#there's some i love but most of them are from this year ngl haha

[wikiangela]

wintery fics

I posted one of these today already for fif, but I got tagged by @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @jesuisici33 to share my christmas/wintery fics so why not lol (there's only three, I can never get around to finishing anything before the christmas mood wears off haha)

For a holiday (and forevermore) (95k, 30 chapters - completed, M)

Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more...

it's not technically just Christmas, but there are 6 Christmas chapters, 2 New year's chapters, and lots of holidays and family gatherings in between haha - fluffy fake dating and lots of family feels

You're my greatest gift (2.6k, G)

Cookie dough, flour fight, and a long-time-coming kiss. Or, the Buckley-Diaz boys make Christmas cookies.

ngl I don't even remember this one but apparently it's from last year? lol idk probably lots of fluff haha

and the last one is sambucky from two years ago and I'm scared to open it and see how bad it is lmao

Merry Christmas (I love you) (2.6k)

Matching pjs, hot chocolate, and a Christmas movie marathon with the Wilsons - what more could Bucky want for Christmas?

no pressure tags: @daffi-990 @giddyupbuck @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1

[burningcheese-merchant]

Would it be okay to have a small story request I've found? It's based on a small comic of Burning Spice and Golden Cheese that Burning Spice got a cold and his little birdy laughed at him that, him, the Beast Of Destruction caught a cold, but that backfired when Burning Spice kissed her with his sickness. In the end the two end up getting sick.

Golden Cheese: Are you feeling better now?

Burning Spice: Yes

I know what you're talking about! That little comic by wabeceucho on Twitter, right? I love them, they make premium BurningCheese content. I'd be happy to whip up a short for you, wouldn't be the first time I got inspired by that artist ngl lol

"Contagious" - BurningCheese Short #8

Spice gets sick. Golden laughs. Golden pays the price for laughing.

Jumping ahead into the far future where Burning Spice is Fixed™️ and he and Golden are happy together haha

The last thing Burning Spice ever wanted to be reminded of when he looked at Golden Cheese was Shadow Milk. He cared for that man, he was happy to call him friend, their bond may have grown strained in those years they spent as villains, both imprisoned and not, but it never broke - but good Witches, could he be damn near impossible to tolerate at times. The teasing grin always bubbling at his mouth's surface; the smirk always tugging at the corners of his lips. The witty remarks at EVERY situation, regardless of severity. And most of all - worst of all - his love of saying "I told you so". Shadow Milk never allowed himself to miss an opportunity to have that sort of laugh at another's expense, be they friend or foe. Burning Spice found it funny when it was "foe", not so much when it was "friend". Least of all when it was him.

He had hoped that he would never have to endure Shadow Milk's derision, or anything like it, from anyone else besides him again; one clown's jokes were more than enough. But it would seem as though the clown's laughter had become contagious.

...Sure, he and Golden Cheese always bickered and bantered, as they were wont to do since the beginning. It was normal. He quite enjoyed it. But not now. Not when the trembling of her shoulders, and that hysterical smile on her face, and that slender finger pointed at him reminded him too much of that ridiculous blue clown friend of his, and made him wonder if a puppet show mocking his hubris would be held in his honor soon.

...Maybe he deserved it.

"I-I'm sorry," Golden Cheese laughed. "But I simply have to laugh, my darling! The Beast of Destruction, catching a common cold! The sight of it! Hahaha!"

Burning Spice crossed his arms and sniffled huffed. "Yeah, I get it. The first round of your high-pitched giggling told me as much."

"And all the other ones will keep reminding you, I'm sure," she said, shaking her head in amusement. "Honestly, you begged for this. What were you thinking, skulking around the Dark Cacao Kingdom without a coat? I told you it would be freezing!"

"And I told you that only weaklings need protection from the elements," he snapped. "I've traveled to every corner of this earth and never been worse for wear. You think a little bit of snow would do anything to me?"

"I do and I did, and I was right," she said. "It's why I kept telling you to bundle up before we went to visit my old friend. Cacao even offered you one of his robes when we first arrived there, as he's not so far from you in size and no one knows that place's bitter cold better than he does. But you chose to be proud and look where that got you."

"Hmph!" He scowled at her. "I know my own limits. I was fine the entire time we were there. Only now did this... this stupid cold catch up to me."

She started to laugh again. "Perhaps it's better this way," she told him, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "Better here at home than back there, where more people besides myself can witness how stupid you are."

He harrumphed again and stood there, pouting at her and stifling a cough as she laughed at him some more - until his expression suddenly changed from irritated to... mischievous.

"Tell me, then, little bird," he said, "Haven't you ever gotten sick before? Or is Her Radiance too good for a cough and a fever?"

"Me? Once or twice in my youth," she said nonchalantly. "Why do you ask? Are you expecting me to tell you my own tale of pride and woe so you can feel less alone in your foolishness?"

No answer. Just a conniving smile slowly stretching across Burning Spice's face.

"What?" For just a moment, her confidence faltered, and was replaced by confusion. "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Still nothing. Just a low chuckle.

"Alright, fine." She buckled under the weight of his gaze and that smile a bit further. "Perhaps I, too, was foolish like you were. Perhaps I thought myself invincible, only to have to lay by a fireplace for days while my friends nursed me back to health. Perhaps I even had someone wagging their finger at me, too. There, is that better? Does that bandage the gaping hole in your ego somewhat?"

He first answered her by taking a menacing step towards her, then he chuckled again and said:

"You thought yourself invincible, huh? You're speaking as if you no longer do."

Now it was her turn to huff and puff. "Well... I AM the Golden Sovereign, am I not? After everything I've accomplished and endured, I think I have the right to believe that about myself."

"Do you?" The smile grew bigger. "You just admitted that you were the same sort of fool I was once. Even golden sovereigns can fall sick." Now the smile was a face-splitting grin. "And it shall happen again."

"What-?"

He was upon her in a flash, before she could even fully register he was there (how could someone so big still be so fast?). Into his arms she went, trapped in a feverish embrace - and her eyes widened in shock when he quickly leaned down and pressed a big, wet kiss to her lips.

"What the-" Another kiss to silence her. "Stop-" Another one. "Burning Spice-" Deeper, more dramatic, a playful lick at her lips as a finishing touch. "What are you doing?!"

"Getting my revenge," he said. "This is what happens when you laugh at me."

"It isn't as if you don't deserve-" No, no more of that. Only more warm kisses - warmer than usual, thanks to the sickness - to put an end to her unwanted protests.

"You brute." Mwah. "You savage." Mwah. "You moron." Mwah. "I still told you so."

"I know," he said. He brought his lips down to her neck. "And now you must pay for it."

"It won't work," she grumbled. "I know what you're doing."

"We'll see."

"I take care of myself, unlike you." Even against her better judgment, she bent her head back to allow him further access. "I'll be fine."

"We'll see," he said again, before he started peppering her neck with those kisses she could never bring herself to say no to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yes, actually," Burning Spice said with a smile. "Better than I've felt in ages, even."

"Wonderful," she muttered. She pulled the blanket around her tighter, desperate to stifle the chills. "Then that means you don't need your medicine anymore. Hand it over to me so it doesn't go to waste."

"No." He turned onto his side to face her, gesturing for her to come closer. "I can give you a bit of warmth, though. It seems like you need it more."

She grumbled, but nevertheless shuffled over to him, snuggling into his chest and sighing softly as he wrapped his arms around her. As if on cue, the chills grew weaker.

"I still maintain that I told you so," she murmured.

"And I maintain the exact same thing," he said. "We're even."

"As long as no one knows of this, it's fine," she sighed. "I can already hear Smoked Cheese's taunts from here..."

"And I could hear Shadow Milk's when you were mocking me before," he said. "Like I said. We are even now."

"...Fair enough."

They lay in silence for a little while, his face nuzzled into her hair and her feeling and listening to the beat of his heart in his chest.

...Until he felt like talking again. "Hey. Little bird."

"Hm?"

"I just remembered something."

"Did you, now."

"I did." She felt his hands start to trail downwards, resting on her hips. "Sex can actually aid in recovery from an illness, did you know?"

"..."

"It boosts the immune system, I think... And the pleasure can act as a natural painkiller, too. But I'm not entirely sure it's true... Why don't we test it to be sure?"

"Take your medicine and go to sleep, Burning Spice."

-------------------------

Every time I came back to this draft to work on it, the "keep reading" divider was in a different place and I had to keep moving it back. It annoyed the shit out of me. There's Merchant's complaint for the day

[jamespottersmixtape]

rosekiller microfic: goldilocks 1,632 words

a bit of soft rosekiller!! this is inspired by @myrows rosekiller art which you can find here! it made me want to weep a little when I first saw it, so naturally I had to write something haha :) ngl this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and it's by no means perfect but enjoy!! <3

Barty has always cherished quiet nights at Hogwarts.

When the chatter in the halls finally dies down enough for his thoughts to come back to him and homework has been carelessly tossed aside to save for tomorrow.

There’s a sense of serenity to it all that Barty rarely finds elsewhere. A break that he craves most at the end of a particularly stressful day.

Sixth year courses have been—to put it lightly, beating his ass—no matter how well he does. Today, it had taken him ten tries to get the nonverbal spell to work in Transfiguration. Ten.

Usually Barty needs no more than six tries for complicated spells, less than that for complex potions. Disregarding that he still did it faster than over half the class, now he’s just fucking tired.

