#there's prolly more i wanted to bitch about cos man there's a lot of shit to this bullshit relationship

[face-palming-fox]

i so badly want to not be the bigger person.

ive let people step all over me for my entire life. in earlier years, cos i was naive; in later years cos. i thought it's what i should've been doing. to not cause others distress so i would just take it all upon myself.

until everyone all got a bit too comfy with taking advantage of my kindness and accommodating. and they fucked me up beyond anything i can comprehend now. and im tired of it.

if you can't match or respect what i can give. i really don't want much association with you. because im tired of meeting people 100% of the way to not even get .01% of anything back.

so when this selfish, uncaring ex of mine told me im no longer welcome to live in the apartment i struggled to clean for 10 years by myself for him not ever contributing to housework cos he saw earning money as his only duty, and made me leave my cats with him that i did everything for, feeding, bathing, grooming, medicating, cleaning litter boxes and taking to vet appts and often times paying for those appt unless they were more than i had in my account meanwhile all he wanted to do for them was sometimes cuddle them (because he often ignored them too)

the hurt, bitter side of me wants to message his friend that he now spends all his time with and what has lead to the even further decline of him ever paying attention to me and tell her how much he's affected me over the years. how because he made me take on the 'housewife' role of doing the cooking, cleaning, groceries, pet care AND work a 40/hr a week job that kept putting me in positions that i never wanted to be in and completely overwhelming me for 8 hours a day, five days week..

that im and even more broken and disabled person now bc of partial contribution from him. and that i think he resents the fact that im. so. fucked up i struggle to function on a daily basis for having weird brain episodes of dissociation, confusion, exec dysfunction that makes doing tasks harder, time blindness, unfocused most the day.. etc.

how shitty it is that he did every activity i ever waited on him to make time to do with me but it never happened, with her. how he's never respected or acknowledged my queer identity and even made fun of/misgendered/dead named his trans sister (and for some reason so many people felt safe and comfortable to come out to him, i don't get it) and he would brag about getting strangers her barely knew on the internet for less than a year's pronouns correct.

how he now. is doing some. of the house tasks that i literally had to BEG him to do to help me out just a little bit when we were together so i could finally sit down and relax for a while.

how literally hours. after informing me he no longer wanted me to live with him and made my only choice of residence my parents house who I've been terrified of for two years because they refuse to try and understand my mental illness issues... and also in the two weeks following.. he's asked me three times if ill babysit the cats that as of right now im only allowed to VISIT after I've been a part of their lives for all of their entire lives.. so he can go on vacation to visit her again. that would make 3 vacation trips he would be taking in 3 months.

ive never taken a vacation. ever. we either never had enough money, couldn't get vacation time off at the same time or wouldn't have anyone to watch all of our cats. the only time we planned a trip was for a weekend anime convention (would have been my first ever con and i was planning over a year for it) in 2020 and obviously. that fell through.

and after all of this. after everything he's done. after everything he's put me through. he thinks we're the best of friends right now. when in reality.. i hate his fucking guts. i want to cuss him out so bad. i literally wrote 20 full pages of shit for him when i thought i was going to get my things and my cats and never speak to him again and it was gonna be my final words to him.

because he disgusts me. i so badly want his friends to know. his followers. his discord server. i want them to know that it doesn't even matter the longevity of your time knowing him, it doesn't secure him respecting u and treating u well. it doesn't matter how much you've done or sacrificed for him. if he's not the center of attention and the aunmbject matter for everything topic and conversation, it's not worth his time.

he let his partner struggle for years trying to keep up a household and care for increasingly more animals over 10 years. he refused their identity and continued to misgender them on a daily basis. he ignored every attempt his partner tried to make to spend time with him because he prioritized streaming and hanging out online over his partner. he refused to figure out how to communicate despite many desperate pleas for communication. (he stressed out and pressured his ace partner for years for sex when they didn't want to participate and quite honestly probably for the same reasons of 0 communication and he was more in it for himself than anything).

as interaction started to dwindle between us, the few times we did chat it always had to be him speaking or topics around him: his daily video game adventures, his job, how stressed and tired he was. if i spoke or spoke too long (i had to start cutting everything i said down to size because he would never let me speak) he was quickly trying to get away from me or shut me up.

.. melatonin has gotten to me and i forgot my train of thought. my point is.. he's not treated me well. he wants constant attention and praise for every minor thing he does ut he doesn't wanna give any back. at least in my case. and all i ever did was try and make him happy. try to make his life easier and stress free. while he did the exact opposite for me. and he still wants to take from me after it's now all over.

i don't want to be the nice person anymore. he doesn't deserve that from me after wasting 14 years of my life and causing 2 major identity/relationship meltdowns, constant imposter syndrome, increasing amounts of anxiety and nonstop life disruptions that i never could process and settle bc as soon as i tried to get used to whatever way he caused change, he'd cause more.

fuck him. and fuck cishet men.

[m4nd0l0r]

Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That Have Consumed Every Single Space in my Mind-)

Description: “Live.. Laugh… Love the insanity the apocalypse brings me.” -Five Hargreeves, tired after a caffeine rush and/or from a drunken high. 2019. (this is canon.. HE TOLD ME HIMSELF)

Author’s Note: this is just how I’m dealing with writer’s block— i swear i’m still working on my upcoming Five fics- 😭😭 so uh have this for now i guess 🥲 no warnings btw!! its just me writing in lowercase a lot- a shit ton of crack and swearing- (five’s body is aged up- and his consciousness ranges from 30 to 50 in my works— however you decided which age you want for your experience :)))

Five Taglist (i forgot to tag im so sorry 😭): @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @sunweee @reinaeru @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @technicallydifferenttraveler @seconds-not-decades @magical-girl-on-fire @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-loki-bitch @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @ne0boss @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @mivzai @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

he likes bitter coffee candy (if the mf cant get coffee he’d raid a candy shop rather than logically coming after a cafe-)

likes slasher films for how creative the deaths look (esp if its practical effects, he’s a sucker for those) (he likes nightmare on elm street, he gives me that impression for WHAT)

^ cos of this- i basically headcanon that in his commission days- he’d kill creatively- as if it were his canvas, my guy is an artist with blood 💪

idk why but he’d be an avid “gelato is NOT ice cream you idiot” typa guy (fucker knows italian and my ass RAN W IT)

he watches julia roberts romance movies (cos i like her rom films so im projecting-) (he def likes the maturity of the ending of my best friend’s wedding)

for some reason he considers mocha as chocolate rather than coffee (like the old man he is)

actually likes caramel, never tells anyone for no reason (fucking punk ass smh)

he’d say he hates animals but he’d give a pat to a dog/cat if he’d see one (but he’ll glare at the poor thing if it scratches him-)

from ptsd from the apocalypse- he tries to never indulge w small things like getting large amounts of food- cos he has the mindset that he “might need extra in case something bad happens”

he’d hate physical touch at first- flinching like a surprised cat on steroids— but he gets used to it slowly- and one person at a time

also i dont give a shit on what anyone thinks- FIVE IS A LITTLE SPOON IN HUGS— why you may ask? fucker is a touch starved ptsd filled mf- he needs those hugs ASAP- he would hold your hand 25/8 to reduce his paranoia i just know it (i PROPHESIZEEEE)

the first beer he drunk was a bottle he found in a post apocalypse alcohol store and the liquid was full w small grime and dirt- but he wanted to try some to “check off a bucket list”

LOVES dark comedies, he just does, he CACKLES when he watches one (but he only shows amusement when he’s alone, never w his siblings)

^ he’d also slap his thigh if he finds something soooo funny (old man behaviour smh)

has a personal vendetta against ppl who WOULDN’T put pineapple on pizza (klaus converted the grandpa and at first he felt gross eating it but as he continues he thought: “ok. this isn’t that bad.” the next thing you know, you see him on the phone calling the pizza place for 2 more boxes of hawaiian pizza—)

listens to edith pliaf RELIGIOUSLY (you would gift him a vinyl of hers and his eyes would SHINE) (the only time you saw his eyes the brightest-)

with modern music— he’d prolly like radio music (until you berate him and convert him to alt & indie rock)

has an odd fixation with guns and knives (like the papa he is) (would explain EVERYTHING ABOUT A SPECIFIC WEAPON) (he’s a nerd) (he’ll never admit it) (ever)

has a switchblade on his dominant arm pocket (he could use anything as a weapon, but he likes to be “prepared”)

like on s1, he’d pretend to be a kid and all innocent & shit to get free shit from strangers (you’d hop on the bandwagon and **nicely** ask him to get you stuff too.. he complains and says no but you’d see him on the next day with the shit you requested on his hands)

^ continuation with this— fucker prolly got a coffee machine cos he went up to some lady- went on, put a sad act, and went “oh no.. i dont got a gift to give to my dad.. he always wanted a coffee machine after ours broke” and the lady would have pitied his ass and bought a cheap but durable one for him— this would lead to a situation where the rest of the umbrellas try to take away the coffee machine away from his addicted ass-

viktor: should we?? do something??? diego: we’ve took THREE of those damn machines- what else can we do??? klaus: it’s like… he pulls it out of his ass.. you think he shits out coffee beans?? or is it just liquidated coffee at this point? you: i should call the ambulance before he falls off the window from the coffee… can’t deal with a cranky five.. luther: (is tired of it all and just wants to enjoy his married life) .. yes. please do.

in conclusion? never take away five’s coffee- he will drive you mad—

whenever he’s drunk- he acts like a goddamn sloth (esp if he’s comfortable with you- mf will CLING ON YOU LIKE SOME PARASITE—) (i wouldn’t mind tho 😏- i mean what?)

though as much as he likes bitter coffee- i see him DESPISE BITTER BEER, he would spit that stuff out of with the most offended face ever (all scrunched up like crumpled paper)

for my fellow filipino readers- he unfortunately SUCKS ASSSS when speaking in tagalog… you either tease the living fuck out of him about him or smile through your ear pain going “wow! galing! (amazing!)” (no he was not amazing he sounded like a screeching tire or smth- /lh)

[starxscream]

Rouxls for the character ask! (and Mettaton or/and Noelle too if you want!)

Runs around in circles

I'm. On mobile so I'm sorry for the long post awhoopsie

Rouxls

Sexuality Headcanon:

Gay gay homosexual gay. Ok but fr he radiates a lot of homosexual energy and like- he knows his preference he just SUCKS at recognizing when he likes someone. Probably a little on the aro spectrum in the demi area since I think he prolly has some issues with deep relationships that need to get worked out and while surface level he can feel attraction it's just surface level n goes away when the initial infatuation wears off

Gender Headcanon:

Non-op transmasc enby<3 my man radiates SO MUCH transmasc swag it's unreal

A ship I have with said character:

I'll give you one guess. (I will not write and essay here abt swatchkaard. I will not write an essay here abt swatchkaard. I will n-)

HOWEVER as a special weird one I do like him queerplatonic with KK! Maybe romantic but more so queerplatonic lol I think abt when Rouxls goes to their shop to fix up his machine a lot and KK is just. I like your funny words. I think they're goofy as friends and I rly like two silly buddies bc I imagine KK would just listen to these rambles ("""listen""" he so tuned out 15 minutes ago) and then offer milk or cd bagels like congrats. Or sorry that happened. Just a nice chill vibe to balance out how high strung Rouxls can be!

A BROTP I have with said character:

I know Queen is like, obvious choice here since they co-parent and I do enjoy that BUUUTTT. I also like him being good buds with Seam! Esp after they could reconnect in castle town after the events of chapter 1. I like to think they were all friends (Rouxls, Seam, and Jevil) before what happened with Jevil with Seam being a kind of straight man to both Rouxls and Jevil (who prolly pissed each other off a lot- well Jevil would prolly rile Rouxls up on purpose...lol) so I think Rouxls holds some respect for Seam but then they. Like. Yknow. Disappeared. So I like them rekindling a friendship later on :]

A NOTP I have with said character:

King or Queen romantically lol. The power imbalance there is...rly bad. With how bad Rouxls wants to please and serve them/be a servant to someone of high status, its just inappropriate to have him in a romantic relationship with them bc it can easily be turned into a manipulative toxic pool cuz King/Queen have too much power over Rouxls in the relationship

Also they're both just like. Rly rude n bully him constantly so like eeehhhh sorry I don't like the date ur bully type ships.

A random headcanon:

What hcs do I even have I haven't talked about holy shit lmao

Anyways I think it'd be cool if he had a lisp and part of the reason he has the accent is to hide it cuz he's self conscious (gestures to how his drips keep getting in his mouth I can't imagine that makes it easy to talk either)

General Opinion over said character:

I love this bitch he lives in my rent free (this is a plural joke)

Anyways tho for reals I think he's a lot more interesting than just comedy relief and I hope we get to see more sides of him than just that. Cuz we still have never had a "real" battle with him and I'd love to see what his real strength is. I love him dearly. My silly pathetic meow meow

Mettaton

Sexuality Headcanon:

Also gay I'm sorry but you CANNOT tell me anything about that robot is straight.

