#there's probably something to be said for tieflings also being a looked-down-upon race but I don't think they're

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

Karlach and Sera are the "they put us in different universes because they knew we would be unstoppable as best friends" kinda characters, methinks

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

some

BODY once told me that beaujester week starts now because timezones are a goddamn mystery and i live in the future compared to most of yall and i cannot wait any long to share my fics with you 

SO HERES DAY 1 YALL BATTLE COUPLE AND FIRST KISS YEET @beaujester-week

AO3 Link

and fic below the cut:

There were some moments that Beau really hated magic. Right now was one of those moments.

“Can you see them?” Jester’s voice called out from the bottom of the tree that Beau had climbed up.

Frowning, Beau gave another look across the skyline, perched on a thin branch near the very top of the tree. The sun was quickly approaching the horizon, but she saw nothing but trees. After a few more moments of searching, she dropped back down to the ground with a scowl on her face.

“Nothing. Not even some smoke. Either Caleb fell into a cave or something, or we got sent too far away to see anything.”

Jester was hugging herself when Beau dropped down, her lips pursed and her foot tapping the ground. “When I messaged him he didn’t say anything about not being able to shoot something into the sky…”

“Then we must be really far away. Or he’s really far away.” Beau ran a hand through her hair. “Either way, I’ve got no idea where the others are. Can you message anyone else?”

“I can… but then I won’t have high enough magic left to dimension door us towards them.”

Great. Just wonderful. The two women glanced around the forest for a while, as if something might have changed in the ten minutes since some asshole wizard had managed to teleport them out here. Usually, it wouldn’t be a problem, but this particular forest was, according to the locals, filled with gnolls, ogres and wolves and other things that would probably like to kill them. It was also apparently far larger than originally anticipated.

Of course, assuming they were even still in the same forest as they’d been in when they fought that stupid wizard.

“What about locate object?” Beau asked, looking up through the verdant canopy at the sky, which was becoming tinged with pinks and oranges of sunset.

“I already tried with Caleb and Caduceus…” Jester’s voice trailed off, and she winced, while Beau tried to remember how many spells she’d seen Jester cast in the fight before they’d gotten whisked to wherever they were now. Too many. Better she save whatever she had left than waste it on the hope any of the others were still in range.

“Right. Guess we better… pick a direction and start walking.” She said.

Jester brightened up a little, making a show of picking a random direction and declaring it to be the best one, setting off with a spring in her step. Beau jogged to catch up to her, keeping a lookout for any danger as they began making their way through the forest.

It would be fine, Beau was sure. They’d walk around until they found somewhere to shelter for the night, Jester would be able to send more messages in the morning, they’d be able to work out where everyone is, and then they’d figure out how to get back to each other.

They just had to survive a maybe-monster-infested forest until they did.

As if she had called it upon themselves, Beau heard a dull, faint thud from somewhere to her right, followed by a few more. She tensed up and stopped in her tracks, Jester instinctively freezing next to her, both of them looking in the direction the sound, squinting through the branches.

For a few moments, silence reigned.

Another set of thuds, more noticeable now that Beau was listening out to them. Heavy, and slow. Far too close for comfort.

“We need to-” Whatever else Beau was going to say was lost in an instant when all of her instincts suddenly screamed for her to duck. She did, grabbing Jester by the arm and pulling her down with her, a javelin whistling over right where they had been standing, where it probably would have skewered them both had they stayed still.

Jester couldn’t help a surprised yelp, clapping her hand over her mouth.

The footsteps were quicker now, still approaching. They didn’t need to be told twice, scrambling back to their feet and taking off in the opposite direction, Beau holding on tight to Jester’s hand. The last thing they needed was to get any further separated.

Unfortunately, whatever was chasing them was faster. Beau could hear the footsteps — about two sets if she was hearing correctly — pounding closer and closer with every passing second.

Another javelin flew past them, burying itself into a tree trunk just in front of them.

Jester stiffened for a second, Beau’s momentum carrying them forward so quickly they stumbled, buckling to their knees and scrambling to get back up, both of them cursing three ways to the next week.

They were down for a barely a few seconds, but even that small delay was enough for their enemies to catch up, two hulking ogres breaking into view, massive splintering greatclubs gripped in their hands and sneers crossing their faces.

“Dimension door?” Beau asked, Jester nodding with wide, fearful eyes before opening her mouth to say the spell.

At the same moment, one of the ogres picked up a fallen tree trunk that lay on the ground, chucking it directly at them, the other lumbering forward with greatclub raised.

Beau dove out of the way, rolling to a stop and seeing Jester now a good fifteen feet away from her, having jumped in the opposite direction to avoid the trunk, which splintered on the ground where they had been.

Fuck. Shit. She caught Jester’s eye from between the trees, a split second before they knew a fight would really be upon them. Her eyebrows knitted together with determination, her hands already reaching for her holy symbol.

If they weren’t able to stick together long enough for a Dimension Door, then they’d just have to do this the old-fashioned way.

Luckily for them, they were surrounded by trees. Trees which gave Beau an excellent vantage point to run up and jump off of in order to kick an ogre in its stupid face. Multiple times.

For about thirty seconds, it all went remarkably well. The trees also gave them a fair amount of cover, the ogres having to duck and squeeze their way through to try and get to them. Jester managed a lucky guiding bolt, nailing one of the ogres directly in the eyes and sending it crashing to the forest floor.

Seeing its brethren fallen, the ogre Beau had been fighting promptly lost its shit. The only warning Beau got was a low, guttural roar before a greatclub slammed into her stomach.

All the breath was knocked out of her lungs, a sharp cracking sound filling her ears as she went sprawling onto the ground, distantly hearing a shocked cry from Jester somewhere behind her.

“Beau!” Jester’s dress rustled as she sat down next to her, Beau grimacing and wheezing as she pulled herself up to her knees.

“I’m good-I’m good-” She huffed, holding one arm over her stomach.

Jester opened her mouth to say something, cradling one hand and holding her holy symbol in the other.

But then the ogre roared again, far too close for comfort.

“Shit-” Jester glared at the ogre, her eyes flickering back to Beau before she seemed to make a snap decision in her mind, and all of a sudden, her lips were pressed up against Beau’s, a burst of warmth and healing magic flowing into her.

The kiss lasted for a second and then Jester was gone again, holding her injured hand to her chest and running past her, a sacred rush of flames descending upon the ogre.

What…?

Beau sat there stunned for a few moments, focused entirely on the quickly fading sensation of Jester’s kiss, the last lingering remnants of her magic leaving a soft glow in their wake that soon faded too.