He groans and shoves his schoolbag off the bed, letting it hit the floor with a soft thud, then flops backwards dramatically onto his pillows. The dorm room is dim, save for a few small candles on his bedside table. Cloaked in various shadows that dance around the room from the flickering flame.

Barty closes his eyes, taking a spare second to just breathe. There’s the soft white noise of the shower running in the background—Evan is taking forever, as usual—and sometimes Barty imagines he can hear the push and pull of the black lake against their walls. Lack of windows be damned.

It isn’t long before the water shuts off, and Barty feels the smallest smile tug at the corners of his mouth. It’s just the two of them for now, Regulus off doing god knows what at this hour. So naturally, a lot of built up restraint is needed for Barty not to rip open the bathroom door. To go and take in the sight of a freshly showered Evan and gather him in his arms before he can be stopped.

He’s been in there for less than thirty minutes but fuck it, Barty misses him.

Grumbling, he goes to change into the first clothes he can find. Settling for some years old joggers and a loose tank top, the soft fabric already making him drowsy.

The bathroom door creaks open and his head snaps up, immediately catching Evan’s eye. Barty really can’t help it when his heart skips a beat.

Evan raises his eyebrows, chuckling when Barty takes no subtlety in checking him out. His hair is dry, most likely done by magic. A thin blue t-shirt hangs off his shorter frame and each step taken towards Barty casts golden shadows over his skin.

Looking like everything warm and comfortable; the smell of his shampoo in the air so familiar that it hurts.

Barty’s smirk is wicked when he tugs Evan by his shirt into a light kiss. He makes a startled noise but melts into Barty’s touch regardless, fingers cupping his chin. The kiss is short but effective in making Barty’s head go all fuzzy.

“What happened to hello?” Evan asks when they pull apart—though not very far—now standing chest to chest. Evan’s bare feet fit in between his socked ones.

 Barty makes sure to slather his words in extra charm, grinning. “Hello, gorgeous.” 

“Wow, smooth talker,” Evan deadpans.

“You know you love it, Goldilocks.”

Barty takes a blonde strand between two fingers, tugging lightly at the end and earning him a deep scowl.

“I told you that nickname is stupid.” Evan rolls his eyes but Barty catches the blush high on his cheekbones. A light dusting of pinks and reds that work to compliment his freckles. Barty pokes him on one cheek.

“And I told you I don’t care.”

“Brat.”

Barty hums noncommittally, threading their fingers together. Warmth settles in his chest from the steady weight of Evan’s hand.

He leads Evan past the emerald green curtains of his bed and down onto the soft mattress. It’s a routine they’ve created over the last few months, and every time Barty wraps the covers around them it becomes harder and harder to let Evan slip back into his own bed. Something about having him in his arms means a night free of restless tossing and turning.

They lie facing each other for a few minutes, minimal space between them and their heads resting on one pillow. Quiet voices and even quieter laughs, a sacred bubble that neither of them dare to pop.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Barty laughs, his voice barely above a whisper. “You told Cresswell what?”

Evan frowns, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “I told him…that if he feels the need to keep staring at you in class then maybe I should tape his fucking eyes open. You know, that way he wouldn’t miss it when I inevitably snog you right in front of him.”

“Evan!” Barty can’t help it, his laugh is loud when it bursts from his chest.

“Well, maybe I left out that last bit…”

It takes him a minute before his laughter dies down, the quiet settling back in. “You jealous?” Barty teases, raising an eyebrow.

Evan purses his lips. “No.”

Barty stares at him knowingly.

Silence.

Evan averts his eyes.

“Mhm sure, come here.”

He drags Evan in by his waist, the pair of them fumbling around until Evan’s head relaxes in the crook of Barty’s neck and his forearm rests over his chest. Their sides pressed together, Barty smiles—fully content now.

Wordlessly, Barty ghosts his hand over the warm skin, relishing in the way Evan shivers from the cold metal of the ring on his middle finger.

There’s silence for a few minutes. Evan’s hair brushes the side of his face and his warm breath fans across his chest, their hearts only slightly out of sync as they beat so close together.

It’s a lot for Barty to take in sometimes—the whole idea of them. Having someone so delicate, yet so utterly untouchable, be his. If anyone took the time to ask him, though, he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Barty knows Evan’s eyes are closed, can see the shadow of his eyelashes. He takes the opportunity to trace over his freckles; a messy constellation that follows the high points of his cheeks, crosses sporadically over the bridge of his nose.

Evan scrunches his face up, which should not be so endearing. “That tickles.”

Barty turns his head, placing the quickest of kisses atop of Evan’s forehead, debating whether or not he should just give in and lick the side of his face. Then ultimately deciding against it—Evan did just take a shower—he’ll be nice for once.

“I wasn’t jealous. I don’t get jealous,” Evan mumbles, his voice lulled and tired sounding.

“Of course not, Ev.” Barty resists rolling his eyes, Evan can’t see his face anyway. 

“Besides,” Barty continues, “If you were jealous, I don’t mind you threatening people for me…it’s kinda hot.”

Evan smacks him lightly across the chest, but snuggles deeper against his shoulder. Which definitely does not do a weird flippy thing to Barty’s stomach. Nope, not at all.

“Mm okay,” Evan yawns. Which, Barty can’t blame him. Exhaustion is slowly taking over his body the longer they lie here. At this point all he wants to do is blow out the candles and fall asleep. Keep Evan next to him the whole night.

“Hey Goldilocks.”

“Mhm…” Evan must be too tired to even rebuke the nickname.

“Reg is going to freak out if he finds you here in my bed.”

Evan huffs, not very different from a petulant child. He makes no move to get up or even open his eyes. “I don’t care.”

This time Barty can’t hold back his yawn. He shuts his eyes and allows his body to sink further into the bed. Further into Evan. “Maybe we can tell Potter how madly in love with him Reg is. Then they can finally leave us alone.”

“Payback,” Evan snorts.

They both fall asleep without really meaning to. Tangled limbs beneath the covers and hands that aren’t inclined to let go. As his mind quiets down, something in Barty feels settled. A puzzle piece slotting into place after searching and searching for the edge that matches. Evan tends to have that effect on him, he’s come to notice.

All is quiet for a while, the whole school in a coinciding state of slumber. A time when portraits snore softly and only ghosts roam the halls, the usual lively presence of magic at bay for now.

But not even thirty minutes later they’re awoken with a loud thud and a significantly darker room—Barty had blown the candles out after all—just in case.

“Lumos,” someone whispers.

Regulus stands at the end of Barty’s bed, hands on his hips and a look of annoyance on his face. His wand is now lit and shining far too bright for Barty’s liking.

“What the fuck, Reg?” he asks groggily. Evan groans beside him and tries to hide his face.

“Not my fault I tripped over your fucking books, Barty,” Regulus hisses. “And you guys are gross. You said no PDA in the dorm.”

Barty squints and gestures for him to lower his wand. Regulus does so slowly. “Yeah, well I’m a fucking liar. Let us sleep.”

It’s with a lot of grumbling and a sharp glare that Regulus turns and stalks to his side of the room. When he shuts himself in the bathroom Barty reaches for his own wand and spells his curtains closed.

He has Evan back in his arms in no time, steady and real and here. Absolutely not going anywhere, if Barty has a say in it. His fingers resume their path over his arm, tracing nonsensical shapes that neither can decipher. Before they both drift off again a thought pops into Barty’s head.

“We are definitely getting him back for this.”

[alovesongtheywrote]

hiii girlie!! it’s my birthday HAHA can i please get a nightmare academia part?? thank youuu 🫶

♥ Summary: SORRY I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY!! iirc, i got this like. right in the middle of finals season. i am so sorry :( to compensate, i have provided a holiday update!! In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, it's the holiday season and Reid pulls a lil prank.

♥ Warnings: holidays, Wham's Last Christmas

♥ A/N: this is really just a holiday blurb im ngl. happy holiday special ig!! (also. i didn't edit this. my bad lol)

♥ Word Count: 600

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

The winter seasons were always an interesting time to be a professor.  The campus was decorated with trees and lights.  Fliers advertised Hanukkah and Christmas gatherings.  The students were so stressed and burnt out that they moved through life with a weird sort of festive calm. 

This year, that festive calm had taken on a new feature- your students wouldn’t stop playing Wham’s Last Christmas.  

You had nothing against the song.  All things considered, you liked Wham.  You liked Last Christmas.  It just got a touch annoying when the song played on a constant loop through various shitty phone speakers.  All the time.  Every day.

You weren’t sure what caused it- what earthly force could convince a bunch of college kids to listen to that infernal song so frequently?  What could get them to set Last Christmas to their ringtones?  You were pretty sure most of them hadn’t used ringtones before December.  To put it bluntly- you were confused, tired, and suspicious.  You were also ready to scream.

So you did!

“Holy shit, if I have to hear that fucking song again, I might literally explode.”

Reid looked up at you as you burst into your shared office.  His eyes were wide, as if your pre-loaded rant about Wham’s Last Christmas had caught him off guard.  

If it had, that was honestly on him.  You were only about a week into December, and you had already complained about the thing seventy-six times and counting.  If Spencer didn’t remember that, then his special boy memory powers had clearly failed him.

“Well, you wouldn’t literally explode,” Reid corrected, clearly recovered from his shock, “That’s a common mistake.  You would actually-”

“Reid, stop it before I feed you to the ghost of George Michael.”

He held up his hands in surrender, though a smile played across his lips.  You glared at that little grin as vines of suspicion tangled with the fleshy meat of your brain.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

“Whatever do you mean, Doctor?”