Gender Headcanon:

Trans man!! This is just supported by canon lol

A ship I have with said character:

Tbh. I haven't. Played undertale. Still. so I don't have any super strong opinions but I'm just kinda like gestures. I don't rly have one? I'm not a fan of a lot of ships with Mettaton with undertale characters.

I do think him in Rouxls is funny in a non-canon crackship kinda way lol transmascs stay winning

A BROTP I have with said character:

Ik Alphys is again. The obvious choice but I think he'd be cool friends with Sans ngl. I rly like the idea of them being pals bc Sans is chill and Mettaton is...not lol and it's a fun mixture bc they're BOTH very silly and I think they'd talk for ages- or well Mettaton would and Sans would make a quip every now and then that would crack Mettaton up

A NOTP I have with said character:

Uuhhh idk I rlyyyy don't like him shipped with any female characters bc he's rly blatantly queer-coded imo. It makes me uncomfortable personally.

I rly need to play undertale God bless its been sitting on my switch for who knows how long

A random headcanon:

His robotic pink chest part is curved/juts out in way to make it seem he's a non-op transmasc bc I think that's cool. Thank you

Also I like the idea when he gets upset or overwhelmed his arms just stretch and drop all over the floor like limp noodles

General Opinion over said character:

Holds him in my hand. U are the reason I'd play undertale if it wasn't for the fact you're so far into the game. I love u sir I love ur gender I want To Be You.

Also currently living in my head rent free (plural joke)

Noelle

Sexuality Headcanon:

Ace Lesbian bc I love making characters on the aroace spectrum thank u

Gender Headcanon:

Beelze Rly got me hooked on transmasc egg Noelle. She doesn't rly know it but she's got the vibes and I see her, now that she's reconnecting with Kris, to expirament with gender more and figure it out

A ship I have with said character:

Susie duh lol I don't have much to add besides congrats lesbians on the win

A BROTP I have with said character:

While there are issues that def need to get worked out I rly do love her friendship with Berdly bc they are actually rly good friends even if Berdly tests her patience a lot. I hope to see them both grow and have a stronger friendship after chapter two (well. On the non-snowgrave route.)

Also KK they're besties :)

A NOTP I have with said character:

Any boy character lol let us have the lesbian we deserve. Also not a big fan of her n Kris bc I like them better as good friends

A random headcanon:

Weeeelllllll I like to think that in addition to holiday music she REALLY loves stuff like rock or heavy metal and just hecking jams to it- whenever someone finds this out it always surprises them lol

General Opinion over said character:

I think she's neat :) and I'm glad she's not the stereotypical sweet girl next door like we originally saw lol she's a WEIRD KID and i LOVE that about her. Honestly the more I learn abt her the more I love her

[boognish-worshipper]

Sunrise, Sunset

switching it up with a franklin and lamar centered fic (not exactly as a ship buuut more or less some one sided feelings?) jus a silly little idea i had that was originally gonna be a one shot sorta thing or whatever,, changed my mind tho n i’m jus gonna split it up, this is part one !!

i feel like lamar would be very oblivious about his feelings towards frank tbh LMFAOOO

//

Lamar and Franklin sometimes drove out to the highest point in Los Santos to watch the sunrise. Well, more Lamar than Franklin, seeing as Franklin preferred to sleep in. He often dragged him out of bed to go take Chop out and see the sun peak up from the horizon, lighting the city up with natural reds and yellows.

“C’mon you lazy fuck, we gon’ miss it!”

“Lamar, the sun rises every fuckin’ day! Trust me, it’ll be there tomorrow.”

“You jus’ a lazy bum who don’t wanna get his lazy bum ass outta bed. Man get up already!”

Chop barked, and Lamar nodded to him.

“Yeah, you right Chop. This muhfucker don’t wanna budge, huh? Don’t even wanna take his precious dog for a walk. You oughta be ashamed of yoself Frank.”

“Chop wasn’t even my dog to begin with!”

“Man fuck you, you became co-parent of him when you had to take him in!”

Franklin could only groan into his pillow, missing the blissful sleep he had been shaken awake from.

“Just go away Lamar! Damn!”

He felt the taller man looming over him, grabbing his shoulders to shake him further awake.

“We’re running outta time, fool. C’mon, I’ll let you ride shotgun this time.”

Chop barked in protest.

“Chop, it’s the only way we might get him out the house.”

Accepting that arguing would get him nowhere, Franklin sat up right, glaring at Lamar.

“For fucks sake man, fine. I’ll go. Jus’ lemme throw on some clothes that ain’t the shit I wore to bed.”

Lamar grinned widely at him.

“Fuck yeah! Chop, let’s go wait in the car.”

The small dog trotted not too far behind Lamar’s long legs. Franklin wondered what force he disturbed that landed him in this position. He sighed, knowing that he wasn’t exactly a saint, so there wasn’t much to wonder at all. If this was his punishment then so be it. The car ride wasn’t too long, especially not after Franklin moving out of Strawberry to Vinewood Hills, making it easier for them to get there. Minimal traffic because of how early it was helped too. Lamar never dropped his grin, just happy to do his favorite thing with his favorite person. Who wouldn’t love watching the sunrise with their best friend? Especially seeing the way the sun lit his face up, a delicate smile on his face seeing an excellent sunrise and- Woah. Where’d that come from? Lamar figured it was just his excitement to see a particularly gorgeous sunrise, using that as an excuse for the feeling that sat in his gut. As soon as they pulled up to the spot, he bounced out of his seat, keeping the door open for Chop.

“We here homie!”

“Mhm.. so where the fuck’s the sunrise?”

“Patience Frank, patience.”

“But you jus’ fuckin’ bitched at me for the last half hour about how we was gon’ miss it! Fuck you mean patience?!”

“It’s coming! Don’t ruin a moment that’s gon’ be special, F.”

He grunted in Lamar’s direction, turning around to go play with Chop for the time being. The sunrise crept up, a ray of sunlight hitting Lamar in the eye. He blocked the light with his hand, hitting Franklin with his free one.

“Ay Frank, look!”

The sunrise that crawled up from the depths of the horizon shone in glimmers of gold and pretty shades of orange. Lamar smiled again.

“Man.. look at that. It’s beautiful ain’t it-“ He turned to face Franklin, who was caught in a trance. The sun hit his face just right, and he looked incredible. Like some sort of focused statue or whatever. It was alright to admire your homies like that, right? Nothin’ wrong with admiring a dude. Franklin turned back to answer him.

“Yeah, it sure is.. you good man?”

Lamar coughed slightly, shifting his weight onto one of his feet.

“Uh.. yeah man, just thought I saw a bug crawling on yo face or sum’. But damn, I’m glad we caught this.”

“Me too. But I’m still pissed you dragged me outta bed so fuckin’ early.”

“Man what’d I say? Don’t bitch while we havin’ a moment!”

Franklin only laughed and Lamar felt something in him stir. It was good to hear him laugh.

“So now what?”

“Well, if we leave now by the time we get back into the city some of them diners should be open for breakfast.”

“This early in the day?”

“Believe it or not Frank but the rest of society does their shit earlier than you. So ya, people eat this early.”

They went back to the car, with Chop riding shotgun this time. Franklin wanted to rest his eyes until they got to whatever food place Lamar was taking them to, earning a snarky comment from him. Lamar wanted to pick a decent place to eat and eventually settled on an old diner they went to as kids. He poked Franklin, reanimating him back to life.

“Look where we at dog.”

“Ohh shit, this that diner we used to go to after school everyday! It’s still in business?”

“Guess so man. Let’s go!”

“Wait! What about Chop?”

Shit. Right. Chop looked at the two men, tilting his head sadly.

“You wanna jus’ bring the food back to yo crib?”

“Eh fuck it. Why not.”

They decided on some basic breakfast food and brought it back to Franklin’s place. The big windows in his kitchen would illuminate the room well enough, and Lamar could value the view from there.

“So tell me Lamar, why’s it you only wanna go see the sunrise? You never mention watchin’ the sunset dog.”

“Ion really know myself homie. One day I just started gettin’ up early wit’ Chop to go walkin’ n shit.”

“Can we watch the sunset sometime then? I am tired of gettin’ up at the asscrack of dawn.”

“That’s cuz you ain’t get yo 9 hours dog.”

“Man, shut the fuck up. Who the hell gets 9 hours at our age? Bozo.”

“I’m just sayin’ maybe if you got some normal sleep for fuckin’ once you wouldn’t be such a GD grouch.”

“Whatever you say bro.”

The two finished their food in comfortable silence, with Franklin scolding Lamar at least once or twice for feeding Chop table scraps.

“So whatchu wanna do now?”

“We could always go catch a movie or sum’, maybe go see that Meltdown movie ya boy Mike was talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Yeah, I never did get the chance to go see it, with all the chaotic bullshit goin’ on.”

They left Chop at home after a long goodbye from Lamar, telling him that as soon as they got back that he would get all the treats in the world and all that other mushy shit. Franklin mocked the high-pitched voice he used to speak to Chop, earning a smack in the arm from Lamar.

They arrived for a matinee showing at the the theater closest to Franklin’s house, getting a bunch of complimentary snacks and some drinks. The movie was awful, but in a way that it was enjoyable to watch. A movie so bad it was good. Franklin kept leaning in to whisper to Lamar how corny the whole thing was, saying that it was definitely right up Michael’s alley. He ignored the closeness between him and his friend as best as he could, but he still shuffled in his seat awkwardly.

“Hey uh, Frank. I’mma go to the bathroom real quick, stretch my legs n shit.”

“Aight, see you in a minute homie.”

His walk to the bathroom felt stagnant, and when he got there all he could do was look at himself in the mirror. What the fuck was his problem right now?

“Get it the fuck together LD. It’s just Frank, it’s nothing weird. Chill out.” He spoke aloud to himself.

He splashed water in his face and walked back to the room showing Meltdown. The movie was almost over and Franklin didn’t make anymore comments. Lamar sighed inwardly, just wanting to get out of there already, despite the whole going-to-see-a-movie thing being his idea to begin with. He didn’t know why he was feeling the way he did right now, and he didn’t know how to make it go away. Franklin leaned over to whisper in his ear once more, sending a chill down Lamar’s spine.

“Dog, this movie sucks and it’s almost over anyway, you wanna just get out of here?”

“Uh.. yeah, yeah. Chop’s prolly missin’ us right now anyway.”

Lamar drove them back this time, driving a lot faster than he should’ve been.

“Woah, homie slow down! What’s the fuckin’ rush for?!”

“I jus’.. Ion know I’m not feelin’ too hot right now and I really jus’ wanna get back to yo place. Maybe lie down or sum’..”

“That ain’t gon’ happen if we get in a fuckin’ car wreck though!”

He slowed it down a bit hearing Franklin’s concerned tone, frustrated by that feeling again. It was like an itch he couldn’t scratch. They pulled up into Frank’s driveway, Lamar nearly knocking over his recycling can, earning another disgruntled comment from Franklin.

“You been actin’ so weird bro, what’s goin’ on?”

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe the food we had jus’ not sittin’ right wit’ me.”

“Well, like you said go lie down or sum’. You wanna sleep in my bed for now? I’ll go take care of Chop or-“

“Uh sure, aight. I’mma go.. do that.”

Franklin looked at him like he had two heads, lifting a brow up in suspicion.

“Aight then, holla at me when you feel somewhat better.”

Lamar basically ran down the stairs to Franklin’s room, closing the door tight behind him. He slid down the door, looking straight ahead. Why did he feel so- so weird right now? He had a pleasant day overall with his best friend, what could possibly be bothering him?? He tossed his head back, making a small thud sound against the door. Groaning out loud, he did a walkthrough of today. He drove to Franklin’s, wanting to see the sunrise. Nothing unusual, this was a common thing they did. The sunrise was pretty, and lit everything up wonderfully. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Franklin wasn’t entirely a buzzkill when they made it there, if anything he looked tranquil, the sun making his brown eyes glow. Then what? They got food, which tasted just like how he remembered from when Frank and him were just teens. Went to a movie which they basically talked the whole way through, Franklin continuously whispering in his ear. His voice so low and close made him feel hot all over, but it was just because whispering was like that no matter who was doing it. So what the hell was his problem right now? He must not have noticed how long he was in there, because he heard a light tap at the door.

“Lamar? You good homie?”

He rushed to stand up, pretending like he just woke from a short nap.

