#these are nothing special but I'm trying to get more comfortable with showing my sketches I guess

[szyszkasosnowa]

Rhaenyra/ Nettles/ Jonquil Darke/ Laenor (with very vague Seasmoke)

Some sketches from Fire and Blood.

[kueble]

I Just Need You By My Side, Cause I'm Warmer in the Winter With You

Another very self-indulgent Christmas fic.

Teen. Warnings: Mentions of torture. 5,600 words.

Ghost/Soap

---

“Shouldn’t you be packing up?” Ghost asks him from where he leans against his doorway. Soap shrugs and sets down the pencil in his hand. He’s been sketching for about an hour now, trying to wind down at the end of a hectic day. Everyone on base is giddy at the thought of going home for the holidays, and the energy is almost overwhelming..

“Sorry, but you’ll have to get used to my ugly mug around here. I know you’re one of the only ones here most Christmases, but I don’t have anywhere else to be this year,” he explains, hoping years of interrogation techniques pay off and Ghost doesn’t call him on the lie. Though it’s partially true, since there’s nowhere he’d rather be then in the barracks with him.

“Don’t you usually have a big family celebration? Remember you rambling about nieces and nephews and being forced into midnight mass by your mother,” Ghost asks, eyes narrowing behind the black balaclava he’s chosen to wear today.

“Glad to know you actually listen to me when I shoot my mouth off,” he laughs out.

“Never miss a word, Johnny,” Ghost tells him evenly.

“So any other year, yeah I'd be home, but things are out of sorts this year with my sisters traveling to their husband’s families, and me Ma and Pa planned a little trip of their own,” he says. Sure, the little trip was right down the road to his brother’s house where everyone would be gathered like every other year, but no need for Ghost to know that.

Last year it was excruciating to leave Ghost on the tarmac, saying goodbyes as everyone else went home to their families. He doesn’t know much, but it’s clear Ghost no longer has anyone waiting for him back at home. They’d all joked about him haunting the base, probably maskless with the skeleton crew left behind and any other puns they could come up with. Still, there was a bleakness in Ghost’s eyes that he never wanted to see again.

Thankfully he’s never been able to hide his feelings from his parents, especially his mother, and she didn’t even bat an eye when he told her his plans. She’d said something cheesy about the magic of the season bringing them closer together, which he’d quickly scoffed off. He wasn’t doing this with any ulterior motives in place. It was a simple fact that his best friend shouldn’t be alone over the long holiday break they were lucky enough to get two years in a row.

If he happens to be completely ass over tits in love with him, he’s smart enough to keep it to himself.

“Guess it could be nice to have some company, even yours,” Ghost teases with a snort. Soap rolls his eyes, but he’s smirking still.

“Do you cook anything for it or rely on the mess hall for Christmas dinner?” he asks, already planning how to make things nicer for him. They may be stuck on a mostly empty base, but there’s no reason why he can’t make it as comfortable as possible.

“Sometimes I make a pot of soup for the week, but nothing special for the day itself. Tend to keep to myself,” he says softly. And that just won’t do.

“Happy to help sample anything you cook, but since I burn water, I’ll order us something nice from town. It shouldn’t be too late for a small catering order. You like lasagna?” he asks, already thinking of the perfect little Italian place near here.

“Wouldn’t say no to it, but there’s no need to get fancy over me,” Ghost mumbles. It only makes Soap more determined to bring a little Christmas magic into his life this year.

“I’ll take care of dinner and you just bring the good company,” he says to settle it. He’ll place an order first thing in the morning, already planning to buy way more food than they need. Ghost deserves to be spoiled, and leftovers are a rare commodity around here.

“Not sure I’ll contribute much in that regard, but yeah, I can show up,” he agrees.

“No one else I’d rather spend the day with. Honestly,” Soap admits, but Ghost just huffs at him.

“Piss off, Johnny,” he says with a laugh. Before he can figure out a response, the man is already gone. It may just be the hardest thing he’s ever done, but he’s damned sure going to make sure Ghost knows how much Soap likes being around him, especially now. Likes, not loves, because he has a feeling that’s something he’ll take to his grave. Being around him will just have to do for now.

—

The poster fell off the wall for the three thousandth time, and Soap barely managed to keep himself in check. Price would have his head if he blew up the base, but it’s getting more and more likely. It’s a stupid thing, really, just a fake Christmas tree by a fireplace, but he bought it to cheer up their rec room. He grumbles under his breath, reciting every swear he knows and probably inventing some new ones along the way.

“Problems, Sergeant?” Ghost asks from his spot on the couch. There’s a hint of laughter on the edges of his voice, and Soap spins around to glare at him.

“There is in fact,” he spits out before taking a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. No use in pissing off the man he’s trying to decorate for. “These walls are apparently covered in fifty some years of filth, and I can’t get the damn tape to stick. Seriously, it’s like teflon and I’m actually afraid to think about what could be coating this wall right now.”

“This that important to you?” Ghost asks, head tilted like he’s studying him.

“Aye,” Soap sighs out. “Just wanted to brighten up the room a bit. We can’t have a real tree, and I’ve been banned from open flames on base, but I thought this stupid fucking poster might work. Wanna sneak off base and burn it with me? Might raise my spirits.”

“How about I fix it instead,” Ghost says, standing up to stomp over to the wall.

“You’re more than welcome to try, but not even sure duct tape will hold the damn thing at this point,” he says, scowling at the wall. Seriously, he was going to beg Price to get the room deep cleaned as soon as he was back on base. Can’t be safe.

Ghost shrugs before bumping him out of the way with his hip. He holds the poster with one hand and reaches into the back of his jeans with the other. The knife he pulls out is on the small side, but it does the job when he stabs it through the poster and into the wall. Nodding proudly, he slides another knife out of his sleeve and buries it in the other top corner. The final blade is tucked in his boot, and he takes a few steps back before flinging it at the wall.

It lands perfectly in the bottom center of the poster, and Soap chubs up in his sweats at the display of skill.

“Guess that works, too,” he murmurs, actively avoiding Ghost’s gaze. No need to show off how fucking gone on him he is, and he knows there’s hearts in his eyes right now. He’s bound to be suspicious just based on how desperate Soap is to make things perfect, to give him a better Christmas than year past, and he should try better to keep his feelings hidden. Not looking to get his heart broken over the holidays.

“Anything for you, Johnny,” Ghost tells him as he strides back to the couch and picks up his book again. Soap can feel his cheeks heating up and blurts out some half-assed excuse before making a tactful retreat.

—

He debates waiting until morning, but Soap is too curious about the package in his hands to wait that long. His box of gifts from his family arrived today, but he didn’t bother unpacking it until after dinner. Everything was neatly labeled - or scribbled by his nieces and nephews - with his name except for one.

To Ghost, From Ma MacTavish. Open Immediately.

Not one to disobey his mother, Soap raps on Ghost’s door and hopes this isn’t something too embarrassing. Lord knows his entire family is annoying enough already over his little crush, and he doesn’t need his mother stepping in to help him. There’s a rustling from behind the door before it’s swung open by a brooding Ghost. Anyone else might not see how moody he is, but Soap can tell just by studying his eyes.

“What do ya need?” he asks, voice cracking from disuse.

“Got a special delivery for you and instructions for you to open it right away,” Soap informs him, holding up the package like the peace offering that it is. Ghost eyes it suspiciously but steps aside and lets him into the room. While he’d love a chance to look around, Soap keeps his focus on Ghost out of respect for his privacy. He knows just letting him into the room was a big step for the other man.

“Your mum sent this?” Ghost asks as he takes the parcel from him. Soap nods and smiles warmly as Ghost’s eyes widen. “Better not keep her waiting then,” Ghost mutters before sitting on the edge of his bed. The package looks huge, even in his large hands, and Soap really wonders what it could be.

He tears the paper at the seams, carefully working a finger down the edge of it. It’s gentle in a way that hints of Christmases past and perhaps being yelled at to keep the wrapping for next year. Soap’s grandma used to do that and iron out each crease to save money.

When Ghost finally removes the paper, soap breathes a sigh of relief at seeing the present isn’t anything to worry about. Trust his mother to try and take care of someone she’s never met. Ghost holds up the blanket, blinking slowly at it. Soap supposes he isn’t used to getting many gifts, especially not something handmade. The blanket itself is a mix of blank and white granny squares, no doubt crocheted with love by his mother. Everyone in their house has at least one of these piled at the foot of their bed, and his heart warms at the thought of Ghost having one on his.

“She made it?” he asks in a whisper, and Soap wants to cry about it. There’s no reason a gift should put him in such a state of awe, and he vows right then and there to spoil him as much as he’s allowed to under the guise of friendship.

“You’re looking at a Ma MacTavish special right there. Everyone in the family has one, and it looks like she thinks highly of you,” he confirms.

“Never even met me.”

“Well, I suppose I’ve entertained her with a tale of two of the man who saved my life so many times. Besides, how else do you think she’d know the perfect color scheme for an emo bastard like yourself,” He says in an attempt to lighten the mood. The corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkle up, and he knows there’s a smile beneath the mask.

“You’ll have to thank her for me. No, wait! I’ll get a thank you note together for the next time you send mail home. That alright?” he asks almost timidly, which isn’t an emotion Soap’s sure he’s ever shown before.

