#there's so much to think about and analyze and just... love

[andhumanslovedstories]

I was originally going to move to the Pacific Northwest with Cyrus at the beginning of 2017. Then Trump got elected, and I couldn’t do that anymore. I didn’t know what I was going to do instead, but I felt a duty. It feels more comfortable in a way to say I felt a duty to my community, and I did, and I do, but it might be more honest to say rather I felt and feel a duty to my country. As a kid, I heard the phrase, “My country, right or wrong. If right, to be kept right, and if wrong, to be made right.” To me—naively, idealistically, yes—that was what America meant. A flawed nation full of people who were trying. And Washington DC was the place where that happened. So the work I needed to do would be in DC.

It wasn’t. I didn’t end up going into politics—probably a good call since I think that would have killed me. Instead, I became a nurse. I help people on a more personal level. I try to change one hospital’s culture. It’s a smaller focus, more sustainable, and one that gives me satisfaction, but it’s not what I thought I’d be doing in 2016 when I woke up to discover that I’d been even more naive about our country than I thought. And it’s a role I’ve been feeling the limits of lately as history unfolds.

But weirdly enough, thinking as much as I have about the country lately, I’ve come to the realization that I am still as patriotic now as I was as a kid attending anti-war protests and sitting during the pledge of allegiance. The worst of us don’t get to claim to be the only people who get to love our country. They don’t get to make this country whatever they want. I am an American, and as fraught as that identity is, it is mine as much as it is anyone else’s.

For better or worse, for good and for evil, the core of the American identity is that we can make America whatever we want. You can (and should!) analyze, critique, deconstruct, and often condemn that idea and the ones underpinning it (like, for example, the false and harmful idea that the continent was a vast empty space just waiting for us to fill it with “real” civilization). But the idea endures. And the idea has power. And the idea doesn’t have to be ceded over to those who can’t conceive of a world not shaped by their cruelty, hatred, bigotry, and a bottomless lust for power.

I’m not just an American. I’m also a Virginian. Sandwiched between the capital of the Union and the capital of the Confederacy, teeming with civil war battlefields, it’s a state that reminds you constantly that you have to fight for the country you want. To the north, we’re the south, and to the south, we’re the north, and every region of the state is its own distinct subculture. It’s not easy to find the overlap between Nova and coal country. I love my state, and I am deeply ashamed of so much of its history and culture. Leaving Virginia didn’t make reconciling those two facts any easier or make me hold them any less true.

After writing the first part of this post, after thinking all the thoughts that led me to writing it, I went on the most impromptu cross-country trip of my life back to the east coast and northern Virginia. Crazy what makes you homesick. I wanted so badly to move away from Virginia after living there my whole life. And I love the west coast. I bought a house out here, it’s safe to say I’m pretty locked in to the PNW. But lately I’ve been feeling wistful for other versions of my life. Not regretful, but still a little sad that life is a series of mutually exclusive choices.

There’s worse fates than loving two places. And that love has given me comfort when reality has absolutely not. As Trump and his cronies remake American in their image, the betrayal and grief I feel has been strangely invigorating. I wouldn’t mourn as much as I am if I didn’t love what they were taking away. It’s not a simple love or an easy one, but it’s still love. As we go into this particularly dangerous continuation of the debate about what America is, it will be very important for us to remember what we love.

There's so many horrible things happening in America right now that it has been interesting to see what individual horrors hurt me personally the most. I grew up going to the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Musicals, plays, concerts, that weird bust of JFK, playing around on terrace during intermissions, putting on a velvet dress that you're going to ruin dropping a milk dud in your lap and not noticing until it's fully melted, wearing the pinchy shiny shoes that are the training bras of women's formal footwear, operas I didn't like but did love, jazz I didn't understand but still fascinated me, red carpet, big stairs, the absolute nightmare amount of experiences I had as a new driver as I repeatedly got trapped in the Kennedy Center's fucking private DC island or whatever the hell is going on traffic-wise, free performances on small side stages, getting to see an enormous production on the Center's most enormous stage, all of which was accessed by walking through that a long, tall hallway lined with flags of the world that made you feel like a dignitary attending the most important even in the world.

And now Trump's taken it over. He fired its board. He appointed one of his loyalists to run it. I want to throw up.

Sometimes I miss DC so much. I love the Pacific Northwest and expect I'll live here for the rest of my life, but this isn't my hometown. I grew up the edge of the District. I've lost cumulative years of my life stuck in traffic on the inner loop and outer loop. Because of the Smithsonian, it used to be so baffling to me that anyone ever had to pay to get into a museum. I've used the Washington DC zoo as a shortcut to a different part of the city because it's free to enter. You couldn't count the amount of knockoff Spider-man popsicles that I've eaten sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. My reading tastes were molded by Kramer Books in Dupont Circle. I spent afternoons walking around the National Mall, normally just a big empty field until there's an event--book fair, country music program, international cuisine, whatever--at which point for a day or a weekend or a week it becomes a sea of tents and stages. I went to protests outside the Capital and the White House about the war in Iraq. I froze my toes off watching Obama's 2008 presidential inauguration.

