan might say it's purely professional but I do not believe him one bit (lol).

• Ethan Ramsey is really a softie huh: Even though Ethan is super annoyed at the entire situation, somewhere down the line, he does believe that MC can handle this. He tells her to lead the case. And of course, his snarky remarks are back but this time it's for poor Gwyneth. In an earlier analysis I had stated how Ethan's snarky remarks towards MC had lessened significantly and it still holds true. Instead of berating MC for going behind his back, he handles it with a certain amount of softness. Well, at least when we compare it to how he deals with others in the same situation. So what I really want to say is: Ethan Ramsey is a softie, but only for MC.

• Diligence- 1 Annoyance-0: He is very annoyed and is willing to solve this case as immediately as possible but that does not make him indifferent towards the case. His annoyance does not make him lack diligence. He still gives his 100% towards this case. This shows how diligent Ethan is. No wonder, he's the best diagnostician in the country. He treats all his patients with the same reverence even if some (read: most) get on his nerves. Ethan seems like a cold person with no emotions but the truth is that he cares so much about certain people. The biggest reason Ethan was so annoyed by this high profile case was because the diagnostics team lost a chance to cure a underprivileged patient who needed the help much more than Gwyneth. Despite being a filthy rich person himself, he is not a snob. He has so much concern for the people who cannot afford good healthcare. He cares deeply about the regular people of his community. Yet, that does not make his shy away from his duties towards his current patient.

• Just millennial things: Going back to my previous point, Ethan is really diligent towards his work even if it means doing things he absolutely loathes... like social media. I mean, yes he hasn't seen IT. Yes, he hates texting. Yes, he is technologically impaired. Yes, he does not know how to sign up for Instagram despite being one of the best doctors in the entire world who could cure almost anything. So who does he turn to? MC, obviously. Do we really think he'd ask anybody else in this entire world to help him out with social media. Oh hell no. (Yes, I'm trying to say that MC is special) And cue: the playful banter is back. Something I always relish about Ethan × MC scenes is that their playful banter never stops no matter how tense things are between them. It's some married couple shit right there. From "I'll have you know, I'm only 37. I'm technically a millennial" to "To be clear, we're doing this under one condition. You never speak of it to anyone", let's just say Ethan Ramsey does not share that comfort level with anybody else in this entire world than MC. MC is truly 'the one' for him.

• Ethan and the internet: So here's a two part horror story, the Ethan Ramsey edition- Ethan is terrified of the internet. He does not understand how there are shirtless pictures of him on the internet. Yet, it is really wholesome how we get to know the backstory of most of those pictures. Be it wearing a suit to the A.M.A where he was awarded or when he went shirtless for his first triathlon. It's very very cute that he willingly share these little details about his life. He wants MC to know little things about him. He wants her to be a part of his life even if he claims that there is nothing but professionalism between them (yeah, right) He opened up about how much he loved living in Providence and how he would never have liked any other place for growing up. He revealed his vulnerabilities to MC about how people did not take him seriously and how adults and teachers who undermine him. He trusts MC enough to confide in her and letting her know all these small details which, perhaps, nobody knows except her. Not even Naveen, I presume. Also, please note how a major part of all the information we know about Ethan is because of his Dad. But Ethan willingly sharing details about him to MC? chef's kiss

• Music, Motorcycles and Marriage: Initially Ethan does not understand the point of social media and why so many people would use this "junk". But when MC explains to him how social media helps people connect or how fun it could be for so many people, Ethan does not retort her. He takes and minute to think about her perspective and then accepts with her view. While choosing his interests, we get to know very fond and personal details about Ethan no matter which option we chose.

While talking about Music, Ethan mentions his childhood memories of playing the cello and how his neighbour hated it and broke his cello and also gives a hint towards his mischievous side and the incredible revenge he got on his neighbour.

The Motorcycle was absolutely beautiful. Ethan let's MC know that the first time he took a bike ride was in Brazil (Amazon Rainforest) where he had gone to... well, in layman's terms- get over MC. As eloquent as he is, he describes all the emotions he felt as he rode across his bike along the Amazon River. It's a rare occurrence to see Ethan talk about his feelings therefore it is really wholesome that he would share those intricate details with MC. But the best part of this option had to be when MC demands Ethan to take her on a bike ride in the Amazons some day. Now, for a man who claims that him and MC are "reset" and are "nothing but professionals", it's quite hilarious but very cute that he replied with, "I look forward to it" This statement of his is almost like a foreshadowing of his and MC's future. Even though they're in a tough spot right now, they could always look forward to the future where things might (read: will) change for them.

The option Marriage led to a low-key romantic moment between him and MC. Ethan "love is just neurochemical responses to heightened stress and frequent exposure to each other" Ramsey obviously tells her that he understands marriage as a partnership rather than a meaningful institution. He also states that he does not believe in the concept of soulmates because there is no biological basis to support that. MC simply explains to him that, "It's love, Ethan. It doesn't have to make sense." And Ethan, in his classic 'everything has a scientific explanation' way grins and states, "I'm sorry, no, everything has to make sense." He straight up asks MC the age old question: "How are you supposed to know that you've met the right person?" And almost immediately his smug mouth is shut when MC simply replies with a "I guess, you just feel it. Isn't that biology?" He gazes deeply into her eyes and forgets himself for a moment thinking about how relevant her words are to whatever he feels for her.Deep inside, Ethan knows that he has met the right person, rather THE person.What I'm trying to say is- Yes, Ethan knows that they are soulmates and even though he won’t accept it now but man, he is whipped.

• Ethan's first, last and only: It's adorable that Ethan let's MC make his first post on behalf of him. MC might be the only person in this entire world who has so much hold over Ethan. It is funny because Ethan is MC's boss in the streets but MC in Ethan's boss in the sheets when it comes to personal moments. I think the highlight of the scene was definitely when Ethan follows MC on Instagram. She jokes about it claiming,"Wow, what an honour, I'm humbled." but Ethan deadass let's her know,"You should be. My first, last and only Instagram friend." Again, I think it's a subtle foreshadowing of their future. In real life, technically MC truly one of Ethan's best friends besides being a LI. But I think this statement will hold much more meaning in the future, given the fact that somewhere deep inside Ethan does know that him and MC are soulmates, no matter how much he denies it.

