#theres more i wanna say but my brains broken

[letorip]

kiss with a fist [iii]

"your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same"

===+++===

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: you can't help but feel like maybe you and tara are more than frenemies, and it culminates in a night where you finally share some truths with each other.

warnings: a somewhat traumatic dream sequence lmao, mentions of sex, kissing (almost), curse words, blood

word count: 5.8k

A/N: hope y'all like this one because i definitely liked writing it. definitely a whole lot more kissing than fisting.... wait a minute....

it's 5 am, my ass is grass. anyways, part 4 relatively soon because woo wee theres still so much to explore in this story i legitimately cant believe my idiot self said it'd be done in 2 parts originally

===+++===

===+++===

"(Y/n)," a voice calls to you, sing-song and sweet as your eyes fade to darkness. It's a gentle woman's whisper, but it manages to hit you like a truck, pulling you down from wherever you came from, and plopping you wherever you've arrived. Or, rather, wherever you've always been. "(Y/n), look, darlin'."

A gust of wind gently strokes over the plane of your cheek, and when you open your eyes, all you can see is rye. On one end, it reaches out towards a sharp cliff, overlooking a lake, with nothing but rocks and the water below. On the other, it runs far up the plains of land in front of you, stopping in front of the white house you know all too well, with its rickety porch and broken tire swing.

You take a few steps forward, as if ready to run right inside, and then before you know it, you're running. Like the world is about to end, like the house is burning down, like you'll never see the place ever again. Foot after foot, you dash towards it, hearing Alisha's piano flit through the front window for the first time in years, and the smell of a pie right along with it. "(Y/n)!" the voice calls again. "Dinner time, kid!"—

But your foot catches on a root, just like it did in your memory, and in an instant, you've fallen down into the rye, with a painful thud, right on your face. You let out a grunt, feeling the dirt on your new, white shirt. The one your mother never let you wear when you were playing outside.

And when you right yourself again, sitting up out of the field, the house isn't any closer than it was before. It sits, perfectly far away, only all that stuff is gone now, and the house looks about as dark as it did the day of Mitchie's funeral.

"(Y/n)!" an excited voice calls from behind you. "Wanna play tag?"

"(Y/n)'s too old for that, Mitchie," another voice chides, and you whip around like Calvin would actually be there to chide him like that. Like he used to. But he isn't. All you can see is the rye. It stands in thick stalks, reaching up to your knees in lush groupings, tall and abundant, strong and growing.

Another voice. "Read me a story?" It's soft and it's a little girl's and it's far away, and you get to your feet and spin in a circle, waiting for her to appear. It seemed to reverberate through your ears, washing through the pathways of your brain before seeping into your heart. It fills it up, and before you know it, you can feel yourself hastily searching for her.

"'Randa?" you called into the open field. "Miranda? You there?" but she continues on like she didn't hear you.

"Would you read me a story? Please?"

"I will Miranda, but where are you?" you called back, raising a hand to shield your eyes from the barrel of the hot sun.

"I'm gone, (Y/n). You're supposed to be gone too," she says back, with a sweet giggle. "Why aren't you gone with us?"

"I—" you stammer, whipping your head around the field in search of your siblings. "I don't—"

"Do you really think that's fair, (Y/n)?" Calvin asks.

"Why aren't you here, (Y/n)?" Miranda asks again, this time her voice wavering like she was about to cry. "Why aren't you in the rye with us?" Your hands came up to your head, trying to squeeze your eyes shut and block out the noises, but they seemed to reverberate into your skull.

"Mitchie was your fault, you know," Peter chides. "We would've never let that—"

"—Why did you get to stay, (Y/n)?" Came Tomas' voice. "We're supposed to be cursed, and you're supposed to be cursed too." He was always the quiet one, but now his voice had a sharp edge to it. One of jealousy. One of anger.

"Why didn't you catch me?" Mitchie asked. "If you just would've caught me..."

"Come play piano with me, I'll teach you," said Alisha, in her light, airy laugh.

"Why did it get to be you?" snarled Calvin. "And why are you getting closer to Tara? You want to curse her, too?"

"Stop—" you stammered, squeezing your eyes shut tighter.

"Wanna play hopscotch?" said Mitchie.

"Do you miss us, (Y/n)?" Alisha said, in between tears.

"Yes, of course— I—" you tried, but now the voices were filling up your head, threatening to spill over and knocking you to the ground. You curled up into a ball as your brain filled up. Words piling up on top of words, piling up on top of words, about to split you open. "STOP!" you yelled.

And everything went silent. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself still in the field, but your siblings' voices had gone entirely. Now it was just you, in the field, alone with the rustling of the wind and the rye, as it grazed gently against your legs. You hadn't remembered standing up, but you were now.

In a flash, you could see a shape, running through the rye in a line that was very visible from where you were. You recognised the dark hair, and the yellow jacket he always wore. With the realisation came the looming dread, and you realised with very little time left what this exactly was a memory of.

You took off running, faster than you had to the house, faster than you had ever run, and faster than you had run then, chasing after him as he took off towards the cliff-end of your rye field. "Mitchie!" you yelled, trying to be louder than the buzzing cicadas, but it seemed the moment you yelled, the cicadas got even louder. He was too short to see over the stalks, but you could see him go, running in odd shapes as he got nearer and nearer to the cliffs edge.

"Catch me if you can, (Y/n)!" he called back with a gleeful laugh.

"(Y/n), grab your brother," called your mother. She didn't seem too worried, and she hadn't been, then. No one had been, until it was too late.

"Mitchie! Stop!" you cried out, feeling tears already beginning to fall down your cheeks. "Mitchie!" you tried again.

"Come on, you've gotta be faster than that if you're gonna be it!” Mitchie called back. "Catch me! Get me! C'mon! I'm gonna make it hard for you to win, Duck."

"MITCHIE! PLEASE!" you screamed, but all he did was giggle. “STOP! DON’T GO!” But the moment you reached the end of the rye, he was gone over the edge, just he had been when you were 13, and there was an arm shaking you awake.

===+++===

"Oh my god, you're about the least peaceful sleeper I've literally ever seen," Tara laughed, grinning at you from over her textbook. She had it pulled into her lap from her side of the table and titled against the table edge, and spread out in front of you were her papers galore, with notes scribbled all over them in preparation for her upcoming exam.

Mindy sat next to her, playing a stupid game on her phone, while Ethan was also studying in his own textbook. He had stopped trying to avoid you as much, as had Chad. You and Tara "dating" seemed to offend them less and less the longer it went on.

"Uh," you mumbled, still feeling a little bit disoriented from the dream. It was like a dose of adrenaline had been shot directly into your heart, and you struggled to adjust to the calm, peaceful library that actually was around you. "Shut up," you grumbled, but not like you were actually upset by her teasing.

Tara watched you with her eyebrows raised. "You look tired."

You sat up in your chair, running a hand through your hair. There was a small layer of sweat on your forehead. "Aren't you never supposed to say that to someone? Pretty sure that's how you get someone at the bar to throw their drink in your face."

"It is," Ethan nodded. "I made that mistake once. I was trying to be sweet."

"Good thing I'm not seducing you, then," Tara shrugged. "You've seen me puke everywhere. Pretty sure that ruined my chances right-out, and yet you love me anyways."

You grinned, leaning back to stretch out your arms. It was meant to be a gentle teasing from Tara, but you had only gotten better and better at deflecting the longer you were around her. "You'd be surprised, actually. That was super pretty. That was the prettiest you've ever been." Mindy snorted next to Tara.

Tara glared at you, unappreciatively. "And you're pretty when you do not speak."

"I'm pretty all the time, Tara," you mockingly shook your head. "And you think I'm joking. Find yourself a girl who looks nice covered in sweat, with her hair going everywhere, and puking in the toilet. That's my girlfriend."

"You're such a dick," Tara scoffed, but you could tell part of her was stifling a laugh. It was funny to her too, and you both had laughed at it together for days, afterwards.

If anything, it had gotten easier and easier, to act like the both of you were actually dating. You weren't too sure why, maybe Tara had become less annoying, or you had become less annoyed by her, but you had definitely at least become a better actor. That's what it was, after all. "Oh, also," she continued.

"Yeah?"

"Someone tried to call your phone, while you were sleeping. I think it was your dad."

You frowned. "You didn't pick up, right?"

"No," Tara said, shaking her head. Then she paused. She dropped her voice to speak just to you, guarding the conversation from Mindy and Ethan. "Do you and him not get along?"

You shrugged. "Eh. He was probably just checking in. We have a fine relationship." It wasn't true but it was an easy lie, that rolled off the tongue like nothing. He had already called twice, that day, and you knew why.

"Seriously, though," she said with a frown, looking up from her book. "You look fucking horrifying—"

"—Thanks," you said, flatly.