It seemed like everyone's family touched the federal government in some way. Everyone's family had moved here because they were military or state department or a political consultant or worked with an NGO or some other reason that meant you had to be here, in the nation's capital. Plenty of people had connections to the federal government that we more hush-hush. Like kids in class straight up going, "I have no idea what my parents do for a living. They're not allowed to tell me." High schoolers regularly, accidentally drove into the CIA parking lot and got escorted out because the premises were that accessible. My family moved here because my dad is a reporter who ended up covering international trade. (Imagine how much his job sucks right now.) He switched beats one summer to cover the White House instead. He got to fly on Air Force One. He got official Air Force One M&Ms. I was SO disappointment my dad didn't work there for Bush to call on him by nickname.

Every day my family got The Washington Post. I read the comics and the kid's page, then the rest of the Style section, then Metro, then news. I learned to read from it. We wrapped our delicate Christmas ornaments with its pages. We used yesterday's papers to clean our windows because they didn't leave streaks. I took journalism in high school. You can't IMAGINE how much and how frequently we talked about Watergate. When Post changed its motto to "Democracy Dies in Darkness" after Trump's election in 2016 that meant something to me. I knew Bezos owned the paper now, but that was still my paper, and the motto spoke to something I fervently believed: if people just knew what was happening, they wouldn't allow it to happen. If you expose a problem, people will naturally agree that it is a problem and that we should do something to fix it. Flash forward to Trump's third fucking campaign, and the newspaper wouldn't endorse a presidential candidate. Chickenshit cowardice. Then they change the motto. "Riveting Storytelling for All of America." Eat shit. You're nothing now.

Politics in America is just telling everyone how much you hate Washington, DC so that they'll elect you so you can move to DC. Well, guys, the city fucking hates you too. Republicans will never give the District actually meaningful political representation because no one in that city would vote for them. It's not just the policies; it's the contempt. No one in the new administration loves the city they schemed and lied and stooped to take over. It's just iconography to them, and all they care about is taking that iconography for themselves. Trump doesn't give a shit about the summer program for the Kennedy Center. He has never seen a show at the Kennedy Center. When he was president, he never attended the annual awards. He's trying to destroy one of the most significant places of my life and I'm genuinely unsure if he has ever stepped for inside of it.

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

Soooo, I have a small angsty ask if you’re up for it, how would RO’s react if mc flinched when they make a sudden movement while in an argument?

Ooh drama!

Cassandra: Wide eyed and freezes mid sentence, lowers her voice IMMEDIATELY and apologies. She feels awful because she knows that she gets scary when she is mad, she has learned to be after being surrounded by military men all her life. She never wants MC to think she would ever raise a hand to them in anger (...I mean unless MC cheated on her, then it is a 50/50 coin toss if she puts hands on them). Otherwise though, the fight would end right there and then. If the fight wasn't over anything major she would calm down and make sure MC is okay. If the fight was over something big then she would walk away to calm herself.

Valeria: She also jumps back with MC and quickly asks them genuinely what was wrong? She wouldn't get it herself, being raised in a loving home and having a sheltered life; but that doesn't mean she wouldn't me sympathetic. No matter how mad she might be, Valeria will always be the first to offer help to others. She would sit down and hold MC until they are okay, even if she can't really imagine why MC could ever fathomly think she would hit them.

Tomás: Just stab him in the heart why don't you? Throw him off the roof, shoot him in the head, and beat him with a metal club because all of that would honestly be kinder than ever making him realize MC could ever be afraid of him that way. Honest to God, this man would sooner CUT OFF his own hand than have you EVER think that he would do that to you. The look in his eyes in that moment? AGH, it hurts me to even imagine it! He would be so heartbroken and shocked. Whatever you guys were arguing about, (again, unless it was about cheating... if you ever cheat on Tomás (first of all, how dare you?) he wouldn't hit you but he wouldn't really feel the same about you being scared of him, as he is right now.) consider it forgotten. He will spend the next week apologizing and practically punishing himself for making you feel threatened.

-

Ludovica: Oh, she gets it. Believe me, she would get this better than anyone. Nobody else could possibly relate more than her, she would hardly ever be so mad at MC that she would yell but if MC ever thought she would do such a think for a moment would still her to a statue. Her eyes wouldn't judge though, no. Her eyes would be full of understanding of what pain and trauma results in such a reflex, she would calmly tell MC "Please believe me when I say this... I would never, ever, raise a hand to you; my love."

Aurelio: Bro stills to a halt and has to Sherlock Holmes style analyze what the actual fuck, just happened. Did you just think...? That he would ever, do that to you? He is honestly more hurt as a result of that reaction; that you would ever, for even a fraction of a second, think he is such a brute. Such a monster, to raise his hand to you. He struggles with being a good man, he really does; but to think you think so little of him in terms of morality? He might tear up just a tad, depending on how much he has opened up to MC about himself. Regardless if MC intended to do so or not, he would walk away and honestly be upset with MC for a good while about this.

Elio: Does not get it sadly, he quickly puts it together that you though he would hit you; but he doesn't get why. He will tell you just as much. "I was just gesturing, why did you flinch?" Absolutely will not drop this subject till you explain it to him, "Did you think I would hit you? Have I ever done so before? Then why did you think I would hit you now? I obviously would not. It was a reflex? A reflex is an involuntary response to a stimulus. I raised my hand and that make you flinch? That would suggest a logical stimuli, I have gestured to you before. I have pointed to things before, I have patted your head before, you never did this before. Why are you doing it now?" He is low key pressed over this, he hides it by trying to appear confused or curious but in reality he is upset because he does not understand. He NEEDS to know why you did that, so he can never do it again. If you get mad over the questions he will surprisingly get mad too, it is jarring because he almost never gets mad. He is upset by this new information and he must understand, you must help him understand.