“I mean,” you slammed your hands down on Reid’s desk, “Are you the reason I cannot escape that fucking song?”

He leaned back in his chair, weaving his long, slender fingers together like some fucking anime villain, “And how would I pull that off?”

“Easily.  You’re you, and it’s the perfect crime.  All it would take is the promise of extra credit, and your students would do anything.  You think I haven’t noticed that the student body suddenly loves playing Wham?  Out loud?  Without headphones?”

Spencer’s grin got bigger, “Wow.  I’m sorry that your students have been using technology in a distracting and upsetting manner.  I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

“Spencer Reid, I am going to kill you.  I’m gonna choke you out with Christmas lights.  Seriously.”

He leaned in, “Are you literally going to kill me?”

“Fuck you, Reid.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

You snorted out a laugh, “You wouldn’t survive me, pretty boy.  Now, have you seen the essays my cybercrime class wrote?  They were on my desk.”

“Here-” he said, reaching for one of the desk’s many drawers.  That ended the conversation as the topic drifted to your students and the general category of crime that involved techy-whecy bullshit.  

In the weeks that followed, the volume on Spencer’s prank was turned down.  The students played it less and less, and the campus generally hummed with other holiday themed music until the break hit.  The day after it did, a package arrived on your doorstep.

A lovely vinyl copy of Wham’s Last Christmas.  

You were gonna kill Spencer Reid.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @currentfications, @ilse235, @emagen, @foolishwaitersblog if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know :D

[suzukiblu]

May I ask how you got people interested in your works? You have so many people who love your writing (rightfully so bc you're awesome) and I just want to find some people who like my writing like you did

ik that I should be writing for myself and everything, and for the most part I am! I write bc I like writing and it makes me happy! But it's just so so discouraging to see my little silly posts that take me 5 minutes to make do fantastic, meanwhile the works that take me weeks of effort get like 3 notes yk?

How do you do it? Did you ever deal with something similar? Any words of wisdom for the struggling noobs?

(This is a genuine question, I'm not trying to be rude in any way shape or form and I'm very sorry if it came off like that) (Also sorry to bother you)

You’re good, I’m not bothered by questions and I don’t think you’re asking anything rude either! I especially don’t mind the “please explain this thing I don’t know much about to me” type of questions, there’s just some shit you can’t effectively google or things that just make more sense coming from someone with direct experience. 

First and foremost: the two cakes meme is law!! No one will ever complain about getting two cakes, no matter if you think someone else already did it better! 

Second and second-most: as a newbie, before you read any of my advice at all, remember that you're currently comparing yourself to someone who’s been writing fic for their entire writing experience and has also been in fandom on and off for pretty much all of that time on multiple sites and through at least a couple major migrations of fandom hubs, and that time has been about twenty-five years now. Like, it has very much been a long-term process, me learning how to find a receptive audience for my stuff. Also I am a grown-ass adult who is currently pushing forty and am pretty self-aware of who I am as a person due to a WHOLE lot of personal introspection and therapy and general life experience. Like, I know how I work at this point in my life, if nothing else.

The long-form answer of my personal fandom process will definitely require a cut at this point, though, haha. Like, this got kind of involved, ngl, but since you’re asking I figure it’s reasonable to go into detail.

So anyway, the “how to find your audience” answer is obviously gonna be different for everybody, but PERSONALLY, I've been in fandom for a long-ass time and just about always been pretty prolific and consistently communicative and available during the times I was around. I have a ton of different fandoms and fics in my history and have run into a lot of different people and written a lot of different things over the years, so I've cast a pretty wide net of options for people to find me through. I've got readers who've followed me through multiple fandoms and even deliberately gotten into new ones because of me just because they like how I write and know me well enough from my other writing to trust that I’ll be respectful of certain things (or at least put in a good-faith effort to be). Your kink is not my kink, but I’m not gonna hate on it; your thing is not my thing, but you have fun over there, you DO your thing!

Being prolific is super-helpful, of course, because that gets people in the habit of checking in on you regularly and keeps you fresh in their minds, but one of the most effective ways I’ve gotten people long-term interested in my work is by being very responsive to readers and very open about what I’m currently working on. Taking requests has helped, asking who wants to see more of what has helped, talking to people in general has helped, and definitely playing “yes, and?” with ideas I’ve been offered has helped. Also I had the benefit of LiveJournal being one of my main fandom hubs for a while, where I met a lot of people and got in the habit of talking to them in a way Tumblr does not necessarily intuitively facilitate, so that’s just a habit for me. 

I definitely still produce stuff that comparatively flops and get bummed about it, it’s just a thing I’ve gotten used to over the years and so I either kill my darlings and move on to the next thing or I decide “naw, I’m still into this idea, I’mma work on it more anyway”. That’s obviously much easier when at least a couple other people are also into said idea, but still, it’s a thing you just gotta decide for yourself either way. Like I’ve DEFINITELY had stuff I slaved over get just about totally ignored while things I only tossed up on a whim off the top of my head or just intended as jokes people adored and resonated with way more, which is part of why I do so many WIP memes where I’m drip-feeding bits and pieces of content more regularly. One of my recent fics didn’t get near as much of a reception or interest on AO3 as I’d hoped it would, but when I was writing it on Tumblr people DID get excited for and enjoy it during the process, so that helped soothe that particular indignity/frustration for me.

Also, I’ve gotten enough people invested in my writing at this point that it’s much easier for me than it is for some writers, because I can do things like ask “hey what do you guys like/want to see more of?” and I’ll pretty much always get an answer, simply because so many people are in the habit of regularly checking on my blog and talking to me now. Polls are very helpful that way too, because it’s a functionally anonymous way for shyer people or people who are just casually scrolling their dash to give you an idea of what they’re enjoying from you without having to disrupt their flow or psych themselves up or anything like that. Like, it’s low-pressure, you know? I have done a LOT of polls since I found out Tumblr has those now.

I also constantly encourage people to both talk to me about and also play with my interpretations and AUs as they so please, and I deliberately cultivate responsive relationships with as many readers as I can. I don’t always have the spoons to answer every ask, but I always try to answer the majority of them and try not to ignore questions. A significant chunk of people have told me that they read tropes and AUs from me that they hate from other writers because they just trust that I’ll write it in a way that they can enjoy. I will include certain things and a certain level of respect that they just would not be comfortable without, and if I don’t have those things in there or there’s a common trigger, I’ll at least have done my best to tag for it. And I listen to people who tell me when I’m fucking up and I either take reasonable accommodations or change my behavior where appropriate. I tag for common triggers, I don’t use terms I’ve been told are insults or slurs, I try not to associate negative connotations with physical characteristics or things people can’t change about themselves, and when I have a reflexive “squick” reaction, I try not to assume shit and try to examine my biases. Or I just back-button and move on, if it comes to it. I also do my best to assume the best of people until they prove that I should not be. I am very much going to de-escalate when and wherever I can. 

I generally consider myself a low-drama blog and a low-drama person to follow, and put in effort to be that as best I can, and at this point I think (or at least hope) people feel relatively confident that they can talk to me without having to worry about immediately getting their head bitten off, which seems to be an increasing fear/concern that some people have in fandom. Therefore, I get people talking to me pretty regularly, because I’ve gone to the effort to be as approachable as I know how to make myself.

Also, yeah: above all else, write what you wanna write! Write your weird and niche dreams! Trust me, somebody out there LOVES your weird and niche dreams and wants all the deets on ‘em. I get the most engagement and interest when I just write what I really wanna see and don’t particularly worry about how goddamn weird I think I’m being. People are actually gonna be EXCITED about how goddamn weird I think I’m being, because a lot of them want it too and they’re not finding it as easily as a lot of the more popular stuff. 

So like . . . hope at least some of that was helpful, feel free to ask follow-up questions if you have any, hah.

[obeymematches]

So I'm not sure if this one counts as a HC, but I was wondering what self-care tips you think the Obey Me! characters would have! Maybe it's a poor prompt so feel free to skip this one, haha. :'D Alternatively, maybe what they would do to cheer up an MC who had a bad day? As a general reminder you are incredibly awesome and your writing is amazing and I always love seeing when you've posted something new!! <3 If you want any character drawings lemme know!

hello bestie if you are reading this, don't stop🩷🩷🩷

it's been years (litetally 😅 you sent me this ask in 2021, sorry for not replying sooner 😅) but i been in the mood lately to write some more again :D ((i'm so rusty though))

i absolutely loved your idea + ngl i've been re-reading your message a lot, makes me feel so nostalgic 😅🩷 I hope life's been treating you well eversince <3 hit me up if you wanna catch up 😃

Okay so first I do the self-care stuff and later i'll do the other prompt 😁

Self-care routine / tips of The Boys!

Lucifer: • His way of self-care is listening to soft piano music in the evening, next to a fireplace. He is glad to invite you! • I feel like he also cares about what he eats, trying to keep it as healthy as can be. I feel like he loves to treat himself with some good quality fish? • Appearance-wise I think he doesn’t really care as much as he wishes he could, he keeps his hair and nails nice and clean but that’s like… very basic hygene stuff.

Mammon: • His self care routine includes ordering packages at 1.24AM. • Just the excitemenet of new stuff arriving soon puts him in a better mood! • He also cares about appearance as his side job is being a model. He is not afraid to use more expensive lotions, shampoo, etc. It has to be expensive but doesn't have to be quality if you get what I mean. • Him and Asmo brush their teeth most often (up to 2 times a day) • I’m 100% sure he would love the feeling of driving aimlessly at night with his favourite music on!