"—I mean, even more than normal, it's crazy—"

"—Thanks," you repeated.

"—Have you not been sleeping, or something?"

You shrugged. "I mean, I'm an architecture major, and it's midterms... so not really."

"Hm."

"What?" you asked, propping your head up on your arm. "What's the 'hm' for?"

She shrugged, trying to turn back to her textbook. "Hm, nothing."

You furrowed your eyebrows down at her. "Well, obviously the 'hm' was something, Tara." Mindy shot you a look again.

"Or it was just a hm."

“Would you two shush,” she said to you, rolling her eyes. “You bicker like an old married couple.” But you both ignored her.

"It's never just a 'hm.'"

"I say hm all the time. It's literally just a hm."

"No, it means you've got something to say but don't want to say it."

She frowned at the accusation but was obviously even more displeased that you were correct. "I was gonna suggest we go to the OBK party tonight, but maybe you should just go home and sleep. I was trying to be nice.”

You shrugged. "I won't be doing either, actually." Tonight was not the night for parties. You were somewhat grateful, that you had a legitimate excuse to busy your time, or else you would've spent even longer thinking about the dream. "I have to do homework. My final is due tomorrow."

Tara furrowed her eyebrows at you. "Wait, but I thought classes ended today."

You shook your head. "Nope. I've still got some stuff do."

"Oh," Tara frowned.

"Not all of us can have easy majors," you teased, trying to lighten the mood away from what was clearly concern.

"Hey! You chose the stupid thing," Tara shot back. "Not my fault I chose something fun." She stood up, gathering her things into a neat stack. The time was nearing for her midterm exam, and you stood up with her, grabbing her textbook to be helpful.

"Thanks," she said, then she wandered over and held out her hand. You grabbed it in yours, lacing your fingers together, just like you had practiced together.

The library was a tall building on the far side of campus from where you lived. It was a trek and a half to get there, which is partially why you had been a little annoyed, when Tara said she needed to go there. It ended up being the perfect place to fall asleep in, with the quiet signs and only a few murmurs now and again, and though it had been a less than peaceful dream, it was more than you had been getting for the past few days.

"I don't see why you can't just go without me," you shrugged, adjusting her book in your hands. "Just tell Sam I'll meet you there. Besides, Chad and Mindy are going to the same party, right?"

"Yeah, but I what if they realise you're not actually there and mention it to Sam, or something? And, I'd have to go there alone, since Chad and Mindy are going early."

"They are?"

"Yeah. Helping with set up. Mindy literally just mentioned that. Shows how much you listen to her.” She shook her head in a mocking disappointment in you.

“I was asleep, jerk.”

“I know,” she said, grinning.

You looked down to her, where she walked next to you, gently swinging your joint hands back and forth. "It's not a far walk to OBK. You could probably make it there in five minutes. It's well-lit, and—"

Tara frowned, shaking her head adamantly. "Not alone. Not without you, no way. Sam would want to see you at the door to pick me up. She'd probably hate the idea of it."

"Fair enough," you shrugged. "Find a movie at home tonight, then. Relax, or something. I'd kill to be done with this stupid project."

"What are you even making?" Tara groaned, breaking your hands to shove hers into her pockets. Actually, it was your jacket, and therefore technically your pockets too, but she had taken a liking to it, after your date. You had been less than pleased, when she asked to borrow it, considering how much the jacket meant to you, but she insisted it was assisting her to keep up the act. You figured you could part with it, at least for a little while.

"Architecture," you said with a thick layer of sarcasm. Tara rolled her eyes at you. She nudged you, and you couldn't help but laugh as her elbow pointed into your side.

"Oh, you think you're funny, huh?"

"I'm hilarious."

"You wish..." she scoffed, shaking her head.

It was a beautiful day in autumn, and the weather was soon to leave the sigh of brown leaves and rainy days and move into whispery winds and icy pavement. You didn't mind winter, but you didn't like the chills, even though it was undoubtedly what gave summer's warmth a certain sweetness. Still, nothing burned like the cold.

You walked her all the way to the door of the exam hall, stopping out front to hand her the textbook you had been carrying. You went to speak, but the moment you tried to open your mouth, your phone started ringing. You grabbed it from your pocket, sighing and declining the call, while Tara stared at you.

"Is that your dad, again?"

"No," you said. "Telemarketer."

"Right..." she said, frowning. "You're a terrible liar."

"Am I?" you challenged. You were, it was true.

"Why don't you want to talk to him?"

“I just don’t.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m asking why, (Y/n).”

"Why don't you leave it alone?" you shot, in frustration. You could see Tara's eyes narrow at your tone, and you felt a bit bad. There was the occasional reflex still, to bite each other's heads off. You weren't sure what it was about her, but something about Tara Carpenter always seemed to rile you up inside, and do the same for her with you.

"Sorry," you said, looking down at your shoes. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"That doesn't mean you have to be an asshole," Tara glared.

"Right... I'm... sorry."

Tara sighed. "I guess I'll see you next week?" She asked.

You nodded. "There'll be plenty of time after this, I just need to get this thing done."

"Okay," she nodded, failing to hide her excitement. Tara seemed to really love parties, the more and more she went to, and you were somewhat glad you could help her find something she enjoyed. It was nice to see, not that you'd ever say that to her. Doing that would absolutely result in her teasing you again, or something even more annoying.

"Good luck on your test," you said.

"Good luck on your project, babe," she said, drawing the name out.

“Now who’s hilarious,” you said with an eye roll. Tara winked at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Me.”

===+++===

It seemed you were having no good luck on it whatsoever, actually. Laid out in front of you was all of your materials, in a messy pile of cut-out pieces and foam boards that were there, sure, but not likely to just jump together and put itself together on its own.

The clock had already ticked away to 12:33 in the morning, and your design was barely finalised to where you could get to work and finish quickly. All of the other students had left at a much more reasonable hour, and it left you standing at your table alone, quietly working to classical music in the empty modelling lab.

At this rate, you could be here for another two or three hours, and the project was due at eight. You were sluggish, slowly working through the plans you had set out days ago and working through the kinks.

Every few minutes, when you stopped for even a second, the dream seemed to rush back to the forefront of your brain. Your mother had been the one to call, that evening while you were eating a poor excuse of a dinner, and you had declined that call just like you had declined all the rest.

You were hunched over your work, probably unhealthily so, with your face buried in your iPad, hastily throwing out sketches of the various shapes. You were settling on a design that would have to do, heading for the woodcutter, when you heard a noise.

It resembled a door shutting, and you froze right where you were. "Greg?" you called out. There was no one else in the building except for you and Greg, at his usual security post, and you waited with bated breath for him to return your call.

But there was no response, and all you could hear was the sounds of classical music gently floating in the background. Usually, it set you at ease while you worked through whatever you were doing in the lab, but now all it did was raise your heart rate to match the increasing tempo. It was completely dark, except for the overhead light above you, which illuminated the table you were working at and a few of the stainless steel cabinets that held tools and supplies.

Then, off to the side, you heard a rolling. An odd, wooden rolling, slowly drifting towards you. On the ground was a pencil, gently pushed towards you, playfully rolling as if perfectly in front of your toes. You hopped to your feet. "Hello?" you called, squinting in the dim light, in case anyone else was there. "Is anyone there?" you called out again. "Greg?"

Now you could really feel the thumping of your heart. The modelling lab had always been creepy late at night, but this was a new level of unease. It was as if someone was watching you, playing with their food, and you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "Is someone there?" you said to the rest of the room.

"Hey!" said a voice, and you jumped what felt like five feet into the air.

"Fuck!" you shouted, spinning around and seeing Tara behind you. She jumped at your reaction, raising her hands up. In one of them was a tray with two coffees on it. “You scared me!”

"Woah, woah, are you okay?" she asked, face etched with concern. She walked towards you slowly, and you put your hands on the edge of the table, trying to calm yourself.

"Don't just sneak up on me like that, dude," you glared at her.

"I literally didn't, I fucking announced myself, loud as can be," Tara said, rolling her eyes at you. Then, it melded into concern. "How long have you been here?" she asked, looking around the place and its emptiness.

"Since I left you at your test," you shrugged. "How'd it go by the way?" Tara's eyebrows furrowed, ignoring your question instead for one of her own.

"Did you at least eat dinner, or something?"

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Good."

“Yeah…,” you trailed off, turning back to your work. “How did you know where I was?"

“I asked Chad. He’s still a little snippy with me about, well, thinking we're together. Tried to tell me that if anyone would know, it would be me, and I said, yeah, that’s true, but it’s only been three months, now.”

“Well,” you said, gesturing around to the lab. “This is the modelling lab.” You were a bit of a nerd about the whole place, showing it off like it was your cool superhero lair.

“I know,” Tara mocked. “I saw it on the giant sign above the front door.”

