#theres no way to really send someone with this great of a career off
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st4rry4pples · 3 months ago
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so long, dragon <3
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practicalmagicintuitions · 3 years ago
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Hi sorry for the messy long rant, but i have some things to get off my chest that probably makes no sense sorry
First off i am SO conflicted about all of this bc one way I think everyone has their right to express their opinions and connect that to their personal experiences, but i think we should also remember that we have no idea how HC and NV met, i barely know anything about her, and while yes it does look like she gave up everything in the US and that she doesnt post anything on her instagram of her going to tourist places so it seems like she is really isolated and cooped up in that rental, but again we dont really know that 100%…? We have literally no idea how theyre doing rn and what theyre doing. Everything we talk about her is just the same old assumptions and theories that we��ll never know the truth off.
I dont excuse her problematic actions, her apology was awful and maybe she was in utter panic that the first thing she did was just send those messages because shes ignorant on these social issues. But on the other side shes also gotten A LOT of abuse and bullied by people online, making fake shit thats practically career ending. Henry tried protecting and standing up for her with the FO post, but he could have worded some of that better. But like im in the minority of that. Practically everyone thinks the FO post was good.
The hate has taken a big toll on Henry and im surprised people havent noticed this. Hes totally disconnected himself from his fans and seems pretty much everyone and i dont even blame him. I hope he talks to someone about this, but i doubt he doesnt.
Hes gotten these types of rumors about him for years, but theres never really any backup to prove these rumors. I dont rly know what to say on this matter, but its just oof that Henry is either known for being a creep, a bad actor or hyped to infinity of how great of a geeky sexy guy he is. Theres no inbetween
Im glad this acc is a safe place for people to share their opinions, but sometimes i think people get too biased and read too much into these messed up rumors that they cant differenciate between whats actually true and just fake speculation to stir drama all because he dated a 19 year old in 2015 as if that isnt a common thing with rich men…i dont like it and i still hate that he would go down that ruite but it is what it is :/
I cannot really argue with your first paragraph. We know nothing specific or very less. People basically should stop taking about him and them if we olny can discuss the proven facts.
The made up stuff especially the porn was awful but his FO was before that. He tried to protect themselves after the S16 backlash and the awful photoshop theories. (somehow those were simpler times because those were so obviously made up “discoveries”) After her blackface photo we got the FL pictures and her pictures from the tental but he went completely silent. Maybe except the Meat picture in his story.
I think people noticed this, they just don’t feel pity for him. I mean the hate is never acceptable but I cannot say voicing some sort of disappointment especially if it’s not on their SM is something people should stop. This situation is partly his fault. I am sorry if he is getting hate, no one should, but even before NV his started to change. His presence on IG. ( and maybe NV has been in the picture already we just didn’t know.) So it’s not 100% because of the bad reception of their relationship.
I cannot really add anything more, you put everything together so well and I cannot actually argue with anything you said. Thanks for this ask and sorry for it took me so long to answer.
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reyeslonestar · 4 years ago
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Question what are some things you wanna see in season 3 of lone star? Character development, plots, anything
I want to see Tonya Kong write every episode. that's all. thanks for asking!
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sadfkja I joke, I do have other ideas, but that is definitely high on my wish list! i'm gonna go through by character and talk about what I'd like to see for them, so this is gonna get quite long whoops...
the main thing that I'd like to see overall, though, would be evidence of an overarching season plan or arc - it doesnt necessarily have to be a plot that stretches through all the episodes or anything major, but I'd love them to have plotted out the season before they start. from watching this season and then reading interviews after the finale, they dont appear to plan many things from the start and end up throwing in ideas as they go along. if they plan it from the start they can foresee how theyre going to affect character development more, and they can have a bit more balance in the types of episodes they have, so that the season is less insane and more naturally ebb-and-flow with a few light episodes to break up the drama.
okay, onto the characters! just going to do this in billing order for simplicity's sake. customary reminder that these are just my own opinions and thoughts, and this is more of a wish list than a realistic expectation.
if you want to search for a specific character, ctrl F for one of these terms including the dash at the start:
-Owen
-Tommy
-TK
-Grace
-Judd
-Marjan
-Paul
-Carlos
-Mateo
-Nancy
press “j” to skip the whole post.
-Owen
okay so I'd love to see them actually develop his character. Owen has been given a lot of backstory with lots to play with development-wise, but to me it feels like the show never goes anywhere with it. he's got a lot going on what with 9/11, feeling responsible for the fates of his fellow firefighters, the codependence of his relationships etc. I'd like to see him go to therapy and see him grow some self awareness and seek to manage himself better, rather than all his screentime devoted to him being a hero when other characters have the situation handled. it would really show him as a good leader if he drew on the skills that his team has and refer to them for advice/ideas. realistically he is the main character, so I'd like them to develop him like one.
also, I kind of love the chief role for him? I think it would suit him really well. but it would drag him away from the 126 and split up the dynamics too much so it would make for bad tv and I wouldnt actually want to see that. good for his character though.
-Tommy
I love Tommy :) just wanted to say that.
so obviously Tommy's got a lot of grief to handle next season, and I don't want them to shy away from that. I want it acknowledged and processed. (I'd also like a little bit of seeing the twins' grief too, because they're also suffering a massive loss). maybe something with Judd helping Tommy learn to manage her grief with his own experience of losing the original 126, encourage her to go to therapy, plus Tommy, Grace and Judd all feeling the loss of Charles together. after all, Grace and Judd were his friends and they will be grieving too.
I'd also kind of like to see Tommy have something outside being a working mother. obviously we're going to need to deal with that a lot especially now that Charles is gone, but I feel like she's been assigned the Character TraitTM of being the working mum and I'd like to see them give her a hobby or something. idk. and give her a night off with Grace or something. give her something just for her.
-TK
okay so I think theres a fair likelihood that theyre going to return to looking at TK's addiction next season which im not averse to. I think him struggling with his sobriety would be worthwhile to see for his character and to show that its not a straightforward path, plus it makes sense with all the insane stuff they've thrown at them in s2. however, Id like to see it in the context of his friends and family rallying around to help and support him and show him that he's got people to rely on, and that he's allowed to rely on them, plus the support of his AA meetings and therapy. I also need them to lay the groundwork for him struggling, so putting in signs of him deteriorating so the situation makes sense. this storyline doesn't need surprises to be interesting or good, and frankly it shouldn't have any.
as for him and Carlos, I definitely want to see them househunting! I'd like to see the combination of househunting/Carlos with Tommy's kids/Grace and Judd having their baby have an impact on their perspectives regarding their future and spark that conversation (like, looking at houses with more rooms and thinking about kids, future, marriage etc). I think that maybe one of them, probably TK, or maybe both of them those boys have way too many parent issues having anxieties about being a dad could be an interesting way to add tension without being too drastic, and then that can be resolved in a way that reassures them of their relationship and reaffirms their strength as a couple. the talk about the future would also lay the groundwork towards a proposal at the end of s3.
-Grace
grace :) my love :)
I could watch episode after episode of Grace kicking ass and saving people over the phone. I'd love to see an episode set there? like, some kind of story within the call centre with all the handlers having to resolve that between them, but also tie in the first responders, so we see the fire team, the paramedics and Carlos all working but we only see the bits that Grace and the other call handlers hear, if that makes sense? also an actual Grace/Carlos team up where they are coming in from the different angles with different amounts of evidence and figuring out the best way to solve something together. plus I'd like to see her maybe get some recognition for being awesome at her job, maybe another handler coming to her for advice on how to solve something.
of course we've got the baby Ryder on the way, and I want that to go comfortably and smoothly for her. she deserves that. lots of wholesome excitement for her and Judd from the whole extended firefam, baby shower, gifts, the full works. pamper grace please.
-Judd
judd4captain2k22. please.
yeah I know its not gonna happen, but I loved judd stepping in as captain this season and I'd love to see that continued with him taking more leadership, and Owen deferring to him for advice/council in a work environment rather than personal life. maybe set up a long term idea about judd being a captain someday.
he's gonna be a dad :') so what are his anxieties about that? why were they putting it off before? was it related to his PTSD? he's got lots of people relying on him now, how does that make him feel? what if his kid loses him? id like to see him still using therapy as a tool to help himself deal with everything. lots of meaty questions to dig into there :D
-Marjan
I'd quite like to see more of her balancing her daredevil nature with the impact of that and realising how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. or on the flip side, maybe the team is dealing with a really dangerous situation and they utilise her fearlessness to save people. her relationship with social media could also come back? but bring in the development they gave her this season, and her Firefox presence is more serious, less flippant?
I think that theres now a space for her to explore her sexuality/romantic experience now that she hasn't got her engagement with Salim as a kind of failsafe. maybe she wants to put herself out there and date, but thats really daunting as shes never really had to do that before? personally I think this could tie in really well with a self discovery/exploration regarding her sexual orientation, but I doubt they’d go there with her, so thats just my headcanon.
-Paul
I want them to draw on Paul’s observational skills and perceptiveness more, especially on calls and in emergencies. I remember someone (sorry I cant remember who) pointed out that he would have been a great character to centre the arsonist plot around in terms of noticing the clues etc, so id love a storyline that revolves around him dealing with an emergency like that. I also really want a Carlos and Paul friendship so maybe them collaborating on a call to solve something, that’d be cool.
can we give Paul a girlfriend please. if im not complely insane, there was a reference to someone in like,, 2x04?? someone who put mayo in his sandwich? idk I havent checked (edit: it was aioli in his banh mi! thank you @meneatyoghurt), but if there is someone can we show him having a fun and loving relationship please. I dont need there to be any drama. just them having fun on a date or something.
-Carlos
so I know that some people are keen to see him in his police role more but I really don't need much of that. on calls with the 126 I'd like to see him be the officer in charge more, but I don't need police-exclusive storylines. I've talked about it here if you want to know why.
the only area that I'd like to see would be in the direction of reform/addressing the flaws of the system, and I think they can do that on a personal level for him, because he and Mitchell need a chat. if they'd gone with her decision in 2x08, he, Mitchell and the bank robber would all be dead, and I think thats gotta have some impact. also the fact that he was suspended for trying to preserve life. theres a lot they could work with there and maybe have him thinking about how he can do good and how he can effectively protect and serve. not to mention, the opportunity that would provide in terms of addressing his relationship with his dad and how he maybe sought approval by pursuing a police career?
also I’d like him to learn that he doesnt need to accept blame/preemptively put blame on himself and that he doesnt need to apologise when someone else hurt him. kind of want to send him to therapy. kind of want to send all the characters to therapy. but yeah, him learning that he can accept apologies and understand that he doesnt have to make people feel better for hurting him. hes allowed to be hurt and feel pained about it. and that can tie into his relationships with Mitchell, with TK and with his parents.
I think I mentioned most of the tarlos stuff in TK’s section, but I wouldn't mind at least one instance for them where we see it all from his perspective instead of TK’s.
finally ive mentioned above how i’d like a team up with Paul on a scene and both of them figuring it out together. I'd also like them having a friendship outside work, just the two of them, bonding over books and being relatively sane people compared to the rest of their friends.
-Mateo
Mateo is so sweet. I loved 2x14 and the recognition he got, more of that please! also theres still so much I want to know - one of the more consistent things they set up for him in s2 was his faith, so I want to know more about that. what's his relationship with religion and God? he's pretty isolated from his family so how does he feel about that? is his religion something that helps him feel connected to them? maybe the church helped him find a community when he first came to the states, before he got settled with the 126, and he finds reassurance in faith that God is looking after his family while he cant be there? I think maybe there's scope for a conversation between Marjan and Mateo about that, about that distance and caring for their families through faith and prayer.
also, if he's still with the horrible firehouse, I'd like to see the other firefighters being won round by his resilience and stepping up to look out for him, and someone backing him up against the captain. Mateo is used as the butt of the joke most of the time, but I'd also like to see a bit more acknowledgement of things like losing his house and the bullying hes going to get more of from this firehouse.
-Nancy
I think that her speech to Tommy in 2x14 was really telling, and I'd love to see them expand on that a bit more. first on the loss and fear of losing her friends and coworkers, but then also on her hopes and aspirations - she said she wants to be a paramedic captain so lets see her working to take her exams and qualifications, and showing initiative on scenes etc.
id like to see more of her being integrated into the 126 group. she and marjan turned up to the hangout together, so lets develop that relationship more. I would love it to be romantic but I'd also love to see that as a friendship. but also her forming bonds with others in the group as well as more of her and TK being a chaos duo. I love that they stole the ambulance, more of that insanity please!