• True feelings and acceptance: We all know Ethan is not the one to back down on his opinions. But often more than not, he really does give a thought about MC's actions and always tries to understand her perspective of it. Yes, it does take him some time to come around but he always comes back to her. When MC tries to justify her actions this second time, Ethan cuts her off- not because he does not want to hear it, but because he has finally understood her point of view.

Another very important detail in this scene, personally my favourite detail, is how this time around he addresses MC by her name. At the start of the chapter he addressed MC as 'Rookie' which symbolised his disappointment over what he feels is a mistake on MC's part. He establishes his seniority over her letting her know that him and MC are not equals. This second time around, he addresses her by name because he has finally come around to understand that MC is really not a 'rookie' anymore. She isn't a resident either. Ethan now saw her as a colleague, someone who was his equal.. his peer.

Ethan rarely accepts his mistakes, because let's be real, this man was practically emotionally inept before MC came around. The whole concept of apology and acceptance is complicated for him. But he is not worried to own up to his mistakes in front of MC. Ethan let's her know that they are bound to disagree over things because they were peers. Knowing her thoughts, even if they contradicted his, helped Ethan see MC in a truer light. When MC worries whether that light is a bad one, he is quick to reassure her that it is a 'complicated' one. This mirrors his feelings about their relationship too, how he can never be entirely professional with her neither could he ever give her the love and warmth he wants to. He tells MC that her perspective does help him to see situations as they really are instead of what he perceives them to be. He ends this declaration of his feelings with, "I want to know you, as you are." My heart goes warm thinking about how much he cares for her and how he'd rather have disagreements with her than force her to be something that she is not. He wants her be just the way she is. He wants to know the real MC, the one who does not shy away from doing what's right rather than doing what's moral and ethical.

• MC x Ethan, the unstoppable force: Lastly, can we all agree that MC and Ethan make a hell of a great team? Even if we put their love life aside, they just absolutely smash it out of the park when it comes to them solving cases together. As they sit together researching about their patient, we see how well coordinated they are. It's almost like, each one knows exactly what the other person is thinking. They are like medical Jedis. Ethan always worries about how if they were to pursue a real relationship, it would be hard for him to push her to do her best.. but the truth is right in front of us. Despite their playful banters, stolen glances, innocent touches and plans about their future, Ethan always pushes MC to evaluate the information and reveal the diagnosis. It would take Ethan 2 minutes to do it himself but as her mentor he constantly helps her get better at providing fast diagnosis. Also, Ethan never ever shies away from giving MC her due credit and appreciation. Getting praise from Ethan Ramsey is very very rare but for MC it's like a usual occurrence, not because they have feelings for each other rather because Ethan truly sees the amount of potential MC has and it reassures him that he was right when he chose MC for Edenbrook knowing that she had the potential to be someone great. While revealing the diagnosis with June and Baz, he proudly let's them know,"MC pieced it together last night. Excellent work." He is honestly like a proud husband showing off how amazing his wife is (lol)

____________________________________________

FINAL THOUGHTS: Sooooo.. let's re-evaluate:

✓ Ethan and MC are very very close on a personal level no matter how much Ethan tries to deny it.

✓ MC is literally Ethan's closest friend. He shares little details about him to her, only her.

✓ Ethan does not shut MC out like he did in Book 1. He tries to understand her and thinks about her point of view.

✓ Ethan and MC have continuous playful banter which makes them look like a whole ass married couple but whatever.

✓ Ethan considers MC to be his equal rather than a subordinate. That is HUGE coming from Mr. Broody Ramsey. He has a lot of respect for MC.

✓ Ethan pushes MC to do her very best despite of them being personal and contradicting their original deal of being professional.

✓ Ethan proudly let's others know about how amazing MC is at what she does.

So, what I am trying to say is: If they are equals, and they work together like two peas in a pod, and the have the cutest most playful relationship, and they respect each other so much, and they are fulfilling every aspect of their mentor/mentee relationship— SO WHEN THE FUCK ARE THEY GONNA REALIZE THAT THEY CAN STILL DO ALL OF THIS WHILE PURSUING A RELATIONSHIP. @ Ethan sweetie, you're one of the smartest men on the planet but you're really so dense when love is involved. I live for the angst but I just want to see my babies being officially domestic and have passionate sex like they did in Chapter 15 (no shit that was THE BEST, read x) yeah that's all, maybe even save the hospital and punch Declan again while they're at it. Ethan and MC are really have the most realistic depiction when it comes to work relationships. Whether Ethan believes it or not— I, for one, am certain that Ethan and MC are truly soulmates and are meant to be. Professionally AND Personally.

Why did I title this as Sugar and Ice?

Because just like ice Ethan is cold,harsh and stoic when it comes to dealing with regular people. But when it comes to people he really cares about and loves (read: MC) he is like sugar- warm, gentle and open.

____________________________________________

Not to be a cheesy romantic, I'm still a cynic but Ethan is an exception. Andddddd we're done. If you have reached up till here then wow, I cannot believe that you would actually take the time to read my thoughts about a character. You don't know how much that means to me. It makes me feel like I am creating some worthwhile. Thank you for all the constant love and support y'all have given me. I am truly so grateful to each one of you.❤️

Also, yes I know Chapter 6 is out and this is an analysis of Chapter 5 but believe me, I you've read this you'll figure out that nothing that happened in today's chapter contradicts my thoughts about Ethan in the previous chapter. I will start working on an analysis for Chapter 6 tonight itself. Just need some time to process all of it. Thank you for always being so patient. I appreciate it so much.❤️

This was a very long post and believe me I tried to cut it short as much as possible. Let's just say I really cannot write short pieces lmao. So yes, thank you for taking out your valuable time to read this. Sending my gratitude and love.❤️

[If you want to be added to my taglist, just let me know as I will be writing some more stuff in the days to come. All my works are sorted in my MASTERLIST. The link is in my bio.]