“Uh, yeah dog, doin’ just fine. Think layin’ down helped.”

“Good. You want me to take you home or do you wanna stay here?”

Part of Lamar wanted to stay just to be around Franklin a little while longer. The other part of him wanted to run right out the door. He thought it over, and figured he might need time to himself. He didn’t think he had it in him to be around Franklin after such a strange day. At least, a strange day for him. Franklin was thankful for the fact they had one normal day to hangout without shenanigans on Lamar’s part… besides the way he had been acting up to now.

“I think I’mma jus’ head back.”

“Aight then.”

The car ride back was silent. Lamar felt like the air was suffocating him, like any minute he’d pass out. He shifted in his seat to look out the window, familiar streets coming up. He didn’t want to look at Franklin for some reason, turning away from him.

“Hey, we here.”

He sat up, getting ready to get out of the car, until Franklin grabbed his wrist. Lamar felt like he was burning him with the contact.

“Ay man, what the fuck’s your problem today?”

“I already told you, it was the food or sum’, chill out dog.”

He loosened his grip, looking unsatisfied with his answer.

“Man fine, but if you hidin’ somethin’ from me I wanna fuckin’ know.”

“I’m not, I promise you.”

“You better not be, you mysterious bitch. Remember, you dragged me out of bed to hangout today.”

He winced, feeling guilty somehow.

“Yeah F, I know.”

Lamar looked back at his house, not wanting to get caught in Franklin’s death stare.

“I’ll see ya later or sum’ Frank.”

“See ya homie.”

He turned back, watching Franklin drive away. Torn between a relieved mood, and a pang of loneliness. As he walked inside his house, he slammed the door in frustration. Franklin and him were on the same page- he didn’t know why he was acting the way he was. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he went to a last resort to get an idea of something. That stupid psychic shoutout website that was growing in popularity. At least it was free.

Hello. What brings you to Miss Marcy’s site?

fuck you think, lady. help me out here

What with?

some fuckin explanation for why i feel weird rn

Were you just with a friend?

uh yeah

kinda why i’m here to begin with

I see. How close are you to said friend?

well, he like a brother to me ig? idk

never thought 2 deeply abt it.

A family friend? Hmm… I’m seeing the letter F, or T.

damn, you kinda good. it’s f

Wait a minute, I’m getting another letter. L!

yeah! my name starts with l!

You wouldn’t happen to be… I see it now… Lamar?

woah, you really fuckin good lady.

Well, I know I’m a psychic, but I have a feeling I spoke to your friend already.

you did?

Since when did Franklin visit stupid sites like this? He felt a blush creeping onto his face, wondering if Franklin might’ve been in the same boat as him at some point.

Yes. I think I have the answer to your problem, Lamar

please.

anything’ll help

Are you absolutely sure you want to hear it?

When I spoke to your friend, he didn’t seem too pleased with what I had to say.

c’mon lady don’t be a cocktease rn i need help

Well… okay.

You love him.

uh duh

he’s my best friend

why wouldn’t i?

No, I mean

You’re… *in* love with him.

His jaw went slack. He stared blankly at the screen. What?

the fuck?

uh no

ain’t no way.

I’m seeing a long time friendship. Lots of pining.

you ain’t seeing shit lady

u got it wrong

I knew you would say this - you can be mad at me all you want, but think it over

seriously, just think it over.

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself.

“Fuck!”

He tossed his phone across the room onto his worn down couch. That didn’t solve his problem. If anything, it just made it worse. Love? Franklin? Him? What the fuck was that bitch smoking? He threw his palms over his face, groaning. He didn’t wanna think about what the fuck she meant. Because there was no way in hell he was in love with Frank. He couldn’t be. That was his day one. His best friend. That would be wrong, right? He paced around his living room, mind racing too quick for his liking. That couldn’t be the explanation for today. No way. That’s just ridiculous. There’s no way… no way he-

Then he thought about it. Like, really thought about it. The gears in his head were running at full speed now.

“Oh shit.”

//end of pt 1!!!!! this is already long as is, and i think i’m gonna finish it in another part or so. apologies for any grammatical errors ofc 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[just-some-random-blogger]

The Soup

Super Junior Super Junior x SuJuMaknae!Reader Characters: Super Junior (ot13 [+ SJ-M]) Summary:  Just like the way you need to give someone soup when they're sick, this is how SuJu reacts when you need them. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK, fluff, humor, gnarlyness, etc.

A/N: i need a pick me up so i made this. It’s low key a part 2 to Secrets Of A Maknae, but not really because, well, it’s not HAHAHHAHA, but hello @farewellkorosensei, i’m tagging you cos u said u wanted a part two and i had a part two in mind but then i lost it so now you have this HAHHAHHAHA im sorry im like this

ALSO A DISCLAIMER

THIS IS FICTION IF YALL somehow THOUGHT IT WASNT

none of this is real bro that’s why its an au ?????? ok like ok

Being the only girl in a coed group that’s basically a boy group is not as bad as one may think

Especially since you're the youngest out of everyone, some people just cannot imagine how you do it

Sure like... being the only female means the testosterone thrown your way can be a lot

And there are just some things the guys can't and will never understand

Like how a woman's mind works

But through it all however

You loved being the baby princess

Because you have 13 knights at your side

anD IF EVEN ONE PERSON TRIED TO HURT YOU WELL 

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH 

good luck to them

And in case you were wondering, SuJu is not as sweet as you think

LIKE YES THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY THERE FOR EACH OTHER BUT

here's how each member would react to you needing them

ps yall

dis shiz is HELLLAAAA LONG SO it’s under the cut

Being the eldest meant Leeteuk found everyone as his responsibility

BOY ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN SUPER JUNIOR LAJSIQBSUHWBSLAIDYLAWUDLKHKK;

and to you, who is in his group, their youngest AND only female member, he would drop everything for

Like

Everyone who's watched korean TV knows this

cos yall do tv show hostings togther

and everybody knows how soft he is around you

like i mean he’s naturally caring towards everyone

and he’s normally high-spirited with others

BUT YOU TAKE THE CAKE

like you + him equals shenanigans like firecrackers

he does 8999+ dad jokes when you’re his co-host

someone save s.korea

but let us not forget is is the EPITOME of gentleman

he always offers his arm to you

he takes of his jacket or gets a blanket for you to cover your legs when you sit

errbody is like “stfu, we get it stop flexing”

you two are just like “??????????????????? bro fLeXiNg whUAT?”

“i get yall are married n in love but like. pls keep it under wraps.”

“BROOOO HAHAHHAHAH WE’RE JUST FRIENDS”

and then ????????????

mmmmhmmmm

we believe you

cos its all we can do tho

and i mean you two aren’t married but are so too tbh

ELF’s call you two the parents of SuJu

and think you two are sO ADORABLE IT HURTS

anyway

He is definitely the most understanding with you through the age gap you have

And even if he finds some of your actions odd due to that age gap, he always works through it and tries to think proactively

"What are you doing????????"

"IM DOING A CHALLENGE OPPA YOU WANNA JOIN?!" you say as you attempt to put on makeup with your non-dominant hand

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE'S WALKED INTO YOU DOING SOMETHING WEIRD IS BEYOND FATHOM

But if you need him

He.

Will.

Be.

There.

Doesn't matter if he's hosting 287378 tv shows at the moment

If you call because some loser broke your heart

He's taking the day off

If you call just to check in and he hears even a hint of sickness in your voice

biTCH MOVE OVER. HE GOT SOME PORRIDGE

He would take care of you even if he was also sick

He would find a way to go to you even if you were halfway across the world

You cant even get mad @ him cos you will and have done the same woops

IF SOMEONE EVEN TEST U YOU WILL BREAK THEM 4 LEETEUK

and obvi we have to add

his dog Shimkung prolly loves you more than him, just sayin

She runs to you and ignores Leeteuk when youre around

Because she loves playing with you

And she loves your energy

And the attention you give her

And the treats you bring

And because everyone loves you

And Leeteuk cant even because he loves you too

Woooooops

Yall listen up

If you think heechul is scary by himself

Try bringing up SuJu's maknae up

I dare you

Just mention your name

and he WILLLLLL EXPLODE

Doesnt matter if it's praise

He Will BE TRIGGGGGEERREEDD

there’s literally an entire 20 (and going) part video comp. of his ears steaming when you’re brought up

like the mere thought of you is already to set him off

It doesn't even phase him if the person who spoke of you is younger or older

The death threats he will sputter is limitless

his tongue is sharper than silver

And the deadliest death glare that's thrown may cause a heart attack.

strangely enough though

but knowing heechul, not strange enough

he is ALWAYS THE FIRST to throw you under the bus

during interviews

ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE LIVE I CANT

and yall always bicker about the dumbest shit

everyone is like, “wait, they’re not the ones that are married?”

the answer is no

but honestly,

He's broken up with someone because of you

Because they were mean to you, i mean

And because he was tired of them too hekhek

and lyk Heechul may be short

But nothing is stopping him from getting into a fist fight with someone 1000+ ft taller than him.

Ok.

That may be a slight lie cos he'd prolly call the rest of the guys and 5672 security guards to be on his side.

would honestly fite anyone for you

any AND everyone to be honest

He's also very picky with your boyfriends

"Ya, he looks like a womanizer."

"Ya, he looks like an idiot."

"Ya, he smells like woman's perfume."

"Ya, he smells like cigarettes."

"Ya, I don't understand what you see in him."

"Ya, I can't believe you're wasting your time with him."

"Ya, why are your standards so low when you know a guy like me?"

"Ya,"

"Ya."

"YA!"

"You can do better."

and you’re kinda just like, “y dont u just look for a guy for me? or better yet, if you think you’re so great, why don’t you just date me?”

“pshhhh, as if, i’m too pretty for you, child”

is what heechul always says

to you and to everyone who asks why you aren’t dating

he also does’t ever answer your calls

cos he’s always too busy with his video games or selfies

so you get really frustrated when you call him to come over and he doesn’t call

but like 

he’s somehow already at your house

????

cos you needed him and he knew that

????

idek either bro

he has a sixth sense with ya gurl

HE IS SUCH A DAD TOO

***NOT DADDY 

DAD BECAUse

he will baby the heck out of you every moment he gets

but not in public cos his image

also he’s never one to flaunt even with his personality

he CUDDDLESSSS THE HECK out of you

and kinda makes himself clingy for the sake of endorphins

cos he is your happy pill

and your go to man when the world just sucks hard

he gives pretty solid advice

like the ones where you really need some

because he’s never one to sugar coat and will tell you youre a bitch if you are being one

and because of how he is, when he gets soft with you, you know he means it because he’s a broken brick most of the time

he’s also who you normally vent out your problems and burning frustrations to

not that he listens

you mostly just assault him and he takes it

JOKE HE ASSAULTS YOU RIGHT BACK

but somehow that’s therapeutic for both of you ???

smdh

i’d add heechul’s pets

BUT THAT BOY HAS A ZOO

and maybe i’m just shimkung biased lolol

ANYWAY the gist of you and his pets is that you love them and they love you

the end

bro

don’t even get me started on yesung

you know how he likes to think he’s all that

how he’s like really good at singin

wHICH HE IS UHM HAVE YOU NO EARS

but he’s like actin all airy sometimes

whICH IS Y u and eunhyuk havE A BALL MESSIN WITH HIM

EUNHYUK + U = YESUNG CANNOT LIVE

someone save Yesung from his retarded dongsaengs

lol but eunhyuk comes later

anyway, he’s airy

that side of him comes in handy 4 u

because he makes for a gr8 hypeman

letz be real

SUPER JUNIOR together is the loudest bunch of morons that will hYPE YOU DO YOUR DEATH

but you cant keep havin that when you go to award shows

YOU TRIED IT ONCE AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE AWW DATS CUTE

IT’S FKIN NOT BITSH

try havin your ears pierced with screaming every time you’re even remotely related to what the host is talking about

anyway back to yesung

he be your date to eveything

cos he ALWAYS has time to be all that

i mean you bring specific members to the specific events they fit into

u’ll understand laterz

but mostly yesung is your man for the job

cause he’s always available

you know when he’s not touring or holding concerts

whenever you need a date

he puts on all his extra accessories and offers you his arm on the red carpet

or just holds your hand cause it’s easier on his part

AND BOY HE’S ANNOYINGLY LOUD FOR YOU THE ENTIRE TIME

IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTer if it’s for some black suit event

he’s prOLLY GON BUST A MOVE and promote SJ’s black suit while he’s at it what a turd

he’s so loud in fact that you’ve reached a point past embarrassment

ur like, “Yeah, he’s my loud date. problem?”