Then the ogre took a swing at Jester, the tiefling just narrowly managing to jump out of the way, and the world came crashing back around her again. She darted to her feet, curling her hands into fists again before racing back into the fray, even if a part of her was still stuck on what had just happened, stuttering like a broken record.

With the two of them together, they made short work of the remaining ogre, only waiting a moment to catch their breath before they ran deeper into the forest. The sun was truly setting now, but it wasn’t long before they found a cave — okay, more like a crack in the side of a hill, but it provided some cover — that they huddled into, not wanting to take their chances resting out in the open.

The adrenaline faded away and no matter how hard she tried, Beau’s thoughts kept drifting back to the kiss. Did it count as a kiss? It had been so quick, such a split-second moment, could it really be called a kiss? Jester had kissed her before, on the forehead or even on the cheek a few times, but never on the lips.

Even though the fight was over, Beau’s heart was still racing. Her stomach seemed to be tying itself in knots, her breaths short. Or maybe that was because of the cracked ribs.

“Are you okay?” Jester’s voice cut into her thoughts and she tilted her head towards her. “Your hands are shaking.”

“What?” Beau looked down to see her hands were vibrating, not too much but enough to be noticeable, and she promptly willed them to stop. “Oh.” Gods, she still sounded flustered, her cheeks heating up.

She looked back at Jester, whose expression was somewhere between expectant and absolutely bewildered. For a few moments, they just looked at each other, cheeks a few shades redder or purpler than they usually were, fingers twitching towards each other.

Gods, what if she was waiting for Beau to say something? What if she had already forgotten about it? It probably didn’t mean anything, she’d just been trying to give Beau some quick healing, one of her hands had been full and it looked like the other had been hurt and-

“Oh, your hand, is it alright?” Beau spoke quickly, grateful for any distraction.

A flicker of something crossed Jester’s face but quickly disappeared, the hand she’d been cradling before still curled up against her chest. “Um, it’s fine. Nothing a good nights sleep won’t fix.”

Beau shuffled a little closer, thankful they’d taken the time to create a small campfire, trying not to look Jester directly in the eye lest she absolutely lose her mind. “Are you sure? I’ve-I’ve sprained and broken wrists before, they hurt a lot if you don’t take care of them properly.”

“If you say so.” Jester chuckled lightly even though she hadn’t really said anything funny, lowering her hand and allowing Beau to take a look.

A few seconds glance told Beau that it was definitely sprained, at the very least. They were both silent while Beau took care of it, but she could feel Jester’s eyes on her, while her traitorous mind continued to replay those tiny few seconds, picking it apart until she almost felt like she was actually seeing it happen over and over again.

“You- uh, out of healing spells?”

“Yeah. I used my last one on you.” They were both now pointedly avoiding eye contact, even as they sat so close their legs and sides were pressed against each other.

“Right. That was…” What was she saying what was she saying oh gods “That was nice.” What the fuccckkkkk?

For a second there was dead silence. “Oh.” Jester sounded surprised. Not just surprised, pleasantly surprised. “Nice?”

Abort. Abort. Abort! “Yeah. Unexpected… but nice.”

Nice? Was that really the only word she could come up with?

“I mean-uh, it was pretty heat of the moment-” Beau’s mind was spiralling, trying to land on the right words to say and just ending up flailing hopelessly, her tongue moving without her brain really able to catch up. The only consolation was that Jester seemed equally as lost.

“Oh yeah, totally.”

“It was a tense situation, really quick, your hands were full. Not too meaningful, right?” Oh, gods.

“Right.”

Beau chanced a look at Jester, only to accidentally make eye contact, quickly breaking it off to stare directly at the opposite side of the cave instead. They lapsed into an awkward silence.

It was probably a good thing that her body was already stiff, because when Jester’s hand slowly, hesitantly found its way over to Beau’s, fingers carefully tucking themselves around hers, she couldn’t tense up any further than she already was.

When she spoke, Jester’s voice was barely above a whisper. “It… it could be meaningful.”

Beau’s heart skipped a beat.

She swallowed, before clearing her throat. “Yeah?”

Slowly, ever so painfully slowly, Beau turned her head to face Jester. This time, she didn’t break the eye contact.

“Can… can I kiss you properly this time?”

Beau didn’t answer. She just nodded, closed her eyes, and leaned in.

[jq37]

sooo.... what’s the tea on the new ep? :)

**spoilers for family in flames**

I have so much to say I’m not drafting this on tumblr lest it crash and I lose a soul-crushing amount of yelling into the void.

And, I gotta say, THIS episode is the reason I haven’t posted my adult rankings list yet. THIS RIGHT HERE. I KNEW some crap was gonna go down and force me to make some HUGE adjustments.

Also, We are feeling vindicated in this house today! But let’s start from the top and work our way down.

“Raise your hands if you really care about your parents.”

Fabian having to be like, “Look, your parents suck but don’t you have siblings?” (Kristen: Ugh, I guess)

Adaine pointing out that she cares about Gorgug’s parents.

Brennan listening to them argue about what to do like he doesn’t know they’re about to be arrested for a whole ass MONTH.

Fig wanting to method act while texting the phone, pretending to be scared.

So is the arcade owner (Frank Dunford) relevant? Brennan had the name on hand. But maybe it was just him being a good worldbuilder and anticipating the question. I feel like it’s probably that because this is late in the game to be introducing new people who are super relevant.

“Gilear’s got a little knife”

I KNEW those arcade prizes were gonna be gear they could pick up! ALWAYS RAID THE ROOM. Some of that stuff might have helped in the fight. I loved the group silently reading the cards and exchanging them to whoever they thought it would help most in the background as Brennan did the ID spell.

“This has been, if I may say so, the *best* use of the identify spell.”

I love that Adaine thanks everyone, including her inanimate spells. She’s just a good person.

OK so this episode addressed a LOT of questions I had about how these literal children were getting away with all of these murders and such. Apparently, the adventuring academy kids traditionally just get away with this stuff because of Arthur’s influence and the nature of adventurers.

Adaine coming in hot with the diplomatic immunity and then remembering, oh wait, we’re at war w/ Falinel.

Fig immediately starting smoking when she gets arrested.

I love the federal agent outsider with perspective coming in and being rightfully horrified by the absolute nonsense that’s been going on the past 15 episodes.

Is Riz’s mom the only competent cop at this station? Is there a one competent adult per location rule?

Bill Seacaster Upon Learning the Bad Kids are In Jail: Did you try to escape?

“How are things going?”/“I mean bad. I’m in jail.”

Fig upon offhandedly and indirectly being called a vigilante by Sklonda: Thank you.

Emily loses it whenever anything happens in Gilear’s orbit.

