#there's something deep down you need to understand to be truly free

[griddleharkbrainrot]

You have brought this upon yourselves

Tagging the people who reblogged this so they can read the final product: @commanderbabygirl @shoot-i-messed-up @kuronekofe-ao3 @yourinfernaimajesty @kneehighrainbowsocks @cipher-fresh @fashion-foxy

Before I begin I would like to clarify that this is about how Batman is a trans allegory, whether the character himself is or is not trans is up to the reader's interpretation.

First I would like to break down some key elements of the character Batman

Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing

Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman

He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman

He does not want to act like playboy Bruce Wayne, even stating once that it makes him uncomfortable

He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe

He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human

We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.

Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems

Now that we have broken down some key aspects of what makes Batman himself, I would like to tell you a story and let you draw the parallels.

TW Transphobia in the deep south

Sally is a young girl who lives in Alabama. Deep country Alabama where they shoot you if you’re queer cause they can’t have you corrupting the children. Most people don’t call her Sally, they call her Alexander, a name that isn’t hers but she can’t tell them that because it isn’t safe to do so. What if they tell someone else and the secret gets out? What if they accept her but someone finds out they knew and didn’t tell and they shoot them both together? It's far too dangerous for them to know so Sally lets them call her the wrong name even as something chips and breaks in her chest. But at night she is free; in the nearby town there is a bar she likes to sneak out to where she can dress as herself and be known by her own name. For some of the others they like to dress as women for fun and Sally can understand that but for her it's not just a night out, this is her real life. There is a whole other world out there for her at night of people who can truly be themselves. Some are brave enough to be the same person during the day and the night but Sally doesn’t have that option. It isn’t safe for her out here, and so to ward off suspicion Sally buzzes her hair when she wants to shave it out, lowers her voice when she wants to raise it, and dresses hypermasculine because this is the armor she must wear to avoid suspicion. Her parents make her go to church every Sunday and the pastor likes to give speeches about the monsters in the night who are “unnatural and against god”. He warns against the devils who will corrupt you and turn your good-natured children into f*gg*ts. Sally shrinks in her seat while he preaches, knowing that the monster he speaks of is her. Her mother puts a reassuring arm on her shoulder, thinking that the reason Sally is frightened is because she does not want the so-called devils to take her, not knowing her child is one of them. Sally wonders if her mother would hate her if she knew what she was. A mother is supposed to love their children unconditionally, but after all, there is no hate like Christian love.

Apologies if that was triggering for anyone, but I needed to tell it so that you could properly understand. It is not my story (although I did write it) but the story of many young trans people in areas where it is not safe for them to be out of the closet.

Let’s review the previously established characteristics of Batman and draw parallels to the story above and the experience of being trans as a whole.

Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing

Need I say anything?

Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman

I am newname not deadname

He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman

Protective hypermasculinization/hyperfeminization

He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe

Not safe to be out as trans and afraid people won’t acccept you

He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human

Internalized transphobia

We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.

Fear that your parents won't accept you as trans

Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems

The ridiculous idea that transgender people are corrupting children

Let me know if I missed anything or if there are any inconsistencies. Additions are welcome to this post! I am not a batman expert but what little I know was drawing obvious parallels to being trans and so I had to share this mess that has been rattling around in my brain

You guys aren't ready for my analysis on Batman as a trans allegory

[feiandart]

This is something people asked me more than a couple times until now in the comments, both in the Italian version of Sugar and in the English one. I often answer this with a couple paragraphs of light explanations, but you know what? Have a seat, I'll actually talk about this in a proper way and this may be a very long ride.

I warn you: I'm writing this from my mobile in my free time. This means early in the morning or late at night after a whole day doing things. My brain is shit in those moments so you could find a lot of errors. I'm sorry if my English will be poor, I'm not really able to correct anything. (Also, I prefer to give you my honest flow without corrections. That may actually help getting the right vibe from all of this? I hope so).

But let's go to the proper answer.

I've been asked: "how much of your life do you process through words?"

There is no easy way to say this, no way to avoid being honest here. The reality is that I put all of my life into this story. There might be a lot of differences in the events, but the feelings, all the traumas I talk about, things the characters say, think or do, all of that is mine. I could literally take pieces from all the chapters and give all of them deep explanations on how those are not just mine, but me. I am between the lines, hidden inside all the metaphors, stuck under the weight of the baddest chapters, trying to breathe after writing the most emotional ones.

I know it's a fanfiction. I know the story is not perfect, that there may be holes in the plot and the characters may seem badly shaped, rough, not real. I know, I am not a professional writer, I might make mistakes. This is no excuse, mind me, but not everything in life is coherent or logical as we often see in the media. We can spend hours or a lifetime creating the perfect story with everything perfectly crafted but that doesn't make it real, because incoherence is a huge part of the human experience. And that is what I want Sugar to be: human, not perfect. Realistic when it comes to emotions and relationships, not necessarily in its plot or events. I want it to be a trip into the deep abyss of an injured mind, trying to hold on with a broken heart, not three unicorns running to Candy Mountain. I want to break you into pieces and slowly help to put everything back together.

Look guys, I get it as much as I get that is not actually a story for everyone. You open it expecting another plot and I give you a bad time instead. You think it's something about a sugar babe and his daddy and I give you traumas and none of that. You come for the smut and I put old wounds and control needs over that too, also denying it for a whole half of the story. Truth is, I am a scammer. You come for a Good Omens fanfiction and I break the characters apart, twisting them to the point they might be the same to the very core, but nothing like it on the outside. You have to dive deep to find them.

My God, what am I even doing?

They asked me, "do you choose your words with care, don't you?"

Oh, dear Lord, I am so sorry because maybe people really think I plot all the metaphors, I think properly of all the dialogues, but what if I don't? Most of the time I don't, really. I just put my hands on the keyboard and let them free to go wherever they want. I type whole pages and emerge right after without having the faintest clue of what I wrote. I need to come back multiple times to check if I got what I wanted in the correct way. Hopefully, it does almost all the time. I know where I start and I know where I want to be in the end, the middle of it is pure instinct and emotions. I know how my characters would behave and play them like a TV show in my mind, while describing scenes on the screen.

( There might be some kind of light spoilers from now on. Mind how you go! )

I know I am using Crowley as the raw essence of a damaged mind and heart. He uses crude metaphors, always talks with anger and uses blood and storms in his speech, because he is instinct, he's a tide, he's greed personified and wants everything he could get cause he truly got nothing in his life. He is the passion who can't be contained, he uses art to process his emotions, he uses music to lose himself in something familiar, hoping someone else could help him find his way back home. He uses gardening to grow things because in his life nothing seems to last long. He can't look at tomorrow without fear, but grows things he hopes will last more than him. Life was not good with him, but he wasn't good with his life either. He did nothing, letting time pass without actually building anything, living the days as they come, drowning his pain in wine or between someone else's legs. He knows most of what he is, most of what he's done, is not healthy. But he never really cared before.

And then there is Aziraphale, which apparently is a walking red flag, traumas personified on two working legs, scared of everything hiding outside his door. He got everything. He has money, a big house, books, some people working with him, and is content. So content his heart yells and cries because he's lonely. So content he can't really control his whole life because he is his own antagonist. So content he's not really scared of what hides outside the door, because what's inside is worst. He uses the softest metaphors, he uses his books to tell stories and talk about himself, he can't really speak is mind and talks, talks, talks so much! He wins arguments because he drags his opponents into exhaustion. He talks them to death, using whole paragraphs of elegant, perfectly crafted phrases and quotes he can shield himself with. He's not like Crowley, just getting started on this new channel of communication, no, Aziraphale is well trained. He has thousands of books he can use to get where he wants and still use his experience poorly because he thinks people are just like the books and guess what? That's not true. People are something else.

It's actually funny how I just condensate two parts of me into two different characters.

Crowley holds my outside, and this is why you have his POV for the entire story. You see the world with his distorted, unreliable vision, you see raw desire to be accepted, the need to be truly seen by someone, big pieces of his mind, his dissociations, his fear, his low self esteem, the thousands of radios turned on in his mind, his incapability to let things truly go, is head full of canvases he never finish. And then you see his rage and you're not sure how much that will last. Yeah, that is me. Welcome to myself.

Aziraphale holds my inside. This is why we never get his POV. Too easy, too deep, too much. He is scared. He needs control. He wants and can't get. He hopes and does nothing. He's stuck in his home, with his books, and finds himself at ease there. He thinks he's safe but he's not. He's a living contradiction and at the same time he's not.

God, what was the question again?

Maybe I wrote too much. Maybe this is not enough. All I can say is that there's something really important in this story, and that is Crowley asking Aziraphale to "look at him", 'cause all he wants is to bee seen.

But in the end, what is happening here is you looking at me. And it's strange to get so naked in front of so many strangers. But it's also good and positive to me to be seen, for once.

So, thank you. Really, thank you. 'cause with every chapter you allow me to express myself in a way I never did in 30 years. Thank you so much.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you please do a part two of the Sebastian fluff where he lets his thoughts get the best of him and gets anxious that reader now sees him as a monster because of what they read on his document so he prepares extra good items and plans to give them heavy discounts and even some free but reader barges in like

"MANTIS SHRIMP??? PUNCH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW"

And after a bit of reassuring(possibly some punching too bc reader is too starry-eyed for him to say no to em) Seb realizes he trully never had anything to worry about and just, generally grows fonder of reader?

Ps. Adore your writing, keep up the awesome work!!

"God, why did I let them take it? Stupid, stupid, stupid.."

Sebastian couldn't stop beating himself up, even though he knew he shouldn't care about the opinion of any human sent by Urbanshade--especially one of the "expendable" class.

Yet because it was you, specifically--who was currently in possession of his document--he began to wonder what you'd think of him once you found out the truth:

That he was nothing but a horrible monster. Plain and simple.

If not the knowledge that he was a hideous chimera of several sea creatures' DNA...then surely the revelation that he caused the lockdown of the Blacksite would ultimately make you resent him.

He released all those creatures, who stopped at nothing to prevent you from reaching the crystal and had you running, fighting, or hiding for your life.

He was responsible for all the injuries you've sustained while crawling into his shop, desperately needing a medkit and a place to rest.

He would understand if you'd never want to visit him again after what they documented about him..but the image of your furious expression and overthinking the words you'd possibly say to him left him feeling incredibly anxious.

Suddenly, Sebastian found himself gathering more supplies. Medkits, code breakers, and every light source he had currently in the shop, trying to market down whatever he could. He was even willing to let you take batteries for free...which was something he'd never normally do.

Would it be enough to make up for everything horrific you discovered about him and the terrors he indirectly put you through? Absolutely not.

Was he willing to try it anyways just for the small chance that you'd keep visiting him? Maybe.

No other human has shown him a single ounce of kindness or gratitude for his services. Nobody except you, of course, and he refused to lose that.

-thump, thump-

"Shit.." He froze, hearing movement in the vent duct, hands trembling for his light to shine brighter. Part of him wishes he could stay in the dark, as he didn't wanna see your face and whatever hurt expression it could possibly hold.

But he knew it'd be rude if you actually needed to buy something, so he forced himself to look as your familiar figure crawled out of the small opening. You seemed out of breath, like you were just running from something, and stood up to dust the dirt off your pants.

"Sebastian..I need to know something, and you need to be 100% honest with me."

The moment you pulled out his document, the shopkeeper could feel his heart sink.

"Wh..What did you want to know?" He asked, already bracing himself for the worst.

You sounded dead serious, and he was convinced you were finally going to let him have it.

You were going to force him to explain himself and his actions, and tell him what a monster he truly was. Literally and metaphoric-

"Its it true that you have mantis shrimp DNA????"

Silence.

Of all the possible outbursts he expected from you, that certainly didn't cross his mind.

Sebastian just stared down at you, utterly dumbfounded. He blinked several times, unsure if he was truly seeing the wide smile and starry-eyed look on your face.

He had been waiting for a deep scowl, eyes full of anger and betrayal and sadness that he wasn't the "friend" he claimed himself to be when you first visited his shop.

Yet now? He saw nothing but pure delight in your expression.