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I think thats it? if youre still reading, youre insane and I appreciate you a lot! honestly im open to all sorts of things in s3, this isnt a prediction or anything, its just stuff I think would be interesting based on where the characters are now. 
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prince-liest · 5 years ago
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Hawks is interesting to me because of how he became a hero. Horikoshi could have just kept it entirely as him being a lucky talented kid. Specially chosen, straight road to success. Just born that way, into a fortunate heroes origin story. Because really, in today's world there are definitely those rich families. With a lot of connections, giving actual support to their children. Those kids having ways to get higher up the ladder in life. (1)
Heck, I hear about some opening their own companies in their freakin teens. All amazing prodigical feats when there's people without support who struggle and sometimes can't make the cut. They aren't lucky like that. But Hawks' story isn't entirely that. Sure getting to be the No.2 hero sounds privileged. He's getting recognized by the overseers of the heroic world, gets to be trained by them. Sounds like a great opportunity hard to come by. But that's not the truth at all. (2)
It wasn't a straight road to success. He started off in the bottom of society, in poverty. Alcoholic parents and a criminal. They aren't proud parent applauding him, this isn't some scholarship. It was totally other reasons. If U.A does background checks would they have accepted him as a student? I mean, in fics you always see so many issues about accepting Bakugo. Bc he was a middle school bully of all things. A kid related to a villain would be harder to accept no? (3)
Or do all Hero students come from safe family backgrounds. Not a mark on their record. Something so nice, simple and happy in their own character too. Easy progression, talks of inspirational heroic ideals. You can have people so idealistic, who adore heroism and are so loud and clear in what they strive for. Your classic shonen determination thing. Then theres Hawks, who does it out of necessity. Hes so quiet in it. Fast, getting the job done. Even kinda impatient and grumpy during patrols. (4)
It's such a stark contrast. Things weren't all shiny for him, but he works hard anyways. You'd think being a hero would just be a job, but he still cares so much. And for the students! For everyone to smile! Even with whatever caused his opinion on things to change so much through the years. He's doing good, saving lives. That what makes him an efficient hero, even if he can't put people at ease how he wanted originally. But he still thinks of that? When he accepted to be a spy? (5)
And things are about to get worse for him with the fallout of this raid. There's so much he has to shoulder by himself, really doesn't make the whole 'prodigy kid' story, sunshine and rainbows. Guess it's why I like All Might and Deku too, starting off at the bottom, having suffered, and worked hard to get to where they are. Their careers will and did make them suffer more, but they move forward anyways. And about being stuck in a system. Take the educational one for instance. (6)
Teachers can be compared to heroes. They gotta follow whatever the education department says, they even gotta attend some training sessions sometimes. I remember my teacher being absent for those. Regardless of what they like or think, they can't oppose 'the higher authority.' When it comes to what to do with the students, or teaching plans, the way tests are done. There are no exceptions of any sort. And the heroes in bnha are probably the same. (7)
They shouldn't really question anything or go against it. They can't run things as they like. But you see Hawks questioning and disliking the Hpsc's decisions a lot. He digs around for information he isn't privy to. He still ends up following them, (granted, when we were shown, it was another necessity.) so I hope one day he does what he believes in instead of what others do. There's no way of knowing whether Hawks liked heroes as kid. He didn't like All Might when everyone did. (8)
But he did like Endeavor after he saved him. Which then turned into liking his perseverance. And I'm very curious to know why he does. After all, that keep striving attitude to get out of being stuck in a certain place is also what students from less fortunate backgrounds need to do to reach a good place like say, Med school. Which Hawks doesn't need to do anymore since he's already the No.2, but looking at a guy who used to be No.2 trying to do that. (9)
When he's already so high up, what would have happened if little Keigo tried to strive for something, did his best in school to get out of the poverty-stricken situation he was in. Ah but he won't have that question answered, the HPSC intervened so soon. Sorry this is a whole mess and I think I shifted from what I actually wanted to say a lot. Bah, Hawks just had to get my mind walking in circles. I could talk more if I try, but I feel bad for sending ten asks T.T tried to keep them few. (10)
I hope you don’t mind me putting this under a cut, anon, it was a delight to read but I feel bad killing people’s dashes with it!
I think you make a really good point - we have plenty of characters in the manga that resent others for being born with opportunities, like Shinsou says to Midoriya or how the League sees heroes like Hawks. Ironically, in both cases, the accuser is speaking to someone whose backstory they are unaware of and in fact turns out has suffered similar injustices or hardships prior to getting to where they are now.
This isn’t to say that they haven’t been blessed with opportunity - getting All Might’s Power or having a powerful quirk like Hawks does are both extremely integral to their success - but it does serve to highlight how even the seemingly quite successful individuals in BNHA have suffered at the hands of their society. I feel like a lot of the discussion we see with regards to BNHA meta is very oriented around the heroes versus the villains, but I’ve always kind of seen the situation as a doomed, mutually destructive fight of the status quo hero society versus the villains’ vying for domination and destruction where the intended “side” to rise up at the end isn’t either of those but rather the newest generation of heroes represented by Deku and the other students.
They represent hope, not only for protecting people from the likes of All For one, but for creating a hero society that is more genuine and less selfish than the one designed by the Hero Public Safety Commission. Because the current state of things does rely on people to be lucky, both in what they’re born with and who decides they’re worth anything, and that hurts everyone involved, not just those on the villainous fringes of society.
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gg-astrology · 5 years ago
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🥺😔☀️💓❤️💓
a rambly all-over-the-place personal note! Incase you just want to hear from me and talk to me!! I know i’ve been gone for a while so if any followers old/new wants to hear what I actually say when Im not answering posts, here it is! 💓❤️💓 
the main point so you don’t have to see any of the mess: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted! 
note: the main part of this isn’t even about the above so if u’re looking for drama or me angsting you may not find it here!! i think i sound more like im fatigued and on my last brain cells.. talking about everything and being v sappy and mellow.. so!!! 💓❤️💓 no drama. not here! not today! 
ok now, consider:
what do u guys think about me just taking it easy... i dont know if you’ve been here for a while or for long.. but I usually do pretty detailed research posts?? about topics like moon phase in astrology, basics on essential dignitaries, etc. 
Astrology ‘topics’... stuff like ‘what is x chart what does it mean’ or ‘what is x concept how does it work’ -- not about placements usually!!! 💓❤️💓Asks about placements I just answer for fun from my inbox.. but posts I actually make.. those are the type of things!!! 💓❤️💓
And well.. I just came back.. not in the mindset right now.. so i was thinking.. would u be ok/interested if i take a break from those posts and maybe post more idol astrology stuff?? nothing serious, I just want to have fun and talk about placements and gush over people who may have similar placements to us and how good they are + how we can learn from them... 
Its just fun stuff?? very light-hearted (dont talk to me about crying through them sometimes, bc theyre so good even when i see harsh aspects/them going through manifestation of that throughout their careers) -- idk!! I just want to maybe talk about girls for a while and like, ask people to love girls and support/appreciate girl groups and asian soloists and artists... 
idk!! just a thought.. like.. i’ll still answer astro stuff and maybe i’ll slip astro posts in there as well.. 90% of my blog is still main astro stuff.. just that 10% maybe i’ll do more idol readings.. it lifts my spirits and i like talking about them!! i know its a niche in tumblr, esp the kpop gg astro stuff.. but like... girls...!!! and seventeen members (im nearly done oh my god theres 3 more left!!!)
I know i put a lot of effort into the bangtan readings bc theyre like-- the semi between my usual intense stuff and the light-hearted ones so im-- probably not gonna touch them yet (for now)  -- I always have high expectations for them because they have to be a certain Standard. There’s alot of great bangtan astro posts out there -- part of that is also v pressuring. But another part is that I want to contribute to something in the community as well! That is like, new and welcomed and good and Not Bad... so... I’m holding off bc I have to have like, a week to actually write, edit, re-edit, check myself before I (usually) publish them.. so... this is ur warning my bts inner readings wont be coming out soon!! 
im just talking about gg stuff -- or other idols, thinking about twice and gfriend and oh my god.... girl groups...
I rmb I used to do it to promote solo artists that might not have gotten alot of attention as well.. I still have drafts about Bolb4.. now consider: younha... also consider: xiao zhan, wang yibo... oh my god... but what if-- idk!!! idk!!!!!!
Anyways I just want to let u know whats been on my mind!!! I honestly dont really know? I posted the bangtan answer today (with a warning beforehand) and AS SOON AS I PUBLISHED 4 people left -- to be honest its pretty funny,,, its kinda funny right?? i think its funny,,, like kpop repellent,, but also i Get it!!! its not for u its ok dont take this social media thing so seriously... its fine i do it all the time too, dont feel guilty over blocking or unfollowing someone - do it as soon as you feel uncomfy tbh its a safe place for u make it ur safe spot!!
But!! Yeah!! 💓❤️💓 Idol things, thoughts? 💓❤️💓 
And this is not related but I was looking at old questions/asks in my inbox (some that ive alrdy answered but its still there -- like 6 asks? so thats... 6 out of the current 122 asks oof) and people are So Nice and So Polite to me!!!! amazing!!! fortunate!!!! One lucky bitch!!!!! Thats me!!!! Im the lucky bitch, who?? people are just so courteous towards when they request or asks for something?? wow---
Its only like, half way in the middle of my old asks that I realize once its more mainstream astro ppl start sending asks in like im google search... rip anyone who does that i deleted the ask bc i have a faq.. my only rule is that be nice.. not playing by the rules!!!!! 
Its also a little introspective to think about it now.. how back then when I didn’t realize it was happening I carried through and answered them anyways bc like... atleast people were asking?? they’re curious?? right?? keep the public fed! there’s people out there who does enjoy my actual answer than the ask itself...but like... now that i’m back and Refreshen: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted. I’ll quote this and put it up before the read more so thats the main meat of this long rant!! 💓❤️💓
basically what im saying about all this is: don’t let people treat you that way, or anyway you don’t feel absolutely positively happy about. I’m still keeping some asks that I do want to answer/I think can be turned into great points. But marie-kondo yourself, you don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s encyclopedia, dictionary or google!!!!!
they don’t really care, and it doesn’t really matter if you answer or not -- bc they can just type in the same thing to other astrologer out there and mayb someone will hit it and answer for them. So!!!! dont compromise, delete anything that doesn’t treat u like human. Bc u’re not a bot!!!! Do better!!! This is from future nita to past nita!!! Do better!!! This is why u burnt out and went awol for like a month!!!!!!!! Dont let this happen again or get into the habit, cry to ur friends!!! Ask ur beta for help!!!!!!! Add some people in as ur admin so they can clearly tell u what is right and whats wrong!!!!! dummie you’re too soft and kind!!!!! stop making excuses for others!!!!!!! do better in 2020!!!!!
So this is my rambling over!!! Answered 42 asks in my queue, know that around 30 of them have already been posted. That’s 72 done today!! Not to mention the 30 yesterday -- I was v dumb and didn’t close the ask box, thus I had +10 asks in my inbox today but its ok!!!!!!! Let the people Speak!!!! I’ll post this PSA now and go I hope u enjoy hearing from me even if I’m just rambling -- love u!! take care of urself!!! i hope this helps or entertain anyone who’s looking to know me better or hear some words from me personally!!!! this is me, signing out!!! 
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inyournightmares97 · 6 years ago
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My Youth (Chapter 6)
Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.
Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)
Word Count: 5.7k+
(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)
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“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.
His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.
Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”
“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.
“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death.  Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”
Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”
“Well… yes, but-”
“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”
Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”
Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”
“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”
“Bye, Mom.”
Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.
“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.
Focus. The presentation. The numbers.  
Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.
“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”
The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”
“May I begin the presentation?”
“Please, do.”
--------
Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.
He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.
Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.
A very lonely life.
Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.
Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?
There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.
It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.
He had made the wrong choices.
------
“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.
Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.
What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.
“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.
Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”
Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.
“She always looked tired. And worried.”
“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”
Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”
Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”
She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.
Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”
Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”
“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”
“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.
Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?
“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”
------
Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.
Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.
Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.
Left with nothing with shame.
“Ahjussi!”
By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.
“What-”
“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”
Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”
Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”
“You’ll have to keep my secret.”
“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”
Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”
“Then how? How did you do it?”
Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.
“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”
Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”
“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.
Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”
Ki-woo pouted. “But-”
“Nope. Back inside. Now.”
Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.
Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”
Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course-”
“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.
“I don’t really have a phone right now…”
“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”
Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”
Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”
Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”
“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”
“Sure.”
Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.
Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.
It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?
“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”
Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”
You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”
Jinyoung felt small.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“Did they find your house?”
“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”
Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”
“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?
“About… about last night…”
You blinked. “Yeah?”
He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”
You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”
Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”
The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.
But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?
How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?
“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”
“How can I not-”
“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”
Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”
“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”
“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.
“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.
Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”
“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”
You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”
“Bye.”
---------------------------
The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.
You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.
You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.
You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.
Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.
You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?
You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys  at midnight.
You sighed and dialled another number.
“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”
-------------------
It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.
You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.
“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.
The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”
Jinyoung? At this time of night?
You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.
“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”
Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”
“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”
Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”
“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”
“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.
You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”
Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.
“We used to be good friends.”
You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.
And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.
“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”
Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”
“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”
His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”
“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.
To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.
Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”
“Then why are you-”
“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”
You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”
“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”
You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”
“You’re lying.”
You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”
Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”
You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?
“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”
Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”
“I’m not-”
“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”
You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
“What?”
“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.
Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”
Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?
“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”
“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”
You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.
“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”
Jinyoung stared at you silently.
“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.
Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.
“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”
You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”
Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.
“She did,” he mumbled.
You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.
“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”
Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”
“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”
Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”
“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”
“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”
“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”
You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”
Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”
You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”
Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”
“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”
“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”
Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.
Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.
He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.
“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”
Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”
“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”
“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.
“What’s that?”
“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”
You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.
You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.
“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.
“Even us?” he mumbled.
You nodded. “Even us.”
“Even me?”
“Especially you.”
Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.
“You know something?”
“What, Jinyoung?”
“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.
You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.
“But it’s not?” you asked.
Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”
-------------------
192 notes · View notes
boycottphil · 6 years ago
Note
Omg if you're writing usuk can you please do something involving the Beatles/Beatlemania or the British Invasion in general? Theres so much good material there but no one really writes about it. I will love you forever
For context, I am taking fanfic requests!
This was a lot of fun to write! I wasn’t too sure if this is what you meant, anon, but if it’s not, feel free to send another ask! I’d be happy to write more. Anyway, enjoy!
Pairing: UsUk Rating: T Warnings: Strong language, mentions of blood, smoking (cigarettes)  Word count: 2026  
Imagine hundreds of thousands of people screaming your name. Imagine hundreds of thousands of people obsessing over your every step, word, move… Imagine loving every second of the intrusive behaviour displayed by fans.
Arthur, the lead singer of the “best band in history,” lived off of such things. Fame… It brought him joy, joy which he previously thought was impossible for him to feel. He was surrounded by security, yet his favourite moments were those when a fan managed to get to him, and looked at him with amazement in their eyes…
Looked at him as if he were a god.
[[MORE]]
Now, one could say that such thoughts and such behaviour was perhaps a bit… unhealthy. And one would be right. Arthur was sick; getting off on his own fame, and as he gathered more and more fans all over the world with each tour, he felt better. And better.
His band was good, not the best band in the world, per say, but definitely good. Their music was largely enjoyed by a female audience. Girls loved to imagine the songs being sung to them personally. They were written to be perceived that way. No names of girls were mentioned… no hints at any particular gender were given either.
Now, there were rumours, as there always are surrounding any band as huge as Arthur’s. Rumours like selling their souls to the devil, rumours like being robots invested by the government. Rumours like… being gay.
Arthur could only benefit from rumours that claimed he was an alien. It added more mystery to his character, more reasons for people to check out his music, come to his concerts. However…
Rumours that claimed he was gay could destroy his career. The thing is… he is gay. He does not fancy women at all. He couldn’t care less when girls form whole crowds and take off their shirts and bras. He didn’t care about his bandmate’s groupies offering threesomes or foursomes or ogies. He’d rather bang his bandmates if he didn’t despise them all.
He came quite close to having his career ruined, though.
One day, while touring the United States, they stopped in middle-of-nowhere-town of some State that Arthur thought was made up by the Americans to make it to 50 states in the first place. He was still convinced there aren’t 50 of them, but 10 divided into five parts each. But he would not express that opinion. Lest someone shot him for even mentioning the USA in any context that doesn’t presents it as the best country on the planet.
It was a town they were merely passing through, but they had to stop for fuel and food and for the drivers to rest a bit as well. Arthur wore his sunglasses and had clothes on that he wasn’t known for wearing, and decided to walk around town a bit. They had a few hours, and he wasn’t about to pass the opportunity to stretch his legs and turn off his brain a bit. Touring meant little walking and too much work, so moments such as those were few and far between.
He had purchased a box of cigarettes, which he planned to get through before he had to be locked in a fast moving vehicle again; in which he wasn’t allowed to smoke. With a fag already lit and dangling off his lips, he walked out onto the pavement, ready to resume his walk just when…
He was bumped into by some 5 foot 6 tall boy. He groaned as his cigarette fell into a puddle, together with his sunglasses. He grumbled and hurried to retrieve his glasses but, well… the kid already saw.
“Arthur Kirkland?! No way!!” He yelled too loudly, his voice far too deep for what Arthur assumed was a 13 year old boy.
“Shh!” Arthur shushed and then wrapped an arm around the other’s head and covered his mouth so he couldn’t make more noise. He felt screaming behind his hand and the boy seemed to be losing his mind just from being touched. Arthur did love attention… but not in some hick town when he was looking for a quiet place to smoke and meditate until he had to leave again.
He dragged the other into an alley- not a suspicious thing to do at all- and shushed him until the other stopped freaking out. He rambled about being touched and carried by Arthur, all of which was technically true, but it sounded so much more dramatic coming out of the kid’s mouth.
“Okay, listen here, kid-” he started, but was promptly interrupted.
“Kid? I’m 19!” He argued.
Arthur looked annoyed, but slightly less on-edge about dragging him into a dark alley. “Whatever, mate. Just stop screaming like a bloody schoolgirl. I don’t want this whole town to know we’re here. The paparazzi would hound us for hundreds of miles, like they did in the last town this happened in.” He explained as he lit his second cigarette- he was mourning the first.
“So you really are Arthur Kirkland?” The other asked, already taking off the backpack he had on and reaching for the first paper and pen he had. “Would you please sign this?” He asked, his bright blue eyes shining in anticipation.
Arthur frowned, but he took the pen and, without really looking or even thinking about it, produced a perfect loopy signature.
“Whoaa… That’s so cool! My name’s Alfred so could you…”
Arthur added, ‘for Alfred, stay cute’ at the bottom, as he does for all signatures, merely replacing the name.
“You think I’m cute?! Wow, Arthur Kirkland thinks I’m cute!!” Alfred said, his voice so high pitched in excitement that Arthur almost really did think he was cute.
“No, mate- I write that for everyone. Most of my fans are girls, you see and-” once again, he was interrupted.
“But you do think I’m cute! I can tell. You keep looking at me,” Alfred insisted, perhaps a bit cheekily. Arthur blinked, trying not to seem too taken  aback.
“I, uh… I don’t… What?” He was usually never speechless. He always had a way to make a fan swoon over him with smooth comebacks and flirty lines that made girls go absolutely mad. But this was a boy. A boy who had called him out on his obvious interest in him, and a boy who, while excited to see him, clearly didn’t think he was a god.
Weird. He was supposed to always be seen as a god. What else could he be seen as?
“So… if you could keep this meeting to yourself for the next 24 hours, that would be bloody fantastic. Now, if you excuse me…” he mumbled and started walking away. He thought Alfred would be satisfied enough with that; he got an autograph and a hug- sort of. But no…
“So where are you headed now?” Came the American voice of the 19 year old who just decided to tag along.
Arthur felt his blood beginning to boil just a bit. “That is literally none of your business. Literally.” He sighed, exasperated.
Alfred fell into step beside him, keeping up easily even as the Brit tried to speed up. “Aw, come on! I won’t tell. I know how to keep secrets! I’m great at it. This one time, my cousin Austin, he told me that he and his aunt on his mum’s side-”
Arthur stopped abruptly. “How the fuck are you good at keeping secrets?”
“Well… I… You don’t know my cousin Austin, do you?”
Arthur groaned and kept walking, now deciding to ignore Alfred entirely. The teen though; he decided that he would ignore Arthur ignoring him. The Brit continued walking and smoking his cigarette as if Alfred wasn’t right there, and talking his ears off about dinosaurs and spaceships and how much he loved boys and how he knew Arthur could relate and-
Wait.
They had at that point reached a park, which was perhaps the size of two average backyards. There was no one around, and Arthur really appreciated it.
“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, his blood really getting to a simmer.
“Well, you know… You’ve never been seen with a girl, you never touch girls, you don’t talk about girls, you don’t even seem interested to all the girls we just passed while getting here. At all. You’re gay, and I can tell,” Alfred claimed.
“I have absolutely no idea where you get those ideas from. How would you know what I do in my free time?” He crossed his arms, perhaps a bit defensively.
“You look at my lips and arms so much, and you’ve looked at my ass too. I’m not dumb, you know! There’s no shame in being gay, Arthur. It’s all just-”
Arthur was angry at that point. He threw his half finished cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, then turned to face Alfred. “I don’t know who you think you are, but if you’re gay and you think making up lies is going to turn me gay, then forget about it. All right? I don’t even mess with groupies in the first place. Would you kindly leave me the fuck alone now?” He said loudly, keeping his composure enough not to yell at this kid.
“You’re just mean and in denial because you think if you come out that girls will stop obsessing over you. That’s okay. If you don’t want a groupie because all of them are girls, that’s understandable. But I mean… I’m free. I ran away from home a week ago. I have nowhere to be so… I could come with you. Warm your bed at night. Maybe do a few more other things too. Like ride you while you-”
Arthur punched him. He got too heated, too angry, amd he just… threw the punch. His knuckles ached after, and Alfred was holding onto his bleeding nose. It didn’t seem broken, but knowing the consequences of literally punching someone, Arthur began briskly walking away.
He should have expected to see the American again, before he even managed to walk down half a block. How he could cradle a bloody nose and run after him was a miracle.
“That was so rude!! I did not deserve to be fucking punched, man! I was just teasing you, dude! It’s literally not my fault that you are hiding your repressed homosexuality-”
“Stop. Calling. Me. Gay.” He growled, taking one step closer to the teen with each word uttered.
Alfred was practically pinned to a wall just then, looking up at the Brit with wide blue eyes. He was tall and handsome and…
And he kissed Alfred before he could get socked again. Instead of being pushed away and hit, as Alfred expected he would, he was pulled closer and kissed intensely enough to have all the air sucked out of his lungs.
Arthur pulled away seconds later, practically pushing himself off Alfred. Even behind his sunglasses, his eyes looked wide and shocked at what he had done. He looked around, then took Alfred’s hand and ran toward the bus.
He fucked up. He fucked up big time. But that’s okay… No one saw. And if he just kept Alfred with him on tour at all times… No one would find out that he was gay. At all.
“Is everything you need in that backpack?” He asked Alfred, out of breath from running, once they arrived at the bus.
“Yeah, why?” He asked and took off his backpack so he could take some tissues out and clean the blood off his face.
“Good. You’ll be coming with us on tour,” Arthur stated bluntly, not even bothering to listen for a yes or a no. Alfred grinned like a kid and hopped into the bus behind Arthur, already reaching out to cop a feel of his favourite singer’s ass.
Needless to say, Arthur did get himself a groupie. Involuntarily. And now every day became a series of “I almost outed myself to my millions of crazy fans.” It could be worse. At least he sleeps with a cute and annoying twink every night.
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hozukitofu · 6 years ago
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Tobirama vs parenting
As far as anyone a lot of people are aware, Senju Tobirama is a bachelor. Without a spouse. Possibly never married, or, well, no spouse can be seen in sight.
Make no mistake - he’s desirable. He is pretty. Very pretty - blindingly so. Heads turn when he walks down the street. Model recruitment officers have approached him consistently since the age of 11 to persuade him to take up a modelling career. There were a lot of random proposals in the past that Hashirama will be very happy to reenact loudly and publicly, to the presence and sighs of his brother.
The point is that he’s pretty and he’s financially stable and he’s fit and overall a perfect groom to all the desperate mothers out there searching for a suitable spouse for their wayward spawns. People have begged him to marry their kids - Itama has footage of someone ambushing Tobirama on his runs and clutching onto his arm and begging for a marriage, for his daughter. It’s bizarre. The man himself had to relocate a couple of times and obscured his address from his limited circle of friends because the petty and annoying pest Madara keeps on sending admirers outside his door and he can’t go to work that way, go away Madara.