Wild that Adaine decided to spontaneously call Goldenhoard considering what happened later. Like, it wasn’t a completely out of nowhere decision and it was totally logical but they could have easily overlooked that decision. 

Like, I know things happen later that make this kinda moot but I loved Goldenhoard’s conversation with Adaine in jail. “Don’t to talk to anyone without a lawyer and kill anyone you have to to get out. The school will pay for the rezzes.”/“That’s exactly what our plan was. God, I love this school.”

Although, sidenote, I feel like you can only easily rez someone within a minute? Like, I know there are other D&D spells that let you do it after a longer period of time but with the whole phoenix egg thing and the fact that they haven’t come up so far, I feel like Brennan isn’t using the in this setting for stakes reasons.

Man that whole conversation with Fig and her mom. Emily plays Fig so balls to the wall that I kinda forget sometimes that she’s actually an intelligent adult woman who knows what she’s doing with the character so I really shouldn’t be surprised with how well she stuck the emotional beats of this episode.

Gorthalax man! TyraWeWereAllRootingForYou.gif If he left, like, actually left and isn’t just held up somehow, then that’s gonna be really not great for Fig’s general psyche. 

Kristen COMPLETELY undercutting the moment by point blank asking if they had sex.

No wonder Sandra-Lynn was so worried about Fig. She was totally Fig growing up. Which, lol, she’s not even half tiefling. She was just *like that*

Oh so Gilear has always been super lame. Good to know.

Fig: I think I have mommy issues./The Rest of the Party: You have all the issues.

Fabian: You’re trying to hook up with a 25 year old adult./Fig: What do you mean trying?I’m successfully kissing him once every couple weeks. (Which, lol but also I’m glad that’s as far as it got…you know if it has to go any amount forward).

They just let Bill into the cell?????

Lou when Zac rolls a 1 for perception on Bill Secaster and he knows what’s coming: Don’t fucking do this. (Everyone else: Already trying not to lose it)

Zac’s Gorgug being contemplative and also completely wrong face is so funny to me every time.

“Why would you kill me?”/“Why would you know that?”

Who is more insane? Gorgug for suggesting him and Fabian could be twins (aren’t they different ages????) or Bill for thinking he’s so awesome he could somehow do that?

Kristen trying to help FIg distract Bill by blurting out, “Have you ever had sex?” After the conversation where he said point blank he’s slept with 100s of orc women. 

Fabian yelling at his dad is kinda undercut by continuing to call him papa in the most poncy accent.

I don’t think I’ve articulated this properly before but this episode really drove it home: Fabian and Bill have a *close* relationship but not an entirely healthy one. Like, better than Adaine and her parents by leaps and bounds but he wrestled his son in a jail cell while his friends just watched. Like, who does that?

Imagine if Riz had tried to get between Bill and Fabian. 

Also imagine being the rest of the party just sitting there, watching that go down.

“We’ve spent so much of our lives obsessed with our dads and we’ve completely ignored our moms.”/“You’re just again talking about yourself.”

I can’t believe Fig’s suggestion spell would have worked if head boss in charge fed lady hadn’t been there. Speaking of her, as soon as she showed up I knew they weren’t going to be able to shenanigan their way out of this one (which is literally the word Emily used, hilariously). I don’t think even a nat 20 would have gotten them very far. Remember last week when I said that I was sure there was going to be a prom finale but I was also pretty sure there was still a good chunk of time before prom? As soon as they got arrested and the feds showed up I was like, “Oh they are not getting out until prom for sure.”

Siobhan trying not to laugh while Emily tries a ridiculous plan that might have worked in a different episode honestly.

Ally trying to Pirates of the Carribean her way out of the jail cell.

The cops didn’t even take their stuff in a month!

“I’m glad this is in my head and no one else can hear things like this.”

I love how Fabian rolls his eyes at Adaine for thanking her spells but he always thanks the Hangman.

Realistically the Hangman would have told Fabian the plan before it happened but the way it played out was soooo good.

The return of Mr. Cubby!!!! I was hoping it would be him but man! It was still so awesome to see happen. I wonder if Brennan introduced that family specifically in case the group ever needed to be busted out of jail (a likely need).

“Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic ethnic group of a given nation.”

“You guys wanna make some bacon?”

“That was on fire the whole time? You’re so brave!” Adaine likes adults who aren’t her parents so much.

Riz being like uhhhhh my mom works here.

“To the AV club!”/“It’s been months!”

OK so they took a palimpsest from Bill in this episode. That was there to tip them off that he’s up to something I’m sure, but I feel like that could also turn out to be a Chekov’s gun for next ep. I’m sure the ability to trap someone’s should would be useful in the finale.

S/O to Brennan for his excellent foreshadowing throughout the episode and honestly the whole series.

Siobhan thinking to check the trash folder of his computer was a good move, even if it didn’t end up being the right one.

OK, strap in guys. This is where things get WILD.

Siobhan’s “Oh shit!” when she got halfway down the page of Watches and Wards and then that Harry Potter sounding sting in the background.

(Before I get any further, I love that Adaine’s first thought was well that means my sister isn’t Kal Vaxis because she thinks her sister is the root of all evil).

But WOW. After all the trash talking of the old oracle, it turns out Adaine is the new eleven oracle! And she has been since EPISODE ONE. I almost thought she was gonna be *that* elven oracle because of the questions the cast was asking but nope. It is, as Zac and Siobhan put it, a The Santa Clause situation where the last one dies and someone else gets the job.

Brennan’s faint amusement as they work through that is so good.

You know what’s kinda hilarious in hindsight about that? I said before that, so far, every person Adaine has pegged as trash has ended up being trash of the highest order and an enemy of the party and of course she’s been good at predicting things! She’s the literal oracle.

Am I reading this wrong or is the Religious Studies teacher name Yolanda Badgood?

Also the sheet says “Lunchlad (Official Title)” RIP dude.

Emily low key thinking this is going to be about pay disparity between the races.

Will putting the book back retroactively get rid of anything bad currently cast in school?

Brennan going, “Nothing happens.”/“You see an upside down waste paper basket.” Is such a GM mood. I had a session once where I spent half an hour just saying, “You’re looking at the door,” in various ways.

No one knows what Goldenhoard’s name actually is and it’s the second to last episode.

I feel like Brennan must have gotten forehead/cheek kissed a lot as a child because he’s constantly having NPCs do it. 

Are elves in this setting actually immortal (barring being actually killed) or just long lived? Because Adaine talks like she’s immortal but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, newsflash Adaine. You’ve been mortal this whole campaign! Because apparently, the elven oracle always eventually dies. 