"Um..yes. But of alllll the things you read about me, that shocked you the most?" He was still treading carefully.

"Well, it sucks that you were an innocent guy who got thrown into a shitty situation." You gestured to him, frowning a little. "And I'm sorry you never saw justice, but...it's just SO cool that you're part mantis shrimp!" A grin returned to your face. "They've fascinated me for years! I used to watch videos of them all the time. Did you know the velocity of just one of their punches is equal to a .22 caliber bullet-?"

"Stop." He put a hand up, huffing. "At least some part of you must resent me. I mean...helloooooo, did you skip over the bit where I'M the reason those monsters are after you?! There's no way you could've ignored that..unless your brain turned off the moment you read "mantis shrimp"."

"I read everything, Sebastian." You huffed back. "Look, if I ever had to go through what you did..I think I'd wanna rebel, too. And as much as those monsters scare me, they've probably endured the same experiments as you. They probably felt just as trapped and afraid. You must see at least a few of them as your friends, right?"

"Eyefestation and the PAInter are the only ones I consider "acquaintances"." He answered after a long pause, shoulders slumped. "The anglers are primitive, but they recognize me as the one who freed them, so they don't bother me or my shop. The only creature that tends to be an issue is-"

-thump-

-thump-

Tensing, you looked over your shoulder to see a Wall Dweller emerge from the vent behind you, its mouth split open and drooling with hunger, standing on two legs.

"-that." Sebastian glared at the creature; and before it could run away, he blocked the entrance with his tail fin. "Oh no you don't." He swooped over to grab ahold of its head with his third hand, causing it to shriek and kick its legs as he held it up high. "You seriously need to stop eating my customers when they're trying to BUY SOMETHING!!"

The Dweller just growled at him, to which he ignored it and glanced down at you. "What should I do with this thing?"

"Punch it!" You grinned, your fists balled up in front of you as you hopped up and down. "I wanna see how fast you could throw one!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Pleeeeaaase?"

"..ugh, if it gets that stupid puppy-eyed look off your face, fine." He looked back at the Dweller, grinning widely as he cracked his knuckles. "You wanna eat something so bad? Try this."

"....grahh-?"

In a blinding flash, his fist went through the creature's skull, effectively turning its head into dust. Then he dropped the whole body onto the ground with a grimance. "Eugh..never done that before.."

Then he looked down at you again, seeing your smile brighten. "Hope that made you happy."

"It did, that was amazing!" You laughed, kneeling down to rip off a chunk of the Dweller's flesh. He eyed you strangely, his expression changing to a look of horror as you shoved a piece in your mouth.

"What the f...why would you eat that?!"

"It's okay! I've had this stuff before." You swallowed, feeling rejuvenated already.

"B....Before?! What you're eating is clay and acid-"

"Actually, it's fresh meat. Reminds me of poultry, almost. I found a document somewhere saying that it has regenerative properties." You explained to Sebastian, whose eyes only widened the more you talked. "I didn't believe it at first until I saw the Angler kill one. I was hungry and...eating it healed my electrical burn somehow."

".......why was that not in its actual document?" He muttered.

You shrugged, ripping out another piece and offering it to him. "Care for a bite?"

"I'll..pass. But thanks." Lowering his body closer to you, he frowned. "Are you absolutely sure that-?"

"I'm sure."

"..you didn't even know what I was going to-"

"You were worried about my reaction to your file. I could tell from the discount signs and how you were scared to even look at me."

"............."

"But I promise it doesn't change anything, okay? We're still friends, Sebastian, and I'll still swing by to do business with you." You reassured him, smiling as you patted the back of his hand, before noticing the bandage on his third arm seemed bloody. "Um..when's the last time you changed that?"

"...oh this? Erm..it's fine." He attempted to hide it behind his back. "Nothing you should be concerned abou-"

"Too late. It's my concern now. Let me repay you for saving my tail."

He had no time to protest, as you were already on your feet and running for the medkit that was on the table. You weren't worried about getting to the next zone right now.

Not that Sebastian planned on kicking you out anytime soon.

No.

Now that he was able to confide in you, he was genuinely beginning to enjoy your company--especially as you asked him to rest his arm across your lap. From there, your gentle hands went to work changing the bandage out for a fresh one, using an alcohol spray to keep the wounds from getting infected.

He hissed and cursed a few times at the stinging pain, but not once did he try to get you to stop.

Suddenly, it all began to hit him in this exact moment.

You were willingly playing nurse to a giant sea monster that has killed a man and was responsible for the terrifying things you had to witness down here.

He couldn't understand..but at the same time he felt relieved that all along he had nothing to worry about.

"Th-That's fine..thank you.."

Hearing a sniffle, you glanced up as Sebastian hastily took his arm away, "standing" back up and turning away from you. You just smiled and patted his tail comfortingly, not saying a word as you waited for him to collect himself.

For once, that snarky and sarcastic fish you've come to know was gone, and he was letting his walls down, finally realizing he could trust you.

Eventually he fell silent, and you wondered what to do now. You bought everything you wanted to earlier, so you didn't wanna overstay your welcome-

"Do you mind staying for a little bit longer?"

The question surprised you, but you smiled and nodded. "Sure. As long as you don't mind, shrimpy."

There was a pause, and he slowly looked back at you, pouting. "Big talk coming from someone as tiny as you, friend." He playfully sneered.

You just laughed and shook your head, glad to see him in better spirits.

Thanks to that scrambler on his back, you didn't have to worry about HQ getting on your ass about continuing the mission or threatening detonation.

You could definitely stay awhile and ramble about more mantis shrimp facts to Sebastian...if he was willing to hear them, of course.

[maskedbyghost]

Heyyy, it's me again, but this time we're talking situationship!Simon—aka the biggest fuckboy you'll ever meet. Honestly, girl, I have no idea why you're still putting up with him!

you can’t even define what you two have, but one thing’s for sure—he knows how to use his dick, and you're both free to mess around with whoever you want. but of course, you had to fall for him, for that stupid smile he swore only you were special enough to see, for the gentle touch that lingered on your skin during those rare nights when he stayed longer than usual. you fell for the way he made you feel like you were the exception, even though deep down, you knew better.

you fell for how he made you feel like you were everything, even though he’d always leave just as quickly. he knew exactly how to keep you hooked—giving just enough to make you believe in him, but never enough to make it real. you wanted more, but every time he left, you remembered that his promises were as short-lived as his visits. still, you couldn’t stop going back, hoping that maybe this time, he’d actually mean it.

but he never did. you’d have fun for a few hours, but then he’d leave, acting like you didn’t exist around everyone else. he’d flirt with other girls right in front of you, not even bothering to hide it when he left with them, almost like he wanted you to see.

and every time, it hurt a little more, but you couldn’t bring yourself to end it. you told yourself you didn’t care, that it was just fun, but deep down, you wanted to be the one he stayed with. yet, no matter how much it hurt to watch him with someone else, the moment he came back, all that anger faded, and you let him in again, caught in the hope that maybe someday he’d truly see you as more than just a temporary fix.

one night, you tried to have a serious conversation with him, hoping that if you laid out your feelings, he might finally understand. but he dismissed your emotions with a shrug, listing reasons why he didn’t want a relationship: he was too focused on his career, he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he just didn’t want to deal with the complications. simon insisted that keeping things as they were was the best option for both of you.

afterward, as you lay together, a clear realization hit you. even though you were physically close, you couldn’t ignore the emptiness you felt. that night you made a silent promise to yourself: this would be the last time you let him in, and the last time you let yourself be trapped in this cycle.

and, being the dumb man he was, simon only came to realize what he had lost after you were gone. a few weeks after your last conversation, he saw you a few times out with other guys, laughing and flirting as if you were moving on. it hit him hard—a painful mix of jealousy and regret. he realized that he missed you, but at the same time, he knew he had no right to these feelings. not after treating you the way he did.  

he managed to keep his calm for a few more days, but the weight of his regret grew unbearable. finally, he snapped and called you into his office late one night, claiming he needed to discuss the upcoming mission with you.

as soon as you walked in, simon felt his heart tighten in his chest. seeing your face calm, confident, like you had already moved on, stirred something deeper than he expected. there was no trace of the vulnerability you used to show around him, no lingering affection. he realized, in that moment, just how much he had pushed you away. regret surged through him, sharper than he imagined, and he knew this conversation wouldn’t be easy.

after talking about unimportant stuff for a few minutes, simon took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “i know i messed up, and i’m sorry for how i treated you. i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened, and i realize now how much i regret it. i was wrong to push you away.”

you looked at him, your expression guarded. “it’s a little too late for apologies, simon, don't you think? you had plenty of chances to get it right, and now you’re just trying to fix things because you see me with someone else.”

he tried to reach out, his voice softening. “i know it’s not enough, but i want to make things right. i can’t stop thinking about what we had.”

you shook your head, stepping back. “you had your chance, and you threw it away. i’m not going to be your second choice or your backup plan.”

"y/n-"

"no, simon!" you sighed, closing your eyes briefly to gather your thoughts. when you spoke again, your voice was steady, "you know, some people never fade from memory. they leave a mark that lingers just beneath the surface, no matter how hard you try to move on. but to be honest, i’m not in the mood for any more humiliation or heartbreak. so, this is my final goodbye to you."

you could sense that he wanted to say something, but you couldn’t let him speak before you had your say. “go ahead and fill your life with new faces, as if i were nothing but a distant memory. enjoy your freedom and let others wear you out as they please. i’m done being part of that. keep moving forward, and if you ever try to reach out, know that i’ll let your calls go unanswered. for now, i’m celebrating the end of our chapter.”

even as he heard you declare the end, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he still wanted you in his life. he was stuck between guilt and the lingering hope that maybe he could still fix things. despite your rejection, part of him struggled to accept that he had truly lost you, and he felt powerless to change the situation or let you go.

simon’s face twisted with a mix of desperation and anger. “you think you can just walk away and erase everything we had? you think you can move on and leave me behind like I’m nothing?” he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but his voice was filled with raw intensity. “don’t fool yourself, i still want you, and i won’t just let you go. you’re mine, whether you like it or not. i know i’ve made mistakes, but i’m not done fighting for what we had. if you think you can find someone better, go ahead. but know this: i’ll keep groveling and doing whatever it takes until you take me back. i’m not going anywhere, and i’ll make sure you remember what we had.” he took a step back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

you just smirked, turning on your heel to leave. as you reached the door, you glanced back over your shoulder with a cold, confident look. “i can’t wait to see you on your knees,” you said, your voice sharp. then, you walked out, leaving him alone with his mess.

game on.

(I WANT HIM TO GROVEL FOR MONTHSSSS)

----------------------------------------------------------

@daydreamerwoah

[noxturnals-void]

Slashers with an s/o that has scars

Characters include:

Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Michael Myers, Jesse Cromeans, Asa Emory

———————————————————————————

Tw: scars, mentions of abuse, mentions of self-harm, toxic relationships, mentions of death/murder, characters being their questionable selves

(The scars are a mix of self-harm and abuse)

This is just a big mix of comfort imagines.

Feel free to add your own thoughts/ideas.

———————————————————————————

Jason Voorhees:

He’s confused when he first sees the marks on your arms and legs. Were you in an accident of some kind? You’d never mentioned anything of the sort before.

He won’t bring it up until he sees more across your shoulders and back.

It takes a long, very awkward conversation on your part to explain when he expresses worry toward the marks on your body.

He understands what abuse is, but mainly in the form of bullying. Having to explain abuse at the hands of people you trusted was much different in his mind.

He’s absolutely heartbroken. How could anyone have hurt you like this?

He will bury the anger he has toward the people who hurt you, very gently pulling you into a hug and squeezing you to his chest.

That’s all in the past now. He’s here. He would never, ever let anything like that happen to you again.

Thomas Hewitt:

Oh, he knows.

He could tell the moment he laid eyes on you that you were just like him. Hiding your arms away and recoiling from anyone who got too close.

He tries not to make a big deal of it. They look old, so he won’t mention it.

That is, until he catches you changing one day. He sees the collection of deep marks across your back. He’s not stupid, he knows you didn’t do those yourself.