Leviathan: • I feel like he is the one who needs advice on this topic. • Yes he orders stuff sometimes but he is conscious about it, it was a well thought-out decision he made. Him deserving it wasn’t really the intention. • I think sometimes he takes a long bath, by long I mean about 2 hours, and that’s pretty much it for a month.

Satan: • He learned the most from Asmo; he is very well avare of how many lotions, masks, oils, creams there are and he tried a lot of them. • His favourite are hand creams, which he uses every day. • Sometimes he puts on a face mask with Asmo but to be fair it happens like 4 times a year so it doesn’t actually do much to him. • Otherwise I think he also enjoys a rocking chair on the porch, perhaps in the garden (not where all the bugs are though!) with an enjoyable book and some non-sparkling beverage.

Asmodeus: • His list is basically endless, so just a list of some he does every day / often: • Has to wash his hair 3 times a week, uses shampoo, balm, oil and is very strict about how to dry it. • Has a lotion specific to each part of his body, except his face because you can’t have enough variety of face-serums. • Takes long baths but careful! Too long is just as bad as too short!! • Likes to sunbathe in moderation on Dia’s beach • Having his daily beauty sleep no matter what • Goes shopping on the regular

Beelzebub: • Best bet is him making his comfort food and offering you some • Works out a lot of course, a heathy body is a must! • I feel like he is also into reading personal growth books? Like how to be a better person, how to be more in-touch with you emotions, how to heal from this and that • His place of self-care also includes your embarace. Pls just cuddle with him. That’s enough of selfcare itself.

Belphie: • Ah…about self-care… • Well I guess some extra sleep counts as such? • Loves to chill under the stars, very quiet and very peaceful place to be at. It really does calm his mind • Honsetly I think he is even worse than Leviathan • Please make him brush his teeth and comb his hair • Can change a lot if you influence him though!

Diavolo:

His tips are so extravagant you can't really try them alone...

Like ah! Just go on a cruise! Have a wellness weekend by yourself! Try some rare dishes!

Thank you bby i appreciate

He does take care of his skin and body and also his mental state through working out, quality lotions and self-help books, articles.

Barbatos:

Definitely bakes when feeling like he needs self-care right now!

He is more of a spa kind of guy, though obviosly he rarely gets the chance to enjoy such things.

Honestly he functions on the bare minimum, pls help him

Simeon:

Also well-read regarding self-conscious stuff so if you need advice on it please reach out to him! As a teacher he is going to be able to explain it easily.

Not much into appearance somehow?? Like yeeeah nail, hair, teeth always nice and neat but doesn't go the extra mile.

He'd be into coloring books to help him be in a relaxed kind of state! Though that is something only Luke knows about.

Solomon:

This man is a mess regarding self-care to be frank.

I mean he usually does as he wants, that's not the issue here. He just doesn't really treat himself as priority?

Okay he does care about the basics but sometimes he skips a day or two. He genuinely forgets to brush teeth for example.

More into the spiritual kind of self-care, mental state, personality, you get it.

[girl-named-matty]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tag @rypnami <33

How many works do you have on AO3? Seven currently! Idk how many more there will be but for now it's seven!

What's your total AO3 word count? 627,138!

What fandoms do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy but I'm more currently writing for a different fandom.

Top five fics by kudos? Passion || Sebastian Sallow is my most popular fic!

Do you respond to comments? Yes. I sometimes forget I have ao3 ngl but 99% of the time I respond to comments on wattpad if I can remember.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Usually I try to give happy endings to stories because I'm that kind of person. So towards the end I'll have something angsty but the very end will usually end on a better note. But In The Shadow of Her has a decently angsty towards the end because it follows along with the game and In The Shadow of Magic has is angstier towards the end for several reasons lol.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Honestly--outside of my full fics, my one shot "Moving in" probably has the happiest ending.

Do you get hate on fics? Perhaps??? I'm not really sure. I've gotten a few off-handed comments that make me go "???" and any hate comments have been very rare.

Do you write smut? Lol nope and I never will. I'm okay with writing stories without it.

Craziest crossover? Ummm I can't really remember ever writing a crossover but me and my bsf would joke about Sebastian and Ominis going to a Jackson Wang party so?? Does that count? 😂

Have you ever had a fic stolen? YES ACTUALLY LOL. It was ages ago and I was literally like 12 y'all HAHA. The fic wasn't even GOOD but it was on Wattpad and got reposted on NovelHD. It was crazy for me to find out ngl. I didn't really care, especially cuz the fic was garbage (in my opinion now) but yeah LOL.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I can recall.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Many times. Me and my old fandom buddies from a long time ago would do it.

All time favorite ship? AAAAAAA. I hate this question because I can never decide lol. I don't really have a favorite ship but I do have some I like. I'm not going to say any outside of the HL fandom but I will name a few from my friends. @rypnami's Jamie and Jack have had my heart for so long <3 @morelikeravenbore's Aurelie and Sebastian. Ugh I just love them sm <3 @catohphm's Danny x Adelaide is SUPER cute and I love it sm <3 @keri-mcberry Keri x Sebastian OHHH MY GOSH. Keri is literally my favorite artist and everything from her is just so cute and adorable and omg I love it. <3 @boxdstars Amara x Natty. Super adorable, super funny. Props out to Natty for dealing with Amara. Love them sm <33

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My old fanfics from old fandoms that have just been sitting on my computer for four years LOL.

What are your writing strengths? Fluff, usually. I'm good at Angst too. Romance eehhh kinda?? I've never been in a relationship so I don't really know how it works but I've written several relationships that I think were good.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I used to do this a lot actually. But I doubt 100% of it was correct. Now that I'm older, I definitely hesitate more with it. But I think it's super cool and I planned on doing it for my fics but my MC's first language is Irish (Gaeilge, Irish Gaelic whatever you wanna call it lol) and in the 1800's it was even harder than it is today SOOOO in order to avoid mess ups, I just used one-word expressions most of the time.

First fandom you wrote in? Oh gosh, I can't even remember. Maybe it was Merlin??? Spirit Animals?? I don't even remember cuz it was so long ago.

Favorite fic you've written? My favorite fic is probably not even and HL one LOL. But to keep it HL, all of my books have a special place in my heart and I really can't choose. Some of them have strengths over others and that much is clear but idk if I'd ever be able to choose.

No twentieth question - I LOVE YOU GUYS AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME YAP LOL <3

tagging: @plxnetn1ne, @endeavour12345, @superconductivebean and anyone else who wants to join in and talk abt their writing! <3

[spiritual-messages]

Their feelings for you :

Hello guys merry christmas 🎅 I wish you all a very bright future and a great year ahead bless!

Todays reading is all about your person's feelings for you .. So I want you all think take a few deep breaths think about your person and then pick a pile that attracts you the most bless here's my masterlist

The pictures aren't mine and are taken from pinterest 🤍 credit it the ownersss

Pile 1 ----- pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 1

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 1 welcome to your reading so the energy feels so warm and comforting here wowww so goood..so guys i heard " colleague " " guide " "soulmate" right after I connected... So lemme say that this person is your soulmate .. You have lived lives with them .. And this person is connected deeply with u .. And you both have influence over each other's lives and emotions .. Oohlalala

Their Feelings -

So this person feels like you are their soulmate .. Yes they are into spirituality and yess they know they have a connection with you that"s outta this material world ( lol I remembered the iconic MaTeRiAl GoWrL ) they feel like they are in perfect harmony .. And in perfect balance when they are with you.. This could also mean that you both guys are quite opposite but still feel balanced and listened when you are with each other .. This person feels veryyy comfortable sharing their emotions with you . they feel like they can trust you with everything (so precious ) they feel like you will always support them and give them honest opinions if they asked you about smth . ( they think u are very blunt that's what they find attractive they hate sugar coated ppl ) so guys this person and you might have an age gap possibly 2-5 years thats what im seeing and if they are the older one here .. They wanna protect you and guide you through out the life ... So they are actually not expressing their love for you right now .. Becz they think its not the right time ? (🤨 they tryin to get u outta your shell ? )

So this person has these oh so cheesy (jk jk lol) nahh they have romantic feelings for you tho they feel like you both can create your own little fairytale ( ngl u guys are cute haha dreamy and cute .. I see Pisces energyyy ) you guys could be from diffrent places mhm and met through work ( complicated i see.. Love at first sight for some ) guys this person loves you so much and they even planned their future with you ... they wanna travel with you haha could love museums this person is into art .. Like painting .. Damn... They are also veryyy romantic .. Might be into poetry wooho cool ...

Rn I see that they are trying to open you up like they wanna know how you feel about them .. Wanna discover your emotions till then they'll admire you from far ( aww poor guy/girl ) they want you to be fully comfortable with them before they confess their feelings haha ..