I love that Adaine finally confronted the oracle about sinking on a ship and actually ended up kinda sympathizing with her. I can’t believe this is how that running joke ends.

Fabian at the ghost of the past eleven oracle who’s imparting wisdom on Adaine: Who are you?

Ally: Can I do something weird? (Dude, when do you not?)

Ally mumbling through an inspiring spell as Murph clues in to the paperwork discrepancy that blows the plot twist wide open. And then miming the whole thing in the background as the scene goes on.

“He was mean so I thought that meant he was a good guy.” More stern than mean really but yeah! Same Murph!

You know how you know things are about to get real? When the DM starts letting you do stuff like bust down doors without even rolling for it because there are bigger fish to fry.

The 69 glyphs of binding. Nice.

But in seriousness, Kal Vaxis (apparently it’s spelled Kalvaxus but I can’t be bothered to change that in this post) was apparently trapped by Arthur and bound to work at Aguefort (as Goldenhoard) because…he’s a wildcard I guess. Sidenote, can you imagine what this season might have looked like if Arthur hadn’t died? Or was that always the plan for him to die in some way? Like to resurrect an NPC maybe if the crew hadn’t lost 2 party members.

Man when he said last ep that the girls were going back to school I thought OK that makes sense because it’s the AV computer that Biz used or maybe it’s Penelope. But I totally overlooked teachers.

OK so the binding spell specifically says “as long as I live” and Arthur is dead. So….what does that mean exactly? And this plan seems to have been in motion from before Arthur died. What does that mean? Also, if that wording means he’s freed when Arthur dies, what was Arthur thinking killing himself???? Did he need Kristen to sneak him into heaven so he could talk to Sol and do some scheming or something? AHHHHH I have so many questions.

Also in the binding is a clause about tea. Now, first of all, Arthur, bro. Come on. Second of all, a lawyer really should have looked at that. “I will drink anything you give me”? I work at a law firm. I’m a lowly first year but even I know that’s a terrible thing to put in a contract. I’m sure y'all non lawyers know that too!

Karam-Kajam (the binding spell words) kinda looks like “magic maker” backwards. That doesn’t mean anything. I just wanted y'all to know I was freeze framing every thing that might be a clue.

OK ok ok, so I’ve been saying for a while now (in posts but mainly over chat) that all this bad stuff must be like connected to a central person in service of a central goal but the players were probably all unconnected wild cards acting in self interest. The one thing I couldn’t quite put together was what because these plots have been mainly unconnected. But now, we have it! All the weird things starting a war (by manipulating the harvestmen), getting 7 maidens (by manipulating Biz), and reinstating prom king/queen (by manipulating (?) Penelope and Dayne, also yes! my wild card guess was that prom king/queen was going to be part of a spell or curse or something. Guess it was prophecy but yes! vindication!) are parts of a prophecy on how to bring back Kalvaxis! (Along with him getting his “glittering treasure”?)

But yeah! No wonder it was so hard to put the pieces together! They all connected but only through a prophecy. Good job Bren!

“The sun shall fall from the heavens” is part of the prophecy which makes me think Sol or Helios might be involved in this somehow.

Ally: There are definitely going to be 7 virgins at prom. (That deserved a rim shot).

Good on Murph for making sure none of them were on the virgin list bc that would have been a pain in the ass to find out mid-fight. Also, I KNEW “Where are their bodies” was the question to ask last ep when Biz said they were going back to their bodies.

“Who told you that? An oracle?”

I hope Adaine just uses her oracle status to make sick one liners like, “I predict this is gonna hurt,” before she witchbolts someone. She never does her actual job. 

Adaine who hates her family, righteously indignant: Between our houses and the world, you expect us to choose our houses?

The rest of the group who loves their family: BYEEEEE.

Well, no. Kristen also had reservations before she remembered her brothers existed.

Adaine texting her mom: You should probably leave.

Siobahn and Ally fistbumping over their mutual not caring about their parents.

OK so what’s up with the rat? What’s so important about the rat? And what’s up with Zayne? We still haven’t figured out what’s up with him.

Still not clear on if the crystals trap your physical body or just your spirit and leave your physical body dormant irl.

So that’s how they got rid of the adults for the fight. Nice job again Brennan.

As far as I can tell, Brennan made up this usage of the word palimpsest and I’d never heard of the word before and now I type it so much. Wild.

“I’m calling an Uber. You use the minute to go look at as much shit as you can. Jump in the Uber with me, come to my house. Look Rudolpho will be here in two minutes in a Honda Civic. Use one of those minutes. Go.”

A Knight to Remember. 

They freaking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to Kristen’s house.

I love how Uber Drivers in this world are still gunning for 5 stars.

OK, time for the most stressful 30 minutes of Fantasy High (so far).

I think the wagering mechanic Brennan used for the fights was brilliant. For each conflict a d20 was rolled. 1-6=epic fail. 7-14=bad but not awful. 15-20=favorable outcome. The twist was that if the person chose to help their family they could give up half their HP and 14 spell levels and he would roll with advantage.

Everyone quickly took that deal except Adaine who truly does not give a damn about her family (and also, reasonably, thought that they wouldn’t even be at home. Idk why they apparently were tbh).

When Emily said, “She’s a complex person and she’s allowed to be,” that was the moment I was like, “Oh yeah. She’s not actually Fig. IRL she knows what’s happening.”

Siobhan uses her divination roll of 18 to save Kristen’s family without having to risk anything but the Ally turns around and decides to take the deal to try and save Adaine’s family WHEN ADAINE DOESN’T EVEN CARE. But it makes sense that Kristen would.

Lou’s monolog as Brennan rolls about how nerve wracking and terrible it is to have no idea what’s going on.

“This is the worst thing I’ve been a part of.”

“I was wondering why my mom visited me and humanized herself and this is exactly why.”

Lou/Fabian: What if my fucking family dies? (F O R E S H A D O W I N G, albeit unknowingly)

Brennan (sagely): It couldn’t have been any other way./Siobhan: It could’ve been!

lol at Adaine trying to trigger that ice cream later wish at their darkest moment (so far). Also, not that I think Brennan ever forgot about it but now I’m for sure it’s gonna come up next ep bc if nothing else that would have reminded him.

OK first up, Fig and her mom.

“Dang they’re already organized with costumes?”

That was so boss, her mom getting revived and then IMMEDIATELY shooting two guys w/ her bow.

Emily LEGIT crying through that scene. The whole room was on an emotional tightrope. You can tell.

Where in the mountains Sandra-Lynn!? I want specifics Sandra-Lynn!!

I love the idea of her jumping out of a window onto a dope griffin’s back. Fig’s mom just bought herself a bunch of spots on my grown-up rankings list.

