#these are just the first five that came to mind

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Rafe was so hot this season. Need more of him plsss Can you do Topper sister reader getting caught touching herself and then they start sexting and she ask him to fuck her? reader is 18, of course!

I have a few more Rafe requests in the work. Please keep them coming, I miss this man (and JJ!!)

Warnings: 18+, smut, brother’s best friend, sexting, daddy kink, protected p + v, 

—

Rafe never bought your sweet and innocent bullshit you put up in front of people. He knew that under your appearance, under the preppy clothes, the big doe eyes and the angelic laugh, you were anything but innocent. 

Him and Topper have been friends for over ten years, and have been hanging out almost everyday. He watched you grow two feet taller, and when your little girl body turned into a woman’s. He saw you. He studied you. 

It wasn’t until that afternoon the boys came back from the golf course that Rafe had his confirmation. Topper told him to use your bathroom since the main one was being reconstructed, thinking you weren’t home, but when Rafe walked into your room, he saw you naked on your bed, humping your pillow. It wasn’t just any pillow. It was the one with the face on it — a pillow pet, you had called it. The nose of the turtle was rubbing perfectly on your clit, drawing out the softest whimpers and mewls. 

He watched for a few seconds in silence as you rocked down on the pillow back and forth, a smirk curling on his lips. 

‘’Having fun here?’’ he said in a teasing tone, snapping you out of your bubble.

‘’What the fu—’’ You turned around, startled, and saw Rafe standing in your doorway. ‘’Rafe! What are you doing in my room?’’ 

‘’Just needed the bathroom,’’ he explained. His eyes trailed down your body, seeing it for the first time. ‘’Didn’t know you were busy.’’

You threw a plushie at him, hitting him square in the chest. ‘’Get out!’’ 

Rafe laughed and obeyed, closing the door behind him. ‘’If you want to do some naughty things and not get caught, you should lock the door.’’ 

୨୧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖୨୧

Since that afternoon, Rafe couldn't help but shift his eyes to you whenever you were around. Now that he knew what was underneath the skirts and girls tops, his imagination had free rein. He was careful, though, making sure your brother never caught on —Topper would kill him if he knew the things he was thinking about you. He made it crystal clear to Rafe and Kelce: you were off-limits.

You didn’t care about your brother’s rule though. Rafe was your brother’s hot best friend. Every girl in Kildare was begging to get in his pants — and now you got it too. But it didn’t cross your mind until the other day when he walked in your room. Maybe it was because you’d always known him, seen him as a kind of second big brother. But now? That image had changed, and there was no going back.

One evening, Rafe was hanging in his bedroom, ready to go out with nowhere to go since Kelce had bailed on him for a Tinder hook up. The asshole. Rafe was annoyed, but there was nothing he could say to make Kelce choose beers over sex. To be fair, He would choose sex too.  

He had texted Topper, but he was at Ruthie’s, which meant Rafe was completely on his own tonight. He’ll probably smoke a bit of weed and watch some porn later, a cozy evening. But Wheezie was still home and Rafe promised her he had quit smoking. 

As he waited, his phone buzzed on his bed where he left it. Rafe picked it up, confused when he had received a picture from an unknown number. It was a faceless girl in a delicate sheer pink cami, and her tits looked fantastic. He frowned as he typed ‘who’s that?’. Must be a mistake.

A reply came five seconds later.

You: You don’t recognize my tits Rafey?

Instantly, he knew it was you. It was a nickname you gave him when you were younger. No one but you called him that — Rafey. 

Rafe: How did you get my number?

You: Stole it from Top’s phone 🤭

Rafe: Naughty girl 

You: Did you like it?

Rafe: Like what?

You: My pic! 📸

You: [picture attached]

It wasn’t the same picture. Not exactly. This time, your sheer cami was pulled up and your tits were completely out. 

Rafe cursed and ran a hand through his hair. How did that happen? It was clear that you sent this picture with the intention of initiating something with him. But why was this happening now? What made you go and send him a picture of your tits tonight? You never flirted with him before, or showed signals that you were interested. 

He reached down to rub himself over his pants as he typed a reply. 

Rafe: Fuck those are nice 🥵 

You: They’re cold…🧊❄️ Can you come warm them up? 

Rafe had to do a double take when he read your message to make sure he hadn’t misread it. Can you come warm them up? It was right there on his phone screen. He looked down at his pants, tented and tight, and groaned. He wasn't sure if he should go through with this or not. Did he want to go to you? Absolutely. Should he break his best friend’s trust for a good fuck? 

Rafe: As long as you warm me up too. 

He sent a picture of his tented pants, which he was incredibly hard under.

You: Waiting for you 💕 

 ୨୧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖୨୧

When he arrived, Rafe turned off the truck’s headlights and made sure the neighbors didn't see him. The lady that lived in front of the Thornton house was a country club member and loved to spread gossip around. It wasn’t unusual for him to be at the Thornton’s, but Topper’s truck was not in the driveway. 

The last thing he needed was her spying through her curtains. 

You were sitting on your bed in a pair of panties your mom didn’t know you owned and your pink cami, waiting for Rafe to show up. Tannyhill was seven minutes away, he shouldn’t be long.

‘’Hi, Rafey,’’ you greeted with the most innocent smile and doe eyes.

Rafe shook his head, tsking. ‘’Uh, uh. Don’t play that game with me.’’ 

Your lips curled into a smile. ''Took you long.''

He rolled his eyes. ‘’What’s the hurry? Are your parents coming home soon?’’ 

You shook your head. ‘’I’m just so fucking horny.’’ 

Rafe laughed out loud. He never heard you speak like that, so raunchy and bold. 

You stood on your knees and lifted your cami off, leaving you topless. Your nipples were peaked and pretty, as if greeting Rafe. ''Are you gonna come and warm them up?''  

No need to ask twice. Rafe pulled you onto his lap and put his large hands on you, groping and playing with your tits. His calloused fingers kneaded into the soft flesh expertly. He found your hardened nipples, pinching and rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers, causing you to whimper at the sensation. 

‘’You like when I give your tits attention, uh?’’ he murmured, his breath hot against your skin.

You nodded, shifting so your needy cunt would come in contact with Rafe’s rock hard erection. He noticed what you were trying to do, and a smirk played on his lips before he attached them to your neck. 

‘’Can't get enough?’’ Rafe asked between kisses. ‘’Didn’t know you were such a needy little thing.’’ His hips rocked up into yours, grinding his thick cock against your clothed cunt. 

The friction sent sparks of pleasure shooting through your body, making you whimper and cling to his shoulders. ‘’Rafe.’’ 

‘’I'm going to fuck this sweet cunt until you can't walk straight,’’ he promised darkly, nipping over the sensitive spot where your pulse raced, making you gasp and arch into him. 

You’ve thought a lot about Rafe touching you these past days. You knew from overheard conversations with the boys — and talks around the island — and that he was experienced, that he knew how to please a girl. He had a reputation. And goddamn he didn’t disappoint. 

One of his hands left your breasts to slide down your stomach, slipping beneath the waistband of your panties to rub over your folds...which were slick with arousal. Rafe groaned. ''Fuck, you're already soaked.'' He rubbed slow circles over your clit, feeling how swollen it had gotten. ''Did you grind on that turtle of yours before I arrived? Turtles are an endangered species or some shit, can’t torture them like that.’’ 

A laugh bubbled out. ‘’Rafe…’’ 

‘’What?’’ 

‘’Don’t want you to make me laugh. Want you to fuck me,’’ you said, looking right into his blue eyes. 

Rafe raised an eyebrow, holding your gaze. ‘’You want my cock, babygirl? Want me to fill this pussy up real good?’’ His fingers dipped lower, teasing your entrance before pushing inside. 

Your walls clenched around him. 

‘’Rafe…’’ you whined again. 

‘’Okay, okay.’’ He kissed your jawline sweetly, then removed his hand from your panties and swiftly stripped them down your legs. ‘’Might keep these as a keepsake,’’ he joked, holding your lacy thong.  

If you hadn’t been so horny, you would have argued with him to get it back — you didn’t have many and you really liked this pair  —, but all you could think about was the beast in Rafe’s pants pounding into you and making you scream. He could get you on your fours like a dog or fold you like a little pretzel if he wished. 

You just needed him.

You reached for his belt and worked to unbuckle it, but Rafe pushed you back and told you to bend over your vanity. His request surprised you, but you complied. The cool air on your wet cunt made you shiver. You never tried that position before. 

You could hear the sound of Rafe undressing — the rustling of fabric, the undoing of a zipper and the clinking of his belt buckle on the floor. You wanted to look at him — at his cock, more precisely —, but he was already behind you, a hand on your back, making you lean down lower, and nudged your legs further apart. 

The air leaked out of your lungs in a squeaky rush when he pressed the tip, gently tearing through your tight walls. The sensation had you gripping the edge of your vanity. 

‘’You okay, baby?’’ he asked with genuine concern in his voice. 

You nodded. ‘’Y-yeah.’’ 

Once the first uncomfortable thrusts passed, you forgot about the initial pain and felt the pleasure flow through your body. Rafe gripped your hips tighter, fingers digging into your soft skin as he picked up pace. The vanity creaked, a rhythmic beat that matched your increasingly frantic movements.

Your tightness enveloped him like a vice as he pounded into you mercilessly. Christ, you felt incredible. Each deep stroke dragged a gasp from your lips, and he reveled in the sounds of pleasure you made.

''You feel so fucking good, baby,'' he grunted, gripping your hips and digging his fingers into your soft flesh. ''Is this what you wanted when you stole my number through Topper's phone? For me to fuck your tight cunt?'' 

Tears were pricking your eyes, your mouth hanging open while wanton sounds kept spilling out. ''Yes, Daddy!'' you uttered out.

The word slipped without noticing, sending a jolt straight to Rafe’s cock, making him throb inside you. ‘’That's it, baby,’’ he growled, even more turned on. ‘’Let Daddy know how much you love being fucked.’’

He pistoned into you harder, the force causing your breasts to bounce with each thrust. The obscene slapping of skin against skin echoed through the room, adding to the soundtrack of your other sounds. It looked like a scene straight from a spicy booktok romance.

Rafe brought a hand around your neck, forcing you to look up. “Look at yourself.”

You lifted your eyes to the reflection in the mirror. It was a view that was erotic. Seeing yourself nude and flushed along with him, and feeling it at the same time was nearly mesmerizing. The look on your face was hazy, strained, and blissful, eyes half-lidded and lips parted. You locked eyes with Rafe through the mirror, and he kissed below your ear.

Behind you, sweat was sticking to Rafe’s smooth chest, but he didn't slow down. He must have really good stamina. You locked eyes with him through the mirror, and he kissed below your ear. 

‘’Are we putting on a good show?’’ he asked, his voice hoarse and low. His words made your cunt clench around Rafe like a vice. He threw his head back with a groan, his whole body tightening. ''Fuck, you're gonna cut my blood flow if you keep squeezing me like that.''

You wanted to stop, but you couldn’t. You had lost all control of your body, gasping and clenching and rutting hard against Rafe until you came with a drawn-out moan. You shivered through your orgasm and Rafe's steady thrusts. 

When he started to shake, you swallowed hard and found your voice. ‘’Come on, Rafey. Fill me up. Cum deep in my pussy, Daddy!’’ 

That pushed him over the edge, his whole body spasming, cock forced all the way in and filling up the condom. Your chest heaving, trying to catch a breath as he rode out the high, grunts and groans leaving his lips. 

You've never heard anything sexier. 

When he was finished, Rafe pulled out and stepped back, leaving alone on your wobbly legs. You started to lose balance, and quickly grabbed the vanity's edge.

‘’Shit, you good?’’ Rafe asked, his tone hovering between concern and smug satisfaction.

You gave a small nod. You just needed to sit. 

His eyes scanned slowly down your body. ''Fucked you that good, uh?'' he said with a smirk, teasing. 

You shot him a playful glare, going to sit on your bed. ‘’Fuck you, Cameron.’’ 

Rafe laughed as he removed and tossed the condom in your trash. ‘’Just did, Princess.’’ 

God. Could he be more exasperating?

He checked on the way back, reading something that made him frown. ‘’Eh, I gotta go.’’

‘’Now?! We just fucked.’’ 

Although this was a casual fuck and that it’s usually how it ends, you didn’t want him to leave right after. You didn’t expect him to cuddle, but you had hoped he would stay a little. To talk or watch something on Netflix. 

Rafe dressed quickly, explaining that Wheezie needed to drive her to her friend’s house because Rose’s car was not starting. 

Before exiting your room, he called your name. ‘’You sound so pretty when you cum.''

Your cheeks flushed and you hid your face with a pillow. ''Rafe...'' 

The corners of his lips curved into a smug smile. He wasn’t done. ‘’Oh, and I liked when you called me Daddy. It's hot.''

—

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[muwapsturniolo]

𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐟💨 Matt sturniolo

“ did you just?”

✗ Awkward asf but realistic, NSFW, sex, mentions of queefing, secondhand embarrassment, that’s it me thinks.

You wanted the world to swallow you whole, you wanted to disappear.

You knew it was a semi-normal thing to happen, yet you were still embarrassed. It happened to most girls when having sex, although you never thought it would happen to you - It’s never happened to you until now.

Your legs were spread wide open, a pair of rough hands pushing the back of your knees on either side of your head - You were in heaven. “O-oh fuck Matt,'' he groaned in retaliation, his hips driving into you harder, the squelching of your essence filling the room.

Every once in a while, you noticed Matt would make a face, his hips stuttering. You didn’t know why, you figured he was just struggling not to cum quickly and paint your insides that shade of white that you both love.

You didn't think much of it, he always made faces when you two were having sex.

He was very expressive.

You were so lost in the pleasure Matt was providing you, you missed a specific sound that came from your body. When Matt suddenly stopped all movement, you were confused.

Why did he stop?

Did he cum already?

Why is he staring at you with wide eyes?

Did you accidentally call him daddy again?

All you two could do was stare at each other for a solid minute or so, before you finally spoke up.

“W-why did you stop?”

“I uh…d-did you just…”

Your brows furrow in confusion, did you what? What is he talking about?

“Did I what Matt?”

He stares at you silently, the only sound in the room being the both of you breathing harshly from the sexual escapades that had come to a halt.

“N-nothing, never mind.” He shakes his head as he tries to dismiss whatever he was talking about. You didn’t have the chance to interrogate him further, his hips resuming their actions.

However, he only got about five more pumps in before you finally heard it.

You were mortified, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you stare at him with wide eyes. He met your gaze, his eyes equally as big as his actions halted once more.

“Did you just far-No!” You quickly cut him off, your cheeks hot and your heart beating fast.

“It’s ok if you did…I mean, it doesn’t smell - Plus, I know you had dairy, and you’re lactose intolerant, so it makes sense.”

You could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, you couldn’t believe this is happening to you out of all people.

“Matt, I didn’t -'' you wave your hands around, hoping he would get the gist of what you were saying.

You didn’t know why you hated the word fart, maybe it was because your parents raised you to say ‘passed gas’, and the word fart was too cringy for you.

“You didn’t? Then what the hell was that?”

“I-I think I queefed I-I don’t know!" Matt could tell you were flustered, your tone becoming defensive. “Ok, ok! Just calm down!” He lowers your legs and rubs at your thighs for comfort, attempting to calm you down as he remains inside you.

After a few minutes of silence, he speaks up. “D-did you want me to keep going or…?” He trails off, unsure of what you want.

To be honest, the mood for both of you was somewhat ruined. He wouldn't be shocked if you told him to stop. Hell, he was sure you probably would hold off on having sex for a while after this as well.

Much to his surprise, you nodded.

“Y-yeah, yeah you can keep going.” You try to push the awkward tension away, hoping, praying, begging that you wouldn’t queef again.

He nods and begins to thrust softly once more. You were tense, anxious your body would do it again, but it didn’t. You allow yourself to relax, to feel the pleasure once more.

Matt sees this and picks up the pace, drawing out soft moans and mewls from you. Despite your orgasm dwindling from the first two times he had stopped his ministrations, it was quickly rebuilding itself.

Matt could tell, and he was determined to push you over the edge.

He grabs your leg and throws it over his shoulder, planting his hands on both sides of your head as he drives his cock deeper into your aching cunt. The sexual energy in the room was potent, the previous moment long forgotten as you both explored each other's bodies.

"Oh fuck m'close. Come on ba-"

It happened....Again.

“Ok ok stop!” You basically yell out. He stumbles back as you push him, his cock slipping out of you with a small pop, followed by even more air being released.

It sounded like a deflating balloon, almost like Donald Duck was in the room himself.

You were on the verge of tears, this was too embarrassing. It didn't help that Matt was smirking, biting his lip as he held back laughter.

"D-don't you dare say anything!" Matt raises his hands in surrender, backing up even more and moving to the other side of the room. You sigh and sit up slowly, hoping you wouldn't release anymore more air from your vaginal canal.

It didn't work.

You could feel the air passing through your folds, creating that wet farting noise - thanks to the bodily fluids you secreted- and making your folds ripple softly.

A soft snicker is heard, making your head dart to Matt. "Shut up! Don't laugh, it's not funny!" You shout as you throw a pillow at him. He cackles loudly, dodging the pillow at the same time.

"I'm sorry but it's funny! She's speaking to me!"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, "Mmcht, you're such a fucking boy." You mumble. You want to stand up and rush to the bathroom, but you didn't know if you could handle Matt's laughter at your excessive queefing.

"Get out."

"What? Baby come on, I'm sorry for laughing!"

"No, you're not. Now shut up and get out so I can go to the bathroom!" He holds back another round of laughter and slips on his boxers and sweatpants, quickly leaving the room and leaving you alone.

You waddle awkwardly to the bathroom, cringing every time another gush of air escapes you. As you stand in the bathroom, you quickly search up "How to get rid of queefs."

All you could find were multiple sources telling you there wasn't a way.

"Absolutely not, fuck this."

You try another search, " How to get rid of air down there."

Thankfully, you found an answer.

"Squatting down, especially while peeing, can help trapped air escape."

"This is great, but how the hell do you squat over a toilet without getting pee everywhere?" You mumble to yourself. You won't even deny it, your eyes dart over to the tub but you quickly dismiss that thought.

No way were you going to pop a squat and pee in your boyfriend's tub. You wouldn't hear the end of it.

You end up sitting backward on the toilet, your chest facing the lid as you do your best to squat.

Sure enough, you could feel the excess air release, echoing in the bathroom.

You finish up quickly, making sure to wipe and wash your hands before exiting the bathroom. As you walk out of the bathroom, you see Matt back in the room, sitting on his bed.

"Did you get that.... situated?" You roll your eyes and throw on your pajamas, laying back down on the bed. "You shut your damn mouth...And yes." He snickers softly and begins to situate himself between your legs, just as he always does.

The both of you sit in silence before he looks down at your clothed mound.

"So since you can speak, how do you fee-OW!" He winces as your hand comes down on the back of his head. He watches as you climb off the bed.

"Wait, where are you going?!"

"To Nick's room! At least he won't try to talk to my vagina as if it could talk back!"

He watches as you walk out the room, slamming the door in the process. He lays back down and chuckles to himself,

"I'm definitely changing her name in my phone to queef queen...maybe donald duck."

purrrrr im making this an awkward series! send in stuff that you would want to see!!!

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 6/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: im the worst I KNOW! It's just i kept trying to write this chapter like a million times and it never ended like I wanted to and seeing as I have a language barrier (cuz English isn't my first language if u didn't know haha) I was just being unsatisfied with the chapter, but I force my ass to sit down and write this down so i hope u like it!

Sigh...

Overthinking.

(Y/N) had never been good at not thinking too much. Ever since she was little, she always found herself trapped in her own mind, unraveling every last detail of any situation. Perhaps it came from her mother, who had an almost supernatural ability to turn the smallest into the biggest, the most trivial into something monumental. Her mother sowed doubts where there were none, and every little imperfection became a tragedy in her house. That had marked her way of being, of perceiving the world and, especially, the people around her.

She hated it. But, despite everything, she couldn't help it.

Lying on the bed, her eyes fixed on the white ceiling, she felt how the silence enveloped her, how it pressed on her shoulders, on her chest. A heavy, unbearable silence, like a blanket that drowned her. The thoughts did not cease, on the contrary, they intensified as time progressed, dragging her more and more towards the storm raging inside her.

Five days. Five long and exasperating days.

Since the last time she saw Jaehyun. The last time he'd been at her house at one in the morning, when everything had been so... strange. So full of heavy silences, elusive looks, and something on his face, something she couldn't explain. A look she had never seen before. As if it was charged with something, with a desperation so great that he didn't know how to share it. Something that was far beyond the tension of her argument with Mark Lee. Something dark, hidden in the depths of Jaehyun, that she couldn't quite grasp.

Worst of all, now, five days later, she knew nothing about him. The unanswered calls, the messages delivered but not read. She had tried to contact him so many times, but the frustration was just overflowing her.

What was going on? The uncertainty was worse than any answer she could receive. In her mind, questions swirled like a whirlwind. Was she the cause? Had she done something that had driven him away from her? Why had he left so abruptly after their encounter?

She remembered that night. That last shared moment. It had been so... intense. So close, so intimate. An instant of shared vulnerability that had allowed her to feel that, at last, she was connecting with him in a deeper way. But then he was gone. Without a word. Without a word, without a gesture to indicate that something else might be behind his departure.

Jaehyun's words kept echoing in her mind, over and over again. "You're the one that can keep me on track."

Those words stuck to her skin like an invisible mark. What did they really mean? Was it true what he had said? Was she the one who could keep him focused? She wanted to believe it, wanted to be that person for him. But deep down, a fear was creeping in. Was she just being a distraction for him? Was she simply the release valve, the temporary relief for the anguish he was feeling, only so that later he could lose himself in his own pain again?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She was confused, she didn't know what to do or what not to do. Should she go find him at Neo Zone? Or just wait for him to decide to show up? But, if Jaehyun decided not to... then what would she do?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sound of knocking on the door brought her out of her whirlwind of thoughts. She looked toward the door without moving a muscle, throat tight, stomach twisting. The last thing she wanted was to confront her mother, but the knock was persistent, as if someone had decided to break the silence of her room and force an interaction she didn't want.