“Ha ha. Does Sam know that you’re here?” You asked, grabbing your pen and resuming your work while you continued to talk to Tara. She plopped herself down on the edge of the table, letting her feet swing.

She looked a bit sheepish at the question. “Uh… no.”

“You know she’ll kill me like she did that one time, if you’re not home when she wakes up,” you frowned, wandering over to the supplies and grabbing out a box cutter to help trim the pieces you needed.

Tara nodded. “I know. But I snuck out, so I’ll sneak back in.”

You turned back around to reply, maybe say something stupid, but you had to stop yourself from laughing, when you saw her legs hanging off the counter and not reaching the ground.

“What?” Tara asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head and returning to the table. “…Dwarf.”

“Hey!” she said, smacking you on the arm. “I brought you coffee, don’t make me take it back.”

“That’s true,” you frowned, weighing your options. “Guess I can’t make fun of you; you brought me caffeine.”

“That’s more like it."

You worked in silence for a few minutes, feeling Tara watch your every movement. It was harder to work, under her scrutiny, but you were grateful that she was there. It wasn’t lonely in there, any more. A few months ago, you would’ve hated her guts for sitting around while you attempted to work. But not with Tara anymore. Not on that day.

“This might be an all-nighter,” you warned, sending her a small smile as you sliced a piece of foam in half and went to work to attach it to your board.

“Fine with me,” Tara shrugged. She just continued to watch you, in a calm silence. “Actually, I have beef with you,” she hummed.

You laughed, looking up while you secured the base with glue. “Why’s that, Tara?”

“You got that song, stuck in my head.”

“Which one?” You asked.

“The one you sang for me. I found it online.”

“Which one?” you teased, smiling again. Your face was tired and the smile certainly didn’t help, but you couldn’t help the newfound peace washing over you again. You had completely forgotten the weird happening from earlier.

“You know, don’t play dumb.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I really don’t know.”

“You literally do,” Tara scoffed.

“Sing a little bit. Refresh my memory.”

“Nuh uh,” she said, crossing her arms. “This is a trap.”

“It isn’t,” you insisted, sticking your pinky out to her. “Swear.”

She wrapped it in her own, rolling her eyes. She definitely knew it was, but she obliged anyway. “If you need a friend, don’t look to a strangerrr. You know in the end,” her voice broke on the low note like yours did, and you laughed while heat rose to her cheeks. “I’ll always be thereeee.”

“And when you’re in doubt,” you sang back to her, in between laughs. “And when you’re in dangerrr.” You both were tone deaf and the rendition was awful, but the mood in the lab was getting lighter and lighter the longer you were together.

“Take a look all around,” Tara sang, coming back in. “And I’ll be there.”

It was impossible not to laugh at how bad it was on both sides, and you grinned at her toothily, before turning back to your work. “Thank you for reminding me.”

“You’re welcome, idiot,” she teased, nudging you in the side again.

===+++===

You went back to working on your model, finishing the first floor in about an hour. You and Tara occasionally talked now and again, but mostly she just watched you while you worked. “Why are you doing this all tonight?” she asked.

“Uh…” you stuttered. “I didn’t have time the past couple weeks…cause of… well, you.”

She shot up to her feet, mouth dropping open. “Why the hell didn’t you say no to me?! I didn’t know you had all this to do.”

You shrugged. “I never mentioned it. Plus, you were having fun. I’m glad someone was enjoying themselves.”

“Oh…” she said, and it sounded small.

“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“…Nothing."

“It’s fine, Tar. Seriously.” She blinked at you.

“Tar?” she asked, looking amused.

You looked up from your work, feeling the change in the atmosphere. “What?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just never used the nickname for me, before.”

“Yeah, I guess not. Is it weird?”

“Well… no. I kind of like it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she agreed, nodding a little. “My mom was the one who gave me the nickname Tar. Haven’t spoken to her in a little while, though.”

“Do you still miss her?” you asked, glueing your second story onto the base successfully.

“Sometimes…” she trailed off, staring out at the pitch black night through the window that hung over your workspace. "She calls me once in a while."

"Do you answer?" you asked.

"No," she admitted. "It's usually about Woodsboro. I gave up on her a few months ago, but she still calls sometimes about the town."

"You never talk about it..." you comment, trailing off with a hand on the back of your neck. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." You leaned back against the table with a curiosity, watching her face move as she struggled to answer.

"Well... it's cause I don't want to that I don't talk about it. You know how people say that shit about manifesting happiness?" you nodded, knowing what she was talking about. "Well, I keep saying I'm fine, and I'm moving on, but it just keeps following me everywhere. It's like this chronic cough I can't shake. This constant thing. No matter how much I run, it's always there. People don't see me as anything but one of the survivors."

You swallowed, feeling her words hit you. "I know what you mean." Tara's eyes snapped down to yours, but when you didn't volunteer more information, she sighed.

You frowned, turning yourself back to your work and hunching over, so she wouldn’t see the heat rising to your cheeks. “I, uh… I listened to that song you said you liked, too.”

“You did?” she asked, lighting up at the mention of it.

“Yeah… added it to my playlist… so…”

“So…” Tara laughed, amused by your awkwardness. It was somehow less awkward when you hated each other. The fact you could tolerate each other now was unusual but not unpleasant, and you still found yourself grappling with how pretty Tara’s eyes looked in lamplight. "If I get a nickname, you absolutely have to have one too."

You scoffed. "That's not at all what that means."

"You had to have had one at some point."

"No, I haven't had one," you said.

"Liar!" Tara said with a giggle, pointing at you with her finger. "You're so bad at lying it's remarkable. Now spill. What is it?"

"I'm not lying!" you insisted, but now you were laughing and it was even less convincing.

"C'mon, promise I won't say it in public— unless it's really bad."

You stared at her for a moment, when she clasped her hands together in a begging plea.

"Please?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Pleaseeee?"

"Fine," you sighed. "My family, they used to call me Duck."

"Duck?" She asked, leaning back to look at you as if the nickname would re-contextualise your entire appearance. "Where'd that come from?"

"It's dumb. I used to wear this yellow raincoat when it was storming outside and these orange booties, so my little brother Mitchie saw me, when he was like five or six, and said I was a Duck. And so I was Duck."

She smiled at you, genuinely pleased with the explanation. "That's adorable. Where is Mitchie, tonight?"

You opened your mouth but shut it. Then, you opened it again. "Probably watching cartoons, or something. Back in Nebraska." (A/N: my ass genuinely did not know that was a U.S. state until right now)

You couldn't tell her that today was the day he had died, several years ago. That a year or two before that had happened, Calvin had gone, and a few months before that, Tomas and Alisha had passed too. That Peter had gotten sick, or that Miranda had gone missing before any of that mess had happened. That you were the only one left.

It was a bad lie, and probably one you would regret later, but it was one you ushered past, and Tara didn't seem to pick up on. From one cursed person to another, you figured it was probably best that you keep your own curse to yourself. It's part of what had made you hate Tara so much at first. She walked around knowing her days were likely numbered, so carefree and careless. And then there was you, you who was so careful in order to keep living.

But you couldn't resent her for that. It had melted away with seeing the Tara underneath. The real, beautiful Tara underneath.

"Duck is good, though. I'll bring it out when I want to embarrass you," Tara smiled, inching closer on the table.

"Yeah?" you grinned back at her, standing up to gently tap against the glue. It was set, and your model was finally finished at 4:42 in the morning. Tara leaned close, watching the glue with her own eyes, cheek almost up against yours in curiosity.

You finished the thing, looking over at her and her large, warm brown eyes, staring at the model you had made with so much curiosity and genuine interest. Tara hadn't lifted a finger to help, but you couldn't help but feel like it was partially hers.

You went to pull back but found your face turning towards hers, looking at each other for a long moment. Your eyes lingered on the slope of her nose, down to the curvature of her soft lips, turned up in the corners like Tara always did when she smiled. They looked so soft, and before you knew what was happening, you could feel Tara's hands coming up to the sides of your face, thumbs gently stroking against the skin there.

You couldn't breathe, feeling the warmth of the pads of her fingers on your face and the faint brush of her breath upon your nose. "Tara," you whispered. The pull was magnetic, and just as you were about to say to hell with it all, her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, and you both leapt apart from each other.

You wandered a few feet away, trying to seem busy while she answered it. You could feel Tara watching you while she spoke on the phone, so you did your best to hide the blush that was certainly spread wide across your cheeks.

This was the very girl you had spent the past several months hating. You suddenly felt dizzy, like the world would slip out from under your feet. Tara, the very same annoying girl who had pestered with you and bickered with you. The one who had so much more to her that what you had ever thought possible. The one who drew you in. The one in search of a hook up, for which you were only the decoy. You cleared your throat, whipping around when you heard Tara say "What?!"