“She’ll love that. Sorry to barge in on you so late at night, but I’m glad I did. Should probably be heading to bed, though,” Johnny says with a pout. Dreams of being asked to stay, to tuck himself against Ghost under that very blanket flash through his mind and he has to get out of here quickly before he shows his hand.

“Me too. Night, Johnny,” Ghost says, and he understands it for the dismissal that it is. The last thing he sees as he ducks out the door is Ghost spreading the blanket across the top of his bed and smoothing it out. He’ll have to send his mother a thank you note as well.

—

There is absolutely no reason for them to be in Soap’s room instead of the rec room, but he wasn’t about to say no when Ghost suggested it. Currently they are sitting on his bed - which is way too small for two grown ass men - with their backs against the wall and his laptop propped on top of their thighs. Ghost is a constant warm presence at his side, and he’s pretty sure he would be completely lost if he hadn’t seen this movie so many times.

They each have a glass of their preferred poison in hand, and Ghost has his mask tucked up over his nose while he purses his lips at the screen in front of them. He is so fucking stunning with the light from the laptop highlighting the planes of his face, and Soap would be weak in the knees were he standing. Not that Soap is abusing his trust just to watch him more than the movie. Absolutely not. Still, the sight of Simon’s sharp jawline is a rare one and he can’t seem to stop staring. He longs to scrap his teeth over the scar that curves around it and has to hold himself back from scooting even closer to him.

“I don’t get it,” Ghost says, breaking him out of his dangerous thoughts.

“How so?” he asks, eyes already turned back to the screen to see what part of the movie they’ve reached. Nearly done at this point, but the silly plot has been a fun distraction. They don’t often get downtime, time totally free of responsibilities, and he hopes he can go without this once everything is back to normal.

“This just seems so improbable. His family forgot to bring him to the airport and they don’t have a single family friend they can call in the meantime? The police are actively searching for these two assholes and yet a child is the only one who manages to take them down? Gotta admit some of these traps are pretty awesome, though,” Ghost rambles out.

“One, I can’t believe you’ve made it this far in life without watching this. Two, this film is a masterpiece because it makes you suspend reality. Three, I’m pretty sure this is why I ended up in demolitions anyway. Do you know how many things I blew up after seeing this? I thought my Pa was going to murder me just as an example for my brothers and sisters. One time I rigged a frying pan to hit my brother in the face and it broke his fucking nose,” Soap says, unable to hold in his laughter. “Pretty sure he was about to pack me off and make me Nan deal with me, but my Ma couldn’t let her baby go.”

“You’re a real piece of work, Johnny,” Ghost tells him softly. He brings his glass up to his mouth, and Soap watches him swallow slowly, desperately trying to remind himself how they’re friends and nothing more. “Glad it brought you to me, though.”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, heart pounding in his chest.

But then they fall into an easy silence, and he’s forced to turn back to the movie. They both finish their drinks as the plot winds down, and he’s about to offer another when Ghost grabs his wrist to stop him from standing up. He looks down, worried that he’s overstepped somehow, and the tightness in Ghost’s clenched jaw startles him.

“We’ve had a good week, yeah?” Ghost asks quietly.

“Loved every second of it,” Soap blurts out before he can stop himself.

“Might not love this so much,” Ghost says with a sigh. “I’ve…I’ve never been this close with anyone, barely even shared this with Price, but I’d like to give you some sort of explanation for why I keep to myself at Christmas. If you’ll listen, that is.”

“Ghost, I will always be here, no matter what you want to tell me. Thank you for trusting me so much, but are you sure you want to do this while we’re drinking?” he has to ask, needs to be sure his friend won’t regret this come morning.

“You think I just keep bourbon and scotch on hand? That’s kinda the reason why I brought it with me. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now, but I needed a little courage to do it. Just, just don’t say anything until I’m done, ok? If you do I might not be able to finish,” he warns him, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Sensing how important this is, Soap sets both their glasses on his bedside table and closes the laptop. His desk lamp is on, so they’re not totally in the dark. He knows rumors of Ghost’s past, has heard a bunch of shit about his time in captivity, but every scrap of information is dear to him. He longs to know the man beside him better than he knows himself. He leans back against the wall and angles his body towards Ghost before saying, “Course. I got you.”

“When I was little, the only person I cared about was my mum. She kept me safe, kept my dad and brother away from me the best she could. I know now that my brother was only doing what he could to avoid my dad’s rage, but it still hurt back then. I won’t lie, I had a real shitty childhood and ran into the service as soon as I could. After that, things started improving. I came back home, kicked my sorry excuse for a father out of the house, and got my brother off of drugs. Hell, I stood beside him as he married the love of his life, and I wouldn’t give that up for anything, but the memories threaten to crush me sometimes.”

He trails off and palms the back of his head, chewing at his lower lip. Soap stays silent, unwilling to break his promise even though Ghost looked on the verge of falling apart. They sit there for a long moment while he regroups and continues his story. Soap longs to reach out, to offer some sort of physical comfort, but he knows better than to act on it. Simon doesn’t enjoy being touched on a good day, and he’d absolutely hate it while letting himself be this vulnerable.

“Things were going well until I got betrayed and snagged by Roba. Fuck, Johnny,” he breaks off, swallowing thickly before pressing his fingers to his mouth. “It was bad. I won’t go into details, but you can only be tortured for so long before you start to doubt yourself, start to go mad instead of trying to fight it. I have no fucking clue how I managed to survive after being left for dead, but I eventually made it back home.”

Ghost shifts his legs, twitching as he picks at the fabric of his sweats. He takes a few deep breaths and stares ahead at the wall, shoulders tense as he continues. “They died on Christmas, and it was all my fault. Roba still had his hooks in me, and couldn't let me go since I escaped with my life. One more betrayal led me back to my mum’s house that only hours before had been full of celebration and Christmas cheer. When I got there, the whole house was up in flames. The fire was so hot, but I had to save them. Only it was too late, because they were lying dead near the doorway. They even put a bullet through the forehead of my nephew. He was so small, so fragile, and I couldn’t even save him.”

He falls quiet, and it seems like he’s finished. Soap knew it was bad, but wasn’t expecting something so tragic. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just lays a hand on Ghost’s shoulder and squeeze it gently, deciding to risk the touch at this point. It seems to shatter something inside of him and he slumps over to lean on Soap’s shoulder.

“The men involved?” he asks quietly.

“Killed them all. Didn’t bring back my family, though. So yeah, Christmas fucking sucks, but at least I’m not alone this year. Didn’t know it would be easier with you here, but you always manage to help me stay calm. Should have expected it,” he says. His voice is tinged with exhaustion, and Soap knows he’s worn himself out.

“Thank you for trusting me with this. I, it’s, well it’s fucked up that you had to experience that. I know nothing I say can help make it much better, and I’m honestly not sure how you managed to get through it, but I’m grateful you did. I can’t imagine being here without you,” Soap says after a long moment. He knew Ghost has a shitty past, had heard about him digging himself out of his own grave, but this is a whole new level of horrible. If it happened to him, he can’t say he would still be here to talk about it.

“Price helped a lot. Pushed me through it and then kept me around,” Ghost says, turning to stare at the wall. Soap isn’t sure what he can offer at this point, but he has the feeling Ghost might not want to be alone after unloading all of this.

“Stay with me?” he asks, watching as Ghost’s shoulders rise up. He still isn’t looking at him, so he keeps talking. “I mean, you don’t have to, but I can’t imagine wanting to be by myself after such an intense conversation. Would feel bad if I let you go back to your room, really.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually sleep with the mask on,” Ghost says with a chuckle. And ok, he can work with that.

“So let me freshen up and get myself ready for bed. You can go after me, and I’ll just sleep on my side. I can keep my eyes shut, give you your privacy,” he suggests. Ghost finally turns to look at him, and there’s a telltale hint of red around his eyes. If Soap was still religious, he’d offer up a prayer that the other man agrees. He clearly needs comforting tonight.

“Yeah, ok,” Ghost mumbles. “Gonna change into my sleep stuff, though. I’ll get ready in my room and be back in a few.”

He practically leaps out of the bed, and Soap hopes he holds true to his word. He goes through his nightly routine on autopilot, not even aware of it until he’s crawling into his bed. He leaves the side of the covers up and turns onto his side to face the wall. It’s only just catching up to him that he invited Ghost into his bed, but tonight isn’t about him. He’d be offering the same closeness to Gaz if he shared something as horrific as Ghost just did.

If anything, this only proves how amazingly strong Ghost is. He had to reinvent himself twice, the second time with no one to support him. They’ve all seen and done some really horrendous things in the name of queen and country, but he can’t fathom coming home to find the burning bodies of his family at his feet.

He’s yanked out of his spiraling thoughts by the sound of the door opening and shutting. The clunk of Ghost setting down his boots seems impossibly loud in the silence, and he holds his breath waiting for Ghost to come to bed. He hears the muffled sound of Ghost removing his mask and setting it on the bedside table and fights the urge to turn around and look at his gorgeous face. He’s here as a friend tonight, and his feelings don’t matter right now.

The bed dips behind him, and the covers shift as Ghost settles in behind him. There’s an awkward few seconds where they both shuffle around trying to figure out how two large men can fit in such a small bed, but then Ghost sighs and rolls onto his side to frame Soap from behind. He slings an arm across Soap’s hips and presses his nose against the nape of Soap’s neck. The last thing he hears as he drifts off is a soft, “Thank you, Johnny.”