But, despite the heaviness she felt inside, she got up. A slow, weary movement, as if she were walking through thick water. When she opened the door, she did not find what she expected, neither her mother, nor the inevitable argument. Instead, there he was.

"Daeho..." she murmured, her voice muffled, as if somehow his presence gave her back something she had lost in those days of constant overthinking.

It really had been a long time since they had last met face to face and to say it wasn't a surprise to her would be a total lie.

"Hey," he said, with a smile that didn't quite light up his face. "Can we just... hang?" he asked, scratching the back of his head as if it were weighing on him.

She nodded without another word, stepping aside for him to pass. As soon as he was through the door, Daeho plopped down on his bed unceremoniously, and (Y/N) mimicked him, lying down next to him quietly. They both stared at the ceiling, engulfed in the same silence that had filled their room before his arrival, though it felt somewhat less empty now.

It had been so long since they had shared a moment like this, a moment of simple companionship. She remembered the years when he had been her best friend, her inseparable companion, the only person she truly trusted within the family. But now, lying next to him, she felt as if she had a stranger by her side, someone who, despite all the shared memories, had fallen into a darkness from which she could no longer rescue him.

Daeho broke the silence, his voice soft but laden with an almost tangible weight. "How have you been?"

"I could be better," she replied, with a sincerity he understood without the need for details. He nodded, without looking at her, and went back to losing himself in the ceiling.

(Y/N) gaze strayed to him, and for the first time in a long time, she looked at him closely. His face seemed to have aged years in just a few months. His skin, paler than usual, was dotted with small imperfections that he once cared for with care. The dark circles under her eyes were deep, and her expression had an air of resignation that hurt to see. He sighed, swallowing the lump he felt in his throat.

It was ironic. The person she had grown up with, with whom she had shared so much, now felt like a stranger. She couldn't remember the exact moment when their friendship had changed, or how they got to this point. It had all happened so subtly, as if the words and gestures that had once bound them together had now lost their power. Perhaps time had eroded all that. Or maybe they simply didn't understand each other in the same way anymore.

A pang of pain shot through her. It wasn't just sadness she felt at seeing him like this, but also a pent-up rage, a helplessness that made her want to scream, to wonder at what point he had reached this point. How had he fallen so low?

Perhaps that moment had been from two years ago, when things had become a little darker in her family environment. When her aunt and uncle seemed unable to stop hurting his self-esteem again and again and again. Maybe it was since that gala when all eyes were on him, judging him, laughing at him, stalking him, waiting for him to make a simple mistake so they could point at him.

So they could tell him that he was not worthy of everything he had around him.

That he couldn't be as good as his father was.

That he was a mere spoiled child who deserved nothing.

Perhaps that was when it dawned on Daeho that he could never live up to the expectations he had to fill.

"Daeho..." she whispered, unable to keep the thought to herself alone. There was something heartbreaking about seeing how her cousin was losing himself, something that reached straight to her heart.

He closed his eyes, as if he knew what was coming, and remained silent, as if everything was in order.

"Why did we end up like this?" the question left his lips without meaning to. And as she uttered it, she felt a surge of pain run through her, as if that simple phrase was a reminder of how far away they were from each other.

Daeho closed his eyes for a few moments, as if trying to find an answer. Finally, he spoke, his voice muffled and distant.

"It's the only time I forget," he said, staring at the ceiling, not daring to look her in the eye. "When I do it, it's like I can stop thinking about everything."

"You're not forgetting," she asserted, "you're destroying yourself."

He let out a bitter laugh. "I don't think I'm doing it any more than they're destroying me," he said, his words hitting her with the force of a fist.

Silence filled the room again. She wanted to react, to scream at him, to convince him that he couldn't go on like this, but the words stuck in her throat. How to tell him that she could see him falling and could do nothing to stop it? How to make him understand that he was killing a part of himself?

"I can't keep watching you destroy yourself," he said at last, his voice trembling.

Daeho fell silent, and she felt a tide of memories rise up inside her. She remembered the years they had shared, the times when he was her refuge and she his, the days when nothing could separate them. Daeho had been more than a cousin; he had been her confidant, her best friend. To see him like this, consumed by something she could neither understand nor control, broke her heart.

"You don't have to," he replied softly, but the intensity of his words hit her hard.

(Y/N) wanted to laugh, a bitter, hurt laugh, but instead, she felt the lump in her throat grow larger.

"You said you'd quit it," she reminded him, almost in a sob.

Daeho turned his head toward her, and their eyes met for the first time that night. The look on his face was so devastated that she (Y/N) wished he hadn't looked at her.

"I can't," he admitted, his voice tinged with desperate honesty. "I've tried so many times, and each time...each time I realize I don't want to give it up. I know it's not what you want to hear, but...I'm in too deep. I don't know how to get out, even if I wanted to."

(Y/N) felt the pain in her chest become almost tangible. Seeing him like this, hearing those words, hurt in a way she could never have imagined.

"Why do things have to be like this?" she asked, feeling a lone tear fall down her cheek.

Daeho sighed, a long, exhausted sigh, and hid answer was so raw it seemed ripped from deep within him. "It's what I chose," he murmured. "It may not have been the best decision, but at least it was mine. It's the only thing I really decided for myself...without someone else telling me what to do, who to be. Even if it was for the worse."

She wanted to understand, wanted to see in his words something that would give her comfort, but she couldn't. She couldn't accept that someone who had once been so important to her had been lost like that.

"Don't let it drag you down," he said suddenly, his voice becoming firm. "I made my choices, (Y/N). But you...you have a life you can still build. I'm already too deep, but you...you have a lot ahead of you."

(Y/N) felt a mixture of anger and pain. She couldn't believe he was capable of telling her that, after all.

"You shouldn't keep seeing Jung Jaehyun," he added, in such a serious tone that it took her by surprise.

She looked at him, incredulous, the pain transforming into icy fury. "Get out of my room," he said, pointing to the door.

Daeho nodded, though not without a final sigh of resignation. "I just needed to tell you."

"Just go," she murmured, turning away from him.

He walked out quietly, leaving her in that loneliness that now seemed so much deeper, with the echo of his words echoing in the empty room.

Jaehyun knew it had been a chain of bad decisions and circumstances that had pushed him this far, but facing it was like tearing his skin off. He couldn't deny the truth: he hated everything around him, and he hated himself more than anyone else. His life, a maelstrom of regrets, had dragged him to this point, and try as he might, he could not escape that bitter mix of rage and hopelessness. Sometimes, in his darkest nights, he wished that everything would vanish into emptiness, that the weight of existing would finally disappear.

He wanted, with every fiber of his being, to close that circle.

"Ah, Jaehyun, always a pleasure to see you," Sooman said, leaning back in his chair with an icy, calculating smile, interlocking his hands with the false familiarity of one who controls the board.

Jaehyun felt the poison burn inside him. Disgust twisted his stomach, and that sneering smile of Sooman's only made his insides boil even more. He loathed the man with an intensity he could almost taste on his tongue. He faked a strained smile.

"I could say the same."

Fake it till you make it.

The thought passed fleetingly, and he tried to cling to it, but the hatred ate him.

"The last time we saw each other wasn't very pleasant," Sooman commented, dropping even more comfortably into his chair, as if enjoying the memory. Jaehyun's jaw immediately tensed. The memories of the beatings were still etched on his skin, and in his memory. Pain. Anger. Shame. All jumbled into a poisonous tangle. "That's why I want to make it up to you with a job."

Jaehyun could barely process that he was sitting there, across from Lee Sooman, listening to his offer, swallowing his disgust. He had heard everything Mark Lee had confessed, every word about the dark side of his boss that seemed to have no end. Deep down, all Jaehyun wanted was to make him pay, to see him suffer as he had seen his father, his Uncle Dong, Winwin suffer. Each of them had felt Sooman's merciless fist in their lives, and he was the last piece to fall.

Everything in him screamed to break the balance, to let the anger out. He wanted peace, but at the same time, he wanted to destroy everything.

The tension in Jaehyun's body increased. Make it up to him? The word felt like a taunt, but his voice was controlled, cold.

"What's this about?" asked Jaehyun, exhaling a sigh, as if by releasing the air he could release some of the weight in his chest.

Sooman smiled, with twisted satisfaction, and pulled his chair closer to the desk. "You see, in three weeks I have a trade. Trouble is, I don't want to, nor do I plan to, do it alone. I could take Cheol Uk with me, but I'd rather have him stay here, on this side of the pond...in case things get complicated," he explained, crossing his arms with the arrogant assurance of one who knows he controls all the strings. "And I think you'd be perfect company."

"What kind of exchange?" asked Jaehyun, though deep down he already sensed the answer.

"Weapons."

The shock of that word fell on him like a brick, a weight he couldn't shake. Jaehyun felt his body stiffen. He'd been in dangerous situations before, he'd played with fire and survived, he was a dealer in Neo Zone. But he knew that accepting that would mean crossing an invisible and final line. He would be transformed into someone even more embroiled in the chaos of the gang, with his hands stained with something he could never wash off.

It was hard to resist, but it was just as hard to accept.

"It'll be quick," Sooman continued, studying Jaehyun's every gesture like a predator watching its prey. "Just outside the city. If all goes well, it won't take more than an hour." he noticed the tension in Jaehyun's gaze, the hesitation he was struggling to keep hidden, and leaned toward him slightly. "I'm asking you because I trust you."

The words fell like a taunt. Jaehyun felt his blood boil, how his skin almost throbbed from pent up rage. His right hand clenched into a fist on his leg, trying to restrain the urge to get up and smash something, anything that would allow him to release what was burning inside him. How dare Sooman speak of trust, to pretend there was anything sincere between them? After all the damage he had sown around him?

But what choice did he have left? Deep down, Sooman's control was absolute.

"What's the pay?"

"Enough to cover six months of your friend's rehab," Sooman replied, his eyes locking on Jaehyun's, pressing right where he knew it hurt.

The mention of rehab was the final piece that fell, sealing his fate. Above all else, he needed the money. Above all else, there was someone else needing to get out of hell, and he couldn't let it drop. He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing the pain that mingled with anger and despair.

"I'll do it."

"I knew you wouldn't fail me," Sooman replied, satisfied, with a smile that seemed tainted with venom. "You are just like your father. My trust is in you, Jaehyun."

Jaehyun nodded, feeling the knot in his chest tighten, choking him.

Fake it till you make it.

Roll on, light it up, inhale, exhale.

Roll on, inhale, exhale.

Inhale... exhale.

Inhale.

One, two... three.

Exhale.

Jaehyun coughed loudly as he passed the joint to Lucas, who with shrunken, red eyes took it in his hands without hesitation, taking a puff to hold the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds and slowly draw it out.

In front of them was the panoramic view of SM City, the prominent lights of the northern area made the southern area look small, even though from a distance they didn't seem to be so far apart... so different.

If only that were the case.

"You know you don't have to do it," Lucas muttered, exhaling one last puff of smoke before dropping the cigarette to the ground and crushing it with the toe of his shoe. His gaze, fixed on the ground, hid the trace of worry in his eyes.

Jaehyun continued to stare at the lights of the city, each bright spot fading into the distance, like the possibilities he once had and now seemed to be extinguished. His voice came out almost as a whisper, broken and strained. "It's six months of treatment, Lucas. "Winwin... Winwin has started to move his hand. It's a little acomplishment, I know. But it's a step, and I can't... I can't let that stop now." Each word was an effort, a confession that, deep down, that small breakthrough gave him a hope that felt forbidden in his life.

Lucas was silent for a few seconds, watching Jaehyun's profile, his rigid posture and the shadow of weariness in his gaze. "I thought you didn't want to do anything related to Sooman."

Jaehyun swallowed saliva. He thought so too. He had tried to escape Sooman's influence, that world that brought only destruction, but reality always caught up with him. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and sketched a bitter smile, one that barely disguised the lump forming in his throat.

"I thought so too, but you and Mark have said so, haven't you? If I try to do anything about it, not a week goes by before I'm found with a bullet in my head." His voice cracked in bitterness. "Tell me, what other choice do I have?"

Lucas let out a deep sigh, as if searching for the words amidst a cloud of dark thoughts. Then his voice was firm and determined. "I'll do it."

Jaehyun turned his head in surprise and looked directly at him. His eyes, reddened with fatigue and smoke, met his friend's. Then he let out a dry laugh, without a hint of mirth, and patted him on the back.

"Jaehyun." The name left Lucas' lips grimly, stopping him in his tracks. "I know we've said all our lives that the only one who had a chance of getting out of this shit was Winwin...but we know he's not the only one. Maybe I'm not smart enough, but I know you are. You could go to college, get away from all this. You're good at math, you're good at sports... You've got something out there, something worth more than I could ever have." Lucas looked at him with almost desperate seriousness. "Let me make the trade for you. You've got a lot more to lose."

His friend's words hit him like a truth he had tried to ignore. He pondered them silently, letting each one settle in his mind. He appreciated Lucas' attempt, his desperate proposal to sacrifice his own life to protect him, but he knew he could not allow it.

With an effort, he kept his voice steady, even though he felt each word plunging him deeper into his own emptiness. "I appreciate your... nobility, dude. But I will not let you risk your life to save mine. That's not something I can accept."

Lucas exhaled sharply, frustrated. His words came out cutting, in a last-ditch attempt to talk some sense into him. "Do you want to end up like your father, like Uncle Dong?" The mention of both names made Jaehyun tense, his fists clenching tightly until his knuckles turned white.

Jaehyun didn't respond. He turned around and started walking towards his car, trying to stifle the anger and pain boiling inside him. He could hear Luke's footsteps following him, the echoes of his words echoing in his head.

"We know I'll end up like that someday..." he muttered, without turning around. The resignation in his voice was a shock to both him and his friend.

But then, Lucas said something that forced him to stop, "What about (Y/N)?"

The name made his whole body freeze, (Y/N). He could see her in his mind, feel the warmth of her laughter, the twinkle in her eyes. She was the only light in the midst of his darkness, the only memory he dared to cherish in his loneliest moments. Inside him, where no one else could see him, was where he allowed her to exist, a longing he would never dare to confess.

"There is nothing with her." His voice was a harsh whisper, as if in saying it he was tearing out a piece of himself. He didn't even turn, just let it escape into the wind. "There can't be."

"I thought you were having something," Lucas confessed, stepping closer to stand in front of him, forcing him to look at him. "Maybe you can't see it, but anyone would notice. You don't have to say it, Jaehyun. It shows in your eyes every time you talk about her. You want something with her, anything. You're going to risk that by getting more into this shit?" Lucas waved his hand, almost unable to control himself. "We were doing relatively well selling those packages. At least we could pay for Winwin's treatment. But now... Weapons? What will they ask you to do next? Assaults? Robberies?" his voice deepened, and Jaehyun noticed the fear in his eyes. "Kills? Do you think (Y/N) would want to see you in that hell?"

Jaehyun closed his eyes and took a breath. Lucas' words drilled into him, burned inside him, but he couldn't accept them. He couldn't accept a possibility that he knew would end up hurting (Y/N).

Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at Lucas directly, with a forced coldness that tried to hide the storm inside him. "And what do you want me to do, Lucas? She doesn't deserve a life like mine. She needs to be away from all this...away from me. I could only drag her into this hole from which there is no way out." The words came out fast, almost angrily, but at the end his voice cracked. "I can't offer her anything, do you understand? Nothing worthwhile."

Lucas lowered his gaze, but his voice still reflected desperation to save him. "But you have something to offer, Jaehyun. Your life. A life that can still go somewhere, that can be something different." She looked at him pleadingly. "Don't make the trade. Don't get yourself into this anymore. You have a way out, even if you don't want to see it."

Jaehyun's decision was like a stone inside him, a sinking certainty, but it was the only thing that gave him stability at the moment. He averted his gaze to the city lights and quietly sealed his fate.

"I have to do it." The determination in his voice was unwavering. "It's already decided."

Lucas watched him silently, with a sadness so deep it was almost palpable. He knew, deep inside him, that he was losing another friend. The night closed in around them and under the stars, as the lights of the city shone in the distance, he knew that, in some sense, he had already lost his friend.

When (Y/N) got out of Jungwoo's car, the roars of the engines echoed in her ears, but despite the noise, her mind was somewhere else, anchored in a memory. The first time she set foot in Neo Zone, it had been a curiosity, an adventure she didn't fully understand. Now, that same place seemed just as intimidating, but different. This time she was not an outsider spectator. This time, she was there for him.

People's gazes were instantly fixed on her. Some with curiosity, others with disdain. The gleam in her eyes was not the same as those of the "normals" around her in her world. No, here the gazes were sharper, like knives, trying to strip her of her essence, her privilege. She felt out of place, and though in some corner of her mind she knew she would never be part of this world, at that moment all she cared about was finding him. Jaehyun.

The lights of the cars reflected the tense and charged atmosphere of the race track, where the local gangs came to show off their cars and gamble more than they should. She knew what she was up against, and if she had learned anything over the past few months, it was that, in that place, the rules were few, but fierce.

So she wasn't surprised when a familiar and unpleasant face emerged from the crowd. Chris, with that sly grin, who always seemed to have a second purpose behind every word.

"Well, look what we have here," he said, his voice laden with derision. "After Johnny's party, I didn't expect you to be one od Jaehyun's toys."

( Y/N) tried to keep her cool, her body rigid and her gaze steady. There was something about that guy that always made her feel small, as if his words were thorns thrown on purpose. But she had no time for games now. She wasn't here to confront Chris, only to find Jaehyun. "Let me through, Chris," she said, her voice cold, firm.

But he didn't let her go so easily. He stepped between her and the pass, and his hand brazenly strayed to her waist. A touch she didn't ask for, a brush she didn't want.

"Oh no, baby," he said, his tone low, like a challenge. "I think you owe me a debt for that punch you gave me, remember?"

( Y/N) she felt irritation bubbling inside her, but she wasn't going to lose her composure. Not here, not now. But she wasn't going to give in either. "Let go of me, or I swear I'll hit you again," she retorted, pushing lightly against his chest, hands firm. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was what she had to do. She wasn't going to let Chris touch her.

Chris laughed, but it wasn't a genuine laugh. It was mocking, calculating, as if he enjoyed the power he thought he had over her. "Can you imagine what Jaehyun will think when he sees me with one of his toys?" The malice in his voice left no room for doubt. He knew what he was doing, and he knew he had something he could use against her.

( Y/N) didn't answer right away. Her gaze wandered, searching through the crowd, and there, like a magnet, she found him. Jaehyun. He was far away, but she could feel the intensity of his gaze, the weight of his presence. And it wasn't just any glimpse, no. She knew she had seen him. His posture was rigid, his face annoyed, his eyes burning with a silent fire.

"Turn around to find out for yourself," Jaehyun said, his deep voice cutting through the air. It was not a suggestion. It was an order, firm, authoritative. At that moment, the threat was clear. "Let her go and get the fuck out of herr if you don't want that fucking smile wiped off your face. Remember, you're in my zone."

Chris hesitated for a second, then let go of (Y/N), as if Jaehyun's presence was a steel wall repelling him. Looking at Jaehyun as if he would challenge him, but knowing that this was not his territory. Jaehyun's area, yes, but not his.

Before walking away, however, he couldn't help but throw one last malice-laden glance towards (Y/N). "Call me when you get tired of him, gorgeous," he said venomously, not caring that his words were only empty provocation.

When Chris finally disappeared into the crowd, (Y/N) didn't hesitate for a second. He walked straight towards Jaehyun, until she was right behind him, the sound of his footsteps drowned out by the bustle of the arena. Feeling his presence so close gave her a strange sense of calm, but also aroused an uneasiness she didn't know how to handle.

Jaehyun turned slowly toward her. His expression was hard to read, but the frustration was evident. As always, he was trying to maintain control, but he couldn't hide the annoyance. In one swift movement, he grabbed her wrist, holding it firmly, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, anger tinged with palpable discomfort. His tone was low, dangerous. He wasn't saying it out loud for all to hear, but it was as if his words cut through the air between them.

( Y/N) felt a knot in her stomach. The worry, the confusion, the need to explain herself, but also the frustration of knowing that she had no right to be there, that this world was not hers. However, she could not lie. "I was looking for you," she said, without thinking, without fear of what that might mean.

"You weren't answering my calls. I wanted to know how you were..." she confessed, feeling Jaehyun pull her gently through the crowd to get her away from the people.

Finally, after pushing through the sea of people, they found themselves in a quieter corner. Jaehyun let go of her hand and turned to face her.

It was at that moment that he saw the pain reflected in her eyes. The girl, her gaze fixed on him, fiddled nervously with her fingers, as if trying to calm her anxiety.

"(Y/N), I'm fine. You didn't have to come and get into this," he told her in a low voice.

"You could have answered my calls," she demanded, her voice strained. "I didn't know how you were after what happened at my house almost a week ago."

Jaehyun looked her straight in the eye and slowly denied.

"That night I shouldn't have gone to your house."

What...?

"What are you talking about, Jaehyun?" she asked, almost in a whisper, surprised by those words.

Because deep down he knew he was right. That night he shouldn't have crossed that line, shouldn't have sought comfort from her, shouldn't have allowed the girl to sneak into his head and heart like that. He should not have allowed the closeness between them to make him vulnerable.

He shouldn't have thought he deserved something like that.

Because he didn't. He never would.

"Why is it that every time we seem to be moving forward, you decide to pull back?" she asked him, her voice breaking.

"Because there shouldn't be an us, (Y/N)," Jaehyun replied, serious, as if the words hurt him as much as they hurt her. "And you know it."

She tried to process what she had just heard, but her mind was still spinning, entwined with thoughts that wouldn't leave her alone. Coming here, meeting him...it had all been a whirlwind. Her cousin's words that morning still echoed in her mind.