honestly, yall have to be dumb not to see how in love you two are

there are theories on how you two ARE the one true pair

like the way yesung looks at you when you’re striking a pose

answering a question

thanking someone

receiving an award

laughing at a joke

existing in general

and you RIGHT BACK @ him

only an idiot would

but haha

nope.

just friends too

Y U ALWAYZ LYIN

ye but itz trueeeeee

no matter how fancy you get

or domestic

cos did i mention you two do the lamest things too

like there is no in between

you go buy groceries

tour Gangnam

hand in hand obviously, duh, you do it every time you’re together

as with every member of super junior but yall already knew

i think i strayed too far from my point

point is he’s there to hang out and do nothing

cos thats what both of you are good for anyway

nothing

ha

btw he’s who you bring shopping for clothes

but only like the nice kind you feel me

you’ll get that in a little while too

but like you always go to high-end stores together

never couture tho cos why ??

and YOU GUYS DO MAKEUP TUTORIALS BECAUSE OMG HE’S SUCH A VAIN AND LIKES TO PRETEND HE CAN ACTUALLY DO MAKEUP UGH I HATE HIM

he’s the one you treat like your diary mostly

the everyday stress you have piled up he’s the one you sift through with

like you tell him all the mundane things

and he’d nod uninterested

and then you’d stop cuz you realiized he doens’t care

and then he’d get mad and be all like “Ya, why’d you stop, what happened to the leaf you kicked?”

i think imma stop here cos you get it

yall good for nothing HAHAHH

you and kangin get into the stickiest shit every time your crackheads team up

and being the loyal one you are

you always point and blame him when things hit the fan

and he’s always like “Me?”

and then points right back at you

you’re reactions to each other are fandom memes fml

and you’d think with all the treachery you pull on each other you would never be able to count on Kangin

but that is so DAMN FAR from the truth

cos this boy is insufferably thoughtful when it comes to you

his favoritism shows

like he’ll sell super junior for a 1 cent

BUT YOU ARE NOT PART OF THAT DEAL

he’s usually the one that shoos the guys off when they’ll all up on your ass

he’s also the one to kick heechul when he gets too annoying

or anyone in general

He’s usually your partner in crime when it comes to screwing up SJ’s image

and you havE THIS SIGNATURE ESCAPE ROUTINE WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS

“it wasn’T ME!” you both shout, and then you jump on Kangin’s back and he runs away.

and yes there is also a compilation of you morons doing that for 15 minutes straight in multiple languages

dumb shit

he’s not as big as teasing you as Heechul

but he usually calls you ugly, that’s who you are to him

if you’re texting someone, it’s usually him

you send him ideas for a prank or sm shit

and he’s like imma do you one better

and then you just burn SM to the group bwahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHA

kidding

not kidding

you guys dont actually get to hang out often

but wHen you do there is a warning signal

and idek y yall pretend to be pranking someone else

but yall end up stabbin each other anyway

But there is also those times when you just cry

and he’s there to listen

he’s not as understanding as his hyungs, cos Leeteuk knows what to do, Heechul knows what to say, and Yesung knows how to remember the important things

but he is always there

he tells you as much as he can

and he aint dumb he can say a lot

but he’ll mostly just try to brighten up your day

by telling you a plan to attack one of the members

ANDDDDDDD

PIGGY BACK RIDES

as ive mentioned before, you jump on his back when you skedaddle out of the scene you just caused

which have caused an uproar from many

your company mostly has to fend off rumors of you and him being together the second most

youll find out who soon enough

but back to you an Kangin

he usually offers to give you a piggy back ride

even tho he doesn’t really want to

when you’re down

cos u smol child like to be carried

ew grow up sis

BTW HE WILL FITE ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THAT

dats all i got fam

you and Shindong work the third most together outside super junior

dats obviously behind Leeteuk

and #2 who will be revealed later

and actually, you two have a very serious and business-like mindset when you’re together

which is why his skillz fly when you collab

you have youtube channel together that’s just u two posting vids you guys want to do

yall fund it urselvs and get some of ur friends to join in

WHICH FANS, ELF AND OTHERWISE LOVE

that’s why you normally go to him when you need help with work

meaning if you’re unsure if you should do a drama he’s going to lay down the points 4 u

he usually acts like your manager

and visits you the most when you’re on set

he’s who de-stresses you when you’re working

and the one who you can count on to back you up when someone at work needs to have a little piece of your mind

he’s who you call up when you want to share an idea or a vision

and is the one to more than others root for you and help you all throughout

whenever works stresses you out,

you two do something fun together

watch a film

annoy one of the other members

etc

you call him up when you have a crazy idea

you call him up when you have a song or plot in mind

you call him up when you are in need of advice

though sometimes his advice is to go to leeteuk or heechul

cos he knows he has limits

which is why you love him

because he’s real and never pretends to  know more than he does

with that said though, he does know a lot

and will tell you all he knows about whatever it is you are asking about

you guys do a lot of live streams as well

sometimes its pointless

sometimes its intorspective

but most times its pointless af

and most times yesung is crying in the distant not-so-distant background

cos like i said yall hangout the most

so sometimes shindong gets into the mix

and you do the weirdest shiz in front of camera

the amount of role plays you’ve done that made viewers go ???? is uncountable smh

like like

where you’re an astronaut

and you need to tell the emperor of goryeo he’s going to be assassinated

and then yesung is the emperor’s horse

and yall die of laughter

or that time yall kissed “by accident”

and none of yall were surprised

and everyoNE WAS LIKE I KNEW IT

and you both ended up laughing

and then everyone was like? >?????

?????

idek either tbh

or that one time you were a cake

as in a chocolate cake

running away from an orge

which was yesung

and shindong was the exterminator that kept hitting him with a pillow whenever he’d talk

i cant believe

you think yesung’s had enough with you and eunhyuk

speaking of...

eunhyuk + u is quite like u + kangin

ppl pray for you to get separated

like pls

l

o

r

d

 a

l

m

i

g

h

t

y

and then when you add DONGHAE

=

the world wants to implode and delete itself

eunhyuk is your usually your fake boyfriend

joke, he’s the fake love triangle interest

you’ll get that later

anyWAY

you say all the time every time you get the chance to that the reason why you dance half as good as you do now is because of eunhyuk

you make his ego fly through the roof

and he’s always like 

dawwwww stop 

no keep going

which is why if for whatever reason you need a dancer or a choreographer or anything between those lines

you call eunhyuk

or jung yunho but that’s not the point

point is the world explodes when there is a sexy suju concept

because you and eunhyuk are always paried up

the flexibility and coordination of your bodies

leaves the world thirsty

like

eunhyuk is pregnant because of you

Dem body rolls

Shimi-shimi

The dehydration is real

you two just do something in sync

AND THE WorLD canNOT

EVEN IF YOU DID IT BY ACCIDENT

and surprise even both of you

the world cannot

whenever you do a show together they make you do so many dances

cant blame them  tho, u two be bomb

point is he’s normally your dance partner in almost everything super junior

and 73% not super junior

but beyond that he is also your bestest buddy

and since it’s a package deal, most of the time donghae is there

yall do everything from wacky antics

to window shopping

to roller coaster riding

to just lying around talking about life

actually, yall pranked the world by saying your were going out once

and thE WORLD BLEW UP

HOW FKING DARE

WE KNEW IT ASHKSDHASDHA

but then yall were like “oh we be playin yall”

EVERYONE WAS SO MAD

LIKE YALL EVEN HAD THE MEMBERS BELIEVING

DONGHAE CRIED BECAUSE HE FELT SO BETRAYED THAT HE DIDNT KNOW

HEECHUL CALLED BULL THO

BUT EVERYONE WAS HELLLLLLA MAD BOUT THIS

When you went sikE Leeteuk wasnt surprised

and everyone gave you shit for so long

Ryeowook vowed to kill both of you

kangin thought it was pretty good though

Eunhyuk and you normally go to parties together

and because you are a d U M b fking drunk

he’s always the one who cleans up after you

because you vomit

and cry

and try to kiss everyone

which is why you have safely kissed everyone in super junior when you're wasted

eunhyuk especially

there are pics to prove it

like

but eunhyuk doesn;t mind

he’d rather be kissed by your vomit flavored mouth than have some ho try to do something to you

he gets really unsettled when other guys come into the picture

he’ll karate chop A morOn

DARE HIM I SWEAR

ya think he be small

but he be strong

those dance moves are his weapon

KA PAW BISH

and we def cant end this without saying

he makes you hangover soup

and all that jazz

when you wanna work out or feel sick

you call eunhyuk

i mean leeteuk loves you but you cant move an inch with that boy

so its eunhyuk

unless you wanna be lazy and need a mom (so leeteuk)

<3

honestly i cheated with that lord almighty part

ARG IM SO SORYY IDEK WHY I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY WHEN I LOVE EUNHYUK SO MUCH

ZHOUMI IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

OR AT LEAST YOU SAY EVERYTIME YOU GET WHEN YOU SEE HIM

which you wish would be a lot more than not

IF you have anything to do in China

it’s zhoumi everyday

he’s who taught you how to speak the language and the one who makes fun of you the most because of your prononciation

but you know obviously its all in good fun

you host some shows together

youve stared in a bunch of chinese mini dramas together

but most of all, you two do a bunch of variety

which people LOVE SO MUCH

liiiiiiiiiike

if you werent so busy with the rest of the world

china would love to keep you for themselves

but anyway back to zhoumi

as i said he be the love of your life

because he’s literally everything you look for in a guy

tall, handsome, smart even though he does DUMB THINGS I CANT BE--

but the only reason why you’re not dating him is

is

is

IS BECAUSE YOU ARENT

I have no explaination

you are dating though

like outwardly

it’s like an unspoken thing

where you are dating but youre not and everyone around you agrees

???

kinda

yeh

with all the chinese variety you’ve done

yall have pretty questionable photos and footage together

like

why is you hand in his mouth

why are you two in one pair of trousers

why are you crying over literal eggshells

why are you laughing at him dressed up in a suit

why is he making heart eyes at you when you;re wearing clown makeup

why is he making heart eyes in general

why are you making heart eyes in general

idk man

what

waht

idek

but what you do know is this

there’s this entire ten page article about how he punch some rich guy in shanghai that tried to get too close and zhoumi threw a punch

yes

out of all the boys in the band who’s said they’d punch a moron on the nose

zhoumi as actually the only one who has had the displeasure of doing just that

It was quite the talk of the town

Honestly many were scared for zhoumi

U and him counted

and the rich moron even threatened to sue

but you pointed out that there was footage in the place and that he’d lose so he should just walk away

of course he walked away

and so yeah

but obviously the sonavbish tried to get rid of any footage

And make it look like an assault

It was to be like an even bigger scandal

but you being a smart bitch that has starred in many dramas with the exact same plot already had a copy and so you won that battle

and zhoumi ‘s career was not ruined

he was even hailed a hero for all the no duh reasons

Yeah he can throw a punch 

zhoumi is so soft for you though

and you for him

he’s usually the one who takes your mind off of things

but you hang out the least out of everyone due to sched differences

that doesn’t mean you dont make time for each other though

OKAY NOW FOR EVERYONE’S FAVORITE BB DONGHAE

donghae that knows all your secrets

knows all your dog stories

all your accidental injuries

all your fails

all your successes

it may take a few moments to jump start and access his mental archive

but its there

and Donghae has been your boyfriend on many many occasions

whether or not it be fake or real the world will never know

you guys are the most intimate with each other

like you guys are so casual

and comfortable

that Leeteuk tells you guys off

HeechUL GETS UNCOMFOTABLE

h e e c h u l

even suju separates you on their own will sometimes

and both of you are like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

donghae is a certified soft boi

and his softness is amplified when you’re together

PDA is second nature to you two

many hand holds

many cuddles

many suggles

platonic?

