#there's really nothing i would change from it other than having todd live for my self ship purposes

[igotanidea]

No strings attached (1) : Jason Todd x plus-size!reader

Summary: Madison was Jason's stalker and he was tired. When Y/N moved into the neighbourhood he saw that as an opportunity to get rid of the baggage. Accidental meeting led to something more than friend, never a relationship though. He was not into tail, surely not, right? So why sudden change of behaviour when she pushed him away? And why would she push him away in the first place?!

Warnings: not in this chapter, but definitely smut and angst in the next ones. I'll post individual warnings in each chapter

***

„Why the fuck can’t you just leave me alone?” Jason sighed deeply leaning onto the doorframe of the apartment next to his. Honestly he had no idea what was happening to him lately. Maybe it was the effect of getting back to Gotham, but he became more depressed than before. Guess being back from the death and realizing your family replaced you does such things to people. Of course, there was his hole Red Hood persona, but Jason? Jason Todd was insecure, sensitive and in desperate need of someone to love. And someone who would love him back. However, all those traits were skillfully covered by sarcasm, edgelord attitude and harsh behavior. So why wasn’t he able to just tell this girl to fuck off and leave him alone? Why couldn’t he say something mean, which will left her offended and disappear from his life.

He just couldn’t and it was really getting on his nerves.

“But Jason….” the girl whined “why can’t you see it?”

“See what exactly?” he raised an eyebrow

“We are just perfect for each other!” she squealed and almost jumped into his arms in an attempt to hug him “Come on, just give this a chance!”

“Please, go away, Madison.”

“You remembered my name!”

“Of course I remembered your name. How could I not?” he rubbed his forehead “you left like a hundred notes with your name and number in my mailbox. And sticky notes on my bike. And you tormented my ….’ He hesitated, the word brother, not getting thought his mouth “nevermind. I told you, I am not interested.”

“You just don’t know what you’re missing, Jaybird….”

“Stop calling me that! I hate it! Who …. Who the fuck taught you this nickname!?” now she actually managed to anger him. Maybe it was good, maybe for the first time in a while he would be able to take some direct action and get rid of that stalker of a girl.  

“I got my ways.” She smiled mischievously “nothing ever gets lost in the Internet and I got just the right tools to dig deep.”

“Listen up, Madison….”

“Oh, I am listening. Extremely carefully.” She took a step towards him and he immediately flinched. Cornered by a girl, fucking great. Grayson would never let him live this down. “Come on, Jason, let me in….” she cooed, her hand tracing up his arms towards his shoulder “you remember how much fun we had last time….”

“It was one time! One fucking time and it was a mistake!”

“The kind you want to keep repeating?”

“What the fu…..” he started, but another female voice joined the conversation successfully cutting him off. A very annoyed female voice.

“I’m sorry, but could you two take this conversation, elsewhere? You are kind of blocking the door to my apartment and I would love to take this off.” She pointed towards the heavy backpack she was wearing.

Oh, right. There have been a lot of talk in the building about a possible new tenant. Guess she was the one. And the timing was just perfect for Jason, who immediately jumped into the occasion.

“Baby!” he almost screamed and both girls looked at him with wide eyes. Madison in surprise, bordering shock, the other one with “what-the-fuck” expression, probably wondering if he was mental. So much of a good first impression “you are finally here!” he continued, hugging the girl lightly to not startle her.

“What the …..?” she hissed into his ear, but before she could finish the sentence he squeezed her tighter, almost getting a kick in the groin.

“Come on, just play along with me for a minute.” Jason whispered, so that only she could here “I need to get rid of her, I’ll buy you a wine or whatever, just help the neighbor out.”

“You’ll owe me much more than just a wine if you keep your hands where they are now.”

Oh, shit. Only now, he realized that his right palm was definitely way to low on her back. But damn, the girl got curves in all the right places and he was just a man.

“Sorry.” He mumbled and pulled away, acting like they knew each other for eternity “Why didn’t you call me, princess? I told you to do it the second you get in town! I can’t believe you carried all this weight by yourself!”

“I just wanted to surprise you…, em…, honey.”

“You most definitely did.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Hold right there.” Madison came in between them and pushed the other girl away slightly “who the fuck are you?”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Jason blurted, hoping his new neighbor would really play along.

“GIRLFRIEND!?”

“Yeah, um, hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to…..”

“Did you know you’re boyfriend is cheating on you, sunshine? No wonder, though.” She gave Y/N a look over  “You should really lose some weight, sunshine. Will do you good. ”

“I’m sorry, what….?”

“Hey! You have no right to talk to her like that!”

“Sure not. but for some reason you choose me over her multiple times….”

“ONCE!”

“Whatever, Jaybrid. If you ever get bored with her, again, you know where to find me. I’m not giving up on you, baby” Madison raised onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek briefly. Jason almost didn’t stop himself from wiping it off his face. “as for you, girlfriend” she almost hissed the last word “I don’t; think this is going to last long. Too bad for you.” her vicious laugh filled the whole staircase “love you Jaybird, call me!”

And leaving just a thread of perfume she was  gone. Not that she left furious Jason and absolutely confused Y/N behind.

“I’m sorry about ….” Jason turned around, ready to do some explanation, but much to his disappointment, the only sound he heard was clicking on the key in a keyhole. From inside.  “Hey, come on, Y/n! Open up!”

“Go away, you freak!”

“Let me at least apologize face to face, not through the door!” a moment of silence on her part gave him unreasonable hope.

“Apology accepted, now move out of my door or I’ll come at you!” if only she knew who she was threatening….

“I promised you a wine for helping me, remember?”

“I don’t care! If you don’t leave in ten seconds I’m gonna call the police!”

“Hate to break it to you, princess, but it’s Gotham. I’m the best chances at protection you have. Or you can always call upon Batman, but I don’t see that being successful.” Jason scoffed, starting to walk back and forth.

“Oh, yeah, right. That really sounds exciting. Meeting the big, bad bat in person.” Her voice reverberated somehow clearer and closer than before and when he raised his gaze realized she actually opened the door and was now standing right in front of him.

Shit, she was pretty with her h/c hair, flowing around her face, a bit fuzzy because of shitty Gotham weather, shiny e/c eyes and pouty lips. She might have been a bit on the heavier side, but it only added to her charm and fire that she showed before by putting on the little display.

She was beautiful and even tiredness of the journey couldn’t hide that.

“Hi.” Jason whispered, a little taken aback and filled with guilt of dragging her into his mess.

“What the fuck was that?” she sighed deeply “Look, Jason, I am exhausted. I had a long journey and as much as I would love to take you up on that wine offer I had no power in me to do that. So how about we just forget about this whole mess and say farewell to each other, hm? I have no interest in interfering in your personal life, especially with the girl who called me fat the second she laid eyes on me.”

“Don’t you want to know your handsome neighbor better?” he smirked and realized that even though it just slipped through, there was a chance that his old self was getting back to life. Was it because of her?

“Nah, not really. I think I’ve seen enough. And like I said, being back in Gotham sucks, but what can a girl do, right? Life sucks as well sometimes.” She shrugged and started closing the door

“Wait!” he put a feet in, before she managed to actually do it.

“What now?”

“Are you from around here?”

“Born Gothamite. Glad you can’t tell it just by looking at me. Now, I really want to go to sleep, if you don’t mind…..” she yawned and rubbed her eyes in the cutest child-like manner, making him feel to many things. Too many dangerous things.....

‘Right, sorry. I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Y/N.”

“Yeah, night, crazy boy.”

She already had a nickname for him.

He definitely wasn’t going to let this acquaintance end up at this….

next part ->->->

[slut4thebroken]

Chapter two: Helping Hand

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Arkham Knight/Jason Todd × Bruce's daughter!reader

Summary | You can’t stop thinking about what might’ve happened to him, so he helps you take your mind off it.

Warnings | 18+, sexual content, angst, smut, unprotected sex, breeding, oral (fem receiving), kissing, thoughts about torture and sexual abuse, vomit, crying fluff, Jay is a sweetheart and I love him

Words | 4.9 k

Notes | Three things: 1. I don’t have much practice writing emotional smut so I’m sorry if it’s not very good😣 2. I’m pretty sure the Robin suit was bulletproof and that’s why he didn’t die… but we’re just gonna ignore that when his scars are mentioned lol 3. I could not for the life of me find a gif of AK!Jason’s face that was wide and not super tall so enjoy this one instead lmao

Ao3 link | <3

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Chapter one

You stood, frozen, a few feet from the door. After a moment, you snapped out of it, now very determined to escape. 

You maneuvered your legs through your arms until they were in front of you. Unsurprisingly, the knots are good. Jason’s always been good at them, in and out of the bedroom. You pulled on it with your teeth, trying to loosen it. When it didn’t work, you stopped, thinking of another way. 

You’ve seen your father do this only once, but he’s done it a few times before so how hard could it be?… You tried to remember how he positioned his hands, then took a deep breath. After a few seconds of trying to make yourself do it, you scoffed- questioning why you would even try it in the first place. 

“Nope- no. I can’t break my fucking thumb.” Instead, you found a knife in the kitchen and slowly started working it through the rope. It took way too long until it finally grew loose and fell to the floor, but once it did, you searched for a way out or a way to contact your father. After being unsuccessful, you sighed and sat on the couch. 

The door being slammed shut made you bolt up- you must’ve fallen asleep. Jason walked straight into his room, not even looking at you. 

“You have to let me contact him.” You said after he walked back out, now without his helmet. 

“No.” 

“You can’t just keep me here forever.” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Don't tempt me, princess.”

“Jason, I’m serious.” He sighed and finally looked at you. 

“I don’t plan to. But until this is done, you’re staying here.” 

“What is this?” When he didn’t respond, you huffed. Then, “Does he know it’s you?” That made him freeze again. 

“He should, since he’s the world’s greatest detective, but we’ve long since learned he doesn’t live up to that title.” Good. If he knows it’s Jason then he probably won’t be as worried about you. 

“I need to let him know I’m okay so he can-“ You were about to say, so he can focus on stopping you and not on finding me. 

“So he can, what?” His voice made you stiffen- you've never heard him sound so menacing before. 

“N-nothing.” You said quietly, averting your gaze. You already knew he was giving you the “you better tell me right fucking now” look so you quickly changed the subject. “Are you going to kill him?” You asked quietly, scared of his answer. 

“Not yet. He needs to suffer more first, then I’ll kill him.” You stared at him in shock and this time he was the one to avert his gaze. 

“Jason, please. This is my dad we’re talking about. I don’t have anyone else.” 

“You have me.” He said quietly, making you frown. 

“You know that’s not what I mean.” He was silent for a moment, then cleared his throat and looked at you again. 

“He deserves to die. You moved on from me so easily, I’m sure you can do the same for him.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I saw you.” 

“What?” 

“With Dick. I saw you.” He gritted, making you stiffen. 

“Whatever you think you saw, Jason, it wasn’t like that.” Your stomach twisted knowing that someone else other than Dick knew about that night. 

“Really? Because it seemed pretty clear that he was fucking you.” He said bitterly. You swallowed thickly and looked at your lap, remembering what had happened that night. 

It’s been a little over a year since you lost him. Dick was staying the night at the manor before heading back to Blüdhaven in the morning, that’s the only reason you even had this opportunity. He opened the door, hair messy, sweatpants low on his hips, and immediately invited you in when he saw your current state. 

“I- I can’t… Dick, I can’t anymore, it- it hurts so much. I don’t want it to hurt anymore, please.” You whimpered. His hand cupped your cheek, wiping your tears. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked softly, gaze trailing over your face. 

“Make me forget. Please, I just need to not think about it for a little bit.” You whispered, tentatively placing your hands on his chest. 

“Are you sure?” Instead of answering, you placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was frozen for a beat before reciprocating. Never breaking the kiss, he walked you toward his bed and gently laid you down, then crawled over you. The rest of the night was filled with soft moans, whimpers of his name, and you forcing your thoughts back to him every time they wandered. 

Afterwards, he laid next to you, both of you panting and staring at the ceiling. Without his touch, all of the thoughts came back full force and you recoiled away from him as you jolted up. You couldn’t even formulate a sentence but he seemed to understand when you gathered your pajamas and hurried back to your room. 