He’s pretty and very very desirable on the market of remarkably small pool of eligible bachelors, and it is only the combined forces of his brothers hissing around him and his red vampiric eyes that steer people away from him, arguably number one desirable bachelor of Konoha.
Somebody joked once about how Senju-san is like a vampire but then a group of soccer mums saw him at the butcher buying two kilograms of steak cuts for his family dinner and it happened. They asked him how would he like his steak, because that’s how people flirt nowadays, and in a very flat voice, Tobirama informed them that he eats his steak raw, like the blood of my enemies, and nobody had ever approached him about his dietary preferences ever since.
(Torifu broke down crying when he was told that. Homura most likely taught Tobirama that line, though they wouldn’t put it past him to come up with it on the spot himself, because he’s just a dry and sarcastic bastard by nature.)
So Tobirama is a little tiny bit scary - no big deal, he’s still exceptionally easy on the eyes. Even with the red eyes and the cheek scars.
Scrap that. The man’s perfected the I am disappointed in you stare and people are sure that he has small children somewhere annoying the living daylights out of him to be able to recreate such a universal look on caretakers all across the globe and throughout history can recognise and sympathise with.
The man works in some government job - he’s in creaseless suits when he’s not in equally flawless and ironed kimono. He used to teach - or he still does, at the prestigious Konoha Academy, teaching law and politics with that stern voice of his. As far as anyone is aware, he's a workaholic - his brothers joked that the only loves of his life are kendo, calligraphy, books and his job, in which he agreed. On multiple occasions.
So it comes as a sort of awful surprise and a little bit of ‘I did not expect this and what’, when teenagers start appearing in his home and calling him variations of sensei, father and dad.
Tobirama doesn’t divulge on the specifics of his relations of these children, nor does he deny prying questions of Senju-san, are these minions yours? It’s so suspicious and people just want to know -
Is the prettiest but scariest Senju brother still a bachelor and are the goddamn demon children of his blood and good genes?
Tobirama has other more pressing issues than spending a second of his life to social gossips. Like Itama’s fellowship dinner. Reminding Hashirama to stop burying himself, for once, under paperwork. Nagging the kids to do homework. Dissuading Koharu from setting her brothers on fire with an aerosol can and a matchbox.
He’s a single father raising six children and an entire man-child Hashirama. He doesn’t have time to even go for his runs without waking up exceptionally early, and Torifu throws actual fits when he’s up at a certain hour that is too early for his biological clock to process all the necessary chemicals and that’s bad for you, dad, don’t do that to yourself that’s self harm.
He should have really discouraged the food biology dream, but now the boy is an aspiring nutritionist and there’s no stopping him from seeking out his dream now.
Tobirama can’t sleep late too, because now Itama and Kawarama have little minions to do their nagging for them when they’re travelling to rural areas - Hiruzen is relentless in his constant ranting and Koharu just steals his paperwork and laptop and sprints. Kagami, the oldest, the first child and the one who should be on his side, only watches on the sideline and laughs at him whenever Torifu yells at him to go to bed at a reasonable time be a good role model to your children.
He doesn’t remember adopting these brats. They’ve just showed up one day after the classes they don’t share together, because Kagami is a tattler and the rest are opportunistic carnivores, and he’s a very sizable chunk of meat that their little vulture claws have hooked on and never once let go of since years ago. Now they’re registered under the same family as him, loosely, because Madara can’t let Kagami go and the Akamichi extended family can’t part with Torifu without a lot of tears and consolation hamper baskets and he’s just given up when it comes to the two of them. When they have enough funds to move out he’ll just sign the papers and adopt them into his family officially.
It is such a disservice to the cold, vampiric aesthetic (and front) that he keeps up in front of his neighbour, out of sheer entertainment because their reactions to his many comments are nothing short of comedic. Now he chases after Kagami and Danzo, the combined forces of them two destroying people’s lawns with their bikes even though they’re eighteen and shouldn’t be doing this, with his kimono on their forearms. Now the local fruit vendors knows the exact volume of how shrill his voice can reach when he’s telling Torifu and Homura off for buying three trays of mangoes ‘for science’ and then not eating them. He had been stripped from his kimonos to try frankly outrageous Harajuku street fashion because Koharu has a long-term hobby as a photographer and Hiruzen loves dressing him up in long skirts and crop tops and those really high waist pants that look great on him. Koharu’s Instagram blew up over a week because of the combined efforts of all of them to make Tobirama into the model that he deserves to be. 
(He likes every photo and prints out the photos that he and one of his kids are in it and pins them in his study.
The kids pretend they know nothing about it.)
Kagami somehow has a bottle of foundation that matches his skin perfectly and he can’t help but think that the brats had conspired and planned this out for a long time and he just have to accept it.
His neighbours all can describe the exact expression when each of his kid leaves home or graduate, because a lot of them are parents or they have parents, and that is the face of a man who loves his kids and saddens to see them leave his nest of safety, but he wishes all the best for them and waits for their return.
(And well, they still send fan letters to his mailbox everyday. It’s fascinating to see him shred them by the recycling bin before the rubbish trucks come take the rubbish away. Something about him with a knife just intrigues people.
His kids laugh at him all the way on their side of the phone when he tells them of this peculiar fixation on his manual paper shredding.)
press f if you want more 
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fairycosmos · 5 years ago
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Will u please give a poor soul a wee bit of advice as you’re a goddess of wisdom. I’m going into my last year of high school in a month & I feel so overwhelmed with the stress of the final exams and the application process for college. I’m mentally ill & while I used to be a good student, I have fallen down a slippery slope & I don’t know if I can deal with the pressure. Should I take a gap year before I go to college? I think it may lift some weight off, but it may also do more harm than good.
hey babeyyyy :(( i'm really sorry to hear that!! school is so fucking stressful and it's natural to worry about your final year, it just means you care about doing well. that's to be expected. but if you have preexisting mental health issues, your brain may force you to compulsively wonder about worst case scenarios and uncontrollable factors, as a way to induce self hatred or anxiety. it's a tactic, a side effect. but a lot of these thoughts do not reflect your reality or what the future will actually be like. there's no way of knowing, and you still have a whole year to adapt and to learn. the most likely outcome is that you will find a middle ground eventually. so breathe. i know it feels unimaginably awful at the moment, but identifying the difference between fact and fear will allow you to stay grounded in the present. it's ok if it takes a while to get to that point, or if your emotions overwhelm you at times. you've gotten through it before and you will again. sometimes all you can do is cry and lose it and let the 'episode' run its course. but as long as you're even just attempting to cope in a healthy way, through talking to someone you trust or distracting yourself, then you're doing great. better than you realize. another important thing to keep in mind is that your mental health is always more important than your education. just because it's your last year, doesn't mean you have to drop everything, no matter what the adults tell you. your academic career doesn't have to be linear, doesn't have to look like everyone else's. if you have to take a mental health day, or ask your teachers for additional support, you are TOTALLY entitled to that. in fact i encourage it. 'that' part of your brain may try to twist the narrative, may try to place blame or guilt, but your mental illness is not a reflection of your capability or your worth. and neither are your grades. don't ascribe morality or personhood to a letter on a page. the actual experience of leaving high school will probably teach you more than your lessons, in a good and bad way. anyway it's cool if you don't quite believe me right now, but i just hope that concept sticks in your head. ultimately though, all you have to do is take it a day at a time. create a simple short term plan and stick to it as best you can, repeatedly. with regular breaks of course. and make sure at least one of your teachers knows the gist of what's going on so you can keep an honest dialogue with them. it's a matter of finding what works for you, and adjusting accordingly. prioritising your mental well being should always be your goal, because everything starts with you. if you're not practicing self compassion, everything else feels a hundred times more daunting.
anywhere as far as the gap year goes, i think it's a good idea if it makes the upcoming year feel less scary. it's your life and your desicion. and theres literally no wrong answer. and you have a while to mull on it, you don't have to know for sure right now. if you need some time to truly focus on yourself then there's no harm in that. in fact i kind of think it's a sign of maturity when you know what you need and how to give it to yourself. if you can recognize that you're slipping, then that's actually a good sign. because you understand that you need help. you're not buying into any illusions. as a side note - of course, school brings structure which alleviates the impact of many mental health issues. when i briefly left college, i had no excuse to leave the house, and everything festered and i became even more isolated. though i did need that break to figure some shit out. as with everything, there's positives and negatives. so just be sure to keep up with smaller goals if you take time off, that's all. use the break to look into getting professional help if you haven't already. and try to practice self soothing exercises on a weekly or daily basis, even if you feel dumb. gap years are great tools if utilized correctly and fuck anyone who has anything to say about it. college will always be there, and even if you don't go at all for any reason - it wouldn't be the end of the world. there must be a lot of pressure rn for you but so much of it is just,,, bullshit. hindsight will allow you to see that. just gotta let yourself get to that point by living the natural solutions to your worries, and getting by a day at a time. when that feels like too much, an hour at a time. you're obviously still young as hell and your future is so much wider than your brain is allowing you to see. i promise! above all though, keep in mind that there are people to talk to and countless resources out there whenever you're struggling - whether it's at school, or in your community or your family, or through your doctor - there is always someone to turn to and always a way forward. the biggest trick of mental illness is that it convinces you otherwise, but it's a notorious liar. so. try not to self isolate even when the urge is there, and done be afraid to talk about what's going on in your head. let it be embarrassing. block everything else out and look at what will make you feel happier with your own existence from an objective perspective. cause that's all that matters really. anyway i'm wishing you so much luck with your final year and whatever happens, i hope you make some decent memories :) be sure to cut yourself some slack when possible. remember, the desicion is yours, no matter what. sending a lot of love to you!! let me know if you need a friend or want to walk more about it. (also goddess of wisdom sfhjhsdhh im a whole dumbass but. thank you lil peach 💞)
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gryndboxstudios · 6 years ago
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Artist Profile: Boton de Rosa
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I have been following Boton de Rosa, (or Mirsa, as I know her) since we were both in high school and I can say with confidence, she is one of the most talented artists I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Seeing the evolution of her art has been awe-inspiring, and I have no doubts that we’ll be seeing her art everywhere in a matter of time. I had the pleasure of asking her a couple of questions as part of our first ever artist profile!
First off, do you prefer Boton de Rosa or Mirsa? Where’d you come up with that name?
I like Boton de Rosa! It’s a nickname my mom gave to me when I was little, it’s Spanish for “rose button”.
I know you’ve been drawing since before I met you in high school, did you ever see yourself making prints, stickers, commissions, etc. Did you see yourself becoming a professional illustrator?
To be honest, I saw myself being a zoologist or something in the veterinary field when I was in high school. I completely put the idea of ever being a professional illustrator aside. I knew I was a decent artist, and most of my friends encouraged me to do something in the animation field or have a career with art. I just didn’t think of that as a possibility. When I took my gap semester in between high school and college, I started to reevaluate what I wanted, and since I wanted to go through a technical college instead of an actual university, I looked at their course curriculums to see what they had to offer. Digital media was the closest thing to anything I like, so I took that route. Best decision I ever made. It was until I moved to Brownsville that I actually started to get a small following, and my partner at the time was very pushy about “getting me out there”.
Would you say you have any overall themes in your art, any parts of yourself you like to put in your pieces?
I think a lot of my pieces just reflect emotion. For the most part, I tend to create bigger, significant pieces when an emotionally important part of my life has occurred. Theres a few undertones of heartbreak, betrayal, things like that.
What artists inspire you or taught you how to be better?
I started following Audra Auclair a couple of years ago, she’s one of my biggest influences. She is actually one of the main artists that got me into doing this again. Corpsetits is also amazing, Matt Bailey, Alex Pardee. I’ve been following him ever since he did an album cover for The Used, the bright colors and the grotesque. I live for it haha. Gabriel Picolo is also someone I started following more recently.
How has the criticism you gave yourself when you started different from the criticism you give yourself now?
I’m always criticizing myself, but I will say it’s gone down quite a bit. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m a lot happier with where I am now compared to where I was three years ago. I can see that reflected a lot in my art, I do always push myself to do better.
Are you happy with your art? Are there older pieces you wish you did better?
So far, yes! To be honest, I am very much a people-pleaser. As much as I do this for myself, just the feedback I get is more than enough. And yes, there’s a Bee and Puppycat fanart sitting on my old laptop I want to redo completely. Plus a million other sketches I have in my old sketchbook, all in due time haha.
What do you think about people buying your art? Would you buy your art?