Ally: THAT WAS NUMBER ONE

Me: SAME.

Next Riz at Strongtower

I knew Sklonda was going to be in the secret room!

I love that apparently Riz can recognize his mom’s gun by hearing it.

I know it was in the promo but Riz’s mom being like, “I was so scared you were gonna ask me to prom” was hysterical.

You just know Sklonda and Agent Angela have been fighting like cats and dogs this past month.

Riz and his mom high fiving. They have the best relationship.

Gorgug and the Thistlesprings

lol, looks like his parents had the easiest time wrecking their intruders.

But based on how it was described as compared to everyone else (bar Fabian–we’re getting there), it sounds like he got pretty dang hurt.

And I guess they have a tank (which they usually use to mow the lawn) and a bomb chest? Wild.

Anyway, if anything had happened to them insert Rosa B99 meme.

“You come to the tree, you better be ready to never fucking leave, you understand?” So boss. (Also, is that a pun?)

Gorgug’s parents launched a satellite while Gorgug was in jail.

Kristen and co.

Kristen’s dad (who is the worst): You think these guys were illegals, what?

Kristen: I’m gonna take the car, byeeee.

Kristen and Adaine bonding over their terrible parents.

I’m Concerned about Kristen’s brothers.

Abernants

They poofed out. Idk why they were still there to begin with.

So the damage they took was supposed to represent the danger the took in their respective fights. Kristen got Adaine’s divination roll meaning her family was fine either way but she did take damage for Adaine’s family. But the fight was already over by the time they got there. So, in story, any injuries sustained must have been from the fight at her house, even though that wasn’t technically the deal.

Anyway, Adaine doesn’t care about her family so let’s not waste any time moving onto

Seacaster manor

Geez

OK, you guys. Let me tell you my buildup to the realization that Bill had to die.

In the first set of episodes, when tone was established, I said to myself, a parent is going to die. I don’t know who, but someone will.

Then, Bill gave them a training montage and I thought, curse of the mentor. He’s going to die. Besides, he’s one of the biggest parental figures and he’s larger than life–perfect for a fall.

Then Sklonda took down the Harvestmen and I briefly shifted my worry to her.

But then Fabian started clashing with Bill. And I remembered all the constant talk of his mortality.

And then, this ep, Brennan made him choose between his mom and dad and I was pretty sure. (sidenote: Fabian yelling at his mom the same ep Adaine said he has a great relationship with his mom. But, like, compared to her, maybe. Also, mean Brennan.)

And then Fabian lost an eye (with a description that still makes me wince) and I KNEW. Once he lost his eye, there was no way Bill could leave the fight alive, thematically.

Honestly, it was a wrap when Fabian played the video from his dad. I was worried he’d die before he got there. 

(It was a low blow, and I credit you that.)

Why were there Harvestmen attacking Fabian’s house and no one elses?

Fabian’s mom just drinking while the house is being raided.

I was so sure the tuxed Harvestman who attacked Fabian was going to turn out to somehow be Daybreak or something. Anyway, it has to come up again. There’s no reason for that level of detail otherwise. And tux sounds like prom attire.

Lou rolls a nat 1 and then rerolls it because he has the lucky trait. What’s funny is just started listening to NADNDPod and Murph (who reminded Lou about the lucky thing) disallowed one of his players from rerolling a nat 1 even w/ the lucky in the last ep I listened to. I don’t remember if the circumstances were different though.

Bill handcuffing himself up to keep fighting. Yikes.

Anyway, ugh that whole death scene. I would write more but this is closing in on 4k words and I’ve been working on this for hours. I just wanna say, that was a perfect way to go out for him. Killing 60 people and then getting stabbed by his son and exploding. So baller (as was Fabian jumping out the window onto his bike and catching Bill’s sword. He has so many cool swords now).

It’s a crime no one does animatics for this show.

We also got a piece of the puzzle. Bill was the one supplying the palimpsests (or at least one of the ones. who was doing it before?) not for an evil reason. Just a chaotic neutral reason of wanting to recapture the glory days. So now we know that.

I mentioned this before but…Fabian is Thor.

“I SHALL LEAP INTO HELL AND KILL THE DEVIL HIMSELF” and Bill Seacaster is dril apparently.

I love Fabian destroying the nice thing Bill said about him to preserve his legacy.

Ally: HE COULD HAVE SURVIVED.

I appreciate so much that Lou knew his character so well that without any hesitation he stabbed Bill and that was the right choice.

Whew, that was a lot.

Also, not that I don’t trust Brennan but it’s wild that Bill, the most thematically appropriate parent to die, was the only one who failed his roll apparently. 

Aww at Zelda’s message to Gorgug. She made him a playlist! So 80’s high school. It gives him a bonus! Also I really wanna know what’s on the list. Like, is it all fantasy rock puns or actual songs? Yay for Brennan giving them cool items for good RPing. 

Live band. Nice.

Emily and Zac both rolled 20’s for initiative for next week’s fight. Hopefully that’s a good omen. We have no way of knowing because THERE’S NO PROMO FOR NEXT WEEK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This isn’t edited. This is more than 4000 words. This is so long my computer is about to die. Thank you and goodnight. 

[dndcharacterideas]

@treegona

You know what, why not?

I assume this is relating to a post about brass dragons I reblogged. I mentioned I wanted to share a story from an old campaign but I was busy at the time and didn’t want to hijack the post. 

Fair warning, this post is long and rambly.

The campaign was basically a wild west sort of setting where magic had been outlawed and magical races were slowly being eradicated as humans took more and more their native land. Yes, the parallels with real life events was intentional. The less human you looked, the more likely you were discriminated against. Difficult bitch that I am, I decided to be a tiefling. Our party consisted of a half-elf alchemist, human bard, human gunslinger, elf druid (along with his pack of animal companion coyotes by the end of the game), and my tiefling cleric trying her fucking damndest to hide her demon bits in a nun’s outfit.

We were level 2 when word around town started to spread that there was something big out in the desert, people had gone out to hunt it only to never return. Collectively we decided to say “fuck that” and didn’t pay it any mind again until we were level 5. Our DM really wanted us to check it out, because he had kept the listing for it on the guild’s job board from pretty much day one and eventually made the town form a goddamn mob because too many guild members had gone missing trying to take the job. We got the message and insisted that, no, the various men who kept the town running probably shouldn’t lead a charge out into the desert, where they’d likely die of exposure. We “volunteered” to go see what the commotion was all about, in exchange for double the coin the listing was originally worth, of course.