—

Unsurprisingly, Ghost is gone when he wakes up. The bed is still warm, though, so he knows he spent the whole night. He wishes he could have woken him up with a Merry Christmas, but understands his need for time to himself. Chris, last night had been a lot. Hopefully he can still provide a little holiday cheer tonight, but even if they eat in silence he’ll have a great time. Every second spent at Ghost’s side is a better gift than anything he could ever fine underneath the tree.

He spends the morning in the gym, working out his frustrations. Life wasn’t fair, but it has been exceedingly rotten towards Ghost. He knows there isn’t anything he can do to change his past, but he’ll damn sure be here for his future. It feels like they crossed a line last night, but he’s not sure which one. Nothing romantic happened, but he feels closer to Ghost than anyone before. He’s willing to bet Ghost hasn’t opened up this much to many people, probably just Price, and he’s ashamed at how giddy that makes him feel.

They might not ever be together, but they’ll always be solid.

After lunch and a long, self-indulgent shower it’s easy to keep himself busy by running through last minute preparations. They hadn’t said anything about exchanging gifts, but Soap kept finding the perfect things for him.He knows Ghost will love the aged bourbon, even though it hurt his Scottish heart to buy it. There’s also a new knife that came highly recommended by their armorer and a deck of cards with holographic skulls on them. Wrapping was never his strong suit, but he managed to slap some paper onto his gifts. Sure, it looked like they were wrapped by a small child, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

He just finishes heating up the catering he picked up the day before and is about to text Ghost to hurry up and join him when his phone goes off. It’s an incoming FaceTime from his mother, and he decides there’s plenty of time to take it before Ghost swings by. He’s been missing his family all day, but they promised to call at some point.

“Ma! Happy Christmas!” he shouts, laughing as his entire family tries to crowd into the camera view.

“You’ll each get a turn, back off,” his mother says, already throwing elbows at his siblings and their kids. His dad stands next to her, silent as always but with a huge smile on his face. He lifts his glass in cheers, and Johnny waves back in response.

“We’re about to eat dinner, but It’s good to see you all. Make sure everyone gets hugs from me, even though I’m not with you this year. And pass out my presents! Make sure the kids know how much Uncle John spoils them. I want photographic evidence!” he says, laughing as one of his nieces tries to jump into the view again. His dad picks her up and wanders off, no doubt about to bribe her into behaving with cookies.

“I hope staying away is worth it,” his mother says, but she doesn’t look mad, just nosy. She’s been on him for months to bring his boy home, no matter how much he tells her they aren’t dating. Ghost is one hundred percent his boy, though, even if he hasn’t realized it yet.

“It’s worth every second away from you all,” he answers honestly, “I’ll be home as soon as we get more downtime, but you know why I have to be here. Thanks for understanding.”

“Anything for my baby,” his mom says, snorting when he scowls at her.

“You ever going to stop calling me that?” he asks, knowing full well she never will. He isn’t mad, not really, just likes to give her grief about it.

“If you didn’t want to be my baby, you’d have been born higher up the chain,” she tells him with a smirk.

“We can argue about it later. Let me get dinner on the table and then we’ll chat again later, yeah? We can pass around the phone so all the kids can show me everything they got,” he suggests, and his mom nods in response.

“Go feed your boy,” she tells him and ends the call before he can quip back at her.

“Not my boy,” he mumbles to the empty room.

But then someone clears their throat from behind him, and his heart sinks into his chest. Fuck. He spins around with a fake smile on his face to find Ghost standing there with his arms crossed.

“I’m assuming you heard all of that?” he asks with a grimace.

“You lied about your family not being together,” Ghost says, though he knows it’s a question.

“Aye, I did. And I don’t feel bad about it. I couldn’t leave you here alone again. Like it or not, I’m here for you,” he says with a sharp nod. He’s already gearing for a fight, ready to be stubborn as hell about it, but what Ghost says next throws him off his game.

“Because I’m your boy,” he asks, and Johnny can hear the fucking smirk in his voice. He has a plain balaclava on today, which is as dressed down as Ghost seems to get.

“Don’t suppose you’d be willing to let that one go? We can forget about it,” he offers quietly. Because who is he to keep dreaming, right? He’s been dropping hints for at least a year now, and Ghost hasn’t taken the bait. He teeter-totters between thinking the man returns his feelings to thinking he barely tolerates him. Regardless, he meant what he said and he’ll be standing by his side as long as Ghost lets him.

“And if I don’t want to forget it? What if I wanted to be your boy? Though I’d prefer man, if we’re being honest here,” Ghost says, and he freezes while his brain catches up.

“You fucking with me?” he asks, just because he needs to know, needs to be sure before he makes a fool of himself. Well, more of a fool than he already has.

“No, but we could fool around later if dinner goes well,” Ghost tells him, laughing as he reaches up and pulls the mask off. He tosses it onto the table, barely missing the salad bowl.

And fuck, he’s a bonnie lad. Soap can’t even speak, just stands there staring at him, eyes trailing over every exposed inch of his face, committing it to memory in case this is the last time he sees it for a while. “You’re stunning,” he whispers in awe. Then he has the pleasure of watching Ghost’s face darken, the apples of his cheeks turning pink and making the freckles dotting them stand out even more.

“Shut up,” he murmurs before stepping closer. “But yeah, I’m all in if you want this too. Want me. I’m sick of wasting time. Maybe next year we can be with your family instead of me keeping you stuck on base.”

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life,” he says truthfully. “And I’d rather be stuck here every single year if you prefer it. But you heard my Ma. She wants you home with me.”

“Let’s make sure we make it to next Christmas, then,” he jokes, but there’s a hint of worry in his tone.

“Never letting go of you now,” Soap warns him with a laugh. Ghost chuckles and moves in so close the toes of their boots touch.

“Hard to let go if you haven’t even touched me yet,” he points out. And fuck if his smirk isn’t as lovely as Soap had imagined. It’s crooked, a scar bisecting the left side, but it’s perfect to him.

“Better fix that. Can I kiss you, Ghost?” he asks softly.

“Simon. Call me Simon when we’re alone,” he says breathily, and Soap knows how out of his comfort zone he is right now.

“Simon, can I kiss you? Please?” he asks and Simon just nods at him.

And so he does. He cups Simon’s cheeks, brushing a thumb across the constellation of freckles there, and leans in to press their mouths together. It seems almost anticlimactic after all their flirting, but the feel of Simon’s chapped lips against his is one of the best things he’s ever experienced. He can almost feel the tension leave both their bodies as they melt into each other. He keeps things light, pulls back before thinking better and darting back for another quick kiss.

Kissing Simon isn’t a burst of fireworks, but it’s like coming home which is even more perfect.

“Would now be a good time to tell you I’m really fucking in love with you?” he asks teasingly.

“Only if I can say the same,” Simon says, chuckling as he palms the back of Johnny’s head and drags him into another kiss.

And if they stand there kissing in the middle of the rundown rec room, lost in each other long after their dinner has gone cold, it’s no one's business but their own.

[helloalycia]

my happy ending [one] // kara danvers

summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important

warning/s: none

author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)

part two | masterlist

I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.

I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"

"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."

"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"

She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."

"Keira!"

Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"

"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."

Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."

I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.

Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.

I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.

I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!

The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.

As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.

"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"

I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."

Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.

"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.

I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.

"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”

Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."

"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.

"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.

"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.

I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.

"Hey," I said, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"

"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."

"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"

Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."

I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"

She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."

We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.

–

Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]

I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.

It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.

The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.

"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.

I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.

"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."

I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.

"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"

Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."

"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."

"This was all Cat, I just–"

"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"

I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.

She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.

"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."

I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."

She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.

"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.

I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.

We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I hope that was okay," she muttered.

I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."

My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.

"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.

She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."

"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."

She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.

"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.

"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.

"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."

I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.

As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.

Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation

I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.

I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.

–

Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.

It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.

She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."

Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."

It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"

Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."

I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."

Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.

"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."

"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?

"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."

"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."

She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."

I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?

"I want to say that I–"

But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.

"Alex, hey, what's up?"

I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.

I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.

"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.

"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.

Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"

"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"

Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."

I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.

"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"

Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."

As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."

I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.

I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.

[lemongingerart]

Hi @starlightsearches!

(Just putting this in a separate post not to hijack your original post, bc LOTS of words approaching. Also it's 2AM here, I don't know what I'm doing 💁‍♀️)

I hope you're having a better day! Kids can be really cruel sometimes, honestly it's the one thing that made me choose another career. I have so much respect for teachers who are doing their best to educate kids, putting all their effort in their lectures and trying to make these kids into better humans. I'm 200% sure you're one of them!

In a lot of places, teachers like you are extremely underappreciated, while you are forming the very future. It's really discouraging sometimes, especially when you have some rotten apples in the group. 

Not to put any more pressure on your shoulders 😆 but I do mean it. My mother is a teacher too and her story is VERY similar. 10000000000000000000000000000000x respect.

So I was going to draw a soft Hux sketch for you because I'm no good with words. But while sketching, and sitting in front of our cosy fireplace, I came up with a fluffy scene accompanying the drawing...

