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shuatoyou · 4 years ago

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➵ request: a fic based on an angsty quote from insta: “maybe someday we will be two people meeting again for the first time”

➵ genre: angst angst and more angst

➵ a/n: ughh this quote was perfect, i wrote two different scenarios and had to choose between the one that fit best. this one was the winner. i hope you like it thank you for requesting anon <3 (sorry if its so choppy btw ugh)

the skies, the damned skies.

you hated how the night sky reminded you of him, his eyes that always sparkled almost as if it was holding an entire galaxy.

you hated how every empty shelf reminded you of the times where they were once filled to the brim with novels waiting to be read by him.

you hated how he had symbolised nearly everything in your life and it all took you back to him. to that day; that moment. especially now that he was standing in front of you.

the sound of your phone ringing pulled you out of the daze you were in and you rushed to answer without paying any attention to the caller id.

“hello?”

“i’ve been trying to reach you for the last ten minutes y/n” the voice on the other line that belonged to your friend mingyu huffs frustratedly.

“i'm sorry i must have left my phone on silent, what's up?”

“are you coming to the company dinner?” he asks with a nervous tone to his usual cheery voice.

“i have to be there as the team leader, gyu, i told you this.”

“oh you did…”

“is everything okay?” you question as him being forgetful was not likely.

“yeah of course, i’ll see you then. is anyone taking you there?”

“i was just planning on making my own-”

“i’ll pick you up at six then,” he says, interrupting you and hanging up abruptly leaving you puzzled but with a yawn you pick up the work you were previously doing.

mingyu picked you up at six like he said he would, you greeted him getting into the car. the two of you complimented each other's looks, mostly him praising your sense of style for once with a laugh however the rest of the time you guys rode in silence for most of the journey except when he made small conversations about work here and there until you spoke up again.

“you sounded weird earlier, you alright?” you turn towards the driving figure in your seat.

“im fine, why wouldn't i be?” he says equally as weird as earlier so you just dust it off with a shrug knowing you wouldn't be able to get anything out of him. humming along to the music you both zoned out into your own worlds.

from the moment you two arrived, stepping foot into the large venue rented for the dinner mingyu had practically glued himself to your side while you greeted coworkers and partners.

“don't you have your own team to be sticking by right now?” you asked, sighing.

“yeah but i don't want to leave you alone” he shrugged, taking a drink from the table behind you before offering you one which you gladly accepted.

“it's nothing new gyu don't worry just go” you shoo him away and turn around searching the crowd as you sipped on the prestige glass filled with equally as prestige champagne. mingyu was still hovering behind you however less annoyingly so you dismissed it for the time being.

it wasn't long before you met eyes with a new figure that walked in, your heart began racing and your stomach dropped at the sight of him. his hair was cut shorter now, the charcoal colour of it stood out to you and of course he was wearing the glasses you stole from him countless times. your eyes stayed focused on him watching as he greeted some people, mingyu followed your gaze to finally notice him too, his eyes widening as he immediately steps in front of you averting your attention to himself.

for a moment you’re stood there trying to figure out whether your mind was playing tricks on you but mingyu's actions confirmed enough

“what are you doing?” you question raising your eyebrow.

“i'm sorry i didn't want you to find out like this y/n”

“you knew?”

he nodded at your question.

“is this why you were acting weird all day?”

another question answered with a mere nod, you understood now.

“it's not that big of a deal anyways, i'm fine” you smile reassuringly patting his arm signalling for him to move since he stood in a protective manner, as if you were fragile. with an apologetic look he nods once again, moving away.

wonwoo being there was a surprise to you, especially when it had been so long since you last saw the boy. your mind raced with thoughts and questions that you did your best to shake away.

eyeing the boxes spread onto the floors, you walked onto the balcony where he was standing looking over at the stunning view you had both bragged about countlessly for the past few years.

your first instinct was to question why the books were off the shelves and in boxes but he beat you to it as he spoke up.

“i have to go y/n” he told you, not sparing you a single glance.

“what?”

“i got the promotion.” he stated nonchalantly although his eyes were watering making you even more anxious.

“why would you only tell me this now?” you did your best to keep your voice at a steady tone, but you knew wonwoo knew you like no other, probably better than yourself in fact.

“i didn't know how to bring it up, '' he sighs, finally turning to look at you and sitting beside you on the balcony you two had walked onto for air earlier where wonwoo finally decided to bring up the topic.

“a simple, ‘hey i’ve been given a promotion to work overseas’ would’ve done the job wonwoo” you laugh bitterly looking down at your feet.

“i'm sorry”

“when do you leave?” you whispered not trusting your voice anymore.

“next week…” you look up to meet his eyes that were softly looking at you, still as sparkly as ever and still manage to captivate you in them.

“is this goodbye then?”

“i think so.” he moved slightly to the side getting closer to you, pulling you into a side hug and you don't even fight against it, allowing your figure to be taken into the arms you knew you would miss. the two of you release the tears that were fighting to break free. you felt the circles he rubbed onto the side of your arm, something he always did to comfort you.

he kept his arms around you tightly as you began to withdraw yours from him.

“i can't even find it in me to be angry at you, i really should be but i just can't, woo” your voice comes out shaky, it was like you were disappointed at your feelings.

“this isn't the end y/n” he did his best trying to reassure you.

“it wouldn't have been this hard if you spoke to me… we could have figured something out.” you snapped, feeling a slight anger rush to your head. you were truly upset

“figure what out? would you come with me?” he asked frustratedly.

his question was met with silence, in fact the only sound in the atmosphere was the swaying of the trees and leaves fighting each other on the grounds

“do you think maybe someday we’ll be two people meeting again for the first time?” you mumble.

“yes and i promise that.”

“maybe this is best for us, maybe we need to go our own ways for now and meet when it's time again.”

“until then, i’ll only be one call away,” he vowed.

but the calls never happened, the texts got less frequent and soon he was just a mere memory left in your past.

his eyes were now looking back at you, holding your gaze. he took a few steps to get closer and see if it really was you making your heart practically jump. you broke eye contact first turning back around to your friend. wonwoo couldnt peel his eyes off of you especially when it had been so long. you had changed alot and it pained him to know he wasn't there for some of your biggest changes although mingyu made sure to notify everyone through his social media during the years which turned out to be beneficial to him more or less.

now you were right in front of him, looking as beautiful as ever. all the memories rushing back but all you could wish for in that moment is for him to have broken the promise.

“he’s looking at you y/n”

“and? i have to go find my boss.”

“now? wait let me come with y-” you stop him putting a hand up.

“i'll see you in a bit, mingyu.” with that you turned around on your heels despite the objections from the boy himself, making your way to the other side of the venue content on finding your boss until someone stopped in front of you bringing you to a halt, your hands immediately lifted up to steady yourself on the strangers chest.

“steady there”

the familiar deep voice made you jump, quickly removing your hands off him and dusting off your dress.

“still as clumsy as ever?” he chuckled.

“oh.. no you got in my way?” you stated kind of like a question. you knew mingyu was watching this interaction from somewhere so you silently hoped he would save you.

“sorry about that i guess” he was awkward, his hand at the nape of his neck trying to lock gazes with you but that was your stubbornness not wanting to look him in the eye.

“do you mind if we talk for a minute?” he finally spoke up again after the moment of silence.

you hesitated looking back to where mingyu was standing, he was begging you with his eyes to say yes. so you nodded. there was no harm in talking to him again right?

wonwoo seemed shocked at you accepting to talk so it took him a second to compose himself,

“oh? okay great.” he stumbled on his words and almost his feet as he led the way to the bench outdoors.

the two of you took a moment to breathe the fresh air and you wrapped your shawl around you tighter in attempts of keeping warm from the fierce cold. he took notice of this. you always got cold easily anyways.

“maybe it wasn't a good idea talking outside in the cold.”

“what do you want to talk about wonwoo?” you ask, making him turn around to you before sitting right beside you on the bench.

“i'm sorry.” he said, voice shaky and deeper than ever. you weren't sure whether the goosebumps on your skin was from the cold or his voice.

you hum in response. “for what?”

“for leaving back then.”

your figure straightens at the words falling out of his mouth.

“is that it?” you say coldly.

“no, but i don't know how to get into the rest of it.” he admits avoiding your gaze like you were doing to him.

“please don't.” you plead with a whisper standing up and facing his sat figure. “i’ve moved on wonwoo everything's different now, i don't need an apology. we did this years ago we got over this. you have nothing to be sorry for.” you vent.

“y/n…” he stands up taking a step closer to you.

“it's fine. it really is.” you assure him as much as you honestly could.

“you were the one who asked if one day we would be two people meeting again for the first time.” he quotes from the past.

“and we have, we met again wonwoo but that's it. im sorry.” you softly smile turning to walk back inside.

he didn't try to stop you because you weren't wrong, you two had met now and that's all there was to it. wonwoo left and took a piece of you with him but perhaps it wasnt enough for the both of you to return to the happy times, at least not together.

you guys met again, as two different people with two separate lives.

he inhales the cold air around him looking up to the night sky, the stars that were always filled with light had now dulled in his world and yours was only just beginning to brighten again.

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arigatouiris · 5 years ago

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the tinder date // shinshou hitoshi

Author’s Note: I am in LOVE with @myherowritings ‘You Suck at Gaming’ so I wanted to do something in appreciation, albeit a bit differently! So, this happened to me irl haha so I wanted to write about it~ I turned the real guy into Shinsou so that no one would know hahahaha I’m such a creep oh my god

Word count: 3046

Pairing: Modern! Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader

Warnings: fluff, humor, smau

❝

You never really wanted to use Tinder to meet new people, but ever since a terrible breakup, your friends, your classmates, your goddamn mind told you that you needed a push and maybe, just maybe, Tinder might do good.

You weren’t a fan of the idea of meeting people using an app, which honestly, came across the same as buying groceries where some things were available and some things weren’t—you believed you couldn’t do that with people, and you believed with all your heart that people weren’t meant to be either swiped right on or swiped left on. Your heart was already weak as it was, and there was no way you were ready to emotionally invest in something real; at least for the time being.

So that lonely Friday night, you downloaded the app, created your profile, chose the perfect bio after 14 attempts at writing something about yourself, each time forgetting a vital piece of information. You didn’t start swiping right away, something about the process scared you—but there you were, mentally preparing yourself, telling yourself that it was okay, you were going to meet people on these dates and maybe, the app might be good for you, after all.

You have heard success stories of people meeting via Tinder and having a great relationship and all that; some even find their best friends on the app, which is weird despite the social stigma attached to an app like Tinder. Some of your friends even know people who have gotten married and that’s the tea. You were not ready for either of those, maybe you’d get some coffee with a cute chap and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.

Alright, fine, make out or whatever.

But the prospect felt so wrong, you didn’t know what you would do if he turned out to be a creep. So, bucking it all up, swallowing your pride or what was left of it, you started to look at the men Tinder presented to you.

The very first picture was of a boy whose face revolted you—and if you thought that sounded rude, wait until you start complaining about the grapes he had for hair.

The second boy was decent, but you were not going for decent on this app. You wanted something written on the bio—something that they were willing to communicate with, something you could identify with, something you can vibe with; and if you didn’t find anything like that, despite how cute the guy can be, you are swiping left on that ass.

It was after what felt like a thousand left swipes did you find someone a least bit attractive. But, you blinked—there was an odd feature under his profile; it was marked blue with a star.

Immediately opening WhatsApp, you texted your friend, Ochako, asking her what it was. Ochako being Ochako instantly called you.

“Someone super liked you in less than an hour!?”

What in the world was a ‘super like’?

“Ocha-chan, what’s a ‘super like?’” You rubbed your eyeball as you continued, “And what does it have to do with the fact that I’ve been on this app for less than an hour—”

“Most super likes are usually done by creeps,” Uraraka didn’t hold back, “But sometimes, if someone really finds you attractive or interesting, you get a super like from a very decent guy. I heard one of my classmate’s brother’s friends met his boyfriend via the ‘super like’ feature!”

“Y-Yeah, I’m not... I’m not looking for—”

“It just means that whoever this person is, finds you interesting! So go through his profile and let me know what you think!”

You ended the call right then before going back on the app, finding his profile still open. You wouldn’t lie, he was very attractive—not in the way most people would flaunt over, but you couldn’t take your eyes off him. There was something about the way he was lazily smiling at the camera, or how the light fell on his lavender hair, or how he looked so unapologetically as himself. You then went on to read his bio.

If you matched not to start a conversation, then don’t swipe right. Being left alone is easy.

It wasn’t all of the bio but this part of the bio somehow stuck to you. It was incredibly honest—and wasn’t the usual ‘interested in trekking’ or fancy words like ‘selenophile’ (words that you had to google basically). You noticed that in one of his pictures, he had a tattoo—of a particular animal but it was so minimalistic you could barely recognize it from the odd angle in the picture.

You swiped right and the pop up appeared ‘It’s a Match!’. Your heart skipped a beat for god knows what and you gulped, wondering what would come next. You didn’t even hold back before looking at the new chat screen. You gulped before shutting your phone and lying back on your bed, wondering what the ideal time to send him a message would be.

Swallowing your leftover pride, you opened the chat once more and went ahead with, “Please don’t mind my stalker tendencies, but what is that tattoo on your hand?” You wanted to clarify some more that you were not a stalker, but held back.

You closed the app and felt your stomach grumble. This was the start of something—you were sure of that much, but you weren’t sure of what. And this person, Hitoshi, whose last name you did not know, seemed very interesting.

The next morning, you woke up to a Tinder notification. Your stomach flipped as the purple-haired boy’s face was your first thought and you instantly opened the message where he had explained that it was a tattoo of his cat.

Your heart melted at this gesture but you reminded yourself that you didn’t even know this person and there was no use feeling warm over one sentence. But, what came next sent your heart on overdrive.

Your eyes widened as you read the messages one by one,

You closed the app and almost screamed, but held yourself back; you figured this was a bad idea because the sound really needed to come out of you and you squealed like a dying animal just seconds after. You needed to tell someone this, but before that, you had to reply to that. You opened the app again with trembling fingers before figuring out what could be the most appropriate response to something like that.

Haha; No, that’s too lame.

You’re so funny!; No fucking way!

Ughh, what do I say? What do I say?! You had reached a slump. You had no words. So, you did what you do best—you went with your gut.

You slapped yourself in the forehead. There was no way you were going to live past this one—

You chuckled. He’s funny. You quickly were about to type a response before he added, “Just wanted to have a good conversation with someone new. Not intending on using this app to fornicate like lonely bunnies.”

You stared at the message before feeling a soft smile crawl on to your features. You felt the same, but this wasn’t supposed to happen, right? You weren’t supposed to agree with whatever a random Tinder match was saying, right? It wasn’t supposed to be this easy.

You replied, Same. Intending on great conversations because somehow, that’s taken the backseat these days.

No one really talks anymore, you thought before waiting for his reply. You didn’t know where this conversation would go, really, but you were intending on finding out. You never really chatted with anyone on Tinder before but you were curious as to why he super-liked you, and what this person had in store for you. It was strange, but you enjoyed this feeling. It wasn’t a crush, it had no expectations attached to it—yet, there was a fresh excitement bubbling in your stomach at the mere thought of some stranger talking to you.

You and Hitoshi kept chatting during random points of the day. You’d be cooking for yourself (since it was a weekend), or you’d be taking a dump or you’d try to take a nap—and a simple ping would send your heart to the skies. You didn’t know him for that long, it had been less than a whole day since you two matched, but somehow, talking to him about random things really helped keep your spirits high. You felt genuinely happy—and the excitement kept you going.

You stared at the conversation and wondered why it wasn’t as easy with people you really did know in life. You wondered why people didn’t have time for conversation unless it’s a stranger—isn’t that the entire point of it all? To talk, to spread joy, to ponder on life’s meaninglessness together?

You blinked. Boarding a flight? To where? You wanted to ask, but you really didn’t want to come across as some prying clingy individual. You were curious though.

Oh! Where to?

You hoped that the message sounded less inquisitive and more cheerful for god knows what reason.

Going to Reykjavik for a week. Always wanted to see the lights.

He’s going to... ICELAND?! You felt strangely excited and disappointed, but the fact that he had no obligation to meet you stung.

However—

Your heart shot to the skies. You wanted to respond immediately, but you held back. Clearing your throat, you replied earnestly.

Sure. Looking forward to it!

And that was that.

You never knew how well you could jump to overthinking, especially when it came to strangers. You knew Hitoshi (whatever his last name was) was in Iceland right now, and that only meant that considering the time differences, there would be little to no text messages.

What you didn’t understand was why you got no notifications in three days. A suspicious thing, because Tinder usually throws a thousand notifications at you especially when you don’t want to check them. So, being the inquisitive little cat that you are, you opened the app. Only to find that your account on Tinder is banned.

“What...” You blinked a couple of times before closing the app and opening it again, “What the fuck!?”

You didn’t know what to do at this point. How could it have been banned? There were no ill comments, no ugly or obscene photographs of you from your end, then why did Tinder ban your account?

You went through the community guidelines and found nothing. Your heart was breaking—Hitoshi must have thought you unmatched him (Ochaco once told you that if you unmatch someone’s profile, they won’t see your chats anymore). You couldn’t even log in, you couldn’t even let him know that it was Tinder cockblocking you and not you being an idiot. Oh, god, why!? You screamed into your pillow, wondering how this could have happened before calling Ochako to help calm you down.

“How the hell can they ban you?” She asked, causing you to roll your eyes.

“If I knew that then I would have done something else, Ocha-chan!”

“Okay, okay. So let’s do this. Find him on Facebook and send him a message saying Tinder banned you. It has to be a bug from their end. I’ve read that it happens to a lot of random profiles.”

You blinked. Really? Or was she simply just trying to pacify you? You didn’t care, you needed the pacifying.

“But, I don’t know his surname...”

“(y/n)-chan,” Ochako took a deep breath, “You spoke to him for two days and you didn’t take his surname!?”

You undermined yourself pretty hard in the past, but right now, it had reached the pinnacle of it all. You felt low, you had lost the prospect of not only great conversations but a cute boy who even asked you out.

“Try finding him on LinkedIn.” Ochako said, and you blinked.

“LinkedIn?”

You could practically hear her nod, “Yeah. Just type in his workplace or education, whatever you remember from the Tinder app, and his first name. It should show you a result that matches.”

You couldn’t wait to try. You opened your laptop, while Ochako was on call, and did exactly as she told you. You typed in ‘Hitoshi’ and then his workplace, some gaming studio—for the life of you you couldn’t pronounce it, and your eyes widened. The first result was ‘Shinsou Hitoshi’.

“Oh my God,” You gasped, “I found him!”

Ochako giggled, “Is it really him?”

“I’d really not mistake that face anywhere, Ocha-chan! You’re a genius!”

“Of course,” She said, giggling, “Send him a message then!”

Doubt said hello a second after, “But what if he thinks I’m some stalker?”

“Tell him your account got banned. Just be honest. He might even appreciate the effort.”

You weren’t too sure about that, actually. Your hand ghosted over his profile before attempting to send a message; but, apparently, LinkedIn wouldn’t let you send a message to someone new—someone you didn’t already have any connections with. When you mentioned this to Ochako, you wondered if you were the stalker or if she was.

“He’s on Facebook, (y/n)-chan. Just go for it!”

You gulped before opening Facebook, wondering all the while if this was entirely normal for anyone to do for a Tinder date, before typing in his name. It was the same picture he had put of himself on Tinder, and you gulped, unsure of what to send. Again, you did what you do best—went with your gut.

Hey! This is (y/n), from Tinder. So long story short, my account got banned and idek why. I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t unmatch/ghost you. I didn’t want to leave you hanging so I turned into an interim stalker to let know you this. Is there any way we can contact each other besides Tinder?

You breathed slowly, as slowly as you possibly could. You could feel a weird numbness asphyxiating you, unaware of how to proceed or what would happen next. You shut your eyes and released a breath, before falling back on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” You could hear the worry in Ochako’s voice.

“I don’t know...” Nothing made sense anymore.

Did you like Shinsou? You weren’t sure—but what you were sure of was how little you knew him. Was that enough? Was the fact that you had never met come into play here? Just because the conversation was easy? Or was it merely the idea of meeting someone through a dating app? You couldn’t like him. Maybe, it was a crush.

But, can you have a crush on someone you didn’t even know?

You heard a ping and you felt that familiar stomach flipping sensation you knew so well in school. You never realized how much that feeling was missed ever since you grew up.

You were quite practically rolling and squealing at the same time. Ochako joined you, not knowing what the reply was but she was merely just happy for you.

“He replied!”

“In like ten minutes! So fast!”

You didn’t know how he could reply, considering the time difference and everything, but that didn’t matter. He had given you his number, and you were going to text him and that was that.

“So, should I text him now?”

Ochako hummed, “Not now. Wait till the morning.”