This time, he does bring it up. He’s not judgemental. He understands, probably better than anyone in his family.

When you feel comfortable, you share what happened to you.

He doesn’t push for details. He has enough imagination and his own experiences to supplement any information you decide to give.

He just pats you on the head, grunting low. His way of telling you it’s okay. You’re safe from those people.

You’re part of his family now, after all. He will protect you.

Bo Sinclair:

It doesn’t take long for him to notice.

Unlike him, you don’t hide your scars very well.

Maybe it’s because you don’t mind that he sees. Perhaps it’s because you sometimes forget they are part of you. He doesn’t know.

He asks about the scars the next time you two are alone. It catches you so far off guard you freeze.

You explain, trying not to go into too much detail. Someone you trusted hurt you in an unrepairable way. That was something he could understand.

He gets upset on your behalf, something in your story triggering a part of him he thought he’d buried deep down enough not to deal with anymore.

He doesn’t get sappy about his own scars, but he’ll show them to you in an effort to sympathize.

You’re not alone in your feelings. He reassures you that everything will be alright and that it wasn’t your fault. He’ll watch out for you now.

Vincent Sinclair:

He first saw the scars when you posed for him for a quick sketch.

He was tactful, pointing out the marks in a subtle way. When you don’t quite understand what he’s getting at (thinking you might be posing wrong or something), he walks over and uses his wax-coated hands to investigate your skin.

Was it some type of accident? Had someone done this to you? His blood boiled at even the thought of someone hurting you. 

When you opened up about the backstory to your scars, he withheld his emotions from your eyes. He was angry, of course. He wanted to hurt the people who had hurt you.

He holds you in his lap as he continues with his sketch. He doesn’t truly need you to pose for him. Your shape is already burned into the depths of his memory.

He gently massages his hand over the scars on your arms and legs while his other hand sketches.

It’s the closest he can get to telling you how perfect you are. You’re his muse. His heart.

He will never let you feel unprotected. He’ll keep you safe.

Lester Sinclair:

Poor guy is so awkward about bringing it up.

He noticed the marks littering your body some time ago but never dared to ask.

He was already pretty sure of the answer, but he preferred to hear your side of the story before making any assumptions.

Your story breaks his heart little by little. He cries for you, grieved you had gone through what you had.

He holds you, telling you you’re perfect and didn’t deserve what had happened to you. He’s so sorry you went through it.

He’ll whisper affirmations to you for as long as you let him. He is here for you now. You are not alone anymore. It is all in the past.

He’s got you, and he’s never gonna let you go.

Michael Myers:

He likely won’t point them out.

He knows, of course. You’ve changed clothes in front of him on more than one occasion.

Sometimes, if he’s got the mask off, you might catch him staring. Otherwise, you can feel his eyes trace the pattern of marks over your body.

When you talk about it, he listens. He might not sympathize or react emotionally like others do to your story, but he does listen. He does care.

No one but him is allowed to hurt you. The rage of someone else laying their hands on you has him itching for his knife.

Someone you trusted hurt you? What’s their name?You mention a location they frequented in the past. Got it.

He’ll hunt them down within the week.

You won’t question the blood on him when he comes home late a few days later.

He holds you close that night, not allowing you to move from his side until dawn.

You’ll understand his unusually clingy behavior when you hear about a recent murder on the news.

You’re his. They can’t hurt you anymore.

Jesse Cromeans:

He sees the marks across your arms one evening.

His phone drones a partially insensitive joke about the scars, but he sees the way you react to them being mentioned and leaves it be.

He doesn’t talk about them again until you’re ready.

He has a big ego on him, but that doesn’t mean he will force it out of you.

When you do tell him what happened to you, he’s furious. Someone hurt his favorite little piggy?

He’s going to hunt them down. Spann is already in the process of finding their address.

They won’t get a video, though. This isn’t a film; this is revenge.

When everything is said and done, he’s going on a shopping spree. A big bouquet of your favorite flowers, all your favorite treats, and your favorite series/movie in the disc player ready for a long night in.

You’re blissfully unaware of what has happened to cause this treatment, and he will keep it that way.

From then on, he reminds you that your scars do not change how he feels about you. You’re perfect. He made sure they won’t ever harm you again.

Asa Emory:

He’s scarily observant. It didn’t take him long at all to find out.

He asks directly, lacking a certain amount of tact someone else might deploy for this kind of conversation. He’s not one for beating around the bush verbally.

He’s surprisingly understanding when you tell him about your past abuse. He experienced similar things in his youth. He won’t share, of course.

He doesn’t use your scars against you like he would if it were something else deeply personal.

Usually, he’d discover a pressure point such as this and use it to manipulate you subtly. This is not a pressure point he will use often, if at all.

You’re his now. You belong to him in every sense of the word. Whatever scars you gain now will be from him and only him, and only when they’re done intentionally.

You’re his favorite pet in the collection. The marks across your body don’t detract from your value in his eyes.

He will create masterful works of art out of your past, enmeshing it with your future with him.

[thatfrailsoul]

– Nourishing your soul, treasuring your bonds

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

("Sleeping Beauty in the Wood", Maxfield Parrish)

It is already challenging enough to find within ourselves the courage to be who we want, who we truly are... Enough to assume that once done that - there is nothing, no one, else to worry about... And yet here you are. Pressured by this doubt that you shouldn't have in the first place. The one that choosing your own self - your goal, desires, your needs - might be not right for you, or even worse... not aligned with the path of your loved ones.

So... are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself? Will the ones you cherish understand and help you with this journey? Will your paths still remain aligned, side by side? Can you really do this for yourself, without being forced to say to them goodby?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

A little message to the beautiful soul that requested this reading: Your questions truly moved me. I felt them deep down, as I too asked myself the same things so many times... So I wanted to do my best by looking closely at each question on your mind. It will be a slightly long reading... But I hope that it will give you the clarity that you are trying to find.

_

– Pile One,

three of swords, six of cups, the hermit

When we are growing, feeling the real change in ourselves, in the parts of us that for so long we didn't take care of and forgot... It is inevitable to feel more deeply, to see things that we never noticed before. In the world around us. In our life. In the people by our side. It is inevitable to, suddenly, feel resistance, perhaps judgment from some and even concern from others... Exactly in those things and actions that are so connected to us feeling better, stronger, more confident about what we deserve and who we are...

And it's confusing, you know. First comes the hurt and frustration, of doing all this work but not being seen, congratulated, appreciated for the new aura radiating from us and that makes us so proud. Almost like they don't like and don't want the better version of us... Then comes in the doubt and fear that it is the truth. That what you know for sure is the best thing for you... It's something that is so inconvenient for them. That perhaps, unconsciously, you once again became fond of people that were just so good at wearing a mask. Hiding underneath their true them, that is so different from who you want by your side and who you want to become.

And all of these doubts and convictions are so overwhelming for your mind. The only place where you have the courage to think about it, to consider, to try to find a solution... Because just speaking up and asking them about it out loud... feels so risky, so dangerous. Something that will be the end of a bond that perhaps is completely fine, and that you are complicating on your own in your mind.

But the thing is... Although we can indeed sometimes misunderstand one intention for another, through their actions or their words... There are only so many times that you can wrongly read the room or their tone while they are speaking their mind. Even if you convince yourself that sometimes you are a little too defensive or feeling a little "too much"... you are not naive. You are not completely new to this world. You already had these doubts, these uneasy feelings, these intuitions or fears about those by your side. It's not the first time that you are being supported on your decisions or journeys, and in the same way it's not the first time that you discover that someone is not in fact your "ride or die".

And this exact fact that it is not the first time, of fearing to need to let go of someone, being so affectionate but at the same time aware that you are for some reason not aligned, makes it all so incredibly hard... that you wander if perhaps making a step back and leaving the things the way they were, might be better than creating so many changes and chaos in your life.

But you are doing the right thing, you really and truly do. You didn't go so far, found this strength and courage, to doubt this journey now. Now that you are already halfway through it. So close to the finishing line. You didn't go through all of this for yourself, to ask then if everything will be fine, if they will in the end understand, accept the new you and stay... When what you truly want and are afraid to know is if you indeed need to let go of them as you are feeling now. If you need to leave behind those that judge so much who you are becoming, already hurting a version of you that is still so new, even if it will hurt so much your heart.

You already know all of this deep down, that it might indeed be the necessary thing to do. And you are also aware of the fact that you don't really want to do it, to choose between you and them, losing one or another, not being able to maintain both. You remember how difficult it is, feeling, being alone. And it only complicates everything. A decision that you are not able to make because both options see you suffering, because of others or of the void left in the place where they used to be.

So... Let me rephrase it a little for you: do you really want to need to justify your decisions or who you are, constantly defending yourself from those that should support and appreciate you and your life? Are you really ready for a constant battle with those by your side?

Because, are you doing the right thing by choosing yourself or not, is not even a question that should cross your mind. You are on the right path. You are doing the right thing. You are doing just fine. You are actually making the most important steps in manifesting on your own that life that you want to experience and enjoy. Starting from you. And through you - with those around you.

And this moment of resistance, this moment of you seeing so much difference between you and others in your life, it's not a way of the Universe to tell you that you are making the wrong decision, becoming too different and less relevant or appealing to those that you want with you. But it's rather a way to make you understand that not everyone can or needs to stay here for a lifetime. Not everyone can be satisfied and completely aligned with what you have in mind. And if there is a right way to choose who to have by your side... well it's for sure by sharing your feellings and thoughts, your desires and intentions, openly. Seeing who feels excited for you, who is proud of you and understands... Or who is feeling hurt, only because for once you are prioritizing your own self and what is the best for your life.

We indeed are, at some extent, the people that we have by our side. They influence us in how they treat us, their opinions, their convictions in which we start to believe too. They form you, consciously or not, through the ways they support you or judge you, limiting your decisions or your steps.

So don't hide in your mind for the sake of others. Don't try to analyse or understand all on your own. Looking for a solution to make everyone happy and satisfied. Think only about yourself now, exactly like this journey requires. Follow your own plan and path. And allow others to be themselves, like you are the true you now. Even if it means that your paths will go different ways. Because no matter how sad or difficult, it is still fine. To be different and to live different lives.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Two,

the four of cups, the eight of coins, the ten of cups

Look at you - you are just blooming. With all the courage and strength that you've found to finally and truly take care of yourself. To nourish your soul, make it smile and feel free and alive. You got through so much, through so many new and uncomfortable steps. You faced and made peace with so many parts of you that were consuming you, filling you with anger, fear and despair...

You did it. You truly did. But you managed to do so by hiding yourself. Creating that safe space away from everyone. From their opinions, "advices" regarding your life and how you should make it through. From all the people that talked so much, but so rarely listened to you. Becoming for yourself, on your own, the closest and dearest person by your side. The one that you can truly trust your heart with, the one that can so gently calm your mind. You connected to yourself so deeply, finding so much within yourself... that you don't really feel the need to have someone else. Especially those that remained their old self, not changing even a bit in this time that you spent by yourself.

And now that you "came back", felt strong and confident enough to meet them once again... The difference between you, the moments of silence or of the conflicts, were just too loud. And where before you felt uncomfortable, you just started feeling completely out of place now. Seeing only strangers in a life that is supposedly full of people, so many of them by your side.

But there is a thing about you... About how you don't really accept the idea of giving up, of considering something, someone, a lost cause. You didn't do it for yourself, demonstrating how much a person can change, grow and start to shine again. And you don't want to do it for them, for those that... You really do want to see one day understanding you, the way you see and feel this world, perhaps finally appreciating you, cherishing you the same way you learned to do it with your own self and them too.

And you can really do it. You can really see this change in them one day, even if now it seems so impossible to find a way to speak to them more deeply, enough to touch their soul and give them a new goal, a new hope. It will happen. It is already happening now. Because of you.

With your courage, or despair, in finding your true self, in taking care of yourself, you unconsciously created an example. You demonstrated silently that there is no need to suffer and be pressured by a version of you that just doesn't fit you so well anymore. You showed that, although something so new and perhaps complicated at first to do - it is so worth it. To open up. To your own self and to others. To this life, the things that it always teaches us, but that we sometimes are not so ready to learn and make ours.