It blows my mind! It makes me so, so happy, I put a lot of love in my work, so it means the world to me. I think I would, I always try to draw things that I would like to have. Not gonna lie, I have three of my stickers on my car and a few others in miscellaneous places.
What frustrates you while drawing?
As I mentioned before, I tend to draw some pieces when I’m in a certain emotional point in my life. Sometimes I run out of that “juice” and I have things sitting on my mac for weeks. I have a piece I haven’t been able to finish for the past month, I just haven’t found myself in that mindset anymore. I’m also somewhat of a procrastinator, so that always sabotages me in the worst of ways.
How often do you draw, be it doodles or projects?
Multiple times a day, I have a scratchpad full of doodles in the office where I work. Plus sketchpads scattered across my apartment and in my car for whenever I get some inspiration.
Would you ever consider any other mediums?
I really would like to! I’ve always wanted to have an anime series or something of the sort. When I lived in the valley I started writing rough drafts of a zombie apocalypse short called “Maya-Pocalypse”. Basically, it would be a small dog (inspired by my own Maya) surviving the zombie apocalypse and trying to find her way back to her owner. It was great, but I never set time aside to do research on how to animate or maybe have it set into a comic.
What are some of your other hobbies?
I love to take my dogs out on hikes, write poetry, play ukulele (albeit badly), and occasionally play video games.
When do you know when a piece is finished? 
I don’t think I’m ever finished, haha. Even when I send something out to print, I sometimes add little details here and there. There’s always something changing.
I know you do both traditional and digital, what’s your setup for digital look like?
Digital art consists of my iPad Pro, Apple pencil, my Mac and the magic mouse. I use Procreate and Illustrator Draw on my iPad, which is really useful. I really recommend the iPad Pro, it lets me start off a drawing in the app, then I can transfer it over via the creative cloud and I can finish it up on my mac.
Where do you start when starting a piece?
The eyes, eyebrows and eyes help me set the tone to what I’m drawing.
Where can you see your art going?
I’m hoping to get it on an album cover someday, or even on a movie poster.
What are you working on now? Any big plans for your art, have you considered entering shows?
Yes, I’ve been invited to do two shows, one in February and another in March, so I’m hoping to have something really neat ready for those two. I want to sell my work at a vendor spot sometime this year. Just to be able to get over my shyness and talk to people and sell them my art would be cool.
That’s about all the questions I have for you, anything else you’d like to add?
I would like to say that no matter how many times you get stuck, don’t ever stop! We all have our own creative processes and just take a little while to get where we need to be. Trust yourself and just keep going!
You can follow Mirsa on Instagram to keep up with her art here! Follow Gryndbox Studios as well for cool shit here and there! IG TWITTER
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btsxyou · 8 years ago
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PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU’RE A KPOP FAN OKAY
So theres a term called Ethnocentrism which is the assumption that one’s own culture is normal.
Theres another term called Cultural Relativism which is the recognition that one culture can’t be judged based off the standards of another.
NOTE: Incessant bad behavior is not okay, and I am by no means saying that it is.  This includes: saying the n word, blatant racism, etc.  This is just about difference in culture, in social terms, and an explanation of two culture terms.  All I’m asking is that we all take a breather from time to time and understand differences and spread love.
NOTE NOTE:  Its hard to sum up everything in a cohesive post, and my thoughts and words may sound negative or rub you the wrong way. This is NOT the goal, and if you are concerned, PLEASE ASK ME WHAT I MEANT INSTEAD OF SENDING ME UNNECESSARY HATE. It’ll save everyone a lot of trouble.
I bring this up because having been in the kpop world now for two years I have noticed some things people have said or done that didn’t quite make sense to me. I’m not talking about idols either, I’m talking about fans.
((Please don’t take this post as me just talking about Korea because this goes for literally every other cultural group in the world. ))
We all come from different countries, different ethnicities, and belong to different races. Its very evident that there’s a large variety of people here and its quite diverse.
I’ve noticed that people have called idols out on certain actions or things they have said. Even if you believe they have done something wrong, does that mean that they really did?  Idols also come from a variety of different cultures.  Idols that aren’t Korean or aren’t from Korea are experiencing a different culture as they continue careers there.  Your culture is very normal to you, yes.  My American culture is very normal to me. However you shouldn’t let your own culture hinder your view of others.
Korean culture isn’t American culture.  It’s not Western culture.  It may have some elements here and there, yes, and a lot of cultures do through years and years of cultural exchange and globalism.  They have their own history, their own story, they own beliefs and views, and their own way of living. And it may not be normal to you. And thats okay.
However, don’t accuse someone of a different culture for doing something that is considered weird, or wrong, or whatever else in your own culture. Because guess what? Your rules don’t apply to others.  
Something that is normal in your every day life might not even exist elsewhere. Actions that occur, words that are said, slang, slurs, etc., are not always cross-cultural or universal.  Other countries may have never heard of things, they may not be familiar with their meanings because it just doesn’t exist there. (Obviously some racial slurs are well known, but a lot aren’t!)  We are not innate human beings.  We are not born all-knowing, we live and we learn. That is the point of life. 
If you happen to be confused or feeling a little upset, I appreciate messages asking for clarification on the things in this post, and not hate messages telling me I have no idea what I’m talking about when I���m literally just expanding on two very real cultural terms using a common country.  If not, please keep reading!
What upsets me the most about this subject is that fans are so quick to call someone out saying they’re being “insensitive” or “inconsiderate” or “ignorant” because of something that an idol has done based off of what they have learned their whole lives, or what is normal to them, or even doing something that they particularly aren’t familiar with and don’t have a deeper knowledge about. (I’m sure you remember something strange an idol has done that you might consider rude, chances are its a common practice and not rude at all).   But, isn’t it ignorant to just assume that idols should follow your cultural standards because that’s what you’re used to?  Isn’t it ignorant to assume that they know everything about a culture they may have never even been exposed to other than from tv and movies? Isn’t it ignorant to say that they shouldn’t do something thats a very normal action for them?
It happens where you live too.  People grow up with assumptions of how other cultures live or interact because of how media and films have shown us.  I’m sure you can easily think of times where you’ve seen that and then learned it wasn’t true.  Also, not everyone is from a diverse area.  Some people on here live in big cities with lots of cultures and different types of people surrounding them, but thats not the case in other areas, and even in some countries.  The foreigner rate in Korea is especially low, so interaction with foreigners and knowing their actual way of living isn’t as common as it may be for you to learn in person.
The problem I find with fans of kpop is that they want to like the people and the music and the aesthetic whatever element it may be that draws them in, but they often times neglect educating themselves about the culture in even the slightest. It’s fine to like kpop, its music, its fun, its a great way to begin to experience another culture and another country.  However its not okay to bring your ethnocentrism in it and attack idols based off of what is true in YOUR culture. ALSO Korea is not just filled with kpop or k dramas or whatever… it’s filled with real people like you and me.  How would you feel if someone just thought your country was filled with whoever the most famous celebrity is? Probably pretty annoyed and shitty right? I know I would be annoyed if someone thought America was just Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber ( I know he’s not even American but I wouldn’t want to discuss him with someone else.)
I’m growing kind of bored and tired of reading the same comments and not really seeing anyone mention how……Korea isn’t America.  The world… isn’t America.  The world isn’t western culture.  The world isn’t your country. Every place is different, and your way of living isn’t as true as the person next to you.  All I’m asking is that if you want to say something, be a little bit educated first.  If you want to enjoy an aspect of someone’s culture, fine! But be educated about it and know that its much deeper than just whats on the radio.  
I really typed this out with an open mind and an open heart and would really appreciated no hate asks or whatever you feel like you may need to send me.  This was meant to ask people to be a little more thoughtful on certain subjects and if I failed to mention something I’m sorry and I hope this didn’t upset anyone, I just felt like it needed to be said.
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backfist · 8 years ago
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0-44
bruh
bruh
okay
0:Height - 5 ft 111:Virgin? - yes2:Shoe size - 11.5 - 13 depending on the shoe3:Do you smoke? - no4:Do you drink? - no5:Do you take drugs? - no6:Age you get mistaken for - between 20 and 277:Have tattoos? - no8:Want any tattoos? - def consider it! gotta be meaningful, though9:Got any piercings? - no10:Want any piercings? - probably not? wouldnt suit me11:Best friend? - probably my friend Jacob I’ve known since elementary school, or @say-tonic12:Relationship status - single13:Biggest turn ons - answered this just recently, but i’m a fan of red hair, i do love the curves, good smells, HUMOR, HUMOR, gotta have a similar sense of humor, also dank memes14:Biggest turn offs - cigarette smoking, general uncleanliness, country music15:Favorite movie - 7 pounds16:I’ll love you if - you show me small, cute animals17:Someone you miss - oh gosh so many people, i miss Laine, Jacob, Chris, and so many others ahh18:Most traumatic experience - bruh getting stabbed was pretty bad, although that sounds a bit worse than it was19:A fact about your personality - i’m too sarcastic for my own good20:What I hate most about myself - physically, my belly, personailty wise, i’d say i’m awkward sometimes21:What I love most about myself - physically, my legs or bears, personality wise, i think i’m very compassionate and funny22:What I want to be when I get older - if i had free roam and availability, i’d like to be a voice actor, but what i’m going for right now is to be some sort of physicist. 23:My relationship with my sibling(s) - don’t have any siblings ayyy24:My relationship with my parent(s) - wow that’s a loaded question - sometimes good, sometimes terrible, it’s quite complicated25:My idea of a perfect date - just being relatively alone with the person i’m with, maybe myself cooking for us and just relaxing, going for a walk or just taking a drive to nowhere26:My biggest pet peeves - indecisiveness, chewing with your mouth open, general ignorance lol27:A description of the girl/boy I like - they’’re gorgeous28:A description of the person I dislike the most - literally garbage29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend - because he’s invested in pro gaming an old ninendo game and I’m not about that30:What I hate the most about work/school - getting up so early, although BEING up easily is great31:What your last text message says “omg you’re the worsttt” - from @littytittymanda because i was so kind to send her this exact list lmao32:What words upset me the most - “fresh”, “fried”, and theres others which i cant think of because i just removed them from my vocab lol33:What words make me feel the best about myself - this is a strange question honestly. “fine, handsome” i would say. i’ve always felt strange about being called sexy, maybe i just dont see it34:What I find attractive in women - i like confidence, cute smile, again i love the curves, their laugh, the way that they talk. i mean women are all unique with special qualities and they’re all great c:35:What I find attractive in men - speaking for myself, a defined physique, as in being fit but not overly muscular, good facial hair, well kept. 36:Where I would like to live - maybe stay here in Michigan, or move to Cali, or maybe even Texas lol.37:One of my insecurities - i may be body conifdent, but i still hate how i look overall Dx38:My childhood career choice - wanted to be a phsychologist! wanted to help people’s brains lol39:My favorite ice cream flavor - MANGO SORBET OR COOKIE DOUGH40:Who wish I could be - i want to be Luke Cage, that man is amazing41:Where I want to be right now - in bed, 5 feet away, but if i lay down i’ll fall asleep faster which i really don’t wanna do.42:The last thing I ate - rice, i do love my grains43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - Ryan Gosling, obviously. have you seen that man? he’s a perfect specimen. but shoot, a lot of my followers as sexy as hell44:A random fact about anything - Ben and Jerry’s doesn’t have grape ice cream because through a series of unfortunate events, grape ice cream killed one of their dogs
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crownuponherhead · 8 years ago
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fdajjlfhadjh ✩ for jimmy and lainey
send ‘✩’ for the following:
DISAGREEMENTS:
Who is more likely to raise their voice? lainey does its just her way of balancing how he towers over her. Who threatens to leave but never actually does? I don’t think either of them would after all this. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? neither. Who trashes the house? ainsley lbr when she would throw a fit and like lainey gets super ugh and fixes everything. Do either of them get physical? never How often do they argue/disagree? I think disagreeing is more often than arguing but they rarely fight. Who is the first to apologise? lainey she feels too terrible still. 
