#theres like maybe 2 of them that still survive. i know one is either in a museum or a museum ship

[enchantedsword]

au were mk is wukongs bio kid but its still similar to canon in that he wasnt supposed to be born for many many years. okay this is gonna be a shit explanation but ill do my best to make it make sense.

mk is supposed to be born with both wukong and macaque as his parents(macaque was always fated to come back) in the more traditional way. but nine headed demon who we'll say became "friends" with wukong during that five hundred years after sealing demon bull king, used some sort of spell/magic to basically have wukongs magic/life force/essence(whatever you want to call it) create a child on its own without another parent without wukong getting suspicious about it, since there are occasions a celestial pregnancy can occur like this.

however this is still not a good thing for wukong because even with all his strength and power a child(at least a celestial one) still needs two parents or at least another trusted person to help provide it energy/life force during pregnancy and for about 3 years after so the baby(mk) is only feeding from wukong, so much so that he's extremely weak by the time he gives birth and isnt even back to full power/health until mk would be unlocking his own powers. theres also the fact mk is still the harbinger of chaos and not just a normal celestial child so he would end taking more from wukong.

also playing with the idea that giving birth burned through the pills and wine of immortalities maybe even a third one or at least half of another one, thats how difficult/dangerous this pregnancy and birth was for him without a partner to help. i do think he would call a temporary truce with PIF at least towards the end of his pregnancy because he knows he wont be able to actually give birth alone, and shes been through this before and she'd be the only one he trust to help him even with all thats happened between them.

now this opens the opportunity for nine headed demon to steal mk, however im unsure if i want him take him when hes a newborn and have wukong think that his child is dead due to not being able to give him the power/energy he needed during pregnancy, or if he waits until mk is about 2 like in canon before he takes him, turns him human and erases wukongs memories of himself and mk. either way he does erase himself from wukongs memories.

i dont have a lot for this au but i do know season 4 and 5 would be one hell of an emotional roller coaster for everyone, the scroll giving hints that mk isnt human and somehow related to wukong but not clear on the how. im honestly leaning towards mk being taken as a baby and wukong believing he didnt survive childbirth and the scroll itself showing mk the wukong has a baby that "died", instead of being shown the rock. technically he could be shown that in either version i choose to use. but if i choose this option i feel like wukong would start piecing things together a lot quicker then in canon, cause an 18-20 year old kid shows up being able to use the staff and with all his powers 18-20 years after the baby he had "dies", i think that would raise a lot of flags for him and would have him talking to PIF(whos memories of the birth would have also been tampered with) to figure if they have any actaul inconsistencies in the memories of that day.

then theres the option of mk being taken when hes 2 and wukong having all memories of anything to do with him taken, and never questioning why this random kid has his powers, and then mk is shown the scene with wukong and a baby, a baby thats very clearly not a normal monkey(something the scroll doesnt show wukong himself) and when he brings it up wukong is confused because hes never interacted with babies that werent part of the troop. this one also has PIF helping wukong through the birth of his child. but since mk wasnt taken until he was 2, her memories wouldnt be tampered with so she would remember where wukong doesnt, and wukong knows himself well enough that if he ever had a child theres only one person that he would trust to help him, so he would go to her and explain what was seen and what he doesnt remember.

[rarepairdumpster]

Titanic AU Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: PTSD talk, Old Man Yaoi, probably the sweetest death scene either of us have ever written

Silco teaching Viktor how to ride a horse, which he'd previously felt was inaccessible to him, but hey he survived a ship wreck, so he can do anything now.

Silco looking up at him with such heart eyes.

Viktor telling Silco "You saved me in all the ways a person can be saved."

"Who's being poetic now," Silco murmurs, but his chest is warm.

When they get to the states, Viktor ends up doing a lot of charity and volunteer work because of what he experienced.

He helps a lot with immigrants, particularly the Slavic ones.

Once a month, the two of them make their way to the nearest harbor, and let flowers drift off into the horizon, thinking about Sevika, and all the other lives lost.

Silco tears up every time, but it's never spoken of. Viktor just wraps his arms around him and tucks his face into Silco's shoulder.

The first month after, Silco whispers bitterly "Women and children first. Unless you're poor."

Viktor squeezes his hand. "There weren't enough boats to begin with. We were doomed from the start."

"It doesn't make it easier to swallow."

"Sometimes I wonder," Viktor admits softly, looking down at the water, "why we survived when so many did not."

Silco looks down at Viktor. "I like it think it's because we had each other. Finding the will to live is much easier when theres someone to live for."

Viktor looks up at him, reaches up and touches his face. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

Viktor old as shit, watching the nude sketch of him be uncovered on the news.

Silco being sad though because the frostbite affected his hands and he wasn't able to draw as well afterward.

He's torn up loads of subsequent sketches, angry, and maybe a little bitter, because this wouldn't have happened if those rich bastards didn't get rid of lifeboats in favour of promenade space.

Viktor is able to contact the finders and get the drawing back though.

He asks Silco what he wants to do with it, since it was the last thing he drew to his standards.

The finders: "It belongs in a museum--"

Viktor: "It belongs in my possession. I paid the artist for that work."

Viktor is annoyed that him and his wheelchair have to go and collect the piece in person.

Silco still has nightmares of Viktor being ripped from his grasp, and the nightmares become more frequent after seeing the news.

Viktor is always holding his hand when he wakes though.

Silco escorts Viktor to collect the sketch. Both of them dress warmly, old bones shying away from the wind gusting over the science vessel.

Viktor knows why they're going but Silco doesn't. He thinks it's just to give an interview.

Silco experiencing such emotion when he holds the sketch for the first time since he put charcoal to paper.

Silco smiles through his tears and glances at Viktor. "You still look just as beautiful"

Viktor gives a little huff of a laugh, cheeks warming with a blush. "Flatterer"

"I believe I'm holding proof my flattery works, darling," Silco chuckles.

Viktor rests a hand on his arm. "Oh, it does. If I was half my age...."

Silco winks at him and turns back to the drawing.

Meanwhile, the scientists around them are half-grossed, half-charmed by the literal Old Man Yaoi happening in front of them.

Silco and Viktor holding hands during the interview, comforting each other during the difficult parts. 

Viktor tears up when he describes Jayce backhanding him just for going to a party below decks.

Silco absolutely says, "The rich bastard was jealous that Viktor was happier in steerage with me, than surrounded by finery with him"

Viktor looks up at him and says "You were able to give me something no amount of money could ever buy" 

Then they kiss and half the crew goes awwwww

Silco murmurs against his lips, "Even after such a short time, I could see deeper into you than he ever could."

Imagine after the interview, when Silco and Viktor have retired to their quarters for the night, both of them anxious at sleeping on a ship again.

Imagine Silco lying on top of Viktor, kissing him sweetly, and Viktor sighing, tightening his arms around his shoulders.

"Seeing the old sketch," Silco sighs into his mouth, "it makes me wish we could...."

"Me too, my love."

They still slowly rock against each other, Viktor sighing sweetly into Silco's kisses.

They're achy and tired after, as if they just had a hard fuck.

"That was perfect" Viktor chuckles, panting.

"You're perfect."

Viktor starts to feel his eyes getting heavy. "I love you, always."

Silco, also sleepy, replies, "I love you too, darling. Always."

They don't wake up. They're found cradled in each other's arms, foreheads touching.

The photos from their life together, that they don't go anywhere without, are sitting on the dresser.

And the sketch ends up in a museum, along with their photos, as a lil shrine to their love.

Arch + Woods

[wheresyoureta]

some killjoys past headcanons part 2!!!! doing ghoul this time

last time i did the venom sibs and its my most popular post to this day so its time for my favourite little guy to be in the spotlight. i love him a lot okay

ghoul was born in a mexican family, who lived in the us close to the frontier. he had an older sister, a father and a mother.

ghoul was around four years old when BLI found them. his parents got killed but managed to get him and his sister to escape.

they catched them pretty quickly, though, and his sister got killed as well. they left him in the desert with some minor injuries, thinking he would die from dehydratation or get eaten by the rare animals that were still left in the desert at the time.

turns out he didnt. he somehow managed to stay alive. he barely knew how to talk, couldnt walk for long and had pretty much never interacted with people apart of his family.

he survived next years eating pretty much only trash, sleeping in the desert and running away from every people he saw from fear of being killed like his family. he got a lot of the scars he has to this day in thoses times

and one day, he met kobra.

if you didnt read my previous post and are too lazy to, kobra escaped gravel gerties (where he was living with party and jet and from where he had pretty much never gotten out) and got lost in the desert.

ghoul didnt know how to react when he saw kobra, but there was something about him- maybe the way he walked, slightly bent like he was scared of something, maybe the way his eyes darted from side to side like he didnt know where he was- he just knew kobra wasnt a threat.

ghoul treated human and animals the same way; and the best thing he thought of for making sure, completely sure that kobra wasnt dangerous was throwing an empty can down the hill, like for a dog, and when he saw that kobra actually went and got it, he got completely rid of any fear he had left.

ghoul didnt know how to talk. he remembered a few words of spanish, but all thoses years of being completely by himself made him forget pretty much everything.

kobra didnt really care, though. its not like he was good at talking either.

(also ghoul was around 14 at the time and kobra was 15)

they spent the next three months together, ghoul learning kobra how to survive (lots of the things he learned with ghoul saved his life later) and kobra learning ghoul how to do basic things like talk properly, act like a "civilized" person, etc

when kobra find his way back to gravel gerties, and found party and jet, ghoul thought he was going to be alone again. and weirdly, it terryfied him. because he had gotten used to kobras present, to the feeling of having someone watching your back, to the sensation of waking up and not being freezing cold, to have someone to hug. he didnt want to be alone.

and then kobra offered him to stay. and he just couldnt refuse, because he was tired, tired of having to worry about not being seen, tired to not know if you were going to eat next day, tired to not be able to really live.

and he accepted.

at first, ghoul was really startled by everything around- the people, mostly- but he got used to it. a lot was thanks to jet, who took special care of him, learning him to read and write and talk. and ghoul was happy, to have people who cared, people like party and jet and kobra.

he did have some troubles. he got in fights a lot, he has abandomnent issues and is scared of being alone. he has a lots of nightmares- and cant sleep in complete darkness.

he managed his anger by going to the zones fight ring. yes because i think theres a zone fight ring and if you disagree i will punch you

also he bites

(made this pretty quickly too so forgive me if theres mistakes)

[mira-rachel]

I really REALLY love hazbin hotel, truly! But i have many criticism, and i havent watched them yet.

No hate, but the concept of heaven and hell in this uh, universe is a bit... flawed, in a sense. I do enjoy the character design, and oh God does Helluva Boss scratch that itch in my mind- idk, it brings me happiness.

Im not even gonna touch on how some of it doesnt make sense in a religious perspective, this rant is solely on hell

Warning, i havent seen the show. But have seen the pilot and fanfics and headcannons lmao, feel free to correct me if im wrong!

Idk if this is true, but I heard that Angel Dust was a mafia before he died? And idk if he feels bad for all the poor souls he fluffed up, bcs i havent read or seen anything adressing it.

Truly, truly I love Angel Dust, like honey, I will str**gle Val for you, but do you actually want to repent 😭😭😭

And, if, IF he does go to heaven- will the residents even welcomed him? If redemption exist, then heaven needs to be on board with this. Not just the people in charge, but the citizens as well. If you just, thrust a sinner thats been 'redeemed' into heaven, and heaven didnt take notice until the redeemed appears at their doostep- how would the angels react?

Will that redeemed survive? Hell no. Well, depends. Whats their rules up in heaven? I hope season 2 showcase heaven's reactions, and maybe Emily will be fed up and join the demons down bellow??? That would be cool!!!

Ehm,back to the disscussion.

Keep in mind that I havent seen the show, but I have A LOT of qustions about redemption- bcs its so much complicated if you think about it, plus, redemptiom in hell??? Boy we gotta set up some rules.

First, what is redemption actually???

Redemption is-

an act of atoning for guilt, a fault, or a mistake, or the state of having atoned. an act or the state of being rescued. 

According to this

Im just going to use this meaning, bcs theres different meanings and i want to save the headache.

Basing off of this, you could argue that someone is redeemed by being rescued- which is uhm, unsual if your rescuer is the daughter of Lucifer, the next queen of hell. Hello?? I mean, in some swap aus, Adam being the one to 'rescue' the sinners make sense bcs he was a human too, like those sinners, he must've know(I assumed) the pain sinners go through. And, if we make the plot like 'oh heaven can make mistakes' then actually find a sinner thaat has little to no criminal background and is very 'angelike' and is someone who wants to change for the better, AND ACTUALLY GIVE THAT CHARACTER A MONOLOGUE ABOUT THEIR PAST AND THEM ACTUALLY WANTING TO FIX THEIR MISTAKES-

And question, if someone wants to be redeemed, and they are in hell, do whatever crimes and sins they did in hell will be hold accountable???

As I said, if you want to make redemption make sense, it has many complex layers...

Okay okay, im being sidetracked-

Charlie, the daughter of Lucifer being a 'rescuer' doesnt really make sense in Hazbin Hotel, UNLESS, she once had a sinner friend who goes through so much in the real world, but end up getting fluffed and end up in hell, where they met Charlie and still go so much, but was killed(either by angels or other demons). AFTER THAT, then the idea that Charlie, a hellborn who never felt what humans/sinners felt make sense to want to make sinners repent so that they dont feel what her sinner friend feel.

