#theres so much I can say about this and Im afraid to get too deep in it

[mywifealhaitham]

pre release boothill relationship headcanons!!!

a/n: I'm fiending off crumbs... I've wanted to read some x reader of him but theres none so I gotta write it myself. I hope the other 4 boothill fans enjoy

warnings: gn!reader, like 2 gendered pet names (pretty girl/boy), most of this is written with bias because we don't have alot to go off, obviously written prerelease, when we actually get content of him I'll definitely be rewriting

LEAKS AHEAD!!!

bc: Valentine_DD_ on twt

- Boothill is described as a righteous person if his bottom line doesn't get crossed, so he definitely treats you good. probably more on the protective side when it comes to you, he's probably not afraid to use his gun if someone is threatening you.

- and believe me he's intimidating. from his overall tough and "unruly" cowboy look to his mechanical body it leaves enemies just a little challenged. he lowers his voice too and probably has a more fierce look in his eyes too. after any threats have been delt with he probably turns to you and turns into the sweetest thing ever, a wide grin across his face and his hands on your cheeks peppering you with small kisses.

- Its said he's a bit sophisticated due to his experiences so I'd like to imagine sometimes he charms you with facts and details about other planets or just genuinely sharing some tips and tricks he's picked up from other cultures. he's also a person who can get along with others pretty well but he can easily give strangers an impression he's selfish and is a bad person.

- again this kinda feeds into he's basically you'd guard dog... but I mean who wouldn't want to be saved by a handsome and sweet cowboy. despite his unpredictable personality and looks he's a huge gentleman for sure. always opens doors and pulls out chairs for you, makes sure your behind him and okay if any danger approaches and practically listens to your every command (lowkey giving off my girl and I don't argue she tells me to shut up and I do)

- one part I'm so excited to see is what they mean by he's illiterate and using metaphors. it's probably just him using slang but it's still kinda cute. I feel like his cheesy and strange metaphors turn into pick up lines when talking to you. perhaps he'll pull a "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or something cheesier. Definitely a huge nickname guy, almost never uses your real name. I'm guessing he'd use stuff like doll, sugar, baby, pretty girl/boy and more teasing names. heavy on doll and sugar and just imagine him saying it in a deep southern accent... 😍 kicking my feet. also I imagine he loves making you giggle by not cursing (because he literally cant) and normally he'd get pissed if someone laughed at him like that if it's you he doesn't mind at all.

- that's pretty much it for like analyzing the leaks I saw but now the stuff up ahead is just bias yapping because I always project

- HE DEFINITELY IS A HAND KISSER. greets you by getting on one knee, holding his hat to his chest and kissing your hand. makes eye contact with you too and does that toothy smirk of his IM SWOONINGGG

- maybe he's a dancer! pulls you into his arms and places his hat on your head when a good song plays in taverns. even if your clueless on any type of dances then he'll pull you along to the beat whispering Instructions in your ear.

- gets so lovesick when drunk it drives everyone mad. any folks he's sitting with at a bar gets a whole speech on his wonderful beautiful darling who he owes his live and would happily die by their hand. and may God save you when you come pick him up because he'll be all over you. Immediately he wraps a arm around your waist as he slurrs his hello as he proceeds to tell you he loves you like 40 times. besides the mass amounts of kisses you'll receive once you both reach a private spot he let's some feelings that he might be too shy to share normally, holding your face as he calls you his pretty girl/boy and how he's so lucky to have you.

- honestly not the best for cuddling however unfortunately he needs to cuddle you to sleep so goodluck! his metal body isn't completely uncomfortable it's just cold alot. he tries to get around this by literally preheating himself with blankets before you go to bed.

very bad boothill brainrot atm... only a few more weeks until we get official content 😭 everyone hold hands we got this

here's the actual leaks if anyone is curious ^_^

[bonefall]

How do you feel about "character joins bloodclan" aus? Im curious about ur thoughts since youre really in tune with the themes of the series but personally i just hate them bc its ALWAYS aimed at 'unfortunate' characters and always ALWAYS ignores the fact that bloodclan is a horrible place in-canon and that they're just reflavoring the abuse and trauma the characters qent through to be more emo or goth themed.

Ravenpaw is ALWAYS a prime target for this and its like. Great. You took the character being abused by their mentor figure and is being harmed from the violent culture the clan has generated... and giving them an EMO mentor figure who will inevitably abuse them and harm them as a result of the violent culture the emo clan has generated. Sasha is another one I've noticed- you've put the woman who lost her kit and is struggling to survive with the others while being controlled and abused by someone who sees her as an outsider (aka alone and easy to isolate), and are gonna put her in a faction who specifically separates kin from one another to easily control them and who have canonically tried murdering those who stick with their family. What was gained here.

Like i know bloodclan is revamped in ur au (thank god for it) but in canon bloodclan is HORRIBLE. People ignore that in favor of putting their favs into bloodclan bc bloodclan is cool and killed tigerstar that one time bc of revenge. Ravenpaw becomes Scourge AUS are SO SO SO much worse bc of this too- sure you manage to point out how scourge and raven has roughly similar stories in their youth but you could also do something interesting and make an au where raven and scourge are FOILS and do a firestar/scourge thing, while pointing this comparison out!! Instead you just went "Ravenpaw emo now and is sad about beating up Firestar his friend" and basically kept everything the same.

Sorry im basically venting here but i just dont like how people forget that scourge in canon does NOT look out for the 'little guy', he's a murderer and abuser who wants to keep his subjects afraid and separated so that he alone has power over them. Bloodclan is not the cool strong goth group, its the group where two cats slaughter eachother over a piece of twoleg scraps, only for the survivor to die bc the food was poisonous to cats and no one knew bc theres no cohesive group that can pass that knowledge around. its a fucking horrible place to live. Im not saying that you cant do interesting "character in bloodclan" aus (a Rusty who lives in bloodclan who STILL wants to do good but is shaped by the horrid reality of bloodclan would be fun imo) but its so often used with already traumatized characters as a 'solution' or 'fix-it with some emotional issues involved' that i just foam at the mouth and howl like a rabid animal on principle at this point.

Hmm... I think for me, it doesn't tend to read that way for me when the fandom makes AUs for it. I'm coming at BloodClan from a point of really deep critique and frustration.

BloodClan's not a REAL place, and what that means is, every speck of how horrible it was is a choice the writers made to justify its treatment. It was something they actively decided, because, BloodClan was a tool to suddenly invalidate the previous 5 books of TPB so that the series could comfortably conclude there was no need to upset the status quo.