And then this blurb happened 🤓 

(So @everyone, in advance, sorry for the weird English, it's not my native language and I sometimes just literally translate sentences from my native language,  without knowing they don't make sense at all 😅 Feel free to let me know. Although I don't aspire to be a writer I do like to learn stuff 🙃)

(Also the sketch is more realistic than my usual style - I don’t really know what it's supposed to be - and there are mistakes all over the place, but it was nice to try something new 🥰 it's under the break!)

It's GN, just fluff, reader in established relationship with the one and only general ginger 😏😏😏 it's nothing special really,  but I hope it's comforting?

----------------------------------------------------------

The General isn't a man to show compassion, or, for that matter, emotions of any kind. But you know he is very perceptive of his surroundings.  You remind yourself of that, when you get the note on your datapad. 

 'Care for tea?', it reads. As short and efficient as ever, but warm and inviting. There's no trace of pressure, and there's an extra underlying message only you fully grasp. He wants to make time for you. For the both of you. 

Your shift had just ended and you were on your way to the mess, but you abruptly changed course, while sending out an affirmative reply. You weren't planning to meet up with someone anyway.  You were too worked up and worn out for that. You couldn't imagine the last time a shift had put so much pressure on you.

When you pressed the entrance button of his quarters, announcing your arrival, the door opened almost instantly. He's standing right in front of you, trying to act relaxed and casual, but you know him better than that. He was waiting for you at the entrance. And while his uniform dress shirt was open, the collar hanging loose on his neck and his shirt showing, you could hear him fiddle with his fingers. The leather of his gloves was making these little rasping sounds. A sound you recognized all too well. You could easily distinguish it, even from the other side of the bridge. Usually it meant he was bothered by something, but now it was just the usual nerves. They would disappear soon.

He surprised you with a warm smile, and the sight made all the built up tension from the shift flee from your sore muscles. The way his lips curled, how his cheeks looked just a bit fuller and the way his eyes lost their cold stare and turned into an almost loving gaze, made you forget about anything else. The only thing you could think right now, was that you were the only one who ever saw him genuinely smile. It took ages for him to open up and be sincere to you, but it was absolutely worth it.

He stepped aside, making room for you to enter his private living space. The smell of tea invited you over to the blue sofa and the ginger cat snoozing on the cushions. You took a seat, and Millicent sleepily crawled over, onto your lap. Hux approached, giving you your cup and taking his own in his right hand. Tarine tea in his, and your favorite flavor in yours. You stopped petting Millie and grabbed the warm cup with both hands, enjoying how the temperature made your knuckles loosen up. 

He sat down on the other side of the bench, as by habit trying to keep anyone out of his personal space. You knew better though, and bent over to his side, planting your head under his chin and wiggling it to find the right spot. Just like the cat did a few minutes ago. You could hear a soft chuckle escaping his mouth, and you were sure he was thinking the same.  

Moments like these made you realize how good you knew each other. The way he always had to adapt to physical contact, especially after a stressful shift. The little signs of emotion no one else could see. So many invisible signals you could catch with ease. 

Your ear was pressed against his chest, and you listened to his steady heartbeat. The mug was still in your hands. You took in the soothing smell and you realized he was even better at catching signals than you were. 

You sipped your tea and smiled. Both of you haven’t spoken a word since you got in, but there was no reason to. He understood what you needed. This comfortable silence, the beating of his heart and the spinning cat on your lap were everything you wanted right now.

He put down his cup, making you shift your position. When he leaned back, you found your place back on his chest. He wrapped his arm around you this time, though, returning the affection with a soft hug.  After a moment, you could feel his hand loosen its grip on your upper arm. He brought his other hand closer to pull out his gloves, giving you the silent signal that he was fully adjusted to your closeness. He lifted his now bare hand and placed it on your scalp, slowly massaging your head with his lean fingers. You could feel hair strands loosening and with it, the last of your stress disappearing and your eyes slowly closing. You were only slightly aware of him taking the almost empty cup from your hands, before falling into slumber.

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

@kawaiiipandaa said,

Hello! I was wondering if I could request a matchup? This is my first time doing this, so please let me know if I'm doing something wrong! ^^; For starters, I'm a Cancer and I'm 157 cm [ 5'2 ]. I suppose you can say my most distinct physical features are my short hair and glasses. Some of my hobbies consist of reading/writing stories, sewing [ just learned last year but I'm pretty proud of the pillows I've crafted ], and occasionally sketching.

I dislike large crowds, most seafood and speaking out loud. Personality-wise, I can be pretty standoffish and aloof upon first meetings. As I grow more comfortable with an individual, I'm known to be easily-embarrassed, somewhat clingy but still very much awkward. I laugh at jokes even when they aren't funny and tend to space out at times. I have a hard time opening up about my feelings, so most say that it's hard to understand me.

I prefer for things to go how I've planned for them to and when they don't, I get anxious.

✧ Thank you so much for requesting a matchup. I literally have no idea when you send this and I’m genuinely sorry for the very long wait. Please look after yourself. I wish you good health and all the best! 💓

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; The first time you met Kazunari was via a mutual friend of yours. It really wasn’t that surprising, considering the fact that he is someone who can talk to anyone without any discrimination. And when you guys did meet, there wasn't anything special between you two― you were just his friend’s friend which was also in the same year as him, and he was just your friend’s friend. He would smile at you whenever you were near each other, maybe strike up a conversation and out of politeness, you would give him a small smile back, weirdly enough, that was all and your friend was totally depressed about it. They wanted you guys to be friends too, or maybe more than friends but you don’t know that😌. Sometimes your friend group and his would have lunches together, which wasn't rare but also wasn't common either. And you would occasionally share a laugh and coversation with the others along with Kazunari, but you were always closer with your side of friends. But one day, you've gotten sick but you didn't want to burden and worry your friends because their classes were still ongoing so you had no choice but to try and walk home before you fainted but that day was said to have a rainy weather, and when you were about to leave to the school gates, not caring if you’d get soaked or not, a familiar voice called out for you, running up to you. You were confused, nevertheless stopped yourself as you saw Kazunari’s figure coming closer to you. “Oh, Kazunari.” your hoarse voice was evident, but you tried to clear your throat anyways. “I heard you were sick and you had to go home.” he started off, “Here,” he handed you an umbrella you didn't notice he held on his right hand. “I heard that it was going to rain today and saw that you didn't have an umbrella.” Not going to lie, you wasn’t expecting that. “No i could't i―” "What? Could it be that you are falling for me? I just made your heart flutter, didn’t I?” He asked excitedly, only to receive a blank look from you, the unfamiliar thumping on your chest, butterflies in your stomache being unknown to him. “Sorry, sorry. I just couldn’t pass the opportunity to tease ya you know?” He said with a smile and continued. “Your friends wouldn't be happy since you're already sick, and I still some classes and a spare umbrella. Get well soon ♪.” As you accepted his umbrella, you walked home with nothing but Kazunari wondering in the deepest cevices of your mind that you didn't know existed. After that day, something kinda changed between you guys. Don’t get me wrong, smiling at each other in the hallways were still a thing; but there were a bit newer accompanies, the peach on your cheeks, and the nervousness on both of your nerves. The two of you would have a small chit-chats with each other even if it's just the two of you inside a classroom, occasionally laughing at a joke one of you had up your sleeves. You and Kazunari would hold unusual, and long gazes at each other― the one would also look at the other when they aren't looking, and vice versa. You get the point. It was some time after that kdrama kinda thing that Kazunari invited you to watch him perform at Mankai.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; You two compliment each other perfectly! If I had to describe your relationship it would be introverted found its extroverted and I think it’s really cute skdhskdhkdhd. He loves how easily-embarrassed and clingy you are because hello??? he literally finds you the cutest thing ever. I headcanon him as the type of boyfriend who hugs you from behind as soon as he sees you or just closes your eyes with his hands and asks “Guess who, cutie~?”. I wouldn’t worry too much about having hard time opening up about your feelings or being hard to understand. He may not look like it but this boy is perspective. Very perspective. I feel like Kazunari is naturally observant of others' behavior due to being overly concerned about what other people think of him. This helps him notice the tiniest details of others, including their habits and personality. He’s not the type of person who would force you to spill everything inside your head. Instead, he would let you know that no matter what, he’s here to talk. That he’s here for you. After all, he knows how it feel like to not voice the things inside your head because you feel like it would only cause unnecessary trouble for the receiver. Kazunari teaches you that love should be fun and full of joy. There’s no reason that loving someone should be completely serious and perfect; imperfections make love real, they make love unique. His impulsive way of loving you is uniquely him; he loves you deeply, and diving into that pool of bottomless love he has for you from the highest diving board with no lifeguard near sparks more joy in him than should be humanly possible. He falls in love with how fun it is to love— with how fun it is to be in love with you. 