So, you waited until the next morning. As soon as you woke up, you remembered the details Ochako had given you and you carefully composed a message in your head. Saving the number into your contacts, you tried to send him a message—but it failed.

Heh? You thought before trying again, with each attempt failing each time. You felt nervous, wondering if something was wrong with your phone, before realizing you were late for work.

Ugh, you thought before sending him another message, not bothered to tell Ochako about this.

Hey, so I can’t seem to send you a message, why don’t you ping me instead? It’s xy-xyx-xxxxx.

As soon as you reached work, you forgot entirely that you had even sent him that message. For some reason, your manager seemed to know you had other things in your mind and was intending on squeezing the life out of you. You had never worked so hard in the entirety of your life but that Thursday, you felt God’s wrath. After 9 hours of painful clock time, you began to head home, feeling incredibly tired and done with everything there was about adulthood.

You checked your phone for the first time in 9 hours and your heart skipped a beat. Shinsou had sent you two messages, one on Facebook—

—and one on WhatsApp.

You freaked before replying to him, apologizing for the wait—apologizing internally a thousand times; and wondered if you’d get a response real quick. Judging from where you were, you realized you needed to get home first.

As soon as you reached home, you threw your bag on the bed and checked your phone again—nothing. You sighed before getting some food, constantly looking over at your phone, wondering what had gotten into you, wondering if you were the only one flipping over a Tinder date like this. You were sure Shinsou wouldn’t be responding the same way; he was in Iceland, he probably wasn’t even thinking of you! And yet, here you were, thinking about him all through your day.

You felt strangely pathetic. Were you so lonely that you couldn’t live without this minor excitement that a random stranger was giving you? It felt so odd.

You spent the next two days, not texting him. You wondered if you were intentionally ghosting him, but he hadn’t texted you either. You felt low, being proven that he had better things to do, but you had gotten your answer. Serves you right that you were excited over someone you didn’t even know. Serves you right for jumping over your head for a Tinder match.

You sighed before hearing the familiar ‘ping’ of your phone.

You smiled a bit, feeling the sides of your cheek hurt.

Sure, but won’t you be tired?

It was a second later did Shinsou reply to that. You stared as the conversation rolled on, before knowing for a fact that you weren’t meeting him tomorrow. Maybe on Tuesday? You thought, giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.

His message only proved that he did want to see you. So, that means, you weren’t the only one wanting to see the other person. This being clarified to you made it easier for you to accept your obsession over the purple-haired male, but you had to restrain yourself.

When Tuesday morning rolled by, you were very close to giving up. You texted Ochako all day, asking her if he had given up interest in you or if you were annoying or clingy or desperate and she assured you that you were neither of those things. She told you that you were overthinking, that Shinsou was probably busy, he went back to work after Iceland, so maybe he had a lot to catch up on.

You didn’t know when you took a blow to your confidence, but you had and it bothered you. You wondered if it was alright to test everything on one random Tinder match, but you sighed, giving up the entire thought process. You raged inside your head, but there was very little clarity left. You decided to let the day pass and see if he was going to text you.

He didn’t.

It ran past 12 p.m. You had lunch on your own, staring at your phone the whole time, wondering if he had forgotten even. You felt your energy reduce in intensity before spamming Ochako about what to do.

You couldn’t bear the thought of him losing interest in you, and you didn’t know why. He seemed interested, your conversations were really fun—you had a few things in common and he asked you out twice!

What went wrong? Was he really that busy? Was he bored with you? Was he cat-fishing you?

It was then you saw a message pop in.

Hey, sorry about not texting. I’ve come down with a cold. The date’ll need to wait.

Your heart skipped three beats. You sighed before wondering why you hadn’t thought of the possibility of him being sick. You replied a genuine, ‘take care’, but in your heart—it was as if the universe was saying this wasn’t going to happen. You didn’t bother to see his further replies; you weren’t blaming him for being sick, you were blaming yourself for being so overtly excited by someone you didn’t know.

He’s just a Tinder match, you thought before collapsing on your bed after coming home.

Ochako called you that night, and you revealed to her in detail about what you were feeling.

“What’s wrong?”

You sighed, “I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.”

Ochako was quiet.

“Do you think Tinder was a bad idea?”

You scoffed, “It has to be. It just showed me how lonely I am. That’s what these apps do! They show you how pathetic you are, how lonely you are on the inside and it’s just... It just sucks.”

You don’t remember falling asleep that night. It was a Friday, and you knew what work had in store for you. However, you had nothing on your mind—you forced the thought of Shinsou to the back of your mind before walking into work with a clear head. You worked all day, ate lunch alone, worked again—not checking your phone, not bothered to read or be interested in anything remotely online.

As soon as work was done, from the corner of your eye, you noticed notifications. You shook your head before rushing on home, before realizing you weren’t watching where you were going.

Your office was on an incredibly important street. Sometimes, you met people you never thought you’d meet—schoolmates, enemies from the past, old teachers. You were thankful that you worked in such a location but sometimes, just sometimes, the fact that you worked on such a busy street proved to be a tad bit too... cliche.

You look up and your eyes met with purple locks and wide black eyes, shocked at seeing your form just as shocked as you were seeing his.

“(y/n)?”

You blinked, gasped and stood up straight.

“Did you follow me?”

Shinsou chuckled, “I think this is what they’d call a coincidence.”

Your cheeks suddenly felt warm, and you wondered how in the world he had shown up there before—

—his arm extended forward, a soft smile on his features.

“Can I take you out for coffee then? You can’t imagine how long I’ve been waiting.”

I can’t imagine? You giggled before shaking his hand, I think I can.

❞

#shinsou x reader #shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #hitoshi shinshou #shinshou bnha #shinshou hitoshi #shinsō hitoshi #mha shinsou #boku no hero academia #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero imagines

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sekoui · 5 years ago

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you,,, watched,,, esp s2,,, my fav isak season,,, give us thots pls 🤧

i was pretty emotionally connected to wtfock

but this hit me like a truck. i didn’t cry much for wtfock (during OHN i did, and now i get emotional when i hear wildfire but that’s it)i cried in every episode of skam esp season 2. and sometimes through multiple clips. there are a number of reasons why1. the relationship between amira and crisholy shit their friendship is beautiful. the way that skam esp tied in so many aspects of other characters’ struggles was so so well done. learning about viri, watching amira experience ramadan while teaching her friends, seeing how amira navigated cris’s mother’s comments, how cris navigated her mother’s comments, seeing how cris set up this whole iftar (that she had cancelled originally) just for her best friend, seeing their friendship flourish and develop so so deeply. and to have been best friends since they were tiny??? cris’s mother had some respect for amira but the backhanded comments still happened. like, she admired this girl so much but also pitied her for her faith and believed that her decisions were not her own. like amira was somehow the “other” of the muslims and still pulled into something that cris’s mama believed to be negative. this was so fucking real. it was really nice to see a muslim supporting character show up consistently and in a way that was meaningful and loving. i hope we get an amira season one day because i’ll frankly die. she and yasmina are really dear to my heart.2. joana + borderline personality disorderobviously the evens are a highlight of the season. i have personal connections to bipolar (many of my family members have it) but one of my best friends has borderline personality disorder. to see joana replicate some of our own experiences as friends, to see her struggle through something that i know is so difficult for my friend, was literally beautiful. the way she describes herself, the way she perceives herself, how there’s so much push and pull. i had been warned that this isak season was the most back/forth of the isak seasons between isak/even and at first i brushed it off. but as the season continued i got to see what they meant when they said there was so much back and forth. and for good reason.borderline personality disorder is so misunderstood and has 0 representation. it’s hard to understand for the medical community, for friends and family of someone with BPD but even more for the person that has BPD. the back and forth between them was so fucking realistic. i’ve witnessed her experience it in her own relationships and even her friendship with me. i’ve learned a lot about BPD through her but what i love love love about this season was that it was a stark reminder that mental illness is not a barrier to love. 3. the girls??? HELLOholllyyy shit i loved this girlsquad. i loved that the season felt so female-focused (though i think all of skam esp’s seasons have been female-focused so far, so big win for me). but their genuine love and support. the gentle way they call each other out. the way they try to understand each other. there was no nasty infighting. it was really nice to see how much they all show their love for each other in different ways. like– my heart. and soul. they are so in tune with one anothers’ feelings that i couldn’t help but fall more in love with them every time they were together. and separately too, what the hell? how perfect are they?i love how they pulled joana into their friendgroup without treating her like “x’s girlfriend” but rather as her own person.they are so embracing of one another. they really look out for each other in such intimate ways– and when the girls were listening to cris and they all got emotional? I FELT IT UGHH4. the boys??? HELLOshout out to the boy squad for being supporting characters that are not annoying/toxic/chauvinist/disgusting. and for being supportive. like?? coming to the iftar, showing up to the lame party, checking on the girls. and for their internal support of each other off-screen or on the side? loved that5. the cultural similarities to my own culturei’ve always said that hispanic culture and arab culture are pretty similar. the notion that they are all living with their parents felt relatable to me, i can’t relate to the other seasons as much because my parents, never in 1 million years, would have let me moved into a flatshare with friends and paid for it (lmfao?!!?).there are other things here but i can’t remember them all off the top of my head6. cris loli love that cris is someone who is so confident in some areas but doubts herself and her abilities. she thinks she’s not smart so she doesn’t try as hard or study as much. she is so loving to her friends and is there for them in ways she doesn’t even realize she is and that’s so beautiful because her selflessness comes from the heart. i love how she was afraid of the future but was still willing to face it. side note? i love how joana instilled confidence in her academically. to see joana notice cris’s insecurity and build her up to believe that she is smart and has good ideas was so heartwarming. i loved that there was a balance between them in terms of who needed the confidence to grow in something and it wasn’t all about cris’s internalized rejection of her sexuality? and that joana could be that for her. 7. dani’s crush on amiraLMAOOOO I UNEXPECTEDLY LOVED THIS SOOO MUCH??? to see this guy who has a crush (and has had one!?) on his sister’s best friend (that his mom is like “omg she’s gonna marry some guy right out of high school”!!) is so cute. and the way he POPS UP when cris asks to be taken to the hospital and he’s like“AMIRA!??!?”because he genuinely cares about her but doesn’t creep on her AT ALL?? help i loved that all in all i really loved the season and i am sure i had more to say last night while i was bawling about it but it is what it is!!

#eddianswers #asks #skam spain #skam espana #amira + cris 4 life #netflixandchelou #eddithinks

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glrchmp · 5 years ago

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i’m just gonna dump all the shit i rambled about to shan last night. to give you an idea of what my leon portrayal is like ‘til i... make a proper about section on the google doc lmao

in my hc leon is desi—his family on both sides are from india (or whatever pkmn's equivalent is; copperajah is said in its dex entry it's from a far away region). his mom's parents were immigrants and his father's family had been in galar for a while. he's not too tied to his culture due to having a bit of a gap between him and his family since he became champion but he is fluent in hindi thanks to his grandparents wanting him to learn it when he was small.

during the game he's around… twenty-one? it says on his league card that he started his journey at ten, so i'd assume he became champion at ten as well. the game says he’s an adult, and also says hop remembers leon telling him he’d become champion so leon would have to be eighteen at the Least since hop is still a kid (around like fifteen imo). ANYWAYYYY he’s still pretty young!

when he was six and hop was still a few months old their father died from illness and it shook him pretty hard because he was attached to his dad, more so than his mom, and that’s such a young age to lose a parent and he never really knew how to cope with it.

the thing is though was he was forced to grow up too fast. his dad dying when he was young, he felt like he had to fill his role as hop was growing up (sonia did say leon “practically raised” hop). but going on a journey at ten and becoming champion at ten kinda tore him away from his family and… well. he had his childhood stolen from him. at ten he had already started questioning his gender identity but hadn’t come out yet, so his sense of identity being skewed while forced into the position of champion and becoming this icon and role model when he was still so young.

they called him a prodigy, becoming champion so young and on his first try, and everyone who had watched him during the league challenge had already noted he was insanely skilled as a trainer, not losing to a single trainer once. leaving his friends sonia and raihan in the dust, basically, and taking them both down in the champion cup. and then rose started saying he could be a hero — because galar needed a hero in the years to come, he could be like the old heroes of galar leon always heard stories about (and leon had excitedly asked him if he could wear a cape, since he was going to be a hero now!), and what ten-year-old wouldn’t love to hear that? the chairman himself acting like the father he had years ago, but there was something different in his eyes that leon was too young to notice.

i should mention, at ten he basically becomes his family’s main breadwinner.

at twelve he figures out his Gender Stuff and confides in his friends and hop (who excitedly calls him his big brother immediately) and at thirteen he comes out publicly and not long after manages to convince rose to help pay for his name change (and rose had agreed, of course, but his smile didn’t really reach his eyes—leon was too starstruck to notice, or care). rose also helped him with changing his image a bit, pulling any merchandise, commercials, ads, etc with his face on them and replacing them with new things more suited to who he really was now. at that point something in his relationship with rose shifted, but he was too young to notice then—when he looks back on it now, in hindsight, it gives him a foul taste on his tongue.

at sixteen he gets permission to start hormone therapy, and at seventeen he gets top surgery. sonia and raihan are there for him the entire time and leon had already started noticing he had some Big Feelings towards raihan even before this (maybe since they first met as kids, even). raihan always laughing with him, teasing him, holding his hand to lead him places whenever he got lost. raihan sitting at his bedside post-surgery showing him funny videos on his phone while he was stoned from painkillers… but leon staring at raihan’s face more than at the phone screen… basically, this boy is GAY.

once the eternatus stuff happens… this is basically what rose was grooming him for to begin with. to be the one to defeat and catch eternatus and “save” galar. to be the “hero” rose always told him he could be. but being a hero doesn’t sound so appealing anymore when it’s been drilled into you for over a decade until you don’t have a real grasp on your identity outside of hero, outside of champion (who is he now, really?). it’s not so appealing when you’re standing in front of a three-thousand-year-old, sixty-five-foot-tall monstrosity oozing venom who brings back galar’s darkest day. and then it beats you, leaves you crumbled against the ground as two children, one being your brother, brings it down and saves the day.

(he wasn’t the hero this time, and he has mixed feelings about that.)

he wakes up in a hospital bed with a searing pain along his ribs, like he’s being burned, like his skin is coming off and he cries from the pain the moment he wakes up and then the memories come rushing back, everything that happened to put him here. and he cries more. and when the nurses come in to give him medicine and change his bandages he still cries and falls unconscious again. when he wakes up again sonia is there, and then raihan is there, and raihan holds his hand and smiles at him. tells him that he may be the champ, but he shouldn’t force himself out onto the pitch just yet if he’s hurting. but leon being leon goes out there three days later.

and he loses.

(people say it’s leon’s first lost in 11 years, but eternatus was truly his first loss.)

his title of champion taken from him, and he doesn’t know who he is anymore even though he has so many people in his life that love him. so many fans that love him whether he’s champion or not. he strikes one more pose in the pitch despite the searing pain in his body and grins even if there are tears stinging at his eyes.

ughh im rambling anyway leon figures out who he is outside of being champion eventually but it’s a Process. but… he gets there! slowly but surely. and he learns how to be happy. starts the battle tower, takes the role as chairman when rose is carted off to jail. has more time to be… himself. in the league cards it even says he seems livelier in the battle tower… anyway, i love him,

#bio.#hrrngnghghf #headcanon.

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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Beneath the Amber Moon, Part 2 (Galactica AU Group Fic) – TheDane & Veronica

Heyyy!! Welcome to Part 2 of “Beneath the Amber Moon,” a group fic set in the Galactica Universe. Click here for Part 1and here for some background on this AU.

We hope you enjoy! Let us know what you think!

Summary: Day 2. Courtney shows up at the resort, throwing a wrench into Fame’s plans, and Violet continues to avoid all the tropical fun.

/////

COURTNEY: Omg finally here. I thought I was gonna die on that helicopter.

ADORE: YAY!!! I can’t wait to see you!!! I’ll be back in like 4 hours. Ish.

COURTNEY: WHAT?!

ADORE: I’m on a boat. It’s a long story. Pity me.

COURTNEY: Adore! You’re leaving me alone with these jackals?! I did not agree to that!

ADORE: Calm down, everyone loves you.

COURTNEY: What about B?!

ADORE: Especially B…;)

COURTNEY: ADORE

COURTNEY: THIS IS NOT FUNNY

ADORE: Chillax bro. It’s a vacation. Go get some lunch and a cocktail and I’ll see your sweet ass later when this hellride is over.

COURTNEY: UGHH

ADORE: TELL ME ABOUT IT

/////

Raja closed the door behind her. The nannies had brought the twins along for midday activities, something Raven had taken advantage of straight away to get some alone time in their bungalow. Raja saw Raven, her wife in the middle of the bed, the sheets barely covering her, her leg tugged up so Raja could see the ass she had fallen in lust with, Raven still plush and plum. Raja walked over, pushing her childrens toys aside with her feet before she sat down on the bed, Raven walking at the dip.

“Mmh?”

“Hello sleeping beauty.”

Raja smirked and leaned down, catching Raven’s lips in a kiss.

“Do I have to get up?” Raven’s eyes were still closed, though she did move closer to Raja, holding her hand out so her wife could take it, intertwining their fingers.

“We’re the only ones here.” Raja ran her free hand through Raven’s hair, the black longs almost at her hips after she had stopped modeling. “You look a mess.”

“Don’t try me, I don’t have a hair out of place bitch.”

Raja smiled. “Of course.” Raven opened her eyes, a snort coming from her, telling Raja she clearly didn’t believe a word she was saying.

“I’m effortless.”

“Your lips and the bill I paid for them says something else my darling.” Raja smirked, her hand coming from Raven’s hair to capture her lip with her thumb. Raven moaning at the touch, though she started sucking right away just like she knew Raja liked it. “Not that I’m complaining. They are worth every penny.” Raja released her, unbuttoning her top. “These too.”

“They turned out pretty good, right?”

“You may not be effortless. But you are perfection.”

/////

Fame opened the door to the sauna. She had been fretting about having anything done to her face while in Brazil, worried they would ruin her hard work, but as Karl had laughed straight in her face, telling her it couldn’t get any worse, she had decided to give it a chance and she was more than pleased with herself that she had. She dropped her robe, the heat already getting to her.

“Hi.”

Fame turned, spotting Patrick who was sitting in nothing but a towel, his skin damp and shiny, his hair wet too.

“What are you doing in here?” Fame smiled. She had been wondering where her husband had gone to, Patrick disappearing during breakfast.

“Taking a break.” Fame sat down next to Patrick, the hot wood nearly burning her skin, but Fame had always liked an edge of pain. “Think I had a little too much to drink, so I figured I’d come here.”

Fame nodded. It wasn’t an abnormality for their group of friends to always be at least buzzed whenever they were all together, alcohol taking the place of the harder drugs they used to snort.

“It’s nice.”

Patrick moved his arm, and Fame leaned into him, their skin sticking to each other, but she didn’t mind.

“So...how do you feel?”

“Good.”

“Really?” Fame could feel Patricks huff of laughter. “I hadn’t expected that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fame sat up, looking at her husband.

“Nothing, I’m very proud of you. Seems like all the therapy has really made a difference, huh?”

“Patrick, what are you talking about, tell me right now or I’ll-”

“Oh.” Patrick’s eyebrows shot up, a flash of fear and then concern filling his face. “You don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Fame could feel her anxiety rising with each nanosecond.

“It’s fine, love.” Patrick moved slightly, his body clearly betraying the calm in his words. “It’s just that, um...Courtney is coming. Adore mentioned it to me at breakfast. I thought-”

Fame stared at him blankly for a few seconds before asking, “Courtney Act? Why on earth would Courtney Act be coming?”

“It seems that Adore invited her-”

“Well, uninvite her! I don’t want her here for my birthday!”

“Fame.” Patrick put a hand on her leg, clearly trying to calm her down which only made her panic more. “It’ll be fine. Things have been over with Bianca for years. I’m sure everyone can be civil.”

“Civil isn’t good enough! I want my friends here, my best friends, my family! Courtney doesn’t belong in that.”

“I’d disagree.”

“She’s not family.”

“Really? Because if you ask me, having someone you can’t get rid of because someone you love loves them? That’s pretty much the definition of family.” Patrick squeezed Fame’s thigh. “Remember my Aunt Katherine at our wedding?”

“Courtney is nothing like Aunt Katherine.”

“No, but she’s coming, and you’ll have to deal with it. I promise it’ll be alright.”

/////

Courtney stood in the middle of the room, biting her lip. She had showered, changed, and spent a half hour unpacking - which was unusual. Normally she’d just live straight out of a suitcase for a week, but somehow right now, she was feeling anxious about going to join the group without Adore. Although...the water did look beautifully crystal blue, and it would be awfully nice to feel the sand under her feet.