"What's wrong?" you asked. "What's going on?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at you like she was about to cry. "They're questioning Sam again. They think Ghostface is back."

===+++===

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN anyways my ass is going to bed now. also i do not recommend anyone lie to someone they're interested in about who they are, ESPECIALLY an attempted murder victim

[stayingstromboli]

kissing in the rain ࣪𐙚✧₊⁺

I don’t wanna fight, you’re the one I like ୨୧

(This song has been stuck in my head all week, omg it’s so good. It heavily influenced this, I was screaming along with Lana while I wrote it. I need this song injected into my bloodstream.)

☆TW: angst, kissing, swearing (pls say if theres more)

☆In which matt gets jealous and fights with the reader and then they kiss and make up in the rain

꩜ ✧₊⁺ ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊

“Matt!”

Despite your best efforts to seem strong, the tremble in your wavering voice was undeniable. Your pleas were barely above a whisper as you stood helplessly, tears streaming down your grief stricken face, watching your boyfriend angrily crash around the room collecting his things. Usually you’d run straight into his arms, but now you couldn’t. Rain hammered furiously down against the window, each drop cutting through the air like bullets. The howling wind shrieked, so loud it was somehow still able to be heard over your sobs for forgiveness.

“Don’t leave”, you managed to choke out between sobs while trailing after him down to the hallway, sprinting to the door to try and stop him from leaving.

The only response you got was a smouldering glare as he shoved past me to get his jacket from the back of the door. His footsteps were loud and aggressive, his breathing even more so as he silently simmered with pure rage His sweet ocean blue eyes were now a mix of fire and ice: filled with upmost fury yet also cold and closed. The look he was giving you bore deep into you, rooting you to the spot as you froze in fear. Not fear of what he might do to you- no matter how angry he was you knew Matt would never intentionally hurt you- but more so of what he wouldn’t do to you. Fear of the words he wouldn’t say. Things he wouldn’t do. Romantic things that only he would ever to do for you: movie nights when you’re feeling down, love notes left on the fridge, the feel of him embrace, the comfort of his words. Things that, despite his worry, nobody else will ever do for you. The thought of life without him was unbearable and utterly terrifying but one you had never even considered until now. However, from the look of his face, it seemed more and more likely.

He didn’t turn around once to grant me with a final glance as the door swung behind him with a crash. An ear splitting silence erupted as soon as he left, growing louder every passing second you were without him. It was deafening. Your misery was suffocating, fogging up your brain, taking over you, engulfing you in a heavy hopelessness. You were nothing without Matt. He made you whole. Why did he leave you? Did he not love you? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What would you do without him?

A sudden clap of thunder sounded through the air, like it was breaking you from a trance. Dragging you out from your state of complete paranoia as worries about Matt’s safety spiralled through your head. What if something happened to him? You would never forgive yourself for having let him go run out alone in a storm. Swallowing the sobs caught in your throat, you rush out into the dark turmoil outside, with no regard for your own wellbeing.

Your white t shirt was drenched as you ran down the road towards the figure you were guessing was Matt. The wind was roaring, the winter cold gnawing ravenously as your flesh. But you didn’t care.

“Stay.”

You called out to him as soon as he was within earshot. Your voice was no longer pleading but firm. Ordering rather than asking.

“Why? If you like that other guy so much why don’t you stay him?”

Matt’s words are bitter, dripping with hurt and jealousy, making your desire to pull him into your grasp even more dire.

“Because I love you, you idiot. You, and only you”

He turns around to look at you dead in the eyes before closing the distance between you two, bringing his lips to yours. The initial soft kiss is broken as Matt smiles in clear relief. He parts his lips, pausing for a second to catch his breath, as he let the sentence he’s been holding back for months escape: “I love you, baby”. He said the words with such earnest sincerity, causing your face to brighten with a smile.

His body pressed against yours, you on tiptoes to reach up to him, the rain dripping off him onto you. His arms tangled protectively over your shoulders in his warm embrace, shielding you from the winter cold. His eyes were swimming with adoration as he gazed down at your face. His soaking brown hair hung across his face, tickling your nose as Matt leaned in planting another kiss on you, only this time deeper. You kiss back with passion, not even trying to hide your desperation as you feel yourself melt into him.

When you finally break apart, the sight of Matt’s bright pink lipstick stained lips provoked a giggle to escape you. You lean up to his face, peppering his face with pecks, and looked back at your pink masterpiece in satisfaction.

“You’re the one I like.”

@dirtylittleheart333

[miralunawritez]

HxH main four + hisoka n illumi w a teenage daughter thats going through her first heartbreak

this came into my brain n i NEEDED to write it

(the main 4 r aged up to adults btw lol)

Gon-

Is absolutely heart broken for his little girl, wishing he could take her pain away

Hugs her tightly while she cries, not letting go until shes ready

Takes her out to dinner for a dad n daughter date to distract her from her break up

Buys her anything she wants on the menu, he doesnt care how much it costs

Does face masks and watches movies with a bunch of snacks when they get home, any movies of her choice

Paints her nails, does her hair, does absolutely anything for her to make her happy

Kurapika-

Is calm about it on the outside but furious on the inside, who in their right mind would hurt his baby?

Sits her down on the couch to talk about it, letting her vent and cry into his shoulder

Lets her help him cook dinner while playing her favorite music, goofing off the whole time (its ooc but he wants to make her happy)

Gives her some good moving on advice (no contact, distractions, etc)

Stays up with her as late as she wants him to, even though he is an extremely busy man he would always put his child first, especially with what shes going through

Pays super close attention to her, checking up on her frequently, asking if she needs anything, etc

Killua-

He's mad and he shows it, saying stuff along the lines of he knew her ex was bad news, he never liked them, etc

He eventually feels bad about the stuff hes saying and asks what happened, watching and listening as she cries and vents

Buys her a bunch of chocolate, new clothes, jewelry, anything she wants

He already didnt want her dating for this reason because it hurts him to see his little girl upset just as much as it hurts her

Plays video games with her if thats what she wants to do, he will do absolutely anything for her

Makes sure she has no way of contacting her ex so they dont come back into the picture

Leorio-

Oh he is PISSED. its an understatement tbh he is absolutely LIVID.

"Give me their phone number" "Dad I-" "Give it to me"

Goes OFF on her ex, saying how they are missing out on such a wonderful, beautiful, caring girl and how they are going to regret it when shes more successful than them

It's embarrassing but she cant help but love every second of it, cherishing how much her dad loves her

Gives her a pep talk, saying shes too good for them and way too pretty for them

Makes her favorite dinner for her after renting/buying her favorite movie and bringing her a million pillows and blankets to make sure shes comfortable

Hisoka-

Is angered by the fact someone broke his daughters heart, but he knows there is other people out there for her

Tells her theres plenty of fish in the sea and that she will find someone else

More protective over her, not like she dates a lot of people anyway, people are terrified of hisoka and dont wanna be around him

Plays cards with her to keep her distracted and focused on something else, occasionally letting her win to make her happy

Does her makeup for her since she ruined it by crying, being slightly gentle with her

He genuinely loves her so so much..deep down, he just doesn't really know how to show it

Illumi-

Kills her ex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

wrote this bc me n my bf js broke up n i dont have a present father so this is kind of projection of what i wish my dad would do for me (all except hisokas n illumis)

[brain-amoeba]

still battling writers block but wanna stay active so here is all my pea brain can muster at the moment

Even More Random HCs: Spy x Reader

-Let me start this with some of my general Spy HCs-- I don't think he's necessarily as cold and distant as Sniper but I also disagree with the notion of him being very lovey dovey and affectionate. Spy is a gentleman, romantic and full of charm, but still a mysterious gentleman nonetheless (I mean, he's always seen wearing a balaclava ffs), so there is a definite wall between him and those around him. Basically, he's always in control of all his relationships--through his wit and understanding of the human psyche, he can always make his own outcomes, and decides when and how to act to get his desired result every time.

-That's not to say it isn't possible to break that wall down tho, which is what I want to explore in my writing :3 and just another random one is I know Spy doesn't have a canon name and i dunno if theres like a universally agreed upon fanon name for him but I always pictured him as a Maximilien.

-Spy is very picky when it comes to those who pique his attention--he may be a romantic, but he's not just some sleazebag who flirts with anything that has a pulse. He likes to think of it as some kind of game, or scheme. A variety of worthy contenders, but only 1 he ends up meaningfully pursuing (enter reader stage left!!!)

-Spy, a master manipulator and well-versed in the art of conniving, knows better than to go all-in once he has his heart set on you. What kind of mercenary would he be if he didn't have some kind of master plan? There are still 8 other men he has to compete for your affections with, you know.