... sure

and it doesn’t matter where you two are

public

private

interview

korea

japan

america

narnia

nothing stops you from being touchy

people ask you about it all the time

but once again

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway donghae is the go to guy for heart to heart conversations

because he has a heart of gold

the softest purest gold

and he really understands and empathizes

he cries with you over dog movies

and listens to your frustrations

and you listen to him cry

and talk about his feelings

FEELINGS

and you tie it all up by making each other smile

he actually gives really good advice

i mean they all do give good advice at a point

but donghae’s are actually quite on point

even though people think he’s slow

it’s probably because he’s once connected at the hip to you

he’s the one you talk to about boy problems and relationship problems

because he’s the only one that isn’t weirded out about the topic

i mean he’s got a soft spot of you

plus hes really caring

so he’ll listen to whatever topic you want to talk about anyway

he’s really the only who, like, pays attention to all your babbling

most of them tend to overlook that

but never donghae

he’s the guy you call in the middle of the night when you cant sleep

it’s not guaranteed he’ll pick up because i mean duh he has a life

but when he does he really listens

except for when he doesnt

cos he’s tired

(:

and on top of being a cuddly living diary

he’s also your personal massager

like you know those knots on your shoulder

what knots on your shoulders

he massages them away because

youre his ultimate weakness

when you need him he’ll be there in a heartbeat, racing leeteuk to get to you

although he’s not as motherly as leeteuk

he’s more of a brother really

like he is motherly

he does baby you

I MEAN THEY ALL BABY YOU YOU’re THE MAKNAE DUH

but

i can

no actually

i cant explain

because i got nothing

AGAIN WHICH IS FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I LOVE DONGHAE

DHADJ:ASD

YOU AND SIWON ARE THE POWER COUPLE EVERYONE WISHES THEY COULD BE

yall do the most goals things ever

and end up posting it on insta like the aesthetic things you are

he’s the guy you call when you wanna go out and tour

and you guessed it

he’s the second person in super junior you work most with out of the group

can you imagine the power you two hold in dramas

sometimes you do cameos in his shows

sometimes its the other way around

YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY THE ONLY ONES WITH FOOTAGE OF KISSING

honestly it was a make out but you know

donghae’s fine

Siwon and you travel a lot

in a small scale sense where you just go around on a food trip

or going on a short vacation to another country

dont tell the others tho

YOU DO CHARITIES TOGETHER

and its honestly the cutest thing ever like siwon and his charities ad;hkasd

you two have this meme where its just a compilation of you two lauging

cos yall get WEIRD when you laugh together

your laugh is weird in general

and super junior is weird in general

but you and siwon laughing is just weirder

Whenever you have to go somewhere where you think youre going to die because of the formality

you bring siwon along because he’s the most businessman looking out of everyone

plus he holds a rich man aura

because he is

so

haha

honestly he should just buy SM wtf

He is also the one you go to for advice

because sometimes crying with donghae isn’t really the way you want to go

he’s normally your outside opinion guy

when you normally have a course of action already in your head

but youre just not sure how to go

he gives solid points

and he’s quite firm with his answers

when you need him he doesn’t come as quick as leeteuk or donghae

but he’s the one who leaves last

because he’s just thorough like that

like if you have a mental break down

he’ll come when he can and make sure to make extra time for you

because he wants to both make it up to you and make sure you’re alright

also

i should add

that on top of being very aesthetic together with your black tie events and whatnot

yall make post memes of each other often on your own accounts SO MUCH

ELFs dig it

iconic really

ryeowook actually hates you

like

he hates you because you have such a beautiful voic

he hates that youre pretty

he hates that youre talented

HE HATES THE COMPETITION

but it is also what completes him

It adds to his purpose in life

To cruSh u

N remind u who is butter

yall bicker the most out of everyone

yall raise your voices at each other the most

you always attack each other

AND SOMETIMES KYUHYUN PITS YOU TWO TOGETHER AND

it’s too much to handle

but when you catch on that you’re being played

You and ryeowook teamup

AND KYUHYUN PAYS

EVERYONE THAT CROSSES YOU PAYS

BWHAHAHAHAAHHA

the sass is real when you’re together

THE AMOUNT OF SHADE you throw

makes both of your skin visibly darker to a point

he’s mostly the one to call you out when you and kangin are doing something dumb

or when you and donghae start getting cuddly

or when you just show your face to him

because yes he hates you

BUT

if he hears anyone say anything REMOTELY BAD ABOUT YOU

he wILL attacK

if he thinKS SOMEONE’s BEING TOO sarcASTIC

HE WILL CUT THEM

because only HE can be mean to you

which is why they actually think you’re dating

pipe the HECK down if you have something to say

and the feeling is mutual for you

if anyone says anything bad about ryeowook OR ANY OF YOUR BOYS

they’re dead

cold

but sometimes both of you hate super junior together

and theres a bunch of videos of you questioning why you’re both still here

when he’s not hating you though

he’s violently supporting you

VIOLENTLY

have you heard this man scream

HE SCREAMS HIGHER THAN ANY FEMALE FAN COULD

and LOUDER

if you’re doing something live

heS ONLY THERE TO SCREAM FOR YOU

then he’s out

him and yesung are on a roll when you get an award

and on your live performances

theres normally a cut scene to him in the crowd holding a big ass sign that says something mean

like I HOPE YOU TRIP in bold letters

but in fine print is continues IN SUCCESS AND GOOD HEALTH

cheeeeeeeeeezzzzyyyyyy

but that’s ryeowook for ya

Everyone's confused how you are able to be so violent and mean

But also so cheesily soft

Honestly u just weird

And so is ryeowook

when you need advice he fights you first

"How could you be so dumb to have a problem like that"

then,he'll tell you what to do

OR

If he can, he fights your problem

and then solves it for you that way

Thats how it is, violently soft hek

So serious

ANYWAY KYUHYUN ALSO HATES YOU 

DUH

but unlike ryeowook he sometimes actually make people end up wondering if youre dating

Cause ryeowook and u be mean but not so lovey dovey

But you and kyuhyun are mean and lovey dovey

Like

he makes sure you suffer

suffer in embarrassment in live television

and will do everything in his power to get you and ryeowook to stab each other

but if you squint hard enough

he acts hella whipped for you to be pretty damn honest

anyone with a brain can put together that he’s basically like a child

a child being mean to his crush because he doesn’t know what to do

EW FEELINGS

but yall know what

even though ya both be also killing each other

THE BALLADS YOU GUYS HAVE

I cannnnOt even

is OFF THE CHARTS TEAR JERKING

like

any drama that has been blessed with your vocals

----i meaaaan-----

your song can save any drama

becAUSE

and yall do a lot of live performances together

uhm did I mention you’re basically part of the sub-unit KRY

actuallY JK nvm, it’s you and kyuhyun alone actually

just you and him

hitting those notes like no other

AnD theN theRE was This incident

that you had to perform in on a live awardshow

BUT you Got INTO an aCCIDENT

but like a vocal accident

as in you lost your voice

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

kyuhyun covered for you duh

because  even if he wants you to suffer in public

he wants it to be by his hand

and not because you ended up getting sick suddenly

I do have to say he’s not very reliable tbh

for the sole reason he wishes to be the true maknae and to desTROY U

yes

that

and EW FEELINGs

“are you sure you hate her though” -literally everyone

“YES!” kyuhyun would answer without missing a beat

“seem like bull by ok”

THE MEMES YOU TWO HAVE AS WELL

THE MEMES

the there can only be one

i would’ve killed you if the lights were closed

excuse you, trash

i sarangHATE U Bitch

boi i cant wtf am i doin

and again

i cannot stress enough that kyuhyun wants your death by his hand

so if someone else comes for you

he’s going to attack that person more than they have you

whenever people ask him about you to, he gets all protective and scary

in summarry, he wants death but not really

yikes

heNRY IS THE WORST

he’s the only one who actually treats you like youre a child

wtf

like you two are the closest in age

the audacity

the nerve

i cant believe

he literally pulls the Oppa card

every

frikin

wHeRE

LISTEN BOI SHE BE GROWN

he literally holds your hand when you cross the street

he asks you if you’ve eaten

he coddles you, especially around others

he brings you juice on set if ever you appear on the same show

LieK

he’s so embarrassing

he be actin as if he’z ya dad

liIKEEE

get a grip

but as embarrassing as he is

he is also your best friend

and he talks fondly about you everywhere

literally never talks shit about you

unless its true tho lololo

and for real is probably literally in love with you

but is like “I’m her older brother tho so”

acts like an older brother 23/6

and the remaining time like a sweet and ExTreMely embarrassing boyfriend

will do anything for you to be honest

YOU TWO GO ABROAD TOGETHER A LOT AND ARE GOALS

if you and kyuhyun do lame things

YOU AND HENRY LIVE IT UP

yall do weird shit online too

and yall have done questionable things on variety

korean

chinese

wherever

which is why you’ve hosted a variety special before

IT WAS ICONIC

if you ever feel down

or sad

or angry

or frustrated

henry is the guy to call to be reminded of the brighter things

like THIS BOY IS ACTUAL SUNSHINE HELP

nothing is impossible or gloomy with henry

and yall thrive in all the crack-ish things you do together

yes

end

[serenagaywaterford]

Hey there, I don’t know if you care so much about Rita but I’m curious how Serena’s and Rita’s encounter would be if they’d meet each other in Canada. With Serena being under arrest, if Rita would visit her, I wonder how it all would go down. I get the feeling Rita understands Serena and has compassion for her (at least regarding Nicole), they did some bonding it seemed at Serena’s mom’s house (but then again I never know what these character are really thinking lol), [1/3]

so now with the roles kinda reversed I wonder if she would try to help Serena in any way or just be happy that she got punished. What are your thoughts on this, what relation do you think Serena and Rita really have? And having a Martha in Canada they will probably ask her a lot of questions and especially about the Waterfords so I wonder if she will throw Serena under the bus as well or defend her in some sort of way. [2/3]

I mean Serena must be one of the main reasons why they out of everybody sent Rita to Canada right? But at the same time I can’t really see them giving Serena a good redemption arc in the show... uhhh Idk I’m not good at analyzing lol so I’d love to know what your thoughts are ’cause I really enjoy your theories and ideas for the show otherwise. And just in general what do you think they’re gonna do with Serena in the next season? xx [3/3] 

---

Honestly...

Oof. I think I would have had an answer had it not been for the fucked up way they handled Rita in the finale. Like, all through S1-S2 we saw Rita and Serena with a tense sort of wavering respect at times, and clearly a master/slave aspect at others. Like Serena was always nicer to Rita than June, but then Rita never got under her skin like June did, almost immediately. And they had their little moments in... S2 (I think?) when they had a drink together.

I mean, I will be totally honest, I never could read Rita properly I don’t think. Like, I can’t tell where she stands on the whole Gilead thing. Obvs she doesn’t like being a slave, but she also doesn’t seem that concerned by it either. I can’t tell when she’s talking to Serena about her son if she’s in favour of him dying for Gilead or not. I mean, either way, it’s not like she could tell Serena she hates Gilead so maybe I”m thinking about this for no reason. Maybe I’m not even remembering the exchange correctly.

Like, as much as Stockholm Syndrome isn’t real, if anybody has it, I think it would be Rita. Like the way she behaves towards Fred especially. It’s above and beyond just basic “I need to be obedient and nice for my own survival”. It’s different than June’s obvious ploys and emotional manipulations to survive (with Serena). That bit in 2x08 where’s she’s like to Fred, “I made your favourite” and... did that weird meek thing. I dunno. I can’t explain why it disturbed me so much. She was like a little kid with him.

But I also never got the impression she particularly cared about Serena. Not in any compassionate way at any rate. She did what she had to and put up with Serena out of necessity. She certainly didn’t perform the same affectionate shit June did.

Until... S3. When suddenly Rita is like some doting, lovey best pal to Serena who Serena takes everywhere with her. (Which and I must digress rn, MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. Why would Serena, who is going to her mother’s house full of servants need another one? Meanwhile Fred who is literally incapable of doing any chores himself doesn’t get his Martha? Why wouldn’t Serena just use her mother’s Marthas, and Rita would stay to serve Fred since he’s a man and doesn’t do housework at all? The only thing I can think of is Serena specifically demanded Rita not be stuck with Fred and Rita is ...thankful? But hey, I’m just literally pulling this nonsense from my ass.) 

And Rita is so kind to Serena all through S3, comforting her, playing along, exchanging knowing glances when men say bad things, and even defending Serena...ish. Then suddenly she’s cackling like “haha Serena is in prison stupid bitch!” when around June, right after she’s like “She was nice when she said goodbye.”

And can we discuss that goodbye scene cos THAT WAS FUCKED UP, BRAH. how could ANYBODY see a Wife and Martha saying good bye like THAT and not be like, “Hmm, this seems rather odd they’d be so intimate.” Oh, what’s a little tender forehead rest between a slave and her mistress these days anyway? You do that shit with good friends and lovers. Not the housekeeper. (Also anybody with half a brain would see that and say, “That is no normal goodbye. That’s a forever sort of goodbye.”)

I genuinely have no clue how they’ll write Rita in S4. This show is so out to lunch and inconsistent they could have her go either way. I think, cos it’s a soap opera, it’ll be Rita turning on Serena, if anything. I don’t think Rita will help her in any way. Like you said, they’re not gonna give Serena any sort of redemption at all, and they’re gonna force this dumbass “trial” and “war crimes” bullshit down the audience’s throats. So, an easy way to drag that out is have Rita give “evidence” against Serena. And prolly some crazy ass horrible shit they’ve just made up to make her even more unlikeable. (So, hence, why I won’t watch. If I don’t see it, it’s not canon to me!)