That was not what she had expected to hear from Jaehyun.

"No, Jaehyun. I don't know," she said, frustrated, her eyes flashing with a mixture of confusion and anger. "All I know is that there's something inside me that binds me to you. I always end up looking for something in you, something I don't understand. And the least I understand is that you somehow get close and then walk away like it's nothing."

She moved closer to him and, with a trembling finger, pressed it against his chest, accusingly.

"If I walk away it's because you don't need this life, (Y/N)," he told her, with a painful tenderness in his voice. "I can't give you the life you want."

"I'm not asking you for anything extraordinary, Jaehyun," she replied, almost begging for him to understand. "I'm not asking you for more than what we already are."

Jaehyun looked at her, searching her eyes as if he wanted her to understand something beyond words. With the distance between them so short that their breaths were intertwined, he continued with a sigh.

"But look at me, (Y/N), look at us," he said softly. "I'll never be able to offer you the life you're used to. And I don't want you to get used to mine, because it's not something you deserve." Her voice deepened. "You don't know what it's like to live with necessities, without luxuries. It's not something I can ask you to change or sacrifice for me."

She bit her lower lip, trying to take in what she had just heard.

She was silent for a few seconds, biting her lower lip as her mind tried to process every word Jaehyun had just said. Her chest felt tight, as if his words were a weight on her, an uncomfortable truth that hurt, but one she knew she couldn't ignore.

Jaehyun closed his eyes.

"No, I don't," she finally admitted, looking down at the floor. "I don't know what it's like to live with those hardships..."

Silence fell between them again. The distant murmur of people seemed to grow farther and farther away, as if the world around them was fading away.

"(Y/N), you deserve better than this. Something more... something more stable. I can't be that something for you," Jaehyun said, his voice trembling for an instant.

She realized what he meant. She knew it wasn't just about the material. She knew that what Jaehyun was telling her went beyond external difficulties. He didn't want to be a risk to her, didn't want her life to be dragged down by the uncertainty, by the confusion he himself felt.

"And yet... I can't stop looking for you," she murmured, with a sad, almost defeated smile. "I don't understand what's wrong with me, Jaehyun. I don't understand why everything seems clearer when I'm around you, but then it blurs, it becomes all so confusing."

Jaehyun watched her, unable to find the right words. All he knew was that there was an undeniable connection between them, something even he couldn't explain. But, at the same time, he couldn't deny the fear he felt that this connection would drag them into something neither of them could control.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, his words sounding almost like an apology to himself. "I really am sorry."

She stared at him, as if she expected him to say something else, something that might make sense of everything she felt. But he didn't. Instead, the air between them was filled with a quiet awkwardness.

"So what do we do now?" she asked, voice cracking, but determined not to give up.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, staring ahead as if searching for some answer in the void. "I don't know. But I need you to understand that I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to end up trapped in my world..."

She denied slowly, not looking away. "So is that it, then, we're just going to keep taking a step forward and then step back? Is that what you want?"

"It's not that," Jaehyun replied, somewhat at a loss. "It's just that I can't offer you what you deserve."

"What about what I want?" she said, on an impulse that surprised her. "Because all I want...is to be with you."

Her words hit him hard. Jaehyun couldn't say he felt the same way, not in the same way. But he couldn't help but think that, maybe, if they both allowed themselves to take that leap... maybe things could be different.

"I'm telling you that I can't give you what you want," he repeated, now with a slight desperation in his tone. "And yet, I feel like I can't walk away from you."

She looked at him silently for a few seconds, trying to find some answer that wouldn't leave her more confused. Finally, she took a step back, letting the air between them grow colder.

"So... what do we do, Jaehyun?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Because I don't know if I can keep waiting for something I don't know if it's coming."

Jaehyun looked at her, his heart pounding. He could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke him inside. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't drag her down with him, couldn't ask her to settle for something he couldn't offer.

"The only thing I can do now...is tell you the truth," he said, almost breathlessly. "I'm not going to drag you into my life without you knowing what you're getting into."

She stood still, staring at the floor, as if processing every word. An invisible weight seemed to fall on her shoulders, and though her thoughts were chaotic, a small part of her knew she had to make a decision.

"So, you decide for me?" she asked, raising her head, her eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and sadness.

Jaehyun said nothing. His silence was answer enough.

Finally, Jaehyun, his throat tightening, slowly pulled away, knowing that any further attempts to get closer would only cause more pain. "I'm sorry," he said one last time, almost as a whisper, and took a step back.

And (Y/N) watched him walk away, her heart heavy, knowing there was nothing more to do. She stood alone in that dark corner of Neo Zone, with the noise of the engines rumbling around her, like a distant echo of the emotional storm she had just experienced.

a/n: I hope you liked even though in took me weeeeeeks to post hahaha, love y'all! NOT PROOFREAD! I’ve been sitting down like 4 hours trying to come with the chapter so now I’ll go to sleep 😴.

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholovespreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae @beomgyusonlywife @bts-iris @doejaejung @methneo @kriizztin @mrsuhnshine @pieddpiperr (idk why some of the tags just don’t work out!)

If you want to ask me something, feel free to send them!

[emilynyaesmp]

Ok so heres my idea for the “does everyone remember the life series or is it just the winners?” Debate/theory

Everyone remembers small bits of the seasons but only the winners and the canary remembers the seasons in their entirety (unless they didn’t die first in a season).

Why does the canary remember it? Well, the watchers feed off of negativity, right? So they’d want the canary to remember that they’ve died first again and again and again, over and over and over again and that this time is no different. So Jimmy remembers past seasons, all except Secret Life because Lizzie was out first.

Speaking of Lizzie, let’s explain her. In her newest episode she mentions “when I invite people to things, they don’t show up”, she mentions Secret Life, she actually talks about her failed birthday party but since neither Scar nor Jimmy even went to it (or heard of it, i think??? Idk I don’t watch their POV’s) they don’t really react, Jimmy, because he wasn’t the canary that season and he CERTAINLY wasn’t a winner and because his seabling’s birthday party was so insignificant to his POV, he doesn’t remember it, Scar, although he remembers SL since he’s a winner now, didn’t even hear of it (if he had I think he’d have gone but idk, correct me if I’m wrong) so he doesn’t react. As for Last Life, Lizzie remembers just as much as a loser would, since she’s not a winner or a canary in Last Life.

Basically, if ur a loser but not the canary, you only remember small glimpses of the past life games. like Lizzie for instance would only remember her teammates in LL, what happened when she was the boogie, the Big-b betrayal, Cleo leaving, basically any big event in her POV, but nothing more. Which is why she says “I feel safe with you guys” around Cleo, because she doesn’t properly remember what Cleo did, she remembers the fire, just vaguely. (Though I think she’d say that anyway, but that might just be my shadowrot shipping mind talking).

This even explains the Flower Husband stuff. Scott’s a winner, the first season, the last one before he won, was 3rd life, the season Jimmy was his husband. He’s attached to that (Jimmy is too guys TRUST 🙏🙏), he knows Jimmy remembers and he wants him to at least acknowledge that they loved eachother, that they were married, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because it hurts to much to remember, because he’s worried of dying first again, because if he dies first, he’d leave Scott alone again and he doesn’t want that. (Flower husbands is canon guys!! Please!! I’m desperate!!)

Jimmy acts a bit careless this season, dying to a creeper even though like five seconds before he was laughing about how close he was to dying, he didn’t take it seriously, not until then I don’t think. For the rest of that session Jimmy is terrified that he’ll die, he’s paranoid and worries any time anything remotely dangerous comes near him. Before that session, before episode 3, i think Jimmy was completely convinced that the canary curse was gone, he believed it with his whole heart, because, well, last season he came third! Third! That’s the best he’s ever done! And what’s this new season? Wild life, where anything can happen, and they all have six lives, so it’s not like Last Life were he was given 2 lives, this time he has a chance!

Uh, yeah that’s basically my theory/idea. Also, for Cleo, since RL wasn’t a season and just one episode she only remembers the entirety of RL but the other seasons is just what a loser would remember.

[vickytaa]

Music keeps me alive. M.S. Chapter II

summery: y/n's father passed away, and she moved to Boston to finish school. She always keeps her headphones on, only she knows the reason why. What happens when she meets Matt?

Chapter I

As she arrived home, her mind couldn't stop thinking about how lucky she was to have met such kind people as Nick and Anna. She had only spoken to them for a short time, yes, but the fact that they had taken the initiative to approach her when she was alone and had continued the conversation until there was no more time was an act that would undoubtedly remain etched in her memory.

Her mother wasn't home yet, as her new job started at the same time y/n got out of school. Because of that, y/n walked to the kitchen, grabbed a piece of fruit, and returned to the living room. Without hesitation, she grabbed the TV remote, searched for Spotify, and played her favorite playlist. It was moments like these that she loved to enjoy some jazz while doing homework, reading a book, or simply enjoying some alone time to think.

The windows were shut, all the lights in the house were off, the only light visible was that coming from the fireplace in front of the armchair. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, the vibrations of the music filling her ears. Everything was perfect... well, almost everything. Y/n had always loved being alone, since she never had anyone to show her the beauty of the moment, or anyone to share it with. Why has this changed now? Should it change? It wasn't necessary, she'd always enjoyed being like this. Y/n thought as the hours ticked by.

After a long time of pondering, Y/n realized it was quite late, so she decided to skip dinner and go straight to sleep. She went to her bed, after putting on her pajamas, and closed her eyes to drift off into a long, deep sleep.

The next morning, Y/n got up as usual, got dressed, ate breakfast, packed her backpack, and got ready for school. "You look very happy, honey. It's so nice that you're enjoying going back to school," her mother said. " Thanks, Mom, Nick and Anna seem like really good people and I'm so glad I met them," Y/n smiled. Her mother returned the smile and hugged her tightly. They said goodbye and Y/n started her journey to school.

On the way, thinking to herself and listening to music, she realized her mother was right. She felt happier herself the day she came back from her first day of school. But this had just started, and it was too early to say that she already liked going as much as when she was little, but you never know.

While swapping a few things in her locker and backpack, Y/n felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned around and quickly noticed Nick and Anna standing beside her, and a little further back were Matt and Chris. Y/n took out her headphones and let them hang around her neck. "Good morning, ready for your second day?" Nick asked with his usual kind and welcoming smile. Y/n simply nodded, closed her locker, and started a conversation with the four kids beside her, about some rather irrelevant topic.

Whenever Y/n spoke, she felt everyone's eyes on her, but Matt's were the most noticeable. He looked at her as if he were really listening, paying attention to every detail, every movement. And she also noticed that her cheeks were getting redder and redder, but luckily it seemed like no one had noticed, least of all Matt.

The five of them entered the classroom and sat in their respective seats, except Y/n who switched places with another boy to be closer to her new friends. The class went by normally for everyone, except Matt. Just like yesterday, he was distracted by the figure with straight hair and headphones in front of him, because the seat she had found was right in front of him. Luckily, no one noticed, or so he thought. "Matt, you're going to look obsessed with Y/n if you keep staring at her like that," Chris whispered in his ear. Matt just looked at him with a serious look, as if telling him to shut up. Chris chuckled lightly and went back to paying attention to the class.

“And you will have to form groups of five members to present the first big project of the year," Professor Thomas dictated. And suddenly, Y/n felt four heads turn to look at her, who was thinking about what she was going to do because she didn't know if they were really going to invite her. She was about to stand up to ask the professor if she could do it alone when she heard a deep but soft voice call her name. "Yes?" she asked. "Do you want to... maybe do the project with us?" Matt asked, clearly nervous, but she was too. It was the first time she had heard his voice, and damn, she was going to remember that voice, it was unmatched, its tone of kindness and gentleness, its softness and feelings, all in a simple voice.

She quickly accepted and sat back down at her desk, this time turning around to face her classmates. "If you want, you can come to our house today, my mom will be there and she can make us some snacks," Nick suggested. Anna and Y/n quickly agreed. Y/n's eyes quickly met Matt's and for a second she could swear she couldn't breathe. Her cheeks were burning, and the air was stuck in her throat. It was such an intimate moment, between the two of them, and public at the same time, since everyone could see. Her heart started beating faster, but all she did was smile. Matt quickly returned the smile, and they stayed that way for a few seconds that felt like years, studying each other, without caring about anyone else, just the two of them.

Their little moment was interrupted by Nick and Chris's shouts as they fought over who knew what Mom was going to cook when they arrived. "You don't even know if she's going to cook," Matt said, interrupting their fight. "Don't get involved, Matt," Chris said and went back to arguing with Nick, causing Matt and Y/n to laugh.

Later that day, Y/n sent a message to her mom saying she was going to hang out at Nick's house. It was the first time she was going to someone's house who wasn't family or a friend of her parents. And she was very nervous, it was a little noticeable. The five of them walked to the brothers' house and when they entered, they left their backpacks, Chris and Nick went straight to the kitchen to see what Mom had cooked, while Anna went to the bathroom, leaving Y/n and Matt alone for the first time. "Why are you nervous?" Matt asked, he didn't know Y/n, so he didn't know why she was nervous. "It's the first time I've been to a friend's house," Y/n confessed. As I said before, she never had friends, so this moment was very special to her. "Were your parents that strict?" Matt asked, trying not to sound too surprised, because he was, and Y/n was 17 years old and had never been to any friend's house before, which seemed strange to him. "No, they always let me go wherever I wanted, I just... never had... friends." Y/n said, so low it was almost like a whisper. She had never said it out loud, that's why she was 'ashamed'. Being 17 and having 0 friends was something she felt very ashamed of, not because she thought she was a bad person, she just wasn't very outgoing, or it was really because the place where she grew up didn't let her make friends because of how toxic it was. "I- Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Matt started to say nervously, his words overlapped and his ideas crossed. "Don't worry, I'm so grateful to have met you." Y/n smiled at him and the knot of ideas in Matt's head was undone just by seeing her smile. He returned it and once again they stayed like that for a few seconds, the outside world didn't matter anymore than the two of them. Matt looked at Y/n's lips and then back at her eyes, he wanted to kiss her, and it showed, but he couldn't, they had just met. Y/n noticed and did the same, this time she looked at his lips a little longer than he did. The tension in the air could be felt, and they both felt this push towards each other. "Matt, Y/n!! Come to the living room!!" They both heard Chris shout.

Once there, they started taking out their folders and Nick brought his computer. "Okay, so we have to do a presentation on some monument and recreate it," Nick said. "Uh, I have an idea, what if we do the Statue of Liberty?" Chris suggested, "But so many people are going to do it for sure," Anna said. "Yeah, Anna's right, what about Christ the Redeemer in Brazil?" Nick said, "I don't know, I think we should do something with more history behind it, what do you think?" Matt asked. Everyone nodded and thought. "What if we do the monument at the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park? I think the story is very interesting, I was reading a book about a survivor and it's very moving..." Y/n said but stopped when she saw that everyone was looking at her with a smile on their faces. "Um, is everything okay?" she asked nervously. "If you want, we can do something else..." She couldn't stop talking from nervousness, plus no one was saying anything and everyone looking at her made her even more nervous. "It's a great idea!" Nick said happily. And so, they all started thinking about how they were going to do it, what they were going to say, among other things.

After a long time working, they decided to relax a bit and play board games, as well as chat and chat for hours. They laughed a lot and shared a lot of stories, everyone listening to the other when they spoke. Y/n felt very happy, too much, and comfortable, being there, despite not knowing anyone well enough, she felt like she had known them for years.

At one point, Y/n looked at her watch to realize that it had gotten quite late, and walking alone in a new neighborhood at night... let's just say it wasn't a good idea. Matt noticed her worried face and asked, "Everything okay?" Y/n's gaze traveled from the clock to Matt's eyes, "Yes, it's just a bit late and I don't know if I can walk alone at this time..." "I can take you" Matt said, this took her by surprise, 'being alone with Matt always became... weird' she thought. But she also wanted to spend more time alone with him because she found him an interesting person. "No, it's okay, really" "Guys, I'm going to take Y/n home and I'll be right back" Matt announced. Y/n said goodbye to everyone and headed to the door where Matt was waiting for her. They went outside and got into the car, Matt opened the door for her and quickly ran to his. "Thank you, really, you didn't have to" Y/n said, a little embarrassed. "Don't worry, it's nothing to me. Besides, I want to have some alone time with you to get to know you better," Matt said, looking into Y/n's eyes and they stayed looking at each other again. "Uh, I think we should go" Matt said, interrupting the comfortable silence that invaded the car.

Y/n turned on the radio, as she hadn't listened to so much music all day and already felt like something was missing. "And now we'll be playing 'There's a light that never goes out' by The Smiths" the radio voice announced. "Uh, that's a good song" Y/n said and started turning up the volume. "Do you like The Smiths?" Matt asked, looking at her. "I love them" Y/n replied. The song started and they both began to sing along to it. "And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die" They both laughed and sang along with the song.

When they arrived, Matt got out again to open the door for Y/n, who thanked him and hugged him without warning, which took Matt by surprise, but he quickly wrapped his long arms around her waist and squeezed her gently. "Thank you for bringing me back." Y/n thanked him, pulling away a little to say goodbye and go into her house. Matt just smiled and watched her go into her house. His heart was beating very fast and happiness overflowed from his face.

V: Uhh I can feel the tension building 👀

Masterlist:))

[starsneverdiewritings]

Versace On The Floor - A Hwang Hyunjin Fanfic

✪ Genre: Fluff, Smut, Vampire AU ✪ Warnings: Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Reader is Female ✪ Characters: Hwang Hyunjin (Stray Kids), Original Female Character, First-person POV ✪ Word Count: 6.9k

“I thought I was a fool for no one, oh baby, I'm a fool for you” - Supermassive Black Hole, Muse

It starts with a gift. It ends with a secret. Hyunjin reveals himself to you at the annual party at your mansion. What you learn will shock you, in the best way.

A present. That’s all it was. A gift from your secret admirer. Who was this? You had no clue. It could be any of your close friends and while you had a hunch about where the random and, well, expensive gifts were from, you didn’t have any concrete evidence on who was buying you these things.

It started when a replacement bottle of your Gucci perfume showed up on your vanity conveniently just as you were about to run out of your original bottle. It’s not like you couldn’t buy another one, but finding it there was so… odd. You had asked all of your friends if they had left a bottle at your place, but each responded that they didn’t wear that scent or brand. Then, it was a pair of earrings you had been eyeing for a few weeks online. Instead of pulling the trigger on the Louis Vuitton website and just ordering them, you had been going back and forth about whether you really needed another pair. After a week of debating, you woke up to them on your bedside table. While it had scared you that someone had been in your room while you were sleeping, you ultimately figured that it had to be one of your male friends. They all came and went as they pleased, the house big enough, and lonely enough, that you welcomed their company. Some days you would wake up and walk down the hallway towards the smell of breakfast being made. On other days, you would find one (or three) of them sprawled out on the couch sleeping off a hangover.

Today’s gift was by far your favorite. You walked into your room from your shower to find a light blue evening gown hanging from the display section of your wardrobe, the black dress you had already laid out returned to its original spot in your closet. The note under it read ‘Wear Me’ in a messy script. You silently cursed the fact that you had, one, never seen any of your male friends’ handwriting, and, two, couldn’t get a lead on who the hell was leaving you these gifts. At any rate, you were never one to let a good dress go to waste. You ran the material between your fingers, inspecting the dress carefully. That’s when you noticed it. There, holding the strap on the right shoulder together was a silver emblem. You stepped closer, your mouth dropping in surprise when you recognized the design.

Who the fuck bought you a Versace dress?

Your mind spiraled. It wasn’t like you didn’t have nice dresses, but this, this was too much. You had to find out who was leaving you these gifts. The party tonight would be an opportunity to grill every male friend you had. You sat down at your vanity and planned out how you were going to get to the bottom of this. The party was a tradition, something you had grown up knowing. The family estate hosted it annually and people from all across the world would come. When you were seven, you met a girl at the party. Her name was Leena and she told you she was from Russia. You spent all night with her, but in the morning she was gone. You remembered crying to your mother about missing your friend and your mother explaining to you that she had to go home. Now that you had grown, you didn’t make new friends at the party despite all of the attendees being your age. When you were about sixteen, you started to notice that anyone over twenty-five stopped coming to the party and there was no one younger than you there. When you asked one of the staff about it, they gave you a small smile and said that everyone else was busy. Not questioning the circumstances anymore, you threw yourself into the party every year since then, getting effectively wasted with your group of male friends while everyone else looked on in disgust. A week after the party when you were seventeen, some of your female friends mentioned that the way you acted was “not lady-like” and that they “had been raised to present themselves correctly”. You couldn’t have given less of a shit and you told them so. Just because it was a fancy party with a bunch of rich men meant you couldn’t enjoy yourself? Fuck that. Since then, your female friendships had turned into seeing each other once a year. A week after the party when you were eighteen, your parents bought a château in the south of France and left you at the estate. You weren’t upset. You were overjoyed to have your friends over all the time and do whatever you wanted; it’s not like you couldn’t afford to do anything you wanted to do anyway. That was two years ago and now, being twenty, you were jittery with excitement about the party.

Last year, there were a few questions from staff about how you wanted the party run, but being left in charge with no guidance or plan, you instructed them to do what they had done the previous year. Some glances of confusion were thrown your way, but you shrugged them off just wanting there to be enough alcohol at the party for you and your friends. This year, however, you had made a plan and sat down with all of the staff members weeks ahead of the party. You had a list of requests and items you wanted for the party to run smoothly. At the end of the meeting, the staff seemed more comfortable and relaxed about how things would go, seemingly used to more outrageous requests than a simple “just reuse what we had last year”. This year would be a party that would be talked about for ages, you just knew it.

Finishing your makeup, a knock came from your door.

“Come in.”

The door slowly opened revealing a staff member, Analise, poking her head into the room.

“They are almost ready for you.”

You smiled at her.

“Thank you, I’ll be right there.”

She nodded and closed the door.