-He strings you along, always giving just the right amount of flirtation or romance to keep your dopamine up while still leaving you begging for more. His psychological approach to winning you over is to ensure that once you fall, you can't won't want to get back up :)))

-And if he finds that perhaps you've taken to one of his colleagues a little more than him? Ohohoho, a true gentleman fights for his lady! But in this particular case, Spy is no stranger to fighting dirty--he takes it upon himself to disguise as whichever merc you're crushing on and will gaslight you and manipulate your feelings against (insert merc here). He knows better than to outright crush you and give you a cold rejection while in disguise, though he dreams of it; the moment you'd come crying to him about your broken heart, and how terribly sorry you were for not coming to your senses and being with Spy instead--it's almost enough to get him hard

-He doesn't mean to manipulate you so harshly, honest! He just wants what's best for him you. He will treat you right. He will make sure all your needs are taken care of, and take you to the highest heights of carnal pleasure you've never known before--even if you don't, he knows that you see it that way too.

By any means necessary.

(also just wanna say i have seen all the asks in my inbox and i promise I am working on all of them! writers block is really just kicking my ass when it comes to writing actual fics, which is what i'm doing for quite a few of them, but I promise i'll get them churned out!)

[goremet-chef]

try not to be mentally ill challenge literally impossible okay right theres the thing??? (ramble? not really a vent im not feelin bad SKJFS maybe rant is better)

its like a "damned if i do, damned if i dont" situation. if i dont say anything i suffer in silence and it eats away at me until i forget or i feel better, and if i say something then it just makes it WORSE. i do not know how to. cope with this KSJDFS

like i know damn well communication is key, but all the times ive communicated about this sort of thing, it just.. people see me a certain way. they see me as broken, depressed, traumatized, MENTALLY ILL. its so. fucking annoying its like this pity i hate it because i dont need to be pitied

i remember _ used to say that about me, the thing about bpd is for a lot of borderlines, yr symptoms are worse when yr in a relationship, and that was the case for me, i was like. MISERABLE i was crying every day and trying desperately to get any sorta love from him (that wasnt just on me tho, he was so shitty fr) and he used to be like.. wow, you really are just broken and it? ?? my brain at the time would mistake that weird half assed pity for genuine affection cuz he basically kept me tied to him but ? he wouldnt date me or show me affection often unless he wanted to like. do e-rp (which is why i hate that shit so much now SFKJF sad i used to love roleplaying) but he didnt want me to date anyone either like i HAD an option. not a very good one but still and i asked assuming he didnt care about me and the answer would be yes, but no he said he wasnt comfortable with me dating someone else. so HE could date whoever he wanted cuz he wasnt gonna date me, but i couldnt. i told him at the time how unfair that was and he was just like "i know..." like he couldnt give me a solid answer why it was hell cuz he was my FP so i had to listen to him in my head. its so. GUHH he sucked ass im so glad i barely think of him anymore

its just like. you try and share hey im gonna be vulnerable rn and let you know that im in some sort of mental distress and i wanna communicate that, but

people dont get it!!! because when it comes to bpd theres no.. theres not really valid reason!! like in MY head there is, but not to anyone else. so for everyone there isnt even a reason for me to bring it up and that just make me look even more crazy its. I HATE ITT no one understands unless theyre borderline too its so. frustrating man

i dont want people to see me like that, i hate it so much id rather just never tell when somethings bothering me cuz eventually ill get over it until it rears its head again yknow? its wack asf

[sunwarmed-ash]

Sinful Sunday: On deck- Figure You Out

okay so really the backstory of this whole fic was I got stoned and was starting to try to write and Figure You Out by VIOLA came on spotify. Less than 12 seconds into the song the angsty Steddiegrove story started forming in my brain.

Then I started thinking about how it would be cooler if Eddie performed this modified version of the song post breakup with Billy. and THEN I started thinking about who would be on tour with Corroded Coffin and because this is my fic and my obsessions I chose OG Panic! At The Disco :D

thus the steddiegrove, rydon, eddie/brendon 2000s band au fic was born

i also didn't expect to write more than the song fic haha so thats why theres only one chapter. Maybe if yall like it enough ill write more 👿

CHAPTER DROPPING THIS SUNDAY!!

in the meantime, here's a little teaser

Chicago: Punk Never Dies Tour 2005

Panic! At The Disco has just cleared the stage and their stage crew is busy setting up Corroded Coffins gear while the crowd demands a second encore. It's been a few days, since his break up with Billy, but it's still eating at Eddie. He hates that he's in such a bad mood. He loves the stage. He loves performing. But his personal life can’t get its fucking shit together and its bleeding all over his stage persona. Even two weeks later. 

He's far enough into his head he doesn't even notice there's someone in front of him until they make physical contact. 

“Eds? You good man?” 

It's Gareth. 15 years his band mate and he knows Eddie and his moods like the back of his hand. Eddie gives him a tight lipped smile. He's not. Not even a little.

“Yeah man, sorry. Didn't sleep great last night.”

Gareth smirks and rolls his eyes. 

“So I guess I should be blaming Billy then.” 

Any other day, Eddie would laugh it off. Maybe agree, flirt, or make an over the top sexual remark. But not today. Not after Billy yanked out his heart, crushed it with his boot and then pissed on it. 

“We’re done.” 

Gareth's playful face drops and he looks a little queasy. 

“S-Shit, man, I-I’m so sorry.”

“You didn't know,” Eddie says, shaking his head and slapping the back of his bandmates shoulder to indicate the end of that conversation. “Come on, gotta get warmed up.”

-

Billy is practically vibrating out of his skin. He looks like he's either going to pass out or throw up. 

“I don't wanna be here Steve,” he says for the 7th time since they arrived at the small venue, but based on the never ending mood swings and constant name dropping of his ex, it's more than obvious to Steve Billy does want to be here. Needs it actually. Steve knows Billy never should of broken up with Eddie. Even if the blonde convinces himself, poorly, he's better off without him. 

“Yes, you do. Come on, I’m right here. I’ll be right here, the whole time.”

-

The stage lights change and Eddie turns to face the crowd, still high off that last long. Evidently so are they, because the pit is still active and Eddie watches with glee as the security guards try and fail to stop it. He's arguably feeling a little bit better. Their first few songs have turned an already wild crowd feral. He makes a risky decision, and hopes it's the right one.  

“Okay so this next song is brand new. LIke, I wrote it a week ago new. And, well, it's drastically different than anything we've ever written or performed, but I don't know, what do you think guys? Think this is a good crowd for it?”

The crowd explodes and Eddie laughs, high off their approval. 

“Alright alright, ya convinced us,” he says before nodding to the band to start setting up for their new song. Gareth changes his black bass for an electric-red one, Jeff swaps his bass for the electric violin, and Mike starts up the simple, repetitive drumline with a bass boosted modification. Eddie switches his handheld microphone for a headset, eagerly waiting for his tour mate to return to the side stage.

The song starts off starts off slow, with a deep base undertone accentuated by an electric violin that Eddie thought feels so sexy once they get to the chorus. He's never performed it live before, only twice at practice before the concert tonight, but in his head it's going to be sexy. Mostly, he just had alot of feelings about one resident asshole Billy Hargrove that he needs to get out. The stage is where he healed.

[vesselrae]

For the edgy oc ask meme..... 9 !

oouuughh this activates the neurons VERY HARD this will Not be a simple answer fkgfgkjh MORE UNDER CUT-

this was also probably gonna be longer but i only now just got my computer set up im so sleepyyy

THIS GONNA BE FOR VEL'RYN my stinky critter, im writin little things for some of em, some are like... if i wasss maybe to do a little comic thingy or story maybe i would give context to that more? idk i dont wanna write too much ahha but also a lot of these have association HEAVILY due to head amvs and INTENSE vibes??