[thesirencult]

Messages For The Divine Feminine 222

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Dear Divine Feminines,

I've never felt called before to share this kind of message as I was always skeptical abaout collective messages and saw them as nonsense. This evening though, while doing a personal tarot reading I felt the energy of two important Divine Feminine archetypes: Aphrodite and Cleopatra.

As I was wrapping up my reading I felt called to share some messages with fellow Divine Feminines on their journey to ascension and spiritual fulfillment.

Think about tomorrow as the first day of a new life. If you want to welcome the new you have to let go of old stories and negative beliefs who are holding you back from reaching your true potential. New perspectives are opening up and the truth is available for you to uncover.

You've strayed away from your path and got carried away by attaching yourself to your current situation. You forgot that your goal should be manifesting your heart's desires and not getting stuck on emotional rollercoasters. You hold the reigns. Detaching from the situation doesn't mean letting go of a beautiful vision of the finale, it means not paying attention to the immediate responses of your environment. Also have this in mind when it comes to your relationship with your destined Divine Masculine.

You are choosing yourself now. You are choosing your own vision of a better future. You're crafting the grand finale! Remember, you are currently living in the energy you seeded yesterday, so if you want a better tomorrow start with "good seeds" now. Congratulations, you have cut the cord and cracked the code of what manifestation and alignment means. Don't destroy tomorrows dreams by analyzing them from the viewpoint of yestarday's broken thoughts. You are more powerful than that.

Hoarding won't bring you results. On the contrary, sharing yourself and your gifts with others and being generous with your time and energy will yield better results. This will help your energy flourish. Growing means being generous with the fruits of wisdom. Stop trying to "save yourself" from the future because it scares you, the future is much better than you think and you're just self-sabotazing. You are safe. This tower moment was needed because it is better to build on solid foundation. Goddess wants you to know that your Divine Masculine is also undergoing the same process. No, when I'm saying Divine Masculine I'm not talking about the dusty next door, but about your true pure soul connection, the one that demands growth and love from you, not hate, frustration and games. These are low vibrational connections. Games won't work when it comes to soulful connections. Drop the mask and share yourself bare... Step into the mindset of abundance. You're enough, you are safe and you have enough love to be vulnerable with it.

When it comes to your love life, you're currently learning to believe in love. You are in the energy of manifestation, mid-manifesting. You next connection will be a soul connection. You're NEW to this, cut yourself some slack. Focus on how you can grow and prepare for them. Your person will love the fact you're both learning how to love eachother properly, they won't make fun of your eager nature or you trying to do better, they ar eon the same boat.

Think about what YOU want, feel it and give it a shape. Create the mold and the Goddess will fill it in. Do not try to fit the clay in the mold. Even if you are in a relationship with your true soul connection know that he is and he becomes the product of your manifestation. Create the mold. Create the mold and they will follow. The situation holds lots of potential to grow into something beautiful-if you let it unfold. Roses bloom when the time is right, the moon holds different shapes each night, time runs in circles and cycles, cosmic timing...

Trust. Time, faith and belief are the solutions to your problems. How can the seed of love grow inside you? How are you going to water it? Are you even watering it my gorgeous Divine Feminine? Work your way up and let yourself grow into the ideal state of love. Let your vision of love adapt and change.

In a pure soul connection each one builds on the work of the other. A sacred entaglement of two equals with a common goal. Both alternate between leading and being lead. Swaying in the dance of mutually beneficial promises. If you want your love life to heal, seek to be helpful, seak to lead spiritually. Together you will bring to life something much greater than what you would create alone.

My Divine Feminine, let go of your doubts, accept yourself as a whole, mind-body and soul and water your potential.

[judenostopwaitkeepgoing]

A Class Analysis of the Crown Villains

Analyzing all of the EN-released Villains from who would be the most to least wealthy in 1890s Victorian England.

A/N: This is just for fun! These characters/stories are not that deep, and I don’t want them to be! I just find it fun and silly to think through what this world would actually look like in history, and maybe you do too! 😊 Spoilers for pretty much every villain on the EN server, so read at your own risk! Also I am not a historian or economist, just a gal with a computer, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

Also, I’m assuming that Ikémen Villains takes place sometime in the 1890s in London, England—the tail end of Queen Victoria’s rule. This estimated time frame is based mostly on Harry’s love of Arthur Conan Doyle and passing mentions of when “he has a new novel coming out.” Doyle was a prolific writer and wrote for a long time, but I wanted to keep the time period specific enough to really think through what the economics would be like.

Wealthiest - Jude Jazza

Originally I was going to put the villains who belong to the gentry (Elbert and William and ... Victor??? Maybe?? haha) at the top of the list, but the more I thought it through, the more it became clear that in order for Jude to realistically carry out some of the actions in his route (which I haven’t finished!) or various story events/collection events, he would need to be so fucking rich. Like stupid wealthy. Like not quite at Jeff Bezos level of wealth, but pretty up there.