You created something so beautiful, by simply choosing yourself no matter what. Like a little seed that you hid in their subconscious mind, it started to grow, manifesting itself in their actions and decisions. That for once started to be for themselves, for their good, for their safety and wellbeing. Unlocking a new version of them, that sees so much more now in their life and their bonds. Cherishing every moment more.

It might not be something that you can see already now, not when it is something so little, that even they are only now starting to notice and appreciate more... And not everyone will bloom and grow... But those that will, they will surprise you so profoundly, they will surprise themselves. In seeing how much your paths evolved and changed, aligning themselves even though you both started to feel like it is time to let each other go.

You will rediscover each other, get to know again so many people that you were convinced to already know, finding out how actually similar, closer your hearts are. But... Just give it time. Be patient, the same way you were with yourself and the journey that you were on all this time. They are growing too, they are changing, and it is something that goes so differently for every person, that requires a different rhythm and pace from perhaps the ones that were comfortable and right for your soul.

Don't worry about it, everything will be fine. Continue to focus on yourself, on protecting your new boundaries and expressing your new ideas and passions. Gently, sweetly, exactly like the way you are. Radiating your beautiful light, and showing others a way to find their own right path.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

– Pile Three,

the knight of cups, the king of swords and the six of coins

When we start to strive for more, to have this deep need for a change, for a better life and us... It is sometimes almost impossible to not be overwhelmed with all that motivation and energy. With that desire to do everything at once, making progress as fast as possible and being finally able to enjoy this better life.

It is so difficult to not get caught up in all of this... That sometimes this incredible glow around your soul that grows so beautifully - just starts to blind your own eyes and mind. Making you see - where at first there was so much enthusiasm, motivation, exciting new steps - just so many more sacrifices and things to do. Just for a chance to live well and feel good.

And it just drags you back down. In that discouragement and tiredness, in that doubt of really being ready to start this journey. Of wanting it truly at all. And while you fall back in this spiral, in this paralysis of not knowing what is best or worse, if to need to work for a new life enduring again all those challenges and battles... Or to continue this one even though it just doesn't speak anymore to your soul... In all of this your mind is just working too much. Day after day, doubt after doubt, making you forget a little but important detail: you don't need to do it all alone.

Yes it was you idea, yes it is indeed your story, your life that you are doing all of this for... But a journey is not always so limited to only one soul. It is not always meant to be faced on your own. But you assumed it, too caught up in these emotions that a start of a new journey filled your heart. You isolated yourself, hid yourself from this life that doesn't suit you anymore, and from the people around you that just didn't felt aligned. You hid yourself, and started to create everything from scratch on your own. Facing so many new things and questions that you never considered before. Refusing to ask for help, to have opinions of others, because you knew for sure that the same way they never understood they won't do it now too... You convinced yourself of this. Taking away from you perhaps one of the most powerful and beautiful details of a journey: the strength and courage that gives you the not being alone.

It is true that, no matter how much you love those by your side, they are still so different in the way they see and feel this world, in how they want to experience this life... But different is not always negative. It is not necessarily source of judgment, lack of understanding and appreciation, lack of support... Sometimes, exactly that "different" is what can help you find new solutions, answers, new ways of overcoming an obstacle on the road you are trying to walk. Sometimes it is exactly that support and needed hand that can help you navigate your emotions and doubts.

They are different. But this doesn't mean that they don't love you or don't want to see you bloom as the most beautiful flower of this world. They are here for you, and they show it in the only way, from the only perspective that they know... But they can also do it differently, if only you let them learn, allow them to understand fully what is it that you are looking for.

They have so many other versions of perceptions and opinions different from yours. But this is where their strength is. This is where the strength that they can give you is. So many new ways of facing things, of advices, of experiences, of more delicate or more straightforward approaches. So much help that they can give you on your journey, if only you allow them to.

Don't hide yourself, don't assume that they will not understand. Because there is nothing that they want more - to help you be your authentic and most confident self. You grew up, you changed, your mind learned so well to be open to others and their ways. And they can do it too. If you allow them to learn from you. To stay by your side as you make your first steps, to see you, to feel you. And to protect and guide you, helping you to don't doubt, to don't be afraid, and to believe in yourself.

And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡

_

_

[grandlinedreams]

|| in the same reader setting as [this]

|| warnings: lil bit of angst/self-deprecation, reader has spine, some drama for the sake of it, had Bryce's starlight power in mind w reader

Some days, you wonder why you're here. Objectively, you know why ㅡ but beyond the obvious circumstances, you can't puzzle it out.

Especially as you watch your sisters seemingly click into place. Feyre, of course, has always had a spot ㅡ as High Lady, mate to Rhysand. Nesta has come into her own as well, finding her strength with the Valkyries and Cassian. And even Elain seems more and more comfortable here.

You still aren't sure where you fit in. It's an echo of how it'd once been back home, before all of it ㅡ a careful balance to not take too much, need too much ㅡ to do what you could to help. Unremarkable in all aspects, you suppose, for being Nesta's twin.

Feyre has often likened you to the two sides of the moon ㅡ cut from the same cloth, but so very different.

And the longer that you go in living here, the more it unsettles you ㅡ until it eventually comes to a breaking point of needing to do something.

And you begin watching training sessions. The Valkyries, Nesta, Cassian and Azriel ㅡ it doesn't matter who it is, you watch ㅡ a book in your lap as an excuse. You don't know why you don't want them knowing what you're truly up to, as there's no shame to be had in wanting to defend yourself.

All the same, you don't breathe a word of it to anyone. Your own sessions are self-made, mimicry clumsy and often times uncoordinated ㅡ but you're trying, and that's enough. Illyrian warrior you are not ㅡ but at least it's something.

ㅡ

"Thank-you for coming with me today," Elain tells you as you walk beside her, pace sedate as she glances at the shops to the right, your own attention on the Sidra to the left.

"Of course," you answer, and you can't help but glance back. Several paces away, Azriel trails behind, looking for all the world relaxed ㅡ though you know he misses nothing. Though Elain had asked you to accompany her, part of you wonders if Azriel had been hoping to be alone with her ㅡ you've caught the quiet looks that he's shot her every now and then today.

Sun warming your shoulders, you find your attention back on the Sidra, the gleam of light refracting off the surface. Velaris is beautiful, and you can understand why Rhys worked so hard to keep this place a secret from Amarantha.

"Elain," you begin, "do you thinkㅡ" You cut yourself off, abruptly aware that your sister is no longer at your side ㅡ nor is Azriel behind you. In your absent mindedness, you must have kept walking when Elain hadn't ㅡ and your stomach tightens at the realization that you have no idea where you are.

Stay calm, you think, pushing down the tendrils of instinctive alarm as you try to orient yourself, though none of the buildings are even vaguely familiar. Just how far had you gone?

"Lost?" The voice that speaks from behind you is wholly unfamiliar as you whirl, eyes locking with the deep green of a fae male who approaches you.

"No," you answer coolly, pushing down how the steady rove of his gaze over you makes your skin crawl. "I'm on my way to meet with my sister, actually."

"Oh." He takes another step to you. "Allow me to escort you?"

"No. That won't be necessary," you answer. There's an edge to your tone that you can hear, razor sharp ㅡ and you move to skirt around him. "If you'll excuse meㅡ"

Fingers snap around your wrist, squeezing with enough force to hurt as you're yanked to a halt. Something stirs in your chest. "Let go of me."

"Not until you apologize," comes the rough reply. "I'm trying to be kind, and you're veing rude."

You can feel your skin bruising under his grip, the ache of your wrist ㅡ and your other hand is curling into a fist and snapping up before you truly think about it.

The punch lands against his jaw and he grunts, letting up on your wrist enough for you to wrench it free with a venomous hiss that'd make Nesta proud as warmth bubbles in your veins, licking up your spine as it buzzes beneath your skin. "Get your hands off me."

The male's eyes blaze before he's lunging for you, hand fisting into your hair to yank you back ㅡ and the world splinters into bright, dazzling light. It blazes, burns brighter than faelight with all the warmth of a summer day as you hear the male yelp ㅡ and then you're on your knees, hands aching as you press your palms to the rough stone and struggle to even your breathing.

The sharp cry of your name and the rapid approach of footsteps is the only warning you get before arms are around you, pulling you close ㅡ Elain.

"Are you okay? One minute you were beside me and then you weren't, we were looking everywhere for you and ㅡ oh, look at your handsㅡ" Her fussing is going in one ear and out the other as she coaxes you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you to Madja, okay?"

You don't remember much of the trek back, lost in a mute daze that has Elain shooting Azriel a worried look and asking for him to escort you to Madja so she can go tell Feyre what happened.

You're quiet even as the healer looks over your hands, the raw skin of your knuckles and knees where you hit the ground ㅡ and still not a word leaves your lips until Feyre is calling your name, hands on your shoulders.

"Elain told me what happened, but she said there was a burst of light right before they found youㅡ"

"Me," you mumble, cutting her off. "That was me. I think." Feyre stares at you, but you're studying your hands. "It...it came from me."

"Oh," Feyre breathes, then glances at Rhysand, who's watching you.

"It's possible she's yielded her powers," he says. "We'll have to see what the extent of it is, and go from there."

It feels a little weird, being discussed as though you aren't there ㅡ and you're more than grateful when the only one left is Azriel, who watches you as you keep studying your hands.

"...the male who grabbed me," you mumble. "I punched him."

"Good." Azriel's shadows had been the ones to report where you were and what was happening ㅡ and the fury he'd felt had been interrupted by that burst of light. "Don't feel bad for defending yourself."

"That's the thing," you answer. "I don't." Your brow furrows. "I'm not...like Nesta or Feyre, or Elain." You pause. "I don't know what I am."

He knows you mean more than just today, that this has been haunting you for a while ㅡ ever since the events that'd landed you here. He can sympathize, truly ㅡ and then he's approaching to ease your hands apart from where you'd been picking at the gauze over your knuckles.

"You don't need to be anything like them," he tells you, then tenses as you study his hands ㅡ broader than yours and scarred ㅡ and then you slot your fingers between his and squeeze gently.

"I have a question," you murmur, letting your other hand rise to trace a fingertip over his knuckles, seemingly unaware of what the simple touch is doing to him. "I...I've been watching all of you train, but I'd like to actually be taught properly."

Azriel hums. "Cassianㅡ"

"No," you counter, fingers tightening around his. "I want you."

Azriel stills for several long moments where he swears thst his heart stutters, stops, then resumes before he answers. "Okay."

[peterparkouryo]

cloak and dagger | ꕥ

ꕥ

prompt; You and Peter keep your relationship a secret

warnings: fluff, kissing, steamy making out (yw), mentions of smut

word count: 3.2k

You found that friends can fall in love in many ways. It's said that there's often times that romantic feelings can develop over time the more the two people spend their time together, and get to know each-other on a deep level.

Obviously, at first it took you a long time to come to that sort of realization.

You were friends with Peter since childhood, always spending time together every chance you got. From playing on the swings to sharing your first high school dance together.

Honestly, you didn't know the exact moment you started seeing the boy more than just a friend, but you know it happened nonetheless. 

The stolen glances and lingering touches continued for a while until one of the two of you had decided it was enough of the palpable tension between you both.

The first kiss was an unforgettable one, and not because it was also the very first one where you two deflowered each-other. It was just something about it that felt so right and you always wondered why it took the two of you so long to come to a realization that it was just meant to be.

Now two months into the relationship, it was a mutual decision to keep it a secret. As it was your first relationship, as well as Peter's, you wanted it to be perfect, testing the waters of your intimacy without anyone's judgement. 

You had this strange feeling that if you were to share that you two were dating it would ruin the special bond that only Peter and yourself would ever truly understand.

So far, you'd like to say that it was going fairly well, managing to keep a secret from not only your friends but your dad, who would have Peter's head if he were to ever find out.

You were laying in your bed, recovering from an insufferable cold you caught from Peter, who told you he was "fine", but ultimately he was not and you cursed him for opting to continue his patrolling instead of getting the well rest he needed.