You felt sick to your stomach. You used your best friend to forget about your dead boyfriend- his brother. The rest of the night was filled with quiet sobs and silent apologies to Jason. 

“I know you won’t believe me, but it really wasn’t like that, Jay.” 

“I mean, I always figured you’d eventually move on to Dick. I didn’t think I’d have to die for that to happen though.” He scoffed bitterly. 

“That’s not what happened.” You said quietly, feeling nausea start to build in your stomach at the thought of you being the cause of some of his pain. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, eyes burning with unshed tears. 

“What, now you’re gonna cry? You’re a big girl, you made the decision to use my own brother as a fucking rebound, so deal with it.” He spat and you let out a quiet sob as you turned to face the other side of the room. He was right… After doing what you thought was going to make you feel better, you only felt worse. Now instead of thoughts of his death and the torture he might’ve endured, it was also about how you betrayed him. You could have picked anyone else on the planet, but you chose Dick. The person Jason felt has always gotten everything and more. The only person he was ever worried you would leave him for. 

“How long did you wait, huh?” His voice was much closer now and then you felt a hand in your hair, painfully pulling you to face him. 

“Or did this start before I was kidnapped?” He sneered. 

“No! No, it- it only happened once.” You sobbed, wishing you could turn your head away from him. “I thought… I thought he could help me.” 

“Help you?” He scoffed. 

“Yes! Because the love of my life was fucking murdered and for over a year, every single time I fell asleep or let my thoughts wander, my stupid fucking brain would make up things that might’ve happened to you since my dad didn’t let me see the video. So I was hoping that for just one fucking night, I wouldn’t have to think about that.” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheeks. His grip on your hair grew slack until his hand fell to his side. 

“And did he?” He asked quietly. 

“No.” A heavy silence filled the room and you looked down at your lap again. “I’m sorry, Jason.” You whispered. He sighed and started walking away. “You’re still mad at me?” The venom in your voice poorly masked your sadness. 

“No I’m not fucking mad at you! How can I be after that shit?” He exclaimed, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes. 

“It’s okay if you are.” You said softly, despite the fact that your chest ached at the thought. “Just don’t be mad at Dick, it wasn’t his fault.” He let out another heavy sigh and walked back over, sitting on the right side of the couch, as far away from you as possible. You stared at the scar on his face, feeling bile rise in your throat as you imagined him screaming and crying. Or maybe by then he had been so tired- so broken, that he couldn’t even scream. Clenching your jaw as your eyes started to burn again, you wished that Joker was still alive so you could kill him yourself.  

“Hey,”

“Huh?” You asked, moving your gaze to his eyes. Clearing your throat and willing the tears to disappear, you forced yourself to pay attention- to not let your thoughts wander again. 

“I asked if you’re okay.” 

“Oh. Yeah- sorry.” You lied, gaze straying back to the scar. How many other scars does he have now? Your eyes moved down to his body, imagining all of the places he could be permanently marred. 

“I’d make a joke about you undressing me with your eyes but you actually look like you’re about to start crying.” He chuckled dryly, making you look up at him again. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you forced yourself to look at the ground. 

A lot could’ve happened in over a year. So some of your made up scenarios are probably true. Was it only Joker or were there others? Did they only torture him physically and emotionally? Or did they torture him... sexually too? 

You could barely even finish the thought before bile was quickly rising up your throat, making you run to the bathroom. This wasn’t the first time you’ve gotten so nauseous thinking about what happened to him that you actually threw up. You slammed the door shut, not wanting him to see you like this, and once you finished throwing up you just sat on the floor and cried. You felt so fucking weak. And he probably needed you to be the strong one right now so you can help him with what he’s going through. 

A hand on your knee made you jump. Jason was sitting next to you, offering you a glass of water that you gratefully took to swish in your mouth and spit back out into the toilet before closing the lid and flushing it. 

“I’m sorry.” You croaked, not able to look at him. 

“If I knew it was going to be this hard on you I would’ve stayed away. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He pulled you into him, letting you rest your head on his chest as you tried to calm down. 

“What happened to you?” You whispered and he stiffened. 

“Baby, I don’t really think it’s the best idea for me to tell you. Just try not to think about it, okay?” 

“I can’t.” You whimpered. 

“How about I help you?” 

“How?” He didn’t respond. Instead, he helped you stand, got out an extra toothbrush and put toothpaste on it, then handed it to you. You took it and tiredly brushed your teeth, watching through the mirror as he wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your head as he waited. You leaned back into his body and let your eyes fall closed, focusing on his chest moving with each breath and his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your side. 

When you finished, he picked you up bridal style, making you release a startled giggle, and carried you into his bedroom. He gently set you on the bed, then started removing his tactile gear. You eyed him curiously until he was in just an undershirt and underwear. When he laid down next to you on his side, you mirrored the position. 

“However you want me to help, I will. Whatever you want. We can just lay here and talk to get your mind off it or I can help you another way.” He said softly, bringing a hand up to brush your hair behind your ear, then cup your cheek. 

“I need you, Jay.” You whispered, eyes fluttering down to his lips. 

“Are you sure?” He rasped. 

“Please.” That was all it took for him to slowly move forward and press his lips to yours. The kiss was tentative, experimental, but quickly deepened. His hand moved to the back of your neck to hold you against him as you moved yours to fist his shirt, pulling him closer. Without breaking the kiss, he pulled you on top of him, his freehand rubbing up and down your back in soothing motions. 

“I missed you so much, baby.” He whispered against your lips, making you whine. When his hands moved to the hem of your shirt, you pulled back and ripped it over your head, then continued the kiss. Warm hands snaked up your back until he met your bra, effortlessly unclasping it and sliding it off your arms to the growing pile on the floor. You moved your hand to his cheek, gasping when you felt the raised skin. 

“I- I’m sorry. I forgot and it startled me.” You said nervously, worried you had upset him. 

“Don’t be sorry, princess.” You could tell he was being genuine. Leaning down slowly, you pressed a tentative kiss to the marred skin, watching his cheeks turn pink. 

“C’mere.” He mumbled, pulling you into another kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. So much, Jay.” His smile was infectious and soon enough you were both sporting lovesick grins. He swiftly rolled both of you over, never breaking the kiss, and settled between your legs. Your hands made their way to his hair as he started trailing kisses down your neck, sometimes stopping to leave a mark. He quickly reached your chest and took your nipple into his mouth, groaning against you as his fingers stimulated the other one. When he was satisfied, he moved to the next one, giving it the same treatment. 

You did your best to just focus on the feel of him and not let your thoughts wander. But even though he was right here in your arms, you still had trouble believing this was real. 

“Am- am I…” He pulled up to look at you and you brought your hands down to his cheeks. “I’m so scared this is just another dream.” You whispered, gaze rapidly moving over his face, trying to re-memorize it just in case.  

“I’m real, baby. It’s really me.” He said softly, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. Slowly leaning down, you felt his breath fan your lips for only a second before he was kissing you. Your grip tightened on his face, scared that if you let go, he’d disappear. After a moment, you pulled back, gasping and panting, keeping him close to you. Opening your eyes to find him already looking at you, you nodded, giving him permission to keep going. 

Jason continued his path down your chest and stomach until he reached your pants. He slowly dragged them down your legs, teasing you, and you tugged on his hair, expressing your impatience. He just chuckled and finished pulling them off, then placed his hands on your hips, tracing the fabric of your underwear with his thumbs. 

“I’ve always loved these. My second favorite pair.” He said quietly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Your hips bucked subconsciously and he looked at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. 

“Have you forgotten your manners?” He said with a smirk, making you blush. 

“…Please.” You muttered, embarrassed. When he didn’t move, you let out a needy whine. “Jay, please.” You pouted, giving him puppy dog eyes. 

“How can I say no to that face?” He cooed, pulling your underwear off, then parting your legs and settling between them. When he licked his lips and let out a low groan, even your ears grew warm with a blush. 

“So fuckin pretty.” He said under his breath, moving onto his stomach. “Perfect.” He placed a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh and you lightly tugged on his hair again. 

“Jay, stop teasing.” You frowned. 

“I’ve waited years for this. I’m taking my fucking time.” He growled. Despite his words, he slid his arms under your legs to pull you into him and immediately dove in, licking a slow stripe up your folds. 

“O- oh… Jay,” You said breathlessly, hips flinching when he let out a loud moan. Like a man starved, once he got a taste, he grew even more eager. He lapped up your arousal as he fucked his tongue inside of you, but when he moved up and sucked your clit into his mouth, you let out a strangled moan, pulling him against you by his hair. 

“Fuck! Oh my god… Jason,” You whimpered, unable to control the way your hips were rutting against his face. It felt as good as you remembered, maybe even better, and when a finger easily slid inside your drooling hole, all of your thoughts just completely vanished. 

“How’s that feel, princess?” He grumbled against your clit, making your hips buck toward the low vibrations. 

“Good- so fucking good, Jay.” You whined breathlessly. “Please don’t stop.” He inserted another finger, making your grip tighten in his hair as you threw your head back with a loud moan. The coil in your belly was so fucking tight and you prayed that because this was the first time in a while, he wouldn’t want to draw it out. 

“Close-“ You gasped out, tilting your head back up to look at him. His eyes were closed and brows furrowed as he repeatedly sucked your clit into his mouth, never stopping the motions of his fingers. 

“Come for me, baby. Please.” He all but moaned as his eyes flickered up to you. You held him tight against you as your hips maintained a steady rocking against his face. “C’mon I know you can. Let me taste you- I need it, sweetheart. Please.” How could you say no to that? He only had to suck your clit into his mouth once more before you were falling over the edge, feeling your entire body tremble beneath him. You sobbed out a moan, feeling so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings and him. But you never wanted to stop. You wanted to live in this moment with him forever, just feeling close to him and nothing else. 

As you came down from your orgasm and grew sensitive, you knew he wouldn’t stop, so you pulled on his hair, trying to remove his mouth from your overstimulated clit. 

“Jay- Jay, baby, please.” You gasped out, hips twitching in a useless attempt to escape the overstimulation. He reluctantly pulled back and you watched with half lidded eyes as he removed his fingers and sucked them into his mouth, cleaning them. You whimpered at the erotic sight. 

“I hope you know that now that I have a taste for it again, I’m gonna have my mouth on that cunt at least once a day.” He smirked, making your cheeks flush. 

“You’re so crude.” 

“No,” He scoffed, “you’re just easily flustered. Now. Speaking of getting a taste for things again, if I don’t get my cock in you right now, I’m gonna explode.” He said as he moved up your body until he was leaning over you. You smiled, trailing your hands down his back and grabbing the bottom of his shirt to pull it over his head, but it quickly faded as you got a glimpse of his torso. Your eyes started burning as you examined all of the scars, ranging from knife wounds to a bullet hole. 

Two fingers grabbed your chin and tilted your head up as he lowered his body until his chest was pressed to yours so you couldn’t see. But the damage was already done. 

“Hey,” He said softly, moving his hand to cup your cheek. “Just focus on me and the moment. That’s all that matters, okay? Just us, nothing else.”

“I know… I’m sorry. I feel so stupid getting this upset about it when I’m not even the one who experienced it.” You let out a dry laugh, looking to the side. You really did feel stupid because of this and you hated it. It’s not like you. 

“That’s not stupid. If someone did even a quarter of the stuff to you that he did to me, I would kill them in a heartbeat- Actually not a heartbeat. I’d cut off all their limbs and then just let them bleed out to really make them suffer.” You looked at him again and couldn’t help the way the corners of your lips turned up. “The point is, I would feel the same way. I’d probably also cry if I thought about it too much. So no, it’s not stupid.” 

“I just- I feel so weak. And you probably need me to be strong right now after what you went through.” 

“I’ve made my peace with it… Mostly. And I didn’t come back because I needed you to be strong for me, I came back because without you, I don’t have anything. Being away from you was probably the worst part- and I know it was selfish of me to force myself back into your life and open old wounds but when have you ever known me to be selfless?” He chuckled lightly and you scoffed at his words. 