She stepped outside onto her deck, breathing in the salty sea air, closing her eyes. She’d wrapped on her latest film project less than a week ago, and then spent 3 days in the recording studio, and this vacation was just the most perfect timing.

Even if she hadn’t fully thought through the idea of being in paradise with her ex.

Her ex, who she hadn’t seen in two years, who she still dreamed about, secretly hoping that something would bring them together again one day. No matter how many brilliant and beautiful women she met, how many times Courtney tried, her heart had never fully healed, never fully let go of Bianca.

Bianca, who happened to walk past her open window at the exact moment Courtney opened her eyes. Topless, breasts on full and glorious display as she dropped her towel and tied on a bathing suit. Courtney gulped.

She hadn’t realized how much her pulse was racing until Bianca stepped out of her bungalow a few minutes later, sunglasses in hand. Their eyes finally met, Courtney holding her breath in anxious anticipation. She wasn’t sure how Bianca felt about her being here, and she was fairly certain that the responsible thing would have been to check in before booking her room. But of course, she hadn’t done that. She’d let Adore handle everything.

Now, seeing Bianca’s face, she was 100% positive that she made the wrong decision. Bianca looked like she’d seen a ghost, her face turning nearly white, eyes bulging.

Shit. Courtney offered a sheepish little wave.

It took Bianca a few moments, but then she composed herself and strolled forward, the skirt of her maxi dress fluttering behind her.

Courtney leaned over the railing.

“Hey there…”

“Uh, hi.” Bianca looked up at Courtney with a puzzled expression. “What, uh...what are you doing here? I mean, sorry, I-”

“They didn’t tell you I was coming, did they?”

“Nope.”

Courtney cringed a little.

"I'm...Really sorry. Adore asked me to come, and she's my best friend, and we haven’t seen each other since-”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m just...surprised. Um, come here.”

Bianca climbed the steps to give her a brief, awkward hug. As much as she tried to resist following Courtney and every one of her career moves, it was nearly impossible. So Bianca, along with everyone else alive on the planet, was well aware that she’d just finished shooting a sequel to Wonder Woman, as Supergirl.

Even from that quick hug, Bianca could feel how ridiculously buff she’d gotten. She gulped, searching for something else to say. Something that wasn’t ‘pick me up and throw me.’

“I knew this was a bad idea,” Courtney said. "She said everyone was cool with it, but obviously-"

“Don’t be silly,” Bianca said quickly. “It’ll be fun.” Bianca looked like she was telling the truth, though Courtney wasn’t sure if she should trust her. “Are you coming to lunch?”

“Um...okay.”

“Okay.”

Bianca offered a smile, dimples and all, and Courtney smiled back, following her down the steps and up the path.

/////

“Courtney! I can’t believe you’re here!”

Courtney felt the brief bliss of happiness, Juju’s obvious delight at seeing her almost making up for the fact that she had gotten herself caught in the strangest situation yet. Walking to the beach with her ex girlfriend, who she hadn’t seen in two years, dressed in a bikini, to go hang out with Bianca’s friends (who she was pretty sure didn’t even like her), while Courtney’s friend had abandoned her entirely.

“Look at you.” Juju laughed, clearly surprised to see her friend. She hugged Courtney tightly, taking a step back, her hands on Courtney’s biceps. “Wow, girl. What did DC make you do? Lift trucks? Detox, look at these arms!”

Detox snorted, his wife already babbling at Courtney at how happy the twins will be when they realise she’s here, when they get back from scuba diving with Alaska and Adore.

“Courtney.” Detox held his hand out, Courtney taking it in her own. “What a surprise to see you here. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I, um....” Courtney smiled. She was clearly nervous, and Detox wanted to dig into it, and he also knew Juju would most likely murder him if he rocked the boat in any direction on this vacation...but would it really be his fault if a small wave or two came up?

“Courtney! Come sit with us!” Jinkx called, opening her arms to give her a hug.

“Jinkxy!” Relief flooded through Courtney as she extricated herself from Detox’ clutches and ran over to Jinkx.

“Hey girl! I want to know everything about Wonder Woman 2. Is Gal Gadot as hot in person as she is on screen?”

“Uh, yeah,” Courtney laughed, sitting down beside Jinkx with a grin.

/////

Patrick had expected the worst to happen the moment he saw Courtney walk into breakfast. Fame had taken forever to calm down that morning, his wife using nearly an hour to get ready for lunch, circling around like a tiger in a cage, and Patrick was not looking forward to the shitshow he every reason to believe would go down.

Patrick wasn’t stupid - he knew what was going on, even if Fame refused to admit it to herself. He hadn’t come to the conclusion on his own, most of his alone hours in therapy spent discussing Bianca, what she meant to his wife and how he could navigate it. Bianca never spared him a second glance, barely talked to him in fact, but Patrick loved Fame, even if they were unconventional. He would always be in her life, as long as he was able.

So of course, Patrick had expected Fame to blow up the moment she saw Bianca and Courtney, the two walking in suspiciously close together, but Fame surprised him, his wife not sparing a single glance at either Bianca or Courtney.

Instead, she continued her conversation with Isolde, the little girl sitting in her lap, examining the stones on her fingers, Fame’s hand on Patricks knee underneath the table as she told Isolde the story of each of her gems.

“Isolde, stop bothering your auntie.” Raven was sitting with Raja, leaning against her wife, the two nauseatingly in love.

“She’s not bothering me.” Fame smiled. And it was true. For now, at least, she was behaving, mesmerized by the sparkling gems. “We’re just having fun, right Isolde?”

“I love diamond!” Isolde announced, and everyone chuckled.

“Like mother, like daughter,” Raven said, holding up her mimosa.

/////

“Where’s Violet?” Courtney asked, looking around the table.

“She’s napping.” Sutan smiled, taking another bite of his food. “She hasn’t been feeling well since we got here.”

“Oh no! Is she sick?”

“Violet doesn’t do well in tropical climates.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” Karl smirked, taking a drink of his beer. “She’s looked like shit since we got here.”

The comment caused Bianca to get out a guffaw of laughter.

“Karl, what the fuck?” Sutan snorted, looking at his friend with an annoyed glance.

“I’m only telling the truth.”

Sutan looked like he was just about to continue his dressing down of Karl, when Raja cut in. “She’s obviously miserable. I really don’t know why you brought her here, brother dear.”

“Because I love her?”

Raja turned her attention to Courtney, a half smile on her lips. “We went to Indonesia last year, just to say hi to the family that hasn’t seen our twins yet, and Violet was sick from the moment we got there.”

“To be fair.” Raven chimed in. “I’d like to remind you that you were we the one that insisted we all had roadside Gado-Goda and plastic bag wine.”

/////

“Ahem.”

Fame looked up into Courtney’s face, blood pressure rising as the blonde shifted awkwardly. She plastered on her biggest, warmest smile.

“Hello, Courtney.”

“Hi, miss...um…” Why did Courtney always turn back into a stammering, self-conscious 21 year old around Fame?

“Umh.”

What should she even say? Despite Adore’s assurances that everyone was thrilled that she was coming, it was abundantly clear that Fame felt quite the opposite. So Courtney cleared her throat and settled on a lame, “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, dear.”

“And um...thank you for letting me tag along.”

Fame smiled again. So they were pretending that she’d had a choice in the matter? Well, fine. Fame could play. Especially when she sensed Bianca’s presence so close by.

“Of course, darling.” Fame touched Courtney’s arm, giving an Oscar winner performance of someone who cared. “We’re just so blessed to have a movie star grace us with her presence.”

If prayer worked, a hole would open up on the beach and swallow Courtney right up.

“Th-thanks…” With nothing else to add, Courtney backed away, nearly running to get back to Jinkx’ side.

Bianca leaned over Fame’s shoulder, softly mimicking her voice. “We’re just so blessed-”

“Oh hush.” Fame shivered, Bianca’s breath hot against her ear. “I’m doing my best.” Fame bit her lip, annoyance eating away at her.

Bianca dumped down next to her, rolling her eyes, the same strange vibe radiating from Bianca.

“So. Courtney’s here.” Bianca said to her, trying to keep her voice low. “That’s fun,”

“Fun? Is that what you call it?” Fame asked, adding in an equally quiet but furious voice, “I can’t believe you. This is my birthday, and it’s not like I bop along to whatever pop trash she puts on the radio. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me-”

“Didn’t tell you? I didn’t know she was coming!”

“... You didn’t?”

“No! I almost had a heart attack when I saw her!” Bianca exclaimed, then shook her head. “I’m gonna kill Adore...”

“Can I help?”

Bianca laughed, leaning a head on Fame’s shoulder. “Shit.”

“Are you gonna be okay? I know you haven’t seen her since-”

“I’ll be fine.”

Fame relaxed a bit, thinking to herself that maybe having Courtney there wouldn’t ruin things after all.

/////

{I brought you lunch.}

{You’re doing it again.}

{Doing what?}

“Speaking French.”

Violet looked up from her magazine, the stack next to her chair almost 20 volumes tall. She turned her face up, Sutan giving her a quick kiss, his lips soft against hers.

Sutan had laughed when she had cleared out a Relay at the Charles de Gaulle airport, her old backlog of unread magazines in her own suitcase. Violet tried to make time to keep up. Fashion magazines was what brought her from the New York City Ballet to Parsons, and while studying one of the biggest reasons she had learned french was so she could read L’Official, Numéro, Vestoj, and the french editions of Vogue, Elle and Marie Claire. When she had worked as Fame’s assistant, she had been able to stuff one in her purse and bring it out whenever the was a few moments of quite or waiting.In design Trixie had almost demanded they kept up. At Dior though, they rarely had a moment of not being on their feet, the dresses they produced so much more labor intense no matter if it was for the Haute Couture runway or if it was for a private client. Violet loved every second of it, loved how she was challenged, how she learned new techniques every single day watching the absolute masters of their craft in work by beading delicate patterns or pulling a single thread to make a stunning gown pop from flat fabric into the silhouette it was supposed to be.

“Oh?” Sutan looked confused for a second, before he laughed, the warm sound coming from the bottom of his chest. “I guess I am.”

“Thank you.. You didn’t have to.”

“I did.” Sutan smiled. “Can’t have you starving, right?”

Sutan sat down, and Violet sat up straight, a small smile on her face. Violet looked at the platter of food Sutan had brought her, the fruit looking delicious, though she felt scared of even touching it, another spell of nausea hitting her halfway back to the cabin after breakfast.

“Bon appetit.”

Violet sometimes wondered what it was like inside her boyfriend’s head - Indonesian, English and French all swirling around. She had no idea how he didn’t go into a near catatonic stage with all the sounds of his friends around him, Sutan easily switching to Indonesian with Raja, while Raven spoke Russian to her twins if she felt like it and even Adore and Bianca could go off in broken Spanish, both insisting they knew the language though they could barely cobble together two sentences.

Violet took a banana, peeling it slowly.

“Do you want to go to the beach?”

Violet took a bite out of the fruit, no nausea twisting in her stomach, so she took another bite, the banana sweet on her tongue.

“Ouch!” Violet looked down, Sutan smiling as he had just pinched her toe, her poor defenseless feet laying on the ottoman. “What did you do that for?”

“Are you coming?”

“Was it that good for you?” Violet pulled her foot to her, rubbing her toes. “Because I have to say I’m not very turned on.”

“I promise to inform you if I suddenly develop a fetish for pinching your toes.” Sutan already had all his things packed, his towel slung over his shoulder. “Now come on, we have to get the waves while they’re still good.”

Violet had heard Sutan perfectly well the first time he had mentioned going to the beach, but she had hoped he would have forgotten about it.

“You know I can’t swim.”

Sutan looked stunning, his hair barely styled, his skin already glowing from the sun, not that Violet had any idea how since hadn’t even been in Brazil for a full 48 hours.

“Please?”

Sutan was wearing tan khaki shorts and an open white shirt, and Violet considered for a moment if going to the beach would be worth it just to watch Sutan run around. Hadn’t Detox said something about a volleyball game? Violet was just about to agree, when she felt a small yawn sneak up on her. Besides, if she went, she’d have to change into the bathing suit she had brought with her, which she had barely even been able to look at it, too worried what her body would look like in it.

“I’d rather not.”

“Fine.” Sutan looked almost defeated, and Violet felt a sharp sting in her heart. He leaned in, kissing her lips. “Last chance?”

“Tomorrow?”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

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putschki1969 · 6 years ago

Photo

Wakana ~ B-PASS 2019 March Issue

Note: I finally got my copy of the newest B-Pass issue and my single (how come everyone received their CD ages before me? T_T)! Anyways, there is only a two-page interview with Wakana in this but I think it’s a GREAT interview, very nice and insightful (especially when it comes to the lyrics). You could probably read a lot into it if you wanted. It was money well spent. Please keep in mind that my Japanese is not perfect, all mistakes are mine.

■ After your time in Kalafina what did you think, what did you feel when you started singing all by yourself? 「It felt like I was going with the flow, like I was surrendering myself to the course of events. I was presented with lots of great opportunities, I got the chance to face many new challenges by going solo. It was a smooth and quick transition. Thanks to that I wasn’t forced to take a long break and I was able to continue singing in 2018」

■ So you went straight into your solo career without really getting the time to think about what you want to sing or what kind of singer you want to be...? 「Shusui, the composer of my song “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” asked me at the beginning, "what kind of songs would you like to sing?” But truth is, at that point the only important thing for me was to continue singing so I just wanted him to use my voice in whichever way he liked.」

■ You are happiest when you are singing. You wanted to become a singer ever since you were a child? 「I also really like drawing so back in elementary school I wanted to become a manga drawing opera singer *laughs*. Now the most important thing for me is singing and using my voice. When it comes to drawing it’s like there is a switch, sometimes I am into it, other times not so much. But it’s different with singing, my love for singing never changes, it’s always there and I am always having fun with it. Therefore I want to have confidence in my voice. Of course I am hitting walls sometimes and there are moments when I am wondering why I can’t sing the way I want to sing... but that’s just life, even if I have doubts like that, it can’t be helped *laughs* 」

■ When you overcome your troubles, when you cross those walls you will feel a sense of accomplishment, the songs born out of that feeling will surely convey a lof of power and strength to your audience. Also, by having a great time while singing you will nourish your singing voice. 「When I attend a live I am always seeking out voices that make me feel good, that cleanse my heart. Speaking of which, I attended some great lives by amazing people in the latter half of last year. They were all awesome! I was incredibly moved by those performance which made my wish to continue singing even stronger. I attended a Yumi Matsutōya live show for the very first time in my life, I was super surprised to see her dancing. Yuming-san’s performance was beyond anything I could have ever imagined, I couldn’t help but cry! 」 ■ I think your music also has this kind of quality to it. Your first single is about to be released soon. It was decided that “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” would be your solo debut? 「Actually, I have known Shusui-san ever since I was 19 and went to my first audition in Tokyo. We really transcended time, didn’t we *laughs*? Now after all these years have passed we are reunited again through this song, it sounds like the story of a TV-drama. This was also the first time in my life to write lyrics for a song.」 ■ What did you think of the song when you first listened to it? 「It seemed like the kind of song that would be played at the end of a movie. It's a collaboration between Swedish composer Anders Dannvik and Shusui so it has a sort of Northern European vibe to it. It’s not at all influenced by anything that’s trendy right now. There is a lot of weight to it but it builds up and it might not be noticeable at at first listen, at its core it is a quiet and relaxing song.」

■ So you wrote the lyrics? Did you have any experience or practice writing lyrics? 「I had written some short novels and poems in the past but never lyrics. I always wanted to try it but I didn’t think I would ever get the chance, it didn’t seem like something I was meant to do. When I received the opportunity to write these lyrics I was very happy but at the same time I also felt an enormous weight of responsibility. I worried about all the people that would eventually see my lyrics...,but no matter how much I worried, it couldn’t be helped, I had to write these lyrics, "I have to put my feelings into words!” “Ughh, it’s so hard to find words that fit the melody!” “I can’t write anymore!!!” Having all these things constantly going through my mind I got incredibly invested on an emotional level and eventually managed to come up with something. By the third draft I decided my lyrics would be ready for pre-production. Feeling relieved I pretty much collapsed and fell asleep on the spot. My neck was sore for days after that *laughs*. I really put my entire body into those lyrics.」 ■ The main theme of the lyrics is “separation”, I think depending on age the song will resonate differently with people. We experience partings in all kinds of life situations...people will be separated through death, there might be a farewell between lovers or we are saying goodbye at the day of graduation... I think this song can make people feel many different emotions and it can be interpreted in various ways. 「I had a lot of things on my mind when I wrote the lyrics. Parts of the lyrics are based on personal experience I guess. But I performed this song back in August together with an orchestra and then I sang it multiple times during my autumn tour. During these performances I read lots of different impressions from fans which also changed my interpretation of it. I am always curious to hear interprations by others. But there is one thing I definitely wanted to convey with this song, it’s something I firmly believe in...It is okay to say goodbye to lovers, to friends, to precious people, it is okay to face yourself and realise that you have left your old self behind. Farewells are inevitable but I am sure that one day we will all be able to meet again - once we have achieved everything we set out to do.」

■ I think there is a strong sense of separation and loneliness in the first and second chorus, especially with phrases like “over and over again” you can feel the wish to be reunited again. But then during the bridge there is this line here, “within this incomplete heart of mine you are there with arms wide open smiling at me” and you realise that your loved one has always been nearby, close to your heart. 「Memories fade away, each and every moment becomes the past. Even if you are merely living life away, your life ends up transcending time. That is why I think it is the most important thing to always look straight ahead and face life head-on. Within the grand scheme of things we are but a tiny root, just a little thing. I wanted to express this sense of loneliness.」 ■ There is a strong sense of hope and light throughout your song. The final chorus in particular feels very grand. 「The lyrics carry a lot of weight I suppose so I guess that’s why. There is this hope that even when your life ends, you know that you will be able to meet again. I put a lot of emotion into that particular part. I wanted it to sound as passionate as possible without making it turn into a scream. These lines were very difficult to sing.」 ■ There is heat and passion in this song but also a sense of translucency. I think that is also very reflective of your voice; your voice is like a weapon, unique and effective, hitting you right in the heart. During the final line “kokoro wa soba ni iru/my heart will be by your side” there is a pause between “soba ni” and “iru”. I thought that was quite lovely. 「After pre-production I came up with this idea, I thought it might sound nice. I tried singing it like that during my autumn tour and I really liked this moment of silence. That nuance of relief, of finally getting to rest, I wanted to include it in the recording and I think it turned out well.」

■ Speaking of your tour, the coupling song “Tsubasa” is a live recording from your Minabi BLITZ Akasaka concert, isn’t it? 「Since the A-Side is a studio song I chose a live recording for my B-Side. I thought it would be interesting to hear the differences, it will surely be lots of fun to experience that sort of contrast *laughs*」 ■ The melody and tempo are completely different, it is certainly a good contrast. 「 "Tsubasa” has a very courageous vibe so it feels quite different. 」 ■ Once again you wrote the lyrics? 「At its core the song is about being brave. It is very motivating and it can cheer you up. Takebe-san wrote this song for me, while listening to his piano demo on repeat I got this kind of vibe so I was able to write lyrics that did justice to the melody. 」

■ Within all this courage there is talk about a “town dyed in greyish colours” but you also write of “turning your face away from the dazzling lights”. 「Truth is, I don’t like having my picture taken and I don’t like being filmed. I do like the idea of preserving memories through photography and film and I am happy that we are able to do that sort of thing but I sometimes think that I will never be able to get used to this world of frenzied and blinding flashes of photo cameras. So the idea was to try and escape that grey world. If everything is black and white, you might miss out on many parts of this precious world. Imagine you love the sky for its beautiful colour, if the world were monochrome it would be a total waste. It’s this kind of feeling that I had in mind while writing these lines, looking at a world dyed in grey can be lovely of course but it is also nice to look at it in all its dazzling radiance. I thought everyone should get a proper look at this bright world.」 ■ So one has to spread their wings and fly towards it? 「By surrendering yourself to the stream you may be able to see a completely new world. It’s a similar feeling to always looking straight ahead at tomorrow and to make decisions that you won’t regret. Give it your best shot, spread your wings wide and fly as far as you can, this is what I wanted to convey.」 ■ We are faced with so many things on a daily basis and we have to overcome those things by relying on our own instincts. 「That’s right. Sometimes you may wonder why something is happening to you but truth is, it’s up to ourselves to decide how to handle the cards we are dealt. So much is going to happen to you but life and fate are nothing to be afraid of. Don’t be scared! Enjoy yourself!! It’s important to remember that because during our long life we will experience these kind of situations over and over again. From the point of view of an elderly person you realise that no matter what happens to you your experiences seem insignificant in comparison to the grand scheme of things. Keeping that in mind I was able to sing this song. In the lyrics there is an angel whispering, “At the moment of birth - Was it not decided that you would keep on living?” This angel is talking in a light tone... The words “keep on living” may seem a bit exaggerated but I wrote that line thinking, “as long as we keep on moving forward we are alive”. 」