You did get to miss school, but still had to study for your test retakes, and it was not an ideal thing you wanted to do on your free time away from that prison.

You let out a long, dramatic sigh, closing your Physics textbook, done with the studying for the night.

Three familiar knocks are at your window before you can decide on what type of snack you wanted from the kitchen.

There's a smile etched on your face as you remove yourself from your blanket, standing up from the bed and approaching the window to pull back your curtains, Peter standing in all his glory, his brown eyes gleaming at you with a bright smile on his face.

You open the window to let him in.

"You do know what time it is right?" You ask the boy, watching as he climbs in before shutting your window quietly.

"It's like one am, right?" Peter answers unsurely, turning around and engulfs you in a bear hug, you feel a comforting warmth settle at his gesture.

"Yeah, and what would May think if she found out her nephew snuck out after curfew?"

Peter shrugs, pulling away slightly to give you a kiss.

"I already told her I was spending the night with Ned." He reassures, pulling away from your figure fully, walking over to your large dresser.

Peter opens a drawer, rummaging through the one reserved for all his clothes for whenever he spends the night with you.

"And what did you tell Ned?" You ask, sitting down on your bed.

Peter stays quiet for a few minutes, still searching for what you assume are probably pyjamas and he turns around with a Star Wars shirt you bought him for his birthday, and his Nightmare Before Christmas pyjama pants.

"Uh, nothing?" The boy cringes when you roll your eyes.

"Peter, what's the point of keeping this relationship a secret if you're not gonna keep up with your lies?" You laugh, the boy grabs a towel from your bottom drawer.

Peter once again turns around, glancing behind you at the cluttered mess on your bed, his lips turn upright and ignores your question.

"There's no way you're still studying for that physics test." The boy almost laughs and you groan at his words.

"Well if someone listened to me when I told them to rest when they were sick and didn't spend every waking minute with their girlfriend, I'd had been taken that test and probably got a decent grade on it." You countered, glaring at Peter who just smiles with a nod.

A comforting silence evades you two, Peter pokes his tongue against his cheek before sighing.

"Well, I be right back," He gestures the clothes and towel in his hold. "Feel free to join me if you want." Peter smirks, and you narrow your eyes at the boy.

"I would but I took a shower earlier." You tell him casually.

Peter pouts at your words, and he decides he best not linger in your bedroom in case someone in the tower makes it to the bathroom before he does, and questions why in god's name was he there. It'd be a hassle coming up with a lie then.

You throw your school work off your bed, making room for Peter's space, snuggling under your blanket after your accomplishment and it takes only a few seconds after settling in your comfort to realize just how tired you were.

You struggle to keep your eyes open, fighting the urge to lull yourself to sleep, but you loose the battle anyhow, the drowsy feeling becoming stronger as you close your eyes and slip easily into your dreams.

-

To say getting Peter out of your room before your dad did his daily ritual of waking you up for school was extremely difficult would be an understatement.

First, you had to wake up at four because your dad wakes up at six for a business meeting that lasts at least an hour before he comes into your room. Then you had to get Peter up and take a shower with the boy to save him from the high risk of your dad coming into your room to a sleeping Peter, and the what was supposed to be a quick and peaceful shower turns into a quickie, that lasts longer than what the name stands for. 

Finally after the shower sex, you hear voices in the hallway just outside the bathroom and you two have to wait for god knows how long just to run all the way back to your bedroom, and you were so very thankful that you and Peter had not manage to bump into anyone on the way.

Things take a scary turn when your dad bursts into your room (thankfully after you were successfully changed), and demands you to hurry up so Happy could take you to school, and Peter hurriedly hides in your closet as soon as he hears the door open. 

Your anxiety dies down when he leaves you to get ready and Peter is practically shaking when you retrieve him from the closet, and you have to bite back a laugh at his state.

Peter bids you a goodbye, exiting out your window and tells you he'll meet you at school. You close your window after his departure, also making your way to school in the backseat of Happy's car.

"Y/N." A voice startles you, you close your locker and turn around.

"MJ." You retort her voice and she shows you a smile.

"How was your weekend?" The girl questions and you shrug.

Michelle "MJ" Jones, has probably been your friend for well over a year and you two may not have similar lives, but your personalities fit so well that you just clicked the minute your teacher assigned you to sit next to each-other of your sophomore year in your criminology class.

"Boring, all I did was study, sleep, and slept some more." You tell her, the two of you walking to your first class of the day.

"Sounds fun." She deadpans and she sighs out in annoyance when she notices both Ned and Peter making their way toward you both.

You and Peter share a smile when the boys reach you.

"Hey Y/N," Peter waves at you, and you smile and wave back, his drops when he glances at MJ. 

"Michelle."

"Loser."

Ned rolls his eyes and gives you a look that you laugh at.

You met Ned through Peter, and the boy had always thought you and Peter were dating when he first met you, but you assured him that you weren't and it took a lot of convincing to prove just that to him. Little did he know, a few years later you two do start dating, just unbeknownst to him.

When you introduced the boys to MJ, they were a little reluctant for whatever reasons that might have been, but of course Ned being the sweetest boy ever eventually accepts the girl in your small friend group, and Peter on the other hand, well he had later explained that she was a bit too brutally honest with him, so he still apparently holds a grudge to her.

It was safe to say MJ had not really cared about that anymore, but Peter very much did. 

What made matters worst for the boy is that you four had almost every single class together, so it was inevitable to escape Michelle's sarcastic presence, and she also just happens to be friends with his friends. 

"Did you get invited to Flash's party?" Ned quizzes when the four of you start walking again, and you raise your eyebrow at his question.

"No, why would I?" You wonder.

"Well, because you're Y/N Stark, and you know, Flash is kind of, popular?" Ned tells you in just the same amount of confusion as you were in.

"Yeah, but doesn't mean I'm gonna go, no matter my social status." You tell him with a nod.

Ned smiles at the confirmation.

"Good, cause it's game night tonight."

You share a look with Peter, you both are clearly hesitant with that information, and you quickly look away from the boy before either of your friends notice.

"Oh, uh I don't think I can make it." You frown, and so does Ned.

You four make it to your first period, entering the classroom and going all the way to the back where your unassigned assign seats were.

"Aw man." Ned huffs as he sits at his desk.

"Why?" MJ stares at you expectingly when Peter sits behind you as she settles across from you.

You freeze at the question, racking through your brain for an easy lie to tell.

You couldn't exactly tell them you and Peter had a date that the two of you were planning for a few days now.

"Um.." You trail off.

It was only a matter of time and you couldn't think of a believable lie fast enough.

"Don't you have that thing with Mr. Stark? You know, the family dinner you were telling me about?" Peter questions, and you turn around to look at the boy, giving him a nod that says 'thank you, I love you'.

"Yes, I do." You confirm, and Ned mouths an 'oh', Michelle flickers her eyes between both you and Peter curiously.

You had almost forgot just how observant this girl was, and how easy it was for her to see through a lie.

"Maybe next time." Ned says, turning around fully in his seat.

Peter nods before pulling out his notebook and pencil.

You decide to finally focus in as well, doing the exact thing Peter does and ignoring Michelle's piercing gaze.

Only then does the girl finally decide to leave you alone when the bell rings and the teacher starts his boring lesson.

-

After school, Happy picks you up and takes you to run a few errands your mother needed you to do for her, and you text Peter to meet you in your room, telling the boy to make sure your door is locked when you get there.

He doesn't respond, so you have no idea if he got your text or not, and it makes you a bit worried.

However, when you return home from the errands, you discover that Peter did indeed get your texts, but before he could respond, his phone died. You shake your head at his irresponsible habit of never charging his phone.

"Dinner with my dad?" You question, closing your bedroom door quietly, and Peter chuckles with a shrug of his shoulders.

"What? Did you want me to tell them that I'll have my head in between your legs instead?" The boy questions, and you snort at his expense.

"Peter." You warn.

"I'm joking!" He exclaims defensively.

"Sort of."

"Peter!"

"Okay, okay." Peter laughs, pulling you in for a hug.

You sigh in content, accepting his hug and feeling that yet again familiar comforting warmth whenever Peter's aura was around. He had that sort of effect on you.

"Missed you, so much." Peter mumbles in your hair.

"You seen me all day." You laugh.

"That's not what I meant." The boy pulls away, gazing down at you, and you stare back, noticing the suggestive glint in his eyes.

"Peter, we can't." You whisper as he leans in closer, feeling his breath fan over your lips.

"I know." Peter replies back in the same tone, his gaze dances between yours and your lips.

You subconsciously lean closer.

"Maybe we could watch a movie or something before our date." You suggest, you nervously swallow when all Peter does is nod and leans in as well.

"Yeah, or.." He trails off when you two lean impossibly closer.

Your breath hitches, one of Peter's hands cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin. You close your eyes, savouring the tingling sensation that spread through your body. Peter's lips met yours in a soft, tentative kiss, and your heart skipped.

You respond eagerly, your hands finding their way to Peter's shoulders, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, your mouths moving in sync, tongues dancing in a passionate tango. You felt a rush of heat as Peter's arms wrap around your waist, pulling you tightly against him. Your senses were heightened, every touch, taste, and scent amplified.

Peter's lips trailed down to your neck, and you let out a soft moan, your fingers tangling in his hair. Peter's breath grew heavier, his desire evident in the way he held you.

But as the passion escalated, you pull back slightly, your chest heaving. You look into Peter's eyes, your cheeks flushed.

"Peter," You laugh at his pout, running a hand through his hair, pulling away from his body.

"As much as I would love to, we can't, Tony is lterally downstairs." You argue with a shrug, going to sit on your bed, Peter not too far behind.

He sits next to you with a sigh, huffing in annoyance before bending down and taking off his shoes, placing them under your bed.

You fix your hair, turning to face Peter with a smile when he leans back up, the boy reciprocates your actions, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

You smile, observing his post make-out daze, wondering how someone so pure, and radiant could be so adorable. You love everything about Peter, from his unruly curls down to his beat up sneakers.

"You're so cute." You tell him, your gaze filled with longing and Peter chuckles at your compliment.

"And you're so pretty." He says back, his hand reaching out to brush against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine.

Without a word, Peter leaned in, capturing your lips into another breathtaking kiss.

Despite your previous warnings, you give in, your hands found their way to Peter's chest, feeling his strong muscles underneath your fingertips. You pull him closer, the boy laying the two of you down on the bed as your mouths moved together hungrily.

Peter's lips trail down to your neck once again, you gasp, arching your back as his lips left a trail of fire against your skin. Peter's hands roamed over your body, exploring your curves with a gentleness that no matter how many times he did, always managed to make you melt.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, kissing him with abandon, your desires spiralling out of control. Peter's touch was electric, igniting a fire in you that you could never find in yourself to ignore.

Your breath came in ragged breaths when Peter's lips finds yours again, and you respond eagerly, your tongues dancing in a fiery duet. Peter's hands slipped under your shirt, his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body. You let out a soft moan, urging him on.

But just as things get heated, your door opens with force, and both you and Peter break apart rather quickly, your gazes darting to where MJ and Ned stand, both holding different expressions.

"Guys, what the hell?" You scold, fixing your shirt as both you and Peter sit up, putting distance in between you two.

"Does your dad know that you occasionally suck face with your so called friend?" MJ jokes, Ned snorts at her quip, and you give her a unamused look.

"How did you get in here?" You ask, ignoring her question, briefly watching as Ned wanders around your room curiously.

"Some grumpy guy let us in when we told him we were here to help you with your missing work." She tells you with a shrug, and you groan, keeping in mind to confront Happy later.

Peter sighs next to you, anxiously rubbing his hands on his jean pants.

"But seeing as your busy keeping your relationship a secret from us, we'll leave." MJ snides, gesturing for Ned to follow her out your room.

You share a look with Peter and he gestures his head for you to follow both of them, and you glare at him before getting up from your bed, calling your friends name out before they could reach the elevator.

Ned turns around quicker than MJ does, the girl slowly turning around in annoyance.