I think they’re going to make the worst possible decision and have Serena on trial for S4. It’ll be a bunch of stupid, unresearched, soap opera-esque, TV law crapolla every 3 episodes (cos we must focus on The June Staring Angrily Show more). I don’t think they’re gonna send her back to Gilead; or ever reunite her with June. Ever. I think that ship has sailed, far away. (Not just cos of how they distant they are physically, but they’re estranged personally... cos of how savagely they tore them apart emotionally/thematically.) I think she’s gonna die in S4 tbh. In Canada, or as soon as she gets extradited back to Gilead after a big, boring ass, unrealistic trial at the end of the season. I say this simply cos of everything Miller has said so far and he has some stupid boner for a legal procedural despite knowing precisely -17,203 things about the law and we know he vehemently hates Serena and doesn’t want to give her anything even resembling a good character arc.

So, yeah, I think Rita will turn completely on Serena. And Serena will just be dragged through the mud all season until they kill her off. And all the fans will cheer cos the bad woman is dead.

And that is my super-depressing take on what S4 is gonna be like. No faith in this show. None.

[oceanbreaks]

they call me an ugly white man’s whore … but HE KINDA CUTE Ok , even tho my friend said he looks like ned from horton hears a who and i can’t stop thinking about it … ANYWAYS ! tl;dr is below but a right mess , so apologies in advance . also wanted connections for ALL THREE OF MY CHARAS ! pls feel free to come and plot with me i want plots with every single one of y’all ‘cos im Greedy:tm: , alternatively , like this post and i’ll come to you !

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ paddy considine + male + he/him — have you met ethan rylance? they are a forty three year old known around town as the entangled. they’ve been in the gang life for seven years, and currently work for the savages as a medic. they are a bisexual virgo, which means they are steadfast + tender, as well as reticent + weary. annotated articles, the crunch of leaves under chelsea boots, reluctant acceptance . × tasha. twenty. she/her. est. ×

⁃ [ mconahey hey hey vc ] alright , alright , alright … this bitch never knew his father ! probably for the best, but surprise he was off in valdez up to no good, him and his dearest ma were in the city of stars ( angels ? ) LA ! his mother was an aspiring actress who never made it, but did her best to support him all the same . it made him kinda v independent , with a lot of time to himself which he spent mostly in nature b/c la has some rly nice hiking trails omg

⁃ suffers from ptsd stemming from a car accident he was in when he was like sixteen, resulting in the death of his step-dad and a rly bad stammer that he went to therapy for . 

⁃ mr. ethan was always curious abt his but his mom was adamant on telling him anything until he was eighteen . when he turned eighteen , his mom was like ye he’s in valdez i don’t talk to him but like do what u will with that info !

⁃ he takes a trip down to valdez to discover his dearest daddy is just bumming around total deadbeat… Sad  but ethan so very longing for that father figure keeps in touch, and gets to know him and for the most part rly likes him . discovers he has an alcohol abuse problem , most likely stemming from ptsd from vietnam .

⁃ anyhaps he doesn’t stay in valdez b/c he’s like nah .. not my scene lmao , but goes to school a couple states over in arizona , so he can be close to his momther and father … aw , but closer to mom cos she’s more Valid but he keeps in regular contact with his father and tries to see him at least once a year

⁃ he studies psychology and loves it , loves school , becomes a counselling psychologist specifically for those with ptsd ( but also has the right requisites for like psychiatry cos he took bio or whatever life sci requisite u need idk ) 

⁃ ok bare with me cos im not even sure on the details, but in the span of him first meeting his pops and now , dad ends up in jail ( he owed money to the savages, so did a job to pay it off which included a home invasion with several other ppl in which one person died, even tho he wasn’t the one who shot him , he took the fall cos he was pretty expendable considering he wasn’t actually part of the gang ) , ethan offers to help with costs of legal advice and his sentence is reduced to like ten years

⁃ n his dad is like hey im out ! come chill xd and ethan’s like ok !! and he comes and it turns out his dad’s been out of jail for like six months and has already amounted a debt against him so he’s doing jobs for the savages again ? and is like lol wanna help ,, , and a 35 year old ethan still vying for his father’s acceptance is like ok .. . ig

⁃ so he delivers some drugs ( his dad comes up with some bs excuse like the ppl he’s meant to deliver to will recognize him n beat him up or something ) but apparently it was the savages set up to kill his pops 1) b/c he’s a general nuisance and 2) so he wouldn’t speak out against them regarding the home invasion as he’d been trying to get outside law help to prove his innocence even tho it never amounted to anything

⁃ so instead ethan gets brutally beat up instead and nearly killedt until the assassin or whoever is like .. . im p sure the target’s meant to be older ghjfkfgh ( this wouldn’t be like assassin incompetence they were prolly just told kill the guy who shows up with the drugs xoxo ) the ptsd is NOT thriving ... 

⁃ as soon as he’s out of the hospital ethan goes stupidly all high and mighty to the savages hq being like wtf is up kyle , and they’re basically like,  if u wanna protect ur dad u gon have to stick around in valdez and mr. deadbeat dad over this is putting on the puppy eyes like pls dont let me die lol and reluctantly he’s like aight fam i got u

⁃ SO NOW HIS DAD’S JUST LIKE A 60 YEAR OLD SOD deadbeating around valdez basically trapping him and which rly shows his father’s true colours ( also did he kno that ethan cld’ve gotten killed .. maybe so ) and yet the amount of reverence ethan still holds for him is .. Crackhead level

⁃ honestly it’s been ten years and doesn’t know if the threat still stands but valdez has kinda been ingrained in him at this point and although he wants to leave he can’t bring himself to , it’s also why he doesn’t switch to the cobras even though he has plenty reason to  - feeling like participation in the feud would only ensnare him more

CONNECTIONS

crack open a cold one : he loves beer okay .. let him crack open a cold one with the boys . that’s it , that’s the connection .

person who tried to assassinate him : he probably hates him ! still has nightmares about that night , so thanks for that ! wld be a rly cool connection to take up , and just wanna emphasize that whoever higher up probably just told the assassin to kill the person who showed up with the drugs so /technically/ it’s not their fault, but it is THEIR FAULT that they’re a frikken murderer ! all my charas a cowards , we been knew .

person who killed someone in the home invasion thingy resulting in his father going to jail : ethan probably hates this person too ! he has a lot of hate to go around .

hook-up : he’s 45 , not dead … though he’s not the biggest age gap stan , again , he’s a COWARD .

ex from before valdez : he probably lost contact with everyone when he came to valdez , sad , idk how this one would work honestly, but if they’re not from valdez hmu we can figure something out and hc !

ex in general : can healthy relationships exist in valdez ? exactly . someone who tries to convert him to cobra-hood omg : i mean he has a lot of reason to but just never bit the bullet idk !

therapy, bitch ! : come talk to him , let him counsel u uwu , need an unbiased ear ? he’s ur man !

FRANCES !

law clerk or crooked cop : this is kinda integral to her plot, basically the person who made sure she didn’t go to jail when she accidentally killed her father , i feel like frances would feel super indebted to them , but also hold the slightest bit of resentment towards them because she feels as though she deserves to go to jail .

college friend : if there are any students in this hizzy house , hmu ! someone she partied with in the brief time she was in college , and then also someone who introduced her to the clubs . can be the same person or someone else , but also someone she loves dancing with . also someone she can be a nerd with and like rent out a space or come to the club when it’s not open and learn dumb dance routines like the one from riverdale dhjfgf , I JUST REALLY WANT HER TO LEARN THE DANCE OK !

friend who comes over to dinner : listen her grandma worries abt her a lot ok and is always like do u even have friends lmao, so GIMME SOMEONE who comes over to dinner and says yes when gma offers a second serving and quells her grandma’s worries about frances .

BOBBY !

childhood friends : okay consider this, listen to sticks ’n’ stones by jamie t , and give me a friendship based on that ? basically kids who just got into a bunch of shit together ,  mostly this iconic lyric : and rushed back to your momma’s flat , it’s the only place but home i feel relaxed enough to crap , i know it sounds crude , but there’s something to that . since bobby was basically jesus of suburbia , it’d be cool if the friend was probably like had some connection to the trouble ja feel .

fellow movie buff : god this’d be so pretentious i hate it already, but gimme someone who also nuts over old film , and criticizes blockbusters or in opposition someone who argues for the validity of marvel movies shdfjdf - it’s jus a fun dynamic , movie night , CUDDLING , POPCORN ! getting blasted and watching requiem for a dream , then going on a bad trip because they got blasted and watched requiem for a dream fhgdf

drug dealer : a man likes his drugs , we been knew . pretty basic . but ! uk what would be cool , if the drug dealer was older / same age as him and it was the dealer who got him into the gang , uwu solidarity ! i figured they had like a brief romance , remained good friends idk , we could figure it out . but if not , just regular drug dealer . he’s like hit me with the good stuff , he’ll take anything he’s not picky , just an addict .

[hornsbeforehalos]

Whiskey, Sweetheart: Part 1

Pairing: Norman Reedus x OFC, Past JDM x OFC Warnings: RPF, Language, Breif Violence, Jealousy, Angsty.

Series Masterlist

Summary: After Jeffrey’s neglect pushed her away and into the arms of his best friend, Norman and Ky have to figure out if their new relationship can withstand not only the aftermath of the unspeakable crime they commited to keep her safe, but the backlash that comes from being co-workers with a very betrayed Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

A/n: This is the Sequel to Anytime, Sweetheart and The Conquests of Norman Reedus. You dont have to read all of Conquests to understand, but at least the finale:  this

TAGS: ( I tagged everyone from A-S, please let me know if you want to be untagged for this series.)

@elinyaes   @jml509  @jesbakescookies @daddy-kink-confirmed @aquivercactus   @xagateophobiax @sorenmarie87 @missghoul18 @jdmfanfiction @jeffreydeanneganstrash @through-thesilver-lining @beffyblueeyes @docharleythegeekqueen @make-things-beautiful2 @srj1990  @dragongirl420  @reedusteinrambles  @youandyourstupidrope @addiction-survivor25 @fireheartart @redm81  foreveror-never @zombeeemomeee @blacklightguidesnic @jackybehappy @jodiereedus22

‘Fuck, Fuck fuck fuck’ I thought to myself as the memories of the night before flooded through my body, the image of Norman tangled between my legs and him calling out my name making my eyes widen and burn as I stared at Jeffrey in front of me, my fingers grasping onto the sheet wrapped around my body with one hand while gripping the door handle for dear life to keep from passing out. His eyes widened themselves as he took in my state of dress, the sheet falling slightly in my surprise. 

“You fuckin’ kidding me?” He instantly roared, pushing past me into the room to yank the covers off Norman, who was instantly shocked awake. “What the fuck?” Norman barked, jumping up out of the bed and holding his hands up in defence, “Look, Jeff, I-” “You what, Bubba? Please fucking tell me what I’m lookin’ at right now.” Jeff growled, glare shifting back and forth between Norman and I. “It’s-” He started, but I cut him off, “We fucked.” I stated bluntly, letting the sheet drop from my body as I worked my way around the room collecting my clothes, “I wasn’t gonna tell you, but since you so rudely woke me up this morning, I really don’t give a fuck.” Jeffrey spun on his heels to point an accusing finger at Norman as I began getting dressed, “You fucked my fuckin’ woman, Norm?” Norman raised his hands back up in surrender, stuttering something that sounded like, “I-I-I…” “I should have fuckin’ known,” Jeffrey seethed, shaking his head before turning his fiery stare back to me, chuckling out a breathy laugh,“After Rob, after Corey…” I cocked an eyebrow at him as I finished pulling my dress down down around my torso, “What’s that supposed to mean, Jeffrey?” “Do I need to spell it out for you, little girl? I should have known you two would pull some shit like this.” “The fuck that’s supposed to mean?” Norman growled, puffing his chest out dominantly as he took a step forward. Jeffrey snorted, scrubbing his jawline with his finger tips in amusement, “I shoulda known never to consider you a fuckin friend, Norman. I’ve been fucked over by friends before but this?” He shook his head again, waving a finger back and forth between the two of us again, “This is a new fuckin’ low, bro.” “Aye, man, fuck you. You’re the one that ditched her ass on her fuckin’ birthday, and every fuckin’ time before. You’re the one that pushed her away.” “The fuck you just say to me, boy?” Jeffrey growled, pressing his own bowed out chest against Norman’s intimidatingly. “I’m not a fucking boy, number one.” Norman squinted, “and number two, yeah, I fucked Ky. Hell fucking yeah I did,” His eyes roamed up and down Jeff’s face and neck before meeting his eyes again, “And I’m gonna do it again, too. Cuz you not knowin’ how to treat a fuckin’ woman ain’t my problem. Don’t play the victim when you know for a damn fact you put her through Hell.” My mouth dropped open as Jeffrey’s fist flew and cracked Norman against his cheekbone as the other man grabbed the front of his shirt. They wresteled each other to the floor of the hotel room and I instantly ran over to try to pull Jeffrey off of Norman. “Gonna need another fuckin’ eye socket when I’m done, bitch,” Jeffrey roared as his fist contacted Norman’s face again, a gurgle of pain erupting from the man as he landed his own blow against Jeff’s jaw. “Fuck you, Morgan.” he gritted and punched again. “Jeff, fucking stop!” I screeched, tugging on the collar of his jacket, trying to pull him off, “Fucking quit!” Jeffrey’s elbow rose back and came incontact with my chest, pushing me back as he stood on his feet and grabbed my upper arm, “Get the fuck off me,” Before I could even think my own fist was colliding with Jeffrey’s nose, blood immediately pouring out as he shoved me away from him and against the wall. I hit the drywall with a thud, my head connecting and causing me to see stars momentarily. I slipped down onto the floor, Jeff looming over me menacingly. “You stupid fucking bitch,” He spat, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, “What did I do to deserve this, huh? “Well, I don’t know, Jeff, let’s fuckin’ see,” I started, rage giving me the strength to stand on my feet again, “In the month that it’s been since I fucking killed a man, I haven’t seen you for shit, you haven’t even asked me how the fuck I’ve been the entire time I’ve been in Vancouver, and then, then, after all that bullshit, you miss my fucking birthday? No!” “You’re the one that wanted to be big billy bad ass with that guy! I told you I was gonna take care of it!” He gritted back, “When, Jeff? When he fuckin’ killed me?"I growled, tilting my head in anger and squinting at him, "And let’s not fuckin’ forget Tanya, now, shall we?” He snatched me up by the front of my t-shirt and pulled me to his chest, “Don’t even fuckin’ start." 