THAT, would be an amazing concept to explore. A hellborn whose sheltered all her life, met a sinner who goes through the toughness of life, then they bond over... anything, something, and learned about eachother. The sinner has hope that there is a better future, while the hellborn realizes theres more than meets the eye and that they're perception of reality has been scewed.

If Charlie advocats for hellborn's rights, then it still make sense bcs she IS an hellborn, and knows a bit of what her people suffered. Hell, Vaggie being her right hand man would only make it make sense, since Vaggie was a former angel, then she can give Charlie insights of heaven.

Thats all for my rent, bcs am very tired rn and i have so much to do and eheosjksskdnsk

See yall next time, bye~☆

[ritualcaster]

Im a man of my word.

DAY 1.

Although I'm writing this down, it's only a courtesy to any who may find this journal. Today Isn't something I think I'll ever forget.

We got lucky. Oh so very lucky. The trains were still running when I sent for Cattail and our colleauges in high society, most of them managed to make it out before the rings were declared a quarantine zone. That said, we didn't get everybody, and not nearly enough either. Cattail hasn't left the guest bedroom I lent him since he got here, he didn't have time to go back for Eden or his wife so I can hardly say I'd fare any better.

For some reason, Fossil stayed behind willingly, presumably to research and possibly find a cure. If anybody can do that, its her. Our communications were cut by rioters before she could fully explain.

We had no response from carrot.

DAY 20.

Theres nothing i can do from here except

Trek there by foot and lead my own rescue mission.

Push has advised against it... strongly...

I can't just leave them.

I have supplies for 2 months.

DAY 23.

Cattail was already packed when I went to tell him I was leaving. I wasn't able to convince him otherwise, but I won't deny I'm happy to have his help.

Cattail knows those outskirts better than anybody. I'm glad we're both omnivores.

Cattail and I fully planned this mission from top to bottom with 3 main goals in mind, save "Eden" and her best friend, dynamite, collect data on the situation, and find at least one sample to bring back.

I originally planned to set up more reliable contact with fossil as well, but Cattail decided traveling into high society would be too dangerous and limited me to as far as the middle ring. To be truthful, I was not expecting him to be this level headed, all things considered.

If possible, although dangerous, we will attempt to bring back other surviviors from the center ring as well.

DAY 24.

We set out for travel today, and, to go back on my word, we did not set out on foot.

Who doesn't love a good off-roading trip in a car that may-or-may-not belong to your boss?

DAY 26.

We can see the rings from here.

We will not be traveling to the center ring.

DAY 28.

We parked the jeep near the wall and decided to climb instead of using the main entrance to avoid rioters and a paniced mob, Cattail and I decided to split up for exactly 24 hours, and meet back here, I suggested it because I was worried Cattail wouldn't survive an encounter with whatever these things are.

DAY 29.

They got my fucking eye.

Excuse my profanity.

I managed 2 different samples

The first was by far less dangerous, I stalked one for about 4 hours, and managed to catch what seems to be some kind of maggot that fell off of it as it rounded a corner.

The second was stationary it was completley different than the first, with multiple roaming around it, almost gaurding it as i observed from the rooftop.

But even more worriesome were the "spikes", maybe "stingers"? Regardless, I watched a crow get a little too close, they both lunged at it midair and before long the crow was nothing but rotting flesh.

I should have backed down there, but I was determined, I took the crossbow from my bag, I only brought one bolt, not expecting this kind of foe. With two paper clips, a rubberband, and a long piece of stitching thread from the medkit I managed to create something extrordinary, a crossbow bolt with two paper clips on it. It was enough to get a small sample, so i don't think it mattered. I climbed down from the roof top, carefully avoiding the ones roaming around, and staying well out of reach of the stingers, I fired the bolt at the main structure, then yanked it back with the thread, as for how I lost my eye, every single one that was roaming around the structure made a beeline for mee as soon as the bolt hit the main structure. I "shelled up" a little too late. After attacking me for what seemed like years, the parasites eventually left me alone.

I'm never coming back here again.

DAY 30.

I didn't realize the full extent of the damage I took yesterday until i was done writing, they didn't just get my eye, they cracked the back of my shell aswell. I must have been in shock because this is incredibly painful. My shell has taken hits from bears, beastials, and once even a "false king" on my missions and never once has my shell taken any damage more than a scratch.

Cattail managed to find the two we came for, albiet not in the best state. Eden looked so different that i originally didn't recognize her, and not just in the maturity sense, she had apperently completely changed forms multiple times since I last saw her, I always assumed Cattail was exagerating, but this truly isnt normal even for her object type. I'll have to talk with her about that later.

We made it back to the jeep and from there we were home free, just a three day drive back.

DAY 32.

Those kids apperently worked up an appetite because we ended up having to forage multiple times. We packed for *two months* what happened to these two?

I tried making conversation, but all three of them seemed to be out of it, even more so than myself!

DAY 33.

It's worse than i thought

We arrived home and unpacked, but as soon as the two walked inside cattail pulled me aside and told me what had happened too them in such a short amount of time. How it spread so quickly terrified me, and i later checked the samples, which had both "died".

I feel horrible for not leaving earlier.

Its a lot harder than you'd think to write with one eye. I'll leave these three alone for awhile while i get my eye fixed, they need time.

DAY 34.

I got in contact with pin, and they respawned me in treatment as a quick fix as per push' suggestion. My eye was fixed but for some reason I still had all my scars and my shell had visible "fuse" lines.

When I asked about it they shrugged.

I need a better doctor.

Day 35.

I woke up in push' office, I talked with push in person, and she told me the goverment of reaching gardens is seizing my samples, but push should still have a say over what happens to them from her position.

I don't know what I was expecting really.

I'll stay with push for now, They need space.

DAY 36.

Who knew push could cook?

Anyway after we studied the sample all we could see was printer materials and not much else. Honestly if these things are made by terminals Fossil might actually have a chance, esspecially with carrot helping her! Luckily already cut off the terminals from the rings, we got readings they weren't functioning properly and cut the connection weeks before the outbreak. Who knows what would hablve happened if we didnt.

With just these two samples and limited knowledge om terminal coding and function, this is all the research we can do for now

DAY 37.

I asked cattail for updates today, and they had gone to court without telling me. Accirding to Cattail dynamite had snuck out shortly after i left and confessed to an officer, but all charges the were dropped as soon as they heard he was from the rings.

I can only imagine how guilty he must feel.

I began planning a second "rescue mission" with push. I may not enjoy it but I'm obligated regardless.

DAY 38.

Neither of us slept at all.

We're looking to rescue as many people as legally and physically possible but with our sparce resources the most we're looking at

Is two helicopters and a few ground vehicles.

I called shotgun

DAY 39.

With each passing minute i'm getting more and more anxious to leave. I won't let this situation progress any further.

Push managed to haggle the government into three times the resources if we bring back a live sample, but i have no idea how we'll make it into center ring let alone high society even with those resources.

DAY 40.

Everything is in place to leave

We're bringing extra food this time

Cattail decided to stay here with mushroom and dynamite after I urged him these resources were plenty and his help wasn't needed.

I may have been too harsh, I'm not good at lying.

DAY 41.

Writing [???] helicopter [???]

[??????]

they [???] really big tank

[????????????????]

DAY 44.

I apologize for my previous notes, the "tank" i mentioned is a glass tank they gave us last second for the live sample, its very small so I have no idea how we'll manage. Perhaps my eyesight hasn't fully recovered quite yet, but writing from a helicopter is surprisingly difficult.

The land party went in though the gate this time, they were armed, but for the most part it was seemingly empty.

This mission is going WAY better than last time so far, we're already just outside the center ring!

DAY 45.

Our radios picked up a short message,

But it went to static to quickly to understand or respond, they reffered to these things as "parasites" which seems much more accurate than "those things" so I'll use that from now on.

When we first got into the center ring, our windows fogged up completely, we actually had to land. typically the rings arent nearly this humid.

We decided to set up camp at the center ring, that way if things go south, we can too! So far, no survivors, we have gunned down about three of these things now, but we switched to a handheld flamethrower push brought (???) Because the noise was attracting parasites and possibly scaring off survivors.

That radio signal gave me an idea though

DAY 45.

Push's flamethrower has been incredibly effective at keeping them at bay while I broadcasted our location over the radio with a short message about the situation.

The first too arrive was a group of 5.

4 adults, one child.

When they arrived the set up their own section of camp without a word. One of them was severely injured, but we fixed him up ok. He'll live for now.

That kid and her chalk is getting pretty annoying.

DAY 46.

I suggested we move into high society but push was against it. Shes the one rrunning this mission so I couldn't really argue.

We had 2 seperate groups of survivors arrive today, but they seemed to know each other. Why is everything with these survivors so complicated?

The first too arrive were two girls that I was afraid to make eye contact with. They were a lot more talkative then the previous group, I explained that we were a rescue party from reaching gardens, they offered too help defend camp while we waited for more survivors.

The second group was much larger, and all three groups keep giving each other dirty looks. They all seem to know each other and not in a good way. Im debating leaving these guys if we get over crowded...

DAY 46

We were debating whether or not it was time to try and capture one alive when a smaller fellow wandered in, and I do mean wandered, he's the only one that not here from the radio signal.

We were warned by two of the previous groups about him, but not in any particular way, just that he was somehow more dangerous than he looked. With thise warnings in mind, I gladly put him in the tank. Temporarily of course. I picked him up with one hand to do so, I am unsure if this guy is dangerous in any way, but better safe than sorry...

DAY 47.

We were almost at max capacity and debating leaving and coming back later, when we were alerted by one of the pilots that something was coming, A massive horde of parasites was headed directly for us, but even more importantly just ahead of the massive horde was a jeep going faster than i have ever seen a jeep go.

Fossil you crazy bastard.

She made it too us well before the horde did, and we left immedeatly.

I avoided writing this one until we landed.

DAY 50.

We made it back, and with bullets to spare.

I was getting tired of gunshots.

We didnt manage to get a live sample though, so Push is about to have to pay so much money.

I kept that weirdo in the tank, maybe he's enough of a specimen.

DAY 51.

He was a specimen.

We scanned everybody for infectiom when we got back using an invention of fossils.

He was the only one who came up positive.

My luck has come though a suspicious amount of times now...

DAY 52.

That weirdo, "Wagyu" he said, is probably the strangest person I have ever met. Although, considering the circumstances, that does make sense.

From what we can tell, wagyu isnt infected quite like the others, for some reason, the thousands of parasites crawling all over him won't mutate him at all.

[hurrakka]

oh man. theoretically in a l4d au luis would've helped develop the green flu yeah? sure it's a naturally occurring virus in l4d canon (maybe. we're not really sure where it comes from cus ceda doesnt say shit but ellis mentions the government using bio-bombs in one of his keith stories so it could be a bioweapon?) but this is an au we can do what we want.

anygays im just imagining leon getting infected. we know better-safe-than-sorry-guy (i call him scout cus his va is the same as scout from tf2) is human when we first find him but experiencing extreme paranoia and some compulsions then a few minutes later he fully turns, going from able to speak and function to choking and growling and fully mutated (either into a hunter, boomer, or smoker) so there's always the possibility of a rapid transformation too. im thinking leon falling behind a bit while theyre walking because he's coughing and chokin and shit n he falls to his knees and luis is all like "bro whats wrong!!" and he gets to watch as leon Turns Before His Eyes. even better if he turns into a hunter cus if you look closely at their models they don't have eyes. we can't be exactly sure what Happens to their eyes when they turn but the two most popular headcanons are both equally brutal-- either Luis has to watch Leon's eyes quite literally melt out of his skull or he gets to watch him claw his own eyes out. Fun!

BUT there's graffiti in one of the safe rooms arguing over how long it actually takes to turn-- whether it's 20 minutes, 2 hours, overnight, or some other wacky chunk of time. so there's also the thought of Leon turning slowly. progressively becoming irritable and irrational and confused and him slipping in and out of conciousness for days until Luis goes to check his temp one day and he fucking Lunges.

and if leon turns and luis makes it out alive imagine the Guilt. he feels awful enough in re4 canon when there's a cure,,, but the green flu mutates too often to develop a proper cure for it. if leon gets infected and he isnt immune then he's just. done. theres nothing that can help him at that point. and luis already feels so goddamn guilty about the millions of people he's killed and now leon's gone too and he cant help but visualize every single person who had somebody ripped from them by his hands.

oh man and if luis has to put leon down? its joever. that man would Never recover. i dont even know if he'd keep trying to survive at that point. maybe just for that shred of hope of developing a cure (even though he knows it'd be damn-near impossible but it's the only thing hes got, dammit) and stopping this whole disaster.

coughs. sorry for the rambling i simply have been obsessed with l4d for going on 12 years now so <3

I had to lay down for a moment bc of the feels and potential outcomes in the event luis lives on while leon well...yeah (thinkin abt how buddy from re damnation would jus turn as well since leon is no longer there and that made me big sad dgkrnekhbfgnjklh) Since the re verse has like morbillion viruses, the green flu existing would be plausible so its just another stonks moment for umbrella lol. But yeah luis would absolutely be devastated. He probably doesnt have the guts to pull the trigger, least he can do is to restrain leon for a while and tries to find whatever humanity he has left in his nonexistent eyes. Tho in my witch!leon hc I think luis may have a chance to keep leon around??? Since witches seem to have the most humanity among the infected (and thats not saying much) he could probs observe him a lil bit without getting eaten right away. It would just be a warm bodies scenario ngl (i just watched that movie recently so this is huge copium dksfghbshgndfh) Honestly Im glad l4d fandom still alive after all these years. That game will always be goated and it was one of my high-school obsessions. I used to do crossover stuff back then and Im back to doing it now. Time rly do be a flat circle

[tendebill]

Bro, what do you think would have happened if the other ancient mages' hibernation crystals weren't broken??