“You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met.” 

“That’s debatable. Point is, I just need you. Nothing else.” You gave him a small smile and snaked your hand around the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. When you almost immediately pulled away, he tried to chase your lips, making you chuckle breathlessly. 

“I love you, Jason Todd. More than anything.” The smile he gave you made your stomach flutter and your chest ache- you missed that smile so damn much. “Enough cheesy stuff. If you don’t put your cock in me right now I’m going to explode.” He barked out a laugh which just made your stomach flutter and chest ache even more. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said sarcastically, quickly throwing off his underwear and climbing back over you. The blunt head of his cock brushed your opening and you took in a sharp breath, waiting eagerly. He dragged the tip through your folds, coating it in your arousal and his spit, and you let out a low whine as you squirmed. 

“Please?” You pouted, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his hips. He didn’t respond. Instead, he applied more pressure until the head of his cock breached your hole, making your breath hitch. His brows furrowed as his mouth opened in a silent moan and he let his head hang down. 

“Jesus- fuck. Squeezing me so fuckin tight, baby, I’m not gonna last.” He said through a moan. To be fair, you didn't expect him to. You don’t know what he’s been doing since he escaped, but you figured it wasn’t having sex. 

“I don’t care. Please just fuck me, Jay, I need it.” You whined, making him let out what sounded like a whimper. 

“Keep talking like that and I’m gonna bust right fuckin now.” He gritted, opening his eyes to look at you. You did your best to hide your smirk as you purposefully clenched around his length, making his hips stutter forward, pushing in a little more.  When he saw your poorly concealed smirk, he narrowed his eyes. “You’re a fuckin tease, you know that?” 

“Yeah well I like seeing you blush like that.” You looked up at him through your lashes with a teasing glint in your eyes and he placed a hand on your neck. 

“You wanna keep teasing me and see what happens? Or do you want me to fuck you.” He asked, squeezing the sides of your neck lightly. When you huffed and looked away from him, you could practically feel his smirk. “That’s what I thought.” 

He moved his hips again, not stopping until he was completely buried inside you. You let out a ragged breath as you struggled to adjust to his size- honestly it felt like he was all the way up your stomach and you knew that he was. You knew that if you looked down, you’d be able to see where his cock was bulging your stomach. And you really fucking missed that feeling. 

“Now you’re speechless, huh?” He smirked. You glared at him, but it quickly softened as your face twisted in pleasure when he slowly started moving out. He dragged his cock back until only the tip was inside, then slowly forced it back in. You whined as he kept up the slow pace, but deep down you were a little grateful that he knew and respected the fact that you’d need some time to adjust, especially after all this time without it. 

He removed his hand, then suddenly dropped his head into your shoulder, kissing and biting the skin before moving up to your neck to suck the skin in his mouth, leaving even more marks. You couldn’t hold down the embarrassing sounds crawling up your throat, but they only spurred him on. His pace increased slightly and the first unexpected thrust knocked the breath out of you. 

“Missed you so fucking much.” He muttered against your skin. “Thought about you every day- about coming home to you… You kept me alive.” He whispered the last part hesitantly and you let out a choked sob from his words. You wished you could say the same, but you were under different circumstances. You lost the love of your life and if you’re being completely honest, there were parts of it where you truly wanted to die just to have a break from your emotions. 

“I love you.” Was all you could think of to say. He pulled back to look at you, thrusts never slowing. 

“I love you, sweetheart. More than you’ll ever know.” You pulled him down into another kiss, eagerly chasing his lips as the pace of his thrusts increased even more. He reached a hand down to your clit, making you release a muffled moan into his mouth before pulling back. 

“God- I’m not gonna last long either.” You said through a breath, feeling the knot in your stomach grow tighter. 

“I need you to come with me. Can you do that, princess?” He rasped, cupping your cheek again and moving his gaze back and forth between your eyes. You nodded with a whimper and he gave you a proud smile. “Good girl. Just gotta hold it a little longer, okay?” You let out a loud moan from his praise as your walls fluttered around his cock, making him hiss. But despite that, you did your best to hold it, wanting to come with him. 

It didn’t take him long before his thrusts were becoming erratic and frenzied, rutting into you as he desperately chased his orgasm. 

“Don’t pull out.” You whispered. You figured he wouldn’t since he said “come together,” but you wanted to be sure. 

“Fuck,” He choked out, hips snapping into you as he neared his orgasm. “I won’t, princess. Gonna fill you up nice and good- give you what you want. But you need to ask for it nicely.” His words were strained as he tried to stave off his incoming release. You wanted to whine and hide your face instead of saying it, but you were rapidly approaching the edge and you didn’t want to draw it out any longer. 

“Jay, please. Need you to fill me up- I need it so bad.” Your whine turned into a sob as you clenched down on him again. 

“Good girl. Good fucking girl. You ready?” You nodded eagerly, trying to hold it until he actually gave you the word. Only a few thrusts later, he choked out, “Come with me, baby. Come now.” That was all you needed to let the knot of arousal in your stomach snap. His lips pressed to yours, muffling your cries and moans as his hips stuttered to a stop, now only bucking forward sporadically, trying to bury his length impossibly deeper inside of you. Using your legs and arms, you pulled his body completely against yours as you savored the feeling of his cock twitching inside you, filling you up. 

When he pulled away, you both were panting, trying to catch your breath. He rolled you over again, never removing his cock, and had you lay on top of him completely, letting you rest your head on his chest. 

“I love you.” He murmured, planting a kiss on the top of your head. 

“I love you.” You responded, in the same tone, then placed a kiss on his chest. You could see some of his scars with the way you were laying, so you let your eyes fall shut, but even then, you didn’t think of it. For the first time in years, you just felt truly content. So content that your brain was satisfied not knowing what happened. You just prayed it stayed like that and wasn’t only because of postcoital bliss. 

When he brought a hand up to run through your hair, you snuggled into his chest even more and kissed him again, before letting yourself relax completely. 

Chapter three

fic timeline

———

Tag list

@igotanidea @clairacassidy @phoenixgurl030 @halleest @emmerskiri @randomgurl2326

[jayladfanpage]

OPENED the first page of Robin lives #3 and just EXPERIENCED EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

fuCK. LIKE. GENUINELY. FUCK. going to consume raw bismuth rn im sobbubg I had hopes after they showed Shelia and just F U C KKKKKKKKKKK

I think writers forget so much of what made adtif adtif and what made Robin Jason Robin Jason. that boy was willing to give up Robin at that point for just a loving family? The issues that led to adtif? WHAT ABOUT HIS whole struggle and issues with being robin itself? what are we even doing here. Nothing is addressed. Instead we get fucking revenge story after revenge story I'm going to implode die. now I feel stupid about waiting for it. I'm half incomprehensible about most of the things I HATED. DICK. What is he saying. God.

I miss u robin Jason, he was so much... a singular character... barr's run... starlin too to a degree... UGH. HIS CHARACTER THESIS IS LOVE ??? ON GOD I will consume 2 tons of pipebombs today fucking hell on god he barely gets dialog, he barely gets shit, I liked 1 panel and that s it im

Anyhow :D yippie ! Happy to see that you're here for fanon writers and all ! Super cool of you ! And your posts are vvv cool, much love ! Would love to hear your thoughts on Robin lives#3 :) <3

Anon you are so incredibly fucking real for this

Issue #3 is... such a fucking disappointment. Exactly like you said, already the first page makes my blood fucking BOIL.

There's a fundamental misunderstanding, in this issue, of where Red Hood!Jason's ideas of revenge come from. His obsession with Joker's death specifically isn't actually out of a need to have Joker dead, it's a need to prove to himself that Bruce loves him more than he loves his mission. Which is not true for Jason or any of Bruce's other children. Gotham will always come first.

So to have Jason go after Joker with the intent to kill him (and succeed at it!) is spitting in the face of all the complicated, messy familial ties that are at the core of UTRH, for the sake of some sense that Jason was always doomed to be the way he is as an adult.

Jason also doesn't feel good after killing people. He doesn't derive any pleasure from it. He's not disgusted by or ashamed of the things he's done, far from it, but to him the murders are just a means to an end. A task to complete if he wants to save Gotham in the way that Bruce isn't able to. Murdering people sure as fuck isn't the "best thing" to ever happen to him. What the fuck.

I also really hate this page. As much as I don't expect any teenager to fully "deal" with their trauma, because they're a teenager, Jason certainly wouldn't run from it. Jason is perhaps the most openly emotional Bat character, and that's always been one of his most important personality traits. He talks about his pain and his trauma, constantly and endlessly, because Jason benefits from communicating his emotions, even if he does it aggressively or explosively.

Plus, "paralyzed with fear" ?? Jason's fear response is FIGHT not freeze. It's never been freeze. Every time Jason is scared, as Robin or otherwise, he responds by picking a fight. He flings himself head-on to the thing that's making him afraid because god fucking damn it Jason has always been good at saving himself -- which is why he's so desperate to have Bruce kill Joker, so that somebody else will protect him for a change.

This plot I'm conflicted on. I've always hated Timmy Todd and always thought that Jason should have been Joker Junior instead. However, this was not the comic to do it in. Robin Lives should have been a comic about trauma and vulnerability and healing. Main Continuity already gives us the neverending loop of Jason's trauma, of how it keeps constantly getting worse and worse, and I wanted Robin Lives to have been different. I wanted it to grab me by the shoulders and say He could have been fine. Jason could have healed. If only things had been different, Jason Todd could have been good.

But it didn't. It's just another fucking Cheer storyline where we read about a child being "doomed from the beginning" and shifting the blame of Red Hood onto Jason for being a lost cause instead of acknowledging the greater context of Jason's death and revival and it's just. Ugh. It fucking sucks.

Also, Bruce would never say this about saving like a dozen children. "Bigger fish to fry" WHILE HE IS RESCUING BRAINWASHED CHILDREN? where is my Bruce Wayne and what did you do to him

About the fanon writers -- thank you! I always find the hate for them a little misplaced. There are dozens of canons across hundreds of comics and fanfiction as a medium is supposed to have a certain degree of separation from its source. I think a lot less people would be upset over "fanon" batfam fics if the writers understood better core traits of the characters. Fanfiction isn't about "Would [x] do this" it's about "How would [x] do this" and a lot of non-writers don't understand that and just think fanon is always horrible.

[sagaduwyrm]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think that even if Jason found out about the times Bruce and Dick tried to kill the Joker he wouldn't stop being angry that the man was still alive.

It's my understanding that Jason wants the Joker dead for two reasons. One, to prove that Dick and Bruce really did care for him as more than "a good soldier." Two, so that what happened to him can never happen to anyone else. Attempting to kill the Joker in a fit of fury does fulfill the first reason, but it completely defies the second.

One of the main reasons why Jason is upset when he finds out about Tim is that "nothing changed." There is still a preteen kid flying around in tight pants, and the Joker's still there to clip the birdies wings. Generally, Jason's anger is interpreted as being upset over being replaced, but his actions suggest another reading.

Jason's modus operandi in his early Red Hood days is to kill those who cross certain lines, not to avenge the dead, but to safeguard the living. His analysis goes like this:

A criminal shows themselves to be a danger to the people of Gotham

Arresting the criminal might allow for rehabilitation, but more likely than not they won't even make it to prison with how corrupt the Gotham judicial system is. Therefore, arresting the criminal will not stop them from hurting others.

If jail was an actual option, Jason might take it. But it isn't. So in order to stop this person from hurting others, the only certain solution is to kill them.

To Jason, Bruce's rule against killing inherently means he fails to protect other people. Bruce is only temporarily stopping the problem.

Batman's philosophy is the opposite of Joker's. While the mad clown claims that one bad day can turn anyone into him, Bruce believes that anyone can become a better person if given the chance. This philosophy inherently prevents his character from killing. The character of Jason Todd is designed to expose the weaknesses in this philosophy, namely that giving someone the chance to change also gives them the chance to stay the same and continue to put others in danger.