And baby started from the bottom now he’s here, okay! The fact that Jude grew up in abject poverty then became a successful CEO of a trading company originally struck me as one of the more unrealistic things in the game (which I do not care about, he’s still daddy), but the more I looked into it, the more I got on board with it. The writers were smart to add a rich benefactor to his backstory, because in 1890s London, that was probably the only way for a poor kid from the slums to receive an education. Wealth disparity was bad in the 1890s, and people were mad about it! Jude’s hatred of the rich and powerful is in keeping with working class (and even some middle class) attitudes at the time. And with the rapid development and expansion of the Port of London (from the completion of the Royal Victoria Dock in 1855 to the Port of Tilbury in 1886), trading was the business to be in at the time. So it’s not impossible that Jude could have just lucked out in a few key ways and worked extremely hard to get to where he is (although he would still probably be considered a unicorn in this time period).

As for Raven Co.’s annual profit: who knows. I’m guessing it’s in the billions in today’s money. I’m unsure what Jude’s salary would be, he is explicitly characterized in his route as a fair boss who pays his workers a living wage, but he’s also like randomly really generous with like Ellis or Kate (i.e. giving Ellis a blank check for Xmas, giving Kate more than enough money to get a dress, etc.) so he’s probably taking home plenty. And considering how smart Jude is, he’s probably pretty savvy about saving and investing his money. He also makes a lot of deals and has a lot of involvement overseas, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he has bank accounts in several countries. The man is committed to building his rocket, okay! I’d say his annual income is in the hundred millions of dollars (in today’s money). But his net worth is probably in the billions.

Lord Elbert Greetia

Okay, now on to our first landed-gentry boy: Lord Elbert. Lord Elbert is most likely the wealthiest member of Crown in terms of generational wealth, with William coming in a close second.

Elbert is a member of the landed gentry or “peerage” and uses the title of “Lord,” which he inherited from his father. Being in this class means that he not only has significant wealth (in literal pounds and assets), but it also means that he has a rock-solid social standing and owns land. Land ownership is a big deal here because it means that Lord Elbert has the power to control anyone who might be living/working on property that he owns. And I’m not just talking servants/staff at his estate, I’m talking residents of any townships or villages on the likely acres and acres of land that he's in control of. So he has a passive income via taxing residents and laborers on his land(s)... forever! Being in this class also makes his wealth a lot more stable and immutable than say, Jude, who is a great businessman but whose income and assets are at the mercy of the market/demand.

Elbert’s character in the game is very stoic (until Kate shows up!), and he has deep trauma from his childhood home, so he doesn’t seem to exercise a ton of the privileges that would be available to him in terms of controlling the people who live on his properties. But, if we’re talking the 1890s here, he would probably have entire villages or even small towns under his economic purview. I think of him as a Mr. Darcy type, probably bringing in about £10,000 a year, or a little over £1.5 million/$2 million in today’s money. This combined with the cost of all of his assets or “beautiful things” that he compulsively collects (artwork, fine furniture, jewels, real estate, etc.) means I’d estimate his net worth to be about $70-100 million in today’s money.

Lord William Rex

I’m only putting William after Elbert because I do think Elbert has more non-cash assets, simply from the nature of his curse which causes him to be greedy. But let’s be clear: Lord William is also loaded. He, like Elbert, is a member of the peerage of the time and owns lots of land/real estate. He probably receives a pretty substantial passive income from all of his properties like Elbert.

I do think there’s one key difference between them: I have a feeling that William would either redistribute some of the income that he gets from any taxed residents/workers on his properties or lower their taxes—he just seems like the type to be about that. So that’s another reason why I think Elbert might have a higher net worth. Still, we find out that William paid for the construction of a hospital in his route, and for a man to do that in the 1890s, he’d have to be pretty freaking rich. I’d say that his net worth is probably somewhere between $50-100 million in today’s money.

Victor???

Big question mark around Victor! I’m putting him here just because he is so connected to the Queen, and unless we learn something different from his route, I’m pretty sure that means he’s at least upper class, if not a (former) member of the gentry/peerage. Or perhaps comes from a wealthier family. He also receives a salary and lodging from the Queen (as do all the members of Crown I think) so he’s certainly getting all of his needs met. He’s also the oldest member of Crown, which just makes me assume he’s had more time to accrue savings. But couldn’t tell you what his net worth is even if you held a gun to my head, this is all just vibes haha.

Liam Evans

Liam grew up comfortably upper class, basically wealthy despite not being a member of the landed gentry. His father owns an estate, or at least did when Liam was a child, and had staff and servants. Because of his mental illness and disfigurement, Liam’s father probably relied entirely on family money after a certain point.

As an adult, and considering he is a successful and popular leading actor at a major theater in London at the time, Liam is doing well for himself! He is now much better off than his father! Good riddance! Actors at the major theaters at the time were typically paid anywhere between 2-25 pounds per week, and Liam was likely on the upper end of that spectrum. Let’s say he takes home 20 pounds a week, which in today’s money would be about 3,200 pounds, or about 4,000 dollars. That’s 208,000 dollars a year before tax! Not bad at all! But, it’s worth noting, that at the time actors were definitely not seen as contributing members to society (especially women/actresses—they were essentially thrown into the same category as sex workers), so Liam’s social standing in the grand scheme of things is definitely lower as an actor than it was probably growing up in an upper-middle class house.

Ellis Twilight + Alfons Sylvatica

I’m throwing these two in here together because they are probably doing well for themselves, but only because they are attached to a super-rich person haha. Who knows what their salaries/wages are or what kind of deal they have with their respective sugar daddies (hehe) but suffice to say they don’t have to worry about money. Alfons is probably more irresponsible with his money, only because of his lifestyle, but even so he’s nowhere near as big of a spender as Elbert so it probably all ends up a wash. And I’m assuming that Jude pays Ellis pretty well because he loves him lol.