[oc]

hi, ive been thinking about this for a while now and i couldn't come up with a satisfying answer, but i was struck by inspiration yesterday.

so, basically, at one point a few years ago i came up with the idea of Huen having a sister? i mean, when i first created them they were a package deal (with her sister being the older, calm one and Huen being the crazy, kinda evil one), but then i retconned the sister and then brought her back again. at some point i decided that Huen's sister would have been hibernated with Huen and her other mage buddies, but now i kinda forgot about it/threw that idea away? it just doesn't add anything and honestly, Huen having family members... not in love with that idea. rn the canon is that she was raised in a monestary with no parental figures except the healer mages that taught her magic, with the other children being her "brothers and sisters" but in like a... spiritual way?

anyway, IF the sister still exitsed and HAD IN FACT been hibernated with Huen... I think it could have been interesting if she had been the one to survive the hibernation? it completely throws the story off and could be a fun AU? and believe me, i have created some fun AUs in my time (Villain!Seph, Villain!David, an AU where David dies instead of Maria, an AU where Seph goes on a killing spree at one point, Au where Seph dies early on in the story, Slivern!Seph too, theres a bunch of em, most extra angsty for my enjoyment).

so, Huen sister would become a hermit for sure. i always imagined her as very... etherial? the kind of person that never gets angry, never raises their voice, never gets involved in conflict. kinda opposite of Huen? a soothing and calming presence, instead of being scary and dominant. i think she would become an urban legend. an ancient healer that walks the land and heals those deemed impossible to save, offering help to anyone she can and dissappearing before they can pay her back for her help. but that also depraves the story of a villain (and i only call Huen a villain on principle, i mostly call her that cuz that's how Ellie sees her, as the "villain of their story").

the story would be... so much different? i don't even know where to start with all the changes. it would either become a story where Nicolas is the villain, or Seph is the villain. without anyone to counteract Nick in the senate (like Huen would have normally), his schemes are pretty much never threatened, until Seph uncovers the truth at the end of chapter 1? and then he doesn't really have anywhere to go? because canonically he goes to Huen for help after that point. here his options would be David/Maffi or maybe Angelica? That being said, in this version Maria would probably never die, because Seph would never have to attack David's palace with Huen. also, would NICK DIE??? cuz Huen is the one to kill him in chapter 2, so this could mean that Nicolas is in the story longer than normally. maybe it would be Seph who killed him, or maybe he would survive for the whole story?

i like the idea of him still being involved with Ellie and TIME when Sephoras comes back and the tensions that could cause. having the two of them go against one another, where everyone still trusts Nick, but doesn't trust Seph anymore, so he isn't really in a good spot to expose Nick's lies? also this AU could have Seph and David being brothers WITHOUT THE TRAUMA??? CUZ MARIA NEVER DIES????? god that feels weird to think about. they could be so happy. unless I made some other horrible thing happen to make them hate each other in canon.

anyway, if Huen's sister who only exists for the purpose of speculation was the one to survive, the story would just be.... the story minus Huen with a mysterious healer roaming the land? still fun to think about though. and tbh its hard to say what would have happened if any of the other healers survived, because I haven't really developed them into real characters? i never thought them important enough to include and to give personalities or anything, since Huen doesn't even feel that bad about them being dead. that being said maybe i should re-fresh that part of the story, maybe make it so Huen only knew one or two out of the six (?) hibernated people? so she's indifferent to the rest of them? i never wanted to make a big deal out of her being the only survivor. or, i never wanted her to be too bothered by the others dying. and while it would be easy to excuse with "she doesn't care about other people", i want to make it a bit deeper than that?

if all seven survived tho.... the simplest answer would just be to say that Huen recruits them to work for her, either right away or later on. so they go their separate ways, but when Huen establishes Balance she seeks them out and recruits them, which would kind of make them.... undefeatable to the main cast? one ancient healer mage (Huen) was bad enough and it took 6 chapters to defeat her. imagine what 7 of them fuckers could do. i call this the "main cast gets fucking bodied within the first two chapters or less" AU!

ok im done. thank u for the question as alwayssss <33333 i love talking about my silliessssss!! no idea if this makes any sense tho i am a bit sleepy

[grymmnox]

weekly fic recs #38

its totally saturday and not sunday. mhm

fandom(s): red dead redemption 2

ship(s): vandermatthews, i don't think theres anything else

Oneshots

The Bond of Iniquity; cowboygamehell - red dead redemption

general audiences | 4.3k words summary: A silly, vaguely meta one-shot in which the gang agrees that Arthur Morgan is spiraling out of control and stages an intervention of sorts. Inspired by a recent slog through the Gambler Challenges in yet another 100% playthrough.

I expect you'll betray me in the end; aloom - red dead redemption

general audiences | 3.4k words | arthur & hosea, arthur & dutch, arthur & john summary: "I expect you'll betray me in the end, Arthur. You're the type." --- Hearing Dutch say that in camp dropped me. Immediately wanted to know what Hosea would have to say about it so here we are.

antagonism & altruism; Accidie - red dead redemption

teen and up | 5.8k words | arthur & dutch, arthur & hosea, dutch & hosea, a bit of dutch/hosea, arthur & dutch & hosea | READ TAGS summary: Hosea and Dutch don't take kindly to being robbed, kid or not. -- In which the relationship between Hosea, Dutch and Arthur has a hostile start.

gifts & grouches; Accidie - red dead redemption

general audiences | 1.9k words | dutch/hosea, arthur & dutch, arthur & hosea summary: The curious couple and their unruly son share a cabin during the winter. In which the bed is warm, the outside is cold, and Arthur complains about the unfairness of his chores all morning.

You and Me Together, We'll Survive; Aylwyyn228 - red dead redemption

mature | 4.9k | arthur & dutch, arthur & hosea, dutch & hosea, arthur & dutch & hosea | handles Arthur's past, so, be aware of that summary: “You know, ‘thank you’ is more usual, when someone saves you from a beatin’.” The kid stuck his chin up. “I can take a beatin’.” From the look of him, Dutch would say that was true. And maybe he was just a scrapper, but still, Dutch didn’t like to think of a kid gettin’ beat on. Or, how Arthur met Dutch and Hosea.

Who In Their Right Mind Would Look For More?; Aylwyyn228 - red dead redemption

mature | 5k words | dutch/hosea, arthur & dutch, arthur & hosea | READ TAGS summary: Arthur had been riding with Dutch and Hosea for near on four months now, and sure, he liked 'em well enough. But he just couldn't work them out. He’d thought at first that they were brothers, before he’d overheard enough conversations to disprove that theory. He didn’t have any real basis for how brothers acted with each other, of course, but… They were just… just real comfortable with each other. More comfortable than Arthur could imagine being with anyone who wasn’t family. Not that he had a whole lot of experience on that count either… Or, Arthur is more oblivious than Dutch and Hosea gave him credit for, but he gets there eventually.

Completed Fics

the future will take care of itself; adjourn - red dead redemption

teen and up | 33.1k words, 4 chapters summary: In which Arthur becomes a famous artist entirely by accident, and everything turns out alright.

[dualityvn]

Not me having 0 thoughts on how to write this because I need to play the demo first and I still dont know how Keith and TenTen body works. So please bear with me. Or dont read this.

How to survive if Keith and TenTen decide to kidnap you:

Note: This is really hard since Keith already said that they will not do kidnapping. Its either you love them or you love them. (Talk about the fair choices here Keith) But since im stubborn, im gonna force them to kidnap me :)

NEW KINK UNLOCKED: Kidnapping (noooooo!)

Back to the regular program:

Plan A.

1. If ever these two bois decide to kidnap us, they will be probably locked us up on our room or their own room. They want us to be comfy. (I just dont want to give them an idea to use the basement, coz im done with basement) so be comfy, smell Keith's plant and play Tenten videogames.

2.Again, I cant stress this enough but we need to COOPERATE. Between Keith and Ten, I trust Tenten more. I know he can be violent but there something sinister when Keith is pissed.

3.So dont do anything that may result of Keith being pissed.

4.If you can, try to gain Tenten trust. Tenten is the more reasonable one here (i think) but again, its up to you on who you most comfortable with. One of them can be the voice of reason and will probably convinced the other to free you.

5.If you are lucky enough, maybe they will let you out. MISSION SUCCESS FINALLY (this is the 1st! *small dance*)

I dont think theres anything to add since the only way to get your freedom is by convincing them to free you.

But again, stubborn MC here:

Plan B

1. PISSED KEITH appeared: Dont go near him. Dont even talk to him. Be quiet. You need TenTen to be your bestie here. If Tenten is not there, avoid Keith at all cost. ANGRY KEITH = IMMENENT DANGER

2.Same with Angry TenTen. Go with Keith. They will not hurt you, but we dont want any NPC to get hurt just because of us. (Rip to the pizza delivery guy, sorry man. We're in the middle of kidnapping here)

3.If they are both angry with you, stay in your place. Wait until their anger subside. World peace will be back soon.

4.You know, just give up. You can convince them to let you go but you can never get rid of them. (Im not complaining 😁)

Okay, just want to clear things up *slowly fixing my eyeglasses*. Im not having favoritism here (bitch you have, dont deny) but im more on Tenten on this one rather than Keith. Tenten is an open book, when hes angry, hes angry. While Keith is truly complicated, you dont know when he is his true self. Like he is a god Tier when it comes to Manipulation. You cant even read what his thinking. (But I still love you Keith okay? We just need to get to know the real you, i mean real real). Tenten is like "if you dont love me, then go" while Keith is "you dont love me? No, you love me, you're just shy to admit it". But hey, every MC is different, you do you :) After all, we have one common goal here: suffocate these two with our love 😍

And this the end of my Survival Tips :D we can survive these boys, dont worry. But who said escaping? *evil laugh*

On the side note, between Friend's and Nova's survival guide, this is the most serious one 😆

Im out!

Rest in pieces (literally) pizza delivery guy 😔

Also you guys place so much trust in Tenebris, lmao. We'll see if that's still the case once the demo is out.

This was very entertaining to read, thank you

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[seth-burroughs]

czynś czecia: (last one!!)

nice submarine dude ok now how tell me exactly on a scale from 1-10 how stuffy is the air in there. and how much does it cost you yearly to maintain that shit. and can it even do the swim.

holy shit its the gang!!!! fubuki and halara and the other two!!!

lets see if im still gonna hate vivia just as much as i did when i first watched it... i feel like now that i have been through dazai bsd i can get through anything. vivia is nothing compared to dazai bsd.

they do not fucking care lmao

i missed halara's og voice...... though i'm not sure whether i prefer the english or the japanese one.......they sound. Very different.

halara x seth x swank where they bond over money

both of desuhiko's va on the other hand sound veryyy similiar

i love how yakou is just. Silently listening the entire time Desuhiko, Fubuki and Halara engage in acts of considerable tomfoolery

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

every single person (and especially the youtubers) who were so fucking mean to Fubuki for some reason (we know what it is) should apologize right now while they still have the chance

halara should have overthrown yakou by like, the second chapter tbh. i don't even think he'd even put up that much of a fight

we can take him.

oh yeah i forgot about vivia's "i wanna die someday" bit. dw that can be arranged

i wonder what was desuhiko's personal "train massacre moment" that we talked about earlier, especially since it looks like he at the same time both 1) doesn't do well with blood and murder and the like and 2) the "everyone on the train died beside you? that sucks. had i been on the amaterasu express i wouldve solved it before anything had gone down. damn, missed the chance to show off my superstar self." line which im pretty sure he wouldn't have ever said if he actually saw a corpse on his trip. personally i think that at least he solved the murder plot on his route before anything had the chance to go down. but because there were supposed to be multiple mds on all of the routes as far as i remember, i also like to think both he and Fubuki were there together. just the two of them

me too shinigami

would it be controversial of me to say that i don't really care for the agency. at least as a group (halara and fubuki are fine). my soul has been sold to shinigami, kurumi, amaterasu corp and fake zilch and maybe its also the yomi brain that makes me see them all as an annoying pest infestation instead of the actual mcs lmao

wait speaking of the wdo. how did yakou manage to get that fucking phone that could reach outside kw and not be spied on. hw did he. how did he get it

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

"uh, i think you're just forgetful" yakou that is not normal. yakou if you think that's normal then i think we should have both of you checked maybe

oh wait halara and desuhiko were the ones who arrived early..... now im just thinking that halara was the one to solve the Evil Plot on their route on their own and desuhiko was taking all the credit the whole time

shinigami <3

the wdo is probably not the only organization hiring people with these powers, or "forensic fortes" in their case (that they help hone, they aren't born with these specific abilities but just exhibit signs). there is probably like, a military or scientific market for those too, and if the wdo are the only ones in the world with the permit to do all that then theres bound to be some illegal shit going on in secret in other groups. but like, these powers/"paranormal dispositions" explicitly aren't exclusive to the wdo. we don't even know how common they actually may be and if most people who have them are even aware they're not just normal. anyway

everyone keeps calling yakou old but he looks so young.

oh god i forgot the skank bit with fubuki and shinigami too. help me survive this

no1 double videochat time

old man time. why does he have the homesfuck sharpie bath complexion. why is everyone in this game either white or gray except for dominic but not really he's also really gray . i would blame this on the lack of sunlight and shit but this is not just a kanai ward resident thing. yes i know this is probably like an aesthetic choice i don't care shut up now

just sitting there listening to all of this.. nobody tell them

ah yeah the creed

"is that true master" "i don't remember at all" fgsdfgdsgssdfhakejsfaysjkhg.

and the pose... that double had a blast pretending to be number one back then

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

never not gonna laugh at yuma's prey animal stare. mouseboy

oh i forgot yuma just started fucking writing poetry at the start/end of the chapte- YAKOU READING THE NOTE SPOTTED!!!!!!!! THE. THE NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgot hellectro duo appear that early on at that point and started choking on my own tongue. this is not an exaggeration. help me survive this and go back to the tab............... good lird.......

when :DDDD police brutality <33333

i might need time to recover spiritually .