Standing, you made your way back to the wardrobe. Taking the dress off of the hanger, you stepped into it and slid it on. It hugged your hips perfectly. Everything from the sizing to the straps was perfect; the color complimenting your complexion, the fabric silky smooth against your skin, the bunching of material on the side draped perfectly, and a slit cut up your right thigh. Looking into the mirror, you smiled, satisfied with your outfit. You left your room, your silver heels clicking on the marble of the hallway. You made your way to the balcony overlooking the sprawling estate lined with gravel pathways, illuminated statues, and grandiose fountains. Various guests wandered about, but they all came to a halt the moment you appeared. You took a deep breath.

“Thank you for coming, everyone. We hope you have an amazing night. Enjoy!”

The crowd erupted in applause. You smiled, knowing that it didn’t matter what you said because they would clap anyway. You could have told them all to go fuck themselves and they would have cheered, already too stoned or tipsy to process what you were saying. You left the balcony and made your way down to the ballroom. You walked past people mingling, knowing that the calm vibe that was present wouldn’t last. The longer the party went on, the more rowdy everyone got. Due to this, you had instructed staff to keep only the ballroom open to guests; everything else in the house was closed. You walked out of the large double doors through the courtyard to the grounds. The place was packed, people sat in the grass talking and drinking, chased each other between statues, and stood next to the fountains. It wasn’t long before someone would be in one. You approached one of the open bars and ordered a drink.

“Wow, starting off strong this year, are we?”

A voice close to your ear spoke.

You whipped around to find Chan, Changbin, and Hyunjin dressed in matching black suits. Chan, the owner of the voice that had almost given you a heart attack, smiled wide. He held a glass of honey-colored liquid. To his left, Changbin stared down the neck of his beer bottle. Lastly, Hyunjin was looking everywhere but you, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyes towards the night sky. It wasn’t a quiet fact between you and Chan that you had a raging, uncontrollable crush on Hyunjin. The three of them had become your best friends over the past couple of years. Since your parents left, you sought solace and comfort in others, hating being alone in the large house. You and Chan, however, had grown closest, telling each other everything. The three of them were also the usual suspects when it came to getting the party rowdy, Chan acting as the ringleader as he threw back shot after shot.

“I figured if I’m going to catch up to where you are, I’ll have to start on the right foot.”

Chan smiled.

“Well, let’s get going then, yeah?”

You turned toward the bar, collecting your drink from the bartender.

“Let’s.”

You responded as you raised the glass towards him.

About an hour later, you were decently buzzed and not planning on stopping any time soon. As you suspected, people had gotten more comfortable and, therefore, more drunk. You figured in about an hour from now, Chan would be tossing Changbin in a fountain while Hyunjin scoffed. The instance was synonymous with the party at this point, tradition. The four of you had found your way back to one of the open bars, Chan ordering everyone multiple rounds of shots. Then, Hyunjin suggested getting away from the crowds so you found yourself walking next to him on a gravel path, Chan and Changbin stumbling behind the two of you while playfully shoving each other. The night air wrapped around your bare shoulders, causing you to shiver. Hyunjin noticed and paused to take off his suit jacket, revealing a black silk dress shirt tucked into his slacks accentuating his waist.

“What are you…”

“Just take it.”

He pulled the jacket around your shoulders.

“Thanks.”

You continued walking, following the path and beginning to loop back towards the party. For the next few seconds, it was silent aside from the muffled chatter of party guests and the music from the ballroom that filtered out of the doors and reached your ears. Then, a voice to your left, barely above a whisper cut through the night.

“Medusa ‘95. Looks good on you.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, not being able to process what he was talking about. Then you realized it. The dress.

“How did you-”

Hyunjin smirked. Your eyes widened. Your mind sobered as the realization hit you like a truck.

“You!”

Chan and Changbin had caught up with you and began to snicker behind you.

“It was you! Hwang Hyunjin, have you been leaving me all these expensive gifts?”

“Who else did you think it was?”

A slight smirk spread across his face. You raised your arm, and suddenly, Chan was at your side, holding your wrist.

“Now, now, let’s not beat poor, lovesick Hyunjin over here to death.”

Just when you thought the moment couldn’t get any more surprising, the word ‘lovesick’ registered in your brain.

“What- lovesick?”

You looked between the three of them, Chan and Changbin trying to suppress smiles while a violent blush spread from the tips of Hyunjin’s ears down his neck.

“Just forget it, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He turned towards the house and began to walk away.

“Hyunjin, wait!”

You called after him. You turned to Chan and Changbin.

“Nice guys. Thanks, for that.”

Their faces dropped.

“Wait, we didn’t mean-”

“Save it.”

You turned away from them and chased after Hyunjin. You could see him in front of you, the blonde not slowing his pace. You called after him again.

“Hyunjin, come back! Hyunjin! Hwang Hyunjin stop walking away from me!”

That got his attention. He paused, not turning towards you but not walking further away either. After struggling to walk fast on the gravel in your heels, you came up to him and spun to stand in front of him with your back to the house.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bought you all that stuff. I was just-”

“Hyunjin.”

You cut him off. He fell silent, his eyes once again anywhere but you.

“Don’t apologize, I love the gifts. I’m just curious about how you, one, knew what to get me, and, two, got them into my room.”

His eyes flicked to yours and held them there.

“Magic.”

You scoffed playfully.

“Mmm, okay. Whatever you say, Mr. Magician.”

Hyunjin turned his head, noticing that Chan and Changbin had started walking towards you again even though they were quite a ways away.

“Do you want to go somewhere a bit quieter?”

He asked, his head still turned.

You nodded, your mouth suddenly dry at the thought of being alone with Hyunjin.

“Ye- yeah. Sure, whatever you want.”

He turned back to you, extending his arm for you to hold. Under the fabric of his shirt, his skin was noticeably cool. You chalked it up to the night air and his lack of a jacket. He led you up the gravel path, back to the courtyard, around the fountain in the middle, and out the gate to the back of the house. He was silent as you walked arm-in-arm. Your senses were heightened, something inside of you screaming ‘DANGER!’. You pushed the thought away, knowing Hyunjin would be the last person to put you in danger. The path you took around the side to the back of the house was dimly lit, the only light guiding your way leaking out of the ballroom windows. Hyunjin, however, acted as if he knew the place like the back of his hand. You could see his dark eyes scanning the shadows, seeing things you couldn’t. Suddenly, he paused. You tore your eyes away from his face to the metal gates in front of you.

‘Why did he come here?’

Hyunjin took a deep breath and walked forward. Your arms unlinked, leaving you standing in front of the gates while he pushed one open.

“Coming?”

You blinked and nodded.

Following him in, you pulled his jacket tighter around your shoulders. Moonlight illuminated the graveyard and Hyunjin’s skin shone. You stood at the entrance and watched as he walked deeper into the graveyard, his head hung low and fingertips brushing the top of each headstone he passed. He paused in the middle and turned back towards you. The graveyard was small with high block walls covered in ivy surrounding it, but it looked so different here in the dark. It looked bigger, scarier.

“Hey. Come here.”

Hyunjin spoke, his low tone sending shivers down your back. If anyone else had been with you or you had been closer to the party, you wouldn’t have heard him. Now, though, you walk towards him with your eyes locked on his. Once close enough, he reached out, arms circled your waist and pulled your body flush with his. Your breath caught in your throat and your hands held his shoulders, stabilizing yourself. He looked deep into your eyes, searching for something.

“Never in a million years did I think I’d be here with you.”

You blinked. What the hell?

“What do you mean?”

He scoffed.

“Oh, come on. After playing hard to get for so long? Now I’m the one who can finally have you.”

Your mind spun. What the fuck was he talking about?

He noticed the confused look on your face and pulled back a bit. He didn’t completely detach from where his hands were around your waist, but he put space between the two of you. You suddenly wished he didn’t.

“Do you have any idea what I’m talking about?”

You shook your head and he sighed.

“Do you even know why we do this every year?”

Another shake ‘no’ elicited another sigh.

“Well, then I guess I have to be the one to tell you. Shit, okay, umm… You know what? We should sit, come on.”

You felt so lost. What did he have to tell you? Why did he think you needed to sit down? You had always thought of the party as just a time to fuck around with your friends. Now, you were wondering what the real reason was. He led you to a bench against one of the walls and gestured for you to sit down. He stayed standing, beginning to pace in front of you. After a few minutes of him wringing his hands and pacing back and forth, you got fed up.

“Hyunjin, will you just spit it out already?”

He paused in front of you and exhaled.

“Okay. Uh, okay. So, you know we have this party every year, right?”

You nodded.

“Great. Your family has been notorious for having daughters, so about three hundred years ago the first party was advertised as ‘bring your sons to marry our daughter and be welcomed into our rich family’. Some people heard that and ran with it. Poor people came from all over in search of riches while another group of people came looking for protection. The first daughter chose a duke after a couple of years of having the annual party. When she took over the estate, she decided to just keep the parties going. She was hoping other people would be able to find love at one of the parties like she had. The people who had come to the first party looking for protection kept coming back. After years of being outsiders in society, these parties helped integrate them back. Anyways, ever since your parents brought you to that first party, these people have been trying to get you to fall in love with them. Think about it, how many people have come up to you at these pastries trying to make a move on you?”

You thought about it. There had been a lot of people, guys specifically, who had come up and tried to charm you. You, however, were so wasted at every party recently that you couldn’t recall any of their faces or what they had said. All you could remember was being irritated that someone was in between you and the next round of shots.

“I guess guys have come up to me, but I never really paid attention.”

Hyunjin nodded.

“That’s what I thought.”

“How do you know all of this?”

You knew the story of the parties, having been told by your mother growing up, but how did he? Hyunjin blew out a breath, seemingly debating if he should answer the question honestly.

“I was at the first party.”

You laughed.

“So, we’ve known each other since I was seven and only recently became friends?”

Hyunjin shook his head.

You stopped laughing.

“No, I mean I was at the first party.”

You refused to process what he said.

“Hyunjin, that was three hundred years ago. How…”

He sat down next to you, taking your hand in his.

“I think it’s important that you understand where I’m from. When I’m from.”

You were suddenly very aware of how close he was and how plush his lips looked. Everything about him made your brain fuzzy, pulling you in. He pulled back, a frown forming on your face.

“Baby, focus.”

You blinked, trying to clear your mind enough to listen to what he was saying.

“I was born six hundred years ago. I age ten years every three hundred. Do you understand?”

You refused to believe him. There was no way. All of the years you had spent infatuated with stories like this never prepared you for it to be true.

“So you’re… not human?”

He smiled and dropped his head. His shoulders shook with silent laughter. He raised his head again and looked you squarely in the eyes.

“No, no I’m not. There’s a term for what I am, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

“Well, I’m very obviously accepting of the fact that you’re not human and I don’t feel like you’re going to eat or attack me, so give it to me. What are you?”

His eyes sparkled with something you couldn’t place your finger on.

“I’m a vampire.”

You knew it. Your brain had concluded it some time ago when he had begun talking. It had all added up, the heightened senses, knowing his way around the property, refusing to take as many shots as you. Still, the confession made your blood run cold and your breathing stop. His voice cut through your brain's initial panic.

“Does that scare you?”

“No. If you wanted to do something to me, you would have already. We’re alone in a graveyard for fuck’s sake.”

He smiled.

“Good answer. That’s going to make this a lot easier for me.”

Before you could ask what he meant, he leaned in and touched his lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss, happy to have confirmation that his lips were as soft as they looked. His hand came up to cradle your face and you leaned in, resting a hand on his thigh. You scoffed internally at the fact that he thought his confession would scare you. If anything, it made you more attracted to him. There was an underlying sense of danger that heightened your senses and made kissing him feel like touching a live wire. Goosebumps ran from the top of your scalp down your arms and legs, making you shiver. Hyunjin pulled back.

“We should get you out of the cold.”

You smiled as an idea popped into your head.

“I know where we can go. Follow me.”

You stood, pulling him up from the bench and leading him back to the courtyard. You walked through it to the ballroom, weaving between guests until you made it to the back of the room. A staff member moved to stop you from entering the doors that led into the foyer but allowed you and Hyunjin to pass once she saw who was in front of her. As the door closed behind you, the party muffled into the background and the click of your heels on the marble floor rang in your ears. You stopped under the chandelier that hung in the entryway. A slower song from the ballroom filtered in from the cracks in the door. You instantly recognized it.

“Underneath the chandelier, we're dancin' all alone…”

How fitting. You spun to face Hyunjin who was walking closer to you, humming the lyrics. His hands circled your waist, mimicking earlier, as you looped your arms behind his neck. You pressed your bodies together and began to sway from side to side as you followed Hyunjin’s lead. You laid your head on his shoulder, looking up at him. You admired the way the lighting made his skin look golden and brought out the light brown stripes in his eyes. He looked down at you with, what had to be, the same expression you had on your face. He spun the two of you around, making it feel like you had your own personal ballroom. He leaned down, prompting you to lift your head off of his shoulder and meet his lips again. Your kiss intensified as your lips parted and his tongue made its way into your mouth. Your hands tangled in his blonde hair and you bit his lip, something you had been wanting to do ever since you had first laid eyes on him, and pulled a small, barely audible moan from him. He broke the kiss, leaving you wanting more. He touched his forehead to yours, breathing heavily.

“What…”

“Shhh, follow me.”

He let go of your waist and let you lead him out of the entryway and up the stairs. You knew what he wanted. You wanted the same thing. You had been wanting it ever since you saw him for the first time at the party when you were sixteen. Now, you weren’t going to let anything get in your way. You led him to your bedroom and closed the door. You turned to face him and found him sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on his elbows with his legs slightly spread. You walked towards him, slipping his jacket off of your shoulders and letting it hit the ground softly. You stood between his legs, looking down at him.

“Why did you get me all those gifts, Hyuni?”

He drew in a shaky breath at the nickname. You took note.

“I- I wanted to see you wearing something that I knew came from me.”

You began to lower yourself to your knees in front of him. His eyes stayed locked on yours the entire time.

“I wanted to see something that labeled you as mine.”

Now, you were kneeling in front of him, your head resting on his thigh. You looked up at him, eyelids low and seductive.

“Tell me how long you’ve wanted me.”

You pressed a light kiss to his inner thigh, causing his eyes to roll back in his head.

“Four years. Chan- fuck.”

You moved up, leaving a trail of hot kisses through the fabric.

“Chan dragged me to the party four years ago. I didn’t want to go… Then I saw you and kept coming back. Even when there wasn’t a party going on.” You had moved to the other thigh, kissing down it. You remembered him showing up in your life after the party. You never questioned it, but you always knew Chan had something to do with it. Hyunjin’s hand moved from the bed to the side of your face and pulled you up towards him. He kissed you with a need you had never felt before, pulling you to your feet and leading you backward. Your back hit the door as his hands traveled up and down your body, one stopped on the bare skin of your thigh, exposed by the slit in the dress. His hand moved under it and hiked your leg up to his hip. You wrapped it around and pulled him close, your bodies flush with one another’s. Your hands stayed planted in his hair. His mouth left yours and moved down your neck. His confession in the graveyard came back to you and made your breathing come in rapid pants. He pulled away and looked down at you.

“Are you scared?”

He asked you the same question from earlier. You shook your head. You weren’t scared, if anything you were turned on. He moved back to your neck, his teeth scraping over a vein, teasing you. You swallowed and drew in a breath.

“Hyuni…”

“Mmm?”

He hummed against your skin.

You laughed nervously.

“You’re not gonna…right?”

His lips traveled upwards until they were next to your ear.

“I won’t bite you, baby. That is, unless you ask.”

You smiled. One thing was for sure, you wouldn’t be a news headline.

He resumed kissing your neck, teeth and all causing you to shiver. He moved down to your shoulder, stopping at the strap of your dress.

“Fuck, you look so good in this dress. I knew you would.”

You brought his lips back to yours, the fire inside of you both reigniting and burning together. He places both hands under your thighs, effectively lifting you and carrying you over to the vanity. You gasped, the possibility of him being extremely strong completely slipping your mind. He always moved so elegantly that you never would have assumed that under that silk shirt were firm muscles that could carry you across the room. He placed you down and you silently thanked your past self for putting your makeup away earlier that day. Hyunjin’s lips were next to your ear and you could feel his breath when he spoke.

“I need you. Can I have you?”

You had never replied faster, an enthusiastic ‘yes!’ leaving your lips. Hyunjin pulled back and smiled at you. Oh yeah, whatever the hell he wanted to do to you he could. You didn’t know if that was your years-long crush speaking or his intoxicating energy that came with the territory. Whichever it was, you wanted every part of it. His hand traveled out from under your thigh, across the top of it, and up your leg until it dipped under where the fabric met at the top. His lips had made it back to yours and you could feel his fingers getting closer and closer until they were pulling your underwear to the side and running over your clit. You let out a gasp into the kiss, his tongue in your mouth furthering the sensation. Your body was hot all over and you knew it would only intensify when he was inside of you later. You shook in anticipation and his finger swept over your clit again before he pushed one into you. You moaned, dipping your head back and his free hand came up to grip your chin.

“Eyes on me baby girl. I want to watch you react.”

Fucking freak. You liked it, though. His fingers continued to move until he could slide another in, stretching you out and leaving your mouth open while your chest heaved. His fingers inside of you curled, hitting just right over and over again while you called out for him.

“Hyun- Hyunjin. Oh, fuck. Oh my go- Shit.”

The entire time he whispered encouraging praises to you.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

“Just like that.”

“That’s my baby.”

“Does that feel good? Yeah? Tell me how good it feels.”

His eyes studied your face as you fell apart, your eyes closing, your head dipping back between your shoulders. His fingers continued, moving at an even pace that felt like it would break you into a million pieces from the inside out. After a few minutes, he sped up every so slightly, causing you to lurch forward and rest your head against his shoulder, your hands clutching at the back of his shirt. You could feel yourself on the edge, he brought you closer and closer with every curl of his fingers… until he stopped. Your eyes popped open, the feeling of defeat sinking in. You pulled back from him as his finger slipped out of you. He pulled back and smiled. He fucking smiled. If you weren’t so tired, you would have smacked him.

“Hyuni, why’d you stop?”

Your eyes were lidded with exhaustion and your voice came out in a whine.

Hyunjin laughed lightly at you.

“Trust me, baby.”

You held the top of his shirt where the top two buttons were undone. Whore. You pulled him closer.

“I need you.”

That did it. Hyunjin’s eyes sparked and caught fire. His hands moved swiftly from your thighs to your waist, picked you up from the vanity, and spun you around so that your back was to him and you were facing the bed. One of his hands moved to the small of your back and traced the hidden zipper up, finding the tab and pulling it down. The strap on your shoulder slid off, as did the rest of the dress and your underwear (thanks to his quick fingers), leaving you exposed in front of him.

“Sit on the bed, darling.”

He purred softly behind you. You followed his command and sat down, facing him where he stood with his back against the vanity. He began rolling up the sleeves of his black silk dress shirt, exposing his forearms. You watched the tendons flex as his fingers pulled at the material. Your eyes shifted to the mirror behind him, watching the back muscles under his shirt expand and contract. The entire time his head was low and his eyes were burning a hole into you. He walked towards you, stepping carefully over the dress on the floor. Stopping in front of the bed, he leaned down, placing his hands on your thighs. He hooked them under you and pushed you up the bed. He lowered himself between your legs and began running his fingertips up your legs. The sensation made your back arch, yearning for him to be inside of you again in any capacity.

“Hyuni, please.”

He groaned.

“Say that again.”

“Hyuni?”

He dropped his head onto your shoulder and moaned. You ran a hand into his blonde locks and pulled him up to meet your eyes.

“Take your clothes off.”

He moved so fast that you still felt his weight on top of you as he stood, undid the buttons of his shirt, and stepped out of his black slacks and briefs. He didn’t crawl on top of you when he made his way back towards you. Instead, he lowered himself to his knees, prompting you to push yourself onto your elbows, watching him. His torso rested on the bed, his hands gripped your thighs and spread them apart as he lowered his lips to your clit. You dropped against the mattress with a moan, his lips finally doing what you had wanted all along. As his tongue circled, his fingers found themselves inside of you again causing you to twitch and grind against his face. He made no effort to stop you, groaning in response every time your hips bucked and strings of curses and moans left your lips. You pleaded his name over and over again, begging him to bring you to the edge again. He moaned against you, the sound pushing you closer and closer. His whines for you were music, the lightest noise you could imagine mixed with the most guttural urge to please that you had ever heard. Sex with a vampire had never been on your real-life-possibilities radar, but here you were, and fuck if it wasn’t the best head you’d ever received in your life. Your orgasm ripped through you, feeling like it would split your skin and break your bones in one moment while transporting you to a fuzzy cloud of bliss the next. Hyunjin kissed your inner thighs, making you shiver with each sensation. He brought himself up and hovered over you, his eyes low and dark. Oh, he wasn’t done. You registered what he wanted and held his shoulders, pausing him from going any further just yet. You studied his face, his lips red and covered in you and his blonde hair creeping down his neck, messy from your fingers pulling at it. His arms bulged from holding himself up, his muscles taught and firm. His broad chest expanded and contracted as he breathed above you. Further down, his abs were ridgid and golden in the low lighting of your bedroom. He looked like he stepped out of a fucking Victorian oil painting. Maybe he did. You didn’t focus on logistics for too long, your need for him overtaking your senses.

“Love.”

His voice snapped your eyes back to his.

You tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Hyuni.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

“Need you, baby.”

His head dropped, placing his forehead against yours.

“How much?”

His head raised. His eyebrows cinched together. You ran your fingers through his hair again.

“Show me, Hyuni. Show me how much you need me.”