Harrison Gray

Okay, this one took some digging! Harry’s dad was a police officer, which in today’s world would mean that his family was pretty well-off and Harry had a comfortable upbringing. Not a member of the upper classes/gentry, but probably solidly middle class. This is also implied in the game, or at least Harry isn’t one of the characters that we know grew up poor.

But, it turns out, police officers weren’t paid super well in mid/late 1800s London! Harry’s dad would probably be on the better-paid side of the spectrum because he was a chief/high-ranking, but the police were a relatively new-ish phenomenon and weren’t considered “high-value” professionals. Harry’s dad likely only took home about 10 guineas a week, which in today’s money is about £1,400 or $1,700, so he was making about $88,000 a year in today’s money (before taxes). Which would be relatively comfortable for a single person today, but for a family in the 1800s would be pretty much living paycheck to paycheck with maybe a couple splurge purchases a year (like for Christmas or birthdays). So Harry’s family wasn’t anywhere near as poor as Jude or Alfons were growing up, but they likely lived quite modestly!

As an adult, Harry probably makes a healthy salary as an editor/proofreader. Publishing was booming in the 1890s, and writers were most often serialized in weekly publications, which meant a steady income for both writers and publishers. I’d say Harry is probably taking home a couple hundred pounds at the least per week, so something in the thousands of dollars in today’s terms. It’s unclear to me what the rules of living in Crown castle are. Like do they pay rent? I don’t think so? Let’s say they don’t, which means Harry gets to save/keep all his wages and only spends on personal stuff. He doesn’t seem like the biggest spender, if anything he reads as very sensible with money to me, haha. So he’s likely got a cozy little net worth building up but nothing crazy. Since wealth stratification is so extreme in this time period (the rich were very rich and the poor were very poor), Harry would probably be making enough to still be looked down on by the upper classes and enough to still be the object of contempt for the lower classes.

Poorest ? - Roger Barel

Doctors today are very well paid, but this was not the case in the late 1800s! Growing up, Roger’s dad probably had an annual salary of about 300-500 pounds a year, or roughly $45k-$80k in today’s money. Not a lot to live on for a whole family now, but this probably went further in the 1870s/80s when Roger was growing up. It’s implied that his family lived relatively comfortably, so I’m guessing that his dad had a good reputation and was sought after for his surgical expertise. He may have even gotten paid to teach in surgery ‘theatres’ of the time. (I haven’t read or looked much into Roger’s route so this might be wrong!)

I’m only ranking him last because he seems to not be formally employed haha. Since Roger is not a publicly practicing surgeon, he is relying on his income (?) and lodging from Crown for his day-to-day expenses. This could be any amount it seems, haha, depending on what he asks Victor/the Queen for. He doesn’t seem like a crazy spender, so he’s probably not complaining. I have no idea what his salary would be, though. It doesn’t seem like Crown bothers with all that, haha.

[hotasfahrenheit]

something i've been thinking about a lot since watching the end of Love For Love's Sake is what and who exactly is real in the universe that Myungha is playing the game in.

what do we know about this world? firstly, it is presented to us and Myungha as being the world of the story that Myungha read, but focused on Yeowoon instead of the main characters from the manuscript who are a happy couple that ends up together. they don't enter the picture at all; we don't know what point in that theoretical timeline Myungha is inserted into, but this implies it's before Yeowoon meets them since they're just not there.

the next step from there tho is... is the manuscript that Myungha read even real? he remembers the mysterious sunbae being the one who gave it to him to read, but if the sunbae is some kind of god or angel of death, did Myungha actually read it after he died, as part of a test to figure out what to do with his soul?

really my ultimate question that this whole line of thought is digging at is if Yeowoon is also someone being given a chance at life and happiness again, and is as real as Myungha is (and if the other boys are thus real too). despite Myungha seeing the game interface that no one else sees and having the system errors affect his existence in the world, the interactions between other characters when Myungha is not there are too deep and too real to be just NPCs. they're experiencing life and making decisions like fully really people, and living it outside of Myungha's scope of knowledge and what he can see. we get multiple scenes of the characters interacting and doing things without Myungha, and not all of them connect directly back to him or things he's doing.

knowing that Myungha's grandmother already passed away fills in her existence easily- she could very well actually be Myungha's grandmother's soul actually brought into this world as well. clearly some people are not there because they're also dead- like his ex girlfriend appearing as the agent, or his mother appearing in the cafe- but they have much simpler functions in this world. but there's little things- Sangwon struggling with his relationship with his mother and talking about how his father used to hit him too, Kyunghoon having a boyfriend that is always far away and he can't see until some point in the future- that hint to me that they might be other lost souls that had bad or sad things happening in their lives too, that might have brought them early deaths as well.

was the story that Myungha read about Yeowoon a story about another real, sad, lonely person who made the same choice Myungha did? was the game not just a set up for Myungha to save himself and learn how to love himself and others but a way to save multiple souls?