Jason finding out about the times Bruce and Dick tried to kill the Joker wouldn't change anything. In fact, it might make things worse. Bruce and Dick only tried to kill the Joker while half out of their minds in grief and fury, and once they calmed down they felt guilty and considered their actions to be wrong. As far as Jason is concerned, they shouldn't be killing Joker because of emotion, they should be killing him because it's the only logical, certain way to prevent the Joker from hurting anyone else the way he did the second Robin. Learning about the incidents in question would just emphasize their philosophical disagreements and leave Jason feeling like the Bats have failed him all over again.

[betustamorla]

(Updated 01-07) Arkham Batman Beta reader/editor/consultant wanted

Genre: Drama, family, romance, hurt/comfort, action, slight canon divergence (in ages of the characters mainly)

Main characters: Jason and Helena

Pairings: Jason Todd/Helena Wayne (past/future), Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Tim Drake/Barbara Gordon, Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle (past)

Summary: Batman left Gotham to his proteges, no one knows if he is still alive. It's up to them to pick up the pieces, help each other, and sort their lives before big trouble threatens Earth.

Estimated length: 90,000< words.

Progress: 60,000< words.

Plan of finishing the first draft: End of July. First chapter release plan date: 31 of October

First scene sample:

This Arkham Knight was very troublesome, he was as dangerous as Batman, no, he was more dangerous than Batman, he was ready to kill, even eager to. Huntress touched her side, and a stinging pain answered her, but nothing to worry about for now. Her breathing was accelerated, her senses wired thin, her gaze fixed on the man in front of her ready to respond at his slightest movement.

"Move aside." His modified voice seemed to hiss.

"Sorry, but I don't feel like it." Of course, she had to goad him more, as if things weren't hard enough already.

"My business is with the Bat." 

She felt slightly confused at his seeming reluctance to fight her, but she squashed it to the back of her mind until she could be in a safe environment to ruminate. "You're endangering a lot of people with this... business of yours. So no, I won't be moving any time soon." She said flatly.

"That's too bad." It seemed like she had reached the limit of his patience. He lunged again at her. She dodged and threw a kick to his abdomen, he blocked it with his elbow, by instinct she flipped back, it was the right thing for his fist to fly inches from her face.

Still, she knew she wouldn't win this fight, her strength lay in the careful preparation of traps and sigil of her prey, even if she was a good fighter she wasn't, well, Batman. Now that there was some distance between them she started shooting bolts towards his legs, he dodged those easily and shot his grappling gun toward the nearest building and pulled upwards.

"Oh no, you won't!" She quickly changed her bolt to an explosive one and shot to where the grappling gun had hooked. He fell again into the roof they were on, rolling to minimize the impact.

"Now you really pissed me off," He growled and charged towards her.

Again they danced in a mix of punches, kicks, and dodges before he finally gained the upper hand and slammed her against the floor, stars danced in her vision, and his hand wrapped around her neck, cutting her air supply. Helena struggled, but to no avail, as he was at least fifty pounds heavier than her, but she had tricks up her sleeve, in fact, very literally. When pulling her wrist upwards a high voltage discharge would shoot on whoever was the unfortunate recipient of its full power would end up knocked out, which in this case was the Arkham Knight. She wasn't surprised when after receiving the electrical hit, he backed off but did not faint, the armor probably was designed as hers; to withstand the worst of such dangers.

"You have some tricks don't you?" He laughed, and she didn't like the sound of it. "But I think you won't have one for this." He gripped her by the neck again and pulled out a vial, unluckily, Helena wasn't fast enough to move out of his reach. The glass shattered between his fingers, and the contents immediately volatilized and turned into a gas. She didn't have any other option but to breathe at least a little, but guessing what it was, she knew it was more than enough to make its nasty effect kick into work.

She was shoved back, falling into her back, coughing at the acrid taste the fear gas left, her heartbeat quickened when the faint blurred sound of a familiar melody started to ring in her ears followed by a voice she thought she would never hear again.

“Here again my dear Angel?” The honied voice seemed to whisper against her ear, then a chuckle, and there, looming over her was the white-masked figure with amber eyes.

“You’re dead.” She breathed and gritted her teeth.

“Of course. You killed me. Remember?” Then his hand reached for her chin and turned her face towards one side and her heart stopped and seemed to come to the back of her throat at the same time. There in a chair tied with barber wire was Jason.

“Help me!” 

“Stop. Stop. Stop.” 

“Just kill me already.”

“Jason!”

She nearly choked. Get a grip, Helena, this is a hallucination! She felt her suit starting to slow down her increasingly accelerating heart, she knew that the fear gas she had inhaled was but a small dose, and yet it was messing this much with her head even with the Bíos pumping through her system already. This new formula was very, very dangerous, the whispers of Jason still lingered in the background, sometimes interrupted by the explosion that was imprinted like a hot iron in her body and mind. 

Then she felt the burning sensation of electrical currents run through her body to counter the other poison in her veins, the burning sensation of it made her gasp. But now she was able to take a coherent look at her opponent, he hadn't taken this opening to attack her, to end her, making her believe again that he didn't want to kill her. He was just standing there, looking at her. The knight was tense as if waiting for something, she was completely clueless at what it could be but she would use this to her advantage.

~•~•~•~

Jason watched as the gas kicked into action and she crawled away, then her breath hitched and she shook her head. Whatever it was, she didn't want to hear, she clapped her hands to her ears and closed her eyes, it would be so easy to kill her now… To put the broken body of his daughter in front of him, would break him like nothing else, he was sure. But he couldn't even bring himself to lift his gun and point at her, he didn't want to kill her, she had been- What?

It didn't matter, he had better things to do. He turned and started to walk away when he heard her breath his name.

“Jason!”

He clenched his fists, they had abandoned him to that fucking clown, they had replaced him and she had left, forgotten completely about him. But something was pulling in him to go and shake her, to tell her he was right here, that he wasn't a damned nightmarish apparition. He took in a shaky breath and cocked his head to one side, stretching his neck; an anxious tick he had developed. That was enough to strengthen his resolve to keep going on, she was just a part of his past that would disappear along the Bat. Bringing her to Scarecrow and making Bruce see his only daughter be tortured by her worst fears would be even worse than death for him.

Jason turned to her again, she was silent now but her respiration was agitated, she was very still, which was odd for someone with fear gas in their system. He walked closer, pulling his gun out. Maybe he should just blow her head up and throw her dead body in front of her father. The echoing of laughter surged in the back of his mind and the scar on his face burned like the same day the hot iron had sizzled against his skin.

The illusion broke when Helena launched herself at him, he was so unprepared that he tripped and fell on his back with her on top of him.

“Don't you ever dare to do something like that again asshole!” She hissed and punched his helmet hard enough to make his vision rattle a little. How she had fought off the effects of the gas he had no idea nor was interested to know right now, he curled his arms and then threw her off him. She rolled like a fucking cat and pulled her whip out.

“Oh fuck.” He muttered as he rolled out of the way of the crackling weapon. Maybe she was tougher to get than he had originally believed, at least she was more so than his replacement. Jason knew that whip wasn't just any normal leather thing, it seemed to be made of some metallic alignment, as if on queue the whip came down again, he dodged again though not fast enough as it graced his armor over his shoulder and the fucking plate had been sliced a piece off. Fuck, if that thing could slice off part of his armor it probably could slice his arm off as well, no wonder she hadn't used it until now. The no-killing rule was just as strictly embedded in her as her father. That thought made his anger burst.

Why? Why did they refuse to do what was needed to protect? To save people from fuckers like the Joker? If only Batman had killed the Joker the first chance he got he wouldn't had-!

He snapped and lunged at her quick enough to avoid the arch of the crackling shit and barrelled into her, she flew back at least a couple of meters landing painfully on her back. Disoriented enough to become too slow to react in time to make space between them to gain the advantage of her weapons, which were long-ranged tools, up close Jason was completely in control. He took full advantage of it, he punched her in the gut making her double over even with the armor mitigating some of the power from the hit, he didn’t pause, consumed by the red haze that felt so good to let loose. He pulled her head down to connect with his rising knee, she probably would have passed out if not for the face-guard over her forehead and eyes, Jason hit her back with his elbow making her go down. 

She was wheezing for air.

“Is it hard to breathe? Don’t you feel like you’re drowning? Like some cold hand is closing around you and pulling every last bit of life in you?” He remembered how it felt, to be hit over and over again until you couldn’t even seem to make your lungs work.

She coughed and choked- No, she was laughing. She was laughing.

Had she gone mad?

“It’s not so bad, you know.” She gasped and spat at his feet.

All the burning anger seemed to die out, leaving an empty cold feeling. His arm seemed to move on its own, grasping her by the nape of her neck, he started to lift her and she struggled uselessly as she still was too winded to gather her strength or wits. They were at the edge of the ten-story department building, it was at least a 30-meter drop from there to the cold concrete below. Time seemed to freeze, he took in her smaller frame, she seemed so small and frail compared to him, she always had…

Jason! Will you wait for me?

Then he pushed her, the back of her legs hit the small barrier of the edge and then she was gone. He stood there a moment then he heard the sound of crashing metal meters underneath. His heart felt like it stopped for a second.

~•~•~•~

DM if interested/curious or repost/share if you think someone else might.

:)

Check some of my previous works

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Things I noticed the nth time watching Nimona:

Knight armour can get sliced through like nobody's business (Balister's arm), but can take a laser hit without serious, body-altering consequences (Director hitting Ambrosius with a laser made from the same one that apparently has the power to wipe out half the realm, or kill an Immortal being who doesn't feel severe pain from an arrow wound)?

...is this because Ambrosius' armour was made to be more protective than Balister's?

"She manipulated BOTH of us." Ambrosius says this about Nimona, who he had very few interactions with aside from her very blatantly fucking shit up for the institute. How did she manipulate HIM?

I guess it probably makes sense when you consider he was going to arrest the director, implying that he believed Bal AND Nimona, but I dunno. The little rat in my head started running on its brain-powering wheel at all the possible fanfic plots this could lead to.

Nimona as Ambrosius grabbed the Gloreth statue when they fell to the ground.

On the one hand, this could just be actor!Nimona putting dramatic emphasis on how even in death, the leaders of the realm will cling to their hopes and beliefs, or the golden boy finally getting to join his ancestor.

On the other hand, we could make it deliciously angsty (yum yum) and say it is Nimona's personal desire to grab the statue of Gloreth for reasons such as: taking down the monster-killer image of her former friend out of anger and sadness because she never wanted that image to be so true in representing one of the few people who ever cared about her even briefly;

OR, While trying to think about how she would act if she were actually dying, she reaches for the closest thing to a friend that she has, but this is her staging a false death, as that particular friendship was false so this is just fitting, isn't it?;

OR, They wanted it to spread a message that with the fall of the director, would come the fall of the corrupt system they live in, as well as the fall of this narrow-minded view of both Nimona and Gloreth's story as well as Gloreth and Nimona themselves.

Nimona freaking out about the arrow in their leg in the comic vs Nimona treating it like a little scrape not to be worried about in the movie.

This is really interesting to me. In the comic, it's played up for humor like Nimona is almost overreacting, then having Bal take care of her because he does care about her. This shows it as a bit silly, but so very meaningful.

Then you have the movie where Balister is freaking out and it's kind of funny because clearly Nimona is relatively fine about it, so he doesn't really need to make a big deal out of it. Then he helps her and is still very careful about it like with anyone else's arrow wound, and asks her questions so he can better understand them. Again so very important.

I love both versions of these scenes, I just am so curious about why they made such a drastic change.

I love this movie so freaking much. (I knew that already, but it bears saying for the thousandth time. It's just so fucking good.)

For this last one:

TW: mention of police brutality (discussed as a theme in the movie, nothing specific outside of the Nimona movie)

"He's got a weapon." It's not a weapon. It's a phone. But Todd (and who knows how many of the other knights) didn't choose to see it as anything other than what the director told him it was, and destroyed it as he was trained to do. This screams messaging about the stupid, dangerous, and harmful actions of too many police officers who don't check the situation for themselves before acting on "information" they gathered from insufficient data and/or unreliable sources, and combine that with profiling to make decisions that so often end up being harmful and even fatal to others.