Sleep Token - Alkaline 'Not acid nor alkaline Caught between black and white Not quite either day or night She's perfectly misaligned' The whole song is VERY vel'ryn, esp fray'ryn ship considering the whole esteem thing (which in my lore is more separated and has a little bit of a difference just a bit? i think its a common difference tho),

but on the face value of the song it really captures them really close lol- their visuals, their changes over the course of their story, how it effects everyone else the more dynamisticly radiated they are, let alone the MENTAL.

the Buttress- brutus 'Something wicked this way comes And as I set to face it, I'm unsure should I embrace it, should I run? What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What's more wrong, that I too wish to be great Or my mother wished she'd had a son? And even if I can't be the one Maybe I could at least help make way for him Until the day that he comes Maybe my name could also be known That I helped return good to the people And restored greatness to Rome' -and also- 'My name is Brutus and my name means heavy So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy'

another one where the whole song is kind of an outline for vel!!! this one leaning into both verses vel is in differently; ffxiv being a literal sibling-type beat, and seele-verse being more of a paranoid thought system that were basically hereditary.

spirit box - hysteria 'What I've created as violent delights in my head Will have a violent end A broken violent end

And I feel fear disintegrate Axis annihilate In crystal clarity Tension pulling me in the shadows'

Shiro Sagisu - Keep your head above the mayhem 'Showing flashes of bravado In a torrent of destruction Keep your head above the mayhem Clarity will be your weapon As the blinded falter and die'

Brand of Sacrifice - Animal 'Don't let go of what's left of your humanity Blood must flow I will not allow myself to be an animal All I know is I must subdue the beast Hatred grows and so does the temptation to release'

very 'in battle' moment, because vel is SOOO dynamis heavy. they can absorb aether a little more than normal sure but dynamis is strooong and they can use it like aether (mostly against their will and only in battle or in complete mania, which can happen anyyytime with usss) and it acts sort of like spiritual pressure (like bleach!), so the more its used the more their brain fries the more they spiral... its a cycle thats VERY slippery-

theres a lot more, ill link the playlist i have for vel! always updating it tbh, but when i make playlists i take every part of a song literally and its gotta fit a vibe somehow yknow?? the rhythms, the riffs, the sounds and vocals- !!!

however, other songs that have relating lyrics include; Frozen- celldweller (social kid remix) Magdalena- a perfect circle Love me- counter parts Грустная Сука- ic3peak Granite- Sleep token (as well as Atlantic) which is REAAALLY heavily paired with @rohandydandy 's wol rohir kjbfkjh (atlantic is also a frayryn song, but its really well paired either way!!)

Songs without lyrics are also important!! i think riffs say what words cant! Meshuggah- They move below (beginning looped)

Jason richardson(luke holland)- Sparrow

Aequilibrium- Andrey Vinogradov

Augury - richaadeb

and so on ::} Full character playlist

[wulvert]

YEA THE "THINK ABOUT THIS ONE HIGHLY SPECIFIC FACT WITH MY BLORBO" DISEASE IS SO REAL,,,i have an oc who's my main guy hopping around in my brain and i go "yea she cant play the imposter (ඞ) in among us because lying to and killing her friends make her sad even though its a silly online game. she plays an absolutely Killer crewmate detective game though" (MEDIEVAL AGE CHARACTER BTW.) meanwhile any side character ocs i have even if theyre like. semi-important my brain can only come up with. "um. possibly Human idk. could Be"

also omg,,,scarlet and avery,,,KISSING?! 🏳️‍🌈😳WHAT!!! i cant believe there s vampire lesbins in,,,pap er teeth,,,the Lesbian Vampires comic,,,ur gona tell me theres vampires next,,,(very /lh /j etc btw pls do NOT read this as condescending!!!). also yeah one of my favorite parts of making fan content is just. deciding random ass things for the characters and world,,,my brain goes "Whats your source for this Information" and the source is i Made it the Fuck up!!

this ask got very long,,,it will get longer sorry. it is time for the Questioning™️ (same things as always apply!!)

how do paperteeth werewolves work? can they transform at will, or can they only do it under a full moon?

do they still have their weakness to silver? more weaknesses? supernatural abilities?

do vampire hunters not mind werewolves since theyre. u know. not Vampires or do they also not like werewolves?

follow up 2 that,,,do any of the vampire hunter group including her dad know trisha's a werewolf or is she just. chillin'. completely anonymous.

also i just realized. i have NO idea where paperteeth takes place. for some reason ive always just thought it was somewhere in europe. IS paperteeth's setting european??? i have no idea why i was so solid in my belief that theyre in europe up 2 this point,,,

WEREWOELVS!

ok so yeah these werewolves r more the ugh terrible curse that ruins ur life flavour, they cant transform at will, no benefits in human form like cool retractable claws or anything. they transform on the full moon & whenever they get extremely angry or scared, & its the gross horrifying painful kind like you get a new set of teeth every month kinda thing. they can avoid turning if they stay out of the moonlight BUT they feel extremely obligated to go look at it, and will get violent if kept from it, so its safer for the person to just turn than to throw themself at a basements brick wall relentlessly, all night- so you cant actually avoid it unless you wanna break all your arms every month, i mean the arms break either way but they heal when they turn back if theyre broken by turning. will eat anyone and anything except vegetables while a wolfh

weakness 2 silver in both forms, similar to a vampire. other injuries heal quickly but if u like killed it hard enough with a non silver weapon itd probably still die? it depends. like if u put a werewolf into a stainless steel blender, and the blender didnt break... itd probably stay dead, whereas if u put a vampire in a blender, i mean its hard to say, what counts as decapitation... if putting a vampire in a blender doesnt count as decapitation the vampire survives just fine. im trying to say werewolves are technically weaker than vampires, but theyre probably in a practical setting harder to kill, bc u cant just stake it and theyre huge. avery wouldnt know where to start with a werewolf.

depends on the vampire hunter! its not in the job description, but the kind of person who decides to become a vampire hunter is probably more likely to have a problem with werewolves. avery doesnt care about werewolves at all & wouldnt go out of her way to find and kill one, she's a little bit scared of them bc they spread their curse much easier than vampires (one bite is all it takes 2 pass it on) & she would find being a werewolf SO embarrassing.

(but she doesnt have to worry about that anymore bc i dont think vampires can become werewolves, i think werewolves can become vampires though. 4 a vampire the bite would heal immediately and i think vampires are a little bit too much of their own creature for werewolfness or whatever to recognise them as a suitable curse haver)

nobody except fish's family knows shes a werewolf!

&yeah! paperteeth takes place in scotland :)

[alstroemerian-dragon]

Hi I saw your tags on that hajihiko art and that bit about your fic sounds really interesting if you don’t mind I kinda wanna hear more if not then I’ll happily wait for the fic!

youve activated my trap card aka asking me to explain my thoughts !!!! this might get long

my fic is basically a long form. uh. character study? relationship study? thats pretty much just hajime and fuyuhiko having Very Intimate And Personal Conversations (Five Times!) over the first. year? post wake up. and in one of them they have a lengthy discussion about the whole concept of any of them having kids

because hiko is like. hiko is the kind of person who is Very Practical And Realistic (though some may say Pessimistic). and he is of the opinion that things can only be calm and good for so long before shit hits the fan again right? so, in that case, having children with them is only going to make things worse. first, putting kids into an actively dangerous situation is pretty high up in his List Of Terrible Fucking Things Someone Can Do (which is fair, because it is, but also because. Yknow. Personal Experience). second, children being with them is, from a purely practical standpoint, going to be a Huge amount of baggage if they ever need to Leave Right Now Very Quickly. kids are also an ENORMOUS weakness if the enemy ever discovers their existence. so in his mind, theyre a huge disadvantage and just generally a Terrible Fucking Idea.

weirdly enough, though, in the conversation, this is not his argument. because in the circumstances, theyre both kind of in a very vulnerable and open place for this conversation, and so he comes at it from an emotional standpoint. and fuyuhikos emotions around them having kids are complicated.

theres the guilt, right? theyre all classified as war criminals, basically, and are guilty of some of the most heinous acts known to man. they may be being left alone, and they may be repentant and in recovery NOW, but the effects of their actions are gonna be felt for a long time, probably decades. do they even deserve the joy of childcare? of having their own children and raising them and seeing them grow? additionally, they have no idea how long theyre gonna be stuck on those islands. maybe even forever. keeping their kids trapped there when they did nothing wrong aside from. well. Being The Kids Of The Remnants. is almost cruel, right? but if they dont want that, they basically have to give their kids up at some point, maybe even to the future foundation to be integrated into the new world. but when do you do that? when theyre babies, so they never know who their real parents are and never have to reckon with the impact they had on the world? or when theyre young adults, with the full knowledge of what their parents did and who they are, and that the world, which will definitely be utterly fucked for a long time even after the tragedy is officially classified as ‘over’ (whatever that means), will despise them just by virtue of who gave birth to them?

either way, theyre gonna lose their kids at some point. and thats going to hurt. not just the kids themselves, being thrust into a world like that, but the remnants too. those are their children.

fuyuhiko also just… has a lot of guilt and fear around having kids because of his upbringing. you cant tell me he isnt so afraid of turning into his parents, of endangering his own kids, of being too angry and too volatile and too broken to care for them properly. so in his mind, the only real fix to the situation is to just never have them in the first place.

but hajime… hajimes situation is a lot different. first off, in my funny little brain space hajime is very very much a trans man, and though his relationship with identity and gender specifically is very messy due to The Horrors, he clings to his identity as a man in the same way he clings to the name hajime hinata, as an anchor to stability and purpose. if he is hajime hinata, then he is also a man, because hajime hinata was one. this is of course a huge simplification and i could make a whole other post about hajimes fucked up gender shit but its NOT THIS ONE so were moving on. anyway, his relationship with having his own kids therefore is very complicated, as many trans men will tell you, and this is… complicated by another thing i wont go into because its very sad and not really the point and also kind of a spoiler. anyway.