#open heart #ethan ramsey #playchoices #ethan x mc #open heart 2 #choices: open heart #dr ethan ramsey #mc x ethan #mc x ethan ramsey #bee's analysis

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trashballerina · 4 years ago

Text

Hetalia Fics I Really Like

this ⭐ will be for fics I really like. I’ll try not to star everything.

I’m starting with my favorite of all time and tbh I think the fandom should see this fic as a OG, like Auf Weiderstein Sweetheart or Gutters, I really do.

Are We Even Humans ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ (Literally all the stars)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103344

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660761/chapters/25048773 (prequel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036330/chapters/16007758 (sequel)

The war is over, but putting together everything that fell apart will be a greater challenge than anyone is prepared to handle. Alliances dissolve, and the lines between friends and enemies are blurrier than ever before.

Opinion: Please read it. It is a series with a sequel and a prequel that can be read on its own but it’s so good. Imma go on a quick rant here. This fic is great from the writing, plot, characters, and the nuances of nationhood abilities. I literally rioted during the first chapter because it was so good. One of my absolutely favorite things in the fic and the series as a whole is Prussia. Kingdom of Prussia, German Democratic Republic, Gilbert Beilschmidt. His character progression and seeing him through the series as a whole is astounding. I was literally left shaken at the end of this series and I’ve read it twice. The OC’s are usually the antagonists, but hot damn, they are memorable OC’s who are great (terrible?) villains. And the family dynamics! The family dynamics are enough of a reason to read it by itself and the romances. Omg I love this fic so much. Main takeaways: astounding characterization, amazing plot, will cry, long read, and a reality check on what it means to be a nation.

Would it be too much if I did a separate post on how much I love this series and an in depth analysis? (I feel like such a nerd omg)

Hard Times Passing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516458/chapters/56397817

Alfred is homeless during the Great Depression and in his wanderings he's charged with the task of caring for a small orphaned Taiwan. AU-Human names used, Taiwan is a child.

Opinion: So incredibly heart warming. It’s well written and I love the dialogue so much. Also, the little cameos from other characters are an absolute delight. It’s a it short, but so wholesome.

Flowers Don’t Grow on Battlefields ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153106/chapters/32619954

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898919/chapters/39697068 (sequel)

As war tightens its hold on the nations of the world, new alliances are formed. Nobody will escape the war unscathed. Italy only hopes that this time, he will find a way to save those he holds dearest.

Opinion: I realllly like this fic. Maybe I’m a bit bias because I remember reading it from like to third chapter and watching it get updated till the end, but this is really good. Cute gerita, great characterization, good plot, and some lines just really make me melt. And the fluff omg. There’s a sequel that’s linked under too that I may like more than the first.

Who Knew (One Shot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516695#main

“The last time the two of them had any sort of contact was when Gilbert sent the letter to Matthew before the first war started.

That was twenty-six years ago. Twenty-six years Matthew had not seen Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew worrying about if his fiancé was alive or not. Twenty-six years of Matthew thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew wishing he could just see Gilbert, even if it were just for a second. Twenty-six years of pure hell for Matthew. Twenty-six years of being all alone.”

Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, never thought that he would fall in love, but he did. He fell in love with Gilbert Beilschmidt, the personification of Prussia, but their romance would have to be cut short with the up coming war that was soon approaching them.

Opinion: My god my heart. Matthew had great characterization. Like amazingly so. 10/10 somber and melodic tones throughout the story. Good tension. And again, my heart.

TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741175/chapters/8294941#workskin

An account of the media reactions to the reveal of Nations (anthropomorphic national embodiments) with scholarly commentary.

Heavily inspired by: United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) [fallingvoices, radialarch] with mixed genres.

Opinion: It’s really cool. It’s told through media, like email, twitter, texts, online magazines, subtitles of videos (not actual videos tho). I love the outside view point of the world on nations and how some people really like them and how others absolutely despise their very existence. One of the main things that sticks out the me is the in depth analysis other humans or posters do on the nations and people even interview the nations, chapter eight is like my favorite for that reason, or how some humans just gush about the nations on so media like how half the fandom does lol. It’s really good. Super creative, great insight on how to world sees the nations, and honestly a great read.

Red Winter (One shot and crossover!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/909492

The Winter Soldier's new target: a Russian politician named Ivan Braginsky.

Things don't go as planned.

Opinion: Literally so cool. Like nations are total BS to outsiders, especially assassins. I was loosing it during this fic because from Bucky’s POV nations are something else. The writing is really solid and the author uses italics to highlight an action sound or word and even single-word thoughts. The fight scene is really entertaining but also it flows fantastically.

In Costa Rica (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614041

“You have this backwards,” McLaughlin said. “Everything. You have it all backwards.” He was a lithe man, looked to be in his mid-thirties. Schnabel leaned back in his chair. Outside, the afternoon rain started, and the frogs momentarily fell silent. “They are dangerous, aren’t they?” Two men discuss the nations and history.

Opinion: No actual nations appear in this fic. It’s just two men talking about the nations and it’s really interesting to see them humor and take seriously the idea of nations. They both discuss what they already know about the nations and theorize. Also hearing an outside perspective and how the nations effect the word around them is golden. I give this fic a big ol’ chef’s kiss.

Finally, I’ll Just Miss You! (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553608

Countries will be abolished tomorrow. For the first time, they breathe and realize this might be their last breath and they’ll never wake up again. They want to wake up, they want to go to sleep, the land will still be there when they’re gone. But they breathe, it won’t be the same- for once, they feel human.

Opinion: Bro, I swear I’m not crying. This one is short but really bittersweet and my heart really hurts. I like the snippets of insight on the characters.

Diamond in the Rough ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12872642/1/

The year is 1952, the last full year of Joseph Stalin's rule over the Soviet Union. After an incident with Latvia, Estonia is determined to find out what Russia did to him. And so unfolds a chain of events that would lead the Baltic States to tears, to forgiveness, to unexpected courage and horrifying discoveries about the mysterious past of Gilbert Beilschmidt. See AN for rating.