In a flash, he was off of you again, standing, and flipping you over onto your stomach. One of his arms snaked around your torsos, the other around your chest. He pulled you up onto your knees, his arms caged around you firm, but gentle. Your back pressed against his chest and you held on to his arms. In a singular roll of his hips, he was inside of you, his lips next to your ear while he whispered praises to you. Your head dropped back against his chest and your hands gripped his thighs behind you. Even standing while you were elevated on the bed, he was still taller than you. His hips pushed up again, making you cry out. If he had not been holding you against him, you would have fallen face-first into the mattress. He rolled his hips into you over and over, feeling the friction inside of you made your heart and breathing accelerate. His head lowered in tandem with his arm around your torso. While his mouth left wet-hot kisses below your ear and down your neck, his fingers lightly brushed over your clit. The slightest pressure caused your moans to mix with his. In reality, his arm could have stayed around your waist. The feeling of him inside of you was enough to have your muscles tensing and cause you to clench around him. He detached from where he was leaving hickeys against your neck and raised his head. To the right was the vanity he had you on earlier. The reflection in the mirror caught his eye and he turned his head to watch himself fuck in and out of you. You looked like the fucking picture of beauty, your skin shining golden with a sheen of sweat, your body draped back over his, your eyes closed in bliss, your head tilted back against him exposing your neck, and your lips parted spilling sinful noises drove him crazy. You called out to him, pulling his focus back to you in front of him.

“Fuck, Hyunjin, oh fuck.”

He smiled above you and moved his hand on your clit faster. Almost instantly, your body tensed, coaxing him to finish with you. Your moans mixed and your body fell backwards against his. He stayed grounded, holding you up until he could move you to lie down on the mattress. Once he did, he crawled next to you, opening his arms to you. You shuffled into them. His skin was cool which was a welcome contrast to how warm you were. You both laid there for some time until he broke the silence.

“I expected you to be scared.”

You angled your head, which was on his chest, up to look at him.

“What?”

“When I told you. I expected you to run away or something. Most people do.”

You propped yourself up with one arm and raised your other hand to run your fingers through his hair.

“Hyuni, I will never be scared of you.”

He smiled.

“I have a question, though.”

“I figured you would have a few. Ask away.”

“When the fuck were you born?”

He laughed, his smile so wide his eyes turned to crescents and his teeth glinted in the soft lighting. You smacked his chest lightly.

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question!”

His laughter died down, but his smile stayed.

“No, it is. I just thought it would be more along the lines of ‘how many people have you killed’ or something like that.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t know if I want that information.”

“Good, I wasn’t planning on telling you anyway. To answer your question, it was sometime in the 1400’s. I wasn’t bit or anything, I was just born like this. I don’t know the exact year, but it was around that time. I’ve tried to figure it out, but even after all these years math still confuses the fuck out of me. I should ask Changbin, I’m sure he could figure it out.”

You had laid back down on his chest by now and watched as he spoke. He was staring at the ceiling as if he was talking to himself.

“Remember how I said at the first party that people who were outcasted by society came to it to hopefully work their way back in?”

You nodded.

“Well, they did. There are quite a few people here like me, but you’d never know.”

“Anyone I know?”

He looked at you.

“Yeah, actually. A couple of people you know very well.”

You thought for a second. The only people you knew that well were Changbin and Chan, but there was no way they could be vampires. Or could they? Hyunjin could sense the wheels in your head turning, his smile getting a bit wider.

“No way.”

He nodded.

“Yes, way.”

“This whole time the three of you have been fucking vampires and you didn’t tell me? What the fuck?”

He barked out a laugh and pulled you closer.

“It’s hard to tell people. Especially people we like. We don’t want to lose anyone.”

“I’m still mad you didn’t tell me sooner. You’ve seen my copies of Twilight. What made you think I would run away in terror?”

“Fiction and real life are two different things, babe.”

Hynjin planted a kiss on your forehead. Outside, you could hear the party still going strong. You looked at the clock on your bedside table. 11:59. You sat up.

“C’mon.”

Hyunjin watched as you pulled a blanket off the bed and around your shoulders. You made your way to the window and flicked the lights off. Hyunjin stood and joined you, as you opened the blanket for him to wrap his body in next to you. Outside of the window, the sky began to light up in every color of the rainbow. The fireworks illuminated the estate and you could hear the cheers of the partygoers below. Hyunjin wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him, and placed a kiss on your forehead again. He looked down at you, your eyes locking as his skin flashed different colors from the light of the fireworks.

“I don’t tell people this because they’re usually not around long enough for me to tell them, but I have to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“Can I tell you something, too?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you too, Hyuni.”

Hiiiiii, I loved writing Hyunjin!!! If anyone has any requests, please let me know!! You can find me @starsneverdie (https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsneverdie) on AO3 and @starsneverdie_ (https://x.com/starsneverdie_) on Twitter. I promise I'm super cool and funny and sexy consider interacting with me over there!! As always, likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

[villaingaze]

scepter shenanigans — part i.

loki laufeyson x gn!reader

word count. 3.1k

synopsis. thor’s been gone since the events of the dark world. in the meantime, loki has now proclaimed himself the ruler of asgard, but finds himself caught up in a mission back on earth.

tags. wacky mission to retrieve the scepter (tiny inspiration after watching thunderbolts trailer), canon divergence, enemies-to-lovers(ish), they have history, banter, humour, swearing, some angst, fluff if you squint!

animated dividers by cafekitsune

“LOOOOKI!”

You lunged towards him. Loki was caught off guard, his back facing you, and he gasped as you tackled him to the ground with a loud thud. Yet, human reflexes could never match those of a God. Instantly, Loki pushed you off of him. You groaned as your back hit the cold marble floor harshly.

A foolish, pathetic attempt, he thought. His hand immediately conjured a dagger as he crouched to your wincing body, and was about to raise it down when he realized — it was you.

Loki had last seen you four years ago. He called your name. “How did you—”

You forcefully kicked him in the groin, taking advantage of his loss of momentum. The grip of his dagger involuntarily weakened as it clattered to the ground. Seizing your chance, you swiftly took the weapon. You wielded it against his throat as you used your other forearm to push down against his chest firmly.

You were far too furious to realize that you were practically straddling him.

“Darling, if you wanted me like this, you could’ve just a—”

“Where is it?” you hissed. Honestly, it sounded more like a threat than an open-ended question.

“Where is what?” he heaved, still catching his breath.

“Your Scepter, you imbecile!”

“I beg your pardon, I am a God— ”

You edged the dagger nearer to his skin.

“Alright, alright!” Loki exclaimed, a wave of panic sweeping over him. At that moment, he truly believed you were capable of killing him. There was more reason for this, and he knew he could never earn your forgiveness after what he had done. “Believe me this instance, I do not have the Scepter!”

“Liar!” You yelled. “What business did you have on Earth?”

Your first instinct of Loki’s involvement was cemented when SHIELD identified his presence five days ago, aligning with the same time the weapon was reported to have been stolen.

Thor was believed to have been off-world, so he couldn’t help you access the Bifrost directly. Instead, you sought help just around 177A Bleecker Street. You were barely acquainted, and Stephen Strange was certainly less than willing and came off as rather prickly. However, he was eventually convinced as Loki was on his watch list of beings that posed a potential threat to the world.

In search of an incantation, Stephen bent through time and space, flipping through numerous ancient books in a split second. One moment, you were in a library, the next, you were at the bottom of the stairs. It was all very disorienting. With a wave of his fingers, he made work of his sorcery and eventually opened a portal.

You peered through the portal. You couldn’t believe your eyes; Loki was standing perfectly unharmed on the other side. He was leaning against a pillar, staring ahead of an open balcony, his gaze focused on what appeared to be a half-completed statue.

You had last seen him four years ago. When Thor had returned from Asgard and brought you news of his death, you were beyond devastated. The constant pang of regret and grief tormented your mind. Eventually, you tried to move on, and while you were able to get back on your feet, time never really healed all wounds.

Seeing him alive brought back a whirlwind of emotions. But all you could focus on was anger. You had truly believed that you lost him forever, and he had caused you so much unnecessary pain. Ridiculous. You should have seen it coming. Loki hadn’t really parted from his old ways, had he?

You continued to eye him with suspicion. “Strange.”

“Yes, indeed, this is all—”

“No, Stephen,” you called out.

Just then, bright sparks of orange flickered around the both of you, shaping into a portal as you both suddenly fell through. For a second, you were both falling into nothingness. Your heart lurched at the sudden drop, making you cling to Loki. He cushioned your fall as you both plummeted to the ground. You were back at the Sanctum Sanctorum.

“Well, that was faster than I expected,” a voice descended the stairs to meet you and the culprit. You took a moment to recover from the fall, and Stephen offered you a hand as you stood up. “Just so you know, I’m holding you accountable if things go sideways. Supervise him at all times.”

“No worries,” you replied. “Thanks for the help.”

Loki staggered to his feet. “Supervise me? I do not need—”

You grasped his hands, placing them in a pair of handcuffs. They were the same ones that Bruce and Tony had specifically developed to hinder his seiðr. Loki was chained for the first three months when he had lived in the Avengers Tower. He scowled as unpleasant memories flashed into his head.

“Seriously?”

“Move.” You hustled him out of the mansion.

You dragged him around to the spot where you had parked your car, and you sat him down on the front passenger seat, before slotting yourself at the front of the steering wheel.

“Ahem.”

You turned to look at him blankly.

“Safety,” he added coolly, motioning to his unbuckled seatbelt.

You forcefully stepped your foot down on the pedal as you drove off.

The drive back to your apartment was awkward, to say the least. Loki drummed his fingers on his lap. He repeatedly glimpsed at the window for a brief couple of seconds, before glancing around the interior of your car and circling right back to look at you. He was eager to say something. Eventually, he broke the silence.

“You look well.”

“…And you’re not dead.”

Loki forced a laugh. “This is not actually about the Scepter, is it?”

You chose not to respond, keeping your eyes on the road. Loki noticed your grip tightened on the steering wheel. Perhaps, you were not ready for that conversation yet, he thought.

A beat.

“If you must know, I only went down to send Odin off to one of your Midgardian care homes.”

You eventually glanced at him disapprovingly. “You mean exiling a literal celestial being on Earth?”

“Well, I—”

“Hang on a second— are you telling me you usurped Odin’s throne?”

“Oh, please,” he scoffed, folding his arms. He placed his legs on the dashboard, but not long before you swatted them down. “I devised a better way to keep things in control. His time is nearing, and that halfwit who calls himself his son has disappeared. I merely stepped up for that old man’s sake.”

Unbelievable, you thought, shaking your head. He was just as conceited as before and his old grudges had never waned. “So this is what you’ve been doing? Loki, I thought you ended this selfish pursuit for power.”

“It is not selfish! Asgard is more prosperous than ever.”

“Yeah, I’d like to see that for myself.”

“And you shall,” he quickly added. “If we turn back now and you return me promptly.”

You looked at him skeptically. “Nice try, Reindeer Games.” He hadn’t heard that stupid nickname in years. You knew how much he loathed it, especially when Tony used it often to provoke him. “But I’ve yet to locate the Scepter. And I’m afraid you’re not going anywhere until you tell me where it is.”

He stared at you like you said something utterly ridiculous. “Were you not listening to a word I said? I did not come back to this dreadful place to retrieve my weapon. You have my word!”

“Your word, Loki?” You seethed. “As if you aren’t already the most infamous Trickster God that they tell myths and stories about you here.”

“What, am I supposed to be honored?”

“No, Loki! Have you learned nothing?” Your frustration boiled over, and you instantly pulled the car to stop at the side of the road. “I don’t think you know how hard I fought throughout these years to pardon you for the irreversible damage you have caused. It’s always been personal to you, isn’t it?”

His eyes sharply narrowed. “This… this is your opinion of me? Do you honestly think I would—”

“Loki, I can’t trust you anymore!” You finally snapped. In the heat of the moment, wretched thoughts that you had tried to suppress for years came pouring out. “You lie, you manipulate, you hurt and you— you just leave! That’s all you… that's all you seem to do.”

It felt like time had paused. Embarrassment washed over your body. You couldn’t look at him. Eventually, you started the car again, and you both endured the silence for the rest of the journey back home. Loki had no words. You were hurting because of him. Then again, he always ended up hurting people anyway, right? Guilt flooded his thoughts as he simply turned his eyes to the window, watching the streets pass by.

2012

The first time you talked to Loki was… interesting. Like, actually talked. All you had done for the past week was hurl quips and flowery insults at each other.

It was late at night. You couldn’t sleep. New York never really slept, after all. You had dealt with thieves, mercenaries, assassins, but never aliens. The Battle of New York was entirely different, and you still couldn’t comprehend that any of it was real. The Chitauri had led a brutal onslaught, and their grotesque appearances painted a permanent image in your head.

You felt a presence suddenly behind you, and you picked up the faint sounds of cautious, deliberate footsteps.

“Can I help you?” You asked aloud.

The hallways were pitch-black, and Loki appeared out of the shadows. He sauntered to stand next to you, as you both stared ahead of the huge glass window that offered an impressive view of the city skyline.

He thought for a moment. “No, actually. In fact, I don’t think anyone here can.”

“This isn’t a punishment, Loki,” you reminded. “Your father sent you here for reasons, you know.”

“He imprisoned me here.” You heard the clink of his chains, his tone quickly turning acidic. “Learn humanity, he said, yet I do not see an ounce of it from any of you.”

“That’s because you refuse to see it.”

He snorted. “You mortals have nothing to offer anyway.”

You turned to observe him. From the angle of the moonlight, you could see the faint hue of blue in his eyes, and his slicked-back hair with the ends sharply curled. Oh, and he still refused to change from his ridiculous bulky armor. But he almost looked quite pretty, if he weren’t so abrasive in character.

“You know, for a God so arrogant, how are you so insecure?”

He didn’t respond.

“Thor told me about your little ruse in Stuttgart. You were made to be ruled, is that what you said?” You continued to goad him. “Is this all a petulant desire to be king? A jealousy towards your brother that has made you blind? Or that you are not—”

He had heard enough. Loki suddenly grasped your wrists, forcefully pinning them above your head as he slammed you against the glass wall. There was a dark look in his eyes as he glared at you. He leaned in closely.

“Don’t think for a second you know all about my grievances. Whatever Thor has told you about me is all in the perspective of his foolish mind.”

For a long moment, you both just stared at each other. Your faces were only inches apart. You could hear his breathing. Aware of the vulnerable position you were in, you knew that he could just kill you right there and then. But he didn’t. Instead, you caught the smallest movement in his eyes as they briefly flickered down to your lips.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Loki was taken aback by your sudden apology. It came out in a soft whisper, and never before had he felt a sincerity in your tone. He released you from his hold.

You continued. “But just… stop thinking you’re above everybody else, Loki. You’re being a real dick.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Just because you were hurt does not give you the right to hurt others. You’re always saying that we’re mistreating you, but we only want to help you. You just don’t want to help yourself. Sure, Tony’s difficult on you and Natasha really hates your guts, but trust takes time, you know. And time works differently between us and… someone like you. But that means you practically have all the time in the world. So give it a shot. That way, you’ll stop making things miserable for us and yourself.”

Loki was for once rendered speechless. Aside from your remark at the end, he suddenly felt a strange warmth just listening to your words. The sensation was unfamiliar and indescribable, but it was… comforting. Maybe, just maybe, he could get used to this.

You snapped him out of his thoughts. “Hey, I got an open slot for a sparring session at 2.30 tomorrow, you game?”

“I… Sure.”

PRESENT DAY

You eventually reached the building, and you grabbed Loki out of the car. He followed, with no other obvious choice. Neither of you exchanged words until you were at your apartment door. As you reached for the keys in your pocket, Loki began to speak.

“What is this place? Why are we not back at the tower?” He wrinkled his nose.

“This is where I live.” You deadpanned, offended by his comment, “I’m sorry if this is not to your liking, your royal highness.”

You unlocked your door and headed straight to the table to turn on your laptop. Loki slowly took in the surroundings as he entered your apartment. It was a small two-room flat. There were stacks of files lying across your table, and some threatening to topple over. He walked over to a spread of newspapers that were messily plastered on your walls.

“Sokovia Accords Passed Into Law,” Loki read a title out loud. “The Avengers Disbanded?” He turned to look at you, where you were seated at the other end of the room. He tilted his head to one side.

You stopped typing your report midway and looked up at him, shaking your head. You weren’t up to discussing it at the moment. Loki noticed the way your expression turned grim.

He knew they meant a lot to you, regardless of whether he fully understood what had happened. They were like a family. Well, they were your family. Never really felt like his, anyway. But he understood what it felt like, only you appeared to have lost touch with almost everyone you loved. If only he hadn’t…

Loki couldn’t confront the unease. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen, eventually occupying himself by opening every one of your cabinets. He proceeded to check the fridge, deciding to steal a fresh, bright red apple. He gave it a small toss in the air before taking a bite, as he walked to where you were seated.

You had pushed aside your thoughts and focused on finishing up the report when you realized that SHIELD had sent a new document to your inbox. You clicked it open. Loki stood behind you, raising his eyebrows as you both read the file. The revelation was like a blow to the face.

“Would you look at that? They’ve located the Scepter? Oh, darling, you have never been so wrong—”

“Don’t.” You could practically hear his smug grin.

You scrolled down further to check the coordinates, furrowing your eyebrows upon reading the information. “Avengers Tower? It can’t be.”

“I never knew Stark was so capable of—”

“No, he sold the tower a year ago,” you refuted Loki’s claim, reaching towards a heap of documents to pull out the contract you recovered. “…To a woman named Valentina Fontaine.”

You suddenly recognized her name and pulled up a profile on your screen. “She’s an ex-agent of SHIELD. It’s unconfirmed, but recent sources were saying she works for HYDRA now.”

“I suppose it shouldn’t be too hard for you to find out then.” Loki took another bite of the apple as he continued, his words muffled but still audible. “They seem like they barely have any intellect, after all.”

“What do you mean?” You turned to look at him questioningly.

Loki swallowed before he explained. “The Scepter is a containment vessel, in case you have forgotten. It simply wields an infinity stone and harnesses its power. But without a stone, it’s—”

“Essentially useless. Unless they are planning to… or they already have…”

“Exactly,” he replied, pleased you understood.

You were suddenly reminded of the times you both were assigned on missions together. The jobs prioritized efficiency and demanded them to be done quickly, which only made you more prone to forget certain details.

Loki, however, couldn’t care less about the nature of these assignments and simply went about doing things his way. He would take his own sweet time examining everything before deciding on a course of action. It slowed down the mission, and at the start, this made you extremely frustrated. More often than not, you both were sidetracked because of your lengthy arguments, and Tony had to butt in to stop the both of you from tearing at each other’s throats and compromising the mission.

However, with time, you only grew to realize that Loki was an asset to the team. More times than you could count, he actually prevented missions from going awry. It was more than you’d ever admit, but he turned out to be an exceptional partner. You only wished that the others realized this sooner. Although, you knew you couldn’t blame them entirely; Loki was intelligent and meticulous, but it also meant he could be cunning and manipulative, which was more than enough reason to be wary.

You pulled yourself from your thoughts, standing to grab your jacket from the coat rack. “I’m heading out, you’re coming with me.”

“What? Could it not possibly be more evident? I have no involvement in—”

“Who knows, Loki? Maybe this is some elaborate, grand scheme you planned in that head of yours to fool everyone. Besides, I’ve got to supervise you so you don’t terrorize half the city while I’m gone.”

“You just can’t seem to admit that you’re wrong, can you?” He fumed, fighting hard not to roll his eyes.

Without warning, you snatched the half-finished apple from his hand, tossing it into the bin. You grabbed your car keys from the counter and headed out of the apartment. “Let’s go.”

“I wasn’t done eating,” Loki muttered to himself, rushing out to catch up with your pace.

[finnfrei]

Hope you don't mind me asking again of your bard and her dragonborn? 😅

It’s getting hard to refuse a chance to rant about them, especially now as we have finished the campaign🌝

I keep thinking about this one scene after Clio got back from an adventure that almost became the party’s last one. They got to meet the gods of their realm or those who claimed to be ones. One of them turned out to be her sister’s patron, the other unwillingly caused vivid nightmares that were haunting Clio for more than five years reminding her about the assault she and her sister barely survived. Our oathbreaker paladin also had a time of his life meeting the god he used to serve. The party almost died there trying to prevent the destruction of their civilisation and death of everyone they love along with it. Her sister did die in a way there.

After killing some gods and saving the world, learning and surviving things she couldn’t even begin to comprehend, Clio got back home to the Iron City. She stormed to an ongoing council meeting in an iconic Aragorn at Helm’s Deep fashion, telling the story about what they’ve been through, explaining the recent global calamity and how they’ve managed to stop it. The utter awe on faces of other members of the council, including Hescan’s, brought bard the satisfaction she was seeking. Clio couldn’t quite grasp it but something was different about the way her chief looked at her. Last time she saw him he told her he was falling deep for her… or it was just a fever she had then, she couldn’t tell, she wasn’t sure. The man she was talking to through the communication ring during the adventure seemed to be the same unbothered and cold Dragonborn she knows for a few years now. Something shifted and for the first time she felt her hands sweating in his presence.

…

“I could’ve actually lost you this time,” he said in a quieter voice when they were finally alone and she noticed the slight shiver in chief’s voice. Clio’s heart clenched in her chest, he meant it. He worried about her.

That evening and the night that came after he was gentle, caring. That was new. Of course, he always made sure not to hurt her, unless she wanted to, but he never really expressed his affection like that. Not that it was unpleasant, it surprised and puzzled her.

…

“I was thinking…” he stumbled during a pillow talk a few hours later, “you know…maybe we should start spending more time together?”. She could’ve sworn she saw a blush coming through those emerald scales of his.

“I need to talk to you,” she sighed feeling tense and set up on the edge of the bed.

Hescan stood up, got around the bed, poured and passed a goblet of wine to the girl also taking one for himself.

“You know,” she started, “I believed my twin was dead there for some time. We had a huge fight right before that. All I could think about were things I should’ve told her or done and would never get a chance to.”

Hescan set quietly on his knees on the floor across from his little spy and was looking up at Clio as she proceeded, “And then I thought, what if we fail the whole “world saving” thing and I will never get to see you again. There’re things I regret I haven’t told you.” she stopped, trying to regain composure, “I have met someone,” she said avoiding looking at him at first, “He’s wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe and peaceful with anyone before.”