one of the main pieces of support behind that idea for me is the fact that Yeowoon breaks through the haze after Myungha disappears and not only remembers Myungha but is able to take control of the game to bring him back. i agree with this great post from @wen-kexing-apologist that Myungha (and his depression) is the one controlling the game he's experiencing in general and causing the system errors, because that makes sense for the things Myungha sees. but the others don't see them, though they do see the physical effects on Myungha when things happen like him falling down the stairs when he's with Sangwon. they see Myungha reacting to screens only he can see, and they do notice that's he's interacting with them and clearly think it's odd even tho they don't really comment on it.

and in the most crucial moment, Yeowoon finds the pen and the notebook. Yeowoon pushes to remember Myungha, pushes to find him, pushes to figure out a way to get him back, and i cannot believe that he's just some kind of NPC in an actual game or a made up person in a constructed reality that Myungha gets to exist in as the only real human soul. he has drive, he makes autonomous decisions, he is cognizant and aware. he needs to learn about how to love and be loved like Myungha does; he needs to learn how to connect to others and not be alone and adrift. he has a reason to be placed in this world like Myungha does even if he's not the one in charge of it until the moment it matters most.

could this be an alternate reality where Myungha just hasn't died yet and that's how everyone is real and there? theoretically maybe, but the fact that he is experiencing everything as a 19 year old in the current time and not in 2012 means despite going from 29 to 19 means that this isn't just another parallel earth where he's taking over the existence of another Myungha. (plus where would that Myungha go??) also his grandmother being there and being fully a real person means that he hasn't just been placed back into the real world, since we know she's already passed away there as well. i don't have a solid theory yet for how their world exists, i just have ideas about how they're existing within it.

i feel like i'm hitting the point when i'm just gonna be talking in circles about this from here out, since i've been thinking about it in circles, so I'm gonna wrap this up and go think about it for the rest of forever.

tldr is that i think at least Yeowoon and the other boys are all real. they're all being given another chance, with Myungha as their ringleader. they need to learn from him as much as he needs to learn from taking care of them; they all learn that they're worthy of love and friendship in ways they hadn't known before.

they all get their second chance.

[sallymew4]

just look how much BRIGHTER Mob’s demeanor is once he has Ritsu safe with him. that is the biggest grin ive ever seen on that boy’s face he loves his little brother so damn much it’s incomprehensible

[shorthaltsjester]

there’s something that’s just :) to me about the fact that when vex is in danger and percy shouts after her in tlovm, he still uses vex’ahlia even though it’s almost always a situation in which choosing the shorter and thus faster and easier to yell version would make more sense (this happens on several occasions). the very base conception of vex in percy’s brain is vex’ahlia. besotted and utterly in love fool behaviour. he’s so real for that.

[polyporethewicked]

Actually imma use this art as an opportunity to rant cuz i was thinking about a lot of shit when I drew this one

Here’s a bit of context about me: I’m an ex christian, on account of a lot of shit I dealt with at my old church that killed my belief in god, and forged a style of critical thinking that isn’t particularly compatible with any religion. Or assuming that I know anything about the world at all. On account of that, I used to hate christianity, but I’ve healed enough to say that response was immature. I’m pretty neutral about most religions nowadays, but I do really like to analyze them, and think about them.

So here’s the thing: I see a lot of less mature christians use it as a cudgel against everyone else, right? Everyone’s heard about that, that’s not news. But what I find so interesting is that dichotomy between the actual teachings of jesus and the way these less mature folks act, so I’m thinking about it: Where does that dichotomy come from?

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that the dichotomy is the reason I stopped being christian, because as much as the new testament is intended to be loving and kind, the powerful messages in the bible that it’s usually known for are strewn among the entire bible, not just the old testament, but the new one too. The dichotomy is baked in, that’s why so many of us non-christians fail to understand, the dichotomy has actual precedent within the bible.

Idk, i just think that’s kinda interesting to think about.

MONTH OF ULTRAKILL DAY 26 // CRUSADE AGAINST THE SEA

Worm bosses are so fuckin cool, man

except in terraria

fuck the destroyer, that thing sucks

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

one thing i really wish people wouldn’t forget when it comes to suguru’s character is that his core desire is just to have a family. not in a nuclear family way, but in a “i want a place where i belong / i want to protect the ones i love” way…… literally everything else is just an extension of that desire. a means to meet that end. he broke down after being forced to realize that staying with his family meant having to watch them die, so he left and made a new one. and he got stronger. and his core wish was always, always always to create a world where he’d finally be able to protect them :(((((((((

[columbusfirefighterdiaz]

Even before Buck answered his question, Eddie knew what he was going to say. This was Buck. Of course he was going to say yes to taking care of someone. Just as the cliché goes, this is a man that would literally give his shirt off of his back for a stranger. Eddie had actually seen it for himself a couple of times. Buck's generous nature was one of the many things that Eddie loved about the other man, but it also was one of the things that made Eddie worry about him as well. It was a trait that people could take advantage of, and there were a few times that Eddie had to second guess his own actions to made sure he didn't do that as well.

That was the predicament that Eddie currently found himself in. He desperately wanted to ask a favor, and calling it a favor didn't seem to do it justice, which he knew Buck would most likely say yes to. However, Eddie wanted to make sure Buck agreed to it for the right reason because what he wanted to ask would forever change the nature of their relationship. And while Eddie had dreamed of evolving their relationship into something else, preferably something romantic, he wasn't sure if now was the right time to even attempt to pursue it. While he had six months to adjust to being single, Eddie wasn't even sure if things were 'officially' over with Buck and Tommy. It seemed like it was, but that could all just be wishful thinking on his part.