Possible zodiac - Pisces ,cancer and scorpio ( coming strong .. Water signs are everywhere haha bless ) taurus and virgo and a little bit of leo ( hey fellowsss )

Thats all for today .. Hope it resonated

Bless take care of yourself I wish you everything besttt

merry christmas

Pile 2

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 2 ... So guys ... For some of you .. This person is from past .. Could be your first love ( this is only for a few of you if you dont want you past come back its okay remember you create your own reality so let this info slide as its general reading alright Bless!) Or I see you spent past lives with this person.. So, This person could be your first love .. ( or you are this person's first love haha ) I see you guys met online ( are u asking about an ex ? This is your reading then)

Feelings :

So guys these person has soooo much romantic feelings for you .. They feel like some teenager around you like they get so shy around you *nervous laugh* lol ( now it makes sense tho .. Now i can finally understand why first love was coming so strong ) you have an effect on them .. They get goosebumps when they maintain eyeconatct with you and butterflies in the stomach if you ever stand close by ... Guys this person has separation anxiety ( awww idk for some reason im like " awww " I just can't help tho they are too cute ) so they hate having arguments with you they hate seeing you angry .. Like they feel that their whole world burnt down into ashes right infront of their eyes when u guys fight .. Guys this person wants to have a family with you. . like they wanna have children with you.. They want you as their wife/husband as soon as possible .. They wanna quit everything and just focus on you guysss this person is obsessed with you but in a healthy way tho. . they hate being away from you ... And they feel like they can stare at you 24/7 (wow completely melted bruh) this persons feels so happy with you .. They feel like you are their cute teddy bear that they can hug all day without getting tired ( ahhhh typa boy who would wake u up with kisses and buy you chocolates when u r on ur periods so affectionateeehhhh ) so guys this persons might talk alot around you or send u alot of texts .. They feel like you are the most precious thing in this world (which is a fact )

Possible zodiac :

Cancer , Pisces , scorpio , leo( heyyya felllows haha thats why the energy is so romantic mhmmm) , aries , virgo ( earthy earthy so caringgh) , aquarius ( cute little aliens )

So these could be their or your's sun , moon , rising or venus ,bless!

Bless ! I wish you everything best! Take care of your self! 🦋❤️

Merry christmas! ❤️💚

Pile 3 :

This person and their energy :

Alright pileee 3 welcome to your reading so the energy is heavy and mature here .👀 unlike the other two piles which were dreamy and all lovey dovey.. I feel more realistic here .. So your person is someone very mature and rational .. They might have a very serious aura and a rbf .. They are really mysteries and secretive .. They hate showing emotions tho this might be someone who's older than you or more mature orrr someone who's senior .. Someone on higher rank .. This person wasn't that lucky with love before which left them deep cuts and cracks on their heart which needs to be healed but instead of healing them they build walls around their heart and created boundaries .. They have trust issues and problem opening up to ppl 👀 also they are too calm that its annoying like nothing effects them ( well atleast thats what they show ahahaha after all they are also a human tho)

Their feelings :

So guys right now i see them confused .. Like they are really confused that why you wanna know them and why are you so nice to them .. (Hmm this guys is so extra .. Calm that ass down muhfakuh ) so they defiantly feel like you are someone magical .. So optimistic and nice always so kind ..( well they are suspicious ngl) they feel like you aren't that nice that you show...they often think " can someone be this perfect ? " they feel like you are with them just for the money they have ( oh common bitch release that past for fuck's sake ) they feel lile they shouldn't fall for you .. They are trying so hard to not fall in love but .. Damn ( finally bruhhh) i see that there are some romantic feelings coming .. The wheel turns and now they feel so comfortable with you. this got them thinkin " probably she/he is perfect .. She isn't like here/him (their ex) " I see them slowly letting their guard down around you .. Seeing a new life and journey with you which seems really exciting but again they are insecure and doubt full " what if she cheated .. What if I got my heart broken again "/( the pas was really bad and they dont wanna feel broken again guys .. They are Still confused if they should or shouldn't fall for you tho) they are trying to heal their past first .. I see you guys are probably in separation rn . becz this person is trying to heal .. Trying to get their mind clear about you ... They wanna heal from past first they are releasing their ex so they can be ready for a new loving relation with you .. And soon they will give you a chance .

Possible zodiac :

Capricorn ( ngl I knew it ) , virgo( not even surprised) , scorpio ( ha! Caught yaaaa) , aries , leo , sag

Thats all for today pile 3! LTake care of yourself I wish you everything best haha bless

Merry christmas ❤️💚( sorry only one song cameee forgive me pileee 3🥺)

That's all for today guysss I hope it resonated 🤞🤍... I wish you all a merry christmas .. Take care of yourself and spend time with your familyyy .. I wish you a great year

Take caree!

Bless

[pynkhues]

hey i wanted to ask, do you have opinions or hcs on how knowledgeable is louis aabout BDSM? Do you think he read on subject or he just goes with a heart? How proper do you think his BDSM dynamic would potentially be? I mean, would it involve discussions, safe words, aftercare etc. Or would it be more on the spur of the moment?

It's just my brain was plagued by thoughts what would louis do if lestat accidentally sub dropped during scene. NGL I can't imagine louis handling it very gracefully (sorry, louis)

Also, ideas of louis experiencing domdrop are very delicious too. I doubt he actually feels guilt or shame for being dom, but domdrop would make him irrational. And lestat would be very alarmed and confused what's happening with louis.

Sorry for long ask😶 love your work!

Don't apologise, anon! It's actually been something I've been thinking about too, both as I've been writing this fic, but also just in general because I'm kind of fascinated about how the eras / times they live through both interact with and inform these parts of the their characters.

Because here's the thing: BDSM wasn't actually a term in the 1940s when Louis and Armand decided to explore it. That's not to say that people didn't engage in BDSM (there are plenty of examples of fetish artwork dating back thousands of years, and as I mentioned in this post, Marquis de Sade was writing in the 1700s prettty obscene and deplorable sado-masochistic work), but there really wasn't a shared language then in the way that we have now.

In fact, Louis and Armand entering that relationship in the 1940s in the aftermath of WWII almost feels pretty specific, given it was that post-WWII era that gave birth to the leather movement which in turn provided the soil for BDSM to grow into what we know it as today. The result is that that specific time period marked the shift of BDSM from a counterculture to a part of culture; however, it took a little longer to come back to Paris, which had a booming fetish industry in the pre-war period, but was traumatised from Nazi occupation and as a result wouldn't bounce back really until the sexual revolution in the 1960s.

Louis' hardly sexually naive given his past career as a pimp, but I do think it's worth noting that he became a Dom in a period where there wasn't the same degree of understanding there is now about the psychology of it all, nor a universal sense of what might be 'best practice', and he did it with someone he felt both a disconnect to and a resentment of (which 2.05 makes very clear), which - - y'know! Isn't the healthiest way to engage in that sort of dynamic at the best of times.

But in answering your questions more specifically - - do I think he read up on the topic? Yeah, a bit, but I think it'd be more likely he read older texts that probably....wouldn't be giving a healthy perspective on it by modern standards. Given his reading list in New Orleans featured books like Origin of the Species, Marriage in a Free Society and Madame Bovary - all books published in the 1800s despite it being between 1910 and 1940 - I do think he tends to lean towards older books that form part of cultural canons (it's the snob in him, haha). In which case I think he probably would've read some of Marquis de Sade's work (which, yikes) and probably Venus in Furs and The Romance of Lust.

Given most of the more classic modern BDSM books by today's standards were published really in the 60s and 70s, I kinda feel like Louis and Armand were probably too embedded into their dynamic to change it or be overly interested in reading about it? Which is all a round about way of saying that I don't think Louis would have great etiquette as a dom at all, no, haha, and I think he'd probably more just be getting a read of the situation and following his own instincts and perhaps Armand's too. I can see them buying things - the whips, floggers and cast iron dog bowl (the latter of which always gives me pause!) we can see in their bedroom, for instance - and leaving them out for each other to see as a means of discussion over, y'know, actual discussion.

I do wonder too in terms of the role Louis and Armand being able to read each other's minds plays too. If they can get a sense of what might get the other off that way which feels like its own type of discussion or consent (even if its not actually an articulated discussion or consent). It's interesting to contemplate what that might mean in terms of dom or sub drops like you said, and especially as a comparison point to it happening with Lestat and Louis who don't have the same capacity to know what's going on in the other's head.

I do think if Lestat and Louis were to explore that together, it would be in scenes as opposed to a lifestyle like it was with Armand and Louis though, which is a different dynamic in and of itself, and yes! Okay, your ask was long, but my reply has been way longer, haha, so I'll leave it there for now. It's a really interesting space to think about though.

[thelazyhermits]

Got some info about my Yuu that I wanted to share, which I'll put underneath the cut

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, and y'all probably already know this just based on certain scenes I've written, but Yuu can be pretty oblivious when it comes to people's feelings about her, more specifically the feelings of people who actually like her/think favorably of her.

The only exceptions are Yuu's sons since she knows her boys so well and understands that they love her very much. Plus, their feelings are so obvious when she showers them with physical affection lol

However, Yuu doesn't know that Ace and Deuce have crushes on her since nothing about their behavior around her comes across as being romantic, which is understandable since Deuce is just as oblivious about his crush and Ace is in total denial about his 😂

Regarding the faculty, Yuu really doesn't understand that they all have a soft spot for her since she's so distrusting of them at first, and for a while, her thoughts when around them were focused on gauging what kind of threat they were to her, seeing if they were anything like the adults from her past, etc.

Whenever they're nice to her, Yuu, after realizing there's no hidden ulterior motives behind their actions, just assumes they treat her well cause she's one of the only students who actually behaves in class and cause she's a girl since they all seem like the type of guys who were raised to be gentlemen.

Regarding Yuu's upperclassmen, Yuu knows that her older friends care about her, but she has a tendency to underestimate/downplay those feelings since the majority of the guys are so dishonest about their feelings.

Kalim/Silver are exceptions since those two are always honest and never hide anything from Yuu, and so is Ruggie cause he can't help but make his feelings about Yuu obvious due to how overprotective he is haha

While Rook is also very honest, he also can be hard to read at times, so Yuu doesn't completely understand him/can't fully read him and his intentions sometimes.