■ It’s a song for everyday life I think, you are singing about ordinary change, about things that happen on a daily basis. Since it is a live version the wish to hear you live again grows stronger I suppose, you answered these wishes by announcing a spring tour that’s going to start in April. 「I was very nervous when I did my very first solo live tour last autumn but I also enjoyed it a lot! Now with the new album on its way the number of songs I can sing for my audience has increased considerably. I think it will be possible for the audience to experience a live that’s very reflective of who I am, it will be very Wakana-like.」 ■ Lots of things have been put into motion, where do you want to go from here? 「First and foremost I am grateful to be in an environment where I am able to sing. Therefore I would like to be a singer that can continue to sing. I would like to continue singing the songs that have been made for me recently but there are also lots of things that have been there before and that will continue to be there in the future. It may always be a bit troublesome but I think that’s fine. On top of that I would just like to be myself, I think there is a special coolness to just being natural. Even if things get troublesome from time to time, I would like to be a singer that enjoys singing.」 ■ When you are having a great time singing that feeling of joy will also be conveyed to your audience. 「Yes, I would like to have lots of fun with singing. That’s how I have always felt. I want people to look at me and think, “oh yes, this woman really loves singing!”」

Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni ~ English lyrics Tsubasa ~ Englisch lyrics

My Sweet Valentine’s Memory

While thinking of a childhood anecdote that “transcends time” and is related to Valentine’s Day Wakana ended up introducing her favourite chocolate "I remember handing out chocolates to the boys I liked back in primary school...*laughs* I was obsessed with pretty wrappings and other stuff. I would go to fancy shops to buy my wrapping kits. In primary school I was really into accessories like that." Did you make the chocolate yourself? "No, I usually bought it at the store *laughs*. I always wanted to do the chocolate myself but when I asked my mother about it she told me, “that’s way too troublesome!!” So I gave up on that idea *laughs*. This has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day but my friends and I would often gather at one of our homes to make sweets together. We made cookies and pralines." Do you like chocolate in general? "Truth is, I have never really liked chocolate all that much but there is one exception, Lindt chocolate, I love it so much! Long ago while I was in New York for a work trip I came across this awesome chocolate by chance, they were handing out Lindors at a store. These balls are so rich and delicious, even if you just have one you will be completely satisfied. It’s a beeline to happiness. What exactly do you recommend about Lindt? "There is a different taste to the milk! There are also lots of different limited flavours such as caramel, sea salt or strawberry. I think white-chocolate-chip might be my favourite, it’s so good~!! During the Valentine's Day season you will find lots of cute and pink chocolates. If you get the chance please be sure to try some of them (even if it’s not for Valentine’s Day) *laughs*”

#kalafina #my translations #my scans #b-pass #wakana #toki wo koeru yoru ni #tsubasa #long text post #valentine's special

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writings-from-unknown · 6 years ago

Text

Fairgrounds

Pairing: Emperor x Gloves

Another match done, another day ended and it was starting to become worrisome to the green Inkling. With only two days of the tournament left, who knows what will happen when the last drop of ink falls? While the king has taken his pawn’s request seriously, dragging him away after the end of the day, neither have truly talked about how they feel about their situation. It... Scared Gloves to think that this would all end after the tournament. Those taunting jokes that his team made have become the dearest wish he had.

But, it wasn’t his place to question his king. He was a pawn. He must wait, he can ask nothing more of a king. He’s already made his request as bold as he was at the time. Speaking of his request, the king’s sharp call cuts the air again. “Gloves, you should know to be next to me by this point after the matches end. Bold of you to keep your king waiting.”

The Inkling turns his heels immediately, walking over to the king without thought. It’s true, he knew better than to not be ready to follow Emperor after matches. Getting lost in thought was just an oversight. “Ah, my bad Emperor. I was just... Thinking about too much I guess.”

The yellow Inkling raises an eyebrow, as if about to question what could possibly be running through the other’s mind before dropping the look and shaking his head. “So be it. It’s not as if we could be late this time, we have all night.”

The green Inkling tilts his head. Since when did Emperor plan out events without there being a time on them? It was unusual at best, but most of this week has been as such with the king. It’s nothing to be concerned about anymore.

The king again grabs the other’s wrist and leads him away without resistance. No alleyways this time, just a stroll along the streets. Gloves notices, with some embarrassment, the questioning stares and fervent whispers that break out as they pass. What an odd sight must it be to see the king of Inkopolis dragging some boy along to who knows where!

But yet, Emperor seems to ignore all of this, again focused solely on his destination and the person behind him, just like the night of the fireworks. He could deal with whatever rumor the peasants were starting later on. For now, it was show time. There was only two days left to make an impression and tonight it was time to take out all the stops. Money is naturally of no concern, so it was time to be as extravagant as possible.

The King slows his pace, taking a few odd turns here and there, confusing Gloves once again. Where could he be going this time? The path he’s taking seems to lead nowhere in specific. The question dangerously falls from his lips before he can bite them. “Emperor... Where are we going? This doesn’t seem to lead anywhere...”

The yellow Inkling stops for a moment, looking back at his companion as if deciding if he deserves an answer. The green one stares down at the ground, an embarrassed blush slowly creeping up on his cheeks. Why did he ask that? He has no rig- “True. This path leads nowhere. I’m delaying us. While I said there was no way for us to be late, there is a way for us to be too early in my opinion. It would look much better at night.”

Gloves merely nods in response, once again his question receiving an answer throwing him off his flow. Emperor was far too lenient with him compared to others, something Gloves had picked up on and acknowledged with some embarrassment and suppressed hope. He almost wishes he’d stop being so nice and choke out whatever hope was curling up in his chest and making its home there.

But, yet again, the pawn will not argue. He enjoys the feeling as horrible as it would be to have it torn so cruelly away from him. May as well enjoy it until it comes time to suffer for his greed. The green Inkling has no doubts karma will come back to bite him for taking advantage of the king’s generosity.

Looking up at the sky, the regal Inkling seems to decide that it’s time to keep moving, again tugging the other along. Gloves can only be left to wonder about the other’s plans. There’s certainly no fireworks tonight and most places close when turf closes, unless there’s something special happening. Really, there should be no place that Emperor would bring them. However, the night falls and he’s still persistent on his plans as confusing as it may be.

“This way Gloves, we can go now and we’re almost there... I’m sure you’ll love it...” The pawn firmly believes he wasn’t meant to actually hear the king’s airy thoughts. Yet, he did, and the blush returns to his face. No one was usually so concerned about thinking about what he’d like specifically. It’s strange to think that the cold, regal Inkling was the only person to truly be considering what green Inkling would like specifically.

Another tug as the green pawn obviously slowed down a bit too much during his flustered state. Around the corner he’s dragged and is only met with more confusion. It was the pier where the fair was held each year, but the stores were all shut down for the night as it was still a day before the fairgrounds opened. Why here of all places? They couldn’t even go near the fair, the guards didn’t let anyone in before it opened.

Well, not usually. The green Inkling only stares in shock as Emp confidently tugs him past the guards and is met with only a stiff, worried salute. It shouldn’t be a surprise. Of course Emp could get access to the fair early, with his status and fortune. With a deep green blush, the pawn realizes that the king must have spent nearly a small fortune setting this all up. “E-Emperor? Why did you go so far over this...?” For once, there’s no response, just a flustered glare and a slight blush before the king looks around and again tugs his companion over to a ride.

Ride after ride, the two wondered around their private fair. The regal Inkling wasn’t wrong thinking his partner would love such a treat. However, the other was more nervous than usual being alone with Emperor as there was one looming threat...

The Ferris wheel was never a ride Gloves enjoyed. Too slow, too unstable... The seats rocking back and forth could only ever make Gloves think he’d just plummet to a rather painful death. However... Perhaps for just one night he might be able to forget such a thing. Just enjoy the time here with his king. He can’t disappoint him...

Though, at long last, the dreaded ride came up as Emperor led his pawn over to it. Gloves has to bite back a whimper. He could do this... Just for tonight, please just for one night... He’ll never have to do it again if he can just get through it now...

But yet, of course it can’t work that way when every instinct in his body screams to run away the moment the contraption moves. It only worsens when the ride suddenly stops near the top. An accidental glace down freezes the green Inkling solid. It’s too much, far too much, why did he think he could handle this?!

In a sudden movement followed by a surprised gasp from the regal Inkling, the pawn is clinging to him, shaking as a whimper escapes his lips. Gods it horrible, they’re going to fall. They’re going to fall, there’s nothing they can do about it, all they can do is suffer as it happens. No, no, no- “Gloves, look at me a moment, don’t look down.”

Why now?! He’s already panicking! And how can he NOT look down?! For once, the green Inkling hesitates to obey and whimpers once again in response. That is until a surprisingly gentle hand blocks his view from the ground and guides his vision up to meet spheres of a bright golden yellow hue. The touch moves down a bit to cup his face, a gentle thumb run across his cheek a few times in attempts to settle his terror.

However, even the king as blind as he can be to the thoughts of others can tell the gesture isn’t quite enough. With a gentle, almost sympathetic smile, the sun colored Inkling leans in, gently pressing his lips against the the other’s in attempt to calm him. A gesture repeated again and again to keep him calm.

Just as suddenly, the ride wasn’t so bad. The view from such a height in between the reassuring distraction could even be considered wonderful to the green Inkling. The ride remained in such a blissful state until they neared the ground, both flustered and looking away from the other once off the ride, though both were reluctant to be even somewhat apart from the other.

A thought crosses the green pawn’s mind as the two search for a snack and his blush deepens, suddenly freezing in place and stiffening up. The king notices such a change in his companion a mere moment afterwards, stopping himself and looking back at the other. “Gloves? Why have you stopped?”

Silence follows the question for a few seconds. The green Inkling takes a moment to compose himself. Questioning the king was still bold, even in their current situation, but he felt like he had too. “Emp... About what happened on the Ferris wheel... Why was that how you chose to try to calm me down...?”

A shocked look crosses the king’s face for a moment before a glare returns, glanced away from his companion and cast on nothing in particular. The king almost curses the colorful lights around the fairgrounds highlighting the yellow coloring his face. “I-It was nothing. You were panicking. You needed to be calmed down somehow. You would have ruined my jacket if you were kept in that state for much longer.”

The green Inkling stares at the other for a moment, a look of flustered determination dawning his face. Just like he thought, Emperor wasn’t going to make this week easy. He should have expected this to be no different. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me do this, or that I’m going to actually do this... But I should have expected it”

The king looks back to his pawn. What does he mean? Make him do what? He hadn’t issued a command. “Look... Emp... I’m... I’ve been... Ughh, why is this so difficult...”

The green Inkling rests his hand on his forehead a bit. The king remains silent, obviously expecting his subject to explain himself. Gloves sighs, the determined look being replaced by a shy, worried look. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for ages. I adore you even if you can be stubborn and oblivious to others occasionally. So... Can we just make it official? Would you be my... Would you be my boyfriend Emperor?”

The sun yellow Inkling pauses for a moment. He hadn’t expected to ever hear the words fall from the pawns lips. A slight smirk crosses his face as he walks over to the flustered mess his companion is before guiding his face to look up again and pressing their lips together once more, the calm, confident tone returning to his voice once the kiss breaks. “It’s about time. You shouldn’t have kept your king waiting like that. Now, I believe we were looking around the vendors?”

The green Inkling dazedly nods before being led off once again, an explosion of feelings disorienting him. The only coherent thought that the dazed Inkling can make out is that agreeing to sub in for Eging was certainly the best decision he’s ever made.

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #emperor x gloves #gloves x emperor #splatoon manga

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uselessnocturnal · 6 years ago

Text

Lifeline

olivarry week 2018 | day two | mythology

summary; Oliver would argue that Barry is no ordinary soldier. He is not a minor character. He is not a figure in the backgrounds, hidden by Oliver’s shadow. He is compassionate and loyal with a courageous and gentle heart who deserves better than what life throws at him. He is Oliver’s whole world. His lifeline.

Seduced by the promise of a glorious victory, Oliver chooses to fight against the Trojans to rescue Helen of Sparta. Barry, out of love and fear for his friend, follows Oliver into war; little knowing that the following years would test their steadfast friendship and their deepening bond.

notes; it’s seven am in the morning i have not slept and i got way too into this and i feel like i’m going to be at least a day late every day now ughh. I actually had so much fun writing this? It’s so long though you might be better off reading it on ao3. It’s heavily inspired by the song of achilles with touches of percy jackson.

read here on ao3!

In the midst of the blood and war and shouts, Oliver mourns.

It’s not a quiet mourning. Oliver sobs openly – gut wrenching sounds that mix seamlessly with the cries of war. He cradles a man, limp and cold, against his gold-plated chest, staring into his unseeing eyes and shouting at him – pleading with him – to wake up, please, I can’t do this without you. He prays to his mother, Thetis, and to Hermes, a god who favoured the young man Oliver held and yet there is silence.

The gods are busy. Or they don’t care.

If anyone paid closer attention to the greatest demigod of the ages, they’d be surprised. Why this desperate grief? Why mourn a man with such a shocking intensity? Whose death must it have been to undo the mighty Oliver?

Oliver would argue that the man was no ordinary soldier. He was not a minor character. He was not a figure in the backgrounds, hidden by Oliver’s shadow. He was compassionate and loyal with a courageous and gentle heart who deserved better than what life threw at him.

He was Oliver’s whole world. His anchor.

Barry.

In the age of Heroes, there is always one that seems to draw the short end of the stick. Barry was a disappointment to both his father and his kingdom. When other boys were going on their first hunt, Barry could barely raise a spear. Whilst other boys were adorned with laurel wreaths, Barry stood away from the competition. At the age of eleven, he had been taken in by King Robert of Starling Kingdom and lives there, an unwanted shamed prince, under the shadow of the king’s golden son, Oliver.

Oliver, just a year older than Barry, is everything that Barry is not – strong, beautiful, the son of the goddess Thetis – and under normal circumstances their paths would never have crossed. Turns out, this wasn’t normal and for reasons still unknown to Barry, Oliver takes an interest in him.

When he finds out Barry skips training, Oliver starts bringing him to his classes as an excuse. Turns out, Barry can’t carry a tune on the lyre to save his life. When Oliver’s tutor offers him a lyre and he attempts to play it, Oliver’s electric blue eyes stare at the younger boy with a mix of confusion and laughter, “I never thought anyone could make the lyre sound bad.” Oliver confesses, faux-wonder in his tone.

It’s a different feeling to the burning humiliation when he’s teased during training and, though he can feel his cheeks warm, laughter bubbles out of his throat and before long they’re just two boys giggling uncontrollably with an exasperated teacher sitting by helplessly.

Their tentative connection falls into a steadfast friendship. Barry starts spending a lot of time with Oliver, often invited to events that would usually be exclusive to the royal family. Throughout the years, they only grow closer, spending almost every waking moment with each other.

They lie together on the floor by King Robert’s feet as he weaves a tale of gods and creatures for them. At fifteen, Barry’s reached that stage where everything is growing and now he’s just a bundle of awkward limbs that seem to stretch out everywhere. Oliver, on the other hand, has grown into his body extraordinarily well all broad-shouldered and tanned muscle. Barry would complain that it was incredibly unfair if he didn’t secretly think that Oliver was the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

Barely listening to the king’s stories anymore, Oliver nudges Barry with his foot grinning like he’s just played the perfect joke. Barry rolls his eyes, hoping the darkness of the candle-lit room conceals his quiet blush, returning the smile with one of his own, kicking Oliver back eliciting a short laugh from him.

Robert, sensing their fidgeting, sits up straighter in his chair and lets a fond expression (albeit slightly disgruntled at the interruption) cross his face. He rises, gesturing the two to follow as they leave the room to the corridor. Barry stands to the side as they share a quick, private conversation. Robert points at one of the slave girls down the corridor and he’s not quite sure why but his heart drops to his stomach and an uneasy feeling overcomes him.

It’s around this age that both the boys would be starting to bring girls back to their bedrooms. Barry knows for a fact that the other boys Robert fosters have as they brag about their conquest the next day. As far as he was aware, though, Oliver hasn’t had anyone in his room and it seems that the king was getting concerned.

Having finished his conversation, Robert bids the two goodnight and returns to his chambers. The two stand silently for a moment, two silhouettes in the darkness.

Barry plays with his fingers for a moment before meeting Oliver’s striking eyes (even though he’s a year younger, he’s fairly sure he’ll be taller than the demigod) before asking quietly, “What did your father say?”

He can just about detect movement as Oliver shakes his head and responds in a low voice, “He told me that the girl has been staring at me the past few days. He says she’s intrigued.”

“Are you- are you going to bring her to bed?” Barry chooses his words carefully, swallowing the lump in his throat.

He almost can’t hold back a sigh of relief when Oliver shakes his head again.

“My father…” Oliver starts hesitantly, “he said my mother wants me to go and train with Chiron the Centaur and…I want you to come with me.”

Barry’s head spins. This conversation has just taken a complete one-eighty and though the thrill of going somewhere – leaving the palace – with Oliver (!) instructed by a goddess is overwhelming, there’s something about the statement that makes the whole situation seem almost forbidden.

He nods numbly, eagerly and still he asks, “Will your father be okay with it?”

A mischievous grin lights up his face, “Definitely not. You’re going to have to sneak out.”

“You’re joking.” Barry splutters, “I can’t do that!"

Oliver places his hands reassuringly on Barry’s shoulders, “You can,” he takes a step forward so they’re only an inch away from each other and he’s back to staring at those beautiful blue eyes, “I believe in you.”

The idea excites Barry more than it should. He’s barely prepared and he’s doubtful he’ll be able to pull it off but Oliver believes in him.

It fills him with a hope and pride that he’s never actually experienced. He spent the night going over a plan in Oliver’s room until they were pretty sure it was foolproof and he feels almost prepared.

He stands next to the king as Oliver kneels in a goodbye, his father looking on in pride. As Oliver rises and comes over to Barry, Barry can feel his heart clench at the mere thought of Oliver leaving. It’s a ridiculous reaction, especially since he knows he’s literally going to be chasing after than man in a few hours.

“I- I’m going to miss you,” Barry admits as Robert leaves the two alone in the courtyard.

“Me too, Barr,” Oliver confesses, unaware of the butterflies he had released in Barry’s stomach with the new nickname – how much of it was for show, Barry wasn’t sure. He’s not sure where the instinct comes from but he moves in to the man, arms outstretched for a hug. He can see the hesitance in Oliver’s eyes before something like screw it crosses his mind and they embrace each other tightly.

“I’ll see you around.” Oliver breath tickles Barry’s ear, his voice holding a secret only the two of them understand. He pulls away from the hug, cheeks dusted pink, turning sharply with his pouch over his shoulder, sword at his waist and venturing out of the castle and towards Mount Pelion.

King Robert seems to pity Barry, giving him the rest of the day off, leaving Barry with nothing to do until he sets his plan into action. The few hours without Oliver is harder than he’d thought it would have been. Without his company, there isn’t much Barry could do…it had honestly been a while since he felt this lost.

The plan starts after nightfall. It’s a simple plan really – the two had just decided to complicate it to entertain themselves. All Barry really had to do was take his weapons (of which he had little to no skill in using) and just run out of the gate. The hardest part is memorizing where to go. Thankfully this plan harnessed Barry’s few and greatest talents – speed and memory – so it really isn’t too much of a problem.

Running away from the palace is exhilarating. Ignoring the calls of guards who he knows will give up soon enough, this is the best feeling in the world. He can feel the air, the wind on his face and the ground beneath his feet, lifting him up and pushing him forward. The adrenaline pumps through his veins and he’s never felt more powerful before – running towards Oliver.

In the blanket of night, Barry’s hurtling through the jungle at the speed of light until he crashes into Oliver. The two of them fall to the ground and somehow they both know it’s each other. There’s no resistance as they tumble together across the dirt and leaves. Barry laughs breathlessly, flushing, as they roll to a stop, Oliver on top, a small but exasperated smile on his face.

“Sorry,” Barry breathes, “I was just…running.”

A small chuckle escapes Oliver, “It’s okay.”

Oliver’s weight eases off him and he offers a hand to Barry, “C’mon, we’ve got a long trip ahead.”

Barry grins and takes his hand.

It’s a few days until they reach where Chiron’s meant to be. They’re both exhausted and sweaty from the journey and all they want is to collapse. Because, yes, Oliver’s a demigod and he has a ridiculously high stamina and Barry can definitely hold his own but it’s more out of the comfort zone than they had both expected.

“We should be close.” Oliver announces, breathing heavily. Barry nods, a jerky motion, choosing to save his energy about ready to take a break. They both freeze as they hear a rustle in the trees. Oliver’s sword is out in a second and he shoves Barry behind him. A shadow looms over them and they’re met with a centaur…except he wasn’t quite.