SEX:
Who is on top? Who is on the bottom? they probs switch back and fourth a lot they’re young and in love. Who has the strangest desires? i could see lainey being all about him after a game if it ends too late and she’s just like... you can shower later...with me.Any kinks? tbh idk i mean probs but like idk rn. Who’s dominant in bed?  jimmy. Is head ever in the equation? occasionallyIf so, who is better at performing it? I think they both know each other well enough that there isn’t really a whose better kinda thing.Ever had sex in public? they probs fucked in on of their cars in high schoolWho moans the most? lainey Who leaves the most marks? lainey. Who screams the loudest? L A I N E Y. he probs has to cover her mouth sometimes so they don’t wake up ainsley bc they’re having sex what good parents. Who is the more experienced of the two? they’re equal little angels who've only had each other. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? make love but sometimes they fuck. Rough or soft? typically soft. How long do they usually last? I think they make it last bc like its about making up for lost time to them. Is protection used? they learned their lesson in high schoolDoes it ever get boring? no bc they’re in love. Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? hc they have sex in the dugout or something when they come to watch the stars from the  ball field. 
FAMILY:
Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? they have their angel ainsley and more in the future If so, how many children do your muses want/have? I could see lainey being reasonable bc she's been a single parent for so long and is like maybe 1 or 2 more but thats it and jimmy is more like lainey lets have a soccer team. Who is the favorite parent? jimmy bc like ainsley is just so starstruck her daddy is around. Who is the authoritative parent? lainey she got used to it and its hard for her to relax and realize its not just her parenting now. Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? I think lainey would when it comes to going to games and going to visit him when he’s training and jimmy would more to surprise her or lainey. Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? jimmy omg can u just imagine lainey coming home to them eating a dozen donuts and she’s like  ????Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? they’re both at every single event they're so proud and her number one fans. Who goes to parent teacher interviews? they both try to but it’s usually lainey because he’s at a game or getting ready for one during a lot of themWho changes the diapers? Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? jimmy probably does a lot when they have another baby because he didn’t get that with ainsley. Who spends the most time with the children? I think they try to balance it out they love them so much. Who packs their lunch boxes? lainey. Who gives their children ‘the talk’? its a joint conversation where they use themselves as a life lesson of teen pregnancy. Who cleans up after the kids? lainey she hates the house being messy. Who worries the most? lainey she gets anxiety when any of the kids are sick.Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? jimmy he’s around all those baseball players all the time. or tbh one of the players when they’re on the field after a game. 
AFFECTION:
Who likes to cuddle? they both do it’s a really natural thing for them both. Who is the little spoon? lainey. Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? I think it depends on the situation tbh bc they both do a lot. Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? I could see it being jimmy. like just wanting to have her in his arms or like hold her hand just like she's there still. How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? probably awhile because they’re constantly moving and being cute just like trying to be with each other. Who gives the most kisses? jimmy. What is their favourite non-sexual activity? tbh just like simple things. lainey loves when he helps her do things like the laundry or when he helps her cook dinner. and he loves it when she gets involved with what he loves like I feel like ever since they’ve been in high school she’d play baseball with him for fun and he’d get some practice it. tbh just making the other happy Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch or bed.Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? maybe both of them?? I wanna say him but I could see her doing it too. How often do they get time to themselves? not often a lot of times it after Ainsley's gone to bed or someone is watching her. 
SLEEPING:
Who snores? probs jimmy. Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they share a bed and they’re precious. If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? together they spent too long apart. Who talks in their sleep? I could see lainey talking in her sleep. What do they wear to bed? lainey probs wears his t shirts and a pair of socks and he probs is a shirtless sleeper but maybe I just like kJ’s abs. Are either of your muses insomniacs? lainey is when ainsely’s sick for sure. Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? I don’t think so. Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? they curl together they’re so in love. Who wakes up with bed hair? jimmy. Who wakes up first? lainey so she can make breakfast. Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? I can see jimmy doing it for lainey on random days like to treat her. What is their favourite sleeping position? spooning with room in their bed for ainsley if she has a nightmare. Who hogs the sheets? lainey. Do they set an alarm each night? lainey does for sure. Can a television be found in their bedroom? I think so like so they can watch movies and cuddle in bed. Who has nightmares? lainey has nightmares about ainsley being sick they’re repetitive and she’s had them since ainsley was a baby and jimmy just calms her down when she has them and walks with her to Ainsley’s bedroom to prove she's okay and lainey falls back to sleep. Who has ridiculous dreams? jimmy. Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? jimmy. Who makes the bed? lainey. What time is bed time? it varies. Any routines/rituals before bed? lainey moves all the decorative pillows to a chair on the side. Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? jimmy when he wake sup to Lainey’s alarms. 
WORK:
Who is the busiest? lainey. she’s got school, work, and still has old habits of being a single mom. Who rakes in the highest income? jimmyAre any of your muses unemployed? I think lainey probably is for awhile when they move. Who takes the most sick days? lainey. she takes a sick day anytime ainsley’s sick.  Who is more likely to turn up late to work? jimmy. lainey is too precise. Who sucks up to their boss? tbh jimmy. What are their jobs? jimmy is a mlb player and lainey is trying to be a nurse. Who stresses the most? L A I N E YDo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? jimmy loves his, lainey knows she had to do this to provide for ainsley so jimmy could follow his dreams. Are your muses financially stable? together yes. 
HOME:
Who does the washing? lainey. Who takes out the trash? jimmy. Who does the ironing? lainey. Who does the cooking? lainey with his help sometimes. Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? I don’t think either of them are. Who is messier? jimmyWho leaves the toilet roll empty? jimmyWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? ainsley and jimmyWho forgets to flush the toilet? Ainsley. Who is the prankster around the house? oohhhh Idk. Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? lainey Who mows the lawn? jimmy. Who answers the telephone? omg does anyone have landlines???Who does the vacuuming? I think they take turns. Who does the groceries? laineyWho takes the longest to shower? laineyWho spends the most time in the bathroom? lainey
MISCELLANEOUS:
Is money a problem? for lainey when they aren’t together yes. when they’re together no. How many cars do they own? two probs, Lainey’s old Jeep Liberty and whatever jimmy drives. Do they own their home or do they rent? Lainey’s house is rent free and an old family home that her great aunt and great uncle built and wanted to keep in the family. you know one that is completely payed off besides utilities. Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? I mean like they’re a good 3 hours from the ocean. Do they live in the city or in the country? suburbs/city. Do they enjoy their surroundings? I think its a nice balance of being what they grew up in but away from their small town. What’s their song? god they’re so cheesy it’s probs some Taylor Swift song from when she still did country. What do they do when they’re away from each other? they try not to be away from each other after they get back together. when they are theres a lot of FaceTime. Where did they first meet? I mean small town probs like elementary schoolHow did they first meet? romantically their best friends were dating and made them double date. Who spends the most money when out shopping? lainey probably does but its mostly on Ainsley. Jimmy probably has to talk her to getting something for herself a lot. Who’s more likely to flash their assets? jimmy. Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Jimmy. Any mental issues? lainey gets anxiety from ainsley’s chronic asthmaWho’s terrified of bugs? ainsleyWho kills the spiders around the house? lainey does she got used to it. Their favourite place? the ball field at their old high school . Who pays the bills? lainey wants to be independent bc she left him not the other way but jimmy sneaks around her a lot. Do they have any fears for their future? lainey is scared he’ll get tired of her. jimmy is scared she’ll leave again. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? jimmy. Who uses up all of the hot water? lainey. Who’s the tallest? jimmyWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? jimmy. Who wanders around in their underwear? lainey does in their room. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? lainey. What do they tease each other about? old things they did in high school that they cringe about now. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? laineyDo they have mutual friends? yeah old high school friends. Who crushed first? they both did. Any alcohol or substance related problems? no. Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? they would together on date nights. Who swears the most? jimmy. 
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kathryncalls · 8 years ago
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springboarding out of the friend zone
Yes, terrible title I know, but theres something I need to type out, something I need to air. Now I write this, it’s so horrendously typical but I’m still typing so lets see whether I can answer my own questions by writing it out. I feel like everyone else on the internet writes stuff that no one ever reads and it helps, so now its my turn.
I am so confused but so happy but so worried about getting my hopes up. Earlier I said that I’m so excited that I’m almost scared, and I know it’s because it’s too good to be true! You’re you and I still don’t know what that means. But you’ve been this ideal thing that I’ve always pushed aside in my mind, wanted to text because I just love speaking to you but have forced myself not to because we’re too good friends. Never in my life have I suppressed feelings because I genuinely couldn’t lose someone. If this weekend would never have happened then I don’t think I would’ve ever said anything. I know I’ve said 100 times that I don’t like her, but at the end of the day, if she was making you happy then I’m ok with that. It made me happy to hear you say that you were cutting the strings with her, I feel like you really do want me, which is so cool, honestly, it’s so surreal, and it’s stupid to say it’s surreal because surely surreal is going into freaking space, I don’t know it feels stupid to call it that either way. You told me how attractive you found me last night, which was adorable, I like that side of you, and I want to see more of it, but I’m still finding it weird. I want you be with you so much, and its something that Ive known would make me happy for a long time but it’s truly something that I’ve suppressed for years which feels weird to say, but I think that’s why I’m finding it weird to call you something less personal and stuff like that, and also to tell you how attractive I find you and what exactly I love about you. Ok, another thing, this is weird because at this point, we should be finding out about each other and getting to know one another, not telling you what I love about you, but because I’ve classed you as my friend for at least 18 months, I feel like we’ve jumped ahead 3 months… Its weird, I want you to take me on a date, but I don’t because its you, its us, but our first date would be so funny, so much fun, you make me laugh, you bring out the worst in me and your bring out the best, you make me happy to be me which is quite something. With him I felt like I was being someone that I was telling myself I wanted to be a little bit. He didn’t treat me like I wanted to be, but I held on and Im not sure why to be honest. I like to be treated like a princess, lets not lie, but I don’t like to be pandered too, I like to be strong in myself, I don’t want to be a house wife (that wasn’t a proposal, hypothetically) but at the same time, I want to cook you a nice meal for when you finish work, or iron your uniform whilst youre in the shower so you don’t have too. Im not a chocolates and flowers girl, Im a leave a note somewhere kind of girl, send me something that reminds me of us. I like to be a real unit with whoever I dedicate myself too, and I really do, when I dedicate myself to someone, now I know that you don’t do clingy, and I might end up coming across that way, its linked to the whole, me sounding pessimistic thing. I’m really really not feeling negative about any of this. I just do not want to screw it up, I can’t, for so many reasons! I can’t lose you as a friend regardless of what happens romantically between so I need to be careful how I tread here because I’m not prepared to lose you. See as I write that and think about it, maybe this is a bad idea because youre not as worried about our friendship as I am, you don’t seem to have these worries which could be such a bad sign, but at the same time, maybe its because you know exactly what you want? Another thing, you’ve told me multiple times that you’ve cheated before, never anything too serious but still, I cant cope with anyone doing that to me, let alone you, how am I supposed to maintain a friendship post breakup if you do that to me, I almost don’t want to give you the chance too…
Another thing. Distance. Realistically, we’ve both done long distance, and you say that the reason you cheated on her was because she wasn’t right, but you didn’t know that to start with, but now youre so sure, which is amazing, and I love that you think I’m right and that this is right, I agree so much, but again, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. ah shit I hate this feeling. And I keep having this argument with myself about whether its perfect or awful timing so here, pros and cons.
Great timing: You’re about to come home from spending 18 months in Spain, you’re not gonna be living at home, you’re probably going to be in London, you’ve got a job, you’re basically set
Awful timing: youre about to start your career, I’m about to move away from London, I’m about to go back into training, you might be miles away from London, our timetables might not match up
If you haven’t already got the jist, I am not letting this end sourly.
ah shit.
Anyway, finally, why I think you’re great: very intelligent, mature but immature, sociable, lovable, loved by mother, confident, amazing sense of humour, understands my love for the arts, cheeky, emotional, genuine, incredible gentleman and so so sexy, I don’t care how cringe it is, no ones gonna read this
we’re apart for valentines day too, which is weird because thatd be a great first date for us.. so do I send a card as a cute little joke, a serious card, or do I not even mention it? You know how much I want you to make all the first moves, I want to be asked out on date, I wanted to be kissed first, I want to be told I’m loved first ( a long way down the line)
Basically I just want to be excited about this and not have a million reasons why we cant do this cross my mind
we can do this,
no one is stopping us
theres no one to look over our shoulders when its just us, we live in the same town so visiting family together and Christmas wouldn’t be an issue
ahh stop taking everything so seriously, I try and run before I can walk, I think that’s where all the making the first move thing comes from, I don’t know
right now the best thing I could think to be doing is just isolating ourselves, running off to a city somewhere and submerging ourselves, without people watching, like you said, without people wondering why we look so happy, why I laugh at everything you say, why we lock eyes and pause for a little too long, (that’s another thing, when we went for lunch that time at Christmas, we kept locking eyes for just a few seconds too long, and please, I put a fucking dress on for you, you wore a suit, could’ve been taken as signs but I genuinely think we both, well I know for me this is the case, but I reckon we’ve deeply suppressed stuff for so long)
Ok ok, you wanna know when it really hit me that I wanted you for real… when you told me about A. Honestly. You’ve always been the one I’ve thought about when I felt shit in a relationship or when I’m alone, I mean please, ask K, he was sick of hearing about you no doubt, but I did love being with K before things got really hard, but that night when you told me about A in the pub, you know me so well, that ive no idea how you didn’t literally hear my heart sink. but again, supressed to and opted for ‘tell me more’.