Opinion: This just be a legitimate book. I have honestly read this one like three time and every time I read it I am absolutely elated to discover another detail or action I missed. It is a longer read but I think it is absolutely worth it. For one, the characterization is beautiful. Maybe I might be bias because I stan and love the Baltics, but how they are written compared to the many other fics I’ve read on them is phenomenal. While the author does take some creative liberties and deviates from canon a little, like the Baltics actually considering themselves to be brothers, I really enjoy the changes. ALSO, the history and research and on this fic is genuinely impressive. To think fic authors do this shit for fun and pour so much of their passion into a piece of writing. Secondly, while Russia may be an antagonist in this story, I honestly think it is just. His mentality, backstory, and current predicament explain his behavior and make him a justifiable antagonist. I highly recommend this one.

Adieux (Oneshot)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6700886/1/

What happens to nations after they cease to exist? Do they simply disappear or do they get a second chance? It wasn't a subject Francis was particularly keen on finding out about...but at the same time, it wasn't something he could just ignore. One-shot

Opinion: I hate this fic because I love it way too much. I might of cried a little bit and I instantly melt of Francis and Matthew.

In Our Solemn Hour (incomplete) ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8975529/30/In-Our-Solemn-Hour

The time was World War II, at the dawn of a global conflict like nothing any of the Nations had ever seen before. Nothing could've prepared them for what lay ahead: a war more total and radical than anything they could ever have imagined. This wasn't just business as usual; it was centuries' worth of pent-up emotions all coming into play at once. This was indeed their darkest hour.

Opinion: Characterization is on point. One part of this fic I remember very well during a fight to the death, Finland mutters a little “Oh dear”. The characters retain some of the qualities that make them silly in Hetalia but because this is another take on it it does get darker. I think Germany’s portrayal is my favorite because he does cruel and unnesscary things and questions it because its not his usal nature. The author notes are super insightful and sometimes funny; it really adds to the rest of the story. I might revisit this post to make a more in depth opinion on it because I don’t remember it all to well when I know I really like this one.

So that was my post lol. I’ll probably make more on other fandoms later tbh or I’ll just make a part two. If you end up reading about any of these posts, please feel free to tell me about them! I love talking about fics and reading in general. Thanks for reading!

#hetalia #helltalia #fic reccomendations #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction #recs #help i really love fanfiction

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sokkathebluewolf · 4 years ago

Note

A review Why you do that? Making Sokka mention 28 in his vows now everyone think he slept around after the best time of his life? They both dont deserve this June slaves Hina Tylee now this Please don't make more girls fall for him involve with him feels like the whole fic turned around this Haru deserves better Tylee is flirting around

Don't get me wrong This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit I'm merely giving an opinion ''cause Gladiator has things which you handled the best There is a Reason for this success I just hope this plus 1 girl thing in Sokkla relationship Stops But I always respect you with your great work(:

You do realize how utterly laughable it is to tell me “DON’T MAKE MORE GIRLS FALL FOR HIM IT FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE FIC IS TURNING AROUND” and then say “you can do anything you feel fit, I respect your work (:”, right?

This is not respect. This is not “constructive criticism”. This is not an opinion so important and valuable that it warrants being repeated about a million times across A YEAR. Most people? They give out their opinions, negative or positive, ONE TIME, and leave it be, because what matters to them is CONVEYING how they feel, not forcing a writer to constantly explain themselves or write whatever they would be comfortable with. Actually? Most people who have given me negative opinions so far have been like that, except one guy who was outright flaming my story because he wanted to wank to it, and he couldn’t believe he had to read 97 chapters to finally reach the smut. That I’m comparing you to this reader and reviewer is PROBABLY a bad sign, don’t you think?

Sokka didn’t MENTION 28: Sokka acknowledged his past mistakes because he’s a grown man who knows to feel remorse when he hurts people he loves. That he brings up having hurt her, to this day, isn’t in the purpose of going “HEY HEY AZULA REMEMBER WHEN I BROKE YOUR HEART LOL”, it’s in the purpose of saying: “I’ve learned from my mistakes and, as it has been for YEARS, I will devote myself to NEVER hurting you again”. That, anon, is a PERFECTLY VALID SENTIMENT for a wedding vow, and one that requires far more character growth and complexity than “Lol I’m so happy we were both virgins because that is the only kind of pure love that has ever been valid in the universe, anything else doesn’t count”.

Hell, you’ve literally made me go right back to the chapter to look at what he says, exactly: “I messed things up between us over my damn stupidity”, he... is literally beating himself up about this. To this day. He’s not talking about it proudly. And yet you’re here complaining as though he were?

SPOILER: More people will have feelings for Sokka in future chapters. In fact, I want to make it even MORE people than I’d originally planned after receiving all these asks. I’d rather derail my story into something you can’t stomach reading than cater to you. Azula will outright JOKE about being “jealous” in a future chapter, and Sokka will know it’s a joke! :D And I’m NOT lying about this to mess with you, it IS going to happen and your persistent asks absolutely WON’T make me alter my content. And why is it going to happen, you’ll ask? Why, because nice, charming, charismatic guys like Sokka attract people whether they want to or not. It’s what they DO about attracting others what matters to me! :’) And that Sokka rejects other people who attempt to be with him should be, I think, a much more important message about loyalty to someone you love than “I ONLY EVER ATTRACTED ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE AND MARRIED THEM”. Because I know that’s virtually the only thing you appear willing to accept, going by the first ask.

And holy crap, Ty Lee is... flirting around? Flirting around... with Haru. The guy she’s in a committed relationship with, whom she’s going to marry. The whole situation is meant to be insanely ironic considering Ty Lee is with the guy she SHOULD be with but it looks like it’s something else? (Hell, nobody even KNOWS it was Ty Lee, Mei Xun didn’t stick around long enough to discover the woman’s identity, so her reputation’s actually safe?) But you’re just so emotionally compromised by anything regarding Sokka being with anyone else, even if it’s 1. not true because he’s MILES away, with Azula 2. a joke 3. a plot device for a FUTURE EVENT, that you just can’t grasp this irony at all?