[nastyboker]

The ghost and Molly McGee opinion (HUGE spoilers)

For some reason I have a strong desire to share my opinion on the finale of this show even though the whole thing was okay-ish.

First of all, Scratch is a blast and I love the grumpy adult learning how to be happy from a cheerful kid. Since season 1 I realised that Scratch was never dead, just so unhappy with his life he literally lost his spirit. Well that's the okay-ish part.

I really don't see much chemistry between Scratch and Molly. Molly is too much in the centre of everything even for a protagonist. She did impossible things multiple times with no explanation and Scratch was just a comic relief most of the time even though his character development was crucial. Unlike Molly, Libby and Darryl look much more organic with Scratch: they understand each other better on an emotional level. So, like I said, I love the trope but I feel like it could've been done better.

I don't get it, why would the whole Brighton's misery was the responsibility of the only guy that didn't even die properly? Did they just steal him from his childhood home and told him to mess with the whole town? Okay maybe he volunteered to do it just because he had nothing else to do but still what's the point of all that ghoul bureaucracy if they don't keep tracking deaths? Didn't other people die in Brighton?

But the thing that buggs me the most is that Scratch never really wanted to travel but he felt guilty as if he should've been traveling, because his traveling friend was awaiting for his company. And nobody ever told Scratch that It's okay for friends to go separate ways and one can live a happy life even staying at his hometown for all their life. Moreover, it was McGee's dream to have a "forever home" and stop moving. They really could show Scratch that his life was just as great as his friend's life and he just needed to look at it from a different perspective and probably meet some new loyal people.

Imho, I feel that Scratch already changed his attitude to the point he doesn't want to live up to anyone's expectations so all that is left is a validation of his needs and appreciation towards his life in Brighton that became a really nice town to live in. He could visit his childhood house and befriend McGees again telling them the stories about it.

Heck, he could even become a new mayor! I know he hates paperwork but their current mayor does seem to have much less of paper problem than dead people have, so why not? I vote for Todd "Scratch" Mortenson!

Or he could just take random gigs with Sharon and then open his own small restaurant biz, maybe probably. He could start sending videos about his life in Brighton to his childhood friend and she would come visit him, idk, the options are infinite!

Anyway, the show is okay but it could be much better written. Also I love the title The Curse of Molly McGee better.

[bluepeachstudios]

GitS Asks!

The boys still have some growing up to do! Nothing but Truffle happens like it does in canon, Ghost is just there for the aftermath. He doesn't really like his kids hanging out with someone he doesn't know very well, but he also doesn't want to talk to Todd, so--

@sam-the-friendly-ghost

Ghost's "again" tactic was one he learned from his dad, where Splinter would let (usually Raph) rant about something, get the anger out, and then Splinter would say, "now try to tell me that again." and it would change slightly. For Ghost and Donnie, it became, "I know you aren't saying what you really mean. I know you have a hard time saying it. Try again. I'll be patient. I can wait for you to figure it out." It gives Donnie the chance to mess up his words without judgement, to figure out his own feelings, and figure out how to vocalize those feelings.

I concur with this, 03 Don's power scaling is much higher in the "ninja" range and much lower in the "mystic" range, although that changes depending on if he was in season 5 or not. I agree my headcanon for the Rise boy is that they can take much harder hits without really even feeling it.

Fresh Ghost(tm)'s reactions to the beginning of the show would be a lot of "oh my god how have you lived this long without getting captured by someone". While the end of the show he's more like "OH MY GOD HOW HAVE YOU NOT ACCIDENTALLY KILLED SOMEONE OR EACH OTHER".

Either way I think he'd find them pretty cool.

Yup! They play it regularly as a training game. Ghost notices they train better when it's framed as a game, so this one is focused on stealth. So far no one has found Ghost yet.

Ghost has a different outlook on "bushido", which is a samurai code and not a ninja one. Splinter adopts and adapts it to teach his sons the concept of honor while still remaining capable of performing necessary duties to keep themselves safe. Ghost probably doesn't even call it that, as it's very incorrect.

Ghost considers it morality, and while he does teach the kids the concept of honor, he doesn't believe it's worth more than your life. His morality has changed since he's been separated from his brothers. He won't lose his kids because of a silly thing like honor.

Nope! Raph already has Ghost as a sparring partner, he doesn't need another.

[goldenheart-supremacy]

More Twin!AU things

✧Ambrosius and Todd actually knew each other since Pre-K because they were enrolled to the same prestige school.

✧They weren't really friends, weren't really enemies. They just co-existed.

✧Todd did think it was pretty cool he shared the same birthday with the son of the School director.

✧Then, the owner of the school [Modern Queen Valerin] adopted two children; Ballister and Nimona.

✧Nimona was still very young, so she mostly stayed with her new mother in her office. Valerin basically goes: "Yes, I can do my work efficiently while looking after my baby all at the same time, who do I think I am?"

✧Most of the students didn't like Ballister, but Ambrosius didn't like seeing the new kid all alone so he played with him at the sand box.

✧At first, he was just being nice.

✧He ended up really liking Ballister more than any of the other kids. New best friend.

✧Todd made fun of Ballister once, and that was the end of neutrality.

✧Ballister had to be Ambrosius's impulse control from then on.

✧When Ambrosius would come over the Boldheart household for a play date, Nimona would throw her baby toys at Ambrosius every chance she got.

✧It took a year for her to grow into liking Ambrosius.

✧Flash forward to the future.

✧For a Junior high school moving up to High school trip [So this happens in Summer vacation], Ambrosius and Todd finds out they were twins.]

✧It was due to an accident that required Todd a blood transfusion, but his blood type is very rare. It was one of those things were it was usually only family or relatives who could share the blood type.

✧Rudy Sureblade didn't have it though nor did he have any living relatives anymore, and he really didn't want to contact his ex-wife to check if she had it. It was a last resort idea for him. He checked if they could find someone.

✧Amazingly enough, they found out Ambrosius had it.

✧He still didn't like him, but Ambrosius isn't a monster so he was willing to donate blood.

✧They checked first to see if it was safe to do so with some lab test then BAM "You two are actually brothers."

✧Considering they also had the same birthday based on the hospital records, they put two and two together that they were twins.

✧Ambrosius had to dumb down the explanation to Todd how there was such a thing as fraternal twins.

✧The Director of the School and Rudy Sureblade told the hospital to uphold their patient confidentiality policy and keep this hush-hush.

✧Neither Ambrosius and Todd wanted word to spread that they're related to.

✧Rudy and Todd's relationship had already been lukewarm, so nothing really changed after the revelation except that Todd is more distrustful of his father now.

✧As long as Todd did whatever a student should be doing, and kept out of legal trouble, he could live and let live.

✧While his relationship with his mother wasn't exactly a warm one, Ambrosius did have some amount of respect for his mother since she did raise him on his own... Sort of. If leaving a secretary or whoever every now and then to attend important school events when he was growing up, whenever she was too busy, counted as raising him on her own.

✧Although ever the dutiful child, Ambrosius did accept that her job was important.

✧After finding out she kept a secret as big as him having a twin from him, he started questioning things.

✧Some point in freshmen year, both Ambrosius and Todd kinda felt getting disowned was better than being around their mostly absent parents.

✧Todd would still poke fun at Ambrosius and Ballister, especially when they started dating in high school.

✧Then enters Aerin Shieldstone in the middle of Freshmen year, and Todd is half the word of 'homophobic.'

✧The first half of it.

✧So Todd kinda goes up to Ambrosius one day, and the conversation kinda goes...

That's all... For now.

Todd: Okay, I'm accepting you as my twin brother now because I really need a brother right now. Specifically, a gay brother.

Ambrosius:

Ambrosius: First, what the fuck. Second, why the fuck?

Todd: How do I ask a guy out?

Ambrosius:

Ballister: I'm guessing third is going back to 'what the fuck?'

Ambrosius: More like 'who the fuck is the unlucky guy?'

[simpforfandoms]

Would they be a soldier, poet, or king?

masterlist

no one asked for this but I need to get this out of my head this is just the 4 most popular batboys but trust me when I say I got love for Duke, Luke, Cullen, etc. too.

Dick Grayson: probably a unpopular opinion but I think Dick would be soldier. The way I see it a soldier is someone who is filled with rage but not necessarily consumed by it. A soldier is someone who will continue fighting not because they want to, but because it’s all they’ve ever known. They crave that familiarity. There are many times in canon where we can see Dick’s anger but he doesn’t let it consume him. Yes there’s times where all he can feel is anger but he uses that to fight. Dick has been Robin since he was like 10. It’s all he really knows. He’s been a vigilante longer than he knew his parents. He knows he can stop at any time, but he doesn’t. He might not want to, but he feels that obligation. No matter how much he wants to stop he won’t. He dreams of a life where he can settle down, but he knows that will never happen. Dick will never stop fighting, and that’s what makes him a soldier.

Damian Wayne: A king is someone who has had their destiny written long before they were alive. A king is someone who was told to do things and they did. A king is someone who often wonders who they would be if they didn’t have all those responsibilities. Damian fits this perfectly. His fate was decided at a very young age. He was to be the heir of the Al Ghul throne. However, when he met Bruce his fate changed. He was now expected to be the next Batman. To be the perfect little robin. A little part of Damian expected it of himself to. Which is the saddest part. He feels that he’ll always have to be responsible for something because he doesn’t know who he is without it. The ideology that if he wasn’t fulfilling something for someone he wasn’t worth anything was installed to him at a very young age. He carried that thought with him everywhere. He is nothing without duty. So he continues his life trying to live up to everyone’s expectations never once trying to live for him. He only knows how to exist when he is needed. Damian Wayne is a king.

Jason Todd: Probably another unpopular opinion but Jason Todd is a poet. If we think in it in a more literal sense, his pain is literally for others entertainment. I mean poets often use their pain to create entertainment. Jason Todd’s death was and is still used as a punchline and entertainment. In a more metaphorical sense, Jason Todd needs his pain to mean something. He needs it to make a difference, because if it doesn’t what was it all for? That’s why he’s Red Hood. That’s why he doesn’t agree with Batman’s no kill rule. While all the pain and hurt are eating him up from the inside, Jason doesn’t want it to go away. Truth is, he loves the pain. He wants to live it. He wants to be reminded of all the trauma so he has a reason to do what he does. Because he has to have the pain mean something. He convinces himself that his pain is beautiful meaningful art. Which maybe it is.

Tim Drake: Maybe yet another unpopular opinion, but Tim is a soldier. He’s filled of rage. No one really knows why, but if I had to guess a large factor is probably due to his dads death. But the fury had been around since he was child. He does a good job of hiding it though. He burries it deep inside. He decided that his anger needed to be his biggest weapon. Anger is hideous if it righteous, so he used it to fight. He’s been fighting for as long as he can remember. He fought to become robin. He fought to be taken seriously. He fought his own voices in his head. Tim Drake is fighter. Like Dick, he wants to stop fighting but he can’t. It’s almost like it’s an addiction. It’s like he’s dependent on the fight. He won’t stop fighting til all his rage is released. Which lets be for real, might be a while.

[philhoffman]

Phil as Gene in The Author's Voice, a 1999 Drama Dept. production of David Greenberg one-act play at the Greenwich House Theater.

Interesting little play—Gene is a "horribly twisted gnome" with a talent for writing. He lives in the closet and ghostwrites for Todd, the handsome but dull guy who serves as the public face of their secret partnership. "The world outside might be a painful place but every place is a painful one, so why not?" "Make me famous, Gene. I want to be famous. People will photograph me and write about me. I'll study how they see me and live inside it. It'll be like a home."

It received some mixed reviews, mostly due to the direction, but most critics praised PSH's performance: "Hoffman is a treat as the sly kvetch of a recluse whose machinations supply both laughs and a neat twist of an ending." This critique, though, is kind of hilariously prescient considering the role Phil would take a few years later:

Part of the problem is that Mr. Hoffman, who has created memorable portraits of more pedestrian losers in films like Boogie Nights and Happiness, simply isn't repellent enough, suggesting nothing more threatening than Truman Capote in a hooded sweatshirt.