After all these months of analyzing every detail of his life and knowing how good it felt to finally get the confirmation that he was indeed gay earlier tonight, Eddie wasn't sure if he could put confirming one more thing off too much longer. While going to a club and getting a stranger to fuck him was one thing, there was no way he'd ever trust a stranger or even an acquaintance to dom him. In fact, there was only one person in the entire world that he would trust to do that, and that person just so happened to be sitting on the couch with him.

Before he could think himself out of it, Eddie decided to just shoot his shot. "I'm going to ask you something else, but before you say anything, I want you to actually think about it first. I know I'm probably asking way to much of you, and this will probably change our whole relationship, so if it makes you at all uncomfortable, I want you to be honest with me and tell me. I'm not going to think any differently of you if you do say no... But, as I told you earlier, I'm wondering if I'd be better suited as a sub. The only way I'm ever going to know if that's true is if I actually submit to someone. You're pretty much the only person I'd ever feel comfortable being that vulnerable around though, so would you ever consider doing a scene with me? I know the timing is horrible since you're still probably technically with Tommy, and you just find out that I'm gay and single, so again, it's totally fine if you say no..." Eddie knew he was rambling, which was something he never did, but it just seemed like once he made his mind up that he was going to ask Buck, the words just rushed out of his mouth before he could think about them. Finally, he forced himself to stop talking and took a big swig of his beer as he let Buck process what all had just happened.

If Buck thought that the brief intermission to grab another couple beers would be a good soft reset on the intense feelings coursing through him, he was only correct for a minute or two. The beer was refreshingly cold down his throat but nowhere near enough to take edge off the heat that felt like it was flushing his whole body. His body had gone through quite the little rollercoaster in the last few hours and as comfortable as he was around Eddie at all times, that was more on an emotional level right about now. And anyway, "uncomfortable" is not a word he'd use for the keyed up feeling he had simmering.

The second beer was half gone by the time he cradled it near his chest, against his neck idly. It gave him goosebumps, made his nipples stiffen under the sheer white button up, and while he wouldn't describe it as good, it was probably needed. If he was going to get so heated that he accidentally poured his heart out when Eddie very much didn't need to be dealing with anyone else's feelings, it was the right move.

Buck almost answered automatically, because the answer was on his tongue before it had even fully formed in his head, but he miraculously was able to stay his tongue, in what to him felt like a Herculean feat in retrospect, but the way Eddie asked it... answering automatically felt like the wrong move. The way he asked made Buck feel he needed to be very deliberate with his answer, so as to not be seen as flippant or not really knowing what he was saying. Turning his head, he held Eddie's gaze for a moment, though his eyes did briefly dip to look at the other man's lips, moistened from the drink. He licked his own lips in reaction before flicking his gaze back up.

When he spoke, his voice was deep, quiet, sure. "Of course I would. I hope you know I would. You're one of the, if not the most, important person to me. I wouldn't let you doubt that."

[thatskindarough]

My actual only request and probably unpopular opinion for season 3 is that they tone down the color grading. I think season 1 looked a lot better. Season 2 was way to saturated. Crowley’s skin looked orange.

[dykedvonte]

Mouthwashing is genuinely one of the first fandom spaces in a while where I’ve seen people outright refuse to curate their own personal spaces and try to shame people for not making what they personal like/believe

Like this is not saying ignore any issues that come up or whatever is serious but like on the general terms of just not interacting with things that are not your personal take or interpretation, a genuine refusal to just look at and create things that you like.

Constantly seeing people repost art without credit to shit talk it and excusing it because “well it’s bad cause insert deeply personal and not actually a valid justification”, calling out people for silly comics or differing interpretations. Its not just a holier than thou mindset it’s just a weird hatred for things not specifically catered to you or your view point at this point and like it’s seriously the case of just follow and like what you want to see and block, mute or whatever doesn’t fit it.

Take this out of context all you like, but I just so odd to me to try and force people to interpret and engage with a media that is supposed to be purposefully vague and open in certain areas. Or just be mad that people like to play with and explore the characters outside the story, in different settings or with twists in events.

Like why is it an issue that someone is having fun with the game in a different way than you?

[eyebulb]

Well, it's not universal. I've seen plenty of people saying that s2 is where the show truly picked up and went from great to awesome. I do have episodes I like less, but if I'm just rewatching the show for fun I usually start from Truth Seekers and forward. Cus that's when I put my whole heart into the show. I did love it before that, Loo Loo Land is still one of my favourite episodes, but the plot that starts with Truth Seekers (with Blitz whole self-hatred issues) is what solidified my investment. And s2 has soo many great character episodes imo. I love The Circus (It's still my favourite), I love Exes and Oohs, I love Oops! really all episodes that develop a character are gold to me. (I'm not personally a huge fan of the mammon special but I still recognize that it's a great episode. I'm just not that invested in that story, still enjoyed it a lot tho) Full Moon is also a favourite, even if it does feel like two separate episodes in one.. but "When I see him" is clever, heartfelt and funny and the conflict between Stolitz is still one of my absolute favourite ways of handling something like that when it comes to fiction. I usually HATE the misunderstanding trope, but with Stolitz it.. just made so much sense.. I can't be mad cus it felt inevitable.. and I loved analyzing that fight and the fight in the beginning of Apology Tour. (Also both Bryce and Brandon killed it with their performances) I feel like the ones who complain about s2 are the ones who expected the show to just be a shallow office comedy. Like.. the pilot.. and maybe one or 2 episodes in the first season. But the show is about Blitz, the Helluva Boss himself.. and his issues, his job, the world he lives in and his relationships. It's a character based show.. and for that.. I think s2 hit the nail right on the head.