Barry couldn’t help but stare, mouth slightly agape, at the human legs molding with the body of a horse. Chiron was different in that aspect, having two front legs that are human whilst other centaurs had the whole body of a horse. Though Barry had heard the rumours and seen the images, he was both fascinated and astonished by seeing the Great Chiron in real life. Chiron looked down on the duo, his dark eyes analytical and stern with a dusty grey beard that reminds Barry how old the centaur is and how much he must have seen. As the centaur towers over them Barry realises: This is what true power is.

“Son of Thetis, Prince Oliver of Starling,” Chiron’s voice, when he speaks, is rough and commanding, leaving no room for questions, “I have been expecting you.”

Oliver bows deeply and Barry scrambles to copy his movements, what were they to do in the presence of someone who has seen it all?

The centaur gestures them to rise and turns to Barry, “Bartholomew,” he starts, noting how Barry stiffens at the use of a name he hadn’t heard since he was exiled, “You are not supposed to be here.”

Quickly, Barry is reduced to nothing but a fumbling mess and crazy hand gestures, “Well- I –uh –just…” The words that leave his mouth are incoherent and he knows it, his cheeks flaming red.

He’s silenced by Oliver’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly and with the eloquence and confidence of a king responds for Barry, “He’s with me, Chiron.”

Chiron regards them silently, “and if I choose not to take him in?”

“We’re both coming,” Oliver’s confidence wavers at the question, “I –I’m not going without him.”

A knowing look crosses Chiron’s face, fleeting but definitely still there. Barry’s not sure if Oliver notices but puts it out of his mind as Chiron faces Barry once again bending down to him. “So, Bartholomew, this question is for you,” he directs, holding Barry’s gaze, “do you want to train with me?”

“Uh –it’s Barry,” he corrects without thinking, “and…yeah I’d be honoured to be trained by you.”

Chiron nods, seemingly pleased with Barry’s response. He gestures to his horse back, “Climb on and we will begin your training.”

Training with Chiron is hard, even for Oliver. Whilst they spend a lot of their time training with weapons like swords, spears and bows (a weapon which Oliver quickly grows attached to), they discover that Chiron has a lot more to offer than just combat training. The centaur pushes them to keep adapting and changing. He teaches the two simple medical practices – lessons that are not all that interesting to Oliver but something that Barry thrives at.

Often they’re left alone in the woods for a day. A test, Chiron explains, to practice adapting and survival skills. Together, they manage to make it through mostly unscathed, stretching Oliver’s hunting skills and Barry’s medical ones.

Even though they’ve both found something that they’re good at and want to practice further, Chiron forces them to keep up with all the training. Even if it means an exhausted Barry struggling to keep a bow in place and somehow hitting Chiron (who was behind him!) and if it means Oliver just accidentally killed his fake patient by giving him a poison instead of an herb.

It’s tough but together they endure it. They’re bond deepens until the word ‘friends’ can’t describe it. It’s more than that. They’re partners – they have each other’s backs, they understand the other without having to say a word. A connection like this, Chiron muses as he observes the boys (men – Oliver has just turned eighteen), it is something precious and rare and he hopes that the terrors of the future will not ruin that.

There’s a prophecy, you see, that Thetis revealed to Chiron a few months back. Oliver has two fates: to gain glory and die young or live a long and uneventful life of obscurity. Chiron barely had to take one look at the man and know which Oliver would choose. It isn’t that Oliver craves glory, but that he seeks to save his city. And Barry, Chiron is sure, will follow Oliver in a heartbeat wherever the man went. Regardless, they would both find themselves on a battlefield.

So when the announcement reaches the hills of Mount Pelion, Chiron doesn’t hide it from either of them.

“This is from King Menelaus?” Barry confirms brows furrowed in thought, though he knows that this is primarily Oliver’s decision.

“King Agamemnon of Greece, actually,” Oliver corrects distractedly, skimming the paper Chiron had passed to him, “Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped by the prince of Troy.”

Helen of Sparta. Now, there was a name Barry could remember from Robert’s stories. She is supposedly the daughter of Zeus and the most beautiful woman in the world. She had married Menelaus and now, for some reason, has been kidnapped by Paris, the younger prince of Troy. The situation itself seemed straightforward enough. Attack Troy. Rescue Helen. Do this by recruiting the greatest heroes of their time.

Barry can tell by the light in Oliver’s eyes that he’s intrigued or more likely, that he’s already decided he wants to go. Chiron had told Oliver in confidence about the prophecy and Oliver had of course told Barry (why did Chiron even attempt to keep it a secret he himself wasn’t sure). There was nothing more Barry wanted to do but just keep Oliver here – safe – at least for a little longer. At the time, as they rested in the comfort of Chiron’s cave upon a bed of emerald moss, the thought of war had seemed so distant.

“I’m going.” Oliver declares, leaving no room for argument, though he looks towards Barry slightly uncertainly.

Barry offers up a small smile and nods his encouragement, “I’m coming with you.” There’s an obvious relaxation in Oliver’s shoulders as he turns to retreat into the cave to pack, leaving Barry alone with Chiron.

“What troubles you, Bartholomew?” Barry supposes he shouldn’t be surprised by Chiron’s intuition or his persistent use of his full name, for that matter.

He shrugs, half-heartedly, “Is there any other way we can protect him?” he asks, letting a touch of desperation leak into his words, “I just-” Barry bites his lip, “I don’t want to lose him so soon.”

A despondent expression decorates Chiron’s aged face, “Fate has a funny way of working out…” he hesitates, “there is one way he can be better protected. But you should be warned it is a risky move for him.”

Barry swallows the lump in his throat but nods, waiting for Chiron to continue. To his surprise, he calls Oliver back. Barry looks at the centaur questioningly but is ignored.

“There is one more task I need you to fulfill.” Chiron instructs, “If you want to survive longer in this war, you need to bathe in the River Styx.”

Both pairs of eyes widen. “I thought the Styx was a myth.” Oliver states, questioningly, “Would I really become invincible?”

Chiron gives them both one of those I know all looks that they’ve grown accustomed to. “Maybe in a couple of millennial, people will think you’re myths,” his eyes sparkle for a moment but darken once again as he continues, “It will be a difficult journey. That you’ll have to take alone.”

Almost immediately, the men’s eyes jump to each other as they exchange a silent conversation until they reach an agreement. It’s almost amusing how they seem to instantly jump to each other for support, Chiron marvels; it has been a while since he has seen a love so strong.

“I’ll do it.” And with those three words, Oliver seals his fate.

Barry has to wait at Mount Pelion. It’s an agonising wait, especially since he doesn’t know whether Oliver is alive. He finds himself fretting about the man day and night. It’s almost like it physically pains him to be away from Oliver. He figures out early on the real reason why Oliver has to carry out the quest alone.

“You separated us on purpose, didn’t you?” Barry accuses Chiron on the cliff outside his cave, sounding more resigned than angry.

The wise centaur shrugs, facing the overlooking lake, “Why exactly would you think that?”

“Because we rely on each other too much. We’re too close?” Barry’s not entirely sure what the reason is, “Together we’re weak?”

At this suggestion, Chiron turns sharply towards Barry, “That is entirely false. I believe that together you are both stronger.”

He leans closer, his beard almost tickling Barry’s face “I also believe that you two have a loyalty towards each other that – if left uncontrolled – could lead either of you with a tough choice: to save the world or Oliver.”

Without sparing Barry an answer, the centaur gallops down the mountain and into the greens below. Logically, Barry knows he should save the world. That’s what a hero does after all. But in his heart, he realises that he would do anything to save Oliver even if it did mean bringing the world down in his wake.

He also realises that he loves Oliver. It’s a fierce love that Barry had never nurtured before but he had brushed it aside, thinking it may have just been a childhood crush. They had kissed and touched each other a few times whilst they were at Mount Pelion (usually when Chiron abandoned them for the night – it kept them warm!). Nothing more than that and although the feeling left both of them warm and buzzing with the heated touch of the other, it had never developed into something deeper.

Presumably, their love wasn’t just about the physical aspect. It was obvious in the way they move closer together when they were uncertain and confide everything in each other. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other when the other wasn’t looking and how they’re minds always jumped first to the protection of the other.

Barry doesn’t need to wonder if Oliver loves him. He knows that he does – it’s just that maybe Oliver hasn’t realised it yet. And even if he does, neither of them will know where to go from there. Although not frowned upon, most couples in Greece were of a different sex – and that was mainly for childbirth. If Oliver had been any other man in the city, it would not matter that he doesn’t have children. But as a prince, the eldest and only son of Robert no less, it was absolutely essential for him to bear a son to be the next in line to the throne.

He forces the thoughts out of his mind. There is no use in worrying about something that may not even happen, especially with the war coming up and the fact that Oliver still isn’t back yet.

Oliver returns a few days later, his strides are more confident and Barry can almost see a certain aura around him that screams powerful demigod. Yet, there’s a slight darkness to his eyes, a weight on his shoulders dragging him back. When he sees Barry though, his eyes brighten and he breaks into a jog towards the other man. Barry, grateful to every god and goddess that Oliver is alive, is already running towards Oliver for a very much longed for hug.

He gets something better.

Barry barely has his arms around Oliver when the stronger man picks him up so Barry ends up straddling Oliver, his legs wrapped around Oliver’s waist, he’s pressed up against his bare chest and his face is only a few inches apart.

“What was that–” He’s cut off as Oliver’s lips crash into his – it’s a desperate, hungry kiss mixed with blood and salt. A kiss more passionate than either of them had ever shared.

When they finally pull away from each other, lips red and swollen, Barry’s hazel-green eyes stare into Oliver’s a question evident.

“I’ll tell you later,” Oliver promises, “I just know that…I don’t want you to leave my side.” He mumbles, letting Barry slide down and pressing a kiss to the younger man’s forehead.

A flush spreads across Barry’s face, coupled with a smile, “I’d never leave your side, Ollie.” It’s not the first time Barry’s used that nickname and yet it sets Oliver’s heart on fire because it’s the first time it means something more.

Later doesn’t seem to come. As the two pack their sacks with their sparse belongings and some food for the journey, Oliver seems to delve into a spot of quiet consideration. Barry chooses not to push, trusting that Oliver will tell him when he wanted to, but worries silently by his side, hoping that no matter what happened, they would face it together.

When they reach Troy, the war has already gone on for five months and is in full chaos. There’s no way to tell which side is winning – there are high casualty counts on both. They’d like to believe that the Greeks are at an advantage with great heroes to help them like Heracles and Odysseus. And now, Oliver.

Barry feels like it’s obvious when Oliver joins the war. Even without prior experience, Oliver seems so…at ease with war. He makes fighting seem like a mesmerizing hacking art. His spear moves faster than the eye can follow, never stopping, ever-changing. It whirls, flashing forward, reverses, then flashes behind. On the battlefield, it is Oliver who leads men into victory, even though he is not the commander. It is Oliver who slays more of the Trojans than all the other Greeks do in total. He seems to be an unstoppable force and the Greeks love him for it.

They shower him in praises at the campsite; raise him on their shields as they return from their most recently won battle. The tent that Oliver shares with Barry soon becomes crowded with loot and other spoils of war. Everyone wants to talk to the greatest demigod of the ages.

Oliver, whilst civil in front of the soldiers, seeks solace after every battle with Barry. They keep their relationship quiet, sneaking kisses between battles and stealing touches every time their paths crossed. As the Greeks slept through the night, Barry and Oliver would bask in each other’s warmth, savouring each and every short moment they could share together.

At first, Barry is uncomfortable at the prospect of war, hesitant because there must be another way rather than killing. He had brought the worry up to Oliver once and the man had looked at him strangely. There is no other way, he’d said, not unkindly, he kidnapped a king’s wife. Oliver hadn’t laughed at him but he had been concerned and almost tried to stop Barry from going on the battlefield – worried that it would be too much for him to handle.

It took a lot in Barry not to snap back that he could handle himself. He may not be the most skilled, but gods help him if he sits by in Oliver’s tent as every other man goes out and fights for his country.

The war stretches on longer than they expect. What starts out as a couple of months turns into a year, which extends even longer to six years. There are heavy losses on both sides and yet neither side appears to give. At this point, Barry wonders if anyone actually knows what the Greeks had started out fighting for. If they still remembered Helen of Sparta who could be locked away in her ivory tower, watching as men still fought and died for her. It must be a difficult existence.

Barry spends his time either on the battle, barely scraping death, or in the Greeks’ temporary medical bay of the day. He does admit he likes it there more than he ever did on the battlefield. Here, he heals people with the skills Chiron taught him. He learns their names, faces and of their families back at home and listens to how much they misses them. This war has gone too long, men would often complain after thanking Barry, I just want to go home.

Home…Barry muses. Unlike these men, he has no connections outside of the battlefield. Yes, he misses Mount Pelion with its groves and rivers and Chiron always watching. But for him, home was wherever Oliver was.

Their relationship was still going strong over the course of six years. It was difficult to keep the façade, especially when King Menelaus keeps questioning why Oliver won’t take a slave girl for his pleasure when Oliver seems to capture so many of them. It wasn’t just because of Barry that Oliver wouldn’t keep the slaves.

He’d confided in Barry one night, “I feel powerful on the field…like I can do anything. But every life I take…I feel like I’m trading away…little pieces of myself…everything that makes me good.” He had hesitated as Barry squeezed his hand encouragingly, “I thought, if I didn’t keep the slaves…at least they wouldn’t have to look at the face that captured them in the first place.”

Barry had nodded in understanding, and drew the man into a kiss and capturing his cheeks with his hands as he pulled away. “You have nothing to compensate for,” he’d said, “You would not have come out the other side of this as a hero, if you didn’t have a light inside of you.”

The words had brought tears to Oliver’s eyes as he had let the younger man draw him close and rested in his protection.

A few weeks later, Oliver brings a girl to their tent. She’s dark-skinned with brown wavy hair and chocolate eyes. Barry and Oliver can barely communicate with her, only just getting across their names and receiving hers in turn – Iris.

Even with the communication barrier, Iris is incredibly talented with healing, making her useful in the med bay. As they treat the men, Barry manages to teach her little pieces of Greek and in turn she teaches him Latin, making it so that they could have basic conversations with each other.

They grow close. It’s a nice feeling to have an actual friend to talk to. They talk about anything they can, heavily avoiding the topic of war (to be fair it’s not in either of their vocabulary). Only after Oliver storms out of the tent upon seeing Barry and Iris laughing together does Iris bring it up.

“Oliver…uh…upset? Why?” She asks in her broken Greek though Barry gets the gist of her sentence even before she has to ask.

He hesitates for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, “I- He might be…jealous?” He tests the word, meeting her eyes to convey his message. He’s fairly sure she doesn’t understand the actual word but she already knows why Oliver’s upset.

“You two are…happy.” She states, smiling widely at him, “I go.” She points to the tent flap, as Barry stands up frantically, waving his hands in a panic.

Laughing at his concern that he’d hurt her feelings she puts her hands out to pacify him, “I help.” she punctuates her sentence with a wink, leaving Barry in a state of realisation as she leaves him alone in the tent.

Sure enough, Oliver returns seconds later, simmering with barely controlled rage.

“Ollie, what’s wrong?” Barry asks, concern colouring his tone.

Oliver shakes his head, “Look, I just… I need to clarify. Are you…doing anything with that girl?”

“Iris,” Barry corrects automatically, “and no, of course not!” I love you lingers on his tongue but it just seems too soon.

Oliver bites his lip and doesn’t meet Barry’s eyes, clearly not completely at ease.

“What else happened?” Barry pushes gently.

He sighs before delving into an explanation, “King Agamemnon captured a daughter of a priestess of Apollo and refuses to give her back even though Apollo has threatened,” Oliver clenches his fist, voice hardening, “to send a plague throughout our camps. I’ve tried to reason with him – to talk some sense into him – but he refuses unless-”

He hesitates, meeting Barry’s eyes carefully, “Unless I give him Iris.”

Barry’s world seems to stop for a second, glitch and then carry on, “I’m sorry –what?”

Oliver purses his lips and drops his gaze, nodding once more.

“No. No.” Barry repeats, coming up close to Oliver, “you can’t do this. There has to be something- ”

“There isn’t anything!” Oliver all but shouts in his face. Barry stares at him for a moment stunned as Oliver closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “The plague is already spreading. Soldiers are getting sick. They’re going to the medical tent. That’s where you are.”

He swallows and raises his eyes to the roof of the tent, closing them and then looking Barry straight in the eyes, “I can’t – I don’t want you to get infected.” Oliver’s eyes are glistening now and Barry understands now, why Oliver wants to do what he’s going to do.

“Look, the king promised he wouldn’t harm her and I just thought…”

Barry nods as Oliver pulls him into an embrace, “I understand…just let me talk to her.”

The conversation with Iris is a quick but tearful one. They convey their goodbyes in long hugs and he wishes her luck as Oliver takes her away to King Agamemnon.

Barry hoped everything would have been resolved in that moment. His heart plunges when Oliver strides back in to the tent and sits himself on their bed, fuming in quiet rage. Barry doesn’t ask questions this time. Instead he waits for Oliver to open up to him. There’s a long almost suffocating silence in the tent.

“I’m not fighting anymore.” Oliver states, his voice quiet and even. The proclamation startles Barry out of his spot on the cushions.

“What do you mean – What? Why?” Barry splutters. He can’t be serious. The Greeks – we – can’t win without him.

Oliver shakes his head stiffly, “Agamemnon – the king – he’s taken my honour.”

“You’re going to let the Greeks lose because the king wounded your pride?” Barry demands, infuriated. This is absolutely ridiculous.

“The Greeks aren’t going to lose.” Oliver growls, “He’s ruined my reputation! Everything I’ve built up over the years is overlooked now because he took my slave from me unwillingly!”

“You’re reputation?” Barry questions incredulously, “Oliver, you can easily get that back up within a battle. Nothing has been taken away from you! And Iris, she isn’t some object to be tossed around! She’s a person!”

“You can’t just abandon us because of something as petty as this. We need you.”

“When did it change from ‘the Greeks’ to ‘us’?” Oliver snaps, “When were you suddenly such a supportive member of their cause? You told me yourself: You didn’t think this was right.”

“And if you don’t help them, they’re going to die, Ollie. And you don’t want that on your conscience.” Barry’s voice breaks slightly as he stares into his lover’s beautiful, broken blue eyes. He can tell he’s gotten through to Oliver because of the flicker of regret that dances across his eyes.

A horn sounds in the distance – the signal for a battle about to come.

The two of them stare each other down in the doorway of the tent, Barry urging Oliver to go and Oliver wanting to go but hesitating to nurse his pride. Sighing Barry gathers Oliver’s armour.

“Just this once, I’ll go out in your armour,” he compromises, not letting Oliver speak, “we can’t let them lose any of the battles when we’re so close to defeating the Trojans.”

“Hopefully, just seeing your armour alone will scare people away.” Barry shrugs, “Even then, I should have enough skill to manage myself.”

Oliver looks doubtful at the idea, concern written across his face and yet, still too stubborn to take up the armour himself. One day, Barry swore, Oliver’s pride would be his downfall.

“I’ll lead them well,” Barry reassures Oliver, adjusting the straps of armour to fit him a bit better.

“I know you will.” Oliver murmurs, pulling the man into a final kiss before he left. It’s a soft and quick kiss before Barry moves away, smiling at his best friend and lover.

“Come back to me,” he pleads, “As soon as you beat the Trojans back to their ships bring the armour back and I’ll take over.”

“I’ll do whatever I have to.” Barry promises.

He takes to commanding with a surprising amount of ease. With people already believing he was Oliver, it isn’t difficult to have the sway he needs to convince them to attack. Though his technique is not as swift as Oliver’s, Barry is able to disarm and injure many of the Trojan army. He understands now, why Oliver is so involved in fighting. There’s a tiny taste of power every time a man falls, coupled with a bitter taste in his mouth that quickly diminishes the euphoria. It does give him that tiny boost of confidence, though.

Barry had been involved in enough battle plans to know a good strategy and he managed to push the Trojans back almost, dare he say it, easily. It makes a further attack all too tempting.

In a split second decision, he continues the fight, leading the Greeks towards the already weakened Trojans in an attack that Barry is almost sure they can win. He knows he’s smart enough to pull it off.

As they’re charging to attack, Barry stops suddenly. His mind completely blank – wiped clean – so that he can’t even remember what he’s doing, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. A single name sits on his lips as he tries to shake off the disorientation and remember what he is doing. It’s important. It’s a mission. I was doing it for…for… the Greeks no…for Oliver.

And it’s with Oliver’s name that the disorientation clears and his wits return to him. Barry can barely understand what just happens but he doesn’t have time. He needs to find Oliver and –

a sharp pain blossoms from the middle of his stomach. He clutches blindly at the shaft of a spear, searching for the end of it until – oh – it’s inside him. Barry stumbles backwards, for a battlefield it’s surprisingly empty until he realises he’s no longer on the field.