Ty Lee, by design in this story, has ALWAYS been pretty damn liberal about flirting and relationships. Despite we’ve mainly just heard such relationships mentioned on the side, rather than witnessing them directly, she is objectively the cast member who’s had the most relationships, whether serious or casual or just occasional, with other people. And even then, she’s getting married. Even when she’s had so many people in her past, she’s settling down with Haru for good. And Haru? Haru is THRILLED. Because he loves her. Because she loves him. Because HER past does NOT have a single thing to do with THEIR future. And yet you seriously read these chapters, where Ty Lee is having a lot of fun with her fiancé, and your brain just translated this as “OMG TY LEE IS A SLUT HARU DESERVES BETTER!”? Seriously?

I feel like I’m getting asks from a childish version of Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything that isn’t straightforward needs to be explained point by point, apparently, and even then, you don’t get it. I literally went to literature school and was told to write intelligent fiction so readers would feel compelled to unravel its complexities themselves... apparently that was a big fat lie? :’) Your persistence actually has convinced me that it is.

Oh and, for future reference (because I KNOW you’ll come back, that’s all you ever do): not because you throw compliments at me later to “cushion” your complaint does it mean you’re respecting me and my story. You can’t slap someone in the face and then go “Oh your cheeks are so plump that I bet it doesn’t hurt”. You can’t just disregard my request that you keep these sorts of questions to my PERSONAL blog rather than the fic’s blog, and pretend you respect me. You can’t come to me time after time with the same complaints and attitude, watch how I’ve basically gone from initially responding with discomfort (because, in my personal blog, there are MANY asks that predate yours, where I’d already explained my reasoning to someone else who apparently didn’t get it, which means the subject wears me out, A LOT), then seeing that I started ignoring your asks, then seeing I closed the inbox so I could regain some sense of normalcy in my life that you refused to let me reclaim, and then seeing that I’m answering with outright hostility, and pretend that it’s ME who has a problem.

If someone I respected responded in any similar manner to ANYTHING I said to them, I’d basically feel like shit and never talk to them again because I don’t want to be a burden or a problem for someone whom I value in any way. You, apparently, would rather be a problem, and to no avail, because all you’re achieving so far is convincing me to continue writing things that will make you riot until you stop reading my story. If you CAN’T stop reading regardless of the horrifying, amoral, dreadful decisions I’ve made? Congratulations: you still don’t have the right to tell me what to do with my story. And until you GENUINELY understand that, your compliments don’t mean anything to me. I have readers I value who have conveyed complaints, MANY TIMES, in an actual respectful manner. Readers who are even bothered by the same thing you are. And yet I’m even FRIENDS with them. Imagine that :’) It’s almost like the problem isn’t having whatever opinion you do... but rather, the intent of IMPOSING your opinion constantly and persistently until you’ve driven me to lash out as bluntly and cruelly as I may! To the point I’m outright saying I’m going to rewrite my story into becoming EVERYTHING you don’t want it to be so you leave me alone!

And if you’re not the one who’s been here for a year, and this is not really an echo chamber (despite all of these messages have the same complaints, wording, tone, format, style, punctuation and grammar mistakes), yet you SAW that other people have been doing this for a long time, and thought it was PERFECTLY FINE to join the party? You’re no less of an asshole than the rest of them. No matter if it’s your first time voicing your “opinion”. Because it’s NOT about what you’re saying: it’s about HOW you’re saying it. It’s about trying to guilt trip me into writing whatever you want and claiming the story is going off the rails because something makes you personally uncomfortable. This is NOT objective criticism. This is SUBJECTIVE, ENTIRELY. This isn’t a real problem in storytelling, it’s a personal problem for you because it clashes with your moral values. And NO ONE is forcing you to continue consuming content that goes against your moral values, you’re choosing to do that yourself.

If you’re to live by any of the words you said in these two asks, make it “This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit”. Because that’s literally what I’m going to do. It’s what I’ve done over EVERY complaint in poor faith I’ve gotten, ranging from “quit writing so much happiness it’s boring” to “where’s the sex you prude”. And it’s what I intend to continue doing. What kind of criticism do I value? “This particular scene features a factually contradictory line with a previous event”, such as Zuko claiming he never went to Sokka’s house when he in fact did, and I plain and simple FORGOT about it. What more kinds of criticism do I value? “You need to work out the Gladiator League’s system better because it’s not a solid business venture”, and this one was right? And yet it was too late to fix it, despite it’s 100% spot-on and I should’ve worked it out way better than I did. Another? “Sokka may have gotten over the fact that Azula captured him and tossed him in a slave market too easily”, because? It’s a perfectly valid sentiment? I disagree because Sokka is canonically shown to get over grudges relatively quickly, and yet I CAN see why it seems too fast for some people. What else do I value? Maybe suggestions on wording problems! I’ve made a lot of stupid wording mistakes, in virtue of being a non-native speaker. I’ve done my best to amend those, but it’s a work in progress even now.

Point and case being: in literature, and thus, in fanfiction? Constructive criticism isn’t “WRITE WHAT I WANT TO READ BECAUSE I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH ALL I CONSUME”. Constructive criticism is given by people who KNOW storytelling. So I’d only consider it constructive criticism if it’s given by people who can read those chapters and see that the ENTIRE purpose of that conflict is to trigger growth and development as both Sokka and Azula realize their own mistakes and shortcomings with each other. So, someone who’s giving actual constructive criticism wouldn’t come to my inbox a million times with the same complaint... someone who’s giving constructive criticism would come to my inbox, ONE TIME, and say “Hey, maybe this alternative to conveying Azula is instinctively jealous over her canonical insecurities about being a monster and earning people’s love and loyalties COULD have been preferable, despite I know you can’t change that anymore as it’s fundamental for your story”, or “Hey, I thought of another way for Sokka to convey that he realized their interest in each other could result in something TERRIBLE if they ever acted on their feelings, a way for him to not act on that specific impulse to flirt with Suki to push away Azula, but to act on ANOTHER, believable, IC Sokka-compliant impulse that might still convey exactly what you needed to”. But again, even if it were complaints like THESE? I can’t change anything anymore. It’s TOO LATE. If I think it’s too late to fix Zuko saying “lol I never went to Sokka’s house” when it’s not true? It’s WAY TOO LATE to rewrite chapters that are over SEVEN years old, and I don’t even want to do it to begin with. But I WOULD concede these criticisms. I would accept them. I wouldn’t consider them offensive to me, or my work, or disrespectful in any way.