"What are you gonna do, Jeffrey?” I snorted, looking up at him unafraid, “Hit me?” “Get your fuckin’ hands off of her,” Norman roared, shoving Jeff from the side and ripping him away from me. They fell to the floor again and grappled, exchanging fists once more before the door was finally busted in and 3 Dallas police officers barged through. 

Naturally, because Dallas is what Dallas is, all three of us were handcuffed and thrown in the back of police cars and carted off to Lew Sterrit, the officers explaining “our celebrity” status required them to take us some place more “secure” Whatever. It took aproximately 4 hours for Josh, Jensen, and Jared to show up, and in the mean time I could still hear Norman and Jeff through the thin walls of the interregation rooms they were holding us in. “Jesus fucking Christ, you two, shut the fuck up!” I shouted loudly enough for them to hear me. “Fuck you!” I heard Jeffrey roar back. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to her like that, fucker!” “Fuck you too!” “I swear to fucking god I’m going to kill both of them,” I mumbled lowly to myself, irritation at the situation spilling over. When my brothers did finally get around to bailing us out, the looks on their faces told me all I needed to know about how they were feeling. “What the fuck happened, Ky?” Jared asked, confusion and irritation flitting across his face. “Yeah, explain to everyone why they had to bail us out.” Jeffrey spat as we exited the building. “Because you’re a fucking psycho.” I hissed, head snapping towards Jeff as we made our way to the cars. He barked out a laugh and moved his hand to cover his mouth, cocking an amused eyebrow, “You fuckin’ serious right now?” Norman instantly gave Jeff a shove against the car, Jared and Jensen moving instantly to pull him off, “Dude, we’re in the fuckin’ jail parking lot.” Jared reminded him. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to her like that. That’s why you lost her right there,” Norman gritted out, huffing and puffing his chest out as the boys held him back from Jeff, who was equally seething, “You act like she don’t have emotions, which she does if you took three seconds to look her in the face instead of eye-balling her fucking tits!" 

Jeffrey growled at the man but didn’t advance, shaking his head as he opened Jared’s car door and got in the passengers side. "Josh’s got to get home, so you two are riding with me,” Jensen glared, fingers directed towards me and Norman “Yessirr” I snorted, giving him an exaggerated salute as I crawled into the back seat of his convertible. 

“Kylin, you know what people are gonna say about this,” Jensen scolded after I spilled the beans and told him wht happened on our way to my parents’ house. “So? People already say shit about us. Jeff’s the one that fucked that shit up, not me.” I assured, crossing my arms over my chest with a huff. “You’re not exactly a ray of sunshine, either, princess,” Jensen retorted, earning him a snort from Norman. “Look, Jeff and I are done, Norm and I like each other..or whatever this is,” I explained, shifting in the backseat to lean between the driver and passenger sides, “I’m not gonna feel bad for shit, and Norman shouldn’t either.” “Norman should probably feel a little bad,” Jensen contested, waving his hand back and forth in that “prolly about half way” motion. “And I fuckin’ do, okay? You think I wanted to fall for my best friends girl?” Norman shook his head, running his index and thumb over his chin as he gazed out the building whizzing by as Jensen drove. The dark purple bruise on his cheekbone flowering against his flushed face, “I feel like a fuckin’ asshole, man. I’m supposed to be Jeff’s friend, your friend.” He turned his head back to motion to me, “And that moment in the airport when you hung up that phone and then told me you were really through, allI could think about was how I might have a chance.” The car was silent for a moment as I sat back in my seat, sighing slightly at the idea that Norman felt like he was betraying his friend. I suddenly felt like I pushed him into this, and tears welled up and threatened to spill over as my lip quivered. “I"m sorry, Norm. It was a mistake.” “No, it wasn’t, babe. It’s a shitty situation, yes, but I do care about you, and I’m not going to do what he did.” Jensen nodded his head in approval as he cleared his throat, “Look, sis, this is soemthing that the two of you are gonna have to work through. Shit’s about to rain down on all three of ya'lls heads and I’m guessing I'mma get dirty in the process. Keep shit as low key as possible for now, would be my advice, but you know that shit don’t usually work that way.” The rest of the ride back was quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts until we pulled into the driveway. Jensen put the car in park and turned to Norman, speaking in a low, stern voice, “Why don’t you go on inside for a minute, I need to have a word with my sister.” Norman nodded his head, glancing at me for a second with a small smile before exiting the vehicle and walking towards the entrance of the house. “What, bubs, spit it out,” I urged, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms again. “Look, I’m not going to lecture you or fight with you like last time, but this shit is bad, Ky. I mean, come one, Norman? That’s worse than if you'da run off with Corey.” “Jesus,” I huffed, shaking my head in annoyance, “It just….happened, okay? I’ve loved Norm for a long time, but I didn’t think of it as anything because of Jeff. Thought it was a friendship thing since he’d been there with me through so much shit. Then I was drunk and thinking and realized that the reason why I loved him was because he’d been there for me through all of it. He’s the one that stayed up with me when Jeffrey was with that bitch, He’s the one that made sure I was taken care of constantly and never needing anything. He’s the one that eventually showed me the fucking truth. He’s given me so many fucking opportunities to be independent, Jensen,” the tears were back now, and I sniffed the snot that was trying to run down my nose and wiped my eyes, “and not to mention Vegas….Jesus, he helped me fuckin’ kill a man.” “I know, sis…” Jensen whispered, nodding, “He’s the only one that’s checked up on me since then. Jeffrey avoided me, Corey’s still ignoring me…"I snorted again, wiping more tears, "Norman’s the one who actually made it a point to come to my fucking birthday party. Jeffrey just covered up his neglect with a fucking Camero and a text message.” “It’s a pretty sweet car, though.” Jensen reasoned, “Fuck yeah it is, and I’m keeping it too.”

“Everything okay?” Norman asked as I walked out into the backyard where he was sitting with my mom, smoking a cigarette. I plopped myself down beside him and stole one out of his pack, sighing deeply on exhale once it was lit.

“Yeah, I’m just tired. I don’t know what to think of this birthday.” I chuckled, small smile crossing my face as he switched hands holding his smoke to tangle his free fingers with mine. “Ya’ll are just adorable.” My mom cooed, smug smirk on her face like she’d just got done watching The Notebook or something. “You know, it is still technically your birthday,” Norman snorted, taking another drag as he squeezed my fingers, “Let’s go out tonight, we can go to that little bar we went to last time we were in Deep Ellum.” “Ooo that sounds like a lovely idea, dear.” My mom agreed. ”You’ve gotta  black eye, I look like shit. I’m good.” “It is your birthday, babe. Plus, I’ll wear my shades and no one will even know.” Norman insisted, pushing his sunglasses onto his nose to show that it covered the bruising on his face. I rolled my eyes.

“Go have fun, Kylin.” My mother urged.

“Fiiiine, okay. Something low-key though. I’ve had enough excitement for the day.”

We wound up at a little metal bar in Deep Ellum called July Alley, and sat in a back booth snuggled closley together after after pizza at the resturant next door. “I swear, I’m just gonna start callin’ you Whiskey, Sweetheart,” Norman chuckled as I was delivered my 5th shot of crown by the waitress giving him googly eyes that he wasn’t paying attention to. “I’m pretty sure it already makes up for about a third of my blood supply,” I snorted before knocking the shot back and humming at the delicious burn of the amber liquid, “It’s the only thing my stomach can stand to drink.” Norman barked out a laugh and shook his head, his fringe falling into his eyes under his Snapback, “Mine too, probably after hanging out with you so much.” “What can I say, I’m a bad influence,” I giggled sweetly. “Yeah, you are.” He agreed, throwing an arm behind my shoulders and reeling me into his side to kiss the crown of my head, “Happy birthday, princess.” “Thank you,” I smiled up at him, my fingers moving a piece of hair out of his face gently before running down the scruff decorating his cheek and jaw, “Thanks for everything.” “Ain’t a problem, girl,” He assured, his pretty chrystaline eyes dancing around my face, “I ain’t goin’ no where.” I smiled back at him and continued to play with his beard, running my thumb over his cheekbone as his free hand found its own way into my hair. The next thing I knew he was pulling my face towards his, touching our lips together in the first kiss since the night before. It was warm, inviting, and safe-feeling, something I’d been looking for for a long time. He tasted like cigarettes and Jack Daniels, with a little bit of garlic left over from the pizza. I smirked into his mouth as his tongue danced with mine, reveling in the low moan vibrating his chest as he tightened his fingers into my curls to pull me closer. HIs hand around my shoulders squeezed gently before he pulled away from me slowly, our lips finally breaking apart as our eyes opened and we stared at each other adoringly. 

“I’m so happy I can do that now.” He breathed, heart beat still steadily thumping against my own, “Don’t have to just think about it anymore.” “Me too,” I grinned back, face reddening suddenly under his soul-baring eyes. I nuzzled myself into his neck as he pulled out his phone, opening the selfie-camera and holding it back to get us both in the shot. I shook my head but smiled for the camera, followed by another with us both making goofy faces. He had shoved his sunglasses on to cover his black eye, and he played with the filters on his phone, giving it a spooky kind of vibe before opening instagram and to post it. “Watch your caption.” I chuckled. “Pffft, what do you think I am, stupid?” He snorted back, cocking an eyebrow at me as he typed out the caption. “Happy birthday to one of my best friends.” “Awh, I’m one of your best friends, Reedus?” I teased, nudging him with my shoulder. “Shut up,” he blushed, shaking his fringe infront of his eyes to try and hide, “You know you are.” “Still nice to hear it, though.” I grinned at him, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed the crown of my head flippantly before tucking his phoen back in his pocket after checking his notifications, letting out a sigh at some of the comments, “So, how’re we gonna play this?” “What do you mean?” He held his mouth in a flat line and barely squinted his eyes sarcastically as he held up his phone, the picture of us already getting mulitple comments; “Where’s Jeffrey?” “I bet they’re fucking” “Since when are they so close?” “Jesus Christ,” I barked as he turned his phone back around and continued to scroll through. “Yeah…” “Um, Well, I don’t know.” Norman bobbed his head up and down in thought for amoment, drumming this thumbs along the edge of the table in front of him, “Probably should keep things a little quiet until shit settles between you and Jeff.” I sighed, nodding in agreement, “You’re probably correct.”

“So when you goin’ back to ‘Couver?” Norman asked quietly as we sat on my parents’ couch. Everyone else was asleep and the house was quiet and dark save the dim light pooling in from the kitchen. “Tomorrow,” I sighed, rubbing my temples with annoyance, “I’ve got to get Misha prepared to go home for the holiday plus make sure he’s everywhere he needs to be afterwards.” “Tense.” “He’s annoying.” “Seems like it.” I snorted at him and shook my head, bringing my glass of amber gold to my lips and sipping deeply. “Then you comin’ back here for Thanksgiving?” He questioned, taking a sip of his own glass.