"We wanted to tell you guys, but this is all new to us, and we didn't want you to judge, honest." You explain, nervously fiddling with your fingers, hearing faint footsteps behind you.

Peter nods in agreement, watching MJ stare the two of you down, and you had never wanted anyone's approval as much as you wanted hers.

You knew she wasn't too fond of Peter, and the thought of her only best friend spending her alone time with him probably broke her heart.

"It's not that I'm mad that you kept your relationship a secret, I understand that and if it makes you feel better, I'd never judge you, no matter the person." MJ tells truthfully, and you let out a sigh of relief at her words.

"Yeah, me either." Ned agrees, and Peter shows his best friend an appreciative smile.

"I always knew you were hiding something, but had I known it was Peter, I wouldn't had cared as much." MJ scrunches her nose up in fake disgust.

Showing MJ a very sarcastic smile, Peter rolls his eyes before shaking his head.

"So, we're good?" You ask, stepping closer to MJ.

"Yeah, just don't be so couple around me." She warns, pointing a finger at the two of you.

"Deal." You agree, holding your arms out toward the girl, she hesitates at first, giving her lack of liking affection before giving in.

"Oh, we'll make sure to be extra couple." Peter blurts out from behind the two of you.

You pull away from MJ, the girl giving your boyfriend the middle finger to which both you and Ned laugh at.

Sure, eventually you would have to tell your dad, but that was another can of worms you'd worry about opening later.

[calisources]

𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences on this memes are taken from different sources of literature, television and media about enemies to lovers trope and enemies and lovers trope with some angst thrown into the mix. Change pronouns, names and locations as you see fit.

Does it hurt? Loving someone who can’t love you back?

Break his crown, break his throne, rip his monarchy apart.

What are we doing?

You are capable of making my blood boil like no one else, and yet I feel a magnetic pull I cannot explain.

It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand

Like whether you should kiss me or punch me.

Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.

You make me feel things that shouldn’t exist. 

Whatever this is, we should stop. I have been. . .compromised.

There’s a fine line between love and hate, and maybe we crossed it a long time ago.

I never thought I could detest someone so much, until the day I realized I was falling in love with you.

We may fight like enemies, but deep down, we both know that our hearts beat for each other.

You infuriate me, challenge me, drive me crazy, but damn it, at the end of the day, I can’t resist you.

It’s that tension that makes this so irresistible.

You’re like an addiction I can’t break free from, even if I wanted to.

You’re the thorn in my side, the fire in my veins, and I can’t help but crave your presence in my life.

Loving you feels like a dangerous game.

You infuriate me, yet you’re the only one who truly understands me.

You scare me to my core.

There’s no denying the fire that burns between us.

If any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies.

I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other.

Tell me you don’t feel this between us. Look at me and don’t look away while saying it.

You claim me your enemy and yet, let me crawl into your bed every night.

You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires.

Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you.

I did not asked for this. To be plagued by these feelings.

I tried to deny it for so long, but I don’t want to anymore.

Follow me around. Look at me as if you find me fascinating. Touch me, and say nice things to me. And then, you pull away as if you did nothing at all.

There’s no need for these games.

Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.

You read me wrong.  I wasn't trying to lead you on.

Is that all I am to you? A resource to be used in your scheme?

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But I just- I can't do it tonight, okay?

 You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.

So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. That's logic.

It's like a little death. Several, in fact.

Oh Max, if you really hated Kyle you couldn't have slept with him.

So go on... kiss me... kill me... Do something.

I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up. 

Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.

Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.

It just means you'd rather be with someone you hate... than be with me.

She's difficult and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time.

We have a deal, what are you so afraid of?

Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this. 

You dragged me down and now I can’t quit you. 

This is the last time we do this.

Last night was also the last time. And yet, you keep coming back.

Better my mouth than my knife, right?

[adviceformefromme]

How to re-programme your subconscious mind…(tried and tested)

When the retreats don’t seem to have a lasting effect, you’ve done therapy, prayed, been to see healers, meditated… but for the life of you, stilllll have wounds so deep that they might appear to be resolved but the moment you meet someone who is wow you suddenly feel unworthy. Maybe not even suddenly, but your relationship wounds are running deep. Relationships trigger you. You end up feeling the same 90% of the time. Unlovable, unwanted, and rejected. The key to remember is that it started with you. With the mind, with your thinking. At whatever point in your childhood (or even later) you took on the belief that you're not worthy, your needs were not met. You took on behaviours that play out still to this day. Maybe it was hiding yourself, maybe it was lashing out? Whatever it is, the same way it started with you, with your thinking, with your processing of events. Is the same way you heal your self. Here are some steps: 

1] Forgiveness. Forgiveness is going to free you from your past. Write a list of all the people and situations that caused you pain from your earliest memory to this very day. Whatever pains are etched in your mind, write them down. Once your list is collated, start going through each scenario, sending love and forgiveness to yourself and whoever was involved. Imagine yourself as a loving carer healing the parts of you that were vulnerable, hurt and not safe. Visualise giving yourself love in each scenario. Creating peace. Once you’ve been through a scenario and feel truly at peace with the situation scribble it out and once you are completely done with the papers you can burn them and set yourself free. (this process can take weeks / months depending how long your list is but it's not to be rushed).

2] Whatever is still lingering, use your journal to clear this out. For example, if I asked you right now if the man of your dreams was to appear.. would you feel worthy? Right now as your are? It might not be a man, it might be a job, a salary. Whatever it is, start challenging your old beliefs. You might not feel pretty enough, you might not feel like you are deserving… whatever it is start questioning old ideas you have about yourself. Challenge them..

3] This is the most important step… Once you’ve done the above. You’ll start to see some themes, maybe in your forgiveness list you realised your voice didn’t matter as a child, and that you were silenced, and that you hid yourself as a way to feel safe…whatever you uncover. 

3.1 - You are going to write a script, in simple terms - something a child would understand and make sense of and you’re going to write out new beliefs to re-programme your mind. Example ‘I am willing to forgive those who hurt me, I am willing to forgive myself for the hurt I went through, I am no longer hiding myself from the world, I am choosing to be seen , to be celebrated, I am allowing my voice to be heard, my true voice, I matter’ - you want to cover all basis. Every old belief about not being enough, you need to re-write.

3.2 - Record yourself on your phone in a very slow peaceful loving tone reading your script. 

3.3 - You need to listen to this recording every single night for at least 1-4 weeks. (It’s usually 21 days, but I did a recording for 1 week on feeling safe and I felt truly healed as if it was a miracle). I was able to LOOP the recording using Mac...I sent the voice recording from my iPhone to my MacBook using airdrop and then opened the sound file in iTunes and pressed repeat. This allowed a short recording to loop all night as I slept. It’s really important to play this on a loop as you want to IMPRESS your subconscious mind with the new beliefs. It’s your own voice, its your own re-wiring. 

I hope this helps! The deeper healing work is crucial if you really want to remove those old wounds that seem to be stuck and not budging!

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hello again! I am that Anon that requested the Reader is a Smiling Critter and blah blah, I need more and thank you for making these, my heart is filled <3

This is gonna be quite detailed, feel free to change it!

Note: This might be a lil ooc or perhaps more of an AU?? Ah yes, Dogday's legs aren't gone, still attached just for the sake of the nature of the dynamics here.

The reader is a Smiling Critter once again, they had a dream about their old friends ( ex: Smiling Critters or maybe the other toys ). After they woke up in tears, soon they decided to go around the factory in hopes of finding the mini toy versions of their old friends, something to hopefully lessen the ache in their heart. Yeah, they also forgot to tell Catnap where they went and uh the living mini toys noticed their absence and reported it to Catnap 💀

Catnap ain't happy about it, he finishes up whatever he was doing and went on to find the Reader himself ( we're special jk- ). Later, he finally found them, whatever he felt at that time came to halt as he saw the Reader sitting down on the floor, in a pile of toy versions of their old friends, HIS old friends, their old friends, silently weeping to themselves. Without a second thought, he curled up around the reader, patting their head as if to silently reassure them it'll be okay, Catnap was actually genuine about it though the reader knew that it's not that simple ( with the whole prototype and how Catnap just listens to him 💀 ). But in their sadness and loneliness, they let their guard down and sink into the giant cat's affection, feeling nostalgic as they remember they always used to do this during naptime, with THEIR old friends.

After the reader fell into a deep sleep, Catnap decided to just stay where they were even with second thoughts in his mind, in this very moment, the old Catnap is back, not the one that follows the Prototype like a lost puppy. The Catnap his old friends know, the one Dogday knows, the one Reader knows. But he snapped back to his senses, deciding to rest his head on top of the Reader's in order to shutdown all those thoughts, purring while at it. This is ALL FOR THEM, FOR JUSTICE, TO END THE MADNESS, the Prototype promised him.

.....

Dogday is silent as he listens to his " former " friend talk about the events that occured a few hours ago. Catnap has decided to visit Dogday, free him from the belts to eat the food he brought. Dogday silently took the food and ate them as he listens Catnap's talk, understandably hesitant to butt in. It was more than weird, Catnap changed so suddenly and drastically, but recently he was softer, more like the old Catnap, albeit still threatening.

" Dogday... " That made the giant dog snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing his name, his eyes met with Catnap's. Before letting out a surprised yelp as the cat pounced on him, Dogday was terrified for his fate until he felt long arms curled around him. Catnap was hugging him tightly. Read that again. Hugging him. The so-called heretic. Dogday now knows what his friend ( Reader ) felt when Catnap helps them get back to sleep.

This is the Catnap they knew, the actions speak louder than words one, he wasn't truly gone after all.

Night Befallen

Note || I cast brain rot upon ye 🤲

WC || 1,384

Sypnosis || Maybe, just maybe knowing what one can know now—your old friend isn’t entirely stolen away from you.

You had found yourself immersed in a poignant dream, revisiting cherished memories of old friends. Awaking with tears lingering on your lashes, you felt an insistent pull to embark on a heartfelt quest. Determined to reconnect with the essence of your past, you resolve to venture into the depths of the factory, in search of the miniature toy replicas of your beloved originals. With each step forward, anticipation intertwined with nostalgia, guiding your path through the echoes of your cherished history.

You just wished things had truly stayed the same, why did it all happen before–this, Hour of Joy–whatever it had been. CatNap, the same cat you came to cherish and love had been completely twisted, viewing Prototype as a god?

It just made no sense to you, everything is madness.

For now, perhaps you could absolve in finding peace with your recreational little toys, shadows of former friends they may be of course. 

“Tch-” You snorted, trying to keep yourself from breaking down in the face of your tiny little friends that are piling up around you. Just like all the old times before, the times… before. All the tiny smiling critters were just plain adorable though, so that was advantageous. 

Beyond the shadows, some creeping figures watching you took notice of your absence. No, not in CatNap’s home, nothing goes one without CatNap knowing of anything. 

A small critter skittered away, you didn’t notice—you were far in too deep to properly take recognition of anything happening, only mourning your former friends. Who knew trying to take a look at the essences of your past, a past of once where you were happy, content. You were just doing your job as a fellow critter, you loved your job. You loved being a critter, you loved your friends.

“You guys are so cute..” You smile softly, hugging them close in spite of the few stray tears streaming down your face. Normally, you’d wipe them away, but right now you just wanted to stay in the moment. 

Stay with all your old friends, even if they weren’t your real ones. 

You could be allowed the peace of illusion, atleast.

To say he was furious was an understatement, what had the tiny critter meant by your absence? 

In CatNap’s eyes, this was unacceptable. 

One should remain where they are, they are not to derail from their paths. You shouldn’t be derailing from your path. No matter the reason, he will quickly finish his patrolling, and come straight to you to put you in your place. Mostly, being stern. 

Should he allow you that courtesy? Yes, CatNap should. You are his old friend, you were so kind as to work with the Prototype (even if you were completely against it), CatNap will be lenient with you. 

Suddenly CatNap had gotten lost in thought, and lifted his paw to see what he was doing. Oh yes, he was killing a human survivor for their incompetence – that is what was happening. He repeatedly shook his paw to get the remains of the human off his claws and paw as well, the blood remained on his fur unfortunately. CatNap can find some way to clean that off later.