Constructive criticism is NOT about forcing an author to agree with you, or to do whatever you ask them to. Constructive criticism is about helping an author convey what they were conveying in a better, smoother way. If you CAN’T understand what the author was conveying? You don’t qualify for offering constructive criticism. If you need explanations as to why the author did anything they did? You’re, again, not qualified to offer constructive criticism. Your criticism, in any such cases, is NOT constructive, no matter what you’re telling yourself. This is a VERY important distinction, and one you can’t pretend isn’t valid just by throwing a bunch of compliments at me after telling me I’m ruining my story.

Until the day you DO understand the difference between constructive criticism, and subjective complaints? Your opinions will not be considered valuable enough to affect my story in a positive way. And the more disrespectful you show yourself, by continuing to disregard my DIRECT request for you to stop coming back with these complaints, as well as the direct request to stop sending these questions to this blog? The less your opinions will count for me. I don’t bend over backwards for anyone. And I’m definitely not going to do it for you.

#anon #ask #how long will it be this time #before you return?#I should hold a betting poll #I might actually become rich #that'd be the only silver lining for all the crap you've given me for a year

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allbeendonebefore · 4 years ago

Note

I was kind of under the impression that this is just a widespread thing in Alberta, especially because of the Angus Reid fractured federation survey (I cant include the link here, but you can Google it, its from January 24th 2019). When got back into Hetalia, I imagined the dynamics kinda changed to this, which would be pretty bad tbh. I hope its not that aggressive in Alberta, I will never be able to go check tho, too expensive :( I loved the bad french btw

i see you guys sending these asks super late at night and i wonder whether any of you sleep - idk where you’re writing from and i may be on the west coast but are you guys ok wherever you are? I just woke up but I have my tea and if I’m not caffeinated now I surely will be as I answer this.

I’m sure I’ve seen the survey you’re speaking of before and before I address it in any specific detail I just want to back up and re frame Why I’m Being Like This in regards to recent events and my orientation towards answering these questions in terms of Hetalia the way I do, because I think it’s the heart of how I answer.

the tldr of it is:

1. I have an opportunity to make interpretations of reality in unexpected and challenging ways, therefore widespread opinions don’t govern anything but my stupid gag comics in the simple sense that if everyone was represented by widespread opinion alone all the time, nothing would change and

2. if i can answer dozens of asks about ralph and oliver hanging out there’s absolutely no reason I can’t answer asks about ralph and jean hanging out, lol.

3. If you’d like a shorter, more concise “vision statement”, I have one on @battle-of-alberta here. (although now I notice the links don’t work on mobile so you’ll have to be on desktop for that one)

I’m assuming this will be long so cut time

(and yes, alas, the bad french is my legacy and I’m afraid it has not improved much although i swear i was an A student when i was actually taking it) (and no please don’t visit now, purely for pandemic reasons, it would be really expensive And you’d have a bad time) (and talking to me is free lmao) (I do not mean to say that you need to have feet on the ground to understand a place at all, i mean, at the moment I don’t lol)

headings because I say a lot

what even is hetalia

At the most basic level, Hetalia is a tool that can be used in a variety of ways. It can be for memorization, current politics at a glance or historical relationships in different settings. I use it for all of these things, of course, I certainly use it a lot in comics that take place in the much more distant past in @athensandspartaadventures. When I was writing that, I was in undergrad and AaSA was a tool to help me pass my exams, I didn’t think of how it might be read or interpreted by people who have lived in or experienced those places these days, or what kind of political and cultural tensions it might reveal. (Not to say that it has gotten me into sticky situations, exactly, but I am more aware of where things like that would arise now).

These days I look back on a lot of my experiences - both in IAMP/Hetalia and just as a person, and I think that if Hetalia is a tool it should be used with some awareness of intention and responsibility. Things in the fandom have changed as it became more mainstream and more well known and I think there’s a definite worry about screwing up or not representing Everything or not pleasing Everybody or not doing it Right. I have a simple, insufferably academic principle.

(That said, yes, you can still do it very wrong if you write a methodology.)

Still, it’s a comfort to me that I’m just doing the things the way I say I’m going to do them, and that is the underpinning of Inspired But Not Constrained By Hetalia. I don’t do things Himaruya’s way, I can’t do things the way IAMP would do them if it were running today because it’s not and things have changed, all I can do is do them how I would do them.

I have hurt people in the past because they sometimes couldn’t tell whether I was writing From an Albertan Perspective or not, and I’ve evoked some preeetty spicy comments over the last decade, and I realized that tone and perspective are something that really shapes how people understand and interact with my work and I’m trying to use that understanding in a conscientious way)

what even is alberta

So when you’re me and you’ve grown up in a province that is the Angriest in the country and the most Misunderstood in the country and the most Entitled in the country and nobody outside of maybe Saskatchewan has a good thing to say about you half the time and maybe you’re tired of that... you get kind of depressed thinking about how every year some kiddo comes on the internet ready to be excited about making or celebrating characters that represent themselves and No Matter Where They Go running into everyone else’s negative impressions first and foremost.

We joke about how everyone hates Toronto, though I’ve always understood it in a teasing way because I’ve never ACTUALLY met someone (outside of our current legislative assembly) who REALLY hates Toronto, but it does feel like I’ve encountered (directly or indirectly) people who do Genuinely hate Alberta and hoo boy is That a strange feeling. I mean, there’s an understanding that BC also ‘hates’ Alberta but half the people in BC are originally from Alberta so it’s a, uh, different feeling.