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; Since you have a harder time with big crowds than him, who doesn't mind showy spectacles, he usually spends time inside for you because he doesn’t want you to become uncomfortable. But be sure to offer going on outside dates to him from time to time. Both of you are into crafting, so I can imagine you two making masks, drawing together or making collages. You just get together to hang out and decorate your masks. You can both do your own thing or have them based on a theme. Whatever works for both of you. Don’t worry if they turn out horrible, that’s part of the fun. Oh, and Kazunari will make sure to get some photos together after you finish and post them on his social media accounts. Also, you two have a fun drawing game, where one person draws one part, and then the other does the next part. Or if you want a really interesting picture, one person draws until a timer runs out and then the next person goes. Depending on how serious you are taking the game, the finished piece is usually either a masterpiece or something that neither of you can describe. Needless to say, you two get a good laugh on the later. Oh, also I hope you don’t mind PDA because Kazunari likes to show the world your good times. The conversation would never cease as you lay wrapped in his arms. One arm would be slung around your waist, and the other resting beneath your head. Usually cuddling with Kazunari would be playful, more tickling than actually laying around, but sometimes, like a lull in the storm, he would stop talking, choosing instead to bury his nose deep in the crook of your neck. The room would be cast in silence. As you laid beside him though his mind reeled. You were real. You were beside him, a goddess in a mortal world, and you were with him out of every person in this world. Of course you had faults, but they were what made you, you. “I love you.” He would say, breaking the silence of the room, and causing you to startle. He had to tell you though. For all he knew, you would disappear like the dream you seemed to be, when he opened his eyes again.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Kazunari’s birthday is on August 1, which makes him a Leo. Cancer and Leo both have a playful attitude and a desire for an epic, enduring romance. These two are neighbors on the zodiac wheel, and depending on the degree of their sun, they share many of the same cosmic energies. They are fun-loving and creative. Leo likes romantic gestures, and Cancer knows how and when to show sincere affection. Both are strongly loyal, even to the point of possessiveness, Cancer for safety’s sake, Leo for the sake of their self-confidence. They are also both committed to a enduring, rewarding connection. Since their desires are similar, a Cancer and a Leo may fill very important voids in each other’s lives. What’s the best aspect of the Cancer-Leo relationship? Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony.

[blogulianatish]

An article

The house is located on a street with a typical building in the Victorian style. The Windows and doorways are lined with white bricks, and the incongruous color and style of the blinds and curtains indicate that several people live here. You turn off the engine, get out of the car, go to the front door and look at the names next to the two bells. Only his name is in front of the apartment on the first floor. You're a little surprised because you thought Akaashi was probably renting an apartment with a friend. On the other hand, what do you know about his life before he started working in publishing? Nothing, really…

***

You met in one of the editorial offices of Shonen Jump magazine, which was located in Kyoto. You worked as an editor, and Akaashi did an internship while he was at University, and later he was hired as a half-time editor.

But your meeting took place after a year and a half of his work.

You sat in the archive and sorted out old letters and sketches that were dedicated to famous mangakas in Japan, after which you had the idea to write an article about "OC".

At that moment, Kenji came in with a box of old Newspapers that had been copied to the archive.

Startled by your unexpected presence, you yelled at him, then quickly apologized and decided to ask for advice about the idea.

He immediately supported your idea and during the last year of training, which was supposed to end in 3 months, he told you how to add or remove it.

You're holding a big brown envelope with an article on it and his name on it. You struggle to push the envelope into the mailbox, and it falls to the floor with a loud thud. Coming out of the front door, you sit on the step, hiding your nose in a scarf. Lately, you've grown fond of sitting in one place and watching the world turn around you, and life goes on as usual, sometimes making completely unexpected turns.

***

On the other side of the street, a woman accompanies her son. He pulls up his hood, puts headphones in his ears, and leaves without looking back. A little way off, two men are standing near the open hood of a large car and talking enthusiastically, completely oblivious to the engine.

"You spelled Aric's name wrong", a familiar voice says from behind me.

"I was wrong about a lot of things", you say, turning around.

Akaashi is wearing the same sweater He was wearing when they met. The color of the sweater was spotless white, probably because he had cut it yesterday to wear it today. You've always liked that he puts special emphasis on his appearance. You know this sweater is very soft to the touch.

"Good article," he says, pulling a newspaper out of his backpack. - "The best OC manga that conquered the mangakas themselves". So, are you the best girl in the Department again?

"At the moment, Yes".

"Masashi Kishimoto even let you print his character sketches that you didn't put in the manga", he says.

"Yes, anonymously. Like this is the first OC he's ever seen", you said, and grinned.

Keiji looks at you with a completely calm expression.

"My God, did you even hear what I said?" you ask silently.

"Of course, he was very surprised that I asked him for sketches".

"Chiron came by yesterday. 've changed so much. I still don't know why I came. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. New shirt, tie, and a haircut.

***

Chiron is your ex-boyfriend, with whom you had a rather complicated relationship. Kenji said: "If you don't feel comfortable with him and you don't enjoy it, then why do you need a relationship that pulls you down?"

You constantly evaded the question because you knew that he was right, but you couldn't take the final step, so you had disagreements with Akaashi that made you suffer and feel insignificant.

After another conflict with Kenji, which served as the end of your communication. You've decided that enough is enough to feel guilty and decided to break with the grandeur of Chiron, saying that it's over.

The next day, you told the young man about your breakup, while apologizing and saying that he was right about everything, to which he replied:

"I See."

Thanks to which you realized that everything is over for you and him.

***

You can't help but smile mysteriously. Keiji silently sits down on the steps, puts his hands behind his head, and then says:

" You did a good thing."

"Hope. It's nice to know that at least someone ended up well."

An old man passes by with a dog. The tip of his nose is red from the cold, he says Hello, and you respond in kind. Akash was studying his shoes. You stare at him, wondering if you'll ever see him again, and silently ask for his forgiveness.

"I'd suggest you come in, but I don't have time to pack."

You throw up your hands theatrically, trying to hide your disappointment, get up from the step, adjust your glasses, and throw your backpack over your shoulder, barely feeling the ground under your feet.

"You ... you wanted something? Well, besides showing me what a cool journalist you are?" Akaashi asks seriously.

It's getting cold. You put your hands in your pockets. The guy looks at you expectantly, but you're afraid to open your mouth. If he says "no", then the world will simply collapse. That's why you waited so long before coming here. On the other hand, there is nothing to lose. After all, you may not see each other again.

The guy was going back to Tokyo to go to the editorial Department of Shonen Jump magazine, which immediately took him full-time. He liked to work as a journalist, but he was more given to the Department of literature.

"I was wondering... if you could write to me sometimes?"  you muster up the courage to ask.

"Write to you?"

" Well, while you're gone. Akaasha, I've ruined everything. I don't have the right to ask you to do this, but I really miss you. Word of honour. I just want to think that all is not lost and we can..." You stutter and rub your nose nervously. "We can write to each other".

"Write?!"

"Well, Yes, about everything. What you're doing, how you're doing, where you are", you explain, realizing how pathetic your words sound.

Looking into the distance, the guy puts his hands in his pockets and doesn't answer. The silence seems endless to you.

"It's getting cold", he finally says.

Something's tearing inside you: "It's all over, he has nothing more to say to me."

" We need to close the door, otherwise the heat is wasted", he adds, turning away.

You are silent. You shrug your shoulders in agreement and make a smile that looks more like a grimace. Just as you're about to turn around and leave, he says,

" Why don't you come in and make me some coffee? While I'm sorting out my socks. Actually, you owe me coffee, if I remember correctly", he continues in a less icy tone — not exactly warm, but not icy either.  "You can also take a look at my article. I might have made some mistakes there."

"Yeah, I don't want you to write another article wrong, you're the editor", you say happily, looking from his socks to his black hair.

Akashi rolls his eyes, shakes his head slowly, and walks into the house. You, trying to hide your beaming smile, follow him.

-----

Sorry for my poor English

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Lost one sibling, gained four more; Queen x teen reader pt.2

*Author’s note*

Okay so here we go w/pt.2 now here is where we get to majority of the angst towards the middle and the end of the story. So I hope you all got your handkerchiefs out cause you’ll need them for this part. I’m sorry in advance for any heartbreak that I’ll cause but it ends with fluff, don’t worry. Enjoy my lovelies

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

_________________________________________________________

"(Y/n). (Y/n)~ wake up sleeping beauty." I moaned and groggily opened my eyes to see Deacy smiling down at me. I felt his hand stroking my hair and I let out a soft yawn.

"Are we there yet?"

"We're just about to turn into the driveway right now." I heard Roger say. I got off Deacy's shoulder and as we finally arrived up at the studio I was surprised to see it was more like a barn than a recording studio. "This is it?" Roger asked.

"This is it boys and girl. Welcome to your new home for the next several weeks." Our driver parked the car and we all got out. I raised my arms stretching them out trying to wake myself up and all around me I saw nothing but miles of greenery, some animals out and about like cattle and chickens.

"It's pleasant. I think it'll do good." I said to myself.

"Oi intern! Make yourself useful and grab some of these bags." I heard Paul's nastily voice snap at me.

"Watch it Prenter. Less you wanna be thrown over the barn." Roger threatened him.

We were then given our rooms. Freddie of course got the biggest one, Rog's was quite comfortable looking, Brian had the rickety old bed, poor John was shoved down the basement in probably the smallest room in the whole house, then just before Paul could stick me down in the middle of the living room, Roger came down and said.

"Hang on, there's a spare room jointed with Freddie's. I think (y/n) should take that room."

"That won't do any good Roger, I've already called that room." Paul said.

"You sure you want that room Prenter? Because I just went in it and I saw this big, nasty, hairy spider about the size of a dinner plate. Not to mention the rat burrows I found in the drawers." At hearing Roger's tale, Paul's eyes widened and he said.

"Better yet, why don't you take that room lass?"

"Thanks you for understanding Prenter." Said Rog as he came over and wrapped an arm around me and brought me back upstairs.