KURUMI SPOTTED

MAKOTO SPOTTED??? THAT EARLY?????

The. Oh god the fucking restricted area i forgot they were just showed in the prologue sjdgfdsjdgdsj. they were right there.... and we all collectively forgot about it. if you say that you remembered this scene then you are a nasty liar. you forgor. accept it already

Finally the intro lets go!!!!!

goddamn it i got yomi jumpscared again. stop doing this to me you know this is bad for my tortured stress organs goddamn it (do not be worried about me once i get to chapter 1 ending............)

aaaaaaand that is all for the prologue :3333333 we have got through it!!!! at last!!!!!

continuation of my mdarc rewatch but from the ch0 ending and onwards instead because it was stressing me out too much. blissfully ignoring fzilch's entire existence anyway here comes yakou-

once again im so glad im watching this in jp dub again because i don't think i could survive if eng yakou opened his mouth and i just heard fuckinbg. dubbing dazai.

can someone tell my goddamn muscles to stOP tensing up whenever rejn kołd kanaj łard mentioned . getting the twitches again >:(

yuma peril we love to see it. also i will never stop making fun of his stupid fucking phallus haircut

i don't remember if ive said this before but japanese shinigami >>>>>>>>> english shinigami

i spot a faint trace of a seth thumbnail in the corner and start blushing and kicking my feet uncontrollably. imagining him getting his limbs ripped off

good fucking lord. oh my fucking god. jesus christ, motherfucker. my first statement aged like fucking milk i cannot take this anymore jp dub yakou has the same voice as jp dub nikolai bsd fuck my stupid baka life why do i bother. what the fuck.

huh. maybe the yomiakou mfs were onto something after all. his swagless demeanor just now has charmed me significantly.

i like how in the game his description lists his ability as "a flair for negotiation", makes him negotiate exactly once during his introduction and then he never does it again

i am not giggling at yakou furio rain code. leave me alone. i am not. IM NOT. GO AWAY. I CANNOT CONTROL MY VOICEBOX JACKASS..

"he managed to turn away the peacekeepers, so he must be in high standing" hahahaha. hahahaha. no sorry yuma i think thats just pretty privilege on his part. once again shinigami ends up being 100% correct somehow

aaaah i still really like yuma's jpn voice especially when he's stressed or screaming. makes me want to throw him down the stairs

its so pretty in here why would anyone want to leave anyway lol. when all the remaining nations explode each other kanai ward will be the only city still standing and we will flourish and thrive. also in the station(?) theres a poster with a rainbow on it so obviously its gay paradise too what more do yall fucking want

detectivephobia mention counter: 1

thats all for today i fear op is not strong enough for rhis shit,

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

[acourtofsnakes]

Kov’nyn - Rogue, Chapter 13| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: The night after Din rescued you from your nightmare, you realise you have a lot to think about… and you might just reach a decision that could change your fate. 

Word count: 7k+

Warnings: None I think, in this one. Like one swear? Weapons/knives – not used in violence - Mainly just soft fluffy times! 

AN: This one is pretty gentle, nothing super big really happening. I thought I’d give you all a rest after the rollercoaster of the last chapter~

Also, time to play Spot The Easter Egg again!! Theres a quote in here from Six of Crows... can you find it?

Gif belongs to me♥︎

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran| 9: E’tad | 10: Tome | 11: Aliit ori'shya tal'din| 12: Mar’eyce | 13: Kov’nyn| 

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey​ @what-iwish-you-knew​ @queenofthefaceless​

Mando’a Translation: Kov'nyn  - Keldabe kiss

You stirred to the feeling of a pleasantly heavy arm resting over your torso. 

You froze, body going rigid on instinct at feeling the intrusion. Further inspection revealed a leg slung over yours and you could feel the line of armour digging into your calf. 

Armour?

Oh. Of course.

The Mandalorian. 

The previous night came flooding back to you in full technicolour, sending a slow wave of heat across your skin and relaxing your body. You remembered the horror of your nightmare, and then the Mandalorian coming in, soothing you, laying with you and then…

Everything that happened after. 

It didn’t even take that much concentration to imagine his hands again, those delightful touches. The husky roughness of his voice as he praised you, coaxed you to the edge and held you as you tumbled over. 

And then… he told you his name. 

He had given you a part of himself, something that was so poignant and personal. It made him who he was, gave him his identity and separated him from “The Mandalorian.” 

Din Djarin. 

Din. 

It was a gorgeous name. Simple, to the point. 

You had to admit, it suited him in that sense. But it felt like starlight on your tongue, and it was yours. He had given it to you, entrusting you with such a precious part of himself. 

In your opinion, tt was as significant as taking off his helmet, and it had settled in a place tucked against your heart, curled there and warmed you from the inside out. 

Din was still asleep next to you – you assume -  on his side. You had since rolled onto your back in the night, which did mean you were precariously close to the edge of the bed. 

Din hadn’t moved at all, presumably used to having to be still from all the times he spent wedged into the medical bay compartment on his side, with no room to move and Grogu in his hammock above him.

You could get used it, waking up with him. 

The modulator in his helmet allowed you to hear the soft, deep rhythm of his breathing and his armour had warmed overnight where it lay against your skin. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you woke up next to someone and had such an immense feeling of safety and comfort. 

This truly was home – wherever the Mandalorian was. 

Wherever Din was. 

You weren’t sure how long you laid there for, but you did know you were staring to get uncomfortable. The thin mattress – if you could even call it that – was irritating you, making you feel a little restless in this position. 

You could feel Din’s hand against your side, but you weren’t sure if his hands were still bare or not. Sleep had taken you before him, so you weren’t awake to witness him pulling them back on. 

You didn’t dare look properly, not wanting to lay your eyes on his bare skin, to break his Creed. So, you opened your eyes to slits, carefully peering across the room and you didn’t see any sign of his gloves. 

You tried to concentrate, to see if you could feel if he had his gloves back on. The blanket and your top didn’t really provide much help in that matter, naturally. 

Maybe you could wriggle a little? See if that did anything?

Of course, you could touch his hands, and then you would know. But the two times you had felt his bare skin previously, he was awake, and you had his consent. He was asleep, and therefore couldn’t tell you if it was okay or not.  

Wriggling it is. 

You began your movement, gently squirming with your hips shuffling side to side, to see if that would provide any knowledge on the matter – not that you thought it would. Truthfully, you didn’t know what you were doing. It was possible your brain still hadn’t engaged after being thoroughly wrecked last night in all ways. 

Unfortunately, a bed that was barely wide enough for you, combined with wriggling around and trying not to wake Din… Well, there was only one way it could end. 

With you dumped on the cold, metal floor. 

And taking the blanket with you. 

And yelping in surprise. 

“Cyar'ika?”

So much for not waking Din up. 

You groaned, rubbing your elbow where you had landed on it and then tried to untangle yourself from the blanket. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

The helmet appeared over the side of the bed, “Don’t be, I was already awake. What are you doing on the floor?” 

You rose to your knees and sighed, resting your chin on the edge of the cot, “I was uncomfortable, and I wanted to move, but I didn’t want to open my eyes in case you didn’t have your gloves on. And I didn’t know you were awake.”

Din tilted his head at you, “And that made you fall out of the bed?”

Resting the urge to stick your tongue out at him, you shook your head, “No, I was…” Here we go, “I was trying to feel if you had them on. Without touching you.”

Din was silent. 

It sounded like he sucked in a breath to speak, only to let it out again. 

He made a thoughtful noise. “I see. So… Instead of turning your cheek against my hand which was under your head by the way, you instead decided to try and… wriggle.. to feel my hand.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, having completely not realised his arm was still beneath your neck. “Yes.”

“Through the blanket.”

“Yes.”

“And your top.”

“… Yes.”

Din made a thoughtful noise again, “I see.” 

Then he started laughing, that gorgeous, rare sound that he had made only a few times in your presence. Sure, you sometimes got a chuckle, but this laugh was like liquid honey. 

Even if it was at your expense. 

“Hey!” You crossed your arms, trying not to laugh too, “Do not laugh at me! It’s your fault! You were awake and watched me struggle!”

The laughter still echoed out of the helmet as he laid back, a hand on his chest, “For someone who has so much grace in everyday life, you are terrible when it comes to night-time and early morning.” 

You rose to your feet this time, pushing your weight onto one leg and copying his ‘hands on hips’ pose, “Oh, because you’re so smooth?” You stuck your tongue at him, “Tin can.” You turned your back on him, meaning to walk from the room. 

You heard movement, and then he was suddenly behind you, catching your hand and lacing his fingers through yours, “Hey, come back to bed.” The laughter was still in his voice, turning it a little softer – and that combined with the coaxing tug to your hand… 

How could you say no to that?

Without turning around, you tried to carry on walking to the door and at least appear strong-willed, “After you just laughed at me? You think you can use that honeyed tone and I’ll come falling into your arms?” You arched an eyebrow, looking over your shoulder

Din gave your hand another gentle tug, stopping you in your tracks “I believe you were falling into my arms last night.” His chest bumped up against your back gently, and his other hand trailed lightly on your hip, just the barest touch in case you didn’t want it. 

Maker.

Heat creeped along your cheeks, and the ghost of his touch trailed over you again, leaving you speechless. 

He had you there. 

The grin on his lips was obvious even through the helmet as he succeeded in tugging you back into his body, winding his arms around your waist. His head ducked down, and you felt the cool beskar brush your ear, “How do you feel...? After last night?” His voice was soft and tender despite his teasing. And you knew he wasn’t just referring to the moment. 

Your body instantly turned boneless, and you melted back into him, fitting against the planes of his body, “I feel… good. Really. A little shaken up still but… you really helped me. Thank you for coming to me… again.” Your heart beat a little uncomfortably in your chest, anxiety trembling in your belly as it always did on the rare occasions you spoke about your darker emotions out loud. 

Din either felt or sensed this, because he rested the chin of his helmet on your shoulder, holding you back into him with his thumb running over your hip, “I’ll always come to you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be right there. And if for some reason I don’t wake up, you can come and find me, okay? Don’t suffer alone.” 

A lump rose in your throat and you nodded, not trusting your voice to speak. 

It was still so new to you, this care and attentiveness from someone. And even more so, letting someone care about you. 

It was always just you, on your own. If you got hurt, you had to fix yourself up. If you were hungry, it was either hunt, gather or steal your food – or go hungry. 

And if you were having a day that things were overwhelming you… well, you had to deal with that on your own too. Usually, you would just push it to the back of your mind, keep going on and on and on. If you didn’t stop, you didn’t feel. 

Which is probably why everything had caught up with you a lot more these past few months. 

For the first time in your life, you were slowing down. Stopping to breathe, to take note of your surroundings and to listen to what your body wanted for comfort rather than survival.

And so, everything that had been bottled up and restrained had begun to seep out. 

Including your powers. 

Din ran his thumb over your hip again, in lazy circles, “It doesn’t make you weak, needing help.” He always seemed to know the direction of your thoughts, “It makes you strong. Being able to admit that you need help, letting yourself feel everything. And I’ll always help you with whatever you need. And however much you want to give me, that’s okay too.” He squeezed your hip lightly, “We’re a clan, remember?” He let you go gently, and you would never know that he was referring not only to your trauma, but your powers too. Trying to tell you subtly that it was okay. He wasn’t scared of you, or what you could do. And he would wait. 

But, instead, you turned to him, smiling softly with the light back in your eyes that he adored to see, “Okay… thank you.” You reach up, gently caressing the side of his helmet, “And you remember that you can share with me too… always.” You rose up on tiptoe, kissing the side of the helmet and then dropped back down to your feet. 