The actor James Urbaniak auditioned for the same role and wrote a really nice article about the experience/PSH's performance in 2014:

Philip Seymour Hoffman enters. He is on the floor, crawling. Army style. Pulling his weight towards the desk. It takes time. His breathing is labored. The energy in the theater has changed. You can feel the audience adapting to the force that has just been introduced. The force emanating from a prone man pulling his big body across a small off-Broadway stage. He’s a big man and his presence is big, theatrical. But also subtle, inward. It rings true. This silent entrance contains a physical intensity and emotional depth that is nowhere near what I had done in my audition. And I am struck by the alarming realization that it’s highly unlikely I ever would have gotten there.

More info on this production is hard to come by, but the reason I read the play and decided to post about it today is a tweet I saw earlier. The thread was about method acting and how it can be done well, effectively, and kindly—without abusing other actors, crew, or anyone else:

Years ago, when I was an intern at the NYC theater company Drama Dept., Philip Seymour Hoffman starred in a play there. He introduced himself to each member of staff and told us, "I'm method, so please tell me if you are ever uncomfortable and I will break character." [He] was a pro.

One of my favorite little Phil stories I've read ❤️

[magicofrobin]

lyric analysis of wide eyes by badflower and how it fits jason todd's vibes. long post incoming. (tw: implied/referenced sa, character death)

starting with the pre-chorus and chorus rather than the lyrics from the verses because these are the most easy to understand.

PRE-CHORUS ANALYSIS.

my innocence was taken / i'll never be that boy again

the first line is the loss of his childhood. unlike other children he witness violence and addiction at home, as well as around his neighborhood. he took care of his mother and slowly watched her die because of her "illness". he lived on the streets after losing both of his parents (the grief for his mother was like a knife, the space where his father used to be was filled with relief). jason wasn't allowed to be a child, he grew up too fast because he had to. it was the only way for him to stay safe. for so long he lost that childlike innocence that tells you that the world is good and your parents will always love and protect you. he saw the world through the eyes of an adult when he shouldn't have had to; in an ideal world someone would've shielded him from this. from all of it.

it can also be used in the same context as the song, which has been interpreted as being about sa. in that sense his innocence was taken when talia manipulated him and brought him into her bed when he was under her care. in that sense it was about the blurred out faces and half remembered hands from his childhood.

the second line, to me, is about his death. he's not going to be who he was before, no matter how much he wants to. he can't go back. he's changed too much to be that boy anymore. he doesn't even view that boy as him anymore, it's easier to think of robin as someone else, as a ghost, than it is to admit it's him. jason todd and robin might be one and the same in reality but not through the lens of his trauma. this can even be seen in canon, when he's reliving his death and disassociating. he sees himself at fifteen, dying on the warehouse floor, being between to death, and he calls him robin, not jason. because it isn't him, not really.

i guess i'm only speculating / but there's no use in hearing the truth from a liar

this one is less specific but to me, it's about how he feels like the other bats don't trust him. mainly how bruce doesn't trust him. it feels like no matter what he says or how much he works with them, there will always be the sense that none of them trust him. if he says he won't kill then he's lying. if he says he's fine he's lying.

he has lied before. many times in fact. that was what red hood was in the beginning, a lie spun to hide his identity until he was ready.

CHORUS ANALYSIS.

true was the bride at the turn of our time

in the song the bride is referring to the catholic church, with that context, i think this line for jason's character is a bit hard to interpret.

but to me, it feels like it's about bruce's crusade and his time as robin. things were good and he believed in everything bruce stood for when he was robin. after his death nothing is the same, least of all him. he no longer believes in batman or his methods, the life he lived under bruce's roof is no longer true, it hasn't been since he ended up in that warehouse. it's almost like a loss of faith.

holding my, holding my / holding my life in your body

this one is obvious & not so obvious. there's different things it could mean but the most in your face one is: bruce finding his son's body in the wreckage and holding him, wishing that jason would open his eyes. it's so reminiscent of the every image of bruce finding his son in death in the family; jason’s limp body in his arms, him the picture of the devastated father.

its batman protecting his robin when they're out on patrol. jason's full trust in his dad to keep him safe. every night out as robin was a risk and bruce was always there beside him, pulling him back when it was too dangerous or picking him up when he was too hurt or too tired to carry on.

its jason holding a gun to the joker's head and demanding his dad make a choice: him or his murderer? one of them was going to die there and it was all in bruce's hands, whether he wanted it or not.

it was the way the batarang sliced his throat and sent him stumbling, releasing his murderer so he can grasp at his throat. a timer is about to go off and he's trying to stop the bleeding. this was his dad holding his life in his hands and choosing wrong. this was jason keeping himself alive, the only person he could depend on anymore.

in a meta sense it's the poll that killed him. his life hinged on the votes of fans. he would live or die based on whatever they called in and said. they held his life in their hands and voted against him. voted to see him dead. voted to see batman's world shatter with the loss of a child. they could've saved him.

i bottled up the pieces of the lie, of the lie

it's about putting his past behind him, or trying to. it's the distance between him and the rest of the bats. he's not part of them and his time with bruce was a lie, it wasn't real, that wasn't his family. he thinks he knows that now. he was replaced, they're happier without him. so he keeps his distance and he keeps all those feelings inside until they spill out and he's confronting a bat and it gets explosive. because he does want to be part of the family, he wants his old life back even if he can't have it.

its about all the things talia told him while he was healing and training. the whispered half truths that she used to manipulate him, so he would become a more willing pawn. she told him about tim and twisted it, told him that bruce never loved him, didn't even miss him. jason's body had barely been in ground before a new kid was going out in the colors that killed him. she doesnt tell him how his dad was self destructing, how tim thought he had to step in to keep bruce alive, how tim was just a kid taking responsibility for a man so lost in his grief he took it out on the world. she tells him how his death has gone unavenged because no one cared enough about him to avenge him.

she doesn't tell him how his dad almost killed the joker, he would've too. he was going to put his rules behind him and rid the world of his son's murderer. but superman stopped him (there might have been valid reasons but does it really matter?). she doesn't tell him how dick wanted the joker dead as soon as he heard about jason's death, how fucking outraged he was that bruce was letting him sit in arkham instead of six feet under. she doesn't tell him how dick beat the joker to death for him and tim and barbara and the only reason he's still alive is because bruce brought him back. she doesn't tell him that he was loved.

everything she's says is lies wrapped up in a thin layer of truth and he takes it as gospel because why would she lie to him? she's in charge of him, she saved him.. right? she should have no reason to lie to him.

who am i, who am i / to ever love you with wide eyes?

so much of this song is about his relationship with his dad and how it's changed since he came back to life. he's not the same kid he was, he's angry and wrong and he hates bruce for replacing him and for letting his murderer go on living. there should be no love left for him to give. but there is. there's enough left that it has him coming when his family calls and agreeing to nonlethal methods, anything to make his dad happy, to make his dad love him.

jason doesn't feel like he deserves to love anyone, least of all the family he doesn't fit into. he's the extra puzzle piece, one that came from another box and was so obviously out of place there was no mistaking it as part of the bigger picture. just like jason is with the family.

this line is him quite literally asking himself if he's allowed to love bruce now that he's broken all the rules. is he allowed to still think of him as his dad and want his love if he's not part of the family anymore, if he's not robin anymore.

going into the verses now, this part might be more select lines rather than the entire verse. we shall see.

VERSE ONE.

my love was only temporary / i aged, but kept the memory / and still it makes me shiver cold

this is all about losing the two most important parental relationships he's ever had and how it'll never stop being an open wound.

he had three years as robin, as bruce wayne's son, he knew it wouldn't last forever. he was so loved during those years, he wanted it to be forever, he wanted to know what it was like to grow up happy. but he died and he lost it. to him, the love he experienced then died with him. and now, as red hood, he knows it has. all he has left is memories of a time when he was happier and it's mostly his fault. it keeps him up some nights, nights where he's alone and nightmares won't let him sleep and he wakes up in a cold sweat wishing he could slip out of bed and walk the hall to his dad's room, seeking out comfort like he used to.

it's losing catherine when he was so young. it's the constant desire for more time with his mom that he'll never get to have. no matter how old he gets he'll always be that little boy shivering and laying beside his mom, hoping she'll wake up.

if i really wanted to, i could also tie it back to talia honestly. she made him feel loved so she could mold him into a pawn and then she betrayed him in the worst possible way. jason will never forget what she did and she will star in those nightmares that wake him up at night.

theres no place to hide the past we bury / so like the virgin mary / she lied to save the family

for the most part the latter part of this line is about catherine to me. it references how she tried to shield jason from the worst of things. she told him she was sick, not an addict. her drugs of choice were medicine to make her better, not the things actively killing her. she lied to him to spare him, to save him.

the first line is pretty on the nose to me. try as he might jason will never be able to run from his past – whether that's being robin or living on the street or being raised in an abusive household or his time spent with the league. nothing is gonna be able to hide it. even six feet of dirt wasn't enough for him to be rid of it.

VERSE TWO.

i am the dust behind the window / the darkness in the shadow / the stain under the pillow

the most standout line here is the darkness in the shadow because that's what he is, isn't it? he's the dark spot on the otherwise clean history of robin. (it means nothing that every robin has had their problems, none of them are innocent, but jason will bear the curse of that alone.) and when he was first starting as red hood, he was hiding in the dark and going through with his plan for revenge. no one knew, or could've known, that jason was back in gotham. he should've been dead, he should've been a ghost.

the first line is referring to his memorial in the cave. the suit he died in – that should've been destroyed, it never should've been kept, it just like robin should've ended with jason – is displayed behind glass. the suit is all that's left of a ghost.

and i'll be the perfect silent witness

this is a bit more of a loose interpretation than some of the other parts but this to me would be referencing the deal he makes with bruce about not killing in gotham. his attempts to repent and be the son bruce wants again.

i stink from all the bullshit / so feed me and i'll hold my tongue

the first part of this is similar to some of the things i've written about jason's internal monologue. where he's thinking about how he's not able to rid himself of where he grew up, like his neighborhood left a permanent stain on him. it's something he felt most intensely when he was attending gotham academy. he felt like the students and the teachers could smell the stink of crime alley on him, that they knew he was not from the same kind of people, that he was only there by chance – not by birth.

finally to finish up, here's the bridge which is so so fucking fitting.

BRIDGE.

rage! / i'm the bad guy, i'm the bad guy / i'm the cynical kid, i'm the rage

this is red hood. this is all red hood is. all of jason's anger wrapped up in a neat little bow and hidden under that helmet of his. he makes himself the villain in the family. he kills people even though he knows it breaks his dad's number one rule and it'll make it so he can never be part of that family again.

he comes back so disillusioned to bruce's methods because he knows! they don't work! gotham is still just as bad as ever! there's no way the city will ever get better if someone doesn't start cleaning up the streets and laying down rules and getting rid of the worst of the worst. which is what jason does.

as a kid he wasn't full of so much doubt. he genuinely believed he was making a difference but now he knows better.

i'm the big lie / i'm the goddamn shame of the goddamn pride!

jason todd was the good soldier! the plaque on his memorial says so! but that isn't true now is it? no, jason was the soldier who wouldn't listen in the end, who turned his back on the cause when he was shown the truth.

he was the angry one, wasn't he? that's what everyone wants to believe.

jason todd the good soldier. jason todd the angry robin. the robin who was always destined to go down the wrong path. it's true because bruce said it, isn't it?

his past is all hidden behind the lies of a man he still calls dad. he warps the memory of a dead boy to suit his needs, ignoring the truth of jason's life because it makes his death easier to deal with. it makes his return and his crimes easier to deal with.

because he's batman's greatest failure. his soldier, his fault.

he's the bat that makes them all look bad. he wears their symbol and he kills people. he thinks he's something that they're all ashamed of (and maybe they are. maybe he deserves that for what he's done.)

rage! / i'm the bad guy, i'm the nice try / i'm the typical bitch with the rage on my face!

pretty much the same as the first part of the bridge but i want to focus on the i'm the nice try part. because i feel like it reflects thoughts on his life and death. his time as robin was cut short but he did good during it, didn't he? he helped the people of gotham and he did so much good but it wasn't enough.

and then his death! it didn't stick! his resurrection is basically the universe's way of saying nice try! not even death could stop jason todd.

i'm the goddamn beast of the goddamn pride!

this!

jason is the member of the batfamily that's willing to go further, he's capable and ready to kill if it means protecting his city and his family. he's the violent one now and he accepts it. that's his role in the family now.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Honor in Crisis

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, NTT, Titans, JLI, Arrowfam, Flashfam, GL Corps, Infinity Inc

Summary: Every chapter will focus on one character specifically and then I'll update their statuses in order.