He must have chased the man – Hector, prince of Troy – around the walls unknowingly. But how did that happen? Surely, Barry couldn’t have been stupid enough – the gods. A god must have cursed him – taken his wits in that moment – weakened him so that Hector could finish him off.

Barry is no longer wearing Oliver’s armour. Hector must have taken it before he retreated. “Oliver,” he mumbles half-deliriously, “I need to get the armour to him.” A face hovers over his, blue-eyes but Not Oliver because this man does not have the same chiseled jaw as Oliver. Voices are swimming in his head, blending together so they don’t make sense.

There’s just one voice he wants to hear. “Oliver.”

The man, King Menelaus, protecting his body nods and in a moment of clarity Barry hears, “I’ve sent someone to get him.”

His body relaxes in relief. Oliver is coming.

The spear sends a last pulsing, shuddering throb throughout his body. Barry’s eyes close. A final, trembling breath leaves his lips. And then, as Oliver sprints across the field calling Barry’s name, Barry lets go.

In the midst of the blood and war and shouts, Oliver mourns.

He had run straight into the midst of all the chaos with only one man in mind – Barry. He finds him soon enough or rather his body, protected by King Menelaus and Ajax. Barry is laying so incredibly still, a spear buried in his stomach, a small pool of coppery blood watering the ground beneath him.

He gathers the man up in his arms. He’s so cold – nothing like the warmth Barry radiates the moment he steps into a room. It’s so rare to see Barry still – there had barely been a moment where the boy hadn’t been moving. He was always fidgeting with something or other or even when he was standing still… it felt like he was flittering.

It’s not a quiet mourning. Oliver sobs openly – gut wrenching sounds that mix seamlessly with the cries of war. He cradles a man, limp and cold, against his gold-plated chest, staring into his unseeing eyes and shouting at him – pleading with him – to wake up, please, I’m sorry, Barry please, I can’t do this without you. Barry. He prays to his mother, Thetis, and to Hermes, a god who favoured the young man Oliver held and yet there is silence.

The gods are busy. Or they don’t care.

Oliver would argue that Barry was no ordinary soldier. He was not a minor character. He was not a figure in the backgrounds, hidden by Oliver’s shadow. He was compassionate and loyal with a courageous and gentle heart who deserved better than what life threw at him.

He was Oliver’s whole world. His anchor.

Barry. He’s crying now, choking on his grief, tears mingling with the sweat on his face and dampening Barry’s tunic as he holds the man closer to his heart.

Barry was more than a lover. He was Oliver’s best friend and closest confidant. They were partners who held each other on a special level of trust. Barry had been the first person he had thought of when

the nymph of the river Styx had said, “You need a mortal point.”

“A what?” Oliver had asked. A mortal point for an invincible body? That sounded ridiculous.

Styx, had calmly uncreased the folds in her dress, sighing as though she had heard this kind of incredulity all before. “You need to stay anchored to your mortal life.”

When she’s met with even more confusion she rolls her eyes, “Imagine a spot on your body that will remain vulnerable. This is where your soul will anchor your body to the world. If you lose sight of what keeps you mortal, the River Styx will burn you to ashes. And you will cease to exist.”

Oliver had stared at her for a moment and then at the river. Thinking carefully before he chose, he concentrated on a small spot under his left armpit. It was unlikely that anyone would aim a weapon there and, with armour, it would be relatively well protected.

Closing his eyes to brace himself, he imagined a string like a bungee cord connecting him to the riverbank. Without thinking, he jumps.

It’s a terrifying moment when everything burns and he can’t control his muscles. Every nerve was dissolving, screaming in pain. This was one of his first real battles. And he was already losing.

Oliver could feel his soul literally burning away, being ripped from his body. His hands and feet felt like they were melting into the river. He wanted to give up.

But he couldn’t.

“Oliver! The cord!” Oliver could hear a voice through the murky water, “Remember your lifeline.”

Oliver focused on the cord, imagining it thicker and stronger, ignoring the pain and the oh gods, what’s my name. He felt a tug through the cord and looked up.

Barry stood on the bank, smiling down at Oliver, “Hold on, Ollie! I’ll give you a hand.”

Barry’s voice was clearer now. Oliver could feel himself stop dissolving.

“Come on,” Barry says, a light in those beautiful hazel-green eyes, “Take my hand.”

Memories came rushing back, sharper and clearer than before. Memories of him with Barry in the palace in Starling, plotting to escape together, tasting the sweet fruits of the forest Chiron offered. The current stopped pushing him down. His name was Oliver. He reached up and took Barry’s hand.

He had emerged from the river, gasping and spluttering, scanning the area for Barry even though Oliver knew he shouldn’t be there. It had seemed so real. No one was there but Styx, relaxing on a rock, looking only mildly impressed that he’d survived.

The pain had subsided. He wasn’t sure if it had worked but…at least he was alive.

“Thank you, Lady Styx.” Oliver bows, not entirely sure how to treat a river nymph.

Styx shrugs indifferently, “You’ve just committed yourself to a lifetime or hardships.” She hops off the rock and rises to his height. “I’ll give you a piece of advice though.”

“Whoever you saw…whoever pulled you out? He is your real lifeline. You have to protect him because without him, you’ll lose all sense of mortality. It won’t be a fast process but his death will weaken you. Do not, under any circumstances,

lose Barry. Oliver had lost Barry.

Barry, who on his journey back, Oliver had realised he loved with a burning passion.

Barry who only wanted the best for everyone.

Barry who Oliver had tried so hard to protect just for his arrogance to get in the way and now…

Barry was gone.

#olivarryweek2018 #ancient greece au #olivarry #oliver queen #barry allen #song of achilles #barry as patroclus #oliver as achilles #angst #lots of it #but also fluff #i hope for your sake that the line break works #lyss writes #arrowverse is whack #greek mythology au

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shayminbraginski · 4 years ago

Text

A Newer Old Entry #4

08/28/3023

Audio entry 1-

Our base is pretty big, I never got to explain what the place is and how it works, so here’s a description.

Scientists call us “Anthropomorphisms”, or “Anthros” in short. We are basically humanoid animals... Umm, I hope that makes sense. We were genetically made, but not fully genetically actually. Our mothers and fathers were the first to actually make it out alive from the labs. They then lived their lives like normal, that’s what I believe. An example of these anthropomorphs, is me~ I’m Koi, as you might have known. I’m a mix of a common black and white tabby cat and a white serval. My serval side doesn’t show as much other than the big ears and probably better agility than the common cat. I’ve got the normal amber eyes like any usual person’s eye colour, except I also have stars for pupils. I don’t know myself how my pupils came to be like that, even the scientists couldn’t figure it out when I first opened my eyes. There are many other anthros like me, except different genes. Crimson is a mix of a gray tiger and panther, that’s what mostly gives off her dark and mysterious vibes, ha-ha. Moving on.. We keep hearing things about being let out into society. But I don’t know much of what that means. The scientists say that we would soon be seeing more humans, since the only ones we see are the scientists that check us on a monthly basis. But, I guess when they meant seeing more humans, they actually meant we are to stay hidden. This is really hard to explain but, we were created by the government to become assassins. And I’m sure everyone knows the job of an assassin. But our true goal is to assassinate people who are called the “Carouselians”. Some of these people are like us anthros. Others are humans that we are meant to find. These Carouselians hold certain devices. These devices are able to go through time, and are capable of changing history, something the government wants to destroy. This is what we were told. Crimson, I believe has more history with the Carouselians, I don’t know her story yet, but whenever we secretly roam into the world, she’s usually the first to get the kill and she always does it in a way that makes one know she’s been through a lot, and just wants her revenge. It’s sort of fun, but I don’t have many kills myself, I guess Crimson wants to have the highest kill count.

The organization we are in is very large. It’s hidden inside a ton of forestry, far away from society. It’s so secure that no one can ever get a glimpse of it and live. Anyone who sees it, well, you know the drill... They are killed. The organization is like that of a university or college; it includes classrooms, a large cafeteria an extremely large gymnasium, a huge room for meetings, dorms, and a really large field full of flowers, it’s called the garden, but I don’t even know if it should be called a “garden”. It’s so big, it goes farther than the eye can ever see. I usually go there to relax during any spare time I have, or if I’ve been pretty down.

I was heading to the garden today. I thought I’d sit under the old tree that sat at the edge of it. Probably take a short nap while I’m there. I told Crimson and V that I’d be there, so if something were to be announced, they’d know where to find me. As soon as I got out of the building, I could feel every part of me relax. The smell of flowers filled the air, petals flew in many directions, and the breeze was so soothing I would’ve already collapsed and fallen asleep right outside the door. I made my way up a hill that led to the old tree. I was surprised I wasn’t the only one there. It was Shaymin, she was sitting in the shade, leaning back on the old tree, with a sketchbook and pencil in hand. Usually I come here when no one’s around, so I was disappointed seeing someone had already taken a spot under the tree. Thinking that Shaymin hadn’t noticed my presence, I was about to head back when someone called, “You don’t have to leave just because I’m here, you know.” It was Shaymin of course, seemed she noticed I was here after all. She looked towards my direction, “Are you not going to enjoy the view?” she asked, closing her book, it seemed like she was getting ready to leave. “Are you leaving?” I asked, I misplaced my wordings that I sounded extremely rude. “If it makes you happy~” Shaymin replied, smiling as always, I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or she actually meant it. “No, um wait that’s not what I meant. Uh, sorry I sounded rude. Umm, hi, I just didn’t expect to see you, since it’s always empty.” I nervously said, annoyed at my own rudeness. “Ah, I see. Wait.. Is it always empty like this?” Shaymin seemed rather confused. I nodded, “Always has been.”

“Really.. That’s interesting, I wonder why.”

“It is pretty crowded during bright skies and days of full moons, or some special occasions. I guess some people might not have time to come here.” I added.

“Ah, then that makes some sense.” She said after a long pause, and then asked, “So, are you just going to stand there at the edge of the hill? Or are you here to relax yourself?”

I felt stupid, I’m standing here like a statue, what the hell is my problem? “Uh no, I just came here to relax, that’s all, umm...” I quickly said, making my way over to the old tree. “Alright, then I’ll take my leave.” I heard Shaymin say, it took me a long time to realize she was leaving, well that’s what I thought. Thinking she might’ve taken my words wrong again, I called after her, “No, uh, wait, you don’t have to leave because of me, I-” “Leave? I’m not leaving. I’m simply going to see the flowers.”

“Oh.” I said stupidly, guess I didn’t realize she was going toward the flower field rather than the building.

“Also, can you take care of my sketchbook for me, please?” She asked pointing at something I was about to accidentally place my right foot on. In an attempt to avoid stepping on it, I swung my foot to the left, which made me trip and clumsily fall over. “Son of a- OUCH!” I had just managed to avoid hitting my head on a rock, but I’m clumsy and I hit another rock instead. “Ughh” I groaned, annoyed by myself. Shaymin was just heading over to ask if I was okay, I raised my hand, “I’m perfectly fine! So can you go about your own way please?” “Suit yourself.” Shaymin shrugged, “But make sure you fix your hair~” she then added, holding in a small laugh. (Shoot, was my hair like this the whole day? No wonder V was having trouble keeping a straight face. Ugh.) I brought myself up, took out my hair-band, and tied my pony-tail up. Then I lay back against the tree, letting out a sigh. I closed my eyes for a while, attempting to get a nap, then my head started throbbing, it wasn’t bad, it just disrupted my precious sleep. I opened my eyes annoyed, then lay myself in various positions to try and make me get some sweet dreams. But that didn’t work. Then I noticed Shaymin’s sketchbook. I scanned the flower field wondering if she would see me peeping into it. She must have walked into the center of it, since I couldn’t see her. I opened her sketchbook, flipping through the pages. They were filled with beautiful and realistic sketches of sunflowers, I guess those were her favourite. I looked back at the flower field, this time at an area filled with sunflowers. I was wondering if Shaymin would be hanging around that area, but I still hadn’t seen her. I kept turning the pages, admiring Shaymin’s art. Then one image caught me, a rather disturbing one. It was a portrait, and although the person in it was facing back, it was easy to recognize them, it only shocked me to see it was Shaymin. The portrait was a dark pencil sketch with no colour, gray-scaled. The photo was so realistic, it was easy to make out the deep cuts that covered the back of Shaymin, “Ah- You shouldn’t be seeing that.” I saw a blurry flash of blue come from above which snatched the book away, “HEY WHO-” I whirled around, wondering what idiot was trying to play a sick prank and steal someone’s book. But no one was around. Thinking that they might be on the other side of the tree, I raced around it, back and forth, “Damn iiiit- Shaymin’s gonna be so mad that I lost her book. Why is today treating me so badly...??” I fell onto my hands and knees, exhausted and dizzy. I had been running around this tree for who knows how long now. I rolled over to lie on my back, “hH- How long have I been running???” I thought aloud.

“Hmm, about 1 minute.” a voice replied.

“Just one minute? Have I really gotten that lazy lately?” I replied, not realizing I had just heard someone-

[vizzzz] [click]

#shayminbraginski #koi f jones #uhoh #storytime #rip koi #furry

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survivorathena-allstars · 7 years ago

Text

Rites of Passage

It is time for the Rites of Passage. Take this time to reflect on your journey in this game as well as the people who left for you four to be where you are now.

Please play the audio and enjoy your experience.

youtube

fuck my tribe !

Ali Unfortunately, you were the only player this season I never got to play with, which is a real shame! I think you are one of the iconic faces of the Athena series, so it was only fitting that you went out in the blaze of glory your tribal sounded like it was! I hope to see you around in a VL or something and get the chance to know you!

Dana So sorry you were the first to go girl!

Kevin I love the W I N N E R of Motu Maha!! I'm sad you died so early on bc we needed a redemption arc. But at least I didn't betray you so wink

Zach Despite us never being on a tribe together, I was really looking forward to getting the chance to play with you!! I’m sorry that OG Elaenia did you that dirty. I love you and Cookie to the moon; the most iconic duo truly (:

Even tho im second boot yall still ugly

Ali Ahhhh Julia, I’m trying to speak very carefully, as I don’t want to unwittingly curse myself more than we were all already cursed by you! I am genuinely sorry you went so early, especially listening to you on tribe calls and such, you seemed like a wild, iconic personality that it was a shame for the season that you went so soon. I actually was quite intimidated by you and the stories you would tell on calls, but it made the early stages of the game a very fun experience

Dana We never played together, but I hope you enjoyed your time in this game!

Zach Julia… I can’t even begin to apologize for how sorry I am. I was really fake with you, and i’m sorry. You are a great person and absolutely so funny and adorable and I love you sooo much!! I hope nothing in this game was taken personally, and that we can continue being friends outside the game <3

Was so happy to be back for the short time that I was around. Needless to say, I finally wore a shirt and went premerge? Never again.

Ali UGHH. Time for my first soppy paragraph of the Rites of Passage. It's been a real pleasure to play with you twice. You always bring this energy of positive and light to games, that makes you such a fun personality and presence to be around. Our whole tribe just sat on call saying how lovely you were, after the tribal when you went home and for good reason. It's been my pleasure to get to know you, and I hope you’ll be sticking around in the community so we can actually talk outside of these games for once, because you seem like a lovely person.

Dana My friend from Kiribati! I’m sad we never got to play together.

Zach Definitely one of the most fun people on OG Vireao!! You’re honestly adorable and genuinely a sweet soul and I really did enjoy getting to know you and chat with you about swimming and everything!! :] Your vote was actually such a hard one, and I remember the Vireao tribe was just on call afterwards like… talking about how awful we felt and EVERYTHING and awh. Robbed legend, truly.

I had an amazing (short) time in this game. I’m so honored to have been chosen to play in the first place. I just wish I wouldn’t have been voted out by a lot of people who never bothered to talk to me in the first place hehe. I’M NOT BITTER ANYMORE THOUGH I really did love my experience and everyone I met in the game.

Ali Madison, since I doubt you ever got a true explanation, I just want something to be super clear. Like I said in my voting confessional, I really don’t want you to take the number of votes you received that night as a personal thing. For someone so new to the community, you have already built up a reputation for yourself, that I’m kind of simultaneously both jealous and terrified of? You have such a way in these games with words, and its one that makes you a very scary person indeed! As someone that’s also hosted you, it's really exciting to see you go on and play other games and evolve as a player, and I’m absolutely sure that when you return to Athena, you are going to have found the balance and will destroy everyone! Till then, its been my pleasure to get to know you and I’m looking forward to talking to you again soon!

Dana A true robbery. So sorry that one world did THAT.

Kevin I initially wanted to work with you because we were both infants in Elaenia and you seemed really fun but then after the first tribal I um honestly did not trust you! Love you!!

Zach MADISON!! Okay genuinely this was such a crappy vote, because for gamewise I felt like it was the strongest move that could’ve been executed with the given circumstance, but genuinely it was hard and that was the day I started talking to you so much because I entered Kalos and I was so excited and ARGH SDMGKLSD. You’re absolutely hilarious and quirky and I love you so much and I wish we got to spend more time together in this game because you’re a great person at heart and one of the funniest people I know.

Ali Ahhhhh Jack, we never really got to talk all that much which is a real shame! I’m really sorry you went so early this time, as one of the mega four time athena players. You seem like a really fun and genuine person, so I’m hoping especially post-season we can become friends!

Dana I’m so sorry about the way you went out, it felt really bad afterward, but I had a really great time getting to actually meet you during this game.

Kevin MY SON. I love you so much I'm sorry for being fake with you at times skdkd

Zach Aside from the one world phase, we never really got to talk. I think you’re an interesting character and I enjoyed those two days that we talked together, and I actually was sad to see the tribal where you got voted off :( I was wanting you to move forward because I felt like there was a significant chance of us working together, but unfortunately people are RUDE! Also this was karma for that one EM game :/ just kidding though jasfdkgf i’m sorry about the tragic tribal <3

There’s not much I can say about this game, it was the first time that I haven’t made jury, EVER! But it just shows that people came to play, I’m glad that I was able to be apart of it, bummed that I was out so fast. Jumanji will forever be the reason that I lost this game but still worth it cus it was a great movie :)

Ali “My F2, my ride or die. I was so crushed to see you go last tribal. We’ve had quite the bumpy newbie ride this season. You were the one I trusted most, that I talked all about strategy with, that I would joke with and I almost wish you were here at F4 instead of me. It’s been a distinct pleasure to play with you this season and I hope we can stay friends in this game and beyond.”

This was my Rites of Passage for you in Emathia, and I so truly stand by it. It's been my pleasure to play with you twice now. We begun the wild tumblr survivor ride together a year ago next month (which… its already been a year which is SO wild). Seeing you evolve from someone who had such consistently good gut instincts in Emathia to someone who is so aggressively strategic is really… nice to see? Like I love the conviction in yourself, you now have. I was really sad when I heard you were voted out, because you are such a fun person to play with and as my original friend in the ORG community, I was really sad for you. I’m looking forward to talking in the Reunion and continuing to being friends!

Dana Crackedt queen! We never got to play together, I hope you enjoyed playing!

Kevin Cracked queen!! Your boot tribal was such a mess god. I wish we had talked more and had an opportunity to work together :( Then again you also voted for me but we all make mistakes ;)

Zach I felt so awful with this vote. JD… you’re a great person. I absolutely adore you and I think you’re so funny and genuinely a pure soul. Unfortunately though, for my game, you weren’t a benefit. From multiple rumours and ideas of what happened MAINLY during the one world phase, it seemed as if your loyalties weren’t with me whatsoever, and so your vote was strategically great for my game. It still felt awful on a personal level, especially since you went on a date that night and had you not it could’ve been so different but overall i’m apologetic for your vote; I wish I handled it better and I hope we can be friends once the game is over. You’re a legend forever and always.

Always robbed, never a robber haha. Good luck Lorohna!

Ali Why hello to the winner of Crossroads aka Autumn! I was also really sad to see you go! You were such a fighter this season, being targeted from day one and it was my pleasure to get to know you in our very limited time in the game together! You have such a fun and bubbly energy that's infectious, and your enthusiasm for the game is something I really love. I am hoping we can be friends after the season because you seem like a really great person… and being associated with a winner of a main season will give me some major street cred ahskdjfhajldsf

Dana MY QUEEN!! I was so happy to meet someone who is literally living the same #postgradstruggle as me right now. It’s really rare that I find someone in games that I relate to so much and I’m so excited to keep being friends and hopefully meet up when you move to NYC! Also WOOO CONGRATS THE CROSSROADS WINNER WE DESERVE!!!!

Kevin CRACKED QUEEN PART TWO. God our relationship was kinda messy bc I tried voting you out at the first tribal, and then we made up, but after JD's boot it was p evident how much of a threat you were... As I said, messy!!!