The story of Alberta from everywhere else is always the story of that Angus Reid article and the memes and comments and listicles that spin out around mainstream media. Alberta is giving too much. Alberta is getting too little. Alberta is too stupid to understand that equalization payments are a good thing actually, and Alberta is too dumb to understand you don’t really need EI if you make enough money in six months to own a house and multiple vehicles Just Because you own a house and multiple vehicles. Alberta is destroying the environment for everybody. Alberta has a huge concentration of white supremacists. Alberta is the Texas of Canada* and has the conservative streak and bible belt to match. Alberta should get annexed by the US. Oh, but Banff! We like Banff, though.

And like I said, politicians use these widespread feelings to stir up the sentiments of people who can’t afford to travel, people who are naturally suspicious of mainstream news, people who have barely even left their hometowns let alone the province and have no other means of validating what they hear, but people who’s emotions are genuinely tied to real feelings of alienation that really exist and HAVE existed for generations. And when the so-called “laurentian elites” in ontario and quebec make fun of them for being uneducated red necks, well, you hit a wasps nest and expected what, exactly?

what even am i doing

And like I’m faced with this question every day I decide to pick up my stylus and badger you all with unsolicited comics: do I want this to continue? Do I want to wear the mask that fits? Do I want to stand aside and say #notallalbertans #notlikeotheralbertans and stand over here on the island** patting myself on the back for not? being? there? Do I say yes, you’re right, and stand aside and watch loud mouth white supremacists co-opt wexiters and let them lead the perception of the province I grew up in just because that is what’s currently happening? Do I acknowledge the widespread sentiment and then pick apart every other province to say Well Actually You’re Equally Problematic Hypocrites, So There?

Obviously I’ve been saying no for a while. I’m perfectly happy to acknowledge the reality and when I draw stupid gag comics like this or this you can tell (hopefully) from my style that it’s tongue and cheek. When I draw less stupid not-gag comics like this or this I am trying to explore the Real Sentiments in a way that doesn’t completely polarize the issue and spin it out of control. I’m more of the opinion that even though Current Sentiments do get in the way that as personifications they 1. have some perspective and as people they 2. have some interest in not throwing out a friendship that was a struggle to build up every time the polls change or some new radical party seizes power. I do a lot of research and I want that to be reflected in my understanding of each characters deep seated beliefs and motivations, but I don’t want to let either the history or the current realities dictate the future if I am going to try to do that myself.

why even am i doing it for

So like really the heart of the matter is: I am writing what I write for my thirteen year old self. She was the me who moved back to Canada from the United States, who’s first introduction to living there was a hellish surge of nationalism after September 11th. Who’s defense against that was to hide behind a shield of Canada is Better, Actually and who returned to Alberta during the boom years to realize that, oh wait, the rest of the country thinks we’re assholes just like they think the United States is. Who spent her teenage years learning that, boom or bust, the widespread sentiment in and out of the province is just as narrow, shortsighted, self interested, and stubborn as her own fiction of What Canada Was Supposed to be Like. Who learned that propping up that image at the expense of her friendships was not worth it, that propping up that image at the expense of people who are suffering and dying under that image is not worth it. Who found herself rehashing the same sort of gut reaction defensiveness online because the Guilt and Apologizing on behalf of her province compared to others felt Really Heavy for a kid who didn’t have any clue what to do about it and was just there to have fun and learn some stuff.

So I’m writing for anyone else who finds themselves exhausted and saddened by coming online and seeing that the only way that people can imagine Alberta is as an antagonist. I’d like to challenge everyone to start to imagine it better. It’s my little “escape” from reality, and for me it’s much easier to talk to people here where the stakes aren’t as high and the grievances a little less personal.

I’m also writing (in a more secondary way) for everyone who’s ever looked at alberta from afar and wondered What is going On inside your Head and is it always This

(no comment at this time)

as always, I’m here to explain At The Very Least what goes on in My head because at the end of the day, that’s all I can do. And though there are some things that make me angry and emotional, I’m happy to explain why. Happy to answer asks or chat on discord or whatever, any time I have the time. :)

footnotes

*This is just a footnote to say something I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of my comments, but this is an annoyance that me and my Texas Tomodachi share lol

**You’ll notice angry Albertans online have a favourite tactic, and that’s pointing out hypocrisy. They can justify A N y T h I n G by calling another province a hypocrite “so there” (i.e. BC can’t claim to be environmentally conscious because of Victoria’s sewage problem or Site C) - and while I am interested in shattering the image of Alberta vs. the Perfect Rest of Canada a little bit, I feel like it’s a very lazy argument that is used to deflect and not to help. I think it is more useful to unpack the sentiment of Why Alberta Still Feels Taken Advantage of rather than mudslinging, and when the mud starts flying no one seems interested in addressing problems anymore.

#hapo rambles #hapo replies #hapo rants #yeah y yeah alberta #projectcanada #iammatthewian #pc: alberta #iamp: alberta #Anonymous #will i actually directly address the survey #maybe later but i have other stuff to do #you can remind me

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rainy4thmonth · 4 years ago

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Cherry magic - It's more than BL drama

Recently, i put my eyes into a fresh BL drama for Japan titled 30-san made doutei dato mahoutsukai ni narerurashi or if you virgin until 30 years old, it seems you'll become a wizard or known as Cherry maho (cherry magic). The title seems so long enough to forget it by its original name. You could get the information around almost all social media such as twitter or instagram. It's kinda trending somehow. Even in MyDramaList, they got more than 9.0 rating. The actor is not really new at japan entertainment. The protagonist is 30 years old a dull virgin, Kiyoshi Adachi who work as salary man, starred by Akaso eiji who well known in series Kamen rider build as Banjo Ryuuga. He start his career as a fashion model. The second lead is Kurosawa Yuichi, a perfect talent handsome man, colleague of Adachi who have crush on him, starred by Machida Keita, member of popular talent group, exile tribe. It seems that Machida already more popular before play this role. At first sight, they seems like another type of couple in romance drama, when the popular one meet an unpopular person then falling in love with each other, but before you judge it immediately, please watch for 3 episode rule, although maybe you could attracted to it only for first episode. I want to point out some of its good side. It maybe contain my self opinion, so maybe you have different opinion with me.