I honestly don't get why people hate on s2 of Helluvs boss. The show is fun. Stolitz is cute. That's all I need.

[auriannaventiwithcaramel]

out of curiosity, i decided to look up if the russian word on the vodka bottles in saf was complete gibberish or if the english letters made a word or clue.

i'm sure this has been knowledge for years but yall. the word in russian means "another". it's called. another vodka.

i'm thinking about the implications and being sooooo normal btw.

[elenasalvatore1]

Huh, it is definitely lack of hinny fans” critical thinking. Your character analysis lacks any credibility - personal attacks? Yes, if hinny fans don’t agree opinion it is often used by them. I am sorry, but all examples was taken from books. You believe in Ginny’s great love and you think that it is canon. That is definitely hypocritical nonsense, especially when “her love” never was shown in books. A lot of her acts was written as acts of childish rude selfish girl who wants to have Harry. If you reject to think so it doesn’t mean that you are right. I can disappoint that people can have their own opinion on the same topic. There is no rule that HP fans should believe in Hinny, Romione. There is no rule to treat Ginny Weasley as a good person. It doesn’t mean that your subjective opinion is right. Your conclusions should be based on simple logic.: The Weasleys should be good, all their actions are good, they are all one big family together, so everything is right. You just don't really analyze what is written." Disadvantages, covering up the "off-screen development" and the fact that it is presumed as "true love", which was definitely not the case. It's funny that you're worried about how much time I'm spending on fictitious characters, considering that most of the posts on tumbler are devoted to hinny shit and bashing harmony as a ship with their humiliating comments"about brothers and sisters and other hate”, which supporters of the canon actively use especially in main “tags”. But it doesn't bother anyone. You try shut up me with “follow etiquette”. However, I have all right to publish my opinion and it is not worth than yours.

I don't understand why ppl don't want to understand if a couple fell in love , it's just about simply , purely , truly falling in love not aabout- are they perfect , are they compatible, do they create healthy relationship , someone else was more better for him/her , they deserve better and blah blah blah

They fell in love. True Pure selfless love

THAT'S IT

Yes i am talking about canon ships

[good-beanswrites]

"Becomes more competitive" you say? - refering to your headcanons with downbad fuuta 👀

For someone I can imagine if his partner is someone that's a little flirty and knows this, they might initiate a few scenarios just to fluster and see what he tries next only for him to combust (although there might be a few rare occasions where he does get soft)

YES !!

Fuuta is constantly fueled by a mix of personal pride and the need to Be The Best at whatever’s going on, the societal expectation to be manly and good at wooing someone, and also the feeling of “WOW it turns out I’ve never had a real friend or connection in my life and now that I have someone with genuine mutual love between us I’m going to go a little crazy about it and do things way out of my comfort zone without thinking twice until it’s too late.” He’ll leap into a variety of situations – doing favors, participating in couples’ activities, flirting, and making advances of physical touch – solely focused on Winning, only to realize too late that he’s gotten himself into a romantic/intimate situation he wasn’t prepared for 😅

I especially love the thought of someone who knows this well, and plays a little game of “how long can I string this along until his competitiveness gives out into embarrassment?” 

They’d get used to dropping hints while doing different activities about how talented they are doing it, maybe even the best, and no one could do this any better – so that Fuuta inevitably joins in to prove them wrong. If they’re already in an established relationship, I think his partner could overcome any of his party pooping by suggesting they show up the other couples in whatever “cheesy” thing they’re doing. (The partner eventually learns to be a bit more careful with this power, though. As well as things usually end, there have been some mishaps when Fuuta decides “it can’t be that hard to do dancing lifts/dips, right?”) There are a few situations that he catches himself in and explodes that he was tricked into it, but there are others that surprise his crush by how readily he pours his effort into the activity.

Fuuta would be extremely hesitant to initiate physical touch out of fear of overstepping (some of it is healthy respect/consent, and some of it is overthinking paranoia) so it’s up to a more confident crush to push his boundaries. Starting as simple as taps to get attention, and building up even to something like holding hands, they figure out what kinds of things make this touchstarved idiot bluescreen, what turns him bright red, and what he’ll actually melt into and return. The minute they start the whole process, though, it unlocks something in his mind: he realizes that there's no need to fear physical advances, and in fact, he can be the one causing the bluescreening. There's a 50/50 whether his smug attempts at being touchy will backfire and leave him more frazzled in the end 😅

He's never once shied away from a verbal battle, and flirting is no different. He may not have a lot of quick wit, but he can certainly hold his ground in back-and-forth that involves some romantic undertones and teasing. He’d be accustomed to some pretty crass gaming lobbies, so I imagine he doesn’t mind dishing out dirty jokes and innuendos in an attempt to fluster his crush. However, it’s way easier to dish it out than to take it – it doesn’t take long for his crush’s forward comments to absolutely break him down and leave him sputtering. Though he loses all battles like that, there are moments when he's sure they have complete privacy that he ventures some vulnerable compliments that can actually leave the other speechless. That is, until he immediately backtracks in an attempt to save face...