Din nodded slightly, his hand caressing up your side once more and then he let you go, “I’ll leave you to get dressed.” He grazed the back of his finger to your cheekbone and then left the room.

~~

~~~

A few hours later, you were back travelling, playing with Duru’s tail as she laid across her spot next to the big open window. 

Din turned around in his seat to look at you, hands resting on his thighs in that achingly familiar pose, “I have to pick something up from somewhere today… Would you mind staying here to look after the kids? I’m not shutting you away or keeping you grounded, it’s just that it’s not the kind of place I want Grogu in… and it’ll only be for about an hour or so.” 

The vagueness of his explanation piqued your curiosity and you looked over at him, “Pick something up from somewhere? My my, Din, you have such a way with words!” Playfulness filtered through your tone, but it didn’t quite hide the small hitch in your voice as you said his name. 

You would never get used to it, you didn’t think. 

The fact that you knew his name. That you could say it, whenever you pleased – as long as you weren’t around anyone else of course. 

By the way his chest stuttered, you knew he wouldn’t either. You could sense the eye-roll though, “Ahaha. I have to keep a few things to myself; you know. How else am I going to keep you around?” 

You blinked at him, feigning surprise, “Oh, you – you think I stay here for you?” Shaking your head rapidly, you held up Grogu, who had been toddling around on the floor in front of you, “Me and Duru stay here for him. You’re just an added body.” 

Grogu cooed brightly, raising his arms in the air and patting your cheeks as you lifted him. To you, it sounded like he agreed. 

 You smiled widely at him, lifting your eyes back to Din, “He agrees with me.” 

Din mock sighed loudly, turning back around with a mutter that sounded something like, “Maker, save me.” 

You chuckled, leaning back in your seat and holding out Grogu’s ball to him, “But yes, that’s fine. I don’t mind staying here whilst you go about getting things from places.” 

Truly, you didn’t mind. You needed to sharpen your vibrobrade which was looking a little worse for wear lately. And besides, you would be more than happy playing with the kid and Duru for an hour or so – you needed some privacy to have a little meltdown over last night. 

~~

~~~

A few hours later, Din had landed the Crest and had set off to ‘pick something up from somewhere.” 

Before he left, he’d ruffled the kid’s ears, stroked Duru’s chin and then ran the back of his finger across your cheekbone, giving you a lingering look – through the helmet, of course – and then set off. 

You’d then brought your blade up to the cockpit where the kids were, and settled into the pilot’s seat, beginning to sharpen your blade. 

The Crest was sealed tight, so you were all safe, and the landscape outside of the windows provided you with a dusty, barren view. 

As you sharpened your blade, you let your mind wander, allowing it to take the flow of whatever thoughts it decided. 

Naturally, it was going to be one of two things. 

Din, or your powers. 

Today, your mind chose the topic of powers.

You knew that you couldn’t hide them from Din forever. It had been months now since you’d met, and he still had no clue about it, about why you had such a bounty on your head. 

And he’d given you so much, not only by choosing to spare you and keep you safe, but by also given you his name.

And not only that, but every single little thing in between. From making sure you were fed, to coming to check on you after your nightmares. 

He would give you his cape if you were cold or offer up extra blankets. 

And it wasn’t that he thought you were incapable of doing those things yourself, or that you needed to be ‘cared for’. He knew that you were capable and resourceful, and he knew how strong you were. 

He knew that you were stronger than you believed yourself to be, so it wasn’t that at all.

 You knew it was because… he liked having someone else there. 

Sure, it disrupted his routines and he still wasn’t used to it, which you could tell because you felt exactly the same. You still hadn’t become accustomed to waking up in someone else’s presence or going to sleep and trusting another person to stay awake – and not kill you. 

And perhaps the biggest change for him was that now, with you there as well as the kid, there were even less chances for him to remove his helmet and armour and let his skin breathe. 

He had mentioned as much to you before in passing, that he had to be more careful with Grogu around, and even though he hadn’t said it, your presence meant those times were even rarer. 

He didn’t even have the privacy of his own room to do so – he had given that up for you. 

Another thing to add to the list. 

He deserves to know. 

You knew the voice was right. He did deserve to know. 

And not because you felt you owed him for what he’d given up for you – that wasn’t it at all. 

This journey you were on, the way your lives were tightly woven together… who were you to watch him put a bigger target on his head – and not even tell him why?

A sigh heaved its way out of your chest. 

You wanted to tell him so badly, you felt it in your chest. 

But you didn’t know how. 

How would you bring it up? 

“Hey, Din? I have something to tell you… The reason I have the highest bounty ever on my head is because… well... I’m Force Sensitive. I’m not a Jedi or anything but I have the ability to use the Force. Oh, what’s the Force, you ask? Well, it’s the energy that flows in and around every living thing.” 

That just sounded cringey and ridiculous, and you doubted he would even know what the Force was. He didn’t even know that’s what the kid had. 

Hell, you had never even acknowledged to yourself out loud that it was the Force. 

It just… seemed ridiculous to you. 

The Force belonged to the Jedi. If you had the power, you trained to be a warrior and a guardian of peace and life. 

You didn’t go on the run and kill people. 

You didn’t deserve to be associated with that kind of honour. Even if you never trained to be an actual Jedi… you didn’t deserve it. 

But you couldn’t go on like this, hiding it. 

Every time a silence fell, it was sitting there, waiting to burst out and just finally tell him, tell someone. And you knew that once you started, you wouldn’t stop. 

The whole story would come out. 

Your parents, the market, the first time you killed to save your own life and every time after that. He would learn about how good it felt, the sick power that washed over you and then the horrendous shame and guilt that had you vomiting for hours after. 

The story of how you ended up on top of that cliff and then in the water would come out. 

All of it, every single thing that had tied you to this life would be revealed. 

It would all be laid bare to him, leaving you as open and exposed as if he had removed his own armour. 

And that’s what terrified you. 

He would know every single thing, and it would be his decision how to take it. 

And you would respect it, whatever it was. 

If he wanted you gone, far away from himself and his kid, then you would go. Willingly. 

Sure, it would kill you, but you would understand why. 

But if he looked over it all, the darkness, the running, your power… If he looked at it, acknowledged the bad but saw how it had created the good, the fun, the way you’d gone from tripping over a bow to being able to shoot with your eyes closed and the light that had grown in you… If he saw every single thing, and still wanted to be with you…

Well, you didn’t quite know how to take that. 

You might well cry. 

And… if you were honest, you’d built yourself up to telling him. You decided yesterday that you were going to tell him this afternoon. 

But then you had that nightmare. 

Of course, you knew that he would never harm you, never hold a knife to your throat and drive it into your heart. That wasn’t what you were worried about. 

It was your reaction. 

The way the power had exploded and destroyed him. 

What if you got too worked up when you told him, and you couldn’t control it?

You’d restrained it for so long, for twenty years and it was started to come out. 

And you hadn’t admitted it to yourself but… it was becoming agony. 

The aches and pains that you had tried to write off as from hunting or the thin bed… 

You knew it wasn’t. 

It was the strain of holding back your power. 

You needed to let it go, to finally open yourself up and accept it, whatever it may be. 

You just didn’t know how. 

A soft coo brought you out of your rapidly spiralling thoughts. 

You lifted your attention from your knife, and found Grogu holding his metal ball, sitting in your usual co-pilot’s chair. He waved it in his hand, gurgling and you just knew, somehow, that he was asking to play catch. 

A broad smile lit your face, and you sheathed your knife, stowing it to the side, “Of course, little guy, I’ll play catch with you.” You turned your attention to him fully and held out your hand, “Whenever you’re ready, Gu.” The affectionate nickname had developed a few days ago, and the kid loved it. 

He lifted his hand, his little forehead furrowing in concentration, and then the ball lifted, floating in the air slowly toward you where it dropped into your palm. 

A feeling of warm pride filled your chest, and you laughed a little, clapping your hands, “Well done!! You’re getting better at that!” 

Din had told you that sometimes he struggled to use his powers and if he used them for a particularly long time, or for something intense, it would completely wipe him out. 

He told you he’d been gently coaxing him to use them, to be more confident with them and praise him for every small achievement - at the recommendation of a friend. 

You lifted the ball up, “Ready to catch it?” You threw it across the cockpit, gently, so he would have time to stop it. 

Which he didn’t. 

It fell straight into his lap… but that may have been because he didn’t even bother to lift his hand. He just looked at you. 

You tilted your head slightly, remembering Din’s words, “That’s okay, you can try again!” You held your hand out ready. 

A few moments later, it plopped back into your palm. You praised him, then threw it back, but yet again he let it land in in his lap without trying. 

Four turns later, and he started to huff every time you threw the ball, his ears twitching like he was annoyed. 

You sighed a little, “Gu, c’mon buddy… Try at least? For me? You send it to me perfectly, why won’t you catch it?” You raised your eyebrows a little, voice still encouraging but a little firm – again, as Din had relayed back to you as the best way. 

The kid just grumbled, his ears raising and falling again, and he pointed at your hand. 

Lifting the ball, you nodded, “I know you want the ball, but you have to try and catch it with yo-“

His rapidly shaking head stopped you. He pointed more emphatically at your hand, his glossy eyes wide and then you realised exactly what his problem was. 

He wanted you to throw the ball, sure… but not physically. 

He wanted you to use your power. 

Shaking your own head, you feigned innocence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Grogu simply wiggled his little feet and waited. 

And so did you. 

You stared him down, rolling the ball in your hands, “You know, I really do not know what you’re referring to. You’re mistaken. Now, catch the ball, you little womp rat.” You let your affection for him show in your tone, so he would know you weren’t being mean. You tossed the ball toward him. 

His palm lifted and it stopped mid-air, before whizzing back at you with speed, straight toward your head. 

Your own hand whipped up and you caught it just before it could bonk you on the nose, “Hey! Don’t throw things at me!” 

His ears flapped in annoyance and he make some kind of noise, waving his hands. 

And then he opened his mouth to cry. 

With a groan of defeat, you rubbed your forehead, “Fine! Fine. You’re right. I have the same powers as you.” 

His mouth immediately closed and broke into a wide grin. 

Cheeky little thing. 

You held yourself very still, gazing down at this tiny creature, who had apparently guessed your one big secret. Tilting your head the other way, you narrowed your eyes a little, “How did you guess?” 

Grogu mimicked your head tilt but revealed nothing. He just watched you, smiling happily and patting his hands together to wait for the ball. 

All of your life a secret, and a tiny green baby with an affinity for frogs and space macarons had managed to work you out. 

You couldn’t help the laugh, shaking your head at the whole situation, “You are a clever little baby aren’t you, huh?” You watched him for a little while, and then lifted up your hand flat, letting the ball rest in your open palm. 

You took a deep breath, focusing on the ball. 

Easy. Just concentrate. 

You closed your eyes, slowing your breathing, allowing it to relax in time with the beating of your heart. Ignoring the beeping of the Crest, the worry of using it, you focused simply on the ball, and the air around it. Imaging it rising from your palm, gliding across the air and landing in Grogu’s little hand. 

As simple as that. 

You swallowed, and then opened a tiny gate in that cage, a small gasp releasing from your lungs as the power thrummed through your blood, letting you feel the space ahead of you, the empty air becoming a malleable thing, and you tried not to flinch as the weight of the ball vanished from your palm. 

A breath in, a breath out. Focus. 

Like an invisible hand, you began to guide the ball across the open air, as if it caressed the ball like a boat and carried it across the ocean. 

You were nearly there; you could feel it. The ball was nearing Grogu’s palm, and you were dimly aware of his delighted noises, pride in his own glee like you had for him. 

Nearly there. 

You were doing it. You were controlling that wave, keeping it restrained and focused where you needed it. It was easy and it felt… it felt good. Natural, like breathing.  

This was what you’d missed for the last twenty years, being able to spread it wide or bring it in narrow. 

You didn’t need to be scared, if you could focus it in minimal amounts like this. 

It was okay, you were okay and –

“Sweetheart? Grogu?”

The suddenness of din’s voice broke your concentration and the ball fell to the floor with a soft thunk. 

Your eyes snapped open as your heart leapt into your both and you looked toward the entrance to the cockpit, hoping he was below, hoping he hadn’t seen. 

It was empty. 

The sound had come right from below, as he looked for you. 

You swallowed, keeping your voice even, “Up here.” You turned your gaze to Grogu, knowing you looked as pleading as you sounded, “Please don’t tell him…” You whispered the words, but you knew he understood, the ball zipping to his hand as if he had been playing with it the whole time. 

Gratitude for the small creature flooded your heart and you smiled at him, a little shakily as Din’s shiny head popped up the ladder. 

“Hey, sorry I was a little longer than expected…” He reached the top of the ladder, rising to stand at his full height. He saw you in his seat, one of his hands coming to rest on his hip, “Oh, I see it didn’t take you long to replace me.” He motioned to you in his chair, the husky tone of his voice teasing. 

You leant back in the chair, swaying it from side to side slightly with a grin, “Nope. Not at all. We don’t need you. You can go back out if you want. Shut the door on your way out.” You tilted your head back against the chair, one leg lounged over the arm like it was a throne. 

He called you princess still, so why not play on it?

Did you not deserve a fancy dress and a crown?