but aside from just himself, hajime is also extremely practical. the difference between his practicality and fuyuhikos is that while fuyuhiko’s practicality is rooted in a childhood of danger and violence and ruthlessness, hajimes is rooted in analytics, because thats just the way his brain works now. numbers and percentages and chance. on top of that, though, what balances out that practicality is that in hajimes brain, one of the most important things about Being Human is Having Human Connections. its how he fights the boredom, fights off the constantly encroaching emptiness in the back of his head. people are complicated and messy and a lot more unpredictable than his izuru conditioning would have had him believe, and he revels in that, in understanding that people have habits and recognizable traits while also doing the weirdest shit possible when you least expect it. having human connections helps him feel human, helps him feel his emotions the most strongly, and he clings to that.

so he understands, on a very base level, why some of them would want children. he understands that a lot of them probably will when they wake up. he understands that they will all adore those kids when theyre born, that the fifteen of them will be a village, will do everything in their power to make sure those kids are happy and safe and understand the dangers of the world while not being subjected to the worst of it until theyre ready.

but hajime also understands philosophy and psychology on a very high level. because you know. the horrors. so he also can reckon with the fact that its not an easy question to answer. should they have kids? would it be ethical to have kids? they dont have an answer thats going to satisfy everyone. some of them are going to stubbornly insist none of them should. some of them are going to be desperate for them. some of them arent going to care. hes skilled in medical knowledge (again, the horrors), and if there are accidents they can be dealt with, but some people arent going to want that. he and/or mikan could probably handle childbirth, as long as theyre not actively in danger, but again, theres the question of whether they even should.

thats. the basis of their conversation. they dont end up with an answer, and i dont think i honestly have one either. could they potentially have children at some point in their lives? probably, yeah. but the logistics of that, of when they would, when the kids would leave, how they would be raised, is a lot more complicated than just ‘cute domestic childcare.’

BUT THATS. yeah. its really funny that this ended up so long because that conversation is maybe a whole 18% of the total length of that chapter and thats. being lax on what constitutes as ‘part of that conversation’ fjshfjsjfjjsjs. the thing about me is that i can not shut the fuck up to save my life, so they discuss like. SIX different topics in that conversation. it makes me very afraid that people wont be able to follow it or will get tired of all the dialogue but. Thats Just Something I Will Have To Deal With.

someday ill post this fucking fanfiction. im trying to get at least. four? of the chapters done before i start posting because i have a long history of starting to post chapters/segments of a fic only for my fixation to crumble and then i never finish it. im hoping building up engagement w this blog will help so people will talk to me and keep my writing lmao. im glad youre interested though!!!!!! ive put a lot of love into all the writing ive done for dr so far

[thegeminisage]

man theres so many CHESTS just laying around in the zora area

also it is AAALLWAYS raining girl let me CLIMB

these underwater/underground ruins are SO COOL i wish i'd seen these the first time i was here

YOOOOOOO MY FUCKING CLIMBING BOOTS. FOUND THEM!!!!!!!!!

shrine puzzle here where i gotta take the crystal and follow the beam. i am quite clearly supposed to build a raft, but there are materials for a bike. decided against this bc i love rafting in this game and also bc of the low ceiling, even though with the crystal as a counterweight the low ceiling ought to be no problem

actually, i should have done the bike. rafting is more fun when you're going with the current and not against it and also i'm dying to see how my new battery holds up <3

BIKE GOOD...i can't wait to get a chance to properly put it thru its paces

oh man i did a really long korok trip that with my old battery i wouldn't have been able to do!!!

there's a BED? up here at the reservoir. i slept in it expecting my bike to despawn but it was still there when i woke up

and a sidequest for helping this zora get stones for mipha's court...good i could use a break lol

NIIIICE zora fabric!!

god the music in mipha court still fucking kills me. it's crazy bc i didn't even LIKE mipha that much in the first game!! like ofc i cared about her, but she wasn't eating holes in my brain. but man...........

CLIMBERS BANDANAAAAAAAAAA AT FUCKING LAST

back in the ancoent zora waterworks for 1. zora greaves quest and 2. Frog. it's still really cool in here...

oh shit the water is gone!!! crazy..............

GOT MY GREAVES!!!

holy shit i just fused a weapon with 104 atk lol i can NEVER use this i have to save it for ganondorf. and a club with 72 atk wtf

well, i broke them immediately. i equipped one for a sneakstrike and i guess i forgot to unequip it so i must've broken them in this fight cuz they're both gone :(

uh...no...their attack got halved...? maybe i had some kind of effect going for me in the waterworks? water attack up or something? but i hadn't had any special food or armor...

OH i see! the zora swords i used for fusion have atk up when wet. it was raining and now it stopped lol. i almost panicked

:| i saved blood moon guy again and he said OH I KNEW YOU'D COME...like.........adn now he is like well i can do my research w/o fear. u always rescue me. buddy one day theyre gonna roast you over their little campfire before my ass gets here. then what. freak

oh damn he gave me a diamond??? ok fine ig

found another high/low tide cave. i like it better than the last one, probably bc this time i'm not trying to steer a shivery purse dog npc thru it on a raft

my rubber tights!!!!!!! FINALLY i can ride and farm farosh like she deserves. mwah

ANOTHER block puzzle i can't get...am i just stupid???

got my lightscale trident! unfortunately i am definitely gonna break it bc i do not have room for it in my house lol

lol sidon's wife says he talks about link constantly. "link is the best" "no task is insurmountable when i am with link" is he like. ok. like man are you happy are you like good? crackpot theory sidon like zelda canonically has a crush but it's up to us the decide if it's requited lol. i seriously tinfoil hat think he's gay. like is this all accidental writing sure but also. good lord

i am not against sidon getting hitched or whatever but this whole thing is so WEIRD...................

THE MAN HAS A STATUE OF THEM. LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE whatever look it's fine. i'm normal. this is so normal. i think this is why i left in a hurry last time actually. weird vibes i get around here. i can't be doing this shit during pride month

happily this is all i have time for today. tomorrow i wanna try doing more story lol the right side of my map is so close to being clear but i need a break!!!

[transmandrake]

Thinkin sometimes about how I sometimes feel, even around other, idk, autistic/neurodivergent or whatever people, that I'm still way, way, undercapable of being social.

I think it's that, for most people who struggle to be social, the internet becomes their social circle. I used to think I was the same, but in comparison to anyone irl or I've slightly gotten to know on the internet, the way other people socialise on the internet and the way I do are miles and miles and miles apart.

I think the problem is that my favourite way to be around other humans is to be around other humans, and that's kind of fundamentally an in real life thing.

Like what is the internet version of parallel play 😔

And also I guess I do find it easier to talk to people in real life actually... the advantage of being bad at reading facial expressions is that its very hard to tell if youre talking is welcomed or not, so i feel less able to control peoples reaction, and therefore theres less to worry about. But on the internet, I have infinite time to make the right reply and recognise typing patterns that reflect disinterest and such... Its a lot more anxiety inducing ironically.

Its also a bit nice though, since sometimes I get the bad brain thoughts that no one likes what I do because no one intereacts with it, but then I see my sister making roblox memes with her friends and getting a, to be honest concerning amount of views, and take some comfort in that feedback is more a reflection of social reach than, idk, skill or something.

Idk. Its a bit upsetting to at a young age find comfort in finding other freaks who are bad at socialising, and growing up to see many of them socialising through the internet, while youre still feeling a bit broken at being able to do neither.

The funny part is I wanna say I need to find ofher people like me but thats the problem isnt it. Introverts unite, separately. That one vid with the introverted dogs standing around avoiding each other.

[graveyardmouth]

no offense but all offense. how do you not like mania. i think i got too many memories getting in the way of me. even at the best of times im out of my mind. i testify if i die in my sleep then know that my life was just a killer dream. youre the last of a dying breed write our names in the wet concrete i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me. i am a collapsing star with tunnel vision but only for you. im done with having dreams the thing that i believe you drain all the fear from me. i wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you. i took too many hits off this memory i need to come down. we were lovers first confidants but never friends were we ever friends. the distance between us it sharpens me like a knife. i know its just a number but youre the eighth wonder. ill stop wearing black when they make a darker color. woke up on the wrong side of paradise. i hate all my friends i miss the days when i pretended with you. i became such a strange shape from trying to fit in. take the pain make it billboard big then swallow it for me. oh the things that you do in the name of what you love you are doomed but just enough. i am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom. if there were any more left of me id give it to you. i got dreams of my own but i want to make yours come true. youre the one habit i just cant kick. im back with a madness im a champion of the people who dont believe in champions. im just young enough to still believe but young enough not to know what to believe in. if i can live through this i can do anything. you say please dont ever change but you dont like me the way i am. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me. dancing all alone in the morning light. i fell in love but i didnt fall down. feel like im bulletproof. you are my truest feeling yet i love you so much its just like oxygen. ive lived so much life i think that god is gonna have to kill me twice. i only wrote this down to make you press rewind. woke up on the wrong side of reality and theres a madness thats just coursing right through me. im just here for the fall. im living out of time eternal heatstroke. spiritual revolt from the waist down. im just a full tank away from freedom. these are the last blues we're ever gonna have. the glow of the cities below lead us back to the places that we never should have left. im yours till the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away. looking for pieces of broken hourglass trying to get it all back put it back together as if the time had never passed. i just want to let you break my brain.