As if he was sighing, CatNap’s mouth emitted a large breath of Poppy Gas, something of which he used sparsely; only when he wanted to block out people from areas he didn’t want them in. CatNap admittedly felt as if what he was doing here was wrong, but it was only in the name of the Prototype. 

CatNap finally went on his way once he cleared his head of these troubling thoughts, he was going to deal with you and he wouldn’t delay it any longer.

He always had eyes all around Playcare, did you really think you could get away with this so easily? Prototype is leader, god. He would not allow anyone to defile Prototype’s name, not even you.

No matter, he was going to make this quite clear.

It seemed the small smiling critters had felt his immense aura for bloodlust, causing them to skitter away from whence he came. CatNap without a shadow of a doubt, can be terrifying. 

CatNap simply paid no mind, and continued on making his way toward you. 

Even in all the rubble and dust, one clear distinction his keen ears could pick up was reminiscent of crying. To the normal ear, one would not be able to hear this. It was so silent, was it out of a fear that you were crying so silently?

No, it was because of the smiling critters, the smaller bodies. Merely replicas, but so well done for just being copies of the original critters. Shadows always danced in CatNap’s headspace, perhaps he could make it out the same within your case. He had always crossed his heart, locking it away in soul and key. CatNap deemed it all unnecessary. Yet, with you it was recurring.

Slowly enough, whatever emotions – whatever anger he had before was fading away. CatNap was overcome with a sense of sympathy, he wanted to comfort you, his friend. Now he just came to a complete halt, trying to figure out what was wise on what to do. 

CatNap felt pitiful, sounding low when he remembered those very screams. 

You have seen just as much as he did.

Hesitantly, he stepped forward, CatNap didn’t want to frighten you out of your stupor. His long elongated tail wrapped around your being, calmly re-adjusting you with a steady stance. CatNap laid down, folding his back legs and crossing his front ones. He so suddenly cuddled up against you, patting your head to reassure you silently. 

You nodded your head, snapping to the attention of CatNap’s presence. You knew otherwise that he wasn’t being as genuine, in spite of it being real in his eyes. 

Otherwise, you didn’t feel as on guard. You weren’t stressed or protesting in any case, you felt as if you were falling asleep. You began to fall asleep, CatNap sensed this, curling up against you to feel more comfortable. 

That was in your sadness and loneliness, had sleep finally claimed you – purely out of nostalgia that you had used to do this during naptime, with your old friends. 

Abornormally enough, he didn’t feel so angry. CatNap felt more as if he was at peace with you, even with these thoughts. How the Prototype had promised him justice, to end all the madness, just for you… for all of them. 

In a moment soon enough, CatNap had promptly followed you into sleep. 

If death was a choice, then he rejects it.

Silent and contemplative, DogDay listened as his "former friend" recounted the recent events, memories of comforting you when tears flowed and offering solace in the embrace of sleep. CatNap's unexpected visit and the subsequent act of liberation from his restraints were met with wary acceptance as DogDay consumed the offered sustenance, his attention captured by CatNap's unusual demeanor.

It was a peculiar sight, witnessing CatNap revert to a semblance of his former self amidst the oppressive atmosphere of their surroundings. Despite the underlying threat that lingered in CatNap's presence, there was a glimmer of familiarity in his actions, stirring a sense of unease within DogDay's battered psyche.

“This isn’t his usual behavior,” or “He’s just now had a revelation?” 

Lost in his thoughts, DogDay was abruptly pulled back to reality by the mention of his name, a sharp reminder of the precariousness of his situation. Anticipation coiled within him as CatNap lunged forward, bracing for the inevitable retribution that awaited him. Yet, to his astonishment, instead of aggression, he was enveloped in an unexpected embrace.

Stunned and bewildered, DogDay felt the weight of CatNap's arms around him, a gesture of affection that defied all expectations. In that fleeting moment of connection, DogDay experienced a revelation, a glimpse into the profound bond shared between you and CatNap, a bond forged amidst the chaos and strife of your shared existence.

As the echoes of their encounter lingered in the air, DogDay found himself grappling with newfound understanding. The warmth of CatNap's embrace, though fleeting, offered a glimpse of redemption amidst the shadows of his past transgressions. And in that moment, DogDay realized the profound impact of companionship, transcending the boundaries of fear and prejudice.

[snowsinterlude]

omggg your fics deserves so much more attention they are so good , I love how you write coriolanus. what do you think about corio with a size kink, a girl thats so much shorter than him and on the more skinnier side giving him an ego boost because of how he could move her the way he wants ahh

omg i love this questiooonn!!!!!!! love them size kink girlies. truly. a kiss on your cheek for asking me that. love you!! i hope you like it!!

c.w: rough sex, size kink, dirty talk, tummy bulge, dumbification, praising, degrading and aftercare.

first of all, we need to understand that coryo is 6'0ft tall. which means, he's not gigantic, but near you?? man he looks like a building.

at first he was afraid to hurt you during intimacy, but seeing you squirm down his body as he hold both your arms and watches the small bulge on your stomach as he fucks you seems to flinch something inside him.

he turned out to be so rough. not as if you're complaining, though. you loved him. and you loved to see him being so eager to have his cock hitting your uterus and filling you with his size.

you gave him all the consent to be rough to you, but he always told you to feel free to stop him if he's hurting you in any way.

you loved him so much!! his cock fucking you dumb, making your thoughts a bunch of smeared numb images as he fucked you.

and he loved you even more, the way you boosted his ego through your words was terribly flattering for him.

"too big, too big!!" was the main thing you'd be squealing when he finally thrusted hard and deep inside you, his eyes focusing on your face and your body, so pretty, so small. he loves making a mess out of you. "coryo, please!!"

your words woke him up, his thrusts becoming steady and slow.

"what is it? is it hurting you, princess?" he asked, kissing your temple.

"n-no, please, keep going! i-i'm almost there!" you said, crying as he fucked every thought of your pretty head. "you're so big, please! it's s-so deep, so good, ah!"

and your words would always make him chuckle, his thumb softly rubbing your clit as he tortured you and get you over the edge. you could cum all he wanted, and he wouldn’t deny how much his ego seemed to be massaged by the thought of being so good that he could make you cum multiple times. he would fuck you in every human possible position, and his favorite would still be missionary, cause everytime your eyes looked into his you would be blurting out a bunch of "fuck, i love you! coryo, pleease! i love you, too much!" and he loved you too, don't worry.

"god, you're such a slut." he said, groaning as he frowned at the sight of your hand resting on the bulge on your stomach, he felt so good. too good. too deep. too fucking good. and you would always let him know that. "who'd know such a pretty girl could make the dirtiest sounds?"

being called a pretty girl, a dirty whore, a dirty princess, a beautiful slut, always seemed to get a raise out of you, and you, of course, would cry on his cock, crying until he came and pulled out of you.

aftercare would be the sweetest time ever, he would help you bathe cause you would always be too fucked to have a quick bath, there was a time he found you sleeping on the bathtub, and even if he found it cute, he didn’t want you to be sick afterwards, so he started bathing with you, washing your hair and cuddling with you as you slept peacefully on his chest.

[d-targaryenshoe]

Sweetest Affaire - Anthony Bridgerton

Word count: 1132

Summary: Two lovers are not precisely acceptable when one is wed, would you not agree?

You were certain that you had been the luckiest woman alive when you had married Anthony Bridgerton. 

His smile could light up a room, and his eyes seemed to hold a thousand secrets.

 He was charming and witty, and even after all these years, you still felt a flutter in your stomach whenever he touched you.

 But there was a part of you that ached, a part that felt unfulfilled. You knew that he was still seeing Sienna.

Your marriage had been a love match, of that you were certain, but Anthony seemed to think that he could have his way do so too.

 He believed that he could love you and Sienna at the same time and that you would both be content with your arrangement.

 You, however, weren't not so sure. You knew in your heart that you couldn't compete with the other women, not when Sienna was everything that you weren't.

Your bed had grown cold over the years, your passionate nights a distant memory. 

Anthony spent more time with Sienna than he did with you, and it hurt.

 It hurt deep in your soul to see the way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

 It was as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else that he truly loved you.

You tried to be understanding, to accept the situation for what it was, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. 

You loved Anthony with all your heart, but you couldn't help but feel like you were nothing more than his suitable wife. 

The thought of losing him to Sienna, of watching him walk down the aisle with another woman, was enough to make you want to scream. 

You knew that you needed to do something, but you didn't know what. 

All you could do was pray that fate would intervene, that something would change and that Anthony would finally see you for who you truly were.

The only woman he had ever loved and the only woman he would ever need.

Meanwhile, Anthony continued to lead a double life. He loved you both but in different ways.

Sienna was his passion, his fire. 

She made him feel alive, made him feel like he could conquer the world. With her, he felt free and uninhibited.

 You, on the other hand, were his comfort, his anchor. You were the woman he could rely on, the woman he could come home to. 

You were the mother of his children, the woman who knew him better than anyone else.

 He tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing, that he could make you both happy, but deep down, he knew that he was lying to himself. 

He was in denial, refusing to accept the truth of his feelings.

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. The tension between you both grew thicker with each passing moment.

 You tried your best to ignore the signs, to pretend that everything was fine, but you could feel Anthony pulling away from you.

 You knew that he was preparing himself for a future without you, and it hurt you more than anything else ever had.

 You wanted to confront him, to demand the truth, but you were afraid of what might happen if you did. You were afraid of losing him completely.

One night, as you both argued about some trivial matter in your bedroom, Anthony said something so cruel, so hurtful that it cut you to the core.

 He accused you of being selfish, of only caring about yourself, of not understanding the depth of his love for Sienna. 

The words stung like a slap across the face, and for the first time in your marriage, you felt truly defeated. 

You looked up at Anthony, tears streaming down your cheeks, and you knew that this was the end. 

You couldn't take anymore.

With strength you didn't know you possessed, you pushed past him and walked out of the room. 

You didn't stop until you reached the safety of your own chamber. There, you collapsed onto the bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

 It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders as if you had finally found the courage to face the truth. 

You knew that you couldn't go on living this way, pretending that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. 

You needed to do something, anything, to make Anthony see the error of his ways.

You had been ignoring him for months.

Anthony began to rummage through your memories, desperate to understand where it all went wrong. 

He recalled the countless missed dinners and moments, the times he had chosen business over quiet nights in front of the fireplace. 

He realized he had ignored the very foundation of love and companionship you had built.

Determined to make amends for his shortcomings, Anthony concocted a plan, ever since he left Sienna.

 He decided to gather you and Eloise, who held an opinion highly valued by both of you, for a heartfelt conversation. 

Anthony wanted to beg for forgiveness, to show you how sorry he truly was.

Eloise, a woman of immense grace and wisdom, agreed to mediate your meeting.

 She understood the depth of Anthony's guilt when it came to Sienna, but she also harbored resentment towards her brother. 

She saw how you had suffered silently, and the anger welled up within her, making it difficult to suppress.

You were gathered in the sitting room, a pot of steaming tea placed between them. 

Anthony's palms were clammy with nervousness as his eyes met yours for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"I cannot begin to express how sorry I am, y/n," Anthony pleaded, his voice laced with genuine remorse. 

"I see now how I have neglected you, and I swear to make things right, forgive me."

Your eyes brimming with unshed tears, regarded him with a mix of sadness and apprehension.

 You had built walls around your heart, walls that had shielded you from the pain of feeling unloved. 

But Anthony's request broke through those barriers, stirring up a mix of hope and trepidation within you.

Eloise, unable to hide her anger towards her brother, interjected sharply.

"Anthony, by all gods, you have caused Mother and Y/n an immense heartache. Your words alone are not enough. You must prove your love through actions, day in and day out. Only then will forgiveness be earned."

Anthony, aware of his sister's anger and knowing she had a point, nodded earnestly. 

"You're right, El. I have taken y/n's love for granted for far too long. I am willing to do whatever it takes to regain her trust and rebuild the love we once had."