If you haven't read it before, I recommend this post I made on how Darkest Hour Is A Personal Disappointment, but anyway;

We spend a whole series on how Fireheart challenges a broken society, because he is different. Their xenophobia, how isolationism and glory get people killed, the way that Tigerstar's greatest asset is how respected he is... these are bad things. They're things that Fireheart fights for several books.

But then, in the LAST book, in the 11th inning, they introduce BloodClan. They're just evil. They have no nuance. The narrative bends over backwards to stress that this group of evil foreigners LOVES murder, hates friendship, and doesn't believe in our good god.

Suddenly, the Clan cats have to be EXTRA xenophobic and glorious to kill these filthy, murderous foreign hordes. Clan cat belief in their good god makes them stronger than the bloodthirsty barbarians. Firestar kills Scourge and we can feel happy and triumphant about it, when Tigerstar was killed a few chapters ago and given a tragic sendoff.

So, I encourage you to step back from an emotional response to how Filthy and Murderous this group was portrayed, and look at it as a writing choice.

When Tigerstar, known cat-racist and murderer of mixed-race people, is killed by Scourge in self-defense, he is grieved by Firestar and commended for his "good qualities". (and then they retconned in that it was actually secretly revenge all along, not just self defense, so this killing is extra evil)

When Scourge is killed, Firestar just thinks about how it's cool he's not going to heaven, and how all of the previously ferocious BloodClan warriors look so inferior to the forest Clans.

And so, with all that said,

I'm 100% in favor of how the fandom widely looks at this, says, "fuck that" and just makes them the Cool Goth Group. I'd argue pretty strongly that the least nuanced idea of that is still infinitely better than canon.

There was nothing there. It was literally just Xenophobia-Is-JustifiedClan. They literally hated love and friendship and banned families so that Clan cats would look good in comparison. Banned families. You don't get this level of stupid evil from anything else but an 80s cartoon.

Maybe I just don't see the AUs you tend to see (I curate my Tumblr experience very well and generally hang out in more adult-oriented spaces, I can imagine a place like Amino being mostly kids who tend to be immature. Edgelord Angstpiddle is just a normal part of growing up), but every project I see that gives me a glimpse of BloodClan Ravenpaws and Sashas come with such tweaks already assumed.

Like, these are examples I've seen,

They'll have Raven be involved with the formation of BloodClan

Scourge will actually be a character with some pity and mercy, like how he was in Rise of Scourge when his abusive siblings begged him for food, and he fed them before sending them away.

no ban on love and friendship. Lol. Lmao, even.

More of the social structure will be based around acquiring food for people in a 'harsh' environment, leading to that battle, instead of just Evil Foreign Greed (which canon!scourge only had after being almost killed by tigerstar, because he said "actually, in light of new information that you are a murderer, i need to reconsider our deal.")

BloodClan will be overhauled completely. I've seen this a few ways. Connecting them to SkyClan, or the Oakstar raids on Chelford, or even as a positive entity; a surprise ally. (VERY common with BloodClan Ravenpaw AUs I've seen).

Anyways... (Shrug), I dunno dude, it doesn't bother me that much.

[melis-writes]

i need your cognizance … im kind of new to the al pacino fandom and ive binged watched his filmography in over 3 days and i LOOOOVED EVERYTHINGGGG but mostly just staring at his gorgeous faaaace (im rolling my eyes and biting my fist as i type this)😮‍💨🥵😩 but im rlly having trouble finding my footing with the elephant in the room … and that is him having a baby at his present age and dating a woman 50+ yrs his junior… like im in too deep now, i just watched his nypd episode and that’s how far ive already went😭(not complaining👀) but im also at this stage where idk what or how to feel about him doing that. obviously ive acquired an above-average-more-than-wikipedia knowledge about him (i like him a normal amount, trust me) and i won’t willfully overlook the fact that he’s kind of a womanizer and one that is commitment-phobe, so i guess him having new girlfriends isn’t out of the blue but to date someone THAT young? like that could be ur daughter😭 in fact his eldest daughter is a few yrs older than his current gf

anyway what im rlly trying to say is, i need u to weigh in on this and pls tell me ur opinion. ive read ur impressive work and it encouraged and inspired me to read the godfather as a book, and not just settle on watching it. and with that in mind i thought u were the right person to provide insight on this. as u can see i love al so much, im actually thinking of making myself a bday cake with his picture on it, similar to a pic i reblogged a few days ago, but im soooo conflicted on this. like i truly am. i know it’s bad to have parasocial relationships w celebrities (especially younger versions of themselves OMG) (but im rlly not i just love him sm and admire him) but im at this phase where im afraid that finding out more of his humanly desires would disappoint me? and yes ppl might say i shld avoid putting celebrities on a pedestal bc they rlly dont give a fuck abt who u are😵‍💫 and i would definitely love to be one of those ppl that could simultaneously admire a person for their achievements and recognize their kind behavior but also acknowledge their wrongdoings … but if i do that isn’t it kind of telling on my end, of my behavior and shaky moral compass😫? or, now that im in too deep, maybe im just trying to maintain this idealized version of him in my head and this is simply a reality i refuse to accept😭? bc honestly when the news broke out a lot of ppl were divided, with most responses pandering to eerie and just odd reactions, but a small minority claims a different take, along the lines of ‘if two consenting adults wanna make a family then why not’ and this rlly bugs me bc ??? apart from it being an awfully lazy analysis there’s just SOO much to unpack about this situation. like theres just way too many layers and there’s nuances too. one of the replies actually said men at the age of 60 should already be neutered to prevent from procreating ever again and why i kinda agree to it ?? 😶 like im so conflicted … like i rlly am … this is eating me out and consuming me i honestly dont know what to do.

anyway IM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING AND FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS … im sorry for the overcomplication … pls take ur time in answering this im rlly sorry id rlly appreciate ur stance on this … I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH IT KEEPS ME SANE. especially with the gifs🥰🥰🥰🥰 bc of u i still get to fuel my indulgences. THANK YOU

Ah my dear, welcome to the Pacino fandom, first of all. 🤣❤️ We Pacino girlies welcome you with open arms here lmao I know exactly how that intense ass Pacino brainrot can hit and how hard too. 🥵

You're right first of all about the fact that there's a lot to unpack beyond the "it's two consenting adults in a relationship" piece but here's the thing, it's not meant for us to unpack. At the end of the day, all we can do is hear news, gossip and read articles about Al's relationship and this and that but we don't know how much of it is actually true and what's really going on, and we can't know. It really has nothing to do with any of us, and those two don't care what the public think either. It's Al and his gf's private life and judging on how shit broke out, they seem to have a lot more to worry about on their plate than anyone else's reactions.