“Yeah, Thanksgiving with my family. What are you doing?” “Gonna be in New York with Ming. His mom’s got some crazy thing to do in France or something.” “Fun” “Probably not. He’s getting to the age where he’s too cool to hang out with his ol’ man.” “I’m too cool to hang out with you too but here I am.” “Asshole.” “Generally, yeah."I retorted, stiffling a yawn with the backside of my hand. "Tired?” Norman asked with an amused smirk. “Fuckin’ exhausted.” I answered, placing my glass on the coffee table and stretching my arms over my head. “Come 'ere,” Norman whispered, stretching out across the couch and patting his thighs as he turned on his side and pressed himself against hte back cushions. I grabbed the throw blanket from the arm chair, wrapping the fuzzy fibers around me before spreading it out over Norman and joining him, my back pressed agains this chest as he wrapped his wide shoulders and arms around me. My head fell comfortably on his bicep underneath me and he nuzzled his nose into my hair, kissing me right behind my ear. “Mmm, this is nice.” I purred as I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing, enjoying the sensation of his arms tangled around me. “Mhmmm,” he cooed back, tightening his grip as we drifted off to sleep.

[dapperfvck-arc]

BASIC.

FULL NAME. John Constantine NICKNAME. officially, Conjob, mostly from his days on the punk scene. On the esoteric side of things he may be referred to “The Laughing Magician” or, more derisively “a petty dabbler”. BIRTHDAY. May 10 (by original Hellblazer canon, he was born in 1953, but I’ve taken it upon myself to adjust his birth year to some time in the early 70s give or take) ETHNIC GROUP.  Caucasian NATIONALITY.  English (with strongly implied deep Russian roots) LANGUAGE.  English, basic grasp of most major European languages, profound fluency in dead/magical/infernal languages SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Bisexual af RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse/continuity dependent, though this blog is fairly heavily multi-ship. However, it should be noted that on the MCU continuity, John is in an exclusive, committed relationship with Matt Murdock ( @dcviltongued ) CLASS. Middle to lower class. Is very good at getting fast money (scams, gambling, dealing in magic artifacts/antiques of questionable quality and veracity) so may appear to be better off at certain times HOME TOWN / AREA. Liverpool, England, but has been living in London since leaving the family home at 17. CURRENT HOME. Heavily verse/continuity/thread dependent. John is a frequent traveller. PROFESSION. Somewhat verse/continuity dependent. Really it’s just a matter of whether or not he charges for exorcisms or magic rituals. My personal endgame for John is legitimacy. Like becoming a preternatural PI (and sometimes mundane) for hire or whatever. As a general rule though, his profession is con artist. He’s never worked a honest day’s work in his life. The closest he ever got was when he was a “rock star”. He could also be considered a professional gambler, patronizing horse tracks, underground card games, legal casinos, and I imagine can hustle at pool. Scams range from blackmail to using his reputation as an occultist to take advantage of people willing to pay for spell work.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR. Short and usually rather messy. He rocks bedhead pretty aggressively. May be shaved and very short on the sides and styled into a faux to actual mohawk. He’s very blonde despite not getting very much sun as a general.  EYES. Electric blue, often almost fever bright. Deep and captivating, extremely intense straight on. NOSE. difficult to pin down due to the range of styles in which John have been drawn. Usually broad and more or less regular, occasionally somewhat crooked from being broken, though by and large, it’s portrayed as straight. Some artists, such as Moriat and Sean Murphy have drawn it as narrow and somewhat aquiline. I guess, I tend lean toward the former despite my deep love for Murphy’s interpretation of John, simply because I feel like my choice in FC is somewhat based on Tim Bradstreet and Leonardo Manco’s artistic interpretations of John, both of which I honestly adore just as well. FACE. Yet another loooong explanation here, I’m sorry. Artists tend to lean between giving him either a square face, classically handsome appearance (Steve Dillon, John Higgins, Ron Tiner, most of artists that have drawn him in the DC titles he’s appeared in), a broader, more every man appearance (Sean Phillips, Leonardo Manco to some degree, though later proved quite capable of drawing him stunningly handsome, and Tim Bradstreet), however still attractive but somewhat more haggard, stubbled, and/or slightly seedy in appearance, and finally a sharper, more diamond shape to his face featuring high cheekbones, a pointed chin and fine bone structure (Sean Murphy, Marcelo Frusin, and Moriat). Once more, in reference to my face claim for John, I suppose I tend to favour a more classically handsome appearance, simply because I like the idea of him having a pleasant, almost trustworthy face given that he is a con artist and considered an extremely good one (sometimes even the greatest con artist alive but idk whatever), and I feel like looking as dodgy as say, Frusin’s interpretation, I can’t imagine him being as successful as he is, you feel me? That guy looks like he’ll fuck you over for a corn chip. LIPS. Sensuous, faintly lined from his his smoking habit COMPLEXION.  Like any good Englishman that tends to move about by night and quite a bit dressed, John’s very pale. I do think he has a faintly pronounced undertone of pink. This colour will get brighter when he gets drunk, aroused, angry, or the exceedingly rare instance that he’s embarrassed  BLEMISHES. None SCARS. Aside from the scarification, which is better off detailed in the next section, and I ALWAYS FORGET TO MENTION THIS, he definitely has a long scar over one eye from a demon trying to cut it out with a blade. Since many magic rituals call for blood, I head canon that he also has faint scarring on his arms because he doesn’t practice human or animal sacrifice and his own blood instead.

TATTOOS. Arse tattoo of pine tree courtesy of Swamp Thing being a punk bitch, ritual tattoos faded into appearing as scarification. HEIGHT. 5′11 (184.34 cm) WEIGHT: prolly ranges between 150-160lbs (140 at his lightest) BUILD.  Long legs, somewhat of a broad upper torso, can be a bit soft in the middle. In general, he’s rather thin but his musculature is not usually very defined. In other words, no big, sexy pecs or cut abs. If anything he’s more sleek lines and narrow planes. ALLERGIES.  none USUAL HAIR STYLE. Freshly fucked USUAL CLOTHING. Dark suits, usually dark blue or black and trench coat, usually tan, has also been portrayed as black, yellow, or a mossy kinda green. In theory it could be said that these aren’t just differing interpretations from artists but that John owns coats in different colours, styles, and fabrics, but his favourite is the tan, longer style

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR. abandonment, amounting to nothing, not being able to protect those he cares about ASPIRATION. survival, making some kind of mark on this world, a measure of contentment POSITIVE TRAITS. Compassionate and determined, above all. Though not about to admit to it, he's still deeply idealistic. Strangely forgiving. He doesn’t really keep grudges. Loving, considerate, understanding, and rarely judgmental  NEGATIVE TRAITS. Those good things up above? They’re encased in a shell of harsh cynicism and apathy. Depending on his mood or particular part of his life depends on how hard a shell he is to crack. He may also experience depressive periods where he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything and just wants to drink. VICE HABIT.  Chain smokes, drinks, frequency dependent on what’s up in his life, though I do not believe he’s an alcoholic, sorry, because lol look, drinking a lot doesn’t mean you have a dependency. Indulges in drugs infrequently, mostly hallucinogens and weed, though I also tend to head canon that he flirted with a cocaine habit while fronting Mucous Membrane.  FAITH.  It’s complicated GHOSTS? Duh. He sees them plain as any living person AFTERLIFE?  Yeah, but uh, he doesn’t consider them eternal respites. They’re just planes of existence that he can either enter, leave, or pull people out. REINCARNATION? Maybe? ALIENS? I meeeeaannn....technically in DCU he’s acquainted with the concept of aliens and may or may not have fucked Hal Jordan POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. Liberal ECONOMIC PREFERENCE. comfortable  SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION. working class warlock EDUCATION LEVEL.  Predominately self-educated. His frightfully intelligent and has been cited as having genius level intellect. Although I’m not sure I’d go so far as confirm that, I do thing he’s extremely clever and pragmatic. School bored him to tears and he was the type of kid the counselors and teachers say “exceedingly bright but unwilling to apply himself”. He reads voraciously, has an eidetic memory, and isn’t afraid of putting himself in new situations.

FAMILY.

FATHER.  Thomas (dead, murdered by the Family Man) MOTHER.  Mary Anne (died in child birth) SIBLINGS.  Cheryl (murdered by husband, currently residing in Hell), an unnamed twin brother referred to as the Golden Child or Boy, the true heir to the Laughing Magician (stillborn, soul was later absorbed by John in trippy magic ritual, only to be expelled later in life when it was revealed that...uh...he was influencing John’s destiny to be perpetually sabotaged. Hellblazer’s a weird comic, you guys) EXTENDED  FAMILY.  Gemma, his niece. They have a rather stormy relationship. Chas, his best mate. Lovers may also be included in this. NAME MEANING. John: Jehovah has been Gracious/Shown Favour (lmao) Constantine: Constant, steadfast, generally referred to as “The Constant One”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION. Is strongly implied that John’s related, if perhaps distantly, to Constantine the Great.

FAVOURITES.

BOOKS.  Prefers non-fiction MUSIC. Rock music, most notably 70s and 80s era punk rock. Likes the Pogues. Given the stack of evidence that John skirts the edge of the Goth scene cos he likes the aesthetic on women, I have a feeling he’s adopted into his music tastes. The Cure, Smiths, and Cocteau Twins in reference to an 80s mixtape John might make. Which i question the Smiths heavily, but The Cure and Cocteau Twins seems fairly legit. I bet Kit loved the Cocteau Twins. In that same vein of thought, although I tend to think John doesn’t like electronic music, he may have adopted some industrial bands into his preferences but he’s not about to talk about ti any time soon. DEITY.  Whichever one doesn’t hate him HOLIDAY.  doesn’t care MONTH. same SEASON.  Fall PLACE.  London or New York, in the case of sentimentality that he will never be able to get back to, the years when he was bumming around Ireland with Brenden and Kit WEATHER. Overcast SOUND.  He’s a city boy through and through, even if he may get frustrated with society on a whole, so he’s comforted by city sounds more than silence SCENT.  A freshly poured pint, the first cigarette of the day, skin and sex sweat TASTE.  Gin FEEL. He’s a sensualist. Body to body, breathing another person’s breath, his please, another person’s pleasure, his pleasure, all that good stuff. I also feel like he enjoys being drunk or stoned for the sake of having his thoughts dulled to a degree. He’s the sort of man who has lots of thoughts and situational observational input. John is basically perpetually mentally overstimulated and he likes the relief from that in inebriation. ANIMAL.  Fox  NUMBER.  hahaha idea numerology man COLOUR.  warm and neutral tones

EXTRA.

TALENTS. So many. He’s a jack of all trades in a lot of ways. He can pick a lock, displays some artistic talent in that he can draw very intricate magic circles and sigils, if you consider that John wrote Venus of the Hardsell, he’s clearly got some ability to express himself in lyrics and words, i like to think he can play guitar, is apparently good with delicate craftsmanship (he used to help Dani build furniture for her dollhouses. This is canon by the way), suppose you could say he can sort of sing, but that’s debatable, and of course he’s very manipulative and speaks very well, is educated enough to be able to bullshit through various situations. TURN ONS. Total ass man, loves a great ass on a man or woman, dark hair, dark eyes, strong men, he’s a switch, but loves being manhandled and dominated to a degree, by either gender, honestly, danger, open affection, being wanted, loved, and cherished. So many things, honestly. John Constantine is easy. TURN OFFS.   Hardcore kink HOBBIES. Sleep, pub crawls, pretending he’s normal, reading TROPES. Con man with a heart of gold, charming bastard, unrepentant rogue, urban magician, supernatural detective, living legend AESTHETICS. smoke, chalk dust, wind and rain swept streets, London after midnight, narrow, dark alleys, haunted places, rumpled bed sheets, messy hair, dive bars, wicked smiles, deep kisses

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC. Ewan McGregor // comic caps from various issues he’s appeared ALT  FC. Keanu Reeves for my filmverse OLDER  FC. Don’t have one as yet YOUNGER  FC. Ewan McGregor   VOICE  CLAIM.  Jason Stathem

Tagged by: @vamptrampbamf Tagging: lmao fuckin everyone.

[sadiiomane10]

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing, 

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded, 

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

 zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing 

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then 

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

 LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him 

 BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre 

and emre being all like  pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

 cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time, 

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE 

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you, 

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”    

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON 

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

 cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre  just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better, 

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like ��hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly  annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like  EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair 

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres……  'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

 LORISSSSSSSSS

 AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

 and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing 

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love 

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing 

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything 

 he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

 bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team 

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

 hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him, 

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

 they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

 que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair. 

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

 but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

 hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants, 

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him