Of course, you had no idea what this sight was doing to him, playing on a fantasy he’d had for a while now about this cockpit and that particular pilots chair. 

He laughed, shaking his head and he rested against the side of the cockpit, arms crossed and pulling the fabric of his clothes tight – much to your own delight. “Right, I’ll just grab my things and leave, then. It’s been good knowing you, princess.” 

This. 

This was what you loved. The fact that you could have moments like last night, intense and passionate – or snarling and angry – and still retain the playful teasing that had always hovered between you. 

You shook your head, grinning softly, “Nah, I’m kidding. I need you around to fly the ship… I have actually no idea how to.” You looked over your shoulder at the control panel, the mass of buttons and switches and lights. 

Put you in front of a forest to track an animal or spot a hunter or present you with a variety of leaves and plants and you could identify them all. Give you a few meagre supplies and you’ll have a selection of weapons crafted in minutes. 

But flying a ship?

No, thank you. 

Din chuckled, and you knew he was grinning beneath the helmet, “I’ll teach you one day.” He straightened up suddenly and held out his hand, “Come with me.” 

With a tilt of your head, you unwound yourself from the chair and slid your hand into his, the worn leather soft against your palm and fingers, “Where are going?” 

Din tugged you gently toward the ladder, “I got you something...” His voice was a little quieter as he waited for you to descend the ladder. 

You peered up at him, pausing to lower yourself down, “When you were off getting things from places?” You tried not to smile, your lips twitching. 

Din huffed softly, and there was an implied verbal eyeroll there, “Get down the damn steps before I push you down them myself.” 

Your laugh floated up as you descended, “And I would grab your foot on the way down and take you with me.” 

A few moments later, you were making your way through the ship again. 

Din stopped at the weapons cabinet, then turned to face you, “Close your eyes.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, eyes flicking to the weapons cabinet and then him, but you did as you were told, closing your eyes. 

“Hold out your hands.” 

Lips twitching again, you held out your hands obediently. 

There was the sound of the cabinet opening and then rustling from within. 

A pause. 

Then you felt smooth, cool metal resting on your palms, across them both but you could tell it was wider. 

You tilted our head curiously, brows furrowing a little as your fingers curled around the mysterious object. 

Din’s voice sounded again, sounding… almost hesitant, “Open...” 

Light filtered back in as you opened your eyes, looking down at the object in your hands. 

Your breathing stopped in awe as you beheld the most gorgeous bow you had ever seen. 

The metal was a sleek matte black, dimly reflecting the light of the ship back at you. 

Inlaid into the metal was a gorgeous swirling design which spread across the arch of the bow. In the centre, where your arrowhead would rest against, a full moon created the focal point of the engraving. 

Just like your tattoo.

Din silently extended his hands, and he was holding a matching quiver and arrows. Everything matched the bow, and the same gold design was etched down the body of the arrows. They ended in wickedly sharp, curved heads and just be the feel and weight of them, you knew they were deadly accurate and fast. 

Quite simply, it was the most stunning weaponry you’d ever laid your eyes upon. 

It was the perfect size for your body, and when you held it up to test the flexibility, it was exactly as you were used to, just like the bow you had lovingly cherished before you lost it on Sorgan. 

This had been made purposely for you. 

Din had taken your measurement – of course he knew them, - and somehow got every single tiny detail perfect. The string wasn’t too taught or hard to maneuverer. It responded to your touch, exactly as you wanted to. 

You lifted your eyes to Din, your expression one of awe and… just simple adoration. 

It took you a few tries to speak, finding your throat has closed up a slightly with tears. You cleared it, though your voice remained husky, “Din… This…” You shook your head, no words being strong enough to relay to him how much you loved it, how perfect it was. 

Din was fiddling with his vambrace as he watched you, “Do you like it? I hope I got your measurements right… I had it commissioned a few weeks ago and it was only just finished. I… The design is a play on your tattoo.” He audibly swallowed, “If anything isn’t right, we can take it back and get it changed. Or if you don’t like it, you can have something completely new m-”

“Din, shush.” Gazing across the bow, you caressed the design with your fingertips, “It’s… beyond perfect. Truly. I couldn’t have designed it any better myself.” You lifted your eyes back to him, a swelling feeling in your chest, “This must have cost a fortune…” 

He shook his head a little, his shoulders relaxing and his hands stilling when he saw how much you truly adored it, “Cara told me that you were discussing your favourite weapons one day… You’d told her that as familiar as you were with knives, you missed your bow.” 

Oh, you did. You knew it wasn’t always the most suitable weapon – considering the number of different blasters and rifles that your pursuers used – but sometimes it had allowed you to escape before the fight had even begun. Perched high in a tree, an arrow whistling you the air in deadly silence and then it was over. 

And now you had one. 

An absolutely stunning one at that. 

A soft laugh of delight slipped from your chest and then you were grinning broadly, “Oooh, I can’t wait to use this. You think I’m lethal with a knife, you should see me with one of these.” You nocked one of the arrows, testing the resistance now it was loaded, and you sighted along it, “We have to go play, soon, I beg you.”

Din chuckled adoringly, fully relaxing at your excitement, “Of course...” He watched you quietly for a moment, leaning back against the cabinet. “In Mandalorian culture… giving weapons can sometimes symbolise – well, not all the time but within some households and clans – it can.. uh-“ He lifted a hand like he was going to scratch the back of his neck, another awkward habit that seemed so out of place. 

You looked over at him, carefully setting the arrow back in the quiver, “What can it mean?” You kept your voice light and casual, as if you didn’t notice his fumbling. 

Din cleared his throat, “It can sometimes mean a marriage proposal.” 

The quiver fell to the floor in a rattle of metal that broke through the air. 

He was playing you, right?

You stooped to the quiver, carefully scooping the arrows back in, “I – uh.. You mean-“

Din was watching you intently, “It doesn’t always mean it, but some couples present each other with a new weapon to signify their bond. And that they want to spend the rest of their days together. 

Blood pulsed through your ears, making your belly feel funny and your bones feel light. “I… I mean, I know a lot has happened between us, and-“

Din suddenly burst out laughing, lifting a hand to his chest like he could try to contain it, but it just kept coming. 

Rising back to your feet, you raised your eyebrows at him, confusion etched on your face at the sudden turn of his behaviour. 

The laughter poured from his lips like sunshine, stirring your chest out of its confusion and filling it with adoration. “Oh, you should have seen your face.” He tilted his helmet to you, trying to quell his laughter. 

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “When we go and use these, remind me to put you in front of a tree.” 

Din tried to speak straight through his chuckles, “And why’s that?”

Walking toward him, you poked him in the chest, “So I can use you as target practice, you shiny asshole.” You tried not to laugh, to keep a straight face. The truth was, if you could have bottled his laughter and gotten drunk on it forever, you would have. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard, as rare and lovely as a shooting star. And you just knew that this man didn’t often laugh like this, so easily. 

His hand snaked around your wrist, gently pressing your palm flat to his chest as he contained his amusement, “I wanted to play with you… It is true, but I didn’t get them for that.” He tilted his head just slightly, “You’re a warrior, and… a goddess. So… you deserve the weapons to match.” 

So simple. Such easy words for him to speak, but the meaning and casual pride and care in his voice completely floored you. 

You still weren’t used to such compliments and showering’s of affection – you didn’t think you ever would be. 

The fact that he had complimented you more in your life than anyone else (save for your parents) had your eyes turning glass again, your throat closing a little as that realisation truly set in. 

This man believed in you, saw you, more than anyone. 

You gazed up at him, through the visor of his helmet and not for the first time, you had the truly selfish thought, that you wished he could take it off. 

So you could show him just how much he meant to you, show him how his words held you above water when you were drowning. 

You weren’t good with them, no better than he was really, but you just wished you could show him. He deserved it, to feel those same feelings in return, to be praised and adored for the brilliant man he was. 

Din tilted his head further, his thumb running over your knuckles, “What’s going through that magnificent brain of yours, cyar'ika? Tell me…” The soft, low tenor of his voice never failed to skitter over your bones like fire. 

You bit your lip, the words tumbling out before you could stop them, “I wish I could kiss you.”

Not even two seconds later, it crashed through your brain just how that sounded, how ungrateful and selfish it came across. Your eyes closed in disgust at yourself and you flushed in shame, “Maker, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for how that sounded, please believe me, I didn’t-”  

Suddenly, Din moved. He leant down and rested the forehead of his helmet on yours. 

The metal was cool, the weight of it gently pressing against your skin, shutting you up with the unfamiliar gesture. 

Din lifted his other hand to your waist, resting his hand there lightly – respectfully. “Kov'nyn.”

You blinked a few times, “Kov… huh?” You guessed it was Mando’a, but you had no idea what it meant. 

His thumb lightly rubbed over your hip bone, sending tiny shockwaves through you, “Kov'nyn.” He used his other hand to gesture at the position you were in, “This is called a keldabe kiss. It can be used in battle, as a headbutt or something but it can also be a show of affection. Mandalorian’s don’t show each other their faces until marriage… so instead we do this. A keldabe kiss.”

You were quiet as you absorbed that, the soft sweetness of the gesture, your head tilted up to Din, and something in you told you he was gazing into your eyes. 

It was incredibly intimate too, despite the later of armour separating you. 

He couldn’t quite offer you the kiss you meant, but he could give you this. And… this was as good as showing each other the affection you intended. 

You didn’t know how long you stood there, his hand lightly on your waist, yours still on his chest but then you started to laugh at something. 

He tilted his head slightly against your forehead, “What now?” His voice was light though, curious as to what had tickled you this time. 

You grinned cheekily, tapping your fingertips over his chest. “Again with the marriage talk. Are you sure you don’t need to tell me something?”