[feelsofhiraeth]

@algizkali​ : you followed me, but i followed back for the amazing writing, but stays for the p.... i can't the same to ur name bc it just says pol-ussy. that's so unfair. ok that being said. i followed back bc of the amazing writing. i stayed for the amazing person behind the writing. i stayed for the amazing friendship that's come from meeting you. someone i can be completely open with, talk about absolutely anything. have you noticed we don't even talk about rp that much anymore? we're always talking about life, mythology, tarot cards, crystals and whatever else is going on. i confide in you, and you are truly one of my closest friends on here. i'm glad you took the chance to follow me, bc i probably would have never followed you first, i saw you writing with mob for a while before you followed me and i was always like *sigh* look how good they are. your ocs are amazing, reina best girl. i always have muse for our lil lesbians. todo and carletta are literally my otp for her. im not even playing. i didn't not expect her to have a boyfriend but god damn, he's her other half. would have never thought about it if you didn't bring that wonderful idea to the table. you are another one who sees through the bullshit, and really does always understand where i'm coming from. when we have little disagreements, we handle them like full blown adults. not like 97% of the rpc. we just get each other, and im happy to help you through your spiritual journey as well. we can talk about anything and everything, and your anya is absolutely perfect. a little hellion. your characterizations are amazing, and i always just- 'ye that tracks.' when you post a headcanon. you are just a wonderful individual and i'm thankful to have met you, thank you for being my friend.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF MY BLOG !

we actually don’t and that’s so funny bc i don’t remember the last time we ever actually spoke about a rp???  we just talk absolute nonsense most of the time and that’s even more fun than only talking about threads or tumblr bc that can get a little tireing but i never feel tired talking with you!!!!  also ngl i think it took me a whole day to pluck the courage to follow you i was a coward fr.  IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME LMAO I SAW U WRITING WITH MOB AND WAS LIKE WHAT IF I FOLLOWED SPACE... and i did after a day of gathering the courage wriuhfwerg.  AND REINA, AHH never forget her trying on ahmya’s dress and ahmya getting hearteyes, we love the gays.  and todo and carletta... i deadass suggested it bc i thought it would be so funny and it actually is but it’s also very cute when you take away the memes, you’d think he’d act all romantic and lovey dovey with his gf but todo acts like his gremlin gf’s bestie bc she’s more chaotic than him and there can’t be two unstable people in this relationship can there? NO and i love him for that.  you’re also very right i remember that 1 disagreement we had and you were flabbergasted when i apologised sincerely and explained myself i often think back on that and giggle because that’s honestly how people should resolve their issues.  ILY SM OKAY I WILL BE UR FRIEND ALWAYS!!!!!!

[parkerarchive]

MR TELEPHONE MAN ୨୧ ₊˚.༄ lucas‎ sinclair x reader blurb

byr: female reader, fluff!

“there’s something wrong with my line!” lucas screeched, letting the entirety of maple street hear. he had started pacing around in his kitchen like a bullet (or well - pacing around as much as one could while holding a wall attached phone.) after punching in his thirteenth try.

yes, thats right. it was his thirteenth time trying to reach your household. you were giving the cold shoulder and for good reason too! yesterday was your ‘1 year of dating’ anniversary. and he. had. forgotten. and no calls, no planned meet-ups, no holding a boombox outside your window as it played your favourite mutual love song. this had left you feeling miserable and mopey in your room; ultimately ignoring him. of course, though, this was unbeknownst to lucas.

“lucas dear...don't you think you should give it a break? our phone bill doesn't pay it self you know." mrs sinclair leaned on the wall, watching her worried son. "no mom, you don't get it! me and y/n specifically planned to call today...but the call never goes through! there's gotta be something wrong with the telephone." lucas whined.

erica snorted while eating her chocolate sundae that she had acquired from god-knows where. "sooo...you think because y/n's not answering, our phone is broken?" "yes! when i dial y/n's number, i get a click everytime. that isn't normal." now erica laughed loudly, "for a nerd you are pretty stupid."

lucas' dark eyebrow quirked. "she obviously doesn't wanna talk to you!…t’s just the facts." erica tried to explain. "what?! no way. why wouldn't she wanna talk to me. i mean we planned to call today at 5pm! so there is no reason for her not to answer!" he started to nervously ramble. did you really not wanna speak to him? "and when exactly did you plan this?” erica questioned. "3 days ago!"

"well suprise suprise, maybe you did some typical idiotic thing to make her mad at you within those 3 days." erica sounded unamused. "what?? but i haven’t even spoken to her in the past 3 days! theres nothing i could've possibly done to..." lucas' trailed off, his eyes widening as he felt his mouth go dry. "oh god, no no no." he immediately left the family phone hanging to his mothers distaste and ran to the house calender.

and there in all its big, bold, glory with a big fat heart circled around it was 'me & y/n's 1 year anniversary! lucas bit his lip. "oh shit. oh shit fuck!” "fuck. i am such a bad boyfriend." erica sighed from behind him, reading the calender alongside. "you need to stop with the obscenities..but yeah, you are." "no.. no, no! i've still got time to make this right. i'm going to y/n's house! tell mom for me!" lucas shouted before running outside and getting onto his bike eventually following the path of your house.

"i'm not gonna tell mom that!" erica stuck her tounge out as she walked back to her ice-cream.

♡

you rolled your eyes as you flipped to the 'celebrity it couples' page from a random teen magazine you had laying around your room. there were a huge pile of books on your bed - all that you had attempted to read earlier - making it hard to move around. you figured that filling your mind with literature and celebrity drama while madonna played in the background would lift your mood and somehow distract you. spoiler alert, it didn’t.

you sighed as you realised the last time the phone rang was about 10 minutes ago.. did this mean lucas didn't care about you any more? did he forget about you just like how he forgot your anniversary? surely he knew it was your anniversary... but then why didn't he say anything about it yesterday? hell you guys didn't even see eachother yesterd-

the overthinking that clouded your brain suddenly evaporated as you heard the doorbell ring. you remained still for a second.. this was your way of checking to see who it is. then suddenly you heard more faster & obnoxious door knocks. you groaned, yep it's lucas. and you know what... this time, i am not going to ignore it!

as you left your room, you felt anew. you slammed your door like you just-had-a-fight-with-your-parents-in-a-dramatic-teen-show and you stomped into your foyer. you swung open the fromt door, prepared to give lucas a verbal ass-whooping.

"sinclair, you—!" but before you could get an insult in you were interrupted, by a pair of all too familiar lips coming contact with your own. you gasped in surprise and lucas used this as a way to deepen the kiss he started; reaching up to hold your face gently with his palm.

you felt blood rush up your neck and onto your face as you realised what was happening. you kissed back, finally relaxing. your lips moved together sweetly before lucas finally pulled away, leaving your lips & cheeks a red hue, his hand still resting on your face.

there was about a 5 second silence before lucas sheepishly smiled. "that was to shut you up." you felt your past anger surge back as you smacked lucas' hands away causing him to giggle. “y’know you’ve got a lot of nerve-“ you started,“wait – wait! let me speak first.” lucas pleaded. you gave him an unimpressed look, yet you said nothing and lucas took this as his green light to go.

“okay first of all, i know. and second of all, i am so so sorry. it was our 1 year anniversary yesterday and i completely forgot - like a total jack-ass! and you don’t need to forgive me, but just know that i promise – no - i swear that i will make it up to you. starting... right now!" and after that he immediately lunged forward and pulled you in his arms. he attacked your face with little fairy kisses ranging from your forehead to your nose to your neck.

you giggled, bathing in the kisses. "yeah, alright sinclair, but it’s gonna take a lot more than a few kisses!” “okay, deal.” he’d smile, relieved.

♡

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

-

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

_________________________

Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to. 

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows. 

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets. 

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later. 

Then came The Witchers. 

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see. 

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live. 

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly. 

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus. 

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person. 

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings. 

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again. 

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear. 

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived. 

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off. 

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands. 

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming. 

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train. 

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable. 

It was surreal. 

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time. 

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent. 

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck. 

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either. 

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications. 

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.”