This is a no powers au/fix-it fic for Heroes in Crisis. I wanted to focus on the characters and their healing. I decided that'd be easier to put some of these characters in a fic like this and work on it more from a real-world perspective. I DO want to say that I do not believe healing is linear so don't plan on a clear-cut happy ending. I'd say (and idk for sure) we're gonna eventually get a bittersweet ending for certain characters but nothing tragic.

Chapters: 9/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Kole Weathers, Lilith Clay, Eddie Bloomberg, Michael Carter, Michelle Carter, Rani Carter, Grant Emerson, Roy Harper, Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Thaddeus Thawne, Bart Allen, Helen Claiborne, President Thawne, Todd Rice, Alan Scott (DCU), Damon Matthews

Relationship(s): Damon Matthews/Todd Rice

Additional Tags: No Powers AU, Canon Divergent AU, Fix-It Fic, Angst

Chapter Nine: Proxy (Todd Rice)

It took nearly a month to adjust to the new medication, and things were finally starting to feel right again. Todd stood in the hallway, messing with his hair. It was an important day for him. He was deemed lucid enough to sit through an entire visit. A crucial visit, where he'd possibly have to discuss future care options with his family. He wasn't sure if his father would show up, so he was entirely convinced it'd be Jennie-Lynn. It had to be her. She showed up for everything. Unless she lost hope in him. It was entirely possible that no one would show up, and he'd be alone. He felt a wave of anxiety wash over him as he realized he might have to choose a power of attorney. That is if Alan shows up and decides to fight Jennie-Lynn for it. He didn't want to put that responsibility in his sister's hands. He adored her, and he didn't want the dynamics of their relationship to change. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. He didn't want her to deal with all the emotions accompanying making the hard decisions. Todd didn't want her in a position where their closeness could be jeopardized. Part of him hoped that no one would show up.

Todd's hand reached for the doorknob automatically, but he caught himself. What was on the other side of that door? Tough decisions? Judgment? Even worse, Damon? Would Damon come and have to discuss the ugliest parts of Todd's life and how they'd move forward from there? He didn't want their relationship to be overshadowed by Damon taking the role of a caretaker. Todd feared that there was no way of winning once Todd faced the person on the other side of that door. He barely managed to suck in a deep breath when his therapist, Ellie, opened the door.

Ellie was a rugged, ruddy woman with small, expressive eyes and a murky Southern Louisianian accent. She was short and frail-looking as if breathing was laborious, but something about her was comforting, maybe even charming. Ellie was more human than a doctor. It showed in her fierce passion for helping people. "Now I know you ain't gon' stand out there all day avoidin' my hospitality, Mr. Rice," Ellie scolded him playfully. Todd rubbed the back of his neck and followed her in.

He locked eyes with Alan, who looked like he hadn't slept in days, and wondered why Jennie-Lynn wasn't there. It had to be her. She had to have made him show up. Right? Todd couldn't move, let alone speak. He never thought Alan would show up. Not really, anyway. "You were probably expecting, Jennie-Lynn... I convinced her to let me do this. I needed to do this for you," Alan explained. Todd nodded, slowly, cautiously. He and Alan rarely ever had tough conversations. Todd didn't necessarily live up to what Alan expected, while Jennie-Lynn was the missing piece of his perfect family puzzle. It was the same for Todd, but he expected Alan to be more of an adult than he was about things. They were like oil and water. But, God, if it didn't feel like a relief to have him there. "You can sit down with me. I won't bite," Alan joked. Todd cracked a smile and sat next to him.

Alan raised his arm, startling Todd, who wasn't expecting anything past a friendly smile, and Todd flinched away. Alan fought the urge to give up and put his walls back up. He held up a hand of reassurance. "Can I hug you?" Alan asked. Todd swallowed hard and nodded. Alan wrapped his arms around Todd, and Todd hugged him back. Alan was warm, so warm it almost made Todd forget how nervous he was. Todd held on tight to his father and took a deep breath.

Once Todd moved himself to let go, he laughed uncomfortably. "Thanks for coming," Todd whispered.

Ellie sat on her desk and clasped her hands before handing Todd and Alan a small stack of paperwork. "Have you had the chance to talk with Dad-? Alan?" Ellie asked for clarification.

"Dad," Todd replied.

"Have you had the chance to talk with Dad about your concerns with entering outpatient?" Ellie questioned. Todd messed with his hair and looked down at his feet.

"I've never had a healthcare proxy before... And I didn't want it to be Jennie-Lynn or Damon... I didn't want to put them in that position," Todd replied. Alan read through the paperwork and nodded.

"Well, I could do it... But I want to make sure I know what you want," Alan replied. Todd was amazed at the types of questions Alan asked and how deliberate he was in his wording. Alan was thorough and patient as they went back and forth, discussing difficult questions. It wasn't anything like Todd imagined.

"Sounds like you've done this before," Ellie replied. Alan took a deep breath and frowned.

"I was married before... To Todd's birth mother," Alan explained.

"So, there's a family history?" Ellie asked.

Todd and Alan nodded. Rose was a bit of a sore spot for Alan, and Todd always wondered if he was ashamed of her. Because that would mean Alan was ashamed of him. "I was out of my depths back then. I was so caught up in my struggles that I didn't notice what Rose was going through. I didn't want to mess up this time... That's why I convinced Jennie-Lynn to sit this one out... I wasn't there as much as I should've been for Todd, and I had to realize a lot of my avoidance came from fear. I was afraid I'd make things worse," Alan confessed. Todd reached for Alan's hand and squeezed it.

"I got to breathe today... I finally got to breathe today... Because you volunteered to do what I needed you to do. I didn't even have to ask," Todd reassured him, "And you came for me."

Alan smiled with tears in his eyes. "I wish I'd figured this out sooner," Alan replied as he looked into Todd's eyes.

"What matters is you figured it out now," Todd comforted, "Time's up today, isn't it?"

Ellie nodded. "I'm afraid so," Ellie replied.

Todd stood up, and Alan rose to his feet as well. They stood facing each other for a while before Alan placed a steadying hand on his son's neck. Todd nodded before embracing Alan. "Are you gonna come back?" Todd mumbled. Alan tightened his embrace before releasing his hold.

"I'll be in town until you go home, so I'll be back every chance I get. Your boyfriend's been kind enough to let me stay in your guest room. He's insistent on having movie nights with me. I didn't know there were so many romance movies for... For-."

"Gay people?" Todd smiled. "Do you have a favorite so far?" Todd questioned as he walked with Alan.

"I thought Maurice was good. I won't lie and say I wasn't pleasantly surprised to see Rupert Graves as Scudder," Alan blushed. Todd chuckled.

"So, you like British guys? Noted," Todd teased.

"I didn't say that," Alan laughed, "What would I look like, dating somebody at my age?"

"Come on. You never know... Our future stepdad might be out there waiting for you to make your move. I'm not saying you should hop on Grindr or anything like that," Todd half-joked, "Keep an open mind... And whatever you do, don't ask Damon who Chloe Sevigny is."

"I love Chloe Sevigny," Alan replied.

"Oh my god, I'm dating your new best friend," Todd chuckled before they reached the front desk. "Well... It's the end of the line. Don't be a stranger."

Alan grinned and nodded. "Jennie-Lynn gave me a visitation schedule, so I'll probably be back tomorrow with Damon. Jennie's out of town visiting her friends, but she told me to send her love," Alan replied.

Todd exhaled once Alan left, and he smiled. It was pleasant. They really connected. It'd been so long since he felt connected to someone. Who would've thought it'd be Alan?

[percontaion-points]

Client No 5 chapters 13 & 14

This book review contains discussions of sw; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 13

New York was a wonderful place to be in when you were in love. I wondered if Scott and I would fall in love, if we would even make it that long. I tried not to get my hopes up.

The worst part about this relationship is that Ally is already quitting it before it even began. No matter how much that she might change over the course of the next ~100 pages, I can’t take her relationship with Scott seriously because of this. 

“I’m trying to warn my roommate that I’m about to come in. She often does things in the living room that should be kept private, if you get what I mean.” That was only part of the reason. A sinking sensation had settled in my stomach, and I was trying to buy myself some time to think of a way to get Scott away from there. 

His eyes went wide. “And you’re okay with that?”

I shrugged. I usually just ignored her, but I had a feeling that it would be too confronting for Scott.

Once again, this relationship is doomed from the get-go. Ally tried to tell Scott that she wasn’t girlfriend material. That she lived in a world that revolved around her fucking other men. He said that he didn’t care, and pushed her to accept anyway. 

I kind of want the second half of the book to be nothing but their relationship falling apart and Ally moving on with her life. 

“But you guys don’t still…you don’t still fuck now, right?”

“He wishes!” I said, laughing, then realized he probably wouldn’t find that funny.

He’s literally dating an escort; he’d better get used to it if he wants this relationship to last longer than this hour. 

“And if you were to count up all the clients, what would your number be then?”

[...]

“I’m fine. I’d like you to answer my questions, please.” 

“Does it matter?” I asked. 

“No. I’m not going to judge you. I know it’s going to be a high number. I’m just curious.”

He said that her being an escort wouldn’t bother him. Not even an hour later, every single aspect of her career is bothering him. 

“How would you feel about coming to Miami to visit me?” 

“I’m sure we could arrange it. I’d have to let Todd know some dates so he can schedule around them.” 

Scott frowned, but didn’t say anything. I wondered how hard it was for him to pretend like my job didn’t bother him.

He seems upset that she can’t simply drop everything and go to Florida. But it would be the same with literally any other job. 

I opened my mouth to share something I’d never told anyone—how I had been irrevocably broken.

Chapter 13 summary: Ally literally never takes guys to her home, but she decides that Scott isn’t a client, he’s her boyfriend now. They go to her apartment, only to find Jamie and Adam going at it on the sofa. Scott seems put off by that. 

In her room, Ally explains about her relationship, past and present, with Todd. Again, Scott is really put off by it. He asks her how many people that she’s slept with, and she only says 4. That clients don’t count. He wants to know how many clients that she’s serviced, and is again, really upset by the entire thing. HE’S DATING AN ESCORT; HE DOESN’T GET TO BE WEIRDED OUT BY HER HAVING FUCKED 2000+ MEN! 

Since Ally had said that she’d literally never fucked a single person on her bed before, Scott suggests that they should break it in. Things start to get hot and heavy, but then Ally starts to have second thoughts about the entire relationship thing. She tells him that this isn’t going to work out, and says that she doesn’t deserve any of this. Scott isn’t buying the idea that she doesn’t deserve love, and asks her what happened to make her like this. 

Chapter 14

Scott pulled me into his embrace again and hugged me close. “How do I put you back together?”

Look, I’m all for a good HEA. But a girl who has 2 different boys cheat on her, and then she decides to give up on love and become an escort… needs something a little bit more than the love of a steadfast man. 

Scott pulled me into his embrace again and hugged me close. “How do I put you back together?”

Chapter 14 summary: We get a flashback to when Ally was in college. She was in a 2 year relationship with a guy, Nick, and thought “tonight’s the night! He’s going to propose!” Only when she got home a bit early from class, she literally caught Nick balls-deep in some hussy. 

She ran through the rain to Zach’s apartment, but he was in class. Todd was there, and he comforted the crying Ally. First with alcohol, and then with his body. After they’d finished, he told her that it was so good, she should go pro. 

Back in the present, Scott tries to tell her without outright saying that what she’s doing isn’t healthy. However, rather than to recommend actual therapy, he recommends his penis. 