After riding for a week, tired of sand and already sick of this mission, we found a town that shouldn’t exist, every building looking brand new. The town was full of people of all races, magical or otherwise, all of whom looked very tired but were friendly enough. After doing some digging, were realized that everyone in the town were the people who had left to find the monster that should have been roughly in this spot. Asking around, all the town’s folk insisted that there was no monster, they had all just found this spot and decided it was a perfect place to settle down. They also stressed that we were welcome to stay as long as we wanted, like by everyone who spoke to us. Our alchemist immediately insisted we got the fuck out of there before we were brainwashed by whatever had all of these people.

Our gunslinger being the honorable idiot he was, would not leave until the job was done. So we hit the tavern, where most of the people were gathering. Inside we found a jovial, incredibly handsome man (according to our DM), playing the piano with far too much energy compared to the rest of the town’s people. Upon seeing us, he stopped playing, stood up in a hurry, and rushed us, not to attack us but to shake our hands. He introduced himself as the mayor of the town and wanted to sit and talk with all of us over drinks, his treat. The bard was a raging alcoholic and said yes for all of us.

For the next several hours he talked to all of us about anything and everything. None of us could get a read on him and he kept getting great charisma rolls against us, which made us want to stick around. The gunslinger passed our at some point and I used that as an excuse to get us out of the conversation. The mayor bought us rooms at the tavern and insisted we stay, as long as we like. We did not want to stay but were too drunk and tired to go anywhere.

That was the end of the session and our DM gave us our next level and some down time, telling us we could basically do anything that didn’t require leaving the town. The next time we came back to the game, a house had been built for us and we were pretty much just common citizens in the town now. The bard put on a show with the mayor every night, the druid helped with the life stock the town was keeping, the alchemist became the town’s apothecary and doctor, the gunslinger helped fight off hostel monsters and animals, and my cleric found out that the town had a chapel but no one was running it, so of course she found her purpose.

We all decided we didn’t want to spend the rest of the game playing a weird D&D version of Sims, so we started pressing the town’s people for information about why they wouldn’t leave and what was up with the mayor. Eventually we forced it out of the first person to be stuck there that he had originally found the mayor months ago, alone in the tavern (which had been the only structure at the time) and that he was nice enough but he was also very lonely and clearly didn’t want to be alone. He decided to stay for a while, just to make him feel better and eventually started running the tavern. More and more people began to show up and they would stay too, because the mayor was so nice and generous and just a little bit lonely. After a while people started feeling obligated to stay to the point that any time someone would try to leave, resulting in the mayor becoming distressed, the people around town would capture them before they could go and throw them in the town’s jail until they changed their mind. This information was immediately followed by half the town overpowering us, taking out gear and forcing us into jail cells.

My cleric was so angry about everything going on that she went into a fit of rage (a character trait from her backstory) which did very little good because they weren’t in combat but it did manage to draw the mayor into the jail. He asked what was going on and I yelled at him that his damn town is insane and that they won’t let anyone leave because they’re worried about making him sad. Our bard accused him of charming the people, because it’s the only way that so many people, many of whom were once adventurer, would become this way.

Our DM then gave us all a chance to make an arcane check to figure out what he was. Somehow I got a nat 20 when no one else got anything and pretty much screamed “how the fuck are you dragon?” We talked more with him and he admitted, yes, he was a brass dragon but he didn’t mean to keep anyone here. He was just lonely, there were so few dragons left in the world, his mate was slain long ago, and going into human towns and cities was dangerous and could get him IDed as a dragon and hunted for the rest of his life.

We convinced him to let us out of our cells and tell his people the truth. They all clearly loved him and would surely stand by him if he was honest. Sure enough this big reveal went over well and he managed to convince his people to go back to their families and friends, that he would still be there should ever they want to return. The town’s boarders were effectively opened and the druid suggested that they could advertise the town as an actual town, which would bring more people traveling through for the mayor to socialize with and could open trade with other towns.

The town ended up being our main hub after a while and over time we would find good natured monsters and magic folk and would bring them there, knowing the mayor would welcome and protect them. We pretty much started taking jobs just to try to reason with the monsters and convince them to come with us to some place they would be safe.

So please imagine, when word finally did get out that the mayor was actually a dragon, the army of adventurers and monsters, who all had grown to love him, ready to fight off any bounty hunters that came looking for him.

[dmsden]

Worldbuilding - In the Beginning...

Hullo, Gentle Readers, and welcome to the first article of our new monthly worldbuilding feature. I am modifying this intro from an article that appeared on an older gaming site I wrote for, so parts of it may look familiar to you. Bear with me. My intention is ultimately to work on a collaborative campaign with the Denizen of the Den into something anyone can use.

I am something of a compulsive world developer. As new iterations of D&D have come along, I’ve created a world specifically for that edition, drawing on what speaks to me about that edition. I had my Wardome Campaign, which lasted from Basic D&D into Advanced D&D 1 & 2. Then there was my Dreamtime Concordance campaign, which was a retro-1st edition game made before 3rd edition came along featuring anthropomorphic animals. Third edition and 3.5 were my Swords of the Amanar campaign, and 4E/5E brought Seven Kingdoms: Seowyn’s Crossing (although news on that campaign and title will be coming soon!)

I thought it might be fun to take my readers on this journey to create a new campaign setting and world with me, to share my insights and wisdom, and to offer advice that’s stood me in good stead on some very long-lasting campaigns. Hopefully, this’ll help you with the decisions you’ll make when the time comes to make your own next campaign.

Almost all of my campaigns start the same way – with a distinctive blank notebook. It may be a touch old fashioned, but there’s something magical about writing down notes on paper for me. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t had a mobile device that I find as easy to take notes in as a notebook, or maybe I just like the way writing feels, but all of my campaigns have started on paper. I carry that notebook with me everywhere, then jot down ideas as they come to me. Later on, I’ll sort the ideas, type them into a Word file, or other text format, and organize them. These days, that will probably entail creating a new campaign site on Obsidian Portal and creating a Wiki that I will update obsessively as ideas gel and settle.

Sometimes, the tricky part is not so much in getting started as in reining in all the great ideas you have floating around and figuring out the framework you want to hang your campaign on. I’ve started in lots of different ways, depending on my ideas.

For example, when 3rd edition had just come out, I made an outline for what I wanted a campaign to look like. I knew I wanted to do something involving Spelljammer, because it’s one of my favorite campaign settings ever, so I thought about what the different worlds would be that would be important to the campaign. As ideas gestated, I would jot them down in my notebook. Slowly, I began to get seeds for adventures, so I would note those in a specific section of the notebook.