Al is basically a womanizer from what I've read lmao. He always really has been and I know things obviously changed when he got older but an early article that came out saying Al and his gf are dating mentioned the age gap doesn't bother either of them and his gf has dated men around the same age and even older than Al. This is their personal and private life, after all. Men can have children at a very old age, this is just how science works lmao although it can be baffling at 80+, it's still a thing. From what the gossip online says, it looks like this was an unplanned thing and Al isn't doing so good. He doesn't seem to be jumping over the moon about everything from what I read either. I think this is hard for him, tbh.

And some people may think it's weird someone as old as Al is still having sex but given his track record, I'm not surprised at all lmao. To avoid disappointment from celebrity parasocial relationships and putting them on pedestals, you need to come to an understanding that you're also recognizing and putting up (in a way) their flaws on that pedestal too. Al is not a perfect human being, nobody is, but he isn't out here trying to be perfect or live up to anyone else's definitions either nor should he.

I love that you admire and love Al like the rest of us, but you also need to come to an understanding about the things he's done or said or whatnot that you don't agree with or necessarily like. He's just a human being at the end of the day, it's so complex. Don't think too hard on it, because everyone has their flaws and mistakes and as we recognize this, we can still love them for the great things they do. That's really the only thing you need to do.

I think the fandom as a whole looked way too far into this man's personal life. It does not effect us whatsoever and it's honestly none of our business. Al doesn't owe us anything and he's not trying to be a role model to us; we shouldn't be this held up about his personal life. I know it can be hard not to care, but sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.

I would also recommend reading the biography "A Life on The Wire" by Andrew Yule. It has a lot about Al's life from early days, to romance, to his personality and everything inbetween. It's seriously extremely detailed and gives you a whole new insight on just who that man is!

Feel however your heart wants to feel. You don't have to get held up in Al's personal life like others or form a strong opinion just because someone else has. Something like this doesn't need to stop you from admiring what a phenomenal actor Al is and how he's a fine ass man too. 😭

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[viola-canadensis]

Just finished base game of outer wilds. I enjoyed a lot i can see why so many people love it. I especially liked the music its very nice also the graphics are cute. Also the story is great but thats like the whole thing so idk if its important to mention

Spoilers below and also i havent played the dlc yet so nobody spoil

Cw death and thalassophobia

The fucking angler fish oh my god and i fucking love horror movies and sometimes i like horror games but im so afraid of the ocean and the things in it you cant do this to me and giants deep too i understand that the only things there are the jellyfish and theyre fucking precious and i love them but its still so scary fuck me

Anyway i also really like that you have to explore and find out the story yourself but also that the game is usually somewhat clear about where to go next and i never really felt too stuck cause i get way too overwhelmed when theres not enough structure

I also like how when you translate the nomai stuff you obviously learn major story stuff but you also learn about the relationships between all of them and it makes it much more impactful when you find their dead bodies everywhere

Theres a lot of very cool reveals in the story with and theres really intense moments and stuff but i think my favourite parts of the game were just messing around and flying directly into the sun and the time i flew really far out and realized that the music everyone plays lines up to make one song. I usually prefer to think about the things in my life that are important to me and i dont really care about crazy huge cosmic stuff that i cant comprehend and i really like that after going through a whole bunch of crazy shit the end of the game is spent listening to music with your friends. Also the music they play together makes me cry

Yee anyway good game hope i didnt say anything stupid

[rigginsstreet]

Maybe a hot take but I feel like Billy would have been blamed by the fandom for abandoning Max with Neil if he left Hawkins at the end of season 2 to try and save himself for once. He stayed and died for her and Eleven and he's still villainized. He can't win and it's so heartbreaking.

ok so i have complicated feelings about how billy feels about max lmao i know dacre has said billy was protective of her and loved her and fans have come up with their own thesis of how billy was protective of her in his own fucked up way. and i dont... entirely disagree. i just dont know if there was THAT much love to begin with? lmao i think maybe people are afraid to say billys feelings towards max arent that deep and loving. idk ive never had a tight sibling bond with my brother like we get along. now. because we never see each other but like.... hes not.... high up on my list..... ya know.... so. and im sure im not high up on his like he gets along with his other siblings far better than with me. i have no other siblings which is great. anyway i say all this to say, i dont know that billy stayed in hawkins for max. ive always seen it more as he stayed in hawkins because he had no other choice. the amount of times ive gotten into arguments with people who were like “well he couldve just left!” ... you are stupid. you are dumb. and i dont feel like i need to explain myself on that

of course i think at the end his love for max came out. life flashing before his eyes realizing all the mistakes he made, how he would redo things if given another chance, etc etc yeah. the thing with billy and max is there was no foundation for love. they never had a chance, not with neil in the picture, not meeting under those circumstances (if we’re meant to believe they didnt even meet until neil and susan were gonna get married ??? oh i would be MISERABLE)

but anyway. i think the fandom wouldve been like “thank god billys gone!” and then in the same breath villainize him for leaving max behind. but only if the duffers had bothered to keep neil around and actually show a storyline where without billy, his ire turned to max. which... given how season 4 went down.... i dont see happening. but if it had, then yeah, the fandom wouldve found reason to blame billy for that too. youre right theres literally nothing he can do to win because everyones mind is already made up that he’s the worst person in existence. he fucking DIED for everyone and that still isnt enough. once you get to that point theres just no arguing with people cuz theyre dying on that hill. the hill of fucking stupidity but thats the hill they want so

[bonesandthebees]

I got a little too excited when reading rose and

so it took me a while to work thru the chapter since I write my comments as I read and I decided not to repeat everything started in the thats important to learn about the characters bc that would be almost the whole chapter so i saved it for my analysis here, but I kept getting lost in a cycle of too many thoughts and not much reading about the characters and everything going on oops

time to gather the base info we have (im telling myself analysing this is practising for my literature classes so im technically doing stuff for school when in fact im procrastinating stuff for school, ill do it after this I promise I just need to get this out of my head)

wilbur:

- studying to be the next consil and phil is giving him some lesson, but it seems hes only now going to get fully introduced to all the inner workings

- the ferronnière: hes basically constantly aware of it, both physically (keeps checking he has it) and mentally (aware of his position and controlling his actions, the metaphor of ferronnière pressing on his head as the pressure being put on him) which isnt really healthy but theres not really another option

also he keeps making sure the ferronnière is visible whenever he needs to be respected and we saw a guard doubt him before they saw the ferronnière so its not just a feeling but the ferronnière actually gives him respect and wilbur himself doesnt really have any