"Please tell me there's no spider or rats." I whispered to him.

"Of course there's not. I just said that to jerk him off. You didn't really think I'd let you sleep in a room like that, did you?" He then opened the door to my room and it was fairly big in itself.

A beautiful wooden wardrobe with carvings of horses designed along the frame, a Victorian style dresser, a pretty big bed maybe a queen sized mattress and a joint bathroom.

"Plus I figured you deserve your own bathroom than having to share it amongst us men. Leave the fighting to us, no need to drag you into our morning squabbles of who gets the first morning shower." I set my stuff down and said.

"Thanks Rog."

"No need to thank me at all love, just hope you can handle Fred as a roommate."

"I managed while we were in Japan, didn't I?"

"That you did, well I'll leave you to unpack your things. Breakfast will be made in about an hour. Deacy's cooking today." I moaned already thinking of the delicious meal Deacy was going to prep for us. After unpacking my stuff, I lay down on the bed to test it and already I felt like I was on a heavenly cloud.

"Oh my god this bed is so comfortable." I turned towards the window and looked out to the green paradise that reached our far beyond the horizon. "God Kay, you should really see this view." I then grabbed my journal and did a quick sketch of the outside. The sky, clouds and even rays of sunlight peeking out. As I kept working, I soon heard Deacy's voice proclaim.

"Breakfast is ready!" I smiled and set my journal down and raced downstairs. "Well first one down, first one to be served. And also given something a little extra."

"Thanks Deacy." I thanked as he gave me extra cheese on toast and eggs.

"How come she gets extras?" exclaimed Paul. Deacy and I turned towards him and he said.

"I only give extras to first arrivals. And (y/n) here deserves every ounce of extra food because she alone appreciates my cooking."

"What are you talking about I appreciate your cooking Deacy darling!" Freddie proclaimed.

"Just last week you said my toast was too crispy for your liking."

"I was recovering from a hangover and I needed flavor, not dried up ash."

"Exactly my point Fred. Now everyone else come make your plate." We all then gathered around the table with me sitting between Brian and Freddie and Roger sitting across from me.

As the day went on, the boys went immediately to work after breakfast and tested out the recording studio across from the main house. They were all scattered around currently trying to come up with song ideas.

I was walking along outside to get some fresh air when I saw Roger bothering some of the chickens.

"I thought you were supposed to be working? Not bothering the livestock." He jolted before turning towards me and he said.

"I am working. In fact I've poured my heart and soul into this song."

"Oh really? And what song have you poured your very being into?"

"Come into the studio with me and I'll show you." He then guided me to the studio and went over to his drumkit and began playing his song to which he named "I'm in love with my car."

After he played it, I'll admit I was intrigued. It definitely had a good drum feel to it, because this was a song where the drums really got to shine and I haven't heard a song do that yet.

"How was that?" he asked me.

"It's......" I tried to find the right words on how I really felt.

"Please tell me you don't hate it. Cause I swear if you do I'll lock you in here till you say you love it."

"No, no Rog I don't hate it. I love the fact that it has a good drum feel to it. They really shine more than anything I've ever heard of from any rock and roller. It's just the lyrics.....Please tell me you don't actually want to have—"

"No! It's a metaphor (n/n). In fact Johnathan is inspiration to this."

"Wait Johnathan Harris, one of the roadies?"

"Yeah. He says that the current love of his life is his Triumph F4. So as appreciate for what he's done for us on the road, this song is for him."

"Ahh I see."

"So you—do like the song?" he asked almost insecurely. He stared at me with nervous baby blue eyes that made him look like a nervous puppy about to go to the vet. How could one say no to his face?

"I like it." A proud smile spread wide across his face as he came up and picked me up and spun me around.

"Oh thank you lovie. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

The next morning I woke up to the sound of an argument downstairs. I stood up and walked down the stairs to see Roger throw a few strips of bacon right at Brian.

"Is that strong enough?!" he then cleared the entire counter. Food, plates, the vase with some flowers and water all slammed right on the ground and broke into a million pieces. "What about that!?" he then reached for the coffee machine and was ready to smash it when Brian and Deacy exclaimed.

"NOT THE COFFEE MACHINE!!!"

"What is going on here!?" I snapped. The three of them turned towards me and that's when they all began talking over each other. I rubbed my fingers to my temples immediately regretting even saying anything. "SHUT IT!!!" at that point they all went quiet.

"(Y/n), please tell me you didn't actually agree to a song like 'I'm in love with my car'." Brian pleaded with me.

"I did. I think the song has some potential. I mean yeah the lyrics are a little iffy but it's catchy." At that point John and Brian groaned out while Roger gave me a wink and a thumbs up.

"And to think I was gonna make you Veronica's special apple pie. But now I take that back." Deacy said.

"I thought you had good taste in music (y/n)."

"And she does. At least it's better than calling someone sweet like they're cheese."

As the day went on, we were now recording Freddie's song to which he's titled "Bohemian Rhapsody." I'll admit the lyrics made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but Freddie had a vision for the song and just hearing him sing and play the piano of how he wanted this song to be, made me begin to really like this song.

Right now Brian who had just had an idea for a guitar solo for this song, was in the studio recording what he had in mind. I'll admit it this'll probably be the first time a guitar solo is sung, and when people finally get a taste of this song, they'll probably be singing this for decades to come.

Weeks continued to pass by and we were still focused on Fred's song. But what was really going through my mind was that I hadn't heard from my mum since the second day we came here. I know I've been busy with the guys but I would've thought Paul being the message keeper, he would've at least told me if my mum had called.

But then again you should never trust a snake with secrets.

It was currently 2:30am when I kept tossing and turning in my sleep. I kept whimpering out as my breathing went ragged and heavy.

"No. No.....no Kay don't.....don't leave me."

"(Y/n). (Y/n) dear. Darling wake up!" I suddenly opened my eyes someone reached for my lamp and when the light came on, Freddie stood hovering over me. "It's okay, it's okay darling, you're okay."

"Freddie wha—what time is it?"

"2:30 darling, I could hear you whimpering from my room."

"Ahh shit I'm so sorry Fred I—I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No, no it's fine dear. Are you okay? It sounded like a pretty bad dream." He said as he stroked some hair out of my face. I sighed heavily.

"It's been over 3 weeks since I've talked to my mum. And just the last few times that I have called I got no answer from the house phone. Freddie I'm—I'm worried something's happened to Kay. What if—what if she's....."

"Hey, hey, hey no don't think like that darling. Come here." He sat down beside me and pulled me close so that my ear was pressed over his heart. "Don't automatically assume the worst dear."

"Then why haven't I gotten word from my mum yet?"

"I'll sort it out with Paul in the morning. For now try to get back to sleep, yeah?" I sniffled and nodded. I lowered myself back into bed and Freddie helped tucked me back in. "There we go darling. Snug as a cute bug in a rug." I hummed a chuckle and he smiled at me. "Stay here for a minute."

He then left my room for half a second before finally coming back in with a candle in one hand and his lighter in another. He set the candle by the nightstand and flicked his lighter on before lighting it up. He turned my light off, letting the candle be my only source of light.

"What is this Fred?"

"Something I used to do with Kash when she was a little girl before I went off to boarding school. While this candle is a light, they are the eyes that a brother leaves behind to guard his sister while she dreams at night. No nightmares would dare enter while this candle is lite."

"You promise?"

"I swear it." He smiled and brushed my bangs out of the way before placing a gentle and loving kiss at the center of my forehead. "Goodnight my little kitten."

"Night Freddie." He smiled and gave me one final kiss to each of my cheeks before walking out smiling softly and shutting the door. I kept my eyes on the candle as it flickered on an invisible breeze. I soon felt my eyes grow heavy as I fell back asleep.

Early the next morning, we were starting the Operatic section of Bohemian Rhapsody. Roger being the high range singer that he is, recorded his bits for the Galileo parts.

"How was that?" he asked.

"Freddie?" Deacy spoke trying to get Fred's attention as he stared at the meters.

"Higher." Freddie said. Roy rewind the tape as Deacy said to Roger.

"Can you go a bit higher?"

"If I go any higher, only dogs will hear me."

"Try." Said Fred.

"Freddie's note, sorry." Said Deacy.

"Go on, roll the tape." Sighed Roger. Then on take 24 Rog tried the Galileo's again, this time they were higher as he did grand arm gestures to help make his voice go higher. "How was that? Better?"

"Higher." Freddie bluntly demanded. Brian pointed up to the sky with his pen and Roger growled out.

"Jesus, how many more Galileo's do you want?"

"Freddie wants to do a few more overdubs." Deacy stated.

"Do we even have any tape left?" asked Roger.

"I do have to say the tape is wearing out. It can't take much more."

"Yeah we can't afford much more. What are we three weeks overscheduled?" questioned Brian as he wrote down some notes while I was drawing Roger in the studio.

Soon enough one more take turned into 9-10 takes before Fred was finally satisfied. The operatic session continued with the next line, Freddie who was pacing around said with a grin.

"That's it." After Roger was done singing Freddie continued, "It's beautiful. Love it!" with a clap of his hands, they continued on.

Now all four of them were in the booth going back and forth from the low ranges to the high for the Bismillah section.