My 4E game evolved out of me taking every tidbit of info that was being described online about the new edition and finding a place for it to live in my game. When we found out about tieflings being a PC race, I thought about where they would come from. When I heard about the elf/eladrin split, I began to conceptualize the “Feywar” in which Elf, Eladrin, and Drow became separate races. Based on the “points of light” model, I came up with the idea of a continent that had hosted a huge united realm but which was now divided and dangerous. Somewhere, I came up with the phrase “Seven Kingdoms” as a title…not knowing that a similar concept was lurking in A Game of Thrones, which I hadn’t read at the time. Although my 7K campaign has converted well to 5E D&D, I’ve never made a campaign specifically with 5E in mind, so that’s my goal here.

So, in thinking of 5E, one thing that strikes me is the step back towards a real old school feeling. Maybe it’s the return to some older edition things like lower hit points, or maybe it’s the fact that the playtest modules were things like Keep on the Borderlands and Isle of Dread that I played over and over in high school. Whatever the reason, that’s the vibe the game has for me, so I want to create something that makes me feel like those games made me feel back then.

I’ve decided to use the classic Keep on the Borderlands as a model. The Keep involved a series of caves near a small bastion of civilization. Missions could be given, but exploring the Caves of Chaos was more or less its own reward. PCs were drawn to it by rumors, and there was little motivation for exploring it beyond killing monsters and looting treasure.

While I don’t want to reduce the story of my campaign to goals that simplistic, there’s a lot to be said for setting up an environment like the Keep. Positioning the PCs as heroes in a limited setting, possibly giving them rumors of different dungeons in the region, and letting them decide what to do could be a different way to play, given the heavy storytelling my games have been involved with of late.

It also makes me think of the old computer game Darklands, which was set in Medieval Germany. This game made me aware of the concept of Raubritter—Robber Knights. Maybe the “Keep”, to keep using the term, is one of many such Keeps in the area, but one of the only ones to still be dedicated to Good and Order. Once upon a time, the Keeps held back the Darkness from the Light of Civilization. Since the fall of the power of Order, however, the other Keeps have succumbed to the will of evil men, becoming strongholds that are used by bandits, evil wizards, evil knights, and so on.

From this simple idea, we have the potential for many adventures. Maybe the Keep’s leadership wants to reach out to other Keeps that still subscribe to the old ways of honor, and they enlist the PCs. Maybe one of the robber-knights’ keeps holds a magic-item that must be recovered, or a helpless innocent in need of rescuing. Maybe in the absence of a central power for order, many of the regional monsters proceed aggressively, knowing that they’ll have few challengers, or even be supported, if they’ve made a deal with an evil lord. Maybe they attack caravans, giving a cut to the lord in exchange for adventurers being pointed towards a rival tribe.

I don’t know too much about the campaign so far, except that I’m going to go with a medieval European feel, with a twist to make it reminiscent of the Germanic raubritter period. Villages and towns will largely be related to the Keep they stand near, and I suspect there was once a strong, centralized kingdom which is now gone. I see lots of potential for adventure already, and I feel confident that I can spin this into a full campaign setting.

[bffhreprise]

Entry 356

 One glance of the inside of our “plane” had me wanting to tear the ship apart and see how it worked, but I wouldn’t be able to even loosen a screw, assuming I could find one in the first place.  Death still lingered heavily on my mind even after two weeks had passed.  One loose screw, and I could actually die.

 With plenty of time to think about the idea, I had come to the conclusion that I was actually scared of dying, something most people probably realized before my age.  Unlike normal people, I had grown up believing that killing me was impossible, and now the thought of dying seemed all the more terrifying for it.

 James and Alma had slipped off shortly after landing, no doubt needing to attend some meeting with her family.  With just the others here, there was a chance I could find a way to escape, most of them had already let their guard down around me, but what was the point?

 Raine approached me and asked in her broken speech “Wh-What are you… d-doing?”

 The fact she could make intelligible words at all was astounding, given the difference between her speed and the rest of us.  If James ordered her to find me, I really doubted I could hide.  After getting to know her a little, I realized that every last sense of hers was heightened to levels I couldn’t hope to reproduce with any one device.  If I took the time to wire an entire city with security—a project that would likely take decades to be done well—my machines still wouldn’t compete with her.  What was the point of trying to escape?  If I was lucky, Raine would collect me as easily as if she were catching an interesting bug, and that was the more palatable option.  If James’ other friend came… I shuddered involuntarily.

 “Uncertain.” I replied honestly, knowing Raine could probably read lies on people with ease.  I was envious of her power.  “I would say that I have no idea where I’m wanted at the moment, but I know I’m not really wanted at all.”

 Raine reached over and touched my arm with the lightness of a feather landing.  Then she said, “Don’t say that.  If James didn’t want you with us, you wouldn’t be.  He wants you to behave is all.”

 She had a point, one that I couldn’t really understand.  Though I had wondered several times if James simply had no stomach for isolating me, the meeting with Death changed everything.  He could and would kill me if he thought I was a problem, but he didn’t.  He knew I’d obey now—and even had me help the nincompoop who occasionally glared at me over the past several minutes—but he never seemed inclined to force his advantage for my service.  He was more...

 “Wh-When are you... g-going to pick up th-that... credit c-card that was... arranged f-for you?” questioned Raine when I didn’t attempt to continue the conversation.

 “Whenever I can get that one to walk with me down to reception.” I told her, pointing at the moron who was excitedly talking about crime rates when the others were more interested in shopping.

 Raine was suddenly by Portentia, tapping her shoulder to get her attention.  Raine signed something to her, reminding me that I’d be forced to learn sign language at the rate Portentia acclimated to her new hearing device, and then appeared right in front of me, staring up happily.  “She d-doesn’t mind us… g-going.” stated Raine as she held a hand up to me.

 As I accepted, I tried to consider what Raine might be getting out of this, but my thoughts were jarred as I was suddenly in a hallway, squeezing past some people.  For a panicked moment, I realized we hadn’t put my disguise back on, but then I realized that Raine had adjusted my hair, placed the wig, and carried me down here already.  I really, really wished to understand how she could move objects without them bursting into flame or being obliterated by the speeds.

 I wasn’t surprised that Raine knew precisely where I needed to go, letting me do all of the speaking at the desk to save her the discomfort.  She didn’t even bat an eyelash when I supplied the fake name from my current passport.  The girl probably had heard everything when the plans were made.  At least Portentia wasn’t so stupid as to think I’d try anything against Raine.

 I couldn’t be certain why Raine moved us when she did, not too long after leaving the hotel’s concierge, but I imagined that she had taken the time to fully check if anyone was likely to notice our sudden disappearance.  Having plenty of time to look into matters compared with the rest of us, Raine was a careful person.  If she wasn’t, I’d hate to think what would happen to the things she touched.  Mila never seemed to mind indulging my curiosity when I spoke with her, and I had asked about Raine a number of times.