Din laughed too, that heart-stopping, gorgeous laugh, filling the space with starlight and joy, “No. At least not yet, sweetheart.” 

~~~

~~

~

You gazed down at the comms unit. 

The code on the back of Rena’s card had been typed in and staring at you for the last twenty minutes. You were sitting cross-legged in your room, door firmly shut after your wash in the ‘fresher. 

Din was in there now; you could hear the echo of the water splashing down. 

You were only going to change clothes and go back to the cockpit, but when you’d taken them off, Rena’s card had fallen out and… here you were. 

Just call him. 

Your thumb hesitated over the call button, nerves whispering through your blood. 

Was this a good idea? To ask for help? 

There was still the matter of how he knew about you, and how he found you in the first place. 

Maybe this isn’t a good idea. 

Din would be furious, he doesn’t trust him. He thinks he’s a legend come to life.

True, Din would be so pissed.

But… this wasn’t Din’s decision to make. 

It was yours. 

Ever since your parents died, you had been running. From hunters, from the law but mostly... from yourself. 

You were being stalked and hunted for your powers. 

The very thing that you once adored and made you unique, and special, you now viewed as… a burden?

No... that wasn’t it. It was never a burden. 

Yes, it sometimes caused you more trouble than it was worth, and you did fear it but… you longed for it. 

With every fibre in your being, you wished you could utilise it. To once again make it a part of you and feel the purity of it. The energy that flowed in and around every single living thing, responding and allowing you to manipulate it. 

The little experiments you had started to conduct, testing to see if you could control even a small amount… they were making you crave it even more. Even though it terrified you and your nightmare had flashed back in your mind, you had managed to control it this afternoon with Grogu. 

Even if it was just a tiny ounce, it had listened to you – like you were one again. 

Rena had told you that there was nothing to fear from him. His sister had been gifted with the same abilities. 

Din would understand when you explained it to him… but you wanted to at least know more about how to control it. That way, you could tell him and… show him. Show him what you’d been hiding this whole time. 

Maybe it was time. 

Maybe it was time to stop being scared of it, of who you were. 

Maybe it was time to embrace it and become who you were meant to be. 

And so, you pressed the call button. 

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[babygirlizz]

izzie’s favorite movies and tv shows of 2020 (aka the worst year ever)

another year, another movie and tv show review. this year has, to put it simply, sucked. 2020 has been so terribly awful that sometimes the only light you can see are the absolute bangers of movies and tv shows that came out this year. with that being said, some of the movies and tv shows didn't come out in 2020. if the are mentioned in this post it is because they either: had a season come out this year, i found them this year, or they became popular this year.

SPOILERS: it may not come as a surprise but just in case you didn't realize, there will be many spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

tw // death, suicide, drug use, mild adult language. if any of these things might trigger you, i strongly urge you not to read this post.

there is no specific order of these shows and movies, i'm just writing as they come to mind. if you enjoy any of these movies or tv shows, or if you have any suggestions for me, please let me know!

TV SHOWS

1) Santa Clarita Diet

Okay, so I know this show doesn't have anything to do with 2020. But, I found this show in 2020. I put it off for a while, thinking it wasn't my style of a show, but boy was I wrong. I loved this show. Sheila Hammond (Drew Barrymore) is a normal suburban wife and mom. She is a real estate agent with her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant). She struggles with the fact that she isn't very adventurous. This all changes when she throws up an insane amount at a house showing. She then finds herself craving adventure, and craving human flesh. Yeah, she's a zombie. Not only is this show super hilarious, but it also shows the growth that they have with their characters and their family. I'm also team Abby (Liv Hewson) and Eric (Skyler Gisondo).

2) Outer Banks

So, I'm from NC. And, watching this show at first bothered me because I can very obviously tell this show isn't actually filmed in the obx, and the geography isn't exact, but once I got past that, I loved it. John B (Chase Stokes) is a teenager that lives in the poor side of the outer banks. He has a friend group called the Pogues which consists of JJ (Rudy Pankow), Pope (Jonathan Daviss), and Kie (Madison Bailey). They absolutely hate the Kooks, which are the rich kids. A while after John B's dad gets lost at sea, presumed dead, the group finds some evidence that may solve the mystery, and make them rich. In the process, John B falls in love with a Kook names Sarah (Madelyn Cline) whose father Ward (Charles Esten) may have a little more to do with the mystery than he let on. Through friendship, murder, and secrets, the gang may just figure out what happened to John B's dad.

3) Love, Victor

Alright. I loved loved loved Love, Simon. I also really loved the book "Simon vs. the Homosapien Agenda." So, when I heard about this show, I was so excited. Victor (Michael Cimino) is a teenage boy that moved to Creekwood with his family. He meets Felix (Anthony Turpel) who lives in his building. He also meets Mia (Rachel Hilson) and they begin dating. But, he also meets Benji (George Sear). While trying to get used to a new school, new friends, and a new relationship, Victor finds himself questioning his sexuality. With the help of Simon (Nick Robinson) and his friends, Victor finds it in himself to finally come out, and he admits his feelings, for Benji. This is such a good show, but I was so upset when season 1 ended on a cliff-hanger.

4) The Haunting of Bly Manor

The sequel to The Haunting of Hill House. Now listen, haunting of hill house was an absolute banger. When I saw that Bly came out I nearly died. I was so excited. But, I was alone in my apartment and also a lil bitch. So, I had to wait a week until I was home with my family to watch it. Now, I was so excited to be scared, and there were a few jump scares and ominous moments, but this season was more centered around the story line of Dani Clayton (Victoria Pedretti) and her new life in a foreign country. When seeing an ad for a live in job as an au pair. When she gets there, she meets the two young children she’ll be looking out for and the other workers of the house, including the gardener, Jamie (Amelia Eve). Throughout her stay at Bly she begins to notice weird behaviors from both children and by the end of the series she sacrifices herself for the children. Sadly, this story is being told by Jamie who Dani had fallen in love with during her stay at Bly. Now I was somewhat upset about the lack of horror, but was still very intrigued and drawn in by this series.

5) Julie and the Phantoms

Alright, at first I was not gonna watch this show. I thought it looked a little too young and childish for me, but everyone was talking about it on twitter so I had to. I. Love. This. Show. This show centers around Julie (Madison Reyes). Julie is a teenage girl who, sadly, lost her mother. The one major thing she shared with her mom, was their love for music. Since her mothers passing, she gave up music. This is until, dead musicians from the 90′s show up in her garage. Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada) all tragically passed away in the 90′s after eating bad street hotdogs. When Julie finds their CD in her garage, she decides to play it and they come back in ghost form. But, only she can see them. With their help, she finds her confidence to play music again. Also, she has to find away for them to stay because they’re slowly disappearing. 

6) Derry Girls

Bitch. I love this show. And yeah it didn’t come out in 2020. Shut up. I found this show recently after watching the cast on the holiday special of the Great British Baking Show. I loved the actors so I had to watch the show. This show focuses on Erin (Saoirse-Monica Jackson) a 16 year old girl that lives in Derry, Northern Ireland in the 90′s. Alongside her is her cousin Orla (Louisa Harland), her two friends Clare (Nicola Coughlan) and Michelle (Jamie-Lee O’Donnell), and Michelle’s English cousin James (Dylan Llewellyn). During these years, a lot of people in Ireland struggled, especially because it was during wartime. Even thought this show isn’t focused heavily around the war, it’s amazing to see these teens live a fulfilling life while struggling with the state of their country, and the lack of money that their families have. 

7) Elite

HA. This show did have a season in 2020 so leave me alone. But bro, I love this show. At first, I didn’t watch it because I thought I could only watch the dubbed version in English, which I hate. I hate dubbed shows they look so weird. But, once I found out I could watch this show in Spanish, I fell in love. But, sadly, theres too damn much to talk about in one little post. It’s crazy. But basically it just follows the lives of teens in high school that are trying to survive. And no, not in the “I’m surviving high school,” sense. No, people be getting murdered. 

MOVIES (tbh i didn’t find a lot of movies good this year lmk which movies u liked this year and maybe i’ll like them!)

1) All the Bright Places

After the death of her sister, Violet (Elle Fanning) is devastated. She closes herself off, and has her parents get her out of doing school work that involves working with others. But, as time goes on, they realize she may need to start to move on. Violet then meets Finch (Justice Smith) who is enamored by Violet. He suggests they do a project together. While finding and visiting some of the smallest wonders of their state, they begin to fall for each other. While you are focusing on Violet and her mental health, you tend to miss some of the signs that Finch’s mental health isn’t great either, but by the time you do, it could be too late. 

2) Dangerous Lies

Hmm. This was weird for me. I had only ever seen Camila Mendes in Riverdale, and honestly, not a fan. So, Katie (Camila Mendes) and her husband Adam (Jessie T. Usher) are struggling with money. Katie decides to take a job working for an elderly man, and eventually gets her husband hired there as well. Unfortunately, he dies, but for some odd reason, leaves the house and all of his fortune, to Katie. As they get comfortable in the house, they begin to uncover some very weird and dangerous lies. 

3) The Devil All the Time

Ok. Iconic. You got so many hot men in this movie. Bill Skarsgård, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson. C’mon now. That’s crazy. But, this story is so long and in depth that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. This movie is a bit disturbing. It involves murder, sexual assault, killing of animals, and so much more so if that’s an issue for you please do not watch this movie. It was also quite long, but it was still good.

4) After We Collided

Okay just listen. I was that teenager. I read wattpad stories and was, embarrassingly, addicted to After. This was not a great movie per say, but it was After. This is a sequel to the movie After. This movie centers around Tessa (Josephine Langford) and her recovery after her breakup with Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Theres sex, alcohol, bad acting. The whole nine-yards. But c’mon, they’re so cute together.

5) To All the Boys p.s. I Still Love You

Okay it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. This movie focuses on Lara Jean (Lana Condor) and her boyfriend Peter (Noah Centineo) and their relationship post the first movie. But of course relationships aren’t super steady, and John Ambrose McClaren (Jordan Fisher) shows up. Yeah, John Ambrose, from her letter. They become closer and Lara Jean has to decide who she wants to be with. Spoiler, it’s Peter. BOOOOOOO justice for John Ambrose McClaren, he deserved better. 

[losergender]

the more i read the faster the torture will end (yes im aware im choosing to do this and can stop when i want to)

okay back to titan attacks

"the truth of my life was becoming depressingly obvious: people didn't like me" alexis i know i said that i feel bad for you and stuff but you are also so unlikeable my dear. you never talk to anyone and your only 2 interests are mathematicians and classical music and you don't even bring them up when talking to people

stop guys she's wearing a black hoodie with a skull holding up a middle finger in the front

alexis this is why people dislike you.

alexis is on the pink press everyone

she keeps saying fluck instead of fuck

"the great war killing all our race was really bad for friendship" miss,,, miss do you hear yourself,,,

the one thing that annoys me the most about this book is that alexis cannot go two sentences without mentioning how she is suicidal and how she wants to die and straight up off herself and how despite having so many chances at it she never does it (WHICH IS COOL. DONT KILL YOURSELF PEOPLE) but she also never gives any explanation as to why not? like there was one chapter that in which she was at corfu w patrochilles and she was like "the best thing i could do was drown myself." cut to 3 paragraphs later, she's swimming with her pet because "she loves swimming." she's going through physical torture in the military thing they're at? "i wish i would die" "it's easier to die" "i'm gonna kms" "the moment i got a sec i was gonna kms." she gets close to death once and she's like "thank god i didn't die." which is a thing that happens. many people myself included who have experimented a near-death experience or real fear of death after/during suicidal ideation will come to a realization that maybe they didn't want to die and the cognitive disonance of "i wish i could kms but i dont want to die" is, i feel, a not all that widely explored topic in YA fantasy. and i think it's interesting, and it opens so many doors in terms of character development, and it could have make this book so, so much better. and instead not only is the chance not taken, but also, it turns sucide into a joke for 36 chapter and it makes is so that any mention of actual risk of death/suicide goes as a joke even if its serious.

(bonus points -> she has two very clear reasons as to why she can't die. one is that she's technically immortal which i dont really get bc shes meant to be in military school as a trial to see if she deserves immortality but also she and her classmates can already not be killed. except for the fact that. they can because 3 of them died. so whats the point idk. and i can only imagine how distressful it would be for someone who has suffered so much and is actively facing torture every day of their life that and who is suicidal to be suddenly told that she is never gonna die. and she doesn't mention that whole dilemma AT ALL. then, theres the fact that her little brother doesn't know where she's been the past months and he's still facing homelessness, this time by himself yes i still think he's dead. see, she brings up charlie like once every 3 chapters when she remembers to which i guess is a good amount. the idea of charlie is there either to make her feel guilty (when she has the wet dream) or to motivate her, because she wants to go back to him. BUT IT IS NEVER THERE TO MOTIVATE HER OUT OF HER SUICIDAL IDEATION? WHICH,,, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS THIS A BIT RANDOM? like how come charlie is good motivation when you are being forced to run after weeks of starvation but he is never once mentioned when you are wishing you would kill yourself? why is it "i gotta survive this for charlie" and then immediately after "i should kms" and no mention of charlie? like it feels so,, idk. whatever. sure.)

back to reading

speechless

"at this point, i didn't care if carl gauss thought i wasn't accomplished in the after life (i cared). carl can suck on my... stuff."

YOU HAVE A NICE GUY GREETING YOU WITH A SMILE AND BEING FRIENDLY TO YOU IN SPITE OF THE FACT YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANYONE BUT 1 GUY IN MONTHS, IN SPITE OF THE FACT NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW SHIT ABOUT YOU, IN SPITE OF THE FACT YOU'VE BEEN COMPLAINING ALL CHAPTER ABOUT HOW PEOPLE DISLIKE YOU?? AND YOUR REASON IS THAT HE IS TOO GRATEFUL AND CHEERFUL?? ALEXIS IM TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU BUT MY GIRL I CANT

a titan just attacked in the chapter called titan attacks who's surprised

"ice covered" you're in a greek island in autumn why is there snow.

okay so. the titan attacked while they were running (they've a circuit they have to do often around the island) and most students went to hide but she stayed behind to help one who had fallen (and who now is dead) and then she started to attack the titan herself with a stone and stuff until kharon (the predator) came to finish him off. and now. i think he's gonna kiss her. which. to quote finn mertens, i nono wanna.

btw in case anyone's lost, there's two guys pursuing alexis, kharon (the predator) and augustus (the evil teacher slash pokemon sword guy) (and theyre lovers)

alexis youre stupid

c-ptsd flashback okay

oh and now kharon mister "she's prey",, mister "i'm gonna kill her", mister "i'll be your sworn enemy", miser "i wanna torture you" is like "nooo alexis :( i didnt mean to trigger you by threatening to beat you up"

"can i touch you" BROTHER YOU WERE HOLDING HER BY THE JAW SECONDS AGO AND HAVE BEEN TOUCHING YOURSELF TO HER FOR AGES. WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN 1 MINTE AGO AND NOW FOR YOU TO LEARN CONSENT