- his relationship with phil is as can be expected, phil is not a bad dad, he needs to prepare wilbur to survive in court, but he might be a bit too focused on that + his duties as consil and that results in very strict and bit distant parenting

from his fear of phil not telling him about the announcement and the flinch when called his full name you can see that wilbur is very afraid of disappointing phil, bc in the past that probably meant something like shouting and he was probably called wilum at those times

but its not that phil doesnt care, hes making sure wilbur will be able to be a good consil and I believe it when he says hes taking care of their family (which is just sandduo, or maybe techno too?) and so far he looks satisfied with wilbur, proud even (me when phil is proud of wilbur in any universe bdhdhdjjfjen)

- hes really close friends with niki, since childhood, and there is deep trust between them, with wilbur letting niki even touch his ferronnière, something very personal and important, sharing fidgeting with their rings....

they plan to hopefully rule together (which is not at all unrealistic in their situation) but it wont be able to work the way it has so far, the way they imagine it, already with the strain of wils promise to phil and more will surely com, niki will learn about wilbur not telling her everything eventually and idk how shell take it

im not saying their friendship couldnt work im just afraid it wont survive bc theyll keep trying to hold it up to their childhood standards which isnt possible in this situation and I predict a falling out maybe becoming enemies even

- we dont see much of his relationship with quackity and the tension of niki vs q with wilbur on nikis side is ever present, but theyre still friends

when quackity arrived at the palace they were all still kids and while they did know about the competition going on but they probably had some classes together and I assume wilbur and niki were there only other kids in an adequate position to play with so theres nothing weird about the friendship

also I wouldnt be surprised if phil encouraged it, it was him who told wil to keep his chances open on all fronts

they also both have mutual respect

theres also this undertone to their conversation that is just so tntduo of them

1/2

wilbur's ferronnière plays a rather symbolic role in the story. it's important to wilbur because it's his status symbol. it's the thing that, in his mind, gives him power. that's why he's constantly aware of it. that's why he's constantly adjusting it. it's representative of his position as the son of the consil and everything that comes with it

phil definitely isn't a bad dad in this, but he's not a great one either. he and wilbur have such a complex relationship I'm so excited to really dig into it. phil deeply cares about wilbur and wants the best for him, but wilbur is terrified of disappointing his father. phil sometimes sets his expectations too high, and wilbur scrambles to try and reach goalposts set out too far. but phil is still proud of his son, and just wants to see him thrive.

niki and wilbur's friendship certainly goes through a lot in this story... I'll say that

oh yeah phil 100% encouraged wilbur's friendship with quackity. they have a very... unique relationship i'll say. they're also childhood friends like he and niki are, but they're not as close in some ways and, in a sense, they're closer in other ways. you'll see what i mean later lmao

[shinraapologist]

Hey there~

I was wondering if you had any HC's regarding what a shincelty wedding may look like? What kind of decorations, flowers or music they might choose or what the dresscode may be?

I DO!!!! i think they would have a very small wedding, but almost everybody they care about is there. i think a wedding for them would come a few years post canon after all the dust of the final arc has settled and everyone involved has at the very least started healing from some of what went down. (none of these characters are ever going to like.... actually fully heal. lmao to the very idea. ) i like to hc that shinra wants to cut contact with shingen but cant figure out how to unentwine himself from his father and also is just overall too afraid to actually do it, altho we do see him slowly stand up to him more thruout the canon, so id like to think that he continues to work on that. either way, his dad is at the wedding, because theres no way in hell he realistically could be kept out of it. part of shizuos best man duties are shingen wrangling. he does a terrible job. i do like to think shinra has a relationship with kazane, i think she would be happy to be welcomed into his weird world and is thrilled by how similar they are. id like to think they get pretty close. so she's there also. ive been thinking since i got this ask about whether i think shizuo and izaya could be in the same room with each other post canon and eventually i came to the conclusion that realistically... shizuos not the only person in attendance that would have some issues with izaya at that point, and frankly im not sure izaya would want to be in ikebukuro or near anyone at all. not for a long time at least. i do think shinra and izaya would stay in contact, though- i do think izaya knows about the wedding and initially made some kind of joke at shinra and celtys expense, but deep down hes not sure if hes happy for his friend, bitterly jealous, amused by the concept of something nonhuman getting married, or any other combination of feelings.

the fact that its small does NOT mean shinra didnt drop a fortune on it, though. this is a no expenses spared event. as for decorations i think they lean hard into the black and white. also.. if we want to say cannon started in 2002, this is probably, like. 2013. its tacky. its ugly. its so disgustingly shinra and celty. honestly, i think shinra would have more opinions than celty during wedding planning (which is not helping the tacky thing). theres one thing celty puts her foot down on- she doesnt want to wear a white dress, she wants to make a dress from her regular shadow clothes. shinra whines about that for a split second before he decides that means HE can wear white and then proceeds to get a lab coat/suit jacket monstrosity made which becomes his lifelong go-to formal wear. celty would make her dress something extremely dramatic, like this. after he sees her in her dress shinra feels like an idiot for ever thinking he wanted her to wear white because shes so beautiful and so her in it. they dont give their guests a strict dress code but everyone shows up in the nicest outfit they have.

for flowers, they go all white, but they dont choose typical wedding flowers. i think they would be drawn to things like this:

for music, i think they would play a mix of old love songs and cheesy 90s music they loved as teens. there would be SO much dancing. none of them dance well.

[karatecaulfield]

Hi, may I have a ship for Cobra Kai & Outerbanks. I go by she/her and am bi with no preference so any gender is fine.

Ive been told I typically wear what would be considered 90s type of style but leaning away from more feminine things tho I’m not opposed to dresses and all. 

I do get pretty anxious when thrown in certain situations rather that be talking to a group of people or just one person. But on occasion and definitely when I get to know someone I never stop talking. I am a ranter and rambler which means I could be ranting about something that happened and then start talking about something else that may or may not be related to the original subject. Basically I will always find something to talk about though I do enjoy listening to other people talk. I am considered the mom friend because I tend to be the most logical. Im also a very determined, stubborn person who usually is kinda pessimistic but still has a huge imagination. And despite all the anxiety I am usually a relatively confident person and am not afraid to take up for anyone I care about. Also I am pretty good in school despite having a kinda bad memory. Also an INTJ, Sagittarius, and Ravenclaw. 

I absolutely love writing and have for the longest time. I also love drawing and painting (mostly art related to animals and the occasional landscape) I’ve also been a big music fan since I was a kid, I honestly dont know what I would do without it. I also really enjoy reading, I could spend hours getting consumed by whatever I’m reading. Which also travels into me when I’m watching things. As in I spend a good bit of time just binge watching new or old shows. I also really like walking around and enjoying nature. Theres a few nature trails I love going on and would go to the zoo every weekend if I had the chance. Also I do like going to random places with my friends. 