Warning: maybe contain spoiler

So what's make this drama so special? 1. The characters portray so well. Thanks to Director and Script Writer who make each Character more precious in drama. It's not like I say the manga version is bad, but i can tell that the Characters in drama are better. Adachi is an introvert character. The introvert trait here is not showed as hikikomori, or have anxiety disorder, but as a normal Introvert who still can work and speak to other people properly, although he's not good with large group of people (ep3). He have low self esteem but still he live based on his ideal. Being Salaryman is an usual job in Japan society, to manage to get this job, i think Adachi is not really fool. However, he often compare himself to someone else that make him have low self esteem. On other side, Kurosawa is an extrovert who looks perfect in other's eyes, not just because He's handsome, He also clever and easy going. To be top sales in the company, often surrounded by female co-worker, is normal things if others envy him. He also being gentleman around Adachi. However, nobody's perfect, bring those image everywhere is tiring to person like Kurosawa, because once he makes mistake, other people would bad-mouthing him. We also know somebody like him in real-life, right?. It makes Kurosawa hide problem for himself. However, He one day told Adachi about his heart problem (ep7) and surprisingly got unexpected respond. Adachi told that seeing his weakness is kinda refreshing. For the first time, He heard that 'it's okay being not okay' despite forcely being perfect all the times. Beside, Kurosawa is the character of seme who have really good self-control eventhough sometimes he have pervert mind (in manga He even more pervert, a closet pervert). We also got Fujisaki-san which also very different with manga version. In manga, Fujisaki is just merely hardcore fujoshi with wild imagination who ship Kurosawa x Adachi so hard and often have dirty mind of them. But in drama, Fujisaki is a friendly, cute and seems to be family-oriented woman whose the truth, She doesn't have any interest into romance. However, She wants Adachi happy with Kurosawa since She notice Kurosawa's feeling to Adachi. Tsuge is closest friend to Adachi. Tsuge is a bookworm novelist who likes cute creature such as cat (and minato LMAO). Tsuge gradually love Minato, the delivery man who recently often sent a package to him, after he got same power with Adachi. TBH, for the first time i feel second couple not as strong as main couple, but they're also got interesting story later. 2. The Actors and their acting. I like how they play their role and portray each character and bring this character live. We can see Akaso eiji and Machida keita have a good chemistry. Eventhough they didn't do intimate skinship, i can feel their feeling through their eyes. Even forehead kiss scene at episode 3 seems more romantic than kiss on lips. Akaso's awkward acting also seems natural and all his gesture create the super cute Adachi. Machida as Kurosawa is also gentle and handsome. His sight when see Adachi, I can see the pure love of Kurosawa to Adachi through his eyes. Surprisingly, Kurosawa who seems cool outside is cute and sometimes hilarious inside his mind (whether his imaginations or sudden poetry lol). Also their gesture and their inner voice match perfectly. 3. The story is not just about love between two guys. Maybe this drama cannot fullfills somebody's fetish who want bunch of skinship and intimate scene in every single episode on BL drama. If you are those kind of people, better not watch it or you'll miss every good point of its story. Ofcourse its main story is about homosexual difficulties, how Kurosawa have to hide his feeling toward Adachi and how Adachi should respond to Kurosawa's feeling because they both man, when it seems better as collage than as a lover. More that that, this drama also show a pure love with consent. Kurosawa always considers Adachi's feeling. He doesn't want Adachi to feel forced into relationship or being uncomfortable around him. It also tells about dream and goal, when Adachi feels nothing he want to reach in life but gradually change to find his goal (spoiler for next episode). It also tells about how someone's feeling can have impact to other's perspective. Because of Kurosawa's love, Adachi can grow up and move forward. Because of knowing that everyone have their own problem, Adachi can be more confident to help others. Also Tsuge who try to come out of his comfort-zone and reach Minato's heart. The never give-up Minato, the hardworking Rokkaku, and aromantic Fujisaki-san who likes her career. Every Character have their own story which are amazing. I rarely see BL drama that have those kind of value, very decent. 4. The comedy. Priceless expression and anime-like joke. If you don't similar with these kind of comedy, i don't know whether you can enjoy it or not, but i laugh very hard at some scene. Also the backsound of Kurosawa imagination always tickled me 😂. The mole scene, Tsuge and Adachi's hilarious headbanging, memeable face of Tsuge, Kurosawa's jealousy, etc. 5. Easter egg in each episode However i learn it after several rewatched. It tells that Kurosawa often pay attention to Adachi since episode 1, when Adachi enter the office then slipped his feet, Kurosawa suddenly stand up. It also means that Kurosawa research about Adachi ever since He had crush (7 years? 😳) That's why he's very confident when said "I know everythings about Adachi". Kurosawa already knows that adachi like sweet tamagoyaki, He already put his finger to take sugar (ep2) but he still asks Adachi to not look suspicious. In Kurosawa's imagination, Adachi wear white tshirt, that tshirt Adachi wear inside his shirt. He also imagine Adachi sleep at his personal bed 😳. Since Adachi caught by elevator door, Kurosawa hold the elevator door for Adachi (Ep 3-4). Adachi very love onigiri, there's onigiri's display on his desktop (ep6). I hope i'll find more next time 😂.

#Cherry magic #cherry maho #bl drama #bl series #japan BL #30-sai made doutei dato mahoutsukai ni narerurashii

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knoxhq · 4 years ago

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► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics.

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about.

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance.

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could.

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by.

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car.

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point.

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them.

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

#had:intro #bullying tw #police tw #arrest tw #incarceration tw #again i did nOT make him jj dont worry dfsahjfd #also this intro is bad pls do not look at me #alcohol mention

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