 Sadly, the idiot was done with her conversation when we returned, so she was determined to once again take me into her charge.  I did my best to ignore her as she once again started giving me warnings and asking what dirty deals I was attempting now.  She really did blather on when she got started.

 Despite my attempt to ignore her, something she just said caught my attention.  “Hold on a moment.  You speak French now?” I questioned in surprise.

 “Yes.  I didn’t want Mila to have to translate everything when you try to slip something past me.” she replied as if that was an obvious reaction to her imaginings.

 I interrupted her again as she tried returning to her rant.  “When could you possibly have found the time to learn a language?” I asked, knowing I tended to take at least a month, practicing off and on.

 She looked all too smug as she said, “During my patrols every night for the past week.”

 I started testing her French by switching languages.  To my surprise, she actually seemed fluent, at least as fluent as I was.  There were no doubt gaps in what either of us would understand, but I found myself impressed that someone who continually acted like a moron could learn a language in one week.  She’d need more than just a good memory.  Mentally upgrading her from a complete idiot to mostly an idiot, I did my best to bear her tirade.  I actually felt slightly less troubled by having… lost… to her.

 Informed that James and Alma would not be returning in time to eat with us, we were guided by Marco to eat at a restaurant he thought we’d all enjoy.  I had zero doubts about that man’s tastes in food at all.  After indulging myself in his cooking, I never wanted to eat anything he didn’t recommend again.

 Most of the group split off to their own rooms after our meal, but a handful of us were incapable of sleep, or experiencing jet lag for that matter.  When Raine and Cosette decided to watch a movie, I joined them.  Portentia made sure that Raine and Cosette were going to keep an eye on me, and then excused herself to “patrol the city”.  I wished her luck with the purse snatchers, enjoying her annoyed expression enough to get through her small tirade about the importance of her work.

 “You don’t have to antagonize her.” stated Cosette as I took a seat.

 I nodded, but didn’t reply.  Speaking with Cosette wasn’t a simple affair.  Like the Slayer family, Cosette was well-versed in double meanings and misleading statements.  She would be used to sifting through everything I said for anything she deemed useful, adding to her arsenal against me.  Unlike half the others, I felt Cosette was extremely dangerous.  She had that air about her like she’d dine happily moments after tearing someone limb from limb, similar to some less than savory people with whom I was acquainted.  With her being a vampire, I could see her dining on her enemies, except for me, of course.  I had seen what my blood does to vampires.  If they were a machine, I’d call it rapid cascade failure.

 After the movie, I was convinced to create a character for another game of Pathfinder RPG that Mila had prepared.  On the trip here, I had grown acquainted with the game and learned enough about the possibilities to create a character, especially with Mila’s help through the VR interface.  She had even prepared a special unit for me based on my sight technology.

 I decided to create a Tiefling Paladin.  Tieflings were a race exhibiting physical abnormalities and power from fiendish ancestors, despite typically being born from humans.  I did my best to convince myself that I wasn’t letting envy of Raine’s abilities get to me, but there might have been a little of that behind my decision.  There was also the comical aspect of having the mix of unholy blood and divine power.  Before I had even finished, James and Alma had arrived, already discussing character options.  They were joining us.

 Listening to James and Alma’s discussion, they were rolling up a Halfling Gunslinger and an Elven Arcanist respectively.  He’d have a troubled past, and she’d have fallen for the little man who had saved her, despite his troubled past.  I still had trouble understanding how the obnoxious, fearsome Alma had become this sickeningly sweet wife.  What had happened to these two on their honeymoon?

 Cosette, who had created a Dhampir Rogue that hunted vampires, had happily tied her backstory to theirs after a little more discussion.  Her character had stumbled upon theirs and asked them for help in saving a town.

 “A Tiefling Paladin?” inquired Cosette with a smirk after asking what I was playing.  “Is that even legal?”

 Smiling, Mila said, “There's no rule against it.”

 “A redeemed villain is my calling.” I insisted, still not really feeling that I had ever been villainous but unwilling to argue with James.  “She'll gladly fight the darkness alongside your character.  In fact, if no one is against it, my character could start already in the town ready to face the undead horde.”

 “Who said there is a horde?” questioned Cosette.  “Vampires can be brilliant strategists, carefully taking what they need while manipulating the masses.”

 “Are you certain?  I've seen them portrayed as bloodthirsty monsters unable to resist the urge to feed.” I told her, playfully pulling down my collar to expose my neck while knowing she’d probably take that as a threat.

 “In Pathfinder RPG, they tend to be in control of themselves and others, but you'll have to see how this plays out.” explained Mila as if to keep everyone on topic.  “Everyone ready?”

 “No.” I admitted.  “How am I supposed to heal people at level one?”  Mila had assured me that Paladins can take the role of healer, but I didn’t see any ability that suggested such a thing was possible at this point.

 Mila shrugged and said, “Typically, you'd heal out of combat with rest and healer kits, given that none of you have a class that can use Divine magic yet.  As part of your backstory, we'll say Tina the Terrible found a partially used Wand of Cure Light Wounds.  The wand has twenty charges left.”

 “You named your Paladin 'Tina the Terrible’?” questioned Cosette with obvious amusement.  Knowing whether or not she was acting was near impossible.

 “Yes.  She's often misunderstood due to a low Wisdom and ranks in Intimidate.  I plan for her to fail her Sense Motive checks regularly, jump to conclusions, and intimidate people into behaving.” I explained, feeling there was a charm to the idea.

 Cosette grinned widely.   “Okay.  That does sound terrible.  What are you playing, Raine?”

 “C-Catfolk Sorceress with a ch-cheetah.  B-Bio… loaded.” she told us, pointing to the headsets.

 I put my headset back on and groaned.  “This thing’s a novel.” I complained, manipulating the scroll bar to try to find an end.

 “I must say that it's very well-written and gives an excellent sense of the character.” asserted Alma, who might have already read the novel in its entirety.  She was incredibly fast by comparison to everyone if Raine was excluded.

 James didn’t comment, probably skimming the novel himself.  Raine was playing a Catfolk Sorceress who was busy trying to convince the city guards that her cheetah was a very obedient pet when James, Alma, and Cosette’s characters arrived.  My character was… in jail.  Though Mila was probably just teasing me, I could actually understand how my character could end up there with a few misunderstandings.

 Mila was very engaging as every single NPC in the virtual world.  Being an AI really gave her extreme advantages with such things.  As ways to pass the time went, playing Tina the Terrible wasn’t the worst.