The guys got into it so much especially at the final vocalization that by the time the rock out section came on, they were all bouncing up and down so much that they actually made the flats collapse backwards, barely missing some of their stuff.

Freddie and John came falling to the ground, while Rog and Bri were the ones responsible for knocking the two flats behind them down. I couldn't help but laugh myself as I knew this song was gonna change Queen's life forever.

"How was it (y/n) darling?" asked Freddie.

"I love it guys. It's perfect! This is gonna change the world forever." I said into the microphone and the guys all cheered.

Whoo what a rush! I thought we'd never get the song done. Guess being a perfectionist finally paid off, because as I've said repeatedly I truly believe "Bohemian Rhapsody" is gonna change the way of music forever.

Now with the song finally done and the guys taking a break for a bit, I decided to try and call my mum again to see how Kaylee is doing.

I typed in my home phone number and I heard it ring three times before my mum's voice said.

'Hello?'

"Hey mummy."

'(Y/n)?'

"Yeah who'd you think it was Debbie Reynolds? I've......"

'(Y/n) I've been trying to call you repeatedly for weeks hadn't you gotten any of my messages?' her voice was frantic and cracking with sorrow.

"Whoa, whoa mum slow down. What's happened?"

'I've been calling you repeatedly nonstop. This man who answered said he'd relay my messages to you. But you never called me back, why didn't you call me back?!' Paul. Goddamn you Prenter!

"Mum I didn't get any messages. What's happened?"

'(Y/n)......it's Kaylee.'

"What about Kaylee is she alright?!"

'Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry......it just happened so suddenly, the doctors tried so hard to revive her but she—she died a week ago.' At this point I just froze.

No she—she couldn't have. Not Kaylee, not my best friend. She can't be dead, she can't be!

"(Y/n) dear! Come on out and party with us! We—darling?" I saw all four of the guys come in from outside and they must've seen the horrified shock on my face.

I could hear the faint sounds of my mum trying to get my attention but all I did was drop the phone and race upstairs. I slammed the door shut and leaned up against it.

My chest felt like it was being squished by a car as I could barely get a breath of air out. Then I guess I must've blacked out because all I could faintly hear was the sound of crashing, the faint feeling of my fist beating against a wall and just screaming. I don't know how long I was doing this but it wasn't until I felt the familiar arms of Roger wrap around me trying to get me to stop.

I ended up crying and screaming as I just collapsed into Roger's lap and wept hard and long.

I was now back in London ready to bid a final farewell to my sister at her funeral. I only just wish I could've said goodbye to her before she passed away. Since it was an open casket, my mum and I stood side by side of each other as we stared down at Kaylee before we would bury her.

"She loved you (y/n). I hope you realize that." Said my mum.

"I wish I got to say goodbye to her though."

"I know." She wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm and back. She then left me alone with my sister. I stared down at her and it was like she was asleep, like our favorite Disney Princess Aurora. However I knew that not even true love's kiss would wake her up, because unlike Aurora my sister is actually dead and no spell can reverse it to make it a sleeping curse.

I didn't even know what to say. My throat was choking up as it felt dry, my stomach was in tight knots, and I felt like crying but my tears were all spent. I felt sick and just wanted to curl up and disappear, maybe even die myself so that I could be reunited with my sister. I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers and whispered.

"Goodbye Kay." I kissed her forehead and began to realize just how cold she was. I backed away from her casket and lowered my head as I felt sobs coming out of me once more. I felt a presence behind me and that's when I heard Roger's voice say.

"We're so sorry (y/n)." I whimpered and immediately nuzzled myself into his chest as my voice trembled.

"Thank you Queen." Roger wrapped his arms around me and placed his head on top of mine and kept hugging me.

It was surprising that the boys wanted to come to the funeral to pay their respects to Kaylee, and it was also surprising that from some of the profit they've already made from their previous records, as well as payment for this album to help pay for this whole funeral.

I soon was passed over to Brian who gave me a soft but assuring bear hug.

"We're truly sorry for your loss (y/n). Kaylee didn't deserve to be taken away so young. But she'll always watching over you from the stars."

"And we're always here for you precious darling." Freddie stated. He came over and cupped each side of my face and he said as he wiped away my tears, "Paul's out. After finding out he kept these messages from you, we fired him. We wish we had found out sooner, you know we'd stop the recording and drive you back home to say a final goodbye. You know that right?" I nodded and I felt him kiss a tear away.

Deacy soon came up and he held his arms out for me. I instantly went to him and clung onto him. And even when he refused to say a word, this was the best comfort I could ask for.

I didn't need all this sympathy talk, or the repetitive 'she's always watching over you' or 'she's never really gone. She's up in heaven with the Lord watching over you.' Or whatever religious BS people have to say.

He just held me and pet my hair, and that's all I needed.

After that I—I couldn't go back to work for the guys. I had no motivation anymore, just due to the fact that I needed to be with my mother now. She had just lost her first born child and I can't imagine what she's going through right now. I need to be there for her, no matter what to let her know I'm still her. Even if it means letting go of my dreams.

2 years later; I was working a 9-5 shift at a shopping center. I basically did what Mary used to do at Biba. Along with that, my mum's forced us to go to therapy sessions to try and talk about our feelings after Kaylee's death.

Since I was now done with work, I had to go to my independent weekly session. I was sitting on the couch with my therapist Dr. Lockwood sitting at his desk.

"So how have you been handling all this so far?"

"I mean—I get by day by day. Some days are hard, some are easy." I answered.

"Have you entered into Ealing art college yet? You said you wanted to be an artist."

"I decided not to go. So I just work at the shopping center a few miles away from here. Sorta near Biba."

"Why did you decide to give up your dream? I thought being an artist was your dream?"

"Yeah well dreams change." I sneered.

"Okay, okay I can understand that. So do you like this job better than your old one?" I remained silent. "Your mother said that you worked alongside Queen. They've got good music, my daughter's bought every one of their records."

"Yeah they're.....they're talented guys." I muttered.

"So about your previous job? Was it better than your current one?"

"I mean.....I don't have as much fun as I used to but....." I trailed off and couldn't bring myself to answer.

"Do you think your sister would've wanted you to give up your job with them?" I turned to look at him and I snapped.

"Why must you assume what my sister would want of me!? You're not her! You don't know what it's like to lose your best friend! You're just trying to make me feel guilty, that's all you've ever done!"

"I'm not making you feel guilty. Your mum told me that your sister was thrilled that you were working with both of yours favorite band. She knew you were special and just what Queen needed."

"I just......"

"(Y/n), I bet the boys of Queen miss you just as much as you miss them. I know why you had to leave, it was your way of handling your grief, and to be there for your mum. But the boys had helped you throughout your internship, as well as during the funeral. No rock band would do that willingly." I leaned back against the couch and sighed heavily. "I believe your sister wouldn't want you to push them away as you have been."

"They—well Roger mostly has tried to reach out a few times for the past couple months. I never did call him back though."

"I think you should go see them. Aren't they going to perform in Houston in a couple days?"

"What if they don't want to see me since I've been avoiding them?"

"If they truly loved you, I doubt they would turn you aside."

So I took Dr. Lockwood's advice and got a ticket and went on the next flight to Houston, Texas for their concert. As usual the boys performed magnificently on stage, especially with their new album News of the World out. I also took notice that Rog, Freddie and Deacy had shorter hair than I last remembered.

But they still were awesome up there, hell I thought they looked even better with the shorter hair. They continued to work the audience with each song and seeing the crowd react bigger and more energetic than ever before it made me happy to know the guys were finally reaching the popularity they always wanted to have.

When the show was over, I stayed behind and somehow managed to sneak backstage. I walked along the underground hallways that lead to the dressing rooms when I was stopped by a security guard.

"Excuse me do you have a backstage pass miss?"

"No but I know the band."

"Uh-huh you and every other young teenage girl that pulls this move." He stated as he gripped hold of my arms and began to take me outside.

"No, no let go I'm not kidding! I used to be their lawyer's assistant!"

"Young lady I gave you fair warning, now please leave or else I'll have you arrested."

"What is going on out—(y/n)?" I turned and gaped.

"Phoebe?" It was Freddie's assistant Peter or as Freddie like to call him, Phoebe.

"Oh my god you—you actually came." He said with a wide smile.

"Yeah I—I was hoping to also maybe......talk to the guys."

"Yes of course ohh you have no idea how happy they'll be to see you again."

"But....." the security guard tried to butt in and that's when Phoebe slammed him.

"Oi back off pal, this young lady here is Queen's personal assistant. She's just been on personal leave for a while. So if you don't let her through, you'll have to face the wrath of the four Queens." With no other words from the security guard, he let me go and Phoebe extended his arm out towards me and I followed behind him. As we walked along the corridors he asked me, "So how have things been for you (y/n)?"

"It's.....been rough."

"I know what you mean. When my mum died I didn't know what to do."

"Are—are they upset with me?" I asked nervously.

"Of course not darling. Not once have they talked about you in anger or resentment. If anyone did, Roger and Fred were the first to pop those bastards in the face." I nodded. Soon we reached the dressing room and he said, "here we are love. They should be decent by now. Go on in."

"Thanks Peter." He smiled and patted my shoulder before leaving to check out to see if the roadies had finally cleared the stage and packed everything up. I stared at the door and took a deep breath in before exhaling softly and slowly opened up the door.