I wish I could talk to you about all this, but its been a week since we kissed, that’s all, and 2 weeks ago you wanted to be single for a few years and now you want to be with me, easy for you to say when youre alone in a room in spain, homesick, will you say that when you move in with the boys and meet all the air hostesses, why the fuck do I think I can trust you? do I really think I can change you? like really? I want to think that youll dedicate yourself to me but I CANT LOSE YOU, I hope you understand how much this is paining me
you really don’t know this side of me, ive kept it from you on purpose
if I lose you I have no one
look who I turned too when I split up with H, and again with J and with K. you.
Who do I turn to when its you I split up with? Also, a huge part of my just wants a nice house out of the city where we can live together, with a puppy just us, but that's in the future...
Just come home Ben
(if anyone is still reading this, please, do share your thoughts - a very confused 20yo)
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cynthiadshaw · 5 years ago
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What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?
Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story.  These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead.  As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed.  Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?
Liz | Account Specialist and Stylist
The most important thing I have learnt in my journey so far is to “never let anything stop you from been happy, it is the best fuel you can give to your mind and body. Always stay strong & positive. You got this!”
@Liz__vintage
Caroline Brito | Exchange student from Brazil & Musician
We are never alone. God is always on our side and he sends other people to help us just as he sends us to help others people too.
@carolinebbrazil
  Hugo Gonzalez | medication aide
The most important lesson I’ve learned on my journey so far is to have goals set out for yourself and not to be “”stuck”” in just one spot in life. I say that because one should always want to grow as a person and want to be better than what they were the day before. What I would tell others is don’t give up .. anything is possible. All you need is God, patience, and determination to reach your goals. A little motivation goes a long way.
@_hugogonz
Danielle Bateman | Color Specialist @ Avalon Salon
The most important lesson I have learned so far as a hair stylist is it’s not just hair or a job. The clients that sit in your chair don’t just come to get highlights or a blowdry. They come because they care about how you make them feel; it’s about helping someone see potential and the beauty in themselves. It’s not about coming to work, making the money and going home. It’s about the sad face and the hug they give you when they walk in the door after a hard day and seeing them walk out with a smile on their face. There’s no feeling like knowing you brightened up someone’s day by making them feel good about themselves.
@danidoeshair_
Meredith Bramblett | Health and Fitness Coach
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey is to not allow my fears or doubts dictate my actions. I spent a long time questioning my ability to be a fitness coach, but when I decided to step out in faith and trust the Lord despite my feelings, I have been able to walk in freedom to help people live healthier and more fulfilling lives!
@meredith_bramblett
Will Bramblett | Financial Advisor
The most important lesson I have learned in building my wealth management practice would have to be overcoming the fear of failure and rejection. Leaving a salaried position with benefits to building a business where nothing is guaranteed can be intimidating since only about 5% of financial practices make it to the 5 year mark. And the fact I was starting at 23 years old probably didn’t help my odds either. I decided early on that failure would not be an option. I decided then that I would not only build one of the most successful practices in the United States, but I would do it before I am 30.
When I started, I put a list of 500 names and numbers of everyone I had every met in my life and called every single one asking for the opportunity to work with them as their family advisor. Many of them said no, but that didn’t faze me and I pressed on. Even if they didn’t want to do business together, who did they know that might? I would take meetings 7 days a week from 6:00am-9:00pm, whatever it took to get my practice off the ground. When I finally lifted my head up after a year, I had over 150 clients across 16 different states, was awarded Rookie Advisor of the Year, asked to be a keynote speaker at Northwestern’s Annual Planning Day speaking over mindset and vision, and was in the process of hiring my first assistant.
Many people let the fear of failure and rejection hinder them from accomplishing great things and that is a shame. Only through failure and rejection can you find success, they are just stepping stones along the way.
@WillBramblettNM williambramblett.nm.com
Gabby Juarez | Self Taught Makeup Artist
I’ve been doing makeup for about 2 years now, which is crazy because it feels like no time has passed. But, one of the really important things I’ve learned on my journey so far is to always do things that make me happy. It’s so easy to see the makeup trends and re-create a specific look or stick to one specific style. But, I’ve found that it’s more gratifying to just sit down and not have a plan in mind. True art is not something that’s been done and re-created it’s something that you’re proud of, that you’ve created, and that’s totally original.
@grabby_patty YouTube: Grabby Patty Network
Bianca Brown | Dfw hair colorist
Spencer Brown
Being in the industry over 8 years, I think the most important lesson I’ve learned so far would be that you can never learn enough or try too many times. The hair industry is ever changing, theres ALWAYS something new to learn and something new to try. I try to keep an open mind when observing new technique and how I can incorporate it with fundamentals so I can give my clients everything they deserve! I love learning and I’m very fortunate that I pursued a career that allows me to fulfill my need to be creative while being challenged all at the same time. I will definitely admit, it wasn’t easy starting out, but you just have to keep at it and one day it just clicks!
@hair_by_bianca_slp @HairByBiancaAtSalonLapage
Jasmin Little (Sunnie) | Nail Technician
Believe in yourself, and always be confident, Never look at someone else’s success and feel less about yours, You can’t build your castle looking at someone else’s empire.
@Sunnie_Nails 469-615-6564
Maria Alquicira | Manager  | Painter
“Often, we hear people encouraging us to “go out of our comfort zone”, but we barely pause to realize that it’s not something spontaneous, it’s a process, an intrinsic part of life just as adaptation and survival.
An actor who then decided to become a scriptwriter, was dismissed by Robert Greene with the phrase ¨Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None”. This unknown guy named William was judged for not sticking to one thing to master it. Who would know that a couple of playwrights after, Shakespeare would become such an influence.
This phrase has resonated in me and is the best summary of my greatest lesson in the last couple of years.
Studying different majors, collaborating in different projects, working on different fields, moving to different towns are processes that can make us feel lost but at the same time is an opportunity to question if that frustration is nurtured by society’s paradigms that people will do better by focusing solely in one thing. Specially in an environment called life which is the less predictable scenario.
Change means movement and movement means we are being brave enough to establish our objectives and humble enough to redirect our paths to achieve them. It means we are learning from the challenges we face while implementing our previous knowledge that is leading us to what I believe is the human’s ultimate goal; improvement.
I´ve learnt to be brave enough to set high goals and humble enough to redirect my path to achieve them. I´ve learnt that there is no failure on trying but on being static. I´ve learnt to go out there and make mistakes, go back to my starting point if needed, make a pause, analyze, plan again and move forward.”
mtalch16.wixsite.com/alquicirafineart Social Media: @alquicirafineart
KaDeshia Anderson | Boutique Owner of Pretty and Poised & Show Producer
The most important thing that I have learned in my journey this far is God’s timing! Everything you go through small or big is a testimony, don’t let the no’s or the uninterested interfer with your vision. Keep going keep pushing it will all be worth it in the end!
beprettyandpoised_
Charlotte Hardie Photography | Portrait photographer
The most important lesson I have come to appreciate is to enjoy every moment in my life. and how I did this was through learning what the world has to offer. I started of working in travel and it inspired me to capture what I was seeing through my travels, people, culture, History and breathtaking scenery. I wanted to keep making memories for myself and wanted to keep enjoying them through my photos.
During one of my travels I met my husband and moved to the USA, we now have 3 beautiful children. I take portrait photography now and I love taking portraits as I also want to capture those precious memories for my family and clients.
I do not take anything for granted and I keep appreciating what I have in my life.
@pages/category/Photographer/Charlotte-Hardie-Photography @charlotte.hardiephotography
Sasha McClanahan | Owner of DEMI NATURALS
The biggest lesson that I’ve learned is to not compare my business with others. I focus on perfecting my own craft, goal setting, and improving my business everyday. As long as you are progressing, you are working towards meeting a goal.
deminaturals.com etsy.com/shop/deminaturals @deminaturals @deminaturals
Jasmine Anwer | Architecture & Commercial Photographer
Shot by Jasmine Anwer Styled by Lisa Kasberg
While it’s hard to point to one example that shows it, the most important lesson that I have learned along the way is to treat every job like it’s the most important. I spent my free time creating a portfolio and building my confidence in order to cater to my clients needs. However, by treating each job and each client like they were the most important gig I had worked on, I was able to build relationships and expand my portfolio. Because of that, some of those clients and photos became instrumental in shaping the future of my career.
jasmineanwerphotography.net @jasmineaphoto
Eric J | Singer | Songwriter | Musician, & Producer
The most important lesson that I have learned is that you have to know your own worth. We were made to be ourselves. No one else can show you how to make yourself happy. So go out & live. Surround yourself with people that challenge you & make life memorable. Dream big, Work harder!!!! That’s my slogan & I hope to continue making my dreams a reality all!!!
linktr.ee/ericjmusic
Leigh Breunig | Jewelry Designer
This journey has taught me infinitely more about who I am created to be. I am a dreamer, feeler, creator and having a forum to express myself has led to a brighter version of myself — one I have more confidence in, more understanding of, more grace for. I am thankful for the space to grow.
@leighbreunigdesigns
Nykol Harris | Actress | Model and Dancer
@zarah1110
The most important lesson I learned on my journey is to trust the process and be patient because as long as you believe in yourself and never give up the universe has no choice but to give what you have been putting out and working for.
@NykolHarris
Lindsay Burkhart | Social Content Creator
I have learned that staying patient is one of the keys to great success, and to always remember to be yourself because the payoff is always so much greater. In my position it can be difficult to stay in your lane and trust yourself with your ideas. Every time I do end up going with my plan of action it honestly has always either ended up with great results or I learned something from it and became better. I truly believe that life is all about improving yourself to become a better person, a harder worker, a better friend, etc. Identifying your goals and working hard to achieve them, but not losing yourself in the process is always a tough lesson to pass but it’s not impossible. I like to look back every so often at the work I have accomplished in my job or in my personal creatives and see the growth that has happened, the lessons I did learn from trying something new, but most importantly knowing that I never once changed myself in order to get there.
@lindsay.burkhart
Lacy Studdard | Salon Owner and Hairstylist
The most important lesson to learn for me being a stylist and salon owner is that you have to create boundaries. I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years, and being self employed, you have to hustle at first if you want to make it. Success can sometimes come at the expense of time with family and friends that you can’t get back. You’ve got to switch gears at some point. For me, that looks like working less late nights and weekends so I can spend time with my family. I still accommodate those clients I love and have built relationships, I love my job!
thebungalowsalon.com @lacystuddard_hair
SARAH BRIGGS | Entrepeneur | Jewelry Designer
I’ve learned countless lessons in my journey and one prevails no matter how much I pursue others. I had a mentor who passed away. I was talking to her in my mind one day, wondering what my next step in trying to scale should be. It was as if she spoke to me and her answer was clear as day, “it doesn’t matter darling, just enjoy your life”. Let go right now of what you think success is supposed to be. Decide for yourself and don’t forget to add in family, balance + giving to that equation.
@sarahbriggsjewelry  sarahbriggs.com
D.H. Jonathan | Author and Art Model
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to not just sit back and wait for something to happen. Take control of what you want. Go after the big job, write and publish that novel, take that trip you’ve always wanted to take.
dhjonathan.com
John Wannamaker | Co-Founder & Chef at WannaEat Seafood
We all eat in order to live and food is an universal connector of people. I’ve learned we must continually find a new way to reach the people we want to feed. Starting out, we made many mistakes and found every platform doesn’t need your money or attention. Good food and good service will make a way for you.
WannaEat Seafood is a fusion of Caribbean and Southern cooking. We are catering leading up to the opening of our quick serve brick and mortar location.
wannaeatseafood.com
Jacilyn Tucker | Wedding Planner
The most important lesson I’ve learned so far as a wedding planner is that building and maintaining vendor relationships are key! They are a must! Of course it’s good to have your preferred vendor’s list together, but to know more than your “dream team” is crucial. I enjoy having a variety of vendors to priovide my clients with, depending on their budget and style preference. How I build these relationships are attending networking events, making a presence on social media marketing groups and coordinating styled shoots! When planning styled shoots, I often reach out to vendors that I look up to, that I’ve yet to work with, to jump start our relationship. From there I try to refer business to one another to maintain that rapport. In this industry, referrals really go a long way, and while I get some from friends, family and past clients – majority of them come from those friend-ors!