Her obliviousness is why Yuu never believes Ace/Cater when they say she's Riddle/Trey's favorite first year since she really doesn't realize how much those two favor her and she has no idea how Trey would absolutely spoil her rotten if she ever gave him the opportunity lol

It's also part of the reason why Lilia's desire to adopt her goes over her head. Like the main reason is that Silver/Sebek told her not to take Lilia seriously, but they were able to succeed in convincing her cause Yuu doesn't realize that Lilia likes her so much to the point that he wants to make her his daughter.

The reason Yuu is oblivious about so many people's feelings about her is cause, after going most of her life being unloved and dealing with all of Mumei's abuse, she has really low self-esteem, which makes it hard for her to believe that people really do care as much as they do about her.

For so many years, she received the bare minimum and she didn't even always get that much so she's more than satisfied to get at least that from her friends and tries not to ask for/expect more.

Plus, Yuu gets so much love from her sons, more than she ever thought would be possible for someone like her, so her need for physical affection/love is easily met through them.

This lowkey makes some of the upperclassmen envious. Like they don't want to be in the first years' shoes cause no one wants to constantly deal with Yuu's mothering and all her "embarrassing" physical affection.

However, they DO want Yuu to rely on them more and seek out their affection/attention. A lot of them are kinda like cats ngl lol 😂

It kinda strokes their egos whenever Yuu seeks them out since she's normally more independent around her upperclassmen, so in a way, it's also all about bragging rights cause you can bet the majority of the upperclassmen would hang this over the heads of the other guys, like what Leona always does whenever his dorm is one of the only ones that never harasses Yuu lol

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

why did the ray finned fishes win out in terms of speciation and population in the water compared to us lobe finned fishes? did we lobe finners just have a skill issue (or gill issue if you will) and fumble the aquatic niches?

Ooh, what an exciting question! I didn't know the answer myself, but this news article provides an interesting and good (in my opinion) hypothesis for how. The article explains that in the Devonian, the now-extinct class placoderms and lobe-finned fish were the two dominating animal groups of the aquatic world, no doubt closely followed by sharks who also diversified greatly. So, we did in fact thrive and dominate over ray-fins for a while! However, the Hangenberg event, also known as the end-Devonian extinction that took place about 359 million years ago, sadly brought an end to the placoderms as a whole, along with many, many lineages of lobe-finned fishes that used to exist: heck, over 96% of all vertebrate species were lost during this time! With great losses of diversity like this, entire classes of animals gone, well... a power vacuum forms. With only some cartilaginous fishes and ray-finned fishes left, it took them no time to diversify and fill in those previously full niches! Looking at the current diversity of ray-finned fishes, it really doesn't take much to assume that they took this opportunity with stride.

How come sharks didn't quite get as diverse, then? Well... I'm not sure. Perhaps the ray-finned fishes were quicker to reproduce? Maybe bony skeletons are just that much better? Some ponder that a bony skeleton would've been more protective and offered more points of attachment for muscles to allow for more powerful movement. It could also just be that bony fishes can live in freshwater as well as saltwater which allowed them to diversify away from cartilaginous fishes! But these are just guesses.

TL;DR: Us lobe-fins didn't have a gill issue at all — heck, two of of the "fishy" lobe-fin lineages are still alive today after other numerous extinction events! Though, perhaps us tetrapods did in fact develop a literal gill issue soon enough... we were rather quickly on our way to colonise the land and follow in the footsteps of invertebrates during and after the Devonian. In any case, the ray-finned fish just saw an opportunity once a power vacuum emerged, and took it! Super happy for them for taking that chance ngl, clearly it worked out really well for them. Now they're the most diverse group of vertebrates!! Love to see a heartwarming success story of the underdogs winning haha

[smartass-hoot]

tag game — writer edition

starting this because why not? anyways, add the links to the fics you've written (or a fic you've read) for each category applicable and tag your writer friends to do the same! (this is your chance to self-plug as much as you want and also i wanna know more about my writer moots 😤)

a fic you've written in record time: [ time can heal (but this won't) ] -- i sat down for like 2 hours while i was in my feels and just wrote this like i was possessed lmao askjnsdkjfnkj satosugu be driving me crazy fr fr

your most popular fic: [ to chance upon your (explosive) heart ] -- ngl when i first posted this shinbaku fic i did NOT expect the attention it got but eyyy, i met some really awesome people from it!!! and it was definitely fun to recieve so many comments haha (currently at 30k+ hits omg like HOW)

the fic you're most proud of: [ Super Tsukki ] -- LISTEN it may be incomplete and abandoned forever and it's first person POV but this is one of my favourite fics ever because of the chaotic plot, banger one-liners, and the peak crack humour. forever one of my faves lmao

your most self-indulgent fic: [ i cried tears of gold (for you) ] -- oh gods this is sooo self indulgent it's actually embarrassing but sometimes the only closure you get is via putting your characters through the same thing and healing them askjndskjfk

a fic you've gifted to someone / was gifted to you: [ apples ] by sodelicate -- my broest of bros wrote this for my birthday years ago and i read it every year because it's just so wholesome and i love gou and rin's sibling bond so much,,, wish i had a bro like rin fr 😭🩵

tagging: @hqissodelicate @hoffelstar @animelake13 @semdere @ennobaka @nylonvalentine and anyone else who wants to join!

[crystallinestars]

Hello again, it's been a while! (since the last rants after the homophobia thing haha) I just wanted to send you and all the previous anons much love and support! I also hope that all these discussions will be seen as the humble brainstorming / sharing of experiences and ideas that they are.

As for all that was discussed before (loved the rants btw), I've said it before and I'll say it again: many people don't see stories as carefully woven threads / creative tools made by humans, they see it as tropes and mirrors. I feel like at some point experiencing stories has stopped being about "how do these things connect and what kind of interpretations can you draw from the source?" to become "what does this story says about / how can I make this story about me, myself & I?". And it doesn't help that this take echos one of the most common (but also very cliché ngl) thing that can be said about what a story is (I think we've all heard something like "stories help us learn things about ourselves").

If we go from there, what can you say to someone who sees their reflection in a story without looking or sounding like the "bad guy"? After all, how dare others question one's identity? Surely they must be some kind of puritan evil and a "x-phobe"!

I saw discussions on Twitter saying a few years ago that some people have cannibalized "leftist" jargons so much that they end up sounding like the very conservative they're trying to push back against and now "social justice" in many communities (esp in fandoms) is used as a weapon to police what everyone does in their corner, even if they're not bothering anyone else. It's too bad imo that in the court of social justice and its jargon, bullying and harrassment aren't treated as serious offenses, but I digress 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going back to the "people love tropes" thing, while I find it sad that it often seems they do not see anything beyond these tropes, a huge part of the blame definitely lies with the creators / companies providing this content. I agree with you 1000% that Mihoyo knew what they were doing with Alhaitham and Kaveh, what with how popular the phrase "and they were roommates!" has become. This is also why I hate when fandoms tell people like the bi anon for example that they should just "find other people like them in the community <3", because it essentially means "go be a killjoy somewhere else and spend your time dodging the content you don't want to see". I'm also not a big fan of popular fandom activties (shipping being at the top of the list, even if technically I don't mind hearing people talk about their hcs and interpretations, so long as they do it respectfully) so I understand how restrictive the experience can be.

And finally, the Kaveh situation. Both you and the anon made great points and frankly? Thank you so much for addressing all these things! Nothing irks me more than people going "omg x behaviour / outfit is SOO gay". I know it's supposed to be a facetious little joke originally and I'm also not here to bring justice to the pixels, but after hearing this so many times I'm starting to believe that many people genuinely think that you can identify a person's orientation just by looking at them. What happened to "traditional / straight men should embrace their 'femenine' side"? Idk, I think about this a lot and I've yet to truly gather my thoughts on the subject, but I do feel like this way of going about these things is a slippery slope leading straight into stereotyping territory.

Also, I feel you both when you say you don't think kavetham is a viable ship. It's of course a matter of taste and people are definitely allowed to play with different dynamics (healthy or not). I just think it's also a case of latching onto a trope (opposites attract maybe) and rolling with it. I've been friends with people whose personalities were drastically different from mine, and while it was fulfilling because we were constantly challenged by each other, let me tell you that this constant was also EXHAUSTING, to the point that it sometimes felt like having to walk on eggshells to keep the balance stable. So yeah, while I can see the appeal in a ship like kavetham, I'm not a fan. I could enjoy it if people focused more on the fragility and vulnerability that such a relationship can create, but alas. I suppose top/bottom discouse brings much more instant gratification.

Anyway, I think the girlies here (and all those who wish to join) should form an alliance and keep doing their things away from the drama. I'm really glad that your blog is a safe space to vent and talk about these things 💜

Glad to see you again, Anon! 💚

I never imagined that stating I'm not into BL in my bio would spark so much discussion on the topic of modern fandom culture. Not that I mind since I enjoy talking about these things, but it does make me wonder if there should be a dedicated space for it so everyone can talk about it together. In the meantime, I am more than happy to be a safe space for others to vent their frustrations and share their opinions on the topic 😊

We talked before about how people project themselves onto stories and characters, and you also made a really good addition to this that I haven't thought of before. It does seem like people stopped interpreting stories for their message/idea, and are now using it as a way to validate themselves instead. It makes me wonder what it is about modern Western culture that's pushing people to project so heavily onto entertainment media.