She could see the tension, anger and confusion building in his face.

“I feel seen. He looked into me and managed to bring back the girl even I believed was long gone, hiding under the myriad of different masks. He listens and he hears every word I say,” she smiles feeling already embarrassed of what she’s going to say next, “And despite all the common sense, I… I trust him.”

“What…” Hescan utters quietly, breaking the silence that filled the room. The look of anger, pain and the sticky feeling of betrayal washing over him.

“I trust him,” she repeats, “and I trust him my heart. I trust he will take good care of it.” Clio reaches with her hand and gently touches Dragonborn’s chest over his heart as she asks softly, “You will take care of it for me, wouldn’t you?”

The girl was waiting for a moment, watching as the anger on Hescan’s face changed to confusion and then the sparkle in his eyes as he glanced back at her when realisation finally hit him.

“I’m going to kill you!” he growled as he pounced at her, pushing her back on the soft bed. The girl giggled in his strong embrace, feeling the pressure of his body over hers.

“I need to hear it, my heart” she pleaded, pushing him away just enough to look him in the eyes.

He smiled softly and whispered, “I love you.” as he gently bit the arch of her neck, “you’re safe,” he followed with a kiss.

[girlwithadragonheart]

Chapter 4 - Ashes to Ashes

This story contains major spoilers for Dragon Age the Veilguard. Read at your own discretion!!

Rook x Lucanis

Summary: Kalais has to choose to save her city or Lucanis's. Things don't end well.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Mental-emotional breakdown, Kalais snaps a little

A/N: I love when I develop a character that ends up not taking any shit it's so healing

Chapter 3 DATV Masterlist Chapter 4(wip)

We met with Harding’s Warden contacts in the High Anderfels. Antoine and Evka were both very sweet and seemed like they wanted to help. They said they had noticed some things about the Blight that lined up with what we were seeing, everything the First Warden didn’t believe.

They told us about another Warden in the area who was pulled into another mission. Lucanis and I made our way to his last known location. There was a tent and a fire still halfway burning.

“Well, I’d say we found the camp.” Lucanis crouched down on the opposite side of the fire from me. “So did some darkspawn, looks like.”

“They left the fire burning,” Lucanis said.

“Were they ambushed?” Lucanis and I glanced at each other.

We heard a screech, both looking toward the sound. I crossed behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He rose from his crouched position behind me as I tried to find the source of the sound.

The creature screeched again, this time louder, and a ball of feathers was fiving at me, about the size of a mabari. I held my hands out, trying to keep the creature from attacking me. By description, it looked like a griffon, but that couldn’t be right. Griffons were extinct.

“Assan!” A deep voice yelled close by. I looked over seeing a handsome, dark skinned elf. The griffon pounced over to him as he walked up to us, sticking close to his side. “Easy boy.” The man smoothed a hand over his feathers.

“I’ll be damned… a griffon,” I said.

“Trouble is, he’s not sure what you are. Neither am I,” the man said.

“Rook,” I said. “Evka and Antoine sent us. We’re looking for Davrin.”

“You found him. Mind telling me why you smell like darkspawn?” He asked. “Griffons hunt darkspawn.”

“We don’t smell that bad. It’s the tent,” I explained.

“Blight? Where are Lancit and Remi?”

“The camp was empty when we got here,” I told him.

We heard a raged cry from somewhere distant. “Assan! To the trees!” Davrin commanded. “Try to keep up!” He told us.

After killing lots of darkspawn, and finding all of the griffons locked up in cages sealed with blood magic, we found what Davrin called the “Gloom Howler”. Some kind of Darkspawn, undead, bitch queen.

She got away and took the griffons with her before we could stop her.

The four of us made our way back through the eluvian and the Caretaker took us between islands in the Crossroads.

Neve, Harding, and Bellara came running toward us, looking panicked. “What’s happened?” I asked with a furrowed brow.

“The Viper just sent word. Minrathous is under attack by a blighted dragon,” Neve said.

“Has to be the one we saw at D’Meta’s Crossing,” I said.

“Well, one of them has to be,” Harding replied.

“What do you mean, “one of them”?” Lucanis questioned.

“Teia also got in touch. Another dragon is attacking Treviso, too,” Harding told him.

“Mierda,” Lucanis cursed.

“You got back just in time,” Harding said to me.

I took a breath, putting my hands on my hips. “Alright. What do we know?”

“Two dragons at once? Has to be the gods behind it,” she said.

“Teviso’s a merchant city. It has no defenses. And the canals run everywhere,” Lucanis told me. “If we don’t stop that dragon, people will die. Innocent people. My people. They either die right away, from the dragon. Or slowly after, from blight in the water. We need to go to Treviso.”

“And leave Minrathous to burn?” Neve questioned. “You’re a Shadow Dragon, Rook. You know the Viper, Tarquin, every damn Shadow… We’ll fight to the end. But people will get hurt. Or worse,” she said. “And if we fail? The Venatori will take advantage. They’ll make a push for the throne. And hand the gods the entire Tevinter Empire.”

“If we decide to—”

“Damn it! There’s no time!” Neve interrupted me. “It’s my city. Our city. I need to be in Minrathous.”

“And I must go to Treviso,” Lucanis said. “Go where you feel you must, Rook. We cannot wait.” 

Without another word, Neve and Lucanis both ran off. “What’s our move, Rook?” Harding asked.

I ran over what I knew for certain in my head. Minrathous had defenses, including the Archon Palace. I was certain that me and two others would not be able to make much of a difference against a dragon. But I did know that Treviso was already under occupation and its people wouldn’t survive without some extra aid. I also knew that as much as Neve said Minrathous was my city, I was its slave long before I was its savior.

I took a breath, my chest feeling tight with the weight of this decision. “We help Lucanis in Treviso. We have to trust that the Shadow Dragons can take care of things in Minrathous. That said… two of you should join Neve there. See if you can help. And we’ll head to Treviso.”

“Understood,” Davrin said.

“Let’s all try to make it through this alive, all right?”

I brought Davrin with me, leaving the other two to go to Minrathous with Neve. I had to trust that they would be alright. I couldn’t afford to be distracted right now, lest I risk my own hide. When we got to Treviso, the city was burning.

Davrin and I made our way through the city, killing Antaam as we went. With the dragon trying to kill everyone, I suppose they saw their chance to really take over. Or, even worse, they were working for the Gods. ‘Cause that’s what we needed. More enemies.

We ran through the courtyard, seeing Lucanis and Teia up ahead. Lucanis looked so relieved to see us. “Rook! You’re just in time. Where the dragon attacks, the Antaam soon follow.”

“It is strong and fast. You must get its attention, then lure it onto the ground,” Teia said, hands on her hips.

“We’ll figure out a way,” I said, mimicking her stance.

“Draw up your courage,” she said. “We will need it.”

We took up position in the field, Davrin on my right and Lucanis on my left. Ghilan’nain, the horrible beast that she now was, all tentacles and no heart, demanded the dagger from me and said that Treviso offered nothing more than a pawn for Elgar’nan. She clearly couldn’t see the beauty it held.

She sent the dragon after us to retrieve the dagger. Most of my time was spent dodging blows as I tried to keep it off the other two, allowing them to actually hit it.

Enough of my panic built up, that I was able to aim some of it back at the dragon in the form of lightning and fire, beamed directly at its heart. Before we could bring it down, Ghilan’nain called it away, saying she had need of it elsewhere.

“You fought it off!” Teia ran over to us.

Lucanis clutched at a wound on his leg as he limped over to us. “If Ghilan’nain hadn’t called it away…”

“It’s more important that it stopped attacking the city,” I told him, casting a worried glance at the blood staining him.

“Everyone with a home that still stands will agree,” Teia said.

“That thing was tough. It’ll be hard to put down for good,” I sighed.

“What happened to Treviso would’ve been worse if you hadn’t arrived when you did. I cannot imagine how much worse,” Lucanis said looking at me gratefully.

“Still have to help with that dragon in Minrathous,” Davrin said.

“Let’s go,” I said.

—-------------------------------------

Minrathous was covered in Blight by the time we reached it. The streets were crawling with darkspawn and buildings were on fire. Even as I knew I made the right choice, it hurt to see this place like this. I had more bad memories here than good ones, but the good ones outweighed the negative. This was where I met Varric, after all.

We found Neve and Tarquin huddled around Ashur who was on a table, looking miserable and wounded.

“We’re here. What’s the situation?” I asked.

“Where were you?” Neve demanded.

“Treviso. The dragon—”

“This is your city! I thought—”

“My city?!” I almost laughed in her face. “You mean the city I was enslaved to? You mean the city that showed me and other people like me no kindness? The city that’s been corrupted since the beginning of Thedas?”

“And because we were busy fighting the bigger evil, the Venatori took large parts of the city!” She yelled. “We lost people. And Ashur…”

“I’m fine,” he grunted. “She’s right.”

“You are not fine,” Tarquin said, standing. “He took a claw to the gut. A claw from a blighted dragon. Think about that,” he said to me.

“The blight’s in his blood. But that means…” All my fire was gone, and I was just exhausted.

“A slow death,” Neve finished. 

“You’ve brought nothing but trouble since you came back,” Tarquin growled.

My brows furrowed, pained and hurt. Dorian led me to them and all I did was fuck everything up. Lucanis stepped closer, almost protectively.

“It’s not Rook’s fault,” Ashur said. “I chose to engage it.”

“Because it was going for a safe house! Because half of us were already dead!” Tarquin shouted.

“Do you honestly think one more fucking person would’ve changed the outcome?” I questioned.

Tarquin spun on me. “No, but maybe you would be dying instead of him.”

I physically recoiled from the hatred in his eyes, my gut twisting with nausea. I bumped into Lucanis, and he steadied me with a hand on my waist.

“Just go. There’s nothing you can do here,” Neve said, looking over at Ashur.

—-------------------------------

I stumbled through the eluvian in the lighthouse, clutching my chest. My stomach churned, and I thought I might throw up.

“Rook!” I heard Bellara behind me, but I didn’t stop, heading straight through the hall and up the stairs. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t lead, I wasn’t cut out for it.

I let my feet guide me and before I knew it, I was in the infirmary. Varric looked alarmed as I collapsed to my knees beside his bed, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I fucked up,” I whimpered. “I fucked up, Varric.”

“Hey, hey, hey, kid, take a breath.” He shifted, and I felt his warm hand on my shoulder, gripping me just tight enough to bring me back to reality. “What happened?”

“Minrathous---” I started, getting cut off by a sob. “Minrathous is burning. They took it- The gods took it, and Neve…” My body shook, wracked with sobs as I tried to breathe. “She’s so mad. I don’t think she’s coming back, Varric.” I looked up at him with bleary eyes.

He moved, sliding to the edge of the bed until I was between his legs, and he pulled me into his chest. “Easy, kid.” He had one arm tight around my shoulders, his other hand smoothing my hair. “You can’t save everyone. That’s the life.”

“Neve trusted me. She trusted me and Minrathous is burning now,” I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to suck up the warmth he was giving me. It was so hard to breathe.

“You made a decision based on what limited knowledge you had,” Varric said. “No one can ask any more of you than that. Neve will come back around. Give her time.”

“We don’t have time, Varric,” I said desperately.

“So keep moving forward. That’s what you do, Rook. That’s what you’ve always done,” he said. “She’ll either come around or she won’t. But you can’t afford to spend what little time you have regretting your choices. Let me ask you something: Do you regret the choice you made? Or just Neve?”

I felt silent in contemplation. “I made the right choice,” I said carefully. “Treviso has no defenses, and it’s under occupation by the Antaam. I couldn’t have changed the outcome in Minrathous.” I had to believe that, if nothing else.

Varric squeezed my shoulder, and I pulled back, looking up at him. He smiled with that softness in his eyes that was just reserved for me. He put his thumb and forefinger under my chin so I looked at him. “Then you did the right thing,” he said simply. Carefully, he used his thumbs to wipe my face of tears. “Cheer up, kid. The night may be long, but it isn’t all dark.”

I heard what he said and what he didn’t. Minrathous was doomed to fall some day. We had been fighting a losing battle regardless, much as I hated to leave behind the people there. Half of them were under Venatori control, and the other half were too helpless to fight against it.

“Chin up, Rook. I think the others need you,” he told me.

I nodded, sniffling and wiping the remainder of my tears from my chin and jaw. “I need to talk to Solas.”

“If Chuckles pisses you off too much, hit him for me,” he said as he slid back up to the wall.

I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, shaking my head as I left.

---------------------------------------

“When last we spoke, you were hunting for followers of Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain in hopes of finding “specifics”. Has your search been successful?” Solas asked.

“You could say that. It looks like both the Venatori and the Antaam are working for Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain,” I told him.

“Unsurprising. The Venatori want magical secrets, and the Antaam want to destroy anyone opposing their brutal expansion. Both will readily bow to anyone who promises them power.”

“It’s more than a promise this time. The Antaam and the Venatori both have dragons doing their bidding.”

“Dragons?” He said surprised. “That is worse than I had feared.”

“Yeah. We drove off the one the Antaam brought to Treviso—barely,” I crossed my arms.

“Have you determined how the dragons are being directed? If it is blood magic, it may be possible to disrupt their control.”

“The dragons are blighted. We think that’s what let the gods control them.”

“The blight. Of course.”

“The blight seems to be the gods’ favored tool right now. We ran into Venatori who could control darkspawn,” I said.

“Elgar’nan would not bestow such power unless the darkspawn were to serve as the main force of his army. And I suspect Ghilan’nain will see the darkspawn as new subjects for her… modifications.”

“We’ve already run into a few darkspawn nobody has seen before. That’s in addition to the blighted dragons.”

“That is the fate Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain plan for this world, then. Corruption and blighted slavery,” Solas said, hands clasped behind his back.

“Right… Everyone should be free and uncorrupted when your demons and raw magic kill them,” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Do you truly believe my goal was to destroy this world?” He asked.

“I believe you’re ‘goal’, like you said, was to transfer the gods to a better prison—the one you’re stuck in now. And you were willing to tear down the Veil and destroy with world while you did so,” I spat.

“The Veil is a wound I cut into the Fade in a moment of desperation while aking their prison. It should not exist. I had a host of spirits ready to help when the Veil fell. They would have minimized the loss of life.”

“Do you have any idea what you sound like? You could’ve actually saved the world from the blight, but instead you chose to kill thousands of people with your vanity project!” I shouted.

“It is not vanity! I broke this world. I am the only one who can fix it!”

His shouting didn’t faze me with the huge ravine and the Fade between us. “Spoken like a god,” I said with all the contempt I felt.

“I am not a god! I am as I have always been: a man, all too aware of his failings… But equally aware that if he did not act, accepting the judgment it would bring, all would be lost. They called me the Dread Wolf. What will they call you, when this is over?” He wondered.

“I don’t care what they call me. If they’re calling me anything, it means they’re still alive. That’s all that matters.”

“Acceptance. You are willing to face the consequences your actions may one day bring, because the world needs you. I believe I can work with that.” He smiled, though it felt anything but sincere. “If the gods are using dragons, you will wish to find someone trained to fight them. Have you unlocked the lighthouse eluvian?”

“Yes. We found the Crossroads. It’s still confusing, though.”

“I cannot help you from in here. You may need to find an expert in the magic of the Fade. And if the Darkspawn are to be Elgar’nan’s army, you will need Grey Wardens to fight them.”

“I’ve got a few of them. Their leaders don’t trust me right now, though.”

“I have faith in you, Rook,” Solas said. “You seem to have a knack for gaining the cooperation of your adversaries.”

---------------------------------------

I woke up in a cold sweat---as I often did these days---to someone thumping against my door. I moved over to it quickly, brows furrowing. When I opened it, I had to catch Lucanis. He was struggling to stand, but when he spoke, it was Spite coming through his teeth.

“The idiot is still bleeding. Help him.”

“Walk with me,” I supported him with his arm over my shoulders, and I led him to my chaise lounge. When he sat, the purple glow from Lucanis’s eyes was gone, and he slumped, unconscious. “Fenedhis.”

I could see the blood seeping through the bandage on his leg, staining his loungewear dark red.

“Gods dammit, Lucanis,” I grumbled. I looked up at his unconscious form, regretting what I was about to do before I could even do it. I reached for the buttons on his pants, undoing them and pulling them down to his knees, keeping my eyes on the bandaged wound.

My fingers fumbled with the knot before finally getting it undone, unraveling it, lifting his boot onto my knee to pull the bandage from under his leg. When I got to the wound, I looked at it with furrowed brows. It looked like there was a piece of jagged rock stuck in there, which would explain why it didn’t clot properly.

I sighed, hovering my hand over the wound and pulling the piece of shrapnel with my magic. Lucanis winced. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” I whispered, putting just a bit more power until it flew up and smacked my palm. I set it with the bandages next to him. “Nasty little thing.”

Carefully, I held my hand over the wound again, pushing warmth into it and watching it seal closed beneath my magic. When it was healed, I stood, moving to my wardrobe for a fresh cloth to clean the blood up on his leg.

Before I came back around, I heard a startled grunt from Lucanis. His chest seized, staring at the wall of the aquarium across from him. I internally panicked, realizing he spent a year in the bottom of the ocean tortured.

I moved around the chaise with the cloth, putting myself into his direct line of sight. He looked up at me with wide brown eyes. “Rook?”

Slowly, he loosed a breath, looking around. “Hey, it’s alright. We’re in my room. Spite brought you here because of your wound.” I knelt down in front of him again, starting to mop up his blood.

“Of course he did,” he grumbled, looking down at his lap. He cleared his throat. “Isn’t it customary to ask before removing a man’s clothes?”

I rolled my eyes, hitting him with the cloth. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better. Well enough to clean yourself.” I stood, throwing the cloth at him.

He caught my wrist as I turned away. “Vuelve mi pequeña polilla, I meant nothing by it.”

My cheeks warmed as he crooned in his native language, and I was pulled back to my knees in front of him, resuming to clean his wound. “You had quite a nasty cut. This was keeping it from closing.” I picked up the piece of jagged rock. 

“Mierda,” he cursed, taking it to inspect it. “I wondered.”

“You would be lost without me,” I teased, wiping my hands on the cloth.

“You have no idea,” he muttered.

“I hope the next time we’re like this it’s not because you’re bleeding out,” I grinned, standing and collecting the dirty bandages to dispose of them. I saw Lucanis’s cheeks flush, and I smiled to myself as I left the room to avoid embarrassing him further. I was sure the last thing he wanted was for me to see him indecent and turned on.

❈❈❈

Lucanis pinched the bridge of his nose, looking up at the dancing reflections of water on the ceiling. It was bad enough that he had awoken half naked in a place of his nightmares. But then a complete one-eighty occurred, and he had the woman of his dreams kneeling in front of him with those mismatched eyes and warm smile.

Spite had brought him here, of course he had. And Kalais had just taken care of him like it didn’t take a second thought. And the things she said, mierda, he wished she would stop trailing him like a moth to a flame. It was dangerous, and it wouldn’t end well for either of them. Spite was Lucanis’s only future. To hope for anything else was futile.

Of course that didn’t stop all blood from running southward when she hinted at something more. Something unattainable, something beyond his imagination. Something impossible, and yet all too good for him anyway.

“She. Wants. You!” Spite growled in his ear. “We want. To taste her!” 

“Enough, Spite,” Lucanis said, standing and buttoning his pants. He didn’t look at the demon. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“We. Want. Rook! Why?” he questioned.

Lucanis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why you want Rook. Possibly because she’s the only one who’s kind to you, though I can’t figure out why,” he muttered.

“No! You want her,” he said. “Her touch. Soft. Her hair silk. Her breath warm! Her lips. What do they taste like?”

“Enough!” He snapped. “She is not ours to have.”

❈❈❈

We all met around the fire in the dining hall. I filled everyone in on what Solas had said.

“So this elven god thinks we need a dragon hunter and a Fade expert?” Lucanis asked.

“He’s right about the dragon hunter, at least,” Harding said. “The Shadow Dragons did all the could. The dragon was just too much.” I frowned, staring into the fire. “The moment the dust settled? The Venatori rushed in. Guess they knew it was coming.”

My chest suddenly felt tight again.

“Neve’s staying for now. She said she’ll be back soon, but… At least you took care of yours,” Harding said to me.

“We hurt it, but didn’t kill it. The dragon flew off before we could put it down,” I said.

“Treviso could have used a dragon hunter. That much is true,” Lucanis said.

“Don’t remind me. Fewer people injured, and we wouldn’t have to worry about it coming back.” My brow furrowed, and I crossed my arms over my stomach.

“We shouldn’t forget about Minrathous, either. We need to do what we can to help. Though there’s no telling how long Neve will be helping the Shadow Dragons…” Lucanis added.

“Hey, let’s not get stuck in our regrets, all right?” Varric came hobbling over.

“Hang on a minute,” Davrin interrupted. “Not only have you retained the services of a demon assassin, you’re also taking advice from the elven god who attempted to tear down the Veil.”

“Spite is my problem,” Lucanis said defensively.

“That’s what they always say,” Davrin retorted. “Rook, Lucanis is one thing, but do you really trust this Solas?” He asked.

“Trust is such a strong word, you know?”

“So you don’t trust him.”

“Ehhh.”

“All right then.”

Harding said she would ask around about Dragon Hunters, and Bellara said she would get a message through to a Fade expert immediately.

“See, Rook? Nothing to worry about,” Varric said.

“All right. We all know what to do. Let’s get going,” I said to dismiss them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list

Have a good day/night!

Tagged: @colombia-chan @bleummie

[ghostlymakercat]

Part 2

The night was a blur for both boys sitting at the end of the hall, Regulus was kind of numb to all of it focusing all of his attention on the door his brother was behind. He was partially aware that someone(Fleamont) placed tea and something to eat before him, but food was literally the last thing on his mind at the moment.