augustus' whole thing is that he's overprotective of women to the point he wants to control every single one of their actions and he's so controlling of alexis that he threatens to torture/actually tortures everyone who touches her including doctors im gonna scream

also can i just say they go through all this intensive physical training just for their weapons of choice to be. Guns.

welcome to sunny reacting to stuff in which sunny reacts to stuff. in this tumblr post, we're dealing with blood of hercules (the i'm a girl and as it turns out i'm hercules book) because i'm doing So Bad Mentally that i am in dire need of something that will make me laugh.

chapter 1 reaction below

montana?? out of all states?? okay go off

"kids at school called it apocalytic core. i called it hell" already laughing. i love my life decisions.

SUPERSEED I'M SORRY WHAT?

"if you wanted to live (i didn't)" you and me both bestie

does the author know verb tenses

i'm saying so little bc otherwise the post would be huge. every single sentence is hilariously bad this is so silly

summary if anyone is interested -> pretty unclear dystopian setting, 10-yo befriends an echidna named nyx and then gets a foster brother delivered to her room the next day. the titans are like superhumans killing normal people and the "spartans" are 12 protector families (8 are olympian, 4 are cthonic and those are dangerous murderers or something).

[ofcowardiceandkings]

UH WHOA not only am i posting art but theres so much of it lmfao

ive been meaning to do this for mmmm a long time, and i decided to get it cleaned up so i can present folks with my homebrew/headcanon/thingy for the d&d playable races !! i know ive missed a few off but these are ones ive seen more of over all in my own travels in Nerd Game lol

ive only DMed one thing so far (our lost mines of phandelver adventure was a total blast but oh boy the shenanigans) but im like ... drowning in it all, have been for a loooonng time since i first played Neverwinter Nights when i was like 11, i just didnt have a party to mess with yet lmao (fingers crossed our schedules get sorted so the campaign goes ahead soooooonnn).. so ive been developing some of these various homebrewy headcanons for uh over half my life

getting them all together in one place like this was unbelievably fun !!

gonna yell under the cut for a bit about it more but very shortly i’ll be opening for d&d character / item / creature commissions so watch this space or pop me a message to get in a queue <3

these headcanon things are half based on “that looks cool” and Sciencing. a lot of the more humanoid in some way races ive really pulled on human ancestors a lot, as well as muscle development in different sports. And Animals, because ye

i haven’t included humans in this mammoth endeavour because we should all know what a Human People looks like, and their proportions aren’t any different in the world of D&D i run at least lol similarly, because they’re an exact intersection between humans & either elves or orcs, the half-species arent included on here either [shrugs] i WILL talk about them some here though !!

i might eventually update this with some npc generators ive made using my own descriptors and headcanons >.>

ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.5 generally long limbed, with fine wispy hair, elves senses are very heightened. helping in this, their eyes are almond-shaped with slightly narrow pupils, their large radar-like ears are very mobile, and the underside of their noses are covered in a lightly damp pitted leather. part of their ability to maintain grace with an elongated frame, aside from longer springy feet, is aided by a tail built somewhat like a horse, with a skirt of hair down its length, only with a slightly longer bone to it than would be seen in the typical pony. excepting a very light dusting on their lower limbs, they typically have very little body hair. sometimes their skin shimmers, or freckles sparkle.

GNOME av height; 3′6 | heads-high; 6.5  gnomes are almost like diminutive elves with a few key differences. their hair tends to be wild if left alone, but is often styled wildly anyway. set rather low on rounded but long faces, their large almond eyes are keen, and small hands very nimble. it’s not sure if its due to their close environments or frequent encounters with accidents in experiments, but their skulls are surprisingly hard, and they possess small horn nubs made of bone and coated in keratin. their small petal-shaped ears are set low and point outward, and are able to move a little to catch sound. they may look fragile due to their size and build but they are pretty hardy and more than capable.

HALFLING av height; 3′ | heads-high; 6 a very hardy but soft and welcoming folk, halflings are built for walking and surviving well, often coming from a semi-nomadic tradition. they typically have round faces with stronger jaws and soft round eyes, and their large ears are pointed upright. their figures easily get a little curved and chubby, especially when they have easy access to decent food, in preparation for harder times and the odd period of hunkering down for some downtime, say in poor weather. truly the most functional part of a halfling is their short powerful legs with big fairly flexible hard feet, and lion-like tail for balance, both insulated by hair.

DWARF av height; 4′3 | heads-high; 6.5 dwarves are accustomed to life in tougher terrain, typically with large parts spent in the ground. their broad frames are also squat down with thick short limbs, for huge power and for life in tunnels. wide feet keep them steady and sensitive to significant seismic energy in the earth, and wide hands aid in their work and the feel of the rock. their large round ears stick outward and are slightly mobile, large noses help condition the air, and high-set eyes with huge irises aid their vision in darker spaces and the ability to peek over things without being fully exposed. their skulls are also very thick just in case of falling rocks. all dwarves are very hairy and grow beards, taking pride in keeping and styling it.

GOLIATH av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 10 a totally different variety of rock & mountain people to dwarves, they do share a few traits. a goliath’s thick limbs are long with a big reach and huge stride, with big hands and feet for steady movement. as well as being hugely tall, they are broad, especially in their shoulders, with a long neck elevating their head further. their facial features tend to be very sharp, but long. they have little to no body hair, and they often dont grow head hair either, but decorate their skulls with tattoos. as they get older, the upper surfaces of their body develop pebble like growths under the skin, often in similar patterns to their habitats.

FIRBOLG av height; 7′6 | heads high; 9 firbolg typically live in deep forests but are actually a giantkin - although not too unbelievable given their huge height and thick build. large parts of their body are hairy, nearly furry, and their head hair is thick and wild, and they often have facial hair too. their large heads have long thick noses with an almost bovine leather to their top lips, and wide set eyes. their fluffy ears are very mobile, but when relaxed they drop and point downward. their nails are thick and sturdy, aiding in being even more dexterous while being so big. sometimes they are covered in layers of clothing, but they possess a tiny goat-like tail.

DRAGONBORN av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8 dragonborns diverged from true dragons in the ancient past, likely due to a strong magical influence of some kind, but not so long ago that the bloodlines of dragons are absent from the race of dragonborn. (the illustration shows the typical head-shape and placement of ears, each bloodline has its own features). their chest is still very round like an animal, with deep chest muscles, a slightly less mobile shoulder, and short upper arm. their 4 clawed hands and feet somewhat resemble that of a true dragon, but smaller and a little less dangerous. the length of a dragonborn’s tail can vary from just the length from hips to floor, or up to their full height, and as well as being very useful for balance and dexterity, can be used for fighting. different bloodlines can interbreed, with it being a matter of chance which line is present in offspring (although metallic is more dominant over gemstone, and chromatic over both ... (ah yeah gemstone, ill get to that soon))

AARAKOCRA av height; 5′ | heads-high; 8.5 as an avian species, especially one capable of flight, the aarakocra’s bones are hollow, making them on the one hand very agile but a little fragile. their large wingspan nearly brushes the floor, and their wings attach high on their back, through to a deep avian keel. their arms have a long forearm, which is covered in bird-like scutes, and their 4 clawed hands are still remarkably talon like which quite short palms and very mobile thumbs. their legs are very long and powerful, and backed by a typically wedge shaped tail. more often than not, their physical appearance takes after raptor species of birds, but different populations can trend towards many different appearances, including parrots and waterfowl.

TABAXI av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 9 tabaxi are an unusual sight in many places still. their cat-like bodies are very flexible and suited to their athletic climbing lifestyle. their long hands and feet have very a powerful grip, and they can retract their front claws. their long feline face is something like a cheetah or a clouded-leopard, with large highly mobile ears, large eyes and a strong nose. 

ORC

av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8

orcs are very powerfully build, with heavy muscles and thick bodies overall. compared to other humanoids they can look a little gorilla-like. their short legs are usually a little bent to carry weight better instead of busting knees when locked. their course wiry hair grows profusely all over their body. their strong nails often grow out a little pointed. their large thick heads have high heavy brows and protruding lower jaws, short round noses and low bud-shaped ears which stick outward. the lower jaw and sometimes upper contain tusks, sometimes multiple tusks, which are greatly cared for and very impressive.

HALF-ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.25 a half-elf’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an elf’s eyes and nose leather, shorter elf ears, and maybe a small tufted tail something like a rabbits

HALF-ORCS av height; 6′ | heads-high; 8 a half-orc’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an orc’s skin colour and dark and profuse wiry hair, shorter orc ears, and some small tusks.

GOBLIN av height; 4′ (stood straight) | heads high; 5.5 bat/cat-like ears, nose something like bear/cat, domed head, arms/legs same length, sparse wiry hair, claws, short digits, lithe but very strong and hardy

HOBGOBLIN av height; 5′3 (stood straight) | heads high; 8 bat/cat-like ears but pinched at the base, nose something like bear/cat, very domed head, arms slightly longer than legs, claws, sparse wiry hair, quite broad

BUGBEAR av height; 7′ (stood straight) | heads high; 7.5 bat-like ears, long domed head something like a lion/bear, arms very long, nearly totally covered in thick fur, big tusks and often fangs, very bear-like hands/feet, big claws, very broad

TRITON av height; 5′2 | heads high; 7.5 lithe but well muscled, quite streamlined for a humanoid, frilled ears, pretty flat face, fins on limbs/back, “hair” is tendrils/fins/etc, short strong legs & long arms, long webbed fingers, long flipper feet, gills along front/side of chest

YUAN-TI PUREBLOOD av height; 5′9 | heads high; 9 domed angular faces, lips are not humanoid, triangular eyes, scales, quite flat nostrils with sense pits following along underside cheekbones, very little cartilage in ear, some may have cobra hoods extending out of ear instead, very tall and thin with small hands/feet, reptilian claws

CENTAUR av height; 7′ | heads high; 10 fairly stocky pony body (usually about 4′10 at withers), very muscled front end, long neck & sloping human-shoulders, long faces with long broad noses, prominent lips, horse-like ears sticking up and out, their whole scalp can grow hair but shaved sides are common, can grow hair nearly all down human-spine

KOBOLD av height; 2′6 | heads high; 5.5 almost alligator-like head & eyes, tiny nub horns, quite animal-like chest, arms/legs same length, thick stubby tail same length of body, 4 digits with stubby claws, lithe but strong for their tiny size

KENKU av height; 4′ | heads high; 5.5 corvid features, deep chest but no keel, longer arms than legs, 4 digits with talons, hands human-like but scaled, wedge-like tail half of leg height, not-quite fully bird feet.

LIZARDFOLK av height; 6′6 | heads high; 7 iguana-like, egg-shaped head, neck wattle, line of back spines varies in height, long arms and legs, very reptilian hands and feet with long claws, elbow spikes

GRUNG av height; 3′ | heads high; 6.5 large heads, neck leads nearly directly into torso, super flexible, very long limbs, triangular body, short upper arm, shorter thigh, large hands/feet, 4 digits

LOXODON av height; 7′6 | heads high; 5.5 large head, trunk as long as torso, short legs / long arms, huge bones under thick muscle, thick skin, 4 digits with thick nails, large hands / rounded cushioned feet, v e r y broad and thick build, small tail with tuft at the end, 

TORTLE av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 7 thick wrinkled skin encased in huge shell, stooping posture with neck extending forward, very long arms & short legs, 5 digits with reptilian claws, boxy head, heart shaped from above with features set far forward, tail to balance stoop

MINOTAUR av height; 7′ | heads-high; 9 powerful build with thick bones, typically well muscled, bovine head on thick neck, often very large horns, fairly long tufted tail, big hooved feet, broad 4 digit hands with thick nails, hair length varies

PLANE THINGS ???

listen this was a lot easier in the edition i first encountered lol anyway, until anything else comes up in extra material im just applying a few square & rectangle venn diagram rules

a useful word; planetouched. i dont really know why WotC seems to have dropped that term for at least 5e (i missed 4e entirely) but it refers to a “mortal native outsider” with lineage or influence from a plane other than the material, so “a material plane native creature with non-native plane influence, which can die”

GENASI height depends on material plane parent the result of a material plane / elemental pair (usually genies). they usually take after their material parent in build and broader features, but their elemental heritage comes through in features like magical hair, bright coloured eyes, unusual body temperatures, innate magics, etc.  genasi can interbreed with themselves, and the crossing of two elements can produce some interesting results (im working on that :>)

TIEFLINGS height depends on material plane parents this is the first of the squares & rectangles, and tbh its basically canonical. a tiefling is the result of a material plane humanoid being born with fiendish* influence. the word ‘tiefling’ refers specifically to a human with fiendish influence, but is also an umbrella term for ALL fiendish planetouched creatures. these DO have some names mentioned in the play material ! fey’ri = elves, tanarukk = orcs, wisplings = halflings, maeluth = dwarves, etc. so all fiendish planetouched are tieflings, but not all tieflings are human-based. the fiendish influence can be dormant for years or just string along for decades. AnyWay, all of them have horns, most have tails, odd skin or eye colour, and others can have all sorts of extraplanar features. *(fiends are another venn diagram thing in D&D, its an umbrella term for both demons and devils) 

AASIMAR height depends on material plane parents aaand this is the second of the squares & rectangles, the not-strictly-canon one. okay duplicate what i said about tieflings, but make it about celestials not fiends, basically lmao. aasimar is an umbrella term, but also a human/celestial planetouched specifically! unlike the above, since its my homebrew concept i dont have other words specifically for other races’ celestial planetouched, but i’ll get there watch this space lol EnyHoo, they all tend to have a strange glow about them in general, but usually in their eyes, and maybe hair especially. it isnt uncommon for them to have a kind of halo around themselves, or glowing glyphs/runes/sigils on or around them either. while MOST dont have full wings, a dusting of feathers isnt unusual. the features of celestials can vary a lot more. for example, unicorns and leonals are actually celestials!

aaand the slightly odd-ball;

WARFORGED height depends on build purpose these are an interesting case, as warforged are actually constructs, brought into this world by the fusing of organic muscle (like wood or leathery material) to an inorganic shell (like stone or metal), imbuing a life-giving fluid of some sort to act like blood, and bringing life to it by a powerful ritual - a unique glyph etched into their heads. as their name suggests they are usually created to become soldiers, or other army positions, although they could be suited to other purposes. unlike most constructs, they are fully self-aware and have a mind on par with humans. they do not need sleep (but require rest) and they also do not naturally reproduce. if they live longer than their purpose, then they are turned loose to deal with the world as they wish. as they are MADE they can vary greatly depending on who made them, and for what exact purpose - although they tend to have beak-like mouths, and 3 digit hands and 2 toed feet.

AV. HEIGHT CHART FROM LEFT TO RIGHT !!! human - elf - dwarf - gnome - halfling - orc - goliath - firbolg - dragonborn - aarakocra - tabaxi - kenku - hobgoblin - bugbear - yuanti - triton - kobold - grung - lizardfolk - tortle - centaur - minotaur - loxodon

oooboy that was a lot of waffle :L