"He threw my best fucking pair of maracas away the first day. Great sounding maracas and I mean....it took me hours to steal them." I softly smiled as I heard Roger's voice for the first time in 2 years. I could hear the sounds of laughter before Freddie spoke up.

"Now they know I'm gonna throw those things...."

"And he just goes..."

"Actually they were wonderful I must say, I'm sorry."

"One in a million maracas and I'm never gonna get them back." Roger whined. I slowly stepped further in the dressing room to see Fred sitting down in his green and gold robe getting unwind from the performance while Roger continued to pace around muttering about his maracas while Brian and John were adjusting the sleeves on their normal clothes.

Freddie continued to talk about the maracas and that's when I picked up on Brian saying.

"You can throw me in the audience." Freddie stood up and he said.

"You don't...you don't rattle as good." That's when he looked over and he must've seen me because his eyes went wide briefly and his face turned solemn. Brian then turned around and he saw me as well hiding in the corner.

"(Y/n)?" everyone soon turned their attention towards me.

"Hey guys, long—time no see, ehh?". Knowing of my story, the assistants, makeup people and roadies all left the dressing room leaving me alone with Queen.

The four men stood before me and neither of us spoke until I finally broke the ice.

"I—I'm really sorry I just left guys I.....I was stupid, selfish, and you guys didn't deserve me at all. I just—I was lost and I know that's no excuse but—you guys didn't deserve to have a broken girl hanging off you just as you were finally about to rise to fame. And now look at you all, famous on pretty much every country, our own home country finally recognizing your talents. If I had stayed I would've just dragged you four down and—" I trailed off as Deacy was the first to stand before me.

Mr. King of the one liners, I've witnessed firsthand of him breaking people with just one phrase or sentence. I could only imagine what he was going to say to me after all this time. You get on John Deacon's bad side and he'll make you know it, for life.

But I was shocked when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a comforting hug. I was frozen but it wasn't until I heard him say.

"You are anything but what you just called yourself poppet." I slowly began to relax as I buried my face into Deacy's chest and wrap my arms around him. I felt him pet down my head much like he did at the funeral and allowed me to let out a couple of tears.

"We understand you needed to process your grief (y/n). We're not mad at you for leaving us." Said Brian. I looked up towards the spaceman guitarist and that's when Roger spoke up.

"But we are disappointed of the way you shut us out for two years." His tone wasn't anger filled or upset, but it did have that disappointing tonality. I lowered my head in shame and I muttered.

"I know."

"We were willing to be there for you in any way you needed. Even if it was just to sit there in silence. We wouldn't have hounded you darling because you didn't need that. It would've been nice to hear your voice again, just to see that you were okay." Said Freddie.

"I'm really sorry guys. I—I came to ask if you'd forgive me." They remained silent and deliberated with each other just by looking at each other and that's when Brian came up and cupped each side of my face.

"There's nothing to forgive love." I felt my lip tremble and I choked out a sob. Soon enough I was once again for the first time in two years, in the middle of a Queen group hug.

I'm glad I chose to come here. I guess in a way it was my sister telling me that even though she was gone, she knew that I would be looked after by four amazing and loving big brothers to look after me for the rest of my days until the day comes when I pass on and be reunited with my best friend once again.

[danganmos]

Updated FAQ

Age-related FAQ

I'm 17, can I still join?

If your birthday is before MARCH 1ST, then you can stay! If it is after March 1st, then unfortunately you must go.

Why is it 18+ anyway??

Two reasons! 1. This might have a lot of upsetting content such as body horror, gore, nsfw JOKES. There is no actual NSFW in this server. Mostly there's possible horror aspects that could be upsetting for people under 18 and to keep our options open, it's better to be safe than sorry. *Please note everything dealing with body horror, gore, executions etc. will most likely be only written out descriptions. 2. Some members do not feel comfortable with minors. It can be due to anything- Nothing against one person or anything! For example, I'm a music teacher and I teach minors. It's weird for me to not be professional around minors due to this and it makes me feel weird.

FAKE ages

Please do NOT fake your age. This game will be long and if I discover that someone has been lying about their age, then they are valid for permanent banning. Be honest please.If you know anyone who turns 18 before March 1st, they can now apply.

What is the Hopeful's list? This list shows who has turned in their applications! This helps people see what talents, names, and who is RPing them has turned in. Is this the official class list? Nope. Just a list of those who have applied. The official list will not come out until March 1st.     People's names are on there twice? Yes! You can submit as many apps as you want. Why is Inu (the admin) on there twice was accepted characters? For plot reasons, it would be very helpful for me to have two OCs here to assist. I don't want my name on that list Okay! DM me and I will remove it.

PROMPT FAQ

How do I do the prompt?

You read the entire prompt and then reply how your character would like. I'll be posting an example soon in #⭐examples⭐

Why are there so many suggestions inside the prompt? Do I reply to all of them?

No, no! Not at all. I listed a crap ton of suggestions because sometimes people need ideas on what to do.  The main goal is to see how your OC would react in the face of danger.

What person should this be in?

Please have it be in third person. While this is a prompt that says "you" in second person, I merely did that to avoid anything sounding too awkward. This entire thing is for your OC too- Nothing out of character / irl.

I can't picture what the room looks like?

Here's a rough picture I photoshopped together.

TALENT FAQ

I have an OC with an art talent, but I see you're not accepting those?

That is kind of correct. Due to this being an art museum, talents such as SHSL sculptor, oil painter, acrylic painter, - painter, sketch artist, art critic, or anything within the physical art field are most likely not going to be accepted. I have personally decided that would give the art OC an advantage that could kill the fun for everyone else. It would also make a lot of plot issues for the NPCs and plotline.

My OC is a _ artist, is that okay?

Talents such as comic artist, graffiti artist, garbage artist, make-up artist / special effect artist, any designers, and any photographers are okay. Basically, if the art has anything to do with a stereotypical non-modern museum, expect it to be denied.

My art OC is being treated differently than the other OCs by the Mod/NPC characters?

If an art (any art field) OC is accepted, please expect them to get heavily harassed by an NPC character. It's part of the plot, trust me. They really aren't welcome here to the NPC characters. Think of it as starting with a letter grade of "C" while everyone else gets a "B." The art field OCs can and will be on a possible NPC's shitlist. This implies the NPC characters will bully them, harass them more than the others, or try to run them out of town.

My OC has a fake talent because....

Fake talents are 100% good and fun to do! The only reasons when they're not okay are when they revolve around: - "I have a fake talent to hide my true gender." Closeted OCs are fine- But when a gender becomes a form of plot/tragic backstory, then it becomes a little iffy. There are plenty of bad representations of gender in the media already. We'd rather not deal with the possible controversies that come with it. If your OC is a closeted gender/sexuality, then it's fine. It is very common for people in this day of age to be closeted due to family/religion/social/whatever situations. -"I have a fake talent to hide my illegal talent." Again, totally okay. The only times this isn't okay is when the talent they hide deals with NSFW talents or drug-related talents. There is no OC here with a NSFW talent. While their personalities/hobbies can be NSFW, there is no accepted/will be no accepted OC that's like SHSL Adult star or anything. With that being said, NSFW humor/crude jokes/being nasty is allowed. There will be no actual NSFW in this server. It can be _implied, but never shown.-"I have a fake talent to hide my illegal talent" pt 2 Cool. Murder, malicious intent, possible killers, or whatever is fine. The line is drawn when it comes to cults, human trafficking, kidnapping, and so on. Anything revolving around that is not welcome. While your OC can have this in their backstory, I'm not going to deal with a SHSL kidnapper.

Get that shit out of here. -"I have a fake talent because my true talent is embarrassing." Neat. -"I have a fake talent because my true talent is suspicious." Neat. -"I have a fake talent because I want to." Cool.

In regards to excessively - characters

What does this mean?

This means characters who are not very deep. For example, a SHSL serial killer who is 1. obviously a serial killer, 2. finds nothing wrong with it, and 3. literally talks about it way too often. While you can drop hints and have your OC be apathetic to their morals and killing, I'd rather not have someone running around bragging about it. This also goes for other stereotypes that can become repetitive, predictable, and somewhat boring. Another example is a stereotypical anime tsundere character who acts the same each and every time. Please know that we are looking for deep characters who can be brought to life by the writers.

BLEEDING FAQ

Bleeding into IC

This is not welcome in the slightest. If an OC appears to be the writer in an OC form/a self insert, then they will be turned down. The worst part about a killing game with bleeding means that we aren't just killing the writer's OC.... We'd be killing the writer. To avoid such topics, awkward situations, and potential drama; please know that self inserts of any kind are not okay.

I share this trait with my OC, is this bleeding?

No! Not necessarily. Bleeding is strictly when you stop RPing as your OC and literally place yourself in their shoes and become them/ they become you. Lots of traits in OCs stem from IRL experiences or concepts, which is totally fine. For example, Iseri has a strong sense of smell like I do. This does not mean I am Iseri. I do not condone his actions and I do not give a shit if he dies. If I were to be completely like him, condone / justify his actions, and get super upset if he dies, then that is bleeding. Feel free to ask questions about this concept.

I don't want (this character) to die. I like them too much.

Sucks, huh. When you apply an OC to a killing game, please expect no one to be safe. Not even the mod OCs. Everyone is valid to die. Do not beg a mod to let that OC live. (Your own OC or someone else's OC.)