And thats about all I can think of to say, hope it wasnt too much lol. But anyways, thanks in advance :)

Robby Keene! I think that he would be really drawn to your overall vibe. He kind of likes a challenge when it comes to getting an s/o so I think he would like you being shy and first, then more open when you get to know him. It makes him feel special. He needs someone who is a good listener and falls more on the logical side of things because when he’s upset he can be a little impulsive. It would mean a lot if someone was there to talk him down from his anger. He would love to show you Miyagi-Do karate and help you connect to nature, but also help you connect with him in a way. While he would always be happy hearing about your books and music tastes, there’s just something about the outdoors that makes him feel more bonded with a person.

Sarah Cameron! I think she would love your style, and you’d be sharing clothes a lot. She’s the kind of s/o that would be great at talking you out of anxiety attacks, reminding you that you don’t always have to be the strong one. The two of you would have some really amazing, deep conversations together, which is something that would simply stay between you guys. Sarah would really encourage your artistic side, wanting to see every step of something that you’re working on even if it’s a long time from being finished. Being in Outerbanks is kind of hard unless you are one with nature, in terms of the ocean and things like that. She loves feeling connected to the water, and with you.

A/N- thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy, please feel free to request again if it isn’t what you were hoping for <3

[evorathesylvurr]

🌂🧸🪀💭 in platonic selfship ask game

☁️💌🍄 from Miscellaneous Ask Game

mwahaha my trap card has been activated >:3

also saying elpis instead of i/me(etc) because haha i am. not doing that to myself on a monday night.

elpis is platonic w/ all the sinners other than Faust by nature of limbus lmao

[ 🌂 ] — do you share your stuff often (clothes , tools , food , etc.) ¿ do they grumble about it but begrudgingly agree or is it second nature to them at this point ¿

out of all of the sinners elpis would probably second nature snag clothes from rodya even though they would not fit them (theres like a solid 6 inches of height difference alone) but its honestly really cute to see elpis in the oversized uniform.

elpis will snag food from heathcliff, ishmael, and sinclair, but if they were to be like "hey >:(" [or in sinclair's case, "hey :'("], elpis would go "teehee i was joking :3" and return it. this is especially common at breakfast, and eating a bagel increases the odds of it being stolen.

it is also not uncommon to find elpis returning don's action figures from their room.

elpis steals shit from outis spitefully. they return it when confronted.

[ 🧸 ] — what's the best way to cheer them up ¿

each dynamic is so drastically different [esp. with sinners that we don't have much character development for *coughs* hong lu, meursault *coughs*] but.

for yi sang, elpis will chat about poetry shit. elpis is so into poetry, their whole thing is flower language and symbolism and i really do think yi sang would be into poetry :3 for don, elpis absolutely just hangs around her and lets her talk. theres a running bit w/ me and my roommate about how elpis will go from talking to faust & yi sang, turn around and ask don a question about fixers, and then return to the deep conversation. ryoshu is... elpis is afraid of her tbh (sorry). elpis cant stand the scent of cigarettes all that much, and elpis understands just a bit too much of ryoshu's acronym shit to comfortably hang around her. but if ryoshu was sad, elpis would give her little flowers (typically that are red or have red accents). the flowers are platonic. meursault... can he get sad??? i really dont know enough about him im sorry dude T_T hong lu also strikes me as the type who wouldn't get sad, or at least not let it show. elpis would probably enjoy braiding his hair though. elpis actually caught onto the fact heathcliff was mourning a someone post c6 because they wrote down flowers while going through, and all of them were for someone who was greiving, so... elpis lets heathcliff talk to them if he wants to, even if he’s vague and/or they don’t understand him. they'll give him space when he's sad since he seems like the type who would lash out when sad (and thats not self projecting at all ahahaaaaa...) elpis would 100% weave flowers into ishy's hair if she let them. elpis picks flowers with meaning though they might not explain if they felt it wouldnt help. rodya... rodya is sad. elpis can fucking tell, but rodya won't let elpis, or anyone, help. elpis would give rodya genuine reassurances but im not sure she'd believe them :( sinclair is so sad all the time. they'd be the one to approach him, and offer physical comfort (worlds most platonic cuddle) but if he's not really up for that, they'd just sit near them. theres a running joke of elpis not having a proper seat on the bus, and so they tend to sit on the floor somewhere, so if they felt sinclair needed some company, they'd sit on the floor near the threeseater. elpis cares so much about the manager its insane. like not on an outis bootlicker level but on a "this is a human person. they care about me. reciprocated (pointing at viewer emoji)." if dante were sad and were to actually let that show because god damn it manager you have feelings too, elpis would decorate their pda thingy with tiny flowers. they'd also try and avoid any form of infighting w/ any of the other sinners since that would just stress dante out more. also they’d make a flower crown that wraps around the face of the clock :3 outis... outis and elpis do not get along (as part of a greek mythology joke lmao). however elpis lets the mood of the entire bus effect them [thanks autism /hj] and so outis being genuinely sad would ACTUALLY effect them and they'd begrudgingly be kinder to her. it wouldn't really 'cheer her up' per-say, but it would be one less thing to bother her. bug dad!! elpis is content to give gregor space if thats truly what they think he needs, but they're just as likely to curl up next to him, whichever side he'd prefer them to be on, and simply be in the same space as him. id imagine a lot of his sorrow comes from self loathing re: the bug arm, so someone wanting to be in the same area as him would probably be very helpful.

[ 🪀 ] — how are y'all at parallel play ¿ what's a hobby of yours that both of you like to dabble into ¿

the majority of interactions w/ elpis will be parallel play, so when they truly engage in something w/ a sinner, it's actually really sweet.

despite how much they hate the woman, they do it frequently with outis, if you can count arguing as a hobby... /hj the two of them actually mesh well in combat weirdly enough. gameplay wise, burn and rupture don't make sense, but the glass shards?? thats rupture baby! so they build on each other in combat. i guess that wasnt really the question LMAO. i just think these two deserve to fight each other (elpis loses 100% of the time, they are NOT trained in combat) sorry for rambling about them here.

as for hobbies they share with sinners... afformentioned poetry with yi sang. they will listen to don talk about fixers and her action figures and stuff, which maybe isnt quite a shared hobby, but elpis likes dolls and so sometimes elpis will make little doll clothes that show that they were listening to don ramble. during c5 elpis probably tried to pick up some boating stuff from ishmael but there was A LOT going on in c5 so you cant really blame them for not remembering any of it up. elpis loves pachinko machines & pinball, and while they aren't great at actually managing to gamble, rodya tries to teach them how to get better at it. it does not work, they keep losing.