Effie still wouldn't allow them to see Sirius, and Regulus couldn't help himself but resent her a bit for it- he knew that none of it was her fault, but his hands were shaking with nerves and he just couldn't stop thinking. He must have fallen asleep at some point( he felt guilty afterwards), because when he woke up Jam-Potter was nowhere in sight. He tried to ignore tingling in his side where he was pressed against the older boy.

Potter had to write to Remus at some point of the night and Lupin sure weren't taking his time, showing up five minutes after the owl was sent. Regulus heard Potter and Lupin talking in hushed voices, every word laced in worry, Regulus felt bad for them, he couldn't even imagine the panic that would take over his brother if Remus got hurt, in any way. They were two souls in one body, they belonged with eachother, not on the opposite side of a wall.

He remembered how concerned he felt when Sirius came to him about his feelings for the Welsh boy, he was worried- he didn't want his brother to get hurt...again, but there was nothing to worry about really they are so sweet, so gentle with eachother. He couldn't imagine better person for his brother, Remus may look intimidating at first but really he's so respectful with anyone, so patient and calm and he contrasts Sirius so well, Sirius was loud and fill of energy and Remus... He was so calm and kind, willing to wait.

He wished to comfort the taller one but weren't quite sure... How, he didn't know how to comfort anyone, but he had to do something, Remus looked devastated and so closed into himself, he wished to get him out of his head. Potter sat on the other side of the youngest, all of them sitting in silence, drowning in their thoughts. And Regulus knew how scary could your thoughts be, could get. And really that was the last thing any of them needed.

So he started talking: "when we were little- he paused to get his breathing under check "well... Eh we didn't have had much toys, with all the ' You will not disregard this family with this nonsense' stuff. I'm- i'm pretty sure Sirius grew up without any toys well at least until i came along. He, he made me little teddy bears- sew them from his old clothes. I've kept the first one he ever made me."

"what is the name?" He got startled from his memories by Remus. He didn't know how, but somehow he forgot that they were there with him.

" Nara"

[dullgecko]

Ok, since you said this is how we play I'll try It, how does Riz react when he learns he's Friends are alive? I guess he feels relive, that means he hasn't got them kill but at the same time why haven't they revivem him?

Yeah baby! Play the game get a prize (the prize is more words)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

There was something to be said about being dead, Riz certainly didn’t feel himself getting tired anymore beyond the general brain fatigue of reading through records for hours on end. Bytopia almost rivalled the nine hells when it came to bureaucracy but the rogue considered himself an expert after helping Fig claim ownership of the bottomless pit. A little angelic paperwork wasn’t going to stop him even if he felt like he was going a cross-eyed from reading through rulebooks and forms.

Once Pok had shown him to the record room, a vast almost endless plain of bookshelves that stretched to the horizon hidden behind an unassuming door in the fields of Elysium, he’d been called away to deal with a problem for the LPRTF. Riz getting left behind to find the information he needed with only what little guidance his father could give him in the few seconds he had spare before sprinting out of the room.

This was fine. Riz was his party’s research guy. If there was something here to find he would find it that was guaranteed. First and foremost? Making sure his party was okay. It took him a couple of hours to track down everyone’s files, the goblin feeling relieved when he checked and found that each of them was still okay and alive in turn. Each of their records was a detailed account of their entire lives, the pages in the ‘future’ were written but even looking at them made his head spin and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. He absently wondered if maybe Adaine would be able to see what was written there given she was the oracle, but the better question would be whether she wanted to read it.

He didn’t want to violate his friend’s privacy too badly though, even though he was very tempted to take a quick peek at their childhoods, only quickly checking their status was listed as ‘alive’ on their files before placing them back where he found them. Checking his own records should be fine though right?

Finding his own records was a lot harder, mostly because they were stored separately from those still on the Prime Material, and when he found it it was almost triple the size of his friends. Reams of paperwork regarding his employment with the LPRTF enclosed between the covers of the folder making it much thicker. He carefully started pulling out and reading through the bundles of paperwork, mostly just curious if there was any information that could be gleaned there but his brows ended up knitting together in confusion. The goblin tucking the folder under his arm as he went to find a reference book to double check everything was filed correctly because he had a niggling feeling still that something was off about his current life-status.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Time, when you’re dead, can get a little bit weird. You don’t need to sleep or eat (even though you can if you really want to) so the normal methods Riz tended to use to track the progression of time were completely absent. Because of this it had been nearly five days after entering that he finally stumbled back out of the records room, clutching his own file and a reference book in one hand and a slightly crumpled wad of paperwork in the other, and at least three files with his tail. The goblin looking a mix between completely and totally manic and gleeful as he stumbled over to the nearest agents desk and slammed the paperwork down in front of them.

“I should NOT be dead. Where’s Agent Gukgak?”

“He is, um, out? Some trouble in the Nine Hells.” The gnoll who’s desk he’d slammed the paperwork onto looked surprised, hyena ears flicking as they glanced between the face of the slightly unhinged looking goblin and the paperwork pinned under his hand.

“Oh okay, cool, never mind I’ll just talk to you then. I shouldn’t be dead.”

“You said… but I’m going to assume you’re going to explain why?”

They knew this was Pok’s kid, everyone in the LPRTF knew who he was and when word came in that he’d ascended at only seventeen they’d felt awful for him. Their wonderfully talented part time lower planar consultant suddenly promoted to full-time agent before he was even legally an adult? Incredibly sad, but there was little they could do about it other than help him through the first few stages of realising your ticket had been punched permanently. He looked WELL and truly into the denial phase right now.

“Yes. Okay, look. I found my file and all my employment paperwork and stuff.” Riz juggled his armful of papers, dumping them onto a clear spot on the gnoll agents desk and flipping open the reference book to the pages he’d marked. “You guys had permission to fast track me to ascended soul when I died and lock in my employment. This form.”

“Sure did honey, didn’t want you having to spend weeks in limbo while we processed everything so it was pre-filled for you.”

“Cool, alright, you know what I’m talking about then.” He shuffled through the pages until he found the one he was looking for. “It’s filled in WRONG. You’ve got it listed as ‘on the event of my death’.”

“Yes dear.”

“No you don’t get it. It’s been filed as ‘on the event of my next death’ not ‘permanent death’. They filled in this bit of paperwork wrong. I’m an adventurer we die all the time but our cleric usually brings us back.” He jabbed at the page, juggling another file onto her desk from the stack he was holding with his tail. “This is my friend Kristens file, she’s my party cleric, she tried to resurrect me within fifteen seconds of my dying but you guys had already locked me in to becoming an ascended soul working here. You stopped me from being resurrected with the protections that stop agents being summonable to other planes without prior approval. She totally could have brought me back.”

“That’s not-“ The gnoll agent blinked, pulling the page Riz was jabbing at closer and reaching over to grab the reference book as well. The agent flipping through a few pages before smoothing out the slightly crumpled page Riz had been clutching, their eyes going wide with realisation. “-oh… oh dear. Well… you’re not wrong.”

“So we need to fix it.” Riz reached behind himself to grab the other files he’d been holding in his tail and stack them neatly on the desk, wings relaxing out of their outstretched position to fold comfortably behind his back as he calmed down.

“Well, we can fix it but you’re still dead kiddo. This is a huge fuck up on our part but we can’t just… zap you back into your old body. Literally all it will do is change the wording on this form to be ‘permanent death’… and it’s been nearly seven days since you died.” They dug a pen out of their desk drawer, waving it over the piece of paper and instantly fixing the wording in front of Riz before placing it back in his file still sitting on their desk.

“Yeah but they could still bring me back. Kristen could try Raise Dead that’s got a ten day time limit.” Riz flicked his tail, drumming his fingers on the edge of the desk.

“Not really? You’re already an ascended soul and like you said, they can’t summon you to a lower plane without permission.”

“So? Just get me to a lower plane? Fig is the mistress of the Bottomless Pit they can just resurrect me there.”

The gnoll agent winced, having to look away when the rogue dropped his ears back and gave them the saddest look they’d ever seen. Holding their hand up to block their view of his face when he purposefully dilated his eyes to make them look bigger. “No, stop that. We could try but the process for approving getting an agent to the lower planes can take days.”

There was a blinding flash of light off to their left that made Riz drop the ‘sad goblin’ expression and stand back up straight, ears flicking into an expression of mild confusion as Pok was left behind in the wake of the beam of light. The older goblins hair smoking slightly and smelling heavily of sulphur as he glanced around the field and zero’d in on his son.

“Hey sport. Feeling better? Find what you needed to find?”

“Yeah. Paperwork was wrong. I shouldn’t be dead.”

Pok blinked, glancing at the gnoll agent who just nodded and shrugged in answer to his silent question. “Oh. Alright then. Glad to hear it. You might want to come with me then.”

Riz ruffled his wings and trot over to take Poks hand when it was offered, his father leading him away from the field full of desks until they were barely visible in the distance. The rogue just making a confused noise before reaching out to dust some of the soot off his dads back while they walked.

“Where have you been?”

“Just a few problems on the lower planes, I had them teleport me back here when I realised where the problem was headed.” He laughed, leading Riz up and over a hill that looked down into a different field of Elysium below them. A jagged tear splitting the landscape like someone had ripped a hole in a piece of paper, the bow of an unfamiliar ship jammed through the crack and allowing several demons to spill into Bytopia unimpeded.

All Riz could really do was stand there in shock as several figures clambered their way out of the ship to the ground, one of them stabbing one of the demons that launched themselves off the ship after them and putting them down in one attack. The figure turning to point their sword at the nearest celestial trying to fight back the incursion in order to ask them a question.

“YOU! Where the FUCK is Riz Gukgak?” Fabian slashed at another of the demons as they tumbled off the ship, giving it a swift kick to knock it back through the rift.

“Oh. Wait are my party the problem or are they helping you with a different one?”

“Bit of both.” Pok laughed, ruffling Riz’s hair after letting go of his hand. “The demons were trying to invade anyway they just hitched a ride on their ship to help fight them back… and probably come to fetch you.”

“Well… saves me a trip to the lower planes for a resurrection since I got my paperwork sorted.”

“I was a bit worried we’d have to fight your friends off too if they tried to take you but it looks like you sorted out the nitty gritty on your own… Good job.” Pok held his arms out, grunting a little when Riz threw himself at him for a hug before glancing back down at his friends fighting below.

“I’m going to go help… and hopefully get revived. Thanks dad.”

“No problem Riz. Just… make sure you don’t come visit again for a long while?... at least outside of normal consultant stuff at least.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Fighting back the incursion had been tough without his weapons but at least he still had claws and teeth that he could fight back with. When the last demon fled back through the rift Riz was left exhausted, covered in gore and with a newfound appreciation for his wings which gave him a bit of an edge when it came to getting into a good position to rip out taller creatures throats.

He was only able to bask in the satisfaction of a fight well fought for all of six seconds though, Fabian dropping Fandrangor to the ground as he scooped the goblin up in a hug that could crush ribs. Riz happily throwing his arms around his neck and hugging back with just as much enthusiasm.

“What the fuck Riz, I take a nap for three hours and you go and get yourself killed? Ridiculous.” The half elf huffed, smoothing his hands along Riz’s back and tucking him more securely against his front as he turned to convene with the rest of their party.

“Sorry. It was an accident. Would have been fine if someone hadn’t fucked up my paperwork up here.” Riz purred happily, not caring that he was getting Fabian covered in demon ichor as he was hauled over to Kristen. Their cleric elbow deep in his briefcase as she pulled out a blanket wrapped bundle and placed it gently on the floor. Unwrapping it just enough that it wasn’t so tightly bound but keeping the sheet draped over the top so he wasn’t visible underneath.

“Oh… that’s my corpse. That is… deeply unsettling.” Riz winced, glad that he couldn’t really see past the sheet that had been left draped over his body. Seeing his own seven-day rotting remains would not be good for his psyche.

“NOT going to be a corpse in a minute.” Kristen reached over to pat his head when Fabian sat down next to her, their cleric reaching into her pocket with her other hand to withdraw a massive purse full of diamonds and slam it on the ground next to the head of the body before her.

“I am going to do this until it FUCKING STICKS this time. OKAY. Riz Gukgak. You are currently available and willing to be resurrected yes?”

“Yeah?”

“Good. Fair warning, this is going to take a while and you are going to feel like shit afterwards. Raise dead is going to leave you exhausted for a while afterwards.”

Kristen reached into the bag for a diamond with one hand, holding it up as she touched Riz’s body with her staff and started the spell. As soon as the staff touched his chest Riz felt something tug at the core of his being. He didn’t resist, letting his consciousness blank out and following the pull as everything went black for what felt like a few seconds.

Riz had to admit, when he next opened his eyes, that Kristen was not lying about how awful he would feel upon being resurrected. The goblin groaning and throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the light because everything hurt. He assumed it had worked though, not just because of the sheer exhaustion he was feeling right now but also because of the delighted exclamations of his teammates around him. The goblin huffing tiredly flicking his tail when Fabian picked him up again and held him against his front, Riz dropping his head onto his shoulder and making an unhappy hissing noise at the movement.

“Uuuuugh fuck. Ow? You weren’t kidding. How long will this take to go away?”

“Four long rests. Sorry.” Kristen pat his back soothingly, Riz absently noting that he didn’t have wings there any more and feeling a little sad for their loss. Oh well.

“Gods. Okay that’s going to suck.” He yawned, squinting his eyes open to blink at the ship still lodged in the dimensional tear behind them. “Speaking of sucking… did any of you tell my mom that I died or is that something I’m going to have to do when we get home?”

“Oh fuck… sorry dude we totally forgot.”

[pepperf]

Pop quiz, hotshots! Which would you rather have:

A relationship that, when it goes wrong, you can tell the other person that you need a break to reassess your relationship, and they will discuss this calmly, let you go, and then go away and think about what you said, agree that they were in the wrong, and start working on ways to fix their own behaviour;

OR

A relationship that, when you want to leave, they tell you that you don't really want to go, that you're happier with them, that you should isolate yourself from your family and friends so you can stay with them - and when you disagree and tell them the relationship is just a matter of necessity, they start in on your other relationship (which they have apparently decided is the reason you're going back, despite you making no mention of it), telling you that it's broken, that you shouldn't go back to him - and when you tell them to butt out of your personal business, they tell you they're entitled to have an opinion because you've been stranded alone together for a long time...

Is that or is that not what happened? Because I remember Lila making herself pretty clear on these points, but apparently a bunch of people think we should disregard a woman's expressed opinion about her own life, and go with what she's being told. Because Five knows best, amirite? Gosh he's so smart and clever! And he deserves this - he deserves Lila, no matter what Lila herself says. He's owed it by the universe, because he had a bad life.

Lila did have another relationship like that, where she was told what to do, kept in the dark, told that the other person knew what was best for her...and it wasn't Diego.

[bilestat]

post a poll with five favorite characters and let others decide which is their favorite

tagged by @spookylestat

i’m too lazy to tag anyone, so anyone who wants to do it feel free to say i tagged you 🩷

[acebytaemin]

the way my boss pulled me away and told me ‘okay stupid question but. what are you afraid of? you always do everything so well so what are you afraid of?’ and it was so funny i was like i didn’t know he knew me like that. also damn it’s imposter syndrome not like i can help it !!!!!

[museofvoid-art]

shoutout to the mangle, gotta be one of my favorite genders

[tswwwit]

Could we get a taste of that new work you started…👀

Heck, have the whole thing! This is for that AU of an AU where Ford captured Bill/Bill was his familiar, and Dipper freed him, like an idiot. Here's the first fic and here's some needed backstory.

---------------------------------------

Dipper leans over to let his fingers trail through the water. It’s oddly warm to the touch. Bill’s voice carries, weird and echoing, over the river and through the empty city.

Which Dipper’s ignoring, for the moment.

Not like he’s missing much; he can't understand the lyrics anyway. Bill’s demonic singing continues over his inattention. 

This dream is distinctly… not a good one. On the surface, at least; Dipper’s not terrified, but only because of his company.

He also might be a little jaded at this point.

Truth be told, he’s visited a lot of dreams at this point. They’re Bill’s go-to meetup spots. Though Dipper hasn’t really been the biggest fan, so far, he’s never been in any danger. That he knows of. Bill’s made sure of that.

Bringing Dipper to a dream that lacks his idea of 'pizazz', or gore, or immediately evident monsters is a new tactic - but at least it’s not a bad one.

It’s eerie, for sure. The silence beyond Bill’s yodeling adds an extra layer of ‘creepy’ - but the boat is nice, the company’s familiar. Even the water’s warm against the tips of his fingers, leaving clean, bright lines in the river -

Dipper yanks his arm back with a start, and he shakes the water off rapidly. Some of the red drops leave spots on his shirt and pants.. 

The broken surface of the water bleeds bright red. Like wounded flesh.

Dipper grimaces. He’d back up, but there’s no space in the gondola.

And - as a bonus - it looks like it’s attracting more glimpses of half-formed shadows. Of course. Dipper can only catch them out of the corners of his eye - dim, too-lanky shapes he never fully sees through the fog in the alleyways - but maybe it’s best to ignore those, too.

Still not a bad dream, necessarily. Things could be way worse.

But like everything to do with Bill, it’s unnerving. With a side of ‘constantly feeling you're being watched’. 

“Ahem,” Said triangle clears a nonexistent throat. Bill thumps the stick on the bottom of the river, the one he’s been using to guide them along the city canals. “Hello! Listen up, sapling, I’m serenading here.” 

Dipper shuffles around until he finds a shaky seat back in the gondola. Bill doesn’t bother. He doesn’t have to worry about balance, with his floating in midair thing. 

“This is… interesting.” Dipper says. Bill brightens up, lower eyelid rising. So that’s a start - but he’s not sure how to follow it. He tucks his arms around his legs instead. “Why are we-”

“Vide stellas quae tremunt!” Bill continues his song without any notice of the question. Dipper tries waving at him, but he’s already closed his eye.. “Amoris et spei!”

No explanation, then. Dipper rolls his eyes.

God forbid Bill not have attention on him for ten seconds.

“I sense,” Bill says, tapping under his eye thoughtfully. “That you might not be appreciating this, kid.” Said eye rolls in its golden socket. “Why am I not surprised!”

At Dipper’s shrug, Bill grumbles something under his breath, and pushes the gondola along. Silent, for a moment.

Dipper shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Absent the music, this place is extremely eerie. There’s a light fog on the canals, and he doesn’t dare look into the alleys.

In a way, he understands why Bill’s like this. Needing company. Demanding attention. Being demanding is part and parcel of his demonic nature, and he was also stuck in a prison for thirty freakin’ years. That alone would make someone deranged. 

Bill was just insane even before that.

Thankfully, irrepressible as always, Bill starts humming some other tune. Dipper’s glad he started again; he must be in a better mood. Bill’s huge eye narrows slightly in contemplation.

Then he lets out a low, self-satisfied cackle, and rubs two hands together. A third arm keeps steering the boat.

Dipper rolls his own eyes. 

Yeah, this is definitely going to pan out like Bill expects. Because everything Bill’s done has worked out great for him.

Bill said he had plans for Dipper, but he’s taking his sweet time getting to them. It barely seems like there is one, most nights.

Whatever he’s after, it might work better if he focused on his goal.

Instead, he’s making Dipper focus on him.

Every time they’ve met up - and it’s been months - Bill’s clearly making some kind of effort. He’s hinted at a deeper truth, dozens of times. He taunts, and he talks, and even teaches on a whim. His methods are obscure and bizarre, they seem out of place - but Dipper gets the sense that Bill genuinely thinks it’s important. 

He must really be distracted by his ego, because so far? His ‘plan’ doesn't seem all that sinister. It’s like he’s barely started it, or it’s genuinely not-terrible - which is why Dipper willingly joins Bill in his dreams. 

Okay. That, plus a certain amount of sheer, idiotic curiosity. Dipper’s not perfect. 

But he knows Bill’s trying to show him something. 

Maybe if Dipper got it - whatever ‘it’ is -  then he’d be able to thwart the plan. But until he finally gets it, or it comes to fruition or… Until something really evil happens, he guesses, then they’re just going to keep… 

Meeting up? Hanging out? Dipper’s not sure which phrase fits right. 

Judging by how it’s gone so far, that ‘until’ might be a while. 

So long as Bill’s just reveling in attention, though - there’s no reason to stop him screwing himself over. Freedom seems like a big deal to him, and if the last few months are any indication? He’s been enjoying it immensely.

Feeding Bill’s ego a little can’t hurt, and it’s. Not bad, really.

Dipper just. Doesn’t have a lot of people to talk with who aren’t family, and Bill’s always up for a conversation. Even if it mostly devolves into bickering about stupid things, and Bill’s awful, awful jokes -  Dipper’s finding he doesn’t mind that much. Bill’s quick-witted, weirdly charming for a person who’s a shape, and his magical knowledge has a depth that’s breathtaking. Even if it comes in an annoying golden package.

Whatever works, works, though. As long as Bill’s eager to hang out, then Dipper might as well indulge him.

After all, Bill could be up to worse things than bothering Dipper. And when it comes right down to it - he’s kind of fun. In an insane, demonic way. 

Dipper’s still cautious. He’d be an idiot not to be. 

But so far, Bill’s keeping his word. 

Come to think of it, the plan must be one of the reasons Bill’s still here, in this dream. He’s making sure this isn’t a nightmare, while he tries to convey his… something. Possibly in a manner that won’t completely chase Dipper off. But if he can figure it out, before Bill manages to be super evil - 

Dipper tucks his arms around himself tighter in the chill of the fog. He shakes his head to clear it. 

This is novel, and interesting - 

And very, very dangerous. 

He’s got to stay wary. Reminding himself that Bill is absolutely insane.

“What, you chilly or something?” Bill sets fists on his angles. He was humming for a while, but now he looks curious. He even floats in a bit, while the stick keeps steering the gondola without a pilot. “This is what you get for having a crappy endothermic system.”