Zach A queen. I think you’re such a fun person to just sit there and talk with, and I can see why everyone likes you!! For real though, you were one of the people I really wanted to work with going forward once the swap occurred, but just… it felt too difficult. You were such a good player that you forced a tie that should’ve been 4-3 had JD not had the one dinner date. You were so good at utilizing information you’ve received from people to orchestrate movement in whatever direction you so desired. So on a personal level, I felt really bad cause I thought you were such a cutie and all, but I knew on a game level that was probably the most beneficial vote since you proved yourself to be capable of so much. So, i’m sorry about your vote, girlie <3 gl in your future endeavours (and congrats on crossroads, love)!!

Coming into this game, I thought I knew exactly what I was signing up for. But you know, expectations vs reality don’t always play out the way you’d think. I happily flopped down on the grenade for the Loronha tribe because they were pure beans who deserved the best. It’s been a pleasure to play in the Athena series and I can’t wait to see who wins.

Ali A QUEEN.Honestly, when I saw you cast on this season, I was like…. Ooop well I guess Charlotte is winning and I almost didn’t have a problem with that? Like you are probably the most all stariest all star in this entire cast, such a fun personality, so social and nice and a great person to be around. I HATED seeing you get voted out, even though you volunteered, because you were so gracious and just…… so just the best. It was really a mess. I am SO HAPPY you made jury, just because I think you really deserve it. You are just an icon, and I’m kinda gushing because you didn’t really go out for game reasons, so I can only really talk on a personal level, and on a personal level I have so much time and respect for you.

Dana Love you queen! Honestly voting you out made me so sad, because I was looking forward to playing with you after hosting you and watching you slay. I’m sure our time will come, but thank you for giving me and the rest of our swap tribe the opportunity to do you proud in the merge phase of the game. Marshall would be proud tbh!

Kevin MY LEGITIMATE BIRTH MOTHER. I'm so upset that we only played one round together like when I saw you were on Viraeo I was dying to get swapped with you or something. Playing with you would've made the game much much more worth it ;)

Zach I think it’s criminal that we weren’t even on the same swap tribe! You were definitely one of my closest allies before the swap, and I was rooting for you so hard to reach merge because I think you’re such a fun person to work with from past experience, and I was hoping we could reinvent CB but… not let me get idolled out AJSKDG. However, given your scenario, i’m sorry you did leave (even though it was unanimous), it still is a robbery and i’m glad you got voted “prejuror that deserves to still be in the gamer” in touchy subjects :’) and also, by default, you made jury which i’m so happy for you about!! Ultimately, I hope everything ongoing is great, and that we can surely one day down the road play again!! Also we need to pm about HTGAWM soon!!!!!!

Ali Lily, I’m sorry that we… basically never spoke. Watching your dynamic with Emily, it's clear you are a great and loyal friend, so I’m hoping if you do plan on returning to the community and staying in the reunion that we can actually talk and become friends. You seem like someone who really values loyalty in a person,so while we couldn’t really build that up during the season, I’m hoping we can post-season? You seem like a really passionate and fun person, so I am very sorry how much the way you went home upset you.. I’m looking forward to hopefully playing some more games with you in the future, maybe if I stop being a baby not knowing what anything means some cards against humanity or something else fun like that..

Dana We hardly spoke during the game, but I hope you had a great time playing and come back soon.

Kevin My third Taveuni child!! One of my favorite parts of this game was CAH games with you. Like with Jack I was sad that we didn't make it farther together. Maybe someday!!

Zach I’m sorry overall about the tragic events that took place in this game. For those times that we talked, I enjoyed getting to know you and establishing a friendship with you. You gave off such vibes that you were a powerful force to be reckoned with, and I think because of that as well as other factors made you the initial merge target. Though I didn’t vote you, I am sorry and I truly think you’re adorable and I loved your pinocchio in the All Star music videos and AHHH!! I hope everything is great and that you don’t take anything super personally from this game because i’m sure it's a relative feeling amongst most that you’re great and that your vote was purely strategic, opposed to personal.

I just wanted to thank the hosts for bringing me back, it was an honor. And although i may hate you all right now its been so much fun getting to play with you all! I’m so happy to have made so many new friends! And I still get to keep the crown for most days played and the queen stays queen, adiós!

Ali Duncan :( it's time for personal o’clock. I have SO much love and respect for you Duncan. You have been someone that has always supported me since Emathia, joining VLs and watching me flop at Big Brother, and just…. being the nicest. You have just such a fun energy, and you are so amazing with supporting your friends and one of my biggest hopes is I can be as good of a friend to you, as you are to me. I remember when you did a video confessional with Amanda for Azores and you were just…. so 100% focused on being there for Amanda and being a friend, and you truly deserve the best, as you give the best to everyone else. I just think you are so sweet and great, and it's been my pleasure to be able to call you a friend. I’m a Dunstan forever.

Dana I was SO excited to finally get to meet you playing this game after seeing you around in the community. You are hysterically funny and such an honest player, which is something I admire and respect. Unfortunately, I knew I wasn’t your priority in this game, but I absolutely loved spilling tea and talking shit with you- definitely some of my favorite memories from this game! I hope there is more to come for us both inside and outside of games!

Kevin I can't believe we were robbed from working together ;( Your boot left me the most shook because like...what the fuck, you deserved better. But yeah, I really wish we had gotten to play the game together bc like? We've never actually gotten to work together??

Zach My… showmance… AJSGKD. Duncan you are genuinely one of the most purest souls i’ve met throughout this game. From our time on Vireao to then merge, I just… we connected quite a bit early on and maybe some of that was lost at merge, but it was still somewhat there?? It’s hard to explain really. I think you’re an adorable person though, and your vote was honestly so difficult. But with the lack of information being swapped between us, and how you apparently had advantages but we were a showmance… it just felt too difficult to form that trusting relationship, and due to your threat status, your vote occurred. I really hope you didn’t take anything personally because like… you were a threat, it was strategic. No one had ONE bad thing to say about you as a person or even gamewise. It was literally all love, love, love. But yeah, you’re so cute and loveable and I genuinely enjoyed taking the time to talk to you, and I wish things could’ve worked out differently and i’m sorry about anything that happened in this game. I hope to continue talking with you outside this game, love <3

This game was wild from start to finish for me, it was honestly the most fun I’ve had in a game so far considering I didn’t even think I deserved to come back as an All Star. I had a great time, wouldn’t really change anything I did except probably would’ve given fewer people my snapchat and facebook info…oh well!

Ali Right. This one is potentially going to be my longest RoP and I assume you aren’t going to read this, judging by how much you seemed to hate me after you were voted out. I’m not going to try and bactrack and say I regret my decision on a game level, because I don’t. You were winning this game…. Like 100%. You could do anything and everything and literally were. But, what I do regret is how much being voted out upset you. You are my friend outside of this game, and I cried like… real tears (I love emotional stability) when you said you didn’t want to talk to me again. Like, I would hate for a game to ruin our friendship. I would really really hate that. I also was sad in that as you know from when we have talked, I am SUCH a will warrior and have always been a supporter of you, as you know. I’d hate for you to take me voting you out as a personal attack, as that’s truly the last thing I want? I know it might not come across that way, but me voting you out was almost a compliment? I never would’ve so aggressively blindsided you if you weren't SUCH a big threat.I just really love you on a personal level and would hate for this to affect that?

I also have something else to say to you, that I’m not entirely sure if you are going to want to hear. I will be really disappointed on a personal level if you try and poison the jury against people? Like on a game-level, that's your prerogative as a juror to do what you want and like you are totally allowed to get the jury to vote or not vote anyone you want, and if its against me it's not like I’m going to hold it against you. With that said, as someone that was so disappointed in a jury being turned against you in Azores, I’d… be disappointed if you tried to recreate that as a form of revenge? Like if you want to try and tank people’s games in the minds of a jury, you are 100% more than welcome to as a juror, I’d just be sad on a personal level that you would want to do that after it upset you so much in Azores? With that said, if you wanna get nobody to vote me like you said, like I say you are more than welcome to and I wouldn’t hold it against you. I don’t know, this is probably not something to say in RoP, but since you said you never want to talk to me again, I want to just like…. put it out there, in case this is my only chance. Honestly (provided I get there), if it takes you dragging me to hell and back at FTC to be friends again, please do. I just want to be friends again. THIS WAS LONG and I apologise for making you read all this (even though I feel like you could very easily still be mad at me and just not read this)

Dana My closest ally and one of my best friends in this game! Watching you get voted out was one of the hardest nights of this game for me, and forced me to play a very different game than the one I had anticipated. I’m so sorry you had to die for me to rise, but you taught me how to be a better strategic and forward- thinking player and I’m incredibly grateful for that! Love you!

Kevin Whew what a round your boot was!! Your boot wasn't anything personal, it was just who we all could agree to vote for. Like with some others we never really worked closely together ://

Zach This vote is probably the definition of bitter-sweet. Will, let’s start with… i’m sorry about being such a freak and weirdo to you in pms that you probably thought I was unstable and a dork. I really should’ve been slightly… less that and more different but that’s just my quirky personality. I love you and I think you’re a great person at heart, and you were someone I genuinely connected with first at the one world phase, and then later during the merge portion, and I hope that was reciprocated. From those times that we talked about snow to pizza to literally… me sending the first few pokemon and pictures at 4AM to you… just… it was so fun and I really hope we still talk once this game is over because I literally adore you so much. I’ll explain the bitter sweet aspect. It was bitter because I literally didn’t want you out, and I felt so bad especially after that call that me/you/Dana had just minutes before. You wanted to play so badly and I admired u and wanted u to literally win like i was ready for you to run me over w ur car and then I thank you for it. The only sweet aspect about it is that you’re such a phenomenal player, and I predicted you to win this game just because of how charming you are. I wouldn’t have voted you out anytime soon but like… idk. You’re great. I’m sorry about that night because it was truly tragic and I hate that I had to play this game so many more days without getting the chance to be weird to you. Love uu, you’re a legend <3 <3

I had a fantastic time, this season was filled with All Stars and no one disappointed. It’s been a wild ride and it will be hard to see it end.

Ali My cracked Disney queen. We unfortunately didn’t connect as much in this game as we have in others, which was a shame because you are SO MUCH FUN TO GOSH DARN WORK WITH. Soooo much fun. I always admire your like… reputation in the community? You are just the queen of positivity, and everyone loves you for a *reason*. And that reason is because you are the best.I have played four games, with you for three of them, and it's truly been a pleasure every time.

Dana Though we didn’t talk much in this game, you are such a sweet girl and one of the genuinely nicest and most cheerful people I’ve gotten to know. I’m sad we were in such a difficult position that resulted in you getting voted out, but you were so understanding and happy despite everything.

Kevin Hunt You Down came on as I was writing this and I thought of your iconic intro vid... Anyways um...third time was the charm I guess. I initially did wanna work with you because you seemed super nice but the way the game shook out it didn't happen obviously.

Zach RUTHIE!!! I hate that you weren’t around much, but nonetheless I still adore you with my entire heart and I love love LOVE you. I felt like we worked good, hand in hand, and i’m sorry that you were voted out. You’re honestly the definition of genuine and a sweetheart, and I was just… so excited to play with you again and i’m glad we got to be on our OG tribes together, then again at the merge. I just remembered something really funny and I know it’s not going to be like professional but like I wanted to apologize again for that one time that I ignored you about the vote because I was getting… a lil turnt or something and MSDLKGMSD ugh that was so funny when you called me out in the tribe chat like FRICK. I really wish you could’ve stayed, and maybe your vote put me in a better position because it made me less targeted, I still love you and adore you and I would’ve loved had you been given the chance to continue fighting in this game. I hope ponderosa is treating you well girlie <3 you deserve the best.

my time in the game was an absolute roller coaster. sorry to use such an overused metaphor. anyways. i am so thankful to have met everyone in this game and to have even been considered an all star in the first place. looking back at my game, there’s a lot of things i would have changed. i made a lot of mistakes and i can’t really explain everything i did and i am quite surprised i made it as far as i did. i’m so thankful for the hosts for a great game and everyone for being so nice to me even when i was ANNOYING!

Ali TIME FOR A SOPPY PARAGRAPH, lets get hecked. Emily, as one of two people to like… bring you in the community, it's been such a pleasure to see you grow. You have this energy of self belief, that is honestly…. so great to see? While it meant you were terrifying to play with, I was so proud of you almost for being arguably the biggest threat in the entire cast.You were always a good player, even in Azores for your first game, but I think you have the self belief now in what you are doing that makes you such a force to be reckoned with? Like Duncan, it's my pleasure to call you a friend before the season and I’m looking forward to continuing to be friends, thankfully without needing to talk game! I don’t want to get gushy, but I’m just…. such an Emily fan? Like you just have this really just universal effect on people where everyone wants to be your friend? You are just super fun, and have this confidence that makes you just such a well rounded person? Enough mush, I just wanted to say how proud I am of you on a personal level, and that it was such fun to play together and reinforce our friendship!

Dana Ahh what do I even say! I spent so much of this game thinking about you, and talking about you, and wondering how I was possibly going to work with you when you are so nice, endearing, and friendly—exactly the opposite of who I am (rip). Honestly, I was a little intimidated by you, but despite us not working together and rarely talking about the game, my fear was always met with kindness on your end. You’re a great player, your mist is STRONG, and your strength at this game really challenged me to have to work harder and smarter in order to be sitting where I am, so thank you!

Kevin QUEEN!!! Queen of Survivor, queen of Panera, queen of small North Carolina towns. I was shook that I like...got to even work with you in this game if that makes sense? Does it??? Idk! You're an amazing beautiful iconic person and I'm so glad I got to work with you in this game and get to know you ajsjd

Zach Not miss Emily! Shoutout to Emily via insta @emilysledgee wooh! Okay now for the other stuff… where do I even begin. You were probably one of my closest allies as a whole throughout this game. I knew of you before the game started, and I just felt like you hated me because i’m paranoid and then instantly I felt like we connected. Then luckily, for me at least and i’m sorry this might not be good for you, we got to play on the same tribe the entire game and I genuinely was so happy because you were on of my favourite people to message and talk to and everything. We called quite a bit and I vented to you and you’d vent to me and ugh it was just… I really like you Emily. Like, game aside, you’re a phenomenal individual and, well, incorporating game, you’re such a great game player. I think the most fond memory I have with you (and this is going to be an upset MSDGKSD) was when my instagram was glitching - well, it still is - and you went off private because you wanted me to follow you and it let EVERY. SINGLE. REQUEST. Follow you and it didn’t even LET ME FOLLOW you ASKGDHFL. I had so many great times with you and… i’m sorry it was spoiled during your vote. You were just such a threat, playing so well, having the advantage that you didn’t tell me about :/ and… i felt like your vote was necessary moving forward in this game. I really hope you weren’t too upset or anything because it was all strategy and I absolutely love you to the moon and back and to the moon again and back again and… ugh. You’re great, emily, you really are, and I hope we can definitely talk once this is over because I enjoyed every minute I spent with you. And P.S., I won’t play a great soundtrack and bring you to exile with me,,, love u!!

Hello everyone and its the winner of All Stars 7th place Cameron! I’m writing this when I’m very sad so like.. that’s all I gotta say. This game was awesome and I’m proud of how all of us played! Good job everyone!

Ali I am what I am, and what I am is a Cam stan. I could go into gamey stuff and explain why I voted you out, but I think you know…. It's because you were literally winning. You had glown UP this season as a player, i remember when we called on the night of the one world and I was like…. whomst is this person and what have they done with Cameron, you just had such self confidence and sense of self worth, that I’m really hoping you translate into your real life, because you are always so down on yourself and really shouldn’t be because you are truly the best. And now that I’ve kind of loosely touched on game, it's time for a “why I love Cameron speech”. RoP is kind of a weird place to do this, but you are someone that sometimes doesn’t realise how much they are LOVED by so SO many people, so I’m hoping you can use this as a pick-me-up when you feel down.

Cameron, you are one of my favourite people ever and it's my genuine PLEASURE to call you one of my best (or beest) friends. What I value in you most is your…. Loyalty? You will fight to the death for your friends, and I really hope I am as a good of a friend to you as you are to me. Whether you are having a down day or not, you will swoop in and make sure everyone is okay, and I think that’s a really really great characteristic to have. Also, you are so funny, like I think there are few people in this game who can make me laugh as much as you do? You just have this infectious joyful energy that means people can’t help but love being around you (the non-problematic people anyway). You are one of my favourite people ever, and I just wish sometimes you knew just how great you really are.

Dana Cam the ham. My favorite upsetting (in training) bb. Going from having you host my first Athena game to getting to play our first game together, our relationship has come a long way and is one that is so important to me. I’m sorry I robbed you in this game, but I knew I had no chance of making it to this point in the game with you despite how much I enjoyed every minute of us working together, and I think you knew the same. I’m so glad we got so close and that you’ve been such an accepting friend, because let’s be honest, I’m cracked and A LOT, but you always listen when I’m being crazy, which I love. Watching you play such a strong game is something I am so proud of you for. Love you Ham-eron!!

Kevin We've been over this but... I wanted to work with you, because the brief moments when we did work together were great, but in this game there came a point where there was a lack of any trust. You're a super lovely person which made it hurt the most and I'm sorry if this sounds fake and like I'm just kissing ass skskd, I truly love you

Zach Cameron… I just don’t know where to start with any of these ROPs. Okay. I felt like premerge we didn’t have a connection obviously because… we never were together. The first time we were on the same tribe was literally merge (well, one world, but that was for 2 days), which is somewhat shocking. I did enjoy working with you, i’ll admit. After we all came together post-Will vote and started planning together, I was really happy because we’d call quite a bit and just… laugh and talk about anything and everything. Whether it was going to have Dana play that fake dog idol or just talking about game purely, it was so much fun and I don’t regret one second of it. The reason for your vote, at least to me, was that you were clearly in a similar mindset with me. Like, we knew our interests didn’t align. And keep in mind, that’s literally ignoring the fact that you played this game so hard and so good, helping spearhead multiple votes directly and just… you played phenomenally. So just with all this information combined, you were my biggest threat at the time and I think your vote was critical to determining how this game would result. Also, let me say that I was genuinely ready for you to swipe the merge idol out of your pocket and just be like “thought you seen the last of me? Surprise!!” like… i was on EDGE that entire night. In the end, I wish I could’ve been slightly more honest about me voting you but just with paranoia and how you weren’t honest with me, it felt necessary. You’re a great person at heart and everything, and I really hope we can continue talking post game because I love you and you know that, and you know I wouldn’t do anything based on personal feelings, but rather game related issues. I hope to see you soon, love <3 :]

This was such a wonderful and unique experience and it was amazing playing a cast filled with true all stars. I can really say that I’ve become a lot closer with a lot of you through this

Ali Hey Ashvika! You were one of the few people I didn’t actually really have any connection to pre-season, and it's been SO GREAT getting to know you. You are just such a nice and pleasant person to talk to, that I can see why you won last season! We were on the same tribe together for our entire game, and it's been really great to ride the all stars wave with you. I’m sorry you got voted out in such a like…. wild way, but an unprecedented exit like that is only fit for an icon like yourself. You have been such a joy to play with, whether things were going your way or not, you would take it in your stride and just keep going.

Dana Things just never seem to work out for us in games do they!? I love you so much despite our flop at working together, but I’m glad I got to know you better this time around! You put a lot of trust in me at a few points during this game and I’m really thankful that you trusted me enough to do that. I learned a lot about being dedicated from you in this game. You always give your 100% effort and are so passionate about playing, which was really refreshing!

Kevin you didn't deserve that!! i'm so upset you had to go, the instant tribal twist really robbed you :( we didn't get to work together/talk game until the merge and i feel like i got to trust you more and more, sad it happened like it did :(

Zach ASHVIKA! It’s ugly that we never really talked substantially until merge, but even on OG Vireao we connected slightly. I love you and I genuinely was so excited seeing you cast because I heard so much about you and I saw you in Unova and everything was so satisfying. We talked and I love that we had similar courses and we literally live close to each other and maybe we could meet up soon?? Wig?!!! But yeah. In the game i really enjoyed our mini conversations, and I hate that we only started talking a significant amount near the end of your journey :(... i feel bad that a lot of things went down during your trip, but in the end it probably was for the best because tbh that tribal was not only deadly, but… stressful as heck. Now for game. I think you played such a likeable game and that’s what was most threatening about you, like… I had so many conversations with people and when your name got brought up, it was the idea of “oh my gosh, she’s won her season unanimously” which just made you seem like a phenomenal player, and I definitely see that myself. I really wish there wasn’t a live tribal that night because had there not been, we would’ve gotten at LEAST two more days to talk and it would’ve been so fun because you were someone I talked to the most, especially during that phase of the game. Of course though, I love you greatly and I think you’re a peach, and I hope to continue our friendship once this game is over, and I really hope to get to play another game with you sometime soon :’) <3 love you queen.