[ 💭 ] — alright enough wholesomeness , embarrass them NOW . tell a silly fact about them , or maybe even a funny story .

elpis does not trust heathcliff w/ glass vases after he FUCKING THREW IT AT SOMEONE. not even kintsugi would fix that one it was in tiny little pieces and ELPIS had to help clean it up since THEY were the one to bring it onto the bus in the first place. (he gets plastic vases now don't worry)

☁️- You’ve both been transported into a D&D style fantasy world! What are your classes?

Faust is an Artificer or a Warlock; making things vs Forbidden Knowledge. As much as I love a good wild magic sorcerer, Elpis would probably be a Cleric considering how much their whole thing is being a support unit.

💌- You and your f/o are tasked with performing a heist! Which heist roles are you taking? Can you pull it off?

Faust would be the mastermind. Like, really? Possibly the Coordinator.

Elpis would either be the Distraction or the Partner-In-Crime.

And, so long as Elpis doesn't screw up the plan in some unexpected way, they'll pull it off :3

🍄- You both have to get matching tattoos, what are you getting, and where?

GAH tattoos T_T scawy /hj

I am not really good at pain, neither is Elpis. but we have to get matching tattoos, see? some dude just handed us a slip of paper for some reason (what the heck is a prescript? faust where are we) <- joke

elpis would probably want to somehow combine their little icons. the brain in faust's icon already kinda resembles a rose, so perhaps some way of making it look more like a rose, while still retaining the fact it's a brain, and without making it look like lunacy lmao.

[ethernetmeep]

something ive realized amidst glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and the repetitive blinking of the colon on my digital clock (among countless internal thoughts about brain death & death as a whole, but for another discussion) is that… plushies are, in a way, my sense of understanding humanity and physical closeness without having to do it in overabundance; without having to make myself uncomfortable.

even if nice and incredibly sweet, it is more nauseating than i’d like to admit to ever be physically close to someone in regards of something like sharing the same bed or physically laying close with one another. being cuddled means you have to endure wandering hands, being cuddled means you have to let your physical state be vulnerable. this freaks me out incredibly, as it simply feels… wrong. i don’t feel as if i should be touched, not to imply im inferior to anyone else, but simply because it strikes a chord deep inside me that cannot be undone. maybe its a want for control— a desperate plea for it. that makes the most sense— i am far too used to touches and exchanges where i cannot control it, where i am pleaded and begged into close physical space. i am in a ridiculous outfit & have a man who lingers his touch too long as he tries to tie my tie correctly in a way which i had already done so, i am in a situation where a mans leg is too close to my body and i am unsure how to feel about it. i am incredibly disoriented, and not in a good way

and this too feels fitting when i consider other, semi-similar occasions. when i am the one in control of my bodily autonomy, when i am able to maneuver a string. when i am able to ask to hug someone & i am the one doing the hugging predominately, i feel less afraid— i know i won’t do anything crass, and i know i am in less danger or fear of something uncomfortable occurring. it still can, don’t get me wrong— just a lesser percentage.

when i am with something inanimate, something cold or without much bodily movement itself, i feel less afraid. i don’t believe i will be hurt in the ways human people can touch and skim others. i feel as if, for once, i am able to put my guard down and truly rest. saying it (typing it, more rather) seems absurdly similar to the above in regards to being the individual to incite the physical closeness with another human being, however it is quite different in regards to worry. it is physically improbable that my hugging of a frog plush or of a simple cloth item will impede someone else and disgust them, and if it does it is more so a disgust at my being or my possible childish demeanor by hugging something inanimate than it is the action itself im doing harming them personally. i don’t have to worry about if i am hugging someone too much or for too long or having to overthink if what i am doing is that of a silent endurance instead of a hug truly wanted, i don’t have to worry if im making someone else feel uncomfortable. the most that falling asleep with an inanimate object in your hands will do to another living breathing organism is make them question you, although that happens regardless of what i do. and, if someone is uncomfortable by my mere existence holding onto something which is not that of causing any harm to others, its no longer a rational thing to be worried about and is now a personal issue or as if they simply are uncomfortable by my existence. theres not much i can do about that— i am not going to try and please everyone, as the only way to do that would be to eradicate myself from the equation before it even started; to not have the dilemma in the first place

still, i would prefer a worried and overthinking existence than one of never considering what others may endure. i want to be considerate, i want to be caring. i want to be all these things because i know just how hard it is to keep up with, i want to be better. i must be better than those who have come before me; i will be kinder than my creator*

*this is my own personal stance on it; i would never uphold this belief onto anyone else. i wish for you to live the way which is most beneficial to you. if that includes being cold or being isolated from others as a means of self-preservation, it isn’t something i will judge nor scorn you for. i just wish for you to stay safe and do what makes you happiest, dear reader.

[nutzworth]

heres a little my thoughts on the dirkjake of the modern day

as is apparent the dirkjake scene is preoccupied with cannibal violence evil dirkjake. its evil dirkjake all the way down but this era is VIOLENT. its blood and guts and viscera. this was spawned by respected tumblr user borzoi who i also respect and admire a lot.

HOWEVER. on instagram my wonderful mutual was like I dont really like the cannibal dirkjake goings on. and i respect and admire my mutual a lot too is the thing. unnamed cus i dont want even a semblance of threat of discourse between users (even though i know both parties would NOT engage in such a thing).

ANYWAY: my thoughts? before i knew about cannibal dirkjake i was a big fan of dirk being the worst freak ever and jake being hesitant or careful. something about it speaks to me. it speaks to how overwhelming dirk is, how much jake is a people pleaser even if he personally doesnt want to do something. i dont think jake deep down would WANT to do violence to dirk the guy he loves. i think dirk would want jake to do violence to him though because it feeds his self loathing. and thats subconscious for him but i think in a corner of his mind he knows it, but it just fuels it more and its so addicting. this is to say; dirk wants jake to cannibalize him, and jake is like Um. haha. What? Um. You want that? Really? Wont it hurt?

and of course i could be wildly misreading jake as a character. but you know whos to say. the thing about jake is that he could go any which way postcanon because he built up all these pretenses and now theyre all crumbling (i read this somewhere... dont remember where. maybe tomatograter.) . ive read fics obviously where jake wants to kill hurt maim dirk and dirks cool with it (even playing a little hard to get. tsundere if you will) (SORRY.) but like... they all displayed jake as this villain or monster which he CAN be but ugh. ugh. REAL jake english? real postcanon jake english?