“Shut up.” Dipper tucks his legs together too. The temperature, if anything, seems to have dropped by a few more degrees. “Didn’t you make this dream? Can’t you control the-”

“Ahem. Unlike some amateurs, I know how to set the atmosphere.” Bill shuts his eye, somehow managing to look self-assured without a face. He wags a chiding finger at Dipper, floating close enough to flick his nose. “You wanna keep your empty nightmares on refrigerator settings. Fits the whole ‘eternally preserved’ theme.”

“And how does singing bad opera fit the ‘theme’?“ Dipper smacks Bill on the side. Dumb move, it only hurts his fingers - though Bill's not cold, like the air. It makes him pause. “...Hey. That wasn’t in Italian.”

“When in Rome, speak as the Romans do! And they were chatting in Latin before your forebears had forebears.” Bill shrugs, nonchalant. “It's the source of Romance languages!”

A minor detail. One Bill’s using to avoid the question - and he only resorts to being a pedant when he’s caught. 

Dipper narrows his eyes -

Then seizes the opportunity.

And the triangle. 

As Bill thuds against Dipper's chest, he wraps his arms around him tight. Bill flails a bit, muttering something impossibly muffled against Dipper's chest. How does that happen, he doesn't even have a mouth. Dipper decides to ignore the impossible, yet again. Squeezing Bill a little harder, like he could crumple him like tinfoil. Knowing that he won't.

Man Bill’s warm; radiating off him like a personal, annoying space heater. Dipper can already feel the sensation returning to his fingers, gripped tight on Bill's edges.

And frowns. “Wait. I thought this was supposed to be nightmare Venice, not Rome.”

“Cripes, what a pedant.” Bill groans, the hypocrite. Dipper can’t see his eye - he’s rotated it around to face forward - but he’s sure he’s rolling it as well. He floats lower in Dipper’s lap, and one raised finger jabs the soft underside of Dipper’s jaw. “I bet you’re a real hit at parties. I couldn’t take you anywhere!”

Bullshit, Bill’s arrogant enough to take anyone anywhere, and be smug about it. 

And if he’s trying to pretend he’s not in a good mood, maybe he should stop glowing so bright.

Dipper squeezes him a little tighter. Bill’s been caught, he can’t escape - and while he hasn’t totally settled down, he’s letting his legs dangle over Dipper’s and only kicked him once. It was barely a tap.

“I get it. You’ve never spent much time in Italy.” And Dipper smiles. This’ll get to him. “Bill Cipher claims to be the dream demon extraordinaire - but he never managed to bother a Pope.”

The sharp, indignant noise Bill makes is so, so sweet. Dipper jostles the top hat with his cheek, just to bug him more, and listens to the ensuing weird burble with a grin.

In the end, Dipper gets a thoroughly informative rant about the intricacies of both Italy and Rome and parts of an empire that he’s pretty sure never existed. Bill’s alight with indignance - and amusement. Possibly at his own bullshit.

Dipper really, really wishes he had a notebook with him. 

Talking with Bill is always fascinating, and infuriating. Half of this has to be bullshit. Some of it might be true. Dipper… should really check out more history books. Maybe then he’d have more chances to call out Bill’s bullshit, with facts. For the moment, questioning him on every aspect pokes enough holes to help sort out the fiction.

It’s an easy conversation, and a long one. Bickering with Bill takes ages, makes Dipper struggle for words, he’s usually a little annoyed - and it’s oddly pleasant. In that Dipper doesn’t have to be pleasant. Or even nice. Bill absorbs it all with infinite confidence, and shoots back with pointed ripostes. 

“-And that’s why garum was crappy, and ya shouldn’t miss it.” Bill finishes. He pats Dipper’s arm twice, and, reluctantly, is released. He floats up above the gondola as it drifts, slowly towards a dock. “But I think we’re getting off topic.”

“How? We-” Always argue, Dipper was about to say. That was before he stood up; now he’s thinking better of it. “Shit.”

He tries to balance as the gondola shakes; some of the blood-water laps over the sides. Crap, arguing with Bill is one thing, but he didn’t want to literally rock the boat. 

Bill floats up further, watching the sloshing - and starts laughing. 

Dipper glares, but the stupid tiny canoelike thing is shaking under him, he grips the sides. Since they’re next to the dock, he smacks a palm on it. It steadies things, barely.

“Pfft, loser.” Bill’s lower eyelid is raised in amusement. He watches Dipper struggle for another moment - then laughs harder, before holding out a hand. “C’mon already!” 

Dipper takes the offer, absurdly grateful. Bill’s hand is very warm, like the rest of him.The black void of the not-flesh is a strange non-texture under his palm, steadying him before he falls. Dipper fumbles for a moment before holding onto it tight. Even though the boat is about to capsize, Bill’s got him. 

Bill brightens up and squeezes his hand back. Not hard, surprisingly, maybe a little teasingly, and it makes something flip around inside Dipper’s chest.

Bill hauls Dipper bodily up onto the dock, with surprising strength and a cackling laugh. Dipper feels a quick slap just above his hip as he briefly stumbles. 

Crap, that was fast. He almost backpedaled into the canal again from sheer surprise - but his grip on Bill means he only lent back for a moment.

Bill, the asshole, thinks it was amazingly funny. He’s leaning forward, another sixty degree angle in the air.

Dipper flips him off, heart racing fast. He wonders how Bill managed - but, right. He’s a demon, of course. Physics don’t matter. Those weird, noodlelike arms defy them on the daily.

One of said arms prods Dipper in the stomach. “Man, kid, talk about clumsy!” Bill’s still chuckling. His surface flickers with amusement, eyelid raised in a smile. “I shoulda let you go for a dunk!” Then a thoughtful rub under the single, narrowed eye. “Though I do like you less dissolved. At the moment.”

Dipper narrows his eyes. His valiant attempt to crush Bill’s hand in his own fails at the complete lack of bones inside.

Bill’s insane and weird and clever. He’s the strangest being Dipper’s ever met - but whatever his motives are? It’s - so far - been fine.

Dipper’s not dunked. Or dissolved. Hell, if anything, he should always be more terrified. With what Bill does. With what Bill is.

Best of all, that wasn’t a handshake. Even though Bill’s still holding on, it’s not in the right position for one. Interlaced fingers don’t count, he’s sure.

Dipper struggles at the touch, and gets his hand back, eventually. He wipes it on his pants, trying to shake off the thought.

It definitely wasn’t a shake, because they didn’t make a deal. If they had, Bill would be gloating about it. Dipper can put that single heartstopping moment behind him.

He’s still thinking about it as Bill leads him through the city. The conversation is mostly Bill rambling, their usual light bickering. 

Dipper may be wandering around a nightmare, but with his palm flat on the warm surface of Bill’s back, at least he knows nothing else is going to freak him out. Bill would get huffy about not being the center of attention.

“So whatd’ya think of the main dream? Took the blueprint off a guy with agoraphobia.” Bill tugs one one of the passing door handles - which doesn’t move. When Dipper looks closer, it’s literally painted on. “No indoors, anywhere!”

“It’s kind of…” Dipper thinks about it. Nearly silent streets, cold and misty. Even if Bill wasn’t here, it’d be… “Empty.”

“Uh, duh, that’s the point.”

“No, I mean,” Dipper scrunches his face up, trying to think of - he isn’t much for horror movies, but exposure to Bill has shown him enough. “There’s no ominous signs of who was here, either. Like, I’d think there would be… half-eaten meals on the cafe tables, or, like.” He snaps his fingers, trying to think of remnants - “A single, empty child’s shoe.”

"Oh, very nice! I like how you think, sapling.” Bill taps Dipper’s temple, twice, before patting his cheek. Dipper leans away before he can pinch it.  “Even if it’s not your thing, you always got something going on in that bonebox, don’tcha?”

Dipper just shrugs. He can’t not think. A dream demon liking what he does think is… morally questionable. 

And, maybe, kind of neat.

“We don’t see enough of each other these days. A few hours at a time is nothing.” Bill continues, waving over the scenery. “Not that I’m not a fan of you letting me whisk ya off  in your dreams - but what about reality?”

“Nope.” Dipper drops his arm, folding both of them over his chest. “Not happening.”

Freeing Bill was…. Arguably morally gray. Dipper doesn’t regret it, but Bill is an asshole, and Ford was convincing. The main advantage of Bill’s freedom came with their deal, Bill was in a terrible position to bargain.

The second best part is not having Bill on Earth anymore. He’s still dangerous, but not immediately so. 

To reality. No so much for people hanging out with him. 

“C’mon, kid. We’d have way more time together when you aren’t conked out!” Bill sidles closer. One thin arm wraps a couple times around Dipper’s waist, while the other waves broadly over the scenery. “A full Europe trip, just for two.” A brief pause. “Not that you’d get this kinda quality in your mundane version of that continent, but whatever.”

“If you say so.” Dipper hedges, that sound extremely subjective. Bill blinks at him with genuine surprise; it makes Dipper fidget for a second “I haven’t been out of Gravity Falls in-” Hell. When was the last time he went back to Piedmont. Or anywhere else. “...It’s been a while.”

Bill takes another second to stare. Then sighs. His enormous eye rolls around and around in its socket, in yet another exaggeration. 

“Well, think about it, kid. One of these days, we’ll get to it. Me and you, on Earth!” Bill prods him firmly in the chest, eyelid raised in a smile. “We could take a long stroll through the streets, check out a couple cafes, crush a couple local governments- Then teleport over to a boulangerie for pastries! It’d be a great time!”

Insisting on reality. Again. Dipper holds back a sigh. 

Letting Bill into the world - even with the compromises Dipper managed, is a horrible idea. 

But right now Bill’s off in his own little world - literally, in a way - and that concept isn’t one he’s going to accept. Not the tactic to take to argue against it.

“I guess it’s a nice thought. Or fantasy, anyway.” Dipper pats Bill twice on the edge. “You’d stand out a little too much.”

Even Dipper needed a couple weeks before he got used to Bill. He’s a giant demonic triangle made of maybe-gold. Bill Cipher, in reality, would send pretty much everyone screaming, or reeling in horrified awe. 

Probably, Bill would love that. Right up until it meant no cafe service.

“Yeah, yeah, most humans have no taste. Doesn’t mean it’d ruin the occasion!” Bill wags a chiding finger. His arm slips from its loop around Dipper so he can rest a fist on his edge. “What’d’ya think shapeshifting’s for?”

“For wha-” Dipper starts - then jerking back, as Bill’s form changes. 

Dipper turns his head away, shielding his eyes against the bright light. And grimacing.

This demonic drama queen. The light isn't typical for his changes, he’s doing it for show. Whatever Bill’s turning into, he hopes this shape won’t have too many limbs, or infinite teeth - or  worse, pick him up again - 

Trying to smack Bill is always an option, though. Especially when he’s trying to be dramatic. Dipper lands the punch easily, operating on muscle memory -

Into something warm. And firm - but much softer than gold.

Bill starts chuckling. There’s a slow, rhythmic motion under Dipper’s knuckles.

Already, it’s far from the worst Dipper’s had to deal with. Bill’s not on fire, or scaled, and there’s no huge tongues licking out between his tiers. He’s not even slimy this time, though certainly more…. organic. 

Dipper opens his mouth to tell Bill off, blinking rapidly - 

“So! What’d’ya think, sapling?” Bill’s grin is wide and white and close. Too close, his sudden surge in makes Dipper lean back on instinct. “Ya like the look?”

Dipper stares.

“Eh?” Bill prompts again. Now he’s wiggling his eyebrows.When he doesn’t get a response - he sticks out a tongue - a pink, human tongue, Dipper watches it flick back in. “Where’s the insult?”

Right. New shape. Bill… wants feedback, something to stroke his immense ego. Dipper should….  

Say something. Probably.

He looks again at that face. A human face. Bill’s standing there, intimidating; he has eyebrows and a nose and white teeth in a wide smile on this - Dipper looks down, then slowly up again - human form, leaning over him.

“Um,” Dipper says, eloquently. He does another once over, lacking for words, until he meets that single golden eye. And swallows, once. “...Hi.”

“Not too shabby, if I do say so myself,” Bill continues.  He adjusts the collar of his shirt, smoothing back his hair - then digging a finger into his fleshy cheek, and twisting it. “I think it’s a pretty accurate translation!”

Dipper nods. He opens his hand by fractions, until his palm rests flat on Bill’s chest, then thinks better and grips the shirt instead.

Okay. This. Is a new one. 

Bill’s face - he has a face - is all angles, with a pleased, smug, too-wide grin. He thankfully still has only one eye, otherwise Dipper wouldn’t know where to stare - and he's very much up in Dipper’s personal space. Warmth still radiates off him, just like before.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Bill says dryly. He grasps Dipper's side, just near his hip. His hand is bigger now, and - and Dipper shakes his head to clear it.  “So! You and me, strolling through the city-”

Bill rambles on, per usual. The familiarity is steadying. Dipper squinches his eyes shut - then blinks, but nope. The scenery hasn’t changed.

This is. Normal. For Bill. Because this is Bill, showing off again. They can move on. 

Will move on, because Bill’s looking like he wants to continue their walk. Dipper should. Follow him. That’s the right thing to do.

The first step is turning away. Easily done, if he stops gripping Bill’s shirt so tight. Forcing himself to loosen his hold works - but now he’s touching Bill’s chest again, and that isn’t great. Though it’s very solid, like Bill - because it is Bill, in a different shape, he needs to remember that. The shirt is soft, though when he strokes it. Maybe silk? Dipper -

Should stop touching it, what the hell.

Bill keeps rambling, arm warm against Dipper’s back. Dipper nods out of habit, stepping forward as Bill leads them on through the city.

Dipper forces his arms to his sides, holding them rigidly in place. He’s keeping them to himself. Thankfully, Bill doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about that.

Not that anything is, but. It might make things weird if he did think that.

Which means Dipper can relax, if only a bit. Demonic self-absorption has some benefits after all. 

This is only another strange shape Bill’s taken. He’s turned into way weirder ones, for way longer - and for dumber reasons. Whatever prank he’s pulling is - Anyway, it’s only lasted maybe two minutes, it won’t be much longer. If that’s even how long it’s been. 

Come to think of it, how long has Dipper been asleep? Dream time and real time never entirely track, and from this perspective they’ve been hanging out for a few hours. Longer than their typical meetup, since either Bill has ‘business’, or Dipper wakes up. Usually the latter. Eight hours real time is more like two or three in the dream realm - 

…Which might be why Bill complained about it.

Bill keeps commenting on the city. Gesturing around. Possibly describing how conquerable it is, as he guides Dipper along on the midnight nightmare stroll, 

Dipper isn’t sure what, exactly, the current topic is. He isn’t paying much attention. 

He rubs at his forehead. He doesn’t feel much more centered, even with Bill’s arm around his waist again. Still warm, and somehow more solid. Certainly broader.

It also pulls him in and around, until he’s confronted - again - with Bill. His golden eye alight, looking him over skeptically.

“What, is this boring you?”

“I- what? No.” Dipper says. He nearly touches that chest again, and then the arm - but the biceps aren't any better. Technically speaking. He clenches his hands into fists, holding them to his own chest. “...Okay, maybe a little.”

Compared to some random nightmare city, recent developments are much more distracting. 

“Yeesh, tough crowd.” Bill tuts, pulling Dipper in until their sides squish together; Dipper still doesn’t know where to put his hands, he tucks them over his stomach. “See, this is why we gotta get more hangout time!”

Bill’s other arm waves over the dream, and a space in it parts, folding up the rest of the scenery. Like opening a curtain, the city is shoved away to two sides, pleating like in a skirt. 

The space opens into a void full of not-quite-stars.

Dipper leans in closer, and feels Bill’s arm tighten. 

There’s a myriad of images floating in blackness. Things floating through space that’s not space, with a huge pyramid, black and ominous, somewhere in the distance. 

The real heart of the nightmare realm Bill comes from, he’s seen glimpses before - 

The one Ford told him never, ever, ever to take a single step into. 

“You have a point, sapling. And I’ve had it with the tours of these run-of-the mill mental meanderings.” Bill never stops talking. He’s almost proud of it. “Now that I’ve cleared the squatters out, you should come crash at my place!”

Dipper yelps as he’s hauled up - damn it, he should have expected that - and braces himself on Bill’s shoulders. He nearly falls, Bill’s grip shifting, until he clamps his legs around Bill tight.

Not that he would fall - Bill wouldn’t let him - and he’s always been inhumanly, unfairly strong. The arm under his butt and the hand on his back would stop Dipper from escaping, even if he wanted to drop to the cold cobblestone ground.

“Cut it out.” Dipper kicks out from sheer indignance, anyway. Damn it, he knew he should have seen this coming -  and Bill nearly stumbles to keep him in place. “What are you playing at?”

He’s done with this prank. With having to look at that face, with its. Everything. With Bill hauling him around like he’s a pet, damn it, he made that clear long ago, when Bill was still imprisoned. 

Now he wants to bring him to the center of a mess of insanity and nightmares, what the hell is with that.

Maybe Bill can actually drive people insane. Because part of Dipper - the part that keeps saying ‘okay’ to their meetups has already started a horrible, insidious whisper. 

Telling him everything else has been okay. Wondering if it would really be that bad. 

“You clearly don’t care for the the terror atmosphere, kid. I’m fine with ditching it for the moment.” Bill jostles him in place, grinning wider at Dipper’s glare. “I got options! We can set up something else.”

“Like what.” Dipper says, flat. 

“Look. Bribing you, Pine Tree? It's hard,” Bill says, with some chagrin.. “I’ve already given you power - not that you’re using it - and you got the pleasure of my company. You’ve even got some of the secrets of the universe on hand, but you keep dodging chances to hang!” His eye narrows. “What’re you really into?”

“I-” Dipper hesitates. Without a retort prepared, he’s not sure what to say.

“Name it and I’m there, kid. You did me a major favor, we’ve been walking out for a while -  and I’ve been nothing but a gentleman when it comes to us.” He puts a strange emphasis on the word, one eyebrow raised.  “What’s not to like?”

A lot of things, honestly. None of which Dipper can say.

Demon, for one. Dangerous, definitely. Insane, absolutely - and through all of that. Dipper has kept meeting up with Bill, even though he could use any of the dozen wards Ford has tried to foist upon him. 

Bill’s hand is stroking his back, there’s an arm underneath him and it’s weird and - 

God, Dipper wishes Bill wasn’t still in this shape, it’s throwing him off. For a prank, it’s weirdly well constructed, there’s no uncanny valley. Now his mind is racing

Actually, didn’t Bill say it was a translation? 

Like. If Bill was a human, this would be how he looked. Still all angles, in a way. Unnaturally strong, oddly fascinating, and with amusement evident in the sharpness of his smile.

“Good! You’re thinking about it. Lemme know what’s cooking in there.” Bill’s grin is white and wild, a dangerous shape on his face. “I’ll give you anything you want.”

A smile that, now that Dipper looks at it, isn’t all that sharp. If he tugs the corner of the lips with his thumb, Bill makes a face, sticking out his tongue -

With a start, Dipper realizes he’s been staring at Bill’s mouth.

Bill snickers, but doesn’t respond. A slow smile, with his single eye half-lidded, and close enough that Dipper can feel the breath on his face. Dipper’s heart is going triple-time, and Bill’s very very close. 

At some point Dipper wet his lips, involuntarily. He watches as Bill’s eye glimmers, then slowly shuts.

And - 

The blare of the alarm cuts through things like a knife. 

Dipper sits bolt upright in bed. Heart pounding.

For a full ten seconds, he flails at the sheets blindly, surprised - until he remembers where he is, and lets his arms drop.

He stares around his room with out seeing it. Still bleary, blinking slow.

What…?

Dipper sits there for another long moment. The sun isn’t even up, why did he set his alarm so early. He knows why he did it but. Now it seems ridiculous.  

He wanted to make it less than eight hours. To make it cut off before Bill was expecting it. 

Before either of them expected it, this time.

“Shit,” Dipper says. 

He fumbles around for the cup on the bedside table. His mouth is dry, and he needs something to center himself, but he only manages to knock it over.

The memory of the dream - a lucid, very real event - is stuck in the forefront of his brain. Dipper can’t shake it. All of the Bill-dreams have been vivid, but this one is even more so. 

He almost -

Dipper rolls over, sheets tangling around his legs, with the memory searing bright in the forefront of his mind.

Even when he pulls the cool pillow against his face, it doesn't help it feel any less hot.

That thing keeps running through his head, no matter what he does. The memory's too vivid to be anything less than real. How close he was. The warmth. How Bills eye fluttered shut, along with the vivid picture of his mouth, lips slightly parted.

He's never - but then Bill was -

Dipper hugs the pillow tighter, letting it absorb him in its comforting softness. Even the tips of his ears must be red by now.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

He should have listened to Ford. He should have taken those warnings to heart.

He’s heard so many of them. 

Don’t talk to demons. Don’t get involved with their magic, don’t make any deals, don’t interact at all except to eliminate them.

And do not, under any circumstances, speak too long to Bill Cipher. 

Ford's smart. He knows how to handle almost every situation, and he's cautious enough to come up with almost every eventuality.

Dipper never had a warning against wanting to kiss an evil triangle. He swears a little more into the pillow, tense and frustrated.

God, he's an idiot.

Bill’s weird. He’s insane. He’s all about every aspect of twisting a mind into absurd shapes - hell, he is a shape. Not a human. Not good.

And not into anyone, as far as Dipper can tell. On the very rare moments the topic has come up, Bill’s been disparaging at best - and even if he was, it would still be a terrible idea. 

Dipper pulls the pillow tighter around him. He thunks his head-and-pillow combo against the mattress, embarrassment writhing in his chest.

He’s going to get up in a moment. First, to make some coffee - a lot of coffee - 

And second, to come up with his own plan. 

Bill knows about everything, or at least he claims to. He definitely likes it when people are crazy, but odds are? He won’t appreciate this kind of madness.

But with any luck - and some careful work, on Dipper’s part -

Bill Cipher will never, ever know about this.