I’m incredibly grateful I got the chance to come back and be a big snake again. I loved playing with so many new people and I genuinely hope we can all be friends woooo!

Ali Owen, I am SO blessed to know you. Like again, game aside because aside from when I got sad, I did send you an explanation for voting you out, but I just wanna… ramble about how great you are. This is my third game of only four that I’ve played, that I played with you and every time is just a genuine blast. You are just such a fun-loving person, and you are just such a great friend to me, especially in this game. I’ve tried to play differently this season and actually made moves, and I don’t think I could’ve done it without the emotional support that on a personal level you provided me with? Like it's kind of unfair to have lumbered a lot of that on you, but the reason I did is because I have such trust in you as a friend. I just think you are just… such a great person. I am also INCREDIBLY honoured that the first person to vote for me in any game ever was you, like in a weird way that’s just… really amazing, to have _the_ Owen vote for me. I just… I really think you are such an amazing person and like a real role model, both as a player (because oh my god you are always so scary to play with) and just as a person? Like I just think you are such a good person through and through, and I’m so glad to know you.

Dana My snake husband! I’ll forever feel guilty for robbing you of final tribal in this game, but just know that I wouldn’t have had to do it if I didn’t think you were one of the most intelligent and brilliant players I have gotten the opportunity to play with. I’m so glad we finally got redemption from our “alliance” in Festive and actually became good friends. Without you I am certain I wouldn’t be where I am in this game right now, so I am immensely appreciative of our relationship in this game. See u soon my new upsetting pal, sending u love from ur favorite arteest.

Kevin Legend :(( Like I said to you you probably could've beaten any of us from how well you played, you were just a smart, insightful, strategic player. I hated having to be part of the swing vote for it sjdjdj. ps: please tell your mother she's iconic and an all-star

Zach bye bye. This is going to be so hard to write and i’m already feeling anxious and sad again. The first time in this game we got to play together was during the swap phase of the game. I felt like we connected, and it was different than our time in Festive. It felt more genuine, it really did. We’d call sometimes too and just, I don’t know. I loved that alliance of you/me/emily that was made, and I just was so excited to play with you again, and hopefully together this time. You were someone I trusted a lot, and you never broke that, and I want to say thank you for that right now before I get into anything else. So, thank you. During merge, I still felt like we had a connection, but I think it was mostly during round two (of merge) when we started talking a lot. I’m struggling to pick out one single memory because I laughed too many times and too hard at so many of our conversations and I don’t even know where to go from here. Just the call about “mario” to making a group text chat and being upsetting to just about anything, or even that time when we called and i lied just for dana to tell you the truth 2 minutes later and then me apologize in the broken language i spoke in and just SMDGLKSD ugh there’s too much. There literally is too much to talk about. From the game standpoint, I think it’s obvious. You hands down played one of the best games this season, and you not only helped orchestrate many moves but you were just a social goddess to the point where I like… was on the verge of tears about having to vote you out. I didn’t even want to attend tribal because it was so awful and I just couldn’t speak without choking up and ugh. You’re a great person Owen and I really hope we can continue talking after this game and that we are able to play a game again because you made me such a wario/waluigi STAN and I never had one dull moment with you and argh. Dana and I would just talk about how amazing you were, and this is getting too long I need to STOP. I love you and I hope you know that I only did what I thought was best, and I really hope you’re willing to wear steel toed boots and kick my jaw because that’s what I deserve for committing the robbery that the four of us did. Love u lots O N, bye bye <3 :]

#notallfunandgames #rites of passage

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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Undisclosed Desires (chapter two) (Pearlet) - Blue Seydoux

AN: Hello, lovelies! Thank you for everyone who took the time to read my fic, it means a lot. This chapter is quite longer and happier but the next one will be quite angsty. Feedback is much appreciated! I hope you’ll enjoy it x

Violet woke up the next day and lied there inside her bed, smiling idiotically to herself until a voice interrupted her daydreams.

-Good morning, darling!

She turned to her side to face her husband and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

-Mmm, good morning, Max.

Max moved closer to Violet and started caressing her thigh. He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

-I missed you yesterday.

-Me too, baby. You know how it is this time of year at work, it’s been crazy. I’m gonna go brush my teeth and wash my face, okay?

Violet went to the bathroom and took extra time inside with her daily hygiene routine. When she came back to the master bedroom, her face fell seeing Max still lying there on the bed. She was hoping to avoid spending any time with him that morning, partly because she couldn’t face him with her guilty conscience, partly because she wasn’t especially in the mood to have sex with him if he wanted to, that soon after being with Matt.

-Come here, he whispered to her.

Max started kissing her softly again, lying on top of her. He soon began grinding his hips, rubbing his dick to her.

-Uum, baby? Joshua might be awake. Maybe it’ll be best if we check on him first?

-We’ll be quiet, said Max while biting her neck.

Violet sighed, closed her eyes, and imagined Matt being the one moving inside and outside of her.

Coming into the workplace, Violet entered Matt’s office to deliver to him a couple of papers to sign when someone wolf-whistling interrupted her. She turned around and found a young guy sitting lazily at the back of the room, grinning at her.

-Uum hi?

-Hey, there, beautiful.

-Can I help you with something?

At that moment, Matt entered the room, saw Violet and smiled tenderly at her.

-Good morning, Violet.

-Hey, Matt, she smiled back. I got you the papers for Mr. Charles to sign, they’re on your desk.

-Thank you, Matt said and continued staring at her and smiling.

-Well, thanks for ignoring me, guys, huffed the young guy indignantly.

Matt rolled his eyes and introduced him.

-Violet, this is Brian, my cousin. His parents sent him to spend this week here in the city so he’s staying with me. He’s going to college here in a few months..graphic design.

-And as you can see, Matt can’t waaaait to spend the week, seven days, day and night, with me.

-Yes, I caaaan’t wait.

Violet was amused by the weird interaction between the cousins and chose not to probe into it. She smiled at Brian and talked to him politely.

-Well, it’s nice meeting you, Brian. It’s a really nice area to live in. There are so many artists showing their work here, you’re going to love it.

Brian smirked at Violet and talked in an exaggerated voice while sighing.

-If only I had a beautiful woman that can take me out and show me around!

Before Matt could tell Brian to fuck off, Violet smirked back at Brian and said, I’ll put my husband to sleep at 9. Call me!

Violet winked at him and went back to her office while Matt was fuming at the interaction.

-I like her! exclaimed Brian.

The rest of the week continued down that path with Brian flirting with Violet and Violet giggling and playing along with everything he says while Matt rolled his eyes at them. He got frustrated with everything Brian did especially that, since his arrival, he did not have not one alone moment with Violet all week.

By the end of the week, Matt was missing Violet so much, he counted the minutes till Brian traveled back home.

-Dude, I totally jerked off to Violet’s picture of her in that swimsuit. Have you seen it? She looks so hot. She looks like Bettie Page!

-You’re sick, Matt was completed disgusted with his cousin. Man, you’re really sick. And how do you have a picture of her?

-I added her on facebook!

Brian got his phone out and started scrolling through Violet’s pictures and showing them to Matt.

-She’s sooo gorgeous, no wonder you’re mad I’m here.

-What do you mean? questioned Matt.

-Uuh, nothing! I’m going to go to her office now! I asked her to make me a list of people she knows that can help me find apartments I can rent. We’re going out during her lunch break too, she’s taking me to this French bistro, La Petite Mort..her treat since it’s my last day here!

And with that, Brian got out, closed the door, leaving Matt all alone and furious. Not only has he not talked properly to Violet for a whole damn week, nor had they had any intimate moment, but Brian is the one that gets to spend time with her and hang outside of the office while Matt is not allowed to. Great. Just great.

The second week rolled around and Matt could not be more thankful that he finally got rid of Brian.

Violet was in her office in front of the mirror, fixing herself up before going to see Matt, when her cellphone started ringing.

-Hey, Max. What is it, darling?

-Violet, I forgot to tell you at home that you should ask for a few days off of work for this week! We’re traveling for Naomi and Kim’s wedding..remember?

-But I don’t want to go, Max. They’re your friends, not mine! I barely know these people.

-Oh come on, darling. It’ll be fun! You rarely take days off work. We can have a honeymoon of our own there.

Violet had missed Matt for a whole week because of Brian and in no way was she planning on extending that period because of people she rarely saw a few times a year. The prospect of having Max in a far away place was so good to pass up too, she had to resort to another tactic.

-Baby, we can’t leave Joshua with anyone here for this many days, and I’m not making him travel with us when he’s still so young. He hasn’t had all of his vaccines yet! I can’t risk that.

-Violet, aren’t you being a little bit irrational here? Parents travel with their babies all of the time.

-Well, not my baby! The thought of him catching anything when we’re so far away from his doctor…I just can’t.

-Ughh fiiine, fine. Max laughed. I guess you’re really not that into Kim and Naomi, and there’s no changing your mind. I’ll go by myself then. It’ll be cool to catch up with people from my old school. Well, have a nice day, darling. See you at home.

-Bye, baby. See you.

Violet turned off her phone and breathed a sigh of relief. She rushed to Matt’s office to tell him the good news.

-Matt, Max called and he-whoaaa.

-What?! Don’t you dare start on me! It hurts!

Violet started giggling at the sight of Matt with a newly pierced nose.

-Are you having an early midlife crisis, Matthew James Lent?

-Please, just don’t tease me about it. I regretted it the second I got it made.

-Were you really that jealous of an 18 year old boy?!

-You didn’t see him as a “boy” when you started taking him out on dates!

-I was just being nice! He’s your cousin!

-It was so niiice of you to flirt with him all week. Thank you so much, Violet.

-Wake up, Matt! Brian’s gay! It is so obvious I don’t know how you haven’t noticed that. I’m sure all that flirting was to taunt you since all you do is stare at my ass all day! Or because he’s bored around here and just wanted to mess around. If you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extreme measures, you idiot.

Violet giggled at that, approached Matt and started inspecting his septum ring at different angles.

-You know what? It’s kinda hot…It’s really hot.

Violet licked Matt’s lips then French kissed him briefly.

-Keep it.

Violet backed away and sat on the chair across Matt’s desk while he sat too, too taken aback by Violet’s kiss. She had never kissed him during working hours, and it surprised him that she broke one of her own rules.

-Anyway, Max called me and he’s taking like 4 or 5 days off of work this week and traveling. His friends are getting married.

Matt grinned widely at that.

-Can I then stay with –?

-No.

Matt pouted his lips but knew it best not to argue with Violet right now but tested the waters with something else.

-I went to the office of DOG magazine for the advertisement pages there. And guess what? They asked me if I knew anyone who has a Shiba Inu dog. I told them that I do, so they want Honey aaand me to be in the photoshoot spread for the upcoming issue! They’re going to take pictures of us this week, on Thursday!

-Oooh Honeyyy is so cute! It’ll look adorable!

-Why don’t you come?

-Huh?

-Come see me with Honey! Bring Joshua too! Honey loves playing with kids!

-I don’t know, Matty. If someone sees us..why would I be spending time outside of work with my boss?

-We could make it out like we bumped into each other! You were taking Joshua out to the park, and I was with my dog doing the shoot, and these little two munchkins met and couldn’t be separated! Your husband is going to be out of the country too! Come on, pumpkin. Please say yes. It’s going to be innocent anyway..just a stroll down the park.

Violet started thinking about it, not looking at Matt.

-Pumpkin, a one year old boy isn’t going to rat me out, Matt giggled.

-One and a half, Violet said absentmindedly.

-Pleaaase?

Violet looked at Matt and nodded.

-I suppose a walk around the park wouldn’t cause any problems.

-Yes!! You don’t know how much I missed you, and I really want to meet your son.

Violet smiled.

-I’ve missed you a lot too. Alright, I’m going back to my office..I can’t wait for Thursday, baby.

The week rolled around uneventful until Wednesday when Max traveled. Thursday after work, Violet picked up Joshua from daycare and started walking down the streets to where the shoot was going to be while holding her son’s hand.

She arrived at the address Matt has told her about and as soon as they reached, Joshua yelled out, DOGGIIIIIEEEEEEEE, and started jumping up and down. Matt looked up and grinned widely at Violet, mouthing a Hi to her. Violet did not want to interrupt the shoot, so she stayed back watching Matt and Honey while trying to calm down her son. The photographers wanted to take a few pictures of Matt looking serious, but he couldn’t help smiling every few seconds, blushing every time he caught Violet’s eye. The shoot was soon over and Matt walked towards Violet and Joshua, pleased and excited that Violet agreed to this outing. As soon as he was near, Joshua let go of his mom’s hand and ran towards Matt, squealing, hugging Honey and petting him. Honey got too excited and started to jump but Matt caught Joshua in time before the dog got too close and knocked him over.

-Hey, there, little fella! I’m Matt! This is my friend Honey! Matt said while pointing at his dog. Do you wanna come with us to the park?

-Doggie, doggie, ahhh!

-That’s a yes, then, alright, Violet giggled and extended her arms for Matt so he can hand her her son.

Matt looked at their reflection on a car window; Violet was gorgeous as always, holding her son who was tugging at her hair with his little hands. Violet removed his hands, told him No firmly then kissed his tiny hands and smiled. Matt was close behind them. He looked at the portrait on the glass and smiled. They’d make a cute family, he thought.

Matt walked Honey to the park with Violet right next to him while she was holding Joshua’s hand who kept on pointing at Honey and babbling incoherently. There, they let Joshua pet Honey as much as he wanted then got icecream and sat on the grass. It was a beautiful day to be out and Violet felt so at ease being with the people she loved the most. Matt rented out a kite to entertain Joshua then bought bread for them to feed the ducks at the lake.

A couple of hours passed and Violet got ready to go home.

-Joshua, say bye to Uncle Matt and Honey!

-Nooooo!

-Baby, we have to go home. You have to shower and have dinner. Come on, say bye, you’ll see them again soon.

-Nooooooooooooooo!

Violet turned around to face Matt.

-Oh god, I hope he doesn’t throw a tantrum! He usually listens to me, but I guess he’s still very excited, we don’t have pets at home.

-Do you want me to come over?

Violet froze.

-I mean, we could put Honey out in the garden. He’ll eat while looking at him from the window or something. It’ll appease him that the dog is still with him, he’ll shower quickly.

-Mmm..you know what, yeah, fuck it. All of our neighbors are old too and stay inside their houses. Come on, let’s get it over with, then.

They took a cab to Violet’s house with all of them sitting in the seat behind with Matt gently putting his hand over Violet’s, making circular motions with his fingers to it occasionally, trying to soothe her. When they arrived, they placed Honey in the garden while Joshua ate a sandwich there, circling around himself..pleased that the dog is still with them. To get him distracted with another thing, Violet took them to the garage so they could paint a bit.

Inside, Violet motioned to Matt to come over and opened a closet to show him her paintings. He went through the canvases in awe and looked at her proudly.

-Vi, these are so beautiful. Really. What are these in the corner?

-Thank you. Oh, these are from my Klimt phase. I tried to paint like him when I first started cause I’m talentless like that. Violet laughed lightly. I’m not going to be bragging about these.

-I have to show you my own work! My stuff’s more comic-y though.

-I’d love that, Violet smiled.

She brought out buckets of paint, and they all sat down on the floor with a brush in their hand, each painting a part on a large white canvas. Then, Joshua got up and soaked each hand inside a bucket and yelled, WELLOOOWWW, ‘REEEEEENNNNNN. WELLOOOWWW, ‘REEEEEENNNNNN! The little boy went over Matt and placed each hand on Matt’s face, smudging the paint all over his face then tapping on his chest while babbling excitedly.

-OH MY GOD. I’m so sorry, Matt.

-It’s alright, Vi. The little guy’s just too happy today, it seems, Matt giggled.

Violet grabbed Joshua’s hands who proceeded to smudge the paint on his hands all over Violet too.

-Okay, that’s it. You’re taking a shower and going to bed. Come on, love.

Violet held Joshua closely, and they all went inside the house. Matt and Violet washed their hands and Violet bathed Joshua, tucking him inside his bed, staying with him until he fell asleep. Matt watched them from afar. Violet then lead Matt to the guest room where there was a bathroom inside and told him he could clean up there.

-I’m going to shower upstairs, Matt. I’ll be right back.

Matt raised an eyebrow, inquiring with a look if he could join her.

-No!

Violet took a quick shower then ran downstairs with only a towel wrapped around her and holding a couple of towels against her chest.

-Matt, can I come in? I totally forgot to give you any towels and I forgot to put any in the closet here. Matt?

Violet opened the door slowly and saw Matt, completely naked, completely wet, standing there, looking at her imploringly.

-I’ve missed you, pumpkin.

Before she could say anything, Matt wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately. He removed her towel, sat on the bed and Violet straddled him, continuing the kiss. Matt ran his fingers up and down her spine then settled on squeezing her ass. He cupped Violet’s face between his hands, sighed heavily, kissed her again, then made her lie down next to him. He started kissing her lips and neck while rubbing her clit, Violet moaned softly as she pumped his dick as well. Matt began fingering Violet while nibbling at her collarbone, licking her breasts while she quickened her strokes and increased the pressure on his length.

Violet turned to her side to get a condom from the nightstand next to the bed while Matt continued on touching her. She gave a wrapper to Matt who steadied Violet in this position, keeping her lying on one side while he rolled over the condom over his dick. He then grabbed one leg and lifted it up as he positioned himself behind her. He started rubbing his dick on her lips, not entering her just yet. After a few minutes, he teased her with the tip of it inside of her, before quickly removing it back, and resumed with just rubbing it again. Violet gasped, turned her head around, and bit his lower lip.

-Asshole.

-Oh, I didn’t know you were into anal, Vi. Do you want us to try? Matt smirked at her while kissing her neck.

-Oh god! Just shut up and —

Matt entered her suddenly, inserting all of his length inside of her. He kept it deep inside her a few seconds before circling his hips a bit then started thrusting at a quick pace while fondling her breasts.

-Oh god, Matt. Maaaattttt. Oooh god.

After a few minutes, Violet then decided to take control and pushed him aside. She then straddled Matt with her back facing him, pushed his dick inside her hole, turned around and smirked at him with half closed eyes. Violet started bouncing up and down on Matt’s dick which made her moan and give out a small cry. Matt was grunting, trying to hold back his load that was about to blow up, wanting for this to last as long as it can. He started fondling her thighs before giving them both a slap. Matt then started touching Violet’s clit again, rubbing it with his thumb. Violet alternated between bouncing on his dick, circling her hips around it, and wiggling her ass to push his dick deeper inside of her.

-Oh god, baby, you’re so hot. Oh god. Fuuuuuck. Viiiiii.

Matt then moved his hands to her sides and lied on the bed. He couldn’t take it anymore. He started thrusting upwards, while Violet kept on bouncing on him. They both started wailing until they both came. Violet collapsed on top of him then turned around so they could cuddle.

-I love you, Violet.

-I know.

Violet looked up at him and smiled. She kissed him softly and soon they fell asleep, Matt’s arms wrapped around Violet.

A couple of hours later, both of them woke up with Violet panicking at the scene. Matt took a few minutes to calm her down, reminding her that her husband is out of town and that her son is still asleep. She laughed weakly and nervously and looked up at him.

-I’m just not used to that. You, here. It’s a bit weird, Matt.

Matt held her hands and kissed them.

-Come on, let’s take a shower, you’ll calm down.

Matt and Violet showered together then headed to the kitchen after Violet wore a button down shirt and Matt wore his boxers. He sat down at the table and pointed at a few illustrations hanging around the kitchen.

-I remember those, he smiled.

-The Erte posters I got with you in Paris, she smiled back. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

-I’m going to make you pancakes, Matty. I don’t feel like cooking right now. Is that alright?

-Pancakes sounds great, sweetheart.

Violet then walked over to the jukebox she set in her kitchen.

-I’ve always wanted one of these, you know. It was hard taking ahold of one still functioning and in a suitable size for the kitchen.

She then chose The Stranglers’ Golden Brown, closed her eyes for a few seconds, then turned around to look at Matt.

-I love this song so much. It reminds me of our time in Paris. Remember?

Matt got up and they were both grinning idiotically at each other, it hurt. He took her hand and twirled her around. They both started swaying to the music while holding each other. Violet was nuzzled up against his chest. She looked up at him with bright eyes and said softly,

-You make me happy.

Matt’s heart skipped a beat at that. That was the closest thing Violet has said to an I Love You. His heart was fluttering and he held back his tears. Matt stroked Violet’s hair back and kissed her forehead. He then kissed her eyelids gently when she closed them, her cheeks, and completed all of that with a kiss on her lips.

Matt and Violet danced the night away and they couldn’t be happier.

#violet chachki #pearl liaison #max malanaphy #trixie mattel #pearlet #smut #fluff #blue seydoux #rpdr fanfiction #submission #undisclosed desires #m/f au #office au

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