#these are middle aged people btw

[gilbirda]

Begging my coworkers to learn the meaning of indoor voices and also to lower the fucking volume of their computers

and silence their phones

[annamationsart]

everyone loves talking about little jon in correlation to mr. spider but no one ever talks about how insufferable this kid was. i wouldn’t wish sitting next to him in class upon my worst enemy

[kedreeva]

At some point in your life, there will be a moment where exactly - or near exactly - half the people in the world are younger than you, and half the people are older.

And I think that moment should be the one your soulmate Mark appears at, not at birth or puberty or something. Both because at birth is kind of boring but it's also very you-centric and soulmates are about the thing outside of you being a part of you, and I think it would be nice to include The World.

But also I think it would have fascinating implications for scientific and social studies. Longevity trends tracked by the average age soul marks appear. Tragedies causing a rash of recent marks to disappear (because the people are no longer the middle). Marks appearing early during baby booms.

[seancefemme]

(ignoring literally everything else) omg who wants to be tenth-century lesbian princesses who fall in love and found a monastery together 🫶

[bloomfish]

hahaha i just looked up taylorswifs age to see if it was at all justified that someone on here called her 'almost middle aged' and she's 34 😭😭😭 u guys have got to stop, even actual middle-aged women often are cringe and write bad poetry, as they should. try going to a poetry open mic or something.

this isn't a defence of taylor as a songwriter because who cares and idk enough to tell u. but i guess i find the idea that she should be ashamed of herself because 'women who are younger than her are writing/have written way better stuff' absurd. like yeah? such is the way of the world. age doesn't really matter that much. girls who are younger than me are writing poetry that's better than mine and i'm undoubtedly writing stuff that's better than some women who are older than me. I'm all for an honest criticism of, well, anything, particularly pop music but that isn't an honest criticism lol or even remotely relevant.

anyway im listening to michelle branch and avril lavigne rn so I can't really talk about cheesy pop music lol. it has its place in society is my feeling i guess and ppl r gonna enjoy it, it's made to be enjoyed is the whole thing about pop music and the fact that ppl like it is not worth getting up in arms about. chill. relax. do some ketamine

[dandelionjack]

so it was my mother’s birthday a couple of days ago, and as a present my grandma gave her (and the whole family to boot) tickets to a mini london tour with a guide, specifically focused on islington, in russian obviously since she doesn’t speak much english. led by this eccentric gentleman in a bowler hat who’s from moscow but has lived here for 19 years and has been leading guided tours for ten.

the tour was fun and informative. lots of tall tales mixed in with historical facts and local art history too. but the guide himself... man. imagine a cross between eddie redmayne and peter capaldi. 40ish. salt and pepper hair. hooked nose roman profile. educated. witty. storyteller. dresses like some kind of urban wizard or as-yet-unseen incarnation of the doctor. mischievous glint in his eye. learns the name of everybody in the group immediately and chats to you like a casual friend as you walk from destination to destination. i sound like a fucking creep now, don’t i, but what is tumblr if not a public personal diary? don’t think i’ve ever caught a crush this quickly before. started entertaining silly little clara fantasy delusions for a second.

then at one point while recounting an anecdote he mentioned his wife and kids, naturally that brought me back down to reality. here, have a regents canal photo instead

[chessb0r3d]

Guys, I'm plural.

[cowboy-robooty]

dude can you please do a face reveal i need to see what you look like. or draw yourself. im so curious im sorry ok bye have a good day

yes i do look like the most sterotypical asian man imaginable. yes i am a biology major. yes i use reddit. yes im an incel. yes my favorite subjects are math and biology. yes i wore polo shirts through all of middle school. yes i am blind without my glasses. yes the lenses are so fucking thick they stick out of the frames. yes i have racist huge front buck-teeth. yes i am abnormally short. yes im a shitty driver. dont ask me about my penis.

[sixtysixproblems]

jumpscared by my mother bringing up bbc sherlock when i say i want to read/watch more mystery genre stuff. "have you heard of it?" "oh, uh, yeah i know of it"

imagine my distress when she implies she found johnlock to gay as shit, "i bet there's lots of fanfic about that"

(pained smile, internally screaming "YOU HAVE NO IDEA") "oh yeah, i think there is"

this sounds like a fucking fake tumblr story, this sounds like the most fake tumblr story ever and i am posting this in the year of our lord 2023, but istg it's not she just Does Things Like This to me sometimes.

[pickled-flowers]

Honestly shout out to my new boss for saying she was willing to get in trouble with corporate to get me a pronoun pin 👍

[smegmafactory4ever]

Wait I could work for a company that scams specifically American citizens bcs I have a way of speaking with American entitled customers that just stops them in their tracks. They're actually so brainwashed into the "customer is always right" mentality (both customers and customer service) that they malfunction when you give them a polite but firm "NO".... Those people just never hear no so when they do they get so scared and confused they start fawning.... It's hilarious and I loved it....

[supercantaloupe]

okay i get what you're trying to say but the arab conquest of the levant happened in the seventh century ce

[kaurwreck]

I cannot stress enough: bsd!Fukuzawa and bsd!Mori are in their 40s. Mori is BARELY in his 40s. They are not old.

Fyodor, however, is at LEAST in his 60s, and he's also Rasputin.

[buckets-of-dirt]

Not to keep New Voyages posting in 2024, but I do love that a bunch of obsessive trekkies who replicated the sets and props down to the smallest details and adapted a lot of actual unused scripts managed to accidentally (?) make a one-off background character several years older than he should be when they turned him into a reoccurring secondary character for their series

[alwaysalreadyangry]

oh and when i say people might hear of anglish and think of it as a fun thought experiment - i mean in the sense that like a decade ago i had vaguely heard of it as a concept/game almost of trying to think up germanic roots that could make modern english words with the same meanings of words we use that come from french or latin. which seemed to me just a fun way to play with language! surely nobody actually has any deeper political intent here or actually thinks they can change or “purify” the language this way! hahahaha!

anyway yeah, as it turns out,

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

fun little-known-by-people-on-here fact about me, lol, I used to do visual merchandising at the corporate HQ of Diane Von Furstenburg and worked below her personal office and she used to call my desk a bunch and like. idk it's just funny to me that my life is SO weird w so many anecdotes that that'd be the highlight of someones life but it never even gets brought up from me