[shorthaltsjester]

i’m scrambling through the transcripts from eps 104 & 106 of campaign 1 because i’m writing something and god this quote from ioun when she’s speaking with vox machina is rotting me from the inside out:

“We the creators did breath beauty into this world, we planted the seeds that would blossom into this incredible weave of Exandria. However, what is the purpose of the parent but to teach what they can then set their children free? Some gods rule through fear, others through love, and others still through perceived fate. Destiny has its place, but the real deception if that you have no choice. A path can be groomed before you, but it is you who must take those steps. Not every rosy walkway leads to a better day. For me, our greatest purpose has passed the moment we granted your forebearers the spark to seek their own purpose. We now stay to inspire, to guide, to guard the Gate, to keep the hate of ignorance we spawned in our hubris from burning away everything. The rest is up to you. We need you, perhaps, but you do not need us. That is our gift.”

It’s delicious for a lot of reasons but namely in that it situates the gods once again as sentient beings who did not choose to come here but have found and maintain purpose in their continued presence - and that purpose is not to control mortals but to support them, something like aging parents who in some ways need to be looked after and can provide guidance and inspiration and limited protection but who need that to be returned. given the current state of affairs in campaign 3 even pre-downfall insights, ioun’s emphasis that one of their purposes is to keep ignorance (born from the god’s own hubris) from burning away everything. i mean even the fact that the god of knowledge admits that the gods are even capable of hubris — and i say this not because i think the gods would assume themselves to be above hubris but because i’m uncertain how much it can be called hubris for literal gods to view themselves with immense amounts of self importance — reveals the degree to which (to me at least) the gods are just beings who have immense amounts of power they did not directly ask for but were given when thrust into a new context. like brennan spoke of in the cooldown for 3x99, the power wasn’t power until given a material context and it is completely fair for mortals to be fearful or hateful of that which causes them harm as much as it is understandable for the gods to have a bitter disposition that something beyond their control and in fact a symptom of their care for their family is something that paints them as evil and cruel. it reminds me of ruidusborn in many ways — who have a stifling reputation so strong that people avoid giving birth during flares and look down upon even children born under the red moon but that reputation is contextualized by the fact that ruidusborn are and have been incredibly dangerous until it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

i am such a fan of critical role just for Good Story reasons but the historian in me has such deep respect for the lore keeping and weaving of different ideas into the fictional cultures and dispositions of the world that fit together like puzzle pieces and makes exandria feel not just lived in but truly as if the world has been minutely changed by every moment that we the audience have witnessed and will someday come to witness.

[reidsworld]

Beautiful Tragedy | Part 2

Summary: Following your husband’s death, you are reunited with Logan after years apart.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.9k

Mars speaks… short but sweet. or is it?

Part 1 | Masterlist

Years had passed since Logan last saw you. The world had changed, and so had your lives, but the memory of you never left him. The way your smile could light up even his darkest moments, and how your laughter was the sweetest melody—these memories had kept him going. The knowledge that you were married to someone else had been a bitter pill to swallow, but he had respected your choices, even as it broke his heart.

When news of your husband's death reached Logan, it stirred something deep within him. Without a second thought, he decided to seek you out. He had promised you once that he would be waiting, and now it was time to fulfill that promise.

The funeral was a somber affair, attended by a select few from high society. Logan kept his distance, observing from the periphery, his heart aching at the sight of you in mourning. Despite the sadness surrounding you, he could see the subtle signs of relief. You had been trapped in that marriage, and though the circumstances were tragic, he was glad you were finally free.

Finding you afterward took time, but Logan’s determination did not waver. He knew he needed to be patient, not wanting to intrude on your grief. When he finally located you, it was a quiet evening in a small, elegant garden, the setting sun casting a golden hue over the manicured lawns where you sat alone on a bench.

You were lost in thought, barely noticing his approach until you lifted your gaze. Logan stood at a distance, framed by the soft glow of the twilight. He had not changed much—still rugged, with that same unmistakable intensity in his eyes. But his gaze was softer now, filled with the kind of tenderness that spoke of years spent waiting.

"I told you I would be waiting for you," Logan’s voice was low and resonant, carrying the weight of unspoken promises and enduring affection.

Your heart skipped a beat, and tears of relief and joy filled your eyes. You rose from the bench, each step toward him a release from years of repression. When you finally reached him, you stood close, your breaths mingling with the chill of the evening air.

"I know, but I wasn’t sure if you would come," you whispered, your voice catching as you struggled to hold back your emotions.

Logan reached out, gently cupping your face with his hands. His touch was warm and familiar, grounding you in this moment of reunion. "Of course I came. I have never stopped thinking about you."

The dam of your emotions broke, and you allowed yourself to lean into his touch, a soft sob escaping as you did.

“I learned to love him," you admitted.

He embraced you, holding you tightly as if to make up for all the lost years. The weight of the past melted away as you clung to him, finding solace in his strong arms. "I know. You did what you had to do.”

Pulling back slightly, you searched his face, needing to see the certainty in his eyes. His love was evident, unwavering, and it reassured you in a way nothing else could. "But I never truly loved him, not as I love you."

Logan’s gaze softened further, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I know."

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you rested your head on his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting rhythm. You had spent years hiding your true feelings, but now, with Logan, you felt safe to be entirely yourself.

The days that followed were a serene blur of shared moments and unspoken understanding. Logan remained by your side, helping you settle into a charming house on the outskirts of London, far from the bustling city. The residence was modest but filled with warmth, surrounded by trees and quietude.

Mornings were spent together on the porch, savouring the rising sun with cups of tea. Conversations flowed easily, though often the silence was just as comforting. Logan’s presence was a balm, his protective nature ever evident as he ensured your well-being. With him, you felt shielded from the world’s harsher edges.

Weeks turned into months, and you found joy in the simple routines you shared. Laughter and smiles became frequent companions, and a lightness replaced the shadows of your past. For the first time in many years, happiness felt within reach.

One evening, as you lay beside Logan in the gentle glow of your bedroom, you whispered, "I never thought I’d get another chance at this."

He brushed a stray lock of hair from your face and smiled. "Neither did I. But I won’t let you go again."

Leaning in, you kissed him slowly, conveying everything words couldn’t capture. When you finally drew back, you rested your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"I love you, Logan," you murmured, a profound peace settling over you.

"I love you too, darlin’," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "More than you can ever know."

In that tranquil moment, with the world outside fading into the background, you knew you had found your place. Logan was your past, your present, and your future. Together, you were ready to embrace whatever life had in store.

And in the back of Logan’s mind, he knew he would outlive you and your time together would eventually come to an end. But he also knew that he would never stop loving you, and when his time came, you would be waiting for him.

Mars speaks… (again) thank you for reading, any and all feedback is always appreciated🫶

Tags… @shinyshayminflower @ferakillia @aheadfullofsteverogers @yoursrosie @annagraceevanss

[pearlprincess02]

cancer sun 8H, taurus moon 6H, sagittarius rising, cancer mercury 8H, leo venus 9H, virgo mars 10H

cancer sun: you express your ego through your emotions and feelings and for that reason feeling safe is one of the most important aspects of your life. you feel constantly overwhelmed by the threats of the world and the negative experiences of your past, using that as a justification to be suspicious of others. your higher self will allow you to feel vulnerable, taking down the barriers that you have created to withdraw yourself from others. a total trust will give you the strength that is required to overcome any obstacle and feel safe by accepting that there is a superior intelligence that controls everything and everyone in life.

sun in 8th house: can attract a chaotic life that pushes you into achieving transformations because that's how you grow and evolve, through the process of death and rebirth. you can't deal with superficiality and you crave deep connections with people, intimacy and to evolve with the person you love. creative. you may feel like the universe sends you messages so that you'll reach an awareness of some kind. you love experiencing new things and especially with yourself, you constantly look forward to changing your appearance and your spiritual or emotional views on the world. you feel a need for self-improvement. very secretive, you value privacy more than anything and you don't allow almost anyone to figure you out. you might be terrified of not finding people who want to connect with you as deeply as you want with them. tendency to isolate yourself emotionally, as in you might open up to others about superficial matters but when it comes to emotions, you're terrified of showing that part of yourself. you want to help others through their darkest times. 

taurus moon: their inner child might be somewhat subdued or they don’t express this part of themselves often. might be private when it comes to their emotions. they might mull over their emotions for a while, and they probably are really shaken by change. needs stability, routine, and dependability to feel safe and secure. very committed to whatever they set their sights on. they probably know what they need to feel safe since this is a fixed earth sign - this will probably not change often. they’re a good person to go to for advice. they have a calming, down to earth energy about them. very trustworthy.

moon in 6th house: routines and work give them comfort. this can be a workaholic placement. they need their career to be meaningful and to help others in some way. they want their home environment to be clean and clutter-free, or they have things arranged in a specific way. could base their worth on how useful they are to others in low states. their emotional state can affect their health easily and they can be very physically sensitive to their mood changes. could be very in-tune with their senses. mix of mental and emotional strength.

sagittarius rising: the planetary ruler of sagittarius being jupiter shows that you would sometimes be deemed as a lucky person, even if you might not feel lucky, to people who do not know you, they might think the world works truly for you. you being someone who is able to get whatever you want, this can attract jealousy from other people. with jupiter being the ruling planet of your first house, you are someone who might have something big about you? could be a body party or a personality trait.

cancer mercury: a cancer mercury indicates a very compassionate and intuitive approach to communication. your thoughts and ideas are deeply connected to your deep feelings and emotions, and you may use your communication to nurture and support others. you may have a deep empathy for others' feelings and a tendency to want to help others. you may be drawn to expressing your thoughts and ideas through poetic, sentimental, and creative language. you may be very understanding of others' pain and frustrations, and you may feel comfortable offering support to others.

mercury in 8th house: people with this placement are super intuitive, they are also good researchers! they transform through knowledge, communication, and through how they communicate with themselves. they also may inherit some money from their siblings, surprisingly. they can solve complex riddles, matters and basically anything complex. depending on the mercury sign, they have the ability to make money through investing. they can be very secretive when it comes to discussing things about themselves, thats why a lot of their relationships aren't "real” and they feel like the bond isn’t so strong. they may also like learning about the occult, spirituality and such. they are good at piecing together information, and communicating it with other people. they would do well as archaeologist, detectives, etc because they do really good with analyzing data! these individuals can be very suspicious of new things, and may like old things, (like history, etc!) these people will most likely feel comfortable talking about the occult, death, sex, and their possessions. i’ve noticed that a lot of people with this placement see things differently then other people usually would, but on the other side, they can be judgmental or impulsive. they will literally say what they want to say, and don’t care if your feelings get hurt. they know how to read people like a book, and figure out their reasons for doing certain things. they have very obsessive and destructive thoughts at times, that are harmful. they’ll try to lure you out of your lies & have a perfect strategy for doing so. their minds are filled with mystique and mystery, always wanting more.

leo venus: strength and beauty of a goddess, instant connections and passion, object of adoration or desire, demands your attention, worship and heart, romance in their veins, she is the sun - center of your universe.

venus in 9th house: venus in the ninth house suggests a focus on expanding knowledge and broadening the mind. the individual with this placement may have an innate curiosity about the world and a desire to explore different cultures, traditions, and ideas. they may have a fascination with the mystical and the spiritual, and with exploring new concepts, experiences, and perspectives. additionally, this placement suggests a desire to seek the truths of the universe and an appreciation for higher education.

virgo mars: mars in virgo are passionate about helping others and being the best version of themselves. this mars sign is notoriously known for being able to try something once and being exceptionally good at it the first go. i hate to say it (only because I know it comes from a place of pain) but these natives are passionate about perfection. this can cause them a lot of anxiety if they are careful. although, they are good at many things, it is advised that they lean into whatever makes them happy, serve their part in making the world a better place!

mars in 10th house: mars in 10th are passionate about being successful, being their own boss, their reputation and getting external recognition. they will put a lot of energy into their career and be very passionate about whatever they are doing. they will be a trail blazer and their career because they do it the right way the first time. extremely hard workers- just be weary of burn out mars in 10th folks!

@cloudyluminousstarz

ᵒᵇˢᵉʳᵛᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵃʳᵉⁿ'ᵗ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