I won't comment too much on political jargon since I am not American, and oftentimes struggle to understand American politics. One thing I have noticed, though, is that a lot of Americans view everything around them through a political lens, even when said thing or person has nothing to do with politics. They jump to conclusions about where on the political spectrum said thing or person lies based on whether it aligns with their views, and then judge it to be either good or bad. No in-between.

And I also agree that the social justice camp has done a 180, and went from promoting equality and acceptance, to now policing everyone who doesn't adhere to their strict views of what is morally correct. It has led to a rejection of equality. I also wonder why these people feel the need to police everyone around them. Are they trying to make up for something deep down?

I am also very thankful to the anon for opening discussion on the issue of people assuming character sexuality based on physical attributes or behaviors. As we talked at length prior, the term "coding" is being thrown around everywhere to justify people's headcanons about characters. We've gone past sliding down the slope of stereotyping, because I've seen people use stereotypes to describe characters, and parade them as proof that the character is gay-coded.

For example, I saw someone say Kaveh is gay-coded because he whines and complains a lot, dresses feminine, and shows no interest in women (Said person also said a lot of other WILD things to try and defend their point. It was one of the most surreal conversations I've ever had). Some of this stereotyping started out as a joke, as you said, but lately it doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

Glad you are also of the opinion that Kaveh and Haitham wouldn't make a good romantic couple! Every time I see someone compile a list of how they're designed as a pair, and therefore meant to be lovers, I want to write a list stating why their personalities wouldn't make them work. Or if they do start dating, then why it would inevitably fall apart. But I digress.

I feel you when you say you've been friends with someone who is your polar opposite, and how difficult it can be. Though I wouldn't even call us friends because we are just too different to understand each other's point of view. It's frustrating and exhausting, for sure, which is why I commend you for being able to keep a friendship going.

Sorry for writing so much. I thought I would write less, but somehow I never can.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us! It's definitely encouraging and vindicating knowing there are others who share our views out there.

[ragingstillness]

Finally getting around to watching CM:E

Thoughts thus far:

Rossi is sad and I remain pissed that they killed Krystal for no reason

Grey!Em is still my favorite thing

Happy to hear some swearing, the original show needed more of it

Let Rossi say fuck 2k24

“Remote Garcias” “we’re not gonna learn their names” lol Luke stays savage

“Anglophile baking club” oh come on Garcia. We all saw how shockingly queer everyone at that party is. It’s a kiki, plain and simple

Weren’t Luke and Garcia going to go on a date? Oh it’s been three years

“Take your carbs and exit sir” I love Garcia so much

“Hoo-ha” lol, burn Goop to the ground

“Korean drama” it’s a BTS anti unsub

Garcia straight up flapping I love her so much

Damn the writers for this Krystal flashback

Emily is gonna eat this Deputy Director alive

Oh thank fuck at least the rest of Dave’s family is alive

The Galvez cheek kiss *eeeee*

That little head kiss, Rossi’s such a dad/grandad

Damn Sicarius how do you have the time to dig all these holes?

Hahahahahaha I picked up on Tara and Rebecca at the same time as Emily

Waha Tara being openly queer!!!

Paget is like a proud mama that someone in the BAU finally gets to be queer

Dang this cashier girl is like literally saying exactly what I do at work

“My floof” I relate to this girl so hard

“Jagoff!” “Fuckhead!” Get his ass Rossi

Damn this therapy talk is so accurate go Garcia

Garcia and Rossi’s friendship is my Roman Empire

Man I can’t believe Sicarius actually thought that he could control obsessional killers. Dude, they aren’t going to listen to you

Sicarius you anti-retail asshole. I will dream of smashing you in the head with an axe from the hardware store where I work

Emily and Dave walking together both with grey hair look so cool now

“Is everyone but me getting laid?” “I’m not” lol ngl I appreciate the increased sexual humor

That’s my girl Garcia! I hate what it’s gonna do to your mental health to be back but I’m happy to see you

Dude if you’re gonna be a criminal psychopath with these amazing computer skills, how are you not at least making money off of it? Like, there is zero reason for you to be poor. Normally I wouldn’t say that about anyone but dude, are you seriously providing these kill kits for free?

Wait a sec he actually /took/ the dog? He didn’t just kill it? Dickhead!

“This fucking guy” yeah Rossi, read my mind about most unsubs on this show

Rebecca and Tara’s height difference is kind of killing me in this elevator scene they’re so cute

Garcia are you wearing Rocky Horror earrings? Love that

Haha fine furry friends returns

Dang y’all is Rossi the only one allowed to say fuck? It makes him sound like a teenager that just learned all the swear words. Let Garcia say fuck 2k24

I can’t believe that it’s an actual plot line that COVID prevented serial killers from killing so they had to change it up and go online. I’m sure the writers thought it sounded cool but it just sounds silly. What, did Sicarius’ first kill kits also include PPE?

Also why are these guys so willing to kill themselves for Sicarius? They seem like devoted to the cause and frankly, so many of these guys are narcissists and we’ve just seen one defy Sicarius, why are they listening to him? Seriously? No matter what he has on them, why would they consider it more important to follow his orders than their compulsions?

“You two-faced little jerk” yeah I hope he heard that

Soon we’re gonna be seeing Emily’s daydreams about killing people, not just Sicarius’.

Seriously, the idea of Sicarius having money problems is so dumb to me. He’s been shown to have immense resources and technological capability as well as ample time to use them. There is no reason why he should be financially unstable. I get that stuff like private school is expensive but dude, DUDE, you’re running a network of serial killers! It’s not THAT expensive! I feel like this whole plot point is set up to humanize him to a degree and it isn’t working well.

God whatever props guy worked on these posts for the fake forum Sicarius is using had fun. There’s a user named George_Jungle_fkr whose post consists of “I have a waifu, too!!! She lives in the jungle. I fuck in the jungle. I kill in the jungle.” With a profile picture of George of the Jungle. No shit. Pause on that screen, it’s wild. User GetHungry1893 with a post about not judging people and a profile pic of a man with bloody hands sucking on a bone. User NotSoFast with a drag racing car profile pic and with a post titled “I’m getting more guns!” That then goes on to use the phrase “waifu” and *wink wink*. User Tiredoftheblood101 with a bloodspot clipart profile pic and use of the term “OP”, asking about how to kill his MOM (capitalization his). Also in the background a user named Anonymous1232 with the anonymous logo as their profile pic.

Wait Sicarius actually has a real job? He wasn’t just bullshitting about it so he could travel all over the country? What, is running this serial killer network like a side hustle for him? Wait wait wait and he’s going on business trips that the company is actually sending him on? Like he’s following their directives? And driving a company car? This is insane. If they’re gonna characterize Sicarius the way they have been, none of this makes sense. Side note: the guy playing Sicarius is actually a good actor and after some of the previous disappointments (Scratch and the Chameleon) it’s nice to see.

This DEI discussion between Sicarius’ daughter and the redneck neighbor was not something I expected to see in Criminal Minds.

“You fucking beta cuck” yeah pretty much what I’d expect from a guy like this. But also, hysterical to hear incel language being used in real life. Damn man, you just called his daughter a bitch? He’s gonna flay you alive! I wouldn’t provoke anyone like that, even without knowing they’re the head of a serial killer network. Anyone can snap you dumbass.

“Somebody should do something about that guy.” Oh of course she says this to the serial killer. Good lord. “I’m glad you’re not that somebody.” Oh honey yes he is lol. Or he’ll send someone from the network to do it.

Ha I just realized that I carried a case exactly like the kill kit cases when I worked for the Red Cross. Contained equally suspicious things (needles, gauze, etc), if you didn’t know what company I was working for lol.

“Those who bankrolled you” then why is he having money problems god this is so dumb! “I’m not putting a gun to my head” yeah I predicted this would happen.

More hysterical users on Sicarius’ platform: User NotSoFast at it again “I miss my family. Bad aim” User Ript4u, with a muscular torso pic talking about the fruitlessness of love, calling people lemmings, “simps,” “bitchboy,” “I will dominate,” and the delightful paragraph “These bitches think they’re got it all figured out. Walking on a cloud of happy thoughts and unicorn farts.”

Haha Garcia said fan fiction! We made it to the mainstream lol.

“Honey let it go” woman he called your daughter a bitch! I’d punch him for that!

Damn Tara you’re gonna get your gf fired

“Typical bureaucratic bullshit” yes YES the old man is out! Rossi ur a king

Is Sicarius really there in person! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Oh wow he is what a dumbass! And so close to the bomb zone too! Did you want to get blown up too?!

Yeah bringing in domestic terror was a mistake.

“Excellent. I never wanted it in the first place” also kind of misogynistic to turn to Rossi after Emily rejected you.

“Wank-weasel” Garcia ur my spirit animal

“You’re a hedge fund manager with a badge. You have never done anything” get his ass Emily! I guess after Barnes the BAU has completely lost their patience for bureaucratic dickheads

“I just wanted you to hold my hand” they are soft gfs and I love them

About time one of the unsubs turned on Sicarius

Screw the propaganda that you can just make dogs eat people when they’ve been totally docile and relaxed their whole lives

Hey Sicarius, you remembering how annoying it is to do your own cleanup now?

Who the fuck is this guy Elias is hallucinating?

Genuinely curious how he finds time to make these custom foam inserts for the briefcases

Ok why is it taking so long to identify the victims found from Sicarius? This is set in 2022, DNA is fast and common.