[letterstobojack]

Bojack,

I wrote to you just this morning, and it really helped a lot, for a little while, so here I am again.

I'm like you. I'm so incredibly terrified of being alone. When I'm around people, I don't have to think about stuff, and I can have fun and laugh and it seems okay. But when the day is over, and I go home, I am all by myself. It's just me, no distractions, no validation, nothing. 

And that is terrifying.

I'm also like you in the way that I don't cry in front of other people. I just don't. But as soon as I'm behind closed doors the tears start and they won't ever ever stop. There's a darkness inside me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to not feel this way. My heart is in my throat and everything hurts. I don't even have a reason. When people ask 'what's wrong' I don't even have anything to tell them.

You mention something along these lines in the 'Free Churro' monologue, and I embody those words. There's nothing wrong with me, and yet it's everything. 

You make me feel seen in a lot of ways. And I wish more than anything you could respond to this, because anything from you would help. You've felt these feelings your whole life, and somehow continue to live. How do you do that? I don't know how.

And part of me knows that if you can get help, if Bojack Horseman can take the steps to get better, and to be better, then maybe so can I. But another part of me knows that it isn't real. 

You changed me, Bojack Horseman, for the better.

I still feel sad every single day, and in some ways, you kind of make me feel worse. Every bad thing I do or feel reminds me of you, and I never want to be you. Not only that, but just knowing I can't turn to you anymore hurts. I can always rewatch the show, but knowing that your story is over, along with Todd's, Diane's and everybody else's, hurts more than anything. TV shows end, and life keeps going.

But despite all that, I know that years down the line, regardless of whether I continue to think about you everyday or not, I will carry your story with me, along with what it represents to me. I am aware this letter is very negative and that's mostly due to the way I am right now, but I want to stress how much good you have done. There are some mistakes I know I will never make, just from watching you. And there are some that I have made, that you helped me realize I can move past and truly get better. There are lessons I will take with me to my grave and there are stories I'll remember forever. 

I feel like you're an old friend of mine. I feel that way about everybody (especially Todd) but Bojack, you and I are more alike than I ever want to admit. 

Take care, BJ. I'll definitely be writing again soon, as this might be the only thing keeping me sane now.

P.S. If you see Todd, tell him he's a good boy for me :)

[painted-piggy-ships-archive]

Sweeney Todd x William Fang

Tag List: @ghostlyvenus @the-schizotypal-cryptid @heavenshipped @fangedwife

Summary: WHOOH BOY. THIS ONE’S. A LOT. Sweeney Todd rewrite pt. 2, after many weeks of brain constipation.

Warnings: MURDER! Mentions of s*icide and r*pe! A child gets intoxicated because this is the 1800s (and London) so drinking water is. LESS THAN FAVORABLE also that’s just what happens in canon. Tied into that, the drinking of gin! Sweeney being. Generally pretty terrifying holy fuck. (Noticeably so toward the end.) Guess that’s what grief does to a man in these conditions. Emeto mention. UH, THREATS! In other words,

⚠️READER DISCRETION IS FUCKING ADVISED.⚠️

Like my writing? Consider Reblogging 🔁 or leaving a nice Comment 💬 when you can!

(Odin forgive me I can’t believe I’m putting that ^ on probably one of the most intense pieces I’ve written for this blog SHSSH-)

“Wherever did you learn to shave like that?” William asked Sweeney as soon as the two had a moment to converse amongst themselves. The barber smiled slightly and lowered his gaze, humbled.

“Ah, years of practice, young man… and some, natural talent, I suppose.”

“Do you think you could teach me?”

Sweeney raised his brows.

“If I have the time…”

William smiled, then noticed Pirelli’s trailer pulling up outside the shop, quickly pointing it out to his new neighbor.

“Wonder what he could want…” Sweeney muttered before starting for the stairs, wanting to be prepared for anyone coming into his shop. Nellie followed, leaving William to tend to the groceries he had brought home. He shrugged to himself and did just that, but it wasn’t long before the baker returned with Pirelli’s young assistant, Tobias.

“Now, you just sit down and let your Aunt Nellie prepare you a pie,” Miss Lovett ordered, pulling a nearby stool up beside the counter where she normally worked.

“Good day, young man,” William greeted in a friendly manner as he got out of the baker’s way.

“How do you do, mister?” Toby asked politely. The three went through the usual small talk before the boy sprung to his feet.

“Oh, I’ve nearly forgotten! Mr. Pirelli has a meeting with his tailor, he needs me to remind him!” He dashed out of the pie shop… and was turned back at the top of the stairs. “Mr. Todd says I can have a tot of gin!”

“Ah, gin, of course, dearie, I don’t see why not! William?”

“If you’d please, ma’am.”

The baker poured two cups and handed them off, unaware of Todd’s plans to intoxicate young Tobias… considering the fate of his employer.

“So what about Pirelli, Toby??” Miss Lovett asked.

“Mr. Todd says he was called away, and I should wait here for him...”

“Miss Lovett.” It was as if the barber appeared into the doorway and out of thin air. “A word upstairs, if you’d please.”

Nellie was quick to follow. At his request, William poured the boy more gin and nibbled at a pie despite its quality.

~~~

Upstairs, Sweeney explained a gruesome thing.

“Have you lost your marbles, killing a man that’s done you no harm?!” Miss Lovett yelped.

“He recognized me, from before. Tried to blackmail me. I had no choice.” The barber told her coldly. She sighed, relieved.

“Well, that’s a different story, then… for a moment I thought you’d gone completely barking mad!”

The bell for Todd’s shop rang, startling both inhabitants as a fair-haired sailor entered.

“Mr. Todd! You’ll never believe the day I’ve had!” His face was plastered with a grin as he spoke, cheerfulness seeming to radiate off of him. “I saw this… beautiful, most wonderful, magnificent woman today! Her name is Johanna… ah, pardon me, miss!”

The sailor offered his hand to Miss Lovett.

“Miss Lovett, this is Anthony, a sailor that pulled me from the sea when I was escaping.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Miss Lovett chirped as she shook Anthony’s hand. “Johanna, you say?”

“Yes! But ohh… she’s locked up by this hideous tyrant, Judge Turpin…”

Sweeney’s dark eyes flickered with recognition and Anthony continued; “She threw me this key this morning! I-I’ll steal her away, marry her, get her out of this place. But where shall I keep her between the judge’s house and the docks?”

“She can stay here,” Miss Lovett immediately offered.

“Really?” Anthony looked to Sweeney for confirmation.

“Yes. I’ll allow it.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you!” He impulsively hugged Miss Lovett before sprinting off.

“Wouldja look at that! Fate must be smilin’ upon you,” Miss Lovett spoke, “you’ll get to see your daughter again!”

“Yes, until he swindles her away,” Sweeney muttered bitterly.

“You could always convince him to visit… finish ‘im off, and Johanna could live here, with us! Oh, and to think, the poor dear’s been so long without motherly affection…”

Sweeney huffed and stood, having been sat upon the trunk that now housed the fraudulent barber’s body. Before another word could be spoken, the bell rang again, and the imposing Judge Turpin entered the shop.

“If it isn’t the great Judge Turpin,” Sweeney greeted, a metaphorical mask replacing his previously grim expression with a friendly smile.

“Oop, excuse me, good day your honorableness,” Miss Lovett quickly excused herself, ducking past the judge.

“What can I do for you, sir?”

“The Beadle recommended I see you,” Turpin began as Sweeney took his coat and hat, “I’m trying to woo a lady, you see, and it seems I’ve neglected my grooming. I am in need of a shave, sir.”

“The closest I’ll ever give, I assure you.” Sweeney’s eyes flickered with murderous glee, though he wished to relish this moment.

~~~

Just as Sweeney was about to strike, his door flew open and he was interrupted yet again. It was Anthony, and he began to ramble excitedly about how Johanna had immediately agreed to marry him. His energy stammered to a halt when he saw the judge in the barber’s chair.

Turpin rose from his seat, angrily tearing the cape from his neck.

“That sneaking slut!” He roared before turning on Sweeney, “There is indeed a higher power to warn me! I see the company you keep, Mr. Todd, and you cannot expect me to indulge in your services ever again!”

With that, Judge Turpin exited the shop while Sweeney’s face paled and his hands began to shake.

“Mr. Todd, I-” Anthony started.

“Out.”

“Mr. Todd, you have to help me…”

“OUT, I SAID, DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME, BOY, OUT!” Sweeney’s snarl sent Anthony flying from the lot. Miss Lovett quickly came up after him.

“All this shoutin’ and runnin’ about, what’s happened???” She asked nervously.

“I had him, and then…!”

“Yes, yes, I know dear, the sailor-”

“No, I had him! His throat was bare beneath my hand… I had him, and now… HE’S NEVER GOING TO COME AGAIN!” Sweeney sunk to his knees beside the trunk on the floor and pounded on it with his fist.

“E-easy now, dearie,” Miss Lovett rushed to comfort him, patting his shoulder, “I-I’m sure you’ll get another chance, you’re clever! You’ll find a way.”

“You told me to wait and look what came of it!” Sweeney seethed, not allowing frustrated tears to prick his eyes… he took a few breaths and suddenly lifted his head. “Miss Lovett. I’ve had an epiphany.”

He stood and Miss Lovett backed off slightly.

“Why shouldn’t I get to kill whomever I please? Don’t you think I deserve it? After all, we’re all going to die someday! You’re right… I’ll get another chance. Be it tricking him back into my parlor, or breaking into his home at night. I will have him.”

The baker patted her neighbor’s shoulders again, nodding along with his words.

“That’s all very well, dear… so what’re we going to do about the Italian?” She asked, eyeing the trunk.

“Ah… later on, when it’s dark, we could take him to a secluded graveyard and bury him.”

“Don’t suppose he’s got any relatives that’ll come poking around, looking for him.”

“Well then, what do you propose?”

“Is everything alright up there?” William’s voice came from the stairs and the neighbors shared a glance. The two decided to head downstairs and check on William and Tobias.

“William, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about,” Sweeney immediately told the assistant while Miss Lovett took a very sleepy, and very drunk, Tobias back to her parlor. “I know you told me to call you Bill but this is quite serious. I need to know if I can trust you.”

William swallowed, steeling his nerves as the barber’s coldness shook him to his core. “Whatever it is, I swear on my life I’ll keep it confidential.”

“That’s a good man. Say you had the perfect life. The family you’ve always wanted, the profession, everything. And somebody wrongly takes it away from you. Exiles you. And for the next fifteen years, you grow bitter. The only thing keeping you going is the idea that you might come back to the life you were forced from. But when you get that chance… you come back to horrible tales about what happened to your family when you were away. And the person that threw you out like a torn and muddied cloth; he walks free, his crimes out of sight, out of mind. Do you not think you’d be in the right to enact revenge? Murder, even?”

William blinked as Sweeney finished his speech.

“Mr. Todd, I…” He lowered his voice, “this hypothetical wouldn’t happen to be based on true events, would it?”

Sweeney exhaled, looking… exhausted, and pained. Rage had fueled his fire for many days now, but once it was all laid out, the coals cooled for a second.

“Yes. William, my wife is dead. The judge raped her after I was wrongly imprisoned, so she committed suicide. I had escaped the prison, hoping there was a shred of good waiting for me back home. All I found was heartbreak, and a man with no good in his entire being. I am going to kill Judge Turpin, and lest you can understand me, it may be your neck on the chopping block as well.” Sweeney smiled darkly, his eyes vacant as his passionate anger returned. “Can’t have any witnesses, now, can we?”

William gulped once more. This was a lot to process.

“May I at least have a moment to sort out my thoughts?” He asked weakly, wanting to buy himself time if this were to be his death day.

“Oh yes. Why don’t you take a walk and get back to me?” Sweeney pat William’s shoulder with a predatory, sickly friendliness, as if he did not just spill his guts for practically a stranger. William started for the door, but Sweeney halted him with a final thought.

“And I killed Pirelli. He was trying to blackmail me.”

William quickly left the bakery, pausing in an alleyway to retch. So it wasn’t just talk. Sweeney Todd was capable of murder, and if William didn’t consider his opinion critically, he could be the next victim.