perhaps its that hes as i believed him at the beginning of postcanon. up through epilogues and hs2. i think it would take him millenia to get over himself. i think lord jake english or ultimate jake would totally kill murder maim. i dont think regular jake would. i think thats where i am right now

since im on a roll: i definitely think dirk would want to get eaten or killed by his lover cus of aforementioned reasons. i think he would feel so terribly bad about cannibalizing his partner or even killing them, especially if its jake. hes so CAREFUL around jake is the thing. hes afraid he will be too much again. but he cant keep being careful thats not who he is. i think dirk thinks killing his lover is a selfish move on his part and he doesnt want to be like, too much, so hes like The best way to do this. Is to do it on Jakes call. and so jake has to be the one to eat him.

though in a scenario where they are killing each other theyd be fighting mutually already... i dont know. i guess i have a hard time picturing them fighting in general it doesnt interest me much. im a sucker for passive aggressiveness and unspoken signs and miscommunication and SILENCE. its what im accustomed to. and assuming the two of them live in perhaps the same place, theres just this unspoken weird gap between them neither can cross, its hard to believe either can kill or cannibalize the other. UNLESS dirk confronts jake like I want this. Kill me please jake. You have to decapitate me. in which case it will be awkward and weird and i spoke about this.

what the hell am i on about? thats my thoughts on the cannibalistic dirkjake sitch. I know theyre crazy i just... i dont know... its my thoughts... i have a lot of thoughts about dirkjake ok.

[neckofjewels]

my knuckles are bruised with the mirror,

i shadowbox my visions of peace in a bathroom before leaving,

a tree collapses silently in a forest of nobody,

i speak of these words which i have no definitions,

like a man, or god, or myself, or love

i mean truly, what is love?

is it cannibalism you feel when you realize blood is a turn on?

that you think nothing is hotter than a knife pressed to your throat?

or is that too uncomfortable to speak outloud?

how many truths can i say until its decided i talk too much,

i think art is meant to comfort those that cant find it in reality,

thats why people wish for others to share these secrets with.

i remember smoking weed on the rooftop of walkersville,

and my late friend told me that she hated being on her period.

i felt gross, like my body felt weird from that.

or that time i was thirteen and my friend told me he kissed a boy,

i felt a knot tie in my stomach and tangle my tongue.

but i grew now, and look back at those moments and wonder why?

because i was never conditioned to hate people,

but i felt uncomfortable when people got too honest.

like that is even a thing you can be.

i realized how stupid it was for me to react that way,

i look up to the courage people have when being so everlovingly pure,

so willing to share every moment of their life to leave an impact.

i think we are so self-centered when it comes to pain and lust,

that we become forming these generational hatreds to others.

i remember a few years ago i was confused about my gender,

i still am, but back then it was like, ive seen nothing but bad men

and i sort of hated being associated with that,

of course it ran much deeper than that, i felt better seeing myself

how i was, but my guy friends were so bad.

there was this boy that was gay, and they made fun of him

it was too the point where he disactivated his account

because the comments were just flooded with these words,

these words we are taught not to say because they hurt,

but when you read them as letters you dont understand the pain.

so you sort of just grow immature.

i always just nervously laughed, knowing i felt similar to him.

and thats who i want to disconnect with now.

i dont wanna bystand the badness of life and humanity,

i want to use my words to reach out and help.

and ive built this guilty conscience from days i stayed quiet.

thats why i now question how deep you are allowed to get in poems.

am i allowed to say im scared of sex because ive never been -

that close to someone before and i hate my body.

or is that not manly enough to offer a problem for.

theres so much i am afraid to bring up or say in front of crowds

because how will i be seen if seeing me involves vomit.

[javic-piotr-thane]

oh that is very interesting with the books swaying you into gwen negativity and their mischaracterisation! i have read - many years ago! - border princes, i think, but i have absolutely no recollection of any plot. unfortunately reading fiction is beyond my energy capabilities (which is partly why im so grateful for big finish! i can listen to the plays) so it will be a while before i can get to them (if ever) but i definitely don’t feel like i am missing out on too much now haha. im aware theres some disconnect between being able to read fic but not fiction but it’s complicated lol.

i think your decision to make fandom a better place for yourself by enjoying the positives of gwen’s character more than any negatives to be a really good way to go. i am a big supporter of trying to make fandom into a positive place for yourself & not something that causes you frustration and upset - which is perhaps partly why i tend to only linger on the outskirts.

this isn’t a slight at all and im not saying this is what you do (because i dont think it is), and please don’t take any offense, but for me i do find i enjoy seeing and recognising flawed characters and while not focusing completely on the negatives, still sometimes leaning in to them if they contrast with how i think it should have gone. (okay i read that back and im not sure i made sense. basically: i like embracing the negatives where often others try to ignore them if they contradict w their hc) and it’s not just gwen here either, sometimes tosh, & often owen. also jack & lesser so ianto but that’s mostly bc i have a soft spot for him haha. i think for me being able to be like ‘ok i like this character and its sometimes because they do some stuff that makes me frustrated/annoyed’ gives me more enjoyment than trying to either explain away or rationalise (or perhaps ignore) the negative issues i have.

i think i did it a lot in the glee fandom, where i was able to see good in ‘bad’ characters and also bad in the ones who were portrayed as goodness incarnate (ok im exaggerating haha but the thought is there) & it opened up a lot more of the fandom to me? which, as someone who adores fanworks is absolutely wonderful.

!!!!! i'm not offended, i see how my words could be misunderstood! of course i embrace characters' flaws, what i meant here specifically was sinking into a certain bitterness that goes far beyond what Gwen's flaws are or aren't; making her not so much a terrible person as a terrible symptom of a flawed society that scoffs at nerds and insecure people and adores everyone with confidence, no matter how much they fuck up or now rude or otherwise not-great they are.

that type of shit.

i was afraid to slip back into that kind of rhetoric, that kind of thinking. that's what i meant to stop in its tracks! i've not taken down my old discussion posts on the topic, but i am so not doing that ever again.

.. *deep breath*

as for another thing you mentioned, minor but - Border Princes my beloved!!!!! that's my second-favorite of all the TW novels, and that's a really close choice!! i love it so much, it's sad that you read that of all books and forgot :'D but ah well.