@NothingButLoveWeddingAndEvents @NothingButLoveWeddingsAndEvents
Zach Woodie | World Wanderer & Techie
@jamesdeangonzales
The most important lesson I have learned is to never stop exploring. There is always something new to see out there.
@zwoodie @zwoodie
Truitt Rogers | Photographer | Owner of Truitt Photographics
So much has changed in the field of photography since I started in 1976 (that’s really weird to realize because I don’t often think of how long I’ve been a photographer I just enjoy it so much) so much has changed. I’ve had to adapt to the new digital way of doing things. Most of which I’m really grateful for. I love not having to mess with chemicals in the darkroom, the better image quality and the total control I have over every detail of the my images. I’ve had to embrace the changes and adapt to a whole new way of creating and I’ve had new ways of creating images opened to me that I never dreamed of. So the lesson learned is embrace changes because they are going to come and seize the opportunities they offer.
truittphoto.com @truittphotographics
Conni Redding | Management consulting recruiter & soon to be full-time Minnesotan
Conni Redding
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is to find your niche. I combined my love for food and hip hop / rap music (all of my captions come from music lyrics), and I turned it into an instagram that offers unique content.
@forkwithme_
Kacee Anderson | Portrait and Lifestyle Photographer
Photography has taught me how to read people quickly and win them over. Sometimes kids (or even adults) come into pictures tired, nervous, or stressed out. I’ve learned the art of diffusing those situations. I want families to walk away with photos that stay true to who they are while bringing out their absolute best.
Seniors and couples often come to me with little experience in front of the camera aside from a quick smile. I find these groups can be especially nervous. Putting people at ease is important so I can get them the fun, silly, romantic, or timeless photos they’re looking for. It starts with helping them select a location and style that will best represent them. But even if meet a dozen different clients at the same location, every single one of them will have a unique experience. My job is to learn who you are and capture that through lens.
KaceeAndersonPhotography.com @KaceeAndersonPhotography @KaceeAndersonPhotography
David Kozlowski | Freelance Photographer
The biggest lesson that I have learned, came early in my career. Shoot for myself and don’t base my photography on online comments about the images. I rarely shoot from a shot list and most of my sales come from requests for use of existing photos.
@texas.photographer
The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.
source http://voyagedallas.com/2020/02/24/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/
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worldwrestlingfanatic · 6 years ago
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Classic Review: WrestleMania 20
Its been awhile since the last time I posted, I'm sorry for that. I've been sidetracked with finding work and lame adult stuff like that but I'm back now with this review, a fastlane prediction post sometime next week and I'm sure I'll have another review up sometime next week as well. This WrestleMania is one of my personal favorites, it's not like this is a fantastic wrestling show from start to finish but this has so many great "wrestlemania moments" that make me feel nostalgic with the ruthless aggression era being my favorite era in the companies history.
Big Show (C) vs. John Cena
The crowd was super hot for Cena during his run with the rapper gimmick and during this time is probably the peak of that heat. The match wasn't anything incredible but we got a pretty neat Cena promo before the match started to get the crowd hyped so at least there was that. This match was just mostly Big Show flexing his strength throwing Cena around and overpowering him. The end comes when the referee has his back turned, Cena hits Show with brass knucks then hits him with an FU and picks up the win. This was the first wrestlemania where Cena had a match and in his Mania match debut he picks up the United States championship.
Booker T & RVD (C) vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs. La Résistance
An underlying theme of this show was overbooking multi man matches for the sake of getting as many people booked on a wrestlemania card as possible. I couldn't tell you one memorable thing Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak ever did as a team and I totally forgot RVD and Booker T ever being a tag team until I rewatched this show. I dont mind multi man matches if everyone can really participate and it still be entertaining, I'll never complain about something being entertaining no matter the circumstances, but that wasn't the case. In an overall uneventful match Booker T & RVD win, retaining their tag team titles.
Christian vs. Chris Jericho
It took until the third match on the card but we got a really solid match. Also a slight side note, this event Jericho wears one of my favorite wrestling attires ever so if 2k wants to sell copies of their next game definitely make this attire Chris Jericho (Retro) attire or a side attire. But, I really enjoyed this match, but this is nothing new since Jericho and Christian would feud for a little while after this and they would continue to have some entertaining matches. Trish would end up making an interference but she doesn't really come in play until after the match. Christian ends up getting the win tonight and Trish turns heel by smacking Jericho twice and follows Christian up the ramp and laying on a French kiss on him.
Randy Orton, Batista & Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley & The Rock
This was a pretty "middle of the road" kind of match for me. It wasn't boring but I wasn't overly entertained, it's like they did just enough to keep my attention. The evolution squad of Orton, Batista and Flair get the win tonight which is odd since they got the Rock back just for this match. If they did this match today, it would be a no brainer that Foley and Rock would win. Part timers at Mania almost never lose especially since the feud would continue to the next pay per view. The main feud going into this match was Foley vs. Orton by the way. Looking forward, a loss tonight and a loss at Backlash the next month made Orton look great but it didn't really do much to make Foley look like a real threat.
Torrie Wilson & Sable vs. Miss Jackie & Stacy Keibler
(Playboy Evening Gown Match)
This match was a perfect example of the relationship between WWE and its female talent at the time. A tag team match between four half naked woman (hence the evening gown stipulation) and the match (from bell to bell) was under 3 minutes. As a male it intrigues me but as a wrestling fan it disgusts me. Its like fighting with myself to determine if I enjoyed what I was seeing or not. This match was a result of all these woman wanting to be that months cover of playboy, Torrie and Sable got the cover and Jackie & Stacy didn't so they were upset and had a match. Torrie and Sable ended up getting the win here but this feud was over two woman being upset because they didn't get to pose naked for a magazine sooooo.
Chavo Guerrero (C) vs. Akio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Ultimo Dragon vs. Billy Kidman vs. Funaki vs. Nunzio vs. Shannon Moore vs. Tajiri
If it seems like theres too many people in this match, it's because there is too many people involved in this match. This was like a gauntlet match, it started with two people in the ring and when someone got pinned, they would go to the back and the next superstar would come in. The twist here is that the superstars wouldn't run to the ring when it was their time to come out because while two superstars were competing the other superstars were surrounding the ring like a lumberjack match. They mentioned on commentary that this was supposed to be a one on one between Chavo and Rey but because of unexplained reasons eight other people were added to the match. No two competitors went at it for more than five minutes anyway so I'm convinced a one on one match would have been infinitely more entertaining especially since the last two superstars in this match ended up being Chavo and Rey anyway. Chavo ended up winning due to interference by his dad (Chavo Classic) and he retains his cruiserweight championship.
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
(Special Referee - Stone Cold Steve Austin)
This match is one reason why this wrestlemania is remembered. That's only because of how uneventful and disappointing this match was. Word got out that both of these guys would be leaving WWE after this show and the crowd let them hear their disappointment. Brock was leaving to pursue a career with the NFL and I dont remember why Goldberg decided to leave but its possible that he just wanted to step away from the wrestling business for awhile. This match was pretty much these two staring at each other from across the ring and putting each other in rest holds the whole time. Goldberg ended up picking up the victory and Lesnar gave double middle fingers to the crowd. The most entertaining part of this match was Steve Austin delivering stunner to both men, what a way to send both guys out.
Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (C) vs. The APA vs. The Bashams vs. The Worlds Greatest Tag Team
Just like with Raws tag team title match we've got SmackDown doing the same exact thing with their tag team title match. I will say this match was better than the previous tag team fatal four way we saw earlier in the night and it was shorter. Everyone got their stuff in and it was faster paced because it didn't get as much time. It wasn't overly entertaining but it was serviceable. I absolutely love the tag team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas so seeing them lose was a bit of a disappointment because they're both legitimately great workers and it would've done great for them and the image of the titles. However Rikishi and Scotty ended up winning and retaining here tonight. The crowd didn't react much but I can only assume at this point they're burnt out on all the multi man matches plus this match had to follow Brock and Goldberg.
Victoria (C) vs. Molly Holly
(If Molly loses she must have her head shaved bald)
At least this show had a womans title match is about all I can say. I didn't hate this match, it just didn't do anything for me. Which is a perfect summary of every womans match during the ruthless aggression era, I think. I like Victoria, I think she was one of the few female talents in WWE at this time who had an entertaining character and could also carry someone to at least a mediocre match. This match was close to seven minutes in length which is pretty generous for womans match around this time. Victoria picked up the win here, retaining her title and shaving Molly's head at the top of the stage.
Eddie Guerrero (C) vs. Kurt Angle
Its been awhile but we finally get a super entertaining wrestling match on the show but with Eddie and Kurt you've just gotta know that you're gonna see something special. Two guys who really have a love for what they do and a willingness to always push the limits to put on a great match. I dont think this is even they best match they've had, I've seen some old SmackDown shows were I think they've had better matches but I for sure dont wanna take anything away from this match, this was awesome. Eddie ends up retaining after slipping out of his boot when Kurt had the angle lock locked in and off the distraction Eddie got the win. Its matches and superstars like this that made the ruthless aggression era so special to me, not even the era, its performances like this and so many more during this time that made me make a special place in my heart for wrestling/WWE and it's why I dont think I'll ever have it in me to just give up on wrestling.
The Undertaker vs. Kane
This match was short but entertaining. This was a wrestlemania undertaker match that went under ten minutes so that came as a bit of a shock, especially against Kane with the history they have. No "mind blowing" or overly entertaining moments but it was straight and to the point and because of that I can appreciate it for what it was. Undertaker got the win over Kane setting his wrestlemania record to 12-0 at the time.
Triple H (C) vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels
This match was the whole reason why I even thought of reviewing this show. Just so I could watch this match. These three guys bring such a different style to the match that when thrown together you knew you were going to get something entertaining. The great heel work of Triple H, the exciting offense of Shawn Michaels and the technical wrestling ability of Benoit. Some would argue that a one on one between Shawn and Triple H would've been a great, and a more deserving way, to main event a wrestlemania but Chris Benoit was incredibly over with the crowd at the time and he had the skill to back up the hype, Benoit wasn't going to be denied. I really feel like these three gave everything they had in this match and it resulted in one of the more memorable wrestlemania moments/matches of all time. WWE would never acknowledge this matches existence, and for good reason I suppose, its just a huge shame that the actions of one man under the influence of performance enhancing substances will forever wipe this match off the record books in the eyes of the WWE. Chris Benoit picked up the win tonight and won his first World Heavyweight championship and he even made Triple H tap out to do it. Yes, Triple H tapped out to Chris Benoit. Say what you will about Triple H but I'll always feel like he always had what's best for the business as a priority over his own personal gain. When Triple H knew a superstars popularity and skill was too much too be denied he didn't mind doing "The job". That was the case in this match. Triple H did the honor of putting over Benoit. It's not like he was going out on injury, he wasn't leaving for any reason, flat out, he did the job and put over the popular, deserving talent. What really made this a wrestlemania moment was Eddie Guerrero meeting Benoit in the middle of the ring after the match and celebrating with him. Eddie retaining his title earlier and Benoit winning his first World title with the confetti falling from the sky, it couldn't have been booked any better, a true feel good moment between two of the greatest wrestlers ever. Unfortunately both men passed away way before their time but with moments like this they'll live forever. I'm glad I got to grow up with this. WWE loves to market a wrestlemania moment nowadays, well for me, it doesn't get better than this. A genuine moment that the fans loved. It's crazy that a scripted event can cause some of the most real emotion a fan can feel.
Pros: Christian vs. Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle, Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
Cons: Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, too many multi man/team matches
I know this show isn't a complete wrestling masterpiece but ultimately what I ask for out of a wrestlemania is the major championship matches to be entertaining and for the show to end on a positive note, and in my opinion, this show succeeds in doing that. Multi man/team matches were a bit annoying and the female talent didn't get the love or appreciation it should've had from the start but I grew up in a time where that was just the norm, all I can do is just appreciate that its different today. In my opinion this wrestlemania had the best end in the wrestlemania history and when it came to Eddie and Benoit I really felt like I was watching two guys live out their dream and as a wrestling fan theres no better feeling than knowing your favorite wrestlers are living out their dream and having a great time doing it.
3/5
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