Can’t believe this Tyler guy looked into Garcia enough to send her the encrypted locations but not enough to figure out she literally worked for the FBI. His anger over her handing over the info makes zero sense.

I know a lot of ppl hate Will for getting in the way of Jemily but he’s a very good husband. Patient, intelligent, cute. I like him.

“I believe you, but will Mom?” This new sibling energy between Rossi and Emily is everything. Also that burgundy blazer set is amazing on her.

I think Tyler has a little crush on Garcia. He just wants a woman who will kick his ass.

“Because of you I feel safe in our home” so cute literally so romantic I love them when they’re sweet

Only tangentially related but I’d love to see an episode where a serial killer breaks into another serial killer’s house. Like would it go “whoops my bad” or “you asshole you jacked my plan!” or would they just kill each other

Garcia’s little rant is hilarious

“I’m not a problem. I’m a delight. I’m a little dramatic but wonderful” yes you are Garcia

I almost believe the deputy director truly didn’t want to be overseeing this case. My guess, without watching the episode, is that he wants to prove he has some field experience so Emily can’t use it against him anymore. Also he might have a small crush on her and be a little afraid of Rossi. This season is full of men who like dominant women and I support that. I don’t support any sort of relationship between this man and Emily but I support the concept

“Bullshit. She broke your heart.” Welcome to working with profilers sir.

Also finally figured out what Emily’s scathing inditement of the deputy director reminded me of: it’s Hotch’s profiling of his team to defend them against Strauss

Emily’s smile when she finally got one over the deputy director, so pretty

Garcia and her ‘puter like she literally did the cat meme

Ok the orange crocs are a sin I would throw a folder at him too

Not surprised Will doesn’t have cancer but pissed they even teased us with it.

Haha Garcia is gonna make that dude keep the cat lol

Oh hey Sicarius. Nice to see you. Gonna kill a senator now?

lol Sicarius is like yeah I’m not sticking around for this freaky Oedipal shit. You can bankroll me, but I’m not into voyeurism on this

I know we’re supposed to be worried but 1) using a streaming site undercuts the tension of thinking a character will die and 2) that was the sexiest wheels up ever

Hahaha wow they didn’t even try to give us a realistic justification for Sicarius taking off his shirt

[autotheophagic]

Hi!! We're mutuals for Courtney LaPlante/Spiritbox and I wanted to ask if you could tell me more about Ice Nine Kills! They're gonna be one of the opening acts for Metallica when I see them in Toronto so I wanted to know a little more about them!

HI HELLO id firstly like to apologize for how horribly long it took for me to answer this omg, every time ive gotten on ive been like "oh i need to answer that ask!" and then i get distracted </3

ANYWAY. eee congrats on getting to see Metallica AND ink haha, i haven't seen metallica live but i hear they're pretty good :) and i can say from personal experience that ink puts on a literally KILLER live show. which is to say that not only do they fucking rock, they also do "live kills" on stage w/ actors who get seemingly murdered in front of the crowd LMAO. aside from how entertaining that alone is, they're just rlly good live haha

the lead vocalist + the one who's been doing this longest is Spencer Charnas! my bestie and i always say that INK is his baby; he founded it in 2000 and was the only member to persist with it for a Long Time. which is really impressive cuz it took abt 20 years for them to get any sort of recognition rlly. he's very passionate abt it fr

their 2 latest albums (AKA the stuff that's rlly gotten them recognized) are The Silver Scream and Welcome To Horrorwood, both of which are full of songs based on (mostly) horror movies! one album before their horror era was Every Trick In The Book, which has songs based on what I understand are some of Spencer's favorite books!

their albums before those (The Predator Becomes the Prey, Safe Is Just a Shadow, The Burning, Last Chance to Make Amends) aren't based on anything to my knowledge, but all pretty good. The Predator Becomes the Prey and Safe Is Just a Shadow are my faves of those ones!

ngl, the only reason I started watching horror movies/a lot of movies in general was cuz of INK <3

some (maybe too many) song recs, if you'd like to give em a listen before you see them!:

A Work of Art (their latest single and an official song for Terrifier)

Welcome To Horrorwood (Welcome To Horrorwood's title track, not based on any movie)

The Shower Scene (WTH, movie is Psycho)

Hip To Be Scared (WTH, movie is American Psycho; im not necessarily super big on this one but im sure most ppl would say its an essential)

F.L.Y. (WTH, movie is The Fly)

Farewell II Flesh (WTH, movie is Candyman)

Meat & Greet (WTH, movie is The Silence of the Lambs)

Thank God It's Friday (The Silver Scream, movie is Friday the 13th)

A Grave Mistake (TSS, movie is The Crow)

Rocking the Boat (TSS, movie is Jaws; also name drops each of their previous albums, which is rlly fun)

Your Number's Up (TSS, movie is Scream)

Communion of the Cursed (ETITB, book is The Exorcist)

Bloodbath & Beyond (ETITB, book is Dracula)

Tess-Timony (ETITB, book is Tess of the d'Urbervilles; gonna give a TW here, it's a beautiful song but a very heavy topic)

Jonathan (TPBTP; the acoustic version is also beautiful)

What I Never Learned In Study Hall (TPBTP)

Red Sky Warning (SIJAS)

What I Should Have Learned In Study Hall (The Burning)

gonna stop there bc im getting carried away fcdbdbfj, i just love them a lot. I hope this was enough info but not too much!! lmk if you have any more specific questions haha <3

[goodfully]

what another insane cliffhanger... my goodness, okay finished with the second book!!!! i just need to ramble a bit.

since i just finished it, i have thoughts on nino.. tbh i was quite fond of him initially but then he got increasingly unbearable haha the way he... says to lenu that since childhood he imagined a life where he, lenu, and lila would be together, and then.. uhm wow..! where the hell does he go! hahaha well maybe ill feel differently about him in the next book.

ngl tho, esp during that part with the elena/lila/nino drama, i was so stressed.. it just kept going!!! and kept feeling like so much!!!! wow. i had just kept thinking that theyd all best sit down and be honest with their feelings for each other and then form a poly relationship and run away together or something idk hahaha

okay i think one of my most favorite things about this book is how important every character feels. obviously we have lenu and lila, but like the rest of the cast?? they were not just some random childhood friends mentioned in the first book, they all are growing up too and are experiencing lives of their own. i think this book, more than in the first book, showed a lot of parent/child relationships, mm like how much we fear to become our parents.. to be inevitably trapped in the same fate as theirs. its in my mind a lot, about how much the things that happened to my own parents affect me. ahh elenas relationship with her mother.. despite how badly she wishes to not become like her mother, i think she does see her strength and her care for her... (oh god, like when she was sick and her mom comes out of nowhere?? and i think she was torn between feeling embarrassed by her and how capable her mother really was) oh and things like both antonio and ada becoming in different ways like their mother, stefano resembling don achille, lila fearing her son will be stupid, etc and ofc also just... the weight on all of their shoulders to.. hurry up and grow up? ahh. ///tw death tw suicide/// for the peluso siblings to witness their father be literally dragged out their house in front of them for allegedly murdering another man, hearing about his death in prison, busting the door down and seeing their mother hang herself. for the cappuccio siblings to only have their mother, who needed her children to care of her and her mental state more than she could take care of them. hhhh

that reminds me, the whole book i was hoping for more enzo content hahaha we really barely know anything about him at this point but i adore him. and he is there now! altho i wonder how much more we'll hear of him in the next books.

oh yeah, lila talking crazily about educating all the children to make a change starting with their generation... just like me for real... this is pretty much the main reason i studied early education hahaha its silly now when i think about it, but i used to feel like my skull was breaking from how much i felt i needed to find a way to take care and educate of all the children in the world in order to make some sort of difference... to find a way to get every single child to experience love and care from a loving and caring family... god. anyway i mean i still do believe that taking care of and educating the young ppl of our generation can change the world somehow, but it was just rather.. sad? seeing lila go crazy about her son and her very real fear for her son, that he might become like her and her family, unable to escape violence and poverty.

all this talk about a book centered on elena and not a single word about lenu yet ahhh my bad! oh i want to talk about her years at the university, and... gosh. just knowing you just lack something that your classmates from a rich family and background have that youll never have... even tho she quite literally graduated with top scores, she never felt fully capable? never felt enough? the need to work so hard to suppress herself in order to be okay in that city?? aghfh

alright, the ending! with her realizing that her novel (that she described as something that was truly hers to pietro) was basically born out of and deeply connected to lilas blue fairy book... god!!!!! what the hell!!!!! my goodness. she quite literally describes how theyre soulmates, how theyre connected by an invisible thread, how much they mustnt lose each other anymore. and when they finally met again and she finally realizes that "in the world there is nothing to win, that her life was full of varied and foolish adventures as much as mine, and that time simply slipped away without any meaning, and it was good just to see each other so often to hear the mad sound of the brain of one echo in the mad sound of the brain of the other." sobs. i think throughout most of the book, i so desperately wanted the two of them to just... be okay and stop being in constant war with themselves for each other.. but anyway wow, even tho for this second book the two of them arent with each other most of the time, the way their relationship is so hhhhh described so well and is always relevant, its so real wow its so real.

okay done... mm i was thinking that lenu is probably the more relatable character, but i think i identify a lot more with lila? not really bc of her life or the way acts, but the way she thinks maybe? the way she feels about ppl? idk actually, but its probably affecting the way im reading the series. mm starting tmr i wont have as much time as i do now to read, but im hoping i get through the next two books before the end of next month at least!