[oh and the irony of you saying you don't have the strength to read fiction but love the audios doesn't escape me, as i fucking love reading (fiction or nonfiction) and i really need strength/focus for audio :''D you're the lucky one in this scenario though bc just in case i hadn't said this clearly enough before: the TW audios are by and large superior to the novels XD so there's that on that]

[....though waiiit.... weren't the first three books made into audiobooks?? i never cared about that but... i'm not saying look that up but maybe look that up 👀👀]

[conanssummerchild]

finallly analising this jdskdjsksj

okay so to start off, the song summer child is pretty much about a person who is hurting, who's struggling but people dont notice, just to summarise it very very quickly. there is so much more to the song tho, and i'll get into that now.

and disclaimer in case i make someone mad, im not saying that mike fits every word of the song, this isnt even rlly an analisis, more of like a silly thing i decided to make so no one come for me 😭 i am interested in hearing ur opinions tho

so anyway, conan starts the song with the lyrics

so with that first line hes saying smth like you see beauty even when there is none, or even when no one else does and in s1 yk how mike is tho only one who wants el to stick around, yeah. also when theyre getting bullied by troy and he says to dustin that he thinks its cool, like he has a superpower like the x men or smth (cant quite remember it)

anyway i dont have much to say abt line two but with all the shit they went thru with the upside down, its hard to imagine he wouldnt be at least a little afraid of the dark at night (also when i was little i was rlly scared of the dark and i kin mike so what i say goes /j)

(TW SELF HARM) i rlly cant say much abt the next line without turning this into projection central, but what i take from this line is conan talking abt self harm, i rlly dont know if this could b interpreted any other way tho? anyway its not that i think mike hurts himself, and there is no evidence in the show claiming he does (at least none that i know of, if there is tell me so i can project harder) but one time back when i got sent to therapy (and refused to talk to my therapist abt anything but mike wheeler) she tried to get deep w me and told me that a lot of people self harmed because they bottled up their feelings so much that in the end that was the only release they could get or theyd like explode, smth abt ppl who felt too much too big. ngl i dont rlly remember but honestly thats so mike wheeler if u ask me (what my therapist said)

ok so this is what i meant when i said not everything fit exactly, bcs while i dont think ted is a good father, i also dont think hes 'mean' in the way i think conan means it

green = byler. mindblowing ik /s

anyway the last two lines i feel like are less abt someone specifically running through sprinklers on their street and more about how when u were younger things were more simple and imo an important part of mikes arc is how he tries to make himself grow up faster, only to later mourn the better days that he lost and it was his fault, and if u ask me this part of his arc has to do with neurodivergency and maski- [GUNSHOTS]

ok and so we get to the part that made me start to think mike was summer child coded, mikes whole little pretense game he has going on, hiding parts of himself he feels arent good enough for people to see, how people have ignored and dismissed his feelings so many times to the point that he just gives up on trying to talk about them, how he struggles with his depression (yes i am a therapist i can officially diagnose him /j) but still puts so much time and effort into helping other people, he's selfless to a fault, to the point that hes hurting himself more than anything else.

how theres always a part of him in the dark, never quite revealed to the audience, portraying how he never fully reveals it to his friends.

so once again i'll mention how ppl have always dismissed and ignored mikes concerns and struggles to the point where he starts to just keep it to himself, and acts angry or grumpy when rlly there is so much more brewing under the surface he just doesnt think he deserves for someone to care, or even just directly thinks they dont care anyway

and ive tried to stay mostly partial so far and not bring up will or mikes sexuality, but in the end i think him being gay is an important part of his arc and definitely present in his struggles and the second to last line makes me think of will being shown to be like mikes sun (his heart ;)) and how hes keeping up a pretense about the way he really feels both about will and el to everyone but himself (no i dont think hes clueless ._.)

so this is actually the part that made me make the original post bcs hello?? the first three lines, did conan just literally write this song about mike wheeler?? mikes self sacrificial nature is something that comes up repeatedly, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. that boy would do anything for his friends, and im not even gonna get into the cliff scene bcs we'd be here all night. but like i was saying, the rest of the lines reference how mike sees the beauty in things others dont, EXCEPT when it comes to himself.

yeah, when it comes to himself he won't see the best parts of himself, only the bad, its up to a bystander (will?? the audience? mikes self concious, or is that too far-fetched?) to quietly observe the way hes falling apart

anyway slay that was bad and long and also excuse any spelling mistakes and incoherency its like 1 in the morning where i live so im analising mike wheeler, as any sane person would. once again, this isnt a proper analisis just something i pulled out of my ass so idk

@apocalyptic-byler no pressure to read this nonsense but u said youd b interested and i said id tag u so here it is lol

Mike Wheeler is so very summer child coded. There, I said it.

[sereniv]

I unfortunately don’t have access to family members. My family members are very…grimy people to say the least. They’re just someone I can’t contact so I’m mainly doing everything on my own. My family isn’t one to care amount culture they’ve unfortunately fallen very deep into religion. Not saying that there is anything wrong with religion however Christianity has done horrible things to ethnic communities no offense if you happen to be Christian. I’m still shy and full anxiety so calling tribal communities is hard for me but I have tried to reach via social media I haven’t gotten back from them since I tried but I’ll try again soon and even if I can’t directly reconnect( if I choose to do so) with the nation maybe I’ll find someone else from the community who I can try to listen and learn from.

oh same tho. a lot of my dads side is christian/catholic and are trump supporters (my dad is unfortunately very very right leaning it seems). Same with my italian relatives, one of which was so upset about someone defacing a columbus statue 🙄 Pretty much everyone is unapproachable

It feels so closed off it sucks. So i feel you

And yeah im shy and full of anxiety when it comes to calling too. I always feel like "well if it mattered enough id do it" (which ofc i only apply to me which shows how dumb the idea is)

Not to say our anxiety is good, but nice to know im not alone in that. Online is easier for me but my brain is always running on empty so im afraid to start digging or talking and starting conversations bc its like, what if i have no spoons anymore and just ghost the person 😩

But yeah! I think youre on the right path, and it can be so hard with anxiety to a point where it seems like it leads nowhere

But again theres time. I definitely know for me it feels like theres no time, bc the feeling of having had it taken away from me. But it gets easier

If you take days or weeks or even months not doing anything towards this it doesnt mean that it isnt important to you. It just means that mentally its probably overwhelming, and sometimes you also can hit a wall and HAVE to wait it out.

Like ive been waiting a while and i just got someone who messaged me where now it feels like im getting somewhere. And all i had to do was live life and wait for that to come my way (well and it helped that i joined some groups on fb)

Definitely go on fb or reddit or any other social platform and join groups/forums and lurk. (Id say try discord too but if youre anything like me that is a no go bc anxiety) Which is what i do. I go on fb, add all the Yaqui groups and basically thats how i got someone messaging me.

I really have my fingers crossed for you! Hope the people get back to you too 💓